#[So if ever that happens I promise it's not a personal slight I'm just shit at talking to people akjshdkjsahdkja]

[amischiefofmuses]

.

[softestqueeen]

passenger princess

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!tech analyst!reader

summary: After what happened and Aaron being unable to drive, you have the honor of driving him home. Too bad the little motel has only one room left - with one bed.

warnings: 18+ MDNI!! smut, unprotected p in v, no real foreplay, aftercare, kissing, making out, fluff, the beatles ig, love confession, kinda aprupt ending (sorry guys, i'm tired)

wordcount: 3603 words

a/n: this is inspired by this post from @pastelpinkflowerlife! i loved the idea and hope I could do it justice! i peppered in some of my favourite tropes and smut ofc. (i'm just a girl) for the plot they are also not in NYC but a bit farther away, so i could make it a bit more realistic. enjoy <3

“He’s yours,” Derek told you with a shit eating grin while your smile dropped.

“What?”

“You get to drive Mr Grouchy over there home. He’s not cleared to fly yet because he almost busted his ear drum, so someone has to drive him. And that’s where you come in, sunshine. The rest of the team is already on their way to the airport. Here’s your car key.” His smile never faltered once as he flung the key at you.

“Oh, and by the way, Garcia has all your tech stuff, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Derek, we both know that that’s not what I’m worried about, but whatever, I’m not getting out of this, am I?” the whining in your voice was impossible to ignore.

“Nope, drive safe, princess,” and with that Derek turned around, got into another car, which was almost identical to the one you would have to drive and drove away.

You didn’t get any time to sulk, Aaron already walking up to where you were standing, a slight frown on his face that turned apologetic once he looked into your eyes. He felt genuinely bad for you.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me now. I bet that’s not how you anticipated to spend your weekend.”

“Oh, no it’s all right Hotch. I’m not really a fan of flying anyways, I’ve always preferred to be in the lair at Quantico.”

So, it was not actually that all right, because you had teeny tiny problem.

You had a huge crush on your boss, Aaron Hotchner.

From the moment you first laid eyes on his tall frame, his piercing eyes and oh those hands, you knew you were a goner. Since then, you were incredibly attracted to him, and you knew you would inevitably catch feelings for him. Which weren’t very promising conditions for driving in a small car with him. Especially when said person was one of the best profilers ever.

But you really don’t have a choice and if you were being completely honest you were glad that in some way or another could take care of him. You knew with how stubborn he could be it wouldn’t be easy, but you hoped he could at least relax a little bit. 

A moment of silence passed between the both of you before you decided to take a step towards the car.

Aaron was already on his way to the driver’s side, but that would not happen, not under your watch.

“I’m driving today. We both know you shouldn’t right now, and it won’t hurt you to sit back and relax a little bit. For once, let someone take care of you, please” the smile you sent him, made him begrudgingly agree. He’s always had a soft spot for you and your smile, especially because it always made everything seem a little lighter. No matter if it were a case, a profile, or any other conversation, you could turn his whole mood with just a simple smile. Oh, and don’t get him started about how he feels every time you beam at him.

Aaron still didn’t step away from the car, rather opening the door and holding it open for you.

Thanking him with a shy thanks you get into the car. Hotch closing the door behind you, walked in front of the car to get in himself.

Once you were both buckled in, you couldn’t hold the comment back that was burning on the tip of your tongue. It was a bold comment, especially from you, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“You’re like my passenger princess now for once,” and while that made you giggle, Aaron only shot you a slightly amused but still grumpy glare. You referred to the one time he called you that (also as a joke) when there was a local case about a year ago and he drove you back towards the head quarters. After you got hurt, he desperately needed to see you smile again and he definitely succeeded.

You started the car, put on the radio and now your little road trip could officially start.

Aaron could now properly look at you; the way your hair fell down your shoulders, the slope of your nose, the curve of your lips, the blush on your cheeks, the way your lashes touched your cheeks every time you blinked. You were truly mesmerising.

The truth was – Aaron had feelings for you, the first time he saw you was like a slap in the face, your beauty taking his breath away. It was the first time he ever felt something akin to butterflies since he first met Haley back in high school and definitely the first time he considered romance again after her death. If he were being honest, he would have hired you even if you weren’t as good at your job, for completely selfish reasons. Fortunately, though, you were an outstanding agent and fit right in with Garcia, who would be your closest colleague. That day he couldn’t get you out of his head, and till this day he couldn’t.

But as long as he wasn’t 100% that you felt the same, he wouldn’t act on his feelings. As you were his employee it also wouldn’t sit right with him to possibly put you in an uncomfortable position or force you to do something you may didn’t want to do.

So, for now he would just keep on watching from afar, or as of now, rather from up close. He wasn’t too mad about you driving, that way you couldn’t pay him too much mind while he could fully concentrate on studying your face and committing it his mind.

A Beatles song coming on the radio, interrupted his train of thought. Before he could do it though, your hand reached out and increased the volume, the song now filling every inch of the car. And to Aarons absolute delight, he could hear your gentle voice singing along. Now he suddenly wished the music weren’t quite as loud, so he could hear you better, but he would take what he could get.

Once the Beatles have passed, the station played a lot of other stuff Aaron thought you wouldn’t really like or would be too young to know, but you knew the lyrics to all of the songs. Hotch assumed that you didn’t even realise that you were singing, which made the moment strangely more intimate. After about one and a half hours of driving, there was suddenly a loud metallic sounding noise, which made you both freeze.

You pulled over and got out of the car, Aaron immediately following suit. Once you’ve walked around the car, you saw exactly what caused the noise – you had a flat tire. Upon taking a closer look you could see that you must have driven over a nail, which was now stuck in said tire.

Aaron saw the issue as well. “Do we have a spare tire?”

“I have no idea, how about you check the trunk?”

“Good idea,” Aaron said, already on his way to the back of the car.

“Wait- Aaron, do you know how to change a tire?” you only now realised that you definitely did not know how to change one and you just prayed that he knew, because calling someone because of that would be a bit embarrassing. It would also prolong your stay at the side of the road, which also wouldn’t be ideal.

You probably didn’t realise what you said, but hearing his first name falling from your lips almost made Aaron blush like a schoolgirl. Usually, both of you kept a professional face, never using your frost names unless you were meeting after a case with the others.

Once Aaron had calmed down a bit, he came back with a spare tire and answered you, “Of course I know how to change one, don’t you?”

“Uhm- well, I never had to do it, and it also never happened to me before. I’m glad you know how to do it though,” the smile returned to your face, while Aaron got to work.

He encouraged you to watch and explained everything to you, even letting you fasten a few of the screws and rewarding you with a rare smile once the new tire was installed.

Finally, you went back to the car and resumed your journey. It all went well, but of course, it couldn’t stay like that for long.

From one moment to the other, it suddenly started raining like crazy, the roads slick from the rain. The journey would have taken a few hours that you planned to drive without any overnight breaks, but the rain made that almost impossible.

“Maybe we should stay the night somewhere and wait for the rain to stop,” Aarons gentle voice cut through your inner turmoil. It always scared you a bit that he could tell exactly what you were thinking without you saying a single word.

“That’s a good idea; I’ll stop at the next motel.”

Finally, the next exit neared, the storm only getting worse and worse by the minute. You were glad you finally got off the street, all of Reid’s statistics about car accidents in extreme weather conditions plaguing your mind.

You took the exit, the dingy motel not looking like the most comfortable, but it was the only shelter you could get at the moment.

After parking the car, the two of you grabbed your go-bags and hurried inside. From the inside the motel had the same shabby charme as on the outside. A bored looking teenager looked up as you approached the information desk. Hotch took over the talking, asking for two rooms.

“We only have one room available at the moment, we should have more tomorrow, though,” came from the boy, his voice unwaveringly monotone.

The two of you made short eye contact, your smile reassuring him that it was all right.

“It’s fine, we’ll take it.”

He handed over the key, Aaron leading the way to your room. After opening the door, he held it open for you, letting you take the first look at your little oasis. You froze in the middle of the doorway, the single queen-sized bed in the middle of the small room almost glaring at you. The flowery sheets that matched the dusty curtains just added to your horror.

“Are you alright?” came his voice through your brain fog, your legs immediately starting to move again.

“Oh, yea I’m fine, I just didn’t expect it.”

“Expect what?” he asked before stepping inside himself “Oh.”

You turned around, the mild shock evident in his voice.

“If you’d like I can sleep on the floor, if this arrangement makes you uncomfortable,” he immediately offered once you had fully turned around.

“There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on the floor with a damaged ear and bruised body. We’re both grown ups, if you don’t mind, we can share the bed,” you’d do anything to get that poor man off the floor, even if the thought of sharing a bed made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

He gives you a curt nod before offering you the bathroom first, claiming he still wanted to call Jack. You told him to send the little boy lots of kisses from you before taking your go bag and disappearing into the bathroom.

After taking a shower, brushing your teeth, and doing your short skin care routine, you step outside again. Aaron had taken off his jacket and tie, the top buttons of his shirt undone. He looked up once he heard the door open, his eyes wandering over your pyjama which only consisted of shorts and a baggy t-shirt, that barely covered you, your legs on fully display.

He realised he may have stared at you when you started moving again, taking a seat at the other side – your side – of the bed. Grabbing his own bag, Aaron disappeared wordlessly into the bathroom.

You prayed that you didn’t make him uncomfortable with your outfit, you didn’t think you had to share a room with anyone, especially not with him. Slipping under the covers, you take your book and start reading, quickly losing yourself in the pace of the book.

When Aaron had taken his shower and joined you in bed again, you tried your best to stay neutral. You put away your book, leaning over to your bed side table to turn off the light. He did the same, both of you covering yourselves with the blanket before wishing each other a good night.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep, both exhausted from the intense case and long car ride. But you woke up not soon after, having slept for about two hours.

The first thing you noticed was a steady warmth against you and something heavy on your stomach. You opened around and turned your head, jut to see Aaron’s head in the crook of your neck, silently snoring while the creases absent from his usually frowny face. He was hugging your body and had apparently pulled you closer to him in his sleep. The contempt expression on his face kept you from waking him, though your eyes seemed to have disrupted his sleep.

Aaron opened his eyes, immediately feeling groggy. What was unusual though, was the warm body that he apparently had hugged to himself. The comfort of the position almost lulled him back to sleep when he felt eyes on him and remembered who he had pulled closer to him.

He raised his gaze, meeting your curious eyes, but not once did his grip on you falter.

“Didn’t take you for a cuddly guy, Hotchner,” your sleepy voice broke the silence, filling the space between you. Your faces were so close together, that Aaron could feel your breath fanning on his face, just how he was sure you felt him breathing against your neck just moments before.

After a quick laugh escape him, he pleaded with you. “Please, we are literally cuddling right now, please call me Aaron.” You calling him by his first name, would make the situation so much more intimate. It wouldn’t just be Hotch being a bit lonely and cuddling up to you while unconscious, it would mean so much more.

His comment made both of you laugh and after silence settled again neither of you could deny the tension now. Your eyes moved from his, to his lips before returning, a new hunger suddenly visible in your eyes.

Aaron got the cue and took the first step, leaning forward and connecting your lips. Your face was already so close to his that it didn’t take much to kiss you, only a small tilt of his face and a slight change of position on your part and you finally got what you dreamed of for years.

But it was so much better than you could ever imagine, his lips unbelievable soft and steady against yours, his lashes fluttering and hands wandering to your waist, holding you steadily against him. One of your hands finds it’s way to his chest, the other one gliding into the hairs on the back of his neck, holding him close to you.

Even though you started out slow, it didn’t take long to get a tad more heated. Hands started to wander, to explore and you could feel Aaron’s tongue running over your bottom lip, seeking entrance.

Instinctively you part your lips, his tongue slipping into your mouth. Your tongues didn’t fight for dominance, they moved together, finding a rhythm in each other. Unfortunately, you had to breathe, so you reluctantly pulled away, Aaron’s lips chasing after yours.

You opened your eyes, immediately finding his, pupils blown wide, his breathing heavy.

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice still groggy with sleep, though not at all uncertain.

“You, Aaron.” His name from your lips made something in him snap. He connected your lips again, before flipping you, so he was completely on top of you, covering your frame with his body.

Aarons lips parted from yours, now making their way over your face to your neck and slightly under the hem of your shirt, the feeling of his lips against your hot skin driving you insane. Before he could go any further though, you stopped him by fisting his sleep shirt and pulling him up to you again.

Now, you could also feel his arousal, his prominent bulge pressing against your thigh, making you whimper.

The man above you gave you a slightly puzzled look.

“I need you now, I don’t think I can wait any longer, Aaron,” your voice was breathy, but you made clear what you wanted, because you knew Aaron would give it to you. The thought made your heart rate increase even more, if possible.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” the nickname made you swoon, though his lips on yours served a quick distraction.

 His hands started to wander again, halting at the waistband of your sleep shorts. Before he could even pull away you were already nodding your hand and burying your hands in his hair. Aaron let his hand slide under the waistband, finally making contact with your heat.

You let out a moan once he let his middle finger slide through your folds, the sensation almost too much. He withdrew his hand to pull the shorts down and you were quick to kick them off.

Now, Aaron pulled down the waistband of his own pants, freeing his impressive length. He wasn’t just long, but also just the right kind of girthy and veiny. You couldn’t help yourself, one hand reaching down and wrapping around him. Slowly, you started to apply pressure moving your hand up and down, letting the palm of your hand glide over his tip, not once breaking the kiss.

He let out a low groan into your mouth and grabbed you by the wrist, pulling your hand away. Taking his length in his own hand he finally moved himself towards your entrance. His tip made contact with you and Aaron didn’t waste any time and started to press inside of you.

Because of the lack of foreplay, he made sure to give you enough time to get used to the intrusion, you hand now gripping his biceps for leverage. Once fully inside of you he let out a sigh, the hand not holding him up wandered to your face cupping your cheek. Your eyes fluttered open, making contact with his. Giving him a nod to signal him to start moving, he pulled out almost completely, before completely bottoming out again, the front of his pubic bone touching your clit in this position.

He pressed his chest against yours before finding a comfortable rhythm, slow but sure, adding so much more intimacy to the situation. The only noise that could be heard in the room where your joined moans and groans and the careful sound of skin hitting skin. It didn’t take long for you to get closed, his chest rubbing against your nipples, his pubic bone against our clit and his thick cock inside of you, an almost overwhelming experience.

By the way Aaron was panting and the way his cock twitched inside of you, you knew he was close.

“Please, come inside of me, Aaron. I’m so close," you whispered into his good ear on purpose. Your warm tight walls, your voice and that final little detail made him unravel, his cock spurting his cum into you, painting your walls white.

Aaron groaning into your ear and the sensation of his cum filling you, made the tight coil in you finally snap and you threw back your head with a moan of his name. He slowly came to a halt inside of you before peppering countless little kisses onto your face, helping you calm down.

Once the two of you had your breathing under control, Aaron placed a final kiss on your lips before pulling out of you, making you whine and him hiss at the loss of contact.

He unravelled from your arms and went to the bathroom to clean himself up. Joining you again he held a warm washcloth, which he used to clean you up with a gentle hand, running his free hand over your hip and soothing you. He threw it onto the bedside table before laying down with you again, opening his arm for you. Not hesitating for even a moment you scoot closer and lay your head onto his chest, your arm wrapping around his torso. His hand softly stroked your hair while the other one went to your hip, drawing small shapes onto your skin.

You tilt your head back to look at him. “Aaron, I have to tell you something,” his heart started beating faster, your ear still pressed to his chest, though he only answers with a hum and thoughtful eyes, “I wasn’t really honest with you in the past. I have feelings for you, Aaron, and I have for quite a while now. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable with this, especially if you thought that this was only a one time thin-“ Aaron cut your rambling off with a kiss.

“Don’t worry, honey. I love you too.”

Content and also very relieved you place another quick peck on his lips before laying down on his chest again and closing your eyes.

It is to say that the rest of your road trip went without any further interruptions and the silence in the car was now anything but awkward.

a/n: i hope you liked this, if so please leave some notes, likes, reblogs and comments! feedback is very appreciated! i’d like to write more with criminal minds characters, so if you have any ideas/requests lmk!!

please also consider supporting my ao3: @ softestqueeen

requests open! (now also for the x files)

taglist: @silvermagnolias@milywatermelon@bigbananaa @mmmmokdok people interested in the initial post: @lmg-stilinski24 @mrs-ssa-hotch @htchnr @casualkryptonitekitten @their-love @itsfelicity-emma @fanficrseblogged

[ariesangelxo]

mornings - part two

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI

cw: more angst, still no comfort (i promise it’s coming in the next part), heartbreak, one mention of panic attacks, prescription benzo use, recreational coke use, drinking, arguing, mention of a gun and a gunshot at the end, not proofread lol

an: thank u all SO SO much for all of the love on part one !!! i am blown away and in awe. there also will be a part three for sure <3

part three

the past twenty-six days had not been kind to you. your mornings were spent rotting away in bed until your mom would force you to get up, her expression of concern always made you feel even worse. your days weren’t much better, you forced yourself to detach from your heart and numb your emotions. it was the only way you knew how to keep going. you put on a mask during the day with your parents, giving them occasional smiles and laughs that weren’t the kind that warmed their hearts. they knew you weren’t okay, but they also knew they couldn’t force you to talk about it or you’d shut down completely. your nights consisted of taking a benzodiazepine in order to fall asleep, you couldn’t sleep without them. you tried, it only led to intense panic attacks and hysterical sobs that made your mother’s heart break in front of you.

this morning had been a bit different. you were awakened when you felt a weight in your bed, and in the haze of waking up you initially thought it was rafe. you shot up the moment you remembered everything, eyes widening and heart racing, but you looked over to see sarah in your bed. "oh my god, sarah you scared the hell out of me!" you exclaimed, holding a hand over your chest.

she let out a giggle, "i'm sorry, your mom let me in. i miss you," her tone was gentle. you had become very close with sarah during your relationship with rafe. being over at the cameron's house so often led to a beautiful friendship forming between the two of you. she was like a sister to you, something you cherished deeply as you didn't grow up with a sister.

you felt a pang of guilt in your chest at her words. you knew she missed you, she'd messaged you every single day since your break up without fail, even if you didn't always text back. you had seen her a couple times, but when she asked about what happened, you told her you weren't ready to talk about it. sarah was incredibly understanding, knowing how much you loved her brother and not wanting to push you too far.

"i miss you too, sar. i'm sorry i've been such a shit friend lately." you responded to her. you gave her a small smile, curling up next to her as she sat against your headboard.

"it's okay, i know you're not doing great with everything going on right now," she trailed off with a sad smile, "but, you're going out with me tonight!" she became animated as she spoke.

you didn't have it in your heart to deny her, not when she looked at you like you were the most important person in her world. "you know i can't say no to you. where are we going?" you asked curiously.

"there's going to be a huge party at the boneyard, and you're coming with me. no ifs, ands, or buts." she giggled out, "i need to get you out of your room, you're rotting away in here, babe."

"god, you sound just like my mother," you teased back. "i'll go though, i miss you more than you know. i even miss the pogues a bit." you both laughed, referencing her newer relationship with john b.

you couldn't prevent your curiosity from getting the better of you, "how- how has he been?"

sarah bit her lip, debating internally how much to tell you. "he's been... not great. i don't see him much when i'm home, he's usually in his room with the door shut. he's been a lot more moody too, snapping at literally everyone in the house. it probably didn't help that i told him he's an idiot and he fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him."

you couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped through your lips or the slight satisfaction you felt knowing that you weren't the only one struggling. "i love you sar. thank you." you leaned over, giving her a hug.

"i love you too. now get your ass up and shower. we're getting you a new outfit for the party."

you spent the next few hours strolling through the streets of figure eight with sarah. your arms held multiple shopping bags, filled with clothes she insisted you needed for tonight. you were incredibly grateful that she had forced you out of bed, you actually felt human for the first time since everything happened.

you found yourself in a small cafe, giggling as sarah told you a story from one of her drunken adventures with the pogues.

“you know… you should talk to jj tonight. i know he thinks you’re hot.” sarah gave you a mischievous smile as she wiggled her brows.

“funny,” you rolled your eyes playfully at her, “but it’s way too soon for me to get into anything with anybody right now.”

“i didn’t mean start dating him, i just think you would have fun together.”

“i just- i don’t know, sar. i’ve been such a wreck these past few weeks… can i tell you what happened?” you looked up from your fingers to meet her eyes, now widened with shock.

“yeah, of course you can. but don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to.”

you were grateful for her support, going into your explanation of how the last couple months of your relationship, rafe’s behavior changed drastically. sarah hung on to your every word, needing to know exactly what led to the end of your relationship.

“and so i walked into the country club to surprise him. i spent the whole morning getting ready, did my makeup how he likes, even wore a new sundress that i know he would have loved. but i walked in and…” you looked up as your vision began to blur, “he was talking with some bitch i’ve never seen before bartending. she had short brunette hair, but he fucking smirked at her the way he only does- did for me. and- and then, she basically fucking held his hand while she fucked him with her eyes, and he let it happen!”

you spit the words out like they were poison on your tongue, not noticing your voice beginning to raise with frustration. sarah’s jaw was nearly on the floor.

“what the- what the fuck?” she racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen anyone matching your description recently, but nothing came to her.

“god, shit. i’m so sorry, babe. i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.” she attempted to console you as you dabbed your eyes with a napkin.

you shrugged your shoulders, “what’s done is done. i just want to forget about everything for a while.”

she nodded, “then let’s go get ready. we can pregame at yours and ride with john b and them.”

after a few shots, a couple hours spent transforming yourself to not look like you spent the last three weeks trying to cope with your break up, and a lot of laughter, you and sarah were ready to go.

you wore a cropped loosely crocheted white sweater over your pink bikini and a white miniskirt that hugged your hips , the strings from your bottom peaking out from the top of it. you were finally feeling good about yourself again, and you’d be damned if you let anyone ruin it.

the ride to the boneyard only lifted your spirits more. it was impossible not to laugh around the pogues, especially when jj did whatever he could to hear your giggle.

you arrived just as the party was beginning to pick up. relief flooded your veins when you didn’t see rafe anywhere. you knew it was a possibility he’d be here, but it was going to be significantly easier to have a decent night without his presence lingering around.

you filled up a red solo cup at the keg, downing the cheap alcohol before refilling it.

“slow down there, or you might not make it too long.” jj approached you, giving you a flirty smile.

you gave him a laugh in response, “i’ll be fine, jay. i just want to be able to let loose tonight.”

“stick by me then, don’t want any of these pervs creeping on you.” the thinly veiled concern in his voice made you smile. you know he’s flirting, but it’s clear he wants to keep you safe knowing it’s your first night out in so long.

you spent the next hour surrounded by the pogues, and true to his word, jj looked out for you. he did so well that you failed to notice who had shown up to the party, the one and only rafe cameron.

rafe, on the other hand, saw you immediately upon arriving. it was impossible for him not to when your presence demanded his attention. he was not happy to see who you were hanging around with. his ongoing beef with the pogues was well known by everybody on the island. he didn’t come to party though, he had other business to attend to as barry gave him a side eye, “fuck are you doing, country club? you can fight for your girl later, we’ve got shit to do.”

your drink had somehow disappeared. your furrowed your brows as you looked down, giggling to yourself as you told your friends you were going to get another one. you were at the perfect level of drunk, not to the point of blacking out or vomiting, but to where you couldn’t quite walk in a straight line and everything was funny to you.

you stumbled up to the keg, starting to fill up your cup when you felt someone watching you. the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, you instantly knew who it was. it was as though there was a chip in you that alerted you to when he was nearby. you took a deep breath as you turned your head slightly, seeing rafe sat next to a man you didn’t know as he handed a small plastic bag filled with overpriced coke to a touron. rafe’s eyes didn’t leave you as he signaled him to leave.

you could hear your heartbeat in your ears, the hand holding onto your cup now trembling and the lump in your throat building. rafe stood, starting to approach you as you froze. your brain was screaming at you to run but your body refused to move an inch.

“what the fuck do you want, cameron?” your words were spat out with venom. your tone clearly surprised you both as he looked shocked momentarily. you were typically one to stand your ground, but never ever was your attitude aimed towards him.

“what do you mean ‘what the fuck do i want’? you fucking up and left out of nowhere and haven’t spoken to me in almost a month.” his voice was filled with anger, his nose flaring as he clenched his jaw.

you let out a humorless laugh, “out of nowhere? you can’t be serious, rafe. you treated me like shit the last few months of our relationship.” you didn’t yet mention seeing his interaction with the bartender at the country club, not knowing if topper and kelce had told him about seeing you when you left that fateful day.

