#that word is starting to lose all meaning to me now

[luveline]

Missing hotchner reader❤️❤️

hotch and spencer have to work together to look after you when things get really hard. fem, 3.3k

cw cptsd episodes and descrips of abuse

Adoption isn’t as permanent as people might think —they can give you back anytime they want. So when the oldest Hotchner started hitting you, it wasn’t that different to a previous placement, nobody was watching over you, and you were so afraid of losing your new brother that you didn’t say a word. 

You knew, reasonably, that if Aaron was to find out about how his father (your father) had been treating you, he’d report it to your caseworker or the police or somebody and you would be removed from the Hotchner household. And Aaron was the first person you’d ever met to care about you, really care, maybe even love, so you hid it all away and you told him that things were fine. You do it for years.  

You move out, you go to college. Aaron moves you into a nice apartment a few streets away from his own, and for a while, life is good. You meet his coworker, Spencer, and you get along. Spencer takes you on dates to cinemas and patisseries and he buys you cuddly plushies with hearts sewn into their hands at Valentine’s. By all accounts, things should be good. 

You can’t breathe, is the problem. Somebody has their hand raised to hit you again and you can’t do anything about it, you just have to take it, because you’re useless, because you deserve it, because you’re a drain on everything and everyone and you aren’t worth the trouble, you deserve the hit. You’re so sorry.

“I know,” someone murmurs quietly, a sensation on your shoulder. You wait for it to close around the back of your neck. “I know. It’s alright.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say, barely, a breath of sound. 

“You don’t have to be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

But you did, you did, he was in a bad mood to begin with and you hit his glass of scotch right off the table, smashed glass and wasted drink and a bad mood made worse. He should’ve hit you by now. He’s waiting for you to sit up. He doesn’t like to hit the back of your head, but he will if you cower long enough.

“Honey,” the voice says, right by your ear, “I’m not going to hit you, do you hear me? I am never, ever going to hit you.” 

“I’m really sorry.” 

“I don’t care that you knocked the glass over. I don’t care at all.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Can you look at me? I promise,” —he emphasises until his voice burns— “I am not going to hit you.” 

Aaron sounds upset enough to force your gaze. You look at him through your lashes, ready to shut your eyes if this is a trick, but he has his hands flat in front of you and he’s completely still. 

“Sweetheart,” he says, so unlike himself, “I wouldn’t hit you over a glass. I wouldn’t hit you if you did it on purpose. I wouldn’t hit you if you smashed every piece of glassware in this apartment for fun.” 

He’s hit you for less. 

“Sweetheart,” he says again, waiting for a reaction you can’t give, “do you want me to go away?” 

It’s a good question. Do you want him to leave? Immediately, everything inside of you says No. He’s gonna hit you just like the last time you smashed his drink, out of the blue, ‘cos didn’t mean to doesn’t matter. But you don’t want Aaron to go. He’s the only person who’s ever loved you properly. 

“It’s okay, just hit me,” you say, staring at him, pleading with him not to even as you ask for it, “it’s my fault.” 

“Not gonna hit you,” he says, reaching for you now, even when you flinch, he holds you by the arms and he stares at you hard. 

“It’s okay,” you say. 

“It’s not okay. It won’t fix anything.” 

“I deserve it.” 

“No, you don’t.” Aaron rubs your arms in tandem, shaking his head, a trace of panic in his eyes you’d missed until now. 

It’s Aaron. Aaron’s never hit you. 

“You never deserve to have someone put their hands on you,” he says, practically murmurs, “I’m sorry I let that happen.”

“I lied to you.” 

“I know. I know you did, honey.” He shakes his head gently. “It’s not your fault.” 

“I hit the glass over,” you say, And he hit me so hard I couldn’t hear right for hours. You still remember the way it shocked you, because you’d started to expect it but you were still surprised he’d bother with such a hard hit, that he could get that angry about it.

“I thought it was just me,” he murmurs, sorry, clutching at you like he needs you to listen. “I never should’ve left you in that house, but I thought it was just me. It was only ever… me.” 

You already know —you’ve had this conversation before. He’s apologised already. 

He cups your cheek. “I’m sorry.” 

“You’re not angry with me?” 

“No. I’m never angry with you.” 

You come to yourself in fits. You’re kneeling on the floor not far from the table, the mess of glass, half still intact and cupping a few sips of scotch. Aaron’s kneeling right next to you, still in his suit, hasn’t been home long, you were waiting for him. You used your key because you didn’t want to be home alone. Today’s been a bad day. You’ve felt stringy and strange for hours and you knew seeing Aaron would set it right. That Aaron would make you feel better through force of will. 

And then you’d knocked his drink off the table and both of you had startled, and he’d said, “Wait, don’t, you’ll hurt yourself,” but all your brain heard was You. 

You. What could be said to mean more than that? 

“You’re not gonna hit me,” you whisper. 

“Never.” 

“Can you help me up?” you ask, half apart from yourself. Your head is back, but your legs won’t cooperate. 

“Where do you want to go? The kitchen?” he asks, leaning so you can wrap your arms behind his head. He lifts you up with some effort on his part, adjusting you, and leading you together to the kitchen to sit you at the island bar. “Sit tight. I’ll clean the glass, okay? It won’t take long.” 

You don’t want him to go, but you don’t wanna say no. 

Time away from him is good, in a way. It makes you remember who you actually are outside of the bad memory. It hammers home that this is Aaron’s apartment, your big brother, your number one supporter. There’s a picture of you and Jack right there on the fridge stuck by an alphabet magnet. Aaron’s never hit you before and it’s not going to change now, because he is nothing like his dad. 

He’s never really seen you act like this, though, and you aren’t excited for what he has to say next. He has a penchant for seeing you at your worst and building you back up again. It shouldn’t be his problem, but it is. 

He brushes the glass into a dustpan and unloads it into a bag, which he trashes. You watch him wet a paper towel and wipe it across the floor for the shavings. 

When he’s drying his hands on a towel, you summon the courage to apologise. “Aaron, I’m… I’m sorry. Sorry.” 

He closes his eyes. He doesn’t look much like the other Hotchner’s. He’s dark-haired like his mother, and he smiles with all kindness. You never saw anything so soft at home, not unless he was there to visit. It’s a wonder he ever bothered getting to know you, already living his life very much outside of the household, and shouldn’t he have moved on? If it were you, if there were another kid in the house right now, could you go back? Knowing how you were treated? 

“I love you,” he says. “You know that?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you think you could understand why I don’t want you to say sorry, or be sorry, because of that?” 

You smile weakly. “Yeah.” 

“Yeah? Because if Jack were in here today, and he had hit that drink over, you couldn’t have hit him. Could you?” 

“Of course not.” 

He’s mildly guilty for the example, you can tell, but it cements the sentiment in your mind and he can see that. “When you love someone, you don’t hit them. We just can’t do it.” 

“I just… just– you– I got all mixed up in my head.” 

“I know.” 

“Thought you were him,” you say tightly, quietly. 

“I know. Is that the first time you’ve had something like that happen? Like you weren’t sure where you were?” 

Your face crumples of its own accord, heat clogging your nose and throat and lining the backs of your eyes. “No… but it hasn’t been that many times…”

“The bad panic attack at work a few weeks ago, was that like this?” 

“No, that was just that I couldn’t breathe right. I– I had one with Spencer.”

Aaron frowns, but he speaks kindly, “When was that?” 

“A couple of days ago…” You stare at your hands.

“We don’t have to talk about it. But I need to make sure you’re okay.” 

“He told me to tell you, but it– I thought he’d break up with me, after, but he hasn’t, so I’ve just been waiting.” 

“Honey, I don’t think this is the sort of thing that could make Spencer break up with you. He cares too much.” 

“You don’t understand, I– I begged him not to touch me, Aaron. I really scared him.” 

With Spencer, it was late. You asked him to stay the night on a limb, and you’d forgotten he was there sleeping beside you, met him in a dark hallway, where he asked what you were doing out of bed. It’s late. You shouldn’t be up. 

His hand had settled just behind your neck. He won’t touch you there anymore. 

“If there’s something you want to tell me–”

“I want it to go away,” you say. 

“It’s not going to be that easy.” He takes a big, deep breath. “You could’ve told me this was happening,” he promises. 

“I didn’t want you to know that I– lied so much. Sometimes I can’t believe I let him do it.” 

Your tone, quiet and calm and a juxtaposition to the ache in your chest, couldn’t hurt him worse. You're familiar with the pain on Aaron’s face, how it makes him do this sorry smile, how he tries hard not to give it away. “If anyone let him hurt you, it was me.” 

“What?” 

“I knew he was unkind to you. I knew he shouted. I didn’t try hard enough to get you away.” 

“Aaron–”

“If you’re going to blame someone, it has to be me.” 

It’s ridiculous. If you hadn’t had Aaron, you would’ve been completely miserable to the marrow of your bones. He’s the last person on earth you’d blame for the way you’re feeling now, so when a tear wells in your eyes, when it hits your cheek in a splash, you let him tut and wrap his arms behind you. 

“It’s my fault,” you insist, hiding your face in his shoulder. 

“No.” 

“It’s my fault, I hit the glass–”

“No, no, it’s not your fault.” 

“I’m really s–sorry.” 

“It’s gonna be okay, honey. Just breathe. Just take a deep breath for me. I promise you I’m not mad about the glass.” 

“Maybe you should be.” 

He holds your forehead to his chin, clutching you to him, reassuring and a little too tight. “I’m not mad at you.” 

You can’t make yourself believe him. 

—

Spencer isn’t expecting to get waylaid by Hotch at Rossi’s dinner party. He can’t think of what he did wrong. You’re happy with him, clingy lately, which he loves, and as smart and sweet as ever, and work is great. Spencer’s a good agent and a better profiler. 

Hotch looks so serious that he follows him in silence, squeezing his coke neck like a lifeline. 

“I want Y/N to be assessed for PTSD, and I need to know that you’re going to support her,” he says simply. 

Spencer searches the backyard for you. You’re laying down in the grass with Jack, Henry, and Penelope. It’s getting late, barely any sunshine left, but nobody’s wanted to ruin the fun and call it a night yet. You don’t fuss as Jack throws himself sideways across your chest. 

“Did something happen?” Spencer asks. 

“She had an… event. She told me about a similar incident with you the other night. That she panicked and got confused about who you were.” 

Spencer nods. “Yeah, I– yeah. I caught her by surprise.” 

“That’s the only time it’s happened?” 

“Yeah. She’s told me a little about it.” 

“About the episode?” 

“Everything. And it’s obvious?” He enthuses it with apology, worried he’ll offend Hotch if he says something too blatant, but desperate to be honest. “Most of the time she’s this– she’s amazing, she’s like this light, and then sometimes it’s like she thinks I don’t like her? Like I don’t want to be near her, or like she thinks I’m gonna hurt her.” 

Hotch lets his eyebrows rise a little. “Yeah.” 

“She cried so much that I didn’t know what to do.” 

“I wouldn’t worry about that part, she already told me you made her feel better,” Hotch says quietly. Neither of them mention what they know, how you’d begged Spencer to stay after the episode, how sorry you’d been, how desperate Spencer was to calm you down. “But if you can’t do it in the long run, you need to know now. I can’t start this with her and have you duck out halfway through. I know,” —Hotch gives him a fond smile, half-knocking the wind from him— “that you care about her, and I know it’s not my place to come to you on her behalf, but I’m going to do it anyhow, and you know why I am.” 

“What do you mean?” he says, though he knows. 

“I’m saying I think she’s going to get worse before she gets better. She’s not well right now.” 

“I know she isn’t.” 

“I trust you, Spencer. I care about you, too. But she’s going to be my priority, and if you can’t be there for her then it has to be done now... I’m worried she’s going to get really low.” 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he says genuinely. Spencer’s not defensive, only urgent. “Hotch, I more than care about her.” 

Hotch nods. “Okay. Good, because I need your help. You have to vet these doctors for me, I have a preliminary list. I’ll send it to you.” 

“Wait, have you talked to her about this?” 

“I said we’d talk to a doctor. I promised I’d talk to you about it. She’s… I don’t know, she’s scared.” 

Spencer straightens up. You have nothing to be scared of with him, not his reaction, not his lack of support. He wishes Hotch had had more faith in him, but none of this is about him. Someone hurt you, and now you have to put yourself back together again. 

The kids have disappeared. Penelope’s climbing onto her feet and offering you a hand, but you stay laying down in the grass. 

“I really care about her,” Spencer says. 

Hotch clasps his shoulder. “Are you going, or am I?” 

“I’ll take this one, please.” 

“Sure.” 

Spencer trudges around the side of the yard, past the bench and the tables and the string lights on the patio to where you’re laying in the bluegrass, eyes nearly closed. “Is this seat taken?” he asks, nudging your hip with his shoe lightly. 

“No, sir.” 

Spencer sits down in the grass. He finds your wrist to hold. 

“You okay?” 

“Did Aaron talk to you about the doctor?” 

“Yeah, he did. You want to go?” 

“What do you think?” 

Spencer rubs your pulse. “I think it’s good. If you were having headaches, we’d go to the doctor.” 

“Headaches that make me not know who you are.” 

“Especially that kind.” 

You turn a bit and give him an amused smile. “Sorry I was too scared to say more about it.” 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Spencer brings a cautious hand to your cheek. He sees the flicker of hurt it brings —you don’t like that he’s careful how, but how can he not be, remembering the way he’d touched your neck and the wound it seemed to inflict in the dark— but he tries to caress it away. “I’m with you,” he says, “I care about you. I want to take care of you, as much or as little as you might need that from me.” 

Your eyes fall closed. “It might be nice.” 

“What would?” 

“To be taken care of by you.” 

“I’ll try my best.” 

You cover his hand with your own. JJ laughs across the yard, and Jack and Henry shout battle cries. Hotch says, “Jack! Not so rough, buddy!” and makes you laugh. 

“Did he intimidate you?” you ask. 

“No more than usual. He said I have to decide if I can do this with you.” 

You squirm and attempt to sit. If Spencer weren’t nervous about touching you, he’d force you back down. “He shouldn’t have.”

“No, he should. But I already decided.” Spencer finds your fingers, lacing them with his. “It wasn’t really a decision, actually. I want to do this with you, but only if that’s okay with you.” 

You nod slowly. “I already said it’d be nice if you took care of me,” you whisper, letting your face dip downward. 

He chances a kiss pressed to your temple. 

You laugh under your breath. “I know you didn’t sign up for this.” 

“Did you?” he asks, giving your back a rub like a wave. 

“It’s different. I knew what was happening to me.” 

“Angel, you didn’t have a choice,” he says, so quiet he’s surprised when you hear it. “I know you’re… What?” he asks, perturbed when you shake your head. 

“You and Aaron…” 

You never finish. Spencer can’t make you. He holds your shoulder until the tension under his hand unfurls, relaxing his touch when you decide to lay down in the grass again, quietly asking him to lay with you. 

“Be ready for Jack to use you like a trampoline,” you warn, taking his hand. 

He has a feeling Hotch will keep Jack away for a while. 

Spencer traces the back of your hand with his thumb, over and over. He’s sorry he didn’t know you five years ago, sorry you were alone, sorry someone put their hands on you. He’s sorry you learned to anticipate physical abuse in the wake of mistakes. He’s sorry he can’t take it away from you, ‘cos from the second you took his hand at that park a street from his apartment he’s been a goner, all you had to do was jump up on the lip of the fountain and trust him not to let you fall. He remembers how that felt, the zinging sparks travelling from the palm of your hand into his, the romanticism of two arms stretched apart and your slow circle. And when you fell in, you didn’t blame him, you just laughed and scrambled back out, squealing excitedly about your wet shoes. 

It’ll get better, he thinks. Even if it gets worse first. You’ll feel better soon. 

He turns his cheek into the grass and beckons you forward for a kunik kiss, nose pressed to yours, wanting to kiss you like he would if you were at home together, and knowing this is enough too. 

“You okay?” he asks. 

“It’s getting cold.” 

Spencer agrees, but neither of you attempt to move. 

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Huge thanks to hattiemagix for commissioning this!

Doey & motherly fem reader

★ When Doey first met the reader, he was immediately wary of her. Her kind nature was unfamiliar and he couldn't tell if it was an act or not, it made him suspicious. Even though he liked it when you were around he tried to keep his distance. Can you really blame him? He’s met a lot of people who’ve pretended to be nice, only for them to end up hurting him. 

★ Doey tested the reader's boundaries to see if her kindness was genuine. Slowly challenging her patience. "Let's see how long she can keep this up," he thought, observing her reactions closely. Shurely she would slip and show her true colors. 

★ Even though it was a tad annoying, you were still patient with him. You never raised your voice or showed anger, even when he was acting difficult. Whether it was explaining something for the hundredth time or dealing with his defensive attitude, you remained steadfast in your kindness. 

★ He started to realize that the reader genuinely cared for his well-being. Something he’s not at all used to. Doey never expected to meet someone, an ex-employee no less, who would try so hard to make him feel safe. He misses having someone to look after him, it's been so long, he almost forgot what it's like to be cared for. 

★ After that he quickly got used to you, your presence became a comfort. As the days in the factory slowly passed he grew even closer to you. Soon enough he started seeing you as an adoptive mother. But he decided to keep that to himself, for now at least, he wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.  

★ If anything were to happen to you, he would be devastated. If you need to leave the Safe Haven, Doey becomes visibly anxious. He begins clinging to you, reluctant to let you go. He asks you to make a promise to stay safe and be careful. The thought of losing you fills him with dread."Promise me you'll be careful, okay? I need to know you'll come back safe” 

★ After defeating the Doctor and the Prototype you bring him, and many of the other toys, home with you. Because of course you had to bring Kissy, Poppy and those who called the Safe Haven home out of the factory where they were starving. 

★ Doey feels a mix of emotions—relief, uncertainty, and a bit of excitement—as he steps into the reader's home "This is... home?" he asks, looking at the various objects you have hung up and strewn about. “Of course” you declare, looking at him as he turns his head. Doey’s expression unreadable, “that is, If you want it to be.” you quickly add. 

★ And of course he stays with you! Where else would he go? He's so attached to you he couldn't imagine living anywhere else. By this point, it was clear as day that he needed you around. The way he beams when you compliment him or how he always lingers by you gave it away.

★ After spending the past 10 years in the abandoned shell of a factory, Doey is very eager to make up for lost time. He's really excited to try something new. You take the opportunity to teach him various domestic skills. His new favorite thing is baking with you!

★ He still has nightmares about the factory. When Doey wakes up from a nightmare he's immediately disoriented and filled with fear, the trauma of the factory still lingering in his mind. His breathing is heavy and a sense of panic is overwhelming him. His panicked cries always wake you up.  

★ You’re quick to comfort him, rushing to his side and hugging him close "It was just a bad dream. You're okay, and nothing can hurt you here." your gentle touch helped to ground him, "It's okay, Doey. I'm here. You're safe now." it's working, because now his cries have dissolved into a quieter whimper.

★ To help Doey calm down, the reader reaches for his favorite book, "The Adventures of Word Wizard." She knows how much the story means to him and starts reading aloud, her voice steady and comforting. As she continues, doey feels his eyelids grow heavy. 

★ Just before he falls asleep, Doey murmurs softly, "Goodnight, Mom." The reader smiles softly, her heart melting from Doey's words. For the rest of the night, he sleeps soundly, knowing he's safe and cared for.

[bitchlessdino]

Good Roommates Don't (m)

for @ddeonghwa-s secret cupid collab i recieved you @haologram!

Pairing: roommate! Minghao x barista!afab!reader Word count: 14.1k rating: R Summary: Xu Minghao had been the most ethereal being you've ever laid your eyes on to the point being unable of functioning like a normal person, but now you're roommates. Only time will tell when you lose your mind keeping your hands to yourself, so there needed to be a list of things you don't do if you wanted to be a good roommate. tags: meet-ugly, strangers to roommates to lovers, college au, barista au, down bad!reader, mentions of band, brief bdsm, mc fell first he fell harder, cum swapping, spitting, oral (giving and receiving), face riding, unprotected sex author note: thank you @lovetaroandtaemin and @gyubakeries beta-reading this with me. after writing towtsyfdtotbycf (holy shit) i was in a little bit of a slump and had several and i mean SEVERAL versions of this and for months racked my brain how i wanted to do this. Alta, i care for you deeply and we've gotten close in the last year or so, so i really wanted to write something that would amuse you and that you'd enjoy. and if you hate it you can use it as leverage to berate me on discord lol. but please, my valentine, enjoy my gift to you. happy Valentines day Alta (and tell me was i really not that slick) <3

When you first met Minghao, you almost killed him trying to save his life. At least, that's what you thought you were doing.

All you had to do was bear a normal shift at the Coffee Shop, attempt a semblance of a smile for the oncoming customers, and clock out at your normal hour, but the universe couldn’t even give you that. Instead, they sent you the hottest guy imaginable, along with the swiftness of a gazelle, the strength of a gorilla, and the intuition of a garden gnome. That day just confirmed that some things were better left alone.

