#[ it's been brought to my attention that my rules are hard to find so posting them here! ]

[mixingandmelting]

Hey! So kinda new here but I LOVED your take on how they would react to their s/o thinking Damian's adorable. Everytime he comes up I get in full protective older sister mode and it is so hard to find fics like that (kinda thinking about writing it myself). But I would really love to see how do you think it would be for Damian to meet his brothers' partners and actually get along with them.

All his life he's been mostly surrounded by terribly traumatized people who seem to be allergic to express their feelings (most of the times at least), it's always been hard for him to actually be a kid. So I think that maybe meeting a person he can trust, is kind of mentally stable and just fun to talk to would actually allow him to let his guard down a bit. Not saying he would act fully like a child bc you know ✨️trauma✨️ but idk I guess it would be interesting to see him feeling safe and not needing to prove himself or put on the whole "I'm not a kid" act

Anyway, english is not my first language so I do apologize if that paragraph is just a big mess and hopefully you could actually understand my rambling, sorry about that too.

A/N: treating it as a prequel to the aforementioned post here!

w/ Dick:

He heard about you. From Oracle, Steph, Tim, even Jon. Yet despite what they told him, he held no expectations for you. Just with Starfire, he saw you as temporary, a flame soon to be put out like his brother’s other exes. 

And he made sure to let you, meeting you for the first time in the Manor when the two of you coincidentally are left alone to chill in the living room on your day visiting the place. 

“I hope you realize you’re not Richard’s first nor will you be his last.” The teen states. His eyes never leave the page he’s currently on regarding the etiology of cows as he sits on the couch across from you. 

“And?” 

��And? 

He continues to insult you, questioning if you were truly unable to comprehend what he’s trying to get at only to suddenly find himself debating with you about what Batcow’s breed could possibly be. 

“You can’t rule out all dairy cattle when certain breeds are also brought to the slaughter house.” 

“That’s true but considering her size, she would be leaning towards beef cattle. Also there are certain breeds that have the red and white coat like hers.” 

How it happens, he doesn’t know. Especially when his goal was to exert his superiority, doing everything he can to get under your skin to show he’s above you. But you don’t bat an eyelash to anything he says. Rather, you’re wanting to know more about him, responding to him how you would respond to anyone else who is similar age as you. 

And it seems like he isn’t the only one to have realized how quickly he’s gotten comfortable with you once you got dragged out for a “girls talk” by the girls. Whatever that is. 

“I thought you didn’t want to get along?” Dick asks, entering the room and plopping himself right next to the youngest Bat. 

“More like your s/o is either non-human or can manipulate the mind.” Damian scowls and swats at the offending hand that attempts to ruffle his hair. 

But even without the knowing smirk the eldest shoots at him, he knows that isn’t the case. 

So when you promise you’d bake sweets whenever the two of you meet, he takes you up for it. Now he uses it to his advantage to annoy his older sibling whenever he comes over to visit, enjoying how the eldest son of the family miserably sulks for having your attention taken away from him. 

w/ Jason:

It’s either you’re a saint or lacking a brain. That’s what he assumes when the eldest of the family yells to everyone in the Batcave that their second oldest brother, the trouble-maker and black sheep of the family, had finally found himself a significant other.

He most definitely didn’t expect you to be… collected and reserved when he casually breaks into Todd’s unit to demand for assistance (it’s not him needing help), only for his eyes to meet wide and surprise yours. 

“Who are you?”

“Uh, I should be the one to say that to you.  Not the other way around buddy.”

Shots are fired, both sides fully suspicious of each other with him trying to exert dominance while you manage to counter and land hits of your own in the battle of words. And to the bitter end, he will never admit how he’s thrown off guard and has his pride extremely hurt at the very start, your eyes’ glint and your voice vocalizing recognition as whom, what Todd apparently refers to him as, “the pain in the ass” before he was able to realize you’re the s/o Richard had been talking about (the argument he gives later on after gloating to family how he was the first to actually to meet you was how he didn’t think Todd would be dating someone normal considering all his history with others and hook-ups). 

As it should be known when putting two stubborn people in the same room, it’s either go big or go home. That’s why he sits down at the table and drinks the cup of tea you place in front of him. The one that you made in the midst of the verbal argument which “only” you refuse to back down despite there already being a winner. Not because you give him snacks and you’re decent with steeping tea with loose leaf tea. 

The argument shifts to gossiping, and soon, Jason arrives while the two of you spill the tea with each other regarding the latest Batfamily’s love-drama. 

“Oh, you’re back!” 

The way Damian nearly does a double take at the sight of the man genuinely smiling with joy, captivation, and enamor though it only lasts for a second at him noticing who else was sitting at the table with you. He’s glad to say the least he’s able to find someone he could gossip about his family’s dilemma with romance while gleefully able to get at the man for all the times his buttons were pushed. 

w/ Tim:

Trust Drake to keep you hidden for this long, successfully in completely masking your presence from the whole family. He didn’t even know you existed, nonetheless Drake having a significant other in general,  leaving him to quite literally not have an opinion on you. 

The only way he finds out is the person in question kissing who he now knows is you purely by accident where the two of you were in the middle of a date and he was subbing in for patrol. He had the biggest grin when witnessing all this as he realized he just got his hand on his nemesis’ biggest weakness (he does make a face at the public display of affection though). And what better way to cement it by finding out more about you. 

As per tradition, the first thing he does is follow you to where you live. Then proceed to break in and wait for you to come home the following week. 

“You’re Drake’s significant other?” 

“What the fuc-fudge, why is there a kid in my apartment?!” 

He gets fed up and presses harder with the interrogation as you won’t stop calling him kid, kiddo, bud, and worst of all: sport. He’ll give it to you how you don’t easily bend to peer-pressure, keeping the playing field even and leveled where you ask him back questions of your own. But he doesn’t fall for your tactics to sidetrack him when offering refreshments and beverages. 

What’s your relation with Timothy Jackson Drake, how long have you known him, where did you meet him. The strange part is how you answer them truthfully. Sure you keep to the barebones, which he would ask a follow up if he deems as ��important” but now he’s questioning Drake’s tastes in people, wondering if the latter is into those without awareness. 

“You do realize you’re giving out information to someone you just met, right?” He crosses his arms, an eyebrow raised. It’s not out of concern for the two of you, he’s merely mocking how weak the relationship seems to be. He tilts his head when you suddenly look sheepish, almost bashful. 

“Well…about that…” 

It’s starting then things don’t go as planned. One, you had already known about him as the “demon spawn” who had taken the position of Robin.  And two, the two of you start bonding over knowing your BF’s most humiliating moments.

It gives Damian the greatest satisfaction to see how his sibling’s facial expression falls into horror as he slams the door open only to see him in the middle of writing notes on the one story of how he attempted to skate through the rain to impress you and fail.

[psyzcraze]

Arataki itto. you were going through a very rough breakup and was drinking hard with your friends, until they recommended that you should get laid to forget about that throbbing pain in your heart🤑

(one night stand to lovers) type dynamic

"A TASTE OF FREEDOM"

characters: Itto x FEM!Reader, [Aged up!Xiangling and Hu Tao are mentioned tho!]

genre: Smut [MDNI !! ], Slight Angst at the start

fandom: Genshin Impact, Hoyoverse

c/w: Mature themes, One-night-stand dynamic, explicit, Modern!AU, Drinking, raw/no protection, big d!Itto, praise kink(?), breeding (if you squint), pet names (angel, baby, pretty girl, princess), fingering, mating press, cumming inside, No aftercare, Post-break up

wc: 1,739 words, 9338 characters (I'm going insane)

author's note: Hiiii, this is my first time writing smut.. AGAIN, NOT PROOFREAD Please give me your opinions in the comments or asks. Reblogs are greatly appreciated! Creds for the dividers are at the bottom, do check them out :) ! Skip to 2nd divider for smut!

MASTERLIST and Rules if you're planning to give a request too! :)

You had just gotten into a really messed up, break up with your ex. You guys were just about to get married, the plans were there but luckily you haven't really spent anything yet. Which you were grateful for.

You were a huge mess. A crying, drinking mess. You loved him with all your heart and yet he easily replaced you with another, without even closure. Your friends, Xiangling and Hu Tao recommended you to go and get laid again.

"Oh come on, Hu Tao!" You swatted the brown haired woman while she and Xiangling giggled playfully. "Come think of it girl, You'll forget him in no time!" "Mhm"

After a few nights thinking about what your best friends said to you, You decided to give it a try and went to Xylo. It was a fairly popular club, a good place to lose yourself in. It was also the nearest one in your city.

It was 11 pm on a Friday night, Hu Tao and Xiangling paid for y'all's entrance fees and drinks. They also dolled you up in a pretty black dress, did your make up and hair.

A few minutes in and things were already going good. Around 12 am, the three of you were getting a bit tipsy but still quite sober. The music was loud, the drinks were good and there were A LOT of attractive guys.. especially that long white haired guy that had been catching your attention since earlier. He was attractive and just by the shirt he was wearing, you can easily tell he's built.

Hu Tao and Xiangling had been staring and they know for a fact that you're interested in him. While you were chatting with Xiangling, Hu Tao sneakily went to the long white haired man then pointed at you and told him that you're interested in him. Hu tao immediately left to go get drinks for the three of you.

You're heart pounded as the long white haired man, with those dreamy orangey-red orbs staring at yours.

"Good evening, my...lady. A friend of yours told me that you're interested in me.. Is that right?" He asked as he leaned down slightly to reach your ears. He was much taller now that he's close to you. Sensing the tension between the two of you, Xiangling immediately excused herself and left to go find Hu Tao with a giggle. "O-oh, That's about right, Yes.." You said awkwardly, not knowing how to react.

"Ahaha, I apologize if I come too bold, my lady. It's just that such a pretty girl like you looks quite lonely in a place like this..." He introduced himself, never losing his posture, a grin on his face. "Nice meeting you, Mister.. Nameless.."

Both of you talked and drank. You guys were already laughing your asses off, before he suddenly stopped to look at your pretty lips.. God, they look so kissable.. Itto thought to himself as he brought his face closer to yours. Noticing this, You also brought your face closer to his. He then gently cupped your cheek, bringing your face closer to his. "May I..?" He asked as he shifted his gaze from your lips to your eyes. Seeking your permission.

You answered his question by pressing your soft lips onto his. He immediately put the drink he was holding onto the table, gently placing his now free hand at the back of your head, gently pressing you closer to him. You whimper into the kiss. The kiss deepens as you let his tongue enter your mouth. You closed your eyes as you tried to fight him for dominance, making the tension thicker, although he ended winning as expected.

