#[ between stressing over an issue at my partner's work that could have. been very dangerous. to my sister needing to just -
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naviculariis · 6 months ago
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Today has been a weird day so I am politely asking y'all to comment your favorite headcanons for your main muse/muses please & thank u. I need some serotonin.
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theramseyloft · 3 years ago
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Shipping a Pigeon
This is not just important for breeders and rescues to know.
The recipients of shipped pigeons need to know how this works as well.
https://foyspetsupplies.com/new-vented-single/
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This is the Horizon Micro Environment vented single box, currently the industry standard for shipping pigeons.
These shipping boxes are designed around the thermodynamics of air and the physiology of the birds.
They are made of sturdy corrugated cardboard, which is surprisingly well insulated! 
The wide vent at the top of the box vents out warm air as it rises, drawing cooler fresh air through the smaller holes all down the sides and across the bottom on the solid side of the box, where the label is attached.
Air holes are covered by a filter, which provides a few benefits: Keeping the bird and its mess contained, moderate protection from outside contaminants, and most importantly, darkness.
Pigeons are diurnal.
Deprived of light, they basically shut off and fall asleep.
If they could see and were active, more than 24 hours with out water would leave them dangerously dehydrated.
But while they sleep, their digestion is drastically slowed; allowing them to conserve water and calories for days longer than they could while active.
I line the boxes with two layers of paper towels and send seeds with them, but there is no safe or legal way to send water, which is why keeping them in the dark for the trip is so important.
Live birds travel mostly by ground, to protect them in case of hazardous materials ending up in the same scheduled shipment. 
If that happens, the live animal is simply delayed until the next scheduled truck or sent along a different rout.
Some times this results in delays. It is not uncommon for a bird to arrive a day or so later than projected, but pigeons travel very well.
If both bird and box are correctly prepared prior to departure, Pigeons are comfortably travel safe for up to seven days.
To prepare my birds for departure, I bring them in 24-48 hours before departure day and keep then in a hospital cage where they have nothing to do but eat and drink and their appetite and hydration levels can be monitored.
Both of which is done by observing the quality of the poop.
Hospital cages are lined with white paper towels to make this easier. 
Paper towels wick the moisture away from a fecal sample, letting you see how much liquid was present in a ring of what’s been wicked from an individual poop.
Too much liquid with a large portion of the first day’s meal left over warns of depressed appetite.
Lots of liquid with very little food left either means that was not a large enough portion, or warns that there may be parasites present that you had no prior knowledge of. 
If you give a larger portion of feed and the solids to liquids ratio corrects, then chances are you underestimated that individuals intake.
If you adjust the portion and the poop is still very sloppy and wet, it isn’t just a portioning issue and shipment needs to be delayed so that the necessary diagnostic measures can to be taken to work out what’s wrong.
If a bird is pooping too dry on the first day, it may just be stressed by the transition into a hospital cage.
If it’s still pooping dry the next day I alert the recipient that the bird is not sufficiently well hydrated and arrange to try again next week.
This is why 48 hour pre-departure holds are better than 24 hour holds.
It is always better to delay and risk the annoyance of the client to be sure the bird is in good enough condition to arrive safely than to assume everything will be fine and risk sending your client an animal that will arrive in need of medical care.
Six weeks is the bare minimum safe shipping age for a baby pigeon, as that is when their baby feathers have generally come all the way in.
New feathers are fleshy and vascular, and requite a LOT of moisture from the bird growing them, so while the baby is fledging, it is extremely prone to dehydration.
Mine go out at nine weeks, because six weeks is the youngest they can safely be vaccinated for PMV and Paratyphoid, and the soonest they can receive boosters and be fully vaccinated is three weeks later.
That puts them well into a travel safe level of development,
A word of caution on adult cocks!
While hens and young birds under four months are generally safe to ship together, It is safest to ship adult cocks with a divider!
Part of what makes pigeons such easy travelers is the close resemblance for them of a shipping crate to a nest crevice.
Adult cocks are VIOLENTLY defensive of potential nest spaces, and his travel partner cannot get away from him!!!
This can result in a travel partner getting scalped to the skull and neck vertebrae if they are lucky enough to shut down in time, 
Or being kept awake and active long enough to fatally dehydrate en rout, leaving only the winning cock and a corpse.
It does not matter if the cock in question was bonded to or friends with this travel partner.
Cocks in driving mode have even scalped and killed their own mates in the confines of the shipping box.
If you are sending out a cock over four months old with another bird of any sex or age, put a divider between them!!!
A length of cardboard running diagonally from one corner of the box to the other is all it takes to ensure that both an adult cock and who ever he’s traveling with will arrive safely and whole, if you do not have the option to send him in his own box.
On arrival, place new birds straight into their enclosure, and show them where water is.
It’s important to give them a few days to get their bearings and adjust to the new normal before being invited out for bonding time.
Human-social pigeons will look to you for comfort after all this change, and will usually beg to be let out on arrival day.
At the very least, wait until you have seen them drink and eat before you let your new bird come out and explore the room at large.
Expect a new arrival by mail to be thirsty and disoriented. They just spent 2-4 days asleep in a box, the jetlag is real.
For the first few days, expect wet poop. The bird will be more interested in water than food for about the first three days, though you should see a steady transition over to water and food intake balancing out over that period.
Ideally, shipping is only done a few times in the life of a pigeon.  If not from their breeder straight to their forever home;
Then from the breeder who hatched them to a breeder that wants peeps from them, and from there to their permanent pet home when they retire
Or from a rescue to a long term foster to a permanent home.
When done correctly, shipping is the safest, most comfortable means by which to transport a pigeon over long distances.
But if done incorrectly, it can be severely injurious or even fatal.
If you are adopting a pigeon from a rescue, purchasing a pet bird from a breeder, or purchasing breeding stock to add to a project, you now know what to ask the rescue or breeder about their shipping procedure to ensure that your birds travel comfortably and arrive safely.
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giaourtopita · 4 years ago
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Hiii! I was wondering if I could request an MC who is getting used to being a demon? Like they keep breaking doors, and ripping clothes bc of their wings
the brothers with a demon mc
thank you for requesting! i just did the brothers but send me an ask if you'd like the undatables too! i slightly referenced this post, you can check that out too but you don't have to because it still makes sense.
warnings; slight angst, mc calls lucifer a bitch in satan's part, fluff(ish), mild self-esteem issues in asmo's part, gn mc.
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*mc died unexpectedly, they were young and their death couldn't be explained, which was what hurt their boyfriend and friends the most. he was in pain and in desperation for a miracle but he knew it wouldn't happen. his love was dead and he had to accept that.*
*he saw them a few weeks after their death, to say he was happy would be an understatement. he was beyond grateful he got to be with them after all. when mc came closer to him, he noticed small horns sprouting from their forehead. it didn't make sense to him but his darling was there so it didn't really matter.*
*he didn't think that a human such as mc could become a demon but apparently there have been recorded some cases where a human that had a pact with one of the most powerful demons can in fact become a lesser demon themselves and live in devildom instead of hell.*
*the transition from human to demon was hard for mc, it was painful as they were developing new limbs and muscles as well as horns. their partner has to help them with the pain, control their new abilities and also teach them how to change forms but of course he was happy to help if that meant that his sweetheart could be with him.*
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lucifer
- mc was with lucifer the whole day during r.a.d., it had only been a few days since the two reunited and both were ecstatic about it. lucifer took care of mc's pain in the morning by applying some sort of healing cream on the base of their wings as well as on the skin surrounding their small horns.
- the pain was coming back and it was much more sharp than the one in the morning. it was getting too intense for mc to handle so they subconsciously turned into their demon form and stretched their wings in order to get some relief.
- they turned into their demon form, startling everyone including lucifer.
- "darling, what happened?", he asked them while looking around at the other demons and signaling them to not stare.
- mc told him about the pain and he took them home after telling lord diavolo what had happened.
- "lord diavolo will set up online classes for you so you can be more comfortable while transitioning."
- lucifer gave them a massage while using the healing cream and gave them a gentle kiss between their horns.
- "i'll teach you how to fly once you're not in pain okay?"
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mammon
- he and mc were hanging out in mammon's room, mc was very playful despite the fact that they were in pain the whole time.
- mc took mammon's jacket and his glasses and started impersonating him. mammon thought they were very accurate with their impersonation and was trying not to laugh, which he failed.
- "mc you look really cute in my jacket, you know that?", mc started blushing so hard that their wings popped out, tearing apart the jacket.
- "i'm sorry, i didn't mean it. i promise i'll get you a new jacket."
- "hey mc, it's okay. i know ya didn't mean it. how are you feeling?", he gently touched the base of their wings making them squirm in pain.
- "i'll go find some pain relief spell okay? just wait here, lay down if it gets really bad.", mammon felt bad leaving them alone right now but he went to satan's room to ask for a spell to help his former human.
- he came back a few moments later with the spell, tended to their needs and gave them a soft kiss on the forehead.
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leviathan
- mc and levi holed themselves up in levi's room watching anime.
- levi was so prepared for their transition that he had ordered a pain relief potion for them so they could be more comfortable watching anime with him.
- mc remembered how levi used to wrap his tail around them whenever they cuddled and they wanted to try that too since they also have a tail now.
- levi agreed and showed them how he does it. mc turned out to be a very fast learner and managed to get it right the first time. they reluctantly wrapped their tail around levi's right side while laying on his left.
- levi started the anime they had recently started watching, it was a new shonen anime and the episode they just started watching was a pretty intense one as it was part of a battle arc.
- mc began feeling stressed on the behalf of the protagonist, levi noticed this because they started squishing him with their tail.
- "mc, i know this is a really stressful episode but could you stop squishing me? i understand that you can't control your tail yet but it really hurts right now."
- mc felt bad and apologized immediately to him. they shifted back to their human form so that they wouldn't hurt levi anymore.
- "hey, once we're done with this episode i'll teach you how to deal with the tail okay?"
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satan
- satan was also very prepared for their transition, he had done some research and had healing creams, pain relief spells and potions within his reach at all time.
- mc was very well taken care of as satan always went a bit overboard with both the pain relief and the healing process, he hated seeing mc in pain so much that he even found them a diet to follow so that their tail would grow faster and the pain will be over sooner.
- "lucifer is a bitch", mc said angrily while getting in satan's room not being careful enough they transform into their demon form and yank the door causing it to break in half.
- "oh no, i'm sorry", they apologised. "i'll fix it i promise."
- "it's okay don't worry about that now, he is but what happened?"
- mc explained to satan that they wanted to go to the grocery store for some snacks but he wouldn't let them go unless one of the brothers accompanied them.
- "you're a demon now so you're much safer than before, but i think the reason why he's not letting you go unaccompanied outside yet is so that you don't destroy anything."
- "here i'll teach you a trick i still use when i get angry to keep my tail from hitting everything.", satan moved closer to them and stood behind them, he took their tail gently in his hands, moved it downwards and started wrapping the tail around their thigh.
- "it will take a while for you until you're able to wrap the tail without using your hands but this will work for now. you're not in pain, are you?"
- "yeah, i'm fine. thank you", mc smiled at him and then looked down to see that he also transformed into his demon form to show them how he does it.
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asmodeus
- "oh sweetie, it's okay i think i can fix it. don't worry!", asmodeus said while looking at the new blouse he just bought for mc.
- mc got upset at themselves because they didn't want to ruin asmo's gift with their stupid wings. it made them feel stupid. how hard is this supposed to be?, they thought to themselves.
- asmo noticed how they felt, after all being around so many people at the same time made him more understanding than the average demon.
- "you know, if you feel bad about your wings don't. they're beautiful and it doesn't matter that you can't control them yet, it's only natural that you can't do that. you weren't born with them so it's okay, if it makes you feel better i can't really control my wings either, i can make them sit in place but i haven't really found a way to use them because they're pretty small and i was born with them. don't worry, you got it!"
- once mc felt reassured, they asked him a question, "maybe i could ask lucifer to help us both with the wing stuff, if anything he must know the most since right now he has two pairs of wings and before the fall he had three."
- "mc, this is not a bad idea. he might get a little annoyed at the beginning but once we figure it out we will basically give him an excuse to be proud of something so he will also gain from this. mc you're a genious, that's why i love you~", he told them before giving them a boop followed by a kiss on the tip of the nose.
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beelzebub
- beel thought it would be a good idea to get mc to actually work out with him now that they're a demon like him.
- he brought them with him to his fungol practice so they could have fun together, mc always wanted to try playing fungol but since they were human it was dangerous but now they can play.
- he told them that they would play in case someone couldn't come to practice or had an injury.
- before practice beel thought them a few tricks so they could keep up in case that got called into the field.
- and they did, one of beel's teammates got sick and couldn't attend practice. it was finally mc's time to shine.
- they shifted into their demon form like the rest of the players and they were able to use all of the tricks they were just taught from beel. they even managed to use some techniques other players used in this practice game and in official matches they had watched prior to becoming a demon.
- all was well until mc kicked the ball using too much force causing the ball to be land outside the field.
- mc immediately apologised and ran to go get the ball and beel followed them.
- "i'm sorry beel, i can't really control my strength yet. i don't think i should be playing fungol yet."
- "it's okay, the rest of my teammates are okay with it, i've talked to them before and your slip ups gives them more time to slack off during practice."
- "oh, okay. thank you!", mc kissed him on the cheek. and the two started walking towards the team again.
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belphegor
- "i can't sleep", mc complained again while rolling on the other side in belphie's bed for the tenth time.
- "why can't you sleep mc?"
- "mammon said that demons can last longer awake than humans, so maybe it's that but since i'm with you i want to sleep but i can't. can you use your power to make me sleep?".
- "i don't want to use my power like that on you, maybe you just need to relax and then you'll be able to fall asleep."
- mc thought about it and maybe belphie was right.
- "i think i can last for about two episodes of one of beel's cooking shows before falling asleep, we could watch one of those so you'll relax."
- "that's a great idea, i'll go get the controller.", mc brought the controller which was on beel's bedside table and chose an episode in which they were baking cakes.
- they lied down next to belphie and put their head on his chest.
- "thank you for staying awake with me."
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flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash · 3 years ago
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Irresistible Danger - Part 60
Synopsis:  After being caught outside the compound on your own, Negan decides to punish you in the best way possible ;)
Words: 3,229
Warnings: nsfw, smut, swearing
ID Masterlist can be found HERE
Masterlist of all my fics can be found HERE
Author’s Note: We’re back! Omg y’all...I finally have a path to the ending for this fic! After this chapter, I’m planning for there to be 5 more chapters until the end, which will give ID a total of 65 chapters. I’m still working on writing and editing these last chapters, but I’m pretty confident in that timeline :D I also plan to post each Friday again, so there should be chapters now through September 10th, if all goes according to plan. 
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PDA
You woke with a smile the next morning, partially because of the happiness filling your chest like a balloon. The other part was because the warm body behind you, accompanied by a rasp of beard on your shoulder and soft lips on your neck, signalled that you weren’t alone. 
The florid orange rays coming in the large windows told you that it was still early, the sun barely risen above the horizon. Turning over onto your other side to face Negan, you took in his tousled hair and heavy-lidded gaze. 
“Mornin’ doll,” he said, voice raspy with sleep. 
“Morning,” you whispered back, pressing a kiss to his irresistible mouth. “No crack-of-dawn meetings today?”
His lips quirked against yours. “Nope, thank fuck,” he murmured, before rolling atop you and spending a good portion of the morning taking you apart with pleasure, then putting you back together piece by piece with cuddles and toe-curling kisses. 
When he later glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost 10am, he gave a groan and flopped onto his back with a forearm covering his eyes. “Much as I’d love to stay here all day, I gotta go with a couple Saviors to check out one of the nearby outposts. They reported some concerns about their fucking security measures, and also requested a few more men be stationed out there to help divvy up their shifts, so I wanna go see if there’s any fucking issues for myself.”
While you felt a tiny thrill that he was so willing to tell you this information, to let you know about his duties as leader, you also had a moment of worry about him possibly assigning more men out to work the outpost. “Is that the one you brought Simon in from a couple weeks ago?” 
Knowing exactly where your thoughts were headed, he said, “Don’t get your fucking panties in a bunch, doll. If the outpost needs more hands, I was planning to send a couple of my newer Saviors.”
Pleased at this response, you smiled and leaned in close so your mouth was hovering mere millimeters from his, before whispering, “I’m not wearing any panties to get in a bunch.” 
Before he could react, you rolled out of the bed and strode to the bathroom, putting a little extra swing to your hips. The growl and unmistakable rustling sound of sheets being thrown off was your only warning before Negan scooped you up into his arms and marched into the bathroom. 
An hour later and you were both sufficiently clean (after first getting extra dirty against the shower wall), and you saw Negan off from his rooms with a kiss and warning to be careful. He gave an arrogant smirk at that, which got him an eye roll and playful shake of your head as a response. 
You watched as he strode down the hall towards the staircase, shoulders encased in leather and his whistle echoing off the walls. While they’d never dare ask him about it, you couldn’t help but give a little smile at the thought of his men wondering why the hell their usually punctual leader was almost ten minutes late to leave for the outpost...and why he seemed so happy about it.
~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
Unable to contain your excitement over the events of the night before, you headed over to Ben’s room not long after Negan left. Thankfully he was there, having just returned from finishing up serving breakfast. His roommate was out this time, so you were able to huddle across from one another on his bottom bunk and catch him up on your conversation with Negan.
Ben listened intently, mouth slowly falling further and further open as you went on. When you got to the part about Negan admitting he wanted only you, and called you his partner, Ben let out a whoop of joy and threw his arms around you in a hug. 
“I knew it!” he exclaimed. “That big lug is head over heels for you.” 
The two of you chatted happily for a bit, before you left and wandered back down to your own room. It had felt like forever since you had a chunk of time to just relax in your bed without over analyzing or stressing over something Negan-related. Gone was the weight of that padlocked box of questions, which made both your brain and subconscious very happy. The three of you snuggled up on the bed and spent the next couple of hours finishing your re-read of Harry Potter before it was time to head down to the kitchen for dinner prep. 
Today’s menu consisted of lasagna using leftover deer meat thawed from the freezer, with the signature side of rolls. Trixie had unofficially promoted herself as being in charge of roll duty, making sure the dough was the right consistency and the ovens at the perfect baking temperature. She wasn’t rude about it, but the little bit of authority she showed when instructing another staff member how to properly knead the dough seemed to fulfill her need to be seen as a knowledgeable and important part of the staff. And in all honesty, none of her feedback to the others was incorrect, so rather than reprimand her or say she was out of line, you had caught her eye at one point and given an almost imperceptible nod of approval. This caused her smile to beam so bright that it was a wonder you didn’t need sunglasses. 
As it turned out, you weren’t the only one who had noticed Trixie’s presence and been keeping a stealthy eye on her. Andrew, a member of the food prep crew, had been not-so-subtly following Trixie with his gaze lately, and today was no exception. He was an attractive man in his early 20s with shoulder-length black hair and kind brown eyes, a much more appropriate candidate for Trixie than her previous choice.
It seemed safe to say that Trixie was aware of the attention as well, as she found every reason possible to flounce past where Andrew was busy loading trays of lasagna into an oven. At one point, she even stopped to chat briefly with him, and out of the corner of your eye you saw her toss back her head and laugh at something he said. If it seemed a bit overly dramatic to you, well, Andrew didn’t seem to mind. In fact, her reaction caused him to fumble with the tray of pasta he was holding, almost spilling the entire thing onto the ground. He thankfully saved it at the last second, otherwise you would’ve had to interrupt and lecture the two of them about focusing on their work and not chit-chatting. And you didn’t want to do that, not when Trixie finally seemed interested in a guy more her age who was actually available and seemed to genuinely like her. 
Despite your initial tension with Trixie, you now realized that she had just been struggling to find where she fit in, to feel like an important part of the community. She’d initially been scooped up and led astray by Amber, but thankfully she had found her way back on the correct path and was making progress at getting along with the others, rather than isolating herself and using condescension as an emotional wall. Someone like Andrew, who was kind-hearted and considerate, not to mention absolutely captivated by her, was exactly what she needed. 
Focusing your attention away from young romance and back to meal prep, you spent the next forty-five minutes making sure everything was baked to perfection before sending out the first trays of lasagna and rolls. However, your mind kept randomly returning to Negan, almost unable to contain a secret smile each time you remembered where the two of you now stood. The usual worry and second-guessing had been replaced by the stability of knowing how he felt, and each time you remembered his words from last night a flutter of butterflies went off in your stomach. 
Negan had told you this morning that the outpost he and a small team of men were going to was less than an hour’s drive from the Sanctuary, so he planned to be back around dinnertime. Sure enough, about 20 minutes into when the first round of food was being served, you saw a small group of Saviors enter the cafeteria and settle down at a table. You guessed that they were the ones who had been out on the mini mission, and breathed a sigh of relief at seeing them back safely and with jovial expressions on their faces. You could always tell when things went wrong on a run, due to the overall aura of the men who returned, but this time they were smiling and talking animatedly with one another. Hopefully this also meant that Negan was in a happy, and perhaps affectionate, mood when you went to visit him later...
It was as if your thoughts had conjured the man himself. You were out in the cafeteria with a large water pitcher, making rounds to refill empty glasses for people, when a hush in conversation made you still and look up.
And there he was, standing at the entrance to the cafeteria with his signature leather jacket unzipped just enough so that the edge of a white tee peeked out over the top. He scanned over the tables like a king surveying his domain, looking both intimidating and absolutely delicious with the arrogant way he held himself, as if he had no cares in the world but was also ready to take on anything.
When his eyes landed on you, those sinful lips quirked upwards at the edges, and you swore that even from the distance of half a cafeteria you could see his golden gaze light up at the sight of you. He moved, striding with determination and purpose to close the space between your bodies. The breath caught in your chest at his beauty, at the raw masculinity and almost animal magnetism that surrounded him. 
He stopped mere inches away, and you gazed up at him in both welcome and a bit of confusion. Trying to act calm and unaffected, and not show how much you wanted to grin and launch yourself at him, you said, “Welcome back.” 
Your eyebrow cocked in question when he shook his head with a low chuckle. “Oh no, doll, that won’t do at all.” And with that, he wrapped an arm around your waist and lowered his head...
And kissed you in front of the entire Sanctuary. 
A wave of shock jolted through you, at the same time as your body automatically responded, molding itself to his. Your brain was flatlined on the floor from the unexpected move, while your subconscious ran around it in circles screaming with excitement. 
You could practically feel all the astonished stares from community members, as they watched their all-powerful leader break one of his cardinal rules and kiss you to within an inch of your life. And dear god, what a kiss it was! His lips were firm yet gentle, his tongue just barely tracing your bottom lip, as if he couldn’t help but steal a little taste. He wasn’t holding back, and the primal part of you recognized that he was publicly staking his claim for all to see. There could be no question after this moment that you were his, and that he wanted everyone to know it. 
When he finally pulled back, you could only look up at him with what must’ve been an utterly dazed expression, if his pleased smirk was anything to go by. Glancing to his left and then right, his brow furrowed and expression turned serious as he bellowed, “What the fuck are you all looking at?”
His words had the desired effect, as eyes dropped back to their plates and the community stuttered back to action, obviously trying and failing to act like something monumental didn’t just happen. You’d have given a lot of points to know what they were all thinking, but you didn’t see any angry expressionsand no one had said anything or acted out of line, so hopefully that was a good sign. 
Negan’s warm hand rubbed comfortingly up your bare arm, and it was then that you noticed he didn’t have his gloves on. That also sparked the realization that he wasn’t carrying Lucille, which was strange since he always had her on his person when making an appearance in front of the community. 
Now that you’re thinking about it, did he even have her this morning, when he left?
You thought back to when you had kissed him goodbye and watched as he walked down the hallway. Surely he’d have taken her with him to the outpost...but you honestly couldn’t remember seeing her up over his shoulder. You had to just be forgetting, because there was no way he’d leave her behind. 
That train of thought was brought to a halt when the hand on your arm trailed down along your waist and settled possessively on your hip. “I wanted to put in a request for one of your staff members to bring two servings of dinner to my room, for Simon and yours truly.” 
Before you could ask if he needed time alone once you were done with dinner, he provided the answer. “We need to go over the fucking outpost inspection results, but I’ll come and find you once it’s done.” It was the second time he’d done that today, answering a question before you had the chance to voice it out loud, which was a sign of how well he was coming to predict your thought process. 
You were still a bit in shock at all of this, especially how he was discussing his evening plan with you so publicly and audibly, as if to show that you were more than just his in a physical sense. He was broadcasting to the community that you were what he had already told you last night: his partner. His voice had been low enough that only the nearby tables would’ve heard, but you knew every moment of this interaction would be spread across the entire community within minutes after he left. 
Giving a smile and trying to look like ‘yep, this is completely normal, no big deal, I am totally not internally screaming with joy and wanting to climb his fine ass like a tree’, you replied, “Of course. I’ll have it sent up immediately.”
“Thanks, doll,” he said with a final smirk. Then his face morphed back into the intense, badass expression of the Sanctuary’s leader, and he strode out of the cafeteria. 
You were left standing there, still a bit shell-shocked by what had just occurred, but also giddy as hell over it. That emotional high was only slightly dimmed by the awareness that now, with Negan gone, you were the sole center of everyone’s attention. A quick scan of the cafeteria showed that most community members were trying not to openly stare. However, the lack of chewing and frequent side glances thrown your way as your legs finally unfroze and started back towards the kitchen were proof that they had all seen Negan’s display of affection. 
While the rest of the community might’ve at least been making a feeble attempt not to obviously stare, the same couldn’t be said of the kitchen staff. At least a couple of them must’ve witnessed what happened when serving trays of food, and those members must’ve scurried back to the kitchen to report it to the others. Every single one of them was staring in wide-eyed silence with a mixture of shock and fascinated curiosity when you walked back through the swinging doors. 
Even though your face felt heated and you were a bit off-kilter, you still managed to sound slightly firm when announcing, “Alright folks, back to work. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
You breathed a sigh of relief when they didn’t argue, but a couple of them did give knowing grins, Trixie included, though at least they all seemed good-natured about it. Trying to act as though your world hadn’t just been spun off its axis with that public kiss, you went over to Ben, who was the only one that had stayed fairly composed the entire time. In fact, his eyes danced with mirth and he was obviously trying to hold back a smirk, so you felt only minimally evil when telling him of Negan’s request that two servings of dinner be taken up to his rooms for him and Simon. Ben gave a playful glare when you told him to take up the food himself, saying it loud enough that some others heard, making him unable to say no without looking a bit suspect. 
When the tray was ready to go a few minutes later, you quietly murmured to Ben as he passed by on his way out of the kitchen, “Say hi to Simon for me.” The words caused a hint of pink to flare in his cheeks as he gave a halfhearted glare. You almost felt guilty for teasing him, but knew Ben would more than forgive you when Negan came through on his promise to get Simon his own room.  
Though the kitchen staff still threw glances your way here and there, they quickly fell back into their usual routine and no one made any direct comments. You were safe from scrutiny...at least for now. At least no one seemed to have any extreme concerns about what had happened, making you wonder how many of them had suspected what was going on between you and Negan before now.
Once dinner and cleanup were over, you headed back up to your room. Negan had said he would come find you when he was ready, so you planned to just lay back and relax until then. 
Oh, who were you kidding. After that kiss, you were totally going to sit on your bed and think about all the dirty things you wanted to do to him the moment the two of you were alone. 
Trying to convince yourself that you could be at least semi-productive and pretend to have a hobby other than fantasizing about the leader of the Sanctuary, you pulled the copy of Harry Potter off your bedside table. You were just opening to the first page, planning to restart it again from the beginning, when a firm knock sounded at your door. 
Pulse jumping with excitement, you rose from the bed and didn’t even hesitate to cross the room and reach for the doorknob. It never occurred to you that it might be anyone other than Negan, let alone for it to be the last person you’d have ever expected to see at your door. But things had been going so well today that it was almost as if fate was bored with your happiness and wanted to add some drama to the mix. 
Totally ignoring the warning prickle that ran up your spine, you opened the door with a welcome smile. It quickly died on your lips at the sight of who was standing on the other side, hands on hips and eyes throwing daggers your way. 
It was Amber...and she looked pissed.
