#[[ but its a really fuckin sappy reason ]]

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

𓏲 ࣪₊♡ what i think katsuki n’ shouto would listen to !♡𓏲 ࣪₊

a/n : so I had this ready..but Tumblr fuckin ate the og ask..so anon if ur still sticking around (this was sent to me before I want on my break :(() ily !! and I hope you enjoy ! and all of y'all too off ! 3K WE UP !!

katsuki ♡

for some reason, i cannot get the image of katsuki listening to nobody by skindred out of my head LMFAOOO

(maybe bc ive been listening to it non stop)

so anyways i think you can tell that i'm feeling very metal for him,, nu metal, heavy metal, groove metal he's all for it ! i don't see him being particularly picky about it.

i think he'd listen to deftones, slipknot, skindred and korn ! i think he also has other similar bands in his playlist but i see these as most of his mains !

katsuki's a renowned little shit, so he'll share his earbuds with you, have you thinking he's on some cute shit only for him to hide his phone screen from you to jumpscare with a hyper loud song so he can snicker about it like a mountain troll💀

so yeah he's extremely irritating. of course if ur into it yall jam out together !!

buuuut on the other hand he definitely is a rap/hip hop and r&b typa guy !

i can definitely see him listening to some mf doom, tupac and DEFINITELY kendrick lamar oh em gee

pls don't get me started on r&b,,,i know he'd love him some brent faiyaz..teehehehe <3

i feel like he'd really like frank ocean and tyler the creator ! i feel like he wouldn't be a hyper fan, but he has a lot of songs in his playlist !

don't ask me why yall,,,but tell me why i see him listening to fugees and erykah badu...dreamy sigh

so yeah he'll jumpscare the shit outta you with his loud music, but most of the time when he's not being a nuisance he'll happily share his earbud with you and put on some sappy soul song to subtly tell you he love you cus hes shy lolol

a lot of the songs he listens to he relates to so,, if he plays the intro of all mine by brent faiyaz.. KNOW ITS ABOUT YOUUU!!!

shouto♡

now shouto's a lil trickier for me..i feel like he likes to experiment w new music genres sometimes, but he has his lil favourites yaknow??

i like thinking he'd listen to steve lacy and frank ocean ! he has a few select songs that he likes the most ! he gives me infrunami n' mercury typa vibes

it feels the best for me to say he'd listen to indie rock/pop (sorry if these aren't the right terms yall it's googles fault if they aint😭)

i feel like he fucks w the smiths HEAVY. i also see him listening to the cure ! he also gives me smells like teen spirit by nirvana !

like i said i feel like he likes to experiment cus lemme be honest i feel he's messy😭 like his playlist is a clusterfuck

there is no sad playlist or casual playlist like everything is in one playlist LMFAOOO

but no yeah he doesn't care much, which is why i think if you put him on the good shit you might see some pink pantheress n some laufey in there LMFAOO

if you recommend a song to him it's probably in there before you can blink lololol

shouto also starts copying your playlist after a while lolol soon you'll start thinking you have your phone when you scroll thru his playlist but nah💀

i also see him listening to mitski..need i say more ?

this was such a cute ask and it was rlly fun to do !! if you guys have any questions like these PLEAASSEEE feel free to ask me !!! tysm for the ask anon n' m'sorry it took me so long to respond ! i'm gettin' to all your asks one at a time, so please be patient with me <3 !!!

[the-s1lly-corner]

OMHOMGOMG I KNOW U SAID U’R GETTING A LOT OF TADC REQUESTS BUT THIS IDEAAAA JUST CAME TO ME

How would the TADC gang react if they were on Kiss Cam? I know it wouldn’t make much sense since they’re in a game, but let’s use our ✨imagination✨ for now. Or digital hallucinations.

Would they refuse bc they want their privacy? Or would they have no problem with it? I feel like Jax would say you two are siblings or related in some way for sh!ts and giggles (even tho my fav isn’t Jax I’m just assuming lmao)

TADC cast x reader but theyre on a kiss cam!

WOOOOOOOO unrelated to the ask/post but yesterday i made decorated christmas cookies. and iced them for the first time and!! they may not be the prettiest, but theyre so yummy and you know what! im still proud RAAAAAAAH!! not giving any reason as to why theres a kiss cam so the readers can have their own takes and ideas for the scenario (and also admin was stumped SOBS)

CAINE:

honestly hes probably the one doing the kiss cam and the one angling it, if not its bubble... regardless, i think he would have a hand in it landing on the two of you... perhaps even rushing to your side just a second before the cam turns your way. this was all a ploy! raaah! probably presents his cheek to you in the most comical way, like hes leaning towards you and folding his hands together and turning his head off to the side... is absolutely ecstatic when you humor him and give him a quick peck. probably releases a bunch of confetti and sparkles even though this whole thing was likely orchestrated by him. fuckin loser/j

POMNI:

probably freezes when she sees that the cam landed on the two of you. gives you the fattest side eye as if to silently ask if you want to go through with kissing in front of everyone, being broadcasted and all.... either shes stuck frozen and youre going to have to initiate; or shes going to give you the quickest cheek kiss known the man before either of you can even fully process whats going on... though pomni does strike me as the type to want to respect her privacy....

RAGATHA:

also the type to want to respect their privacy, probably gives a quick reprimand to anyone who tries to pressure her into committing to the bit (cough cough jax, who is likely joking but feeding into it nonetheless)... she probably looks at the cam and gently shakes her head; perhaps even putting her hands up in a funky surrender and with a small nervous smile on her head. like if it werent being broadcasted on a huge screen they would be fine with giving you a kiss on the cheek or forehead in front of a few people, buuuut... thats not exactly whats going on here...

JAX:

honestly i think jax's first instinct would be to do something inappropriate the second he sees thats hes on the cam, just to mess with caine. doesnt even cross his mind at first to say or do anything with you... and perhaps he even wastes his opportunity to lightly embarrass you since caine probably rips the camera off of him due to his actions.... but on the chance he decides to do something with you before doing something else, he probably loudly exclaims that he doesnt know you or something similar to what you said in the ask!

KINGER:

freezes for a split moment before sheepishly turning towards you and asking for permission. while i do think kinger would enjoy privacy, he doesnt really see anything controversial in kissing his partner; since its not exactly wild or inappropriate plus how can he turn up a chance to get some affection? probably the only one whos willing to kiss you on the mouth.. or rather kiss as best as he can.. still quick, but you can tell theres love in there. sappy old man. pukes/j

ZOOBLE:

down right refuses to do anything on the cam, probably flips it off. does not like the attention it brings or being put on the spot; plus they generally dont like showing affection publicly outside of handholding and endearing names. definitely values their privacy... please dont kiss them on their cheek while the cam is on you guys, they will whip their head around and will probably smack you with it on accident... oh but also i think thats an overstep so thats a possible new issue, i think. not that theyre ashamed to be seen giving/receiving affection from you or that theyre ashamed to be your partner. quite the opposite. zooble just likes keeping their life private

GANGLE:

her mask pops off out of surprise and reveals her tragedy mask/j except i do think that she can do that... so maybe /hj... hmm... way too shy to do anything and youre too nice to put her in any situation that can make her uncomfortable or stress out, so youre the one rejecting the cam for gangles sake... she feels so bad for making you have to choose, though, especially if shes under the impression that you wanted to kiss her on cam. please reassure her shes fine and didnt do anything wrong

[l0vergirlatheart]

can I get a twst Dorm leaders headcanon with a student that wears their headphones a lot bc they're sensitive to loud noises?

Have this image too

this is so me wtf (both the req and the image lmfaooo)

didnt do anyone esle because im lazy and tired and its nearly midnight AAAAAAAAAAA

anyways as always, start under cut

MALLEUS DRACONIA

he is old

mentally

im not a hater i swear

but when he sees you with things hanging out of your ears, he's slightly concerned.

whether it's normal headphones or earphones or earbuds, it just doesn't seem normal

so of course, he informs you of this

you stare at him for a second before you take an earbud out and stare at him again, with a following "what'd you say?"

he thinks it's harming your ears for a moment because you couldn't hear him

please reassure baby that it's not an infection or something

he'll be confused for a moment but he gets the hang of it rather quickly

SHARE AN EARBUD WITH HIM!!!

SHARE YOUR MUSIC W HIM!! HE WILL FALL AS HARDER, IF IT'S EVEN POSSIBLE

he jus luvs any classical tunes but..

i actually honestly think he's also like hard metal... don't ask me why

OH!! AND TV GIRL

HE LOVES TV GIRL!!!!

LISTENING TO LOVERS ROCK AND CIGARETTES AFTER SEX TOGETHER MAKES HIM MELT :((( <3

overall 10/10 good boy

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

he KNOWS what it's like to have sensitive ears

so believe it or not, he totally understands u wearing earbuds an (probably) won't rip on u for it

he might start talking to you w/o u knowing because you have your eyes closed and youre just vibin w ur music

and he knows that so he takes that chance to say some sappy shit w/o anyone hearing him at all

he could never say it to your face

so he opts for this instead

fuckin big ass ego mf /affectionate

he'll probably never ask to listen to the music w u no matter how much he wants too

so if you wanna have a silly lil romantic moment w him, you'll have to ask him first

he'll probably scoff an roll his eyes before he sees you pout and he just turns away as one of his ears flicker

that's your sign to put the earbud in

imo i think he'd really like MSI, POPPY, and for some reason Mac DeMarco

mindless self indulgence because their music jus slaps

POPPY because i think he'd like the guitar in the background and the solos and her voice

Mac DeMarco because he's nice to listen to when you wanna pass out fr

overall 8/10 good boy

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

okay dont come at me but at first i have a feeling he might try to use it to rope u into some kind of contract...

but later on he just accepts it

he's sometimes annoyed when he's talking to you an u havent heard a thing he said

but one confused look from you makes his annoyed frown turn into a small, hard-to-keep pout

has to remind himself that your hearing is different from his

he tries his best to keep monstro lounge quiet at times and lets you stay after hours when it's all quiet and empty

it has a certain comforting charm

i swear the first time you asked him to listen to music with him

he turned into stew i swear his face was extremely red and he was just like

???

he accepted ofc, tried to play it off, (failed)

i have a feeling he'd like Ricky Montgomery, Steve Lacy, and girl in red

Ricky Montgomery because he's got a nice voice and his lyrics are really relateable,

Steve Lacy because the instrumentals are just so!!!

and girl in red because he finds it romantic listening to her w you

lean against him as you two listen to music i promise he'll explode

overall 9.5/10 good boy

KALIM AL-ASIM

oh boy

this boy is super loud (/affectionate)

but once he learns about you and your sensitive hearing, he tries his best to keep it down

from lowering his voice a bit to trying to make "quiet times" at his dorm,

he tries his best to make sure you're as comfortable as possible and it's not too loud for you

he likes to talk to you even if you're not listening to him, he could ramble for hours

as long as you're next to him, he could talk until his voices dries out and withers away

he'll probably be the one to ask you to listen to music first

i think he'd also like Mac DeMarco, Alec Benjamin, and Conan Gray

all of them because of the instrumentals and vocals!

but he doesn't mind listening to anything as long as he's with you

he might fall asleep while listening though

he's smiling all the way through though :)

overall 15/10 good boy

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

theres probably some bs rule about music n shit but like

lets pretend there isn't

he'll probably be trying to reprimand you for doing some stupid shit

and then you'll just take out an earbud and be like "huh??"

he'll just stare up at you, face slowly getting redder from slight anger but mostly embarrassment

like?? how dare you ignore him???

but either way, you're his favorite so you get a pass

he just sighs and shakes his head

but then you tell him why you wear your earbuds so often and he immediately gets it

he himself used to really sensitive to loud noises before he just got used to them (thanks to his mom)

so he does his best to go easy on you about it

he WILL NOT EVER ASK YOU TO JOIN HE IS WAYYY TOO SHY

hand him an earbud, he'll be confused for a moment or two

but he puts it in w a red face and vibes w u

i think he'd like Mitski, Tally Hall, and Pastel Ghost

they all are just so... soothing yet relatable

fall asleep listening to Liquid Smooth with him, hug him as you listen to Hidden In the Sand, just hold his hand as you two sit in the garden while listening to Silhouette...

he loves it sm

overall 9.3/10 good boy

[front-facing-pokemon]

yeah, there’s a lot of things named after Pokémon, and while it is mainly bugs, a dinosaur fossil was named after bulbasaur because of its nose

There was three different beetles that were similar but different enough to be different things, and so rare they were named after the legendary bird trio (Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres)

There’s also a bee named after Charizard because of i’s orange fur and “dragonesque” head shape

They named a wasp with a spike on its head after weedle

and finally dinosaur similar to a pterodactyl was named after aerodactyl

i did end up seeing some things about these when i looked up that pheromosa bug! ugh. the amount of cultural impact that this silly little game franchise has had is fuckin. crazy to me. hell, i made a whole blog about it, it's so good. i guess it's the highest-grossing media franchise in the world for a reason, but to me pokémon is more than that. i dunno. i just woke up i don't have the energy to get sappy about pokémon

uh oh more excuses to get sappy. yeah, the queue is a bit into gen 8 by now—but to be honest, we weren't at gen 3 that long ago. i say, even though i just remembered that this blog has been going since at least the middle of last year since it was going during my trip to san francisco. well shit. yeah it's been going for a bit so this isn't surprising to me but you're one of the real ones for sticking around that long

pretty low ratings overall for the ultra beasts here, which i kinda expected. none of them Really have noses in the same way as most pokémon, so rating their non-existent noses would be a little. difficult

[selfshiprequests]

If it's no trouble, could I get headcanons for Darkiplier and Anticepticeye with a male s/i who loves to listen to music with them and get them into new bands and songs?

sure thing anon!! i didnt expect to get any ego requests, i was super happy to see this in the inbox <3 hope ya like it

- mod malware

they both love to hear about the things you like; music included! granted, you won't often hear them say it out loud, especially from anti, but hey, it's the thought that counts, yeah?

outwardly, anti scoffs at whatever you're making him listen to, acting like its an inconvenience, but there's a reason he lets you play the music for him anyways. he often actually likes the songs and artists you introduce him to; even the ones that seem WAY out of character for him to enjoy. turns out he actually has pretty broad music taste

"dude, this song fuckin' sucks." (his head has been nodding to the beat since it started playing)

of course, his preferences lean more towards rock, death metal, breakcore, and dubstep, which is the type of music he'll blast loud enough to be heard through the entire house without any shame. but, if you occasionally make him listen to a sappy love song or a pop song too catchy for it's own good, you might catch him listening to it with headphones on at 3am.

he tends to get really into his music too, for lack of better phrasing. listening to music can change his entire mood, for better or for worse; naturally, he prefers music that'll get him fuckin pumped up !!!!

and then, we have dark. his taste in music is a lot more enclosed; he tends to prefer slower, gentle music, often in the circle of classical, jazz, swing, sometimes opera and even musical theatre when he's feeling more dramatic. he'd probably take a liking to the rocky horror picture show.

that being said though, he's willing to listen to whatever you'd like him to listen to; he can tell it means something to you, and he'll trust your judgement.

