#[ this is so long I'm so sorry ]

[animatedjen]

What's some stuff you're really hoping to see in Jedi 3 (either narratively or gameplay wise)?

Oh I'm so glad you asked this 🙌 Because I have THOUGHTS.

Gonna put everything under the cut so this doesn't clog up the feed with a wall of text (whoops.) Some of these ideas I hope to create concept art for, after I replace/fix my very cranky thirteen-year-old tablet. Anyway let’s start with gameplay!

Gameplay!

Maintaining Cal's abilities: Survivor handled this beautifully by keeping many of the skills learned in Fallen Order, instead of undoing Cal's growth from the first game. I think it'll be trickier to keep this momentum into Jedi 3 (the skill tree has gotten so large!) but story reasons could push Cal towards new types of abilities instead of bloating the current options.

More synergy between the lightsaber stances: I like all the stances in Survivor and it'd be A) disappointing to lose any of them, but B) overwhelming to add MORE combat styles. Being able to flow between the stances more fluidly would be fun though, with specific combos unlocked depending on which two are active together. Now if Merrin lets Cal borrow her knife-staff and he puts his lightsaber on the end... MAGICK SABER PIKE GO.

New or adapted movement mechanics: Maybe the ascension cable is replaced with a force ability (Force Ascend or Force Leap for an extra vertical boost?) or is "upgraded" to connect between two anchors, letting Cal create his own temporary ziplines.

Replayable missions: This could be explained in-game with a Force Tear or Cal's own interactive echoes. But I'd love the option to experience story missions and boss fights again post-game.

Customization!

This is a bonus section because Merrin should get new outfits. Haven't decided how to make it part of gameplay yet, stay tuned.

Cal's cosmetics in Survivor are mostly cool, some just funny, but overall a huge improvement from Fallen Order (yes, even though we miss all the poncho designs). For Jedi 3 I'd love to see more story-centric cosmetics that tie into the communities and people Cal has met along his journey. A Legacy outfit (incorporating pieces from his three Jedi masters), an Anchorite-inspired outfit (with arm tattoos), a bounty hunter outfit (the prize after defeating the Brood), etc. Maybe a Bogling outfit? No not made from Boglings; it looks like a Bogling. Hang on lemme fix my tablet—

Narrative + Gameplay!

Explore Tanalorr: Right now this sparkly, strong-in-the-Force, temple-carved planet is a huge mystery box for Jedi 3. There's a few directions it could go - more High Republic history, another civilization (the Nihil? someone new?) lurking in the shadows, or Force-related secrets hiding below the surface. Each Jedi game has followed Cal's exploration of an ancient culture, and I think Tanalorr can be a focal point in that journey.

Defeat Sorc Tormo and the Haxion Brood: I mentioned this in an ask earlier this week, but I so want a resolution to this fight against the Brood. Especially since roaming bounty hunters would threaten the Hidden Path. Maybe Cal breaks back into Ordo Eris, or hunts down Sorc Tormo on another planet. Maybe there's a Force-only stealth section?? Maybe a big multi-wave boss fight? Maybe Caij is there??? (no she doesn't get an invite to Tanalorr)

Dark Side Force Slow: The fact that Cal's Force Slow ability kept its red-stained aura, even in the Survivor post-game, is great. I love lasting consequences and ludonarrative harmony, yes yes yes. Really hope this isn't fully resolved by the start of Jedi 3 (potential timeskip makes it tricky but whatever) and the ability receives some sort of healing through Cal finding his way out of the darkness.

Narrative!

Timeskip?: I vote no, but I think Jedi 3 will vote yes, likely to age up Kata and allow Tanalorr to be more developed. But that also means Cal and the Mantis Crew goes through character development without us (boo) or remains emotionally stunted until we get there (also boo?). I'm more comfortable with the five year gap between FO and Survivor than I used to be though, despite "missing out" on big character moments, so maybe it'll be okay. Maybe. 👀

The Hidden Path builds a home on Tanalorr: This works until it doesn't, whether from outside pressure or the threat of a spy within. I don't think Bode's fears should necessarily be validated, but I do think the risk will keep Cal on edge and hurt his ability to trust (both others and himself.) It'll drive decisions that strain his relationships and be a source of conflict for part of the game.

The Mantis gets semi-retired and then reinstated: I just love the mental picture of the Mantis parked somewhere cozy and decorated with cloth and lights and a hideout for Kata. It's become too small and high profile to use for gathering the Path, but when the plot gets going, they're gonna need her back in action.

Three main antagonists: The Empire, an unrelated third-party with their own goals (Nihil or someone else), and Cal's own demons. The first two drive the external conflict, the third drives Cal's inner conflict and the story's themes. More on that at the end.

A memorial garden: It's designed by Pili and filled with native Tanalorrian plants and trees, from which the Anchorites hang cords and windchimes and bits of colored glass. Cere's saber was buried beneath the largest tree. Cal plays her hallikset here when he's too troubled to meditate. If we want to be mean, this place gets damaged during a battle in Act 3. If we want to be less mean, this is the place that doesn't get damaged during a battle.

Kata has some sort of student-teacher relationship with Cal: I'm torn on her being Force sensitive: this is a story about Jedi and "guide her through the darkness" is pretty telling given Cal's own darkness at the end of Survivor. But Cal helping Kata (and Kata helping Cal) can happen regardless of her Force sensitivity - it would just look different. This is a soft answer because I'm still exploring ideas around it BUT admittedly the angst levels would be higher if she is sensitive.

A battle against the shadow self: Look this one is cliche. I don't care. I want a huge cavern in the depths of Tanalorr where Cal gets to fight a dark version of himself that switches between all his former enemies. If we're making a video game here let's physically beat up our darkness. Let's have it not work. Let's bring Cal to rock bottom to remind him that he is more than his darkness and he doesn't have to do this alone. Let's go back to that same fight later and then we finally win.

There's more to explore story-wise and I will eventually, but I'm overall not concerned about Jedi 3's narrative. Respawn has been very intentional with their writing of Cal Kestis and the Jedi series so far (despite some last minute changes to Survivor) and I love this character and this story because of all the great work they've created. I really hope they finish this journey the way they want to. That being said—

How should Jedi 3 end? Should Cal die?

