#🍁something wicked this way comes🍂 au

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Something Wicked This Way Comes AU Skits:

A government agent: Would you like to join our team of highly trained and special indivi-

Reader: F*ck off

Government agent: I really think you'd like this program of ours-

Reader: I said f*ck off

Government agent: But you haven't even heard of what you'd get-

Reader: I'd get brainwashed and set on your personal enemies like a dog, believe me, we know the shtick, now f*ck off! I'm drinking my beer!

Reader: is nursing on a root beer

Government agent: knocks the drink out of Reader's hands

Reader: ...

Reader: You little f*ckin' @&>/ !!!! tackles them, biting and scratching, then kicks them out of the soda shop

Reader, answering why they haven't sought out their old "pals", Wolverine and Sabretooth: Well, would YOU try to seek out someone who you haven't had a decent conversation with since the early 1900s who then stabbed you in the guts after his brain got scrambled, or seek out the guy who got so fried in the noggin he tossed ya off a freakin' cliff after beating you to a bloody pulp? No? Well, that's what I thought!

The X-Teens: What the h*ll??!!😨😰

The Brotherhood: That's b*dass!!!🤩😍

The adults: Who did you say you were, again, Mx. Reader? 🧐🤨

Wolverine: I tore their guts out? Poor kid... Hmmm... something still isn't adding up...

Sabretooth: Eh, I toss a lot of people off a cliffs... and turn a lot of people into bloody pulp. Good on them for surviving! Except they seem too familiar to be just a random hit...

Reader: sweating bullets Um... I'm... leaving, right now! runs off, disappearing into the streets

Everyone: ... Okay, we need them as our new member-

Reader, seeing the X-Teens broke into their house and took something: Oh you little...

Reader: JAMES LOGAN CREED HOWLETT!!! GET YOUR F*CKIN *SS DOWN HERE TO FIX YOUR BRATS' MESS, OR SO HELP ME I WILL DRAG YOU BACK HERE BY YOUR F*CKIN' EAR!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!

Logan: Who the h*ll is screaming at 1:00am in the morning?!

Logan: spots his kids sneaking into the mansion carrying an old and stained box

Logan: Kids. What. Did. You. Do.

The X-Teens: ... Um... we, um... maybestolesomethingfromReader!! But we had to! They're not telling us something, and we think it's important!

Logan: Well, it looks like you're all returning it, unless you want to be in the Danger Room for the next five hours 😡

The X-Teens: Please, just a peek! 🥺

Logan: ... Ugh, fine, just one look. Then we're gettin' in the car and returning it, you hear me?

The X-Teens and Logan, looking into the box: 😶

The box: full of video tapes, recorders, old papers and journals, and different rocks and fossils and old heirloom jewelry

Logan: Okay, fine, you take one thing, something that would be hard to miss-

Kitty: Done! grabbed an old recorder

Logan: I'll hold onto that, since you kids got us into this mess

Later-

Logan, listening to one of the many recordings in shock: It's been nearly two centuries, but I still miss James and Victor, even if they were both quite brash at times... Boys, right? ... Ha... I think Jimmy is called "Logan" nowadays... I think I should leave him be; he seems happy with his friends, he doesn't need me anymore... I suppose Victor doesn't need me, either... I guess it's hard to miss someone that they can't remember... well, I think that perhaps this summer I'll be able to finally pass-

Logan: pauses the old recording

Logan: ... I need to find them, NOW-

[honey-minded-hivemind]

If hero reader is an adult, they act like the only reasonable adult in the teens life:

Reader: Pause! Anyone who is not legally an adult and is currently fighting me raise your hand.

Everyone: *doesn't raise their hand*

Reader: Okay, that's it! Fight canceled! All of you go home! CHARLES GET @%$#&!$ DOWN HERE I NEED TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU!

Contrary wise, if reader is a kid, all the adults are try to parent them but reader is adamant they are NOT on the adoption market.

Storm: What are doing here? It is 11 o'clock at night. Growing children need their sleep!

