#[I Am Sin Oh So Holy; Demon AU]

[pencilofawesomeness]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @kiliinstinct so let's go

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Okay so the number on my account is a slight lie because I have two anthology-type fics with many fics inside of them like an egg sac, and in htryds’ case I took all of them out and separated them and I pulled one out of the other so.... 130 unique works. And if I count the oneshots shoved inside my 2021 Whumptober anthology, then 159.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

This also requires some math for the above reason so.... 948,078. (Holy cow I am so close to one million, wait—)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Fairy Tail, Genshin Impact, and Twisted Wonderland, in that order, buttttt I have a few other fandoms under my belt and I am known to branch out on a whim. (Others include Voltron, RWBY, Fullmetal Alchemist, Seven Deadly Sins, Arrowverse, Transformers, Owl House, and literally so many others that I haven't actually published...)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Alright, we got:

—5. Demon Tales [Fairy Tail] - 762 —4. The Eighth Tower [Fairy Tail] - 914 —3. Sparks in the Night [Genshin Impact] - 1,066 —2. Pain Comes in Many Forms (and so does Comfort): Whumptober 2021 [Genshin Impact] - 1,121 —1. Of Dragons and Fairies [Fairy Tail] - 1,405

(So I guess, to no one's surprise, it's mainly HTRYDS but I will say I continue to be baffled by Sparks in the Knight, that random twoshot I wrote in two days XD)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love responding to comments, both because it's fun and I love to let people know that I totally did read and enjoy their comment. (And I've even been able to just chat with people this way, beyond the scope of the fic itself, which is a fun little community feature I do enjoy as well.) If there's a comment I haven't replied to, it's probably because somehow it was marked as read and therefore I forgot to go back and respond.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm that is a tough one. I do tend to want to end things on a lighter note, despite the amount of whump I write... Maybe Mortal Instinct, actually, since I pull a bit of a (self-perceived) fate-worse-than-death bit. Though solely by audience reaction I guess it's Coming Home since I left it on a purposeful note of suspense, eheh.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh geez, um... I think a lot of them?? Have very happy endings?? Uhhh maybe I'll just say Of Dragons and Fairies, then, because it's meant to be very hopeful and family-shaped, with that bright future ahead.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No not really, actually. I have had a very good experience, especially on AO3.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Ha. No. (Guys I'm so aroace I barely write romance I will probably never write smut XD)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes actually! Not many that are finished/posted, but boy I actually love them a lot. (Many live in my head in amorphous form to be honest.) Most are AUs, so like the world of X with the characters of Y, but for straight-up crossovers, I think the craziest is The A.I.D. Files which is a co-project with @therosefrontier where we have a longstanding universe where we combine literally everything into a multi-sectioned multiverse, and the story focuses on an agency that is comprised of people from all manner of universes, leading to a team that includes Tech E. Coyote, Dani Phantom, Iggy (from Maximum Ride), Jim Hawkins, Numbah 5, and more. That said, there's not any present plans to continue it even though it lives on in our heads XD

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

There is one! (That I know of, lol.) Sparks in the Night was translated (into a paraphrased version, at least) into German, which can be found here.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yup. With my sister, over the years. Not really a direct one on AO3 though. (Just a shared storyverse or series there.)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Uhhhh I am not really a shipper at all, so I don't really have a hill I will die on, even though I do have ships I enjoy.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I hold onto the delusional hope that I will go back and finish all of my wips one day because I haven't abandoned them in my heart, but, I doubt I will finish United because it was a largely original world and I have been scheming for a way to make it an original work altogether, so when I revisit it, it will probably be for that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Um. I like to think I do good character voice/inner monologue. Strength of tone and syntax and all that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fight scenes pain me and I also am not great at scenic/setting descriptions, mostly because I forget.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

In most cases I think there are better ways to go about it, but it has its place. Especially if the POV character doesn't know it and is trying to learn or pick up words. (Essentially it boils down to making sure the experience is understandable and authentic to the reader's promised language, otherwise it is just a surprise obstacle/gate, like expecting a reader to understand excessive medical jargon in order to know what is happening. If the language is meant to be understood by the pov character, and therefore the audience, then I feel it's best to offer a direct translation in some way.)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sonic the Hedgehog. In a place. That I will not name because I was very young. But it was Sonic the Hedgehog...

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oh geez um picking favorites is hard. The How to Raise Your Dragon Slayers series as a whole is obviously my baby and I am very biased towards it, but one of my favorite pieces might actually be a FMA/MHA au oneshot that I lost in a harddrive crash and I am haunted by it because I wrote it in a frenzy of inspiration and honestly I think it slapped. XD

-

Okay so let's see which victims to tag... (Though obviously there's no pressure to do this lol): @therosefrontier, @forwantofacalling, @breezy-cheezy, @ljf613, @xxthe-hidden-spyxx, and whoever else wants to do it

[jesterchan]

✝️💜🖤~Exorcism Of Lust~🖤💜✝️ (Part 2!) (NSFW!)

Priest AU!

A Priest Sun, Moon, And Eclipse X Possessed Female Reader Story...

NSFW Warning!

Content Warning: French Kissing, Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Cream Pies, Triple Penetration, Religious Themes, Fingering, And Praise Kink...

Eclipse's POV:

I was praying to god...

After finishing my prayers, I spend my free time reading the Bible.

I read at peace until...

"Father Eclipse!" a female voice called.

I dropped my Bible out of startlement. I picked up the book, irritated. I turned around to see Sister Vanessa running towards me.

She halted to draw breath and adjusted her gown.

"Any troubles Sister?" I ask, dusting the book with my arm.

"Something is happening to Father Sun and Moon!" she cried.

My eyes widened as I nearly dropped my book. I try to keep calm and not panic.

I walked towards her and questioned, "What is happening to them right now?"

"They are being lured by a possessed woman! They began doing blasphemous acts that you wouldn't even imagine!"

Tears well up in her eyes as she looked down. She then starts to weep.

I gasped and replied, "Oh goodness, Thanks for informing me. I shall take care of it immediately!"

I sprinted to seize a jeweled cross, a key, and some holy water.

I rushed downstairs, into the dungeon only to find an incredibly unholy scene.

(✝️💜🖤~Smut Starts Here~🖤💜✝️)

Father Sun was French kissing a nude S/C H/C-haired demon woman, (Unless you have no hair.) and she looked at me with sinful E/C eyes.

Father Moon, on the other hand, was licking her folds and fingering her. She moaned as her lips parted from Sun's, Leaving connected strings of drool.

"Father Sun! What are you doing?!" I interrupted

He looked at me with eyes full of lust, he sat up and suggested, "~Come play Eclipse...~"

Father Moon stopped licking, turned around, and pleaded "Please..."

I courageously held my adorned cross and approached them. The woman hissed and used her power to hinder me from approaching.

The power was so strong that I was thrown and collided with the stone walls. I recovered, but to my dismay, the jeweled cross sliced into pieces.

Just when I was about to grab my holy water...

"Eclipse don't!" Father Moon shouted.

I put it down and turned to Moon, wondering what he had to say.

"We are helping her! We are purifying her!" he said

"How?" I ask

"By filling her... With our holy seed..." he moaned out.

"No!" I shook my head, turned around to the wall, and said, "There has to be another way..."

"Her power is too strong for the cross, holy water, and the Bible combined..." Sun explained, his rays wilted like a flower.

"Well..." I turned back at them, "If those don't work..."

I removed my attire and unlocked my modesty plate, which revealed two large tentacle cocks.

"We'll have no choice but to sin..." my tentacle cocks wiggled and swirled about.

I clasped my hands and pleaded.

"Forgive me, Lord, as I am about to sin..."

I approached the bed and crept to the woman.

"What's your name?" I ask.

"My name is... Y/N..." she seductively replied, letting out a slight chuckle.

"~That's a beautiful name...~" I praised before cupping my enormous hands on her cheek.

I left kisses all over her shoulders and neck. She moaned and kissed my lips. I couldn't help but let the temptation take over me.

Third Person's POV:

Eclipse nuzzled into Y/N's B/S chest, he caressed them softly, causing her to quietly moan.

He played with her nipples, pinching them harshly.

Her moans increased in volume due to sensitivity. She yanked her head back.

Moon lined his cock and lubricated her folds before softly penetrating inside.

He started with slow delicate thrusts, feeling her tight walls. He softly moaned due to her tight entrance.

Y/N's mouth was then crammed up with Sun's cock, like Moon, he thrusts gently. Trying his best not to destroy her jaw.

Eclipse toyed with his two cocks, waiting for his turn. He could hardly wait to destroy Y/N's demon.

Moon gave a couple of swift powerful thrusts before loading her up with his holy seed.

Sun moaned as he came at the same time, he filled up Y/N's throat will his seed. He panted a little bit, but he wasn't done yet. He then carefully pulled out his cock.

Eclipse let out a groan as he ejaculated strings of semen.

"Move along Father Moon, it's my turn..." he said.

Moon moved away from Y/N, letting Eclipse take over. He lined his cocks and began thrusting at a standard pace.

Y/N began to stroke Father Sun and Moon's cocks, she would suck one of them off and switch at times.

Eclipse plowed into Y/N's entrance like a feral beast. They both screamed in pleasure, Thrusts so erratic, which then resulted in a filling orgasm.

He pulled out, stroked himself, and strings of seed decorated her body.

She devilishly smiled at him, gathered his semen, and tasted the fluid.

"Come along Father Sun, it's your turn..." He gestured for Sun to take over.

Sun crawled on the bed, lubricated Y/N's folds, and penetrated inside her used hole. Like Father Moon, he started softly.

"Our little lamb, our poor little lamb... May the Lord cure you with his holy seed..." He praised as he moaned in between his sentences.

Y/N looked at him, eyes full of remorse. She panted as his pace slowly hastened up. His hand cupped her cheek and pressed his lips on hers.

Tongues twist and swirl around while their saliva blends in. Each thrust hits harder than the previous.

After a few impactful thrusts, Sun's seed stuffed up her tight entrance. She moaned, took deep breaths, and sat up.

Her wings quivered and her tail slowly swished. They start to noticeably shrink. However, the shrinking halted midway.

"The demon is starting to leave her body..." Moon pointed out.

"This is a good sign, Father Moon. We shall penetrate all of Y/N's holes to expel the demon once and for all." Eclipse suggested.

"Let the purification... Begin..." Sun chimed in.

Y/N went on hands and knees, her legs spread out, allowing Father Sun to penetrate her entrance from underneath.

Father Moon knelt and jammed his cock into her mouth.

Finally, Eclipse approached her from behind, his two large cocks penetrated both her arse and vaginal holes, double penetrating her entrance.

The three priests all began to softly thrust inside Y/N. She moaned on Father Moon's cock. Father Eclipse's two large cocks make their way through her holes.

She moaned and looked down at Sun.

"Such an obedient lamb... I beg you to cum for us."

The three priests start to quicken the pace. Y/N begins to feel a little weary.

Her holes being used repeatedly for a long period is starting to drain not only her stamina but her demon powers as well.

The room was filled with moans and skin-slapping.

Her demon wings started to shrink and her tail began to disappear. Purity starts to wash over her.

After a few powerful thrusts, the three priests crammed her up with their cum. Her walls fluttered for the last time.

They all carefully pulled out. Their cocks spurt out the remaining semen on her body as they all got off of her.

She then lays down on the side, her legs shaking. She slowly took deep breaths and shivered due to the chill temperature.

Father Sun hurried to grab a warm fluffy blanket and covered her nude body.

(✝️💜🖤~Smut Ends Here~🖤💜✝️)

Y/N's opened her E/C eyes and sat up.

"Y/N? Are you there?" Eclipse asked, hoping she would act her usual self.

She nodded and examined her body. She smiled and replied, "Thank you for banishing the demon..."

"You're welcome." the three priests said in unison.

She then started to feel drowsy, and her eyelids felt heavy.

"Want us to take you to a more comfortable room..." Father Moon offered.

"Yes, Father Moon..." she replied.

Father Moon carried Y/N bridal style and walked her to a bedroom. The other priests followed

The bedroom looked adorned and cozy. He placed her on a huge bed full of pillows. He covered her with a blanket as she lay down.

Moon chose to join her, he looked at Father Eclipse and Sun.

The two priests then joined them and cuddled. Y/N giggled as they delivered hugs and kisses.

"Thank you all again for getting rid of that demon!" she starts to yawn and get comfy.

"That's our purpose, to purify others and give hope." Father Eclipse explained.

She smiled and said, "Well, I have to rest now."

