#[ but i also remember not having a lot of drafts on him so i'm just like... 'do i try being more active on him again??' ]

[discjude]

whatever afterlife exists in SGE must be the funniest shit ever imagine being some Jaunt Jolie peasant who gets a little too in the way of the Snake and dying only to see The Literal School Master cheering the Snake on. Imagine dying of like cholera or something and taking a little Ghost Vacation to Camelot and seeing the King of Camelot - who's dead, apparently - beating the shit out of some random other boy with weird eyes. imagine how flesh and blood went down. Do you think they all had popcorn for that

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[greyedian]

oh my god I was thinking about a jayvik fallout new vegas AU and was like "hm maybe Viktor uploads himself into one of those robots until he can get a different body by like repurposing power armor or something idk" and then I remembered that this guy's name actually is Victor

[iqxatlantic]

                                      " you too ! "

super short head canons of kaiser being a cheater wuh oh (and reader being a giiirlboss <3 but not rlly cus they end up fawking..) yes there's smut so users be aware!! oh, there's some bits of non-con/dub-con btw! oh oh and literally cue "you too" by chase atlantic.

cheater!kaiser who realizes he fucked up big time. "wait — [name]. süße! don't be like that. y'know she's jus' a friend" he tried to convince you.

cheater!kaiser who's getting his ass absolutely roasted right now. "I'm sorry that your father never loved you," you spewed out. literal VENOM. "And you saw your mother on the TV too much, oh. doesn't mean you can do this." you continued.

cheater!kaiser who realized you weren't playing around anymore. you were genuinely done with his shit. hell, he should've known he shouldn't have ended a conversation with "i love you" even though he knew it wasn't true (it ended up being true LOL)

cheater!kaiser who found himself on his knees begging you to stay and you couldn't leave him. "you're all i have!" he'd whimper out. "then go get more from that other bitch you're cheatin' on me with." you'd retort.

cheater!kaiser who's now trying to get physical in hopes to repair things. you couldn't push him off. so all you could do was run that venomous and hurtful mouth of yours that once slid out the sweetest things ever.

cheater!kaiser who'd shut you up by crashing his lips onto yours. he knew it was disgusting but, hey. it works. by the time he pulled away, you were less angry..? "ew, i don't wanna have your side hoe's taste lingering in my mouth." you spat out. god do you ever stop?

cheater!kaiser who has you pinned on the floor as he's pressed up against you the way his lips are pressed against yours. his tongue exploring your mouth like it was your first time together.

cheater!kaiser who has you out of breath, carries you to the bed for some cushioning. he continues his rampage on your sweet lips as his big hands are desperately trying to get your shirt off — in which he ends up ripping the shirt.

cheater!kaiser who just decides he'll buy you a new shirt later continues to cover your delicate skin with harsh markings. you pulled him by the rattails, "you must looooo-ove doing this with the other girls you're sleeping 'round with huh?" you snarled.

cheater!kaiser who shuts your pain-inflicting words n noises with a higher pitch loving tone. his big big fingers were teasing along your folds now.

cheater!kaiser who genuinely cannot get enough of you as you're whining, crying, whimpering, all the above on his fdick or fingers. thrust after thrust, your sweet noises filling the room. were they filled with anger? yea, probably. did he care? na. for your and his pleasure.

cheater!kaiser who can't remember why he cheated in the first place as it hit him like an arrow in the heart, you were just perfect. loving, a bitch as well LOL, puts him in his place... perfection. you were the absolute ideal of a partner in his head.

cheater!kaiser who whispers gently, "give me a second chance, liebe. i'll change" into your ear in which you let out a hefty "more than second now. you havent changed at all" guess he's still oughta fuck the anger out of you.

— ©iqxatlantic / isaisliterallyhim, 2025

a/n: omg hi bbys um ive been very freaking busy lately and i've been stacked with lots of drafts... i couldn't rlly get anything out so i was like 'i needa do something" and came up w this im so sorry.. it's like 2 a.m. pls let me slide w this one ughhh im still salty over getting broken up w so shhh... yes this was a somewhat reflection of what happened just minus the sex and stuff bc it wasnt even close... wiasdjsaj i'll get out more soon just trust me... i wanted to like do one for valentines but i couldnt get anything in my head so um i def slacked off also this is all yap YIKESSS but i heart kaiser sosos much omg this wasnt proofread btw also fyi when reader's calling the other woman a hoe, bitch, and other really nasty words its cus she knows that reader was w kaiser ^^

[chronicdelusionistsart]

Bernard Dowd and the Art of Recontextualization

I'm what you might call a "fake Batman fan" - that is, I've only watched most of the Batman animated series', all of the live action movies, most of the animated ones, played some of the video games... so, you know, probably thousands of hours of my life in Batman related media. But not the comics! Fake fan!

Frankly, I find the comics medium the way DC and Marvel do it to be really hard to follow. There's the fact that you can't really follow an individual solo character without them getting caught up in massive crossover events that ruin their arc and pacing, there's the soap-opera-iness that encourages cheap and revolving conflicts inherent to the longform monthly release schedule, the writer roulette, and there's also just that going back to try and thread a particular continuity or character is an exercise in frustration. Oh and the retcons. Everyone hates those. They've (basically) never been good. Don't remember this part it will never come up aga

But, you know, despite this - or maybe because of this - comics is a breeding ground for ideas. Because of the quick turnaround and the demand for novel conflicts, comics just churn out idea after idea. Good ideas, bad ideas, doesn't matter. Get it to print. Retcon it later if we write ourselves into a corner. Comics are often soooooo first draft coded. This is why I personally prefer adaptations - they often reimagine ideas and retcon them into new narratives where they can serve a more coherent plot. But what happens when a character is picked up for a second draft ... without actually contradicting the earlier material? While enriching the earlier material, even?

(SPOILERS for Tim Drake: Robin and uh... 20 year old comics under the cut!)

So, uh, quick disclaimer - because I have very little overall knowledge of DC's Comics continuity, there may be more interesting examples of times that what I'm going to point out was done. But I love Bernard and from a writer's POV I'm impressed with the way they did it so we're talking about Bernard lmao

The Beginning (Robin 1993) - Reading comics from the 2000s hurts in a way I can't describe

Okay so I heard Tim Drake is dating a guy now? (Penny Sonic voice) Whoa he's bisexual I didn't know that! I'm sure people on the internet are being very normal about this. Cool let's find out more about his new bf. I like starting from the beginning... so like yeah hold on while I crack open the Robin comic and take down what this guy's deal is.

😬

So basically the TL;DR of Bernard in his original appearances is that he seems to be an attempt to introduce some normal stakes teen drama into Tim's life. He has all the Funny Guy Friend Classics - he's got an inflated sense of his proficiency at pulling girls, he's inexplicably drawn towards the protagonist (who is cooler than him), he wants to date the most popular girl in school, and he wants to get down with older women!

This might just be me but while I was going through this I thought like, he almost reads a little uncanny, like he's been filtered through a Disney Teen Special. In practice he mostly serves to introduce Tim to the Real Plot, Darla Aquista, and be one of his ties to civilian life, which is, like, fine. He's ultimately just a background character and he's so unimportant that he only has one appearance after their school gets shot up(!!!), which is, again, to be more of an accessory to the Darla plot.

After this display of "wow this guy's kind of lowkey insane for offering to his resurrected bestie supervillainess to be her manager actually", he's dropped forever. Comics! We're not gonna unpack that.

The Sequel (Batman: Urban Legends) - We're Gonna Unpack That

Until almost two decades later when he calls Tim up for a date. And while I'm trying to skim over a lot to get to the point here and I don't really know the FULL context, it is notable that Tim is in the middle of an identity crisis / the cusp of adulthood when this happens (I think he just lost a spleen or something. That sucks dude). It's pretty implicit that part of the reason he's going to see Bernard is because he's someone familiar in a time when he's facing a lot of new and scary stuff.

And at first blush, he really does seem like the same dude. The familiar arm over the shoulder, the banter, it's all very casual and similar to the ribbing from high school -

- and I guess nothing has happened to Bernard in the interim haha he's just the funny friend guy right?

I really like the way they did this. I'm just unambiguously going to praise how good this is if you just came off the 2000s stuff. Comics have kind of breakneck pacing by nature but they really manage to condense down and then pull off a neat sleight of hand over the course of like four pages here. They re-establish Bernard as a silly guy and then wham you with the fact that yeah actually we ARE gonna unpack that. Fuck you Tim Drake life is ever changing and nothing stays the same

So the TL;DR on the rest of the Urban Legends storyline is that stuff like, HAPPENED to this guy while our focus was elsewhere. He learned martial arts, presumably so that he wouldn't be so helpless in the next school shooting level event, he got into a pain cult, he's just Not Doing Well. We find out, reading between the lines, that calling Tim on a date was probably one of his last attempts to reach out to someone when the cult stuff was getting really bad.

I've heard people complain that Bernard is uninteresting or not a character or entirely focused on his relationship with Tim, and I think that criticism is really weird considering that his entire re-debut focuses on the point that he's been having his own life and making his own (often wild) decisions - ones that really changed the course of his life - while Tim was gone. And it's also notable that this story is about how the fact that he's his own person and has changed and has made the nerve-wracking decision to take action and call Tim inspires Tim himself to take a leap and fling himself into the uncertain waters of young adulthood.

Me when I have my bi awakening and call to get out of a rut simultaneously because Cute Insane Guy Inspired Me. iconic

So that's how Bernard has changed. But that's not recontextualization, that's just the writers taking a guy and making him do another, cooler thing. Well hold the fuck on because we're not goddamn done.

What did he mean by th-

The Recontextualizerrrrr (Tim Drake: Robin) - Bernard is the funniest person in Gotham City. I'll not be taking constructive criticism on this

Tim Drake: Robin is the followup to the Urban Legends story and Tim is the main character fr. Obviously. but Bernard is also a major character. Later, he even gets to be a POV character. But they don't do that for several issues, instead treating us to his shenanigans from Tim's point of view as he solves a bizarre serial murder case and like, they're cute! And neither of them are normal in the slightest. I love that for them.

Again, TL;DR, there are a lot of interactions where Bernard talks to Tim both in and out of costume, but we don't get to see his POV until they go out to a restaurant and meet Bernard's parents there by accident and Tim has to run off to do Robin stuff. And like... a lot of stuff happens in this one bois. Whammy after whammy

We're suddenly introduced explicitly to a lot that was only implied or just completely unavailable before. Bernard's parents are ragingly homophobic. Probably were never great even before that. He suffers from depression. All that is a lot to. wait. hold on a second

he knows?????

HE KNOWS????

Okay so if you stop at this point and reread the entire run so far you find out that Bernard is in fact the biggest troll in the entire universe. This is the moment that cemented him as my favourite, by the way. Like I had a feeling that he knew and I was just laughing my ass off when my suspicions were confirmed.

But this is really interesting on top of that because Bernard has been revealed to be, at this point, a guy who you should look deeper than the surface to understand. Someone who masks his true self and whose true motivations you can only uncover if you're really looking past the facade. Even with Tim, he sort of offers Tim and Robin half the story each, taking advantage of Robin's "distance" to give out information he wants Tim to think about but that he's reluctant to talk about frankly while at the same time almost daring Tim to open up about his identity.

Absolutely most normal way to tell your bf about your cult trauma. You'll always be famous to me Bernard Dowd

This is a really neat trick by the writers. It makes Bernard a multifaceted character who got to quietly develop while we were mostly focused on Tim, and there's some clever clever foreshadowing they set up in this run to achieve this. If it were just this, I would call it good writing.

But it actually goes one level deeper than that and becomes something really really special. because as we all know, Bernard was not conceived to be this way, he was a one-off guy who was kind of annoying and he was essentially retconned to be, like. Gay? Have depth? Be funny? All of those things?

The Seamless Retcon (Robin 1993 Again) - We took your guy and we gave him gay subtext and it worked astoundingly well

This is not a new observation btw, I've seen a ton of posts to this effect. But oh my god. Some of these panels really hit different with the new Bernard lore. Like holy fuck just read this back to back

There are tons of moments like this. There's SO MUCH that the revelation that Bernard is queer adds to his initially extremely underwhelming tenure in the Robin comics. A reread almost begs the question of what Bernard must have been thinking at any given moment! BRO YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO FUCK HIS STEPMOM. That's completely believable as a next-level closeting move and goes from kind of annoying to turbofunny.

