#[ voice - adrianna ]

[of-elitiism]

give her attention, she's being fussy

[clownwritesfanfic]

I Could Be A Good Mother, and I Wanna Be Your Wife

Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Summary: Class 1A is given the surprise task of caring for baby dolls. Everyone is randomly paired up in two’s, and it’s just your luck that you get your crush as a partner.

Warnings: Bakugou may be a little ooc but I don’t care

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 6,512

Disclaimer: Reader is kept as diverse as possible but wears a skirt, uses the girls locker room, has long enough hair to run fingers through, calls herself ‘mother’, being able to birth a child, and was originally written with a fem aligned person in mind. This is safe for poc, and plus size readers. The majority of the fic is also safe for trans women readers but the bonus at the end is not. (Y/N) is used only once.

Important info before you read‼️

This fic was written originally with an OC of mine in mind, however, most people don’t read Canon x OC and while I normally wouldn’t care and wrote one anyway, I am very proud of this and want as many people to read it as possible and hopefully enjoy it. So with that in mind, I took out any describing factors and her name but I did keep some of her backstory and her quirk. If that bothers you, you can move on but I hope you read it anyway because I’m very proud of this.

Also, there is another OC of mine in this story, Usagi. She’s not integral to the plot and has no speaking roles. I had to add her to keep the class even, otherwise someone would’ve been a single parent.

Any feedback is very welcome and appreciated!

Title is inspired by ‘not a lot, just forever’ by Adrianna Lenker but the fic is unrelated.

———————————————————————

It was a Monday, a few weeks after the majority of Class 1A got their provisional hero licenses when Midnight and Recovery Girl entered the classroom. Aizawa had taken it upon himself to snuggle up in his yellow sleeping bag and take a nap after introducing the two women, leaving them to explain what today’s class is.

The students expected Midnight, considering she had taught a few of their classes before, but there were murmurs of why the school nurse was there.

“Listen up boys and girls! We have a very special and unique class for today!” Midnight announced as she raised her hand in the air, her leather whip clutched in her hand, catching the attention of everyone (who was awake) in the room.

“Today isn’t about hero work or everyday schoolwork. This lesson is special, it will help you all later in your lives if you choose this path. The path being….PARENTHOOD!” She exclaimed while striking an enthusiastic pose.

“Wait, what?!” “Seriously?” “What do you mean?!” A series of voices could be heard throughout the classroom.

“Settle down!” Midnight got the attention of the students. “This lesson is the most important lesson anyone can learn. Whether you want to become a parent or not, learning how to care for babies and children is a vital and selfless aspect of life.”

There were a couple hushed protests among the class but Recovery Girl talked over them. “You will have one week to care for these babies.” She explained as she pulled out eleven baby dolls of various genders and races. “These dolls are specially made for things like this. These babies will cry, make noises, “sleep”, “eat”, and soil its diaper like a real baby. They’re also able to record and grade you based on how quickly you can figure out and resolve its problem. And be careful what you say around it and how you say things. They can detect anger and verbal abuse which will drastically affect your score. Now…any questions?”

A bunch of hands were instantly raised. But that didn’t matter since Bakugou stood up and slammed his hands onto his desk and yelled. “WHAT THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO RAISE SOME DUMB BABIES FOR?! THIS IS THE HERO COURSE NOT A NURSEY COURSE!”

“Sit down.” Midnight said sternly. She took over the conversation. “While this lesson isn’t exactly meant to play into your hero work, this knowledge can be beneficial out in the field. For example, in some rescue operations, it can take hours for a child to be reunited with their family. Most of the time, medics will take the child and work with police to try and reunite them with their parents, but there are times where a hero must step in and care for and comfort the child. With older children around three to five years old, they’re easier to calm down. You can talk to them and explain the situation and reassure them. But babies and younger children are harder to console in high stress situations. If you learn these things now, you won’t be stressed if you ever get caught in a situation where you’re in charge of a small child. A lot of heroes are inexperienced with child care unless they are a parent themselves or have young family members. Think of this as getting ahead of a problem before it even starts. Make sense?”

Bakugou grumbled and sat back down.

“Eeeee This is going to be fun! We get to take care of cute babies!” Ashido squealed.

“I don’t think it will be that fun, Mina. Babies are a lot of hard work and dedication.” Asui chimed in, a finger lifted up to her lips. She had two younger siblings, so she knew a thing or two about raising kids.

“Correct you are, child.” Recovery Girl said. “The infant stage is one of the toughest stages of child rearing since they can’t communicate their needs and wants with words. It’s a lot of guessing and paying attention to their body language. However, these dolls do not move so you will have to rely on audio cues to guess what the child needs.”

Midnight spoke up. “You will be split up into groups of two all determined by a random draw. Because there are more boys than girls in this class, some of you will end up in a same sex partnership. You do not have to act as a real couple so don’t freak out if you’re partnered with someone you don’t have romantic feelings for. What’s important is teamwork on taking care of the baby. You are in charge of the child for the rest of this week, including the weekend. You may chose to either take turns or to split responsibility evenly. You will be given all the supplies you will need, if you end up needing more, Recovery Girl will help you. At the end of the week you will return the dolls and we will tally up the scores and see which couple has the lowest score. The lowest score is the winner since each mistake is marked based on how severe of a mistake it was. The higher the score, the worse you did. Any more questions?”

Iida quickly raised his hand. Midnight gestured for him to speak. He stood up and loudly asked “If we are to have the baby all day for the rest of the week, what do we do with it while training? You can’t expect us to take the baby with us! That’s highly dangerous and immoral and I would expect better from such a prestigious school!”

“Yes, you’re right. We don’t expect you to keep the doll with you while training. That’s why each of you will have to figure something out. One of you will have to sit out of training unless you can find a better option. Leaving the child in your dorm and hoping for the best is not an option and neither is bringing it to training and leaving it off to the side. It’s like real life. One of the parents has to stay home and care for the child. Sometimes they will get a babysitter but that is not an option for you since the scores need to come from you and your partner only for you to pass. If you really want to train that day, you’ll either have to talk it through with your partner, or train later in the day during your free time.” Midnight answered.

“Thank you very much for clearing this up.” Iida said, bowing deeply before taking his seat.

Midnight clapped her hands. “Alright! With everything out of the way, let’s draw for your partners.” She held up a blue plastic box. “In this box is twenty-two coloured tokens. There are eleven pairs. Each one of you will reach into this box and pull out one token, when everyone has a token, you will be given time to find the person with the same colour token. They will be your partner for the rest of the week. You may not switch partners. Each colour is already assigned to a baby as well, so you don’t get to chose that either.” As she finished explaining she walked around the room letting everyone reach in and pull out a token. When the box was empty she returned to the front and allowed the class to find their partners.

Midoriya and Uraraka had the yellow tokens, Shouji and Asui had the purple tokens, Mina and Kirishima had the red tokens, Kaminari and Jirou had the orange tokens, Hagakure and Yayorozu had the light blue tokens, Sero and Mineta had the black tokens, Usagi and Tokoyami had the dark blue tokens, Todoroki and Ojiro had the pink tokens, Iida and Aoyama had the green tokens, and Satou and Kouda had the white tokens.

You looked down at your brown coloured token and looked back up to scan the room. All your classmates were already paired up and either happily talking about how it would be to raise a baby together or complaining about their partner. You could faintly hear Mineta crying about not being paired up with a girl. You look across the room at Bakugou who was still sat at his desk, glaring at his token.

Upon closer look, you could see that it was the same colour as yours. You sighed, already accepting that you’ll basically be a single parent as you can’t imagine he’d want anything to do with this. You reluctantly stood up and made your way across the classroom to him.

“Um…hey. Looks like we have the same colour. Guess we’re partners for the week.” You said, gently.

“I can fucking see that. I’m not blind, dumbass.” He retorted.

Ah, it seems he’s decided to take on the verbally abusive and absent father route already. You’ll have to do your best to make sure you get a low enough score. You’ve never taken care of a baby before. You had baby dolls as a kid but they’ve never graded you before. This was a whole new challenge and you could feel the anxiety pooling in your stomach.

“Right…well. We should talk about how we want to do this.” You started. “I think we should take turns each day. I could take it today and you take it tomorrow and repeat. I know you probably don’t want to skip a day of training so I can take it during training even on your days. There’s not much really for me to train anyway so I can afford to lose a week of it.” You let out a weak laugh.

Bakugou growled. “Do whatever you want but don’t be stupid. You can train on the days I have it. Don’t stop your training over some dumb doll.”

“But…you would be stopping yours if you-“ You get cut off by the blonde.

“I’m already the best in this whole class! Missing a few days of training isn’t going to do anything. Besides, you’re weak and you need to be at your strongest so I can beat you and prove that I’m the best in this entire school!” He yelled. You think that was a compliment albeit he put it weirdly.

“Ha…yeah…okay.” You replied. Just then the bell rang and everyone started to put their stuff away. You went over to your desk to do the same.

“Please return your tokens to the box! And before you leave, pick up your baby with the matching colour onesie and the bag of necessities. You have the rest of the day to yourselves.” Said Midnight.

You slung your bag onto your back and walked to the front of the room and dropped your token back into the box. You waited for your classmates to fizzle out a bit so you could get your baby. The dolls were all lined up in car seats. You found the one wearing a brown onesie, a girl with blonde hair. You chuckled to yourself at the resemblance to your partner.

You grabbed the handle of the car seat and went to grab the big duffel bag next to it when someone grabbed it before you. You look over to see Bakugou standing over you, glaring off to the side.

“Move it.” He gruffed out as he slung the bag over his shoulder.

You left the classroom with Bakugou trailing behind you, still scowling. You turn around and start walking backwards to face him and hold out the car seat so he could see the doll nestled inside.

“Look. She looks like you.” You giggled. He glanced down at the blonde doll and huffed.

“Watch where you’re going, idiot.” He grumbled. You rolled your eyes and turned back around and followed your classmates to the dorms.

———————————————————————

Back in the dorms, everyone was changed out of their school uniforms and gathered in the common room with their new kids. Everyone of course…except for Bakugou, who very grumpily went to his room after dropping the bag of things off at your room.

You had went through the bag and found loads of diapers, clothing, a carrier that strapped to your chest, bottles, a pacifier, and some baby toys. You weren’t exactly sure why you would need toys, considering the baby isn’t actually real, but you guessed you’d find out the reason sooner or later.

You decided to change her out of her boring brown onesie so you picked out a cute outfit from the ones provided. You undid the buckles holding the baby in the car seat (why it came in a car seat when you don’t even know how to drive a car, you will not know) and gently and carefully lifted the little girl out of the seat, making sure to support her head.

As you laid her on the ground and started to undress her, she started making cooing noises.

“Oh! Hello….you must be awake now I guess.” You spoke to the baby as she cooed in reply. “Ha…I guess you are kinda cute.” You felt as if you were talking to yourself.

When your new daughter was dressed, you decided to go to the common room since you thought everyone would be there, and right you were. As you went down the hallway you could hear the excited chatter of your classmates getting louder. When you were in sight, Mina noticed you and waved you over.

“Hey! Come over here! We’re all showing off our babies!” She excitedly exclaimed. As you walked over, Kirishima stood up from his spot beside Mina and offered the space to you. You thanked him as you sat down and readjusted your baby in your arms.

“Course! What kinda man would I be if I didn’t offer a seat to a lady with a baby!” He replied. Ever so chivalrous, he is.

“Ha! That rhymed.” Kaminari pointed out.

“Awww you got a girl? How lucky!” Mina squealed. “Kirishima and I got a boy. We named him Kenji.” You looked down at her lap where the doll was laid on its back.

“You named it?” You asked.

“Well yeah! We can’t just keep calling him “it” and “the baby”.” She explained as if it was obvious.

Iida then chimed in, his baby tucked securely in one of his arms. “Yes, I suppose it would be beneficial to name the child. This is supposed to be taken seriously and we can not leave a child unnamed!”

There were murmurs of agreement throughout the room as everyone talked with their partners on what they should name their baby. You looked down to the small blonde doll in your arms that let out another coo and softly smiled.

“Riki…” You thought to yourself. “I’ll call you Riki.”

———————————————————————

“Riki?” Bakugou gawked. “You gave it a name?”

Bakugou was helping with making dinner, well, it was more like he forced everyone to let him do most of it because “no one was doing it right”. You were stood out of the way but within talking distance, your newly named baby in one arm and holding a bottle up to her mouth as she “ate”.

“First off, she’s a she not an “it”. Secondly, everyone in the class named their baby. We have to take this seriously and I’m not going to call her an “it” the whole week. Besides…I thought Riki would be a good name. It means “strong”….and since she kinda looks like you, I figured you’d want your kid to be strong like you so…” You trailed off looking down at the doll in your arms. “We can change it though if you really don’t like it.”

Bakugou huffs. “No…call it-…..call her whatever you want.” He continues to cook in silence. There’s a faint blush on his cheeks. You smile softly at him. Maybe you won’t have to do this alone after all.

———————————————————————

The first day goes by smoothly. You had a bit of a learning curve with changing the diaper but you managed after help from Yayorozu. Who knew she’d be so good at something like that?

You had just settled down into bed after putting Riki to “sleep” and were scrolling on your phone. It was about 10pm, most people were still awake but you knew the person you wanted to talk to most more than likely wasn’t. He went to bed at 8:30pm every night, even on weekends.

You stared at your screen open on Bakugou’s blank private messages page. UA made an app for the students to contact each other and teachers with. It worked like a regular texting app, every class had their own group chat and you could private message each other, even students from other classes. All of them were accessible to staff if needed though.

You didn’t know if you should even bother asking him if he’s still going to take Riki tomorrow. Plus you didn’t want to wake him up. You were about to turn your phone off when you got a message from Mina. You open up her message and see a picture of Kirishima with his hair down, asleep on one of the couches in the common room with their baby on his chest. You laughed quietly to yourself and responded with a cute reaction meme. You thought they would make an interesting pair for this project.

You turned off your phone and plugged it in to charge and set it on your bedside table. You got comfortable in bed and closed your eyes. It would take you a while to fall asleep so you started to let your mind wander. You realized that tomorrow Bakugou will miss out on training if he takes the baby. He already told you earlier today in class not to worry about it and to focus on your own training…but you genuinely couldn’t think on how training would benefit you.

Your quirk has always been more of a supporting quirk rather than one that could do well in a fight one on one. Your quirk is called Cheer, by speaking words of encouragement to someone, you can make your target stronger both physically and emotionally. The reverse also works, if you berate someone it makes them weaker. You can use it on more than one person but its effects get weaker the more people you use it in at once. There’s also a major weakness to your quirk. Anytime you berate someone, you gain confidence, but when you encourage someone, it takes away your confidence. Because of this you feel inferior to everyone else in your class. Even Mineta has a more useful quirk in combat than you do. You’re basically forced to sit on the sidelines and watch people fight. It helps in rescue operations but you still wished you could fight like everyone else. You only managed to get into the hero course because you racked up enough rescue points and got lucky with a three pointer.

It’s ironic that someone with an inferiority complex got paired up with someone with a superiority complex. It’s even more ironic that you managed to gain a crush on the bastard too.

———————————————————————

It was now Tuesday morning and Bakugou was sat in his room staring at the doll in its car seat.

You had entered the common room already dressed in your uniform with Riki in the seat. Hero training was the first class that morning so anyone who was in charge of their baby that day stayed behind and would join everyone later for normal classes. Your tie wasn’t done yet and your skirt was pulled up a little too high, showing off more thigh than you usually do, as you were in a rush since Riki wouldn’t stop crying and you couldn’t figure out why. She had finally managed to settle down when you gave her the included pacifier.

You weren’t much of a breakfast eater, especially if you were training in the morning so you didn’t go to the kitchen. You noticed Bakugou sat on one of the couches drinking something out of a mug. He was wearing a simple black tank top and sweatpants.

“Oh Bakugou! There you are. I’m guessing since you’re not in uniform you’re still taking Riki today.” You sat the car seat on the floor near him and started doing your tie. You knew you were just going to have to take it off soon to change into your hero costume but you still wanted to show up looking like you at least tried. “So I figured out that she makes different noises depending on what she wants. Most of the time she just wants to be held or given a pacifier so she makes really whiny sounds that almost sound like a cry. She was just crying now and the only thing that made her stop was the pacifier so she might start up again soon. I made a smaller bag of her things like diapers and her bottle just so you’re not carrying a big ass duffel bag later.” You were almost rivalling Midoriya with how fast you were muttering, you didn’t mean to but you didn’t want to be late and you kept fumbling with your tie.

As you were smoothing out your front, you felt a pair of hands grab the bottom of your skirt and start to pull down. You shrieked and smacked the hands away and turned around to see (to the best of your ability) Hagakure behind you.

“Oh my god, Hagakure! I had no idea who was behind me! You scared me thinking it was Mineta pulling at my skirt.” You laughed and grabbed onto the girls arms.

“Ahhh I’m sorry! I just noticed your skirt was up a lot higher than normal and you almost showed off a bit too much.” The invisible girl explained as you fixed your skirt. “Come on, we got to get to class!”

“Right, yeah, I’m coming.” You responded as Hagakure held your hand. You quickly turned to Bakugou again who once again had a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “You sure you’ll be okay? I know it’s only for an hour before I see you again so if you want to pawn her off to me next class then that’s fine.”

“Tch…how incompetent do you think I am? Of course I can take care of some stupid doll for an hour!” He barked back at you.

You felt Hagakure pulling you towards the front door. “Ok, well…see you later then!” You said as you finally took off with your friend, leaving Bakugou and a few others scattered around the common room.

“Heyyy, Bakugou! You get stuck on babysitting duty too?” Kaminari taunted, his baby settled in a carrier strapped to his chest.

Bakugou growled. “It’s not babysitting when it’s your own kid you idiot. And you look dumb with that thing on.” He stood up and grabbed the handle of the car seat and went off to his room. He could hear Kaminari complaining as he left.

Now here he was, in his room having a staring match with a doll. He wasn’t sure what to do for an hour, let along with a baby. He glanced up at some math homework left on his desk and decided to finish it up so he was ahead of everyone else in class. Ten minutes past when his concentration was interrupted by whining. He looked over at the car seat that was faced away from him at this angle and sighed. He reached over and turned it around.

“Jesus. She didn’t mention how fucking annoying it would be.” He muttered to himself as he undid the straps and lifted the baby out. “What the hell is your problem, huh?” He asked, surprisingly not as loud as he normally would. He thought maybe she was hungry and remembered you said something about a small bag with her bottle in it. He looked around but couldn’t find it. In fact, he didn’t remember seeing any bag with the baby anyway. He grumbled as he picked up his phone and opened up the messaging app and sent you a private message.

In the locker rooms you heard your phone buzz and decided to look at it as you were changing. You saw a notification from Bakugou and quickly opened it.

Katsuki Bakugou: hey, dumbass. she’s crying but I can’t find that bag you were talking about

You winced as you remembered that you never actually grabbed the bag in your rush to get downstairs.

You: damn I must have forgotten it in my room, sorry. feel free to go and grab it. my room code is 6678 it should be on my desk. you know which floor I’m on right?

Bakugou scoffed.

Katsuki Bakugou: yes I know. I’m not stupid.

You: never said you were <3 have fun lol

You didn’t realize you sent the heart. It was muscle memory from texting with your friends, but it sent Bakugou for a loop.

After he had quickly made his way to the second floor and grabbed the bag you mentioned, he went back to his room where he had left the baby on his bed. Her whining had turned into crying by now.

“Alright, Alright! I got your damn stuff.” Bakugou sat on the floor and settled the doll into his arm. He removed the pacifier and held the bottle up to its mouth. He felt relieved when the crying stopped. “This is fucking ridiculous.” He thought out loud.

He rested his back on his bed and started to drift off in to thought. Why did you send that heart? Did you mean to do it? Was it a reflex? Were you making fun of him? No…that couldn’t be right. You were one of the few that took him seriously. Sure you teased him sometimes, but not as much as the others. He thought back to a time where he accidentally overheard something he probably shouldn’t have that still made his heart feel weird.

———————————————————————

Bakugou was making his way to the kitchen to get something to drink. He could hear you and the other girls of Class 1A giggling and talking about random shit.

He was going to ignore the group when something made him stop in his tracks right before he would be seen.

“Sooo, who do you like?” Mina asked with a teasing voice.

“Who, me?” You asked as Mina nodded. All eyes were on you and you felt yourself blush. “Well…I guess I kinda have a thing for Bakugou…” You answered shyly, playing with the hem of your shirt.

“What?!” “Wait, Bakugou?!” “Really?” The girls cried out in unison.

“Why is that so shocking? You guys seriously don’t think he’s at least a little bit attractive?” You inquired.

Bakugou stiffened at the confession and he felt his heartbeat speed up. You…had a crush on him? Someone actually was interested in him romantically?

“You don’t think all his yelling and name calling is a turn off?” Uraraka asked.

“Hm…not really. Sure he says some mean stuff but…he doesn’t actually mean it.” You reasoned.

“I don’t know…he always seems to be serious about it. I mean he doesn’t even know our names.” Jirou huffed.

“Yes he does!” You laughed. “He’s not stupid. He’s a lot smarter than I think any of you give him credit for.”

“He is in the top our class academic wise as well as hero wise.” Yayorozu chimes in.

“Exactly. Have none of you realized that a lot of his plans actually work? He may seem like he’s rushing into things but it’s obvious he’s put clear thought into his plans. And the fact that he can make one up that quickly is impressive. He’s also more compassionate than you’d think.” You said, leaning back on the couch.

“Well I think you’re wrong with that.” Tsu replied.

“Because you guys are only seeing the surface level. You’re not reading in between the lines. For example, remember when we just moved into the dorms, the talk Mr. Aizawa had with us outside?” They nodded. “When Mr. Aizawa left, you could feel the uncomfortable tension in the class at being reminded of what happened. Bakugou grabbed Kaminari and made him go all dumb because he knew it would make everyone laugh. And it did! The tension was gone instantly! Bakugou really does care, he just doesn’t know how to show it like other people. And remember the school festival? He totally could’ve refused to play the drums but he did it anyway! That’s what I like about him. He’s not a cold hearted asshole, he just wants you to think he is. I use to be like that too.” You trailed off, looking ashamed.

“Wait. YOU were an asshole?” Mina prodded.

You sighed and nodded. “Yeah, back when I first got my quirk. I realized that putting other people down gave me a lot of confidence. I went on a power trip and started bullying everyone. I started to realize that the “friends” that I did have were only my “friends” so they could escape my words. Made me feel like shit when I found out. Now I hate using my quirk like that unless absolutely necessary. But yeah….I see through Bakugou’s walls and I guess it just made me fall for him.” You changed the subject.

“Wow…you’re whipped for him, aren’t you?” Mina teased.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just don’t tell him that. I don’t need him on my ass about it.” You blushed and waved her off.

“You sure you don’t want him on your ass?” Mina teased again.

“OH SHUT UP!” You threw a pillow at her as the girls laughed.

———————————————————————

Bakugou had zoned out at that memory. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, it’s your fault for being so damn loud and talking about him in the first place! It’s been a few weeks since that and it’s still fresh in his mind. Did he like you back? He wasn’t sure. On one hand he was pissed at how you managed to figure him out so easily, but on the other hand…he felt comforted knowing someone understood him and didn’t make fun of him for it. He will admit that you weren’t that bad looking or as stupid as everyone else. He did wish you would see the potential you had with your quirk, though. He could feel his cheeks start to heat up and he scoffed, snapping out of his thoughts and looking back down at the doll in his arms.

“I guess…she’s not so bad…” He said softly to Riki.

———————————————————————

Training had finished and you and the rest of your classmates were on your way to your next class.

