#????????? like dude whuh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

marwhoa · 4 months ago

Text

request: hi hil! I read your work and it was amazing! I was hoping you would write the rise boys with a vigilante s/o? (Gn) but the boys don't know that yet and one day s/o is fighting the foot or someone, you decide, then their turtle bf shows up and helps them. S/o forgot they were in costume for a minute before running to their turtle in shining shell and kissing them, so it turns into a whole thing and s/o unmasks themself, how do the boys react??

🝮 “ violet virus ”

rise!donnie x vigilante!g/n

author’s note: eeee !! Gosh I’ve been meaning to post for months, but multiple x readers always stump me. I like making each a completely different story, and sometimes that ends up with me writing waaaay too much. So! I separated this one into a solo. Raph Mikey and Leo will be their own post since I imagine they’ll be much shorter… unless I’m a little freak again and write too much 😭😭. Sheldon’s speech will be the same color as Donnie’s but in italics :))

word count: 4.5k

“ I don’t understand why you won’t disclose this information, Shelldon. ”

Grumbles the turtle clad in purple as he sits on the floor of his lab. Tools are strewn around within reaching distance, framing him, Shelldon, and the computer plugged into the robot boy. The screen displayed a long history of access points to Shelldon’s database—none of which Donnie had the clearance for.

Odd.

A little sigh plays from the little bot’s speakers as his digital eyes shift elsewhere.

“ The information you seek is, like, confidential, dude! ”

“ Whuh—not only are you keeping secrets from your father, but you would even ‘dude’ your own father?! Poppycock! ”

Frustrated, Donnie throws his hands in the air, eyes fixated on the display screen. Error sounds growled through the computer’s speakers each time his program attempted to break through its encryption.

Just who could write an encryption code that could thwart even Donnie?

“ It just makes no sense. As not only your father but also creator, I should have complete access to any and all of your databases. Is this a rebellious development, update 1.2?! ”

Shelldon rolls over, groaning out in annoyance. He couldn’t just flat-out tell him, “ oh papà! you mustn’t worry, i am only hiding the identity of a certain vigilante you’ve yet to encounter! “, no, no, that would be absurd.

That would be a betrayal to you, Donnie’s kindhearted significant other who just couldn’t stand for the Purple Dragons’ treatment towards your dearest darling dear. I mean, what partner would stand on the sidelines as a measly cheerleader in the face of someone daring to disrespect YOUR boyfriend? Quite literally the smartest man alive (probably)?

It didn’t help your case that you were pretty powerless, aside from some scrounged-up determination, a pinch of courage, and a heavy dosage of computer expertise. Nothing up to par with Donnie, but it was remarkable by human’s standards. Combine that with the help of a sentient robot named Shelldon, and you were a force to stand on equal footing with that malicious group of super-nerd-punks.

Watching Donnie writhe with frustration, Shelldon can’t help but hope his walls were stronger than his father’s.

“ Maybe it’s nothing to worry about, bro, let’s just—“

“ Nothing to worry about—/nothing to worry about/— oh, it’s nothing to worry about, he says! “

A ding resonating from Shelldon draws Donnie’s attention for a second. His frustration churns, flashing into curiosity. It seems as though some sort of distress message has came through, but with a chime unlike what he’s programmed. Donnie drops his head with a laughter akin to a parent reaching their breaking point.

“ Oh-ho-ho, dear son of mine, ”

Mouth open, ready to retort with a snarky tone, Donnie raises his head up but holds his tongue at the sight.

An uncharacteristic silence blankets the robot-boy. Shelldon’s eyes begin to flicker until they beam with deep, velvety-purple hue.

Donnie flinches, shielding his eyes from the bright LEDs as he pointed and snapped his fingers.

“ AH-HAH! See, I knew it. This IS a problem! ”

Shelldon rises to his feet and turns robotically before then breaking into a brisk sprint. The cord plugged into him snatches the laptop a few feet before it ultimately yanks from Shelldon’s socket. Before Donnie could call him to return, his son shifts to quite literally propelling himself out of the lair from the rocket launchers in his feet.

Coughing and waving away the residual smoke, Donnie squints at Shelldon’s rapidly disappearing silhouette. He groans exasperatedly as his hands pull at nonexistent hair.

“ Damn it, I knew he wasn’t old enough to have those installed, Shelldon!! ”

Grabbing his tech-bo, Donnie wasted no time in following right after him.

——-

While your poor partner-in-crime found himself under his father’s interrogation, you are none-the-wiser as your fingers skirt across a keyboard. Your purple gloves whir quietly as they accelerate the computer’s performance—the faster you get out, the better. The display’s light shone on your outfit, one befitting a vigilante’s need for secrecy. Your hair was held back by a bandana while your face was obscured by a half-mask from the bridge of your nose to your jaw. A pair of glasses rested upon it with a little purple ‘ D ‘ logo in the corner.

