#[ thinking about this made me realize how awful i am w humans lol ]

[aclosetfan]

Beat

Prompt: music/ "it's us against the world my dear" taken from the pufftober2021 prompts by @may8elle

Characters: HIM and Sedusa

Content warning: character death and resurrection, swearing, prostitution, vague illusion to stds

a/n: I've been planning on writing something with Sedusa and HIM for a long while because I feel their relationship would be interesting, and figured now was as good a time as any! This is just one way I'd envision Sedusa's descent into evil. Lol most all of my ideas about her descent involve HIM.

As a warning, it's sort of shit. I sped through it because my pup wants to go on a walk!

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“Do you hear it—that one, two, three?” The entity moved around her, snapping its' claws to a beat only it could hear as it twirled her into the next set, “The next crescendo is here, my dear, come dance with me.”

“I haven’t danced in years,” Ima Goodwoman declined, stepping away from the smartly dressed demon, “I have—“

“Aw,” It cooed, long-legged steps quickly closing the distance she had created; a lobster-like claw caged her cheeks and squeezed, “but you used to be so good at it. What did they call you when you got up on that black, black stage—you know the one I’m talking about, right, don't you?”

They were moving again—one step to the right, a quick turn to the left—close to a perfect waltz with one step forward and one step back. Ima hadn’t moved like this in a long time. The dance was slow and practiced, and for a split second, she swore she heard the low thrum of a distant bass. Then, transfixed by the acidity in the entity's eyes—the power in its form—a dance she had once thought she had forgotten wormed its' way back into her muscle memory.

“Boogie and his boys in that dark, dark nightclub—" The demon droned on in a smooth, rumbling baritone, "—when you walked on the stage, your hips turned men to stone, when she danced, Sedusa, they said, could keep the pope glued to his seat.”

“Where am I?” She demanded, shaking her head free of the daze and pulling away from its grip, “Who are—h-how do you know me?”

“They used to dress you up, right? Jewels, money, anything you wanted?”

“I asked,” She hissed, backing away, but it matched her steps, gliding across the floor—in a state of perpetual dance—towards her, “who the fuck are you?”

“Did it make you mad?” The entity’s smile grew in size, “Did it make you mad when those snakes bit you in the back?”

Her eyebrows furrowed, “What—“

“They left you for dead when things turned to shit—Boogie and his boys, right?” It chuckled, “No more pretty underwear for Townsville’s biggest skank, right?”

She lunged for the bastard, but it spun away on the tips of its toes, laughing as she stumbled. Her heart pounded in her rib cage, and she gulped in a breath of air, willing herself with all her might to stay upright on her feet. She wasn’t used to standing like this anymore, or walking, or dancing. She couldn’t. Her heart couldn’t take it.

“Where am I?” Ima gasped, putting a hand to her heart, finding her pulse, “What is this?”

“I think you know.” Came a low whisper right in her ear. With the last bit of her strength, she swung a fist at the sound but only hit the air. With a cry, she landed painfully onto her knees.

“Get up, Ima, you don’t do that anymore, remember?” The entity quipped, pulling her up roughly by the arm from the floor.

“Careful,” she warned weakly, already imaging the purple of her bruises, “Just—just be careful.”

“Hmm?” It tilted its head, “Now, now, now, where did that fight go so suddenly?” The entity spun her in a lazy twirl, “What about that bite?” The spinning became faster and faster, “Don't tell me you're lacking in spite!”

“Stop!” She cried, dizzy and sick, “I said stop!” She brought a knee between its legs, but the creature didn’t bulk.

“Ah,” It said instead, smile ever-present, holding her steady as the room slowly stopped its dizzying spin, “there she is.”

“What are you?” She asked through gritted teeth, refusing to back down and break eye contact, slapping her hands hard against its' chest, “Answer me!”

Its’ eyebrows quirked up, and with a little “tee-hee” sort of giggle, it shrugged, grabbing at her hands to keep them still, “What am I, Ima? The answer all depends, my dear, on you.”

“That’s a shit answer,” She sneered.

It threw its head back and laughed, pulling her back into a slow sway. “It’s a shit question.” He answered as he turned her into the next step of the dance.

“How about a name then, huh?” She asked with the same bite in her tone as before, "Who the hell are you? How do you know me? Who I am?"

The entity danced them around the room, leading with ease. For a long breathless moment, it hummed along to a song she had never heard before until, finally, it spoke again, “How about you call me HIM. People tend to like that one. Humans are silly like that.”

She gasped, stumbling over their footing, but HIM didn’t mind. The demon continued to drag her along. “Does my reputation proceed me?” HIM’s voice rang high, “It tends to.”

“W-w-wh—“ She whispered, knowing fully that escape was futile. She was in the clutches of evil—fear paralyzed her.

"You're awed, no doubt," HIM ignored her stammering with a nod of its head, “of course, you are. Townsville wouldn’t be what it is without me, right?”

"The nightmare of nightmares." She whispered more to herself than to the entity something Boogie had once told her, but regardless, the utterance seemed to amuse HIM.

"Oh, that Boogie," HIM shook its head, "that one really knows how to flatter a girl, doesn't he?" HIM's voice went high to low in an instant, "That piece of shit."

Any other day, Ima would have foolhardily agreed, but her heartbeat kept quickening, and her chest kept tightening. Ima could admit she was afraid of death, but that fear paled in comparison to dancing with chaos itself. She hadn't prayed a day in her life, but she prayed then.

"You'd know that, wouldn't you? That he's a piece of shit." Then, HIM asked, "You sympathize with me, right?"

Some still-brave piece of her—the part dedicated to survival—nodded in agreement.

The entity's smile disappeared, and gently, HIM twirled her out of its hold. He kept her away at arm's length, keeping them linked together by their hands. She met HIM's gaze as evenly as she could muster until, finally, HIM pulled away completely.

"Ima, Ima, Ima" HIM tutted with a slight shake of Its head, staring straight at her chest, "the music stopped."

She floundered under his stare, confused until she registered the odd silence within her. With a horrified gasp, she slapped a hand to her chest, looking for her pulse; her heart, though, had gone still. Not a single beat was left.

"I died?" She asked.

"My condolences for your recent loss." HIM hummed, tilting its head to the side, "You must be devastated."

"But—but I-I didn't even notice?"

"Oh? No one told you?" HIM smirked, "That's the thing about being dead—you don't feel it. You're dead. You may have had a chance if you had health insurance," HIM tsked, "but whores don't have health insurance, do they?" HIM's smile was back, "Now, insurance, that was a good idea. Wish I could say it was my idea, but you little humans, sometimes you're all too smart for your own good."

"I'm not a whore!" She bit out before she could stop herself, still searching for a beat.

"You mean you weren't a whore," HIM corrected, "but you were."

"I'm a dancer." She argued.

"Oh sure, and how did you get that nasty little disease again? You know, the one that killed you?"

"Fuck you." She spat through her tears, "Fuck you!" She lunged for HIM but never made contact. It was as if she were moving through water, her vision tunneled, and a light called out to her by name.

There was a snap, and the tunnel disappeared.

"Dear, let me spoil it for you right now, that light looks pretty, but it's going down."

HIM's words froze her to her core. With horror, she realized she really was actually dead. And she wasn't going up.

"When you were a little girl, you wanted to be a ballerina, isn't that right?" HIM asked her suddenly, the sick smile plastered back on its face as the entity gestured to her outfit. The cheap hospital gown was now a beautiful red and black tutu.

"How—"

Her tutu warped and twisted into the red leotard teddy and fishnets she had worn when she had been a dancer at Boogie's clubs.

"I know most everything, darling, don't ask me how." HIM snorted, going through the synopsis of her life, "Your father hit you upside the head and told you no. So you ran away to prove him wrong, which I suppose, in a way, you did. You've always been a fantastic dancer, Ima, but you have shit taste in men." The entity paused in thought before tacking on, "Well, I guess you can blame that on your father too, huh?"

She stared wide-eyed as she processed HIM's words, speechless. When she blinked, HIM vanished, appearing behind her suddenly. Its claws clutched tightly onto her shoulders.

"I'll ask you one more time, Ima, how does that make you feel," HIM spoke in a low whisper, "knowing a guy like Boogie left you for dead? Threw you out on the streets? Made you do things for money that they promised you'd never have to do? How did that make you feel being putty in their hands? Just a throw-away toy?"

She thought of her life as HIM whispered in her ear. She remembered all of the atrocities she had faced, all of the broken promises, and the crushed dreams.

Then, she thought of her hair.

She didn't have hair anymore, not with her treatment; just like dancing, she hadn't had any hair in a long, long time. But when she did have hair, it had been beautiful, ink-black, with curls that bounced with every step.

It had been beautiful—she had been beautiful. That's why men had wanted her. And that's what men had taken from her.

"Well, HIM," She smiled, but it was far from sincere; her voice sardonic as murder played on her mind, "I guess it kind of turns a bad girl on."

"Well, well," HIM's smile split the entity's face into two as a dry chuckle escaped from its mouth, "I can help you with that."

Her head snapped to the right, meeting its eyes without fear, "How?"

"My hands, your bones, I won't let you fall to death," HIM explained in a cryptic way, "I'll make you as good as new, better even."

"What's the catch," She squinted, "there's always a catch."

There was a laugh, and in a puff of red haze, the entity disappeared from behind her. In a blink, HIM was again a few feet in front of her.

"No catch, you just owe me some of your newfound life. An acquaintance of mine, well, let's just say, he'll be conducting a science experiment soon that I just don't like, but, that's not here nor there. For now, Sedusa—" HIM extended its' claw towards her with a sinister smile, knowing already that she wouldn't refuse, "—it's us against the world, my dear, so why don't you come dance with me?"

The words stirred a dull painful thud from her chest that echoed in the silent space around them. She put a hand to her heart and breathed deeply, relishing in that feeling of life. Then, after a moment, she removed her hand from her heart and placed it in HIM's outstretched claw.

Ima Goodwoman screwed her eyes shut, counted out the beat—one, two, three—and right on her mark, Sedusa twirled into the waiting entity's arms.

HIM caught her with no hesitation, just as promised, but still, in a way—

—she fell.

[connorandersons-blog]

Connors just got new furniture for his apartment but since he’s a twink he needs to ask the himbos (nines, Markus and Gavin) for help to move them but then they start competing to try impress Connor at all cost

So I kinda forgot I wrote this lol! Sorry!! But here it is!

No warnings, just pure cuteness. If you wanna see Connor’s outfit here it is:

Shirt Skirt Socks

Hope you enjoy!

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The time had come he was facing his most difficult enemy, one that had lurked in the shadows and waited for him to come. He should have heeded the warnings, the rumors, and even jokes about this, but he thought he could do it by himself. Boy had he ever been more wrong. 

Ikea had truly bested him. It was stupid and silly; he could use his access to the internet, but he'd wanted to do this like a human. So, like a human, he called for some help. 

Nines showed up first, though Gavin would say walking through the door didn't mean that as he was there at the same time. Then Markus sprinted over, his clothes a bit rumbled from running all the way from Jericho. 

"What's the emergency?" He asked, not out of breath only because he was an android. 

Connor spread his arms around his new but small apartment, showing the boxes of furniture. "I can't build these. I'm trying to do it the human way but it's just not working." 

He pouted as Gavin broke into laughter, but Nines slapped him on the back of his head and he quickly shut up. "Please help me." 

"Of course, are we allowed to do this the 'android way'?" Nines asked, scanning all the boxes for the contents. 

Connor shrugged half-heartedly, biting his lip. "I mean, you can, I guess. I thought it might be fun if we did it all together." 

He wanted to spend time with them too, and this seemed like it could be fun. He'd order pizza for Gavin, and he'd make some thirium drinks for the other two if they wanted it. 

"Alright, let's get to work," Markus said, pushing up his sleeves. He looked at the other two, something passing between them that Connor was unaware of. There seemed to be a glint in each of their eyes as they nodded and picked something to build. 

Connor was a little baffled that they wouldn't be building it together, but maybe this would get it done faster. 

Once again, he was proved very wrong. Their separate pieces were thrown across the floor, mixing with the others and causing more than one person to use the wrong thing. 

Connor tried to help, but it was a bit too amusing to not just watch. Gavin kept cursing and grumbling about how the furniture was stupid, Nines was more silent, but his LED was stuck on yellow, and Markus looked more focused than he had during the whole revolution. 

Connor sent the order out for some pizza, and within that time it was Gavin who had finished his first. It was a small side table that would be going in his bedroom. 

He didn't realize it looked like he was rewarding Gavin when the pizza came, but the other two sent deadly glares Gavin's way. 

Gavin had smirked and took the pizza, eyes going soft when he looked to Connor. "Thanks, Tincan, I'm starving." 

Connor nodded, going to get him a plate from the opened box. "You've done really well, it's the least I can do." He reached over and gave him a small side hug, once again missing the glares it got Gavin. 

He sat back down with a new piece of furniture, a slice of pizza hanging from his mouth as he read over the instructions. 

"Oh, um, does anyone need help? I'm so sorry I've just been standing around." He was being more than a bad host for not even offering to help. 

"No!" All three said at once. 

Connor blinked in surprise, not having expected such a firm answer. "Are you sure? I can keep everyone's parts in order." He wanted to help somehow considering it was his furniture being built. 

Markus smiled up at him, and Connor melted a little inside. "It's ok, but if you want to help you can." He reached out his palm up towards him. Connor slid his hand into his, feeling that spark he was addicted to. 

Markus's hands were so soft and much warmer than Connor's. He could hold his hands for hours if given the chance, but he sunk down onto the floor and started sorting the pieces. 

The boys went back to work, but all were more than distracted by Connor and how he was sitting. None of them were surprised by the cute lace-up skater skirt or his white socks that had cat toe beans on his foot. What caught their eyes was the way he sat, W-style, and how his soft blue dute cloud sweater kept slipping off one of his shoulders as he leaned forward to grab things. 

Connor, of course, had absolutely no idea at how he looked or what it was doing to the boys. He'd long since grown comfortable wearing any clothes he wanted, regardless of how humans gendered it. He liked the skirt and how it fanned out when he spun (though it showed his ass, not that anyone was complaining about that). The sweater was soft and didn't make him want to rip off his skin when his sensitivity got too bad. And the socks? Well, those were just adorable so no one could blame him for wanting to wear those. 

Once he had things sorted, he smiled to himself, putting his hands on the ground between his legs and leaning on his arms. He brushed a few curls away that fell into his face, missing the looks of awe and enchantment on all their faces. "Right! Markus, Nines do either of you want a thirium drink?" 

"That would be appreciated." Nines managed to get out without sounding odd. Markus could only nod and hope he didn't look stupid. 

Connor hopped up and made his way to the kitchen, giggling as he used his socks to slide to the counter. Gavin didn't even try to disguise his stare as he watched Connor's ass. He had to swallow thickly when Connor bent over to grab two cups. 

He quickly looked away when Connor turned back around to come and hand the two their cups. "I hope you like, Kamski sent me a few things to test out. It's supposed to taste like strawberry lemonade, but I can get you plain thirium if you prefer it." 

Both took large sips of it, equally surprised at how good it tasted. It wasn't overly sugary, and the lemon taste was just strong enough to make you think there could be fresh juice in it. Even if they hadn't liked it, they still would have drunk it.  

"This is good, thanks Con." Markus nodded, trying to focus back on the project at hand. 

Markus and Nines both finished their work at the same time, smiling smugly as Connor praised them. 

After that things started to get heated. They all wanted to impress Connor, working as fast as they could. Gavin wasn't above snagging someone else's nails when Connor wasn't looking, trying to get himself some extra time. 

Markus and Nines bickered about the right way to put some things together, and Connor has to step in and look over the poorly written instructions. As it turned out neither were correct, not that Connor minded. He was just glad they were all together and having fun. 

He moved between the three, helping where he could. He didn't mind getting close, leaning on the arm to see the instructions or reaching around them to grab something. Gavin was shameless in his touches, even going so far as to 'accidentally' pull Connor into his lap. 

Nines was more reserved, but he did beam (or as close to it as he could get) when Connor pressed a kiss to his cheek. It was quick and given because Nines had complimented Connor, but he'd gladly hold it over the other two. 

Markus was open to touching Connor since they did so frequently. They hugged all the time and even cuddled a few times when Connor or Markus had a long day. Their hands touched a lot, though that only made Nines jealous since he knew that android hands were considered more intimate. 

Connor giggled when things started being thrown, not sure why but loving it nonetheless. He dodged things as they flew, making sure nothing would get damaged. He knew for a fact that none of them would hurt one another or damage the apartment, so he didn't try to stop their antics. 

When everything was built it was time to move the furniture. Nines had offered to do it all considering he was the strongest, but Markus and Gavin protested, saying they would help too. 

Connor rolled his eyes as they argued over who would get the heaviest, walking over and moving it himself. It was like they forgot he was incredibly strong, a very close second to Nines. 

By the time night came everything was in place and Connor couldn't help but get misty-eyed. This was his home; he had his own place. Somewhere he'd be safe, and he could even have his friends come if they needed to get away. 

He sat down on the bed, the others climbing on after Connor nodded. Connor was in the middle, Markus on one side, Gavin on the other, and Nines beside him. 

"Thank you for doing this." Especially considering they all could have done more important things. Markus was a very busy man being the leader of the androids, Nines and Gavin probably had cases piled up just like Connor did. 

"Of course, I am positive in saying that we'd all do anything for you." Nines reached over and put his hand on Connor's arm. 

Gavin and Markus nodded, both leaning closer to Connor. They were all exhausted after a long day, and none wanted to leave, not yet. Connor didn't even want them to leave, glad to have his friends there. The only thing to make it perfect was if Hank had the day off too so he'd have his friends and family. 

He wasn't sure why they'd all rush over to help with something so trivial, but he was glad it happened. His eyes started slipping closed, but he did make a small realization before slipping into stasis. 

'Fuck, they all like me.'

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans Are Space Orcs, “Left Face!”

Just something quick for you this morning . Wanted to let you guys know that I have about a week before being back at school, so if you have any ideas you want to see happen, I would like you to let me know so I can do any planing now that I have time. Thinking becomes harder when at college lol.

Anyway thanks! :) 

The Rundi councilwoman was very nervous. She had only met humans a few times, five times, not that she was counting, and the creatures unnerved her more than anything ever had. It was a strange experience, a first look into their eyes and you were convinced you were looking into the eyes of a predatory beast, but look closer and you realized the guile and intelligence that drove the creature.  An intelligence that lead it to folding space before it even bothered with light speed. 

It confused her and scared her. She just wasn’t sure how the handle the creature, whether she should treat it more like a dangerous beast or ore like a reasoning sentient being. That thought was still undecided as she walked from the galactic assembly council chambers with her guard, which had been heavily augmented considering who they were meeting with.

The doors ahead of her were open allowing in the light of their main sequence star, a warm yellow in color, and their sky which was a pleasant purple-blue dotted with clouds. It was a pleasant enough day outside though she was racked with what seemed like the weight of an entire galaxy on her back. The Drev war was taking its toll on her. She would very much have liked to accept the suggestions of the Vrul and leave the creatures to rot on their primitive planet, but they were dangerous and intelligent, and they had made threats to the entire galaxy. Destroying their manufacturing plants was the only option, and one that was made increasingly difficult by the Drev proclivity for war.

Then had come the treaty signing with the humans, and out of goodwill they had pledged their own soldiers to the cause with the promise that they did, in fact, know a thing or two about war.

Why didn’t that surprise her?

With a deep breath, she stepped out into starlight, and was met with a small army of humans. 

There were dozens of the creatures all lined up in perfectly formed rows before the assembly chambers. It was difficult to tell the difference between them as they were all dressed similarly to each other in those strange human garments. The patterns atop them made it very difficult to focus on their forms as they stood straight and still in the morning sun. She shouldn't have felt so afraid, but somehow she couldn't help but feel a  small sense of threat with the way they held their perfect rows, with their perfect posture and their unflinching faces staring straight forward.

