#@grammar

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[stafsar]

my muse and I

[sabertoothwalrus]

get him a ouppy!!!!!

[stingrayextraordinaire]

Another year, another group of my delightful ninth graders trying to spell the word "tragedy" for their Romeo and Juliet assignment.

Last year's collection

[littlemizzlinguistics]

Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"

[prokopetz]

The worst thing about formal English is that it offers these wonderful suffixes, then only lets you use them in prescribed circumstances. I should be able to describe things as meatful or leftly or falsewise without departing from the formal register if I darn well please.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Being neurodivergent is just having a Demicolon attached to every single sentence that comes out of your mouth.

For those who don't know what a Demicolon is:

[fox-and-the-hound]

What if Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy swapped cutie-marks, but their personalities stayed the same?

[bananapeeeeellssss]

I see your Bruce Wayne is dating Batman rumors and raise you this:

Everyone knows that Bruce Wayne is dating Batman. Everyone knows that Jason Todd is Red Hood. Everyone knows that Jason Todd is Bruce Wayne’s dead son. Everyone knows Red Hood hates Batman. This is all a very open secret. Everyone knows Tim Drake and Red Robin have a very public beef with one another. And that Red Hood used to have a very public (but much more violent) beef with the third Robin.

This leads to the general accepted truth being that Red Hood hates Batman because he is fucking his dad, and Tim Drake and Red Robin dislike each other because Tim’s brother beat up Red Robin, and, once again, Red Robin’s dad is fucking Tim’s. Everyone feels a little bad for Red Robin, being at the end of both Red Hood’s and Tim Drake’s distaste, because the former is a crime lord and the latter is *Timothy Jackson Drake*.

This, naturally, reaches the JL whom does not know Batman’s identity yet. Green Arrow makes a passing comment about having also fucked Wayne, which Batman overhears. Cue absolute bat confusion, which he does not show. And that was how the great Batman found out that he accidentally 100% enforced the rumors that he was dating himself by the way he replied to reporters strange questions that in hindsight were so incredibly obvious.

This whole time, Young Justice is having the time of their lives (while also becoming increasingly concerned) as they watch Tim switch between devices as he replies to himself on different accounts on Twitter to further his own feud with Red Robin.

And Jason is. Not sure how he feels. On one hand, Bruce is now very uncomfortable about many, many things. And people yell at Batman when he starts treating Jason like his son (especially when he yells “I’m not your son!” Because what kind of boyfriend would try to make their boyfriend’s kid their own when they clearly don’t want to be). That’s an upside. But on the other, this implies that he is *Bruce’s* son. And that brings up a lot of feelings he doesn’t want to deal with. And back on that first hand, people have mostly stopped making thirst traps of his dad (gross). And on the second once more, they have started shipping Red Robin and Tim.

And the others are just sitting back and enjoying the ride (they are absolutely a part of this, but I’m too lazy to type out and come up with ideas for the rest)

[smallidarityfan]

bro let the thoughts win

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[squareofshape]

i don't care how neat a program is or how much it might improve my life. if it sneaks its way into my computer on top of a regular software update like some kind of fucking digital deer tick, it's a delete on sight. kill kill kill. nobody but ME decides what programs get installed on MY computer. fuck all the way off

[the-californicationist]

i cant stop thinking about laying your head on jonathan price's furry belly after he's made you come so hard that you almost passed out, feeling him breathe in long, heady drags of his cigar, too cock-drunk to nag him about smoking in bed. and how the sheets would just barely be covering his half-hard prick, girthy and fat and soaked in both of your sticky fluids, smelling like sex and leaking all over his skin. and how he would know that you were staring at it, and he'd peel back the sheets just a little bit, letting his drooling head peek out from underneath, purposefully pulsing it right under your nose, teasing you with it, trying to get you to lick him clean. and maybe his free hand starts petting your hair, moving it out of your face, running his huge palm over your forehead just so sweetly and innocently. and maybe you lean forward a bit because, you know, it's right there, and he's being so careful with you. and maybe you barely plant a soft kiss on his tip, still wet and sensitive and swollen, and all of his salty come rubs off onto your lips like gloss, making them slip and slide as you suckle as gently as you can across his cockhead. and the sound that he makes when you finally take him into your mouth is just a perfect, gravelly purr.

[wolfythewitch]

I know how people's interpretation of Odysseus and Athena's relationship is somewhat toxic but parental, but I like to think of him as her weird pet

[macksartblock]

for the women enjoyers and Beth May, based on this post lol

[prokopetz]

Tumblr is the greatest social media platform because this is literally the only site where I can casually imply that the proper plural of "Spider-Man" is "Spiders-Men" and get absolutely zero pushback.