#[ My wish is to see this fandom as an accepting and kind community in spite of its past ]

[replicantdeviancy]

PSA;

Just a small note; long rant under cut. This rant involves a personal experience involving internet libel and bullying. Please use discretion if this makes you nervous or upsets you.

I would like to begin this statement by saying that no names or urls will be mentioned for the sake of privacy and to protect the identity of those involved. The bullies in question has been blocked and since reported on all active accounts and at this time no legal action has been taken. I do not condone the act of call outs, cancel culture or witch hunts. I am simply seeking to explain my side of things in hopes that if one comes across these falsities involving my name they will be sensible, rational, and think twice about their validity. Please feel free to open up a dialogue with me at any time (work/sleep schedule taken under consideration) and I will be happy to speak with you. Not just about this unforeseen issue, but in general. Please also have the decency to approach things with a respectful mindset as I will be nothing but respectful with you.

Thank you.

-

In light of a recent conversation I feel I must address this issue as the individual in question seems to have made an unfortunate resurgence. Just under a year ago, in a misguided attempt to use my writing as a means of self-therapy to combat a past trauma I had endured, I decided upon using a narrative in a single AU verse with a single RP partner. Due to some very negative responses from one single individual (I’ll refer to them as A) that narrative had since been abandoned and deleted. However, A brought it upon themselves to perpetuate their false perception of the situation without a rational attempt at speaking with me. Instead of trying to clarify my reason for choosing to participate in something that we, in all actuality, found mutually repugnant, they decided to send me a very harassing message. (I still keep the screenshot of it for legalities sake).

At that time I thought nothing of it. Just a troll trying to shame me for something which offended them. Like most trolls, I expected A was in a very bad place emotionally and was simply deciding to take a shot at low hanging fruit. As such, I responded flippantly. (Please do also not that I personally suffer with extreme generalized anxiety and panic disorder and while I don’t recall every detail of that evening, I do remember I was trembling uncontrollably). I spoke with a few friends about the incident, and they helped me feel better about it. I expected it was over and done. I was incorrect.

A had taken this out of context narrative and my flippant post and decided to call me out, involving a small group of fellow anti’s, perpetually spreading misinformation about the entire situation and framing screenshots to fit their narrative. I wasn’t too upset at the time, still under the impression this individual was someone in a bad place in life, someone with anger issues in need of counseling or therapy. My impression was further proven when this group also began calling out others within the fandom, making outlandish and baseless claims involving the race of some muns and antisemitic remarks. I was also removed from a group chat due to the libel upon my name. Now frightened, I spoke with a few friends again and discovered they too had received call outs. Many of these people had anxiety and similar emotional traumas, mental disorders and the like, which only ended up hurting them further.

I cannot hope to understand why A chose to harm these people, nor what their reason is to blindly make accusations and harass others in place of reasonable dialogues. I did at one point open communication with them, noting their issues on the matter and explaining in no uncertain terms that I agreed with them, that it was simply an exploration of a theme, very closed off and not open to anyone else under any circumstances. (screenshots also kept for legal purposes)  I imagined this communication went well but it appears not to have, as I have come to notice several blogs whom I do not know and have had no contact with already have me blocked.

I am not saying this to garner sympathy, nor to I condone action on anyone’s part involving the individuals in question. I’m a grown adult, perfectly capable of dealing with my inner demons. I have far more concern for those who can’t fight back or don’t have the ability to brush off such vicious negativity directed towards them. I hope others in the future will make the right decision in regard to seeing things on others blogs that they don’t approve of and, rather than go into a fit of wild accusation and blocking that person, being big enough to open up and speak with them with a little compassion.

I will express that some of the themes on this blog are used as a means of personal therapy. Some have worked out, some did not. I have been very private when it comes to my personal life, as no one is entitled to my life story nor my reasons for writing what I choose to. However, apart from a few choice individuals, this has been a very open and caring fandom ( in spite of it’s size ) and most people are rational and compassionate people who just adore their characters and love Detroit: Become Human.

I personally owe a lot to DBH as some chapters helped me get into a better place when it comes to past trauma. The more negative scenes involving Todd and Kara actually had me shaking and needing to take a break, the scenes with Hank involving alcohol made me nervous. But over time and with exposure I no longer automatically have such negative reactions. I began to be able to take a step back and look at these things with a clearer, more objective mindset and could see this as a characters journey rather than something frightening. It still disturbs me and I don’t like it, but I’m more comfortable now.

It’s rather the same with some of my writing. I only have a few things I will absolutely, expressly NOT write about, because no matter the context I simply cannot make myself write it. That’s an individual thing, and everyone has something like that. I hope we can all be understanding to one another on this matter.

Moving forward, I want to make it expressly clear that I do not condone or even agree with any questionable acts my or any characters engage in on this platform. Please take into account that if someone - anyone - writes about something questionable that they in no way condone these things and that the mundane does not, in fact, equal the muse. They are two separate entities with separate opinions, feelings, emotions, thoughts and mindsets. If we begin to police others on their ethics based solely on the theme portrayed or character written, we fall dangerously towards a slippery slope of thought policing. I urge all of you to read a book entitled 1984 which examines the dangers of this very narrative.

As a closing note, I want to say that I am not angry at A or the group of anti’s for their actions. I’m not even upset that they seem to be keen on spreading misinformation a year after the incident had been resolved. I only wish to say that I sincerely hope they get the help they need and that they someday find themselves in a better, happier place emotionally.

If you yourself are bullied or preyed upon but internet trolls, harassed or otherwise a victim of libel, please have the courage to report it to staff. Block the harasser in question. Do as I have and keep screen caps of their harassing messages and posts and show them to staff. Libel is a federal crime and online bullying is a prosecutable offense in a court of law. And if you yourself are someone who participates in cancel culture or bullying, please, I encourage you to speak with someone and find the source of this anger within yourself. Speak with your primary care physician and begin the path towards therapy, because your mental health is important and there are people who love you. There is no reason to take your aggressions out on others or jump to conclusions. If you cannot afford therapy, I encourage you to use one of the services from the list linked HERE. The saying “Walk a mile in my shoes” should be adopted, for you should be willing to open yourself up and empathize with others. Everyone does something for a reason.

Friends, please be careful out there. Bullies are a rare thing in this fandom as it stands and as they have slowly been banned or moved on, the DBH fandom has become a better, positive place for many individuals to express their love of characters, actors and the game itself and can engage others in fun, inventive writing projects. Let’s continue to be the fans that Bryan and Amelia would be proud of. Let’s stay positive and accepting towards one another. I have been so grateful for the people who chose to follow me and wanted to write with me, who put up with my stupid gushing and silly thread ideas. Not a single one of you is a number to me. You all bring something to the table and I’m glad to be here, two years in and having a blast. I hope each of you have such good fortune.

Take care and be well.

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[halfemptygirlrps-archive]

Polyamory CAN work (long post)

As a black, queer woman who could very well be poly, I am always looking for content to feed my soul and have for a few years now. I know I grumble about white/het couples a lot which makes me sound some kind of way but I ship a ton of white couples, that isn’t the problem. It’s the way representation is stepped on these days with toxic white couples being seen as true love that upsets me. And this is coming from a chick that lowkey ships Reylo.

I don’t understand and never will why writers in 2020 think that the only demographic there is are the people who can’t handle seeing anything but a white male and a white female be together. Interracial relationships CAN and DO work and f/f or m/m relationships or any race CAN work, so guess what, so can relationships involving three or more people and while difficult, it can work, even if the people are different races.

My annoyance also stems from Poly woman really getting shat on when writers hit a wall. Very few times have I seen it work out and that’s so stupid to me because she shouldnt’ have to choose.

I start with Wynonna Earp, a CLEARLY Poly woman with a strong sexual appetite that never gets shamed. She loved both Dolls and Doc and though Shamier left the show effectively forcing her to Doc, they still made it clear that she was poly and capable of having feelings for more than one man when they brought in Charlie. He was patient and sweet and while all three men wanted Wynonna to themselves, they NEVER gave her an ultimatum and even while PREGNANT WITH ANOTHER MAN’S BABY  Dolls still loved her and held her in bed. I believe that had Shamier (Dolls)  not left that they would have went on waiting for her to choose but also letting her know that she didn’t have to.

Then there’s my first real Poly stan, Bo Dennis from Lost Girl. Unapologetically bisexual and poly, Bo was in control at all times, both of her relationships and her sexuality. While she needed sex to feed like a vampire needs blood,she also enjoyed it and didn’t view it as a curse or burden and her partners were alwasy consenting, which was amazing. Lauren never shamed Bo (in fact she praised her sexuality and wished she could keep up) for liking men (thus not being toxic to bi women, which is an issue in the community I wont get into) and Dyson, Bo’s male lover never pressured her to submit to him. Here she is pictured with Tamsin, Dyson and Lauren, all her lovers, at once.

If all three of them can be respectful and understanding while each of them were with Bo alone, not a quad, then why do they make it seem so hard to have three people love each other? And yes, I know that couples break up, but on Tv they just dont need to when it’s what a show is based on.

I could go on about Bo all day but I will move on to one of my favorite movies: Prof. Marsden and the Wonder Women.

Now real or not this story had everything. It showed how slowly and steadily they grew to love each other, the highs and lows and the shame of the community that made them all stronger together. Was there jealousy at times, yeas, but they addressed it and learned that they didnt’ need to be and that they could all be together happily and that it could be easy to be in love with more than one person. Sure, it was the 40s but in this day and age it’s nothing to hide, and if they could have a happily ever after back then, why couldn’t it happen now? 

Could it be because of race? Without kidding ourselves, we know that every fandom is capable of being toxic and that it’s just fact that the black girl is often hated. I call it the Iris West treatment, where the clear canon couple is hated and the black girl is trashed for the white option. I quit Supergirl after Season 2 but I hear that Jimmy’s sister is getting said treatment now from a friend that still watches and I am not surprised.  You can’t force an actor to stay on a show and I get that having their ship destroyed build animosity, but I really can’t help but feel like had the other girl been white it wouldn’t have been such a huge issue. A Stefan vs Damon issue none the less, but still, less so. I say that because I have seen actual people defend Mon El in that fandom but saying “what’s wrong with owning slaves?” NUff said. 

Another reason I bring up why it could be race is because of You, Me, Her.

I really enjoy this show and will be sad to see it and and while I recommend it, there are flaws, but none of these flaws seems to be that the three of them can’t work past it and get back together. 

Emma and Jack are married, Izzy comes in and shakes up their world and they both fall ass over elbows in love with her and her with them. They go through the usual things:jealousy, favoritism, hiding their relationship then coming out, but they always work through it. When Jack leaves to date an ex, he comes back. When Emma leaves to date and ex, she comes back. When Jack and Emma think about moving away and Izzy doesn’t want to, they come back. When Izzy has a thing with a co-worker, she still chooses Jack and Emma because they know they all need and love each other. They even have babies together! Izzy sees the sonogram and her heart stops. She realizes that she is going to be their actual mom and they all get married and even look into tri custody because they know they are a family and that it’s not an odd man out type of thing. They try it with other people and with just one another but they know where they’re hearts belong. It works. Does it work because they’re all white? NOPE

Sense8 was a brilliant show. Here everyone was represented and it was such a shame they killed it. Still, they showed us that sexuality can be fluid and that a fandom can be supportive. Raj and Kala married in spite Kala loving someone else. They never made her choose and in the end, they accepted that she was poly and wanted both and guess what? The two guys even fell for each other! Here is a white, bisexual male with his Indian partners. India isn’t the greatest with being gay so for Raj this must have been stranger and scary but they both made him feel safe and comfortable, loved and supported and in the end it was canon that they were all going to be together and learn as they go. Like with You, Me, Her, the fandom is supportive of this and while we didn’t get much of Rajalagang, it is clear that they can work regardless of skin color, religion, and even long distance.

So then why not Polymarine? It was clear it tested well with the audience, haters aside, so what made them feel like they couldn’t carry on? Sure, people fall out of love, but in the show, they just didnt’ need to. Before Ryn Ben and Maddie were together without issue for almost a year. It was made clear every time that he was in love with her, that they had chemistry and that he was attracted to her, so how do they justify saying that this:

Wasn’t real and meant nothing? That this

Wasn’t the same?

If other relationships can survive and thrive then what is it that was so hard, so difficult for the writers that they remove the credit that they themselves paved the way for and throw it aside for something that has been done literally thousands of times? Why throw away what made you unique to fall in line? Why does a show about mermaids have to have this be the “realistic” thing?

[zghostreviews]

She ra review part 1

I know this isn't anime, but this show and how horrendous the writing got has honestly bugged me to no end.

