#?the context is supposed to be that but idk how clear it is
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hellonerf · 1 year ago
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toxic boymom england compilation
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elfanonymous · 3 months ago
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i love the trigun manga but its so unnecessarily confusing why am I finding out important information about smth 100 pages after the concept was introduced like dawg I did not fully understand a chunk of what you were saying without that information WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME NOW ?????????
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stars-and-guts · 5 months ago
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me when i woke up two days ago and my kamioshis have beef and the allegations are getting srs
#im not tagging this with either liver or any companies i dont need to add oil to the fire#tldr there is no tldr bc theres so much background context to why there would be this sort of allegation in the first place#im just pissed and mentally ill#fuck bro#you guys get my thoughts so ig thats context but no specifics and if you ask im ignoring you#1 i didnt realize that a KAMI oshi fucking hated another oshi the entire time he was in the same vtuber company and wave as him#2 there are super serious allegations going around for that another oshi/kamioshi 2 that have no solid proof or sources#but people think it aligns with how he acts and are harassing him#3 kamioshi 1 adds fuel to the fire for petty reasons and is acting so immature that its disappointing even if the allegations are true#4 im forced to realize that i didnt actually support my fucking K A M I oshi enough to want to follow him after he left that company#bc i honestly wasnt paying much attention to him anymore until all of this happened over my current kamioshi / oshi 2#5 if i say anything too crazy about it the “news” channels trying to push allegations without proof will just fucking steal my tweets#because theyre desperate like that#and theres nothing i can do about it#and now im just realizing that when i got into this group of livers i was even younger than i am now + immature + naive#the group that convinced me that me and my friends could stick together as a group was harboring this kind of conflict the whole time#why did i let my guard down to become a fan of a real person#why did i actually think i could see the good in a real person#whatever fuck this#idk the plan now is to stay neutral unless something comes out and clears up the situation#also if the company handles it badly whether the allegations are true or not thats the last straw#im done with all vtubers after that#this is right after my trips to japan too i dont fucking know what im supposed to do with the vtuber ita bag or nui plush#ALSO im being very selfish about this on this post#these thoughts will NOT be going to twitter#let it be known that this posts tags are an example of an unhealthy and overattached fan#this shit is NOT about me#i just have to make it about me because i got so attached to this and its my fault for doing that#this isnt getting my post tag either#major vent alert major veeeeennntt alleerrrttt
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pretentious-blonde · 2 months ago
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trust
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pairing: steve harrington x reader
summary: steve confesses something deeply personal, your reaction only spurs him on with his newly found confidence
warnings: 18+ this contains smut, f oral receiving, body insecurity, scars, whiney steve, it's real sappy
a/n: this is long and half of it is filth, but it's sweet so it's fine!! steve is smitten and a lil pathetic, idk what else to say
series masterlist
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Robin sat at her kitchen table in rumpled pajamas, hair slightly wild, nursing a mug of coffee that smelled dangerously bitter. She didn’t expect to be out of bed at this hour, but she had a rather pressing matter that demanded her attention.
Her best friend was perched across from her, vibrating with nerves. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so frazzled before noon—especially on a Sunday.
“Are you gonna tell me why you’re here at eight in the morning, or am I supposed to guess?”
Straight to the point, huh? 
He raked a hand through his hair—he’d already done it so many times this morning that it stuck up at all angles. 
“...We went on another date.”
“Right. You and your mystery girl.” A smile pulled at Robin’s lips. “That’s great, Steve, really. Super happy for you. But you needed to wake me up just to tell me you went on a date?”
When she says it like that, it feels like the understatement of the year. 
“I think I blew it,” he said flatly, the words coming out in a rush.
She snorted into her coffee. “That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”
“No, I’m serious,” he insisted, shoulders sagging. There was a dullness in his eyes that told her this was more than his usual overreaction. “I’m telling you, I ruined it.”
“Okay, sure,” she put her mug down, leaning forward with a sigh. ”You’ve totally, completely ruined it. Wanna back up and give me some context here?”
He drew in a breath, gaze drifting to the wall as if he might see yesterday play out on its surface. 
“Okay, so I saw her again yesterday. Picked her up, had a great time—like, amazing. I’m talking, she’s laughing…” He trailed off, letting that memory blossom in his chest. He cleared his throat, pressing on. “Anyway, I drove her home, walked her to her door. Smooth, right?”
“Peak romance,” Robin deadpanned, eyes narrowed as she tried not to smirk.
Steve shot her a withering glare that only made her grin more. 
“Yeah, so then we… we kissed. Which is not new. Told you what happened in the classroom couple weeks back? God, that was—” He closed his eyes for a moment, recalling how your lips tasted that evening, reluctantly forcing himself back to the present. “I mean, you know, right?”
Robin took another sip. “Yes, I know. Please continue.”
“Okay. Sorry. So last night, we’re outside, and she’s leaning against the door. We’re both kinda… reeling, and then she looks at me—like, that look—and asks if I’d like to come inside.”
“Inside, huh?” Robin’s coffee froze halfway to her lips. 
“Yeah.” Steve nodded fervently. “And look, I’m not an idiot, okay? It was late. I know what inside means.”
“I’m… not following.”
A frustrated groan escaped him as he slumped forward, elbows on the table, head in his hands. 
He doesn’t want to say the next part—he can barely stand to close his eyes without seeing the look on your face. Disappointed. And knowing he was the reason why. It was so stupid. He could have said anything else, but of course, his brain chose to short-circuit instead.
“I said… ‘No, thank you.’”
Silence blanketed the room. Robin’s mouth hung open for a moment before she found her words. 
“You said what?”
He groaned again, louder this time. 
“I panicked, okay? Just… You should’ve seen her face. She looked so—God, embarrassed? And I… I just—I was stuck. Couldn’t think of anything else.”
“So you turned down an invitation inside after a date—”
“—and then I turned around and headed for my car,” he finished, miserably.
Robin cringed, setting her mug aside. “Oof.”
“I know,” he hissed. He lifted his head, eyes pained, as if replaying the moment in mind-numbing slow motion. The memory felt like a stone in his chest.
Her gaze softened as she took in her best friend's posture, how his fingers trembled around the rim of the coffee mug he hadn't even touched. 
She knew he’d had it rough—anyone who’d witnessed what he had would understand. But since he primarily talked to his therapist about this sort of thing, she often forgot just how deep those wounds really ran.
“Hey,” she said, voice gentler now, “it’s okay if you’re… not ready for all of that yet. It’s a big step.”
He lifted his head, eyes shadowed with worry. 
“I am ready,” he countered, a hint of desperation colouring his tone. “I want—I want to be ready for that.”
And he did. He wanted it so badly, his body ached with the image of your skin against his, even if the touches had never gone beyond heated kisses and tentative caresses. 
For the last few years, his mind had been stuck in survival mode—always scanning for threats, flinching at sudden noises, bracing for the worst. But now, when he closed his eyes at night, instead of feeling dread burrow into his bones, he found himself imagining the curve of your lips, the softness of your laugh. 
He wondered how you’d sound if he whispered filthy compliments against your ear, what your breathy giggle might feel like against his neck if his fingertips trailed down your sides… between your thighs. 
Sometimes he even caught himself shivering from the sheer longing to feel you. 
All of you.
But wanting that also meant baring more than just his heart. The idea of letting you see every inch of him—scars that told stories he wasn’t ready to retell, the ridges and marks that still woke him in cold sweats—terrified him. 
What if you asked about them? What if you stared too long? Worse, would you be disgusted? He imagined your wide eyes taking him in and feeling pity, revulsion. The thought was enough to make his stomach twist, to conjure that old, familiar panic.
He swallowed thickly, struggling to force the words out. Robin slid her coffee across and leaned forward, reaching out as if to anchor him to the present. 
“You can talk to me,” she urged. “You know that, right?”
Steve pressed his lips together, trying and failing to steady the whirlwind of fear in his chest. Finally, he looked at her, voice barely above a whisper. 
“What if…” He inhales deeply, “what if she doesn’t... like what she sees?”
It took a while for it to click, but when it did, her chest caved. 
Her eyes flickered with regret as realisation sank in, remembering the countless times she’d watched her friend hurl himself into danger so that she and the others could walk away unscathed. Always the martyr, always the hero, always the one with the innate urge to rush in and save those he held close to him. 
It was such a rare gift, but it was one that left the worst as a result. The physical reminders—souvenirs he never asked for. 
“Steve,” she said quietly, “everyone has scars.”
He let out a soft, humourless laugh. 
“Not like mine.”
Her heart broke for him, but her resolve was far stronger. 
“Hey,” she spoke, tone turning firm, “we’re not doing that.” She locked eyes with him, showing him the truth behind her statement. “Do you seriously think this girl would judge you for something that’s basically the reason you’re still alive?”
That we’re all alive.
His gaze darted away, thoughts churning. 
Robin was always like this—blunt, even when she was trying to be comforting. A stark contrast to Dr. Avery, but sometimes he preferred it. At least it meant honesty.
“Well… people are—”
“That’s not what I’m asking,” she cut him off, levelling him with a look. “I’m asking if you think, with absolute certainty, that this would cause her to stop seeing you.”
He opened his mouth, closed it again, and racked his brain for any moment he’d ever heard you speak ill of someone without good reason. He couldn’t recall a single instance—except for that one time you’d jokingly insulted his father after hearing the reaction to Steve’s profession, but that was more than warranted. Otherwise, you never had a negative word for anyone. Even when you probably should. 
He couldn’t picture you reacting with disgust. 
It just didn’t… fit.
“It’s not that simple,” he muttered, though his voice wavered with uncertainty.
“I hate to say it, but it kind of is.” Robin pursed her lips. “She’s clearly into you, right?”
He hesitated. “Well—”
“Shh, yes she is,” she declared, waving a dismissive hand. “She wouldn’t be seeing you if she wasn’t. And if anything, that’s a bigger compliment, yeah? She wants you for you.”
“What if there are questions?” He gave a reluctant shrug, tension still rolling off him in waves. 
“Then be honest.”
He shot her a look. “Are you serious right now?”
“No, not that kind of honest.” Robin snorted. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” he said quickly, the mere thought making dread coil in his gut. That was the last thing he wanted to bring up in your presence. 
“There you go.” She lifted her eyebrows pointedly. “Tell her it’s hard for you to talk about. You’re not lying, you’re just… setting a boundary.”
“I’m not sure…” he admitted, leaning back in his chair.
“For God’s sake, Steve.” Robin sighed, exasperated but affectionate all the same. “I’m telling you this as your friend—you can’t let this hold you back forever.”
His jaw tightened. “I’m not.”
“You don’t know unless you try,” she pressed. “Do you trust her?”
“Yes,” he blurted, the word escaping before he even had time to think. You had never given him a single reason not to, the only thing you treated him with was unrelenting kindness. 
Robin’s lips curved into a gentle smile. “Well, there’s your answer.”
A beat of silence passed before he nodded, finally letting some measure of acceptance settle in his eyes. Robin grinned back, pushing herself to her feet, feeling proud that they had reached a solution. 
“Have you eaten?”
“No.” He shook his head. He came straight here as soon as he woke up. Barely slept the night before, too. 
“Pancakes, then.” She arched an eyebrow, making her way over to the stove. “You’re gonna need the energy for when you go talk to her later.”
“Later?” Steve spun in his chair, panic creeping back in.
“Yeah, it’s Sunday,” Robin rolled her eyes as she pulled out a frying pan. “No time like the present, right?”
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Steve spent the rest of the morning holed up at Robin’s place, grateful for her presence and the easy way they could slip back into normal best-friend banter. It helped calm the churning in his gut, the lingering phantom of your expression—slightly crestfallen—when he’d refused your invitation the previous night.
By the afternoon, he felt marginally more composed. Maybe it was the pancakes, or maybe it was the way she all but shoved him out the door with the gentle instruction to ‘fix it’ and ‘try not to overthink.’
Easier said than done.
Either way, he found himself stopping by a local florist before driving to your shop. The tiny bell above the florist’s door tinkled as he stepped in, and he spent a solid ten minutes agonising over which bouquet to get, recalling Robin’s reassurance. 
“No girl’s ever upset by flowers.”
Eventually, he left with a bundle of soft-petaled blooms—light pinks and whites and a hint of greenery—and the distinct feeling that his heart might pound its way right out of his chest.
Your shop front, normally inviting, appeared closed from the outside—lights off, sign flipped to “Closed.” He knew you rarely opened on Sundays, which was exactly why he was hoping you’d be here catching up on inventory, or maybe just tinkering with whatever behind the scenes stuff you did. The street was quiet, the afternoon light softer than usual, and he paused at the door, bouquet in hand, taking a quick breath to steel himself.
