#@iceling4ever

[iceling4ever]

It’s autumn and so much more !!! I love this time of the year … when it’s not too cold yet and the changing color leaves and foliage. It’s a wonderful season

[jenquotes]

“A father - any one can be, just donate sperm. But to be a daddy - it takes time, patience, love, support and a commitment to not let your child down.” -JeN

[cocostravelandjourney]

The struggle is real @ red rock canyon. The climb up. When in Vegas must catch a few shows, Divas - what a show! Nothing beats the huge dam of Hoover’s Dam. The massive construction project, bridges, all impressive.

[jpn-pcos]

Time for a Change and Shift

I think it's time for a change. I am tired feeling exhausted all the time. My body is telling me I need to actively make big changes to improve my health. It's slowly killing me. Dragging myself to work each morning, feeling restless and sad/depressed.  So I need to have some accountability in my life choices and have a work-life-balance.  I will need to decide what is important in my life and give up some things. The problem is, my mind is often preoccupied with so many things. So many life goals and desires. So many activities I wish I could be doing.  During my awaking time, I am suffering. Overthinking!  But this need to stop and actions need to proactively start to manifest into reality.   Starting off, I need to start to change my life schedule. Starting with changing my sleeping pattern and hours of sleeping.  I need to give myself quality sleep. Like how my ASMR videos are helping others with my calm voice. I need to start proactively giving myself this type of ASMR for myself and go into a state of trans.  Starting with trying to create a 9:30pm to 5:30am sleep schedule. I will push myself to do this 5 days a week on Monday to Friday.  On the weekends I can extend the sleep schedule to 11pm to 8am. I need to function on my own time and not on the basis of matching someone else's time. For so long I had always tried my best to match my boyfriend/significant other/ or lover's time schedule. And frankly I have learned, it doesn't work for me.  It causes me more harm than good. And are they appreciative of my efforts?  I don't think so. At least I don't feel they are. So now, the time for compromise is over. They will need to mash with my time schedule.  So lets start with the shift in sleep pattern. So on Monday to Friday, I will try to train my body to wake up at 5:30am, get ready and leave my house by 6:30am.  Walk to the N train station by 7:30am. Let's do this for a week and see how I feel.  On the weekends, I will sleep at 11pm and wake up at 8am, then get ready and leave the house by 9am to take a long walk along the beach or neighborhood.  Eat breakfast and then come back before noon to start the rest of my day.  Let's try this for two weeks and see what happens. These changes they need to be slow, steady and progressive and I need to be accountable for my choices. I will start this starting Today after work. I hope, I can put this plan into action. I will force myself to. No point putting it off to tomorrow. When I can do it today.

As a reminder -  I will write out my schedule:

Monday to Friday – Sleep at 9:30pm and Wake up at 5:30am Saturday and Sunday – Sleep at 11:00pm and Wake up at 8:00am

Monday to Friday – leave house at 6:30am and walk to N train station (arrive by 7:30am); take train to work. Saturday and Sunday – leave house at 9:00am and go walk, exercise, and eat breakfast. Return back home before Noon.

[eternallovecp]

Sample of our design samples

[jenkaythejourney]

Letter to my daughter Kayla:

Thank you for giving me the privilege to become a mother… in particular, your mother. I may not be perfect, but I promise to be the best type of mommy for you. As you grow you will encounter many challenges and obstacles. I hope I will be able to guide you along your journey to overcome all those challenges and obstacles. We might not always see eye to eye, but I promise I will always look out for your best interest and be a light in your life. Grow up big, strong, tall, proud and compassionate my daughter. Know that I will always be proud of you even in times when I might not show it. We come from different generations but I will try my best to be innovative and be a progressive tiger mom instead of an old school one. Love you lots!!! -Mommy JeN

#kaylatamarangtchesnokova #iceling4ever @funnypixels1 @iceling4ever @dietitianjenfoodnation #motheranddaughter #dj4ever12520

[iceling4ever]

Yesterday evening I realized that emotional pain is equally as detrimental to the body as physical pain. I have never in my life experience the kind of stress induced emotional heart response pain as I did last night. My whole body started to be in shock mode. Leading to high blood pressure, a pounding headache, heart palpitations, muscle spasms in my calf, stroke like symptoms in my brain, neck and heart. I felt sick to my stomach, couldn’t breathe for a good half hour. Felt nauseous, hungry, feeling of wanting to vomit but can’t. Head was shaking in pain with nerves expanding and contracting. Heart was slowly started pounding and beating abnormally. It was the closest I had to going into cardiac shock. Outwardly, I was on my knees and crying a storm - in agony and pain. Inwardly, I was feeling what I just describe above.

