#And this was just after attempting to FLIP OFF Darkwing

[orion-archives]

I'm cackling like a hyena with this frame.

Look at Orion, smiling, being so precious, about to get PUNCHED out of existence by his bro.

Seconds before disaster.

[ducks-at-sunset]

Collaboration with @starryduckpond!

They're in our minds 24/7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tonight was going to be a busy one, Darkwing could tell as he ran along the rooftop of a building. The sun was still visible over the horizon and he was already in pursuit of a crook who thought that he could get away with thievery in St. Canard. Didn't this punk know that he was the ever-watchful eye that kept St. Canard secure each and every night?

Darkwing had disembarked from the Thundercrack when he spotted the thief, but that didn't mean Launchpad was idling. The ship was keeping up from the side, awaiting the perfect time to intervene.

The robber jumped to the next building over, nearly losing his balance. Darkwing chuckled to himself. Didn't he realize who he was dealing with? He leapt easily from this building's edge and landed on the same one the crook was on. No sweat!

Though, the robber was still foolishly undeterred, and continued to run.

Darkwing glared at his back, and sped up. He wasn't so far behind. The crook vaulted himself to the next building over. Darkwing would catch him on that rooftop.

However, there was a raised ledge that he didn't see quick enough, and his foot caught the side of it during the start of his leap. Darkwing was suddenly seeing blurry walls and the alley below instead of rooftops the criminal bounded across.

He processed the situation quickly, and flipped himself upright to avoid a messy landing, but that timespan was short.

He landed on one foot before the other by a second. Within that instant, a pain shot up through his leg.

Darkwing fell back, teeth grit. That... really hurt. He was sitting up, at least, and tried leaning forward to stand. This proved fruitless when the sharp ache returned tenfold.

The jet pilot noted his partner's sudden slip, and returned to stop in between the buildings above the alleyway. Launchpad opened the hatch of the Thundercrack and poked his head over to peer around for him. "DW! Are you ok?"

Darkwing raised a hand to direct his voice higher. "Yes! Go on ahead, I'll catch up!" He yelled to him to confirm that he was at least conscious.

Launchpad nodded and he sat back. The dome closed, and the chase continued overhead.

Darkwing tried to lift himself up again, but even with a little bit of weight put on his right leg, pain would flare up. It was too much for even him to ignore.

"Ugh..." he groaned, loathing his current situation. Just his luck!

He leaned back and managed to drag himself some distance to lean against the alley wall. The place was filthy, with piles of junk against the sides and smudges of who-knows-what, but he had no choice but to wait for the pain to ebb away enough to get back up and into the action.

After a period of waiting, repeated failed attempts to stand, and increasing amount of frustration, Darkwing could hear the Thundercrack approach the same alleyway again.

Oh, how he wanted to just slip down and disappear from Launchpad's sight...

"Got him, DW! I dropped him off." He heard him say excitedly.

"Great." Darkwing said flatly, looking up to Launchpad, who smiled back down at him.

"Ready to find the next case then?" He asked.

"Of course..." he looked at the wall across from him.

DW didn't sound ready at all, Launchpad thought. He wasn't making a move to board the ship. He wondered what the issue was.

"Do you want to take a break already?" He suggested jokingly.

"Never!" Darkwing called back. "It's the first hour, Launchpad! One case alone would never tire me out!"

Even with that clear response on how he felt, the hero continued to stay sitting far below, instead of next to him in their ship. Did Drake want the rope ladder, or... Launchpad realized another option.

"....Are you hurt?" He asked.

There was no answer.

Oh...

"I'll be right down." Launchpad said, pulling away to find a place to land the Thundercrack nearby.

Darkwing watched him go, and then sighed.

It's silent for a while, until he hears approaching footsteps.

"Where are you hurt?" Launchpad asked when he was close enough. He kneeled down to check over Darkwing. There was nothing apparent on the surface... or a verbal answer. "DW--" Launchpad started.

Darkwing vaguely gestured down, frowning heavily.

"Your legs?" Launchpad asked.

"...Just one." He corrected, pointing out the one that he landed on.

"Alright..." Launchpad said, giving a close look at it. No blood, the fabric wasn't torn and, well there wasn't any bones sticking out...

"So... does this call for the emergency room visit, or do you want to go home?" Launchpad asked carefully.

Terrible options. He didn't want either one. The night hadn't even truly started, Either way, there would be undefended hours. Crooked creeps on the prowl...

Drake seethed.

"...Or we can head back to the Tower," LP offered. "Ice, elevation. We'll be back out before you know it."

Darkwing nodded, though still begrudgingly. He guessed that sounded better...

"C'mon," Launchpad encouraged, standing back up. He held out a hand to help him up.

Darkwing looked at him, feeling upset. He shook his head. "I can't... even walk, Launchpad." He muttered, looking aside. "I've tried."

"I'll carry you!" Launchpad assured him. He stepped to the side and knelt again, arm outstretched toward him.

Darkwing glanced up and nodded. "Okay." He said, leaning forward.

One of Launchpad's arms slipped behind behind his back, and one under his knees. He picked Darkwing up carefully, avoiding too much movement. DW wrapped his arms around Launchpad's neck. He winced slightly, and shifted up in his pilot's arms as best he could.

"Are you good?" Launchpad said.

"It stings a bit, but it's because of my leg itself." Drake said. He scoffed at himself. "What a disgrace."

"I parked this way, " Launchpad said, starting to walk down the way he came from. "It's not a problem at all, DW."

"The problem is I shouldn't have even messed up, Launchpad." Darkwing grumbled at him. That opened the floodgate of his complaints. "That thug could have gotten away because I couldn't even watch where I was going. And now! Who knows which villain is going to pop up with their vile schemes while I'm lounging around and doing nothing! Just imagine what can--!"

"Hey," Launchpad said suddenly, interrupting Darkwing's ranting. Drake blinked at him, and met his warm gaze.

"It's okay." He told him gently, smiling at him.

Darkwing closed his mouth. He still felt unconvinced... but he knew Launchpad meant that.

[cherubcow]

“Invincible”, Season 1 (2021) Review

Somehow both very cool and very fucking stupid :D

About Created and written primarily by Robert Kirkman (principle writer for The Walking Dead comic and TV show), this Young Adult cartoon basically synthesizes a number of comic book characters (e.g., Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Hellboy, Wonder Woman, Gambit) and tries to balance their heroism with cynical twists and dark realities. It's an exercise like Brightburn (2019) in that it mirrors existing comic writing all too closely in order to make violent twists. The cool stuff arrives pretty much immediately. You can tell right away that the physics have some level of realism, and it quickly gets serious because of this. The easy comparison would be to The Boys (also by Amazon, also about violent heroes, and also very well-produced). So, if you like The Boys (2019–), you'll probably like Invincible only a little less.

(( Some spoilers but nothing too specific ))

Wrong Focus But, the stupid stuff comes from the same error that the Kick-Ass movie (2010) made: it focuses on the wrong person(s). In Kick-Ass, the error was focusing on.. well.. "Kick-Ass", an irredeemable loser and waste of screen time. Invincible makes the same mistake, focusing on.. well.. "Invincible", a (so far) irredeemable loser and waste of screen time. So, despite its virtues, this show cannot escape that it made the decision to go for the Young Adult viewing demographic. It reminds me of Alita: Battle Angel (2019) in that way too: some very cool adult concepts ruined by the dramatic devices of unrepentant teenage stupidity and irrelevance. I didn't even like that stuff when I was a teenager, though Jordan Catalano gets a pass.

Main Cast and Characters The supporting characters were also very stupid. The most annoying was definitely Amber Bennett (voiced by the otherwise cool Zazie Beetz from Deadpool 2 (2018) and Joker (2019)), 

who is supposed to be attractive somehow to Mark Grayson ("Invincible", voiced by Steven Yeun, who played Glenn on The Walking Dead) 

despite the fact that she constantly judges him, fails to understand him, often fails to give him any kind of benefit of the doubt, and continues to scowl at him and be hurtful towards him even when she has information that should change her outlook towards him. And because she is part of the love triangle shared between herself, Invincible/Mark, and "Atom Eve"/Samantha (voiced by the awesome Gillian Jacobs from Community (2009–2014)), 

audiences simply have to bear with it that Amber's annoying character will be present and wasting time until Mark can realize that Amber is in fact toxic and that Eve actually understands him and can improve him in more positive directions. That love triangle should have been a 20-minute distraction, but I'm guessing that it will eat up a season or two more, especially if the writers become cowardly and fail to change things for fear of messing up a perceived "winning" formula. In my ideal story line, they would skip ahead 10 years, drop the teen drama, the love triangle, and the stupid jokes and have Invincible and Eve paired in defense of Earth, with the main tension being from their worry that the other would be horribly gored in front of them during lethal fights against cosmic enemies ;)

Aside, I am aware of Amber’s motivation for being a bad person, I just think her justification is not based in understanding, empathy, and a regard for the gravity of Invincible’s situation. In a strict political sense, Invincible should not commit a lie of omission by keeping her in the dark about his identity — even if for the “noble lie” reason of protecting her — but in a real sense, he is a fucking teenager who just developed his super powers. For her to pretend that he should reveal his entire identity to her — a potentially transformative and even dangerous decision — after a few months of teenage romance paints an absurd portrait of her mind. It does, however, align her with Omni-Man, because where Omni-Man forces Invincible to become an adult in the fighting sense (pushing with full force early on), Amber forces Invincible to become an emotional adult by getting him to understand that toxic people such as herself need to be given boundaries — and he needs to learn to clearly delineate and communicate his real desires. By knowing that he does not want Amber, people who regiment his free time, or people who do not suit him, for instance, he can realize why Eve was an obvious decision: Eve understands, can make time when they have time, and will let him find his decisions. Part of a coming-of-age story tends to be realizing what one actually wants, and Invincible’s hesitation in telling Amber his identity shows that he does not truly want her. This separates Invincible from, say, Spider-Man, who avoided telling Mary Jane his identity not because he did not want her but because he wanted at all costs to protect her.

The next most annoying character has to be Debbie Grayson (voiced by TV-cancer Sandra Oh and who luckily was not animated to look like the real Sandra Oh and who should have been voiced instead by Bobby Lee due to Lee's successful MadTV parody of Sandra Oh). 

Debbie basically fills the role of Skyler in Breaking Bad, except that Debbie's character tends to be slightly more understanding before her inevitable and toxic Skyler-resentment and undermining behavior. Despite having an 8-episode arc of change, Debbie's character flips too quickly and lacks the empathy and Omni-Man motive-justifying that would make her interesting (the comic's development may vary). For instance, if she refused to believe that Omni-Man meant his own words, that would make her empathetic and perhaps virtuous even if misled, but instead she dropped their "20 years" of understanding after viewing Omni-Man in action, which makes her appear shallow, easily manipulated, and unsympathetic. That was a definite "Young Adult" genre move because it shows immaturity by the writers to break apart a bond of 20 years so quickly. Mediocre teens might accept such a fissure because their lives have not yet seen or may not comprehend that level of time, but adults know that even long-standing and problematic relationships (which, beyond the lie, Omni-Man's and Debbie's was not shown to be) take a lot of time to break — even with lies exposed.