Like yeah of course he's acting like a douche. His father is a status-chasing asshole and he's five racks deep in the closet. Of course he gravitates towards Tim - his gaydar is pinging and he thinks Tim is cute. And it's also pinging that Tim is like. You know

None of this would hit as hard if the writers had not set up Bernard as someone who masks so much. They worked it in that character trait to mean that you could always glean information deeper than the surface from his top level interactions.

Because of this, Bernard is really fucking interesting and he's a good character and he's one that gets better on reread. Like I said, that's a set of observations that are not new to me. But something that really gets to me is how seamless and intentional it is. It really feels like the writer sat down and took their time devising a guy that is believable as that other guy, but only if you read back with certain context.

The conclusion - Comics. Man.

So is this just about how Bernard is really fucking interesting and he's a good character and he's one that gets better on reread and that he can exist independent of Tim and all the haters are wrong. Yeah of course. 💖

But also like, I have thoroughly proven to myself that I was kinda wrong to just reject the published comics medium out of hand. I see now that there's room for the writer's roulette to hit the jackpot and that something I mistook as an outright flaw, the winding and unfocused and often improvised nature of it, can be ridden like a wave if you're skilled enough to do it. Meghan Fitzmarten is a goddamned genius.

I guess I have to read comics now. Fuck

[kingsoowolves]

constant | s. es

pairing: Best friend!Eunseok x fem!reader

word count: 9.2k

author's note: This has been sitting in my drafts for a while because I desperately wanna give it a part two, but I don't have the timeeeeeeee :( so if you like this, pretty please tell me and put your foot on my butt so I write it :) Inspired by nothing else but my sick twisted mind full of angst. Hope you enjoy!

contents: Best friends turned to friends with benefits turned to (awkward) best friends again turned to ?????? Angst, semi smut (as in descriptions of first time having sex + heavy make out session with grindind and feeling each other up), and more angst because I'm crazy. Eunseok has a girlfriend on the latter part of this, so there's cheating involved (trigger warning). Reader's father dies when she's very young (more trigger warning). Other riize members + random idols mentioned for worldbuilding. No happy ending (for now).

you can also read this work on my ao3, if you'd like

For as long as you can remember, Song Eunseok has been a constant in your life.

Some of your oldest memories are from when you were around six and, by then, you already spent most of your afternoons on playdates with the boy next door and his mom.

Your mother recounts the day you’ve met when you were both five-year-olds with elaborate detail. After your dad’s sudden death scarred your lives, you moved into a far place where nobody knew you. The day you settled in your new house, your mom took you for a stroll around the neighborhood to get to know the area and you ended up in a playground packed with kids from all ages. 

According to her, you were the one who approached Eunseok. He was a shy boy playing by himself on the sand box with his toy rocket ship when you came over, hair in pigtails with pink ribbons and a gap between your teeth from losing your first baby tooth only a week prior, your face eclipsing the sunlight that hit his forehead. Your mom says that when he looked up, anyone could tell he had just found something brighter than the sun to beam over him.

Or at least that’s what she likes to say to get you both flustered now that you’re young adults.

Nevertheless, since that day you’ve been attached at the hip and it was clear that your bright outspoken personality complemented his quiet observant one. Although the contrast sometimes was a bit too much for people. Sunshine extroverted girl running around with brooding introverted boy? It made no sense for them. When you started getting older and others’ comments and side-eyes got progressively worse, you showed everyone how you could be the cross one if they pushed too far. You spent a lot of time kicking shins and pulling heads full of hair from the boys that bullied Eunseok and the girls who talked bad behind his back just because he was timid. You also talked back to any adult who dared to make a nasty comment about your friendship. By the time you reached middle school, everyone in your little town knew not to mess with you or your friend.

Finally, you were free to play and be with Eunseok to your heart’s content, without having to worry about snide remarks that could upset him. Now you could enjoy your time with your best friend from the whole wide world and not care what people think, because for once they were not announcing it to you. It made the connection between you two much stronger.

You constantly reminisce of days spent with him, learning everything there was to know about each other.

The first thing you learnt about Eunseok was how much he likes the universe. He told you everything about it — how old it is, what it is made of, what humanity knows and does not know about it. He told you scientific discoveries and theories, recited every galaxy, planet, meteorite he could remember the name of and filled your days with interesting facts and anecdotes about his passion. Every word out of his mouth would make you gawk, both because of how amazing it all sounded and because you couldn’t believe he was able to gather that much information at such a young age.

When you’d talk about your future selves, you always wished to become something plain and silly as any girl would say, like an actress or an idol, but Eunseok dreamed of greater professions. He wanted to be an astronaut, an aerospace engineer, an astrophysicist, a project manager. Sometimes you’d feel small and pathetic from how big his dreams were compared to yours. But it was your own mind’s fault, never Eunseok’s. He never viewed you as any less than him just because you had differing interests and specially never made you feel stupid for being a girl.

Eunseok took interest in your hobbies. He let you play dress up with him, loving the cute Sanrio hair pins you put on his head and complimenting you on your make up skills once you were done and he looked at himself in the mirror. He listened to you talk for hours about your favorite artists and retell him the plot of the latest drama you were watching with your mom. He became a fan of anime because of you and you started binge-watching a bunch together. He listened to your music and even made you a personal playlist of your favorite artists one day. And he was also the one who accompanied you to their concerts, buying you merch and sticking by your side, laughing whilst you screamed your lungs out for the people on stage.

Getting to know Eunseok and spending time with him was the best part of your days and when people finally stopped disturbing you about your friendship, you had more time to spend with each other. Though you were so relieved about it that you didn’t prepare yourself for the next big change — high school. 

Puberty and hormones are a funny thing. One day your best friend is the rejected loner nerd everybody seems to look down on. The next day he’s the cute sexy boy-with-thick-framed-glasses that everyone is looking at.

You and Eunseok were never ready for the kind of attention he started to receive in your second year of high school. His once perpetually empty desk nook was now filled to the brim with chocolates on Valentine’s Day and notes with declaration of love. Girls suffered when they didn’t get a gift back from him on White Day and suddenly, without your consent, everybody appointed you as Eunseok’s personal messenger, handing over confessions' letters for him during lectures or even dropping them inside your locker or backpack when you weren’t looking. You hand delivered every single one of them to him, complaining about it the whole time, just to watch him read the contents of each letter and then rip them apart, throwing them in the nearest trash can. Whenever you stared at the shreds of paper inside the bin for a second too long, Eunseok grabbed your wrist and pulled you along to walk out the school's hallways with him.

You were always wondering if he liked the attention or not, but you never asked him about it and you’re sure he would never admit it even if that was the case.

Another thing that you wondered about was what the fuck all the girls abruptly started seeing in him. Up until then, you were the only one who knew how special Eunseok was. But that was because you saw something in him on that first day at the playground nobody else did and you spent years actually growing together with him. You knew Eunseok was a kind soul, a helpful friend and an overall amazing guy, but that was because he let you in.

The girls who were flocking behind him didn’t know that he preferred a mango Melona over a watermelon one. Or that he always double knotted his shoelaces and insisted on you doing the same every time you tripped over your shoes. Or that whenever you came back home together, he waited for you to get inside your house and lock the door before going to his home right beside it. They didn’t know he used to help your mom whenever your car had a mechanical problem or that he tasted every single one of your failed baking recipes, no matter how bad they were. They didn’t know he cooked whole meals with his mother and took care of their garden with his father. Or that whenever your mother took the night shift at the hospital, he made you a lunchbox for dinner and for breakfast. They didn’t know he always grabbed you a strawberry milk at the school’s canteen when they were close to running out. Or that when your first boyfriend broke up with you barely two weeks after you started dating, he comforted and hugged you for hours while you cried in his arms. Or that when you told him you didn’t know if the few memories you have of your father were real or just fabricated from old pictures, videos and stories your mother tells you, he comforted you by saying that your heart remembers him and that was what mattered. 

They didn’t know he loved dad jokes and would hit you with them at least three times a day, making you roll your eyes and laugh with every new one out of his mouth. They didn’t know his gruff voice turned soft and airy when he sang and that, on starry nights, he laid by your side on your backyard lawn and talked about all the constellations in the night sky over your heads. They didn’t even know how athletic he actually was and about how you both went to Sungchan’s house every Wednesday after class where Eunseok proceeded to kick Sungchan’s ass at basketball while you watched and sipped on your bubble tea.

You knew Eunseok, those girls didn’t.

They only saw a hint of a stubble on his jaw and his shoulders getting broader one day and decided he was finally worth the attention when you knew of this fact since day one.

And the possibility that any of those desperate tramps could ever get to know him like you did made your stomach churn. Eunseok’s response to them just bugged you further. He never responded to any advances, but never outright rejected them either. He seemed apathetic about it, and maybe that should’ve told you something, but you couldn’t figure it out now and much less when you were sixteen.

Fortunately, after a while, those girls stopped humiliating themselves looking for the attention he never gave them and things more or less went back to normal, with them labeling him as a pretentious loser and going back to their stupid lives. And you had him all to yourself again.

The next time your relationship with Eunseok changed only happened in the winter break before your last year of school and it was provoked by you. You still don’t know why you did what you did. Maybe it was the hormones. Maybe it was the small list of guys that had already broken your heart by then. Maybe it was just the fear of going to college as a still inexperienced and never desired eighteen-year-old. Maybe it was because you were afraid of the near future, of a life without Eunseok coming just around the corner.

You knew that once you finished high school, he would probably study in Seoul or maybe even go abroad. The life in your little town would never be enough for him. He was too intelligent and dedicated to his studies to not aim high. And you would just stay behind, because you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving your mom alone in the world and because you were never a good student anyway. The thing with being extroverted is that it can land you many contacts, but they won’t mean a thing if you don’t have the qualifications to back them up. Either way, you were stuck there. Eunseok would fly and you would just watch and cheer for him from afar. So you needed something to hold on to, something to completely mark the memories you had together forever.

All you remember is that you were huddled together inside his room, on your weekly movie night, watching an anime Eunseok loved for the thousandth time and you got distracted by his eyelashes, how they softly pressed the skin under his waterline anytime he blinked, how the blue glow from the TV made they seem a tone lighter and smooth to the touch, and how desperately you needed to feel them with your fingertips. Next, you stared at his eyebrows, thick and designed and really pretty. Really really pretty. Like all of him. Then, while he was laughing about something in the movie, you raised your hand as if to mindlessly touch his brows because it was like they were calling to you, but Eunseok caught your wrist mid-movement, pulling back before you could graze his skin.

He gasped and looked at you with wide eyes and you asked him the most ridiculous question that ever came out of your mouth.

“Seok, will you be my first?” You said.

He didn’t ask what you meant, because he knew exactly what you were talking about. He didn’t ask if you were serious, because he knew you were. He didn’t ask if you were sure, because he also knew you were. Because he knew you. One look at your face and he could see the sincerity dripping from your whole being.

“Yes,” he replied a half second later. And then he pulled you in for a kiss.

You would like to say that you kept your calm through all of it, that you didn’t feel shaken or nauseated with nerves and that you did everything exactly like the magazines guided, like your friends talked about when telling their experiences, like the spicy videos you watched late at night showed, like the romantic movies made it seem. You’d like to say that you kissed Eunseok with certainty, that you took off your clothes sensually and that you grabbed his cock the right way.