SheRa 2018 is a "reboot" of the 80s SheRa, though I wouldn't even call it reboot considering the creator trashed the original constantly and also never even watched the original show in the first place. The only thing this "reboot" has in common is that it uses the names of the characters from the original and that's it. The show is basically a fucking fanfiction labelled under original work outside of that essentially.

Going into the actual show topic.

----

I started this show pretty much a year or 2 late, basically just waiting for all the drama to die down from the annoying reactionary communities. When starting out, I REALLY wanted to like the show, and honestly, I was enjoying it back then. Unfortunately, as episodes went by I started enjoying it less, ESPECIALLY in season 5 where everything had officially gone to shit.

The writing for this show is honestly fucking awful, they had many great ideas but either these were executed badly, or they didn't go completely through with it. There's also a lot of stuff that didn't make sense. Like when it comes to the princesses, elements, and their runestones. The elemental princesses are all able to do that rainbow power thing that I forgot the name of, yet some princesses that actual have a power that is elemental(*coughs*spinerella*coughs*) aren't able to be included in this. Glimmer which doesn't even use an elemental power can be included, but Spinerella, who literally uses wind, a fucking elemental, can't be included?? That sure doesn't make sense. This show also has a problem with further elaborating on things.

Though they did a REALLY good job with the writing of Shadow Weaver, she is a VERY complex character and you can truely tell the writers put alot of their effort into her. If you're not some fucking catradora stan that just immediately hates her character just because she abused your fave, than you'd definitely agree.

-----

Going into the characters themselves.

Adora

She's very bland for a main character and Im honestly not a fan of her design. Why is she shaped like one of those bugs from the ants movie when she was a soldier that constantly trained since childhood? She should have muscle of some kind, and that goes for everyone else in the horde minus Rogelio, Scorpia, and Huntara who was a former horde member.

Catra

I really....really don't like catra, she reminds me of 4 different goals I knew....if they all merged into one person... Catra is a selfish, manipulative, and very unstable character. She had SO many opportunities throughout this show, literally since the first season to just join the good side Adora is now on. Catra, unlike Adora was very much aware that the horde was evil since day one, yet when offered the chance MULTIPLE times to join the good side, she refuses, but is still VERY adamant on stalking Adora, and constantly trying to kill her. Season 5 was especially awful, she literally got worse and worse overtime until this season and in season 4 was willing to commit mass murder(or would it be mass genocide?) all because of Adora, just to spite her. I see many catra stans trying to say catra's redemption arc was better than Zuko's when um, no? It wasn't. Unlike catra, Zuko didn't have multiple chances to better herself and join the good side automatically. Zuko, from what I remember, couldn't just immediately drop everything and join the good side. He was a prince of the fire kingdom who was stuck under his father's command and he actively had to work to better himself throughout MULTIPLE seasons before he could join the good side and gain people's trust. Meanwhile Catra had multiple chances since literally day one to better herself and go to the good side, yet she just wanted to be an asshole, attempt to kill everyone, abuse others, and overly obsess over, stalk, and literally murder Adora on multiple occasions. Literal toxic relationship, but that didn't matter as long as it was catradora end game.

Bow

I actually have no problem with him, he's a nice support character. The only annoying thing is that his abs are constantly showing no matter what he's wearing, except for the one time when he was trying to hide his real self when we first meet his dads.

Glimmer

I didn't like this girl either. I hated the way she treated her mother. She just seems spoiled and whiny and way too quick to do things without an ounce of thought. The way she treated her mom most of the time was just completely unnecessary. Like dayum bitch, she just doesn't want to lose the only other family she has left. As someone with mother issues and does not have a mother, Glimmer had literally no reason to be that fucking rude to her mother, her mother just cares about her well being, safety, and overall existence, unlike mine.

Shadow Weaver/Light Spinner

Excellent character, very well written, bonus points for having a hot voice and having big milf energy. She was the horde kids caretaker and trainer from what it seemed. She has a lot of layers to her. If you look more into her character you see that she actually does care about people around her, she just could be emotionally stunted. She was kinda both selfless and selfish. She had this whole obsession with gaining power which she had even as light spinner, which definitely hints at her family maybe being disappointed in her for being powerless or something along those lines. She even shows signs of having been abused herself, but unfortunately continued this cycle of abuse on Catra and Adora specifically. Shadow Weaver had many goals that involved Adora specifically and she was willing to hurt others in order to finish this goal. Even as Light Spinner this was prominent as she was willing to help save the universe even if it ended up harming herself or others around her in the process. She wasn't just some cruel old woman, but a very complex woman that had a lot of baggage. Sucks that they ended up killing her, I wish she got her own redemption because her story definitely had a lot of potential to be great. It would've been cool to see her try to better herself out of her own willingness, repent for the shit she'd done, maybe a childhood backstory to understand her better, and she tries to apologize to those she used and abused and it doesn't in any way involve having to accept her apology. I just think Shadow Weaver was a neat character.

Hordak

The mindcontrolling is not an excuse for how fucking shitty he is, he became a fucking a war criminal and coloniser out of his own free will. The fandom seems to think that shadow Weaver had done everything wrong, but look at hordak like "uwu my sweet cinnamon roll". Hordak literally colonised kingdoms, kidnapped infants and young children, most likely imprisoned and/or killed those babies parents/other family members, tried to take over the whole world, and other actual war crimes, but he got a pass to walk off into the sunset because he had feelings for someone, and his big bro was mean to him when he was in the cult. Don't come at me with the 'buts' you have, wrong hordak didnt do any of the bs our hordak did when he was no longer under mind control.

----

I think I'm done for now. It's 1am now. I'm gonna just stop here and continue with more at some point.

[iwanthermidnightz]

The following is the summary of Kate’s latest episode on Taylor. Forgive the back and forth and random points... Kate likes to ramble. It was literally an hour and a half of that but she did bring up some good points. This is her analyzing ‘The Archer’ among other things! For the record, I’m writing from her perspective/direct words.

————————————————-

-Thinks The Archer is beautiful, ethereal, and lush

-It’s very Donna Lewis, very Robyn, it’s a nostalgic sound, very Jack Antonoff, very Lorde Melodrama.. its a certain sound reverberating female celestial voices that reminds her of the 90s and she likes it

-It’s a promo single which means it’s released to promote the album, it’s not released to radio stations for airplay- no music video

-Sounds transitional, unfinished song… it’s building

-Released to convey a level of emotional vulnerability

-Taylor said in radio interviews in the UK that this album is very pure and it’s not in response to something like she said reputation was

-“Lover is about what songs would I write for the sake of writing songs? Most of them are about love in the sense that they’re a love letter to love itself”

-We’re in an era with VERY little information

-We’ve seen Joe twice in 2019 (go figure)

-Taymerica, Squad, Calvin, we see her all the time

-Then she gets in this mysterious private ‘relationship’ with Joe almost so much so that there’s no reason to speculate or think about her personal life because it’s so under the radar and she’s never officially talked about him

-She automatically likes his Instagram posts within 2 minutes which a lot of us think is some sort of thing Instagram does for people like her

-She has a theory Taylor and Taylornation can see stories without read receipts (duh)

-The Archer represents a person that's reflecting on their behavior and their patterns and thinking about their relationships in life and thinking about the role of self-sabotage as it relates to your personal relationships

-Talks about the dive bar situation, she needs to spend more time thinking about it

-She talks about the easter eggs leading up to the archer and debates whether Taylor planned this out 3 years ago because of the archer angel in the delicate mv, and the way the people in the delicate mv see right through her, it makes sense

-She always wondered what aspects of Taylors personal life is a media narrative. What has she actually confirmed herself? What are these songs really saying?

-She thinks the songs on reputation sound like really closeted anthems

-It’s none of her business what her sexuality is but it is her business to interpret her songs the way any open-minded person should

-So much of reputation she really read being about a relationship with a woman because it was so grounded in secrecy, quiet moments, darkest little paradise, happened for the first time, I don’t want you like a best friend, everybody thinks that they know us but they know nothing about us, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us, I had a bad feeling… (yes she named them all in the same breath)

-Lyrics have never been about the protection and privatization of involuntarily public love, they’ve been lyrics about a perception of a forbidden love -It’s one thing to hide from the paparazzi, and to be like “something happens when everybody finds out, loose lips sink ships all the damn time”, recites ‘I Know Places’ basically- calls it a closeted anthem because Taylor literally comes out of closet doors on the 1989 tour.

-Thinks there are themes in Taylors songs that she might miss as a straight person and doesn’t want to discount them

-She was reading an article in Vulture written by none other than known Kaylor truther Jill Gutowitz, mentioned how Jill very openly talks about Gaylor and Karlie Kloss and even recently Tree Paine liked one of her tweets

-Tree Paine is a mastermind and has boots on the ground everywhere (Indeed she is!)

-Thinks the Tree Paine like was strategic

-Jill said in an article that there were implicitly queer lyrics placed throughout ‘The Archer’: ‘pace like a ghost’, ‘heroes die all alone’, ‘help me hold onto you’, dying alone and holding on to someone who isn’t right for you are all important tenants of the lesbian canon (shes quoting Jill)

-Kate did not pick up on any of that cause shes straight haha

-Mentions how Taylors fans are divided by those who think her songs are blatantly queer and those who don’t and believe the Toe relationship is real bc the media shows them that and they believe it firsthand (true)

-She quotes the reputation prologue “when the album comes out gossip blogs will scour the lyrics for the men they can attribute to each song as if the inspiration for music is as simple and basic as a paternity test and there will be slideshows and photos backing up each incorrect theory because it’s 2017 and if you didn’t see a picture of it it didn’t happen right? Let me say it again louder for those in the back… we think we know someone but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us.”

-Kate says that those are her actual straightforward words and you can’t read that and say that it's not okay to believe in things we haven’t seen or that it’s calling her a liar to only believe what we’ve seen if she is telling us to our faces that we think we know her but the truth is we only know the version of herself that she has chosen to show us

-That is an admission of Taylor being strategic in what we know, and a ton we don’t know

-The prologue should’ve opened up the doors for an and all theories to be fair game but somehow it divided the fandom deeper than she’s ever seen

-Calling her a liar about what she’s told us thus far is not fair (it takes a mature person to understand that)

-The Taylor Swift strategic businesswoman who keeps us on our toes waiting for new music and clues is part of her success- not all. But there is a difference between that Taylor and the Taylor she is behind closed doors. She’s still a person. So to say she's a liar is not right.

-We can’t imagine what it takes to be in her position and not have lost her mind yet

-Maybe shes had a breakdown but we haven’t seen it (wasn’t that her disappearance before reputation?)

-Kate goes back to ‘The Archer’ and her internal struggle

-She read something that Taylor liked on Tumblr where someone said that The Archer is the song version of her poem called “If you’re anything like me”... epiphany.

-The song is about talking about her shortcomings while simultaneously accepting them and saying if you’re anything like me I’m sorry but you’ll be fine

-Kate recites the whole poem now lol

-Showcases a lot of strength in your weakness and pointing out the importance of going through these things in order to find oneself and to acknowledge that some things are just pillars of the way you are

-Back to the archer - this song is about the unwelcome justice system in her head in terms of patterns, knowing how she's going to react, in terms of wishing she were another way and objectively being able to see that but not being able to feel that is a very human experience to constantly be in between your head and your heart

-You only know your own experience, anyone that's hurt you stays in your subconscious or otherwise and we often react in response or defense of it and when she’s saying “no amount of friends at 25 will fill the empty seats at the lunch tables of your past and the teams that picked you last but darling, you keep trying”

-She has been criticized so many times and publicly taken down, shes felt like she can't do anything right at times

-Brings up the ME! Performance at the Billboard awards and no one talked about the performance, just that she ‘copied Beyonce’

-Stuff like that that was not intentional is often pegged on her for better or worse, correct or not

-To be accused of copying or being tone-deaf when shes probably orchestrated this team to make sure none of that happened would be so thankless and frustrating and sometimes the hate is louder

-At times in her career, she's had no choice but to jump to her own overwhelming defense

-You can't trust a lot of people if you are easily used and you do have to be somewhat cut and dry and I think that being put in an environment where it benefits you to be cut and dry because there are so many shady people but maybe she doesn’t really want to be

-She has no choice but to be black or white about her life and feelings and standing up for herself

-Back to The Archer- Kate doesn’t understand the point of “I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey”

-It’s kind of like I’ve been the attacker and I’ve been the victim, I’ve had the upper hand and I’ve had the lower hand, I’ve been the dumper and I’ve been dumped

-Kate thinks Taylor’s been on the attack and defense and she knows what it feels like to be treated the exact same way she treats people and therein lies the issue

-That’s a confusing thing to process in your head period and to communicate in a song is inevitably going to be a little bit frantic and convoluted but that's kind of the point. The anxiety of how you handle things and how you accept yourself despite the way you likely mishandle things

-Taylor starts out saying “I’m ready for combat” in the most reluctant, delicate voice that is not indicative of somebody ready for combat

-That sounds like somebody who is a reluctant participant in their own patterns and they don’t want to be doing it but they know they’re going to and they know they’ll do it again

-These patterns and issues that we have exhibit over and over the reason for self-loathing and it's almost harder when you’re older and can acknowledge that you do these things and they don’t work for you but I still do them anyway

-It’s that self awareness paired with the active participation in these bad habits that make a person really start to doubt themselves and in using figures of speech like “I cut off my nose just to spite my face”, like that cuts deep bc she's basically being like “I overreact and I know I do and on purpose”

-In acting out of anxiety and fear you often end up riding off alone

-At a point you see people come and go, you know how this whole song and dance goes, at a point you start to mourn it before it's over

-That’s kind of like “yeah I never figured out the best way to maintain these relationships and I’m tired of it, I never grew up, I don’t know why I am this way but since I know they come and go and since I’ve always ridden on the train alone that probably what I’ll do again but with your help, help me hold onto you… like I want you to be the exception”

-We all think of ourselves as a catch and a trainwreck and it’s not a bad thing

-Looking for someone’s flaws is something everyone does in relationships

-As it relates to in the past when she’s been burned by somebody’s dark side she wants to call it when she sees it and lock the door before she gets robbed but then there's the conflicting part where she’s like “well what I’m alright, what if I can trust you and I’m alright right here?”