~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
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ectonurites · 3 years ago
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hey! how knowledgeable are you on stephanie brown? because i got in a bit of an argument with a dc fan on reddit who claims she's all these awful things, but im still relatively new to steph and i want to see what was true and what wasn't. link to screenie right here: https://ibb.co/vh6CYCJ
these may be matters of opinion, but even then, i'd like to know your take. i haven't read her firsthand often enough and i trust your judgement over this random redditor who seems to have some sort of blonde-woman related trauma left untapped.
I'm not necessarily the most knowledgable on her in the world, but I do know a decent amount because she's one of my absolute faves and I love her
But ohhhh boy that screenshot is a lot.
I will say that several of the things this person brings up are based in canon but are taken in the worst faith and framed in the way that makes her look as bad as possible, if that makes sense? It’s ripping things away from any context, because there's a very clear bias against her here.
I'll go through it point by point under the cut
First of all though before digging into this, I want to make it clear she was a 15 year old for the majority of the things this person is talking about. Like just pause for a second and remember she’s a 15 year old victim of abuse. That is something that I think factors into a lot of her behavior! Anyways, I kinda while doing this got into a ranty 'talking at you' format in response to the person who wrote all that, so don't take any of this as me yelling at you who asked the question/you anyone reading this.
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"She always acted entitled" - Saying Steph is entitled is absolutely ridiculous to me. Stephanie grew up with a very unstable childhood due to her dad frequently being in prison and her mom dealing with a drug addiction, living in a lower class part of the city. Tim is entitled. I don’t mean that as like a bad thing about him, but he is based on his living situation, she is not. She has wanted life to be better for herself and her mom, and is determined about that, but she is not and does not act entitled.
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(Secret Origins 80 Page Giant)
"and stubborn" - I will give you stubborn though, that one is true. She’s stubborn as hell! I don’t really see that as a bad thing though, pretty much every bat is stubborn?
"demanding that Batman and Robin accept her untrained ass" - Steph may have been untrained in fighting but she's shown to have exceptional gymnastics skills from the start, and at one point Bruce even says that with the right training she could be as good if not better than Tim (in Robin #88)! So like... her realizing she enjoys trying to be a hero after she tried it out to deal with her personal business, so she looks to the local experts… and is determined about it… how is that a bad thing? It’s also not like she walked up to them and said ‘im perfect as i am let me in’ what she wanted was a chance to be a hero. But she also wasn't even really looking for approval, either, not having Batman's blessing was never going to stop her. ("So excuse me if I don't jump when you bark, Batman." in Robin #16) Later when Bruce does bring her in to train (and she also gets to train with the BoP) she's excited! She’s stubborn about wanting to be in the hero business, but it’s not like she’s unwilling to work for it.
"advocating leaving criminals to die because they 'deserve it'" - She’s a 15 year old who grew up knowing firsthand how dangerous Gotham criminals can be because of her dad, of course off the bat when they’re in a dangerous situation where any of them could die (because that’s the context here, this is in Robin #35 where they’re trapped in some super dangerous snow) she thinks they shouldn’t go back for another criminal who just tried to kill them and should instead save themselves. But she also literally WITHIN THAT SAME ISSUE then says she realized she learned something after listening to Tim and trying to save the guy! In the same issue! Characters in a story aren’t supposed to be perfect from the start… they learn things along the way???
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(Robin #35)
"trying to steal from the shops they just stopped from being burglarized" - She’s 15 and doesn’t have a ton of money. She was gonna take two sodas, and when Tim said not to do it she paid with very little fuss. They stopped people who were robbing the place at gunpoint for prescription drugs. If you can’t understand the difference in severity between those things like… I do not even know where to start. (this situation is in Robin #56 btw)
"forcing physical affection onto Tim despite his visible discomfort and repeated objections (not even stopping when he told her he had a girlfriend)" - This one I will give you because she did cross boundaries with all that! But I do also want to clarify that she didn't start coming onto him until after Tim kissed her first (in Robin #5) while not telling her he had a girlfriend. That doesn’t excuse her later actions but for the first issue that she’s coming onto him from her perspective he expressed interest and she was just returning it! She even specifically says 'Maybe I should pay you back for saving my life the same way you paid me' (in Robin #16) before kissing him. That first time she kissed him unprompted was under essentially the same circumstances he kissed her unprompted, and she literally did not know about Ariana until after the fact. From that point once she knew about Ari she definitely should have backed off and she didn’t, that’s a very fair thing to criticize about her as a character. But Tim lead her on first, and I feel a lot of people like to casually forget that when talking about this situation. The way this is phrased of ‘not even stopping when he told her-‘ implies she was repeatedly doing the bad behavior before he told her, which is not the case. She still did bad things here but don’t misrepresent the situation.
"And lashing out at Tim, her mother, and her classmates in violent fits of anger" - Every comic book character lashes out at other people for the sake of drama like, I dare you to come up with a well-known superhero character who hasn’t done shit like that to a partner/family/friends in a moment of high tension/stress?
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"She treated the girls around her like they were stupid bitches" - frankly this ones a little too vague like, I'm not sure off the top of my head exactly what they're talking about? in that era right around her pregnancy and stuff I really don't recall her being mean with other girls? I could be forgetting something I guess but the closest I can think of is a bit after this period of time when she has the confrontation with Greta in Young Justice but that was Greta attacking her first, not the other way around.
"got insanely jealous if Tim so much as expressed concern about another girl" - Steph getting jealous and thinking Tim was cheating isn’t that crazy when STEPHANIE BASICALLY WAS THE OTHER GIRL DURING TIM’S LAST RELATIONSHIP? Tim has cheated a little bit before! Tim cheated on Ari with both Jubilee from Marvel (during a crossover thing where he even mentions Ari specifically so it’s not like this was out of continuity/a setting she wasn't an issue or something) and also with Steph. While most of the kissing between them was Steph coming onto Tim which I wouldn’t count as cheating on his end, he did still kiss her which I would count. Not to mention that the jealousy thing (I imagine they’re talking about the instance with Star, the girl who taught Tim to skateboard, this arc of stuff starts in Robin #80 and continues for a few issues) is happening during the time she’s dating him while she still doesn’t even know his real name. He literally has a whole other life she doesn’t know about, and is someone who has initiated romantic moments with other girls while in a relationship multiple times before! With that in mind I don’t think a 16 (she's def 16 by this point) year old girl being kinda paranoid about how he interacts with girls he might know in his civilian life is that unreasonable? The later big instance with jealousy is the Darla situation- where Steph sees Darla kiss him and gets mad about it (and doesn’t talk to him about it) and thats what prompts her to become Robin. The important thing to remember about Steph in this time frame is that DC decided she had to die and they wanted to make her Robin first to drum up more attention for that death. They were doing ooc things with her to set those pieces in motion, and that needs to be taken into account. I think her getting upset about seeing something like that isn’t even ooc, but her using it as motivation to become Robin and not even saying anything to him about it is. In the earlier instance where she’s upset/jealous about Star, she does communicate to him what’s going on at least a little bit on the rooftop after they’d saved her. She makes it clear the thing she was upset about is that she feels like she can’t trust him because she doesn’t really know him while he knows everything about her, and that’s why she thinks he’s cheating. Her reaction to the Darla thing is not in line with how earlier in canon Steph would have handled the same situation, because they wanted her to die and needed a way to explain her becoming Robin.
"and expressed that jealousy by accusing him of cheating and throwing things at him" - I just addressed the cheating stuff but the throwing things was fucking slapstick oh my god this is a comic book for kids/teens like. ah yes this is horrible abuse in this little funny montage of how Steph wants him to leave her alone because she’s mad at him and he refuses to give her space
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(Robin #82)
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I don’t think anyone at DC or even in fandom would/should try to argue she’s perfect, because she’s not! And I don’t want her to be because perfect characters are boring. Steph is flawed, Steph has been compared in canon to Robin-era Jason by Cass & Bruce
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(Detective Comics #790)
And I think these highlight some of her very real flaws that are an interesting part of her character. These plus her stubbornness and determination are part of what makes her her.
And for fuck's sake the world was mean to her, and to act like it wasn’t is just blatantly ignoring a lot. A criminal father who made her life really difficult (‘when my dad was mad at me he’d lock me in the closet!’), that time she got kidnapped for two weeks and her mom had left her (a 15 year old) alone at home so long she didn't even find out it happened (in text Steph says Crystal was visiting friends, a lot of people interpret that as her mom possibly being in rehab for her addictions again), that whole thing about how one of her dad’s friends tried to sexually assault her as a child, also just how due to her dad's work sometimes criminals would be living in their house (Literally the fucking Riddler at one point!), the fact that we as an audience watched her get tortured for several days because a plan she tried to enact to prove herself backfired since Batman didn’t trust her with important information (something Selina even calls him out on in her internal narration), like… sorry but in what way is all that not the world being mean to her?
She was Robin, she dated Robin, she likes Eggplant (because purple would've looked stupid), and makes jokes. She’s also impulsive, headstrong and determined, and wants to prove to herself and others that she can be more than just the daughter of a shitty criminal, that she can actually be a force to do good in the world.
She’s a complex character, and nobody is required to like her, but to act like she doesn’t have a single redeeming trait is ridiculous. You could write a paragraph like that with the worst moments of basically any character and make them look like shit if that's what you were setting out to do.
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fighterkimburgess · 3 years ago
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Unintentional Chapter 9 - Infection
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Summary: Kim makes a realisation, Jay starts working on a case outside Intelligence, and a hospital visit for stitches ends with a very different diagnosis. Series Masterlist Here
Words: 3.6k
Warnings: fades to black, mentions of the Infection crossovers, hospital visits, gunshot wounds.
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After everything was said and done, the one thing Kim wished was that she had stayed home that day. That she hadn’t stayed at Jay’s the night before. She should have stayed home, she shouldn’t have gone tailgating. She shouldn’t have been laughing with Natalie at Kevin’s troubles trying to set up the TV for the pregame show. That she hadn’t been there, and that she and Jay hadn’t stayed up late with each other the night before, because she was exhausted and emotionally overwrought even before everything went to hell.
Seeing LaSalle Street empty of people, the city terrified of the bioweapon that could be anywhere at any time was something she’d never forget. She’d never seen Chicago so still. Her city was vibrant, constantly moving and working and things always happening. Except now. Now it was eerie, like a zombie movie.
But she got to work, running searches and the team working together to make sure they could tell exactly what was happening. Universal Precautions were their watchword, gloves on at all times when they were outside the precinct. She and Jay were ships in the night, he’d check on her when he had a minute, mugs of coffee being delivered to the other when they had a moment.
But when he came back, announcing that Hailey had been exposed, Kim had two minutes to check on him.
“You ok?” She handed over a mug of precinct coffee, watching him drink it in a matter of seconds, grimacing at the bitter taste.
“I mean I’m here when Hailey isn’t. She’s in quarantine, they’re running tests. But she’s my partner, I’m worried.”
“I get it, I’d be the same way if it was Kev or Adam.”
Kim hated herself for the thoughts, but she was so incredibly grateful it wasn’t Jay who was in quarantine. Her fear for Hailey was there, but it wasn’t Jay. He was there and safe, and that was the important part for her.
“Yeah…” As he trailed off Kim wrapped her arms around him, taking him into a hug instead of the other way around.
“She’ll be fine. It’s Hailey Upton, we both know that she can’t be kept down.” There were steps out in the bullpen and they separated, Jay’s lips hitting her forehead for the briefest of seconds before they left the appropriate distance between them.
When they entered the boardroom and things were over she could relax at last. It was the best feeling she could have, arriving back to the precinct and knowing she didn’t have to come back for a few days. It had been hectic and nothing that she wanted to deal with. Her job was stressful, that she was used to, but she couldn’t deal with the not knowing, with the worrying about everyone. Every time they left the precinct they were always in danger in some way, but usually it was from guns and things they could at least try to control. A bioweapon that could have attacked any of them? How could she ever tell what was going on? How could she ever have known if she’d been infected? Kim checked her phone, no text from Nicole. She should have expected it, their conversations were getting less and less frequent now Kim was refusing to send as much money to her. It was hard, and she knew Zoe had what she needed, but she couldn’t get pulled into her sister’s issues, as much as she wanted to help.
She was outside, saying goodbye to Vanessa, Platt, and Adam, about to head to the car when Jay caught up with her.
“You ok?”
“Not nearly.” She’d nearly lied, nearly said she was fine. But Jay would have seen right through her. He always did.
“Would you want to come with me?” This time it wasn’t their routine. It wasn’t them hanging out that would turn to sex. She knew that going to Jay’s meant that they’d be intertwined as soon as the door closed, that he’d lift her up and she’d hold onto him and they’d barely let go of each other for the night. Her head was screaming at her to say no. To leave, to spend time alone. That they needed to stop what they were doing because her feelings were getting bigger and scarier. But how could she ever say no when it was what she wanted - what she needed?
“Yeah.” Their fingers intertwined as Jay walked her to his truck, opening the door to let her in. He closed it behind her, getting into the drivers seat and pulling out smoothly. Their fingers intertwined while he drove, and Kim relaxed. It was Jay. She knew his body nearly as well as she knew her own, and she knew his mind, who he was, better than anyone else.
As they pulled into his lot she looked at his unused visitor spot, Jay watching her eyes.
“Maybe we should spray paint your car plate number into it. You’re almost the only one who uses it,” he joked, Kim laughing at him.
“Yeah? What would Will say if he couldn’t park here?”
“He’d complain, but you’re here more than he is.” It gave her an odd sense of pride to know she was there more than his brother. They both nodded to Larry as they went upstairs, fingers still connected. His hand fit perfectly in hers, larger but comforting, his thumb rubbing against the back of her hand.
It didn’t take long before they made it to his apartment, Jay unlocking the door and bringing her inside. But instead of the frantic pace she’d expected once their lips met, they were slow, soft kisses and longing touches. Their clothes were stripped off going down to the bedroom, Jay pulling her shirt over her head, his lips barely unlatching from hers as he had to. He found her collarbone, sucking a small round mark just below it, Kim gasping at the sensation when he nipped down slightly. By the time they made it to his bedroom they were both in underwear, even her bra somewhere along the hallway.
It was constant touching and holding, soft and sweet one round and more needy and wanting the next. They paused to order food, Kim in his boxers and tee, Jay in just boxers getting her to answer the door. When she closed it he was grinning, pulling her onto his lap for them to eat, picking bites out of each other’s boxes of food. Every few minutes he’d press a kiss to her cheek, making them both smile. It was totally different to every experience they’d had together, the relief of still being alive and there helping them both.
Once they finished eating they made out on the couch, Kim straddling Jay as he held her close. Their breath mingling and foreheads touching as they held onto each other, gasping and moaning. She felt his fingers bring her closer, falling over the edge as they kissed. It was intimate and perfect and as they separated Kim felt empty. They cleaned up and went to bed, Jay holding her tight in their usual way of sleeping together, her head on his chest. But it was as Kim closed her eyes she realised exactly what was different.
That wasn’t sex. It wasn’t fucking, it wasn’t friends with benefits, it wasn’t sleeping together. She’d made love with Jay. And it was perfect and the best sex of her life. As soon as that hit her, another realisation rose up in her brain.
She was completely in love with Jay Halstead, and there was no way to stop her feelings now. She should have known that this was a bad idea. She should have stopped it after that night when they’d slept together the first time. Or if not then, before the trial. When she realised she had a crush on him. Because she was lying on the chest of the man she loved, who she knew didn’t love her back.
And it was that realisation that hurt even more than loving him, because he’d been honest with her from the start. He’d told her he loved Hailey. He’d been honest and he’d said it, but Kim’s traitorous heart that always fell for the wrong man had fallen for him now.
She could have gotten up and left. Gotten an uber to the precinct, driven home. Laid in her bed alone with the pillow that smelled like Jay and cried herself to sleep because she was in love with a man who would never love her back.
But instead Kim closed her eyes, forcing the tears at her realisation back. Because she was in Jay’s arms and he was holding her tight, and if she kept them closed and listened to his light snore, she could pretend that he loved her too.
When the morning came she woke up slowly until her memories of the previous night hit her, her eyes flying open and body stiffening.
“I can hear you thinking from here, everything ok?” Jay murmured as his hands ran through her hair, his nails scratching her scalp and making her shiver with pleasure.
“Yeah. Just the last couple of days, it’s been a lot.”
“I get it. I was worried, y’know? It went so quickly, it’s the most stress I think this unit has ever been under. Seeing Hailey in that quarantine tent. I don’t know what I’d have done…” Kim was thankful he trailed off. Talking about Hailey while she was naked in his bed wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
“What do you want to do today? Stay in? Movies? Go to a museum or something?” She wanted to smile, wanted to say yes. But her head was going insane, needing to get out.
“I was gonna head home. I haven’t spent a full night in my bed in a couple of days, I need some time, you know?” She smiled up, Jay leaning down to catch her in a kiss.
“I can come with you if you want? If you don’t want to be alone. Just after everything, y’know. I like knowing you’re safe.”
“How can I not be? I’ve got the entire unit backing me up. I’m always going to be safe with you all.” At her words he pulled her up, Kim straddling him as they kissed, morning breath forgotten in lust.
Instead of going home alone after sex and breakfast, she put a change of clothes from her bag on, going outside with Jay. They ended up at the movies, splitting a popcorn and soda as they watched JoJo Rabbit. It started funny, ending with Jay’s arm around her as she sobbed at the movie. He held onto her, his lips in her hair, and Kim wanted to pretend it was a date, as much as she knew it wasn’t. If he’d wanted it to be he would have said. Their rules, after all. But that she hadn’t said anything niggled at her as she drove home on Sunday morning, finally alone once Jay dropped her to the precinct to get her car after two nights together.
She had to tell Jay. But the thought of losing him? Losing their comfort? Losing the time she spent with him? She couldn’t do it. Call her weak, call her a mess, call her anything. But she couldn’t do it. Because having Jay, even in the little way she had him, meant more to her than she could say.
She spent that day alone, cleaning the apartment and actually cooking lunch with the unspoiled food in the fridge. Her life of takeout was catching up with her, but it was the furthest thing from her mind right then. Everything was spinning around and she didn’t want to think about it.
But standing in line in the grocery store to pay for her few items she made a list of what to do when she got home - grocery shop, clean the bathroom, change her sheets, decide what to do about her feelings for Jay. It was an easy day, really. As much as he was in her thoughts when she put her food away, when she scrubbed the shower and remembered the time he’d dropped to his knees and gone down on her there, making her moan until the hot water ran out.
That night she’d successfully told Jay that she wanted to be alone before work the next day, curling up in bed. But even with the fresh sheets she could smell him in her bed. And as she thought back through the nights before their last case, they’d spent more than half of them together. Milwaukee had been the turning point, but Kim needed to cool it down. It wasn’t fair to either of them to keep spending so much time together.
It cooled down to a night or two a week, blaming work and being so busy. Jay’d had to go undercover to track a case, so spent some nights away for that. She shouldn’t have been so happy about it, shouldn’t have wanted him to be gone while he was. But she missed him.
She missed his grin when she said something particularly funny or insightful. She missed his laugh. She missed his arms around her and his lips on hers and everything else, and god she was so head over heels it should have been embarrassing. But she kept it to herself, unwilling to even voice it. If she said the words out loud, that meant it was real and she couldn’t deny it. Keeping it just in her head meant she could pretend she didn’t feel that way about him. Pretending was fine.
She kept it together in work, even as Voight kept them partnered up while Vanessa was still being trained in. They were about to have a raid, and Jay put her at the front of the spear for it.
“You know what to do, and I’ve the long gun. Makes sense for the person who can move easier to go first.” His faith in her made her nod, taking her position.
“Chicago PD, open the door!” When nothing happened she gave SWAT the nod, watching as the ram opened the door, moving in and clearing the hallway.
She didn’t see the shot coming, felt rather than saw or heard the bullet graze across her arm. It was one shot from her gun and the suspect was down, but she’d lost her balance and fell, hitting her head on the wall on her way down. Kim didn’t think she lost consciousness, but Jay was shaking her, his hand putting pressure on her arm.
“I’m fine. Jay, honestly. It’s a graze.” She tried to stand but he held onto her, stopping her from getting up.
“Not a chance, Kim. That’s a gouge instead of a graze, and you were out for a few seconds. You need to go to Med, we can’t take a chance on a head injury.” He kept pressure on her arm, helping her up and bringing her outside to the awaiting ambulance. Sylvie Brett and Emily Foster were there, and at least she knew them.
“Hey Kim, let’s take a look.” Jay let go of her arm, and Kim could feel the trickle of blood begin again in the few seconds before Sylvie put gauze and pressure on it. “Ok, you need stitches, and I want them to check you out for a concussion, Halstead said you lost consciousness?”
“Just for a couple of seconds, I’m fine.”
“Let us make sure, ok?”
Kim was mortified going in in the ambulance, and being brought by gurney into one of the treatment rooms. Will arrived in to take a look, smiling at her.
“My brother made me come take a look at you, insisted that he wanted someone he trusted. What happened?” Will asked, Kim shaking her head.
“He told me to go in first, I got shot. I think he blames himself, you know what Jay’s like.” Her self deprecating tone made Will laugh, Kim smiling even with the throbbing ache that was radiating down her arm.
“That I do. I thought it was older brothers that were supposed to be the worriers, not the other way round. I need to take some blood, we’ll run the usual tests, and once that’s back I’ll clean and stitch you up. Because you lost consciousness we’ll send you for a CT scan once the tests are back. I want to do a concussion test too.”
Kim followed his instructions, admitting to the headache that was building, and that she didn’t feel great but her stomach hadn’t been good for a few days. Will just nodded, putting stuff on her chart.
“Yeah, it’s a minor concussion. I still want the CT to be sure there’s no bleeding, Jay and SWAT said you fell pretty hard. But once that’s done and you’re stitched up you can go home. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She lay on the bed, eyes closed from the bright lights to stop the mild dizziness that had started. She really wanted food, but her stomach was still in a heap. It made sense, she’d felt like this after her last concussion too. She just really didn’t want to have to deal with it. It took nearly an hour, but Will came back, staring at his iPad.
“Hey, so everything came back and you’ve nothing wrong with you apart from the concussion. Kim, why were you in the field though? You know you’re supposed to be out once you’re pregnant.”
His words cut through Kim, her eyes snapping open and face paling. You’re supposed to be out once you’re pregnant.
She was pregnant. And in the irony of ironies, her child’s uncle, the brother of the only man she’d slept with in almost a year, was telling her that she was pregnant. This was completely fine.
“Will, are you sure? I’m on birth control, I…I can’t be pregnant.” It was impossible. She took her pill almost religiously, every day at noon.
Except for when they were tracking down Sheldon. She was pretty sure she’d been late, or missed at least one. And then she and Jay had spent that weekend together, and she was pretty sure they’d run out of condoms halfway through. But they’d both been tested and come back negative, and she was on the pill so they’d decided screw it. And now she was pregnant with Jay’s baby.
“Positive. Your hCG level is showing at about six weeks, did you not know?” His voice was softer now, the realisation that maybe this wasn’t the good news he thought he’d given her.
“I ran my packs together…I never thought. Ok. This stays between us, right?”
“Of course. Kim I won’t tell anyone, but you should probably tell the father. He’ll want to know. And you need to tell CPD, sooner rather than later. I can’t give you the CT, so if your concussion symptoms worsen come back in immediately. Is there someone you can stay with tonight?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll set an alarm to wake up.”
“You’re staying here if you don’t have someone. I’ll go tell them we’re keeping you in after I stitch you up. I can’t give you the normal painkillers, this will sting.”
The stitches more than stung, Kim wincing at every tug of her sensitive skin. But finally it was done, as neatly as possible even with the lack of painkillers. When Will bandaged it he hooked up a fresh bag of fluids to her IV.
“Do you want me to let any of them in?” He asked, and she wanted to say no. But she needed the comfort Jay would give her.
“Let Jay come in? He’ll want to know I’m fine before he goes home.”
She lay there waiting, Jay coming in at a near run, his brother chasing him down behind him.
“You good? What’s happened?”
How did she begin to tell him?
“I’ll be fine. I’ve got a concussion, so I’m staying here overnight because I live alone. Doctor’s orders.” She half glared at Will, who just shrugged in response.
“It’s the rules, it’s the reason the last time my brother ended up with one I stayed in his spare room. Back when he had a spare room.” Kim would have rolled her eyes if it didn’t hurt her head too much, but Jay smiled.
“Kim, you’ve a spare room, I can stay there. You can get out of here, I’ll bring you home and keep an eye on you. Voight got the shooter to flip anyway, he’s confessed and the ASA is happy, we’re done for the day. Does that satisfy doctor’s orders?” He asked, Will nodding.
“Yeah, if you’re happy to spend time with my idiot brother when you’re not being paid to, Burgess.”
“Wound me, brother.”
They play bickered, and Kim nodded slowly. “Yeah, if you’re happy to do that I’m happy to. As long as it gets me out of here.” Will just nodded in response.
“Let me get your paperwork.”
It took fifteen minutes for her to be released, and Jay brought her straight out to the truck and back to her apartment. Once they got upstairs Kim just wanted her bed, lying on her left so her new stitches didn’t pull. And once she got into bed Jay followed her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close.
“I’m so glad you’re ok. I was really scared when I heard the shot,” he murmured, Kim nuzzling into him carefully.
“I’m here and I’m fine. No harm done.”
She let him hold her, feeling his strong body around her, but her thoughts were consumed with their child. Their baby. Made from him and her and the love she had for Jay couldn’t be extinguished now, because here was the proof that they’d been together. But how could she tell him that it’d happened?
Kim closed her eyes to doze, that could be an issue for tomorrow Kim. Tomorrow Kim could decide if she was even going to keep this child, if she could be a mother. But right now she got to sleep in the man she loved arms, and she was going to take full advantage of that.
Taglist: @kellykidd @pinkwhitebrown @dedlund82 @resanoona @harleyquinnpuddin @brookerz122493 @stephanie708 @mmacke3613 @sylvieshay @sophiatellerrhodes @ossypooh @eviehalstead21 @upsteadlovingheart @loki-halstead @keenmarvellover
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imthepunchlord · 4 years ago
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so I recently read through your "Always a hero"-works. And now I am hooked on LfM. And while Adrien Seems so much different from canon, he really isn't? Marinette not being in his "friends-folder" means he sees no reason believing her over Chloe. (I cannot recall situations like that in canon but when does canon explore sidecharas much other than to akumatize them)
It essentially is canon Adrien, though been focusing on his worst aspects as we’re going into 4 seasons, and those issues have yet to be addressed and I’m a tad salty and LfM is a salt fic response fic. And Adrien for a while will have that salty focus. Largely because
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And yeah, canon won’t put focus on side characters (or even truly focus on our lead herself) as those characters have to circle around the love square, their akumas, or 
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Actually the most we got is Chloe. 
She got focus outside Adrien and the love square. Unfortunately, all her focus was a big waste of our time and essentially another tease of “is she going to be redeemed or not”. Ultimately not and its like, why even bother spending two seasons focusing on will she won’t she be better. That could’ve been shortened down to one. Now she’s a very irritating character and canon wise, I don’t want to see her with another miraculous ever again. 
Which is a shame as I was one of many up to see Chloe redeemed, especially since I’m fed up with the idea that 14 yos girls are irredeemable but Gabriel will probably be redeemed. It shouldn’t be like that for Chloe or Lila. But they want to push that these girls are absolutely evil, more so than the active terrorist who is a neglectful father and by Chat Blanc abusive so... 
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It’s also a big shame cause there was so much potential in the side characters outside love square and Adrien. 
Putting this under cut cause I just go off and it gets lenthy. 
Alya could’ve had an amazing arc if she was a full time hero. Could’ve had a struggle of balancing her hero and civilian lives, as one she is essentially living her dream. Another option is learning, hey, being a hero isn’t all glory and glamour. And depending on the miraculous, there was more to learn, especially since I myself am not big on her having Fox anymore and there are better alternatives, both in matching her but also teaching her things she needs to learn. She could learn to be more of a team player and to be more conscious of her friends as when she gets going in her goals, she can be quite inconsiderate. She can also learn to be more self conscious of her own security as she can rival Adrien in reckless behavior around akumas. And in truth, any miraculous can teach her the importance of secrecy, not Fox exclusively. 