"hm, this is... interesting. who did you say composed this? i'll have to take a look into their catalogue later."

he's not super likely to actively enjoy or seek out a lot of the music you show him, as he generally just doesn't like a lot of modern music. there's definitely the occasional exception though.

maybe try to avoid stuff that's too energetic (anything that anti would like basically), as it can give him headaches.

i imagine trying to jam out with both of them would be a little difficult considering their very very opposing music tastes (anti thinks dark's music is boring, dark thinks anti's music is just mindless noise).

"listen, anti, there's a very distinct emotional turmoil present in the flow of the melody, one that-"

"blah blah blah, nobody cares about your 'emotional turmoil' old man. your music is shit, go argue with a wall"

... you're sure to find something they both like eventually, right?

and even if you don't, well, they'd probably both stay anyways. because if it makes you happy to share your music with them, then it'd be worth it in the end, without question.

maybe you'll find they secretly have an affinity for lady gaga or something :P

[the-bloody-sadist]

Repressed anon from before! I was wondering, what specifically do you mean by the horror of love? The inherent vulnerability of it, the fact that someone has to die first, something else?

Dissecting complicated emotions and concepts is a passion of mine too, but I can’t do it through art very well yet so I have to do it with words haha

My family was pretty much polar opposite, but with a similar effect somehow. Instead of sterile, my family was nothing but dysfunction and mental illness incarnate. The only person to provide any semblance of normalcy was my super religious grandma lol.

Your art is like. Super aesthetically pleasing exposure therapy for me right now. Trying to get over my squeamishness one beautifully horrifying picture and fic at a time.

Also, as for the terror and regret that comes with opening up about yourself and your experiences— vulnerability is pure courage. Your art is deeply personal and anything that you choose to share about the creation and meaning of it is an honor to learn. Which sounds sappy as hell but it’s fuckin true!! It’s so easy to tear other people down, but it’s so hard to put yourself out there. Also, salient fact here: it’s your blog. If someone doesn’t like what you say on your own personal platform, then they can leave. This is your slice of the void to yell into. Let the zestyness flow through you 😈

And since we’re identifying ourselves using emojis,

- 🦡 anon

Yay, hello again, sweet! I'm loving the names for anons, really helps me keep conversations straight and organized! Welcome to the family, badger anon 🦡 !

And now, oh shit, you've asked me to explain the horror of love comment. It encompasses my life experiences, so it's very personal to me, and the reason why all my romance stories will probably be thrillers and psychological horror. So see I was like...trying to put the horror genre with the love category, and that's when I started using that phrase to describe my work.

Let me mention some factors of my childhood that give light to this phrase, since you shared about your family, too (and thank you for sharing!).

I grew up with a narcissist and an enabler for parents, parading around as the perfect couple. First horror of love: if you're in someone's care, you're also at their mercy.

Hopefully you see my trajectory with this beginning lol.

The love you grow up with is the one you learn to accept as the definition of love. You seek it out unconsciously for the rest of your miserable life. This isn't the case for everyone, of course, as some can break free of it, but it's been my own curse, thus far. I've only broken free for now because I'm staying away from anything deeper than casual dates.

I've talked about it in other asks before, but to me, love is terrifying. Not because of the vulnerability that comes with it or the chance that a partner might die before you, but because the only experiences I've had with that came from those whose true colors were mortifying. And all because parental love became my example. Love meant being ignored, being lonely, playing pretend. Love meant never having boundaries but respecting others' at all costs. Love meant doing everything in my power to please, or impress, or elicit positive emotions, only to learn that, in the end, nothing would ever be enough. No matter what I did or how I acted, there was always something to be fixed, and if my parents' stellar reputation wasn't polished to its finest, I was a sinner, somehow, and something had to be done.

So I basically grew up with zero personality, mirroring everyone else, to be frank. I had access to two whole emotions: fear and happiness. If me or any of my siblings felt anything else, it was "snap out of it" from the parents, no matter the circumstance. Pet dog died? That's okay, try to move on. Cry for one day and you're probably fine. God forbid you speculate that it's because your father abused it, even if it died because it got left too long on a yard chain. A chain it strangled itself in because it was wildly unsafe. Mother miscarried a child? Let's give the baby a funny name and make jokes about it hanging out in heaven on the same day we announce its death to the family.

And me, when I returned from the worst trauma of my life? Well, eventually I became part of the jokes, too, after telling them what I went through. My siblings even repeated a line my abuser said to me as the punchline, sometimes.

All this is to explain that I grew up numb. I was an artist, expressing myself was the biggest personality trait I had. But that passion was stepped on and boxed away, because I had to dress the way they said, draw the things they approved of. "Be yourself" was literally a phrase that they made fun of and said was bad, so I had no self that I knew of. I was them, or whoever I was supposed to become to make them stop hurting me. I was not capable of playing the same game that they did, however, in terms of religion and being affected by nothing. Eventually I imagined I'd lost the ability to feel at all, because I hid anything that did come out, and behind the scenes was in shock. Nothing affected me outwardly except the power of fear. I was never happy, but my family chronically and toxically was, so I had to mirror it to survive in that environment. Otherwise I became the joke, I was seen as moping, or I was told I was uncooperative.

This environment created a sort of trauma-bonded codependency on my siblings. We didn't realize it at the time, but we were cowering under a tyrant and his wife whom everyone told us were the greatest parents in the world. If they made us feel awful about ourselves or isolated us from interactions outside of their watchful eyes, it was just because that's how families worked, and the families who didn't were wrong. Sinful, even.

No public school, no sleepovers, no TV, no 'secular' media. No sex ed, no outside opinions, no movies with language, no looking at other peoples' phones. No books that weren't garbage christian authors who didn't know a thing about writing.

Everything was barbed wire, everything was rules.

So you can imagine how such a view of loving parents was only horror, and how that transferred right over into my first romantic partner. I ran away with that partner to escape that house, and lived in another house that was exactly the same, except without the play pretend, the bumper rails, or the emotional capacity needed to survive.

I won't go into that part, because a stupid story I wrote covers that bit just fine, lol. Sinner, my silly little fanfic about FyoZai. Sorry for the ad break, but that story is my life. If you'd like to learn about my feelings and certain complexities of how I see love, that's where it is in a better form than I could ever explain it, here.

I don't think you should've encouraged me to let the zestyness flow through. I unleashed the trauma dump, and I'm still holding back so much detail. 😂 I shouldn't be such an open book but hey, who reads Tumblr asks anyway except the asker? Maybe like ten out of the thousands that follow me. Although the rest just read Sinner, which is my professional trauma dump LMAO.

Anyway after all that, I had my villain arc and now I'm the one in charge. Mwahahah. I tried lots of stuff after that first relationship, made things worse, discovered new things, realized that I was a sadist, and that being a sadist didn't mean I had some demonic force to get rid of like my mother had thought when I told her as a kid.

A lot of people have "loved" me along the way. The way I felt about that love ranged from disgusted to afraid. For now, asexuality is the place where I'm safe, so that's where I stay, and I blue-ball anyone who asks for anything else. 😇 BDSM is a nice outlet for that bit, though, so I've had my fun with those who wanted me to do pain play on them, without the sexual aspect involved. I think it would be nice to have a dedicated partner someday who was an asexual masochist or something. LMAO.

IN CONCLUSION! Thanks for your beautiful descriptions of my artwork, and for praising my vulnerability on main! I hope I explained the little deal with the horror of love. I hope through my art and my fiction (if you get into that side of my work) will help you dissect all the things you feel, too.

Much love, my sweet! And sorry to anyone whose dashboard got bombarded with my little tragic drama tale.

(P.s. the TLDR for anyone who knows Sinner is that once upon a time I used to be Dazai and now I'm Fyodor [but the reformed Fyodor, without all the evil villain kidnapper rapist stuff LMAO])

[space-ninja-fashion-show]

Okay okay

So

Aggristone

Started with Friend Limbro giving me thoughts about North giving Higgins something to hold on to while they're gone, bc of how badly Higgins handled the initial separation and the almost-loss of the Rumblejack. Something to be a comfort and a promise of return, of being thought of even when apart

Which sidenote is fuckin Unfair bc i Die for "character design getting altered to show connection to another person" and also i thought this shit starts with North getting the first snake tattoo. Well Think Again, they've been on this bullshit for way longer actually and also Higgins Started It

So I started thinking about what the fuck it even could be that North gives Higgins that he can have on him at all times. What the fuck do you give to a warframe that they can't lose during battle. And i started looking through the various Duviri resources in hopes of inspiration, and

Aggristone It is said that Aggri Formations are hardened saliva from mighty Orowyrms. Duviri citizens believe Aggristones are powerful talismans.

This caught my eye

Cue minor yelling detour as I wanted to compare them to hag stones and then found out that they're literally Based On Those, hag stones in Egypt are called aggri and even the hardened saliva bit checks out with one of the bits of folklore surrounding them

Yeah the image for Aggristones doesn't have a hole in it like hag stones do but i'm imposing it on there bc i like this connection and i think hag stones are simply Neat

So. North brings home an aggristone for Higgins as just a neat lil gift. A good luck/protection charm from Duviri, but also just a nice trinket. A cool rock with a hole through it and a string looped through that hole to make it wearable around one's neck

Higgins is So Excited over having been Brought Something on top of just having North back in one piece and relatively content, and he puts it on immediately despite knowing it can't stay there forever. Doesn't take it off until the next time he goes on a mission. North is also really happy about him liking it so much, not just any gift but a gift from Duviri loaded with so much meaning about "see, i didn't forget you, i would never" and "here is a piece of my world, if you would like to wear it" and Higgins can Tell

He keeps it close and wears it when North goes back to Duviri the next time, and it's then that he decides that he just…doesn't wanna take it off. Which is not a reasonable idea in and of itself. But being made of living, evolving metal has its benefits sometimes

I can't figure out how the scene goes exactly bc devotion easy but words hard, but he does ask North about it when they return, this doesn't just happen out of nowhere, but. He asks the Helminth to embed the stone in his armour

I don't have a screenshot of Higgins for this but see this bit here? This bit i by chance didn't include when i drew Higgins before? Yeah

What goes there now on my design is gonna be a stone with a hole in it embedded right in the middle of this sappy idiot's chest, with lines running up to his neck making it look like it's still hanging on string. And over time, bc warframes evolve, it becomes a lot less like stone and a lot more like the bright green metallic trims on the rest of his armour. Part of him to the point you might not even guess it wasn't always there, if you're not specifically looking for something just slightly out of place

[oddygaul]

Russian Circles 20th Anniversary at Metro

I think I might start writing about shows here too, now and then. I’ve never kept a record of all the shows I’ve been to, and it feels weird thinking about all the road trips I did in high school to catch my favorite bands that I’m now starting to forget.

Pelican was not particularly interesting. I’ve always said a post-rock band lives or dies by its drummer, and, well, their drummer was not really bringing the heat. My favorite post-rock is about the rise and the fall, the quiet interludes and the crescendos, and few of their songs brought that feeling; even when the other instruments would move into a quieter section, the drummer was hitting as hard as he could. No dynamics on that guy.

Russian Circles was pretty killer. I haven’t seen them in probably a decade; I truly love Enter and Station, but the style they pursued on later albums strayed away from my tastes a bit, so I stopped being as motivated to travel for them. Gotta say, though, live? Even the recent tracks that weren’t my favorite on recording hit hard. The opener of 309 straight into Harper Lewis was immense. Each member of the band continues to be staggeringly talented. Dave Turncrantz, one of my biggest inspirations while learning drums, continues to have a level of dynamics that seems like it should be impossible in such a loud live setting. Getting to see Brian Cook live now that I uh.. know how bass works brought me a ton of new appreciation for his parts – the chords and texture he adds are powerful, and his tone is downright nasty, especially on tracks like Geneva. And it’s still wild how Mike Sullivan manages to get away with using a loop pedal as constantly as he does live without so much as a single hitch.

Music aside, a few things struck me.

-It was kinda fun to see both Brian and Mike just come onstage during soundcheck to set up their whole rigs and tune every guitar – pretty rare move for a band that big.

-The light show was fuckin killer - they legit had some crazy visual trickery, like light sequencing that perfectly mimicked the shadows cast by a crackling fire, and some layered fog / light patterning toward the end that defined separate volumes across the stage… and this was on top of great timing for standout moments like fills / breaks.

-For being the hometown stop on their 20th anniversary tour, it was surprising for them to not say a single word to the audience. I mean, respect, fine by me – but usually that’s the kind of show where folks open up and get a little sappy, y’know?

-...especially cause they definitely had time – there were pretty long interludes between most of their songs for tuning / prep. I didn’t mind it too much, but I typically consider one of the hallmarks of a great live band to be intentional transitions and pacing – one of the many reasons Arukara are my GOAT – and the interludes here felt a bit unintentional.

-Boy, I guess it’s just been a while since I’ve made it to a post-rock show, but the crowd is different these days. Ten years ago it was mostly awkward silence and a group of weirdos enjoying the atmosphere; here there were constant cheering and yells during every possible quiet moment, no reflection allowed.

setlist

309 Harper Lewis Conduit Mota Quartered Ethel Fathom / Geneva Betrayal Gnosis Vorel Youngblood

bonus car

[zapsoda]

authright for headcanon ask?

you didnt specify a number so im going to tell you whatever i want also all of them❤️

so hes male naturally i have mad respect for ftm authright hcers but i dont rlly see him that way 90% of the time. i have a disease that makes me hc every character as bi bisexual but hey he could be gay. not straight though i really dont see that. hes one of those mfs thats so misogynistic it loops back around to being gay as hell. like the ancient greeks

i think his fave season is winter cause he already doesnt go outside maybe...

in regards to crime he has killed people. canonically. so.