A few things were already going wrong that day. For one, your alarm didn't go off. The alarm being your mom, who usually kicked you out of bed first thing at 9 am, since she had a doctor’s appointment. Fair enough. The strings of fate got you there. All the more reason why moving out seemed like a distant dream rather than a close reality. Were you really capable of being a functioning adult? 

Then there was the bus and having to shell out twenty bucks for a Lyft when the next scheduled bus was reported to have broken down and was no longer an option. That twenty bucks could’ve been your meal for the next week, but no, being fiscally responsible was a circus act, and you were the clown being pied in the face repeatedly. As if you weren’t already putting on a face and juggling multiple things enough on a daily basis, today was no different. 

And then, you were late to work—which again, was nothing new—but you were hoping that Nayeon, who was scheduled as the shift manager, she’d let you off with a warning. Yet, somehow, that went wrong as well, seeing that the shittier manager on your shift, Manager Fi, was present instead. And, by the look in the old man's eyes, he wasn’t happy about it either, especially considering he assigned you bathroom duty for the end of your shift to make up for your tardiness. He never liked you since you started. Then again, he didn’t like anybody, and vice versa.

This morning was bad omen after bad omen.

Leading up to finally meeting Minghao—tall, scorchingly hot Minghao, , with lips that looked soft as clouds. You hadn’t seen him around before until today, and perhaps it should’ve stayed that way, because you couldn’t see yourself facing him ever again.

He walked in with his large group of friends, all almost nearly as charming as him with a handful of faces that you’ve seen once or twice, but none that stood quite out like his. He had the kind of face that made you want to paint murals, write ballads, or stare long enough to linger too long over the same spot you were cleaning on the counter, windshield wiping until the wet streaks you wiped off devolved to discoloration and damaged the countertop’s cheap sealant. Eventually, you averted your gaze to conceal your flushed cheeks—turning away in clear embarrassment, thinking about how much of a fucking creep you probably looked overtly gawking at him—but you’d soon realized that was the least of your worries. You’d soon wish it ended with you looking like a creep.

The next moment you lifted your eyes towards him again, you found him in a compromising position, one that had you thinking—and that was your first mistake. His face twisted with discomfort, and he gasped as he covered his mouth. A million thoughts raced through your mind, considering all the possible reasons for his distress, and one screamed the loudest above all, setting off alarm bells. So you—being meddling and troublesome you—acted on instinct.

Hopping over the counter, you raced towards him, pulled him off the booth which he was luckily on the edge of, and immediately attempted the Heimlich. Finally, your CPR certification could be put to use. You embraced him from behind, putting pressure on his ribcage as you launched and thrust yourself against him, forcing whatever was lodged in his throat out of his body.

“I’ve got you!” you exclaimed heroically.

You put in as much strength as you could muster, truly hoping to save a life today, thinking out of all things that have gone wrong today, at least this would be one thing you’ve done right. You could feel your ancestors looking down on you to witness a proud moment in your otherwise boring and mundane life. 

After several rough collisions with his body, he eventually spat something chewed up and unsightly onto the booth’s table, drawing the attention of several onlookers if your boisterous shouting hadn’t already. His friends were quick to look away, wincing in disgust while the cute boy doubled over in pain, holding himself by the ribs as you ran your eyes over at him in concern.

“Are you alright, sir? That must’ve been terrifying to suffocate on something so suddenly.”

He then finally lifted his head. His cheeks were flushed as anguish took over his features. “I wasn’t choking,” He rasped.

“...Come again?”

“Oh my god!” A third-party witness stood up dramatically from their seat. “This barista just saved this young man’s life!”

Suddenly, you were punished with attention, cheers specifically. All except the people who sat at the cute boy’s table clapped for you—or, rather at you now—and gave you standing ovations for your grand heroic act, when in fact, it wasn’t heroic at all. Meanwhile, you attempted to settle them down, flapping your hands dismissively and growing hot all over. You looked over the man you so-called saved as he strained to sit back in his seat, being tended by the friends he came with.

“Dude, you okay?”

“Shit, that looked like it hurt.”

“You probably shouldn't have been drinking it that fast, Minghao.”

It turned out you had severely miscalculated the situation. What appeared to be choking, prompting you to improperly administer a rough but appropriate Heimlich maneuver, was simply a mildly exaggerated reaction to hot coffee followed by a muffin to alleviate his burnt taste buds. You, of course, profusely apologized, as if you weren’t embarrassed enough for staring at him the whole time working your entire shift at the coffee shop because he was the most breathtakingly stunning person you’ve ever seen in your life. You might’ve just about broken his ribs and made his life flash before his eyes by abruptly slamming your body against him repeatedly, and not in the fun way.

Rather than an apartment, you were in desperate need of a hole deep enough to lead you to the core of the Earth to hide you from everyone else on the crust, ideally with cheap rent and good air ventilation. 

You bowed your head in humiliation, unable to meet any of their eyes, especially with the possibility of them remembering your face with a lawsuit waiting to happen. “I can’t believe that happened, I am so sorry. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, please let me know.”

“It’s okay, really, but I think we’ve had enough excitement for today if you don’t mind.” 

The attractive stranger—or Minghao, as you’ve learned from his friends who immediately rushed to him in concern—shook his hand in the air reassuringly. “Just, no more of that, alright? Make sure someone’s actually choking before trying to save them.”

“Right, please have a wonderful rest of your day,” you said, before returning to your station and disappearing behind the breakroom, screaming into your cubby and avoiding human interaction for as long as you could.

That scene replayed in your mind over and over like a recurring nightmare, burning the image of his beautiful face with such disdain for all eternity, while his name etched into your brain in permanent ink, embedded in every wrinkle in your brain. Minghao. A devastatingly beautiful name for a devastatingly beautiful owner.

Ugh. Get a fucking grip.

You just needed to get through the rest of the day. It would just be a couple more hours until your shift ended, and then you’d leave on the dot. It’d be just in time to make your appointment to meet your new potential roommate. Hopefully, it would be the silver lining of today’s catastrophic mess.

You met on electronic class forums while attending the same Cultural Studies course and somehow ended up relying on each other for notes. By your chat history, you seemed to have a lot in common—with the exception of his preference for tea over artisanal coffee—and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t get giddy seeing the green circle next to his username. Recently, he had just talked about moving into town after pondering the idea for so long, and as fate may have it, you’ve been looking for your own place to stay. You figured he seemed nice enough, and he even offered a reasonable quote on rent. It wouldn’t hurt to take a look. You just hoped he was as friendly in real life as he was online—with the day you had, you needed a win.

And, that win started with Chinese food, his choice, and it was a good one. You hadn’t been at this location before, taking note of the old-fashioned aesthetic touched by the harshness of modern neon signs that lit even the darkest of hallways. You were now thinking you ought to come more often as the heavenly notes of soy, ginger, and whatever concoction bled through the kitchen curtains and wafted through your nostrils the moment you passed through the double doors. Immediately, you were greeted by the host, visibly tired and overworked, with dark circles under his eyes, before he led you to a table in the center of the restaurant. You settled your nerves with a glass of water, trying to let the horrific events from today fade to as black as the soy sauce loitering on your table, waiting for a plate of dumplings to accompany them.

Funny how you could still have an appetite after everything that happened.

It wasn’t too long after you heard the same doors you walked through open, setting off the familiar sound of its wind chimes. You peered behind you, catching a glimpse of the new arrival, and immediately spun back in your seat, startled by the face that passed through your eyes. Trepidation brewed within you as the unsolicited visitor had your stomach in knots. 

You couldn’t take another incident tonight. 

You slunk into your seat, burying your chin in your shirt, hoping you’d somehow camouflage into your seat, facing away from the new arrival. Meanwhile, his eyes skimmed the room, walking in with purpose without guidance and greeting the employees as if he were right at home. Fortunately, he had yet to notice your presence as you slinked out of view the moment he passed by you to sit at the bar, while you made way into a booth in the dark corner of the restaurant, cursing the fates for their cruel games once again. You just had hoped that your new roommate would hurry it up already so you could get out of here before you were discovered.

And after about ten minutes, it felt as if all hope was lost. There was no sign of them and you were wondering if you had been stood up. Amid your anticipation, you were forced to pay attention to the person you were avoiding, seeing his patience wear thin with the tap of his foot as he sipped the last of his iced tea. Not a moment too soon, you saw him pluck his phone out from his pocket, fingers skittering over the screen before bringing it to his ear and scanning the restaurant’s floor plan. In the same instant, your phone went off,  blaring your cursed ringtone, ‘Pocketful of Sunshine’, and the realization—along with the panic—quickly set in. 

Alerted by the noise, his head whipped up from his screen. His eyebrows rose in shock, not all expecting the outcome that arose, and he dropped to his feet and quickly darted toward the sound that you—for the life of you—could not turn off fast enough. His footsteps matched the rate of your heart pounding in your chest, growing louder and closer until he found the source and located you cowering in the corner.

You lifted your head to lock eyes for the first time since this morning just as you finally managed to silence the ringtone and gave him an awkward laugh, waving with your phone in hand. Taking a nervous gulp, you awaited his disappointment, expecting him to make his quick exit after evaluating in the two seconds of your meeting that this arrangement would not work out because you were a deranged psycho with a savior complex. To your pleasant surprise, that didn't happen. Instead, you were met with a gentle smile and a glint of curiosity in his eyes. “There you are.”

You forced a sheepish chuckle. ���Here I am, ha.”

Minghao softly chuckled before tucking his phone in his back pocket. “And to think just this morning you ‘saved my life.’”

You shut your eyes tightly, hands pressing together as if begging for forgiveness. “Again I am so, so sorry for that. It did look like you were choking.”

He shook his head reassuringly. “So you’ve said. I’m Minghao, or PalE8. Nice to meet you, CafeMixr0.”

“Is it…nice to meet me?” You asked dubiously.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

You blinked incredulously. “Well, for several reasons.”

He shrugged before entering the booth and leaving a healthy distance to sit just across from you. “Can’t think of any. Have you ordered anything yet?”

You shook your head, befuddled by his nonchalance, waiting to see the catch, if there was any.

“Good thing I know everything worth ordering.” His hand shot up before grabbing the attention of a server to get his order taken.

You weren't sure where the night was going. All you knew was the boy that you almost killed this morning was sitting across from you looking as breathtaking as he did this morning, even while slurping up his stir fry that was glossed with a sheen of chilli oil and swelling up his already full lips. Rather than a roommate meetup—if that was still the case—it felt like a date, a date you were exceedingly ill-prepared for.

Suddenly, you could feel the sweat on the back of your knees, feeling the strong urge to sniff the clothes on your back, unsure when the last time you did a fresh load of laundry and if your current attire was included in that load at all. Not to mention that bathroom duty that was forced upon you, which no doubt seeped into your clothes. You were better off naked, but then that would be an entire different kind of meeting, wouldn”t it?

“You’re okay, right?” You asked, trying to distract yourself from your spiraling thoughts as you barely finished your portion of chow mein—which was absolutely heavenly, to put it lightly.

He let out a light chuckle before kindly reassuring you. “How many times are you going to ask me? You and everyone from this morning. I’m fine, able-bodied and everything.” 

“I just felt really bad. You looked really hurt.”

He couldn’t suppress his grin, finding your cautiousness amusing, but it only added to your unease. “I was hurt. You’re really, really strong.”

You winced. “Again. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s a quality of a good roommate.” He finished the last bit of his meal before dropping a couple of bills without asking for the tab. “Come on. I’ve got to show you the apartment.”

You raised an eyebrow while sipping your warm tea before tapping your mouth with a napkin. “You still want to room with me? After this morning?”

“There’s not a lot of good options for roommates in the city, and what are the odds that you’ll try to kill me twice?”

He had a fair point, and it wasn’t like you had options lining up either. You just had to hope he didn’t regret taking this chance on you.

A big reason why you wanted to move out was to learn to be on your own, but in addition to that, the city had pretty much everything to offer. The city had it all, from job opportunities to the right people to meet, and the apartment Minghao led you to was the center of the entirety of it. High above the town square, in a room several floors up, there was a nook that had a view through a large window overlooking everything within about a two-mile radius. If there was anything nice to say about the city, it definitely looked better from where you were standing. The street lights illuminated streets, neon signs brought the local businesses to life, and people that ran the night life lived it to the fullest in the flashiest clothes imaginable. You had never seen your city like this before.

Meanwhile, the apartment itself was gorgeous and already fully furnished with stylish furniture and greenery that touched the kitchen and living room. It was graced with Minghao’s taste in art and an eccentric—but tasteful—color palette of warm browns, olive greens, and rustic oranges. It felt like walking into Minghao’s mind, seeing into his world, and you were given the opportunity of it being yours, being part of his world. He was generous enough to even let you pass through the front door.

“So?” he asked, gauging your interest, watching as you looked down at the city from the large window nook in awe.

You softly scoffed, unable to take your eyes off the beautiful view calling to you like a siren at sea.  “Um, I’m sorry, you had trouble finding a roommate, how?”

He crossed his arms, admiring the sight with you, glancing at you through his peripheral vision and grinning when he saw the childlike sparkle in your eyes. “I’m new to the city, and everyone I know here has their own living arrangements. I didn’t want to go too far in looking for a new roommate. I thought we'd work well together, since we’re based in the same city now and have a lot in common based on our conversations.”

“I almost killed you this morning,” You’ve pointed out to…death.

“Although you’re…impulsive and unpredictable, I’ve seen worse. I think I’ll manage.” He splayed his hand in front of you, gesturing for a shake to officially seal the deal. “What do you say? Do you still want to be roommates?”

Everything about this screamed it was a bad idea. Putting aside the fact that you nearly killed the man, you could barely stand in the presence of him without your mind drifting to dark waters. It didn’t take rocket science to understand that putting you in that same living quarters with Minghao meant you might have to live every day together with your hands tied behind your back and thighs taped shut. You’ve surprised yourself with how you’ve managed to keep your composure sharing the same air—the air you were even thinking of savoring as you contemplated this offer.

You were down-righteously-bad. You weren’t a fit roommate for Minghao in the slightest.

Yet, you took his hand, letting his cool palm clash with your warmth as his digits wrapped around you in a tight squeeze before shaking. “Let’s do it.”

And that marked the start of a new chapter of your life, unraveling the challenge of being Xu Minghao’s roommate. Only, he wasn’t the challenge. He was a breath of fresh autumn air. He was kind beyond words and accommodating in every step of your move. You were already familiar with his gentle and patient nature, as he had frequently taken the time to clarify complex ideas for class, and you’ve learned about the majority of his interests prior from your online discussions, but seeing PalE8’s traits in person—embodied in Minghao—was bizarre. You realized he was still a stranger after all. A stranger that claimed your breath with a single bat of his eyes and turned your stomach inside out worse than a bad case of food poisoning, no less.

Meanwhile, the neighbors knew him by name, were endeared by his presence, and found him to be a delightful conversationalist as well as a helping hand when the situation called for it. He was better than your friendly neighborhood spiderman. He was your kind, considerate, intricately woven, beautifully complex, and knees-bucklingly handsome Minghao. 

You weren’t usually a sexual deviant, at least not to this extent, but Minghao brought something out of you that you hadn’t felt for another person. However, if you were going to live together, that had to change. This crush was going to have to dwindle out of existence if you wanted to live together—emphasis on you—in peace.

So, that’s when you decided to make a list of rules that only you had to follow. Sure, you were an adult, and the thought of giving yourself rules to keep your hands to yourself was juvenile and stupid, but for the sake of your sanity, you were looking for anything that might work. That’s when you decided to make a list of things “good roommates don’t do”, thinking it would be shorter and easier to sum up than a long redundant list of things good roommates would do, and the first thing to top the list was easy.

Good roommates don’t almost kill each other (again).

That seemed easy enough to remember, considering the first time was traumatic enough, and fortunately, it didn’t take too much effort, considering you hardly saw each other despite living together. 

You ended up taking up more shifts at work, desperate enough to even join the catering team, to keep yourself busy and afford the new expense of rent, sacrificing a lot more of your free time. Meanwhile, Minghao’s work schedule was not only demanding, it was inconsistent. Working at a popular art gallery as an artist and attendant with frequent and erratic events to go to until late at night prompted your roommate to be seen home a lot less than expected. By the time either of you got home, there wouldn’t be so much of a hello or goodbye either, just the sounds of bodies falling on beds in either rooms as the day’s fatigue engulfed you until you succumbed to sleep.

You’d be lying if you said that you weren’t a little disappointed by these circumstances, but then again, perhaps it was a blessing in disguise. Seeing him as little as you did meant less opportunity for you to screw things up around him, because it seemed to happen quite frequently when he was around. The few times you did cross paths, you still found ways to humiliate yourself.

“That’s mine.”

You held the toothbrush mid-scrub, bubbles foaming at the corners of your mouth, “Eh?”

“I think you’re using my toothbrush.”

Your cheeks immediately grew warm, and you shielded your face with the back of your hand. You spat into the sink and splashed water on your face to rid yourself of toothpaste residue before turning back to respond, his words jumbling in your head and bouncing from corner to corner to process them. “I-I don’t think so, this is the one I always use.”

He snickered, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms, delectably dressed down in a gray tank top and sweatpants. The tempting taste of domesticity was sweet and permeated your tastebuds. “If that’s the case, we’ve been sharing, because I’ve always kept my brush there in the marble cup. Yours should be behind the medicine cabinet where you first left it.”

“What? You sure?” you pinned the used toothbrush on the sink’s porcelain before cracking open the medicine cabinet. “I’m pretty sure I took it—Ah!”

Startled by your findings, you dropped the toothbrush you gripped in your hand onto the floor when you’ve proven Minghao right as his toothbrush fell to the ground, now defiled with your oral bacteria and whatever was on the floor. The one day you take a shift later than usual because a member begged to take on more shifts, it blew up in your face. Seokmin, you will rue the day. “I-I’ll clean it!” You offered in a panicked tone.

He pushed himself off the threshold, waving his hand dismissively. “Don’t, please. It’s dirty; I can just replace it.”

Filled with guilt, you stepped aside to watch him pick up the dirty brush before disposing of it in the waste bin, “Sorry.”

“You say that a lot.” 

He pulled a fresh toothbrush out of a drawer and ripped it out of its packaging. It was notably identical to his previous and your current abandoned toothbrush, down to the bristles. “No worries. See,” he turned the new hygiene tool for inspection, “Clean.”

“Regret having me as a roommate yet?” you joked anxiously towards his reflection in the mirror.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Nothing I can’t manage. I lived in a boarding house full of guys that shared things without asking and it didn’t stop at toothbrushes. You’re the first roommate I’ve had that’s apologized. I say that’s an upgrade.”

He went on to brush his teeth with his newly obtained brush, christening the bristles with a squeeze of fluoride toothpaste before scrubbing against his pearly whites. He never ceased to amaze you with his aloof attitude towards the situation, as if he’d become accustomed to your chaos when he didn’t need to be at all. This situation, however, did indicate that you had another thing to be added to the list.

Good roommates don’t use each other’s toothbrush (even by accident)

In your room just before you left for work, you haphazardly added to the list you put on a crumpled piece of paper you kept in your wallet, ensuring you held your list close before setting the pen aside. Your heart pounded against your chest, thinking what that had meant all this time. How you’ve pretty much swapped saliva nearly every day with Minghao since moving in. The fact that it had gone on for so long repulsed you, but not anymore than the tiny part of yourself that maybe had always known and continued to do it. 

You held your digits to your lips, brushing the pads against the slit of your mouth, ragged breaths slowly leaving your lungs as you reached your enamel. Tension pooled in your stomach as the images that infiltrated your dreams were currently being conjured in your consciousness, while arousal chased down your legs as you clenched them together. Jolted back to reality, you wound your eyes shut, remembering how little he cared about the matter, how nonchalant he was when he found out. Meanwhile, here you were: perverse, losing your mind, and letting your imagination run wild like a hormonal teenager with her celebrity crush. 

Fuck. You needed a night out. You had been cooped up in the apartment for too goddamn long. The only other place you went was work, and knowing labor laws, they had to give you a night or two off for all the time you’d been putting in. There was a whole outside world, and you needed to buck up and take advantage of it. You had to do something other than fawn over your very hot roommate. Losing some spare change was worth the sanity. At least, you hoped it was.

“You going out tonight?”

Hearing a familiar tenor voice, your head lifted up from fixing the strap of your shoes to see him remove his coat and store it away in the front entrance closet. “Oh, you’re home,” you stated.

“Yeah. The gallery is closed tonight for a bigger show this weekend, so I have a couple days where I’m off earlier than usual.”

More time for Minghao to be at home. Great. 

You nodded, keeping your cool at the sight of his turtleneck hugging his lean and toned frame, making your heart work overtime in place of you this evening. “I see, but yeah. A couple of my friends and I are trying out that new place that just opened up in midtown.”

“Oh, let me know how that goes. Me and some friends had plans to go there too.”

“Okay.” You hurried your way to the door. “Don’t wait up.”

“Wait.”

Hand on the door knob, you cursed under your breath, squeezing your eyes shut as if bracing for impact before opening them, and turned around with an innocuous expression. “Yes?”

He held out his hand. “Your phone please.”

“Hmm? Why,” you asked, unlocking it before complying.

He smiled accepting it, before swiping his fingers off the screen. “I’m sending myself your location.”

