#[ so old what the h*ck ]

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Something Wicked This Way Comes AU Skits:

A government agent: Would you like to join our team of highly trained and special indivi-

Reader: F*ck off

Government agent: I really think you'd like this program of ours-

Reader: I said f*ck off

Government agent: But you haven't even heard of what you'd get-

Reader: I'd get brainwashed and set on your personal enemies like a dog, believe me, we know the shtick, now f*ck off! I'm drinking my beer!

Reader: is nursing on a root beer

Government agent: knocks the drink out of Reader's hands

Reader: ...

Reader: You little f*ckin' @&>/ !!!! tackles them, biting and scratching, then kicks them out of the soda shop

Reader, answering why they haven't sought out their old "pals", Wolverine and Sabretooth: Well, would YOU try to seek out someone who you haven't had a decent conversation with since the early 1900s who then stabbed you in the guts after his brain got scrambled, or seek out the guy who got so fried in the noggin he tossed ya off a freakin' cliff after beating you to a bloody pulp? No? Well, that's what I thought!

The X-Teens: What the h*ll??!!😨😰

The Brotherhood: That's b*dass!!!🤩😍

The adults: Who did you say you were, again, Mx. Reader? 🧐🤨

Wolverine: I tore their guts out? Poor kid... Hmmm... something still isn't adding up...

Sabretooth: Eh, I toss a lot of people off a cliffs... and turn a lot of people into bloody pulp. Good on them for surviving! Except they seem too familiar to be just a random hit...

Reader: sweating bullets Um... I'm... leaving, right now! runs off, disappearing into the streets

Everyone: ... Okay, we need them as our new member-

Reader, seeing the X-Teens broke into their house and took something: Oh you little...

Reader: JAMES LOGAN CREED HOWLETT!!! GET YOUR F*CKIN *SS DOWN HERE TO FIX YOUR BRATS' MESS, OR SO HELP ME I WILL DRAG YOU BACK HERE BY YOUR F*CKIN' EAR!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!

Logan: Who the h*ll is screaming at 1:00am in the morning?!

Logan: spots his kids sneaking into the mansion carrying an old and stained box

Logan: Kids. What. Did. You. Do.

The X-Teens: ... Um... we, um... maybestolesomethingfromReader!! But we had to! They're not telling us something, and we think it's important!

Logan: Well, it looks like you're all returning it, unless you want to be in the Danger Room for the next five hours 😡

The X-Teens: Please, just a peek! 🥺

Logan: ... Ugh, fine, just one look. Then we're gettin' in the car and returning it, you hear me?

The X-Teens and Logan, looking into the box: 😶

The box: full of video tapes, recorders, old papers and journals, and different rocks and fossils and old heirloom jewelry

Logan: Okay, fine, you take one thing, something that would be hard to miss-

Kitty: Done! grabbed an old recorder

Logan: I'll hold onto that, since you kids got us into this mess

Later-

Logan, listening to one of the many recordings in shock: It's been nearly two centuries, but I still miss James and Victor, even if they were both quite brash at times... Boys, right? ... Ha... I think Jimmy is called "Logan" nowadays... I think I should leave him be; he seems happy with his friends, he doesn't need me anymore... I suppose Victor doesn't need me, either... I guess it's hard to miss someone that they can't remember... well, I think that perhaps this summer I'll be able to finally pass-

Logan: pauses the old recording

Logan: ... I need to find them, NOW-

[ad0rechuu]

۪ ★ ۫ MILKY WAY ୨୧

based on milky way by seohyun

SYNOPSIS. ━━━━━ It’s not everyday that your friends childhood friend turns out to be the girl that you literally have a fan account for, but for Seonghwa, San and Mingi it’s become a reality. being able to get close to your bias is great! even if she does have a raging crush on someone else…

6mar23 | st. 09/03/23 ━ fn. 31/08/23

pairing. ━━━━━ college students! fans! park seonghwa, choi san, song mingi x fem! idol! reader (x idol! oc)

featuring. ━━━━━ ateez, kang seulgi (red velvet), fatou samba (black swan), park sujin aka swan (purple kiss), shin yuna (itzy), do hanse (former victon) oc, fem oc

genre. ━━━━━ smau, written, humor/crack, fluff, angst, suggestive, love square, idol/college au, strangers to friends to lovers, really slow burn, pinning, secret identity

warnings. ━━━━━ i’m not a native english speaker so my english might be a little off sometimes ! ! ! timestamps/sm numbers mean nothing, sexism/slutshaming, swearing, mentions of food/sex/serious topic, kys/kms and other questionable jokes, use of pictures for yn but only for reference (only of dark skin poc used), cyber bullying, ssngs, mental illness/anxiety, mentions of alcohol/drugs. small age gaps, more thorough warnings in the actual chapters, let me know if missed smth

notes. ━━━━━ the taglist is closed, spam likes are fine but consider reblogging with comments of ur thoughts (not only on my work but on other authors work too!) credits to the rightful owners of all the graphics n music

PROFILES. ━━━━━ SANRIO TRASH (STAR) ᜊ THE VIRGINITY CORNER (ATEEZ + YNS BBGS) ᜊ EXTRAS

PART 1. PRE TIME SKIP :

★ CH 000. prologue: HONGJOONG HAS FRIENDS?!

★ CH 001. CLONE FANTASY

★ CH 002. THE JASPER TO MY SHERLOCK

★ CH 003. SUS, VERY SUS

★ CH 004. DON’T LEAVE ME TALL FUCK

★ CH 005. EDIBLE SCENTED CANDLE

★ CH 006. MY LITTLE MEOW MEOW

★ CH 007. ONE OF THE GIRLIES

★ CH 008. SHES SO PRECIOUS!!

★ CH 009. IS YN OKAY?

★ CH 010. NO FANBOYING

★ CH 011. INTRODUCTIONS: PART I

★ CH 012. INTRODUCTIONS: PART II

★ CH 013. SUPER COOL AND HOT (RESPECTFULLY)

★ CH 014. AESPA WAS RIGHT

★ CH 015. GODDAMNIT PARK SEONGHWA

★ CH 016. WHAT THE H*CK

★ CH 017. I’M SO HASTAG SRS

★ CH 018. OPERATION: YNGYU

★ CH 019. HE’S UP TO NO GOOD

★ CH 020. PRAISE KINK ERA

★ CH 021. BAES JUST LIKE ME FR

★ CH 022. NVM Y’ALL HE RESPONDED

★ CH 023. TWO HEART EMOJIS

★ CH 024. RPS LEGEND

★ CH 025. KANG POMPOMPURIN

★ CH 026. BEGINNING OF A CHEESY ROMCOM

★ CH 027. WTFDYM

★ CH 028. IMAGINE NOT TALKING

★ CH 029. BLACK LIST SPEED RUN

★ CH 030. AS LONG AS SHE’S HAPPY

( EXTRA. ASK THEM ANYTHING EVENT:: PART i )

PART 2. POST TIME SKIP :

★ CH 031. BOMBASTIC SIDE EYE

★ CH 032. AS HOT AS I EXPECTED

★ CH 033. MY BABIES (AND KIM HONGJOONG)

★ CH 034. EVEN THE YANDERES

★ CH 035. DONGSAENG ZONED

★ CH 036. A STRANGE FEELING

★ CH 037. OLD FRIENDS

★ CH 038. I DON’T THINK I’M OKAY

★ CH 039. MINGI UR A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR

★ CH 040. LOVELY

★ CH 041. STEP BY STEP

★ CH 042. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

★ CH 043. OOPS

★ CH 044. WHATDIDIDOTOMYSELF

★ CH 045. LOVE LETTERS TO LEE HYORI

★ CH 046. LOSER DOESN’T EVEN DESCRIBE IT

★ CH 047. IF ONLY SHE KNEW

★ CH 048. LE’ ASTRE

( EXTRA. STAR’S 5TH MINI ALBUM :: LE’ ASTRE )

★ CH 049. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S UNHOLY

★ CH 050. I’M ALRIGHT, I PROMISE

★ CH 051. BUTTERFLIES

★ CH 052. #STAR IS KILLING ME

★ CH 053. OK? OK! OK

★ CH 054. PURSUE HAPPINESS

★ CH 055. WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL ME

★ CH 056. THE TRUTH

★ CH 057. SERA WATANABE

★ CH 058. XD

★ CH 059. MILKY WAY

★ CH 060. LOVE

( EXTRA. ASK THEM ANYTHING EVENT:: PART ii )

ENDING O1.

★ 00i. PERUVIAN LILIES

★ 0ii. THE PRETTIEST

ENDING O2.

★ 00i. WHAT MAKES HIM, HIM

★ 0ii. LOM(OMMY)L



ENDING O3.

★ 00i. FINAL PUZZLE PIECE

★ 0ii. MINE.

★ AFTER WORD.

milky way © ad0rechuu, 2023. do not copy/repost.

[miheartsedthings]

NEW NSFW Alphabet ~ Headcanon~ Billy Hargrove

Minors DNI

SO, I've taken the liberty of changing this up a bit. I've redesignated some of these letters because I think we've all seen the old ones so many times. Also, I think these changes could be more interesting for Billy in particular. Mind you not All of these are different, just some.

Enjoy

A- Aftercare (What is he like right after sex?)

Billy is attentive. He knows how rough he can be so after he's calmed down, he takes care to make sure you're okay. This can look like verbal check ins or bringing you water and towels. He'll make sure you're safe and comfortable.

B- Body Count

Billy gets around. He stopped counting after 30.

C- Cum

Billy likes it inside you. Rather that be your mouth or elsewhere, he likes the idea of the essence of himself being in you. On your chest is a close second.

D- Dirty Talk

Billy is big on dirty talk. He gets really into it and can't help telling you how good you feel and giving orders (stroke that c*ck, baby). He has no problem telling you what he plans to do to you.

E- Easy (Does he play hard to get?)

Billy is usually easy. The only exception is if you're desperate. Then, he'll tease you, making you beg and tell him how badly you want him.

F- Fight

Arguments with Billy don't typically turn into sex, believe it or not. When he's actually angry, Billy doesn't feel safe, and if he doesn't feel safe he's not getting aroused. He's much more likely to say something to embarrass you and then storm off.

