#[ also woo go me just in time for DID awareness day to not have ended ]

[bloomingkyras]

Shenanigans house #headache

(previous / next)

Creator POV:

The drama and all the true color came out, at the end of week 3 and before eliminations day..before u guys blame past kyra, let me took a run down what actually happen before that. I found out that MCC deleted 2 or 3 contestant even tho the house I set to maximum 16, after I came back to play with this household and had to cheat their relationship back to where it's supposed, also I reset my WW but forgot to disable pregnancy.I remember that, the set to get pregnant was 50/50. All the relationship and interaction are autonomous by the contestant themself and not by "setting up" or using pose mod. Oh I forgot to tell that, Shawn the bachelor, will get Jealous when he found out his date or partner having woohoo with others but not in physical contact like kissing or holding hand.

One things that I don't like to do with BC challenge was cheating their interaction. If it's too much then I will cheat. I really want to see who really deserve to be in the competition and who Shawn really "into". Even tho, I seriously feel annoy with sastification relationship that they develop until I decided to disable lovestruck ep but no 😅.

Ok back to what happen. Shawn asked Daniela, why she's refuse to go on a date with him. She said that Shawn is using her just for "fun" and did u guys know, (if u own Lovestruck ep) that it can make partner or married sims to get divorce or breakup instantly, but I disable that cause for me this is Bachelor challenge unless it was a legacy challenge.Lucky for them. Sadie other side suddenly crash into bathroom while Ellie is having shower and nearly scream at her (I deleted that reaction cause I don't want other contestant to get traumatized). She calm after Ellie persuade her and she went back to the pool to sleep until nearly death. I just don't understand why they choose to sleep in the pool other then their own bed.

Erm..it's a free time for Shawn to have his "me time" with the contestant that he choose to have woo hoo or romantic interaction.Yes, I let him have "fun" with them if they want too, but if they refuse it's ok. And this 2 Ladies out of know where, came into his room and mad. And all the romance bar between them all become red and nearly -100. also "a call" back to back from outsiders who know Shawn, telling him that he got caught by cheating evento it's not. it's BC after all..

Maybe karma came instantly after that for Shawn, as he found out that Ofelia had a secrets relationship with the butler. Yes, I saw them flirting and ask for woo hoo and that why, they had a romance bar nearly 50%. He decided to fired the butler cause he feel betrayed but the Butler insult him back. For Ofelia, just wait and see what will happen in the elimination. Cause by that time she got caught, we don't know if she's pregnant and who's child was that. If it's Shawn, She might continue the challenge and I know my boys well, he will took the responsible and if it's not his, maybe She will got eliminate, eventho she had ticket to escape from elimination.

I'm aware that WW will go wild with this challenge and me, my self had experience this with my 1st BC.That why, what ever happen in the BC house, I let it's happen. No cheating or pretend nothing happen. It's not fun without drama. I know about Ofelia and Aarini had an exclusive relationship between them, as I got alot of notification with them but I'm not into them as my job are only handling Shawn and necessary thing with the ladies such as asking them to do something for challenge task. So, I just let them play along without Shawn know about them had something.

U guys might wonder where's Olive and Electra, right? They both already in their dreamland when the chaos came 😅.

So yeah.sorry if it's too long. u can just skip, if u not interest to read what happen. I'm just telling what in my POV as a creator and also a cctv 😅. And some of u also had a BC to handle, so consider this is a tips from me. Just go all out guys 😜

*edit to be clear: all relationship with Shawn are still friends or Date not PARTNER. they will be declare as partner, once we know who the winner.

[sunlighthroughthe-ashes]

wow, this episode was wild from start to finish — the makgeolli scene was ludicrous, sol's elder brother is annoying, and HOW DARE they end it on such a cliffhanger!!!

that said, i LOVED the parallels of sol switching the fan on for sunjae while he was sleeping just like he did for her in previous episodes (it was such a lovely, subtle bit of cuteness) — him unconsciously covering her hand with his own was an added bonus.

that boy is aware of her EVEN IN HIS SLEEP.

i think it's a testament to byeon woo-seok's acting that he's able to communicate the tenderness of his feelings for sol so well with just his eyes — i keep mentioning this, but there's a literal reverence in his gaze when he looks at sol that's simply uncanny. his whole face just softens when he looks at her!!!

kim hye-yoon matches this well with the way her face lights up when she's watching sun-jae — her smile is pure RADIANCE when she's looking at him.

there's such genuine respect and adoration in her expression that it just warms my heart.

sunjae confessing his feelings all in a rush was such a bittersweet experience for me — first love is often so sweet but also overpowering and bewildering — you can see from the beginning of the story how helpless sunjae is in the wake of his emotions for sol.

he put her into music and made her memory eternal!

having said that, i was NOT a fan of the way sol rejected sunjae at the hospital. i understand her reasons (since she's uncertain over her fate after the day of her accident / her having to return to the future) but she didn't have to be that harsh.

the poor boy even said "don't be so cold" 🥺

and the fact that she realized she was his first love and the song was about her — only to get kidnapped right after: EVIL move on the writers' part.

i think she'll manage to get out of this without getting paralyzed again (maybe with sunjae's help) — that's why the promo showed her walking in the future.

i know a little about the webtoon, so i'm pretty sure sunjae DOES remember her, he's just behaving coldly because she rejected him / or because after the accident past!sol returned and didn't remember him and he distanced himself ever since then.

either of those reasons would also explain his refusing not to do the movie that sol's presumably directing.

as far as sol trying to stop him from coming to the bridge — she probably realized something to do with his death. it might be related to her (and the taxi-driver) so she's trying to stop sunjae from meeting her and putting everything into motion again.

i think the first time she went into the past, it was to remember sunjae, the second was to prevent her accident, and the third will be her finally stopping sunjae's death.

hate to say it, but i think sol will have to go through sunjae dying again before she goes back into the past for the third and final time (probably when they're in university) and saves him at last.

she better save him and make sure they have a happy ending, otherwise this viewer is going to become a LOVELY HATER. XD

NOW HOW WILL I SURVIVE UNTIL NEXT MONDAY??? 😭

[tgmsunmontue]

Coming from my main SORRY but 🔥 and your choice, let the inspo guide you

😈😈😈

SO!

The Great Mashup AKA Twisters/Gorge/Maverick... Tagging @phisworld14 and @halestrom because quite frankly they don't get a say in the matter... (and your blog you actually use @hangmanbradshaw).

(For anyone not aware of this, then I refer you all to THIS POST HERE, and the 87 comments currently on it for reference).

This one haunts my every waking moment until I put it to bed and force myself to focus on one of my actual PROPER WIPs. But you've just opened a floodgate so I might need to save this answer as a draft so I can write and come back to it during my working hours... And I've put this under a cut now.

BUT.

I've been figuring out the order in which the possible canon movies would work, and I can only think that it would need to go Twisters, Gorge and then Maverick, because I feel like Drasa would be very much all up in Levi's shit about not talking to his family, because she LOVED her dad, and what the fuck does Levi think he's doing just not even attempting to make amends? Huh? (And that man is SO GONE on her, and if she wants a family, then he'll give her a fucking family, go and find Bradley and talk things out. Find Maverick and make a better effort at staying in touch...)

So it's while both Bradley and Maverick are in blackout comms that Levi and Drasa are trying to find them, and Levi is freaking out a little that HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE!!! He went black-ops, so he never considered that Bradley might one day be the one to die while on a mission, he's up in the sky, not doing hand-to-hand stuff (and Levi does not appreciate the fact that he's a fucking sniper and does all his best work FROM A DISTANCE).

BUT ALSO - Bradley's ability to hit that target with no guidance??? Levi is totally going to be all smug about him "teaching" Bradley that, and Bradley being "you didn't teach me shit" and cue another rough-housing fight while Jake, Tyler, Drasa and Kate are all just 🤨🤔😑🙄...

So I don't envision this fic as being overly long, but it having lots of little vignettes and slices of life from each person/couple.

Carole giving birth to surprise twins and Nick and Maverick being all proud like it was somehow them doing all the hard work and Carole sitting there like 😑😑😑.

Jake/Tyler's mum knowing she's having twins and being well prepared. (They've got three older brothers and she was REALLY HOPING for a girl... instead she got TWO MORE BOYS. Not borrowing from one of my friends at all there...)

Like when Tyler talks about Kate to Jake for the first time, and the Jake meets her and sees how happy his brother is??? (And GOD does he want that for himself, but he's bombing out on fucking Grindr, and his regular hookups with Bradshaw are becoming a little fraught maybe? Are they frienemies? Exes? Just flirted and never done anything about it? I haven't decided - but I just want Jake and Bradley BOTH to look at each other's twin and be like HOW DID I END UP WITH THE UNROMANTIC ONE??? (Except of course they haven't let those walls down, too scared to be vulnerable with each other, BUT NOW!!! THEY CAN!!! (Spoiler - they're not very good at it)).

ALSO - Levi and Tyler FRIENDSHIP along with Kate and Drasa friendship. Like these guys are both bonding over the fact that their twin brother is certifiable. In love, sure. But also this is NOT how you go about wooing someone? Like they look at each other and go... you seem normal - what the fuck happened WITH HIM???

I just... I am NOT NORMAL about this.

AT ALL.

[nottoonedin]

An ALNST Theory/Hypothesis/Over-analysis/Interpretation of events

AKA: Me slowly descending into madness over an animated web series-

(Btw this is mostly just for fun, don't take it too seriously lol)

(TW: Death, Blood)

Long post warning:

I assume we've all seen the newest posts that Vivinos has put out on their YT community tab (or wherever you get your ALNST updates), and the one that everyone is obviously talking about is the post titled <CURE>

And.. yeah, of course, just goes to show that Round 6 is just around the corner (I am screaming internally) and the attention is going to be focused on Ivan and Till, and how their story will progress (or end, depending on if someone's gonna die, which seems likely, unfortunately).

But the post that really caught my attention.. was this fucking post:

When I first saw it, in my mind I thought ''Haha, how cute and goofy! This is exactly how I saw their dynamic!'' and went on with my day.

But after thinking about it for a while, my brain decided to think up this wonderfully awful thought:

''What if Hyuna (unintentionally) had a hand in what happened to Hyun-woo?''

Now, at first, this sounds fucking crazy. The general consensus (from what I've seen) is that Luka killed Hyun-woo. But I do see some parallels between this post and the incident in Round 5 which might help explain what actually happened, but first:

Why I don't think Luka would have been able to kill Hyun-woo:

Luka is DEFINETELY not known for his muscles or strength, I mean look at him:

He's like a sickly Victorian child, not to mention his asthma, chronic migraines and heart disease. I don't believe Hyun-woo has any health problems (not that I know of anyways), so I feel Luka would have a hard time trying to push Hyun-woo over so he'd fall onto a rock. To put it simply, Hyun-woo could most likely beat Luka in a fight, unless someone interfered in some way...👀

Luka's ''fighting'' tactic:

With the parallels between The Trio doodle and Round 5, I've noticed there's a pattern with how Luka gets rids of his ''opponents'', be it on stage or outside of it (*cough* Hyun-woo *cough cough*).

He initiates the attack, it being mentally or physically depending on his opponent. He's subtle about it however, the only one being aware of his antagonism being the one he's antagonising, preserving his perfect, can-do-no-wrong persona.

2. Obviously, the opponent retaliates. But, of course, Luka expects this, it's what he wants, after all. He knows he'll be seen as the victim by onlookers. How could anyone hurt such a precious, weak, defenseless little guy??🥺🥺He doesn't even bother to fight back at all (may be too weak to).

3. A stronger force, seeing Luka in ''distress'', steps in and takes care of the attacker (the opponent), avenging Luka, who they see as the victim. He isn't the type to do it himself, letting others do his dirty work.

Now, let's apply this to the flashback in the All-In MV..

What may have happened to Hyun-woo:

Luka may have said something to Hyun-woo that deeply distressed/angered him, or perhaps Hyun-woo knew about what Luka did to Hyuna.

2. Angry, Hyun-woo attacks Luka.

(I'd also like to note that in this frame, Luka looks more like he's just had someone pulled off him, rather than he's just attacked and pushed someone over onto a rock.)

3. Hyuna finds Hyun-woo attacking Luka and, naturally seeing Luka as the victim, tries to break them apart (which would have been hard if Hyun-woo was super pissed). There's a struggle, and.. well...

Hyuna accidentally kills Hyun-woo, which doesn't bother Luka. Just means his opponent has been eliminated. As far as he's concerned, Luka wins.

Final Thoughts:

Does this theory leave a lot of questions? 100%. For example, if this theory was true, why would Hyuna be so angry at Luka? Does she later find out about his manipulative nature? How? On the stage perhaps? I find this unlikely, however, since I don't believe Hyuna ever went on stage and escaped beforehand, due to a post Vivinos made a while back:

Can this theory be easily debunked? Oh, ABSOLUTELY (I hope it is debunked in canon, to be honest lol). But it does give ideas for some angsty fanfics, I believe hehehe-

For real though, Alien Stage is all up to interpretation. Some questions may never be answered. It leaves room for different ideas, which is one thing I love about the series. <3

Thank you for reading my batshit little ramble/theory!! Hope ya'll have an awesome day/night!

[chloe-caulfield94]

Bay Max has a talk with Other Max

This is going to be a part of a larger fanfic, so if it piques your interest, stay tuned. It's also quite darker than what I usually write, so be warned.

-----------------------------

Max went back to the scene of her crime. The filthy bathroom corner she had showered with her tears five days prior. The filthy bathroom corner that she had cowered in, waiting for Chloe’s heart to be pierced by a bullet. She touched the fire alarm she was supposed to use to save a life, but she had chosen not to. She turned to walk away and she noticed the moustache and glasses scribbled on the mirror. She walked over and touched the graffiti, repeating her movements from Monday.