No: I'll argue Cal dying at the end of the trilogy completely undermines the entire lesson of Survivor.

Cal wouldn't stop fighting the Empire: The Cal we meet at the beginning of Survivor definitely wouldn't. That Cal also watched countless friends die to that same fight and saw two different Jedi fall to their passions-turned-obsessions that led them to the dark side. He may wrestle with remnant obligation or a bitter apathy, but he's definitely not as single-minded as he was before.

Cal would sacrifice himself to save the Path: Yeah, he probably would. Cere did exactly that during the Siege of Jedha when all else failed. But maybe the Path could be protected without Cal needing to be a Weapon - a lesson Cere also wanted him to learn.

Another way: I think the Koboh abyss (that separates Tanalorr from the rest of the galaxy) could be destroyed. I don't know if Cal would choose to destroy it, but I think the Empire would: if they can't reach Tanalorr it's the next best thing.

Now Cal has to make a choice: Leave (continuing the fight alone) or Stay (shepherding the Path for an unknown future.) It doesn't mean they never find a way back to the known galaxy, but it'll take time. Enough time for a New Hope to appear.

Whatever your opinion of the Sequel Trilogy, the line: "That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate. Saving what we love." is not only a complete thesis of Star Wars, but fits really well with Cal's journey. He's become very good at fighting. He wants to save everyone in Fallen Order, and he can't. He still wants to save everyone in Survivor, and they refuse him. His Fight has made a difference (again, Cere says as much) but it's clear this can't be Cal's final answer.

Choosing to protect the Path, choosing to trust the Force, choosing a home. That's what he's been fighting for. I love Cal Kestis because he isn't the chosen one and he isn't going to save the galaxy. But for his family and his community, he saved their galaxy. It's cheesy but I don't care, and you know Greez and BD would agree with me.

-

Okay this got so, so much longer than I expected. Bonus points if you made it all the way down here haha. I've had a weird assortment of concepts and ideas over the past year but never wrote them down in one place - until now. I've said it before but part of my hyperfixation with the Jedi series is because it isn't finished yet and Survivor ends on such a gut-wrenching cliffhanger. Whatever happens to this series, I'm slowly finding some sort of catharsis through all the edits and photomode shots and half-baked concepts. Thanks for tagging along ✌️

[necrotic-nephilim]

Hello! New to comics and I don't really feel like the New-52 comics are for me and would really like to read and understand Pre-flashpoint and all the dark and good stuff there. Is there an order or starting point you would recommend? Thanks for your time, and I hope you have a great day!

hi! i'm so glad you want to get into comics! i'd love to help with some recs! since you're here, i'm going to assume you're a Batfamily fan and most of my recs will cater to that, but i will try to encompass a bit of everything to help you just understand some big moments and all this mess that is DC canon. adding a cut bc jesus this got long.

so your starting point for pre-Flashpoint is going to be Crisis on Infinite Earths. the TLDR of this event is: DC had a big multiverse in the 70s and early 80s that wasn't friendly to new readers. to try to push their titles more and become a proper competitor to Marvel, they created an in-universe storyline that nuked the multiverse and gave a solid entry point for new fans going forward. this is why you hear terms like Pre-Crisis and Post-Crisis. it refers to the comics canon before and after this event, in 1985. some characters had some big changes (for example: pre-Crisis Jason Todd was a circus kid whose parents were killed by Killer Croc) but most remained largely the same, just simplified. you don't *have* to start with Crisis on Infinite Earths if you don't want to. it's a *good* storyline, but it's a big one and a lot of big multiverse-scale stuff happens. so as long as you understand it as "big event that nuked DC's multiverse and gave the world a clean slate in 1985", then you've basically got the gist. also Barry Allen dies during it, but he comes back so don't worry about it.

in general, if DC has some big timeline/canon-altering event, they're going to call it a Crisis Event. the only Crisis Events that will matter to you, trying to get into pre-Flashpoint are

Crisis On Infinite Earths - the above, starts the Post-Crisis/pre-Flashpoint timeline

Zero Hour: Crisis In Time - an event in the 90s that sought to fix some of the kinks that the above Crisis caused, like fixing the origins of the Legion of Superheroes and other Golden/Silver Age characters, not *super* important tbh

Infinite Crisis - this was a big event that brought back some characters who got nuked by Crisis on Infinite Earths, unfucked Power Girl's backstory, and set the groundwork to bring back the multiverse. if you've heard "Superboy Prime punched a hole in reality and it brought back Jason Todd" yeah, this is the story where it happened

Final Crisis - a big event that was partly meta commentary but heroes fought Darkseid, Batman died for a hot second, it was all a big deal about evil winning and all that

Flashpoint - the event that nuked this timeline, a big storyline to do with Flash and the timeline that would result in the New-52 in 2011

are you confused yet? good embrace the confusion it's going to become second nature of a comic fan. you don't need to read these events as a beginner. you really don't i promise. they'll sound big and important, but besides Crisis On Infinite Earths and Flashpoint, the start and end of this era, the rest you can just kind of breeze by so long as you understand the big plot points like Batman dying or Superboy Prime punching reality. unless you really care about a character central to these stories, skip 'em for now.

now for any character, if they have a Year One comic? that is a very safe bet as a place to start. it is what it sounds like. Batman: Year One is going to be Bruce's first year as Batman. same as Green Arrow: Year One, Batgirl: Year One, etc. when in doubt, if there's a Year One, start with Year One. (note: for Superman, his "year one" type story is called Superman: Birthright and it is worth reading if you like Superman)

for Batman, i am holding you by the shoulders when i say this: people will tell you to read The Killing Joke. they're liars. do not listen to them. it's a bad story. you don't need it. do not let the Joker fanboys lie to you. people will also say Dark Knight Returns. don't listen to *them* either. i *like* DKR, i talk about it a lot here. it's not a good intro to Batman. it's an AU story, it's not canon, ignore it for now.

now where you *should* start with Batman, imo, is as followed

Batman: Year One - as said above, Year Ones are good, this is solid to start with