Itto then gently carried you out of Xylo, going to the nearest hotel he could find in the area. As soon as you entered the hotel room, He immediately gently pinned you against the locked door, kissing you like there was no tomorrow.

He then led you to the bed without breaking the kiss, his tall and muscular form towering over your smaller one. As the both of you pulled away from the long and deep kiss, you were left taking deep breaths on the bed as he knelt up and took off his shirt, revealing his abs and muscular chest to you. You shyly shifted your gaze down and saw something bulging in his pants, causing you to shift your gaze away for the second time.

He then leaned down, placing both of his arms beside your head, his long white hair with strikes of red, covering the both of you. Trapping you.

Itto then gently kissed you on the cheeks gently before asking again.

"May I?" He said, trying to sound gentle but the huskiness of his voice restrained him from doing so. His hands were already at the zipper of your dress, ready to pull it down.

"You may.." You replied quietly as you felt his big hand run down the zipper of your dress. He helped you get out of that skimpy dress before he asked again,"May-" "You don't have to ask.. Just do what you please.." You spoke so softly, it almost sounded too sweet in his ears.

Itto nodded as he took a deep breath before unclasping your lace bra. He chuckled lightly as he watched you close your eyes as his big hands started to gently fondle your tits. Both of his thumbs playing with your perky nipples till they get hard. He then lets go of one of them as he lets out a shaky breath near your nipple before letting his tongue out to lick it. He licked and teased your nipple as he fondled with the other.

You let out whimpers and soft moans as Itto begins to suck on your perky tits while his free hand slides down the side of your waist and goes under your panties.. "That's right, moan for me, angel.." He spoke softly, his voice now slightly shaky but still dominates you.

You let out a shaky moan, your legs slightly trembling as his fingers start to rub and caress your folds. Especially with his thumb putting just the right amount of pressure on your clit as he rubs small tight circles on it, "Stop t-teasing..me.." You pleaded, you voice shaky and breathy. God your voice and moans sounded like music to his ears.

"Is that so, baby?" Itto asked as he pulled away from your tits with a pop, a playful smirk forcing on his face as he watched you need-ily nod your head. He was just getting started too.. He chuckled as he placed his other hand on your hips to steady you and finally entered one of his long fingers in your tight cunt. Thrusting it gently and slowly and shallowly. He added one of his long fingers again. This time, the thrusting of his long fingers were deeper, and faster.

You were already feeling so good. Shaky and trembling legs, You haven't felt this amount of pleasure for so goddamn long. You could feel that tight knot in your tummy forming, you were getting so close..

"Hngh- I'm close..!" You said to him, Itto just fasten the thrusting of his fingers and just as your moans were getting louder, just as you were about to let go, He pulled his fingers out. Leaving you feeling empty and causing you to whine.

"Be patient, Baby." He spoke, his voice sounding more sultry than ever as he knelt up once more. He quickly unzipped his pants and pulled it down along with his boxers. His.. cock immediately stood. You gulped as you saw its size, You already knew it was big just from seeing his bulge earlier, but boy, he was bigger than you thought.

"A-are you sure it can fi-", "We'll make it fit. Just take deep breaths f' me.." He spoke as gently pushed you down the bed, making sure you're comfortable before lining the tip of his cock to your small cunt. "Take a deep breath f'me." He spoke softly as he watched you take a deep breath. "That's a good girl." He praised you as his starts to gently push his swollen cock head inside your tight, wet cunt. You could feel him stretch your tight cunt out as you could feel him bottom out, inch by agonizing inch.

After he bottoms out, you could feel him stay still for a moment. Letting you adjust to his size. You let out small whimpers as you nodded to let him know that he can start moving already.

Seeing your signal, He starts to move, thrusting his hips. Gently yet deeply. You could feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix with how deep he's in you.

He then gently changed your position to a mating press, spreading your out more for him to fuck. "You're doing so well, pretty girl.." He groans as he starts to fasten his thrusting.

You let out loud moans at every thrust- pounds, he gave your cunt. You moan and whine. "F-faster,.!" You whined and he happily obliged, Pounding your pretty cunt. The sound of skin slapping was loud, mixing in with the sounds of your angelic moans.

"God, I'm breeding this fucking cunt.." Itto cursed under his breath, pounding your tight cunt, feeling your hot, velvety walls clamp down on his cock. He lets out groans and grunts as he continues to pound you with a steady fast and deep rhythm. He then reached down between you and started rubbing your clit in small tight circles, adding more stimulation, causing you to moan louder and camp down tighter on his big cock.

"You going to cum, princess?" He panted, his smirk growing wider as he sees your eyes roll back as you nodded in desperation.

"Cum with me then, princess." He spoke as he sealed your lips with a kiss, rubbing tighter circles onto your clit, the pounding of his hips getting deeper and faster. He suddenly stopped, burying his cock deeper into you as he groans, painting your walls white. Making you cum after him too.

"You did so good, pretty girl." He said softly as he stayed for a bit before pulling out. He watched as exhaustion took over you and you feel asleep. His gaze shifted to your cunt, watching his cum drip down. He sighed before gently fingering his cum into you.

"Tsk, What a waste."

Again: Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Creds: divider, divider

psych0-puppete3r ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[fountainpenguin]

Went down a very specific research pipeline last night, and now you get to share it with me:

Does Dev have hypoglycemia?

Low levels of blood sugar that - when they drop - can lead to irritability, confusion, headaches, exhaustion, shaking, rapid heartbeat, blurry vision, passing out, seizures, or even death. Blood sugar can drop about 2 to 4 hours after eating; snacks and additional small meals are very needed; sugary foods like hard or gummy candies can give a quick boost, as can juice or soda. I'm continuing my research after this post, so please forgive/inform me if I've mixed up details between different types of hypoglycemia- or just got something totally wrong.

FOP: A New Wish is set in modern times (i.e. not the far future). He's allowed to have drones in the classroom with him- They're acknowledged as his assistants and the teachers know about them.

Potentially, they may function under similar rules to service dogs- another sentient creature that would be allowed in class (ignoring that Dev is sometimes away from them, or that they went into the halls on their own in "28 Puddings Later").

We know Dev is self-reliant enough to get by without his au pairs. They help him, but they're not something he needs 24/7.

Insert joke about the au pairs needing off-duty time like service dogs and sometimes they just go play. Union rules...

We know they have the capability to "alert on Dev" like service dogs... or at least, this one looked at Dev and beeped when scanning a paper, and even projected an exclamation point to catch his eye:

The visual-verbal cue combo is definitely an intentional feature (And it's not like it greeted him by name- it just beeped and he knew what it was conveying).

We know that at the end of "Lost and Founder's Day," this au pair - despite being a machine - recognized Dev was sad (or at least low energy) and patted him on the head.

Au Pair: I would hug you, but I do not have human arms or warmth.

Earlier in this episode, we see the au pairs respond to people based on data they were being fed through sensors people were wearing on their wrists. Dev might have one here, though we know he was upset to find out his dad was using them to zap people and he's sad about his dad not loving him, so it's likely he's not wearing it.

This implies the au pairs don't have enough data about most people, but they DO have internal data about Dev. If not internal, they can read him well. We do know they're good at reading cues- They get embarrassed during the festival when they find out problems have been corrected before they got there and we didn't see the Dimmlets shock anyone to prompt the au pairs to acknowledge the situation changed. What does it say about the au pairs if they're implied to be Dale's creation and they see sad Dev and think "I should hug him."

The Off Puddin' brand of pudding is so desirable that the whole class became addicted; they had withdrawals when Hazel changed her "unlimited pudding" wish to be "pudding after we take our class picture" wish- Just like everyone else, Dev was one of the affected individuals and ate all the pudding he could get his hands on.

If the pudding is that delicious, it's interesting Dev kept some (even if this is a new batch from a different pudding day) and snacked on it in Fairy World... and didn't give into impulses to eat it some random day beforehand:

I guess we can't prove it's the same brand, but it's presumably the same model from "28 Puddings Later." I think it's the only item we know he brought to Fairy World beyond clothes and one au pair that he stands on. He doesn't even use his tablet in this episode (which he's normally glued to outside of school).

We can confirm Peri didn't poof this up for him (or at least, it's very unlikely since that would've been weeks ago). Dev eats this pudding after Irep ditches him to hang out with his dad- Extremely doubtful Dev got Irep's attention for his snack. Or Dale's, for that matter (if his dad brought some).

Canonically, the principal gives Dev lots of pudding because his dad made a "generous donation" to the school. It's possible he does this often since we know Dev hoards pudding every pudding day...

... which is interesting, because in "Stanky Danky," the news describes Dale as "billionaire non-philanthropist." Investing in his child's future for the sake of good education doesn't seem to be his M.O.... although he does send Dev to a private school, so maybe.

We know Dale hates losing money, and we know he's not the best dad to Dev... but we also know Dev has an official allergy card that names him in 3rd person-

- which could imply he got this card when he was young. That's not guaranteed, but I looked at some IRL cards and some use first-person, so it's food for thought.

Possibly, his dad even took him to the doctor for official diagnosis. Lactose intolerance can be hereditary, so if Dale has it, he may have identified it immediately after Dev's first reaction. For all Dale’s faults, Dev IS still alive and not starving to death - and still lives with his dad - so it's not improbable Dale's aware of his son's food needs. On a darker note... given Dale's abusive childhood, I feel like lack of food is something he has trauma around. Also, if Dale is lactose intolerant, I'd be curious to know how Dev found out he was, as I'd assume Dale wouldn't keep dairy in the house if he can't eat it. The two logical options here are "Dale took him for an allergy test" or "Dev ate dairy outside the house and got sick, so he told his dad / the au pairs." Maybe he found out in preschool?

Dev's au pair bringing him a snack! Their boy needs to eat!

Anyway, this was all leading up to these screenshots of Dev having no fun on the walk to Signal Hill that I found funny:

No energy... need sugar... Exercise did a number on him... Hazel takes a breather by crouching for a second, but Dev just slams his face in the grass and I think that's great.

Despite Dev not liking to walk, he and Hazel stopped their treasure hunt before the final clue and walked back to the Dimmadome place for food, so that's neat to think about (especially in the context of him snacking before he left the house... How long were they out? Did he even finish his snack?)

Dev's au pair was preemptively wearing a chef's hat when he and Hazel came back to the house, so I wonder if that's his routine lunch time on weekends. The au pairs are good caretakers who know their boy's schedule and needs...

Immediately after this scene, Dale asks what Dev and Hazel are up to "this fine afternoon," so it's probably after 1 pm. Noon at the earliest, but surely not an early lunch at 11 AM. Interesting consideration for the timing of Dev's snack... It makes sense if he was out with Hazel for 2 to 4 hours before he had to go home and eat, even though they were on the final riddle.