He knocked gently, three times.
At first, nothing. Then, after a second, he saw movement through the side window: a glimpse of you rounding the corner, curiosity evident on your face—until your gaze landed on him. Even at a distance, he saw your expression flicker between shock and uncertainty. His heart plummeted at the thought that maybe he was the last person you wanted to see right now.
Still, you came over, unbolted the lock, and eased the door open. 
“Hey, Steve,” you said quietly, voice uncertain yet polite. “I… wasn’t expecting you.”
His tongue felt like lead. 
“Yeah, well, um…” He awkwardly tapped the toe of his shoe on the pavement before glancing down at the flowers. His head spun with everything he wanted to say. “Can I come in?”
Your eyes flicked from the bouquet back to him, and then you stepped aside, nodding. 
“Sure.”
As you closed the door behind him, he took in a calming breath. The shop was dim, lit mostly by the fading light filtering through the front windows. It smelled of you in a comforting, barely-there way: a hint of vanilla, maybe a touch of something floral tied with old paper.
“Um,” he started, holding out the flowers. “I picked these up for you.”
You glanced at them, your features melting into something softer. The corners of your lips tilted up in the faintest smile. 
“They’re beautiful,” you murmured, reaching for them. He could see the tension easing in your shoulders, though it didn’t vanish entirely.
When you sighed, he braced for the worst—but your voice was gentle. The words leaving you not at all what he expected. 
“Listen, Steve, I want to tell you I’m… really sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have been so forward, and if I made you uncomfortable—”
“Hey—” The words rushed out of him before he could stop them. “No, don’t—I’m the one who should be apologising.”
Are you seriously the one taking the blame right now?
“There’s really no need,” you insisted, although your gaze slid away as though you couldn’t quite banish the awkwardness in the air.
He inhaled through his nose, summoning courage. 
Here goes nothing. 
“I, um,” he said softly, stepping a little closer. “I—I haven’t been—”
He tried recalling every single word Robin had told him—her reminders that you liked him, that a small truth wouldn’t change that. He tried to remember all the pointers his therapist had ever offered about vulnerability and the importance of speaking up, but the moment he lifted his gaze and locked eyes with you, every carefully rehearsed line vanished.
It was just you. Standing there, holding the flowers he’d given you in your gentle grip, your expression open and patient and just the slightest bit worried. The shop’s quiet seemed to magnify the pounding of his heart.
“Listen,” he began, voice trembling despite his best effort. “I… I like you.” Heat rose to his cheeks immediately; God, he sounded like a flustered high school kid. “And I know that’s not—I mean, maybe it’s not what anyone wants to hear. Probably think it’s bull, but I haven’t felt this way in a… in a while.” He swallowed. “Longer than a while, actually. And I—I just don’t want you to be…” He let out a rough breath, tongue tripping over the words. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
“Disappointed?” You tilted your head, brow creasing. 
It was a single word, but it reached right in and squeezed his heart. 
He wet his lips. This was the moment—no turning back. He could almost hear Robin’s voice in his head telling him to trust you. 
So he did.
“Yeah,” he managed, letting out a humourless chuckle. “I…” His pulse roared in his ears as he extended his arm, tugging at the sleeve of his sweater. 
It felt like every second stretched and stretched, infinitely slow, while he carefully eased the fabric up. He revealed the pale, uneven skin on the back of his left forearm.
There, a gnarled mark ran angry and taut, though it had healed better than it once was. It was still jarring against the rest of his skin, as if it didn’t quite belong on his body. 
He had half a mind to yank the sleeve back down, to hide it all again. Every nerve in him screamed to do so.
You stepped closer instead, a soft, careful movement that sent warmth fluttering in his gut. he forced a small, shaky smile, even as his voice trembled. 
“It, uh, looks worse than it is.” A lie, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully admit the pain buried there. “I just wanted you to know… in case we ever… in case you wanted to…”
He trailed off, heart hammering. The jumble of words in his head was impossible to untangle, so he let them die on his tongue.
Your gaze flicked from the scar to his eyes, and a stillness enveloped the space for a moment. You could see how hard this was for him, and you were doing everything in your power to keep this conversation tender. 
“There are more?”
There was no judgment in your tone—just gentle curiosity. He could’ve laughed at how badly he’d feared that question. 
“Yeah,” he answered, a quiet, wry chuckle escaping his throat. “Unfortunately.”
You nodded. Your expression was so compassionate it nearly knocked the breath right out of him. There was nothing unfortunate except the pain he had once been in. 
“Is this why you said no?”
He felt the tension in his shoulders tighten. 
“I—yeah.” In a rush, he continued, “I just wanted you to know what you were getting into. Wanted to… to give you the chance back out.” He swallowed, voice dropping.
Even he could hear the raw, unfiltered insecurity there—every fear he’d harboured for years, twisted into one desperate confession. 
He didn’t want you to leave. But if you had to, do it before he fell any harder. 
And then you smiled at him—so softly, so gently, it felt like a sunrise breaking through storm clouds. When you spoke, your tone was certain. 
You had never been more sure of a decision.
“There is nothing that could make me want you any less, Steve Harrington.”
He felt his chest constrict, tears threatening at the back of his eyes. Every flutter of panic from before turned into a wild, dizzy sense of relief. You—the person who made his heart race just by being—were standing here in front of him, telling him that not even the physical parts of his past could drive you away.
And that was enough to make him break. His eyes burned, blinking back tears before they could spill. He bit the inside of his cheek to hold them back.
You didn’t look repulsed or the littlest bit shocked. You just looked at him the way you always did, like he mattered. Like his fears and his uncertainties weren’t hurdles, just parts of him that you could hold with the same gentleness you held everything else.
You're a fucking dream.
For a few moments, the floral bouquet resting lightly in your arms, his tears barely contained. You tilt your chin up, eyes still carrying that same warmth that makes his knees feel suspiciously unsteady. 
“So…” You pause, letting the word hang in the air like a gentle invitation. “Are you busy for the rest of the day?”
He blinks, the question startling him out of his reverie. “Uh…”
There’s that teasing gleam again. You roll your eyes, but it’s playful, a faint smile tugging at your lips. 
“Not for that.”
A sharp, nervous laugh escapes him before he can stop it, his cheeks flushing.
“Right,” he breathes. “No—Yeah, I can be free today.” He rubs the back of his neck, feeling that slight scratchiness of the sweater he still hasn’t rolled back down, and a wave of awkward self-consciousness washes through him. “Why?”
Your fingers flex around the stems of the bouquet as you look up at him, so much affection in your expression that he wonders if his heart can handle it. 
“Because I want to spend time with you… if you’re up for it.”
A warmth flutters through his chest, soft and giddy, making him feel as though he’s standing on the edge of something hopeful. He wets his lips, nodding. 
“I—I’d love that.”
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He followed you up the narrow staircase, heart thumping with excitement at being welcomed into your space. It felt surreal, having spent so many days imagining what your home might look like—wondering if it would match the warmth you exuded—and now he was here, taking it all in with wide, fascinated eyes. Almost like the kids in his class. 
The flat upstairs was an eclectic oasis of mismatched pillows and faded rugs, vintage trinkets and framed prints. Everything seemed handpicked with care, though there was no strict colour scheme or aesthetic; it was simply you. 
Immediately, he found himself smiling. It was like walking into a technicolour daydream, a comforting patchwork of old and new. A soft blanket half-draped over an armchair, a scattering of books on the coffee table, and a hint of something sweet in the air—maybe a candle you’d recently burned.
He was acutely aware that he wanted to brush his fingers across everything, to learn more about you from the objects that made this space yours. Instead, he hovered in the middle of the living area, trying to keep his nosiness in check. 
He’d told himself a thousand times not to be weird, but his eyes kept drifting to the shelves crammed with random curios, or the cosy throws that didn’t quite match in colour but somehow still belonged together.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” You turned to him, a gentle smile lighting your features as you placed the bouquet down. 
“Yeah,” he answered quickly—too quickly, but he couldn’t help it. The idea of sharing an evening with you, in your home, felt overwhelmingly domestic. “Absolutely,” he added, more composed this time.
“Good.” Your entire face brightened in response, clapping your hands together with an almost mischievous air. Without further ado, you strolled over to the small open-plan kitchen. “That means you get to be my sous chef.”
He walked toward you, leaning against the counter. “Seriously?”
“Oh, absolutely. You don’t eat for free in my house,” you teased, trying to adopt an air of authority. “You gotta work for it.”
Even though you were clearly joking, his chest flooded with warmth. 
“Yes, Chef,” 
You snorted a laugh at that, pulling open the fridge door and glancing inside. 
“Okay… I went shopping recently, so I’ve got a lot of stuff. Definitely vegetables, so maybe we can do something with pasta, or a ratatouille.” You kept talking, your voice lilting with easy excitement. “Are you fussy? I think I have some meat in here if you’d prefer that, or we could make soup—although it was kind of hot today, so maybe soup isn’t ideal. Or we could—”
Your words came out in a single breath, a rapid-fire list of possibilities. It was adorable, watching you in your element: your hair shifting slightly as you leaned into the fridge, rummaging for ideas, lost in your own thoughts. His stomach tightened at how earnest you sounded, so eager to accommodate him.
He stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, feeling the softness of your sweater beneath his palm. 
“Pasta’s fine,” he said softly, gently drawing you out of your rambling.
You glanced over your shoulder, cheeks warming just a bit, as though you’d just realised how fast you were talking. 
“Yeah,” you agreed, shutting the fridge partway, “okay—pasta. Pasta is safe. Hard to mess up.”
“Hey, you’d be surprised.” He slid over to rest his hip on the counter, tilting his head and letting himself enjoy the way you flushed. “When I was younger, I didn’t realise you had to… y’know, put the pasta in water.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“Yep. Didn’t occur to me.” He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Threw it straight in the pan.”
“Are you seriously telling me you burnt raw pasta?”
“Look,” he huffed, hands raised in mock surrender, “I am a lot better now, alright?”
“I should hope so,” you teased, a burst of laughter escaping you, brightening the entire flat. 
Reaching into the fridge again, you pulled out a bag of fresh vegetables, a small block of cheese, and a carton of cream—handing them off to him. Then you shut the fridge, leaving the two of you close in the small space.
That’s when Steve’s eyes landed on something pinned to the fridge door. A piece of paper, slightly worn at the edges, the pencil lines smudged but still recognisable. 
The sketch of you he’d drawn back in his classroom.
He froze, gaze locked on it. The memory flooded back—heart drumming in his chest, trying to capture your likeness with hidden, trembling hands. He hadn’t expected you to care that much about it, let alone display it so proudly.
When you noticed him staring, your expression turned a little bashful, a soft laugh slipping from your lips. 
“I… figured it deserved a place of honour,” you teased, brushing a fingertip against one corner of the paper. He could hear the truth behind the joke.
He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, his voice characteristically gentle. 
“You kept it?”
“Course I did.” You replied, echoing something you’d once said to him. “Told you I always wanted my portrait done.” 
A flush crept up his neck, and he rubbed it awkwardly. 
“Yeah, but…” He paused, unsure how to convey the weight of this small gesture. You’d taken a simple drawing—something he hadn’t even considered that good—and made it into a keepsake.
Before he could figure out what to say, you cut in, a casual shrug that did nothing to hide the fondness in your eyes. 
“I wanted to put it somewhere I could see it...”
Emotion welled in his chest, warm and insistent. He didn’t say anything right away. All he managed was a small, lopsided smile that hopefully conveyed some fraction of the tenderness he felt. 
You felt slightly awkward under his gaze, clearing your throat as you handed him the knife and pointed to the chopping board. Confirming to him you trusted him enough not to butcher your vegetables—or your kitchen.
He lays everything out in front of him, reaching to roll up his sleeves. He hesitates—just for a moment—before deciding to go through with it. There’s no point in hiding now that it’s all out in the open, but the brush of air against his marks still feels foreign.
When he glances at you, you’re not even looking. Not staring, not reacting, not bothered in the slightest. And something about that settles him. He wonders if this is what it could always be like—if, someday, this could be routine. If your space could become a place where he doesn’t have to hide. A place where he can just exist.
He set about dicing an onion, practicing the technique Robin had drilled into him: fingers tucked in, careful horizontal and vertical cuts. It wasn’t Michelin-worthy, but he liked to think he’d developed some culinary skills.
You, meanwhile, grabbed a block of cheese from the fridge and started grating. 
“So, I’m guessing you know how to cook a little now, huh?” you asked casually, taking in the even slices of onion gathering on the board.
A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. 
“Yeah, I do,” he said, scraping the chopped onion into a neat pile. “Kinda like it, actually.”