“You were right. Something was mocking you. It wasn’t the universe, though. I highly doubt the universe is even aware a bug like you is currently crawling on its skin. It was me. I’ve been mocking you” – Max heard her own voice coming from the mirror. She noticed that her reflection not only wasn’t mirroring her movements, but it was even dressed differently – in her usual grey hoodie and pink t-shirt instead of the black dress she was wearing.

Max furrowed her brows. “You again? You told me to sacrifice Chloe. You told me she wasn’t worth my love and friendship. And that spectacle at the diner? All the townspeople accusing me of murder? Bravo. I especially liked Joyce telling me that I’m taking her away from her family if I don’t sacrifice Chloe. But her family is Chloe! Such a nice touch. How twisted do you have to be to even come up with something like that?”

“Why are you making fun of my tricks? You fell for them. They worked. You did what I told you to do”.

“Yes, you bullied me into killing my own best friend. I did what you told me was the right thing to do. Even though by doing so I killed my soul as well. What more do you want from me?”

Her reflection chuckled. “Bold of you to assume you had a soul to begin with. And our talks have never been about me telling you to do the right thing. Have you considered the possibility that I simply enjoy seeing you squirm?”

“Who … what are you?”

“I’m a part of you that contains all of your self-loathing, self-doubt, guilt and resentment. Or … perhaps I’m a demon sent to torment you. You always listen to Samuel’s talks about spirits roaming around Arcadia Bay. You constantly fall for various ‘woo’ you find on the Internet. You’re functionally an antivaxxer. I’m sure you’re more than capable of believing in demons”.

“So what now? You told me I should sacrifice Chloe and now that I did you’re going to say I shouldn’t have?”

“More or less. I’m always telling you things that make you feel bad. But before you say I’m evil, that’s just what I am. You could say it’s my job. I am a part of you that makes you feel sad. It’s not my fault you let me grow so strong. Stronger than all your other parts put together. You know, the nightmare you had when Chloe was hauling your unconscious body to safety was the first time we met face to face. But it was not the first time you heard my voice. No, for years I whispered in your ear. I told you not to return Chloe’s phone calls. I told you to respond to her texts with the most non-committal nothings under the sun. I told you not to write her letters. I told you not to reach out to her even when you already were in Arcadia Bay. And we both know for a fact you wouldn’t have contacted her, ever, had she not saved your ass in the parking lot, don’t we? And we both know that had you contacted her right after you arrived in town, six weeks before she was murdered, her fate would’ve turned out differently and she wouldn’t have found herself on the receiving end of Nathan’s gun. No Storm, no dead best friend, had you just had the guts to reach out to her, you coward. Your cowardice killed people. You could only choose who it killed. But it was fatal nonetheless”.

“So you are responsible for all of this?”

“No, no, no! Don’t pin your wrong choices on me, Max! I only ever highlighted the options you had. But we always make choices as one. All parts of us together. It’s not my fault you constantly follow my advice. Think of me as of an attorney, defending a client who’s obviously guilty. I have to do this. It’s my job. So when the neglectful jurors return a not guilty verdict and the accused is released into the world to commit more evil, whose fault it is?”

“You can’t be a part of me. I‘m not a good person. But you … you’re a monster”.

“If I’m a monster, that makes you a monster as well, at least in part. And I’d say that you’re a monster in full. All your parts are monsters. It’s just that I’m honest about what I am. All your other parts, including the one I’m talking to right now, are in denial. Care to explain one thing to me? Why did you kiss Chloe when she dared you to on Wednesday morning, but then you immediately rewound time and didn’t kiss her for a second time? So you had all the fun of kissing her and she had none of the fun of being kissed by you? You used her body for your own pleasure but you made sure she got none of that pleasure back? At best that makes you a selfish lover. At worst that makes you … an artist. Like Jefferson and Nathan. You like posing others for your own pleasure, you steal moments from other people and you make sure they don’t remember those moments at all”.

“Shut up! I am nothing like them!”

“Oh really? How is what you did to Chloe different than what Nathan did to her? You used her for your own pleasure for five days and then you tossed her away like trash, making sure she would remember none of it. At least he was done with her in a single night. You took your sweet time with her. Oh, and another thing you have in common. You both murdered her”.

“I had to! You said so yourself!”

“You didn’t have to do anything. You chose to do that. You know he’s going to be released soon, right? I give it three years. And then Sean Prescott’s golfing buddies at the Oregon Supreme Court, you know, the ones whose election campaigns he financed, are going to overturn Nathan’s conviction. What a beautiful story they are going to tell! And the media is going to repeat it a thousandfold. A story of a promising, talented, handsome, well-mannered young man from a good family who had the misfortune of crossing paths with two whores. One junkie whore named Rachel, who overdosed despite Nathan’s best efforts to make her quit her drug habit. He probably even performed CPR on her once she OD’d. Alas, to no avail. But it does explain his DNA, if any is found on Rachel. And then there was a second whore. She got innocent little Nathan drunk and she dragged him to bed. A filthy gold digger, who just wanted to lay her grubby hands on his family’s well-earned wealth. And when she tried to violently extort money from him, he simply had to stand his ground. Ooh, ooh! I have idea for another juicy detail to this story! She wanted to extort money from Nathan because she was pregnant! Nathan, being a responsible young man, of course insisted on using protection, but she pricked the condom with a needle, like gold-digging whores do to accomplished men they want to entrap. I mean killing your pregnant mistress is perfectly legal. Haven’t you seen ‘Fatal Attraction’”?

Max vomited into the sink, violently. She had eaten very little that day, so it was mostly bile. It went out of her mouth and nose. She wiped her face with her sleeve. Leaning against the sink, she said hesitantly: “But … those are all lies. None of that is true”.

“Max, of course we both know the truth. Nathan murdered Rachel in the course of a ‘photo session’ he gave her. And he was … extra hands-on with her, wasn’t he? At least Jefferson didn’t insert himself into the pictures. But Nathan �� half the pictures of Rachel we found in the Dark Room were of him groping her, kissing her, lying on top of her … I mean no wonder Jefferson killed him. He was furious Nathan treated his adolescent girlfriend that way. And we know why Chloe wanted hush money from Nathan. Because he drugged her and gave her a ‘photo session’ too. And she knew she would get zero justice by going to the Prescott-owned police department. You remember that cop who openly told you, in a crowded diner, that he and his buddies were taking money to look out for little Nathan? We know what she did was the only way for her to get any semblance of justice. That’s the truth. But the biggest problem with the truth is getting people to believe in it. Especially if they were bribed not to. You know, they are not going to use exactly the same story I just told you. No, they are probably going to use something even worse, something even more insulting to your dead best friend’s memory. You can run, but you cannot hide, Max. You can run to a place where the local news from Oregon don’t reach, like a hippie commune in the middle of Arizona. But sooner or later, those news are going to reach you. Hell, maybe you’ll learn of Nathan’s rehabilitation and of the awful crimes of Rachel and Chloe ten years after it makes the headlines here in Oregon. But you will hear about that. I can’t wait to see your face then. I can’t wait to hear how you try and fail to convince yourself it had to happen for the greater good”.

“But … there is evidence. Nathan’s real student record. The photograph of Chloe he kept in his drawer”.

“Too bad you only regained memories of those days you chose to erase today. Had you remembered anything on Monday, you could’ve told someone. But now? Those documents and photographs are long gone. The principal has been on the take from the Prescotts for years. He swept under the rug Nathan’s many violent outbursts and his drug peddling. What, you think he won’t sweep this under the rug? If only out of concern for his own skin? If Prescotts go down, Wells goes down with them. Come on, he let a violent, drug-addled boy attend Blackwell for years, instead of expelling him, like he should’ve. But we know only poor people get expelled, don’t we? Poor girls get expelled for a little graffiti in the parking lot. Rich boys don’t get expelled when they are caught selling drugs and beating other students up. Wells will never let anyone see Nathan’s real student record, the one he kept secret for so long. He will only show the fake one, the one painting a rosy picture of Prescott junior. And the photograph from Nathan’s drawer? Long gone. Taken by Wells himself or some other schmuck on the Prescott payroll. But don’t be too hard on yourself, Max. Who would you have told about this evidence? The insanely corrupt cops, who only arrested Nathan because they found him at the crime scene, smeared in his victim’s blood? They would’ve supressed or even outright destroyed all that evidence, too. You know, to keep those envelopes coming”.

Max kept breathing heavily, as if she was about to throw up again.

Her mirror image kept driving the knife ever deeper into Max’s heart: “Why are you so disgusted with all of that? Those are all consequences of the choice you made. You didn’t want to live with the Storm as the unintended consequence of your rescue of Chloe. And now you don’t want to live with Nathan’s impunity and the desecration of your best friend’s memory as the consequences of your choice not to save her. At some point you have to own the consequences of your actions, whatever they are. And why are you so disturbed at the thought of Nathan’s release? You have so much in common. Two artistic souls? And you already share such a deep bond. To have murdered someone together? To have the same blood on your hands? I don’t know if a deeper connection can be established between two persons. If you start writing him letters now, you can marry him the moment he is released. But I suggest you start writing now. Because there’s going to be a lot of competition. Hybristophilia is quite common among young impressionable women such as yourself. Especially if the murderer is cute and rich”.

Anger overpowered Max’s disgust. She banged her hand on the mirror and shouted: “Fuck you!”

“’Fuck me?’ You’re talking to yourself, Max. What does ‘fuck you’ even mean in this context? Are you announcing that tonight, once you’re all snuggled under your covers, you’re going to touch yourself? Are you going to think about your precious punk Chloe as you do so? Face it, what you felt for her wasn’t love. If you loved her, why did you never say it? She said it twice. She always said it just before you killed her. Because no matter the timeline, you always end up murdering her. And always with her dying breath she confesses her love for you. And you never reciprocate. Why? If you loved her, why didn’t you tell her that? ‘I’m sorry, I don’t want to do this’ is not exactly a love confession. No, it’s what a butcher says to a sad-eyed calf they are about to slaughter. What you felt for her was lust. You realized you were already in your senior year and you wanted to go through a ‘bad girl phase’. And you did. A perfect ‘bad girl phase’. No messy breakup, no clinging. Everything just erased, like your browser history. If you didn’t want to lie you loved her, you at least could’ve told her she deserved your love and friendship and deserved to be alive. When she said she didn’t, you didn’t deny that. And by sacrificing her, you kinda proved her right on that point”.

Max once again banged on the mirror and screamed: “Stop it! I loved her! I still do! You are defiling the best, purest thing I’ve ever felt! That I will ever feel!”

Her reflection’s stern facial expression gave way to a malicious smile. Just like she said, she enjoyed seeing Max squirm. “And we both know why you lust for tall girls with tattoos and bright hair dye. Jefferson’s albums. The ones you loved so much. The ones which drew you to him. The ones which made you wish to be one of his students. The ones he shot in his Seattle days. The ones filled with girls from the local music scene. You loved how he captured them. The difference between you and him is that he grew bored of faux-punk sluts like that and moved on to decent girls from good families. But you continued to lust after low-hanging fruit. At least until you could try it. And when you saw your long-lost friend dressed just like those girls from Jefferson’s albums you’d thought about when touching yourself, you just had to possess her. So tell me, Max. This night, with your hand between your legs, are you going to think about her? Are you going to think about the oh so wet kiss you gave her just before you murdered her?”

“Shut up! Shut up, you monster!”

“I think you’re going to do just fine here at Blackwell. Now that the position of the school princess is confirmed to be vacant, you have a decent shot at taking it. You and Rachel are so alike. You both wanted to fool around with a cool punk rocker. But once you discovered that underneath that thin façade was a real girl, one with her own feelings and other messy things like that, who instead of constantly providing you with cheap thrills actually needed something from you, needed your love and care, you couldn’t throw her away fast enough. I wonder, what’s a more cowardly way of breaking up with someone? Leaving them a scribbled note or murdering them?”

“Shut up. Please, shut up” – Max pleaded quietly with her tormentor.

“Max, why are you even standing here, listening to me? You could’ve walked out that door the moment I spoke up. But you didn’t. Why? Because you know you deserve to hear all of that. You are simply accepting your just punishment. Because even though you want to delude yourself into thinking that you’re an everyday hero who saved their hometown, you know you are the monster. And something even worse. How do you call someone who makes a promise to love and protect another person, but then breaks that promise every single time? How about ‘oath breaker’? That does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

Max turned to walk away. She said in a resigned tone: “Enough. Maybe I do deserve to hear all of that, but I can’t take it anymore”.

“If you’re tired of my words, how about listening to someone else?”

Max heard her voice. Not her reflection’s. Her own voice coming from the mirror. And then she heard Joyce’s.

“I wish I was a better friend. I know Chloe doesn’t get many visitors”.

“Oh, Max. You’re Chloe’s best friend for a reason. You’re here exactly when she needs you”.

Max turned towards the mirror again and saw Joyce sitting in her bed. Then the image shifted and she saw William sitting at the table in the Prices’ living room. And once again she heard her own voice.

“William, I just want you to know, that whatever happens, I’ll always be here for Chloe. Always”.

“I know you will, Max” – replied William.

Max’s reflection editorialized: “Had they only known that by ‘being there for Chloe’ you actually meant murdering her”.

The image in the mirror kept shifting, showing her various moments from the week that never was. Max was being lashed with her own words. Bitter, burning tears ran down her cheeks.

“I’m with you to the end, Chloe. You know that”.

“Chloe, you’re priceless”.

“I never want to hurt you! Ever!”

“I always wanted my life to be special, an adventure. But not without you!”

“You are my number one priority now! You are all that matters to me!”

“It doesn’t matter what happens to me. I have to save Chloe!”

“Nobody is going to hurt Chloe ever again!”

The image shifted and Max was once again staring into the eyes of her reflection. Only it was a reflection of her thirteen year old self, in a similar black dress meant for funerals. The reflection said, in a high-pitched, childish voice:

“You don’t have to worry about anything changing. You’re dealing with so much other stuff. You don’t deserve any of this. Chloe, listen. Even if I never … Even if we’re moving for good ... We’re always together, okay? Even when we’re apart. We’re still Max and Chloe. I will always, always love you”.

