#[ look at this disaster i'm cackling ]

[orion-archives]

I'm cackling like a hyena with this frame.

Look at Orion, smiling, being so precious, about to get PUNCHED out of existence by his bro.

Seconds before disaster.

[rinriniisthekatch]

This was not in Dick's plans today. Seriously, it was his one day off and all he wanted to do was bug the shit out of Jay and relax in the comfort of his own home before heading to the manor and practically beg for Alf's good food.

All Dick got was being kidnapped with another person and Riddler's goons. No blindfolds, hands cuffed and tied with a rope. Wow, they really didn't want them to escape today. It's time to just wait for his brothers... maybe B, too.

"So, is Fashion Disaster #3 gonna do something with us, or are we just sitting here to look like two pretty birds?" Dick didn't recognize the voice, but he did snort.

"Quiet." One of the goons demanded as he hit the other guy in the face with the gun.

"You know, you told me to talk once, and now you're telling me to shut up? How does that work? Cause I can totally make an echo." Oh god, this civilian is taunting the goons. Sir, we are still tied, and they can kill us.

Is he... he is! He's humming, Baby Shark! OK Dick, don't laugh. Don't laugh. Hold it in. You can do it. Fuck. No, he can't. Dick took a deep breath as he attempted to regulate his breathing to not laugh at all. Cause, oh my god, this guy is making him want to laugh!

"So... how's it going? Besides being tied up like a domninatrix waiting for us to loosen up." Dick looked at the other guy. He was cute and fucking hilarious. Warm ice blue eyes and shaggy crow black hair.

"Oh, you know hanging out. Trying not to die from laughter. Could be worse." Dick grinned.

"See! That's what I'm saying...! People need to loosen up around here. How do you feel like breaking out?" The smirk on the other man's face screamed menace.

This is the type of person who Dick watches out for while being a cop. The other guy gave him a look. He had said that aloud. Whelp. Too late now.

"Bro. My record is clean-ish. But like sometimes my family is all kind of crazies. Mad scientists types. Genetics, y'know?" Dick still didn't know this man's name.

Dick cackled, "You're a scientist?"

The other man smiled widely, "Engineer for WE actually." Dick noticed the man's hands were free now. The cuffs and rope weren't cut, but he somehow got out anyway.

"Oh, really? How long have you been working at WE?"

"Hey! I said, be quiet! Now, shut up and stop talking!"

The smaller man huffed, proceeded to grab the goon by the gun, flip him forward, and then kicked him in the face, knocking him out.

Dick blinked, "How..? Wha-"

"Like I asked, do you wanna break out? I'll forgive you for being a cop and a date?"

Yeah... "You know what, why not?"

[crookedteethed]

ᡣ𐭩 An Inconvenient Flat (or: How Not to Handle Your Best Friend's Hot Dad). • ° 　 .　 *　: r. cameron

synopsis -- Rule #1 of having car trouble: Don't call your best friend's father for help when you've been secretly sleeping with him since her 21st birthday.

warnings -- 18+-mdni, smut with plot (unprotected piv), public sex, squirting, age gap relationship, sneaking around, angst, dilf!rafe, daddy issues (the regular kind AND the fun kind), cursing

bfd masterlist | main masterlist(s) | taglist | wc: 1.7k

The orange glow of your hazard lights bounced off the trees lining the empty road, creating an eerie disco effect that matched your current mood: somewhere between panic and hysteria.

Of course this would happen tonight, when you were already emotionally drained from watching Rafe flirt with some yacht club princess at your job at the Country Club all evening.

You'd been avoiding him since the disaster at his summer barbecue last month. Watching him with that woman – some elegant socialite who actually belonged in his world – had been the wake-up call you needed.

The way she'd laughed at his jokes, her manicured hand resting perfectly on his arm, looking every bit the sophisticated partner he deserved.

Not some twenty-three-year-old who still had pizza rolls for dinner and borrowed formal dresses from his daughter. When his hand settled on her lower back, so natural and public, something in you finally snapped.

You'd "accidentally" bumped into her by the grill, making sure your plate of barbecue sauce-drenched ribs landed exactly where it would do the most damage – all over her pristine Prada sandals. Her horrified gasp had been worth it, even if it was childish.

Your fingers hovered over your phone contacts. Mom would be asleep by now, and your father wasn't even worth considering as an option. With a sigh, you called the one person you could always count on.

"Come on, Bella, please?" you begged into your phone. "It's creepy out here!"

"I'm sorry!" Maribella's voice competed with thumping music in the background. "We're at The Wreck right now. Can't you call AAA?"

You slumped against your car, eyeing the very flat, very useless tire. "They said it'll be two hours. TWO. HOURS."

"Look, I can't come get you. I'm finally on a date with Preston, and I've been really wanting to fuck him for weeks!" Maribella whined over the music. "Remember when we made that pact in tenth grade that we'd never let a man interrupt our ho phase?"

"That was before you ditched me at parties to make out with random guys," you reminded her, grinning despite your situation.

"Oh my god, ancient history! And hey, at least I didn't get caught stealing my dad's expensive whiskey like SOMEONE did during senior year."

"I didn't steal it! I was… borrowing it. And may I remind you who drank most of it?"

"Speaking of dads…" Maribella's voice took on that tone she used when she thought she had a brilliant idea. "I could call mine?! He's literally ten minutes away and you know he's great with cars and all that manly stuff. You know, since you're so familiar with his… skills."

Your stomach dropped. "No. Absolutely not."

"Oh come on! I'm still processing the trauma from when you confessed about hooking up with him at my birthday party. What's one more therapy session?" She cackled. "Besides, he's actually really helpful with cars!" she repeated. "Just try to keep it in your pants this time? I really don't need to add 'stepmom who used to braid my hair in middle school' to my list of emotional damages."

You winced, remembering how she'd spent weeks making daddy issue jokes and changing your contact name in her phone to "Dad's Type."

She'd even gotten you a "World's Okay-est Stepmom" mug for your birthday as a gag gift. The thought of giving her more ammunition made you want to crawl into a hole and die.

If only she knew just how many therapy sessions she'd actually need if she knew about all the other times her father had been helpful lately.

"Fine," you sighed. "I'll call him."

He answered on the second ring.

"Couldn't stay away, could you?"

"My tire's flat. Maribella suggested—"

"Of course she did." His voice was sharp. "Where are you?"

Ten minutes later, the familiar rumble of his truck approached. He stepped out looking infuriatingly good in dark jeans and a light blue henley – probably the same outfit he'd worn to meet up with the woman you saw him with at the Country Club earlier.

"Well," he drawled, "this is familiar."

"Just fix the tire, Rafe."

"What, no small talk?" He crouched down to inspect the damage. "Haven't seen you around the house lately. I'm not the reason that is, is it?"

"Don't worry about it," you laughed bitterly. "I'm sure between the country club brunettes and the yoga instructors, you barely noticed I was gone. Your bed probably didn't even have time to get cold, did it, Rafe?"

You hated how bitter you sounded, hated even more that you cared at all. It shouldn't matter who your best friend's father was sleeping with – that thought alone should have been enough to make you cringe and run away. Instead, here you were, counting his conquests like some jealous ex when you had no right to be either jealous or an ex.

But something about seeing him with other women made your skin crawl, made you want to remind him of how well he knew your body, how perfectly you fit together. It was messed up, you knew that. You shouldn't care who Rafe Cameron took to his bed. You shouldn't, but god help you, you did.

His jaw tightened. "You don't get to play the jealous ex. You're the one who walked away."

"Ex?" You let out a harsh laugh. "Pretty sure we needed to actually date first, Rafe. But we couldn't exactly do that, could we? Because this was never going to work! You're my best friend's father, for god's sake. You practically watched me grow up."

"That's not—"

"And let's be honest, I've seen how you are with women. The yacht club brunette today? The woman at the barbecue? I'm not going to be another notch in your bedpost. What was it you used to say? That I'm 'practically family'? Funny how that worked out."

The air between you crackled with tension as he stood suddenly, his full height making your breath catch. He stepped closer, crowding you against your car until you could smell his cologne – that expensive scent that still lingered on your pillowcase no matter how many times you washed it.

The street was dead silent except for the distant chirp of crickets and your own heartbeat thundering in your ears. His proximity was dizzying, familiar in a way that made your skin prickle with awareness.

"Is that what you think this was?" His voice dropped lower, rough around the edges. The way he was looking at you – like he could devour you whole – made your knees weak, and you hated yourself for still wanting him this much.