Already exhausted from a lack of sleep from the week. A long day at work, sadness in my mind/ heart and yet I had to come home to a broken home where my dad was screaming and fighting with my mom over lack of helping my mom with household duties because he is too busy enjoying his life going to the elderly center while my mom is alone at home taking care of the family responsibilities- helping me take care of Kayla. Helping my sis take care of Andrew, in charge of household cooking and cleaning, buying groceries and on top of that being exhausted and in pain physical from her many ailments in her body due to Years of overworking and abuse to her body. I appreciate everything my mom has done for me, she has helped me a lot with my daughter. Looking after her while I am working. My daughter is a handful and being in her 70s it’s a challenge for mom. Especially with her neck surgery and pains related to that amongst other things. I know her personality is one that needs everything done and tidy in the house. A trait that I think I picked up from her. As I am that way in my own house. But she is also a type A personality. A person that has no patience and wants everything done now now… I am a type B personality where everything can wait a little with some type A. My husband unfortunately is all type B where it gets to the point that it really affects me deeply. His laziness has no bound. He is always tired even when he sleeps 10+ hours or who is mostly never sober and always either is drunk, feels and acts drunk (from what he claims is exhaustion) or he is puking and vomiting and dizzy. Never a moment where I find him “normal” and that to me is just unacceptable in any culture. He needs to understand he needs to fix himself up. Whether that be going to professional alcoholic rehabiliation or getting treatment. I can’t see myself in a family with him and our daughter if he continues down this path of self destruction. With his current state he can’t help me with Kayla. He can barely help himself. The worse is what is his mom doing to help or control her son. Taking away his money, credit card and driver license. How the fuck does that help?! So stupid! Put him through rehab damn it. Forcing him to work his job and pay for the house mortgage, credit card bills, and his other sibling bills and mother’s bills ?? How is this helping him. My God, the fact that he hasn’t loss his mind in that type of environment and abuse is beyond me. But yet again, maybe this is how he copes with this maternal abuse by abusing himself with alcohol and sleeping to avoid his life problems. The war in Russia and the death of his maternal grandma and death of his father doesn’t seem to help his psyche either. Not to mention his many years of childhood PTSD from having a weapon put to his throat or being hit and abuse growing up for not being an obedient kid. I am sure we each has been through some type of abuse.

I know I had. Last night’s body reaction is to that abuse - getting yelled at by my father for not doing more to take care of my daughter and that he should be allow to live his life and enjoy the elderly center and that my mom shouldn’t have to work so hard to raise my child that it’s my husband and my responsibility to watch our child. As mom was complaining to dad to help out more instead of going to the elderly center 7 days a week and avoiding all family obligations and responsibilities as mom is exhausted and tired and her body is breaking down. I know exactly how my mom feels. Not until I became a mom did I understand the implications of how much pain, suffering and sacrifices, mothers make and how fuckin little fathers and men do to help. Not saying there aren’t any good men or dads but very rare. Most are as selfish as they come. Doing the most minimal. They think just because they work and earn money it’s enough. Even my dad, growing up he did nothing for us. He just went to work everyday and earn money. Mom did that and on top of that cook, clean and raised us as best as she could. Dad didn’t bat an eye. He felt he already did enough by giving us a roof over our head. Barely interacting with us. I am on this app, call Peanut, and I see through other women’s eyes, mostly all men are the same. Not maternal, not loving and do the most minimal and complains they are tired and doing too much. Sometimes I think it’s better to just be single and don’t have to put up with this shit!