“what? be-because i couldn’t be with you twenty-four fucking seven? like i- i wasn’t out working my ass off to afford nice shit for you?”

“‘working your ass off’ will you stop fucking lying to me? i fucking saw you at the country club,” his facial expression showed confusion, bringing his brows together to try and understand what you were talking about, “you let that bitch touch you, you looked at her how you used to look at me. i spent hours getting ready, i showed up, wanting to surprise my boyfriend for lunch, and what do i see? my boyfriend letting some bartender hang off of him while he flirts with her?”

your voice had raised as you got more and more angry. you were now shouting at him as other partygoers failed to hide their stares and murmuring. nobody ever talked to the kook prince the way you currently were, unless they wanted their face bashed in.

rafe grabbed your arm harshly, pulling you down the beach and away from others. you stumbled behind him, knowing you weren’t physically or mentally strong enough to push him away.

when you looked up at him, you suddenly noticed his blown-out pupils. you felt your heart sink. “you’re using again.” you stated flatly.

he scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. “don’t act like you fucking care.” he spat out at you.

“jesus fucking christ- rafe, when did you start again?”

“don’t worry about it. when did you come to the country club?” his tone was demanding, sparking further irritation in you.

“the day i left. i- i let a lot of shit slide for too long, because… because i wanted to be a good girlfriend and support you when i thought you were just stressed out from work. and, in return, i get to watch my boyfriend make me look like a fucking idiot.”

rafe was silent for a minute, his lips pursed as he clearly was trying to remember what he was doing before he came home to an angry ward and an empty room. then realization hit him, he knew exactly what you were talking about. he brought his palm up to his face, groaning.

when he was about to speak, he was cut off. “is cameron bothering you?” jj’s familiar voice called out. you looked past rafe’s large figure to see all of the pogues standing beside him, looking ready for a fight if it came to it.

rafe gave a humorless chuckle, “stay the fuck out of it, pogue.” he clearly wouldn’t go down without a fight either.

your heart stopped for a moment and your body filled with ice cold terror as jj pulled out a gun that was hidden behind his back in his waistband. it was clear you weren’t the only one not expecting it as the rest of them looked at jj with concern, john b telling him to put it away. “yeah? let’s fucking go, rafe. been itching for a fight for too long.”

everything became blurred. the mixture of shouting, seeing figures suddenly moving towards each other, and the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot, and then everything went black.

[justmeinadaze]

Inescapable Part 5 (Steddie X Y/N)

A/N: Ok I have one more part left...I think lol I'm 90% positive I have one more part left but sometimes I type and more of a story flows lol

Enjoy!

Warnings: Convicts Dom Older Steddie (Sir Eddie/ Daddy Steve) & Fem Sub Younger Y/N, SMUT, dirty talk (all the dirty talk), trying to be quiet, praise, etc. FLUFF, they love her and she loves them, Steddie being good dads to Olivia <3

ANGST (😈)

Coming off the last chapter they are on the run, a guard is hurt (brief mentions of blood), the guys finally tell her what happened in 86 (slight season 4 spoilers), mentions of PTSD (especially with Eddie), Reader and Steve get into a small fight (very brief), brief mentions of Y/N and Olivia being considered hostages while they're all on the run, Cliffhanger ending! Involving an idiot from their past and they are prepared to let their dark (slightly toxic) side take over to resolve the problem.

Word Count: 6843

Inescapable Series/ Donate to Me :)

Steve’s eyes continually flick to the rear-view mirror as you stare out the window of the third car they had stolen on this trip alone. It had been about 24hrs and you still looked incredibly worn out. Eddie made sure you took all your pills that were listed in your chart and sat in the backseat with you to keep an eye on Olivia when you finally fell asleep. 

“Shhh… Everything’s ok, sweetheart. You just had to get here early, didn’t you? Were you worried about your momma to? Yeah?”, he grinned when his daughter cooed.

“Alright, I’m going to pull over here. That way we can all rest and get something to eat.”, the other man conveyed as he pulled into a hotel parking lot. 

After grabbing a key and hiding the car in the back, Steve carried you inside and placed you on the bed beside where Eddie had placed the baby. 

“Go ahead and relax. I’ll run and grab some food. I saw a diner next door and we still have some formula from the convenience store we stopped at.”

Nodding at his friend, the metalhead pushes down his baseball cap over his long hair he had pulled up into a messy bun and hurries out the door. As it closes, the loud thunk stirs Olivia as she begins to whine. 

“Oh no, honey, it’s ok.”, Steve tries to sooth as he picks her up and bounces her carefully in his arms. “It’s ok. Daddy didn’t mean to scare you. You have to be quiet or else you’re going to wake up mommy.”

After grabbing the pacifier and climbing into the bed beside you, he can’t help but smile as you curl tighter into him. This is all Steve ever wanted, a little family of his own. When they started interacting with you, his mind was always a buzz with fantasies of waking up beside you every morning or going down the stairs of a big house to find his kids cackling as they ate their breakfast. Coming home after a long day at the office to find you and Eddie working together to help the children with their homework and make dinner. 

Images like that fueled him as he used it for motivation to get through each day until they were set free…until your dad ripped that away…

Steve’s nose scrunched in anger as it ran through his body before his daughter sighing brought him back to the moment. 

***

“Goddamn it.”, Eddie grumbled as he tripped over his feet reentering the hotel room. Spotting you three passed out on the bed had his heart fluttering as he placed the food down on the table. 

You looked so tiny against Steve’s large frame as his palm rested on your temple while Olivia was asleep on his broad chest with her father’s protective hand keeping her steady. 

This is all Eddie ever wanted, a family. Something he never got to have growing up. Wayne was the only person in the Munson line that seemed to give a shit about him and he promised himself when he got married and had kids they would never feel unwanted. 

When they met you, he envisioned a picture-perfect life with you and Steve by his side with a bunch of little rugrats running around. He would take you somewhere outside of Hawkins where you three could start fresh and feel safe. 

Maybe that was still something he could have if you three made it where you were going. 

The sound of you stirring and wincing grabbed his attention as he checked the clock before digging into a bag to grab your pills. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Come on. Time to take this next set of meds and I got some food for you to.”, Eddie whispers as he takes your forearm and helps you to the table. “How are you feeling?”

“Hm…better, thank you.”

“Tell me about the birth. What happened?”, he asks as he begins sorting everything. 

“The doctor thinks it was stress that induced me. It hurt so bad, Eddie. Derek rushed me to the hospital and I was there forever. After she was born, I guess I lost a bit too much blood and passed out. Told you, she was a vampire.”, you smile as the man across from you tries to do the same but can’t hide his worry. 

At the sound of the bags jostling, Steve’s eyes open and the metalhead hastily scurries over to move Olivia so he can get up to eat as well. 

“Thanks, man.”

“She has my last name. I wanted to give her yours but—”

“We know, baby. Your, um, your dad told us.”

“Is he the one that gave you those bruises?”, you ask as you reach out to touch the other man’s face.

“Let’s not talk about that right now, ok? I called Dustin and he said he’s going to send us some things at a P.O. Box a couple towns over so—”

“I want to talk about it now.” Your tone is firm, much stronger than it had been these past couple of days. “What happened? What made you escape now instead of before? You said my father saw me leaving…”

Annoyance darkens their eyes but you remain unshaken as you glare back. 

“You were covered in blood. Did you kill someone?”

“And if we had?”, Steve snaps. “What would that change? Would you take Olivia and run back to your asshole dad? Turn us in and put us back where we belong?”

“No, you fucking dick. I just sacrificed everything to be here with you two so don’t you dare talk to me like that.”, you growl before sighing heavily from exhaustion as you lean back in your seat.

Blinking, the pretty boy calms down, reaching for your soda, and holding the straw to your lips that you eagerly sip.

“I’m sorry, honey. It’s been a rough few hours.”, Steve exhales as he tilts back in his chair as well. “Your dad showed up with some of the guards who are his friends I guess and beat the shit out of me and him.”

“He was going to separate us.”, Eddie added with a crack in his voice as he stared at the table in front of him. “He was going to send me to Indianapolis where my father is and Steve to Washington. Y/N, part of the reason we’ve made it this long is each other. We protect each other.”

“That first week we went in some guy jumped me because of my last name. Munson beat his ass and anyone else who even had the idea. Later on, inmates tried to hurt him to get to me because I’m soft…or so they thought… One night some fucker stabbed him so I did the same. No body messed with us after that.”

“If he separated us, Steve would have been hurt or worse and my dad with his own asshole goons…”, the metalhead shakes the thought from his brain as his eyes meet yours. “You’d have been trapped in Hawkins alone…”

“Did—Did you have to kill someone to escape?”

There’s a long pause in the conversation before Eddie finally shook his head.

“What the fuck are we going to do, Ed?!”

“I don’t know, Steve.”, the man replies with a flat expression as his friend manically paces in their cell. 

“We’ll both be killed and what about Y/N? She and Olivia will be all alone with fucking Derek and her asshole father!”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?! Just yeah?! In Washington, I can’t protect them or you! Eddie, if you go to Indianapolis, your dad is going to fucking teach you a lesson! I guess it doesn’t fucking matter though because as soon as they throw me in a cell up there someone is going to hurt me. The only reason I’ve lasted this long is you!” Steve feels his body fold into itself as he begins to really panic. “I can’t leave you or Y/N. I love you both. How am… I’ll be all alone… I should have just let the bats fucking rip me apart—”

As the boy spoke, the metalhead felt himself get steadily ramped up till he couldn’t take it anymore and rushed forward capturing Steve’s face in his palms as his lips crashed to his own.

“I’m not going to let that happen. I didn’t let you die then and I won’t let anyone hurt you now. Do you hear me?!”, he roughly growls as he tries to control the tears that want to break free. “You won’t be alone, sweetheart, I promise. I don’t care what I have to do.”

Eddie kisses him a bit softer as the other man nods and clings to his wrist. 

The lock to their cell slowly opens and both men prepare to fight before coming face to face with a guard they trust. 

“Come on. We have to move fast.”, Bobby whispers as he ushers them out with his hand and they hastily follow. After leading them to the area he allowed them to leave through last time, he paused and handed the long-haired boy a small knife. “Ok, you remember how to get out right? Now since you aren’t coming back I need it to look like you overpowered me.”

“Wait, can’t we just hit you or something?”

“No, that’d be too suspicious. If this is really what you want to do, you need to decide now.”

Both boys glance at each other before Eddie steps towards him and places his palm on the guard’s shoulder. 

“Thank you, man. For everything you’ve done for us and Y/N.”

“I always knew you were innocent and Y/N has always been kind to me.”, Bobby smiles softly before nodding his head. “Try and hit this side here. I’ll radio it in, in two minutes so you better fucking run. Good luck, guys.”

“It was so fast, Y/N. As soon as we hit the woods, the alarms started going off. I didn’t think we’d get to you.”, Eddie sighed as he finished his story, their eyes flicking your way as you started to cry. “No, hey, no. Don’t cry, sweetheart.”, he pleaded as he got out of his chair to fall on his knees in front of you and take your hands.

“This is all my fault. Maybe if I had listened to you and left with my mom or—”

“Maybe all of this would have happened anyway.”, Steve cut you off as he pet your head. “Your dad isn’t exactly a trust worthy man.”

“I love you so much and everything is going to be alright.”

“Yeah, princess, it will.”, the long-haired boy beamed as he kissed your lips. 

##################

Three Years Later

“Olivia!”, you giggle as your daughter continues to dance around while you try to pull on her jacket. “Do you want to play outside or not?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, then you have to let me put this on you or else you’re going to freeze to death.”

“No, mommy! I no freeze to die!”, she laughs, her cackle reminding you of Eddie as she shows off all of her teeth and gums. 

It had been three years since you made it over the border into Canada with your convict boyfriends in the trunk and Dustin’s falsified papers at your side. You managed to make it to a tiny little town and create a new life for yourself that you absolutely loved. 

With their friends help, you were able to convince a small law firm that you had graduated from college with high marks. Granted it wasn’t criminal law like you had been studying but you were still able to help people and that made you happy. 

Eddie absolutely despised cutting his hair but to keep a low profile he did what needed to be done. Like Olivia, he tended to keep it longer than normal but as soon as it started to go too low past his ears, he went to the shop to get it cut. Because they didn’t want to be too far from each other having been in a small cell together for over 10 years, both men got a job at a car dealership with him in the automotive shop and Steve as a salesman.

Out in public, people called you three by different names but in your home you were still Y/N, Eddie, and Steve. The little dwelling the pretty boy was able to find was modest but perfect for your family with two bedrooms and a large backyard for your daughter to run around in. 

Thankfully for her, she never sensed anything was amiss when it came to her life and you hoped to keep it that way for as long as you could. 

After lifting her into your arms, you carried her outside where you watched her run off to climb her jungle gym. 

“Be careful!”

“Or what?!”, she teased.

“Or else I’m going to tell your daddy and he’s going to tell Santa you were bad!”

“Nu uh!!”

“Yeah huh!”

“What in God’s name are you two shouting about?”, Steve grinned as he opened the back door to join you guys outside. 

“Our daughter is being mean.”

Eddie kisses your lips before running towards Olivia who opened her arms wide to give him a big hug. 

“Ew, daddy! Smell bad.”

“Oh yeah? I know, we had a car in today that I’m surprised didn’t explode. How was your day, sweetheart?”

“Good. Mommy take me t-to work.”

“Did you two have fun?”, the other man asks as he leans down to give her a big hug as well. 

“Yeah! Mister…Mr. Jackson gave me cookie!”

Grinning, the three of you sit on your back patio as you watch Olivia play. This was everything they ever wanted and they were so grateful to be able to experience this with you.

***

“Mmph—fuck, Steve. Feels so good”

“Shhhhh, baby.”, the pretty boy scolds making you smile as you pass by the open bathroom door in your shared bedroom before throwing yourself down in front of your desk and turning on your bulky computer. 

As the years passed, both men seemed to open up more when it came to their love for each other and you absolutely encouraged it. You wanted them to feel safe and loved not just with you but themselves. Now that there was no longer the looming threat of prisoners and being hurt, they confided in you that it no longer felt like survival but genuine affection that they could now feel openly without fear of it being exploited.

Sliding on your headphones to give them extra layer of privacy, you did what you do every night and began double checking information online. 

That first year, message boards and police sites were full of information trying to hunt down the two escapees and their “hostages”. You assumed your father thought that would not only protect you from any prosecution (or embarrassment for him) but make people hunt for them harder if they believed they had kidnapped a baby.

As time progressed news began to dwindle and for that you were thankful. There was the occasional “sighting” but when you read the article you breathed a sigh of relief realizing it wasn’t even close to where you were. 

The feeling of fingers in your hair brought you back to the moment as you leaned your head back just in time for Eddie’s lips to softly land on yours. 

“Anything new out in the world?”

“Mmm…no.”, you grinned as you placed your headphones and CD player to the side. 

“Fuck me, it’s cold.”, Steve whined as he scurried out of the bathroom and hastily threw on his sweats with a long sleeve shirt. “How are you two not cold?”

“You would think he’s never grown up around snow.”, the other boy teased as he leaned his head on your shoulder. “One of these days one of you will have to show me how to use this thing.”, he gestures towards the computer. “Especially since Dustin and Mike showed Wayne how to sign up for email.”

“Is that safe?”, Steve asks cautiously as he places his hands on his hips behind you both. “I mean can they like…track who he emails to…”

“He may have a point. It’s ok. We’ve all had to make sacrifices to be up here.”, Eddie sighs as he tries to smile your way. 

“Baby, I don’t see why it would be a problem. All of our information is under our aliases so if they did look it won’t seem odd.”, you comfort as you place your hand on his thigh. 

“Naw, sweetheart, he’s right. I can just keep sending him letters without the return address like we’ve been doing. I’m, um, I’m going to go grab a beer and check on Olivia.”

After kissing your forehead, he sullenly heads for the kitchen and you rise to your feet to smack Steve’s chest. 

“Ow! What?”

“Steve, he deserves to talk to the only other family he has. He can send him emails under the Ronnie name. It’s not like the police are going to descend from the ceiling as soon as he hits send.”

“Y/N, you don’t think the cops will wonder why Eddie Munson’s uncle is sending emails constantly to only one person who’s supposedly NOT his nephew?”

“You’re over thinking it.”

“Am I? Or are you not thinking enough? Honey, we can’t afford to jeopardize—”

“Don’t. Don’t you dare give me that lecture again, Steven Harrington. I worry about our safety to ok?”

The man exhales heavily as he turns and throws himself into bed, folding his arms like a toddler as you stomp away in the opposite direction to check on the metalhead.

“And then Smaug flew over the people of Laketown spewing his fire breath…Roar!”, Eddie growled as he opened his arms and pretended to fly around the room breathing fire as you watched from your hidden spot by your daughter’s doorway. 

Olivia giggled as she clapped her hands and he fell to his knees beside her bed pretending to land. 

“The dragon felt like he would be triumphant but he did not expect…the bowman…” When he widened his eyes, she did the same as she hung on every word. “Bard stood his ground amongst the flames with the one weapon he knew would take out his foe.”

You and your daughter waited for him to continue but when he didn’t you peeked around the corner to see him standing completely still. 

“Daddy? Are you ok?”, Olivia asks in a small voice before her eyes meet yours. 

“Baby?”, you ask as you slowly enter the room and place your palm on his back. His eyes were glazed over as his bottom lip began to tremble. “Hey, Eddie, look at me.”, you whisper as you cup his cheek to turn his face. 

You had seen this happen before with both of them but the triggers never made sense. You originally thought it was the trauma of being in prison but a little while after moving into your home, you went for a walk to explore the town. Everyone was exceptionally friendly including a little old Russian man who told you more about the sea food store he owned near the water. 

Steve zoned out as the man spoke and when you tried to take his hand in yours, he flinched and tried to cover his face with his arms. You showed your daughter a lot of movies from your childhood and one day during a family movie night a bat just so happened to appear in the background of the scene causing both men to stiffen. 

You never wanted to push but you always felt so helpless. 

Olivia stood up on her mattress and wrapped her tiny arms around her father’s neck. The action seemed to bring him back as he gradually lifted his own limbs to hug her to his chest. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Daddy got lost in his own adventure.”, he tried to comfort as his voice cracked. Taking a seat on her bed, he placed her under the covers and smiled as he tucked her in. 

“On your ad-ventures, did you fight a dragon?”

“Something like that, princess. Your dad went into the castle and burned the dragon while he was sleeping while I used my sword outside to protect them…just like Bard.”

“Whoa…where was mommy?”

Eddie chuckles as his eyes flick to you before focusing on his daughter again. 

“Mommy was resting safely in her own castle which is good because daddy wouldn’t have wanted her to get hurt.”

You could tell he was still trying to keep it together when he bent down to kiss her good night and took your hand to lead you back to the bedroom.

“What happened there, Ed?”, you ask as he exhales and falls back first onto the mattress. “Where did you go when you were telling her that story?”

“It’s hard to explain, baby.”

Blinking, you make a decision as you grab your desk chair and wheel till your directly in front of them. 

“What happened in 86?” That grabbed their full attention as they sat up to face you. “I know you didn’t kill those people and I’ve never pushed because I don’t want to hurt you but it’s been four years and everything we’ve been through I deserve to know.”

They exchanged a glance you saw many times between them; two people who knew a truth you didn’t. 

“Just 86? Or should we go back to the beginning in 83?”, Steve asks in a flat tone you weren’t prepared for. “That’s when Barb went missing… one of the crimes I was accused of.”

“I… I don’t know. Just tell me what you feel comfortable telling me.”

“I don’t feel comfortable telling you any of it.”

“What. Why?”

“Because you won’t believe us.”, Eddie cut in. “And when we tell you the truth…you’re going to call us crazy, realize you were wrong, take Olivia, and go back home.”

His words pierced your heart and cracked it open as the tears stung your eyes. 

“Jesus… three years and you still think so fucking little of me.”

As you got to your feet to leave the room, Steve hastily blocked your exit with his body. 

“Y/N, the last time part of the truth came out, it was retracted and used against me to put me in prison. I’m…WE’RE scared.”

“Steve, I don’t know what happened but whatever did is very real for you two. I see it in your eyes when you both zone out or flinch at something. There are so many things I’ve witnessed and heard in your case that don’t make sense but maybe the truth well make those puzzle pieces fit.”

Gesturing with his palm towards the bed, you took his place against the headboard while he sat in your chair and Eddie adjusted his body to face you. 

“It all started when Will Byers went missing…”

***

They continued to stare at you as sat their absorbing their words after telling you their entire story. Your logic brain had taken over as your eyes fleeted from left to right sifting through information in your head that you had researched before you met them. 

“Say something, sweetheart, please.”

“How…how didn’t the fire and the mayor being arrested not give validity to your case?”

Steve exhaled a breathily laugh as he leaned forward balancing his elbows on his knees.

“After everything we just told you, I like how that’s your first question.”

“And they didn’t look into…hospital records…after you were…beaten…”

“I didn’t go to the hospital—”

“Ok but EMS took care of you!”, you shouted as you struggled to catch your breath.

“Whoa, Y/N. Ok, what’s going on, baby?”, Eddie tried to soothe as he reached for your trembling hands. 

“And…and you…you almost died…someone hurt you and they didn’t…didn’t…”

“Y/N, sweetheart. I need you to breathe ok?”

You began to sob as you tried to do what he asked but you were beginning to feel super overwhelmed. Not just at the fact that monsters exist but at the notion that for years unbeknownst to you there was a group of people keeping you safe and in return they were either killed or punished including the two men you loved the most. 

“Look at me, little girl.”, Steve commanded in a tone you knew well. “We need you to breathe. No, no. Look at Daddy, baby.”, he says sternly as he cups your cheeks. “There you go, honey. Inhale, exhale.”

“Neither of you deserve what you went through.”

“You believe us? Just like that?”

“Eddie, you both talk in your sleep. I hear you wake up from nightmares that you don’t tell me about. I see it in your face when something happens or when you look at Olivia. I may not have been there or saw what you saw at the time but…I see it now.”

“I’m glad you weren’t there. It’s…it’s an awful place, Y/N.”

“I wish I could have been there during your trial or when you were at the hospital. I would have taken care of you. I would have—”

“Shhhh… hey. Put the logic brain away, nerd.”, Steve teases as he pets your head. “You’re here now and it’s our job to take care of you.”

Nodding your head, your eyes glance down at the light scaring around his neck that you had seen so many times. Noticing your gaze, he takes off his long sleeve shirt and slides closer allowing you a better look. 

“The bites hurt more than anything…like little knives piercing your sides…”

Glancing towards Eddie, he scoots closer as well and takes your hand in his placing it on the scar near his heart.

“This one… The doctors kept saying how they were surprised I was still alive.”

Tears started to trickle down your cheeks again and the metalhead quickly cupped them in his hands as his forehead met yours. 

“It’s ok, baby. We’re ok. Everything…is ok.”

“I hate the idea of you both being in so much pain.”, you whisper. 

“We aren’t anymore, Y/N. Not that kind of pain anyway. We all know how sometimes Steve and I can be a bit rough.”

When you laugh the tension in the room breaks. 

“Yeah but you know I like it when you’re rough.”

Eddie quirks up his eyebrow in a teasing manner before capturing your lips with his own. As the passion between you begins to grow, Steve climbs in on the other side of you, bringing your mouth to his as the metalhead’s trail down your neck.

Their strong palms knead your breasts as Eddie’s fingers continued their descent down your smooth frame. 

“Oh…”, you whine eliciting a small smirk from his lips as his middle and ring fingers rub slow circles against your clit.

Your eyes close as your head falls back against the pillows, only opening again when you hear the subtle smacks of their lips interlocking. 

“She’s so fucking wet.”

“Mmm—fuck her with your fingers, honey, and make her cum. She deserves to.”

“Fuck…YES—”

As Eddie did what Steve suggested, you struggled to control the volume of your moans as his digits hit every sensitive button inside you that only they knew how to reach causing the pretty boy to slam his hand over your mouth. 

“You have to be quiet, baby. Do you need the gag?”

You shake your head and he tosses a smile your way before bouncing between your legs and tossing your panties by your head. Oh, they loved this game. Pushing you to the edge while you try not to scream from pleasure. 