Upon entering the classroom you noticed everyone that had skipped out on training standing around, babies either in their arms, strapped to their chest, or in the car seat. Bakugou was sat in his spot, chin in his hand looking out the window to his left.

You had a few minutes to spare before class started so you walked up to your partner. “Hey! How’d it go? Was she fussy?” You asked as you squatted down to see Riki, who was in her car seat on the floor next to his desk.

“Tch, no. I told you I know what I’m doing.” He grumbled.

“I’m pretty sure none of us know what we’re doing but it’s nice to know that you’re taking this seriously.” You replied standing back up.

“HA? YOU THINK I WOULD’NT? YOU THINK I’M NOT CAPABLE OF THIS?” He yelled as he let off small explosions.

“Course not. I did kinda think you would end up leaving most of this to me though. But it’s nice that you’re playing along.” You smiled sincerely.

Iida started ushering everyone to their assigned seats as class was about to begin. You patted Bakugou on his shoulder and left to your seat near the back of the class.

He clenched his fists and glared down at his desk, he could feel his heartbeat going wild again.

———————————————————————

A few days had passed and it was now Friday night and you were at your wits end.

It was your day with Riki and she had been crying non stop for thirty minutes now. You were pacing your room with her in your arms as the doll “sobbed” louder and louder with each agonizing minute. You had no idea what was wrong; you tried feeding her, changing her diaper, holding her, giving her a pacifier, you even tried the toys that they provided but nothing was working!

You were close to tears yourself as you thought about how this would affect your grade and how pissed Bakugou would be if you ruined it. The whole week went by just fine, it never took this long for her to settle down. You had gotten lucky with the baby you were given as she was so easy to care for, but this moment right now was proving difficult.

Feeling like you had no other choice, you left your room with your still wailing daughter in your arms and quickly made your way up to Bakugou’s room.

You knocked on his door while still trying to shush Riki. When Bakugou opened the door, he looked like he had just woken up which made you start ranting.

“Bakugou, fuck, I’m so sorry to bother you right now I know you like to go to bed early but she’s been crying like this for like thirty minutes now and I’ve tried everything but she just won’t stop crying and I don’t know what to do and I’m probably gonna make us fail cause I can’t get her to fucking stop and I just…” You panted “…can you please help me?” You nearly whined.

“Give her to me.” Bakugou reached out as you transferred her into his arms. He walked away with the crying doll, leaving his door open. You decided that was an invitation so you slipped into his room and gently closed the door behind you. You watched as Bakugou gently bounced the doll in his arms and started petting its blonde head.

You stared in awe as Riki started to finally quiet down until she was silent. You breathed out a sigh of relief but tears started to quickly gather in your eyes. Bakugou had opened his balcony door and stepped outside to the cool air. You ran a hand through your messy hair and followed them out onto the balcony. The not quite freezing but cold air nipping at your skin. It felt nice as you didn’t even notice that you were sweating from the stress. You bent over and rested your elbows on the railing and placed your head in your hands, trying to hold back your tears.

“She had been crying for so long…I tried everything but nothing worked. But the minute you have her she finally stops. What the hell am I doing wrong? Why am I such a bad mother?” You muttered more to yourself but your partner could hear you anyways.

A minute of silence went by as you tried to not let your tears fall when Bakugou finally spoke up, surprising gently. “Don’t beat yourself up over something you barely know how to handle.”

He leaned his back against the railing next to you. His arm barely grazing against your shoulder, his way of trying to comfort you. You sniffed and dropped your arms from your head and looked forward out into the dark courtyard.

“She’s been perfect this entire week. Nothing I couldn’t handle…but she just had to act like a total brat tonight.” You sighed.

“Hey.” Bakugou said sternly. “Don’t call our daughter a brat…that’s my line.”

You laughed at that, completely overlooking the fact that you called the doll “our daughter”. Bakugou softly smiled at your laugh, also not realizing exactly what he said. But her certainly felt his heart flutter as he looked down at the baby in his arms.

Bakugou decided he’d take her for the rest of the night so you could get some sleep. It was his turn tomorrow anyway.

———————————————————————

Monday had come by quickly, thus, ending the project. Recovery Girl had collected the dolls, and you couldn’t lie, you felt a little sad at the fact that you won’t have Riki around anymore. The class waited in anticipation to see whose grade was the lowest.

When the results came in, Midnight stood at the front of the class once again and started to call out the grades.

“Coming in last place is Sero and Mineta with a sixty-five.” Mineta started screaming about how unfair it was and that they got a faulty doll. “Todoroki and Ojiro have a score of thirty-four, Kaminari and Jirou have a thirty, Iida and Aoyama a twenty-seven, Usagi and Tokoyami with twenty-five, Shouji and Asui with twenty-one, Hagakure and Yayorozu with twenty, Mina and Kirishima with an eighteen, Satou and Kouda with a fifteen, Bakugou and (Y/N) with a score of eight, and lastly, coming in first place with the best score is Midoriya and Uraraka with a three! Good work everyone. I hope you all learned some valuable lessons from this experience!” Midnight finished.

There were high fives and cheers coming from the people with the lower scores and talks of what they could’ve done better from the people with higher marks.

You stared down at your desk smiling. Eight wasn’t so bad, right? Much better than what Mineta got.

At the front of the class, Bakugou has turned his head back to look at you and softly smiled to himself when he saw your relief. He turned back around to look down at his hands as he played with his pen. He could hear Midoriya and Uraraka being congratulated for the lowest score and for once in his life….he didn’t mind coming in second.

———————————————————————

Bonus:

Twelve years later, Bakugou had established himself as the number two hero with his own agency. You worked along side him as his number one sidekick. You both grew a lot since high school and grew closer from the experience. You managed to get rid of your inferiority complex and become more comfortable with using your quirk against villains rather than standing by and cheering on the heroes. You can also hold your own in combat pretty well now and you have a slew of support items to help.

But instead of kicking ass on the street you were laid out on a hospital bed after the longest 7 hours of your life. You were sweaty and exhausted, but it was all worth it as you looked at the little bundle in your arms. A head of blonde hair was peaking out of the blanket.

“What should we name her?” You whispered to the person leaning over you with their hand on your head and looking lovingly down at the newborn.

“…..Riki.” Bakugou said softly.

[littlelamy]

untitled

drew starkey x victoria’ssecret!model!reader

a/n: the fashion show last night was underwhelming to be honest. i wish they dedicated more money and time on the lingerie and wings rather than having high profile models. but i did enjoy seeing tyla, lisa, bella, jasmine, adrianna and so many others; they looked amazing!!

the backstage chaos hums around you—makeup artists rushing, models adjusting their wings, designers shouting last-minute adjustments—but all you can focus on is the gnawing anxiety building in your chest. your heart feels like it’s pounding out of your ribcage, palms damp with sweat as you fidget with the intricate straps of the lingerie you’re supposed to wear. the excitement that had carried you through rehearsals, fittings, and sleepless nights now feels like a distant memory, swallowed by a crippling sense of doubt.

“what if i trip? or my walk looks awkward?” you whisper under your breath, eyes darting toward the stage where the show is already underway. each model that struts down the runway with effortless grace only seems to magnify your insecurity.

before you can spiral further, you feel a hand—warm, steady—gently squeeze your shoulder. you turn to see drew, standing just behind you, his brow furrowed in concern but his eyes soft, deeply grounding. he doesn’t say anything at first, just pulls you aside from the noise and chaos, into a quiet corner.

“hey,” he says softly, his voice low and reassuring, cutting through the frantic energy around you. “look at me.”

you hesitate for a moment, still caught up in your head, but you eventually meet his gaze. his expression is serious, but there’s something else there too—an understanding that goes deeper than surface-level comfort.

“you’re freaking out, huh?” he asks, but it’s not condescending. there’s a knowing warmth in his tone, like he’s seen you unravel like this before, and it’s never phased him.

“i don’t know if i can do this,” you admit, barely above a whisper, your voice strained with vulnerability. “all these other girls have done this a million times, and i—”

“you’re not them,” he cuts in gently but firmly. “you’re you. that’s why you’re here. no one else brings what you bring.”

you shake your head, still not fully convinced. “but what if i mess up? what if i make a fool of myself in front of everyone?”

he steps closer, his hands coming up to cradle your face, thumbs brushing softly along your jawline, forcing you to stay anchored in the moment with him. “listen to me,” he says, his voice dropping an octave, more intense now. “you’ve worked your ass off for this. this isn’t some random opportunity that fell into your lap. they picked you because you’ve got something none of those other girls do. it’s not just about being pretty or walking in a straight line. it’s about the energy you bring, the way you make people feel when they watch you.”

you close your eyes for a second, trying to let his words seep into the cracks of your insecurity. but the doubts are still there, lingering like shadows.

“drew, what if i freeze? what if—”

“then you freeze, and you keep going,” he says, his tone steady, unyielding. “but i don’t think that’s going to happen. because you don’t give up. i’ve seen you face way bigger things than this, and you never back down. so why would you start now?”

his words hit harder than you expect, a mixture of challenge and belief that makes your heart clench. he’s not just offering hollow reassurances—he’s reminding you of your strength, of who you are when you’re not wrapped up in fear.

“and besides,” he adds, a softer note creeping back into his voice, “i’ll be out there, right in the front row. the second you step on that stage, i’ll be looking right at you, reminding you of exactly how badass you are.”

a laugh escapes you, despite yourself, the tension breaking slightly. “you always know what to say.”

he grins, leaning down to press a slow kiss to your forehead. “because i know you. better than anyone. and i know you’re about to blow everyone away.”

there’s a pause, and for a moment, the world feels smaller—just the two of you, tucked away in this corner, away from the lights and cameras and expectations. drew’s hands drop from your face, but he keeps one hand on your waist, his thumb tracing calming circles against your skin.

“you’ve got this,” he says, quieter now, almost like he’s speaking directly to your soul. “and if you start to doubt yourself, just look for me. i’ll be there, reminding you that you’re not alone in this.”

the knot in your chest loosens, just a little, and you find yourself nodding, the panic subsiding enough for you to take a steady breath.

“okay,” you say, more to yourself than him. “okay. i can do this.”

he gives you a final, lingering look—one filled with so much pride, so much trust—and then steps back, giving you the space to gather yourself.

“you better go out there and make them all wish they had your confidence,” he teases, his voice light again, but there’s an underlying current of truth to his words.

as the stage manager signals for you to get into position, you take one last look at drew, and for the first time all night, you feel steady on your feet.

because no matter what happens out there, you know you’re not walking alone.

taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0

[hollywoodroses]

Steven Adler with girlfriend Adrianna Smith, voice of the Rocket Queen (our queen) [date of photo: unknown]

[fallstaticexit]

It's a high honor to be chosen as the photo keeper in the Briar family. Willow was originally the keeper before she moved to Mt. Komorebi, so she bestowed the honor to Ezra. Who will have it next?

prev / next

Also, as requested, a side by side of Nina and Adie.

Adie: Do you like your makeup and ponytail, Grandpa?

Mel: You kidding? I LOVE it, Adie. I bet your Grandma wishes she had one.

Nina: [laughs] Trying to make me jealous?

Mel: Is it working?

Adie: Don’t worry Grandma, you don’t need any makeup. You’re the prettiest ever.

Nina: Why thank you, my sweet girl.

Mel: Heyyy...but I have a face full of makeup, what are you trying to say?

Ezra: We brought some photos for you kids to look through.

Lyric: Wow, that’s probably every single photo we’ve ever taken, daddy.

Adrianna: Just about! One of you kids are going to have to keep up with them one day.

Adie: Oh!! I wanna see!

Mel: There’s alot of good memories in those pages, Adie.

Adie: Aww! Babies!! Ohh, and a puppy!!

Lyric: Well, obviously I should inherit the photos. I’m the most organized between these two.

Adrianna: That’s very true-

Sonny: Now, hold on. I have the most kids. Shouldn’t I have ‘em, pop?

Ezra: It’s more than just keepin’ them, son. You have to keep up with them. You never take photos. You hardly be in them, either.

Mel: Well, I’ve already began my legacy with a grandchild. Clearly it should be me.

Adrianna: Mel has a point...

Sonny: Aww c’mon!

Adie: Who’s Melody?

Ezra: Son, I- I didn’t know-

Adrianna: We should have gone through them better. We are so sorry, Mel.

Mel: No, it’s- it’s fine. Guess I haven’t heard that name in a while...

Adie: [voice wobbles] Did I... do something bad?

Mel: What? No, come here sweetheart.

Mel: So...Melody was the name I was given when I was born.

Adie: That’s you, Grandpa? But that’s a girl...

Mel: That’s how I was born. But when I was really young, I knew this wasn’t who I was inside. I was lucky enough that I had family that accepted me. So, Grandpa was able to take special medicine to make his outside look and feel like his inside.

Adie: Like...[gasps] magic?

Mel: Yeah, just like magic. It made Grandpa so very happy, Adie.

Adie: I love that you get to be happy, Grandpa. I love you more than the stars.

Mel: And I love you more than the sun and moon, baby girl.

The Stoners: Salutations family.

Lyric: .........are yall high?

[lambtotheslaughterr]

Rise : Chapter Eighteen

A Rafe Cameron Series

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 4.9k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN | MASTERLIST | FINALE

all AI images are created from prompts i wrote. they are not real images.

IMPORTANT NOTE*: final warning to those on my taglist. if you do not interact with this post within 24 hours after not interacting with the hella fuckin' Rafe Cameron oneshots i posted last week, you will be removed. i do not like being strict but i am not asking for a lot. if you've been interacting then this message is not for you. but if you haven't been... i'm sorry. you will be removed.

            You didn’t stop running until it started to get dark. You headed south, like you & Bear planned, but wasn’t stupid enough to think you had pulled one over on Rafe. Micah was a damn good tracker, they would see that you took off in the opposite direction you led them in. You knew you couldn’t outrun them forever, especially with the physical pain you were in, but you would be damned if you didn’t try your hardest. You were convinced that if you could get far enough, that it’d be just out of reach of Rafe’s clutches & then you’d be free.

            More importantly, you hoped to run into Bear. The forest you were running through was never-ending though. For miles in either direction you’d only find more forestry. That worked in your favor though. The furthest away you were from civilization the better. Rafe would anticipate you looking for shelter. But you had a backpack full of survival goods. There was no tent or sleeping bag but you’d make do. You’d learn how to survive on your own in the woods, at least until you found Bear.

            By the time you stopped running, the sky above the trees was turning into a dark blue. The trees were growing denser with darkness. Traveling any further would be a risk but you couldn’t risk being found. However, you had to at least slow down. You swore to yourself that you wouldn’t stop moving until you crossed the border into South Carolina, exhaustion be damned.

            But your body had other plans. Your back was aching, the wounds having opened up in your attack against Adrianna. Your feet were sore as well from running for so long. You could feel yourself growing weaker as you walked, your limbs carrying you slowly. Whether you wanted to or not, you’d have to stop & get some rest.

            You peered into the darkness until you found some thick foliage that would make do for some cover. You fell to your knees & crawled into the brush. You ignored your minor fears of snakes & spiders, as there were bigger, scarier things to fear now. You tucked your feet in so they wouldn’t be exposed & shoved your backpack into a small crevasse where you could lay your head. After you felt you would get as comfortable & as safe as possible, you kept your knife & gun right beside you.

            The sounds of the forest sung around you. Cicadas, a light breeze rustling the treetops, a nearby creek with trickling water. You allowed your eyes to flutter clothes as you laid on your stomach, desperate to fall asleep & perhaps wake to a better world.

            Something kicked your foot & you shot your eyes open. Having forgotten you were sleeping within foliage, your head became covered in leaves, sticks, & who knows what else. Another kick & you gasped. Peering through the leaves of where you hid, you could see someone standing outside your hiding spot, your ankle exposed for all to see.

            It was daytime. You scrambled to grab your gun & knife but they were nowhere near you.

            “Out.” A man’s voice sounded, “Hands first then the rest o’ya.”

            Gulping you strained to see as much as the stranger as you could but your hiding spot had done too good a job of shielding other from your point of view.

            “Out!” The voice yelled, “Or I start shooting.”

            “Okay!” You finally responded, “Okay, don’t shoot, I’m coming out.”

            Getting to your knees, & wincing at the stinging stiffness of your back, you pushed your hands through the foliage so the stranger could see them. You slowly crawled forward until you were completely out of the brush & on your knees before the stranger.

            Your eyes squinted at the change in brightness. You shielded your eyes from the sun so you could glance up at the man before you.

            He was gruff looking, like a nomad. His clothes were layered & blended well with the forest around you. He had a full beard that was thick with many gray hairs & a wool cap on his head. His brows were in a frown as he glared down at you warily. And it was only then that you noticed he was pointing a bow & arrow at you. You gulped, your eyes staring wide-eyed at the nomad’s weapon.

            “Whose blood is that?” He questioned, aiming his bow at your chest.

            You followed his line of sight. Your white top was caked in Adrianna’s blood, along with earthen residue from your sleepover in the foliage.

            You eyes met his again, fearful of what he would do to you.

            “I won’t ask again, young lady.”

            “It’s…” Your voice was hoarse & you frowned, clearing it, “Someone who was trying to kill me.”

            “Did they have good reason to?”

            That made you shake. What kind of question was that?

            “No.” You ultimately responded.

            “Why were they trying to kill you?”

            “Because…” You pressed your lips together in thought, sure that any answer you’d give would only prolong your inevitable death. “Because I was trying to escape.”

            The man eyed you from being his bow & arrow, “Where you escape from?”

            “A hell-hole.” You returned, shaking your head in disbelief.

            Running from Rafe was the best thing you could do for yourself, but you only ran into more trouble. Perhaps, into someone worse, though you didn’t think anyone could be worse than Rafe.

            A branch snapped from behind you & you whipped your head around, panic gripping your heart. But your heart slowed as you took in the appearance of a young woman, maybe high school age, appear from behind a tree.

            “Goddamnit!” The man hissed from behind you, “I told you to stay hidden until I got to the bottom of this.”

            Your eyes flickered between the two & you watched in curiosity as the young girl began signing to the man with her hands. She pointed at you, a frown on her face as she spoke without words.

            The man grunted & sighed, stealing your attention once more.

            “You hurt?” He questioned, gesturing to something behind you. But when you glanced back you were confused at what he was gesturing to you.

            “Your back.”

            “Oh.” You blindly reached towards your back but the man raised his bow higher.

            “Don’t!”

            “I—I don’t have anything on me, I swear. I did—a gun & knife—but I don’t know where they are.”

            “I have them.” He admitted, “Now, are you hurt?”

            “Yes.” You breathed out.

            The man’s eyes flicked to the young girl behind you, nodding.

            “My daughter.” He told you as you heard & felt the young girl approach, “She can take a look for you.”

            You nodded shakily.

            “But don’t think of trying anything. I’ll end your life in a second.”

            “I know.” You breathed out, “I won’t.”

            Glancing over your shoulder, you watched as the young girl approached slowly. Your eyes met & you could see the sadness there as she peered at you before getting close enough to touch. Then she kneeled down behind you & reached for the hem of your crop top.

            A hiss passed between your teeth as the fabric of your top peeled away from your back. The wounds Micah left having split open & caked blood stuck to your shirt.

            The young girl shuddered & covered her mouth, her eyes watering. Then she looked up at her father, signing yet again.

            You watched as the man understood what she told him.

            “Someone do that to you?” His eyes met yours once again.

            You gulped, “Lots of someone’s.”

            “You kill them?”

            “No.” Your voice shook, “Only one…but there’s more.”

            “They after you?”

            If you admitted that they were, the man & young girl would leave you, but if you lied & said they weren’t, you’d risk their lives.

            “Yes.”

            The man inhaled sharply, nodding at his daughter to move away.

            “You dangerous?”

            The question made you falter.

            No.

            But you had killed Adrianna. You were capable of taking another life.

            “I don’t know.” You admitted, “I’m just trying to survive.”

            You felt your eyes fluttering closed. He would either kill you or leave you defenseless. Neither was desirable. But you had no choice in the matter.

            A shuffle forced your eyes open & you watched in mild surprise as the man swung the bow onto his back. He stepped forward, offering his hand, “You can come with us. But only for today & tonight. Then you’re on your own. I got a daughter to protect & you look to be trouble.”

            “I understand.” You breathed out a sigh of relief, giving him your hand, “Thank you.”

            “C’mon then. Get your things. We got a bit of a hike to our campsite.”

            Their campsite was incredible. You had never seen anything like it before. It made you recall all those post-apocalyptic films that are set in the woods & you were truly living in one now.

            The man put his gear away along the cavern wall as his daughter led you to the edge of the small body of water.

            She signed at you & you watched as your hands & fingers attempted to speak to you. But you frowned, shaking your head, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

            “You need to take your shirt off. So she can clean your wounds.”

            You frowned at that. The young girl looked to her father then back to you, nodding.

            “I—” Your eyes fell to the man whose back was to you, “I don’t—”

            “Don’t worry.” The man grumbled, “I’m going back out to check the traps. You two can be alone.”

            With that, the man disappeared the way you all came & you breathed a sigh of relief. The young girl beside you chuckled lightly at that. Your eyes met hers & you smiled weakly.

            “Sorry. I just don’t trust people. Especially men.”

            She nodded at that before reaching for your shirt. You raised your arms so she could remove the bloodied & dirtied shirt from your body.

            The young girl worked on your back for some time. It was almost soothing, despite the pain. You had your toes slid into the water & your knees to your chest as she cleaned & disinfected your wounds before dressing them. Afterwards, you felt far better off than you had when Adrianna’s dressed them.

            When she finally stood up, gesturing for you to do the same, you smiled at her, “Thank you.”

            She signed back.

            But as you approached your backpack near the center of the campsite, it was only then that you realized you didn’t have any other clothes to wear. Rafe hadn’t packed that far ahead. You supposed you could wear your bloodied shirt again, but before you could manage to do that, the young girl appeared from within the tent, a pile of folded clothes in her hands.

            “For me?” You asked. She confirmed by handing them to you.

            “How do you say, ‘thank you’ in sign language?” You asked, accepting the pile of clothes.

            The young girl brought her hand to her chin, touching it, before moving it away & towards you.

            You mimicked the movement. She nodded.

            In the tent, you quickly got dressed, save for the thick jacket. Though it was beginning to become autumn outside, it was still much too warm during the day to wear it. But it would come in handy during the night.

            The man returned & he carried a wire string of fish hanging from his first, “Whose hungry?”

            It was shortly after sun fell when you sat by a dimly lit fire in the cavern. The man purposefully kept it low, informing you that the bigger the fire the stronger the smell. He gave you a few lessons in survival & taught you tips to aid you in outrunning Rafe.

            He was a doomsday prepper, telling you he had known this day would be coming for a long time. You had heard of people like him, but you were surprised to see him out in the world rather than in a bunker.

            “Unfortunately, I didn’t have the funds to build a bunker, but I sure tried.” He told you, his voice deep & rough as he watched the fire burn.

            “But we heard on a radio transmission about a commune up north. Survivors. Apparently, the virus hasn’t affected the area.”

            You recalled having heard something similar back at the military compound. It felt like ages ago that that ever happened. Back when all of your friends were alive & on the same team.

            “It’s probably bullshit.” You commented mindlessly.

            The man chuckled at that but nodded, “Probably. But I gotta think about my daughter. If she has a better chance of survival there then I gotta get her there.”

            His daughter was asleep in the tent at that point. The opening to the tent was zipped halfway, but you could make out her forehead just inside there.

            “Was she born deaf?” You questioned.

            The man grunted & shifted in his seat before nodding towards the tent, “She ain’t deaf.”

            What?

            Before you could ask further, the man continued.

            “But her mama was.” He revealed.