Her words were punctuated by a deafening gunshot, so loud it made the mirror shake and Max’s ears hurt.

Thirteen year old Max kept speaking: “Because I will never abandon you, Chloe. I'll always have your back”.

Another deafening gunshot.

Her thirteen year old reflection had more to say: “You’re sick in the head, you know that? I said those things because I was a stupid brat and I didn’t actually mean any of that. I didn’t even know what it meant to love someone. But you … It wasn’t enough for you to make false promises to a nineteen year old Chloe. No, you had to go back in time and lie to a fourteen year old Chloe’s face as well”.

Max turned around, walked over to the fire alarm and retrieved the hammer she was supposed to use on Monday.

Walking back to the mirror, she saw her eighteen year old reflection holding a black notebook covered in colourful stickers.

“You really should give it a read. I don’t know why Joyce and David gave their daughter’s belongings to you of all people. That guy Eliot deserved it way more. You know, the one from kindergarten? At least he loved her. In a possessive, jealous way. But he loved her. Unlike you and Rachel. And he was in her life for way longer than you. The next time you’re going through your victim’s belongings, don’t stop at the pictures you took of her. They only show how you saw her. Read her diary instead. Learn how she saw you”.

Other Max opened the notebook and started reading aloud. Max was already next to the mirror, hammer in her raised hand. But when she heard what had been written, she couldn’t move: “The worst part is that even though we haven’t spoken in months, even though she habitually ignored my texts so much that I just stopped trying, even though I know, deep down, that she doesn't care about me anymore and that she probably has all new friends up in fucking Seattle ... I still miss her. If she came back tomorrow and said ‘hey Chloe, want to dress up like pirates and be stupid together?’, I would take her back in a heartbeat”.

Other Max showed Max the contents of the page. “See? And then she drew a heart and added ‘in a heartbeat’ once more. That’s what she thought of you, bleeding out on the floor. How she would take you back in a heartbeat if you just reached out. But you never did. She never saw you after William’s funeral. She never had the chance to take you back in a heartbeat. Because you never came back. And because you stopped her heart from beating. Forever”.

With an unarticulated scream, Max struck at the mirror. An avalanche of glass shards fell into the sink, mixing with bile. Max breathed heavily. Some of the things the other her said were obvious lies. That she didn’t love Chloe. That she was anything like Jefferson and Nathan. But other things … That she had broken her promise. That she had failed her friend. Max desperately wished those things were lies as well.

Her reflection, its voice distorted, as it was now coming from dozens of glass shards at the same time, dealt her a final blow: “Live with the consequences of your actions, Max. Or don’t. I’m fine either way”.

“Oh, I’m not going to live with them. But not in the way you want me to”.

“What, are you trying to tell me you’re going to find your courage and confidence? That part of you is all shrivelled up, almost dead. You’re never going to find her alone”.

“I’m not alone. I have my best friend to help me”.

Max walked over to the corner she had cowered in on Monday. She looked everywhere, but the photograph she had dropped five days earlier was nowhere to be found. She turned to the trash cans, picking them up and emptying them onto the floor. She knelt and started going through the piles of slimy garbage with her bare hands, begging whoever and whatever was listening for the butterfly picture to turn up. It didn’t.

[terminal-doll-theatre]

Canon Clara Timeline #2: Clara Begins Her Eldritch Downfall I Assume

That’s right we’re continuing this. Previously, Clara was abducted by Eden while looking for mushrooms and managed to convince her to let her leave for a day at a time.

This time:

Currently, Clara’s been completely skating by on payments, barely having enough every week. Her first big plant sale seems to have helped a lot, in that she’s broken £1000 for the first time by quite a margin. Woo!

She won the science fair easily (well... Not that easy if you consider she got abducted about it, but she had a 100% chance of winning, so like... WAS it worth it? I’ll leave that up to you.

She’s currently working up the nerve to uh. Strip behind a tree for money. She fully intends to do it, don’t get me wrong. It’s just. ... Hard. She’s not there yet.

Upon coming home after getting a bunch of money, she saw Kylar in her room, huffing bedsheets. She... Hardly knows Kylar at this point. Like. Politely chats and waves to them sometimes. That’s it. She just... Walked away and waited for him to go. Any doubt of Kylar being creepy is now Gone.

Clara, having a bit of money, checked out the Hookah parlour. Because... Yeah, she would.  She had a bad, eldritch trip, buuuut I got awareness and willpower out of it - and I particularly want to grind willpower for Clara, quietly stubborn fucker that she is, so she’ll probably be back. She’s a fucking lovecrafitan horror protagonist that goes mad because she MUST UNDERSTAND, I’m telling you.

After that, she went to the farms for the first time! Idk, I’ve been wanting to check them out and get to know Alex better and she seems like the PC for the job. Clara gave Alex a vague answer about where she lives, doubting it would really come up.

Upon returning, she met Landry. ... This will be important later. : ) Whitney was also at the bar that day. Clara snuck out lol

At school, Clara discovered Kylar’s shrine! It’s ALL coming out, huh. She didn’t want to confront him - as that seems dangerous, so she just walked away.

Clara continues to eat lunch with Robin daily - and then spend the rest of lunch time with Sydney. In one of my RPs, we ended up having Clara be kind of an assistant librarian on certain days of the week, even without them being together and I like that thought. It’s not in the game, but I might keep that in the Canon Clara Timeline, too...

Clara found someone on stimulants in the hall! Clara did what any good sane person would do and uh... Yeah, she didn’t do shit. She just got that free bit of insight and called it a day.

Someone at the office tried to forcibly strip her. Last time this happened, she lost her clothes - and she can’t exactly fight, so with much difficulty and truly infuriating that person in the process, she managed to make them cum while holding onto her skirt. Ultimately, she had to take them off anyway, but she did get them back...

Clara is beginning to have feelings about Eden, having to see her so much. It’s... Scary. But she doesn’t have the shortcut through the woods yet making the trip too long for a short visit to make sense - and even holding her visits off as much as she feels safe doing so, she can’t hide too long. It’s... A lot.

When she got back to the orphanage, Clara saw Robin had sold her console. It Begins.

Clara met the panty freak! Woo! She uh... Sure does need the money (especially seeing as she’s gonna be paying for Robin too, soon) and frankly, she needs the stealing practice.

After that, Clara had her first sex for money, thinking of it being just a one off so she could buy Robin a new console without it being an issue for her wallet. : ) Just a one-off. Once again, barely protected her virginities. I  wanna save them for named characters!!! However, she made the guy quite annoyed in the process and didn’t make very good money... Better get more skilled, huh...

Clara went to watch a movie with Robin, thinking she might want some entertainment, without her games. Clara likes horror, but Robin really didn’t seem in the mood for it, so they watched a romance movie. Clara... Wasn’t really into this one, but Robin was super engrossed, so mission accomplished.

“ You listen to Robin talk about the film. She enjoyed it more than you, and her delight is infectious. Maybe it wasn't so bad. “

This is so cute...

Sydney wrote on Clara’s arm intentionally for the first time. With all the times people have written degrading stuff on her, including Eden - the person she’s currently having shameful feelings about, having a nice thing written on her both activated certain brain neurons and felt bizarre in its niceness. Anyway, Clara was quite a bit more flustered than she looked, there. I like to picture her tugging at her shirt to see her shoulder and smiling at it time to time before she washed it off.

Clara got her week of freedom!! Wooooooo

And then shortly after, got the masseuse job! Pretty fuckin early too, from my experience. All that jacking people off to keep their dicks away from her holes, y’see...

[morgandria]

Yesterday I paid for three days of activity and social interaction in a row. Another sudden temp change brought me a migraine today, but Mom is chatty today, about woo things. We haven't talked in a while, and I do my best not to ignore her woo things when she wants to chat about them, because it's best to be timely. Thus I have given up on sleep, and am shuffling around my kitchen making faces at the mess while making frequent stops at the computer.

I guess my Grandmother (her mother) came to visit in her dreams last night, and handed her her phone. She's not sure what to do with that. I suggested she go sit out in the garden and just listen, and watch. It's Grandma's favorite time of year. She says she talks with her through hummingbirds. For me, it's cardinals. She loved them both.

The rest of this post is just me dumping my very random and malfunctioning brain out before I lose it, so read at your own risk. It is very woo.

Not surprised about my mother's dream. The last few days have been busy, even (especially) when I'm dreaming. One night I did nothing but hop between odd little pockets of reality, all of which seemed to be collapsing in on themselves and dying in runaway cataclysm, chaotic cancerous overgrowth, or just plain entropy. I couldn't do anything but witness a while before leaving them to their ends, but that also seemed to be the point? A relief that someone saw them, someone knew they were. That was before the new moon.

Also, I have become aware that over the last month I seem to be teaching witchcraft in my dreams, although I could not tell you to whom I am doing so. The last couple nights there's also been a mix-in of assembling groups (a 'coven' in one case - not quite the right word but the one that was used), untangling complex threads of corrupted things, flushing out nasty stagnant energy blockages, and in one case removing a deeply embedded parasite from someone (who them wound up joining the aforementioned 'coven' once they were free). At some point I was flying around delivering messages (no idea to whom or from whom they were), interspersed with frequent stops to feast on copious amounts of raw meat on the bone.

And yes, after all of -that-, what follows is what stands out.

I was dead yesterday afternoon - the sort of pain-induced sleep where I fall off the planet dead, which is rare for me as a light sleeper. Deep dreams. I wound up wandering into a church.

It is not unusual for me to be in and out of churches of varying types in my dreams. I love some of them in waking life as well - their architecture, their art, the way some of them smell, light through their stained glass, and their quiet calm spaces. In my dreams, churches have the benefit of not usually being Christian at all and some of them are quite unusual.

This one had...two faces. The whole building was grey stone, plainly dressed. There was no real ornamentation, except for twilight/starlight/dawnlight through glassless windows and curling vines creeping inside trailing tiny white flowers. There was no overt difference in appearance between the two, but I could distinctly tell between them. A certain slant of light, a deepening shadow. People were progressing between individual stations of some kind. Half the people there seemed to find whatever they were doing very unpleasant, but grimly kept going about it. Others seemed to find great joy or pleasure. But they were doing the exact same things.

I sat and I watched, seemingly from the rafters. I felt a vague sense of bemusement from the whole thing, but it wasn't strictly mine. After a while I became more aware of myself, rather than just being vaguely present - wrapped up in black-feathered wings, there but not. I followed this procession of persons as they went through their stations but stopped well before the end of them. They trailed off into the distance, fading into little flickering flames wrapped in mist and shadow and violet gloaming.

The bemused other coalesced into something more collected, but not really visible. Just a presence, but certainly there - the presence of Lucifer. I'm still getting familiar with them, so I don't always cotton on that it's Lucifer right away. Sometimes they wear the face of Baphomet. Sometimes they're a shadow, faceless with horns and surrounded by falling, blackened feathers. But often it's just a soft presence, a velvet violet gloaming streaked with gold.

We just sat and watched the lights for a while, nothing to really say. The rafters of the church had become the branches of a vast tree, trailing little white flowers in the wind. I felt it blow through my wings, and...curl around my horns. (I had noticed in January that my aura seemed to have acquired horns. but this was the first time they'd manifested otherwise.) I guess I must have seemed slightly disconcerted, but Lucifer just chuckled, then sighed softly.

"You know, those have always been there. You just hadn't claimed them yet. They're another kind of crown, just one amongst the many you wear. Like your wings, you'll get used to them.

You're always welcome here, this place between worlds. Come and unground yourself once in a while. I know how much you hate having dirty feet."

Their presence began to fade, grow diffuse. I was left in silence, in feathers, in wind and flowers with one parting phrase:

"Momento vivire."

[umichenginabroad]

Week 7: Kicking Off Spring Break in Dublin

This week began with a mix of schoolwork, family visits, and the long-awaited start of spring break. Spring break usually hits right around the most grueling part of the semester, but being in Prague has made everything feel a little lighter and more exciting. Still, I was definitely ready for a change of pace, and break did not disappoint. It’s also hard to believe we’re already at the halfway point of the semester. Time is flying, but the semester’s been packed and super fun so far!

Updates from the Villa (School)

Even though break is in full swing, school didn’t slow down earlier in the week. In my Communications class, we submitted the first of four Reflective Development Papers, each one focused on a different area of personal and professional growth. This first paper centered around “intercultural agility”, which refers to how we navigate and adapt in cross-cultural settings. It was a nice opportunity to reflect on how living in Prague and traveling across Europe has challenged me to connect with people in new ways. (I also referenced this blog in my reflection!) Writing it helped me realize just how many small moments (learning bits of Czech, chatting with locals, or just adjusting to different social norms) have already shaped my perspective.

In Czech class, we’ve been learning vocabulary related to food and drinks (very important stuff), and selecting a Czech person for our famous personality presentations. I chose Ester Ledecká, a Czech snowboarder who won gold at the 2018 Winter Olympics. I’ve been snowboarding since I was five and love watching snowboarding events during the X Games and Olympics (shoutout to Chloe Kim, my favorite snowboarder of all time), so this project feels personal and super fun to work on. Also, I’m going skiing in the Austrian Alps after Dublin (woo!!) so the timing couldn’t be more perfect; stay tuned for that!

In Leadership, we’ll be diving into our Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality assessment results after break, and I’m curious to see how mine line up with how I’ve been approaching work and things abroad so far. MBTI is a tool that helps people increase self-awareness and appreciate differences in others. In the context of the course, it helps us understand how we approach tasks individually and in teams. The results give you a combination of four letters:

E or I (Extraversion or Introversion)

S or N (Sensing or INtuition - how you take in information)

T or F (Thinking or Feeling - how you make decisions)

J or P (Judging or Perceiving - how you interact with the world)

My results were ENTJ, and personality breakdown provided some pretty detailed insights into my strengths, weaknesses, and communication style. It’s a super interesting personal assessment, I definitely recommend taking it if you haven’t already!

