#[ almost as bad as ben/paxton ]

[heycoyotegirl]

love how the message of season 4 was that you have to have extremely good grades and have gone to parties to be able to successfully adjust to university

[thefabulousfab-3]

Reflections on NHIE now that we've (almost) survived a whole summer without a new season?

Okay here is my “I haven’t rewatched it for a bit” rapid fire list:

Season 1 was the best season with season 3 coming in close second

Trent and Eleanor was the best unexpected decision the writers made.

Fabiola and Aneesa should have been endgame.

The whole Margot & Ethan plot lines in season 4 were pointless and stupid and never ever should have happened.

I need to sue mindy for never having Ben and Devi dance together. Like it’s a crime.

Season 4 could have been so great if mindy knew how to write a consistent love interest/ love story.

Ben was actually done really dirty in season 4 and i honestly don’t know him. Like who is that guy????

Devi should have been allowed to have wt least one freak out moment in season 4.

Devi and Ben should have chosen to go to a different school than the ones they were planning on and they should have chosen to go to the same one 🫡.

Fabiola was also done kind of dirty in regards to her love story. Like everyone else gets a fleshed out love interest and she gets “random person number 3”.

Sticking Nalini with Margot’s dad was a choice that felt like a fanfic premise in a bad way.

I maintain that Ben and Devi should have dated in season 4.

We should have gotten little Ben and Devi flashbacks

No offense to Paxton but he shouldn’t have gotten a solo episode and lowkey probably shouldn’t have even been a part of season four besides like a camo 😶🤫.

[awesomechocolatesauce]

I completely understand why people are mad at Ben for the first half of season four. Ghosting Devi, dating Margot almost immediately after, and then icing Devi out. All in all, not very good decisions.

BUT I'M GIVING HIM A PASS!

Why? Not only because from his perspective, he's afraid of Devi hurting him again, but narratively speaking, it was his turn to make bad decisions.

Remember when Devi cheated on Ben with Paxton and vice versa? Yeah, that was a bad decision, too.

It's only fair that Ben has his round of doing some fuck shit.

[rosstrytobe]

This season just showed how Ben and Davi are good to be together and loved each other from the first episode:

1)They thought about the other after they had sex because they thought they were bad and the other dind’t like it. This is really good because they were not thinking about themself or to just have a one night stand. Devi dream was about just have sex with Paxton and it was just a selfish dream. She didn’t think about what to do next. While with Ben, they both really cared about each other pleasure and likes. They didn’t communicating it faster but it’s fine. It was their both first time doing sex. it’s normal to panicking 

2) Devi really helping Ben to being himself and got him to go to Columbian instead of Margot who just ruin his shirt with her paint and juge him for his speech who wasn’t a good thing to do. Like Ben helped Devi getting to Princeton talking with her and make her feel like his thoughts and feels matters. And give her the courage to write the essay in the end. Instead of Ethan who just praise her and almost sabotage her way to get in Princeton in a right way. This just shows that Ben was wrong because Devi is the right girl for him like Ben is for Devi

3)They just helped each others and being there when the others need to (They did it from the start of the show)

 4)They can’t be without the other. Even when Ben told her they couldn’t talk. It didn’t stop them to being friends again becuase even when they were enemies they couldn’t be without talking to the other and just being around to the other

And i could go on and on but this a most important reasons i know they love eahc other and i’m happy how things had turned

[number1spongebobfan]

T&F Diesel Headcanons

Diesel

He is devious!

He is in a rivalry with Duck and Thomas.

He smokes cigarettes. He's a baaaad boy (note that I don't support smoking, it's really bad for you guys).

He bosses Paxton and Sidney around, since they don't know any better.

He has Doberman Pinscher ears and tail in his animal form.

He's emo. He dresses in all black and listens to grunge.

He is miserable and self-loathing.

He drinks from soda cans filled with oil. He is often covered in diesel stains.

He does boxing. You do not want to see him and Thomas get physical. Different fighting styles, yeeesh!

Mavis!

She's a scene girl.

She listens to My Chemical Romance.

She has a passionate interest in rocks. She knows what kind are sedimentary, igneous, and metamorphic.

She and Toby are good friends. Toby likes her cowcatcher skirt. Mavis likes his cowcatcher shorts!

Percy has a huge crush on her but she's oblivious.

She has Maine Coon cat ears and a fluffy Maine Coon tail in her animal form.

She hangs out with Diesel from time to time but doesn't tolerate his prejudice against steamies. A lot of her friends run on steam.

Her patron saint is Mother Mary Lange. She founded the first African American religious congregation.

Salty

He's the pirate train! Yo-ho-ho!

He sings sea shanties. Donald the Scottish twin sings along with him.

He's the Mr. Krabs of Sodor. He's attracted to shiny objects and can be very greedy.

He is attached to the sea. Sometimes he'll drink the sea water then his face looks like this 416c175b6a82f64209c441768857c61a.jpg (640×960) (pinimg.com)

He purposefully annoys Cranky with his really long sea stories.

He's a Japanese Spider Crab with wheels on his six legs in his animal form.

His patron saint is Saint Nicholas aka Santa Claus.

Boco!

He is a Metropolitan Vickers Diesel highly respected by the railfanning community.

He is a grandfatherly figure to Bill and Ben. He is able to withstand their tricks with firm but gentle discipline.

He and Edward are friends.

He dresses in military fashion.

He is best friends with Bear, the friendly diesel bear with wheels on his legs. He understands how he feels.

He is a bear with wheels on his legs in his animal form.

Bill and Ben tease him by calling him, "Boco Coco"!

He's kind of like Alex the Lion from Madagascar? Because he's so respected he got a bit of an ego, but he's a good guy regardless.

He had a crush on Ashima when she visited Sodor for the great race.

Diesel 10

He's not a nice guy.

He crushes steam engines with his claw.

He killed Lady, however she came back to life.

He almost killed Thomas. He ripped his arm off during the chase scene, but thankfully they put it back together again.

PT Boomer is his driver. He's a stick figure w/ a motorcycle helmet who carries dynamite.

Sir Topham Hatt doesn't kick him off the island due to finances.

He's a bull with train wheels in his animal form.

He's comedically villainous but when he's angry, you're screwed.

He treats Splatter and Dodge like punching bags, no wonder why they left him.

Daisy

She used to be very rude and sour when she first came to Sodor. Now she has a change of heart.

She's a dairy cow with train wheels on her legs in her animal form.

She's very girly and fashionable.

She and Lady have DIY spa days together. They get massages, mani-pedis, facials . . . they're girls okay! XD

Diesel thinks she's really annoying.

She uses strawberry flavored lipstick and high-volume shampoo for the extra bounce in her hair.

Her patron saint is Saint Elizabeth of Hungary.

She has back pain. She's highly sprung.

She dresses in flapper fashion and carries a feather boa around her neck.

