#<-yes I’m aware that’s not how dnd works let me have this

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Fabian trauma analyzation

I feel like a major part of why Fabian’s stuff gets so overlooked by the other characters is because the other characters always have so much going on so loudly that Fabian’s quiet issues don’t get looked at as much

Like Kristen’s got her whole religious trauma she’s working through, Adaine’s whole deal with her anxiety and her parents is a lot, Riz is worried about college and is working himself to death for the sake of everyone else, Gorgug is struggling to even be who he wants to be and is constantly clashing with those around him trying to make his space, Fig’s got her whole thing with her self esteem issues and her daddy issues (times three!), and all the other characters tend to spend so much time focusing on everyone else’s issues

That’s why I think having a character like Mazey are so important, because you finally get someone outside of his party who is solely focused on him and she sees that something’s not right but he’s so wrapped up in everything happening all the time that he can’t or won’t listen to her when she tries to talk to him about it

And I do think it comes from a place of deep childhood hurt from his parents behaviors, when your dad is busy running an entire ship and your mom is just trying to rest all the time you kinda learn that you have to take care of yourself, except no one ever taught him how to do that so he ended up just shoving it all down

There’s also the fact that his dad was very insistent on being strong and getting glory and obviously trauma probably didn’t feel very glorious (like in freshman year when he comes off of seeing 3 people straight up die and almost dying himself and his dads response is to crack jokes and take him out to celebrate despite him being very clearly fucked up)

I think that one place you can really see the whole deflecting thing is in sophomore year after the breakdown when Tracker suggests (although not in the best wording) that Fabian is going through a depressive episode and the party’s response is to say that no, he’s just having a hard time, he can get over this, and then he dropped his whole fucking subclass but they didn’t have time to focus on that when Adaine gets fucking kidnapped and then by the time they have some time to chill and talk he’s already “better” with a multiclass to show for it and nobody talks about it after that because the problem seemed to be solved

In conclusion Fabian Aramais Seacaster

[this-thing-saved-me]

This Show Saved Me - BTVS 7x22

7x22 Chosen

I will never not find it funny that to stream Buffy I have to go to Disney+. Or the fact that the most recent episode I’d watched (whenever that was) was this one. Since I’m pretty sure I left my rewatch mid-season 3.

But that’s the thing about this particular episode. It’s practically a perfect finale. And felt like the right place to start, because who says everything should happen in order. That’s not always how life works. 

THERE WILL LIKELY BE ABUNDANT SPOILERS FOR A FINALE THAT AIRED OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO. There, that was your warning. And now for some Cole's notes “Story so far.”

Okay, so Buffy’s been through it by this point. The First has annihilated her self-confidence and Caleb has been on the warpath. Spike has told her she’s the one (!!!), whether she fully believes in herself yet or not. (SIDENOTE: yes, I ship Spuffy. Yes, there are very, very valid reasons not to. However I am a big fan of redemption arcs and where they land by the end of the comics feels like as healthy a place as possible with a very real love.)

And Angel shows up trying to be all tall-dark and forehead. Which I get, he’s Angel, he needs to be in the finale. But ultimately he's a delivery boy and he didn’t need to do it in person other than to prompt the first on my list of loves for this episode. 

Which is what I lovingly refer to as the "Cookie Speech." Buffy knows she has more growing to do and she’s self-aware enough to share that with the first love of her life. She’s come a long way from the season of post-resurrection depression, but she’s still not quite ready for what Angel might like her to be (granted he’s JUST lost Cordelia so the fact that he is back at Buffy’s door is a rant for another post.) The idea that things aren’t working for her romantically because she’s not done baking. She hasn’t figured out all that she wants to be. While I love love LOVE this analogy, I wonder if there’s ever really a time in our lives where we are done baking? Besides the end of course. We’re supposed to evolve. We’re supposed to grow.

Spike is her Champion, not Angel. They’ve seen the best and the worst of each other, remember? He knows she needs someone strong, someone with a soul, and despite the bad, she knows he’s earned the right to the title through growing and atoning. Motivated people can change, and that’s something I believe that Spike has shown.

“He had to split” - the joke is LHF and I love it. Does its utterance deserve a place on this list? Yes. Because it's very me-coded. I’d have a very hard time not making the same joke if I had just rendered a man from stem to stern. But I digress. This episode is serious and still silly. It’s the epitome of BTVS episodes. I mean Spike waking from a dream yelling “I’m drowning in Cool Whip,” come on. It’s akin to “the cheese wears me” in off kilter nonsense. Plus Anya later finding her strength in her hatred for "floppy, hoppy bunnies" will never not kill me. (Or her, again spoiler.) I adore Emma Caufield.