-The entire song is kind of like a back and forth of opposing feelings

-To cut off your nose to spite your face is basically a metaphor for overreacting

-She brings up the Hiddleswift stunt and Taylor revealing that she was Nils Solberg for some reason (connecting it to the metaphor)

(KATE IS RAMBLING SO I’M ONLY ADDING IMPORTANT THINGS NOW)

-We’re so quick to discount people's feelings just because they're in a position of fame and fortune and power but I think we would all feel no less us with money if anything everything’s intensified

-Taylor must have to put up a front all the time because she's not allowed to complain or have bad days when that is your normal and any therapist will tell you you can only heal operating out of your own normal.

-Pain is pain and when you start to compare pain is when you start to trivialize, minimize and not work through what you’re going through and you start to avoid/ignore it

-Taylors in a weird position where she probably has a more internal struggle that anybody

-Through her music we should acknowledge and think about what it’s like on that side, we owe her the respect to be like damn.. this must be hard

-Talks about the “all the king's horses” line and Humpty Dumpty

-All of the resources and people trying to help Taylor at her disposal and they still can’t fix this and that is an empty feeling, like a lost cause

-When Kate hears ‘The Archer’ she hears a highly anxious episode that is not just processing the individual situation going on but then doing a thing where you project it on every single thing that's ever going to happen in your life

OK FIN.

[battlestar-royco]

Considering my place in the anti community

So, I know that might be an alarming title, but rest assured I don’t see myself deactivating or ceasing discussion of SJ/M’s books any time soon. But a lot of things have led me to the decision to explicitly veer my blog in another direction. I’ve said more than once before that I made this blog around May of 2018 as a joke between me, myself, and I, as a way to vent my disappointments with the T0G and AC0TAR series into this dumb blue void. I kid you not, I literally did not expect anyone to interact with me at all, and aside from mutuals on my main, I’d never been sent an ask in all the (then) six years I had a Tumblr. I didn’t expect to meet and befriend such a passionate, salty, visionary, thoughtful community. A little over a year later, I’m interacting with too many people to keep up with, I find myself being tagged and reblogged by reputable bloggers with way bigger followings from all over Tumblr’s diversity-forward fandom communities, and I even have run-ins with anon hate and stan ridiculousness every so often. The anti community as I know it has been a welcoming home that has taught me so much. That being said, there are a few reasons I want to slightly switch gears. So here goes. This is a long one, so thanks for sticking it out, if you make it to the end.

What will remain and what will change?

More will stay the same than will change. I will still absolutely be answering asks about YA books and SJ/M, and I will be posting about the issues within them and how I think they could have gone better. I will also still be tagging such things as anti. I really enjoy discussing the nitty gritty of characters, worldbuilding, and how all that coincides with the handling of diversity and feminism in the books. This type of discussion is, I think, how I gained most of my following, so I don’t want to turn my back on you. Also, in the near future, I mainly just want my blog to be a place where diverse representation across all identity vectors and forms of media, especially fantasy books, is a focus. I want people to feel they can talk earnestly about their issues with xyz representation and/or discuss diversity struggles they come across with their own writing.

I feel like the anti community stagnates periodically and we devolve into cold wars with stans, picking apart miniscule details of the books, scouring SJ/M’s social media, repeating ourselves, or other similar activities. Going forward I want to reduce the conversations that are founded in pettiness or insulting other Tumblr users or SJ/M for things that honestly have nothing to do with the books, the YA/publishing community, or problematic behavior. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things worth discussing re: problematic author/stan behavior, but it’s easy to lose sight of the reason for antis to exist in the first place. On to reasoning:

1. The connotation.

This is something many of you know about me as well, but it bears repeating: I never hated SJ/M’s books. My blog is a result of my passion and enjoyment of the earlier books twisted into disappointment. I wouldn’t have bothered making a blog about these books if I hated them from start to finish. I wouldn’t have made an “anti” account if I’d felt that my opinions would be accepted among stans. I felt there was a lack in both the anti and stan community for my experience, so I’m here to give voice to that. Although I started out talking about the negatives, I don’t think my blog has ever fit most people’s idea of “anti” on this site. There are a lot of truly toxic anti communities all over Tumblr who exist just to shit on creators and fans or to be negative out of spite, and I really have never identified with that desire, nor have I tried to exhibit that behavior. But thanks to worst of the worst on this site, anyone who calls themselves anti is automatically associated with that. I also think as a whole, every SJ/M anti is doing completely different stuff with their own blogs. We’ve got book cover criticism, opinions and advice about publishing, T0G rewrite projects, shitposts, etc. I myself started expanding months ago into providing writing advice on diversity and generally writing meta. It’s not a group of angry people yelling slurs at each other like I’ve seen other anti communities do, so I don’t think it’s the right label for me.

2. Stans.

This goes a bit with the connotation point. I feel like, especially because of how I’ve branded myself and because of antis who preceded the current batch, stans really have no idea what I’m about. I have always been clear that I do not wish to attack them or their enjoyment of/engagement with the books. And yet I’m constantly being vagued about, having my words twisted, or having my arguments and blogging style very purposely, transparently ignored/misinterpreted/ridiculed in said vague-blog posts. All this despite stans’ frequent claim that they ~never~ go into anti tags or check out our blogs, and despite their other frequent claim they don’t believe in the anti/stan divide and that we’re more alike than not. I agree that this divide is dumb, but it’s kind of hard to distance myself from it while constantly being thrown under the bus by SJ/M BNFs. I don’t mind anyone viewing or interacting with my posts, because transparency and all, but it’s tiresome to constantly defend myself because I’m being misrepresented by accounts that are 4, 5, 6 times bigger than mine who either don’t know how I run my blog or purposely mischaracterize me. I can’t control other people’s behavior and I don’t want to, but this is a change I’m making for my own mental health and to promote better behavior among both communities, and I hope others follow suit.

3. Things I’ve handled poorly and how I want to do better.

Anyone with an ask blog for a minute inevitably acquires their share of public fuck-ups. I can think of a few instances in which I would have handled a situation differently. For example, a few months ago the community as a whole was asked to expand our conversation to more than just presenting SJ/M and Bardugo as foils, and I wish I’d been less defensive there. That day made me think a lot about the way I carry myself on this blog and how limited the conversation can sometimes be. I really do appreciate any and all criticism for the community, and looking back, I feel like my reaction to that didn’t go along with the way I usually try to handle criticism. I think it would be good to try and, like OP said, infuse more book promotion into my blog in general, to try to support and read more books by marginalized authors in the future so we can discuss them more thoroughly here.

In closing/TL;DR:

This isn’t inspired by any particular event or person, but rather a lot of things that have happened in the past several months on Tumblr, in the world and the media, and in my personal life. It’s not a change that was inspired out of negativity, but more out of trying to generate a more positive framework for my Tumblr activity and seeing how I can effect change through this blog. I’m still here for rants, masterposts calling out problematic books and characters, pretty much all the book talk I was doing before. This is just a really long-winded announcement that I want to expand my blog to a general spot for discussing diversity in media. Thank you so much for sticking it out if you made it all the way down here. Here’s to improving ourselves.

[springbudeyes]

The tone of this post doesn’t feel right. I don’t know if I’m capable of writing something that sounds like a genuine apology, but please try to read it that way if you want to believe it.

One of the worst things about making poor decisions is that their effects will spread forever. I might never be able to apologize to all the people I’ve hurt and I’ll certainly never be able to heal all of the hurt I’ve caused. I’ve lost count of the apologies I’ve given and the ones I’ve yet to give. If anyone who remembers the way I acted in the Mianite days wants an apology from me personally, please seek it out, or at least try and take this message to heart. I don’t want to keep bad relationships with anyone. On the other hand, I don’t expect everything to work itself out. I realize there are some things we have to let go. I finally apologized to X33N a few months back, but I still haven’t done it properly. The way we ended our Mianite days wasn’t good. I was envious of him moving into the streaming world and threw some bitter darts thinly disguised as advice. From the bottom of my heart, I’m so happy for him and so glad that he’s been able to get the message of positivity out there through his streams. There were other conflicts in the Season Two team that have become known to the community. I’m sorry that I didn’t bring myself to love my teammates better as we did our work. I’ve always struggled with impulse control, sensitivity, and self-esteem. Cutting people off, using them for what they have to offer, and inflicting pain through words are all things I’m tempted to do when I feel like I’ve been betrayed, deserve better, and deserve to make someone else feel my pain. My late teens and twenties have been marked by incident after incident in which I realize that I haven’t mentally equipped myself for what life is gonna throw at me.  Now I’m in a place where a good number of people might never accept anything I do in the future because of things I’ve done in the past.  Admittedly, I’ve forgotten a number of those things. While I’ve tried to resolve many of the issues I do remember, a few in particular could use another look. Some of the choices I made in the writing of the Mianite series and its after-lore were awful.  The way I played pre-Krys Martha was weirdly lascivious and I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea. I don’t recall my reasoning for it, aside from tasteless fun, but it doesn’t sit well with me anymore and that’s not how I want anyone to see Martha. As I’ve said countless times, I’m grateful that Krys took control. As a note, I would never suggest that the characters I played were somehow more important than the ones played by the rest of the cast. Krys, X33N, MadSpy, Ral, and others played amazing, heartfelt, and widely loved characters. A lot of what they did was either loosely connected with stuff I was doing or totally free rein. They – not I – made Season Two come to life. It would’ve been a dreary and skeletal tale with no NPC’s apart from the handful I controlled. Back in the vein of bad taste, the Ianite tree story had some sexual themes and I regret a few of the descriptions. They weren’t necessary for the portrayal of Ianite’s wanderlust and lovesickness. Someone thought that my line about the diameter of the tree increasing with age was an innuendo, and I can see what they mean but it actually wasn’t meant to be one. I’m sorry if that worsened their impression of an already flawed story. Andor should never have gone back to my brain at the end of the Clear Sky Hermit. I should’ve left it open-ended. I don’t think that was a huge issue for a lot of people as much as it was boring and predictable, but nonetheless, it’s something I regret. If I haven’t addressed the Andor fan art and fan fiction issue enough, here’s another stab at it. When people were making certain interpretations of Andor, I was upset about Mianite winding down, my spotlight narrowing, and my control over that amazing universe diminishing. I took it out on the beautiful creations of beautiful people, and that’s one of the things I might never be able to forgive myself for. I hope that anyone who was hurt by my attacks has either been able to read my previous apologies or find healing of some other kind. Within bounds of legality and acceptability, anyone can make any interpretation of any character they want. If I ever try to go against that statement again, please smack the living daylights out of me.  This isn’t an apology – just an explanation – but my interest in Sparklez was purely a narrative one. He interacted well with my NPC’s. I had never watched his content before Mianite and I rarely watched it afterward. I never developed any kind of obsession with Sparklez. The behaviors of Andor and Ianite weren’t expressions of any such obsession. I’ve said some things outside of Mianite that need resolving too. I never tried to convince anyone that incest was okay and I certainly never tried to suggest that it was “on the same level as homosexuality.” I can’t find the old posts, but all I meant to say was that in fiction, and ONLY in fiction, a very shallow exploration of something like genetic sexual attraction might be okay. It’s a thing that can happen to people who lose contact with a family member, remove the association of family from that person, suddenly see them again, and experience strange feelings. Even in fiction, I never want to read about such feelings acted upon in any way, shape, or form and I’ve never written about such feelings being acted upon. I’m not interested in incest in fiction or in real life. If you’re gonna read or write incest, don’t let it leak into real life, don’t show it to me, don’t show it to other people who shouldn’t see it, and stay healthy. That’s all. Case closed. As for “on the same level as homosexuality,” no. Just no. I’m pretty sure I was trying to draw some kind of strange parallel between the way my bigoted father viewed gay people and the way some people viewed FICTIONAL incest, but thinking back on it, I can’t imagine how a single word of what I said made sense, and if I said anything more than what I remember, I wholeheartedly throw it in the trash. It was ridiculous. I’m sorry. That was one of those cases when I wrote something and awhile later looked back and said, “Wait, what? I don’t even know what I was trying to say there and I certainly don’t believe it. I think I just wanted to assert myself.” I don’t support Notch’s political views and I agree with the removal of his name from the Minecraft credits, but I do thank him for what he’s done, wish the best for him generally, and hope he lets a little more love into his heart. I don’t wish him dead. I’m not apologizing for that, lol. The past two years hanging out in a subsect of the old Mianite fandom have given me a lot of healing. One of the big things I’ve taken away from that group is that forgiveness is astonishing. I could never have believed that anyone would accept me so fully in spite of such flaws. It’s made me want to extend the same kindness to others. I don’t think I’m very good at being kind.  If you’re reading this and still have some beef with me, I just want you to know that I love you a lot and will continue to do my best to be the type of person you would accept an apology from. If you can’t meet me in that place or don’t think I can meet you there, I’ll understand. People have their own journeys and need to keep themselves safe.  Again, I’m really sorry. 