Come to think of it, one of the things we know about Dev's house is that there's a cereal bar and Peri brings him cereal... and the woozy Peri hallucinating about bringing Dev "his favorite cereal" (during the finale) seems to get to him one way or another.

Consider... Cosmo and Wanda poofed up hard candy when Peri came over because Dev needed sugar I DID wonder what they were up to considering sugar gets Fairies inebriated...

tl;dr - I like to think the reason on paper that Dev gets his au pairs in school is for medical reasons. They track his blood sugar and keep him from, y'know... going into a seizure or passing out. I can't imagine Dale would like that happening to his son at home either (if for no other reason than because it would be a huge distraction he has to deal with).

If this is something Dev's been dealing with since he was little, that plays into the au pairs accompanying him through his early years... We know he's both lactose intolerant and extremely picky, not liking any of the cupcakes Peri poofed up despite this many attempts:

- which I cannot imagine Dale had the patience to deal with long if he was Dev's primary caretaker in his earliest years.

I was gonna make a joke about Dale hiring someone to watch Dev - and let's be real; he probably did - but also... do you think this cocky guy would spend money when "It's a baby; how hard can it be? I also eat daily- This is just efficient use of my time!"

POV: Tired single dad who's not yet finalized his au pair design walks into grocery store with baby, buys cupcakes, leaves. Confuses every parent in the parking lot when he has a fussy Dev sitting on the back of the car and he's spoonfeeding him icing. They did not go home. Next stop will be the park, where Dale falls asleep on a bench while Dev eats bugs. Some parent sees Dev eating a chocolate bar and strikes up a conversation with Dale about what a big moment it was when they treated their child to chocolate and Dale's just like "I've been feeding him that his entire life." Dale pouring a soda in his toddler's sippy cup: Don't judge me.

At a certain point, when you're a billionaire single dad running multiple businesses and you're good at robotics, there comes a time when "It would make things easier if my young child (who's a very picky eater and can't have dairy) had a drone to follow him around, alert him when his blood sugar is about to drop, or assist if he passes out" makes a lot of sense. Especially if you have major trust issues from abuse and prefer relying on your own inventions.

It was a very relieving day for Dale when he finally had a reliable au pair to leave his son with, I'm sure. Didn't accidentally kill his son!! #Not as big a jerk as you could've been!

During my original liveblog for "Battle of the Dimmsonian," I was confused about Dev going from "I need to talk to Hazel" to trying to spook her and her friends by summoning ghosts. I'm definitely not excusing his bitter attitude in general as a hypoglycemia thing, but this is an episode that would make this headcanon funny:

Peri, internally: Listen here, you little brat- I've read your file. Now eat your freakin' cupcake. Icing is good for you. Dev: These are terrible >:( I'll go without. Peri: WHY? Dev later that day: If I tell Peri I need sugar, he'll be SUCH a pain about it. I opt to suffer...

Anyway, I think it's interesting and I'm going the "au pairs help Dev with a lot of things, but one of them is hypoglycemia" direction in my City Lights AU :)

If anyone's curious, I'm doing growth hormone deficiency that also lands him with a weak immune system- another thing the au pairs help him with. My full character profile for Dev will go into extra details about his life... Fun times.

Dale, planting his whiny and sick child on the floor by his desk and handing him a tablet, juice, and a bunch of hard candy: Big Boss has a work meeting. Don't go outside or you'll die. At this point, you're sunk costs and if I lose you, I'm gonna make it everyone's problem.

Bonus Theory:

Are Doug and Dale also lactose intolerant, and did Dale kill his dad's cows?

In Season 5 - "Mooooving Day" - Doug runs a business called Dimmadome Farms, which produces extreme amounts of milk from genetically modified cows. He uses this to keep the population of Dimmadome Acres totally happy and obedient.

Doug seems convinced the milk makes people happy and that it's a good thing, but he doesn't personally drink it. It's kind of funny to think he went the route of milk because his family is full of lactose intolerant individuals who won't accidentally drink it.

Genetics - Lactose intolerance is inherited in the autosomal recessive pattern- This means either both of Dev's parents are lactose intolerant, or they personally aren't but carry the gene.

Additionally, Dev will only pass lactose intolerance to his kids if his partner also has the gene- either intolerant or a carrier.

There's a chance Dev developed it without genetics, but it looks like there's a lot more variety there than I can cover in a single post. From what I've read, it's "uncommon in babies and young children." He's 9 when "Peace of Pizza" takes place, which might strengthen the argument that it's genetic in his family.

One of the businesses Dale lists as under his possession in "Lost and Founder's Day" is Dimm-'N-Out Burgers. Presumably this is a parallel of In-'N-Out Burger, which use beef patties. Notably, this is a business made up for A New Wish- It's never been portrayed as under Doug's ownership.

If Dimmadome Farms already existed in Dale's youth, it makes sense Dale would use the cows from there- You have to do something with the ones who aren't producing milk, so why not make money?

Technically, Dimmadome Acres was wiped out by magic, but it's possible Dimmadome Farms itself was outside premises of the suburban neighborhood, so maybe there were other cows.

We know by A New Wish, Dale has established himself as a tech mogul, but he probably wasn't one straight after being rescued from 7 years of abuse, which is heavily implied to have started when he was 9 (give or take). Consider:

Doug: I'm making drinks from a labor force of enslaved individuals I've trapped underground :) His son, who recently escaped a life of being forced to make drinks for 7 years underground: This is incredibly insensitive, actually.

Hey, there's something SUPER sus about Dale's underground lemonade stand abuse starting at age 9 when his dad's milk factory is also underground in a big trapdoor and relies on trapped people for labor... Do you think Vicky found the cows when she was a kid and lured Dale down there, but he was lactose intolerant and couldn't drink mind control milk, so she moved him somewhere else... I'm connecting the dots...

It's worrisome that Doug's instinctual response to Timmy saying he didn't want to drink milk was "What a baby," and then he jumps and corrects himself to "Aw, shucks"... What conspiracy am I uncovering... Doug, let me in- I just wanna talk about the home your son grew up in.

I mean, the alt theory is that Doug built his underground dairy farm and trapped people to work in it BECAUSE Dale told him where he'd been for the last 7 years and he went "Oh, that's brilliant!" and that's also terrible??

Anyway, Doug's thing is that he's constantly jumping from one business to the next, never staying consistent (beyond the beloved Dimmadome stadium).

Knowing how he's always go-go-go, it's very probable he'd get his son involved in business young. Maybe Dale started with a burger joint until the robotics work paid off! A spiteful direction for Dimmadome Farms indeed...

Me, having a sudden realization and looking up from my notes theorizing both Dev and Dale have OCD and ADHD, then glancing at my second monitor where I have references from "Moooving Day" of Doug's meticulously arranged town of pink houses and people wearing matching outfits:

... Ah.

[prettyngeto]

yellow (ish) car

satoru gojo x f!reader

summary: the one where we find out gojo satoru is a simp (and colourblind)

content: fluff, established relationship, satoru being a lovesick idiot, idiots in love, crack fic?, cross posted on ao3

word count: 825

main masterlist || jjk masterlist

The sound of your voice rambling about the movie you had just seen together had Satoru Gojo mesmerised. He was walking lazily beside you, ice cream starting to melt and dripping down the cone onto his hand but Satoru didn’t care - his eyes were fixated on you. Your eyes, the way your lips moved when you talked, the way your tongue slipped out to lick at your ice cream cone. His brain was repeating the same sentence over and over again. How the fuck did I get so lucky?

“Uhh.. Toru? You listening?” For god’s sake, just the way you said his name nearly brought him to his knees but he quickly snapped out of his lovestruck trance.

“Huh? Oh yeah yeah I’m listening babe, always listening to ya.” he replies with a cheeky smile playing on his lips as he tilts his head back looking down on you. “Really,” you deadpan, “Must have been listening real hard if half your ice cream is currently on your hand?” Your eyebrows raise in question as you point to his hand that was now smothered in melted chocolate ice cream. His eyes widen when he notices the mess that had occurred during the time (well) spent admiring you.

You grab the end of his sleeve to pull him closer to you and get out a tissue, wordlessly cleaning up his hand. He watches you (I mean are we surprised), cerulean eyes softening behind his sunglasses, “Aww look at you being a cute little girlfriend for me.” he teases but quickly shuts up once you send a sharp glare his way. "Shutting up, yes ma'am got it" he mock-salutes, the grin still on his face was so contagious you couldn't help but crack a soft smile when you look up at him. And god, he decided right then and there that he'd have no problem barking for you without demand if you keep looking at him with those eyes.

But then, something else caught the loverboy's attention.

"OW SATORU GOJO WHAT THE FUCK" your soft smile was now replaced with a frustrated grimace, eyebrows scrunched in frustration as you shoot a deadly look towards your boyfriend who had just launched a punch into your arm (it was an extremely soft punch but you liked to exaggerate) "Sorry babe, saw a yellow car I had to do it. I don't make the rules." He shrugs nonchalantly, pointing towards said yellow car that was now parked next to the sidewalk.

"Toru…"

"Hm? What's up? You're jealous I saw it before you aren't you, it's okay babe I'll let you have it next time…" His rambles are interrupted when he hears your next words. "Toru that's not yellow."

"HAH WHAT DO YOU MEAN YES IT IS"

"IT'S LITERALLY LIME GREEN YOU IDIOT"

"...oh…heh uhh well it's yellow…ish..."

"Are you colour blind or something Toru, looks like those sunglasses are affecting your vision." You tease, poking his side with a finger, endless giggles flowing out of you as he lets out the highest pitched shriek you've heard in your life. "Y/nnnn that wasn't fair I was caught off guard." he whines as he dramatically holds his 'wounded' side.

"Says the colourblind loser who just punched me because he saw a lime green car. I can't believe you just punched me Toru I'm hurt." Your hand is clutched to your heart as you pout up at him. If he could be dramatic, you'd just have to be ten times worse. You let out a huff, walking away with crossed arms. You have your back to him but you could practically see Satoru deflate.

"Wait y/n, baby, light and love of my life, most gorgeous woman I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. You know I love youuu pretty girl c'mon noww. I didn't mean it I'm sorryyy don't be mad, y/nnnnnn'' His whines are consistent as he trails after you like a kicked puppy. The smile on your face is one of pure satisfaction as you turn around and hook your arm through his, enjoying the way he physically lightens up again. "Hmmm I don't know if you've earned my forgiveness yet you know, you did punch me for no reason Satoru." You say casually.