Omni-Man The biggest show strength for me was of course Omni-Man, who in a success of casting was voiced by J.K. Simmons in a kind of reprisal of Simmons' role as Fletcher from Whiplash (2014). 

The Fletcher/Omni-Man parallel shows through their being incredibly harsh but extremely disciplined and principled, forcing people to become beyond even their own ideal selves (this via Omni-Man's tough-love teaching of Invincible — comically, Omni-Man was actually psychologically easier on Invincible than Fletcher was on Whiplash's Andrew character). Despite the show's attempts to villainize Omni-Man, he, like Fletcher and also like Breaking Bad's Walter White, becomes progressively more awesome, eventually representing a Spartan will, an unconquerable drive, and a realistic and martial understanding of a hero's role.

To the show's credit, while it wrote Omni-Man to be outright genocidal and from a culture of eugenicists (again, Spartan), they could not help but admire him and his "violence" and "naked force" (for a Starship Troopers reference), giving him a path to redemption. That redemption comes in part because — despite the show's attempt to be often realistic and violent — its decision to be directed at young adults via dumb jokes, petty relationship drama, the characters’ reckless lack of anonymity and security in their neighborhood (loudly taking off and landing right at the doorstep), and light indy music also made the portrayed violence far less literal. With a less literal violence, the real statement becomes not that Omni-Man really did kill so many people (though he certainly did kill those people within the show's plot) but that he was symbolically capable of terrible violence but could be reformed for good. That's the shortcoming with putting violence under demographic limitations. If it's a PG-13 Godzilla knocking down cities, the deaths in the many fallen skyscrapers don't matter so much (the audience will even forgive Godzilla for mass death if it happens mostly in removed spectacle), whereas if it's Cormac McCarthy envisioning a very realistic fiction, every death rides the edge of true trauma.

By showing light between the real and the symbolic, it is much easier to identify and agree with Omni-Man. For instance, when Robot (voiced by Zachary Quinto of Heroes and the newer Star Trek movies) 

shows too much empathy for the revealed weakness of "Monster Girl" (voiced by Grey Griffin), the audience may have thought, "Pathetic," even before Omni-Man himself said it. And this because Omni-Man knows that true and powerful enemies (including himself) will not hesitate to use ultra-violence against these avenues of weakness. "Invincible" can make his Spider-Man quips while in lethal battles, but he does so while riding the edge of death — something that Omni-Man has to teach Invincible by riding him to the brink of his own.

Other Cast/Characters and Amazon's Hidden Budget It was impressive how many big-name actors were thrown into this — a true hemorrhage of producer funding. Amazon has so far hidden the budget numbers, perhaps because they don't want people to know that the show (like many of its shows) represents a kind of loss-leader to jump-start its entertainment brand.

Aside from those already mentioned, the show borrows a number of actors from The Walking Dead (WD), including.. • Chad L. Coleman ("Martian Man"; "Tyreese" on WD),

• Khary Payton ("Black Samson"; "Ezekiel" on WD),

• Ross Marquand (several characters; "Aaron" on WD)

• Lauren Cohan ("War Woman"; "Maggie" on WD)

• Michael Cudlitz ("Red Rush"; "Abraham" on WD)

• Lennie James ("Darkwing"; "Morgan" on WD)

• Sonequa Martin-Green ("Green Ghost"; "Sasha" on WD) 

There were also connections to Rick and Morty and Community, not just with Gillian Jacobs but also with... • Justin Roiland ("Doug Cheston"), who voices both Rick and Morty in Rick and Morty,

• Jason Mantzoukas ("Rex"),

• Walton Goggins ("Cecil"),

• Chris Diamantopoulos (several characters),

• Clancy Brown ("Damien Darkblood"),

• Kevin Michael Richardson ("Mauler Twins"), and

• Ryan Ridley (writing)

That's a lot of overlap. They even had Michael Dorn from Star Trek: TNG (1987–1994) (there he played Worf) and Reginald VelJohnson from Family Matters (1989–1998) and Die Hard (1988), and even Mark Hamill. Pretty much everyone in the voice cast was significant and known. Maybe Amazon got a discount for COVID since the actors could all do voice-work from home? ;)

Overall Bad that it was for the Young Adult target demo but good for the infrequent adult themes and ultra-violence. Very high production value and a good watch for those who like dark superhero stories. I have heard that the comic gets progressively darker, which fits for Robert Kirkman, so it will likely be worth keeping up with this show.

[moonstone27ls]

Ducktales finale spoilers

You’ve been warneddddddddd

Warning

Warning you againnnn

Sooo Ducktales will be ending soon my thoughts? Not as sad as when compared to Rise of the TMNT, Venture Bros, Brooklyn 99 (though it had a good run considering), Drunk History, Dark Crystal Age of Resistance. Though there are rumors Darkwing Duck is gonna be rebooted.... uhh maybe excited? I'd say maybe becauseeeee again its on a streaming service... and no for anyone's future question don't have Disney+ and have no intention of getting it why? Cause I'm broke/on a budget and I can't buy every stupid streaming service for the sake of a few shows.

But I'm getting off topic the show in general... sorta sad but sorta not. I'll be honest some eps of Ducktales in the last season didn't fit well with me. Some felt uhh very cliche/or readable, some felt kid dumb (but its a kids show so you're gonna get a few of those more than once), some felt like they were uhh if I had to compare like when you'd watch Adventure Time and you'd be "WTF was that one for". I wouldn't say dark you're just "that one felt random". Sometimes thats not bad but heh depends on the taste.

There are a few things disappointed we didn't get to see one Donald & Della's ACTUAL parents interacting with their children, GRANDCHILDREN. Don't get me wrong their interactions with Scrooge was nice but we barely got one ep with family that WASN'T him. You'd think given what dangerous work they were involved with we'd see a flashback or actual talk of their parents talking to them. Especially with Della being a single mother oO. Kinda feel it slightly unrealistic that they'd just sit and do nothing (and no there's no sign they're dead so they should be around) when their daughter disappeared into space. I mean maybe it'd been nice to see a few eps of past Donald getting advice from his mother Hortense how to raise the triplets. Heck would have like to see Hortense & Matilda's relationship.

Second the triplets father would had been nice oO. Yes he does have a father. All these fan ships but no one actually wondering "hey who's the boys father?".

  Third would had been nice to see more of Violet's family life. I mean whats the point of giving her "dads" if they never have a role beyond background character. Heck would had been nice to see a day of Violet and Lena's life with their fathers. Yes probably to the viewers it probably would had been boring but whatever 8B.

Four uhh I dunno explore space more? Maybe actually see some of Moon's home. I'll be honest that episode of "Moonlander on Earth" ep always bugged me. While I could believe some of the moon aliens wanted to stay on earth. I'm not convinced an entire planet thought Earth was so amazing they'd just stay there forever. People are fickle things, I can believe some wanted to stay like a vacation. But I feel at some point some, like Penny wanted to just go home. And I always found it... disturbing that no one attempted to really listen (no I don't count Webby cause that was written more of an experience lesson than "oh I miss home"). I mean the McDucks have all the money in the world, thats how Scrooge spent almost all his fortune finding Della. I'm just not convinced Scrooge and them thought "Hey we got extra rockets if they wanna go home we'll let them". No it was "oh they'll never get home, lets not bothering asking or giving them those extra resources. I think the show MISSED a good opportunity to let Penny go home (as well as others). And since Fenton or Gyro are often considered so smart they couldn't make a special teleport device JUST for them or ways to keep communicating with the moon. Thus meaning they could have explored space. And while some might argue "yes we needed Penny for the finale" (minor spoiler). She didn't DO anything she and Goldie were mostly used for cameo purposes. Sooo wasted use there.

Hmm anything else....  would have LIKED to seen more eps with Gandra/Fenton but hey if that Darkwing Duck spinoff is a thing maybeeee Gizmoduck will make special appearances and Gandra/Fenton can double date with Morgana & Drake(yes I wanted her to make an appearance I liked her goth look). Uhhh I don't think we ever got a Selene & Della interaction. (So far no eps were really... well friendship stuff. I mean I got a small fraction (if that) with Gods on the Block ep but it was near the literal END)

Also wish we could had more from the old show cameos Kit/Molly, Rescue Rangers, Goofy... pft plus I'll be honest before the show ended would had loved an actual cameo of Goofy, Mickey & Donald just alll together. Pfttt omg I would had loved a Max & Roxanne cameo date/wedding (yes I shipped them).  Haha more interactions would had been fun. And while I enjoyed the Talespin sorta crossover... could had more (and yes sorta ship Kit/Della. heh sorta more of a crackship haha). And lets be honest that Molly cameo was wasted potential. I mean would had been cool to see Baloo & Becky. Though I understand to a degree why we didn't. At least with Baloo.  But ahh well what can you do.

  And same with Daisy and Donald buttttt gonna take some of the finale as something. I'm just gonna say it left enough for my imagination to think "they're having a happily ever after soon". Uhh another minor spoiler with Ludwig revealed not to be dead (which I'm glad)... just disappointed he wasn't in the credits or given more interactions with Scrooge. Yeah I know they weren't BEST friends or anything but I dunno I do associate them as friends.

Anything else... uhhh would had been nice to see more of Boyd and Doofus family moments too. I mean I dunno consideringgggg that life probably was better for Doofus' parents now that they had an ACTUAL loving child. Be nice to have seen more scenes. I mean heck that last ep with Doofus... uhh jumping? I assume it meant Doofus had closure and accepted his fate? So I dunno would had been good to see him and Boyd bond more. Heck I'd like to have seen his parents' telling Gyro in finale (yes minor spoiler) take care of "our" son.

Nowww onto the finale gonna put spoilers soo warning here.... as for the finale it was... good. I'm not gonna say "Oh it was the best everrrrrrrr". Nah it was pretty good given their budget or whatever. Yeah some felt rushed and all those cameos while I appreciate the thought felt wasted potential. I mean I get why budget/timing etc. Just saying you know could had some Goldie/Scrooge moments, more Lena & Violet, Webby friendship stuff. I mean heck when they were all "released" (and judging by that cube system) there was a lot we don't really see where they go or how the Ducktales group got everyone where they originally belonged.