And there your heart when pitter-patter again at thoughtful and kind hot as fuck Minghao. “I just told you where I’d be.”

“That could always change. Here,” he said, handing your phone back, beaming back at you warmly. “Just in case something happens, and you can always call me if you feel unsafe, okay?”

You gave a soft pout, cheeks growing warm at the thought of Minghao’s concern over you. It pleased you more than it should’ve. “Thanks. What are you gonna do tonight?”

He shrugged, taking a quick glance over his shoulder. “Maybe do some light reading and tea, paint if inspiration hits me.”

You gave a small grin, thinking just how Minghao those activities sound. “Sounds enlightening. Okay. I’ll be home soon.”

“Be safe.”

Even long after you’d left, you kept thinking about that interaction. How domestic it felt, how safe it made you feel, how seen you really were. It made you wonder if he was tracking you right now, looking at his phone, staring at the dot indicating where you were located. You wondered if he was thinking about you right now, because you were most certainly thinking about him.

Your mission of trying to forget Minghao by going out definitely was not working, but you took that as a sign to keep drinking. Your friends didn’t get to see you often with how much you worked, so they were just happy to see you were having a good time, not knowing you were trying to drown out the consuming thoughts of a certain man with a peculiar color scheme. 

They wouldn’t have known the way you let yourself get felt up by a stranger near the dance floor, standing so close you could smell the knock off cologne he was practically bathing in as his breath hung in the air against your neck. When it went nowhere, he eventually left, looking for prospects elsewhere, while you stuck to your mission, seeing it work at some point at night. Until it didn’t, but you didn’t remember because eventually it’d all fade to black.

Your eyes ripped open, waking up with the biggest headache, blinded by the natural rays of light bleeding through blinds—only your room didn’t have blinds. You specifically made sure to have blackout curtains because you couldn’t stand waking up to the sun, and that hasn’t ever changed. Grumbling irritatingly along the lines about who turned on the lights, you flipped on the other side of the bed with a half awoken daze, your blurry vision making out a lumpy figure underneath the covers.

You drew closer in confusion, trying to make sense of what you were seeing before taking in the fact the lump had a face as blinding as the sun you turned away from, startling you upon recognition. Your eyes shot open, wide awake now, and you nearly stumbled out of the mattress before his arms grabbed you, latching on you before you could fall off and safely secured you in his tucked embrace. 

“It’s a bit early for your charming antics, isn’t it?” Minghao chucked with closed eyes.

You blinked back at him, licking your lips anxiously. “How am I here right now?”

His eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light. “You mean alive or in bed with me?”

Your cheeks grew hot. “B-both.”

“I wish I had an answer for the first question, but it seems your creator had more plans for you. As for your second concern, you seemed confused and tired, and I assumed you confused this bed for yours.”

“You should’ve kicked me out.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, rubbing his hands over your shoulders and sending a chill down your spine. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

You let out a soft sigh, ridden with guilt. “I’d deserve it. I must’ve been annoying to deal with.”

He knitted his brows together, the corner of his lips softly turning down. “You really don’t like yourself.”

“No—well, maybe not lately. Maybe I’m just coming to the realization I’m not a good roommate.”

“No one is good at anything their first time.”

“You’re not denying it!”

“You’re a fine roommate.” Patting you on the back, he threw off the covers and pushed himself out of bed, leaving his room to trod toward the kitchen. You followed after curiously, like a duckling that imprinted on its mother, watching as he pulled out ingredients from the fridge’s shelves. “Anything you’re allergic to?” He asked over his shoulder.

“Nothing comes to mind.” You answered hesitantly.

“Good. The recipe is fairly easy anyway, it shouldn’t kill you.”

Your eyes widened and you quickly stood by his side as he set all the items down, he followed with gathering bowls and cookware. “You’re cooking for me?”

“Mmh-hmm.”

“You don’t have to.”

He turned his head slightly. “You have a headache, don’t you?”

“Yes but—”

“It’s just egg drop soup.” He patted your shoulder nodding his head over at the counter stool either of you would often have breakfast. “Sit. It’ll be done in a few minutes.”

You sat patiently by the counter, watching him chop and throw ingredients into a small pot, which filled your shared residence with a savory aroma. As soon as he was done, he presented the dish in front of you, garnishing it with fresh chopped scallions and parsley. He picked up a serving with a soup spoon and gently blew on the top before taking a quick sample and grinning at the result. Scooping with the same spoon, he held a serving towards you with proud eyes.

“Try it,” he urged.

As you accepted the offering, you tried not to think about how you were about to share yet another household item that would enter both your mouths and let the simple flavors fan out on your tongue, the warmth of soup dispersing throughout your body. You hummed in delight, already feeling it work its magic. “It’s delicious,” you said softly.

He grinned. “Feel better.”

“Thanks, Minghao.”

“No problem at all.” 

As you enjoyed your thoughtful breakfast, your roommate cleaned up his mess. He wiped down whatever residue was left behind before heading to his room and coming out properly dressed in brown slacks and muted green patterned sweater when you were just about done eating. “Heading to work now.”

“You had work?” You asked surprised, “Why did you waste time cooking? You could have left already.”

He softly scoffed heading to the door. “I spent—what, five or ten minutes? It’s fine. See you later.”

In the last 24 hours, Minghao managed to make sure you were safe by tracking your location, gave you a good night's rest by not disrupting your sleep, and made you breakfast right before work. Then there’s you, black out drunk with almost no memory of last night (probably good you didn’t), annoying your overly nice and overly hot roommate, hogging a bed that isn’t yours, and eating a home cooked meal that probably set back his schedule. You were the worst. All the more reason for a new addition to the list.

Good roommates don't sleep in their other roommate’s bed piss drunk (again)

It seemed that this list of “don’ts” was getting longer, probably because you’re an awful roommate, and if there was a reward, yours would already be at the front door. You really, really had to make an effort to do something about this arrangement. Now that some time had passed and these interactions were becoming more frequent, avoiding him seemed to be out of question unless you wanted to give him the wrong impression. You would just have to become a better roommate, and that started with making up for this morning.

In the following months together, to atone for the bed incident and good deeds that followed suit, you shared the occasional breakfast if you had time (that is if you didn’t burn anything), even sometimes grabbing dinner or a late meal in the small gap before or after work. While in the late hours, when both of you should’ve been sleeping, you’d have a cup of your favorite beverages. He’d have his brew of tea for the night while you’d have a mug of coffee, awake under the stars and basking in the night, watching from the nook that you both grew fond of that was in the direction of the moon when it’s at its peak.

Of all people to share these moments with, you couldn’t imagine it with anyone else but Minghao. He was the peace amongst the chaos, the quiet you came home to after dealing with the noisy world that helped you heal like nothing else. You liked that about him, and now you were liking him too much, to the point you thought of him every day. What it’d be like for him to hold you in his arms, letting his warmth envelop your entire being the way his voice naturally does with a simple “it’s okay.” 

You’d imagine how he’d look at you, how lovers do when they ache for one another so desperately they could feel it down to every atom. You’d thought of the words he’d say to you, the words he’d say to someone he’s madly, irrevocably besotted with, and every letter and word and sentence would be spoken poetry. He’d feel like love. You didn’t think it was possible for you to grow more attracted to him, but learning all these wonderful things he does and seeing up close and personal how beautiful inside and out he was, you were developing feelings and growing all these desires that you were ashamed to admit out loud.

And with that, you pulled out your list and a pen, jotting in a new item.

Good roommates don’t live in every waking moment staring at them or thinking about wanting to kiss them (no matter how hard it is)

You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve already broken that rule, but the least you could do was hold yourself accountable.

However, writing the rule didn't prevent future instances. Not from fantasizing, not from wet dreams, not from imagining a life together where you rid all your inhibitions and clothes and succumb to drowning in each other. Unlike every other rule that you’ve managed to avoid, this one was the outlier, flipping your world on its head and preoccupying every second of your thoughts with all things Xu Minghao. And what sucked was you were so guilt ridden, you couldn't even let yourself enjoy it. 

This was your roommate for crying out loud. Your wholesome, nice, forgiving, and tolerant roommate that went beyond what was necessary to make you feel at home and comfortable. Only time will tell when he’ll see through you and finally kick you to the curb.

“Let’s go out.”

Your head lifted up from your phone with eyes large as saucers. “What?”

“We haven't really done anything together,” he suggested, cleaning up the dishes of the dinner you both had just had.

It was one of the few nights that you were both free. The coffee shop had more than enough staff, and you’ve exhausted the hours put in, while the art gallery was planning a grand exhibition, so they needed all hands on deck for the mornings for a few weeks, but evenings would be free until the week of. That left you two a lot more free time than you knew what to do with.

“We see each other all the time,” you pointed out.

“At home. We don’t hang outside the apartment aside from that one dinner the first day we met, so let’s go out.”

You blinked, watching him grab his coat before you could argue as he waved you over, his smile luring you closer and putting you under his spell without you realizing until it was too late. “Uh, where? It’s 9PM.”

“Anywhere.”

For someone who had only arrived in town a couple months ago, Minghao knew a lot of the good spots in the city.  If it wasn’t food, it was book stores. If it wasn’t book stores, it was tea shops. He had a clear plan of the city, and without so much looking at a GPS, he could find his way around better than any native. And considering all the people he came with that day you met the coffee shop and all the staff at the Chinese restaurant, his index didn’t stop at places. He seemed more familiar with the people in your hometown than you were. Between you two, he looked like the real local.

Walking alongside your roommate, you turned to him curiously, “How do you know the city so well when you’ve moved in somewhat recently?”

He gave a soft smile looking into the distance, as if the gust of wind that passed through you both hit him with a wave of nostalgia. “I’ve been visiting for about four years. I only had the guts to become a resident recently.”

“Why’d it take you so long?”

“Student visa processes, paper work, all those things. Also, this city is great, and everyone I've met and have become close with is amazing, but home is just home. It’s all I’ve ever known.” He let out a deep sigh, taking in a deep breath before stretching out his arms and let fall back to his sides, turning slightly to you. “This country and town has become a second, though, some things even my home can’t beat.”

You mused at that, intrigued that he could find something appealing in here, then again you've been here all your life, yet Minghao showed you more you could ever imagine of it. “Like what?”

He simply smiled as their feet stopped at their final destination, a location they both aimlessly walked towards just a little off the center of the town. “I’ll tell you, as soon as we try this place out.” 

Just off the center of town was a bar you had never heard of with a theme you’d never thought to put together on your own and definitely a place you’d never think to walk into with your roommate you were trying to keep platonic feelings for.

“Hey sexy babies, welcome to the Love in Leather BDSM Bar, where all your sexy dreams can come true.”

Oh, my god.

You were petrified. Every wall was decorated with leather or latex, either on display in a box, on a vulgarly displayed mannequin, or on an employee that was dressed in next to nothing, leaving no room for imagination. You weren’t shy about the theme of BDSM—there was always a small part of you curious about it—but it’s not like you’ve talked extensively about it with Minghao. The same person you were trying really hard not to think about sleeping with, which was especially hard in a place that served ‘cum shots’ and with their special for tonight being ‘buttery nipples.’

Glancing back at your roommate to get his reaction, he seemed to be just as startled with his findings as you were, but perhaps not as terrified as he should be, taking you by the wrist and weaving through the crowd with a marveled expression. You were grateful for the loud music playing the explicit versions of songs you wouldn’t otherwise hear on the radio, drowning out the sound of your heavy breathing and the loud thrum of your heart. You just had hoped he couldn’t feel your pulse under his fingertips, unable to untangle from his grasp as you felt the heat of his touch spread out through your whole body. You were trapped in a web you didn’t want to leave and that was the hardest kind to be in.

Suddenly, lights poured on the center stage of the bar. The music then slowed down, transitioning to another song, and a scantily leather clad woman entered that would erupt cheers of all clients seated in the chairs in front of her, to which she sent an air kiss and wink. Following the crowd, both you and Minghao decided to cheer along with them, your sounds of encouragement drowned out in the more enthusiastic and obscenely creative audience members of the establishment. Walking across the stage, she made a show of it, caressing her body in ways that would have a man on his knees howling at the moon (which you swore you heard once or twice in there) as money was thrown strewn stage like confetti, enough to pay for a few nice dinners uptown. After garnering the excitement, she descended down the steps of the stage, walking into her live audience. Her eyes skimmed through the endless crowds of people, landing on and picking one lucky front row member—a young, spry man no older than twenty-five—and brought him on stage, ensuing roars and applause, indicating the start of the real show.

What happened next was something you did not want to get into detail, but in layman’s terms, that audience member was having the time of his life with the use of a flog while everyone watched. You could only make the distinction of excruciating pain and pleasurable pain by the very loud affirmations coming out of his mouth and bouncing off the board he face planted on, and the words that passed through one of your ears and never wanted to come out the other. You were slack jawed from the scene, not at all expecting this scene today, and holy shit, you could not feel more suffocated knowing Minghao was witnessing all of this beside you. 

He stared back at the scene, expression unreadable, but he seemed interested and unable to look away like it was an oncoming train wreck, looking as if he was stuck on the tracks and was making sense of what he was seeing. Suddenly, his eyes locked with yours and you watched as they softened with a glint of something behind them before you swiveled your head, feeling yourself burn from your face to your ears, clenching your free hand. This felt eerily like a date, but unlike the first dinner, this felt like a real one. An immense sexually charged one. 

You were surrounded by sex at all angles, being tested to the most extreme degree. Tonight, you’ve learned dominance wasn’t particularly your thing, but if it were Minghao, perhaps you wouldn’t have minded. 

But this, this was overwhelming. As if sensing your turmoil, Minghao tugged your wrist, making you fix your gaze on him again and read the words that he mouthed from his lips. “Time to run.”

Your fingers interlocked and feet picked up speed as you headed toward the door, running aimlessly for miles out of the bar in fits of smiles and laughter. There was no plan and no destination, you both just wanted out, and you’d only stop running when you reached a bridge, both your bodies collapsing against the metal railing. You both gave out in heavy pants, your breaths mingling as you faced one another. 

“That’s crazy,” you managed to rasp. “Why did we think we could go in there?”

He gave you a tired grin back, looking in the direction from which you came. The light layer of perspiration made his shirt cling to his skin, and you get a sliver of his chest as he aired it out for comfort. “I don’t know. Try something new, but that.” He pointed where he faced. “That’s how I know so many places, I just walk inside.”

You ran your hand over your chest, baring the biggest grin. “Gosh. I feel like dying.”

“Iced coffee?” He kindly suggested.

“And tea?” You cared to offer.

Nodding back at each other, you both decided to walk the rest of the way back around, making a stop at a light night cafe and occupying their second floor balcony to taste the crisp air. As you sipped on your iced coffee and Minghao sipped on his warm tea, you quietly basked in the moonlit sky, as you’d done many times before. The adrenaline of tonight coursed through you still while you leaned against the railings and stared up at the stars, your elbows grazing close enough to spark that electricity that you’d feel whenever he ever got too close. This time, you were too tired to fight it, or you learned it’s about time you stopped trying to.

“I don’t drink coffee.” He abruptly confessed, penetrating the silence.

You softly scoffed, turning your head to him, taking his reminder as a jab for your ‘inferior’ tastes before taking a bigger sip of your delicious fresh roast press. “I know that. You prefer tea.”

“I mean, I don’t drink coffee, but the day you ‘saved me,’ I did.”

You hummed. “Oh. Yeah, you did. Funny. You got a coffee that day instead?”

He shook his head, smiling. “No, ask me why I drank coffee that day.” 

You rolled your eyes, placing your drink on the side table before leaning your elbows over the railing. “Okay. Why did you drink coffee, Minghao?”

“I drank my friend’s mug on accident, thinking it was my tea, then tasted how scaldingly hot and wretched it was—”

You gasped, offended as a barista, “I work really hard on those!”

He waved his hand to calm you down. “Let me finish. I mistook my normal tea for coffee…all because I got distracted, unable to stop thinking about the cute barista who wouldn't quit staring at me from behind the counter.”

“...I apologize for being a creep.”

He shook his head smiling and set his tea cup aside. “Not my point.”

You stared into the contents of your drink, shaking the ice inside as you stirred the straw, trying to find any remains of your beverage and stalling for time to follow up with a response. Lips pressed in a firm line, you glanced at him from the corner of your eye, silence met on the other end as he keenly observed you, mirroring your posture while he sipped his tea. “So…You thought I was cute,” you managed to sum up.

“Thought…think…know.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” You timidly asked.

“We’re roommates,” he reminded you, plain as day. “We should be honest with each other, right?”

“Honest,” you repeated, lethally soft.

“Yes, honest,” he confirmed just as quietly. “Don’t be afraid to tell me whatever is on your mind, just as I’ve told you what was on my mind.”

His honesty was cute, flattering. Your honesty could write up a restraining order. “Is that necessary? We only really live together.”

“It’s necessary because we live together, so yes, be honest about your feelings. Let me in on your thoughts, whatever they may be.”

Good roommates don’t forget to be honest about each other’s feelings.

He stood in front of you dangerously close, the lingering smell of his cologne that reminded you of the ocean wafting into your nose as he drew near. His gaze beckoned you close without so much a word passing through his lips, and you felt his presence close in on the distance as he leaned against the railing. You softly batted your eyes, adjusting to your sense being overtaken by all things Minghao, mind just filled to the brim with Minghao, as if you couldn’t get enough of him.

“You’re really committed to being a good roommate. I respect that,” you stated, harshly gulping. “Honesty. Where can I start?”

“Well, what are you thinking about right now?” He asked, face mere inches away from you, lips so plush you let out a wistful sigh.

“I’m thinking that…it’s really hard to think with your face so close in front of me.”

Despite that, he didn’t move, and instead he pushed a lock of your hair behind your ear, brushing against your helix to feel your flustered warmth bloom between his fingers. “Fair enough. What else?”

You wrapped your hand around the railing, stabling yourself on the floor in hopes of not falling over on your two feet, your breath being stolen in real time by your roommate who was looking more and more inviting by the second.

“And if I knew any better, I’d think you're about to kiss me.”

“Let’s wager that then,” he said as he reeled even closer, his fingertips once in your ears now guiding your chin, letting the surface of your lips feel the ghost of his as your breaths mingled against one another. “You can predict one of two things. One, I kiss you. Or two, I pull away. You get a prize if your answer is correct.”

“How is that a fair wager? You can easily change your response depending on how I answer,” you pointed out, ultimately playing along.

“I won’t,” he reassured in a coaxingly smooth tone. “I’ve made my choice.”

You raised a brow, attempting to look only subtly intrigued when in reality you’ve let him enchant you. “What’s my prize?”

“Loser grants whatever the winner wishes.”

“That’s irresponsible.”

“Knowing you, your request would be far from unreasonable.”

“I’m talking about you.” You narrowed your eyes, swallowing at seeing him come at you so close. “But, okay. I’ll play.”

The corner of his lips lifted mischievously, tilting his head to the side as his eyes narrowed back at you. “So, what’s your answer?” 

Your eyes flickered up to him, rounded up in intrigue as you tried to follow his gaze. “You’ll…pull away. Public displays of affection are cute, but maybe not your cup of tea, at least not grand ones like kissing, unless maybe it’s one the cheek or on the forehead.”

He smiled and gently tilted his head, eyes piercing into yours and taking a sharp breath before pulling away, crossing his arms with a soft pout on his lips. “You’re good.”

You felt the sting of rejection despite your victory, as if you’d hoped you’d be wrong. That he’d take you right there against the railing and give you a fervid kiss that broke you down to your knees and you could even taste in your dreams, but a win was a win. A predicted loss was better than a false victory.

“I guess I won.”

He sighed defeatedly, crossing his arms. “You did. So tell me, what desire would you like for me to fulfill for you?”

You shuddered at his choice of words, clamping your legs together. “Well, what would you have wanted me to do if I got the answer wrong?”

“Is that your wish? For me to answer the question?”

You softly scoffed. “Don’t be so cheap.”

He rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his tea, “Doesn’t matter, you didn’t get it wrong. You get the wish. So go on, tell me your wish.”

“…Fine. Grant me your wish as if you had won.”

“You want me to grant my own wish? That defeats the entire purpose,” he chortled with knitted brows.

“It’s my wish, so come on. What’s your wish?”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“And we didn't have to place bets, but it doesn't seem like there’s any rules against it, so go ahead. Tell me.”

Minghao sucked his teeth before complying. “Fine.” 

He moved toward you, hands settling over your hips and settling you on the floor beneath your feet as he gravitated toward, steadying his gaze on you. His face, inches away from you, and your breath hitched in your throat as he drew his lips near your ear. You heard the subtle squelch of his tongue as they licked his teeth, moments before the wish he dared you to grant poured out from his lush lips. “My wish is for you to…make me tea every morning, afternoon, evening, and every time I ask you to. Like my little tea gremlin.”

“Now that’s just evil, Xu Minghao,” You protested, lightly shoving him off.

He laughed. “No, it’s not! Think of it like pour over coffee.”

“Don’t try romanticizing it like it’s anything like my beautiful beans. Tea is tea. Coffee is coffee.”

“It was your wish to grant my wish.”