            “Oh.” You frowned at that, “Where’s she?”

            He sighed heavily, peering into the embers, “She dead.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            The man eyed you but nodded.

            “Was it the virus?”

            “No.” He shook his head, “Thank Christ. Cancer. She died a couple years ago.”

            Cancer, just another death sentence.

            “Ever since then…she hasn’t spoken.” He said, referring to his daughter, “Docs said it was a trauma response so I let it go thinking she would outgrow it but…she has yet to.”

            “She’s lucky to have you.” You told him. His eyes met yours.

            “Where are your folks?”

            You shrugged, not having thought about them in a long time, “Dead. Probably.”

            He grunted at that, “Sorry to hear it.”

            “I think what kills me the most about it is that my mom probably died alone. In her bed, in our big empty house. I have no clue where my dad was. He was a pilot, always traveling, always gone.”

            The man nodded along as you spoke.

            “I try not to think about it.” You admitted.

            “I understand that.”

            “Where are you two from?” You asked.

            The man took a swig from his water bottle before answering, “A little farm outside Chesterfield. You?”

            “Tampa.” You replied, “But I was going to school in Gainesville when the virus hit.”

            The man whistled knowingly, “That’s a long ways away. You traveled that far with your group, huh?”

            “Kind of.” You muttered, recalling all the events leading up to that moment, “Before everything fell apart, before sides were taken & trust was broken.”

            “This kid that’s after you… think he’ll give up?’

            You frowned. Rafe was never the kind to give up.

            “No.” Your voice was barely audible.

            The man sighed at that. Then he moved, reaching into a bag near his feet. You watched as he pulled out your gun & knife.

            “I was gonna wait to give these back to you till mornin’.” He admitted but then handed them to you, “But I trust you need them more for protection than to cause harm.”

            “Thank you.” You breathed out, accepting them back.

            “I’m sorry you can’t come with us.” He said but you shook your head in response, “Don’t be. It’s better off this way. I wouldn’t want him hurting either of you.”

            “You gonna keep heading south?”

            “Mmm.” You nodded, tucking your knife & gun away, “A friend of mine was supposed to come this way.”

            It was then that you discussed with him Bear. His appearance, his personality, his protectiveness over you. Unfortunately, the man had never seen him. So, he would be unable to tell you if you were heading in the right direction.

            Afterwards, the man stomped out the fire before cracking his back, “I oughta get some shut-eye now. I laid out a sleeping back in the corner there for ya.”

            “Thank you.”

            “S’no problem.” He grunted before making way towards the tent. He did not go inside but zipped it up before lying on the ground outside of it.

            You followed suit & crawled into the sleeping bag he laid out for you. Much like the night before, you listened to the sounds of your environment. The waterfall was like a lullaby as you eventually succumbed to sleep.

            Morning came & before you knew it you were facing the man & his daughter as you prepared to split off from them.

            “Remember what I taught you.” The man started as he eyed you.

            “I know.” You raised your feet to show the socks of your boots. He said it would help not only cover your tracks but also silence your steps. “Thank you for everything.”

            The young girl mustered a smile as she watched you.

            “If you change your mind, we’ll be heading towards Worcester. I left a map circled with where you can find our campsite near there if you want to follow inside your backpack.”

            You smiled at that, but you would not be able to follow them, not for as long as you knew Rafe was still out there.

            “Please be careful. Rafe, he’s…dangerous. He won’t hesitate to kill you, either of you.”

            It terrified you, imagining Rafe putting a bullet into the man & his young daughter’s skulls.

            The man grunted but nodded.

            “Oh, &, if you do see my friend, Bear, will you tell him I’ll be where he lost his last game of beer pong.”

            “Sorry?” The man asked.

            “He’ll know what you mean.”

            “If I see him, I’ll pass along your message.”

            “Thank you.” You voiced before eyeing the girl. You thanked her in sign language. She signed back.

            “Be safe, now.” The man said once more with finality.

            “You, too.”

153 days since the world ended

            It took nearly two weeks before you reached your destination. Thanks to the man & his daughter, you were well-equipped for the lengthy travel. You only had the one set of clothes that the young girl gave you but you stopped every three days to wash them thoroughly. They had also given you plenty of food & taught you how to trap fish on days when you needed to rest & eat.

            The first couple days you had been reasonably paranoid. Though the man & his daughter were a surreal break from the reality of being hunted down, you were back to being on alert all the time. However, as the days continued & you moved further south, you grew confident that Rafe was far in your rearview mirror. You decided to yourself that you would stay at the house for only a couple days, leaving a hidden note somewhere for Bear to find should he come looking for you, before you would move on. One thing you knew about being hunted was that you couldn’t stop moving.

            It was bittersweet seeing the city limit sign for Gainesville. You had stuck to the woods, wide fields, & abandoned roads in your two week trek back to your college town. You had contemplated moving towards Tampa, but Bear did not know where you lived with you family there. So, you would leave a note in his room telling him where to find you if he didn’t show up after a couple days.

            Gainesville had changed little in the five months you had been gone. It was clear the town was abandoned. Cars were covered in dust & rusting under the previous summer sun. Business establishments & homes were cleared out, doors hanging off their hinges & windows broken to reveal the havoc within. You did well to stay hidden as you walked the streets, pausing often to listen for any potential signs of life. But none ever came.

            It wasn’t long before you turned onto Greek row & approached the abandoned fraternity house. You stood on the sidewalk for some time, staring up at it. The last time you had been there was when you all returned from camping. Now, you were alone. The lawn was overgrown & there was a few broken windows, but otherwise, the house was in good condition. You approached hesitantly.

            Once on the porch, you pushed the door open & it creaked with your arrival. You stood outside for a moment longer & listened intently. It was peacefully quiet. You produced your gun from your waistband & entered the house. You did a thorough walk-through of the whole house, second floor & basement included, before you felt confident that there was no life.

            You returned to the main floor & locked the door, pushing a heavy piece of furniture in front of it. You knew it wasn’t the only entrance to the house but most people would try to come through the front door.

            In the kitchen, you glanced around. It looked as if time had stopped. Evidence of the ‘We Wear Pink on Wednesday’s’ end of school celebration party was still there. Red solo cups littered the floor & counter tops. Pink streamers hung wryly from doorframes. A plethora amount of liquor bottles were piled in the sink. You stood there for some time, remembering how not so long ago, you had been in that very kitchen watching your friends battle against one another in a game of beer pong as you & Rafe took shots on the sidelines.

            Rafe. The memory dulled your senses. Who knew this was the world ending would lead to?

            In the fridge, you were not surprised to find anything. The boys rarely had food anyway & what little you did find was rotten & moldy. You slammed the door shut before heading for the stairs. You walked down the lengthy corridor that houses many of the frat brother’s private rooms. On the wall was pictures of members, past & present. You paused when you spotted the face of your boyfriend smiling proudly in one.

            Your heart shattered as you looked at Sayyed’s friendly face. He was in the middle of Rafe & Bear, the three of them in good spirits at what looked to be a pep rally. You remembered that day well. But then your eyes cast over to the man on Sayyed’s left. Rafe. He was never a friend, no matter how much he looked like one in photos.

            Leaving the picture, you trailed the rest of the hallway until you reached a door near the end. Sayyed’s.

            Inhaling sharply, you steeled yourself & pushed the door open.

            It looked almost like how he left it. His drawers & clothes were scattered on the floor, his bed unmade. His closet doors were open & hangers stuck out from him having gathered clothes in a haste. You felt your muscles relax as you took in his room. You had spent many nights there, cuddling with him in bed as the two of you watched reruns of Spongebob. He was your home away from home.

            Walking around to the other side of his bed, you sat down, glancing at his nightstand. In a picture frame was a photo collage of his friends & family. Nuha was in a lot of them, looking glamourous as always. Behind that picture was another. You fingered it & picked it up.

            “Hey, you.” You whispered as your finger traced over his face.

            It was the two of you. Both smiling as you stood one of the many beaches in Tampa. That was taken the first time you brought him home to meet your parents. He spent half the summer with you. You grinned openly as you remembered him chasing you into the ocean as you two wrestled to throw the other under the small waves. Both of you looked so happy to be alive, to be there together.

            Your vision blurred as tears threatened to fall.

            How did it feel like all the time in the world had passed? How did it feel like he never existed? How had it only been five months yet it felt like five hundred years?

            You sniffled, bringing the picture frame to your chest as you lied down on your back. In the two weeks it took you two arrive there, your back had healed greatly. It was stiff often but the pain had disappeared over time. There were still a few scabs, & you could still feel the ridges of the wounds as they scarred over, but they were mostly gone for the most part. As for your fingers, they too had healed. Adrianna had set them before your escape & since you had little opportunity to really strain them, you were able to use them. Kind of. You didn’t push hard, relying on your left hand as much as you could, but you were relieved that your body was healing. All that was left to mend was your mind.

            It was dark when you opened your eyes. You groaned softly, not having meant to fall asleep in Sayyed’s bed. You pushed yourself up, the picture falling into your lap as you did. You eyed it once more before returning it to the nightstand. Your mouth was dry. You needed to drink water.

            Reprimanding yourself, you remembered then that you left your backpack downstairs in the kitchen. You knew better than to part with your survival goods. Leaving Sayyed’s room, you began walking down the hall when you stopped abruptly. The door to the room next to Sayyed’s was open. Normally that wouldn’t have bothered you, as you didn’t specifically note which doors in that hallway were open or closed, but it bothered you greatly because it was the door that led to Rafe’s old room.

            Staring at it, you felt your heart quicken. Could he be on the other side?

            But you shook your head. It had been over two weeks since you escaped Rafe. If he was still chasing after you, he wouldn’t have beaten you here. And even if he had…did he know you well-enough to think you’d come there? If anything, you’d’ve gone to your apartment with Millie. It’s why you ultimately chose the frat house. It wouldn’t be expected.

            Steeling yourself, you kicked in the door to Rafe’s room. It was dark & the only light came from the moon outside that cast it’s light through the sole window. You kept your hand on your gun, finger over the trigger, as you took a step inside. It was quiet, barren, lifeless.

            You breathed out a sigh of relief.

            Perhaps you’d leave sooner than later. Even if coming to frat house was unexpected, you still couldn’t put it past Rafe to check every single place he knew you knew about. Your plan to stay there for a couple days would be cut short. You’d get some water, go back to sleep, & in the morning you’d take what you could from the house, leave a note for Bear in his room, then leave. You had to keep moving.

            Back downstairs, you entered the kitchen, spotting your backpack on the table that was commonly used for beer pong. You began approaching it when you stopped again, though this time for a more terrifying reason.

            In the darkness, against the backdrop of the window on the other side of the table, was a silhouette.

            Your heart raced.

            No. It was your imagination. A trick of the light. Your paranoia.

            But then the silhouette moved, leaning forward against the table. And as it did, you finally caught the glint of something evil in the eyes that met your own.

            “You should’ve kept running, _____.” Rafe’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard as you reeled backwards. But you didn’t get far when you felt yourself crash against a solid figure.

            Spinning around you were horrified to find Micah standing behind you.

            Immediately, you yanked out your gun, prepared to fire blindly but Micah swung a closed fist towards your face & you fell to the ground, your gun skidding into the darkness.

            A shrill scream erupted from you as you desperately crawled backwards.

            “No!” You cried out—angry, scared.

            Your back met a wall of cabinets & you thrashed away from Micah’s outstretched hand as he attempted to catch your ankle. But your fight was quickly snuffed out as Micah dragged you back to the center of the kitchen. He straddled your hips with one hand on your sternum holding you down, & the other gathering a fistful of your hair at the back of your head.

            Rafe appeared above you then, the darkness only adding to their insidious intentions. He cocked his head, feigning a frown.

            “How?” You winced, glaring up at him.

            Rafe shook his head, “I know you better than you do.”

            Then you watched in horror as he glanced at Micah. Nodding.

            “No!” You screamed once more, but your scream died on your lips as Micah brought another fist to your face. And another. And another. Until you collapsed against the linoleum of the kitchen, blood seeping from your nose & mouth.

            Your vision swayed & blackened as you heard the mean speak above you, but their words were muffled & faded.

            Subconsciousness came for you & this time, you hoped it would swallow you whole.

after a brief break to complete the celebration requests, i am back with the second to last chapter of Rise! the next chapter will be the finale & trust me when i say...it'll be a doozy.

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New Traditions // Valentine’s Day Oneshot

Joel x f!reader

Explicit, 18+

Main Masterlist & My AO3

Summary: The last Valentine’s Day two years ago has shattered your view of the so-called holiday. When Joel brings up the idea, you shut him down immediately, but he doesn’t listen. He hopes he can change your opinion on the holiday of Love.

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: No outbreak AU, no Sarah or Ellie, slight angst, fingered, FLUFF

—

“What woman doesn’t love Valentine’s Day?” Joel questions as he lets your bent knees fall on his lap and lays one of his hands on your bare skin. The question throws you off, it’s a no-brainer; your face furrows instinctively.

“I guess just me,” you shrug your shoulders and laugh, “I just- I don’t have the best memories, is all. Ended up catching my ex of five years cheating on me two years ago with my receptionist. In my own home, might I add. So, safe to say that I despise this bullshit holiday.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yeah…fucking Adrianna, the gremlin lookin’ bitch.”

“Welp, his loss. So fuck ‘em.” Joel winks at you, causing you to chuckle and slightly shake your head.

“Thank you, but don’t think my feelings are gonna change just ‘cause you said that. Gonna take a lot for that to happen - if that’s even possible.”

“Oh baby, I got a week to think of somethin’ to do for you. But if it doesn’t work, I won’t try again okay?”

You give him a glance as your head lays in the palm of your hand, propped up by your elbow on the back of the loveseat. “Don’t go out of your way, baby, okay? I promise, I’m okay with doin’ nothing special or even related to it. Nothings gotta change, alright?” Your tone has more of an edge than before, making sure he understands that you really, really don’t want to do anything.

Joel must’ve heard the tension in your voice because he just nods his head, yes ma’am. He slowly leans closer and lays a soft kiss on your forehead as he cups your face with his large hands. Both of you turn your attention back to the TV that’s playing an old episode of Dexter, with both of you understanding your wishes.

—

The memory of that conversation finally clicks in your brain as you stand by the round kitchen table, with a mixture of fresh fruits and homemade omelets as Joel stands behind the wooden chair he’s waiting for you to sit in; you’re baffled.

“Joel, I told yo-“

“Don’t, I don’t want to hear it from you.” He interrupts your strong protest, before it can even begin. “Now, here’s the plan for toda-“

“But I said-“ you glare at his face when you cut him off, starting to become irritated because you really did want today to be the same. You just wanted to enjoy the day with Joel with no special treatment, but the fact that he didn’t listen to your wishes from a week ago kills you on the inside.

Why didn’t you just listen to me?

Joel interrupts your sentence by barking your name loud, this is when your body language shifts. Your arms quickly fold in front of your chest, your weight shifts to your left hip, and you just stare into his face with tears starting to blur your vision.

You hate to be yelled at, hell, scolded would be a better word for it. This has always been an issue for you; the minute you feel like a man goes against your wishes and then scolds you for arguing about it - you shut down and start to crack.

An eerie silence coats the walls of the kitchen that surrounds you and Joel. It feels like time has stopped, he stands in front of you with both hands wrapped around the rectangular dark wood chair and his face sharp. Although you’re about eye level to Joel, you somehow still feel small and broken as he looks into your eyes; you’re not quite sure what to do or think.

You look up slightly and start to rapidly blink so you can try to stop the tears from rolling, so you don’t seem like this weak little girl, but this just happens to cause the salty drops to fall. With a fifteen year age gap between you and Joel, there are times you do feel like a child and it twists your stomach into knots.

Your lips quiver from a smile, to biting your bottom lip, to being slightly pursed, all because you’re trying not to lose it completely.

“You went a-against my wishes, Joel,” you barely whisper, lowering your sight back to him in front of you.

“Just-“ he removes his fingers from the chair and turns his body to face you, now only about three feet apart from you.

“Please sit down n’ eat this breakfast, okay, baby?” He questions quietly, which causes his southern accent to vibrate through your ears.

Still with your arms crossed and body weight on your left side of your body, your eyes shift from his face to the delicious food on the table - that he clearly got up early and prepared for you. You don’t say anything when you look back at him, all you do is nod and wipe the tears from your face.

“Thank you,” Joel sighs, he then stands back and lets you sit down as he pushes the chair in behind you, and he kisses the top of your head, then walks to his seat across the small table from you and sits down.

Breakfast is eaten in silence, but a different one than before. This time, the silence feels comfortable and calm, no tension or eeriness in the walls. It’s just the scrapes of the knives and forks on the glass plates, mixed with the chewing from the two ends of the table, that fill your ears.

So delicious, my god.

By the time you clear your plate Joel is already standing up and reaches for your dishes. Instinctively, you move to stop him, but your brain stops your body from rejecting and you decide to sit back in the chair instead.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you scan your eyes up the large body only inches away from you.

“No need, darlin’,” he responds, staring down at you, he then turns and walks towards the sink and sets down the dishes with a soft, clink. “Now, I want you to head upstairs n’ wait in the bathroom for me. I’ll be right up.”

Your brain still isn’t functioning how it should be, and a large part of you wants to scream at him about how you don’t need to be treated with special treatment. But then the other part of you wants to accept this for what it is, that this man is madly in love with you and desires to treat you to special things.

An even smaller piece of yourself really does want to enjoy Valentine’s Day, it’s always sounded like a sweet thing; maybe this is the time.

So you know this isn’t a time to argue; instead, you smile when you stand up, and you don’t say anything when you walk in the direction of the landing that leads to the staircase. As you hesitantly step onto the dark carpeted landing, you hear the faint sound of the faucet turn on and the clinks of dishes in the kitchen.

The corners of your lips softly curl, and you continue up the staircase. The dishes are a part of the cleaning you did around the house - you and Joel split the chores around the large home, it was something that seemed fair for the both of you so no one got overwhelmed or felt taken advantage of.

So, the fact that he is taking the time to do something off of your list causes your heart to flutter. You reach the top of the stairs and head in the direction of Joel’s, and now your, bedroom. When you gently push the door open, your nose is filled with the scent of Joel, the musky scent of his cologne and his shirts lingering in an intoxicating way; this warm tender feeling forms in your belly, you feel so loved.

You just have to accept that Joel wants to do this, it’s not a chore for him, it’s a desperate need that he has.

Swiftly, you walk through the bedroom to reach the master bathroom that’s connected, and you slide the large barn style door open to the sight of tall candles lit and spaced out on the white tile floor and the outer edge of the porcelain tub, a small chair with bottles that read “Shampoo, Conditioner, Butter Cream Bubble Bath” next to the tub, and two white towels on the back of the chair.

When did he have time to do this? You whisper to yourself as you set your bare feet onto the cool tile, sliding the door closed behind you to keep the warm air from the heater confined to the bathroom. Your mind is trying to jumble ideas together, but comes up completely blank.

You still hear the sounds of dishes and water running downstairs, n’ wait for me. A smile grows on your lips, your cheeks warm up, and your belly spins and spins from anticipation. You spot your plush gray robe hanging on the hooks next to Joel’s black one, that’s hung up besides the glass standing shower.

So you decide to strip your pajamas off, the black tank top and sleep shorts dropping them in a small pile on the tile floor beneath your feet. Your right hand grabs the robe off the wall and swings it around your bare body so you can slip your arms through, and wrap the soft fabric around the front of yourself, as you do a little tie to keep it loosely together.

When you spin around to observe the bathroom from this side of the room, the soft glow from the candles is still just as breathtaking and beautiful. You catch the spot on the counter between the two sinks is empty like normal, at least something is the same. It’s the spot you sit whenever Joel shaves, brushes his teeth, showers - honestly, whenever he’s in here.

To keep some kind of routine and normalcy, you stride over to the counter and turn around so you can push your body up and set your ass onto the white and gray marble counter. Why does he insist on doing this? I’m not deserving of this kinda love and affection, it just doesn't seem real.

Your legs dangle off of the edge as you wait to hear the thumps from his feet on the stairs and the creak from sliding the door that separates you from the rest of the house. By now, the noises from downstairs have stopped and it’s only a matter of time until he’s in front of you.

The same time that you lean back onto the large mirror behind you, the barn door to your right gently slides open. The biggest smile appears on your face when you see him standing there, holding a long tray that’s filled with some more fruits cut up, but this time they’re covered in a white chocolate.

“Baby,” you purr as you sit up straight and he closes the door, then walks towards you on the counter and sets down the tray on the other side of the sink. Without saying anything, he turns around and turns the tub faucet on and to the hottest setting, and steam slowly rises from the water. Then he turns and brings his large body between your dangling legs, his hands placed on your hips, and he lowers his head to kiss you.

Your eyes start to well with tears as you kiss him back, but these are happy tears. You’ve never been treated with such care and tenderness, it’s very refreshing to know that a man is still capable of doing simple and effective gestures. Naturally, your arms hook around the back of his neck, which pulls your body right up to his; the smell of sweat, dish soap, and spices from breakfast overpower your nose.

God, he’s perfect.

“Okay, darlin’,” Joel sighs between the last couple kisses before he hesitates to pull away from you. “I want you to know that today is meant for you n’ that I want you to learn to love today. Cause’ you’re meant to, alright?”

With your hands playing with the curls that lay on the nape of his neck, you smile and nod as you stare into his soul-catching whiskey eyes, yes sir.

The smirk that appears on his face has your stomach doing flips, your hips instinctively grinding on his lower abdomen. His fingers dig deeper into your hips that’s covered by your robe as he groans under his breath, his eyes staring daggers into yours, trying so hard to not give in on his desires.

“Stop tryna’ distract me,” he tells you as he smiles and backs away from your jello-like body. Your arms drop in your lap as you watch him spin around and turn the tub faucet off, grab the bottle that reads “Butter Cream Bubble Bath” and squeeze a good amount into the water, and he swirls the steaming hot liquid. Bubbles start to appear just above the rim of the white bathtub, you can’t help but smile like a child waiting to be put in the bath after a long day.

Joel then brings his attention back to you, and the butterflies begin to appear like they did the first time you laid eyes on him at the bar where you met. The way his head cocks to the side to try to analyze you and your reactions tells you that he’s really trying to understand you fully, which you absolutely love.

He steps between your legs again, but this time his hands find a place underneath your ass and your arms hook around his neck once again. Joel then pulls you up, your legs latch around his waist, and your face rests in the crook of his neck, now lined with droplets of sweat from the warmth and humidity of the bathroom. You inhale once again, you can’t help it - you’re just so intoxicated by the smell of him, it’s almost an addiction.

But, just as soon as he lifts you up, he’s kneeling down and sitting you on the edge of the bathtub. You pout your lip at the loss of the body contact, your arms still around his neck as he kneels in front of you, his face now parallel to your chest.

“Don’t wanna’ get this wet, do ya?” His voice is deep and low as his hand reaches for the tie at your waist, his fingers slowly pulling the string keeping the piece of clothing together. You chuckle at his sudden confidence change, and you love when he does this, it somehow makes you fall even more in love with him.

His hands rise up to your shoulders and he gently pulls the fabric off of your body, letting the soft robe pile around your ass and thighs. His eyes gaze up and down your bare body, lingering on every inch of your skin like he’s eyeing his food, about to devour.

You slightly shiver from the warm air that hits your bare skin, Joel’s eyes move to your tits and he watches how your nipples perk from the humid air that circulates around the room. He licks his lips and mumbles something to himself, between the heater on the floor and the thumping of your heart in your ears you can’t make out what he’s said.