But I digress… I can swear to God, I have already put in my 200% effort into my daughter, into this family I created, into myself and into my job and my apartment. My body is breaking down. I don’t know how much more I can do. I am just one person. I am dying and breaking down. My body reaction is telling me, I am dying. Every day I don’t get enough sleep. I barely have time to sleep, eat, shower. Some weeks I would go days without showering or washing my hair. I am just too tired and exhausted after putting my daughter to sleep to go do it. I am passing out. And the many task I need to do on my phone or bills I need to pay or whatever task I need to do gets push to the back burner and when I find a moment in the night after my daughter is put to sleep I actually get to do whatever task it is. And then my dad see me on the phone doing those tasks and he assumes I am fooling around on my phone and not sleeping. His judgment without context is too harsh. Meanwhile he is always on his phone texting and trying to impress this one elderly man at the elderly center. That man around the same again as what his father would had been. I think he still trying to seek that approval and love from his own father that he never got. That’s why he likes that man so much and feels he needs to get his approval or favoritism. Being the youngest child in his family of 5 siblings and without his mom at the age of 10, it must had been really tough for him. I don’t know. My mom being the oldest child of 5 siblings must had been difficult for her life too. Because of all she had to erase from her life - the hiding of her pregnancy from the government due to the one child policy, the sneaking around without any help from her husband because he was gone working in another region of the country. The abuse and hardship she endured. The tears she shed, no one would ever understand. The pain of losing her child. The pain of persecution. The abuse from family and neighbors and outsiders because she had to raise three kids by herself. Only she would understand how I feel. And maybe because of this she feels this need to help me. She doesn’t want me to endure and suffer the same fate and hardships. And yet it seems fate is cruel and unforgiving that I also must suffer similar fates.

It all comes out, the “fight/argument “ is over many things but at the top is that mom is doing too much and I am doing not enough and my dad doesn’t want to do anything cause he feels is not his responsibility. Dad makes a good point that he should be allow to enjoy the remainder of his life and my mom should too. And whatever help they give me is out of the goodness of their heart. They are right. But at the same token I am already bending forward and backwards. I am working a full time job, I am managing too households - my apartment and my parents place, I am putting my daughter to sleep at night and I am stressed at work and in my personal life. Each day at work I am exhausted yet forcing myself to work hard and get work done because I am one of the slower workers and so much work to do. In my apartment I am the only one cleaning, tidying and putting things inside (packages), paying the mortgage, bills, maintenance. In my personal life my health is shit. I am always in pain, my weight has skyrocketed from the stress and hormonal imbalance and everywhere literally hurts. Then my husband is a loser and doesn’t help me with anything. He thinks the small measly child support money is doing a lot. Which it isn’t. Every few days after work I need to drop off things to my apartment or I need to go do errands and tasks such as buy Kayla groceries or diapers/wipes or whatever it might be. I never had a moment to breathe and yet everyone thinks I have so much free time and doing so much “fun stuff”. I still owe a big money debt to my ex-boyfriend which is an unfortunate life lesson for being tricked, robbed from an online lover whom was deceitful as fuck. He probably isn’t even just one person but maybe a group of people pretending to be one person and using someone else’s photos. It was horrible he used God to deceive and trick me. And he used my own burden and pain to trick me. It was just a mess. But that’s a whole other story. I know in my own heart and God knows I have done over my limits with my daughter and with keeping my family afloat. It’s difficult when you are a single mother.