While Eddie’s fingers curled inside of you, Steve’s lips wrapped around your bundle of nerves. Your legs tried to close around his head but his strong hands kept them still and open. 

“Fuck…please. That feels so good.”

“Yeah, baby? You feel good?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl. So beautiful. God, your pussy is so fucking tight, sweetheart, I can’t wait to feel you cling to my fucking cock—shit.” Eddie stifled his grunt in your neck as your palm reached down to stroke him through his sweats. “Reminds me…when you came to visit us…and I fucked your hand through my pants like this. Fuck, baby, all I wanted to do was bend you over that table and fuck you till you were screaming my name.”

At his words, your cunt clenched around his fingers as Steve’s tongue flicked and applied the perfect amount of pressure to your clit as the coil snapped. You moaned a bit too loudly and Eddie shoved your panties into your mouth to silence you. 

“Haven’t gotten better at being quiet though.”, he growled but when your glassy needy eyes met his he felt his resolve begin to break. “Fuck, how can I be mad when you look at me like that. You ready for my cock, sweetheart?”

After your nod, Steve moves out of the man’s way as he quickly slides down his pants just enough for his dick to spring free before finding home between your legs. You jump as he taps your nub with his length, grinning at your sensitivity as he guides himself inside your entrance. 

“Goddamn.”

The metalhead sets a steady pace as his hands find purchase on your hips. 

“We talked about this a lot on the inside. What it would be like to fuck you…”, Steve coos as he sits on his knees beside the bed petting your head with one hand while he licked the other before placing it around his cock. “Eddie always thought your pussy would taste sweet like you and your letters smelled. Mmph. Sometimes your perfume would still be on our hands from the envelopes and we would jerk each o-other off imagining it was you.”

The more Steve spoke the faster Eddie’s rhythm got as he repeatedly hit that spongy spot inside of you that had your eyes rolling. Falling on top of you, he removed your panties from your mouth but kept them bunched in his hand as he grunted into your ear on the opposite side of his friend while he continued to talk.

“At night when the lights were out—mmm—I would imagine you in my arms. Sometimes we would climb into the others bunk and grind our cocks against the others ass until…”

“Sir—fuck—M’gonna cum.”

The metalhead was prepared, clamping his hand around your mouth as he pounded into you.

Your whimpers turned to muffled screams as you were blinded by white and your arms wrapped around his neck. As your pussy quivered around him, Eddie mewled your name into your ear till you felt him paint your insides with his release.

As soon as the other man pulls out, Steve lifts you under your arms and moves you around until you’re on top of him straddling his waist. His large palms cling to your hips as you lower yourself onto his length, your movements stuttering slightly at the sensitivity of your last orgasm. 

“You got this, pretty girl. Take all the time you need. You just have to be quiet.”

“T-Tell me stories, Daddy, please. I wanna hear ‘em.”

Eddie breathily chuckled as he rolled over till he was on his back beside Steve. 

“Steve had never done anything dominate with anyone before so I would let him practice with me. Sometimes, sweetheart, when he would fuck me I would tell him to pretend I was you. Boy, did he have a filthy fucking mouth.”

“Y-You liked it.”, he giggled as his head tilted to kiss the man’s lips. “I would say how you belonged to us. How I wanted you on your knees choking on my dick. Fuck.”

“He would fuck me so hard, Y/N, I would feel him for weeks. Like a silent reminder that we belonged to each other.”

Gripping the back of your neck, Steve yanked you down till your cheek was between his and Eddie’s. 

“And that you belonged to us.”, he whispered as his hips thrust up roughly punctuating his words. “A quiet promise—fuck—of what we would give you when we got out.”

“Please…”

A wicked grin spread across his face as the metalhead pushed your panties back into your mouth before Steve covered it with his other hand. 

The obscene sound of skin hitting skin filled the room as he slammed his cock deep within you causing your eyes to roll as your head hung as much as it could. 

“That’s right, baby girl. You take Daddy’s cock. Good girl. I can feel it, honey. Cum. Cum on Daddy’s cock, Y/N.” You do as he commands, your throat vibrating as you tried to be heard through the gag and Steve’s palm. “Atta girl. Let it go. Ride it out for as l-long as you can. Shit—I’m gonna cum.”

The man’s arms wrapped around your waist as his rhythm faltered and he thrust his spend into your now overstimulated cunt. Fingers reached between your sweaty frames and removed the gag from your mouth. 

“Such a good girl. You ok, sweetheart?”

“She…She said yeah. Fuck that was good.”, Steve answered for you after you whispered the answer exhaustedly in his ear. 

“As always.”, Eddie beams as he starts to take you in his arms, chuckling when you groan. “I know, I’m the worst person. Come on, babe, you need a bath. Steve, you wanna get her some water and check on Olivia?”

While the pretty boy does what he asked, the metalhead quickly gets a bath ready and places you inside the water, smiling softly when you sigh in pleasure. 

“We, uh, we didn’t just talk about you sexually on the inside. I feel like I should tell you that.”

Your eyes blink as he sits beside you, now in a pair of his blue boxers. 

“What else do you two talk about?”, you ask as you lean forward and run your fingers along the arm he had resting along the porcelain. 

“We wondered how we would have met you if we hadn’t of been locked up. You worked at The Hideout and I used to play there. Maybe you would have seen me up there playing my guitar or you would have served me a drink.”

“You were a law student and knowing my dad I probably would have been working with him.”, Steve added as he entered the bathroom and sat on the edge as he handed you the glass of water that you chugged down. “Olivia’s still asleep… I probably would have run into you at the Hawkins Library doing some research for a case or something.”

“We’d definitely be self-conscious at first but act like we were a confident badass.”

“Why would you be self-conscious?”, you giggle. 

“Because you’re beautiful, smart, and young with your whole life ahead of you.”, Eddie answered as he reached up to caress your cheek and you kissed his palm. “We’d just be some old assholes—”

“Eddie.”, you scold making him softly smile. 

Steve bent down to carefully lift you out of the water, placing you on your feet to dry you off. 

“More than anything, Y/N, we talked about this life here. Living with you in our own little house while our kids wreak havoc.”, he chuckles as he focuses on his task. 

“W-Would you want to have more kids with me?”

When they glance at each other before looking up at you, you know they’ve already had this conversation amongst themselves. 

“Of course.”, Eddie murmurs as he carries you into the bedroom and picks up the other man’s shirt off the floor to tug over your head. “Of course, sweetheart. Olivia is so fucking amazing and you’re a wonderful mom. We’d love to have a couple more little Munson/Harrington kids running around…”

“But…”

Pushing you back, they climb under the covers with you as the metalhead pulls your back to his chest while Steve moves some stray hair away from your face. 

“What if we have to run again? What if we get caught and you’re left to raise these kids alone? What if—hey…”, Steve tuts in a firm tone as you sigh in annoyance. “Stop. Y/N, we literally fought to have the life we have now and we’d do anything to keep it.”

“We’re just worried, baby.”, Eddie adds. “There’s a lot of risk bringing another little life into our world.”

“I love you both…so much…I won’t push but…whenever you’re ready I’m ready.”

Both men smile at you as your eyes steadily close and you fall asleep.

###################

“Hey Miss Franklin!”, the daycare administrator greets you as you walk in beaming through the front door.

“Hey Tasha. How was my little monster today?”

“She was good. Told the other kids her father fought dragons.”, the lady giggles as you playfully roll your eyes. “Let me go grab her.”

As your eyes scan over the children playing, you notice the administrator’s demeanor stiffen while talking to one of the other ladies before nervously smiling your way.

“Miss Franklin, Lily says Olivia’s uncle came to pick her up about an hour ago.”

Your heart drops as your eyes widen.

“Uncle?”

“Yeah…tall fellow about your age.” As she continued to describe him, the bile in your throat began to rise as anger clouded your brain. 

“Did he give you a name?”

“Uh, yeah it’s right here.”, she replies cautiously as she shows you the sign out sheet. 

Derek  

Speeding down the road and running every red light, you practically swerve into the dealership, sprinting inside to find the guys. Steve notices you first, his protective mode kicking in as he grabs your wrist and tells the front desk to send the other man to his office. 

“Y/N, honey, I can’t understand you when you talk fast like that. What’s going on with Olivia?”

Eddie hastily enters, the door slamming behind him as he steps forward to cup your cheeks. 

“What’s going on?”

“The daycare said Olivia’s uncle came to pick her up.”

“Who?”, he growls. 

“Derek’s name was on the sheet.”, you grumbled matching his anger. 

Steve’s office phone rings and he recognizes the number immediately, answering it and placing it on speaker. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, dada!”, Olivia shouts excitedly causing you to let out a sigh of relief that at least she sounded ok and wasn’t hurt. 

“Hey, honey. What are you doing home without mommy?”, he asks trying to sound calm. 

“Uncle Derek picked me up! When are you comin’ home? He wants to talk to mommy.”

“Baby, is he nearby? Can I talk to him?”, you inquire, listening to her little voice speak to someone in the background before a gruff tone pulled through. 

“Hey, babe. Long time no see.”

“If you hurt her, Derek, I swear to fucking God…”

“You must think so little of me. I don’t want to do anything to her. That’s why I tried to give her a better life with a better father.”

“Fuck you, you fucking dick—“, Eddie cut in before Steve grabbed his wrist.

“Ah good. Edward is there to or should I say Ronnie and Ben.”, he snickered. “Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?! Your dad reneged on our deal since you disappeared and my family lost everything. EVERYTHING, Y/N!”

At his outburst, you hear your daughter whine and both men’s eyes grow dark with fury.

“What do you want?”

“I’m at your house. Come here so we can talk. If you aren’t here in an hour I’ll take her back home with me to your father.”

“This was a mistake.”, you growled. 

“Maybe, Y/N. Maybe but for once in your fucking life you’re going to hear what I have to say. Olivia! Say goodbye to your parents.”

“Are they coming home?”, she asks cautiously.

“Yes, sweetheart. We’ll be there soon.”, Eddie answers her and his eyes close as he listens to her laugh. “I love you, Olivia.”

“Love you to, daddy. Love you, dada and mommy!”

The phone hangs up before you or Steve can reply.

“We have an hour…”, the metalhead says more to himself then you two. “I have guns stashed away a couple of miles from the house—”

“You are not pulling a gun with my daughter in that house.”, you hiss. 

“What do we do, Y/N? He’s not going to let us go and even if he was…he kidnapped our daughter. He’ll be lucky if he leaves the house still fucking breathing.”, Steve retorts in a dark tone you had never heard from him before.

“I’m not saying I disagree but I refuse to let any of this affect her. As far as she knows she’s a normal child and I want to keep it that way.”

“Then answer his question, Y/N. What the fuck do you want us to do!?”

##################

@lemme-slytherin-that-dick @micheledawn1975 @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @noooah @baileebear @dashingdeb16 @nailbatanddungeon @rockmusiciscalming12 @mikeyswifie @poofyloofy @eddiexmunsonlover @dreamliners @munsonmoonshine86 @bexreadstoomuch @kitkat80 @myherometalhead @hardladyheart @sheisjoeschateau @chelebelletx @yesimabratandwhataboutot @cherryxhaze @utterlyinsanity

[byullielle]

Honey! Are You Coming? // Bang Chan x Idol!Reader

HONEY (ARE U COMING?), Maneskin Chan tells Y/N that he's ready to make their relationship public, but always with a flair for the dramatic, he hesitantly tells her that he wants Dispatch to do the piecing together and just keep heading out with you until a rumor starts.

Tags: Est. Relationship, Humor and Fluff, Idol!Reader, Age Gap (5 years), Paparazzi (Dispatch) Involvement, Slight Angst, Social Media Utilization, Slightly Non-Linear

Disclaimer: this is my dissertation on idols dating. sasaeng contact also appears in this. MINORS DNI.

a/n: i know the song has barely reached a week of release but come on, the song is perfect. might be revealing my maneskin addiction but its a bangin song sue me.

“Baby,” Chan places his chin atop your thigh as you hum and look away from your phone down in his direction. He looked so cute, a cat headband ready in your solo apartment now adorning his head, matching yours. His eyes are tantalizing, shiny, and absolutely filled with genius and love before he smiles, “I have something to tell you, a suggestion actually,” 

There goes the mischief.

You raise a brow, now suddenly uncertain of the “suggestion” because you know Chan like the back of your hand, there’s a chance it’ll be stupid as shit.

“I think I’m ready to make our relationship public,”

A pindrop of silence blankets upon you as your breath catches on your throat. “Really?” you couldn’t help but squeak out. It was something you’ve talked about 6 months prior, right before Changbin was enlisted and he couldn’t help but turn down your offer regrettably because he thought it would impede on the moving process from dorms to personal apartments. 

You accepted his decision and response wholeheartedly, because you were satisfied with the relationship either way, knowing damn well Jessica and Jack Bahng loved you and you were the other 7 kid’s assigned head noona (despite being younger than the entirety of the 00 line).

It was one of the factors that made you secure in your relationship with Chris but it was getting a bit exhausting to constantly hide behind masks and caps just to visit or hang out with him. It was a bit selfish when it came to intentions but when were you ever selfless when it came to your want for Chan?

So now that him sitting up brings you back down in reality you raise both your brows and move your head back, "Are you sure? I'm not pressuring you or anything," you immediately counter, "I hope this isn't something I pressured you to do Chan, I swear I'm fine with our current situation,"

He chuckles, cupping your face before pulling you in closer and pressing a chaste kiss against your lips. You pout at him before you feel the comforting pressure of his hand on the crown of your head, "I'm 100% sure baby, I promise," he smiles assuringly, pressing your foreheads together, "Everything is in it's place now, we can take this risk now,"

"Okay," you breathe out in relief and close your eyes. "Although," you open them up again to see an absolutely playful look in his eyes. "I have an idea,"

You hum, looking right into his eyes before he detaches his forehead from yours, instead pulling you into his arms pressed to his side like a teddy bear. "What if we give Dispatch a little game, hm?"

You couldn't help but scoff. Of course. Your boyfriend hated being boring and basic, why were you even surprised? "You're suggesting," you lean your head against his shoulder and look up, "That we head out there and wait for a dating rumor to happen?"

"So smart," he scrunches his nose at you which garners a light punch to his chest, "Don't patronize me," you scold, making him laugh a bit more. "But yeah exactly that," he affirms.

"Well you better talk to the managers for that,"

"What?" his manager nearly shoots out of his seat in surprise at the explanation before you turn to give him a 'I told you he'd be mad,' look before being shot back with 'At least your manager seems chill about it,'

You shrug and try not to shake your head too obviously.

"Actually I don't think it's half a bad idea," your manager speaks up and Chan's manager looks at her like she'd grown a second head. She throws her hands up, "I mean think about it, it's past comeback season and your other boys are in the military, they'd forget the heat in 4 months,"

"And if they don't?" Skzji questions with a cocked-up brow before your manager shrugs, "Free clout for the next comeback,"

Chan nods along, a bit impressed about being backed up because when you told her you were dating him she flipped out and you fought for nearly a week until you cried because you thought she was going to resign. Fun times.

Chan's manager seems to try and contemplate the repercussions of doing such thing. "Look at IU and Jisoo, they're doing fairly well now despite the dating revelations," she reasons out, "The fans will create a racket but let's have faith that the public would be a little bit more open-minded about it,"

"Y/N is also at risk," he throws back, "She'll be under more scrutiny compared to Chan because she's a female idol dating another idol, this is barely the same with IU and Jisoo,"

This makes you freeze up. He does have a very tangible and very correct point too—idol-to-idol dating was more delicate, especially given you and Chan's age gap, the fact that you were once co-trainees, and the demand of both you and him on fanbases, it was not the same formula as being or dating an actor.

But all in good faith. Should something backfire you're set for retirement and could simply carry on as a producer. Dating wasn't supposed to be such a locked-down, sure thing, but with your profession, it had to be.

"Are you ready to face that?" your manager looks to you with genuine concern in her eyes as you nod wordlessly. No words had to be said, the day both of you told them that you were dating she already knew every commitment you made to the relationship wasn't half-assed.

Defeated, his manager sighs and flails his hand, "Then go do what you want,"

Chan covers his lips behind his hand but you could almost feel the smile on his face. It was cute as you couldn't help but giddily slot your hands between your thighs along with lips pressed together in a thin line.

"Oh come on! There's no hiding your reactions now, you look like a bunch of schoolgirls!"

"Give them a little bit of a challenge baby, you're making this too easy," you chuckle and roll your eyes before sliding on the mask over your mouth despite Chan's pout and initial protest. "Alright point taken," he quickly concedes and grabs another mask from the glove box, "They'll probably take forever though,"

"It's mid-year, I just hope they don't fucking wait till January 1st to announce something," you sigh before looking at him with creases upturned by the corner of your eyes, "Let's go?"

He nods and you wait by the passenger's seat for him to circle around the car to open your door. He holds his hand out and you slot it through the gaps, intertwining your hands as you get pulled out of the car. He guides you to the streetwalk, hand in hand as both of you try to scan for the tteokbokki place you loved so much.

The owner is nice, an old woman who knows you're dating but doesn't know you're idols—bless her—and she's the reason both of you could go get tteokbokki all lovey-dovey cause she has never tattled so far. You even celebrated your 15th monthsary in this small, kinda run-down shop.

Both of you figured it was a good start to tip off people, after all, you never truly knew who was watching and following.

"Halmonie!" you greet happily while Chan holds the door for you. The only other occupied booth looks your way while the old woman beams and waddles towards you with her walking cane. "Aigoo, aigoo, you're both here! Sit, sit!" she immediately ushers as Chan slots hands with you again before taking a seat at the small stools, your usual booth.

"What shall I get you kids again today? The usual?"

"Sure halmonie, add rose ramyeon for us too please," Chan nods before slipping his mask off. Usually the cap would still obscure his features but all in his curly hair and barefaced glory, you were squealing in delight at how much of a great idea this was. You couldn't help but reach over and pat down a few of Chan's stray curls while he looks at you with utter adoration.

You hum and then sit back down once satisfied, smiling and nodding to yourself before Chan couldn't help but chuckle at your ministrations. "You're cute," he says with a cheek on his palm before you roll your eyes, "No you,"

"Oh?" he raises a brow and before he could retort you could feel something capture the moment. It's always been enhanced the longer you worked in the industry—the feeling of a camera pointing towards you. It was a bit invasive but nonetheless, you send Chan a knowing look before leaning forward, "You think we'd show up on twitter today?"

"Possibly," he whispers back.

"You alright with that? It isn't dispatch,"

"Yeah, but knowing them?" he scoffs and leans back, "They'll get their hands on it in no time,"

You laugh softly and shrug, "Whatever helps them not release it January 1st,"

He looks at you with an amused glint in his gaze, crossing his arms while scanning through your features properly, "You really wanna tell the world ASAP that badly huh,"

"I mean!" you start to defend yourself, a little bit flustered that Chan could read you like an open book, "It'll be fun and all but if they take too long I'm doing it my damn self,"

"4 month cut-off?" he negotiates as you nod, satisfied at the timeline given, "4 months,"

As the night progresses, both of you eat your tteokbokki, fish cakes, ramyeon and kimbap in peace, muddled in either deep or playful discussion.

And unfortunately, you two didn't trend on Twitter that night.

Foregoing masks was one thing, but showing up to the JYP building like you were part of the damn company was another. With your hair tied back, bareface on full display, only your eyes obscured by a black cap, and casual clothes on, it seemed like you were just clocking in on a work day to have a producer's meeting in JYP but fortunately, you were just there to bug your workaholic of a boyfriend.

With a box of vitamins, a takeout bag of soup, and a lunch box, along with a flask filled with water, the security greets you with a smile before handing you a visitor's pass to aid your roaming around the JYP halls. Getting to Chan was mapped out in the frontal terrains of your mind, getting there at record speed while occasionally greeting the staff passing by.

To say that this was a more liberating experience was an understatement.

Usually, Chan would have to schedule your arrival properly so that none of the staff potentially paid off my paparazzi would snitch when they see you but now it was so different because you were going to Channie and he didn't even know it. People look and stare on your way to his studio, sure that it'll definitely get some interns talking but you simply give them polite smiles and curt bows before carrying on.

You finally get to the floor of Chan's studio, humming to yourself before reaching the door and knocking. You press your head slightly to the door, listening for music in case he didn't hear the knock until you see a staff member exit the studio next door. Trying not to mind them, you knock a bit louder, hand heavier on the door before they whip their head at you and furrow their brows.

"Excuse me, are you an intern? You shouldn't be knocking that loudly against Bang Chan-ssi's studio!" she scolds which makes your brows shoot up a bit at the reprimand.

If there was Chan's Room, he'd tell you for sure and you'd already be watching the broadcast. His next formal recording doesn't happen in this studio specifically and last time you recall you've garnered specific rights to interrupt him—girlfriend rights and all.

You couldn't help but sheepishly scoff, "Oh I'm not an intern," you respond, feeling the heat rise up your neck a bit before she starts approaching you with a bit of an annoyed gait to her.

Just in time, Chan opens the door to his studio. "Y/N-ah?!" he greets with ample surprise and thrill in his voice.

"Brought you stuff!" you excitedly hold up the things in your hand as the staff member comes to a halt.

"Chan-ssi, you know this woman?" she questions, accusatory with a finger pointed to you. Chan simply chuckles and gently takes the brim of your cap and slide it off your head with utmost care, "She's my girlfriend Kim-ssi, it's all good," he smiles as she drops her jaw in shock.

In all fairness you DID look like a stalker with the cap on.

"Oh my... I'm terribly sorry," she bows before you laugh and wave your hand to dismiss it, "It's alright. I hope you have a good day," you bid before Chan lets you in the studio. "What do I owe the visit to baby? This is such a surprise!" he beams and gives you a bone crushing hug.

"Well that's the goal!" you giddily hug back, relishing in his warmth and scent. You close your eyes, absolutely enamored by his presence.

"Seems like you needed some boyfriend time, yeah?"

"Nuh-uh, other way around," you jokingly frown and scrunch your brows while pulling away from the hug, "You need girlfriend time," you point at his chest before turning to the food you brought, "And something for your stomach,"

He couldn't help but smile fondly at the array of things laid on his table, "Really, thank you baby, I appreciate it so much,"

"I know," you giggle and reach out for his cheeks, cupping them before pressing a sweet kiss on his lips, slow and relishing, "Now go eat first so that I can kiss you silly,"

"Channie!" you shoot off the couch as he jolts up in shock, taking off his earphones before humming and looking at you with concern-laced eyes. But once he sees the excitement on your face, he smiles and chuckles at the message.

"Well," he huffs in amusement, "Finally some of them decided to move,"

"Wanna go out for a walk?" he suggests.

You hum, entertaining the idea before your eyes flit back to the screen of your computer, the spliced chords only staring back at you in ridicule as you hit a very hard slump.

Without any hint of a lie; the recent Dispatch article did pressure you a bit to work harder on your own group's next comeback because you had to have some sort of fallback from all the backlash you were getting. The hate was still relatively tame, but you knew it was going to double over once the real announcement was made.

So yes, you did want to go out for a walk, but you also wanted to keep your ass planted to your chair. You look to Chan who was patiently waiting for your response, miraculously out of his studio and instead stuck in yours. "I think I'll...pass first Channie I gotta get this down first," you mumble against your frown before facing the equipment once more. "I've been watching you for the past two hours," he sighs and takes both arm rests of the swivel chair, pulling it towards him before gently lifting your chin towards his direction—so that you two were eye to eye.

You found, as the relationship progressed, that both yours and Chan's eyes were so expressive, so vulnerable, and it became a reoccurring habit to just look into them with all intent and you'd find the secrets of the world laid inside. Your world, at east.

"What's bothering you?"

"I..." you hesitate, making you sigh and roll your eyes in self-ridicule, "I guess I'm just bracing myself for the fall, is all," you shrug, "I really wanna do it, I'm just a bit scared that if I don't do good on the next album they'd find another way to dogpile on me once our relationship gets out,"

Chan frowns, moving his hands from your chin to your hands, gently ushering you to stand before he guides your legs up against his' so that you're facing him directly, lips so close you could almost taste the Carmex off it. "I'm not about to tell you that you could call it off because you'd punch me," he jokes a bit before caressing the skin on the lower part of your cheek, "But honey I hope you don't start beating yourself up over this, alright? You aren't alone in this," he reassures, almost begs for you to believe in his words. To believe in him.

And you do. You really, really do.