[autorobotcollectorx]

Another Furby Fandom Issue

Hey everyone i want to address a few things and i have been holding out on doing this because i am just so sick of this hate and drama against me.I am going to discuss some personal happenings in my life since i don’t think there is any other way of defending myself unless i am %100 truthful on why these things happen.I’m going to address my sales first then the harassment.

TRIGGER WARNING : Talk about suicidal feelings and actions(no gory detail but implied) Mental Health,Child Abuse Neglect,Depression,Sexual abuse.

I am selling some furbies and at good prices at that because i want people who can’t afford furbies to have a chance of owning some.I have explained to people or atleast tried to explain why shipments are late or photos are as well.Here are some answers to questions and concerns people might have had. 

Why is my shipment taking so long? Sometimes i ship next day and sometimes i cannot.This is due to my lack of mobility since i am not able to drive i don’t have a say in what time of day i do go out and by then the post office is closed.I also can’t spare the money to use uber because i don’t have a job and am unable to work. My fiance comes to see me everyday but he usually gets off at 8:00pm and by then all the post offices are closed.So usually we set up a day i can go out and ship the items.Please don’t forget about my shipping days i have no problem discussing that with you.A few people who also had delays were due to me being hospitalized(I made up other excuses because i did not want to put emotional baggage on these people)These amazing people were very kind to me and got their furbies shipped to then when i could.Due to my living conditions i get very depressed and yes suicidal and i had hurt myself that time pretty badly.I hurt myself allot in non physical ways but that time was different and i am driven to such feelings often.

There was also a problem i got with one of my costumers when he sent a payment and i was getting so many payments for furbies that i did not notice his until a week later when he contacted me asking if i had sent the furby yet.It really got me anxious that something like that slipped by me and i hope he has no hard feelings for that.Things like this also happen because allot does slip my mind when i am under allot of stress.

Does My Furby Work?Is It In Good Condition? If this question crosses your mind please ask for me to test the furby and to take outdoor photos i have no issue doing that.Please never be afraid to ask for a refund if the furby you got is not what you wanted upon arrival.No one has contacted me after but it seems like a person was not pleased with the quality of a furby they got from me?Yet they NEVER contacted me again so i assumed the transaction was a success.You have to remember furbies are over twenty years old and unless they are fresh out of the box most will not be in mint condition that is out of my control.The furby i sold i had named Dusty and was bought from a smokers home i just had not got around to washing him.

I Don’t Feel Comfortable Buying Using Friends And Family!! If this is the case please state that up front i have no issue taking payments threw goods and services.I have been scolded for it and now i am not accepting payments unless its threw goods and services from now on i did not realize i was causing an issue and i am sorry if i made anyone feel uneasy.I had paypal accounts in the past where the money was held for two weeks not even using ebay and this happened.I try to get furbs out to people as soon as i can and i sometimes worry that i will upset someone.

You Lie About What You Use The Money For This is the furthest from the truth!I have needed money for several different things at different times like everyone who makes money will do.Once i had it that i needed money for a con and why should that be a bad thing?I hardly go anywhere and cons don’t happen often for me.I am allowed to treat myself sometimes its none of you’re concern if i use my money to get a furby or a coffee even though most of my money goes to getting food for me and my animals.

I’m sorry if i have cause any issues to anyone nothing i have done was to spite anyone,anger anyone or to scam people.

IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING TO ADD PLEASE PM ME AND I WILL ADDRESS IT!!

You REALLY wanna know why i need the money?!

Currently i am trying to save $500 or more to get out of a household that is toxic for me.Thats not much money to many but i am solely selling furbies because i have ran out of personal items that have value to sell.My living environment is currently living in a small room with hardly any space little to no air conditioning and called a slob because i am unable to clean the mess my parakeets make.They don’t have a vacuum and my parakeets eat these small seeds that when they fly around their cage the husks of the shells fly out of the cage and onto the carpet.This room is also full of my grandmothers items because they are hoarders (in their own words).As well as all the drama causing me to be so depressed that i have had no motivation to clean.I am misgendered on a daily basis and told “Oh but you are too pretty to be a boy” and more inappropriately comments on my female chest and body.Told to shave and how much better i would look as a girl.As well as told i am fat because i have stretch marks and how i need to eat less.I have PCOS and since i have lived here i have lost over fifty pounds because i usually (If i am lucky) eat once a day or twice.Things such as an avacado and a noodle pack.Thats why i am so stressed on money that and i need to keep my animals fed and healthy usually putting them before myself.

Since i have been living here my family has stolen $400 i made by selling an aibo that was special to me,my phone was stolen and one of my most therapeutic pets was taken,I was then told i killed him and gas lighted for about a month in a half about what i had done even though in reality my mother had stolen him from me.She was upset because i had made some friends and was out at the park with them.It was easy because i have no lock on my door or privacy.I ended up stealing him back and i had the cops called on me.My narcissistic mother and abusive step dad came over to defend my mom saying i stole their animal and since i was ftm the cops (which i already had issues with before because of my identity) had me hand over my snake and taken to a mental hospital.While demanding i hand my snake to my mom i started to cry and shake my snake was VERY underweight and sick looking and i was afraid for his safety.When my step dad saw me crying he started laughing at me loudly then whispered to my mother who was smiling over at me as well and saying out loud “I love you” to me.When i was trying to explain more to the cop he said “If you don’t give them back their snake i will arrest you” while he put his hand on his belt near the gun.(if you want to hear the story in more detail i can send you a link)

I have always been told since i was a child that i am an issue and that i am taking up space,now i am an adult and i am always made to feel like i  am not welcomed anywhere i live and that i need to leave or will be kicked out.This is currently the case where i live and again i feel like i am a burden on everyone i associate with.If i am kicked out now i would have to live with a “friend” of mines again and have no choice but to let him use me again.This first time this happened when i was nineteen he was forty eight and had no wheres to go and i had no other option other then to go to him or rid myself so i wont cause anymore inconvenience.I come from a broken family and narcissistic parents so being an outcast is nothing i am not use to but still makes me want to hurt myself and hate myself more.I was always the black sheep,escape goat and nothing i did was good enough or mattered to my mother.The reason i am unable to drive is because of the physical abuse i faced as a child and denial of medical care after the fact.I just want to fit in and for people to like me.

Not to mention i have childhood schizophrenia and sometimes don’t respond correctly to people or situations. 

I just wish i felt welcomed in a community for once.All i have going for me right now that helps me is the furby and furry fandom.Furbies make me calm and feel safe because they remind me of my childhood before my mother changed and before i lived with my abusive step dad.I know i may seem childish but i’m not sure what to tell you i am the way i am because of my upbringing and sometimes doing silly things,using ^^,uwu,ect collecting and carrying a furby with me when i am in public makes me just feel a little bit more okay.Just feels like everyone is working against me and wants me gone like everyone else has.

Please if anything please stop sending me asks such as “Please leave you are so toxic” “just reported you~” and others calling me an idiot,stupid,scammer,ect.This is not what i joined the fandom for and you should really be shamed for treating me like this over simple mistakes that i did not even mean to make.Can everyone just please leave me alone if you have nothing nice to say keep it to yourself.

I HATE that i have to talk about all of this but i just want to get away from my family and i wanted to start a new life offline and online with people who like the same things i do because i have never had that kind of acceptance in a community in my life.I want to be with my fiance and safe from myself and my family.I want to be a good person and be here for people and treat people right.Funny thing the things i have said are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my abuse and neglect i rather not spill everything.

I am sick of defending myself at every turn here is what happened if you missed it. https://autorobotcollectorx.tumblr.com/post/186489467324/i-saw-the-post-reblogged-from-autorobotcollectorx

Again PM me if you have a complaint instead of re-blogging this and causing me further stress i really can’t handle more right now. I might as well sell all my furbies and rid myself at thispoint.

Edit: 5am and still awake..well guess i wont be sleeping tonight either.I slept good last night but the night before i did not sleep either.I’m just a restless hungry mess.

[marvellouslymadmim]

hmm... .... ... ... HICSQUEAK IS DEAD TOO AND STARBROOM SUCKS

Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it up there, hoss.

You’re joking, right? This is just a bit of snark, correct? I really hope so. 

[EDITED TO ADD: You were joking and being snarky, for really awesome reasons. I am going to keep the rest of my response because I do feel like it’s something that certain people *cough cough haters cough cough* do need to read and remember. Also I’m really glad bc I was wondering who could ever hate on Starbroom.]

Just in case anyone else misconstrues my feelings on the matter, based on previous posts: One thing we’re not gonna do is switch from defense to offense.

It is 100% valid to feel that your ship is the best.

It is 100% valid to defend your ship against attacks.

It is 100% Super Not Cool Bro to attack other ships.

Also, for the record: I don’t reply to the Hackle hate anon(s) because I believe that Hackle actually needs to be defended (the ship stands on its own merits and will continue to do so, with or without my piss and vinegar tactics) or because I want to invalidate other ships (I’m a multishipper so…I kinda wanna fight you over Starbroom).

It’s a simple tank tactic. If I engage the haters and keep their attention in this corner, there’s a greater chance they’ll leave the others alone. 

Because the Hackle fandom is such an amazing party. We have headcanon clerics and world-building wizards (witches) and kind fluffy healers and the occasional angsty ranger. These people are wonderful. They create art and bring inspiration to so many corners of this fandom. I, being a small creature composed mainly of spite, zero chill, and a cockroach-like ability to survive and thrive, can take on the role of tank. If you have a strength, you should play to it, for the betterment of the community. So I try to do just that. Because this anon has so much fuel to burn, and I can take the heat, hopefully containing it to a smaller, less destructive space.

Please understand that I am not trying to romanticize my responses into something heroic or noble. There is no good in what I do. But like Jaime Lannister, I am what I am and I accept that (Self awareness? Check. Self control?…Self control? *marks absent for the 57th day in a row*).  And it boils my blood to think that some of these people, who I hold quite dear, have to feel a wash of unease and anxiety every single time they get an ask notification. Some have even had to shut down their anon messaging feature, which keeps other genuine fans from leaving sweet commentary on their work. I would never wish that on anyone REGARDLESS of their ship or even how they feel about mine.

And if by sheer dumb luck the hackle hate anon is reading this, consider it your gilded invitation: come at me, bro. For whatever reason this thing upsets you, and you need to get that frustration out because it seems like we can’t see what you see–and that’s OK. Just come here, with someone who will gladly meet you measure for measure. If you wanna fight, I have so much here for you. I’ll give you all the recognition you crave, and then you can be on your merry way. 

Hiqsqueak, like Hackle, is alive and well and for the most part happily inhabited by fans who have learned to carve their own world out of a disastrous canon. 

Starbroom is my ultimate BROTP but I do like to sometimes visit a world where they’re absolutely fucking. 

Basically I stan one VERY SAPPHIC goth marshmallow and defend her right to have all the sex with all the ladies, however the spirit moves her.

[fyrapartnersearch]

A chance meeting.