Honestly, Alya and Nino should’ve had their miraculous swapped (most characters actually don’t have a miraculous that suits them in terms of kwami,  powers, or/and symbolism).  Alya at the core is meant to be a supportive friend that is supposed to have her friends’ back, but also prefers to be on the front lines. Turtle would allow this, and teach her to be more aware of the danger she and her friends are in. It won’t essentially stop her reactive behavior, but she can learn to be more smart about it. 
And with Nino, it was always weird to me how popular it was for him to get Turtle. And then it happened in canon and I’m just put off by the assignment. Nino at the core isn’t a character that wants to be on the front lines, but Turtle is a miraculous that is meant to be on the front lines as a protector. Nino is a support role, but not in that sense. Fox would’ve been better as its more designed to help from the shadows. It won’t be as aesthetically pleasing still as Nino is so color coded for Peafowl, but would fit better as it allows Nino to be a background support. It would also help him learn to be more observant and aware of others, and wanting to be a director, you need to learn to put on a good show that draws your audience in. Mirage can give him a chance to truly practice this. Mindful, Fox still isn’t my top pick for Nino (I think Fox would be more fitting with Marinette or Felix), Peafowl still is as that’s what he is coded for, and even canon wise, it would be a more fitting miraculous for him than Turtle. But of what Fu has, Fox would’ve been the better pick for Nino. 
And speaking of Nino, it’s revealed from a tweet from Thomas that Nino had lost an older brother and that his hat belonged to him. That actually gives Nino an emotional tie in to the plot as, while he wants his brother back, he wouldn’t go to the extent that Gabriel is. 
Classmate wise, there’s potential too. 
Origins shows that everyone was afraid of Ivan and assumed the worst of him, he could’ve had an arc of changing those views. Go from being feared to being seen as a hero to trust. A source of protection and security. 
Juleka wants to shine out more. But she struggles in that spotlight and to even be heard. She could have an arc about being heard, and building her confidence. 
Rose is a girl ruled by her heart and is full of love and trust for others. It could be interesting seeing her have a miraculous and struggling with the factor that fighting is involved, but she herself is a pacifist (at least I get that impression). And that can be an interesting thing to explore, as she’s not wrong, but sometimes fighting is the only way. She can also learn to be more conscious that there are those who will take advantage of her and will have active malicious intents to her and others. 
Kim actually states that he wants to be a hero. Not only could him as a hero be fun, it could help him mature as a character and be more serious, as akumas demand focus and be treated as serious. Copycat shows that he can be an observant character, I’d be intrigue to see ML’s residential himbo be surprisingly observant and offer up advise to his friends. 
And of alternative love interests... 
Well, this is more Kagami than Luka, at least in terms of character potential and an arc to see. Though, as of now, if all the predictions are correct SPOILER ALERT, Lies will break up Adrien and Kagami, to me its going to make them another Chloe. More specifically, why did we spend two seasons building up and teasing these alternative love interests only to immediately break them up at the start of s4. 
To me, that sets them up as pointless inclusions who ultimately didn’t bring anything to the narrative. 
Either way, this is about character potentials and I see more potential to explore with Kagami than Luka, and that’s more on the writers and how they handle Luka as most Luka episodes wound up more about Adrien than him. So he is largely a character I just don’t know what to do with. 
Kagami though, she’s an aggressive character that could learn to cool it, she wants to branch out/rebel from her mother, she wants to make friends but struggles with it, and can learn to be more conscious of others and step up into the hero role, of helping others. 
Honestly, working solely off Riptose, she would’ve been a better rival for Adrien than Marinette. Not just as a love rival, which he truly has yet to have, but a rival in general. While she wants to branch out from her mother’s influence, fencing is still her passion and her goal, something Adrien himself lacks. Outside being romantically involved with LB, he has no passion or goal for himself. Kagami can challenge this, why is he here when he doesn’t truly care about fencing? 
And as a romantic rival, she’s one of the few who doesn’t need a miraculous to join fights, she can vigilante to assist LB and pay her back for her helping in cleansing her, but could end showing that she’s a better partner to LB as she takes things more seriously and is more battle smart in fights. Which ultimately would force Adrien to step up his game, take things more seriously, and wise up for throwing a tantrum will only take you so far. Especially when there’s a 3rd party member that’s judging you for your immaturity and shows LB she doesn’t have to bow to his whims just because he’s having a tantrum. 
...You know, maybe Luka then would’ve been better as Marinette’s rival. Not a love rival, Marinette has enough between Chloe, Lila, and Adrien’s fanclub. But more of a rival for Ladybug. Though, it won’t so much be an arc for Luka himself but one for Marinette. If Kagami and Luka are supposed to help Adrien and Marinette grow, then this at least keeps in that theme. 
With the show taking a turn that Marinette is feeling overwhelmed and stressed with her role as a hero and now Guardian, and slightly playing off Origins and her doubts of whether she’s a good hero; Luka could’ve been an interesting character for her to come across and consider. Ultimately, he is set up to be a very solid hero: he is calm, mature, shown to be a planner, and considerate and aware of others. Only thing he has against him is that he’s a removed character and is mostly seen sitting on that boat. 
Romance between them I’d leave as optional, but it could be intriguing to see Marinette considering the possibility of retiring as Ladybug and passing it on to Luka so she can fully embrace her Guardian duties and not be so overwhelmed. And in general, it is a big wonder, who would take over as the Ladybug if Marinette has to leave and not come back, or that she can’t balance between being a hero and being the Guardian (and in truth, Tikki is no longer a good kwami for Marinette to have as she’s developing an Atlas complex through her and she hasn’t been helpful as a guide and adviser in a long time). 
Now the show writers would butcher this, but it could’ve been interesting to see. Maybe Luka could’ve been a means to help her learn to manage things better if she has to stay LB and Guardian. 
But yeah, it’s a shame that this show won’t delve past the LS which has long since gotten stale and quite toxic. There’s a lot of potential, but they won’t touch it. Won’t care to. 
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lemonpeter · 4 years ago
Text
Desperate
@preciouspeterbparker is an enabler 💕 and I love her for it. She sent me a concept for my au I’d explained a little while before and I was OBSESSED, so I’m sure hoping I did it justice 💕
Warnings: the whole thing is extremely nff, a/b/o, both alpha and omega Peter (I explain it here), alpha Tony, very brief bottom Tony (like one paragraph right at the beginning and Peter thinking about it), s*x toy use god I hope this shows up in the tags
@serrabloodsong
————
“Come on, baby, give it to me,” Tony panted, pressing his hips back until they were flush against Peter’s.
Peter groaned, holding onto his alpha’s hips as he kept fucking forward. He’d never felt anything so incredible, addicted to the vice-like grip of Tony’s ass. It was tight and slick and so different than the stimulation he got from just being fucked.
“I’m so close, Tony.” A soft whine escaped his throat as his hips lost their rhythm. He could feel the tension in his belly about to snap as he approached his high.
His eyes snapped open as soon as he finished, a weak moan leaving him. His hips stuttered forward as he spilled across the pillow that was tucked between his legs. His hand dropped between his legs to squeeze at his knot, now fully grown, the sensation causing his body to jolt and another spurt of cum to leak onto the pillow.
Once he had completely ridden out his high, he went lax against the bed. He was slightly sore from the amount of tension his body had held, but he’d heal. He was more concerned about the dream.
It was the fifth one that week.
Sure, it wasn’t abnormal for him to have wet dreams. Even with all the sex he had, his drive was so high that he was often waking up to slick-soaked sheets and a bit of a wet patch on the blanket.
No, the concerning part was how he was on top in every dream. And how he woke up with a popped knot.
He was a genetic miracle, having presented with characteristics of both an alpha and omega. But since he was primarily omega, it was extremely rare for him to knot anything, or even have the urge to. He always bottomed with Tony and that made him happy. He didn’t need anything else.
But his alpha side seemed to want to be brought to light suddenly. He’d been dreaming about fucking his alpha, something he’d never seriously considered before. And he woke up every morning with his knot buried in a pillow he’d been fucking unconsciously.
He didn’t know what to do.
There was no way that he could ask Tony about anything like that. For the most part they ignored his differences, especially during sex. As far as either of them were concerned he was strictly omega during those times. So it would have been odd to bring up the alpha bottoming occasionally.
And there was also the issue of pain. Alphas weren’t designed to take a knot. And it was pretty impossible without a ton of prep, which Peter was fairly sure neither of them completely knew what to do. There was no way he would hurt Tony ever. So he figured it was best to just...leave it.
Which worked...for about a week.
He kept having the dreams, but luckily Tony left for work before Peter got up, so he never saw his partner’s predicament. Peter let himself ride out the high every morning and then hid the evidence by quickly tossing everything into the washer.
It was easy enough to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was happening. He dealt with it first thing in the morning and then got on with his day.
But then the thoughts started bleeding into his conscious mind.
He’d eat lunch with Tony when he had a break and find himself fantasizing about what it would be like to have the alpha bent over the table for him. His mind would conjure up images of Tony’s body eagerly taking his cock. Then his knot after.
Peter imagined watching in fascination and pride as his cum dripped from the alpha’s puffy hole after they were done.
His cheeks burned as the alpha brought up how distracted he seemed. “What? Oh, it’s nothing. Just thinking about...class.” Like his daily physics work would cause him to space out and drool like that.
But Tony didn’t argue, just shrugging off the answer with an, “Alright, honey.”
The excuses and zoning out were becoming all too common for Peter.
He knew that he needed to find a solution. It wasn’t going to work if he kept up how he was going.
Since he was the only person with his condition (that he was aware of), it wasn’t like he could just hop on Google and look up a solution to his highly specific problem. But maybe he could figure out smaller questions and find solutions for those instead of the big picture.
And that was how he found himself in front of his computer, staring at the search bar. In incognito mode, of course. He wouldn’t be able to look Tony in the eye if these searches were discovered.
He wasn’t quite sure where to start. The entire thing felt a bit overwhelming to him, especially since he couldn’t just find an answer for the entire thing. He had to break it up and he didn’t quite know how to.
So he tried to start simple.
‘alpha wet dream fix’
The only results he got there were articles about why wet dreams happen and instructing to just have more sexual release in the day to day life. Which he already got, he knew that wasn’t the issue.
On to the next search.
‘male omega want to top’
All that came up was porn. Pages and pages of porn.
He clicked on one link, heart pounding as he watched the small omega in the video fucking his alpha hard and fast. The alpha encouraged him the whole time, spouting words of encouragement in between sounds of obvious pleasure.
It was incredibly hot. But not exactly what he was looking for.
‘Knotting in sleep’
He got more porn, somnophilia this time. He tried to reword his search, looking into ‘alpha alone sleep knotting’.
Some more porn, but then he thought maybe he saw a search that could be helpful. His eyes skimmed over the article after he clicked on it.
“‘Sometimes an alpha will involuntarily knot during sleep, most often...if they haven’t had stimulation regularly.’” Peter read out loud, fingers tapping against his temple.
He didn’t get it. Well, he got it. But it didn’t make any sense.
He hadn’t done anything but bottom for years. And he was completely okay with it. The alpha urges hadn’t been there.
But suddenly they were. And he absolutely couldn’t figure out why.
His fingers drummed against his desk as he tried to figure out what to do next. Of course, he didn’t figure that there was any way he’d get a straight answer for what was going on with him. It was just like everything else in his life, a lot of questions with no real answers.
His eyes drifted over the search results again and he hummed as he reached the ‘also asked’ questions.
“‘How can a single alpha safely knot?’” He read off, clicking to expand the tab until the associated link came up. He clicked it as well, eyebrows raised.
There wasn’t much he actually knew about the alpha biology. Even after presenting, he figured it wouldn’t matter since he was mainly omega anyways. It had never occurred to him that maybe knotting outside of a confined environment wouldn’t be safe.
Reading over the Q&A the link brought him to, he realized that he was lucky he hadn’t been hurt by his nightly activities. Even if none of it had been on purpose.
Luckily, he was also supplied with solutions.
“A toy?” Peter mumbled. The only toy he’d ever owned was a dildo with a fake knot on it. And as far as he knew Tony didn’t own anything like what he was seeing in the pictures.
But he didn’t have another choice, really. The sleeve would provide him with a chance to test out knotting on his own and was a safe way to do it.
So he clicked over to another tab, looking up alpha-specific sex toys. And there were...a lot of results.
The alpha part of his brain seemed to switch on, immediately thinking of how each toy would feel on him and which would be best. He scrolled through pages, flipped between stores, all to end up ordering just one. A basic fleshlight that he hoped would do the job. It claimed to be for knotting as well, so he had hope that it would be good.
As he added a few different types of synthetic slick to his cart, he prayed that Tony didn’t look too closely at how he was spending money. But he knew it was all going to come out to a decent sum.
He’d deal with that when he came to it.
After confirming all of the orders, he stood up from the desk and headed back to the bedroom. He grabbed his tablet on the way, determined to continue his research. There had to be some explanation for his sudden urges.
He just had to put in the effort to figure out what it was.
***
Despite how he’d read it was dangerous, his body refused to stop its morning wake up call of an unbelievable orgasm and a fully swollen knot.
He still seemed safe, so he didn’t stress about it too much. It just gave him a bit more pause every time it happened.
And the stimulation felt so good, he couldn’t help but want it to continue on some level. But as always, the knot shrunk again once he had come down from his high and he couldn’t seem to figure out a way to get it back. The only time he was able to knot was from those dreams, his intense fantasies of fucking his alpha.
Great.
His mind was almost constantly on the concept now. He couldn’t stop thinking about it no matter how hard he tried. All of his daydreams became about topping Tony in various positions and locations. Then the daydreams snuck into his normal thoughts again. And every moment felt like one long daydream.
Only his alpha wasn’t really part of any of it, since Peter still hadn’t told him. And he didn’t plan on doing so.
It definitely made things harder. But he didn’t want to freak Tony out by revealing how needy his alpha side was getting or make him feel guilty for not wanting to bottom.
He could take care of himself. That would be alright.
***
“Pete, a package came for you,” Tony called, getting ready to leave back for work after his lunch break. “Friday just informed me that it’s at the front desk downstairs, so you can go get that.” He didn’t ask what it was, too preoccupied by thoughts of work and all he had to get done.
Which was perfectly fine with Peter.
He looked up as Tony talked, eyes widening slightly. It had to have been his toy (and the other things purchased with it.) He didn’t have a habit of purchasing much, so it had to be that if it came specifically for him.
As soon as the alpha had left, he raced downstairs to get the package. And he was ripping into the box without shame instantly when he was upstairs again.
He so badly wanted to try it out. He was desperate to knot, needing to feel how good things could be.
Peter looked over the toy, almost fascinated as he studied it. It was just like it had been in the picture, a smooth plastic body covering a soft silicone sleeve. The entrance looked almost disturbingly like his own pussy, soft pink-flushed lips spread slightly around a small hole.
He could feel himself slicking just from looking at it. And his cock was getting interested as well, slowly starting to chub up in his soft sweatpants.
There was no way he wanted to wait any longer. He was desperate to knot, his alpha side frustrated but calming gradually at the promise of knotting the toy. So he tossed the box in the trash, gathered the lube, and carried everything to the bedroom.
Once he was there, he set everything on the bed while he slowly stripped. His boxers were tossed into the hamper, already soaked through with slick. He was so easily worked up it was almost embarrassing.
But he didn’t dwell on it, sitting on the bed once he was completely bare. The bottles of lube sat next to the sleeve, seemingly begging to be picked up.
He grabbed one, reading the label. It claimed to be the best in the business, bragging about its slide. And that was good enough for Peter. He tore the packaging off and clicked the top open.
While he poured the liquid over his fingers, he looked at the toy again. “How am I doing this?” He wondered out loud, picking it up with his clean hand.
He got an idea, sliding his wet fingers over the lips of the entrance. And his cock gave a twitch as he looked at it.
It looked good, but he knew just a little lube wouldn’t be enough. So he grabbed the bottle again, pouring some of the fake slick directly into the sleeve.
And oh, it looked incredible.
It was a vulgar sight, slick dripping from the pussy. And he couldn’t wait to fuck it.
He set the bottle of lube to the side, laying on his back as he figured out what he was going to do. It seemed like a good start to just...fuck up into the toy while lying on his back. It would be a comfortable enough position to lay in when- well, if he knotted it. But he was pretty sure he’d be able to.
His hand wrapped around his cock, slowly stroking it a couple times before letting go again. He was definitely hard, erection laying heavy against his belly. But his knot stayed small, barely visible at the base.
He knew that would change soon.
He held onto his cock, positioning the toy just above it in order to start.
When he slowly started sinking the sleeve over him, he wondered why he hadn’t considered getting one sooner. It was so tight and wet and-
Completely overwhelming.
The toy was only halfway down his cock before his muscles were tensing and he was spilling into it. Just like that. No buildup, no knot, not even any actual fucking.
“Fuck, oh- shit,” he breathed, cheeks burning in embarrassment. Thank god no one was there to see him. He’d just cum like a virgin, despite being nowhere close.
Although...technically he was one when it came to topping. He hadn’t thought about that.
He pulled the sleeve off again, face still bright red. “I...wow. I didn’t expect that,” he whispered into the silent room.
The first try definitely hadn’t gone how he expected it to. But he was reminded that he had an incredibly short recovery period. Evident from how his cock had never gone fully soft and was already beginning to fill out again.
So he didn’t waste any time before he was slipping the toy onto him again, making sure to take a long pause to make sure he was under control before moving it any.
He came embarrassingly fast a few more times before he was able to actually start fucking it. And every single time his knot stayed uninvolved. No matter how good it felt to fuck into the faux pussy, he would have an incredible orgasm but his knot refused to grow.
He was lost in the pleasure and frustration as he kept going, continuing to work himself up and fuck the toy. It lasted longer every time, although he lost count of the rounds he’d done.
Probably somewhere around...five? Six? He had no idea. The first few had been so short they barely counted in his mind.
But he was finally in the best one, it felt like. It was lasting longer than the rest and if he focused hard enough it was like he could feel a faint tingling in his knot.
His high was approaching quickly and he knew it, nearly praying that his knot would finally pop this time.
But he got distracted for just a moment when he heard something.
Peter froze momentarily as he heard the bedroom door creaking open, but he didn’t keep still for long. Even if he had been caught, he needed to cum. Obviously he’d been found out anyways, he might as well finish what he was doing.
How was Tony home already? It had only been…
He glanced to the alarm clock quickly, groaning as he saw the time. He’d been going for hours. How had he fucked the day away like that?
And it was, indeed, time for Tony to be home.
“Honey?” The alpha asked curiously, stepping inside the room and looking right at the bed. He raised his eyebrows as he noticed what he was looking at, however. The sight before him definitely wasn’t what he’d expected.
Peter looked at him, a guilty look flashing over his face briefly before changing to one of pleasure again. “Tony,” he moaned. “I- oh, fuck, please.”
Tony didn’t know what he was begging for. Or maybe he did, but he was too stunned to figure it out. “Peter….” He’d never seen his partner like this.
But he didn’t hate it.
He watched how Peter’s hips kept thrusting frantically, fucking into a toy so quickly his motions were little more than a blur. And his words were flooding out before he could even think about it. “That’s it, baby. Come on, you can do it. You need to cum? Go ahead, baby. You’re doing so well.”
A choked moan pulled itself from Peter’s throat at the encouragement. And it was just what he needed to reach another high.
He twitched forward, grinding against the toy as he spilled into it. Cum dripped out of the sides, his loads still nearly full even after his fucking-marathon. “Fuck, Tony,” he whimpered, chest heaving with his breaths.
He hadn’t wanted to tell his alpha what was going on with him. But the look in Tony’s eyes made him think that maybe it would have been okay.
In his panic and high he hadn’t even initially noticed that he still hadn’t popped his knot. But he realized it once he was immediately able to pull out of the toy to move closer to the alpha who was still standing at the door.
“Tony, I can explain,” he said weakly.
The alpha held up a hand, making the other man whimper. But he quickly elaborated. “You don’t have to. We can talk later. For now...that looked amazing, baby. Did you have fun?”
Peter started nodding, but ended up whining softly.
Tony moved to the bed, looking at the toy. It shouldn’t have looked as appealing as it did to him. It wasn’t much, just smooth plastic and then soft silicone in a flesh tone that looked vaguely like an omega’s pussy. But what made it was the obscene amount of cum leaking from it. And the knowledge that all of it had come from his darling partner. “Certainly looks like you had fun,” he mused.
“I did...just…” Peter sighed, dropping his eyes to look at his cock. It was half-hard still, but that wasn’t what he was focused on. His eyes were on the slight bump at the base that stayed small despite how hard he was trying to make it swell. “Oh, Tony.” He sighed again, the sound heavier this time.
“Talk to me,” the alpha encouraged, moving to sit down on the bed. “What’s up? Wasn’t it...fulfilling?”
A weak laugh was pulled from the younger man. “Not exactly.” He crawled to the alpha, leaning against him. “I know you said I don’t have to explain, but I do.” He took a deep breath.
Tony nodded, watching him intently. “Okay.”
“You know how I’m...mixed up. Both omega and alpha.”
“Of course.” They didn’t talk about it much, but that didn’t mean that he’d forgotten. He would have been a pretty bad partner if he forgot about something like that.
“Well, I’ve always felt more omega. You know that. That hasn’t changed. But lately things have been...weird,” he said slowly.
“Okay...weird how?”
Peter looked down again. “I’ve been having these...dreams.” Oh, Tony was going to hate him. Shame him. Or something.
“Alright...dreams, weird, I’m following.”
“I keep dreaming about being on top. Uh, giving. During sex.” His cheeks burned. No matter how long he was sexually active, no matter how much they did, he’d always get flustered somehow. “And a big thing in the dreams is...knotting you.”
Tony nodded, not taking his eyes off of his partner. “And is that something you want?”
“No! I mean…yes? I don’t know. I’ve always been happy with the way we did things. And I’m still happy with it. I just.” He made a frustrated noise. “I feel like something is missing. Especially since I keep waking up with a popped knot but I can’t seem to get it any other time.”
“So that’s the reason for the toy,” the alpha murmured, looking at it. “And you haven’t been able to knot it?”
“No,” Peter whined. “I’ve been at it all day. It feels good, but there’s just something missing. I want to knot it.”
“You want to knot it or you want to knot me?” Tony asked, watching him. He cocked his head to the side slightly as he waited for an answer, eyes trailing over his partner’s body.
Peter wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Sure, in his dreams he was on top. The one in control. But he didn’t really want that. He liked the way that he and Tony did things, with the full-alpha on top. Peter liked receiving. He just wanted to knot, no matter how he needed to do it. “The...the toy. I think.”
Tony nodded, picking it up. His fingers swiped over the entrance of it quickly, gathering up a bit of the cum that had leaked out. He pressed his fingers to Peter’s lips, smirking slightly as the young man shivered before taking the digits into his mouth. “In that case, I have a proposal. You want to hear it?”
Peter nodded, still suckling on the fingers gently.
“Okay. Well, you said you’re happy with how we do things, right? So I say we keep doing them. But you can try something new.” He held up the toy again, watching Peter’s reactions. “I’ll fuck you like normal. And you can fuck this. And we can see if that changes anything.”
The younger man moaned around Tony’s fingers, nodding. He hadn’t thought of that, but it sounded wonderful.
Tony grinned at him, slowly pulling his fingers away. “In that case, do you think you have one more round in you, honey?” His hand dipped between his partner’s legs, fingers finding his entrance and spreading the lips slightly. “You’re absolutely soaked, baby. You’ve been neglecting this pretty pussy, haven’t you?” He clicked his tongue. “I’ll have to change that.”
Peter moaned again, clenching down around nothing as he felt the tips of the alpha’s fingers tracing his entrance. “Please. I want this, please. I can go one more time.” He was tired, but he was determined he could do this.
“Okay, baby. Let’s figure out how we need to do this.”
Tony hummed softly, pulling away just to assess the situation. There were a couple ways that he figured things would work out, but only one really stood out to him.
“Let’s see if this will work,” he mused. “Lay on your back, Pete.” He watched as the man did as he asked, nodding. “Good boy. Now….” he moved between his legs, positioning himself like he was going to fuck him. “Does this seem alright?”
Peter nodded quickly, breathing hard. He looked being able to watch his alpha while he was fucked. It was one of his favorite positions. But…
Before Peter could voice his concerns, Tony was grabbing the fleshlight and putting it in his hands. “So while I fuck you, you can fuck up into this. Sound okay?”
His cheeks burned as he took the toy, but he nodded. “Yeah. I can do that.”
“Perfect,” Tony murmured. “Now, want to get started?”
They both couldn’t wait any longer.
Peter nodded, the tip of his cock rubbing against the already-slick entrance of the toy. There was still cum from his previous play dripping out, but he made no move to clean it up. He figured that it would only help.
Tony hummed, looking over him. He unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down just enough to free his throbbing cock. No extra stimulation needed, just watching and talking to Peter was enough. Plus the promise of what was about to happen.
“Wow,” Peter whispered, eyes wide. He never got over Tony’s size. And he knew from experience how good all of it felt. He couldn’t wait to take it again.
“I’m sure you’re already wet enough, honey,” the alpha mused, his fingers sliding against Peter’s entrance once more. “I know you need to be filled….” he pushed two fingers inside up to the second knuckle. “So open for me already.”
Peter cried out, clenching down around the fingers. “Please, Tony. I need- fuck, I need you to fuck me already.” He didn’t want to be teased and fingered slowly. He wanted to get to the main event.
“Needy thing,” Tony commented, pulling his fingers out quickly. “But I’ll give you what you want. Just don’t forget that you’re supposed to be fucking that while I’m fucking you.” He tapped the toy.
“Of course,” Peter told him, the tip of his cock still poised to push into it as soon as things started.
“Okay, good boy,” the alpha praised gently. He rubbed the tip of his cock against Peter’s hole, watching how it fluttered in anticipation of what was to come.
He just couldn’t help himself.
He started pushing in slowly, a low groan building in his chest. No matter how much they had sex, Peter was always so perfectly tight. It was incredible every single time.
And at the same time, Peter sunk the toy onto his own cock with a moan. The dual sensations were incredible, better than he ever could have imagined. He felt Tony filling his pussy while his toy squeezed around him deliciously.
Just the initial feeling was almost enough to push him to the edge again. But he managed to calm himself down.
Tony took a shaky breath, taking a moment to get used to the tightness around his cock. It was intense, Peter obviously had only been focusing on his own cock. So his pussy was still incredibly tight, and constantly clenching down as he got used to the different sensations.
The alpha was pretty sure that neither of them would be lasting very long. But he knew it wouldn’t bother him. And it probably wouldn’t bother Peter either.
“Ready for me to move?” He asked gently, holding onto his partner’s hips carefully. He saw the look on Peter’s face and laughed softly. “Oh, I know. I mean, I can only imagine how intense things are for you. But they feel extra intense today even just like this.”
Peter smiled a little, nodding. He looked so fucked out already. “Yeah. I’m ready, alpha.”
Tony began moving his hips, just slowly at first. He didn’t want to completely overwhelm either of them. “Tell me how it feels, baby. Fucking your little toy pussy while I fuck you.”
“It-it feels really good,” the younger man whispered. That was a severe understatement, but he found it hard to form words. His hips thrust up into the toy as Tony fucked into him at the same time. Everything was sensitive and pleasurable and perfect.
“Just good?”
Peter whined. “It’s amazing, but- oh, god,” he moaned. His eyes rolled back as Tony started moving faster already. “I’ve never felt so…so good.”
Tony hummed, biting his lip as he kept his thrusts at an even pace. “Really? Hmm, let’s see if we can make it even better….”
“Wha- oh, fuck!” Peter groaned, hips jerking faster as he felt Tony’s fingers brushing over his left nipple. His nipples were always extra sensitive, but adding it to everything he was already feeling was intense. “Don’t!”
“Don’t? You want me to stop?” The alpha grinned at him, moving his hand lower again to rest on his hip. He moaned softly as he watched his partner fuck faster into the toy.
“Just stop that,” Peter instructed. “I don’t- god, don’t want to cum too fast. And it’s already...I already feel….”