"You'll always have me by your side. If they dogpile on you then I'll do my best to defend you from that," he presses a slight peck on your lips, "I promise,"

A feeling of warmth radiates in your chest, a small yet genuine smile finally making onto your face. The burden on your shoulder wasn't completely gone and washed off, but the assurance of a safety net, of someone to go home too was definitely helping lighten the load. You wanted to say so much, and none of the words were properly coordinating in your head so instead, you just take his hands and push down.

Your lips slot together, properly this time, while your arms find their way around his neck. You both stay pressed, stay so close while your tongues slip and lock together. The warmth of his lips are heavenly against yours, the velvety feel paired with his slick and delectable tongue—you were hooked.

His hands remain steady on your cheeks, calloused thumb gently running on your jaw before both of you have to break away for air. "Thank you, Channie," you manage to breathlessly state as he chuckles and nods, "Now...for that walk?"

Groaning, you throw your head back in exasperation, his hands now on your back to prevent you from falling out of the cramped chair, "Oh come on," you whine before he chuckles.

"Air would do your brain good baby,"

You gasp in feigned disbelief, "Are you implying my brain isn't functioning?!"

"Exactly," he cheekily smiles, "You wanted to do your best didn't you? Go on a walk with me,"

"Ulterior motives are never gone unnoticed you sly fox," you roll your eyes but ultimately concede and get off the chair, immediately grabbing his jacket which was hanging off from the swivel chair.

"Hey," he scolds with no bite to his tone, an amused smile permanently etched on his face, "That's my jacket,"

"Then freeze," you stick your tongue out, childish and petty before he shakes his head, pulling out the extra hoodie he has brought for yourself and slots his fingers through your's, walking hand in hand as the both of you leave the warm comfort of the studio.

"Y/N-ssi," a voice startles you as you jolt up in shock and see a figure emerge from the shadowy corner of the parking lot. "Who the hell are you," your voice doesn't waver in question, ready to set off the staff-specific alarm that could reach the security headquarters of the company.

"Calm down, miss idol, I'm just a journalist," he raises his hands in surrender as he approaches you, while you take a step back in each step he takes forward. "Stay there," you command. "What do you want?" you speak loudly, the distance between you a bit far but not enough to provide you with peace of mind.

He reaches into his pocket and brings out a few pictures, sliding it towards you making it skid on the floor, landing by your foot as you hesitantly look down not even bothering to pick it up. Your heart races a bit. It was quite the picture, and you aren't sure where the hell it was taken but you knew when. "I suppose you can connect that I know who your speculated male idol "friend" is," he starts to speak as you hold the urge to roll your eyes.

"And what exactly are you going to do with this information?" you challenge, raising a brow at him, "Oh the ususal, make sure all of Korea know that you're dating the one and only Bang Chan," he chuckles, "Imagine the noise that'll make,"

'Bingo,' pops into your head, almost unable to hold back your smile. "Go ahead," you shrug, "Let's see who'll be the villains of their stories," you turn your heel to leave the pictures on the floor, rushing to your car as he stands there very speechlessly, dumbfounded to what just happened.

You had faith in your fans. In STAY. And those who would do otherwise weren't fans of yours, nor of Chan's. It'll all be alright, you keep repeating to yourself.

Right after you get the fuck out of the parking lot. You've got some news to tell Chan.

"What?! Did he hurt you?!" his concerned voice rings through your ears as you sigh and lean your arms against the balcony of your apartment, "I'm fine baby, I promise," you assure him, "In hindsight I knew that was dangerous but I lucked out,"

"Lucked out?! You could've called me! Or anyone!"

"I'm fine now Chan, I promise," you run your fingers through your hair, "Although it seems like our number one concern here is when the news would be released,"

Seemingly taking a moment to recollect his bearings, you patiently wait for his response, "Alright, hit me with it,"

"I think he was about to ask me for money, I told him to go on ahead and release the picture," you nervously gnaw on your lower lip, "Should...should we start telling the company heads?"

"We definitely should baby, this is such crucial information," he says with his "leader voice" as you called it—ever so reliable and ever so stern���"And what's more crucial is the fact that you got into a paparazzi altercation alone,"

"Alright, alright, I'll tell them that too," you groan with slight annoyance. Chan loved to dote on you, was overly protective, and the fact that he had a point wasn't sitting well with you given your already prominent anxieties. "I'm not trying to nag! I'm just concerned over the welfare and safety of my girlfriend is that so much to see to?"

"Of course not," your pitch goes a bit higher, a bit whiny. "Of course not, I know you aren't trying to nag," you reiterate a little bit softly now, not wanting to fight with Chan over this.

It seems to placate him too, "Okay, I'll let it go for now too. What matters is that you're safe," he matches your soft tone, "But for the love of god don't ever do that again,"

"Yes, Christopher, I won't," you promise, no ounce of sarcasm or spite in your tone.

"Are you worried?" he asks. And you take a moment to answer. "Yes..."

"Okay. Okay, I'll be right there after my schedules," he in turn also promises, a sigh of relief escaping you because you were starting to get jittery over everything, "I'll have to go. I'll see you later baby,"

"Bye babe," you bid, "I love you,"

"I love you too, my baby,"

"Something tells me you wanted to do it to terrorize Dispatch," you chuck your phone to the side and smile at Chan who simply shrugs his shoulder with a sly smile, "Maybe they'd hate to have us after all,"

"I highly doubt they'd leave us alone," you crawl up the bed and plop yourself down on top of his body, garnering a grunt from the man. "They never really did, haven't they,"

"More on you, less on me baby," he presses his lips together before looking down at you, "Which in itself, is regrettable,"

"You get used to it," you hum and close your eyes, relishing in the warmth of his bare torso, "Thank you, Chris," you start as he hums and starts running his fingers through your hair. "Whatever for baby?"

"Everything," you simply state, opening your eyes again only to see the most sickening, fondest look from Chan. You could feel yourself getting emotional, heartstrings tugged and torn off your chest as the lump in your throat grow heavier. And suddenly you're crying.

"Y/N?" Chan worriedly sits up and wipes off your tears before pressing you further into his body, head cradled in his hand while he soothingly rubs your shoulder on the other, "What's wrong my love why are you crying?" he panics before you let out a wet chuckle, "I'm sorry, I just got...I dunno," you wipe your tears away with a slight feeling of sheepishness in your veins. "I guess I got too happy, like the anxiety from the past 3 months are just starting to go away," you explain to him as a relieved breath escapes him.

"That's good, isn't it?"

"Very," you look up at him with teary and shiny eyes, hoping that all the love threatening to burst at the seams inside you would translate to how you look. And you have a feeling that it does because he gently raises your jaw towards him and presses a tender kiss on your lips, immediately slipping his tongue for entrance as you gladly let him in.

It's short, curt, yet continuous kisses. Departing every half a second only to dive back down, deliciously loving and sweet as both of your breathings fall in sync against the silence of his room, orange and yellow hues from his lights dancing around dimly. It wasn't as magical, but it was comforting, and it was home.

"I love you so much Y/N," he proclaims in a whisper against your lips, like a secret vow as you hum and give him another short peck. "I love you most, Christopher,"

"Nuh-uh,"

"Fuck you mean nuh-uh," you laugh before leaning your head against his shoulder, a sigh of relief and decompression punched out of you. "Comeback season would be so different now,"

"Mhm," he keeps his gentle touches on your shoulder going, rubbing lightly, "The questions about you that I'd love to answer," he grins to himself making you giggle like a giddy school girl.

You both knew there were more of the invasive and inappropriate questions but hey, being an idol is fun when the people around you aren't assholes. Just like a normal 9 to 5.

"Oh the birthday stories I've been waiting to post," you tease, holding up his stash of less flattering pictures over his head as he rolls his eyes, "Oh two can play,"

"I'm photogenic I slay every angle," you retort. "You didn't date me for nothing,"

"Ah boo," he lazily responds before turning to you, "By the way, what if like, magazine outlets start to contact us?"

"Maybe let's wait another year to do activities together," you suggest, "More suspenseful that way,"

"True,"

You prop your hand up his chest and lay on your stomach, facing him, "But If you had to choose which outlet, what would it be?"

"The Korea Herald," he replies before you snort out a laugh, "I guess the Chan is 5 years older, here's what it does to their relationship articles aren't wrong,"

Looking at you scandalized he pinches your side making you let out a yelp. "I'm not that old! I'm just saying it's more reliable than Dispatch!"

"Sure old man," you roll your eyes at him, "I'd wanna do one with Bazaar,"

"With the photoshoot and everything?"

"Hey it isn't so bad to shoot high for power couple status,"

"Are you implying we aren't a power couple now?"

The cameras flash against your eyes as you flinch a bit, about to put a hand over your eyes but Chan beats you to it, one hand over your shades and another on the brim of his cap. The reporters are shouting their questions at you, a little bit overwhelming and deafening but sure as hell your guards are letting them get a little too close.

"Suyin-ah! Does it bother you that Bang Chan is 5 years older?"

"Suyin-ah, if you've been dating for long aren't you guys tired?"

"Bang Chan-ah, out of all the pretty girls in your company why go for LLCE?"

"Bang Chan! Was Baby written for Suyin-ah?"

All invasive, nothing ever good. A grunt escapes you as Chan holds you closer looking down at you in concern while the guards try to make way for the both of you, "You alright there?"

"Never been better," you grimace with sarcasm before hearing a question that piques your interest, partly moving away from Chan to seek out the person who threw that question. "Suyin-ah, don't you think dating as a K-Pop idol is hopeless?"

You reach out, one of the security personnel doing you a favor to hand you the small mic of the journalist before pressing it near to your face, "I don't think so. Because at the end of the day Chan and I love our fans just the same, sharing our personal lives won't change that," you reason out, "Both of us would still continue to make music for our fans and cherish them all," you answer, short and profound before you could hear Chan's voice call out to you, finally able to form a path towards your building.

"Honey! Are you coming?" he shouts through the shouting crowds of reporters. You immediately step back, hurriedly heading to his direction, slipping your hands together before walking into the company hand in hand.

"What'd you say?" he questions once the glass doors close. You strip off your mask and beam up at him cheekily, "You'll see,"

i took the liberty of giving Y/N a stage name for the sake of making the tweets a bit more comprehensive. Suyin is derived from S/N, which is stage name. i just added a few more letters to it.

[cleolinda]

My sister noticed

Previously on: I grew up in a haunted house and I didn't notice: So I told you a story about how a Count Chocula used to creep behind me at night when I was a child, and I described my very weird childhood home to you. I told you how my sister had Something Dark living in her bedroom, and I told you about the time she and I compared notes and realized that we also had the ghost of a young woman in the house. Maybe.

I asked my sister to read over the draft for me, maybe gather up the fortitude to fill in some details, and she texted back, "Oh, I'll tell you anything you want. But that’s not how it happened."

I am willing to believe her version for two reasons:

1) My memory has been shit after having covid umpteen thousand times.

2) I actually remember her version of the conversation we had, now that it's in front of me.

I also remember my version, is the thing—the one where I told her about Rebecca when we were younger. And that raises some questions about how independent, how uncompromised, our experiences were. But I think those questions are themselves the story. Can I trust my memory at all? I had such bad brain fog the first time I had covid that I could not remember how to scramble eggs. A lot of things are just mist to me now. There's what I remember and there's what actually happened, but what do I even remember? And that's before you even get into the idea that we're talking about ghosts we "felt" in the house. We saw no apparitions, no shadows, no odd movements.

This is not a story where I'm asking you to believe me.

There are things you experience, and things that happen. An example from the winter of 2016:

What I experienced was standing out on our deck one night and looking up at the stars. They were moving in a slight swirl motion, not unlike the painting Starry Night. I turned to my mom and said, "Well, the stars are moving, so if the world ends or something any time soon, here's our first sign." She stared at me.

What happened was, our upstairs heating unit had a leak, and I sustained mild carbon monoxide poisoning. (I like rooms to be cool, so I had used the heater less than most people would, at least.) This was only discovered during a routine furnace check, after my vision had been a little weird and I had been deeply fatigued for two or three months. I have had a CO monitor upstairs ever since.

Did I see the stars swirling? Yes. Were they? No. That's the distinction I want you to make while I tell you all this. Did my sister and I experience things? Yes. Do I know what happened? No.

So what I agree happened was, we were having Grownup Sunday Family Dinner a few years back, maybe 2019 or so. I had been really into Buzzfeed Unsolved, which later evolved into Watcher Entertainment, but my sister was refusing to watch any of it. She's a big fan now, but she only started watching the guys last year. Yesterday, we tried to piece this back together via text.

My sister ["MS" from here on out]: Like I feel like off and on for years you mentioned [Shane and Ryan's shows] and I refused

MS: And one day my argument was to talk about our own house

Me [let's go with Cleolinda Jones, "CJ"]: You said you felt like fake ghost shows were disrespectful to people who actually experienced [hauntings].

MS: YES I FEEL LIKE THAT WAS THE CONVO

I love paranormal investigation shows, whether they're patently fake or not, as long as I enjoy the people investigating, so I couldn't understand why they personally offended her. Pulling at this thread back in 2019 is how the the whole ghost story started coming out.

CJ: And I was like, okay, but here’s one show where they get, like, nothing, but I can promise you that it's real

(Because the Unsolved/Watcher shows pair a believer with an actual skeptic who still, lo these many years later, does not believe in any of it. I truly believe Shane and Ryan would not stage "evidence," for that reason. Shane makes fun of ghosts and people who believe in them, but he's honest about it, and my sister likes that.)

At this point, we go back to the first version of the story that I posted: my sister had told me that Something had lived in the Four Closets Bedroom with her when she was a preteen/early teenager. It felt very dark, very bad, and she had not told anyone else about it until that dinner. The way I relayed it to you, Dear Reader, was that she hadn't wanted to go into detail, and I wasn't sure what it looked like, or if it "lived" in the little witch closet, or what. That night at dinner, I had gone on to tell her that, you know, now that you mention it, I did feel like something used to follow me up there at night. And this was when "My sister started crying. Like just staring at me in wide-eyed horror, her eyes filling with tears" had come in.

1. Something Dark

CJ: So you were telling me about our house being haunted. Something in your room. How would you describe it?

MS: I think it more lived in the attic

(our pal the dark fucked-up attic room)

MS: but would roam the entire floor so I felt it in the peach room [my (Cleo's) old bedroom and then later, my sister's] but more so in [the Four Closets Bedroom] as it was closer to the attic

MS: The best way I can describe it is just never feeling like I was alone. Feeling like something was always behind me. But I refused to turn around to look. It felt like a darkness that almost oozed behind you in a way that was almost suffocating.

CJ: What I find interesting is that we both describe it as Just Feelings, and never feeling alone.

My sister texted me at this point that she used to sense Something upstairs whether it was day or night; "even in the day, it didn't feel safe." But night was worse.

MS: There was one night in 3rd grade when I was reading and had like my first panic attack because I was newer to living upstairs and I felt it come in the room at night for the first time

MS: I also used to feel compelled to keep the AC running all night like it was never cold enough.

Here's the weird thing: when we moved to the house where I currently live and our rooms were on the same floor, we always fought over the thermostat. My sister hated her bedroom being too cool, whereas I get hot. I remember one night, we were arguing over it, and she was weirdly on the verge of tears: "Why do you have to have it so cold?" In 2023, my sister texted me at this point that she didn't want our childhood home to be cold; it was like the thing wanted that temperature, even if she hated it.

You often hear that ghosts make rooms cold, that's a big ghost hunter show thing—but whatever was up there couldn't lower the temperature on its own?

CJ: "If you can’t make it cold yourself, storebought is fine"

CJ: And you don’t have a visual impression of it, I’m not just blowing past that?

MS: I refused. REFUSED to look. Ever. For any reason.

CJ: I did too, so that’s interesting

CJ: I describe it as a Count Chocula, which should tell you how much it didn’t bother me. Which I find weird

(Truly, there is a reason I titled that post "I grew up in a haunted house and I didn't notice.")

MS: I can’t tell if it was truly terrifying. Or if the amount of data I was getting from it was just so overwhelming that that alone was terrifying to a child. I wish I could answer that now.

CJ: Yeah, in some way I think we’re saying the same thing. I was seven years old and I couldn’t comprehend what it was, either, so I just imagined a silly vampire

CJ: like I can’t overstate how cartoonish it seemed to me at the time, while still being very DON’T LOOK BACK

Part of the problem, she added, was that she felt compelled to go turn down the air conditioning... and the thermostat was next to the (carpeted. shag carpeted) bathroom. And then she had to race back to her bedroom... the same way I used to, as quick as she could.

MS: I also felt like I could NOT run. Like the way you shouldn’t run away from a mountain lion. It would create the need for it to chase me.

MS: What is so strange is that [learning about paranormal investigation] has not changed my perception of my experience in the slightest. Whether that’s the reality or not. It is still something I find dark and terrifying.

CJ: I think you would answer this differently now than you did then: what do you think it was?

We discussed this by text for a while. I mentioned being intrigued that Something Dark wanted to be cold (but apparently was not able to make the room cold). My sister—having agreed to be quoted here—said, "I kinda hope to avoid someone being like 'you had a demon in your house,'" as she doesn't really feel like that's what it was. Her gut feeling (and, bear in mind, we are working off nothing but feelings here) is that it was a spirit or ghost: something formerly human. We agree that it seemed male in some way (again: a Chocula).

And you're probably thinking, This is total bullshit. And it probably is! I'm not claiming any of this to be real evidence! I just find it interesting that we somehow came up with the same bullshit.

CJ: It just fascinates me that I did not experience 90% of this, and yet I got a strong enough whiff of it that I’m like, yeah, I can see it

But what about the female presence, the one I went off to color with in the middle of the night?

2. Rebecca

MS: I didn’t find out you had done the ouija board until we were adults. You didn’t tell me when we were kids

MS: That’s why I was SO shocked when we talked at the dinner table.

See, I was convinced that I had told her about my ouija adventures when I was a teenager, and "What about Rebecca??" flowed really well in the first post. That conversation was already a bit fictionalized in order to condense it from what I remembered—that's how memoirs work, really, unless you have actual transcripts of your life and room to include them. You're telling a story. I thought I was telling a condensed version of a true story. And yet, I do remember how shocked my sister was at dinner that night. And she would have only been seven or eight when I was messing around with that shit. Those two things do support the idea that I wouldn't have told her.

MS: You did tell me skeletons lived in my closet tho

I told you I was kind of a shit.

CJ: when I told you about Rebecca, what was your reaction?

MS: That’s when I went white. Bc I realized we had had a similar experience and I wasn’t just crazy

CJ: The thing is, I WOULD HAVE SWORN I had told you about Rebecca when we were younger

MS: If you did you didn’t name her and that’s why it was nuts when I realized 2 decades later we pulled the same name and we both remembered it.

We did it again, too—I posted briefly about putting this whole saga together, and how my sister asked me to give the ghost a pseudonym (ghosts deserve privacy too). And in trying to think of a good replacement, we both came up with "Rebecca."

CJ: so how did you know the [original] name?

MS: Ouija board with [best friend, redacted] in the playroom when I was like 13. She cried the whole time. We both thought the other was moving [the planchette].

You'll remember the weird, windowless, sky-blue playroom with the scary door from the previous post.

MS: But she was crying so she wouldn’t have been. And I would have never pulled out the name [Not Actually Rebecca]

MS: There was part of me that wonders if I did it but I would have NEVER chosen Rebecca

CJ: So did I bring Rebecca up first in this conversation [at dinner in 2019], or did you? I did?

MS: You said it first. I would have never [told you first] cuz I would have thought you were placating me. Like I’d never really know if you weren’t just agreeing with me

And that's when my sister had "stared at me, saucer-eyed, pale. Like I'm not sure I had ever seen anyone 'go white' until that moment." And I had told her about getting up at midnight and going to color in the weird playroom, and someone else being in there with me, no big deal.

After all this discussion, we do think that Rebecca was briefly my "imaginary friend," but our mom told me to stop talking about that. Not because our mom was spooked, but because she felt like it was rude for me to talk about someone I was presumably making up in front of company. So that stopped. Thinking back on it, I just felt like someone was sitting next to me on the couch. I didn't feel anyone next to me; when I looked, I felt like I could see where... someone was not? The space that someone invisible was taking up? It felt like something reasonably friendly. "Chill" is the word I keep using. Not super eager or possessive, just like a girl who was a bit older, maybe a teenager, a babysitter age, who liked me well enough. There was some dark shit in the attic, apparently—it did feel very oppressive in there—but I would get a sense that a metaphorical desk lamp had been turned on. A presence that stayed back, relaxed, but emanated "hey, I'm here."

What my sister and I agreed on was that we remembered how these "feelings" were both vague and memorable. I can't remember events or chronology accurately, but I remember the actual sensations and presences very, very clearly. They resist reinterpretation. I can't sit here and say, "Oh, Rebecca was totally a guardian angel, I see that now." The Something Dark sounds functionally demonic, but my sister doesn't feel like that's accurate. (If anything, she gets a sense that this could have been a malicious uncle—not father—of some kind to Rebecca, if the two beings were related: particular in their vagueness.) These two presences just... were. My sister says she primarily sensed Rebecca outdoors in our backyard, when we were pretending (were we?) to play with fairies. I didn't sense Rebecca there—but then, I wasn't aware that what I sensed was a someone, not for another thirty years or so. My oblivious ass was up at midnight filling in my She-Ra coloring book with a ghost like, "Yeah, I'm alone in the dark for no reason, this is normal." It's only in retrospect that I recognize atmospheric feelings as things that actually took up space, and I don't know how I didn't see it at the time. I can't explain that, and I can't ask you to believe it. All I know is that my sister still feels very traumatized by her experience of it—and I can't explain why I don't.

I think one of the reasons paranormal investigation shows don't scare me a whole lot is because so much of the "evidence" is random knocks and creaks and movements and vibes, and I'm like, yeah, I've lived in two houses now like that. The door of my current bedroom opens and closes on its own all the time. It's probably a draft from the ventilation system (which does not have CO leaks anymore) (probably). I've seen something at this house that a lot of people might call a shadow person, but I was probably imagining it. So many of these ghost shows just have things that I grew up with and didn't even think a whole lot of at the time; I seem to be protected by a +3 Sphere of Sure, That's Fine. Is my current house also haunted? I honestly don't know. Would I notice if it was?

[miradelletarot]

Sad brain hours are stupid

Personal post alert. Just me kinda mumbling my random sad brain thoughts into the void, and hope something make sense (or at least helps me get this shit out of my head idk).

*note: this is all over the fucking place so...sorry.* My confidence is pretty low lately. I mean, it always has been honestly. I was raised to have a low self-esteem (just like my mother, who also had self-esteem issues, and projected a lot of her shit onto me). So, I have never ever really been confident. In my marriage, I can't recall a time when my husband truly made me feel sexy/desirable (unless he wanted something from me...you know what I'm talking about). Even mentally and emotionally, I'm really not that smart. I'm not witty, or quick, or brilliant in any way, and my anxiety and depression and ADHD make shit hard enough to cope with as it is. I struggled in school. Mostly an A & B student, but I had to bust my ass for those grades. Not to mention my horrible memory...I'm lucky I know basic grade school shit. I have no illusions that there is anything remotely spectacular about me. I think that's why I love supporting and helping others. Especially with tarot. It's my way of trying to help lift people up, and make them feel good about themselves, and their prospects because *someone* needs to be in your corner (general "you"). It's just easier to give my love to others, because I'd rather use my energy to celebrate the people I care about. Lately, I am really just feeling so down about my body. More than I have in a while. I think I've ignored it for so long because I was married. He stopped putting in effort and so did I. I had no one to impress anymore. But, despite him completely letting himself go (he's well over 400lbs now, and does NOT take care of himself in the slightest,) he said he was no longer attracted to me. (this will make sense in a moment...promise).

in 2018, I had a weird ass health scare that landed me in the hospital for a week, and the nurse said I nearly died of sepsis. Her words were (and I'll never fucking forget it...) "if you had waited even until tonight to come to the ER, there's a good chance you wouldn't have made it." Drs still dunno what the fuck happened to me. Ever since that happened, my thyroid went stupid (thanks again, MOTHER...) and I gained a ton of weight. I have always been on the heavier side (180lbs when I got married 16 yrs ago. I'm 5 ft tall for context). Now, I'm 243 lbs. I was 265, but I lost a lot of that stress weight after I left my husband. So, that's certainly something.