“Can I take it back?” You whined.

“It’d be dishonorable.”

You groaned. “Fine.”

He chuckled, “Let’s go home, hmm?”

Heading back home, you were embraced by a warm comfortable silence. There was a kind of silence that sanctioned your amicable living arrangement with Minghao to turn into something warmer, feverish even, something that you can’t even help but notice and your hands would occasionally graze one another on the way back, taking turn exchanging timid glances at you walked your path home.

“That was fun,” You admitted, taking off your shoes at the front door.

“Yeah, I think so. We should do it more often.”

You smiled at each other’s reflections as you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, seeing you take the same tube of toothpaste and started brushing your teeth. You smiled as he purposely bumped into you, raising his eyebrow as you stared pointedly at him in the mirror, not expecting you to retaliate with a light shove. Ensuing a nudging war, you attacked each other’s shoulders, getting caught in fits of giggles before you forced yourselves to split up, knowing nothing would get done if you both let it go on.

“Do you work tomorrow?” You asked through the gaping door of your room as he cleared a glass a water before bedtime, freshly out of a shower and the smell of his clean, light fragrance was beguiling even from a distance.

“Yeah. Do you?”

“Yeah.”

“Mmh.” He stalked over in your direction, a feign innocent smile on his lips. “That's too bad. We only really have nights like these together, it seems at least only for a little while.”

“It is,” You said, lathering up the last bit of lotion up your legs, feeling his eyes on you as they traveled the path of your hands.

The silence engulfed you, as if both of you were waiting for the other to make a sudden move, yet both of you remained still. Like a predator with its prey, unsure who was who, you both stood with uncertainty and palpable tension hanging in the air, waiting for the other to strike when the moment was right. Even the usually confident Minghao stood back as he observed you from a distance, eyes flickering over at you as you strided slowly towards him guarded with crossed arms.

“I guess, I’ll go to sleep now,” You finally said.

His gaze softened, nodding. “Okay,” he smiled, “good night.”

“Good night, Minghao. Sleep well.”

If only you had taken your own words to heart. 

That night, you couldn’t help but stare back at the ceiling, fiddling with the covers as the night’s events replayed in your head like a home movie, your thoughts traveling at a million miles a minute, too fast for you to stop and collect them—let alone process them—and stole your precious slumber. So, as you lay in bed awake at night, squeezing your eyes shut and waiting for the night to take you, waiting for the fatigue and sleep to come, it never arrived. Instead, your eyes ripped open, heart pounding in your chest as you sat up from the mattress and tore the covers off your body. Your legs pushed you off the bed and lifted yourself off, carrying yourself out the room and out the hallway with determined steps until faltering at the threshold of another front door before you softly knocked. 

You turned the knob, the door creaked open and you peeked your head through to see your roommate on the other end in bed, torso visibly bare as he slowly sat up at his late night intrusion. “Hey,” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “You’re up.”

“I think it’s the coffee,” you excused, clutching the edge of the door, “I can’t sleep.”

Wordlessly, he nodded, stretching an arm to beckon you towards him, and you slowly inched closer to him until you were completely under the covers. Occupying the space beside him, you nestled into the contours of his body as his arm cushioned the side of your head before facing one another, silence enveloping you. The only sound that bit into the silence was muted traffic, infinitely alive outside the walls of your confines. While it looked peaceful, and you felt as though you could melt into his arms, neither of you looked as if you were trying to sleep.

Rather, you stared at one another, making sleep even harder to attain as you traced every feature and took them in as if they were brushstrokes on a painting. Minghao may have worked with art every day, but he was a work of art in his own right, and you couldn’t help favor him above all others. You didn’t need a Van Gogh or Picasso, you had an original, a one of a kind Minghao.

And that’s when you saw his eyes begin to drift, lowering to the bottom half of your face, lips parting in intrigue as his breath fanned lightly against your cheeks. Your face flush in response, pushing your bottom lip between your teeth before they were caught, finding yourself doing the same with him and watching his mouth move in anticipation. You felt your pulse in your throat as much as you felt it between your legs, feeling arousal pooling and soaking your shorts.

“Do you want to wager another bet?” Minghao softly offered.

“What kind?” You breathed.

“The same bet, same prize. Do you think I’ll kiss you, or will I pull away?”

You mused at him, fingers extending toward him reluctantly, aiming for a lock of his hair laying stray on his forehead before smoothing it over his head, softly stroking him, feeling him lean into your touch. “Hmm, this time you’ll…kiss me,” you whispered with absolute certainty. “The tension is practically eating you alive.”

A grin stretched wide across his cheeks as a hand softly clasped over your face, thumb swiping across your cheek. “Right again.”

He closed the gap, slotting his lips between yours and languidly moving against you, letting you chase after his pace. You sighed against him, feeling his hand on your hip as he pulled your torso against his, the other rested against the nape of your neck as he reveled in your heat. Hands flying in his hair, you softly moaned as he kneaded your skin, feeling him trace the inside of your mouth with his tongue before he roughly pulled your weight from the mattress to topple you over him, letting your legs card between his.

“Minghao,” you quietly sounded against his lips, crushing your hips against his groin and hearing his sweet moan in response.

His muscles tensed as you pressed against him, while his legs clung to your thighs. His hands ran over the shape of your figure, unearthing an ungodly moan from your lips as he slipped beneath your shorts, etching over the curve of your ass and claiming your raw flesh in his hands, pushing you against him assertively.

You whimpered, grinding against him. “I know my wish.”

“Anything,” He tenderly mumbled.

“Call off work tomorrow.”

He smiled against your lips, bringing one of his knees to pin your bodies closer together. “Means you should too.”

“Oh, definitely,” You confirmed before reconnecting your mouths in a frenzied liplock.

Feeling the grind of your hips as his pelvis crushed against yours, his grunts slipped through every caress as his hand moved up your back. Soon, you started feeling something you had yet to see from Minghao in all your time living with him, the part of him you managed to evade but have envisioned a multitude of times, growing in his sweatpants and rubbing against your thigh the closer your bodies were.

“I have never wanted someone so bad,” He whispered in a soft ache. 

His hands crept underneath your shirt, brushing against your skin, pressing against the small of your back. Pressing his torso towards you, his erection adhered to your thigh, the tension coiling in your stomach burned like wildfire, at an unstoppable rage. “Minghao,” you mewled, impatience singeing on your tongue.

“Somehow, I can still taste coffee on your breath, but I don't really mind it. It tastes really good on you,” He admitted before kissing you deeper, his moans buzzing against your mouth, hungry and alive as his hands dug into your flesh with utter greed.

“You taste really good too.” Your hand body scoured south, cupping his size under your palm and tasting his gasp as you sucked him between your lips. “I wonder what else tastes good.”

“You are something else,” he mumbled, through quiet chuckles. “Just like you to act on impulse.”

You let out a light scoff. “You are so—”

“Don’t start things you can’t finish,” he softly warned with a smirk.

“I’m not the one you have to worry about finishing.”

You moved down, the covers draped over your head as you kept your eyes on him and resting on the hem of his sweats. Minghao’s breath hitched in his throat, gulping while he felt your nails lightly claw against his bare torso, tugging the waistband off the tent he forged, revealing the lack of underwear and restraint he had left, now sprung against your face.

“Shit,” you said grinning, claiming him by the shaft, thumbing over the precum glistening at the tip. “Even your cock looks pretty.”

A soft pink decorated his cheeks and a hand meekly shielded part of his face. “You staring is how I got myself hurt in the first place.”

“Then I’ll be careful not to hurt you this time—that is, unless you want me to.”

You spat on his cock, a translucent ribbon stretching from your tongue to his length. Your saliva lubing your knuckles, you squeezed his girth in your grip as you stroked and felt him pulse in your hands, growing bigger the tighter you clenched. Minghao’s arms propped himself up and behind him as his chest heaved, blood pumping with every drag of your fingers, shallow breaths slipping out of him as he fisted the sheets beneath him.

You kissed the curve of the head, lips pursed to wrap lightly around him, suckling down his shaft, and feeling him twitch against your mouth when you chuckled. He softly whined, his hand extended toward you to tenderly caress the side of your head and tacitly pleading with you as you teased him. Showing him mercy, you took him with an eager mouth, closing your lips around his cock as you steadied your gaze on him. Moans vibrating around his girth, your tongue tucked on the underside of his shaft, hands wrapped tightly around his base.

“Mmmh like that.” He swallowed, exhaling through his teeth the deeper you took him. His abdomen flexing overtly as you moaned around him, vibrated against his skin, your pink muscle tracing over his veins as you worked your jaw to hug a tighter grip. “God, you’re perfect. Don’t stop, please…” he panted.

He palmed at your hair headily, his motor skills not properly functioning as he sucked in his breath, feeling his presence explore deeper. He leveraged his hips to regain some ounce of control, but the sounds of moisture and squelching burned his ears, and the heart in his chest was running like a marathon. His eyes, fluttering in and out of focus, trained his gaze on you while his stomach tensed, grasping the vision of you getting wide-eyed and bold as you gingerly ate him alive. Burning the image into his retinas, it made him want to explode inside you.

Threading through your hair, he pulled them up and off your shoulders, showing off your pretty features, doing everything in his power not to give his climax an early appearance. “I’ve never seen such a pretty mouth take my cock so well. Then again, I’ve never had a pretty roommate like you, or anyone like you.”

Flustered from the flattery, you sucked him like your life depended on it as you grew hot, making Minghao’s task to regain control strenuous to achieve. You hollowed out your cheeks, leaving no room to breathe, and felt him in your throat as your vision rolled to behind your skull to the point your language deduced to the sounds of gagging. You gripped his hips, nails plunged into his flesh as your drool dribbled down his groin, slobbering over his cock in an erratic, hungry mess.

“Yes, like that. My god,” He praised through ragged breaths, hips jerking gently up into you. He lightly threw his head back, the urge to ram himself down your throat getting exceedingly more tempting, but he suppressed it as he dug his nails into his own palms. “I’m so close to cumming, can I–in your mouth or should I…?”

You hummed a confirmation before you swallowed him whole until you met the base, meeting his groin as he vanished inside you, breathing oxygen not even an afterthought. Images in front of you dulled in color, pictures shapeless and unclear, and you pushed past your boundaries to let him find home in your mouth, deeply intent with him finishing inside you one way or the other.

“F…f…fuck...”

Pleasure rippling through him, Minghao pushed himself up from his position, thrusting weakly as he cradled your head, pouring his thick, ivory load into your mouth, which was insistent on receiving every drop. He filled your cheeks, allowing warmth to coat the inside of your mouth as he tenderly stroked your hair in gratitude. Cupping your cheeks as he let his hips falter, he gently pulled himself out of your mouth, amused at how carefully you were trying to not let any of his cum seep past your lips as you sat between his legs.

His fingers danced under your chin. “Are you gonna swallow?” Minghao tiredly chuckled.

With smiling eyes, you tilted your head, as if asking if you should.

He pushed your hair behind you, softly pressing his lips against your tightly shut lips. “Don’t if you don’t want to.”

An idea occurred to you then, and in an instant you pushed yourself up to board him as your knees took either side of him, looming over him. His hands naturally found your waist as you lifted his chin, eyes staring at you curiously as his hands ran up body and gently clawed down, awaiting your next move. You then thumbed over his bottom lip before dipping between the slit of his mouth and saw it naturally part, taking the digit and settling it between his teeth.

Now confidently, you lowered your head, swirling the contents in your mouth before pushing your thumb deeper, prying the entrance wider, and finding no protest as he sanctioned it. He dug the pads of his digits into your flesh in anticipation. His eyes fluttering, he watched as your mouth withdrew the generous gift he gave to you before you gave it right back to him as it gracefully streamed down on his pulsing, eager tongue. And nothing satisfied you more than hearing him sigh wistfully as it landed.

It sent you shivers how beautiful he looked despite how vulgar the act was. Only Xu Minghao could make tasting his own cum look so ethereal, and it only made you wonder what other things a face this beautiful was willing to do. You swiped whatever fell from the corner of his lips with your thumb, sucking the residue like leftovers before you connected your mouths, sharing and tasting his lewd tang in violent swirls, and pulling away to watch it stretch between your tongues.

“I guess toothbrushes aren’t the only things you like to share,” Minghao teased before pushing you on your back, grinding his resurrecting arousal against your clothed heat and lathering the thick, viscous substance flat between your tongues in your mouths as it dribbled down your chins until there was nothing but slobber. It was a mess, and the most unmannerly you’ve ever seen him, and you’ve never been more turned on.

“My turn.”

With a rough hand, he tugged you by your legs towards him, hearing you let out a yelp, and shoved down your shorts to expose your glistening, mouth-watering, arousal soaked entrance. Be still his heart. He felt himself throb seeing you ruin his bed, but hell if he wasn't going to be sucking those juices out of the sheets until he’d tasted every drop.

He kicked off his sweats, leaving him entirely vulnerable while you witnessed his cock slowly twitch back to life before he laid on his stomach between your arched legs. “If we want to talk about pretty things, your pussy is high up on that list.”

Not waiting for a response, he licked a thick stripe up your inner thigh, flickering over your folds before sucking them in his mouth, using the tip of his tongue to tease your entrance. He felt the flutter of your core before spitting, lathering at the juices, coating at entrance but not peeking to see what was inside. “You’re already so wet, fuck.” 

“Hao…” You whined.

“Mmmh, I love how you sound,” he chuckled, running long strokes up your slit, wedged through you with every swipe, looking arm around your leg to hold you in place as his thumb brushed over your clit. “Are your moans always this delicious? Or are they reserved for when you’re thinking about me?” 

Shaking your head, you were too turned on to answer verbally, while his mouth closed around your clit and sucked, utilizing his fingers to assume their previous position. You clenched your stomach, fisting into the sheets as you spread your legs, feeling them already clam up from the tension as his tongue flicked against your sensitive bud in unison with his fingers twisted up into, and you couldn’t help but writhe underneath him.

“Yes, spread those pretty legs for me,” he encouraged with a haughty smile before burying his face, his moans vibrating up your walls as his tongue massaged your walls and tasted your cock pulsing nectar, sending chills up your spine.

You mewled, and feeling reserved, you held your hands up to your face to shield the tears collecting at your eyes threatening to fall, but Minghao grabbed you by the wrists, roughly pinning them to the bed.

His eyes narrowed back at you before softening almost menacingly, “Don’t cover your pretty face, watch me.”

“But—”

“I want you to watch me fuck your pretty pussy with my mouth. Don’t make me say it twice.” He warned before he got you a quiet nod, earning you a kiss against your inner thigh.

His hand flattened against your inner thighs again, pressing them further away from another and delving his tongue deeper as he rubbed your clit, working your insides until he tasted every inch of you possible. He buried his face, but his eyes were clear, staring at you as he worked his jaw, engorging with his mouth that sent you above and beyond and his eyes that saw you at the result of your undoing. You had no choice but to cling on, freeing yourself from his grasp to have your fingers fly in his hair, navigating him as you took him for a joy ride, his tongue shifting gears as it picked up pace.

“S-shit!” You rolled your hips, threading your fingers through his locks and clamping his head between your thighs as you pushed him deeper.

“Yes, ride my face—fuck, use me, please,” he pleaded in a cracked voice, pouring his heart into his feast until he was practically suffocating, worth it to worship you and bring you to the highest peak of your pleasure.

Your legs trembled as his moans infiltrated your heat, the intense flicks of his tongue titillating you to the brink of ecstasy until he used it to fuck you in time with his fingers thrusting inside, clutching you as you held him in place and grinding against him. “My god, Hao!”

Hips shaking, you bucked into his mouth, and even after your release, he made no effort to stop, lifting you to his mouth as he got on his knees, eating you like a meal he’d never have again until he worked his tongue raw, tasting you and only you as your cum coated his mouth. You squirmed, the suction of his lips on your sensitive core in tandem with his tongue viciously swirling inside you overwhelming you beyond words, unable to kick him off as he held both your knees above his head.

“You’re gonna kill me, Hao,” you cried desperately. “Just put it in me.”

He chuckled before setting you down, meeting your lips halfway as he stroked his fully erect cock, massaging the evening’s concoction against your tastebuds, mingling the contrasting flavors as they battled in your mouth while the knowledge of it all pebbled your skin. Meanwhile, he ran his hands over you beneath your shirt, found your nipples, rolling them against his thumbs as his cock rubbed between your folds, ebbing your moans as they buzzed against his lips. “What if I want to play with you first?” He taunted.

You whined, brushing your lips repeatedly over his. “I want you inside me.”

“You’re cute even when you’re needy,” he gushed.

You clasped your hands over his soft, warm cheeks. “Minghao, please…”

He playfully rolled his eyes, kissing into your palm then down your wrist before his teeth playfully started nibbling at your skin. “Fine, because you asked so nicely. Just to let you know, though, I don’t have a condom on me right now, but I’m clean.”

“Then, we don’t need one.”

He grinned, stroking the back of your head. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”

Rubbing his tip down your slit, he savored your whimpers as he drew circles against your clit before sliding his length through your folds and stretching your walls, letting you slowly adjust to his presence. Your jaw slightly dropped as you took a sharp inhale, fingers digging into his shoulders and clinging on to him before you felt him sink deeper inside you, pacing his thrusts in a steady rhythm. Your eyes flit to meet his, feeling the back and forth of his hips as they snapped, while you reveled in each collision.

“Yes please…”

Before losing himself in his pleasure, he was determined to remember how you looked getting lost in yours, taking in your features as they distorted under his care. He first found your eyes–lost in a galaxy with an infinite amount of stars out of the way. Then, his eyes started to follow the slope of your cheeks, flushed to the touch against the back of his hand, saliva leaking out of your swollen lips. And your body with the shirt adhered to you by the sweat on your skin, clinging to your form and proving to him time and time again that you were not only the object of his desires, you were something straight out of his dreams.

“You look, taste, and feel good? Where have you been all my life? Really?” He landed a harsh thrust, pressing down on your nipples and smiling manically at how you whimpered in response, clutching you as you shuddered against him. “You like that?”

You nodded, clawing your hand up his back.

“Mmh, me too,” he drew his lips to your ear. “And I like you. A lot. I wouldn’t let someone go on and use my toothbrush for months if I didn’t.” He slowed down his thrusts, cupping your face to meet your eyes. “You like me too, right?”

Feeling your ears burn, you frantically nodded again, mewling after you felt him nip at them, teeth scraping under your earlobe before an open mouth pressed against the side of your neck. The warmth of his breath sweltering against you as you struggled to carry on with the conversation Minghao was determined to have.

“Yeah, you want me to take you on a real date?” He said into the nape of your neck, moaning into your skin as he dragged his hips, rutting into you like an animal.  He barely made out your soft ‘yes’s in your sharp gasps. He gritted his teeth, taking you by the hips, pushing himself flushed against you. “Fuck, you’re so cute,” he groaned.

His hips took flight while he separated your mouth in a loud moan, feeling you becoming malleable under his touch and growing weaker as you recoiled against him. He lifted your shirt above your chest and neared your stiff peaks, rolling your bud against the base of his tongue as he pinched the other, moving out of pure instinct. You threw your head back, going mad with sexual gratification. Your body spasmed out of your control, yet you craved more.

“Harder,” You gasped.

He scoffed under his breath in disbelief. “You want even more?”

“Yes…I want you to cum inside me. I want to feel everything that’s yours, Minghao.”

Knees buckling at your titillating request, he gripped your ass in both palms, clutching you against him as he rammed himself up inside you, and you’re forced to hold on. “I’ll do you one better,” he offered, “why don’t I just make you mine?”

“I…Oh, god…” Your brain was becoming mush, only processing the sound, taste, smell, sensation of Minghao’s cock as he plunged himself inside you. It fogged up your thoughts, clouded your judgement, and only formed incoherent gibberish that took place of real vocabulary as they passed through your swollen lips.

“Be mine, hmm?” He asked, pleading. “That way I can be yours.”

Captivated by his words, you nodded, feeling him suck the life out of you as your body felt close to giving out, the hilt of his cock bottoming out inside you. You anchored your legs around him, following his pace before you felt something within reach, just seconds away from ripping a scream out of your throat that would surely ensue a noise complaint from one of your neighbors.

“Hao, I’m going to cum, I’m really close,” you meekly warned.

His hand settled against your thigh, nodding. “I can feel it. You’re shaking so hard. Let me have it, I’ll catch you. Every last bit of you.”

Ecstasy was just a word, but Minghao was everything, and you could breathe in that everything. 

Your bodies crushed against each other, lost in heat as you became one. Breaths blended, bodies embraced, only faltering after you long finished the initial orgasms, coming back for more. You embraced  the sheer carnivorous lust that quelled this several month long push and pull, adhering you by the sweat misted on each other's skin before your mouths tenderly met repeatedly.

Sleep felt futile, while the night felt everlasting. Minghao’s company was more than you could ever ask for, and by the time you did sleep, you were too tired to move. You collapsed against each other, bodies drowning in each other’s releases, sheets and pillows stained by the arousal from the evening’s lack of inhibitions. Minghao should’ve been just as tired, but instead he tended to your tired body, leaving kisses in its wake as he cleaned you off and slept alongside you in your clean bed, letting him worry about laundry in the morning.