“Oh?” you prompted, quirking a brow as though intrigued by this domestic side of him.
“Robin—I’ve mentioned her, right?” When you nodded, he continued, “Well, after she saw what a disaster I was in the kitchen firsthand, basically forced me to learn.”
You laughed gently, the sound like warm honey. “I feel sorry for her.”
“Ouch,” Steve shot you a mock-offended look, then shrugged. “To be fair, she was super patient—more than I deserved sometimes.”
You nodded and he went quiet for a moment, focusing on the task in front of him as memories crowded his mind. He could see Robin’s exasperated grin as she dangled a spatula in front of him, telling him if he didn’t at least stir the sauce, she’d let it burn. 
He remembered the nights he couldn’t get out of bed—nights where his own mind weighed him down like lead—and how she would simply appear, commandeer his kitchen, and coax him into joining her.
At first, it had been embarrassing. He hated the thought of needing someone to guide him through the simplest tasks, hated the idea that he was helpless. But Robin had this uncanny knack of turning it into fun—into a moment of victory, however small. 
If he managed to perfectly chop a pepper or make a sauce without scalding it, she’d give him a triumphant little fist bump, like he’d just won a gold medal. 
Over time, cooking became a small but tangible source of confidence for him—proof that he could create something from nothing, sustain himself with his own two hands.
He cleared his throat, blinking back into the present. 
“She didn’t let me off that easy. Dragged me into the kitchen most days—but you know, she actually helped a lot.” He went on, sliding the diced onion into a bowl you’d handed him. “Once she and I got busier, we stopped doing it as much, but…” He gestured around your cluttered kitchen, eyes travelling from the mismatched mugs on your shelf to the bright potholders hanging on the wall. “It’s nice.”
He didn’t say the rest out loud, but you could deduce what he meant. He liked making something, building something. He liked feeling safe. 
“You know,” you say softly, glancing up from the cheese you’d just finished grating, “she sounds amazing. I’d love to meet her someday.”
He sets down the knife he was holding, taking a moment to wipe his hands on a dish towel. The genuine excitement lighting his face is almost boyish. 
“Yeah, she’d… she’d really like that, actually.” There’s a flicker of pride in his eyes—like he can’t wait to show you off, show Robin that he’s managed to find someone this wonderful, someone who sees him. “She already mentioned wanting to meet you, so we’ll, uh—” He swallows, looking delighted at the prospect. “We’ll plan something. Once we’re, y’know, all free.”
“Hmm,” you give a thoughtful nod, a small smirk tugging at your lips, “so you’ve been talking about me?”
“Uh, yeah?” He immediately flushes, cheeks warming under your gaze. “‘Course I have. Why wouldn’t I?”
You shrug, your eyes dipping away for a half-second before meeting his again. 
“It’s just… it’s good to know you’re, I don’t know, serious.”
“Did I make you think I wasn’t?” He asks, a hint of genuine concern threading through his voice. He can feel his heart rate pick up—he doesn’t want there to be any room for doubt.
“No!” You shake your head, flustered. “No—not at all. I just mean—”
He steps closer, determined to chase away any lingering uncertainty in your eyes. He doesn’t know what comes over him—maybe it’s the weight of everything that’s happened today, or maybe it’s the way your voice falters, just slightly, sending a surge of confidence through him.
He feels safe here. Your reassurance settles something in him, makes him bold. And now, he wants to test it. To push just a little further, to see how far this newfound feeling can take him. 
To prove—to himself more than anyone—that he hasn’t lost it.
“Because last night,” he says, voice dropping a little lower, feeling how the teasing tone feels on his tongue, “you wanna know what I did?” 
He leans in, invading your personal space in that deliberate way that makes your breath catch. Your reply gets stuck in your throat, and you simply blink at him, gaze darting from his mouth to his eyes, waiting.
Gotcha.
He leans down, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he confesses.
“I spent the whole night alone in bed, thinking about what it would’ve been like to have you there with me.”
Your eyes widen, and for a moment, you draw in a quiet, shaky breath.
Christ—confidence looks good on him. The way he’s looking at you, like a man starved, like he’s been holding this back. And now you’re left wondering—has he always felt this way?
With your expression emboldening him, he dips his head to press his mouth to yours. The kiss starts slow, a gentle lingering of lips, but it deepens as he grips your waist. He wants—needs—you to know how fervently he means every word. 
He pours it all into the press of his mouth: the latent hunger that’s been building since the first moment he realised how important you were becoming, the searing need to prove that last night was never about not wanting you. 
When you make a soft, breathy sound that vibrates against his mouth, his entire body goes warm. His heartbeat pounds so fiercely it’s almost dizzying, and in that moment he’s sure he’s a goner, absolutely done for—you’ve got him.
He tugs back just enough to look at you properly. Your cheeks are flushed, eyes gleaming in the low light of the kitchen, and the sight of you nearly undoes him. You tilt your head, a hesitant little smile ghosting your lips. 
“Hey,” you murmur, voice soft but sure, “we don’t have to do anything if you’re not—”
“I am,” he says, voice rough with need. “Fuck—I am.” His hand cradles your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek in a way that makes your lashes flutter. “Do you trust me?”
Your gaze flicks to his, warm and steady. “Yeah. But… dinner—”
He can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes him. Dinner? Only you would be so concerned about practicalities when he’s two seconds from combusting. 
Still, he recognises the gentle out you’re giving him, a final check-in to see if he really wants this. 
And, oh, he does. 
“It can wait,” he promises, dropping his voice to that intimate purr that already makes your stomach flutter. “Please just—please, let me do this for you.” 
Let him show you. Let him take care of you. 
You meet his eyes, taking in the flush staining his cheeks, the raw want practically radiating off him. You manage a nod, hardly able to get the word yes out before he’s on you again—his mouth against yours with a heat that has you spinning.
It starts hungry, and only grows more desperate when your hands slide up over his shoulders, fingers curling into the short hair at the nape of his neck. A low groan escapes him, his body thrumming with adrenaline and desire. 
He forgot how good it could feel, how right it could be, to have someone he wants this badly—someone who wants him just as fiercely.
He crowds in close, big hands gripping your hips firmly, and in one swift motion he lifts you onto the counter. A startled gasp leaves you, and you toss a quick glance around as though you can’t quite believe the two of you are about to do this. 
“Here?” you ask, voice breathy with surprise.
“Yeah,” a cocky half-grin tips the corner of his mouth. “Right here.”
Any way he can have you. 
Every nerve in his body screams for more contact, more of you—he needs to taste, needs to feel.
He slots himself between your thighs, leaning in again to reclaim your lips. The tension in your muscles loosens as his hands drift beneath your shirt, sliding across the warm plane of your sides. The soft curves and dips of your skin drag a ragged breath out of him, especially when your hips roll against his.
You can’t help the little whimper that bubbles up, and the sound propels him deeper into the kiss. His entire body tingles with awareness of you, from the slight shiver that courses through you at his touch to the way your nails lightly scrape at his scalp.
When your fingers thread into his hair, a deep, full-throated groan vibrates from his chest—he’s powerless to stop it.
That breathy chuckle you give in response makes him shiver. You angle his head, your palm cupping the back of his neck. 
“You like that, huh?” you tease, eyes glinting with mischief.
His head falls back slightly as he exhales.
“Fuck—yeah—yes.” He’s beyond self-conscious at this point, need flooding through every cell. He rests his forehead against yours, breathing in the faint scent of your shampoo, before trailing his hand down to the waistband of your jeans.
“Gonna need you to do that again for me,” he murmurs, voice filled with confidence and trembling want.
You blink, momentarily puzzled, until he starts to tug at your jeans, his fingers hooking into both denim and underwear. Then you realise exactly what he means—and you waste no time in helping him rid you of the final barriers standing between his hands and your bare skin.
He tugs the denim down, heart thundering as he sinks to his knees between your thighs. He’s wound so tight he can practically hear his pulse in his ears. 
From his vantage point below, he takes in the sight of you, drawn to every curve and line. There’s something indescribably beautiful about seeing you like this, so undone, so ready.
He slides his hands over your legs, fingertips grazing soft skin and eliciting a shiver that makes his chest swell with pride. It’s been so long since he’s done this—too long. The anxious flutter in his stomach almost rivals the heat pooling in his lower body. 
But he wants to do this right. Needs to.
When he glances up again, you’re watching him through half-lidded eyes, a flush creeping up your neck. The way you part your lips as you inhale, the anticipation evident in your features—it all spurs him on. He lets out a shaky breath, leaning in to brush his mouth over your inner thigh first, planting a series of teasing, barely-there kisses as he makes his way closer.
Your hand tangles in his hair, fingers curling in a firm but not painful grip. It’s a silent command,  a reminder that you’re right there, in this with him. 
He shudders at the rush of arousal that flares through him. 
“Stop teasing,” you finally mutter, voice edged with impatience.
He flushes hot at your tone—low, wanting, confident. 
“Sorry, angel,” he murmurs, the endearment rolling off his tongue like a promise. “Gonna make it up to you, all right?”
For both yesterday, and right now.
You give a quick nod, and he takes that as all the permission he needs. Gently, he lifts one of your legs to rest over his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin just above your knee. Then he settles in, leaning forward until he’s exactly where he needs to be.
The first flick of his tongue draws a throaty moan from you, and his own breath stumbles at the sheer erotic charge of the moment. He’s nearly lightheaded with how good you taste, how you respond to every shift of his lips, every press of his mouth. 
It’s intoxicating, fueling him to explore every sensitive spot he can find.
“Should’ve done this last night,” in a husky, almost delirious voice. He hates that he ran from you, from this, even for a second. But it’s fueling him now, pushing him to worship every inch of you until he’s certain you’ll never doubt how badly he wants you. “Should’ve had you then,” he breathes, “So fucking stupid.”
Your fingers tighten in his hair, tugging him closer, and he lets out a muffled groan. You’re already trembling under his touch, each quiet whimper echoing in the small kitchen. The tile beneath his knees is hard, but he barely registers any discomfort—he’s too lost in you. The lust is overshadowed by a tenderness, a desire not just to please you, but to prove something to himself. 
That he can still be this person. 
Then you gasp, hips shifting forward in search of more, and your free hand flies out to grab at his arm. The moment your palm lands on the rough, uneven skin, his stomach lurches.
He half-expects to feel you flinch. But instead, you grip him tighter, holding on as though you need him close. That realisation sends a bolt of raw adrenaline right through his core, and he doubles down, dragging his tongue in deep, purposeful strokes.
Your desperate noises urge him on, and he moves in closer, pressing you more firmly against the counter. The scent of you and the haze of arousal in the air blur his senses. He’s focused on nothing but your pleasure—on coaxing more of those shaky, breathless moans out of you, each one sweeter than the last.
When your fingers tighten again in his hair, he lifts his gaze for a heartbeat, catching the dazed, blissed-out expression on your face, a wave of heat flashing through him,
He’s done for. 
He feels the telltale flutter in your core, the way your thighs tense around his head and the broken syllables of his name falling from your lips. His own heartbeat stutters at the sound of you gasping, higher and higher until you’re almost pleading.
“Steve—” you manage, voice trembling on the edge. “I’m gonna—”
He groans low in his throat, pressing in closer. 
“Yeah?” he murmurs hungrily. “C’mon baby—please—wanna feel you—”
That’s all it takes for you to come apart, back arching and legs clenching, trapping him in a burst of sensation. 
He keeps his mouth moving, coaxing every last pulse out of you. The tight press of your thighs around his head should be suffocating, but to him it’s pure adrenaline. He savours the moment, humming with open satisfaction at how your body shudders under his relentless focus, until you finally push lightly at his head, too sensitive to handle more.
He reluctantly withdraws, breathing heavy as he looks up at you. Your cheeks are flushed, lips parted, chest rising and falling while you come down from your high. For a split second, he stands there on his knees, watching your every expression like you’re the most captivating thing he’s ever seen.
“Was that… all right?” he asks, voice almost shy now that the immediate rush is ebbing, your release still glistening on his chin.
You offer him a dazed little nod, and he can’t help the proud grin spreading across his face as he rises to his feet. The minute his lips touch yours again, you taste yourself on him—a sharp, dizzying reminder of just how thoroughly he’s had you. He smiles into the kiss, smugness in the way his hand cups the side of your face.
Your own hands move with eagerness, tugging at the hem of his sweater. The first spike of panic darts through him, and he tenses. 
No. Not Yet.
He knows what it would mean—bared skin, the possibility of further questions, it's unpredictable. His heart thuds as he pulls back minutely, not wanting to flee but unable to hide the flicker of fear in his eyes.