G- "Good Girl"

Sex being one of the few times he can be openly affectionate, Billy showers you with praise. He's a big fan of telling you what you're good at, how nice you taste, how good you're doing. Etc.

He likes when you tell him how he's making you feel, and he LOVES to hear you say you're all his.

H- Hickey

YES, he loves giving you hickeys, all over your body but especially in places where people can see them. When you give him a hickey he wears it like a badge of honor. (Side note, this just gave me an idea for a story 😘)

I- Intimacy

Billy really enjoys intimacy and feeling loved by you, he just has trouble verbalizing it. He expresses love physically, he wants to touch and kiss and fondle you to show his affections. He's also slower to anger with you and will show up around you.

You know how cats pretend they don't care about you and then just "happen" to be in the same room as you all the time? Yeah, that's Billy. He just happens to show up to parties you're attending, even parties you're throwing that he wasn't invited to.

He crashed a wedding you attended because he heard you didn't have a plus one.

J- Jealous

Does it even need to be said? Billy will get jealous if your gaze lingers on a poster too long. He's a walking nightmare to any guy who looks your way. He's your scary dog privilege.

When he gets jealous there's a 50/50 chance that he's just as mad at you as the other person. Sometimes he views you as too innocent to notice other people lusting after you. At other times he accuses you of having a wandering eye.

It takes a long time to talk him out of his jealousy, but it always comes back to reminding him that he's good enough and you aren't going anywhere. After a jealous episode he's usually feeling vulnerable. Kisses help.

K- Kick (Something he's always kicking himself for)

Billy regrets the times you've seen him lose control of his anger. He wishes he could've been better when you met so you didn't have to see any of that and he could've avoided hurting you. Now that he's growing he just wishes he could've been a better man for you in the beginning.

L- Location

Billy is fond of car sex. He likes to get you in the backseat and put down a towel to protect the seats. He also likes to get you alone at a party with the music to cover the sounds.

M- Motivation

Billy gets turned on easily. He loves when you try to flirt with him, even if you're bad at it. If you're bad at it then he just teases you about your crumby game and watches you get flustered which he finds extremely cute.

He loves you in skirts and halter tops. He loves seeing you naked in his leather jacket. He'll pretty much f*ck you at the drop of a hat.

N- No

No scat, no golden showers, no sounding.

O- Oral

Billy is a big fan. BIG BIG fan of oral, both giving and receiving. In a way he's more proud of his skills with his tongue than with his stick. In a way it feels like more of an accomplishment to know how to use just your mouth and fingers to get someone off.

P- Position

His favorite position is cowgirl, believe it or not. (More on this later) A close second is having you flat on your stomach. He likes to have you like that with an arm around your neck, mostly because it quickly overwhelms you and he loves seeing you like that.

Q- Quickie

Billy is down for a quickie in theory. In practice he's more likely to just make you late to wherever you're supposed to be.

R- Risk

Billy likes a healthy level of risk. Like I mentioned he likes having sex at parties, but he'll also sneak into a bar or restaurant bathroom with you. Back row at a movie theater is a fun one.

S- Sloppy

Billy gets sloppy sometimes, maybe if he's drunk. He likes fingering you when you're really wet.

T- Time

Billy likes sex pretty much whenever, but his FAVORITE time is the middle of the night. If you find yourself up late with him you're going to get your cheeks clapped. This is also true if he wakes up in the middle of the night. And don't let there be a thunderstorm, Lord help you.

U- Unfair

Billy likes to tease you, fluster you, overwhelm you, make you say please, make you say exactly what you want before he gives it to you. Jerk.

V- Volume

Billy isn't shy about his sounds, he'll let you and the people next door know how he's feeling.

W- Weakness

When you ride him he falls to pieces, (see, told you we'd come back to it.) particularly when you get up on your feet and squat down on him. Combine that with a hand around his throat and he's done for.

X- Xenial (Is he hospitable?)

Billy wants you to feel safe and comfortable when you're with him. At first, he doesn't know how to go about it besides having stereotypical "girl" stuff around.

He also mistakes looking out for you and "keeping you safe" for being bossy. He'll try to tell you who to hang out with, how much to drink, and where to go because he wants to take care of you. Needless to say this causes problems.

At the end of the day, if you need anything all you have to do is ask.

Y- Yearning

Billy has a high sex drive, but it doesn't have to be penetration every time. He likes all kinds of sexual behavior and will thoroughly enjoy it every time.

Z- Zone

Billy wants above all else to just share space with you. It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, as long as you're safe and happy it's the perfect place for him.

Thanks for reading 😘

[pandorasprongs]

JAMIE TARTT | and i don't even like you that much. wait, i do. f*ck.

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 5.8k

SUMMARY: jamie is actually a board game nerd and starts spending more time with one of the employees of a local shop.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: this idea came to me as someone asked me if i wanted to buy another volume of a board game we had HAHA if you can figure out what game i'm referring to in this story, hmu! alsooo i want to apologize for the length i swear i didn't mean for it to get that long, but still, i hope you all enjoy! title is from the song 'apple cider' by beabadoobee!

It was another slow morning in the store, given that most of your frequent customers were forced to be in school at this time. You ended up continuing one of the readings for your class during your shift. Despite a wave of drowsiness hitting you the moment you opened the book, it was still better having free time to be tired than the afternoon rush when 13-year-old boys came in to get another booster pack of Magic: The Gathering cards.

You were practically setting all these children up for a gambling addiction the way they'd spend 20 pounds trying to get one of those shiny ones in their deck. You never bothered to learn the names really, because that wasn't part of your job description. When it came to those kinds of things, those boys probably knew more than you did.

When it came to board games though, that was your area of expertise. It was partly one of the reasons you applied to work here while you were finishing up your Master's, — and also because of how generous the owner was with your salary, — so you always loved helping people out for their board game nights. You didn't have regulars that would come in often, but here and there, there would be a person you recognize from before asking about another game.

You don't know how much time had passed, but after deciding that your brain could no longer take reading the word cognitive multiple times in a sentence, you end up shutting the book and resting your head on the counter.

Soon after though, you hear the bell at the top of the door ring, causing you to jolt up. You only catch a glimpse of the guy walking towards you before he drops his head, his cap completely blocking his face, and a loose black hoodie covering his frame.

For a second, you get worried that the store was about to get robbed but the man finally stops in front of you and speaks, in a thick Mancunian accent. "Do you have any suggestions for board games? Like for family and stuff,"

You swear you've heard his voice before. Maybe from school? Or a former customer? You decide to shake it off before replying. "Well, this is a board game store, so there's quite a lot to pick from. Do you have any specific theme in mind? How many players?"

"There'll be 3 of us, but I'm not really picky with the game. Not any of those monopoly type shit though, cause I'm sick of never winning."

You chuckle at the revelation and that's what gets the man to look up at you. It definitely wasn't his appearance he was worried about. His chiseled jaw and striking blue eyes almost draw you in, not to mention his hairstyle looks eerily like the one David Beckham had in the 90s, who you had to admit was a crush of yours as a kid. He could even pass as a contestant on one of those dating reality shows.

And then it hits you where you've heard his voice before. This guy was on Lust Conquers All and was immediately voted off. You remember it well because your sister was so pissed at him for joining the show since the football season had just started. Jamie something, but the show never mentioned his last name. You try to hide your realization by turning to the shelf behind you.

"Alright uh, I’d recommend this one." You turn back around and slide it across the counter as Jamie (?) starts looking at the box from all angles.

"Looks cool," is all he says in reply and he looks back at you, presumably for you to explain the game. You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before going on your usual introduction to the game.

"Basically in the game, there are 4 characters you can choose to be your 'heroes.' Your main objective is to get your opponent's health to 0 using the different cards in your set. All the characters have different decks and skills you can use throughout the game, and some of them even have side kicks." You look back up for a second to see his expression and you can tell that you're still holding his interest.

"So for example in the one I gave you, you can battle Sinbad, Medusa, King Arthur, and Alice, who's fucking amazing, by the way."

"Alice? From fucking Wonderland?" You laugh at his surprise before nodding to affirm it. "She's your favorite then?"

"How'd you know?" You ask sarcastically. "But yeah, she's just really versatile and it's just really fun to shrink and grow every turn just to piss off the other players. I'm practically unbeatable using her." You admit though you're not really sure why.

Most of the time when customers come in here for a game, they don't ask questions and just buy the first one you suggest. That’s probably why you answered Jamie's question so earnestly. Cause he's the first one to ever ask you what you liked about the game.

You quickly run through the rest of the rules and mechanics of the game with Jamie chiming in occasionally. You describe the other editions as well and Jamie is tempted to buy the other one — "How is anyone supposed to beat fucking Dracula?" — before he ultimately decides to take home the one you offered.

"If I end up losing using Alice, you owe me a refund." He states as you ring up the game. You playfully roll your eyes as you scan the barcode on the box.

"Oh yeah, since you're the first customer of the day, you get a 7% discount on your purchase," you quickly inform him when you glance at the post-it note on the register screen reminding you about it in bold letters.

Instead of the usual gratefulness or blip of happiness from hearing that news, Jamie instead asks, "Is that really a thing or are you doing it because you know who I am?"

You look at him to check if he's serious and given his blank look, you assume he is. You don't know how to respond to that, so instead you just slowly shake your head.

"Wait, do you not know who I am?" His question itself comes off as arrogant, but given the genuine surprise in your voice, you're not sure how to feel about the guy after he says it.

You decide to answer him honestly. "I do, but given that you walked in here in clothes that make you look like a stalker who's about to rob the place, I didn't think you'd want me to make a big fuss about it, Jamie."

His shoulders seem to relax at your statement and once he goes quiet, he finally pulls out his wallet. You quickly place the game in a paper bag and hand it over to him.

He whispers a quick thanks and turns to leave, before pausing. He turns back to you, "Look, it's not like I'm dressed this way because I'm embarrassed to be in a store like this—"

"I didn't think you were," you answer blankly with a hint of sarcasm. You decide to mess with the guy a little bit because hey, when's the next time a famous footballer comes into your store again? "Why, is there something I should be embarrassed about?"