Batman: The Long Halloween - this is an iconic story and it's a followup to year One

Batman: Dark Legacy - the followup to Long Halloween, also a very good story

Batman: Hush - this story is a solid starter if you want to understand the general vibe of Gotham, the typical characters you see in the Batfamily, and a good Batman villain

once you've got the basics down, you *can* get into the big boy storylines like Batman: Knightfall and Batman: No Man's Land, but don't worry about those right now. they're long and complicated and shouldn't really be your starting point no matter how good they are.

other very good pre-Flashpoint comics that are easy to pick up and iconic storylines

Death of Superman - this is a long arc in the Superman run that if you collect in trades, goes Death of Superman, Funeral For A Friend, Reign of the Supermen, Return of Superman, Doomsday. it's long, but a very iconic storyline

Wonder Woman by George Perez - this the run that helped define modern Wonder Woman within the pre-Flashpoint era

JLA: Year One - if you want a good Justice League story where you get characters besides Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman taking the shine, this is a great place to start

Green Arrow by Mike Grell - start with Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters and then go into Green Arrow (1988). this has the darker, very 80s vibes that gets a bit gritty and very realistic with the issues it faces bc Green Arrow comics tend to be more rooted

The New Teen Titans by Marv Wolfman - this technically starts before pre-Flashpoint, don't worry about it it's fine. a good run for all of these characters, can get a little confusing, it is okay to be confused do not be afraid to google shit

so, some big stories out of the way i'm just. honestly going to run down the line of the major pre-Flashpoint Batfamily members and give you comic recs for them that you can start with. (besides Bruce obviously, bc well. see above)

Dick Grayson

NIghtwing: Year One

Robin: Year One

Nightwing (1995)

Tim Drake

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying

Robin (1990)

Robin II: Joker's Wild

Robin III: Cry of the Huntress

Robin (1993)

Barbara Gordon

Batgirl: Year One

Birds of Prey (1999)

Jason Todd

Batman: The Cult (as Robin)

Batman: Death in the Family (as Robin)

Batman: Under The Red Hood

Red Hood: Lost Days

Cassandra Cain

Batgirl (2000)

Batman: No Man's Land

Jean-Paul Valley

Batman: Sword of Azrael

Batman: Knightfall

Stephanie Brown

Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma

Batgirl (2009)

Selina Kyle

Catwoman by Ed Brubaker

Helena Bertinelli

Batman/Huntress: Cry For Blood

Huntress: Year One

Birds of Prey: Manhunt

Damian Wayne

Batman & Robin (2009)

there are other very important pre-Flashpoint stories for all of these characters, but these are starting points more than anything. figure out what characters you're interested and go from there. understanding the universe at large helps, do not get me wrong. but at the end of the day, comics are a choose your own adventure of who you want to give a shit about. you're *never* going to read everything "important" and you're probably not going to understand everything. that's okay. don't treat it like a media you need to "complete" like a tv show or a movie, but more like an open world game where you decide what characters/teams/stories you like the most.

pre-Flashpoint covers a lot of ground. some stuff will be darker and grittier, some stuff will be more light-hearted. it will all be about what titles you pick up and what characters you decide you want to read about. you're obviously going to get a much more grounded storyline out of Green Arrow than you are say, a JLA comic. i prefer the more grounded, "street level" sorts of characters. (if you like gritty detective stories, i will be biased and highly recommend the Question (1987) just because. i love him okay.) but you might find you like sometimes more worldly and big scale. at the end of the day: don't force yourself to love a comic you're not enjoying, even if you like that character. you can put that shit down. sometimes, "important stories" are by shitty writers that you won't enjoy reading and you shouldn't make this hobby a chore. i don't care how "critically acclaimed" it is, you don't have to like it if it doesn't click for you. and on the flipside, a comic might be considered "bad" but you may enjoy it (a personal example: Robin III: Cry of the Huntress is considered a very weak comic. don't care. i love it anyway.) accept the cringe, have fun, and enjoy yourself at the end of the day. none of it will make sense anyway so just read what sounds cool to you.

this was all over the place and rambly, but i hope it helps at least a little! welcome to comics anon! if you or anyone else would like more character-specific recs, feel free to ask! if i don't know, i can at the very least hopefully point you in the right direction <3

[oatmealdaydreams]

*pulls up to the drive thru window* yeah can i get auhhhh whats the fic your working on abt!!!! (or ur fave one if you're like me and growing a whole garden of them) and also a Are there certain tropes you really like to put in your fics?

Of course, let me get that for ya!

*demonic screeching & a bunch of crash/clutter sounds come from the background; along with me shouting "NOT TODAY, ANGST-NO-COMFORT" in the back with a battle cry*

*I reappear, looking like I just battled various creatures of unspecified origin*

Okay, so here's Current Fic I'm Working On/Fave WIP; it's a combo deal, ya see.

I have an entire meadow/flower field of drafts I'm working on (think acres long of stuff). One of them I'm currently working on is something for my MLP blog; it's a hurt/comfort drabble with Twlight Sparkle (main protagonist) and Spike (main protagonist's family/friend). To me, Twilight is like the big sister and Spike is like the baby brother. Sanders Sides related? I'm working on a drabble called A Wilting Flower that's based on a post one of my other moots talked about (@/askfurrysides). It's platonic Roceit, hurt/comfort; Janus comforting a very hurt Roman. One of my faves? Oh, they're all my darlings... one good one is this Dukexiety MLP au with cracked-horn unicorn Remus, flightless pegasus Virgil, earth pony Janus & Patton, and unicorn Logan. There's some "gotta find my missing brother" type of stuff. Janus and Roman have a kinder, less angsty friendship in this au. It mainly focuses on Dukexiety and Creativitwins.

Oh, and here's that Certain Tropes I Write for ya!