She had seen humans before, they never remained still, so this just seemed to be a….. A demonstration of their might by showing her they could force such a volatile species into absolute stillness.

That was all accept for a group of humans that stood out in front of her. They were wearing similar uniforms to those of their soldiers, though they had more shiny bits on them . The amount of shiny things worn by humans seemed to be an indicator of their status, also the ones that stood on higher ground seemed to be a good indication. She felt her innards crawl as the humans turned to look at her, their eyes darting the small dark apertures in their centers expanding and contracting as they licked over her body. Just watching them made her dizzy and she wondered how they did not make themselves sick with the strange movement.

They stood taller as she approached, and she shrunk down a little wondering if they intended the movement as an aggression or a show of dominance towards her. As she drew near the frontmost human raised its chin to her exposing it’s throat, “Good morning chairwoman, it is a pleasure to meet with you again.”

Inside she was internally panicking. All of their features were so much the same that she had a hard time remembering if she had ever met this human before. She frantically looked over the shiny bits on his clothing struggling to remember what she had been told about  their ranking falling into great relief when she finally remembered, “Oh, Admiral it is indeed an honor to speak with you again. We cannot express how deeply we thank you for this show of goodwill.”

“It has been a human tradition for centuries to help one’s allies in war, though it has not always pleased the civilian masses.” he held out one of his claw-tipped hands towards the assembled soldiers, “Take a look, see what you think. All of these men and women have been vetted, tested, vaccinated and are ready to fight for the cause of intergalactic peace.”

She nervously glanced down at their still standing ranks and swallowed, “Are…. they always so still.”

The man laughed, “Only when ordered. They are disciplined to the last movement and the last order.” We will demonstrate.” The man snapped sharply on his heels, “ATTENTION!” 

The chairwoman stepped back in shock and surprise as all the humans, in one synchronized group snapped their legs together brought their arms to their sides, “PRESENT ALL!” A hundred arms snapped upwards as if they were about to bash themselves in the head but stopped right below their temples eyes never moving.”AS YOU WERE” Again, like they were all reflections of each other the humans did as told never deviating. 

 “RIGHT….” Heads snapped to the right, “FACE.” With synchronized foot movements they turned to the right.

“ABOUT FACE!” They all turned in the opposite direction.

He leaned in closer to her, “Let's play a little game. DROP OUT DRILL EVERYONE!”

She stares don in concerned awe as the human began barking commands.

“ LEFT FACE, RIGHT FACE. RIGHT FACE, RIGHT FACE, LEFT FACE, ABOUT FACE, LEFT, AS YOU WERE, ABOUT FACE, RIGHT FACE, LEFT FACE.”

The square was filled with the clattering of the human’s feet on the ground in perfect rhythmic synchronization. The longer it took them to drop out the faster the commands came until the humans were practically spinning in circles on the field below.

“W-what is the point of this/” She stammered 

The human turned to look at her, his incredibly mobile face bringing the opening of his mouth up at the corners, “It is a demonstration of their ability to follow orders and pay attention. What I am about to show you next is historically the methods used for intimidation, demonstration of superior military might, and synchronization.”

 Other humans had moved into position behind him and began barking orders forming the humans into tight columns and groups. Around the square, other faces were peering from buildings trying to determine what the commotion was about, “FORWARD MARCH.” 

“LEFT, LEFT, LEFT RIGHT LEFT.” The humans walked past never stopping boots thundering against the ground at the same moment sending chills up her spine as she watched them move in perfect harmony, their bodies no more than rhythm turned into motion. They turned spun, and walked backwards through each other heads never turning to look where they were going, perfectly trusting the commands of their officers.

She found their method of intimidation to be working, and so seemed the rest of her people as they vanished back into the buildings with great haste.

When the demonstration was over she turned to the human, dreading the question she was about to ask, “And what military technology can you bring to the field?”

“That is a good question chairwoman.” He motioned to one of his soldiers, who hustled over carrying…. Well it looked like a big black stick with knobby protrusions. He took it carefully in one arm keeping one end pointed towards either the ground or the sky as he demonstrated, “This is a piece of military technology that hasn’t changed for the past thousand years accept to be stronger and more accurate. He pulled a lever at the side of the weapon locking open a tiny chamber.

“A round.” He ordered, and his soldiers rushed forward.

The human held up the little gold and copper-tipped cylinder up to her eye level/. “This, that pointy bit on the end is a bullet inside the gold part will be an explosive powder.” She stepped back, he held up the black stick, “This is a rifle, the bullets are fed into the chamber, the little hole right here where the firing pin will strike the back of the casing lighting the explosive and sending the bullet in a controlled explosion through the barrel at a high rate of speed into your target. Once inside, the more delicate metal is designed to break apart and tumble ripping your enemy apart from the inside.”

She stared at him in shock and horror, “You, you use explosives to hurl speeding shrapnel at your enemies.”

“Sort of accept for the times that we use explosives to hurl actual shrapnel of our enemies, then we just generally pack the explosives into a ball and throw them at each other.”

She swallowed hard, “I… I and what do those do?”

“Rip of limbs, hurl you to the ground, causing a pressure wave so serious that it causes the lungs to fill with fluid, or just kill you instantly, one of a multitude of options. We create them in all sizes, we shoot some from really big guns, drop them from the sky or even bury them in the ground to be triggered by the pressure of a misplaced foot long after we aren't there anymore.”

Was he threatening her, was she being threatened?

“I, I see, why-why do you not simply use energy weapons.”

The human sighed, “We tried those once upon a time, but it turns out the radius of an effective blast is closer than we would like, and like a taser some humans can sort of just walk them off. Better to rip open their insides to make sure they can’t get back up.”

She was feeling a bit feint, “I will have you know that the Drev wear full plate armor, and have a hard covering carapace.”

“In that case we will use armor piercing rounds. Just make this thing a bit heavier add some tungsten, punch through their hard outsides and into the squishy insides.”

She swallowed  hard, “Could you please not describe that so graphically?”

The human tilted his head at her, “I wasn’t.” His strange toothy expression returned, “Anyway each one of my soldiers will be carrying one of these, as well as a small version. A few of them will have the model that can shoot these over distances of thousands of feet.” I think we will have your little Drev problem dealt with in short order.”

She stammered and swallowed hard, “I…. I sure hope that you do.”

He reached out patting her on the arm, and she tried not to flinch, humans were very touchy, and she had a feeling that maybe it had something to do with dominance rituals, but she couldn’t be sure.

She just didn’t want to be touched by something that she knew could rip her arms off.

What had she gotten herself into.

[jadedragoness]

Battle Ground 1st Read Through Reaction

Can I just start off by saying, Holy crap. Chicago got curb-stomped hard. So freaking hard.

I really, really, enjoyed the story. I pretty much didn’t want to stop reading as soon as I cracked open the covers of the book but I did have to have periods of giving myself a break and just put the book down and go do something sensible like do the dishes instead of screaming or shaking my fists at the sky like a lunatic.

I do admit that as a story the continuous battle was draining and exhausting to read. But I think that was the point so I don’t really count it against the story. It is something important to know going in, and why I’d recommend breaks.

Let’s talk spoilers… just assume spoilers for everything Dresden Files related too. Ummm, also this runs long.

First Let’s Me Tell You About the Thing Which Exploded My Brain:

1. MARCONE IS FREAKING KNIGHT OF THE BLACKENED DENARIUS! WHHHAAAAT!!

...okay, I’m done screaming about it.

OF FREAKING THORNED NAMSHIEL!!! ...I lied, I wasn’t done. How long? What? When? I didn’t see this coming at all! And I’m so freaking torn about how to feel about it.

I am so damned (heh) relieved that Marcone’s didn’t die at Ethniu’s hands. I seriously freaked at the moment she snapped his neck that I went into instant denial and my eyes skipped several paragraph down out of the desperate wish to see if it was trick. I’m also very, very delighted that Marcone is now so much harder to kill. I mean, he was already pretty hard to kill being Marcone but this just takes it up to eleven.

On the other hand, a Fallen Angel is so freaking dangerous. *makes gargling worried noises* And while it looks like Marcone appears to have worked out a partnership with the coin I can’t help but remember that when we were first introduced to this Fallen he was called ‘Thorned Namshiel’ and not by the name of his bearer. So he appears to be the type to subsume the human who holds him. Which makes me worried that Marcone could be on that path and not even realize it. *goes back to making gargling worried noises*

I do find reassuring that the coin is on a chain around his neck and therefore easily removed and not buried in his body like some of the other Denarians will do.

However, I am feeling a little disappointed Marcone is no longer purely a ‘vanilla’ mortal who stood toe-to-toe eldritch beings and survived by simply being smarter, deadlier and amazeballs. I’ll miss that. I always thought that it was especially hilarious how much Harry would freak out about Marcone and how deadly Marcone is when even in the same room as scary monsters (like in ;Skin Game;, I mean seriously he was in the same room as Nicodemus and Harry was hardcore worried about upsetting Marcone… hilarious!) when Marcone was a vanilla mortal… but now he’s not.

And yet, now Marcone knows how to sling around magic and is incredibly hard to kill. *thumbs up at Jim Butcher* Yeeeessssss! *is so happy*

Although… if Harry doesn’t end up making all manner of ‘thorny’ jokes at Marcone I’m going to be very disappointed. =D

Things I Sorta Expected:

1. Murphy dying.

Now, I totally bawled at the scene after Rudolph shot Murphy. I especially lost it when Harry kept referring to her body as an ‘empty house.’ ARGH. But I wasn’t actually surprised that she died. I did feel like I got a very strong sense it was going to happen. Actually, from how often Harry’s thoughts seemed to be pinging in that direction I was partially convinced his wizardly ‘insight’ was kicking in and trying to warn him.

And he tried. He really did.

But ultimately it was Karrin’s own choice to be away from safety and be her badass self.

2. Hendricks’ dying.

I’ve actually have read the short story ‘Monsters’ from Goodman Grey’s POV and I’ve read it a little over a week ago and in it he notes Marcone’s bodyguard as a dumb Einherjaren. Which made my brain go: Whoa, wait… where’s Hendricks? Is Hendricks dead? Did Hendricks die and become in Einherjaren? Or is he off doing something and one of those guys is taking over for a bit? Fuck, Hendricks is dying in ‘Battle Ground’ isn’t he?

So I wasn’t exactly surprised, but I was still very, very upset. And when Ethniu picked up Hendrick’s corpse and smashed him into Marcone that’s where I lost it. Like totally lost it while also being worried about Marcone at the same time. Gah.

Curveballs I Did Not Expect:

1. Marva and Drakul. The deaths of Wild Bill and Yoshimo at the hands of Black Court vampires and the threat that we may see them again as Black Court? Did not see that coming. I expected to lose Wardens but not like that.

...and I may be in denial about Chandler (I like the guy, okay) being dead. Please. He’s a wizard. He’ll be back. Of course as soon as I wrote that I was instantly struck of by the thought of: “Yeah, but will you like what you get back?”

2. Also Drakul is a starborn? I get more and more curious about what it means! I’m with Harry in frothing in frustration over how people won’t tell him already! *screams into the void*

Also Kincaid worked for this guy? *shudders*

3. Marcone and Thorned Namshiel. *gurgles*

4. Justine had Nemesis in her! And for years?!

How in the hell are they going to save her? Mab barely saved Lea and she’s Mab!

Also I thought Nemesis was very infectious. Is there anyone else around who has been infected? Maybe among Harry’s friends with Justine as the vector? *is worried*  

5. Not getting a resolution on the situation with the Svartalves. Or did I miss something? Seriously, the ending of the book felt like it was missing about 30 more pages to wrap up and work a bit more on characters.

Things I Did Not Like or Was Disappointed By:

1. Rudolph getting to live. Fuck that guy.

Okay, I understand that his not getting murdered at Harry’s hands wasn’t really for Rudolph’s sake but for Harry’s own soul. I just want him dead. Dammit, is it too much to ask for him to have been shot by a turtleneck or stomped by a Jotun or splattered by Formor acid that slowly ate away at his guts as screamed until his internal organs slowly dissolved?

I have may have a bloodthirsty vengeful streak. And yet: want.

2. I also may have narrowed my eyes at the end of the book there after Harry said that Marcone was dropping off the keys and then it turned out Lara had picked them up instead. I may have also said aloud, “Butcher, are you Marcone-blocking me?” And he was, dammit, because I didn’t get to read more Marcone.

… I do not have a Marcone-addiction.

3. This is more disappointment than dislike but I didn’t get nearly as much Goodman Grey as I thought I’d get. Aw.

4. Harry not getting to talk to Ivy. *grumbles*

Things I Really Liked/Loved

1. Harry got his home back! And it’s the castle! The castle he all but swindled out of Marcone. Yes, I love it! I love Marcone but doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it when Harry get the best of him too. Anyway, I just love the fact that Harry is claiming parts of his life back from the traumatic heart-stomp events which occurred in ‘Changes’. *bounces in excitement* Now he just needs an office!

2. Marcone. Always. Actually I was a little afraid when he vanished after the battle started that there would be very little Marcone in this book too because Butcher is so Marcone-stingy.

3. That Harry is no longer a member of the White Council. I mean, they’ve been pretty useless to helping Harry out. And honestly, Harry has gotten so many headaches from them that I can’t help but think this is a weight he needed to shed.

Although, it really feeds my ‘Harry needs to become a member of the accords in his own right’ thing again. Seriously, he’s the Warden of Demonreach. He bound a Titan. It needs to happen. Ooh, or the Paranet can see about becoming an Accorded organization in their own right and then Harry can be with them. Yeeeessss.

4. Bob is back in Harry’s hands! Freaking yes! Whoohooo! About time! Oooh, wait, has Bob meet Bonnie? Can we read this happening? OMG, I want it so much… or would Harry be too horrified to let Bob influence his spirit-kid? LoL.

5. Seeing Toot-toot and Lacuna again! And when Harry pulled his ‘Za Lord’ maneuver and got the Guard and a ton of other fairies to help in the defense of… well, pizza in Chicago, that was great I punched the air.

 The I gloated even more over how Mab then explained Harry had scared some of the others with that move. Heh.

6. River Shoulders was so damn badass and amazeballs and like Wild Bill said, I’ll take two.

7. Michael and Charity already knowing that Molly is the Winter Lady and being the best parents and loving and accepting and… so much love for those two.

EVERYTHING MARCONE… yes, he’s getting his own heading

1. Gah, I love him. I have mentioned this before. That one of the first things he says to Harry when Harry is staring at him as he changes clothes is to paraphrase ‘did you forget how to get dressed or is this an awkward sexual reconnaissance’ nearly killed me. I was caught between giggling and choking on my own spit and then I nearly fell off the couch. Just remembering about it now, has me giggling at the computer screen.

2. Also, I find that ‘Excellent’ response from Marcone after they exchange threats to be fascinating. This was one of those points were I put the book down and wondered what Marcone meant by that. Then I had the thought that maybe in his own fashion, Marcone was doing the same thing that practically everyone had been doing with Harry since he got back from being shot. He was checking to see if Harry was still the same man he’d been before. And from Harry’s response, Yup. He was. So: “Excellent.”

Having also read ‘Skin Game‘ and how cold Marcone is in the end there? The difference with this Marcone versus the one where Mab was listening? I find that interesting too!

3. When Marcone showed up to the fight! So freaking badass! Love how he led the fighters.

Also I find it significant that both of the guys who are obsessed with protecting Chicago were the ones who manifested ‘banners’ which drew humans to the fight.

Really cool. And it reminds me all over again that for all their different life philosophies Marcone and Dresden do agree on the mantra of: Protect Chicago.

4. This book, especially the lake beach scene reminded me so hard why I love the banter between Harry and Marcone so much. When it just seems to be the two of them and they aren’t actively threatening each they have such a great rapport! Loved reading it! Wished we got more of it in the books.

5. Okay, with Hendricks’ death I’m rather worried for Marcone. ‘Even Hand’ gave the impression Hendricks often acted as a very gentle conscience to Marcone. Losing him has got to be hitting Marcone hard. And that I now know he only has a Fallen angel on his shoulder?

Yup, growing more worried for Marcone at the time.

6. I’m also wondering about what was said in that exchange between Mab and Marcone on the roof when Harry called out Marcone for about being the Lord of Chicago needing to be more than talk. Okay, I can guess. I just really, really want to hear the words because I bet Marcone was badass.

7. The Lord of Chicago giving Harry the title of the Wizard of Chicago? Freaking loved it.

8. Also Marcone freaking purred. Purred. “Prove it,” he purred. “Hero.”

I think Jim Butcher is trying to give me a heart attack or cause me to crack my skull on floor because I nearly fell off the couch again.

9. With Marcone now outed as a magic-wielding Denarian does that mean we get more of him in the future books? Because I freaking hope so... I say this even knowing I’d have the exact same wish even without him being a magic-wielding Denarian.

Things I Found Completely Hilarious

1. Marcone’s opening lines to Harry. Heh. Forever Lol!

2. Is Lacuna a tooth fairy? Her obsession with teeth cracked me up so much.

3. That Mab smacking both Lara and Harry with those wedding plans. *snickers* I mean, I find it totally hilarious because of how gobsmacked both of them were about it. I don’t expect Harry to go through with it at all, not with how we know how seriously he takes relationships. So either he’s going to get out of being the Winter Knight or find some other way to defy Mab. Or hell, maybe Lara gets them both out of it by marrying someone else first. Honestly, I can’t see her agreeing to marry someone who’d burn her with a touch.

Pure Speculation or Things that Just Excite Me for the Future:

1.  Now I bet you’re all wondering why I’m not more upset about Murphy or Hendricks dying. Simply put, I’m 100% convinced that when both Murphy and Hendricks wake up in Valhalla, in drinking (with quaffing I bet) halls full of grunting, fighting obsessed Vikings and they will go ‘Nope, I’m out!’ three seconds later. Those two? Especially knowing how much trouble Harry and Marcone have got to be getting up to without them? They’d probably join forces and stage a breakout to get back.

This is what occurred to me the moment Gard explained what happened to their bodies. The whole not come back until everyone who knew them was gone, yeah, right. Not happening.

Or, jeeze, I can’t image Marcone not thinking this was a possibility and then not having made plans to bust Hendricks out and you know Murphy would demand to come along too. And with Thorned Namshiel providing help? I can see this happening.

...okay, this idea sneaked into my head but now I’m seeing Murphy (having busted out of Valhalla with a bunch of Einherjaren) and learning about the upcoming nuptials between Lara and Harry leads a raiding party (what else, with Vikings!) to bride nap (groom nap?) Harry away before he says “I do.“ Heh. This would be hilarious.

2. I’m sorta vibrating with the possibilities of what the future will bring with a Chicago that is waking up to the dangers of the supernatural while at the same time having learned that it is possible to stand up to monsters and kill them. Especially, what this means when bad things go down in Chicago again, because of course they will. And there may be more people joining in the fight.

Hmm, can the Paranet be deployed as a means of bringing vanilla mortals in or educating them so they don’t go after the good guys? They do sort of stand in the middle, more so than Harry. *lost in thoughts*

3. While I’m actually a little surprised that Ebenezar made it out alive as I actually had him down on my ‘Will Probably Die List’. I was relieved as I hope to see him and Harry actually have that conversation which Harry wants. Seriously, if only for Maggie’s sake, who shouldn’t have her first and last memory of her Great-Grandpa be him being a total jerk.

4. Harry can bind the prisoners of Demonreach to do his bidding? *blinks* Ooh, the possibilities.

5. These Librarians, the Men in Black of the DF ‘verse, sound amazing and I can’t wait to see them show up.

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 1

Hullo and welcome to the kdrama life @camsthisky​! The following list is not in any particular order, other than the fact that I start with a more rom/com vibe and head toward more romantic/action or action. All the following kdramas are set in the modern day, and part 2 of my recs for you will be either darker kdramas set in present day or historical dramas.