Greetings to you again my fellow drifters and roleplayers ～ I hope to catch some flies with some honey. I would like to post my ad once more with a more specific request / intent in mind. You may call me Aylo. I am specifically searching for partners who sport the same interests, passion and dedication as me. Regarding myself I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you wish to know more about me, feel free to ask me through email. Age: 20+ years Gender: Female Occupation: Full time student with a side job Timezone: CET 
Experience: 11 years If you wish to get in touch with me, here’s my email for contact :)

EMAIL: aylosreverie@gmail.com

What I’m looking for in a partner: If you write to me, tell me about yourself, particularise what you would like to do, where your interests lie in and how far you will go limit-wise. To be clear, I will accept 20+ partners only! I am sure there are roleplayers below that age who are wonderful writers, however due to legality issues and the age difference, it would feel awkward… Sorry ;__;


This will be a mature themed RP and that means it will include very heavy topics that may not be for the faint of heart. So be sure to read every word carefully before you message me, because these kinds of misunderstandings can be easily avoided. I am currently on the hunt for a literate, erudite and witty writer with a creative mindset who can cross the line with me. I don’t care what gender you are or what your timezone is, as long as we correspond well, we should be fine.

Also to note, I am looking for a longterm and dependable partner. If you are not sure if you can fulfil either of these, feel free to scroll past my ad! It won’t be held it against you ^^
 Platforms I prefer to write on are: 

Email and Google Docs. I try to get myself a Discord as soon as I get a new PC. How to I write, my limits and preferences. Be sure to read them carefully:

Cravings: What I crave at the most, almost always, is the topic of supernatural and urban fantasy. Though I can be persuaded to go more into pop culture (like superheroes or crime). Personally what I would like go for is an original story or anything fandom related that I have listed down below. If you are not sure which I am open to do at the moment, feel free to scroll down and see for yourself if we’re compatible or not. Although I am versatile when it comes to genres, I am only currently seeking someone who would rather do something more supernatural inspired, including demons, spirits, monsters, gods and angels. I do have a few ideas in my repertoires that I would like to pitch, but I prefer to talking to my partner first before setting anything in stone. Interests: My line of interests are very electric when it comes to genres. I love conceiving my own lore inside a stories, be it an original or a pre-existing story. Gothic fantasy among others are one of my favourites. I am not opposed to tapping into science fiction, conspiracies, intrigue, action, romance, crime, action or thriller genres, in fact I encourage it. Inspirations for me are Lovecraft, The Tudors, Gotham, Hellsing, Blade, Underworld, etc. As for the fandom inspired RPs, I am more than willing to bend some rules and be a little indulgent. Writing: 3rd person perspective. My writing is expansive and flexible, which means that frequently, word count will go up 1000+ per reply - though it highly depends on the situation and partner I write with. Quality over quantity as they say - but why not both? I love detail in description, and I am actively seeking someone of the same infamy. My partner should have a basic grasp on grammar, punctuation and somewhat of an interest in knowledgeable writing. I also double! (preferably, but we can always discuss whether it makes sense for our roleplay our not.) When I double, mostly I would like to do it in fandom roleplays. Originals are a different matter. World building & plot: You should be active and help me shape the world around our characters. Even if we discuss many things during and before the roleplay, how we wish for things to play out and take its course, I am always happy to be surprised with a secret of my partner’s character I didn’t know before. You don’t need to lay out all your cards on the table… keep it a little mysterious and suspenseful. Just enough so we can work with the ideas, but not completely kill off the suspense.

Characters: I write canon as well as OC characters. Faceclaims, GIFs, drawings, mood boards or just a plain physical description is absolutely sufficient. Whatever floats your boat when it comes to visualising your character and their backstory, I’m on board. Characters should be flawed, unique, talented, heroic, villainous, spiteful, angry, and everything in-between. In other words, don’t be scared of making them ‘human’, even when they are non-human. Romance: Openly play and accept characters of both genders, preferable m x f pairings, but I am open to m x m and f x f relationships as well. I have more experience with m x f relationships, so I might be more savvy in this one. If the chemistry of two characters compel me, I will ship them no matter what! Classic fangirl shipper here! Ayo, where my shippers at? 
When it comes to sexual scenarios and intimacy (intercourse, foreplay, all that jazz) I will not fade to black. I encourage erotism, but in a tasteful manner (that goes for romance as well). The passion must be felt through the screen, even if its just an description of someone’s deep train of thought. Content: Drama, violence, sex, metamorphosis, horror, symbolism, action, romance, pretty much everything is a-okay. I am unbothered by certain subjects that may or may not be uncomfortable for the general public. Roleplays are fictional stories and we best keep viewing them as such. If there are things you are uncomfortable with, name them and I shall respect those boundaries. But don’t be surprised when suddenly one of our characters bites the dust, or gets tortured. It may be difficult to write and read, but it is all part of the story and furthering the plot. My roleplays imply and involve brutality, mayhem, psychological and physical torture as well as other things. But I also endorse beauty, serenity and placid moments, scenes or characters. I love it when it comes full circle… everyone- and everything has their beautiful and hideous side. Both should be embraced. Communication: OOC-chat friendly! I love meeting new people and making potential friends. Plus it strengthens the compatibility between us. Communication is the alpha and the omega. If there is something that bothers you, or if you think you are left out in some way (be it a mistake on my part or we’re both at fault here), don’t be scared of telling me. Really, it won’t be taken personally - since I know that we slip up every now and then, we’re only human after all. It is also completely sufficient if you only type out a few messages per week. I am super chill about it. It doesn’t bother me re-writing a scene to fit the narrative more. If there are mistakes, they can be corrected - just to get that out there. We can always exchange opinions and see what would benefit the story most. I will also voice my opinion should something arise that could be bothersome. World building & plotting: An active roleplayer is wanted without a doubt. Can’t do the thinking for two now. Let’s row this boat together Limits: My only limits are pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia , pedophilia, scat, furries and some other bizarre fetishes. Also no one-liners or text-talk messages. The sentences have to be cohesive, coherent and somewhat structured. On my shipping list, the ones that are marked in bold are the ones I am craving at the most right now!


Shipping list:

Corrupted x Innocent

Demon x Human

Devil x Human

Cop x Criminal

Bully x Bullied

Bad boy (delinquent) x Good girl (or the other way around)

Mentor x Apprentice

Angel x Human

Angel x Demon

Vampire x Human


Bureaucrat x Soldier

Scientist / Doctor x Patient / Experiment

Vampire x Vampire

Vampire x Dhampire

Noble x Peasant / Regular citizen

Vampire x Werewolf

Werewolf x Human

Monster x Human

Hybrid x Hybrid

Hybrid x Human

Hybrid x Full fledged (whatever it may be)

Dominant male x Dominant female (or other genders)

Etc.


Fandom list:


Films:

Marvel cinematic universe

DC (preferably the comics or animated films / shows)

Alita Battle Angel
Riverdale

Harry Potter (Next gen)


Animated:


Castlevania

Hellsing

Voltron

Fate Stay Night / Fate Zero


Comics:


Justice League (also Dark)


Teen Titans

The Darkness

Witchblade

Loki - Tales of Asgard

X Men



Looking forward to talking to you ～ Adios

[lolcat76]

WWSRD, Sharon Raydor, and a fangirl’s thoughts.

I just finished #WWSRD and I have a lot of thoughts, so bear with me. Or ignore me. Either is fine.

First, I totally understand Mary’s frustration with the fans’ reactions across the board, and now I feel bad for making her feel bad, because I know just how lucky we are to have someone who is so invested in her art and her fans to care about what we think. I am so grateful for WWSRD to give me a chance to breathe, understand the process of creating this character every week, and see the show from the perspective of the actor who lived the character, which is such a gift for someone like me who craves that insight into character development.

I also understand Mary’s protectiveness of the show and cast and crew, and I feel even worse that our outpouring of grief and rage diminishes what they’ve accomplished over the last 13 years. The two are not related, especially in terms of cast and crew. Everyone from the directors to the actors to the tape loggers and PAs have done a wonderful job with this show. Take a bow and please accept my gratitude for a job very well done.

As you all know, I write a lot of fanfic, but I also do graphic design and corporate communications for my day job, and in those instances, when the point I’m trying to get across falls flat or someone just doesn’t like my design, my first thought is, “Well, you’re an idiot.” (And usually my second and third thoughts as well.) (Mary is a lot more diplomatic than I am.) It’s never easy to hear that someone’s reaction to something you put your heart and soul into is that it sucks and they hate it. It doesn’t, however, mean that the work isn’t valid. It’s just not necessarily being read the way it’s written, and that’s a fact of life every creator of content has to accept.

There’s a big difference between creating content and consuming content. Once a piece is created, the creator has to relinquish control over how it’s consumed, because no two members of the audience internalize art or fiction or television in the same way. That’s the whole reason we have fandom wars on this godforsaken site. Not only that, but what is satisfying for a writer or an actor is very often vastly different than what is satisfying for the audience. I can and do support Mary’s playing Sharon’s end, acknowledging it as a valid creative plot point, and loving the choices that she made – and I’m also very grateful that this podcast helps me understand those choices – and still, I’m just so heartbroken about Sharon’s death. The first is because I have enormous respect for the actor and the writers and the creative process and, the second is because I’m a fan of the actor and the writers and creative process, and sometimes those two things just don’t mesh well together, because the audience isn’t in the same place in the creative process. We didn’t have several months to process this. We had a few weeks, and I’m not speaking for anyone else, but those few weeks were pretty sucky for me.

I think anyone who cares about their job – whether it be in the entertainment industry, or accounting, or making fancy lattes – wants to do it well and wants to be challenged, and for an actor, there’s no bigger challenge than trying to portray something as difficult and emotional as a death and do it justice. The disconnect here I think is that while Mary did a beautiful job with Sharon’s last two episodes, the fans were not ready for her story to end. I’m sure the general audience watched it and thought, “Oh, that’s sad,” and went about their business, but for those of us who are probably way too emotionally attached to the character, it’s hard to separate the craft and care that went into shooting those scenes from the gut-wrenching reaction we had to watching them. My anger at what happened to Sharon has pretty much zero to do with the cast and crew, who have been phenomenal, and everything to do with my own life. That’s on me, and it’s not a reflection of the work in general, but that’s the point of art – it does touch people, and you just can’t control HOW it’s going to touch them. To quote one of my favorite inappropriate songs from the ’90s, sometimes it’s a bad touch, and that’s where I am right now.

I will say, because it’s my blog and I can be salty if I want, that I don’t think the writing or editing clarified  Mary’s analysis of Sharon’s thought processes, and I wish it had. If it had, I don’t think we’d have had the visceral reaction that Sharon put herself directly in harm’s way. Having listened to WWSRD, I can go back and rewatch those two episodes with an entirely different mindset on Sharon’s motivations and decisions, but without hearing Mary’s thoughts, some of the things she brought up were just not clear in the writing. Too many things were open to interpretation, and there were too many moments of foreshadowing in the scripts and in the editing that just made it look like Sharon was preparing to die. And, from a completely personal standpoint, that was incredibly hard to watch. From her not wanting to be a burden to going to ask for last rites, it seemed a lot less like taking control of her story and a lot more like surrendering to her fate, and it wasn’t a fate that I would choose. Mainly because to me, I’ve always been afraid that my death would be far more of a burden to my loved ones than my life is. Andy is going to have to pack up her clothes and her office. He’s going to have to sort through her finances and make sure her children are taken care of, and ensure that Rusty has the means to make it through law school. He’s going to have to live in the condo she decorated without her, and you guys, the thought of that makes me so sad I can barely stand it. The idea that it would have been easier for her children and Andy if Sharon had just died the first time she went into cardiac arrest…Nope. Nothing about death is easy, but death that comes with no warning is the hardest thing in the world to go through for the people who love you.

Being again true to form, I’m going to bring up my beloved Laura Roslin. She was introduced to us as a character who was dying, and the concept of being the Dying Leader was 100% part of who she was. Her death was awful, and I’m still not over it, but it was also beautiful and meaningful, and those last moments in the Raptor with Adama were very much the culmination of their story. Sharon’s death was…not that. Laura died with Bill, him showing her the beautiful endpoint of everything they’d worked for over the last several years. Sharon died on a gurney, surrounded by strangers, in the ER. Laura found love in spite of her impending death; Sharon died in spite of her happy life. One has poetry and meaning, and the other is just…well, I’m going to reiterate it. It was just cruel. To me, it is the complete opposite of dying doing what you love, and that waiting room scene is probably the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever watched, with her husband and son and the friends she’s come to love over the years kept out of the room, just waiting and hoping, only to be devastated by the doctor coming out to break the news.

As I said in our Fans React podcast, Sharon’s dead. She doesn’t care. Her children and her husband, though, have to figure out how to go on without her. That’s the hardest part of this – that as much as I love Sharon and grieve the loss of this kickass character, I also love the rest of the cast, and they’re going to have to soldier on without her. Watching the last four episodes knowing that they’re going to be in that kind of pain – a pain I think all of us who have lost loved ones understand – it’s hard. It’s really hard. I don’t really want to go through that kind of pain while watching a TV show that I use to escape, because it opens up a lot of things that I don’t even want to think about. Which, frankly, is why I like the “safe spaces” of television – it gives me a little break from dealing with the daily car fires of the real world.