"who is x characters partner" is a funny question bc im a multi shipping kinda guy. what if hes dating all of them what then. i think he is divorced from tankiw in most universes though

man is depreessed. or maybe bipolar i feel like that is real. i also think he has really shitty lungs thats ky headcanon. just naturally its not like hes a big smoker.

um so he canonically likes cod we all know his taste in video games. ive talked abt this to people in a discord server i think hed be into weird gory fucked up movies and maybe documentaries prolly like war docs.

also i think his "love language" (i feel like a dope saying that) would be like quality.time. HANGING OUT this is so real. my reasoning: watchinf liberal cringe comps with ancap ("thats what i like about you ancsp"), ("you didnt invite me???"), wanting to play video games with his buddies (TANKIW AND ANCAP), sticking around with the other nationalists ❤️❤️❤️❤️. hes a big fuckin bitch he will never be sappy or whatever hes just hangs around people he likes.hes like a cat (NOT sorry for saying that)

[dirkspanelcollection]

Every page Eridan Ampora is in. Part 2

for your march Eridan editing needs.

+ all his (side of) pesterlogs (for fun)

From page 2458

From page 2464

Pesterlog from page 2467

CA: fef are you in

CA: that took forevver

CA: i wwas gettin wworried kinda

CA: man that guy

CA: hes a fuckin drama machine it is fuckin pathetic

CA: fuck SORRY

CA: yeah sorry

CA: i wwas just really wworried and stressed out i thought you wwere dead

CA: and i didnt evven get to thank you for savvin my life or really for anythin

CA: and i just spent all this time here wworryin and thinkin about stuff

CA: and i decided i havve something i wwant to tell you

CA: that ivve been meaning to get off my nub for a wwhile noww

CA: wwhoa really

CA: uh

CA: wwhat is it

CA: you go first

CA: yeah i knoww

CA: its ok maybe i wwill understand more than you think

CA: wwe might evven be sayin the same thing

CA: wwhoa

CA: wwait

CA: wwhat

CA: fuck

CA: this isnt what

CA: i dont knoww i wwasnt expectin this at all

CA: im not sure i can handle this

CA: no

CA: please dont

CA: look im bein serious here dont do this

CA: i wont even use my weird accent while i type ok so you know im bein really dead serious and honest about this

CA: ok good

CA: are you sure you arent bein hasty about this youve just been through a lot

CA: i mean we are supposed to be fated to be moirails arent we

CA: isnt that how it works

CA: you cant just throw all that away cause youre sick of me

CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME

CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

CA: and really none of your fuckin business QUITE FRANKLY your majesty

CA: and the only reason i put up with stickin my flipper in this fuckin shithole quadrant with you was

CA: nevermind

CA: ok fine

CA: i apologize for losin my shit over this i was just caught off guard is all

CA: but maybe its a good thing really

CA: actually i might a been proposin the same thing to be honest

CA: yeah

CA: fef have you thought about

CA: since you dont wanna be pale with me no more

CA: the possibility a some other type of arrangement with me

CA: i mean

CA: somethin a bit more

CA: kinda reddish

CA: like

CA: brighter red

CA: ok well what do you think about it

CA: now that youre thinkin about it

CA: why not i thought you said you liked me

CA: couldnt it be though

CA: dont you think theres room in your collapsin and expandin bladder based aquatic vascular system for those feelins

CA: oh god

CA: im the biggest fuckin idiot who ever lived

CA: i cant BELIEVE i just opened up to you like a chump when i knew what was comin

CA: i am one sad fuckin brinesucker

CA: overemotional sappy trash youre right im not better than anybody

CA: im worse than anybody

CA: EVERYBODY

CA: all the bodies CA: i cannot

CA: BELIEVE

CA: you are doin the fish pun thing while youre breakin up with me

CA: real nice

CA: whoops i mean REEL nice

CA: wwait

CA: dont go

From page 2467

Pesterlog from page 2475

CA: gam i need to talk to kar wwhere is he he isnt answwerin

CA: i dont feel comfortable wwith that

CA: i havve some serious feelins and problems here and i need some advvice

CA: wwhy

CA: wwhat the fuck do you mean by that

CA: are you sayin hes dead

CA: oh fuck

CA: oh god fuck noww i feel like an asshole

CA: that is the wworst fuckin advvice

CA: wwhat an awwful thing a you to say

CA: MAGIC ISNT REAL STUPID STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT

CA: this is a lot a pointless fuckin rubbish and isnt no emotional help to him or me either for that matter

CA: put kar on

CA: i dont knoww

CA: it probably doesnt matter

CA: my feelins seem petty and meaninless noww

CA: she had better things to wworry about than my ovverwwrought bullshit

CA: like the dead guy wwho savved her

CA: so forget it thanks anywway

CA: wwhat the FUCK are you fuckin babblin about

CA: are you recommendin a bevverage to me or somethin

CA: is that wwhat this is

CA: i dont havve a fuckin faygo you stupid fuck wwhy wwould i keep that disgusting shit on hand

CA: oh

CA: oh god youre right i do

CA: i totally forgot about it

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Pesterlog from page 2547

FCA: hey sorry for bustin in on the memo but i cant get ahold of you youre not answwerin

FCA: gams advvice is fuckin useless all he told me wwas to enjoy a bevverage

FCA: i mean

FCA: its not evven that bad

FCA: its just soda but wwhatevver this isnt the point

FCA: i knoww i knoww

FCA: its just

FCA: i got a problem

FCA: wwith feferi

FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin

From [S] make her pay

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Dialoguelogs from page 2792

ERIDAN: wwhat a fuckin vvulgar display this is

ERIDAN: airin out all his dirty laundry like that puttin a big fuckin pile a horns in the middle of the room

ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother lookin

------------------------------------

ERIDAN: hey ter can you go givve that four horned mustard blooded land licking sack of rubbish ovver there a message for me

ERIDAN: tell him to put his honey wwhere his mouth is and meet me outside for another duel

ERIDAN: swweet stinkin murder i am truly pathetic arent i

------------------------------------

ERIDAN: hey

ERIDAN: wwhats up

ERIDAN: yup

ERIDAN: god damn vvris wwhys it still got to be so flippin awwkwward like this come on

ERIDAN: wwe used to havve a good thing goin remember our campaigns

ERIDAN: that shit wwas epic wwhere are you evven goin to find a rivvalry like that

ERIDAN: oh as if im not so ovver it please spare me your disdain mindfang

ERIDAN: im wworkin on findin a neww rivvalry wwhichll make ours look like a kiddie game

ERIDAN: wwhich oh by the wway IT WWAS

------------------------------------

ERIDAN: fuck that fuckin wwitch bleww up my computer

ERIDAN: ok not literally the wwitch as in thats not literally her title or anythin

ERIDAN: the seer i guess

ERIDAN: fuckin lousy no good goddamn rotten seer

ERIDAN: shut yer spidertrap wwitch there are serious emotions happening ovver here

Pesterlog from page 2805

CA: wwho are you tryin to convvince wwith this ludicrous poppycock

CA: magic is NOT REAL

CA: wwhatevver youre doin its not real its somethin else outright entirely

CA: its fancy and impressivve and all but its not the fuckin figmental storybook claptrap you wwanna make out like it is

CA: so howw about you get off your high skyhorse

CA: youre not usin magic just DEAL WW IT

CA: ok i didnt say that

CA: i think you wwear the role pretty wwell wwhich is somethin i can appreciate

CA: theres a lot of showwmanship thats put in to comin off as a diabolical sort

CA: wwell fine you dont havve to behavve vvillainous if youre bent up on actin against the grain a your nobility or somesuch

CA: i can play that role its not like i evver didnt get my gils dirty before

CA: wwell arent you

CA: the wway you

CA: ok

CA: i had a misconclusion about that so my fault

CA: obvviously you got rich blood so maybe when you crash landed you wwerent recognized for it by wwhatevver vvehicle upholds the class structure in human society

CA: must of been fuckin brutal raisin up a commonblood wwhen you knew you wwere better than evverybody and its probably got you all messed up inside but maybe theres hope for you

CA: see i got a lot a experience bein nobility so ill let you knoww if you got a shot in hell at cuttin it pinkscarf

CA: fakemage pinkscarf howw does that sound

CA: see this is good i think this could be a good thing

CA: this thing wwe got goin

CA: you obvviously hate me and i think i got it in me to get the dark propensities smolderin

CA: and wwere both obvviously dangerous elites in nature

CA: i think theres somethin there i mean look at howw you evven came into the wworld

CA: killed a fuckin fuck ton of marine life accidental

CA: doin thats all i evver done practically the ocean wwas my killin cauldron

CA: hahahahaha see youre good wwith fish puns too i got so many a those you havve no idea

CA: i just think theres a fate thing here

CA: i mean i dont mean to strike you as too forwwardsuch but are you seein wwhere im goin wwith this

CA: look i understand you dont understand that kind of thing in your culture i get that

CA: but maybe i could teach you to get it

CA: yeah and in return maybe you could teach me howw to bullshit magic like that

CA: yes teach me your secrets wwitch

Pesterlog from page 2806

caligulasAquarium's [CA'S] computer exploded.

From page 2810

From page 3044

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From page 3175

Pesterlog from page 3175

CA: noww that youre done makin all that pointless rubbish

CA: ivve got somethin wway more wworth your wwhile

CA: that couldvve been anyone

CA: lets not get distracted by your sad league of suitors and their flushed desperations

CA: im offerin you the edge here

CA: in your rivvalry wwith the other female

CA: wwevve got the same abstratus

CA: and i dont need this thing anymore

CA: since i became more powwerful than you could evver imagine as a mighty wwizard of wwhite science

CA: so you might as wwell take it and settle your score wwith that awwful wwitch

CA: yeah ok the seer then if you wwant to be dealin wwith technicalities

CA: oh

CA: wwell fuck

CA: suppose i wwas guessin it wwas natural to presume somesuch relation like that betwween the twwo a you

CA: oh i see so she shared her "magic secrets" wwith you then

CA: its probably a trap i wwouldnt trust her

CA: she is a cunnin and treacherous sort trust me i knoww her type

CA: you are slingin around such a bloody mess of slander wwith these accusations

CA: you wwouldnt understand anywway

CA: its already been painfully established you people cant get your shalloww think pans under the majesty of our quadrants

CA: if you must knoww things betwween us wwere gettin pretty bellicose and im pretty sure she wwas wwaxin as obsidian for me as a human got it in em to do

CA: and if not for the interdimensional divvide keepin us apart

honestly i dont doubt our rivvalry could be brewwin outright pitch

CA: but the thing is i need a rivval wwho can pose me a challenge

CA: and frankly shes not evven fit for holdin my cape anymore

CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit

CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES

CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike

CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels

CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince

CA: so really you should be honored to inherit my old callin

CA: both my armaments and my feud

CA: itll be wwitch against wwitch

CA: a real one vvs an impostor

CA: faker one dies

CA: oh wwill you just take the fuckin gun already

CA: its a wway more powwerful wweapon than any of that crap you made

CA: its a legendary relic wwithout equal

CA: youre bein needlessly fuckin stubborn about this im doin you a fuckin favvor here

CA: if you accept it this is the last ill evver be botherin you about anythin ok

CA: FFFFFFWW

CA: thats the code

Pesterlog from page 3176

CA: howws that possible

CA: its a one of a kind wweapon plundered from an alternian ghost ship

CA: probably a cheap imitation of the original

CA: uh

CA: kind of like that one there is

CA: so theres your answwer stable loops ahoy

CA: noww enjoy the utter fuckin domination it affords

CA: wwhos that

CA: wwhy

CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson

CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing

CA: nevvermind then your procreational biologistics make my fins curl in distaste

CA: settle dowwn jade youre radically underestimatin the amount of shit i dont givve about this

CA: ill havve you knoww this is the last time im plannin on talkin to any human

CA: i got bigger ships to sink and soon wwhen im good and ready me and my luminous fuckin science stick havve got a date wwith jack noir

CA: AND NO NOT THAT KIND OF DATE GIVVE ME A LITTLE FUCKIN CREDIT

CA: wwhys this matter so hush hush anywway

CA: wwell maybe he didnt wwanna disrupt wwhatevver disgustin sequence of evvents wwas responsible for his spawwnin in the first place

CA: ok i think im startin to feel ill talkin about things makin me fathom pink wwigglers comin out a your owwn personal torso

CA: so change a fuckin subject

CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid

CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage

CA: no wwe dont knoww our direct forebears and im pretty sure any attempt to seek out or evven inquire about the supplier of your genes wwould be a fine wway to get yourself killed

CA: but wwevve got our lore and it says wwe all got indivvidual ancestors wwho contribute to most of our genes abovve and beyond wwhat the grubs slurry does

CA: oh shut up

CA: anywway a lot of us believve wwere meant to trace the footsteps of those ancestors evven though wwe can nevver knoww em

CA: and on that journey wwe can come across belongings they once had cause wwe wwere hatched to find em and finish their wwork

CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place

CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway

CA: wwhat do you mean

CA: aww man come on

CA: god damn it

CA: its like you people go out of your wway to think a howw to disrespect me

CA: fine fuck it wwhat do i care

CA: this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species

CA: and for the record

CA: evven though i said that stuff about bein fated to find my gun

CA: fate isnt real

CA: its a lot of FAKE FUCKIN HORSEFEATHERS

CA: noww go and be cleansed by the light of truth purity nonfakeness hope and abovve all SCIENCE

From page 3178

From page 3181

[S] Kanaya: enter the core

Every page Eridan Ampora is in.

for your march Eridan editing needs.