Both of his hands are placed on the top of your thigh and his thumbs start to do small up and down sort of motions. Your cunt beats at the same rhythm as your heart, a swirling feeling growing stronger in your belly, and you try to move your hips for some sort of friction. But your body is stuck from the grip Joel has on your thighs. You slightly whine and he smiles at seeing you losing your control.

“Now, spin your little self around n’ sink in.”

You do as he says with no hesitation, no questions, and no arguing. When you spin around and sink your feet into the bubbly steaming water, you’re immediately wrapped in warmth. Hhmm, you moan as you shut your eyes and fully submerge your body into the tub, laying your back on the porcelain behind you.

The water is almost at a scalding temperature, but it feels amazing on your skin, immediately relaxing the tension in your limbs that you didn’t even notice before.

“There you go, babygirl’, just relax n’ I’ll be downstairs, yell for me if ya’ need me.”

“Wait-“ you quickly say as your eyes shoot open and you lift your body up, causing your tits to surface from the water with clouds of soapy bubbles over them. Joel stops his movements and looks at you in the bathtub, waiting to hear what you have to say.

“You’re not gonna come in with me?”

Joel’s jaw clenches at your soft voice and the question, “Only if ya’ want me to,” he smirks back at you. All you do is nod and move your body closer to the faucet so he can slide in behind you. He watches the way the water moves with your body, and he starts to strip himself of the basketball shorts and his dark gray t-shirt, dropping them in the pile of your clothes.

Your cunt clenches at the sight of Joel naked in front of you. His chest and belly full of dark hair, his tan skin underneath, his cock hard up against his lower abdomen, and his thick legs beneath - he’s the perfect man, physically and emotionally.

He steps over the ledge and sinks into the same water you’re in, the bubbles and water now only an inch away from spilling over the edge of the tub. He slowly maneuvers your body so your back is against his chest, and you feel his cock lay against your lower back. Your head falls to his shoulder and leans into the crook of his neck, and your hands rest on his thighs that bend on the outside of yours.

Joel’s strong arms hook around your waist, one hand spreads against your lower belly and his right hand lightly grabs your inner thigh and raises it out of the water to hook your calf on the outer edge of the tub. The drastic temperature change between the water and the air causes goosebumps to rise on your skin, and Joel chuckles. You feel the rumble at your back as he does.

“Now, I want you to listen,” he whispers in your ear as he drags his fingers down your thigh and submerges back into the bubbles and water, stopping right at the crease before your mound.

“My moon n’ stars, you’re beautiful inside n’ out.” He bends his face and you feel his stubble tickle your neck as he starts to leave soft kisses between his words. His hands are still on your lower belly and thigh, giving soft squeezes to your skin; the mixture of it all causes soft moans to escape your lips, but you want more.

“You deserve nothin’ but the best things in life,” the hand on your thigh lowers and hovers over your aching cunt; your hips rise to try to feel him, causing the water to spill a little bit.

“My baby’s needy, huh?”

Mhmm, is all you can force yourself to do as you dig your fingers into his thick thighs and bite your bottom lip as you let him continue to leave sloppy kisses on your neck. Your stomach feels like it has dropped into a sinkhole, you’re just waiting for his touch so you can relax that overwhelming feeling. And just like that, his middle and ring finger swipe from your slick hole to your clit, your back arches and a broken moan leaves your throat from the sensation.

“Love when you finally give in, the noises you make,” his two fingers softly circle your clit and your right hand comes up to hook around the back of his head as you turn your face to meet him.

“N’ the way your body moves,” he whispers into your mouth as he kisses you with moans between each one. His fingers swirl slow circles on your clit for a moment before he lowers them and slowly inserts them in your small hole. The moan that leaves your lips is swallowed by Joel’s kisses as he pumps his fingers in and out, “So tight baby, relax,”

You try but you can’t. You’re so overstimulated from his fingers, his palm hitting your clit with each thrust, his cock throbbing behind you, and his other hand now pinching your left nipple.

I love you, my sweet girl, you look so damn pretty when you’re full of my fingers, your cheeks get so flushed and the way you can’t form words, just drunk off of the love.

You’ve never felt so loved before, this was all about you and Joel being able to do things for you - you’re finally starting to understand the appeal of Valentine’s Day. Pure love.

“That’s it darlin’, just like that. I’m right here.”

You break the kiss and lean your face into his neck, arm still wrapped around his head behind you, and you finally let that coil snap. With the last pump of his fingers, your back arches and you feel this tension release in your hips. Joel, fuck, you repeat into his neck as you calm down from the orgasm he just ripped from you, as he continues to slowly thrust his fingers in and out of you.

Shhh, pretty girl, I gotchu, he purrs as his left arm lowers around your waist so you don’t slide down too far into the water.

By now the water has cooled down, and it’s still warm but any longer and the two of you will be laying in a cool bath, which is fun for no one. Joel waits until your breathing has calmed down, and when it does, he taps your thigh that’s still hooked onto the outside of the tub. It jumps a little before you submerge it back into the bath water.

You and Joel chuckle at your body’s response, “You ready, dear?” You lift your face to look into his and you nod with a fucked-out look on yours. “You gotta carry me though,” you laugh as you say it, causing Joel to smile ear-to-ear and a deep laugh leaves his chest, “Was already plannin’ on it baby.”

Joel taps you once again to tell you to lean forward for him to get out, which you do. You watch him grab his black robe off the wall and slip it on as he ties it loosely in front of him. He then goes to grab yours and throws it over his shoulder, his hands then reach for yours to grab onto. You smile as you lift your hands into his and with the help of him pulling, you’re able to stand up and step out of the white tub. Water and suds drip down your body as Joel brings your rope around your body and lets you slide your arms into the soft material, then he ties the string to keep it together.

The smile has not dropped from your face, and you don’t think it will any time soon. Joel now has a softer smile over his, like he sees your opinion changing of valentine's right in front of him.

Joel takes your hand and leads you to the barn door once more as he opens it and tells you to lay down on the king size mattress you two share. Your brain is too foggy to try to refuse, so you climb on the navy comforter that smells of Joel. When you reach the pillows and turn around to lean against the headboard, you notice Joel holding the tray that’s full of the chocolate covered fruits that you forgot about.

Your face lights up as the sight of the chocolate strawberries, pineapples, and melons. So much so that Joel chuckles, I knew you forgot about these. He walks over to the side of the bed and sets the tray on your lap, he then grabs the TV remote that’s on your nightstand and he turns it to the station that plays movies that you always seem to love.

As you shove your face with the fruit, you also watch the guide on the TV as Joel scrolls and you look in the top left corner which reads, “2:48PM”. You almost choke when you realize that you two spent over an hour and a half in the bath, it definitely did not seem that long.

“There it is,” Joel says out loud as he clicks on the 234 channel, “Look at that, Good Will Hunting,” he turns his body to gauge your reaction, which is amazing nonetheless.

“How did-“

“Don’t. A magician never reveals his secrets. Now, I’m gonna’ go start dinner-“

“You’re not gonna watch with me?” You pout, setting down the small strawberry you were about to pop into your mouth.

“I mean, I had a couple more things planned, darlin’.” He replies but he watches your posture and how your eyes lower with sadness, it’s like a gut punch to him to see you like this.

“But if you’d rather sit up here n’ watch this, I’d be more than happy to do that with you.”

Your face brightens when you hear his voice tell you that with pure sincerity. You nod your head quickly, yes, please, baby, spills out of your mouth and you scoot over for him to sit next to you. He chuckles and climbs into the spot you cleared for him. “Wanna’ share?” he asks with a smirk on his face.

The laugh that leaves your chest causes Joel to blush and smile like an idiot. “My bad baby, of course.” You grab the tray and lay half of it on your lap and the other half on Joel’s. You lean into Joel’s side, he lifts his arm and rests it over your opposite shoulder as the two of you watch Matt Damon solve a ridiculous math question.

“So did I change your mind?” Joel’s question vibrates your body against his.

You take a second to answer him, you raise your eyes off of the TV and to Joel’s face where he’s already looking at yours below him.

“Order some Chinese takeout, and you sure did.”

Joel’s laughs and shakes his head, deal, darlin’. The same smile you had from the bath, takes over your face again as you push yourself up to kiss his soft lips.

“I love you, thank you.”

“Anything for you pretty girl, I love you more than the moon n’ stars combined.”

He kisses you one more time before he grabs his phone from his nightstand and goes to the menu for your favorite Chinese restaurant down the street. You bury your body more into Joel’s black robe, and you lower your eyes back to the movie.

Matt Damon bangs on the restaurant window, “You like apples?” The other dude nods his head, and Matt slams the napkin with the girl's number on it on the window, “How do you like them apples?” All his friends laugh as they walk into the street.

[asvterias]

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟦: 𝖥𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝖨𝗆𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖬𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋

the cast // series masterlist

chap. 1 || chap. 2 || chap. 3 || chap. 4 || chap. 5 || chap. 6 || chap. 7 || chap. 8

‼️ DISCLAIMERS FOR THIS CHAPTER ‼️

Dealing with Grief and Losses, Trauma Responses, Trauma Bonding, Implied Mentions of PTSD, Mentions of Multiple Deaths & Reader pulling bitches??! 🤭

Italics alone are the Reader’s Thoughts

word count: 5.3k+

tag list: @s0r0ws @starvviss @kjisbae17 @lov3rgiiirl @starless-nightz @random-girls-loves @coolgirl458

author’s note: anyways, i hope you liked this chapter! please don’t be a silent reader and interact within the chapter. ahhh clarisse and reader FINALLY meet!! and so did adrianna and reader!!

🌊 🐚 ✘ 🔥🗡️

CHAPTER 4, EPISODE ONE

Your mind was hazy, blurring visions glitching as you managed to make sense of everything. Through your half-lidded eyes, you saw two figures standing above you balancing out the scenery of the thunderstorm outside.

“Where am I?”

“Trust me, new girl, you don’t wanna know.” The unknown girl spoke, appearing to have braided hair.

“You look pretty banged up, so you should rest, to recover from recent injuries.”

“…Who are you? What are me and my brother doing here?”

“I’m Annabeth, and your parentage is the reason why you’re here.”

“What– what does that mean?!”

“That means it’s our godly parent’s fault for making us the way we are,” Another figure appears, this time having blonde hair.

“Adrianna.” The younger girl’s figure shushes.

“It is their fault regardless!” She protested.

“Don’t freak her out!”

“Annabeth…” you whisper woozy, “That’s a pretty name, and I really like your braids, wanna be sisters sometime? I promise to protect and love you forever and ever way more than the asshole who abandoned you. You too Adrianna, you sound like my new best friend.”

“…Is she high?” Annabeth asked. “What did Cassandra give her?”

“I don’t fucking know, but I want whatever Cassy gave her,” Adrianna chuckles.

Annabeth hits her on the arm.

“Anna Banana, can I call you that?”

“No you may not,” she answered monotonously, crossing her arms.

“We’ll see, I’ll warm up to you, I always do with everybody,” You grinned, shifting your focus to the other girl, “Adri, that’s a cute nickname!”

“Only you can call me that,”

“Really? Oh, that makes me feel so special!” You rejoiced, stretching your arms out, “Don’t worry, Annabeth, I’ll figure you out, one way or another,”

“You sure she isn’t your actual sister from a different father?” Adrianna inquires.

“I wouldn’t mind it either way, she seems smart and honest so I like that about her,”

You fall back into a dark abyss of unconsciousness as the girls’ voices begin to fade out all around.

Eventually, you woke up with a groan, everything began to hit you like a train wreck. You had no idea how long you were out for, the only thing coming to your mind was the two unknown girls from the other day, peering down and talking about you.

The rainy thunderous night, while desperately trying to escape a demigod killer. The car crashed onto the side of the street and everyone waking up battled and bruised. It was your mom’s last moment, in the car, telling you to be safe and discover your true potential. Your cries still echoed in your mind as you shuddered at the faint memory, struggling to keep the fresh tears at bay.

More importantly, the fight with the Minotaur was one you’d never forget. That wretched monster killed your other mom, Sally and so you killed it, driven by vengeance and grief.

It was a wonder how you survived so far, the aching heartbreak of recent losses still lingering in your mind.

“It’s okay, you’re safe.” Grover starts.

“Y/N, you’re awake!” Percy states, rushing to you for a hug. You winced slightly at the impact but returned the hug.

“How long was I out for?” You examined your body, recognizing the same pair of clothes from the Minotaur fight.

“Two days straight.”

“Is there— Are our moms…?!” You gulp, too heartbroken to finish your statement.

They both looked down, refusing to admittedly say it, knowing the losses were a sore subject to discuss.

You frantically searched for the necklace, sighing in relief when you pulled it out, dangling the necklace in your face. You held the sentimental item to your chest, whispered a quick prayer to your parents, and briefly kissed the necklace. The bracelet you wore on your right wrist reminded you of your mother, Sally, gifted on your 10th birthday. It was a Pandora charm bracelet, matching ones, yours was silver and hers was gold.

“I just wanna be left alone right now, if that’s okay.”

You wished the earth swallowed you whole.

“Well, it’s a big deal to kill a monster like that.”

“Did you see it?” Percy asked.

“So, I wanted everyone to know–“

“Did you see it? Did you see what happened to our moms?”

You blinked away the unshed tears, clutching onto your mom’s necklace with one hand and using the other, fiddling with your mother’s bracelet.

“I did,” Grover spoke after some time. “Y’know Y/N most people would go for the eyes but you went for the neck, I’m impressed.”

“She went for both, but okay,” Percy mutters.

“Thanks, Grover, please can we keep the commentary to ourselves for right now?”

“Oh…” Grover catches on, his eyes crinkling in sadness as he holds his head down, “I’m sorry….”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“For not doing my job properly,” His ears dejected as he looked down shamefully “…I failed you both.”

“What happened to my moms wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t have predicted that or stopped it.”

“But I still feel guilty.”

You remained silent, eyes stuck on the ground before a sudden weight crashed into you, catching you by surprise.

“I know I can’t take your sadness away, believe me, if I could I definitely would. So I’m going for the next best thing, a hug.”

A small genuine smile appears on your face at Grover’s statement as you reciprocate the hug before feeling another presence join the hug. Percy nuzzled his head, smiling as you three lingered in silence for a while, comforted by each other.

“Wait,” you backtrack, being the first to pull away from the group hug. You noticed the Minotaur’s horn on the table, “That fight with that thing was real??”

“Oh yeah,” Grover nods, “It’s also called a Minotaur, that doesn’t matter and you probably don’t care.”

“Look at you catching on, I’ve never been prouder.” You joked, finally taking in your surroundings. “Where the hell are we?” You inspected the room, getting up from the bed.

“Welcome to Camp Half-Blood.”

“That’s a stupid ass name.”

“It kinda is.”

“Guys,” Grover stares at the sibling duo, “Not the right focus.”

“Totally.”

“My bad,”

“Y/N, I think you should change into something a little less…dirty.” Grover insists, gesturing to your dirty outfit.

“Good call,” you click your tongue, “Where’s the shower? I’m due for a nice hot steamy shower,”

Grover looked at you with a hesitant smile.

“Oh, please don’t tell me this is an actual outdoor camp where I shower in a communal?!”

The rest of the day went by slowly for you and somewhat, gloomy. Taking a nice shower and changing into fresh clothes was one way to ease your mind, but it only numbed halfway. You wore a bright orange shirt, consisting of the engraved words ‘Camp Half-Blood’ warped around a circle, surrounding a flying horse, and a pegasus, all in black.

Not going to lie, the specific choice of color was too blinding for your taste but you had to tolerate it. Apparently, this shirt was all they had…probably the only one they’d give you, so you took the shirt with gratitude.

However, your beige cargo pants and simple black converse shoes, pulled it all together, making you look presentable.

You complained when viewing the shirt in the full-length mirror in the bathroom though.

How can a camp be in a shortage of decent shirts but have many of these human-size walking traffic lights just lying around? How many kids do they want to come to this camp? You couldn’t even stand a school full of students, and now, this camp is filled with them, you couldn’t escape kids no matter what.

Getting bored of loathing your shirt, you ventured through the infirmary, hoping to be entertained.

The lingering effects of your parents’ deaths still took a toll on you. Your mood was dampened, despite attempting to hide your emotions from your brother, Percy, to not worry him even further.

You found yourself sitting on one of the lounge chairs on the patio outside.

“Hey, new girl,” A voice calls out to you.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, sitting up slightly at the new presence of a stranger.

A pretty stranger too…seems to be around your age, and looks to be a natural blonde white girl. Who also seems to be wearing the eye-soring orange of a shirt.

“Yeah?” You answered hesitantly.

“Is that chair taken?” She points to the empty chair.

“I wanna say yes but I feel obliged to tell you to fuck off,” You honestly respond, shrugging your shoulders.

The blonde girl stared at you in amusement at your honesty, and so were you, shocked even by your unusual behavior. You winced at your harsh tone, refusing to believe your own ears at your words. Great, be an absolute bitch to the girl who wants to be friends with you, nice going Y/N!

Most of the time, you were nice to everyone, but your patience and kindness wore thin so you spoke the first thing on your mind.

“Yes or no?”

“Sure,” you exhale.

You closed your eyes, leaning back in your chair, ruining your posture completely. The footsteps pad against the wooden floorboard and halt when she sits down.

“To be honest I thought you were nicer,” She started, “Sucks to discover you’re just a pretty girl with an ugly personality, message received,”

“Just caught me on a bad day, I’m quite interesting once you get to know me.”

“Oh, I’m certain.”

“Can I confide in you?” You asked quietly, leaning toward her as if you were entrusting her with a major secret.

It was random for you to trust the promise of a stranger, but she felt different, she felt trustworthy enough. Either way, you need to rant your true feelings about recent events to someone. Just to freely talk with them without judgment or their personal opinions, only them listening. You’d talk with Percy, but you doubt he’d be able to assist due to his many lack of experiences in life as yet or burden him with your issues.

“Hit me.” She replies.

“My life changed drastically in only a few hours, and I don’t know how to…cope with it… with everything regarding it. Especially…”

“I lost my mother too,” she hums lowly, casting her eyes downward, a faint sad smile as she recalls the traumatic memory. “When I was 8…she died right in front of me. We were arguing about my father and how I had to leave for my own safety, but I refused to hear her out. So in a desperate plea to end the conversation…I didn’t know where this blinding source of energy, this new power came from, and…it scared me so much. Next thing I knew, the kitchen stove turned on and everything else happened way too fast. The horrid desperate screams, her helpless body being engulfed with flames, and the wretched sound of her body hitting the floor with a final thud. I still relive her death in my nightmares at times, I think my dad does it to haunt me, or maybe it’s my own self-consciousness telling me I did that to my own mother…”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, it must have been horrible for you, a little girl, to endure hardships this early in her life,” You leaned closer, resting your hand on top of hers before hesitantly pulling her into a comforting hug. “Don’t blame yourself for your mother’s death, it was never your fault.”

You frown, noticing the blonde slightly flinch away from your touch. You quickly moved your hand away, not wanting to make her uncomfortable again.

“Sorry, I like to comfort people, it’s an annoying habit…I know–“

Taking you by surprise, she instantly pulls you in another hug to soothe her worries.

“Thanks, I guess I really needed that. Sorry if I was crossing any boundaries or being too clingy.” She pulls away from the hug.

“Of course, anytime. I’m always here to help a friend, especially if they’re coping with a past trauma.”

“It’s fine, it’s in the past,” she wipes away stray tears, dismissing the tragic experience of hers.

“No it’s not fine, it’ll never be fine. That shouldn’t have happened to you.”

“I believe you owe me a tragic story too,” she chuckles, trying to diminish the somber mood.

You send her a weak smile, “Prepared to get one story for the price of two then,” You exhaled heavily, “On the way here…to camp half-blood, me and my family were outrunning the Minotaur, and if that couldn’t get worse enough, it’d rammed itself into our car, knocking us off the road. I was the first to wake up and get everyone out of the car, and…when I went to rescue my mom…she wasn’t moving, unresponsive and quietly still, that’s when I realized she was dead, although my poor attempts to revive her weren’t clearly working out. By the time me and my brother managed some distance from the Minotaur because of her distraction, that monster crushed her with his…bare hands, and she turned into…” You hesitated, pondering whether to proceed with the following information, “She died from the crushing impact…I killed the Minotaur for that. I killed the Minotaur for killing my mothers,”

“Oh…wow, just so you know…I’m so sorry that happened to you and your brother. Your mothers sounded very brave and loving,” Adrianna murmurs, squeezing your hand gently.

“Well, that’s life, what can you do?” You wiped the tears away.

Hearing the quiet sniffles coming from you, a frown tugged at the blonde girl’s lips, “I don’t know how to comfort you very well, so would you like a hug?” she negotiated with you, “Ask for one, get one free?” She joked.

“Sure, I would love a hug!” Your sobs came out in a hearty laughter, accepting the comforting hug.

“I just get a feeling that she’s still somewhere here with me,” you played with your necklace.

“She is,”

“And so is your mother, she knows what happened to her isn’t your fault,”

“I like you, let’s be best friends.”

“Sure, okay.”

“Huh, that was easy,”

“I think we get along so well because of similar past experiences,”

“It’s been proved that therapists call that trauma bonding,”

“We don’t have any of those here – therapists, I mean…but trauma bonding, ohh, there’s plenty enough to go around!” she whistles, “We’re destined to be each other’s therapist and forced to deal with our own shit in the process. It’s a lose-lose situation, we all cope here differently.”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice.” You muttered, noticing the sunset arriving on the horizon. It was a beautiful sight, maybe this camp wouldn’t be as bad as you thought it would be, considering you made a new first friend.

Adrianna exhaled, standing up and patting off any dust off her pants, “I gotta go, but someone will be back with dinner for you and your brother,”

“How long until me and Percy can actually reacquaint with other people our age?”

“Not too long, trust me. Whenever you reach, keep an eye out for me, okay?”

“Of course,”

“See you later, Y/N!”

She leaves your sight, heading back towards the actual camp alongside the other campers.

“See you later, Adri!”

Huh, your first true friend you made all on your own. Your parents would be very proud of this, you know they truly would...but they weren’t here. They won’t ever come back, and sooner or later, despite the grief, you’d have to overcome their losses and move on with your life.

Your eyes flicker down in sadness, reminiscing on your mothers, your favorite memories of them, and celebrating your milestones. Gosh, they missed so much, making you wonder how much more they will be missing out on in your life.

Later that evening, the crickets chirped loudly in the grass as you stared at the sky. Percy was still inside the infirmary cabin, lying in the bed, keeping his thoughts to himself.

You wanted to be there in his time of need, but you knew he processes things differently from you. You weren’t always going to be there for him, to be his steady rock every time. It pained him to come to that realization, but he knew it was true, that you had your own life to manage.

So reluctantly with a heavy heart, you knocked on the door lightly, nervously chewing on your bottom lip. Of course, Percy locked the door, demanding some privacy and time to reconcile with his grief as well.

“Hey, I’m here if you need to talk…we don’t even have to talk…we’ll just wallow in silence if you prefer. Just know I’m here for you.” You stammered.

He remained silent, waiting as you left him alone once again.

“I’m sorry I was unable to protect our mothers, I felt like I should have done something more, or if I’d known ahead of time, I would have prevented their deaths. I’m just…I’m so sorry Percy, I never meant for any of these to happen to us. Please, you have to believe me, this was never my true intention,” You cried, pressing your body weight against the door. No tears left your eyes, it was just your voice cracking with each word.

Still, he stayed silent, even to your desperate pleas.

“Okay, I get it you’re silent now, but whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here, so I’ll be outside.”

You turned to walk away but stopped yourself to say one more thing. “I love you, Percy, and I’ll never let anything happen to you,” You promised.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He murmurs, hoping you’ll hear him.

“Dinner is soon coming, so please eat.”