And, to dovetail into Mary’s point about feeling grief, I hope we’re going to be able to do that in the last four episodes, because I need to grieve not only for this character that I love so much, but also for her husband and children and friends, but I’m afraid that we won’t. At its heart, Major Crimes is a crime procedural show. I know the funeral next week is going to probably knock me flat, but I’m also afraid that it will be much like the wedding – overly hyped and then three minutes at the beginning of the episode, and then BAM right into the next plot, and the next plot being the final plot that ties the two series together and omits the two female leads is just so, so disappointing.

The next four episodes will be about Stroh and his backstory and his coming after Rusty, and I know that’s a plot point that has been something like 10 years in the making, but I can’t switch gears that quickly. Nor do I want to, because my involvement with the show over the last several years has absolutely nothing to do with the cases and everything to do with the characters. I knew the Stroh story would have to come to an explosive close, but I never thought it would happen without Brenda or Sharon, and to have neither of them figure in to it just makes me wonder…what’s the point? I know that it’s Rusty’s story, but it’s just as much Sharon’s and even more Brenda’s, and to leave them both out at this point feels like a dismissal of the last 13 years, and to shove it into two nights…so frustrating.

Obviously, TNT has done a huge disservice to Major Crimes, The Closer, and even Duff in the last few years, but ramming the last several episodes into the space of a few weeks might be the worst thing they’ve done. We still have so much left to process, and trying to cram it in over a couple of nights is just really unfair to the fans.

I know life is hard. I bet you all know life is hard as well, or we’d all be out living life and wouldn’t be here on Tumblr obsessing over TV characters. I don’t need to watch TV to be reminded that life is hard, because I have to wake up every day to the dumpster fire that is American politics. I watch TV to escape the idea that life is hard.

(Temporary word-vomiting break to say that yes, HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIES ARE GOOD AND LEAD TO EVEN BETTER FANFIC PROMPTS.)

Now, going back to safe spaces. That phrase is fraught right now, because at the moment Tumblr is my safe space, and GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT THAT SAYS. To address Mary’s point about the safe space of TV recognizing the evil in the world and righting it, YES, that is one of the things about MC that I love – that these characters were so deeply flawed, and yet still so moral and ethical. Living in LA, I have to say that MC made me very sympathetic to the LAPD. Every time an old 90’s Crown Vic passes me on the 110 freeway, I think, aww, Provie and Andy still have their old shitty cars from the 90s, rather than panicking about whether or not I’m speeding on the freeway. (I’m never speeding on the freeway, because LA traffic sucks.) But, for a fan, a safe space is a totally different thing, and that’s the space where we have an hour each week to forget about all our worries. MC was that for me, and from this point on, it won’t be. And that, as much as Sharon Raydor, is the loss I’m grieving.

I wouldn’t be so torn up about it if MC had been a dark show from the start, but it wasn’t. Even the hardest episodes to watch – and there have been many – still had humor. There are so many episodes going back to The Closer that I watch again and again because in the midst of murder and chaos, the characters gave a breath of life into the stories. Even going back to the start of MC, with Rusty and Stroh, and Provenza and Sharon going head-to-head, I was so invested in how these interpersonal relationships were going to play out. I didn’t give a shit about the grocery store murderers in that first episode. I cared about how this cast of characters was going to come together, and through the first season they came together through a combination of wit, stubbornness, compassion and intelligence, and it’s those qualities that draw me to people in my own life.

Those characteristics also made me fall hard for Sharon. Most of the women my age on TV are moms who play secondary characters (two things that I’m not and don’t aspire to be), but Sharon Raydor was, from her introduction, a badass police captain who happened to be a mom and happened to be over the age of 40 and happened to be the unapologetic boss. She was important despite (and because of) being a mother and a woman over 40, and she wasn’t willing to be dismissed because she was a mother and a woman over 40. She was important because she was a high-ranking professional, completely at ease with being a woman in a male-dominated field and not afraid to tell men who outranked her to shut up and sit down, and to quote @dillydallyy, shove a feminist foot right up someone’s ass. I’ve worked in television and commercial real estate, both traditionally male-dominated fields, and being the only woman in a room full of men…that’s my life. Every damn day. And to see a woman, not just in the same position but in a leadership role, OMG. Yes, kick them in the ass with your feminist heels and stroll out of the room in your Armani suit.

This kind of character is so rare, especially on network TV and basic cable. I wish I had some statistics handy, but the reality is, it’s rare to find a show that features women in prominent leadership roles, and when we find them, yeah…we’re going to be pissed when they’re taken away. I’m pissed. I’M SO PISSED. I have very little representation to fall back on, especially since I’m a huge cheapskate and I ditched cable TV a year and a half ago.

Speaking of representation, I’d like to go off for about ten thousand words about Sharon Raydor and even Brenda Johnson as powerful role models cast as lead tv characters, the lack of women writers and directors in the media, and what it means to women like myself over the age of (cough) 40 to see a lead character in a highly-rated tv show, but…I just can’t. I’ve been living in a state of feminist rage for a long time now, but I will say that watching Sharon die killed off a little bit of myself that felt so hopeful, especially in a storyline that was so timely in portraying what a woman has to go through to be successful and recognized – or hell, even employed – in the world today. Again, not to pile on James Duff, but killing off the lead female character at the tail end of a story arc that kills off women…it really hurts. It may not have been his intention, but it was my perception as a woman who watches the show. And killing off the lead female character before delving into the last story arc that is going to be the culmination of several years of plot points…listen, I’m with Mary. I don’t like guns. I don’t like violence. I don’t watch this show to watch Sharon Raydor shoot a dirtbag between the eyes with a bb pellet (but HOT DAMN THAT WAS AWESOME), but I also don’t want to see the strong female lead drop dead from a deus ex machina plot point before the story reaches the crucial point that has been building for several seasons. For Sharon to be gone, that means the rest of the story will be told through the male gaze, and…you know, I’m trying to be respectful and trying to be on board with that, but it’s not what I, as a woman, hoped for. I didn’t need Sharon to go in guns a-blazing, but I did need her to be a part of the final chapter of this show and of this story that she was so heavily invested in, because otherwise, how is it not yet another example of the woman dying and the men living on to tell the story? Brenda first and Sharon second were so pivotal in putting Stroh in the crosshairs, and having both of them out of the story…it’s just another cop show with men outgunning men.

And finally, I will say, for the fans who love and live and breathe these characters, watching Sharon and Andy walk off hand-in-hand is exactly the ending that we wanted, because it means that, truly, Sharon Raydor lives on. In our imaginations, in our stories, in our funny banter back and forth while we argue on social media over whether Sharon drinks tea or coffee. Long after the writers and actors and crew members move on to other jobs, the fans will still be holding on to these characters. For Sharon to die, it kills a big part of what makes fandom so special, the part that takes these people we’ve known and loved for so long and lets us as fans breathe our own bits of life into them long after the network has shut them down. Holding on to that years after the show ends isn’t disrespecting the writers or the actors; doing that means that after TNT killed the show that we love, we can still believe that Sharon and Andy are out there, somewhere, solving crimes or cuddling on the couch or choosing new ballet artwork to hang in their condo. We can write it, we can joke about it, we can picture it so clearly. Killing Sharon killed that bit of infinity in the imagination that lingers after the show ends. I can, and have, and will rewatch the episodes that we have, but from a fan’s perspective, the idea that the character is never truly gone only exists when the character isn’t truly gone. Saying goodbye to Sharon as a character is about a thousand percent harder to saying goodbye to the show, because saying goodbye to Sharon as a character IS saying goodbye to the show. I’ll watch the next four episodes, but it’s going to be with a heavier heart than I ever imagined.

[nutsandlightningbolts]

♛

[ ♛ ] send me your url and i'll tell you the following; (No longer accepting)

my opinion on; @gottamuseemall​

character in general: There’s five of them here, so let me go through them all! Professor Juniper: I adore Aurea Juniper! Admittedly, I need to rewatch episodes in which she featured in the anime, but from what I remember of her, she’s really smart, as well as funny, caring, and absolutely dedicated to her work! She’s definitely not afraid to go out in the field to pursue her studies, and most certainly an authority that stands with the best of the pokemon professors!Alexa: She can sometimes be incredibly forgetful and absent-minded, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t good at what she does. She’s professional, adventurous, has a keen mind, and a kind heart! I love her relationship with her pokemon especially, and how close they’ve become in their travels with her, and how they help her in all aspects of her work! All in all, she’s a character I still love from the end of BW all the way through XY!Viola: Now this is a really fun character to watch! Viola may be the younger sister to Alexa, but she doesn’t let that overshadow her at all! She’s incredibly passionate about her work as both a photographer and a gym leader, and an expert in both fields! She’s spirited, hard-working, talented, charitable, and even a bit flirty (as we’ve seen in the battle chateau episode). I love her relationships with the other gym leaders, especially, but not limited to, her playful dynamic with Grant!Daisy: This is a character that’s taken me a very long time to warm up to. Initially, I didn’t care for her because, as a child, and since the main focus for her was on Misty’s relationship with her, I tended to side with Misty in her rather abrasive attitude towards her. That being said, portrayals both here and from past RPs in my old closed group have shown me that she is quite a bit deeper than she looks, and that she definitely would’ve had to work hard as the caretaker for three other sisters in the absence of their parents. It’s something I wish would have been addressed and portrayed more readily in the anime, but of course, we can only expect so much from the show. That being said, I respect her for being able to do what she has done, and I hope that she achieves her goals and dreams in spite of all the adversity she’s had to face.And my favourite for last, Mallow: I love her. She an adorable wild child with a great, enthusiastic personality and dreams that she strives for eagerly, even if it all doesn’t go to plan right away! She’s a born battler, and damn good at it too, even if she has to work at it a bit! She’s also a damn fine chef, and will only get better with practice! She’s so supportive and determined to make herself and those around her better; a kind heart with courage and the ability to bring it out in others! I hope she gets more focus and justice in the anime, and I loved how she was in the games, though I wish we could’ve seen even more of her!

how they play them: With Juniper, I love how you’re both motherly and quite adult with her! I adore how you have her look after the Unova kids that I see now and then! As well, you make her such a well rounded character, which the anime, regrettably, doesn’t allow us to see more of. Plus, I also love how you’re not afraid to have her be an adult with adult fears, adult perspectives and adult urges. Because sometimes, that’s something that can really be lacking from the fandom/community at times.You play Alexa with a dedication to keeping her character intact as a great reporter/writer, and I’m so happy for that! Even if she can be find herself being a bit goofy with her forgetfulness or quirkiness, it doesn’t undermine her, and you don’t make it a main feature of her. You make it a nuanced detail that brings her more depth, even if she does have a great deal of raw and practiced talent. It makes her an intriguing read whenever I see anything related to her on my dash, and I love the potential she has for so many interactions with others I see, including my Clemont!Sadly, I haven’t seen too many threads with Viola as of yet. That being said, the amount I’ve seen promises a fun, dynamic, and ultimately interesting character that I can only see growing more and more interesting. You keep to her jubilant and competitive spirit seen in the games and the show, and I am especially looking forward to seeing Grant attempt to climb her wall, if you get my meaning.This was mentioned a bit in the last part, but I didn’t really give Daisy much regard until I saw RP portrayals of her. The one I knew in my last RP group helped open my eyes to the potential and complexity of her character, and I’ve seen that deepened further here! I definitely appreciate the time and forethought you’ve put into her, keeping her flirty, if caring spirit alive, while showing that she really has grown up a lot from who she was thanks to her hard work in raising her sisters! You’ve made me love her all the more for it!Mallow’s is the one that I’m most enchanted by when it comes to your portrayal (and perhaps that’s partially biased due to my shipping goggles here), but I do really think you’ve dedicated a lot of time and love into making her into the vision that she appears as on your blog! Malow is every bit the spirited child of nature that she is in the show and games, and far more. You bring out her beauty, both without and within, and you make her shine as someone both growing, and who has grown into, her dreams and talents! When you write her, her voice rings through clearly to me, and it makes me adore her all the more!

the mun: DEEDEE! Admittedly, until recently, we hadn’t talked a whole lot, but I’ve been blessed to have been able to connect with you a lot more deeply as of late! You’ve been so kind as to let me be my real self when talking to you and you’ve trusted me in return, which in itself, warms my heart immensely! I want nothing but happiness and love for you and your life, and I hope that, even just through this small facet of your life, I can help contribute to it! You deserve so much and I hope those around you recognize and give it to you! You’re a pure talent when it comes to writing, regardless of the subject matter, and your proficiency with editing is second to none (I mean look at her icons and  her work in general!!) and I know you’ll accomplish anything you set your mind to! I only wish the best for you, and I’ll always only be a message away if you need anything of me!

do i;

follow them: Very much so!!!rp with them: Yes I do!!want to rp with them: Would love more, even!ship their character with mine: Definitely love Clemont and Mallow and I want to see all the potential these two unlock in one another! For the other four on your blog, I can see them all becoming great friends and confidantes (especially in Alexa and Clemont, and Viola and Clemont), and Clemont can continue to admire the scientific prowess of Professor Juniper!

what is my;

overall opinion: This blog is a treasure of characters that promise to grow in number and quality. Each character is loved and cared for by Deedee, and you should only expect the greatest quality from each and every one! They’re all deepened to the point where they seem like real people, and it makes your experience with each all the more emotional and exciting! I cannot recommend enough that you follow this wonderful person and all the characters they wield so expertly under her well-crafted writing and characterization!

