#[ sorry this is like

[super-psycho-lov3]

i cant rant abt this on tiktok they want tof ucking kill me but holy shit is anyone else fucking tired of how many people behave as if ian being bipolar is the end of the fucking world? like there are so many fucking edits where its ian exhibiting BD traits with mickeys reactions and shit and its so fucking annoying as if mickey didnt STAY WITH HIM? not just that, fucker, he dealt with ALL of that and found out why and he did his fucking DAMNEDEST to help EVERY FUCKING WAY HE COULD hello what is wrong with you why are you using the stupid fucking "i dont recognize you anymore" sound SHUT THE FUCK UP ‼️ FUCK. mickey CHOSE ian WITH all of his symptoms FUCK you guys FUCK off jesus CHRIST

[rafeandonlyrafe]

a mini ficlette to say sorry for not uploading as much recently that ended up not at all being mini and being almost 1k words but im posting anyways bc i will get more consistent i swear

also posting on mobile (so the formatting is probably shit) so not doing taglist bc idk how to do that lol. will properly fix everything up when i get home have my precious laptop

enough blabbering, here is the ficlette!

“sarah!” you whisper again, but your friend doesn't budge. you sigh and climb out of bed, glad that its a california king, big enough for both of you to share comfortably, and for your thrashing not to wake her up.

you warned sarah that you were prone to nightmares and didn't mind sleeping on the floor or in one of the guest bedrooms, but sarah insisted it was fine to share as she's a deep sleeper. you look back at her as you slip out of the room, realizing just how true that is.

you walk down the stairs quietly, glad that the stairs don't creak too loudly. when you reach the first floor, you pause to make sure you didn't wake anyone up before wandering through the house. aimless pacing is your best solution to getting over a nightmare, moving your body to tire it out and easing your mind at the same time.

you hum softly to yourself, a comforting tune your mother used to sing to you when you were a child. you don't know the name of it, but the melody is cemented in your memory.

you admire the art on the wall, your eyes having adjusted to the moonlight shining through the windows enough to make it out. you see a movement out of the corner of your eye and gasp, turning when the noise reaches you of the front door closing.

“what are you doing awake?” rafe asks, his voice low as he sneaks back into the house. what you didn't know is that he stayed out late just to avoid you, not wanting to get involved with his sisters friend but unable to control his emotions when around you.

“i-i had a nightmare.” you explain, eyebrows knitting together as you wait to hear the judgement coming from rafe. a scoffing laugh at still getting nightmares, maybe him calling you immature, a child, but it doesn't come. in fact, his face softens.

“im sorry.” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, briefly pushing it off his forehead before it falls immediately back into place. “what usually helps?”

“walking around.” you wave your hand in the air, indicating that you just wander.

“can i join you then?” rafe offers, and you give a small nod. “yeah. yeah, totally.” you smile as rafe comes to your side, joining each other in slowly walking around the first floor of the house. you're silent for a couple minutes before you start to hum again, not missing the smile that graces rafes face when your tune begins.

your music is interrupted by yawns, until you're doing more yawning than whistling. 

“come on, let's get you to bed.” rafe says when you pass in front of the stairs, a firm hand on your back. you nod, letting him partially support your weight as you walk up the stairs.

“thanks, rafe.” you say softly when you reach his door.

“will you be okay?” he asks, a hand smoothing over your hair, his fingers twirling the end before dropping it. “i mean, with your nightmare.”

“i-i probably will be.” you say honestly. usually once you have a nightmare that wakes you, you don't have another when you manage to get back to sleep.

“you can-” rafe clears his throat, his eyes darting around your face. “you can sleep in my bed. if you want… with me.” rafe clarifies after a moment when you just silently stare at him.

“like… cuddle?” you question, wanting to make sure his intentions are very clear.

“yeah. cuddle. i can hold you so you don't have any more nightmares.”

“yes. yeah” you nod, “id really like that, rafe.”

“okay.” rafe smiles, opening his door and letting you walk in first.

you don't spend time looking around the room, heading right for the bed hoping that rafe doesn't see your shaking hands. 

rafe moves with you, pulling back the covers so you can climb in, and you let out a soft sigh when your head rests against the pillows. you lay still as rafe adjusts next to you, pulling the covers over both your bodies.

you're silent for a moment, before rafe turns and looks at you in the low light, “gonna come closer?”

you let out a soft giggle, sliding to meet rafe in the middle of the bed. his arms wrap around you, your head coming to lay on his chest, feeling natural and right as you lay a leg over his, your bodies fitting together as if they were meant to be.