What did I think of Webby's so called surprise... uhh mixed. Bigger picture wise kinda explained that need to be so clingy. To a degree I sorta agree with the split fans I like it and I don't like it. But I get it the writers NEEDED something for shock value cause lets face it they ran everything else. I say a part of me didn't like it cause I was kinda hoping this version would show us Webby's real parents. And I'm not fully convinced that photo was just a fake or some random relatives Beakley took to shut her up. 

I think she sounded genuine when she said "I missed a lot". I admit when the whole "oh she's made from FOWL" was becoming obvious. I thought Beakley was subtly hinting that her daughter made Webby. I dunno could see that happening seeing that this whole ep was hinting at adults who did NOT think of their actions effects (yeap Scrooge, Della's choice to go on that rocket, Bradford's granny traumatizing the dummy), I thought "Ohh sooo she felt neglect and rebelled or fell for the enemy". But anyways yeah I still think Beakley probably DID have a daughter. Where is she? I dunno, thats kinda the whole point. Either she died or like Donald did with Scrooge, broke away from her family. I really believe whatever the reason, her daughter's gone from her life and Beakley deeply regrets she wasn't a more attentive mother. She probably to a degree saw Webby as her second chance to do better by her.

Hmmm lets see anything else.... as dark as it was with what Bradford did... not really shocked. And while he was obviously a villain I think his background did prove a point. But I could be thinking of Dean Venture and Dr Venture's childhood. Not every kid is built or for that matter wants an adventure life. Bradford was a product of his well intentional but neglectful family. Had the triplets or Donald not wanted this life that could had been them. Thankfully it wasn't 8B.

I admit the part with the villians at the end was quiet surprising. Not because they turned him into a bird pft. But because technically they saved Scrooge but heh I get it, chalk it up to either "they don't like to be used" or "Bradford was so terrible he was beneath even their level". Just somewhat made me wish Magica could have found Poe or something (I liked his design and voice actor). 

 And super glad we didn't really lose a lot of villains. I dunno I wanted Phantom Blot & Pepper to escape, fight another day stuff. And I kinda think to a degree thats why we saw that dumbed-down clone of Bradford. He's gone but that clone could get "smarted" up to stir more trouble 8B. Maybe I dunno.

Heh but all in all I enjoyed this finale. Its was wayyyy better than Star and Tangled's finale, no flippin' drama :P. I mean I suppose you could call Donald & Daisy leaving drama? but no not really cause literally none of this bothered me. The credits kinda gave me that nostalgia of how this show got so much attention. So while it was rushed maybe and it had its flaws. All in all it kept up with the heart. Soo I enjoyed the credits a lot good way to say goodbye

(just putting that gif there cause I liked it 8B)

Anything else....KEITH FREAKING DAVID, another reason to give this finale a point best flipping part I’m just sad I have no gif to use XD

[ducktales-wco-oo]

✩ { @gamblealife } ✩ - Continued from ★

{ ☆ } It’s no surprise when the other male mutters an irritated response, as well as performs a (futile) attempt to escape the unfortunate situation they happen to be in. Through NO fault of Fent- Gizmoduck’s. That much, the hero is certain of! Or mostly certain... Partially... Well, he was only trying to help. The least Darkwing could do is show a shred of gratefulness. It’s the thought that counts, after all. Something that Gizmoduck can’t help but point out to the cranky caped-crusader. “Well... Sorry for trying to help out a fellow defender of justice! From what I saw, those dastardly fiends had you right where they wanted.” He huffily responds, fervently wishing that he could cross his arms, “Why, a few more minutes and I bet that you’d be dangling here all by yourself.” Head averts with a soft humpf, voice growing quieter (and gaining a hint of sulkiness) “You could at least appreciate having a bit of company...”

“Hmm?” A curious hum slips out, visor raising to mimic an arched brow as he looks down at the retreating henchman... Well, that’s just rude. Normally, the robotic-hero would break out into a lecture about the virtues of politeness. Gizmoduck tries to be a shining example to ALL, regardless of how far-gone a person might be. But since he is a bit miffed at the hero who was flippantly flipped-off, he decides to let it slide... Hey, nobody’s perfect.

“Oh, so now you suddenly want my help...” Gizmoduck can’t help but pipe up when asked about his ‘plan’. Although his tone is more playful banter than actual annoyance, a teasing (and amused) smile adorning his beak as he brings his gaze back to rest on the masked mallard. True, he might be frustrated with the man’s behavior (would it kill him to look on the bright side every now and then?) but he figures Darkwing has been punished enough. What with being uncomfortably suspended from the ceiling and blatantly disrespected by a no-good criminal... Darkwing Duck doesn’t need any more bitterness thrown his way. 

Sass, on the other hand... is a gentler form of reprimanding (and quite a bit more FUN) that Gizmoduck still figures Darkwing is due. “What’s the matter, Wingy?~” That’s for helmet-for-brains. “Can’t get yourself out of this one on your own? I thought the Great Darkwing Duck likes to fly solo? Hmmmmm?~” Body is swung to move closer to Darkwing, shoulder giving the duck a playful nudge and head tilting cheekily as he lets out that teasing hum. Never mind the fact that the close proximity causes Fen- Gimoduck’s cheeks to grow warm; milky feathers becoming noticeably dusted with a pale pink hue. It’s simply hot in his metal armor, all bundled up in the surprisingly-strong bonds the villain had trapped him in... That’s all.

Really, really (although, kind of frustrating at times) hot. { ☆ }

[toonspooks]

Sleepover

A Darkwing Duck one shot, because I love the kiddos

@pharaoh-ink here she is

“Gosalyn, my parents say I can’t spend the night.” Honker said sitting on the edge of his friend’s bed. His stomach felt tight and he had a lump in his throat. He had been dreading this. Gosalyn was gathering up her pillows and covers for the fort they were building in front of the TV downstairs.

“What?! Why?! We have been planing this movie marathon since last week! Why not? Some dumb, impromptu family-bonding-game night?!” She demanded.

Honker stood up and turned his back to her looking down at his feet.

“They say we are getting too old for sleepovers.” He answered.

“What?! That doesn’t make any sense! Tank gets to spend the night over at his friends’ house whenever he wants!” She pressed, throwing down the armful of pillows.

“All of Tank’s friends are other boys.” Honker said, still looking down. His face had begun turning pink.

“Oh,” Gosalyn considered this for a moment. “It’s still not fair!”

“I know.” Honker Pouted.

“This sucks! This sucks out loud!” She was fuming now.

“I have to be home at nine.”

“Nine?! Its six-thirty already! We won’t even get to ‘Terror of the Tera-Firmians III’!”

“I’m sorry.”

Gosalyn was now angrily pacing the floor. She was furious. She had been so excited about this. She had already given a list of the films she intended to watch to her father, as he needed to pre-approve the movies and their ratings beforehand as Gosalyn had rather “mature” taste in cinema. She was elated to see that, for the first time, none of the candidates were disqualified. She liked to imagine that her father was finally beginning to see her less as a baby and trust her judgement for once.

But now this! You think you have one adult under control and two more start acting out!

“Those stinking Mudflefoots! Ah.. no offense Honk-man.”

“None taken.”

“Its just so…so…stupid!” She stamped her foot, “What do they think…? I mean what could they possibly imagine? I mean it’s us! Ya know? Us!”

Honker face was even more flushed than before. He was just about as uncomfortable as he thought he would be. Not that Gosalyn noticed. When she got worked up like this all her attention was devoted to the subject of her wrath.

After a moment of silence, Gosalyn made a decision.

“I’m going to tell my dad!” She started furiously towards the door.

“No! Gosalyn!” He grabbed at her wrist.

“Come on Honker!” She continued on. “He might be able to talk some sense into your birdbrain parents!”

“Oh geez,” he sighed. This is exactly what he didn’t want to happen, but he knew it was no use fighting her and allowed himself to be pulled downstairs.

Drake and Launchpad were busy in the kitchen working on fulfilling all of Gosalyn’s movie night snack requests. Drake furiously pulling items from the pantry while Launching scrambled to catch them.

“….Popcorn, kettle corn, gummy bears, gummy worms, cola, diet cola, and baby carrots!” Drake listed off.

“Baby carrots?” Launchpad asked peering over the stack of snacks in his arms.

“A father can only try to get his girl to eat her veggies Launchpad.” Drake sighed. “A father can only try.”

“Yep, I hear you D.W. Its almost dang near impossible to get Gos to do anything she doesn’t want to do.” Launchpad chuckled. “Almost as difficult to keep her from doing some thing she wants to.”

Just then the two kids burst through the kitchen door. Gosalyn still dragging Honker.

“Dad! You will never believe what th-” Gosalyn started before colliding with Launchpad and sending all the snacks crashing to the floor.

“Gosalyn! How many times do I have to tell you-” Drake started.

“Yeah yeah yeah I’m sorry Dad, but listen,” she interrupted, “ Honkers parents said he can’t spend the night tonight! It a crime!!”

“Ha! I would hardly call that a crime,” Her father chuckled. “Megavolt shorting out the entire cities’ power just as I was about to beat my personal record on Whiffle Boy, now that was a crime.”

“But Dad they have the stupidest reason in the whole world!!”

“The Muddlefoots? Have stupid reasoning? I can’t say I’m shocked. Oh…Uhh.. No offense Honker.” Drake apologized.

“None taken, sir.”

“So no movie marathon?” Launchpad asked disappointedly.

“If your upset about that just wait until you hear why not!!” Gosalyn started.

“Gosalyn, p-p-please-” Honker tried to interject. This was so embarrassing. Exactly what he was dreading.

“They say we are too old for sleepovers now! Just because Honker is a boy and I’m not!” She explained angrily.

The room went silent for a moment. Drake seemed taken a back. Gosalyn was surprised when he didn’t react the way she imagined. Honker and Launchpad exchanged uncomfortable glances. The room was tense for a few seconds while Drake processed this.

“Well, Gos, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think the Muddlefoots might be right.”

“What?!?”

Launchpad quickly decided that this was strictly a daddy-daughter affair and began to gather up the snacks on the floor and putting them in the kitchen counter.

“Hey, Honk-man, why don’t you and me go work on that fort, huh?” He nudged Honker towards the living room.

“Uh…s-sure.” Honker agreed. He was slightly confused, but still incredibly thankful to get out of there.

Once the two cleared the kitchen doorway, Gosalyn turned to her father, intensely staring him down.

“What do you mean?! What is wrong with you? Since when have you ever agreed with anything the Mudddlefoots have to say?!” She grilled him.

“Gosalyn…sit down.I…I just think maybe it’s true. Maybe you are a little to old to have sleepovers with a boy now.” He offered.

“I’m not having a sleepover with a boy!! I’m having a sleepover with Honker!” She argued leaning over at him from the other side of the kitchen table.

“I know he is your best friend, and he is a great kid, but, things change as you get older.”

“But nothing has changed!! What’s the difference between having him spend the night tonight than it was last month?”