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty.

[greenpaladinofnature-blog]

If i get someone instred in it I may make a Rebellion/Hitoshura blog

full details under cut but there are a few users I want to aviod...mostly for my own personal helth.

So me and Angelic got to talking last night about the DMC timeline and how it actually omitted the novels and was a cut page because the DMC timelien was supose to be up to intrepretation just like the ages of voltron characters and this was done to aviod discorse on rather or not the books were legit since the novels that take place after he parts ways with Lady in the end of 3 and before he meets trish in begining of 1 around the time after Lucias death in 2. (lucia being hintead art as another one of his first demon hunting partners the other his canon feancee’ Beryl but shit goes down part of the plotline and they break up its a plot thing SO NO SPOILERS you really want to read the novel if your a BIG DMC fan. it will give you a better insite into Dantes mindset around women.)

well the “offical guyde book” was the smae deal with the timeline it was a headcanon that got published when it should not have because canon was open to individual influince (being rather or not you read the novels.

artists do this to aviod having to go into information they consider to be irrelivant and or self explanitory just liek its self explanitory that all the paladins were Students at the Garrison (under their real names at one point in time) so ergo however you see the garrison should be refelcted in how old you see the paladins. this has not happened for the very reason there was not a DMC timeline ever supose to be published.

I did some digging it turns out the misprint of the Dropped page in the DMC Trade Paperback was only printed in about 500 copies and most are listed as “destoryed” meaingn with a rateing of 2 or lower “missing pages, water damage, ripped covers and basicly a very poor quality not even useful as a reader but more as parts to repair other copies. soem were even traded in and destoryed by publisher, But GET THIS again here “Indago books” was said to have copies of this book but the book was missing the holografic centerfold the offical one had that was YOU GUESSD IT a nodd to the novel in the fact it had a full color image of Dante and his original two partners! Lucia and Beyrl in the background.

so thanks to soem fake distribtuors there are a list of 800 FALSE copies on the market.

We wager that Tay who is a advid Anti Danshura (Dante/Hitoshura) along with one of her friends more than liekly has a fake but it should benoted the fake is MISSING the holografic centerfold that is present in all the originals.so voltron fandom; Fam dont worry you arent teh only peeps to fall for that shit. Trolls been using fakes to herass amd poke peple in other fandoms for years.

In fact I even saw the nutral ending loop endind bad ending in nocturne and yep I can confrim Naoki’s (the original name for the protagonist of nocturne) computer does get a total of 5 e-mails but only 3 are of importance One indicated the School he attending is a Combined Highschool Univrsity (not entirely uncommon japan since you have to take a test before getting into hicgschool) one is a e-birthday card form Chikai along with a “still not a date” type invite (halarious and I wish they translated these in the english version) that confirm that the protagonist is 20 years old and thelast one recived CONFIRMS the nutral ending is a TIME LOOP and he was dropped off before hte meeting to visit his “sick teacher”

Now another confirmation form teh creators Piunpoint dantes age at this time to be 25. this means its canon that HItoshura is only 5 years younger than Dante UNLESS you go with teh SMT alt True Demon ending where Hitoshura runs off with Raidou and Has never meet Dante.

In this timeline for nocturne it’s 100% possible for Hitoshura to not only be older than Dante by literaly hundreds of years, its possibel for him to be a force behind rebellions power and That got me thinking that would be an awsome muse to do but the DMC community is another brand of toxic in most instances so only if I get a dante instred will I try that boat.

clearly I would prefer Tay’s influince free because I have seen peopel liek her and relitivly have no desire to even roleplay around them they are very toxic in nature and constantly degrigating people around them to minipluate their “favs” its destructive abusive (in the miniplitive since) and assinine.

I have enough shit form this dusty person (who im not suprised they know, still have no fucking clue why dutsty is so hellbent on makeing me look liek shit thou bitch allredy reeks of entitlement of the kind that I get triggered by and do my best to aviod STAY IN YOUR FUCKIN LANE WHORE not liek im intentionaly gogint o send you requests anytime soon or at all for that matter let me have my fuckign corner and stay in yours.) I do not need her firends startign shit with me too. (and yes im wawre its been a while since you poked a contact of mine and I know who you shat on me to so thanks for beign an asshole to Lance mun. you do not want to know how I found out you were behind that crap but dusty with all due respect leave my firends alone and FUCK YOU!

bottom lien tay and her retard group (that really just need to make their gettoh asses private since they are rather agressivly exclusive anyway) If I get a dante or sparda that is game (and willign to accept that theespellweaveris indeed a posychotic troll still talking shit about me behind my back and needs to be ignored in that regard) I may make a Rebellion/Hitoshura Side blog... thou I honestly doubt I will find them on tumblr anymore given again “agressivly exclusive” nature of the “popluar BITCH” (I shoudnt even have to have deal with dusty because the misgendering was form an anonmious using friend of Evans who DID APOLIGZE for it to spite beter judgement telling them it wouldnt matter for shit and it didn’t because dusty was being an entitleasit WHORE again of the likes that use their trans status to hurt other people. in case they were wondering THAT IS WHY PEOPEL QUESTION RATHER YOUR REALLY TRANS)

So clerification Dantes timelien literaly has NOTHING to do with HItosrua’s age ratio to him since its canon in the verse where Dante is the one he meets that they are only 5 years apart. the other timeline being one where he sncounters Raidou instead and inherits time traveling powers thrugh his “Bound By Fate” relationship with the Devil Summoner.

Dusty DID recive their apoligy form the person who did misgender them and Evan agreeed with their friend that Dusty was not goign to accept it in for of continueing to attack her with their trans status whocxh is exactly what happened and I have had really really negitive esperinces with people like dusty who use their trans status to attack others before and would favor avioding users like DUSTY who use their trans status as a means to intimidate or hertass other users. gender nutral promouns used for dusty in light ofher raseing hell with Lovceismysword who contridicted the first gender dusty was refered to by evans friend since dusty themself said they were the oppsite gender. this act confirms that dusty was indeed using their trans status to intimidate and herass users.

Dusty if you are really trans you need to stop this shit where you use the fact your trans to attack people; that is why your prefrence is not being belived (also your mini bio did apprintly say at the time you prefer Male pronouns you cant not stick a correction in your rules to “test people” because your just insulting people who do not want to roleplay with you at that point because you create DRAMA and bitch about the very drama you created.

and I just know you guys are goign to see this bitch whine fuss and complaign so FUCK YOU anyway because you are more willign to listen to a kown CYBERBULLY than their victim so tryign to talk since into your lot is useless. just stay in your fuckign lanes and Tay you getto ass needs to stop pretendin to be a ex roleplay partner of mine. (ya we notice the icon change to Shiro and the claim  you made with it too. congrats you exposed your own ass because that “fact” was a HC between me and Vaguely relitive to one of our ploted verses.)

[lovingatsushi]

Oh, Lane, Lane, Lane… What a beautiful person, both in and out.

I still remember the first time we met; although I believe we did have some brief interactions in a big BSD server at one time previously, it was through a mutual friend or two that we were actually introduced, and from the very beginning, my impression of you was completely spectacular and I liked you a whole lot, though I likely never said it enough due to the fact that I was admittedly quite shy around you at that time, along with the fact that there was a small difference of opinion that we had that made me feel…that perhaps you didn’t like me so much — though that quickly turned out to be nothing more than my own paranoia, looking back at it now. lol

I think that is one of the things that I really like and admire about you; as someone who is very used to having the very uncomfortable and unpleasant interactions that all of us pro-shippers and pro-stanners face in a world filled to the brim with closed-minded antis and cruel people with hardened hearts, talking with you has always been, by contrast, very refreshing and soul-healing given your capacity to accept and love even the people who sometimes have a different viewpoint than you on things.

To me, your presence has always been and always be very comforting; I am a very insecure person, and many times I second-guess myself and beat myself up over things I really shouldn’t, and that has often led to me feeling awkward and even doubting my own welcome in the Fic Support Server we’re in together…but every time I have started feeling that way lately, you have been there to reassure me otherwise and make me feel wanted. You really have no idea how much you’ve helped me in the time we’ve been there, and how much you’ve saved me and made me cry happy tears every time you’ve showed interest in my words and even said you valued my thoughts and opinions and hope to hear me talk…

Out of everyone in the server, though I love you all each very much, you really are one of the people I feel bonded to the most and though I know you are insecure about speaking at times, you are also one of the people I love engaging with the most and also hope to hear from in turn. I really wish that I could properly express how much I adore you as my friend and how much I enjoy hearing all of your takes, but I think that even if I went on for another few thousand words, it still wouldn’t be enough and I would still be dissatisfied with what I’ve put down here and just keep droning on and on until you were bored to death with all I’ve given you to read. That’s a problem I always seem to have when it comes to things like this; that I don’t know how to communicate all of what’s in my heart without just going on forever, because try as I might, no matter how much I say or how I say it, I can’t help feeling that there aren’t enough words in any language anywhere to truly bring my feelings to life in front of you and make the people I love feel all of the love they deserve to feel.

Be that as it may, I’m certainly going to try and to hope and pray that somehow, someway, you’ll hear the sound of my heart pouring out all of my respect and admiration through the things I have to say. When you’re out there facing the hardships you face in fandom and in life, please just know that I am always here and supporting you to the best of my ability, my dear friend, for you mean the world to me, and every time someone says something hurtful to you or your tastes, I just want to erase it all and make it all right for you again, because you are amazing and all of your likes, your faves and your ships are, too.

Bless, my good sir, and may you always feel safe, secure, and happy in spite of whatever the world throws at you.

💌💌💌

“ It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living. ” - Tender Is The Night

Such a pretty quote, right? Well, that’s what I believe about Valentine’s Day, and the simple act of a smile can go a long way! With all this rhyming out of the way..

Happy Valentine’s Day, Lane!

It’s been an absolute blast getting to know you, and here’s to a long friendship, right? You’re one of the kindest and most enthusiastic people I know and (this is 100% giving away who i am ;0;) I’m really so glad you enjoy original characters as much as I do! It’s always a little inspiration boost whenever I talk to you, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

You’ve got such a wonderful heart and it really shines in everything you do. You’re a beautiful person, in your soul and wherever else beauty counts, and I truly wish you happiness wherever life may take you. You deserve all the joys in the world, from the small to the big, and you have my word that you’re never alone <3

All the best chocolates,

- Your Secretest Pal

💌💌💌

What do I say about Lane except that you’re awesome and a really swell dude 10/10 would befriend again. But seriously man I love having you around and I’m so glad always to meet another person who’s willing to ship even the strangest of rarepairs, and also like… fyokarma rights. I haven’t read much of your writing because we don’t often share ships, but of what I have read, I super love it and I think you’re really skilled and talented, and you have such a good grasp over your characters! I can’t wait to see what all you end up putting out, and I hope I’ll be able to read lots of it!

💌💌💌

What a lovely, lovely person you are! We don’t talk much, but whenever we do I can tell how kind and genuine you are and it’s always so nice to chat with you! We don’t share many ships but your writing is inspirational and you are such a dedicated hard-working person! Have a wonderful day!

[obsidianonslaught]

🌸💐🌴((You allowed me further Blake rambling so I extend the same courtesy to you for your fav if you wish to take it. lol

((This got long (I ramble a lot, I apologize), so I’m putting it under a cut~

🌸 = my roleplay petpeeve

I’m gonna preface this one that am very fortunate and grateful that I haven’t had problems like this on this blog–RPing Burton has been an overwhelmingly positive experience and I hope it stays that way for many years to come!

I think my number one petpeeve though is what seems to be an intense focus on NSFW topics for RP and for fic (by that I mean stuff of the sexual nature) and I guess sometimes an… “expectation” (?) to be okay with those kinds of advances or threads. And that it has to have sex to be “good”/”interesting?” People can certainly RP this and enjoy it all they want but this just isn’t something I’m interested in writing, tbh it kind of makes me uncomfortable and I wouldn’t want to participate in threads of that kind personally (especially not with this character).