But Eunseok’s bedroom would beg to differ. The laptop on his study desk saw how your lips faltered over his skin and overheard your frenzied mind wondering if you were doing everything right. His calendar snickered at you while your t-shirt got stuck on your earring on its way off your body and how you fumbled to free the fabric and almost ripped your ear off. The posters on his walls watched your trembling fingers struggling with the buckle on his belt for thirty seconds until Eunseok took pity on you and unfastened it himself. The clock beside his TV looked at your expectant eyes when he deposited kisses on the valley between your breasts and continued going down, down, down. When his fingers inside you were unexpectedly precise in driving you to your first peak and you asked him if he had done that before, the lamp on his nightstand listened to the sound of your disappointed gasp after he said “Yes”. His sheets felt the nervous tugs of your hand whilst you pumped Eunseok’s dick in an unsteady rhythm and at an awkward angle with your other hand. His bed frame picked up on your hoarse moans once he finally slid into you, sounds that only grew louder and raspier with each drive of his hips forward. His mattress could testify to how slick you got in between your legs and about the mess you left behind. His books eavesdropped on you promising to each other in between whimpers that it was only a one time thing, never to happen again, and that it wouldn’t change your friendship. And once your joint orgasm took over you both, the stars stickers on his ceiling shined bright right at your wrecked and fucked out face.

After, when your head was laying on Eunseok’s chest and he started to snore, you reached out and touched his eyebrows and lashes, brushing against them one by one while an indescribable feeling took over you.

You’d also like to say that you kept your promise or that at least you tried to keep it, but two days later you both found ourselves in the same compromising position — naked and on his bed. By the start of the school year, you were meeting up almost everyday and fucking at least for three days out of the week.

Being with Eunseok like that showed you a whole new side of him. Of course he still took care of you in every way possible, but he stopped being so nice and gentle all the time. There was no space for tenderness when he was too busy fucking you from behind, tweaking your peaked nipples, thrusting his cock into your mouth until you gagged on it, collecting your drool to use as lubricant, curling his fingers deep inside you, telling you how much he loved your cunt and begging you to cum for him. But you preferred it this way. You could take his rough fucking.

What you couldn’t handle were the soft moments in between, when he brushed your sweaty hair back and gazed deeply into your eyes, and when he asked in his softest voice if you were feeling good — if he was the reason you felt so good —, and when he told you how much he liked you and how perfect you were for him, and when he admitted he thought about you two like that for so long, and when he murmured sweet words to you like a prayer, and when he caressed your skin as if you were a goddess and he was your faithful servant.

What you really couldn’t handle was Eunseok’s confession three months later. The look on his face when you replied to his "I love you" with “You deserve someone better than me” will haunt you forever. You had never seen him put on his clothes and storm out of your room so fast before.

After that night, you didn’t hook up again and things turned awkward. But Eunseok was still a kind soul, a helpful friend and an overall amazing guy. All he gave you was three weeks of complete radio silence — no texts, no calls, no extracurricular meetings, not even a glance your way during classes. You even stopped going to and coming back from school together. And then on one sunny Tuesday, when you were on your way home in the afternoon, he trailed behind you and eventually your footsteps fell side by side. Eunseok didn’t say a thing whilst your sneakers pressed against the pavement at the same rhythm. You also didn’t dare to speak a single word, afraid any sound would scare him away.

Once you pulled up in front of your neighboring houses he picked some papers from inside his backpack and handed them to you.

“I took a copy of my notes from Calculus III. For that exam on Friday,” he explained.

You grabbed the sheets of paper and looked at his carefully crafted handwriting photocopied on them, how it was gentle and soft like almost everything he did. You looked up at him and asked, “Why are you giving me this?

He shrugged. “Thought you might need it.”

“Does this mean we are friends again?” You asked, your voice hopeful and unsure.

“You’ll always be my best friend, Y/N,” he said and his words carried a sorrow that pained your heart deeply.

Then he turned, climbed the three steps of his front porch and entered his house. He didn’t wait for you to get inside your home and lock the door like he used to. He just left you there. You felt relieved that he put himself over you at least once. Even if it was also his way of forgiving you.

It took a while for you to feel comfortable with each other again. And even still, it wasn’t the same as before. You had to find a new normal.

The new normal came with not having Eunseok doing so many nice things to you. He didn’t let you get the last pizza slice anymore or save you a seat on school’s assemblies you always got late to. Your once duo movie nights turned into something you’d do with a group of friends, at least one other person to ease the obvious tension still lingering in between you. And that’s when group gatherings, either going out with friends or meeting at someone’s house, became even more common. Because being alone with him in an enclosed space was definitely off limits. You needed to fill all the space in between you with people and things so there wouldn't be any left for thoughts and feelings.

The new normal also included saying goodbye to Eunseok at the end of the year. He ended up enrolled at Pusan National University’s science program and you stayed at your town studying tourism in a local uni. His college was still close to your town, it was only one hour and ten minutes drive from your house to his dorm, maybe one and a half if there was traffic. And he came home every other weekend, where you’d often meet and be your childhood selves together again. Still, not having him part of your everyday life hurt you more than you thought it would.

Then, two months after your second year at college started, he showed up at your house late on a Friday night, all merry and giddy. You immediately knew something was up.

“I have to tell you something,” he said under the light of your entryway while he took off his shoes.

“What is it?” You asked, taking a step back to prepare yourself for the news.

“I have a girlfriend,” he whispered, breaking your heart in a million pieces.

Her name is Sian and she is everything you aren’t — lovable, smart, caring, and with the same interests as Eunseok.

When he brought her home one weekend, she was warm and kind. She talked to you as if you were a close friend and apparently did not care a bit that you, another woman, are Eunseok’s best friend. Also, she makes Eunseok grin like no one else does and you’re grateful for that, because his smiles are hard to come by ever since that night you told him he deserves someone better. Turns out he did find someone better. And you can’t even hate her because she is a truly good person. But you do envy her.

That’s what you’re doing right now, envying Sian. It’s movie night and Eunseok is at your room, the both of you together and alone again after so many years, courtesy of Sungchan, Chaeryeong and Wonbin blowing you off to warm themselves up at a winter break party rather than hide at home under the blankets. It feels both awkward and familiar to be here with him, mostly because Eunseok is supposed to be watching the movie with you. You are supposed to be watching the movie, too, but you’re stuck observing him from the corner of your eye for fifteen minutes while he smiles and types away at his phone, texting his girlfriend. Said girlfriend who is currently traveling around France with her parents and bombing Eunseok’s phone with photos of her smiling prettily under the Eiffel Tower, in front of the Louvre, at Champs-Élysées. You don’t know why she takes so many photos. You don’t know why Eunseok has to react to every single one of them with a heart emoji and tell her how beautiful she looks. But you suppose that when you're pretty and rich and go to expensive places and have a caring boyfriend, that’s what happens. Not that you’d know any of that.

The thing is, envying Sian is not new to you. You’ve become used to it. It's quite easy to do it, actually. Because she has everything whilst you have nothing. She has money, beauty, intelligence and love. She has loyal friends and good people by her side. She has a balanced family and absolutely no childhood trauma from what you can tell. She definitely has some procedures on her face and her teeth are so perfect and bright it hurts your eyes. And she has an alive father, one that would for sure make a lovely father-in-law for Eunseok one day. Because she also has Eunseok.

And you like Sian. You really like her. But you can’t stand another minute of Eunseok not paying attention to anything that isn’t her – not paying attention to you.

“Seok, you’re not watching the movie,” you finally say after putting up with his constant texting for the last fifteen minutes.

He looks at you for a beat and puts his phone face down over his stomach, eyes shifting back to the laptop screen glowing in front of you both. “Sorry.”

He stays like that for a while, but then his phone vibrates and its screen glows and he picks it up again, spending another few minutes typing.

You shift uncomfortably on the far corner of your bed, the space between you and Eunseok as wide as the emotional distance you both created. “Eunseok, come on,” you whine, turning to him. “Are you for real right now?”

He doesn’t even glance your way this time, choosing to remain focused on whatever message he’s writing. “Sorry, I’m just texting Sian,” he says, as if you don’t know it already.

You sigh. “I know, but can’t you do it another time?”

“No. We haven’t been able to talk for a few days because of the time zones’ difference. And right now we’re both free and awake,” he explains.

His answer shoots an arrow straight through your chest. “Except you’re not free,” you remind him, your voice getting a tone higher. “You’re busy watching a movie with me!”

“Well, I need a couple minutes to talk with my girlfriend!” He counters.

“It’s been a couple minutes, alright? It’s been a few minutes, actually!”

“Y/N, I really don’t get what the problem is,” he says, finally looking at you again, seeming exasperated.

“The problem is you’re not watching the freaking movie!” You exclaim, feeling annoyed yourself.

He has the audacity to roll his eyes at you and turn back to his phone. “We watched this movie a billion times already.”

“It’s our favorite movie!” You say through gritted teeth, feeling offended.

“And we watched it a billion times before,” he repeats with a condescending tone, like he’s talking to a dumb kid. “My point still stands.”

“Well, if that’s how it’s gonna be,” you start, shutting the laptop down. You crawl down the bed and carry it with you before flicking your light back on, beyond yourself with anger. “Then movie night is over!” You finish, reaching for your study desk and putting your laptop on it with a little too much force.

Eunseok rubs at his eyes for a moment, the sudden clarity obviously affecting his vision as much as it’s affecting yours, but you’re too busy being mad to care for it. 

Once he’s done adjusting his eyes, he comes back to the argument. “Oh God, it’s just a movie. You are so dramatic!”

His words only hurt you more. “If I’m so dramatic, why don’t you go back to your home and never look at me again since that’s what you prefer anyway?”

Eunseok stares at you for a second, then blinks. “What?”

“I said if I’m so dramatic—”

“No, no, no,” he interrupts you, flinging himself from the bed and tossing his phone at your nightstand in a single move. “I heard what you said, but what the fuck do you mean about it?”

You cross your arms, still defensive and livid. “Oh, come on, Eunseok! You don’t talk with me anymore. I know nothing about your life except for when you’re speaking about Sian. And that is all you talk about — Sian, Sian, Sian, all the fucking time. You never make time for us. And when by a chance we do have the opportunity to spend some time together, again you’re talking with her? You don’t pay attention to me and you don’t fucking care anymore! So if you don’t want my friendship, just say it and go away! We can be done and over with it!”

“Where did you get the idea that I don’t care about you? If I didn’t care, why would I be here?” He says, tips of his ears and apple of his cheeks getting red.

“But you’re not here!” You yell, moving a little towards him and slamming your hand on your dresser. A few of your personal items on it shake and fall. “You haven’t been here for a while now. You’re not present in this friendship anymore. We don’t talk, we don’t go out, we don’t stay in together. We never do anything just the two of us. We’re never alone and never together, not truly. And even when we’re with other people, your mind is also elsewhere all the time. Everything just feels empty and superficial between us.”

Eunseok’s face gets redder with each word you utter and when you’re finished he spats at you, “And whose fault is that, Y/N? Who the fuck ruined everything between us?”

“Oh, so now you’re ready to talk about it?” You question, taking a step in his direction and crossing your arms. “Not gonna act like a coward and pretend nothing happened like usual?”

He also starts to walk towards you. “I’m a coward? You’re the one who walked away from us because you were too afraid of taking a chance!”

“And I regret it everyday!” You exclaim. “I get that I hurt you, Eunseok. I get that, okay? But also, I just miss us!” Your throat tightens and your voice starts to get shaky and heavy, all thanks to your upcoming tears. “I miss you! I miss you so freaking bad!”

It’s then that you start to cry, overcome with guilt and remorse, tears flowing from your eyes and cascading on your flushed face.

Eunseok’s temper tones down at your reaction and he takes a step back to assess your state. When the tears don’t stop after a few seconds, he looks at you with sorrow in his eyes. “Y/N,” he says, voice soft and understanding.

You press the heels of your hands into your eyes and turn away at him, hiding from the pity in his gaze by leaning your head against the wall. Your arm accidentally bumps against the light switch when you do it and the room darkens around you.

It’s quiet for a while. Just the sound of your sobs and hiccups and Eunseok’s ragged breath near the bed. You can hear that he’s trying to calm himself down, taking deep breaths in and out. Then you hear the noise of his sock-covered foot sliding across your floor, informing you he’s taking a hesitant step toward you. After that one, comes a new step. And another. And one more. And after a couple more, you feel his presence a hair’s breadth away from you. It’s warm and inviting and it takes everything in you not to lean back against it.

But you don’t have to, because a moment later he’s closing the distance. His arms cross over the front of your stomach, his chest meets your back and his chin rests on the crown of your head. He’s enveloping you in a hug from behind, over and under you. His scent invades your nostrils – clean softener, cedar wood and a touch of the citrus hand cream you gave him weeks prior. It feels suffocating in the best way possible. You don’t want him to ever let you go.