+ all his (side of) pesterlogs (for fun)

From page 2066

From page 2087

Pesterlog from page 2343

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin

CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does

CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing

CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her

CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right

CA: she made me somethin per a prior arrangement

CA: she wwill delivver it wwhen wwe meet in this game but i dont knoww wwhat the logistics are yet

CA: im tryin to connoiter wwith her here but shes blowwin me off again fickle dirtscrapin landhag

CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin

CA: ok wwell not that obvviously

CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after

CA: wwell

CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable

CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your hands

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to

CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps

CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks

CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once

CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

CA: yeah it does its important sorry but the fate of the race and purity of the bloodline is important excuse me for being concerned

CA: huh

CA: wwell ok

CA: ordinarily id call bullshit on terrible stinkin bs like that but i knoww you dont really lie about stuff

CA: unless its to yourself

CA: but thats wwhy i bother evven talking to you i wwouldnt evven be here SAYIN any of this otherwwise

CA: so did your clouds tell you that

CA: i got clouds and they dont tell me SHIT they hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities

CA: fuckin pain in the ass fuckin clouds

CA: so howw do you knoww then

CA: ok wwell you are jacked tight the fuck into this thing in so many wways i dont knoww wwhat to say anymore

CA: wwhatevver wwe wwill just play and find out i guess

CA: so can you tell her to talk to me anywway

CA: god dammit

CA: she and me are teammates wwevve got to havve a powwwwoww or SOMETHING

CA: fuck

CA: fine i get it ill step off

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it

CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly

CA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot

CA: wwhat

CA: wwhoa wwait wwho

CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today

CA: wwhat did she say

CA: or glub or wwhatevver

CA: WWWWHAT

CA: wwait

CA: did she actually say that

CA: in confidence

CA: can you copy exactly wwhat she said

CA: this is bullshit youre bee essing me in some wway awwful

CA: you dont lie but you do tease and ill tranfuse my kickass royal blood out wwith incontinent musclebeast discharge if i wwont knoww wwhen im gettin hooked

CA: awwww fuck

CA: see im tellin you

CA: you got to play your cards right CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to peopleCA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwwardCA: kan its hard

CA: being a kid and growwing up

CA: its hard and nobody understands

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Pesterlog from page 2446

CA: fef

CA: hey

CA: glub

CA: yeah

CA: hm

CA: wwhat

CA: nothins on my mind wwhy cant i just fuckin talk and glub at you for a reason i dont havve

CA: wwell fine but you dont wwant to hear it CA: uhuh wwhatevverCA: yeah wwell ok since wwe are the PALEST OF PALS A GUY COULD EVVER ASK FOR

CA: i wwill tell you

CA: evven though you wwill only humor me as usual since you dont agree wwith my agenda

CA: any of my agendas really

CA: none of the agendas

CA: none of them

CA: see

CA: more condescension

CA: you are goin to make a hell of an empress

CA: so

CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance

CA: it isnt wwrong

CA: im not going to explain it to you again

CA: at this point all you need to knoww is its important to me

CA: and im doing it for us

CA: i mean our kind

CA: nobody understands not evven you

CA: pshh

CA: hemospectrum begs to differ

CA: wwhatevver

CA: i havve to keep an eye on em up here

CA: its all about tactics

CA: history is full of cases wwhere conquerers consort wwith members of the enemy in a mannerly wway before wwipin them out CA: evven goin as far as growwin fond a some

CA: its only civvilized

CA: all your feelins are fishy

CA: GLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUBGLUB

CA: ill glub in wwhatevver dumbass bubbly soundin fishnoise i wwant to glub

CA: ok please lets just not get into the wwhole fuckin fish pun thing again ok

CA: like wwe get it wwe are nautically themed

CA: but yeah i dunno

CA: i dont knoww wwhy she ignores me i guess shes just bored wwith me

CA: wwe had it all set up for her to givve me this thing tonight that probably doesnt evven wwork but yeah maybe that wwasnt the point

CA: i mean you think wwe havve a pretty good rivvalry goin right

CA: or at least had

CA: it wwas pretty fuckin bitter and contentious for a wwhile there and there wwas some good chemistry i dont knoww wwhat happened

CA: it doesnt matter like i said shes bored shitless

CA: i guess im not as good a advversary as i thought

CA: ehhh

CA: wwell ok thanks for sayin so

CA: shrug

CA: maybe

CA: seems kinda

CA: odd though

CA: wwell those are my stupid feelins wwhat about yours

CA: seems to me like you get along too wwell wwith evverybody to be harborin any black sentiments

CA: yeah

CA: oh god

CA: uh

CA: ok fef

CA: this is NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS

CA: i gotta go

CA: be back later wwhen its time to play

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[nat-20s]

 Part 8 of the wonderful! Au: the boys answer some questions! Up to you to decide if they actually clarify anything!

(also on AO3)

~*~

Martin: Hey everyone! I know what some of you are thinking right now: it's not Tuesday, why is this episode in my feed? I know significantly more of you are thinking: I don't consistently keep up with podcast releases, how much free time do you think I have, buddy? To answer your queries: this is a bonus episode! We're answering listener questions to clear the air and/or have fun. Also, I don't know, around 20 to 40 minutes a week, as that is the average amount of time per episode? Maybe during your commute? My husband's omnipotence has been gone for five years, we just have to guess at that sort of thing now.

Jon: For legal reasons, that last statement was a joke. In fact, to cover all of our bases, we do not guarantee that any of our responses are genuine.

Martin: Just because we say we'll answer things doesn't mean we'll answer truthfully. Though, honestly, I think we might make it more enjoyable if we do tell the truth. Like, I don't necessarily have a fun lie prepared for our first question from konspiracyking97: "What's their fuckin deal anyway?"

Jon: Is this referring to the oblique references  we've made about being from a parallel reality and only ending up here as a consequence of ending one apocalypse and potentially starting another or the general premise of the show?

Martin: Oh, it's gotta be general premise, yeah?

Jon: In that case, I'm Jon, the other voice you're hearing is Martin, we're married, and we talk about things that are..nice? Good? Usually generally but occasionally rather specifically pleasant.

Martin: That pretty much covers it. It's not a complicated show. Uhh, next question comes from Shane: are either or both of you aliens? Nope!

Jon: Well..

Martin: No. We are 100% human people from Earth, we are under no definition extraterrestrial.

Jon: Eh..

Martin: Okay, first off, I know the tone of that 'eh' and "not fully human" is not synonymous with alien, so even if 100% is being a bit generous, we're still from the same planet as our listeners.

Jon:..

Jon: But. We sort of aren't though. Technically speaking.

Martin: No no no no no. I don't care if it's parallel, Earth is Earth is Earth, regardless of whatever nonsense metaphysics might be occurring.

Jon: So what you're saying is that if you got sucked through a portal and landed on an Earth where dinosaurs were still the predominant species, you wouldn't consider yourself to be an alien?

Martin: Nope!

Jon: I'm certain that they would consider you an alien. All of their mammals are probably shrew sized.

Martin: Sounds like a them problem.

Jon: Sounds like a-?! You know what, no, this will be an off the record debate, for now, I suppose I concede that the two Earths and our physiologies are similar enough that we might, maybe, not count as aliens.

Martin: Thank you. Anyway, our next question is from anonymous, and asks, "Is all of this an ARG?"

Jon: A whomst?

Martin: Alternate reality game. It's a method of storytelling that's interactive with audience, and usually has, I dunno, a certain suspension of disbelief to it where it pretends to be something actually happening in the real world until a dramatic reveal. A lot times it was used as a marketing gimmick, but others have done it just for fun. I can show you some examples after the show?

Jon: So it's in essence a more involved creepypasta?

Martin, delighted: Aw, babe, I'm never going to have a handle on what pop culture you are and aren't aware of, huh?

Jon: We were born within a year of each other, and I've told you that I was a deeply morbid teenager, you should probably be able to intuit some of things, love.

Martin: This coming from a man who has yet to see "It's a Wonderful Life", but has seen every film in the "Banjo Cannibals" franchise, including the Easter special. Jesus doesn't exist in the Banjo Cannibals universe, why does it have an Easter special?

Jon: The movies are rather shoddily translated from Russian, so I'm fairly certain the Easter component of that special was invented wholesale in the English version.

Martin: You say that like it answers more questions than it raises.

Jon: Yes, because it does. Oh, and to answer anonymous's question, no, this isn't an ARG. From my understanding of it, if it were, it'd be a poorly constructed one, as there's no real game element to any of this.

Martin: Hmm. Well, sometimes the game component is just trying to figure out what's going on with the story, or if there's any deeper content, and people are definitely doing that with this show.

Jon: That's not by design though. It's more a side effect of us having poor brain to mouth filters, I'd say.

Martin: Harsh, but fair. Oh, this next one is from Zac, no K, who asks, "Are you two actually even married?"

Jon, flat: We are, but it's under false names because this whole thing is an elaborate insurance scam.

Jon, incredulous: Yes, obviously, we're married. What did you hear in this podcast that would make you wonder otherwise, and how do we rectify it?

Martin: Clearly we need to up our quota for how "disgustingly in love" and "horrifically sappy" we are per episode. Which segues nicely into the next question from Gwen, "What's your favourite wonderful thing you've brought so far?" My answer: my husband. He's kind of my favourite in most things, you know?

Jon: Boooooo

Martin: Why, what's your favourite thing?

[Jon reluctantly sighs]

Jon, indulgent: being married.

Martin: A: serves you right for trying to pretend you're the less horrifically sappy and romantic one even though earlier today someone put a love note in the lunch they packed for me-

Jon:- Lies and slander! I have never, in my life, done that, even once.

Martin: Oh, sure, not even once. And you definitely don't reserve the lilac sticky notes specifically for my lunches because you know I like the colour. 

Jon: I..I don't.. you're rather ruining my image here.

[Martin snorts]

Martin: Can't have the audience think that you are, on occasion, an incredibly doting husband-

Jon: -A title I would argue we both share-

Martin: - which is obviously why, even with it being your favourite thing you've brought, being married to me is just a small wonder-

Jon, audibly rolling his eyes: As I already explained-

[A Pause}

Jon: Actually, you're right-

Martin: Wait-

Jon:- I really should have brought it as a larger wonder-

Martin: Wait-

Jon: though I should warn you, I think I'd have far too much material for just one little segment-

Martin: No no no no no-

Jon:- In fact, I think I might have too much material for just one little episode-

Martin: Joo-oon-

Jon: I might have to do a whole series! Where would I even start? I mean I could talk about how every day I get to watch the early morning sun highlight your curls when I get up first, or hear you quietly humming and shuffling around the kitchen when you do, or I could talk about how the lunch notes only started in the first place as retaliation to the notes you would leave on the mirror for me to find, or how every time I get to see you at ease in a way that you aren't with anyone else, it takes my breath away, or I could talk about how cute I find the lines between your eyebrows that you only get when you're thinking something petty, but you know it's petty so you don't want to say anything-

Martin: Okay, okay, Christ, I give !up I surrender, and will cease my teasing on this particular topic.

Jon, probably making the :3 face: You don't have to stop. I mean, I could also discuss how very, very attractive I find your voice when it takes on a teasi-mmph!

[There's a pleased hum, then a pause.]

[The audio quality is slightly changed, as if the recording has been stopped and then started later]

Martin, giddy: Uh, heh, anyway, Eric asked what the least favourite thing we've brought was, and because of Jon's attempt to embarrass me live-

Jon, overlapping: It's definitely not live-

Martin:- on air, I'm gonna say it's my husband.

[Jon scoffs]

Jon : If the past few minutes are any sort of indication, I'm going to go ahead and saying that you are lying.

Martin, sighing contentedly: Maybe a bit, but how was I supposed to resist when your indigance gives you that adorable little nose scrunch? In reality, my least favourite thing was probably, um, mini golf? Which, I still don't think is inherently bad, definitely superior to regular golf, but when it's the only thing a next door two year old wants to do with you, the charm begins to wear off a bit.

Jon: Wow. A rather scathing review of a toddler.

Martin: Not so much a scathing review of a toddler as it's a scathing review of minigolf's inability to keep its appeal after the third time in the same week.

Jon: Mmm, the sound effects rather quickly go from part of the atmosphere to part of the irritation, don't they?

Martin: So what's your least favorite thing we've covered here?

Jon: Oh, love, I'm not going to pretend to have nearly enough memory of what we've covered so far to have a least favorite.

Martin: Really? Nothing that you regret or rescind?

Jon: Well, regret, certainly. It was one of the weeks where you went first, and your second item was mutual aid funds, and what they can do for marginalized communities, and I had to follow it with fucking Slapchop.

Martin, poorly suppressing laughter: In your defence, Slapchop, or whatever offbrand we have, is pretty useful, especially when either your scar or my arthritis is acting up.

Jon: I'm still not convinced you didn't somehow see my notes for the recording and decided you get revenge for the first year that we knew each other.

Martin, no longer suppressing his laughter: Yep, you got me! This marriage wasn't an act of insurance fraud, but it was a near decade long con to humiliate you on a podcast that about twenty people listen to. I'll draft up the divorce papers immediately, and then we can finally go our separate ways. 

Jon: I'm glad you've at last admitted it. Such a weight off of my shoulders. Goodbye forever then.

Martin: Right.

Jon: Right.

[A beat.]

[There's a pfft from one of them, before both dissolve into giggles that lasts a good 30 seconds.]

Martin, slightly out of breath: I can't believe we're the kind of people that talk this much about speciality kitchen gadgets.

Jon: Sorry about that.

Martin: God, don't apologize. I'm, like, deliriously happy with our varying degrees of useful cooking ware filled life. If you had told 25 year old me that one day he'd be debating the merits of getting a tortilla press with his husband, he'd have wept, I tell you.

Jon: Funny, if you told 25 year old me the same thing, he would've said "You don't know the future,piss off" and then quietly have a bit of a panic at 3 am that night.

Martin: I bet you were insufferable in your mid-twenties.

Jon: First of all, who isn't, secondly, I was fresh out of Oxford, and third, I was insufferable in my late twenties, as you can attest to, and I'm insufferable now, as you can further attest to, so extrapolation would indicate that, yes, I was insufferable back then.

Martin: Probably a different kind of insufferable, though.

Jon: There are different kinds?

Martin: Of course! You used to be "prick boss" insufferable and now you're "smug in a way that I can't admit I find hot or it will go straight to your head" insufferable.

Jon, in the aforementioned smug tone: Oh, really?

Martin: See, see! Straight to your head.

Jon: Well straight is probably the wrong descriptor-

Martin: Oof, 4 out of 10 joke, babe.

Jon: That would be a far more convincing rating if you weren't grinning right now.

Martin: It's a genuine review, I'm just well known to be a sucker.

Jon: You and me both, darling.

Martin: Okay, if you're pulling out darling, you're clearly in too giddy of a mood to be focused on recording. Last question, from Jess, "You two mentioned meeting at work, but how did you actually end up together?" That's easy, Jon pulled me out of a hell dimension and then we went on the lam together to Scotland.

Jon: If that's not the way to tell a cute boy you like him, I don't know what is.

Martin: All right, that wraps up this bonus episode, and as the old saying goes, hiding from murderers in a cottage is more conducive to romance than suggesting you gouge out your eyes together.

Jon, cut off: Hey-!