Hank: And it is a school night. I know you have a test tomorrow, Evan mentioned it. How are you supposed to pass when you'll be falling asleep at your desk?

Reader, running on redbull and spite: Maybe I would be in bed if you guys WOULD STOP ATTACKING LADY LIBERITY!

Adult hero Reader is the one braincell of the bunch, basically not fighting the teens and having heated, long rants at Charles and Magneto for letting children fight them! Because yeah, okay, sure, they wouldn't hurt kids, but who's to say some other random person wouldn't? Seriously? Who is parenting these kids? You know what? Reader will parent them! And it starts by telling these poor misguided toddlers in costumes that sleep is important, and so is not conquering the world-

If Reader is a kid/teen, they're adamant that they are NOT an adoption case! No, nO, they are NOT up for adoption! They have a lovely, small, cramped home of their own! They do not need parenting from a grouchy dagger man or a shape-shifting chameleon lady or a blue teddy bear! Reader is grumbling as they sit in class, upset that their nemesis is in there as well, ready to try and get them to join their villainous team and offering to help get them some tutors-

Either way, Reader is upset with the adults and wondering how the teens bought into their weird ideology/cult mindset, and they want to try and stay off their radar...

[honey-minded-hivemind]

You know how sometimes in school a teacher will compare or maybe even treat someone different because of their siblings? Like if one kid was a massive trouble maker one year and then a few years down the line their sister/brother/sibling joins that teacher's class and the teacher instantly stereotypes them?

Yea I feel like Something Wicked This Way Comes Reader (both versions) is dealing with that effect a lot. It's not too bad in the normal version because since most people don't know that they're ll siblings it just feels like a feral stereotype in a way. But it's so bad in the Dark au. It's worse because Reader has no idea why they're being treated a specific way.

Their claws come out and a group of humans scatters because they've dealt with claws like those before and they do not want to deal with it today.

Reader is so confused and tired it's not even funny.

But unfortunately for them they radiate strong "exhausted younger sibling" energy that attracts their big brothers like sharks. Who did this to their baby sibling??? Why are they so annoyed? It's supposed to be their job to annoy their youngest!

Reader is gonna end up smothered in cuddles and they're really not sure if they should enjoy it...or if they want to.

I know what you mean.

In the Dark Edition, Reader feels exhausted, they're tired, and they haven't even reached Wednesday... People run whenever they see their claws, or flinch when they see their fangs, and it takes everything in Reader not to get upset, deflating at how hard it is to survive when everyone is terrified of everything, especially them, and mutants in general...

Wolverine amd Sabretooth find out Reader is back and alive, and they're trying to hug them (and kidnap them, because who left their baby sibling on their own?!), yet they keep meeting thin air as their sibling runs from them. It takes a while for it to dawn on them that Reader doesn't remember them. They don't know their own name, they don't know who they are, they don't know those two as their brothers, amd they have no clue how to survive in such a changed world. Oh... They're getting them in a nest, mark their words. Their little sibling won't need to worry for much longer. They'll bring their memories back, they'll join them, amd then they can be united once more...

Reader takes one look at those two, and decides they're avoiding them at all costs. Those two are large, dangerous, and have too many tricks and schemes that would eventually catch Reader. So it's best not to risk it at all. But hiding from two of the beat trackers and hunters isn't an easy task... nor is trying to make it on your own without help or knowing who you are...

(Good ask, @vivid-bun! I like it! And yes, those two are trying to scoop their sibling up into a hug amd cuddle them, and will take any bites or kicks Reader gives them, just as long as they can hug them and feel and hear their heartbeat...)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Imagine an AU where everyone is a villain, but Reader is the sole hero/anti-hero...

Maybe Reader uses to know the X-Men or Brotherhood or Acolytes, but they're on their own now, with powers that they're learning how to control, and trying to stop the other mutants from taking over the world, or if they already did, Reader defies them and tries to help those in need. (Like Spider-man or the Spider people).