Tony hummed, nodding. He couldn’t deny that he already felt the distinct pressure building as well. “It’s okay, baby. But I’ll stop.” Both of his hands stayed on Peter’s hips.
“Thank you.” Peter held onto the sheets with one hand, the other working to quickly slide the sleeve over his cock as he fucked it. His grip tightened on both things and he felt the plastic creaking under his fingertips.
They kept going, bodies in sync. Tony gazed down at his partner, eyes occasionally dropping down to watch everything else going on. But he loved to just watch the pleasured faces that Peter made.
And the other man was feeling nothing but pleasure. He’d held out as long as he possibly could and knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold off the high that was building. “Tony….” He moaned, movement becoming jerkier and less measured. “I’m- fuck, I’m gonna cum, alpha!”
“Then cum for me, baby, let go. This will be the best one,” Tony encouraged, not stopping his movements. He knew that he wasn’t far behind at all.
Peter whimpered, hardly doing anything more than just humping up into the toy now. But- “Tony! Fuck, yes,” he moaned louder, watching as his knot swelled rapidly.
Exactly what he’d been hoping for.
He thrust weakly, forcing his knot into the tight sleeve and he was done. His vision whited out as he came, hips bucking wildly. “Tony!” He cried out, tears leaking from his eyes at the intensity of his orgasm. And it seemed to last forever, the tightness of the toy milking his knot in a way he didn’t know was possible.
His vision blurred again and then he was out, going limp against the bed.
“Shit,” Tony swore, immediately pulling out despite how incredibly close he was. He wouldn’t continue anything without knowing Peter was okay.
It took only a few seconds for him to rouse again, blinking dazedly. “Did I just- oh my god.” He covered his face with one hand. “Please tell me that didn’t just happen.
Tony still looked a little concerned, but laughed weakly. “Which part? God, baby, that must have been good.”
“It was amazing.” And he was still riding out aftershocks. “But...that was embarrassing,” he mumbled. Then he noticed that Tony was no longer inside him and looked painfully hard. “Alpha! I didn’t mean to make you stop.” He wiggled slightly. “It’s okay, I’m okay now. Keep going.”
The alpha chuckled a little, more relaxed. “You’re something else, you know that?” He repositioned himself properly again, tip pressed against Peter’s now-loose pussy. “You’re sure?”
“So sure.”
Peter had gotten what he’d wanted. So he’d be happy to help his alpha.
He finally popped his knot, feeling more fulfilled than he had since the dreams started. And he’d been able to be with Tony to make it happen.
They’d have to do that more often. Although he was sure that neither of them would complain.
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cathyparrlyn · 4 years ago
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A warning to Tumblr and Discord users in the Six and WATT fandoms
Tw for stalking, guilt tripping, deception, suicide, death threats, and hate anons.
In the beginning of summer, there was an incident that showed the true colors of some of my former friends, especially one who has proven themself to be hostile and dangerous multiple times. I stayed quiet about this for a while as I wanted to forget the drama and the pain they caused me and my friends, but recently I’ve found out that they have continued to hurt many of my friends, claim a minor who was a victim of the situation had attacked them, and more. Because of such dangers, and because these people are present in both the Six and WATT fandoms, my friends and I found it necessary that we share this story as a warning to others.
On May 11, the Parrlyn Discord server was created. I, being an acquaintance of the server owner, was one of the server’s mods who would talk to everyone and work with the owner to make it a safer place. This server ended up being how I first became close with the person who caused so much drama: @Chess-exists (Chess).
Chess and I would talk on both the Parrlyn server and dms, and I soon joined other servers at their request. We considered each other friends, but they also set off many red flags. Some of the major of these being Chess lying about hacking into the Sixcord and deleting the server because “all the mods hated them”, claiming they can cry when ready and wanting to pretend someone on the Parrlyn server was dead to prank another person on the server.
In mid-June the Parrlyn Discord faced the 3rd big incident that has happened on the server. Someone jokingly entered under Moan-Jeutas’s (Lizzie’s) username, said “I’m 12, don’t attack me !!” and left when they noticed people were beginning to panic.
I was offline whilst this happened, and when I came online shortly afterward I found a few people panicked. Instantly, I was asked by multiple people to call them. I texted some of them while going on call with a friend of mine who is a young minor, @lakes-other-sixes (aka Lake), who was crying. I was then informed by Lake that they knew who had entered the server with Lizzie’s username. At the same time, a friend outside of the server had confessed to me through DM about being behind the Lizzie account along with one other person. They profusely apologized and explained what had happened.
Although my friend had made a mistake, I would like to give context of why they ever thought of the joke in the first place. When they were temporarily on the Parrlyn Discord, it was just starting out, with about ten people including us and nobody who had admitted to being triggered by Lizzie’s writing.
This friend and I constantly talked about Parrlyn fics together, and one of the things we mentioned was Lizzie’s Carrie AU and how I would have liked to talk to her about it but didn’t want to bother her as she disliked the ship. The friend and I had both been going through personal issues at the time, I will openly state that mine was how my uncle died not even two weeks before this happened, and they thought a small joke could cheer us both up.
So this friend and another person thought it would only be an innocent inside joke between friends to pop on the server and mess with me and some other friends. They had no idea how big the server was or that people were triggered by Lizzie and left immediately.
The joke was wrong, and we all have acknowledged that. They both deeply apologized for it to me and some others. They wanted to fix things with the server, but there was one problem; our friend Lake knew who they were.
Lake is an extremely sweet kid. They were never a part of the joke, but were extremely scared that if the people’s names were released then everyone on the server would hate them. It was to the point that they were crying on the phone to me for about half an hour because of the situation. Because of this, me and the friends figured it would be best to apologize anonymously; not for their sake, but for the others who were scared. So I talked with the server owner and made an announcement sending an apology from them through me.
This is just our side, and I know some will disagree with the decision we made, but I was informed that someone had talked to Lizzie about it and that she knew about the situation and the anonymous apology. We kept it anonymous because we would never want to put any kid into the panicked state that Lake was in, and I will take any responsibility if it means I kept a kid from anymore serious panic. I have also apologized to Lizzie formally, as well as getting consent from her to use her name in this post and offering to answer any questions she had, including giving her the names of the people behind the account if she wanted them.
This mistake from my friends, which they had apologised for, was what led to Chess showing their true colours.
A few minutes after I posted the apology announcement, I was instantly added to a separate group chat titled “Smack a bitch” where Chess and their friend, Aine, had requested the name of my friend behind the account. This chat was highly inappropriate and hinted they would possibly send them hate and I didn’t approve of that, so I said no and left. I then later got a message from Lake that Chess was now interrogating them to spill who was behind the account.
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Not only had this bothered me since Lake was young and was open about their anxiety, but also nobody but me and Lake’s former partner had known that they knew who was behind the fake account. They were extremely nervous and asked for help and I said I would talk to Chess for them since it made them uncomfortable.
When I went to talk to Chess, I told them to stop interrogating Lake because this was giving people more stress and I wouldn’t talk to them if they continued. They refused and asked me to “back the fuck up”.
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After this conversation, I thought it was over. That was until 3 days later when one of my friends behind the account got hateful anons and death threats over the situation.
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These anons were alarming, so I went to talk to the server owner about them. After a long discussion, the server owner confessed to Chess telling them everything they had done to find my friend.
This next part might be triggering for some, just a warning about stalking. (Ends after the screenshot)
Chess had confessed to stalking both my Instagram and Tumblr by going through them and making a suspect list of mutuals I interacted with so that they could interrogate Lake, a 14 year old, into saying who was behind the account.
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(Note, none of the people mentioned here were either of the people behind the account)
After I sent the message telling them to stop the interrogation, Chess made Lake swear not to tell me anything else, got them and Aine on voice call, and guilt tripped them into feeling forced to agree to be interrogated on who the person was.
After Chess had successfully got the name of one of the people behind the fake account from Lake, they told the server owner and a few others the name of the person. One of whom was @herequeerandreadytokickass (Lex). Chess had also confessed to Lex about wanting to send anons to the person behind the account whose name they had found out. Lex had not only told me this on call, but also told me that the “friend” Chess was referring to in the hateful anons was me.
Utterly disgusted by their actions towards the situation, I blocked Chess. That was it. I explained to my friends why I blocked them and told them that they could still be friends with Chess, and I left the Parrlyn server to avoid drama since I figured Chess needed it more than me and wouldn’t hurt anyone else after this.
Chess was very upset that I blocked them without talking to them, and I refused to unblock them since they made me uncomfortable by this point. They then told a few friends they were framed for the anons even after previous confessions that they had sent them, and the fact that the anons only pointed to them.
One of the people Chess talked to was Lake, who then tried to find who sent the anons. After I found this out, I called Lake and we both shared our sides of the story. This is when Lake told me how Chess guilt tripped them, but also figured out that Chess had lied to them about how they found out Lake knew. Chess had blamed it on me telling someone, when Lake’s former partner confessed to telling Chess that Lake knew.
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This new information caused Lake to become extremely panicked. They were already dealing with stress and just found out they had played a small part in their friend getting sent anon hate and death threats. Chess lying had triggered them more. I talked to Lake and helped them calm down and they decided to block Chess as well.
Chess didn’t like this. They immediately began to spam Lake’s user on a server and also had three friends ask them to unblock Chess.
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Not only was this disrespecting Lake’s mental health and decision, but one of the people who dmed Lake had angrily blown up at them. This was @flat-dr-pepper-chasers (Robbie).
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By blowing up on Lake, who was dragged into this situation and emotionally manipulated, Robbie caused Lake to panic again.
Soon after this, I got notified that Chess was so mad at Lake, that they deleted a server collaborative fanfic because it was Lake’s “pride and joy”.
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Lake had now been through so much and they didn’t tell me anything until it was necessary. I had received all this info from another source because I was an ex-mod of the server and a person involved in the incident, but Chess began to blame Lake and continued to hate them.
I couldn’t take it anymore when I found out that Chess, a 16 year old, deleted the fic to spite Lake, a 14 year old who they had until very recently viewed as a friend, when Lake didn’t do anything. I knew I couldn’t let this slide or more people would get hurt, so I rejoined the server as a mod again, kicked Chess and explained the situation so everyone knew what was going on.
Do to a limit on screenshots the next part of the post will be reblogged by me, might take a second though to add in the screenshots.
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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years ago
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handmaid - 08
PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader
WARNINGS: age gap, mentions of violence
A/N: hope you enjoy this chapter xxx
NEXT CHAPTER
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The weather was chilly as they landed in mid French night. Y/N was the first one out the plane, feeling the wind hit her naked arms due to the short sleeved dress. Sebastian, on the other hand, was the first one out of the airport, excusing himself due to business which Gwen gave little care to. In all honesty, Y/N thought she was particularly fine with the idea of the only person powerful enough to order her around being as far as possible. After all, Paris is the city of love, endless possibilities in Gwen’s mindset.
They were driven to the hotel, the landscape from the nightly Paris making Y/N want to rush out the moving car and just sit down in the grass looking at the night sky. However, Gwen was tired and Y/N knew better not to argue. She would never win in an argument with Gwen, besides, she knew exactly how the heiress acted whenever she got her way. Thinking about it, maybe only once in their whole life had Y/N won an argument with her and that had been when she was 5 and not really understanding of her role in the family. Y/N was a handmaid, the literal definition of handmaid is a female servant so why should she put in danger her own survival? If Gwen really got mad at her and disposed of her or fired her, Y/N wasn’t entirely sure how to begin a new life. Sure, she had a degree, a perfect CV but other than working as a handmaid for the mob, she had never worked before and only know was she getting paid for it. She’d rather be silent about it than put her own stability at risk.
They arrived at the hotel at around 2 AM and were quickly checked into their bedrooms. As per usual, Y/N’s bedroom was always next to Gwen’s and normally on the top floor for safety reasons. Y/N rolled her suitcase into her bedroom, bidding Gwen goodnight as she went to sleep. She threw her bag onto the bed and rushed over to the window, opening it so the night air come could in. 
She huffed, leaning against the railing of the balcony, looking up to the full moon that light the dark night sky.  Her mind flew to Sebastian and his teasing comments at the plane. In any other occasion, maybe one where he wasn’t that angry at his associates, she would’ve fought him on her idea of dreaming. Dreaming. What did he even have to dream about? Like Gwen, he was filthy rich, heck even more than her. He had power, control ... if he had a dream, he could probably have it in a snap of his fingers. She guessed that at least she was in Paris and that was good, that was fantastic. 
Frankly, her mind was just wandering around the Sebastian Stan subject because, well, it didn’t want to leave the subject. The casual and messy styles she had caught him on both in sweatpants and with his dress shirt unbuttoned had glued to a psyche. Half her brain was telling her stop thinking about your friend’s future husband and the other half was telling her to go right ahead, not like Gwen would worry about it. 
Meanwhile, Sebastian was trying to handle a deal gone wrong. The most he could do was scream at them and threaten to have their head on a plate. Even with that, his associates would rather cry about spilled milk than go and try to fix it. His father was a great man but giving leadership of his French sector to Thompson Williams had been and would forever be the worse thing ever. It wasn’t like Sebastian could just demote him, it would make most of his supporters go against him and if he just killed everyone, who would do the dirty work after? 
       - It’s the second time this year. - Sebastian poured himself a glass of whiskey, trying to whisk away the fact that he’d much rather be in his hotel room, or probably Y/N’s, than dealing with a minor man’s mistake. - I’m starting to think Mr. Williams that we might have an issue here. 
       - The shipment was faulty, it is not my f ...
       - I told you the shipment was much too cheap for its value. I remember fucking telling you not to buy it and you still bought it behind my back and lost me over three million. I will have your fucking head on a stick if this isn’t solved by you, by tomorrow. - he spat at the much lower ranked mobster who was sat down on his guest office chair, except on his own office chair. - And not a single cut of the deal will fly your way. 
       - It was a good bet, I had to take it.
       - My fucking family is not fucking based on bets, it’s based on organised deals with serious fucking people who give a damn they’re part of it. - he slammed the glass hard enough against the desk to give way to a crack. - Fix it or I’ll cut your fucking hand off. 
He grabbed his jacket’s from the hanger, slung it over his shoulder and walked outside the lesser man’s office followed by his swarms of bodyguards. Did he need the bodyguards? No, it was mostly a show of power and someone who could do the dirty job if it was necessary. However, at this point, his brain was still processing at Upper East Side times and not Paris. In simpler words, he could feel his lids heavy and his temples hurt but his mind was going haywire. He should’ve fired him, god all he wanted to do was diminish him to serving drinks at his engagements. 
He reached the Hotel Montaigne closer to 4 AM and took off to his normally reserved suite. The hotel was his, or at least in the paperworks, his father’s therefore he had certain privileges such as being able to have his own room free from pesky guests, with the best view. A view of the Tower Eiffel. A view Y/N would probably enjoy.
      - Sebastian? - his head swiftly turned to the source of the noise. He noticed Y/N standing there with sleep filled eyes in a white set of pyjamas. - You banged the door a bit too loud.
      - Did I wake you up? - he tried to soften up his tone but, sadly, the business troubles were still very much present on his mind therefore his angry facade was still very much present too.
      - I’m a light sleeper. Besides, you looked worried and I thought you might want to talk about it. - she leaned against the door frame. 
      - Is that what you do when Gwen’s upset? - he pulled on the knot of his tie, successfully loosening it up and throwing it to the side.
      - No, when Gwen’s upset I lock myself in a bunker and hope she doesn’t come find me for stress relief. - Y/N closed the door behind her, trudging up to him who had now thrown his tie and jacket to the side, unbuttoning the top first buttons of his dress shirt. - I’m guessing the meeting didn’t go well.
     - Catastrophic would be underrated. 
     - You did all you could. - she gave him a soft smile, the type of smile a partner would give you when you came back from a long day. The type of smile that wrapped you in the false idea of a comfortable home life, at least, to him. Nevertheless, Y/N seemed to embody that warmth specially when she gave him that traditional signature smile of hers. His hand, mindlessly, laid upon her elbow as to which her gaze immediately lingered upon. Once again, that typical heat that made itself present when she was around him made itself known and she shifted from side to side, teeth coming to pull at the skin of her own bottom lip. - I feel like you’re upset because have an issue relinquishing control. 
Sebastian took a step back at her sentence, lips slightly open at her statement as he found it hard to reply to her. He wondered if there was something more to her ingenue environment or if that same ingenue atmosphere had given her the unknown courage of telling that to a mob boss. Of course he had to constantly have control, that was his job. 
     - You can’t control everything in your life, Sebastian. - she sat on top of his much comfortable looking duvet. Unlike her room which was decorated in shades of white, his bedroom was decorated in dark rich shades of scarlet red and light beiges. - It goes against the laws of nature itself doesn’t it?
    - Well ... - he took to sitting by her side, leaving not much of two inches between the beginning of both their hips. - I believe that humans are really good at controlling even the laws of nature. We decide when plants bloom, when and how animals should procreate and even their genetics ... why shouldn’t I believe I can control everything?
    - Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. If you worry about every single time you lose control over your business, it’s more like punishing yourself than punishing the ones you’re meant to. 
    - I’m really grateful for your concern, Y/N, but you’re not my handmaid, you don’t have to worry about me. 
   - Don’t tell me you even wish to control who worries about you and who doesn’t. - she crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at him but he merely chuckled at her. 
Y/N gaze moved from his inspections one to the window, eyes agape as she came in contact with the most beautiful view she could ever picture. Mindlessly, the young woman rushed over to the balcony, only stopping once the rails hit her stomach. The night air and the look at the Tower Eiffel looked exactly like what one of her very good dreams would entail. Her eye sparkle and wondrous look did not go unnoticed by the mob boss who paced over to her side, gaze fixed on her soft complexion and how the smallest things just seemed to have the largest effect on her. Maybe owning the hotel had made him forgot how breathtaking the view really was or maybe it was because she was over there in white pyjama shorts and shirt with the most striking look in her eyes. 
    - Woah, angel. - he put his hand on her abdomen, slightly pushing her back before she could cross over the railing. - We don’t want you to fall, do we?
    - It’s just marvellous. How can you even sleep with a view like this? - well, he would very much enjoy to fall asleep in that balcony if she were by his side. 
    - I’ve been seeing this since I was a kid, Y/N. It loses its charm. 
    - No, I don’t believe that. You just have no taste.
    - I have no taste? - he furrowed his eyebrows at her. - Angel, I’ve had people’s head for less.
    - Oh ... I’m sorry. - she took a step backward, playing with her hair. 
    - I was just playing. - his hand rested on her forearm, caressing the skin with the pad of his thumb. - Look, if you wa...
    - Mr. Stan? - the bodyguard knocked on the suite’s door, making Y/N take a few steps back becoming void of his touch. 
    - WHAT?! - Sebastian barked at the man, turning around, hand on top of his silver revolver just in case. Not that he was gonna shot the man in front of Y/N, he would probably traumatise her and Gwen would sue him. The man cowered in front of him, eyes settled on the young woman by his side knowing she was the only reason he wasn’t dodging a bullet.
   - There’s a call for you from Mr. Williams. 
   - You should go. - Y/N smiled, tired. - I should probably return to bed. 
   - Wait, angel, will you join me for breakfast tomorrow morning? I can get some room service, have it by the balcony.
   - I’m sorry, Sebastian. I already promised Gwen I would go shopping with her in the early morning. - sure, she’d rather be having breakfast with the Tower Eiffel in sight than having to go to the Champs-Élysées with Gwen for some high spending shopping. Yet, on the other hand, it felt odd to have breakfast with her friend’s fiancé. She shouldn’t.
Without giving too much of a look to Sebastian whose traits probably included persuasion, she returned to her bedroom, locked the door behind her and tucked herself into the comfortable sheets. Her eyes were set in the darkness of the bedroom, heart beating like a drum as his touch seemed to linger on her skin, almost like a ghost feeling. 
Y/N didn’t remember falling asleep, however it felt like she didn’t slept for long once her alarm went off. With a tiring motion, she lifted from her torso from the bed, rubbing the sleep off her eyes. She placed her feet on the floor and meandered around her room, hoping the cardio-like walk would wake her up a bit more. After sleep disappeared from her eyes she grabbed her clothing and walked off her bedroom, knocking on Gwen’s door. Much to her surprise, she was already prepared to go, sunglasses on and a dark velvet green dress on matched with brown boots.
     - Aren’t you excited? Paris shopping. - Gwen pushed her handmaid by the arm, followed by the bodyguards onto the lift. However, all Y/N could think of was Sebastian. She felt bad for denying his request, mostly because she really did enjoy the request but being on his company all the time would probably hurt his image or even worse hurt Gwen’s feelings. 
Maybe it had been her willingness to overthink a simple suggestion, but once her brain took her back to reality she was standing at the very long Champs-Élysées where Gwen was rushing around like a mad-men. Y/N always found the Champs-Élysées rather more accessible than the Upper East Side, mostly due to the existence of more low end shops and known banks than the New York district, yet, the overwhelming amount of high class shops like Marcs Jacobs and Channel made it look like a rich person’s playground. It definitely was that, but Y/N was most interested in the stores’ architecture and Paris’ landscape. However, she was not immune to some materialistic stuff, specially once the two stopped by the brilliantly built Ladurée. The shades of light turquoise like green made it look like something straight off a fairytale book and the sweets on the window display made everyone crave sugar.
    - You look very lost today. - Gwen commented, entering the shop along with her handmaid. - I haven’t seen you look this lost since you finished reading Gone Girl.
   - I’m just tired. - Y/N smiled tightly, dismissing her friend’s concerns, however, Gwen was much too curious to just let it go. - Couldn’t really sleep.
   - Alexander told me you were in Sebastian’s room last night. Is there something happening that you haven’t told me? Is it about me?
   - He just wanted to know how to get closer to you, Gwen. You know I wouldn’t tell him anything you didn’t want me to.
   - I don’t know, Y/N ... - she pointed at a pink box of what looked like macaroons on the display, handing the cashier her card. - You are very ... righteous sometimes. Pretty sure you can’t lie even without a gun to your head. 
   - You know I’m loyal to the Forrest family, I wouldn’t tell Mr. Stan anything that you didn’t allow me to. 
   - Good. I heard he was pissed about Thompson. I don’t know why he wasn’t placed a bullet in the middle of his eyes, I would. - the cashier handed her the pink box and the two women followed by the bodyguards walked back outside onto the street. 
   - You can’t just shot everyone you hate, Gwen. Who would you rule over then?
   - Newer, smarter people. 
They were out on the street until late afternoon when Gwen decided it was time to return to the hotel, which Y/N’s feet were eternally grateful for. As per usual, she had ended up carrying her fair share of bags along with the bodyguards and the weight plus all the walking had left her wanting nothing but to lay down and perish for a few seconds. 
After all the bags were in the heiress’ room and she had sneakingly, yet not that unnoticeably to Y/N, walked to the hotel bar with one of the bodyguards she was particularly found of, Y/N was finally free to return to her bedroom. Happily. she tapped her card against the bedroom door, a click indicating the door was ready to be open. Pushing her door open, her heart skipped a beat as a very familiar figure stood in the middle of her room. She let out a gasp, holding onto the handle of the door, ready to bolt off.
   - Please don’t be scared, Miss Y/N. - Mr. Williams prowled to her, a bit to close for comfort. - I just needed to have a word with you.
   - Mr. Stan and Ms. Forrest are not available, right now. Please leave my bedroom. - her knuckles held forcefully onto the handle of the door, hoping a bodyguard would notice the slightly creaked door. 
   - I wish to speak for you, please Miss. You must speak with Mr. Stan about me, try to get me in his good graces please.
   - I think you should speak with Ms. Forrest about that not me. - well good luck, she liked him even less than Sebastian and unlike the mob boss was rather reckless in her decisions.
   - I don’t think she is as influential as you are, Miss. With all due respect, I believe you’re the only one who can help me and maybe gain me some forgiveness. - his voice was honeyed, yet his words registered like nails on chalkboards on her brain. - Please, Miss Y/N, I’m sure if you ask him he won’t be as harsh. 
   - I think you misjudged my relationship towards Mr. Stan. I’m his employee, I would love to help but I don’t think he would care much for my opinion. 
   - You certainly have noticed you’re highly in his favour, Miss Y/N. Please, I’ll make it worth your while. - he grinned at her almost as if he was mocking her words, but that wasn’t what really was bothering Y/N. His presence bothered her, specially once his hand went over hers to pull the handle completely. - I would be grateful. 
 He opened the door completely, walking off and shutting it on the young woman. Almost out of memory, she locked the door and rushed over to her balcony to do the same thing. Y/N didn’t want to think about how he’d gotten in her bedroom, he clearly wasn’t in any of Sebastian’s favourite books and definitely not in Gwen’s. 
   - M���am? - her body trembled at the knock of the door but the voice soothed her. Thankfully, it was her bodyguard - It’s me, m’am. We can’t have the doors locked with you inside the room for safety measures.
   - I’m sorry. - Y/N’s hands shivered as she unlocked the door, opening it slightly to stare at the bodyguard. - I’m sorry, Elias. I was just not feeling very well. 
   - Oh, would you like me to notice Mr. Stan or Ms. Forrest?
   - No, it’s fine. It’s fine. - she gave him an understanding smile before closing the door again. Without much thought, she stripped off her clothes and jumped into the shower allowing the hot water to drip down her body. In his favour, she wasn’t in his favour. She was just his employee and his fiancée’s handmaid, meaning he shouldn’t really be rude to her.
It wasn’t like Y/N could just go on and tell him to go easy on one of his associates, she just couldn’t unless she wanted to be screamed at. Being screamed at is not something she really wanted but on the other hand, she didn’t want Gwen or Sebastian to shot him for no reason or for at least an unreasonable one. Besides, Mr. Williams looked scared. With that in her mind, she walked off the shower, putting on one of her sweater-like fabric dresses.
   - Y/N? - she hunched her shoulders, hand on top of her chest as the knocks reverberated within her room. God, why does everyone want to speak with her today?
   - Come in. - Sebastian came into the bedroom, back in his very business formal which somehow disappointed her. She definitely preferred the more relaxed style, at least on him. - Gwen is at the bar right now, if you’re looking for her. 
   - I own this hotel, angel. I know exactly where everyone is. I’m here because Elias told me you weren’t feeling well. - that little back stabber. - Was the shopping trip that bad?
   - I’m just a bit ... I think overwhelmed fits. 
   - Too overwhelmed for a surprise? 
   - I think I’ve had my fair share of surprises today, but I wouldn’t mind seeing what you have in store.
   - Well, c’mon then. - we checked his watch. - We have a few minutes.
She shrugged, getting up from the bed and following him into his bedroom, looking around to make sure Gwen wasn’t around to ask many questions. Her major issue was that her friend thought that she was feeding Sebastian information about her love life and maybe she would, if she remembered the last guy she was with. 
Sebastian pulled her until his balcony, setting her so that her sight laid on the sunset landscape and the Tower Eiffel. 
   - What am I looking at? - not that she didn’t love the sunset, she absolutely did, she just thought it wouldn’t be something Sebastian would be particular excited to show her. Not that he should be excited to show her anything. 
   - Just wait. - he checked his watch once again, ensuring her gaze didn’t leave the iron lady. As Y/N readied herself to ask him what he wanted her to see, the Tower Eiffel lit up and like the building so did her eyes as she gasped at the sight in front of her. If she thought the view from last night was stunning, she did absolutely thought this thing was merely out of this world. - It lights up at sunset. 
   - This is just beautiful. Thank you so much. - she wrapped her arms around him for a few seconds before returning to look at the lit up building. - Ugh, I could just live here forever.
   - You’re certainly easy to please. - he leaned against the railings, looking at her with the look of utter most adoration. How could someone in her field still enjoy the little things was always interesting. 
   - I ... I need to speak you. - she played with her nails, looking up to his eyes.
   - Should I be concerned?
   - It’s about Mr. Williams.
tag list: @sideeffectsofyou​ @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea @madisonpillstrom​ 
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pixie-mage · 4 years ago
Note
4,5, O (both + and -) and V -
From this NatM Writing Prompt: [ x ]
(Sorry it took so long, but I had a lot of fun writing this one! It gets a bit emotional in the middle, but I promise there's fluff there too!)