[angelsaxis]

i get annoyed when i see people complain that "all the gay media" now is sanitized and pretty and problem-free. ik there's huge amounts of like censorship in fuckin. marvel movies or whatever but im talking about actual gay media, not easily cut scenes or side characters. for several reasons, I hate the "i want messy gays who suck and fuck everywhere!" cause so far 99% of all these writer rooms are filled with cishet people anyways so is that something yall should be asking for now. also the state of wlw content being all soft and pretty and sexless is absolutely overblown, i hardly see a lesbian just exist in a TV show aimed at adults, im pretty sure its bias from most wlw content being from fucking kids cartoons and not shows in our age group (in which case its not really "sanitized" its just age appropriate lmao).

also like you know what happens when I watch some shows that have gay characters? fetishization and stereotyping. the "messy gays" just becomes unhappy horny gay men written almost entirely by straight people. which yall hate anyways. and which we're getting too much of as it is. same with wlw content. cheating, indecisiveness, shallow personalities, all that.

i get the sense that this may be speaking past/semantics because perhaps yall want messiness that isn't attached to their sexuality (in which cause why not just say that lmao) but like i have yet to see two happy Black lesbians at the center of a TV show. i havent seen that. im waiting and ill honestly probably make it myself, but I RARELY ever see Black gays in a non homophobic environment in the few pieces of media they do show up in. where's my sappy black lesbian romance. where's my cute and corny high school romantic comedy. white gays got all this and more. they have the full spectrum of bland and three dimensional and messy and sanitzed gay rep. like can I have my piece before yall start trying to change the whole meal goddamn

[angrylizardjacket]

fit by my side {Machine Gun Kelly}

@bitchylittleredhead said: Okay I hear your MGK x pastel!reader and I raise you MGK x Mother Nature!reader. Hella plants, strong love for animals, heckin soft, v kind, mom friend, sunshine child. (I just really really love soft paired with him, it’s so damn cute) also I love you I hope you are well 🧡 

Also This Concept

A/N: 3177 words. Gender Neutral Reader (they/them) ! im worried kells is OOC. also there’s no smut but it does get M rated, but there’s no genitals specified. gets quite sappy at times. also @url-under-construction i hope u like it and i hope its good.

----

When you meet Colson, he’s famous, but he’s not, you know, famous famous. You meet on the set of The Dirt; he’s one of the stars, you’re a production assistant and stand-in when they need it, and you don’t think for a second that he’ll even remember your name when this is all over. 

But he does; in rehearsals, you’re the one reading the lines for the characters they haven’t cast yet, and the first time the four main cast members see you, in your floaty, floral top, and your gentle aura, and then to hear you say, with absolute sincerity, ‘your mom’s a cunt’, it has them bursting out laughing. You smile, sweet and kind, and you step gently through the blocking that has the character you’re currently standing in for, stabbing Tommy - Colson - with a pen. 

Maybe the juxtaposition of you taking part in this whole production is what intrigues him.

When filming starts, you’re still around, and something about seeing you, amid this performance of debauchery, and yet you’re still sincere and gentle, your choice of attire making you stick out like a sore thumb amid the leather and grime. At first, he tries to play it off, that you look somewhat out of place and it’s eye-catching, but you bring the cast food and water and whatever they need, you go on coffee runs, and take a genuine interest in each of them, and by the time he realises that his mood lifts every time he walks on set and sees you there, he knows he can’t play it off as you catching his eye for completely platonic reasons.

He asks you out the week after Casie leaves from visiting set, having seen you interact with her, entertain her while Colson was in hair, treating her with just as much kindness and respect as you did everyone else on the production. It convinces him that your intentions are true, and he knows that he can’t finish this production without shooting his shot.

By the time the wrap party comes around, you’re calling him your boyfriend, at first tentative, looking to him for confirmation, but then you see the way he beams at how the words sound when you say them, and you grow more confident each time you say it.

It’s met with... confusion.

Really? 

It seems no-one saw that coming - if anyone, I would have expected Douglas - you hear, and frown. 

“What does that mean?” You ask; a frown is rare to see on your face, but you’re wearing it anyhow, and the woman your speaking to splutters her way around a sentence as she’s trying to backpeddle.

“I just- I mean, well, Kells - Colson - he’s so... Doulgas just seems more... refined? Not that Colson not, you know- you’re just -”

“I’m just what?” You ask, not accusing, more curious than anything else, and the woman’s voice dies in her throat as she looks you over; pale blue jeans and a pastel, patterned button-down that would have looked right at home in the eighties. 

“I’m just concerned for you,” she eventually says, laying her hand on yours like she’s trying to do you a favour, “Colson’s intense, I’m just worried you’ll get hurt.” You see what she’s trying to say, but her tone is so painfully condescending. 

“I’m an adult,” you tell her, tone understanding but firm, “and I appreciate your concern, but I promise I can take care of myself.”

The moment you can get out of the conversation, you find Colson, talking animatedly to one of the makeup artists, and you slot yourself into the space by his side. Automatically, without even stopping the conversation, he wraps his arm around you and pulls you close, and you gratefully take the moment to press your face against him, wrapping your arms around him without saying a word. It’s both strangely intimate and familiar, his thumb rubbing small circles against your side.

As he stops talking, there’s a lull, and you don’t have to look up to know the makeup artist is giving you both a strange look.

“Ignore me,” your voice is muffled against him, using one hand as if to waive off any last bits of hesitation. 

“They’re fine,” Colson assured, tapping you on the hip. He’s still oozing casual confidence

You’ve been together for almost half of filming, which isn’t exactly a short amount of time, but usually you try and keep things professional on set, so it’s nice to be able to be close to him in public. 

The rest of the cast know, of course, you’ve been out with them on several occasions, and they all have come to adore you just as much as you adore them. Something about hearing Daniel drunkenly assure you that if Colson ever hurts you, that there’d be a line of people ready to slap some sense into him. You try to brush him off, endeared by his drunken affection, but he turns suddenly to the rest of the cast.

“Hey, hey, hey - who’d throw down for Y/N?” He asks; without hesitation, Douglas, Iwan, and Colson raise their hands, eyes wide and alert, as if the offer needed to be acted upon immediately. The show of support has your heart swelling in your chest.

You find yourself fitting into his life back in LA easily; while beginning work as an assistant on a Netflix original series, you call into his house in the Hollywood Hills, delighted to be privy to demos and snippets from his next album. 

And you meet his friends, shake their hands and smile and chatter with them. They’re not sure what to make of you at first, no-one really is when you present yourself in conjunction with Colson, but soon they start to see what he sees in you. It’s endearingly genuine and thoughtful and honest and enthusiastic and -

“They’re like sunshine,” it’s Rook’s Instagram live, almost six months into your relationship with Colson, that really cements it to the public. Rook is smoking in Colson’s living room in the middle of the afternoon between recording sessions, and someone asked what your deal was. 

“I’m so sick of - and I know Kells is, and Y/N too, not that they’d ever say anything. ‘ve never heard them say a bad word ‘bout anyone, you know,” Rook hits the blunt again, his face scrunching up, “but everyone ‘round here’s so fuckin’ sick of people talkin’ shit ‘bout ‘em. For real, Y/N is sunshine, nicer than all of you motherfuckers put together,” and he laughs, but it’s clear he isn’t entirely joking, “- you know what?” He asked, eyes lighting up and standing abruptly, grabbing the phone.

“Baze, man, you seen Y/N?” He calls, and Baze responds from somewhere off-camera that you’re outside. The comments are going off, but he pays them no mind, heading out to the backyard, only to see you by the back fence, peering over into the trees, on your tip toes, one hand straining over the fence, in shorts and a singlet in sunshine yellow.

Rook calls your name.

You shush him loudly, and then, without looking at him, slowly wave him over.

As he approaches, he can hear the telltale sound of a bird chirping, and as soon as he gets close, he hears you whisper -

“I think they’re bluebirds,” you murmur, and finally look back at him, lowering yourself, surprised to see his phone held aloft. He tells you he’s live streaming, you wave awkwardly, which is when he sees the slice of banana you’re holding, “I’m not sure what they eat; do bluebirds eat banana?” You ask, a little helpless, looking at Rook, and then to his phone. 

After a moment, you step aside, and gesture for Rook to take a look over the fence, and sure enough there’s a nest with a single, rather sad looking bluebird with it’s wing bent at a strange angle, calling out pathetically, obscuring a few eggs, just out of arm’s reach. While he’s looking over the fence, also trying to reach them, and also trying to get the phone close enough to see if anyone watching the livestream could identify the bird or offer any suggestion, he hears your footsteps retreating.

“Stay there, I’m going to get Kells,” you call out to him, voice bright, “he’s got long arms!” And Rook bursts out laughing; you weren’t wrong. 

While waiting, he sits against the fence and answers a few more questions, until he looks up and sees you, expression concerned, and Colson uncharacteristically fond as he lets you lead him by the hand.

You show him the nest and ask for him to get it, worried the bird was hurt, and he obligingly reaches over the back fence to gently collect the bird nest, trying his best not to jostle the bird. The bird’s wing appeared to be broken, and Rook ends the live when you mention that you’re going to take the bird to the vet.

Already, the fandom is exploding from what had transpired. 

People are making suggestions as to what the birds should be named, people are claiming your caring and sweet personality is completely fake, people in the live managed to screenshot Colson’s expression as you’d lead him to the birds, how smitten he was with his hand in yours, and have started posting ‘get u a man who looks at u like kells looks at y/n’ all over twitter and tumblr.

“Bird update!” Several hours later, Colson posts a series of videos to his instagram story, “for those of y’all who don’t know, Y/N found a bird with a broken wing in a tree out the back of my place, we rescued it and it’s eggs, and took it to the vet,” and with that he flips the camera around, from a close up on his face, to show a large, cardboard box in the corner of the room. 

Peep Davidson was written in large, black letters on the side of the box.

The rest of the videos are outlining what the vet had told you all, and that the bird should only take about seven days to heal before you could put them all back into the wilderness. 

At that, he pauses.

“You worried about putting the birds back when you saw that cat the other day?” And he angles the camera to reveal you, laying with your head in his lap.

“The orange one?” You ask, voice heavy, as if he’d disturbed you when you’d been right about to fall asleep. You yawn, and he confirms, you give a little, lazy shrug and smile, “not sure where that cat is.”

“Fuckin’ hell, babe,” Colson laughs, “you gotta stop finding random animals in my backyard.”

“They find me,” you counter, and shift so you can press your face against his belly, humming contentedly as his free hand begins stroking your back. 

“Snow White-Cinderella-Pied Piper motherfucker,” how that is somehow the softest, most gentle words to ever leave his lips, is utterly baffling, but there’s so much love and adoration but you turn enough for the camera to catch your delighted little smile, “you’re-” he starts, “who’s that dude from that, that My Hero shit we were watching the other night?”

“Koji Koda, you weeb,” you tease him fondly, knowing exactly who he’s referring to, and that’s where the video ends.

That’s the day it’s confirmed for the rest of the world. There’s countless paparazzi photos, and hints, and speculation, but this is the first time he’d called you anything but your name, and they’d all seen you snuggling up to him, your head in his lap.

This also is the day the trend begins on his Instagram story of a photo of you, usually in his backyard, with whatever animal had decided to befriend you that day.

My partner. My backyard. No fucking idea who’s animal that is.

And he still goes out and gets fucked up, and sometimes you’re there, and sometimes you’re not. When you’re out together, it still doesn’t quite make sense; he’s hard partying and over the top, and it seems like it wouldn’t be your scene at all.

But then there’s photos of Colson and a few of his friends standing on the edge of a roof, announcing that they’re Kings, and you’re by his side, smiling and waving at the person taking the photograph. He manages to get himself injured pulling a stunt at a friend’s house party, but you’re in the back of some influencer’s vlog, straddling his lap with tissues in your hand, him holding you secure as you clean up the scrape on his forehead; it’s kind of sickening how in love he looks, as he watches the way you concentrate. When you notice his expression, your own softens, and you lean in to give him a kiss. 

And so you start to make sense, but people still ask why.

So when asked, you tell people that you support each other, and challenge each other, and yeah, that’s absolutely why you’re together, but it’s not the whole reason as to why you make sense.

Because no-one sees the way you hook your finger into his belt loop at the back of his pants at the house party, and you press a kiss between his shoulder blades, and he knows exactly what that means. He’s quick to make some flimsy excuse to leave as you step into place by his side, which everyone he’s speaking to immediately sees through. You play at being flustered, tucking your embarrassed expression against him as he slings his arm around your shoulders, and calls an Uber.

The drive back to his place has you both on edge with anticipation, his hands all over you in the back of the car while you try to hold a civil conversation with the driver. It’s killing you not to give in, but you know it’s worth it. 

“You’re such an idiot!” You announced, grinning from ear to ear the moment you get into the house, before the door’s even closed, and he slams it shut to press you against it. Kissing him feels like a cathartic release, but after a moment you shove him back, loudly admonishing him for taking part of a stunt that got him hurt.

“You could have been seriously hurt!” You keep poking him in the chest to punctuate your words, and he steps back each time, expression alight, pupils blown wide. He keeps reaching out, as if to touch you, to snag your clothes, like it’s a game when you smack his hand back every time. 

“Got a gnarly cut though,” he pointed out, as his ass hits the kitchen island. His legs open, making space for you, and you step into it.

“Gnarly cut,” you murmur, tone surprisingly derisive, and you reach up to push his hair back from his forehead. His head tips back, leaning into your touch, the look on his face almost dreamy even as you’ve got a hand on his hips, pushing him back on the counter. 

Then you’re in his lap on the counter, hand fisted in his hair, lips on his neck, leaving bruises and bite marks. He’s trying to get you naked, efficient and desperate, but the moment he gets your shirt off, you push the fruit bowl behind him onto the floor, and push him back against the granite countertop. 

“You were worried about me,” he smirks up at you, admiring you with your hands planted either side of his head. 

“Because you don’t worry about your damn self!”

“Ooh, breaking out damn tonight? Must be serious,” he teased, deliberately riling you up; he loved this side of you just as much as the sweetness. Instead of responding, you reach up under his shirt and rake your nails harshly down his chest and stomach, delighting in the way he arched up at the sudden sensation, eyes falling closed. 

With one hand still flat against his belly, the other comes up to cup his jaw, gentle at first, before your fingers move to caress his throat, and you press yourself against him. 

“If you get yourself killed, I’ll kick your ass,” you whisper, lips inches from his as you press firmer against his throat. He grins, and sighs, the sound content and syrupy and so fucking into it, leaning up, to meet your lips with his, to feel the pressure on his neck just a little more.