"Wasn't it?" You meant it to sound defiant, but it came out breathy, betraying every ounce of want you were trying to hide.

The hazard lights kept casting orange shadows across his face, highlighting the dangerous glint in his eyes, the clench of his jaw. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, remembering all too well how that heat felt pressed against you, inside you.

"Christ, you're infuriating." His hands gripped your waist, pushing you against the car. "You think I sleep around because I enjoy it? I've been trying to get you out of my head since that night at Bella's party."

"By getting under every other woman in town?"

"By trying to convince myself I don't want you." His voice dropped lower, rough with confession. "It's not working."

Before you could respond, he surged forward, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss. His mouth moved against yours with desperate intensity, drawing a gasp from your throat that he swallowed eagerly.

The kiss was all teeth and tongue, punctuated by heavy breaths and quiet groans. Your hands found his buzzed head, nails scraping against his scalp as he pressed you harder against the car, his body caging yours completely.

"Back seat," you panted against his mouth. "Now."

He pulled back just enough to smirk. "So much for being practically family."

"Shut up before I change my mind."

His eyes darkened as he pulled you into the back seat, the familiar electricity crackling between you. Every touch felt like coming home and burning alive at the same time.

You'd forgotten how perfectly you fit together, how he knew exactly where to kiss to make you gasp his name.

"I've missed you," he breathed against your neck, hands mapping the familiar territory of your body like he was afraid you'd disappear again. "Every single day."

You arched into him, fingers tangling in his hair. "Prove it."

The windows steamed up as clothing was hastily discarded, the small space of the back seat making everything more intense, more desperate.

Each touch, each kiss felt like a confession neither of you could say out loud. Your bodies remembered this dance well, finding their rhythm in the darkness.

Rafe groaned as he lined himself up with your soaking cunt, and slowly sank his thick cock deep inside of you, stretching you deliciously.

Your head fell back against the seat, lips parted in a silent moan. His hips rocked forward, burying himself to the hilt inside your slick heat.

"God, you feel amazing," he rasped, voice rough with desire.

You clenched around him in response, drawing a sharp intake of breath. The feeling of fullness was overwhelming, perfect, your body struggling to adjust to his size.

Each small movement sent sparks of pleasure coursing through you, making you forget everything except how perfectly he filled you. It was almost too much – the stretch, the pressure, the way he seemed to reach places no one else ever had.

Rafe began to move, setting a steady rhythm that had you clinging to your legs around his waist.

His lips found your neck, trailing hot kisses down to your collarbone. Your fingers dug into his broad shoulders, desperately trying to ground yourself as the coiling tension inside you built higher and higher, just as Rafe began to fuck you rougher.

Your breath came in ragged gasps as Rafe's pace intensified. His powerful thrusts drove you higher, the friction delicious and maddening.

"That's it, baby," Rafe growled. "Take all of me."

He shifted the angle of his hips, bracing one hand on the window above you for leverage, and you gasped as he hit that perfect spot deep inside. His other hand gripped your hip possessively, guiding his movements as the heat between you became almost unbearable.

Your lips parted, too overwhelmed by sensation and cock drunk to form words. Understanding flickered in Rafe's eyes as he caught your silent request, his mouth claiming yours in a desperate, passionate kiss.

The intensity of the moment consumed you both as his movements grew more urgent, more demanding.

Everything else faded away until there was nothing but this—nothing but him.

In the confined space of the car, the sound of your heavy breathing and Rafe's grunts and groans filled the air. The creaking of the leather seats and the thumping of your bodies against them added to the erotic soundtrack of your lovemaking.

Stars began to burst behind your eyelids as the pressure reached an almost unbearable peak. Your body trembled beneath him, every muscle tightening as you drew closer to the edge. Rafe could feel you starting to unravel--the quick pulses of your pussy bringing him closer to his release-- your breathing becoming more erratic with each movement.

Rafe's movements became erratic, his own release near. "Scream my name when you cum for me," he commanded, voice rough. His thumb finding your most sensitive spot, circling relentlessly

"Rafe!" you gasped, the sound somewhere between a prayer and a curse. His name became your mantra as an unfamiliar pressure built low in your stomach.

You almost wanted to tell him to stop – the sensation was so intense, so foreign, like you needed to run to the bathroom – but the mounting pleasure was too overwhelming to even think about stopping. Every nerve ending was on fire as that strange feeling began to burst.

You let out a guttural scream as your body convulsed with pleasure. Rafe's thumb to your clit and his cock deep inside you pushed you over the edge with a loud wet "squelch!" causing you to squirt all over him and the back seat of your car.

Your whole body shuddered as waves of pleasure crashed over you, a cry of surprise escaping your lips as something entirely new overtook you. The intensity was overwhelming, leaving you breathless and trembling in the aftermath.

Wet sounds filled the car as Rafe continued to fuck into you, and soon after your release, with the overwhelming intensity building between you mixed with both your cries of pleasure, Rafe followed you over the edge, groaning your name as he came undone.

You felt the warmth of his release as his body trembled against yours, his forehead pressed to your shoulder as you both fought to catch your breath in the aftermath of your shared pleasure.

Still trembling, the realization slowly dawning that Rafe Cameron had just made you squirt for the first time.

"Well," Rafe's voice was rough, that dangerous smirk playing on his lips despite the tension still crackling between you. "That's definitely a first." His eyes darkened with a mix of pride and something deeper as he watched you trying to catch your breath. "Didn't know you had that in you, sweetheart."

You couldn't look at him, the weight of what just happened – what always happened between you – settling heavily in your chest. "Don't."

"Don't what?" He brushed your hair back, his touch lingering longer than it should. "Don't point out how well I know your body? Or don't remind you why you keep coming back?"

"Neither," you said coldly, shoving his clothes against his chest. The warmth in his eyes flickered and died at your tone. "Fix my tire so I can go home, Rafe."

You watched something hard settle in his jaw as the reality of what you were – what you could never be – crashed back over both of you.

Later – when your clothes were mostly back on and the windows had started to defog – he finally fixed your tire in loaded silence. The tension between you was suffocating, heavier than before. You both knew this solved nothing; if anything, it just made everything more complicated.

"This doesn't change anything," you said, watching him work. "We still can't—"

"I know." He tightened the last bolt with more force than necessary, the smirk from making you squirt for the first time long gone. "Go home."

Your phone buzzed – Maribella: "Haven't heard back from you… should I be concerned you and daddy dearest are christening the backseat of your car rn? 💀 But seriously, did he fix your car tire yet?"

You watched Rafe's back as he checked the tire one final time, your chest aching with the weight of what could never be. The man who made your body sing was the same man who'd helped you with your college applications, who still had photos of you and Maribella at swim meets hanging in his hallway. Some lines weren't meant to be crossed – no matter how many times you'd already crossed them.

"Thanks for the help," you said quietly, getting into your car.

He just nodded, already walking back to his truck. The weight of what could've been hung heavy between you – if only he'd met you first, in another time, another life.

Not as his daughter's best friend who practically grew up in his house, but as someone he could love openly, someone he could choose without destroying everything else that mattered.

as always, reblogs, likes, and comments keeps me motivated. 🫶🏾

taglist --

@rafestoothbrush @alexxavicry @trapistani @Hejsj @neslayuh @hotvampdragon @alyisdead @jelybely @elmolovesw33d @littlelamy @futuremrscameron @percysley @rrafeswhore @madzig @thatdesigirl17 @drewstarkeysrightarm @seqhyvnz @romantasyreader2024 @luizaelias @rafe-cameronswife @emmavzlsblog @aileenunfiltered @swe3theart-succubus @511rkive @morrrrphin @xcinnamonmalfoyx @obxrafeandjj @rafegf-real @theeternaloptimistt @tini5 @noisychopshopking @hihelloooooooo23 @drewsphswife @zondexr @beckygomez1997 @writtenbyhollywood @heartsforrafecam @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @twinklstarrrr @dilfluvr4evr @yvbe99 @starkeysbebe

[vhaos-chaotic-writing]

HIII HELLO1!!1 (I'm 19 btw just too shy cause this is like. My first time requesting. So sorry if this is kinda weird!)

Could I request Optimus (your choice of incarnation) x a reader who's an outlaw and commits crime 24 hours??(bonus if reader is a deception hehe), like when they first met, they were both at each other throat, but now? THEY'RE KISSING IN SLOPPY MODE-

Sorry if this request is too hard, i don't mind if it short! Thanks and love your writing!!