His eyes widened at the use of his name. What happened to 'Toru'? She never calls me Satoru… "W-wait baby I'll do anything I promise. You can even punch me as much as you want when we get home I swear I won't even fight it and um… I'll do all the chores this week, you won't have to lift a finger. Just please forgive me babe I'm sorryyy…" Promises and apologies continue to spill out of his mouth as you both make your way home. You with a smug smile on your face and Satoru pleading in your ear.

Oh yeah. You've definitely got Satoru Gojo wrapped around your finger.

ᯓ★ prettyngeto © 2023. all rights reserved - please do not plagiarise, translate, steal and repost any of my works on any social platforms for whatever reason.

[wowbright]

Anderson’s Guide to the Birds of North America, Chapter 9: Into You

Summary: Fourteen scenes from the lives of Blaine Anderson, grad student and avid birder, and Kurt Hummel, clothing designer and Vogue writer, from before their first meeting during the COVID lockdowns of spring of 2020 through falling in love. Written for the Klaine Valentine’s Challenge 2025.

Also on AO3.

~~~

Chapter 9: Into You

Kurt designed the costumes. Blaine put up flyers around the neighborhood. Rachel posted announcements to Facebook and NextDoor. Cooper, on the evening of the event, marched up and down the street like a town crier calling everyone to their windows a half hour before sunset.

Kurt and Blaine set up their folding chairs six feet apart on the sidewalk opposite Kurt and Rachel's apartment. Blaine set his digital camera onto a tripod and waited.

Above them, people leaned on windowsills and sat on fire escapes. Across the street, people trickled out of their buildings and came over to the sidewalk where Kurt and Blaine already sat, some with chairs or blankets to sit on, others opting to stand or lean against the wall, all fanning out in socially distanced bubbles.

It was essential, Cooper had said, to “get everyone watching us.” And there everyone was, waiting for the performance.

Rachel crawled out onto the fire escape and straightened her costume. She looked wonderful, if Kurt did say so himself. Blaine turned on the camera and gave her the thumbs up.

There's a place for us—

Her voice rang through the air. Everyone on the street and in their windows fell silent. The only sounds were distant cars and the mumble of talk radio from someone’s apartment.

Somewhere a place for us. Peace and quiet and open air Wait for us Somewhere.

Kurt heard someone whisper “She’s as good as Barbra!”

Rachel didn't sing the entire song from West Side Story. They had decided it should be just long enough to get the neighbors’ attention, to make them long for a repeat later in the performance. We'll find a new way of living, We'll find a way of forgiving. Somewhere . . . Somewhere... Rachel faded out and stared off into a nearby treetop.

Cooper appeared from around the corner, his voice booming down the block. “But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she.”

It had required a considerable amount of energy on the part of both Kurt and Blaine to dissuade Cooper from actually climbing the fire escape. First of all, social distancing rules were still in place. Second of all, letting people jump up onto the fire escape for recreational purposes was against Kurt and Rachel's lease, if not also illegal.

Rachel had been of little help during these arguments, because she did enjoy a dramatic staging, and besides, an emergency moratorium on evictions was in place, so would it really matter if they violated the lease? It wasn't until Kurt brought up the possibility that Cooper might slip and go kersplat on the sidewalk that she and Cooper conceded—not because Cooper was worried about his own health and safety (“I'm willing to die for my art!” he had declared) but because if he ended up in the hospital, he would be another straw added to the back of the camel that was their already overtaxed healthcare system.

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow,” Rachel said with the perfect degree of pathos. Blaine dabbed his eyes with a kerchief that matched his mask.

The spectators roared for more.

Rachel and Cooper gave it to them, in the form of two duets: “Le Balcon” from Gérard Presgurvic’s musical Roméo et Juliette: de la Haine à l'Amour and a full performance of “Somewhere.”

Now it was Kurt's turn to pull out a handkerchief. The song had taken on a whole new layer for him in light of the lockdown and Blaine. Things were hard right now, but someday there would be a time and place for holding hands and truly living.

Cooper and Rachel took their bows to more thunderous applause. “That’s how I want it!” Cooper shouted, egging the neighbors on in their admiration of his performance until everyone was too tired of shouting.

“Look what you started!” Kurt said to Blaine as people drifted back inside their apartments.

Blaine shook his head, but his eyes smiled over his mask. “Cooper was driving me nuts. I had to think of something to keep us both from cracking. And I had wooing people on their balconies on my mind. Put two and two together, and voila!”

“Well, as good as Romeo was at wooing,” Kurt said with a soft smile hidden by his mask, “I know someone who's even better at it.”

“Do you, now?”

“I do.”

[fertilize-my-eggs]

King of decay

New game ch.1

Ch.2 ch.3 ch.4 A03

A/N: since everyone pick king shigaraki in the poll, I couldn't resist making this story asap. I was into this idea for the longest. If you guys enjoy this story please let me know. So this is a dark romantic fantasy theme au where it doesn't follow the mha plot but I'll add characters into this story, I'll post this every Friday if this get popular. ( Not this Friday but the next one. ) anyway I hope y'all enjoy this one. MINOR N ANTIS DNI, IT'S 18+ AND YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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New game

—>press start (click)

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Choose a player?

—> Player one (click)

Player two

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Will you have a love story or not?

—> yes (click)

No

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Select a difficulty

Easy

Normal

Hard

—> legendary (click)

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Are you sure you want to continue?

—>yes (click)

No

Shigaraki's pov

It's the beginning of my life, I lost my family by accidentally killing them with my bare hands. I met a strange man before the incident, I didn't know much until I was cursed with it, I couldn't touch anything and anyone with these hands.

Blood covered my hands as I sob uncontrollably, I ran away from my village to live in the forest alone.

The days went on as my clothes got dirty and I felt cold, I lay on an old tree as a resting spot.

No one in my village helped me, I was truly alone, I curled into a ball and couldn't stop crying.

Until I hear him, the strange man that brought me home as I look up with tears.

“ Are you lost? ” he had a sincere smile as he put a hand on my head and pull me close.

“ don't worry, I'll take care of you young one.”

“ What's your name? ” he looked into my eyes as I stare in silence.

…

“ tenko shimura..” he has a comfort aura as he smiles softly.

“ tenko… you will be reborn, you don't need your old life from that village. ” I tilt my head in confusion as he pet my hair softly.

“ you will be known as tomura shigaraki as the new~.. come on little one.” and I don't remember much about my childhood but I had everything a kid asked for, a massive bedroom, a feast, so many maids to help me out.

As I grew older into my early adulthood, my old man king Shigaraki made me become a king.

He wished for two things for me, a new heir and to rule the world with a fist.

A new heir?uh I'm not sure about it since I'm cursed with decay. I can't do anything like that but fear of not finding a wife and starting a family is running out of time.

I sit on my throne lazily as my mentor Kurogiri, he was around when Afo brought me into his kingdom when I was a child.

He cleared his throat as he had a princess in line and in hand in marriage as I sighed softly.

None of them catch my attention, they're a bit too rude and entitled little brats that pisses me off.

“ Switch one would you like your highness? ” I roll my eyes as I tilt my head at him then at the women.

“ ehh.. they're not interesting to me. ” Kurogiri bowed his head as he apologized.” I deeply apologize your highness, we'll find more princesses!! ” he politely escorted the women away as they looked neither offended nor annoyed about wasting their time. At least I didn't send them to the dungeon to go rot.

This is wasting my time, I need some fresh air, I told my guards not to worry about me as I'll be taking a long walk.

I head quietly to my master bedroom as I dressed myself in civilian clothes. Baggy black outfit and deep red cloak.

I pull my hood over my long messy white hair as I begin to scroll to the village nearby.

This village is doing a bit better these days, afo was an evil man and so evil that he forced everyone to bow to his knees and give him money. I didn't understand back then how he brainwashed them into thinking he's a good king and made them starve.

I destroyed that man after he was laying in bed after I became king. He didn't say anything, he seemed like he's ready to pass away so I ended his suffering by decaying his face. Putting his ashes into a jar on the shelf never went into his old room afterwards.

I passionately hate him and how he's treating everyone in this kingdom.

I begin to walk into a flea market, looking around as I observe the surroundings.

This village has gotten a lot better, there were people enjoying their own life and gossip as I eavesdropped.

“ Man, that new king seems more intimidating than the last one.”

“ yeah but at least he's a bit helpful by making us have better jobs and- ” I was too distracted by their conversation but I didn't realize a young woman bumped into me, costing me to catch her while she was falling.

My eyes wide in shock, too stunned by what was happening.

You were covered in dirt, covered in rags as you immediately apologized." Oh God!! I'm sorry Mister, I didn't see you coming.” as you're rambling, I wasn't shocked by bumping into you. No no no.. you didn't decay immediately, my hands were on your arms for a second and you didn't get affected by this.

Strange as I thought to myself, could this be my new lover? A person that is immune to this cursed and be alive.

“ it's o-okay.. don't worry about it sweetheart.” I give you a playful wink as I walk away. Who is this woman and I need to make her mine.

Mine and mine only, seeing you blushed even though you had a rough life with dirty old clothes on and hair that hasn't been washed for days.

I couldn't help but find you adorable and remind me a lot like myself when I was young and in the forest once.

I turn my head back as you slowly walk away from people who have jobs selling fruit on the streets.

You definitely peak my interest, I need to follow you.

[meeshrox]

Find the word game (part deux)

Rules: I'll give you five words. Find the word (or closest approximation you can) in your works and post an excerpt. Tag others to play and give them new words too!

Thank you for the tag @anacdoce!! I loved reading through all your snippets and I can't wait to read them all in your published work!

I have only one long fic, All It Cost Me, so that's where I'll pull these.

My words are: hurt, fangs, love, embrace, and hands.

Hurt

Astarion’s hand rested on her lower belly while he nuzzled his face into her hair. Was that a sniff? Is he smelling me right now? Within seconds, he stood and gently guided Hydie’s back to lie down on the sofa below him. “Let me care for you, please.” “I suppose it couldn’t hurt more if you fawned over me. But tread carefully, you’ve seen the damage I can do when I get mad,” she said. Hydie closed her eyes to breathe through another wave of cramps when she felt Astarion pull her underclothes down to her hip bones and knelt to lie his cheek against her belly. Usually this behavior was very much welcome, but today it was simply annoying.

(Chapter 19 - Moonblood)

Fangs

It really had been a long time since they had a date that didn’t include business like arson or a stakeout, but he didn’t have to be that aggressively attractive. She caught herself holding her breath as he approached. “Darling, what a tasty morsel you are. I hope whomever you are waiting for gets lost out in those winding streets.” Astarion held out his hand to Hydie. “Oh, quite presumptuous. You’ll need to try a little harder than that to keep my attention.” Hydie swallowed hard and steeled her nerves for banter then delicately placed her hand in his. He brought it to his lips for a kiss. She let out a quiet gasp when he suddenly flicked his tongue over the back of her hand, then gently raked his fang over her knuckles.