But...I just don't see the improvement. i don't feel any better. I have such a horrible relationship with exercise, and i am working so fucking much I don't even want to even though I know I should. I hate wearing makeup b/c of how it makes my face feel, and in the Florida, soul-sucking heat? I could never. But, I still have breakouts like a fucking teenager going through puberty. and my hair? fuck. i hate it. it's a poofy, frizzy mop. ALSO...fucking hell. I have had a slight lisp since i was a kid. I worked really hard to correct it b/c i was in choir and shit and my music teacher helped me with it, but recently i find that it's a lot more prominent than it used to be, and it sticks out to me SO fucking much, and i feel so insecure about it lately.

It's time's like these when something my ex said to me before i left really sticks in my head (he apologized for saying this btw, but it doesn't make the pain go away). He said "you'll never find anyone as good as me." I really want to believe he's wrong, but sometimes? It feels like he's right. Like I'll never be pretty or thin enough to be desirable to anyone. Too much depression and anxiety. Too weird. Too vulgar. Just...Too much, and oddly not enough at the same time. Even though it's only been 6 months since I left him I am fucking lonely. I won't lie, I miss having a partner (and all that entails). I'm so afraid I'll be alone forever. If I lower my standards, I'll just get some shitty asshole again. Someone just like my ex. I'm too fucking old to date around like I'm in my 20s. I'm pushing 40. I'm either going to find the man of my dreams (the Gale of my heart, a real one lol) or I'll be forever alone.

I'm in hell...and it looks like a pixelated paradise.

[lilyevanstan1325]

❤️ Built For This World ❤️

Chapter 12

The sun slowly lowers behind the hills, painting the sky in shades of gold and orange.

After Rick's heartbreaking words for Amy, I took refuge in a corner of the farm, away from curious eyes and the dangers that lurk outside.

My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, and the setting sun only seems to amplify them.

Amy's death.

The memory of the young girl, with her wide eyes and pale face, haunts me.

She has seen too much, she has experienced too little.

I continually wonder what could have happened, what brought that walker so close to all of us.

And now I only feel fear, a fear that tightens my heart.

The fear of protecting.

It's a mixed feeling.

On one hand, I want to keep the people I love safe, but on the other, I know that every protective gesture carries a risk.

Amy's death is proof of this.

We tried to protect ourselves, all of us, relentlessly.

Nevertheless.

And then there's him in my thoughts.

Always.

As much as I want to ignore it, he is there.

Negan.

The man I loved and hated equally.

Before the apocalypse, he had been a different man.

He was good, sweet.

Now, he isn't anymore.

His soul has become darker, wilder.

I often wonder if deep down in his heart he is still him, if that sweet and altruistic man still exists, or if the horror of the world has simply transformed him.

Or maybe it transformed us both.

And then there was the pain.

The pain is always there.

The pain is linked to his name.

The pain is linked to his scent.

The pain is linked to his raspy voice.

The pain of having to run away from him, leaving him behind.

I had hoped that time and distance would dull that pain, but every night when I close my eyes, I still feel it.

I hear his voice.

I feel his caresses.

I still feel my love for him.

Every time it's like a fucking knife in my heart.

I hug my knees to my chest, looking blankly at the foliage of the trees moved by the wind, I watch the sun disappear completely behind the hills.

I know I still have a lot to face, but right now, I just want to let go of sadness and nostalgia.

The world has changed, and I with it.

I don't know if it's good or bad but I know I'm no longer the person I was.

Everything has changed in me, even the way I perceive the world.

I can no longer see its beauty.

Now every corner is covered in dark shadows, shadows that hide threats.

Nothing seems purer to me.

I would just like to go back and see the beauty.

That's all I ask.

Light footsteps behind me distract me from my thoughts.

I look over my shoulder and with his head down I see Carl come towards me.

“Hey, buddy.What's up?What are you doing, wandering around by yourself?It's starting to get dark, it's not safe” I ask trying to hide the tremor in my voice.

I lower my legs, crossing them and tapping my hand on the ground next to me, I invite the boy to keep me company.

Carl sits next to me and we are silent for a few minutes.

Small points of light begin to appear in the sky.

Another night in this broken world.

Carl sighs as he hugs his knees to his chest.

I give him a slight shove trying to catch his gaze with mine.

“Hey!You know you can talk to me” I whisper, focusing my attention on his small sad face.

I saw how he cried during Amy's funeral, he must be really upset.

His young mind, still too immature, is finding itself fighting against demons bigger than him.

No human being, let alone a child, should ever find themselves entangled in this shit.

“If… if I told you a secret could you promise not to tell my parents?”

Instinctively I would like to accept his plea but I know I can't.

His eyes, blue as the sea, focus on mine and he already knows that I won't be able to keep this promise.

The boy immediately lowers his gaze.

I dig in my mind looking for the most suitable words.

I raise my hand, bringing it to his head and taking off his father's hat.

I turning it between my fingers for a few seconds and then placing it on my head.

Carl looks at me and lets out a soft laugh.

I smile with him.

“I can't promise you but I can promise I'll help you, okay?”

My compromise seems to convince him.

He puts his hand in his pocket and after a few moments he takes out a gun which he hands to me with a trembling hand.

“I took it from Daryl's motorcycle.If he found out I took it, he'll kill me”

I turn the gun in my hands, returning my gaze to the boy.

“What are you doing with this?” I ask him trying to keep a calm tone.

I don't want to scare him or even scold him.

I just want to understand why he did it.

His behavior has been strange lately.

I saw very little of the sweet and kind little boy I was told about.

Instead, I saw a boy incite his father to kill another human being.

A boy who stole a gun for what reason only God knows.

“Amy” he whispers looking straight ahead, “It's my fault that she died”

For a moment I don't know what to answer.

Thousands of thoughts and scenarios chase each other in my mind but none of them guide me towards a plausible solution.

“Carl” I murmur, squeezing his shoulder with my hand, “Why would you say that, buddy.She got bit by a walker.Why you say…”

“I saw that walker” he interrupts me.

His eyes clouded by tears move from his hands towards the sky.

A single tear rolls down his face.

My heart breaks at his pain.

“I was gonna shoot it.It was stuck in the mud.I was…I was throwing rocks at it and stuff ” the boy sniffs, his eyes still turned to the sky, “But I was gonna do it…shoot it right in the head.And it…it got free, came after me and…I ran away” Carl sobs.

A little sob that rumbles in my head like thunder.

I wrap my arm around his slender shoulders, pressing my lips to the top of his head.

“If I had killed it, Amy would still be here” he adds, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

I drop the gun onto the grass next to me so I can hold this little man against my chest.

His tears wet my shirt but I couldn't care less.

Now my priority is his well-being.

“Carl, stop that.Please.This ain't your fault, okay?”

His arms close delicately around my hips while his back shakes with small jolts.

My right hand presses the back of his neck while the other slides delicately along his back, small caresses in an attempt to soothe his pain.

I let him vent everything he's been holding painfully inside trying to make him understand that I'm here for him.

I move away from the hug just enough to be able to look him in the eyes.

I hold his face between my hands and with the tips of my thumbs I dry the tears that continue to flow relentlessly from his sweet red eyes.

“Listen to me Carl.As long as I'm around, I always protect you.Me, your father, your mother and everyone else will always protect you.What happened is not your fault.It could have happened to anyone and I swear to you, I swear to God, that I would have given my soul to be in your place, to not see you like this now”

His lower lip trembles and new tears slide down his face, still so young and innocent.

I stand up offering him a hand inviting him to stand up too.

He gets up hesitantly.

His eyes full of remorse and fear watch me as I bend down to pick up Daryl's gun and tuck it into the waistband of my jeans.

“I'll take care of this” I reassure him, giving him back his father's hat, “Don't worry about Daryl, I promise he won't tell you anything”

Carl smiles shyly but his smile fades as soon as he notices my serious look.

“And...I won't say anything to your mom but I will talk to Rick.Maybe I could convince him to teach you how to use it so that you can protect yourself if you were in danger and none of us were there with you”

At my words Carl takes a few steps back.

He shakes his head violently from side to side.

“I will never touch a gun again”

“You know this is not possible.As much as we all want to, we can't do it.We can't hide forever, Carl.We have to fight.You have to learn to fight.The world has changed and if we don't change with it...”

But the boy seems determined and, shaking his head again, he turns his back on me and walks away, leaving me perplexed.

I don't even try to stop him.

At this moment a storm beyond my understanding is stirring in his heart and it is not up to me to help him so with a heart full of worries I go in search of Rick.

Along my way, however, I spot Daryl.

He is sitting in front of a small fire, near what has now become our tent, while he smokes a cigarette.

I approach coming up behind him, surprised that he didn't hear me.

His hunter's hearing is always alert but at this moment his mind seems not to be there.

The surprise in my eyes is replaced by horror as I see him press the flaming tip of his cigarette into the flesh of his hand.

A barely audible hiss escapes his lips.

My eyes immediately fill with tears as my hand in a completely automatic gesture moves up my thigh, caressing the flesh through the hard fabric of my jeans.

I know what he's doing.

I know what he's feeling.

With extreme delicacy I place a hand on his shoulder.

The archer flinches violently.

The now consumed cigarette slips from his fingers.

Without speaking I stand in front of him and offer him my hand.

The man observes it for a few moments then his eyes lift up to find mine only for a moment then his gaze shift to the fire and in their reflection I can read the shame he feels at having been caught in a moment of weakness.

I try to impress in my gaze all the tenderness and all the understanding that I can find in my torn heart.

Daryl looks up again.

“I don't wan’ yer pity” he spits between his teeth.

I smile sadly.

It's not my pity I'm offering him and I want him to understand that.

“Take my hand, big boy” I murmur softly.

The tremble in my voice makes him look at my hand that is still outstretched and motionless in front of him.

After moments in which he doesn't stop studying my gaze he grabs my hand and lets himself be dragged away from the fire.

In the silence of the evening I drag him towards the tent, inviting him with my gaze to enter.

“Sit down, please”

The man obeys me as if in this moment he was devoid of any will.

Trusting me blindly.

And this does nothing but fill my heart with a sweet, almost forgotten feeling.

Trying to tame the nervousness that grips my guts, I grab the lamp and lit it on, positioning it near my feet so that it can illuminate my figure well.

I feel sweat beading on my forehead and with trembling hands I reach for the button on my jeans, open it and pull down the zip.

Daryl looks at me with panic in his eyes.

His pupils move quickly from one side of the tent to the other as he slides away from me, pressing his back against the wall of the tent behind him.

I sigh deeply, gathering all the courage I have and with a fluid and decisive movement I lower my jeans to my ankles.

The archer, taken aback by my gesture, turns his head to the side, bringing a hand in front of his face.

I can see the blush spreading from his neck.

“Wha’ the hell are ya doing, woman?” he hisses through his teeth.

His tense shoulders tell me that the man is very uncomfortable but that can't stop me.

It can't stop me.

He must know.

He has to understand that I can understand him.

That I know what he was doing and why.

“Daryl” I call him softly, “Please look at me”

My plea veiled with barely held back tears makes him move his large hand from his face.

His embarrassed cheeks are a stab to my heart.

Behind his tough exterior there is a shy man full of insecurities.

Slowly the archer's eyes reopen and with equally exhausting slowness they rest on my face.

“Look at me” I repeat, lowering my hand towards my thighs.

The tip of my finger instantly feels the unevenness of the skin beneath it sending a jolt of pain to my heart.

The memory is alive again.

His gaze follows my hand and the moment his eyes fall on my bare legs his expression changes.

Now he knows.

And I have never felt so naked in my life.

But this isn't physical nudity…

Daryl is seeing my soul.

My true soul.

He is seeing a part of me that no one knows.

Nobody.

His uncertain and cautious hand rests on my thigh.

His calloused fingers move feather-light over the old scars.

Lots of little cuts that adorn my skin like stars adorn the night sky.

I stare at the tent ceiling unable to hold his gaze as the words float painfully from my lips.

“I had no other way to vent my pain.I didn't want others to see my pain.This was the only part of my body that no one could ever see”

When the nights at the Sanctuary seemed endless and the pain was too excruciating, it seemed like the only possible solution.

Sitting on my bed, with my father's knife in my hands, I cut into the flesh of my thighs.

Every cut eased the pressure on my heart.

Every cut expanded my lungs as I felt suffocated.

Every cut made me feel alive.

Every cut silenced the voices screaming in my head.

The man's strong hands grip the flesh behind my thighs, just under the curve of my ass, his face buried between them.

But as intimate as it may seem, there is nothing sexual in his gesture.

Only sweetness and pain.

His lips touch every little scar starting from my knee to my right hip, near the elastic of my underwear.

I dig my hands into his hair, in that portion of skin the contact of his lips makes me hiss in pain.

The skin is still red there.

“This is the last one.I did it after I have killed that man down town” I admit, full of shame.

It had been a while since the last time.

But the desperation for my action brought me back to falling into my old and unhealthy habits.

Daryl grabs my jeans and gently lifts them up by buttoning them and zipping them up, then standing up he crushes me in his arms.

I bury my face in his chest cradling myself in his strong grip.

His scent soothing my soul.

“I know what you're feeling.I won't pretend to believe that thanks to me you won't do it again...but...but...I want you to know that I'm here with you.I'm here for you.I always have your back, big boy”

He hugs me even more forcefully.

His face is pressed against my neck, my hair is a dark curtain in which he hides his gaze which I know for a fact is as anguished as mine the moment I saw that cigarette sizzle against the flesh of his hand.

With a disarming delicacy his hands wrap themselves in a strong but gentle grip around my cheeks and immediately my lips are on his.

I don't know if it's the right thing to do but I know for a fact that words would be superfluous at this moment.

Gently we slide towards the ground.

His lips kiss every part of my face.

Reserving reverential attention to my lips.

His tongue slides velvety between my lips, colliding with mine, intertwining in a sensual dance, which smells of tobacco, which in its silence keeps solemn promises.

I am here.

You are here.

I'm your.

I'm yours.

Together we can.

My hands move to the back of his neck, scratching his skin.

His bold fingers grip the flesh of my hips, inviting me, with the weight of his powerful body, to lie beneath him.

In its will, my legs widen, allowing his narrow and sensual hips to find space between them and then wrap around his waist, pressing my ankles against his buttocks and involuntarily pushing him towards my pulsating core.

The contact of his bulge against my most sensitive part makes me pant in ecstasy and the man full of new audacity pushes his hips against mine again, earning another obscene moan from me.

His warm, sinful lips slide towards my collarbone as he tries to move the fabric covering my breasts with his hungry teeth.

His greed makes me chuckle and, helping him in his intent, I grab the hem of my shirt, pulling it off my head, remaining in front of his eyes with only a simple black bra.

The worn fabric makes me blush thinking about how I am not such a sensual sight in the end but his words erase all my worries.

“So beautiful, ’ma sunshine” burying his face in the hollow between my breasts, his words sound almost like a growl.

He peppers my skin with sloppy kisses while his fingers creep under my back, arched with pleasure, searching for the hook of my bra.

As soon as he finds it he tugs on it trying to unhook it and when he succeeds a guttural sound scrapes his throat making me roll my eyes in ecstasy.

Always with the help of his teeth he lowers one strap and then the other without ever stopping kissing every new corner of exposed skin.

With a trembling hand, between anxiety and pleasure, I grab the bra and throw it behind me.

The look of wonder in Daryl's eyes sets me on fire.

And I swear I could cum here and now just because of the way his gaze burns on my skin.

I lift my hips looking for friction that will give me relief, trembling at the moment of the contact.

He envelops a breast in his large rough hand, massaging it delicately while he welcomes the turgid nipple between his wet and lustful lips.

His tongue swirls around it sending jolts of pure pleasure through every nerve endings in my body.

The moans rolling from my lips are now uncontrollable.

Unstoppable.

My hands move aimlessly as they wander along his broad back, curious fingers exploring unfamiliar skin that slowly find their way beneath the shirt that envelops that solid yet supple body.

Insecure but eager, I push the vest off his shoulders which slowly sags over my shirt which lies next to us.

But I feel like it's still not enough.

I want to feel the sensation of my skin against his.

With inexperienced fingers I undo the first button which slips unhindered from his buttonhole.

And I continue until my fingers graze the metal of his buckle's belt.

Daryl's mouth releases my nipple with a loud, wet pop, a long string of saliva stretching until it slides down his chin.

Raising my shoulders I push my face towards him, licking his neck, starting from the Adam's apple that bobs up and down as I pass, until I reach his chin, collecting the saliva that lies on it with a moan of sweet appreciation.

Daryl's lips capture mine again in a panting, lust-filled kiss.

Stroking the skin of his neck I can feel every vein under my fingers, veins where the blood pumps furiously.

My hands continue their way until they reach his shoulders.

When I try to slide his shirt along them the man stiffens, breaking the kiss.

His pupils are so dilated with pleasure that they almost completely swallow the blue but in all that chaos I can sense his panic.

“Hey” I whisper bringing my hands to his face again, gently caressing his tense features, “We can stop whenever you want” I whisper trying to regulate my breathing.

The archer seems conflicted.

In his eyes, in the hard lines of his jaw, something stirs.

“No.No.I just…” he murmurs almost embarrassed, “I want to take it” he whispers, shrugging his shoulders and putting the shirt back to cover them.

His request, which sounds like a small plea, shocks me but I accept it knowing that I could never do anything that could embarrass him.

I want Daryl to feel comfortable with me and I would never force him to do anything that would disturb his precarious balance.

“Alright.That's ok, babe” I smile sweetly kissing his forehead as I close a couple of buttons on his shirt covering his body.

Daryl nods once and then he kisses me again.

This time his lips are more delicate.

After exploring every cavity of my mouth he continues his way along the line of my jaw, moving down towards my neck and sucking forcefully on the delicate skin behind my ear.

“Daryl” I gasp, burying my hands in his hair.

In response he continues his sensual descent, kissing the incandescent skin of my body, in a long trail of lust that reaches my navel with unnerving slowness.

One last delicate kiss and then his eyes are back in mine, silently asking me for permission to go further.

And I cannot deny him that permission.

I nod, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip and lifting my hips to facilitate his movements.

Daryl, with a concentrated look, unbutton my jeans, sliding them down my legs.

His lips touch every millimeter of exposed skin.

His gestures are shy, full of exasperating sweetness.

I clumsily kick off my boots so he can completely slide off the jeans.

My chest rises and falls furiously as Daryl remains kneeling by my feet, completely still, staring at me.

I feel like my heart might explode in my chest.

The man I have in front of my eyes seems like a god painted by the most skilled of artists.

The dim light of the lamp creates seductive shadows on his face.

A few small scars cross it but my gaze is drawn inexorably towards the bulge in his pants.

His shaft presses angrily against the fabric of his jeans and my mouth salivates at the thought of having it inside me.

To be able to feel him.

Daryl reaching down grabs my ankle, lifting it and bringing it to his lips, leaving a delicate kiss on it.

His lips greedily travel up the calf until they reach the thigh where he dedicates all his attention to kissing every single scar.

His tongue explores everything that can be explored.

He lowers himself onto my body again, accompanying my leg with his hand and wrapping it around his hips.

And I let myself be manhandled.

His elbows rest on either side of my face as he nuzzles the tip of his nose against mine and then kisses my forehead.

“I have no idea wha’ the hell I'm doing, sunshine” he whispers, his embarrassed eyes in mine.

His hands gently move a few strands of hair away from my face.

And despite the excitement of the moment I can't help but smile sweetly at the man in front of me.

A man so strong and brave yet so lost.

“You're perfect, Daryl” I whisper, kissing him again.

With much more audacity I grab one of his hands, kissing the tip of each fingertips and then capture two of them between my lips, swirling my tongue around them.

He moans, a hollow, guttural sound rising from deep in his chest, his hips pressing into me again.

A shiver shakes him.

Now, free from my jeans, the friction of his shaft on my fold, still covered by the now soaked fabric of my panties is even more real.

Through his jeans I can perceive all of him…

And damn!

He looks so big.

With my eyes and mind in ecstasy I release his fingers from my lips and decisively guide his hand lower and lower, beyond the hem of my panties.

His hand is so warm...and so big that his palm can wrap my entire mound.

His digit slides along my wet fold and then it splits me open wetting in my arousals.

I cry out his name.

He grunts and slowly sinks his finger into me.

Moving slowly, almost fearfully, his thumb finds my clit and begins to caress it with small circular movements.

In response my hips lift to meet his too gentle movements, seeking something more.

Daryl grunts again, taking hold of my mouth and kissing me like his life depends on it.

“More, babe.Please more” I whine against his lips, rocking my hips.

The archer adds another finger, digging them both to the knuckles.

This time with more force.

His thumb moves more firmly against my little bundle of nerves, making me see little stars of white light behind my closed eyelids.

Daryl buries his face in the crook of my neck, almost roaring as his fingers pound into me forcefully, curving up and touching that magical spongy spot that can make my toes curl.

The leg around his waist tightens its grip, pressing the heel forcefully against his lower back while the other, which until a few seconds ago was resting on the hard ground, now lifts slightly in a spasm of pleasure.

I plant the sole of my foot on the ground to find a foothold to meet the almost furious push of the man's fingers which now work with precision and lust.

My fingers wrap around the wild, messy strands of his hair, pulling them forcefully from the root, his teeth sinking into the delicate skin of my neck.

Daryl is marking my skin mercilessly and the thought of the others seeing how much I belong to him pushes me even further towards the edge.

I try to stifle the scream of pleasure that erupts from my lips by burying my face in his hair.

“Please don't stop.Please.Right there, Daryl”

He lifts up, his stormy gaze passes along my face now distorted by pleasure, then moving to my breasts which continue to bounce with each thrust of his fingers and then finally stopping on my pussy.

His dilated pupils move quickly following the movement of his hand, watching as his fingers disappear inside me with each thrust, stealing one moan at a time until my throat is parched.

A pleasant sensation spreads in my lower abdomen, clouding all my logical thoughts.

My eyes roll inside my skull, closing again in a fog of pure enjoyment.

“Look at me, sunshine”

In that thick fog his voice brings me back to the surface and my eyes slowly open on his powerful figure.

The muscles of his abdomen contract as if spasms of pleasure were tearing at his very body.

His biceps swell with every movement as he furiously pumps his fingers into me.

A spark shines in his gaze and after a few moments his broad shoulders lower towards my core.

A light-as-air hand moves my panties to the side and the rustic, calloused touch of his thumb on my clit is replaced by something warmer.

More delicate.

His tongue.

The scream that rolls off my lips is impossible to stop.

“Oh fuck, babe” I moan loudly, digging my fingers into the sleeping bag beneath my body.

The archer's tongue moves divinely as if this man had done nothing else all his life.

Delicate and moist caresses that take me over the edge.

His velvety muscle moves on my clit as if he were writing his name adorning it with lustful squiggles.

And suddenly it's all too much.

His face buried between my thighs.

His fingers moving mercilessly inside me, pushing and arching, splitting me open.

Daryl eats me out like I'm the last meal of his life.

He is hungry.

Feral.

Hot, fucking hot.

My nails digging into the back of his neck pushing his face against my cunt, his skull crushed between the sweaty flesh of my thighs.

“Ya taste so fuckin’ good, sunshine”

His grunt reverberates through my body, plunging me into the abyss of pleasure.

A white heat explodes before my eyes...and the most overwhelming orgasm of my life envelops my body making me moan loudly, so loudly that Daryl lifts himself from the center of my thighs to calm my moans with his own lips.

His tongue deep in my mouth, making me savor my own pleasure, thus prolonging the last spasms of my climax and accompanying my trembling body back to reality.

Still panting and shocked, I find the strength to reopen my eyes, observing the statuesque body of the archer rise from his position only to lie down on my sweaty body.

His lips rest lightly on my breast, moving up my neck and then taking possession of my lips again.

I can feel his excitement.

A single thought echoes in my mind.

It's not enough, I want more.

The kiss becomes more and more heated.

My hands slide down his sides and then grip the buckle of his belt tightly.

“I need you” I pant against his jugular.

He groans in my hear, giving me goosebumps.

His hands reach mine, helping me to free him from the last obstacle that now separates our bodies.

Daryl puts the weight of his body on his arm so he can use his free hand to take off his jeans completely and I take the opportunity to take off my panties.

His lips find my neck, sucking on the skin and leaving yet another hickey.

The only sound in the tent is our strangled breathing.

Another moan slips from my lips as the archer positions his now naked body on top of mine.

His thick cock caresses my inner thighs and my body vibrates in anticipation.

Daryl hums against my skin.

I wrap my legs in a chokehold around his waist, my hands gripping his back finding purchase in his shirt.