“Oh, Y/N,” he sighs. “I had no idea you felt like that.” He tightens his arms around you and continues. “I miss you, too. I miss you so much.”

“I didn’t know,” you stutter. “You never told me.”

“Yeah, I guess we’re both losers with a communication problem, right?” He says with a chuckle, his chest trembling against your back. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you sob, shaking your head. “Seok, I’m so sorry. For so many things.”

“Yeah?” He asks, pulling some hair away from the side of your face and snuggling his head on your shoulder. “Can you look at me and say that to my face, though?”

“Seok,” you whine, feeling guilty and vulnerable.

“Please?” He asks in a melodic voice. You can feel his breath right at your pulse and it takes everything in you not to ask him to kiss you. “I need to see your face to know that you really mean it.”

You sigh deeply, still ashamed, but does as he says. You do it slowly though. First you back away from the wall and pull your hands from your eyes, blinking at the shift from a complete blackout to the darkness of your room, still illuminated by the soft light of the hallway infiltrating from your half open door. Then you hastily clean a few tears from your face and brush your hair down, flicking it over your shoulders and trying to look like less of a hot mess. Only then you turn around to Eunseok and he lets his hands drift from the front of your stomach to your waist, still holding you close.

Your eyes dance over his form. Looking at his arms, his chest, his stomach, his shoulders. Everywhere but his face. He just waits while you gather courage, seconds passing through you.

Once you feel ready, you take another deep breath and look up, finally meeting his brown eyes again. They don’t have that anger that was present there a few minutes ago. The grudge they carried for you for years is also not there anymore. It makes you feel like crying again.

“Seok, I’m so sorry,” you hiccup, growing agitated again, new tears welling up your eyes. “I’m so sorry for so many things. For hurting you and for not talking about it and for not apologizing earlier and for not saying how—”

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay, pretty girl,” he coos, hands cradling your face to wipe at your tear streaked skin. “I know. I believe you, okay? I really do.”

“I was so dumb, I’m still so dumb. I never told you—”

“Hey, no, don’t talk about my best friend like that, please,” he says, pulling you in so the side of your face is pressed against his chest.

You slide your hands under his arms and around his back, wrapping your arms around him to pull him back against you, his heartbeat echoing in your ear. “I’m still your best friend?” You ask, voice small and quivering.

He snickers and you feel his nose touching the crown of your head. His chest expands behind your cheek when he takes a whiff of your hair. “Haven’t I told you that already?” He says, each word making his lips move against your scalp. “You’ll always be my best friend, Y/N. Nothing can change that.”

You continue crying, dampening his t-shirt with your tears. “I was so afraid we’d never talk again.”

“I know, sweetheart, but you don’t have to be afraid anymore. I’m here with you now, right?”

“Are you? For real?” You ask, pushing off his chest to glance up at him.

Eunseok’s gaze melts at your insecurity and he lifts a hand to massage behind your head. “I am. For real.”

“You don’t hate me, then?” You ask, just to be sure.

“I could never hate you, Y/N. Where did you get that idea?”

You shrug and look down, biting on your lower lip. “I don’t know.”

But you do know. You thought he hated you because of what you did. And he’d had every right to if that was the case. You’re lucky he’s always been a kind soul, a helpful friend and an overall amazing guy.

He bends a little to catch your gaze, his thumb grazing your chin. “I’m here and I don’t hate you. I’ll be present again in this friendship from now on. Can you also do that?”

You nod quickly. “Yes, I can.”

“Great. Then we’re settled,” he says.

You smile and Eunseok smiles back at you. Then he rests his forehead on yours, sweeping back some strands of your hair and tucking them in behind your ear. You close your eyes and bask in his presence, at the certainty he's here with you now. You still have a lot to talk about, but you can do it calmly and over time. Right now what matters is that you found a middle ground. Everything else can wait a little bit longer.

You stay like that for a while, hugging tightly, feeling each other, growing confident the other won’t slip away. Until something shifts. Eunseok’s hands slide from the back of your head to your neck, his thumbs brushing on your skin. You know it’s an innocent act, that he’s just shifting his position a little. But you can’t contain the involuntary shiver that runs through your spine. You visibly shake in his embrace, opening your eyes with a gasp to find him already gazing deeply at you, his eyes darker than the last time you looked at him.

You flinch back and squeeze your eyes shut. “Sorry, I—”

“Don’t say sorry,” Eunseok commands, his voice lower than you've ever heard before. He rubs his thumbs down your clavicle and your body trembles again. “Don’t you ever say sorry about that.”

You take a shaky breath, the tension filling your nerves, and open your eyes again. He’s still looking at you and his fingers press against your nape to pull your face closer to his, his nose brushing against yours.

“Seok,” you whisper, not knowing if you’re giving him a warning or begging for something more.

He makes an appreciative sound behind his throat and presses his mouth on your skin timidly, his touch barely there. “I missed you saying my name like that so much,” he says, running his lips on your cheek. “It always sounds so airy, like just saying it gets you hot and bothered.”

You gulp down, processing his words. Eunseok just crossed a line saying that to you. And if you reply to him with what you have in mind, you’ll cross another. Then you’ll be playing a dangerous game, toying with the limits of your just recovered friendship and with the relationship he’s in. You’ve been here before and it did not go well for either of you. Chances are it won’t have a better outcome this time.

But it just feels so good… Would it really be so bad to cross just another teeny tiny line?

“You always get me hot and bothered,” you admit, feeling your chest constrict with guilt and desire.

Deep down you know this is wrong, you know Eunseok knows this is wrong. He has a girlfriend. He was talking to her barely ten minutes ago. Your friendship was just secured a few moments ago. You can’t do this. Whatever this is, you can’t go through with it. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be safe. It wouldn’t be wise.

The tension stretches whilst Eunseok doesn’t respond to you immediately. He remains silent for a beat, and then another one, and you’re about to retract your words, when he chuckles, blowing air on your face.

“I know, baby,” he says, the pet name and the way he says it going straight to your core.  You decide to throw all caution out the window. You can’t go back now. Not anymore. To be honest, you could never deny him again.

He slides a hand down your body, his fingers brushing your clavicle and shoulder, then going to your back to skim over your spine. It trails lower until it squeezes your waist and pulls you more into him, making your bodies impossibly closer. “I felt that shiver, too, you know? I always feel so good when I’m close to you. It’s a big problem.”

You let him feel you up, fisting the front of his t-shirt on your hands while you try to remain calm. You’re frozen in place and completely at his mercy. You’ll give him everything he wants from you. You’re his for the taking. You always were.

His mouth brushes against the corner of your lips and you tilt your head up to preen closer to the touch, trying to draw out the feeling of his lips so close to yours for as long as possible.

Eunseok presses a kiss there and his hand glides under your top to feel the warm skin of your lower back. “When I was younger, I always had a boner whenever you so much as looked my way. I jerked off so many times thinking about you,” he reveals, careful eyes watching your reaction to his words. “I still do.”

You choke at the last piece of information, mind reeling with it. He used to touch himself to the thought of you. He still does it now. You wonder how he looks while he does it — how he sounds, how much precum he lets gather at the tip of his cock before touching it, how fast he cums. Almost all air leaves your lungs whilst you think about it.

“Really?” You ask, voice faltering. “Even after everything?”

He nods. “Even after everything. Even now. I can’t get you out of my head.” His fingers start to draw figure eights on your back. “I had to occupy myself with so many things to forget you. I tried so hard, but it was no use.”

Your heartbeat is wild and you’re trembling constantly now. But Eunseok doesn’t seem to care. He just pulls you closer and touches you more, making it impossible for you to stop shivering.

“Me too,” you confess, hands sliding up to the collar of his shirt, gripping it tightly. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t get over you. Over us. I still think about it all the time.”

“Yeah? What do you think about, baby?” He asks, putting his face in the crook between your neck and shoulder.

Your desire gathers between your legs and pools on your underwear so much it starts to feel uncomfortable. You need to take it off of you. You need him to take it off of you. You need him.

“I think about when we used to have fun together,” you say, wrapping your arms over his back.

“Oh,” he utters, descending both of his hands to fit them on your back pockets, squeezing your ass and flattening you against him, his hard-on nestled inside his jeans pressing against your pants’ crotch. It feels amazing. “You think about something like this?”

“Yeah,” you whimper, shifting your hips up to feel more of him. “When I touch myself, I always think about that.”

He releases a breath and drops a kiss on your neck, squeezing you more against him. “What more do you think about?”

“Your pretty cock,” you whisper, running a hand through his hair. “I think about how I used to suck it off and bounce on it. I miss it so much.”

“Oh shit, Y/N,” he groans, pelvis pulling back just to push forwards again, creating delicious friction between you. You feel dizzy with desire and you can only hope he feels the same way.

“Thinking about you always gets me so wet. I’m dripping by the time I’m finished,” you mutter, then you move your lips to his ear, preparing yourself to deal your final blow. “I’m so fucking wet for you right now, Seok.”

It’s Eunseok that shivers this time.

“Fuck, I wanna see that,” he says, a hand snaking in between your legs, cupping your sex over your pants. “I wanna feel it. Can I, baby?”

“Please,” you beg, pulling his face down by his collar until his forehead is pressed against yours again. “I need you so bad. You have no idea.”

“You got me, baby,” he whispers. “You got me.” And then he’s diving in to kiss you.

Eunseok kisses you like he’s claiming you and you kiss him back like you can’t bear spending another moment without his lips touching yours. It’s messy and sloppy, your mouths and tongues trying to suck and lick anything you’re able to reach, your teeth clenching together and biting sensitive skin. Each time one of you pulls back, the other moves forward again to connect your lips.

Kissing like this shows you just how much you wasted time not doing what you wanted. You could’ve been doing this for ages, you could be experienced professionals about how to make each other feel good. You could’ve been loving each other this close and this deeply instead of avoiding your feelings. God, you were so stupid for the longest time.

You’re completely out of breath once Eunseok’s lips slip down to kiss your neck, making you moan and shiver. Then he’s pushing you up until you land on the top of the dresser and you’re glad you have something to support yourself because your legs were about to give out at any moment.

He puts his body in between your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the dresser until he can roll his hips against yours again. You moan in unison and his hands squeeze your thighs whilst he resumes attacking your neck with his mouth.

“I thought about this so much,” you say, grinding on him. “Wishing we could do this all the time.” You pull on his hair until he’s looking at you again. “I always wanted you, Eunseok. Always.”

“I did, too,” he replies, hands slipping under your top to feel your bare skin, thumbs pressing on your sides.

You slide a hand down his stomach to find his belt, pulling on the buckle to unfasten it. Once you’re done, you pull it from his jeans quickly and throw it on the floor. “That’s not the only thing. What I’m trying to say is—”

The air is pulled from your lungs when Eunseok picks you up again and tosses you on your bed, crawling right up to your body until he’s hovering above you. The manhandling gets you light-headed and his hands coming up to cup your breasts empties your brain completely. 

You can’t remember what you were saying. Your focus just zeros in on the way he’s ravishing you.

“Y/N,” he whispers while kissing your jaw.

“Yes?” You say, still dazed.

He moves his hand down to the button of your jeans, toying with it for a moment before pulling it out of its loop and drawing your zipper down. His hands skim on the waistband of your panties and you groan, feeling the heat of his fingertips so close to where you most want him.

“What you’re trying to say is?” He asks, tone light and fun, clearly teasing you for your dazed state for the past minute.

Your brain awakes again and you squeeze his arms, remembering what you were about to confess. “Right. What I’m trying to say is—”

Eunseok sucks on your pulse point and you groan, turned on and frustrated. You know he’ll just keep fogging your mind further until you are a blabbering mess. And although you’re not opposed to that, you really need a moment to catch your breath so you can communicate with him properly. After that, you can do what you both are clearly desperate to do.

“Wait,” you whisper, pushing on his shoulders. “I need a second.”

He pulls back slightly and looks at you, watching your chest heave with each breath you take. “You want to stop?”