Finally got to your ask!! (It's okay, bestie!!) - oh Primus, a chaotic reader with an Optimus Prime to deal (and love) with it!! - Vhaos likes it! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ Hehe... I think I know the perfect incarnation of Optimus to use here!

TFP Optimus Prime w/ a Cybertronian!Reader who is a Decepticon... and a danger to society.

WARNINGS: Kind of suggestive (heavy sloppy make out session), I'll even categorize this as crack, somehow. Reader is a cybertronian, a decepticon and gender neutral. Megastar implied (you'll understand).

A pain in the aft and a danger to any kind of society - that's how the Autobots described you.

... Well, nearly aaall of them, since one of them had an extra title for you.

A pain in the aft, a danger to any kind of society and the bot that makes Optimus fragging Prime actually NOT think before acting.

Oh my Primus - said deity and the past Primes are definitely disappointed in him. And he wants to kick his own aft!

You were one of the most crazy Decepticon any of the Autobots have ever seen - and they've dealt with Megatron and Starscream before!

You were a constant 'keep-an-optic-on' for the Autobots, as you would be sent to cause a couple of problems here and there, the typical tactic about having your enemy doing multitasking between the main problem (aka. The war and Megatron) and other problems to deal with (Aka. You).

Last week you got a whole factory on fire (thanks to Primus no human got hurt in the process), a couple of days ago you managed to get Arcee, Bee and Bulkhead lost inside of a cave system after having chased you. And so on.

And lately, Optimus has been dealing with you, trying to stop you from whatever and such.

And by Primus, you knew how to put a fight, make a disaster and even have Optimus give his everything to keep up with you. Even when he got to land a hit or such on you, you would cackle and stand up back, and the cycle continues.

Although... And Primus, it was so wrong to admit it. He found you... optic-catching. Yes, you were a serious problem and a crazy-aft Decepticon.

Still... that didn't stop Optimus Prime from feeling his spark twirl and beat loudly against his chestplate.

Somehow in this battle, Optimus and Megatron weren't fighting faceplate to faceplate - instead, Arcee, Smokescreen and BumbleBee were doing such a good job at dealing with the Warlord while Optimus had to deal with you.

"C'mon, Prime! Land a hit already!" You shout, wide smile on your faceplate as you shoot with your firing weapon at the taller mech.

And Optimus did fire at your pedes, which got to make you trip back - alas, when you fell backwards you fired and it got to his kneeplate, making him fall foward. In the end, the Prime had you caged on the floor.

Blue optics meet (color) optics with astonishment expressions. Suddenly the sound of his teammates fighting Megatron in the background became such a far, far away sound. Were you always this pretty this close? Well, you always kept moving, this may be the first time Optimus got to see you still! And well, he wasn't thaaat bad looking, right? You think, a small sly smirk forming on your faceplate.

Maybe that's why your cheekplates got a soft blue hue on them. And Optimus' cheekplates, too.

"Bee-wee-beep?"

Arcee and Smokescreen, with Megatron doing the same, turn their helms at you and Optimus were... to then feel like frozen in place.

Optics closed and holding each other closer as if long lost lovers (or two young bots with too many hormonal systems doing their jobs), you and the Prime were... making out. Primus, it was too much! (Bee swears, feeling his spark leaving his frame, he saw your glossa all tangled with Optimus'). It was sloppy, loud. Frag, you were even holding Optimus' helm from the back with your servos, preventing him from pulling back. Not like he was actually planning on doing it, with how he was holding your frame with his own servos.

While Arcee, Smokescreen and Bee were frozen in place, feeling like their softwares just fried up, in the blink of an optic, Megatron punched Optimus on his back, managing to sent him flying and separate him from you.

"YOUNG BOT, WHAT THE FRAG ARE YOU DOING?!" Megatron yells. angrily as he picks you from the back of your neck like a cat.

"That fine mech is a wiiild ride!" You answer back, giggling and cackling, all limp in Megatron's hold.

"WAIT UNTIL YOUR CARRI- I MEAN, STARSCREAM KNOWS ABOUT THIS - YOU'LL BE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE!" Megatron warns, throwing you over his right shoulderplate, turning around and starting to walk away.

"You two are not even my two creators - babe-Prime! I'll be back, I promise!" You shout your promise at the Prime, wide smiling and waving your servo at him, and then at his teammates before you and your leader enter an opened ground bridge.

Optimus stands up from the ground, dusting off his lap to then turn towards his three teammates, who still have shocked expressions on their faceplates.

"Heh... well..." He starts.

"Nah, Optimus - are you serious?" Smokescreen interrupted, wincing.

"Down bad." Arcee groaned, trying to forget the whole making out session she saw as Bee gave a few pats to her back, understanding her pain.

Well - this was going to be a funny story to tell back at the base!

Hehehehehehe (≧��≦)ゞ Vhaos out!

[solxamber]

hello hello! hope your well^^

For the mini holiday event,

[Octavinelle, 2, Comedy]

Is that OK? If your inbox is flooded w requests, feel free to skip mine, though!

it's completely fine! i'm having so much fun with this event so don't worry about it!

Kitchen Nightmare || Floyd Leech

For the Holiday Event! || Theme: Cooking/Baking together ; Genre: Comedy

You should’ve known better than to trust Floyd in a kitchen.

“Floyd, what are you doing?”

Floyd’s standing at the stove, humming an off-key tune with the most ominous grin you’ve ever seen. His sleeves are rolled up, there’s an entire octopus dangling from his hands, and the pot on the stove is bubbling ominously like a witch’s cauldron.

“Cookin’,” he chirps, completely unbothered. “What’s it look like, Shrimpy?”

“It looks like you’re summoning a sea monster.”

“Even better! We’re havin’ octopus stew!”

You freeze. “Floyd, Azul's an octo-mer”

“Yup! That’s why it’s extra funny.”

Before you can question that logic, the door creaks open, and in walks Azul. He takes one look at Floyd’s wild grin, the bubbling pot, and the suspiciously large octopus carcass being stuffed into it headfirst. The sound of Floyd’s cackling fills the room like background music to a horror movie.

Azul pauses mid-step. “...I’ll come back later.”

He turns and backs away so quickly, it’s like you just caught him fleeing a crime scene.

“Azul, wait! HELP ME!” you yell, but he’s already gone.

Floyd snorts, clearly pleased. “Heh, Boss is such a scaredy fish. S’not like it’s his cousin.”

You gape at him. “Is it your cousin?!”

“Nah,” he says cheerfully. “But wouldn’t that make it more exciting?”

“Floyd, that’s disturbing.”

He doesn’t answer, just stirs the pot like the unhinged chef he is, muttering things like, “Nice and tender~” and “This’ll be so good it’ll knock your fins off.”

Your survival instincts kick in. “You know what? I think I’ll stick to sandwiches.”

“Nuh-uh, Shrimpy!”

You don’t even have time to blink before Floyd’s behind you, one arm wrapped around your waist, the other waving a spoonful of ominous-looking stew in front of your face like it’s some sort of prize.

“Come on, just one bite~”

“Floyd, I will scream.”

“Oh~ Then I’ll just make you louder.” He’s grinning way too much for your liking, and you’re pretty sure he’s not letting go until you try the stew.

“Fine! FINE!” You swat at the spoon, grabbing it from him with an overly dramatic sigh. “But if I die, I’m haunting you.”

He lets you go with a triumphant hum, leaning way too close as you hesitantly bring the spoon to your mouth. You close your eyes, fully prepared for disaster.

And then—

It’s… good.

You freeze mid-chew. Your brain can’t even process it properly. “Wait a minute.”

Floyd beams. “Told ya it’d knock your fins off!”

“Floyd, what the hell—this is actually delicious.”

“Right?!”

You stare at the stew like it’s personally betrayed you. “No. No way. There’s no reason it should taste this good when it looks like that.”

Floyd’s grinning so wide you’re worried his face might split in two. “Guess I’m just a natural-born chef, huh?”

You glance at him, then back at the spoon, and then back at him again, spiraling into some sort of crisis. “I don’t understand. This is unfair. I was ready to mock you for life.”

“Guess you’ll have to praise me instead,” Floyd sing-songs, rocking back and forth on his heels. “C’mon, admit it, Shrimpy! I’m amazin’!”

You sigh, dramatically collapsing against the counter. “I hate that you’re good at this. I’m so conflicted.”