With your eyes closed, mind in another world, Minghao was brushing the hair away from your face, softly smiling as you gently stirred and nestled closer to him. In response, he pressed a sweet kiss to your temple, warmth blooming in his chest as a grin developed on your face.

“I’ll take you on a proper date. I promise,” he said while you slept. “And If I don’t, pull the bad roommate card on me. You can punish me however you like.”

“…ok, I will.”

[dreamykira]

You Shouldn't Be Here I NAM-GYU x reader

˗ˏˋSUMMARY ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ Thrown into the deadly Squid Game, the reader is shocked to find their cold and stoic boyfriend, Nam-Gyu, among the players. After barely surviving Red Light, Green Light, they reunite—but instead of relief, Nam-Gyu is furious.

˗ˏˋWARNINGS ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ Angst to fluff, mentions of shooting, mentions of blood. Nam-Gyu is really kind of mean. Other than that there really shouldn't be anything else. ps! English is not my first language

˗ˏˋAUTHOR'S NOTE ´ˎ˗

╰┈➤ i've been CRAVING some nam-gyu angst. i feel like most of the fics i've read abt him are always super explicit, kind of making him look like a manipulative maniac who is addicted to violent sex. so i wanted to write something that still kind of shows his mean and "dickheadish" side, but also brings out the love he has for the reader.

word count: 894

You don’t know how you’re still standing.

Your legs feel weak, your body is trembling, and the sound of gunfire still rings in your ears. The first game—Red Light, Green Light—had been nothing like you imagined. You thought it was a joke at first. You thought it was some elaborate prank.

But now, all you can think about is the bodies. The way people screamed. The way the floor was painted red in an instant.

And you survived. Somehow, you survived. 

You force yourself to keep moving as the remaining players shuffle back into the dormitory, but all you want to do is collapse. Your hands won’t stop shaking, and your throat is so dry it hurts.

That’s when you see him.

The moment you see Nam-Gyu standing across the dormitory, your stomach twists into a knot. He looks just as intimidating as ever—tall, broad-shouldered, and completely unapproachable, his dark eyes scanning the room with a permanent scowl. But when his gaze lands on you, that scowl hardens into something much worse.

Oh no.

You don’t even get a chance to look away before he starts moving, shoving past other contestants without a care. You shrink back, instinctively pressing yourself against the wall, heart hammering. Maybe if you keep your head down, he’ll just—

Nope.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he hisses, voice low but sharp.

You blink up at him, heart hammering. “W-What?”

He yanks you toward the farthest corner of the room, away from prying eyes. His grip is tight, and your body is too weak to resist. The second he stops, he lets go of your wrist—only to shove your shoulder, making you stumble back a step.

“I—” You swallow, trying to find the right words, but your mind blanks under his glare.

“You didn’t tell me you were joining,” he snaps. “What the hell were you thinking?”

You hesitate, then mumble, “I… I didn’t know you’d be here.”

Nam-Gyu’s expression twists with something close to fury. “That’s not the point, idiot.” He steps closer, his presence suffocating. “You think this is some kind of a joke? Do you even understand where the hell you are?”

Your throat feels tight. “I— I didn’t have a choice.”

His scoff is sharp and cold. “Bullshit.”

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, but you blink them away as fast as you can. You don’t want to cry in front of him—not when he’s already looking at you like you’re pathetic.

“I thought… I thought maybe I could win,” you whisper. “You always said I was useless when it came to paying off our debt, but if I win, I—”

“You?” He cuts you off with a bitter laugh. “You think you’re gonna make it through this?” His words hit harder than you expect. “You can’t even stand up for yourself in normal life. What makes you think you’re gonna survive this?”

You flinch, tears welling up faster now. “I—I don’t know.” Your voice wobbles, and you hate how small you sound.

Nam-Gyu exhales sharply, dragging a hand down his face like he’s losing his patience. “Unbelievable,” he mutters. “Of all people, it had to be you.”

That does it. The tears spill over, and you quickly look down, ashamed. You knew he’d be mad. You knew he wouldn’t be happy to see you. But did he really have to say it like that?

Nam-Gyu lets out a sharp breath. “Oh, for fuck’s sake—”

“I—I won’t bother you,” you manage, wiping at your face with your sleeve. “If it’s such a problem, I’ll stay away. You don’t have to take care of me.”

The second the words leave your mouth, Nam-Gyu freezes. His whole body tenses like you just said something truly offensive.

“…What?” His voice is dangerously low now.

You sniffle, still not looking at him. “I get it. Worrying about me will stress you out. So I’ll stay out of your way. I promise.”

The silence that follows is suffocating. Then, in one swift movement, Nam-Gyu grabs your wrist again—gentler this time, but no less firm.

“Don’t be stupid.” His voice is quieter now, but there’s something sharp underneath it. “You think I’m just gonna let you wander around here alone? Get yourself killed?”

You hesitate. “But you—”

“I don’t care what I said,” he cuts you off, his grip tightening just slightly. “You’re not leaving my side.”

Your breath catches, but before you can process it, Nam-Gyu sighs heavily. Then, without another word, he pulls you into his chest.

You freeze.

He’s never been like this before— never let his walls down even a little. But now, with his arms around you, one hand pressing against the back of your head, you can feel it. The way his heart beats just a little too fast. The way his fingers twitch like he wants to hold on tighter.

“…Stop crying,” he mutters, though there’s no real bite in his voice anymore. “I’m not mad at you.”

That’s a lie, but somehow, you believe him anyway.

You sniffle again, gripping the front of his jacket. “You sounded mad.”

Nam-Gyu sighs again, pressing his forehead against the top of your head. “Yeah, well… you scared the shit out of me.”

It’s the closest thing to an “I care about you” that you’re ever going to get from him. And for now, it’s enough.

[elfgrove]

These are wonderful fics. Adding a couple more of my personal favorites hopefully for OP as well as followers.

⭐️ Growing Old with You by LilliputianDuckling (mostly Teen, one Explicit) 2022 - 110,554 words - Complete

A 12 part series of fics following Connor Luthor and Tim Drake through a lifetime together from childhood best friends to married. this is one of those delightful AUs where both boys are raised as the scions of rich families and get into super hero work. Connor is raised by Lex as his son and loved and Tim is a good guy but a little more flexible due to early exposure to Lex. Most everyone has complex depth in their decisions and motivations with supervillain parents, bad parents, secret identities, and etc.

The Loveless Cat by PeridotLion45 (Teen) 2020 - 16K words - Complete

For a long time, Tim was markless, his skin free of any design or name that would show that someone, someday would love him. He gave up on finding anyone who would before he turned thirteen. Now, in his late teens, he had a name that people recognised, even revered. He had a mom in the form of his mentor. He had a mark.

I have soft spot for "Tim Drake as Catlad/Stray" and soulmate fics and this is great oneshot combo of both tropes.

Slow Down by RoosjeM (Not Rated) 2024 - 35K words- Completed

After getting hit by Scarecrow's latest toxin Tim realises that Gotham was slowly draining all his sanity. Knowing that if he stays longer he would truly lose his mind, Tim wonders if he should leave Gotham. In true Two Face fashion, Tim flipped a coin. Heads, Tim would stick around Gotham and nothing would change. Tails, Tim would leave Gotham and start over. Meanwhile the Bats are trying to figure out a way to make up to Tim after all that had happened. “Are you sure about this?” “I can’t do this anymore, Tam.” Tim admitted. “Can you at least tell me where you’re going?” “No.” “Damn Tim.” Tam cursed, “I mean, good for you, get some well deserved rest. When are you coming back?” Tim avoided Tam’s gaze. “You are coming back, right?” “There is no plan for that for now.” Tim admitted.

Tim-centric fic. Angst with a happy ending. This one's a bit rough in it's interpretation of a few of the the Bats, but it's a pretty cathartic read for having Tim stop and prioritize self care and healing before finding his way back to his loved ones and healing those relationships.

And Now I'm Covered in the Colors, Pulled Apart at the Seams by Sohotthateveryonedied (Gen) 2020 - 17K words - Complete

Alternate universe in which we gather soul strings as we fall in love, with different colors representing the different kinds of love you experience over time. Tim has loved and lost so many times over the years that, as rare as it is to find someone who actually loves him back, his strings are mangled like barbed wire. What's the point of loving if it only ends in heartache? (Or: Tim’s experience with love, a story told in snapshots.)

Another soulmate fic with a chunk of self-deprecating Tim needs hugs.

TimKon Fic Recs Part 1.

So I mentioned in a reply to @oneswordstyle that I had a ton of TimKon fic recs and I was about to spam them with a million comments in the replies, but then I figured it was probably easier to do in a post. So here it goes. It also got too long so I split it into 2 parts.

Scions by Winterlive (Explicit) 2008 - 63K words - Complete

Tim Wayne, adopted son of Gotham mogul and secret vigilante Bruce Wayne, shows every sign of being his father's true successor - by day, and by night. Tim sets his sights on a valuable Metropolis lab for merger with Wayne Biotech, and all that stands in his way is the city's own rising star: Conner Luthor.

Note: I really love when characters get to grow up. I think Tim was a really fun teen to read about, and this fic explores him as a young business man and true heir to the Wayne legacy. Kon is Luthor’s son and prodigy in this, and it makes them interesting foils.

⭐️ call me cute and feed me sugar by suzukiblu (Teen) 2024 - 80K words - Ongoing

Tim Drake had absolutely no intentions of ever becoming anyone's sugar daddy when he met Superboy. This would have worked out better for him if Superboy had ever had an actual legal identity or an actual legal guardian or just . . . literally anything whatsoever in life. Ever. At all.

Just a bank account, even.

Note: Kon is fresh outta the test tube in this one, and despite the author’s facetious use of the word “sugar daddy” this is actually really sweet. Make sure to drop a comment and let the author know we’re excited for the next chapter!

Baby, Talk Me Down (Take Me Out) by sage (Teen) 2020 - 90K words - hiatus

Tim has been working too hard lately, and everyone is starting to notice. Bruce takes it upon himself to help Tim do some self-care and ships Tim off to the Kent farm for the summer, forcing him to take a well-earned vacation. Naturally, things get out of hand.

Note: This fic is on hiatus, so make sure to stop by and leave an encouraging comment, so we can get the ending this sweet story deserves. Tim finally gets a minute to breathe and really process all that’s been happening. He also gets to experience small town life but also he’s Tim so he gets himself into trouble. I find in a lot of fics, Kon always feels out of place or like he doesn’t quite belong, but he’s very settled and has really taken the time to learn who he is in this one, which I appreciated very much.

The Classic Shenanigans of Two Idiot Boys in Love by MashpotatoeQueen (Teen) 2021 - 94K words - Complete

In which the papers get hold of the fact that Timothy Drake-Wayne is dating another boy, Kon is all chill, Tim is no chill at all, the internet is flipping out, and Dick Grayson is quite possibly the greatest big brother of all time.

Note: An attempt to explore the public side of their relationship, a story told in vignettes.

⭐️ Stars Over Gotham by madaliz (Explicit) 2025 - 170K words - ongoing

Kon is tasked by the Planet to write the defining piece on Gotham City (no pressure). As he learns more about the city's first family and its criminal underbelly, he finds himself increasingly entangled with the mob and the vigilantes he's supposed to keep away from.

or

A story about how Kon and Tim grapple with their family legacies, fall in love, and team up to foil a conspiracy to ruin Gotham's hard earned order.

Note: Adults! Self-assured Kon! A really interesting world in which the Bats and the JL are completely separate and do not mingle. They are aware of each other but maintain strict rules. When Kon goes to Gotham in his civilian identity as a reporter his and Tim’s game of cat and mouse quickly turns into a Romeo and Juliet situation and I AM OBSESSED. There’s only 3 chapters left and I love this fic so much I’m dreading saying goodbye to it. Make sure to leave a comment to let the author know!

I’m alone here, I think by unluckyloki (Teen) 2019 - 93K words - Complete

Superboy is fighting robots in San Francisco and remembers something that wasn't. There's a new priest in the Naxos temple appointed by Dream of the Endless. Kon is missing something. Tim is missing everything. One day Krypto practically drags Superboy to a remote island in Europe and there's a dark haired guy smiling at Kon like he knows him.

Maybe he does.

Note: I’m not usually a fan of fics set in the cartoon Young Justice world, but this one is really special. The prose is exquisite, and it feels like reading an epic poem. Even though it’s kind of in the blurb it took me way too long to realize it was a Sandman crossover, but honestly you don’t really have to know anything about that. I’m also not usually a fan of ‘Tim Drake has magic AUs’ but again, I can read anything if it’s executed well, and this writer executes basically everything perfectly.

I Want it That Way (1990s Tim/Kon) by WynterSky (Series) - 140K words - Complete

On a field trip, Robin has a close encounter with the newest super in Metropolis, only to discover the hard way that Superboy secretly works for Lex Luthor. They agree to work together on a plan to free Superboy from Luthor’s hold, but Robin isn’t sure how far he can trust him—and his developing feelings only make things more complicated.

Note: Series says “not complete” but the series currently has 3 fics, which are all complete. Set int he 90s, which I think is perfect for superheroes. A lot of the mythos collapses with modern day technology. Fresh outta the test tube Kon is sort of held hostage by Lex Luthor, and young Tim realizes this and decides to save him. The 90’s setting is what MAKES this series something truly special.

buy back the secrets by sundiscus (Teen) 2024 - 90K words - Ongoing

He takes a long, slow breath. Ignores the glares from the other students. “Superboy,” he murmurs. “It’s me. If you’re listening, I could use some help.”

Or: 5 times Superboy saves Tim Drake, and one time Tim Drake saves Superboy.

Note: 1 chapter left! Don’t forget to leave a comment so we can let the author know how much we’re anticipating the last chapter. This is another love-square AU, I can’t help myself. In this one, they’re both skewed a bit younger, but they deal with the more heavy side of vigilantism.

Trust fall by Ididloveyou_once (Mature) 2021 - 22K words - Complete

‘Drake?’

Tim felt like he was choking. His throat was tight. He couldn’t swallow.

‘Damian?’ He managed.

Damian was… here. At Kent Farm. Dressed in the too-big Batman pajamas that Dick had bought him last Christmas as a joke. And- And-

Tim was wearing Kon’s t-shirt and his hair was messy and his lips were swollen and- He wasn’t ready for this- He wasn’t- He couldn’t-

How had he been so stupid?

Or: Tim comes out to Damian and prepares for the entire family to know by morning. It just so happens that Damian can keep a secret. Multiple, actually.

Note: Not usually a fan of Damian/Jon but I think this fic handles it well and is more of a puppy-crush than anything. This is a coming-out fic that deals in all those tropes, and I think handles it really well. Again, I’m not usually into the more fanon interpretation of Tim as a timid, neglected, anxiety-ridden wet cat, but this fic explores some insecurities without, I feel, straying too far from his actual characterization.

⭐️ First Kontact by Chiyana

Two years after a disastrous first encounter with an alien entity called Necros, Captain Tim Drake is given his first mission back in the field. The simple six-month exploration mission babysitting a group of LexCorp researchers goes abruptly downhill upon the discovery of a missing colony ship, landing Tim directly back into the horror that took him out of the field in the first place and leading him to his second first encounter with an alien race. Usually he's all for over-achieving, but even he finds this to be a bit excessive.

At least this time one of the aliens is more interested in him alive than dead.

Note: This may be my favorite fic I’ve ever read, like ever. This is a sci-fi au, where Tim is a captain, and the Kryptonians are space refugees after the destruction of their planet. The WORLD BUILDING is exquisite. I absolutely love Bart in this world. Also, despite the new world building, the explanation for Kon’s ostracism from the House of El is fantastic. This is one of those stories that has dug into my brain. Although, please mind the tags, it can be intense.

What happens in Vegas by Ididloveyou_once (Mature) 2022 - 92K words - Complete

57 missed calls.

Bart_ahhh tagged you and one other in a post

The Gazette (4 hours ago)

Bruce Wayne’s youngest eligible bachelor is off the market: Timothy Drake-Wayne eloped in Vegas [EXCLUSIVE pictures]

63 unread messag-

Tim jolted upright. His eyes scanned over the headline again. Timothy Drake-Wayne eloped… Timothy Drake-Wayne what?

And with who?

Or: Tim and Conner accidentally get married in Vegas and decide to stay that way until they can get quietly divorced. It’s simple. Except the Bats are detectives and the press is relentless and oh, Tim is hopelessly in love with his best frie- husband?

Note: classic accidentally married first, then fall in love. Obsessed with this fic, and the author has indicated it’s supposed to be a series, so I canNOT wait to see where this AU goes. Honestly Cassie is the most relatable person in this fic, because she totally believes that these two idiots would do something so ridiculous but what she can’t believe is the audacity to get spontaneously married on her birthday.

[sungbites]

RAVE SWEETHEARTS ━ park jisung

pairing : jisung x fem!reader. genre : fluff, very cliche, rave au ?? warnings : drinking/getting drunk, awkward ji, two idiots obsessed w eo synopsis : usually you would be aggravated about someone spilling their drink on you but you couldn't possibly be mad at him. wc : 3k a/n : EEEK im acc excited to post this bc this randomly came to me from a rave fitspo tiktok so i hope u guys enjoy ^^ as always likes n reblogs are appreciated :))

jisung was so uncomfortable. he was uncomfortable with his outfit, he was uncomfortable with the large crowd of people, and he was uncomfortable by the loud dj set that was currently playing. 

“oh loosen up” chenle glanced his way, rolling his eyes. “dude it’s so hot” jisung complained, the sun shining directly on his shoulders make him even more uneasy. “you’re barely wearing anything, c'mon let’s get some drinks in you and maybe you’ll feel better” chenle grabbed his arm, pulling him in the direction of the overpriced bar. jisung groaned but reluctantly followed him. 

he didn’t even want to be here, but since chenle bought two tickets for him and mark, who just couldn’t go anymore, jisung was the replacement. at first the idea of going to a rave in the height of california heat didn’t seem all that bad until the weekend got closer and he started regretting agreeing to the idea. when chenle showed him the outfit he picked out for him, the feeling of regret started growing. 

they reached the bar, jisung stood close to the fan they had set up to cool himself down. “two vodka sprites please” chenle told the bartender, handing his credit card. “you couldn’t just get me water?” jisung side eyed him and chenle only laughed. “a little vodka never hurt anyone” chenle replied back, not realizing how unironically wrong that sounded given the situation. the bartender handed chenle the drinks and he turned to jisung, handing him the drink. jisung gave him a look and chenle held out the drink further towards him. 

the two of them began walking back to the crowd, the terrible dj set was now over so it wasn’t as loud or overstimulating. “i promise when you let yourself go it’ll be a lot more fun” and jisung rolled his eyes, “yeah sure” he muttered, following chenle through the crowd. they stood not too far from the stage but not too close either, it was feeling a bit better. “i wouldn’t have invited you if i didn’t know you needed the break, just let go man” chenle said once more, the words finally getting through jisungs big head. “yeah you’re right” jisung said, making chenle smile. “see! i told you” he shouted over the set that just began, making jisung laugh. maybe this weekend will be fun. 

jisung clearly spoke too soon because five minutes into the set, someone bumped into chenle which caused him to bump into jisung and resulted in him losing grip of his drink, dropping it all over the stranger that stood beside him. “i am so-“ the words couldn’t leave jisungs mouth when he turned to see you. “i..” he mumbled, watching as you wiped the remnants of the drink off your clothes. your hair fell so nicely on your shoulders, and your outfit complimented your aura so well. to put it simply, you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen. he was sure of it. 

you wiped down the drink from your shirt and looked up at him, smiling softly. “i mean atleast your drink was cold!” you said, your voice was even sweeter than how you looked. he didn’t know what he was more attracted to, you or the way you brushed it off so easily. either way it drew him closer to you. jisung wanted to say something but the words were stuck in his throat, out of fear or maybe anxiety. it didn’t matter because you smiled at him one last time before turning to talk to your friend. 

by then, chenle had already turned away from the person who bumped into him and tapped jisungs shoulder, breaking him out of his trance. he turned to look at chenle, ears red and face slightly flushed but the only thing chenle noticed was the empty cup on the ground next to jisungs feet. “oh come on! that drink was like 15 bucks jisung!” chenle groaned, breaking jisung out of his thoughts. “yeah.. sorry”’ he finally said, beating himself up internally because the words wouldn’t come out when he wanted to talk to you. 

chenle handed him his drink, “here just finish mine,” jisung took the cup and downed it, either trying to ease his nerves or cool himself off. chenle looked at him and grinned, “finally you’re not uptight anymore” he laughed, making jisung look at him with a small smile “shut up” he muttered, focusing back on the dj set and being hyper aware that you were next to him, dancing with your friend. 

he glanced out the corner of his eye to see that you and your friend were in fact gone, probably left some time around while he was talking to chenle. you walked behind ningning, following her through the crowd to a stand to grab some napkins. “ning it’s fine” you groaned, watching her wipe away the remainder of the drink from your skin. “still! it must be uncomfortable i mean that guy wasn’t even paying attention” she replied, wetting the napkin with her water bottle to wipe away any stickiness. 

you thought back to his flustered expression and the way his cheeks were flushed. you smiled softly, he was a cutie. you didn’t think you’d bump into a cute guy here but here you were, thinking about a cute guy. if only you knew his name it would make actually talking to him easier. “oh please don’t tell me you’re thinking about him yn” she said, throwing away the napkin and turning back to you. “i mean.. he was easy on the eyes ning,” you said, smiling softly, making ningning laugh aloud.