(Chapter 5 - Dismantled)

Love

She did as he commanded but when she got close, he set the flogger down and swept her into his arms. Before she could even blink, she was seated on the table edge and he was kneeling beside her on the floor. But she knew better than to question his actions. This was the time for obedience. “Little love, how I adore this body. I shall pay you proper reverence before I ruin you,” he said. Astarion knelt down to begin a feather-touch caress at Hydie’s ankles, drifting up her leg to admire the strength of her calves. He placed delicate kisses along the apex of her thighs and whispered into her skin. She couldn’t hear it nor did she care, the sensation of his breath sent a shiver through her.

(Chapter 16 - Gossip)

Embrace

Astarion reached behind him and grabbed the soap, then lathered and started to wash Hydie’s body, cleansing her in a ritual of worship. She thought about her newly-stitched skin and how it mirrored her reborn self. When he was finished, Hydie ducked her head underwater to rinse off. When she came back up and wrung the water from her eyes, she reached out to take the soap and whispered, “do you want me to…“ But he pulled his hand away in refusal. “Let me take care of you, love.” He briskly washed himself, stood and took a towel, and pulled Hydie up into a linen-soft hug. Astarion helped her out of the tub and dried off every inch of her body. She wrapped herself in a robe and slowly ambled to the bed as he dried and dressed himself, and they met under the sheets, swallowed by each other’s embrace.

(Chapter 13 - Revival)

Hands

Then she moved her hands to the laces of her trousers and untied slowly, while keeping eye contact with Astarion. Her pants were tight enough that she needed to wriggle them around the swell of her ass and hips, and she giggled as she struggled to take them off in a sexy way. But his eyes lit up at the sound of her laughter. She finished stripping down before him, the candlelight dancing across his face as he watched.

(Chapter 7 - The Clowder)

Here are my five words: silence, magic, snap, fire, and nothing.

If you read this (thank you!) and are inspired to, please share your own.

[the-muppet-watch]

The rot cult

This is just a post archiving what i find on the rot cult the muppet joker (called Kermit throughout this) moved in with

The four "members"/ people who live in what I'm calling "the rot house" are: Athena (the leader of the cult), Sage (the first member), Milton (the second member), and of course Kermit (the clown prince of crime himself).

From Sage and Miltons blogs it is confirmed that they are siblings. Milton states that him and Sage met in a hospital, and that his parents are dead. Sage states that "Our parents aren't dead" and called meeting in the hospital is "a weird way to phrase it" (Im not directly looking at the posts so these aren't word for word).

Sage does state that he met Athena on deviantart. Milton moved in later after being kicked out of/ left their cousins house who he was staying with after his parents kicked him out. Milton, however, is extremely vague when posting so it is hard to tell what he truly means in some situations. It also seems he is deep into the cult due to claiming that he "needs to be punished" and claiming that it isn't a cult or an abusive situation.

The sleeping arrangements goes as follows: Athena gets the only bed with four out of six of the blankets (the other two are earned by the top two members of the house). Kermit sleeps under Athenas bed and has conformed the blanket arrangements on his first night there. Sage sleeps on the couch but has proved that the sleeping arrangements can switch when Athena has been made upset, proven by when Milton got the couch after Sage broke something of Athenas. Milton sleeps in the closet which "The Rot" has been stored.

On one of Kermits blog posts he posted an image of a glass with what looked like it had left over blood in it. he later found what could be blood vials. Milton has responded to asks questioning him if he was anemic do to him posting about him being extremely woozy at times, and Athena has posted responding to an ask saying "Milton > Sage" to which she responded "Only in the terms of blood flavor" (around the 25 july 2024). She has many posts about being a vampire and has even banned Italian food from the home due to it having many recipes that include garlic.

A reddit post was posted by a neighbor titled "WIBTA if i told property management about my smelly neighbors?" where I will post about more in depth later but for now I am just using it for some basic information. Using this post we can definitively know it is an apartment due to the update claiming "The bad news is that the smell is now coming through the vents, and we had to turn off the ac to air out the apartment." the op also states "This usually isn't a problem, but in recent weeks I've noticed the smell of death coming from their door and a fly problem which is slowly becoming a me problem at my place of residence." He goes into some detail on their Tumblr accounts after Athena which he calls A gives hers, Sage's and Milton's accounts to him and inviting him to join the coven.

The reddit post and the Kermit plush rescue arc has also brought to mosts attention that Sage is the only one with a car. Kermit asked Sage to drive him to his moms house believing to have left him there and was planning a break in. he was unaware that Sage didn't have any obligation to drive him back as stated in the house rules Kermit seemed to be unaware of at the time and had to walk back kermitless. Milton has also claimed multiple times that even though they have an etsy shop they do not get the money do to Sage managing thee money.

This part of what I am calling "The Rot Saga" seems to be heating up with Kermit learning that the Kermit plushie was put in the rot for days on end and from what i can see from the blogs from when I am typing this, has most likely to have been burned. Kermit has stated he has stabbed Gerard Way out of Athenas body and I'll wait for more info before writing about any of it.

I also want to add in a theory that the black mold found by Kermit recently is causing some of the things in the house to happen. We don't have much if any indication of how long the mold has been there (I'm not a mold expert), if Athena lived there before the mold showed up, or if she held the beliefs before the mold showed up. However black mold is dangerous and I wouldn't be surprised if it is contributing to all the issues.

I'll try to write more as more things happen.

[looneyleyle]

so, so pretty ~ b. loomis

synopsis: a party? while a masked killer is on the loose? what a great idea.

warnings: ghostface, scream-typical violence

words: 647

becca's pov

the last thing i remembered was being knocked out by the one and only masked murderer.

how did i get there? let's look at what happened.

stu, being the idiotic shithead that he is, decided that the best time to throw a party would be when a masked killer is on the loose, slicing up a bunch of high schoolers. i wouldn't have gone, but billy insisted. no, he didn't insist, he begged me to go. he all but got on his knees and pleaded for me to go. i didn't understand what the big deal was, i told him we could just watch horror movies in my room instead, but he was dead set on going to this party.

so, being the good hook up buddy i am, i obliged.

how did i become billy's hook up buddy? well, after sid accused him of being the killer, their relationship came to an abrupt end. not that they had been doing very well prior to that. so, when billy showed up at my door one night, telling me that him and sid were over, i knew exactly what he wanted. i mean, being a rebound hook up didn't feel great, but when a hot man comes to your door asking to hook up, you don't say no.

so, i went to his friend's dumb party, even though he wasn't even there. he told me he would be a bit late, but after an hour of party festivities, i figured he wasn't gonna show. i instead spent my time with randy and the others on the couch, watching halloween. with the news of the principal being hung by the field posts, the crowd thinned until it was just me and randy. i couldn't pay attention to the movie, i had watched it nearly a hundred times. and where had everyone gone? i mean, a couple dudes left to check out mr. himbry's body, but where was everyone else.

"hey randy, i'll be right back, i'm gonna go check on something." i told him. i tensed up as soon as the words left my mouth, and so did he.

"becca!! you of all people should know the rules!" i mumbled an apology to him but left the room nonetheless, with him muttering something about finding me with my throat slit later on. i first went to check upstairs, assuming at least stu and tatum would be up there. the bedrooms were all empty, so i made my way back downstairs. as soon as i got to the last steps, i saw something move out of the corner of my eye. i turned towards the living room just in time to see the killer raise their hand and strike me hard on the head.

when i came to, i was being shaken. i opened my eyes to see billy, covered in blood.

"becca, baby, are you ok??" he asked, concern etched onto his pretty face.

"yeah, i think so, but, fuck" i cried, feeling the stinging sensation on my cheek. billy reached out to my face, gliding a finger over whatever was hurting me. his finger came back covered in blood, in my blood. i felt like i was going to faint. billy came closer to me, quietly shushing me as i began to hyperventilate. tears prickled my eyes, what had happened?

billy leaned down and kissed me on the forehead.

"becca, baby?" he whispered to me. i let out a slight whimper, urging him to continue. he brought his lips towards my ear, kissing my neck on the way, before whispering,

"you look so pretty covered in blood."

and with that, a sharp pain erupted in my stomach. i looked down to see billy's hand plunging a knife straight into me. he then twisted the knife, bringing a whole new level of pain to my body.

"so, so pretty."

[eulchu]

im gonna get the record straight and be completely transparent.

i have never lurked critblr or leaktwt. i barely know who any of these people are. if you're critblr and i have you blocked it's because you interacted with dtblr and your url sounded weird, and people fact checked what kind of people were under your likes. or in your following list. you guys don't really know how to be subtle

many of us have been here for long enough to know urls of the people who post the most fucked up posts, because once in a while you'll pop up on the based on your likes tab.

implying im in critblr is fucking insane. i can genuinely tell all of you the exact number of leaked info i know. the truth is if you're in dtblr and you recieve more than 3 asks a day you ARE gonna get freak anons bomb dropping leaks in your askbox. there's unfortunately very little way of modding that. we try our best by blocking but every single day we get harassed with information we don't fucking want.

i am not in charge of the fandom and i will never be. tumblr is the least fucking relevant site in the fandom hierarchy. i'm no god of the fandom i don't make the rules of the fandom and i am under any impression than im more important than any other blog in dtblr. my blog would be NOTHING without all the members of dtblr. i am not special i am not famous. it's not my fault people who don't like being active blogs come into my inbox to express themselves. i don't pretend to be any authority figure. i say shit and if you agree with me cool and if you don't, that's cool too.

i am so fucking sorry that some of you have a complex over blogs that get attention, but that's not my fault. i have been here for Years of course i'm gonna have a big number of followers. especially since october all dtblr has tried so hard to not become what it used to be, and if you have a complex that's on you. there's tens of blogs with very little followers who are amazing. because a following count means NOTHING.

it's crazy to tell me im only finding reasons to shittalk dizzy and alison. i didn't know dizzy prior to their gross behavior regarding the shit they write about and the people they're friends with. if you know me well enough you'd know i have 0 problems with saying i hate x person for whatever personal grudge. i have done that plenty of times. i don't have to hide behind any excuse to shittalk someone.

calling me petty is ridiculous. petty over what girl? i'm just here to vibe idgaf what other people are up to if it's harmless shit.

yet another clinically fucking insane statement to make. i very politely to invite you to scroll my blog and tell me where i have confirmed anything. the only things i have talked about are dream's ex and those "body issues". i have never verified any kind of leak and you're insane for thinking i have. i genuinely invite you to send me one of those instances you talk about.