Jamie quickly shakes his head. "No, fuck no! I think it's cool, really. You know, being surrounded by all these games and cards and knowing so much about them. Especially someone like you,"

You tilt your head in amusement. "What do you mean someone like me?" Jamie's embarrassment only seems to deepen at that.

"Fuck I didn't mean it like that. Honestly, when I came in here, I was expecting some teenage boy to be at the counter. Wait no— I mean, girls can like all this stuff too! I just didn't expect someone attr—," he stops himself and shakes his head. "Shit, wait,"

You watch Jamie scramble for words and you decide to just put an end to his misery. "Look, look, I was just joking around. I don't give that much of a shit about what you said." The football player visibly relaxes and you hold in a laugh at that reaction. "And you're basically right about the kind of people who work here. Most of my co-workers can't work these hours right now 'cause they're off studying for their A-Levels."

"Yeah, well thank you for this," Jamie lifts the bag slightly and you give him a genuine smile.

"No problem. Hope you enjoy the game! And if you ever feel compelled to dress like a shitty robber again, you can come back and tell me what you think." Your sarcasm no longer throws Jamie off who instead, just playfully rolls his eyes and leaves the store.

You go back to your reading for your behavioral science class, putting your interaction with the football player in the back of your mind.

—

The next time you see Jamie is two weeks later, although this time, he comes in right before closing. Technically, you weren't the only one assigned for this shift, but you decided to let your co-worker go home early since he said he had an English exam the next day and still hadn't studied.

So, you were counting down the minutes to 8 pm when you hear someone come inside. Fucking hell. You force a smile, "Hi, welcome! We'll be closing in a few minutes, but please approach me if you need anything so you can have a speedier process."

"Are you really that desperate to get rid of me?" The person moves away from the shelves and turns out to be Jamie Tartt, you learn his last name is. He's wearing another grey hoodie but seems to have decided to ditch his hat. Good, because you weren't sure how much longer you could stare at the ICON written on it and not judge him. "I wanna know, did you think offering to help the customer would get them out of here quicker?"

"I had to try something," you defend yourself, shrugging. You notice Jamie carrying the bag you used to wrap the board game and slightly frown. "Didn't like the game?"

He follows your eyes and is quick to correct you. "I loved it, actually. First time playing a board game that Simon didn't win during the first round." You aren't sure who Simon is, but you laugh nonetheless. "And you're right, Alice is fucking unbeatable."

"I'm glad you liked it, and Alice," you start, but then glance at the time on your phone. "But, is that the only reason you came here?"

"Well no, I was wondering if you wanted to play. That's why I came so late, in case there would be too many people if I came at the usual time."

"Yeah, there was a fuck ton, actually, as you can tell from the fully stocked store." You say, pretending to look around the room. "But sure, if you want. I don't have anything going on tomorrow anyway," Now you're really glad that you didn't procrastinate that paper due tonight.

Jamie smiles as he starts to unbox the set and you grab one of the chairs behind the counter and push it to the other side for the footballer.

Never did you imagine you would spend a Saturday night with a hot football player playing one of your favorite board games, but here you were. In between one of the rounds, the topic of football is brought up and you admit that you don't know all that much about it despite your family being made up of fanatics.

"Everyone has their team they support. My dad loves Arsenal, my mum loves Chelsea, and my sister bounces between West Ham and Crystal Palace. Though, she fucking hates Rupert Mannion, so maybe this is the end of her West Ham support." You answer as you shuffle Jamie's deck.

"Shit, the season must be fun for you guys," Jamie remarks and you snort, though instantly regretting letting that sound out. The football player looks unfazed, so you decide not to apologize for it and answer his question instead.

"Yeah, I basically end up being their messenger till the finals, which ends up becoming World War 3 if their teams are competing," you hand him his deck back and start the round, but your conversation doesn't end there.

"What team would you support then, if you got into football?" He looks hopefully at you.

"Yours, probably." You confirm as you look through your first hand of cards. "I mean, I'm about to destroy one of their players at this game. It's the least I can do."

"We'll see about that," Jamie replies and you roll your eyes playfully, but you smile.

Working at the store meant you were surrounded by board game fans every day, but not even your regulars would come in here after your shift to play. You couldn't help but feel warm at how Jamie matched your enthusiasm about the game, something, you admit, you didn't expect from the player. You knew nothing would probably come from this harmless happy crush of yours, but if he decided to start coming in often to play, you wouldn't be opposed to it.

Your attention turns back to the game once Jamie picks his next move. He smirks at his decision until his expression suddenly shifts. "Wait, if you're not into football, how'd you know who I was the other day?"

You move your piece before looking directly into Jamie's eyes and respond, "I just really love trashy reality shows." Jamie playfully groans at the reminder and you burst into laughter before you continue the game.

True to form, whichever of the two of you uses Alice is the one to win that round. You finally decide on a tie-breaker with your favorite being banned from usage.

"Christ, if this is how you maneuver in a board game, I wonder how good you are at football." You tease, as you glance at his character being at only 4HP.

"I'm fucking amazing, actually. Ask your family, they'll tell you." Jamie moves a few spaces on the board, hoping to escape your Medusa, but instead, he falls into one of your traps.

You corner him and finally reduce his King Arthur's health. "And there you go, 3-2."

It takes Jamie a second to absorb everything before he slouches. "Fucking hell." You laugh before getting up from your chair and helping him keep all the pieces and cards.

"Better luck next time, Tartt."

Jamie, whose competitive side seems to be shining in this game, doesn't let it end there.

Almost every week, he would come into the store at night asking to play. He was definitely getting better, but after making a deal where the loser has to tell an embarrassing story after the round, you realize you know more about him than he probably does about you.

"God Jamie, how are you alive?" You ask as he shares a story from when he first started the league.

"How was I supposed to know doing multiple headers in one match could lead to a bloody concussion?" He retorts, only making your eyes widen even more.

"I'm pretty sure that's common knowledge to about 80% of the population," you say through your laughter.

It's almost 10 when you finish playing, so you grab your jacket and start heading to the door with Jamie. You lock the store up and notice that Jamie's still hanging around you.

It's dark outside, but it seems like his features were even more enhanced by the moonlight. The light hit his eyes just the right way that it made the blue more evident. You notice just then how his hair is neater today, mainly because of his sports headband. The front strands of his hair had fallen out it though, falling on his face in just the right way that it gave you butterflies. Did all footballers look this attractive?

You realize that you may have been starting a bit too long and as you tuck the keys in your jacket pocket, you decide to ask, "Need anything else?"

Jamie opens his mouth to say something, but instead, he just shakes his head. "Nothing actually, just good night," he waves and starts walking in the opposite direction, but you swear you hear him muttering something under his breath.

—

It had been a week since then and you had to start telling yourself to not be so excited when you hear the bell ring. Every time it did, you'd look expectantly at the door expecting to see Jamie again, asking for another or a new volume or even just game tips. Each time, you'd end up disappointed and would have to fake a smile to the customer approaching you.

This time you hear it ring, and you do your best to not look up. If it was Jamie, you knew that your boss George probably would be sounding an alarm. You only learned the Monday after that he was a major AFC Richmond fan when you mentioned that a football player had visited the store multiple times to play board games.

"Do you think we can get him to sign a picture and put it on the wall? Can you ask?" You quickly have to explain how those interactions were the only times you ever spoke to Jamie and had no actual way of contacting him.

As you close your laptop, — one more paragraph and that essay is done! — you look up to find two guys standing in front of you.

"Hi, do you have any board game recommendations?" the one on the right greeted, his accent quickly revealing him to be Welsh.

You don't have a chance to answer because the left one lightly elbows his friend before whispering (though loud enough for you to hear), "He already told us what to get, bruv."

You may not know who this 'he' is, but the guy pulls out his phone and shows you a picture of a board game, the same one you recommended to Jamie. Wishful thinking gets you to believe that they were friends of his and he liked it so much that he told them about it. And maybe about you, too.

You've never been so happy to be right.

You nod your head and as he kept his phone, you started pulling the same edition from the shelf behind you when you hear a screeching sound that almost made you drop the box.

"Oh my God, Colin Hughes, and Isaac McAdoo!" George exclaims and you wonder where you've heard those names before.

The owner joins you at the counter as you place the board game in front of you. Maybe you weren't pretending to be as peppy as you usually do, because George decides to ask, "How are you so calm? Do you know who these guys are? They're Colin Hughes and Isaac McAdoo!"

"I heard you the first time," you turn to the two guys once again, embarrassed on behalf of your boss.

"They're part of the starting team of AFC Richmond!" And that's when it clicks. On one of your all-nighters, you decided to take a break and search up Jamie Tartt just to see what you could find. You ended up at his club's website and saw the rest of the players as well. You didn't pay them much attention given that you were so focused on player number 9, but you saw enough pictures to recognize them, at least.

"So you guys do know Jamie," you think out loud and the two players turn to each other, before sharing looks of realization.

"Oh, you're the girl!" Colin exclaims and you can't help but feel butterflies in your stomach.

"Yeah, I guess so," you try and act as nonchalantly as possible, so neither of them picks up on anything. You turn back to the game and ask, "Is this the one you wanted?"

"Jamie said there were other versions?" Isaac asks and you nod your head to confirm it, which he smiles at. "We want the Sherlock one."

"Okay," you reach for that one on the shelf as George starts offering them discounts on the game.

When he almost offers to give it to them for free along with another set, you stop him by slamming the box on the counter. Why were you the one trying to keep his business alive? "Here it is, hope you enjoy it!"

You ring up their purchase, still trying to hold your boss back from scaring these footballers away before they can pay. You finally bag the whole thing and hand it to them. "Thank you!" you shout as they exit the store.

"Yeah, see you soon!" George says afterward and you look at him in confusion.

"What the fuck was that, George?" He only sighs, most likely the embarrassment only hitting him at that exact moment.

Once he goes back to doing inventory, you can't help but replay what Colin said. Oh, you're the girl! Why was such a simple phrase like that affecting you so much? For all you know, he might've mentioned you being a sore winner, which wouldn't be the first time you've been called that.