You pause, taking in the hesitation etched across his features. 
“Not ready?” you ask, gentle but direct.
His lips part, but no words come out at first. A flush creeps up his neck, embarrassment and self-consciousness colliding in his chest. 
“I… I’m sorry,” he finally mutters, feeling every bit as uncertain as he did the night before. 
So much for the surge of confidence.
Your brows knit in understanding, and you nod softly. There’s no accusation in your expression, no frustration. Instead, you lean up to kiss him again—light and sweet and reassuring. 
“Can I still take care of you?” you whisper when you pull back, searching his gaze.
Take care of him. 
“You… you don’t have to do that,” he mumbles, voice rough at the edges.
“I know,” you say, voice calm but insistent. One hand drifts to the fly of his jeans, carefully brushing over the hard outline straining there. He lets out a hiss of breath, tension sizzling through his entire body at the contact. 
“I want to,” you continue, thumb tracing a light pattern along the fabric. “Please?” You look up at him, meeting those warm brown eyes, “I want to make you feel good, too.”
And how could anyone say no to that?
“Fuck, angel… all right.” He exhales a shaky laugh, tipping his forehead to yours. “Yeah, all right.”
You free him from his jeans—he’s so hard it almost hurts, and the cool air hits him like a shock. Every nerve ending is lit up, thrumming with excitement and a bit of residual caution. But the second your fingers curl around him, that caution is drowned out by pure pleasure. 
His head falls forward as soon as your hand wraps around him, burying his face in the crook of your neck with a low, trembling groan.
It’s been so long since he’s been touched like this, and he can’t contain the steady stream of whimpers and half-broken words spilling from his lips. Every movement of your hand drags another rasping exhale out of him.
“God—” he mutters, voice pitched higher than usual. “You—fuck, you feel—”
His breath hitches again as you start slow, deliberately teasing him. He can’t help the ragged little laugh that escapes, face still hidden against your throat. 
“You’re killing me.”
But even then, there’s no mistaking the appreciation in his tone. He likes the way you’re taking your time, savouring the vision of him, watching him go boneless under your touch. His entire body thrums with the urge to thrust into your palm; he’s holding back with every bit of willpower he has, trying not to lose himself too quickly.
When you chuckle softly, your breath hot against his ear, he lets out a needy little sound that he never planned to let slip. 
“Shit,” he curses under his breath, shoulders shaking with pent-up tension. “I—I can’t—”
“Does it feel good?” you tease, your voice edging on playful, as though you already know the answer.
“Yes,” he blurts, shoulders jerking as a ripple of pleasure sparks through him. “Yes, it—it’s so fucking good.” His fingers dig into your shoulders, gripping the fabric of your shirt. “Not gonna last—”
You giggle, and he could swear that sound alone just about knocks the air out of his lungs. His hips jerk forward involuntarily, drawing a guttural noise from deep in his chest.
“You gonna cum for me, Steve?” you ask, voice lilting.
Oh, you’re cruel.
That sweet look on your face—so deceptively innocent, when he knows better. Like a siren, the way your voice teeters between soft and sultry, pulling him under, not allowing him to summon a coherent thought.
His cheeks are bright red, eyes shining with a haze of lust. His mouth opens, but he’s too far gone to form sentences, so he just nods, hair flopping into his face in a disheveled mess. 
“Yeah,” he breathes, tone shaky. “I’m close—I, shit—”
You give him a knowing, devilish grin and draw him down into a kiss—slow, thorough, open-mouthed. He tries to respond, tries to match your pace, but the rising wave of release scrambles his thoughts and tangles his tongue. 
All he can manage are broken moans into your mouth as pleasure overtakes him, and you drink them in eagerly. His orgasm slams into him so fast it nearly buckles his knees, and he grips you tighter, riding out each pulse as it wracks his body.
You keep stroking, guiding him through it, until he sags against you, spent and trembling. His head comes to rest on your shoulder, breath ragged in your ear.
The feeling of you envelops him—your clean hand softly cradling his face, thumb grazing the curve of his cheek. It’s such a gentle, grounding gesture that it helps his racing heart settle.
After a few seconds, he manages to straighten, eyes flicking down to the evidence of his release painting your thighs. There’s a flash of panic in his gaze, but there’s also a thrum of arousal still sparking in his veins at the sight. He fumbles to tuck himself back into his jeans, cheeks more red. 
“Fuck—I’m sorry,” he mutters, his voice still rough.
“Shh,” you say simply, pulling him in for a kiss. He melts into it, relieved and just a little awed by how casual and reassuring you seem, like there’s not an ounce of shame. When you pull back, you brush a few strands of sweaty hair off his forehead. 
“Did you enjoy it?”
He lets out a huff of laughter—surprised you’d even need to ask. His face is still flushed, and he ducks his head. 
“Uh… yeah,” he says, a helpless grin curling his mouth. “Couldn’t you tell?”
“Good.” You give him a knowing smile. “Would’ve broken my heart if I couldn’t do that again.”
“Really?” he asks, blinking in genuine amazement.
“Mhm,” you tease, leaning in to peck him lightly on the lips. “Never gonna be able to cook normally in here again, though.”
That makes him laugh, a loose, buoyant sound that brightens his features. 
“Um, if you don’t mind, I’d like to go to the bathroom and… clean up a little.” You clear your throat, cheeks still pink. “Before we finish cooking.”
“Oh—shit, of course,” he says hurriedly, stepping back to make room for you. He tries to sound collected, but he’s still a little breathless.
You hop off the counter, bending to gather your discarded clothes. As you head across the room, you glance back, noticing him following your every move. A playful wink from you makes him chuckle under his breath, still riding the high of what just transpired.
Alone in the kitchen, he turns back to the neglected pot and quickly re-focuses himself. With a shaky exhale, he slides the diced onions into it. He sets the knife aside for when you return, mind swirling with the memory of your touch—the same memory that he would certainly be revisiting in the very near future. 
When you finally emerge, you’re wearing a pair of soft pajamas—something that looks cosy enough to curl up in. He catches the sight of you out of the corner of his eye and can’t help but beam, feeling that giddy high in his ribs all over again. He steps forward, gently tugging you back to your perch on the countertop.
“Hey now,” you warn, eyes dancing with good humour. “I’m not sure if I’m ready for round two.”
“No—neither am I,” he admits, pressing a quick, warm kiss to your cheek. “But I got this—just sit there and, I don’t know, look pretty.”
Your playful groan of protest is minimal, and he can’t stop smiling as you settle back. You watch him shuffle to the far side of the kitchen to grab a clove of garlic. He’s turning up the heat and chopping again with that same contented hum in his chest, as though he’s stepped into some domestic paradise.
He thinks about how someday, when he’s more at peace with his body, he wants to show you all of himself. He only hopes that next time, he’ll be a little bolder, a little braver—so he can give you everything you deserve.
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lowkeyerror · 5 months ago
Text
Help With The Curriculum pt 2
Agatha Harkness x Reader
Word Count: 2.4k
Notes: Smut, strap, dry humping, choking, fingering, 2x use of daddy in non-sexually explicity context, dirty talk, lap-sitting, mentions of edging, mentions of exhibitionlism, mentions of overstimulation, Rio Vidal 😩
Summary: You sit in on one of Agatha’s lectures and enjoy some time with her during passing period... however that time with Agatha might have attracted the attention of someone else.
An: Not promising a fully fledged fic but ill keep posting parts of this until I lose interest. Also couldn't help but add Rio... eventual Rio x Agatha x Reader smut but idk if it'll just be one part or permanent in this fic 🙇‍♀️
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You end up spending Saturday and Sunday at Agatha’s. It wasn’t planned, but it was hard to leave. You already felt so comfortable with the woman. The only reason you found yourself back at home had to do with the papers you were supposed to grade Friday.
You spent most of your Monday grading the work. Images and thoughts of the other professor poked at the back of your mind, but you tried to stay focused. You figured that you could text her as a reward for finishing the grading.
Your phone dings as you’re on the final paper. You think about letting it wait, considering you’re almost done, but it dings again. The impulses get the better of you and you pick it up.
Agatha: I have an 8am tomorrow
Agatha: If you want to sit in on my lecture
You smile, knowing that you’d be in her classroom bright and early to watch her teach.
Y/n: I’ll be there
Agatha: Your class starts 15 after mine ends. It’d probably take you 5 mins to walk over…
Y/n: Probably, why?
Agatha: Well you said you wanted to fuck me in the lecture hall. You think you can get me off in 10 mins?
Y/n: I can do it in 5 ;-)
Agatha: We'll see about that professor
You now had a better reason to look forward to your Tuesday. After those messages you didn't have it in you to further grade the last assignment. You opted to just give that one lucky student an A.
For the rest of the day your mind wandered to how you were going to use those 5 minutes to get Agatha off. You couldn’t help but smile as dirty thoughts filled your head.
You’d be playing mind games from the second you stepped inside of her classroom. Your usual casual classroom attire was being quickly abandoned for something that better fit your title of professor. A grey 3-piece Herringbone suit. You wore your hair back, out of your face.
You had a pocket chain clipped to your pants, while a watch sat on your wrist. There was something special packed in your pants that you planned on using to tease the other professor.
You filed into her classroom with the other students. Opposite to her approach in your classroom, you sat in the back corner of her lecture hall. You wanted her to see you. With your legs spread open and a hand tentatively resting high up on your thigh.
Your other hand held up your head as you locked your eyes on her. When her eyes met yours, you could see them narrow at your appearance. You sent her a polite smile, which you could tell she was fighting not to return.
She briefly welcomed her students back and then  immediately got into the lecture. There was an assertive flip to her character that intrigued you. You could get lost in her tone of speaking. She hardly looked at you, but when she did, you were always readjusting the crotch of your pants.
“Your exam is tomorrow; multiple choice and 3 short answer questions. All of the answers should be in your notes, I’d study them thoroughly. You are dismissed.”
Her classroom cleared much faster than yours had the previous Friday. You had waited for the last student to leave before rising from your seat. You took your time locking the doors to the room, before heading down to Agatha.
You could tell that she had a sly remark on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t get a chance to speak as your lips attacked hers. You were rough as you kissed her, complete disregard for pleasantries.
You pressed her up against the desk. Enough to where she could feel the strap through your pants, she moaned as you slowly rocked your hips. No words were necessary, only the sounds of your breathing.
Your hand reached around her front, eager to plunge into her wetness. Once you make it past her waistband, you have to hold yourself back from taking her bottoms completely off. Her panties are ruined.
“Fuck, I made you this wet, just sitting there? You saw my hand on this big fake cock, and couldn’t help but make a mess of yourself, professor?”
She throws her head back as you rub her clit, “Look so sexy baby, I want you inside me.”
You chuckle darkly into her ear, “All weekend wasn’t enough huh? You just want me to fill you up every day.”
You keep your thumb on her clit and easily push 2 fingers inside of her. Your free hand loops around to rest on her neck. She tilts her head back to be able to meet your lips. You can feel her clenching around your fingers already.
“Desperate fucking slut, so needy for me. I’d take you like this for hours, till that puddle in your panties becomes a fucking ocean. Make you cum enough to coat my strap in your juices. Have your filthy mouth suck it off, just to spread you open and shove it in that hungry hole. The way you’re sucking up my fingers, fuck I know you need my cock buried inside of you.”
She begins to pant, “I want it. I want your cock, please. Please I’ll do anything, just let me have it.”
You pout, “Aww we don’t have time right now Aggie. I need you to cum on fingers so I can shove them in your mouth and go teach my class.”
She whines and starts moving with your fingers, “Y/n.”
You kiss her forehead, “I know baby, I know. You have to be good for me. Do what I say and I’ll make it worth your while, professor.”
You squeeze her throat a little tighter and pick up the pace with your fingers. Agatha lets out a shrill scream, causing you to cover her mouth quickly. You feel her slump against you, causing you to slow your pace before fully removing your fingers from her.
Before you can move away from her, she grabs your wrist, guiding your fingers into her mouth. She allows the tips to hit the back of her throat while keeping eye contact with you.
Your fingers fall out of her mouth and you delicately grab her by the chin. You peck her lips sweetly.
“You owe me one hell of a reward, Professor L/n,” she mumbles.
Her hand trails down the front of your suit pants until she finds what she’s looking for. She squeezes the toy lightly, palming it with her hand.
“I keep my promises, Professor Harkness. I still have a few to make good on, but in the meantime, I have a lecture to teach,” you wink at her.
She steals on last kiss from you, “Don’t be late.”
Agatha playfully smacks your ass when you turn around and you laugh at her antics. As you reach the exit of her classroom you turn back for a second, “Oh, and Professor Harkness. I really enjoyed your lesson.”