Software Engineering class has begun lectures on AI, which has been especially engaging since it overlaps with what I’m learning in my Intro to AI class this semester. I always appreciate when classes connect like that, it helps material click and opens up new ways to apply what we’re learning.

A Visit from my Tíos

My aunt and uncle were visiting from DC after spending time in Madrid, and they stopped in Prague for a few days. I got to spend some really lovely time with them, which was such a treat and a little slice of home. They took me and my roommate Isa out to a very nice dinner at U Malířů, it was definitely the nicest restaurant I’ve been to since arriving and is one of the oldest restaurants in Prague. I ordered the duck confit and ended the night with a rich chocolate ganache dessert (I am such a chocolate lover).

They also invited me and a couple friends to a jazz show at Reduta Jazz Club, which had a cozy, intimate vibe. I love listening to live music, especially jazz, and I have a few jazz vinyls back home that I’ve been missing but the show definitely filled that need. The music was incredible, and the lead singer’s voice gave me chills.

Dublin: Spring Break Begins with Patty's!

The first half of spring break kicked off with a trip to Dublin with six friends from Michigan who are also studying abroad in different parts of Europe. We stayed in a cozy Airbnb cottage just outside the city and spent a few days exploring, eating, and enjoying the nonstop energy of Dublin during St. Patrick’s Day weekend. We arrived late Friday and left early Tuesday, most people did Thursday to Sunday, but I liked our timeline and was glad we stayed for the Monday parade! The city was packed with college students, and there were so many Michigan people there too! It almost felt like being back on campus, just with more Guinness :)

The pubs were definitely a huge highlight of the trip. There was live music everywhere, and every night turned into a full-on singalong. I made a playlist of all the songs we kept hearing, classics like “Mr. Brightside” (a Michigan favorite) and “Wonderwall” by Oasis. Here’s a link to the playlist if you want to feel like you were there too!

One of the main activities recommended to us in Dublin was the Guinness Storehouse tour, so we bought tickets in advance and it ended up being one of the best parts of the trip. We were there for about five hours, it was way more engaging than I expected. We learned what Guinness is made of (just four ingredients: water, barley, yeast, and hops), and that it’s actually 95% water. There was a tasting room where they taught us how to properly drink it (big gulps, not sips), and we got to see how their branding has evolved over the years—complete with the iconic toucan and “Lovely Day for a Guinness” slogan. We also opted for an activity where they took a picture of our group and printed it onto the foam of the Guinness. As a latte art lover, this was such a fun moment. Lastly, the gift shop was a little dangerous… we all walked away with merch, and I picked up with a jersey and some wall decorations for my house back in Ann Arbor.

We were lucky enough to be there for the St. Patrick’s Day parade on Monday, which was such a fun experience. Before the parade, we grabbed brunch where the barista made my latte with another super cute design that I want to share, one of my favorite small joys. The parade itself was full of floats, music, and an overall atmosphere of celebration. We wrapped up our trip with a bit of exploring around Trinity College, which had such a peaceful campus and sunny fields perfect for relaxing.

Now it’s time to swap Guinness for goggles for my next stop where I’ll be skiing in St. Anton for the second half of spring break!

Thanks for reading,

Natalie

[stokesy55]

Plus because they are bonded he will always feel a draw to Patty, no matter how much he wants to hate him

***

ooh the bond makes things so difficult for vk because he wants to love pat and be loved by him in return, but because of his past experiences, he's scared of seeking love in case he doesn't receive it. but the bond is such that no matter how much he tries to push pat away, it hurts him only. vk is stuck in this awkward place where he craves pat's love and care, but is also simultaneously too scared of receiving it lest pat decide to snatch it back when vk doesn't meet his expectations. he has to decide: does he want to give it a shot with pat, or does he want to stay as far as away from him as possible, in case it doesn't work out. unfortunately, he chooses the latter. he's been heartbroken too many times to be hurt again, and he knows if it doesn't work out with pat, it'll hurt him more than any previous relationships did, because of the bond. he knows that if pat hurts him, he'll never get over that hurt. and he doesn't want that for himself. so he withdraws, he never gives pat an opportunity to grow close with him. his logic is that if they aren't close, pat can't hurt him, or at least can't hurt him as much as he could if they end up getting attached. so vk just pines quietly after pat, indulging himself in fantasies of having a happy, healthy relationship with his husband. but every time pat attempts to turn these fantasies into reality, vk pushes him away, afraid of the day pat eventually gets tired of him and leaves him, like everyone else did. he knows that day is going to come regardless, but it would be easier to deal with it if he isn't attached to pat when it happens.

that is initially, before vk finds out about the cheating. when he does, he's just further convinced that nobody will love him for who he is, not even his own bonded alpha. and the walls he's built around his heart get higher and stronger.

then pat ends his affair and comes back to vk, wanting to try again with him. i think by this point, vk has grown self-aware enough, with the help of people around him, to realize that his own actions pushed pat away, he's partially at fault here. but he still hasn't changed enough to want to make it work with pat. to begin with, of course he's scared because what if pat cheats on him with mitch again? he wouldn't survive that hurt, he's sure of that. but also, he's guilty that his own issues were what led pat to desert him, and he knows he's nowhere close to improving. now he knows that he hurt pat too, he's scared of hurting pat again, as well as pat hurting him, and then getting caught in this vicious circle all over again.

so when pat tries to woo vk, vk instead tries to redirect him to mitch, because "he's better for you. he'll treat you better than i can. i already hurt you once, i couldn't live with myself if I do so again. i can't give you the time he can. i can't give you the attention he does. you wanted time right? and care? and love? you better go back to him. i can never love you the way he does, because im far too selfish. i will hurt you again in the process of trying to avoid hurt to myself, and I don't want to risk that. you have a chance of a happy, healthy relationship with mitch. don't give that up because you fancy being a social worker, trying to fix the poor, broken, messed up omega. you can't fix me. nobody can. just go away. i'll hurt you again."

-- psych anon

That’s such an interesting take on VK here. Obviously he has to have self realisation and understanding of how he handled the situation for them to have a chance to grow closer, but I still don’t think VK would ever be that open about how he’s feeling to have such a clear conversation with Pat (because otherwise there wouldn’t be such issues).

The thorn in his side though is once Pat decides he wants it to work with VK and he doesn’t want to be with Mitch anymore, there isn’t anything VK can do to persuade Pat any different. He’ll be like a dog with a bone, not letting go of what he almost lost from being childish and stupid. Pat feels like if he’d just listened to VK, understood his side, saw why he was pushing him away, he could have saved all this hurt and they could have made it work.

Pat blames himself like VK blames himself, but he feels guiltier for also being the betraying party because, no matter what VK felt or did, he NEVER slept with another alpha after they bonded, even though he gave him every reason to.

[here4theheartbreak]

Yesss. KQ are definitely aware of who makes them their (mega massive sacks of) money. And Ateez do seem to be well looked after. There's been so many horror stories... it makes a nice change!

For real, I don't know how they have (or film) so much content for us. It's incredible. And I definitely don't know when they're sleeping. It's not like they just go home and sleep; it seems like most of them enjoy gaming?? So, maybe backstage?? Or in the car?? 😴😂

The drinking episodes are so worth the wait! Chaotic, hilarious, and a little unhinged. It's the best~! I've watched them several times. 😂 And Yeosang, not drinking much, and being basically sober in the midst of it all is utter perfection!✨

Woosan definitely have the whole 'we would have met each other no matter what' vibe about them! I'm sure you already know this, but so many of the members are connected through some kind of pre-debut 'destiny' that it's hard to argue against it. It feels special. 💫

Yesss. Omg. When Woo asked San if he regretted his tattoo and San instantly said 'never'. I was just sitting there, looking at my phone like 'of course, as expected of Woosan'. ☂️💕

They can bicker like no one else has ever bickered in the history of bickering. Which is beyond hilarious. But it's exactly like that energy that exists between siblings. That: 'Yes, I hate that loser, but they're MY loser, so don't you even dare to GLANCE at them wrong or I'll absolutely eviscerate you'. Top tier stuff. Truly. (I'm suddenly having flashbacks to that day on Idol Radio where they weren't talking (?) but ended up hugging it out during Fake Love??) 😂

Hahahaaaaah! I don't know why that's so funny to me? You were just trying to get into San, and he kept making sure you knew about Wooyoung. Like 'Hello, yes, I'm Choi San, but have you seen this man that I adore? Isn't he great?'

You're so right. Without a doubt, Wooyoung is always gonna be that person that's there if someone needs him. Ateez called him their 'glue' and said they're only so close because of him, and you can literally see it. 🦊🌟

Yessss. So much talent! And that that talent is only increasing, and the members are slowly but surely trying/doing new things to expand on that talent, is so heartening!

It's a shame you weren't there from the early days (bless youtube for trying so hard) buuuuut, as you know, there's so much to watch and dip into. I really think it'll feel like you've been here all along~! And the most important thing is being Atiny right now! 😊

Yunho really is something! He's veeeery cute! And very funny! His humour is impeccable. What a man! 🐶👑

Exactly THIS! There's no least favourites. Listing them is just:

Bias.

Bias wrecker.

Everyone.

But 'everyone' is also somehow IN first and second place too. 🤔😂

Don't Stop is so good! And I love the MV concept. All I EVER see when I watch it is a mom plotting with his kids to retrieve all of dad's belongings because he's having a crisis and he's setting stuff on fire. And the end?? When Hwa drops that bag of cash and possessions on the floor in front of Joong? Chef's kiss! Should have won an Oscar, in my opinion! 👏👏👏

Jongho.... 'the softest insurrectionist you’ll ever see'. WHERE IS THE LIE?

Also, can I just say, all of this new content with Ateez and kids is too much!! Whyyyyyy? It's got me so weak. First the Copy/Paste thing and then the Baby Cloud thing. I am just a person. Let me live! TOO CUTE. TOO SWEET. TOO WHOLESOME.

And shout out to the stylists this comeback (both clothes AND hair) because there are so many looks I LOVE. What a triumph!

Also, I just saw this photo and now...

....I'm absolutely devastated... 😍😍😍😍😍

They are truly such well rounded guys! I’m honestly impressed. At this point getting into a new group, unfortunately, I expect to find a whole pile of past problems either with the group or the company; it’s become less “no problems” and more “no recent problems” and “how did they handle the problems. These guys have genuinely the fewest red flags I’ve ever seen in a group that’s been around longer than a year or so. 😂 - it’s so refreshing.

I have heard the group ‘destiny’ connections! My friend that got me into them gave me a whole rundown about how each member was linked up with another member prior to debut, it was wild. We hear a lot of groups saying like oh, it’s fate, etc - but I don’t think I’ve EVER heard a pre-debut story that really is linked in such a deep way. That’s so cool though, like - I don’t know how much I believe in fate or karma or all of that; I think I do to some degree, but stuff like this really sorta makes me believe it even more. My friend joked that their fandom was destiny as well; we find them/they find us at the fated right time too, which I thought was a super sweet way of looking at it - added to the literal “destiny” in the fandom name 😭- and makes me feel less mad at myself for missing out for so long, because I found then when I was supposed to and when they’d be the most fulfilling in my life, so that’s okay too, it was destiny.

I have watched that Idol Radio bit! That was one of the first things I saw regarding Woosan actually; because I was curious how they fought. Some of my tom and jerry types, they’re chaotic but they can get a little nasty with each other when they fight - so I was curious how these two handled it - and it was genuinely the sweetest thing V_V — the awkward silence that even Jongho noticed, the gentle attempts at reconciliation that went unnoticed, and the final just giving in and hugging during the song (also the on-point choice of song, are we kidding lol) — that was so damn sweet, you can just SEE the relief in their shoulders when they hugged.

🤣 It’s true though - I wouldn’t have given Wooyoung a second glance if he hadn’t been attached to San’s hip at every single turn. I actually assumed I’d bias San and Yeo; bc I know San is v soft on him too, but apparently I wasn’t allowed to choose my second… He’s my main bias wrecker tho - I always need a wrecker that’s an unfortunate (tho sometimes willing) tug of war toy between my two biases and he fits the bill better than any third I’ve ever had - omfg the Christmas vlive when Woo was complaining about Yeo not talking to him and the members were like but you ignored him first with San!! - the way I melted, esp when Woo was so O.O I DID?! and his tight hug - he’s so caring and I genuinely can’t picture a mean thing from that guy.

I will note about the Oscar - their acting is wildly good??? Like - they really sell their roles in the mvs and it’s so fun to see? Let them act in their own drama or something! I know Jongho has done OSTs (his fucking VOICE - that is a whole other essay I could go into because I have never. It’s mind blowing every damn time I hear him. CHILLS) - but anyways, they need to do drama roles too!

Oh my fucking god the kids content has been ABSOLUTELY SLAUGHTERING ME. A rule - my biases at the very least need to be amazing with kids and cats. And oh my God this group is just amazing. I’ve watched the Baby Cloud thing three times since it came out and every time I am in tears by the end from just how cute it is. How the hell, this is a group of early 20-something chaotic guys, they have no right to be this damn gentle and perfect with kids, they know exactly what to do and how to handle them. And even when they’re a bit awkward they still work past it super fast to make sure the kid is comfortable and not scared. Literally a group of walking green flags, the whole lot of them. Save some green flags for the rest of k-pop, huh? San’s genuine near tears little smile with the twins he and Woo were watching V_V - Truly - gonna be the best parents ever. Wooyoung was so fond of Jaiden during the Copy/Paste V_V and they were so sweet to the one little girl who seemed super nervous, Lina? I think? She was so scared and they tried so hard to make her feel at ease. (Also can I just point out how easily kids seem to gravitate to Woo? A damn good sign of a person’s nature, kids and pets, I’m telling you - it’s my reason for having it be a requirement lol).