“Last month?”

“Last month I spent the night at the Muddlefoots’ for Honkers birthday.”

“Honker’s Birthday? Well, Gos, that’s just the thing. The two of you are growing up. As much as I hate to think about it, especially since it means I’m getting older, which you never really expect, then suddenly you’ve got a kid and a mortgage and it sounds like your walking on bubble wrap when you get out of bed -”

“Dad.”

“Right. Right.” He straightened up. “Anyway, Gos. You know that you and Honker are growing up and a lot of things change.”

“I just don’t understand!” She pressed her hands to the side of her head.

“I mean we could get out the book again..” he offered nervously.

The book he was referring to was “A Bright Bird’s Guide to Her Body and Boys”. A book recommended to Drake by one of Gosalyn’s teachers. Naturally, it was a bit outdated and the illustrations weren’t the most accurate, but he didn’t exactly know where else to look for help. Being a single father of a had its challenges. They had attempted to flip through the book together and it was as horrendously uncomfortable as one could imagine. They got about a third of the way through before it became almost unbearable for the both of the them and Gosalyn assured him that she could finish the book on her own. Drake agreed, relived to be temporarily free from the oppressive awkwardness, but promised her that he would always be there to answer any questions she had (secretly praying she never had any).

“No!!!” She exclaimed fearfully. “Uh… I mean, no, Dad, that’s not necessary.”

“Then what is it you don’t understand?” He asked.

“Why things like this have to change at all. He’s still Honker and I’m still Gosalyn and we are still best friends. That hasn’t changed and….I don’t think it will…or I hope it doesn’t.” She said, her eyes down cast.

“Oh Honey, that’s not what’s changing here! You and Honker can still be best friends, but the rules have to change now that your older.” He reached over the table to try to touch her shoulder, but she shrugged him off.

“What rules?” She grumbled.

“Well…social rules.” He answered.

“Social rules?! Since when have you, the man who dresses up on a mask and cap, flys around in a plane shaped like his own head, and frequently gives himself dramatic introductions to people who obviously know who he is, care about social rules?!” She demanded.

“When you have a crime fighting alter ego, you can get away with pushing what is socially acceptable.”

“But… but…. I mean….” she stammered. “What do you think could happen? Do you really not trust me and Honker? That’s so sick, Dad! Gross times a thousand!!!” She yelled.

“It’s not that Gos-” he tried to interject.

“And he lives right next door! And Launchpad would be with us, and that is almost like real adult supervision!”

“Gos, honey, I know all that. And it’s not that I don’t I don’t trust you or Honker. He is a great kid and I’m glad you have such a good friend in him. Honestly, I don’t really have a problem with him staying the night-”

“So you’ll go over to the Muddlefoots’ and set them straight?” She pleaded.

“No, Gos. Just because we don’t agree with certain social expectations doesn’t mean we don’t respect when others follow them.”

“Even when it’s the Muddlefoots?”

“Yes,” Drake sighed. “Even when it’s the Muddlefoots.”

“Come on then.” He said getting up from the table. “Let’s not waste anymore of the time you too do have for your movie night.”

The father and daughter walked to the living room only to find it empty. Even the fort was gone.

“Where did they-” Drake began to ask, but just then Launchpad stuck his head through the front door.

“Heya Gos! Come check this out me and Honker might have just found ourselves a loophole!” He chimed.

“Launchpad what’s going on?” Drake asked spuriously, with a raised brow.

“Just come on out and see!”

Gosalyn sprinted out the door as fast as she could and raced to Honker who was standing at the edge on the lawn.

“What is it, Honker?! Figure out how to change your parents’ minds?!” She asked, hands tight on his shoulders.

“No, but I did figure out a compromise.” He answered grinning.

“What?”

He turned her around. In her excitement she had not even notice it as she ran past. There was a big white screen set up right down the middle of the two neighboring lawns. Set on top of a stack of old phone books was a projector and beside that Honker’s computer, extension cords ran from the devices to the Mallards’ garage. Pillows and blankets from the previous living room fort were spread out over a tarp with a distinct red line marked down the middle.

Gosalyn stood shocked for a moment. She need a minute to process what she was seeing.

“Is that…”

“The projector and screen from my dads viewing party for the premiere of the Pelican’s Island reboot.” He beamed.

“But..”

Launchpad stepped over to them and patted Honker on the back. “Well we figured you two aren’t breaking any rules if you are camping out in your own yards!”

“Not technically spending the night at each other’s houses.” Honker added. “She that red line down the middle of the tarp? That is the exact property line between the two lawns. I found the neighborhood’s codes online. Also, by the way, your grass in an inch above regulation Mr. Mallard.”

“Keen gear!! You guys this is so awesome!!! But is this okay? Dad?” She turned to her father for permission.

“Well I don’t see anything wrong with two young people who happen to be camping out on the same night and just happen to live next door to each other and just happen to want to watch the same movies.” He smiled.

“What about your parents Honker? Have you run it by them? Are they okay with this?” Gosalyn asked her friend.

“Well it took some bargaining, I have to weed mom’s garden tomorrow and prune the roses, and clean the grill.” He answered.

“And we promised some adult supervision!” Launchpad chuckled pointing his tumb to himself.

“Wow!! This is so great!! This is better than we saw the Powerline laser show at the planetarium!!” She hugged the two of them as tight as she could. “Come on Honker, let’s get this movie night rolling!”

While the two friends selected a film and got comfortable, Drake and Launchpad went back in to the kitchen to retrieve the kids’ snacks. Once they got into the house, Drake turned to his friend.

“Hey L.P, that was a real nice thing you did for Gos.”

“Aw, it was nothing! Besides, it was Honkers idea. He is such a smart kid, smarter than I ever was, or am probably.”

“Yeah,” Drake sighed. “I guess genius skips a generation.”

“I guess so!” Launchpad chuckled.

“So, you are sure you are fine with staying outside with them all night?”

“You kidding!? It’s gonna be great! I haven’t seen hardly any of these old monster movies since I was in middle school!” He assured Drake. “I just hope I don’t get any nightmares like I did back then!”

Outside Gosalyn and Honker were settling in as the beginning credits of their movie started. The sky was that perfect purple of dusk and the crickets were chirping. The two sat close, but far enough apart to were the red line in the tarp could be seen clearly. Gosalyn hugged a pillow and Honker had a blanket on his shoulders. Fireflies soon began blinking, and moths fluttered around the light of the projector, but they didn’t mind. They were getting older, and that was scary. Change always hurts even when it helps us, but tonight they weren’t worried. Tonight they were both confidante that they could handle any kind of change life threw at them. Even if they had to grow up it didn’t mean they had to grow apart.

[blatherin-blatherskite]

Merry christmas @atruedonaldist! I’m your secret santa!! I hope you like it, i wasn’t really sure what do write,so I just kinda went with some christmas fun stuff with the kids and Paperinik (since he’s your avatar)! It’s about 3,000 words long, so I hope you like to read! Merry Christmas!

The idea started with Dewey over hearing an argument between his uncle and the newest intern at the Money Bin. He had just left a conversation with the other kids in the mansion, a sort of secret meeting where they discussed what to get everyone for Christmas this year. Considering this was the first year they'd be together as a family, the kids had decided to go out of their way to make the day extra special. They'd decided to all come together to get gifts that would be perfect for all the adults in their lives – deciding to get Scrooge a new compass, Launchpad an aviator cap and goggles, and Mrs. Beakley an all-expenses paid trip to the spa (The boys were worried that this wouldn't be enough for the woman, but Webby whole-heartedly assured them that after they had moved in, her grandmother needed to take a day off.) This just left their Uncle Donald. Uncle Donald was a very simple duck, he didn't want much. He claimed all he needed was a roof over his head and his three boys and he'd be happy. In fact, he had purposely told them that he didn't want a present this year. That being said, the ducklings didn't want to leave him out of the festivities so they all decided to get him something anyway. As Webby so aptly put it, "That way it'll be more of a surprise!" Shortly after her astute statement, however, they found themselves stumped. After a thirty-minuet brainstorming session that resulted in nothing, they decided to split up and brainstorm on their own. That's how Dewey ended up outside the door to a storage room, in the perfect place to overhear an argument.

"Listen, Donald, with much do respect, Gizmoduck is the better hero!" Fenton sighed as he continued to shuffle about the room on a quest to find some spare part or another that Gyro needed. Dewey was stopped outside the door and he positioned himself to where he could see into the room but hopefully the other two ducks couldn't see him. Fenton was busying himself with lifting boxes and shuffling their insides while Donald had seemingly anointed himself to supervisor and was perched on top of a table.  

"How so? Paperinik has none of the toys Gizmoduck has and still wins." Donald defended passionately but Fenton just shrugged it off.  

"You make it sound like Paperinik is on the same level as Darkwing Duck. He can fly, can't he? He has super strength and super speed as well. He's not exactly unequipped."

"But he doesn't have metal body like Gizmoduck – he's way more likely to be injured!"

"Gizmoduck can get hurt too you know!" Fenton grunted, gripping something in a small box and tugging hard. "It's not like the suit is lined with goose feathers or anything." He pulled again and fell back on his bottom, item secured in his grasp. As he stood up and dusted himself off, he looked at Donald quizzically. "Why do you even care so much? Paperinik is such a low-key hero, I'm surprised you're so passionate about it." Donald entered a rare moment of quiet as he thought about how to respond.  

"I guess I just really admire the guy, you know."

"Ah. Well, I get that. The hero life seems pretty glamorous. Come on, help me find my way out of this labyrinth of a mansion. Gyro wants this piece quick. It's for some new toaster or something."

"Oh cool." Donald replied, sounding less than enthused, but he listened to the other duck anyway as he led him out, neither noticing Dewey crouched by the door, a huge grin spread across his face.

***

"Listen, I say we get him a pair of leather gloves so he can grip onto things better when he's fighting bad guys and flipping over bannisters!" Webby pitched enthusiastically, adding a few flying jump kicks for good measure, but Louie rolled his eyes at her.

"Webby we told you, No adventure things! Uncle Donald doesn't like that kind of stuff!" Webby frowned as she went back to crouching on the floor, trying to think. Then Louie chimed in.

"Hey, what about oven mitts? He loves to bake, right?"

"Louie, we got him oven gloves last year." Huey pointed out, but as Louie pointed out those had already been burned up. This caused Huey to point out that the incident that caused them to exist no more was when Uncle Donald officially gave up baking for good and the room was silenced once more.

"Hey guys!" Webby popped up again. "What about a light weight flash light slash baton!" There was a pause as Louie and Huey stared at the girl before she decided to continue. "What? Grandma says you can never go wrong with a flash light." There was another pause.