Next you ask, then why don’t you let your mother in law (Kayla paternal mother or family) help you. Well, she could barely take care of herself and her own kids. Her son (my husband) has an addiction problem alcohol, vape and cigarettes. And what she do for him? She enables him. Then her younger daughter has PTSD, psychosis and mental health issues amongst emotional damage from her emotional/mental abuse growing up among other problems. Her younger son who seems okay is only okay because he avoids her and doesn’t do much interaction with MIL and does his own thing. Now she already has her hands full. On top of that she also likes to abuse alcohol and wine and is promiscuous with men and has abusive tendencies in the men she chooses in her life. Has expensive lifestyle and taste and the men she sleeps with are abusive in one form or another. Why would I want my daughter around this type of influence and danger. Also when I was pregnant she never trusted me. She thinks I am hiding everything and to be honest, if her son didn’t love me, she had her hand in the relationships and kick me out a long time ago as just her son’s casual fuck and companion of the week. But because her son fell in love with me and refuse to leave me regardless of how hard I tried to push him away, she has no choice but accept the status quo. I know she probably loves her kids like all mothers do, but her control and approach for each and all her kids is messed up and wrong. Because she is my elder, I won’t tell her off but I also don’t see her as a fit person to look after my daughter. The only Person in this world I truly trust is my mom.

Growing up being a girl was very rough. I was sexually abused by my extended family members and family member friend at different moments in my childhood. Not at the same time but different times. These people know who they are! And that shame will linger with them for the rest of their lives I am sure. I don’t need to call out who they are. I am sure they know as they were older than me when it all happened. Because of this I don’t trust anyone! I especially don’t trust anyone with my daughter. That’s also why I don’t want anyone looking after my daughter but my mom. And my MIL house has too many people there. Too many suspicious men. As for my apartment, I don’t want anyone here but me and my daughter. I don’t trust anyone to be frank. When I knew I was carrying a daughter I was so frightful. Afraid that she would grow up with sexual abuse, afraid that she might get my PCOS, endometriosis or other health issues. I fear it all. I would be less scared with a son. In this society women always get abused in one form or another. It’s crazy! Growing up I was always more mature than my age, having curves with big boobs and butt, also had inappropriate men attention. Attention that I did not want. I was cute and attractive that was also a problem. My daughter is cute and most likely will turn out attractive. That’s why I worry for her in this world. Her father is oblivious to all this because he is one of those men that thinks Sex at a young age is okay and that women should be allow to date, kiss and explore. Is he nuts?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I guess that’s the European side of him. I am not as forward thinking. I think there should be boundaries and that’s why I love Christianity and God. Because it provides Guidelines and boundaries!

My head still hurts as I write all this. But I write it to get my message across, I might die the next day who knows. My body is breaking down. I thought last night I might had a stroke and died. That’s how bad my body reaction to my dad was. I know with my full heart that I am doing the best I can. I can’t do any more than what I have already done for my family and for the family I have created. I only ask my other family members, my sister, BIL, father, bro and grandma to help out my mom as much and as best as possible. I know my mom’s personality, helping out just means they need to do their own part and help themselves and don’t give extra work to mom. Clean up after themselves, look after their own things and in occasion help look after Kayla while mom is doing a task. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for. But maybe to them they think it’s a lot to ask for. I only wish they understand how difficult life has been for mom and me. Having similar illnesses as my mother I know very well how she feels and I think she knows how I feel. And for that reason I feel she pities me and helps me as much as she can. I appreciate her help and never take it for granted.

In my life, I have predicted that I won’t live past 50 years old. I hope I am wrong. I hope my past recurrent dreams are wrong as well. I would really like to see my daughter be a grown-up and married before I leave this world. In the past before the existence of my daughter I always questioned why I was allow to live and why I was still alive. I had severe mental depressions as a child due to the sexual abuse, mental and physical abuse and the pressures and stress from parents to be smart and perfect. Something I will never be - smart nor perfect. I am flawed in every way and so broken inside beyond repair. At 15, I tried to commit suicide and contemplated that this was it, time to go… just to have missionaries from my current church come knock on my parents door and saved me and converted me to Christianity. The elder at the time Elderly P told me he had a dream that someone needed saving around my neighborhood. God is good! So started my relationship with God at 15. But each moment throughout my life I have been tested over and over again … nothing ever good … so when others say they know how difficult life is and they understand. until you walk a mile in my shoes, you don’t know SHIT. Don’t judge what you don’t understand.