"Good night Y/N!" Father Sun said, chuckling a bit.

Y/N then slowly drifted off to sleep...

✝️💜🖤~The End~🖤💜✝️

Have an idea for a one-shot? Let me know in the comments below! I can't wait to hear your ideas!

Note: Pick four emojis at most for a one-shot you want! Pick two hearts for a type of one-shot that you want!

[enquiringangel]

Ooh, could I get a DVD commentary on Sacrilege?

You most certainly can!

From this meme here. The fic in question is here.

Sacrilege

The idea for this one was born from the single image of David and Michael doing the nasty in a church. This in turn was, at least subliminally, inspired by a scene in the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime where Ryou Bakura is trying to escape from the evil spirit that frequently possesses him by running into a church. In that scene the church utterly fails to offer him protection just as it does here.

The last time Michael had set foot in a church was for his grandmother’s funeral years before. He’d been eleven. 

This is based on a throwaway line by Lucy where she says her mom died eight years ago. As Michael is meant to be going into his senior year after the events of the summer, he's eighteen. Also from dialogue in deleted scenes trips to visit Santa Carla may have happened while he was a kid, but the Emerson kids and Grandpa are very much strangers to one another.

Michael is by his own admission not even a religious person and neither am I, though faith as a topic fascinates me. There are a few pieces of imagery I put in like Michael turning away from the cross and the 'sad-faced saint' that are meant to reflect this and the futility of the whole endeavour.

David's shadow covering up the altar was maybe a little heavy-handed of me, but the devil in folklore (who is not quite the same figure as Satan) is usually depicted as the Man in Black. In Robert Eggers' movie The Witch, he also appears wearing spurs, so the detail of David's spurs jangling was one I had to include.

His mouth was curled in a faint smirk—Caught you, again those lips seemed to say—but the look in his eyes was one of bitter disappointment.  

David wants Michael, but it's not enough to have him. He wants Michael to want to be there, of his own volition (because the devil doesn't just take souls, you have to surrender them to him) which in this AU where I imply the vampires won and killed his family, is not something that is likely to happen. They are, as my tags warn, in a deeply dysfunctional relationship.

“You know,” David began conversationally as he plucked a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it. “My folks were Catholic. Went to mass every Sunday, confessed away their many sins. Never did either of them a blind bit of good. Or me.[...]"

This is venturing into entirely made-up headcanon backstory stuff. I pictured that David's grandparents were Irish immigrants fleeing the Potato Famine by coming to America. You will note that while he says his parents were Catholic, he doesn't consider himself to have been so. This is also for backstory reasons that David was largely on his own from a young age and was too focused on surviving to bother about going to church. (Unless it was to steal money from the collection plate.)

The discussion about the church's ineffectiveness at keeping vampires out is a bit of worldbuilding based on a few things. My assumption is that it is the power of faith that gives holy items their sting, rather than Christianity having some special claim to vanquishing evil. But also on a vaguely remembered piece of apocrypha to the effect of 'no building of wood or stone' being necessary to house god because god is everywhere (I cannot for the life of me remember where this comes from and google is failing me). But it's also inspired by the demon BlueFangs in Netflix's Castlevania adaptation, who taunts the corrupt bishop by saying: "God is not here. This is an empty box." (cw: gore)

My cw against misrepresentation of religion is for the discussion of Wicca, where David and Michael assume all Wiccans are women and that they always practice their religion naked. Neither is true, but they are (mentally at least) teenage boys content to indulge in the fiction of conventionally attractive white ladies dancing around ritual bonfires in the nude. Plus it's the 80s and Wicca is an 'alternative religion' and not something most people are likely to be well-informed about unless they have either researched it or dabbled.

The lead up to their coupling is violent with Michael actually maiming David by tearing a lump out of his throat, because I feel like this is how vampires roll, especially if they can heal very quickly. I don't subscribe to the trope that vampire bites feel pleasant per se, at least not to humans. It's more a case of "Hmm, how kinky are you".

Which in Michael's case here, is very.

And of course the closing image is David mocking the very idea of a god who could keep him from Michael.

[ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive]

“It came from a weird specialty store.” Lust lied blatantly. It is no lie there are some odd shops in this human city. That is beside the point. “Why am I supposed to know it is shaped the way it is? Is there not odd candy and treats all over earth?” The demon frowned. “Never mind. I knew you would not like it. And mother said you like to eat sweets. She lied to me.” 

@creatorofclay // cont

[merakiui]

Oh god, The Leech twins railing darling in church and getting caught by Rollo is not something I thought I'd be thinking this morning-- *sweats*

Okay but now that you're giving me these Rollo thoughts (TW: religious guilt-tripping, verbal abuse, torture (starvation, whipping, burning, etc.)) yea okay now imagine that Rollo finally gets to isolate darling from the world, and now he's dead-set on "correcting their ways". He'd start with whatever is the equivalent of Bible lessons in Twisted Wonderland, having them recite those Bible passages then guilt-tripping them for their whorish (that only goes on in his head, while in reality they never did (except if u count the times they involuntarily became the twin's plaything)) behaviors. I just know this man would be a pro in guilt-tripping, shaming darling in the most eloquent way as possible until darling themselves actually believes they're the one in the wrong. And even when they did do good, his praises only go with something along the lines of "this is still the baseline of basic decency, you'd do well not to forget it". Disobedience could lead to punishments such as not giving darling their meals and leaving them without food or water for days (and no, even if he did give them food in the first place, they'd still sit lower than him on the table or on the floor, take your pick). He wouldn't hesitate to even use drastic measures like whipping them or even as drastic as burning them with candle wax (I'm also thinking of him branding them with the devil's insignia just to accentuate his words of darling being the devil's spawn or somethin--).

Anyway yea, I rewatched the Hunchback of Notredame recently and have been playing Hellfire on loop so seeing that ask really opens the gate that floods my thoughts sdjksdkdslsdkl-- I still am curious about the leech twin railing darling in church tho, cause I once saw an art of Religion AU with Devil Floyd and Priest Jade just railing the fuck out Nun Darling lol

-heyyy 11

Omg yes!!! OTL I once saw a fanart of priest Azul with angel Floyd and demon Jade and...yes. <3 there was also this one where the twins were incubi. But priest Jade?!??!! OOOOOHHH!!! he would be the most corrupt priest...

The idea of a nun!darling working alongside priest!Rollo, only to be slowly, methodically corrupted by two demon twins is very good. And it's even better if they mark you and Rollo finds out. >:) Poor nun!darling tries so hard to stay pure and unaffected by temptation, praying each and every night and day, visiting Rollo for blessings, going to the confessional, but nothing ever seems to work. You've even tried warding them off with holy water and other blessed objects. Yet, despite everything, they still persist.

Aaa your thoughts are so good! Rollo would be so cruel and it's all to uphold his beliefs and the idea that he's pure, not at all tempted by you, and that you're the filthy one. I also like to imagine some of his punishments are quite medieval in nature. Rollo makes you wear a scold's bridle if he suspects you've been lying to him about all of the salacious deeds you most certainly did behind his back when he was kind enough to allow you a modicum of freedom. He tells you you ought to feel lucky that they no longer burn witches at the stake, for if the time period was different you'd find yourself engulfed in flames for such sinful witchcraft. He seems so delusional when he clings to his beliefs in this manner, and you suspect he genuinely believes that this is the right course of action.

I like to imagine that if you made a pact/contract with a demon of any type he would want to carve the contract stamp from your skin, even if such a thing can't be removed by mortal hands. He definitely forces isolation upon you as a punishment. You're put in a small, cold, cramped room with hardly any light, the window is blocked with thick iron bars, and you aren't permitted freedom until he thinks you've learned your lesson. Sitting there in the dark, alone with your thoughts, is bound to fray your sanity if the punishment is given to you enough times. And you might even find yourself accepting what little 'love' Rollo has for you at the end of it, if only to stop this torturous abuse and placate him, hoping to prove to him that you're pure and cleansed.

[herwritingartcowboy]

Another Universe

This is an Au. Okay bye butterflys.

****

Fandom: Seven deadly sins

Warning(s): Fluff, (Maybe) Angst

Character(s): Mael, Elizabeth, Meliodas, Tristan

****

{Not My Gif}

This is a story of a demon falling in love with a goddess. But instead the daughter of the Supreme Deity he fell in love with one of her guards. 

The oldest son of the demon king met you during battle as you told Elizabeth you can handle him but you both fell in love.

You both kept it hidden from many until Elizabeth noticed you leaving and when some of the other guards asked where you’ve been you would tense up, not speaking. Elizabeth followed you, as you being her best friend she wanted to make sure you were safe. 

But she discovered something that will change everything. It was you and the demon king's eldest son. She hoped you were just acting and for you to attack him but that look on your face she knew you fell in love with a demon. 

When she got back to the goddess realm she didn’t know what to do. ‘Did he seduce them’ ‘why must you do this’. 

But she did what she had to, she told her mother and you were on trial. “Y/n are you sorry for what you have done” “I am not”.

You were trying your hardest to get away from the arch’s but they had you cornered till a bright light came as you shall Elizabeth take your hand and run.

This was a war only ending with you all dying being cursed alongside Elizabeth is to die and come back to life. 

You met Meliodas in every life as he fell more in love with you. Elizabeth would always be the first to remember and every time she did she would question Meliodas. 

“I love her so much more than you could understand” “I just want what's best for her” “You want to know what's best for her” “And what would that be” “Leave her alone, she isn’t a child”. Elizabeth was left shocked by the male demon's words, she cared for your health that is why she stood by her side.

Mael he was upset you were the person who took him away from the woman he loved. Because you couldn’t keep your lust to yourself. But he missed the both of you. He just wanted everything the way it was before. Every goddess knew you wouldn’t do this but blamed it on Meliodas.

The demon race is the same but no estarossa. 

But when it was all over you and Meliodas ran away together only for a few to know where the two of you are. In this timeline with the money you had for being a holy knight and Elizabeth favoring you, the two of you were able to live together now in peace.

“Angel are you okay” “Oh yeah just a little off” “Why, are you okay” “Oh no i’m fine just happy to finally be happy to be with you now”. Meliodas just smiled up at you as he hugged your waist resting his head on your chest. 

“So wanna go play with Aramis” “Sure let’s not let him wait for long”. 

Blue eyes open as they turn to the druid in front of them. “And that would have happened if Meliodas and Y/n fell in love and not with you two”, Zaneri said as Mael was still thinking about what he just felt. Elizabeth just left to go look for the both of you to find you and Meliodas talking to S/n and Tritan. “And that is how you find that right meat” “Are you saying my cooking is bad” “Mel everything about you is bad” “Thank you” “Your welcome”.

“Boys don’t tell your mom or dad” “Okay”.

You were back home with your two boys but Mael seemed off. “Sunshine your ok-”, without finishing your sentence  Mael pulled you into a hug. “You mine okay not Meliodas”, you rubbed his back, as tears hit your shoulder. “Awe baby come on let me go make you something to eat, you like that huh”.

****

[ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive]

@creatorofclay “Oh joy. It’s the God father...or demon daddy. Take your pick.”

[sashi-ya]

NSFW ~ Demon! Zoro x Angel! F! Reader ~ Against Heaven and Hell - Chapter 2: I Have Found You

So, chapter 2 my loves it's finally here! I hope you all enjoy this second part that -surprise- is not the ending. Remember this fic is based on @undercoverweeeb request for SWE2.

Chapters: Ch1; Ch2; Final

Tw: Smut! soft degradation. Zoro turns into a demon while fucking reader so be aware of it. Rough sex. Unprotected sex.

AU: Demon/Angel - Canon divergence Wano Kuni.

A/N: For this fic, Zoro has long hair. I got inspired by this AMAZING artist.

I strongly suggest to read “Wanted” Oda’s canon comic. Specially “Monsters” chapter about Shimotsuki Ryuma’s story. My story involves not only Zoro but also Ryuma, so in case you don’t remember who is he, is the zombie samurai that gave Zoro the Shusui katana on Thriller Bark. You will also notice the name "Flare". Flare is Ryuma's canon first love (probably his wife, yet Oda didn't show us that tho). But, keep in mind she is included too.

Wc: 3.2K

A silver light filters through your eyelids. Pink leaves rain on you, yellow flickering bulbs dance all around. The sound of rumbling water catches your attention.

“Where am I?”

The shiniest half-moon you have ever seen stands out on a black sky. It looks like ice, like steel. Completely mesmerized by its beauty, “Shimotsuki” you think. That’s an ice moon.