I crush it between my fingers as yet another plea rolls from my lips.

“I want you, Daryl.I need you” I cry, my body shaking with pleasure.

He lets one arm slide under my head, like a pillow, while the other slides under my back, lifting me slightly.

Now the tip of his cock touches my labia and his hips slowly push towards mine.

Inches after inches his fat cock slips inside my cunt, the stretching is painfully pleasurable.

I moan, closing my eyes and pushing my head back against his hand.

He is so big I can feel my walls molding around him.

His breathing intensifies as he pushes towards me and when he bottoms out his body lowers, lying completely on mine.

I spread my legs even further to make room for him, the pain between them is palpable but the desire I have for this man manages to make me concentrate on other feelings.

The feeling of being split open by the man I love erases any pain, any discomfort.

The feeling of his heat on my bare skin.

The feeling of his warm breath on my neck.

Feeling him immersed in my body, fused together, makes my heartbeat faster between my legs.

Daryl remains still, his face buried in my neck and his shaky breath crashing against my ear.

I push my hips forward eager for him to start moving but Daryl remains still.

He seems almost paralyzed.

His back tense, the muscles in his arms contracted tightly.

Instantly all the neurons in my brain go on alert trying to figure out what's wrong.

The man's breathing becomes increasingly heavier while small spasms shake his back.

“Daryl?Everything is fine?" I breathe close to his ear.

In response he nods his head but continues to remain perfectly still.

I squirm beneath him, trying as hard as I can to catch his gaze but immediately after the hand that wraps around my back squeezes my flesh tightly.

Almost painfully.

“Could ya…could ya please stay still?” he exhales between clenched teeth.

Immediately my body freezes, my mind working quickly to make sense of his request.

“What…”

“’M fuckin’ trying to not cum like a fuckin’ teen” he interrupts me, lifting his head and pointing his wonderful blue eyes into mine.

His wild and disheveled hair, from how many times I've run my hands through it, falls messy and disheveled onto his face.

And I know I shouldn't, that I might offend him, but the laughter ringing in my chest leaves my lips before I can do anything to stop it.

My legs slip from his waist and wrap around his muscular thighs.

And no matter how hard Daryl tries to sulk, I see a little of that worry slipping from his eyes as one corner of his lips lifts, giving me that little amused grin that can make my heart stop.

With our bodies still intertwined and his masculinity buried in my body we find ourselves laughing.

Daryl brings both arms to the sides of my head, leaning on his elbows so his hands are free to caress my face.

My arms remain wrapped around his neck, my fingertips lazily stroking the hair that brushes the back of his neck.

And it is at this moment, in this very moment that everything makes sense.

The pain.

The fear.

The tears.

In the enveloping warmth of his embrace I feel the world slow down.

My hands tightening around my most precious treasure, every inch of skin against skin is a step towards a better life.

A life with fewer fears but many more hopes.

There is no need for words, my heart in sync with his speaks an older and deeper language.

It's as if time stands still, and all that matters is this moment.

My mind free from worries.

The outside world and its problems vanish.

He is my refuge, the safe harbor in which I can anchor myself.

The safe harbor that I am sure will protect me from every storm.

The peace I feel is like the silence of a windless night.

There are no storms, only calm and fears dissolve, and breathing becomes regular.

He is my shield against the chaos of the world out there.

The protection he offers me is like an impassable wall.

There is nothing that can hurt me while I am in his arms.

He is my warrior, ready to defend me from any threat.

He was built for this world.

And the joy?

Oh man, the joy.

It's like a love song in my chest.

Every heartbeat is a melody, and he is the only one who can play it.

I know this is my place, my destiny.

At this moment everything is perfect.

So, without the need for words, he holds me close to him.

And in his embrace, I find everything I have always looked for...deep love, without boundaries, without end.

The love that now shines in my eyes and presses against my lips, the words prisoner in my head...words too mature for a love that is still so immature.

Words too strong for a man still too weak for this too strong, devastating feeling of mine.

Deafening words that scream in my head, words that I swallow and put them in the depths of my soul.

Words that perhaps will never see the light of day but those words will always be intrinsic in my every gesture, in every caress, in every kiss.

In every embrace.

“That's ok, big boy.Take your time” I whisper against his lips curved in a sweet smile.

Smile that I treasure.

Smile that fills me with pride because I'm the only one who can have it.

A smile that I will jealously guard in my heart, imprinting it in the eyes of my memory.

Daryl kisses me and his hips move.

Slowly.

Gently.

By now the light in the lamp has stopped burning and the tent is shrouded in darkness, only the moonlight entering through the small cracks illuminates our bodies with silvery light.

The breaths intertwine, and my heart beats like the wings of a frightened bird.

There are just the two of us, two souls who have come closer with fear and desire.

His skin against mine is like silk, and every caress is a kiss without lips.

I feel the heat of his body burning against mine, his breathing deepening.

With each thrust the sweet melody of his breath crashes deliciously on my sweaty skin.

With each moan it is as if time expands, and each second lasts an eternity.

It's like opening a mysterious book, page after page.

I don't know what to expect, but I know that he is the key to that secret.

“Sunshine, ya're so tight.Shit!” breathes the archer with his lips pressed to my forehead.

As filthy as his words are, the sweetness and reverence with which he whispers them fills my heart with sweet devotion.

His every movement is a gift, every kiss a poem.

Daryl is capable of making me feel fragile and strong at the same time.

It's as if my body opened like a flower at the first ray of sunlight.

And he is the sun.

Confidence grows within me.

There are no more fears, just total abandonment.

When our bodies joined, it was like a love song.

There are no words, just moans and sighs.

A love song produced by our bodies.

I feel his heart beat in unison with mine through his chest pressed against mine.

Every thrust is a promise.

Daryl leverages his arms, lifting himself off my body.

His head falls forward, his chin almost touching his chest and a strangled moan between his parted lips.

Wonder pervades me.

It's like discovering a new universe.

Every sensation is amplified, every touch a miracle.

I close my eyes, digging my fingers into the firm flesh of his ass and let myself be carried away, like a leaf drifting on a river.

The archer's thrusts intensify, the sound of skin against skin echoes in my ears along with the blood rushing furiously beneath the surface.

My body is filled with tension while a sweet knot in my stomach prepares to spring.

Groaning, I raise myself on my elbows to look at the point where our bodies join.

Daryl's big, veiny cock sinks forcefully as his fingers dig into the flesh, leaving their imprint.

A couple more thrusts and I cum so hard that the scream gets stuck in my throat making me drown in my own pleasure.

My walls clenching rhythmically around him, milking him and making him suffocate in his own moans.

The archer, face flushed and his breathing ragged, pulls out in one sweet motion and grabbing his cock he strokes it a couple of times and then he cums.

Hot white ropes land on my stomach and breasts.

I fall back onto the sleeping bag in a daze without being able to take my eyes off the man kneeling between my thighs.

His muscular chest rises and falls furiously while his eyes remain glued to my body, observing me as a proud painter would observe his latest canvas.

Without speaking he runs a hand over his face, wiping the sweat with the back of his hand and then hovering over me he grabs one of his t-shirts using it to clean me up.

His hand moves with care and precision and once finished he lies down next to me, caging me in his arms.

In the silence of the night his hand lazily caresses my back, each caress leaving a trail of shivers behind it.

“Are ya cold?” he asks in a whisper, placing his lips on my forehead.

“A little bit” I reply pressing myself against his chest, breathing in the spicy scent of his skin.

Daryl grabs one of his shirts, placing it over our still naked bodies.

With my mind finally light and emptied, for the first time in time immemorial, I feel complete.

It's as if the world has found its balance.

My world has found its balance.

I found Daryl.

“Ya good?”

“Yeah”

“Sure?”

“Daryl, stop!” I giggle, propping myself up on one elbow and meeting his gaze, “You were perfect.Everything was perfect”

My smile seems to reassure him.

His blue eyes are two pools of serenity.

I scratch at his chest with my nails playing with the buttons on his shirt.

“Anyway…I came here for another reason although I'm not complaining about how things went” I chuckle making him chuckle too.

“Oh, really?” he teases me by pinching my side and making me laugh.

I fall back onto my back turning my head to the side.

Daryl lifts his arms to cross them behind his head, his relaxed gaze locked on mine.

“I have something for you” so I say, I turn my back on him and sit down to rummage through the pile of my clothes.

“Here” I say handing him his gun.

At first his confused gaze wanders between my face and the gun held in my hands, only a moment of confusion after which the man realizes.

“’S ’ma gun?”

I nod.

He sits down and grabs the weapon, in the meantime I take the opportunity to put on one of his t-shirts.

“Why do ya have it?”

“Now you have to promise me one thing”

His eyebrows raise suspiciously.

“Why?” he asks sceptically.

“Just promise me”

“Alrigh’, alrigh’!” he huffs in exasperation even though his lips are curled upwards.

I grab his brief from the floor and hand them to him and after he puts them on I sit on his lap.

His arms wrap around my hips and I kiss the tip of his nose.

“Carl took it.He asked me to give it back to you because he is afraid of you.So you won't tell him anything, okay?”

Daryl watches me curiously, I can hear the gears turning quickly in his head.

“Why?”

I sigh worried about that little guy.

“He's confused.He's just a scared little boy who wishes he were a man”

“And that's why he stole ’ma gun?”

I shake my head worriedly thinking back to the discussion I had with Carl shortly before.

“He feels guilty.Carl saw the walker who killed Amy”

Just saying the poor girl's name makes my throat tighten.

Daryl tightens his grip around my body, waiting patiently for me to pull me back together so I can tell him what happened.

“He says he saw it stuck in the mud.He wanted to shoot it but it freed itself and he, scared, ran away.Now he believes it's all his fault and that if he had shot it Amy would still be alive”

It's not his fault but ultimately I can understand him.

I would have thought the same thing too.

I would feel responsible too.

And I feel somehow responsible for all these people.

I feel compelled to protect the people who welcomed me with arms wide open.

I feel compelled to protect them not only from the outside world but also from their own pain.

It's all a fucking vicious circle of regret and guilt.

“Hey, listen ta me, ’ma little sunshine” whispers the archer, gently caressing my bare thigh, “None of us are to blame.The world has changed and the only thing we can really do is stay together.Help each other.Defend ourselves.Nothin’ more.Wha’ happened to Amy was inevitable.We can't change things.Ya can't protect everyone, Summer”

I know.

I am aware that I cannot protect everyone and yet I feel obliged to do so.

I can't fix everything but that will never stop me from trying even if it hurts me.

I sigh heartbrokenly as I rest my head against his chest, the slow, steady beat of his heart ringing in my ear like the sweetest of melodies.

His lips graze the crown of my head.

“Ya're too good for this world, sunshine”

I smile against the fabric of his shirt.

“Do you really think that?”

“Damn sure!”

I look up in search of his eyes, in search of the pity but that's not what I find.

In his gaze there is only sweetness, respect.

I grab one of his hands in mine, studying every curve, every little mark.

“You know” I murmur in a whisper, “Despite everything I do, I feel weak.I just wish I was stronger.More brave”

Daryl lets me vent by carefully observing my hands which with devotion continue to caress and venerate his large one.

“Ya're not weak.Ya already know wha’ I think ’bout ya”

I nod shyly raising my gaze, looking at this wonderful man from under my eyelashes.

His gaze is clear, relaxed and sincere.

All his defenses are down.

All his feelings exposed to me.

A shiver runs down my spine as his hand slowly moves down until it rests on my bare ass.

This time a mischievous smile curves his lips.

“No panties?”

I laugh throwing my head back

“Don't get any strange ideas, big boy.I'm just passing through” I announce, getting up from his lap and starting to pick up all my clothes scattered on the floor.

The archer's gaze doesn't let go of me even for a moment as I try to get dressed and not keep thinking about what just happened.

I sit next to him putting my boots on.

“I need to find Rick.I have to talk to him about Carl.I don't...”

“’M not screwing around with ya.Ya know, righ’?”

His words take me by surprise as I lace up my boots.

When I look for his gaze I find him intently staring straight ahead while nervously chewing on the corner of his thumb.

It is a tender and poignant scene at the same time.

The weight of his past has made him so vulnerable and so scared.

My soft big boy.

Life has not been kind to him, painful memories and invisible scars.

A pure heart that has learned to fear love.

A scared heart that is afraid to open up, to confide, to let someone enter his shattered world.

It's as if his heart were a wounded bird, unable to fly towards love.

His face is marked by the weight of a painful past, his eyes as deep as abysses hide secrets that only the night wind knows.

Words will never be enough so I make my decision.

I smile, even though he can't see me, and slowly get rid of my clothes again, the rustle of my clothes catches his attention and his eyes are finally on me again.

Soft and confused.

Left alone with his t-shirt on, I sit back on his lap, wrapping around his broad chest and burying my face in the crook of his neck.

His heart raging against mine, beating in unison.

“Do you know what?Rick can wait” I breathe against his throat, a light kiss where his Adam's apple bobs up and down.

“Here with you is where I want to be” I whisper, hugging him, “There is no other place in the world where I want to be”

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@celtic-crossbow @deansapplepie @daryldixmedown @duckybird101 @thebadbatch2022 @winterassassin1804

[alex51324]

OK, so I'm now caught up on Interview With the Vampire (TV). I have some observations:

Wow, was that trial ever a master-class in poor-little-meow-meowification! I was legit getting flashbacks from the (season 1-hiatus) Izzy Trenches, with the whole, "Pointing out that he doesn't have to put up with my behavior, and he wouldn't recommend anyone else do so either, is--due to Meow-Meow's personal circumstances--an act of such exquisite cruelty that it excuses pretty much anything he does while he's upset about it," and "sure, yeah, this thing Meow-Meow did sounds bad to you normies, but because we're pirates vampires it's barely anything; a slight loss of temper for which he should be forgiven completely because the other dude said something mean", thing, plus the side of "Oh, but that threatening to leave is the most brutal form of abuse thing applies only to Meow-Meow, and in only one direction; it's fine for decide to part ways with anyone else at any time for any reason, and nobody else has any right to find that at all upsetting."

(To be clear, I genuinely liked this in IWTV; it was interesting seeing an audience falling eagerly into this trap, when the audience is also fictional, and the show itself is winking and nodding to us about it.)

(I do wonder if the show is going to grapple with this at all next season--the reunion suggests that Louis had also fallen into this trap. I'm unconvinced by the fan-theories suggesting that Lestat was an unwilling participant in the trial; there might have been some use of vampire mind-powers to keep him on-script during the proceedings, but I think he genuinely didn't realize he gave a shit about Claudia until it was too late.)

2. The aging-up of Claudia's character (she was a little little girl in the books) puts her at right about the same age as The Vampire Currently Known As Armand was when he was originally sex trafficked as a human, and I wonder about that stirring up some long-buried feelings. Does the grotesque parody of innocence inherent in Baby LuLu have some parallel in his experience as a sexually exploited child? What happened to Arun--or to Amadeo, even--if he failed to play his part with a reasonable facsimile of enthusiasm?*

On the one hand, I'm interested in these potential parallels; on the other hand (glancing back up at point 1), it's a tricky needle to thread, to see these parallels as contextualizing Armand's actions, but not excusing them. I do not entirely trust fandom not to turn this into, "Well, she reminded him of His Worst Trauma, so everything he did to her was basically self-harm, and he pretty much had to kill her in order to achieve closure on that period of his life**."

(*Some of this may be addressed in the books? The Vampire Armand came out on the waning edge of my Anne Rice phase; I'm pretty sure I read it, but I don't remember much about it, and I don't have a copy. The parallels with Claudia wouldn't be, though, because in the books she was 5.)

(**Izzy Trenches flashbacks again.)

3. As someone who read the books back in the day, I appreciated the brief mention in S1 that Louis's grandfather had owned a plantation, worked by men who "shared his complexion but not his circumstances." To me, that line opened up the possibility of reimagining Book!Louis as also being Black.

(To be clear, he canonically could not have been; beyond that fact that It Would Have Come Up, in the first few pages--which I just re-read--he is described as being bone-white. Even if he was mixed and white-passing, it doesn't quite work.

However, Anne Rice did write a book, Feast of All Saints, about a mixed-race protagonist, who was the son of a slave owner and a woman he enslaved. I remember almost nothing about it, except that the white father had promised to free him and send him abroad to be educated, but broke that promise. Porting some of that over onto a book-canon-era Black Louis could be very interesting.

I'd have to re-read both books--and probably TVL, too--to be able to even think about writing it, which is...unlikely, but I put that idea out into the universe.)

[writingomegas]

So because of @animeomegas writing some soft Dabi, I have some slight brain rot. So here are some snippets of a bunch of different prompts that I got from this generator. I might expand some of them later, but no promises <3

GN!Reader who's also in the LOV and who is very lovesick and chaotic

CW: lots of cursing, one on two innuendos, one slightly angsty prompt where you imply you and Dabi are gonna kill someone but that's to be expected

Alpha breaking into Dabi's room through their window.

Dabi loved you. Did he admit that as often as he probably should? No, but he still did. However, that didn't mean he didn't also think you were the strangest person on the planet.

"Why are you coming through my window? I have a semi-functional door right there." He gestures over to the busted door that Kurogiri had yet to fix.

"I was on the roof. Easier to just come in this way." You shimmy your way through the window and grin when you make it through.

"Why were you on the roof? It's 11 am, people can see you."

"Nobody ever looks up. And I was bird-watching."

He looks at you incredulously. "Is that code that you were looking for Hawks?"

"No. I was actually bird-watching."

"...That's it, I want a refund."

"You can't return me, asshole."

Alpha traveling long distances just to see Dabi.

"I'm back!" You yell, running into his bedroom with a stupid grin.

"...Weren't you in America like an hour ago?"

"Irrelevant, I missed you." You hug him closely and pepper kisses on his face.

"How the fuck did you get back so fast?" He pushes your face away from his.

"The power of love."

"That's bullshit and you know it. You can't break reality and claim love let you do it."

Dabi and Alpha remembering their first kiss… and they have very different takes on it.

"It was our first mission together. We were arguing about what we should be doing, and next thing I know he was kissing me."

"It was a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing."

"It's the hottest thing he's ever done."

"I was threatening to kill them before we did it."

"That made it hotter."

"It was a mistake. They never left me alone after that."

"Aw, love you too."

Dabi gets into a heated argument with someone. Dabi begins threatening them, so Alpha picks up Dabi and carries/drags them out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

Sometimes Dabi and Shigaraki can get a little heated. Literally, in this instance. You can practically feel the heat radiating from your boyfriend across the room and you know he's seconds away from blowing his fuse.

So, you do what you would rationally do in this situation.

When you lift Dabi into you arms, he freezes and you can practically see the gears working in his brain to understand what's happening. You pay him no mind and continue to walk to your shared bedroom.

"Wh- put me down, asshole!"

"Nope."

"Fuck you."

"I mean, if that's what you want."

Dabi hogs all the blankets and Alpha gets cold so they cling tightly to Dabi for warmth.

"You are a walking furnace, why the fuck do you need this many blankets?" you yell in frustration, desperately trying to untangle one from the horde that Dabi has collected.

Wrapped snuggly in his favorite blanket, he flashes you a shit-eating grin. "I still get cold. You don't want me to suffer, do you?"

"I call fucking bullshit. You push me off the bed because being near me is too hot for you."

"I have never done that. I am innocent."

"You're a lot of things, but innocent ain't one."

You finally manage to wiggle one blanket free, but before you even realize what's happening, Dabi manages to snatch it back and add it back into the horde.

You growl in frustration and try again.

Alpha holding Dabi's hands when they are shaking.

Your hands encase his and you meet his eyes.

"Deep breaths."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep, shaky breath. When he opens them again, rage still burns like a forest fire.

"I want him dead. He fucking deserves it."

"I know, and I agree. But you can't let him get in your head like this."

"I don't want to care so much." His twisted expression makes it clear to you the internal battle he's fighting.

"He hurt you. It's natural that you care. But I promise you, we'll put him in the fucking ground."

He chuckles humorlessly and he almost smiles. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Dabi having to comfort Alpha because Alpha just encountered a very large, unpleasant bug outside that scared them.

He was trying so hard not to laugh, but you could tell he's barely holding it in. He pats your back with his fist covering his growing smile.

"There there, it's okay."

You pout and glare at him. "It was a huntsman spider! It was fucking massive!"

His loose hold on his self-control is broken with your comment, and he bursts out laughing.

"Y/N, feared villain across the whole of Japan, spooked by a bug."

"You're a fucking asshole."

"Yeah, but you love it," he grins.

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

okay so i know no one cares but the internet is for yelling about your feelings and so i shall do just that! i think education on kink is so misinterpreted by the Youths on the internet (which proves they're too young and immature to even be having convos abt kink...) and there are also many minors who are into all that tiktok written porn and wattpad shit which has sorta leaked onto tumblr as well. and like i can't know who reads or writes that shit but it Smells Of Youth lol, and like and god knows that i read porn as a minor but ...... adksjhfgfdasdjhf you know?? at least i was aware i was in spaces not meant for me lol and behaved accordingly.

so i read a short lil ficlet that was on my recommended page (ofc a larissa/reader thing lol) that i think shows exactly what's wrong with the younger generations (not to sound like an old lady but you know what i mean) and that is that they are more concerned with appearances rather than the content -- that is, something checking all the boxes of safety rather than it actually being safe.

in their crusade for Righteousness and Political Correctness (even tho i hate using that word bc that's what far-right ppl use when they don't like that minorities want to be treated with respect) they forget that like. you can't slap a "this is okay label" on something that isn't okay and that magically makes it okay.

what i mean by that is that in that ficlet -- and it doesn't matter which one it is bc they are all basically the same fic regurgitated over and over again with slight changes -- we are clearly talking about a fucked up scenario: a principal pursuing and wanting to fuck her student! but THEN she says "if you want me to stop just say red" as if that makes it all okay?? it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of safewords and what they are for. nothing was negotiated or talked about, she DEMANDED that this clearly young person call her mommy even though no preferences were discussed prior etc etc.

and my beef with this is like, if you're gonna write a fucked up scenario (and god knows i love those), you should not try to signal with your narrative choices that what is happening is okay, unless it is a literary choice that somehow serves the story. but what i've read and keep reading feels like aha! not problematic bc we are all over 18 and we have safewords! so nothing could ever go wrong :) please, treat a fucked up scenario like a fucked up scenario! commit to your fucked up fantasy goddamit! stop trying to virtue signal! you're writing about a principal fucking her student and abusing her power, which is okay and you should be able to write about that! but she's not uwu mommy askjdhfsg you know?? and i think that's why so many people got mad at me for writing my fucked up shit (inevitable specifically) and it's bc i wrote basically what the narrative they keep writing about would look like in real life lol, and i didn't do any of the performative stuff they do to make it Okay and Not Problematic. someone would end up hurt, i promise you! it's okay to have your fucked up fantasies, just don't pretend they're not just that -- fucked up fantasies that need to be carefully managed if you ever want to engage in something that mimics it in real life.

it's really dangerous that all these Youths keep using bdsm terminology without understanding what it means. safewords, dom/sub dynamics, aftercare... if you write a sexual assault scene and slap aftercare on it, it is still sexual assault. if someone coerces you to have sex with them (and there is more way than one to coerce a person to sleep with you without using any force) but say oh you can have a safeword and i'll stop :))) that is still sexual assault lol. you saying the words doesn't mean anything.

also, i'm not saying there aren't inherent power dynamics in any relationship, not just with age gap stuff which is a popular trope in these fics, but like they need to be addressed and managed if you want to write a Healthy Relationship(TM). there is a social power imbalance between men and women and yet het relationships exist and work! but if you don't wanna write that, if you wanna write your "mommy that sorta rapes me but not really" fantasy, by all means keep doing it but pleaaaase call it what it is! otherwise it's just confusing and harmful for all the young people on these webbed sites.

i am all for fucked up shit, both reading and writing it, and there should be space for everyone to unload their bullshit on the internet. however, problems arise when fucked up shit is being sold as Good(TM) bc it checks certain boxes and basically passes as Not Problematic uwu on a technicality, rather than examining the actual content. there are ways to examine fucked up desires and the dark side the human psyche, but what is not productive is slapping buzzwords on stuff and saying oh it's Moral(TM) now. fiction doesn't have to be moral. please give up on that notion! but if it's trying to be, then it shouldn't endorse prettily packaged sexual assault lol.