My health issues is another story - having a small brain tumor, having pressure palsy, numbness in both hands, fingers and arms, PCOS , painful menstruation, inability to hold my bladder urine, possible endometriosis, pain on my right side quadrant. Bone pain with my neck, spine, lower back, compressed nerves. Pain with in my feet, toes, knee when I walk. My whole body is breaking down … obesity, hormonal imbalance, metabolic syndrome, slow metabolism - you name it, I got it …

When will life get better? Will it ever get better ? What is my life purpose. Why did my mom keep me while my second sis is dead. The guilt of losing second is probably the reason to keep me. What mom doesn’t love their child. Especially they carry it for 9 months. Being a mom is not easy… it’s one of the hardest Jobs in the world and not always the most rewarding. I love my daughter and would die protecting my daughter. I don’t want her to suffer the same fate as me. I want her to grow up carefree and blessed and happy - I need her to know her mom loves her very much. Just as I know my mom loves me even though my mom doesn’t know how to express that emotion in words. But her physical actions show. Growing up I was most happy when I was sick, because it meant that mom had to be home to take care of me, feed me, give me medication and look after me and physically just be there. Sometimes when I was younger I would wish I would get sick or ill with a cold or whatever just to get mom’s love and attention. Crazy huh? My daughter don’t need to wish for that. I will make sure to provide her with the love, attention, praise she seeks. It’s so important in a child’s development and mindset to have this feeling that she/he is loved. I, for one, know that better than any one else.

4/28/23

(Written 4/29/23)

[iceling4ever]

Come join my live radio broadcast tonight at 10:30pm on Amazon AMP app … download the app to join in on the fun… Link below:

iceling4ever is on Amp! https://live.onamp.com/iceling4ever

[iceling4ever]

[jpn-pcos]

The Healing Process Begins... Or does it? So I went back to my TCM/herbalist and this is the second week I am on my new herbal medicine therapy. So far the advice my TCM gave me is to avoid the seven emotional feelings/habits listed above and to avoid a bunch of foods such as beef, pineapple, dairy, seafoods, crab/oysters/clams especially, and other foods so that my complex cyst do not burst. It's harder to do then I thought because being Chinese and moving back home with my parents and family makes it very difficult to avoid the above seven emotion/ habits. In particular the avoid confrontation, aggravation, provoke/irritation, pressure/stress part. Then the insomnia/lack of sleep, tired/fatigue/exhaust part is hard habit to break too. I am going nuts here. I can't wait to get married and move out. No offense to my parents/family but I just like to be a loner, on my terms, in my way. I don't like people nosey into my business unless I personally choose to share. And between you and me if you been following me you know I try to make my life an open book. But at the same time there are certain aspects, not much, but there are some things I like to keep bottle in and just not share until I am ready to or want to. Provoke feelings are the worst and my family do that too much. Gets me all aggravated, upset, sad and leads to many tears. It's just bad all around. But enough about that. Doctor tells me I need to be more carefree, happy, stress free, play more, sleep more and then my illnesses will slowly start to heal. She is right! I do feel better when I am happier. But sometimes it's so hard to keep up a true smile when everything is in the shit hole. Excuse my language but that's how I feel. Will try my best and continue the therapy. In other news, my western ob/gyn doctor keeps on telling me I should be on birth control pills (ortho tri-cyclen) and that, that would be the only way to control cysts and to stop its growth. I refuse to believe that is the only way. I refuse to take them. I refuse to be on Metformin or any other drugs said to be for controlling PCOS symptoms. Being a Dietitian Nutritionists and being on the side of Traditional Chinese Medicine and Preventive medicine, I refuse to believe that drugs with high side effects is the only answer. There are many answers to a question. I will find the one that fits me. Sorry doc, I think you are great but I want kids someday and I refuse to put my body under more strain then it is already on. So let's keep our fingers cross and see if the herbal tea medicine can fix the right ovary as how it fixed the left. But currently on my cycle, and between you and me the cramps, Dysmenorrhea, and Menorrhagia is the fuckin worst.