“if a nightmare wakes you up and for some reason it doesn't wake me up, just shake me awake.”

“okay… thank you rafe.” you say, laying a hand over his chest. 

rafe presses a kiss to the top of your head, his hand coming to cautiously rest on your lower back, and when you let out a hum of approval, he begins to rub over your pajama shirt.

“what do you think sarah is going to say when she wakes up and im not there?”

“don't worry about sarah. don't worry about anything right now, y/n. let's just get some sleep and we can worry about things in the morning.”

“okay.” you nod, picking your head up to look at rafe, his skin reflecting blue from the moonlight. you lean forward and press a light kiss to his jaw, and then another stronger, more meaningful kiss to his cheek. you move for his mouth but pause before you fully make contact.

“in the morning.” you whisper, not wanting to make a serious move on a sleep deprived brain, and rafe nods, eyelashes fluttering.

“in the morning.”

[hizznbyte]

oh shit guys I forgot I was a Kittisaurus centric blog.

But in all seriousness sorry for not like, posting as much as I would like to 😭 had to cancel all posts on my here and on my main because of exams and shi it’s really.. annoying ughh

I’m working on a Kittisaurus-ChuChu In Wonderland adjacent AU thing uhm send art ideas yah :333

[honeydots]

Otp ask!!! 19, 22, 29 for xanlow- you can do all three or just pick one :D

OTP ask game

expectedly, this got long, so im putting it under a cut!

19: What do they fight about most often? (Alternative: what was their biggest fight?)

ohgh. pre-relationship its certainly the same thing they get in arguments abt in-game, which is laslow's behavioral issues (ESPECIALLY regarding women LOL) but post relationship--i think, at least, laslow is a pretty devoted partner. so the flirting issue dwindles (tho its fun to think abt the process of him successfully killing that habit~), so it's not the most prominent thing they argue abt anymore. on laslow's side, once laslow starts getting comfortable calling xander out on some of his Things, it'd result in the potential for little spats. his work ethic, his harshness, his stubbornness. i don't think xander takes what he finds to be unwarranted critique particularly well. he's not used to it, either, not coming from laslow. so he gets huffy HAHA

on the other hand, something i rly like for xander's side is him pointing out the ways that laslow will Not let go of some of his retainer habits (i wrote a fic abt this), and trying to get laslow to recognize that he holds a lot of worth to xander. also, i dont think laslow's issue of not wanting to burden ppl with his problems will just go away, and i think the more xander realizes that's something he does, the more he starts pestering him about it.

with all this being said i think it does take a lot to get them into an actual, lasting, *argument* once they're in a relationship. probably would take a pretty specific scenario? i don't think it's impossible that it could happen, tho.

22: Love languages? How do they get around differences, if any?

rubs my hands together. i rly rly think xander is a gift giving man.... i think he's also more physically affectionate than expected (and can get particularly touchy if he gets jealous (...which he does. more on my hc that xander's harsh punishments for laslow flirting w women were fueled by jealousy later KFJSKDFJ)). on that note, i think he's also more chill abt PDA than expected too, but he can get awkward around his siblings.

laslow i think is more wordy abt his affection!! both in giving affection and in receiving it, and i think it takes some communication for xander to start verbalizing in a way that resonates with laslow heh. physical touch seems very obvious for laslow too considering that he does literally glomp xander multiple times HAHA tho when xander initiates it i think it flusters him quite a bit while they're early on in their relationship :3

i dont necessarily think they clash, but they need to nudge each other in the right direction sometimes!! neither of them are mind readers so it does take some effort, tho.

29: First date? (Give as much or little detail)

first date.... hmm...!!! i feel like their first date would go along the lines of that they've been in a relationship for a while, and laslow ends up being like we NEED to go on a DATE that's what people DO. not just an outing (waggling his finger), but a defined date. laslow would be the one to set the whole thing up (and honestly, the reason he probably feels like they haven't been on a date before is bc *he* hasn't taken *xander* on one, tho ultimately this would still be the first time they've been on a defined date) and hmm perhaps they'd see an opera together, or something. i think it'd go well, too, no catastrophes or major issues. and from then on they do start doing little things together more often. not always quite as high end as an opera, but it opens the way!

[blazingstar29]

songs that are free therapy

vienna - billy joel

homesick - noah kahan

i'm leaving on a jet plane - john denver

heading south - zach bryan

angel - paul cauthen

[autistictaylorhebert]

Could you talk more about the different reasons you think Taylor should have been in Ward?