“what if he’s one of those rave fuck boys then what?” the two of you started walking back towards the crowd, the music starting to get louder as you got closer. “doubt it, he looked so nervous” you smiled, thinking back on his expression. “you’re doing it again!” ningning said, lightly punching your arm, making you laugh. “whatever it's not like i’m gonna magically see him again” you sighed out, joining the crowd once more. “yeah but who knows, maybe he’ll find his way to you without spilling a drink” she smiled, making you smile as well, maybe she was right. 

jisung was exhausted, around 3 dj sets had passed and they were currently on the last one for the night. finally, jisung thought. next to him, chenle danced with some girl who kept flirting with him, making jisung laugh to himself. he scanned the crowd, ever since you left out of nowhere he was ashamed to admit it but he tried looking for you for a bit. even if it was taking quick glances he was never successful, that is until now. he saw you not too far ahead of where he and chenle stood so he did the most rational thing, make his way over to you. 

after a little bit of shoving and squeezing through sweaty bodies, jisung was a little bit closer to you, approximately one person apart. just before he was going to get closer, someone bumped into you, causing you to tumble back but jisung reached over grabbing your arm. the person between the two of you was now gone so it was only the two of you in this huge crowd. “hi..” jisung said, making you smile. he let go of your arm and stood up straighter, “hi” you said, smiling up at him. 

“jisung, i’m sorry about.. you know. spilling my drink on you” he held his hand out for you to shake and you shook it, smiling. “yn, and it’s fine really” you let go of his hand, wiping away your sweaty palm on your shorts. “so do you talk to every girl you spill drinks on?” you looked to him, making his ears turn a shade of pink. “only the pretty ones” he said, now it was your turn to blush. 

“i’m pretty?” you teased, still smiling. you were smiling so much that your cheeks started to hurt. “i mean.. yeah. you’re more than just pretty but it’s too embarrassing to say here” he admitted shyly, not being able to hold eye contact with you. you smiled as his eyes looked at the speakers or the dj instead of you. “you’re pretty too” you said, making him giggle and ears turn pink once more. 

the two of you stood there, moving along to the music and enjoying each others company. jisung glanced at you a couple times, smiling. you caught him, looking his way and he quickly looked away, in embarrassment or fear. what a cutie. “so do you usually go to raves” you tilted your head, jisung shaking his head in response. “my friend had an extra ticket and the person he invited wasn’t going, so.. here i am” he smiled looking at how you nodded, taking in his worlds. so he wasn’t a rave fuckboy, perfect, you thought to yourself. 

“what about you?” he looked to you, smiling. he swore his cheeks would be more sore than his legs when he wakes up tomorrow. “this is my 2nd rave, but my friend also sort of forced me to tag along” you replied, smiling as you remembered how ningning tried to bait you into going with her. “so we’re in the same boat then” jisung muttered, laughing softly. you smiled and laughed along with him. “i guess so” 

if the people around you two were listening to the conversation, they would think that you and jisung had zero interest in one another. the truth was far from that, you two were so interested in one another that you were both equally nervous to talk to each other. being so close to each other made it even more intimidating for one another. your hands brushed together, fingers so close to interlocking but jisung pulled his hand away in fear, his cheeks as red as a rose in bloom. 

“so-” “so-“ both of you said in unison, looking at each other then giggling. “go first” jisung said, his smile only growing. “uh are you doing anything after?” you looked up and tilted your head slightly, jisung thought it was cute when you did that. considering you did it twice it had to be a habit for you. “aside from heading back to the hotel, nothing at all” he replied, making you nod. “same with us, we’re staying in a hotel as well” he smiled at this, must mean you live somewhere close to wear he lives. 

“so where are-“ in the midst of jisungs question your phone started ringing, you pulled it out to see ningning contact card. you looked up at jisung and he shook his head, “please take the call don’t worry about me i’ll just. um be standing here” he said, a little awkwardly making you gush. you answered the call and put it to your ear. 

“what?” you said, jisung glancing your way. you look a little frustrated but anxious as well. you glanced around the crowd, spotting what seems to be your friend. jisung really only thought this because she kept waving at you. you hung up the phone and turned back to him. “i really have to get going.. are you gonna be here tomorrow?” you said, jisung nodding. “yeah we’re here till sunday.. so i guess ill see you tomorrow?” 

the two of you looked at each other and jisung quickly fished his pocket for his phone, fumbling while opening it to the phone app. “let’s trade numbers, you know so it’s easier to find each other” he said with a light tremble in his voice, you smiled and the two of you traded phones, typing in your phone numbers. “i saved my contact, you know in case you forget” you said, handing his phone back and he only smiled. “i couldn’t forget” he mumbled, making you blush for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. 

“i’ll see you tomorrow then?” you said, looking up at him and jisung nodded. “see you tomorrow” jisung smiled back, waving as you ran off to meet with your friend. now if he could just grow a pair and text you tonight it could play out perfectly for him. 

after having to drag a very wasted chenle to the uber and to the hotel, jisung washed up, getting out of the bathroom to see chenle sprawled on the bed, clearly not following the rule they set to stay on one side of the bed. he sighed, drying his hair with the towel and sitting on his side of the bed, or what was left of it. 

he looked down at his phone and his thoughts only drifted to you, you would’ve texted him by now if you wanted to talk to him. what if you dropped your phone in the bathtub? or worse someone stole it. maybe you were asleep? whatever it was jisung was overthinking and his head was starting to hurt because of it. 

he laid down in bed, the only things that were heard in the room was chenles soft snores and the hum of the ac. once again, his mind just kept drifting to you. maybe he was too pushy? maybe you didn’t want to give your number to someone and he forced you to so that’s why you weren’t texting him yet. jisung looked at his phone and groaned once more, feeling fed up with all the thoughts in his head. 

he unlocked his phone and went to his messages, starting a new chat with his contact. his thumbs played over the keyboard, trying to figure out what to say. after five minutes of typing and retyping his text, he finally sent it, immediately flipping over his phone and turning to the other side so he wasn’t tempted to look. 

jisung [11:37 pm]: hi :) 

your phone buzzed in your hand and you looked up to see the text notification, immediately sitting up. “what?” ningning mumbled next to you and peered over, also immediately sitting up. “oh my god you got his number you sly girl!” ningning teased, slapping your arm playfully. you turned to her with your shocked expression and her smile dropped, slightly confused. 

“what do i do?! i don’t even know what to say and i didnt think he would text me i mean i was hoping he would but i didn’t think he would you know!” you rambled, ningning trying to keep up. “okay calm down uhm.. just say hi back! what could go wrong” she smiled and you nodded, faking a smile. ningning was wrong everything could go wrong 

what if he thought you were desperate for replying so quick, or maybe he was asleep and he wouldn’t see until the morning so it would just be weird. you stared back at the text, now overly anxious. usually you had no issue texting people but this was different, he was a guy but not just a guy he was a guy you wanted. 

jisung was a cutie and you can admit that you were attracted to him so it meant something that he texted you first. you sighed, trying to push your nerves down and opened the text to begin texting him. your thumbs did a little dance over the keyboard, trying to think of something to say. 

jisung picked up his phone again, the screen still open to the conversation and his eyes widened when he saw your typing bubbles. he waited very impatiently as the bubbles appeared and disappeared, finally uncovering the message you were typing. 

yn [11:42 pm]: hi :) what’s up jisung [11:42 pm]: nothing just wanted to see what u were doing :D yn [11:43 pm]: ohh, i just got in bed lol. wbu?? jisung [11:43 pm]: i’m in bed too hahah  jisung [11:43 pm]: there’s a full moon tn, not sure if u saw  jisung [11:44 pm]: it’s pretty  jisung [11:44 pm]: you know if ur interested in that stuff :)  jisung [11:44 pm]: cool if ur not yk 

you read the incoming texts jisung was sending and smiled, holing back a giggle since ningning was now fast asleep. you shifted in bed and got up to open the curtain, looking at the full moon up in the sky. he was right, it was really pretty. you smiled down at your phone and typed away. 

yn [11:46 pm]: it is really pretty, thanks for telling me :)) 

jisung smiled down at your message, shifting his position in bed so now his back was facing chenle. he smiled as he typed his message to you, feeling his cheeks turn a slight shade of pink. 

jisung [11:46 pm]: yeah ofc, so are u gonna head to bed?  yn [11:47 pm]: most likely, im exhausted :/  jisung [11:48 pm]: lol me too, my legs hurt  yn [11:49 pm]: see u in the morning :) ??

jisung read this text over and over, smiling even bigger the more he read it. he felt like such a high schooler during this whole thing because he was fighting the urge to giggle and hug his pillow like a schoolgirl. 

jisung [11:50 pm]: yeah totally, see u in the morning yn :) yn [11:51 pm]: night night !!  jisung [11:51 pm]: night night <3 

the second jisung sent that text he immediately regretted it, seeing the heart on his screen. he groaned, flipping his phone over and holding his head in his hands. he was so dumb, you were probably so weirded out now. 

you smiled reading his text, giggling to yourself. your cheeks started to feel hot as you laid back down in bed, the text still echoing in your head. you picked up your phone from the nightstand and typed away, hitting send on the text you were typing. then flipping your phone over so you could head to bed. 

yn [11:52 pm]: <33 

jisung read the text and smiled bigger than he ever had, almost squealing. he liked the message and set his phone down, a smile still big on his face. he turned over to face the nightstand, getting ready to head to bed, his mind still plagued with you. for once, he was glad chenle forced him out to do something. 

taglist : @kisseudoll @hyuckworld @lqfiles @hyuckworld @bywonyo @aerifim

dream taglist

© all rights to sungbites 2025. please do not copy, translate or repost my works

[star-writes-sometimes]

tattooartist!thanos reactions to you #whimpering and #moaning when he tattoos you

a/n - thank you so much for the request pretty!! please send me more thanos requests i love him so much

c/w - fluff, tattoo stuff

—

it’s going to look pretty. it’s going to look pretty.

that’s what you keep telling yourself. the mantra is swirling around your head as you sit on thanos’ tattoo bench. your body is tense and you’re biting down on your lip so harshly it wouldn’t surprise you if it starts to bleed.

thanos is tattooing your wrist. his head is tilted to the side slightly in his focus, and you can tell from the way his other hand holds your skin in place that he is being as gentle as possible.

“the girl ended up losing her shoe in the river,” he’s telling you a story, but you're only half paying attention. still, his voice is a good background noise that helps distract you from the menacing buzz of the needle.

as he moves to an even more sensitive part of your skin, you tense up, and a small, uncontrollable noise escapes your throat.

“still doing okay, baby?” he asks, pulling you back into reality and giving your raw skin a break.

you try to force your body to relax and smile tightly, “yeah, keep going. please.” you want this over as quick as possible.

he nods and turns the needle back on. you squeeze your eyes shut, the anticipation is almost worse than the pain.

when the needle touches your skin again, you can’t help but let out more small whimpers. you can feel your cheeks heat in embarrassment, and you look away from where thanos is tattooing you.

his smile only grows, and his grip on your hand tightens slightly, “cute noises, princess.”

“shut up,” you whine.

“it’s not a bad thing,” he says smugly, “i’m enjoying it.”

“it’s not for your enjoyment,” you say, a small pained moan escaping your lips.

he laughs, “is this what you sound like in bed, sweets?”

you grit your teeth and try to swallow down your whimpers, “no."

“can i get proof of that?” he grins even more.

if he wasn’t holding a needle to your skin you would smack him. you lean your head back as you try to focus on staying quiet.

thanos, predictably, continues his teasing, “you’re actually helping me out here, baby. i won’t have to rely as much on my imagination anymore when i’m picturing what you’d be like underneath me.”

you swallow harshly at his words and glare at him, “thanos.”

“you tellin’ me you haven’t thought about me that way,” he says cockily and clicks his tongue, “i’m disappointed, pretty. thought you liked me.”

you let out a few small whimpers as he fills in a small section on your wrist bone. “i don’t like you like that,” you finally manage to say.

he tsks in disappointment, “lying isn’t a good look on you, flower.”

you bite back any more comments and try to focus on watching the needle, ignoring the way his eyes flicker up to your face for fleeting moments.

after only a few more minutes he’s pulling the needle away and giving your hand a reassuring squeeze, “unfortunately for me i’m all done. almost considered draggin’ it out but i know those little noises would be so much sweeter if they weren’t coming from pain.”

your face feels even hotter, and you try your best to look annoyed with him as he starts to wrap up your new tattoo.

you stay quiet as he cleans up and tosses a few small tubes of aftercare cream on your lap. his leg starts bouncing, and he rolls his chair close to you, invading your personal space in a way you’re used to by now.

“you’re not actually upset with me, are you?” he asks quietly.

you shake your head but he doesn’t seem convinced.

he takes both of your hands in his, “was only teasing, baby.”

“i know,” you say. that’s why it hurt. it was only teasing. he didn’t mean it.

his thumbs are drawing shapes on your skin as he pulls you even closer to him, “i have to tease you, lovely.”

you frown and tilt your head slightly, “i don’t think it’s mandatory.”

he laughs, “oh it most definitely is. i gotta even the score.”

“even the score?”

“yeah, pretty. it’s bad enough having you sitting there all pretty for me, listenin’ to me, being all obedient. and now those cute little noises? drivin’ me insane, flower.” he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

you blink slowly as you process his words. his grip tightens on your hands, carefully avoiding the fresh tattoo.

“please don't be mad at me,” he says. it's the softest you've ever heard him speak.

you smile shyly and shake your head, “i'm not.”

you must be more convincing this time because he grins and stands up. he pushes your hair back and kisses your forehead affectionately.

“good. can't have my favourite customer mad at me,” he hums.

“i don't think i could be mad at you.”

his grin widens and he squeezes your shoulders, “and i'm forever grateful for that.”

—

[shipper4everships]

BuckTommy Fluffebruary: Day 16

~AU: didn’t know they were dating~

It all started by chance. Buck had just started his service at 118th station, while Tommy was in the process of transferring to station 217. Tommy’s transfer was delayed, so they began working together. Tommy was usually a composed and somewhat introverted guy, not quick to let people close, but Buck was so sincere and open that Tommy let his guard down.

They became friends, and Tommy showed Buck some of his secret tricks that helped him on the job, which later came in handy for Buck on calls. 

"Hey, you only told me about them in my second year here - why does the rookie get such privileges?" Eddie asked teasingly. 

On their days off, they sometimes went to the gym together or invited each other to the bar for a beer and to watch a match. 

"I thought you weren't very into basketball before, Buck. Something changed?" Chim in with a grin. Buck just waved off the question.

When it came time for Tommy to complete his transfer to station 217, he briefly thought about refusing it because he was afraid their communication would end. But Buck turned out to be better than he could have imagined and supported Tommy’s decision to transfer.

"If flying is your dream, then you have to follow it!" 

Tommy couldn’t argue with that.

Now they didn’t see each other as often, but they were always in touch. There were nights when they both stayed up until morning, texting or talking on the phone about everything under the sun.

"Buck, you look awful... You were up all night talking to Tommy again, should I tell him to stop messing up your schedule?" Hen said, half-seriously, half-joking.

"He’s not messing anything up, I called him first!" Buck blurted out, then realized what he’d said.

They continued meeting occasionally at the bar, but it became harder to sync up due to shift changes. One day, Tommy suggested Buck come over to his place for a couple of hours so they could see each other, and Buck gladly accepted.

They kept visiting each other to watch movies or cook together. Until one day, the moment happened: Buck cuddled up to Tommy while they were watching a horror movie, and Tommy turned to him and kissed him in the dim light of the room. To Buck’s surprise, he didn’t pull away. On the contrary, he eagerly joined in.

Since that evening, not much changed between them, except that their texts became more flirtatious, their touches more frequent, and that kiss on the couch wasn’t the last, but rather the first in a series of others.

They wished each other safety before every shift, and it was always the case, but now it felt different - as though there was something more behind that wish, as if they started caring for each other more.

Buck wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but he was afraid of losing the connection that was growing between them, so he decided to keep everything between the two of them and see where it could lead.

Was it really a surprise when, not long after, they slept together for the first time in Buck’s loft? They didn’t talk about it or anything that happened between them, but Buck lay in bed in Tommy’s arms the next morning, feeling like he was exactly where he needed to be.

Maddy called him a few days later and invited him to dinner at the Buckley-Han house, and Buck enthusiastically agreed.

"Buck, I just wanted to check… if you want, you don’t have to come alone," Maddy said cautiously.

"…What do you mean?" Buck was caught off guard by her words.

"Maybe you’ll introduce us to your boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend?" Buck asked, glancing at Tommy, who was sitting across the table from him. Tommy had overheard Buck’s part of the conversation and looked at him. In his eyes, Buck saw curiosity and something more… maybe hope?

Buck ran through their relationship over the past few months in his mind, and everything in his head and heart finally fell into place.

"Yeah, you’re right." Buck smiled into the phone. "Set another place at the table because I’m bringing my boyfriend." Buck said those words and caught Tommy’s answering smile.

When he hung up, Buck leaned across the table, and warm lips met him halfway.

He wasn’t sure where this would lead, but now he knew. Now he would do it right. @bucktommyfluffebruary 💗

[haveihitanerve]

The Book Game: Slugs and Chinese-

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T READ CHINESE?!?!?!

(I am working on Toby’s Pocket commentary I swear) I saw this one yesterday and its too fucking funny and also shorter so here you all are :) hope you enjoy

Tom: did anyone come to a comedy show- Audience member: *my time has come* Tom: *wait I wasn’t done with my epic monologue, its really funny I swear :(*worried that it would be boring as hell- Sam: *laughing maniacally* AJ: jesus

Aj: *opens book, stares, shock, turns to audience*

I love how the second the audience starts laughing at AJ’s shock, Tom immediately knows its because of him and cuts off to look at him. They’re so fucking cute

Luke going to inspect the book, finding nothing amiss in the title, and then exploding when he sees the writing inside- I’m having flashbacks to Lonely Planet When Europe

Luke so delighted he has to cross the stage and almost falls into Tom 🫠😭

Tom having to inspect the book too because ok now Luke has been laughing for too long and he’s curious lol

“Yeah tom you bigot!” Sam needed an excuse to join the chaos and of course, insulting tom is the way to go XD

Tom’s resigned sigh and drop of the book as AJ and Luke lose it. They delight each other so much its absolutely wonderful to see

“So lukes gonna introduce this game now-” Tom wants to be a part of the chaos XD

“Make sure its not racist okay?” Tom had to shift the attention to someone else lmaoo

I just adore how they did not, in fact, think to return the book and get one they understand because, for the bit, they know this book is best, and that they specifically made AJ keep it, because he is the chaos king and would do best by it XD

“A little knowledge…” Luke: *waiting expectantly for him to finish the sentence, then finishes it for him because the sentence in the book is not that* i love them so much omg

“OH! BAD TEMPERED THOUGHT!” LMFAOOO WHAT???

“Ooh… ohhh malice!” Sam i adore you XD

Here comes aj XD

“What does that say?” YESS AJ!!! SNEAKY CLEVER BOI!!! YES!!!

“YOU MEAN YOU DON’T READ CHINESE??!??!” BETRAYED AJ HELPPPP- his life is flashing before his eyes dude is panicking

Audience member: *frantic* my dad does! AJ: *quickly scoots further* oh!

Aj having to break for a second and just lay still as a dying slug because what even is his life XD

“Play hateful, this.” His face helpppp-

Also love how that actually worked really well in the scene???

Tom: *introducing himself into the scene, literally* Sam: *reciprocating* AJ: [desperately] does anybody else speak chinese?!?!

“It goes with high heels.” AJ needing to fold his head into his arms to laugh, Tom pausing the scene because he heard that and what, Luke laughing at AJ’s pain, and Sam trying to keep them focused XD

AJ’s little leg kicks im crying

“MAKE NO MISTAKES!!!” Tom sounds genuinely distressed lmaoo

“OOOOHHHH!” *frantically trying to find a good line comeback*

“Variation in your tactics!” Confirmed that all that matters while speaking is proper tone because that sounds withering coming from Tom, but is actually a very mild sentence lol

Aj standing and Tom genuinely surprised while Luke and Sam fake surprise XD

“THAts not FAir!” Tom’s hands shooting up in surrender and his little grin at AJ that makes AJ smile back 🫠😭

Sam: “Troublemaker!” it is true 🤷‍♂️ AJ: *flipping open his book, forgetting he doesn't speak chinese* chapter four. Brilliant words, truly eloquent aj🤧

Aj and Sam doing “and scene” in unison, every time they do it it kills me for no reason

AND SCENE

Ahhhhh that was fucking glorious. Loved every single second of it, and this means that when I finally get to go to one of their shows, I’m bringing a German book, it has been decided lol. 