A long sleeve turtle neck covered your arms and torso with angular purple lines following the underside of your arms and down your sides, tucked into a pair of sweatpants with a drawstring waist. The pants tucked into a sturdy pair of boots, all matching with black and purple. If the light caught you in the right way though, then the faintest detail of smaller purple embellishment akin to the lines running along a modem board would shimmer.

That was a detail you were most proud of, albeit purely cosmetic.

But never mind that, you manage to squirrel your way into a hub room of sorts with large metal cabinets filled to the brim with wirings, likely powering the entire lair. The floor occasionally lit up with the rush of purple LED lights pulsing through thin indents on the floor. You didn’t know what information they carried or to where, but that was not your current concern.

“ Alright, Dragons, what are you looking for with the OKE YX23 system’s blueprints… ”

You whisper to yourself. As streams of data rapidly scroll across the screens, you soak it all up through a pair of modified glasses. They accelerate your comprehension and store databases chock full of what you saw in seconds. It was a neat gadget born of your own genius, albeit with just a bit of help from your beloved Donnie.

“ Supersuits? Why super… ”

Squinting, you slow your feverish typing pace and pinch your fingers on the projected hologram to zoom in and section off a few documents. Blueprints upon blueprints flood your senses, designs for all types of suits, each fully equipped for specific situations calling for varying levels of strength, agility, dexterity, and more. A few documents even detail their uses, discussing ideal fantasies of potential war use.

“ No… No way! This is.. I have to send all this data over to Shelldon. ”

Removing your glasses, you tap the shell icon at the top corner of the left lens to send it all to your partner in crime, Shelldon. As a low chime resonates from the glasses, confirming a successful message delivered, you stare at the purple D logo. Your thumb strokes it fondly as you purse your lips in contemplation.

“ Once I’m done with these dragons, maybe… Maybe it’s time to tell him who I am.. ”

You idle for a moment, your free hand balling in and out of a fist beside you. Wracking your head for answers, your thumb began to stroke the pad of your folded index finger as a sort of grounding measure.

“ … For now, I’ll put a pin in that, I need to figure out how to get out of here. ”

As you shift away from the computer to head out, a loud clanging of the door being forced shut in front of you was enough to set off alarms in your head. Paling, you click your boot’s heel against the cold metal floor a few times. There, you had planted one of your small gadgets to allow quick and easy hacking. It was an attempt to connect and override the system to get the door open, but as you’re met with nothing save for the soft thuds of your foot, a heavy pressure weighs on your chest.

They must have found you out. How long have they known you were here?

Goosebumps scurry along your arm as you look over your shoulder for the compressed hiss of doors mechanically sliding open. Previously hidden doors pulled apart to reveal a hidden hallway and a bot stepping through, its digital gaze settled on you while its heavy footfalls shook the room.

“ Ohhhh noooo… ”

Dragging out the syllables, the blueprints you just saw on the screen were currently whirring to life before you. At the sound of a grating, familiar cackle playing through the contraption’s speakers, your blood chills.

Not good.

“ Looks like a rat slipped through the cracks. ”

You could recognize her voice anywhere. What’s your escape route now? Have they closed all of them off? God, you did not prepare for a fight today—that was NOT on the itinerary!

“ Perfect opportunity to see what these puppies can do though. ”

Fully facing the super-suit occupied by Kendra, you take a hesitant step back as your eyes scan the room. They land on a rather ordinary looking door on your far left, equidistant to you both. The chance to get some distance is all too tempting.

Unfortunately, just as your foot raises to break into a bolt, an “ ah, ah, ah~ ” taunts through the mech’s speaker as it sends a projectile whisking past you with a high pitched pachoo! The object sparks against the wall it strikes and ignites instantly. You can’t help the spike in fear shooting through you internally as the blast destroys part of the room and sends debris flying.

With barely a chance to gather your bearings, your gaze raises helplessly as the bulky suit Kendra was operating closed the gap between you both and slammed a heavy fist towards you. It strikes the ground with a heavy THUMP, leaving a dent that was barely off enough to feel comfortable. You raise your hand to the purple logo on your glasses that sends an S.O.S. distress call to your man-in-the-chair, Shelldon.

Scrambling to get away, you lunge towards one of the wire-filled cabinets palms-first in an attempt to hack and utilize some to your advantage. Before your program fully engaged, you’re yanked away full-force and sent skidding across the floor. In your peripheral you notice two more of these suits enter the room. This is hardly the time to get distracted, you scold yourself, glancing back to Kendra in a nick of time.

“ Shit, shit, shit, shit!! ”

You scream, narrowly dodging a shrapnel of metal whisking past your ducked head and embedding itself into the opposite wall.

“ ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! ”

Through a dramatic display of physical prowess, you screech and lunge every which way to avoid each zipping attack the bot sends towards you. To make matters worse, two more robotic suits emerge from behind the first.