Let the list begin!

1. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 

Do Bong Soon is a v smol woman who has super strength and who wants 1. To create her own video game 2. Get her police officer crush to return her affections. Which like, police officer is kinda cute but he ain’t that special. Bong Soon winds up becoming a bodyguard to Ahn Min Hyuk, the extremely rich, kinda spoiled, ridiculously extra CEO of a gaming company who does not like the police for secret reasons, and sadly does not have a good relationship with his family. (He a lonely boy underneath everything.) Min Hyuk finds out about Bong Soon’s powers, is in TOTAL awe of her, offers to train her in fighting, and literally falls head over heels for her.

The caveat with this show is there is a subplot or two that annoy me, BUT I just use the 10 second skip button and it is totally worth it because the romance is super cute—SUPER CUTE (also I have a list of favorite actors and Park Hyung Sik is def on it—one minute he is an adorkable, blushing bby the next he can be intense and sad)

He cute

2. Her Private Life: 

Hello fake-dating!! Ryan Gold (an adoptee who didn’t live in Korea for a while) is a former artist who stopped painting because he couldn’t deal with his Stendhol (?) syndrome (among other traumas). Deok Mi is the classy art curator of a famous museum who definitely does not have any secrets she wants to keep from the world—well, other than the fact that she is the number one fangirl of kpop idol, Cha Shi-an (who also appreciates art) and has a major crush on him. Ryan becomes director of the art museum and there is a whole thing with getting Shi-an involved in an art show.

Following this and a series of unfortunate events a false rumor starts that Deok Mi and and Shi-an ARE dating. It’s a little complicated to summarize, but basically what you need to know is that Ryan and Deok Mi become a fake couple so there won’t be a scandal for Shi-an or violence done to Deok Mi by rabid fangirls. I enjoy the fake-dating trope a lot, and how it becomes real for both of them! The leads are played by Kim Jae Wook and Park Min Young, who both have incredible range. Lots of soft moments in this one! Good kisses, a scene where the faves bake together, and also Ryan wears a lot of deep v-neck shirts and jackets which is an attack on me personally.

The show also contains a bit of angst, which I LOVE. Hand-holding becomes an important theme 😊

RYAN NO

3. Crash Landing on You: Rich South Korean heiress/fashion designer Se-ri accidentally winds up in a North Korean village, and really REALLY wants to go home. Mostly because there are no scented candles or spa-like bathtubs in the vicinity, but also because she could easily disappear into a NK jail and never return. A North Korean captain named Ri Jeong Hyeok finds her and decides not to turn her because, one, he’s a good guy who doesn’t want to turn an innocent person over to what might be her death, and two, turning her over might get his four underlings in trouble for reasons. Said underlings are his family, basically, and they are a deLIGHT. One is an argumentative proud sort who likes to drink and to feel important and who tries to provoke (and gets provoked by) Se-ri at every opportunity, one is a lover of banned South Korean dramas, one is a 17 year old bby who misses his mom, and one is the silent but most loyal follower of the captain. 

Besides all these people, there are two other characters (including a surprisingly wise conman) who become faves and major players in the plot.

There is a great mix of humor, romance, found family, and angst, and I love it very much. A few things don’t go the way I want them to near the end, but a bit of imagination and fanfic can fix anything 

ALSO I FORGOT THE CAPTAIN GETS SUPER SULKY FROM TIME TO TIME AND IT IS HILARIOUS

Show of hands, who thinks they will meet again

4. Are You Human Too: A FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL! TIME!

What do you do when your husband dies and your evil mega-rich father-in-law takes your son away from you and keeps you from seeing him ever? Well, if you are scientist with more genius than positive coping methods, you build yourself a robot son who looks exactly like your real son. Great solution, am I right?

Nam Shin III is the name of my favorite robot son, played by the inestimable Seo Kang Joon. He is the purest bby you will ever meet, being designed so that he never lies and so that he will immediately go to hug anyone who cries. He seems quite a contrast to the bitter human Nam Shin, who hates his gilded prison life, hates his Grandpa, and tries to sneak away from his right hand man, Secretary Ji Young Hoon, his only friend in the world. The girl in the show is Kang So Bong, an ex-UFC fighter who was so badly injured she had to quit. She is at first a bit jaded and mercenary because of her past, but she has a golden heart that just needs to be reminded of its existence.

Not going into details to avoid spoilers, but everything upends when the robot Nam Shin has to take the place of the human Nam Shin. The show is a soft, funny, angsty exploration of what it means to be human, with some good found family throughout. The character development is phenomenal, and the connection between So Bong and Nam Shin III is *chef’s kiss*. I just want to give a shout out to Seo Kang Joon who plays a duel role like you wouldn’t believe, to SKJ’s smile, to the soundtrack, and to the character of Young Hoon, a loyal, steady, and self-sacrificing secretary that we do not deserve  (gosh tho he looks good in blue!)

Look at my robot son getting a long-looked for affirmation! (his lil smile!!!

5. W: Two Worlds: 

This show unique because it  meta as HELL! Oh Yeon Joo is a junior doctor and the daughter of a webtoon artist whose big hit, W, is coming to a close. Much to her surprise, she gets pulled into the world of the comic where she encounters and saves the main character, Kang Chul, a former Olympic shooting champion who was blamed for the murder of his entire family, and whose sole desire is to find the real killer. It’s a good romance between them, and I also love Kang Chul’s relationship with his hyung, which, tho it is not always a main focus, is present and wonderful. Kang Chul himself is both intelligent and adorably bratty, charismatic and angsty, soft and fierce, and he is one of my favorite kdrama characters for sure.

As for the meta, the show does a fantastic job exploring the rules of the comic world, of how one can enter and leave, the importance and power of main characters and supporting characters, and the purpose of an author. There is always another twist coming, and it is just so much fun!

UM SIR PLS POINT THAT ELSEWHERE

6. Healer: 

I watched half this show and never realized that the female lead is played by Park Min Young, same actress as in Her Private Life. Someone had to tell me lol! She’s just so good at playing different people. In this show, she is Chae Young Shin, a reporter for a celebrity tabloid who has big dreams of becoming a famous reporter who investigates stories that actually mean something. She is a bit quirky, very cute, very brave, and probably one of my favorite female leads. She lives with her dad above his coffee/teashop bakery and is friends with all the ex-cons he has defended while doing his other job of lawyering.

Anyway this show is more of a romantic/action drama. To get an idea of the titular Healer, picture what you would get if you took some of Batman and Nightwing’s aesthetics (wearing black, hanging out on rooftops, punching people, flipping around, etc) and put them into a night courier who likes to watch National Geographic and dream about one day going off to an island where he can live all by himself for the rest of his days because oh yeah he is a loner whose only friend is an older woman who sets up his jobs and whom he has never actually met.

There is also an older reporter that Young Shin looks up to, the fun tabloid office where she works, a heck lot of mystery surrounding some tragedy involving a group of reporter best friends/found family back in the 80’s/90’s, and of course both members of the OTP have childhood trauma that has made them who they are today. One of my favorite things that happens in the show is that Healer has to go undercover for a while, Clark Kenting it up in Young Shin’s tabloid office, which overnight becomes a real news agency for reasons.

The action is LOTS of fun, and the romance is really soft and cute, and better still, when there is a misunderstanding or something that gets in their way, they almost immediately talk about it and resolve issues. They TRUST each other and give the benefit of the doubt where many tv couples would break up or get in big fights. I find it (plus the character development) very refreshing.

I couldn’t find a gif of my favorite fight sadly. This will have to do

7. Lawless Lawyer: This has Lee Joon Gi. Watch it.

Just kidding, there are many other reasons to watch the show, but it is true that Lee Joon Gi is one of my favorite actors. The man has phoenix eyes, a jawline that could cut silk, diamonds, you name it, and such a deep well of emotional acting that it literally kills me when his characters rage/weep/love/etc.

Anyway, in this legal thriller/romance/action drama, LJG’s character Bong Sang Pil is a beautiful, very extra ex-gangster/now lawyer who opens his own office, ready to fight villainy and avenge his mom with the law or with his fists, whichever is more useful at the time. He has a right hand man named Manager Tae and recruits a bunch of thugs as his minions, and they all become a weird sort of family as the show goes on.

Ha Jae Yi is a quiet badass lawyer who has no time for sexist idiots and gets her license suspended for smacking one of said fools. She gets recruited to assist Sang Pil, and they find their goals align as both their mothers were destroyed by the villains.

Speaking of the villains? EXCELLENT acting by them all, like they need to go down obviously, but you can’t help but be in awe of a few of them or even get attached to one or two in a weird way. Props to the show for having one of the best female villains I have ever seen

What an icon

Here you get two gifs of him

Sorry I needed to make it a magical three lol

~~

Tune in next time for historical dramas and modern dramas that are a bit darker!

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[dented-nado]

Well I mean, since you asked for requests - “If you want me, come and get me.” Maybe with the trinity? I can picture Bruce saying it as Diana and Clark try and force him to go to bed like a normal person 😂 or you know, whatever strikes your fancy!

[[HELL YES. Bruce is slightly ooc because he’s incredibly sleep deprived and I saw it as an opportunity for him to act a little loopy lol. That’s how I am at least when I’m very sleep deprived, so pulling from personal experience here. Enjoy!!]]

“It’s only been one night. Give me a break.”

“Bruce, Honey, I know its hard to tell in Gotham, especially in the winter, but it’s been several nights you haven’t been getting any sleep.” Diana pulled the chair Bruce was sitting in away from the bat-computer against Batman’s wishes.

Bruce was sure she and Clark were exaggerating, it couldn’t have been that long. Besides, he wasn’t even tired, not even a little bit.

“I’m fine, you two can stop clucking over me like hens, thanks.”

“I’ll cluck all I want when it comes to your sleeping schedule mister.” Clark declared firmly.

“Especially not after you convinced me that some humans can be ‘totally fine’ not sleeping for several days and making me feel like I wasn’t quite so weird for a split second before that all came crashing down.” Clark crossed his arms, pouting just a little bit. He didn’t seem actually that annoyed but…

Admittedly, he still felt a little bit bad about that.

“I know… I lied when I said some humans. I meant me, specifically, because I’m fine, I’m great, I’m good, I’m bursting with youthful vigor now both of you let me work. There’s crime afoot.” He declared, trying to pull his chair back forward, only to frown as he realized Diana still had an iron grip on it, so instead he stood up and walked back to the computer instead.

“Bruce, your being ridiculous… and you said "There’s crime afoot” out loud. You’re tired.“ Diana said exasperated with a hand on her head.

"Also, no offense sweet bean… but you look like you’ve been through hell, you have probably the most intense looking bags under your eyes I’ve ever seen.” Clark said, trying to be gentle but serious.

“I look fucking awesome.” Bruce protested in annoyance, not even sure what he was really doing on the computer outside of looking busy. “You’ve heard Harv, I’m a fucking pretty boy. And I feel fan-god-damn-tastic.”

Clark and Diana gave each other a look that said “Yep, he’s lost it.” That Bruce didn’t much appreciate.

He forgot what he was even doing, his new ultimate goal was to not go to sleep no matter what because he was f i n e dammit.

“Bruce, please come to bed. Besides, you know, we’ll be right there with you, we miss you.” Clark pleaded, giving Bruce very tempting puppy dog eyes.

“We can spend a little time tiring you out if you want Bat.” Diana said, soothingly rubbing his shoulder.

Tempting. But he was the god damn batman, so… “No, no bribing me doing the horizontal tango, I have a job to do.”

“The horizontal…” Diana began.

“T a n g o. Bruce, pl ea se , you need to sleep.” Clark finished.

“Why can’t I use creative words without you two thinking it means I’m tired, hmm? Clark’s called me a bean before, I am but a bean, let me live my bean life.” He momentarily felt a little dizzy and a little like he was loosing track of time and space, but regardless he made his way to the bat-mobile to go… somewhere…. who knows.

“Oh-ho-ho no, absolutely not, you are not driving like this.” Clark said immediately super-speeding in front of Bruce acting as a big warm teddy bear-like wall between Bruce and his car.

“I can do what I want. I’m rich, I’m bi, I’m batman, and I fight crime. Now ”scoot your boot.“ as they say where you come from.” Bruce said, trying to move around Clark who was so freaking fast for some reason.

“I have never said scoot your boot.” Clark said with raised eyebrows.

“Really?” Bruce asked somewhat deliriously. “Seems like a cowboy thing…” He  mumbled while moving the cowl up slightly so he could rub at his eye.

“…Would you come to bed if I dressed like a cowboy?”

Tempting. But not even saving a horse and riding a cowboy could get him to give up on his current stubborn crusade that he couldn’t even remember why he had to be on so bad… why had he been up in the first place??

“…No, so yeehaw your ass out of my  w a y .”

“No way, and your yee-haw-ing your a… s…… booty up to bed now,  you’re completely delirious.”

“Fine… maybe I don’t know what I’m doing, or where I’m going, or why right now, but I’m the world’s greatest detective, I’ll figure it out.” Bruce grumbled in annoyance.

He started walking back to his computer since he apparently couldn’t go to his car, but when he tried to sit back down he nearly yelped as it seemed Diana had thought ahead, so he had sat down right into her lap and now her very strong muscular arms were now wrapped around his waist.

“Gotcha.”

“Fu c k.” Bruce mumbled.

This was quite the predicament Batman had gotten himself into! Would he be able to figure out how to escape the strong arms of the Wonder Woman? Tune in next time, same bat-time, same bat-channel!

… Bruce squirmed for a moment grumbling before bowing his head.

“Fine… you’ve won, let’s go to bed…” Bruce conceded.

“That’s more like it” Diana said with a sigh as she gingerly let go.

That was when Bruce took his chance to escape with a triumphant and slightly evil laugh as he took off into the depths of the bat-cave.

“BruCE!” Diana chided.

Bruce just continued cackling, dropping a smoke bomb as he completely forgot that would do nothing against Clark’s super vision as he decided to head for the bat-plane. Good thing he had several bat-themed vehicles.

“Bruce get back here!” He heard Clark call sternly.

“You’re going to get yourself hurt!” Diana yelled.

“If you want me, come and get me!” Bruce taunted with an incredibly delirious smile, not realizing he was about to run into a wall.

He would have, if Clark had not been in front of him again in an instant, causing Bruce to collide with Clark’s chest rather than a rock hard wall. Clark scooped Bruce up into his arms despite the Bat’s protesting and flew him back over to where Diana had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot.

She softly flicked the tip of Bruce’s nose to get his attention and to stop flailing. “Now are you going to be a good bat and change out of the suit yourself, or are we going to have to rip you out of it kicking and screaming?”

Bruce frowned, before getting another idea and perking up slightly. “…There are other ways of getting me out of it~” He said putting on his flirtiest Brucie voice.

“Nice try B, but you blew your chance at the 'horizontal tango’ when you decided to bolt like that.” Clark said looking down at Bruce now with his own smirk on his face.

“Aw, nuts…” Bruce grumbled in surrender, going limp as Clark set him down, pulling off the cowl as he knew he was defeated.

“Your not getting any nuts B, keep up.” Clark said absolutely delighted.

Diana rolled her eyes. “You pick now to make a joke like that Kansas?”

Clark grinned. “Judging by how sleepy he is he won’t even remember that I made my first ever joke like that in front of him.”

“How devilish of you.” Diana commented with an amused smile.

Bruce grumbled as he stripped off the rest of the batsuit. “I wanted nuts though.” He mumbled. “nuts sound good. I like nuts… especially cashews.”

“Your right, he’s definitely not going to remember.” Diana commented, taking Bruce’s hand once he was down to the black undershirt and thin pants he wore under the suit.

Clark put his hand on Bruce’s back as the moved out of the cave. “Come on sleepy-head, off to an adventure called 'bed-time’.”

“But I wanted to fightttt…” Bruce slurred slightly.

“You can fight exaustion by sleeping.” Diana suggested.

“I’ll kick exaust-ian’s a s s.”

“That’s the spirit.” Clark laughed as he gingerly lifted the incredibly tired bat onto his bed before going to get ready for bed himself along with Diana.

“What are we going to do with that man?” Diana whispered, unable to help a small smile, after they had changed into their sleep clothes and came back to find Bruce completely zonked out , snoring slightly with his mouth hanging open.

“We’ll force him to have a normal sleep schedule yet.” Clark whispered, getting into bed and pulling Bruce close in order to spoon him.

Diana joined in on the other side, snuggling Bruce’s head against her chest and putting her arm around both him and Clark as she got settled.

“Our new mission?” Diana suggested.

“Our new mission, will kick ’'exaust-ian’s” butt.“ Clark whispered with a grin.

Diana had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

"You’ll make a joke about Bruce wanting 'nuts’ but you’ll never say the word "ass”, will you?“ She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope.”

They shared a quiet chuckle before settling in to fall asleep themselves, their very tired, but at least now very asleep bat cuddled between them.

[nekokoaa]

Wolves Among Us - Bakugo x Reader (XII)

Wolves Among Us – Bakugo x Reader

Series Warning: Fantasy AU, Fluff, NSFW

(Chapter XII/??) All chapters in AO3 and masterlist

Thank you guys so much for the support. Honestly reading your comments and reactions make my eyes swell with tears and it brings me joy that you guys are enjoying wau and I know it takes me a while to update cause of life and you still support me despite that! I’m so grateful for you guys!!

@freedom-for-bum @reallyfuckingangrylatina @risarisarisaa @ashherssss @mels-heart @xa-dia @shanty-lol @amkxh @chims-kookies @fantasticapple @thalia-luna-hawthorn

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XII: Mend

As fast as Katsuki saw your eyes on him was as fast as when he turned around and held onto the windowsill to climb over it. And when you realized he was leaving, you lifted your body off the bed, struggling upon shaky arms as it felt like you were pushing up with a ton of stones on your back.

“W-Wait. Katsuki!” Regardless, you forced your body onto your legs and immediately stumbled and fell to the ground. Katsuki was stopped by the loud thud of when your body hit the floor and he was by your side in an instant.

“Are you stupid?! Your body is still healing! You can’t suddenly get up like that!” He gathered you in his arms, hooking them around your back and under your knees before he effortlessly lifted you up. He carried you to the bed, quickly looking over you to see if you were alright. He saw that you were gazing at him, but he missed the look of relief in your eyes as he was too concerned with checking if you had any injuries from your fall.

“Katsuki,” you softly called him, feeling a smile growing on your face but you were still feeling so weak that you could barely hold it for a few seconds. “Is it really you, Katsuki?” You began to reach for his cheek and Katsuki grabbed that hand. His hold so light you barely realized it.

“Yeah,” he awkwardly shifted his shoulders, glowing red eyes flicking around before they landed on you. He was kneeling by your bedside after he laid you down on the bed. You attempted to sit up, but he quickly held his hand out to stop you as soon as he had the instinct that you were getting up.

“I dreamt about you. I was getting attacked and you… you saved me. And then I was falling… for what felt like a long time. I could sense that I was hurtling towards the ground and… I was sure death was awaiting me but… I fell into your arms instead. You saved me again, Katsuki—and here you are, right by my side. Maybe I’m still dreaming…?”

“You’re not dreaming… I’m here,” he squeezed your hand, reassuring you that this was in fact reality. The Katsuki before you were not an illusion created by sleep but was the real Katsuki you had yearned to see.

“Hm-mm,” you smiled softly, nodding, and his heart fluttered by that simple gesture of yours. “You’re here.”

But as soon as he recovered, logic settling in, he had to remind himself of his plan. “But after tonight… I’m leaving—for good.”

Instantly, your smile was wiped off, a frown settled shortly after. “Why must you leave?”

“It’s what’s best…”

“You’re always saying you know what’s best, but do you truly know? You’re always handling things alone… why can’t we just think of something together? Why must you isolate me?”