And you bite, and you scratch, and you ride him on the kitchen island. The location is new, but the situation isn’t; once he’d discovered the righteous, sexual fury you’d been bottling up, he’d been more than happy to let you unleash it on him. Not to say that he didn’t give as good as he got; there’s been several times he’s had you swearing a blue streak, seeing stars, desperate and blissed out in equal measure.

But then there’s your dominant moments, the mean streak, and the teasing, the sting of your nails and your teeth and the way you push him around, into the mattress, against the wall without hesitation, and that he covets. No-one else is allowed to see you like that. To be tied up or blindfolded or or punished or pushed around, at your mercy, it’s as close to Heaven as he’s ever felt on Earth, because he knows without a shadow of a doubt that your heart is kind, that you’d never really hurt him in a way he wouldn’t like.

You make him feel safe.

And it’s not just the sex, you’re never dismissive of ideas or suggestions, seemingly always ready to help if he ever needs it, rather than judgmental. It makes him want to be there for you too. 

He wants to be better for you.

Which is kind of terrifying to consider.

“I love you,” he tells you in the shower, in the afterglow, soft, pausing where he had been washing your back where you couldn’t reach. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it, but he felt like he needed you to hear them.

“Love you too,” you say around a yawn, though the words are as genuine as they’d always been coming from you, and you lean back against him, leaning your head against his cheek in a moment of quiet intimacy. You try to kiss him like this, but turns your face directly into the shower, and end up spluttering and breaking the moment.

Colson chuckles softly, stepping back and pulling you with him, out of the stream of water and into his arms so he could kiss you properly. You’re still giggling as you’re wiping the water from your eyes, looking at him with fond adoration. When you settle your arms around him, you quiet down and bask in the moment, his forehead coming to rest against yours, warm and safe in his embrace, sensing that, in that moment, he felt the exact same way.

[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 16

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to mentions of sex. Some drinking & swearing.

(My GIF)

So... after your heart-rate slowed back down to normal, you realised that, no matter how much you possibly empathised about Billy dropping her, there was no way you were going to sit back and let Madani keep coming after your man. She’d have a fight on her hands, that you could promise her.

You were trying to concentrate on your paperwork, you really were. But your mind kept circling back to Madani. Coming to a decision, you stood up and grabbed your things. Making your way downstairs, you walked through the café, stopping to let your team know that you’d be out for a while.

Getting on the subway, you made your way to Homeland HQ and asked the receptionist if you could speak to Agent Madani, specifying that you’d meet her there in Reception. You weren’t going to meet her in private, that was for damn sure. The receptionist made a call, then asked you to take a seat.

After a fifteen-minute wait, Madani and her heels came clicking their way over to you. Her eyebrows were presently in a permanently raised position. Standing up, you nodded to her and forced yourself to say civilly, “Good morning, Agent Madani.”

She nodded back at you, lips pursed. “You realise that approaching me while you have an active complaint against me is not correct procedure.”

Shrugging, you replied, “About as correct as you approaching Billy and asking him to meet you.” She flinched back, and you realised she didn’t think he would’ve told you. You carried on, “Agent Madani, this has got to stop. I feel you’re just going to keep on contacting him regardless, and you’re just going to keep getting rejected.” She opened her mouth to reply, but you held up your hand, “Hear me out, please. Look, I get it, I really do - you thought you might have something going for you with Billy. Then you find out he’s met someone else and he drops you. And I’m sorry about that. I wouldn’t be happy about that if it happened to me.”

She glanced round quickly to check there was no-one within earshot, before glaring back at you, but you carried on nevertheless, “I know you don’t believe this, but Billy and I do have a relationship, a real relationship - and yes, it’s all happened very quickly but sometimes that’s just how things do happen.” Folding her arms across herself, she huffed and said, “You’re right I don’t believe it. Billy Russo is the biggest damn player in New York City and if you think you’ve tied him down, you’re more of a fool than I thought. A damn naive, stupid, oblivious little fool.”

You nodded, “Uhuh... well, I thought a woman-to-woman talk about it might help, but I guess it’s obvious where you stand, and you’re not budging.” You started moving away, “Well, if I’m a fool then fine! - I’m a fool. That’ll be my problem to sort out. Bye, Agent Madani.” Turning, you made your way out of the building without a backward glance.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was slowly swinging from one side to the other in his chair. His head was lying back against the headrest and his eyes gazed up at the ceiling. He was daydreaming about his girl, something he found himself doing more and more often these days. Thinking back to his visit to her office that morning, a slight smile curved over his lips. He loved it when she initiated sex. Not only did it give a big boost to his male ego - that he couldn’t deny - but it made him go all soft inside. To him, it meant that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, meant it wasn’t him starting things all the time. That’s what he was used to, after all. He’d always been the one in control.

He chuckled to himself, what in the fuck was happening to him? He was turning into a big gooey mess of a man. Shaking his head, he stood up and wandered over to the glass wall, looking down onto the training area below. He’d better get a grip of himself or one of the newbies would get one over on him, and he couldn’t have that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You made it back to Chelsea shortly after your unproductive meeting with Madani. Slamming your office door behind you and flouncing over to your desk, you plopped down into your chair, dropping your bag down beside you.

That obtuse bloody woman!!! And she called you a fool! Pot and kettle, love, you thought, pot and bloody kettle. Now you were going to have to admit to Billy that you’d also met up with her, and all for nothing - a complete and utter waste of time. Oh well, at least you’d tried. Not your fault she couldn’t see the wood for the trees.

But if she chased after Billy just once more, you wouldn’t be responsible for your actions - Homeland agent or not.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Madani was quietly stewing back in her office. How dare she try to do the sister act thing, ‘I get it, I really do’ .....just who does she think she is?! Miss Bloody Perfect.

She would just bide her time. There was no way on god’s green earth that Billy Russo would stay faithful to her, it just wasn’t happening.

He’d damn well admitted he’d been attracted to her. That was enough for her, to grasp onto that small sliver of hope and hold onto it tight.

And when he did fall off the Faithful Wagon, she’d make sure she was there to see it. And to catch him as he fell.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After texting Billy to say you quite fancied a Vietnamese takeaway this evening, you went down into the café a little later on and had a long chat with Jake, catching him up on the Scorned Woman Situation. He started making you a macchiato, commenting, “She just really doesn’t get it, does she?” You leant closer to him, saying in a low voice, “The thing is, she’s succeeded in planting a seed of doubt in my head.” “What... about Billy?” You nodded, looking down. “He did have quite the reputation before he met me you know, Jake.”

He nodded, “You said. Are you thinking a leopard can’t change its spots?” You sighed, taking the small cup and saucer from him, “Well, yeah. She keeps saying he won’t stay faithful to me, hell - she even said it to his face! And... it is making me worry, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. Everything’s fine now, but what if he gets bored? Sees a pretty face out and about somewhere, feels what he says he feels about me for them?”

Jake shrugged, “But that’s the test any relationship faces. You can’t play it out on ‘maybes’ and ‘what ifs’. Just gotta go with ‘the here and now’. Don’t you?” Nodding, you sipped your coffee before laughing, “What you say is true, oh Yoda.” He laughed, “I am wise beyond my years, little one!” You heard the café door opening behind you, and Jake chuckled, “And talk of the devil...!” Turning your head, you saw Billy homing in on you, big smile on his face and eyes glued to you. Jake whispered, “That looks like a pretty faithful doggy to me!”

You subtly elbowed him, before fully turning to Billy and smiling back. “Hello, handsome,” you greeted him, and you were surprised to see Billy’s face go a slight shade of pink. “Hi, beautiful,” he said back, before leaning down and kissing you shyly. His hand slid down your side and took hold of your fingers, lacing his with yours, eyes gazing into yours. Okay, you thought, I know I’ve been ribbing him about being a big sap but this is a whole new level of sappiness.

You drained the last of your coffee, and said to Jake, “I’m taking off now, Jakey boy, you OK to close up?” He mock-bowed, “But of course, my Princess.” You caught an irritated look on Billy’s face and smiled to yourself, he really was a jealous ass. With or without good reason.

You nipped back upstairs to get your things and when you came back down, you saw Jake and Billy almost facing off against each other, eyes glaring. What the....? You walked quickly over to them, “Hey, guys?” They broke eye contact, Jake looking embarrassed as he met your eyes, “Uhh... have a nice evening.” You swung round to Billy, who was studying his shoes with great interest. “Okay, Jake - thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Billy’s head came up, “No! She won’t be in tomorrow.”

“What? Now, Billy, you know I’m always in the cafés on Saturday mornings,” you said with a hint of warning in your voice. He looked back at Jake, “I’ve got plans for tomorrow. You can cope, can’t you?” Jake bristled, “Of course I can!” Billy looked back at you, “See? All under control. Just for once, have a Saturday off, please sweetheart.” You looked at Jake, who just smiled at you, so you nodded, “OK, just this once, Russo.” Billy smirked in triumph and took your hand, pulling you along with him towards the door as you waved at Jake.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy almost dragged his girl out of the café, before that bastard Jake could say anything else. Who did that cheeky little shit think he was, trying to give him the “don’t hurt her or you’ll answer to me for it” speech! Her fuckin’ father or something?!

He was seething, but trying to hide it. Once they were both in the car and pulling out into the traffic, she turned slightly towards him, and he could feel her eyes boring into him, “Okay, Russo - spill.”

Sighing, he looked in his rear view mirror as he changed lanes and replied, “Your little pal back there started coming on like your Dad or big brother or sumthin’. Givin’ me the whole “if you mess her around I’ll come after you” spiel.”

Oh Jake, you thought, you numbskull. He meant well but.... obviously Billy hadn’t been impressed. You heaved a sigh and Billy glanced over at you, before making a right turn and swinging the car into his building’s underground parking lot.

“Look, that was my fault,” you said, as he parked up in his space and turned off the engine. He glanced over at you, “What d’ya mean, angel?” he asked as he unbuckled his seat belt, before opening his door and walking round to open yours. “Well... uhh, I went to see Madani this morning.” He was in the process of taking your hand as you got out of the car, but stopped and looked at you, mouth open. “You did what?” You slammed the car door. “Billy! I’m sick of her chasing after you!” He raised the remote and bleeped the car locked.

“Angel, you gotta be careful with her, she’s looking for ammo to fire back at us!” You nodded, “I know that. I met her in Reception so it was in public. I thought I’d try the woman-to-woman chat.” He took your hand in his as you both started walking to the lift doors. “Did it work?” he asked. “No it didn’t! She’s the most obtuse, stubborn woman I’ve come across in a long time.” “Uh-huh, that she definitely is. Tell me what you said to her?” The lift arrived and the doors opened, you and Billy walking into it. “Well, I told her that I got it. She thought she was gonna get somewhere with you, and you dropped her. I said I wouldn’t have been happy either. But that it had to stop, as she was just going to keep getting rejected.”

Billy chuckled, “Oh my, that must’ve gone down well.” You laughed, “She doesn’t believe we have an actual relationship, she said you were the biggest player in NYC and you’d never stay faithful to me. I get the feeling she’s gonna hang around just willing it to happen.” Billy tightened his grip on your hand, stroking your hair with his other hand, then your cheek. Before he could speak, you jumped in with, “And I might’ve admitted to Jake that she’d managed to plant that seed of doubt in my mind.” He closed his eyes, putting his head back against the lift wall. “Angel, please don’t be listenin’ to her bullshit!”

The lift doors opened, and you both began walking along to his apartment door. He suddenly stopped, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you hard. He pulled back, his dark eyes looking pained as he gazed at you, “You know she’s just tryin’ to stir things up between us, don’t you? That’s what she wants, for you to question me and my behaviour, to be suspicious of me, for us to argue.” He kissed you again, before burying his face in your hair, “Well, I ain’t gonna let that happen, sweetheart,” you heard, “....she ain’t gonna come between us. I will be faithful to you, I promise. Don’t want anyone else.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After a very tasty and spicy Vietnamese meal which Billy had ordered in, you both lazed on the sofa nursing your beers. He was looking at you anxiously every so often, and eventually he burst out, “I swear to you on all that’s holy, I’ll keep it in my pants!” He was gazing at you, eyes wide and deep and dark and full of fear. Yes, fear. You reached over and laid your hand along his bristly cheek, “It’s okay, Billy! I believe you, poppet.” The smirk was back, “Uh, not with the poppet thing again!”

You laughed, “Yes! You’re my big sexy poppet.” Eyebrow wiggle, “Well, when you put it like that,” and your hand was lifted up and then placed under his sweatshirt, onto his lower abdomen, where you could stroke the treasure trail of hairs leading ever downwards to his ‘crown jewels’. “Mmmm,” he smiled, eyes closing, “....you gonna keep going, sweetheart?” You didn’t bother replying, just slid your hand further down and under the waistband of his briefs. You still marvelled at how big and hard Billy got, and you very happily took hold of what was clearly marked as ‘your property’ as far as you were concerned.

You relished the feel of his velvety skin and gave him a couple of very firm strokes, before cupping his balls in the palm of your other hand and squeezing. You were pleased to hear a long, low groan from Billy and looked up at him, seeing that his eyes were tight shut in pleasure.

“So, Billy,” you asked, “...what’re these plans you’ve got that are so important I had to take Saturday off?” He opened his eyes and grinned at you, “Can’t possibly tell ya, it’s a surprise.” You took a much firmer grip of him and his hips jerked forward, “Are you sure about that, Billy?” He laughed nervously, but replied, “Very sure, sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry

[skylights2000]

The Things I Never Said (Fuyuhiko x Reader)

~

This is inspired by a game I’m playing right now. It’s called ‘Far From Noise’, and it’s about a person who’s teetering on the edge of a cliff and goes through their thought process as they face this near death experience. I haven’t finished the game yet, so this is really just a story based on the main idea of that game.