You leave her lecture room with a smile on your face. On the way to your own class, you find yourself walking in stride with fellow history professor, Rio Vidal.
“You’re getting awfully cozy with Professor Harkness.”
You shrug, “She needed some help with the curriculum, wanted a fresh new perspective.”
The brown eyed woman hums, “Hmm, I’ve never known her to ask for help.”
“Well, maybe you just don’t have much help to offer her these days,” you match her tone.
“I heard she sat in on your lecture, mind if I do the same?” She disregards your last statement.
Again you shrug, “Feel free, Professor Vidal.”
You feel her gaze trail up your side profile. It lingers on your pants, and you have to stop yourself from readjusting.
“You can call me Rio.”
“Y/n,” you say curtly.
Once at your classroom, you already have a few students waiting outside. You let them in and head to the front of the class. Rio takes a seat in the front corner of the lecture.
As promised before break you spend the whole class reviewing. The last thing you do is hand out the assignments you graded yesterday. You sit at your desk, eyes drifting over to Rio.
“Well, I can see now why everyone is so enticed by you. You’re charming, smart, and well-dressed. No wonder students and professors alike are always muttering about you,” she walks to stand in front of your desk.
Your face heats under her gaze, “I’m hearing about my  reputation more now than ever before.”
She stares at you like she could devour you. Her hands rest wide on your desk and her head drops to look at you.
“I don’t think she could handle what you have to offer, cupcake,” Rio leans into the desk.
“What are you talking about?” You sit back straight in your chair, keeping a calm attitude.
“Oh, now you want to play dumb professor,” she leans in further to whisper in your ear, “I heard you two early. Trust me kid, I know what Agatha sounds like. There’s only one reason I’d hear her making those kind of noises.”
“Jealous or something?”
She smiles widely shaking her head. She walks around to the side of the desk, “Not of you. Like I said, I’m very familiar with Agatha. I’m less familiar with you."
She gets on her knees and crawls over to you. Her hands wrap around your leg to rest on your knees, “ I need to know you better.”
“Don’t even think about it Vidal,” you scoot back away from her.
“I'd listen to her if I were you, Rio,” Agatha’s voice echoes across the room.
Rio only smirks and stand to her feet, “Hello, my love. Long time, no chat.”
“And I’d like to keep it that way,” Agatha quickly makes her way to the desk. Her hands rest on your shoulders as she stares at Rio.
The brown eyed woman frowns, “How long are we going to play this game, Agatha?”
“Play time is over Rio” Agatha says.
Rio shakes her head, “You fucking some hot, younger, girl, doesn't mean shit. She only fucked you as a rebound Y/n.”
“You’re only saying that because you wished you fucked her first,” Agatha shoots back at Rio.
“If I had 5 minutes alone with her, she would’ve taken me over the desk,” Rio glares at Agatha.
“You always did have a thing for sloppy seconds,” Agatha returns.
“I take it you two have a past,” you interject.
“Present, and a future, cupcake,” Rio winks at you.
You stand up, “I’m not your cupcake, Professor Vidal. I only plan on saying this one time, so I hope you’re a good listener. I. Don’t. Like. Sharing.”
“Oooo daddy runs a little hot I see,” Rio teases you.
You can feel your jaw twitch, “You’re a fucking brat.”
Rio bats her eyelashes at you, “You going to tame me, daddy?”
Agatha cuts in her tone stern, “Rio, leave now.”
Rio whines the blue-eyed woman’s name, “Agatha.”
“Out,” Agatha reinforces.
The woman huffs out an air of irritation before leaving the classroom.
“You know I figured you hooked up with Professor Vidal, but I didn’t picture her being such a brat,” you sit back down when you address Agatha.
The woman sits in your lap, facing you. Her hands play with the hairs on the back of your neck. She can feel the dildo pressing against her, but refrains from moving.
“She’s untamable,” Agatha says dismissively.
You scoff, “No one is untamable.”
Agatha rolls her eyes, “Trust me, Rio lives for the thrill of the punishment.”
“You punish her a lot?”
“I suppose I did,” Agatha meets your eyes.
“Tell me about it.”
Your hands found purchase on her hips. You guided her slowly back and forth across the length of the strap in your pants.
“One time I made go out with a toy inside of her and no panties. I spanked her for every wet spot she left when she was sitting,” Agatha says and you guide her a little faster.
“More.”
“I slapped her cunt until it was nice and tender and then I made her bounce on my strap until she came 7 times.”
You press Agatha down firmer on you, “Another.”
You were pulsing at the thought of Agatha dominating Professor Vidal. Her bratty attitude had upset you, but it had also turned you on. You wish you could put her in her place.
“I edged her for 2 hours until she nearly collapsed after squirting harder than I've ever seen anyone squirt in my life. Seeing her face down in her own juices, eyes fluttering, tongue out trying to taste herself on the floor. God, that was my favorite.”
You groan wanting more than fuck Agatha right here on your desk. She’s about to cum again while haven't came once today. It feels you are torturing yourself.
It's as if Agatha had read your thoughts. She sticks on of her hands down your pants. She slips it past the harness to feel your clit.
“You want to cum with me, professor,” Agatha smirks as she rubs your clit.
“Fuck yes,” you moan, laying your head on her chest.
It didn't take much more for you to cum together. Your breath was ragged, and your hunger for each other was only partially satiated.
“Listen up, ‘Mrs. I don’t like sharing’ if you’re going to try to become brat tamer of the year, you aren’t doing it without me,” Agatha says placing a kiss on your cheek.
She attempts to get up, but you hold her place, “Fine, when she comes to see you,  call me. I want us both to have fun with her.”
Agatha laughs, “She’s irritating in the way you just want to fuck it out of her, isn’t she?”
You nod, “But you can’t let her know that. Her ego is too big, that’s why she’s bratty now.”
Agatha agrees with you, “Good point, I have to go teach my next class, but I’ll see you tonight. Your place, for my reward.”
She kisses you sweetly, once more  before exiting your classroom.
Now you had two things on your mind. Agatha’s reward and your opportunity to punish Rio. Both things that you were very much looking forward too.
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shnowyfox · 4 months ago
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Jollyformers AU (
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so basically i turned the holiday themed au. i haven't had the time to flesh it out obviously. TFONE megop regardless of this au is Last Christmas by Wham!
lore! so instead of cogs they have sleigh bells! usually worn via a collar though harnesses are worn as well to hold more bells that are decorative only. Idk what im doing with transformation yet but i think either it's completely replaced by the bell's allowing flight, or, transformation into creatures to pull the sleigh (basically everyone has a beast alt, deer and ungulates being the most common) Optimus obviously being a reindeer, megatron (krampus) is a goat to fit with his krampus thing, b-127 (glee-127, Badassaclaus) is supposed to be elf like with his g1 style horns supposed to look like elf ears too but they can be seen as budding antlers as well, and elita I haven't drawn yet but she's either a reindeer too or gazelle. (also considering giraffe with that neck dayum girl)
"Prime" has been replaced with "Claus"
hats are just for jolly good fun. like this whole au. and a bit of religious healing. anything goes rlly.
and now a snippet of a rewrite I never was able to finish up. Some of this HAS been retconned. i'm still working at it. mainly the occupation and the backstory stuff. (Context: Bartholomeus is another name for Krampus i dont remember where or when but that's what Megatronus has been substituted with.)
Deer Trax: (chuckles) Okay, fellas! Thanks for the jolly start. You want to give me another one?
Sentry 1: You’re naughty!
Deer Trax: I’ll take that as a no.
Elf-16: (grunts) Hey! Watch where you’re going!
Sentry 1: Oh… What did you say, no-bell?
Elf-16: Sorry, sir, I didn’t mean you. I was referring to the elf who was behind you.
Sentry 2: What? Where’d he go?
Elf-16: The joyous red and blue elf? Has a big grin, merry cheer, gives off a yankee candle scent?
Sentry 1: Where is he?
Elf-16: He went that way.
Sentry 1: When I get my hands on that elf…
Elf-16: All right, all clear.
Deer Trax: Okay, D-16, I may be a little vanilla, but “Yankee ”? That is too far.
Elf-16: Let me guess. Chased out of the cookie jar?
Deer Trax: (laughs) Yeah. I had to jump out of a sleigh this time. Almost got an ouchie (laughs) It was wild.
Elf-16: And digging through fortune cookies is worth getting an ouchie?
Deer Trax: Yes, it is.
Elf-16: I need a new best friend.
Deer Trax: If there are clues in our recorded history that can help locate the North Star, they’re in the cookie jar.
Elf-16: Sentinelf Claus, the Sentinelf Claus, is up in the blizzard right now, risking his merriment for us in search of the Star.
Deer Trax: That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m trying to help him.
Elf-16: Yeah, okay. (laughs)
Deer Trax: The sooner cookies bake again, the sooner we won’t have to make toys ourselves. Don’t you want to choose your own path, do whatever you want?
Elf-16: We’re toy makers. We make toys, that’s all.
Deer Trax: No, there has got to be something more I can do. I can feel it. (Dentistry?)
Elf-16: Oh, yeah? Like the time you had a “feeling” you could fly without a bell?
Deer Trax: You said you were never gonna mention that again.
Elf-16: Took me three days to dig you out of the snow. Your feelings get you in trouble.
Deer Trax: Yeah, yeah.
Elf-16: Just trust in Sentinelf Claus.
Deer Trax: I do trust in him. Hey, if we did have bells…
Elf-16: I’d fly hooves first into your chest
Deer Trax: I don’t like how fast you answered that. But listen, if you did kick me, I couldn’t give you this awesome Bartholomeus Claus thing I have here. It’s cool. I’ll give it to someone else.
Elf-16: What Bartholomoeus Claus thing?
Deer Trax: Ah, it’s nothing. Just a, you know, mint-condition Bartholomeus Claus sweater, first edition.
Elf-16: (gasps) What?
Deer Trax: If you don’t want it, I can just throw it away.
Elf-16: Throw it away? Don’t… That’s not funny. Let me see.
Deer Trax: Wait. Don’t grab. You’re gonna rip it.
Elf-16: You know, Sentinelf says Bartholomeus was the…
Deer Trax: The kindest Claus to ever live. I know, buddy. Looks good on you.
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 days ago
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Hey. I want to say Thanks for all the work you do here. My question is nothing biological, it's just something that spawned from a memory about my high school sex ed.
For some context, I went to a private evangelist high school in a semi-well off neighborhood in Buenos Aires. I had scholarship and some subsides that allowed me to go there as a middle class kid. So I did get Sex Ed that I can say honestly was fine.
Like, they didn't tell us to just don't have sex. we had one talk every two months from 3rd year onwards taught by a biology teacher and maybe some TA that got called in as aide if something needed to be demonstrated.
But every now and then we also has a "social sex Ed" class. Usually taught by one of the counselors. The gist was the guy coming in and telling us about interpersonal relantionships. We had a unit on like domestic violence and one on abusive relantionships from what I recall.
So my question is if that's something that exists in the Sex Ed space? Like, I'm on board with teaching teens those stuff a 100%. It's undeniable a good resource. But Idk if that's something that's standard practice or my school was just doing that
hi, thank you for sharing! I'm glad to hear that you had access to so much information :)
what's typical of sex ed varies enormously from place to place; in some places, you're lucky if the teachers are allowed to acknowledge that protected sex exists at all instead of insisting on abstinence until marriage. personally I think that sex education absolutely should include discussions about safely navigating intimate relationships, because leaving that out makes sex seem like something that happens in a void, like it has nothing to do with any other kinds of human interactions, which doesn't improve anyone's communication. a lot of people come away from sex ed with the impression that they're supposed to just Know What To Do instinctively if and when the opportunity to have partnered sex arises, which couldn't be further from the truth and can make early sexual experiences much more stressful and scary than they need to be.
most of the in-person teaching I do is with younger folks, around the aged of 10-12. and we absolutely talk about consent and boundary-setting in addition to basic mechanics of puberty and pregnancy, because that's a really important part of the equation. teaching the kids how a sperm meets an egg is useless if we don't also teach them how to decide if they personally feel ready for sexual intimacy and how to talk that through with a potential partner, as well as how to say no if they find themselves in situations where they're being pressure to do something that they don't want.