[jpn-pcos]

Workout/Health Log - 11/4/19: First day back at the gym after a week and a half of not going due to my ankle injury (severe sprain and slight fracture ankle)... not fully healed, still hurts and have itchiness from skin allergic reaction so now there is a red rash... I hate skin infections/rash/etc. The hardest to heal. The ankle region still hurts a lot. But I did a 1.6mile cardio walk and 1hr of upper body core and strength training as I was starting to feel unhealthy from lack of exercise/movement. And my body is so unforgiving, it shows... “It takes months for progress and only 12 days to show huge regression. Having hormonal imbalance truly sucks as it’s so unforgiving. So now need to once again start from scratch. Back to the drawing board.” But this time around, I am not gonna stress too much over anything. Slowly ease into it and avoid injuries, making sure my ankle heals properly. (If you have not follow my posts, ankle injury is not due to exercising but due to a bad fall on the street due to a really poorly unmaintained street crack on the ground.) How annoying!

#pcosawareness #iceling4ever #pcos #healthandfitness #jpnworkouthealthlog #letsdothis #realism #life #health #lifeasweknowit #itsajourneyandaprocess #injury #brutal #backandbetterthanever

[iceling4ever]

Daily Inspirations - This one stroke a chord with me... It is very true thou that in order to know and learn one must live through it. I have learned so much and have grown so much mentally, spiritually, emotionally and educationally through my life experiences. And it was usually the shitty experiences that propel me the most. But it was also at those times that God introduced many great people into my life to help me fight through the darkness and into the light.

God doesn't give a challenge to us that he thinks we can't handle. We are stronger than we think we are. Give ourselves more credit.

[jenquotes]

“You won’t see results right away. Day in and Day out, you won’t see any change... but go to the gym anyways. Go day after day even when you don’t feel like going. Go even if you have excuses and feel tired. Go for yourself. Don’t go for anyone but yourself. And as time pass, you will see results, you will see the time lapse. Keep pushing yourself forward and the results will show. You will be healthier, you will be happier, you will be different, you will be changed.”

-JeN

[iceling4ever]

Exhausted, starting to lead to burn-out

Recently I have been doing a lot of overtime hours to finish different projects for work that is due this week and for the beginning of next month. Starting to take a toll on me. What is worse is the effort that I do, no body see it. It may look like it's a 1-2-3 done process but it is really time consuming. I wish there was an easier way to get the same results. I don't wanna cut corners and do a sloppy job like other people. It is against my work ethics. But is that what I need to do to gain back my sanity??? I am just so tired and exhausted. I need more sleep, more rest. In short, I need a vacation. A real one where I can sleep-in and do nothing. Maybe be around nature... A peace of mind, maybe?! Sigh...

I rarely cry, but I cried last night... What's worse is that when I need someone, no one is ever around. I need to be more selfish and stop being around for everyone else as no one is ever around for me. I need to take care of myself first. But this way of thinking is so unlike me. To not care and not show empathy... But maybe I need to slowly adapt it. (To all that actually read my blog, watch my vlogs, and follow my social media... If I am distant and start withdrawing myself away, this is why... Bare with me.)

[jpn-pcos]

Traditional Chinese Medicine for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

This is an article that I had for a while that I wish to share with my readers. I don't think I have previously share it. I hope you enjoy the read! Take whatever knowledge you can from it.

Five to ten percent of women of childbearing age have polycystic ovary syndrome, also known as PCOS. It can occur in girls as young as 11 years old.

In approximately 75% of cases where young women have problems with menstruation due to late puberty, PCOS is often diagnosed. Irregular, infrequent or absent periods, or periods with heavy flow and unbearable pain, are all variations of the problem. Sometimes PCOS presents itself much later in life when a woman of childbearing age stops using contraceptive pills and finds herself having very long cycles or no cycles at all, and is unable to conceive.

Symptoms of PCOS

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a complex syndrome that includes problems with a woman’s menstrual cycle (length, intensity), her ability to have children, her hormone levels, and her appearance (excessive hair growth on the chin and cheeks, acne, weight gain, baldness).

Women with PCOS often have ovaries that contain many small cysts, of a size seldom exceeding 0.5 cm.