Your body rests over a green cape on the ground. You stretch your arms, and you want to do the same with your wings, but you quickly remember you shouldn’t. Slowly, a little bit dizzy, you kneel on the ground taking the green cape and covering you. It’s not cold but you feel the need to cover your clothes with that cape. You feel secure with it over your shoulders.

“What’s this place? Wasn’t I at the Red Shrine before?”

There is a lake, and a waterfall. A man, sitting on some rocks meditating while the water springs bathe his head and shoulders. “Such a beautiful man” you think, slowly standing up from the ground. You walk towards the little coast, wary yet carefully. Driven like a bug to the light.

“Is that Zoro-san?”

And he suddenly opens his eyes, both of his eyes. You gasp, scared. That eye, the eye you thought he couldn’t open, the one he didn’t have… he has it. And it’s terrifying, yet beautiful. A ruby ball that shines even brighter than the moon, crimson stare that sends shivers down your spine.

Zoro quickly closes his eyelid and smirks. “Welcome, (Name)” he shouts and stands up. He is completely naked, tanned skin that shines with the moon like it doesn’t with the sun. Each muscle shown in his anatomy, a big scar crossing his chest. Long, silky green hair untied falls over his shoulders and back. You can even see something you have never seen before… “genitals” you mumble.

And you wonder if you also have those too… you have come to earth in a human form… Could it be? Could it be that I also have those?. And looking at him just makes you want to. Everything about that man invites you to sin. Everything.

The samurai stands up and jumps into the lake. His naked body submerges into the reflection of the moon over the water. You can see his green hair flow as he swims towards you. When he finally emerges, he pulls his wet hair back. The holy embodiment of the Original Sin right before your eyes.

Drops travel from his temples to the sharpest jaw you have ever seen. Zoro puts his two big hands on the shore and pulls himself out of the water in just a second. He stands right in front of you, showing you proudly his whole perfect body.

“Oi, why did you run away?” he asks, naturally. Completely unaware of his nudity. “Oh… Oh…” you babble, trying to look aside. You are sure that looking at a naked man is a sin. And due to the lack of your answers he grabs your chin and turns your head towards him.

“I asked you why you ran away earlier?” he insists. And there it is, once again you are able to smell that scent, steel, and blood. Blood and steel. “Because… you smell like blood” you tell him, trembling. “Haaah?” he asks, confused yet he doesn’t let go of your chin. “Like blood? I haven’t killed anyone yet”.

Your eyes open even wider… “You haven't killed anyone… yet?” you repeat, at this point not sure about how your quivering limbs hold you standing. “I’m not gonna hurt you” he says, letting go of your chin and walking towards his white yukata on the floor.

“Can I have my cape back, angel?”

You turn around, did he just call you “angel”? Zoro knows about your true nature?. “You can keep it if you want to” he says. But you walk towards him, close so close. He is tugging his katanas on the sash and suddenly stops realizing you are way too close to him. “Why did you call me angel? Did you bring me here?” you demand.

Zoro rises his brows and bends towards your face. “Because you look and smell like one, and yes I did” he says. “Aren’t you pure? You smell pure”. You swallow and begin walking backwards. Zoro follows you. “Pure? Why did you bring me here?” you ask. “Pure… as if no one has ever… touched your skin. And I brought you here because you told me you were going to show me that thing… the moon” Zoro responds, taking his hand closer to your waist. You are panting, you are scared yet fighting against the real need of him touching you.

Walking back, even more so he doesn’t touch you… back, back… “Angel!!” Zoro shouts as the ground beneath your feet turns into void, and you fall into the lake.

Everything turns blurry when your body submerges into the water. You don’t really know how to swim, the fine silk of your clothes flow all around you. You can only see the moon shining through the bubbles.

Suddenly, you are being pulled up by your waist. Oxygen, air. You take a big gasp of air. Strong, big biceps around your frame got you up. Zoro’s body pressed against yours. “You idiot, you don’t know how to swim” he scolds you, moving your wet strands of hair out of the way. You spit some water and realize Zoro has saved you.

For a moment both of you rest on each other’s stare, bathed by the bright moon above you. Fireflies dance around you. The crickets play a melody, and the frogs do the chorus. Zoro slowly slides the side of your wet kimono to discover the sun mark on your shoulder. “So pretty” he mumbles and traces the figure with his calloused fingers. “Why am I so attracted to it?”.

Your lips barely apart feel the tingling need to connect with Zoro’s. “This is a sin, this a sin” you repeat yourself. “A sin?” he asks. Soon you realize you have been repeating it out loud.

“Ha… want me to show you what’s a sin, little angel?”

Zoro lifts you up and sits you on a pair of rocks. He is still inside the water, and quickly takes his yukata off. Zoro throws the cloth off the water and smirks at you. “Your body is a whole sin, angel. Look at how pretty it is” he says. Your lips are trembling, you are breathing hard. This is a feeling you have never experienced before… you should stop…

...but you want this.

Zoro points at your body so you see it. You realize your silky kimono has turned completely see through because of the water. The clothes stick to your skin showing every piece of your anatomy. It turns cold, so something gets hard on your chest. Are these “nipples”? You try to remember the anatomy books you have read before coming to earth.

Zoro swims closer and grabs your knees. He spreads your legs so he could fit in between them. He passes his hands around your waist, and slowly approaches his lips to your belly. The green haired samurai plants a kiss over a little indentation you have. “I have a navel…?” you think, you wouldn’t believe an angel would have one. You weren’t born as a human; you were born as pure light. A light that soon will be stained by pure darkness.

But the kiss sends sensations directly to a place you don’t really know you had. Zoro smirks at you, a purple aura around him once again, when he notices you have discovered your most intimate zone. “So pure you didn’t even know you had this…” he mumbles and relishes, as the violet aura grows bigger around him.

“I want you to be my perfect sin, pure… so pure”.

He takes his nose to your thighs and smells your skin, while his hands slowly snake inside the wet kimono covering them. The three earrings tickle your skin, and your squirm with the single grazing of those hands. “What is this feeling? Why do I want it so bad if… if it’s not ok?” you keep asking yourself while the man in between your legs has already lifted your clothes. His prominent fangs grow even bigger, so big you can notice them with the slightest movement of his lips.

“Auch!” you whine when those fangs carved its form into your inner thigh flesh. “Hhhhg… you taste so good” he grunts. “Zoro-san… I shouldn’t…” you mumble, this is a sin. This is a sin…But Zoro keeps biting your skin, leaving marks all over your skin. Acting like a beast, like a… demon.

His face approaches that place, that place you didn’t know you have. He gloats at your saintly anatomy. His tongue approaches your entrance. You gasp. An exquisite sensation invades your whole body. You feel as if a shadow begins to crawl up on you.

“Ryu… Zoro…” you moan. You don’t even understand what this is, but you don’t want him to stop. Not yet. Please don’t… “I’ve been told virgins taste amazingly, but you are on a whole new level… what are you?” he says, muzzled by your core while desperately devouring you entirely. He pants as well as you, sometimes he looks at you and fixes both of his eyes. He struggles to keep the scarred one closed.

“I’m gonna ruin your angelic innocence… I’m gonna…” he grunts and gets out of the water. In a sudden motion his body is over you and pins your wrists against the rocks. His chest goes up and down, he drools over you. He drools so much he has to wipe away his saliva with his hand.

Zoro attacks your mouth; his fangs graze your lips. His tongue violates your cave and plays with your shy tongue. He breathes into you, and you breathe into him. The veins on his hand become swollen, nails grow just enough to look like subtle claws. Claws he uses to rip your damped clothes.

A devilish smirk drawn into his face when your body gets served before his eyes. Zoro laughs because he is about to rip away all of your light. You can’t stop him, and frankly you don’t want to. You have forgotten about sins, about disobeying any rules. There is something so tempting about this man… man?

He is not a man… “What are you, Zoro-San? Humans don’t look like that… don’t they?”

As his mouth attacks your chest, nibbling, licking, drooling over the taste of your skin, his arms and legs changes colors. Black patterns appear, just like tattoos. They look like <karakusa>, winding plants that grow from members whose skin is completely turned into an intense black. That purple aura grows bigger around him and includes you in it.

“What… What are you, Zoro?” you ask once again, trying to hold the man still to stop biting your skin. He places one of hands over your mouth, nails grazing your cheek. “Shut up, you little thing… you are willingly giving me all your pureness ok?” he says, clenching his teeth together. You look at him, lost into the need to keep feeling his tongue on your nipples and scared as hell. “Answer me!” he shouts. You nod until he takes his hand off your mouth. “I want … I want it” you mumble while your tongue burns, your throat too. Your skin is on fire…

Throbbing phallic object pressed against your belly. Zoro’s earrings graze the side of your mandible as he keeps biting your neck. He smells, licks, and nibbles your skin. “Delicious, why are you so delicious?” he insists. You, on the other hand, are unable to speak. His huge hand grabs your neck as he does what he wants with your body. He moves back and forth, jerking his own member against your lower stomach. His mouth goes lower and lower, leaving your flesh shiny of his saliva. Your nipples hurt, his sharp fangs have sucked and bite them all until you can even process what is that feeling. Is this pleasure? is this pain? what is this?

“I’d love to stick my fingers inside you but I’m afraid I’m gonna ruin you, and that’s something I want my dick to do with you” he whispers while he crawls back to the side of your ear. “Ruin?” you mumble, confused, and yet not scared. “You know nothing, don’t you? You are such an innocent creature…” he says and licks the side of your mouth.

Pure lust in Zoro’s eye. He tries to keep the other closed, yet a little red shine escapes his eyelid. He kneels in between your spread legs and takes his member with his hands. Precum dripping from it, he jerks back and forth. His whole crotch skin has become dark like onyx, his muscles are hard. Hard as his sex.

Zoro licks his teeth, hurting his own tongue with one of his fangs and a little drop of dark thick and opaque blood runs through the side of his mouth to his chin. And the blood is not red, but ichor, ichor the same blood as yours yet is not golden… “Zoro-san… are you… a demon?”

And Zoro simply smiles as horns sprout from his head, in between long and soft locks of green hair. “The Dark Lord would be so proud of me fucking a little virgin like you” he says and violently penetrates you. Your nails carve the rock where you are lying, you bite your lip. It feels painfully pleasant. Suddenly the scent of his skin does not terrify you, but instead makes you want him even more, lust for him.

The man -demon- moves in and out of you, rough, feral like a beast. You let your body be taken right away, your vision gets blurry as the man inside you grunts like a creature. You can see how he throws his head back, his huge muscular frame blocking the moon on the sky. His hands grabbing you tight, his nails carving the side of your waist. Your heels pressing against his back.

“So tight…” he growls as he pushes himself deeper inside of you, as your clenching walls allow him to. You pant, moan, get dragged into the original sin… with a demon. Something inside you creates pressure, you tremble, you feel like you are about to explode. “Ryu…Zoro-san”

Suddenly, completely turned into a demon, surprisingly even more handsome than before, Zoro sits on the rock and pulls you up. You end up sitting over his thighs, still with his dick inside. His claws engraved on the small of your back. Your lover attacks your mouth, you keep up with his lustful rhythm, lascivious tongue motion, saliva mixing with the remaining demon blood. And every time your mouth touches the fluid, it burns, but it burns so good.

“Why don’t you come, huh?” he says, muzzled by your lustful lips. “I’m… what.. is… coming?” you ask. He smirks and grabs your cheeks in between two fingers, claws leaving little marks on your skin.

“Let me show you, Flar… Angel” he says as his hips buckle up and down, up, and down. Hard, quick, violently, mercilessly, drinking all of your purity. Zoro bites softly the sun mark on your shoulder as he lets himself go. Your body feels light, your eyes thrown back, everything bursting inside you, losing complete control of your body. Your eyes fixed on your lover’s, even on the red one. And suddenly, you two recognize someone who you haven’t ever seen before…

“Ryuma…” you shout as you reach climax and spread your wings, unable to hide them anymore. “Flare...!” he mumbles as he reaches climax too. Zoro flooding your insides with a warm sticky substance that feels wonderfully filling, you panting lost into his eyes.

Ryuma… Flare… it’s been so long my love…

Both of you rest your foreheads on each other’s, smiling, drunk with pleasure and love… Love? Who is Ryuma? Who is Flare? You don’t know, yet you can’t call the other another name.

But, for some reason none of you dare to ask anything else. Instead, Zoro lifts you up and takes you in his arms. “Let’s rest there” he says, pointing towards a little cabin behind the waterfall. You nod, still unable to process you have just committed one of the worst sins.