You shake your head immediately and press your elbows to the mattress, supporting your head up to look at him. “No. I just need to tell you something.”

His fingers dig on your waist. “Sure, baby. What is it?”

You sigh, moving a hand to his chest and trying to make the words in your brain get out of your mouth. “What I’m trying to say is—” The words get stuck in your throat, a new wave of sudden sensibility hitting you right in the chest, impending them from coming out. You feel you’re about to sob again. “Fuck, I’m saying that I—”

The letters are right there, resting on the tip of your tongue, but they just refuse to get out. I love you, you wanna say. I love you, you wanna scream. I love you, I love you, I love you. That’s all you think about. Three little words that have been swimming inside you for as long as you remember. You waited your whole life to say that to him and now that you’re desperate to say it, your voice fails you, your fear taking over your mind, new tears welling up on your throat.

Eunseok watches you expectantly, just waiting. He’s patient with you, like he is most of the time. His eyes show that he knows what you’re going to say, but also that he badly needs to hear it, probably just as much as you need to tell him. It gives you the strength to push through your last restraints.

You take another shuddering breath and lock your eyes with his. “Seok, I lo—”

Then a sudden sound makes you both jump and he pulls back from you as you sit up on the bed. It takes a second to identify what it is, but the realization downs you both at the same time, your heads tilting together to look at the origin of the noise. It’s Eunseok’s ringtone accompanied by his phone vibrating on your bedside table. He’s receiving a call. And you don’t have to look at his screen to see who the caller is. You know it’s Sian. The woman he just cheated on with you.

Eunseok scurries down the bed to pick up his phone, turning his volume all the way down until the only sign of his girlfriend calling him is the picture glowing under her name on his screen. Then he puts the device into his pants’s pocket and stares at the wall in front of him. His back is turned to you and his shoulders are stiff whilst his phone screen still lights up inside his back pocket until it stills. But barely two seconds later it starts flashing again and you know Sian won’t stop calling until he picks up.

You just fucked up. Majorly so. 

Hurting each other in the midst of your confusing feelings was all you’ve ever done in your life. The sting burned like hell, but it was your way, your uncomfortable comfort zone, something you’ve gotten used to. Upsetting and harmful, but still familiar, still you two. But hurting another person because of it — someone who has nothing to do with your shit, who is a good person above and all? That was a whole new level of dark and twisted.

You sigh, extremely disappointed with yourself, and run your hands through your hair. You knew you were a bad person, but apparently you never thought it would get to this extent. And now here you are.

What pulls you from the bed and puts you on your feet is Eunseok complete stillness. He’s quiet until his phone stops ringing for the third time, probably taking his girlfriend to voicemail. And he remains quiet when it starts to ring again. You get up to comfort him, to put a hand on his shoulder, because you can’t take seeing him hurt by something that is obviously your fault.

You were the one who held back your feelings. You were the one who made him confused. You were the one that confronted him, screamed and cried. You let him hug you, leaned into his arms, shivered and whispered his name like a prayer. You teased him, tempted him, made him cheat. Eunseok isn’t guilty of any of this, you are. It’s your responsibility to take.

You get off the bed and walk towards him. “Seok,” you say, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder.

However, Eunseok flinches away from you, instantly springing back to life and starting to zip up his pants again. You pull your hand back to rest it against your chest, clenching it into a fist and holding your wrist with your other hand.

“I think I should go,” he says to the wall.

You take a step back and sigh. Guilt, shame, fear and rejection pull on your heartstrings, making your chest tight. You don’t have the energy nor the audacity to ask him to stay. Not after what you’ve just done.

“Okay,” you say in a small voice.

Eunseok turns to you, but his eyes look at a distant point at your bedroom wall. “I think we shouldn’t see each other for a while.”

You gulp down the tears swelling on your throat and nod. “Okay.”

He finally looks at you, eyes heavy with remorse. “I just need some time and space, Y/N.”

“Sure, I’ll give them to you,” you say, plastering a fake smile on your face, trying to comfort him despite falling apart inside. ”Whatever you need, Seok.”

“Thank you,” he sighs.

Then he’s back to recomposing himself and collecting some of his things left on the floor and you just stay there, watching him until he’s done. On his way out of your room, he brushes past you and stops. You hold your breath as he gets close and presses his lips to your temple.

“Bye, Y/N-ie,” he whispers over your skin.

You close your eyes and whisper back, “Bye, Seokie.”

Then he exits, hurried steps following down your house hallway. You hear him quickly put on his shoes at the hall and a small beat of silence just before he opens the door. Then the lock clicks open, a gust of wind whistles through it and you know he’s out, the automatic alarm of the door locking it closed, leaving you all alone again.

You fall to the floor, legs too weak to hold the heavy weight on your heart, and look up to the pegboard over your dresser, filled with trinkets and many pictures — pictures of you and Eunseok together.

There’s one of you as five-year-olds at the playground you met and one of you behind Eunseok’s solar system mock up he did for a science fair when you were eight. There’s one of you at twelve playing a shooting game at an arcade and another of you when you skipped class to spend a day at the beach at fourteen. There’s another one of you working together at a part-time job in a cafe when you were sixteen and even a selfie from one of your many movie nights at seventeen. There’s one of you at a burger place when you were eighteen, looking at each other and laughing.

And the last one is just of Eunseok, taken a year back, when things were already too messy in between you. In the image, he’s as handsome as ever, looking down to write something on a notepad, his hair swept back and his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. You remember the distance between his frames and his eyes made you focus on his eyelashes, just like that other time, and that a stirring on your chest made you snap the photo silently and keep it to yourself.

Looking at all of your sacred memories with him, you can’t stop the tears from falling down your face, afraid you just lost the one constant in your life forever.

author's note: Don't hate me, hate Song Eunseok who inspired me to write this. If you want a part of two, comments and asks are welcomed so I'm sure you guys actually like this. Thank you for reading, as always!

[kyokutsu-sama]

Headcanons

"What is it like living with them?"- Captain x f!reader

A/n: I'm at my creative peak for the Black Clover fandom and I have a lot of drafts to post here about it. I hope I can post some more this week.

Tw: slightly suggestive

_____________________________

Yami :

Living with the captain of the black bulls is like a complete married life, with children included (in this case they are his squad members) You won't have a minute of peace because he'll always be teasing you here and there and he won't have peace either because the brats always call him to train and when he doesn't, it's Julius who's calling him on a mission again. He, in turn, can't wait to get back to HQ to be with you. Yes, he loves to see you opening your arms to welcome him back. He will ask you to bring him toilet paper in case Asta forgets to put a new roll in the bathroom. You're the only one he lets into the bathroom when he's there. Needless to say, he will kill the poor boy for forgetting about it. The squad members see you as a motherly figure and whenever the captain tries to slice one of them, they run away and hide behind you and you always defend them. Yami doesn't like to get into trouble when you're around and he quickly changes his personality to someone calmer. He likes to go out with you to drink and gamble, he teaches you a lot about card games. In relation to drinking, if you are resistant to alcohol this only brings advantages as he likes someone who can accompany him when drinking. There will be many nights when you wake up on the living room floor after a night of drinking. You almost don't argue because he doesn't like doing it and often prefers to say that you're right just so there isn't a big fuss between you both. Still regarding arguments, this man also has his bad days so if it's something superficial where you're just making a film, he picks you up and takes you to the bedroom to solve the problem. You can be sure that you will forget the reason for the argument. If you want this man's attention, take the cigarette from his lips or hide the pack. You can also steal his sword. He teaches you how to fight with it but don't you dare break his beautiful sword. He's going to have a heart attack (we all know that he has a little fragile heart🤏🤭) just thinking about having to pay for a new one without even having paid for the previous one.

Julius :

Apart from the part where he has to be away for a long time because he is the wizard king, everything is perfect. It turns out that most of the time you have to walk behind him so he doesn't torment someone random because of their magic. Yes, he lets go of your hand in the middle of a walk to see magic. He starts sneaking out of the office more often than before just to be with you. He loves you and it's hard for him to be away from you. In his free time, he takes you for walks, holding your hand and visiting different places. It is worth remembering that he will often have to use magic to change his appearance since if he appears as a wizard king among people he will quickly attract their attention to him. You'll also have to get used to the fact that he always arrives late because of the amount of paperwork he had to sign. He's always teasing you and it only get worse if you're not paying attention. Please, this man needs attention. Of course he also likes to make you laugh if you're sad. You are his queen and like a good king, he needs to take care of his wife. He always makes a point of having meals with you since it's one of the few times you're together. And if he comes home early from work and you're waiting for him, you have long conversations about everything and everyone before bed. (This man loves gossip and tea and no one can convince me otherwise🤭)

As you are the wife of the wizard king, you are greatly adored and respected by the people and when you accompany him to a ceremony in the castle, there will be many eyes on you. If you are not a member of royalty and those looks are disdainful towards you, he will hold your hand and like to show everyone that you are an incredible person and that he is very proud of you.

Fuegoleon :

Living with this man is a dream. He's the husband material and is always kind to you and always tries to meet all of your needs. He spends most of the day busy either in the office or training his magic knights, so if you want to go there, feel free, he loves your visits. You know you've won in life when you're his brothers' protégé. Leopold loves you and calls you to train or do something else. He adores you for being who you are and for taking care of his brother. As for Mereoleona (How I love this woman😫), she easily drags you to the hot springs to talk to you. She may seem harsh about everything but I assure you that she cares about you. Proof of this? She always asks if your brother has taken good care of you and if not, she'll kill him for that, even if the poor guy would never be able to neglect you. I'm not even talking about the part where every time she comes home after being away for months, she always asks you if you're already carrying her nephew. Yes, she is waiting for this and don't make this woman wait. If he has free time, he will look for you so that you can both go out somewhere, be it for a walk or to eat. He also trusts you enough to tell you if something isn't going well at work even if he prefers not to because he doesn't want you to worry. He is very selfless and he doesn't want this to bother you in any way, even if you assure him that this doesn't happen. Just like Julius, if he comes home early, he will immediately look for you. You two also talk a lot about different subjects and besides, he likes to hear your points of view too. There are also frequent cuddle sessions before bed.

[soulcaketuesday]

Eight of Pentacles 🌤️

Eight of Pentacles symbolises diligence, self improvement and learning new skills. Miki sits peacefully in an overgrown sunlit garden, having spent all day painting birdhouses. Instead of chasing his nostalgia, he's honouring it by creating something practical and new. Sometimes you need to let go of perfectionism and just enjoy the act of creating - it might not be a masterpiece that perfectly captures the magic of childhood, but putting a lot of effort and sincerity into a project will always be worth your time.

this is one of my pieces for a zine that was unfortunately cancelled. the other piece is here, go look at this kid winning the cycle of violence. drafts and notes below

will you guys make fun of me if i over-explain this to death 🥺👉👈 so um the inspiration for this is the start and end of ep26: starting with kozue trying to save a birds nest as a tree is being cut down, and ending with miki putting up a bird house to replace the tree. the bird house doesn't repair their relationship - they don't speak in the moment except to insult each other - but when we see them next in the finale they're a lot more comfortable with each other! is miki's birdhouse an empty gesture or is it the first shaky step to finding an understanding? idk 😊 i think its neat

i thought itd be nice if he was approaching art and creativity in a more relaxed way, just enjoying learning a new skill. repeating the same song over and over will only get you so far <3 i think this boy needs a new hobby <3

some things:

the designs of the birdhouses are based off the twins' bedroom. they start off a bit more messy and simple but get more detailed towards the bottom. he's getting better thru practice! and the last pentacle is still a work in progress

the fireflies were originally going to be flowers, and i think i spent like 20 minutes googling native japanese wildflowers that would grow in a setting like this and also had the right flower symbolism i needed 🫠 but anyway in one of the early check-ins someone said they liked the fireflies and i thought sure!!!! sounds good lmao :D imo they imply a late summers evening and a long day of outdoor work which probably works better than me struggling with flower symbolism lol

the shoes looks good as hell before i remembered i had to cover them up with grass and the frame. now they just blend in to the piano a bit. sad!

for some reason i did all the line art for this and then painted it anyway. why did i do that.

i'm still kinda fond of the first one with miki studiously leaning over a miniature rose garden while the actual garden grows wild around him... one of the interpretations of eight of pentacles (reversed) is being so focused on details that you overlook the bigger picture, which i think really fits miki as the student councils Bloke Who Does Fuck All. he has the appearance of someone who's very analytical and sensible, but he's so locked in his own tiny perception of the world that he mostly just comes up with whatever conclusions suit him best, regardless of any harm he might be ignoring or outright causing. HOWEVER that's kind of an ungenerous interpretation for a relatively chill card 😌 also i had no ideas for a background and the composition didn't work with the border so rip to that idea

i liked the stopwatches as pentacles so tried to reuse it in the third design but was out of ideas by then. the seconds thumbnail with the birdhouses and the piano kind of came naturally so that's what i went with :) and it more or less stayed the same in the final result. i was thinking of adding some kozue presence, like empty milkshake cups or a birds nest or graffiti on the side of the old piano, but imo that would have made it too cluttered. i literally did forget to add paint pots tho OOPS

[egurt]

"daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird"

Trein,Crewel,Sam (separataly) x gn!reader

summary: reader is tired, they noticed. basically father figures headcanons¿

‼️ English isn't my first language (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ strictly platonic!!!!reader is yuu. this is my old draft i hope it is as good as i remember

To be honest, all of this was starting to irritate you. Your friends' endless overblots, their indifference to your problems… Hell, they don't even ask how you're doing! None of them! And you're practically fainting from overwork and poor nutrition. Although it's not their fault that you have such a disgusting daily routine and lifestyle, right? But they could at least ask for the sake of decency.