The symptoms of PCOS can vary from woman to woman, with some women suffering more than others. Symptoms can include any of the following:

• Infertility due to lack of ovulation (PCOS is the most common cause of infertility); Anxiety; Depression

• Menstrual irregularities: irregular or absent menses;

• Heavy menstruation (especially if periods are late);

• Painful menstruation or pain during ovulation, bleeding in the middle of a cycle;

• Pelvic pain (distention, heaviness, stabbing pain);

• Physical changes (often occurring at a later stage but not always): increased hair growth on the face, chest, stomach, back, thumbs or toes, weight gain around the waist, an inability to lose weight despite physical exercise, acne, dandruff, thinning hair (looking like male baldness);

• Multiple cysts on the ovaries diagnosed by ultrasound.

What Causes PCOS?

The cause of PCOS is unknown, but most experts think that several factors, including genetics, could play a role. One main underlying problem with PCOS is hormonal imbalance. In women with PCOS, the ovaries make more androgens than normal. High levels of these hormones affect the development and release of eggs during ovulation. Researchers also think that insulin may be linked to PCOS. Insulin is a hormone that controls the conversion of sugar, starches, and other food into energy for the body to use or store.

PCOS is generally diagnosed by a medical doctor after a thorough investigation of patient history, a physical and/or pelvic examination, pelvic ultrasound and endometrial lining thickness and blood tests to check hormonal levels. PCOS cysts need to be differentiated from functional cysts, which resolve on their own and require no treatment.

The ovaries, where a woman’s eggs are produced, have tiny fluid-filled sacs called follicles or cysts. As the egg grows, the follicle builds up fluid. When the egg matures, the follicle breaks open, the egg is released, and the egg travels through the fallopian tube to the uterus (womb) for fertilization. This is called ovulation.

In women with PCOS, the ovary doesn’t produce all of the hormones an egg needs in order to fully mature. The follicles may start to grow and build up fluid, but ovulation does not occur. Instead, some follicles may remain as cysts. For these reasons, ovulation does not occur and the hormone, progesterone, is not produced. Without progesterone, a woman’s menstrual cycle is irregular or absent altogether. PCOS is a cause of infertility, as the eggs are not released and ovulation occurs irregularly or not at all.

Conventional Treatment for PCOS

• Birth control pills – are sometimes recommended for women who don’t want to get pregnant (this approach does not really treat PCOS; it merely masks the symptoms and may facilitate the need for fertility treatments if pregnancy later becomes a goal).

• Diabetes medications – The medicine metformin (Glucophage) is used to treat Type 2 diabetes. It has also been found to help with PCOS symptoms, though it isn’t approved for this use.

• Fertility medications (clomifene-clomid, serophene, injections of Gonadotropins) for women trying to get pregnant. Lack of ovulation is usually the reason for fertility problems in women with PCOS.

Traditional Chinese Medicine for PCOS

Chinese medicine has studied polycystic ovaries since ancient times. There are many ancient and modern text books which mention abdominal masses (ie polycystic ovaries), along with scanty menstruation and absent or delayed menstruation.

According to Traditional Chinese Medicine theory, organs involved with PCOS include the Spleen, Kidney and Liver, with a subsequent disharmony of Chong and Ren channels / meridians.

In my Traditional Chinese Medicine practice, the condition known as PCOS has become a very common diagnosis. I see young women diagnosed with PCOS who are quite thin, have no facial or body hair growth, and suffer from very painful menstruation that is relieved by the application of hot pads. These women tend to feel more chilly, especially around the time of their periods.

Other women, also diagnosed with PCOS, have very irregular periods occurring only 4 or 5 times a year, but with a heavy and debilitating flow. They most often come to me for help because they have been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for a couple of years. Some mature women come because of persistent, painful acne and later find out they have PCOS.

Chinese medicine views PCOS as a complex combination of different patterns. Ovarian cysts are seen and treated as an accumulation of ‘phlegm damp’ in the uterus, enlarging the ovaries. This pattern is often accompanied by blood stagnation that is responsible for painful menstruation (stabbing pain) and dark, scanty, thick blood.