You discover inside the cabin that Zoro has gathered a few red fabrics from the shrine. Sacred, for sure. He slowly lets you over them. His horns hide, and his skin turns tanned again. You still don’t hide your wings, you haven’t noticed.

“Those… those are so pretty…” he whispers. And you suddenly realized about the prominence on your back. You can’t speak, but instead get lost in his eyes. He smiles, lovingly and sits in front of you wrapping his strong arms around you.

Zoro kisses your sun mark, while your hand grazes his moon mark. Flashes come to your eyes whenever you both touch your marks at the same time…

“Ryuma, it’s me” you mumble. He looks at you, dumbfounded by your precious white wings, yet sure he loves you. “Am I Ryuma? Why… Why do I feel love for you? Your wings…” he whispers. You, completely sure you love this creature, rest your forehead on his shoulder bathed by an argent shine that filters through the window of the cabin.

Zoro, not really sure why has the need to speak, says “Flare… you have become an angel…”. “You remember me?” you smile, happy your husband has finally recognized you. “What have you done, Ryuma? Why did you ended up being a demon? Don’t tell me you have lost your way to heaven…”. Zoro looks at you, blushing because that’s true.

“I missed you so much…” you tell him. “Me too, my love…” he whispers. You both lie countless minutes into each other’s arms in complete silence, enjoying your companies.

“That’s the moon?” Zoro asks. “Yes, my love. Icy and shiny as your eyes” you tell him, kissing his cheek. Love, pure love. Love…

But the ice moon suddenly turns into a red moon… red like human blood. Red, menacing, scolding. The surroundings turn cold, cold like snow. A shiver runs through your spine and your wings surround him. You feel the need to protect him for what’s coming.

A tear runs through your cheek because you know... “Ryuma… they have come to take me… my wings. It’s all over now” you whisper. You are an angel and broke each one of the sacred rules… and what the text you should recite before coming to earth hides, is a much worse punishment than not being able to ever enter heaven again.

“Ryuma… They are coming to take my wings”

Zoro stands up suddenly, quickly turns himself into his demon form. Combative, ready to fight. “No, I won’t lose you… not again” he states. “Let’s go, I’ll protect you no matter what” he says, covering you with his green cape and taking his three Katanas. “But… you…” you say.

“No, you don’t understand. I will never ever again lose you. I don’t really know why I’m saying this, but I’ll fight against heaven and hell if it's necessary…”

[To be continued]

[lilisouless]

Ok but in a modern au , Matthias is always the designated driver in group hangs , so absolutely no one has seen him drunk ever.

Jesper talking on the phone: It´s happening! we are finally doing it! Oh Inej, i wish you were here,it´s an unique experience ; The first time Matthias will get drunk

Matthias: This is such a stupid thing to be exited over , i am having just five drinks

Inej on the phone : Are you sure you don't want us here?

Jesper: I want you to, but Matthias "oh what if i say something ulterly inapropiate in front of the ladies? i shall faint!" refussed completely.Well, bye have fun on girls night

Matthias: i didn't say i´ll faint

Kaz: My question is , why are we here?

Wylan: To watch over him, we don't know what kind of drunk he is

Jesper: If he is the stripping type , we stop him from leaving the house, if he is the crying type we confort him, if he is the violent type we trow Kaz at him while we run away

Wylan: Let´s remember this is just an experiment, not an excuse to make fun at Matthias for whatever happens

Jesper putting the phone on recording mode : Yeah yeah , i know , now take the first shot Helvar!

Two hours later

Jesper on the phone : Nina i´ve never felt so dissapointed in my life

Nina on the other line : Why? Because Matthias is not a flirty drunk like we wanted to?

Jesper: Not only that, Drunk!Matthias is so...Matthias

Nina: What you mean by that?

Jesper: I can't label it as another way. He cried for five minutes while searching for wolf pups images , stroke his cheek with our knitwear blanquets (and then apologized for such an inapropiate behaviour) gave us a large speech about premarital activities when he caught Wylan and me in the sinful act of holding hands. Now he has a glass of "holy water" and is splattering it at Kaz´s face and chanting

Matthias: Demon,Demon,Demon...

Kaz: Get him off me Jes, or he loses his fingers

Jesper: Wylan, take one for the team

Wylan: Okay, wait what you mean by...

Jesper: Matthias! Wylan´s clavicles are showing!

Matthias grabbing the tablecloth : Indecorous,must cover!

Jesper as he watches Matthias chasing Wylan around the room: So, not only i am completely let down, i also will sleep on the couch. I can't believe i don't have new content to make fun of him.

Kaz: As if sober Matthias wasn't enought

Matthias holding a cookie jar: Look at this, is so soft,curvy and there is sweetness inside it, for some reason "hugs the jar lovingly" i want to name her Nina

Kaz: And...he is kissing the jar. Is that good enought for you to make fun off?

Jesper sobbing in joy: Yes, yes it is

[starkeristheendgame]

Hunter!Tony x Demon!Peter AU

Hunter!Tony binds Demon!Peter to himself in order to find the monster that murdered his late fiancée. Lead down roads he’d never imagined himself taking, Tony discovers that maybe revenge isn’t the only thing he’s hungry for.

TW/Tags: Supernatural AU | Enemies to something | Hurt/Comfort | Angst | Injury | Blood | Near-death experience | First kiss

“Is being a pervert part of the hiring process or are you just getting your money’s worth?”

Tony couldn’t see it, but he knew regardless that those plush lips would be pushed into a pout and those arched brows would be furrowed into a petulant scowl.

“If you’ve got me running around like your little errand boy, the least you could do is be nice to me,” a high, sweet voice simpered back. The face that belonged to it was just as youthful when it appeared in the mirror over his shoulder, watching him button his shirt with vested interest.

Tony didn’t deign to dignify it with a reply, staring down the pretty little monster until it let out a sigh.

“Fine. I have your lead. Arkansas, a seedy little dive known as the Dog Den.”

Something hot and rabid twisted in his gut and he had to pause his motions, hands trembling almost imperceptibly. It felt a lot like rage and a little bit like hope.

“Are you sure?”

Eyes the colour of fresh honey rolled so hard he could almost hear the muscles stretching. “No. I asked a magic eight-ball.”

He twisted with a snarl, reaching out. The ring on his finger pulsed with a molten orange glow and between slender wrists a chain that shimmered transparently flared to life, forming a delicate set of shackles no wider than if he’d wound a necklace there.

He curled a finger in the glowing links, dragging the Demon close enough that he could see the flecks of gold in those dark eyes. 

“I’m sure,” it repeated, softer, quieter, holding his gaze with wariness, but not fear.

He let the chain drop after a moment, grunting as he turned around and finished buttoning up his shirt. When he twisted to reach for the jacket the lithe figure was sprawled out on his bed, artfully arranged as the Demon flipped through a magazine Tony knew hadn’t been in his own bags.

“You know,” the Demon piped up again as he tucked in his shirt, “maybe if you smiled a little more, the ugly things in the dark wouldn’t try to kill you as much.”

“Shut up.”

“Not possible.”

“I’ll make it possible.”

“Oh, you always promise me a good time and never deliver.”

Despite himself, Tony found he had to wrestle fiercely with a smile. “Peter.”

That heady, dangerous gaze pinned itself to him again. He met it evenly, ignoring the thrum of his pulse. The Demon really couldn’t have picked a prettier vessel to take over, a smudge of parasitic darkness inside the prettiest packaging.

That pink little mouth opened like it was considering another witty retort, then closed. Instead the Demon - Peter, merely hummed and went back to flicking through his magazine, disinterestedly glossing over half-naked women and gossip scandals.

It was almost disconcerting. To look at the pretty little slip of a thing sprawled out on his bed like some rented whore and to know that behind that pretty face was a being of Hell’s creation. Something twisted and dark, a corrupted soul festering behind a distracting smokescreen.

Peter Parker was the sort of face Tony would’ve fallen for like a rock, if he hadn’t been the one to summon the Demon to the surface.

Perhaps that’s why the Demon had chosen such a nice outfit. A desperate bid not to get ganked the moment he crawled out of Hell.

“You’re thinking too loudly,” Peter sighed, turning a page idly. He’d rolled over onto his stomach now, jaw propped in his palm. 

“You can’t read minds. Don’t get comfortable, we’re leaving soon,” he grunted in reply, shrugging on a jacket.

“Can’t I just meet you there?” the Demon whined, looking up with (literally) sinful puppy eyes.

“No.”

He left it at that, flat and unforgiving, as he had to be. In another life he’d have fallen for that soft whine and that pleading look. Might’ve taken his shirt right off and crawled onto the bed, put that open mouth to good use.

But this was not that life, and that pretty face was stolen.

He checked all his things then reached out, plucking the gossip rag from Peter’s hands and throwing it in the trash. “Meet me at the car.”

“I was reading that,” Peter huffed indignantly, glowering up at him before he disappeared, leaving behind nothing but a dip in the bedspread and the scent of copper.

He was sprawled in the backseat when Tony made his out to the 1970 Challenger he called his own, a set of stylish shades covering his eyes, fluffy hair unkempt and arms folded behind his head.

“Feet off the upholstery,” he huffed as he turned the key, swinging the car out of the parking lot and onto the road with a loud rumble of the engine.

“I know for a fact you sleep in this car and my shoes are clean,” Peter answered primly, angling his head towards the open window and the warmth of the morning sun.

Arkansas was a three day drive. They spent the first in almost complete silence, although the Demon did sulk when they stopped for gas and Tony declined to buy him anything. Rather than waste money on another motel he pulled onto a quiet patch of land behind a thicket of trees, settling across the bench seat with a sigh.

“Fuck off and come back in the morning.”

“Eloquent as ever,” Peter griped, leaning over the seat, arms folded and chin atop them. He looked laughably angelic in the darkness, all soft edges, voice quiet enough that a mouse wouldn’t flee it.

“Sweet dreams,” he whispered, and when Tony cracked open an eye to repeat his command, he was gone.

Gone, until he thumped his fist on the window at the ass-crack of dawn, looking chipper and cheerful, Starbucks cup in hand. “Up and at ‘em, sunshine! The monsters aren’t gonna hunt themselves!”

Tony considered stabbing him there and then, but Peter was unfortunately an asset he couldn’t afford to lose. Invaluable, as much as it stroked the Demon’s ego. He settled for glaring, baring past the Demon as he stomped off to relieve himself. 

The next two nights went much the same, although Peter got chattier the more bored he became. Fiddled with the radio, disappeared for moments only to return holding an ‘interesting’ leaf or rock, scooped up from the side of the road Tony had just driven past.

Arkansas was crisp and bright and dewy in the mid-weeks of spring. It was so different from the New York of his youth, with it’s towering glass jungle and concrete pillars. It was a visceral reaction to think of the scent of flowers and clean air in Sicily, of pink lipstick smudged on his jaw, a laugh fading slowly, overtaken by the rumble of the engine.

Countryside became a smattering of industrialisation, bars and houses, garages and stores. He wanted to keep on going, chase that tail until he caught it and tore it off, but he knew better than to rush in half-blind.

He had to eat something proper. Had to rest. Had to learn everything he could from the paltry little stack of papers that Peter had given him, printed out at a library miles and miles back in the time it had taken Tony to piss and buy a bottle of water at a gas station.

Food, first. 

The diner was like every other. Gaudy and cheap with food that was more grease than nutrition. Peter’s nose scrunched the moment they entered and he looked nonplussed when they were guided to a booth.

The Demon made a big show of pulling out a pack of wipes from the pocket of his fitted jacket, scrubbing the table as the waitress listed off the day’s specials. Tony rolled his eyes before ordering coffee and a slap-up breakfast, about to dismiss the waitress when Peter cut in with a saccharine smile. 

“Bacon too, please. Crispy. And a milkshake. Thanks a bunch, darling.”

She arched her brows but made no comment, glancing at Tony before leaving. Then it was Tony’s turn to stare and quirk his brow, watching the Demon shrug lightly. 

“What? I get cravings.”

Peter fiddled with a napkin as they waited, as Tony read through the sheets of paper. Folding it over and over into a little crane that he perched atop the salt shaker. 

“Where did you even learn origami?” Tony grunted, watching it sway before it stabilised. Peter’s gaze flicked up to him and there was something unexpected there. A hollowness, heavily guarded but flickering in the gold of his irises even so. 

“Even the worst of the worst need hobbies, hunter,” he uttered softly, and then their food arrived and they were lost to the silence that overcame those sating their hunger. Peter ate with an almost childlike manner, easily distracted, toying with his straw before each sip. He even swung his legs a little and drummed his fingertips on the table top.

The perfect performance.

