#@costco

[hottdoggblogg]

[dsm--v]

they were so funny for this

[animentality]

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[jaymang0]

Luffy discovers ✨️🌭COSTCO🌭✨️

[fixmybleep]

Winix C545 Purifier Unboxing & Setup Sold On Amazon And At Costco

[foldingfittedsheets]

As a USian I’ve heard many stereotypes about Canadians over the years. Super friendly has always been the most prevalent, and the runner up usually involved moose or mounties. When I lived right up at the border for a few years I discovered the two weirdest possible Canadian stereotypes.

The first was that Canadians would drive down to my mattress store, buy a Tempurpedic pillow, then return it a month later. Like. Any time we sold just a pillow it was a Canadian and 90% were returned a month later. I cannot and will never be able to explain this phenomenon.

But the second weird Canadian thing was The Milk. My roommates and I would shop at Costco and if we had the misfortune to go on a weekend we would just see Costco sized shopping carts full of milk. And Costco doesn’t have regular gallons! They have those massive two gallon jugs.

We’d see carts entirely filled with jugs of milk and every person loading up a pallet of milk into their car had Canadian plates. Even mild Canadians would have at least three of those milk jugs.

It was a subject for wild speculation. Did they bathe in the milk? Was one Canadian volunteered as tribute to bring back milk to their whole city block? Did they not have cows in Canada? Was there a Canadian black market for shitty US milk?

The local Costco had to literally expand their fridge section to accommodate the milk runs that would happen. It was super weird. But now I just sound like a crazy person when I make a Canadian milk joke because only people in that city knew about this hyper specific trend.

[introvertedx10]

And a barrel of cheese poofs that you have to roll to your car

[jakface]

Nick (hot dog eyes vr.) has that dog in him (and it broke him)

[dsm--v]

‘we need more problematic women’ you guys couldn’t handle yoko ono

[animentality]

[enkays-den]

i. I think impulse and skizz buy the same socks

[tastefullyoffensive]

"Yes, can you tell me what aisle your TVs and frozen meatballs are on?" @MNateShyamalan

via

[outsidewolves]