“ That could’ve killed me, you runts! ”

Glaring, you turn your gaze to the maniacally laughing trio of super-nerds, donning what appeared to be the exact same super suits in the documents, all said to be powered by an all-too-powerful AI-chip. The suits’ reflexes are swift n’clean, ran by a superior digital brain that seems to be predicting all your movements even before you know them. In any other circumstances, you would have marveled in their presence.

However, right now it serves as too-great of a foe for you alone. In a pathetic display to keep up, you try to stand your ground against the super suits in a recipe of chaos that ends with you cornered and exhausted.

“ Now, now, Violet Virus,”

The leader, Kendra, steps towards you in a suit designed for strength. It’s bulky, intimidating, and an overall pain. You almost wonder if sheer artillery built into that suit was enough to single-handedly replace an entire army.

Behind her stood Jeremy in a suit built for speed—it’s racing LEDs left you dizzy if you stared too long and was designed to reach speeds fast enough that the residual shock alone might be enough to give your eardrums a hell of a jolt. Its fit was slim and sharp, fitting for the purpose.

Last is Jason, who..

Well..

He didn’t have some flashy suit for some reason.

Honestly, it seems more like just a prop suit. You didn’t even know if it did anything—to be frank, it kind of looked like they picked it up at Spirit Halloween.

“ You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that. ”

Kendra’s suit thuds towards you, crouching in front of you. Her robotic hand reaches out to grip your chin between the thumb and index.

“ But that’s all I’ll give you. “

You’re starting to get antsy, mentally begging Shelldon to hurry up in helping you out of this ordeal. In the mean time, you muster the meanest glare, peering through the visual retinas of the machine. The speaker picks up her low scoff.

“ Well, maybe I should reward our little idiot for that signal to our friend,Othello von Ryan. ”

The boys behind her share a laugh in response.

“ … Who? ”

Confused, you yank from her grip, teeth bared in disgust. As powerless as you are to super-suits, an idiot was no where near appropriate to describe you. In fact, to say you were a vigilante with nothing but your boyfriend’s robot under your belt was a lie.

See, your outfit was littered with all types of covert gadgets. This included a pair of gloves and boots to match with dull, illuminated swirls under the pads of your fingers and heels of your feet. Within those swirling pools of light happened to be lie dozens of little terminals awaiting for your command to reshape and hack into any dormant or idle appliances and tech within range.

Pinned to the ground in a sitting position, your hands laid palms down on either side of your body and feet flat to carry out the rest of this operation. So long as they keep their focus on you, they will be completely blind-sided by your retaliation. Inaudible over the commotion, a low groan of circuitry in the walls bowed as your programs seep into their systems.

“ I don’t know who that is, but you’re crazy if you think this battle is in any of your favors! ”

You growled out as the ceilings cave from serpentine cables raining sparks haphazardly. Your program had sent a sort of “ suicidal-sentience ” command through nearby wires that influenced them to rip apart and focus an assault on the super-suits.

Kendra growls in annoyance as metal panels from above knock her to the ground. The limbs of her robotic suit are then coiled up by the snake-like wires. She turns to see a similar fate befalling Jason.

But not Jeremy.

“ Oh, but it is in my favor. ”

Kendra cocked her head in Jeremy’s direction, grinning with an energy that sent shivers down your spine. His suit was equipped with speeds your program couldn’t fathom keeping up with, and as his suit whipped to your side before you could try to run, you were struck and pinned flat against the floor.

“ That was a clever yet feeble attempt. See, we know all about your assets. ”

Kendra recovers quick as she moves her suit to rip the cables off her.

“ … What assets!?”

You kick your legs, trying to get free. Just how much do they know? What do they know? What or which assets could they mean? You hold your tongue in fear of spilling information to potential bluff.

Amidst your confusion, Kendra doesn’t seem too impressed. She might have burst a fuse if not for Jeremy clearing his throat and intervening.

“ What she means, Violet Virus, is we intercepted your help signal. ”

The hair on the back of your neck rose up.

That explains the lack of indication from Shelldon that he received your signal. Your expression sours with worry. What use did they have with him? And wait, Othello von Ryan—

“ You didn’t honestly think you could serve any sort of threat to us, right? Had you even considered that we—practical GENIUSES of the modern technological age—may not have planned to stop at these suits? ”

—Wasn’t that one of Donnie’s aliases?

Kendra roughly shoves Jeremy aside as she crouches back down to eye-level with you. In this moment, you begin to entertain the thought that maybe, just maybe—

“ Your naïveté is sickeningly cute, Vivi, this wasn’t our goal. ”

—you might have bitten off more than you can chew.

You opened your mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Panic was washing over you.

With ice coursing through your veins, you thought about calling Donnie. Maybe if you confess everything about being Violet Virus, he’ll come help?

Or, would he be mad that you kept such a secret and did something so reckless by yourself? A heat wells up in your chest, igniting a fight with the chills. Flashes of hot and cold ran over you as the pieces fell into place.

How long have they known you were working with Shelldon?