But you still hope he said good things about you and maybe even kept better things he thought to himself.

—

"Okay, time's up. Please pass your papers." You write one last word as you get up to give your exam to the proctor, sighing in relief that the semester is finally over.

You had asked for leave for the past few days and didn't have a shift until tomorrow, so you decide to treat yourself to some coffee and pasta for lunch at the campus cafe.

As you settle down at one of the tables, you get a phone call from George. He was more than happy to let you take the time off, so you wonder what emergency had to happen for him to contact you.

As soon as you pick up, George screams your name into the phone. You pull it away from your ear for a second, and respond, "What? What do you need?"

"Look, I'm sorry to disturb you on your day off, but you said that your test ended at 2:30, so I decided to hold off calling you till then. Anyway, someone came in a few days ago asking if we host board game nights."

"And we do," you answer for him as you chew your sandwich.

"Right, and then he said that he was from AFC Richmond." You flinch after imagining how your boss could've reacted at that revelation. "They wanted to hold it a few days ago," George pauses.

"Why didn't you say yes? You could've been game master."

"Yeah well, I wanted to, but they specifically asked for you to go." You put down your sandwich and straighten up. George continues, "I told them you were on leave, but they said they could wait till you were back at work. I said that your test was this morning and I would ask if you'd be willing to end your leave early."

"Okay, sure." You answer, a little faster than you intended. You couldn't believe that the team — and maybe even Jamie personally, — was willing to postpone their game night just so you would be the one to facilitate it.

The surprise was evident in George's voice. Normally, you would reject his idea the moment he mentioned board game nights, but something about this was different for you. "Oh okay, well, I'll send you the address. I'll be bringing the boards there since you don't have a car and I'll meet you there at 4 pm. It's a restaurant, so maybe you can get something to eat before 'cause shit can get crazy at those things and it's best to load up."

You don't know how a board game night could get crazy, but you decide not to comment on it. He sends you the details through text before you end the call and continues eating your sandwich. The place wasn't too far from campus, so you didn't have to rush to get there. But after 10 minutes, you consumed your sandwich and were out the door with your coffee in hand.

While walking, you decided to familiarize yourself more with the players trying to put names to face before you had to interact with all of them at once. You started to get the hang of it, — even looking at team photos and naming them one by one as a test — as you get to the venue at around half past 3.

You arrive at a restaurant called Ola's, and you remember seeing one of the Richmond players post about it. Your dad wanted to have dinner here once, but they were always fully booked so the four of you gave up trying to get a table there.

Because of that, you expected the place to be swamped with customers, but instead find an almost empty restaurant. You notice one guy standing in the middle of it and approach him.

"Hi," He turns around and you recognize him as Sam Obisanya, meaning he must be the owner. You introduce yourself quickly before asking, "Am I at the right place? I'm here to help host a board game tournament."

Sam's eyes widen as he seems to recognize you. "Oh yes, this is the place. Sorry, I didn't expect you to be so early. We already fixed up the tables, but I can also help in setting up the boards if you like."

"Ah no, it's alright. My boss is the one who’s bringing them. I came from my university, so I don't have any of them on me right now." You quickly explain and Sam nods as he leads you to one of the tables to relax, while he grabs some appetizers from the kitchen.

He makes his way back to the table, though he can't seem to stop looking at you. You subconsciously start fixing your hair, wondering if you should've gone to the bathroom before going in here.

He seems to pick up on this and is quick to reassure you, "Oh, I'm sorry for staring. It's just Jamie has mentioned you so many times, so it's nice to finally put a face to the name."

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of the football player. You grab some of the food he offered as you reply as calmly as you can, "Oh yeah, did he tell you how he is nowhere close to beating my number of wins?"

Sam lets out a short chuckle. "No, but I'm not surprised. He did say you're very good at it." You smile and decide to ask why they decided to do a board game night.

It takes a second before Sam replies, "Oh well, Coach always says to do team-building activities every once in a while, and seeing as Jamie has asked almost everyone on the team to play the game at least once, we thought it would be a good idea. I think Isaac and Colin got their own board too and they started bringing it to the clubhouse."

"Shit, I didn't realize that football players loved board games so much," you remarked as you hear the door to the restaurant open.

Both of you look up to see George, who is trying to carry 12 boxes of board game sets. You rush out of your seat to help him out and so does Sam. The sight of the player almost makes your boss drop all of them from his arms, but you quickly scoop four of them and Same takes another four.

"Sam Obisanya," George exhales, once some of the weight is literally lifted off him.

The player simply says, "Hello," and states that he'll start setting up the four boards on the tables near the back.

You snap your fingers to get George out of the trance and the two of your start setting up on the rest of your tables, dropping the character figurines at the bar table and putting the sign-up sheet next to it. Slowly, the restaurant starts filling up with players with George gradually losing his mind at the number of footballers from his favorite team.

You finally get him to leave, but only by promising to convince the team to take a picture with him when he came back to pick up the boards. You're pretty sure he's already making plans to put it on a canvas and hang it on his bed.

You settle yourself behind the bar table to be in charge of the players setting up, each time expecting it to be Jamie standing in front of you. You try and keep your focus on the task at hand every time you hear the boys greet someone new.

Isaac and Colin are the next to write their names and they give you a look that you can't quite decipher. Soon enough, Jamie finally gets here and you straighten up in your seat. He greets some of the players till his eyes land on you.

He approached the bench and once he looked up, he observed out loud. "You're here,”

"Aw, did you want to get rid of me that badly?" You mimic him before explaining that you finished your leave earlier, "just to see you, of course." — with some truth behind that statement. Jamie laughs — albeit, a little awkwardly, — and takes the clipboard. As he signs up, you decide to take the chance to tease him. "Heard you were talking about me to your teammates."

Jamie's eyes widen and he stops writing to shoot glares at the rest of AFC Richmond, not sure who told you. Jamie turns back to you and you laugh. "Don't worry, Tartt. I'm sure you just told them how I'm an absolute god at the game and you're glad I'm not playing tonight." The football player simply rolls his eyes as he joins his teammates.

Once the whole team is complete along with their kit-man Will, you decide to start the tournament. "Okay, hi everyone! Welcome to your board game night." The crowd cheers and you're startled by their enthusiasm. You quickly explain the rules of the night, — though they seem to already know most of it, — and the order of players. It's a draw lots method, so the players will be randomly given a character and an opponent.

Once everyone gets their characters and settles in, you start making rounds in case anyone had any questions. After a while, you start heading back to the bar when someone taps you on the shoulder. You find Jamie already done with his round.

"How'd you win that quickly?" You don't try to hide the surprise in your voice. "Even I take like 20 minutes minimum to win."

"Oh I didn't," Jamie clarifies, and you widen your eyes. "I just couldn't attack Dani. I mean, look at that face." You turn to their table and find Dani smiling at you — "This is fun!" — and waving using his Dracula figurine.

You laugh at his reasoning. "Alright then, guess you're done for the night." You walk back to the bar and Jamie stops on the opposite side of it.

"You hungry? Sam said there's prepped meals in the back and since none of the games are ending soon…" Jamie offers and you obliged, seeing as this might be the only time you might ever get to eat in this restaurant. He grabs two plates from there and settles down next to you. Surprisingly, he managed to grab one of your favorite dishes. You remember mentioning to him that you had tried it at another restaurant in the past and loved it, but you doubt he even remembers it and dubbed it a coincidence.

You decide to keep the topic off board games and instead let him talk about what he's doing since he last saw you. Turns out they had multiple back-to-back matches, so practice was tight and he didn't have time to visit you. He also said the next time he did, it was one of your teenage co-workers manning the counter.

"Oh, Chuck! Yeah, he's pretty shit at board games." You say blankly while you shove another spoonful of food into your mouth.

"I ended up just buying a card game and leaving." Jamie continues and you laugh.

"Sorry, you went all the way there for just that. I go to class on Wednesdays, so I don't have a shift then." The conversation then shifts to your degree and you explain that you plan on becoming a psychologist.

"There is another upside to getting that degree too," Jamie chimes in, and you tilt your head. "You can fuck with someone's head while playing."

"Okay, psychology isn't mind control." Though, you think about it for a second. "But it is pretty close. You’ll be my first victim.” You make your sound more ghostly in that last sentence and Jamie pretends to act terrified and faint.

There is a short silence between the two of you when you realize that most of the rounds are done. You start organizing the next round and once the games start, the other players start going around and rooting for their teammates.

It leaves the area near the bar much more isolated and Jamie lowers his voice. "About that card game I got, it's pretty fun, too."

"Yeah?" You ask as you bring your plate back to the kitchen.

"Yeah. I'd love to take you out and talk about it," you stop in your tracks before turning back to the footballer who adds, “If you want."

You turn around to see Jamie is much closer to you now. It's only then you realize how much taller he was than you, but despite that, you’re not intimidated, especially with him looking so expectantly at you.

It takes a second before your mouth turns into a smile. "I think I'd like that."

Jamie does this small bounce thing on his heels, before trying to tone it down. You only laugh and kiss him on the cheek before heading to the crowd of players. He follows suit and rests his arm on your shoulders.

Some of his teammates notice and start cheering. You look at them confused before deciding to ask Jamie, "Was this all an elaborate scheme to ask me out?"

He shakes his head, "No, 'course not. Was there a deal made after I lost a game to Jan? Possibly," The both of you laugh as you playfully push his head away. You start to accept that this unfairly attractive football player — whom you'll be going on a date soon — can be as much of a nerd as you.

If this is what George meant when he said game nights could get crazy, well, maybe you should’ve given them a chance earlier.

[littlebitsmile]

in flames [C.L.] | Chapter III

Welcome back! This took me a bit longer than usual, but it's still Sunday, so I'm glad you decided to join me (: Hope you all had a nice first week of 2024 - only 55 more days until we see our munchkins driving in circles again - hope this makes the wait a bit shorter.

As always, have fun (:

story: in flames driver: Charles Leclerc [C.L.] trope: #haterstolovers summary: Always working three times as hard as everyone else, Emma does not intend to blow her chance of driving among the best of the best in her very first season in Formula 1. Concentrating on first and foremost getting ahead of her brother, she does not even notice that there are some people even in her own team who think she does not deserve this spot and would rather see her fail. And one driver in particular seems to have a need of always reminding her of that.