Willow is afraid to use magic because of her history with the darkness. Not knowing if she’s stable enough. I can identify with her at this moment after clawing back from my own mental health blip a couple years ago. She went dark. (I went, arguably, nuts) She’s regained her balance but how secure? It’s going to turn out to be really secure because “Oh my goddess” she’s got this. AND…

The fact that Kennedy is there for Willow to help keep her grounded. Her very presence supports Willow but isn’t the deciding factor for victory. Willow needs to believe in herself that she won’t go back over that edge. She touched the darkness and it freaked her the f out. (Once she came back down from the overwhelm and shock of her grief.) I lived in that fear for a long time. And I’m grateful for the grounding I’ve found outside of the support of others, but within myself.

Just for fun, let’s chat about the DND session. Even the scoobies needed to disassociate before the big thing. And self-permission to have fun during challenging times is key. It can’t all be doom and gloom. Sometimes you recharge that nervous energy through Trogdor the Burninator references and that’s more than okay.

Ultimately we have the’ shared power’ speech. “Here’s the part where you make a choice” more specifically. Because they could easily choose to let the First and its legions overwhelm the world and finally be the apocalypse they couldn’t handle. It’s easier to stay down. It’s easier to say I can’t. But where does that get you? Making that choice to take your power back and say I am more than what wants to overwhelm me is a beautiful moment. This moment, where all the Potentials get their piece of the power pie is tremendously moving. I get shivers just thinking about it. Male or female, we don’t need the permission of Slayer power to take back our own. To say ‘no more’ and get back up off the ground. (Although Slayer strength would be badass, let’s be real.)

The bottom line, this episode epitomises what I love about Buffy and the Whedon-verse. Real characters in a fantastic world who battle larger than life caricatures of the demons we fight in our daily lives. This show saved me in a lot of ways. My very first boyfriend got me to watch it back in 2005, which he may have regretted as it CONSUMED my brain for most of grade 12. It was the perfect time for me to experience this show. I credit it for helping me find my voice offline. I was always a nose-in-a-book girl or heavily distracted with FanFiction. I was one of the quietest in my friend group, not really feeling like there was a value to what I had to say. The message that we can choose to be strong and fight back? That’s one that I’ll eternally be grateful for and will carry with me, always. What’s your favourite episode? And why is it “Once More With Feeling”? ;)

(Honourable mention goes to this eye contact where my headcanon is convinced he sees she really does love him despite him telling her otherwise seconds before. THOSE SMG EYES! I can't.)

[misterewrites]

Cheers from Newton Haven ( Mirror’s Edge)

Hey everyone E here with a surprising amount original works. haha so you can blame my good friend @hains-mae for this because she enabled me. So long story short I love writing. I love creating ideas, story plots, characters all that jazz. Often there's a lot of leftovers that i put away in word document just so I have stuff to work with or ideas i can use later. Most of the time I might write something just to get it out of my system but it usually just ends up gathering dust in my computer.

I've been getting more into modern urban fantasy stories and watching the unsleeping city which is a modern dnd show (highly recommend it. first season's free on youtube over at the dimension 20 channel) and naturally I wanted to write some so here we go.

I don't know how often I'll be writing this because this accidentally became my side project whenever I need a break from the underground but who knows might turn into another big layered project.

so basic summary is there are a group of friends, associates, reluctant allies, organizations and frenemies who work together to keep the peace of the supernatural world in check and to ensure it remains secret to everyone else while living their lives as best as they can. Today's chapter includes Finnrick Drift a private investigator wizard and his best friend Casey Remington, cleric of the hearth

that's it for me. have a great week! stay safe, take care of each other. wear your mask, wash your hands, get the vaccine if you can and I'll see you soon!

and if you wanna an easier place to read and leave me some good old comments or reviews you find the chapter right here https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/75486005

Not gonna lie i promised I’d try to promote myself more and it’s weird. it feels so weird. haha 

It was a busy Friday afternoon in Midtown. People in designer named suits and dresses bustled across the sidewalks in all directions, too caught up in last minute phone calls or sudden late night work orders to notice anything else. The buildings that scraped the bottom of the sky were clean with a fresh coat of paint and maintenance, a testimony to the wealth and power that was found here.