I. Don’t say this to try to sound snooty, I just wish people in general were a little more respectful of each other’s boundaries and people could refrain from make assumptions that everyone’s necessarily okay/comfortable with stuff like this? Like, it shouldn’t be assumed that approaching for this kind of stuff or trying to force it on people’s characters is okay out of the blue, especially since we don’t always know age of the mun and muse. It just kind of creeps me out.

Also (this is more in general but I guess also applies to RP scenarios?) absolution of guilt and responsibility through things like “they had a rough childhood” or “they didn’t mean it,” the general “misunderstood” thing. Or in general trying to dismiss/downplay bad things a character has said or done. Rough childhood and all that can be a contributing or main reason to why a character does or says what they do, but it is not an excuse.

I like villain redemption/reformation a lot actually, (though I have to draw the line somewhere, like if we’re talking Fuzors, Alpha is a Very Bad Man and I honestly don’t think he will ever change even if he was given the  chance), but it has to be done correctly. There have to be consequences that the character realizes, there have to be reasons for them to change and the goal of the change shouldn’t be just to beg forgiveness for what they’ve done. And certainly a villain can become good, but it takes effort to be a good person, and they’re going to have to work for it and at it.

I try really hard not to excuse Burton from this stuff because he absolutely has done and said a lot of shitty things, and he’s got to think about it before/if he can really grow from those experiences. I will never make excuses for him, I will not try to shove all the bad things he’s done under the rug–those are things he’s going to have to live with, but they are potential building blocks for exploration and change. The way I write him post-series is different from the way I write him during-series, for a reason, because as a character, those things affect him. Of course he’s interacting with different people and is part of different scenarios, but at the end of it all, there’s different things going through his head. And I like to play with this metaphorically in my writing and also emphasizing things like mental anguish and self-realization of mistakes, flaws, shame, other emotions that help to define my understanding of the character and what he’s currently going through and where he is at his stages of development as a person–but also that I hope will help the reader.

I also like to explore and develop characters like him who don’t get much screen-time and who we don’t actually get that much information about (seriously, who is this guy, where did he come from, what does he want out of all this?–I don’t think questions like that ever get answered–he’s just sort of there and he’s a jerk). And while this leaves a lot of room for interpretation, it’s important to me that these characters can be freed a little from their narrow little archetype boxes, because very often they are only assigned a few dominant traits and become restricted to in the show. (This of course has it’s reasons, and as a side-character, it helps to make what time they have on the screen more consistent, makes what we do see of their personality really stand out in a support role, stuff like that). Burton is Burton is Burton, for example, but Burton will also always be more to me than what we saw of him in the show. But I realize I have to be really careful here–I don’t want my interpretations of the character and headcanons and writing and all that to erase the terrible things he’s done. Rather, I can use that as the starting point to further develop. (Also repeatedly writing a character that is barred from development and stays one-dimensional/stuck on a very narrow set of traits is boring.)

But back to the point!, sweeping stuff under the rug in general just bugs me a lot but this also applies to the RP realm. I’m not about to give him a free pass and it rubs me the wrong way when characters who have very clearly done bad things are treated as if they’ve never done anything wrong.

In short: there’s a difference between being able to appreciate a character (or something) in spite of their mistakes and be willing to talk about those mistakes and accept them, and then refusing to recognize the character’s faults at all.

💐 = my favorite part about the fandom

(This is gonna be specific to a section of the English-speaking part of the fandom bc I know very little about the Japanese community!)

Maybe silly, but when we were really active and would just joke around together? Like we had the shit posts/memes and the character twitter accounts, and we would just have a good laugh about things and the muses would poke each other/have interactions in addition to what was happening on the RP blogs. (Also I don’t mean this as a guilt trip thing/complaint on a “why don’t we do this any more” vibe. Just that they’re very fond memories for me and I have fun thinking about them still!)

Like omg does anyone else remember the streams when we’d just chill and watch movies and that kind of thing? And we would have the chat open and sometimes it wouldn’t just be like, us talking about the movie, but we’d also have our characters talking about the movie too. Or sometimes just out of the blue we’d do these on the fly (sometimes crack) RP things on Skype (I’ve… since moved myself entirely to Discord and haven’t used Skype at all bc it would just be so slow/behave so badly for me) and it was just a load of fun and laughing and I think some good inside jokes came out of that.

In general, I miss people a lot but I’ve no one to blame but myself for that since I feel like I’ve let myself fall out of touch somewhat. But I hope everyone’s doing okay and I love you all lots.

🌴= a favorite canon character in my fandom

*squeaks* Honestly I probably owe this character my life, not to seem over-dramatic? I watched Fuzors right after a particularly dark and hard time in my life when I was ready to end it all; my mental and physical health were very bad and I wasn’t sure at that point that anything would ever get better. Fuzors was one of the few things (thankfully, along with support from family and friends) that got me past that episode in my life and gave me something to smile about again. I watched it by myself and then watched it through again with my sister.

And oh jeez I hated Burton at first–I hated him so much I wanted to throw something at him whenever he would appear on screen, because he’s just so slimy and scary (not in a he’ll beat you up in a dark alley scary, but a he could steal your credit card info and your SSN and get away with it scary). I can’t remember exactly how/why the shift occurred. But it was a total 180.

There’s no particular justification for why I like him so much? (I mean Burton is my life lbr). He doesn’t really have all that much screen time, he’s a nasty person, his hair is a disaster (but I love it–overtime I’ve come to think it translates appropriately irl to something like a scene kid/punk rock style and honestly that’s cool as hell). I think it’s that over time I just built up a lot of personal thoughts and world building and character building for him and idk. He’s very, very special to me. I know he’s mostly uh, disliked as a character and that’s perfectly understandable, but he will always have a very special place in my heart. It’s like coming to know a person over time, I guess. There’s more depth to them, you discover things in an ocean you might not necessarily be able to see from the shore.

[fyrapartnersearch]

A fortuitous request.


Salutations to you my fellow hunters and roleplayers ～ This is the first time I post my request on a platform like this. I hope to catch some flies with some honey. You may call me Aylo. I am specifically searching for partners who sport the same interests, passion and dedication as me. I am very imaginative - I hope you are as well. Regarding myself I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you wish to know more about me, feel free to ask me through email. Age: 20+ years Gender: Female Occupation: Full time student with a side job Timezone: CET 
Experience: 11 years If you wish to get in touch with me, here’s my email for contact :) EMAIL: aylosreverie@gmail.com What I’m looking for in a partner: If you write to me, tell me about yourself, particularise what you would like to do, where your interests lie in and how far you will go limit-wise. To be clear, I will accept 20+ partners only! I am sure there are roleplayers below that age who are wonderful writers, however due to legality issues and the age difference, it would feel awkward… Sorry ;__;


This will be a mature themed RP and that means it will include very heavy topics that may not be for the faint of heart. So be sure to read every word carefully before you message me, because these kinds of misunderstandings can be easily avoided. I am currently on the hunt for a literate, erudite and witty writer with a creative mindset who can cross the line with me. I don’t care what gender you are or what your timezone is, as long as we correspond well, we should be fine.

Also to note, I am looking for a longterm and dependable partner. If you are not sure if you can fulfil either of these, feel free to scroll past my ad! It won’t be held it against you ^^
 Platforms I prefer to write on are: 

Email and Google Docs. I try to get myself a Discord as soon as I get a new PC! How to I write, my limits and preferences: Cravings: What I crave at the most, almost always, is the topic of supernatural and urban fantasy. Though I can be persuaded to go more into pop culture (like superheroes or crime). Personally what I would like go for is an original story or anything fandom related that I have listed down below. If you are not sure which I am open to do at the moment, feel free to scroll down and see for yourself if we’re compatible or not. Interests: My line of interests are very electric when it comes to genres. I love conceiving my own lore inside a stories, be it an original or a pre-existing story. Gothic fantasy among others are one of my favourites. I am not opposed to tapping into science fiction, action, romance, crime, action or thriller genres, in fact I encourage it. Inspirations for me are Lovecraft, Hellsing, Blade, Underworld, etc. As for the fandom inspired RPs, I am more than willing to bend some rules and be a little indulgent. Writing: 3rd person perspective. My writing is expansive and flexible, which means that frequently, word count will go up 1000+ per reply - though it highly depends on the situation and partner I write with. Quality over quantity as they say - but why not both? I love detail in description, and I am actively seeking someone of the same infamy. My partner should have a basic grasp on grammar, punctuation and somewhat of an interest in knowledgeable writing. I also double! (preferably, but we can always discuss whether it makes sense for our roleplay our not.) When I double, mostly I would like to do it in fandom roleplays. Originals are a different matter. World building & plot: You should be active and help me shape the world around our characters. Even if we discuss many things during and before the roleplay, how we wish for things to play out and take its course, I am always happy to be surprised with a secret of my partner’s character I didn’t know before. You don’t need to lay out all your cards on the table… keep it a little mysterious and suspenseful. Just enough so we can work with the ideas, but not completely kill off the suspense. Characters: I write canon as well as OC characters. Faceclaims, GIFs, drawings, mood boards or just a plain physical description is absolutely sufficient. Whatever floats your boat when it comes to visualising your character and their backstory, I’m on board. Characters should be flawed, unique, talented, heroic, villainous, spiteful, angry, and everything in-between. In other words, don’t be scared of making them ‘human’, even when they are non-human. Romance: Openly play and accept characters of both genders, preferable m x f pairings, but I am open to m x m and f x f relationships as well. I have more experience with m x f relationships, so I might be more savvy in this one. If the chemistry of two characters compel me, I will ship them no matter what! Classic fangirl shipper here! Ayo, where my shippers at? 
When it comes to sexual scenarios and intimacy (intercourse, foreplay, all that jazz) I will not fade to black. I encourage erotism, but in a tasteful manner (that goes for romance as well). The passion must be felt through the screen, even if its just an description of someone’s deep train of thought. Content: Drama, violence, sex, metamorphosis, symbolism, action, romance, pretty much everything is a-okay. I am unbothered by certain subjects that may or may not be uncomfortable for the general public. Roleplays are fictional stories and we best keep viewing them as such. If there are things you are uncomfortable with, name them and I shall respect those boundaries. But don’t be surprised when suddenly one of our characters bites the dust, or gets tortured. It may be difficult to write and read, but it is all part of the story and furthering the plot. My roleplays imply and involve brutality, mayhem, psychological and physical torture as well as other things. But I also endorse beauty, serenity and placid moments, scenes or characters. I love it when it comes full circle… everyone- and everything has their beautiful and hideous side. Both should be embraced. Communication: OOC-chat friendly! I love meeting new people and making potential friends. Plus it strengthens the compatibility between us. Communication is the alpha and the omega. If there is something that bothers you, or if you think you are left out in some way (be it a mistake on my part or we’re both at fault here), don’t be scared of telling me. Really, it won’t be taken personally - since I know that we slip up every now and then, we’re only human after all. It is also completely sufficient if you only type out a few messages per week. I am super chill about it. It doesn’t bother me re-writing a scene to fit the narrative more. If there are mistakes, they can be corrected - just to get that out there. We can always exchange opinions and see what would benefit the story most. I will also voice my opinion should something arise that could be bothersome. World building & plotting: An active roleplayer is wanted without a doubt. Can’t do the thinking for two now. Let’s row this boat together Limits: My only limits are pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia , pedophilia, scat, furries and some other bizarre fetishes. Also no one-liners or text-talk messages. The sentences have to be cohesive, coherent and somewhat structured.

On my shipping list, the ones that are marked in bold are the ones I am craving at the most right now! 
Shipping list:

Corrupted x Innocent Demon x Human Devil x Human Cop x Criminal Bully x Bullied Bad boy (delinquent) x Good girl (or the other way around) Warrior x Mage Mentor x Apprentice Angel x Human Angel x Demon Vampire x Human
 Vampire x Vampire Vampire x Dhampire Vampire x Werewolf Werewolf x Human Monster x Human Hybrid x Hybrid Hybrid x Human Hybrid x Full fledged (whatever it may be)
 Alien x Human Alien x Alien Dominant male x Dominant female (or other genders) Etc.


Fandom list: 


Films:

Marvel cinematic universe

DC (preferably the comics or animated films / shows)

Alita Battle Angel
Riverdale

Harry Potter (Next gen)


Animated:


Castlevania

Hellsing

Voltron

Fate Stay Night / Fate Zero


Comics:


Justice League (also Dark)


Teen Titans

The Darkness

Witchblade

Loki - Tales of Asgard

X Men



Looking forward to talking to you ～ Dasvidaniya