[catty-words]

Same anon! And you’re right I think canon explore Ben and Devi as mirrors in s1 and since they got a “romantic turn” (in my opinion the dynamic was completely compatible w romance already) they tried to idk change Ben and Devi dynamic making them acting ooc sometimes like for example when in Paxtons episode in s2 Ben narrator interrupted Gigi, I was like this is it, this is a good moment to show that even when they’re in bad terms Ben is always kind of paying attention to Devi (like when Devi saw Anessa flirting w Ben and Paxton noticed and I was thriving w the 3 of them being aware of each other) but them they totally forgot it and make Ben and Devi act so so different even if Devi was guilty I can’t accept a universe where Devi just DECIDE TO TAKE BENS SHITTY BEHAVIOR?! We are talking about another girl! (Maybe that’s why I loved your fanfic where she entered the tent during the rally THATS DEVI) this is so long again but yes YOU MAKE JUSTICE FOR BEN AND DEVI THAT WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE THE CLICHE DRAMATIC COUPLE!

you did it! you boiled down my issues with season two (and swaths of canon beyond) - that they tried to morph the dynamic to milk it for traditional romance angst like miscommunication and The One That Got Away energy. both of which are ANTITHETICAL to the thematic richness inherent in their set-up!!!

like, okay, it's realistic to write teenagers as self-absorbed and too preoccupied with their own narrative to see the complex inner world of others, but that's devi and paxton's story, not devi and ben's!! devi and ben are specifically the counterweight, accountability to the point of violence. seeing exactly who you are reflected back to you in someone else's perception and wanting to DESTROY. miscommunication should never come up as a legitimate obstacle for devi and ben because understanding the other comes as naturally as understanding themselves.

and because they're painfully recognizable to each other, they can't be a romantic ideal. they've been rooting around in each other's guts for too long, narrowing in on weakness, to ever be an unattainable object! they are wrestling in the muck of identity!! it's slippery but they grasp at each other anyway and their claws catch!!!! i'll never forgive the writers for messing this up!!!!!!!

because when they position ben as a romantic objective for devi, they obscure him from her. she can't be certain he forgives her. she can't be certain he likes her back. they become delicate and precious with one another and it's WRONG. fundamentally incompatible with their backstory.

anyway, thanks for prompting me to re-read the 2.05 fic. it is beautifully violent in all the ways that obviously get to me re: this pairing. almost like i wrote it to my own satisfaction or something.

[flergblerg]

Honestly I was never team Ben with Devi because they both have a lot of growing up to do and then together is just kind of bad schema chemistry.

Ben is the type of guy who simultaneously has a superiority AND inferiority complex because he’s good at school but that’s all he thinks he has (along with his parents wealth) and he thinks that girls don’t like him because there’s hotter guys around and they just don’t like “nerds” but in reality it’s because he acts like an asshole to them as a front bc they can’t deal with their emotions. But you are meant to feel bad for him simply because he’s not that good at socializing with his peers and the girl he likes got with the conventionally hot popular guy, but in reality that guy was genuinely way nicer than him.

Ben strikes me as the same type of guy who thinks that they will get “success revenge” over everyone they knew in high school that ignored them over not being popular or seen as hot, but in reality if they just let themselves get over their one sided bitterness of their almost own self-imposed loneliness, they might have made some genuine friends.

Ben is genuinely nice and sweet at his core, but he really got the wrong idea of the real reason on why he doesn’t have a ton of friends at school

To be totally real with you, he has all the makings of a guy who should be super popular in school with his wealthy dad, nice house, top grades and conventional “popular guy” makings, but he just seems bitter that he has what seems like everything but he is still lonely because of the way he was so tunnel-visioned about school which is not a bad thing but also the idea that he just unfortunately doesn’t fit in with his peers.

Plus the writers CLEARLY forced a character assassination onto Paxton in order to make Ben the more desirable (and now the only) viable option

[missflurry]

Leading up to the final season of Never Have I Ever I will share my thoughts before I’ve seen season 4 <3

First of all, I am definitely team Devi, but in my fangirl heart I’m also really Team Benvi 😭♥️ With the “you were my dream” scene to Paxton it for me just wraps up what Paxton was to Devi: a dream image, that helped her, but is not real relationship material.

Ben and Devi’s banter is so freaking amazing. The actors have such amazing chemistry. If Devi is going to end up with someone, it’s Ben. He had supported her through everything. I do want for Devi to have a moment to maybe say sorry again for what happened, to have a real heartfelt moment to show him that she respects him, but was just scared for love and intimacy.

It would be nice for Ben to have a moment of true appreciation. I love his character and I want to see a lot of him! Also him standing up for himself, owning himself, and just some happy moments, because the Ben episodes have been my favourite but also pretty sad.

I am a bit scared though that we might not see a lot of Ben(vi), because of what we saw in the trailer. I wish I hadn’t seen the trailer. It doesn’t make me really happy, more anxious why they have to invite ANOTHER boy into it. Just give me some Benvi cuteness, PLEASE. I’m also afraid that the ‘boink scene’ payoff isn’t gonna be that grand, even tho it all left us breathless at the end of last season. I don’t mean we are gonna see a sex scene, nope nope nope, I mean that I hoped for some in depth emotional talk about it. Welp, seems like that’s gonna be drawn out ;)

I am happy well see Paxton too and I hope he’ll get a lovely storyline, exploring even more of his growth, but I also hope he won’t be a love interest for Devi anymore. I would love to see a real friendship between them!

I have the feeling that it’s gonna end in a ‘team Devi’ way, her not being in a relationship and focusing on her personal goals. I do however hope the ending will be leaning towards Ben. They have such a beautiful bound so I hope they will kind of leave it open, with a wink to their attraction to another. Or even an ‘where will they end up’ scene.

I want the PSYCHOLOGIST to be there almost every episode because I LOVE that this is a series where the psychologist is actually pretty capable. Gosh there are a lot of bad stereotypical psychologists in series. I hope for a lot more beautiful quotes from her. I feel like the teens watching need to hear ‘em.

I also love Nalini and Kamala and their growth so love to see that. I’m sorry but I’m not such a fan of Eleonore and Fabiola. I did like their storylines more last season though! So I hope they keep that up. Can we have a realistic and interesting lesbian/bi story please? Maybe with Aneesa? A good bi story? Please?

Trent is a cutie and a good actor for his age. Not my most fav character but I always like his scenes so I’m excited to see him!

I love the cast so much. I’m already watching interviews and Jaren, Maitreyi and Darren are so amazing!! I’m gonna miss them! I hope to see them in other stuff!

[becky5203]

I think the whole cast did a great job this season and have been doing a great job throughout the whole show, but there were two standouts in particular to me: Benjamin Norris as Trent Harrison, and Jaren Lewison as Ben Gross.

I’ll admit, Trent has always made me chuckle, sometimes he’s annoyed me just as much as the characters in the show have been by him (see season 2’s “mountain dew” comment, which made me want to vomit), but overall I thought he was usually a nice bit of comic relief. But I think I did want more from him. I wanted him to evolve past just being “Paxton’s sidekick”. With characters like his though, they usually either get flanderised, lose what them appealing in the first place, or disappear altogether. I’m thankful he didn’t get any of that. Instead, he was given a rather sweet arc that didn’t upstage anyone in the cast, but still made him shine in his own right. And that’s not even mentioning his relationship with Eleanor, which, if I’m being honest, was probably my favorite subplot of the season. I’ll admit that when they were paired up at the end of season 2, I was worried this would become a boring “pair the spares” situation that felt forced and like a waste of time, but Ramona and Benjamin brought a lot of chemistry to this relationship and, surprisingly, I found myself rooting for these two.