The mutants respect Reader, to a degree. Someone who uses their powers for good is surely someone worth adding to their ranks (family, they're all one big, dark family). Reader doesn't give into temptation, no matter how enticing it is. And they don't try to kill them when they fight, simply aiming to distract them amd escape or disappearing without a trace.

They like them, quite a bit. (Especially if they used to know Reader).

Of course... they could do so much better with them, rather than against them.

Think of the possibilities...

But they WILL have them, one way or another, and it's only matter of time before Reader is truly theirs...

(Ask questions if you want about this AU, okay? What do you think, @sugar-soda and @danni1323 and @c0ld0utside?) (Let's call this au... Something Wicked This Way Comes AU...)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Dark or Reverse Something Wicked This Way Comes AU, where Reader ended up in stasis some time in the past, the X-Men/Brotherhood/Acolytes took over the world, and Reader doesn't remember their siblings, but their siblings sure remember them-

Reader would wake up, wondering what happened, who they were, why their body had such strange scars... Except the world, once they escape from where they were held, is so... loud. Big. Bright. It's almost too much.

Struggling to adapt amd make sense of the strange new laws and fashions and technology of the 2000s, Reader tries to hide their mutations and abilities once they realize the mutants are the ones controlling everything and that humans either accept it or disappear...

It doesn't help that Reader tries to help when they can... or that there are teens trailing them, inspecting areas where they've been... or that it seems something... or someone... is trying to catch them...

[honey-minded-hivemind]

I can imagine that for Something Wicked This Way Comes, Reader is hiding out in their neighborhood doing good deeds and scaring away or silencing bad people who wander into their territory, but with the fact that Logan amd the X-Teens eventually get a hand on one of their recordings, revealing that Reader knows about Logan's past, well...

It starts to get a bit more creepy/dark.

Because now the teens and Logan and the X-Men (and maybe the Brotherhood/Acolytes, if they're all working together)are trying to get their hands back on the box that Reader has, that contains things that no one alive should know about or remember, save for a select few... And it raises the question, how does Reader know about all of this? How old are they, exactly? Are they someone they uses to know?

This starts more attempts to get Reader to join them, be it by capturing them, winning them over, or trying to appeal to Reader's emotions...

The teens want to have a new friend/sibling/parent who is cool and fun and can teach them all sorts of things, and their choice is Reader. They want to impress them, but they're also aware Reader wants to remain away from their villainous plots and ideologies... Except they want to win then over, not push them away. Thus leads to increasing attempts, heists, destruction, and chaos, all to catch the attention of their favorite hero/anti-hero!

The adults are concerned if Reader could be a potential threat, but looking at them, there just isn't much to fear. They're tired, sleep-deprived, and run on coffee and spite. If they're lucky, Reader won't catch onto their grand scheme until it's too late to stop them. If not... well, that's what they have plans B and C for... They see potential in Reader, and wouod rather have them as an ally or friend, rather than an enemy, but Reader is defiant of them and keeps defending humans from them... Hmmm... They'll have to fix that, won't they?

Logan wants to get his hands on that box. It holds they key to everything, doesn't it? His past, who he used to be, his family- He could know, for the first time in decades, what happened. And it's back in the hands of Reader, someone so familiar yet distant, who couldn't possibly know about these things... Yet they do. And he has to know what they know.

Victor, when he gets word of this, goes to investigate... Amd is quite pleases to find that he starts to remember a little bit more each time he smells Reader's scent or hears their voice, or when he listens to the recording that his brother got his hands on. This only proves what he's been saying to his brother! This PROVES they are siblings, and that there IS something they're missing. If only his little runt would just accept that! All they need to do is get the rest if the evidence and answers from Reader, right? How hard can it be...

Reader is now having to show their true abilities and limits, surpising the growing platonic yanderes with just how... stubborn, they are. How resilient. That they just keep going, and persisting, and defying them, and still doesn't crumble under the pressure of what's at stake. It's... fascinating~... And another reason why Reader should join them, not resist them...