Anyway hope you guys found as much enjoyment in AJ’s distress and the other guy’s mutual delight as I did, and I shall return as quickly as possible with Toby’s Secret Pocket and Jingle Boys commentary :) 

BYEBYE!!!

@snek-of-eden @dawn-speckled

[staranghae]

baby you drive me crazy

summary. seokmin and reader meet at a young changemakers convention because that's how filthy rich people have meet-cutes. :)

pairing. nepo kid ceo! l.sm x self-made ceo! fem! reader genre. fluff, crack., meet-cute warnings. profanity, mentions of alchohol w/c. 1.4k a/n. ah yes. finely marinated fanfiction, delicious. ( i mean this in all seriousness, this has been in my drafts since august of last year so...) song recc. unlock it (lock it) by charli xcx and jay park

seokmin really needed to start finding better ways to get out of these events. his age old excuse of "there's a really important project for the quarter due in a few weeks and i'm utterly clueless about it" was starting to wear thin considering the fact that half of these parties happen towards the end of the year when his company has already wrapped up their projects.

but then, this particular convention didn't seem like the rest. it was the annual "young changemakers" convention, his first one since he took over the company. he'd talked to a grand total of six people his age in the few hours he'd been there, and all of them had done nothing but brag about their money and wealth! not one of them seemed actually interested in the business aspect of the well, you know, running a business. to seokmin, this was better than being surrounded by a bunch of middle-aged people asking very invasive questions about his private life.

as he kept wandering about the convention, making small talk here and there with a few familiar faces, he spots you, sitting on one of the corner tables nursing a glass of chardonnay. he quickly calls over his secretary,

"minghao, come here. i need you to do something for me."

xu minghao, seokmin's secretary of the past seven years, was quite accustomed to his boss' peculiar requests. despite being the same age, minghao was far more perceptive and mature as compared to seokmin. he finishes off his glass of wine and walks over, exasperated.

"yes sir, what is it?"

"do you happen to have any idea of who that is?" he says, pointing to you.

minghao looks over at you and back at seokmin.

"are you seriously telling me you have no idea who she is?" questions minghao, annoyed by his boss' lack of ability to remember crucial information during networking events such as this one.

seokmin looks over at him, completely clueless about your identity.

minghao answers with a sigh,

"that's y/n, the ceo of l/n enterprises. i specifically mentioned her to you because she's the only person here without a family business. her company was completely built by her and her alone. also, her achievements are exemplary, she made the dean's list at harvard and is one of our major shareholders so technically speaking, she's kinda like your boss."

seokmin blinks at him. "in commoner words, please?"

"basically, she's the only one here who isn't a damn nepo baby and happens to own a good chunk of our company."

"ah! got it."

"so if i'm done here, i will take my leave."

minghao turns on his heel and leaves before seokmin has the chance to say anything. he just chuckles to himself and starts walking towards you when he hears minghao call after him,

"also, i didn't tell you this but your father has been trying to set up a blind date with her for you. something about you being incapable of making her fall for you on your own or something."

now, more determined than ever, he walks over to you and sits down across you.

"hi, i'm seokmin, ceo of lee enterprises, and you are?"

"y/n, your blind date for tomorrow evening. although i'm guessing your father hasn't told you about it yet."

he looks away, flustered. you laugh and he might as well have gotten whiplash with how fast he turned his head to look at you.

"he might've. i get quite a few of those, so i tend to lose track."

you stare at him incredulously. you knew about him from your uni days, the only nepo kid in oxford business that gave a fuck about his academics enough to make it onto the dean's list. now, here he was, sitting in front of you, looking and acting every bit the cocky brat you didn't expect him to be. you voice this thought out loud,

"i didn't expect someone who ended up on the dean's list at oxford to act like this but apparently, appearences can be deceiving after all"

seokmin visibly lights up at the mention of the dean's list. you see, only a handful of people actually bothered to find out about him as a person rather than as just an extension of his father and lee enterprises. so, when someone generally tried finding out about him, the dean's list was one of the first things that would pop up.

"you know about the dean's list at oxford business?"

you roll your eyes, "well yeah, obviously! we were required to know who we would be competing against in the industry so we had to find out about the dean's list of most ivy league b-schools"

seokmin has never admired someone as much as he admires you in that exact moment.

"so, about that date..."

you look at him over the rim of your wine glass, "what about it?"

seokmin can't believe it. he's about to ask someone out on a date. like a normal person.

"um, well, instead of, y'know, letting my dad decide the time and place and everything, i was wondering if i could take you out. as lee seokmin, business nerd, not as lee seokmin, ceo."

you chuckle at his description of himself.

"business nerd?" that's an interesting nickname to give yourself."

"i didn't give it to myself, my best friend did. we weren't in the same university but that didn't stop us from being absolute headaches to each other from opposite ends of the world."

"best friend? is it someone in the industry or..?"

"oh, he's the heir to jeon and kim associates."

you've heard the name before. jeon & kim.

"wait, is your friend mingyu?"

seokmin is surprised at the mention. he nods excitedly, looking like an eager poodle.

"d'you know him?"

"know him?! i studied with him! the two of us always partnered up for group projects because we meshed so well together," as you're rattling off about your memories with mingyu to seokmin, you remember it.

"WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! YOU'RE MINNIE?!"

seokmin snorts his soda at your sudden outburst. he's still coughing and sputtering as you apologise to the people who had turned around to stare at you while passing him tissues to clean himself up. once everything is back into the lull it was in previously, you elaborate,

"you're minnie, right?"

seokmin recalls his friend constantly calling him that when on call with him so he nods, a wave of nostalgia washing over him at the fond memories. he really needs to catch up with gyu soon. maybe he could get minghao to set up a meeti-

"i always thought he was talking about his girlfriend whenever he talked about 'minnie'. turns out it was you, huh? funny."

seokmin pauses mid-sip to give you a look that says 'are you kidding me?'

"okay, first of all, he already had a girlfriend when he was in college to whom he got married to last month. secondly, if the two of you are so close, then how come i didn't see you at the wedding, huh?"

"probably because i was the maid of honour and busy making sure it was perfect, but y'know, who cares."

seokmin vividly remembers the maid of honour at mingyu's wedding. and it was not you.

"okay, i remember that day really well and know for a fact that the maid of honour had red hair, and you don't."

"ever heard of hair dye, seokmin?" you reply dryly.

seokmin lets out a laugh at that and you become mesmerised for a moment because wow! how is a person so pretty and handsome and smart at the same time?

finally out of things to talk about, you and seokmin look around the room, trying to find something to keep the conversation going. seokmin gives up first, finally asking the million dollar question,

"d'you wanna get out of here? i'm honestly just bored at this point."

you look back at him with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes,

"you wanna go on that blind date right now? the food here isn't all that great and i know a really good seafood place nearby."

seokmin could really go for some seafood right about now. he nods and gets up from the table, and you follow suit. the two of you manage to make it out undetected, much to the disappointment of your secretaries, who only find out about your escapade through the headline of the dispatch article released the next day.

"Mated for life or just another fish in the sea? CEOs of L/N Enterprises and Lee Enterprises spotted on a romantic date at seafood restaurant."

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[whatthebodygraspsnot]

part two of baby sub ian tags: sex club, first time sub! ian, experienced dom! mickey, ian is nervous and cute and doesn’t know what he wants exactly, all he knows is he’s very into mickey [ part one ]

“Fuck,” he grins, giving Ian’s cheek two promising pats before stepping away, “you’re gonna be fun.”

It leaves Ian with another flutter in his chest. A buzz humming to life beneath his skin as he watches after him, his face warm where he was pat just a tiny bit harder. 

“Lose the shirt.”

A blink. More buzzing - a touch frantic this time. Because wait. “You mean right now?”

It must not be the right thing to say, but can you blame him? They’re moving fast. Or maybe they aren’t. It’s not like this guy’s got Ian strung upside down from the ceiling ropes, it’s just-

The sudden impact of a chair landing in front of him has Ian’s head flying back - nowhere near within range, but still startled because Jesus-

In one smooth, controlled motion, the dom sits himself and then leans in on his elbows until he’s blocked out everything else in Ian’s field of vision. Only him. Only what he’s saying. “Lemme tell you how shit works in here.” 

Oh fuck, Ian’s getting in trouble already. How’d he manage to fuck up so quick?

And since when does getting in trouble send a nasty little horny swoop through him?

“You’re a baby, so I don’t expect you to know. But you better turn your fuckin’ Listening Ears on because after this, I do. Got it?”

Ian nods, blinking owlishly. 

“Say ‘yes sir’.”

Fuck. “Yes sir.”

He hooks his fingers into the front of Ian’s shirt collar and tugs him impossibly closer, shooting excitement up his spine and then pooling in his belly. “I tell you to do something, you do it. Yes?”

“Yes sir.”

“You don’t do it, what do you think happens?”

Ian swallows thickly, eyes pulling up from the hypnotizing revelation of watching that mouth move up close. “Wh-... Um…” What happens? “Probably…whatever you wanna do to me, sir…?”

An educated guess. Filling in blanks.

And fucking finally, one that seems to please, the grin that works across the dom’s face only the slightest bit patronizing. “See? Knew you weren’t dumb… Now, arms up.”

With a little exhale of victory on the lean back, Ian does just that - hands up and elbows bent and oh - okay - they’re getting tugged higher, controlling hands wrapping around his wrists and manhandling them upward together until he’s stretched all the way. Right! Up-up, he meant.

The touch stays true - not exactly squeezing but definitely firm - the close rush of it all filling his senses with the warm, tempting smell of his cologne.

Ian can feel himself squirming just the slightest bit on the pillow, shoulders to his ears. And when the grip around his wrists eases off, he’s smart enough now to fill in the blanks for himself. Keep his arms up. Be patient. Do as Sir says.

Because he’s speaking again, voice slow and steady. “I’ll help you. How’s that sound…”

His fingertips brush beneath the hem of his shirt. Make Ian’s stomach tense in a flutter of anticipation. Sounds pretty fucking good to him. “Thank you, sir…”

The slip of cotton over his skin is agonizingly unrushed. Like the dom is doing this more for himself than anything - unwrapping a gift that’s been left for him to play with.

“Let’s see what you brought me tonight…”

And Ian doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be focusing on. The very pointed tease of that last wording? The feeling of his shirt being slid up and over his chest…his shoulders…his face…exposing him to the room and blue, scrutinizing eyes?

There’s an ache starting to build in his arms and also much, much lower. 

Warm cotton slips past his hands. Pulls free from him entirely, his t-shirt now nothing more than a mess on the floor. But he’s got no trouble focusing on the subtle brow quirk in front of him now, those eyes taking their time to pour over Ian’s bare chest and lower.

It’s like he’s getting eaten alive, without a single touch. Like he’s going through the most intense inspection of his life. 

And… “Am I-...” Jesus Christ, the silence… “Do you…like me, sir…?”

It comes out crazy needy. Pathetic, almost - something Ian wasn’t aiming for in any way while trying to break the silence.

But Sir fucking likes that, doesn’t he? It must explain the grin that’s starting to dance across his face, amused and maybe just the slightest bit endeared. “You’re takin’ care of yourself. That’s good.” And then, the air drawing from the room as he leans forward, foreheads practically touching to murmur nice and close, “And you speak outta turn again, you’re gettin’ hit. You hear me?”

Exhilarating. Goosebumps rising over his bare skin. A thrill that edges into something nasty as it works between Ian's legs. Because holy fuck. “Yes sir…” he says up to him, in his best-behaved voice. “Sorry, sir…”

The dom nods with him, slipping back into that patronizing tease as he leans back, chain glinting. And when those hands work their way over Ian for the first time - steady, warm, sliding confidently up the sides of his neck as he lets out an easy exhale - Jesus Christ, Ian's ready to commit to pretty much anything.

Because it hasn’t even been that long since he stepped into the room, but now that he’s given Ian his touch, it feels like he’s been waiting an eternity. 

“Oh…” he breathes out, eyes growing strangely heavy as tattooed hands work up his neck…around the nape…and then slide down his chest to hook below his armpits and give his sides a firm squeeze… Holy fuck, that feels good… Different, but immediately pleasurable...

“Gonna needya to be a fast learner for me, okay Ian…?” he hears like some sort of strange fever dream, only then realizing his eyes have closed. “Wanna use all our time right…not waste any tellin’ you the same shit over and over…”

His hands squeeze over his ribs again, indulgent, and then work up to feel over Ian’s chest, another one of those swoops of arousal dipping low as teasing thumbs brush across his nipples.

“You hear me…?”

Ian forces his eyes open. Can feel heat spreading in his face and creeping down his neck. “I hear you, sir…”

Another tease of his nipples. Fingers trailing down and up…down and up…down and up…

“You lift a lotta weights, tough guy…?”

“Yes sir…”

“Then you can keep your fuckin’ arms up until I say, can’tya…”

Ian blinks his eyes back open in surprise - pulling himself back to where he’s kneeling - where he���s being felt up, now very much with his arms fallen back down to his sides.

Whoops.

Not exactly sure when that happened, but he’s quick to correct it, shoulders pressing over his ears again. “Sorry…”

“Just talked about wastin’ my time.”

“I know.” A tiny pang of worry pulses through his heart as he tries to hold the dom’s gaze in such a vulnerable pose. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just-...” God… “I just like it…” Sir’s hands on him… “It feels good…”

Surely he can understand. Ian is just a baby, after all - his words.

He fires off a little brow furrow for good measure, hoping to win some points.

And it must be working, because he hasn’t stopped touching him. And he’s not yelling at him. He’s just looking, keeping Ian locked in his sights as he slides one hand up the column of his throat and then leaves it there - the slightest pressure. “You think just ‘cause you’re cute, I’m gonna let shit slide…?”

A warning. 

No. An opportunity.

Because…

“...maybe…?” Ian tries, breaking out that best-behaved voice again. “...sometimes…?”

And god, the dom just peers at him - straight into his soul - working every bit of Ian out and coming to his own conclusions - things Ian could never hope to understand about himself without these tattooed, guiding hands. “Might be your first time and all, but shit…” he huffs, right over the trace of a smirk that levels Ian into the ground. “Already know exactly what you are…”

[allthedamnlove]

AQUAMARINE: A RAFE X SOFIA FANFICTION: CHAPTER THREE, PART TWO

Very important: (Please please take note of this warning, if you don't like smut, please skip this chapter)

Content Warning: 18+, Sexual Content, Smut. Please read at your own discretion.

Radio for the chapter:

SOFIA'S POV:

I can feel blood rushing from the axis of my head to the edge of my lips to the curling neurons in my toes. Reality melted away into vapour and breathed into wisps of air between our kisses. All I could feel was Rafe; his insatiable lips and, his calloused fingertips softly plunging into my skin. We both were rooted to our haven; on the corner of the fireplace but our hands were skirting all over our bodies; searching for an oasis to quench our parched desires. Desires that can only be satiated by indenting my skin onto his and fitting into each other like two mismatched yet perfect pieces of a puzzle. 

His hands, like velvet slipping onto my skin, glided all over my body as he sweetly suffocated me with his kisses. I couldn’t help it, I was a women addicted; my tongue exploring the edges of his mouth and his plunging into mine. His fingers were delicate as it traced along my body; goosebumps and a stir of arousal blooming between my thighs. I think I moaned for the first time in her life when his hands slowly feathered over her back, teetering towards the flimsy strap of my soaked bikini, my breasts peeking from the wet material. I let out a sigh as he stopped his shower of kisses on me as his bewitching eyes silently begged me to let him take my top off; I was ready to give it all at that moment if he asked me to. His assault on my lips and my whole being continued as he resumed kissing me senseless, while his hands violently ripped off the thin straps of my wet bikini. I couldn’t help but moan again inside his mouth as I heard the final straws of my conscience as well as my red top got torn into shreds. 

I lost my religion  as Rafe’s lips followed the line along the middle of my lips to my neck, smothering me with his kisses and then along the valley of my breasts, his head nestling in them as his hands slipped into my pathetic excuse of bikini bottoms. I can feel the blood pumping along with my toes curling as his long fingers slowly massaged and pinched my clit alternatively, my quim getting wetter and wetter every millisecond his hands and mouth were capturing my body. 

I hope to God that no one else can hear me screaming in untamed pleasure, “Ahh! Ahh. Rafe, Dios Mio, Ahh!”

He abruptly stopped his kisses on my chest as he looked up, those cerulean eyes now turning stormy blue. 

“You okay with this?” he whispered, his cherry red, bitten lips parting to catch air. 

Words lost it’s phonetics and meaning as all I could was just nod at him. He crept up to my lips again, crashing his mouth on mine as his middle fingers plunged into my wetness; instantly moaning into each other's mouths. One fingers turned to two; one kiss on the mouth turned to hundred more on the mounds of my tits, repeatedly sucking my nipples and my legs started to give out with the amount of lust my body was receiving and giving to him. My clit and my mound was aching as his fingers kept pinching and moving inside me, I felt a ball of pleasure slowly but surely unraveling out of my body, my moans going more frantic and unintelligible. My hands held tight to his face, the feel of his buzzcut on my digits further making my pussy quiver. 

“Ahh! Rafe, no te detengas, Don’t stop…Uh, I’m gonna….”

“Yea baby, it’s okay, cum on my fingers,” his fingers started to slid in and out faster, his lips suckling and biting both of my breasts. With all the stimulation, my legs started to give out, visibly shaking as I reached the peak of my first ever orgasm. Thank God for the wall supporting my back or I would have fallen on the floor. 

Rafe stopped his ministrations as he looked at me losing myself in lust, eyes closed and mouth parted; the weight of the orgasm still kicking in. His spit smitten lips planted another small kiss on my cheeks and the corner of my mouth,

“Sof, you feel good. God, that was so fucking hot”

Our breaths came in quick, rapid succession; feeling the weight of what just happened now. I thought that it was the most erotic thing I have ever experienced. That thought got quickly suspended as Rafe slowly pulled out his fingers from my soaked pussy and placed his fingers near my mouth. I must have been in a sleepless, hazy trance as I opened my mouth with no caution and tasted myself on his fingers. Rafe softly moaned as I sucked his digits clean; lost in our own pleasures.

At one point, we both couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted, no, unquestionably needed him, his chiseled body to play with me, worship me, break and make me at the same time. I craved to feel his skin on me as I cried out in pleasure. And I think Rafe caught onto it as he picked me up for the second time that night, his fingers begrudgingly leaving my lips as his thighs grabbed the flesh of my thighs and hiked me up in his strong arms. The distance to the bed was miniscule but I didn’t care, I nestled myself onto his neck, inhaling his perfume and musk and kissing his nape as he threw me softly on his California King sized bed. 

I fell unceremoniously on the silky sheets, letting a whine of dismissal. I missed his blazing touch and kisses, even if it was for a second. But my lover quelled my worries as he joined me, his sinewed body caging into mine, nearly making me invisible in his big, strong arms. 

For a flash, I was calculating the aftermath of my actions, never in my life, I have done anything like this before. All I know is his name and that he kisses like how love letters from estranged lovers felt like and that he gives and takes, takes love and lust like he has nothing else to lose. 

And maybe I have lost too much, but I do have some things left to lose. Virginity is a social construct, I know but I know that after this night, I may discover a side of me that I have never even met before and that scares me. 

However, with the way Rafe’s mouth slot on mine perfectly like it was destiny, I threw my last ounce of caution onto the wind. I never knew that I was this desperate for sex. But this perfect stranger, this amorous, man with way too much reputation and secrets on his sleeve is all I ever need for now, at this beating moment. 

I started to paw the hem of his shirt, my eyes wanting to feast on his delicious figure. With no hesitation, he took off his polo in a swift motion. Drool and another wave of desire pooled in my mouth as I hesitantly touched his chest and his abs, the taut yet smooth skin causing me to whimper. His abs flexed as my fingers feathered over his V-line, the small hairs trailing up to his clothed length.  

His lips got to work again as he kissed me ardently; Rafe slithering like paint on canvas as he trailed his kisses from my mouth, to my neck; giving small pecks to my bitten lips, to my top of my chest right above my hungry breasts. His eyes flit to mine in a silent prayer as he put an end to my frustration as he slapped my tits, my senses overstimulated to the brim that only Rafe can satisfy to make it go away. Smacking the globes of my tits, his lips were relentless in his loving, as he alternatively sucked and licked my left breast while his hands massaged the other one. I dug my fingers on to his head as I kept whimpering, 

“Uh! Uh!”

After torturously painting my chest with his kisses, his lips trailed further south, fleeting small smooch to my hips as he lowered himself near my mound. His eyes never left mine as his calloused hands touched my thighs, and without any inhibition but only unadulterated lust and feeling of sex on my mind, I parted my thighs for him. I don’t know what came over me; I felt shy, anxious that I am going to share my body with a man but at the same time I was too drunk in lust. I was on the edge of raw carnal desires possessing my body and when Rafe’s voiced dropped to a low vibrato, I gave in to my deepest desires of being utterly consumed by someone else sensually. 

To be simply put, I want Rafe to fuck me. I want him to pour all of his frustrations and lust on me. 