Now though, I want to talk about Ben. I want to talk about Jaren’s performance. I think it’s safe to say that Ben was a bit sidelined this season. At least in the first half. Until episode 5, maybe 4, I don’t think I could say he was very present in the show, at least not in the same way he was in the first two seasons. During the first three episodes, we didn’t see a lot of him, and when we did, he was playing a supporting role in Aneesa’s storyline. We got some breadcrumbs of what was to come, sure, but nothing substantial, and nothing that was just Ben’s storyline. Episodes 4 and 5 gave us a better look into his life, but I felt it was still build up to when we were gonna see his story more in-depth, we weren’t there yet. Episode 6, though, that was the big one. This is the first time all season we’ve gotten a look into his life without it being anchored in a supporting role for another character. What’s important about everything before this moment, is that it’s passively shown, which is where Jaren comes in. Episode 6, cannot stick the landing without all of the slow buildup we’ve had before. After getting dumped by Aneesa, Ben doesn’t have a lot of support, so we don’t see into his world like we would Devi or Paxton’s, by him talking to other people, getting his own narration, or people talking about him. We get it through quick camera cutaways or small interactions, and all of this is carried by Jaren’s performance. We have to see the way all this pressure is slowly building up around him, the way he’s pining after Devi but still trying to let go, but we’re not gonna know how bad it really is until episode 6. After this, things may seem like they slow down for Ben, but they don’t. It’s once again passively shown, albeit less passively than the front half of the season, but we can still see that he’s on the upswing for the latter half of the season. That’s what makes the finale so satisfying, not just for Devi, but for Ben as well. With Devi we got to see her whole story unfold, but Ben had to take a step away. He had spent the prior season and a half almost latched onto Devi in some way, subconsciously in-universe, but also out of universe in terms of the narrative. After he tried to kiss Devi at his birthday party in 1x08, he was explicitly cemented in the story as her love interest. That’s great for us Benvi shippers but he wasn’t able to stand on his own again until this season. Because he knew he had to let go of whatever could’ve been with Devi. He couldn’t keep being apart of her story. He had to work on his own. And that’s why we didn’t see a lot of it. But that’s also why the Ben who clearly needed to slow down but sped up instead is not the same Ben we see at the end of the season. That’s why the Ben who clearly needed support but wasn’t reaching out to anyone is not the same Ben we see at the end of the season. That is why Ben is not the same person at the end of the season as he was at the start. He’s gone through his strongest character arc yet, but the real marvel is we didn’t even get to see all of it and it’s still one of the most captivating storylines of the season. And it’s because Jaren was able to show us that slow build in the little time he had in the first few episodes and then throughout.

[the-paris-of-people]

I've seen some (not a lot of people but it was enough for me to get annoyed) react like Devi owes Paxton her virginity. They don't necessarily say it that way but the anger that it wasn't him is the subtext I'm getting. I'm a benvi shipper but I thought it will be Paxton for a long time too but at the end of the day shouldn't people be happy for Devi that she got some when she was good and ready not because it was what she thought is expected of her (this was her thinking in almost every close call with P imo). Would love to hear your thoughts. (Also idc if they break them up for dumb reasons next season but I know a section of the fandom will be insufferable if they make Ben "bad at sex" so all I'm asking for from Mindy and Co is anything but that 😩)

Honestly from what I see from the Daxton shippers, they don't see Devi as a person in her own right, nor her journey, they see her as a self-insert to fulfill their own romantic and sexual desires. Something Maitreyi said is she was happy with the season 3 finale because Devi actually had agency in her life for once. She realized her dream had changed and was open and willing to her life changing, and once she reflected on what she wanted out of this new life of hers, she realized Ben was a part of her dream. Ultimately the finale was a triumph because it was DEVI deciding she wanted Ben, which shows tremendous character development and growth from when we first met her. However, I don't expect most Daxtons to understand this since again, they don't care about what Devi thinks or wants, they ultimately just want steamy scenes with Paxton. I love Ben and Devi, but if her losing her virginity to Ben or being in a relationship with him was out of anything but her genuine desire, or driven by a need to be in a relationship, I would not be happy at all because ultimately the show is about Devi's self-actualization and I watch it FOR THAT, not for some high school fantasy wish fulfillment.

[seeyoumondaydevi]

Can we all just cut Paxton AND Ben some slack? Yeah they both were mean as hell to Devi but she literally cheated on them? The whole situation came to light in the worst way possible-

They BOTH were hurt. They took it out.

Especially stop trying to make Paxton a jerk for how he was with Devi after she cheated on him and he almost got killed-

Yes he treated Devi bad, because she cheated on him.. but he developed sm later?

[heycoyotegirl]

@fishyyyyy99 No need to apologize! I love people replying to my posts

I haven't spent much time on reddit, but from what I've seen, there seems to be one subreddit populated by Daxton shippers, where if you say anything positive about Ben, someone will come out of the woodwork to call him an abuser, and then one that's full of Ben stans who immediately downvote any positive comment about Paxton/Daxton. So if you were posting in the anti Paxton subreddit, not surprising that you didn't get much discussion on there.

I genuinely don't understand the impulse some people have in shipwars to criticize an actor's abilities or ignore canon to pretend that the relationship never had real emotional weight. Benvi isn't my favorite, but I wouldn't go around saying that Jaren Lewison is a bad actor or that Ben and Devi don't have genuine feelings for each other. Like, not only is it obnoxious, but it also makes it seem like you don't have any basis for your ship preference other than irrationally hating the other option. And isn't part of the appeal of a (well-written) love triangle the fact that both romantic interests are viable options with pros and cons? Otherwise, there's no choice for the protagonist to make.

I've honestly been curious how many Benvi shippers are happy about the ending just because their guy "won" vs actually enjoying the final season and how Benvi came about. Like, they completely wrote Daxton off as a possibility, so there wasn't really any choice for Devi to make. (And, really, she didn't make a choice. She dated Ethan and then was single for almost the entire season until Ben showed up again at the wedding. She didn't really have agency in her romantic life after ending things with Ethan; she just passively waited around for Ben to get his act together.)

And even platonically, Paxton and Devi's relationship was a huge focus on the show. So the fact that they cut it down to nearly nothing (despite the two of them physically being in the same building) removed a lot of the emotional depth of the show and made this season feel very surface-level.

Yeah, there was definitely flirting, but it honestly could've just been friend-flirting, since there wasn't more intentionally-written pining to back it up. And I personally read his interactions with Lindsay as more of a new-friend-crush than anything (and found her interest in him hard to believe), but ymmv obviously.

Also, since I'm always curious about this: What makes you prefer Benvi over Daxton?

the writers should've just committed to the one-sided pining daxton, but they're cowards who refused to accept that it's fundamentally impossible to write a version of paxton who is not in love with devi

[thefabulousfab-3]

After watching the series in its entirety, I used to think that Ben loved Devi loved that she loved him (just a little bit which I endorse for reparations) but now I realize she loved him the whole time and just thought it wasn't a possibility. For all of s2 and s4 she wanted to be be with him and only him, and with s3 they were basically flirting the entire season and devi just didn't entertain him as a possibility because she didn't know how he felt. Once he made that known, she immediately went for it.