“Look at what I have done to you... me, your lover! Not only that but I didn’t even chase after you—I was so mad, and I made you suffer—for what! My jealous fit?” That was him being jealous? You were sure it was more than that. But in his rage, he had bounced up from his kneeled position, growling under his breath as he couldn’t help but recall the image of you nearly at death’s door just moments ago. He was visibly shaken, rolling his hands into fists as they shook violently at his sides. His body so tense that his veins were pulsated through the skin of his biceps. If it weren’t for the long sleeves of his top, surely you would’ve saw them scattered around his arms. It wasn’t pure anger that motivated his reaction but sorrow and utter regret.

“Katsuki, please, sit with me. Let’s talk,” Katsuki stared down at you like he was contemplating whether to listen to you or not. And after what felt like minutes under his crimson gaze, he decided to sit down on the bed with a soft grunt. The springs crinkled underneath his weight. You even felt the bed shift when he sat, his back slightly hunched and his legs spread as his arms lined with his thighs.

You slowly sat up and soon you felt Katsuki’s arm around your waist just as you placed your feet on the ground. You knew he was helping you steady yourself but when his fingers pressed into your side and that feathery feeling you knew all too well started tickling your lower stomach, you couldn’t help but blush.

“Hey, take it easy. Your body is still healing,” he had said once he pushed your body against his. He wanted you to use him as support but all it did was deepen the color on your cheeks. There was a silence shortly after like one of you were waiting for each other to speak up first. You decided to break it.

“It was an accident,” you started, turning your head to look at him. Katsuki kept his eyes to the floor, teeth clenched together at your words. “You didn’t mean to hurt me. I know you would never hurt me on purpose. And—so many things happened—the marriage announcement, Izuku, and now this. We’ve been fighting with each other for too long and I miss being in your arms—being together,” you placed a hand on his lap. “Why can’t we just be that? Together?”

Katsuki’s absent response unsettled you. You adjusted yourself, both hands on his lap now as you gazed up at him. He still refused to look at you. His eyebrows were knitted together, and you wondered if he was angry or in such deep thought that it caused his expression to contort like that. “We can work this out, can’t we?” You didn’t want to sound like you were begging but loved Katsuki too much to let him go. You gave up so much of your life for him and he was all you had left. You couldn’t handle a life without Katsuki, because he was now a part of it.

“You’re okay with the marriage?” He finally looked at you, his crimson eyes steady as they searched for answers within your irises.

“I-I am…” you started twiddling with your fingers as they remained on his lap. “But maybe if it was all done in a more traditional way, we wouldn’t have fought like that. I would’ve loved if you told me privately first. Marriage is such a big step in anyone’s relationship and to find out with the pack was… awful.”

“I know—I… should’ve told you first. I just knew you would’ve said yes so—”

“You don’t know what I would’ve said, Katsuki,” you didn’t understand his logic. Was he really so sure of himself that he thought you would agree to this willingly? Sure, you love him but what if you weren’t mentally ready for marriage? “It really hurt me. Am I not a person that you can rely on? Must you hide things from me and separate me from your plans? I just don’t understand.”

“There is nothing to understand. I just fucked up. I…” Katsuki found himself stumbling on his words. He knew he wasn’t the best communicator and he never cared to improve but now he realized it was putting a strain on his relationship. He could no longer act alone in his endeavors. He had to think about his actions together with you.

“Then next time, just talk to me. You know I’ll always listen to you.”

“I know,” you frowned when you heard his grumble. You wanted an apology, but you decided to accept this.

“And Izuku? Are you okay with him?”

Katsuki sucked his teeth and growled softly. Just remembering the green hair on Izuku’s head was enough to annoy him. “If I never see you two embracing ever again, sure.”

“Katsuki, he’s like my brother. We grew up together after my parents died and I always thought of him as family. He isn’t anyone you should feel threatened by.”

He spoke through his gritted teeth. “I’m not threatened by that worthless piece of—"

“Katsuki,” you warned.

He snapped his head away. “Che, whatever.”

“Now the pack…”

“What about them? They’ll get used to you in time. They just have to deal with it.” Katsuki shrugged, “besides, Round-face, Weird-hair and his brats, and the old hag likes you so that’s a start.”

“Must you give everyone mean nicknames?”

“It’s easier calling them how I want,” he spoke curtly. You knew Katsuki wouldn’t change his ways, not that you wanted him to. You just simply wanted to know why he did and wondered if he also had a nickname for you.

“What about yourself?”

“Hah?”

“You still seem frustrated… with yourself.”

“I’ll be careful from now on. I know humans are weak and all and…” he soon sighed, cutting his ramble short. You watched as he stared at the corner of the room, getting lost in his thoughts before he finally let out a soft growl and you felt yourself being squeezed against him until you placed your hands on his chest. His glowing eyes returned, and your heart skipped a beat as they bore into yours. They were beautiful like always. The very sight of them had the ability to bring summer into the cold atmospheres of winter. They rattled your very soul in ways that were both familiar yet foreign. It was very possible to forget all the anger you felt towards his actions just by a single glance of them. “I will never hurt you like that again. I promise.”

He no longer looked upset and was calm, his face voided of all emotion except for the determination lit in his eyes. With his other hand, he grabbed yours, squeezing it tightly before he intertwined your fingers together. And suddenly, you were reminded of why you fell for him.

“I believe you,” you told him and returned the squeeze. Your lips curling into a smile that made heat rise within Katsuki, flushing his cheeks into a soft red. And suddenly, he too was reminded of why he fell in love with you.

…

The wind continued to howl until it had reached morning and what felt like a brief break of the storm had arrived. The clouds had parted just enough for the sun’s rays to break through them and although the clouds were still thick enough where it shielded the sun’s appearance, its presence was still apparent. You were woken up by the soft rays of the sun hitting against your eyelids and you were suddenly aware of the warmness coming from both under you and above you. You couldn’t remember the last time you woken up so warm, like you were surrounded by summer’s embrace, not humid to where it would be suffocating but toasty enough to lure you back to sleep.

It took you a moment to realize that you were directly on top of Katsuki, legs spread against his hips, chests together with your head resting on his collarbones. And on top of you was Katsuki’s fur cape used as a cover to shield both of you from the cold, but you knew it was mostly for you as Katsuki always claimed he never felt cold enough. Your arms were all over the place like your body was trying to make do with the tiny bed that could barely fit the two of you and Katsuki’s arms were around your body, a hand on the curve of your back and his other hand…

You flushed, feeling his other hand slightly move as it was cupping your butt cheek. You knew Katsuki wasn’t aware of what he was doing as he was still asleep but never having a man touch there before had made you feel uncomfortable. Yet because it was Katsuki, you wanted it to continue. It was an odd feeling, one that you knew if you let continue, curiosity would get the best of you.

“Katsuki,” you called him, voice just above a whisper.

“Wha…?” Immediately, he stirred awake. You guessed he wasn’t that deep in sleep since it usually took him forever to wake up. You watched as his crimson irises peeked between his eyelids, slowly regaining his consciousness until they shot open and the hand that was cupping your butt left. “My bad,” he grumbled, his voice scratchy as he lifted both his arms out from his cape and stretched them above his head. He yawned, and you looked in awe when you saw his fangs.

“How did you sleep?” You tried to move yourself off of him but then realize there was no space left on the bed.

“Bad. This bed’s a fucking mess,” you giggled at his words and returned your head to his chest. You enjoyed hearing the sound of his heartbeat against your ears.

“Yeah, it isn’t the most comfortable.”

“Can’t wait to get back to our cave.”

You didn’t miss what he said, and your smile widened until your cheek pressed into his chest. “Our?”

“Yeah, our cave. You coming back with me, right?” His fingers found your hair and played with it, twirling them around until they became tangled in his digits. He had to make sure to ask because even though they had seemed to mend the issues between them, he wasn’t sure if you were still harboring any feelings against going back. But Katsuki was relieved to see that eager nod from you and you had pressed your lips on his cheek for more reassurance.

“Of course.”

Though Katsuki frowned, disappointed not because of the kiss but the type you gave him. “Don’t think you can lay on top of me and just kiss me on my cheek. Give me a real one.”

“And I don’t think you deserve a real one after what you put me through. You should be thankful I’m willing to take you back,” you snapped.

“Rub salt on the wound, will ya?” He growled, rolling his eyes. His eyes then landed on the opening of your shirt, getting a glance of your breasts that was squished against his chest. Katsuki suddenly became aware at how close your body was to him and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t suppress the heat rising within him. “Then get the hell off me. I don’t need you teasing me.”

“Teasing? How am I teasing you?” You laughed.

“Do you really need me to spell it out for you? Just get off,” you did as you were told, laughing while doing it and Katsuki sucked his teeth but what you didn’t know was that he was watching intently to see if you were going to fall while getting up. He didn’t get to you the first time you fell, and he sure wasn’t going to make it a second time. Katsuki relaxed once he saw you had no problems getting up and he noticed that you were beaming at him with a smile.

“What?” He asked snappily.

“Nothing,” you shrugged, fiddling with your fingers. “I’m just—happy.”

“Yeah well, that’s good—I guess,” Katsuki grumbled and looked away. He felt his cheeks warming up, once again reminded of your beauty. He almost couldn’t believe that last night he tried to walk away from this. He wasn’t in his right mind, he concluded. Why did he think being away from you would protect you? He needed to be by your side to protect that precious smile of yours.

You were still fiddling your fingers, too absorbed in your glee to notice the sound of footsteps coming from down the hall. Although even if you weren’t distracted, you wouldn’t have notice it as fast as Katsuki did.  

“Someone’s coming,” Katsuki suddenly announced before he walked to the door and threw it open. You didn’t even have time to react when you saw that forest green hair that belong to your childhood friend nearly shielded behind Katsuki’s large frame and when a loud yelp and a thud came after, you knew you had to hurry.

Hell had revisited Izuku. He just didn’t know it would be this soon. When your door suddenly opened, and he was met with that crimson gaze of hellfire, he knew he was staring at death itself. He couldn’t stop the shriek that left him, and his legs buckled under him until he landed on his bottom all while his eyes were stuck on the beast cause of the fear he had if he were to let him out of his sight. The beast took a step closer to him and Izuku kept backing away, mouth agape, and all four limbs shaking under his weight.

“Get the hell up,” the beast growled and Izuku whimpered, flinching when he heard his lingering snarl after he spoke. “You heard what I said, right? Get up! You’re so lucky I can’t kill your pathetic ass! If it was my choice, you would’ve already been six feet under the snow!”

“Katsuki, stop! Why are you scaring him!?” You rushed out of your room, grabbing Katsuki by his arm and yanking him towards you. As soon as Izuku caught sight of you, his fear had subsided, and wide eyes of disbelief took its place.

“I’m not scaring him! I’m telling him to get up!” Katsuki yelled.

“You can say it in a nicer way!”

“____, you’re healed…?” Izuku asked, still wondering if his eyes were deceiving him. He stood up on his shaky legs and nearly stumbled towards you.

You ignored the snarl that came from Katsuki when Izuku had spoken to you. “Yes, thanks to Katsuki.”

“I can’t believe it. You were going to die. I tried everything, but nothing worked and when Ochako came, I—”

“So Round-face actually visited you? Stupid woman,” Katsuki scoffed, rolling his eyes in the process.

“She’s not stupid,” Izuku snapped. “She convinced you, didn’t she?”

Katsuki blinked at first, not sure if he heard him correctly but once his words started settling in, his eyes narrowed into slits and more wrinkles that you didn’t think was possible formed between his eyebrows and on his forehead. “What did you just say to me? She didn’t convince me to do shit! I came here on my own will. I wasn’t going to let my woman die!”

“I’m not saying you’re lying but it’s hard to believe you.”

Katsuki took a step towards him, baring his fangs and claws in his direction. “You wanna fucking say that to my face, Deku?!”

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows. Confusion written across his face. “Deku?”

“Stop fighting! Gosh! Shut up! You guys are being too loud in the morning!” Your shout had silenced the both of them. You truly had enough of the fights. You just wanted peace from now on. “I’m grateful to Katsuki. He owned up to his mistake and healed me and I’m also grateful to you, Izuku, because you took care of me the best you could. I know it must’ve been scary.”

“It was… I was afraid that you were going to leave me,” Izuku squeezed his eyes tight. The possibility that you could’ve died was causing him pain. It hurt him. You would’ve been dead if it weren’t for Katsuki and even though Izuku was relieved that you were completely healed, he was angry at himself. It hurt how useless he was to save you and that he needed to rely on a wolf to do it.

Once you saw Izuku’s grimace, you could tell that he was taking this situation to heart. As he’s been the only person you relied on since you were children, it was hard for him to realize that you didn’t need his protection anymore. You had moved on to yourself and Katsuki for protection and it made Izuku wonder if there was any room left for him in your heart.

You hugged him, your arms went under his arms and encircled his body. You leaned your head against his chest and felt his arms squeezed your form and his head moved to rest on your shoulder. He was shaking. He didn’t want to let you go. He felt as if the moment he pulls away, the more he has to come to terms with accepting your decision. As a friend, as a brother, Izuku felt lost without you, unsure if leaving you in the hands of a wolf was right for you.

“Thank you, Izuku, for everything…” he heard your mumble against him and it caused his throat to croak out intelligible words, words he wanted to say but became buried within the overwhelming amount of emotions surging within him.

Katsuki couldn’t help but glare at the sight before him. As much as his body urged him to pull you and Izuku apart, he ignored it just for you. He gritted his teeth instead, fangs in full sight and hands into fists that shook uncontrollably at his sides. His wolf ears were erect as well as all of the tiny hairs on his arms and neck. Every instinct in his body was telling him to attack him like an alarm was going off in his head, signaling that something of his was about to be taken.

“Alright, that’s enough, you guys can stop hugging now,” was a cue from Katsuki that he could no longer handle watching this. You slipped yourself out of Izuku’s hold, his hands momentarily holding onto your forearms before completely separating from you. Katsuki instantly threw an arm around your shoulders when you returned. Crimson eyes that held a predatory gaze when they stared at you turned into one of repressed anger when they glanced at Izuku. Izuku frowned.

“So… I’m guessing you’re going back then?”

You nodded and looked to Katsuki while he was busy reminding Izuku who you belonged to. “I love him. I can’t imagine my life without him. I know you don’t approve of us, but he makes me happy.”

“And that’s all I want to see, your happiness. The village declared you dead, so I guess there’s nothing back there for you.” Except for me. Izuku wanted to mention but he held his tongue.

“They did…? Even though the hunters know I’m alive?”

Katsuki scoffed. “Fucking cowards didn’t want your village to know that they failed to kill a wolf, so they lied.”

“They’ll do anything to keep their reputation intact. That’s just how hunters are and if they know that you’re alive, the next time you encounter them, they’ll do anything to make sure you’re not. Be careful out there, please,” said Izuku.

“I’ll destroy any hunter that tries to lay a finger on her,” growled Katsuki. “Those fuckers will regret that day they jumped me, I’ll make sure of it.”

Nothing was said in response to Katsuki’s bloodthirsty declare. Izuku gave him a look and before Katsuki could notice it, you changed the topic to save Izuku the trouble of having Katsuki’s rage on him. “Izuku, you can visit us anytime, okay? Katsuki will let the pack know.”

As expected, that rage you saved Izuku from was directed at you. A crimson glare that you knew all too well bore into your eyes and since you were so accustomed to being under it, you found that you grew immune to the sight. Katsuki puffed out his chest and towered over you. You merely stared at him. “Who said I wanted him near my pack?”

“I did! Besides, Izuku’s invited to the wedding.”

“The hell he ain’t!”

Izuku’s eyes widened. “Wait, y-you’re getting married?”

“Yes, and I want you to come. I can’t get married without you there.”

“I—of course I’ll come, I’m just a little surprised is all.”

“Why the hell are you guys deciding things without me?!” Katsuki growled.

You frowned. “Katsuki, you told me last night that you would accept Izuku as my friend, or were you just lying to me?”

“I-I wasn’t lying—I—!” He interrupted himself with a nasty snarl, making Izuku jump at the sound of it. He stomped back into the room you stayed in and came back out with his fur cape hanging on his arm. He threw it over your shoulders and bared his fangs at you. All you did was smile back at him. “Fine! He can visit the pack and he’s invited! Can we fucking go now?”

“Sure!” You laughed, giving a small stroke to his arm to calm him down. Katsuki sucked his teeth and yanked his arm away from you.

Izuku watched in amazement at how you handled Katsuki. He didn’t understand how was it that you weren’t afraid of him. He could crush you with one hand if he wanted to, yet you were still able to smile innocently at him like he wasn’t the one who brought you all that pain in those few days. Though, he couldn’t hide that he saw that look in your eyes. The look that one would give to someone they’re madly in love with and although he couldn’t read anything from Katsuki’s grimace, it was his action of covering you with his cape that showed Izuku that he does care about you. Perhaps he didn’t need to worry so much.

Before you left, you gave Izuku another hug which made Katsuki barked:

“How many times do you need to hug him?”

You rolled your eyes, letting Izuku go and grabbing Katsuki’s hand to lead him out the door. “Don’t you ever just shut up?”

…

You snuggled with Katsuki’s fur cape on your shoulders, tugging it until it completely engulfed your form like a blanket. Katsuki’s arm was also around your shoulders, pulling you close to protect you from the blustering icy wind. The storm wasn’t as powerful as yesterday, but it was still dangerous to walk within it. For the entire walk back to the pack, Katsuki made sure to protect you from the harsh elements of the storm. Even when it came to scale up the mountain, Katsuki urged you to climb on his back so that he could carry you. You weren’t surprised to find how incredibly easy it was for Katsuki to carry you, but it made you think just what was Katsuki’s limit. Did wolves even have a limit? It always seemed like they were bursting with unlimited energy and stamina much more than their human counterparts. They never seem to tire out as fast as humans nor display a lack in strength whenever encountering anything physical. They seemed perfect, built without any weaknesses that you could think of.

By the time you reached the pack, it was in the afternoon and you couldn’t think of single weakness and the question disappeared from your mind once the familiar sight of unnatural caves on the mountainside came into view. There was not a soul outside as you assumed most were in their caves to wait out the storm but once Katsuki put you down and you stepped into the snow, the sound of crushed ice under your shoes alerted them and a few left their caves, including a few familiar faces.

Ochako sprinted through the icy field the moment she saw you and threw her arms around you once she got close. Her teary thanks to Fenrir for your recovery was heard through the roaring sound of the wind as you were squeezed against her body. Eijirou had left his cave as well, smiling largely when he spotted you. He gave Katsuki a heavy pat on his shoulder and welcomed you back to the pack. Mitsuki was watching the scene from her cave’s balcony, a natural forming of rocks that protrude under the entrance of her cave. It was the highest cave upon the mountainside, so it was hard to miss the pack leader standing tall, blond hair dancing in the harsh wind with snow flurrying around her as if to celebrate her appearance. She made a simple smirk that reminded you of Katsuki and gave a wave before she retreated back to her cave. You would never know of the deep sigh of relief that escaped her when she was no longer in view. Probably, out of everyone, she was the most relieved about your wellbeing.

And Katsuki, a wolf with the patience of a child, already began pulling you away from Ochako. His hand grabbed yours and led you towards an entrance for one of the caves. He gave two excuses. The first one was that you were tired to which you denied, and he quickly countered it with another excuse about the storm being too dangerous for you to be in. He was right, but at the time, you didn’t understand why he was being so pushy. Ochako and Eijirou brushed it off, saying their farewells before you and Katsuki vanished into the cave.

