#?do people do that???
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okay so i didn’t cut myself bangs, my hair just already has bangs if brushed differently
SO I’VE HAD BANGS BACK FOR THIRTY SECONDS AND IVE ALREADY DONE SELF-SOOTHING BEHAVIORS THAT MAKE ME FEEL SEVEN AGAIN I AM MY BANGS MY BANGS ARE ME
#i cant explain the amount that my dsyphoria is built around my bangs#my bangs and my self-image =/=#i think#wait this is gonna be awkward I wonder if this is a thing#I’ve never realized this before#but like#i cant see faces in my memories right like I know what people look like but I cant conjure their pictures in my brain#(fuck thinking about this is making me try and I think I’m hurting my head. like I get memories and essences and their face is basically#there but it’s like doctor who where if you focus you can’t actually see. like yeah I know the facts so I feel like I’m seeing it but I cant#actually see their faces.#so anyway. i guess because that probably meant I couldn’t picture my own face#?do people do that???#i knew what I looked like based on bangs#so family photos. which one am I? bangs#and ever since they’ve been gone I still try to draw myself or picture myself with bangs#it’s def just cause I’m high but I can feel them and they’re like a reassuring warmth on my forehead#i feel so at peace#also like I recognize peoples faces im actually really good at faces so this isn’t me talking about prognosia just in case that’s unclear#it might be some weird imgination thing but I think this is how kinds work? I’ve always been unclear how much is exaggeration and not in the#whole ‘picture this’ thing. cause like. i can get the essence and ALMOST see it. but really trying to see it almost hurts my head. like I#cannot do it. but I kinda have always felt like other people could see it and I was just locked out of my imagination seeing#but also I knew that was dramatic and probably no one could see things and I was just taking idioms too literally and being weird#wow I’m high over sharing but these bangs are unlocking childhood nostalgia for real for real#and damn I really should’ve figured out the combing of this thing earlier but. sometimes I am dumb#and also I know it wouldn’t have worked not that long ago
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what if your doppelgänger wasn’t evil it was just a person. what if your doppelgänger wasn’t trying to replace you it was just trying to learn to be a person and you were the best model it had. what if your doppelgänger looked at you with your eyes and said with your voice that it just wanted to be loved. what then.
#aelan speaks#fornax cain#fun fact i used to think imposter syndrome was more literal#not so much “i don’t deserve this good thing and i’ve somehow tricked people into thinking i do”#but more like “i am straight up not a person and everyone knows it”#“and i am TRYING to be a person but i can’t get it right and they all KNOW and i should not be here but i don’t know where else to go”#anyway i was a normal child
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some of my favorite woven tapestries, by Cecilia Blomberg:
Point Defiance Steps
Mates
Rising Tides
Vashon Steps
#woven tapestry#weaving#fiber art#fiber crafts#textile art#hand woven#art#water#*#*mostnotes#I'm glad people like these as much as I do#I can NOT stop thinking about the first one ever since I saw it#now I'm not the only one hehe
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“here’s what we know about the uhc shooter”
WRONG! He is a suspect and we should treat him as such. He should be treated as innocent until proven guilty, not guilty until proven innocent. He’s a person of interest not the killer. I don’t care what the media or authorities are saying, he’s a human being who deserves a fair trial and deserves to be treated as innocent until proven otherwise.
#united healthcare#luigi mangione#brian thompson#uhc ceo#sorry I just see a lot of people spreading all this information and labeling him the killer and it’s like hold on#he’s a suspect#he’s not guilty of it#even if it seems likely he should be treated as innocent until proven guilty#labeling him as the killer before the trial even starts is not helping#am I making sense or do I sound stupid#sparkle.txt
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I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery
#sp-rambles#Edit: Head in hands and groaning why did this post become about cringe culture and “not caring about what other people think”#Like yes of course cringe culture is dead yada yada but don't you guys think it's a little off how people use ableist and queerphobic#rhetoric still to describe things they do not like? Isn't that a bit more concerning?
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I keep seeing people use this image as a reaction to people's original posts:
Which I think is really incorrect, because with an original post they haven't come up to ur window, u've come up to their window.