Characters: Jedediah x Octavius Adjectives: Overprotective, Overworked, Vulnerable
~  ~  ~  ~  ~
Jedediah really should have noticed it sooner. They had returned from the Smithsonian and been on display for almost a month by now, and the new Night Program was in full swing...so perhaps there were more than a few reasons it had slipped under his radar. But still, he should have noticed it sooner.
It was approaching midnight now. There had been no guests in the museum for a few hours or so, just Larry and the exhibits, and most of them were taking the time off to enjoy the night like they normally did. Emphasis on ‘most’.
Jedediah leaned sideways against the wall of the Roman diorama, his arms folded across his chest and one boot tucked across the ankle of the other. He watched with a subtle frown as Octavius discussed something quietly with Marcus, his second in command, at the edge of the courtyard that marked the center of the display. Octavius’ brow was furrowed, his hands moving with his words, whatever he was saying clearly of some level of importance. Or at the very least, Octavius seemed to think so. But Jedediah could see the dark shadows under the general’s eyes, the tension in his armor-clad shoulders, the odd little eye movements that flickered off to the side at odd intervals...as if he felt like he was being watched, or was waiting for something to jump him.
Octavius looked stressed and worn out, and it was a wonder Jedediah hadn’t caught on sooner. Come to think of it, since they had returned from Washington DC, Jed couldn’t remember more than a few brief, fleeting moments that Octavius wasn’t hard at work doing...something. Anything. Running drills with the Roman army, rehearsing dialogue for the Night Program, discussing some kind of political or military issue with Marcus (or Cyrus...Jed shuddered; that slimy kiss-ass of a senator could take a damn hike in his opinion). And on the rare occasions that Octavius took time aside to spend with Jedediah for fun, he was constantly on edge. He consistently offered alternate choices for their museum adventures that (Jedediah now realized) were less ‘dangerous’ or ‘risky’. He casually (slyly) veered Jedediah away from ideas that involved something less-than-wise. He was being–
...well, protective, almost, Jedediah landed on. Or maybe paranoid.
All in all, it was obvious that something was up with the Roman general...and perhaps it was high time Jedediah did something about it.
Jed pushed away from the wall and moseyed over to the town square, tossing his arm around Octavius’ shoulders with a grin.
“Howdy Marcus!” he greeted the other soldier, who smiled politely at him. “I’m gonna steal Octavius from ya for a while. Hope ya don’t mind.”
“Of course not,” Marcus inclined his head. Octavius let out a disgruntled noise of protest.
“Jedediah, please, I have to–”
“Nope,” Jed cut off his protests and steered him about, marching off towards the Roman border with Octavius held tight against his side. “No can do, amigo. We’re goin’ for a drive.”
“Jedediah–”
“Ockie, hush up. You look like you could use a break, so I’m makin’ sure you get one.”
“But Rome–”
“Can last one night without you there,” Jed said. “Your soldiers have been workin’ their tails off for more ‘n two weeks straight. Hell, Billy’s been all mopey over on our side of the wall because he ain’t seen his Roman friends in days. Let ‘em have a night off.”
As if to cement this fact, Octavius caught sight of a familiar pair of archers chattering excitedly near the diorama’s edge, clearly on their way out of the city - much like Jedediah and himself. Octavius sighed, finally giving in to Jedediah’s impulsive adventure.
“Very well,” he said. “I suppose you may have a point.”
“Dang right I do,” Jed grinned, shaking Octavius slightly with the arm still slung around the man’s shoulders. “Get yer Roman ass down that climbin’ rope and I’ll fetch the car.”
Jed left Octavius behind to grab up the rope hanging over the edge of Rome’s border, gripping it in both gloved hands and leaping out of the diorama with expert ease. He didn’t have to look behind him to know Octavius would be following after him.
~
Tonight’s drive was about the same as every other time in the past few weeks that they had taken the car out for a spin. Jedediah drove a little too fast and a little too recklessly, Octavius tried to enjoy himself while murmuring quiet cautions to be more careful, and once or twice Octavius gripped the door handle with such intensity at Jedediah’s more reckless turns that his knuckles were white from the strain.
It was almost the same as when they would drive around before the Smithsonian...but only almost.
Now that he was looking for it, Jedediah was kicking himself for not noticing the difference sooner. Before, Octavius was normally just about as invested in the thrill of their adventures as Jedediah...but much of his enthusiasm was missing right now. Without a second thought, Jed took a sharp right and headed for a familiar exhibit, ignoring the tense expression that flitted across Octavius’ face at his sudden change of direction. He steered the car swiftly into the dimly lit room and parked off to the side, and the moment the car came to a stop he kicked open the door and ducked out of the miniature vehicle.
The room was quiet and empty. Ahkmenrah was almost never in his own exhibit after hours, making this one of the only places in the museum that was relatively still at this time of night. Though Jedediah himself had never asked the pharaoh about it in person, he had a sneaking suspicion that the young ruler wasn’t too fond of his tomb and sarcophagus. Jed imagined being trapped in one place for decades could do that to a person.
The sound of the passenger door opening and closing came from behind him but Jedediah didn’t turn around. Instead, he took a few strides away from the car to lean against one of the massive stone pillars that decorated the exhibit, only turning to look at Octavius once he had his back pressed against the cool stone. He folded his arms over his chest and eyed the other miniature from beneath the brim of his hat.
“What’s goin’ on with you Octavius?”
Octavius, who had been in the process of following Jedediah away from the car, paused mid-step. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, then his brow furrowed as he said:
“In...what regard?”
“You look exhausted, Ockie,” Jed said softly, a pained sympathy lacing his words. “You’re workin’ yourself to pieces and you’re jumpin’ at shadows. Now I know you keep sayin’ you’re just busy because we’re still settlin’ into the new Night Program and whatnot, but I’m not so sure I believe you.”
A brief, startled look passed over Octavius’ face like a fleeting shadow, there and gone again in less than a breath.
“I admit, I may be keeping myself a little too busy as of late,” he conceded. He rested a hand on the hilt of his sword, his fingers tense. “But - Jedediah, I assure you, I am perfectly fine.”
“Mind tryin’ that again?” Jed quirked an eyebrow at Octavius, who swallowed thickly and looked away.
Jedediah shook his head with a sigh and pushed away from the pillar behind him. His footsteps echoed quietly in the cavernous room until he came to a stop right in front of his - now oddly tense - partner. He tried to catch Octavius’ eye.
“Look, I’m not tryin’ to call you a liar, but you’ve got shadows under your eyes and you’re about as jittery as a cornered cat. Somethin’s up, and I just wanna help.” When Octavius didn’t reply, Jedediah ducked into Octavius’ line of vision to finally meet his gaze. He gave the other miniature a lazy, lopsided smile. “There ya are. C’mon, talk to me sweetheart.”
Despite himself, Octavius smiled wearily and chuckled, shaking his head ever-so-slightly at Jedediah’s antics. Then his smile faded again and he let out a long breath, his eyes becoming closed off just as they had been before. He ran his fingers through his hair once or twice, having left his helmet in the car.
“Yes, alright, so I may be under some stress at the moment...but I’ll be fine. I swear it. I don’t wish to bother you with my trivial worries.”
“Hey now, that’s now how this works,” Jed protested immediately. He planted his hands on his hips. “We’re partners. We trust each other. Right?”
“Completely,” Octavius breathed. “I do trust you, my love. Always.”
“Then I don’t care how trivial you might think it is. If it’s worryin’ you then I wanna hear about it. Comprende?”
A brief moment of silence settled between them. Octavius looked as though he wanted to say something, but the words never left him. As he stood there, conflicted, unsure what to say, his expression slowly melted from the closed off facade he had been wearing for days into something softer…something fragile. A strained and emotional sort of exhaustion settled in his posture, his shoulders sagging, and Jedediah could see the very moment that something behind his eyes began to break. When Octavius finally spoke, it was on a quiet and wavering breath.
“...the hourglass.”
Understanding began to dawn in the back of Jedediah’s mind and his chest tightened. He had a feeling he knew exactly where this was going.
“After we attempted to escape the shipping container, you were trapped in the hands of a monster who held no qualms about harming anyone who stood in his way,” Octavius went on, speaking softly. Remembering. “And though it does not often bother me, our smaller stature was...a disadvantage. You could do nothing to fight against him, and on my own I could have done nothing to prevent your harm. I watched him lock you in that hourglass with no way of stopping it.”
“Wait, hold on – you were there?” Jedediah asked, eyes bugging out in surprise. He gripped Octavius’ shoulders in both hands. “You didn’t mention that before. I told ya to run! I told you to get away from there!”
“And leave you behind?” Octavius shot back. He pressed his palm to Jedediah’s chest as if to push him away...but he didn’t. “I had to be sure you were alright! I had to know where you were so that I could save you.” His eyes were shining as he searched Jedediah’s face for something that couldn’t be named. “That monster gave you all of an hour to live. It was at once the longest and the most quickly-passing hour of my entire life. Had I not been able to get to you in time–”
Octavius couldn’t finish the sentence. His breath caught, shuddering, and he clenched his eyes shut as if to block out the thought.
Jedediah felt as though the wind had been knocked from him. He had almost never seen Octavius so distraught. Octavius was a strong and proud man, a Roman general, and he rarely showed signs of true fear. It didn’t feel right to see him looking so terrified of something that could have been, that never was.
“Ockie, look at me,” Jedediah murmured. He waited until Octavius opened his eyes before cupping his face in one hand. He ran his thumb over Octavius’ cheek gently, a lopsided smile slipping onto his face. “I’m right here. Nothin’ happened to me. You got that? That crazy Egyptian couldn’t’ve done anythin’ to me even if he tried.”
A watery chuckle bubbled up past Octavius’ lips. The hand he still had pressed to Jedediah’s chest clenched slightly, his fingers fisting against the blue fabric of the cowboy’s shirt.
“No, I imagine he couldn’t have,” Octavius agreed shakily.
“That’s what’s been eatin’ at ya since we got back?” Jedediah asked, worry creasing his brow.
“For many reasons.” Octavius let his eyes close again and he leaned into the comforting hand at his cheek. “It seems silly, perhaps, to be so affected by it...but I keep having nightmares in which I am...I am unable to save you.” He shivered. “Often I am either too late, or I cannot break the glass, or Kahmunrah grows impatient and–” He shivered again, a pained look crossing his face, and he pressed his lips together tightly.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Jed murmured, pressing their foreheads together, the brim of his hat tilting upwards because of it. “I’m fine. You saved me. Everything turned out alright, remember? Look–” He brought his other hand to grip Octavius’ fist where he was still clutching Jedediah’s shirt. “–feel that? My heart’s still beatin’ as strong as ever. Might be ‘cause of a magic tablet, but it’s there.”
Octavius nodded. He opened his eyes to meet Jedediah’s blue ones, so very close to his. He didn’t speak. He didn’t have to. Too many emotions were swirling in the depths of his eyes, tears glistening there that had yet to fall. He swallowed, licked his lips. He breathed. Jedediah pulled on a soft, crooked smile.
“Are you with me, Ockie?”
Not quite sure what else to do, Octavius moved in Jedediah’s hold until he was clinging to him tightly, holding him close, his face buried in the crook of the cowboy’s neck. His nose brushed against the blue and red of Jedediah’s shirt and neckerchief, taking in the familiar scent of sand and hard work and the hot sun and something so distinctly Jed that he could not put a name to it even if he tried. He closed his eyes and choked back a sob and clutched at the man in his arms as if he might never see him again. Tears slowly soaked into the shoulder of Jedediah’s shirt, but he didn’t seem to care as he hugged his partner back with every ounce of love he could give and let Octavius revel in the sheer solid proof that he was alive.
Eons seemed to pass before they finally parted (though not completely, as Octavius still had a hand on Jedediah’s waist and Jed was still lightly gripping Octavius’ arm, neither of them quite ready to let go). Octavius sucked in a deep, shaking breath, and when he smiled - almost embarrassed - Jedediah couldn’t help but notice that the shadows beneath his eyes seemed less prominent and some of the visible weight on his shoulders had lifted.
“Feelin’ better sweetheart?” Jedediah asked with a gentle smile. Octavius let out a huffed laugh and nodded.
“Much,” he said. “Perhaps I should have tried to speak about my troubles sooner.”
“Oh ya think so, huh?” Jed teased lightly, a sparkle in his eyes. He tugged at the brim of his hat, straightening it. “I reckon next time you’ve got a bunch o’ ‘What-If’s’ and ‘If-Only’s’ bouncing around in that head o’ yours, you won’t keep it to yourself. Right?”
“Of course,” Octavius smiled sheepishly. “I apologize for not speaking up before now. Nightmares didn’t seem like an important enough subject to bother you with.”
“I don’t care if your complaint of the day is that you’ve got a cramp in your left foot! If it’s botherin’ you, I’ll listen.”
Octavius giggled quietly and brought up a hand to hide his grin.
“Whatever did I do to earn such a caring lover?” he queried, and Jed winked.
“Punched him in the face a few times, I reckon.”
Laughter rang out quietly from the secluded corner of the Egyptian exhibit, unheard by anyone but the twin Anubis statues standing guard. The air was calm.
~  ~  ~  ~  ~
“Do you think General Octavius will allow us another night off this week?”
“Fabian, if you’re trying to be subtle, it isn’t working.”
“It was a simple question, that’s all!”
“Oh yes, of course it was. The implied ‘to see Billy’ after ‘another night off’ definitely didn’t exist.”
“MARIUS!”
A pair of archers were making their way back into Rome at the end of a night that had been much more relaxing than any they had spent lately. After a few weeks of enduring Octavius’ much more vigorous training regiments it was a welcome relief to be given even one night of freedom...and they weren’t the only ones hoping that their next night off would come sooner rather than later.
“You are much too easy to rile up, my friend,” the archer named Marius chortled, elbowing Fabian. “But to answer your question, it depends on that cowboy Jedediah. You saw him escorting the general out of Rome earlier, did you not?”
“Of course I did,” Fabian grumbled, still flushed from Marius’ earlier teasing. “General Octavius didn’t seem very willing to leave.”
“Ah, but he still left,” Marius pointed out. “Hopefully Jedediah will be able to pull our dear general out of the sour state he has been in lately. With any luck, he’ll be–”
It was at this point that the pair reached the square, and Marius didn’t need to say anything more because Octavius and Jedediah were both in sight. Octavius was smiling brightly, looking more like his usual self than he had in weeks, and he was saying something to the cowboy beside him that neither archer could hear. Whatever it was, Jedediah’s grin turned into a gobsmacked expression in an instant and within the next moment he was bright red and fuming, blustering and spluttering indignantly beside a now-slyly-smirking Octavius.
“OCKIE, YOU CAN’T JUST – THAT’S NOT – WE’RE IN PUBLIC!”
“...I get the feeling you’ll be able to see Billy fairly soon, actually,” Marius muttered with raised eyebrows. Fabian only nodded, as Jedediah stammered something about:
“Crazy flirty Romans…”
~
Octavius bit his lip to stop himself from laughing, his eyes sparkling with mirth while he watched Jedediah teeter on the edge of an explosion. One might think he had already blown up with how loudly he was ranting on...but Octavius knew from experience that the things that actually put Jedediah over the edge left him unable to even form words, so absolutely dumbfounded and reeling that all he could manage was spluttering angry noises, enraged shouts, and pinwheeling limbs that made it look as though he was fighting with the air itself. While it was a guilty pleasure of his to push his beloved to that point, Octavius supposed that it wouldn’t be a very nice ‘thank you’ to do so right after Jedediah had so worriedly and dotingly helped him through some of his recent fears.
With a soft sigh, Octavius caught Jedediah by the arm and pulled him closer, pressing a soft kiss to the raving cowboy’s cheek.
“Forgive me cara, I’ve never been very good at holding my tongue around you,” he chuckled. “I was only teasing. I apologize.”
Jedediah stilled, as red as a tomato, but his temper slowly fizzled out. He grumbled quietly and hunched his shoulders with his arms folded tightly over his chest.
“...yeah, yeah, keep yer apology,” he rolled his eyes. “Just - quit sayin’ stuff like that in public. It’s not for other people to hear.”
“I shall endeavour to do better.”
Octavius was still grinning softly when Jedediah turned to look at him, the flush of his face lessening and his expression turning affectionate and a little concerned.
“...are you alright?” Jed asked him in an undertone, aware of the people of Rome lingering around the square. “For now anyway?”
Octavius’ grin softened into a tired smile.
“For the most part, yes,” he nodded. His fingers tightened against Jedediah’s arm. “...I doubt the nightmares themselves will vanish overnight - after all, the thought of losing you isn’t one so easily swept aside...” Jedediah winced sympathetically. “...but it doesn’t feel nearly so real of a concept anymore.”
Jedediah was quiet for a few seconds, searching Octavius’ expression for what he could only assume were signs of falsehood. (Octavius knew it was not for a lack of trust either.)
“D’you want me to stay?” Jedediah asked quietly.
“Stay–?”
“Stay durin’ the daylight hours,” Jed specified. “You can try and get some decent sleep and I’ll fight off your nightmares. And if Larry says anything about it, I’ll handle it. You’ve been through enough.”
A warmth, a fondness, swelled in Octavius’ chest, and he found himself gazing adoringly at the man before him. He had asked himself this question almost a million times by now, but...how did he ever get so lucky?
“I love you,” he whispered, before he could stop himself. Jedediah cleared his throat, his cheeks pink.
“Well...w-well that’s nice an’ all, but...er...is that a yes or a no?”
“Yes,” Octavius amended quickly. “Yes, please. I - I would greatly appreciate it.”
“Alrighty then.” Jed nodded and tugged the brim of his hat down to hide his face, looking thoroughly flustered. He took a few steps in the direction of Octavius’ home, paused, and turned back long enough to add: “...I love you too, ‘Tavius.” Then he was marching off through the crowds of Roman citizens, his fists in his pockets and his hat pulled low. Octavius only smiled.
He would be okay.
~  ~  ~  ~  ~
[A/N - Hope you enjoyed this one! Sorry again that it took so long to finish it! This time, I wrote them as having an established relationship, mostly because the discord server I'm on voted for that one over (A) mutual pining and (B) Octavius confessing his feelings. Seeing as I don't often write them this way, it was nice to change things up! Plus I feel like it makes Octavius racing against the clock to save Jedediah that much more meaningful. I ALSO GOT TO WRITE SOFT!JEDEDIAH TOO! I've never gotten the chance to write that side of him, so thank you for the inspiration!]
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shireness-says · 4 years ago
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I have yearned for you (and I still do)
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Summary: “There’s an irony, she thinks, to the situation they find themselves in now - he, the man who has it all together, and her, an increasingly hot mess.” Sometimes the things you need are right back where you started from. ~10.6k. Rated T for language. Also on Ao3. 
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A/N: For @welllpthisishappening​, who doesn’t want to talk about the revival, and @snidgetsafan​, who does. Behold: my pining-type thoughts! Thanks for your patience and encouragement as I stressed over this instead of working on my WIPs. 
Post-revival, if that’s an issue for anyone. Title from a Frank Turner song yet again, because that’s how I roll. Extra thanks to L for her beta skills.
Enjoy, and let me know what you think!
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Jess is the one who comes up with her name. In retrospect, that was probably a sign.
Actually, that’s not entirely true. From the moment the sonogram tech had announced congrats, it’s a girl , it had kind of been a done deal that she would be another Lorelai. Something something tradition. But with the reigning Lorelai still alive and well and so obviously having dibs on the full name, it’d been obvious that some sort of nickname was going to come into play. 
There’d been a suggestion box in the diner after no small amount of twisting Luke’s arm, suggestions of how the heck they were supposed to shorten Lorelai, and then a follow-up poll of the options Rory had actually liked (because she was not calling the kid “Loreo, like Oreo!”, thank you, Cesar). It’d been nice, actually, and a good way to channel the collective energy of the denizens of Stars Hollow without being stopped on the street every three minutes when her feet already hurt like hell. 
Anyways. In the polling, “Elle” had won, and Rory had actually really liked it. Something the kiddo had a chance to grow into - feminine, delicate yet strong, a name that would fit a little girl or a grown adult. And, c’mon - in the Gilmore household, they’ve always liked Legally Blonde anyways. There’s worse role models than Reese Witherspoon being unapologetically herself. 
But. 
The thing is, as much as Rory had though it was cute back when the kid was an unrealized idea, just a little mooch taking her energy and appetite for normal things, it’s a very different thing to hold her baby for the first time - her tiny girl, here and screaming and with wisps of the softest blonde hair. And she just can’t do it. It feels too on the nose, to call this little blonde baby Elle - like she’s about to doom this tiny person to a lifetime of not being taken seriously. She deserves better than that. 
She doesn’t go nameless; it’s easy to fill out the birth certificate Lorelai Richard Gilmore , even if the nurse casts a funny look at the choice of middle name. She’s never been a staunch traditionalist anyways, and Rory had wanted to honor her grandfather regardless if the baby had been a boy or a girl. He would have loved having a great-granddaughter to spoil in the way he and Grandma had been denied when she was a baby - and besides, even if Emily shakes her head about the unconventional choice, it makes her smile fondly too. 
Still - there’s a difference between what someone is named and what someone is called, and the latter for the youngest Lorelai is still a great big question mark. Rory runs back through the list of runners up, but nothing fits .
“I was supposed to have this figured out by now,” she whines to Jess when he drops by to visit and meet the baby. He’s been a huge help as she tries to write her book, and after years of awkward “what the hell even are we”, Rory feels like they’re finally back in a good place, back to being friends. She likes being friends, like him being one of her people again, even if the 2nd trimester horniness and wanting to jump his bones never really went away. But she’s not really in a place to think about that right now. “Aren’t I supposed to be able to just, like, look at her and know what her destined name is supposed to be?”
“Yes, because motherhood automatically grants mystical powers,” he replies wryly. “I think that whole thing is a myth, Gilmore.”
He looks good holding a baby - surprisingly comfortable too. It makes her realize, not for the first time, that he built himself a whole life she doesn’t know about while she ran around the world, trying to figure out what would make her happy - a life with a business and a purpose and probably friends with kids. Not at all the boy she met more than a decade ago. 
(It is something she tries not to focus too much on, for fear of where it might lead - to the realization that she may not really know him at all, or more dangerously, the realization that she wants to.)
“Ivy,” he says out of nowhere. “You should call her Ivy.”
“Ivy?” It hadn’t been one of the names any suggested before, but in a weird way, it fits. Something soft and strong and neutral, a name that could become anything. A name she can make her own.
“Yeah. I mean, she’s Lorelai the fourth, right? Lorelai the fourth. Lorelai I-V. Ivy.”
And it’s - well, the name is so right, but the logic behind it is so Jess. Because he’s always been clever like that - not even aware that there’s a box he’s thinking outside of. She likes, too, that now that he’s made the suggestion, he doesn’t try to backtrack or explain anything away, try to tell her she doesn’t have to listen. He knows she knows that. Jess has never been one to fill a silence just because it exists.
“I like that,” she finally says. “Ivy Gilmore.”
“Then congratulations - it’s a name.”
———
Telling Logan had been hard - harder than making herself take the test, harder than telling her mom. Because they’re not an item anymore, you know? They’ve gone their separate ways, ended whatever dynamic they’ve had going the last couple of years, and under normal circumstances, it would be easier to keep her distance. No contact, end it all firmly and definitively and for good .
A baby complicates that, and throws that possibility straight out the window.
She can’t really say she’s disappointed in Logan’s response, not when it plays out pretty much exactly the way Rory assumed it would. Nothing changes; they don’t get back together, and he doesn’t leave the French heiress. Rory isn’t certain she’d want either of those things anyways. He’d offered to support her in whatever decision she made, and that was more or less it. He’s never been great with emotions, and having a kid doesn’t show signs of changing that. 
(Rory hadn’t expected him to be a hands-on partner in this - not even remotely - but it still aches, knowing this is the beginning of what will be a pattern in their child’s life.)
Now, all these months later, Rory texts him a picture from the hospital once the parade of visitors has gone home. Even in the midst of that disappointment, he deserves to know.
Lorelai Richard Gilmore IV. 7 lbs, 2 oz. We’re calling her Ivy.
His reply comes through a half hour later. Congrats, Ace - she’s beautiful, just like her mother. 
(She’ll never admit it later - but when she receives his response, it takes everything in her not to cry.) 
———
It’s nerve-wracking, bringing Ivy home from the hospital and back to her mom’s house - like Rory shouldn’t be trusted to leave with such precious cargo. The hospital had been safe , and the big wide world out there feels full of dangers as she carefully steps out into the June sunshine, the baby carrier in hand. It’s this moment, of all times, that makes Rory feel like a parent for the first time - like it’s her sole job to protect and nurture this tiny person that she made.
Lorelai and Luke’s is just a temporary stopping place, just until Rory can get her feet beneath her in this whole motherhood thing. It’s terrifying, knowing that she’ll have to be doing this on her own soon enough. She’s taken the classes and read countless books and websites, but it’s a very different thing once you’re handed a tiny, wrinkly baby and are expected to figure it out. 
“How did you do it?” she asks her mom that first night, sitting in the kitchen together while Ivy nurses and Luke’s asleep upstairs. “I mean, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, and I’m in my thirties. You were sixteen .”
“I did it because I had to, babe,” her mom replies, reaching across the table to tuck a lock of hair back behind Rory’s ear. “I knew I wanted to give you the best life I could, so… I had to figure it out. Looking back now, Mom and Dad would have helped, and they tried, but I didn’t want that. I mean, we’re okay-ish now, but I didn’t want you growing up under the same pressure I did. So I went out and figured it out because I had to. You were the making of me, kiddo. And I’ll tell you now - that kid’s going to change you in ways you can’t even imagine now. And it’ll all be worth it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I look at you every day, and I’m so proud - and I made that. Pretty cool, huh? And each day as she gets older, you’re going to get to do that too. You’ll figure this out. I know you will. You’re going to be a great mom.”
By the time Lorelai is done, Rory feels tears trying to form in her eyes. Something something hormones. “Thanks, mom.”
“Anytime, hon.”
———
She’s living in Luke’s old apartment above the diner. It’s the illusion of independence - it doesn’t feel like she’s living with her mother any more, especially now that she’s got a kid of her own, but she’s not paying rent either (no matter how much she had offered). The truth of the matter is that, except for Ivy’s things, she’s living out of boxes. There hadn’t been any sense to staying in New York, not when her income stream is so up in the air; besides, as much as Rory had loved the city for herself, she isn’t sure she’d want to raise her daughter there. Stars Hollow may be a bit loony, like a place out of a YA coming-of-age novel, but there’d been love in every single corner. She’d wanted that for Ivy, even when she was just two lines on a test stick - to grow up with this whole zany extended family. Rory’s own blood family is tiny, and even if Logan was eager to be involved, his isn’t much bigger; Ivy can use all the proto-aunts and -uncles and -grandparents she can gather. 
(Rory does feel some guilt on the rent front, but Luke wouldn’t hear of it. He’d waved it off in that grumpy way of his, some excuse about being too old to have a crying infant disturbing their sleep in the Queen Anne where Rory had grown up, but she remembers the way Luke had once called her a little bit his . This is his way of quietly looking after his grown almost-daughter - and looking at it like that, there’s no way she’d turn down the offer.)
(She knows for certain it’s all an excuse after Ivy is born, when Luke turns into every inch the doting grandfather, bouncing and cooing at the baby every time she expresses even the mildest displeasure. Too old for crying infants , her ass.)
The apartment is the same as ever, from the block letters on the door to the dark wood furniture inside. Honestly, it looks like the only thing Luke has updated in the past decade was replacing the refrigerator, and Rory doubts that was just on a whim. There’s a comfort to that same-ness - of knowing that some things never change, and don’t have to. She has so many memories up here, especially from that period when she and Jess had been dating. The blankets on the spare bed are different now - lavender and spring green for April, instead of the bachelor plaids Luke had scrounged up when Jess had moved in - but the couch is the same, and the kitchen table where they’d pretended to study, and the tiny closet of a bathroom where she’d try desperately to straighten her hair before heading home. A simpler time, in some ways - but a more complicated one too. Rory had been the town princess then, the perennial good girl , and for all of his brains and sarcastic charm, Jess had been a mess in many ways. Now, things are a bit more grey - where Rory doesn’t quite have her act together, and Jess is the one with a life and a career and a calling. She’s proud of him in so many ways, but it leaves her feeling off balance, and as much of that is about her own adrift state, there’s no denying that part of it is about this unexpected reversal. So much will never change in Stars Hollow - but somehow, this has. 