in regards of "a bunch of blogs complaining" i'd love to know what kind of blogs you're talking about because as far as i know the only conversation that's happened before regarding this topic, was something extremely similar to what i'm saying right now and not at all close to verifying any kind of leak. if you get those blogs on your dash that's a you problem and you should curate your experience better, but don't drag me into it.

yes. all of this. yes.

i do apologize for the confusion. dizzy didn't write that fic but they did defend it and they've co-written together before.

i'm not a lurker and i don't know them, don't think i know all this information because i'm a stalker. i don't even know alison's tumblr. some of these people used to be friends. friends of a lot of people in the fandom. but you can only cover your behavior for so fucking long, and then people talk, and shit gets brought up.

both alison and dizzy have done more than morally incorrect things in the past for other fandoms. other than the choice of the kind of fics they write and bookmark, they both are 100% friends with people who discuss doxxes like it's top of the morning news. dizzy particularly was part of the phandom in the side of phannies who harassed and were weirdly invasive of their lives to the point where it affected their mental health.

again, read what you want like what you like but be aware that these are the people you're reading fics of. hey if you're one of them, kudos to you. but genuinely. don't even try to say they're not the kind of people im describing right now. people across different fandoms who have had the displeasure of knowing them will tell you the same thing.

[nickgerlich]

When The Beer Goes Flat

Nearly 10 months have passed since one of the biggest consumer boycotts began. It all started last April when AB InBev, maker of Bud Light, sent a one-off beer can to trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney bearing her likeness. It was posted to social media, and the sh*t storm followed in seconds.

There was no reeling in the social media tirade, no walking it back. At a time when the US had started to show signs of being more accepting of the L, G, and B, they just weren’t ready yet for the T. And for a prominent US brand to align itself with the T was a hard beer to swallow.

So the boycotting ensued. Now before we go too much farther, consumer boycotting has been a thing for many years, but even in the social media era, when word spreads like fire that just had a few gallons of accelerant poured on it, they were usually forgotten after about six months. People simply got on with their lives.

AB InBev, the Belgian-owned parent company, saw its stock plummet, as well as sales of Bud Light. While the company saw global revenues and profits increase in 2023, the opposite was true for the US. The brand simply has not recovered yet, in spite of efforts last fall to align itself with football, including the NFL, but also college football. Gen-Z students, you know, are far more accepting in matters of LGBTQ (all the letters).

I must note that this was not the first time that Bud Light had supported the LGBTQ community. For several years it produced rainbow-colored 16-ounce aluminum bottles, and has been associated with supportive events for 20 years. I don’t recall anyone flinching until last April.

So where did the boycotters go? They switched to Modelo Light, a Mexican lager. But here’s where the irony starts. Modelo is also owned by AB InBev. It’s just that when AB InBev purchased that brewery earlier this century, in order to satisfy the SEC in the US, they allowed Constellation Brands to do the importing, distribution, and marketing. While Constellation is certainly happy to have the additional sales, former Bud Light drinkers need to be aware that they are still feeding the beast they came to loathe.

And now we find ourselves staring down Super Bowl 58, and Bud Light—as well as Budweiser and Michelob Ultra—will make advertising appearances. AB InBev has been blowing and going ever since the controversial moment, as if nothing ever happened. And also of note, this is strictly a US matter. It elicited a big yawn elsewhere around the world.

AB InBev is confident that sales will recover, although the six-month rule is now in need of revision. This one clearly has been an exception. Furthermore, the attention it brought to LGBTQ issues then spread to June, otherwise known as Pride Month, and the activities that other companies were rolling out. Target in particular took a hit, and moved its Pride merchandise from front-of-store to other places farther back.

In terms of its stock price, it has recovered from most of its losses. Shares were trading in the mid-60s at the time the shock wave was felt, plummeted to about $52 later in the year, and then rose to $66 earlier this month. It now sits at $62.14 per share.

From a marketing perspective, the big takeaway is that the number one light beer in the US lost its crown, only to be replaced by the parent company’s other brand from Mexico. Furthermore, it was caused by public perception—or is it misperception?— of support for one letter of an acronym, demonstrating that when it comes to voting with your pocketbook, it may not just be about taste, but matters of the heart and mind.

Personally, I am not affected by any of this. I don’t consume Bud Light, Modelo, or any other AB InBev products, other than an occasional Hopadillo from its Karbach craft beer division. Otherwise, I shy away from mass-produced beers. But I couldn’t care less about who appears on a beer can, whether a one-off or one produced by the truckload. My value system is summarized in four words: Love all, serve all. Oh, and if I (or anyone else) doesn’t like what they’re seeing, look away.

But that’s just me, and apparently there are still many for whom this is a big deal. We’ll see if Bud Light is able to shake off the cobwebs on aging stacks of beer in stores.

Dr “I’ll Be Watching With A Cold One In Hand” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[terrible-super-mario-ideas]

Paper Mario: Sticker Star

Ok, so...I'm grateful for the submission (The truth is this is the first one I've received since starting the blog up again; every other submission has been in the inbox for years) but if I'm being honest, I knew this exact thing would come up when I first made the blog, and I didn't want it. That's what I had in mind when writing the third rule for submissions...

...But apparently back in 2021 I was not very good at rule writing, because even I have a hard time imagining someone figuring out that that's what it meant, and I'm the one who wrote it. I also maybe overestimated the blog's reach by thinking that kind of submission would cause discourse, but I feel the spirit behind the rule is the same. I've always hoped the blog can make people who love the Mario series laugh, and putting things on it that amount to "Thing = Bad" feels overplayed, and the negativity behind it is less fun than I'd like it to be.

Sorry to kinda hijack your submission, but on the one hand it wouldn't feel fair to just ignore it; I can't really fault you as the rule was poorly-worded (as well as hard to find due to how Tumblr formats blogs), though on the other if I just posted it as-is I worry I'd get more similar stuff. It also ultimately brought to my attention that I really need to rewrite the rules and pin them (which I'm working on right now), so I'm grateful for that as well. I'm still not too experienced with managing a blog like this, so I apologize for the confusion and the weirdness of this post.

[atmymercy]

Hi, how are you? I would like join your tarot especial!

Quote that reminds me of you:

Mostly because you generally give me the vibes of someone who does her best to look at the brighter side of situations and to keep going regardless of fear. Let me know how you feel about it tho lol I personally loved this quote and is often a great motivator for me :)

My question: what should I expect for my love life in the next 3 months?

Thank you so much for your attention, time and energy!

hello gsp! i'm pretty great! how about you?? and of course, you can! woot! let's do this!

awww thank you, honey! i really do try because honestly, i used to look into the darkness way too much! lolol but hell, it's right there! it's a bit hard to ignore, right?? lol plus we all have a dark side and i think when we neglect that darkness, it can become overwhelming. finding sweetness in all shades has really brought me a lot of triumphs! "i had to go through hell" lol thank you, spirit! yes! so yes! i think you got me good, honey! lol might as well grab what we can now because this moment shall never return! love it!

for you, i got the knight of cups (reversed), death (reversed) & the sun.

so your spirit guides are saying you will have some success in love within three months but only after you make some necessary changes, regarding yourself and how you view love. it would seem you are not acting in the most mature way when it comes to love. i'm hearing spirit is trying to send you options and love matches but you disregard them for sometimes petty reasons. or for reasons that of being immature when you are also showing some of these same shades. aka you don't like who we are sending you? well they're only sending those options become you continue to stay on this emotional maturity level rather than leveling up! you're ready to level up but you also know how much hard work it is! so you kind of want to drag your feet about it but your spirit guides are saying that all the "good men" have already been through these lessons too! so time to join them over there! lol your spirit guides are blunt right now!

hope you enjoyed it! please give feedback or buy me a coffee when you can! if you want to explore this further, please consider a private read as well. also thank you for sharing with me!♡

love & light!

-tea

as always, my rules & info are in my pinned post if you're interested in a reading of your own!

[conquiistador]

RULES.

Thank you for reading my rules! This post is meant to make my rules accessible for mobile users. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!

Do not approach Doflamingo if you are triggered by someone physically taking control of your muse.

THIS BLOG IS;

Independent | Multi-Verse | Multi-Fandom | Few-ship | OC-Friendly | Crossover-Friendly | Mutuals only | NSFW .

WHEN APPROACHING DOFLAMINGO;

Make sure you understand that Doflamingo is an incredibly strong individual (especially in his canon verse), and he's not going to go easy on your muse if your muse insults him | Doflamingo is a 10 feet (305cm) tall man, and it's very unlikely that your muse will tell him to ' get out of the way ', so please, just don't do this | Doflamingo is nothing short of a celebrity, and unless your muse has been living in a cave, they'll know who he is | If you are triggered by someone physically manipulating your muse, I suggest not approaching Doflamingo ( at least not in his canon verse ), I don't see him using his powers on your muse as godmodding | Doflamingo will and can kill your muse without hesitation or warning if provoked. |

VERSES;

See the ' verse ' page for verse information, or send me an ask/IMs if you have questions about them!

DUPLICATES / DOUBLES;

You write Doflamingo too? That's hella! Come to me and we'll do all the twin/clone/time-swap or WHATEVER AUs! Imagine the chaos two birds can make.

FOLLOWING;

I only follow roleplay blogs. | I typically don’t follow these type of blogs: blogs with no tag system, personal blogs, rp blogs who also work as a personal blog, blogs that don’t cut their posts, don’t-follow-me-if-you-interact-with-user-x blogs, blogs that posts drama/callouts. | I am selective when following underage mods.

PLEASE DON'T;

Godmod | Metamod | Hate | Involve me in drama | Continue asks as threads if we're not mutuals | Write me starters if we're not mutuals. | Push your headcanons about Doflamingo onto my portrayal - this is my take on Doflamingo, not yours.

TAGS & TRIGGERS;

I do my best to tag all triggers | Please tag your NSFW images | If you have something you want me to tag, feel free to ask.

SHIPPING;

Selective Few-ship | Ship-exclusive, though I don't demand/expect ship-exclusivity in return.

THREADS;

Open to all types | Prefers Multi-Para & Novella | Will rarely do one-liners | Will rarely write crack  | Fair warning - I am very slow with my replies | Replies are mostly queued.

MOD;

Toby | They&Them | 28yo | Taken | Norway | Mutuals may ask for discord | Bad at answering OOC messages | I can come off as strict but I swear I'm chill | Loves sailing | Find me over at my main blog; Nnoitra Gilga,

[coffee-430]

The Royal Harem (Smut)