It's. Complicated. and I think the whole question of where Taylor should have been post-worm is pretty personal and subjective. Long deranged post below cut.

Taylor's post-worm fate has changed multiple times, going from:

Taylor is alive and on a world without powers, which is a metaphor for heaven (Worm epilogue).

Taylor is Literally dead, and in some kind of heaven (wilbow on various forums).

Taylor's fate is "meant to be ambiguous" and "what you want/need it to be", whether that means a alive, in a coma, dead, or whatever (wildbow on reddit).

Taylor is "gone", and is no longer part of the story. Her fate is ambiguous apart from the reading where she is still with the undersiders (Glow-Worm, Ward).

I can kind of see the logic behind this (wildbow was trying to appease everyone at once, and was later trying to make space for Victoria's story), but at the same time it's incredibly frustrating. Especially for Ward, her being "gone" very much feels like she 100% was killed off. She is less present and active than people who definitely canonically died. She is "narratively dead".

So I guess a lot of the "I wanted Taylor to be in ward" desire is basically just a "I want Taylor to not be dead" desire? Maybe?

Which is a weird thing to articulate. Maybe it's more useful to look at the reasons people want her to be dead or like the idea of her being dead, and why I don't agree with them;

"Taylor losing her powers or dying is form of narrative punishment."

I think I was maybe more comfortable with this idea when I first read worm 7 years ago, before I read ward.

However, ward reframes this, as the story conflates narrative punishment/justice with in-universe justice. It's hard to get behind the idea that Taylor should be "punished" by the story because the the final beat of Rain's arc is that he is punished by both the story and the Gimel judiciary system (as much as they have one?), with this being framed as a good thing.

It's like, I can't uncouple narrative judgement and in-universe legal judgement anymore, because ward very much frames them as same thing.

"Doing weird Panacea brain surgery to yourself should have consequences and weight."

This one makes a lot of sense- if a character takes an important, risky action/choice, that action should have "weight" to it. It should have staying power in the story outside of questions of moral judgment.

The issues I have here are that;

A: I don't think that it's well established that becoming Khepri was that much of a risky or irrevocable move? It's certainly not unique or peerless. The brain issues and inability to recognise others appears before in the S9 arc and is cured there. There are also implications at the end of Ward that the Titans can be cured or returned to normal/resurrected. Kenzie's dream box, Teacher's experiments, the stuff Cryptid does... there's just, so many similar things that just don't have the same weight to them, but which are similarly risky and dangerous in-universe.

B: I don't think that the story as it stands, with Taylor being dead, does treat Khepri as something with weight and staying power? Basically every cape group in existence has a reason to be mad at Taylor, and, by extension, the undersiders, but this never seems to matter or be extant in ward? Similarly Taylor being healed off-screen or dying as a way to deal with her memory issues feels like a huge cop-out. I would have loved a background thread of Taylor having to re-learn to speak and read, and re-learn how to be a person. I would have loved to see her painfully and gradually heal. I would have loved the aftermath of GM to actually be difficult.

"Taylor is a fundamentally self-destructive person, and GM/Khepri was an act of suicide."

This is probably the idea that I have the most trouble with.

There's a lot of personal stuff I could talk about here, and without getting to deep into it, a big part of this is that I don't think that I'll ever be able to enjoy a character arc that boils down to "this girls gets traumatised by bullying, so she becomes self-destructive and eventually kills herself".

Taylor obviously is self-destructive and (in a sense) suicidal, but if the end of the story is framed like that then it's not something I'm equipped to enjoy or find properly impactful.

However, there's a less personal, more nuanced problem here, which is that I think that this take on Khepri describes Taylor as an incredibly static character, who can't heal, and/or is unable to heal?

Or, put another way, if Taylor is a character who is fundamentally unable to change or heal, I don't think that worm takes the the time to explore this (what happens when she tries to heal/change, etc) well enough. This reading doesn't say anything, it doesn't feel earned, and it robs her of agency in a weirdly lazy way.

(having a small amount of time in ward would allow for some of this exploration, and ask questions about who she is when there isn't constant major threats to react to, or without the apocalypse breathing down her neck, etc.)

Anyway. Again, it's a very subjective topic, and here are probably some perspectives I haven't considered, but these are just my takes on the matter (or some of them anyway).