———
Logan finally comes stateside, to Stars Hollow, when Ivy is a little over five weeks old. 
They meet at the Dragonfly, because it seems the most neutral spot. Lorelai may have capital-o Opinions, but she’ll keep them to herself if Rory asks, and it’s still better than pulling him through the diner up to the apartment, where overprotective townies will glare and Kirk might try to challenge him to a duel for her honor or something. No one ever knows with Kirk. 
Logan meeting Ivy is… he makes all the right moves in the moment, you know? He smiles and bounces her and looks at her like some sort of precious mystery. But Rory can see too, already, from years of experience, that he’s got the makings of another Christopher. As much as she knows that he’ll love the kid they made, and do his best to take care of her, he’s not ready, and Rory can’t force him to be. Even in his thirties, Logan has a lot of growing up to do. 
“I went ahead and set up a fund for her college,” he makes sure to say before he departs, flying out of Boston that very afternoon to take care of some business in LA, “but you’ll let me know if she needs anything, right Ace? Or if you do?”
“I promise. Scout’s honor, cross my heart.”
“She really is beautiful, Rory. Thanks for this - letting me be a part of it.”
And then, before she knows it, he’s gone.
(She’ll never regret the times they were together, not when it brought her their daughter, but Ivy has made it all too obvious why they never would have lasted. Rory has long since stopped wondering what things would have been like if she had said yes, all those years ago when Logan had proposed. This is proof enough - a life spent hoping for something he’s not willing or able to give, and watching him climb onto an airplane over and over again.)
(In some moments, Rory almost thinks Logan’s absence is for the best when she remembers the utter horror that is his family - the way his mother doesn’t care about anything but her creature comforts, and Mitchum doesn’t care about anything but himself and his impossible standards. Rory may feel guilty about it, but sometimes, she’s relieved that Logan’s absence means that Ivy will never have to face their condescension the way Rory had to with Straub and Francine. It is a small blessing to be found in the tragedy that she’s afraid Logan’s involvement, and lack thereof, will turn into.)
When Jess comes by later to talk about the book and probably watch a movie, he finds her crying in the kitchen, trying to keep quiet so as not to wake Ivy. He pulls her into his arms seemingly without a second thought, and Rory lets herself melt into the hug, just for the moment. 
“It’s leftover hormones,” she tries to excuse, but they both know better. They’re both products of absentee fathers, after all, both know the ways that can shape a child. Jess knows full well what happened today; it’s probably why he’s here tonight, to pull her from the worst of her self pity. They both know her tears aren’t for herself, for the death of a relationship that’s long since ended; they’re for Ivy, and a relationship that maybe won’t start. 
“She won’t be alone,” he makes sure to tell her once Rory’s calmed down enough to be rational. “I mean, even beyond you and your mom and Emily, there’s Luke and Lane’s husband and a whole host of other guys who can step up. Hell, Kirk in all his weird glory has probably got some qualification to adopt her. And you know I’ll be here, as long as you want me to be.”
“Yeah?” Rory’s throat is still clogged, but she’ll take it as a win that she didn’t sniffle. It’s too significant a moment to mar that way. 
“What can I say, she’s cute enough to hold my attention.”
“You always were a sucker for a Gilmore,” she laughs, trying to lighten the mood. 
“Yeah, well, someone’s got to make sure you’re aware vegetables exist.”
And just like that, even as Rory’s tears are still dissipating, the mood is lifted into safer territory. That’s Jess, though, isn’t it? All that emotion, hidden behind a front of sarcasm. After all of the mistakes of his youth, he’s grown into a man people can count on; he’s proved that these last couple years, as Rory has found herself floundering.
They’ll be lucky to have him in their lives.
———
After that last night on the town with Logan and his friends, Rory expected to never see any of the members of the Life and Death Brigade again. They’ve had their fun together, over the years; Rory will certainly never forget all the crazy shenanigans they all got up to together. But as much as she’s enjoyed their time together, those have always been more Logan’s friends than her own. 
It comes as a surprise, then, when all of them - Finn and Colin and Robert, the three musketeers or three amigos - all make a point to call and text and, eventually, drop by. They’re a little fascinated by the baby, this sudden proof that someone in their sphere really has grown up. As nervous as it makes her at first, to let these crazy, careless men sit in the diner and take a turn carefully holding Ivy, it’s cute and funny to see the way they handle her like some kind of unknown, volatile science experiment. 
It’s funny, really, how differently they all react to the various daddy issues in their life. With Logan, it’s made him eager to live up to Mitchum’s impossible standards, no matter how much he tries to claim otherwise. With the rest of the Brigade, it’s somehow had the opposite effect. They all run away from responsibility whenever it gets too close, and Rory isn’t remotely in denial about that, but they’re somehow desperate to love and be loved, too, all of them. They’ll never be the guys she calls for babysitting, not if she wants Ivy back in one piece, but Rory thinks they could be the fun uncles instead - not a constant presence in Ivy’s life, but the kind of figures who will send a dozen roses and maybe a singing telegram to a kindergarten graduation or gift an impractical car for her sixteenth birthday.
(And in the empty space Logan seems determined to leave - Rory will take whatever she can get.)
———
Jess has been around a lot more than Rory anticipated, really. It’s not that he’s stayed away from Stars Hollow in past years; his life may be based in Philadelphia now, what with Truncheon and all, but she knows he’s made a point to drive up a couple of times a year to see Luke and Liz and his little sister, Doula. Since Rory’s come back to town, though, he seems to be around at least once a month - checking in, offering support with the book or anything else, and generally being a friend. It’s not something Rory’s particularly inclined to question, happy just to have him back in her life, but it doesn’t go unnoticed, either. 
“He’s been around a lot,” Luke comments pointedly. “Know anything about that?”
“He’s helping with the book,” Rory explains wearily. It’s an explanation she’s made a lot of times, to a lot of people, though she never figured Luke - level-headed Luke, who usually runs from gossip and emotions like an Olympic sprinter - would be one of them. 
“Whatever you say, Rory.”
Only the delivery of her burger had stopped a full-blown debate - something Luke had likely known. You don’t live with a Gilmore Girl for a decade without picking up a few tricks. 
(She’s trying not to read too much into it - the way he keeps showing up to sit in an empty desk at the Gazette office and listen to her talk until she works out her own writing blocks - but others apparently don’t have that same compunction. Then again, Luke has never been called subtle .)
By the time Ivy is born, Rory thinks the book is maybe two-thirds of the way done, thanks in large part to Jess’ encouragement. At least halfway, for sure. It’s a different kind of writing than she’s used to, after years of news articles and five-page magazine spreads, but it’s the good kind of challenge. There are days the words just flow out of her, memory mixing with prose to create something wonderful, and there are days she stumbles more. The personal nature of the project accounts for most of her hold-ups. Rory knows what makes for a good story, what will best illustrate the points she’s trying to get across, but it’s about her , and her mom, and all the other people in this crazy town that she loves. There’s not the same distance that she might find if she was writing about post-apocalyptic teens, or whatever other kind of fiction is in vogue these days. 
“Why did I decide to do this?” Rory groans, sitting on the couch in the apartment with Jess and her laptop, watching as Ivy pedals her arms and legs on her playmat on the floor. “Why did you talk me into writing this? This is your fault, you know.”
“Yes, I’m an evil genius forcing you to write a book. Absolute cruelty,” he snarks back. “Talk to me again tomorrow or next week when you figure out what needs to change for your current hurdle to make sense.”
“Why do you have to be the voice of reason?”
Jess’ face is unusually earnest when he turns to look at her - or as least as earnest as Jess ever gets. “Because I know you can do this, Rory. You might be the most determined person I know - if you want to write a book, it’s going to happen. I’m just here to listen to you whine until you’re ready to get back to the grindstone.”
“An invaluable service, really.”
“Damn straight. I’m an expert in that field.”
And he’s right - because a few days later, Rory busts through her block and gets back to flying through sentences and paragraphs. 
(She’d tell him what that kind of encouragement does for her - but then again, he probably already knows.)
———
Rory doesn’t have a regular job, per se, at least not right now; Ivy takes up so much of her time, and in between she’s desperately trying to put her book down on paper. She’s still the editor and primary contributor of the Stars Hollow Gazette, but it’s hard to call that steady work. There’s not enough going on in this little town for that, and most months accounts of the latest town meetings and whatever festival or fundraiser is being held in their little hamlet take up the sparse pages. It’s work that lets her feel like she’s accomplishing something - but in any other circumstance, one where she’s not simultaneously taking care of an infant, it wouldn’t be nearly enough to do, with the skimpy compensation to match.
It’s a shock when she gets a call out of the blue from Headmaster Charleston, asking if she’d like to come back to Chilton to head up a weekly journalism class. Privately, Rory suspects her grandmother of meddling; even if she now lives in Nantucket, content to build a new life and new purpose, Emily’s years of networking and most of her connections still stand, and she’s still not above pulling on those strings for what she believes is the benefit of all. It’s all too easy to accept the offer when she’s not in much of a position to say no. There’s the argument, too, that maybe this will help Rory figure out what she wants to do; perhaps teaching is her real calling.
(Somehow, Rory doubts that.)
As much as she loves Ivy, marvels at all the little changes and developments that come so quickly in these early months, it’s nice to have a standing appointment every Wednesday to get out of the apartment and out of Stars Hollow and put on real pants for a change. Chilton is the same as ever, all tall gothic arches and meticulously pruned shrubs, but somehow it seems less intimidating than it did when she was a student. Not smaller, like all the high school reunion cliches, but less… weighty. It’s no longer some mountain she has to climb like it was back when she was a teenager; it can be just a building and a repository for her memories. 
Rory finds that she likes teaching the class, actually, even if she can’t see herself making a career out of it. It’s nice to keep this just as a side gig, coming to campus once a week, only committed to teaching the one ninety minute class. She knows for certain that she’d go insane if she was committed to teaching three or four periods every day of the week, but this? This is sharing her knowledge and her passion with a small group of students who want to be here, who signed up for this elective on purpose. It’s like revisiting her own time as a student - covering the evolution of the profession and talkabout all the things she wished she knew when she first started at the Yale Daily News. With only one class, too, she doesn’t feel bad about seeking out one of the coffee shops she used to go to, back when she went to Chilton, in order to grade homework without distractions before she has to pick Ivy up from her mom at the Dragonfly.
It’s not her calling - but it’s a nice distraction. 
———
Most afternoons, Rory camps out at one of the tables by the bay window down in the diner with her laptop and tries to write. Tries is the operative word, of course; this is a social town, and not to be too vain, but she’s a popular lady. It’s still easier to take the baby monitor downstairs while Ivy’s napping, as the open floorplan of the apartment makes it difficult to do anything without waking the baby. 
(Yeah, she knows she’s supposed to sleep when the baby sleeps and all that - but clearly, whoever came up with that catchphrase wasn’t trying to write a novel at the same time.)
Today, a quiet Tuesday afternoon at the end of the lunch rush, her distraction has nothing to do with catty townsfolk. Today, Luke roped the visiting Jess into filling in for the usual waitress, and the sight is… something to behold. Jess has filled out since they first met, no longer the skinny, lanky kid she knew in high school; that much has been obvious for the last several years. But there’s something about the rolled up sleeves today, the way his arms keep flexing as he delivers and clears plates, that leaves Rory unable to look away. 
“When did you get built , Mariano?” she teases as he comes around with another coffee refill - still decaf, much to her chagrin, but what are you going to do.
Jess slides into the chair across from her, snagging his own mug off of an empty set table to pour his own cup of the brew. With an exaggerated glance down at his own arm, he shrugs. “Dunno. Took up boxing a couple years ago. Why, you see something you like, Gilmore?” he finishes with that cocky little smirk that’s always made her all fluttery. Some things really haven’t changed over the years. 
“What can I say, I’m a red-blooded American female.” After a moment, the first part of his response catches up to her tired brain. “Wait, you said boxing? Like - ”
Jess groans. “Do not make a Rocky joke, Rory, I swear to God - ”
“I’m just saying, you live in Philadelphia! Maybe you’ve gone native! I mean, I would have pegged you for obnoxious cheesesteak opinions instead of this, but to each his own - ”
“This is not some weird ‘gone native’ thing,” he scoffs. It’s evident he knows she’s teasing him, though, in the way the side of his mouth struggles not to quirk up. It’s nice, reminiscent of the banter they used to toss back and forth. “This is… it’s good exercise, ok? And a much better outlet for my frustrations than whatever self-destructive spirals I used to get into.”
Rory gapes, struck speechless for a rare moment. “Jess Mariano, did you go to therapy ?” 
A little bit of color flushes on his neck, but he otherwise keeps his composure. It’s not that she has anything against him going to therapy - frankly, they’re both prime candidates for a doctor’s couch, regardless of whether they want to admit it. It’s just surprising, somehow, to hear that Jess of all people is seeing someone, talking things out. Good for him, honestly - for the therapy and for being open about it. It’s another sign of how far he’s come since they were still those idiot teenagers. “Heard it was the trendy thing to do these days.”
“And you’re nothing if not a hip lemming, always following the crowd.”
“Yes, that is the one thing that people have always said about me. I’m such a follower.”
Somehow, she can’t help but grin at this, the way they sass each other back and forth. So often these past months, since Ivy was born, Rory has felt too tired to keep up with her usual self, to dish things out with the speed and array of references that she’s used to. It’s a relief to reclaim that, even just for a moment.
Before the moment can blossom any further, Babette waves Jess down from across the diner for her own refill. “Try not to get distracted by the gun show, alright, Rory?” he jabs as he stands up in his dry, teasing voice. “That book won’t write itself.”
(And if she sneaks another handful of glances before she hears Ivy start to fuss on the baby monitor - well, he’s good enough not to mention it.)
———
In a weird way, having Ivy brings Rory’s friendship with Lane into perspective.
Rory doesn’t remember a lot of the first year of Lane’s twins’ lives; the fact of the matter is that she hadn’t been around to make those memories. She only realizes now just how much Lane was on her own - Rory had been off following the Obama campaign, and Zach had been on tour for months at Lane’s insistence. Some days Rory feels like she can barely keep her head above water, and she’s only got the one baby to contend with; it’s a miracle Lane didn’t snap while having to care for two on her own. 
“I really admire you, you know,” Rory tells Lane during a lunch date at the antique shop while Kwan and Steve are at school. Lane sits across the table, same as it ever was, happily making faces at Ivy in her arms. 
“How’s that?” Lane asks.
“Because… I don’t know, I feel like I’m losing myself in the mom-ness of it all some days. I don’t get how you made it through that first year without Zach here most of the time and still stayed… Lane .”
“I mean, I wasn’t fully alone,” Lane points out. “I had my parents. Mom especially. Having her help with the boys really finally healed that relationship, which I’m not sure would have happened otherwise.”
“Yeah, that’s true. But, I mean, you’ve still got the band and you still keep up with all these up and coming music acts and - I don’t know. Maybe this is just baby brain, but I have trouble thinking about all the things I’d normally like to do. Seeing movies and new TV shows and whatever else. It’s like… all the Rory bits of my brain are just being taken over by Ivy bits.”
“It gets better in time,” Lane assures her, shifting Ivy to cover Rory’s hand on the table next to the rice cakes neither have touched. “She’ll get older and more independent, and you’ll have time again to be Rory. Besides, you’re not alone either,” she adds. “Not only do you have your mom and Luke and a whole town of affectionate maniacs, but you’ve got me. You can drop this cutie with me, her godmother, anytime you need a break.”
“Didn’t you reject religion years ago?”
“That’s a good point - but also, I’ve decided it’s not relevant right now.”
———
Motherhood, as a whole, is rewarding. There’s something magical about the way Ivy looks at her and looks like her, something earth shattering about the kind of trust she exhibits every time she smiles or reaches for Rory. It’s purpose, in a way that Rory was never entirely sure that she wanted; now, like every cliche ever written, she can’t imagine life any other way. 
For all of the magical moments, though, there are moments like this - hours and days where Ivy won’t stop crying, refusing to be soothed no matter how long she’s held or how much she’s bounced and swayed. It feels like Rory’s tried everything - the changing, the feeding, the singing, the music, the lighter clothes. Everything. None of it works, not even for a moment, and Rory’s at her wit’s end, practically in tears herself as she bounces around the apartment with her tiny banshee in her arms. 
“Please stop crying, baby,” she pleads, stroking the wisps of reddish fluff at the top of Ivy’s small head. The blonde hair had fallen out at six weeks, much to Rory’s guilty relief, and was growing back in a shade reminiscent of Emily’s natural shade. Not that she can focus on it right now. “I’ll do anything , baby, just… I don’t know what you want. What do you want ?”
Ivy doesn’t answer though, too young for anything but these screams. The never ending screams. The screams that leave Rory feeling more desperate, more on-edge than ever in her life. 
It’s not a great time for someone to knock at the apartment door; frankly, it’s probably a miracle that Rory even hears it. Under more normal circumstances, she might care that Jess sees her like this when she opens the door - unshowered, exhausted, barely holding it together - but she’s reached a point where she’s incapable of caring about anything but stopping the crying. 
“Were we supposed to meet?” she asks, tears rising to the surface as the very prospect proves just one too many things to handle. “I’m so sorry, Ivy’s been fussy all week, I completely forgot - ”
“No, I know,” Jess interrupts. “We didn’t have plans, Luke mentioned you were having a rough week. I figured I’d come up, give you a bit of a break.”
It doesn’t help. “I’m - it’s ok, I can handle this. You think I can’t handle this?” The words come out more frantically than she would have liked, but she’s not thinking straight anymore, and Ivy’s still crying —
“You know I don’t think that, Rory,” he says, in as much as a soothing voice as Jess can muster. He’s never been much for displays of emotion. “I just want to help. Let me take the howler monkey for a couple hours. You can have a shower, get a nap, come back thinking clearer. Alright?”
Her pride demands she say no - to not ask for help. It’s a streak so reminiscent of her own mother. But she’s so tired, and her ears will be ringing from the cries and screams for ages to come, and it’s too tempting an offer to deny. Resignedly, she nods, handing over the baby. “Ok. Yeah, ok, thank you. Let me get you the baby bag, and the carrier, and - ”
“Nope,” Jess interrupts, already starting a half-conscious bounce to try and settle Ivy and waving off all of Rory’s attempts at protest. “Look, I spent a lot of time here way back when, helping Doula make it to her first birthday. I know the drill. You’re veering towards Liz-level crazed, so go take a moment for yourself before it becomes permanent, alright?”
Somehow, Rory finds herself nodding, though she can’t help but try and reclaim a bit of the banter - or a bit of normality, more like. “You can’t really call her a howler monkey, though. She’s not howling yet.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know that screaming monkeys are a thing, so we’ll make do. And the operative term is yet .”
As much as it hurts to admit, he’s right - after a shower and a couple hours’ nap, Rory feels… not quite like a new woman, but at least prepared to enter the fray for another round. Lately, that’s enough of a win. When she wanders back downstairs, Jess sits outside on a park bench with Ivy shaded in her carrier from the worst of the summer sun. His foot absentmindedly rocks the carrier back and forth periodically as he reads a well-worn paperback whose cover she can’t make out. 
He looks up as soon as the bell on the diner door jingles, putting the book aside when he sees Rory stepping down. Blessedly, Ivy’s cries have ceased for the moment. “Don’t get too excited,” Jess cautions her. “Think she just cried herself out for the moment. I’m not remotely confident she won’t start again once she wakes up.”
“I’ll take what I can get.” Rory gladly collapses onto the bench beside him, caving to the urge to lean into his body and rest her head on his shoulder. “Thanks for this. I clearly needed it.”
Jess just hums in response at first. They sit in silence for several minutes, just soaking in the day and watching preparations for whatever the carnival of the month might be in the town square, before he finally uses his words. “That’s not your fault, you know,” he assures her. “Babies are just like that. They go through spurts where it’s all crying all the time. You know that, from Lane’s and Paris’ kids.”
“I know,” Rory sighs. “I just didn’t realize how… helpless I’d feel. All the sleep deprivation and parental instinct and everything combining into straight up panic. I just felt like it was something I had to figure out, you know? I mean, this probably isn’t the last time.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to do it on your own. Call your mom, or Lane, or Luke, see if they’ll give you a hand for a couple of hours. Hell, give me a call, I’ll drive up if I have to. You don’t have to do it alone.”
“I know.” The moment sits between them as Rory processes. He’s right, of course; so often these past years, he’s been the voice of reason when she needs it most. “Thanks, Jess.”
“Not a big deal.”
Rory finally finds the light way out of this, and she takes it. “So, did Miss Patty or Babette happen to see you during your babysitting adventure?”
He groans. “Put it this way: we both should brace for some real creative comments in the next few weeks, and I for one plan to make myself scarce.”
———
She thinks about her grandfather a lot.
Richard had been such a steady figure in her life since the age of 15; for all of the heart and health problems he'd had in that time, he’d always seem invincible. Timeline - like he’d always been there, and would always be there. His death had been a shock, no matter how much it shouldn’t have been. Grandpa had believed in her so strongly too, that she could do anything she set her mind to. Of course, Rory thinks he probably never would have guessed she’d wind up here, after a life with everything so carefully planned.
“What do you think Grandpa would have thought of this?” she asks her grandmother during a more vulnerable moment. Emily’s Nantucket cottage isn’t even remotely as grand as the Hartford house had been, but there’s something more homey about it, and there’s still plenty of room for Rory and Ivy to come stay a few days over the October break. The sea breeze and change of scenery has sparked words in a way Rory hadn’t anticipated, but fully intends to take advantage of, and Emily loves the chance to spend time with her great-granddaughter, even if the ‘great’ makes her nose scrunch up in a very particular way. It aches a little for Rory to watch, knowing her grandmother probably wanted this back when Rory was a baby; then again, knowing the way Emily had wanted to raise Lorelai in their upper crust image, and gladly offered some of those same trappings to Rory, maybe this is for the best. Richard’s death has fractured Emily, but it’s softened her too, as much as that’s possible for Emily - made her loosen up, live in the moment more and worry about appearances less. 
(Emily has offered, more than once and in a way veering towards insistence, to host Rory and Ivy here at the cottage for as long as they liked, but Rory keeps finding ways to turn her down. As much as she understands and accepts Emily’s desire to be involved in her great-granddaughter’s young life in a way she couldn’t be involved in Rory’s for so long, Rory understands, too, all the reasons why Lorelai set out on her own in the first place. She doesn’t quite understand where she’s going right now, but Rory knows that’s something she’ll have to figure out for herself. Emily, for better or for worse, wants the best for those she loves, and has always believed the best is a mirror image of the life she leads. That life now is different in so many ways from the one she was living before Richard died, but the urge is still there - and Rory isn’t sure she’s ready to spend her life in Nantucket, talking about whales. No, for now, a series of short visits is much better.)
“What do you mean?” Emily asks absently, comparing the look of two vases on a sideboard that look entirely identical to Rory. 
“I mean, this probably isn’t where he saw me going. I can’t imagine what he’d think about me writing a book about the way I grew up. I just… do you think he’d be proud of me?”
Her grandmother sets both vases down with a gentleness that is contradictory to the way she crosses to Rory with determination in every movement. “Rory,” she says, placing her hands on Rory’s sweatshirt-clad shoulders, “your grandfather was always proud of you. Always . Even if we didn’t imagine this would be the path you’d take, I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would make him anything less than proud, and delighted you were his granddaughter.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course. And I feel the same way.” With a last squeeze to Rory’s shoulders, Emily lets go and crosses back to her decorating with a smile. “Of course, after those years teaching, he would have edited your manuscript with a colored pen in hand. I’ll do you the favor of declining that form of editing.”
Rory laughs, knowing her grandmother is right; Richard had loved teaching those econ classes, and had taken to it like a duck to water. He wouldn’t be able to help himself. “I like remembering him like that,” she admits. “Excited to learn and share. I loved having those moments with him.”
Emily smiles fondly, sadly. They’re all slowly learning how to live in a world without him. “I did too.”
———
I want to drink in a bar. My kitchen feels depressing , the text from Paris demands. Let me know your schedule.
(She’s never been much for requests.)
Tact and lack thereof aside, it’s good to see Paris; Rory is more-or-less glad to consider her old schoolmate one of her best friends, inexplicably, but they’ve always both been too busy to really keep up with anything more than the occasional text, conversations often winding up spaced out over the course of several days as both get pulled in every-which direction. Even if Rory doesn’t have the same work demands now, Paris definitely still does. While she’d been an invaluable resource while Rory was pregnant, insisting on providing her with the names of the best doctors out there, they’ve both been too busy with their own lives for more than the occasional call since. This is well overdue - especially with Paris’ kids with Doyle for the week and Ivy at Lorelai’s for the night.
They go out to New Haven and hit the bars around Yale in what is probably some kind of misguided attempt to reclaim their youth. It’s been ten years; they’re obviously not students anymore. But it’s fun to sit in a grimy bar for the night and pretend they’re not thinking about all the terrible terrible substances that have been spilled on every surface. 
They try to keep conversation light, to talk about books Rory’s read lately and Paris’ latest crazy client and all the little milestones their children are hitting. Albums they want to listen to and movies they want to see. Paris’ lengthy opinions about the bars near her in New York. All the little nothings that somehow form a lasting friendship. Maybe it’s the venue, though, or maybe it’s just an inevitability, but somehow they find themselves talking men over a third drink like they’re 22 again.
“I miss Doyle,” Paris confesses. “I miss my Doyle, not this cool screenwriting asshole he wants to turn into. He was a neurotic bastard, but he was my neurotic bastard, you know?”
“That’s the best description of Doyle I’ve heard in years,” Rory replies, examining her drink. It’s a garish blue - something that had seemed fun half a glass ago, but just seems questionable now. “So what, then - you guys going to get back together?”
“I don’t know. I mean, obviously I can’t bring that up. He’s the one who changed and suggested the stupid separation, he’s gotta be the one to fix it.”
(Rory isn’t entirely sure that’s how it works, but she knows better than to get into it with Paris when she’s stubborn about something.)
“What about you, though?” she continues, flagging down the bartender for a refill of her cosmo. “You aren’t still going to try and mend things with Logan, are you?”
“God no. I mean, obviously there’s love there, or there was, but that’s over. He’s not really… ready for all of this. Growing up in a way that doesn’t mean just following in his father’s footsteps.”
“I never really liked him, you know.”
Rory snorts. “Bullshit. You loved the banter.”
Paris toasts a concession. “Fine. But I never liked him after the bridesmaids debacle.”
“Fair enough.”
Rory thinks that’s it, as Paris reaches for the nachos on their appetizer platter. Well, not quite an appetizer platter; they’d just ordered all the finger food that was available and let it take up most of the table. Paris is full of surprises, though. “What about Jess?”
Rory tries not to accidentally inhale an ice cube. “What about Jess?”
“I mean, he’s been around, right? And looking hotter than ever.”
“Oh my god , Paris.”
“What? I’m just saying. No one would blame you. Or, you know, be surprised about you getting back together with your high school love who just happens to be an author. That’s better than any shitty script Doyle could come up with, even if it is a bit trite. I mean, he’s there all the time. And he’s still got that hair, right?”
“It is good hair,” Rory admits. Probably a sign she needs to switch to water. “Can we drop this, please? Nothing is going to happen.”
“If you say so, Gilmore.”
( Did you know that Paris has a thing for your hair? she texts after the fourth drink - in hot pink this time. 
What can I say, she’s a woman of taste , he responds.)
(And if Paris shoots her a smug look from the bar - well, she’d drunk texted Doyle too, so she has no room to judge.)
———
Some nights, they do nothing more than sit in the darkened diner with leftover pie and a coffee or beer, chatting the night away. It feels like old times, back when they were just a couple of idiots. It’s nice to pretend for a couple hours that they’re still those teenagers, and not a single mom still trying to figure out where she’s going and an acclaimed author ignoring his next deadline. There’s an irony, she thinks, to the situation they find themselves in now - he, the man who has it all together, and her, an increasingly hot mess. It’s not how anyone would have expected they’d end up. 