Did they let you sneak in this far?

Were you just a stepping stone to get Shelldon?

…

Do they know your identity?

Your mouth dries at that notion. You need to hurry and turn these tides, but before you could put any plan forth, the wall beside you crumbles as a familiar short stature burst through.

The little robot gave heavy thuds as his feet rose and fell against the floor without any personality.

How did everything go so wrong?

“ Shelldon? “

Tone low, hardly loud enough to even be a whisper, you stared wide-eyed at a robot without a twinge of the boy you knew.

“ Shelldon’s not his name anymore, Violet Virus. ”

Kendra’s suit rises above you then moves to tower beside Shelldon. She raises her mechanical hand and rests it firmly on his shoulder.

“ This is Pulverizer now! ”

A series of “ no’s ” fall from your lips as you scramble to your feet and close the gap between you and Shelldon. Your hands tremble around him, unsure where to rest while Kendra breaks down in laughter beside you both.

You could see the computing of some program flickering behind Shelldon’s eyes, indicated some software actively downloading. He remained unfazed by your presence.

“ Shelldon, no, no, no, what are they doing to you?! I have to get you out of here, I’m so—“

“ Pulverizer, engage combat program ZG.09X, ”

Kendra interjects, barking some sort of command. You glance to her then back to Shelldon, baffled as he seems to respond only to that and not any of your efforts. Your eyes widen as his arm begins reeling back.

“ What did they do to y—“

A quick thwack interrupts you as Shelldon socks you across the jaw with a force so heavy it sends you to the floor a few feet. The hit cracked and crumbled part of your mask as bits of it sprinkle the path from Shelldon to where you’d landed. Your glasses had been slightly bent from your head knocking against the floor. The pain throbs through your skull, ebbing from the cheek your hand rose to caress in disbelief.

“ D-Donnie.. ”

As you stared at Shelldon thunking towards you, you couldn’t help but tremble and wish you weren’t alone. This was too much for you, and you found yourself imagining what it would have been like if you had teamed up with Donnie in the beginning instead of being a solo-hero.

Shelldon reels his arm back again, and you raise yours in a feeble attempt to shield yourself.

Shutting your eyes tight, you brace for the impact.

“ SHELLDON, PROTOCOL BOGEY-DOWN 61E9 ACTIVATE! ”

“ What—!? ”

Kendra whips her head around towards the same entrance Shelldon initially created.

You stare wide eyed as your boyfriend bursts in and shouts a command to Shelldon. His dramatic entrance is punctuated by him riding his tech-bo like a hoverboard.

Donnie jumps off, landing straight into Kendra’s mech with enough force to topple it over. He casts a glance in your direction, squints with suspicion, but then turns back to Kendra.

“ I knew it—SEE, I knew it! ”

The purple-banded turtle paces in front of the dazed Kendra, throwing his hands up in frustration. He stops to point back and forth between Shelldon and the rest of the Purple Dragons.

“ Who else could be meddling with MY son’s database but this group of wannabes! “

“ W-Wannabes? Othello von Ryan, this is whe.. damn.. ”

Winded, Kendra takes a pause to catch her breath. Jason tries to come and help her up but gets swatted away immediately. Angrily, she huffs and operates the suit to shove itself back onto its feet.

“ Get AWAY from me, Jase, UGH! Othello Von Ryan, prepare to be defeated by our revenge! Pulverizer, engage combat program ZG.734! ”

She cackles maniacally, jabbing a finger in Donnie’s direction. When Shelldon doesn’t move, the speaker goes quiet for a few beats.

Then, it starts playing a bunch of loud clanks, likely from Kendra frustratedly hitting things inside the suit.

Donnie, however, glances at Shelldon then back at Kendra and stomps his foot. He points an accusatory finger in her direction.

“ Oh by Galileo, if you lot did anything nefarious to Shelldon’s programming, so help me! ”

Sheldon’s fist wavers a few inches from you as different lines of code scroll past his eyes, registering the command Donnie called out. After hearing Kendra’s command, the lines of code began rapidly switching direction until a click resounds. He blinks a few times then looks down at you.

“ No! Damn it, what happened!? ”

Kendra pummels the ground enough times to leave a hefty dent.

Donnie scoffs at her, crouching to stare into the visual receptors of the mech-suit.

“ I see you did not consider I may have created an anti-dragons program with the idea that you would want to control my tech again, did you? ”

As Shelldon came back to his senses, he glanced every which way in confusion. One second he was being interrogated, the next..

“ Your distress signal! Y/—I mean, Violet Virus, bro, what’s the haps? How’d I get here? Ohh, Donnie’s gonna be so pissed at me, dude, he almost found out ab—“

You gawk at Shelldon’s loud voice, shushing him loudly. Whispering, you quickly scold him.

“ Shelldon! We can discuss it later, but right now we need to get out of h—“

As you gesture to leave, you are instead met with Donnie being sent flying straight into you. Your foreheads collide as you’re sent back against the ground with him dazed over you.