[inkykeiji]

yeah but imagine being the ONLY one that can make both sukuna's heart and cock throb, that even hes mad at this fact and at himself... I think he'd be so absolutely violently possessive, more than your other iterations, just cause I picture him exactlyyyy like the anime makes him out, minus the curse lol but I picture him a bit more controlled yet 10x more sadistic

omg anon yes yes YES a million times yes to literally all of this!!! you reached into my brain and plucked this from the depths, i completely agree with you 100%!!! that’s exactly why i think exploring sukuna with some sort of ‘significant other’ (is he capable of ‘true’ love??? who knows!! i’d be exploring that for sure!!!) would be SO much fun—because you’re entirely right, he would be so incredibly pissed that someone (and probably someone he deems extremely weak) has such control and power over him (his body + his emotions + his mind). because this makes him susceptible to vulnerabilities, and oh no, he can’t have that, he must immediately take full control over you so he can ensure that YOU never hurt HIM; so that you can never be used against him, as bait or leverage. 

i think it’s due to these facts above in addition to his inherent selfishness (which i think would translate to him needing to own you in a relationship type dynamic, plus a hefty dose of jealousy) that would be the root of this extreme possessiveness you’re talking about. 

he really would!!! he’d literally be touya-nii dialled up to a million HAHAHA. because while touya-nii has the ability to feel a few cinders of guilt on very rare occasions, and can feel something somewhat similar to ‘love’ for a select few people, sukuna cannot feel anything other than pure obsession. 

i agree! i think he has an impeccable amount of self control. he very, VERY rarely loses his cool in any way unless he allows himself to lose his cool. he could be seething with anger so strong and so potent it’s melting his insides, but on the outside he’d still be extremely apathetic—calm and unbothered. and he’d stay that way until he decides to allow his opponent to know he’s pissed off. but with you, with you it’s different, because you’ve learned to read him; you know how to decode the sharp glint in his eye or the slight twitch of his lips or the barely there flare of his nostrils, and that pisses him off, too, because that’s yet another weakness, a crack in his meticulously crafted mask. even still, he isn’t going to show you, or fully unleash it on you, until he finds the opportune moment; until the time is perfect. 

he’s mean as FUCK. he’s mean for no reason, he’s mean for fun, he’s mean for stress relief. he’s mean when he’s happy and he’s meaner when he’s angry. he’s mean as a form of entertainment, because he just loves the expressions and reactions he can so easily conjure from you, and he’s mean as a form of experiment, to see how far he can push you, which actions get which reactions, etc.. it’s his favourite pastime, it’s how he shows his love, he tells you, and you should be honoured he’s even bothering waste so much attention and effort on you at all as if he ever had a choice in the first place <3

[lorileopard]

When TF does dunkin open and who let me stay awake this long alone in the dark

[decaeysa]

if I had infinite money I would have so many sick fuckin tattoos and part of me wants to copy akali’s back piece but I already have One dragon 😔😔😔😔

[pinkaditty]

hey why did i come back to this post to find comments n reblogs by nonblks saying shit like "oh i don't know any black people :(" or "i have so few black friends" like did u really think that was the point of this post. why do u people treat posts like this like a fucking progress report or a memory dump are y'all insane??

we aren't here to listen to you confess abt how you grew up in a mostly homogeneous area and have few, if any, interactions with black people. that's not what this post is abt bc that could apply to literally anybody.

this post is just abt how little love in the world is allotted for black people. it's thought provoking, and if anything, asking you to rethink how you engage with and consume blackness. you don't have to like a lot of things from black culture, but the least we ask for is respect and love without appropriation.

typically, the things we create are stolen from us and are called "ghetto" and "ratchet" and "dreadful", and then they are repurposed for the rest of the world and praised by those who consume the appropriated, repurposed, fake version of what we made. you love the things we make, but that same love is never extended towards us. that's the fucking point.

i mean god forbid i decide to do something for the sake of my blackness. ill be ridiculed. and god bless a nonblk who does the exact same thing, for they will be praised.

in all of this, where is the love for me?

why must there be a slur for me in every language? why must there hardly be a single place on this earth I could go and experience no racism? why must i be shunned and unloved for something that is completely out of my control?

and why, when i embrace all the negative labels, all the hatred, all the segregation, and instead make it something beautiful, do you still rob me? hate me? shun me? i have hardly done anything except find a way to exist.

god forbid i exist as a black woman.

truly not to sound defeatist or cynical but it really does blow my mind how little love people choose to extend to black people lmao

[cordspaghetti]

really factual recounting with no embellishments whatsoever

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[burins]

"he would not fucking say that" but it's "they would not be having carefully negotiated bdsm manual sex"

[jotasuis]

How I found out about trump getting shot

[intercrusher]

this is their foreplay

[linddzz]

Actual image of me fighting for my fucking life on discord