The stylists this comeback have been absolutely killing it. I don’t think there’s been a stage I’ve disliked in terms of outfits (side note, the recent jacket San’s been wearing, the GOTH one - I WANT THAT JACKET. — I also heard that Jongho said he was only gonna keep the ashy purple for a week or so and I’m so sad, he looks amazing with it and he doesn’t change his hair near enough V_V

That photo V_V Sweet Mingi - he deals with so much from that group 🤣 they love him in the most chaotic way and it’s so sweet. He’s one of those extreme duality types too like - I’ve watched this man scream higher than Jongho’s notes and run away from the littlest thing - yet he’s on stage pretending to flat out murder people, like… Please explain 🤣(I love that though, the way they get so into these very opposite roles and embrace them for the performance).

This fanmeet tho — either this one or the one right before this one - did you see Wooyoung’s little kiss attempt at San? I think I saw Yunho age about five years 🤣He’s always the accidental victim of their odd affections lol

[aprillikesthings]

woo 10:43 to go

byyyyyyyye

omg Entrapta's happy shriek-laugh

"You did it! I knew you could!" she fucking gets out of her restraints, she could've done it at any time, lol

OH NO Horde Prime jumped into Hordak's body before he hit the ground D:

"Ah, little brother. So it's true. You have been thoroughly corrupted. So be it."

(the way this is worded actually sort of implies, imho, that Entrapta and Hordak did in fact have sex at some point, given how right-wing Christians talk about "corruption." Like so many other things in this show I am left wondering if the implication was on purpose.)

He grabs poor Entrapta by the hair again.

"You have forced my hand."

"and so we shall die in cleansing flame together!"

yeah this is definitely a reference to the rapture/Second Coming

(okay time for a short aside on this, because I run into this a lot with people raised in evangelical/right-wing churches: the rapture is bad theology and most Christians do not and have never believed in it. The concept as currently described didn't exist until 1827, and to this day it's only believed by a small minority of Christians--it's just that those Christians are a majority in parts of the USA and a few other places. It's based on a really badly out-of-context reading of a tiny handful of verses. And I am genuinely sorry if you grew up in one of the churches that made you constantly terrified it was going to happen any day now. The Gospel means "good news," and making people--especially children!--terrified of the rapture is anything but.)

But yeah Horde Prime snaps his fingers and they disappear

Back on Etheria, the rest of the rebellion is holding off bots and clones, and Scorpia is helping now yay! Also Bow and Glimmer have a cute reunion

Horde Prime's ship is waayyyyy too close to them. Horde Prime and Entrapta appear

"for your end has finally come! You have chosen darkness, and so, into darkness you shall be plunged." Cliffs start breaking up and shit, and that green light is everywhere

Bow and Glimmer cling to each other. "The Failsafe...it didn't work."

Prime is still fucking doing a sermon apparently. "And when the ashes scatter, at last, there will be, peace!"

There's a bright light, and then:

aaaaugghghhhgh oh god

my adrenaline shot through the roof again

there's still earthquakes happening

Adora looks past Catra and she turns around

yeah that's not good

aaaugh

Adora whispers "I'm sorry"

;_;

In every way except physical, I am running around the house screaming

Adora's eyes start to slide close and Catra's voice gets faint and I paused it because I know what happens next and AAAAHHHGHGHGHGH

*sobs*

we see/hear like a couple of bits of static and Adora narrows her eyes: she's well aware this isn't physically happening at that exact moment

and given all the varying things she's been made to experience via this sort of hologram/magic thing I can't blame her for being REAL WARY right now

but then the door opens behind her :D

Glimmer: "Just let me brush it!" Catra, laughing: "No!"

omg i love these two's interactions

I mean yeah

awwww

(also according the Princess Prom episode they're every ten years. If three or four years passed in canon, then this is happening six or seven years after the end of the show. Which means I firmly believe there's at least two kids of Glimmer and Bow's somewhere in Bright Moon, probably with Micah)

i can't. she's so cute.

*sobs into a pillow*

Adora's smile here before reaching back is so soft

wahhhhh

unfortunately, it's still an illusion. Catra glitches out.

yeah that's gonna give Adora nightmares

"Not for you."

oh god oh god oh god

(Someone pointed out a thing I hadn't noticed: Catra's actually saying all these things really quietly, in a huge noisy room due to electrical stuff and magic and earthquakes. But Adora, while struggling to regain full consciousness, hears them as though Catra is shouting, and it's all she can hear. ;_;)

(hah, I said that, in a lot more words, in my rewatch post for Failsafe)

LOL I HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT I knew it was going to happen like halfway through this scene lol hold on

LAST EPISODE

s5 ep13 heart pt 2

LET'S GOOOOOOO

it's 1:21pm and I have laundry to do AND Easter Vigil service starts at 8pm, can I get this all watched before 7pm?

Or am I gonna sit there in church vibrating in place for two hours knowing I have three minutes left on the episode or some bullshit lol

(That's longer than usual, yes. Easter Vigil is actually one of my fave services of the year--we start outside lighting candles (the ones inside have been out since Thursday night, even the one we otherwise never put out), then walk into the dark church, then sorta speedrun bits of the old testament (with a hymn after every reading) and then we decide OKAY IT'S EASTER NOW :D and turn on the lights and make a lot of noise and sing a few more hymns--we don't sing or say alleluia during Lent so all the hymns have that in it. There's often MASSIVE amounts of church incense, too. Anyway by the end it's a bit of a party. Apparently some churches have an actual party after the service.)(side note if you're new-ish to these posts that I'm Episcopalian, like, the priests at my church are a gay man and a woman, we're cool people mostly I promise)

See this is why these posts take forever. Why do I keep infodumping shit. This is what it's like to watch things with me in person, though.

If I get through this episode before Easter Vigil my reward is gonna be coming home and taking an edible and rewatching the last two episodes without screenshots so I can just cry over them.

oKAY

eh? that's new. like putting that on screen like that in dead silence. No intro sequence.

oh right Adora is injured. :( And it's some kind of magical monster thing that did it--a security thing put into the Crystal Castle by the First Ones

when she touches her wound the Failsafe glows, and it's making static-y noises and looking glitchy, that can't be good

the nasty tentacle monster thing is still there buT SO IS CATRA YAYYYY she shatters at least one of its eyeballs? I think?

my brain: this is like Caitlyn helping Vi after she got stabbed by Sevika, the wound is even in the same place :D me: wrong person has the red jacket on also Catra isn't going to buy some illegal potion thing to dose Adora with

(you should watch Arcane)

DOES SHE EVER SAY IT LIKE THAT BEFORE THIS?? oh god she sounds so breathless and relieved

Adora: "You can't be here! It's too dangerous"

And she stands up and starts to fall over and fucking Shadow Weaver helps her stand up, uGH

LOOK AT MY BB KICKING ASS

oh god so Shadow Weaver basically drags off Adora, Catra's like "I'll catch up, okay?" and Adora's like "no no Catraaaaa" her voice is cracking and everything, she doesn't want to do this without her and also worries about Catra and that tentacle monster thing

I'm not gonna screenshot it but poor Glimmer is fighting her dad, who is still chipped and Evil.

Bow is fighting Scorpia, also chipped and Evil. Oh hey Melog shows up and makes Bow invisible.

Micah is MEAN when chipped. He calls Glimmer a failure.

Glimmer: "My mother raised me to be brave. My friends taught me to be kind. And I'm stubborn. I get that from you. I will never stop fighting! And I won't lose another parent! I love you, dad."

She blasts him with enough magic that he collapses.

Bow, invisible, types away on Entrapta's computer she set up in the Horde thing, but when he gets it to start to do its thing he gets excited and says "I've got it!!" and Scorpia hears it and blasts him and is standing over him about to get him.

Bow: "Prime may have made you do a lot of things, but he can't turn you into something you're not. So, right now, all I need you to do is trust me."

Her eyes get normal for a second and she yells, and Bow slams a button on Entrapta's computer. There's a bright light.

Where Sea Hawk is holding Mermista, her chip goes dead and falls off. We get a lovely montage of other characters from all over Etheria, like Huntara and the folks at Elberon, who'd been chipped having their eyes go back to normal!

Scorpia: "oh my gosh I am so sorry!!"

yeah she's definitely back to normal lol

up on Horde Prime's ship:

lol

"My device worked! I knew it would!"

Bow: "Hey, everyone. I'm Bow."

(lol there's so much story in just this frame alone)

But yeah they show people from all over Etheria stopping to watch him speak, including his dads.

"Right now, we're the only thing standing in the way of him controlling it forever. You might be feeling hopeless. You might be thinking "We don't stand a chance." And maybe we don't. Prime's too strong. His army is too powerful. But that's not gonna stop us. We need to show Prime we're not afraid of him, because we have each other. And we have love. We can't give up. And if we go down, we go down together. We need you. All of you."

"It's time to fight. For She-Ra, for our homes, for each other!"

Broadcast over, back to Horde Prime. "Put an end to this mockery."

Catra injures the tentacle monster thing, but now that green is spreading into the room, and as Catra runs down the hall towards the Heart, she stops as Horde Prime shows up in hologram form

"I had such high hopes for you." like what, dude. keeping her around and chipped like a fucking puppet as an example? eugh. (something something about how her speeches to Adora while chipped were an obvious reference to people proselytizing high-control faiths)

the moment of distraction is enough for the tentacle monster to grab one of Catra's legs and she screams in pain D:

also there's still a bunch of earthquakes happening as these two limp towards the Heart

Poor Adora is just weakly going "No...no...wait" Shadow Weaver: "Don't lose your focus. We're so close."

What's this WE shit.

But also damn one thing Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime (and Light Hope!) have in common is they both believe love and affection and "attachments" are weaknesses. Shadow Weaver just cannot seem to get it through her head that Adora's love for Catra (and vice versa) is helpful here. Not a detriment. Love isn't a distraction!!! It gives us a stable ground of security and safety from which to do hard things!!

Meanwhile poor Angella told Adora "take care of each other."

This is pulsating, and so is the Failsafe on Adora's chest

OH NO oh god Okay being near that much hardcore magic is making Shadow Weaver powerful--her hair does the floaty thing for the first time since, what, s2? And she starts reaching for it, but THEN--

Adora yells Catra's name and starts walking back towards her, and Shadow Weaver's hair falls down again and she says the most weirdly desperate-sounding "Adora, wait!"

Prime's hologram is still torturing Catra along with the actual tentacle monster

(someone has drawn rule 34 of that thing but I'm not looking for it. I am content to know it exists.)

AND THEN THE MONSTER GETS BLASTED BY SHADOW WEAVER AHAHA NICE

about time she was useful amiright

okay so is this Shadow Weaver actually realizing she's been wrong about The Power of Love, or is this just her begrudgingly accepting that these two are Sold as A Set, Do Not Separate, and unless Catra's there Adora won't be able to use the Failsafe because she'll be looking for Catra the whole time???

Like is this an emotional epiphany or just pragmatism?

oh god so she magically shoves Catra away (towards Adora), but Catra runs back to Shadow Weaver

And y'all I know I talked about this a LOT way back in earlier seasons but I cannot tell you how accurate this keeps being in regards to dealing with an abusive parent. Like if you'd asked me, even after I cut off contact, if I wanted my dad to die, I would've said No! Of course not! At that point I didn't know whether the no-contact thing was temporary or not. I just knew I needed time and space to not be constantly stressed and anxious, for a notification on my phone to not immediately fill me with so much adrenaline my hands shook.

Anyway Shadow Weaver puts up a magical shield to keep Catra back

Shadow Weaver's response is amazingly calm and quiet. "Please, Catra. You need to make sure Adora reaches the Heart. The magic must be set free."

Her fight with Tentacle Monster isn't going well.

Catra's voice is heartbreaking here. "Stop it! It's going to kill you!"

"But you, this is only the beginning for you."

;_;

STICK THAT KNIFE IN AND TWIST IT! YEAH!

Catra's crying "no...no..." and a hand reaches out and grabs hers

LOL FINALLY HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT okay going to reblog

what a moment for it pfft

[expressionbean]

an anonymous ask that got eaten when i posted a few minutes ago but was in my google docs as a backup (thank god):

"Please please forgive me if this is too forward, but your Carrd mentions that you have DID. I have OSDD myself, and I used to love roleplaying but ever since getting the diagnosis I feel like I have to choose one or the other because a lot of people think that CDDs are "roleplay" in and of themselves. Do you have any advice on how to get over that? Has the Tumblr roleplay scene been accepting? Do you often get fakeclaimed?