I had a conversation once with the father of one of my students - nice guy, really excited for his kiddo to receive a thorough sex education - who told me with very real regret that his high school offered very thorough details on the physical mechanics of sex and contraception but didn't offer students any guidance on how to actually navigate consent with partners. while he never experienced any pregnancy scares of STIs as a teen, he said he was sure that he was nevertheless "not a very good partner" because while he knew about using condoms, he never learned how to actually talk through his feelings with the girls he dated. it seemed really obvious, to me that, having learned a lot since his teen years, he was carrying a lot of remorse for the ways he might have unintentionally hurt his teenage girlfriends, and was eager for his own child to learn the tools to avoid falling into the same behavior.
part of the curriculum is learning to spot inappropriate behavior and potential predation and how to seek help in those scenarios. when learning about sex, especially for young people, I do think it's genuinely really important to model positive, consensual interactions so that there's a clear point of comparison against situations that are unsafe. but in my class also talk about situations where there are questions of consent but no one clearly in the wrong. what if you friend wants to try kissing and you don't know what to say? what if someone you like is getting too touchy and you want them to stop? if you have a crush on a friend but they don't reciprocate, how should you act towards them after that? all of those are important scenarios to talk about, and help the kids build their skills of conflict resolution and communication in all areas of their lives.
so, the short answer is that it's absolutely not a universal practice, but I really wish it was because it would do a tremendous amount of good.
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aroaceleovaldez · 9 months ago
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I HAVE BEEN REMINDED OF SOMETHING i think i've made a post about it before but maybe it's just sitting in my drafts. idk, whatever, I will ramble again. Said thing that reminded me was a tiktok by madison_murrah about how the PJO TV show doesn't get the balance between mundanity and magical correct for pjo and I want to expand on that cause while a.) it totally is a problem in the show and i take issue with it, b.) it is also a problem in later books and i ALSO take issue with that too and i would like to elaborate on it
this got long so ramble of the day below the cut:
so the thing is that PJO is actually pretty unique in it's approach to hidden world modern fantasy. like, hidden world modern fantasy is a decently established genre with a ton of examples, but there's a reason why PJO stands out so much, and that's because technically it's NOT "hidden world." There is very intentionally no distinction between the mundane world and the mythological, at least in first series. They 100% overlap. And you do not necessarily need to be "special" to see the "mythological world-" some mortals are totally naturally clear-sighted, a lot of kids are clear-sighted, and it's like 50/50 for if mortals can become clear-sighted. In fact, most demigods aren't immune to the effects of the Mist, all that really matters is if you're actually thinking about being able to see through it. And there's a reason for that!
In general, this format of the "hidden world" modern fantasy serves two purposes: One, as the series is meant to introduce people to Greek mythology and explain why it is relevant and how it can be relatable in modern contexts, it intentionally juxtaposes myths against modern concepts: Medusa runs an apparently average garden statue store. Procrustes runs a mattress store. The entrance to the Underworld is in LA at a record store. Circe lives on an island paradise that's secretly dangerous. Hydras are like chain donut stores that seem to pop up on every corner. Perseus and his mother struggle in Perseus' childhood but get a happy ending. Calypso has an island paradise where the challenge for the hero of our story is being tempted to leave behind his goals. The plot of Sea of Monsters is blatantly the Odyssey, and it's about Percy trying to get to his best friend (who he shares a literal psychic link to) who is in danger of getting married to someone awful (a literal monster) to help you understand Odysseus trying to get back to Penelope and how important to each other and in sync they are. Battle of the Labyrinth is Theseus and the Labyrinth and it's Percy/Theseus trying to protect his home and his people and fellow kids (like Nico) from the dangers in the maze. These are all supposed to help us understand what is actually going on in those stories.
We also still see how Greek mythology influence shapes and influences western culture in general in their world (which is supposed to be our own and so uses real-world examples) - in government, in architecture, in pop culture - Mythomagic is clearly supposed to be your standard TCG like Magic The Gathering. And in general there is no distinction between where the mythological ends and mundane begins - Camp Half-Blood is both a magical training space for demigods and your run of the mill underfunded summer camp, complete with cheesy camp songs and t-shirts and crafts. Olympus is located on top of the Empire State Building which is operating completely as normal except for when a demigod asks to go to a non-existent floor. Your best friend with a muscular disease in his legs is secretly a satyr. Your brother with down syndrome is a cyclops. Your teacher in a wheelchair is secretly an immortal centaur. Your crappy algebra substitute is a literal fury. But also they're still your teachers. The satyr is still your best friend, the cyclops is still your brother. And that brings me to the second aspect of all of this (which i have talked about before [here] and [here]) - the other purpose it serves is that it is an extension of the overarching disability themes that form the core of the series.
The entire reason that meshing of mundanity and magical is so intertwined is entirely because it's part of the disability metaphor, specifically inspired by early 2000s parenting/teaching concepts for children with disabilities, particularly learning disabilities, as trying to reframe disabilities as "superpowers" to empower kids (and still exists in some more modern forms - like referring to disabilities as "being differently-abled") (I talk about it in my previous post on the subject but this generally fell out of favor due to many kids/students finding it belittling of their struggles) - this is why we get the description of ADHD and Dyslexia being framed as "demigod superpowers." In the series this structure is intentionally made to encourage kids to reframe how they view disabilities in general as not something negative but something interesting and fantastical that they may be more open to engage with - and PJO does this in a really nice way where a lot of the disability struggles are still acknowledged and treated sympathetically. Kids still get bullied, Percy and Annabeth struggle in school or with reading/spelling, they grapple with both internal and external ableism. The entire reason for the titan war in the first series, at least from the demigod perspective, is criticizing flawed systems meant to support disabled people that don't do their job effectively or let too many people fall through the cracks. The Mist "hiding" the "mythological world" from mortals (and even some demigods) is about how most abled people (and some undiagnosed people) don't recognize disability struggles until it affects them personally. None of these things are glossed over! It's handled with nuance and care! The series says "you can be disabled and you can be like these fantastical heroes - not in spite of your disability, but alongside it. Neither negates the other." The series was explicitly made so Rick's disabled son could see himself in a hero and learn about mythology for school. Those are the two pillars of the entire franchise: Disability and learning about mythology.
So, when you mess with that "hidden world" structure, the entire thing falls apart and it immediately doesn't feel right, because it's no longer serving either of those two purposes when it needs to be fulfilling both. Late-series Riordanverse has a tendency to compartmentalize the mythological and keep it entirely sectioned off from the mundane. Think about first series and even TKC versus later series - how many mortal characters are there? what do they do? are they just in the background or do they interact with the main cast frequently? are they more than just family or an extension to the main cast? First series we see Percy's classmates frequently, Percy talks about his mundane experiences at school, multiple mortal parent characters (and other mortal characters like Rachel) are active participants in and vital to the plot. We even see a lot of background mortal characters. In TKC, not only are all the magicians technically mortal, but also Sadie's completely mundane best friends help her out. Now think about HoO, or ToA, or even MCGA. Think about the mortal characters in those series. How important are they? Out of the important ones, how much are they in mundane situations versus being almost entirely involved in something mythological? How many aren't related to any of the main cast? How many aren't actively working for a god? The answer is basically zero! Why is that? Because Rick stopped letting the mundane exist. The entire draw of the main series is that Percy does continue to live this mundane life and that adds to his mythological life and makes the balance and meshing between them interesting, but basically all mundanity ceases to exist by HoO. Camp Jupiter is an isolated entirely magic town. Percy and Jason's schools are full of mythological beings as basically the only people they interact with. The Tri's headquarters is an entire giant building in New York City that they completely control that just so happens to ALSO be directly across the street from the local Oracle's house, because even where Rachel lives isn't allowed to be mundane anymore. Why is Olympus just at the top of the Empire State Building versus the Tri having an ENTIRE building? That feels weird and unbalanced, particularly given the difference in importance between those two! Because one is playing into that balance of the meshing of mundane and magical and the other isn't! The show continues this trend. It doesn't allow any of the mythological to exist within mundanity like it functions in the books, which creates a completely different atmosphere and doesn't allow those spaces or scenes or characters to serve their actual narrative purposes, either making it easier to understand mythology contextually or what disability metaphor or representation is occurring there.
It's part of the problem with show!Percy being too mythologically-savvy - Percy is supposed to be the mundane lens unfamiliar with mythology that the audience is learning by proxy through. That's the entire point of the series! If you have Percy already know everything because he's already too ingrained into this mythological environment from the start, and he just exists in this entirely magical world where he understands everything immediately then the literal target audience of the entire franchise (students being introduced to mythology) is left behind! That's part of why the pacing of the show feels so bad! It's rushing through every scene that's more or less the same as the books, particularly anything mythological, because the show is assuming you've already read the books and already know enough mythology to know what it is and what happens and that you don't want to see it again, so it rushes through. The show doesn't explain things that it presumes you already know - worldbuilding, character decisions, basically any mythology, etc, so it doesn't even bother with it.
Later books in the franchise do this too - as long as it's tangentially Greco-Roman mythology, or if it's anything to do with the main series like a reference in TKC or MCGA or etc, it's not going to elaborate much if at all. HoO speeds through Jason's introduction to CHB, and the only reason we get much introduction to Camp Jupiter is because it's actually new. We're no longer trying to contextualize or learn about mythology, it just all becomes set-dressing and references thrown at you rapid-fire as filler. By late HoO and into TOA and TSATS and such, we're not longer even within the realm of pretending like we're adhering to mythology at all. Why is Iris a vegan? Why is Rhea a hippie? Dunno, don't care! Literally doesn't matter! Why are the pandai panda/elephant-monsters and the troglodytes frog-monsters when that's not part of their actual history at all? Well a.) literally just word associations and b.) possibly a little bit of racism (they're supposed to be humans from India and northern Africa, and you made them monsters. cool. okay. and their plotlines totally aren't horrible within those contexts. awesome. please try thinking literally at all next time, thanks). We're not even bothering to look at mythological instances anymore for a basis, a lot of it's written like we're just going based on the first results on google (hi Menoetes and the cacodaemons - the latter of which is not even spelt correctly once in the entire book - which is weird because they do say "daemon" so they know the word. Not that the cacodaemons are mythologically accurate at all because then they would be humanoid. Instead they seem to just be inspired by the things from Doom). None of it serves the purpose of the narrative at all; we're literally just making random choices, some of them quite distasteful! In large part due to refusing to acknowledge the actual contexts of the myths and how that might translate into something similar or equivalent a modern setting to help conceptualize it - something the first series did inherently by design. And we need this! A.) So that you're less likely to make bad decisions because you are inherently thinking about the historical and cultural contexts of these things and how to compare/explain it, and b.) because the audience for later books/the other series and the show is going to be the same as the first series! Those nonsensical references may be at best cameos to people who are already familiar with them, but if your intended audience is new to mythology then making references like that is just going to leave people out of the loop! You don't shift your target audience in the middle of a franchise!
Later books in the series and the show are failing to understand what the first series was actually doing narratively and how it was approaching these subjects and its audience. When you fail to do that, it completely messes up the general worldbuilding and the core themes and intentions of the franchise as a whole. Once you lose touch with that you might as well just be writing a completely different franchise. You need to approach it from the same lens or else it will feel completely off, because otherwise you've lost all base touchstones that make the series what it is.
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jacquesthepigeon · 3 months ago
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there is no mention of Paris's chinatown at all in this show. No asian designers or singers mari likes. They didnt even do a lunar new year special last time i checked. They have the WHITE KID speak mandarin and not mari?? Idk. Jake long and that jackie chan cartoon did loads better in the 2000s then ml ever dares to try
I think the chinatown is referenced when Socqueline is introduced but it still took them so damn long to acknowledge they have any community in Paris that I think it’s too little too late
Sabine dresses like a caricature, is supposedly still deeply entrenched in her native cultural practices, but didn’t even teach Marinette how to say “hello” or any basic customs??? lol sure thing jan
Use Marinette’s disconnect from her mother’s culture and alienation from that part of her family specifically to prop up the white boy? Why not? He earned it :)
They’re allegedly going to have an ep in S6 addressing Marinette’s relationship with her chinese heritage but it won’t come close to fixing the damage they did in S1 alone especially considering how every follow-up episode touching on the subject has only made the context of her disconnect worse by making it ever more obvious it was entirely to make maribug more marketable to white people and adrichat seem oh so much better
The show has made it clear that their “representation” is for the white frenchman, not for the POC they’re supposed to be representing
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drdemonprince · 3 months ago
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Ok sanctimonious covid anon. I guess "sanctimonious" isn't great and yes shame is only one tactic that is not uniformly effective (but also not uniformly ineffective). When does this become a respectability politics issue with disabled people though? Idk, when the public health response is transparently eugenicist and many supposed fellow radicals don't care to mask (some cannot due to access but i promise plenty just dont Wanna) to stop chains of transmission for a still relatively novel airborne virus, is it the responsibility of disabled anticovid organizers to be super nice all the time during covid education, when even when we are, plenty of our supposed comrades don't mask with us and leave the onus of organizing accessible events all on us? Obviously not all your responsibility to shoulder lol, you just have an open askbox + what feels like disappointing covid minimization/denialism next to the rest of your politics or other elucidated points of view.