The inaction of the Headmage was also getting on your nerves. This useless parody of a principal was diligently (no) trying to pretend that he was trying to find a way to get you home, but you seemed to have completely resigned yourself to the fact that this would never happen. And Crowley still had the courage to call you to his office every Friday, ask how your studies are going, knowing full well that everything is terrible, give you three and a half yen for living expenses and forcibly throw you out of his office! By the way, you haven't heard from him for a long time.. Is he on vacation again!? What a jerk-!

In general: You are tired. Very. Very much. It's like your friends don't care, you will never see your family again, and you have two hryvnias and one kopeck for living expenses.

Although, even if you think that no one notices your exhaustion, you are wrong.

Someone did notice.

Mozus Trein.

The old man has a nose for teenage problems, he is a real father, one of the few teachers, if not the only one, who has children

who had..

in general, he knows how depressed children behave. Experience!

"Perfect." - a male voice, this time imbued with a previously unfamiliar warmth, tears you out of your stream of thoughts. You raise your head only to see that you are left with your precious professor all alone in the classroom. It takes you a few seconds to realize that they are talking to you and that the room is empty.

The professor looks at you, the tense frown on his face softens when your eyes meet. - "It seems you spend too much time with Kingscholar, he is a bad influence on you, you are already starting to fall asleep during my lectures." - Trein shakes his head, but his tone is light, as if he is trying to joke.

"Ah…" - you straighten up, rubbing your eyes, trying to get rid of a horse dose of fatigue. - ".. I'm sorry, Professor, too much workload lately."

Trein puts his fingers on his chin and closes his eyes. - "Let me ask what kind of workload? I can't remember me burying you in too many assignments? Is Crewel being too harsh with you? Maybe I should figure it out-.."

"No, absolutely not!!" - you rush to interrupt him, waving your hands. - "Professor Crewel is not to blame for anything! It's Crowley who is piling a lot of work on me."

"Hm."

After that, you very clearly felt the difference between what kind of workload you had before and what you have now.

Unbeknownst to everyone, Trein was softer, more gentle and affectionate towards you: He praised you more often, called you to him after classes just to chat and relax, to talk about your problems.

It's so warm and cozy next to him, as if you were sitting by the fireplace under a fluffy knitted blanket, sipping ginger tea with milk.

He's your outlet, the one you can come to in any state and he will give you that parental love and care that you so lack.

Oh, how he misses his daughters.

10/10 ideal father figure.

Divus Crewel.

"Pup, come to me after class." - Crewel's voice, like a whip, cuts through the concentrated silence of the classroom. His tone sounds like a threat, a question rushes through your head: what have you done? Your classmates cast sympathetic glances at you, as if they have already sung the last verse for your soul.

But you silently fulfill the request, as always. When the classroom was empty at the end of the lesson,Crewel with some suspiciously serious and displeased look, which looked too much even for him, crossed his legs and looked at you so persistently and intensely that you could practically physically feel a hole being burned inside you.

"You… wanted something, Professor?" - you ask, awkwardly playing with the sleeves of your shirt, which is unforgivably big on you.

"I'd like to know what's going on with you." - Crewel begins. - "When you first came here, I could write off your shortcomings and mistakes to the fact that you're new to this world and just adapting, but now… You've been here for two years and you still make the stupidest mistakes in my lessons." - The professor leans back in his chair, twirling his pen between his fingers. - "But you're not stupid and I know it. So the only explanation for your sloppy approach is… fatigue." - The man concludes, looking at you with either condemnation or regret, it's hard to say.

You rush to come up with empty excuses, to tell the professor that everything is fine, that nothing bothers you, that it seems to him, but he covers you up faster, before you can utter a word: - "Let me guess, a ragged parrot is unable to take care of his most valuable student?" - He sees how you immediately quiet down, confirming his point.

"I see. So, listen to me, pup." - Crewel says,a little softer than his original commanding tone. - "If you need anything, then don't be shy, come to me."

He worries about you, sincerely worries. But what angers him most is the fact that Crowley is the reason for your fatigue.

Crewel almost killed Crowley after your conversation, he was ready to rip out all the feathers of this pigeon, for the way he behaves.

Why does Crowley avoid you when he sees you next to the professor?

He will not treat you in any special way in class, at least, he thinks so.

Crewel himself does not notice how he speaks to you much more tenderly and softly than to the others. The way he unconsciously ruffles your hair like you're some little animal, the way he turns a blind eye to some stupid mistake while checking your test, for which he would mercilessly take a couple of points off if it were another student.

You like chatting with him, especially gossiping. He turns out to be a very good friend, haha. But his advice, despite all his tenderness and warmth towards you, is quite harsh and firm.

"You need to be firmer." or "Don't let them treat you like that. You're not some kind of dirty mutt, right?"

8/10 great father figure, but maybe he shouldn't coddle you in front of everyone, it's not professional! Although, who cares? 10/10.

Sam. why doesn't he have a card yet(

You stood at the counter, looking as pathetic as you could, staring at your planned purchases - tuna for Grim and a couple of packs of instant noodles. You didn't have enough money. You really didn't.

Sam could have sworn he almost burst into tears right there on the spot along with you, just from looking at your saddened face. - "Hey, hey, wait-!" Sam reaches across the counter to grab your sleeve before you can leave without buying anything. - "I'll give it to you for free!"

You blink at him, not quite sure if he's serious or not, because well… it's Sam. But he's dead serious. - "Really..?"

The man exhales, completely taken aback by your innocent charm. - "Yeah, really." - And at that moment Sam was ready to give you all the treasures of his shop, just to see how a spark of joy flashes in your eyes, how a bright, sincere smile blossoms on your lips, and how you, infinitely grateful, shower him with gratitude.

He would like to see more often how your tired face lights up with a smile.

Sam knows firsthand about your money problems, the fucking bird does not give you enough!

He is ready to offer you a part-time job in his shop.

Believe me, he will pay you much more than Crowley.

He absolutely gives you generous discounts, and when he feels especially generous, he can even give the goods for free, if it is a food item. (Just don't tell the other students, otherwise they will get even more impudent!)

Sam thinks that he can do little to help, not imagining how happy you are that you can eat something other than miserable noodles.

He's too young to be a father! At least that's what he told you. But he's willing to put up with being an older brother or a cool uncle. So 7/10 father figure, 10/10 cool uncle

[rafaron1223]

SPY x FAMILY's Initial Plot

As previously mentioned in my last post, I found a magazine from 2020 featuring a segment with Endo discussing Spy x Family. In my last post, I shared the drafts of the volume covers, but now I want to dive into the really interesting bit here (that I've found for now lol) that is the manga's initial plot.

Spoilers for the manga ahead, as I'll discuss some of those here.

There are many things one can see when comparing it to the manga's current story, but keep in mind that this is merely an initial version of the story, and some things that are written here may not be indicative of what's to possibly come to the future of the story, but is still good discussion nevertheless to see what could have been.

This story has three parts, let's begin with the first:

So we can already see here that "A" aka Loid is a lot different in this version compared to what we have now. He retains his womanizing skills but is not a very good spy. Which is an interesting thing to do, but I just kind of think of Daybreak when I hear "not a good spy" lol. Though I got no idea if Daybreak has any charming skills in the SxF world lol. In any case, I think it would have been interesting to see how a less-skilled version of Loid would solve the conflicts that the current Loid has faced so far.

Another part is how this version Operation Strix (which more or less has the same goal) and the formation of the Forger Family was going to be handled. As this version of Loid was unfit to take on the mission, it was instead going to be assigned to another agent with an actual family. But because of Loid wanting to take credit for the mission, he decides to create his own family. I think seeing Loid acting more selfishly like this is very fascinating, as it's something I can't really see current Loid doing.

Also, Endo having Loid start creating the family by finding a wife first is an interesting choice, but I can see why he went for the child in the current version. It's a much stronger start.

Now we move on to the second part:

"B" aka Yor is very interesting to compare to her current version. Her reason for becoming an assassin is very different here, with Yor on a revenge quest to find the person who killed her family, which is part of the reason why she decides to stick with Loid. But aspects like her secretly desiring a normal life and falling for Loid during their first meeting are the same (though the idea of Loid immediately flirting with her is very funny). There is also Yor working as an office lady, which seems pretty similar to her city hall job. I remember Endo saying in the EYES ONLY fanbook that she was originally a janitor, perhaps this script was written after he scrapped that idea?

As a side note, knowing that Yuri's character was simply going to be just "Yor's brother" before Endo combined him with the SSS officer hunting Twilight by the time he got to chapter 10, I wonder how he would have played into this version of the story.

And for the third and final part:

To start, it seems like Endo always intended to set this story in a post-war era. He may have already mentioned it before in other media, but I can't remember, someone please remind me 😂

As for "C" aka Anya, there's a lot going on here. Usually we don't get a lot of Anya's backstory, so getting this draft version is really cool to see. In the current story, we never know what the lab is and how exactly Anya managed to escape it, but this version explains that she is a government experiment (which at this point I'm pretty sure we all think this lol) and escaped the lab with her telepathy. Reading how the orphanage she stays at afterward feels pretty similar to the condition we see it in chapter 1, but I imagine that's why Endo had some ideas to draw her as sickly at the start. Also interesting to note that she instinctively knew that it was a good place to hide from the government. For however old she's supposed to be, she's a pretty clever girl.

Anya also missing her parents seems to be an aspect of her character that remains in the current version of the story, though it's more about her mother than both of her parents.

Later, when Loid comes to the orphanage to adopt, pretty much the same scenes play out except that Anya hears the name of her parents in Loid's mind (or Yor's, seems like there was a possibility of her being there with him), which motivates her to get adopted by him, thus completing this pseudo family.

It's interesting that this version of Anya remembers her parents' names while our current Anya doesn't seem to at all (as far as we know). Makes me wonder if this version of Anya was slightly older, perhaps being an actual 6-year-old's age if the school admission plotline was a thing during the writing of this plot.

Endo has also stated in the EYES ONLY fanbook that Anya was originally going to have some sort of superpowers, and seeing the combination of telepathy and a little bit of telekinesis is wild. I wonder if Endo will ever revisit telekinesis and give it to Anya later down the line, but I'm not sure if I'd like that.

It also seems like Loid would have been slightly aware of Anya's abilities, but brushed it aside.

Regarding the final line of the plot: "C"'s target is a lieutenant general. It's a simple line, but there's nothing we can go off from here I think. But knowing that this version of the story states that Anya's experiments were headed by the government, I can imagine her remembering a particular figurehead from there, that being this lieutenant general.