Thank you so so much for being here! I love your blogs and your writing. 💛"

hi anon! this is super super late, but i wanted to be thorough and i wanted to think carefully about what i say. i hope you're still around to see this and also, welcome to the RPC!

often, people do tend to think a lot of people with CDDs are "roleplaying". really, we're not, but that isn't what you came to ask.

and the stigma sucks, like it REALLY sucks. people with CDDs really aren't allowed to enjoy anything without a bunch of guys on reddit accusing us of literally whatever they can reach for. (usually faking or violence, but i digress)

i'm really still getting over a similar issue myself. it's so so so difficult to openly even enjoy a piece of media (including with other fans of a media), much less create anything and post it. i was formerly almost exclusively a discord and amino PM roleplayer - it's a small bit easier if i am not as open about what i'm doing.

i don't know how recent your diagnosis is (and it's none of my business), but i received mine years ago (2019 if i recall correctly) and it took until this summer for me to dip my toes into the water with the tumblr RPC. i can't remember exactly what compelled me to, but i ended up stumbling across my now-friend kira's blog. he seemed very friendly, so i sent an ask to go over what the heck i needed to do to get acclimated to the community.

i didn't really expect as kind of an answer as i got. i expected maybe some polite, generic thing but it was more than that. it was welcoming.

i was still scared though - i had a lot of things that were making me intimidated. i didn't have pretty formatting or stunning icons or banners or any of that stuff. i just had my writing, my amnesia, and my visual impairment.

and boy, did i not want my friends who know about my DID to know a damn thing about me having interests in media and, even more terrifying, my acquaintences in the RPC to know i have DID. i felt like i had to keep those two things almost totally separate, even though they're both pretty significant.

roleplay is an important creative outlet for me, but DID affects almost every facet of my life (as trauma disorders tend to do). it simply isn't sustainable to keep dividing myself up and hiding parts of myself from one group or the other out of fear of being judged.

i'm still working through that, in all honesty. my whole point in rambling is to show i relate hardcore to this ask, and i'm standing with you in solidarity.

anyway, i eventually (recently) decided enough is enough with being scared of a loud, shitty minority. it's not fair to let people who hate me just for existing dictate what i do for fun. identity politics and cringe culture should die.

i wouldn't tell people they're to be excluded from roleplay for being autistic or bipolar.

just the same, i don't really think it's a normal thing (even on reddit hate groups) for people to say i can't enjoy cooking because i have DID, or that i can't be a musician because i have DID.

roleplay is a hobby just the same as cooking or music, and DID is a mental illness just the same as bipolar. why shouldn't people be allowed to partake in their interests? just because strangers on the internet say not to for whatever ridiculous reason they've come up with on this fine saturday?

ultimately, they should! they should be able to appreciate and express all facets of themselves as freely or as privately as they want to.

obviously, i don't advise blasting your entire identity, location, etc. on tungle dot hellsite or anything unsafe like that, but you get my point.

your diagnosis is just words on paper - nothing's changed fundamentally except having a name for what's been going on. if you need permission, though, here it is: you are allowed to pursue things that bring you joy. you can make a blog and start roleplaying here. it's okay to do that. you are just the same as every other person here and just as worthy of writing with them.

as for more advice, here's some:

• the block button is to be used freely. liberally. you're the curator of your online space - it's fine to make it safe for yourself.

• the tumblr RPC, at least from what i myself have experienced from june 2022 until now, won't bite you. obviously, YMMV, but many people here are very kind and accepting. (staring lovingly at my "amestris no more" pals and all my other mutuals)

• i have not been fakeclaimed by the tumblr RPC from what i can remember. and personally, if it happens, i'd go to my favorite piece of advice: fuck 'em. no one behind a screen is going to know you better than you do! if someone's putting forth time and effort to hurt others, are their words really worth taking to heart?

• remember that it's your hobby, your writing, your space. you deserve that. do what you need to in order to make peace with those facts in yourself.

• remember that a hobby cannot invalidate you or take away what you've been through. hobbies are for your enjoyment.

• you can block triggering topics from appearing! i advise it.

• remember that there are people who will love you just for being yourself! i am one of them! i have so so so much love to hand out to people - please, come and write with me if things are compatible. i would love to see what you have. i'm sure my friends would too. you deserve a space here if you want one.

[theoreticslut]

「 you make things better  」

benedict bridgerton x fem reader

summary: a day of inconveniences leads you to your husband’s arms for some much needed cuddles. 

requested: yes - as part of my inspiration party

word count: 1.6k

warnings: mild stress & stubbornness, pet names (my dear/dearest, my love, darling), brief allusion to spicy times, slightly implied/alluded pregnancy, fluff

a/n: so, first bridgerton fic ever! woo hoo! don’t know how much interaction this piece will get, but i really like it so it’s worth it. also, thank you to the few people who voted on which fandom i should post tonight. i didn’t listen, but i really appreciate you guys helping me out! I’m thinking of posting another piece tomorrow anyway, so maybe i’ll use your guys vote then - aka if you’d like to help decide the next fic here.

To say today hasn’t been the greatest would be an understatement. You wanted nothing more than to lie in bed and try to forget the day you’ve had.

It’s not even that anything terrible happened, but it has just been a cumulative set of little grievances. 

First, you had gone to get yourself another dress, but nothing was fitting or laying quite right on your body. Apparently over the last few months you’ve put on some weight which has made you feel a bit defeated.

Then, you went to have tea and sandwiches with some friends, but ended up spilling  tea on yourself, staining the front of your dress as you did so. Not to mention the fact you stumbled getting out of your carriage earlier that morning which dirtied the hem and your shoes.

On top of all of that, though, you also just didn’t feel great. You were tired and a bit nauseous, sporting a moderate headache as well.

Walking into your home, you were more than ready to give up for the day, asking your lady’s maid to draw a bath for you. Nodding, she - a sweet woman in her early 30s - left to draw you a hot bath.

You weren’t surprised to see that your husband was nowhere to be found. He typically spent his time in the study painting and going over bills. Honestly, you didn’t mind an evening away from him. You really just wanted to relax and forget the day.

~.~

It’s hard to say how long you’ve been in the bath. It’s certainly been long enough for the water to chill to room temperature, but you didn’t yet feel any better.

Hearing a soft knock on the door, you call out for the person to come in, expecting it to be Elise, your maid. However, it’s Benedict that comes into your line of sight.

“Benedict…how are you, my dearest?”

“I should be asking you. Elise said you were feeling unwell?” Your husband’s soothing voice questions.

“It’s nothing. I’m only a little tired.” You try to reassure, meeting his eyes as he kneels down beside the bath.

“You look more than only a little tired, my love. Have you had a bad day?”

“Not particularly. A few things didn’t quite go as intended, but I wouldn’t call my day bad.”

Wanting to get off the topic, you sit up in the tub, pointing over to your robes.

“Would you hand me those, Benedict. Please?”

“Should you not dry yourself with a towel before dressing?”

“Then will you hand me a towel? I can’t reach anything from here, dear.”

Letting a soft smile quirk his lips, he stands up and grabs a towel. Thinking he would simply hand it to you, you go to reach for it when he shakes his head and pulls it back out of reach.

“Get out, love. I will dry you off.”

“That is unnecessary, Benedict. I am fully capable of-“

“I am aware, but I would like to care for my wife should she let me.” He teases, quirking a brow at you in a challenge.

He’s always known you are a bit independent and unwilling to let anyone help you. It’s part of why he fell for you. If you think he’s going to let you take care of yourself right now, though, then you’re sorely mistaken. 

Although you’re refusing to be honest about your day, he knows it hasn’t been good simply by your demeanor. He wants to make it better, even if that means irritating you by not letting you do things on your own.

“You should consider yourself lucky that I love you.” You huff, pulling yourself up from the tub and carefully stepping out.

As soon as you’re on the bath mat, Benedict is wrapping the towel around you, attempting to dry off your torso before moving onto your arms and legs. Being the ever so charming man he is, he places soft kisses to both of your inner thighs before standing back up.

“I consider myself lucky every moment, y/n. You are the best thing to have happened to me.” He smiles, pecking your lips before turning to grab your robes, helping you into those as well.

As soon as you’re situated in your robes, Benedict leads you towards your shared bedroom, hoping to lay with you for a while.

You watch as he sits on the bed, taking off his shoes and undoing a few buttons of his shirt, making sure to undo the cuffs to be as comfortable as possible.

“I say, will you cuddle with me, my love? It feels like it’s been forever since we have done so without it being time for bed.”

Smiling lightly, you find yourself walking over to him, slotting yourself in between his legs as he sits at the edge of the mattress. As soon as you are in reach, though, he’s pulling you onto the sheets with him, drawing a surprised giggle from you as he pulls you close.

“Benedict!”

“Yes, darling?”

“You are an amazement, I must say. Pulling a lady such as myself into bed.”

“Mm, don’t be so coy now, darling. Must I remind you that you are my wife and we’ve done things far more inappropriate than simply pulling you into bed?”

“You mustn’t remind me. I am plenty aware of all the things you and I have done together.” You murmur, chewing on your lip as you recall some of those moments.

You had heard of some things expected from you as a wife from your elder sister, but you were wholly unaware of just how…pleasant…some of them could be. In fact, you can’t help but wonder if your sister even knows of such things existence. 

“Will you tell me about your day yet, darling?” Benedict questions after pressing a kiss to your head.

“There’s nothing much to tell, benedict. I went to the dress shop and had a brief lunch with some friends.”

“Darling, please stop pretending you are fine. I think I can tell when my wife has had a bad day.”

You lie with him a second more in silence before you let out a sigh and curl into his body further.

“What has happened today, darling?”

“Everything, Benedict.” You murmur, on the verge of tears from your day.

“I must get resized for a dress since I have seemed to gain weight the past few months.” 

“At lunch I spilled tea on myself, and I happen to favour the dress I wore today. I embarrassed myself by staining such a beautiful piece of clothing in front of my friends, and I am not sure they’ll forget.”

At your clear distress, you feel Benedict wrap his arms around you tighter, sweeping your hair away from your face so he can look at you.

“I am sure they will. No one remembers spilt tea for long.”

“I am not so sure. These friends are merely to stay in good graces in the ton’s eyes. They do not truly care for me as others do.”

“Darling, I would not worry yourself about these ladies’ opinions. If they feel they must spread such a story around the ton, then they are simply reflecting how little they truly have.”

“One split cup of tea does not make you any less respectable, I swear to it.” Benedict comforts, rubbing circles into your back as you lay together.

Minutes pass without either of you sharing a word, but you have a feeling he’s not done talking about your day yet.

“Is there anything else contributing to your bad day, darling?”

At your lack of response, he sighs, continuing to rub circles into your back.

“I will not leave until I know you are better.” He simply states, hoping that will get you to start talking.

“I hope you will not leave regardless.” You murmur, voice slightly muffled by him and the sheets you have buried yourself into.

“What was that, my love?”

“I hope you will not leave regardless.” You reiterate, lifting your head up so he can hear you.

“If you wish it, I will stay here with you for the entirety of the night.”

“I do wish it. You make things better, benedict.”

“I am glad, darling. I still wish to know what else is causing you distress, though.”

“I have been feeling unwell, but not like an illness.” You admit, not sure how else to explain it.

“How do you mean?”

“I am tired, Benedict. So tired, and nauseous, but not all the time. The nausea comes and goes as it pleases.”

“And I’ve never known my body to ache more than it has the last few weeks.” You admit, sighing in frustration at your lack of health.

“Why have you not informed me of such before now? We could have called for the doctor at the first signs of your uncomfortableness.”

“I did not think it was of concern until recently.”

“Darling, I would rather you tell me if something feels slightly off than for you to suffer in silence.” 

“I will call for the doctor in the morning to come examine you, alright?”

“Yes. In the morning. Please just lay here with me for now, my love.”

“Anything you wish, my darling wife. Anything you wish.” Benedict smiles, pulling you into him, his arms tightly wrapped around your frame.

Although bad days are inevitable, you’re sure that they will always be bearable as long as you have your husband. That is if you let him in on what you’re feeling.

please reblog if you enjoyed the fic! 

i currently don’t have a taglist form for bridgerton, but if there’s enough of you that seem to like my writing for the show then i might just fix that. let me know! xx

[felikatze]

jay analysis time. fuck you

best take i've seen on wildbrain era jay is that he woobified himself and i think there's a rlly good case to be made for that tbh

like first of all we know he's an attention whore. this has been a thing since day one. he already has a history of adapting himself to be more like what he thinks others want from him

we first see this most clearly in s1 with his affection for nya; he puts on a front and tries to play the cool guy, even at the detriment to his health (i.e getting turned into a snake) and he only unlocks his true potential when nya accepts him for who he is after he drops the act

and then we have his response to zane's death in s3 being to start a tv career, where he's. obviously putting on a show to get people's attention it's kind of what you do at that job.

notably jay is also. self conscious of this trait? how he will forbid anyone from talking abt his tv career ever

he doesnt just want attention he's additionally vry afraid of disappointing people and s12 confirms he like. developed abandonment issues after s6.

like in s12 what allows him to reach out to unagami is bonding over how he was abandoned, too, and a solid (checks watch) six seasons after skybound we know being abandoned still rattles him (never change, ninjago) he's vry vry afraid of it happening again and being alone

as a result he appears vry afraid to upset others and be isolated which we see in several ways.

for upsetting others i'd point to his s13 interactions with the munce queen. like, her affection makes him obviously uncomfortable, yet he's not directly saying anything against it, bcuz he sees no way to turn her down without upsetting her. he only puts up minimum effort to defend nya who is, ykno, his fiancee. in the end, nya defeating the munce queen in a duel redirects the munce queen's ire at nya and preserves her good opinion of jay.

for being afraid of being alone i'd actually point at the league of jay in s12. once jay is isolated from his friends, he not only immediatly befriends scott, but also gains a large following. superstar rockin jay is a front similar to his tv show host days (when he was similarly isolated from his friends, albeit for different reasons). it's a lot of superficial attention that keeps him from feeling bad, and seeking that out was one of the first things he did in the game.

notably, the league of jay practically vanishes after jay reunites with the ninja, cuz he doesnt need them anymore now that his friends are back. he was using them as a replacement until they went and got him. kinda reminds me of the replacement ninja in s6. he didnt believe he could go against the sky pirates alone (fair tbh) so he gathered literal replacements for his friends. love how he knows echo zane exists but doesnt try to get him cuz jay doesnt need echo zane outside the replacement ninjas. fucker.

in s12 we also see him try to show off a lot, which happens in previous seasons too (looking at his attempts to woo nya by twisting himself again, in both s1 and s6), so here we see him try for adoration again.

all around jay is a social chameleon, and always has been. he constantly puts on various fronts for various people, be it for crowds or just his friends.