So naturally Casey felt as out of place as fish out of water in his purple baseball jersey and black shorts just standing outside some fancy restaurants doors with his friend.

“Finny” Casey started awkwardly, his sea green eyes darting back and forth awkwardly “Any reason we’re out here being creepy? I got a Neighborhood Watch meeting at like 6.”

Finnrick or Finny as Casey referred to him, was no better dress than he was for the environment. A long black trench coat that was more stitching than fabric, a matching frayed faded fedora sitting comfortably on his head. He wore a nice collared dark red shirt tucked in a black vest but even that felt cheap and tacky compared to the thousands of dollars worth of clothing that passed them on the street every second. At least his black dress pants were dark enough to hide the patch up jobs and naturally the only kept squeaky clean were his loafers.

Finnrick sucked on the thin white stick for a moment before speaking up “I’m debating if it’s worth the trouble. I didn’t realize you had a meeting tonight.”

“Well we always meet up on the fifth. You know talking about treaties, clean up jobs, if any undead hordes have been spotted. My birthday cake.”

“Ah shit” Finnrick rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, his dark brown eyes apologetic “It’s your birthday? Did you want to go? I think I can handle it alone.”

Casey lifted the hat off Finnrick’s head and playfully ruffled his already messy black hair “You getting old Finny. My birthday is the tenth.”

Finnrick waved off his assault “I’m six months younger than you.”

“But” Casey gestured to the smattering of sliver streaks in Finn’s hair “You look older.”

“At least I don’t look like I’m 15. Dude you need a haircut. Everyone here thinks you’re a hippie.”

“A good looking hippie.” Casey gave a dramatic shake, his wavy dark brown hair flowing in the breeze.

The pair burst out laughing, doubling over trying to catch their breath as the business suits eyed them distastefully.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Finnrick made his way over, smiles and charm as they approached the doorman.

“Your cigarette sir.” The doorman spoke dully.

Finnrick pulled out the now finished lollipop “Don’t smoke but done anyway.”

The doorman gestured to the nearby trashcan but Finnrick opt to tuck it away in coat pocket. Disgusted but professional, the doorman gave strained smile as he allowed them entry into the building.

Casey nudged Finnrick curiously “Wizards? Warlocks? God not druids.”

“Probably. This is guy doesn’t have an ounce of magic in him but I wouldn’t doubt he’s got some casters on the payroll. Try not to leave anything behind.”

“I’m a freaking walking carpet here!”

“That” Finnrick grinned playfully “Is why you need haircut.”

Casey gave a fake snarl “Shut up and call the elevator.”

Finnrick whistled, amused by the near silence of the opening doors “Such fance. Barely a sound.”

“So what’s the plan?”

Finnrick scratched the little bush of hair he had on his chin thoughtfully “Ask some questions. Probably get no answers. Be threatened more than likely.

Casey cracked the tension in his neck “Think it’s gonna get ugly?”

“Depends on how many witnesses.”

The two made their way to the seventh floor, the elevator smoothly slowing to a stop before the doors opened with a ding. Two burly men in suits were waiting, flanked on either side as they gestured to an empty restaurant dining room.

“The boss will like to speak to you.”

Finnrick and Casey shared a look.

“Sure!” Finnrick beamed cheerfully, patting both the brutes arms as he passed “I was hoping to talk to him anyway.”

The men growled in annoyance but did nothing as Casey and Finnrick made their way to the center talk, unsurprised to find two glasses of wine waiting for them.

“After you” Finnrick joked, pulling out Casey’s chair for him.

Casey gave a mocking smile “Such a gentleman.”

“Only one I bet” Finnrick whispered before taking his seat.

Casey could hear the low hissing of whatever spells were on their chairs being dispelled.

Yep there was going to be trouble.

Casey eyed the room carefully in search for options: The room itself was pretty dark, dark reddish walls with dim lights to set the mood. Most of the tables had been left alone for whatever event this room was scheduled for later with the chairs stacked in the corner. A few feet to their left was the bar, unmanned but well stocked and a window to the outside nearby.

“Well, well, well!” A voice called out from some shadowy part of the room “Who do I have the pleasure of meeting this fine Friday afternoon?”

Finnrick rose to his feet, politely motioning to himself and Casey “My name is Fredrick and this is my friend Charles.”

The man’s hazel eyes shone with suspicion “No last names?”

“Of course” Finnrick grin “But there’s no need for friends, right? We are friends Robert?”