What's funny is I was going through and moving around old Wattpad drafts from those ol' days, and found a lot of common tropes I still kinda write. In list form bc I can :3 For My Human AUs > making Patton & Emile cousins > making Virgil Italian > making Janus French/speaks French > making Logan and Thomas adoptive brothers, usually with Thomas being the lil kid brother > making the twins have a complicated sibling relationship with each other > making Remus and Janus besties always > making Roman and Janus have a less angsty friendship/relationship > writing everyone's POV that isn't Patton's > making Remy an older sibling to the twins or to Virgil In General > giving Remus separation anxiety and abandonment issues, especially when it comes to Roman > giving Roman so many insecurites, omg, the ANGST, I'm not sorry >:3 > making Virgil and Janus figure some form of reconciliation or putting their shit on the back burner in favour of the Others/Thomas > complicated siblings/doomed siblings Creativitwins > hurt/comfort always, except when it isn't > touch-starved Sides finally getting the support they so desperately need > Logince (Logan & Roman) where it's them being representations of Thomas' executive functions & what happens when burnout/brain fog/creative block happens > chosen family, my beloved <3

There's more in stock somewhere, I don't want to overfill your order.

Enjoy!

[starlight-blvd]

thomas orson hunt, he/him (hwu)

(more under the cut! this is gonna be a long one, folks.)

Where do I even begin? Thomas was the first character from HWU (or any of PB's work, for that matter) that I ever got attached to. To this day, I don't really know why. Sometimes, I just want to put him under a microscope and intensely study him (aka write from his perspective for pages on end to Figure Him Out™).

(Please excuse the weird menagerie of a playlist this time around; it's best to turn shuffle on for this one.)

He's inspired heavily by Henry Cavill.

He grew up in a dysfunctional household in Providence, Rhode Island; he's always been close with his mother, but his father was an alcoholic and put the two of them through hell.

Rachel is Thomas's half-sister due to his father having an affair during the first few years of his life.

He, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, and Gabe Ricci have been friends since childhood.

To earn money for his mother and for college during high school, he was a Sears catalog model. He mostly modeled underwear, sleepwear, swimwear, and holiday collections.

Thomas dated Yvonne in high school. She was a French exchange student, and they started dating their sophomore year. When they were planning their futures, they realized they were on very different paths in life, with her going to her first opera run in the West End and him going to film school in L.A. Neither were sure if they could handle a long-distance relationship while they both put their careers first, so they called off the relationship.

When he attended Hollywood U as a student for his first film degree, his roommate and longtime boyfriend was Diego Barrantes. This would be the first time either of them dated another man, during a time when it was not as widely accepted. They would spend summers at Diego's mother's home in San Francisco, and it's where Thomas gained a fondness for carne asada tacos. The two never "broke up" officially, but Diego decided to spend more time with his family after his brother got into a car accident that gave him long-term medical issues, and as much as Thomas loved him, they would find each other again when the time was right.

During his master's degree work in film is when he met the mysterious Marianne Delacroix, who was going for her master's degree in fashion at the exact same time.

Trying to finish films during his master's program as an creative fully in the industry was a whole different beast compared to his student films. Having to work with figures like Brian Ratzik and Anders Stone to get his films distributed in theaters during this time, Thomas had to learn to be his own advocate for his work in more ways than ever before.

During his first few years of teaching at Hollywood U, he pursued open relationships and wanted to try polyamory. He still saw Diego when he could, but he also dated actress/business mogul Bree Wesley and musician/bartender Kane Washington, two best friends who moved out to buy homes in Hollywood after their careers took off in New York. During this time, he also dated fellow professor Priya Singh, though they only lasted a few months and have been professional rivals ever since.

It's when two of his students began fighting for an internship at Faux Pas Magazine that everything changed. Through this, Marianne re-entered his life, and the two began a relationship that would prove detrimental to his health, to say the least.

Without going into too much detail, Thomas's relationship with Marianne was rife with emotional manipulation and physical harassment. The worst events of their relationship happened while he was directing his first two television series — Desire & Decorum in 2017 and 2018, and The Unexpected Heiress in 2019. Cast and crew were terrified when Marianne was on set, as she was the costume director for both shows.

After a particularly difficult altercation on set during the last week of filming The Unexpected Heiress, Thomas ended up in the hospital with multiple severe injuries when cast members found him unconscious in his dressing room. Marianne was arrested, and Rose stepped up to help finish directing the project, consulting with Thomas remotely.

Four months before The Unexpected Heiress premiered, the pandemic hit. Editing the show remotely and doing press interviews occupied his time, but could only do so to a point.

Dealing with the pandemic also meant that Marianne's assault trial would take longer to begin, especially as more charges were added as time went on and multiple pre-trial hearings needed to take place.

Thomas coped with all of this in a few ways: vlogging, cooking, screenwriting, songwriting, and getting to know his new-at-the-time neighbor across the street, Sadie Kennedy-Appleton.

When the trial began in September of 2021, the media covered it relentlessly. Thomas never answered questions paparazzi or news reporters alike asked him, relegating them to his lawyers. When it concluded in December, the court ruled in Thomas's favor and then some. It could never make up for the damage that was done to him, but at least he had closure.

He kept himself out of the spotlight aside from teaching at HWU, not working on his filming his latest project, The Deadliest Game, until January of 2024.

[orthodoxadventure]

Howdy, hope you are well!

Why Orthodoxy? I don't know very much about Orthodox Christians.

Have a blessed day!

Sorry it took so long to get to your message! And apologies in advance if the following is a bit rambly or unclear. I struggle a lot with being concise.

Largely what put me off of Orthodoxy when I was enquiring into Catholicism, was that at least in Scotland, the Orthodox Churches here primarily conduct their Liturgies in languages other than English. It felt like they were primarily orientated at serving local Romanian or Greek or Russian immigrants, and didn't seek to expand those demographics. Which was fair. But at the same time, this put me at odds with what I felt was the universal (or, Catholic) message of what Christianity was. By and large, this was my own failing to conduct proper research. Don't get me wrong, at the time there was also logistical issues. When I was looking at converting into Christianity in general, I was in London for university. Which is a huge city with a range of Churches that serves various Christian communities. Whereas back at my tiny town in Scotland, there were only Protestant and Catholic Churches. The nearest Orthodox Church just simply wasn't commutable by public transport and I don't drive.