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Something Wicked This Way Comes AU has Reader as the centuries old youngest sibling to Wolverine and Sabretooth, who appears to be between the ages of 15 to 20, and is the sole hero/anti-hero who is trying to stop their enemies from taking over the world (if they haven't already).

Reader struggles to adapt at times to the modern world, struggling with computer technology and flip phones, but is somehow stuck in a body that doesn't show their true age. Being in the body of a teen/young adult isn't always great, due to struggling to keep a civilian identity and trying to survive in a world where you need an identity and family members and can't hide as easily due to technology. They've misses their brothers from time to time, of course they did! But well... they had an argument, Reader ended up leaving, and when they saw them again, their brothers had somehow forgotten everything... So what reason did Reader have to stay?

They've done their best to help the people around them, finding lost pets and kids and hunting down criminals, and trying to help people in need who need a helping hand, be it with groceries or an apartment or safety... Reader is there to help the old grandma down the street who needs company, the stray cats who need food and shelter, the kids who need a safe neighborhood to play in....

Of course, all of this somehow ends up with Reader having to get involved in some new villains getting involved, who end up fighting in Reader's territory, which just won't do...

Except when Reader breaks up the fight, chasing down the brats who thought entering their home was a good idea...

They discover they're teens (toddlers? kids? tweens? young adults? Reader is bad at guessing ages). And that just won't do. Yet instead of going back to their lives and learning their lesson, they instead try to get Reader to join them, thinking they're a teen/young adult who could use a firm group (family), and all of them want to impress the new potential recruit...

Reader is spending their evenings up and about trying to keep crime down and keep away the child villains, while spending their days and afternoons sleeping or doing school work and online work to earn a living wage... They're tired, their back hurts from time to time with all the strain they put on it, and no matter how much root beer or ginger ale they swallow, it doesn't give them enough sugar or energy to put up with the absurd rivalries, pettiness, and drama that comes from teenage villains who hold grudges and are trying to impress someone... Those someone's are anyone's guess...

Until one day the actual villains show up, and Reader gets to see that their brothers and their herd of friends are apparently raising the teenage troupe of troubled troublemakers, and are the reason the world is shifting so much towards something big... Because they're the masterminds all along, and they plan to take control of the world, putting mutants in charge, and setting themselves up as the rulers of it, with free reign to do what they consider to be right or correct for mutants...

And all Reader can do is fend them off and try to stop their evil plots, while trying to hide their relation to the villains' resident feral mutants...

(Reader is a bit old school in their tastes, preferring cream soda and root beer and ginger ale, and who enjoys home-cooked meals and fresh meat, and plays and theater.. They also like to collect coins and stones and minerals from different areas, as well as fossilized teeth...)

(Ask questions if you want! What do you think, @sugar-soda and @vivid-bun and @danni1323 and @c0ld0utside?)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

You know what? Reader should dress the same in the normal au of Something Wicked this Way Comes au too!

Cause they r a hero, which is dangerous. While their loved ones don't love them back anymore, Reader doesn't want anyone to get hurt by connecting with them. But they don't have all the fancy materials to make a suit, so they work with what they got.

Which would be easier if these guys would stop robbing banks while talking their ear off about how Reader should join them! GET BACK HERE! GO TO NAUGHTY MUTANT JAIL!

HaHA, naughty mutant jail! HA! (I love it)

Reader is running around, tired and only fueled by coffee, bitterness, and their inability to take a break when they really need one-

These two idIoT brothers of their's need to stop robbing people, murdering Rogue government agents, and stop teaching their students this cr*p! What is Reader going to have to do?! Put them in time out?!

The moment the teens hear that comment, they're laughing and wanting to see (Fox/Wolf/Hyena/Bear) put Logan or Victor in an actual time out corner, because oooh man that wouod be so funny-!

And those two are wondering why they feel a slight buzz at the back of their skull when they smell Reader's scent, or why they want to pick pick up like a baby, or why they can't stop following them everywhere-

Yeah, um... Reader is kinda... scr*wed...

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Im thinking for Reverse Something wicked! Reader wears googles, hood, and a big ol' scarf, cause they are trying to keep a low profile, its sensible in a fight, and keeps their face warm. Very strong "Nomad from Nowhere" vibes.