“Okay, tell me when it’s here,”

As your footsteps retreat from the door, a small smile curls up on his face, content with your presence.

Opening the front door, you stepped outside, closing it behind you, overlooking the sight before you.

Another girl walks up to the patio of the infirmary, balancing two trays of food in her hand, them being foiled-wrapped, supposedly being your dinner. She is absolutely gorgeous! Her skin was beautiful, an olive tone, as the golden hour sunkissed her body, showing off her muscular arms that slowly strained with every movement.

She has curly hair, seemingly refusing to restrain it, which probably tangles quickly, giving her a hassle to handle but you doubt she cares. The olive-skinned girl wore the same dreadful orange camp shirt and a simple pair of blue jeans.

Why am I talking so much about her hair? Snap out of it! Focus on what she’s saying instead of wondering what flavor shampoo she uses.

“What’s up with you? You’ve been saying nothing for a little while, it’s getting quite concerning. I can assure you there’s nothing special about this place. The whole thing is a dump,”

Oh, shit, she noticed me staring at her! She probably thinks I’m weird now. How did I proceed? What do I say to justify myself? Is there anything possible to say to justify my peering eyes on her? Nope, I don’t think there is. This is so fucking embarrassing!

“Just….” You cleared your throat, scratching the back of your neck, rambling anything, “Getting used to my surroundings,” You finished off, trying to convince her about your whereabouts. Who were you trying to convince here more? You or her?

“Huh-uh,” she agrees unconvinced by your excuse, walking closer to you, “Well while you get used to your surroundings, you can eat something, if you fill your stomach with food, then perhaps your mind can regain control too.” she handed you a tray, filled with different sorts of food. She rested the other one on the mini table.

“Thanks for the food…” you squint your eyes, hoping to remember her name, if she even told you it yet.

She finishes, sitting on one of the patio steps. “Clueless and you are…?”

“Y/N.”

“Do you lack a last name or something?” She quirked an eyebrow.

“Matthews-Jackson, call me any which one is fine by me.” You unwrapped your foil, glancing at your dinner choices.

“Clarisse La Rue,”

“Great. Quick question!”

“Ask away, clueless.”

“Where the hell are we?!”

She chuckles, “God, you’re really living up to that nickname of yours, clueless.” The girl sneaks a grape off your plate and munches on the fruit, “Just know it’s keeping people like us safe.”

You stared at the curly-haired girl unimpressed by her vague response, expecting more.

“Already told that, say something new.” You stated.

“Okay…for starters, I’ve taken a liking to you, which is saying something, even for me,”

She steps closer, causing you to gulp down your fear of personal space.

“I don’t know why or how you intrigue me so much when I barely know you, but trust me, I intend to find out.” her gaze pierced through yours, eyes analyzing your facial features and she smirked slightly at your body language. You flushed underneath her gaze, and your eyes averted elsewhere.

Her flirtatious smile sent an intense feeling in your stomach and your heart accelerated at an alarming speed. Thankfully, your brown skin concealed your blush or else a generous amount of teasing would be sent your way. Was it butterflies…bursting into millions of more butterflies?! No! No! Could it be…?! Maybe you felt slightly attracted to Clarisse, but could it go further beyond being acquaintances?! Guess, we’ll see soon…

“What’s this camp’s deal?”

“That’s not my place to tell you,” She distanced herself away, sitting down and leaning her head against the wooden frame. The two girls sat on the patio steps, continuing their conversation.

“But you could.”

“Yes, I could.”

“So tell me, then!”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because I could but I won’t,”

You roll your eyes, “That isn’t fair,” you cross your arms, huffing slightly.

“Nothing in life is, Matthews,” She muses, shuffling closer to you, “Now eat your food, I’m sure you’re starving.”

“Yes ma’am,” You playfully comment, picking around your food with the fork.

She smiles at your behavior, getting startled when your entire demeanor changes in an instant. Your wholesome voice was replaced by a firm tone of authority. It almost scared her a little bit to witness a whirlwind of emotions appear in an unexpected moment.

“Percy!” You yelled for your younger brother inside the infirmary room.

“What?!” His voice rang from inside.

“Dinner’s here! Come eat now or you’ll starve tonight!”

“Y/N, don’t touch my plate at all!”

“Can’t make no promises!”

Clarisse turned to you, “You have a brother?”

“Yep,”

“I thought you came here alone.”

“You thought wrong then.”

“Is he annoying?”

“All brothers are!”

“I heard that!”

“Perhaps I should repeat myself: all brothers are annoying, especially my overdue growth spurt of a baby brother, who goes by the full government name of Percy Jackson-Matthews!”

“My growth spurt just hasn’t caught up to me yet. It’s perfectly normal for guys my age. Also, leave my name out of this!”

“Whatever, blondie. Either come in 30 seconds or your grapes are gone.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Oh, but I would,” You challenged with a teasing smile, “We both know that I’m a big foodie.”

Happy to know that Percy’s feeling better and the sound of food only dignified that. God, he really was your brother.

The following day was a recurring one, you and Percy remained in the infirmary cabin, both deciding to get introduced to the head adults of this camp.

Your brother’s eyes caught onto another small building, an open room, a few feet away and you two stumbled across there.

“Excuse me, sir, I’m Percy Jackson-Matthews.”

“And I’m Y/N Jackson-Matthews, we’re new here,”

“Peter Johnson and Y/N Morgan are here.” He shouts to no one, creating an echo.

“Okay,” Percy shuffled on his feet, looking clueless, “That isn’t really our names.”

“Not even remotely close.” you shake your head at the man before you, “Do you know where the office is? Or who’s in charge of this…dump?” You peer at the stacked old dusty wooden box against the wall, instinctively jumping away when a spider appears. Percy scoffs at your sudden clinginess, wondering what scared you but he flinches away, noticing the large spider on the box too.

The man slides his shades down, getting a much better look at the two siblings.

“For your information, missy, this camp isn’t a dump.”

“Then what is it? I doubt it’s a heaven.”

“You’re right, it’s a hellhole, my personal hell, and you just happened to spawn here without warning.”

Grover’s hurried tone appears throughout the room as he runs inside, standing in between the two Jackson siblings.

“Percy and Y/N, this is Mr. D. He’s the camp director.” He introduced you two.

“Mr. D. This is Percy and Y/N Jackson-Matthews.”

“Yeah, Grover,” he throws his sunglasses on the table, “I heard them the first time.”

You tilted your head at the man, “But did you?”

Grover pulled you and Percy aside in a small corner of the room.

“You don’t really wanna start with this guy,” Grover warns.

“Don’t wanna start with him but he’s starting with us,” You retaliated.

“Y/N, the D is for Dionysus, that’s Dionysus,” He recorrects himself.

“What do you mean Dionysus?” You inquired, “That’s an ancient ass name, who names their kid Dionysus?”

“Like the god Dionysus?” Percy persisted.

“No way!”

“Yes, way!”

“There’s no fucking way!”

“You’re not supposed to be cursing,” Percy gasps.

“Oh, and what are you gonna do? Bite me, blondie boy,” You snarled at your brother.

“Do you wanna go? Do you wanna go right now because we can go right now?”

“Shut up you doofus. We’d both know you’d lose, even Grover knows it,”

“Make me, loser,” Percy stuck his tongue out at you.

“Guys let’s not…do that right here. Can you both please be civilized people, at least for a couple of minutes?”

“I can, I have more self-control than Percy,”

“My sister is an excellent liar,”

The three of you turned back to him, walking forward to his table.

“Excuse me, your highness.” Percy starts. You close your eyes, whispering an incoherent prayer as you shake your head in embarrassment. Dionysus grumbles in disapproval and you roll your eyes, slapping Percy in the back of his head, lunging his head forward a little bit.

“Ow, Y/N, what was that for?” He held his head, spinning to you in shock.

“Why are you calling him your highness? He’s not a god or royalty.”

“Yes, he is. Grover just told us.”

“No you imbecile, he told us Dionysus was a god, not a powerful god or not one of the gods.”

“He doesn’t have to be important, he’s still a god.”

“Very obviously not an important god if he works at this dump of a camp, this is probably some punishment for him,”

“Anyways,” he focuses his attention back onto Dionysus, “I think my dad may be around here somewhere, and I don’t know how to ask for him…we don’t even know his name, but I think we should see him,” he says, glancing at you, “I think we really need that right now. Can you help us?” he blinks at Dionysus.

“Yeah, he owes us that much,” You snort, crossing your arms, “Years of abandonment and he doesn’t have the decency to show up.”

After Percy’s sentimental confession, Dionysus sits upright, resting his coke can on the table, and begins to speak. “Actually I think I can….son.” he concludes, keeping a neutral face as he looks at you, “and my beloved daughter.”

“Dad…” Percy initiates, stunned at the revelation.

“Hold up, what?”

“Yes, Peter?”

“It’s Percy.”

“Exactly.”

“You idiot, he’s not our dad.”

“He so could be.”

“How? Tell me how Percy?”

“Save the sibling theatrics for later. Now, before we get to know each other, there’s something very important I wasn’t you to do for me, okay?”

Percy agrees to the instructions.

“In the galley,” You looked at the open door, staring at the far distant green galley, “There is a bottle of 1985 Château Haut-Brion. Will you go fetch that for me?”

“Uhh, fuck no, my brother’s not your lap dog, he may have the personality for it, but he’s not doing that.”

“No one’s talking to you, missy!” The older man rebuts.

“Is that really all you have to say to us?”

“Hey, um, Mr. D, even if Percy was–“

“Uh, uh, uh, bup! Grover, quiet, please. This is a nice moment, don’t ruin it.”

You stifled a laugh as Grover was rendered silent.

“The galley is right down that path. Grab that bottle and I’ll talk to you about whatever you want. You know, uh…you, uh…me, who cares?”

Percy contemplated his decision for a minute before concluding. He motioned to walk outside the room, but he stopped in his tracks, eyes intensely focused on a moving presence, the sound of hooves against the hardwood floor.

“Holy shit, what the fuck–“

Okay, you were clearly losing it now!

Mr. Brunner stalked closer towards you two, confident in his movements as he halted, staring at the siblings.

He clicked his tongue, “Percy. Y/N.”

“Mr. Brunner?” Percy asked, appalled.

“What are you?!” You inquired, bewildered.

At that, the man remained quiet.

“Uh, Mr. Brunner’s real name is Chiron.” Grover informs, “Camp activities directory, immortal trainer of heroes, he is–“

“Grover, thank you. I’ll take it from here.”

“Oh, Y/N and Percy, this must be a lot for you to process.”

“You being half horse is adding more to that,” You crossed your arms.

“Oh, no. It’s–it’s fine. I mean you’re a horse, my father won’t talk to me unless I get him a drink. Well this all seems totally normal and reasonable–“

“Dionysus has no clue who we are, do you?”

“Yes, I do.” Mr. D replied nonchalantly, “What kind of father would I be if I didn’t.”

“A horrible deadbeat one, that’s for sure.”

“Aren’t you the life of the party?”

“You just wanted to get drunk, did you?”

“Well, if I have to deal with kids like you, I’m gonna need one every hour of the day.”

“No, no, no.” Chiron explains, “Mr. D is not your father, either of you.” The siblings turned to him.

“Told you, dummy.” You grit your teeth at your brother.

“I could be.” he reaffirms with a nod.

“Yes, but are you?”

“Why must you ruin everything?”

“I was right,”

“Aren’t you a little miss know it all? I’m sure you’d fit in right with Athena’s children, possibly another sister of Annabeth.”

“Mr. D knows that Zeus has forbidden him from consuming alcohol and that demigods can do things for gods that gods are forbidden to do for themselves. Mr. D was taking advantage of that. Hmm?”

Your brother faced Mr. D and he only offered a shrug and displeased face.

“Percy, Y/N, walk with me and we’ll start again,” He bargains.

Agreeing with the man’s kind words, you and Percy follow after Chiron, to which Grover trails behind until Chiron stops him.

“Uh, Grover, please give us a moment,”

The boy sighed and fell back, watching you and Percy walking with Chiron towards the camp.

likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

© asvterias, 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works onto any other platforms without my permission.

[of-elitiism]

Throws a stick over all characters heads

"...rude."

Thinks he gets it and sighs because it's so on the nose.

Struggles really hard not to chase after it.

"Whoa! Watch out!"

Gets hit in the head.

[of-elitiism]

“Of course the American needs to bring freedom of speech into this...” she’d almost chuckle at that if it wasn’t just plain stupid. “But it is quite interesting to see how you’ve suddenly turned altruistic, wishing me to find what i’m looking for. But it is far more fascinating that you still consider me a stranger. Yet, i feel like i know a lot more about than you would have been inclined to share. And i’m inclined to believe....” there’s a wickedness in the way the corners of her mouth twitch into a smirk.

“...You emphasize with me so much more than you’re comfortable to admit. We might not be quite so different after all, little one.”

“Also yes, i am done babysitting. Be wary when climbing over the doorstep, it’s quite tall~”

With the frustration growing in the other woman, Mich couldn't help but smile. Yeah, Adrianna made some decent points. But she wanted a conflict, did she not? Or else she wouldn't have ran her mouth in the first place. Mich is simply giving her what she wanted! Aw poo, guess that backfired, didn't it?

Not that this angel would be satisfied with anything Mich said. For some reason she couldn't help but think that no matter what Mich says, Adri will always find a way to say she's wrong or missing the point. Oh well. It's really all fun and games to Mich.

This wingless chicken has such little value to Mich.

"That's the funny thing about freedom of speech, ain't it?"

"Yeah... Well, I could say the same for you. Neither of us will be genuinely happy. But I found something that sparks that in me. It's a start, is it not?"

"Hope you find what you're looking for. Lord knows you've set the bar too high to reach..."

"I'll take criticism from those I can trust with it. I won't take the bullshit you strangers spout. Everyone has opinions. Only very few of them have any meaning."

"Are you done yet? How much time have you wasted here?"

[heartrobynn]

01. “The start of nothing.”

I ask everyone who interacts with this account to educate themselves, support, and donate to Palestine.

Please click to support Palestine, won’t take more than 20 seconds.

Author note: This is my first fanfic I’ve ever made, so if this is really butt I apologize on my behalf! 😥 I’d also really appreciate it if given criticism, so I can try to improve my writing!! Honestly, I was gonna scrap this because I hate how it turned out, but I would’ve felt bad since people were excited for it.

series masterlist

Word count: 1.6k

“BUZZ!! BUZZ!!”, the bulky alarm clock that sits on your nightstand sang. Mumbles escaped your lips as you slowly started to awaken from your slumber. Getting irritated from the repetitive siren, you forced yourself up and unplugged the whole device. “Fucking hell.”, you mumbled to yourself, already knowing today was gonna be a long day. Every semester, everyone’s schedule gets changed because you’re required to take 4 classes each semester, unless you have release time. Last Friday, everyone got their schedule and you came to find out you have no classes with your two closest friends, Arianna and Maia. Which you were really annoyed about because you don’t really talk to anyone else. (But hey, at least you guys have lunch with each other!!) It’s not even like you cannot make friends, you just kinda choose not to, better to keep your friend group small anyways. 

After staring into the abyss for 5 minutes, trying to gain your consciousness, you decided to do something productive and hopped in the shower. After refreshing yourself for the day, you decided to wear an oversized, multi neutral color sweater and some dull colored jeans that weren’t your exact size, but not exactly over sized either. You added some jewels to your fit, so you looked less dead. Not having the energy to put on your usual makeup routine, you decided to apply mascara to your lashes and wore your favorite lip combo. After you were satisfied by how you looked, you grabbed your headphones and headed down stairs. 

“Morning sleeping beauty, how was your sleep last night?”, voice coming from the man sitting down on the table chair, reading the latest newspaper like the old man he is. “Morning papa! My sleep was decent, wished I could’ve slept in though.”, you sigh as you’re putting on your UNIF Phoebes. “You know what happened last time I let you stay home, don’t need your mother being pissy towards me.”, your father opened his mouth to add on, but decided not to say anything else at the last second. You shift around in the kitchen, grabbing the chicken wrap you made last night and a bottle of water. Walking to the door to grab your book bag and stuffing all your items necessary for the day in it, “Alright, I’m leaving now. Stay safe, love you!”, you walk out the door to see Adrianna and Maia waiting for you.

You enter the back seat of the jet black Toyota Corolla, which belonged to Adrianna. As you enter the car, your ears immediately get blasted by the lyrics coming from the aux, however since it’s Window Seat by Erykah Badu, it's a valid excuse to be blasting music that loud at 7:15. “Hey boo, you look so adorbs today!”, your effortlessly pretty friend, Maia, tells you while staring at you through the rearview mirror. “Thanks my love, feel so shitty today, so that made me feel a little better”, you groan as you start to slouch in the car seat, dreading the fact y’all would be arriving at school in the next 10 minutes. Adrianna giggles at you, you were always the dramatic one out of the trio, “Trust and believe that you can last 3 periods without us until lunch. Plus, you could use this as an opportunity to get to know more people!” Maia nods her head agreeing with Adrianna. Even though you have Maia and Adrianna, your friends really were persistent in you meeting new people, especially since this was y’all last year, they just didn’t want you regretting missing out on so many opportunities. “Sighhh, I guess I could.”, you continue to slouch in the car seat, while Adrianna starts singing her own adlibs (that she swears up and down eats) and Maia groans in annoyance because she's gonna go crazy if Adrianna continues singing.

The first day with your renewed schedule wasn’t all that bad, but wasn’t interesting either. Well, not until your third period class. Your first period was Spanish IV, you sat in the back so you won’t gather much of your teacher’s attention later in the year. Even though you enjoyed learning Spanish, you hated when your previous Spanish teachers would randomly pick on you to read out a question or sentence they had on the board. Although, as you were seated in the back of the classroom, you noticed a certain auburn hair colored girl, she really only caught your eye because she was fast asleep during the little icebreakers your teacher showcased on the board. She was so into her sleep that you almost envied her, wishing you could sleep just like a newborn baby who just got breastfed just like she was. You whipped out your phone, not wanting to look like a creep for staring so hard and scrolled through r/AITA thread until class ended. 

When the period ended, you and your friends met up with each other so y'all could walk each other to class, even if y'all had to go separate ways. “Bro there’s this girl in my class and I swear she’s the love of my life.”, Adrianna dreamily sighs thinking about the girl’s captivating beauty and her alluring smile, while you and Maia give her the stankest side eye. “Babes.., this is like the 3rd girl you swore was the love of your life in the past 2 weeks.” Adrianna redirected her attention to Maia while you added on, “no actually, and then they be the most vile looking creatures I’ve seen.”, Adrianna rolled her eyes at the both of you raining on her parade, “Why can’t y'all ever support me? If I wanna fall in love with every woman I meet, y'all supposed to be my best wingmen.” Adrianna playfully argued with the both of y'all before the warning bell rudely interrupted. “Oh shit, we gotta go. I’m not tryna get caught up in the hall sweep again.” All three of y'all quickly scattered as y'all said your goodbyes, thankfully your class was nearby, so you weren’t late!

You walked into your calculus I class, only to find there was one seat left and it was right in the front too. You already knew you were gonna despise this class, as you sat down in the seat, your teacher began to pass out papers to the class, “To those who just walked in, I’m passing out a review paper of different pre-calculus problems to refresh your memories for next class because we’ll be getting straight into the lesson.” Students around the classroom mumbling and groaning in annoyance, all you can do is just sit in silence as you’re about to fall into your inevitable doom. Your teacher hands your own paper, you look at the first question, only to find out you’re completely cooked.

After that abominable second period, you decided to go straight to your AP Physics class rather than hanging out with your friends during the passing period because you wanted to have the opportunity to pick your seat without being limited. However, that wish got immediately crushed when you walked in the classroom just to see assign seats displayed on the board, “are you fucking serious right now.” you think to yourself trying not to crash out in the middle of class. You look at the name of the girl who sat right next to you, Abigail Anderson. You’ve heard good and bad things about the girl, but you didn’t know her yourself personally, so you didn’t really have your own opinion on her. You looked away from the board scanning the room to find y’all seats, only to see the muscular girl on her phone, paying no attention to her surroundings. You sat next to her feeling really awkward, especially since she didn’t even look up at you to acknowledge your presence. 

As the bell rings, your teacher starts to explain the reason why she has y’all in assign seats. Your seatmate is your assigned partner for any class work y’all have if it requires it and completing the study guides with each other, since the curriculum cannot be fully covered in class,  you and your partner are responsible for teaching it among yourselves. You quietly celebrate in your head, relieved from the awkwardness from having to find your own partner. However, that relief is short-lived as your partner, Abby, raises her hand up, drawing the teacher’s attention. “Is there an issue, Ms. Anderson?” Your teacher asks as she views her clipboard to make sure she addressed the girl's name correctly. “Are we allowed to request a new partner?”, right then and there, a surge of embarrassment washes over you completely. “Unfortunately no, In the real world you’re gonna have to work with people you don’t want to or don’t know, so you need to get prepared for that starting now!”, your teacher firmly says. You catch a scoff and a muttered remark from Abby, being reluctant about working with you. Normally, you’d let shit slide, but today your mouth moves before you can stop. “Alright, now you’re doing entirely too fucking much, acting like I desperately wanna work with you or something.”, Abby turns her head to face you, giving you an insulting gaze before opening her obnoxious ass mouth to speak again. “Not my fault you look like an insufferable person, I personally don’t wanna work with someone who’s gonna cause me headaches.”, as she continued to speak, the more agitated you were getting, how is she gonna label you as an insufferable person when she doesn’t even fucking know shit about you?? Fuming with frustration, you're about to respond when the teacher intervenes, “Alright ladies, calm down. I don’t need any of that happening in my class, if y’all have problems with each other y’all can solve that on your own time. Anyways back to what I said previously...” As the tension eases, your teacher returns to her lesson, though the uneasy atmosphere lingers in the air. Throughout the remainder of class, your mind could only focus on the things Abby said, unable to shake the irritation she caused. 

part 02. ??

Taglist:

@elliesactualgirlfriend @desireesfics

[celestial-toys]

That I Would Be Good [1/5]

How to Help

You take note of the two people on this couch with you. These innocent lives you brought into this awful world, with no thought given to the consequences. Stereotyped them down into boxes and expected a perfect fit—naive enough to think you could bring a fantasy to life.

You really want to apologize for falling into the business of playing God.

- - - - - - -

In This Chapter

Moon attempts to care for you as you do a little bedrotting.

The boys debate over taste in entertainment as you cry over work stress.

Much to Sun's chagrin though it all may be, you're saved from a potential night spent sleeping with your dog on the cold, hard hallway floor.

Pairing: Sun x Moon x Reader

Word Count: 5,174

Contains: [AU - Real World] [depiction of depression] [crying] [arguing] [an episode of vertigo] [tension] [fear]

A/Ns: This is a songfic. Lyrics and title are from 'That I Would Be Good' by Alanis Morissette.

This fic is part of my AU “[Not] Made by Design”, the full series can be found here.

Lastly but certainly not least, this fic is dedicated to my friend Adrianna @roses-and-tears, whom I’ve been teasing with the existence of this fic for far too long. Thank you for your patience as I took my sweet time on this, and thank you for your patience with me in general. Your friendship means a lot to me, as does your endless support of my writing. I’m really grateful to have you in my life. Happy Birthday, Adri. 💛

That I would be good even if I did nothing.

Late afternoon sunlight slips through the slim crack between the drawn curtains covering your balcony doors. Over the past hours you’ve absently watched it grow from a bright yellow at noon to a vibrant orange now, the thin line cast across your bedsheets growing longer as the sun slips lower and lower. It serves as the only illumination in the room, all of your various lights and screens turned off in an effort to pretend that it’s an acceptable hour to be miserably curled up in bed, ignoring the world.