“ Technologically advanced mecha suits is an upgrade from our last encounter, I’ll give you that! ”

One of Donnie’s hands rests beside your head while the other holds his forehead, rubbing where you both collided. He groans in pain.

Similarly, you hold both hands against your forehead and writhe dramatically beneath Donnie at the pain echoing from not just your lower jaw where Shelldon struck you, but your forehead too now.

“ Ow, ow, oww! Donnie, that… that.. hurt.. ”

Your voice peters off as you look up at him. The fear was already beginning to melt away as your eyes scan across his face. He had such an uncanny habit of coming when you called, and this situation was no different. As relief washes over you, you forget yourself for a second and reach to give him a kiss. You’re just so lucky to have someone so dependable as him, even in situations where he didn’t mean it. You vow to tell him everything after this.

As your hands cup the sides of his face, Donnie opens his eyes to see you leaning in.

“ Whoa—HEY? ”

Mechanical limbs splay out of his shell and quickly put distance between you and him, stirring a squeak of surprise from you as he stares at you bewildered.

“ I don’t know you! This is a complete violation of personal space and my individual rights! ”

He shouts in disbelief, covering himself like a woman caught naked.

… Oh..

Oh yeah.

Your face flushes with embarrassment instantly. Right now you aren’t Donnie’s girlfriend, but rather Violet Virus. You stand up, ready to explain yourself, only to be immediately knocked back down to your knees as an explosion from another one of Kendra’s projectiles goes off behind you. Donnie’s attention shifts from you to the Purple Dragons.

“ What sort of looney tries to kiss stranger during combat, he exclaims in disbelief! ”

Donnie vents aloud as he twirls his tech-bo around his body. Generating enough speed from the action, he then lunges towards Kendra. Right before he strikes, his index taps a button on the shaft of the swirling bo. Its speed increases as the tip shifts into a hammer-like shape and propels like a rocket to clock Kendra’s super-suit mech across the face. The strike is heavy enough that the robot’s head twists and twists the wrong direction until it pops clean off.

“ No, it’s not like that—and don’t call me a looney! Just, you know me! ”

“ No I don’t! The nerve of some people. I feel the need to add I am a happily taken man! “

You stumble over your words as you try to explain yourself. Slamming your palms against the floor, you inject another offensive virus into the room’s system as your glasses accelerate your visual capacities to keep up with Jeremy’s suit. Just as the program goes into effect, you’re pulled back as Jason’s arm catches your neck in his elbow.

He pulls you back, choking you as the program sets loose through the wires held in the cabinet. The cables surge out and land upon Jeremy’s suit, connecting to ports and lighting it up with enough power to overload and shut down the entire contraption. He gets lit up like a Christmas tree for a second before the suit slams into the ground non-responsive.

You hear a low ‘ damn it! ‘ from inside his suit.

Kicking your feet to try and be free from Jason’s grip, you’re let go only after Shelldon lands one of his heavy, rocket-powered punches to send the boy across the room. Even though he’s an enemy, you wince sympathetically at how much that must’ve hurt.

“ Thanks Shelldon.. ”

You murmur, rubbing your neck. Shelldon beams with pride towards you until Donnie steps between you both. His mechanical spider limbs shooting out once more to make some distance between you two.

" I’d appreciate you not fraternizing with the enemy, Shelldon. ”

He steps away from you and closer to Shelldon.

“ But Donnie, Violet Virus isn’t the enemy! ”

“ Yeah, I’m not an enemy, Donnie, just listen to me for a second! ”

“ Firstly, Shelldon, you’re on a friendly name basis with this fiend?! And secondly, Violet Virus, how do you know who I am? Does my reputation exceed me, I wonder? ”

He pauses for a moment to think to himself, likely basking in the idea of his popularity reaching farther, then shakes away the thought. Donnie takes a few steps closer to you with an intimidating air.

“ This is no good, no, no. Violet Virus, might it have been you who— Hold on. ”

As his gaze fixates on your glasses, you sharply suck in a breath by accident. Coughing, everything you wanted to say caught up too quick for even a single word to slip out. You needed to tell him! What will he think, that you’re a thief?

“ Wait—“

“ How do you have that, that’s.. Wait. ”

He crosses his arms, tapping his index against his bicep as he circles around you. Donnie stops in front of you, hums something mid-thought, then cracks a smile.

“ Ah, I get it now. How clever you are, my dear. ”

“ What? ”

You hesitate as he closes the gap between you both. His face softens as his hands make quick work of sliding your broken mask off. Without needing to explain a word, it seems he made quick work of who you were.

“ So this is what you’ve been up to.. Why? ”

His hand caresses your cheek.

“ I… Wanted to get back at the Purple Dragons—for you.. ”

Donnie cracks a bigger grin and chuckles, leaning a bit to plant a chaste kiss on your lips.