"We'll put that down as a maybe." Huey said as he whipped out his notebook and scribbled "Flashlight / Baton" underneath "Fruit Cake" and "A new sailor suit". The room had plunged into silence once more before suddenly Dewey bust in, screaming.

"GUYS I HAVE THE PERFECT IDEA!" Three pairs of eyes looked at the out of breath spectacle before them, waiting for the duckling to catch his breath before asking him what was his perfect idea. He didn't wait until he had caught his breath, however, and just jumped straight in.

"LISTENWENEEDTOHUNTDOWNPAPERINIKANDGETHISAUTOGRAPHITSTHEBESTIDEAEVE-"

"Dewey. Breathe." Huey approached his excited brother as Dewey gasped for breath. "Come on breathe with me. In and Out, In and Out." Once Huey got Dewey's breathing back to normal he let his brother continue.

"We need to hunt down Paperinik and get his signature! Uncle Donald would love it!"  

"Paperinik? Like the super hero?" Louie asked quizzically and Dewey nodded.

"Apparently Uncle Donald LOVES him! He's a huge fan! And Paperinik is so hard to find, an autograph would be SUPER rare and special."

"Okay, one flaw – you just said he was hard to find." Huey pointed out. "How are we going to find him?" This time it was Webby's turn to speak.

"Simple. We draw him out."

"What?" Both Huey and Louie said at the same time. Dewey smiled though. "I like where you're going with this! We can split into two teams – one to lure him out and one to corner him!"

"I wanna be on the team to lure him out!" Webby extatically cheered.  

"Same!" Louie seconded, and Huey shot him a wounded look. Louie responded with a shrug. "What? If we're doing this I might as well utilize my talents."

"But who said we were even doing this?" Huey asked. "Paperinik may be a hero, but he's still dangerous! If he thinks we're actually villains, he's not going to hold back!"

"Oh Hubert, my dear worrywart of a brother we'll corner him before he even gets a chance to hurt the other two!" Dewey swung an arm over Huey's unsuspecting shoulder and Huey went stiff.

"But what about the flashlight? I like that idea let's do that!" But it was too late, the other three had already started planning out their mission. Huey sighed and pulled in closer, knowing that someone had to be the brain of the mission and he just knew it was going to be him.

***

Donald sighed as he stood in an alley, clothed in his full Paperinik regalia. It was December 23rd, two days before Christmas, and some hoodlums had decided now was the perfect time to start causing chaos in his town. Normally the actions that were occurring were far below his hypothetical paygrade, but as there was no Gizmoduck to be seen and they really were starting to become a nuisance, he figured he'd step up and handle it. Call it misplaced Christmas spirit. He'd rather be at the mansion with his kids but his city needed him! And since his kids lived in that city, he could justify spending some time cleaning it up before Christmas. A crash to his left jolted him out of his mental dialogue as his attention was drawn to the metal trashcans to his left, now completely riddled with bb gun pellet dents and some rocks that were most likely slingshot over. He looked in the direction that the shots had come from and saw two shadows running down an ally across the street. Two crooks, minimal arsenal, and they escaped on foot? This would be a sinch.

***

The plan was fairly simple, Huey thought. A couple of days before Christmas start causing chaos around town. Minimal chaos, but chaos all the same, and hope for the best. After they got confirmation that Paperinik was on their trail, the two chaos makers would disband and lead Paperinik to an intersection that they found where they could corner him and (hopefully) not be murdered.

They all had walkie talkies on their person and they all wore disguises as to all blend in together. The first night he had to admit, he was excited. Optimistic even. That is until he and Dewey had to spend five hours in an alley doing nothing together. And another five hours the next day. And another five hours the next day. When it had gotten to be the 23rd, he'd almost told Dewey that they'd have to wrap up this little attempt – clearly they weren't threatening enough for Paperinik to appear – until for the first time in a week the walkie talkies crackled to life.

"We have a go for Paperinik!" Webby practically shouted over the walkie talkie.

"Or at least a guy vaguely dressed up like Paperinik who can also fly." Louie joked. Huey could visibly see Dewey light up as he flipped up his hood and grabbed his bag with his camera in it. He was ready. Huey took a couple of deep breathes before flipping his hood up as well and prepairing to run. He was, in a word, terrified. But this was for Uncle Donald. He'd do anything for Uncle Donald, especially after all Uncle Donald did for him.  

"Okay Huey and I are about to run. You guys still remember the plan?"

"Yep." Was Webby's one-word answer.

"Of course!" Louie laughed.

Huey and Dewey made eye contact then began to run, the adrenaline beginning to make Huey's fears fade. Maybe this would all work out.

"We're off! See you in five!"

Yeah, this was great.

***

As Donald flew above the alley way he was confused, suddenly it seemed the perps had doubled in size, as there were shadows darting all around the alleys. He didn't know which one had been the one to shoot the trash cans nor did he want to attack someone who wasn't a part of this – it'd be bad press. As he watched all the shadows dart in and out of alleys and run around buildings, he happened to catch one of the shadows drop something. As he flew in slightly closer he saw that the item was in the distinct shape of a slingshot. Bingo. That's the shadow he'd follow.

Now his intent wasn't to harm whomever was attacking Duckburg's trashcans in the dead of night as it wasn't really a crime. Whoever this perpetrator was seemed young and in need of a good scare to set them on the straight and narrow. As he sped up his flight he noticed the duck was short, almost duckling stature, and talking into a walkie talkie. He didn't have super hearing unfortunately, so he couldn't tell exactly what the duck was saying, but he assumed it was something along the lines of making a rendezvous. He sped up a little more and heard a distinctly feminine voice breathlessly but triumphantly state, "I'm almost there!" He figured now would be as good a time as any for a dramatic reveal.

"Are you now?" He deepened his voice and the duck twisted around, hand to her belt immediately to grab her slingshot that wasn't there, she squeaked as he drew closer, puffing his chest to seem bigger than he was. This kid was no more than just a kid. He didn't think he'd even have to haul her in judging by her size, he figured he could just give her a lecture and let her be on her way. He closed the gap between them quickly as she continued to try to walk backwards, head darting around trying to find an escape route. Before she knew it, however, Paperinik was in front of her.

'Wait, is that Webby?' Donald thought to himself as he stared at down at her, her eyes defiant as she began to talk.  

"Hi, Mr. Paperinik, I need a favor from you!"

"A favor from me?" He responded, almost forgetting to deepen his voice. This was just getting stranger.

"Yeah, I mean, If you're not to busy that is. You know with your holiday prep and such. Actually, do super heroes celebrate holidays? Or are you Jewish? Since Chanukah is already over, I guess that'd mean you'd be free to like fight crime and stuff. I mean -"

"Kid!" Paperinik interrupted the rambling girl quickly, knowing that if he'd let her keep talking she'd never stop. "How I celebrate the winter season is none of your concern. What I want to know is why you're out here instead of safe in bed."

"Well, Mr. Paperinik, that's what I'm trying to tell you. I need a favor." She paused for a moment studying his features before asking, "Do I know you? You seem very familiar. I guess if I did know you I couldn't know I know you, cause then I'd be a liability but still - "

"WEBBY!" A young male voice cut her off and Paperinik quickly looked around the girl to see something even more bizarre than Webby out at eleven. It was all three of his boys, who he knew he put to bed about four hours ago. Fortunately, before he had the chance to blow his cover, the three kids ran to their friend and surrounded her, Dewey in front.

"Don't hurt her!" He sternly told the hero standing before him, arms spread out to protect his friend. At this point Donald was near heart attack. Is this how his kids approached danger? What if he had been a villain with harmful intent? On one hand he was proud of his boys for protecting their friend, on the other he was going to have to have a long talk with Scrooge about what he was teaching the boys on their little "adventures".

"Dewey, don't worry, I don't think he's going to hurt me." Webby's voice assured her friend from behind him, and Dewey dropped his arms a bit. But only a bit.

"So, you're the mythical Paperinik, huh?" Louie chirped up from beside Webby. "You're kinda... short. You know, for a superhero." Paperinik turned red. He knew he'd raised these kids better than that. Huey seemed to blanch at Paperinik's rising temperature however and began to speak up.

"Um, Louie, rule 326 of the Junior Woodchuck handbook says "Angering potentially dangerous people can have potentially disastrous results – especially unknown or mysterious people."

"Ah Huey, lighten up. I can so read this guy." Louie waltzed past Dewey to stand directly in front of the hero and grinned. "You wouldn't hurt us right? We're just kids!"

"No, but I would tell your parents that you're all out way past your bed times. Then they might kill you." Paperinik stated with a sense of finality and all four ducklings stiffened at the thought of their prospective guardians discovering exactly where they were currently. With that Donald had felt he'd intimidated his kids enough and he turned to fly off, but before he could he heard Dewey shout after him.

"WAIT HOLD UP!" Paperinik turned.

"What?"

"We lured you out here to ask you a favor." Oh yeah. Webby did mention needing a favor. He proceeded to turn all the way around to face his kids and crossed his arms, trying to think of any favor they could need that they couldn't just ask him for at home.

"What do you want?"

"Could we please get your autograph?" Scilence.

"Wait what?" Paperinik was confused. "Why?"

"Well you see, our uncle is kinda a big fan." Huey explained before Dewey interrupted him.

"Our uncle is your biggest fan! He loves you!" Paperinik could barely restrain his laughter, If only they knew how big a "fan" their uncle really was.

"And so you want my autograph for your uncle."  

"Please?" Dewey pleaded while retrieving his pad and pen from his bag. "It's for Christmas. This is our first Christmas with our Great Uncle and our uncle and we really want to make it special for them."

"Yeah, your autograph would be perfect for him!" Louie added. As Paperinik stared at the faces of all of his kids he couldn't resist. He told them not to get him anything and they went out of their way to get him something they thought he'd love. Sure, they'd broken like a million rules but it was for him. He was touched.

"Sure, I'll sign something." The kids cheered as Dewey handed over his note pad for the avenger to sign. He quickly doodled something onto the pad and tossed it back to the group. They all were grinning like mad with success and he was grinning too, more at the bizarreness of the situation than anything.

"Now you all get home. You don't want your uncle to be mad at you, do you?" Paperinik told the group, cringing at the after-school special sound of what he just said, but the uncle with him absolutely meant it. The kids words scrambled over eachother in agreement and thanks before they took off down an alley back to their home. Then he took off back to their home as well, wondering if he should let them beat him back or not. Call it misplaced Christmas Spirit, but he did.

***

Two days later when Donald opened his present he feigned surprise and awe at his own signature. When asked where they got the signature, the kids stammered over themselves with excuses before settling on buying it off ebay, then when asked where they got the money for it they stammered some more. Liars, his kids were not. Still, he’d gotten a good laugh about it, and when they saw he was just messing with them they laughed it off too. And the reaction the kids had to being able to give gifts that everyone loved was honestly half the gift for him. For their first Christmas together, Donald thought they’d done pretty good.