He pulled you through the dimmed halls before going into the first room on the left as you remembered, slipping through the cloth that separated the room and the hall and suddenly being hit with nostalgia. It hasn’t been that long but being separated from Katsuki always felt like time slowed down and this situation made no difference. Katsuki’s cave was exactly how you left it. The three lit nearly melted candles on the small table near the corner. A wooden desk and chair against the wall. The excessive number of pillows in the center with a heavy sheep wool cloth over it. It was a simple layout yet seeing it had made your heart swell with happiness.

“Wow… It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Everything still looks the same.” As you recalled, the last time you’ve been in Katsuki’s cave was the morning of the marriage announcement. After that, you stayed with Ochako and then the situation with Izuku happened. Thinking back on the issue, you were so relieved that you made up with Katsuki. Perhaps since you talked it out, it would be the end of the issues in your relationship. You knew it was a pipe dream as most relationships tend to develop problems because of conflicting personalities and ideas. Although, conflict was necessary because without it, there would be no growth in relationships—no misunderstandings being mended. You didn’t know whether to feel grateful for what had happened or to promise yourself to avoid all conflict with Katsuki.

As you were deep in your thoughts, staring at particularly nothing, Katsuki’s red eyes couldn’t leave you. Seeing you in his cave was odd for him. He missed seeing you, yet it has been so long that it was rather strange having you here. But Katsuki had to remind himself that this was indeed reality, not the reality he thought of when he had turn over in bed and you weren’t there.

Your scent was filling the space the moment you had stepped in. It was alerting his senses with every intake of breath. Another reminder of that this was real. You were here, in front of him, in his presence. This wasn’t a dream nor was he in his head. You had truly returned to him.

It wasn’t the soft call of your name that had brought your attention to Katsuki but the gentle touch of his fingers grasping your wrist and pulling you softly around to face him. Before you knew it, you were staring up into two burning suns, but it wasn’t the fiery, intense gaze you’ve come to know but a gaze as soft as a sunset, hanging just above the horizon of a sea. Its crimson hue surrounded by an orange ring that revealed the perfect circular shape of the sun—A sight so soft that it permitted your eyes to gaze at it without the fear of being hurt the longer you looked at it.

The back of Katsuki’s hand touched your face, his knuckles brushed above your cheek. He marveled at the beauty before him. How he was able to claim you as his was beyond him. A woman that was too good for him, too beautiful for him, too reasonable, too smart, it baffled him that you wanted to be by his side. From the moment he first saw you, something pulled him towards you and he hasn’t been able to let go since.

He leaned forward. His kiss was short and light, like he was testing the waters. He looked at your eyes, cheeks, and lips for any indication of rejection. And when he saw none, he dived back in, hungry this time as his carnal desire took over his movements. His hands scoured your body from your waist and back to your hips and thighs. A low growl in response to your whimpers as you struggled to keep up with his lips. He was a dominating force of a man and you doubt it had something to do with him being a wolf. Still, you tried your best to keep up. Both of your hands were holding his head, fingers half sunken in his frizzy hair, lips eagerly parting to invite his tongue in and of course, he accepted the invitation.

Your breaths tangled with one another. Your saliva mixed together before it spilled from the corner of your mouth from the aggressive dance of tongues. Katsuki was pushing on you, causing you to lean back. He lifted you up. His hand grasped both of your thighs, splitting your legs and wrapping them around his hips. Your arms went on his shoulders and your hands found the back of his head to thread your fingers back within his hair. Feeling your nails press his scalp was driving him mad.

He carried you and after he kicked away the chair with his foot, he had placed you down on the desk and settled himself between your legs. Your skirt became bunched up to your waist and it exposed your nude legs. Oddly enough, you weren’t shy about having them revealed to him. The chair had made a loud thump when it hit the floor but neither of you cared. The only thing that mattered was the feel of lips and hearts swelling to burst from passion. The melody of saliva squishing was joined with the gasps and sighs as the tangled moist muscles battled within their fleshy caves. At times, you even found yourself dangerously caressing his fangs with your tongue, just an accident away from cutting yourself. How thrilling.

Katsuki’s large hand were stroking your thigh in a circular motion. You went to grab his upper arm, feeling out his toned biceps, chiseled, like it was carved by the gods. It was at that moment when it occurred to you that Katsuki was shirtless. You haven’t had a clue when he had taken it off, but it must’ve been during the interval when he had set you down on the desk. You didn’t think much of it either, not at the extent of Katsuki’s intentions anyway. You were too taken by his lips to notice he was growing rather aggressive. His growls were soft and occurred with every exhale that he mentally cursed because it was the only thing keeping him from your lips. You too were growing breathless as you felt a dull pain develop within your lungs and with all the energy and passion fueling your heartbeat, you had no choice but to pull away for air.

Red. It was what you saw when you looked into his irises. A familiar hue that reminded you of the heat of summer. A heat not too far from the one rising within you. It was craving for something, you didn’t know what yet, but it was similar to the hungry look in his eyes like a beast watching his prey before he devours it. He waited patiently for his lungs to fill with needed air and when he leaned forward, you expected the return of his lips but instead, his arms went around your body and pulled you tight against him.

No words were exchanged between the two of you. Katsuki’s hug communicated as much as he wanted to say, to hold you and to never let you go, to welcome you back into his life, and to welcome him in yours.                                    

While being in his arms, a single thought crossed your mind. You smiled and nuzzled your face into his shoulder.

Finally, I am home.

Next chap - XIII: Little did they know, the stars were above

hMM, what are Katsuki's intentions, I wonder. Next chapter is going to be so nice. Finally done with all the angst, at least for now hahaha. But next chap will be a nice break. Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos and even just reading. Until next time, loves~

[duvgaleni]

Ok first off I am SO sorry I have taken so long to get to this ask I had no energy between work and school. That said here comes the GN review. So I did not expect Elvis to vibe with me musically the way it did. If I have to pick a fave off the album it has to be Molly with Control coming in at a close second. I can't explain it but Molly really has unique designs on me. I really love the sound and style of music for this rec. Once again you deliver top shelf goods.

Side note: I took that quiz you reblogged even though I've never heard of the vorkosigan saga in my life and I got someone named Bel Thorne. Made me look up the series, which made me realize that I very much want this in my life, and now I'm wondering if you'd advise me as to which book I should start with? I asked the internet and got huge charts.

Eagerly awaiting your next recs,

MAB

P.S. thinking about making rugelach on a weekend off. Thoughts/advice?

Hey hi! So glad to hear from you! I was just thinking the other day “I miss MAB :(” but I didn’t want to rush you lol, I’ve also been super low energy lately so you’re in good company! As always, I’m so glad you liked it, this has been one of my really pandemic-defining albums, I’ve spent a truly Shocking amount of time sitting on the floor listening to this and painting since I discovered it maybe 10 months ago? I also didn’t really expect to vibe with it, I was off the indie-country-stylings train and the vocals threw me at first but it kinda got its hooks into me and i found myself just thinking about it all the time, and i listened and relistened and found more and more complex little bits and beautiful lyrics and realized it had wormed its way into my faves on accident, so good for it. Control’s also one of my real faves, the whole front half of this album is SO strong, Westside and Crying About The Planets took a minute for me to warm up to but are really some of my faves on the album now. I’m glad it spoke to you as much as it spoke to me!

ok SO let’s talk about the Vorkosigan Saga. These books are my favorite anything in the whole world, they’re my parents favorite books too so I really grew up with them, I’ve loved them all my life even when I was way too young to understand a lot of the concepts (I tried to read this Really Heavy one all about clones when i was V young and I didn’t know what a clone was, I thought it was just a fucked up baby brother, i was more right than I realized, so i put it down and Thank Fuck for that) and you should ABSOLUTELY read them. Bel Thorne was the first nonbinary character I ever saw (even though they are NOT handled well, these books show their age on a lot of lgbt stuff so heads up) and they’re so goddamn cool, they’re whip-smart and chock full of heart and they captain a space ship and I could go on Forever, I just named my new podcast character after them and I’m just thrilled about it. So as far as order goes, I Highly recommend starting with Cordelia’s Honor, which is a collection of the books Shards of Honor and Barrayar, which are prequels about the parents of the main characters of the main series. The main series starts with some truly superb fun manic semi-political space opera, but it’s really aged for the protagonist Miles, who’s 17 at the time. Cordelia’s Honor gives you a really great background on the universe you’re in, shows you Exactly how Miles got to be The Way That He Is, is the best god damn enemies-to-lovers you’ll ever find, CHUGS its respect women juice, is also fun but definitely heavier in tone than the main series begins. It’s really beautiful, very very human, and just SMART. Heads up, those books have some heavily implied sexual assault, suicide stuff, uhhhh Weird Mental Illness, and Weird Homophobia (though it’s portrayed to be in the wrong, again these books are very much a product of their time.) But they follow Miles’ parents, Cordelia Naismith and Aral Vorkosigan as they meet, fall in love on opposite sides of a war, eventually get married, and get sucked into some truly wild and Really Really Cool politics, and i Highly recommend you start there. Past that, my recommended reading order is pretty much chronological, you should get to Falling Free and Ethan of Athos at some point but like Shards of Honor - Barrayar - Warriors Apprentice - Vor Game - Cetaganda - Borders Of Infinity - Brothers In Arms - Mirror Dance - Memory - Komarr - Civil Campaign - Diplomatic Immunity - Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance - Cryoburn - Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen (bolded books are my personal favorites) is really the way to go. I know that’s an awful lot, but they’re really fast reads and they’re So Goddamn Good And Fun And Good, if you start them PLEASE let me know your thots as you read

Hoo ok that was a lot, thank you for bearing with me! My biggest advice re. rugelach is just have fun and be yourself with it, do whatever filling you want, pour love into the dough and you’ll have a good time. Sorry that’s not more technical, but if ur using the recipe i sent you (and i can post it again if u dont want to hunt for it) then honestly i think it’s gonna be fab no matter what (and honestly even if you dont do a super bindy filling and your jam leaks out and burns Who Give A Shit, burnt chocolate w raspberry or cherry jam is still pretty damn good), if you enjoy the process then that’s what matters!

[67midnightwriter]

Bygone: Teach Me

A/N: This was originally intended for @thoughtslikeaminefield​ for her birthday before the world exploded. It was intended to be a quick one shot, but as I was writing I fell in love with Dean, Leia, and Cas’ relationship, so this will end up being a snapshot series. It won’t be written in order, but eventually it will all be written lol. Thanks to @mskathywriteswords​ for the deep beta!

Dean x OFC x Cas no destiel

Warning: feels and squirting

Smut

W/C: 4,269

There are many things Dean Winchester is good at: drawing out both pleasure and pain, locating both good drink and good food no matter where you plop him down, shrugging off compliments he’ll never believe he really deserves, and battling demons, of both the metaphorical and physical varieties. These are the things he (mostly) prides himself on, the base stones with which he builds the foundation of his character. Good or bad, they’re solid and steady through the storm of time. 

He won’t admit it, but among the other qualities lays the fact that he is a good teacher. One might even venture to say that he is an excellent teacher, with seemingly endless pools of kind patience, an uncanny ability to know how to reach even the most challenging and troubled of students, and oceans of knowledge from which to quench the thirst of the curious. It’s his unintentional personal oversight of this key flagstone that has birthed the confusion knotting his forehead currently. 

“Look Cas, I’m honored, really, I am...” Dean’s hand runs through his hair and then down his face, a nervous habit he’s picked up over the years, though he’s not sure where or when. He takes a deep breath before gathering the courage to continue. “But when I told you some things are better learned from watching, this...” He gestures to the room, unable to articulate the words he needs, unsure if any are actually needed, “is not what I meant.”

“I need you to teach me.” 

Dean tries to keep his face blank, but it has a habit of thinking out loud. His eyes grow wide, his eyebrows fly high, and his bottom lip ends up pinched between his teeth to hold in a startled laugh. He steadies himself with a deep breath, slowly letting it out of his nose while he counts to ten.

“Cas, man, it’s pretty self explanatory…”

Leia, currently lying back on the bed she shares with Cas, her honey eyes taking in the awkward exchange between Dean and his best friend. Her deep red hair cascaded over her shoulders like a mane of fire, as she chortled over Castiel’s unamused huff and eyeroll. 

“Dean, I’ve been watching humans mate and reproduce since before they were bipedal. I understand and am perfectly capable of bringing Leia pleasure through standard sexual intercourse.”

Dean suppresses a wince over Cas’s blunt wording; even years of friendship can’t take away the resounding feeling as though he’s talking about sex with a parent. 

If he’s seen so much, shouldn’t he be teaching me?

The unwelcome thought crosses his mind, paired with an image of Cas in a full bodied latex suit, and he physically shakes it away.

“Then I don’t understand why I’m here.”

“Cas, I think you’d better just show Dean. It’ll be easier that way.”

Castiel frowns as he considers this, nodding as he settles on a decision. “I suppose you’re correct. Dean, may I?”

Dean closes his eyes to think, rubbing at his hairline like it will help ease his thoughts. He realizes the confusion is going to eat at him until he barges back in and confronts them anyways, and decides that he’d rather skip the forty minutes of pacing and get straight to the point. He still has a list of things to get done today, one that leaves little room for such distractions. “I guess. Let’s get this over with Feathers, I’ve got guns to clean.”

Cas’ lips thin at Dean’s use of the nickname, but he moves past without comment. “You might feel mildly disoriented.” He presses two fingers to each of Dean’s temples, and the world around Dean shimmers, causing his stomach to roll. His eyes close against the sensation, and it vanishes before he can even be sure he really felt it to begin with. 

Dean opens his eyes and finds himself sucked into one of his favorite memories; quite literally. His lips are sealed around Leia’s clit as she writhes underneath him, her cunt clenching around his fingers as she cums. He doesn’t stop, even when she tries to pull away. Instead, he shifts the arm not currently three fingers deep, and pins her hips in place. She breaks from panting to whine his name, high and desperate, but he knows she’s been holding out on him. Her thighs squeeze, one on top of one shoulder, one underneath the other, and he replaces his mouth with his thumb so he can turn and bite the thigh against his ear. He’s rewarded with a sharp, ragged gasp, his thumb circling relentlessly as his fingers push against her g-spot. Her shoulders lift part way off the bed and for a moment she looks like a marionette, her eyes open but unseeing, her mouth hanging slack. He can feel her whole body tensing around him, and he can’t help but grin. 

“Come on, Honey, let go for me,” he drawls, his accent thick and voice ragged. 

He can feel her let go with his finger tips, and his eyes study her face as his skin tingles in a mix of awe, pride, and lust. Castiel chooses that moment to rip him back into the present, and he uses the guise of disorientation to close his eyes and steady his beating heart. His fingers twitch at his side with the urge to wipe phantom moisture off on his jeans, and his cock stirs in his jeans. He rattles off the safety features of the newest Dodge minivan in his head, willing an awkward erection away. 

Traction control, tire pressure monitoring, rear child safety locks.

Since the universe decides against opening a black hole directly beneath his feet, Dean opens his eyes. He looks first at Leia, her warm eyes filled with concern, before turning to meet Cas’ cool blue gaze. 

“Will you teach me?”

“Cas...” Dean runs his hand across his face, his eyes flicking between his friends. “I don’t know. Even if I could, I’m not sure how I would.” 

“I could always take the information straight from the source.” Castiel, Dean was sure, was immune to any and all awkwardness. 

“Castiel! I told you that if Dean didn’t want to help, you would let him go, without any brain spelunking.”

“If you would let me use my grace-”

“You can use your grace to- nevermind. I don’t want to know.” Leia smirks and shoots Dean a wink, and he shudders mentally.

Dean sighs again, his mind battling with its southern counterpart, and blessedly Castiel and Leia stay silent. He gazes at the angel before him, thinking of all the times he’s been saved by his hand, how Castiel has rarely ever asked him for anything but trust. He thinks of Leia, who has been by his side for the better part of 20 years, spent the prime of her life trying to keep his ass alive, and how much she deserves someone who could give her all the things he can’t (or in this case, all the things he can) do. She’s happy with Cas. Cas wants to give her everything she could want. Dean refuses to think about where else Cas would turn for advice, and realizes the decision has been made. 

“Alright. If everyone is okay with this...” Dean gestures to the room again, still unsure there are appropriate words to describe the situation. “I’ll help you.” Leia smiles softly at him, relief washes over Castiel’s face. Dean swallows hard, and thinks there might be a rock settled in his stomach. “How…?”

“Some things are best learned by watching.” 

Of course that would be the one piece of advice Castiel would latch on to. 

“Right. Okay. Well…”

Attuned to his emotions after so many years living beside him, Leia gets up from the bed and stands between him and Castiel. Headstrong, with no room for nonsense, she grasps the open sides of his flannel, pulls him flush against her body, and presses her lips to his. 

It’s been eleven years since they shared a kiss, but it seems as though no one informed their mouths. They fit together the same, and Dean finds himself running his hands up her arms, across her back, pulling her closer, one hand traveling up to the back of her head. She relaxes against him, and it would be so easy for Dean to pretend Castiel isn’t there, to believe that they never fell apart, to find safety and solace in her touch once more, to break down the walls he spent so long building that he can no longer remember if they’re for her sake or his. 

He stiffens, but Leia already knows. She kisses her way across his jaw on up to his earlobe, nibbling softly just behind the curve. She pulls his earlobe with her teeth, before speaking in a heavy low voice. 

“It’s okay, Dean. I want this. Please.” She breathes the last word. Dean wonders briefly if he imagined it, before his resolve crumbles. 

Dean nods, not trusting himself to speak. Leia slips his shirt from his shoulders, and he lets it fall to his feet. He stops thinking, instinct taking over. Her shirt joins his, and he grins when he finds she’s decided to forgo a bra. He backs her on to the bed, his lips trailing hot against her skin as he makes his way up to meet her lips. Castiel shifts behind him, the rustling of his trench coat as he places it on the back of the chair reminding Dean that he’s doing this for a reason, not just living out fantasies. Dean gives control back to his brain, and slows the urgency of his kisses while wondering how to give Castiel a step by step guide on how to make his girlfriend squirt.

“The first-“ Dean’s voice is too low, too thick with lust, so he clears his throat and attempts to continue. “You gotta start-“ Leia stops his stuttering with a kiss. 

“This isn’t going to work if you spend the entire time stumbling over a play by play like it’s your first day on ESPN.”

Dean hangs his head in defeat, the tips of his hair brushing against Leia’s nude chest as it rises. An apology is clawing its way out when Castiel speaks from a spot behind him. 

“Just pray to me.”

Dean turns to meet the cool blue gaze over his right shoulder, and Cas nods at whatever emotions are swirling over his own eyes. Dean finds no doubt in Cas’, no uncertainty, just oceans of trust with swells of excitement that Dean is still sure he doesn’t deserve. He turns his attention back to Leia, who turns a similar trusting, warm gaze on him. She smiles, lips puffy and face relaxed in a nostalgic lust. 

“Okay?” Her voice is sweet, safe, and Dean smiles as the rock in his stomach cracks. 

“Yeah. Okay.”

Dean leans in for a deep kiss, invading her mouth with an expert tongue before making his way down her neck. He prays as he goes along, explaining every touch to Castiel. Leia moans beneath him, leaning in to his touch as he strips her, blunt nails coaxing goosebumps to her skin. He trails kisses and bites down her body, the thumb of his right hand brushing over her nipple, his left resting on her hip as he settles between her thighs. She feels hot and and solid beneath him, and the way she’s relaxed, honey eyes half lidded and full of lust, calms him. Dean bites the inside of her thigh, soothes it with a kiss, and then the absurdness of what they’re doing hits him.

He nearly laughs. It creeps up his throat from deep inside him, threatening to break this tender moment, and he’s not sure that he can hold it in. 

If anyone would have told me, at any point in time, that I would be praying to an angel while demonstrating how to make his girlfriend squirt-

Leia’s hands in his hair bring him back from the edge of hysterics. She pulls, hard enough to move his head, and he twists her nipple in retaliation. She hisses, arching, and she chuckles.

“Focus, Cowboy.”