Floyd cackles, shoving another spoonful toward you like a proud toddler. “Here, eat more! I made enough to feed, like, the whole ocean.”

“I’ll eat it, but I refuse to compliment you further,” you grumble, accepting the bite begrudgingly.

Floyd’s grin only widens as he watches you eat. “You’re so fun to mess with, Shrimpy~”

And for once, you can’t even argue with him.

Masterlist

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Hype!!!! For your 1k follower party - fic prompt request!!!

G, 💐, 🥰 and 🍎 These were so hard to pick omg Congrats again to you!!! 💖😊🫂

Kei, thank you so much!! This was a delight to write, all the more bc you offered to draw a little something to go with it!! Everyone, look at the beautiful art @firefly-party has created to go with this little ficlet! 🌸💖😍

The language of flowers

Words: 1000

Rated: T

Tags: Meet cute; Flower shop AU; Bookstore AU; Background Buckingham; Platonic Stobin; Platonic Hellcheer; Flirting; Horny disaster Eddie Munson

“Chrissy, we have to make a decision.” 

Chrissy stops stirring her cold coffee, tearing her eyes away from the bookstore across the street. Or more precisely the owner, who has just stepped outside with an armful of magazines. Eddie watches how she blinks at him, futilely trying to return to their conversation, and sighs. 

“Ever since that place opened, it's like I'm talking at a wall. A pining, sighing, exorbitantly gay wall. Either, we find a new coffee place…” 

Chrissy’s eyes widen. 

“... or you'll need to ask bookstore chick out.” 

The shock on Chrissy’s face morphs into horror. 

“What?” she squeaks. “No way, I'm not doing that. Have you seen her? She's dreamy, she probably has people queuing up left and right.”

On the other side of the street, dreamy bookstore chick trips over her own shoelaces, sending the magazines flying all around her. 

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Anyhow. Just walk over, ask about the merchandise. Use your charme, get her number.” 

Chrissy scowls. “You say that like it’s easy.” 

“Because it is,” Eddie laughs. “I could do it right now.” 

“Oh, yes? Go ahead.” Chrissy quirks a brow, gesturing at the flower shop next to the café. “If you can walk over and get a random employee’s number, I’ll to ask out bookstore chick. If not, you pay for our coffee.” 

“Oh, it’s on,” Eddie cackles, sliding out of his chair and prancing over to the flower shop. “Watch and learn!” 

He lets his gaze sweep, scanning the employees in the green polos milling about between the flowers. He’s just thinking that all of them are either decidedly too old or decidedly too female when he spots him. He has his back turned, so all Eddie can see of him is a shock of chestnut hair, streaked gold from the sunlight. That, and the polo stretching over the muscles of his shoulders and arms as he bends over the colorful bouquets. Eddie feels his mouth tug into a grin as he saunters closer. That one's perfect.

“Excuse me,” he starts to say. “I'm wondering-” 

The guy turns. And all words evaporate on Eddie’s tongue. 

He was wrong. This one isn't perfect. This one's divine. 

Hazel eyes with gold flecks, brought out by the green shirt. Full, pink lips begging to be kissed. A strong jaw and long neck dotted in moles, like the heavens themselves painted constellations all over the guy’s skin. Eddie is overcome with the sudden, irrational urge to rip off that polo to see if they continue on his chest, maybe trace them with his tongue and teeth. 

“Hi,” says the guy, and even his voice is nice. “Something I can help you with?” 

Eddie thinks there’s many things he’d like this hottie to help him with. 

“Erm …” is what he says. 

Flower shop hottie cocks his head at him and lifts his hand to his mouth. He’s holding an apple, crisp green to match his shirt. It crunches as he takes a bite out of it. Eddie wastes half a brain cell wondering why he's eating at work. The rest ceases functioning over the thin sheen of juice glistening on those lips. Flower shop hottie raises a brow. 

“Flowers,” Eddie croaks after an hour or ten. “I wanna buy flowers.” 

That perfect mouth twitches. “Well, duh. This is a flower shop, y’know?” 

Eddie nods dumbly, wondering if those lips would taste of apples if he licked them.

“Well,” hottie says helpfully, taking another, very unhelpful bite of his apple. “What did you have in mind? Sunflowers would be great for your friend. Bright, cheerful, not overly romantic. Roses for a crush, obviously. Red is the classic, but maybe pink if it's still fresh? Peonies for a more elegant and subtle alternative.” 

Eddie eyes the flowers, the ones with the long stems and dramatic, voluminous blossoms. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Peepo- … Pony- … Those.” 

“Excellent choice,” Hottie beams at him. “They're my favorites.” 

“Cool,” Eddie squawks. “Great. How much are they?” 

“Huh?” says hottie. “No idea, I don't work here.” 

Wait, what? 

Hottie takes in his dumbstruck face, the way Eddie gawks at the green polo - markedly devoid of a company logo or name tag - and smiles.

“Oh fuck,” Eddie groans.

Hottie throws his head back and laughs, like Eddie just made the funniest joke in the world. 

“I'm on my lunch break,” he then explains. “I own the bookstore. Well, co-own. And, speaking of which…” 

Eddie flinches as the half-eaten apple is pressed into his hand, but hottie gestures at him to wait, so he does. The amount of things he'd do for this guy is quite frankly alarming, and he's only known him for a few minutes. 

Hottie fumbles around in his back pocket for a second, finally emerging with a pen. 

“Overheard your little bet,” he says, pulling Eddie’s free hand towards himself. It tickles as he scribbles something onto the his arm and Eddie needs to hold back an undignified snort. “Not the coolest of moves, but if Robin rants at me about your cute little friend one more time, I'll club her to death with a book. So here you go.”

He steps back, snatching the apple and taking another bite while Eddie peers down at his arm. There's a number on it, and a name above that. 

Steve. 

“You don't work here, though,” Eddie blurts. “I didn't win the bet, strictly-” 

“You want this to continue for another month or five?” 

Eddie follows Steve’s nod to see Chrissy gazing forlornly at the front of the bookstore and winces. 

Steve chuckles and nudges him towards her. 

“Go on, then. Put us all out of our misery.” 

Eddie has already started walking when something occurs to him.

“Is this your actual number?” he asks, flapping his arm up and down. “Or did you make it up?” 

“Why don't you try it and find out?” Steve winks at him. “I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of each other either way.” 

Congrats, Eddie, you've just acquired your very own bookstore hottie!

More celebration ficlets

[f4nd0m-fun]

DPxDC - Mafia Ties

Good parents Fenton and redeemed Vlad escaping to another universe with Danny, Jordan, Ellie, Jazz, Tucker, and Sam because of GIW chaos getting so bad they literally need to go to another world to get help, only for the portal to close, and they can't open it from this side. Jordan is Jazz's age maybe a year older and Ellie accidentally got deaged to her actual age give or take which is probably about a year and a half old. Yes it's the Family Breakfast ship.

@hallowsden

Cue Vlad doing his whole possession stuff to not only get them new identities but carefully accumulate a small amount of wealth, not enough to be suspicious in his opinion but still.

The Fenton parents start looking to see if/where this world has ectoplasm because the kids, and maybe Vlad, need it. Hel, maybe the parents accidentally need it too after all those years of exposure.

I know everyone chooses Gotham for this stuff, but also that's about the most I know about DC and it has a Lazarus pit underground so we're using it.

Vlad doesn't get back into the proper businessman profile, too many eyes for him to feel safe after the GIW disaster, but he does end up a Mafia boss, or at least tries. Also, Hood becomes a new 'son' obsession for him, yeah he has Danny and Jordan and Ellie but this kid is also ghosty and probably hungry or something, right?

Hood doesn't get what's up with this weird older man who always has a baby with him, let alone why he'd even bring a baby along to mafia stuff.

Vlad thinks it's safer to have Ellie in mafia meetings than be left with the Fentons during their research obsession periods because they will literally not pay attention to anything else unless it's an emergency, it's not their fault, they're learning to manage it though.

Speaking of Fentons, they work on clean energy manufacturing topside, but underground they deal with weapons. Mostly they supply them to Vlad's crew, since that's basically their testing grounds, but they also don't make anything that's actually lethal. Vlad isn't a fan of guns though but he isn't about to bring out his plasma blasts if there isn't a good reason. (He pretends anyone who sees him cackling like a maniac hit their head, he did say he hates using guns after all).