So I made this, as a more accurate reaction for original posts:
#if one thing i do actually becomes widespread let it be this#it really really annoys me when i see people use the og image as an original post reaction
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.
i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.
the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.
they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?
but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.
so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.
the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.
the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."
the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.
#i bring up tsarnev only bc i feel like people DID want blood. i lived in boston. people wanted to rip him apart.#i do not personally remember a moment where he was paraded around like that. and the fact we gave more dignity to him#than luigi .... is startling.#and i just realized last night i was like - i don't really remember a perp walk like that. maybe im misremembering#but i went to google and i was like. wait why the fuck was it so fucking big.#it WASNT a random act of terror. it WASNT to injure/kill as many as possible.#even if we consider it to be premeditated murder: when have we ever done this.#so brandy's life didnt deserve “a show of force?”#the mayor doesn't say ''our city wont stand for this'' when it's a planned murder for insurance money????#anyway . ur not immune etc etc etc#but i also wanted the comparisons in here in case ppl aren't from amercia etc#this ISNT normal or usual. this was overkill by like a million#on the other hand they gotta do this bc they're scared :)#i kept this bc i had ppl ask me not to delete this but i just felt like#it wasn't really poetry just talkin
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Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?
Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.
Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?
Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.
#libraries#we offer tech advice in the library#so it wasnt an out of pocket request#but people really do come to the library for help with the strangest things#its the buffy impulse#when in doubt#go to the library
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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arcane ships be like
i love a show that teaches equality (😭😭😭)
#guys i don't actually ship jayvik but it was necessary for the reference#sorry for the quality btw i threw this together#timebomb#jayvik#caitvi#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#EDIT: multiple people have pointed out that the labels i've used aren't the characters' real sexualities. and they're right#there's actually NO labels in runeterra so i shoulda said m/f m/m and f/f relationships#but you guys already gave this 13k notes so whatever bro#just know!!! they are more than whatever nathaniacolver post labels them as! :)#EDIT AGAIN AFTER THE FINALE: I DO INDEED NOW SHIP JAYVIK. DAFUQ#DOOM IS DOOM#edit number 3 or something idk man people keep asking stuff:#i made this after act 1 and before acts 2 & 3 so this is an ACT 1 MEME#and yes timebomb are whatever the frick you want them to be. *sighs*. i should've said f/m relationship so bad
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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I just think everyone should take a moment to consider the question "what is your visual shorthand for cruelty?" and then follow it up with a critical "and who taught you that?"
specific examples include but are not limited to
why is an evil timeline character design disabled? (why do the heroes go through equally punishing battles and never lose an arm, a leg, an eye?)
why are the futuristic scifi terrorists uniformly darker skinned? (why are the heroes so much lighter?)
why is the greedy boss fat? (why are the heroes skinny?)
why is the criminal mastermind heavily scarred? (why is the brooding, traumatized hero unscathed?)
why is the predatory creep a bearded person in a dress and makeup? (why are none of the heroes trans women?)
who taught you that this is how things are?
how long do you plan on repeating it?
#not art#been on the mind a lot. you are not immune to propaganda and neither am i dot garfield etc etc#for filtering:#ableism#racism#fatphobia#transphobia#transmisogyny#if i see one more 'this character from old show is so hashtag gender!!' and its just a transmisogynistic caricature im gonna lose it#and yes i do unfollow people for that. regrettably some sites show me things from strangers
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#the thing is that maga was already loser-coded for a while but these people were banking on you to not call it out#why else do they get so pissy about cultural signifiers and ‘woke hollywood’ or whatever#politics#usa#twitter
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bro i LOVE indigenous fusion music i love it when indigenous people take traditional practices and language and apply them in new cool ways i love the slow decay and decolonisation of the modern music industry
#but also !!!!!!! indigenous people who make traditional music and release it !!!!! just as cool !!! equally as valid !!!!!!!!!!! indigenous#people who just release in english/the main language of their country are also very cool !!!!!! more love and focus on the art of#indigenous ppl !!!!!!!!#anyway i have been on a big Inuit pop/indie fusion kick lately#i've also been meaning to do a deep dive into the Blak (indigenous australian) music scene#anyway ! :3#music#words of wyrm
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