[hornyhornyhimbos]

babeeesss so i got two new tats today and now I'm thinking about Eddie being with you and whispering praise in your ear as the artist keeps going. God just imagine him saying 19 & i think 20 on the promot list while you're just like "stop, not here not right now" THAT FUCKER KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HEA DOING AND IT LEADS TO A HOT AND HEAVY MAKE OUT IN THE BACK OF THE VAN

this was really fun to write hehehe, also i hope the tattoo scene is somewhat accurate, i am still a tat virgin 🥲

pov: eddie, the boob man, is obsessed with your new underboob tattoo ♡

18+ duh, reader gets a tattoo so mentions of needles, there is a scene of eddie playing with reader's boobs, fingering f!receiving, explicit language, 1.6K words oops, beta read by @dungeons-are-too-cold

"you're doing so well, baby," eddie whispered, meeting your cheek for the softest kiss imaginable.

"eddie, she literally just put the stencil on," you sassed.

"see? you're doing great already. someone i know once ran out of the tattoo shop before he ever finished signing the safety waiver."

you smirked, holding back a series of laughs. "did his name happen to be teddy bunson?"

eddie’s lips scrunched into a thin line, his expression one of slight indignation. still, he leaned down and left a kiss to your hair, whispering, "something like that."

soon enough, the tattoo artist had finished cleaning her tools and was ready to 'ink you up' as she'd called it earlier. for someone covered in ink and piercings herself, her personality read one and the same with a unicorn.

the machine came to life with a string of vibrations. you were sure your heart was buzzing in time with it. the artist leaned over your midsection and looked up at you with an eager smile.

"now, i need you to breathe your nose for this part, ok?" she instructed, easing the tattoo gun ever so closer to your skin.

you nodded, watching as the needles pressed into your skin. you released a steady breath, settling into the pain. a good pain, you told yourself.

"and we have contact!" the artist said with a giggle, still intently focused on her work.

eddie bent down close to your ear, and by the smirk on his lips, you already knew that whatever was about to come out of his mouth would make you either blush or want to scream at him, probably both. "breathe through your nose for this part. now, where have you heard that before?"

ok, maybe he'd make you want to do some other third thing: suffocate him with your bare hands.

the artist must've heard or gathered what eddie whispered, because you could see the outline of her teeth clamping down on the inside of her mouth as she held back a laugh. she knows eddie too well, you thought to yourself.

"edwin, can you at least try to act civilized?" you tried to scold, though you were pretty sure it sounded more like begging.

the pain ramped up as the gun glided across your sternum. "shit," you exhaled a breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

"funny. that's usually the word that follows my instructions too."

every curl, every strand of hair, you wanted so desperately to rip it off his head and feed it to him.

"eddie, if i make it out alive after this, i'm gonna kill you," you said. promised, even.

the tattoo artist let out a chuckle. "trust me, it's definitely not the worst i've heard. you'd be surprised at the things i've heard guys say when they watch their girlfriends get sternum tats."

"she's right, you know," eddie said with a pout. it was one you wanted to simultaneously kiss and smack off his face. "you can't expect me to act normal when your pretty titties are out on display like that."

if you had the physical strength to facepalm, you would've, but by this point, the pain was becoming a little too overwhelming for you to talk or move through, so you settled for a world-record-breaking eye roll.

"that's why i don't usually let boyfriends in for sternum tats. i remember now," the artist said through chuckles, not once looking up from her work. "you're lucky eddie is a friend of mine."

about four hours had gone by, filled with nearly unbearable pain and absolutely unbearable annoyance, driven by eddie of course, when the artist was finally finished with your tattoo. you nearly cried at how beautiful her work had turned out, and when you turned to look at eddie, he wore a matching face of sheer excitement and shock.

it was two little vines of wildflowers under each of your breasts, met in the middle by a poppy on your lower sternum. poppies were eddie's birth month flower, but they had also been your favorite since childhood, so you figured if things went south for you and eddie (even though you highly doubted they would), you wouldn't have such a hard time separating the two from each other.

after she'd told you all about how to properly care for it and you'd said your thank yous and goodbyes, eddie led you out to the van, pecking soft kisses on your ear every couple feet.

"what are you doing?" you asked, an eyebrow cocking upward as he pulled you toward the back of the van.

he swiftly opened the white doors before gripping your waist, lifting you into his 'miniature man cave' as you'd deemed it. "getting a better look at that tattoo."

while the outside of the van may have been freshly painted white, the inside was everything but. the previously beige carpet had been ripped out and replaced with shaggy, orange carpet. a tiny, blue bin filled with throw pillows and blankets sat in the corner, next to eddie's emergency water bottle stash. mini brown curtains with groovy flowers hung over the windows, the tops decorated with beaded valances you'd helped eddie string together.

he pushed you back against the shabby carpet, pulling himself in behind you and closing the van doors with a loud slam. eddie made grabby hands at your oversized shirt like a child, but you weren't giving in that easily.

"eddie, i can't believe how you acted in there," you scoffed, your arms crossing lightly so as to not touch your chest. "you were childish. and an asshole."

he pouted, his eyes darting away from you. "i'm sorry. i just couldn't help myself though. you have such beautiful tits, how could i resist?"

"well, i'm not sure if you were aware, but we were in public," you scolded. "you could've at least tried to act like you have some decency."

he hovered over you, leaving kisses all over your neck. "next time, i'll look away, i promise. or better yet, i'll cover them so i can't see them. how's that sound?"

something close to annoyance bubbled under your skin. "you'll just look for any excuse to touch my tits, won't you?"

his lips met the crook of your neck again, sucking hard enough that you were sure it would leave a bruise later. "maybe," he pouted, releasing his lips from your skin.

his hands glided down to the hem of your shirt, tugging lightly at the ends of it. "do you mind," he paused, running a thumb along one of your love handles, "if i take a closer look at your new ink, baby?"

you nodded your head, letting out a sigh. "go ahead, love."

he slowly peeled the cotton over your head, his cock becoming hard as your tattoo came into view. he was careful not to touch it, careful around the plastic wrap that sat on your skin, but gently let his hands slip up to your breasts. his cold fingertips met your perky nipples as he sighed. "beautiful. absolutely fucking beautiful."

his fingers moved in gentle circles over your tits, occasionally pinching and flicking at them the way he knew you loved. "i know this was your first tattoo, but i hope to hell it wasn't your last, babe. i think i'd die a happy man just seeing your beautiful skin covered in ink."

eddie sunk his mouth onto one of your nipples, the other still sensitive under his touch. he pulled off your boob with a pop before asking, "mind if i stay like this for a while?"

heat pooled in your stomach as he licked and nipped at your boob. "go ahead. i'll die a happy woman seeing you like this."

as he continued to work at your tits, a nagging desire popped into your mind, and it seemed almost involuntary as your hand slid down your body. you stalled around your thighs, dragging small circles on your skin, before dipping under the waistbands of your sweatpants and panties.

he hadn't even noticed it until you let out an unintended, "fuck, eds."

eddie moved his hand from your boob down to your arm, pulling your hand swiftly out of your clothes. all he said was, "mine," before replacing your hand with his own, moving his opposite hand back to your neglected nipple.

his rough fingers inched inside your cunt. hearing your slick squelching against the digits as his mouth worked at your breast, occasionally leaving bites and nips at the hardened bud, it was driving you absolutely crazy.

his fingers pumped against your g-spot, and you were close, really close. "oh, fuck, eddie. please," you whimpered, your hands gripping the carpet so hard, you were sure you would rip it out when you released it.

eddie didn't say anything, just kept on what he was doing. his rings were cold against you, adding to your sensitivity. as he thrusted his fingers harder, you couldn't get enough of it.

"yes, yes, yes," you repeated, and as his mouth clamped down on your tit once again, the coil in your stomach snapped and your orgasm rushed through your veins.

his fingers pumped even faster as they worked you through your high, and the only thing you could manage was, "fuck, eddie!" as he trailed his mouth from your tit to your lips, a delicious string of spit trailing up your body.

he let go of your lips, long enough to let you catch your breath. a cheeky smile came over his face as he said, "gorgeous. absolutely gorgeous, baby."

you attempted to catch your breath, watching as his hands went back to playing with your breasts. "oh, eddie," you sighed, your eyes glazed over and focused on one thing: him.

"so pretty," he said, his mouth meeting your tit again. he kissed them gently, making sure not to work them too hard. "can't believe you didn't get one of these tats sooner, baby."

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @rupsmorge @esoltis280

[anabdaniels]

Piece by piece- Chapter 2

Chapter summary: Getting out on a date to know each other better, Ana and Jack realize they may work well together.

Word counting: 5.4k

Warnings: Alcohol, cursing, very questionable pick-up lines, brief mention of unpleasant male behaviors (not related to our cowboy, of course), slight self-body shaming.

A/N: Our girl is described as having curled bleached hair (I'm sorry, bleached hair has become my personality after I bleached mine after years of craving for it.), but you can just replace it for any other color/type of hair.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Playlist

Once the daylight hit her face, Ana had no choice but to wake up. Took her a moment to realize where she was and the memories of the last night were still a little blurred. She sat on the bed, running her hands over her face and hair, grateful for not having the monstrous headache she was expecting. After a few moments, everything became clearer, and if she could choose, Ana would rather have the worst headache of her life instead of her crystal-clear memories of the whole terrible scene in the bathroom.

“Fucking great, Ana. How will you ever face this man again?” letting out a frustrated sigh, she got out of bed.

A few minutes later, she went downstairs and followed to the kitchen when she heard voices coming from there. If she still believed that, Ana would’ve thanked the heavens for the fact that Jack wasn’t with the others.

“Seems we won’t need to go to check if our dear friend is still alive.” Tequila joked when Ana passed through the door.

“I wouldn’t say that I’m totally alive.” Ana answered while sitting on one of the stools on the kitchen island.

“Don’t be so dramatic. Based on what I’ve heard from last night, you’ve been in worst situations.” Lisa stated in a playful tone.

“As someone who witnessed everything, I can confirm that was not even close to being the most disastrous thing that happened in one of our reunions.” Ginger affirmed with a tender smile and handed a mug of coffee to Ana.

“You’re the only one here that I believe.” Ana held the mug between her hands and thanked Ginger for it.

Jack stayed in bed for a couple of minutes after waking up, thinking about the last events; had been a while since the last time he was on that kind of date. Since that last terrible breakup, he tried to convince himself that a life of commitment was not for him anymore, even if he knew it was a lie. Wearing the womanizer disguise made things easier; Jack could appreciate the company of a beautiful woman for a few hours and follow his life the next morning, without concern about the complicated sentimental field, he just didn’t expect things to change so fast because now he found himself wondering what would be the best place in Louisville to take Ana for a real date.

Finally, he decided to get up, going downstairs a couple of minutes later. Safe to say it was a pleasant surprise to hear Ana’s voice coming from the kitchen, then he walked over there and entered the room. She was too focused on the chat to notice him approaching and felt her heart skip a beat when his hands gently leaned on her shoulders.

“Looks like you’re recovered from the night, Ana.” She turned her head to look at him, feeling her cheeks warming a little bit up.

“Not hundred percent yet, but yes, I’m recovered.” Ana affirmed with a slight smile.

“Still progress.” Jack said with a smirk, pressing her shoulders for a second before releasing them and walking around to get some coffee. Ana turned her attention to the opposite side when she listened to a ringtone.

“Shit.” Lisa whispered while typing on her phone “I have to go. I promised to take my little sister for ice cream and she’s already flooding me with messages. As much as I’m enjoying watching the two sweethearts interacting,” she said alternating her gaze between Ana and Jack “the last thing I want is a pissed off nine-year-old.” Lisa took the last sip of her coffee and stood up, looking at Ana “Since I’m the one who kidnaped you, I can drive you home.”

“I have no condition to go anywhere before finishing this coffee.” Ana admitted, “Tell little Barbara that I didn’t forget about her cake.”

“As if she would let you forget.” Lisa raised her eyebrows and gave her friend a quick hug, then looked at Jack “And you better behave yourself with my friend.”

“If there’s a thing you don’t need to be concerned about, is this.” He sounded jokingly as always, but it was the truth.

“The best for your health.” She answered trying to sound serious and turned to look at Ginger and Tequila “And you two, we need to combine the visit you promised to my mother, ‘cause she’s about to drive me insane asking about you.”

“Just drop a date and I’ll be there.” Tequila said without flinching “I never waste the opportunity to have a coffee with a lady.”

“I forgot to mention that hitting on my mother isn’t an available option.” Lisa retorted with narrowed eyes.

“Did you get surprised after he and my aunt spent a whole afternoon flirting?” This time Ginger was the one remembering a questionable event.

“I’ve never been so happy that my mother doesn’t live around here.” Ana stated after taking a sip of her coffee.

“Don’t be so relieved.” Jack said right after “My mother is happily married living in Bardstown and it didn’t stop him from trying.”

“Y’all so dramatic. I was just sympathetically entertaining the ladies.” Tequila said with a crooked smile “And you’re too emotional for someone that used to have a lot of problems with furious husbands, Whiskey.” Jack narrowed his eyes, staring at his friend like he was about to kill him; definitely, the best thing he could’ve said in front of the woman his fella was interested in. Once again shocking Jack by how her sense of humor could be so terrible as his friends’, Ana burst into laughter before being honest with him.

“It suits you.” Not even Ginger could keep a straight face and laugh with the others, the perplexing expression on Jack’s face didn’t help much.

“Excuse me?” Jack landed his gaze on Ana while waited for an explanation, unable to close his mouth.

“I’ve said what I’ve said. Interpret as you wish.” This coming from anyone else would probably have pissed him off, but she had that strange talent to say something that could start a war with such a beautiful smile that Jack couldn’t help but get more fascinated.

“I know is the third time I say this in the last two hours, but now I really need to go home.” Ana said after they concluded another section of commentaries about some event involving someone they knew.

“Ana, what’s so interesting in your goddamn house for you to want to spend so much time in it?” Ginger complained openly, had been a while since the last time Ana joined them just to chat bullshit with none of them worrying about anything else.

“I promise I’ll not disappear for so long again, but I have a mountain of paperwork to take care of.”

“Considering that you managed the feat of going home after Lisa and Tequila, I had to admit that you’re redeeming yourself for the absence.” Ginger concluded, leaning her head slightly to the side.

“Good to know that I’m not doing that bad.” Ana smiled and turned her attention to her phone, letting out a sigh when a last warning of low battery flashed on the screen before the device turned down “That’s great. Now I’ll have to call my Uber with the power of my mind.”

“Or you could just take a ride home with a cowboy.” Jack said leaning at the door frame, a smug smirk on his lips. Ana looked at him with a slight smile.

“I’ll spare you from insisting because I’m accepting the suggestion.”

They talked for a couple of minutes more before Ana and Jack decided to leave, not surprisingly the three of them stood at the front door talking for a little longer. When they got in the car, Ana started to ponder if it had been a good idea; being alone with him after the incident of the last night wasn’t the scenario she expected, but then she decided to proceed like one would do with a band-aid: straight to the point without hesitation.

“Jack, I want to apologize for last night.” She started to talk without looking at him, for the first time her voice didn’t sound confident and firm “For everything that I remember doing and saying to you and for anything that I may not remember that I did.” Safe to say it caught Jack off guard, not the apology itself, but how she sounded slightly guilty.

“Don’t worry about that, darlin’.” He said sincerely with a warm voice, alternating his attention between her and the street “Those things happen all the time, it’s okay. And, at all, I found your declaration pretty romantic.” Jack smiled broadly when she laughed.

 “I think it’s relevant to remark that I was telling the truth and that your shoulder is an amazing pillow.” She pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh.

“Considering that you still talking to me and that you collapsed fast, I’ll believe in both things.” He affirmed in a solemn tone, even though he still smiling “But actually, you caused me a problem.”

“What problem?” She frowned, staring at him with full attention.

“It’s a very specifical problem. You see, it makes me upset every time I unlock my phone and remember that your number is not on it.” Took Ana a few seconds to process what she just heard and was impossible to hold the hearty laugh.

“You’re not making things easy for me, because I love questionable pick-up lines.” She said with a wide smile “Give me this phone, Daniels.”

“Don’t blame me if I go too far with that.” He didn’t hesitate to grab his phone and hand it to her.

“If you knew the atrocities that I found reasonable to be used in flirting situations, you wouldn’t tell me this.” Ana answered while typing her number on his phone.

“Can’t be that bad, give me an example.” Jack turned his look at her once he stopped at the traffic light. She stopped typing and bit her lip, thinking for a moment.

“You see, being a history teacher demands me to use a lot of books which is very good, ‘cause I have my library card always handy. And it ended up truly useful because I’m certainly checking you out.” It was supposed to be just a joke, but if he were to judge by her glance at him, he wouldn’t be so sure that she wasn’t serious. 

“You’ll steal my heart speaking like this.” Jack had a smirk on his face.

“Maybe that’s my goal.” She said while turning her attention back to save her contact on his phone, handing it back to him right after.

“You won’t need much effort.” He admitted before looking back to the street, making her smile sideways.

No more than fifteen minutes later they arrived at her address; once more he didn’t miss the chance to open the car door for her with that almost silly smile on his face. Since he had to park a few meters away from the front door, he wouldn’t waste the opportunity to enjoy her company for a little longer while they walked towards her house.

“Safe and sound at home.” He said while she unlocked the door.

“And away from alcohol for a while.” She answered frowning slightly and smiled right after “Well, thank you for the ride, for the nursing services, and for allowing me to use you as a pillow.” Ana smiled a little more when he chuckled.

“I’m at your disposal anytime if you need any of the three things.” Jack affirmed with a nod of his head.

“I appreciate this information really much.”

“Good to know that.” He held the brim of his hat to straighten it before proceeding to his next move “I’ll take this opportunity to ask if you’re free tomorrow night.” Jack could see the slight surprise on her face and hoped this was a good thing.

“I am.” Ana didn’t think much before saying it.

“So, would you be up for dinner?” His voice came out calm and confident, would be impossible to know he had butterflies in his stomach.

“Yes. As long it isn’t sushi, I’d be delighted.” She sounded playful and had a discreet smile on her lips, ignoring the little racing of her heart with all her strength.

“Perfect.” Jack was smiling openly “No raw fish and I’ll pick you up at 8 pm.” Jack grabbed his Stetson by the crown and took it out of his head, then held one of her hands “Have a good afternoon, darlin’.” Without looking away from her eyes, Jack kissed the back of her hand.

“Thank you.” Ana smiled a bit more while observing him let go of her hand “I see you tomorrow, then.”

“I’ll be counting the seconds.” He said putting his hat back on and smiling at her one last time before descending the three steps at the front door and following the sidewalk to his car, unable to avoid his thoughts.

The last time Jack went on a real date with someone was more than two years ago when he met Sylvia, the girlfriend who made him give up on a life of commitment. But now, less than 24 hours after meeting Ana he was reconsidering deeply this decision. Of course, he still didn’t know enough about her, but he couldn’t ignore that they had chemistry, not the sexual kind, even that they had shared some desirous glances, it wasn’t just that. She genuinely liked a lot of things that he liked too; he didn’t need to take care about his dubious jokes because she was into the same type of jokes; despite the little flirting games, she was pretty much sincere about important stuff, like let him know that she had no intent of waste time in something casual. Most people might think it would be an exaggeration to discuss these things even before engaging in anything serious, but Jack appreciated that. In his middle twenties maybe, he wouldn’t care about these details at the very beginning of a romantic involvement, but now, being forty years old, he liked to know in which waters he was diving. Jack shook his head as he started the car, looking at her house one last time before he started to drive, hoping things went as well as he was expecting.

With her back resting on the door, Ana was still assimilating everything. The last thing she expected of that night was to end up having a date. She started to flirt with Jack mostly as a joke, with no intent to take it seriously, but he had too many characteristics she appreciated in a man to not catch her attention. Despite having hit on her openly, he really could keep a conversation without acting like a predator and he seemed truly interested in what she had to say. As if all this wasn’t enough, his passion for animals, especially dogs and horses just made him even more attractive to her. And for sure she couldn’t ignore the respectful gentleman he was; only her behavioral language was more than enough for him to get her boundaries and strictly respect them. The straight rational part of her mind insisted that not trying to kiss her after less than five minutes of conversation was the bare minimum, but, at the same time, she remembered that one of the principal reasons why she had been out of the romantic field for three years was exactly because any time a guy approached her, the whole situation was mediocre: no more than two minutes off tasteless talk till they started to look at her in the wrong way or tried to do something they certainly didn’t had the liberty to. Ana had no idea what course the dinner would follow, but even if they ended up not being romantically compatible, at least she would have a pleasant time with a handsome man; there was not much that could go wrong.

It was already 7:55 pm and Ana was doubtful about her outfit for the fourth time in the last ten minutes. Not that she thought that could have anything wrong with the emerald gabardine dress or with her matching emerald necklace and earrings, the problem for sure wasn’t them, but her. Growing up with the feeling of being the DUFF in her social circle had its consequences. She considered changing, fearing to be overdressed for dinner, but at the same time, that annoying voice in the back of her mind insisted on saying that she wasn’t skinny enough to dress more simply than that. Given the time and the fact that, despite the doubts, she liked the result of the whole picture, Ana decided not to change anything and stepped away from the mirror to put on her heels. One last check to make sure all the necessary was in her purse before she led downstairs and sat on the couch, ready to wait at least twenty more minutes, but she didn’t even have the time to get comfortable at the upholstery before listening to the doorbell.

Stood in front of the door, Jack aligned his blazer one last time while waiting. He felt his heart beating faster as heard her steps getting louder and couldn’t help a wide smile at the moment that Ana opened the door; when he thought she couldn’t look more stunning, there she was, easily the most beautiful creature he ever had the privilege to look at.

“Good evening, Jack.” She greeted softly with a smile, still processing how this man looked so gorgeous. He was not wearing his Stetson this time and his hair was millimetrically aligned, a good match with his well-fitted black blazer.

“It’s a wonderful evening having the most stunning lady of this city by my side.” Jack held her hand while speaking and planted a kiss on its dorsum “Shall we?”

“Of course.” Ana closed and locked the door behind her, walking side by side with him to the car, frowning for a second when he opened the door of an Audi “I seem to have unlocked your urban cowboy version.” She tilted her head slightly, looking at him.

“Kind of.” Jack affirmed with a smirk, holding out a hand to her “I would never risk letting the wind ruin your beautiful blonde curls in an open car.”

“Very insightful of you.” Ana smiled, holding his hand and getting into the car. After turning around and getting into the car, Jack raised one eyebrow and smiled at the scene of her focused on the onboard computer. “Don’t mind me, I’m just connecting my phone to the radio to provide you with an amazing soundtrack.” Ana joked looking at him.

“I’m deeply curious to know what you listen to.” He admitted, starting the car.

“Well, my playlist can go from Beyoncé to Mozart faster than a blink.” Once her phone was connected, she pressed the play button without checking which song it was and felt instant regret at the moment she heard the first note of the melody, followed by the chorus: “And the girls say; Save a horse, ride a cowboy”. Jack couldn’t hold back his laughter and looked at her just to find Ana staring at her phone with a perplexed smile and red cheeks. “I swear I have an explanation for this.” She said, finally looking at him.

“Go ahead with it, darlin’. I have a feeling it will be interesting.” He answered before looking back to the street, still smiling. 

“Ok, maybe I don’t have a real explanation, I just like this song.” At that point, she knew that trying to make up a story wouldn’t help much.

“Honestly, it doesn’t surprise me.” Jack was serious, despite his goofy smile “I just wonder if all our dates will be chaotic like this.” He glanced at her, resting his hand on his thigh.

“I can easily be more chaotic than this.” She hesitated for a moment before grabbing his free hand and intertwining their fingers “So I suppose you’ll have to get used.”

“Certainly not a thing I’ll complain ‘bout.” He stated, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb “I just can’t assure you that I’ll not be shocked by your playlist occasionally.” Jack sounded the more serious he could, despite the involuntary smile.

“I promise it gets more cultured.” Even with his eyes focused on the avenue, Jack had no doubt she was smiling.

“I’m afraid of the answer, but now I need to know what’s your favorite song.”

“Luckily for you, is a half-cultured one.” Ana said while scrolling through her playlist to find her favorite; once the song started to play, took no more than a few seconds for Jack to recognize it.

“Considering all the possibilities, ‘Death of a Bachelor’ was the last song I expected to be your favorite.” She couldn’t help but smile broadly at his statement.

“And I didn’t expect you to know this song.” Of course, Ana didn’t think he listened only to Willie Nelson 24/7, but her expectations for their music tastes to be aligned weren’t the highest.