RIGHT!!! Like I’m going to be bold here and say that ever since the kiss at the end of season 1. Devi was down BAD for Ben. Like she went absolutely feral over him not talking to her in season 2. She literally never expressed that type of jealousy toward anyone else. I know she liked Paxton but she loved Ben.

She dated Paxton because Ben was dating Aneesa then she dated Des because she thought Ben just saw her as a friend.

After the hallway scene she was ready to risk it all and spent the entirety of season 4 OBVIOUSLY in love with Ben. Her dating Ethan was purely to make herself feel better. Like when he started texting her dumb little memes and stuff. She was so freaking excited to the point she almost forgot about her college troubles. And when she got in he was the one she wanted to tell first!!!!

In that little hallway scene I could tell she wanted to ask him to stay but she felt like she couldn’t. I think at that point she was waiting for him to do something, WANTING him to do anything.

When he came to the wedding, her world stopped. Like she literally tuned out everything else to focus on him. Then the absolute almost disbelief when he told her he “thinks he loves her” to the relief of him telling her “that he does love her”.

Her soft safe face while riding the scooter to his house was absolutely precious. Like she was so so freaking happy to finally FINALLY know that he loves her like she loves him.

We talk a lot about how Ben loves Devi but Devi LOVES Ben. She really showed that this season especially even when he didn’t really deserve it.

I know I have my complaints about this season but I am truly so happy it gave us them together and in love. It makes me ridiculously happy everytime I think about it.

[kingdicemrwheezyflowertor]

I'm curious now of what the changes, I wanna hear about it :)

Well I will go down the Line here for this Sodor Fallout AU; This will be Lon so bare with me:

Thomas: Face has mutated to how you see it in the world but he can barely talk; It goes to a point where he would lose his voice.

Edward: Has bad Anxiety; Trauma and anger. He barely takes care of himself due to all that has happened and Practically works himself to almost death just to make a cure.

Henry: Has become a sorta caretaker for Edward and Tries to help him take better care of himself. Has some bad meltdowns sometimes and tries to be strong.

Gordon: After he was Rescued from being a Forever Run away until he crashes or something like that; He is now staying with Thomas and the others that Edward and Henry managed to save.

James: He grew scared over his extra mouths especially when they start to insult the others and Making him feel self doubt. Luckily the Extra mouths are Sewn shut and Covered up. He mostly stays with Gordon and Thomas.

Percy: Surprisingly; He doesn’t die after Edward and Henry left with Annie; Clarabelle and Scruffy; He was Actually brought along. He is trying to cling to life in the Infirmary part of the Base and is doing a remarkable job.

Toby: Now yes; I know in the Story; He died via ending his life (Stupid Fireface). But in my AU; Toby managed to live; Fireface did not live though as the Crane’s Hook snagged him and Ripped him off. Toby was Surprised that his Attempt to off himself failed but was relieved that FireFace was gone. So he tries to help out after he was healed.

Duck: He did die in the Story; Yes yes; BUT in my AU; He somehow managed to cling to life and be able to move. When Edward found him; He didn’t know how to explain himself being alive after what Oliver did.

Arry and Bert: Died as well but they are the same as Duck but because of the damage they had; The boys now act like Dogs protecting their owners or their own kids. In this case they protect Duck.

Bill and Ben: Due to the Damage they had received; The two sadly resorted to acting like Puppies; Utterly breaking BoCo and Edward’s hearts. BoCo swore to be there for them and Teach them to be better boys and Arry and Bert are also the twin’s caretakers while BoCo is helping Edward and Henry.

BoCo: He is suffering from emotional damage when he saw his twin boys acting like Pups and he felt like he failed to keep them safe or at least come back in time to protect them from Boomers people.

Oliver: He is the Beast and he is forever hungry. He somehow; later on down the line gets caught by Edward and Henry thanks to Toad. Oliver is being tamed so he can help Edward and the others defeat Boomer.

Topham: This man… THIS. MAN!! He is at this point an Emotional; Mental and Physical wreck. He witnessed Thomas’ mutated face at Tidmouth; Witness Toby attempt to Off himself just to stop Fireface and He couldn’t stop him in time; He saw his kids are mentally; Physically and Emotionally destroyed and he is out for Blood now. He wants to get to boomer and Take him down; Maybe even get him to make a cure himself.

Skarloey and Trevor: They sadly do die just like in the Story but in the Au; Once a Cure was made and Some of it spread into the outside; It travelled through the air (Like a Gas) to the Two and they somehow came back to life despite the Mercy kill bullet wounds to the head. Edward and Henry can’t even explain it to themselves or others.

Diesel 10: I did end up finding out how he died in Sodor Fallout and I was not happy with it. So in this AU; I changed it up. I made both him and Paxton be on the Mainland because they needed repairs out there that sadly weren’t on Sodor. They got to Sodor after getting past Boomer’s minions and raced to find other survivors until they found Henry and were taken to base.

This is who I have so far and let me tell you; There is so much more but with Sodor Fallout being cancelled and TidmouthThunderbolt came out on Twitter the unedited ending of it; I don’t want to really focus on that while it is good; I don’t wanna put the babies through more trauma and Hell then they already did

[catty-words]

I'm sorry! I'm a bad person and I know! I desperately want you to write the fic/one shot of Ben being partnered up with Shira for a project and Devi not having any of it!! I need more of this...“You were there?” Shira asks, the question sounding almost like a threat.“As Paxton’s date,” Devi says back, unambiguously threatening. UNAMBIGUOUSLY THREATENING!!! I need it!! But I'm sorry, you've given us so much already! I'm just a greedy bitch!

it's a gift to be inspired, okay!! you're not a bitch, and your greediness feels fun so long as you're here acknowledging that it'd be inappropriate to outright demand! i love that shira & devi exchange!!! oh fuck!!!!!

[a-lockman5]

Things were different now Pt. 3 - Happy to Help {Devi and Paxton}

A/n: as usual, I don’t own these characters, but I love them. This continues to follow the timeline I initially wrote so it does not coincide with season 2 at all. Paxton is a 17 year old with feelings, not a 10 year old before puberty… I hate proofreading so if it’s awful, apologies. Umm… so sorry it’s a year late.. and honestly, I kinda hate parts of it, but here we are nonetheless. Hope you like it!

Warnings: fluff, angst, phobias, I think that’s it.

Part one, Part two

Don’t forget to check out my Masterlist!

“Hey, baby,” Ben greeted her in a sing-song voice.

“Morning, Ben,” Devi replied as Ben laid a kiss to her cheek, and took the seat next to her.

“Why didn’t you come by for breakfast this morning?” he asked.

Devi felt her eyes grow wide momentarily. She had been going to Ben’s for breakfast before school all last week, telling her mom they were studying. It wasn’t a formal date though, and she hadn’t thought to plan an excuse. “Uh…” she scrambled, feeling the room close in as people filled the desks behind and on her other side. “I’m not feeling well,” she lied. “I overslept.”