I’ve never written anything like this, but I hope you enjoy this story, so let’s get going. 💜

~~~~

So this is it.

The end of everything.

So much for clearing your head.

Soon you wouldn’t even HAVE a head.

You stared out at the horizon that stretched out before you, far beyond the cliff your car was teetering on the edge of.

The world seemed endless from this point of view, like the ocean stretched on forever.

It sparkled and shined under the light of the slowly setting sun.

You wondered what it would look like when you finally fell.

Would it send a shower of sparkling water into the sky?

Would crystal raindrops fall in front of your eyes?

You’d always liked the rain.

There were worse things to see when you died.

Died.

The reality of that death was hanging in front of you.

It was sad really.

Ending on so many regrets.

So many things you never said.

Your phone vibrated from its place in the cup holder.

It was a message from Sonia.

Who said you couldn’t say those things now?

You picked up your phone and hit call.

“Hello?”

“Hey Sonia.”

“Y/n? Where are you?”

“Hah..It’s a long story. Let’s just say I’m stuck somewhere. I’m not sure how long I’ve got, and I have other calls to make, so I’ll make it quick. Sorry I don’t have more time to explain.”

“Hey! Where the fuck are ya?!” Miu yelled in the background, and you smiled.

“Good, Miu is with you too. Can you put it on speaker?”

“Y/n-“

“Just listen, okay?” When they didn’t say anything, you continued. “Thank you both for everything you’ve done for me. Sonia, you helped me learn to be confident. You always knew when I was feeling bad, and you were there to comfort me every time. Miu, you were always there to drag me out of my house when I needed it. You taught me to stand up for myself and not take anybody’s shit. You two are the reason I got out of my shell and learned to take some risks. Thank you for always being there when I needed a push in the right direction. I love you guys.”

“Why’re ya talkin’ like ya ain’t comin’ back?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

You hung up before they could ask any more questions. Next was Kazuichi.

“What’s up?”

You heard talking in the background. “Who’s with you?”

“Hajime and Gundham. Why?”

“Can you put your phone on speaker?”

“Uh yea-“ You heard a click, and two voices came through at the same time, both greeting you.

“Hey guys, sorry for calling so suddenly. I just wanted to say something.”

“What’s wrong?” Hajime asked, and you couldn’t help but smile. He was always the most observant one.

“Don’t worry about it. Just listen for a minute.” You waited a second, and when you were met with silence, you spoke up again. “You guys have been really good friends to me. Kazuichi, you taught me how to fix a flat tire and always cheered me up when I was down. Hajime, you’re an empath, and it really shows. You always knew what I was thinking, and you never stopped caring for me. Gundham, you taught me about the supernatural and reminded me that the past doesn’t define me. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being there for me and for being my friends. I love you guys.”

Your voice was shaking, so you hung up before they could respond.

One last person.

Of course, he always had to be one step ahead.

Your phone lit up, Fuyuhiko’s picture flashing across the screen. You answered the call, and held the phone up to your ear.

“Will you hurry the fuck up an’ let me in?! I’ve been knockin’ on your damn door for almost five minutes!”

“I’m not at home.”

“Huh? Where are you?”

“On the edge of a cliff.”

“What the- Don’t joke about shit like that!”

“I’m not joking. Some drunk guy ran me off the road.”

There was a moment of silence before you heard him yelling to someone, probably Peko.

“Where are you?” He asked quickly.

“I don’t think there’s a point.”

“Where the fuck are you, (Y/n)?!”

You gave him the name of the street you’d been driving on and heard him shout it to Peko.

“Fuyuhiko-“

“Don’t!” He hissed angrily, but there was a hint of desperation in it. “Don’t say my name like you’re never gonna see me again!”

“I might not.”

“Shut up! What kinda dumbass are you?! I’m gonna find you!”

You chuckled breathily. Maybe you were losing it?

“Why the fuck are you laughin’?!”

“You called me that when we met, remember? I ran into you by accident. ‘Watch where you’re goin’, dumbass!’” You quoted his words with a smile.

“You remember that shit?”

“Course I do. It was a pretty memorable meeting.” You chuckled.

“How the fuck are you so calm?”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s cause I finally got to say everything I wanted. Well, almost everything.”

“Whaddya mean ‘almost’?”

“There’s one thing I haven’t gotten to say to you.”

“Well fuckin’ say it, then.”

You looked out at the pink sky, beautiful and bright.

“...You’re a good guy. Despite what you think sometimes, there are people that care about you and want to be around you just because they like you. Not everyone wants something from you. They’re not all using you for their benefit. Underneath the whole Ultimate Yakuza thing, you’re a big sweetheart. You care for the people close to you, and you’d do anything to protect them.”

“He-Hey! Don’t say such sappy shi-“

“You’re a hypocrite though. You always insist that I shouldn’t be around you, that it’s dangerous, and I could get hurt, but you come to my house, and you cheer me up, and you’re always there when I’m in trouble. You’re the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met because you constantly tell me not to care about you, but you come around and make me laugh and tell me about your life and your family. You come to me after your missions when you’re injured and tired, and I always take care of you, and you stay at my house, and we watch movies until we fall asleep. You nag me to dress warm when it’s cold and yell at me when I work too much at one time. You’ve met my mother, and she loves you, and you know more about me than anyone else. You come around and tell me not to care, but you make me care so much because you’re just so..so you! You’re you, and I’m me, and I care, and I can’t stop caring because I don’t know how, and I don’t want to! I want to care! I want to love you, and I do!” You rushed all the words out and sucked in a breath when you were finished.

“I..love you. I love you so much that I smile when I think of you, my heart beats too fast when you smile, I worry constantly when you’re on a mission, and I wanna cry from relief when you get back. I love you, Fuyuhiko.”

There was a long moment of complete silence before “Fuck, why say that now?! Why wait until you might die to tell me that?!” His voice cracked, and you winced when you realized he was crying. “You’re an idiot! An absolute fuckin’ idiot, an’ I swear to god if you die, I’ll hunt down your ghost and kick your ass, (Y/n)!” He breathed in shakily. “So live goddammit.” He pleaded, and your heart felt like it was being squeezed to death.

“I’ll do my best..” You murmured in response.

Your phone beeped, and static crackled in your ear.

“Fuyuhiko?”

More static met you in response, and you sighed when the automated voice told you the call had been disconnected.

You tried the ignition one more time, but the engine only sputtered before going dead again.

“Hurry up guys..” You mumbled nervously.

~

The 20 minutes that followed felt like the longest of your life. You were exhausted but too nervous to fall asleep.

You were clinging to a single thread of hope, but as the sun set and night began to fall, that thread began to wear thin.

Just as it was ready to snap, light flooded through the back windshield, followed by several screams of your name. You leaned your head out the window as best as you could without leaning forward to far.

“I’m in here!” You called.

You were surprised to see not just Fuyuhiko and Peko, but also everyone else too. Directions were being shouted as half of them leaned on the back of the car, and the other half reached for you. Hands caught your arms, your waist, your legs, anything they could reach, and pulled. You squeezed your eyes shut and jumped, trusting them to catch you. They pulled even harder, all of you falling into a pile on solid ground.

It took literally all of you, but you even managed to pull you car off the edge too. As soon as that was done though, they all engulfed you in a huge hug.

You were still buzzing off adrenaline, barely managing to process their tearful happiness that you were safe.

Suddenly, everyone started leaving, all awkwardly claiming they had somewhere to be. Even Peko gave you a quick hug and said goodbye.

In a flash, they were gone, piling into cars that disappeared down the street.

“What the hell were you thinkin’?!”

Despite his angry outburst, Fuyuhiko wrapped you up in the tightest hug you’d ever received. “I can’t..breathe..” You choked out.

“Too bad.” He grumbled angrily, but he still loosened his grip.

You curled your arms around him with a soft sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

“For worrying you...and for what I said.”

“Why the hell’re you apologizin’ for that?”

“I mean, I get that you probably don’t feel that way for me. If you want, you can just forget abo-“

“No.” He stated bluntly, the scowl on his face contrasted greatly by the blush slowly creeping across his cheeks. “I’m not gonna forget it, and you aren’t either.”

“But-“

“I..” He looked away from you, that blush spreading all the way to the tips of his ears. “I-I love you too.”

You couldn’t do anything but just gape at him, shock branded across your face.

The longer you stared silently at him, the more nervous he felt. Hell, he didn’t even get nervous on potentially deadly missions, so how the fuck can one person make him feel like a nervous wreck?!

“Stop standin’ there an’ fuckin’ do somethin’!” He snapped, knocking you out of your disbelieving thoughts.

“I’m not dreaming?”

“No, you’re not fuckin’ dreamin’.” He grumbled. “This is re-“

You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. His stuttered words were muffled against your mouth.

This was real.

You smiled against his lips as you kissed him again. You ran your fingers up the nape of his neck and into his short hair. You held him close, like he would disappear if you let go, and eventually he kissed you back, his arms tightening around you.

You pulled away after several minutes and just grinned, your face just as flushed as his.

“I love you.” You repeated your earlier words breathlessly.

He nudged you away, straightening his tie embarrassedly, but even in the dark, there was no mistaking the smile on his own face.

“I love you too, loser.”

[plush-rabbit]

Golden Silk Robes

Warnings: 18+

Word Count: 4.6K

A/N: It’s the King’s birthday and I had to write something to celebrate

When the festivities are over and the food has been eaten, you sit on one of the decorated chairs and fiddle with a dark hand in yours, tracing the lines of his palm and running over his painted white nails. With his free hand, he goes over the letters and puts them into a neat pile when he finishes reading them. He takes his time with each letter, feeling it rather than reading the words. He traces the edge of the paper, runs a finger over the patterns and scoffs when he comes across one that seems so much like his brothers, that he can easily pick out who chose what paper without having to read the name.

“Y’all are so fuckin’ sappy,” he whispers under his breath.

You hum in agreement, and press a kiss to his fingertips. You feel him tense underneath and you allow yourself to smile.

“Mammon?” You call out to him, letting his hand drop to your thigh. He turns to you and puts the letter down, with a quirk of his eyebrows you continue. “I was thinking, since it’s your birthday, do you think we can sleep together again- like we did last night?” He’s quick to raise his shoulders and his hand scratches against your leg. “I just thought that since we spent the morning together, it’s only right that we spend the night together as well.” You squeeze the hand on your lap and give him a reassuring smile. “Only if you want, of course. You are the birthday boy after all.”

He’s quick to regain his composure. “Of course! I mean, my brothers hog you everyday- only fair that I get you a day to myself!” 

You tilt your head and smile. You rise from your chair and press a kiss against the corner of his lips. “Message me when you’re ready to go to bed. I have to get something from my room first.” Your hand places itself on the back of his neck and your twirl a strand of his snowy white hair. “See you in a bit Mammon,” you whisper and wave him goodbye.

-

You’ve barely had time to give yourself a pep talk when he messages you that he’s ready for bed. You take in a deep breath and look yourself over in the mirror once more. You wear a golden colored silk robe decorated with white lace at the edge of the sleeves and white flowers that gather at the hem of it. It’s short, and if you were to bendover, it would reveal too much. You take a deep breath, and message a sticker to Mammon. You grab a blanket and wrap yourself around it, and with a soft click of the door, you rush to his room. 

When you arrive, he’s sitting on the edge of his bed, phone in hand. The door shuts behind you and he’s quick to look up and give you a wide grin, patting the bed and tossing his phone to the side. 

“Took forever! You’re not supposed to keep me waiting, ya know?”

You chuckle. “Sorry Mammon. I uh, got held up with something.” You take careful steps down the stairs.

“Hiding another gift from me?”

You click your tongue and you give him a coquettish grin. “Something like that.” Your smile softens. “Do you remember what you told me when I asked about your special day?” You walk towards him and stand facing the couch, you carefully remove the blanket and drape it across the arm of the couch. You turn around and he stands straight, his eyes widening a fraction. You take careful steps and you hold your head high. “About the cabin and us?” You stand in front of him and he nods. “Well,” you breath out, "I can't give you a cabin in the forest where it's only us," you whisper, moving to sit on his lap and when his hands come to touch your back, they dance across it, ruffling the silky night robe you have one, "but," you lean against his hands and undo the carefully placed bow that kept your body a secret, "I can give you something else." The silk slips down your arms and you have to hold yourself steady to fight the urge that makes you want to cover yourself.

His eyes are wide and his face flushes shades darker. His hands grow stiff behind you and curl in, bunching up the silk into his hands. His eyes find yours, blown out as they scan your face, as if trying to find the truth somewhere there but when you stay unwavering, breathing gently and your hands play with the hair on the nape of his neck, does he let out a shuddering breath.

"Really?"

You shuffle closer to him, your bare core pressed against his and smile softly when he gasps. "It's your birthday Mammon. You get to do whatever you want on your special day." He bounces his leg and you press deeper into him.

He looks up at you and you can see the shock breaking away, a smile already being pulled. "Anything?"

It's your turn to feel flustered. You look away and your voice cracks, "We-Well within reason of course. You're a demon and I'm just a human."

"Should we have a safe word?" He grabs your hand and slides it down his chest. You can feel the muscle and power that rests inside his body, how his heart pounds in his chest and you wonder if he has similar organs to you.

Your hand comes to rest on top of his crotch where his member has hardened and reacts to your touch. "Goldie," you breathe out, eyes meeting his for a quick second and then the move to your knees, the silk robe pooling around you in a pool of gold. 

He looks at you without blinking, the hand that he rested upon yours removes itself and he strokes lovingly at the top of your head. "Heh, got it." A smirk turns into a soft smile and he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers only to stop when you click your tongue and shake your head. 

He watches and he thanks Diavolo that you can't hear his heart skip a beat. You stand on your knees and your hands come to stroke his thighs. He bites into his bottom lip when your tongue lays flat against him, giving him a long strip until your tip runs down and sucks the tip through the cotton. Your mouth leaves a wet spot on the tip that grows as he begins to leak. You pull away, with the tip of your tongue sticking out between your lips.

Your hands dance on his thighs and until they reach the waistband of his boxers and with a simple tug, he helps you kick them off and they’re thrown across the room in a crumpled lump. “Hm, good boy,” you whisper against his bare tip. You grab his cock and press it lengthwise across your lips, a smile on your lips when he shudders in response to your praise. He isn’t like other genitalia you’ve seen and to be honest, you aren’t surprised- he is a demon after all; once a being of pure good that fell alongside his brothers. 

He has a deep, rich color to him. The tip of his cock is in a conical shape, with ripples that wash down and stop at the tip. On the underside of the head, runs a crease that trails off into a vein and when you run a finger down it, he shudders. He’s smooth- save for the textured tip- until you run your fingertips down the bottom, where he bulges out. His slit is leaking arousal and drips past the bulbous base. He has a slight curve to him, it’s a soft arch to finish what his cock is. Seeing it, in all its glory, makes your mouth water and cunt drip.