The occasional soft, muffled sounds of various housework being done by your—rightfully concerned, you suppose, yet surprisingly concerned, if you’re being honest—partners prevents you from ignoring the entire world, though. The subtle reminder that they’re here with you, that the house isn’t really empty, serves as a comfort that you aren’t sure you deserve. A small part of you wishes you truly were alone again, so at least you’d have a good reason to feel this way. You’d certainly feel less guilty about it too.

To their credit, they’ve handled this episode pretty well. Giving you space when you request it and proximity when you need it. Checking in on you. Keeping you clean, hydrated, and fed to the best of their ability in spite of your reluctance.

You just wish you could pull yourself out of this already.

You have work to do.

The mere thought of all that you’ve fallen behind on has you reaching up, grabbing at the corners of your pillow and tugging them down over your ears, eyes pinching closed in desperate avoidance.

Through the pillow you barely pick up on the muffled sound of soft knocking at your door.

You sigh, and manage a weak acknowledgment. “Yeah?”

Moon’s low voice rumbles through the barrier. “May I come in?”

You cough, clearing your parched throat. “...Yeah.”

The door swings open slowly and you squint, expecting the sting of the bright hallway light to hit, but it never does. You crack an eye open, releasing your hold on the pillow and tilting your head to watch him enter.

Your voice comes out more aggravated than you intend it to sound. “We got a bulb out in the hallway or something?”

Moon pauses halfway through closing the door behind him, his monitor swiveling around to face you. “Hmm?”

You clarify. “The light’s off out there.”

Understanding straightens the scrunched lines on his display that serve as his eyebrows. “Oh, no. The lights are fine, I just…” His monitor swings back around to align with his body as he gently pushes the door closed. “I’ve gathered that it hurts your eyes.”

The door quietly clicks shut and the light of his screen dims, adjusting its brightness to match that of the room. “The contrast, I mean. It being so bright out there when the bedroom is… so dark.”

A look, half-guilt and half-apology tugs at your features as you watch him approach the bed. “I’m sorry…”

His monitor clicks about 20 degrees to the right. “What for?”

His question is spoken so softly, so gently, and if you didn’t know better you’d almost believe that he really can’t think of anything you’d have to apologize to him for.

You know that couldn’t be further from the truth, though.

You’re about to acknowledge his ironic disdain for the darkness, but as you watch him reach down and experimentally lift the still-full bottle of water he refilled for you some odd hours ago, you pause. As his neutral expression curls into a small frown, you realize you should apologize for that, too. Your mind quickly offers up more and more things that you should apologize for, and within seconds your eyes are welling up with tears.

“Everything…” you say as you blink, letting them roll along your temples and—annoyingly—into one of your ears.

His monitor turns halfway toward you, but his false eyes don’t follow the motion, still locked on the bottle of water he’s thoughtfully swirling in his hand. His real eye must take in the state of you though, either that or his mics picked up on the emotion in your voice, because he passes the bottle into his left hand before turning and gesturing down toward the mattress with his right. “May I sit next to you?”

You nod, knowing he can see the motion even in the dim light, and you shift a bit from your dent in the mattress for the first time in… well, probably since Sun poked his proverbial nose in here an hour or two ago to make sure you were still breathing. Begrudgingly, you haul yourself up into a somewhat-vertical position, knowing if you don’t do it now Moon will coax you into it soon anyways. You pull your long sleeve down over your hand and use it to wipe at a few wet tear tracks.

Moon settles himself down on the mattress next to you, gently helping to pull away the sheets just enough to free you from your blanket prison as you halfheartedly reposition yourself. He rests the bottle on his left knee, monitor turning toward his right to face you.

“I don’t think that’s necessary. I think… a lot of the things you apologize for don’t even need one in the first place, and as for the things that do need one… well, you’ve already given them and I— …we’ve already accepted them.”

You sigh. “I wish it were easier for me to believe you.”

His tone has an edge of resignation, or… defeat, in it when he replies. “...So do I, star.”

His simulated breath deepens a bit and in the quiet of the room you hear his cooling system kick down a notch due to his shift into physical inactivity. He passes the water bottle into his right hand, his gaze flicking down toward it and then up to you. “Can you take a sip of this for me, please?”

Now that you’ve actually tried to speak and realized how… gross your mouth feels, you take it from him without reluctance and take not one but several sips, greedily downing it as your body finally recognises its thirst.

Settling the bottle in your lap, you shake your head a bit at his offered hand. “I’ll hold onto it for now… thank you.”

You steal another glance up at his monitor and see a small, unexpected smile and kind crescent eyes. “Of course.”

As his hands fold neatly in his lap, you question him. “Is Sun mad at me?”

His expression fades back into one of concerned confusion. “Why do you think that?”

You shrug and take another sip of your water, downplaying your explanation. “…Dunno. Just feels like that sometimes.” You think for a moment. “I wouldn’t blame him for it if he was. Wouldn’t blame you either.”

Moon’s display swivels side to side on its axis, shaking his head in disagreement. “I don’t think he is. I mean… you know Sun. He’s cold. Not as much as he once was, but still colder than I am, at least. Distant. Quiet. But… I don’t believe that he’s mad.”

He shifts, leaning back against the headboard and stretching his legs out across the length of the bed, crossing them as he releases an imitation of a breath. Angling his screen back toward you, he whispers, “You wanna know what I think?”

You nod, eyes widening in curiosity.

“I think he’s just as worried about you as I am. He just doesn’t know how to show it, or what to even do with such an emotion in the first place.”

You frown, your mind automatically finding yourself at fault. “I—I did my best to train your AIs identically… I don’t—I don’t know what happened with his emotional processing—”

Moon cuts you off, redirecting your attention with a gentle hand on your arm. “That’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean to blame you. AIs…” his voice and expression both turn playful, “…we’re a dangerous thing. You never truly know how we’re gonna turn out.” He nudges your shoulder with his, and you fight back a tiny laugh.

A comfortable sort of silence falls over the dark room, and you break it with one more quiet question. “…What’s he doing right now?”

“Same thing as Zero is, actually. Sleeping.”

His features dissipate, display changing as he pulls up an image he’d apparently taken of the dog and the bot sprawled across the couch. You huff a laugh at the sight of the two of them attempting to fit together.

“He told me he was up all night, but wouldn’t elaborate on why. So I wasn’t very shocked when he crashed in the living room and asked me to bring him his cable earlier.”

You sigh and look away, half-amused and half-stressed. The image fades, Moon’s default expression taking its place. You take another swig from your bottle before leaning back and to your left, the pillow behind you sliding along the headboard until you’re pressed against Moon’s side. “I wish he wouldn’t strain his battery like that. Gonna have to bring him in for a premature replacement at this rate.”

Moon nods, humming a quiet concurrence as he raises an arm, carefully wrapping it around your shoulders, your silent request for comfort heard loud and clear.

---------------------------

Neither of you ever got an answer as to what had kept Sun up that night. But, if you’d been able to look inside his mind and see his most recent activity, you’d have found a messy assortment of browser tabs, each one’s title containing the keywords “depression” and “how to help.”

That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down.

You’re settled atop Sun’s lap on your too-small couch, back comfortingly pressed against his chest, legs stretching out across the cushions to rest on Moon’s thighs. He’s the only one out of the three of you that’s actually sitting on the couch properly, Sun instead opting for his usual lengthwise position, one arm draped along the back of the couch and the other wrapped around your waist.

One advantage of his mechanical body is that he can keep his head twisted 90 degrees to the left, facing the TV for as long as he’d like and never know the pain of a sore neck.

He seems just as invested in what’s on the TV as Moon is, and if the repetitive shifts in lighting and audio are anything to go by, you’re willing to bet they’re having another silent argument over what to watch. Too absorbed in the game on your phone to be bothered by the inconsistent ambiance, you brush aside the stray thought to remind them that they could each just watch their own show in their HUDs instead of fighting over the big screen. Their strange insistence on adhering to the “human” way of doing things is something for you to psychoanalyze another time.

You half-listen to the TV as it switches back and forth between what sounds like BBC Earth, and The (ironically named) Learning Channel, taking note of the way Sun’s body warms. His cooling system audibly kicks in, and the creator in you takes immediate notice, the attention to your phone waning as your concern over Sun’s internal temperature rises.

You pause your game, pulling in a breath as you prepare to interject on whatever silent argument is getting him so heated, but they beat you to the punch, their internal exchange suddenly becoming external.

“—Because we’ve seen it before! I already know everything I could possibly need to know about crabs!” Moon’s voice cuts through the background noise and you flinch a bit at its sudden volume.

Sun’s curled fingers splay out flat across your stomach, apparently trying to calm you and argue with Moon at the same time. “It’s not about knowledge! It’s about the implications! The metaphor!”

Moon’s monitor pivots away from the TV and over to Sun, his volume lowering a bit as his optics pass over your form curled against Sun. “What implications?”

You twist around a bit to get a glance at the screen when the narrator says something that catches your ear.

“Our spy becomes the crab's defender.”

The three of you turn and watch as a robotic imitation of a crab serves as a mechanical wall of defense between a vulnerable, soft shelled crab and a hungry stingray.

You feel Sun’s arm tighten around you.

Confused and unimpressed, Moon turns back toward his solar counterpart. “Mhm, that’s lovely, Sun, but what does it have to do with us?”

Sun’s volume drops as you feel his body mimic a sigh. “More than your stupid ‘Thousand Coupons and Counting’ show does, that’s for sure…”

You feel your phone buzz in your hand, the darkened screen lighting up once again and drawing your attention away from Moon’s rebuttal.

“Oh, come on, that’s not even the name...”

Their petty quarrel quickly becomes background noise as your focus zeroes in on the message preview in your notifications.

[ Hey, sorry to bother you at such an hour, but I finally had time to relay your most recent proposed alterations to the client’s requested design… ]

Your stomach drops as you tap to open the message and are met with a bullet point list of complaints and questions relayed from the client through one of your colleagues. You’re grateful that your team has a dedicated customer relations department because if you had to communicate with this particular client directly, you may be out of a job.

Your mood quickly grows sour and defeated as you scan over the list of criticisms, your colleague’s addition of a sympathetic [😕] at the end of their message doing little to soften the blow. You’ve spent countless hours trying to find work-arounds and alternatives to this client's unrealistic requests, the head of your team insistent that you find a way to please them lest you cost the company a “substantial potential profit.”

Clenching your jaw, you fight to keep a level head. You fight the urge to type out a hasty response, one you know would be full of childish, whining complaints about the inconvenient timing and the client’s unrealistic demands. You then fight the subsequent urge to just turn your phone off, and maybe hurl it through a window for good measure.

“Why would we need to know that? When will we ever need to afford fifteen 2-liters of Mountain Dew and ten jugs of Tide on a tight budget?! Who shops like that?!” Sun’s rapidly rising voice is enough to finally break through your swirling thoughts. The sound of your boys arguing, as ridiculous as the topic may be, only adds fuel to your emotional fire.

You fight the urge to cry, and you fail.

Clicking your phone screen off, you curl further in on yourself and press your temple against the back cushion of the couch. Moon’s voice dies down halfway through his retort, his attention quickly drawn to your sudden display of emotion. Sun’s focus falls on you at the same time, his sensors instantly picking up on the shift in your breathing and increase in your heart rate.

Moon’s body shifts, turning toward you and leaning closer as the hand he’d had resting on your knee begins to pet up and down the length of your shin in a gentle bid for your attention.

Sun aggressively whispers to Moon as the hand he’d had resting on the back of the couch comes down to hover anxiously over your head. “You idiot, look what you did!”

Moon mirrors his hushed tone. “What I did? You’re the one being unreasonable!”

You shake your head and clear your throat before cutting in. “This isn’t… about that.”

Sun’s hand comes down to awkwardly pet down your hair as you lean away from where you’d head-butted the couch cushion. “What… is this about then? What upset you?”

You turn your head, pressing your chin against your shoulder to dry the tears that had trailed down and converged there. You internally debate over how to explain yourself before giving up shortly after, opting instead to silently pull the message back up on your phone and hand the thing to Sun for him to read.

He takes in the message’s contents with typical robotic speed before handing the phone over to Moon, an unreadable expression on his display. Moon scrolls back up, reading the list of complaints and releasing a sigh as he hands the phone back to you. “They’re being unreasonable.”

You nod in agreement, releasing a sigh of your own. “Can’t tell ‘em that, though.”

Your words hang in the air as a contemplative silence falls over the room, and it’s then that you idly note that one of them must have muted the TV at some point. With their debate over taste in entertainment quickly drawn to a close, you suddenly feel guilty. “I’m sorry…”

“What for?” Sun’s voice questions over your shoulder.

“Ruining another evening…”

Moon scoffs, his retort lighthearted with a dose of rare sarcasm. “Oh, of course! How dare you interrupt our ‘important’ television debate with your silly little real-world problems.”

You glance at him, cracking a small smile, but it doesn’t last. Sighing, you lean further back into Sun, letting your head fall back until it’s resting on his shoulder. From the corner of your periphery, you see his head pull back and tilt down to get a better look at you.

“It’s not even just this one client, it’s… I mean- it is, but… fighting over what is and isn’t possible… nowadays it just reminds me of how I fought with the team over your designs. Reminds me of all the ways that I let you down. All the ways I failed you.”

You watch a frown form on Moon’s display, and you’re about to apologize for dredging up the past again, but Sun’s hands are quick to distract you. Reaching down and around you, he takes the phone from your hand, moving slowly enough to give you time to resist his attempts should you choose to. Meeting no resistance, he cradles the phone in your lap, and watching over your shoulder, opens the message once again and begins typing out a response.

[ Please remind them that while we are always eager to please, there are certain limitations to what sorts of ideas we can bring to life. Link them to our Product Design FAQ page if you haven’t already. I’ll review their comments and look into potential alterations first thing Monday morning, when our business hours resume. Thank you. ]

Moon’s curiosity got the best of him, leaning across the length of the couch to get an upside-down look at the phone screen. Rotating his faceplate 180 degrees, he hums in approval before leaning back, head slowly completing a 360 and righting itself once again.

Sun’s thumbs pull away from the keyboard and he requests your approval in a low voice. “That sound good?”

You want to ask him why he’s helping you. You want to ask Moon why he isn’t mad. You want to ask them why you’re even still employed, why you even deserve the job you’re apparently so bad at. You want to apologize for everything under the sun.

You take note of the two people on this couch with you. These innocent lives you brought into this awful world, with no thought given to the consequences. Stereotyped them down into boxes and expected a perfect fit—naive enough to think you could bring a fantasy to life.

You really want to apologize for falling into the business of playing God.

But you don’t. You re-read the message and let out a soft, resigned sigh, nodding. “Better than any response I’d be able to come up with tonight. Thank you.”

You raise a hand, tapping the send button, and then watch as Sun puts your phone on do not disturb before clicking it off once more. You point to the coffee table and he places it there, and Moon reaches for the TV remote at the same time. As you quietly readjust yourself in Sun’s hold, Moon offers you the remote with a soft question. “What would you like to watch?”

That I would be good if I got and stayed sick.

Flicking the light off, you make your way out of the bathroom and down the hall. Zero trails directly behind you, the dog insistent as always that you be accompanied on the long, arduous journey from the bedroom to the bathroom and back.

Perhaps, this time she could sense something that you couldn’t, because no more than a few steps into your short trip back, something quickly begins to feel… off. Closing your eyes and coming to a halt in the middle of the hall, you feel your stomach drop as you register the dreaded, familiar feeling of the world starting to spin around you.

Attempting a deep breath, you open your eyes and immediately regret it, disoriented and beginning to grow a bit panicked at how quickly this came over you. Muttering a soft “fuck… not again…” you reach out, placing a hand on the wall in an attempt to steady yourself. You try to at least make it back to the bedroom, but a terribly familiar hint of nausea makes itself known, and you suddenly aren’t sure if you should try for the bedroom or the bathroom.

Your body ends up deciding for you, a wave of lightheadedness teaming up with the dizzying sensation and quickly convincing you that taking a seat right where you are isn’t such a bad idea. As you slowly slide down the wall, butt thumping against the floor, you shakily call out. “Guys?”

Within five seconds, two round screens with wide digital eyes peek out from the bedroom’s open doorway. Stumbling over one another to get out of the room as soon as they see you on the floor, they question you in tandem. “What happened?!”

Clearing the short distance in a few strides to reach you, they both crouch down, one on each of your sides, Zero nervously pacing back and forth between them.

“I… I don’t know. It just hit me again out of nowhere.”

Moon’s faceplate clicks back and forth rapidly, a few degrees to the right, then a few degrees to the left. You close your eyes again, unable to look at him for long. You don’t have it in you to tell him that the motion itself is a dizzying sight. Sun seems to gather as much from his quiet observation, reaching out and roughly pinching the edge of Moon’s display, bringing the lunar bot’s anxious fidgeting to an abrupt halt.

“Vertigo?” Sun wastes no time in getting straight to the point, as usual.

You press your head back against the wall with a quiet groan. “Uhuh.”

“Can you tell us what—exactly—you’re feeling right now?” Moon questions you softly as he subtly struggles to pry Sun’s iron grip off of his head.

“Uhh… dizzy… lightheaded… getting kinda nauseous…”

Sun’s hand gravitates toward its favorite spot—that being around your neck—and since you don��t see it coming, you flinch.

He sighs, thumb finding its home on your pulse. “…It’s just me. You should know by now that I’m not gonna hurt you.”

You huff a humorless laugh in spite of your current state. “Yeah, well, I should know a lotta things by now.”

Sun doesn’t humor you with a snarky response, too focused on the current matter at hand. “Your pulse is pounding. Fast.” He’s quiet for a beat before tacking on a question. “Do you not feel it?”

You scoff. “Of course I do, Sun. I’m just used to it. It’s just doing that ‘cause I’m…” you hesitate, but honesty slips out of you rather easily in this state, “...scared.”

Concern seeps into his voice. “Of me?”

This time there’s a bit of humor in the laugh that he draws out of you. “No, Sunny… not you. Not this time.” You press the heels of your hands into the floor, searching for something grounding. “...It’s this. I’m scared of this. Whatever’s happening to me.”

Moon chimes in. “It’s gonna pass. It always does.” He places a hand on your knee. “And we’re right here. Gonna help you through it, just like always.”

You dare to crack your eyes open again, and find his screen blessedly still, light dim. “Still scares me though… don’t know why it’s happening.”

Sun retracts his hand from your neck. “We’ll figure it out. First priority is getting you situated somewhere more suitable. Do you want to go back to bed?”

You mull it over, wishing your nausea would decide to either get worse or get gone already so you could make up your mind. “I… wanna get back in bed, but… I don’t know if this nausea is gonna get worse or not.”

Sun almost shakes his head, but stops just short of it, not wanting to mirror Moon and make things worse. “You know we have a bucket dedicated to solving that very problem, so you can cross that off of your list of concerns. Besides, if it gets worse and you change your mind, we can always take you to the bathroom, easily.”

Sighing, you allow his reasoning to override your anxious, indecisive mind. “Yeah… okay. That’s fine by me, as long as you’re sure you don’t mind.”

Moon answers for both of them. “Of course we don’t.”

Sun leans back on his heels. “If that was the only thing keeping you, then why don’t we move this to the bedroom?”

In spite of your current state, you can’t help but crack a smile, unable to resist the opportunity to tease him. “Goodness, Mr. Sun. Too eager to even buy me dinner first?”

It takes the solar bot a moment to process the implications of your words, but the way the concerned expression on his face swaps to an empty black screen is enough to tell you that he got the joke—and that perhaps—he didn’t like it.

His voice comes out deadpan as he suddenly stands, distancing himself from you in more ways than one. “Ha-ha, very funny. If you’re feeling well enough to joke around then perhaps you don’t need my help after all.”

Moon grabs ahold of Sun’s ankle as he attempts to walk away, mirroring the iron grip the solar bot had recently had on him. “Come on, Sunny, don’t be like that…”

Sun gives a sharp tug on his leg, but Moon’s grip doesn’t relent. Even without a face nor a voice, you can still sense him silently telling Moon to not test him. You know better than almost anybody that their physical strength is perfectly matched to one another. They could stay locked in a stalemate until their batteries died if either of them truly desired it.

As amusing as it may be to push Sun’s buttons, even you know when something’s about to go too far, so you make the call to break it up. “Ah, let him go, Moon. He’s put up with enough of my shit for one night.”

Moon releases his counterpart, and Sun mutters a quiet “That’s right.” beneath his breath, striding back into the bedroom.

Zero yawns into a whine.

You shakily reach a hand up to pet her and she bends down, slipping her head beneath it. Your voice is something close to jaded when you address the quiet lunar automaton still crouched beside you. “Well, now that I’ve successfully put everyone in a bad mood, I suppose it’s time for bed, huh?”

He’s his usual understanding self when he replies. “I know it wasn’t intentional, star.”

“Yeah, but… I know he’s sensitive. Should really get around to repairing that brain-to-mouth filter of mine one of these days…” You trail off, making an effort to stand, and regret it quite quickly as the world starts to spin again.

Moon’s hands brace you instantly, and a soft request fills your ears as you clamp your eyes shut again. “Let me carry you instead?”

“...Please.”

“Of course.”

The three of you make your way back to bed, and in spite of Sun’s previous statement implying he wouldn’t help you, you notice the way the room is already prepared for you. Bed sheets straightened, pillows situated, lights dimmed as low as they can go. The movie you’d paused is no longer waiting on the TV screen, the device having been fully turned off, and you know that Sun must’ve read somewhere that bright, flashing, moving images on screens can make your symptoms worse. (Who’d’ve guessed.)

He slips back out of your closet as Moon places you down in the center of the mattress, your just-in-case bucket dangling from his hand. His hands settle on his hips after he places it down near the nightstand, still-blacked-out monitor swinging slowly, surveying the room.

“Last time this happened, crackers and water seemed to take the edge off. Would you like to try that again? Do you think you can stomach it?”

He doesn’t mention his (over)reaction in the hallway, and you elect to drop it too.

“I… yeah. Guess I’ll try anything that might help.”

He’s out of the door and off to the kitchen immediately, and back with both items in hand by the time Moon gets you both settled in bed. Moon holds your water and you take the crackers as Sun takes his seat on the other side of you, Zero curling up at your feet. Your shaky hands fiddle with the packaging for a moment before black and yellow segmented fingers hover over your own. You pause, and Sun makes quick, silent work of parting the wrapper. You offer up a quiet “...thanks…” that receives no verbal reply.

A few crackers and a quarter cup of water later, you’re relieved to find your symptoms beginning to ease. It’s no magical cure, but you feel more stable than you did on your own out in the hallway, where you honestly might’ve slept had you been left to your own devices.

Two of Moon’s fingers press against your inner wrist. “Hmm… better, but not back to baseline. Are you still scared?”

You’re quiet for a minute, trying to search for the source of your fear. “Scared… that this is gonna keep happening at random, forever.”

Moon is quick to reassure you. “I’m confident that we’ll work out the root cause of these episodes one day.”

You mumble defeatedly through a mouthful of chewed cracker. “I sure fuckin’ hope so.”

Of course, it’s only once you’re content to let silence fall over the room that Sun speaks.

“You don’t need to fear it regardless. Even if this is with you forever. Because…” he releases a sigh, full of reluctance, but finishes his sentence nonetheless, “...it’s not like we’re going anywhere either.”