[rebellingstagnationblog]

“Joy To The World” by Whitney Houston (Day 1 of 31)

This first fic is dedicated to @historian-in-pearls without whom, this wouldn’t exist. And to @leviprime who asked for the Goof family to interact with the Darkwing family.  

This takes place after “Living On A Prayer”

A smile still tugging at the corners of her beak, Gosalyn closed the front door behind her and walked out onto the porch, pulling her coat more securely around her. She breathed in the frigid air as she studied the splendor of the yard that stretched before her, colored lights and candy canes shining against the dark night.

When they’d first arrived here, Gosalyn had attempted to stifle her laughter at the sight of the yard decorations, but Launchpad and her father hadn’t been as successful at keeping their thoughts to themselves.

-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-

“Whoa,” Launchpad said as he shifted the car into park and killed the engine. “Those are some intense Christmas decorations.”

“He likes Christmas,” Gosalyn explained, her smile spreading as she studied the yard.

“No, no,” her father said, shaking his head. “I like Christmas. This is… another level.”

“He’s passionate,” Launchpad offered, glancing over at his friend.

Drake shrugged. “I was thinking more deranged, but you’re not wrong, LP.”

The house had been decorated with great care. A plastic Santa sat in his sleigh on the roof, plastic reindeer hooked up to the front. The Christmas lights were color coordinated with large colored bulbs lining the roof and white icicle lights cascading over the sides. The porch’s railing had garland wrapped around it, and the trees in the yard were decorated with colored string lights. The yard was outlined with plastic glowing candy canes and sitting in the middle was an inflatable snowman, waving with one hand and holding his top hat atop his head with the other. A larger than life wreath had been hung over the garage, white lights and colored bulbs sitting in the branches.

It was organized, clean, and adorable. This homeowner clearly loved the holiday and had spent a great deal of time and effort to put it all together.

“Please be nice to my boyfriend’s father,” Gosalyn said, opening the car door.

“Give me some credit,” Drake said as he opened the passenger door and climbed out. “I wasn’t going to say any of that to his face.”

“Dad,” Gosalyn warned.

The front door opened, revealing Max and his father, Goofy.  Gosalyn’s stomach did that flipping over itself thing it always did when she saw Max. He caught her eye and smiled, her stomach doing several somersaults in a row, which was new, but in a good way.

Goofy loped down the yard-turned-winter-wonderland, but about half way down, slid on some ice and slipped and slid all the way to their car. He ended up toppling down in front of Gosalyn, snow scattering everywhere. Goofy shook his head and glanced up, smiling. She crouched down and grabbed ahold of his arm, helping him stand.

“It sure is nice to finally meet ya,” Goofy said, giving her the biggest grin she’d ever seen on anyone ever.

Gosalyn smiled in return. “Same. Max talks about you all the time.”

Goofy’s eyes shone as they studied her face. “Yer even prettier than he said.”

Gosalyn smiled, heat rising in her cheeks. Desperate to get the attention off of her, she motioned back to her family. “This is Launchpad, a family friend.”

Goofy shook hands with Launchpad, both of them exchanging words of greeting.

Gosalyn then pointed to Drake. “And my father, Drake Mallard.”

Drake walked around the car and stepped onto the sidewalk, shaking Goofy’s hand. “Hello, Mr. … Goof was it?”

“How was your drive, Mr. Mallard?” Max asked, approaching the group. He nodded to Launchpad and Drake in greeting before wrapping an arm around Gosalyn.

“Long,” Drake said. With a look from Gosalyn, he added, “But fine.”

“Thanks fer comin’ out all this way,” Goofy said.

“I liked the drive,” Launchpad confessed. “I’ve never been to Spoonerville before.”

“What do you think so far?” Max asked.

“Seems quiet and peaceful.” Launchpad smiled. “I liked all the decorations that were up downtown.”

“Speakin’ of decorations,” Goofy said, motioning back to his house, “whaddya think?”

“It’s very, uh… festive,” Drake said.

As if on cue, one of the colored strands of lights from the roof fell, dangling off the edge and mixing with the white icicles.

“Oh, hold on,” Goofy said, picking his way up the driveway and disappearing into the garage. The door rolled open a moment later, Goofy carrying out a ladder and a staple gun.

“Want some help?” Launchpad asked, moving to do just that, but Drake placed a hand on his sidekick’s arm to halt his progress.

“Step aside, LP,” Drake said, walking up the driveway. “Christmas lights take an expert hand. Allow me,” he said to Goofy before scurrying up the ladder and atop the roof. He reached for the fallen light strand and brought it back up.

Goofy followed up the ladder, stretching to hand Drake the staple gun, but he missed a step and toppled sideways. He grabbed the Christmas lights before falling off the ladder completely, getting tangled in the colored strands as the ladder collapsed onto the lawn. Drake reeled backwards, trying to avoid the rogue power tool, and landed on his backside with the staple gun crashing beside him, sliding down and settling into the gutter.

Launchpad hurried over to the hectic scene, but Gosalyn and Max shook their heads smiling fondly at their fathers. Launchpad easily righted the ladder and reached up to get Goofy untangled. Once Goofy was free and back on his feet, Launchpad handed the fallen Christmas light strands to Drake, who had reclaimed the staple gun and was working on securing them better to the roof.

Gosalyn and Max, his arm still wrapped securely around her, wandered up the yard to join their families.

Everything back to rights, Drake descended the ladder as Launchpad held it in place and handed the staple gun back to Goofy.

“Yeh sure are an expert at hangin’ them Christmas lights,” Goofy said, studying the work. “Looks great!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Drake said, jumping down and brushing snow off the sleeves of his coat. “Christmas decorating isn’t for the feint of heart.”

The same light strand that had fallen before fell again.

Max snorted as Gosalyn turned to her boyfriend and asked, “You got any electrical tape?”

“Sure do,” Max said, taking the staple gun from his father and walking into the garage.

Gosalyn turned to the older generation of men. “Why don’t you all go inside? Max and I got this.”

“You sure?” Launchpad asked.

“I may be no expert,” Gosalyn said, glancing at her father who rolled his eyes, “but I think I can get that strand to stay on the house.”

“Well, holler if you need anythin’,” Goofy said, smiling as he opened the front door and ushered Drake and Launchpad inside.

Gosalyn and Max hadn’t needed help. The electrical tape had kept the lights from falling again and the two of them had been able to clean everything up with minimal fuss.

So how the kitchen had been completely covered in flour by the time they’d gotten inside was anyone’s guess. Goofy and Launchpad were equally as dirty as the kitchen, with smudges of flour on their faces and smeared over their clothes, but they were both wearing smiles. Drake was less messy, somehow, but looked resigned.

Gosalyn was just glad they were all getting along.

When Max had offered to have them all over for dinner, she’d been wary to see how her father would react to these new surroundings, but he seemed to relax more and more as the night went on. He kept an eye on Max and Gosalyn, but he seemed to like Goofy well enough, even if some of the clumsy accidents caused the crime fighter to sigh or roll his eyes.

Launchpad and Goofy, though, were already acting like long time friends, laughing at the same jokes and telling stories about their families, much to everyone’s chagrin. When Goofy had offered to show baby pictures of Max, Launchpad and Gosalyn had both shown interest while Max and Drake emphatically refused to see them.

Overall, it was a successful night.

-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-..-

The front door opened and Gosalyn glanced back to see Max slipping out onto the porch.

“Sorry about all that crazy,” Max said, walking over to her with that adorable lopsided smirk on his face.

Gosalyn forgot about the cold as she turned to face him, feeling heat rise in her cheeks as he came closer. “That is not crazy.”

Max’s cocked an eyebrow as he reached her.

“No, really,” Gosalyn insisted. “Villains trying to steal Christmas lights or grow their own mistletoe or replace a whole store with their own homemade toys, that’s crazy. You’re dad’s just a little clumsy.”

“A little?” Max asked.

Gosalyn smirked. “A lot clumsy. But he’s very sweet.”

He nodded. “I feel kind of weird talking about my dad so much. Shouldn’t we talk about something else?”

“Like…?” Gosalyn pressed.

“Like… how non-crazy and non-clumsy I am?”

Gosalyn rolled her eyes. “Now you’re fishing for compliments.”

“Fishing is under-appreciated.” Max took a step closer.

“Nothing that takes place outside is ever under-appreciated.” She smiled, his body heat already warming her with how close he was.

“It’s not so bad.” He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him.

Gosalyn tilted her head to one side. “There’s a reason people built homes. We aren’t supposed to live outside. It’s unnatural.”

“It’s called ‘nature’. What’s more natural?” His hand came up to caress her cheek.

“Indoor plumbing, central heating, frozen dinners…” Gosalyn buried her hands in his jacket, desperate to keep them warm.

“Frozen dinners? You’re not really convincing me.” His brown eyes were soft as he gazed down at her.

“I could say the same, mountain man.” She fisted the material of his jacket and tugged him even closer.

“Maybe I can take you fishing sometime. Change your mind?” He dipped his head down and pressed his forehead to hers.

She smiled. “That’s very ambitious of you.”

He grinned, his mouth a breath away from hers. “I like a challenge.”

She closed her eyes in anticipation, but in the next moment, a small cold object hit Max on the back of his skull, causing them both to stiffen and stand up straight.

“Ow,” he muttered, bringing up a hand to massage his head as Gosalyn saw the remnants of what could only have been a snowball crumbling around his shoulders. She brushed the snow off, her eyes darting over Max’s shoulder to eye the roof of the neighbor’s — Pete’s, right? — house. She didn’t see anything that would confirm her suspicions one way or another, but she definitely saw some movement in the shadows, which caused her to roll her eyes.

“That’s my crazy,” she explained, returning her gaze to Max to make sure he hadn’t been injured.

Max stopped massaging his head to look at her, his expression curious. “That was…?”

“Negaduck.”

“Well, if that’s the worst he’ll do, I think I can handle myself,” Max said, his smile back in place.

Gosalyn eyed him. “It’s definitely not the worst he can do.”

Max shrugged. “It’s probably the worst he’ll do to me, right? Since he knows you like me.”

She considered this for a moment before nodding. Negaduck was starting to tolerate Drake and Launchpad because he knew how much they meant to her. Max could probably join that category. Eventually. After Negaduck had gotten used to him.

Max’s eyes softened, the brown warm and inviting. “Then it’s worth it.”

Blushing, Gosalyn wound her arms around his neck and buried her fingers in his hair. Tugging him down, she said, “Good answer.”

Max’s light chuckle was swallowed into their kiss, Gosalyn keeping Max close, knowing Negaduck wouldn’t try anything else with her in the line of fire.

The thought of Max willing to stand up and fight for her — to the Lord of the Negaverse no less — chased away the last of the lingering cold.