(both jay n nya lack a lot of emotional honesty which makes for fun disaster tbh. like either both of them r putting on acts and they both hate the other for it or it's oh my god the people putting on fronts are showing their true faces around each other like that brief bit of skybound in the lighthouse where they geniuenly reconcile and open up before [redacted] happens and i want to chew glass)

generally i think it's interesting how he's the brand of comedic relief perfectly aware that they're the comedic relief.

pre-s6 he's already self-conscious of his upbringing what with being poor n all (interalized classism mayhaps) and after s6 he's additionally self-conscious abt being abandoned cuz it feeds the thought that he can just not be good enough and that people can and have left him for it. again pointing at s12 finale how it eats jay up that he's never gonna know why he was abandoned and vry much doesn't want unagami to end up the same way

the whole you're adopted reveal brings what i think his greatest fear from the abstract to the real. he was already afraid of being left behind, and now he knows he already has been, so what's stopping it from happening again? ergo, do whatever you can to stay in everyone's good graces.

in short i do think it's a possible watsonian explanation for wildbrain era jay that he intentionally woobifies himself out of fear his friends will grow tired of him and ditch him. yeah.

jay's such a selfish character. i love this bastard.

[taem-min-archived]

5 Strikes to Love Me || d.sc

PAIRING || Sicheng x female reader

GENRES || Enemies to Lovers AU, College AU, Slowburn, Angst, Fluff, Frat AU.

SUMMARY ||  You had never met someone more infatuating than Dong Sicheng. Spilling coffee on you and taking your seats during classes were just a few things he did to make you hate him immensely. And you had a rule which you always followed when you made an enemy: they had five strikes to get back to your good book or to make you love them again. And Sicheng seemed very very much interested in getting every single of those five strikes.

Or, in which, after an heated encounter with Dong Sicheng, you find yourself in a roller coaster of emotions

WARNINGS || Slight Angst, Profanities

WC || 3.2k

A/N || This fic is for Hannah @svchengss​ I’m so so sorry this is soooo late I honestly had a whole ass different fic planned for you and half way through writing it (2k) I realised that I could never get that done as it just wasn’t feeling right. But I promise you one day when I finally publish that fic I’ll tag you! Also sorry if this fic is bad enemies to lovers or college au isn't really one of my strongest suits and I tried my level best! Also, this fic was inspired by @ireneissance​ ‘s Three Strikes! Do give it a read it’s wonderful!

EVENT || Part of the fic exchange event by @moonlight-additions​ and @cherryutas​ thank you for letting me take part in this wonderful event!!

TAGLIST || @moonsclover​ @queenmedi​ @shrutiajit @cerisetalks​  @nctisthecity​​ @woo-minhee02​​ @en-sun​​ @buttvi​​ @vllxchor​​ @stayinzencity​​ @joepomonerof​ @xavi-in-kpopland​  @midnightmoi​ @whatudoing​ @fifty-shades-of-mischeif​ @spacebyuns​ @imdamnconfused​ @ahtisa02​ @tyongsbbfish​​ @gu-nil​​ @cloudyhaos (If you want to be added to the story taglist, send me an ask!) (If you want to be added to my taglists, fill in this form)

╼ 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈

“Dong Sicheng.”

The cold voice rang out clear enough for the entire classroom to stop its mayhem and look at the duo, who earlier this week had caused a scandal big enough to spread throughout the college campus in a rapid fire.

The said boy looked up from his notebook, equally annoyed eyes meeting the voice of the owner as he frowned at her asking her to continue.

“You are sitting on my seat.” Y/N gritted, trying not to make a scene in front of the class like last time, when he had bumped into her in the cafeteria, spilling her coffee and then refusing to buy her a new one.

This wouldn’t have been so known in the college if either of them didn’t burst into a shouting competition, which ended with them having to be finally pulled apart by their friends.

“Really? I don’t see your name over here. Or do you, perhaps, own this seat?” He asked coolly, not even making attempts to move.

The class held its breath as the students now watched you turn visibly angry, your pretty brows crinkling in disbelief at his audacity.

“Do you,” she began slowly just to make sure he was well aware, “even know who I am?”

Now he raised his eyebrows. 

“Does it make a difference?”

She sucked in a breath, trying to keep her composure. She really didn’t want to lash out at him. No point wasting your time and beauty on someone so infuriating.

“Look here Sicheng. You have exactly five strikes to make me love you, so do NOT waste them I’m warning you.”

“Love me? Why the fuck do I want you to love me? And five strikes for what exactly?”

She ignored the first question, going for the second instead.

“Once I mark down an enemy, I give them exactly five strikes to get on to the better side of me. Because trust me, you do not want me as your enemy.”

It was true. No one definitely wanted her as their enemy. She was, after all, one of their professor’s daughter. One of the most strict professors. And the last thing they wanted was to cross him and get themselves into trouble.

But to her dismay, Sicheng just shrugged.

“Really. You aren't worth getting back into your good books.”

Even though his comment hit her like a blow, she covered the hurt on her face quickly. She opened her mouth to retort back but was interrupted immediately.

“Sicheng! Y/N! What’s this commotion I’m seeing!” Their attention snapped back to the professor who had walked in. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment as she realised she was the only one standing up whilst everyone else had sat down already. 

Embarrassed, she quickly sat down on the empty seat beside his.

“Meet me after class, the two of you.”

She glared at him and he glared back, before turning back to his notebook.

“Strike one.” You muttered under your breath.

╼ 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐈

“Fuck you.” She muttered, as she forcefully pulled out the weed from the soil, nearly uprooting the rose plant along with it.

“Careful. You definitely don’t want to be responsible for replanting those roses again.” Sicheng warned her, to which she just gave him a look of “I-know-what-I’m doing-mind-your-own-business”.

Sicheng and her had ended up being assigned to garden and tend the rose bushes in front of their college along with the gardener, who right now, had gone for a little break. This activity was supposed to be a ‘bonding time’ like the professor had instructed but Y/N really couldn’t see herself  and Sicheng bonding anytime soon.

“Well, it’s all your fault we are here.” She snapped.

“My fault? How was it my fault? If you hadn’t demanded that seat was yours and just sat down on the seat next to me-”

“I’ve been sitting there for the whole week!” She exclaimed, nearly falling down in her excitement.

He shrugged.

“Doesn’t make it yours honestly.”

She humphed, and went back to working wondering when it would be lunch time soon so that she could get a break from him.

“You are gonna hurt yourself like this.” She said all of a sudden, as she noticed the way he was cutting the branches of the rose. He too, like her, ignored her advice.

And no sooner had those words escaped her mouth, Sicheng let out a gasp as one of the thorns pushed into his skin.

He yanked the gloves out of his hand, and cursed lightly at the sight of the thorn stuck in his finger.

She tsked at him as he began to take it out, causing him to stop. He looked at her dryly and she beckoned him closer to her. Sicheng rolled his eyes but nonetheless edged closer to her.

Taking his hands in her now ungloved ones, she expertly pulled out the thorn from his finger. It was done so fast he didn't even have the time to reach.

Sicheng stared at his finger in amazement, as he watched a small trickle of blood come out.

"Come on." She said, throwing away the thorn and standing up. He looked up at her in confusion.

"Where to? We aren't done yet-"

"We need to apply antiseptic and a band aid on that." She pointed, already hopping out of the soil onto the hard pavement. Then looking at him she said again, " We don't want that to become infectious now, do we?"

Sicheng stared at her. All of a sudden, it was like she was a whole different person. Now that they weren't fighting like usual, he wondered why others called her "sweet", a value he was always sceptical about associating with her.

She waved at him.

"Earth to Sicheng? Are you okay? Or did you lose too much blood?" She snickered.

Her snide remark jolted him back to the present, and he rolled his eyes and quickly got up, following her inside.

The coolness of Y/N's room was a blessing against the sweltering heat they had to garden in.

Presently, Sicheng found himself sitting on the bed next to the girl he detested the most, as she took out the ointment and band aid.

 himself sitting on the bed of the girl he hated the most, right next to Y/N. His hand was on hers and all of a sudden the room seemed to feel hot.

Gently, she dabbed the ointment on his finger and it stung a little, causing him to wince.

She looked at him concerned and for a second Sicheng felt his heart stop. 

“Are you okay?” She asked softly. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out as he stared at her instead. The sunlight coming from the window beside her bed lit her up, accenting her features more. Her hair stuck on to her slightly sweaty forehead but somehow he found that it made her look more natural. …And more beautiful. Despite being sweaty, he could still get a whiff of her soap, and Sicheng felt his stomach flip a little.

He gulped, trying to remember her question. What was that she had asked? 

She raised an eyebrow at him and he felt his cheeks burn, as he looked away hastily clearing his throat.

“Uh, I-”

The door to her room opened with a bang, causing both of them to jump apart, not that they were doing anything inappropriate.

“Hey baby.” Jung Jaehyun strode into the room confidently, and Sicheng watched as Y/N’s face broke into one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. 

Confidently, Jaehyun leaned down and pecked her lips, and she let out a small giggle.

Suddenly Sicheng felt a sharp pain in his chest, and he frowned, wondering what even was this emotion.

“Hi, Jae! How did you know I’ll be in my room?” She asked, still smiling at him like a person madly in love. Which she probably was.

“I didn’t actually know you’d be there here. I, uh, came to get my jacket!” She didn’t seem to notice him stuttering but a small part of Sicheng was nagging as the scene he had seen a few days ago kept replaying in his mind. If she was his girlfriend then who was she?

“Ah yeah! You left it last night!” She said, reaching for something behind her bed and pulling out a leather jacket. She handed it over to him with a smile.

“Hey!” Jaehyun said, acknowledging Sicheng for the first time. Maybe it was his imagination, but he could surely see the panic in his eyes. Did he know that Sicheng had seen that?

“Hey man. How are you?” He asked, to which the other boy just shrugged.

“Good good. By the way, Johnny invited us over to his house tomorrow. Both of you too. So you better be ready okay?” Jaehyun said, waving them goodbye and zooming out of the room faster than he had come in. No sooner had the door closed in front of them, Sicheng whipped towards Y/N as she quietly put the band-aid on his finger, a small smile still lingering on her face.

“Jaehyun is your boyfriend?” He asked incredulously.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah and?”

He opened his mouth to tell her what he had seen but for some reason, he couldn’t get himself to tell her the truth. Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t want to see her heartbroken.

“He’s an asshole.”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could even comprehend what he was saying.

“Excuse me?” She screamed, pushing herself away from him.

“I said, he’s an asshole.”

“Oh is that so? You know who else is? You.” She spat, venom in her every word.

Sicheng felt his patience snap as he looked at her annoyed.

“Maybe I am. But he’s a bigger asshole. And honestly you would be the biggest one if you didn’t believe me.”

He felt himself fall from her bed onto the hard floor as Y/N pushed him off her bed, seething with rage. 

“Asshole.” She hissed. “Get out of here. I don’t even want to be anywhere near you.”

Sichneg got up nonchalantly, brushing himself up. He walked towards the door, and finally looked at her once more before leaving.

“Trust me, you’ll regret loving him.”

“Strike two!”

╼ 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

“Do you think this looks good on me?” She muttered, looking at herself in the mirror. She saw the girl beside her roll her eyes, clearly bored with her long choosing process.

“Goddammit Y/N! You look good in all! Just pick one!” Minjeong groaned, tired of the long shopping session they had. Their hands were overflowing with bags of clothes but Y/N still couldn’t seem to decide on the perfect clothes.

“Hmm but I want a perfect one for Jae!” She giggled. Her best friend sighed angrily, before walking up and throwing her original clothes at her.

“Wear these. Or I’m leaving you this instant.” 

Y/N frowned at her hurriedness, but nonetheless changed back to her clothes and stepped out of the dressing room.

She walked out of the dressing room and straight to the counter, where Minjeong was already billing for her clothes. Finally paying for her things and being handed her bags, she rounded around only to bump straight into someone.

Her bags fell from her hand and she let out a small oof.

“Oh it’s you again.”

The familiar voice caused her to look at the speaker, and she scowled at Sicheng. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked, irritated to see him.

He raised an eyebrow too.

“What, do you own the store too now?” He snockered.

“You shouldn’t step outside. There’s people outside who look like they want your head on a platter.”

“Aww, jealous?”

“Jealous of you?” She snickered. Sicheng rolled his eyes, before bending down to pick up her bags and handing them to her.

She looked at him in surprise as she took the bag from him, still unclear on why he helped her.

“We should stop fighting over petty stuff.” He leaned in and whispered, before walking away. She whipped around to stare at his reiterating figure, only for her thoughts to be broken by Minjeong’s laughter.

“Your cheeks are burning oooh!”

Y/N turned away embarrassed, before pulling her still laughing best friend out of the shop.

“That will be strike three Sicheng.”

╼ 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐕

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Sicheng asked, frowning at the girl sitting all alone in the corner of the room. The room was very poorly lit and he couldn’t see her face clearly, so he sat down beside her.

Y/N turned towards him sniffling, and he froze as he saw her tear stricken face.

“Y-Y/N? What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked her, trying to hide the worry in his voice. 

“Sicheng.” She whispered, in the most vulnerable voice and he felt himself automatically wrap his arms around her. She too leaned into his touch. “Sicheng I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” He asked.

She looked up at him and he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. What had happened?

“I-I’m sorry for c-calling you an asshole. You were right about Jae-” She broke down into tears once more, unable to complete her sentence. He pulled her into a crushing hug, as though it would stop her pain. “I’m sorry. I should have trusted you-”

“Hey hey hey. Shh. Calm down first okay?” he whispered, gently patting her back. "Of course you wouldn't trust me. It's not like we were on good terms."

"I should have listened to you." She mumbled into his t-shirt again, and he guessed that she was drunk.

He dearly wanted to let her go and find Jaehyun, and give him the lunch he deserved but a small part of him didn't want to let go of Y/N. It was as though if he let her go, she  might get hurt again.

"I'm sorry. I should have explained to you why. This is partly my fault too." He muttered into her hair, rocking her gently.

She looked up at him once more and Sicheng felt his heart stop. She looked so beautiful that he wanted to pause this moment just to stare at her forever.

"Why didn't you tell me then, though?" She asked.

He gulped, and decided to tell the truth.

"Because I didn't want to break your heart."

The yellow light was throwing a faint glow on her face as she stared at him with slightly parted lips. He felt his breath flatter as she leaned in slightly.