She averted her gaze from Ben to dig a pencil out of her backpack from where it sat on the floor to her right. When she tried to unzip her pencil holder though, it got stuck and she flung it, one-handed, onto the floor. As she reached down to grab it, the person sitting next to her reached down to help too, and when she looked up, Paxton was grinning back at her.

“Morning, Vishwakumar. Long time, no see.”

Devi tried to swallow past a large lump in her throat. “Morning, Paxton,” she returned hesitantly, noting his hair was still damp and that it added curl to his hair that usually he used product to tame.

Devi had her first swim lesson with Paxton that morning before school. It’s not that she was hiding it from Ben, her boyfriend. It was just that she didn’t feel ready to tell him about it… so yeah, she was hiding it from him. Not because of Paxton though! She was hiding it because of her.

Not even Devi’s mom knew how afraid she was of being in the water since her paralysis was triggered. Prior to that, she loved swimming. It was the only sport she was at all inclined to and she even considered trying out for team sophomore year until she went crazy and lost her legs.

She tried to move past it. Well, kind of. Her physical therapist thought aquatic therapy may help strengthen and facilitate the functional return of her legs. Instead, it resulted in her screaming and hyperventilating in Dan’s arms as he struggled to get her back to the lift out of the pool. Devi begged Dan not to tell her mom about her newfound fear and promised she would discuss it with Dr. Ryan. Her physical therapist agreed, and Devi never mentioned it to anyone again. Until Paxton.

“You want to swim?” He repeated back, puzzled as they sat on the couch in the garage. “I’ve seen you swim.”

“When?”

“Your freshman year…” he trailed off as realization dawned on him.

Devi didn’t know Paxton had any idea who she was until she propositioned him at the beginning of school this year. He remembered her from the year before? He remembered her before she lost her legs?

“Yeah… I haven’t been able to since…”

“So when you fell in the pool at Gross’s party…?” Paxton filled the silence for her.

“I’m really glad you pulled me out otherwise it would have gotten way more embarrassing,” she admitted.

She saw his jaw clench before his next question, “Why didn’t your friends help you?”

“Um…” she took a deep breath to muster the courage up to tell him, “they don’t know… nobody knows.”

And then he gave her that same deep, calculated look. The look he gave her when they were in his car so many weeks ago. The look he gave her before they kissed. Before he kissed her.

He agreed instantly after that. And things went mildly well that morning. She wasn’t able to get in the water, so instead, she sat next to the edge of the pool and watched Paxton swim for awhile and then they talked.

She was surprised by how patient Paxton had been with her especially since she dragged him out of bed earlier than necessary. He told her it was a process though, and he agreed to help her through it. Her heart felt full when he said that. She probably would have read too far into it in the past, but things were different now.

Devi knew she would have to tell Ben eventually that she was spending so much time with Paxton, but she just didn’t want him to overreact. He knew how much she had pined for Paxton before they started dating, and even though she and Paxton were friends only now, it wouldn’t change the threat he posed in her boyfriend’s mind.

you and PHY seem awfully chummy - Fab

Devi looked over her shoulder at her friends after reading Fabiola’s text message. Both Fab and Eleanor were giving her pretty pointed looks, and Devi just responded with a grimace and raised eyebrows. This whole friends thing sounded so easy with Paxton when they were sitting on his couch in the middle of the night. No one else was around, no one could pass judgment. Things were going to be a little harder in practice.

Fortunately, class was pretty uneventful. Mr. Shapiro started a new unit, they went over the lesson, and they were dismissed. Devi gathered her things quickly and hurried out of the room without waiting for her friends, her boyfriend, or Paxton. Of course, Paxton was her friend, so she didn’t know why she listed him in his own category.

“Hey,” the object of her musings appeared beside her locker.

Devi jumped at the sound of his voice, but managed to somewhat recover. “Hey, what’s good, playa?”

Paxton smirked at her with warm eyes. “Just wanted to check on you now that it’s been a couple hours.”

“Oh! Honestly, I feel good. Watching you actually helps me calm down,” she said before realizing how it sounded. “I mean, not that I just watch you, but I mean, watching you swim… it’s nice to see how you glide through the water… it’s like a white noise machine.”

“Right,” Paxton replied slowly after a beat. “Well you should come by today after school. I have an idea.”

She nodded as he walked away down the hall. Before Devi’s imagination could get the better of her though, her friends replaced Paxton in her line of vision.

“What is going on?” Fabiola asked bluntly.

“Yeah, are you and Paxton hooking up behind Ben’s back?”

“What? Of course not!” Devi was outraged. How could they think she would do that? “Paxton is my friend.”

“Since when?”

“Yeah, last thing we knew, you went there for dinner for his sister and it got hella weird,” Eleanor added. “What gives?”

Devi had not shared the one on one conversations she and Paxton had with her friends. Sure, the initial apology after dinner would probably be okay. Having a drink with Paxton in the garage at 2 o’clock in the morning after catching him in his underwear with an erection? No, there was no good way to relay that encounter.

“Um..” Devi hesitated. She couldn’t tell them the truth now after hiding her fear for so long, and then telling Paxton before telling them. They’d think she was a bad friend. “I’m tutoring him,” she lied. “Yeah, he’s got to get his grades up to meet the minimum for Stanford swimming to offer him a scholarship so I’m helping him.”

“Does Ben know?” Eleanor asked as Devi’s phone pinged in her pocket.

She pulled her phone out and read the message from Paxton, don’t forget to bring your suit ;), and she felt her cheeks heat up. “No,” she told Eleanor absentmindedly. “No, he doesn’t know.”

“Well, are you going to tell him?” Fabiola prodded.

Devi shook herself out of her daze and really heard her friends’ questions. “No, not right now. You guys know he would freak out if he knew Paxton and I were spending time together no matter how platonic. I’ll tell him eventually but everything is still so new, I don’t want to wreck it.”

Her friends’ judgment was evident, but Devi couldn’t let that bother her. Paxton was helping her confront one of her deepest fears, and she didn’t need to feel guilty about that. Instead, she chose to focus on making the most of her time with Paxton and enjoying their friendship while hopefully ridding her of her phobia.

Devi knocked briefly before letting herself into the Hall-Yoshida garage. It was empty and so she dropped her bag and plopped down onto the couch. It was almost funny, Devi thought. Things were so different now. A few months ago, she was terrified entering this space. She’d freaked, cut her leg open and bolted. Even the last time she’d been here, she’d tried to quietly reflect and calm her nerves after having one of her sexual fantasies manifest in the form of actually seeing Paxton Hall-Yoshida in his underwear with a boner. Now, she just comes right in and —

“Make yourself at home,” Paxton’s voice broke her from her thoughts.

She intended to make a sarcastic retort, but was caught off guard by him being in swim trunks already, and not the tight spandex trunks he wore for the swim team. No, these were normal, red and black trunks. They were entirely less revealing, outside of showing off his muscled chest, but they weren’t a uniform. Something about Paxton being voluntarily half naked and not bleeding from the hand had Devi looking at him dumbly from across the room.

“Devi, you good?” He asked cautiously, coming to sit next to her.

Her gaze trailed down from his collarbone to his pecs, to his abs, to his… her eyes grew wide as she realized she was openly ogling him. She snapped her eyes back to his to find him grinning at her.