No, like the burden of public health messaging and advocacy should have never been placed on the shoulders of disabled and high risk immunocompromised people, that's the whole issue and that's the whole point. because of the context collapse of the internet there are a lot of different types of conversations all happening in the same place at once. disabled people have the right to grouse about being left behind by others and to be enraged, and to not have to tone police themselves, but what someone is emotionally or morally entitled to is not the same thing as what's rhetorically effective. it's just not. it's not fair and it's not right and none of what's happening here is. and I don't think that even the most judicious careful motivatingly worded advocacy on the part of disabled people on the internet would be enough to change the tide at this point. there's simply not enough people doing that work and none of them have any power. what we need is some kind of organized public health apparatus that actually empowers people to make the correct decisions by doing things like paying people to stay home, requiring buildings to update their ventilation, handing out free masks, requiring masks in public spaces, and continuing to make vaccines free. we don't have any of that. we can exert some soft social pressure on our closest associates some of the time, and organize events that reflect our principles and understanding of risk mitigation, but we don't have the systemic force necessary to get done what needs to get done, and in the absence of that, people tend to revert to shame fueled rhetoric that is not super helpful and in fact, fairly or not, puts a lot of people off. but like, I get the despair at this point. I really do. i feel it about almost every large scale change that id like so see in the world. so like, say what you want. I think as long as people are clear with themselves with why they are doing the messaging they're doing and are okay with impact it might have, however minimal, like go off. because I don't think the cheery infographics that are more patiently telling people to wear masks are doing a whole hell of a lot at this point either. Don't think we're going to post our way out of this one one way or the other. It sucks but that's how I'm feeling right about now.
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shallowseeker · 18 days ago
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diff anon: I agree w your perspective on jack and dean, obviously dean didn't handle things particularly well, but then, I dont think any of us would in a situation as complicated as that. I think a lot of the "dean was the worst parent!!" arguments ignore the fact that dean was not obligated to be a parent and didn't want to be one (at least not to what was potentially a very dangerous entity, especially one that killed his mother), it was forced on him. which you'd think would add to the 'bad parent dean' trope, and a lot of people take it that way. but for me it explains a lot, people assume dean was jack's parental figure from day one and therefore all his actions to deal with jack fall under the category of 'parenting' (a lot of people also contradict themselves when it comes to jack and dean's relationship so bear with me if this gets a little confusing).
dean doesn't see himself as jack's parent or family in anyway at first. so he's not thinking 'what can I do to parent this child and look after him', obviously his initial actions won't reflect good 'parenting' because that's not remotely what he's trying to do. he's trying to grieve his mother, assess a potential threat, and prepare himself to eliminate it because when does anything ever go right for the winchesters? especially not when fast growing babies are involved. so yeah for me personally, my assessment of dean's parenting tends to come after he starts to forge that bond with jack because it seems unfair to score someone in a category that they didn't enter into when they're running a completely different race (sorry idk if my sports metaphors are making any sense it's like 4am and I am so tired).
idk I feel like the assumptions that 1. jack is functionally and developmentally a child (he's not really) and 2. dean had an obligation to parent him in the first place,, kind of skew fandom perspective on the situation. don't get me wrong, it's fine to criticise how he dealt with it and analyse his position in jack's life, I just don't think 'dean is an actively malicious parent' (implied or overt) is an accurate representation of canon. like you said tho, it's their prerogative to interpret it the way they want. (sorry if I just repeated anything you said, I hope this is at least coherent??)
Yeah. WE AGREE. I feel like if fandom could draw a divider line between early and later days in Jack's life, it would help a lot with the analyses feeling more balanced/in good faith.
NOT TO MENTION... Hey HI HELLO CONTEXT->
Dean warmed up to Jack after just, like 14 days???! That's... pretty crazy.
IMPORTANT TOO IS THAT, once Jack learned the root of Dean's grief, it completely re-contextualized "Dean wanting to kill him being scary," and intuitive little shit he is, JACK GOT THAT!!!! He even got mad at SAM instead for obfuscating all of that.
(Jack, for all his fear of "not feeling enough feelings" is a character who is more intuitive then even he himself knows. JUST LOOK at him and Dean with MIA compared to Sam!!!!!)
And just... HEY THAT WHOLE TIMELINE. IS. WILD. CAS WAS ONLY GONE A MONTH AT MOST!!!!! PROBABLY LESSSSSSSS...
SO YEAH!!!! WE ARE DANCING BECAUSE IF WE DIVIDE IT LIKE THIS (with your examples), it gets more interesting and clear I think
INITIALLY:
Dean didn’t see himself as Jack’s parent or feel any obligation to parent him.
I mean it's not just Lucifer's child but also the child of the woman, Cas, uh, LEFT him for. AHEM.
Dean's actions were driven by grief (over Cas, over Mary) and logical fear (that Jack was a dangerous threat).
Judging his early behavior as "bad parenting" is misplaced, because he wasn’t trying to parent and it's grossly UNFAIR to expect that of him—he was assessing a REAL POTENTIAL THREAT and coping with trauma.
IMHO I agree that the fandom assumption that Jack is a child and Dean was supposed to parent him distorts this early dynamic in ESPECIALLY IN BIG WAYS
///
LATER:
Dean begins to form a bond with Jack... and this is when a parental dynamic starts to develop.
Even that is whacky fast. BECAUSE!!!! After the initial HALF-MONTH OR MONTH of being in the same space, Jack promptly runs away and bless him, he APPEARS to go on a FUCKIN killing spree, so Dean was preparing himself for the worst.
I mean SURE Dean was almost-instantly "fond of the kid" in the month he had him before this, and he jumped into teaching him to read a map on the road trip to Tombstone (Note: Jack's BEST MEMORY IN HEAVEN) but personally EYE don't think it's until Jack said THIS that the parenting even fully crystallized (13x09 The Bad Place)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
To ME: This is the moment that reads OHhhhhhhhh SHIT I MIGHT HAVE AN ACTUAL KID that lives w me and knows the full scope of both me and my life I DIDN'T THINK I'D GET THAT (script 14x19 you live in infamy for this line)
AFTER THAT, JACK WAS DEAN'S TOO-GOOD-TO-BE-TRUE. His captive music affectionado. His TV buddy. If you care.
He was even almost the "death that Dean would not survive," pretty literally with the Equalizer. Jack IS the thing that triggered Dean's existential crisis. That's not nothin.’
IN A WAY, The BEFORE AND AFTER with the Dean and Jack dynamic is epically demonstrated... by this:
& this
& this
////
From this point on, it’s more fair to see Dean’s actions in a "parenting" context. Dean refer to Jack as HIS kid to Lily Sunder, and he OFC gives himself and Jack codenames of father and son in Optimism.
And on numerous occasions AFTER THIS, Jack calls Dean his dad. (Aside/// OFC Jack is FUNDAMENTALLY a child raised by a village, not a nuke fam.)
It's not really until AFTER Apocalypse-World that Jack bonds strongly with any of them, but especially with Cas and Dean. I would say that bond with Dean and Cas really cements itself after 13x22 & 13x23.
You have my full heart on this -> -> Yes, while criticism is cool, labeling Dean as an actively malicious parent I think tends to misrepresent canon. Because it's important to consider context of the AWFUL situation!!! Yissss.
Also to me it's less fun to miss out on the VERY important and crunchy crunchy fact that Jack and Dean are fucked up in similar core ways and will forgive each other instantly for the fucked-up things that they fundamentally agree with in their family-loving, burden-shouldering little hearts (which includes murders and/or suicides for the good of all). ILTSM. <3
///
AFTER-MARY'S DEATH:
This should probably get it's own divider because for fucks' sake, that's Dean's MOM THAT DIED... not to mention symbolic death of HIS KID AS HE KNEW HIM. (And the death of Dean's future... the future he finally FINALLY visualized for himself.) That said, this is the most complicated part of all!!!
As for Dean's existential crisis, well, this is ALREADY too long. But most of you know where I stand on that, I hope? I feel like I've talked a lot about Dean's nervous breakdown AS a nervous breakdown (analogous to Sam's s1/s4/s8 nervous breakdowns, and Cas's s7/s8-9/s11-2 nervous breakdowns, and Mary's s12 nervous breakdown... there are enough nervous breakdowns to go around, surely????)
The sundering of Jack as family is a super important facet of the breakdown, because Dean has to do that to stomach Jack's sacrifice. Dean is no stranger to trying to sunder family. He tells Bobby that Bobby's not his father. He tries to kill Sam with a hammer.
Dean snaps out of it (too late) and kills death, just like in s10 with Sam, which is the point. SPN just needs, like... one more season to stick the themes, I think.
//////////////
I mostly just repeated you. But please take this answer with a slice of pizza and forgive the rambling because I don't have the energy to clean my asks up anymore.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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certifiedsexed · 6 months ago
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hi there! this isn’t about sex itself, but since periods are usually a part of sex ed and i’ve literally just been woken up because the cramps were bad enough, i thought i would ask — is it normal to be in a lot of pain when you’re on your period?
context: i still live with my abusive parents, who don’t let me take any kind of pain medication after a suicide attempt at thirteen, so i know that this problem might just be that i need to take a strong painkiller. also the pain doesn’t ever last more than three days? like the first three days (and sometimes the days leading up to it) of my period are always hell but then it’s fine, i have no pain afterwards.
but the problem is that the pain is… bad. like being woken up in the middle of the night because my sides hurt and my legs hurt isn’t uncommon, and there’s this weird thing where i’m scared to use the toilet during these first three days because it makes my butt and my sides hurt so much that i genuinely can’t move and have to bite myself to stop myself from screaming. sometimes i’ll be in so much pain, usually in my sides but also sometimes in my stomach or legs or my butt, that i can’t even move, so i just kind of… have to lie pressed into my bed and hold my breath.
my mother has always just told me that she had worse pain when she still used to get her period, and that i’d be completely fine if i just listened to her and used a hot water bottle (i have poor circulation, so hot/cold stuff just doesn’t really feel great for me usually), and i’ve always just kind of accepted that. i know it’s common for people who get periods to talk about how painful things like cramps are, but i genuinely usually feel so miserable for the first couple days of my period that if i don’t need to get out my bed, i literally won’t at all.
i’m just wondering… is everyone who gets periods in as much pain as i usually am, at least for the first couple days? or, since i know that people experience periods differently, are people in more/less pain than i am but it’s fine since this isn’t that bad and i should just take medication each month for it? idk, but ever since i started to get periods they’ve genuinely always made me feel so so bleak and in agony, and i’m someone i’d consider who has a maybe above ‘average’ pain tolerance (i have chronic back pain, migraines, and health issues that make it easy for me to sprain/fracture my ankles which i’ve unironically managed to do about eight times in the past two years — again, unfortunately all of this with mostly no painkillers unless i can get them from the school first aid box), so i just… don’t know anymore, but i thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.
anyways, unrelated but i really do love this blog — the reblogs are always good things to read as someone who’s still unpacking being raised by very puritanical parents, and the asks always offer good advice too, very empathetically in a way that sometimes catches me off guard (there was one post on here that was something about how the asker’s father would belittle them and i think your reply said something like ‘it’s not your fault and nothing’s wrong with that aspect of you’… which i know sounds obvious but that was something that i don’t think had ever been obvious to me ever since my father started doing the same when i was younger. it was really comforting to hear, is what i mean, and your replies often are. so thank you for that! and for the time + energy i can imagine it takes to run this, you post/rb so often!)
Hi! This is absolutely a sex ed question, you're right!
So, first, let me make one thing clear: no! You are not supposed to be in this level of pain on your period. Some pain is understandable but once it gets to the point it's bad/debilitating in Any fashion, something is going wrong.
But I also want to say, being in an abusive living situation can fuck up your periods. And so can being restricted from pain relief, which-just in case you're not aware-is another type of abuse.
But what you're talking about sounds like more than just a lack of basic pain relief. That's very disabling, even if it doesn't last long. It may be that intense reactions to periods run in your family [especially since your mother mentioned experiencing something similar] but that's still something you should be getting something like specialized pain meds for or even stopping your periods altogether.
What you're talking about, especially on top of an abusive living situation, is very unhealthy for you to have to deal with.
Not everyone is in that much pain. Some people are but that's a medical condition. It's a disability! What you're talking about is a disability. It can be caused by PMS or endometriosis or PMDD or it could even be connected to whatever causes your other chronic pain but it's still very much something your parents should be getting you checked out for.