I was (and still am) very new to exploring Orthodox Christianity. A lot of my initial exposure to Orthodox Christians online, were largely negative experiences. Which I strongly don't recommend using as your basis of whether a faith is true or not, but they were my only real exposure to Orthodox Christians and I think their overzealousness perhaps muddied their intentions and the faith they were trying to relay to others.

I'm saying these things, because originally I was brought up in an atheist household. I converted to Catholicism in 2018/2019. I made that choice of Orthodoxy or Catholicism then, and it's something I'm returning to now. My initial exploration of Orthodoxy was admittedly extremely poor on my part. I let anxieties of bothering these people steer me away from really exploring it. And because I was learning about Catholicism, this naturally brought in a lot of misconceptions that some Catholics have about Orthodox Christians and I took these things more or less at face value. I was a very different person then in terms of how I approached educating myself. I was at a very vulnerable point in my life with regards to having extremely poor mental health issues and having no support network. I was desperate for community and a relationship with God. The English speaking Catholic Church nearby was therefore a much less daunting and accessible community for me. It was a lot easier for me to integrate.

I also have a lot of love and respect for the Blessed Virgin Mary, and with regards to Marian Dogmas put forth by the Catholic Church largely just took the position of "Well these are just so obviously true, how can the Orthodox say otherwise?" While never actually being brave enough to actually give much exploration into what the Orthodox positions on the Blessed Virgin Mary actually was. I was very caught up in the anxiety that I would learn the wrong thing, and by doing so offend her and by extension God. Over a period of time, I would learn again and again, through various accidental means that some of my misconceptions about Orthodoxy were simply that - misconceptions.

Something that I hold very closely to my heart was praying the Rosary after an extremely traumatic life event happened (or trying, I was mostly just crying and shaking). And I remember just feeling enveloped in the smell of roses. It was something so deeply warm and comforting. That whenever I smell roses, I always think of that singular event. For a long time I have prayed for her to be like a Mother to me, and to continually bring me back to her Son.

One of my other prayers that I held so dearly to while converting to Catholicism was praying that God would bring me to Him. And that if I ever strayed that He would guide me back. Over time, my exposure to Orthodoxy became something akin to being in a maze. No matter which way I took a path in life, re-treading old ground or exploring new ones, I felt like I was continually being brought back to the topic of the Orthodox Church.

You arouse us so that praising you may bring us joy, because you have made us and drawn us to yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you. - St. Augustine

I'm in a city now where there is an English Liturgy offered, and the Romanian Priest that offers the Liturgy in Romanian is also extremely warm and welcoming - even going so far to get a translator for the sermon and conducting various parts of the Liturgy in English. For the Lord's Prayer, people from each community take turns in praying it out loud. Hearing the Lord's prayer in various languages that have come together under one roof to praise God is a lot more universal and welcoming than I initially thought or even knew about.

In some sense, I feel like a lot of the readings I was doing particularly around the Church Fathers and the early Church, pulled me towards Orthodoxy. And I'm in a much better position to be more open to exploring those things, and challenging my own misconceptions that I had about Orthodoxy. It was never a case of me waking up one day and deciding I didn't like the Pope or some other part of the Catholic Church. It was something I loved, and love, dearly. It was heartbreaking to feel the pull towards Orthodoxy, and it still is in a lot of ways. But I have to be understanding and open to the way that God leads me in my life. And this is the way I feel like I'm being led. And I'm in a much better position to explore that now.

Something you might find useful / interesting, if you don't have much exposure to Orthodox Christianity would be the following:

https://www.saintjohnchurch.org/differences-between-orthodox-and-catholic/

https://www.saintjohnchurch.org/teachings-orthodox-church/

Kallistos Ware also has two books: The Orthodox Church, and the Orthodox Way. Both of which are usually recommended to both inquiries and Catechumens.

[im-not-thinking-confetti-cannons]

Day 25: Bloodplay

Warnings: none

Rating: E

Pairing: Raylan x Tim

Tim’s not sure how the two of them fell into this habit. He doesn’t remember the first time Raylan showed up at his apartment with a six-pack and a smile, because Tim never asked what he was doing and Raylan never provided a reason. He just keeps showing up – and Tim keeps letting him in.

Raylan’s there now more nights than he’s not. 

It’s a realization that hits Tim slowly one night, as they’re sitting on the couch together, an hour into the Lord of the Rings marathon that’s airing. Raylan’s on his second beer and Tim’s already thinking about grabbing a set of sheets out of the closet so he can set up the couch for Raylan to crash on – and the fact that they’ve done this enough for there to be that sort of routine in place is more surprising than it has any right to be.

The fact that Raylan is choosing Tim, consistently – that, perhaps, is surprising too, though Tim feels like he has every right to be surprised there. It makes him think, maybe about things he wouldn’t be thinking about if Raylan wasn’t in his space, if they weren’t just buzzed enough for plausible deniability.

“When’s the last time you got laid?” he asks, going for a casual tone and missing by a mile. Raylan fixes him with a look like he knows, like Tim just asking is enough to show his hand.

“It’s been a minute,” Raylan says, and Tim hides his smile behind his bottle of beer, shaking his head.

“A minute,” he repeats. “Raylan, for you, that could just as well mean you got some last night.” It couldn’t, though. Raylan was on his couch last night. But still. “You’re…�� A slut, he thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud. “Insatiable.”

Raylan’s eyes narrow. “You’ve been spending too much time with Boyd,” he says. It’s not a question. He just knows, because somehow Raylan Givens is the person who can read Tim better than anyone else. It’s karmic, Tim’s sure. And it’s more reassuring than he’ll ever admit aloud.

Tim shrugs lazily. “Nelson won’t play Scrabble with me anymore,” he says. “And it’s not like I’m spending any more time over there than you are.”

Raylan’s jaw clenches a little, the way it always does when someone brings up the fact that he’s supposed to hate Boyd and he doesn’t. “We’ve got history,” he says after a moment, like that’s any sort of answer.

“So you keep saying.” Tim takes a sip of his beer. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

He’s close enough that he can hear Raylan’s little huff of laughter, barely louder than a breath. “A month,” he says. “Maybe more. I don’t know, Gutterson, I’m not exactly counting the days.”