He looked away.

Peter was unusually quiet after that, subdued as they made their way to a motel relatively close to the Dog Den. He didn’t even pester the receptionist or try to embarrass Tony by pretending to be some sort of rent boy as he purchased a key, eyeing the Demon consideringly.

When Tony slipped beneath the sheets Peter disappeared without argument, offering only a mock salute before he flickered and was gone, leaving nothing but a wisp of dark smoke.

He wondered where the Demon went. Back to Hell? Some run-down library to read through the night? An empty motel room to pilfer their cable connection?

The disconcertion over Peter’s silence left him the next day, when he commanded Peter to steer clear as he got dressed to hit their lead.

“You can’t go alone,” Peter announced, frowning.

“I can and I am. You’ll just attract attention,” Tony pointed out, shrugging on another flannel and tucking the flask of holy water against his belt.

“And if you die?” Peter shot back. It surprised his brows into lifting as he met the Demon’s gaze, tipping his head.

“Then you’ll be free of your bindings and there’ll be one less hunter ganking your friends. What’s the problem?”

Peter’s mouth opened, then closed, as if he was only suddenly remembering that he wasn’t in this little dynamic duo willingly.

“I get the Challenger if you die,” the Demon said instead, turning away from.

And maybe Tony should’ve thought more about that demand, because the only thing he could think of as he lay bleeding in the middle of the woods several long hours later was that Peter would most definitely get the car all scratched up and dirty.

Demons had no respect for vehicle maintenance. 

He coughed wetly and grunted, pressing a hand to his bleeding chest. They wouldn’t, he supposed. Demons could just fly everywhere.

Peter had adamantly argued it was not teleportation.

He breathed out a sigh and shifted fumbling for his wallet. His fingers smeared blood against the white edges of the crumpled photograph in there and he stared at his wife’s smile, frozen in time and taken just days before a Demon on a murder kick had burnt her soul up from within her, along with their unborn daughter.

“I’d say see you soon, but. W’both know m’goin’ to Hell, not where you are,” he told her image softly, giving it a weary, slow smile.

“Hell would ask for a refund,” came a familiar voice, and moments later there were warm hands on his jaw, tilting his head up. “You stupid bastard. I told you not to go alone. I could feel there was someone stronger in this town!”

Peter’s eyes were wide and round, plump lower lip between his teeth as he dropped his gaze, eyeing where Tony was slowly leaking his insides all over his outsides. “Shit,” the Demon breathed softly.

Tony made an agreeable sound. Shit was about right. He’d run head first into the messy, gruesome end that almost every hunter found themselves at. The end of the road; the final curtain; bleeding out somewhere at the hands of something twisted and ugly and evil.

“Guess you get th’car,” he rasped, aiming for humorous. It fell short when he blanched and more hot fluid slid down his throat and his chest, pooling at his navel. 

“Shut up,” Peter growled at him, letting go of his head to pull up his shirt. His fingertips were light, but it still felt like fire. Hot and licking over everything he touched. “God, you’re so fucking stupid. I told you to take me. I told you I should go.”

“C’n you save th’gloatin’ ‘till I’m dead?” he asked, frowning. Most hunters probably didn’t get this much conversation on their deathbeds.

Peter shot him a positively scathing look, pressing down hard on the wound. It made agony flare up his torso, smothering his pathetic yell of pain into a weak, thready rasp.

“This is gonna hurt us both,” the Demon muttered, looking inexplicably angry as he settled his palms flat atop the worst of the wound. A muted sound was all Tony could manage, watching the Demon with hazy confusion.

For a moment, nothing happened. 

Or at least, Tony didn’t notice it happening. 

But then a strange, new type of pain began to lance through him, battling against the numbing burn of his torn organs. It crept through his veins and branched out, a tingling, almost electric sensation that had him tensing as best as his broken body would let him.

He opened his mouth and if he’d had the energy left for it he’d have reeled in surprise when Peter leaned forwards, slotting their mouths together firmly.

The Demon’s lips were soft and plush, with the faintest trace of soda. His lips were warm, too, just a breath above what would be normal for a person. 

Tony almost didn’t know what he should be recoiling at the most; kissing a Demon, or kissing what was for all intents and purposes a sixteen year old.

Peter didn’t try to do anything else and Tony realised in the timeframe that he’d been internally broiling over the situation, breathing had become easier.

The fire was dulling to a simmer; a slow ember that still ached but no longer made him feel like he had one foot in the gates of Hell. His breath hitched and Peter pulled back slowly, keeling to one side slightly and almost falling over as he drew away.

His eyes were pools of inkblack, shiny and void as the Demon sucked in his own rattled breath, pulling shaking hands away from Tony’s torso.

He let his gaze fall slowly to his chest. He was still covered in blood, but the flesh there looked smooth and unmarred. Where he was once carved open like a pot hole there was once again closed off muscle and flesh.

He looked up in surprise. Peter was on his knees, hands braced on his thighs as he rode out the strain of wrangling his leashed powers. His eyes were slowly returning to the human hue, red-rimmed as if he’d been crying, plump lips downturned.

Tony licked his own, jerked straight back into the sensation of Peter’s mouth on his.

“Why?” he demanded roughly, bringing a hand to subconsciously touch his chest.

Peter shot him a sidelong look, the effect slightly dampened by the way he looked vaguely sick.

“A thank you might be nice,” the Demon sneered at him, huffing a twisted curl from his eyes as Tony pushed himself to his feet, ungainly and uncoordinated. Bracing himself on a tree, Tony stared down at the Demon.

At Peter, who’d saved his life. Against all he stood to benefit from Tony’s death, against all that he’d done his best to kill him when he first discovered he’d been shackled to Tony. 

Coughing, Tony did his best to pull his shredded shirt closed before he made a rough gesture. “Get up. You’ll have to take us back to the motel. My car’s still at the bar.” Smashed up or stolen, he realised with a pang of sadness and anger.

“Oh no, lover-boy. You’ve been keeping me at half-mast all year. One night of fun has done me in for the night. I’m limp - get your own ride into town.”

Tony glowered, but all his frowning and snapping proved fruitless. Peter’s powers had been bound tight for almost a year and he really was burnt out, looking every inch as young as his vessel as he wobbled to his feet. The most he managed them was a few meters down the road when he tried.

It took them until sunrise to come close enough to the town that Tony could hotwire a car from the side of the road, ditching it a reasonable way from the motel and wiping it down with a clean patch of his shirt to get rid of his fingerprints.

He wasn’t bothered about Peter’s. Peter had mentioned having this particular vessel for over fifty years - his prints would be written off as a glitch on the system.

He went straight for the shower, scrubbing his skin pink as he tried to sleuth off the memory of being cut open, of dying alone in the dark and the cold, certain that this was his one-way ticket downstairs.

Brushed his teeth; trying to rid himself of the guilt that came with realising that the kiss had been pleasant, to a degree. Soft, pink skin, the sweetness of a soda consumed while Tony had been-

He shut off the water.

When he stepped out, Peter was actually curled up in the bed, looking almost infantile with the covers pulled up to his jaw. He seemed only half-awake, barely stirring when Tony entered the room. He was pulling on a new shirt when Peter spoke, voice sleepy and quiet.

“My Uncle taught me.”

Tony paused, glancing over his shoulder.

“Origami,” Peter clarified softly. “You asked me. At the diner. Where I’d learned origami. My Uncle taught me when I was thirteen.”

Pulling on a pair of sweatpants, Tony took a light seat on the edge of the bed, each of them facing a separate wall. He was quiet for a little while, digesting the information.

“Thank you for saving me,” he grunted after a moment, uncomfortable with the intimacy of the words. It wasn’t anything he’d ever thought he’d say to a Demon. Peter had gotten him out of scrapes and healed up wounds before, but always under command and never anything so serious.

Desperate to rein back some control, he slid under the sheets and stared up at the ceiling. “If you ever kiss me again, I’ll use thread soaked in holy water and sew your mouth shut.”

Irritatingly, Peter snorted. “That was hardly a kiss.”

“You’re in a snot-nosed brat’s body, what would you know about kissing?” Tony shot back, brows pinching into a frown.

“This,” Peter huffed at him, rolling over and on top of him.

Tony blamed the fact that he didn’t pull away on simply being too tired to.

[butmakeitgayblog]

maam we’re all down bad for demon lexa of course we want a sneak peek

Ok but be kind because it's still rough 👉🏻👈🏻

Snippet of Demon au Ch. 6

//////////

"God help me," Clarke sighed as she turned back toward the stairs, flippantly making peace with the inkling that she'd somehow just signed her own sexual death warrant. "I'm going home."

"Hang on there, gorgeous. Even if you're not gonna stay, I still really don't like the thought of you riding the train at…," Lexa's voice trailed off as she reached over to turn her alarm clock around, "twelve-thirty at night."

Clarke's eyes widened as she halted and wheeled around to look out the window at the far end of the room, truly registering the thickness of the dark that had descended outside. "We've been fucking for eight hours?!"

Lexa shot her a lazy smirk and shrugged. "Technically only five, if you don't count travel time and our little nap… Like I said, you're very talented with your hands. And I think we both had a little bit of… pent up energy to get out."

Sucking in a lungful of the smoky scent that mixed with the twang of arousal that lingered in the air, Clarke thought over the evening again. The glimpses of a blood-orange sunset serving as a backdrop to rose colored lips, the heavy hang of angry looking clouds rolling at the periphery of swirling green. She thought of thunderous moans and lightning sparked orgasms. But for the life of her, Clarke couldn't think of how so much time had slipped through her fingers.

"You really could stay," Lexa said, breaking Clarke out of her reverie. "Just to sleep, I promise."

"No," Clarke sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "I'd still need to go home and shower and all that… Damnit."

"But I don't want you taking the train in this weather. Or this late.."

"The trains aren't running anymore anyway," she pointed out, letting her hands fall to her sides with a slap. "It's fine. I'll just call a ride."

Clarke watched as Lexa's jaw twitched, visibly biting back an argument as she stayed silent, then nodded. 

Awkward and not sure of exactly what to do with her hands, Clarke gave a tight-lipped smile as she bid a soft 'Night, Lex' and moved to start down the stairs--

"Clarke."

Turning at the sound of her name, Clarke's eyes fell to the woman lounging in her bed, the sinews of porcelain skin practically glowing against the midnight plumes of black.

Lexa's hand rose from her side, her index finger curling twice in a beckoning motion. Clarke felt powerless against the pull of such a siren's call, her feet moving her away from the staircase and back toward the bed. 

She swayed as she reached her, swallowing at the dryness clinging to her throat as she bent down at Lexa's silent urging, her hands coming to rest at either side of Lexa's hips. 

Fingers laced through the wispy hair at Clarke's neck, Lexa's hand holding her in a light grip and guiding her down. Clarke let herself fall into the kiss, mouth opening at the coaxing of a velvet slick tongue. 

The kiss was all shades of glitter and lust-drunk gold, every touch and heady lick, Lexa deepening her movements from the very first touch of their lips. The feel of it shot through her as she yielded to Lexa's gentle intensity, fists and toes curling as she kissed Clarke deeper. It was sensual, and far too filthy than any 'goodnight' kiss had any right to be.

Final moan rumbled through Lexa's chest as she finally pulled back, leaving Clarke entirely breathless and panting above her.

"Goodnight," Lexa whispered, that goddamn smirk finding its way back to swollen lips as she settled back into the pillows. 

Clarke groaned, smooshing one more angry kiss to full lips before pushing up and stomping back toward the stairs. "Fuck, I hate you sometimes."

"Mhm. Text me when you get home."

"Yeah, yeah," Clarke said, tossing a half-hearted scowl over her shoulder as she started her way down. "You just… remember our deal. Discreet."

"Of course, gorgeous," Lexa smiled with a demure wag of her fingers. "Nothing but discreet."

/////

Lexa is a fucking liar. 

A filthy one at that. 

The tentative truce to keep things private completely shot to hell within barely twelve hours of its inception.

And really, Clarke knew how naive it had been to think the woman would actually keep her hands to herself. 

But standing in the breakroom, mouth shouting muffled exaltations of panted sin into the palm of Lexa's hand as the other worked between her legs, she truly hadn't anticipated that this was the method Lexa would've chosen to break her resolve. 

"You gotta be quiet, gorgeous," Lexa hummed with a lick to Clarke's ear. "Don't want anyone to hear us, do we?"

Clarke could feel the stretch of Lexa's smile as two fingers fucked her in lazy strokes, the maddening lack of urgency to her thrusts causing Clarke to nearly collapse in the arms wrapped around her from behind.