“ We can discuss this when we get home, then. ”

#rise tmnt donnie x reader #rise tmnt Donatello X reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt donatello x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt donatello x reader #Donnie x reader #Donatello x reader

139 notes · View notes

howlingday · 27 days ago

Text

Gentlemen Weaver's Club

Jaune: Penny, I'm going out shopping. Is there anything you want while I'm out?

Penny: Mm... I want syrup cakes, like Professor Goodwitch has!

Jaune: I... don't know that kind, but if I find some, I will see about buying them for you.

Penny: Please~? Melanie Malachite promised to bring me a cake, but she never did!

Melanie Malachite did not, in fact, make such promises.

Jaune: I'll do my best. Be safe in here, sweetheart~!

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (Thinking) I'm so glad she and the Malachite girls are becoming such good friends. Blake has been very worried ever since Penny came home after her first negative mark. I need to do what I can to make sure their friendship lasts!.

Jaune: Oh, maybe those guys over there know where I can get some syrup cakes. But... What if it's too weird that I wouldn't know? Should it be common knowledge to know where to buy cakes? No! I can't risk it! I have to do this on my own!.

Neighbor: Good morning, Mr. Belladina-

Jaune: (Darts down the street) ON MY OWN~!

Neighbor: Ho ho ho... So lively this morning...

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: Maybe there's a department store that sells cakes. Ugh... I've never been to these kinds of places alone. Maybe this was a bad idea?.

Vendor: Excuse me, sir, might I interest you in this parfum? One puff and you'll have to beat the ladies back with a stick~!

Jaune: A gas that turns women feral around you?! It's such a tempting execution, but I can't! I have to be normal!.

Jaune: Erm, n-no gas grenades for me, sir! I am a normal husband! I'm just buying sweets for my sweet Penny!

Vendor: Ah, you want the bakery! It's the next floor down.

Jaune: Thank you! (Hurries away)

Jaune: I was right! This was a bad idea! There's so many tempting items, I'd be out of money without Blake! I need to focus and find those cakes! For Penny!.

???: Can't you hurry, Charlem?

Butler: I... I'm trying, sir, but... You've bought so much...

???: Then stand aside and let me- Whoa!

Butler: SIR! LOOK OUT!

???: (Falls backwards)

Jaune: (Catches man and his boxes) You okay?

???: (Clasps hands) THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!

Jaune: What?!

???: You came in from out of nowhere, all- Swash! Swosh! Swush! You must be some kind of athlete? Tell me, are you from out of town?

Jaune: Whuh- N-No, I live here! I'm just here for syrup cakes!

???: Then you're not busy at all~! Please, join me, would you?

Jaune: No, really, I'm just here for the cakes.

???: Well, it's the least I can do! Charlem, gift him ten boxes!

Jaune: (Ten boxes in his hands) Whoa! So fast!

???: Please, I insisit!

Butler: Oh, athletic and acrobatic savior, please accept these tokens of my master's gratitude.

Jaune: O-Oh...

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: ...HUH?! Why am I wearing this?!

???: Ho ho! It looks dashing on you~!

Man: Is this he, Argynt?

Guy: Our ringer?

???: Ho ho! Indeed, he is!

Jaune: Wh-What is going on?

???: This is the Genteman Weaver's Club, an organization of like-minded patriot husbands who serve our Kingdom however we can within our community! You're just in time for our track meet warm-up!

Jaune: Is... this normal for dads?

Sir: You don't know?

Dude: It is now! Daddy Tracksters are all the rage at the moment! Keeps us men fit while our wives work themselves to the bone on our behalfs!

Jaune: If... If track meets are normal, then... Then I will compete!

???: That's the spirit!

--------------------------------------------------

???: Ho ho ho ho ho! We may not have won, but even a loss is worth it to see the fear on East Side's faces~! And it's all thanks to you, Jaune!

Jaune: But... all I did was trample our teammates and knock people over...

Gent: That's the thrill of these track meets! Having a young stallion like yourself on the field serves as morale booster for ourselves and delivers a demoralizing shockwave to our foes!

Waiter: And what will the gentlemen be having today?

???: I will have the Espirit Coerlum.

Sir: What about you, Jaune?

Jaune: Uh... I guess I'll have a, espree-whatsit.

???: Oh, Jaune... Don't tell me you're one of those kinds of lads just trying to fit in. Order whatever you want.

Jaune: No, no, I'm completely normal!

Guy: So, Jaune, are you married?

Jaune: Yes, I am.

Dude: Any kids?

Jaune: Just one, but... I'm more of a step-dad than a real dad. Sometimes I feel like whatever I do is not enough. Even as a husband, sometimes I feel like I don't know what to do.

Man: HA! Welcome to the brotherhood, then! I've got a kid of my own, flesh and blood, and I still don't know what goes on inside his damn head!

Sir: It's half the reason we get together like this!

Jaune: R-Really?

Jaune: Not knowing what to do... is normal?.