Jordan and Jazz are probably about 17/18 now. Jazz is going to college, while Jordan slips his way into the kid's mafia (yes he knows he's a kid now too, shut up, he used to be 24). This is half to annoy Vlad and half because he's curious. Jazz, of course, with a little help from both Vlad and Tucker in getting her grades moved between universes, is in college soon, and manages a full scholarship (not that Vlad wouldn't have paid if he still had his old money, in fact he might even be a little jealous that he wasn't the one to pay for her schooling).

Jordan looks a little more like Vlad than he does Jack, due to the way the ghost half fusion effects everything, but he also looks more like Jack than Maddie because Jack is what Danny would have grown into anyway.

Ellie of course just looks like a nearly carbon copy of Danny of course, just baby and female.

Danny, Sam, and Tucker are all going to Gotham Prep, if Vlad can't pay for Jazz's schooling then he's paying at just some for theirs (they might have partial scholarships but not full ride). Danny still sneaks out at night because he can't stand sitting still after a long time of being a vigilante and ends up running into the Bat. He promptly apologizes for invading his haunt and flees.

If any ships, I'm thinking Jazz/Jason and Jordan/Dick, but I'm a sucker for everlasting Trio and Tim also has a trio of his own.

Back to Ellie and Vlad. He of course is trying to keep any 'Meta' rumors on the downlow, but she's just a baby. The harness she's in is ghost proof mostly so she can't just phase out of it, but you try changing a baby's diaper and they just turn intangible, or put then down to nap when they start floating. Hel, imagine setting her down for two seconds, she accidentally makes a shield, and now she's crying because she wants to be held. Sure, Vlad and Danny both, Jordan and Ellie too, can go through shields in human form, but that doesn't mean it doesn't sting or something. Eventually it gets figured out though.

I wonder how long it takes Jason to figure out that this Jordan fellow is related to Vlad. 😂

I also wonder what it would take for Vlad to actually use his ghost form outright, what kind of threat he'd expose himself to for the sake of his family. Just, shoving the kids at Jack - "Darling your aim is iced tea, let Maddie and myself handle this" - and doing what he has to.

And, yes, even as a Mafia boss he refuses to actually swear. Also, he probably still goes by Plasmius, the way his other form looks does NOT help the vampire rumors. Let alone the- well, I read a post on here a while ago where Ellie Danny and Jordan were deaged and needed his ectoplasm to survive. Imagine being a Plasmius goon in a meeting while he's trying to rock his baby to sleep and she's just sucking on his hand. You don't think much of it until you see he's bleeding and, even though it's technically red, your pretty sure it's glowing green and you're not sure if you want to ask (you won't but still). Plus, he's not even reacting to what must be a fair bit of pain, right?

Honestly, there's probably a betting pool about the whole weird family.

And of course I'm bringing in my Alfred Clockwork storyline. Flashpoint Thomas is Frighty, dead Thomas is Pariah, and Gotham is Martha. The moment Vlad finds out that Jason's grandparents are some of the most powerful ghosts in the realms (or at least this side of them in Gotham's case) he's like "okay I won't interfere, but maybe he'd like a friend? He doesn't seem to know a lot of ghosts.' (he tries to figure out which kid would be a better fit and that's when he finds out Jordan's been working for Hood this whole time. "You didn't tell me?" "You didn't know?!") 😂

Basically, give me a Mafia family who's major story plot isn't even the bats outright, it's just trying to survive after fleeing a world that may as well be destroyed at this point. Sure, they interact with the bats, cross paths, maybe even a couple relationships, but, overall, the Fenton-Masters are just outsiders in Gotham, learning to adjust to this new life.

[femnoah]

Female Noah headcannons part 5:

Team escope edition!!!!

Neha's mother practically adopted the other two girls as soon as she met them after TDI, they basically live at her house at this point like, they've synced up (if you get what I mean- Neha's brothers stay well clear for a couple of days a month) . They always end up having cuddle piles on Neha's bed. Eva runs unnaturally hot so she's basically the other two girls' hot water bottle and at least one of them ends up with fur in the face. I totally headcannon that Neha's dog was her cuddle buddy (she definitely gave it goodnight kisses- not that she'd admit it) before Izzy and Eva so they always wake up with a fourth body on the bed.

Cause they spend so much time around Neha and her brothers, both Eva and Izzy have become desensitised to pretty boys- Eva had a very hard and embarrassing first week around them. Unfortunately, Owen is far too much of a disaster bi to be saved. Like, they can admit when they find someone attractive but they don't go stupid over it. Justin almost had a stroke cause he overheard EVA of all people say ''yeah, I see what you mean now Noah, he really isn't that special''. He's become convinced that 'Noah' is secretly a demon he wronged back on TDI who is slowly taking his power of attractiveness away from him. He spent a couple of weeks avoiding 'Noah' as much as possible before coming to the conclusion that he needs to seduce the demon before he loses his attractiveness. Neha genuinely just hates him, she saw his vibes and was like nope, I'm not dealing with this. But hey, at least she's got Eva on her side now!

People think Neha's just the poor handler of the group who gets dragged around by two crazies and gets wrangled into their schemes. Eva finds this hilarious cause Neha is always the first on board with all of Izzy's plans, she'll pretend to deny it and be 'dragged along' but Eva has seen that look she gets in her eyes as soon as Izzy suggests something. She's well aware that Neha is her and Izzy's greatest enabler so it's pretty funny how oblivious and stupid everyone else is.

Eva and Neha are the kind of besties that just clock someone and are like ' she's definitely gonna hate them so I do too'. Neha laughed when Bridgette got trapped to the pole (though she did feel bad for Geoff for the smallest second when she found out how) because she was imagining Eva's reaction. She got the biggest eyebrow raise from Alejandro when he noticed but she was too busy showing Izzy (she started cackling with her) to see it. Neha and Eva just bully everyone together (it's their love and hate language, so far only Izzy and Owen can tell it apart) so they get into petty arguments with others a lot. You know it's actually something serious though when Izzy gets involved. They're literally all each other's ride or die.

Team escope girls nights'! They are either the most wholesome paint nails, gossip, do each others hair and watch movies nights in or they're borderline illegal sprees that include a random animal of the day unknowingly funded by everybody's favourite unhinged host! He really shouldn't have let Neha have access to his finances... The one time they're caught they gave the whole cheesy 'but this is what we learnt from all of this today speech!' trying to look as innocent as possible before hightailing it.

Eva tends to carry the other two girls around, especially Neha. There have been times where she's carrying Neha by her scruff like a cat and Izzy around her waist (so she can't worm out) at the same time. So far she holds the record of carrying both of them at the same time with no complications. The closest person to her record is Chef but he dropped them after Izzy bit him for the 17th time.

Izzy regularly has tea with Neha's aunties and mother (and sometimes Chef when he's free), it took her a while to realise but they all genuinely adore her as she is. She gets called Neha's triplet at one point so she just starts calling Neha and Eva her triplets. That's how Neha clocked on to what they were doing. Neha's mother even started calling them her little triplets. She's definitely where Neha gets her whole 'won't elaborate' thing.

"Oh these three are my little triplets! Aren't they all just adorable!" 'Evas glowering at the other person while Izzy is chewing on her arm and Neha is just lying on the ground in front of them.' "ah, yes... Adorable... Triplets you said? But they don't look anything like eachother and two of them don't even look like you!" "Yeah, that's true!" And then she just walks away. This was the start of Eva and Izzy joining them with the matching hairstyles.

Part 1

Next

[queenbeebumblebee]

"Trying to meassure"

Lee!Vox Ler!Velvette

Summary: Velvette is trying to meassure Vox for new outfits in plan(plus to Fix the old one) and it turns into a little Tickle Game.

Vox was just minding his own business looking through his new phone, he had to get a new one because You know, the last time Val broke his phone, wich it wasnt no fun.

Of course, his suit was a MESS! Because of today he had been dealing with Alastor, wich of course.. lost. You could tell he was extremely mad about this. Of course, this din't last for long.

As Vox was just checking on social media, minding his own business, he could hear some familiar footsteps coming closer and closer to him, it was non other than Velvette, who exactly, looked annoyed.

"Vox. Vox i need You to come with me now."

Velvette said sternly, earning Vox's look of confusion.

"hm? What could be the problem My dear?"

Vox asked, looking confused on the annoyed look the other Overlord gave, he din't Even notice his ruined suit.

"have You LOST your mind?! Look at You, You look horrible! Come over here now!!"

Velvette yelled, her expression on her face turning from annoyed to mad, she quickly dragged Vox by the wrist, guiding him to the wardrove.