“Everything okay?” He asked again. She nodded dumbly in response. “Good. Why don’t you go change? I have an idea that may work to start.”

“Okay, I’ll go change in the bathroom and meet you back here?”

“Nah, just come out to the back yard.”

Completely disrobed in the bathroom, Devi had another decision to make. Two suits. She brought two bathing suits with her both that morning and in the afternoon. She hadn’t even bothered to change before class that morning because just entering the aquatic center was enough to bring her near hyperventilation. She couldn’t do that again, and to be fair, if Paxton had a pool, it was news to Devi. And she asked him to help her swim. If that’s what she really wanted, then she needed to trust Paxton and let him help her. That meant she had to choose: black, Speedo one-piece or bubble gum pink bikini?

“Why’d you even bring both, Devi?” She asked her reflection.

She wasn’t sure she was ready to answer that question. She knew things were different now. She was dating Ben, and Paxton was her friend. That was her choice… it was just a much easier choice to make when she and Paxton weren’t speaking to each other. If she was honest, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Paxton since their middle of the night encounter last week. He was right when he said they had come a long way. She had come a long way, becoming more comfortable around him, and seeing him on an equal level versus the Adonis pedestal she placed him on in the past. Then he became real.

Paxton became more than the unattainable sex god that riddled her darkest fantasies. He became someone she could talk with, laugh with, open up to. He became her friend. Her friend that was still a sex god that riddled her darkest fantasies… these were the thoughts that had her leaning toward the far more revealing bikini for their lesson that afternoon.

She had a boyfriend though, a boyfriend she very much liked. Sure, she and Ben were unkind to each other in the past. He had routinely referred to her by a boy’s name, called her unfuckable, and yeah, he started the rumor that she faked her paralysis freshman year. She played her own role in their antagonistic relationship though, and all that was behind them anyway. Ever since his party, Ben had been much nicer to her. Of course, that was including when he tried to kiss her while still dating Shira… but obviously, that was because he had feelings for her that when he was sober, he wasn’t ready to confront yet. He had been there for her like no one else had. He deserved a good girlfriend. That was Devi’s last thought on the subject before donning the black athletic one piece.

The first thing Devi saw when she stepped onto the patio made her heart catch in her throat. A hot tub. It was too big. It was too much. Too much. She couldn’t get in a hot tub. It was already way too hot, Devi thought, feeling the air get thicker around her. Her throat felt constricted and she wondered how anyone was as able to breathe in these conditions. It felt impossible.

“Devi! Are you okay?” She heard Paxton ask faintly.

Her head began shaking back and forth frantically, but she didn’t feel like she was the one controlling it. Instead, it was moving of its own accord, and her voice didn’t sound like her own when she said, “I can’t get in the hot tub.”

Two strong hands grasped her waist and physically turned her so her back was to the offending item. It was then she saw Paxton. His eyes searched hers desperately before a hand came to cradle her face. She immediately felt herself relax into his touch just enough that she could take a breath.

“Hey, you’re okay. I got you,” he cooed. “I know you’re not ready for that, and that’s okay. Just take a deep breath.”

She still felt like she was gulping for air, but her body melted into his as he pulled her in for a hug. They just stood like that until she could regain control of her breathing. When she did, Paxton gently released her and Devi was honestly surprised by how disappointed she was to not be in his arms any longer.

“You good?” He asked cautiously. She nodded sheepishly. “Cool. Let’s get away from this so you can see what I have set up for you.”

She nodded again and let him take her hand to lead her deeper into the backyard. When she saw it, she couldn’t believe the relief that flooded her.

“A slip n slide?” She huffed out.

“A slip n slide!” He dropped her hand to raise his arms victoriously. “I looked up some stuff about phobias and I think it’ll help. It’s called exposure treatment. We’ll start slow and work your way up.”

“You researched phobias?”

“Well, yeah,” he nodded. “And I’ll be here for you the whole time.”

Devi felt herself smile. Paxton really took the time to try to figure out how to help her. No throwing her in the deep end of the pool, but actually holding her hand through this. Being by her side while they figured it out together. She couldn’t believe how lucky she felt to have him in her life at that moment.

It wasn’t a very fancy slip n side, most likely he’d had it in the shed since he and Becca were kids. It was still in good shape though and he’d placed it over a decline at the end that allowed for pooling of water. He had the hose running and ready, but when they stepped up to the start, it became infinitely more intimidating.

As though he could sense her apprehension, Paxton said, “how about I go first, and then you can try?”

She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat in order to respond. When she wasn’t successful, she nodded. Paxton gave her a weak grin, and reached out to squeeze her shoulder. It was probably a measure of reassurance, and it worked for a moment, but the minute his touch was gone, her nerves settled in again.

“Okay, so you want to get a running start so you go faster through the slide,” he told her, taking four to five steps back. “You ready?”

“Ready,” she choked out after a beat of silence.

Paxton took off, and dove smoothly onto the track. Devi felt her anxiety melt away as he slid down the track on his stomach. It was almost like watching his perfect strokes through the water, and something about watching him made her forget her fear. Then he crashed into the small wading pool at the end of the slide, and just like that Devi’s breath was stuck in her throat again, and it felt like a bucket of ice water was dumped over her head.

When Paxton stood up, he immediately sought her gaze for eye contact. Just as quickly, he seemed to notice how her panic rose again.

“Devi,” he called down to her. “You can do this, okay? Don’t think about the water, just focus on me.” She could feel how wide her eyes were and her mouth was starting to dry out as it hung open, but Paxton’s encouragement started to wear her down when he said, “Come to me, Devi. I got you.”

She took a steadying breath and barely nodded before stepping a few paces back like Paxton had. Paxton continued to cheer her on and beckon her to his open arms as she fought her body to cooperate with her. Finally, after another deep breath, Devi let out a guttural scream, her war cry, and ran toward the slide. She slid onto her stomach much like Paxton had and did not have the good sense to close her mouth until it was filled with hose water. It got her choked up again and it was difficult to catch her breath, but just as quickly as she started, she was plunged into the wading pool. Before she had a chance to panic-swallow more water, Paxton’s strong arms hauled her to a standing position and she collided with his chest in a tight hug.

“You did it!” He whispered triumphantly. “You did great, I’m so proud of you.”

“I did it,” she breathed, arms clutched tightly around his shoulders as though he would disappear if she let go. “I did it,” she repeated, a tear slipping down her cheek.

Devi and Paxton worked with the slip n slide for three more weeks, and it was amazing how quickly she was improving. Each time, Paxton was there to catch her at the end of the slide, and she grew more confident with each trip.

“So do you have plans this weekend?” Paxton asked, passing her a towel.

“Probably just studying for the history test,” she replied, drying her hair gently.

“With Gross?”

They hadn’t talked about Ben at all during their sessions. She had also skirted the issue of spending so much time with Paxton by telling her boyfriend that she’d been assigned a new student to tutor. She didn’t tell him it was Paxton. Things had been calm the last few weeks despite how crazy the first months of the semester had been. If she was honest, she hadn’t spent much time with or thought much about Ben that week at all. Things were going so well with Paxton and their sessions that she spent most of her time looking forward to the next time she’d be in his backyard in her bathing suit.