Dean grins and gets to work. He tightens his grip on her hip, uses his tongue until she’s keening for more, pulling his face closer and fighting against his hold to grind against him. He squeezes her nipple once more before he adjusts himself, latching on to her clit and thrusting the two middle fingers on his left hand in her sodden cunt. He can feel her clenching desperately already, and within a few moves of his fingers she’s cumming.

Once the first one is out of the way, the main key is to keep going, Cas. No matter what she says, or if she tries to pull away, keep going.

Her low pitched guttural groan fills the room, and her thighs clench around his head. He can’t help but chuckle, letting her hip go long enough to force his left arm between her thigh and his ear, pressing the length of his forearm down across her hips and grabbing tight to her right. He adjusts, filling the emptiness where his left hand had been with his right, kissing and nipping at her thigh while rubbing her clit in rough circles with the pad of his thumb. She fidgets, trying to pull away from the overstimulation, desperate whimpers falling sweetly on the air, her body trembling around him. She begins to buck, fighting to pull away, and he can sense Cas stiffen behind him. 

This is where you make your mistake. She’s so close Cas, you can feel her tightening and trying to fight it, but if you really want to make her happy you’ve got to push her into it. Rub her gspot harder, make sure you never let up on her clit, and tell her what you want. She loves that.

“Come on Honey,” Dean purrs, his voice deep and heavy with lust, his accent dripping from his words. “Let go for me.” 

Present mirrors the past, and Dean is awash in deja vu.

Leia’s mouth opens, her whines cutting off to a silent scream. Dean can feel every one of her muscles clenching, her fingers gripping so hard around the bedsheets that the fabric is protesting. The pressure continues building, her shoulders coming off the bed of their own accord, turning her into a marionette of pleasure, a memory come to life. He can feel the release on the tips of his fingers, bringing a grin to his face. 

“That’s my girl.” 

Her silent scream breaks into a desperate cry as her release sprays down his arm. She gasps, falling apart from the inside out. Dean runs his hands up her body as she finally relaxes, the human version of a spring that’s been wound until it snaps. She collapses back down on the bed, her legs extending to either side as her muscles relax. Her chest heaves as she pulls in desperate gasps of air, aftershocks of pleasure still vibrating through trembling extremities. 

Dean smiles softly at her, pressing a soft kiss to her thigh before standing. His cock aches, his erection pressing uncomfortably against his jeans that seem two sizes tighter than this morning. He backs away as Castiel sheds his trenchcoat and settles on the bed, pulling Leia to his chest and murmuring praise between kisses. Dean watches as he feels jealousy blanket his shoulders. It’s her soft begging that finally gets his feet moving again, though his eyes and ears stay fixed on the couple in the bed, his heart aching for it’s happy ending. Sorry buddy, you’re going to have to settle for another long shower.

“Dean.” Her voice reaches him as his hand settles on the door handle, a tangible echo, just as sweet as it was when she was his. “I need you too.” He stops and turns, his heart rate skyrocketing, his cock twitching excitedly. “Please.” She’s always begged more with her eyes than her words, and Dean sees that old flame brought back to life, an ember fanned to raging inferno.

Every fiber of his being is singing all the praises Heaven doesn’t deserve, but still he hesitates.

“It’s okay, Dean.” Blue eyes ground him, just as safe and steady in the bedroom as they are on the battlefield. 

Dean turns from the door, his hands already working at the button of his jeans as he floats back toward the bed. Their clothes are gone before his jeans make it over his hips, and he decides that maybe grace has more advantages than those that are tactile. He pauses at the foot of the bed, the logistics overwhelming his lust addled brain. Shower sex isn’t the only thing that’s complicated. Hell is still just hell, though.

“What do you want, Princess?” Castiel murmurs low into Leia’s ear, and Dean is close enough to see the bumps rise on her skin.

“Deep.” Her tongue stumbles over the single word, her endorphin overloaded brain struggling to process anything more than action and touch.

“I need you to ask for it.” Castiel rolls, throwing one of her limp legs over his hip, dipping two fingers into her cunt and making her eyes fly skyward. “Or you’re not going to get what you want.”

Dean’s cock twitches against his abdomen, and he slowly strokes himself as he watches Castiel’s fingers move, listens to the wet that he caused, feels his body heat under the angel’s sharp gaze. 

They seem to spend an eternity in that moment, washed in lust, excitement, and anticipation. Everything is tense, but Dean feels lighter than he has in years as he allows himself to stop thinking and simply wait to be given a command.

“I want Dean to fuck my ass,” Leia finally manages to gasp out as Cas continues to tease her. “While I ride your cock.” 

Castiel pulls his hand out and settles her slowly onto him. Leia gasps, her hands gripping his shoulders as he guides her hips down, inch by agonizing inch, Dean’s mouth falling open and a grin crawling across Cas’ face as they both watch. Cas maneuvers them until they’re at the end of the bed, his legs hanging over the end and her knees propped on the edge. Dean runs his hand down her back, along the curve of her spine, her skin soft and smooth beneath his time roughened palm. He cups her ass, firm from decades of hunting, and his thumb rubs over a wayward freckle. He spreads it, his tongue darting out to wet his lip as he takes in the view before him, savoring it. 

“Dean.” Castiel’s voice breaks through his trance, and when he finds that sharp gaze, Castiel is holding out a bottle of lube.

Dean nods as he accepts it, his tongue too heavy in his mouth to form words. He lubes his fingers, teasing her hole before pushing one in. He would gladly go to hell again to hear the moan that left her lips as she pushed back onto his hand. He slowly works her open with one hand as he strokes himself with the other, his bottom lip pinched between his teeth.

“Dean, please I need you,” Leia whines, her forehead settled on Castiel’s shoulder as the angel busies himself kissing and nipping her neck, teeth grazing one of her favorite spots.

“Okay, darling. I’ve got you.” He preps, takes a deep breath, and pushes forward.

It feels like coming home. Dean gasps and he’s surrounded by tight heat, his hands digging into her hips, his legs settling against the bed, sandwiched between hers and Cas’s. Dean, a corner of his mind once worried about the possible awkwardness of sharing his past love with her present one, the small rational part of his brain speeding through the consequences of fucking his best friend’s girl while he’s in the room, is suddenly certain that if he moves, he will cum instantly, something he hasn’t done since he was 17.

Dean tries to think of a witty comment, the sudden vulnerability of the situation overwhelming him, the need for a protective wall of humor urgent, even though he knows it will destroy this precious moment. His mouth opens, his tongue threatening to sabotage this perfection, but instead of words Dean moans incoherently as Castiel grabs his hips and forces him to move in sync with his own thrusts.

Dean decides that it’s okay to turn his brain off. He stops thinking, and instead he starts feeling. He reaches a hand around to rub at Leia’s clit, tightens his hold on her hip as she falls limp, her body unable to hold itself up between them. Tears are rolling slowly down her cheeks, drool slipping out of the corner of her mouth as her eyes unfocus and she succumbs to the intense pleasure. 

“Such a good girl.” Cas’ voice is deeper than Dean imagined would be possible, rough and breathless as he throws his head back. “More, Dean. Harder.” Cas guides Dean’s movements, pulling his hips in. Dean plants his feet, adjusting the angle of his thrusts, giving himself leverage for more powerful thrusts, pulling a deep moan from Cas’ lips. “Yes, Dean, good.”

Dean’s balls tighten at the praise, his thighs begin to burn as his pace quickens, desperation driving him. He feels Leia cum again, hears her hiss at the end of a silent scream, but it seems far away. His only focus is chasing the high, getting relief from the pressure that’s settled on his groin, because right now everything is tightening, every muscle is tensing. Dean grasps both of her hips in his hands, his knuckles turning white as his pace begins to falter. He hears Castiel call out, feels the hands on his own hips tense and relax, and finally he’s breaking.

Time is meaningless. He falls onto the bed, years of tension seeped from his body. He feels like he’s floating, relaxed and happy, a constant pain numbed in a way that whiskey cannot help. Castiel cleans up Leia with a snap, and she wakes enough to cuddle against Dean, nuzzling her way beneath his arm just like she always has. Castiel lays behind her, bringing with him a sense of safety Dean craves. 

------

Dean is staring at the gun in his hands, but he hasn’t moved to clean it. He glances at the clock, surprised to find that he’s been unfocused for fifteen minutes. He’s not been able to make it through a quarter of his list, but he can’t bring himself to count the day as wasted as he normally would. He’s been trapped in his mind today, bouncing between nostalgia and present, doing his best to not linger on the new, overwhelming amount of ‘what-if’s and ‘what does it mean’s buzzing around his mind. 

He finds himself falling into another spiral, wondering if this was a one time romp, or if he’s not the only one with unrequited feelings. If Leia still has feelings, what does that mean for Cas? They make each other better, they need each other, and Dean does not have enough room in his mental guilt chest to add that.

A small knock at his door makes him jump, and he clears his throat and busies his hands before telling them to come in.

“Dean?” Leia’s voice is tentative, her eyes troubled. She settles herself on his bed, and Dean forces himself to stay where he is at his desk. His heart is racing nearly as fast as his mind, anxiety restricting his lungs and drying his mouth. “Can we talk?” There it was. The death sentence.

“Of course.” Dean zeroed in on the gun in his hands, focused on the familiar movements.

“I talked with Cas about what happened this morning. It...” She paused, biting her lip as she struggled with what to say next. A hundred scenarios began playing through Dean’s mind, each one worse than the previous. 

It was a one-time thing. It was a mistake. It was something I regret. It was the final straw, I can’t do this anymore, we’re leaving.

“It stirred up some emotions that I buried a long time ago. I hope that I don’t offend you by saying this, or that this makes you uncomfortable.” She took a deep breath, and Dean began to oil the pieces of his gun, glad to have something to do with his hands so that she couldn’t see them tremble as he waited patiently for her to continue, every muscle tensed and prepared for life’s usual kick to his metaphorical (and sometimes physical) balls.

“I still love you, Dean. I’ve talked it out with Cas. If you’re interested, I’d like to … make sure this isn’t a one time thing. Cas is okay with this. He understands that each of you are important to me, and each of you fulfill different areas of my life. I want you both.”

Dean’s hands stop moving. He distantly hears the piece of gun clatter to the floor. Every thought screeches to a halt as he looks up, searching her face for any hint of a lie or a prank. Instead, he finds raw vulnerability, one he had chased away long ago. The walls he had watched her build between them over the years, even the bricks he had had purposefully caused her to lay, were now mere crumbles of brick and mortar. 

A smile begins to slowly spread across Dean’s face.

Taglist:

@impala-dreamer​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @supernatural-idjit-95​ @team-free-will-you-idjits-67​ @missjenniferb​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @maddiepants​ @crashdevlin​ @thoughtslikeaminefield​ @there-must-be-a-lock​ @cracksinthewalls​ @stunudo​ @mskathywriteswords​ @rockhoochie​ @itmighthavebeenintentional​ @wanderingcas​ 

[jokesbound-blog]

☑: What are the biggest differences between you and your muse?

*   MEME   :    nosy munday meme i’m doing on wednesday bc i’m a rebel

      elinor. honestly, there’s not much of a difference between me and break, at least nothing extreme. i’m a bit more compassionate and understanding than he is, but that’s about it. we both suck at letting people close – i guess you could say that i’m better at showing my concern and support for other people. if my friends don’t feel well, i’ll try to do anything i can to let them know that i love them. sometimes, i feel uncomfortable as hell while doing it, but break never really expresses those things in words. it’s super rare.

      … so basically, i’m a bit more open than he is lmao. we suck.

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs Star Trek:TNG 1x11 - “Haven”

aka the “Troi has an arranged marriage” episode.

we get to see Riker smirking as he watches two attractive women in togas play the harp. Oh, Riker.

creepiest message ever for troi: a silvery mask attached to a literal talking cube. Quoth Troi: Oh fuck no.

I don't blame her for being upset; I'm disturbed myself. 

the creepy message box opens up, spilling jewels all over the transporter, and Troi has to inform the oblivious Riker about her upcoming arranged marriage that she very clearly hates

(Item: I cannot tell what is up with her relationship with Riker because the show has given us very little information to date, but I cannot imagine any scenario where this wouldn't be awkward and embarrassing.)

(Left to my own devices, I assume that Troi pegged Riker on the regular and she was the one who broke up with him, but I suspect the writers thought it was the other way around, lol. but it's pretty clear that Riker is dtf aliens and Troi is half-Betazed, so... *shrug*.)

Troi tries to explain her situation to Picard while Riker is mansplaining in the background. RIKER PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.  

All Picard wants to know is if Troi is gonna be sticking around or if he's going to have to find a new counselor, lol.

Troi tells him she won't be staying, and Picard is very clearly disappointed and trying to make the best of it, and you can just SEE the moment where Riker realizes he's still in love with Troi and goes all soft, and it's rather endearing.

(For the record, I mock Riker relentlessly, he's often an asshole, and I hate how the writers keep writing him so he's Always in the Right / expect us to identify with him, but I do enjoy him as a character most of the time.)

Riker leans casually against the wall not looking at Troi LOL. He doesn't have to because she can read his emotions.

Troi: "don't ruin your career for me,"

Riker: "babe, but I wanna"

troi: "how ‘bout no"

 Riker: "okay, then, guess I'll die"

troi: how 'bout you stop being a dramatic bitch and dance at my wedding?”

riker’s like "maybe?" and walks STRAIGHT INTO DATA WHO HAS NO IDEA ABOUT THE WRITHING MASS OF AWKWARDNESS HE’S STUMBLED UPON

Deanna's future in-laws arrive OH THE SPACE FASHION LOL

her fiance Wyatt is human (???) gives her a "chameleon rose" that changes color with her moods, I am SURE we will be seeing more of this magic mood ring flower later as a plot point, but 10/10 excellent gift.

(his sweater game is pretty good, Wesley Crusher should take notes)

Troi calls her mother "eccentric" which is a massive understatement

her mom's first act is to scold her for not using telepathy and to make Picard carry her luggage even though she knows he's the captain

(okay, so Troi is half-Betazed, and her MOM is the Betazed and her dad is human? for some reason I thought it was the other way around but w/e)

the other dude with the elder Troi is her valet, so that makes her snub to Picard even worse, and Troi puts her foot down in the corridor

(love how both geordi and data look at that and agree "not gonna touch that shit")

The fact that Troi's mother is such a raving narcissist makes me love Troi so much more. Like, I already loved her, but this just takes it to the next level.

pretty sure the dude playing the valet is the same guy who was the time traveler in "Where No Man Has Gone Before", lol

picard: please accept our humbly awful '70s space future accommodations

I don't know what color white is on a Mood Rose, but that rose has been pure white ever since Lwaxana Troi showed up

Lwaxana Troi believes in radical honesty, which actually puts her roughly on par with Data in terms of social skills, ironically enough.

Troi, who is a professional diplomat, is like, Mom, please, fuck no, humans are complicated, okay?

"Failure to communicate is inherently hostile" - wow, that's this show's philosophy in a nutshell, isn't it?

I love Electorine, the leader of Haven (the planet they’re orbiting) - she looks like how I imagine a grown-up Ozma of Oz

So Troi's fiance is human? I'm so confused about the politics here, especially when Lwaxana is such a snob about Betazed superiority. 

Troi tries to console Wyatt by saying "I'll only be half as annoying" as a Betazoid/my mother. He doesn't laugh, but I think she meant it to be funny? I LOVE YOU TROI.

He wants to know if she can read his thoughts, she says no, but maybe we'll get there, and then she almost spills the beans about Riker, but catches herself at the last possible moment

to his credit, dude picks up on that right away and asks "Do I have competition?"

Troi says NO, but we all know that's a lie.

Turns out Dude also has issues: he's been hearing voices/seeing the face of a woman his entire life, and he just assumed it was Troi because aliens are Like That, am I right?

he says it doesn't matter but he's CLUTCHING THE PORTRAITS HE'S DRAWN TO HIS CHEST AS IF THEY'RE HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESIONS so I have Grave Doubts

Picard to his personal journal: am I biased? I'm pretty sure I'm not and this is a legit disaster in the making.

oh hey, there's a strange vessel approaching the planet to investigate, so time for another conference!

(ngl: I realize the conference room scenes are unpopular but I personally love them even though they generally do not work on multiple levels from a writing/viewing perspective)  

turns out the ship is full of plague and heavy-handed metaphors about the nature of humanity

Lwaxana Troi causes a scene at the cocktail party quarreling with her future in-laws, and both Troi and Riker are in their own personal hells

data looks like he could use some popcorn

Love Troi in her non-work outfit here

Data tries to chat up the silent valet about his drinking habits, with hilariously awkward results

RANDOM GONG FOR NO APPARENT REASON

Lwaxana has a pet Tradescantia vine that starts crawling on one of the in-laws and Riker has Had Enough

Everyone is appalled to learn that nudism is mandatory at Betazed weddings.

Troi screams at everyone and storms out and Tasha is amused.

Data believes the proper study of mankind is man: "Could you continue the petty bickering? I find it so intriguing."

awww, riker is brooding in the holodeck, lol

SEARCH YOUR FEEEEEELINGS, RIKER

(why does Troi always have to be the adult in this relationship?)

So "Imzadi" is confirmed to mean "my beloved" and Troi asks if they're beyond that now, and Riker's all jealous and defensive, and... surely they have polyamory in the 24th century??

Rikers like "I'm an all or nothing guy," which, okay, fair. BUT WHY THE HELL DID YOU TWO BREAK UP THEN, I'M SO CONFUSED? Did Troi break up with you because she thought it was interfering with your career (not sure how that tracks but whatever)? Or did Riker instigate the break-up? (In which case, I have less sympathy because he shot himself in the foot there! GROW UP, YOU FOOL, GROW UP)

Wyatt the Betrothed shows up and is like, "oh, hey, your loss" to Riker, which just made me roll my eyes.

Riker responds by stalking off in a dignified huff, lol SO EMOTIONALLY MATURE, Y'ALL.

"So we'll go half naked?" AHAHAHAHA, TROI, I LOVE YOU AND YOUR DEADPAN SENSE OF HUMOR SO MUCH.

meanwhile, the plague ship approaches *jaws theme*

turns out the woman in wyatt's drawings is on the ship, although I admit I would not have made that connection if Troi hadn't pointed it out

Wyatt goes to ask Lwaxana for relationship advice, which goes about as well as you'd expect it would.

he decides to break quarantine and transport over to the plague ship because HIS SECRET DREAM WOMAN IS REAL (and also he's a doctor and this is his life dream to cure the plague)

the ship is decorated with portraits of Wyatt at various ages which is totally not creepy at all

so anyway, that's that!

Lwaxana concludes by flirting with Riker, much to his amusement and Troi's annoyance

it turns out the valet could talk this whole time, he just... didn't want to before now? Or maybe he's come to understand humans better enough to communicate on their level... or just really liked the wet bar at the reception

(oh, and I was totally wrong, that color-changing rose was just a space macguffin that didn't go anywhere, sigh)

at least we'll always have the vine-pet-creature-thing!

I still don’t understand why this episode is called “Haven,” the planet has almost literally nothing to do with anything and nobody even goes there.

so this episode has a lot going for it! lots of fun character moments, even if I’m still confused as hell about a lot of things the show should have explained.

am I entertained? oh, absolutely.

[sarcastic-space-gal]

Hide and Seek

Word Count: 1572

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: Swearing, Argument, Angst, some Fluff at the end

Request: Can I request a fic? With prompts 1 and 14 fron the first list?am. Am not for sure whom tho lol either steve of bucky? With sone fluff or angst please?!  by @me-mah-hah

Summary: You and Steve kissed but now he is avoiding you. You are determined to know what’s going on.