Robert paused, a barely contained rage shimmering just under the surface. His slicked back graying hair and tailored perfect dark blue suit were signs of a precise, irrational control. This was a man that was never told what to do and considered himself above everyone and anyone.

“Of course.” He answered a moment too late. He was not happy. “Of course. What are polite manners among friends?”

“Thanks Bobby!” Finnrick gave a friendly wink before retaking his seat.

Robert fumed but followed Finnrick’s example as a trio of secret service wannabes took their spots across the room: Inhumanly beautiful men with dark suits and shades. Something was off about them but Casey couldn’t put his finger on it.

“What do I owe the pleasure Freddy?” Robert sneered, hoping to see how Finnrick a taste of his own medicine.

“Well Bobby.” Finnrick went on, purposely ignoring the older man’s jab “As you know you have been stealing countless money from your employees.”

Robert chuckled darkly “I am afraid wherever you have been getting this claim is very misinformed. I am a simple, honest businessman.”

Finnrick nodded in agreement “Of course. Of course. That’s how you can say that with a straight face. Honest businessman of mundane practices.”

Casey felt his hair on his arm stand on end as the atmosphere in the room tensed. The brutes growled unhappily, the trio of bodyguards shifted uneasily and Robert’s eyes shone with understanding.

“I see.” He spoke simply “You’re from the other side.”

“Naturally.” Finnrick confirmed “No need to peer around the bush, is there?”

“No need at all. It is refreshing for such transparency. You don’t get that often in the world of business.”

“I doubt you give much either Mister Walker.”

“Enough games. What are you doing here? Some kind of union rep for magical freaks? Blackmailing me?”

Finnrick sat up with pride “Private investigator. Building a case against you actually.”

Robert carefully studied both men before him, trying to piece together their plan, their angle.

“Either.” He spoke after a few moments “You have all you need or more than likely you have nothing and you are simply here to smoke me out, hoping I will give you something to use against me.”

Casey felt Finnrick’s hand move underneath the table and a rush of chilly air brushed his leg.

Casey gave a quick nod to let Finn know he understood.

Finnrick cleared his throat “You’re aware of the works of Tolkien Mister Walker?”

Robert was caught off guard “What?”

“Elves.” Finnrick answered with a calming voice “Elves are the most famous of his characters that aren’t humans of course but there’s more: Elves, dwarves...”

“Hob…” Robert began but Finnrick cut him off.

“That’s a legal matter but yes. Wonderfully fantastic creatures.”

Robert narrowed his eyes “And?”

Finnrick leaned in close, smile mocking and cold “I hate when people take advantage of them.”

Robert was a cold, calculating heartless man who was used to being the smartest one in the room. The one who rigged the playing field in his favor, held every ace in his hand and led his prey exactly where he wanted them to be. He played with people before he destroyed their hope. He was the apex predator in the world of business.

It was satisfying to see that swagger and pride drain out of his face.

The businessman went for the button hidden underneath his side of the table, no doubt the switch to trigger the holding spells on Casey and Finnrick’s chairs. Of course Finnrick had dispelled them first chance he got and since the only other caster in the room was Casey, no one else noticed.

Robert’s face was the second most beautiful thing Casey had ever seen (first being Jaime but there was no need to tell her that). The panic, the fear, the utter confusion. Just poetic justice at its finest.

Finnrick shot to his feet with a surprising speed given his unremarkable build. He muttered the words of power, a magical incantation as his hand made the proper gestures to complete the spell.

The shades squad went for their weapons but Finnrick had gotten the drop on all of them. He pulled his hand back, a burning flame sitting peacefully in his palm. He pitched the flame forward, lobbing directly at the closet goon. The inhumanly beautiful man rose his arms to defend himself in time. The flame, mostly pressurized air, splashed over him harmlessly as the force of the attack shoved him back into the wall.

Casey followed Finn’s example. He stood as well (not as quick as his friend), a soft gentle light glowing from his hands. He glanced at the two remaining shades and aimed directly for them. A bolt of pure light burst forth from his palms. One goon got a chest full of holy energy and skidded backwards but the other was ready. He leapt to the side and narrowly avoided the attack as he slid out of sight.

The brutes charged towards the pair, murder in their eyes. Finnrick barely spared them a look as he snapped his finger. The two flames sigils he had imprinted om them when he grabbed their arms ignited, twin fires eating at their sleeves and sending them into a panic.

“What’s the plan?” Casey shouted, sending more holy bolts towards the shades.

“Up and over the counter.” Finnrick answered, tossing another fireball.