────ʚ C H A P T E R III ɞ────

Music booms from the headphones in my ear, my feet float over the treadmill, drops of sweat run down the sides of my face. Next to me, all I can hear is Max's heavy breathing and the occasional quiet "f*ck" as another intensive interval approaches. My calves gave up the ghost ten minutes ago and have been cramping ever since, but my pride won't let me stop.

I actually wanted to squeeze in an extra training session this morning before Max woke up and wanted to hang out and do some off-season stuff, but unfortunately, he was already at the coffee machine when I decided to roll out of bed. He then followed me into the fitness room of his apartment without any comment.

He has been kind enough to let me stay with him, Kelly, and Penelope for a few years now so that I can avoid living with our parents and even worse, letting them decide what happens next with my accommodation situation. As the eldest son, he has probably had his experiences and learned his lessons, always being the one to take the blows, and although he always pretends to give me a hard time, I'm sure that deep down he doesn't want me to go through the same hell he did. The fact that I can never come close to his golden boy in our father's eyes anyway is a different story.

I breathe heavily but try to concentrate on the view. Monaco's harbor landscape is one of the most beautiful I have ever experienced. A little too much lifestyle of the rich and famous for my liking, but Max loved it here right from the start, when we first visited a few years ago. Maybe because he can live right next to the racetrack, waking up every morning and sipping his breakfast coffee with his brain already imagining those cars on the streets right in front of him.

"You're quiet," he presses out between his lips at some point. I don't look at him but concentrate on a small yacht that is about to leave the outer jetties. He gets a kick out of seeing me suffer, I’m sure of it. If I don’t let myself get distracted by the pain in my legs, I can do a few more minutes on this torture device.

"I'm dying," I reply, trying not to fall down at the same time. My diaphragm starts to painfully remind me that I'm not my 26-year-old racing brother, who has been doing this for years and years, never losing sight of his goals, exceeding his limits.

He reduces the speed on his treadmill and starts to jog slowly before continuing: "When are you flying to England? For simulator runs and so on?"

I'm still running at the same pace as before. I try to show February 15 with my hands, holding all of my ten fingers up, then five and the peace sign as a two, but I'm not sure if he immediately understands what I mean.

In the time between the end of the season and the first pre-season tests, the world stands still in my head. I enjoy visiting friends for once and not feeling bad when I see photos in our group chats of everyone getting together and me missing. Max, on the other hand, never leaves his zone - his racing set up in his study glows for hours every day. When he's not training, eating, or sleeping, he lives and breathes motorsport, whether it’s on or off track. Maybe that's why he's such an exceptional talent. Or maybe he is just stupid, for not living his life during his prime time and will fall into a pit of self-despair when he’s 40.

"Excited?" he interrupts my thoughts. I can’t remember what we were talking about, and he notices. “For the UK, I mean? Rain and cloudy weather?”

I nod. My lungs are burning, and I don't know who exactly I'm trying to prove something to. I keep running, my thighs are starting to burn like hell. A few of my fingertips go numb, and my head starts to feel dizzy. There are a few black dots here and there, but it isn’t the first time something like this happens and it won’t be the last.

"What number are you going to start with?" Max asks. I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to give too much away about whether I'll keep my number from Formula 2 or change it. Mostly because I haven’t thought about it and I would love to have a number with a deeper meaning.

"You could take 69."

When he says this, I almost stumble on the treadmill. I hold on left and right and hop onto the side edges as the mechanical noise belt continues to run beneath me. Although everything inside me hurts like hell after the last hour and a half of running, I must laugh out loud. Max grins sheepishly at me. Sometimes I am not sure who of us is the older sibling.

"I think that would be more your thing, don't you?" Out of breath, I put my hands on my hips and lean my upper body against the treadmill display. I try to calm my heartbeat, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.

"I've already got the 1; that's enough for me..."

“You won’t have it forever, though," I interrupt him before he falls into another monologue of self-congratulation. I wiggle my eyebrows and grin mischievously at him. Then I stick my tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes before hitting me on the shoulder with his fist.

"The only one I'm afraid of is you,” he admits openly. I look at him in disbelief. Where has this recognition suddenly come from? I almost choke on the sip of water I’m taking. “But you're in the wrong car anyway, so at least I don't have much to fear this season.”

"I don't need your false assumptions, Max. We've never lied to each other." I look into the distance, back to the harbor. I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't the person I am.

"I'm not lying, I promise. I'm more afraid that this team will take you down with them."

"Aston Martin won't drag me into the abyss. They're giving me a fair chance."

"You would have had a fair chance with me and Red Bull."

"Fair, Max? Really? As number two? How well did that turn out with the last team partners? Lewis and Nico? Lewis and Valtteri? You and pretty much everyone who came after Sebastian? The only off-track friends who were in the same team and still get on well are Carlos and Lando. I don't want that for us." Now I turn to him. A furrow forms between his eyebrows, and he looks down at the ground. He knows I am right, and I think that causes him greater pain than what I just said about us not being able to be proper teammates.

"If you don't perform at Aston Martin, if you even get the chance to show what you are capable of in that sh*tbox of a car, then no other team will take you. There is only one chance to be part of this grid, and I just can’t believe you would rather not drive at all than have me as your team partner?" He is frustrated, I can feel it in his voice. So I try to soften my voice and understand him from his point of view.

"Max, I love you; I really do. You're the coolest brother in the world, and I'm not saying that because I get to live in your cool penthouse in the middle of Monaco.” There is a chuckle, and I know he wants to reassure me that he loves to have me here with him. But before he can speak another word, I continue. “But I've been compared to you my whole life and I will continue to be. This hasn’t been easy, for any of us. But for a change, I can decide for myself whether to confront it or if I just leave my phone off and not read the news, because no one in my own team will compare me to you." The conversation has taken on a serious tone, but I know he understands what I mean.

"I get it. I still would have liked you to be the wing woman. Pretty sure we’d be great. With you keeping all those madmen away from me." He winks. Then he looks straight ahead towards the panoramic window. It's quiet between us for a while.

I think back to his first victory with Red Bull. How he threw himself into the arms of his team afterward, so proud and so full of emotion, as if someone was finally accepting him for who he is, no ifs, ands, or buts. He doesn't talk much about his relationship with Christian Horner, but I'm 90% sure that Christian is in many ways the father figure for Max that our father could never be for him. How he has grown with this team and gone from a really misunderstood driver to a three-time world champion. He wouldn't leave Red Bull until they cut him out from inside with a digger and chainsaw and shipped him to the other side of the world. He lives, breathes, and burns for this sport and for the people in his immediate surroundings, a quality that I greatly admire in him and that not everyone is able to appreciate.

"If you could be someone else or do something else, what would it be?" The question catches him off guard. He is confused for a moment, then looks thoughtful and shakes his head.

"I don't think I want to be – can be - anywhere else. This is where I belong."

I believe him. But suddenly I'm not so sure if my answer would be the same.

As the plane lands in London, I grab my backpack, put on my cap, and hide my face a little better. I'm almost certain that some paparazzi is waiting for me in the arrivals hall because I seem to be the only one from the F1 paddock not traveling by a private jet. I wonder why.

I quickly get through security and baggage claim, so it feels like no more than 30 minutes before I step through the airport doors and out into rainy UK weather. To my right, an elderly gentleman with a sign saying "Emma V." walks towards me and takes my luggage. I thank him, get in the car, and then we make our way to the Aston Martin headquarters. I fall asleep unplanned and only wake up when we arrive.

I am overwhelmed by the polished floors, the glass structures of the building, how everything looks as if this is not the headquarters of a Formula 1 team but of Iron Man and the Avengers.

Mike Krack, the team principal, comes to meet me, shakes my hand, and welcomes me to the hallowed halls. I'm then given a tour, starting with the departments I'm least interested in, such as budget and logistics. I know these people are as important as anyone else, but I am a driver, so the technical departments will be my home base.

"But you're certainly not here to look at the view. You want to go to the simulators, right?" Mike states correctly at some point. I nod vigorously. "Then that's our next destination."

And no matter what I was expecting, it wasn’t that. As I step into a room with a screen as big as the panoramic view back at Max’s apartment, I immediately want to leap into the seat in front of it. I wait for a nod of approval from Mike before I hop into it and feel the leather beneath my hands and notice the smell of something new. I shriek. If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. And before someone can stop me, I’m already turning the machine on and getting ready to drive my first laps in the simulator.

────ʚ [Masterlist] [Chapter II] [Chapter IV] ɞ────

[jazzythursday]

Sixofcrowdaydreams here for the WIP ask! ❤️ What is the difference between your 5+1 best little nose bleed boy and best little nose bleed boy WIPs? Could you tell more about them?

Hi friend! I would love to!

They both started with the same premise, which was me wanting to give Wylan nosebleeds for reasons. 5+1 best little nosebleed boy is just an excuse to give him more nosebleeds, to be honest. I started the planning doc for it after writing about half of best little nosebleed boy, and it’s pretty much just vignettes of Wylan getting nosebleeds throughout life, starting from around 5 years old to (probably) post-ck Wylan and Jesper.

Best little nosebleed boy (I will probably change the name when I post it, but that will always be what I think of it as) on the other hand is a h/c one-shot of Wylan post s2. He gets a bit more than just nose bleed in it (not quite whumpy enough for me to consider it actual whump, but close) because it branched off from the initial idea after I started planning the 5+1 and turned into its own thing. Wylan gets mugged going from his workshop to the club with a package for Kaz, which, of course brings up a lot of unwanted trauma and panic and shame etc.

Something I always notice on rewatches is how resigned Wylan is when he gets mugged in ep1—there’s this look on his face coming back to his workshop of being really pissed off about it too, how annoyed he is both that it happened and that he let it happen, which all makes me think it’s probably happened before and he’s pretty much used to it by then. With the protection of the crows after s2, I got thinking about how he probably isn’t used to it anymore, which is why it’s so much worse when it happens again in the fic when he finally feels safe and isn’t expecting it.

Thanks for playing!