This drives the yans crazy, cause while yes, this mystery mutant looks absolutely adorable with their big, sweet eyes (which look very familar) and too big scarf, they would very much like to see the rest of their face please.

Reader just comes in, helps, then dips. While the yans are trying to grab them and get them a real meal.

Reader wears a hoodie, a scarf to cover their face, and every now and again has some goggles or glasses they wear. They're quick, they tend to stick to dark shadows, and they seem to have a mutation that is feral-like. The teens keep trying to catch them, but have no luck.

How does on catch someone who doesn't want to be caught, and happens to be able to sense half the time? They've even joked that maybe this mystery mutant knows Wolverine or Sabretooth... Except...

What if they actually did?

That leads to the teens getting those two involved, saying this person coul use some help, they're like them, they need to eat and those two might seem safer or be more trusted by this kid-

Well... they oblige, wanting to be done with this mess.

They didn't expect to scent someone they hadn't seen in years, decades, even...

Can it be...?

Is that...

Reader?

[honey-minded-hivemind]

omg I know the dark version of the something wicked comes au should probably be angst, but I can’t stop thinking of crack lmao

what if reader was like kinda petty to the yans when they still remembered them, and would give them the cold shoulder. So now the yans think that reader is just taking it farther then before-

Ohoho!

The platonic yans wouod end up in comical situations, trying so hard to get Reader to pay attention to them, or to visit them, or simply talk to them, and each time it goes wrong!

It's like they don't even remember them! Or who they are! Or what they are!

When they finally catch Reader, demanding their attention and begging them to listen to them, to join them, to be their sibling again-

Reader looks so scared, they're shaking, and asking who the h*ll is Reader and who the f*ck are they?

...

This... is not good. Not good at ALL.

( @crowwithguns We get crack at first, then dark stuff in this ask! But, yeah, the Dark Something Wicked This Way Comes AU is angsty, dark, and a little creepy, with some forced cuddles and care in the future!)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Since Reader is Logan and Victor's sibling, I imagine their mutation is something similar to theirs. Now if the two figure this out and get the idea through their thick skull? Remains to be seen.

Hahaha! Yep! Sorry, but it's a 50/50 chance they get it or they don't.

Oh, look, this new mutant is really old, it turns out, and looks not a day over... what is it, 15? 20? 100? And they have claws for nails and hidden claws in their feet! What a coincidence! Oh, and they have heightened senses? Well, that just seems odd now, huh-

If it does click, those two are finding Reader's box, no matter what. They want to piece their memories back together, and they want to hear it from someone who was there (and who loved them and played with them and was their little sibling-). Of course, once it's clear to everyone Reader IS their sibling without a doubt, that leaves only one option:

Capture them and bring them into the fold.

It's what any siblings or family would do for each other, now, isn't it? They're trying to right their wrongs...

So please, don't fight them over it.

Otherwise they'll have to use more... force... than they want...

(This is getting darker, isn't it? Shall we go darker still, @sugar-soda ?)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Guys I aLmoSt forgot! 🍁Something Wicked This Way Comes🍂 AU (Dark Edition)!!!! If you have questions or asks for that, I'm up for it! (P.S. Yes, I know, I've a LOT of AUs! But they're fun to read, right?)

Asking @sugar-soda @thewickedweiner @weebwholovesuchihasasuke @vivid-bun

[honey-minded-hivemind]

I read back through the something wicked au, I was thinking of the wrong one 🥲, but it’s still very interesting, could you give me a rundown tho? No problem if not

Something Wicked This Way Comes AU l, depending on which version it is, has Reader as the only hero, while everyone else are villains. (And are Wolverine and Sabretooth's younger sibling). What changes is in the regular au, Reader is the one who remembers them, and they slowly remember Reader; in the dark/reverse au, it's Reader who lost their memories amd doesn't remember them.

Did that help, @crowwithguns? I hope it did! Thank you for revisiting!