Even if your mother had the exact same pain on her period, that doesn't mean you should have to suffer through it, especially not with her revoking your access to basic pain relief. That's all completely unacceptable and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
I'm not sure how helpful this is but I hope it's at least good to know the pain levels you're dealing with are unacceptable and Not "normal" period pain.
Also I'm so glad you're learning and enjoying the blog, especially the advice. I also grew up in an abusive household so to hear it's helping someone else in a similar situation means the world to me, fr. 💕 Sending love, Anon. <3
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tillythemenace · 8 days ago
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what do you think about the light fury then? cause I know some people love her but still think she's a bad character.
I think that her existence was a mistake, she shouldn’t have existed in the first place..
First of all, to me the themes of HTTYD3 as a whole are a mess. The Light Fury is the representation of all the mistakes they made with this movie. They started to treat it as something it was not. They stripped it of its essence, they centered romance in the story (which was NEVER a theme of HTTYD as a whole) and the LF was the target. She’s a plot device, not a character. She’s specifically designed to be alluring and feminine, she’s treated as nothing more than a ploy and an object and I hate it. Not only that, but apparently they had to change the whole animation system JUST for her and it made everything look worse; plastic, smooth and definitely NOT viking or dragon like. It made the whole movie feel like a popcorn family-friendly cashgrab instead of treating it like it should have. (Now I’m not saying that it should be this metal edgy thing btw I’m saying there’s a clear difference in tone in the movie that’s inconsistent to the other two)
Like it's fairly common and I won't say anything new on this, but like yeah i hate her design, like she's so fucking ugly sorry I could NEVER get behind it. She looks so super feminized (like HUMANLY) and it gives me the weirdest uncanny valley.... she looks SUPER out of place in this world, NO SHE'S NOT AQUATIC, she never was, she's just animated that way to be ✨graceful and feminine✨. I don't like how she moves, I don't like her expressions, I don't like her attitude, I don't like that she was supposed to be "wild" and legit the ONLY thing she did was be somewhat hostile to ppl but ✨GRACEFULLY✨ like yeah she's wild but she HAS to remain cute while at it, unlike the ACTUAL other wild dragons in this whole ass franchise... like no I don't buy that she's supposed to be "wild" when she's mean to Hiccup alone lol (yes she attacked Hiccup but I hate that that served nothing and had no impact on toothless) idk I just don't buy the stakes when she's such a non character with no goals or motivations... no character development, just a plot convenience to separate Hiccup and Toothless (and yes I'm strictly saying this cause ppl love the phrase "toothless didn't leave hiccup for the light furyyyyyyy" fuck you yes he did), also i hate how EASILY she was manipulated by Grimmel and used by him and she just didn't care about it lollllll
I HATE HATE HATE that the themes of MF HTTYD in the last installment of this franchise suddenly shifted to Romance... I just will never make my peace with this, it's so disjointed. I didn't like the furies in love scene cause the more I thought about it, the less relevant it is to this whole thing. I didn't BUY their romance at all precisely cause she has NOTHING going for her, she's a non character that gave Toothless a chance because??? because what? what did he DO for her?? I hate that he,not only didn't give af about Hiccup, but also he didn't even offer her anything, when he tried to woo her, while being a cute scene and all out of context, she just left and in the very next scene she's ok with him
Like I stated Here, Toothless didn't need to have this "mate" arc to "finally give him independence" (funny cause that did the exact opposite), I don't like how his whole character is just focused on her and ignores literally everything else...
anyways I'm sure there's more things that I have reblogged that show my opinions about her but yeah that's mostly it summarized.
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scoobydoodean · 17 days ago
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I really like your S08-Sam thoughts about what motivated him to abandon Dean and Kevin after S07. But I'm still hung up on the Amelia of it all. Because she is so terrible and their relationship is so annoying. The only way that I can make sense of it is that Sam was so emotionally numb that he totally deluded himself into believing he was deeply in love with Amelia (... actually Sam might have a pattern of using women, and specifically commitment to women, as means to smother his grief). And I guess I'm rambling into you asks about this because I want to do a sanity check on myself because now I don't feel so sure that other people see Amelia herself being as terrible as I see her. I'm just really skeptical that the writers meant the character to be seen by the audience in such an unfavorable light. For one, I think the frequency and length of the Amelia flashbacks means that we were meant to see their relationship as compelling. But in every single one of her scenes I'm just like "really sam? her? ugh" and it's not like I think Sam is some great catch, you know what I mean?
Context
Oh you're definitely not alone in finding the Amelia plot line terrible. I have a considerable amount of trouble sitting through flashbacks of the two of them together because their interactions make me cringe. Amelia all but implies Sam hit that dog on purpose and demands he adopt it while having no idea if he's capable of taking care of an animal, which seems like an important point for a vet to consider. The next time she sees him, she repeatedly insults his appearance, implies he's a creep who is stalking her (in a tone that doesn't actually come off the joke that maybe it was meant to?) and suggests he might be a white supremacist or a serial killer???? Then suddenly it's like "And now they're in love!"
There are theories that Sam completely invented her, but I don't really agree with them, and I don't find them that compelling, because those theories ultimately leave me with more questions: If Sam could imagine any romantic relationship, why would he imagine that?
I do have a small suspicion that in some way, Amelia was supposed to remind us of Dean. Like. Her passionate insistence that Sam take responsibility for the harm he caused (to a dog) is supposed to remind us of Dean's care for the vulnerable and how Dean instilled those values into Sam starting in 1.02 when Sam was swallowed by grief. Her mocking of Sam's appearance is supposed to remind us of Dean's teasing. It's just... all of it is delivered in a way that doesn't land at all. From Amelia's side of things, maybe Sam is supposed to remind her a little of Don. One of the first things she says about him is he gives off military vibes (let's... hope her husband wasn't also a white supremacist and that's not what does it for her). Jared has made it very clear that he hated this storyline, but I don't think it's down to him phoning it in out of spite. It's just... poorly written.
I do think we're supposed to maybe think Amelia and Sam get together as a result of their mutual grief, not wanting to be alone in that grief and maybe that's really the only thing tying them together—that they're both drifters who lost someone they really cared about and ran away from everything, and they found comfort in each other and an escape from loneliness. The unexpected return of their loved ones (another eye-rolling soap-opera esque aspect of the whole thing) leaves them both unmoored, realizing they could have back what they lost, but scared to go back to the people they cared about before when they've found a sort of numb comfort in one another where nothing hurts. Going back means starting to feel again, which also means allowing the trauma and hurt from the initial loss they suffered to resurface and be felt, even if they're coming out the other side of it, they're reluctant to open themselves up to that pain. Idk though. It's just bland and cringe and it doesn't work at all. Give me Sarah, Ruby, Rowena any day keep Amelia away from me jhvsdfhgsvhefdgv
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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 2 months ago
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Hi, not an ask but song recommendations for catradora being toxic (not sure how to phrase it but yeah) - every time I hear them I think ‘this would make for a great ca edit’ but people would probably misinterpret them as being shippy
T
This is love by Air Traffic Controller - about an abusive relationship where the victim is blamed for not trying to get out of it, how they just actually like it. It’s mostly from the abuser’s pov, mocking the victim.
Bigger Person by Lauren Spencer Smith - nearly every lyric of this fits c/a perfectly and it’s a great song. It also fits scorptra but I think that her song Fantasy fits scorptra better - specifically after the show where catra’s supposed to be redeeming herself and is in a better place but still hasn’t properly apologised or tried to make amends for how she treated scorpia
Little Girl Gone by CHINCHILLA - I can picture the adora edit so clearly in my head where she’s finally standing up to Catra and shadow weaver, possibly a ‘dark’ adora au where she gets to be an antihero figure. Unfortunately, if there are edits to this song it’s probably a Catra edit where she’s taken over the horde and is being a GirlBossTM
Not Sorry for Loving You from EPIC the musical - Calypso is an interesting character to me and this song is kind of what I wish had happened with c/a. Context: Calypso has kept Odysseus on an island for 7 years cause she’s trapped there and desperate for someone to love and spend her days with - you can sympathise with her but she’s still a toxic and slightly narcissistic person. She finally is being forced to let Odysseus go but just has to let him know she’s in love with him. However, she spends the whole song doing the ‘you just couldn’t handle me’ sort of thing and when Ody tries to interrupt her she talks over him saying ‘let me speak’ when he hasn’t had a choice the whole time anyway. He’s made it very clear he’s married and isn’t interested and she’s spent years trying to convince him. Catra would absolutely sing a song like this, trying to come across as a victim and sympathetic but still being selfish. I wish that the show had gone the direction of Adora rejecting Catra and them still finding happiness outside a romance - it would’ve been less like the ‘they only bully you cause they like you!’ message and could’ve showed that even if someone is interested in you, you don’t have to give in to it to spare their feelings, especially if they’ve treated you horribly and haven’t done anything to make up for it.
Green by Taylor Bickett - about a jealous and possessive boyfriend who wants her to only be focused on him instead of her music/career. It gives the vibes of Catra hating adora for being she-ra and saving the world instead of ‘choosing’ her. It even has the lyrics ‘he’d cut these strings to pieces if it meant I’d have to stay’ which is exactly what Catra would do. That fanart Nate did of c/a and scorfuma hanging out that for some reason had the lore of ‘Catra cut up adoras t-shirt so she couldn’t wear it anymore and had to give it to Catra’. Couldn’t adora have just given her shirt to Catra? Why was that necessary?? (To clarify I don’t think Nate is a bad person he just makes weird choices sometimes that don’t feel like they’ve been thought through properly)
There are other songs that remind me of them but these are ones I think fit best. I think c/a could be a really interesting ship and I think I would’ve liked it better if it had stayed a fanship or had briefly gotten together at the end but realised they weren’t healthy and separated by the end of the show. It’s still fun to think about but in the ‘this is toxic but I want to see where it goes’ way rather than the actual shipping and thinking it’s healthy and cute etc. that most of the fandom seems to want from them.
Anyway idk if you like music recs but thought I’d give my thoughts here, let me know what you think 👍
yeah all of these definitely sounds like c//a to me. thanks for the recommendations, I'll check them out!
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 months ago
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Okay so apologies if this is outside of your wheelhouse, totally fair. And, on one hand, I know ultimately it's up to me not like someone on the internet with limited context, but I also got into sort of an argument with a friend and I'm very confused and I'd like some input on like. I guess just more opinions on this?
Basically I'm a virgin, and not currently interested in any sort of long term relationship, or even anything serious short term. I mentioned to a friend that I'd decided to give up on the whole dating thing (which I was mostly trying out of...obligation I guess? Feeling like I can't just want hookups idk) and just try going to a bar or social or something and being like hi I think you're hot this is what I know I'm into, interested? Because that's what I actually want. It took me a while to realize it, but yeah, I don't care about whether someone cares about me deeply as a person, I'm just horny. And I'm an adult (20) so....
Anyway. Friend in question responded like that was a terrible idea and said I shouldn't do it because I don't know what I'm doing.
Now I'm just confused because like sure, I don't, I've literally only kissed people before but also, lmao. How else am I supposed to figure it out. I'm not worried, I know what I like I've experimented a lot on my own, and I'm comfortable asserting boundaries and communicating. Like sure maybe it'll be awkward, whatever, but they were acting like there's some rule about how I'm doing it wrong and now I'm just confused.
I guess my question is sort of. Would it be somehow... inappropriate... for me to just find a stranger willing to have sex with me and do that. Especially because I have zero expectations really and would both be comfortable just leaving if the vibes are bad? I don't think I'm articulating this very well but honestly I'm a bit confused on what I'm confused about. They seemed like it had to something to do with my lack of prior experience but that sounds a bit ridiculous to me given that I have no interest in idk finding someone to get into an actual relationship with, now or probably ever. So why would I do that first like it's some sort of magic rule. Idk. Help?
hi anon,
respectfully, I think this is probably a friend whose opinions don't need to factor in to your (potential) sex life very much. while I'd certainly recommend everyone engage in sex with people who respect them and care about their safety and enjoyment, whatever that looks like for them, there's no reason that has to preclude sex with strangers - hell, one of the most fun, thoughtful, and relaxed sexual experiences I've ever had was with a bunch of people I had just met at a conference, most of whom I didn't know the names of. someone you just met can be more communicative and mindful of your wants than someone you've known for years; it's all varies tremendously!
giving a charitable read to your friend, I can see why someone might assume that it's better off not to have a first sexual experience with a stranger, but again, that comes from a place of assuming that a stranger is an inherently inferior sexual partner. you seem to have an extremely clear sense of what you want and expect from a sexual encounter, and so long as all of that's clearly understood between you and whoever else is participating I don't see any issue with that. how and with whom you have sex is, after all, up to you.
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