A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I'll be back tomorrow with part 2! You can also find my notes and commentary on this fic right here on Ao3. Links to the playlist and moodboard for [N]MbD can be found on this blog’s pinned post, as well as in the series notes on Ao3. Header Image Sources: x - x - x

[lambtotheslaughterr]

Rise : Chapter Fourteen

A Rafe Cameron Series

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 5.7k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

CHAPTER THIRTEEN | MASTERLIST | CHAPTER FIFTEEN

            The door opened with a moan, & you rose to a sitting position, preparing for Adrianna to bring you your breakfast. You were glad you were given a couple days to recoup after the latest move. Everything was a blur. All you remembered was being sick, completely out of it, & never fully aware of your surroundings. But thanks to Adrianna, you managed to get better again. And now you could finally pull your own weight at the mill.

            But when you looked up to greet Adrianna, it wasn’t her dark brown eyes you met.

            Rafe stood in front of the closed door, his arms crossed as he peered at you. You felt like a fish out of water, like you were a strange sight to see. Adrianna insisted on you being separated from the others for some time in case your sickness was caused by the virus, but once you had improved she let you mingle with the others. But you had never seen Rafe in that time. He must’ve been busy running the place as best as he could in the end of world times.

            You brought your knees closer to your chest, resting your chin on them before you finally spoke.

            “Hey.” Your voice was hoarse, not having used it much, but you hoped the timid smile on your face revealed your welcomeness to his presence.

            Rafe frowned, his brows creasing & causing the skin there to crinkle. He stared at you longer, making you shift under his gaze.

            “Are you okay?” You questioned. He did look tired.

            “Are you?” He returned.

            You shrugged, rubbing your arms, “Better, at least.”

            Rafe moved further into the room until he was standing across from you. Your bed was a mattress on a pallet, so he towered over you with his staggering height. But you didn’t mind. You just wanted to stop looking at you with that worrisome look on his face.

            “I’m okay, Rafe.”

            His lips parted, as if he was trying to understand something that couldn’t be deciphered.

            “Are you?” You asked again, concerned about his unchanging gaze.

            “Yeah.” He cleared his throat, repeating himself to sound more stabilized.

            You nodded, but said nothing more. Was he here to bring you to the mess hall? You knew your way around enough, you didn’t need someone to hold your hand anymore. However, you couldn’t deny being somewhat relieved to see him, to have him here.

            “You didn’t bring food. Are we going there?” You asked, changing topic. Your stomach was growling with hunger.

            Rafe inhaled sharply, finally snapping out whatever funk he was in upon seeing you.

            “In a bit, yeah. I wanted to talk to you first.”

            Rafe moved closer then. You scooted over to make room on your full size mattress so he could sit with you. As he did, his eyes never left yours, & yours never left his. This was someone you were comfortable with. Rafe always looked out for you.

            “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked again, & you felt mildly irritated at that, like he was coddling you. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, “Will you quit asking me that, please? I’m okay.”

            Silence filled the small room for a moment as Rafe seemed to think quietly to himself. You hoped he would hurry up with what he wanted to talk about so you could go eat before everyone else got the majority of it.

            “Do you remember anything?” Now it was your turn to be confused. Remember anything?

            Frowning, you stared at him, “Like what?”

            Rafe swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving swiftly under the skin of his throat, “Before coming here.”

            You paused to think. You remembered the lakehouse. Millie. The group separating. And then your head started to hurt. You winced, like you felt a headache coming on. Why was Rafe asking you this?

            “Adrianna said I’ve been sick for a while. It’s hard to remember.”

            Rafe looked like he wanted to say something, but stopped himself from doing so.

            “Why, Rafe?”

            He sniffled, pressing his lips together as he fell into deep thought. When he finally looked at you again, you were concerned about the look in his eyes.

            “Sayyed?”

            You felt your heart stop for a moment at the sound of your boyfriend’s name. Adrianna had told you what happened. That the virus came for him & Nuha too fast, that there was nothing to be done. You had a vague memory of Sayyed telling you he loved you, but you couldn’t be sure. It felt more like a dream than anything.

            “Adrianna reminded me.” Your voice softened, almost to a whisper. You wished you could cry over his death, over not being able to say goodbye, or at least remember it.

            “She…reminded you?”

            You looked away to stare at your feet, “The virus. I don’t remember a lot, Rafe. My memory is kind of foggy. She said that would be normal for a while.”

            He inhaled sharply again, drawing your eyes back to him. He looked conflicted.

            “What is it?” You asked.

            Rafe forced a smile then, shaking his head,, “Nothing. I’m just glad you’re better,”

            You returned the smile, though it was small, “Me too.”

            “Let’s, uh, let’s get some food, alright?” Rafe stood up, offering you his hand, & you took it, letting him help you raise yourself to your feet.

            In that moment, Rafe took a moment to look you over from head to toe. You felt like he was still studying you. But when his eyes fell to your legs, an amused smirk appeared on his face, “I can’t believe you packed these.”

            You looked down, addressing the clothes you wore. You gave a small laugh yourself, “I’d never get rid of these.”

            Rafe nodded, “I think that’s good. A reminder of happier times, huh?”

            You met his eyes, nodding, “Something like that.”

            Rafe left you at a table with Kai, Vic, & Maddy as he sought Anna out. He didn’t get far before she entered the mess hall herself at the farther end. Anna took in Rafe’s subtle look of rage as he grabbed her elbow & moved her to the hallway.

            “What the fuck is wrong with her?” He hissed, making sure his voice was low & voices carried far & quickly in the spacious room.

            Anna pulled her arm from his grip, rubbing the spot that he grabbed so harshly before answering him, “What? She’s fine.”

            “You know what the fuck I’m talking about. She doesn’t remember anything!”

            “So?” Anna bit back, glaring up at him, “Isn’t that a good thing?”

            Rafe was angry, but he stopped in his verbal assault to reflect.

            “Or would you rather she remember that you made her kill Sayyed?”

            His nostrils flared still as his anger began to simmer down.

            “I thought you’d be jumping with joy.” Anna added in a sarcastic tone, “But if you want her to know the truth then be my guest.”

            “No.” Rafe shook his head, “She said that you told her she would remember in time about everything.”

            Anna sighed, shrugging, “I don’t know. Like I said before, I’m not a psychologist. I took a class or two, so I know what she’s experiencing right now, kind of, but as far as if she’ll her memory of everything will return, I don’t know.”

            “What she’s experiencing?”

            Anna nodded, “Amnesia, obviously. Dissociative or selective, doesn’t really matter which, they both do the same thing.”

            “Which is?”

            She sighed heavily, clearly bothered that she had to explain the basics to Rafe, “After a traumatic event the brain will shut down, protect its host from the memories that caused the trauma. She doesn’t remember anything because her brain won’t let her. And I think that’s for the best, at least for you, isn’t it?”

            Rafe stared at Anna, “But only for some time?”

            “I. Don’t. Know.” She enunciated, “Could return tomorrow, next week, or never again. There’s no saying.”

            “If she remembers…” Rafe didn’t want to think about it.

            “Then you’re a dead man.” Anna said jokingly, but Rafe didn’t view it as a joke.

            If you remembered what he’s done, he would lose you all over again, & he was positive there would be no containing you then.

            It felt nice to be part of the group again. You had blurred memories of the time when the group was split, but you had an inkling that it wasn’t an enjoyable time. When you had seen Bear for the first time two days prior, you gave him a hug that would rival his nickname. He returned it with fervor, claiming he was glad you were okay.

            Now, he was nowhere to be seen.

            “Where’s Bear?” You asked Kai, who jumped slightly at the sound of your voice as he cleared his plate of food.

            “Um, I think out scavenging.” One thing that bothered you though since rejoining the group was that Kai never looked you in the eye. He kept his head down often & avoided a lot of talk with the others.

            “Hmm.” You hummed. At the far end of the mess hall, Rafe appeared, Adrianna right behind him. You left your food behind on the table & approached him.

            “Everything okay?” He asked, his tone full of worry. You were grateful for his older brother like attitude, but you hoped he knew you could take care of yourself again.

            “I want to be a part of the scavenging group.” Your eyes flashed between his & Adrianna’s.

            Rafe inhaled sharply at that. He gestured for Adrianna to leave the two of you & she did. You frowned, looking back at him, “What’s wrong?”

            “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He admitted.

            “What? Why? I was the best back at the lake house. We both were.” You reminded him.

            “I know, but ya know, things change. Micah is in charge of scavenging now.”

            “So, I’ll join him.” Little did you know how much Rafe pitied you. So innocently unaware of Micah’s hatred towards you. If Rafe allowed you to go out with Micah, there was no guarantee you’d come back.

            “No, _____. We need you here. You’re good in the garden with Maddy.”

            You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest, “Bullshit. I was never good at that. That was Millie’s thing.” At the mention of your deceased best friend’s name, you felt your defiance lower.

            “I want to scavenge.”

            “No.” Rafe replied with finality. “If you don’t want to garden, fine. We’ll find something else for you.”

            “I’ll be fine, Rafe. I know you’re always looking out for me, but I can take care of myself.”

            He looked troubled, almost…sad.

            Stepping closer, he kept his voice low. He brought the palms of his hands to your upper arms, not quite touching you, but grazing the skin there, “I can’t lose you again.”

            You peered up at him, your heart beating faster. Why was he looking at you like that?

            “You won’t.” Your voice was barely audible. But Rafe shook his head anyway, “I won’t risk it, I’m sorry.”

            With that, Rafe stepped back, his voice at normal level again, “Work with Maddy today, we’ll find something new for you tomorrow.”

            Then he left you standing there. Begrudgingly, you returned to the table. Maddy, one of the new people, grinned up at you.

            “I’m with you today.” Your tone wasn’t a happy one but that didn’t deter her bashful attitude.

            “At least you’ll get more sun.”

            Yeah, you thought to yourself, at least.

            It was nighttime, & you were helping one of the other new people, Barry, clean up the mess hall from dinner. You were about finished & ready to head back to your room when Rafe appeared.

            “You got the rest covered, Barry?” He asked & Barry nodded.

            “Great.” Rafe looked to you then, offering his hand, “Let’s get you to bed.”

            There it was again, the coddling. Sighing annoyingly, uncaring if it was obvious, you bypassed his hand & stalked towards the hallway. Once in the hallway, Rafe caught up to you, “What’s wrong?”

            “You’re babying me. I hate it. I wish you would stop.”

            “I’m not babying you.” He argued, his voice defensive.

            “No?” You stopped in your tracks to glare at him, “Keeping me from what I do best? Putting me to bed, Rafe? I mean, god, come on.”

            “I just don’t want you to push yourself.”

            Though you understood the sentiment, you wished he would let it go. You were stronger & better than that.

            “I’ll be fine. You’d know that if you’d let me do my own thing.”

            “Doing your own thing is what got you sick in the first place.” Rafe finally seethed, “I won’t apologize for looking out for you. And I won’t stop either, so get used to it.”

            Then he walked ahead of you. You stood there for a second longer, watching as he grew further away from you. You felt conflicted. You knew he only meant well, but you couldn’t help your need for independence. But you had to admit to yourself if roles were reversed, you would look out for him in the same way.

            “Rafe, wait.” You jogged up to him, gently touching his elbow with the tips of your fingers, “I’m sorry, okay? You’re right. I wouldn’t have survived if not for you. I guess I just want to do more for the group than just have my hands buried in dirt all day.”

            Rafe’s gaze softened at that, but he nodded, “I know. Like I said, we’ll find something else for you. I promise.”

            The two of you traded a smile before you started walking again. You were following blindly alongside him, not really paying attention to where he was leading you until the two of you stopped just outside a door you didn’t recognize.

            “I thought you were taking me to my room.”

            Rafe looked between you & the door, “I am.”

            Then he opened the door wide enough for you to enter. You peered inside first, taking in the larger size than your own bedroom. There was a bed against the left wall—a real one with a frame & everything—& a window straight ahead. It was dusty & musty but clean for the most part. But you couldn’t help the frown on your face, “I don’t understand.”

            “It’s our room.” He revealed.

            Your eyes rounded, staring at him appallingly, “Our room?”

            Rafe let out a shaky breath as he looked you over, “You don’t remember a lot…”

            You felt your brows cinch together, concerned about the tone in his voice.

            “You weren’t with Sayyed at the end. Not, ya know, with him, like before.”

            You felt your mouth fall open to ask but closed it. What was Rafe getting at?

            “You were with me.”

            What?

            An awkward, forced breath of air, that somewhat sounded like a startled laugh, left your mouth.

            “We’re together, _____. We have been for a while.”

            “No, what? That’s not…” Your head was beginning to hurt again as you struggled to comprehend what he was saying. Out of instinct, you backed away, but Rafe was quick to catch your hand, holding it desperately as if he was scared of you slipping away.

            “Anna’s not here to confirm for you, to help you ease into it. But I am.”

            You stared at him, distrustful. No. There was no way. You would never leave Sayyed, let alone for Rafe. Rafe was like a brother to you, you couldn’t…wouldn’t…

            “It’s why the group split.” Rafe told you, “Because Sayyed found out about us.”

            A shocked gasp left you, “No, no. I didn’t—”

            “You did, _____.” Rafe’s voice was soft but his grip on your hand firm, “In the woods. After Millie.”

            Tears kissed your eyes as you vaguely recalled something happening in the woods after Millie’s death. But the images were still blurred.

            “I’m sorry.” Rafe’s thumb rubbed the skin on your hand, “But it’s true. We’re together.”

            You stared past him, your eyes falling to the bed. You had slept with Rafe? Been sleeping with Rafe? It didn’t sound like you, it couldn’t be.

            A sob finally erupted from your throat as you felt deep down that what Rafe was telling you was true. You had cheated on Sayyed. With one of his best friends no less, with one of your own.

            “Oh, my god.” You covered your mouth with both your hands. You couldn’t fully remember the events happening, but you could remember the heartache of hurting the person you loved most.

            Rafe swallowed, stepping closer to you. As you cried into your hands, he wrapped you into a hug, his chin resting near the top of your head. He ran his hands in circles along your back, hoping to soothe you.

            “I swore I would protect you & I meant it. You may not remember but you know it’s true.” And you did. But still. This was the reality you were coming back to?

            Rafe pulled away just enough to grab your hands, to look you in the eye, “You’re my girl, _____. Mine. And I’ll be damned if I ever let another thing happen to you again.”

            It’d been a little over a week since you re-assimilated to the group. Bear, Micah, & the others were still gone in that time. But when they returned, you would be the first to find out. Rafe secured you a new position in the group. Sayyed’s old one.

            In an office on the ground floor that overlooked the gravel parking lot was a comm set-up. The computers were useless of course but there was a working satellite radio, & a few walkie talkies. It would be how you communicated with the scavenging group once they were within range & announcing their arrival. But while you waited for that call, you were constantly calling out to other survivors on the shortwave radio. In the week you had been doing that, there was nothing but white noise that responded. One time you heard a dead announcement about the end of times nearing, but it was on repeat. No one ever responded.

            It was about midday, & you were preparing to head upstairs to get lunch, when the sound of the walkie talkie crackled with a muffled voice.

            “Base, this is scavenger. We’re five miles out.”

            A grin ripped across your face at the sound of Micah’s voice. They would be here soon. You hadn’t seen Micah since rejoining the group, but with Rafe busy doing his other duties, this would be an opportune moment to talk to Micah about joining the scavengers. It wasn’t that you were ungrateful for Rafe getting you out of the garden, but you wanted more. Micah could give it to you. He was Rafe’s right hand after all.

            You responded over the walkie, “We hear you scavenger. Look forward to seeing you.”

            “Who is this?” Micah’s voice sounded, & it sounded displeased. He had always been so moody.

            “_____, Micah. It’s me.”

            There was no response. But you didn’t care. You were just happy to see two of your friends again.

            But the moment was ruined when the door behind you opened. You spun in your chair, finding Rafe standing in the doorway. There was a malicious look in his eyes.

            “What’s up?” You asked, suddenly feeling like you had been caught doing something you knew you weren’t supposed to be doing.

            “They’re almost here.”

            “Uh, yeah.” You glanced down at the walkie in your hand, “How’d you know?’

            Rafe reached into the backside of his jeans, revealing his own walkie.

            Of course, you thought to yourself.

            “But I can take care of it from here. I’ll help them unload & whatnot.”

            “No.” Rafe was quick to respond, shutting the offer down, “You’ll stay in here. I’ll help them.”

            “What? Why?” You felt yourself growing frustrated. Ever since he told you that you two were together, something you still struggled to get used to, he hadn’t let off of his protective side. In fact, it felt more heightened at points.

            “You get lunch, I’ll cover for you.”

            “No, Rafe.” You had had enough. It was one thing to get used to him against you at night, his body molding to yours as you fought to sleep at night, but it was an entirely other thing to boss you around like he owned you. “I can help. I will help.”

            “_____.” Rafe sighed, equally as frustrated as you.

            “Stop babying me, Rafe! Goddamnit!” You raised your voice, “Why don’t you trust me?”

            “It’s not that.” He groveled, his voice hard & low as he narrowed his eyes, “I just want you to eat.”

            “Bullshit.” You argued, standing up, “You promised me that you would help me. This isn’t helping & I’m not buying what you’re saying.”

            He stared at you silently, his lips rubbing against one another.

            “Do you trust me?” You asked.

            “Of course.” He replied without pause.

            “So, let me do this. Okay?”

            He looked past you, staring out into the gravel lot, contemplating your plea.

            “Fine.” He shook his head, “But we’re doing it together.”

            It wasn’t ideal, but you had learned quickly that Rafe wouldn’t compromise often. You had to get what you could.

            “Fine.”

            The two of you stared at one another momentarily before he stepped forward, his hand reaching for your face. You flinched just a little, but enough for him to notice. He frowned at that.

            “You still won’t let me touch you.”

            It was true. It was strange sharing a room, let alone a bed, with him. You loathed that you couldn’t recall your own memories, that losing Millie, Sayyed, & Nuha had fucked you up beyond repair. But the reality of you being with Rafe? It was still surreal to you. It didn’t sound right, feel right. But Rafe always looked at you with longing, like he missed you. You couldn’t feel the same. You still saw him as Rafe Cameron, coke fiend & BFF. It was hard to grasp that he was your boyfriend.

            “I just need time.” You told him, looking away to sit down. Rafe followed suit, dragging out a nearby chair by its legs before sitting beside you.

            “I know, I just…” His words fell short as he eyed you warily.

            “I know.” You reassured him that he didn’t need to voice it. You saw it clear as day in his eyes.

            “Any luck with the comms?” He questioned, nodding towards the radio.

            You shrugged, “No. Nothing. We might be the last of us.”

            “I wouldn’t mind that.” He said, but he was smiling in a joking manner. You didn’t share the sentiment.

            “As long as we’re together, right?” He asked, gripping your jean clad knee. Your muscles tensed beneath his touch, but you forced a smile anyway.

            “All of us, yeah.”

            Rafe was about to say something, his mouth opening, but the sound of gravel crunching caught both your ears. You turned in your chair to see Rafe’s truck pull into the lot.

            “They’re back!” You leaped from your seat, ready to race outside to greet Bear & Micah.

            Rafe beat you to the door though, & you noticed that he was purposefully walking slowly & using the width of his body to block you from surpassing him. You were forced to walk behind him. Like his dog. The thought made you cringe.

            Outside, you watched as Micah hopped out of the driver’s side. Matt & Robbie, you guessed, were in the bed of the truck & leaping over the sides. The passenger side opened then & Bear stepped out. You didn’t care about what Rafe wanted then. Pushing past him, you launched yourself towards Bear, enveloping his larger frame into a hug.

            “I’m so glad you’re back.” You spoke into his chest. He pulled you back then, looking you in the eye. You frowned when you saw his face. He had a black eye & split lip.

            “What happened?” Your voice rose with worry.

            Bear’s eyes flashed briefly to Micah who was rounding the front side of the truck. You followed his line of sight.

            “Micah, hey.” You offered a small smile.

            But Micah didn’t return it. He paused, staring at you bewildered. Then his expression changed to one of deep anger. It made your skin go cold. What was his problem?

            Without a greeting or smile back at you, Micah stomped towards Rafe. Rafe tossed you a concerned glance before he & Micah stepped inside.

            Turning back to Bear, you inspected his face, “What happened?”

            But Bear was looking at you that same way Micah had. He looked confused.

            “Are you okay?”

            You stepped back, surprised by his question. Why would he be asking you that?

            “I’m fine…” Your voice faded, “Why?”

            His eyes flashed over your head to the mill behind, likely looking for Rafe & Micah.

            “Why are you talking to him?”

            “Who? Micah?”

            Bear frowned.

            “Why wouldn’t I?” You questioned, but you felt hurt by the inclination. Had something happened between you & Micah?

            Before Bear could respond, you heard the sound of your name being called.

            “Go get lunch.” Rafe ordered, his voice hard as he walked towards you & Bear.

            “But—”

            “Just go. I got it from here.” Rafe wasn’t looking at you though, his eyes solely placed on Bear.

            You felt like you were caught in the middle of an unspoken battle between the two of them. What the hell happened?

            “It’s okay.” Bear voiced, making you look back at him. He nodded, faking a smile, but you saw right through it.

            “Make sure you see Adrianna.” You told him, to which he nodded in agreement.

            Backing away from the two, you glanced over your shoulder in curiosity as Rafe blocked Bear from your view to speak with him.

            Inside, Micah was nowhere to be found. You began making your way to the second floor to get yourself some food. But as you did, you felt your stomach swimming & your head growing dizzy.

            Something was wrong. You had felt it when you first came to a week or so ago, but as the days passed, you felt the inkling growing stronger. Rafe was lying to you, or at least keeping some truth from you. There was too much negative tension, too many bad feelings in the air for you to be fully in the loop. That would come to an end. You’d make sure of it. If Rafe wouldn’t tell you the truth, you’d find someone who would.

            It was shortly after dusk when you found yourself crawling into bed. Rafe had yet to return to the room, & you saw little of him since lunch. Same with Micah. Bear.

            You felt like they were being kept from you, or you them. Either way, you’d confront Rafe about it.

            For the next twenty minutes, you read a book: a collection of Irish literature that someone had found & stored away on a bookshelf in the mess hall. But as you read, the words weren’t registering. Your mind was too busy trying to fill in the holes of your memory. But the more you tried the more your head hurt.

            You were mindlessly reading the final paragraph of a short story when the door to the bedroom opened. Rafe stepped inside, spying you on the bed before smiling. You didn’t return it. Dog-earing the page you were on, you placed the book on the floor, pulling your knees to your chest as you watched Rafe get undressed. His back was to you as he slipped out of his flannel, t-shirt, & jeans before he finally made his way towards you.

            “Watcha’ reading?” He asked, peering over you to see if he could spot the book. You shook your head, “Nothing.”

            He hummed in response, groaning quietly to himself as he slid under the covers shirtless & in his boxers. Once he was comfortable, his read resting against a pillow against the wall, he smirked up at you.

            “You alright?”

            You narrowed your eyes, “You tell me.”

            Rafe crinkled his brows at that, “What’s wrong?”

            “Something.” You blatantly pointed out, “I don’t know what, but something.”

            He was silent, staring at you unblinkingly.

            “But you do.” You added, “And don’t deny it.”

            Rafe sighed, sitting forward, “Okay, what’s this about?”

            You glared at him, frustrated that he was playing dumb, “Don’t. Don’t fucking do that. Don’t respond like you don’t know what I’m talking about, you know exactly what I’m talking about, Rafe!”

            Rafe returned your glare then as he studied your face, “And what exactly is it do you think I know?”

            “Everything!” You exclaimed, your voice cracking. No, you pleaded with yourself, don’t start crying now.

            “Everything, Rafe. Do you think I’m blind? Stupid?” You asked incredulously. “Micah looked at me like he hated me. Bear has his walls up. You’re keeping me from them. What the fuck is going on? And don’t feed me some bullshit about it all being in my head. It’s not!”

            “Okay, okay, calm down, will ya?” Rafe sighed, looking away in contemplation. You stared at him, willing him to look you in the eye & tell you the truth.