"oh come on Vel, My suit doesnt look THAT Bad!"

Vox said, looking at his own suit, He thinks that this was just normal, but for Velvette, it was a DISASTER.

Let's skip to the important part.

Vox was forced to be Standing still as Velvette meassured him, because she needed to Make him a new outfit for him, plus a few Styles just to Make him look awesome, though, his breath has been caught trapped in his throat as the Overlord "accidently" brushed her fingers across his ribs.

"u-uhm.. Vel, what exactly are You-"

Before he could Even Say anything else, a soft snort came out of him as Velvette veeery slowly counted his ribs, while her other hand "accidently" tickled his hip, earning a few giggles from the Tv Overlord, his screen now heating up and his fans working to cool him off.

"V-Vehehel! Cuhuhut it ohohohout!!"

"hold still Vox, i'm trying to meassure You."

Vox tried his hardest to not move away, of course, he can't help but twitch slightly as it really tickled him, he did not want to be a giggly mess right now, as if it was gonna be worse, still, she did not stop.

"come on, it ain't that bad."

"b-but it tihihickles! Ohoho fuck, gehet it ohohover wihihith!!"

Vox said as he wheezed out a cackle, sure, he liked being tickled, Even though he wouldnt ever and i mean NEVER admit it, but it was hard to hold still when Velvette just meassured him as an excuse to Tickle him, yet he dint mind at all, but-

"AHAHA SHIHIHIHT, V-VEHEHEL NOT THEHEHEHERE!!"

Vox yelled as he shrieked when Velvette MESSED With his antenna, while her other hand was still "meassuring" him by brushing her fingers from his hips, to his Upper ribs, close to his Armpits.

"oh come on Vox, let me meassure You, i'm almost done."

"IHIHIHITS SOHOHO BAHAHAHAD!"

Vox yelled as he squeald and cackled, Velvette of course watched with a grin, she finds in funny how ticklish this Demon is, her and Valentino always takes advantage, but they don't do it better than Alastor of course.

A few minutes passed, Vox's laughter and snorts filled the air, until finally, Velvette decides to have some mercy on the poor Overlord.

"i'm done, You have to wait here 'till i get some outfits in your size, okay?"

"g-geheheheez.. okay... Ohoho god.. that was so Bad.."

Vox said quietly as he wheezed and tried to catch his breath, as Velvette left, Vox took this opportunity to just relax and wait, though he kinda wanted the Tickles to go on for longer, but he would rather double die then to admit it. He then took a seat as he waited for the other Overlord to come back with the outfits, he could hear her yelling at her employees.. let's just Say he had a Revenge plan, but for now, he waited to get a new suit.

THE END.

OMG finally i'm done with this, i'm sorry it took long, i was busy on some shit. But anyways, i hope You enjoyed it!

[strewwwberry]

I’ve seen a few posts spinning the idea that Shen yuan had ex-girlfriends before getting transmigrated

This was where I got pretty much this entire idea from so I give entire credi to them lol coz I basically copied it in different words 😂

Go check it out first! :

I love it so much, and the cherry on top has to be that it would totally make sense for him to have had girlfriends like are you kidding me,

He’s described as decently attractive and if we know anything about how shen yuan describes himself and others that aren’t through obvious bias (such as yue Qingyuan, Shen qingqiu and liu qingge first looks he gets of them) then I’m confident in that he’s probably telling the truth, we also know he’s rich as hell, he’s a literal neet/nepo baby, and we also know that he has siblings, more specifically a little sister.

Now as someone who can have insight into the woman’s brain as someone raised a woman™, a guy who gets along with their little sister is a green flag

Now all that in mind, shen yuan getting some is not that shocking in all honesty, and frankly his nerdiness probably added to his charm for some girls and his totally not gay just respect women juice also probably got some oblivious girls to go "awww what a sweetheart"

So yes, shen yuan with exes is spectacular for the logical reasons

Now the funny reasons.

Can you imagine him talking to airplane about this? Shang qinghua is just like well wtf do you know about sex you virgin and shen yuans just like "Lan-Jie thought I was great stfu"

Shang qinghua would be flabbergasted

And to add to that, shang qinghua definitely catfished shen yuan and I will stand by that in any shen yuan has exes universes

Going off of the other post linked above, shang qinghua with some nickname like "Xiao Hua" or maybe "Xiao Mei" just meaning little sister and shen yuan just never questioning it until Shang Qinghua just up and ghosts him after realising nah this dude gay a hell

Back to svsss and Shen yuan is listing off his exes and mentions "Xiao Mei" on his like 47th ex an sqh is just like

😃😃

Humour my darling, I'm cackling

Anyway brainrot over have a good night/morning/afternoon (￢ ‿ ￢ )

[knifeforkspooncup]

I have a fic rec that has me CACKLING it is so fucking funny. This fic by @hotcrosspigeon has to be one of the funnest narratives I've read.

It's equal parts disaster Crowley and flirty bastard Aziraphale, with a hefty spoonful of exasperated Anathema, and a dash of dorky Newt for good measure. The writing is like popcorn you can't stop reading, you'll feel like you're strapped to a shopping cart rolling down a hill every chapter I promise.

I'm gonna leave this one non-spoiler-y quote here as further temptation:

Aziraphale looked like he did that time he’d consumed twenty cups of caramel macchiato and Crowley had found him clinging on to a bookshelf and proclaiming that he could taste words. Turned out he’d accidentally wolfed down a few pages of an incredibly rare first edition of The Hobbit and had been inconsolable for months afterwards.

[lady-of-ocs]

SEASON 2! SEASON 2!

GUESS WHO FINISHED SEASON 1!!

ME! I DID!

I ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH! It's consuming my life, actually. Literally all I've done in the past few days is binge it.

(This is a longer ramble so I'll put a cut in the post!)

So the game with Aoba Johsai. I knew that Karasuno was going to lose (I'd seen plenty of spoilers, such as the crying while eating scene) BUT IT STILL MADE ME SO SAD? SINCE WHEN DID I CARE ABOUT VOLLEYBALL? SINCE I STARTED TAKING AN INTERESTED IN THIS SHOW, THAT'S WHEN. I was honestly really proud of everyone during this game even though they lost. It was really close and I know that makes it that much harder that they lost. This game had me stressed out fr fr. On one hand, fuck Oikawa. On the other, he definitely grew on me. As I said in the last post, he and Iwaizumi are a fantastic duo and I live for their dynamic (you annoy me but I know you better than anyone and I love you for it). Iwa denies it, but they definitely have that bond of trust. Side note, their chant in the English dub had me fucking rolling. What IS this. Also, get that poor chanting guy a water because his voice was absolutely shredded by the end of the game. Since I mentioned the dinner scene, I just wanna say it broke my heart. Had to get up and take a walk (but that was mostly to get food lol).

SUGA MY ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE. HE'S SO TALENTED AND WARM TO THE OTHERS AND YOU CAN TELL THAT KAGEYAMA RESPECTS HIM SO MUCH. Kageyama's attempt at a smile like Suga had me absolutely cackling. I am right here with proud parents daisuga, that was absolutely delightful.

TSUKISHIMA YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD! Enough said.

SOMEONE SAVE MY POOR BABY YAMAGUCHI, HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING TO DROP DEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING COURT. I need to hug him, actually. Me, watching him bounce the ball before serving: hey doesn't he bounce it off his foot Yamaguchi: *bounces the ball off his foot and chases after it* Me: oh bless him someone please hug that boy

I wasn't worried about the third years leaving (I have seen Battle of the Garbage Dump prior to this because I like watching things out of order I guess- jk I'd had a bad day and it was the only Haikyuu thing I could find in English dub at the time) but I was really intrigued by how they approached it. My respect for Suga is through the roof. Again, husband material. He and Asahi are tied for my #1 husband spot (though I'm certain Kuroo will rise in the ranks as I watch more of season 2).

SPEAKING OF SEASON 2! I have started that as well! Just got through episode 4! Hello to Asahi's little hair string, you will always be famous (I genuinely am loving his hair this season. I'm a fan. He's so soft how can anyone be scared of him???).

I'm sure that Ushijima will also grow on me but BITCH HE'S ON MY HIT LIST RIGHT NOW. AND I MEAN THAT IN A LITERAL WAY, I WANT TO SLAP HIM. YOU TELL HIM HINA BABY.

I love these four absolute disaster idiots. Tanaka, Nishinoya, Hinata, and Kageyama, you are the funniest, I fear. Idiot quartet. Bless them.