She mumbled Lexa's name in a holy cry of desperation. Hips followed her buck for twitching buck as Clarke yanked the hand away from her mouth to hiss out her prayers for mercy. 

"Lexa, please. I can't--"

A chuckle vibrated against the skin of her neck, teeth followed by tongue giving way to hotly whispered words.

"Aww. What's the matter, Clarke?" Lexa asked, the click of the 'k' feeling like a punch to the gut. "I thought you said I could touch you when we're alone."

"Godammit," Clarke grunted as she reached back and laced a hand through wild curls to yank her closer. "You know this isn't what I meant."

"No?"

Clarke's thighs shook and breath caught as Lexa thrust as far as she could go, her fingers bending in a wicked hook before pulling out completely. A groan died in her throat as two fingers pressed over the swell of her clit and rolled in tight circles. 

Lexa's breath came in pants as she rested her forehead against Clarke's temple, her free hand sliding up the length of Clarke's waist to massage her breast through her blouse. "Are you sure?... Because I think you're liking this."

"I think you could come just from the thought of it. Sweet, little Clarke, getting fucked in the breakroom." The gritty sound of Lexa's voice had her whimpering, the words and visions playing through her head catapulting toward the edge. "God, can you imagine?... Someone walking in while I'm inside you? Seeing you right as you fall apart for me."

"Oh fuck yes--" 

Voice high-pitched and straining as images crashed through her mind, Clarke flung herself into the surge of her orgasm as the world exploded around her, gripping the fistful of brunette tighter and pulling Lexa into a sloppy kiss. She could barely hold the pieces of herself together as they each struggled to swallow the hallowed sounds of her pleasure. 

Arms flexed and held her close as she slowly came down, her lips detaching with a satisfied sigh as her bones turned soft and spent. The cradle of Lexa's shoulder caught her head as it lulled back, a delirious sort of chuckle rumbling up from deep within her chest at the euphoric feel of it allo. Their bodies rocked in a lazy sway as the final echoes of release coursed through Clarke's veins, the soothing pattern of Lexa's kisses along the column of her throat helping Clarke find her way back down to Earth. 

"I am gonna kick your ass for that…" Clarke murmured, eyes closed and face still turned toward the heavens. "Just as soon as I can feel my legs again."

/////////

Ok. All I have left to write is the end portion (which is smut because I apparently have a problem) and then it's off to the beta 😘

[phoenixyfriend]

The “Momma Sturmvoraus was Literally Satan” AU

As requested by @spazzbot​. This AU was initially brainstormed on the GG fanworks server almost a year ago. Specifically, on the first day of 2020.

[ID: a truncated discord message by “Miss Nixy, Gay for RoboLadies” posted 01/01/2020. The message reads “I need to sleep but please for the moment consider:” and ends there.]

So. Let’s get to it.

Satan took a human form because why not see what's going on topside, live like a human, and “Oh shit is this pregnancy? This is pregnancy. Fuck, that's a tiny human. Which is now half demon. Am I supposed to take care it? Wonder if retconing this form into that Valois family was a bad idea. They do have SO much money though, I get to live like a queen. I suppose another child shouldn't hurt, it wasn't that bad. Oh, he's cute, this is actually making sense, why humans do all the sinning. Not counting dear Aaronev's murders, of course, those are just evil, but I did search out the worst of the humans to pair myself to...”

This is literally just "Tarvek and Anevka's mom was low-key Satan on a bored “let's be human for a decade or two to see what happens” jaunt, consequences happen because these kids are LITERALLY half-demon and arguably anti-Christs."

Also it's just Very Funny for Tarvek, ineffectual sexy lamp fashion twunk extraordinaire, to be an antichrist

Jeff thinks he’s pretty. Jeff keeps describing features that don’t entirely make sense. (Jeff’s canon name is Karl Thotep but they spent so long unnamed that the server collectively named them Jeff.)

This is not a crossover with anything, btw. Ambiguously Pop Culture Satan just got bored and went to have babies with a serial killer.

They’re just kids! That are vaguely demonic. So. Moreso than the rest of the Valois.

Sometimes "mom" comes back from the dead and visits Anevka and Tarvek to impart Wisdom and possibly magic lessons The rooms always smell faintly of sulfur after that...

They try to put Anevka in the machine but SHE isn't hurt and the MACHINE just melts

So that's the end of that.

It's very awkward for everyone, but the paperwork isn't too bad. It's very easy to write "incidental fire began during late-fugue experimentation, resulted in fire spreading through six rooms and several casualties, including Prince Aaronev Wilhelm Sturmvoraus."

As per @atagotiak​, “I feel like if we’re going in any way dimensional weirdness with thing, Tarvek got so good at exploring bc he could just clip through walls.”

With image provided by @thisarenotarealblog​:

Tarvek in Paris: My dead mother keeps showing up in my dreams to tell me I need to seduce my way out of my problems and also she looks like Satan. Tarvek's Voltaire-Appointed Therapist: I still don't know what that means. Just like the last five times. Tarvek: I keep telling her that I can’t seduce Colette, if seduction is that important she should get Anevka to do it.

Like he probably wouldn’t say most of that in front of any Voltaire-approved individual, but still.

Tarvek is still very good at self control but there's a Special Edge to his rants.

(Derailed in the moment to me thinking about Anevka in a sfw-but-concerningly-deadly succubus getup, because... yeah.)

Aaronev dies and goes to hell and his dead wife is just there like "hi! Time to be tortured for eternity!" He wasn't a good husband so. He can't exactly sentimentalize his way out.

“In the sexy way?” “... not for you, no.”

Mostly I just want the BULLSHIT that is "Storm Mom was actually just Satan getting bored and going on vacation as a retconned Valois girl, the kids are half-demons and sometimes it Shows."

To clarify: the Satan bit isn't the retcon. Grandma used to have one daughter. Now there are two. (Seffie and Martellus's mother doesn't remember being an only child, but sometimes...)

Satan retconned a new daughter in, which included a Valid Valois Venusian Vestment, so the blood tests play out.

The subtle signs of wrongness would be fun too. Anevka tends to smile a bit too wide and sharp for a human face. Inexplicable uneasiness, here you can’t point at any specific thing that’s wrong but it’s uncomfortable. Uncanny valley prettiness, almost like the porcelain she became in other timelines. Skin isn’t supposed to be that smooth.

My brain's pre-nap contribution at that point was "Satan's pronouns when not pretending to Human are sin/sinself" which is! Certainly a thing.

Tarvek, at some nebulous future point: I mean, your ancestors were monsters, but my dad was a serial killer and my mom was literally Satan, instead of just figuratively like Lucrezia, so. I mean. I kind of get what you're going through.

Per @firebirdeternal: Tarvek and Anevka growing up with "you're allergic to holy water" and not questioning it until a little later because What.

And then they test it and it's like "yeah, no, there's a rash now. That stung. What the fuck."

It INFURIATES Gil in Paris when Tarvek tells him that's a thing, because there's nothing chemically different about Holy water and regular water. But no, this is somehow happening.

It gets logged in medical journals as a Valois genetic thing because, well, Mom was like that too, right?

One time they both go into a church for an Adventure and Gil is very annoyed to find that Tarvek is like. Faintly smoking. It smells like burnt hair in here.

Gil: What smells like burnt hairgel? Tarvek: [glares]

Gil decides that it must be something particular to the church, like a fungus or something in the stone, contaminating the air and water so it only LOOKS like the holiness is what's setting off reactions.

It is not.

Tarvek once got into an argument with someone and ate a slab of raw, completely uncooked meat as a power move.

SVV seems to work perfectly. Everyone is fine. We get the ‘you fight like ducks’ moment.

And then Tarvek bursts into flames, and everyone panics because no they fixed this what the fuck is he still infected with Hogfarb’s oh my god... and then everything settles down and he's perfectly fine. Not a scratch on him, no longer turning funny colors. Completely unharmed. He's in a nicely tailored suit and looks faintly stunned

"I just met my dead mom, who's apparently Satan. She told me that after I died the first time just now, I should be harder to kill later, especially with fire, because now there's more demon and less mortal and guys I think I'm going crazy." "Is that a martini?" Tarvek looks down. "Apparently."

Tarvek starts just. Randomly setting things on fire by glaring too hard and has to tone it down. Meanwhile, Agatha and Gil are having crises about how he's somehow getting PRETTIER.

Is he faintly glowing? Maybe!

Gil handles it by angrily sniping at Tarvek about how of COURSE he's an evil little rat with a background like that.

Tarvek just wants a nap and to forget this ever happened. Many people are sworn to secrecy. It's very awkward.

Still, SVV did something, for handwave-y reasons, and so they're linked now. Gil and Agatha both getting tiny flashes of the same shenanigans.

They get none of the powers. They just keep getting Weird Shit.

Other characters with divine influence are like "Did you.... did you make a pact with a demon?" "What no that's our boyfriend."

Tho tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if a Heterodyne did sign a contract with a demon at some point in exchange for like. Materials. A hundred souls sacrificed in exchange for some succubus blood. Thanks!

Tarvek and Othar: Falling out of CW as in canon. Tarvek: WHAT THE HELL SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE WINGS HIDE THIS BEFORE I GET BOOTED FROM THE LINE FOR THE THRONE

IDK where Anevka is during all this. I think she might have decided to go sleep her way through the courts of the Ice Tsars. Vacation, y'know?

Othar after he's decided to make Tarvek his new Heroic Apprentice: AH, my poor afflicted young friend, it's noble of you to go against the dark nature of your tragic heritage like this. Tarvek: I hate you. I wish I could hate you to death. But you have a point. I shouldn't let my father's blood limit what I strive for in life. Othar: I... I thought your mother was... Tarvek: I know what I said.

Tarvek: Also you can't tell ANYONE about that, I can't have them thinking I'm not actually in line for the Storm King's throne.

He does admittedly have to like. Explain things to Grandma.

Terabithia is Tarvek’s maternal grandmother so this is supremely awkward. That said...

Grandma fondly remembers her pregnancy cravings; bone marrow and sulfur.

"Yeah so, my mother, your daughter, was... maybe actually Satan? But retconned into your life?" "Tarvek, darling, please. I figured that out half a century ago."

TARVEK ACCIDENTALLY FINDS HIM HIMSELF WEIRDLY INTENSE AT CONTRACTS

I mean that honestly just Tracks about Tarvek anyways? But like moreso.

He just. Writes something up and there's things getting signed or shook on and then the person tries to break the contract and either suddenly catch fire or are deeply unlucky for a set amount of time.

And Tarvek's just standing there like "how in the FUCK did I do that?"

Severity of infernal punishment depends on the severity of the breach of contract.

Tarvek finds out that Anevka's been convincing rich people to sign their souls over to her. It's a fun challenge. She keeps them in jars.

They can still remotely pilot their bodies but like. They can't TELL anyone what happened.

Satan: I'm going to go make babies and now everyone else has to deal with the consequences.

Anevka's living up to that whole "princess of hell" vibe. Tarvek's just like "nope nope nope I want the storm throne, not the hell throne, BYE MOM."

Satan's just feeling sinself down in hell like "awwww look at my babies go, aren't they adorable?"

Tarvek: Anevka, what... first off, how did you figure it out? Anevka: Well, I temporarily died when father put me in the machine, and... I can't say that hell kicked me out because they were afraid I'd take over, but mother DID say she'd rather I play about with human governments instead of Hell's. Tarvek: Okay, cool cool cool. What after you planning to DO with all these souls? Anevka: They make for some lovely reading lamps, don't they?

(Anevka absolutely sets herself the goal of acquiring new titles that rival her old ones, or even surpass them. She just black widows her way through Europa.)

I just want someone (probably Snackleford) to ascend, take one look at Tarvek, and run SCREAMING.

Tarvek still needed to be anchored to Higgs, because Tarvek is Baby.

Gil is eventually in a relationship with an Eternal God Queen and the Literal Son of Satan.

Family dinners can include ALL the in-laws if you duck down to hell! - You borrow Bill from... probably heaven, maybe purgatory. - You have Lu and Aaronev and Satan already there, though the first two... well. Aaronev and Lu get invited to dinner but they have to eat by themselves at the kiddy table and nobody talks to them or acknowledges their presence. After all, this is hell, and what better punishment for Lu than to be completely ignored, and for Aaronev to see Lu at her worst and be reminded that he gave everything for this horrible, horrible person who isn't even pretending to care about him anymore. - Zanta and Klaus get invited via portal. - Anevka saunters in with a blood-soaked dress and a complaint about militant demon-hunters refusing to let her go shopping for a new pair of shoes. - Zeetha tagged along with the OT3. (She can't wait to see this situation explode.)