[pollyannawog]

⭐️Polly’s writing commissions ⭐️

Hi there! I decided I’d just go ahead and make a writing comms post because well. I need the money. So if you want something written, especially a fanfic, read below!

About me

I am a 23 year old artist/biologist with a decent amount of literary classes under my belt due to my liberal arts education. You can find samples of my work on my ao3, with my more recent works being the highest quality. I love writing fanfiction, especially of the series I’ve already written for, but what I make for free would naturally be less polished than what I would write on request!

Pricing

My base rate is $1 USD/100 words, with a minimum word count of 1000 ($10 USD). As of now my policy is to pay half of the estimated price up front (more on that later), with the remainder paid upon completion of the work.

Commission rules and guidelines

Things I WILL write:

Angst

Fluff

Ships

Horror

Gore (Including character death and torture)

Mildly suggestive themes

Original fiction

Fanfiction

Things I will NOT write:

Smut

Ships between adult/minor, incest, or anything that doesn’t pass the vibe check (can be discussed if unsure)

Fandoms I am uncomfortable with/simply don’t know enough about*

Anything that promotes hate, bigotry, or otherwise problematic stances on groups of real life people and places

*If you would like me to write for a fandom I am not in, I may be willing to for an additional ‘research fee’, dependent on the story concept and complexity/length of the media of origin. That being said, here is a list of fandoms I am almost certainly willing to write for, and the ones I will NOT write for, period:

Will write:

Pokemon

Digimon**

Kirby

Fire Emblem**

Viva Piñata

Sonic the Hedgehog

MOTHER

Splatoon

Dungeon Meshi

Hunter X Hunter

Fullmetal Alchemist**

JJBA**

The Legend of Zelda**

Kid Icarus

**May not be knowledgeable about specific canons

If a specific fandom isn’t here, still feel free to ask if I’m willing/interested so long as it isn’t on the “will not write” list! That being said…

Will NOT write:

H*rry P*tter

H*talia

Att*ck on T*tan

F*af

S*uth P*rk

V*vziep*p shows

Like before, there may be other fandoms I’m uncomfortable with writing for, and I will let you know up front.

Strengths

While I am willing to write just about anything not on my exclusions list, I am most comfortable and well-versed with stories featuring themes of self-discovery, identity conflict, manipulation and control, speculative biology, and interpersonal conflict. Therefore, I am more likely to accept a commission with these themes as I am more confident I can deliver a satisfying product.

Those reading this page may already enjoy some of the works I have written in the past, including ones that I have stated could hypothetically have sequels at some point in time. If you are interested in paying for said sequel to be made, I may be willing to consider a slight discount on pricing given that I already have ideas (and in some cases early unfinished drafts) for said stories. In other words, if you want me to write a sequel to something, you can guarantee I will through commissioning!

Art

I often incorporate artwork into my fanfics, and for additional payment I can add art to your commission as well. My base price for these pieces depends on number and complexity, so it would be worked out on a case-by-case basis. Additionally, if you have artwork you made/commissioned from others that you want featured in your writing commission, please let me see and it will usually not be a problem or cost extra!

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The timeframe of delivery of the finished project ideally would be ~1 week for works 1-5k in length, 1-2 for 5-15k, 2-3 for 15-30k, and so on. These are estimations, however, and depending on other factors may be completed more or less quickly. Progress reports come in the form of chapter snippets and synopses, in which case after the completion of a chapter I will send you a few paragraphs and a summary of events. You may make requests and adjustments, with the knowledge that time spent revising increases the time before the piece can be completed.

Depending on the length and complexity of the commission, I may close down additional commissions until completion. Additionally, I may close commissions if time is limited. Chapter length and number is up to you, with the acknowledgement that longer chapters mean fewer updates. Chapters must also be a minimum of 1500 words, so commissions under 3000 words will be written as one shots.

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Please DM me here on tumblr to discuss any potential commissions, and payment will be made through PayPal. No writing will be done before initial payment is received, and full refunds will only be available in the first 24 hours after payment is made.

Thank you for reading! I hope to work with you soon!!

~Polly

[yandere-writer-momo]

S/O finds a Baby outside and immediately decides to adopt it, would the Yarem also want it ?

I will die by this but Hanayama is not accepting someone else’s baby. F*ck dem kids. He doesn’t even want a baby unless you really want one.

Katsumi would only get a burst in baby fever. You’re going to have to beat him off with a stick. But he would accept the baby. He’s just going to want more babies. He’s always wanted to be a dad

Retsu would ask if you want to keep it. If you do, he will help you go through the lengthy adoption process so the two of you can be it’s parents. He’s going to be an amazing dad

Baki would accept the baby but he has no idea what to do. You two aren’t even that old? Can’t you just put it on a shelf and come back to get it when you want one?

Jack will try to be a good dad. He also has no idea what he is doing and he is so scared to pick the baby up. It’s so tiny… he tried smiling at it but it’s crying now. What do you do?

Kureha took one look at the baby and said, “that baby is ugly as h*ll. No.” And he would bring it to an adoption center himself. He’s not having ugly kids

[dragon-laughing]

Kay's Guide to Runic Writing in HTTYD

Hi! Welcome to my slapped together guide to reading text in HTTYD.

The main section of legible text in the Book of Dragons and other written materials in the HTTYD movies uses a simplified form of Younger Futhark.

What is Younger Futhark?

Younger Futhark is a simplified and evolved form of Elder Futhark. YF appeared around the 9th century, and corresponded with the Viking Age. I've included the Runes source in a link with the first image if you wanna explore it for yourself.

The top row of runes (red) are specifically the Danish version of YF. The middle and bottom rows are Norwegian and Swedish. I've shown the HTTYD specific runes so you can see the changes made, which is mostly just using the same runes for multiple letters since they needed all 26. All the legible writing in the HTTYD movies are transliterated English, just using the runes instead of our known alphabet. This makes it pretty easy to learn to read and write it with a guide or some good memorization.

The letters M and L use the Swedish/Norwegian version of the runes. Why? I don't know. They also use ür for 5 different letters so I'm not questioning it.

If you see on the HTTYD runes list, there are two written for the letter H. As far as I've been able to see, the only time the second one has been used is for Night Fury in the Book of Dragons. I've assumes this is for stylistic choices, as it is not a H rune in any of the source lists used.

Below, we can see an example of the complex H rune in the name Thunderdrum. Its actually written Thunderdum here, and I'm assuming that since the handwriting is bad, that the character who wrote it spelled it wrong.

While I do believe that was simply spelled wrong, there are other places where a CK is combod as just a K like below in the Timberjack title.

While some of the text in these pages is legible, there are side/background paragraphs that, to my knowledge, are not. These side paragraphs appear to be written in Elder Futhark, or a version thereof, and are not written normally. Some paragraphs are backwards, and flipped runes, repeating 'words', and symbols i cant identify at all.

Take a look at this paragraph on the Whispering death. Using the Elder Futhark list, the first line reads zpl(th)izpdo. The only thing I can fathom this referencing is the word Zippleback but ehhhh. Its also flipped horizontally, as all of those runes are backwards. Granted, I can't actually read Old Norse, but some of the runes on the second line I can't find any reference to.

You should absolutely take all of this with knowing that I am most definitely not an expert in any of this, this is just a special interest I decided to finally write up on after first getting it together four years ago lol.

*If there is any additional information I find or put together, I will update this post with edit date timestamps*

Enjoy and write!

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Creed Reader, in a Haunted Mansion AU, seeing a large, dusty painting hanging above the stairs: Huh, whoever the housekeeper is missed a spot wipes away the dust and grime to reveal a painting of the old feral family, and someone who looks eerily like them

Creed Reader: ... Well, this is creepy grabs an old curtain to throw over it

Creed Reader, wandering the mansion grounds: This is a nice day! The sky is cloudy, it's not too bright, and no one is bothering me!

A ghost, disguised as a human, pops up: And we're here to keep you company!

Creed Reader, staring at them: Who the h*ck are you and why are you dressed like some ancient dead guy?

Creed Reader, exploring a mausoleum: Wooo, this place is terrifying. I swear I can still hear the ghost of that poor kid who died...

Ghosts, face-palming: It's YOU, you sweet idiot!

Creed Reader: It's so strange, you can almost imagine their tortured wailing and fear...

Ghosts, screaming in frustration: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Creed Reader, asleep on a couch:

Ghosts Victor and Logan, spying on them:

Creed Reader: sneezes

Ghosts Victor and Logan: Bless you...

Creed Reader: Thank you, shadows! pauses Um... did I just talk to the wall, or is this place haunted?

Creed Reader with a shovel: humming a song

Random ghost appears, scaring them: HI there, old friend old pal!

Creed Reader: AAaaaHHHhhh! hits them with the shovel, causing them to crumple into a moaning pile on the ground

Creed Reader: ... Um... I apologize. I have a bad scare reflex. Let's just... pick you up, and get someone to check you for a concussion...

They're funny, with how they're oblivious to half of the going-ons of the mansion and its residents, and the ghosts are trying to get Reader to put the pieces together, that they used to be old kid Creed Reader in a past life, and keep either falling short or freaking Reader out. A little comical, but still with its dark streak... After all... how DID old kid Creed Reader die? Amd what happened to their family, and the guests of the mansion?

[viktheviking1]

Octavia’s reaction to Asmodeus

Loona and Via sat crouched by the door, listening to Blitz and Stolas on the otherside. "We're trapped in a h*rny prison!" Blitz shouted from inside.

“Those two would be given a life sentence.” Via smirked at Loona, who was now happily hogging all the popcorn.

Loona munched as she talked, “Absolutely! They are by far the horniest people I know.”

“Well, you’ve clearly never been to Lust.” Ozzie said as he approached from around the corner.

“Oh, the chicken’s back-” Loona started.

“Lord Asmodeus!” Via stood up suddenly, dusting herself off. She started, to curtsey, realized she wasn’t in a long dress, fumbled a bit, and ended up bending slightly at the waist, hoping it would suffice.

"Asmo-wha . . .?" Loona mumbled. She had met him earlier, but hadn't learned his name.

Ozzie smiled at Via's attempt at being proper and ruffled her hair and beanie, "Octavia! I haven't seen you since you still had down! How you been?"