???: Oh, this is fun. I do hope you join us again sometime. Despite how we look, the Gentleman Weavers Club isn't as rough and tumble as you think.

Jaune: If... If you'll have me... I promise to knock over only the people I'm supposed to next time!

???: Ho ho ho! Now who's all rough and tumble?

Guy: Speaking of, Argynt, you won't believe this. My boy got himself a negative mark. Caught with a sandwich outside of meal time!

Jaune: Negative mark? Then... does that mean your son goes to Beacon Academy?

Sir: Oh? Do your girl go there? What grade?

Jaune: She's in the beginner classes.

???: Belladina... Belladina... OH! Goodness! How fortuitous it is for us to meet like this?! Do pardon my manners, as I never properly introduced myself. My name is Argynt...

Argynt: ARGYNT AQUOS MALACHITE.

#rwby #jaune arc #penny poledina #rwby au #spy x family #knightshade au #rwby oc #rwby ocs #blake belladonna #belladina au #knightshade

42 notes · View notes

noscomephobic · 5 months ago

Note

You’re a fucking god.

you’re not human. /pos

YOU ARE A POWERFUL BEING.

do you have a twitch account-

Awh I don't unfortunately, I would like to stream my art but then again,, how the hell am i going to stream on phone

#DUDE PEOPLE WHO DRAW ON PHONE ARE SO MAGICAL #YOURE MAGICAL #LIKE WHUH #HUH #HOW #AAAAA #anyways anarchy #whu #meow

11 notes · View notes

revletter · 1 year ago

Text

Genovember Day 26: A story both Bowser and Geno still tell to this day - but only Bowser knows the punch line.

So for Genovember, I've been WRITING Geno every day. Mostly work on long things, but lots and LOTS of goofy short things. And I had a crazy thought today that maybe I should actually freakin post some of them 👀

Here's one! (cw: alcohol)

Geno and Bowser go to the Grate Guy casino together

Bowser eggs Geno on to get into a one-on-one drinking contest with him

Geno declines for a while, because he's 100% sure alcohol would have no effect on a doll and he doesn't want to hurt Bowser

Bowser doesn't quit until finally Geno's like, "Dude, if you REALLY want to play a game you KNOW you're going to lose, fine. You're buying."

They have some surprisingly genuine bonding time as Bowser gets drunker and drunker and opens up in ways Geno didn't expect

Geno is very understanding as he keeps up with Bowser shot for shot - no effect on him, nothing, nada

And THEN

Bowser pisses someone off

Slowly it becomes clear that a bar fight is about to close in on them

And, with his pal Bowser absolutely sloppy-sloshed, Geno realizes that HE'S going to have to deal with it.

There they are, about to face off against a bar full of angry thuggernauts or whatever

Geno is 100% annoyed but also 100% here to defend his ally

Bowser is 200% READY for this fight and 0% able to tell the difference between a person and a barstool

and then

just before it goes down

Geno's like

"Yo Bowser."

"Weh?"

"I just realized something."

"Whuh?"

"I can get drunk!"

And Geno falls on his face.

Bowser proceeds to get ABSOLUTELY TROUNCED by the ENTIRE BAR

(Throughout this, Geno just lies there about 0.5% conscious and feeling quite excellent, and through some dumb luck remains blissfully unharmed; he will not remember any of it)

They both get thrown out of the bar (Geno is still very much not awake for this)

And that's the story of how Bowser and Geno got banned from the Grate Guy Casino.

#did Bowser ever tell Geno he also got banned?#absolutely not #what a fun surprise for another day!#genovember #writing #geno #geno smrpg #bowser #smrpg #super mario rpg #supermariorpg #minific #bar fight #alcohol references

86 notes · View notes

lifenconcepts · 1 month ago

Note

id give my last breath if it ment you lived a thousand years of hope. I'd give my hearts last pump if it ment you could see how much of a nice person you are. I'd give you my soul if it ment you were truly happy. You deserve the best no matter what you have been through. I'm proud of you buddy.

( A compliment from us :33 )

I… I’m honestly at a loss for words.. ?!?! I HSIXBKDKHZIBD WHUH!!!? THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Dude I can’t even muster up my usual smart reply I’m just staring at this in awe.. u think I reread this twenty times. Wow.

Sitting like this for the past 5 minutes and will continue on for a century more

#Divine illumination

14 notes · View notes

druidshollow · 1 year ago

Note

Dune shitpost jumpscare

Oh ya all need references to make fanart?? Cowards. Search through the artist's posts until you find the only two coloured images of the character like it's a shiny pokemon hunt.

*makes several design mistakes*

LMAOOOOO

ME OPENING MY ASKBOX RN. WHUH???? WUH GUH????? GUHHH????????????????????

dude your art is so cool she looks so poggers epic cool in your artstyle EVRYONE LOOK also very accurate memes can i make "can i be mean" my discord icon pls

#for me #os dune #dune #off string au #AWUAAAHHH THANK YOU FOR DRAWinG HER WAH

63 notes · View notes

xf-cases-solved · 2 months ago

Text

S2E5: Duane Barry

Case: Our episode finds us in Virginia. I know this because it is the literal first thing written down in my notes. I'm learning. (No I'm not.)