Liar, Tim thinks.

“And besides,” Raylan continues, “I’ve got a standing date with your couch. I’m not about to step out on my best girl.”

Tim laughs, sharp and unbidden, but Raylan likes it, judging from the way a smile slants across his mouth. “Maybe you’ve lost your touch,” Tim says, and Raylan flips him off before draining the rest of his beer and setting the bottle aside.

“Maybe I just haven’t been able to find what I want,” he mutters. Almost immediately, he looks like he regrets the words, and Tim smells blood. It’s not his favorite thing about himself, the way he can spot a weakness from a mile away, but it is damned useful, both in the field and out of it.

Tim was sure he had all of Raylan’s sore spots mapped out. It’s more thrilling than it should be to realize that he doesn’t.

“Don’t leave me hanging,” he says. Raylan still won’t meet his eyes. “Aw, come on. I told you about Sigourney Weaver, Raylan, it’s time to ‘fess up.”

Raylan rolls his eyes – actually rolls them, exaggerated and obnoxious. “We both know Michael Fassbender is more your type,” he says, and… well, a month ago, that might have made Tim’s hackles rise a little, might have made him change the subject. Now? Now it just convinces him that he’s on the right track.

“Spill,” he says. “Then we can do our nails and braid each other’s hair.”

“You’re an ass,” Raylan mutters, but he’s smiling even as he shakes his head. “It’s not anything special. Not really. I just…” He trails off, shrugging, and then raises his head to meet Tim’s eyes. “I like to be roughed up sometimes. That’s all.”

I like to be roughed up sometimes.

Tim already knows that’s going to run on a loop in his mind for the rest of the foreseeable future. In the moment, it’s instantly all he can think about: Raylan seeking people out to scratch this particular itch, and what, exactly, he might mean by roughed up. It’s broad enough to make it a gray area – Tim’s known men who would have considered letting a girl push them onto their backs so she could be on top rough.

Raylan, though… Raylan doesn’t seem like that type.

Tim’s silent for too long, and Raylan’s shoulders go tense under all the shirts he has on. “What,” he says, almost defensively, “you never like it to hurt a little?”

Tim shrugs. “Can’t say I do,” he says, and before Raylan can take that the wrong way and clam up, he adds, “Doesn’t mean I don’t know how to make it hurt real damn good.”

Slowly, slowly, Raylan smiles, cocky and crooked, and the warning bells that should go off in Tim’s head just don’t. Raylan is trouble, and he knows it, but at the moment he’s too caught on I like to be roughed up and the way Raylan has spread his knees, welcoming, to worry about that.

“You gonna let me run this show?” Tim asks, and oh, the way Raylan shudders is fucking beautiful.

“Yeah,” he says, his voice a little breathy. “If you think you can handle that.”

It’s a challenge. There’s no two ways around it. Raylan’s trying to rile him up (has been for years, Tim thinks) and if he were younger, if he wasn’t intimately familiar with how boys like Raylan ticked, it might work.

As it is, Tim gets to his feet, tapping Raylan’s shin with his foot to indicate he do the same. “Kitchen,” he says, and when Raylan just raises an eyebrow, he adds, “I don’t want you fucking bleeding all over my carpet, Raylan.”

Raylan stumbles a little, and the sound he lets out is all wanting, all need. “Christ,” he says under his breath, glancing over his shoulder. “You planning on making me bleed?”

Tim flicks the light on in the kitchen. It’s not huge, not by any means, but the linoleum on the floor is old and stained. If he does make Raylan bleed, it’s not going to ruin anything he’ll have to pay to get cleaned. “Depends,” he says, and Raylan’s eyes glint a little, focusing on him. “How do you want it?”

Raylan grins, the tense and tight something in his shoulders loosening at Tim’s words. He lifts his chin, tapping the hinge of his jaw. “Right here,” he says, and when Tim just raises an eyebrow, he huffs. “What?”

“This how you always ask people to punch you in the face?”

“I don’t usually have to ask,” Raylan quips, and – well, Tim supposes he doesn’t. Tim might be able to pinpoint those pesky little weaknesses, but Raylan’s got a penchant for knowing exactly which buttons to press to make someone fly off the handle. And he employs it more often than is probably healthy.

Abruptly, Tim thinks about the officer’s club, thinks about Arlo and the way Raylan swallowed down his anger at the blow. And he thinks about how he was on his feet before he was even really sure what he was doing, ready to get between them, to put Raylan at his back so he wouldn’t have to turn the other cheek.

This is different. He knows that. Still, he gets close enough that he can raise his hand, brushing the tips of his fingers gently over the curve of Raylan’s mouth. It’s half acknowledgment, half stalling, giving Raylan a moment to take it back if he wants to. Tim won’t do him the disservice of asking if he’s sure, but… he can give them both a minute to settle.

Raylan smiles. “I know what I want,” he says quietly. “It ain’t the first time I’ve done this, Gutterson.”

And Tim knows without asking that it wasn’t Winona making Raylan bleed for her in bed, knows that he’ll be laying his own marks over older ones, deeper ones, ones inscribed with property of Boyd Crowder. And maybe the idea of flaunting his own bruised knuckles the next time Crowder cons him into playing a board game is more than a little appealing, the way I can break him just as well as you did will hang unspoken in the air between them.

Maybe he’s got a thing about pushing people’s buttons, too.

“No,” Tim says quietly. “I reckon it’s not.” He strokes his thumb over Raylan’s bottom lip, watching the way Raylan lets his mouth fall open, easy and expectant. He’s patient, for once in his goddamn life, and Tim can’t help but push a little, just to see how easy that facade will break.

“Say it.”

Raylan falters, and Tim is close enough to see his pupils blow wide, to hear the strangled little sound that comes spilling out of his mouth. He swallows, licking his lips reflexively, his tongue just barely brushing the tip of Tim’s thumb.

“All right,” he says, and Christ, his voice has gone ragged, almost broken with how rough it is. “I want you to hit me.”

“Good boy.”