Via took off her hat to adjust her hair, then put it back on, "I, Uh- I'm fine."

Loona stood up and leaned on  Via's shoulder, "You mind catching me up on what's going on here."

"Oh, uh, Loona this is Asmodeus, the embodiment of lust. And Asmodeus, this is Loona, Blitz's . . . roommate?" Via trailed off.

"And receptionist. Good to meet you properly." Loona stuck out her hand, and Via tried not to visibly cringe at the incorrect social conduct.

Ozzie took the handshake without missing a beat, "Charmed! Are you young ladies enjoying the show?"

"Yeah, where'd you guys go earlier?" Loona leaned fully onto Via's head, who pushed her off, only mildly annoyed.

"Oh, we're just on the other side of the building, prepping some things." He smiled knowingly, "Just wanted to say hi to Stolas's pride and joy. Still can't believe how tall you are now. You training with the astro magic . . . Doohickey?"

"Yeah, the grimoire . . . Dad's teaching me some things. . ." Via rubbed her arm nervously.

Asmodeus had been holding a walkie talkie, which had been silent, but now Fizzarolli's voice came through, "Ozzzzzie! Come baaaaack! I'm boooorrreed!"

Asmodeus sighed, and crouched down to eye level to the Via, "Sorry, I've got to go, but listen, I can't imagine how rough your family life is right now. I'm honestly surprised you're cool with all this. And I know you don't really know me, or I you, but if there's ever anything I can do for you, call me, okay?"

Ozzie produced a small business card, and Via took it, looking the artistic details on both sides, which looked like beautiful design at a glance, but upon closer inspection, included d*cks in the intricate designs.

"Ozzzzzzzzziiiiiiieeeee! I can't trash talk Blitz by myself, I need an audience!!! Come laugh at my jooookkkesss!" Fizz's voice whined.

"Alright, I'd better get back, before I upset the Misses." Asmodeus bowed to them both, and turned into a blue flame, floating away.

The two stood there in silence for a moment, before Loona said, " . . . Wow . . . The deep-fried, feathered d*ckhead is a deadly sin."

I imagined Via's relationship with Ozzie to be that of like a great uncle or your dad’s cousin’s husband. Someone you might see at extended family reunions, and maybe hear about in family stories, but you’ve only actually met in person like 4 times, and 2 of those was before you were old enough to remember. But they remember fondly being there when you were 2 and played in a toilet that one time, so you’ve gotta accept their love for you; even if you know more about your local underpaid baristas who you see briefly once or twice a week, than them. That's my headcanon, anyway.

Read more funny antics on The Pompous and the Prick:

[darknesmoth]

The One Thing You Can’t Replace. (John Mulaney)

Warning: Drinking, Swearing, Possibly Drugs, Theft.

A story Lucí heard about herself, this one happened in high school.

We had this star in the solar system whose planet went and orbited our star. His name was Sun and his favorite Mercury (poor him) went and orbited our star. He was a planet, and I was a hybrid. So he was two years behind me.

And Sun was an a**hole and one weekend he and vacationed out of the system, which you should never do, if you are a**hole. And Mercury (poor him) decided to throw a party at the center of the solar system.

Hurray! And everyone around the system heard about it and we all got up individually and thought 'okay, let's go over there and destroy the place.' Lucí walked into this party. Everyone she had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.

Planets and moons were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off. It was totally unsupervised. We were like dogs without horses, we were running wild.

Lucí walked down, Lucí walked down to the basement. They had a pool table in the basement. Venus took a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half. Ceres found out which room was sun's and went upstairs and took a sh*t on his computer. So the party was going great.

As Lucí standing in the basement, and she's holding a red cup; you see in movies. And she's standing there and holding a red cup and she's starting to black out and I guess someone said like something, something police and in a brilliant moment of word association, she yelled: "f*ck Da Police! f*ck Da Police!" And everyone else joined in.

A 100 drunk planets and moons yelling "f*ck Da Police". With the confidence of guys who have already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore, you know that like, "I'll serve my nickel, you come and take me", confidence. But planets and moons. The reason someone had said something, something police was because the police were there. So a planetary police officer walked down the stairs and got to the bottom in the basement and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling; "f*ck Da Police" in his face, but he was almost impressed.

He was like "wow", and then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went "get the patty wagon." And my friend Earth, who is now a father, this man now has a moon, he grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "scatter!" And everyone ran into different directions.

They all ran in different directions. It was like that scene in Ratatouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways. They all ran in different directions. Lucí ran into the laundry room and jumped up on the washing machine and crawled out through a window into the backyard and now she's running through the backyard and there was this big chain link fence and-she thought 'I've never climbed a fence that high before.' And then she woke up at home.

On Monday, Lucí went to school because that's what they did back then. And she's walking into the school building and who does she see but Mercury (poor him). "And he says to her hey, were you at my party on Saturday" and she said no, you know, like a liar. And he said "things got really outta hand. Someone broke the pool table. Someone took a sh*t on my dad's computer." But the worst thing, he says; "the worst thing is that someone stole these old antique photos of my grandmother and my parents are freaking out about it." And Lucí had that thought that only blackout drunks and Steve Urkel can have.

Did I do that? She figured no. She wouldn't have done that. But was never sure, until two years later, relax. She's playing video games with this planet named X that we also lived in the solar system. Two years later, we've escaped by now.

We're playing video games for a couple hours, and then X says to me, "hey, come here I want to show you something" and he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes her into a side room off of his bedroom. Never a good thing to have.

He shows Lucí a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years. And she said "why? Why do you do this?" And X said, because "it's the one thing you can't replace." That's the end of that story, but how f*cked up is that right? That's crazy.

[stylesloveclub]

pt.2 to the tummy r*ding concept bc h said he'd let you suck him off and he always keeps his promises 🫡

me thinks.... the minute you've come down you're dropping to your knees and trailing your hands down to tug at his towel but he stops you before you can and you're 🤨 bc "you said i could daddy" but he's "yeah i did baby, but i didn't say when" 😵‍💫 and you huff and puff a bit until he's reasoning with you all "baby we have to get ready for work yada yada yada" so you both finish getting ready and he makes you french toast and bacon with an asortment of fruits bc "you have to have a balanced meal puppy, and breakfast is the most important one of the day" and he feeds it to you while you sit dutifully in his lap bc "you're such a messy thing" 😵‍💫 and then you get on with your lives finally and do ☹️adult things☹️ until your shift is up at closing time and you wander into harry's office and he's "c'mere pup, m'almost finished" so you prance over to him and find yourself in his lap once again and you're being quiet and good and not distracting him as he types email after email and does whatever succesful business owners do until you remember his promise and you're "h?" and "yeah, puppy?" and you get shy and fiddle with his color and don't meet his eye as you say vaguely "you promised..." and it's his turn to be all 🤨 "what did i promise babe?" and your cheeks flush bc you CANNOT say that out loud so you just pout and shift in his lap and he's "baby i can't make it better if i don't know what's happened" but you just keep your gaze in your lap and before you can stop yourself 😲😲😲 you're tugging at his belt and he's *ohhhhh* and then (he gets a mild sense of deja vu bc isn't this kinda how he figured out you wanted to r*de his tummy???) he's "yeah puppy, i did promise that, didn't i?" 😵‍💫 and you're like "yes, daddy" and without another word you drop to your knees and he's "did you have a long day pup, hmm?" bc even though you're literally about to stuff your mouth w his c*ck he still wants to know how you're doing and feeling and why you're so eager to get this to happen (bc as much as harry can get lost in you, he wants to make sure you're doing this for the right reasons) and you're nodding bc yes actually had to deal w a really obnoxious couple and a couple of backhanded comments from this one old gross creep and you're tired and feel slightly icky but the thought of his prick in your mouth wipes away all your troubles away. and so you tell him as such and he's "oh baby, m'sorry, yeah? you don't deserves that, not my good girl" 😵‍💫 and you just sigh and "s'all right daddy, got you now, right?" and he's "yeah baby, course you do" and with that his belt is unbuckled and his prick, heavy and hot and hard as a rock, is in your mouth and though this started off as more of a "if i don't shove your c*ck down my throat i'll js die" type of feeling in the morning, rn it's more of a "the weight of you on my tongue is all i need rn" so instead of diving head first and choking and slobbering and all that you just lick and suckle and hold him in your mouth. and h, bc he's just the best, knows that this is what you need and he honestly needs to finish his work so he's "good puppy, you're so good, just keep daddy warm in your pretty little mouth while i finish up" 😵‍💫 and that's exactly what you do because you're his obedient little puppy. and when he finally shuts his laptop he's been at it for nearly an hour (not that you really minded, bc he was dotting, as always, and checked up on you frequently and gave you as many breaks as you needed, but your knees are a little achey) and so he's already soooooo close so all it takes for him to come are a couple of squeezes to his balls and a gentle suckle to the tip 😵‍💫. his moans are music to your ears and it makes the soreness in your jaw and knees completely worth it. and then he pulls you back up into his lap and smothers you in kisses until you're grinning so wide it hurts and "gosh puppy, you're the sweetest, how'd i get so lucky, hmm?" 😵‍💫 and you just abt melt bc honestly you're the lucky one

-tummy r*ding anon 😵‍💫

OH MY GOD i have no notes i am just pressing send u guys enjoy

[this-daydream-is-dangerous-13]

Taylor says that she chose “September” for sentimental reasons. She’s always loved the classic tune by Earth, Wind & Fire, and notes that the month of September is especially meaningful to one of her relationships. An added layer of sentiment came from being able to record the song in a Nashville studio, the city Taylor moved at age 14 to pursue country music.

https://www.spin.com/2018/04/taylor-swift-september-28-theory/

Which relationship 🤔

Any links to this post ?https://twitter.com/erodalighthouse/status/1572677399753494528?t=PIJFqUuMr2C-Izp5--HxGw&s=19

Great ask, Anon. I had another ask (was it you?) early in September that touched on this but was saving it for Sept 28th! The 21st of September is as good as any, in light of the LK post, posted last year (as a nod to the Earth, Wind, and Fire original date referenced in the song) and retweeted today:

(thanks to the 7 or 8 of you Anons who sent the link!! Eyes everywhere, I love it!)