All in all, I really enjoyed having to translate, read, and share this draft version of the story! Getting to see Endo-sensei's older versions of the characters we know as the Forger Family w

as super cool to see! The next post related to this will hopefully be the last, the entire 6 page interview with Endo-sensei, but I promise to deliver! Thank you for your patience, and I hope to see you guys next post!

[stargrillzz]

𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 summary: You and Geon-woo will always have each other's backs, everytime. note: It’s been a loooooooo g time since i’ve watched such a masterpiece on Netflix, I think i’ve never liked a this much a series. Remember, my first lenguage it’s not english soo sorry for any mistakes. Also Im posting a lot bc Im finishing a bunch of drafts that I forgot about, and I was so bored that I just sat and finish evrey single draft, Im literally with 0 drafts right now. xoxo

You’ve known Gun-woo for as long as you can remember. From the first time you two met in the neighborhood as kids—both a little awkward and shy around each other—to the unbreakable bond you shared as teenagers. You were always the bolder one, the one who spoke your mind and wasn’t afraid to show affection, while Gun-woo remained as quiet and reserved as ever.

Even as you grew older, your dynamic never changed. He’d be there for you—always, like a silent protector, always a little flustered when you teased him, but never pushing you away. And you, well… you always liked to mess with him.

Tonight, as the two of you sat in the park, just talking and laughing about nothing in particular, you found yourself staring at him more than usual. Gun-woo, dressed in his usual loose-fitting shirt and jeans, was so unassumingly attractive, it almost made you feel like you were seeing him with new eyes. The way the moonlight hit his face, making his features softer, his dark eyes reflecting the faint glow… it made your heart flutter in a way it hadn’t before.

"You know, you're kind of cute when you’re not being all shy," you said casually, leaning back against the bench.

Gun-woo’s face flushed immediately, and he nervously looked away. "I-I’m not cute…"

You leaned forward, closer to him, the playful smirk on your lips growing wider. "Oh, please. Don’t act like I don’t know." Your voice was teasing, but there was an underlying tenderness in it.

He shifted awkwardly, his fingers twitching at his sides as if he didn’t know what to do with them. "Y-You’re just messing with me again…"

"I’m serious, Gun-woo," you said, softening your tone. "You really don’t see what I see, huh? I’ve known you forever. I see all of you."

For a moment, he didn’t respond, his silence hanging between you two. It wasn’t like him to not respond, but something in your words must’ve made him pause, because when he did speak, his voice was quieter, more vulnerable. "I don’t think I’m… I don’t think I’m good enough for you."

Your heart ached hearing him say that. You knew Gun-woo had always doubted himself, always thought he wasn’t worthy of anything more than being just a quiet, protective friend.

You reached out, placing your hand on his, squeezing it gently. "You are. You’ve always been enough for me. More than enough."

He looked up at you, his gaze lingering on your face. For the briefest second, his shyness melted away, and something deeper flickered in his eyes. The moment stretched between you two, and you felt a warmth, a pull, something unspoken.

And before you knew it, you were leaning in. Your lips brushed against his in a soft, tentative kiss, like neither of you were sure if it was okay, if it was right. But as soon as you felt the warmth of his lips against yours, everything in your chest seemed to settle.

Gun-woo froze for a second, and you pulled back slightly, just enough to look into his eyes, filled with surprise but also a quiet longing.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

You laughed softly, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "No, you didn’t. I wanted that too."

He seemed to relax a little, his shoulders dropping in relief. The moment felt more real, like you were crossing an invisible line that had always been there, just waiting for you both to notice.

But before you could savor the quiet, tender moment, a sudden shout broke the peace. You turned to see a group of thugs walking toward you, clearly up to no good. They were looking for trouble, and they’d found it.

Without even thinking, Gun-woo stood up quickly, blocking you with his body. His voice was low but firm. "Stay back."

You knew Gun-woo was good at fighting, but seeing him in action still sent a thrill through you. The fight was fast and brutal. Gun-woo moved with the grace of someone who’d been trained for this kind of thing his whole life—quick jabs, strategic moves, his body a blur of action as he protected you from harm. Every strike he delivered was calculated, each one landing with a precision that made your heart race with both admiration and fear.

You stood frozen, watching him move with such raw intensity. You couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride for him, seeing him like this—fighting not just to defend himself, but to keep you safe.

When the fight was over, and the thugs scattered, Gun-woo turned back to you, panting lightly but looking as composed as ever. His eyes locked onto yours, and the intense moment from earlier returned.

"You’re okay?" he asked, his voice still a little shaky, but his concern was evident.

You nodded, walking toward him and placing your hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat rapidly beneath your palm. "I’m fine because of you."

And before either of you could think about it too much, you leaned in again, kissing him more confidently this time. It was slower, deeper, as if the world had melted away and it was just the two of you. No hesitation. No shyness. Just love.

When you finally pulled back, you looked at him with a smile. "I’ve always known you were worth it, Gun-woo. Always."

His hand cupped your cheek, and for the first time in years, he smiled back—genuinely, shyly, but with all the love in the world.

"I don’t know what I did to deserve you," he said, his voice soft, but full of warmth.

You just laughed and kissed him again, this time not letting him say anything more.

After all, sometimes actions speak louder than words.

this is really short and simple but i really liked it.

[bonus-links]

IMMA BE THE FIRST TO ASK (I HOPE) CUZ IM LITERALLY CHOMPING AT THE BIT DIRECTORS COMMENTARY PLEASE

GANON??? THE EYES???? BANGER UPDATE 👹

the people have spoken and they want director's commentary (this isn't even all of them lol) OKAY HERE WE GO

the original draft of this scene was much shorter, and Loft actually didn't say anything at all in it. As I kept making the chapter it started to feel weird that he would just. Let Ganondorf say his piece without contributing anything. i like this version of the scene much better

listen. I love WW Ganondorf. He's my favorite Ganondorf. I was going to find a way to fit him into this chapter no matter what

in particular, I love that you get a sense from WW Ganondorf that he is, on some level, sympathetic to Link. Or if not sympathetic, understanding of his place in all this. He tells Link that his gods have abandoned him, that he has not particular quarrel with him, etc. But ultimately it doesn't matter. If this is who the gods have sent to stand in his way, so be it. Essentially, it's not my fault the gods are so callous as to send a child after me.

we're going w the canon that WW Ganondorf is the same as OOT, or at least remembers being him. Don't ask me how. Nintendo doesn't know either

big ol eyeball. which could mean nothing

How does Ganondorf recognize Loft? by that stupid hat. jokes aside he doesn't know Which Link Specifically Loft is, but he's smart enough to figure out that he's a hero of some sort.

Likewise, Loft is smart enough to figure it out as well. He's spent a lot of his chapter thinking about Ganondorf, and if you'll recall from Ch1, he knows from Zelda that Ganon once had a mortal form. I think, from Loft's perspective, he has a hunch that this Ganon figure is the mortal reincarnation of Demise, the way Zelda is the mortal reincarnation of Hylia. I wanna emphasize that's what HE thinks might be going on based on his experiences. He's not the knower of all things. He has a conspiracy board in his mind

the face of a guy who's like. I am not going to be lectured to about morality from the King of Evil. I was very excited to let Loft be snarky at long last. But he also, notably, doesn't push back against what Ganondorf is saying that hard. He doesn't even say that he's wrong, just implies that he's probably a hypocrite. In fact, a lot of this update is about what Loft DOESN'T say or acknowledge

Ganondorf's opening line is about how much he hates that statue of the hero of time, because it's "such grandeur for a mere child". I think he means that at face value, but he's also making another point— the hero of time was a child, but they're not going to depict him that way in his monument. It's honestly sort of ambiguous with the actual model because of ww's style, but it looks like adult proportions to me. The story Wake grew up with calls him a child, but his monument in the castle is of an adult. That was the idea behind this set of panels, the parts of the Hero of Time's story that aren't going to be put on the pedestal

speaking of that I realized making this update that I literally. forgot the pedestal. I just didn't draw it all this time. in my defense the castle in no clip looks like this. no statue or pedestal

except I recently found out by accident that he's literally. under the floor. what the fuck

ANYWAY. I really liked the symmetry of Ganondorf turing to stone at the end of the dream. He won't get any perfect monuments made to him. Also, looks like there's a suspicious lack of water in the underwater castle. which could mean nothing

I'm not gonna comment too much on other details, because i've got to keep some of my secrets. I do think that this update gives a lot away HAHA though that was kind of on purpose. We're entering year 3 of this comic and we're finally starting to get places lolol

WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT loft looks the same way he did when he last touched the triforce

and we've seen a border similar to this before haven't we

that's all i got for now, thanks everybody! im having a blast reading ur comments <3

[shatteredblissxx]

If you meant it.

full fic here!

✧ pairing: frat!gojo satoru x reader

✧ synopsis: you and gojo were never meant to last. he said he changed. he didn't. you believed him anyway. you always did. he was all parties and half-kept promises—frat house loud, missing calls, showing up late, if at all. you were soft edges and quiet expectations. and when it ended, it hurt. not in the dramatic, screaming kind of way. but in the slow, aching silence that creeps in when someone you love just stops showing up. you never expected to see him again. not like this. not at another party. not looking at you like he still remembers. not asking for one more chance like it's still his to take.

✧ tags/warnings MDNI: fem! reader, alternate universe-university, modern setting, toxic relationship, exes to lovers, second chances, angst, hurt/comfort, emotionally repressed reader, gojo satoru is a mess, alcohol use/party culture, fratboy gojo, heartbreak, mutual pining, suggestive themes, eventual smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), creampie, pet names (baby or angel), slight choking, fingering, overstim.

✧ word count: expect around 10k or more...

✧ authors note: hi! so i've been on a six-year hiatus (yikes), but im finally back—sorta. this is just a little teaser of something i've been working on. i know it's crumbs, but trust.. the rest is coming, and yes, it will hurt. i just wanted to drop this and see how it lands, im also going to be uploading the full draft onto AO3! if you like it, let me know (PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE). if you dont, thats okay!

i'm trying very hard not to disappear again >:)) <333

monday mornings had their own rhythm. you liked them quiet, still air, soft clothes, the comfort of a routine that made you feel just a little more in control. you took your coffee black now, not because you liked it that way, but because sweetness reminded you too much of him. you sat in the back of your lecture hall, half-listening to the professor drone on about things that didn't matter while your mind drifted to things that did.

everyone says you're doing better. and in a lot of ways, you were. your grades are solid. you wake up on time, most of the time. you've started doing your skincare routine again. you show up, laugh when you need to, and you've learned to exist without waiting for his name to light up on your phone. you're doing the damn thing. but sometimes when the day slows down and you're alone in your dorm—when the noise stops—there's a heaviness that settles in your chest. quiet, familiar.

you never used to believe in first love. you thought the idea was romantic nonsense. but then he showed up with that crooked smile and chaotic charm, and ruined that certainty. you didn't mean to fall for him. but there was something about the way he looked at you - like you were the only real thing in the world—that made it impossible not to.

he wasn't perfect. far from it. there were nights he didn't call, parties he didn't leave early for, promises he made with all the right words but none of the follow-through. he hurt you. over and over. and still, when he texted you after five months of silence last september, you answered. you shouldn't have but you did.

you gave him another chance, even though something deep down told you not to. he swore he changed. told you this time would be different. that he was ready. and maybe he meant it—part of him did—but it didn't stop him from vanishing again. from proving that nothing had really changed. you still remember the date. november 14th. the last time you heard from him.

and now? now you exist in the after. you tell yourself you've moved on, and maybe you have. but there are nights you still check his. page, still scroll through old texts, still wonder what it might've been if he'd just shown up like he promised. you wanted to hate him. god, you should. but you dont. because he was your first love. and no matter how much he messed it up, some pieces of him still live inside you.

what he doesn't know, what he never let himself say out loud, is that he loved you. he really did. but he was scared. of what? you never got the answer. maybe of being known. maybe finally having something real. or maybe... of you.

the thought slips down your spine like cold water, dragging you out of the haze you didn't even realize you'd sunk into.

buzz buzz

you glance down at your phone.

to be continued..

©shatteredblissxx

[mechncheese]

your designs are so peak! dyou think youd be willing to share some of your process for how you develop the looks you make?