[transdonaldduck]

The Witness (1/1(?))

Fandom: Darkwing Duck (focus on an OC) Pairings: Gen Characters: Wade Whittaker (OC-centric), Fearsome Five, Darkwing Duck, Gosalyn Mallard, Launchpad McQuack Summary: Wade Whittaker, an insomniac, is at the wrong place at the wrong time and ends up being chased by some of the most ferocious villains in St. Canard.

Wade Whittaker liked to think of himself as a work in progress. The rest of his family, however, like to think of him as ‘unemployed’ or ‘a deadbeat’ but Wade tended to ignore calls from his mom so he really didn’t get that as much anymore. He made enough picking up odd jobs to live in an old rundown apartment off of Charleston street, a stone’s throw away from the cemetery and a fifteen minute walk from the nearest Hamburger Hippo. The walls were a little discolored and the heater often broke intermittently during the winter but it was home, and Wade found that the landlord was a bit more lenient on rent deadlines when he could afford to be.

The reason he often lost jobs was because of his clumsiness, and his rampant and untamable insomnia that left him wide awake at night but uselessly exhausted during the day. He’d picked up night jobs before (he tended to, well, Not excell per say, but do marginally okay) like groundskeeping at the cemetery or working the cash register at 24 hour convenience store. He’d managed to work the convenience store for almost a year before his boss had cut hours to save money- making him half time instead of full time and costing him half his paycheck.

Having worked nightly for a year, coupled with his chronic insomnia- well, it meant it was 2 am and Wade was awake and restless. He often shrugged on his hoodie, grabbed his glasses, and took a leisurely stroll around town. Though recently Wade had been… unable to leave his apartment. Not in the sense that he was trapped, but in the sense that he was cornered.

“Wade, Wade, Wade,” He groaned, flopping back on his squeaky mattress and staring blearily up at the ceiling, “How do you get yourself into these situations?”

The situation being the fact that Negaduck, St. Canards number one bad guy, had it out for him personally. You see, his insomnia often drove him out at random, unlucky times of the night. He’d seen a lot of things in his time in the city- including walking in on crimes in progress. He’d barely managed to stay under the radar for this long thanks to the terror that flaps in the night, who usually managed to command all the villains attention leaving Wade time to escape the way he’d come and live to walk in on another crime the next night. Recently, however, he’d been the unwitting witness to the fearsome fives most recent meeting- one where they discussed plans for their upcoming nefarious plot.

They’d broken into Adam’s Jewelers on First Street. Wade knew Stacy, the owner. They’d gone to college together until he had dropped out in sophomore year, but she was still a good… acquaintance? And he sometimes dropped in to catch up. He’d been on another late night walk when he passed her shop, only stopping because the lights were on. He knew she usually closed early, but figured she might have extended store hours to work on the upcoming shipment of precious stones she had told him about last time they spoke. Deciding to offer a hello and an offer to grab her some coffee, Wade had ducked in the unlocked door and walked inside.

He’d made his way behind the counter, intending on opening the back door and peeking inside when the door opened and Negaduck himself stepped out. He had a sack thrown over his shoulder and he was walking backward, facing the rest of the villains in his squad and talking to them.

“Our next move is to isolate him from his sidekick, it won’t be hard if he thinks it’s a routine bank robbery.” He explains, and Wade wishes he had the superpower to turn invisible because that would be extremely helpful at this point- but the other four have already taken notice of him, and it’s looked like he was about to be toast.

Negaduck, having noticed his lackeys eyes looking past him, spun around to face whoever they were looking at. Wade was sure he didn’t look intimidating other than being about half a foot taller than Nega. He was currently shaking like a leaf and inching towards the exit.

“How much did you hear?” Was the first thing out of the supervillains mouth, eyes narrowing to slits before he shook his head, “It doesn’t matter, I’ll kill you anyway.” He turned his head to the side, “Fearsome Five- get him.”

Megavolt, the one directly behind him, is the first one to step forward. An arc of electricity trails after his hand as he raises it, and with a simple flick of his wrist lightning explodes out of his palm and Wade decides that getting fried by raw electricity is maybe not on the top of his to do list. He throws himself sideways over the counter, catching his hip hard on the glass case but skillfully avoiding the death ray. He doesn’t manage to catch his balance quick enough to land on his feet but does transition it into a tight roll. He takes a moment to catch his breath as the electricity strikes the cash register he had been standing in front of and turned it into a ball of flame and metal shrapnel.

About two years ago when Parkour had been at it’s height, Wade had attempted to get into the sport. He’d gone to a few of the free classes some passionate free-runner named Leaf had hosted at the park, but after the third meeting where he scraped his knee and cried for fifteen minutes he hadn’t made another appearance- tho he appreciates what little he did know, as the fall could have been much worse if not for how he’d learned to recover from it.

The explosion triggered the store alarms to go off, and the Fearsome Five seemed to panic- They scattered, but Negaduck rounded the edge of the counter after Wade, not intending to let him go with what important information he had eavesdropped on. Wade scrambled to his feet, running out the door and taking a hard left. Never in his entire life would he have ever imagined that he would be personally pursued by a supervillain, and he was almost tempted to stop and pinch himself to see if he were just dreaming- but he wasn’t, the aching pain in his hip was enough proof of that, so he kept moving.

One pro to restlessly prowling the streets was that you learned a few things, tips and tricks, and which alleyways led where- So wade began cutting around bends, climbing up and over trashcans, sliding through holes in fences, and taking shortcuts between cars to put as much distance between him and his pursuer. He kept up this random and confusing trail until he reached his apartment building, reasonably sure he’d lost him, and darting up to his apartment, slamming and locking the door behind him.

It was only then, in the safety of his dark apartment that he’d relaxed enough to start feeling his injuries he’d gotten while on the run. He didn’t dare flip on his livingroom light, too afraid his window would give away his location, and popped into his bathroom to clean up. Where he’d caught his hip at the jewelry store, a huge bruise was starting to form. He’s fallen several times, scraping his hands and knees up on asphalt and concrete. His nerves were on high alert and the pain seemed distant even now, he felt fine. Well, as fine as one could be after unwittingly stumbling upon five dangerous criminals and now, subsequently, being on their hitlist.

That had been two days ago, and Wade hadn’t left his apartment since. He couldn’t risk getting caught by any of those after him. He was a nervous wreck, any groan of the pipes or creak of the old building made him jump out of his skin. He was constantly on high vigilance, and it was taking a toll. He’d just been an insomniac before, now he could add anxious and paranoid to that mix. He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink.

He watches the sun rise on another sleepless night. The curtains are only open a crack, and a thin stripe of sunlight cuts across his dingy carpet. He needed to get help. It was an option he’d considered, but at first he wasn’t sure how he’d find Darkwing Duck at night faster than the Fearsome Five would find him, but maybe he didn’t need to find Darkwing Duck…

He stands up, pulls his long hair back into a semi-respectable bun, and grabs his keys. Daytime didn’t mean he was safe, but if he stuck to the more well-populated streets and kept his head down he hopefully wouldn’t attract too much attention. This would be a long trip, he lived in the heart of the city, but it would be worth it for some help.

He’d run into quite a few characters on his trek, but the last door he’d knocked on had actually been of some help. Herb Muddlefoot and his wife Binkie were… an experience, to say the least. Not bad per say, but certainly overwhelming, and willing to share happily with a complete stranger. They’d basically dragged him inside for pie and a chat, talking about their two young sons and their neighborhood. They’d made him take a slice “for the road” despite his destination being a the house next door.

It was a quaint little home, nothing special. Two stories, yellow, typical in every way. Wade knocked three times on the door, waiting as patiently as he could with the saran-wrapped pie in one hand. He hears a crash, a muffled shout, and then the door swung open.

“I already told you Herb-” The Duck at the door starts to snap, but the words die on his tongue and he blinks owlishly at Wade, obviously expecting someone else. Behind him are two kids, one with a mop of vibrant orange hair pulled back into pigtails and another in thick glasses. The girl was holding a hockey stick and looking sheepish mixed with curious as she strained to get a good look at the visitor on her doorstep. Gosalyn mallard, if Wade’s memory proved correct- she’d been in the paper with Darwing Duck Once or twice.

Sticking his head out of the kitchen, Launchpad McQuack quirked a brow, “Who’s at the door?” He asked, and Wade recognized him instantly as Darkwings sidekick.

“I don’t know,” The duck in front of him frowned, “Are you new to the neighborhood?”

Wade almost laughed. What a mundane question. “Uh- no, no.” He stuck out his free hand, “My name is Wade Whittaker.”

“Drake Mallard,” He introduces, automatically shaking his hand.

Wade let’s go, casting a glance over his shoulder, “I’m pretty sure I haven’t been followed- but the reason I came here is because I need your help.”

Drake’s face turns serious and he nods automatically, “Of course, what can I-” he stops short, as if just remembering something, “I mean, why do you need my help?”

Frowning, Wade blinked at him, “You’re Darkwing Duck.” He say simply, a statement of fact.

The entire household looks like they’ve just been slapped, and Wade hopes they’ll invite him inside since he feels a little exposed out here.

[ickaimp]

[Darkwing Duck] How we Roll

Apparently we needed 2,330 words of Darkwing Duck family feels fluff involving sushi today.

“Launchpad!” Drake grinned at his partner in delight. “I didn’t know you could use chopsticks!” 

“Oh yeah.” Launchpad deftly dropped a piece of crab sushi into his mouth with his chopsticks, taking a quick second to chew and swallow before speaking again. “Went around the world with Mr. McD and the kids, picked up a few things along the way. Kind of had to, Mr. McD is a stickler for table manners, especially when it comes to meal time negotiations.” He went to grab another pieces and it slipped, falling out of his chopsticks. The chopsticks quickly followed, one falling off the table and rolling on to the floor. “Course, I tend to crash them too.” Launchpad chuckled ruefully, then picked up a piece of salmon nigiri. “To be honest, I’m better at eating sushi with my fingers.” If that was the only thing Launchpad crashed tonight, Drake would count it as getting off lightly.

“Using fingers to eat sushi is still culturally acceptable.” Drake grinned, picking up piece of nigiri and daintily eating it. Yellow tail. One of his favourites. “How are you doing, Honey?” He asked, turning to his daughter, who seemed to be sulking a bit. “I’m still not so sure about this.” Gosalyn poked her california roll suspiciously, holding the chopsticks like daggers. She hadn’t been entirely thrilled with Drake’s suggestion for dinner, his attempt to branch out their diets a little bit more. “Raw fish?” “Only some of it is raw, and none of the sashimi is for kids.” Drake grinned, giving Launchpad a quick wink. “You’re not ready for the raw fish.”