            “You & Micah aren’t friends.” Rafe finally looked at you, but revelation shocked you.

            “What? Why?” Your voice shook.

            “Because he…” Rafe fluttered his eyes closed in frustration, “blames you for Millie’s death.”

            What? You blinked away tears as the words repeated in your head.

            “Why would he…?”

            “I don’t know. I mean, I do, but it still doesn’t make sense. He’s angry, wants someone to blame. He picked you.” Rafe licked his lips, shaking his head, “And as far as Bear goes, he uh, he doesn’t agree with my method of doing things.”

            Though you were still stuck on Micah’s hatred toward you, especially the reasoning, you were concerned about what Rafe had just revealed about Bear.

            “Your method?”

            Rafe inhaled sharply, “I’ve done some shitty things, _____. But they were necessary. For our survival.”

            “What’d you do?” You were beginning to regret learning the truth.

            “I’ve hurt people.” Rafe responded flatly, as if he was removing himself emotionally from the conversation, “Killed them.”

            “The men in the woods?” You asked, suddenly recalling a vague memory.

            “Yes.” Rafe nodded, “And others.”

            “Others?” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

            “It doesn’t matter.” Rafe shook his head, “I did what was needed for us to get this far. I did what no one else could or would do.”

            You frowned, your mind running wild with the possibilities.

            “And the only reason I’m keeping a close eye on you is because not everyone here can be trusted.” The final piece of information unsettled you.

            “They know what you mean to me, & they know your condition. If anyone here wants to get rid of me, they know to go through you to get that done.”

            “That doesn’t make sense.” Your head was throbbing, “If you don’t trust some of them, why are they here?”

            Rafe met your eyes, his gaze unwavering. “Because we need them.”

            Your head was still spinning but your heart softened. Your distrust faded.

            “I told you I wouldn’t risk losing you again. I need the others to keep that from happening.” It surprised you to see his eyes begin to wet, redden, like he was holding back his own tears.

            “This is the new world now, _____.” Rafe began, “Our enemies become our resources to survive, whether we like it or not.”

            “I understand.” You commented. But you didn’t. Something was still off. But you couldn’t pinpoint it.

            Rafe smiled but it wasn’t happy or real. You scooted closer to him on the bed. Hesitantly, you placed your hand on his shoulder. You felt him shudder beneath your touch. Feeling braver, you maneuvered him so he was in a position where he lied with his head on your chest. Rafe was quick to wrap his arms around your middle, tugging himself closer to you.

            “Thank you.” You whispered, your fingers running through his hair.

            He turned onto his back then, looking up at you. There he was, your best friend staring up at you with that look of longing. Before you could say anything or stop it, he placed his hand on the back of your neck & pushed himself up.

            Rafe kissed you, his lips soft yet firm. You resisted at first, but found you had nowhere to go with his hand keeping you in place. And then before you knew it, you were kissing him back. It wasn’t because you necessarily wanted to, or because you had a sudden epiphany about being attracted to him, but because it was the first honest thing you had gotten in the last week. So you welcomed it. If only for a moment.

            Rafe rolled onto his front, never letting his lips separate from yours. He easily found himself between your legs, but the second you felt his prominent arousal pressed against your center, you gasped, shoving him back.

            “I’m sorry.” You covered your mouth, your hands shaking, “I can’t. I’m not, I don’t know. I just, I’m not ready.” You admitted.

            Rafe sighed, & you could tell he was mildly irritated, but he nodded once, “Okay.”

            He rolled over to his side of the bed then, looking at the wall. A pang of guilt shot you in the chest. Ignoring your nerves, you eased toward him, situating his arm over your shoulders as you rested your head on his chest. You felt relieved when you felt Rafe relax into it.

            “I’ll get there, okay? But I have to go slow.” You craned your neck to look up at him. Rafe’s face was expressionless but he nodded, leaning forward to kiss you on the forehead. Your skin burned where his lips touched.

            “I know you will.” He replied, “I’m just impatient to have you back.”

            The two of you settled into bed in that position, & soon enough Rafe was breathing evenly as he slept. But you lied there wide awake, reflecting on everything he had just revealed to you; more so on your relationship with him. You were genuinely worried that he would never get you back, & if that was the case, you worried about your status among the group. You felt that if you didn’t fall back in love with Rafe Cameron then you would cease to exist. And as much as you hated to admit it, you needed him to survive. It’s like what he said: our enemies are our resources to survive. Rafe Cameron was yours.

quite a bigger chapter for you all! i apologize in advance for the last half of this as i wrote while being drunk (teehee). anyway! just a filler chapter to ground reader's suspicions & her struggles with amnesia.

as always, please share your thoughts w me via commenting, reblogging w reviews, or dropping an ask.

thank you for reading!

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[matrixsss]

Mothers Words

For @lucienweekofficial Day 5: Home (ALREADY?) Read below or on AO3

Lucien is always searching for a home, somewhere put in the world. He has had many homes in the past, but none were his true home. As he lays in bed and thinks of how he belongs nowhere, not autumn, not spring and sure as hell not the night court. These places were his adoptive homes not his true homes. Is there even a place that he could call home? Is there really no place on this gods forsaken land that he can call his true home? These questions keep him up at night.   

He longs for a true home, a home that wants and accepts him for who he is. Is there even a place where he truly belongs? Is there a place that he can call his home? He knows these are all questions without an answer. Usually where there is a question there is an answer, but not for him it seems. Lucien hates thinking about this, but late at night when he can’t sleep the thoughts haunt him.   

Home is not a place whispers the wind, a soft familiar feminine voice carrying it to the red head lying on his bed. Lucien sits up, looking around his room, half expecting to find a ghost in the darkest corner. There is nothing in the room, it’s just him, alone. He scoffs, shaking his head before flopping down on the bed. He must’ve imagined the voice, yes of course he imagined it. Calming his racing heart, he turns on his side hoping sleep will take him soon.   

“Lucien.” His mother Adrianna calls him with a soft smile and open arms. He sees himself, not as he is now, his younger self leaps up to his feet and run towards her. His arms wrap tightly around her waist, his head pressed to her stomach. She laughs lightly, running a hand down his hair.  

‘Come, it’s time for bed little fireling.” She says leading his younger self through the Forest house towards his room at the far end of the hallway that was littered with bedrooms of his older brothers. They scare him so he refuses to look up, instead electing to look at the floor as he walks with his mother. Lucien looks at the scene before him from far away, grimacing at the memories that this house holds. Suddenly his mother looks behind her shoulder, giving Lucien a soft smile as if she knew he was there. He knows the smile is not directed at him, she can’t see him, this is just a memory.   

He watches as his mother tucks his younger self into bed, pressing a light kiss on his forehead before sitting up. “Can you tell me a story?” Little him speaks shyly, hoping that this time his mother would tell him a bed night story. Adrianna smiles, she is for once relaxed, without fear and he can see that. His father and brothers are out on a hunting trip and are not to return tonight.   

“There once was a young man, --” She starts with a light sigh. “-- who never knew where his true home was. He searched low and far for a place to call home. Yet nowhere he went felt like home. The young man travelled and kept wandering around in search of that special place to call home. A place that awakes a feeling of belonging. Every night he would wonder if he will ever finds a place to call home. One night on his travels, he encounters a golden soul, ghostly but beautiful. For a moment he wonders if the being will attack him, but she doesn’t. She tells him something important, something that will help him find a way to his true home.” He sees himself slowly nodding off as Adrianna pauses his story, brushing away the stray hairs on his forehead.   

“What... did... she... say... to... him?” He questions slowly, sleepily. Sleep will soon take him. Aurelia giggles lightly, leaning down to whisper the answer in his ear.   

“Home is not a place, it’s a person, a person that accepts you for who you are and makes you feel happy. That is a home.” His younger self is fast asleep as Adrianna sits up, looking at the child with love and a deep sense of sadness.   

“I truly hope you find that in life, my little fox.”   

Lucien shots up in bed for the second time, only this time the sun has risen and is encasing the room in its soft, warm light. He reels from the memory of his childhood, he looks to his right to the window. Watching as the birds fly freely in the sky. Lucien smiles, a sense of relief filling his body. He finally knows where and who his true home is.   

“Thank you.” He whispers into the wind, hoping his message reaches his lovely mother and that it gives her strength.   

[of-elitiism]

Shoved back the blond leans into it and falls across her couch with dramatic flourish.

"Oh no! My oh so delicate masculine pride! How ever will I recover from such an insult to my ego?"

Hand over his mouth in mock aghast he hums thoughtfully.

"Hmmm, perhaps I will simply focus on how you have managed so magnificently in the absence of such anatomy. Unless of course-"

The point of his tongue snakes out between his fingers as if to defy her comment of their ages in a childish display of derision.

"-You mean to say you are inferior to any man hm?"

[ continued ]

Her shoulders drop and her head tilts to a side, incredulous to his astoundingly puerile attics. His taunts would almost make no sense and yet they irked Adrianna to the core, in a manner in which only the likes of him managed to. Ire spiking, the woman all but growled back at him as she towered over his sprawled form menacingly, a hand on her hip and gaze dripping with annoyance.

"...I've almost forgotten how insufferable you could be, you degenerate, spoiled rotten snake," the words come out through gritted teeth as she very firmly and literally steps on him, pressing the sole of her Louboutin high heel against his chest until he dwells deeper into the cushions of her couch.

"Does it tickle your fancy to know you anger me so? Or are you merely using me to fulfill your sick, masochistic tendencies? Please let me know which is it, so that i can have you dealt with accordingly."

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

It was cold in the Twikkii Island royal tombs. Despite the tropical location and the constant sunshine, the old marble kept the building cool. Slabs of marble lined the floors and walls, making the tombs look timeless and formal, but keeping everything inside them chilled.

Queen Consort Ulyssa Siew was the only living occupant currently being chilled in the tombs. She'd gotten up that morning, fought with her wife about some stupid barbecue, and played on her drum set for an hour or two to blow off steam. Her usual meetings with local charities had gone well. Nothing was amiss. She had just been about to sit down for dinner when palace security had burst into the room, ordered her not to touch any of the food and whisked her off to sit alone in a mausoleum filled with Maura’s dead relatives.

Guard Adrianna Pervil suddenly appeared at the door, knocking the code that it was safe to let her enter.

"Your Majesty, the queen regent, long live the king."

"Long live the king," Ulyssa whispered, suddenly unsure of how to act around another living being. After all of this isolation, hearing another person speak felt wrong. It was this bewilderment that kept her from demanding the questions she'd been asking since being entombed, but not anymore. Not when the stakes were this high. "Why won't anyone tell me what's happening? Where are my children? Where's Maura? Why are you saying there's a king? Maura, my wife, is queen. Adrion won't be king for decades from now. Tell me where Maura is!"

"Your Majesty, we can discuss this once the palace is cleared of danger and the rooms are swept for bugs or explosives. It's not safe to speak."

"Explosives? Why would there be explosives in my home? Where is Maura? Where is Adrion and why are you saying that he's the king? Tell me what's happening right this instant, or I'm going to start throwing royal urns! Why have I been left here when my family is clearly in danger? Is Maura dead? You have to tell me, I'm her wife dammit!"

Adrianna looked torn. She had always been close to Maura and her family (a little too close to Maura than Ulyssa had liked) so Ulyssa's pleading seemed to be chipping away at her resolve. Ulyssa gave the woman her most pitiful look, the same one that had saved her numerous times after getting caught sneaking out as a teen. It seemed to have the same effect on Adrianna as it did her father.

"I'm not supposed to say, we don't have a lot of information at the moment. There are a lot of rumors and Pleasantview is-"

"Pleasantview is doing what?" Ulyssa demanded, furious and afraid. "They were supposed to be at a family barbecue! Why is Pleasantview doing anything on our land? Is Claudia attacking us? Is my family dead? If you ever cared about Maura, then you need to tell me where my family is!"

Adrianna's eyes fell to the floor and Ulyssa saw her victory.

"You were the only family member who did not attend the barbecue and you're the only family member we have officially secured. It is protocol to move the royal family into the royal tombs for safety during an attack on the crown. It is secure and easily defended."

"And awfully comvient if I die in here! You don't even have to move my body much. You can just put me in that corner over there with Maura’s great-great aunt!"

Ulyssa's voice bordered on hysteria. The fact that everyone she loved might currently be dead was starting to sound terrifyingly real.

"We are currently working with Pleasantview to secure the area. Queen Claudia is relatively uninjured and has brought in medical teams and her royal coven to assist-"

"Well, isn't that convenient that she's perfectly fine and has her army all ready to invade us!" Ulyssa snapped. "She did this! Whatever happened, she's behind it!"

Adrianna's face looked like it was desperately trying its best not to respond just as angrily as Ulyssa.

"Her Majesty is a victim who is graciously helping her family in a dark time. This is why you're here. You're too much of a liability to release in front of the press and your previous disloyalty makes you a danger to the crown. You were protected because you are the queen consort and that is your right, but we are only here allowing you to be informed as far as the situation requires you to be."

Ulyssa wasn't sure how to feel about these words other than afraid. Of course, she was being judged for her affair. Her family was probably all dead and the only thing Twikkii Island could think about was her disastrous fling with Roman. Why was she needed anyway? If Maura and their children were dead, who would take her place? Trent and his children with Cindra were first in line. He was at the party though, maybe he and Cindra were dead too. It would be Adrian after that. Roman's daughter Luciana would be queen in that case, assuming Adrian died too.

God, how many people were dead in her family? Why had she let Maura talk her out of attending the barbecue in the first place? Anger. Jealousy. Spite. Those were the only reasons that Ulyssa was alive and her entire family was dead.

She closed her eyes and saw the terrifying image of Zane after he died. After he had been brought back wrong in so many ways. Would Maura look like that? Could Ulyssa survive seeing her wife and the mother of her children as dead as Zane?

"You are the queen consort, and in the event that Her Majesty cannot fulfill her duties, the crown passes to your underage son, Adrion. This is the situation we find ourselves in. Her Majesty has been gravely injured and she is under the care of the best doctors we and Pleasantview have to offer. I cannot lie to you when the stakes are this high. She is in critical condition and may still pass away if she cannot be stabilized. Your son is the king until she either recovers or succumbs to her injuries, but he is underage. You will need to act in his place until Her Majesty recovers or until he is eighteen if she does not. Do you understand?"

Ulyssa nodded, ignoring every word the woman had said except for the ones that insinuated that her son was still alive.

"You have Adrion?" she breathed, watching Adrianna's face for signs she was right. "If you're putting this policy in place, that means he's alive! Otherwise, it would be Alysiara as queen. Tell me you have my son!"

"We don't officially have him secured by our forces. He is currently sheltering with Her Majesty Queen Claudia, but Lord Siew is going to bring him to this location once he passes a medical exam."

"Adrian is alive?" Ulyssa gasped. Her body sagged with the relief that her worst fears weren't true. Adrion and Adrian were alive, surely that meant that everyone else was fine. Maura would pull through and this would all be a funny story they told years from now. Adrian knew how to use weapons to defend himself and had a partner whose knowledge of magic frightened most magic users. They would keep her son safe.

"This is good," Ulyssa decided, hugging Adrianna in breach of royal protocol. "Adrion is safe and Maura will be fine. This is upsetting news that we were attacked, but we'll get through it."

Adrianna didn't struggle against Ulyssa's embrace, but her shoulders were still rigid and her disposition grim.

"Your Majesty, there were several casualties today. There were several explosions, some meant to injure and others to distract while targeted individuals were attacked. There is still much confusion about the events that needs to be cleared up, but most people can confirm that there were assassins present, and possibly demons as well. Queen Maura was attacked directly by one of these assassins, and we are treating the situation as if she were the main target."

"Assassins? What does an assassin look like? How could you possibly tell an assassin from a demon? This is ridiculous."

"The assassins had the markings of the Red Queen and her trained assassins. They haven't been seen since the Red Queen's death, but it was unmistakably them. And before you accuse Queen Claudia unjustly, they did also try to attack her as well and not as a ruse. She and Lords Siew and Goldman held most of them off before reenforcements arrived. She's the only reason Her Majesty survived. You owe her your thanks and not your suspicion." Adrianna paused, waiting for Ulyssa to process this information without ranting about Pleasantview again. Ulyssa had a duty to perform and her adopted country needed her to be ready to act on the world stage. "Your Majesty, I need to relay more information if you are going to act as regent. Please, take a seat on the stairs behind you. This will be difficult."

Ulyssa nodded absent mindedly, but remained standing. Her mind was running wild as it was. She didn't need any more bad news.

"Your sister, Lauren, was among the casualties," Adrianna began. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Princess Cindra has informed your family already and is handling that situation for us."

Ulyssa stood in frozen shock, trying to imagine her father receiving this news. Losing the baby of the family in such a horrible way would surely kill her father. She needed to go comfort him and be with her family. Jorah would be a wreck emotionally and collapse under the strain of leading the Durant family in such a dark time.

"Your Majesty, please sit down," Adrianna insisted. Her eyes were still sad. "You really should sit down."

"I should call my father," Ulyssa mumbled, still picturing a sad burial in the Arkhelios church yard. It would be beautiful and solemn, just like the funeral her mother had never had.

"Your Majesty, that's sadly not all I have to report. Please, sit down. You must prepare yourself. I'm so sorry."

Ulyssa's blood froze in her veins at these words. Her heart stopped beating in her chest. The look on Adrianna's face was unfathomable. Ulyssa had already lost a sister and had her wife struggling to survive. What possible cruelty was left?

"As you know, Prince Adrion is being secured. We have reports indicating that Princess Viola and Princess Georgiana are about to be secured as well. I'm sorry to report that Princess Alysiara passed during the initial attack. Prince Spencer passed an hour ago of his injuries."

The floor dropped out from underneath Ulyssa. She was falling and falling in a chasm with no end. Adrianna was still speaking, but Ulyssa had lost the ability to understand the sounds she was making. Two of her children were dead? One while she was stuck in this memorial to the dead? She should have been at her son's side, not locked away in the very place her children would be put to rest. Her heart ached, trying to make sense of the world she now found herself in. A world with royal funerals for her babies and possibly Maura as well. A world where she might have to be regent until Adrion was old enough to take his mother's place, just like Maura had done before him.

Sobs overtook Ulyssa and Adrianna awkwardly tried to comfort her. She wasn't permitted to touch the queen consort under normal circumstances, but it seemed appropriate for this situation.

"Your daughter was born just after Maura was admitted to the hospital," she said quietly. "The queen was in danger of losing her with her injuries, so they performed an emergency c-section. You can see her once the hospital is secured. Congratulations."

Ulyssa stopped crying long enough to figure out what Adrianna meant by "her daughter". Through the haze of her grief, she remembered. Maura’s daughter with that repulsive man had been born and now Ulyssa had to confirm in front of the world, possibly while Maura died, that this was her child. Her daughter. Alysiara was her daughter. She remembered vividly the look on Maura’s face when the pregnancy test turned positive. The hope that they had for the future. That future was gone now and in its place was death and betrayal. How had Maura’s bastard child lived while their daughter died? While their son died without his mother to hold him?

"I want to see my children. I want to see Maura." Each word felt like she was chewing on glass just to get out. All of her worry about her father's reaction to Lauren's death felt hollow now. She was the one about to die and be buried beside her children. There was no air in the room or a heart in her chest. She thought she had understood pain and guilt and sorrow when she watched Maura’s face fall when she was told about Roman. That hadn't been true suffering at all. She would never again see two of her children, while publicly welcoming a daughter that wasn't hers.

She was being punished for her affair. That had to be it. Twikkii Island didn't want her, but only she could bridge the gap between Maura and Adrion. The kingdom needed a monarch and she was all they had. All Ulyssa wanted to do was curl up into a ball and try not to die from the grief she was drowning in, but her surviving children needed a mother. Maura’s daughter needed a mother. Twikkii Island needed her to lead in a way she'd never anticipated. This was the burden Maura had warned her about when she proposed. This was the cost of loving the queen of Twikkii Island. Her children and wife could be murdered and she would have to pick up the pieces and hold a nation together while trying to piece together the shards of her heart.

"Give me a moment."

Ulyssa wandered into the next room to collect herself, still walking like she was the ghost and not her children. She collapsed to the floor, sobbing like she'd never stop until she was dead as well. Adrianna waited quietly, trying to offer words of comfort that Ulyssa couldn't hear.

After an unmeasurable amount of time had passed, Ulyssa rose to her feet and tried to copy the confident, regal look she'd seen Maura adopt every time she was called to duty. She would grieve when there was time to grieve. Until then, she had living children who needed her and a country under attack. She would sit at Maura’s bedside once their children were safe in her arms and the nation had been addressed. Maura needed her to do this. Even with all their fighting and Maura’s self-destructive affairs, Ulyssa loved her wife. She would hold together their shattered family for Maura’s sake and collapse once Maura was fit to rule again.

"Take me to Adrion," she ordered, as she had always been instructed. "Bring the rest of the children to meet us at the hospital Maura and my youngest daughter are in and have a speech prepared to deliver in an hour. I also want updates on just what happened and what we're doing about it. Who did this? What's the timeline? You can't keep things from me if you want me to step in for Maura."

Adrianna looked uncomfortable and craned her neck to see the entrance to the tombs.

"No one has come through here? No sounds in the halls? Do you have a reasonable expectation that you are alone here?" When Ulyssa nodded, Adrianna sighed. "I'm not supposed to brief you until we've secured a space to do so. This information is highly sensitive."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere until I have something to work with," Ulyssa insisted. She'd watched Maura tear down her occasionally infuriating security team and Ulyssa felt confident that she could copy Maura’s attitude. "I need to know the victims and I need to know what happened on my wife's land. I'm not rushing off where you want me to without those two things."

"The casualties were Lauren Durant, Princess Alysiara, Prince Spencer, and potentially Her Majesty. There was a targeted attack by trained agents, who we believe to be affiliated with the Red Queen, as well as planted explosives we believe were designed to isolate the targets from the crowd."

Ulyssa nodded, counting her breaths like she had when she was pregnant. This was all too much to handle, especially now that she could see the same pattern the security team had too.

"My sister, my wife, and my children were the targets?" she repeated shakily. "No one died who wasn't in my immediate family? We didn't publish the fact that I wouldn't be there, it was a last minute thing. Maura and I were arguing and she asked me to stay behind. She said it would make us look bad if we couldn't even agree on a simple barbecue. I thought she was using the barbecue as a chance to meet up with one of her lovers. The killers thought that I'd be there. The killers wanted me to be there. I'm not just being self-absorbed, right? My family and I were all supposed to die."

Adrianna nodded, putting aside her dislike of Ulyssa for the moment. Maura had chosen her to marry and Adrianna had never questioned one of Maura’s orders.

"Your sister Cindra was also targeted, we believe, but survived. There may not have been a heavy security presence on the lot, but as you know, the Siew family takes pride in educating its members in self-defense. Even before the Pleasantview coven arrived, I'm told the intruders were already retreating. One of the Darktide children apparently drew blood on one of them with a spell and we're running the blood left behind for DNA analysis. Another child stabbed one attacker in the thigh, protecting Princess Georgiana. The Siew family is resilient."

Was Georgiana specially targeted or had she been in as much danger as my other children? Did the attackers know her paternity and target her directly because she wasn't Maura’s biological daughter?

Ulyssa struggled to breathe, relying once more on her pregnancy breathing to calm her down. This was a targeted effort to destroy her family and she had to stay strong. Maura had always warned her that this might happen and she agreed to the risks when they got married. It was time for Ulyssa to be both the Durant family head and the Siew regent. She'd been caught without a proper defense this time, but that would never happen again. Ulyssa would protect her two families with everything she had.