And before he knew, her lips were on his, kissing him gently. He felt her clutch the collar of his t-shirt tightly as he pulled her in closer with a quick jerk,  wanting to feel her touches more.

His head was spinning like crazy, and the more he tried to figure out what was going on, the more he found himself lost.

It was like the only thing in his mind was the feeling of her lips against his, the softness of her clothes under his fingertips…

Sicheng had kissed many girls before from his thousand different flings and girlfriends but kissing Y/N was somehow different. It felt more...natural. And it felt more true.

The kiss was over too soon in his opinion and the next thing he knew, he was staring at her swollen lips, the urge to kiss her again much stronger.

But she was drunk and he didn't want to do something that might cause her to regret later.

Slowly, she leaned in so that their lips were brushing against each other's.

"That's strike four. For not telling me."

He found himself laughing as he got up, pulling her with him.

"You'll be thanking me later. But now let's get you home." And he prayed that she got over Jaehyun as quickly as his heart was beating right now.

╼ 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐕

The door to the small cafe swung open, revealing a shivering man as he quickly stepped inside. Once he was inside the warm and comfortable coffee shop he stopped shivering, looking around for someone.

Sicheng's eyes finally landed on Y/N's, as she waved at him happily.

He walked over to her, taking a seat opposite to her.

"Hello." She said sheepishly. 

"Hello. How are you?" Sicheng asked, smirking at her shy attitude.

"Good good. How's your holiday going on?" She asked.

Y/N had asked him whether he wanted to meet up during the holidays in her favourite cafe, to which he immediately agreed. Even though he didn't want to look too eager, he didn't want to lose this opportunity to meet her too.

What he had never told her was during this small friendship which had bloomed between them,  he had fallen madly in love with her. His mind kept wandering back to that night when they had kissed, but she never mentioned it, nor did he bring it up assuming that she had forgotten it.

Nonetheless, he loved everything about her. Her stubbornness, her laughter, her beauty and her everything.

Even though he saw her everyday, it was like he was falling in love with her every time he saw her.

Even now, as he saw her smile at him, he felt his head go dizzy at her beauty.

"I hope you don't mind but I ordered my favourite cake for you!" She said, peering at him curiously.

"Nooo I don't want to try what you like!" He whined. Her face fell a little and Sicheng felt his heart break a little but he suppressed it for the laughter bubbling inside him. "That's alright. I'll get you something else-"

"I was joking." He grinned.

She opened her mouth and closed it, trying to process what he had just said. Then she glared at him, pouting at him.

They talked for a long time, eating their cakes and drinking their coffee after which they decided to go for a walk in the park.

Sicheng made sure to walk close to her, but he didn't have the courage to wrap his arm around her and pull her in closer.

“Oh look!” She said suddenly, pointing at the sky. He looked up to see tiny snowflakes fall from the sky, and he looked at Y/N again. He felt his heart explode to see her happy, as the snow fell in her head like a halo, making her look like an angel.

Her eyes flicked to his and she stared back at him, time frozen for both of them. 

Slowly, her eyes fluttered close and Sicheng saw her lean into him slowly. He felt something pull him towards her too, as he gently wrapped his arms around her waist.

But just before her lips touched his, he moved his face a little, a wicked smile on his face. Her lips met his cheeks and she drew back horrified, but then glared at him as she saw his smirk.

“Sicheng! Strike five!” He felt her push herself away from him.

“Just kidding!” He said hastily, quickly pressing his lips on her. He wasn’t going to waste his strikes. Not this time at least.

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[highdramas]

your lips, my lips | b.b.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: language, possible tfatws spoilers

word count: 2404

summary: is there a more divine thought than being kissed by bucky barnes?

note: here's another installment in the twalb story <3 again, you don't have to read these in order, they stand independently, but they do all work together! PLEASE leave feedback/reblog! this is extremely helpful for me writing future parts to know what everyone likes or doesn't like!

enjoy! <3

how do you know when james bucky barnes is going to kiss you?

you’ve learned that you’re not good at figuring out when, how, or if he is going to kiss you. there have been countless moments outside your door, inside your apartment, inside his apartment, down the street at the pizza place, where you thought… this is going to be it. he’s going to hold your face in his hands and you’re going to feel the cold sting of metal that has somehow become so warm to you. he’s going to pull you in closer to him and your eyes are going to roll back into your head and you’re going to experience the bliss that is kissing james bucky barnes.

the time has never come.

because every time you tip your head back slightly and think this is the moment, it has simply never been the moment. sometimes, bucky clears his throat and gives his head a little shake, as if ridding himself of the thought that you both just shared. the thought that you could kiss right now and never look back and hope for the best. but you know bucky, you really know him, and you know that though he may not admit it often, he is fearful. and if he’s anything like you, he’s afraid of ruining this good thing that sits between the two of you, like a glowing ball of energy and goodness and understanding.

despite your fears of never wanting this feeling to subside or fade or crash and burn in some fiery death, that doesn’t mean that every moment you’re around bucky, you’re not thinking of him kissing you. because you are. and it’s driving you slightly insane.

right now, you sit with bucky in central park. you have learned many things about him, but one of the more recent things is that he has never been on a picnic. you had gaped at him then, and you think you said something along the lines of-- “you were wooing women in the 40s and never took one on a fucking picnic?”

that’s another thing about you and bucky.

you may fear a lot, but you do not fear him.

there has never been a moment where you have pushed bucky to tell you more than he was comfortable with. at the start, once he knew that you were already well aware of who he was and some pieces of his history-- it felt like you both started with a mutual understanding. an understanding that says, i know, and it won’t make me run.

but he has told you what he wants to, in bits and pieces. the first time, it was about yori. it was about the look in yori’s eyes when he talked about his son to bucky, it was about how bucky doesn’t know how he can make amends here, how he can say or do anything to possibly help a man who has lost his son at the hands of a man who he has come to call friend.

you have watched as guilt and anger have made a mess of this beautiful man.

and what did you do in return?

sometimes, you didn’t speak. you didn’t think that was what bucky was looking for. you were simply there, with a listening ear and a careful touch.

other times, you did. other times, you couldn’t help yourself.

it was hard to sit and watch and listen to bucky torture himself over and over and over-- you would burst, you would take his metal hand in between yours and you would squeeze and you would say-- “you are not the things that they forced upon you.”

and bucky halted at that. bucky halted and he stared at you, eyes that were moments ago frantic and full of fright, trying to blink some of those feelings away. he would blink and he would try to slow his breathing and he would finally say to you, “how can you know what i’ve done and not walk away?”

“bucky, ever since i’ve known you, the only direction i’ve wanted to walk is towards you.”

he tells you the hard things.

but he also tells you the good things. the things before hydra.

like the dates he went on, the way his life looked in the forties.

so, naturally, when you found out about the lack of picnics in the life of the winter soldier-- you had taken it upon yourself to decide that a picnic was exactly what you two needed.

it was four months ago that bucky asked if you needed help building your cat tower. later, you would call him a creep for spying on you, but you would say it with a smile on your face and a light nudge to his ribs. and in four months it has been hard to stay away from him. that is, when he wasn’t away himself-- you know of his work with the falcon, and really, you think it’s a good thing. you met sam briefly a week ago, after they returned from god knows where, and sam had been nothing but a gentleman. out of the corner of your eye, you even think that you might’ve seen sam nudging bucky and murmuring something that you couldn’t quite make out.

so when he is here, you try and savor every moment, every laugh, every brush of his fingers against yours and every sweet look you two share.

and you hope that maybe one of these times, he will kiss you.

“damn-- this is good.”

the corner of your mouth turns up as you watch bucky sip on the sickly sweet wine you brought. there is a wide assortment of food before you-- strawberries and brie, crackers and cheese, plump purple grapes and chocolate that makes your mouth water. you had made sure to go all out for bucky’s first picnic.

“i didn’t know if you would like it,” you say, taking a sip from your own. “it’s like juice. so sweet.”

bucky furrows his brows. “you know i have a sweet tooth,” he mumbles and it makes your heart sigh because, yes, you do know this. you know him.

for a moment, you turn your focus on the scene in front of you. there are kids running around the park playing, couples laying in the grass, a dog owner throwing a frisbee to a black lab. everyone with their own little lives, their own quiet eternities that you will never know of. when you look at bucky, you wonder what these strangers wonder about you.

you stare and you are not embarrassed to do so, not even when bucky meets your gaze with a firm smirk. “can i help you?”

“no,” you shake your head defiantly. “just looking. is that allowed?”

“i guess,” he says and leans back on the palm of his gloved hand. “don’t know i’m much to look at.”

a snort leaves you. his brows furrow. “are you serious?” you finally ask.

“yes, i’m serious.”

“bucky, i don’t know how else to tell you this, but you are certainly not hard on the eyes.”

you watch as his face goes red and you have to halt yourself. “oh my god,” you say. “you’re blushing.”

“i am not. that’s ridiculous.”

“yes, you totally are! you’re blushing because i said you’re easy on the eyes!”

“it’s a natural bodily response.”

“sure, buck.”

there’s a beat of silence and you chuckle, if only to fill the air and to avert your eyes from his gaze. he’s staring at you with a slightly slacked jaw and a gleam in his eyes that you don’t think you’ve seen before-- and it feels like a bucket of ice water has been dumped atop your head. “you’ve never called me that before,” he says quietly.

“oh, yeah, well--” you chuckle again and you shrug. “i don’t have to--”

bucky shakes his head instantly. “no. i don’t mind.”

you smile at him and you look down at your empty cup and back up to him. “we should start heading back.”

the two of you make quick work of gathering together your picnic. you laugh as bucky takes a swig from the bottle and you swat at him, saying public intoxication is very illegal, to which he rolls his eyes. you take the last sip of the bottle and then you’re on your way back to your apartment building.

the earth is on the cusp of spring-- where the nights are finally starting to get long and the air smells crisp, smells like pollen and change. you lean against bucky as you walk and you let out a sigh. “i love spring,” you murmur to him. “the world always feels so new.”

bucky looks over at you and he nods his head. “it’s nice,” he says in quiet agreement.

that’s one thing that you like about bucky-- he doesn’t fill silence unnecessarily. you do. you’ve been trying to break the habit in the months you’ve known him, much to his amusement. he has called you out plenty of times. “i can tell you’re itching to talk. i don’t mind. i like listening to you.”

he’s carrying the majority of your things and you offer to take something off his hands at least three times in five blocks, and every time he screws his face up as he looks at you, as if to say-- funny.

he’s good at saying things without really saying anything at all. you don’t like to think too hard about how he picked up that skill.

bucky helps you into your apartment with your things, and he goes a step further and he helps you put away leftovers and wash the dirty dishes you two had created. “i know if i don’t help you now, they’ll be in your sink until i come over again.”

so you stand side by side, he washes and you dry and put away. you play the bee gees and you’re surprised by how much bucky enjoys it. you’ve been traveling through decades of music with bucky, and now, you’re on seventies. bee gees, fleetwood mac, blondie, abba-- you’ve curated a perfect playlist for him. when you come home from work and hear him listening to it through the thin walls of this old apartment building, you try to ignore the way that your heart swells.

and just as fast as you got swept up in your day with james buchanan barnes, it is coming to an end. you walk him to your doorstep and you lean your head against the doorframe as he stands in it, lingering still, staring at you. “can i help you?” you mimic him from earlier.

bucky laughs.

you love that laugh. you want to earn it again and again and again.

“just looking,” he says in a voice that you have a suspicion is an impression of yours. your jaw drops, and he laughs again, and you don’t know if your heart could swell anymore.

your laughter mingles with his, like a waltz floating through the air until it dissipates above your heads. all that’s left is you and him and the dim light of the hallway and the god awful carpet. “well…” he motions behind him. “i should…”

“yeah.” you bite down on your lip and push back off the doorframe. “night, buck.”

“night, doll.”

your breath hitches and you put on your best smile and you watch as he begins to step down the hall, and finally, you click your door shut.

it’s like pure energy courses through your body. you place your hands on your hips and you pace, looking down at kitty who has emerged from your bedroom. she meows up at you, and you sigh. “oh, honey,” you murmur as you bend down to scoop her into your arms. “why won’t he kiss me?”

you stand there for a few moments before you begin to grow frustrated with yourself. why do you have to wait for him to kiss you? you know that the lines have been blurred long ago, that there is simply no way that he can look at you like that and not want to kiss you too. setting kitty down, you wipe your hands on your jeans and you decide that you are going to be bold, you are going to be brave. and if it blows up in your face… well, you’ve always been somewhat impulsive. you’ve found your way through things blowing up in your face countless times.

you swing your door open and bucky is already there.

with all of your momentum, you almost collide into him. he catches you by the elbows and looks at you, pupils slightly blown, concern on his pretty face. “were you going somewhere?”

“no!” you stammer out immediately. “no… no. i was--” you sigh and you lick your lips and you finally fix your eyes on him. “i kind of-- i kind of thought that you were going to kiss me, back there. and i was disappointed that you didn’t because… well, i don’t think i’m reading into things, but i really think that we might be on the same page about--”

bucky will never know how you were going to finish that sentence, and frankly, with all the frantic nonsense you were spewing, you don’t know if you even knew to begin with-- because he takes your face in his hands and his lips brush yours.

he’s rid the gloves. that’s the first thing you notice, that delicious cold of smooth metal again your cheek. the next is that his lips are so soft. the third is that you could kiss him forever and you think you could never grow tired of it. he is gentle yet demanding, passionate but so incredibly tender that it breaks your heart. it breaks your heart over and over again thinking about the way he thinks about himself, the things that were forced upon him.

you part. a string of spit connects your lips and it makes you laugh and it makes your cheeks grow warm. bucky reaches out with the hand made of metal and wipes your bottom lip and it makes your heart thump, thump, thump in your chest.

“we’re definitely on the same page,” is all he says before he takes your face once more. this time, you shuffle backwards and into your apartment, the door clicking shut. "there's just a dance to these things, doll."