#[ hope it helps tho ]

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS S1 EP7 ↔ S2 EP6 (2021-2024)

[possiblydog]

a little informational guide on trying to find skintones from 3d refs :)

i know that finding skintones from 3d characters is tricky and can result in accidental whitewashing and this isnt to make fun of those ppl! this is simply to inform and help other artists out :)

[yrdnzz]

and i got eyes on the back of my head, i got eyes everywhere so i know where you go

[off-mozzarella]

(From the body swap AU)

Hii! I'm very happy to see that my body swap comic was so well received, so here's a little something as a thanks for all the support <3

I'm excited to keep sharing my drawings, I hope you like what I make!

[smellroy]

The Terror but it's Geronimo Stilton

Bonus:

[heartorbit]

bugs when you lift up a rock

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 1 - Ratiorine Messages Edition

[Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

[slavhew]

jakey + dirkjake sandwiched between my organic chem notes. a poem in there somewhere

[nikoco11]

I love the way you draw bodies sm! They're always so fluid and unique!! Do you have any tips?? (other than the super obvious look at a reference lol)

hi thank u!! rather than just looking at refs, i explained how i actually use them here in a big old post, and how i keep those poses fluid!

another tip tho, and a more recent thing i’ve been doing, is that i use a ref just to decide a general idea for a pose and then pick my favorite lines either within the reference already or i make up my own

^^ for above, i very loosely used the reference at all. it just gave me an idea to start with for a pose and then i picked dramatic curves i really wanted to do and pushed the pose to show those lines.

a lot of my fluidity comes from caring more about those lines showing in the pose than the pose or anatomy actually making sense LOL

this is a more direct reference !! i liked the angle and the point of the knees, so i started there and then exaggerated what i wanted to draw more swoopy :3

additionally helps line confidence to use as few lines as possible.

it makes a lot of organic swishes and pretty lines if u try to keep each section of a limb or whatever to just a few strokes. 2-3 if ur really wanting to push it!

[endermagpieart]

What do you mean I’m a bit late for Janus’ big day? Of course not, how could you say such a thing! I definitely didn’t forget all about it in my absence and only get reminded in the incorrect quotes video live chat; that’s not like me at all ;]

Anyways I decided to dress our sassy snake in some different outfits I think he’d like. He seems like the type to get all dolled up on his birthday and it goes with Thomas posting pics in outfits inspired by the sides on their appreciation days!

@thatsthat24

[giddlygoat]

to be fair he’s butch 24/7 but i just needed to get this out of my system

[whateven333]

FROM as a show is so special because it's one of those rare instances where the most disliked character that the fandom finds to be annoying for any and all reasons... is a white man. Instead of doing the usual thing where the most hated character is a woman who is over-hated for even the most minor misstep (with the underlying real reason being misogyny). And I just think that's so beautiful, so thank you Jim for being mildly but consistently irritating. The world is healing ❤️

[gotchibam]

Espeon, Dusk Lycanroc, and Sylveon ko-fi doodle for Kaitlyn!

I'm accepting pokemon ko-fi doodle requests here! ✨

[delicourse]

bird :)

[smatterbrained]

Hello so I really like your art style and the way you draw the transformers. And I was wondering if I could ask how did you learn how to draw them?

And do you have any tips for beginners?

Also read the fic btw and it’s genuinely one of the best things I’ve read. So keep up the good work and take breaks when you need too.

There're definitely ppl who can explain it better than me, like @bloominglegumes in this post here , but I here's a bit about how I approach it!

That's basically how I visualize it. It also helps to have reference when you're first starting out. Transformers are wacky to draw cause u need knowledge of organic and inorganic shapes and how they mesh. Personally I try not to let my guys look too stiff. I try to keep lines curved, even if they look straight on first inspection. Technically not realistic since they're made of metal, but it just looks better.