I also love the ellipses. They’re often in HS song titles…

So here is the original SPIN article to which you linked, but it only goes back to Taylor’s life in 2015:

Another Anon (thanks Anon!) linked to this article:

Which only considers 2016. To be honest: that was also what I guessed at first too. But then…I remembered some other stuff.

@womanexile covered it earlier today in her Anon reply, but back in 2013, Harry tweeted lyrics from My Old Man, a beloved Joni Mitchell song about her charming English partner Graham Nash. Here’s her post:

The theory is he is calling back to an anniversary date, since the Joni lyrics are a nod to their unmarried partnership. Look at the two of them in their heyday!

Remind you of anyone?

Here’s the 2013 tweet:

1D were touring at the time, so he was tweeting from Australia.

And here are the lyrics:

As womanexile notes, L*rries think Sept 28th is a date of significance for them starting in 2012, but there is another theory.

At the bottom of this post about the timing of the Begin Again MV, I lay out a prospective HS timeline for late September, early October 2012:

Basically:

Sept 28 - H photographed inside a UK airport sending his Mom off on a Kilimanjaro fundraising hike. He is INSIDE the airport (so seemingly travelling too). He then disappears.

Oct 1 - HS is spotted in LOS ANGELES, then home of Blondie. He’s with Ed; he is backstage for Ed’s concert.

Blondie films the Begin Again MV in Paris this day, heading to London for October 4. HS is spotted also in London the morning on October 4th.

So: his presumed arrival date in LA (before vanishing, then resurfacing October 1?): the 28th of September.

Though the official CK breakup doesn’t get announced until later, Blondie sees him for the final time mid-September. So I think Sept. 28th? Is the date TS and HS “locked it down” as described in Cowboy Like Me.

As such - the EWF cover date she sang? Could very well be Haylor and their dating anniversary in 2012.

Thanks for all the asks, besties!

[dogmatik]

Under a readmore, word count 897. Rick got too drunk and freaked poor Morty out.

There's something cold and wet pressed to Ricks forehead. He's only been conscious about a minute, hasn't quite figured out where he is yet, so his eyes remain closed. He takes in his surroundings with his other senses, not sure if he wants anyone who might be in the room with him to know he's awake yet. After some time he determines he's in his own room, can tell by the canvas texture of the cot below him, the smell of booze and alien B.O. He's bundled up in the shitty military surplus blanket he got ages ago, and its dark.

There's breathing to his right, someone sat next to the cot on the floor. he cracks an eye open, the augmentations he keeps tweaking adjusting his sight to the dark immediately (it hurts, human pupils aren't meant to dilate that quickly, he's got a mean case of chronic dry-eye that he hasn't quite figured out how to handle yet.). Morty sits with his arms folded over his knees, head bowed like he's sleeping sitting up. He's breathing to hard to be sleeping though, and there's a string of little sniffles on every other inhale.

"Morty, you seen that morphine? Grandpa's got a killer headache." Rick says. Morty startles, head whipping up immediately at the sound of the old mans voice. Rick regrets talking when he sees the poor kids face, it's red, a little string of snot connects his nose to where it was pressed into his sleeve. "Rick!" he yells, sending a flash of pain bouncing behind Ricks eyes. He throws himself over the old man, the cot creaks like its about to snap. "Jesus M-Morty chill out, I just said I had a fucking, headache." Morty squeezes him, he can feel hot tears soaking into his shirt.

"Ri-ck, I was so scared, and you s-s-said not to tell M-mom but you stopped, you stopped breathing and I couldn't get the-the oxygen to work and I swear I didn't tell but y-yuh-you can't do this to m-me again man I can't-" His voice keeps cracking, chest heaving and words broken up by half-aborted little whines and hiccups. "Morty, Morty calm down, hold on just fucking, t-take a breath alright. Morty just breathe" Rick rubs his back, the kids practically crawled into the cot with him, his little hands clenched so tight in Ricks shirt he's sure the seems are gonna snap. "A-asshole..."

Morty sobs. Rick realizes he doesn't remember a fucking thing from the last 36 hours, which is not ideal when you're a manic super-genius. From the sounds of it he gave himself alcohol poisoning again, considering the barely contained nausea and the way his head pulses with pain along to his heartbeat. It's been a while since he drank enough to make himself sick, it takes a lot. Last time must have been since before he came back. That explains why Morty's so fuckin broken up about it, it's not a pretty sight and the little guys never seen him that bad before.

"Mort, buddy it's okay, just a little alcohol poisoning. Little bit of zerock powder and I'll be good as new." "W-why'd you drink so much?" Morty asks, finally pulling his face away from Rick's chest. He's still breathing hard, but his eyes have dried. He looks genuinely confused, a little crease forming between his eyebrows. Rick gets the inexplicable urge to rub it away, kids too young for wrinkles. God, he's gonna go grey by 30, just like Rick. The thought brings a new wave of nausea crashing over Rick's head, he has to lean off the side of the cot so he doesn't fuckin drown in it. There's a big plastic bowl there, he almost gets all of it in. All that comes out is clear liquid and bright yellow bile, his stomach cramps sharp and he almost knocks Morty clean over with how violently he flinches.

"Rick, why did you drink so much. Did, did something bad h-happen?" Morty asks again, incessant. "'Something bad' what are you talking about?" Morty looks at his hands, he's sitting on his folded up legs right on the edge of the shitty cot, Rick just realized the boys still in the same clothes he last remembers him in. There's blood down the front, it doesn't look like it came from Morty. "Dr. Wong says, uhm. She said that people, they do a lot of like drugs and stuff when they feel bad. Or like, to escape or whatever. Is that what you were doing? R-running away from something?" What the fuck is that lady talking to this thirteen year old about? He should find out where she lives. Encourage some fucking boundaries.

"Jesus wept Morty, Can't a man get blow-out black-out drunk w-without his grandson fucking, psychoanalyzing him. No, I do it cause it's fun Morty. And I don't need to, ugh, to run from anything, I deal with my pr-problems just fine." Morty looks skeptical, little bastard. "Get, get offa my bed, fucking. Change your shirt, look like a vampire victim." Rick shoves at the boy, knocking him off the cot onto the floor. "Ow! Asshole! I-I'm trying to, trying to help you dick!" Morty yells. "Morty I swear to god if you keep being a loud piece of shit I'm gonna down your sisters hamster and blame you for it."

[fandomwe1rd0]

Anyways enjoy this stories I made about Rick comforting Morty after he had a nightmare

Can't remember if I posted these before, I thought I did but couldn't find them when I searched for it soooo here ya go

Rick finally went to his room and fell on his bed; he fell asleep and a few hours later he heard a knock. He groaned, who could it be at this hour? It was midnight. He opened the door and saw Morty covered in sweat with eye bags, his eyes were bloodshot like he had just been crying, and Morty was clutching a pillow to his chest "H-hey Rick..." Morty managed to get out, Rick put his hands on Morty's shoulders and got down to his level "Jesus Christ Morty! What the hell happ*burp*ened?" Morty squeaked "I had a n-nightmare..." One part of Rick's unibrow was raised "A nightmare? You just had a fucking nightmare? Seriously are you that much of a pussy?" Morty's voice cracked "Can I please just crash with you tonight...?" Rick groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose "Morty, you're fucking 14. You're too old to be doing this shit. You can't go to your parents? They are the ones that are sup*burp*posed to deal with this shit." Morty said "Well...I would but Space Beth came over so..." Rick sighed "Fine...but you're sleeping on the floor."

Morty sighed "I-if you're going to be an asshole about it-" Rick shrugged "Just put your pillow on the floor before I change my mind." Morty nodded, went into Rick's room, and placed his pillow on the floor, "Fucking pussy..." Rick grumbled.

Morty fell asleep quickly. Rick glanced over and sighed, picking up Morty, and hoisting him over his shoulder, careful not to wake him, he put Morty on the bed, tucking him in. He got a chair, took a swig of his flask, and made sure he didn't have any nightmares.

When morning came Rick injected serum into himself to make him have the effects of a full night's sleep. He whipped it up after that whole situation with Night Summer, it was better to fall asleep normally since the serum did have some negative side effects, but whatever. He quickly changed his clothes and started shaking Morty lightly "Morty! Ugh, come on! Wake up! It's time for school!" Morty groaned "Rick you're probably just going to drag me out of school anyway, so what's the point?" Rick's unibrow furrowed "The point is, you have to at least get on the bus or your parents will bit*burp*ch at me. Now hurry up and get ready!" Rick threw a yellow shirt and blue pants at Morty and walked out.

Here's another:

Rick groaned as he flipped through the channels, how could they have literally every channel in the universe, and still have nothing interesting to watch? The dim light cast on his face as he sighed, all of a sudden he heard a noise and quickly whipped his head, getting his ray-gun ready before peeking into the kitchen. It was just Morty, he was trying to get a cup but dropped something.

Rick went over to him "You're up late Morty. It's a school night, you know your parents would blame me if you stayed up all night, why the fu*burp*ck are you up?" Morty gulped, he was covered in sweat. "I-I was getting a drink, I-I'm sorry if I woke you..." Rick tilted his head "You ok Morty?" Morty nodded "I...I had a nightmare..." Rick sighed "Seriously? A nightmare? You're 14. Fucking pussy." Morty looked down and then his eyebrows furrowed "Y-you know what I'm not taking this! Y-y-y-you're a cold unfeeling asshole, Rick!" Morty stormed off in his room.

Rick shrugged and went back to the couch. After a while Morty awkwardly stood in front of it, his eyes were bloodshot like he had just been crying, he definitely had another nightmare, after a while, Morty asked "C-can I...?" Rick shrugged and said "Whatever." Morty sat next to Rick and after a few seconds of channel hopping, Rick spared Morty a glance and extended his arm out, Morty put his head on Rick's shoulder, and Rick put his arm around Morty, using his other arm to take a sip of his flask. Eventually, Rick just went to a random channel and decided to watch that. He looked over to Morty and saw that he was already asleep. Rick turned off the tv, and fell asleep too.