Oh God, Satan is actually second place as far as good parenting goes.

Well, actually, fourth. Because Adam and Lilith. But second as far as bio parents go. 1. Zanta 2. Satan 3. Klaus 4/5. Lu and Aaronev N/A. Bill

Someone (Anevka) decides to stir the pot and invites Von Pinn, Terabithia, Bang.

Bang is basically Gil’s older sister, right? Right.

This is Zanta meeting Bang for the first time! Zanta is just: "It's so nice to meet my husband's adopted daughter." Klaus freezes. Bang freezes. Gil is the only one who is just. "Yeah." Meanwhile Zeetha is crying with laughter off to the side because both of them deserve this. (Zanta would legit love Bang though.)

Agatha: Tarvek, I think DuPree is-- Tarvek: Hitting on my sister? I know. Agatha: On your mom, actually. Tarvek: NO!

Also I do love the idea of like. Nobody tells Bang they're inviting her. She just wakes up in Hell like. "Ah. Yes. Fair enough."

Satan: Oh no no no my dear, you're here as a guest. Besides as well as you'd fit you're not one of mine, you've got other things waiting for you. Bang: Okay, but I love the decor. And is that Cheesecake?

Bang’s family has their own evil god in the novels, but! Bang DID pick on Tarvek a lot in Paris. Satan cares more than Anevka does. Bang might get the sexy punishment.

I feel like the fact that no permanent damage was done and it taught Tarvek a lot of things means Satan isn't gonna be all that upset about it.

And let's be real, if there's a character in GG who could look the literal Christian devil in the eye and be like "Yeah I tortured your kid, what're you going to do about it?" it's Bang.

Even Satan doesn't know what to do or think about Othar.

He sure is here! As Anevka’s arm candy! Nobody knows what to do except Anevka herself, who just wants to be Smug.

(What's that scene from Phineas and Ferb that's the mad scientist trapping the platypus within the rules of polite dining at a fine restaurant? Like he can't make a scene because that would be rude?) (That. Othar would dearly love to start a fight, but it's a Family Dinner. You're only allowed to fight verbally at those.)

(Othar isn't even fighting Satan, he just wants to argue with Klaus.) (And maybe fanboy in Bill's direction a bit).

[ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive]

Lust springs cackling throughout the house. “Mother! Mother, I found something father would enjoy!” The demon produces a very slimy amphibian. He makes a gentle hold of the creature showing it off as it ribbits. 

@rxseguided @creatorofclay

[that-was-anticlimactic]

ok so me and my younger sister was talking about which disorders the sins would have in a modern au and we both agreed with the fact that escanor would have bipolar disorder or dissociative identity disorder (or both)

him having DID in a modern au would explain why his personality changes, night escanor is just one alter while day escanor is another

WAIT I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ??? that literally makes so much sense. holy trash. his personality switches so much during the day--true embodiment of the sin of pride--and just wow. those both make SO MUCH SENSE.

i love this. thank you for sharing it with me. this is now canon to me<3

i was thinking about this too, and i couldn't shake the idea of both ban and merlin with adhd... i mean, merlin hyperfixates like. a Lot. and that was the main thing that drew me to her with adhd, and with ban it just. felt right. but they both show symptoms and i am so here for neurodivergent sds content !!! oH and i totally forgot--i also headcanon gilthunder with adhd because i think he deserves it<3

and king has got to have some form of anxiety. like. there's no way that he doesn't. i'm also toying with the idea of him having ts... but i tend to make my favorites have ts. so. it's kind of a debate between king, gilthunder, and howzer tbh. and maybe diane too...

i love the sins so much. and everyone else also. except the demon king. and uh. cath too, ig, but i Do Not See s5 ep21-23 so like. it is fiNe.

[paintedvanilla]

paintedvanilla’s good omens fic recommendations

here we have something I’ve been too shy to make for a while because. to be straight with you. more than half of these are explicit. and well. yeah.

works listed in escalating rating order (general -> teen -> mature -> explicit)

everything is completed unless otherwise noted.

Title: Bowties

Author: dvldegg ( @caerdroia )

Rating: General

Word Count: 776

Summary: “Newt needs help tying his bowtie. Crowley makes fun of Aziraphale. It's just a typical weekend.”

My Notes: This fic caused me to overdose on domestic cuteness.

Title: anywhere i go you go, my dear

Author: chamaenerion

Rating: General

Word Count: 1,533

Summary: “After the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, Crowley is reluctant to leave Aziraphale's side.”

My Notes: I will literally die i swear to god this has nervous and protective crowley and he’s clingy and overall I just wanted to scream I love him I love my boy and they’re so in love and they should always be allowed to be together

Title: Getting a Wiggle On

Author: Kedreeva

Rating: General

Word Count: 7,293

Summary: “Crowley's prank to leave Aziraphale with fake eggs to babysit does not go remotely as planned.”

My Notes: You’ve probably seen this concept floating around tumblr but this fic made me GENTLE because i have daddy issues and whenever people are like “crowley and aziraphale as parents” i have a fucking heart attack

Title: Adopt Don’t Shop - A Good Meowmans Fanfic

Author: lucky_spike

Rating: General

Word Count: 12,434

Summary: “Inspired by Chekhov's cat AU comics 'Good Meowmens', here is a fanfic in which Anathema and Newt are humans, and Aziraphale and Crowley are cats. Not disguised as cats, not trapped in cat bodies, just actual elderly cats that are inseparable.”

My Notes: I know some people think au’s like this are kinda weird but this one is so fucking charming to me idk??? I literally ate this shit up I love being gentle and reading about cats who are in love.

Title: Not Alone

Author: superqueerdanvers

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 937

Summary: “Crowley and Anathema are supposed to meet Aziraphale at the movies, but they can't find a parking place, and they have a heart-to-heart about disability.”

My Notes: I experienced feelings and also emotions while reading this and now i’m a different person

Title: bastard child of water

Author: smallredboy ( @smallredb0y )

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 15,622

Summary: “After a grave mistake, Crowley, a merman, is transformed into a human and exiled out of the sea. Issues crop up as he grows used to his new body, to his new friends and to his new job. But when a merman he's seen in passing pokes his head out of the water one afternoon, Crowley will fall for him and look for a way to regain his body.”

My Notes: THIS FIC MAKES ME LOSE MY SHIT i bribed dave with real life money to finish it and every day i’m thankful i made that decision because this fic is SO. FUCKING. GOOD. IT’S TENDER!! IT’S GENTLE!! IT MAKES ME LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!

Title: Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach 

Author: Nnm

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 99,423

Summary: “As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:

His clothing was expensive and stylish;

He wore very strange but noticeable cologne;

His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;”

He looked angry;

He was wearing sunglasses.”

My Notes: OH!!!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!! THIS FIC DESTROYED ME EMOTIONALLY!!!!!!! IT RIPPED MY FUCKING HEART OUT AND FORCED ME TO DEAL WITH #ISSUES AND JUST OVERALL TURNED ME INTO A DISASTER!!!! I READ THIS SHIT IN ONE SITTING!!! I WAS HOOKED!!!! EVEN NOW JUST THINKING ABOUT IT IS DEALING PSYCHIC DAMAGE!!!!!! PLEASE READ THIS!!!

Title: The Odd One Out

Author: RainyDayDecaf

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2,948

Summary: “It takes being thrown into another universe and meeting other versions of himself to make Aziraphale realize there is something wrong with the way his Crowley treats him.”

My Notes: A product of the shit-script, literally had me feeling emotions but also giggling because movie!Aziraphale deserves to be LOVED.

Title: A Single Feather

Author: qwanderer

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2,521

Summary: “Here's the thing. Demons must be good at improv, at hiding reactions, at carrying on no matter what. They can’t show a moment of vulnerability, not to each other, and certainly not to angels. They were supposed to be tough, untrusting, paranoid bastards, or else.

So Crowley had developed a highly honed skill of automatically bullshitting, boasting, and mocking while covering up his true emotions, and it was in full force now.”

My Notes: I’m a simple woman. I see a nesting fic, I click on it. And it makes me emotional and afterwards I have to lay face down on the floor.

Title: Untouched

Author: Etaleah

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 3,531

Summary: “A demon's life is a lonely one. What Crowley wants is so simple, yet he can never have it.”

My Notes: I will literally fly into the sun if I see the tag “touch starved crowley” i will scream at the top of my lungs. Somebody please hold this demon.

Title: Penance

Author: Blissymbolics

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 5,910

Summary: “And for a while, it’s enough.

It’ll happen, Crowley tells himself. This time, it’ll finally happen.”

My Notes: Listen. This fic destroyed me, it made me tender horny and just overall ruined my night in the best way possible. I’m having a crisis over it as we speak. 

Title: Starved

Author: Fyre

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 6,351

Summary: “The first time the angel touches him, it’s as they descend from the walls of Eden.

It’s nothing, only a hand put out to steady him. A kindness. And yet a thousand memories from life below make Crawly flinch instinctively at the contact. It’s stupid, really, and he’s sure the angel doesn’t notice. He doesn’t stop to consider the fact that the angel’s hand was soft and for a moment, his skin tingled where it touched. Not right away, anyway.”

My Notes: AHH!! Crowley really said “I am touch starved please love me” like!! Imagine craving someone’s touch for SIX THOUSAND YEARS!! I’D GO BONKERS!! THIS FIC MADE ME GO BONKERS!!

Title: can you keep me close (can you love me most)

Author: taizi

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3,268

Summary: “When his angel stretches out a hand, cupid’s bow mouth curved into a familiar smile, Crowley knows better. When he’s led to his own bedroom, pushed down amidst the silk sheets and hastily miracled pillows and a sinful duvet, when Aziraphale leans over him and the whole world seems to hang right there in his eyes, Crowley knows that this is not his to keep. It’s not for him to have this.”

My Notes: I can will and must LITERALLY EXPLODE the tension in this one is palatable and I snort hurt/comfort like cocaine.

Title: please, could you be tender?

Author: deadgreeks

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 6,262

Summary: “The first kiss is only the beginning of a relationship. Crowley and Aziraphale need to talk about things. That is not their strong suit.”

My Notes: I ache and I yearn for this type of content they are literally. They are LITERALLY… I’m going to burst into flames.

Title: The Quiet, Persistent, Gnawing Unease

Author: LillipopCop

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 20,850

Summary: “An exploration of the serious toll Hell's physical and psychological grip has taken on Crowley since his Fall.”

My Notes: Fics where Crowley experiences emotional distress own my ass.

Title: Make a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul

Author: Zolac_no_Miko

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 10,573

Summary: “It was a compulsion that he couldn’t quite define. A burning in his blood, a tingle on the palms of his hands. A restlessness that drove him to art galleries, antique stores, and street markets, seeking some object that would please Aziraphale. Something beautiful, or something useful—something he would want to keep. It started with little things, small tokens that didn’t require a special occasion: an embroidered silk bookmark; a rare and delicate tea from the highlands of China; a steel pen and inkwell to replace Aziraphale’s quill pen, and then a fountain pen to replace that. And then things started to get out of hand.”

My Notes: Another nesting fic that almost wiped me the fuck out.

Title: Crown of Thorns [The Walls, the Wainscot, and the Mouse] 'Verse

Author: irisbleufic ( @irisbleufic )

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 275,000

Summary: ““D’you realize,” [Crowley] said, “that we never tire of things humans get bored with on the regular?” Aziraphale shrugged, lazily basking. “I’ve always assumed it’s that we don’t tire of each other.””

My Notes: Please for the love of god and all that is holy if you have not read this fic, read it. I consider it canon.

Title: fires of the flesh, both literal and figurative

Author: mercuryhatter

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,726

Summary: “Pretty standard "there's a sex curse and Crowley has to have way too many orgasms or be discorporated" stuff.”

My Notes: Yeah this is. Where I’m gonna start to get shy about my notes. It’s funny and it’s hot. Yeah.

Title: The Understanding

Author: Zetared

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 37,918

Summary: “Crowley is untethered. Aziraphale knows how to secure a knot. (He’s read many books on the subject, after all).”

My Notes: In which the underlying plot is a little strange but the overlying porn is very good.

Title: Come Fuck Me Hips

Author: AgentStannerShipper

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,471

Summary: “Crowley has had a fantasy about Aziraphale for centuries now. Too bad the angel would never take him up on it. Except, as it turns out, he absolutely would.”

My Notes: Everybody has read this and if you haven’t then you better because it’s. It’s good.