“You’re not the only one that listens to a lot of everything.” He shrugged and pulled her hand closer to his face, kissing her wrist.

“But let me guess, your favorite is something between ‘Rhinestone Cowboy’ and ‘Islands in the Stream’.”

“Is ‘50 Ways to Leave Your Lover’, so your guess was pretty accurate.” Jack admitted with a smile.

“‘Just slip out the back, Jack’” Ana quoted a line from the song “Surely more sentimental than I was expecting, but a very enjoyable surprise.”

Amidst some more discussions about popular culture, they arrived at the restaurant. Once settled at the table, after the waiter left, they resumed their briefly interrupted conversation, which was not a difficult thing since they were two talkers.

“I know it doesn’t suit me, but I have a serious question to ask you.” Ana declared after one more sip of wine.

“Fine, now I’m scared.” He joked “Go on, darlin’. I’m all yours to interrogate.”

“Very well.” She pressed her lips together for a second before going ahead “Do intend to have kids?” Ana knew that, depending on what his answer was, any chance of this turning into something more would be dead and buried, but better now than after she became more involved.

“Not really.” Jack chose honesty, fully aware that there’s a possibility of ruining everything. 

“We’re talking about ‘not for now’ or ‘not at all’?” Ana took a sip of her wine, trying to contain her anxiety about his answer.

“Well, I had a vasectomy when I was 23, so ‘not at all’.” Ana didn’t even notice that she let out a sigh of relief, smiling openly.

“I don’t wanna sound indelicate, but those were undoubtedly the best words that came out of your mouth in this whole evening.” Her declaration caught Jack off guard and he couldn’t hide his excitement with her positive reaction.

“So, this won’t be a problem?” Even though he already assumed the answer, he couldn’t help but ask.

“You’re talking to the person who gave herself a sterilization surgery as a 25th birthday present.” She raised her eyebrows slightly.

“This being the case, I have a serious question too.” Jack leaned back in his chair, keeping his attention on her “Supposing we got married, how much persuasion I’d need to convince you to move to the countryside?”

“I grew up in the country and always wanted to go back, so you’d need no effort.” Jack couldn’t say if he was more fascinated by how she always sounded certain of what she wanted or how she seemed truly unbothered by the mention of something like marriage when they were still in the process to know each other.

“I hope you know that every word you say just makes you more fascinating to me.” His radiant smile only proved he was telling the truth “But I’m curious ‘bout this part of your past. Yesterday you mentioned you’re Brazilian; how did you end up in Louisville?”

“Well, I was born in Brazil and lived there ‘till I was nine years old when my family moved to Maine. Once I finished high school, I moved to New York to go to college, and right after I graduated, thanks to one of my professors I got the opportunity to get my master’s in London and I stayed there for twelve years. Then, three years ago I decided to move back to the United States. Through some acquittances, I got the job at the school and that’s how I ended up here.” She was calm while speaking and didn’t notice the soft smile growing on her face since Jack looked more interested with every word she said.

“Be aware that I’ll want to know the specific details about several parts of this.” Jack had a soft smile on his face “But what intrigues me more is that a woman with your qualifications, charisma, and eloquence could be working at the best universities in this country. Why the high school?” Judging by her excited expression and the breath she took before answering, Jack was aware that Ana was about to talk excitedly about the whole thing, and he couldn’t be more delighted.

“I worked at the UCL for a few years in fact, and it was frustrating.” She leaned her forearms at the board of the table, considering for a second what would be the best way to explain it “Adults are too comfortable in just listening to the information and absorb it unquestioningly, conversely the kids are always questioning the reason for everything; they go into heavy argumentations to defend their points and sometimes they end up noticing their contradictions in the middle of the process. It’s almost a magical thing to see them understanding why some things are the way they are and have the most variated reactions about it; there’s not a single world conflict they didn’t come up with a solution and most of them make sense. You don’t have much of this when teaching adults, but is exactly this chaotic atmosphere of the young ones that gives me satisfaction to be teaching; seeing that my work is effectively making some difference in their perceptions is undoubtedly the most amazing reward I can get from all of this.” Just when she finished her explanation, Ana realized she had been talking for a while and got excited enough to start with her vicious habit of moving her hands while speaking without even noticing. “I’m sorry, I got a little carried away.” She excused herself with a slightly embarrassed smile.

“Don’t you dare apologize for making me reflect on the condescension with which I’ve accepted information throughout my whole life using such a beautiful speech.” Jack’s eyes were slightly narrowed, accompanied by a crooked grin was more than enough to convince her about how real was his satisfaction in listening to her.

“Your ears will be the victims of my non-stop talking, then whatever you say goes.” Ana leaned in her chair, still smiling “But, since I’ve talked enough for a night and we’re talking about work, I have some questions too.”

“I can’t promise to talk so passionately as you about this subject, but I can guarantee honest answers.” Jack tried to sound solemn, but his smile betrayed him.

“And I appreciate this, ‘cause my curiosity is killing me.” He could see a little crease between Ana’s eyebrows while she formulated her next sentence “I know what I’m gonna say may sound a little stereotyped and I’m already apologizing for this, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t find the sense in someone who enjoy the things you do working at the corporate business. If I had to guess what you do for life, I’d say veterinary or something of this nature.” 

As if he wasn’t already enchanted enough for her, now she was admitting being intrigued about his job because it didn’t match his tastes and not because “He didn’t look like someone that would work in a big corporation.” like everyone always told him. And yet she feared she might’ve been rude in her remark. If Jack’s expectations were high before, now they were almost in the sky.

“Academically speaking, I’m a zootechnician, so you’re not wrong at all.” He answered with a wide smile “You see, I got a job at Statesman when I was nineteen and I found out that work at an office is not that bad. I always had the intention to retire to the countryside someday and the corporate job ended up being a good profit source for me to buy the ranch I always wanted and adjust it to the animals I intended to have. Even with some inconveniences, such as having to stay in New York longer than I’d like to, I learned to enjoy what I do and my schedule it’s flexible enough for me to spend almost all my weekends at the ranch.” This time Ana was the one listening with attention and amusement, appreciating his line of thought.

“I like your way of thinking, always considering the long-term situation, and I have to say that your concern about ensuring the ranch was fit for the animals got me by the heart.” Ana admitted with a discreet smile “And all this talk about country life is making me crave for a horse ride; it’s been so many years since the last time.”

“I can’t believe that someone that got so excited while listening ‘bout the life of all of my horses doesn’t ride often.” The expression on his face made it clear that he was genuinely surprised.

“The last time I rode a horse I still lived in Brazil.” Ana raised her eyebrows dramatically, leaving Jack more perplexed.

“We need to solve this, darlin’.” Jack leaned his crossed arms on the table “I’m going to the ranch this weekend and, if you would like to and feel comfortable ‘bout it, you can come with me. There’s a lot of other animals you can pet, the house has all the amenities you have in the city and, of course, you’d have a suite just for you.”

Throughout a good part of her life, Ana had received some good proposals for work or trips, but this one, for sure was among the best; not just because the idea of spending a weekend surrounded by animals sounded amazing, but because of his concern to clarify that it was not the kind of invitation with hidden second intentions.

“Sincerely, I’d love to spend a whole weekend disturbing your poor horses, but I have a serious question.” Despite being soft, her tone was neutral enough to not let him have any clue where this was leading “There’s any calf that I could pet? ‘Cause it has also been a long time since I was close to one.” Ana dismantled her straight face when he smiled broadly and nodded.

“There’s a couple of them and they’re used to being around people since they were born, so you’ll probably be running away from them at the end of the day.”

“That being the case, you can start to prepare your spirit to spend the whole weekend with me.” She said with a smile, tilting slightly her head.

“I’ll have to prepare myself to deal with the days after the weekend, ‘cause I’m aware that will be hard to be away from you.” Once her response to his remark was a sideways smile and a look that would make Jack tremble if he wasn’t so self-confident, he was sure that it would be an interesting weekend.

Two hours later, they were once again stood at her front door, arranging the main details of their trip to his ranch, already making plans. As was becoming usual, Jack didn’t waste the chance to plant a kiss on the back of her hand, as always sending a wave of heat over her skin and Ana wouldn’t be able to say if it was the warm touch of his lips or the gentle scratch of his mustache that gave her that amazing chills. One last glance exchanged and Jack went his way back to his car, as Ana closed the door of her house, the two wondering if things were really going so well between them.

Tagging: @missladym1981 (In case you want to be tagged, lemme know)

[dumplingsjinson]

naurrrrr, so a lot has happened since thursday last week ('tis now a tuesday). the long distant dude i voice called on thursday (took us 6 months and a fucktonne of communication issues in between) hasn't been answering my messages since the call and long story short, i'm kicking him to the curb for the meanwhile and if he ever replies then gg. ion need a partner OR a friend like that, ngl, because he's been inconsistent for the longest of fucking time, and i don't wanna agonise over someone like that any longer.

on friday, i went out with another guy. we'll call him... the cat dude, cause he loves cats and has one himself (she's the cutest thing ever, with the pics he's been sending me). first half of the date was a little boring, ngl. he's a lil' awkward. he was probably also a lil' nervous, which i don't blame him for.

and then we got drunk as shit for the second half, and i was leaning against him and everything while we were trekking around the city, and uh... AHEM. we ended up making out during karaoke. several times at that. i initiated most of them, too, because i wanted someone to kiss (mayhaps kissing is quite fun, imma tell you that much), so i'm like... LKFNEWLKFN. TAKE ALCOHOL AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW. a complete menace to society, your honour!

like, i still remember our first kiss where i turned around to face him, looked at him for a second or two then pulled him in by the nape of neck to kiss him. i don't remember how the other ones happened but i remember he initiated one of them. i remember him cuddling close to me, with me leaning against him, while we sang into our mics; him kissing my face (do guys just like... do that after you kiss them or what is this????). the karaoke room was like... right near reception and there's like a small window where people can see us so if workers/guests were walking around, they might have caught us doing that. so yeah. no decorum whatsoever.

i kissed him goodbye at the train station when he dropped me off (I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING WHEN SOBER, I WOULDN'T EVEN HUG SOMEONE WHEN LEAVING UNLESS THEY GO IN FOR THE HUG FIRST SO BITCH), before i hopped my drunk ass on the train to get home (and now i cannot stop thinking about it for the life of me!!! fuck me!! and i also can't stop wishing i kissed him for longer LMFAO). he ended up staying at a hotel (i'm so thankful i didn't stay with him or else things might have happened and i would have woken up to true regretfulness).

saturday morning, i wake up with a slight hangover (so worse than what happened the week before this when i got drunk as shit) he messages me and says he enjoyed my company, both drunk and sober and i was like... oh. because i thought he didn't enjoy my company while sober LMFAO, but i guess i was wrong (or maybe he was being polite, i have no clue). and now i'm seeing him again this week saturday for a small picnic with the promise we won't be drinking any sort of alcohol. AND IDK MAYBE I'M STUPID but i think he might be feeling me a little? he's more fun over text than in person tbvh, but again, first meet ups are usually a lil' awkward ahaha. and like... he's chill and i wanna see where this goes. (all i can say is, guys definitely get vvvv clingy when they're drunk! you break that touch barrier earlier on and they'll be all up in your personal space esp when you decide to add a few drinks to the mix lmfao. and yeah i only got drunk with like two dudes so the sample size isn't big but ya know??). i know his ass remembers what happened even if we never explicitly talked about it, but i ain't even embarrassed about it at this point. i just find it so funny lkwnfklwenf

as for the mixed signals guy... the dude who kissed me while drunk and got all clingy with me? the one who told me a few days later that he liked someone else? the one who was supposed to watch the fuckin' barbie movie with me? he flaked on my ass LAST MINUTE so he could go have a study date with the girl he likes. (that girl, according to him, doesn't like him back, and he's been pissy about it ever since.)

this guy is a MESS. he keeps reiterating that we're friends and nothing more so i'm acting like a friend towards him even though he probably doesn't fucking deserve my friendship considering how he could so easily flake on a friend after they planned a hang out with him over a WEEK in advance. a whole fucking week, with solid plans, and he fucking flakes. all because he wants to see the girl he's simping after. rude ass fucking bitch! that is not a good friend quality to have at all. inconsiderate, if you ask me. thank fuck i was able to find another friend to go with me.

there's also a lot of shit going on with him and the more i talk to him, the more i'm like... my god, i should probably drop him. i've been telling my friends about it and they're like "is this man okay? you sure you still wanna talk with him?" and i'm starting to think - no, i don't. he has hella issues, thinks getting into a relationship is the only means of having someone care about him (completely disregarding the fact that friends can care about you, too, sometimes even more than a partner does), and he's done questionable shit in the past. he also says really questionable shit.

and, like, don't get me wrong, i wanna be there for him and like... i can partially see why he might be the way he is today, but we had a conversation about it last night and he basically tried to push me away and i'm out here like - why would you ask me to be your friend when your end goal is to push me away? why ask for someone to care about you when this is the shit you do???? you can't be there for someone who simply just doesn't want to get their shit together. it gets draining really fucking quickly.

oh, not to mention, he ghosted all of his friends when he got with his now ex so fucking gg, mate. he seems to expect me to do the same with him when i get into a relo and i'm like... motherfucker, i'm not you. assuming i'd do that, just because you did that yourself, is just so hurtful. a complete red flag of a human being, if you ask me. if he continues to be like this then i'm taking the left exit. i don't need this shit in my life, right now or ever.

[deeptrashwitch]

A Haunting Past (pt. 7)

Tw: I think there's no warnings in this one either, but I'll the thankful if you tell me if I missed a trigger warning!

Taglist: @stuffireadandenjoy @snootlestheangel @alypink @islandtarochips @justasmolbard

@mctvsh @midnight193 @tapioca-milktea1978 @welldonekhushi @mutantthedark

Alicia wasn't sure how much time has passed, but when she woke up...the light made her squint her eyes with a groan, not this shit again. Her eyes weren't burning anymore, instead her throat hurted and she felt heavy and tired, with the ghost of a experience near death once again over her shoulder. As she straightened up, all her muscles ache, it definitely was a bad idea use your own body as a ram.

The medic bay was a common sight for her, not for good reasons unfortunately, so she was used to it. It was almost empty except for one person, she got surprised when she noticed Alejandro there, sleeping on an uncomfortable posicion. And at the moment she made an slight sound, he woke up, sighing with relieve as he walked towards her.

"I'm glad you're awake, amor" he said, hugging her carefully

"Alejo? What-? How much did I sleep?" she asked, surprised by her own harsher voice "the fuck...?"

"A day, you were out for a day"

"...I see. I love seeing you here, but, who called you? Was it Wraith?"

"Surprisingly enough, it was Luke" Alejandro said, helping her to move a bit "I was surprised and worried, hearing that you collapsed after that mission. Mostly after hearing to what were you exposed to"

"There's any longing effects?"

"You're unbeliavably lucky, your voice will be a bit harsher, but nothing else"

"That's a relieve, and how's my cousin?"

"Safe and mostly sound, some minor injuries. Elías is fine"

Alicia sighed with relieve as well, now looking at her hands, this time the scars felt more vivid than usual, like they were recently made. She closed her eyes, but she opened them up again when the images of that site came again, running through that hallways...was seeing that day again. Carefully Alejandro made her look at him, with the Colonel worried when he noticed the tiredness and sadness inside her eyes.

"What's going on? I haven't see you like this ever" he asked in a whisper

"It's nothing, I promise"

"Amor, Wraith was talking to me when I arrived, seriously isn't anything?" he murmured holding her hand "panick attacks, nights when you don't sleep, sudden mood changes...that's something serious"

"No...it's not" she muttered as her jaw tensed as a wire "there's nothing wrong"

"Please, Alicia, I know you well enough to know that something is off. Let me help you"

"No, this is my shit to lead with"

"It doesn't have to be, you don't have to take care of everything" Alejandro said, looking at her sadly "let me help you carry this, maybe even solve it"

"...I can't" she answered with broken voice, looking away "if I let any of you get near to this, I'll loose you, I'll loose everything again"

"How do you know that? Why are you so sure?"

"Because it happened once and it's happening again..." she muttered without being able to look at him as her eyes filled with tears "I don't want to loose anyone like that, I can't bear it"

"Alicia..."

"I know, I know, it's fucking selfish, but please let me do this on my own, let me solve it. Don't let me see my kids die in front of me, I just want them to live"

Alejandro hugged her tightly, and as Alicia felt her partner grip and warmth, she hid her face on his neck. Silently she started to cry, sobbing while the height of everything that happened finally dropped over her. She felt like she was crumbling and also the world around her, but Alejandro just hold her, whispering comforting things on her ear also kissing her hair softly.

Once she calmed down, he just whipped away her tears and looked at her in the eye.

"Better?" he asked

"Not quite" she said with a sigh "sorry you had to see me like this"

"Don't apologize, sometimes is good to let it out, and I'll never judge you"

"Hmm, thanks Alejo" she hummed, smiling slightly

"Anytime, and what are you gonna do now? About what you said"

"...I think they need to know"

"You sure?"

"It'll be worst if I don't tell them, and I can think of many questions that all that happen will arise" she said with a long sigh "also I imagine what was inside that site"

"Well then, let's ask Wraith help" he said,kissing her cheek "if you feel like you can't bear it, tell me and I'll take you out. Promise me that you won't push your mind that bad"

"...Promise"

Soon they walked towards the conference room where Wraith reunited all the team, with Alicia being a bit nervous, but she lifted her head. Once inside, they noticed how every member of the team was looking sick worried. And the first to notice them was Francis, who stood up suddenly with a relieved expression, making everyone look their direction.

"Captain!" he exclaimed, sighing relieved

"Hey boys, it's good to see you all" she said with an ashamed smile

Before anyone could say anything, Jackson stood up violently as he frowned, throwing the chair behind him. When Elijah and Nicholas tried to grab him to contain him, they were stopped by Luke and Edward as they shook their head silently. The medic walked towards his Captain, just to grab her by the shirt while he started to scream, alerting Alejandro.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" he shouted, frowning and all red in the face "YOU COULD'VE DIED DOWN THERE!"

"..." Alicia looked at Alejandro, silently asking him to stay still

"ANSWER ME GODDAMNIT! WHY DID YOU TOOK YOUR FUCKING MASK OFF?! WHY DID YOU STAY BEHIND?!" he screamed as his voice broke too and his eyes got filled with tears "why did you make me leave you behind?!"

"...I couldn't see you die down there, none of you will die if I have something to say about it"

"And how is better that you died instead?!"

"It's not, but I prefer die and let you live"

"Then you would have died for us?! Do you know how much that hurts?!" he asked, leaving Alicia frozen "I...I felt like a fucking shit when I exit that place, the thought of leaving you there to die...damnit Alicia, it was like I had a weight on my shoulders. The weight of your life"

"Jackson..."

He deflated as he rested his head on her shoulder, probably the nearest gesture of a hug he'll ever do. Meanwhile Alicia was almost shaking as she thought of what he said, and then she was brought back to the day of the funerals of the 267...she was charged with the weight of their lifes. What was she doing? She almost condemned her team to that same painful fate.

"I could only feel hate towards me for obeying that stupid order, and I...just wanted to say sorry"

"...It isn't your fault" she whispered, putting a hand over his back "I'm sorry, kid, I'm so sorry"

They stayed like that for a minute, with the team in silence, but making echo of Jackson's feelings in the middle of it. When Wraith saw that the mood was calmed, she called Alicia's attention, making her share looks with her. She made a silent question, just to be sure if she really wanted to do this, to which Alicia answered with a nod.

"What do we have?" Alicia asked Wraith as she walked towards her

"Oficially, White Tiger and their branch is gone, twenty four mercenaries" the agent said with a sigh "you were right, a chemical attack"

"Substance?"

"The same as in Lebanon"

"Well fuck"

"Mhmm, and the information that Elías' team found was securely sent to the Swiss Army and the Swiss Intelligence" she said with a sigh "we already sent them to Bern while he regained consciousness, he has no longer lasting effects either"

"Good to know, there's something we need to know?"

"This"

Wraith gave her an envelope with a regretful look, and Alicia raised an eyebrow with confussion before opening it. And as she did, she had to close her eyes for a second before looking at them again. There were pictures, images taken during her time MIA, when they were in their worst state.

"I ask you again, are you sure you wanna do this?"

"...Yes, it's time to tell them about this before it takes a turn to the worst"

"Tell us what?" Luke asked, confused

"My past, and the reason I've so unstable" she said, looking at them "these people have played with those memories, triggering them and repeating the worst part of it. You need to know...before I do something stupid"

"That means..."

"I'll tell you about the Case Broken Statue"

[obsidiancreates]

You Made Skrimm Give A Shit

Torbek has a lot of dreamless sleep, and a lot of sleep with distressing dreams. His dreams are rarely kind to him.

They do try, though.

Torbek falls asleep after a long day of climbing the Harris Wheel for Mr. Kremy, climbing trees and plucking out people who flew out of the Harris Wheel for Mr. Kremy, moving heavy boxes for Mr. Kremy, and drinking for himself.

He dreams he's sitting around a campfire with Mr. Kremy, Mr. Gideon, Gricko, and Frost. He dreams they're laughing with him. He dreams he's more than an employee to them, and Mr. Kremy hands him a week of wages, and it's perfect.

"Hey, hey!"

Torbek looks down.

A different goblin than Gricko stands at Torbek's feet. His patched-up hat with it's wide brim is unable to conceal the scowl on his face as he looks up at Torbek, arms crossed and little coat gently billowing around him in the dream breeze.

"Hmmm?"

"Torbek, you gotta listen up." The goblin confidently climbs right up Torbek like he's done it a million times, plants his feet firmly on Torbek's shoulders, and grabs the bugbear by his furry cheeks. "Kremy is conning you, got it? He has no intentions of ever paying you, so you're gonna have to steal it from him or find a different job!"

"What? Noooo, Mr. Kremy is the bestttt." Torbek goes to push the goblin off of his face, but... nothing happens. Torbek doesn't question it, as is the nature of dreams.

"He is not! He is a scamming, conning, conniving warlock, just like me! Trust me, I know it when I see it, and he'll never pay you even a copper! I wouldn't!"

"Mr. Kremy promises it'll happen someday."

"It's a lie! He's lying to your face! Come on, I love drinking as much as the next guy, but we need payment of something other than booze! We need coin! Funds! Money!"

"You've tried this a thousand times, Skrimm," a voice calls from somewhere else- Torbek can't turn to look, not with this "Skrimm" holding his face the way he is. "It's never going to sink in."

"Shut it, Felix! It'll get through to him at some point! I mean my gods, aren't you tired of seeing this?! It's worse than watching Marius putz around being noble all the time!"

"Whaaaat? Torbek is very confused."

"Don't mind them, they're a buncha heroic types, set out to do good things on purpose even at their own risk and all that. You and me are built different, buddy, but I'm built way too much like that bastard over there-"

He jerks a black-nailed thumb to point at Kremy, who's just sitting there, vague and blurry.

"-to believe in him like you do. Steal your wages, go get wasted at a nice inn, and get the hell outta dodge. He's so shady that he literally has shadow magic."

"But Mr. Kremy is the smartest, most amazing person Torbek has eeeeever met!"

"Torbek, I'm speaking to you goblinoid to goblinoid, there is no possible way that Kremy will ever consider you more than a naive fool he can take advantage of. The day that Kremy actually decides to try to help you is the day I tell Marius he's right."

"Uhhhh, Torbek doesn't know why that matters."

"It's a whole thing! I know you've gotta have some of my brains in there somewhere!" Skrimm lightly slaps Torbek's cheek a couple times. "There's no possible way you can't see that guy for what he is!"

"Uhhhh..." Torbek's eyes cross as the dream begins to fade into pitch blackness.

Skrimm looks around frantically. "Oh, no, don't you dare wake up now!"

"I told you."

"Shut UP Felix!"

"Bye Mr. Skrimm." Torbek tries to raise an arm to wave, but it just twitches as his consciousness in the real world begins to return.

"No no no, I'm trying to help you for gods' sa-!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marius looks down at Skrimm with a slight smirk. "Felix tells me you try to help Torbek again."

Skrimm keeps his arms crossed, his spiritual form sitting on top of Torbek's head and faced away from the paladin below.

"One could say that, with all of these attempts to talk sense into him, you are... always aiding?"

"Fuck off, pretty boy."

"I knew I'd get through to you."

"If we weren't ghosts I'd hex you right here right now."