“What?!” Gosalyn straightened, her face twisting in outrage. “What do you mean ‘I’m not ready’-?!” “You haven’t tried any of the boring cooked stuff, and you can’t even hold your chopsticks properly.” Drake stole the california roll Gosalyn had been poking from her plate and quickly ate it. “Hey!” Gosalyn glowered at him. “Where did you learn to use chopsticks anyway?” She grumbled. “Studying with Goose Lee. How do you think I ate in Kung Pow City?” Drake shrugged, going after a nice looking piece of mackerel nigiri. Although the Chinese food in Kung Pow City was certainly different from Japanese sushi. But still, chopstick mechanics were similar, even if the shapes were slightly different. “When travelling, do as the locals do.” “Here, here!” Launchpad cheerfully agreed, and then paused. “Well. Unless they’re hurting people. In that case, you stop them.” “Yes, that.” Drake agreed. That was the principal thing that being a superhero was about. Gosalyn gave them both suspicious looks, then carefully picked up a piece of her california roll with her fingers and hesitantly ate it. She chewed for another moment, then swallowed, quickly reaching over and grabbing another piece to shove in her mouth. “It’s alright.” She muttered. “Glad to hear it.” Drake fought a smirk. “Although you’re still not getting any of the good stuff until you can master chopsticks.” “I can do that.” Gosalyn scoffed, picking up the chopsticks and arranging them in her hands. The top one slipped between her fingers. Drake said nothing as she attempted to figure it out, occasionally squinting at his hand as he picked things up to eat, as if trying to figure out if he was using some sort of magic trick. Launchpad gave him an amused look, dipping a piece of tiger roll into the soy sauce for a moment before sticking the dripping piece in his mouth and eating it with great delight. Drake wrinkled his bill at him, he’d overpower the delicate flavours of the fish with that much sauce, the heathen.

“Okay.” Gosalyn spoke up, sounding annoyed. “How do you do it?” “Like this.” Drake set his chopsticks down and reached over to help her, folding her fingers correctly. “Bottom one rests on your thumb, top one you hold like a pencil.” He helped move the sticks in the proper way.

“And then you use the chopsticks to chomp like an alligator!” Gosalyn squeaked in delight, clacking the tips of the chopsticks together. “Ah… Yes. Precisely.” He agreed with some amusement, releasing her hands. “Like an alligator.”

“Keen Gear!” She exclaimed, reaching to grab one of the california rolls still on her plate. It exploded between her chopsticks, falling to pieces. Gosalyn’s face fell for a second, then she got a determined look on her face, tongue sticking out of the side of her bill as she tried picking up the pieces of the dismantled california roll. He certainly had to give her points for determination. Drake turned his attention back to the sushi platter, debating what to eat next. Not the octopus, he’d leave that for Launchpad, too chewy and he didn’t like the feeling of the suckers between his teeth. Something moved in the corner of his eye and he reacted without thinking, catching it with the tips of his chopsticks before it could strike him. “Neat-o!” Gosalyn cheered, staring at thim in wonder. “You just *BLAM!* caught that! Snatched it right out of the air!”

“Yep, yep, yep.” He set the piece of what looked like cucumber down on her plate, feeling extremely proud of himself. If it had been mostly a fluke, well, they didn’t need to know that. “Can you catch a fly out of midair too?!” Gosalyn demanded. “Usually.” He shrugged it off. Drake Mallard was a humble person. “But it’s not really worth it. You have to clean the chopsticks off after. Bug guts.” “EW!” Gosalyn’s face scrunched up, her tongue sticking out in disgust. “I wanna learn how to do that.” She decided, a fierce expression on her face. “And then I’ll make Tank eat the fly.”

He probably should say something against that. Probably. Drake glanced over at Launchpad, who seemed to be pointedly ignoring the comment and decided that his partner had the right idea of it.

“Here.” He flipped his chopsticks around and used the thicker back end to grab a slice of caterpillar roll and putting it on Gosalyn’s plate. “Try that. It’s like the california roll.”

Gosalyn’s eyes lit up, before narrowing as she focused on grabbing the caterpillar roll with her chopsticks, fumbling it a few times.

“Why’d you flip the chopsticks around?” Launchpad pointed at Drake’s hand, looking confused. “I ate off the other end.” Drake shrugged, turning his chopsticks back around. “Isn’t that how you serve if you’re sharing food?” That way you weren’t sharing germs and saliva. “Never thought of it.” Launchpad wiggled his fingers at Drake. Right. “Usually just pass it over and put it on their plate.”

Gosalyn made a confused noise as she finally got the piece of sushi into her mouth and ate it. “It’s warm-?” She said, confused and slightly disturbed. “Has cooked eel in it instead of crab.” Drake said mildly. Avocado, cucumber, and eel. “EEL?!” Gosalyn’s eyes went wide. “Gross!” “But tasty!” Launchpad pointed out, grabbing a piece of caterpillar roll as well and eating it. “You should try some of the roe.” “Roe?” “Here.” Drake scooped some small orange looking dots off a pieces with the back end of his chopsticks and putting it on her plate. “Try a small sample first.” Gosalyn gave him a suspicious look, but dipped the tips of her chopsticks into the bright orange dots and putting it in her mouth. Her eyes lit up. “They pop!” “Well, yeah.” Launchpad grinned. “They’re fish eggs! Little tiny tiny ones!” “Groooooosssss.” Gosalyn breathed, excited. “Can I have more?” “Sure.” Drake motioned to the  platters in the middle of the table. They had a lot of different kinds. “Anything you can grab with your chopsticks. And no raw sushi.” He smirked to himself as her jaw tensed up, a determined look on her face as she gripped the chopsticks tightly in her hand. Launchpad gave him a confused face and Drake gave a small shake of his head. Gosalyn stood up in her chair, one hand braced on the table as she looked over the platters of sushi. One of the joys of all-you-can-eat sushi was that it gave the opportunity to try a lot of different kinds. And between the active lives the three of them lead, they could certainly pack the food away.

She leaned forward to snatch at the closest sushi to her and shoving it in her mouth. Her expression turned puzzled. “I don’t think that was fish.” She complained once her mouth wasn’t full anymore. “Tamago is an omlette with normal eggs and Mirin, a type of sweet rice wine.” Drake explained. Honestly, he was just grateful she wasn’t talking with her mouth full. “That’s why it was sweet.” Gosalyn nodded as if that made sense. She reached for a piece with cooked shrimp, and at the last second, twisted her chopsticks to make a grab at a piece of raw tuna. Drake caught her chopsticks in his own. “Nice try, missy.” He declared as she growled in annoyance. He released her chopsticks and grabbed the tuna, quickly eating it. “Mmmm. Delicious.”

Gosalyn muttered to herself as she readjusted the chopsticks and grabbed a kappa roll, filled with cucumber. Drake smirked to himself. That was one way to get her to eat her vegetables. Launchpad glanced between them, looking suspicious as he went for a piece of octopus. Good. Drake watched his daughter try a couple more pieces before going for a beautiful slice of salmon, intercepting her. She muttered in annoyance, attempting to wrestle with the chopsticks. Drake smiled, foiling her plans. Gosalyn growled, and then it suddenly turned into an all out chopstick war, trying to grab and eat everything in reach. Launchpad yelped, then dove in with his hands as well, grabbing more than one piece at a time and shoving them into his bill before they could get to them.

It was rude, it was messy, it was so perfectly them that Drake had to smile to himself as he fended off the dwindling pieces of raw sushi from Gosalyn.It helped that she had far from mastered it, and kept fumbling the pieces that he would quickly grab. And then suddenly there was nothing left but wasabi and pickled ginger. Drake leaned back in his seat, feeling both full and satisfied as Launchpad started to pick at the ginger before offering it to Gosalyn. At least no one had accidently inhaled wasabi this time around. His first introduction to the green horseradish paste hadn’t been pleasant at all, although he didn’t mind a little bit of it. “I’ll get it next time.” Gosalyn muttered, trying to grab the slices of pickled ginger. “We’ll see, honey.” Drake said, pulling out his wallet as the waitress walked up with the check. With the mess they’d sort of just made, he didn’t blame them for not asking if there was anything else they could get.

It was a not uncommon occurance going out to eat with Gosalyn. Thankfully there had been no livestock involved this time around. He left a hefty tip, then escorted Gosalyn out of the building, Launchpad automatically following, guarding their backs. Gosalyn kept the cheap bamboo chopsticks with her, holding them like a stake, muttering about the utensils behind handy in case of rogue vampire attacks. A couple walking by them picked up the pace a little as they overheard what she was saying and he ignored them. It might have seemed odd to anyone else, but it made Drake happy to see Gosalyn growing up to be happy, healthy, and most of all, herself. Not trying to fit any pre existing molds that didn’t fit her. No matter how unlady-like her behaviour seemed to be, or terrified Birdie. He’d grown up to forge his own path, Launchpad too to some extent. And his daughter was already an amazing tiny person. Although she still had some growing up to do. Years.

“You know, we have several sets of chopsticks at home.” Drake casually mentioned, trying not to sound amused and failing.

“We do?!” Gosalyn exclaimed in excitement, then turned suspicious. “Really? How come I’ve never seen them?” “Oh! That one I can answer!” Launchpad volunteered. “That’s cause you never help with put the dishes away.” “I help occasionally.” Gosalyn retorted, torn between pride and defiance. Drake barely kept from snorting in amusement. The silverware was the only thing that was safe from Gosalyn, and even then it sometimes ended up being embedded in the wall. “And just you wait, Dad! I’ll master chopsticks in no time at all!” Gosalyn waved her stolen chopsticks in Drake’s face, looking stern. “And then we’ll see who gets the ‘good stuff’.” “Uh-huh.” He nodded, a skeptical look on his face. She snorted in annoyance and stomped forward, fingers moving to automatically try to hold them properly. He’d be willing to bet that she’d probably eat everything with them for the next three weeks, until she felt she’d sufficiently mastered them. He stretched, then rubbed his full belly, feeling happy and content, surrounded by two of his favourite people. It’d been a good dinner. Tasty food, no massive disasters, no villainous attacks, and he hadn’t had to pay for any dishes or property damage. “I don’t get it.” Launchpad whispered quietly at him. “Why don’t you want her trying the raw fish? It’s good.”

“It is.” Drake gave his partner a slow, smug smirk. “But this way, she’ll want to try it.” Launchpad looked puzzled a moment longer, before his expression slowly cleared as he realised that Drake had essentially tricked Gosalyn into learning how to use chopsticks and try raw fish, something she wouldn’t have even contemplated when they first walked in.

“Hot. Dog.” Launchpad whispered in awe, glancing between the still fuming Gosalyn and the smug Drake. “Good one.”

“Yeah well.” Drake shrugged, bumping Launchpad’s arm with his own in solidarity. “Let me know if you think of anything that’ll trick her to cleaning her room.” -fin-