Anyway. This episode, which takes place in Virginia, is part one of a three part (+ one weird fever dream episode) plot arc that will be extremely relevant to the rest of the overall plot of the X-Files from here on out. Everybody thank Gillian Anderson's daughter Piper for existing, and also Gillian Anderson for putting up with extremely questionable treatment from the show runners while she was pregnant, instead of just rage quitting like I probably would have. (She went back to work 10 days after having a C-section and they LET her, that's fucking INSANE and makes me so mad on her behalf lol.)

But I digress.

Duane Barry! He might not have had to go film a TV show ten days after major surgery and like, giving life to a human being, but he sure is going through it, huh? Poor dude can't stop getting abducted by aliens. Probably. That, or he is suffering from a violent and unpredictable psychosis. It's one or the other for sure. And that wouldn't really be anybody's problem, except Duane has decided that he's done with the tests and teeth drilling, tyvm, and would like someone else to have a turn, so he captures his psychiatrist and busts out of the mental institution, intending to offer the psych up as tribute to the aliens. Unfortunately for Duane, however, he doesn't actually remember where the aliens said they'd pick him up at, so he hits up a travel agency, which ultimately devolves into him holding three workers plus the psychiatrist hostage.

Enter Mulder and our favorite punkass bitch sidekick, Alex Krycek! 😃

Mulder, being the alien abductee whisperer that he is, gains Duane's trust, and we are kept on our toes as the episode does a pretty solid job at drawing out the suspense as we (along with Mulder) are ping-ponged back and forth about whether or not Duane is who and what he says he is. By the end of the episode there is still a lingering doubt, BUT, a very unsettling voicemail on Mulder's answering machine tells us we're gonna have bigger things to worry about now.

An agent, who I just now realized I recognize because she played a doctor on ER, asks Mulder to help with a hostage negotiation because he knows things about alien abductions, and then is surprised and irate when he makes the conversation about alien abductions; that same agent makes Krycek get her a grande 2% cappuccino with vanilla, which earns her my eternal love; Scully buys an entire bag of groceries for $11.14, and also breaks the barcode scanner with an unidentified metal implant and then just sort of shrugs at the store clerk and leaves; and a "Mulder, it's me" phone call ends with the sound of screams for help and broken glass, whuh-oh!

Oh, and this is the episode with the red speedo.

Welcome, friends, to the Abduction Arc!

Does someone die in the cold open: No, but things aren't really going great either. Not that they ever tend to be going great in X-Files' cold opens.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: No. No Mulder+Krycek slideshows 😡

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Ok, so the "case" this time was technically "do the hostage negotiation and get the hostages out alive," so evidence wasn't needed. Ig.

Whodunit: Duane Barry, our favorite kidnapper and alien abductee [citation needed]!

Convictions: Lol, I literally just blew out a sigh and said "ummm" out loud to myself alone in my office, that's embarrassing, but also... we'll come back to this question next episode.

Did they solve it: Because Mulder did get the hostages out of the building safely, and because I know it's gonna be a minute before he or Scully have any real wins in their lives, I will give them this.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Bulgaria's maternity leave laws. 58 weeks at 90% pay the entire time. In the United States you are lucky if you get six weeks, and even luckier if it's paid. And sometimes your boss makes you film a TV show ten days after giving birth through a giant gaping wound in your abdomen. (I know they were technically filming in Canada at the time, but it's an American TV show, so I'm counting it as United States bullshit.) Anyway, we treat pregnant people terribly! But let's just. Not think about that. Abduction arc time!!

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 15 (not even gonna bother restarting the streak tho. y'all just hang in there for a bit, i'm sure things will start looking up soon. ish. probably)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 9 (three in total, and the last one ends poorly)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 9 ½ (could have easily been shot at any time)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 9 (went back and forth on this, bc i know how this whole arc ends, but i think that if we look at this episode alone, and don't skip ahead, being kidnapped by a mentally unstable person who is known to be violent definitely counts as being in mortal danger)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 14 (no, but dw, this stat is gonna get some mileage here soon)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 5 (gdi. i had a funny one liner, but i know for a fact there is at least one person reading these in real time with their first watch-through, so i am trying very hard not to make jokes that are spoilery 🤐)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 18 (no X 😔)

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3

Total Number of (Plot Relevant) Nosebleeds: 5

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 3 (no, but he did repeatedly break hostage negotiation protocol, which is similar in spirit if not practice)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 4

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 9

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 2

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 2!!!!!! (get that coffee, you loser)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 11½ (i wrote that shit down like a person without an attention deficit disorder, hell yeah 😎)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5

#txf cases solved #s2e5: duane barry #msr #txf #the x-files

11 notes · View notes