Raylan whines, a shuddering, pleading sort of thing, and Tim has just enough time to acknowledge the fact that he pulled that sound from Raylan’s mouth before he hits him.

He pulls the punch enough that it won’t shake a tooth loose or break Raylan’s jaw, but it’s not a love-tap, either. Raylan’s head snaps to the side, and he instinctively takes a step back, not quite staggering but not entirely stable, either. Tim follows him, grabs the front of his shirt with the hand he just hit Raylan with and drags him closer, none too gently. 

“Fuck,” Raylan breathes. He looks a little dazed, drunk on more than the two beers he had, and Tim knows the feeling, how that first flood of endorphins can hit hard when it’s what you’re after. 

His hand slides up Raylan’s chest, his fingers curling comfortably around Raylan’s throat. It makes him still, suddenly, makes his next breath come slow and measured and careful even as his pulse jumps under Tim’s palm. Oh, Tim thinks, a little distantly. Oh, you need this, don’t you?

Raylan reaches up and touches his mouth, his fingertips coming away bloody. “I guess you’ve done this before, too,” he says, his eyes flicking to Tim’s face. His expression is caught somewhere between appreciation and disbelief, like this side of Tim is something he hoped for but didn’t actually expect.

Tim squeezes, just a little, just enough to make Raylan’s eyelashes flutter. “Once or twice,” he says. “Take your belt off.”

Raylan’s moving almost before Tim’s done speaking, fumbling with the buckle, until he’s finally able to tug the whole belt off and toss it aside. It clatters when it hits the ground, but Tim’s already popping the button on Raylan’s jeans with the hand that isn’t wrapped around his throat, pushing them down along with his boxers just far enough to let his cock spring free.

Raylan’s hard. It’s not a surprise, but Tim still takes a moment to look anyway, the curve of Raylan’s cock and the way the head is wet and shiny with precome sticking in his mind in a way he knows he’ll be revisiting later. 

“Enjoying the view?” Raylan asks, a little too breathy to be entirely sarcastic. Tim just hums in response, letting his gaze linger for another moment before raising his eyes to Raylan’s face.

“Could be better,” Tim says idly. “Something tells me you’d look real pretty bent over the counter.” Raylan’s cock jerks at the words, and Tim’s mouth curves into a smile. “Yeah,” he says. “Maybe. If you’re good.”

“I swear to–”

Tim holds up his hand, palm cupped, in front of Raylan’s mouth. “Spit,” he interrupts, and Raylan flashes a grin at him, bloody teeth on display. The sight makes liquid heat pool at the base of Tim’s spine, makes him ache and want, so damn desperately – almost badly enough to spin Raylan around and have him right there. 

Almost.

“Spit,” he repeats, a little more forcefully, and Raylan does. He spits into Tim’s palm, and Tim has just enough time to see that it’s more blood than saliva before he’s wrapping his fingers around Raylan’s cock and stroking him, root to tip.

“Oh, fuck.” Raylan shudders, a full-body thing, and Tim can feel the way his legs nearly go out from underneath him. With the hand he’s got pressed to Raylan’s neck, it’s easy to back him up against the fridge, to hold him there while Raylan tries to buck up into his grip. 

Blood and spit don’t make for excellent lube, and the friction has to be bordering on too much, but Raylan doesn’t seem to care. He’s desperate about it, eagerly fucking Tim’s hand like it’s all he wants, like if he doesn’t come in the next thirty seconds he’s not going to be able to take it anymore, and Tim’s just a mean enough bastard to want to hear what Raylan sounds like when he’s begging.

He loosens his grip just enough to make it frustrating, to tease at the friction Raylan really wants. “Come on,” he urges as Raylan makes a wounded little noise of complaint. “Don’t make me do all the work here, cowboy. Give me a show. Make it worth my while.”

Raylan looks down at him with half-lidded eyes, his lips parted around the ragged breaths he’s taking, and Tim barely thinks about reaching up, abandoning the hold he has on Raylan’s throat in favor of slipping his thumb into his mouth. He feels the way Raylan’s cock twitches in his hand, precome spilling down the length of it as Raylan sucks, hollowing his cheeks and flicking his tongue against the tip of Tim’s thumb like he’s sucking dick instead. 

“Good boy,” Tim murmurs again, and this time he can feel the way Raylan moans. “God, Raylan, look at you. So fucking pretty when you’re gagging for it.”

Raylan’s mouth falls open, his breath leaving him in a rush of air that’s almost a sob. “Please,” he begs, and Tim’s pants suddenly feel a little tighter, the way Raylan’s voice breaks around the word going right to his dick. “Tim, fuck, I need–”

“I know what you need.” Tim lets his fingers tighten, and Raylan does sob at that, his head knocking back against the fridge as he thrusts desperately into Tim’s hand. He’s a pretty picture, his whole body is trembling, wound tight with need and pleasure and that edge of pain that Tim’s provided, and Tim has just started wondering about how good he would feel if Tim was fucking him like that before Raylan’s stomach sinks in and he comes.

Tim strokes him through it, slow and steady, his other hand shifting to cup Raylan’s cheek. “There you go,” he murmurs, and even to his own ears he sounds a little awed. He can’t help it. Watching Raylan come down from that high, shivering with aftershocks every time Tim’s fingers brush against the head of his cock – it’s something Tim could quickly become addicted to. Might already be a little addicted to, if he’s being honest.

Raylan turns his head into Tim’s palm, smiling as his chest heaves, his cock slowly softening in Tim’s hand. “Don’t stop now,” he says, and it takes Tim a moment to really register what he’s said, for understanding to break through the sudden white noise filling his head. Raylan’s grin just widens at Tim’s shocked silence. “Unless you don’t want to get yours.”

Tim does. He’s so hard it hurts, and the reminder has him throbbing in his jeans, suddenly more than a little desperate himself. Unlike Raylan, though, he has a modicum of self-control – even if it doesn’t really look like it as he hauls Raylan away from the fridge, all but shoving him towards the counter.

“Bend over,” he says, and he has just enough time to catch how pleased Raylan looks before he’s turning his head and draping himself over the counter. 