She mentions it to him one night, only for Jess to snort in amusement. “Ok, you are not a hot mess,” he tells her. “Not even close.”
“You sure about that? Because it sure feels like my life is a disaster most days.”
“I’ve seen hot mess Rory,” he tells her. “This isn’t it. You go big or go home. Last time you descended to a genuine hot mess, you stole a fucking yacht .”
“It wasn’t a yacht, it was a boat,” Rory mumbles in protest, even as she smiles behind her mug of decaf. 
“It was a yacht, and you know it. You stole it from a marina that wouldn’t accept anything as mundane as a boat . I can break out the dictionary if you want, but you know I’m right. My point is ,” he plows ahead before she can interrupt, “you are not nearly the disaster you think you are right now. This is just… a stumbling block. You’ll figure it out.”
“I’ll have to,” Rory replies with a sly grin. “No yachts to steal in Stars Hollow.”
(As much as she may laugh it off, and he may let her, it strikes Rory’s heart in some particular way to hear the confidence Jess has in her, the way he’s so quick to assure her that she’s not entirely off track and adrift - that this is just a detour. There’s something different about hearing it from him, and not from her mother or grandmother. Jess always seems to be the one to steer her back on track - and this seems to be just another case.)
———
Rory has never been one of those obnoxious new year, new me! types, but she’s veering dangerously close this time. After a year of so much change and uncertainty, it feels like a chance to turn over a new leaf and rediscover so much of the direction that she’s lost. 
Though it feels like she still might jinx it, it feels like things are finally coming back together. Chilton has contracted her to teach her class in the spring semester again, and she’s picked up some work writing book reviews for an online publication. That feels a little like coming back to her roots, in a way - she started at a little online setup, and now, after years of chasing glossy magazines and newsprint, she’s back here again. But the assignment is enjoyable, and money is money - especially since she’s got her eye on a small house for rent near where Lane lives, in a neighborhood of quaint bungalows. She’ll always be grateful to Luke for his generosity in letting her live above the diner for so long, but it’s not workable long term. Ivy is growing every day; while Rory’s homecoming back to Stars Hollow has brought into focus that this is the place she wants to raise her daughter, they both need more space. Ivy deserves her own room, maybe a backyard to run around in, and Rory deserves a door she can close while her baby is napping. 
Most exciting of all, Rory finishes her book in early February. At least, in the moment, it feels most exciting of all - it’s been months of blood, sweat and tears, but it’s done . There’s a feeling of relief as the last period hits the page, even if she consciously knows there’s still so much editing to do. Writing the book, about her and her mom and the way they’ve lived, had been emotionally draining and emotionally freeing all at once, and calling it finished feels like an accomplishment like she hasn’t found professionally in so long. 
The next time Jess drives up to town, Rory practically dances around the kitchen in anticipation, waiting for him to knock on the door. There had been so many people who supported her during this weird time in her life, and then when she decided to write this book, but Jess sits high on that list. The idea had originated with him, and he’s prodded and encouraged her the whole way; it feels right that he see it first, even if he’s made her promise this whole time to shop it around to bigger publishing houses instead of just asking him and Truncheon to publish it. 
“Someone’s happy,” he comments when she opens the door with a huge grin. “Do I even want to know, or did your mom share another convoluted sex joke?”
“You’re going to want to hear this,” Rory promises. “And no, it’s not a joke. Sexual or otherwise. Close your eyes.”
Jess rolls his eyes first, but he complies and even smiles a bit. For full dramatic effect, Rory had printed the book onto real paper - dozens and hundreds of pages, all off the Gazette office’s ancient printer over the course of a day that she’ll probably wind up paying for in some way later. It’s worth it , to stand here with all those pages in a binder clip with a red pen. With a final flutter of nerves, she shoves it all into his chest.
Jess’ arms close around her offering on instinct; his eyes open to actually see what’s going on a second later. Looking at the pages in his arms, comprehension dawns slowly, and his own rare grin spreads. “You finished your book?”
“I finished the book!” Rory squeals, not caring nearly as much as she should about disturbing her currently quiet daughter.
Uncharacteristically, Jess sweeps her into a hug - a big, swooping thing where her feet leave the floor and he spins her about a bit. Those arm muscles, you know. “I’m so proud of you,” he says. “This is amazing . You’re a genius, Rory.”
“You haven’t read it yet,” she laughs as he sets her back down. “It could be absolute trash. I could have slandered your good name. I could have —”
“Yeah, but I know you didn’t. You’re Rory Gilmore. Obviously it’s going to be great.”
There’s a moment there, where he looks at her with pride and awe and so much shared joy that Rory thinks it would be so easy to lean up and kiss him. And maybe it’s the moment, the adrenaline, but she wants that. Not letting herself think too much, she starts inching upwards, as he starts inching down —
And then Ivy shrieks from her playpen - a happy sound, likely picking up on the joy bouncing around the room, but enough to shatter the moment.
“I’d better check on her,” Rory says weakly. “But go nuts. Tear it apart, tell me what I need to fix. I want to hear what you think.”
“Included the pen and all,” he tosses back. If Rory’s not mistaken, his voice is a little uneven. Did she do that? God, she did that. She can’t do that.
So, like so many times before - Rory bolts to avoid talking about what just almost happened. 
(Even if it’s just to the other side of the room.) 
———
“What should I do?” Rory begs her mom in the aftermath, pacing back and forth in the living room while Lorelai scrolls through online sewing patterns. She’s never been entirely confident in affairs of the heart anyways, having maneuvered herself into a mess a few too many times - with everyone but Jess, that is. Maybe that’s why she needs advice so badly; not only is there Ivy to consider, but her and Jess’ relationship is the last one she hasn’t outright screwed up yet. 
“Well, what do you want to do?” Lorelai asks. Like a normal, reasonable person, who also maybe hasn’t had to think about this for the past ten years since she figured out her soulmate was right in front of her face. Rory’s never been so frustrated with Luke than in this moment, knowing he made the kind of commiseration she’s looking for impossible. 
“I wanted to kiss him!”
“Then you should! Next time you see him and the moment is right!”
“But I can’t!”
Lorelai dramatically closes the laptop. “Are we circling? I feel like we’re circling. Why are you asking for advice if you know what you supposedly can or can’t do?” When that produces no useful response, she plows forward. “Okay, new tactic. Why can’t you?”
Rory sighs. “I just feel like… I’ve barely got things figured out, you know? And he does. I don’t want to fuck things up for him. My life right now is a mess .”
“Ok, I’m going to stop you right there. If he thinks you and Ivy being in his life is anything less than a damn miracle, then there’s your answer, that’s my opinion, do not pass go, do not move forward with this.”
“But it’s Jess.”
“Right, it’s Jess. And as much as it might pain for me to admit, I have gotten to know Jess a lot more in the past few years since he got his act together, and I have trouble believing he’s that particular brand of asshole. That guy’s been around, and happy to be here, since the moment you moved back home. Job or no job, kid or no kid.”
“But what do I do with that?” Rory whines. 
Her mom sighs. “With full awareness of me, queen of avoidance, telling you this - you talk to him, Ror. I know you’ve got plenty of words, my darling daughter, my mini me, my legacy. Use them, for the love of all things holy. Comprende?” Rory nods, not capable of much else. Especially when the solution is supposedly so simple. “Cool. Now sit down and convince me that I have enough on my plate and don’t need to try making baby clothes even if they really are stinking cute and the whole matched ruffle trend in the kids stores drives me nuts.”
———
When Lorelai suggested that Rory and Jess talk, she probably imagined a calm, planned, adult conversation. For better or worse, though, this is Rory - that was never going to happen. So instead of easing into the topic carefully, she blurts out it out in the diner, the last night before Jess drives back to Philadelphia in the morning. 
“I want to talk about what happened the other day,” she all but demands when Jess gets up to make more coffee. 
His steps falter with the carafe in hand, before moving again to get fresh water. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Well, I mean… we almost kissed.”
“I know. I was there.”
“So what does that mean? ”
That finally gets him to set the container down, bracing both hands on the counter. “I don’t know Rory. I don’t know. I’m not going to stand here and pretend I don’t feel something, because I do, but you are… You’ve been through a lot this year, and I don’t know that I want to be the guy that you latch onto because you’re lonely and I’m here. I don’t think I can do that.”
Rory is struck speechless for a moment at the very idea. She’d never even thought of that; these feelings have been percolating in her for so long, but she’s never given him any indication of that. Of course he thinks this is coming out of nowhere. “Jess…”
“If you want to be something, give this a second shot, yeah, of course. I’m there, I’m all in. I’m your guy. But I want you to be sure about that, Rory. I… I haven’t been yearning or pining or carrying a torch or any other bullshit you’d find in a romance novel, but I figured out a long time ago that I like my life with you in it. I like that I get you and you get me. I love your kid and I mostly like your mom. So I’m sure. But if this is just because I’m available and here —”
“But don’t you see? That’s part of the point!” Rory interrupts. “I mean, you’re making it sound like such a bad thing, but that fact that yeah, you’re here - that’s huge . And it’s not the whole reason I want to get into this, but - I mean, you’ve been supporting me through this book. You are entirely unphased by the fact that I have a kid with someone else who isn’t here. You’ve got this faith me I still don’t fully understand, and… Yeah, I want this. I want this because you’re a more mature version of that brilliant, sarcastic bastard I fell in love with as a teenager, but I want it too because you want to be here.” She finally pauses for breath. “Does that make sense?”
Jess nods silently. Nothing more.
Time to babble - by far the worst trait she inherited from her mom. “So… is any of that a deal breaker? Because honestly, I wouldn’t blame you, that was definitely a lot to dump all at once. But also, you should know what you’re getting into, you have almost fifteen years of experience listening to me word vomit, so if you didn’t think that’d continue —”
In the time that she runs her mouth, Jess crosses back to her side. “Would you just… shut up for two minutes?”
And he kisses her - takes her face between his hands and brings their mouths together, like she’s fantasized about more than she’d like to admit. It’s like falling back in time in the best way, relearning the shape of each other’s lips and the way they fit together. No chicken pecks here. Rory gladly twines her arms around his neck to pull him as close as possible as his hands readjust, one sliding back into her hair as the other drops to grasp at her hip. When he gently nips at her top lip, she can’t help but giggle - giggle, like a teenager again! - before diving back in to deepen the kiss. Like so many things with Jess, this feels right , like they’ve been leading back to it forever. 
They finally break apart only when Rory becomes aware of the fact that they’re still in the closed diner, perfectly in view of the darkened street.
“As good as you remember?” she asks cheekily.
Jess leans his head down to rest his forehead against hers. “Better.” They take a moment just to enjoy the shared space before he continues. “Any regrets?”
Rory smiles. “None. I’m sure. I think I’m exactly where I need to be.”
And for the first time in forever - she knows that’s true. 
19 notes · View notes
poindexterfics · 5 years ago
Text
Bathing with their S/O Pt. 1
My first time writing some imagines as a person who normally RPs. Due to someone such as I only being a fan since X, do inform me of any fundamental character mistakes, as they are quite possible. All constructive criticism is welcome. With that, I thank you. Please enjoy. 
The topic was originally showering with s/o, until different ideas came to mind. Warnings: Slight NSFW themes, slightly forceful Dark Raiden
Having rewritten many of these several different times, I went through a bit of music. And oddly enough, “It’s Raining Men” really flowed with these gifs at the time...Guys I’m crying
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Kuai Liang
Using up all of the hot water was just part of the packaged deal if you wanted to bathe with your Cryomancer boyfriend. It was worth it though, being able to spend some intimate time with him. You undressed while the water was heating up, climbing in at the end where the scalding liquid would not touch you. Kuai would come and save the day, the hiss of the cooling process letting you know it was safe to move closer. And move closer you did, the cooled water rushing over you after it cascaded over him. A ghost of a smile crossed his features as he held you in a tight embrace, his chin resting on the top of your head. His hardass persona melted away when it came to you, he couldn’t help but be an absolute softie in moments like these. “Kuai,” You’d hum sweetly, batting your eyelashes. To a man with experience, it was a dangerous sign. But, Kuai Liang, Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, was not experienced with the cunning tactics of romantic partners. The shower was where he became easily convinced of anything you said or asked, and you’d take advantage. Letting your fingers trace his muscles, you had him kiss you while you thought of the best way to articulate your question. But, perhaps being blunt was just the best way to go about it, especially since the man was already hooked. As he started to help you with your hair, you could only purr in a devilish fashion, knowing you had him right where you wanted him. “What is it?” He’d finally ask, the curiosity getting to him. You couldn’t help the smirk.
“May I have a cat?”
A blink here, a blink there. But, he quickly nodded when you traced his muscles again. “Of course, my love,” He’d answer, before shivering when you moved to reward him. There were perks when it came to being soft, he found. 
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Hanzo Hasashi
Being physical with a boyfriend like Hanzo was only ever difficult during the summer months. However, you found ways to work around such an obstacle. You normally weren’t one for bathing in cold water, but, it was all worth it to overcome the objective. When Hanzo followed behind you into the shower, the very heat of his body negated the temperature completely. You faced him to press your body against his, making absolutely sure he warmed you up. It caused him to smile at such clinginess, using a finger to tilt your chin up and kiss you. Grandmaster of the Shirai Ryu, he had worked hard and kept calm the vengeful, hell-spawned spirit inside of himself. But you... he never could figure out whether you were helping or harming in that plight. The more he held you, the more he loved on you, the more he could feel himself grow more possessive. Oh, how the hellfire gripped him, a burning lust building. His eyes grew milky, but he inhaled deeply to try and relax himself, brown and white constantly shifting. You weren’t being observant because you never knew it was an issue with him. You turned slightly to get your shampoo, your slick body still up against your boyfriend’s. Noisily, the bottle crashed against the floor of the shower as you were pinned back by your wrists, your cry of surprise interrupted by a bruising kiss as a blush stretched across your cheeks. Hanzo was, normally, so kind and gentle when it came to these intimate moments with you. But, the one who had you now was not Hanzo. 
That night, Scorpion did not allow you to sleep much. Had it mattered, though? You were his, and he was yours. He and Hanzo would not have it any other way. It may have been a surprise at first, but, you learned to accept and also love that side of your boyfriend. The trust you shared with one another grew almost tenfold in only a few hours.
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Raiden
Bathing with your Elder God boyfriend... it never came easy. As shy as he was with the general idea of your naked form, it was a wonder you could even get him to participate in the action of kissing. But, then again, that had taken you awhile to get him comfortable with. Raiden was a bit of a prude, and on more than one occasion had to consult with the Elder Gods between each of the sessions you did to try and gradually chip away at his unease. It could get a little frustrating from time to time, but, you knew that patience came with great rewards, and, as you had found out, nothing was truer with your boyfriend. It was an unusually stormy night when you decided to have a quick shower. Alone, you took care of your hair and your body, enjoying the warmth of the water flowing over you. You were almost ready to get out, until the sound of the door opening froze you in your tracks. The bashful Thunder God, ever so slowly, slinked into the shower behind you. Your heart hammered in your chest, knowing not to speak or risk startling him away. His hesitant arms wrapped around you, while a heated face buried itself into the crook of your neck. Neither of you said anything, just basked in the water and in each other’s love while the storm raged outside. When his nerves calmed, he found himself absolutely adoring holding you like he was, unable to help but plant a kiss on your shoulder. The storm, noticeably, eased up. 
“Can we... can we do this again?” He whispered, your response an eager nod. It would be the beginning of the next chapter in your relationship with him.
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Dark Raiden
From there, you didn’t have much to complain about. Raiden became more comfortable around you, so much so he was finally willing to indulge in his own desires. But, his favorite would always be the shower for which brought you two even closer. It became an unspoken agreement, you jumping in just before he walked in for the usual, scheduled visit to your home. Safe as you were from the troubles of his work, much to his own due diligence in that, you were naïve to the true stress he constantly faced. So much so, that his dark persona was unheard of when it came to you. One night, you had expected the door to quietly open like it usually did. Already undressed, you giddily stepped into the water, only to jump a mile at the noise of his arrival to your bathroom. Raiden had swung the door open so hard that you were sure the knob had cracked a hole in the wall. Before you could speak, he was upon you. He roughly spun you around and pinned you to shower wall, your body quivering from the treatment. “Rai-“ You got cut off by your own squeal, a hand having smacked your ass. You could only whimper submissively in confusion, looking over your shoulder at your much more dominant lover. Red, lust-filled eyes watched you in return. Oh, he so very much adored that. The way you submitted so easily... it was a stroke to his pride.
“You are going to serve your god,” It wasn’t a request, it was a command. “Do I make myself clear?” Your answer was but a simple nod, feeling excited by the sudden change in your boyfriend that you had never encountered before, and by what he had in store for you.
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Johnny Cage
King of Hollywood himself, Johnny looked forward to those peaceful moments he could have with you after a long day of shooting for a film or fulfilling a mission. Already having you naked and wet without him having to do anything was just a bonus. Setting his stuff down on the couch, he visited your shared bathroom and gazed at your form through the fogged up glass. “Are you going to keep staring or are you going to join me?” You ponder aloud after awhile, ever so used to the little games he’d play. “Do you need to ask?” Came his sassy remark. Much as he liked to think he was a big shot, he knew just as well as you did that he was wrapped around your finger. Off came his clothes in a scattered mess on the floor, another body joining the shower. Turning to face him, you couldn’t help the small smile when you noticed his stage makeup was still on. He must have rushed home to see you, which was always so flattering. “Are you going to marvel over this work of art or are you going to kiss me?” He asked in a very smug manner, copying the format of your question from before. “Do you need to ask?” You mimicked, pecking him on the lips to entice him as your hands greedily stroked over his toned abs. Eagerly grabbing at your waist, he pulled you flush against himself as he took over the kiss, backing you up against the shower wall. Your nails dug into his shoulder blades from the pure delight of having him so attentive, a small gasp escaping you when your legs were made to hook around your boyfriend’s waist. Johnny tended to be straight forward, but he always could do it in a way that would still surprise you, months into your relationship.
You tamed Hollywood himself, and he’d reward you for it.
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Kenshi
He may have been blind, but it did not prevent your boyfriend from seeing you as the beauty that you were. And being the telepath that he also was, he could read just when you were feeling the most insecure about yourself. The best remedy for such a thing? A romantic, at-home date. 
Instead of a steamy shower, a hot bath surrounded by candles waited for you after a long, stressful day. Rose petals marked the surface of the water and dotted the floor, forcing a smile on your face. Like a gentleman, the swordsman helped you undress and get into the tub, then provided quite the show of himself disrobing. “Do I please you?” He asked teasingly, knowing just how much you were blushing. “You’re being so cheesy, Kenshi,” You snickered, happy that he was finally getting into the water with you. He found it cute that you hadn’t noticed his endgame of getting you to unwind and laugh. But, then again, Kenshi was as considerate as a significant other could be. No stone was left unturned, no opportunity missed to make you happy. “I am, aren’t I?” He chuckled, pulling you to his chest as he relaxed with you. You obliged and snuggled into him, your steady breathing tickling his skin as you seemed to doze off. Gaining a grin of his own, he kissed the top of your head, enjoying the warmth of the water with you while it lasted. 
When it was time to get out, he lifted you bridal style, gently shushing you when you groggily whined at him. He toweled the both of you down with some difficulty before getting you into bed. There had been a cheesy petal heart, but, he did not mind messing it up when he had already gotten you to be your normal, happy self. The rest of the night was just him holding you-- until he himself was lulled into sleep by your ever so soothing warmth.
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Erron Black
Your gunslinging boyfriend often came in muddy from his bounty hunting adventures, and you’d have to be the one to get his ass in the shower before he ruined your apartment. “Listen, sugar. I’ll only get in if you follow,” He grinned as you agreed and violently shoved him into the bathroom to keep the dirt from trekking any further into your domicile. “Damn it, Erron,” You seethed through clenched teeth. “I just finished cleaning, too!”
To Erron, you resembled an upset Pomeranian. All of the cute, none of the intimidation. “You know it gets me hot and bothered when you’re mad, baby doll,” He teased, ever so amused at your reaction. Nostril flare, puffed cheeks, and an annoyed stare. Suffice it to say, he knew how to piss you off. But, he also knew how to wriggle himself right back into your good graces. He waited until after he had undressed and you were halfway through the process before giving you a kiss from behind, right on the collarbone. “I’m not in the mood, cowboy,” You huffed, but, couldn’t deny the racing of your heart. You knew what he was doing. It was the same shit he had pulled last time. And the time before that. And the time- “Could have fooled me, darlin’,” He hummed as he pulled you into the water with him once you had discarded your last item of clothing. You yelped at the speed of it, loosing your footing and slipping into his arms. His handsome chuckle resonated in the small space, watching you get even more frustrated. “You..you..!” He had done this last time, too! Yet, you couldn’t resist pulling his head down so you could reach up and kiss him. You missed the bastard, and he knew that. But with the way he held you, you also knew he shared the same sentiment. You were his one and only.
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Kano
“Kano.”
“... Kano.”
“Kano!”
“Fuck, what do you want?” Came the grumpy reply you were expecting. Your boyfriend was completely hungover and exhausted from last night’s activities with you, his face buried in your chest. The man was slightly crushing you, and frankly you were tired of him drooling on your bare skin. “Don’t you use that tone with me,” You snarled, pushing at him with all the might you could muster in your sore arms. Finally roused from his sleepy state, Kano couldn’t help but laugh at you, making you hit him in the face with your discarded shirt. “Nothing personal, love. But, you couldn’t stop me even if you wanted to,” The mercenary stated in regards to your previous demand. “Okay? But, I know that you love me enough that you’ll stop on your own,” You pouted as you pushed him into the bathroom to share a shower.
“Says who?”
“Kano.”
“Fine, fine. Grab a man by his balls, why don’t you,” He sighed, unable to keep down the smile that tugged on his lips. He still couldn’t believe that he had found someone like you to enjoy, as shitty of a person as he was. He didn’t deserve you, and yet, here you were. He normally didn’t get mushy, but, once in a blue moon he liked to reflect on his life and the relationship he had with you. “...You okay?” You asked in concern, surprised that your boyfriend hadn’t tried the usual sexual advance in the shower. “Hm? Oh, yes... I’m better than okay,” He replied, surprising you even further now that he was helping you wash your hair. No longer did he see you as a person he could fool around with. No, he was truly seeing you for the gem that you were, and he would be damned before he would ever let you go.
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Kabal
When the mercenary wasn’t spoiling you with his riches in every possible way, Kabal would spoil you with his love and affection. It wasn’t everyday that one found a partner who didn’t care about appearances, after all. 
As much as you would try and downplay yourself, Kabal would have none of it. “Kabal, babe, really, it was no big deal-”
“Ah, ah, ah,” A gloved finger was pressed against your lips, silencing you. Playfully you bit at it, but, relented. “Fine... what is it that you wanted to show me?” You asked curiously. The man had spoken of rewarding you for the kiss you had given him the night before. Was it overreacting a bit? To you, yes, because you had given him plenty of kisses in the same spot and in other places. But to him, it was the least he could do for his special someone. He led you into the bathroom, where your jaw instantly dropped. Before your eyes was a computerized steam shower, sauna, and jacuzzi all in one, with a little flatscreen tv included! You could feel the stress melt out of your body just looking at the damn thing. “K-Kabal... I don’t even know what to say,” You whispered. No boyfriend had ever been so kind, let alone would gift you as lavishly as he did. “Then don’t say anything, baby. Just try it out with me,” He whispered huskily, wrapping an arm around your waist. You could only nod in excitement, beginning to undress in front of him, much to his own bashful delight. 
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Kotal Kahn
The royal bath had been prepared and scented with many a luxurious herb, candles lit to give off a soothing, yet romantic vibe. Kotal himself enjoyed such things, even without the presence of company. But, now that you were here, he was inclined to focus on your needs. As you disrobed and entered the water with him, he pulled you closer to himself in an effort to help you relax. While you appreciated everything your Ko’atal did for you, the constant supervision of bodyguards had truly gotten under your skin. This was one of the few moments you got to spend privately with your man, and you were going to enjoy it. 
You closed your eyes as you rested against Kotal, the Outworld emperor sighing in contentment. 
“Mm?” You hummed as you peeked a glance up at him, having mistaken his sigh for something being wrong.
“Rest, my love. Everything is fine,” He replied, smiling at how beautiful you were. He cupped some of the warm water and brushed it through your hair while you closed your eyes and complied with his request, letting out your own sigh. “...The guards grow tiresome,” You finally stated.
“They do, but, it is for your protection. I cannot allow any harm to befall you,” He reasoned, using a few well placed strokes to convince you of such a truth. Biting your lower lip, you took the time to feel his muscles, the Kahn watching you ever so closely. He had completely forgotten that he had asked you to take it easy, in favor of marveling your form and perhaps indulging you further. He wouldn’t admit it to you since you had seemed so happy, but, there were a few guards posted just outside the door, who could hear everything that was going on.
The two of you shared a romantic evening regardless, him deceiving you only for you to have less to worry about and more to enjoy. You were his everything, and that was more than enough to convince him that he need not feel guilt. 
*****
And that’s the end of part one! Part two, if desired, will contain Kung Lao, Ermac, Shao Kahn, Kollector, Rain, Reptile, Bi-Han/Noob Saibot, Quan Chi, and Shinnok! The 10th character could be voted in :)
Also I would just like to point out that the computerized (Triborg: NUT) shower looks so cool. Search that thing up on Amazon.
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endof-theline · 3 years ago
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Day 24- Tropetember: Body Swap
Day 24 of super early Tropetember with Body Swap and a little Bonding! If there's one thing that Tony hates, it's magic. Magic has never done anything good for him and that certainly remains true now.
On Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32797816
If there's one thing that Tony hates, it's magic. Magic has never done anything good for him and that certainly remains true now.
The first thing Tony opened his eyes too was Bruce hovering over him looking anxious which was never a good sign after coming off the battlefield, the last thing he could remember was a flash of blue light, Steve trying to shield him and then both of them falling to the ground before blacking out.
"Hey, don't speak, are you in pain?" Bruce asked, making him frown straight away, but he shook his head as he scented the air out of instinct. Tony sneezed straight away at all of the powerful scents in the air despite being in Medical which was meant to be scentless, he could scent an Omega in pain, he could catch Bruce's scent that he normally couldn't unless he was angry and he was hit with the overwhelming smell of chemicals. Bruce looked worried as Tony pushed himself up and kept scenting the air, there was something wrong and he couldn't tell fully what it was just yet.
"Can you tell me your name?" Bruce asked quickly that caught his attention and went to argue with him instantly, but Bruce held up his hand with an awkward smile "Just humor me"
"Tony Stark" He grumbled before clearing his throat, it sounded deeper than normal even after he's been asleep. Bruce just nodded slowly before a groan from his side alerted him and Bruce rushed to the other person who Tony figured was the Omega in pain he could smell.
Everyone knew that Tony didn't care about people's gender or designation when he was looking for a partner, for the night or longer, but it was rare for Tony to find someone's scent to be this good. Even with the pain and stress scent over the top, the Omega's scent was amazing and Tony instantly wanted to know who it was. He was the only Omega in the Avengers so he knew it wasn't the team, the only person with a scent that Tony loved was Steve's and this new scent was definitely up there.
"Hey, can you tell me what hurts?" Bruce asked before the Omega bolted upright and let out another groan "Easy, I understand you're panicking but hurting yourself won't help"
"What the fuck?!" The Omega blurted out and Tony whipped his head around because he knew that voice, he knew that voice better than anyone else in the world. He turned his head to come face-to-face with himself as they both stared at each other in shock "Bruce, explain"
The fake Tony growled at the Beta scientist which made real Tony growl in return at the challenging noise before catching himself and choking on the noise, he had never once growled in response to a challenge and he barely ever saw growling as a challenge anyway.
"Okay so, this isn't what you think it is" Bruce started off which made Tony narrow his eyes in suspicion "You don't have a clone, you've swapped bodies. Tony, you're in Steve's and Steve, you're in Tony's"
Tony's eyes immediately shot down to his chest as his hand flew up to find the arc reactor and only found it missing, he took it the muscles of his arms before looking over to Steve who was covering the reactor with his hand and a spooked look on his face as his eyes shot to Tony's.