“Uh.. I don’t know. Probably him, Fab, and Eleanor, I guess,” she told him. “Or by myself. I don’t really have anything planned.”

“Would you…” he trailed off quietly before finding his voice again. “Would you maybe want to study here… with me?”

Devi felt herself smile. “Sure, I mean, my friends think I’m tutoring you anyway so that would make sense.”

“What?”

She breathed through another smile at how his brow furrowed, but rolled her eyes at herself before answering him. “I had to have a reason for why we’re talking so much more at school… so I told them I was tutoring you.”

Paxton’s head dropped as he huffed out a laugh. “You’re really good at lying, huh?”

“No! I just… get nervous about how people will react to stuff so sometimes it’s just easier to say something else.”

He nodded. “Well, you better tutor me then. ‘Cause if I fail this test, your whole story falls apart,” he said taking a step closer to her.

“Maybe you just don’t listen to me,” she grinned.

He took another step forward, this time into her personal space. “Impossible,” he countered, “have you met you?”

Devi’s smile grew before she realized how close Paxton really was to her. It wasn’t his actual proximity. They’d been closer physically than ever in these recent weeks, but something felt different that time. She could feel the heat radiating off of him and there was electricity in the air. He seemed to feel it too, and shook himself free before taking the towel back from her. That only allowed him to take in the full view of her from top to bottom, forcing Devi to close her eyes so she didn’t feel the full force of his gaze.

She heard Paxton swallow, then clear his throat, and then he took a step back. Devi chose then to meet his gaze, and found the same calculating look she’d now seen a total of three times. He had a depth she hadn’t previously credited him with. Now that she’d seen it, it was hard to ignore.

“Uh.. yeah, I think we could study together.”

Paxton grinned crookedly at her. “Cool,” he licked his lips before changing the subject. “Why don’t you go ahead and change, and then I’ll take you home.”

“That’s okay, I can I walk.” Devi said quickly. “I mean, I’d like to walk. Helps me clear my head.”

“Oh.. okay.”

Devi didn’t feel like she took another breath until she was shut in the bathroom of the Hall-Yoshida residence. Was Paxton really flirting with her? Did he really check her out like she thought he had? She’d been so wrong about so many of their encounters in the past, but… he did kiss her. Paxton Hall Yoshida was her first kiss and it was only a couple months ago. Maybe he really liked her. Maybe they —

A text message on her phone cut off her internal rambling. When she read it, her breath caught in her throat again:

Why are you at Paxton’s?

Fuck. Ben.

How could she forget about Ben? Here she was going down the Paxton rabbit hole again when she had Ben, her actual boyfriend. Things were different now though. She wasn’t sure exactly when they changed, but she knew they had.

She quickly typed out a response and then changed into her dry clothes.

***

“So Paxton is the student you’re tutoring?

“Uh.. yeah, kinda,” Devi told Ben. “Paxton is my friend, but I am helping him study.” It wasn’t technically a lie anymore now that they’d made plans for Saturday.

“Anything else you want to tell me?”

“What are you accusing me of, Ben?”

“Obviously, I’m the only one committed to this relationship. You’re still just drooling over some dick that wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.”

Devi scoffed, as the wind left her sails. She knew Ben would be hurt, and she expected him to be jealous that she was spending time with Paxton. She didn’t expect him to say Paxton wouldn’t want anything to do with her. She didn’t expect him to imply that she wasn’t good enough for Paxton. Like Ben was doing her some great, big favor by dating her. Once a UN, always a UN, she guessed.

“You know, I came here ready to explain myself, ready to apologize. Maybe you’re right though. Maybe you’re the only one committed to this relationship. God knows, I don’t want to be in a relationship where it’s okay to talk to me like that.”

Ben’s eyes widened, and Devi watched the color drain from his face. “No, Devi, I didn’t mean” —

“You didn’t mean to, not accuse me of cheating on you, but instead, accuse me of so desperately wanting to cheat on you that I would be the lap dog to a different guy?”

Devi really thought Ben deserved an explanation. That was why she went to his house. She realized though, she didn’t owe him anything. Ben had been the constant ignition to Devi’s insecurities. She thought that would stop when they became boyfriend and girlfriend, but no. Instead, he wanted to keep them together by making her feel unwanted by anyone else. She knew better though.

“Devi” —

“You are seriously the textbook ‘nice guy,’ aren’t you?” She air quoted. “Well, I don’t need any of that. I think we’re done here.”

Ben is canceled.

Devi felt oddly satisfied when she sent the text to Fabiola and Eleanor. She thought she would feel guilty after their encounter, but honestly, she felt liberated. Ben had been there for her when no one else was, and he showed that he cared about her. Still, when confronted with the idea that she may want to spend time with someone else, he immediately turned on her. Red flag. Big red flag.

Her friends immediately made plans to have a sleepover at Eleanor’s the following night. They wanted all the details. When Devi happily supplied them, they encouraged her as enthusiastically as she expected.

“Yes, girl,” Eleanor cried, giving her snaps when she told them she wouldn’t let Ben talk to her that way.

“You’re a strong, independent woman, and you don’t need some small little white boy trying to keep you down,” Fabiola bolstered.

“Thanks, guys. That brings me to my next problem though.” And for the first time, she told her friends about when she and Paxton kissed, how her mom had yelled at them the next day and called Paxton stupid, and how he’d left her a voicemail because he’d come to see her while she was in Malibu with her family. They were shocked to say the least.

“So what’s your problem?”

“Wondering exactly how long the pole is that Paxton would touch you with?” Eleanor asked suggestively.

Nope, that is definitely not the issue, Devi thought as she recalled seeing Paxton in his underwear. No, she knew exactly how big a tent that pole could support. The question was, was she misinterpreting their relationship?

“No… I mean, do you think he could like me?”

“Well, he definitely liked you enough to kiss you, but you also chose Ben over him,” Fabiola recapped. “That’s a tough blow.”

“But he wants to spend time with Devi anyway,” Eleanor argued. “I mean, you guys have study sessions almost every afternoon.”

“Right,” Devi trailed off as she considered her encounters with Paxton since she and Ben started dating. How he’d been respectful of her relationship, never once putting Ben down or asking why she had decided to go out with him. She thought about what a good friend he’d been of late with their sessions. She thought about how close she felt to him, and how she wasn’t exaggerating their closeness like she had at the beginning of the school year. She didn’t need to dress up or fabricate the things he said or did to her anymore. Everything was really happening.

“Do you want us to come tomorrow and assess the situation?”

Devi considered Eleanor’s offer, but finally shook her head. “No, I think this is one I have to sort out myself.”

***

“Alright, who coined the term ‘Cold War’ in the British press in October 1954?” Devi asked, looking up at her companion.

“I don’t know… Russia?”

Her eyes narrowed. “No, George Orwell. You’re right, my reputation as a nerd and the best tutor in school is on the line.”

“Shut up, this stuff’s hard. We’re not all Devi Vishwakumar,” he bumped her with his elbow.

“You’re smart too though. How did you know all that stuff about Hinduism or phobias?”

“That’s different. That’s interesting stuff.”