HELLO SAEKO! She's an absolute delight. They did not need to make her boobs jiggle but it makes me laugh. She and Tanaka are disaster siblings and I live for it. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING MY IDIOT DUO TO TOKYO, QUEEN.

YACHI!!!!! YACHI IS HERE!!! She's such a sweet innocent summer child. Bless her, she's my daughter. I went through a whole rollercoaster of being like "oh, Yachi's mom is HOT," quickly followed by "oh, I'm not sure I like how she treats Yachi," and eventually fell on "OKAY SHE'S HOT AGAIN NOW THAT SHE'S TREATING YACHI BETTER!" Props to Mr. Random Business Partner who was actively speaking up to Yachi's mom about how she treated her daughter. Love him, actually. So proud of my baby for standing up for herself though and I love her friendship with Hinata already. They're so cute.

Side note but how is Yachi not canonically queer? THE VERY FIRST THING YOU HEAR FROM HER IS THAT KIYOKO IS CUTE??? AND SHE'S SO DISTRACTED BY KIYOKO'S BEAUTY (there are literally sparkles and a pink tint to everything) THAT SHE JUST MINDLESSLY AGREES TO WHATEVER KIYOKO SAYS??? THERE ARE GAY THINGS HAPPENING ON MY SCREEN. MOST CANON GAY CHARACTER GOES TO YACHI, EVERYONE.

They all really changed their shirts in front of Yachi. RIP, girl. RIP

Their welcome to Yachi was so cute. I need to lie down.

IT'S NOT QUITE TIME FOR THE SUMMER TRAINING CAMP YET BUT WE'RE GETTING CLOSE!!! MY BOY BOKUTO HAS FINALLY APPEARED AND I'M VERY HAPPY TO SEE HIM! HEY HEY HEY TO MY FAVORITE IDIOT OWL. And, of course, I'm very pleased to see Nekoma! I'm glad that Hinata has a little group of friends (Kenma and Inuoka) there! Also, I'm very excited to see more Lev because he seems really cocky right now and I kind of want to knock his 6'4 ass down a few pegs. P.S. Yamamoto is so fucking funny actually.

SO ANYWAY THAT WAS A LONG ONE BECAUSE I WATCHED A LOT OF EPISODES. EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF SEASON 2 BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE HEARD IT'S A FAVORITE IN THE FANDOM.

I have also further fleshed out the oc. Keep waiting. Might post about her once my winter break starts.

[daegorth]

Here we go! I'm gonna need multiple reblogs to fit them all, but i'll manage. Look for more in the notes!

Lets start with something that made me ugly cackle. Reddit snapshots taken moments before disaster

And then let the chaos begin😆

[baby--charchar]

Baby Vaggie + Snack Time

So like I've said, I see Vaggie as being autistic and think that would factor into her regression. She has exactly 4 (...3) safe foods that she'll always agree to, including pupusas, rice, chicken nuggets from a specific brand, and water. She's also probably food aversive in her bigger headspace, but she may try to hide that more since she'd be masking. As a baby not needing to mask, she has no qualms about saying 'no' to unwanted food.

'Saying' may be a strong word. She's nonverbal in babyspace, so "chuck the plate at the wall and run away" is probably more accurate.

It worries Lucifer. Honestly. He worries over vitamins, he worries over protein and fiber, he worries over whether he made her enough food to keep her full. Charlie's always been such a little foodie. Even regressed, she loves trying new things! He's never really had a loved one like Vaggie to look after, and he's scared he's doing it wrong. He's certain he's neglecting her by not giving her enough.

So he sets off to try to find more foods to offer little Vaggie! Fruit? ...no. Oatmeal? Yuck. Mac and cheese? Never. She either won't come near him if he's holding something for her to try, or she rips the plate out of his hands and slams it on the ground, making a huge disgusting mess. Not once does she bring herself to try anything.

He means well. He just wants to avoid upset tummies for her. But it's stressing her the fuck out. Every time she slips into babyspace, he wants to get her to try something new. But no!!! She hates all the foods!!! It gets to the point where Baby Vaggie starts throwing tantrums whenever she starts feeling hungry, just anticipating a fight.

Well no, see, NOW Lucifer fucked up. Now she won't even eat her safe foods if he's the one who makes it because she can't trust him. He feels just horrible.

Eventually he and Vaggie need to have a talk when she's not regressed, with Charlie mediating. With a really thorough explanation on sensory issues, plus some tough love, they're able to convince Lucifer that backing off with the food thing is how he can support Vaggie best. Not by forcing it.

He completely stops trying to force the food issue. He understands why it was harmful for Vaggie. But secretly...he doesn't actually feel BETTER. He's still so scared that Vaggie's not getting enough and that he's making her sick by underfeeding her. He thinks he just can't win as her caregiver. But he LISTENS to her and stops. And that matters the most to Vaggie.

One day, by chance, Baby Vaggie toddles over to the kitchen counter and starts messing around. Lucifer is so wrapped up in what he's doing that he doesn't notice her at first.

She found an apple pie. Cooled thankfully, so it won't burn her. But a big, beautiful baked pie he made to surprise Charlie later.

He looks over and there's Vaggie just having the time of her life destroying it. She loves the smell and the *SQUISH* of squeezing it in between her little fingers. He starts to react but...just gives up. It's too damn late to stop her. He sighs, feeling defeated.

But her laugh is pretty contagious. The goof ball's smeared pie everywhere. Across the counter, in her hair, on her pajamas. Kid's just a walking disaster and is having too much fun to realize it. He can't stay mad at her. In fact, he comes over to join in. He draws little pictures and scribbles in the muck with her, and makes silly "SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!" noises when he crushes the sliced apples on the counter. Vaggie cackles from all the energy.

Vaggie goes to wipe the drool off her lips with the back of her hand, and Lucifer notices she's smeared a big glop of syrup across her face. Across her mouth. Her little pink tongue just barely pokes out of her mouth in curiosity. Lucifer pauses and holds his breath.

She cringes and spits on the floor. Yuck.

But...the baby's tried it...! The baby tried some new food! Lucifer is delighted!

"OH you little sunshine! You little duckie, I'm so proud, you're so brave!" He goes on cooing at her until she's just sick of it. But! His babyest baby girl did a thing! Tried a new thing! On her own terms and in her own time! It's just one tiny little thing but it means the world to him because she means the world to him!

He starts brainstorming more food they can play with. More smearing! More sensory! More messes! More fun! Get his baby all the fun!!!

Charlie comes home and nearly faints at the sight of the kitchen, which is absolutely trashed. They're both walking disasters.

[vivern-of-nosgoth]

My part of our little non-con fantasy parade

Thanks to @neglectedincubus and @tellmeallaboutit for the damn well theme to discuss

Well, irl I'm the little potato, but metaphorically speaking, with a close look I'm the most cackling mix of the sweetest housewife from 50's and the grumpiest WWII grandpa with a pink cockatoo on his shoulder, and the parrot is the real threat there (don't annoy it, just don't).

So. I am tired and people are idiots. Most of them behave like toddlers with hangover, always wait for SOMEONE to clean their shit (mental or real) and release them from the horrors of thinking. Also they are high anxious, so my whole life is basically being an emotional support animal, nerd enough to fix some problems (I'm not a super-duper specialist but I can do some basic shit I guess).

I have always seen myself as a weak one, so or I have the Plan (with bunch of sub-plans) or I'm fucked and stuck in a mental and physical disaster.

I need rest. I need SOMEONE (Raph, bebe, I'm looking at you) who can be in charge but also who won't fucked up and became a little whinning bitch who blames YOU for their inability to bear some balls (metaphorically speaking).

I respect subs and pets, it's okay to just be alive and to be soft and dependent, no big deal bebe, wish you all the sweetest sugar daddies and mommies (call me if you've found one extra to share pls).

But OH BOY if I fucking HATE the intentional incompetence. Everything frozes in me to not to destroy the fucker, and my genitals are shrink and grow spikes. UGHHHHHhh. Don't you DARE to waste my energy on your disgusting coquettish behavior of a pooped up damsel in distress with brain size of a corn flake.

Anyway. So I need to relax and the Evil guy who is capable of planning and thinking, who also has the passion (aka concentration) closes to obsession - bingo! Steal me bebe and make me proud of you.

And, well, basically I AM the yandere here, but sort of caring one (I am the Daddy one, I know) so.. Impress me, sugar *maniac laughter*

[a-french-coconut]

Drew Tanaka (Part 9)

"Peace at last ?"