If he had a little more patience, if the need to fucking come wasn’t making his hands shake, Tim might take the time and work Raylan open on his fingers, might fuck him deep and slow until he was begging to come again, but he tucks the thought away for the next time Raylan shows up with beer and a needy glint in his eyes. 

Next time.

What a fucking thought.

Tim pulls Raylan’s pants and boxers down the rest of the way, pushing them to the floor with his clean hand. Raylan tries to spread his legs, but with his jeans tangled around his ankles, he can’t move much – which is just about perfect for Tim’s purposes. Impatiently, he tugs Raylan’s hips back, and then slicks the insides of his thighs with Raylan’s own come, tinged pink from the blood Tim used to jerk him off.

Raylan makes a low, pained little sound as his cock twitches between his legs, still soft, but clearly trying to rally for round two. “Christ,” he mutters against the counter. Tim fumbles with his own pants, pushing them down just far enough to get his dick out, and then he’s nudging Raylan’s thighs together and fucking into the space between them.

Raylan makes another one of those sounds as the head of Tim’s cock brushes against his balls, his soft, oversensitive cock, but he doesn’t pull away. He just clenches his thighs hard enough to make stars appear on the edges of Tim’s vision, arches his back in a fluid, easy way that makes Tim want to sink his teeth into something soft – like the place where Raylan’s neck meets his shoulder.

Tim presses his forehead to Raylan’s spine, panting harshly as his thrusts become a little shaky, a little uncoordinated. He’d be embarrassed about how quickly he got to the edge if he could think of anything other than how good it feels, if Raylan wasn’t moaning and squirming underneath him like Tim was actually fucking him. 

And that’s what pushes Tim right over the edge – the thought that Raylan is enjoying this, getting off on it, even though all Tim is doing is chasing his own pleasure. His hips stutter, and he manages one, two more thrusts before he’s spilling, pulsing between Raylan’s legs as he comes all over Raylan’s soft cock and the cabinets, both.

The orgasm carves him out, leaves him feeling hollow and shaky and perfectly sated. He ends up draped over Raylan’s back, panting against his spine, and for a long moment, neither of them move. Tim’s content to catch his breath while pressed up against Raylan, and Raylan seems more than content to let him.

Eventually, though, the feeling of cooling come becomes too uncomfortable to tolerate. Tim leans back, wincing as he slides back through Raylan’s slick thighs. Before Raylan can straighten, Tim strips out of his own shirt, placing one steadying hand against the small of Raylan’s back as he cleans up him, first his thighs, and then his cock, best he can.

By the time he’s done the same for himself, Raylan is standing again, his pants done up and a familiar crooked smile slanting across his mouth. Tim realizes, belatedly, that they haven’t even kissed, though he doesn’t expect the twinge of disappointment the realization brings along with it. 

“I can call a cab,” Raylan offers, and Tim doesn’t hesitate to cuff him upside the back of the head – gently, though, barely hard enough to ruffle his hair. 

“Don’t be stupid,” he says. Raylan’s eyes flick towards the couch, and Tim isn’t good at comfort, never figured out how to be a reassuring presence, but stray dogs are stray dogs, no matter if they’re wearing cowboy hats or baseball caps. “If you bleed on my sheets, though, I’ll fucking kill you.”

Raylan grins, small and soft and real this time, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. “I think I can stick to those terms,” he says. Then his voice drops just a little, goes rough around the edges. “Shower tonight or in the morning?”

“Insatiable,” Tim grumbles. “Tonight. You think you can keep your hands to yourself?”

“Nope,” Raylan says, popping the ‘p’. And, as if to prove his point, he leans in, hesitating just long enough to give Tim a chance to pull away before he kisses him, just the barest brush of lips, oddly sweet and chaste after everything they just did. He smiles against Tim’s mouth when he breaks the kiss. “But I have it on good authority that you don’t mind.”

Tim shakes his head, but he doesn’t argue, because there’s nothing to argue. Raylan’s right. In the morning, he’ll complain about the bruise on his jaw and the soreness he can feel with every step he takes, but he’ll also cock his hip against the fridge and ask if Tim’s free on Friday, with that look in his eye like one night wasn’t enough – like no number of nights will ever be enough. 

Like he’ll keep coming back until Tim closes the door in his face, as if that will ever happen. And Tim will say yes, will say you’re buying dinner, cowboy, because he still hasn’t figured out how to tell Raylan no and mean it.

find this fic on AO3 here:

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[what-a-creative-user-nana]

An amazing au abt Morro and Lloyd being cousins

the idiots’ guide to not despising your cousin

Determined to make the best out of the worst hand, Lloyd drags his newly-living pseudo-cousin on the road trip from hell in a desperate attempt to bond. Or get rid of each other for good, they’re not sure yet. 

(This requires…a tiny bit of background, part one being that a while back i received a request for “more lloyd and sharks”. Except i misread it as “morro lloyd and sharks” which was like, odd, but i went with it and somehow ended up with 12K words of…this fic, that’s definitely 90% crack. Which brings me to part two, which is that this takes place in an entirely hypothetical au where Morro made it through the rift in s7, or somehow he’s alive the details aren’t important shh)

In his defense, Morro never would have been caught dead in this situation if he hadn’t traumatized his sort-of-cousin by possessing him two years earlier.

…alright, that’s not really a defense, but it’s the only explanation he has.

“I’m just saying,” Lloyd is…saying, as he jabs his pointer finger at him. “I could’ve been a whole foot taller if you hadn’t starved me. You stunted my growth, listening to me for five minutes is the least you can do.”

“I did not stunt your growth, you were already going to be a shrimp anyways,” Morro counters, rubbing his right eye as he tries to focus on his book instead.

Keep reading

[thorinds]

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read

[gongyussy]

studio trigger understood the assignment. i would let her wreck me.

[cirrus-grey]

[drac0line1nn1t]

Part 1 | Part 2

[gotchibam]

Absol and Togepi ko-fi doodle for Ko-fi Supporter! ☁️💤

[mellowsharkpolice]

Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 (not done yet)

Start here

[aymmidumps]

Andrew doodles

[egophiliac]

bring your son to work day