Prompts: 1. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

14. “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

A/N: This is my first request! I’m so excited for all the requests I received, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this fic, and feedback are always appreciated! xo xo

The sound of your pen lightly but nervously tapping on the table resonated in the room. Whenever you were in a bad mood and in need to just channel your raging nerves you would just torture your pen, everyone among the avengers knew that already from a long time. So when Natasha passed by the room and felt the tapping growing louder and louder until you completely smashed the pen across the table, she lifted her eyebrow with a surprised look printed on her face.

“Y/n? Can i come in?” she asked calmly “if you don’t want to just say it, there’s no need to smash something at me” she laughed briefly.

You groaned in frustration but answered as composedly as you could manage.

“Sure Nat. Have a sit” she smiled and took a sit next to you near the kitchen table.

“So what did that pen do to you to deserve that?”

“Nothing, I just felt the desperate need to smash something, since I can’t do it with humans yet. Oh if I just could” your face turned red with rage, you eyes like flames as you lifted a clenched fist in front of your face. Nat never saw you like that. Being an avenger could be really stressful but that was beyond the concept and the idea of stressful. Something had happened and she perfectly knew what exactly.

“It’s Steve, isn’t it?” she smirked while looking at you. At the sound of his name you snapped your head in her direction.

“You’re damn right” you said slowly.

“Y/n I told you, you need to talk, about everything and ab-” she was cut off by your furious voice.

“Oh I’d like to talk, but it’s difficult when someone just avoids you” Nat gave you a confused look.

“Calm down and tell me what’s going on” she put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes. “Sorry if I snapped to you, I’m so mad at him... we...”

“Yes?” she urged.

“We kissed”

“YOU DID WHAT?” she exclaimed in utter shock.

“Two days ago. And he doesn’t speak to me since then! I didn’t see him either. I sincerely don’t know what to do Nat...I’d like to tell him what do I really feel, but every time he is talking to me is like ‘Oh you’re my best friend’ or ‘thank you so much y/n, you’re such a special friend to me’ and my heart just drops… I- I don’t know maybe I just misunderstood his intentions towards me”

You could still feel his touch on your skin, goosebumps made their way up your arms just thinking about it. You were sitting on the rooftop of the Avenger Tower, a cool breeze caressing your faces. You were laughing and chatting when suddenly your eyes met in a way they never done before. His eyes locked on yours, his lips parted, you could almost see his heart hammering through his tight shirt.

His glare then dropped to your lips, burning with the need of that kiss he desired so hungrily.

Without any more hesitation, he quickly cupped your face with his right hand and kissed you. It was just as you imagined it: tender but firm.

When you released the kiss he realized what he had done as his eyes widened. Frenetically he stood up.

“Steve-” you started but couldn’t finish the sentence.

“I-I’m sorry I… I have to go” Steve left you on the rooftop without leaving you the chance to answer or say anything.

You were so confused. And now he was a ghost.

You drifted back to reality when Nat spoke up.

“You know that it’s not true y/n! I can see how he acts differently when you are around, how he tenses up or how he would smile brightly whenever you talk to him, come on, and I mean he doesn’t call ‘sweetheart’ every girl he meets.”

“I know Nat, I know he feels something I just can’t figure out what’s in his mind.”

“Girl neither can I, and I know him for a while now.” you two laughed briefly before pausing for few seconds.

“I just don’t understand. If he feels something why he didn’t try to talk about it?”

“I don’t know y/n… you need to face him and have a talk to clarify everything between you two, before you destroy all our pen’s supplies” she stood up and walked to the fridge opening it.

“I guess you are right”

“Oh I know, and you know what? We will have our cake-day now”

“Sorry Nat I have some paperwork to do”

“Oh no no no, come on, leave all these, and help me cook”  she said while taking away your papers and placing them on a chair, making room for all the ingredients.

“You’re amazing Nat, thank you” you said smiling at her tenderly.

“I know that too” she winked.

You two started cooking, enjoying each other’s company, laughing and eating your cake not after making a wild mess in the kitchen.

You really thanked Nat for lifting up you mood, but deep down you couldn’t help but thinking about Steve. Why was he behaving like that?

Steve felt his legs burn as he finally stopped after his daily run. Breathing heavily he leaned his back on a tree, his energies already regained.

Stupid. Just stupid. You ruined everything.

He kept repeating it, every second, every minute, after that night with you.

You two were friends for a very long time now, gosh you were the first person he saw after being awaken from the ice! You were there for him every time he needed anything. You were his best friend. But that feel changed rapidly as it soon become love. He was so mad in love with you that every time you were near him he had to hold back himself in order to not kiss you in the middle of the lunch or a meeting. But he couldn’t lose his best friend, he already lost one once, he would never lose you too.

That night he felt he lost you, that bond was broken, you would probably close relations with him and that broke his heart in million pieces. He couldn’t even look at you in the eyes.

The cool October afternoon was soon becoming night as he decided to head back to the Avenger Tower completely clueless of what he would do next.

The lift made his way up as he nervously tapped his fingers on his hands. When the doors finally opened, Steve tried to exit but couldn’t.

“Why the hell are you avoiding me?” you stood right in front of the lift with you arms crossed over your chest. Deadly serious.

“I needed some time to think...” he urged, looking away from you.

“Think about what?” you watched him exiting the lift as he was heading fast to his room.

He stopped right in his tracks and took a deep breath.

“Us” he mumbled.

“We can’t ignore what happened that night!”

He didn’t respond as frustration rose in your mind.

“Steve!”

“I ruined everything y/n!” he snapped.

Well, you didn’t expect that. Confusion washed over your features.

“You are my friend and I ruined everything”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it!” you shouted. As soon as you realized what you actually said your eyes widened.

Steve looked as surprised as you did, and glared deeply in your eyes as he approached slowly to your figure.

You said it. You actually said it. You don’t know how, but the adrenaline rush kept kicking as you picked up even more courage and spoke up again.

“Yes Steve. You just played with my emotions! You kissed me and now you play hide and seek?”

“I thought I lost you” he mumbled, but you were so caught up in what you were saying that you didn’t hear him.

“Refusing to even talk or look at me? You think that’s funny? What is wrong with you?

“Y/n listen to me!” he argued. “You know what, maybe this is the time I finally tell you” your rage and frustration almost made your eyes water.

“I THOUGHT I LOST YOU!”

“I LOVE YOU STEVE DAMN IT!”

Your anger immediately faded away, as you looked at him.

“W-what?” you both said at the same time.

Steve was the first to spoke up.

“I thought that you would never have something to do with me anymore, I thought I crossed the line and that I had gone too far, I was afraid of losing you, losing you friendship, losing your love”

“Steve I-”

“I love you Y/n” Steve said, looking at you. Unwillingly, you left out a small gasp.

“You don’t know how many times I wanted to cross that line before. But I was too afraid”

“Steve.” you walked towards him.

“You will never lose me, my love or my friendship. Never.”

He listened to you without breaking eye contact when he suddenly touched your hands. He slowly traced his fingers up your arms. You heart hammered in your chest. He cupped your face and kissed you. It was breathtaking, sweet, tender, firm.

When you two parted, he looked down at you and hugged you firmly, placing his chin on top of your head. You encircled your arms around him. You still couldn’t believe it.  

“Are you ok?” Steve asked

“Yeah just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” you said still in awe of what just happened.

“In a very vigorous ways, if I may say” you two laughed as you playfully smacked him on the shoulder.

“You deserve it!”

“Touché” he responded.

[7official7moose7]

Part four.

Sorry if this is sloppily written, It was really late when I wrote this and I was just all over the place at that time lol.

TW: Angst, nightmares, big fluff, the usual. LOTS of Sastiel content this time.

Sam had finally fallen asleep.

It was 3:11 a.m.

He had finally fallen asleep after staring at the clock on the wall as it ticked slowly, reminding him that he’s wasting all these seconds in life just to exist.

But as he did fall asleep, he also fell back into the sea of worries just waiting to drown him in his sorrows.

…

It was like fire coursing through his veins.

Sam finally made it to the surface, but now it was an ocean, and he was in the middle of it. There was a horrible storm overhead, and the waves tossed him and pushed him under and he choked, struggling to keep breathing.

There was no land for miles. Rain poured down hard and cold, and the clouds rumbled and flashed above him. Sam was pushed back under, the water filling his lungs but he wasn’t dying. He was in immense pain, and the water did nothing to help it.

He screamed for Dean, and then Cas. Then Jack. and then someone, anyone who could hear. He yelled until his voice went raw and hoarse, and he could yell no longer. He was enraged, he was terrified and he was exhausted. 

Sam scrabbled at the waves desperately, clawing and flailing furiously. He tried so hard, but all it did was drag him down deeper. 

He began to lose strength, and he began to freeze. He coughed and sputtered and cried out, but it was no use. He was in the middle of the ocean, stranded, freezing and dying.

He was dying.

Either it was hypothermia or his body began to shut down altogether, because he could feel his arms and legs going completely numb, and soon, he could not move his feet. Then his legs gave out.

He was staying above water only by his arms, which were losing the ability to function as well. Thunder rumbled above Sam like a freight train, and he knew it would be the last sound he heard before his final breath took over.

But not yet.

Sam was still fighting. His fingers were completely paralyzed, along with his legs and feet. 

Soon, it reached all the way to his elbows, and he could not move at all.

But not yet!

Even as he was sinking, Sam held his breath and shut his eyes tight. He would make it until he could not possibly make it any longer.

Sam tried so hard, but he simply couldn’t hold it for as long as he’d liked.

But.. Now it was time.

Sam let himself breathe in, he let himself drown in the deep, dark water.

And as he slipped away into darkness, he watched the fish scatter away as he sunk. He heard nothing but the sound of thunder rumbling overhead. He felt his heart stop beating in his frozen chest, for one final time. 

…

Sam jolted awake, his eyes streaming and burning. He breathed heavily and his throat was raw and dry, as if he’d been screaming all night.

He sat up, feeling dizzy and hot. He looked beside him, as if someone would be there, waiting for him. He sighed, closing his eyes.

It was just a dream, of course.

He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his face with his sleeve. He sat on the bed for a second longer before getting up for some water.

And as he poured it, he looked to the motel door.

A short walk wouldn’t hurt, right?

Sam took a sip of his water (hoping it wouldn’t go to his lungs instead, which it didn’t) and poured the rest out. He grabbed his coat, slipping it on over his black tee. He considered changing out of his long gray pajama pants, but then decided against it. He’d just be out for a little bit, who would be awake at this hour anyway?

He slid into his tennis shoes and grabbed the keycard, unlocking the door and creeping out. He shut it quietly behind him and wandered down the sidewalk.

Sam took a deep breath, no water included, and jammed his hands into his pockets. He sniffed; the air was cold when he breathed in. It was cold season, but Sam was sure he would be fine. His teeth chattered just a bit, but he didn’t mind, as long as he wasn’t drenched in ocean water. Or any kind of water, for that matter.

He looked up at the stars, and how they twinkled effortlessly.

I wish it were that easy. Lucky stars.

And as he watched the stars, he thought of Castiel. He smiled softly as he began to feel warm and fuzzy inside. His face grew red just thinking about him. Or maybe it was just the cold. Am I getting sick?

His mind began to wander as he wandered in reality, traveling endlessly through the maze of thoughts coming and going. But, even now, Sam’s mind was like a traffic jam. Sometimes he thought all at once, sometimes he didn’t think at all. And when he didn’t think at all, he made bad decisions.

In one lane, his thoughts and emotions were racing past. In the other, his other thoughts and emotions stayed stuck, because there had been an accident up ahead.

The accidents were his conflicts. Like when he was seeing Lucifer, all he could think about was Lucifer and when he would get out of this mess. Like you do in a traffic jam. All you think about is what’s happening up the road and if you’ll ever get out of it.

Sam kept walking, kept thinking. The world was quiet, listening. He felt weak and achy, and his hands were clammy and trembling. But he overlooked it. I’m not sick.

And once Sam reached a dead end, he turned around and began walking back.

He wondered what he’d do if Cas ever found out. About his feelings, that is. Dean knew, Jack sort of knew, hell, even Jody knew. And Sam knew he was being obvious. He just didn’t want to say anything.

Because the night Jess died, Sam promised her and himself that he would never fall in love again, for her sake.

As he rounded the corner back to the parking lot, Sam thought back to the night she died. The scene of her on the ceiling replayed in his mind, and he felt his breath hitch. He shivered.

Sam didn’t care if he looked like shit right now. He didn’t care that he sounded pathetic, and he didn’t care that he heard the sound of angel wings flapping behind him.

Wait, angel wings?

Sam turned around, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve.

“Sam? What are you doing up this late?” Cas asked as he walked towards the Winchester. Sam stuttered a bit.

“I-I just.. Had another weird dream. Decided to take a walk, get some air.” he said, now caring a lot that he looked like shit. He fixed his hair behind his ear and blushed. “Sorry,” he laughed a little. Cas smiled softly.

“It’s alright, don’t apologize,” he said. Cas thought about telling Sam he was cute, but decided against it, because he knew it would make it awkward. But then he made a face.

Suddenly, Cas’ hands were on Sam’s cheeks, and he blushed.

“C-Cas, what are you-”

“You’re very hot, Sam.”

Sam flushed redder. “Uh, w-what?” he sputtered.

Cas blinked as he put his hands down. “Is that not the term?” he asked, but then realized what he had just said sounded like something else. Now, Castiel was blushing too. “Oh. I-I meant it as in temperature. My bad.” 

Way to not make it awkward, Castiel. Great job.

Sam was still processing, but nodded. The angel thought for a second before speaking again. “We should go inside. You need some water, and you need to cool down,” he said, and grabbed Sam’s hand. They appeared in the kitchen area, and when they landed, Sam stumbled like earlier, feeling dizzy. He gripped Cas’ shoulder to steady himself.

The angel looked to the lamp on the table and switched it on, its light illuminating the room enough to where he could see, but was dim enough not to wake Dean and Jack.

“Can’t you just heal me?” Sam asked, sitting down as Cas poured him another cup of water and set it down in front of him. “No, I can only heal physical injuries, not fevers. Now drink your water,” he said, grabbing and dampening three paper towels. 

I’m not sick, dammit!

Sam reluctantly did as told, and rolled his eyes as Castiel placed two on his wrists and one on his forehead. “That should reduce your temperature,” he said, taking a seat beside him. There was a long pause. Neither of them said a word, until Cas finally broke. 

“Sam, you’re not alright,” he said. “Even Jack knows that.”

Sam looked at him, agitated. “Yes, I am, Cas. If this is about last night, I was drunk. I had no idea what I was saying,” he lied. “Just stop worrying about me. I’m fine, really-”

“No, you are not. You’re so stressed that you’re running a fever, Sam.” 

“I’m not running a fever, you’re just overreacting,” Sam said, but immediately felt sorry. Castiel blinked. “Sorry,” the Winchester muttered.

There was silence, but then the angel said quietly, “You can’t lie to me, Sam.”

And Sam stared at the angel for a moment, a mix of emotions crossing his face. He wanted to tell Castiel everything, not just that he was stressed. He wanted to spill all of his thoughts and emotions right here, right now. But he couldn't. It would be too weird, and he didn’t want Cas to think he was a whiny sissy.

But as he thought this, Cas seemed to hear. He placed a hand softly onto Sam’s, as he did the other night, and looked him in the eye. Holy Chuck, Sam hated when he looked at him like that.

“Sammy, listen to me. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me how you feel. You need to vent at some point, it’s unhealthy for humans to keep to themselves too much.”

And at that point, Sammy broke down.

It started out as small tears, but then Castiel embraced him, and he began to sob quietly. He clung to the angel for dear life, apologizing and sniffling repeatedly. Castiel only shushed him, as if he was a child, petting his hair and whispering soft, reassuring words to him.

“I feel awful, Cas,” Sam breathed out. The angel only hugged him harder, feeling tears prick at the corners of his own eyes. “I know, I know. You’re okay, though. It will all be okay.”

“I-It’s so.. H-hard to keep this up,” he cried. Castiel nodded. “I know, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

This was not like Sam at all. This was a side of him that he never let show, only once to Dean, and that was when Jess died. He didn’t expect Sam to break so quickly around him, but Castiel sort of felt relieved knowing that. He hadn’t opened up properly in years, but he felt like he could trust Cas. 

He knew he could trust Cas. 

Once Sam had calmed down a bit, Castiel pulled away and looked into his red, puffy eyes again. They were glossy and sad, but there was a spark of relief somewhere in the hazel ocean.

Castiel wiped Sam’s tears away with his thumb, and Sam hiccuped. His hair was a mess, his face was red and his throat was scratchy. But Castiel didn’t care one bit.

“I’m s-so sorry, Cas, I-”

“It’s fine, Sam. It will dry,” he said, referring to his tear-soaked shoulder. The Winchester closed his eyes and leaned against Castiel, still sniffling and shaking. Cas held him, running his hand through Sam’s hair while he breathed.

“C-Cas?” Sam said hoarsely.

“Yes, Sam?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Castiel nodded.

“D-do you ever feel like.. Like you can’t breathe?” he asked, “L-like you’re drowning, but.. In your own fears?”

Castiel felt a pang in his grace. He was silent for a second.

“..Yes,” he started, “When I was in heaven, before I met all of you. I had so many responsibilities up there, and I felt stressed. It was very unlike an angel to be stressed about their duties, but I wasn’t created like the others.

“I was afraid of the other angels. I was afraid of how they would react when I told them that I felt that way,” he paused, taking a breath, “And so, I began to cause trouble.”

Sam looked down. “You were.. trying to get out of doing your job. Because you felt like you weren’t cut out for it,” he whispered. The angel nodded slowly.

There was silence for a while, and then Cas proceeded.

“Is that what you dreamt about on the way here? The drowning?”

Sam nodded reluctantly. “And before I went for a walk. The weird dream I said I had? It was worse. I went out so I could breathe.”

“You were drowning in water?”

“Yeah, the first dream was a lake. This one was an ocean, and the waves kept pushing me under. I-It was storming.”

“Oh,” Castiel said, but then Sam’s breath hitched again. He looked down, and there were tears forming in the Winchester’s eyes again. They were tired.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t mean to worry you-”

“Sam,” Cas said, pulling him closer, “It’s alright. Yes, I am worried, but it’s because I care about you. I love you, all of you. I’m supposed to worry.” he grabbed Sam’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Sam tried to squeeze back, but he was just too tired. He managed a small smile, though. A ‘thank you’.

Castiel felt the Winchester’s warm breath slow. He was still and quiet, but he sniffed from time to time.

The angel smiled, knowing Sam had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He fixed his hair, tucking it behind his ear, revealing his peaceful yet blotchy red face. He looked so weak at that moment, and it made Castiel’s grace shatter into pieces.

So, as carefully as he could, the angel took the paper towels off and disposed of them. His temperature had gone down a lot. He took Sam in his arms and carried him to the bed. He placed him down and fixed his hair one more time before leaning down and giving Sam a small peck on the temple. 

He turned to go, but Sam still had a grip on his trench coat sleeve, and it didn’t look like he was letting go.

Cas smiled softly. Alright, then. 

He climbed into the bed next to Sam, and he immediately felt warm and fuzzy inside. 

Sam seemed to as well, for he smiled in his sleep and his grip loosened. He sighed in content as the angel held him close again. He felt safe, he felt loved.

He felt at home.

[bravadoseries]

tell us about your braudrey wasteland baby analysis

this ended up being long and angsty i am sorry . if u want i can analyze songs from his other album in a happier way to even it out lol

“nfwmb”: 

“when i first saw you / the end was soon” - audrey and bruce met on the helicarrier and i think when they fought in new york they both knew they might not come out of it.  audrey was inexperienced and way out of her depth, bruce was really against turning back into the hulk again.  