Devi felt her cheeks heat up, and chose to stare at her textbook. Would Paxton find those things interesting if they weren’t directly related to her? Was it his way of saying that she was interesting or important to him? She chanced a glance toward him to see him was also very deliberately staring at his book. She briefly wondered why before he looked up sharply and slapped his knee.

“I guess we have a lot to get through then if we’re going to save your rep. Better get to it.”

“Yeah… for sure,” she said slowly before continuing to quiz him.

A couple hours, some poptarts and pizza rolls later, they had significantly improved Paxton’s knowledge of the subject matter. They both were thrilled with his progress.

“Okay, let’s come full circle,” Devi said. “Who coined the term ‘Cold War?’”

“George Orwell… in the British press… in 1954,” he finished sitting back in his chair confidently.

“Yes! Good job, dude. You picked up on this stuff, no problem!” She smiled.

“Well, you’re a good teacher,” he smiled back, leaning forward.

“You’re a good student,” she told him, biting her bottom lip and leaning forward towards him.

Paxton glanced at her lips briefly before licking his own. She thought, this was it. He was going to kiss her. Instead, Paxton blinked, his eyes staying closed a little longer than normal, and sighed before scooting his chair away from the table.

“Uh.. my parents won’t be home from work for a few hours, and Becca is at a friend’s house if you want to hangout some more,” he suggested, rubbing the back of his neck. “We could drag the slip n slide out?”

Devi smiled. “Umm… I think I’m ready for the next challenge.”

“Yeah?” Paxton asked disbelievingly. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I want to try.”

“Alright,” he smiled with a nod. “I’ll get changed and we’ll head out there.”

Once Devi was closed in the bathroom again, she pulled her suit out of her bag. Pink bikini, don’t fail me now.

After a quick change, and plucking any stray hairs, Devi opened the bathroom door to see Paxton waiting on the other side. Her confidence faltered as he took in her appearance. His brow nearly disappeared into his hairline, and she noticed him swallow before exhaling slowly.

“Is this okay?” She asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, totally okay,” he responded, finally meeting her eye. “I, uh, wanted to walk you out so we could avoid as strong a reaction as last time… We’re in this together, right?”

She nodded, appreciating his support. Together.

It seemed like such a good idea before. Before she was standing in front of a large container filled with water. Water that she would have to submerge herself in.

Already drowning in her own fear, Devi didn’t hear Paxton talking to her until she felt him take her hand.

“Hey, Devi,” he called, waving his other hand in her face. “Can you hear me?”

She blinked longer than usual to clear her head before finding his gaze again. “Yeah, sorry. I was just spiraling.”

“Listen, you don’t have to do this right now. There’s no pressure, okay?”

“I know,” she nodded, licking her lips apprehensively. “I want to do this. You won’t leave me, right?”

He smiled. “We’re in this together, Vishwakumar.”

With that, she carefully made her way up the steps, and stepped into the hot water. Paxton held her hand the whole way. The best part of using the hot tub? The heat further distracted her from her fear that she didn’t even realize Paxton was touching her for a moment. It wasn’t until she was sitting down and should have been relaxing that her anxiety began to spike again.

“Hey, breathe, okay? I’m right here,” Paxton’s hand slipped from hers to wrap around her shoulders.

Without thinking, without meaning to, Devi dropped her head into the crook of Paxton’s neck. Her arms clung to his waist desperately, willing her breathing to level out. She felt Paxton’s other arm come around to encircle her, and it had the very calming effect she assumed he intended. As her breathing returned to a normal pace, Devi found she felt almost sleepy. She felt warm, not because of the water, but inside. It was like her body was humming, like everything was fuzzy. She let out a deep sigh of relief, and felt Paxton shift slightly against her.

“Are you okay?” He whispered. She wondered if he could feel how peaceful things were in that moment. No, he probably just wanted to make sure she hadn’t passed out.

“Yeah,” she breathed. “This helps.”

“Yeah? Like watching me helps?”

“I can’t explain it, and I know it doesn’t make any sense especially because I’m such a disaster when we talk,” she rambled before taking a steadying breath, “but watching you, touching you, calms me down.”

Paxton took a shaky breath, and Devi pulled back slightly to look at him. His eyes were closed, cheeks flushed. She loved seeing him like this. Vulnerable, as though she affected him as much as he affected her. This time, she thought, I’ll kiss him.

Before Devi could lean forward, Paxton abruptly put space between them. One hand remained on her shoulder, but his head was hanging his eyes were closed.

“Devi,” he started before letting out a long sigh, “I am trying so hard. I mean, I love spending time with you and I want to be here for you. I want to be a good friend to you, but you’re killing me.”

“What?”

“You have a boyfriend,” he replied emphatically. “I don’t really know why, but you do. And all this,” he gestured between them, “feels a lot like cheating, and I’m not down for it.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” the words came tumbling out, “no, no, no. No, that’s on me. Paxton” —

“Devi, I like you,” he cut her off. “Not in the ‘I want to reinstate our sex agreement’ way, but like, I really like you. I hate studying! But you make it fun. I love the way you spit out that first five thoughts that pop into your head at any given moment. I love that you trust me to tell me your deepest fear that no one else knows, and I love that we’ve been able to work through it together. I don’t know if I can do this anymore though.”

“Sorry I didn’t interrupt, you really seemed like you were on a roll, but,” she paused to take another deep breath, “I don’t… have a boyfriend anymore.”

“What?”

“Things are different now. I broke up with Ben two days ago, and… I really like you too. I never wanted just sex from you. I just never thought we’d be here right now.”

“You don’t have a boyfriend?”

She shook her head, shyly looking down at the water. Her bottom lip found it’s way between her teeth, barely suppressing her smile. She felt his hand slip from her shoulder and snake it’s way around her waist. She looked up as he pulled her body into his so close that their breath mingled.

“Should we make another toast?” She asked nervously.

His forehead pressed against hers as he laughed. When he regained his composure, he looked in her eyes warmly. “Later.”

And for the second time, Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s lips were on hers, and it. was. electric. Somehow, it was even better than the first time. She felt everything else melt away, and it was just the two of them floating through space. Nothing else mattered for that moment. She wasn’t sure when she ended up in his lap, but she wound her arms around his neck all the same before her hands found his curly hair. Under other circumstances, she may have worried that her own hair had become so frizzy that he wouldn’t find her attractive. She realized though, she didn’t have to worry about that. No, as Paxton gripped her hips tighter, she knew very well that he was attracted to her.

This was everything she ever wanted, except it was better. Paxton’s hand came up to cradle her face as his tongue massaged hers in a way that made her spine tingle. Devi was so engrossed in having the greatest moment of her life, she didn’t hear the back door open.

“Wooooo!” Becca hollered as they jumped apart. “Finally!”

“Becca, get out of here!” Paxton yelled, splashing his sister. She laughed, making a comment about being safe as she went back inside.

“So… your sister’s home,” Devi said. They sat awkwardly for a moment before both breaking into a fit of laughter.

“Yeah, mood ruined, I guess.”

“Well, I know one thing: this is the happiest I’ve felt in any body of water in a year.”

He huffed out a laugh, eyes finding his lap before meeting her gaze again. “Happy to help.”

<< Part 2