He parted his lips in awe as he stared at my pussy, mound hairs and all, he didn’t waste any time as his lips attacked my wanton quim and suctioned my clit. I screamed as I felt the newly familiar feeling of my orgasm unwinding from its tight confines; my spine arching like a pantheress on heat. He didn’t stop his carnage as he kissed and suckled on my clit and pussy like a man parched on a desert. But he slid his tongue in my weeping hole and licked my slit, I died of pleasure from my second orgasm. I came violently, thrashing onto his body and gripping his face to make him stay there like a vice while he thrusted his hips on the bed sheets. He groaned loudly as he kept plunging his fingers in my lips while giving small eskimo kisses and saying, “Good girl, you came so hard. Your pussy is so fucking tight and cute, I want to destroy it”

My speaking abilities got reduced to moans as I blabbered, “Rafe, I can’t, please…please…”

“Please what, princess? You want me to do what?” he taunted as he slapped my clit, eliciting a kitten-like whine from me. 

Mother fucker. 

“Ah! Ah! Don’t make…don’t make me say it, Rafe” 

He smirked devilishly, slapping my clit again, “Want me to fuck you, Sofia? You wanna fuck me, Sofia?”

I nodded my head vigorously as I whined, “Por favor, please Rafe, I can’t….I can’t take it anymore”

He crept up to my eyeline now, his hands slowly peeling off his Calvin Kleins as he kissed me again, each kiss making a loud SMACK sound. 

“I know, I know, baby. I know your poor pussy has never taken a dick before. Well, Rafe’s going to take care of you sweet girl. God, you look so fucking hot naked”

We both were bare now, naked and pulsing with anticipation. My eyes bulged as I saw his length bobbing as he took off his boxers; the girth of it making me close my legs for a second. 

Oh my god, the girls were right. He has a big dick. 

But my body betrayed me as wetness started to pool in my clit, his thick shaft making me physically heave, my nipples pebbling in lust. 

He was quick to stop my worries as he noticed my mixed disposition, “What happened? You ok, Sof?”

“Yea…” I gulped in a breath as I stammered, “is your….going to fit in my….”

“What? You think my dick won’t go into your pussy?”

“Huh.” 

His smile was cocky yet soft as he smothered his face in my neck, his thighs parting mine and his hands pumping his hard length, 

“Well, I’m making it fit”

He left his station from my neck, eyes boring into mine and his cock rubbed my clit repeatedly, just lightly touching my soaked mound, my hands going up to his sculpted back, digging my fingers into his skin in unexplainable pleasure. He whispered, “lemme know if it hurts ok, I’m going to go slow, ok”

Again, like a dumb animal, I just nodded, but a silver of fear that the sex will be excruciating, however, amidst the lust filled haze and smell of sex sizzling in the room, I felt his rough hands grab mine delicately near my head, fingers interlocking with mine. In between the wild tug of war between our bodies, a minute but an everlasting feeling of affection washed over me. Out of all the primal kisses and touches, his hand encasing mine felt the most intimate of them. I felt a blanket of unquestionable passion weave through me and him, his amorous eyes and his fingers rubbing soothing circles on my skin channeling his newfound yearning for me. His eyes spoke, “It’s ok, I’ll take care of you”

After a really long time, with no clothes or makeup to mask my scars, both inside and out; I felt adored. Even if he was a stranger, I was cherished. And it feels really freeing to finally see someone look at my body not with disgust; not as piece in their own game but as a woman. 

My other hand cradled his cheek; I was going through so many emotions all at once. Rafe’s eyes closed for a minute as he savoured my touch and tightened his hold on my hand, 

“You good? I’m not going to hurt you Sofia, but we’ll do it only if you want to….I know we just met…”

“I’m a virgin…” His now ink blue eyes were anxious now but again I pasted an innocent kiss on his cheek as I murmured, “But I trust you, just be slow, ok”

“Yea, don’t worry baby. I’ll make you feel good, I promise.”

His towering figure went over my head near the bedside table and hastily opened the drawer and fished out a plastic yet shiny cover, the blue cover with the circular indentation sedimenting my deepest daydream into reality. His hands were shaking as he tore the condom cover open and untwined the rubber but my arms grabbed his and I took the condom from him, silently slithered to his shaft. As my fingers delicately palmed his cock, Rafe hissed in pleasure. It made me feel wet too; with my newfound courage, I starteed to glide my nimble fingers up and down his cock, his abs visibly lifting as I felt pre-cum leaking out of his dick. I closed my eyes in pure lust as I gave him a handjob, the veiny, hard member driving me to the brink of a galaxy of erotic sensations. 

“Stop, Sof…it feels so good…but you…you gotta stop…otherwise…I’m gonna cum…and I really wanna cum in you” Reluctantly I sheathed his length with the condom, his cock slapping his thighs. As my hands stopped my ministrations, Rafe positioned himself between my thighs, he delicately touched them, his touch soft as a feather.  Deliciously his veiny, huge cock slipped into my folds, my wetness feeling an immediate latent pain as he entered me. My thighs felt stretched out and I gasped at the feeling of the unrecognizable intrusion. I grasped his hand tightly, hoping that the pain will fade into unspeakable pleasure. Rafe caught on to my discomfort and started to lift his hips from my slit. 

“Sof, I know, I know…it hurts…I’m sorry. Do you want me to stop?”

“NO! It’s okay…just please don’t stop” my other hand grasped the muscles on his back, my thumbs feeling the sharp planes and ridges of his spine and shoulders. 

He continued to slowly life his hips back and forth, his length sensually disappearing into my hole. I let out a loud scream as his tip hit my pussy and deliberately he rocked back and forth. He groaned as he tried to stuff his dick into my folds, the sound of his moans getting louder as he inched into my pussy little by little. We both were kissing wherever our eyes can see, trying to close the infinitesimally miniscule space between us.  I couldn’t stop moaning and whimpering and my pain was morphing into a heady mix of pleasure and a sharp twinge of mellowed out ache in my slit. I unhooked my hand from his and now both of my arms went up to his shoulder blades as his length hit my cervix.

“You’re so big, I…I feel it everywhere…”

I looked upto his face, beaded with drops of sweat as he grit his teeth as if he was in agony as he said, “Yea, your pussy feels so fucking tight…it’s taking me right in…the cutest pussy ever” 

I couldn’t stop blushing as he just stuffed his dick in my pussy for a couple of seconds, hoping to erase the pain, but fuck, I want him to move. Notwithstanding the anticipation, my hands brushed through the expanse of his back and grabbed the flesh of his butt and pushed it further inside me. I purred near his ear

“Rafe…I can’t take it anymore…please move and take me…”

I never thought I harboured a fiend inside me. Sofia a week ago would have screamed and thrown up if she knew she was going to get the best sex of her life

His groan was feral as he pistoned into me with more force, my wanton, weepy folds throbbing as his hands went up to the headboard and started to move animalistically inside and out of my pussy. The rigid bed started to shake just a tad bit as he decimated my sex, his mouth feasting on my tits again. Both of us gaped at where our bodies met, an familiar coil of arousal forming inside me. He pounded into my slick folds with all his virility, my legs and pussy quivering and spasming as I breathed hard, trying to gulp air to register the overflow of lust flowing throughout my being. 

“Mas, mi bebe. Te sientes tan jodidamente bien, mi carino. Estoy tan cerca, no dejes de follarme.”  

His thrusts became animalistic after I uttered those words, his fingers creeping between our synchronised bodies and pinched my clit and slithered inside my wanton slit, my flesh levitating in an out of body feeling. All I can hear was our mewls, our bodies thawking and the bed creaking boomingly across the room. The coil of pleasure was seconds away to unwind, and when he pistoned one powerful thrust, I unwinded; the climax hitting me in full force. My eyes were blessed with white spots all over my vision and my soul felt euphoric as I felt ropes of my climax oozing out of me. Rafe didn’t stop his fucking me, his thick length slowly pumping in and out with his rosy lips shaping into an “O.” He must be close too. 

Rafe’s hid his face into my neck, nearly tearing up as I heard his muffled yet loud groan as he reached his peak too, cum filling up his condom. We both stilled for a moment, my arms finding its home on his shoulder blades and his neck cradling my face as he buried his face inside my nape. My fingers slowly scraped through the small hairs of his buzzcut as I kept kissing his cheek while he was smacking my neck with ardour, his hands buried in my hair. I moaned in displeasure as Rafe slowly started to pull out of my sopping folds, my body already missing his closeness to mine. 

He fell on the bed next to me, taking off his condom and gazed at my leaking mound. He was a ravaged man as he snaked his way back to my legs, licking our remnants of our sex clean. I caged his head with my thighs, not wanting Rafe’s unconditional loving on me to end. I was spent yet the pleasure was uncontrollable, the whimpers being endless. After slurping my clit clean, he crawled back to me and kissed me on the mouth. I felt my legs shaking again with the weight of his lips and the taste of our sex on me. 

After an unhurried session of our lips dancing with each other, Rafe delicately took the comforter and swaddled it on my body, his nose touched mine as he sweetly said, 

“Gimme a min, I’ll clean you up.” 

He got off the bed and ambled to the washroom, his nakedness colouring my cheeks and my body. In a few minutes, he came back with a wet towel and a box of tissues on his hands. Rafe’s lips twitched to a lazy smile as he looked at me bunching the blanket near my breasts and peach hued cheeks. 

“You getting shy on me baby, I just pounded into you and now you blushing”

Fuck, he’s smooth. I just giggled at his comment with more heat blooming on my cheeks and beckoned him towards me. Rafe crawled upto me, slowly peeling off the comforter off of me. My heart was blushing as he drabbled the wet towel over my mound, eyes focused on dabbing the cloth delicately over my cunt. He tucked on the sheets back again as he threw the cloth over the sofa near the bed.

Rafe lied next to me, his hands grabbing my waist, making me face his body. Within a minute, our hands were all over each other, our bodies just a mesh of limbs intricately tangled with each other. 

“I hope I didn’t hurt you, Sofia,”

“No…fuck…it was everything…you didnt hurt me at all…” I mumbled with a yawn. 

“Sleepy?”

“Yea, you wound me down so bad, Rafe”

“It’s ok, stay the night,” 

My eyebrows raised in astonishment, “You…want me to…stay the night? You sure you’re ok with that”

He laughed as he said, “What you thought that I’ll ditch you after we slept. No, of course…I am fine with you staying…I…want…you to stay the night. As long as you’re cool with it though…” Now it was him whose cheeks were tinged a rosy shade. 

“Ok, cool. I’ll stay with you”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He tightened his hold on me, his arms ensnaring my back like a vice while my head nestled into his chest. I can hear his heart beating, the constant rhythm lulling me to sleep. 

“I don’t know how pillowtalk works…” I muttered as I kissed his chest right where his heart was. 

“It’s ok, let’s just sleep…” he looked down at me and kissed my forehead. 

“Good night, Mr. Cameron.” 

“Good night, Ms. Ramirez”

We fucked once again on the counter when he followed me to get some water in the middle of the night. And when I fell asleep then, I knew in my heart that this was just the beginning of something earth shattering. 

I had spent one night with him and it didn’t feel enough. 

Oh, I am so fucked. 

AN:

How writing this chapter got me like:

Also what I will be doing after this

Sooo....I know...my smut is so mid and my writing style has become a joke...sometimes...i don't even know what words to write...anywayss I just wanted to gift you guys a mediocre yet heartfelt gift from me...honestly I don't even know if I'll even write smut again....I'll try my best thoo...the next chapters will be going relatively fast (not really cuz each of my chap is atleast 2k+ words so baree with me) but crucial parts of the book cuz they're going to cement their relationship. I'm telling you all...this is going to be a longg ride...also I'm trying to make time for my studies as well as this so I'll make an effort to update as soon as I can butt again this is tentative.

ANYWAYS HAPPY VALENTINES/GALENTINES DAY. HOPE YOU LOVED THE CHAP AND AS ALWAYS LIKES, REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED. It's so heartwarming when I see any kind of complement on my work. I write because I love this couple and also I wanna make sure that more people get into the fandom even if its thru my midass fanfic.

Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist

Ciao. Stay hydrated and resteddd.

Taglist:

@lostsyren @araybiaaa @cherubfille @didddii589 @popou61 @rafecameronsfavourite @rafesofiapalomo @me-ig1 @beautyinsteadofashes

[mint-ty]

Since the Lithuanian band Katarsis is new to me too, I made a summary of this interview that was filmed after LT semi-final. (youtube video)

They say they're very surprised about getting through the LT semi-final (when this interview was filmed) and it's amazing how many people have listened to their song.

Did they watch the semi-final on the tv? (the shows were prerecorded).

Alan: no, I was a bit scared and spent the day in bed watching random series, only turned on the TV for the final voting :D and when we passed I rewinded the whole show to watch from the beginning.

Why Eurovision?

Lukas: in the beginning it was just like a joke among us like "oh let's go to Eurovision!:D" but then after looking more into it, it seemed like a good experience and opportunity. Hardest was to convince Emilija and Alanas to sign for it.

Alanas: yeah I didn't want to participate for myself, I didn't think our music would be welcomed maybe on such a big scale, but the band is more important so I wanted to fight with my fear and do this for my friends:)

Lukas: there's a lot of skepticism around underground musicians for both Eurovision and TV in general. But after thinking about it longer we decided there's nothing we would lose by trying.

Have you ever played on Žalgiris Arena stage before? (currently the biggest stage in LT)

Alan: yeah once :D another warm-up band needed a back-up guitarist and asked me in. It was nice:D

Is there anything you want or plan to change for the LT Finals performance?

Lukas: maybe the whole entrance? we're not used to tv stages so just when to start a song is communicated well in my opinion. But for the song itself we try not to think too much and keep everything that is as now.

How hard is it to pretend to play the instruments on stage, since only the vocals are live?

Alanas: yeah it was hard, since it doesn't feel like you even need to be there on the stage. I really wanted to pretend like Kurt Cobain overly acting in that one TV show or something like that :D I think it's better to do it with less perfection, but to do it live.

Have you played the song before?

Lukas: no, it never has been finished to the very end. When we will play it now, it for sure will sound different from how it sounded before in our rehearsals. In live gigs we can adapt the songs much more to the audience and the feeling, but this song obviously will have to stay closer to the recorded version from now on, with back vocals phonogram and all.

What is the song about?

Lukas: I don't really know honestly, the song changed so many times and had so many meanings to me, that now it doesn't mean anything in particular. Maybe it's about relationships. It also can mean anything to the listener, however he understands the song.

So is it about a relationship with a particular person?

Lukas: no, it had many forms and now it's just a ball of a feeling in general, so it's really hard to say what it's about.

What about the part "tavo" in the end of the song? people even count how many times it was said and say it's too many times.

Lukas: the original song was even longer, over 4 minutes, so we actually concenced it. I used the sound of "tavo" as an additional which I think sounded cool :D

How did Katarsis start?

Lukas: first I was alone, just playing music as a teenager in my bedroom. My first recorded song from a phone is even still on soundcloud. Then I got invited to several gigs and saw that playing by myself was very difficult, and started looking for a band, and here we are eventually.

Where is the name "Katarsis" from?

Lukas: I really like movies and theater, and at the time I was in a sort of movie camp, and heard this word and really liked it. Now it also has a meaning of "letting out your feelings", which I think fits our music style well.

You say you are an alternative music underground band, but I wouldn't call you underground because you have another song Vasarą Galvoj Minoras that has 3mln on spotify and even got an award. How many gigs do you do? I heard people sweep your tickets?

Lukas: recently they don't sweep our tickets anymore, maybe that's why we went to Eurovision :D we had a period when everyone wanted to hear just that one song, now our gigs are smaller but people actually know our songs and want something new, so that is very lovely

Are you afraid Tavo Akys might be your most popular song now, that you'll have to play as the finishing one for many gigs to come?

Lukas: not really, no. Even Vasarą Galvoj Minoras we weren't playing in the end. Usually in the middle somewhere, and recently I don't think we played it at all.

Alanas: I don't really like that song so I'm happy we're not playing that :D I had told that to Lukas too :D I joined the band after it was already released.

How did the band come together? since each of you have also your individual music projects and other bands that you also play in, like Emilija has a duet band with her partner, you Alan are playing for another band and also have your individual EP, and etc.

Alanas: I was asked to join by our drummer Jokūbas, since we were coursemates in uni.

Lukas: and Jokūbas came to the band to replace the previous drummer before I even knew the old drummer wanted to leave :D he said to me one time we met in a fest "I heard you're looking for a drummer?" and I was "no?.." :D but I did call him later to join after all.

Questions from the listeners: Any bands that influence your music?

Lukas: honestly I try to listen less at the moment because I don't want to pick any influence. So I can't say if there was any influence before. Recentry I liked some wild noise electronic songs, and maybe Orillia(?) Shadow song from the 90s I think.

Any rituals before going on stage?

Both: nope

Alan: tune my guitar :D

Have you noticed more alternative music going to Eurovision stage? Would you like to see more bands like yours on Lithuanian stage?

Both: honestly we weren't following previous eurovisions that closely, maybe only the finals..

Lukas: yes of course. It always feels like eurovision songs are just a repeat of the same. I'd especially love to see more unique music, I think Lithuania has a lot to offer not only for our stage but for all Europe. Something like Molchat Doma has done by Belarussians, I think we can really find good music to uplift among ourselves too.

Do you expect to do gigs outside in other European countries?

Both: we weren't even expecting to pass the semi-final :D

Alanas: but yeah I'd love to try playing abroad. I had talked with fellow musicians and it sounds like an amazing experience.

What about lithuanian language in the songs?

Lukas: I love that it has been becoming more popular. I always enjoy hearing native language in foreign songs too, so I hope there will be more of that.

Who worked on the LED visuals on the screen?

Lukas: it was Ignas Blažys, a graphic designer, but he feels like a part of our band now since he helped so much with the visuals. We might change something a bit for later on the screen, I don't know yet, we'll see.

How about a choerography on the stage? are you planning anything?

Lukas: yeah we planned - walking around a bit :D we might need to think about that too, but for sure we don't want any hard choreography because it won't feel organic then and we want the song to feel natural.

The cameras should be catching me, not me catching the cameras.

Interviewer: not how eurovision works, but good luck :D

Are you scared a bit about going to Basel? Have you kept several free weeks in May just in case?

Alanas: I didn't.. :D maybe I should cancel my works just in case..

Lukas: to be honest we're not expecting to go to Basel, so we're not scared and we're trying to enjoy the experience. Maybe if we win, then we will be scared I think :D

Do you have some jobs outside of music that might be impacted by a trip to Basel?

Alanas: I teach guitar, so I might need to cancel few weeks of lessons :D

Lukas: I work as a video editor, mostly because I need a salary. Also I wanted to say thank you very much for everyone who believe in us and write lovely comments, they really go to my heart ♡

Do you write song lyrics by hand?

Lukas: no I write to notes on computer or on my phone. I'm that generation already.. :D I don't think I have a ballpen at home... :D

Just for curiosity, are you right or left-handed?

Lukas: I think we're all right-handed in the band.

If you meet Tommy Cash, what would you talk about? :D

Alanas: oh wow, I don't even know, I'm a bit intimidated I think.. :D he's an amazing artist and performer and I have huge respect for him, I don't know.. It's like when I was a child and saw Marilyn Manson, what would I even say? :D

Interviewer: I had a chance to be in the same party with Marilyn Manson two times - he is as creepy as he looks :D But with Tommy Cash I'm sure you'd find a common topic if you both meet, especially that his music is also considered alternative to some level.

How old are you?

Alanas: 23, Lukas: 22

Are you planning an English version of Tavo Akys?

Both: for sure no.

Have you got a katarsis feeling when you passed the semi-finals?

Lukas: maybe not katarsis, euphoria maybe? when we passed I was super happy for a bit and then I got worried what next, another 2 weeks of work. But then, before now I had half of year of free time and I wasn't feeling too well myself to be honest, so now with a full schedule of things to do I'm feeling much happier and fuller as a person.

Have you checked reactions from foreigners to your song? do you read comments?

Alanas: yeah I love reading comments :D some of them are very creative, I also screenshot and post some to our group chat :D

Lukas: youtube reactions are also funny, they really don't say anything, but yeah we've seen some.

Any potential collabs or wishes?

Lukas: we're actually planning a collab song with another band Velvet vocalist.

Any more plans? for albums or such for this year?

Lukas: we have some gigs planned for this summer, but with new releases we'll see, maybe.

Did you have a strategy for going to eurovision?

Lukas: I think the main strategy was just to try and see, get some experience, try for ourselves so we don't feel stuck.

Interviewer: Thank you everyone and good luck.

[whateven333]

FROM as a show is so special because it's one of those rare instances where the most disliked character that the fandom finds to be annoying for any and all reasons... is a white man. Instead of doing the usual thing where the most hated character is a woman who is over-hated for even the most minor misstep (with the underlying real reason being misogyny). And I just think that's so beautiful, so thank you Jim for being mildly but consistently irritating. The world is healing ❤️

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

[lulu2992]

Thank you, Tumblr, for rectifying my follower count last month and finally removing all those “ghost bots” from October 2019 ♥

The few of you whose names are hidden in the list aren’t included in the displayed number anymore either, unfortunately, but at least I know who you are and that you’re real :)