Sure thing ! I'll take you on a journey into my mind's eye

Long text post ahead in case anyone's interested in my designing process

I start off with references-- lots of references. I pull inspiration from more than one iteration for a character ! For Brainstorm specifically I took the most inspiration from IDW Brainstorm with aspects from G1 like his darker/greener color.

Red Alert's darker color palette is also based on the TFA design with heavy IDW influence. First Aid's little doctor's coat was inspired by the Bayverse Crosshair's coat. Ratchet's design is based on his Prime, G1, IDW, and Cyberverse iterations but I took the most inspiration from his Prime design (I think Prime Ratchet is also my favorite Ratchet so I might be biased)

Before I begin designing anything, I map out the character's silhouette, it gives me a feel for the shapes I want and how they'd stand out in a lineup. Here's Wheeljack for an example.

Then I start the first draft/sketch. I just draw on top of the silhouette and adjust as I go, I'm mostly going based on what feels right to me.

Since a lot of the bots I was working with had White and Red color palettes I had to use different accent colors to break it up and I wanted to emphasize their shape language. I try to keep things from blurring together too much. I also used various off-white colors (it's very subtle) and different shades of red.

I also pull inspiration from figurines/model kits from gundams specifically-- honestly I do this mostly for the legs, I struggle a lot with making the legs look right so I look at Gundam legs for references on knee articulations and the ankles.

a lot of it is trial and error and it usually takes me more than one attempt before finalizing a design. Let me show you the monster that is my first Brainstorm attempt.

Good fucking god I have no idea what the hell I was thinking, literally the first thing I said to myself as I was finishing this was "Oh my god he is UGLY, I cannot keep him like that" he was not working out so I went back to the drawing board and worked small.

Here was my second draft of Brainstorm, I was thinking about his personality as I was working on him which I think helped a lot. Chaotically natured, I incorporated a lot of sharp shapes and I darkened his color palette to a sea green to let the red and yellow/orange accents stand out. It also emphasizes his more sinister personality while the broad yellow-accented shoulders paired with the extra red accents kind of give him this "show-off" and "full of himself" vibe.

My previous mistake was that the blue was far too bright and the orange and red were just clashing too much. Also his wings being flat against his back just did not fit him. I think I was too afraid to break to mold with Brainstorm-- Like there was this line between "This is not Brainstorm enough" or "This is too far from being Brainstorm" and then I remembered his very wise words

Then I just started to get adventurous and experimental and bam, we have Science AU Brainstorm. The major takeaway from this is don't be afraid to get wild with your designs.

In contrast, Since Prowl and Brainstorm will be seen around each other a lot, I kept Prowl's design less flashy and his palette limited, pulling heavily from IDW Prowl. It also fits his personality, he's much more serious and orderly. So when they're seen in the same drawing, there's this nice design compliment between Brainstorm and Prowl.

Another oopsies I did was initial First Aid attempt where I made his accent color orange for some reason. It looked really bad and I ended up changing it to blue which worked a lot better.

But yeah ! That's my general design process ! Play around, have fun and don't be afraid to get experimental and try some new things for designs !

[vanishingcherry]

YN YLN and Charles Leclerc Take a Couples Quiz

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

author's note: this has been in my drafts for wayy to long, so ive decided to just finish it off and post it. im sorry lmao but i just couldn't watch this rot away in my wips any longer.

masterlist

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑

The video cut to you and Charles, sitting opposite each other in front of a yellow to red gradient, smiling at the camera.

"Hi! I'm YN", you say cheerfully.

"And I'm Charles"

"And we are here to take a couples quiz!"

You are handed a stack of questions from a person off screen, and turn towards Charles.

"Are you ready?"

"Is that the first question?" he retorts.

Your face drops, now showing slight annoyance but there is still a small smile you try to hide. "That's it. Minus 1 points."

"Oh c'mon! That is not fair."

You turn to argue but the video cuts to a different scene in which you ask the actual first question.

"What things do I have, of yours, that are my favourite?

He looks up in thought before chuckling and replying. "Theres a lot, you steal my stuff all the time."

You grin. "Yes, but what's my favourite?"

"My shirts? No wait! My bracelets?" He asks.

"Yeah!" you exclaim. Turning to the camera you add. "He gets so many bracelets from fans and they are all so pretty. We keep them in a bowl on our dresser so I like to take a few whenever I go out."

Looking back at Charles, you add. "You didn't know the answer, but you still got it right so I think you deserve half a point." The staff behind the camera gives you a thumbs up, noting it down for when they would edit the video.

"Ok! Next question- which song of yours is my favourite?"

He looks at you, his eyes widening with a confused expression on his face. He looks at the camera crew and then back at you.

"C'mon, I only have 2 it's not a very hard question."

"Then answer it." you reply, looking at him with a small smirk.

"Fine. Uh, AUS23."

"Wrong!" you exclaim, laughing at the way his jaw drops in surprise.

"Then what? I know its not Miami."

"Its the one you wrote for Baku." you slyly say, knowing fully well that he hadn't released it and you were possibly the only one other than him to have heard it.

You look down at the cards you had been given, reading off the next question. "What is the first thing I eat in the morning?"

You see his smirk growing in your peripheral vision and cut in before he answers. "If you dare make a joke, I will murder you."

He laughs at that, chuckling as he looks up to think. "Um. Breakfast? It's different things every morning, but if I wake up before her then I make cereal."

Noticing the evident confusion on the faces of the cameramen, you elaborate. "It's the only thing he's allowed to make without me present. The last time I let him cook alone, he burned the pancakes and half our kitchen."

Turning red at the story, he interrupts. "Okayy, next question amore."

"Which side of the bed do I sleep on?"

"Left."

"If I could get a tattoo of something, what would it be?"

"A bouquet of flowers. The flowers would be your favourite and my favourite together."

You are shocked at his response. "How did you remember that? I told you that ages ago!"

He smiles slyly to the camera. "That is why I am the best boyfriend, there is no need for these silly questions I am already the best. She told me so in be-"

"Right. Next question." You cut him off, eyes widening as you figure out where he was going with the statement. "This is the last one. If I could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"

"Oh this is easy. Italy. You are always talking about how much you love it. But you also love Monaco and France so depending on how you feel, one of those three."

"Well.", you look at the camera, "I think that answer deserves 2 points." Handing your questions off to the side, you turn to Charles who has started reading the first of his questions.

"If I had a ticket to anywhere in the world, where would I go?" he reads. "This is similar to yours", he mutters.

"Home", you say confidently. "He's a mama's boy, tries to go back home as much as possible."

He blushes slightly before nodding to the camera. "Yup, 1 point."

"What was I wearing on our first date?"

You reply quick as lightening. "A shirt and pants. Very gentlemanly, I remember thinking, probably the best first impression I've had of a guy."

His eyebrows raise at the confession, cockily tilting his head in the direction of the camera. "You heard her! Next, what is something I hate?"

"A lot of things, Char."

"Is that your final answer, cherie?"

"Um." you pause. "Oh I know! When manipulate stuff that you say. It makes me really mad too. It gets really tiresome when they take stuff that Charles has said that turn into into a different story altogether."

"Thats true, I do hate that." He smiles at you, reaching over to squeeze your hand once to say thank you.

"How many kids do I want?"

"3, because you have 2 siblings. But, you said you want as many as I am comfortable with!"

"Of course, amour. You're the one whose going to be carrying them, your choice is more important here. What is something I get annoyed about?"

"Oh, when Seb and Carlos beat you at those Ferrari games you play."

His jaw drops in faux offence, shaking his head as he reads out the last question on his cue card.

"What is one my hidden talents?"

You look straight at the camera, not dissimilar to The Office. A smirk grows on your face and the lens zooms in. In the background Charles can be heard complaining.

"Oh I see! You can make these jokes, but I cant?"

The video cuts to the wider angle once again, you and Charles wave at the camera.

"Thanks for watching our couples quiz! I think it's clear that I've won."

Charles rolls his eyes, eyes shining with admiration and love for you. "Bye everybody."

Comments:

charleslover: OH MY GOD!! THEY ARE SO IN LOVE IT KILLS ME

ynandcharles: their facial expressions always kill me

username89: where do i get a charles leclerc bcs i will willingly offer all the money i have

doratheexplorer16: their love for each other hurts

[avianyuh]

DK as a boyfriend

His personality is the sun baby from teletubbies

I'm just kidding, that was me letting an intrusive thought win...

No but seriously, Seokmin is a ball of sunshine

(ps. I'm gonna be using DK and his actual name Seokmin interchangeably)

When you met, believe it or not, he might be a little shy around you.

Mainly because he thinks you're cute and he becomes hyper aware of how loud he is and how his energy is always at 100%

Basically, he doesn't want to scare you off.

But when you guys get to know each other.

And when he gets comfortable...

Prepare for a lot of screaming.

Btw, remember that he's technically an introvert (INFP)

***(introvert doesn't equal shy. introvert just means you have a social battery and it drains faster. the only way to recharge is to spend some time alone or be around people you're comfortable with. so yeah, DK is loud and happy and goofy at times, but remember he's probably at his most comfortable around the other members because they're all his brothers. they all understand each other and know each other's limits.) okay, explanation over.

But also a lot of hysterical laughing.

DK is the boyfriend that rolls on the floor with you while you both laugh to the point you have tears in your eyes.

And it's all because he made some stupid joke or threw something and didn't catch it in enough time.

Or he stubbed his toe and hit a high note.

Like, anything with him is comedy gold.

He's your happy pill, your personal source of sunshine and positivity.

But I feel like he could always see right through you

And once you're a couple, it'd be his sole mission to make sure that he keeps you happy and energized.

And your mood really influences his mood.

If you're having a bad day, that in turn makes him sad and though he tries to cheer you up, if that doesn't work, he gets upset knowing you're down about something.

It's really sweet. Then you pull yourself out of your rut to try to get DK happy again, which doesn't take much effort.

Would kill at karaoke.

I feel bad for whoever goes against him unless you're Seungkwan or Mariah Carey...

Definitely would sing you to sleep.

Honestly, would just constantly be singing.

Around the house, in the shower, in the car, literally anywhere.

And you tease him for it and call him a show off, which he scoffs at but you always see that smile he tries to conceal by looking down trying to cover his mouth.

Type of bf to send you deep text messages on a random Tuesday night at 10:53 pm

I think Seokmin would know pretty early on if you were a good match for him or not.

Do you make him happy?

Is he crazy about you?

And if he answers yes, then he's made up his mind.

So you'd probably meet the members, his family and friends early on.

I see him wanting a private relationship.

Just wants to protect you and the best way to do that is by not outright publicizing it.

Low key romantic because he's protective, ya know?

*yes, I'm using the iconic robe photo, YOUR WELCOME*

Shmexy shtuff🥵:

Hmmm

First of all, I know he's not the type to be shirtless but I just KNOW that man has a nice ass body. Like, have you seen his arms????He works out so, bedroom action with this man will be great.

like... look at those arms😫👇

I don't see DK as the type to do anything crazy in the bedroom

Probably a vanilla kinda dude

I could see him as the type to play music and get really attentive

I said he would be the type to send long, deep text messages

So, I think he'd be really into pillow talk

Long story short, I don't think DK is for the freaks...

~~~

{A/N: Uh...Heyyyyy. Wow, this is awkward. Soooooo, I've been gone for like two months. Really sorry about that guys. I had taken a short break from writing for awhile due to schoolwork. I know I say that a lot though. Yeah, headcanons don't make up for a lack of stories but this has been sitting in my drafts since January so I thought I'd finally finish it. The other thing is my writers block when it comes to fanfics. I had ideas but found it hard to find an idol to pick and envision for the story, idk if that makes sense. It's almost the end of my semester, I have finals coming up and I really miss writing on Tumblr. Side note; I've been listening to a lot of EXO and Got7 lately. It's been so much fun because I used to be a huge ahgase and exo-l back in middle and high school. Python is such a good song btw. I know someone had asked if I'd write for Got7 and idk, that might be on the horizon. Also, just remembered that I never finished writing Boring, so that'll be one of my summer projects. Okay, I promise to not disappear again. Love you and mwahhhh💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋}