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rainydayathogwarts · 3 months ago

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Off limits - Remus Lupin

summary: remus can't help but liking the one person who's off limits, but it seems like they him too. idk what my problem is with remus and any marauder sibling reader but it seems to be a recurring theme on this blog. wc: 1.8k+

The soft click of your heels on the ground is drowned by your laughs. You and Narcissa walk down the hallway, arms linked together, neither of you in any rush to make it to your next class in time. Remus can’t help but stare at you from where he and the marauders are jammed in a corner, plotting their next prank on Professor Binns in an attempt to make his lessons a little more interesting. Sirius follows his line of vision and says “Oh they think they’re so much better than the rest of us, these two.” He huffs, adding in a mocking, and slightly envious tone “The perfect Black cousins. Married by twenty and successful without working a day in their lives.”

Right. There was the fact that you were Sirius’s sister that always managed to slightly influence his opinions of you. Similarly to Sirius, you had an inexplicable elegance to you, with your head held high and an ego that was excused by your intelligence.

Remus sighed, watching as you disappeared behind the corner of the hallway, a last flash of your smile catching his eye before he lost sight of you. “Right.” He scoffed, turning his gaze towards Sirius. He internally cringed. There was nothing Remus could say or do that would ever make Sirius forgive him for liking his ever-praised sister, so he kept his thought to himself. Call it the halo effect, but Remus was convinced that you were a good person, despite being a Slytherin who seemed to get along with her evil parents. James clapped Remus on the shoulder as he got up, a sign of the boys leaving to their classes.

When Remus slipped through the door to the potions classroom, his eyes instantly landed on you and the empty seat beside you. His seat. Wordlessly, he sat by you, just in time for Slughorn to enter the room. Your posture made Remus insecure of his own, instantly straightening his back and catching view of your legs swinging slowly underneath the tall stool. Slughorn’s boring drawl nearly lulled him to sleep, and he was ecstatic to find that you shared the same opinion, opening your notebook and quill to begin scrawling words over a blank page. Remus looked over your shoulder, watching as you took your time to write neat letters that formed the phrase 'Could not care less what sluggy has to say.' Remus didn’t care that anyone could tell he was reading your note to Narcissa, an amused smile forming on his face.

Narcissa returned your notebook with a short new sentence added to it. 'Sameee. Hogsmeade after?' Shutting your notebook, you nodded curtly at your cousin, sighing silently. He understood where Sirius was coming from. You and Narcissa didn’t only share your perfect reputation within the pureblood community, but around Hogwarts too. When Slughorn passed around your graded papers, he even smiled at you, and Remus couldn’t even be angry at the favouritism because he knew he felt the same. The ‘Outstanding!’ on your paper shone in red ink that could be seen from the other side of the room. Remus wasn’t surprised when he saw the matching grade his paper held, but it seemed impressive when you did it.

You glanced at your neighbour’s paper, angling your head slightly and shooting Remus a smile in congratulations. Remus gulped, feeling his heart beat particularly hard in his chest, and he was barely able to return a grimace before you turned away. Shit, Sirius would hate him right now.

At Hogsmeade, you and Narcissa giggled over a butterbeer about your crush on the forbidden boy, your cheeks gaining heat with every passing thought about him. “He’s Sirius’s best friend, he's off limits.” Narcissa shrugged her shoulders at you, mumbling something incoherent into the rim of her butterbeer. “And even so!” You started again, “Salazar knows Sirius has probably spoken so badly about me to him that he wouldn’t be able to look at me that way.” Narcissa’s eyes widened in front of you, and you spun in your seat to see what she was staring at. There he was, in full glory, walking into the Three Broomsticks on a Wednesday afternoon, Remus Lupin. “Coincidence? I think not.” Your cousin whispered to you, watching in amusement at the way you fixed your posture and hair in a quick second before shooting Remus a smile from where you sat.

Sirius squinted at you from the entryway of the pub, facing his best friend and asking “Why the hell is my sister smiling at you?” Remus made a noise, shrugging his shoulders in mock cluelessness. “What is she up to?” Sirius added, glaring at you when you waved at him with a smile. Whether it was genuine or not, it didn’t matter; Sirius would forever hate you for abiding by your parents’ rules.

You faced Narcissa once more, muttering “Did they look away yet?” And waiting for the nod of her head, eyes trained on Sirius as he walked to the bar, returning his unforgiving stare. You slumped against the table with a groan. “See what I mean?” The unsure hum from in front of you had your head snapping up once more, raising your eyebrows at the blonde woman. “What does that mean?” Narcissa cocked her head to the side, a grin forming on her face. “You think tall Mr. Lupin can’t see what you’re writing down in class? He’s definitely the one who suggested coming here.” When you shot Narcissa an unimpressed look, she added in a sing-song voice “Because he likes you!” You rolled your eyes, leaning on your arms again. “Don’t feed into my delusions.”

You and Narcissa stood up in unison, making a beeline for the pub’s exit when you came face to face with your brother. He and his friends were all carrying a bottle of the famous drink. A quick in and out of the cozy pub. Sirius didn’t tear his gaze off you for a single second as you scanned the group of people he was with, and finally, you said “What, are you stalking me or something?”

Your brother sneered at you, and the expression on his face instantly sent a painful pang to your chest. “Don’t flatter yourself. We wouldn’t be here if Remus didn’t suggest a trip down here.” Narcissa’s pleasantly surprised giggle communicated all the emotions you felt in that moment, and you let a smile creep up your face at the revelation, glancing at the boy stood next to your brother. His cheeks had turned rosy: he knew that you knew what he did. Your brother didn’t seem happy with the look on your face, and especially not with the next sentence that came out of your mouth. “Yeah? Well, I’ll see you around Lupin.” You winked at the chestnut haired boy before spinning on the balls of your feet and walking out into the fresh air with Narcissa on your heels. There was no need to witness the interaction that took place behind you to know that Sirius was angry, pointing an accusatory finger at Remus as he questioned him about your relationship, or lack thereof. “Don’t fall for her tricks Remus, she’s just trying to get to me!” Sirius had stressed after Remus had assured him that he had no idea what you meant. What Sirius didn’t notice was the way Remus’s face had fell at his comment, all hope of your potential feelings towards him falling apart.

‘Well, I’ll see you around Lupin’ Your melodic voice echoed through Remus’s mind as he followed Sirius and James, a few steps behind the pair whilst thinking of the smile you had shot him. The same sentence resonated in Remus’s mind as he laid in bed that same night, causing him to toss and turn within the confines of his four-poster bed, tightly shutting his eyes in a weak attempt to eliminate your siren song from restlessly repeated itself. Remus groaned, sitting up in bed and shoving the curtain of his bed open, sliding his feet into warm slippers at the bottom of his bed, letting his legs guide him down the the staircase and out of the common room, into the darkness of the deserted hallways oh Hogwarts. It wasn’t long until Remus found himself in uncharted territory, that of which he only visited when attending his potions lessons. Remus cursed himself out, spinning around in the vast hallways. He barely recognised this side of Hogwarts in the dead of night.

An amused hum had Remus reeling around towards the sound, a scared expression on his face. He should have just tried harder to sleep, tried harder to ignore your captivating song, dragging him to an unknown side of the castle. Your laugh resonated in the hallway, and Remus turned once more, this time stopping to find himself face to face with you. Remus gulped harshly, eyes locked with yours from where you hunted him like a prey from the other end of the hallway. “Remus Lupin. In the land of the enemy.” Remus’s mouth dropped open with an inaudible gasp as he took in your nighttime attire. Your joggers and tank top paired with your bare face and animal themed slippers contrasted widely with your regular appearance, though you didn’t seem to care what you looked like in front of your brother’s best friend. Your hands were crossed over your chest, a genuine smile on your face at the sight of the tired boy. Silently, the boy walked towards you, stopping only when he was a couple of feet from you.

“Mr. Lupin. Or should I call you my secret admirer?” Remus blinked slowly, and for a moment you feared that he would fall asleep on the spot, but with a slow rub of his fists against his eyes, Remus mumbled shyly “I didn’t know it was that obvious.” You stepped forward, reaching out to grasp Remus’s jumper, the soft fabric lacing between your fingers, and you tugged softly, pulling him closer to you until your chests touched. “Kiss me Remus.” You begged, hand closing into a fist on his jumper. With his hands trailing to your hips, Remus fulfilled your request, leaning down to press his chapped lips against your soft ones. With a quiet moan of satisfaction, you brought your second hand up to grip his jumper, trying to use your grip to pull him closer to you. Remus broke the kiss with a sigh, leaning his forehead against yours with his eyes shut, a mix of his joy and sleepiness.

You brought your hands to the nape of Remus’s neck, playing with his short hair and sending a shiver down his spine.

“Remus?” You asked, and Remus replied with a noise of acknowledgment. “Remus?” Remus furrowed his eyebrows, eyes shooting open just as he heard a last call of his name. “Remus!” The boy gasped, sitting up straight only to find himself in his bed, a frustrated Sirius standing on the side of his bed, mumbling something about being late to class. The sun shot beautiful golden rays into the room, a reminder of the new day that had come. Tiredly, Remus thought ‘Why did it have to be this sibling I woke up next to?’

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mbirnsings-71 · 5 months ago

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Sluggy I gotta be honest with you buddy... I don't have set characters for each role and I have not thought hard about who gets unicorned in my AU but I think in my heart it's gotta be Roy again. Something Something Jade asks for a divorce and tries to drive it off because ow??? BUT THEN BOOM REBAR THROUGH THE HEAD- I just like taking individual storylines from characters and throwing them on who I think would suit it well and also I refuse to kill my Shannon character here damn it-

Boys I forgot I was coloring in a Roy doodle last night uhhhh I got sidetracked big time-

#madi's 9-1-1 DC au tag #SHANNON DIAZ I MISS YOU #and so Jade gets to live out her life without death and her and Roy get to be amazing co parents trust #also something something Roy realizing he's been lying to himself and having the realization he's on the aromantic spectrum as it's my #personal headcannon for him #I'M SORRY I DON'T HAVE LIKE EXACT SLOTS FOR CHARACTERS FOR WHO THEY GO TO CAUSE WHILE BIRDFLASH COULD FIT BUDDIE THEY ALSO ARE SO GOOD FOR #OTHER STORY LINES AND JUST PICKING AND CHOOSING MY BELOVED #Sluggy :D!!#I need to actually write and publish stuff for this au so you all can understand the insanity that goes on in my brain cause this doc is 12 #pages long man IT'S LONG WITH INFO

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vexxandra · 2 months ago

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25 predictions for 2025 (pick-a-card reading)

happy new year sillies <3 01-01-2025 ☆

disclaimer: all of my readings are just for fun, you write your own story every day of your life, dont let me tell you how to live it

pile 1 > pile 2 pile 3 > pile 4

pile 1

biggest theme: change

reflexion and redirection are major elements of the new year

breaking free of past shackles : discarding old things

miracle year, a lot of wonderful things are coming

be selfish. you are in charge of your own happiness

you will learn to love yourself this year

fulfilling year especially in terms of career or academics. make sure to properly prepare in order to gain an edge over others

early bird gets the worm mentality

"winter arc" mindset the whole year. "lock in"

first six months will be very busy, you'll focus on yourself and not have the time for romance

learning how to collaborate with others

big lesson: learning how to work through burnout

august 2025 will be a very happy month for you

potential summer fling, will reginite flames you didn't know you had

some kind of soul fulfillment, could potentially be romantic or personal

imbalanced feminine energy, learning to reconnect with your divine feminine

a turbulent period will occur (im hearing mercury retrograde)

last half of the year might be grey

sleepy energy, taking things slower

make sure to rest, dont push yourself to move when sluggy

you're going to end the year with a nice energy. i see you surrounded by lots of family, friends and people you hold dear

if last year did not feel chrismassy, dont worry, because this year will

an extra message about children and new families. pregancy within you or another may occur

releasing all anxieties caused by this year, and a lot of reflexion

overall a pretty good year, some guidance i might give would be to not push yourself over the edge, and try not to drink too much caffiene <3

pile 2

biggest theme: self love

i get the feeling you've lost someone very important this year, most likely a break up, but you still have feelings for them

disillusionment and prioritizing yourself are big themes for this year

you're going to recognize that this person was pretty toxic and will take them off of their pedestal

learning how to fall in love again, with yourself and with life

reconnecting with your femininity

a lot of themes about toxicity and distancing yourself from people that don't have your best interests at heart

crown chakra healing by taking one day at a time (a LOT of light purple imagery in this reading)

very tumultuous first few months of the year, you'll feel like your life is flipping upside down and rightside up for a while

reconnecting with your spiritual guides and your spirituality/religion will bring you peace

if you're not religious, exploring some concepts may occupy your time

potential new romantic interest, but you must fall in love with yourself first

advice i can give would be to start something new, and to spend a lot of time by yourself. take yourself on dates and spend time with loved ones

sleep is very important this year, maybe consider starting a dream journal

i feel like most of you will get into some kind of artsy hobby this year. this can be anything from visual to musical to physical, but i can see it becoming a big passion

learning how to be more flexible in your thoughts and actions is a big lesson

springtime (particularly may) will be an amazing period

indie movie life in the spring, it'll feel like your life is straight out of a book

productivity, creativity, and happiness will be at an all-time high

you'll meet so many new people during this time, and im seeing some travelling too

child-like energy, almost like a giddy joy

make sure to not forget your responsabilities, i can see that you might be too caught up in your excitement and forget to balance work and play

overall very good year. it might not feel like it right now, but things are guarenteed to get better <3

some guidance i would give would be to reflect on your past, but never to dwell in it

pile 3

biggest theme: new beginnings and hope

amazing potential, i can see you're carrying something precious from 2024, and wanting it to grow in the new year

it will, but be sure to wait for the right time and approach it with dedication, consistency and care

strong foundations are laid, but be sure to not be reckless

good communication and problem resolving skills are going to be very important this year

flexibility and detachment are going to be vital too, dont try to control situations and dictate outcomes

forgive others for their mistakes but be sure to be assertive too

for those in a romantic relationship: this relationship will last a long time <3

messages about changing your identity, there will be a time when you dont recognize yourself, take some time to reconnect with your inner values

"lucky girl syndrome" mindset. you'll be attracting so many blessings this year

abundance really is yours this year, the cards are showing so many blessings coming your way

affirm to yourself that you have everything you desire, and it will appear

summertime will be an extremely happy period for you. i see a lot of happy memories being made, and a lot of productivity as well

the end of summer and fall might be when things slow down a little, i see a little more uncertainty and anxiety, but it will all pass

big emphasis on relationships this year, but mostly romantic

for those currently in a relationship, here is confirmation that your person is a soulmate and will be in your life long-term

for the singles out there, you'll soon meet an amazing person (timeframe: june or july)

in terms of academics and career, your year will be pretty tame

there will be important decisions to make, and that might stress you out, but the outcome will be good

bottom line: the ending of this year will be good, and there's nothing you can do to change that

important lessons you will need to learn will be to think things through before acting upon them, hanging with people you feel truly appreciate you, and walking away when you feel they don't

appearances may be deceiving, make sure the people you surround yourself with have your best interests at heart

do not compare yourself with others, this year will hammer in that lesson time and time again

overall a very good year, some guidance i would give would be to guard your heart from people with negative intentions. there are snakes and backstabbers everywhere, keep yourself safe <3

pile 4

biggest theme: self-improvement

this year you'll return to your roots, fully shedding your old life to try and reconnect with your innermost values

reassess what works for you and what doesn't, i sense a lot of toxcitity in your life

this year you'll develop many new relationships with many new people

these relationships will provide interpersonal insight: remember that you are who you surround yourself with

this year, you'll practice setting boundaries

its never aggressive to be assertive, and those who matter won't mind

despite the heavy focus on new relationships, prioritize yourself

going on walks, meditating, journalling and going on solo dates are all amazing ways to start to feel comfortable alone

this year will be full of endings, dont resist it, embrace it

change isn't inherently bad, just like how difference isn't inherently bad

very financially stable year, you'll be more open to taking career risks

if there were any financial struggles in the past year, take comfort in knowing there will be little to nothing of the sort in the future

be careful to not be boastful about your finances though, as its better to succeed in silence

you create your own happiness, you are the main character, stop relying on others to save you

this year, you'll stop seeking others validation and look inside of yourself to find what you've been searching for in others

you'll be stepping into a bad bitch energy this year, one that feels comfortable being alone or with others

strong leadership is something you'll be developping this year, as well as strong manifestation skills

you want it, you're going to get it!!

go after all of your goals this year, hesitance will do you no good

i can see that at the end of the year, you'll emerge a totally different person

you'll be more confident, self-assured and more joyful (i sense that autumn is an important time period)

overall, this year will be a fresh chapter in your life

you'll shed the old you, bad habits, and negative aspects to make way for a life and personality that's authentically you

some advice i would give would be to not be afraid to stand apart, dont worry about the opinions of others

speak of success, and it will come to you <3

#pac #pick a pile #tarot #pick a card #tarot reading #intuition #intuitive messages #pac tarot #intuitive #intuitive readings #free tarot reading #manifestation #have an amazing 2025 <3

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whorediaries-09 · 11 months ago

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I’ve been thinking alotttt about rivals! Remy where him and r have been hooking up but the r starts gaining feelings for rem and distants herself but rem is just like “what the hell?” And then they like admit their feelings when rem corners her one day curious😩

i'm sorry this took so long, but i hope you like this!!

friends;

pairing- remus lupin x reader warning(s)- cigarettes, alludes to sex, hurt/comfort. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- academic rivals to lovers is so precious to me you don't understand.

little train

' girl, I'm not with it, I'm way too far gone i'm not ready, eyes heavy now,'

'i can't believe i've to work with your pathetic ass,' he rolled his eyes, running his fingers through his hair. your eyes wandered over to the burn marks on them, probably from all the joints he smoked. you could hear his friends laughing behind his back. even peter, the quietest and the most tolerable of the lot, was laughing. you scowled, tilting your head to meet his eyes,

'i don't remember you saying that last night. you said i've a perfect ass. maybe you have a problem of short term memory loss?' in an instant, you saw his cheeks reddening and eyes widening comically when he registered your words. his hand slapped upon your mouth, trying to shut you up.

he received a flying paper ball on his head. he turned his head around to find sirius waving his index finger at him

'not in class, moony.' he said, as peter tried not to laugh. he was measuring the ingredients written on the blackboard.

'hello my lovely students!' slughorn's overly cheery voice rang throughout the classroom. the class sang him a dull good morning. it was winter after all, most of the students wanted nothing but to snuggle up in bed within the folds of their cozy blankets drinking hot chocolate. the only energetic person was sirius, and he sang,

'good morning sluggy!' slughorn knitted his eyebrows together at the nickname but didn't say anything.

'good morning, mr. black. i see you've preferred to follow the rules for once and sit on the desk assigned to you.' sirius shrugged his shoulders, batting his eyelashes.

'you and i, we're the best matchmakers, mr. slughorn. we're a team,' what he meant, the saints knew. perhaps that would be taking a step too far, because by the slight smirk on slughorn's face, he knew what sirius meant.

'mr. black, i prefer the student and professor dynamics between us better,' he replied, scratching his eyebrow with his fingernail. sirius groaned mockingly.

'okay class, settle down. we're making amortentia today.' raising your hand, you questioned,

'the love potion?'

'yes, exactly the love potion. of course no magic is as powerful to be able to imitate real love. however, it does create a powerful infatuation, with the person who gave it to the drinker. the scent varies based on what the person likes. it's a very complicated potion to make, but anyone who makes the perf-'

his speech was interrupted by a famished lily evans who was as red as her hair and a grinning james potter. her tie was loose, dangling off her collar and his hair was ruffled. lily's usually nicely ironed uniform was full of wrinkles.

'oh wow! head boy and head girl late to class!' slughorn scowled. by the look on his face, however, he was regretting his choice to let the ever infatuated james potter and the stubborn lily evans sit together.

'just sit down the both of you!' he scolded and they entered the classroom, lily's bag almost spilling parchment and ink bottles. slughorn coughed and continued,

'so as i was saying, who ever makes the perfect love potion gets-' he put his hand into his pocket, pulling out a little bottle full of a clear liquid. '-this. can anyone tell me what this is?'

'felix felicis.' sirius said. further words conversation wasn't recorded by your mind when remus bent down, whispering in your ear,

'do you think they hooked up?' you eyes widened as you looked at him. your eyes unconsciously travelled down to his chapped lips. the taste still remained on your tongue.

'do you like- actually think before speaking? james potter and lily evans hooking up! lily would rather die, he hates the guy.' remus shrugged his shoulder, a small smirk on his lips.

'i mean, look at us, we hate each other but the other day you wouldn't let me stop eating you out-'

'oh please shut up! just get the fucking ingredients!' he smiled, as you try to hide your face with you hair, suddenly very intrigued by your book.

'okay madam,' he said, mock saluting.

after a lot of banter and distractions you ended up with a potion which only looked seconds away from an explosion. there was certainly no 'mother of pearl' sheen or any rising steam in a characteristic spiral. even pearl dust couldn't save the disaster of a potion.

'oh god why did i have to work with you!' you gripped your hair with your fingers, almost pulling them off as you sat down on the chair, chewing on your lip.

'my grades will go down!' you snapped. he turned around, a wince on his face.

'so will mine. this shit is team work and if your grades go down, so will mine.' he stated. you rolled your eyes as he sat down beside you, his palm on your shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze.

'i shouldn't be comforting my academic rival but guess if you low, i go lower.' your ears perked up at the term. 'academic rival.' he didn't even consider you a friend. that's all you were to him, an academic rival, a benchmark to cross, a quick fuck when he was tired. you gulped slowly. suddenly, your throat felt very dry. you stared into his eyes, trying to decipher something, but trust god to give remus lupin the most dead eyes known to mankind.

'ohhh! we have a winner!' slughorn's voice pulled you from your thoughts. your head snapped to the source of commotion, expecting to find lily to be the winner- but it was sirius.

'mr. black, this felix felicis is yours,' he threw a charming grin to all the flushed young ladies and lads as his fingers wrapped around the little bottle. most of the girls and boys almost swooned at his antics, and some could be found a few seconds from fainting when he winked.

'get it padfoot!' james cheered. lily disapprovingly hit james' head with her book. james scowled.

'i want everybody to come and tell me what they smell in here. let's start with mr. black,' he smiled, staring at the eager faces of the young ladies and lads who surrounded him as if he was a trophy.

'i smell petrol, rain and my favorite tea. i can also smell..uh cherry flavored shampoo, and my cologne.' it was nothing very interesting. neither of them used cherry shampoo. and it wasn't just a flying rumor that sirius black rode a motorcycle.

'ah, good, good.' slughorn praised, patting his back. his eyes wandered about in the room before they stopped at your direction.

'okay yes, now you,' he said, instructing you to smell the potion. internally you called him an old cow. externally you smiled, a little more than actually required, and too fake to be a real smile. no comments were passed when you walked up to the front of the classroom, smelling the potion.

'ah- so i smell parchment, ink, coffee, vanilla....cigarettes and dark chocolate.' you stumbled upon your words when you found remus looking at you intently. you tried to ignore the burning gaze and how the blood rushed into your cheeks. slughorn coughed slightly,

'okay, now next student!' he clapped his hands together, trying to cut through the sudden tension in the room. you moved away from the smoking cauldron, walking towards your chair. sitting down, you pondered.

cigarettes? damn you, you hated cigarettes! you'd been reluctant to try one for the first time, but trust remus to roll you the perfect blunt and manipulate you to try it in the best way possible. you remembered coughing up the smoke onto his face.

dark chocolate? sure you enjoyed it here and there but it wasn't certainly something you loved. you wanted to rip out your hair.

the realization had been lingering upon your head from the last few weeks, but you didn't want to act upon it. a lot of people mistake lust for love. you were a teenager high on hormones, hooking up with remus lupin, your biggest academic rival- of course you were bound to mistake lust for life.

perhaps the heated kisses within the shadows of dark nights, the way his hands lingered upon your body, making you feel alive as he touched you down to your core, the heat crawling under your skin, dizzying your mind, the way he begged to touch you, to feel you meant more than just lust. perhaps it was closeted love. but it didn't mean good news. having a crush was fine, but falling for remus john lupin was bad news. it meant heartbreak, a new rumor for the nosy students of hogwarts.

so you did the best thing that came in your mind to maintain your feelings and keep your heart in control. it wouldn't be very effective, considering remus was your partner in potions for the year, but you'd try your best. no hooking up, just necessary conversations. all you had to do was ignore him. the less you saw him, the better.

remus looked up to your face, his sweaty strands of hair sticking onto his forehead. his calloused hands gripped your waist as he thrust his hips upwards. you bent down, brushing his lips against yours. you held down his hands, pinning them above his head. he tried to crane his neck to kiss your lips, but you didn't allow him holding his hands tighter.

slowly, torturously slow you started rotating your hips. he arched his back, moaning your name, his fingers trying to grasp the fabric of the head board.

'god, you feel so fucking good,' he moaned. you smirked, your tongue swiping over your teeth.

'i know,'

suddenly, his face started to distort, and he started laughing at you. weird, that is not how you remembered that night. he was jerking you, before everything went hazy and your vision started blackening and you saw a tunnel of light. you tried to grasp onto the light, escaping the booming sound of his laughter.

it was a fucking dream. you rubbed your eyes, pushing your face into the pillow, silencing your scream, so as to not wake up the others. you hated how pathetic it made you feel. how did it happen?

within the spills of ink on parchment paper and a constant comparison, how could have your feelings changed like this. perhaps you thought of him too much. you were supposed to ignore him. in the typical sense you were, but your mind or heart wasn't ready to go.

you were standing on the edge of a fucking knife, wondering if remus lupin even considered you to be a friend. you hated yourself for falling for him. it wasn't supposed to be more than sex, a quick relief from the constant shambles of your lives, yet here you were, in the middle of the night thinking of the one you were supposed to hate.

slipping your feet into the cozy bunny slippers, you grabbed your thickest jumper. you couldn't sleep, so you might as well take a walk. james and lily were on duty, but you were sure they weren't being as responsible as they were supposed to be.

it was cold. the snow that settled on the grounds was thick and milky white. the cold wind bit your skin, prickling it with goosebumps. you felt a lump in your throat thicken, and your eyes burn. you felt your heart drop. you blamed yourself for the situation you were in. it was your fault, utterly. you weren't supposed to fall for him.

even the stars couldn't calm you down with their serene rays. you dropped your head into your palms, letting the tears fall down your cheeks, sobbing silently.

'talking a walk alone at night now are we?' a voice quietly creeped up behind your back. you wiped your cheeks quickly, mentally preparing yourself to being caught by a prefect and getting your house points deducted. when you turned around, however, you were met with the amber eyes of the one you'd been thinking about. your tongue was tied in knots as you watched him drop james' invisibility cloak on the floor and walk towards you. you backed away, until your back hit the wall and there was nowhere to go.

'r-remus-' he raised an eyebrow, capturing you against the wall, his hand pressed against the wall. he leaned down, his finger crawling under your jaw and tilting your head to meet his burning amber like gaze.

'have you been crying?' he asked. you stared at him, tongue twisted in knots. but you knew it was no use lying to him. he could read you like a book.

'yes,' you nodded. he tilted an eyebrow.

'why?'

'why does it fucking matter remus? leave me alone- i'm not even your fucking friend.'

'then what are we? you've been ignoring me for the past few days, and now you're running away when i've finally got you alone.'

'nice try, lupin. you don't give a shit, so just let me go.'

'oh so you're going to decide whether i give a shit about you or not? what if i tell you i do?'

'you won't mean it.'

'i will. i've never lied to you,' he said. there was a bitter sadness in his eyes. you could see the darkness in his gaze, and even if he naturally had dead eyes, you could see a tiny ray of warmth in his gaze.

'please.' he said, letting you go. 'just tell me what's wrong. tell me what i've done. tell me how i can fix it. just...please don't ignore me.' he begged. slowly gulping, you pondered whether it was the correct moment to speak out your heart. perhaps it wasn't, but he could right through the lies. and while you had a lot of explanations hidden in your head, you could only whisper one line,

'i'm in love with you, remus,' he stared at you intently, letting your words hang before he could act upon them. you expected screaming, cussing...laughter. you didn't expect a soft gaze as he smiled at you. he slipped his finger under you jaw, tilting your head.

'i don't think you ignore the one's you're in love with,' you screwed your eyes shut, biting your lip. the blood warmly travelled to your cheeks,

'you don't feel the same, i was scared.'

'and how exactly do you know that?' you opened your eyes, to find him staring at you in utter glee.

'i've been yours before you touched me. all it took was spilled ink on my essay, sweetheart.'

********************************

taglist - @reggieisfit @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @jamespottergf @eternallybipanicking @fictional-magic @iamgayforyourmom1510

(if you want to be tagged please send a request through my inbox.)

#harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #marauders #the marauders #marauders era #remus lupin #remus lupin x you #remus lupin smut #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x reader #kinkotober #remus lupin fanart #wer'gewolf

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shimmeringembers · 8 months ago

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I want to make a big canvas full of slugcat OCs, please put your pictures of your sluggies (and one personality fact) in the notes :D

#lemme draw your sluggies please #rain world #rw slugcat #rw slugpup

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izels-writing · 1 year ago

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r. lupin — flirting

Pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader

Summary: in which y/n flirts every chance she gets and remus can’t help but secretly love it

Warnings: suggestive language (it’s a fluff fic tho!), pregnancy (?, just toward the end)

was y/n good at flirting? yes and no. she was horrible at flirting with other people, absolutely horrible. but there was one person that she were somehow amazing at flirting with.

remus lupin.

she wasn't sure why. she figured it was the shyness or the fact that he only really spoke to lily evans or his best friends james potter, sirius black, and peter pettigrew. other people he tended to cut conversations short or he pretended to have to go. he never seemed to fancy being around other people.

that's what made her so interested in him. how couldn't she be?

"come on, y/n! we'll be late!" y/f/n called out, pulling y/n out of the common room and rushing down the corridor. y/n huffed and followed quickly behind her rushed friend.

finally arriving in potions, y/f/n took their seat next to their boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, leaving her to wander over to your usual seat. one she had next to a certain nerdy, quiet yet witty boy. most of the time in potions, she could hear him mutter some smart comment under his breath, making her giggle and earn herself a detention. though he usually muttered a quiet apology and focused on the potion instead of trying to get her out of the detention, she never took offense and shrugged it off. always.

the bell rang, and like clockwork, four boys burst inside. one had black, unruly hair and rectangular glasses. another was handsome with black, long hair and stormy grey eyes. the shortest one was giggling, fixing his uniform on his stubby body. the last, y/n's personal favorite, was a tall and lanky boy who had more scars than bare skin and slightly toned arms.

there were many things no one noticed about remus, things that y/n did. he always wore baggy clothes, but when he brought his sleeves up he had toned and slight muscle to his arms, or how when he stretch his shirt would ride up just enough for her to see the muscle that had likely built up over the years.

"take a seat boys, class is just about the begin..." slughorn sighed, like he did almost every day.

"no problem sluggy." james potter, the quidditch jock of the group, grinned, making his way to sit next to lily evans, his (to her misfortune as she proclaimed falsely) potions partner.

"say, did you do something to your hair today?" sirius asked in fake curiosity, earning a stern nod over to his seat from slughorn. both he and peter walked over to their seats, along with remus, who quickly sat next to y/n.

"hey handsome." y/n winked, smiling teasingly at him. remus gave a small smile back, used to this kind of behavior from her.

"hi y/n." he replied quietly, getting out some of the essentials for today's lesson, which had been written by slughorn on the blackboard.

"today, my bright students, we'll be brewing the draught of peace. a potion you should all be familiar with. it'll take up most of the class time, and afterward, i want you to test them on each other. but only a small dosage, as too much and brewed wrongly can result in a very long and irreversible sleep. the recipe for this commonly used potion is on page 342 of your textbooks. you may begin."

y/n took quick notice to how slughorn sat down at his desk and lied his head down. while she wasn't always observant, it was a little clear that their professor was recovering from a strong hangover.

"don't you just love it when our teacher tasks us with O.W.L potions because he can't handle his liquor." y/n mumbled, turning your page to the one slughorn had mentioned.

"oh definitely...it's right next to when james and sirius drink on a school night." remus replied sarcastically.

she chuckled, "sounds fun."

"very. especially when i wake up to one of them vomiting in the bathroom." remus grinned, walking off to retrieve some ingredients.

y/n watched him grab the things, fighting the urge to think of any flirtatious comments. instead, she placed her cauldron on the table and started reading the instructions.

when he finally returned, they both started on the potion.

"okay, now add the powdered unicorn horn. the right amount, y/n, i would rather not be put in a irreversible sleep because of your antics." remus remarked, watching y/n carefully as she measured out the ingredient.

"gee, you sure have a way with words for such a big..." she glanced down flirtatiously, "mouth. don't worry remus, i can handle such a large task. though i'm sure that's not the only large thing i can handle-"

"y/n!" remus gasped quietly.

y/n acted nonchalant and added the horn, looking over for the next ingredient. stir until red.

"alright now stir." y/n said, nodding at the cauldron. remus nodded and started stiring, making her smirk and watch him. he fought his blush hard under her gaze, but he couldn't help it.

y/n felt giddy every time she could make him blush. it felt accomplishing for some reason.

"am i making you nervous, mr. prefect?" she asked, leaning against the desk with a smirk.

"no, just not used to being stared at creepily." remus retorted, stiring still.

"oh i highly doubt that, such a handsome face and an even better smile, i doubt you don't get stared at." y/n replied. remus rolled his eyes, making her frown momentarily, but nonetheless she regained her confidence as soon as his lip twitched upward.

—

after the two them finished their potion and tested it, and helped mediate a argument between lily and james, class quickly came to an end. the bell rang and slughorn shot up, bringing all of the attention to himself.

"good work today! for homework i want you all to write a small essay on the draught of peace potion and its history, which will be due on friday. have a wonderful night and i'll see you all tomorrow." slughorn said, walking out quickly.

y/n groaned and started shoving her things back into her bag. she wasn't very good at researching, mainly because she always seemed to get distracted on anything else. and there was also the fact that she hated essays in general.

remus looked over at the girl, wondering why exactly she had been groaning. under her breath, he could hear her mumbling about being rubbish at research and essays. he contemplated his next decision for a moment. should he ask her to study? though he didn't admit to it, he quite enjoyed the girls company at times. but did he really want to deal with your obvious flirting for minutes or maybe even hours?

his mind immediately answered yes, even if every time she flirted he struggled to refrain from kissing her right then and there to shut her up. lovingly of course.

"hey, do you want to study with me for this essay?" he asked, making y/n look up quickly. she smiled widely and nodded.

"of course, i'd love to." she replied.

"alright—um, just meet me in the library thursday at three?" he suggested awkwardly. y/n grinned.

"alright, i look forward to our date," she winked and walked off, swinging her bag over her shoulder. remus watched her as she did, smiling subtly at how she'd subconsciously fix her hair or how she'd laugh at whatever y/f/n had just said.

"did you, moonikens, just land yourself a date with someone who has so painfully obvious been into you for some time now?" a teasing voice behind him ask. remus rolled his eyes.

"it's not a date, pads, i'm just helping her study." remus replied, swinging his bag over his shoulder while the pair waited for james and peter.

"well, i can tell you that my study dates don't usually end in just studying," sirius said, nudging remus.

"he means they end in blowjobs." james said bluntly. remus scrunched up his nose, "well, i gathered that much."

"merlin, let's just please get to the kitchens..." peter mumbled.

——

the date had come faster than expected, much faster. so much so, that y/n almost forgot about it. she had so much piled onto herself, with homework assignments.

"y/n, don't you have that date or something?" y/f/n asked, shutting their book and looking up at their friend.

y/n nodded and looked at the clock.

2:55 p.m. it read.

she gasped and shot up, throwing her things inside her bag. bidding a quick goodbye, she ran out of her common room and started toward the stairs.

"watch it!"

"hey!"

"woah!"

y/n could care less how many people she bumped into, she didn't want to be late. lupin likely wouldn't wait for her if she was. once she reached the library, she stumbled through, ignoring madam pinces glare, and ran toward a dirty-blonde haired boy.

throwing herself in the seat in front of him, she took deep breaths, panting quietly.

his watch rang and remus smirked, turning his arm so that she could see it.

3:00 p.m.

"right on time, l/n," he grinned.

"aw, are we back to last name basis again?" y/n mumbled, pouting playfully.

remus rolled his eyes and took out his own materials for their potions essay, making her do the same.

"okay, we could start by using our text books to find the basic information. you don't seem to open yours much," remus said teasingly.

y/n grinned, "why would i, when i have someone so much better to look at in potions?" remus quickly caught on and flushed a light pink, rolling his eyes.

"anyway, we can finish this essay in about an hour and a half i say, sound good?" remus asked, looking up at y/n.

"sounds great, handsome," y/n replied nonchalantly. unbeknownst to her, remus felt a little jittery every time she called him that.

as the hour and a half passed, y/n was surprisingly the first to finish her essay. remus wrote his last sentence as y/n began to fidget in her seat and toss her muggle stress ball into the air and caught it.

"okay! i am done!" remus grinned, quietly shutting his text books and putting away his essay.

"cool, and it's only 4:30," you smirked.

remus leaned back in his chair. "y'know, you didn't have to wait up for me...you'd could've gone..."

y/n shrugged and grinned slyly, "i know, but i wanted to. besides, now that we're both done, we can hang out!"

"no, look," remus shook his head, "i'm a bore and you'd immediately want to leave,"

y/n raised her eyebrow. "sounds like a challenge, what do you got?"

remus chuckled and shrugged. "okay...want to go to the kitchens and make tea and then read?"

y/n thought for a moment. she wasn't one to stay still very well, that much was obviously since she was a young girl. however, doing this with remus didn't sound all too unappealing.

she leaned closer. "can you read to me?"

remus flushed as she grinned at her suggestion, and although it wasn't technically, it felt inherently intimate. she clearly didn't see it this way, so he couldn't either. he smiled warmly at her and nodded.

"yeah, i'll read to you." he smiled.

——

remus's voice was low and calming, and for some reason, felt like music in her ears. y/n laid her head on his lap, looking up at him as he read from the book. he had begun stroking her hair, making this situation even more relaxing.

she sat up for a moment, taking a sip of her tea, handing remus his cup as he asked for it. he paused his reading and smiled at her.

"you sure you're not bored yet?" he asked.

y/n shook her head. "of course not! i'm getting really into the story. mr. darcy is an ass, isn't he?" she took another sip of the tea.

remus nodded and chuckled. "he gets better, i promise."

"he better," y/n said, making a face, "elizabeth needs something better than that,"

"yes, she does," remus agreed. "if anything, you remind me of her,"

y/n grinned and raised an eyebrow teasingly. "do i? does that make you my mr. darcy?"

remus rolled his eyes playfully, pulling her to lay back down on his lap. "you wish...now, let me finish the chapter."

"as you wish, mr. lupin," y/n teased, remus' actions eliciting a laugh from her.

and for a moment as remus read and as y/n listened, y/n wasn't going out of her way to flirt obnoxiously with the boy and remus wasn't going out of his way to reject or wave off her attempts. instead, she listened to his silky voice and entered a relaxing mindset as she closed her eyes. meanwhile, remus glanced down at the girl every so often and couldn't help the ever growing smile on his face.

bonus:

remus lupin closed the book he held quietly, looking down at y/n who's eyes snapped open.

"was that really the end?" she frowned.

"well, there's a sequel, but i figured we should start it tomorrow," remus suggested. "we have that appointment early tomorrow,"

"but! but—it's not even that important? what're they gonna tell me? that the baby is growing hands? thanks, i would hope so!" y/n protested, sitting up with a struggle at the growing stomach she currently had. she wasn't too far along, but that didn't make it any easier to manage.

"these appointments are important, remember what lily told you?" remus lectured. "i promise we can start the sequel tomorrow..."

y/n frowned, pouting. "you're no fun."

remus placed a hand on her stomach, feeling a light kick, making y/n grin slightly. "one of us has to be the bad parent,"

"we both agreed it would be me," y/n reminded.

"we'll see when he's born, mrs. lupin," remus grinned.

y/n smiled warmly. "i suppose we will, mr. lupin."

#remus john lupin #remus lupin #remus x reader #remus x you #james potter #sirius black #peter pettigrew #the marauders #the marauders era

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sluggybunny · 11 months ago

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(just flavors in general, ig specifically for candy/sodas/etc)

#>sluggy personal #personally im a cherry freak #you make me a cherry limenade and i go crazy

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saederkrupps · 5 days ago

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I don’t have a name for this project, I am very bad at naming things. But the premise/setting is a grimdark fantasy esque world. And there’s this type of magic that is actually more like a parasitic disease.

I really love the idea of magic as something that represents mental illness. And writing surrealism, dreams, memory issues, etc is my fave.

Combining it with a dream I had a long time ago of a world where they used children in war, this type of magic can be learned by anyone but they have to “survive” the initial sickness. And children are more resilient to surviving.

Because magic becomes a useful commodity in society (military, industrial, labor) there is an incentive to have a lot of magic users. So you end up with a society exposing children to a dangerous, not well understood phenomenon in order to shape them into something useful. A lot of children die or suffer very severe side effects that permanently alter their mind or body

That’s the setting, though. The main plot is more concerned with other stuff.

I just like world building fantasy stuff.

I wrote two origins the player can pick but one is sort of shelved until I can figure out the family situation. That one is the noble background and has deeply fucked family dynamics (has anyone read my sweet Audrina? That but with more GOT shit) and I’m stuck on 1) did I make this too fucked up 2) I want to use character sprites because I’m an artist but if they’re related to the protag, how do I make it inclusive

The other one is you’re an orphan sent to a nice orphanage that’s really there to produce magic users. This one has the most content for now, since orphan means no family members I gotta worry about. further background customization would include having beef with the church, evil magic... stuff

Then there's the main story after all the origins (i want the origins to be kind of lengthy so they can deeply effect all the stuff on the main story) and I started writing it in a sort of episodic way or "arcs". The first arc is in the mountains with a necromancer.

I'm trying VERY HARD to not include complicated mechanics, I just looove coding so much. But I did include some exploring and stats/skills that are chosen in the beginning and can later be influenced... can't help it!

#>sluggy personal #I get really chatty on ambien and then I forget I said anything when I wake up

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barrenclan · 9 months ago

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I LITERALLY JUST GOT MY LUNCH??? OK LET’S GO

ughhh the cover for this one.. rain looking so comfortable.. i’m so normal

U CAN’T START THE ISSUE WITH A FLASHBACK LIKE RHIS AAAAA

WDYM??? I THLUGJT THEY WERE GRIENDS???? OH WAIT DOES JE WANT SLUG TO DEFIANCE. OH FUCK OH NO THE SAD

RANGER FUCK OFF

omg… omg.. the realization

FUCK OMG SLUGGY

REDPELT GET HIM!!!

RANGER GO AWAY

MININONO NOT DAFFY NO

GET HIM SLUGPELT!!

“you can love someone and still hate them. you can love someone and still hurt them” hits so fucking hard for me. maybe now i’m projecting and reading into things alot because i’ve always projected/felt personal about daffodil and then always seen a bit of my own mother in slugpelt… but fuck. fuck fuck fuck. this hits good, raz, ur doing good. hopefully i’m not going off break in tears lmao

GET HIMMMMM!!!! god i’ve. dealt with people like rainhaze. also victims and deserve sympathy, but still repeat the cycle, ignore the hurt, claim people just not understanding- god. god fuck. issue good

did slugpelt top surgery rainhaze

OH GOD!!!!!! YEAH OH MY GOD. i love how finally the own ideology that he basically invented fell through. he could stare at other people dying, and just say they’re sleeping. you can hurt other people, and say it’s not your fault. but when it all comes crashing down…. that’s the good shit

i’m so… yeah. i’ve already spoke a little on it but this issue will probably go down as the most haunting issue to me. not because i’m sad that rainhaze died, i think it’s deserved and it played out so cool, but god.. just how much of my own situations i can see in it. obviously not to the T, but.. god. i love you slugpelt. never let anyone lay a hand on your children, girl. protect them and they’ll love you for life.

i’m talking as if slugpelt is real this is how u know i’m getting goofy. goodbye now

I'm still so happy with the reception Issue 37 got, I was a little worried about what people would think about the ending of such a popular character. I'm glad it could touch you and others so deeply! :] It means a lot to me.

#ask #slugpelt #rainhaze #issue 37

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scarredlove · 1 year ago

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Oh my- Well. Seems my rizzy sluggy sons won...

I offer this as my... potential AU beginner~

I wanna personally thank @pillowspace for being the original inspiration for the sluggy AU!!

As well as @justfangirlstuffs and @crazedauthor for letting me ramble their ears off as I build up both of my AUs ♡

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yallthemwitches · 4 months ago

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Catch the Wind Chapter 17: Threefold Law

A flicker of pain flashed past Snape’s eyes, mouth twisting into a grimace. “Look what he’s done to you—how could you let him—” “Would you even believe that I asked him to? Or are you too pathetic and in denial to see that maybe, just maybe, I could want something that doesn’t revolve around you.” She watched as his expression went from triumph, to anger, to complete hollow sadness. There was no going back now—if he wanted to hear the worst of his fears, she was willing to give it. “I love him ,” she choked out. “I love him with a kind of love you will never get—not from me. You forfeited that chance the day you chose dark magic.”

Smut, fluff, angst, plot...the gang's all here!

Thank you everyone who has asked for an update or has kept supporting me and this work. This fic is especially a labor of love and it makes me happy that people look forward to it!

AO3 Link Here

It’s hard to ignore whispers when they are about you.

“Alright—explain.”

Lily kept her eyes on her toast, too tired and sore to put any energy into Marlene’s interrogation.

“What, we’re just going to ignore that the whole bloody school is talking about how your precious boyfriend went absolutely nutter at Sluggy’s last night?”

Of course the news would get out. Anyone who had half a brain would have jumped at the chance to talk about it. What was more juicy than the head students deciding to have a raging meltdown at a professor.

“He was angry, there’s not much to say.” She murmured, head still bowed. A dull ache reverberated from between her legs, reminding her of the only part of last night she wished to remember.

“Not much to say? Babe, I heard you two stormed out of there–heard you were right pissed too.”

Was she? At this point she hardly even knew. She didn’t like that James had the tendency to be impulsive, and in hindsight she should have shown a bit more tact when trying to remove them from the party— but hadn’t he been right? She placed her mind’s eye back in the room, picturing the faces of Regulus and Avery, coming up short once she tried to recall how James looked when staring down at a very frazzled Slughorn.

“I’m not saying Slughorn deserved it, but James did have a point. What they wrote about us was awful and they shouldn’t have gotten away with it.” She took a large bite of her toast, punctuating her statement.

“And it doesn’t occur to you that now you will be even more of a target? Think about it Lils, you poked a sleeping dragon with this move. Maybe James was trying to be Mr. protective but–”

A surge of anger bubbled up. The only explanation was that it had been trapped inside her all evening, repurposed at the time in the form of lust, but now spilling forth unfiltered.

“But what, Marlene? They are going to attack me whether someone says something or not. At least I have one person who isn’t willing to pretend like it isn’t bloody happening.”

Marlene shrunk back, eyes darting wildly over her friend's face.

“Christ Lily, I didn’t mean it like that,” Marlene whispered, sounding smaller than she had ever heard, “You know that I want the best for you. I’m just worried is all—those blokes who hang around Slytherin are evil—even Snape.”

“Trust me, I know that.”

Lily stood up, feeling less hungry than when she came down. She was aware that the anger was irrational, but it coursed through her nonetheless. She wished she had never left James’ arms that morning, wished they could be in that limitless space where all that existed was their bodies intertwined and the heavy scent of sex. At least there the anger was transformed into something more self-serving.

As she retreated from the hall with Marlene’s stare boring into her back, she promised herself she would apologize later for her overreaction, not having the energy in her now to repair things. She headed for the stairs, hoping to find a solitary place where she could calm herself down and hide from the whispers that continued to plague her since she stepped out of bed.

As she turned the corner, James came bounding down the steps. He hadn’t even bothered to comb his hair and the strands still had memories of her fingers sliding through them. She rushed towards him, reaching up to throw her arms around his neck.

“I was a fool this morning to get out of bed—let's skip potions.” James froze as her lips skimmed against his pulse point, her tongue flicking out for good measure.

“I just want you again– please.”

She moved her hand to pull at his belt, but a calloused one wrapped around her fingers, stilling her urgency.

“Lily–-wait. We need to talk.”

Eyes flashing up to meet his, she could see something harboring in his usual cool gaze.

“What. What happened?”

“Let's just—yeah, let's skip potions and we can go to the office.”

He took her hand in his, pulling her back up the steps. He didn’t look back at her, shoulders set as though heavy boulders were pressing them into a straight line. When they reached the office, James motioned for her to sit and she obliged, watching him pace back and forth in front of her, face twisted up in pain.

“James, if this is about me being upset about what you said to Slughorn last night, I’m not —-”

“Snape saw us.” His voice cut through hers, clear and simple. “He saw us in the corridor—and I let him. Merlin Lily, I’m such a bloody fucking piece of shit.”

“What?” She stood up, fingers grabbing at the sides of her skirt for something to stave off the growing anxiety.

“When we were shagging. He just appeared…and I didn’t stop it—he couldn’t have been there more than a few seconds but—”

She took another cautious step forward, eyes unfocused, trying to track his erratic movements. She opened her mouth to speak but he lifted a hand for silence, misery pouring out of his mouth.

“Godric, I’m just as bad as him. Even Sirius practically agrees and you know you’ve fucked up when Sirius chastises you.” His reserve was crumbling, completely unraveling right in front of her like a loose spool.

“You deserve better. I should have stopped, should have stopped him, should have told you when it was all happening— ah Lily. ”

He was barely keeping it together, cracking under the weight of his own remorse. Tears were springing up into his eyes and he knocked his glasses askew trying to wipe them away.

“I’m shit—I haven’t changed at all. I’m still that arrogant, ego driven ass from fifth year who just wants everyone to see that I am better than them—that I have you.”

She was close enough to touch him now. He kept turning his head, trying to simultaneously wipe away tears while averting her gaze.

“James—” She reached a hand out for his chest, but he recoiled from it.

“No, I don’t deserve it, Lily. Do you understand? I broke your trust. I broke it.”

“James.” She tried again, her voice now strong and demanding. “No you didn’t—I don’t care.”

He stalled, tears still gathering under the rim of his glasses. A small part of her wished she could take a photo to remember his vulnerability forever.

“Did you hear me? I don’t care.” She repeated, her voice stern. “Fuck Snape, and fuck all those people at the party while we are at it.”

“But Lily, he saw us,” he said, voice pained.

“Good–maybe now he will leave me the fuck alone.”

They stared at each other for a while, sizing each other up. It felt like a strange impasse of emotion, one wanting to repent and the other not willing to accept it, somehow seeing no fault in the misdeeds.

“You’re being serious?”

Lily reached out a hand, wiping the salt streaks that marked their way down his cheeks.

“James—no one has stood up for me like you did that night. No one—and especially not Snape,” she let her hand trace its way down to his chest, toying with the buttons of his collar.

“I know I’m mental, but it actually meant a lot to me what you said to Slughorn. I’ve always been too afraid to tell him off for his house and you did that for me.”

She reached a hand to cup the back of his neck, twisting the strands of his hair lightly with her fingers.

“Also—technically I did invite anyone to walk up on us—sort of shit karma that it was Snape but what are you going to—”

“I really love you, you know.” He cut her off again, but this time it was heavy and pure.

“I mean it. This isn’t just some teenage fancy that I’ll shrug off after school. I love you and if I ever lose you because I did something stupid, I’d never forgive myself.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, his breath hot and sweetly familiar on her face.

“You aren’t losing me—especially because of Snape. I love you too.”

They stood like that for a while, arms around each other with their faces pressed together. After months of clawing for carnal physical touch, the quiet swaying together felt right, a reminder that love could take many different forms, each just as powerful as the next.

After a while they curled up on the couch, James placing her on his lap so she could lean her head against his chest, combing his hand through her hair. Lily tilted her head upwards, humming at the sensation of his fingers on her scalp.

“I can’t believe you told Sirius,” she murmured, still leaning in to let his fingers reach around and tangle through the other side of her hair.

“You can’t? I tell that bloke everything—well almost everything.”

She snorted. “Yeah, apparently even the naughty details of our sex life.”

“Hey! I was in crisis mode! What was I supposed to do?” James whined, giving a strand of hair a little tug.

“Whatever Potter, but if he starts making sly remarks, I will actually be angry.”

James leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her nose, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Well, good for me you're very sexy when you are mad.”

********

She knew she didn’t have much time before one of the boys would catch on. She ran down the dark corridors of the dungeons, wand raised in case someone lurked in the shadows, waiting for exactly someone like her to be found alone and unguarded.

She couldn’t pinpoint how she knew he’d be there, but she was right: Snape stood behind the empty teacher’s desk they had always used together, looking down at a closed potions kit that he clearly had no intention of opening. Her divination had always been terrible, but when it came to him, she was a prophet. He was easier to read than tea leaves.

At her entrance, he looked up, eyes expanding before lowering into slits, a twisted scowl forming on his lips. It hit her suddenly that he was probably replaying whatever he saw that night—no doubt some moment of carnal lust that was never meant for him. She didn’t want to linger on the thought of what state she was in when he last looked at her.

“We need to talk.”

His mouth pulled into something of a smile, more sinister than she was used to seeing directed at her.

“Was it you?” Her voice bounced off the thick stone, making it seem booming in comparison to how she felt. “Was it you who wrote those things on the pitch?”

He kept his mouth tight, lips nothing but a straight thin line.

“If it wasn’t you then it was one of your mates—don’t deny it.”

He picked up the knife that was laying on the table and turned it gently in his hand, eyes fixated on the gleaming silver. He spoke slow, seething.

“I didn’t want to believe it—but what they say in my house is true. You let him fuck you like some kind of animal–.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lily cut in, her face twisted with anger. She knew he was saying it to deflect, to get some upperhand from his witness.

“He let me watch it, Lily.” The knife clattered back on the table and he looked up at her. His voice was edging on hysterics.

“He wanted me to see you begging for him because as much as you lie to yourself, he treats you no better than any of the Slytherins do.”

Lily took quick strides forward, eyes blazing into his. “And what if I wanted it, hm? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I want him to fuck me like that? Because I trust him enough not to think like you. ”

Snape looked like he had been slapped, face cocked to the side.

“James told me you saw. So quit acting like you have some high ground.”

A flicker of pain flashed past Snape’s eyes, mouth twisting into a grimace. “Look what he’s done to you—how could you let him—”

“Would you even believe that I asked him to? Or are you too pathetic and in denial to see that maybe, just maybe, I could want something that doesn’t revolve around you.”

She watched as his expression went from triumph, to anger, to complete hollow sadness. There was no going back now—if he wanted to hear the worst of his fears, she was willing to give them.

“I love him ,” she choked out. “I love him with a kind of love you will never get—not from me. You forfeited that chance the day you chose dark magic.”

Severus’ jaw clenched, eyes now glassy. He stepped away from the desk, rounding so he could get closer. She took a step back, realizing her wand was still tight in her hand.

“They are planning to eradicate all muggleborns from the wizarding world.” His voice was low and cold, coming down like a hammer. “Voldemort is gaining footing in the Ministry–it won’t happen fast but it’s what they are working towards, and when they do all opposing parties will be exterminated.”

Lily could feel the blood in her veins congeal, the room getting fuzzy at the edges.

“Do you think Potter is going to lay down his family’s life and power because he wants to fuck some muggleborn in the corridor?”

“Stop it.” She took out her wand and pointed it at him but he didn’t flinch, staring down at it like she was brandishing a tree branch like they did as children.

“Potter’s family has already chosen their side and they will lose. I’ve spoken to the proper channels—told them how brilliant you are. He’s said he’d be interested—”

“He who? He as in Voldemort?”

Severus shifted a little, shoulders squaring backwards. “Yes.”

Lily’s hand shook, her wand still pointed at his face.

“He’s willing to meet with you if you accept. He will protect you, Lily. We can be together— safe. We can—”

The room was no longer fuzzy, it was over-saturated, a brilliant blinding sharpness of color.

Stupefy

She saw Severus’ eyes grow wide as the spell hit him square in the chest. He lay motionless on the ground, gazing at a fixed point upwards. She let out a scream and it echoed through the corridor, sounding like thunder the farther it traveled.

“You disgust me.”

She turned around without giving him a second glance. She didn’t know where to go but she needed to leave, making it only around the corner before shrinking onto the ground, the world going dim and claustrophobic.

It felt like she was watching herself hyperventilate in real time, sucking in air rapidly and then forgetting how to expel it. Her fingers clawed at her knees, trying to gain purchase on anything to ground her.

Lily—

He was there, miraculously, like a spectral vision. His head appeared first before his whole body flashed into the foreground. Throwing off his invisibility cloak to dive towards her, she made a whimpering sound as he wedged both forearms under her backside, lifting her up against his body like one would a wounded animal.

“Lily–Lily. What happened? Breath, baby. You aren’t breathing.”

The distance of his voice didn’t match the feel of his body. She tried sucking in another breath, then another, realizing that the choking sounds were coming from her.

James placed her back down against the wall in a seated position. Her hands sandwiched between his, he hooked his thumbs around so he could guide her palms together, then slowly drift them apart while counting slowly: one, “two, three, four…. . “ He repeated, opening and shutting their hands together until she no longer heard the horrible choking sound and her lungs were able to fill with air.

“He’s already one of them...” She murmured out, dropping their hands and lunging forward against his chest. Usually the smell of him against her made the rest of the world disappear, but the floor was still cold beneath and the smell of molded stone warped her scent.

“Already what? Who is?” James spoke slowly, cradling her head against his heart and caressing her back.

“Sev—Snape. He told me—He’s met Voldemort.”

James' body stiffened under her, fingers clenching to the point of causing pain.

“Where is he—Lily did he touch you?”

He was pulling out his wand, looking down the corridor to see if any movement would appear out of the shadows.

“No—but he said—he spoke to Voldemort, about me…about sparing me if I—if I .”

James reared back. She could see the fire in his eyes, a murderous gaze.

“Where is he, Lily. I need you to tell me.”

“No, There’s no use doing anything.”

James let out a cathartic cry, swishing a hand through the air.

“Fuck off with that Lily—stop protecting him. I’m going to kill him–really kill him.”

He was getting to his feet, wand still in hand. She had never seen him like this, not even when he would get in stupid duels with Slytherins. It was an anger that well surpassed what he had shown at Slughorn’s party. It was palpable and deadly.

“I need you with me James. Please don’t leave me here.” She knew it was the only way to get him to listen. Any other reason and he would have stalked off, gone to get his map and hunted down Severus like a pig for slaughter. But she wasn’t lying either, she did need him. He was the only thing grounding her away from the complete void.

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a strangled cry, turning to crouch back to her. It was the second time she had ever seen tears in his eyes. This time he let them run freely.

“Voldemort—-Snape, fuck he’s an idiot…” James fell into a series of babbles, trying to string together a cohesive thought but was coming up short. It was Lily’s turn to console, lurching toward him and grabbing his face to wipe away the tears with her thumbs.

“Shh--I’m right here with you. Look at me.”

James placed his hands on top of hers, pressing her hands against his cheeks.

“Nothing is going to happen to you, Lily. I will not let anything happen.”

“I know.”

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but by the time they picked themselves up and walked back to the Gryffindor tower, the sun was peeking out from the mountains. They slipped into the boys dorms then behind the safety of his bed curtains, shucking off their clothes so they could tangle as close as possible. A fleeting sense of safety.

******

Lily didn’t know what time it was when she woke but she could sense that all of the other boys had left for their classes. Her face pressed into James’ bare chest, warm and reassuring breaths rose steady like a wave against her. She could tell he was asleep by the way he hummed softly, sounds stolen from a place far within his mind.

Their legs tangled together out of familiarity. One of her thighs was hitched up against his hip and she could feel a heavy arm wrapped around her in a protective hold. Against her pelvic bone, a hardness pressed against her, causing something in her body to stir. She instinctively wiggled against it, and he gave a soft moan, before drifting back off.

It felt good to be held like this, to be wanted by him even in the deep recesses of his sleep. As she continued to rouse from her haze, she realized that it was something she wanted more now than ever: to be as close to him as possible. War was no longer coming, it was there–and they were about to lose precious time where they could be wrapped together like this so often.

She waved her hips in a circular motion, brushing her pelvis back up against him. He responded again, this time with a hand reaching down to her bum, giving it a soft squeeze. His eyes were still closed but his body worked on muscle memory.

Uncurling a hand from against his chest, she started to make the passage down, her fingertips skimming over his taut chest muscles until it found the small path of hair that led down to his groin. Passing through the black curls, she reached her objective, palming his erection with a warm, lulling hand.

“ Lily.” His eyes blinked open, still blurred from dreams.

“Ah, sorry—” He was still too delirious to realize that his cock was pressing into her willing hand and he tried to shuffle back. In response, she curled her fingers around him, watching as the realization flooded his face.

“Lily—ah Merlin .” That woke him– the feel of her fingers yanking him completely out of any subconscious still lingering. The hand that had grabbed her arse now contracted against her, fingers pressing deeper, roaming around to kneed at soft skin.

“I want to feel you baby,” She murmured and he responded with a noise that blended between a squeak and a growl.

“Lily–you’re so lovely. How do I deserve to wake up like this…. Shit.” He reached his other hand around to cup one of her breasts and her tit hardened under his touch, yearning for him to keep swiping a thumb over its flat center.

Lily moaned into his chest, arching her back to press her breast farther into him. The hand around his cock started to slowly tug from the base up, reaching his tip and finding that some of his come was already dripping. She smeared her thumb through the liquid, using it as lubricant to slide her hand back down. A rumbling groan quivered their connected bodies.

“ Ah Merlin–oh shit—”

She hitched her leg up higher onto his thigh, pressing her body forward so her center leaned against where her hand worked him. His tongue moved erratically, switching to her other tit and swirling into his open mouth. With every stroke of her hand his eyes fluttered, fighting to stay open.

“Lily, my darling, my life, my love—oh fuck Lils.”

She gripped him again at the base and guided his tip to the top of her clit, massaging his cock against her for stimulation. Her head tilted back with a guttural moan and he released her tit to catch it, his tongue slow and soft as it started to tangle around hers.

“I want you inside me. I want to feel you deep. I need you every moment I possibly can.”

He panted out a noise against her lips and she lapped it up with her tongue, skimming it across his lower lip until his mouth welcomed her in again. Tilting her hips forward, she rubbed his cock through her arousal until she reached her opening, letting his tip slide in just enough to feel the tug of her muscles expanding to accommodate him.

“Lily baby, I won’t last long. You are so tight–so beautiful, you have no idea how good you feel—.”

She pushed him in a bit farther and the words cut in his throat. Pulling her leg to hook against his waist, he rutted his hips forward until their hip bones met and he filled her completely.

They rocked like that for a while, him helping her body move back and forth on him by pushing and pulling on her ass. She threaded her fingers through his hair and panted on his neck, stopping only to give small nips and licks to his pulse point.

Unlike the last time where their lust was rabid and frantic, they meld together in a calm serenity. She could feel every rotation of his hips as he pushed himself farther inside, letting every delicious moment of friction be savored. His voice was a whispered mantra, her name falling out of his mouth like whips of smoke that wafted away as soon as they left him.

“Baby, I’m going to come–” he breathed. She could already feel him shaking under her, his body preparing for climax.

Grabbing his face with her hands, she forced him to look at her, his eyes round and clear without the hindrance of his glasses.

“Come for me baby. I love you, I want you always. Always.”

She watched as his eyes dilated in release, mouth falling open like holding a long rapturous note. She caught it in her own, letting him sing it into her throat. She wanted to drink up every moment of his pleasure and feel it coarse through her.

Coming down, he rolled to the side, falling onto his back as though his soul was now depleted. Eyes closed, a shadow of a smile pulled at his lips. He reached over and pinched at her hip, beckoning her to be close again.

“C’mere.”

She could feel the sticky evidence of his climax between her legs as she complied, curling into the crook of his shoulder. He grumbled, dissatisfied, and reached to pinch her hip again.

“No, on top of me.”

His eyes were now open, flooding again with the desire that had pushed him into a blinding ecstasy moments before. She swung a leg over his waist and hoisted herself atop him, her moist thighs pressing against his already re-hardening erection.

“Higher.”

She arched an eyebrow, but he didn't give an explanation. Grabbing onto her thighs he slid himself downward until she could feel his breath drifting into her center, mixing with both of their slick arousal.

“ Oh gods– oh fuck James–” Her mind caught up slower than the pleasure his tongue made as it darted up into her, causing all vision to go white. She could feel her hands digging into his hair, tilting his head as she mewled for more.

“Let me take care of you.”

His mouth closed in again, and with every kitten lick a new universe was born. The world fell away, hot and spiraling through a dimension she didn’t care to know and hoped to never come back from.

******

In the laws of muggle created magic, there is the fundamental belief that any energy you put out will return to you threefold. Of course, Lily didn’t believe in false magic systems, but she was starting to feel like maybe they were onto something.

She wasn’t sure what kind of karmic energy she had sent into the world to cause such a visceral reaction, but the effects were certainly coming back to her. Looking down at the note in her lap, she hoped this was the final blow.

Lily,

Vernon wants to propose to me but his family has requested that they meet ours before we become officially engaged. I expect you to attend.

It will be a dinner at Vernon’s sisters (address below) on November 4th, 19:00

Petunia

She sat on the top of the astronomy tower and reread it multiple times, memorizing each curve of her sister’s handwriting. It looked messy to her and she wondered if she had been physically pained to write it. Something told her she wasn’t too far off.

She fished into her bag, found an old cigarette that Remus had offered her one drunken evening and used her wand to light it. To watch the smoke waft towards the Scottish mountainside felt as close to serenity as she was going to achieve.

If dealing with the fallout with Snape wasn’t enough, she hadn’t had the heart to go back to potions since the party, presumably failing the one thing she had a shot of doing occupationally when she got out of school. As much as it haunted her, she couldn’t let her mind linger on what Snape had said—that somewhere out beyond those mountains the most powerful wizard in the world knew her name and was interested .

“Oh no! Our valiant Head Girl! Fallen from grace!” Sirius loped into view, followed by Remus who squinted at his mate before offering her a soft smile.

“Bad day, huh.” Remus and Sirius flanked her, the former doling both of them smokes from his trouser pocket.

“What gave it away?”

“You don’t smoke unless you're drunk or stressed—it’s kind of your tell.”

Of course Remus picked up a pattern she hadn’t even realized herself and of course he was right.

“Care to elaborate on your woes.”

Lily held the note straight out in front of her so both boys could lean in to read. In such close proximity, she could tell that Sirius and James used the same shampoo.

After a few moments of quiet reading, Sirius’ face scrunched up into a scowl. “What? Is his family sizing up yours like some sort of dog breeding set-up.”

“I mean his sister is a dog breeder so—that’s not too far off base actually.”

“Fuckin’ hell—these muggles man.”

Remus took a drag of his cigarette and reread the letter. “Alright, so don’t go. Simple as that.”

“But she expects me to.”

“Yeah and my parents expected me to be a Slytherin prick who wanks blood purity, but we can’t always get what we want.” Sirius retorted, forming his mouth into an o to blow out an impressive smoke circle.

Lily looked at the letter again. Something tugged at the deep part of her subconscious, something that related to Snape and what he had said about the potential future if Voldemort rose further up the ranks. If wizard families were going to be exterminated, what did that mean for muggles?

“Ask James to go—-Merlin knows his sappy arse will sit straight in the line of fire if that means making you happy.”

She struggled to picture it, James at a table with the Dursleys while her sister loomed over them all like some vulture waiting for the kill. To the boys’ point, even the James in her imaginary scenario looked happier just to be beside her.

“I dunno—I’d need to ask permission to leave grounds for it and having both Heads out of school would be a bit much.”

“Bollocks—Remus here can keep the school afloat while you're gone!” Sirius gave Remus a hearty smack on the back and he retaliated by shoving him until he tumbled over.

“Fine fine. I’ll ask for myself but I’m not going to make any waves getting James to come too. We are already in hot water as it is after Slughorn's party—we can’t be the first Head Students in history to lose complete credibility.”

She said her goodbyes to the boys and slumped her way towards the clock tower on the south side of the castle. The note firmly clenched in her palm, she found the owl scepter and whispered Gum Drops into its ear, making it screech to life.

She watched as the owl unfurled its wings and rose into the air, bringing her with it. A hollow feeling thumped into her chest, not because of her stupid sister but because being in this close proximity to Dumbledore meant there was a good chance she wouldn’t be able to control her fear anymore.

Since the morning, she had mostly been able to pretend like it had been a nightmare: just a delirious dream that could easily be waved away by the streaking sunlight of morning and the feel of James’ pulse against hers. She wasn’t ready to reckon with it, the idea that the boy who she had once laughed and played with was now close enough to someone so despicable ...and had put her name into his mind.

She didn’t want to fathom what Voldemort found interesting in her. She was a mudblood, worse than dirt in his eyes, a pawn at most. James had been right: Snape was a fool to believe that he would want anything to do with her besides to see her dead.

The owl halted in front of a brightly lit archway that led into a study. A phoenix slept on its pedestal while Dumbledore sat looking over some parchment while a quill scribbled on a journal next to him.

“Miss Evans, was I expecting you today? Surely if I was I would have put a kettle on–”

He stood up with a smile, opening his arms as a gesture of welcome before nodding towards the ornate wooden chair across from the desk. As she sat, a bowl of gum drops floated in her direction and she nudged it a way with a quiet no thanks.

“Is this about what happened at Professor Slughorn’s party? Because I would just like to assure you that Horace is not upset, though perhaps a little startled—he says he really misses you in class, do return to it. He won’t bite.”

Lily’s cheeks bloomed red. It hadn’t occurred to her that their stunt at the party would make it all the way to Dumbledore’s ears.

“No actually—though I am sorry about that—I’m afraid it’s quite silly actually but—”

All of the sudden, she felt like she was back in first year, being spoon fed even the most basic understanding of magic. She took the note and reached it over the table, letting Dumbledore take it to skim himself, his mouth moving silently as he read the words.

“It’s my sister—she’s getting engaged and uhm–”

“Congratulations to your sister!” Dumbledore clips in, giving her an approving nod.

“Er, thanks. Well, as you read, she expects me to be there and I feel a sense of obligation–”

“Miss Evans, you know full well that I always put family before anything else. I’ll give you permission to leave the grounds as long as you return within the same day. I’ll alert Hagrid of your departure so he can unlock the gate for you.”

She didn’t know whether she should feel relief or dread. No matter what, there was no going back now.

Dumbledore turned to look out the window, arms folded behind his back. A silence descended on the space and Lily felt the distinct feeling of energies shifting.

“Wonderful season, Autumn. It is the most beautiful part of the year, yet it is the closest nature is to dying.” He didn’t turn around, standing as though turned to stone.

“We live our lives so terrified of death that we sometimes forget the beauty in the process of living.”

She didn’t respond, unclear if he was inviting a conversation or just ruminating.

“I hope you know you can share anything with me, Miss Evans.”

He didn’t turn back to her but she could feel it, feel that he had already looked deep inside her and sensed her fear. Perhaps he already knew, heard it from a secret source well beyond the confines of the castle. There was no possible way he wasn’t aware of the tensions building within his own student body and suddenly it felt awfully ignorant of him to have done nothing all this time.

Still, if anyone could do something, it was him. She could rat Severus out, tell him about the plan with the ministry—everything. It was vital information for a man with the power to wield it, yet there he still stood, watching the leaves fall to the deaths at the window.

Her response sounded far away from her. “Yes, I know, thank you Professor.”

He turned back to her, a curious glint in his eye. “Very well—you enjoy yourself and give your sister my congratulations—but when you come back, could you come visit me again? I have a particular proposition I would like to share with you.”

The hairs on her arms bristled, but she didn’t respond. Rising to leave, the weight of what had been left unsaid globbed like tar in her chest.

“Oh and Miss Evans?” Dumbledore sat back in his chair and leaned with his elbows on the tabletop.

“Bring Mr. Potter on both occasions–the dinner and the next time you visit—something tells me he will find a way to include himself anyhow. Better we save him the trouble.”

#catch the wind #jily #james potter #lily evans #yallthemwitches #marauders era #jily fanfiction #hp marauders #james x lily #hp #jple

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