"Oh god" Tony groaned as he buried his face in his hands, he heard a high whine and his brain immediately told him to comfort the Omega making him yelp "Shit!"
Tony's hand went to his throat and felt the Alpha's Apple there which immediately confirmed his thoughts, he heard that same whine again and he quickly realised that it was Steve whining because of all the distress scents he was pushing out so he quickly tried to reign it back in.
"Before you go, I want to run some tests to make sure that your bodies are running as normal" Bruce said as Steve stood up, scowling when Bruce pushed him back towards the bed but climbed back into the bed reluctantly.
Both Steve and Tony scowled their ways through the medical tests and never said a word to each other the whole time, Bruce was churning out calming, peaceful scents to try and keep the pair settled and while Tony appreciated the effort he also just wanted to take in Steve's current scent.
Steve stormed out of Medical as soon as Bruce let him and Bruce raised an eyebrow curiously when Tony hung back, but Tony just slid off the bed slowly and looked at the floor awkwardly.
"What is it, Tony?" Bruce asked with a smile, apparently he could still read Tony like a book even in a different body "I can't promise that I'll be able to answer it, but I'll try"
"In Steve's body, my scent is really good and I was wondering if that's what he smells" Tony explained as he dodged Bruce's curious eyes and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, Bruce knew that Tony had a crush on Steve and found his scent amazing as well so he knew exactly why Tony was asking.
"I don't want to get your hopes up, but based on what I've seen then it's very likely that you're smelling exactly what Steve usually does" Bruce told him carefully to try and not get his hopes up too high, Tony grinned at him excitedly and Bruce immediately knew that Tony had already gotten his hopes way too high already.
Tony immediately searched for Steve and found him in the gym, growling at the punching bags as he threw punches as hard as he could and it wasn’t swinging as hard as Steve’s punches usually made it. Tony strolled over and easily caught the bag to make Steve look up with a snarl, his teeth on show and his eyes flashing with challenge, which in turn made Tony growl back involuntarily in a show of dominance over the Omega.
“What do you want, Tony?” Steve snarled up at him and Tony stepped between him and the bag which pushed him back and made the smaller puff out his chest.
“I’m not the enemy Steve, I’m stuck in this situation too” Tony snapped down at him as he caught hold of his hands, it took Tony a second to continue as he felt his own hands in Steve’s undamaged hands “Promise me, while we are stuck like this, we won’t do anything to harm the other’s body. I know I can’t do much to hurt your body but you could do a lot of damage to mine”
“Of course, Tony, I would never!” Steve’s anger disappeared in an instant as he immediately looked at him with fond eyes, his scent going sweet instead of the sour anger he had.
“Then wrap your hands because you splitting your knuckles is a ten minute issue but a long term issue for me” Tony cooed as he made sure his scent was soft and comforting to make sure Steve didn’t take offense from his words, Steve sighed as he shook his head slightly and looked down at their hands so Tony carefully moved to hold Steve’s hands up but show him the angry, red skin across his knuckles.
“I’m sorry Tony, I didn’t even think about it” Steve smiled sadly as he slipped his hands away from Tony and sat down on the bench beside them and dropped his head into his hands “Being in your body reminds me of before the serum and how bad I felt, it’s just getting to me”
“Don’t suppose being an Omega helps at all” Tony teased and sat down beside him, gently putting his hand on Steve’s back and felt the smaller lean into the touch as he looked over with a tiny smile on his face.
“It’s strange, but I think that it's actually helping me a bit. The world is very different like this” Steve hummed before leaning close to Tony and sniffing at him curiously, Tony grinned as he leant forward to let Steve scent him better “Do I normally smell this good to you?”
“Uh, probably, I don’t like many people’s scents but your scent has always been good to me” Tony chuckled awkwardly and let Steve shuffle closer as he looked around the gym, the lights were almost stinging at his eyes and the scents in here were almost enough to knock him out “Is the world always this much to you?”
“Pretty much, you learn to block it out and filter things out” Steve nodded as he rested his head on Tony’s arm, Tony knew that this was most likely the Omega part of his body that was telling Steve that was a good idea but unfortunately the Alpha part of Steve’s body was telling him to tug the Omega closer and claim him.
“Wh-When’s your rut due, Steve?” Tony asked nervously and felt how Steve tensed and jerked up to stare at Tony in a panic “My heat is a few weeks out, but if we don’t have this sorted…” Tony trailed off awkwardly as he didn’t know what the end of that sentence could be without freaking Steve out.
“My rut is about the same, I mean we either have to deal with it alone or with each other right? No one outside of this definitely” Steve said as his face flushed and he avoided Tony’s eyes, even as Tony nodded in agreement “I’ve never been with an Omega in heat”
“Never been with an Alpha in rut” Tony shrugged and frowned when Steve looked at him surprised “I like sex but I’m not an idiot Steve, I know how dangerous Alpha ruts can be for an Omega”
“Right, sorry” Steve quickly ducked his head down and Tony hated the way his mind howled with joy at the submissive gesture “We should probably tell Bruce that we have a deadline”
“I’ll go, you wrap your hands and beat the shit outta some bags” Tony chuckled and patted Steve’s shoulder as he stood and paused briefly to adjust to the height difference before walking out the gym and going back to search out Bruce, trying hard not to actually howl about Steve finding his scent attractive too.
The next two weeks were spent awkwardly working out how to live in each other’s bodies while they tried to carry on with their normal lives, Steve found Tony’s body unable to go through the brutal training he tried to put it through while Tony found Steve’s strength hard to work with in the workshop when he was trying to be careful. The pair still were drawn together like a magnet and often found themselves curled up on the sofa together, Steve in Tony’s arms as Tony held him close to him and let out a soft rumble that was similar to an Omega’s purr.
Bruce and Thor worked hard on trying to find a solution for the pair, going between science and magic to reverse the efforts of the original spell that put them in this situation. They had tried a few different methods and nothing was working, Tony wouldn’t admit it but he was starting to give up on ever getting back into his own body. His heat was coming in the next four days and he could tell that Steve was panicking about it even if he was trying to play it cool, not that Tony wasn’t terrified to have to face Steve’s rut as well.
Tony wasn’t sure if the agreement he and Steve helped calm him or made him more anxious as they had agreed to ride out each other’s heat and rut together, since they both had no clue how to deal with each other’s body. Tony had almost swallowed his own tongue when he saw Steve’s body below the waist for the first time and he had made himself promise that he wasn’t going to touch anything above the knees and below his waist unless he had too.
Bruce burst into the common area with Thor at his heels and a very angry looking Loki following after him. The sudden action made Tony jerk to his feet with a snarl as Steve shuffled behind him, they were getting closer to their heat and rut and had been curled up together when the trio surprised them.
“Loki knows how to fix this!” Bruce chirped happily and Tony stopped growling straight away as Steve jumped to his feet excitedly, Thor just nudged Loki who rolled his eyes and flicked his hand carelessly towards them. A bright light took over Tony’s vision making him stumble back and fall over Steve who had staggered behind him, for a second he felt no pain but in the next second he was very aware of a crushing weight on his chest.
“Get the hell off me!” Tony barked as he shoved blindly and the weight suddenly jerked off his chest, letting him open his eyes to see Steve stood over him with a bright smile on his face. It took him a moment to realise that he was looking up to Steve, Steve in his real body “It worked! We’re back!”
Steve rushed forward and hugged Tony tight, the blonde sticking his nose into Tony’s neck and humming at the scent he found there. Tony heard Bruce laugh before three sets of footsteps rushed out the room, Steve pulling away shortly after to grin down at him “You don’t know how happy I am to see you!”
“Oh believe me, I’m pretty damn happy to see you too!” Tony laughed as he smiled just as brightly back at the blonde, he realised quickly that Steve was stilling holding his waist and hadn’t pulled completely away from him “Whatcha doing, Stevie?”
“Something I have wanted to do for weeks” Steve said proudly before dipping his head down and kissing Tony hungrily making Tony squeak but immediately kissed Steve back just as passionately, his arms wrapping around the blonde’s neck to bring him closer “How about we keep our deal?”
“Definitely keeping that deal, couldn’t pay me enough not to take that deal, wouldn’t let you back out if you tried” Tony rambled in response as he went up onto his tiptoes to try and reach Steve’s mouth again and just whined when the Alpha stretched out of his reach with a smirk.
“You have a collar so I don’t bond with you?” Steve asked, still smirking but with a serious look in his eyes that just made Tony pout up at him “Don’t sulk with me, I’ve wanted this for a long time but I don’t want you to regret anything”
“Stevie, I’ve wanted you since you were in the ice, nothing has changed and I had to stop myself from claiming you when we wer-” Tony rolled his eyes but was cut off by another hungry kiss, Steve’s eyes shading red from his Alpha which in turn made Tony’s eyes quickly go golden as he whined “Bond with me, Alpha”
“My room, now” Steve barked as he grabbed Tony’s hand and rushed them towards the elevator while Tony giggled to himself. It took them swapping bodies to get their heads out of their ass’s but in Tony’s opinion it was well worth it as Steve picked him up by his thighs and pressed him back against the wall.
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jaceyneedsabetterusername · 5 years ago
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SFW Alphabet ~ Peter Parker
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These aren’t my ABC’s. I stole them from @caitlinpotter​
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?
Peter is very affectionate, at least in his mind. In reality, he’s always worried that he’ll make things awkward, especially at the beginning of your relationship. Are you comfortable with a hug right now? Is a kiss too much PDA? But once you’ve been dating for a while, he gets a lot more comfortable and then it’s hugs and cute little wrestling fights all the time. 
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
He’s the best best friend. Y’all probably met at school (most likely in Academic Decathlon) and you became friends really quickly. You guys are the best friends that do EVERYTHING together. 
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Peter LOVES to cuddle. Especially after the snap (I honestly can’t even refer to it as the ‘blip’), he’s terrified of losing you because he saw how quickly it can happen. 
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Peter really wants to settle down with you but not at the expense of being Spiderman. He wants a life with you and maybe even some kids but he would still be the friendly neighborhood Spiderman while he did it
He’s a teenage boy so, of course, there’s dirty clothes everywhere. He’s good at doing the dishes and getting chores done though. When he’s been out all night protecting the city though, he does sometimes forget every now and then. 
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Breaking up with you would absolutely destroy Peter. It has nothing to do with his feelings for you. The boy is still madly in love with you but that’s why he needs to let you go. He feels like you’re in danger when you’re with him and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to you. 
He would try so hard to stay strong and explain everything and make sure that you knew that you didn’t do anything wrong and just keep telling you how perfect you are but this boy would definitely start crying. 
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Peter, at the moment, is content with being in a very happily committed relationship with you. He’s not in a huge rush to get engaged but he definitely wants to in the future. He’d propose to you when you’re around 24 or 25 and it would be simple and cute! 
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Peter is SUPER careful with you. Because of his super strength, he’s constantly horrified of hurting you by accident. Emotionally, Peter isn’t too aggressive anyways and that really translates into your relationship. He’s snapped at you a few times when he’s super stressed from school or with Avengers stuff but he always is very apologetic about it. 
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Peter loves hugs. He would hug you all the time if he could. He hugs you whenever he sees you. He wraps you in his arms and squeezes you super tight but it’s a comforting tight, not a Lord-help-me-I-can’t-breathe tight.
Going back to the cuddling, he loves to hug you because it means that you’re real and tangible and there with him. He savors every moment because he’s scared to lose you. 
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
He’s very cautious with the L-word. He’s lost so many people that he loves from his parents to Uncle Ben to Stark. Even when he starts to feel it, he doesn’t even admit it to himself because then that’s something that he can lose. 
Somewhere around the five or six month mark though it slips out before either of you even know what happened but you’re quick to return the sentiment
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Peter doesn’t get jealous so much as he does insecure. You’ve reassured him dozens of times that you don’t want to be with anyone other than him but that doesn’t stop him from wondering if you’d rather be Brad every now and then. 
You and Peter have a very trusting relationship. You both accept the fact that you both have friends in the gender that you’re attracted to but that you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you can’t trust each other. It’s never really been an issue for your relationship. 
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Peter loves to kiss you on the top of the head. That’s his trademark for you. Whenever he sees you after school, it’s a big hug where he kind of engulfs your body in his arms and you bury your face in his chest and he kisses the top of your head. 
(But he’ll kiss you anywhere and everywhere when he can) 
He loves when you kiss his chest but he’ll never really admit it cause he feels a little weird about it but it drives him wild. 
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
He’s great with kids because he’s such a little goof himself. They wanna play with Legos? GREAT! Cause Peter’s an expert Lego builder. They wanna do his hair? Well it’s their lucky day cause Peter is more than willing to walk the runway with bows in his hair. 
As for his own, he knows he wants them one day but he doesn’t know exactly when. He doesn’t want to put them in any danger and that’s what’s holding him back the most but he would love to see some mini-yous running around one day. 
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Mornings are cuddly in the Parker residence! There is a solid twenty minutes of cuddling and talking before you guys get out of bed in the morning so be sure to set your alarm clock a little earlier than needed. 
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
There are two kinds of nights
#1: Nerdy Nights: Y’all are up all night bingeing Star Wars or playing games or studying for finals. There’s usually a lot of take-out involved. 
#2: Worrisome Nights: Peter is out saving the world as usual leaving you home terrified that maybe that was the last night you’d have with him. 
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Depends on what it is. Peter doesn’t reveal to you that he’s Spiderman for about five months into your relationship. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, he just thought it would put you in danger. 
Other things, like Stark’s death, he’s a mess. He pours his heart out to you when it happens and just needs you to hold him and hug him. 
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Peter is very patient. He doesn’t really get easily angered at all (I mean it literally took everything up to End Game for the boy to activate Instant Kill). Even when you fight, there’s never yelling or threats. He may snap every now and then but that’s very far and few between. 
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Peter remembers everything! He’ll remember that one time that you mentioned that you loved Tiger Lillies three months ago and bring you one on your birthday. Even when he’s super stressed, he remembers your anniversary and makes sure to make you one of those cute little memory boxes. 
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
There was one time when he swung you both up to the top of the Brooklyn Bridge (much to your dismay at first because, afraid of heights or not, that’s still scary) and you watched the sun set over the city. It was simple and beautiful and the way you looked with the golden light shining on your face is a sight Peter will never forget. 
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Peter is very protective of you but not in a jealous boyfriend way. Due to his line of work, there’s always the possibility of actual danger. He’s not stalkerish or obssessive but he gets worried if he hasn’t heard from you in a while or if you’ve gone too long without returning his calls because he can’t keep his mind from wandering to all the horrible things that may have happened. 
He doesn’t need to be protected too much physically but you’re his emotional support. You protect him by talking him out of dumb ideas or allowing him to talk to you about the things he goes through to protect his mental state. 
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
He puts a lot of effort into everything. Peter’s an overthinker so he wants everything to be perfect for you. All of your dates are well thought out. There’s a gift for every holiday, anniversary, and birthday (even if it’s a simple I love you note). He just feels like he needs you to understand how much he loves you. 
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Peter’s not too concerned with his looks. He doesn’t want to look like a slob by any means but he’s not going out with perfectly slicked back hair and a 3 piece suit every time he leaves the house. 
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Most definitely. He was feeling in need of some romantic companionship for a while before you guys started dating but after you became official, he couldn’t imagine life without you. He felt like he needed you and without you, he didn’t feel whole. 
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Peter has a bad habit of just sort of flopping face first on the mattress and falling asleep there in his Spidersuit, only the mask removed. His hair will be all over the place and he’ll still be sweaty and occasionally scratched up but that doesn’t matter. That’s an issue for tomorrow. 
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wu-sisyphus-gang · 3 years ago
Text
Motion Sickness Chapter 48
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It was a cold long ride to Atlas. Cold. And long. I said nothing to the pilot and he said nothing to me. I just sat with my luggage on my lap in the back of the plane. I had nothing but my thoughts to keep me company as I got closer and closer to my home kingdom.
I sat and worried. What if the General didn't let Ruby and the others join Ozpin? My fears weren't as dissuaded as I wanted them to be.
The worst part was I was an overthinker. I over-thought about it the whole way there. It was an eight hour flight, no less. And I had nothing but depressing thoughts to keep me awake and aware.
"Atlas ground control to unidentified vessel. Please identify," came through the radio.
"This is XTR-niner-niner-ought-two. Callsign ought-five-six-six-niner-eight. We've got Weiss Schnee onboard. Requesting permission to land."
"Granted. Did you say Weiss Schnee?"
"Affirmative."
"We roger that XTR. We'll have company waiting for you."
We came in low over the floating city and swept in for a landing near Atlas Academy.
The plane hovered to a stop and descended. With it descended my stomach. I was alone and hundreds of miles from Ruby.
The back of the ship opened. I stood with my things and departed at once.
"Weiss? You're alright." An even voice availed me.
It was my sister surrounded by armed robots and waiting near the airstrip. She was as tall as ever with crystal blue eyes and snow-white hair.
My sister sounded relieved.
"Winter." I acknowledged. "It's good to see you again. I've got a special message for General Ironwood. It's urgent."
"For Ironwood?" She asked. "What could you possibly need to talk to him about? Weiss the general is a busy man-"
"It's about the maidens. And the relics. He'll make time for it. I am sure," I hedged a working bet. My sister was in a position to know about Ozpin's secrets. I was willing to bet that she did, now that I knew myself.
The only beings within earshot were machines and they'd never tattle on us to anyone. Winter's eyes widened with something like shock.
"Oh. Then you must come with me immediately." She led the way into the academy. "How do you know about the relics Weiss? And the maidens?"
"Ozpin told me. But like I said I have to talk to Ironwood. I have a message for him. It's the only reason I took the ship ride here."
She swiped a key card on one of the doors and led me all the way to the headmaster's office. I'd been there before. I knew the way. It was back from when I considered Atlas Academy as an alternative to Beacon and I was given a tour of the place.
"General, my sister says she has an urgent message for you. It's why she came. It's about the relics and maidens."
The general turned to look at me. He looked as I remembered. Maybe a bit more grey hair. The stress of Beacon afflicted him, giving him a bit of Marie Antoinette syndrome. He was tall and half metal with a long sleeve over his metal side.
He was sharply dressed as I'd ever seen him. His arms were crossed behind his back, looking crisp.
"I'm supposed to tell you the 'king has castled.'" I told him. His face shifted. Growing at once more interested from confused.
"What? Where?" He demanded.
"Back in Argus with Qrow."
"Ozpin and Qrow…" he murmured. "I'll send a ship there immediately. What's the status of the relic of knowledge?"
"We don't know. We think Salem has it," I answered. "Leonardo Lionheart turned on us. He betrayed Ozpin to Salem."
"That's terrible news." The general steepled his fingers.
"The relic here is safe though, isn't it? Ozpin was worried about this one next."
"It's secure." He said so quietly I had to strain to hear him. "What about the spring maiden?"
"She fell. Cinder Fall, the new fall maiden became the new spring maiden. She's very powerful now."
"That's even worse news."
"Yes… sir, about my friends with Ozpin… will you allow them into the country?"
"They know about the relics and maidens as well?"
I nodded crisply. I felt almost like I was a young girl talking to my father. It was frightening.
"Then it can't be helped." He nodded. Lights on his implant flickered. "You did well to bring me this information. We'll see about getting you set up in a room within the academy. You should rest easy, now. I'll handle things from here."
I exhaled a sigh of relief.
"There's more, sir." I began. He'd begun to turn his attention away from me and hesitated. "We were betrayed by a student too. Ozpin suspected he was a sleeper agent. A man named Jaune Arc. I'm not sure if that matters to you but it's something to be aware of. He's the one with the relic of knowledge. We think he's bringing it to Salem. He's very dangerous. I also have the identities of two more of Salem's agents. A Tyrian Callows and Hazel Rainart, I have their fighting styles, weapons, and a description of them both."
"You've been through a great deal…"
"No more than anyone else since Beacon's fall and Black-Out day," I dismissed.
"Even still I had hoped to keep people as young as you out of the conflict. I wasn't so successful myself. You know Penny Polendina."
"It became a necessity. Ozpin was out of options after he died. He's in a body called Oscar now. And yes sir, I know her. She's alive?"
He smiled and nodded. "You can tell Winter about Salem's agents. It's good to hear from Ozpin. I'd been worried. I must arrange for his and Qrow's extraction," he phrased it like a kind of order and I had to resist the urge to give some kind of salute. My own military background having been raised in Atlas at the forefront of my mind.
"And my friends." I interrupted. It was a bit of a sticking point for me, I overcame my desire to salute and intruded anyways.
"Yes, of course," Ironwood agreed. He seemed to sense my anxiety about it. His voice was unusually gentle.
"Come with me Weiss," Winter said. "I'll tell you about the winter maiden and the staff of creation, if that's alright, sir?"
Ironwood dismissed us with a curt nod and Winter snapped off a salute before gently pulling me away.
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Winter led me beneath the school to the vault. There the staff of creation hung and suspended with it was the massive chunk of earth and ice the city floated on top of. "So the staff is what keeps the city floating? I always thought it was dust."
"That's the official story. But Ozpin showed the previous headmaster how to use the staff to levitate the city."
"How's this possible?" I was still tired from the flight but I had energy enough to be amazed at one of the relics in action.
"The staff is an unlimited source of power. Although it's limited to one task at a time. It and it's vault are set up in a circuit with the engines to help the city hover."
"That's amazing. It costs nothing and keeps the city safe. The relic of knowledge was similarly incredible."
I was able to look out and see gondolas on guide wires to the lower city.
"Oh?"
"It allows the user to ask any question of the lamp. Only three questions every one hundred years. We're afraid of what Jaune will do with it."
"Your friend who turned on you?"
"Yes." I breathed. "It's been hard."
"How are you holding up with that knowledge?"
"It's been difficult. My best friend was in love with him. Is in love with him. His betrayal came out of nowhere."
"Are you sure the rest of your friends can be trusted? You were rather insistent that your teammates join us here."
"I trust my teammates with my life."
"As you trusted this Jaune?"
"As Ozpin trusted Leonardo. Mistakes happen," I defended.
"Leonardo was a coward," Winter turned her nose up. "You could smell it on him."
I walked up and pressed a hand against the vault. The staff of creation was a beautiful object. A blue crystal wreathed in gold and mounted on a pillar of bronze, it was gorgeous. I'd only gotten a glimpse at the relic of knowledge but it was similarly intriguing.
"My teammates aren't cowards. And neither was Jaune. He was obsessive. That was his downfall."
"You defend him in this?"
"My partner and I think Salem did something to him." I stepped away from the crystal of the vault.
"Your partner who is in love with him?"
"That's right," I was adamant. "I know it sounds crazy. I know it sounds like an entangled mess of emotions but there are things about it that don't add up. Inconsistencies in his betrayal and personality which make no sense. I believe in her. I believe in him."
"You're right. It does sound like an entangled mess."
I glared at my sister. "Jaune was obsessive and one day he was killing and dying for us and the next he was turncoat."
"Traitorousness is the hardest to wrap our minds around because it often comes from those we least suspect. Betrayal is by its very nature unexpected."
"Maybe. Do you want to hear about Salem's other agents?"
"You've yet to give me a description of Jaune Arc."
"Tall, blonde, and muscular, blue eyes and about six-foot-one, maybe six-foot-two. He uses a broadsword that can turn into a shield with a longsword."
Winter sighed. "Weiss…"
"His semblance is called Limit Breaker. It's a charge which let's him elevate to a form where he is stronger and faster. He can do all manner of things with the charge. Fly, for example. And spend it on an attack or movement."
"Weiss it sounds like you, too, are muddled in this."
"I'm doing alright."
"Are you?"
"I-" I hesitated. "I liked him. As a person. The personality he developed. Who he became. The sacrifices he was willing to make for us. I got comfortable. It took me by surprise. Caught me off guard. He used to fancy me and I always felt like a good judge of character. He changed between Beacon and when I saw him again. I liked what I saw in him."
"And your friend?"
"She's hurting but we can get through it together."
"It's as I said. You're ensnared. You're too close to the issue. You need to look at things dispassionately."
"I don't know if I can do that with this. Could you do it if it was someone you cared about?"
"I have my duty," Winter insisted.
"Easy for you to say now." I sounded tired to my own ears. I didn't believe Winter. Maybe she never let herself get close to someone. It would be easy to do if you never had to try, I suppose. "I thought I'd be able to do it too. Now that it's happened to me it's clear that I can't. I have to stand with my partner."
"You're in pain."
"That's life." I pulled at my ponytail and tightened it.
"I hate seeing you like this. It sounds like you're not letting it go."
"I can't release it that easily. Jaune had a partner who died. He talked about getting revenge for her against the agents of Salem. We even talked about how he wanted to be able to let go for her. I think I understand what he meant now."
"I see. You're unwilling to compromise on this issue."
"I am." I agreed. "If time heals all wounds then I need more time."
"Tell me about the other agents of Salem."
"You already know of Cinder, the spring and fall maiden. She fights with glass and dust woven into her clothes. She's incredibly dangerous. Even before she added the spring maiden's power to her own. Jaune fought her before then. His power made him nearly as lethal."
"We have records of her. You keep coming back to Jaune."
"He's intertwined in my story," I dismissed easily. "Tyrian Callows is a scorpion Faunus. He fights with clawed submachine guns. His aura is purple. I fought him at Haven. His eyes are gold and his hair is brown. Hazel Rainart is eight-foot, maybe taller. He fights with his fist and by infusing himself with dust. He has brown hair and brown eyes."
"Do you know either's semblance."
"When I fought Tyrian I didn't catch it. Ozpin said Hazel's was a pain-numbing agent. It allowed him to infuse himself with more dust than your average person could tolerate."
"You've been through a lot since you left father's estate."
"You have no idea. You mentioned the winter maiden."
"I did."
Winter led me back through the Atlas Academy. We arrived at a medical facility. We passed armed guards, security cameras, and robots. A door slid open before us and she gestured inside. I followed her direction and looked down through what I could only assume was a one-way mirror.
"This is Fria."
She pointed down at a woman in a cot. There was a sink and kitchenette in the room as well as two tubes with cables between them.
"She's the winter maiden." I identified.
"She is. She could pass any day now.  Until that happens I'm the only person she's allowed to see."
"Then Ironwood's chosen you. You'll be the new winter maiden. Cinder will come after you."
"You believe she won't stop at two?"
"She didn't stop at one. Why would she slow down now?"
"I suppose…" Winter mulled that over.
"How long have you known?"
"Since Beacon fell."
"And that doesn't bother you? Ironwood groomed your entire military career just for the purpose of becoming a maiden. Don't you feel like you never had any choice? And you want to lecture me about things getting muddled? Jaune mentioned to me that Ozpin was probably looking at me and my team to be maidens and it set off red flags for me. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. My team and I are ideal candidates. Powerful, talented, and already armed with knowledge."
"It did bother me at first. But the more I thought about it, the more I saw it as a privilege. It's a chance for me to do some real good for Atlas, for Remnant."
"I think you're ensnared by the general. Closing the borders down rather than helping the rest of the world, what is he thinking?"
"I-I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to tell you. There is a greater plan in play, I assure you, Weiss. Things are not as short-sighted as they may seem."
"I should hope not. Ozpin said he was worried for Ironwood next. If Ironwood starts going against Ozpin's orders things will be bad to say the least. Closing the borders is only frustrating things between Atlas and the rest of the world. Ironwood had better have a plan, and it had better be a damn good one."
"I'll see about getting clearance to talk about it with you."
"Thank you."
"I agree with the general's plan. I hope that you will too. Now I must ask what you intend to do?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're in Atlas. You're a huntress and from the sound of things you're never going back to live under father."
"Never again. No," I said, quiet but sure.
"So what will you do?"
"I'll do what my team and I have been doing. Protecting and serving the people of Remnant."
"How?"
"There's bound to be no shortage of jobs for those of us in the know. The Grimm are always coming. Salem's agents are at the gates at all times. My team and I have seen them. Those real monsters of humanity."
"You won't go back to school?"
"If I went back to school it would only be to teach. And even then…" It wouldn't be anytime soon. I wanted to fight.
"That would be a good career choice for you." Winter smirked.
I nodded. "For now, though, I just don't see it."
"Very well. I'm sure the general will be happy to have you and your team aboard."
"I'm sure he will be. Team RWBY is a force to be reckoned with."
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-WG
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