Synopsis: You have been working hard constantly every single day, finding ways on how to improve your nation. Your attention was solely upon the needs of your Kingdom, to the point where you have forgotten the needs of your own harem.

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Thoma, Childe

Warnings: sub!genshin, dom!reader, handjob, blowjob, reader has a cock, anal penetration, licking/sucking, use of toys, overstimulation, cum swallowing, belly bulge

Note: This is my first ever post here in Tumblr. So I hope I didn't disappoint anyone reading this story too much. Also, the reader is gender-neutral.

Although, you do have secretaries to help you with the load of paperwork— but somehow, they, too, were just as busy as you. You couldn't really complain either, since you're literally the sovereign of your very big Kingdom, and doing some paperwork was just the bare minimum.

ㅤ

You heaved out a sigh. The papers on your table never seem to stop itself from piling even more anytime soon.

However it was tiring, nonetheless. And you were getting bored of it. But as you know, you would do anything to keep your Kingdom thrive and be evermore prosperous than it already was.

"The perks of ruling a Kingdom," Dryly, you humoured yourself. Your eyes boredly stared at the piles of documents right in front of you.

A knock resonated from the door and a soft sound of a woman could be heard behind it.

"Your majesty, I have brought you the backlog of papers from last week."

"Come in."

The door opened and revealed Ganyu holding a few stacks of papers. She smiled softly at the sight of you as she walked towards your table.

"Miss Jean wanted to finish them for you, but unfortunately it requires the monarch's attention."

"I see. That's no problem, put them here please."

She did what she was told and carefully placed them down. You thanked her and Ganyu gave you a small curtsy. But as she lays her eyes on your desk, concern swallows her whole.

"You've been working for quite a long while now, shouldn't you take a break, your majesty?"

You look up from your paper and meet her gaze, "Don't fret, I'm fine. They're just papers anyway. I'm already used to this."

"But I fear you might be burning yourself out." The female adepti argued, "You always nag me whenever I overwork myself into taking a break..."

Your (e/c) eyes look up at her expectantly, "And you claim how the tables have turned?"

Ganyu let out a small laugh, pink hue faintly dusted her cheeks as she nodded. You playfully scoff and lightly push your chair back.

"Alright alright," You say, raising your hands in defeat. "I'll perhaps rest for a bit. I wouldn't dare to push my lady's worry and have her dwell on my health."

She blushed at your statement, "O-Oh, a wise choice, your majesty." And quickly bowed before leaving.

Deciding that was it for the day, you stood up from your seat and almost fell. You have been sitting for a long while that your legs fell asleep.

And the moment you decided to use them— you began to cringe at the prickling sensation in your legs. A small groan came out of you as you furrowed your eyebrows at the uncomfortable feeling.

You should have at least got out of your seat for some time while you had work. This simply could've been prevented.

But it's not like you won't do it again anyway. After all, you don't think you'll remember to at least move your legs while you work.

Walking to your bed chambers was tiring. Every time you get to think of the thought of laying on your bed— you would feel your legs on the verge of collapse.

But the bustling noises in your palace would always snap you back to reality, preventing you from further indulging your thoughts of your bed.

Softly, you sighed, as you set your eyes upon the familiar engravings of your chambers' doors.

However, due to your tired state, you have failed to notice the lack of guards who were supposed to be near your doors.

You jog a little, feeling excited to finally run into sleep's arms.

"Ah, bed. I can't wait to embrace you."

You sang as you opened the doors.

But you halted as the feeling of surprise swallowed you whole as the room was filled with silence.

"—!"

There, inside your room, were 5 men wearing nothing but their underwear and white satin robes.

Their eyes widened, they looked like a deer in the headlights. But then relaxed once they realized it was just the person they were waiting for.

Your mouth hung open. You weren't certainly expecting this. (E/c) eyes scanned each man inside the room.

There was Diluc, Zhongli, Childe, Thoma, and Kaeya.

"..."

You then began to break the silence, "What on Teyvat is going here?"

They snapped back from their shock at the sound of your voice. And Kaeya was the first to approach you. His signature smile appeared on his face.

"Your majesty," He bowed, "What perfect timing you have. We were just about to give you a little surprise."

Childe then approaches you next with a wide smile, "But you arrived a bit too early though. Well, no matter. Since their majesty is here, we shall give them our surprise."

"Hope we're not bothering you, your majesty." Thoma smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

You stared at them, unsure. What was going with them? You didn't recall having a rendezvous with any of your concubines. Seeing the confused look on your face, Zhongli decided to explain themselves.

"We've noticed that you've been awfully busy and you no longer spend any time with us anymore. So we decided, if you don't come to us, then we'll come to you."

"Of course, not all of us had agreed to share you and your time, but we know their majesty doesn't like it whenever we don't get along with the others." Diluc added, having a look of displeasure and his red eyes glared at Kaeya— who just merely shot him with an unaffected smile.

Oh right...

You have been so focused on your Kingdom's needs that you forgot to tend to your lovers and now they planned to have you to them right now.

Honestly, you were surprised that they managed to agree to share you— albeit reluctantly.

"So..." You began, "In conclusion, all of you missed me and now you're all needy."

Childe and Kaeya gave you a close-eyed smile. While Diluc blushed and looked away, Zhongli timidly nodded his head, and Thoma let out a nervous chuckle.

"I see..."

It was then you closed your door and took a step forward. Your eyes stared at all of them and a smirk appeared on your features.

Seeing your usual dominating behaviour, all of them visibly shivered in your presence.

"Then, shall we begin?"

---

And now here you are.

Currently, you are lying on your bed. Your hand was holding Diluc steadily as you thrust your cock inside him. The red head had his eyes rolled back and his back arched whenever your cock would hit that spot. His nails dug into your thighs, gritting his teeth at the euphoric sensation inside him.

"Ah ah ah—!"

He bounced shamelessly on top of you. Becoming undone as he came for the umpteenth time.

And Thoma was sitting on your face, being absolutely ruined by your skillful mouth. His grip on his ass was so tight— his knuckles turned white. He rolled his hips when he felt your tongue fucked his insides.

You would groan and moan, whenever you felt your hand brush on the red head's stomach— feeling a bulge on it whenever you roughly thrust inside him, your vibrations adding more to Thomas's delight.

"Ah— F-Fuck~"

Filthy sounds— ranging from pornographic moans, whimpers, grunts, groans, to the sinful sounds of skin slapping and soft gasps filled the room. And you're quite lucky there were no guards standing beside your doors.

Your dominant hand was working on Zhongli's needy hole, said man was whimpering and would often let out a small squeak whenever your long fingers would hit his sweet spot as you ravaged his insides. Truth be told that he lost count of how many times he came just by your fingers alone.

Childe and Kaeya, on the other hand, were the loudest. They had a double end toy phallus inside their holes and both moved at a simultaneous pace. Moaning loudly as they felt the urge to come again. Their eyes watched at how you ruined your other concubines. Their dicks hardened and tips wetted at the thought of their turn with you.

All of them looked liked sex starved prostitutes in a brothel.

Pleasure shook the entire room like an earthquake and it seemed like it wasn't going to stop any time soon.

"A—Ah, c-cumming!"

"Y-Your m-majesty~!"

Thoma and Diluc came simultaneously, and both were at the verge of passing out. With your adept skills, you were able to maneuver them both off of you and you gently lay them down on your large bed.

They both lie down tiredly and their eyes begin to close due to exhaustion.

Zhongli saw you were done playing with the pyro welding men and went to crawl towards you— You happily accepted him with open arms.

You lay down on the bed and have the brunet on top of you. He steadied himself before slowly inserting your cock into his hole.

As the tip went in— Zhongli swore he had seen stars blurring his vision and he let out the most filthy sound once you were fully inside him.

"Mnhm~" He cried softly.

"Are you alright there, love?" You asked. Feeling a bit of pride swells up in you as you smirk at the sight of the trembling almighty Geo dragon on top of you.

He nodded with a red blushing face, beginning to roll his hips— with you letting out a soft sigh at his actions.

Your hands were on his waist, keeping him steady while trying to make you both cum.

"Oh, yes~ Just like that, keep going..."

You let out a groan and the man riding you could help but arch his back at your sound. He did what he was told, he rode you like there was no tomorrow.

And once you felt like he was slowing down, you took matters into your own hands. You lift him up a bit before slamming your cock inside him hard.

"AH~!!"

A loud sound of euphoria left the dragon's lips and his eyes almost rolled all the way back of his head.

He came almost instantly. Squirting all over on you, the bed sheets, and on himself. Tears formed on his face and his mouth drooled at pleasurable sensation.

But you weren't done with him just yet. You repeated your actions, slamming hard inside over and over again overstimulating the poor man.

Trying to catch your high and which you eventually did. You painted his walls white as Zhongli came again together with you.

Both of you panted. Zhongli— despite being a dragon— fell off of you due to exhaustion but you managed to catch him and lay him properly onto the bed.

You smiled softly and kissed his forehead before averting your attention towards the two remaining men— who were still waiting for you.

"Your m-majesty~" Kaeya sang, giving you a sultry look when you met his gaze. You sat at the edge of your bed. Gesturing for the two to come closer.

And they did. Crawling towards you with such whorish looks— abandoning their toy as they did so.

Kaeya reached to you first and he immediately went to kiss you on your lips. His kisses were hungry like and you had to push him gently to prevent him from making you lie on your back.

Both your tongues danced in an unknown rhythm but you both made it work.

And while you two were trying to fight for dominance— Childe had happily dived his mouth down on your cock, he didn't give any warning and just went straight to devour your huge dick inside his pretty little mouth.

The ginger head's action caught you off guard and it made you collapse down onto the bed on your bed. Kaeya chuckled at you and proceeded to pleasure your upper half with his mouth.

He sucked and licked your nipple as he toyed with the other with his hand. You moaned softly and grunted, your hands went to play with their hairs as your concubines gave you a mewl sound of appreciation.

"Ah, C-Childe.....c-cummi—"

You didn't even finish your sentence when Childe took you in deep down his throat and you felt him going deeper, you came. You arched your back, bucking your hips and hitting the back of his throat making the ginger head almost gag at your movement.

"Mmmh~"

The bluenette hummed, feeling you tremble while you reached your climax. Gently, he grazed your nipple with his teeth, teasing you as it added more pleasure onto your body.

Childe pulled away from your cock and tried to swallow your load. He spilled some a bit but he was satisfied with the taste of you.

"Mmh... Your majesty taste so divine~ I want more~"

He spoke with lust evident in his voice, beginning to lick the cum that spilled on your dick.

"Childe— Ah!"

"Now, that's not fair. You should give some of your attention to me too, your majesty~"

Kaeya pouted, feeling jealous when it wasn't him you're focusing on. He then went lower to where the ginger-nette was and he, too, began to lick your spilled cum.

You panted, as you looked down. You almost came at the sight of your two concubines going down on you. Oh how you loved it when they worship your cock, as they have worshipped you as their King.

Childe smiled at the sight of you. You pulled him by the arm with gentle care, and you had him on top of you.

"I've been waiting for this." Said the man on top with an eager tone. He personally slammed your cock inside him earning a small hiss from you and a lewd mewl from him.

The harbinger sang lewd sounds, as he bounced with harsh movements on you.

"Oh f-fuck—!"

He came when he felt you hit his prostate. But that didn't stop him, planning to overstimulate himself to see how far he can go.

Meanwhile, Kaeya made himself busy with your mouth. Your free hand was stroking his cock and that made him moan in your kiss.

Your hand movement synced with Childe's pace. Feeling the blue haired man shiver at the pleasurable feeling down his lower half.

He came as the other did— again— and the former started to move on his own accord, using your hand as if it was a fleshlight

Kaeya, knowing he'll be next soon, pulled away from your lips and moved on to your neck next, then on to the rest of your body. Biting, sucking, and nibbling the places that he knew would make you shiver.

He sat up, smirking at his masterpiece. Seeing you littered with all his love marks makes him swell up with pride.

"Ah!"

The ginger-nette came again for the umpteenth time and almost fell on you when you quickly held him before removing him off you.

He was panting, out of breath, lying there tired and contented with the cum that was inside him and was dripping down his thighs.

You move a stray hair off his face before placing a soft kiss on his cheek, bidding him sweet dreams.

Then, you turned to face the last of your lovers.

"Your turn." You grinned, your breath slightly ragged due to the 'activities' you've been doing.

Kaeya giggled, "Finally." Before lying down on his back, a blush was visible on his face. He wrapped his arms around you and captured your lips with his in a feverish kiss.

You pulled away from him and went to place your kisses on his neck— inserting yourself inside him as you did so.

A soft gasp left his lips when he felt you inside him, he released once he realized how big you were. You chuckled seeing him tremble, his embrace on you was tight but slowly went loose when he finished his high.

"M-Move...please..."

"Very well."

You smiled and did what you were told. Your pace started slow but it increased once the bluenette requested you to move faster.

"Hah— hah..."

"Ngh~"

You hit his prostate over and over again, making Kaeya see stars in his vision. He cried out in pleasure, his nails dug the skin of your back— slightly drawing a bit of blood.

He was close again, you could tell, by how he clenched tightly around you. You sighed blissfully at the feeling and you, too, were almost at your limit.

"Your majesty! I-I'm cumm—"

"I k-know. Hah... Me t-too..."

You pounded him for awhile, before finally releasing all your pent up seed inside your favourite pirate looking lover. You came together with him and his entire body shook.

His embrace around you was gone and instead his hands were gripping the sheets tightly.

Both of you were out of breath, but Kaeya was beginning to pass out. You stayed inside him for a bit, making sure he was getting the most of his climax and when he finally showed signs of subsiding, you carefully pulled yourself out of him.

Sweat lingered on all your skins'. You saw the bluenette smiling at you before succumbing to the sweet hold of sleep.

You looked at the rest of your concubines and noticed that all of them were now asleep.

You chuckled to yourself. Ah, one of the perks of ruling a Kingdom: was to take care of your harem with equal care and love.

You stood up, albeit your stance was wobbly and you were slightly dizzy. You playfully scoffed, they did a toll on you. And you proceeded to cover them all up with a large blanket.

Though, usually you would not prefer to let them sleep on a cum/drool stained bed, but there's nothing you can do about it now. You'll just have to make it up till next time.

Sighing, you mentally made a reminder to yourself: When in tending to the needs of your Kingdom, never ever forget the needs of your own harem.

Otherwise, you might never be able to get out of bed.

[miamochi-writes]

Shake It Off

Modern!Vash x Reader

A/n: Not a request, but I’ve been wanting to write more AUs and Modern Trigun posts. This is my take on what Vash would do as a boyfriend if the reader had a bad day. I definitely wanted to dedicate this one to @whirlwindimagines​ Hope you like it Whirl! <3

It was another typical day of working in the office. Clock in, say hi to your coworkers, hype yourself up with coffee, do your tasks, snack break, and just survive at the end of the day. That was until you had an angry client bursting through the door.

“You! I want to speak to your manager right now!” she demanded as you took a deep breath. So much for a normal day. You mentally prepared yourself with what this person was going to throw at you. Clearing your throat, you prepped your customer service voice before engaging with the client.

“Hi, I’m sorry what seems to be the problem?” you asked. Sure enough, the lady was complaining about the service she received. She specifically wanted a refund because the service she got ‘did not meet her standards.’ Apparently she was not happy because she wasn’t seen exactly at 9:00 even though she was seen at 9:02. Furthermore, she felt lied to because the service promised it would be the best she received and that it was adequate at best. So if she had a problem then she would make it everyone’s problem.

“Ma’am I’m sorry to hear about that, but I can’t give you a refund. Our policy states that we can only give a refund if you cancelled your appointment or if we didn’t cover the full service. Which our records show we did give you the full hour,” you explained. 

“How dare you talk back to me! Do you know who I am?! I demand that you give me a refund! Where is your manager so I can report you!” she yelled as you just took the brunt of the verbal accusations.

“Ma’am, I don’t make the rules. I just work here, and our manager is currently traveling right now so it might take awhile for them to get a hold of them or even hear back from them,” you tried explaining. But this just made her yell even more about how you were incompetent to work here. You didn’t ask for this, and wondered why you haven’t bothered to turn in your two weeks notice.

Then out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a familiar tall ray of sunshine with blonde hair that you can recognize from a mile away. Vash was passing by your area and saw what was happening. He noticed the scene unfolding and how uncomfortable you were growing with each passing second. Then he started mimicking the lady with the most absurd facial expressions. His mouth moved almost the exact same time as hers while he placed his hands on his hips like she was. If she yelled, he made it twice as funny with him being over the top with his actions. You had to hold back from laughing or even cracking a smile as you pursed your lips as hard as you could.

“HEY! Are you even listening to me?!” the lady snapped at you as she brought your attention back to her. Before you could react, Vash knocked at your door.

“Hi there! What seems to be the problem?” he asked. As the lady proceeded to tell him everything she told you, Vash offered her to follow him as he would handle things. Somehow, Vash just knew how to handle and deescalate these kinds of situations with his can-do personality. As he took the lady away from you while she was talking his ear off, Vash flashed you a wink and a smile before leaving. That was when you remembered, the only reason you hadn’t left this job was because of Vash, your boyfriend. 

You had been going out for more than half a year now. Despite being in different departments, you managed to find time together. Eventually, you fell for his natural charms, while he fell harder the more he got to know more about you. The both of you practically shared many things in common. He liked how you treated him normally unlike other people when they saw his prosthetic arm. Plus, you were always patient with him no matter what he threw at you and kept your promises which he absolutely adores.

Even though work could be rough, you tended to do small gestures for your coworkers and him. Whether it would be cheering them up through sharing memes, getting them a snack, or write down small appreciative notes the action never went unnoticed. At least with Vash. So whenever you were having a hellish day or struggling to keep up, he was always there to support you in any way possible.

Later on that day, you were coming back from a meeting that definitely could have been summed up in an email. Once you came back to your work space, you noticed a tall pink drink in a plastic cup and a note attached to it. Upon closer inspection, the note read:

“May your day be as sweet as this strawberry smoothie. I love you! x - Your favorite bf in the entire world”

A smile made its way to your face after reading the note Vash left you. He always knew how to cheer you up. Plus, you noticed he went out of his way to get you your favorite drink from your favorite place. Just the way you liked it. How did you get lucky to have Vash in your life? you questioned as you took a sip from your drink before going back to work.

~*~

Once work was over, Vash was eagerly waiting for you at his car as he waved at you. You gave him a tired smile as you got into the passenger seat.

“So how was your day today?” he asked with his pearly whites.

“Could be better. I’m just ready for today to be over,” you sighed as you rubbed your temple of your head. More work piled up throughout the day and a few more people came to give you a piece of their mind several times. But you reassured Vash that you appreciated the things he did for you today.

“Aw I’m sorry to hear Y/n. I hope things get better tomorrow. But at least you get to be with me now!” he reassured you as he planted a sweet and tender kiss on your cheek. 

“Thanks Vash, you’re the best,” you said while smiling at him. You felt anytime Vash showed his affection towards you, all your problems slowly melted away.

“Plus now that we’re here, I think this calls for a little pick-me-up,” he suggested as he pulled out his phone and started playing the one song you figured he would pick from your shared playlist.

I stay out too late~

Got nothing in my brain~

You loved how you got him into Taylor Swift, but the both of you knew that this particular song is banned from playing in the car. Vash would constantly overplay that song whenever he had the chance (especially when you spent the night at his place and caught him playing this at 5am in the morning). But after the day you had today, you figured this would be an exception as you started bopping your head to the upbeat tune. Once Vash noticed you didn’t make the effort to skip or the stop the song, he beamed at his small victory.

He backed out from the parking lot as he put his arm behind your seat. As he drove you back home, he would start dancing along to the song while singing the lyrics. He wasn’t a bad dancer at all, and his upbeat attitude was infectious. He would do a little shimmy and get you to sway with him whenever he stopped at a red light. You joined in on the fun as you both sang and danced along to the song. You were smiling ear to ear knowing that Vash did everything in his power to make sure your day ended on a high note.

Once you arrived at your apartment, Vash suggested ordering takeout from your favorite restaurant. He wanted to treat you which you didn’t deny. While he did that, you changed into your most comfortable clothes and decided to put on your favorite show. Once Vash came back from picking up the food, he took his seat next to you on the couch. Before he could hand you over your food, he put his face close to yours and flashed you a playful smirk.

“Before you get this food, you need to answer these questions correctly,” he piped up as you laughed knowing where this was going.

“Who’s your favorite?” he asked.

“You,” you answered as he gave you a peck on the lips.

“Correct! Now who’s my favorite?” he asked once more.

“Me,” you said matter-of-factly. Once again he gave you another kiss, but this time you made it a bit longer as you pulled him closer to you. He loved it when you did this and smiled into the kiss.

“Correct again! As a reward, your food and cuddles,” he answered as he handed you your meal. The both of you started eating your food while watching the show. Once you finished eating, Vash hugged you close to his side as you rested your head on the crook of his neck.

No matter what the day threw at you, Vash knew how to take care of you and put a smile on your face at the end of the day. Whether it be getting you to crack a smile, laugh until your sides hurt, or shower you with kisses, Vash will make it known just how much he loves and appreciates you. Just like how he started the day, he ended the night with giving you a soft and warm-hearted kiss.