At the root of the disease is a kidney deficiency (hormonal imbalance), and a spleen qi deficiency (digestive problems) which causes accumulation of dampness. Very often a liver qi stagnation, worsened by years of stress or frustration, is added to the mix.

To effect complete recovery from PCOS, Chinese medicine uses herbs and acupuncture to regulate menstrual cycles, improve digestion, dissolve cysts, promote ovulation, improve egg quality, support conception and prevent a miscarriage when a pregnancy is achieved.

Pattern Differentiations and Treatment

Deficiency of Spleen Qi and Kidney Yang, Accumulation of Phlegm and Damp – Women suffering from this pattern have very long menstrual cycles (more than 35 days between periods which occur only 4 or 5 times a year), scanty bleeding that can alternate with flooding periods, which contain stringy tissue or mucus, or watery blood. Or they have no periods at all and come for fertility treatments. Such women also have a tendency to put on weight easily, feel bloated, don’t like cold weather and tire easily. Their appetite is not necessarily strong but they crave pastries and carbs, especially after meals. They can have chronic yeast infections, or chronic vaginal discharge. The tongue shows swollen and enlarged, with teethmarks on the sides, and is sometimes covered by a thick white coat.

In North America, despite cold winters, the overconsumption of large quantities of ice cream (with its high sugar and fat content), milk-shakes, cream cheese and other dairy products impact the digestive system from a young age. This accumulation of toxins in the body manifests as damp phlegm that blocks proper channel circulation in the abdomen, where the toxins tend to accumulate (think belly fat).

Treatment aims at strengthening the digestive system, removing dampness, and dissolving phlegm (removing cysts) with herbal supplements that include Gui zhi (cinnamon), Tu si zi, Du zhong, fu ling, Cang zhu, etc.

Gui zhi (cinnamon bark) is very good at warming the uterus and promoting blood circulation in the uterus, especially for women who have painful periods that are relieved with the application of hot compresses or hot pads. In many cases I like to add the herbs Lu lu tong and Ze lan to promote circulation in the abdomen. Lu lu Tong is used to unblock clogged tubes and dissolve phlegm. Fu ling and Cang zhu help the digestive system deal with excessive dampness and also promote urination, while Tu si Zi and Du zhong tonify the kidneys.

Liver Qi Stagnation and Blood Stasis – Enduring stress, depression or anxiety may lead to liver qi stagnation. This eventually impairs proper circulation of the blood, since qi makes blood circulate in the liver as well as in the ren and chong channels that traverse and connect with the uterus.

Another common cause of blood stagnation in the uterus is the invasion of cold. Cold causes contraction and prevents proper blood circulation. The liver channel begins at the big toe and travels up the leg, encircling the genitals. Coldness can easily enter the body through the feet and invade the uterus via the liver channel. This is one of the reasons why we advise women not to swim during their menstrual periods, when the uterus is particularly open and vulnerable, and to keep their feet, legs, abdomen and lower back warm.

Long term liver qi stagnation can also transform into heat, causing severe PMS symptoms: feelings of heat, restlessness and irritability, headaches, distended breast or abdomen, irregular periods and particularly heavy and clotty periods (when heat has transformed into blood stasis).

We use herbs that promote qi and blood circulation in the uterus, reduce clotting, reduce pain and distention, calm emotions and remove heat.

Formulas such as chai hu shu gan san or Dan zhi xiao yao san can be used with modifications. Ge xia zhu yu tang, with added herbs, can also be used if blood stasis is particularly strong.

With this pattern, the pulse is often wiry (feeling like a wire hitting the finger), and the tongue is reddish with redder sides. Sometimes you can see purplish spots on the sides of the tongue, indicating blood stasis.

Phlegm, kidney yang deficiency, spleen qi deficiency, liver qi stagnation, blood stasis (with either heat or cold symptoms) and finally, some possible blood and yin deficiency, can all combine as symptoms.

Acupuncture for PCOS

Acupuncture treatments are typically given once a week and sometimes more often, especially when there is pain before menstruation or mid-cycle. The duration of treatment

[jenquotes]

It's the most difficult moments in life that define us.

JeN