“Give your heart and soul to charity / ‘Cause the rest of you, the best of you / Honey, belongs to me” - they both give parts of themselves away for the greater good and feel most human with each other

“Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing can get a look in on my baby / Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing” - when hozier wrote this song everyone thought it was about how nothing fucks with his baby because he protects her but he said actually nobody fucks with her because she’s extraordinarily powerful and scary.  i think both of these apply to braudrey—nobody fucks with bruce because audrey protects him, and nobody fucks with the hulk because he’s giant and terrifying 

“moment’s silence (common tongue)” 

“When stunted hand earns place with man by mere monstrosity / Alarms are struck and shore is shook by sheer atrocity / A cure I know that soothes the soul, does so impossibly” - this is related to an upcoming ~chapter~ lol but basically audrey and bruce go on a retreat upstate that’s supposed to give him the opportunity to hulk out and like scare some squirrels in the woods but while they’re there, audrey and the hulk become good friends ? and so that’s why she’s able to reason with bruce when he turns

“almost (sweet music)” 

i would place this one as post aou when audrey thinks bruce is dead.  

“i’m almost me again, she’s almost you” - after a bit, she starts dating again but she’s still very much grieving and hung up on him 

“i wouldn’t know where to start / sweet music playin’ in the dark / be still my foolish heart / don’t ruin this on me” - audrey becomes good friends with wanda and pietro after age of ultron and they haven’t been around long but they ask her to talk about it because she sits in her room playing the same song every day and crying and they’re like … ?

“I got some colour back, she thinks so, too / I laugh like me again, she laughs like you” - i think this is just audrey letting herself be close to people again. it’s not the same but it’s not so lonely

“movement”

“I still watch you when you're groovin’” so this song i think is about like someone dancing and being really seductive and sexy but this reminds me of bruce watching audrey dancing really terribly w tony at every avengers function.  audrey literally cannot dance for shit and it’s endearing to bruce 

“When you move / I can recall somethin' that's gone from me / When you move / Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free” - i think bruce gets kind of fixated on watching audrey spar and fight; like partially because it’s hot but also because he sees her as very powerful and finds it magnetizing 

“no plan” 

i’m gonna go ahead and place this as ragnarok/infinity war 

“for starts / what a waste to say the heart could feel apart / or feel complete, baby” - audrey and bruce reunite on sakaar and it’s a very emotional scene; it’s a waste to say the heart could feel apart because she knows she’s not less without him but there’s this understanding, this thing that’s been off that’s finally righted when they’re back together

“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand / That's how I know now that you understand” - this applies to a very specific moment in ragnarok before they go to fight hela where audrey puts her hand over bruce’s and he looks at her and she’s unable to tell him that if they die right now she loves him but he knows anyway

“There's no plan / There's no race to be run / The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun / There's no plan / There's no kingdom to come / I’ll be your man if you got love to get done / Sit in and watch the sunlight fade / Honey, enjoy, it's gettin' late / There's no plan / There's no hand on the rein / As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” - so this is all very apocalyptic and not to flex but i was at a concert and hozier talked about this line and how the whole song was written about the doomsday clock and a time when it was closer to zero than ever; it’s a song about throwing caution into the wind at the end of the world and i think that’s fitting.  there’s a period where audrey realizes that they’re not gonna beat thanos, and that the snap is gonna happen, and she takes a breath and notices everything around her and just thinks about how she’s lucky to have had it at all.  

“nobody”

“You know when it's twelve o'clock in Soho, baby / It's gin o'clock where I'll wake up, I don't know / And I think about you though everywhere I go / And I've done everything and I've been everywhere, you know” - this just reminds me of when audrey is away on missions and bruce is still at the base; she’s been everywhere in the world because she’s been alive for so long and she’s been around for a lot; the one thing she’s most grateful for her lifetime to have coincided with though is bruce 

 “i’ve had no love like your love / from nobody” - this is just them lol they understand each other on another level

“I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint / I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave” - this is audrey 2 bruce … she would be appalled if he ever tried to get rid of the hulk for good; i think that it’s such a significant part of how they see and understand each other 

“If I had the choice between hearing either noise: The excitement of a thousand or the soothing of your voice / At first chance, I'd take the bed warmed by the body” - they just choose each other.  they choose to be with each other.  this reminds me of the “give your heart and soul to charity” line in nfwmb because it’s like if they had to be heroes without each other they wouldn’t be happy 

“as it was” 

there’s a conversation bruce and audrey have at the safehouse in age of ultron where bruce is saying he doesn’t feel the same since wanda fucked with his head bc of the vision he had, and he’s worried abt whether or not audrey can continue to care for him when the chaos the hulk created wasn’t for any good or if she’s changed her mind and she has to assure him that she hasn’t; there are a lot of lines from this song that remind me of that

-“whatever’s here that’s left of me / is yours just as it was”

-“Just as it was, baby / Before the otherness came / And I knew its name / The drug, the dark, / The light, the flame” 

-“its holds had the fight of my baby / and the lights were s bright as my baby / but your love was unmoved”

-“the sights were as stark as my baby / and the cold cut as sharp as my baby / and the nights were as dark as my baby / half as beautiful, too” (unrelated sidenote but this line gives me chills always)

then the second verse of this reminds me of audrey and bruce in ragnarok: 

“Tell me if somehow Some of it remains How long you would wait for me How long I've been away The shape that I'm in now Your shape in the doorway Make your good love known to me Or just tell me about your day”

“shrike” 

so audrey has a really really hard time saying i love you after bruce leaves at the end of aou, to anyone—she says it to steve maybe once, but she can’t say it besides that one time, and it’s part of why she’s so torn up about peggy dying because she didn’t tell her she loved her enough in the months leading up to her death.  

but also, when bruce comes back, audrey still can’t muster up the ability to say them out loud, and so at the end of infinity war, she’s left without telling any of the people she loves that she loves them.  when she comes back in endgame, she’s able to overcome that to tell them.  this song reminds me of that 

“I couldn't utter my love when it counted / Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now” - this is when she comes back

“The words hung above / But never would form / Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn / Remember me love when I'm reborn / As the shrike to your sharp / And glorious thorn” - this is both; she couldn’t say it, but she’s “reborn” during endgame and she realizes that the worst has already happened countless times; there’s nothing else to be afraid of that she hasn’t survived

“Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted / All of my goodness is going with you now” - this is just audrey when bruce leaves

“talk” 

ok this entire song is just both audrey and bruce when they like each other but don’t wanna say anything about it.  

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found Hey yeah I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground Hey yeah I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around Hey yeah And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me

I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) All the things I would do So I try to talk refined For fear that you find out (Hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you

I'd be the last shred of truth In the lost myth of true love Hey yeah I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of Hey yeah That's found in the last witness before the wave hits Marvelling at God Hey yeah Before he feels alone one final time And marries the sea Imagine being loved by me

“dinner & diatribes” 

i think…..this doesn’t match up exactly but the new year’s eve chapter…..Yeah

“Let there be damage ensued and tabloid news / And that kind of love / That's the kinda love / I’ve been dreaming of”

“would that i” 

okay buckle up this one is a lot

“True that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me / That the sound of the saw must be known by the tree / Must be felled for to fight the cold / I fretted fire but that was long ago” ok this i think is bruce’s perspective; love in withdrawal was the weeping of me = the isolation he put himself in following becoming the hulk was a very bad spot for him even though it was safest.  the sound of the saw must be known by the tree = gotta risk it for the biscuit! must be felled for to fight the cold / i fretted fire but that was long ago = i used to be afraid but now i’m not; it’s worth the risk 

“Oh, but you're good to me / Oh, you're good to me / Oh, but you're good to me, baby” bruce is just continually confused and surprised by the fact that audrey isn’t scared of him 

“With each love I cut loose I was never the same / Watching still living roots be consumed by the flame / I was fixed on your hand of gold / Laying waste to my loving long ago” 

-with each love i cut loose i was never the same = bruce has cut off everyone he’s been close to since the hulk happened and he’s not the same when he’s alone; he thinks he can make it by himself and he probably can but he doesn’t have to

-i was fixed on your hand of gold / laying waste to my loving long ago = this is actually nice bc the gold imagery specifically matches up with what audrey’s powers are, and so there’s that connection to be made 

“And it's not tonight / Where I'm set alight / And I blink in sight / Your blinding light” this also just matches up really nicely w audrey’s powers lol

“sunlight” 

“I had been lost to you, sunlight / And flew like a moth to you, sunlight / Oh your love is sunlight” i think this would be bruce after age of ultron ? he’s been lost to audrey, but when he sees her he gravitates back toward her immediately; he sees her love as sunlight

“the tale is the same / told before and told again /  soul that's born in cold and rain / knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight” - bruce is the soul that’s born in cold and rain and audrey is sunlight

“Each day you rise with me / Know that I would gladly be / The Icarus to your certainty” - i think he’s just devoted to her 

“wasteland, baby” 

okay going line by line for this one lol buckle up!

“All the fear and fire of the end of the world / Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl” - when they’re fighting thanos audrey is actually reminded of bruce; how losing him felt like the world ending, now it’s for real

“Happens great, happens sweet / Happily, I'm unfazed here, too” - when audrey goes at the end of infinity war, she goes smiling 

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you” - they just love each other

“All the things yet to come are the things that have passed / Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass / Like the bonfire that burns / That all words in the fight fell to” - everything that has happened has led them to this moment; loki, ultron, hydra, etc. without that they wouldn’t have each other, but they also probably wouldn’t be dealing with this mess.  it’s not good or bad, it’s just the way things went.  

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you”

“And I love too, that love soon might end / Be known in its aching / Shown in the shaking / Lately of my wasteland, baby” - they know it’s over before it’s over; they can tell what’s going to happen before it happens, and they’re just paralyzed in that moment 

“Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking / Though quaking, though crazy / That's just wasteland, baby” - when audrey goes bruce pleads with her to stay

“And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun / To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on / And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs” - in the years after the snap, bruce has the most vivid dream almost every night where audrey’s . like . ghost comes to him and takes him to the top of a hill and they watch the world end around them.  it’s terrible and every time he wakes up he misses it.  

“When the stench of the sea and the absence of green” - ok lol this just reminds me of how the hulk wouldn’t come fight at the end of infinity war 

“Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen / Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do” - the world ends; half of everything is dead; but they’re still left.  bruce and steve and everyone have to go on living still.  

“Wasteland, baby / I'm in love, I'm in love with you / (That's it)” - this abruptness just reminds me a lot of the snap; that’s it.  there’s no going back.  

[vecna]

Oohh for the fandom meme! Dragon Age?

Send me a fandom!

Oh boy, this is going to be spicy.

It’s also very Anders-negative, so apologies up front.

The character(s) I first fell in love with:

I’m actually not sure which was the FIRST, but it’s a tie between Morrigan and Alistair. I saw fanart of them going around at the time Origins first released, and that’s what got me to try the game! 

Alistair was a breath of fresh air, because at the time, I was used to warrior men in games being all Edgy and Rough, and he was the total opposite and a sweetheart.

And Morrigan was just instantly my goth wife, and had Claudia Black as a VA, so I was sold immediately.

Both still hold a special place for me!

The character(s) I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Loghain is the main one. He does a lot of truly reprehensible shit in the first game. But once I sat down and read the prequel novels about young Loghain, plus saw what he’s like if you recruit him, he grew on me A LOT and now he’s a top fave.

Nathaniel I expected to hate as soon as I saw his name + who his father was, but then the expansion came out and I ended up loving that dude almost immediately. I really wish he was around more after Awakening, and also really wish he’d been a romance option, especially for a Cousland haha.

Merrill is a weird one because she was totally uninteresting to me in DA:O, so when they announced her as a companion in DA2 I was like, “Ehhhh.” Then they punked me by making her adorable and sweet and now I love her.

Plus a bunch of side-characters like The Architect? I liked him a bunch in the novel + Awakening – although I found his Plan in the novel much more appealing. But as the years have gone by, I keep surprising myself at just HOW disappointed I am he’s never appeared again haha.

The character(s) everyone else loves that I don’t:

There’s a few, and all of them will get me yelled at, but here we go.

First: Isabela. This one’s a bit complicated, but it really just boils down to her attitude towards how you play your character. I actively dislike characters who are super sexual – regardless of gender. But Isabela in particular bothers me because she’s constantly pushing her lewdness and sexual humor on you, and when you try to discourage it, she admonishes you with, “Well, you’re no fun.” Her whole character is just… like that for me. Super pushy, overly lewd, gets uppity when you don’t have the same ~liberated~ opinions she does, and this is all played up in the writing like she’s this Empowered Woman the player absolutely must love, especially if they’re playing a male character lol. I hate her for the same reasons a lot of people hate Liara in Mass Effect, but with the addition of pushy lewd jokey characters always rubbing me the wrong way.

Second: Iron Bull. I’ve written a lot about why he makes me more uncomfortable than any fictional character I’ve ever encountered, and I just outright hate him, he makes my skin crawl. If you want details, feel free to DM me, I don’t really want to rant about it again publicly.

Third: Anders. Again, I’ve written a lot about him before, but. I hated him in Awakening, for a lot of the same reasons I hate Isabela in DA2. But the changes they made to him in DA2 are just kinda :/. While I absolutely agree with him about Mage Rights, the level of preachiness they added to him drove me nuts, and the fact that you’re painted as a Bad Guy if you don’t like him blowing up the chantry. And from a purely OOC standpoint: He’s become a figurehead for all the aggressive Discourse people in the fandom, and if I see someone list Anders in their sidebar bio, I know pre-emptively that their blog is going to be full of 6 page long essays of meta about how everything is Problematic, and no thanks.

To a lesser extent, I’m also not fond of Zevran. But in his case, it’s not anything major like the others, I’m just tired of Bioware’s habit of making the bisexual characters overly lewd sex-focused rogues/deviants.

The character(s) I love that everyone else hates:

Loghain, lol.

But also Sebastian Vael? There’s so much about him that I find genuinely fascinating, especially regarding his backstory, and his struggles between his feelings of responsibility to his family vs his dedication to the Chantry and bettering himself. He’s such a dear character to me, and such a pivotal part of any playthrough, I’m always blown away when I remember he’s a DLC character and many people don’t have him.

HOWEVER Anders being the fandom darling means that people tend to unfairly shit on Sebastian for reacting poorly to the Chantry explosion. People also like to label him as a poster child of a White Straight Church Boy, while refusing to acknowledge he’s… not straight, and not exactly a church boy either lol.

Also Vivienne, but I think that one’s really self-explanatory. I love her, and she gives a really needed perspective on the Circle, since most of the mage companions previously were apostates. But of course, she gets written off as a Chantry apologist, and an uppity bitch, when people would def love her for the same traits if she was not black lol.

The character(s) I used to love but don’t any longer:

Justice. And by extension, Anders. A lot of people like to rant about how Justice ruined Anders, but I always saw it the other way around.Justice was my favorite character in Awakening. The whole concept around him, that he was a Fade spirit who took human form and was experiencing life for the first time was SO fascinating. I felt like there was so much to explore there with his character.

Buuuut then they had him merge with Anders. With the narrative being that he WAS a spirit of Justice, but the moment he connected with Anders, it corrupted his entire spirit into something he wasn’t anymore. So essentially, the character I used to love no longer exists, thanks to Anders. And it reminds me of that phrase recently, about how the destination is so terrible you can no longer enjoy the journey? I can’t even appreciate Justice in Awakening anymore, knowing what happens to him.

To a lesser extent, Corypheus. He was SO COOL and the premise of him was AMAZING when he first appeared in the DA2 DLC, but then Inquisition had to go and turn him into a weird shallow mustache twirl villain.

The character(s) I would totally smooch:

None? Idk I don’t really have the Smooch Fictional Character gene.

The character(s) I’d want to be like:

MAEVARIS TILANI. May I one day finally have the confidence in my identity that she does, and also marry a sweet bear man who adores me.

The character(s) I’d slap:

Too many to list, really. Probably Anders.

The pairing(s) that I love:

THERE’S SO MANY. And most of them are with the PC, because I generally don’t ship NPCs together. But my top 3 are:

M!Hawke / Fenris is my ultimate OTP in the Dragon Age series, by a long-shot. Not even sure where to start on how much I love it, but two damaged guys leaning on each other to work through their respective loneliness and trauma is MY JAM. And lmao I love silver-sideburned Hawke chillin in retirement somewhere but being a supportive husband while Fenris goes off hunting the Bad Guys, it’s great.

Solas / Lavellan is a close second, with the caveat that I increasingly prefer it with a male Lavellan. Having the Inquisitor in love with Solas just changes the entire tone of the game for me, for the better, and him actually being the villain trying to end the world while in love with this normie elf is just (chef kiss). Too bad I’m burned out by how overly spammed it is.

Dorian / Inquisitor is in third, I will just always be fond of how it’s a story of the Inquisitor helping Dorian be happy with who he is, escape an abusive family, and realize that he’s allowed to be loved. Good shit good shit.

Some others:

Warden / Morrigan is probably my favorite Origins ship, and that only intensified with the way she talks about the Warden in Inquisition, esp if they’re Kieran’s other parent. What a cute goth family, regardless of the Warden’s gender, cause you can pry Bi Morrigan from my cold dead fingers.

Cassandra / Inquisitor might have a lot of Romance Cliches, but I adore it – although, similar others, I increasingly prefer it with a female Inquisitor. I actively dislike the weird no-homo rejection with her, and come on, a lady Inquisitor being her Knight In Shining Armor is just good storytelling.

Cullen / Inquisitor, for a lot of the same reasons as Cassandra. I love me a cliche romance, but I’m also fond of the narrative w/ him of someone he loves helping him heal through the lyrium withdrawals and take time to rest.

Josephine / F!Inquisitor is just adorable all around, and wholesome, and great.

Varric / Hawke COME ON HOW WAS THIS NOT AN OPTION.

On the rarepair end:

Sebastian / Hawke doesn’t seem like it would be a rarepair – you’d think everyone who loves Cullen/Inquisitor would love this one too. I do! But alas. That said, I’m also pretty aggro about this one with a male Hawke because SEBASTIAN IS CANON BI. WHY WAS HIS ROMANCE STRAIGHT.

Maric / Loghain is a rarepair I will take with me to my grave LOL. Never forget the scene where Maric thought Loghain was leaving, and bolted across the camp with almost no clothes on to beg Loghain to stay. Come on.

Nathaniel / Cousland is dear to me, and I love it so much more than Alistair / Cousland haha.

Greagoir / Wynne, I can’t believe this got validated in canon ahhhh.

The pairing(s) that I despise:

Again: THERE’S SO MANY.

Iron Bull / Dorian is my least fave by a longshot. Again, I have written about why I hate this pairing a great many times, but it’s awful and toxic and makes me deeply uncomfortable, and I could happily go the rest of my life without seeing anything about it ever again. Please keep poor Dorian away from that man. He deserves someone that doesn’t sexually harass him until he’s finally worn down into dubious consent (while drunk) and then outted to everyone about it.

Isabela / Fenris. Sorry, but it’s just bad writing that Fenris bails on Hawke because the physical intimacy triggered his PTSD and he needs space to process, but then will turn around and have a casual sex relationship with Isabela instead. Yikes.

Anders / Fenris. Aveline / Isabela. Alistair / Morrigan. All of the DA2 Hawke/companion rivalmances. I don’t enjoy “these two people hate and antagonize and want to kill each other… but they fuck” in any form.

Cullen / Amell. Yikes.

And basically ALL of the canon wlw pairings in this series suffer from the fact they have men writing them, and as a result they’re almost always some kind of abusive or racist, and skeeve me out. See: Celene / Briala, Leliana / Marjolaine, Branka / Hespith, etc. Please Bioware, I’m begging you to consult some actual queer women. It’s insane how badly they’re treated compared to how the canon mlm couples are written.

FINALLY, I recognize this will be the most unpopular of all, but. As much as I love M!Hawke/Fenris, I just honestly cannot stand seeing F!Hawke/Fenris. There are some pairings where I’m so attached to the m/m or f/f version, I cannot deal with the m/f version anymore, and that’s one of them. (The others are mainly non-Bioware.)