"I wouldn't say peace," Drew says as she struggles to put reins on Porky, "it's more like a truce."

"Why's that ?" Connor asks her, leaning on Porky's stable.

"Well," she grunts as the pegasus moves his head again, "I talked to her about Silena and she understood, but she seemed kinda nervous about the whole thing."

"You think she's hiding something ?"

"I don't know-stop moving your damn head- no, not you Connor, the horse."

"It's unlikely, though." Connor says as he hands her the saddle pad, "she's too new to this world to be involved in something."

"Thanks, I wouldn't so sure about that. Remember her quest, a giant kidnapped her father ? It's the first time monsters use our mortal links to threaten us."

"Maybe she's got a really good relationship with her dad," Connor shrugs, "and we, a whole generation with parental issues, don't get how someone could use our mortal parents to blackmail us." He snorts, "If someone told me they had my mother, I would offer them a gift."

"Give me the saddle. Piper didn't seem on good terms with her dad. Famous actor, Tristan Mclean ?"

"I've been at camp since I was a child Drew, I have no idea who that is."

"Anyway, she told me they didn't speak a lot." She adjusts the saddle, give Porky an apple to distract him while she mounts him. "I think the whole story is fishy."

"Are you sure you like Piper ? Because you sure seems to try to find her problems."

"I'm not trying" she rolls her eyes, "but one disaster was enough, I don't need another Silena."

"Drew," Connor says softly, "Silena is dead, the war is over. Don't you think you're searching with something that isn't there ?"

"What ?" She snaps, "you think I'm crazy ?"

"I'm not saying that, but you've been so obsessed with "Piper being a new Silena" thing-"

"I wasn't obsessed, Stoll," she grits, "Piper thinks like Silena, she has charmspeak just like Silena, what else does she have in common with her too ?"

"What ? You think she's traitor ?" Connor cackles, "please, Drew, it's ridiculous."

"Listen, Stoll," she hisses, gripping Porky's mane tightly, "if all you are going to do is laugh at me, you can go. There is something weird with the whole quest. Piper insisted on going despite having no training whatsoever, and oh ! Her dad is kidnapped !"

"Coincidence !" Connor says with an infuriating flippancy, "they wanted leverage, and Jason's mom and Leo's weren't exactly available were they ?"

"Why ?" Drew frowns.

"They're dead."

"How the fuck do you know that ?"

"Annabeth told me about it after Thalia told her last summer and Leo talks a lot."

"Fine, but it doesn't change the fact that it's weird."

"Drew," Connor sighs tiredly, his smile a bit more strained, "I thought you wanted people to like you. You are not going to achieve that by accusing your new sister with no proof at all."

"Oh please, they'll get over it !"

"Accusing someone is big deal," Connor says bitterly, "trust me, it's no fun."

"Connor, it's not the same situation-"

"Except your own suspicions, do you have any concrete proof ?"

"No, but I can find-"

"Did she told you anything that might make her a traitor ?"

"I told you, she looked nervous-"

"Drew !" Connor snaps, "you can't go around telling people Piper is a traitor just because you think she is one !"

"Why not ?" She refutes hotly, "you turned out fine in the end !"

It's not right and she knows it.

She knows the nights Connor spent awake, cursing the campers who accused him, cursing Luke for being his brother.

She knows he doesn't trust people like he used to, not after the Titan war.

"I didn't mean it. Connor, I'm sorry."

But he's leaving.

"Connor !" She yells as he leaves the stables, "I'm sorry !"

Cursing, she dismounts Porky, and runs after the son of Hermes.

"Connor, don't you dare run !"

He runs, fast as a dryad.

"Oh for the love of gods." She groans, picking up speed, "Stoll !".

"Catch me and we'll talk !" He screams, going even faster.

"And no charmspeak !" He adds.

As if she could speak after chasing him for a good solid hour.

She's panting, her legs are aching and burning and they are probably the main show of the afternoon but she keeps running.

She has to apologise because she can't lose her best friend.

"Still there ?" He taunts her, the bastard still breathing perfectly, "Because I can keep going for a long- SOLACE PUT ME DOWN !"

As they pass in front of the infirmary, Will catches Connor and picks him up, bridal style.

"Will, you're the best !" She says when she arrives at their level.

"Don't listen to her, you're the worst." Connor pouts in Will's arms.

"What's been going on between you two ?" The son of Apollo asks sternly.

Drew's sure he would cross his arms if it wasn't for Connor.

"I messed up." She admits.

"She thinks Piper is a traitor." Connor says.

"That's not where I messed up." Drew clarifies.

"Oh yeah, she basically said that you can go around calling people traitors."

"And I'm wrong, I know."

Will sighs, obliged to free Connor to pinch his nose.

"First of all, apologise to Connor."

"Already did."

Will looks at Connor for confirmation and the son of Hermes nods.

"Great, second of all, what the fuck Drew ?"

"See ? It's ridiculous !" Connor exclaims.

"It's not !" She argues, "I have reasons !"

"What are they ?" Will sighs.

She tells me the same thing she told Connor, Piper's weird attitude and the mystery of her dad being kidnapped.

"Nonsense." Connor rolls his eyes.

She's ready to throttle him when Will talks.

"No, there's something weird about Piper's dad."

While Connor's jaw drops to the floor, Drew whoops.

"See, Stoll ? I'm not crazy."

"Wait, I'm not saying she's a traitor." Will warns, "but if her dad was kidnapped, then the giants knew about her."

"But she's new to this world !" Connor protests, "they certainly didn't get the information from here."

"Then it was from before."

"I don't know, Drew, even if the giants knew about her dad, what does it change ? They still saved Hera in the end and nobody died." Will points out.

"Yeah," Connor presses on, "if she was a traitor, she would have sabotaged the quest."

"That ends your theory, Drew." Will smiles, "congrats, your sister is not a traitor !"

"Yeah," she sighs, "I guess so..."

"The normal reaction would to be happy." Connor states.

"I know but you guys didn't see her when we talked about Silena, she looked uncomfortable when I told her she reminded me of her."

"As would anybody when you tell them you remind me of my dead sister." Connor mimics her voice.

"Shut up," Will hits Connor, "you almost had a panic attack when you saw Jason."

"Really ?"

"It wasn't a panic attack," Connor rolls his eyes, "I just freaked out a little when I saw blonde hair and glacial blue eyes."

"He stayed in the infirmary for two hours." Will adds.

"What happened to doctor-patient privacy ?" Connor complains.

"You didn't told me that." Drew frowns.

"Sorry," the son of Hermes says, "I just thought you had enough with your plate with Piper."

"Now that all the skeletons are out of the closet, come in." Will cheerfully push them in the infirmary.

"Why ?" They both ask.

"I need help classing the files."

They both groan.

----------------------------------

Turns out the three of them have very diverse manners to sort things. While Will does it by alphabetical order, Drew tries to create the best colour pattern and Connor ranks it from younger to older.

Will kicks them out rather quickly, as they messed up more his files than actually help him, and Drew wanders back to the archery range, for once empty from any Apollo's children.

She grabs a bow and a quiver, sets the moving targets and begins her training.

Look. String. Shoot.

Black circle.

Both her friends agree, Piper is not a threat.

Patience, follow the target's path.

Shoot, blue circle.

She's a new demigod, a new sister with who Drew got off on the wrong foot.

Two arrows at once, two different targets.

String the bow, bowstring cutting her fingers because she forget her gloves.

Black circle, miss the other.

Too long since she practiced, too long since anyone bothered teaching her.

They relaxed and Percy disappeared.

They thought the war was over and a new one fell upon them, catching them by surprise.

Last arrow, make it count.

Farthest target, moving between trees.

She can't have another Silena, and maybe Connor is right, maybe she's just a lunatic broken by war, a paranoid girl seeing Silena where she isn't.

Breathe, in and out.

Bowstring next to the ear, arrow ready to fly.

Wait for the target.

But Piper was nervous, and she needs to be sure, otherwise the worm of doubt will rot her from inside until it consumed her entirely.

Breathe, steady the arms, don't let them shake.

One last despicable act, one last sister under charmspeak.

Are you a traitor ?

Piper will say no, as Connor and Will say, and Drew will be free from Silena.

No more nightmares.

No more seeing her where she doesn't belong.

Target in front of her, shoot.

Red circle, not yellow.

Drew sighs as she lets down the weapon.

She really needs to practice more.