“Is there something wrong?” He whispers, brushing stray hairs out of your face.

“First time I’ve seen a demon cock is all,” you mutter and his member twitches when you speak against him. “I’m,” you take a shuddering breath and swipe the tip of your tongue against his slit, a hint of saltiness filling your mouth, “fascinated is all. I think I could stare at your cock forever.”

You don’t wait for him to reply, instead you press your tongue flat against him, and when you lick up, you move to wrap your mouth around the thick base, giving a soft suck to the bulging parts. You whine against him when he clutches tighter to your hair. You pull away and continue your journey to his cockhead, and when you reach the slit, you place a kiss there, and look up at him through your eyelashes.

His breathing is ragged and his mouth is parted open. You feel a swell of pride in your chest when he mouths the words to continue, his cock twitching towards you.”Anything for you Mammon,” you breathe out, wrapping your lips around his cockhead. You swirl your tongue around him, running your tongue across his arousal and slowly, you make your way down to him, what you cannot fit, you wrap your hand around him and even then, space still exists between your mouth and hand. 

He’s thick, thicker than you could have imagined and he’s long, and there’s a twinge of fear and disappointment that maybe you won’t be able to fit him all inside you, but you’re going to try. You hold your mouth there, feeling salvia drip past your lips and coat the rest of him. When you move your hand, there’s a soft clicking noise, and you move at a slow pace, bobbing your head and when you close your legs, you shuffle closer to him, whimpering at the slight friction that just isn’t enough. Your arousal drips past your lip and coats your inner thigh. You pull away and a trail of your saliva connects to his cock.

“You have such a pretty cock, love.” You press a kiss against his leaking slit. “I’m lucky that you’re letting me do this.” You lick his slit with the tip of your tongue and blow cool air on it. “I’m so happy that I got to spend this time with you,” you run your tongue underneath him, “with my favorite demon,” you kiss the base where he swells, “with my first,” you look up and him and smile fondly. You wrap your lips around his cockhead and push you head down, your jaw aching the deeper you go.

You move at a faster pace, holding yourself onto his thigh while the other continues to pump him. He’s greedy, his hand that has your hair twisted, nudges you down and you by the way his thigh clenches underneath you, you know that he’s holding back. Even on his birthday, he’s attentive to what you can handle. But it’s his birthday and if he wants you to choke on his cock, you’re going to do it for him. You push your head farther down and your mouth strains to open wider. A little bit past halfway, he hits the back of your throat and you remove your hand from his thigh and put it between you and the mattress. You open and close your fist, trying to keep your mind preoccupied as tears start to form while you gag on his cock. Spittle oozes out of your mouth in thick globs and you’re pulled away from his cock. Your breathing is deep and ragged and you shake your head, blinking back the tears and when you look up at him, he has a manicured hand covering his mouth and his own eyes are watery. 

You pull away slowly, “Mammon,” you gasp and you’re sure that you look like a mess but he still stares at you and when his hand is pulled down, he has a wicked grin on him.

“Didn’t know you wanted my cock that bad, baby,” he says, removing the hand from your hair and smoothing it over.

“What can I say,” you smile, “guess your greed rubbed off on me.” You rest your mouth on the base, suckling on the swollen part of him and when you look up, he’s rigid. “Now, do you wanna come on my face or tits?”

“Actually,” he carefully slides himself backwards until his body is fully on the bed. You watch him with curious eyes and when he beckons you to come forward, you obey. “I was wondering if I could- Ah fuck,” he looks to the side and the tips of his ears burn a deep shade of cherry. 

Your hand comes to caress his cheek and you gently turn his head towards you. “Mammon, it’s your birthday. Whatever you want to do, you’re allowed. I give you my consent.”

He stares at you wide eyed with a slight parted mouth and then his hand covers yours and he leans into you, an intimate smile gracing his features. “Can I cum in you?”

Your eyes widen and he immediately looks worried, his mouth opening but before he can get any words out, you press a kiss to his lips. “Shit, that’d be really hot Mammon.”

He licks his lips and there’s a hunger in his eyes. “Have to get you ready first.”

He’s quick, the fastest of all brothers who are already extraordinary fast on their own, and in a quick movement, your back is against the mattress and his face is pressed against your heat. He presses his nose into you and your flush when he inhales. “Fuck,” he whispers out. 

He looks up at you and there’s a moment of stillness until you realize that he’s still asking for your permission. You nod and lick your lips. “Go ahead Mammon. Taste my pussy. It’s already wet from when I sucked you off.” And just like that, his face is buried deep inside of you.

He’s greedy when he eats. His mouth moving rapidly against your sex and his tongue plunges into your gooey walls, circling and slurping your arousal. He’s satisfying himself first, tasting you and suckling in your essence, he is Greed after all. His hand moves upwards and slides up your thighs, and a thumb presses itself against your clit and gives a few circular motions. You buck your hips and you can feel his grin on you. 

“Easy baby, let the birthday boy enjoy his meal,” he growls, nipping at your inner thigh and he shoots you a look that sends shivers down your spine and into the warmth that pools in your lower tummy. 

His thumb is rubbing your clit, and when you begin to throb, he moves his mouth to suck on the quivering bundle of nerves. He’s quick and eats like a starved man, he sucks on your clit like it contains the sweetest nectar on all of the Three Realms but when he plunges his tongue back into your leaking hole, you shudder when you realize that that is what it’s like for him. 

His tongue swipes around the rim of your entrance and he circles it around his clit and when he does, two fingers replace his mouth. He’s quick around you, pumping his digits in and out you, pushing and stretching inside of you. “Fucking Devildom, I swear,” he mutters to himself, the vibrations making you dig your heel into the mattress.

“Mammon, your tongue, fuck,” you whisper harshly, moving your hands to entangle them in his hair.

“Keep talking,” he orders, nursing on your clit while his fingers massage your insides.

“Ah- Okay!” Your back arches when he presses down inside of you. “Your tongue, fuck. I can’t even-” you let out a guttural groan cover your mouth with a hand.

“Oi!” he removes his mouth and fingers and you whimper and buck your hips. He keeps you steady with one hand on your lower belly. “Remove your hand. I wanna hear you.”

“But- But your brothers-” you cry when he shoves his hand back in and moves his hand rapidly, clicking sounds filling the room. 

“Let them hear,” he snarls, “been getting too chummy with ya lately.”

You nod and grab the comforter in your hands. His mouth returns to your clit and you take in a sharp breath. “You mouth is heavenly,” you chuckle at your dumb joke and yelp when tingue flicks your clit. “It feels so good. I think I could cum with just your mouth alone. And you’re fingers, fuck! Your dick is going to feel fucking fantastic!” You let out a broken moan when he removes his hand and mouth again. “Mammon,” you whine.

“I can’t have you cumming too soon.” He flashes you a toothy grin that reads more predatory than anything. “I am Greed after all. And my cock gets first dibs.”

He holds his cock in one hand and hovers over you, steady and stiff with the other. His eyes flash and meet yours and they soften. He presses a kiss on your lips and when he swipes his tongue across your bottom lip, you allow him entrance. Your hands move to his back, in between his shoulder blades you dig your nails in them, when he lets out a primal sound. His tongue moves eagerly inside of your mouth, swiping at the roof of your mouth and moving down to suck your bottom lip into his mouth. 

Azure eyes gaze at your lips; they’re plump and red from him. And he sucks a breath in through gritted teeth. In his hand, he strokes himself, and with careful precision from thousands of years of practice, he swipes the tip across your slit, it teases around you entrance and he takes great pleasure at the way you hiss and thrust your hips. 

“I’m gonna fuck you,” his breath is heavy and eyes are glazed over with ardor.  “I’m gonna pump you full of my cum and you’re gonna keep it inside your sweet little pussy, got it?” You nod and the burning sensation inside of you, spreads its warmth across your body. “I want to feel you get full with my cum until there’s nothing left. Do you wanna know why?”

“Yes, please,” you mutter, your hands rubbing circles onto the area where your nails engraved themselves.

“Because you’re mine. I’ve never wanted anything more than how I want you right now. And I’m gonna make sure everyone knows that you're mine.”

He puts his face into the curve of your neck and you yelp when his teeth make contact with your skin. His teeth are sharp and they pierce your skin, and his tongue swipes over the wound, a low growl forms in the back of his throat as your blood taints his mouth.

In his hand, he swipes his cocks in your slit and teases your clit with his head, it swirls it around and when he feels your squirms underneath him with your hands pawing at his back as he slowly presses himself inside of your gummy walls. 

"Fuck, your tight," he hisses.

You chuckle lightly and clench your teeth when you feel your walls expanding. "Mammon, you mewl, "you're stretching me out." 

His head goes in without resistance, it slips inside easily and even though it's slightly thinner around the top of its shaft, it still expands inside of you, filling you and your insides wrap around him, pulling him deeper inside of you.

He's breathing heavily as he goes in deeper. You watch him through half closed eyes and as he goes further into you, you toss your head back and grip his shoulders tightly. Your gummy walls wrap around him and when he pushes himself flush against you, he has his teeth bared in a snarl and it’s only when you stroke his cheek, does he relax into a smile.

“You took all of me,” he smirks and swipes his tongue on your neck, blowing cool air onto you. “Doesn’t hurt?” He whispers, peppering kisses on the underside of your jaw.

“No, you got wet enough,” you breathlessly smile. He’s smooth until his base, where he expands and bulges out. It’s tight inside of you and tears brim your eyes from the tight fit but it all feels so intoxicating. His textured tip provides stimulation and when he begins to thrust, thanks to his gentle curve, he bobs at your inner walls, hitting the gooey insides and wet, sharp clicking sound fills the room accompanied by your moans and his grunts. 

He has his face buried into the crook of your neck as he bottoms you out, filling you up and you jerk and wrap your legs around him when he hits a particular set of nerves. Low whispers spoken and interrupted by broken moans are spoken and breathed across your skin. They etch themselves onto your skin.

“I’m gonna fill ya up with my cum,” he slurs together, sucking on your neck. “My scents gonna be all over ya and then no fuckin’ demon or angel can get near ya; cause they’re gonna smell what’s mine.” He presses his lip loosely where you begin to bloom red.

“I’m yours,” you coo, interrupting yourself when a moan makes its way past your lips. “I’m all yours,” you repeat to him, a promise and a mantra, while your hands entangle themselves into his hair, crying out his name, when the tight coil in your stomach begins to burn white hot. He’s stimulating, every inch of him, and it’s all in you, the grooves and the swelling make you clench tight around him. “Mammon,” you whimper, “I know it’s your special day, but I’m going to come soon,” you choke on your words.

He pulls his face away and grips your face, pursing your lips open and he has this cocky smirk on him when he finally lets go, his fingerprints marked onto your skin until they fade back to your color. 

“Cum for me then,” his hand slides itself down to you clit and he pinches it between two slender fingers, “I wanna watch you. And then while your pretty, little cunt is tight and juicy, I’m gonna fill you up.”

Mammon moves quickly inside of you, the precision never lost, and he keeps you stimulated, moving his head to nip at the space between your shoulder and neck. Your pearl pinched between his two fingers is soothed over by circular motions. You arch your back and tighten your legs around him, pulling him deeper against you. 

You cry his name and dig your teeth into his shoulders and he only gives you a whine in response. Your body courses with pleasure, sending your nerves on high alert and when you separate from his shoulder, you say a broken version of his name. Your soft walls pull and contract around him. Your arousal washes over him in waves, leaking around his shaft and out of you, making the inner part of your thighs, sticky and wet. 

As promised, he watches your face scrunch with pleasure before it relaxes into an ‘o’ shape, your hands clawing down his back while you repeat his name. His cock jerks inside of you, and he lets out a breathy moan when he feels you tighten around him, aching to help him release. Under his fingers, your clit twitches and throbs, and he doesn’t stop his movements. He thrusts into you, and hooks his hands onto your waist and in a quick movement, he’s on his knees and he’s holding on to your lower back while your upper body spills onto the bed. You twitch and shake around him, your legs loosening and falling away from their wrapped position. You have a dazed smile on your face and you whisper his name, your chest rising and falling rapidly; a dark color spreading across your chest and blooming up to your face.

He whispers his love to you and digs his nails into your soft skin and as he groans out your name, making it loud and clear what he’s doing to any one who listens in, he spills inside of you. His seed warms your already burning walls, coating them in a white, sticky substance. He fills you apace, spilling out before he’s even done whispering your name under his breath. Mammon watches as you lay there, looking at him through half-lidded eyes, with a warm smile curved on your face. 

He stays still inside of you and then with a hiss and furrowing eyebrows, he pulls himself out of you gingerly. His seed spills out of you, coating your lips and dripping onto the bed sheets. He clicks his tongue and swipes his fingers, coating them in his own release before he pushes his digits inside of you, stuffing you back with his released cum. Your thighs clench at his movements and you whimper out his name. 

“Mammon,” you mumble and in the corner of his vision, he sees your hands make grabby motions at him and he scoffs with an adoring smile playing onto his lips. He crawls next to you and shuffles with the blankets, pulling them over your bare body that shines and is flushed with a deep color. Your hands crawl over his chest and he gives you a smug grin when your face scrunches as you move your sides. “You really did fill me up,” you mutter, pressing your face against his chest.

“Mm, probably could’ve done more,” his hand soothes out your stray hairs. “But you seem tired and I’m more than happy to just sleep with you.”

Your smile turns into a frown. “Do you want to go more?”

He shakes his head and his silvery hair falls into his face. “No,” he presses a kiss against your temple, “maybe next time, eh?”

“Next time,” you nod, already dozing off. 

“Maybe next time, we can even go to a cabin,” he mentions, watching your face relax into slumber.

Your hand strokes his chest and your fingers jump when your brush against his chest, his nipple pebbled. “A cabin sounds nice. Just us, no worries about who might hear.” You encourage his dream, finding comfort in it. 

“I could eat you out for the whole day until you’re left shaking,” you drum your fingers against his ribcage, “we could film,” you snort and shake your head, a lazy grin on your face, “I could suck on your tits,” you peek open an eye and interject.

“You could suck on my tits right now,” you offer.

“Nah, maybe in the morning,” he chuckles when you pat at his chest. “Get some sleep will ya?”

“Mm, that reminds me, I need to borrow some of your clothes in the morning. Ya know, seeing as I came in here with just a robe.”

Mammon grows a wide grin. “Damn, full of my cum, all marked up, and you’ll be wearing my clothes?” He throws you a wicked grin that falters into something gentler, when he sees your eyes are still closed but the grin is still there. “You really are giving me the best present.”

You hum and through tired eyes that sting with sleep, you smile and press a kiss against his warm skin. “Happy birthday Mammon. I’m glad you’re in my life.” Through your sleepy haze, you feel a kiss press against your temple and soft words are spoken to you. You smile and lightly scratch at his chest. “I love you too.”