Title: If I Regard Iniquity

Author: elektratios

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,912

Summary: ““Aziraphale…” Crowley’s mouth worked a bit but no more words would come out. He cleared his throat. “Aziraphale, there’s no,” he gestured vaguely, “iniquity here.” He winced at his choice of words. “No-one is watching, no-one is judging. It’s just us.””

My Notes: I will literally dunk myself in the trash holy shit. It’s. It’s good.

Title: that pulse of my nights and days

Author: Ark

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,694

Summary: “Aziraphale laughs, the delighted, breathy giggle he gives after his second bottle of champagne. “Such a shame we didn’t come to this sooner,” he says, pulling back and—oh, naughty angel!—increasing the length and girth of his cock when he pushes back in. Crowley gasps, and Aziraphale—greedy, too!—tilts in to swallow the sound from his lips, flicks his tongue against Crowley’s as though chasing after the flavor of this elongated pleasure.”

My Notes: This one is uh. This is a dirty one. It’s good but it sure is filthy.

Title: A Home at the Beginning of the World

Author: stereobone

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5,867

Summary: “"Oh," Aziraphale says. "I think Crowley might have moved in with me."”

My Notes: Everyone has read this one too but for good reason because it’s fucking amazing and makes me wanna scream.

Title: The One In Which Crowley Discovers Wanking

Author: for_autumn_i_am

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5,784

Summary: “It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin.”

My Notes: It’s what the title says and it’s hot.

Title: Love Hath Made Thee A Tame Snake

Author: thehoyden

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,484

Summary: “He was the bloody Serpent of Eden, and he wasn’t going to stand for this kind of flagrant trespassing.”

My Notes: It’s uhhhhhhh… it’s hot!

Title: A Bolt From The Heavens

Author: coloursflyaway

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11,235

Summary: “Aziraphale is going to show Crowley just how much he is loved. Through touch.”

My Notes: I will LITERALLY collapse on the floor… it’s too much for me

Title: Say Amen

Author: SinningPlumpPrincess

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,967

Summary: “Despite being in a relationship, they still long and yearn for each other.

Despite being in a relationship, Crowley can't get over that Aziraphale loves touching him.”

My Notes: I’m a very simple woman. I see a fic tagged “dry humping” and I click on it.

Title: Praise Be to Crowley

Author: FishingforCrows

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,306

Summary: “A simple comment from Aziraphale gets an unexpected reaction from Crowley. Aziraphale is curious to see what happens if he repeats the same comment in the bedroom.”

My Notes: It has praise kink crowley how am I not supposed to find it hot.

Title: Tea for One

Author: Kaesa

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,072

Summary: “Crowley doesn't have a lot of complaints about sex with Aziraphale, but he can't help being miffed when Aziraphale stops just to have another sip of tea.”

My Notes: A two for one: funny and sexy

Title: rest yourself with me

Author: sabinelagrande

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,380

Summary: “Crowley has a wonderful invention that he's just dying to try.”

My Notes: It’s funny and it’s hot what more could you ask for?

Title: let the rivers fill

Author: focusfixated

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,996

Summary: ““Darling,” Aziraphale answered. “I’m here.” His hand stroked through Crowley’s hair, teasing out the snarls of red that tangled around his fingers, matted with sweat and knotted where Crowley had thrashed his head against the pillows. “Can you turn over for me, love?” Weakly, Crowley’s eyes flickered down, and he saw the angel blushing, as if now, suddenly, of all things, he had succumbed to reticence. He was sat back on his knees, and the soft accordion folds of him were dewy with sweat and moonlight. His heart constricting somewhere in his useless chest, Crowley turned over, and spread his legs.”

My Notes: I see overstimulation and I fucking floor it. Please never stop writing fics where they have limitless stamina.

Title: sweet just like frustration

Author: teatales

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 7,174

Summary: “Crowley danced on the line between self-serving and selfless when it came to Aziraphale. He would do anything, anything for the angel. Anything he asked, anything he suggested, anything he needed but didn’t say aloud. But Crowley was also a terribly, desperately greedy thing. And oh, how he wanted. Wanted Aziraphale with every damned fibre of his infernal being. Wanted to be good for him; so, so good that he would never want to leave. Crowley wanted to be the best, his only, his everything. As much as he wished to lie there in exquisite rapture - he was nothing if not lazy - he needed to at least attempt to communicate all that he felt. To make Aziraphale feel even a quarter of what he experienced. He had to try.”

My Notes: Just LOOK at that summary. How can I read that summary without being expected to fucking faint. Jesus christ!!

Title: The Human Way

Author: battle_cat

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,780

Summary: “They're finally about to fuck on the bookshop couch and Aziraphale wants to know what Crowley wants.”

My Notes: I SEE A FIC WHERE CROWLEY DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS AND IS JUST TRYING TO MAKE AZIRAPHALE HAPPY AND I BURST INTO FLAMES

Title: We Waited Long Enough

Author: syrupfactory

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,170

Summary: “After a few months of (finally) officially dating, Aziraphale is a little hurt when Crowley seems amused by his eagerness for sex. Why? Because Aziraphale actually wants way, way more. Fortunately, that's a fun problem to solve.”

My Notes: THEY EACH THINK THE OTHER ISN’T AS INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX AS THEY ARE AND THEN THEY HAVE MARATHON SEX AND I’M SWEATING.

Title: As Advertised on TV

Author: Mr_Customs_Man

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,045

Summary: “Everything that Crowley knew about sex, he learned from watching movies. As fun as movies are, they don't provide a comprehensive sex education. Needless to say, he has some misconceptions in regards to the act.”

My Notes: This is NOT a sexy fic!! It is sad and it wrenches my heart and I WORRY. Crowley please communicate your NEEDS.

Title: until you say it out loud

Author: attheborder

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6,293

Summary: “And Aziraphale is realizing now, to its fullest, something he’s suspected for nearly as long as he’s known Crowley: the demon is no silver-tongued devil. He is no weaver of words, no smooth talker. It would fit in with his image, certainly— shouldn’t a man-shaped being dressed like an oilslick have speech just as dark and slippery— but there’s very little of either of them that’s as it ought to be, really.”

My Notes: This fic ignited me and I burst into flames. You’re probably starting to see a trend in what I like to read.

Title: Coitus Interruptus with Paperwork

Author: mountagrue

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,780

Summary: “The one where Azira Fell (directly onto Crowley's dick, did not pass go, did not fill out the appropriate forms).”

My Notes: Scream this is funny and horny Aziraphale falls and immediately gets to dicking down his demon while Gabriel suffers the aftermath. 

Title: What Crowley Wants

Author: crookedashes

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 7,022

Summary: “Aziraphale wants to give Crowley what he wants most. It goes a bit sideways.”

My Notes: I die for this content can they communicate like normal people for FIVE MINUTES? Ft. Crowley feeling inadequate and me flying into the sun.

Title: All The Rest

Author: darlingred1

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11,416

Summary: “If it weren’t for Aziraphale’s persistence, they wouldn’t have had a sex life at all, and Crowley was a demon, for goodness sake! Aziraphale didn’t understand it. (Aziraphale has the communication skills of a doorknob. Crowley isn't any better.)”

My Notes: Aziraphale and Crowley are like *has horny communication issues* and i’m like *nuts*

Title: and in this way their love rewrites the universe

Author: leaveanote

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 9,503

Summary: “They've been desperately in love for a year since the world didn't end, and they've been making little miracles happen for each other. Crowley's latest? A date outside of London, at a drive-in movie theatre in the South Downs. Yes, they have sex in the Bentley.”

My Notes: IT’S SAPPY IT’S TENDER IT’S HORNY IT’S ROMANTIC THEY INVENTED LOVE!!!

Title: sanctuary

Author: leaveanote

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6,779

Summary: “It's about making a home together. It takes some getting used to, to take all this longing and transmute it into love, into something shared, but Aziraphale is here to help him get used to it. Especially on a stormy day in the cottage.

What better way to spend it than making love over and over and over?”

My Notes: I am literally a mess I read fics where they’re madly in love and want to stay close and I explode

Title: The Skin And Bones Of You

Author: entangelednow

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,001

Summary: “In which Crowley has spent six thousand years wanting something he doesn't think he deserves. It's only natural to assume he won't get to keep it.”

My Notes: I swear to god i will SCREAM!! IT’S TOO MUCH!! PLEASE NEVER STOP WRITING CROWLEY AS INSECURE.

Title: love like the dawn

Author: leaveanote

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,755

Summary: “This is sleepy, romantic, domestic morning sex in the South Downs Cottage. Crowley's still getting used to a love this good, the way it remakes him, the way it remakes the world.”

My Notes: I can’t with this like they’re just so in love I’ve lost the ability to breathe this fic stole my lungs and left me for dead

Title: to sleep, perchance to dream

Author: starkhasheart

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,023

Summary: “Crowley has a kink. Of course Aziraphale is going to indulge him.”

My Notes: Uhhhhhh it’s. Uhhh. Consensual somnophilia is uh… yeah.

Title: on the same page

Author: Chekhov

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: ~85,746

Summary: “Aziraphale Z. Fell is a rising star of the spiritual literary genre - the next Eat Pray Love guy - and his version of Chicken Soup For the Christian Soul is flying off the shelves. It's not that he's not grateful, but it's one thing to enjoy a career in writing and another completely to be pigeonholed into a specific genre, so much so that you are almost forbidden from writing anything else. So yes, maybe he has a bit of a secret. An outlet for his less... appropriate urges. And yes, if his typical readership got word of the sort of paragraphs he could put out on a particularly inspired night, they might suffer some form of heart attack typical for their age. But all of that is well hidden, and there is absolutely no way anyone would ever find out about his Arrangement with A.J. Crowley - the most debaucherous romantic fiction author of the decade. That is... until they have to pretend to be married to each other.”

My Notes: THIS ONE ISN’T FINISHED YET BUT IT’S A HUMAN AU AND EVERY UPDATE MAKES ME FOAM AT THE MOUTH

Title: be mine

Author: leaveanote

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,994

Summary: “It's their first Valentine's Day together, and Crowley is trying to pick out the right present.”

My Notes: I SCREAM I actually did not realize how many of this authors works I had bookmarked and HOLY SHIT!! THEY ARE JUST SO IN LOVE!! AHHHHH!!

Title: do we get what we deserve

Author: Smalls

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11,064

Summary: “Crowley had not been a particularly good angel.

Unfortunately, Crowley had never been a particularly good demon either.”

My Notes: Cannot lie this had me openly sobbing on a Friday morning and left me emotionally raw

Title: Renting Crowley

Author: Amorous_Flammetta

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 8,018

Summary: “Crowley acts out Aziraphale's Victorian-era fantasy of taking a rent boy home for the night. Their little game includes costumes, champagne, dirty talk and explicit sex!”

My Notes: ITS A RENT BOY FANTASY BUT IT’S ALSO TENDER AND LOVING AND IT HAD ME SWEATING AND MADE ME EMOTIONAL

Title: do me right and do me wrong (give it up, give it up)

Author: seashadows

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 10,828

Summary: “Crowley copes with attention starvation, tries out some new hobbies, and discovers that asking for what you need is better than the alternative.”

My Notes: I’M GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE THIS ONE MADE ME SCREAM LIKE I JUST CANNOT HANDLE IT ATTENTION STARVATION WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

Title: For The Longest Time

Author: darlingred1

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 20,370

Summary: “Crowley kind of misses the pining when it's gone. Aziraphale comes up with a solution.”

My Notes: It was hot and funny and lasted just long enough to really make me antsy for the conclusion.

Title: Clementine

Author: Mussimm

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 49,073

Summary: “The seaside neighbours AU exactly one person asked for.”

My Notes: HUMAN AU WHERE THEY LIVE BY THE BEACH AND FALL IN LOVE AKA BE STILL MY BEATING HEART

Title: Gentle but Intoxicating, Nervous but Tender 

Author: ShortInsomniac98 ( @devilsss-dyke )

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,868

Summary: “Crowley x vulva-having reader. // It wasn’t what you’d expected when you agreed to come home with him. What you’d expected was a maybe a quick, clumsy fuck, then out the door. Not some nervous but tender man who stammered out an, 'Is this okay then?' This was much nicer, much sweeter.”

My Notes: No comment besides uhhhhhh [sweats]

[ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive]

Lust purrs at the affection. Something others would raise their eyebrows at but he has never known a familial bond quite like this. He will enjoy it. “Maybe it did not upset me as much as it would Connor,” the demon admits. “But it does remind me of what happened in hell.” A tiny smile curled his lips.