Casey quickly made his way closer, prepping to leap over the bar when Finnrick crashed into him, a strange whistling sound piercing his ears one moment then silent the next.

“Over buddy over!” Finnrick repeated, grabbing Casey by the collar and heaving him ontop of the counter. Casey flailed for a moment before glancing backwards. Finnrick was right behind him, hand outstretched as a blue translucent field of protective magic hung before the two while the shades opened fire with crossbows, the jet black bolts barely visible in the dimness of the room. They bounced harmlessly off the barrier but Casey could see the cracks starting to form.

Casey hopped over the bar gracelessly, struggling for a moment before clearing the jump. Finnrick tucked himself backwards, allowing himself to roll over the counter top and land on the other side with a thud.

“Remember when elves were honorable?” Casey huffed, quickly scanning the various bottles.

Finnrick scoffed “They were never honorable. They just acted better than everyone.”

“Remember when we were kids?”

“Vaguely. Pass the absinthe. I want to really make this hurt.”

“Blue bottle? These are all in German and Russian.”

“Green liquid. Come on Case I taught you better.”

“Right. I miss when the cartoons used to tell us the mafia was honorable.”

“Criminals these days.” Finnrick shook his head disappointingly “Just don’t make them like they used to. It’s all corporate shit.”

Casey began picking other bottles at random, wrapping them tightly with the tape he brought “It’s disillusioning I tell you. How right is he?”

Finnrick smashed a pane of glass. He took the jagged edge and slowly inched it over the counter, catching sight of the trio of shades for a moment before a crossbow bolt shattered the glass.

He flexed his hand, trying to relax his muscles. They were elves alright. They might be dressed in suits and ears hidden by some sort of glamour illusion magic but old habits died hard. Elves habits never died given their long lives. The trio had fallen into a close knit triangle formation: one fires, one reloads with the last taking aim.

“He had this whole operation locked tight. No one was talking. Either bribed them or made an example of them. Broken bones or horns. I had enough evidence to implicate him but bringing him to trial in the mundy court was going to be pointless.”

Casey moved the bottles back and forth to ensure they wouldn’t come loose midair “So what are we doing here?”

“Given his limited knowledge and the numerous magical violations I counted in this building alone, I figured he’s not registered with the Council.”

Casey’s eyes lit up in understanding “Gotcha. How long we got?”

Finnrick shook his hand back and forth “I’d say 10 minutes knowing the Council. Magic in an unregistered area requires a subtler approach for them. “

Casey snorted “Fake beards and stilts for the gnomes you mean? Robert will be gone by then.”

Finnrick’s face scrunched in concentration “He’s still here. Cowering under the table. He’s not used to dangerous wizards up in his face. Let’s scare him put huh?”

Casey spared his friend a glance “Big shot?”

Finnrick nodded in agreement “Aim high Case.”

And with a synchronicity only achieved through years of friendship, the two stood up at once. Casey threw the makeshift bomb high into the air as Finnrick formed the magical shield once more. Arrow after arrow bounced harmlessly off its surface as the bottles sailed through the air. Finnrick focused directly in the center of the payload. The shield dropped but the elves had broken formation and were all reloading at once. Finnrick pinched his thumb and finger together, murmuring under his breath. A small spark of flame fluttered wildly on his finger. He flicked it as quickly as he could towards the bottles. The spark spun and twisted as it floated towards the payload. The spark expanded, growing in size, and intensity, rapidly without warning. The air warmed as the spark exploded, smashing the bottles and engulfing the alcohol within. Flaming liquid, glass and hot air shot out in every direction. The elves were blasted off their feet and crashed against the far wall with sickening series of crunches. The floor above now had a massive hole in it and the brutes sprawled across the floor. Robert himself was thrown onto the ground, ash and soot covering his face as he struggled to breath.

He tried to call for someone but his ears were ringing and everyone was down for the count. He tried to search for the trouble makers but the smoke that filled the room was too thick.

The elevator dinged open once more and three pale suits came scuttling out. They clung to the walls on all fours, unnatural and repulsive. Their blood red eyes shone in the dimly light room, their fangs barred and ready for blood.

“Vampires!” Casey rubbed his eyes tiredly “This fucker has vampires. Loose by the way.”

“Right?” Finnrick shook his head “There are just so many regulations being violated right now.”

The vampires did not care. They dropped to the floor, gliding effortlessly midst the smoke and flame.

Casey took a step closer to the encroaching undead. He outstretched one hand towards them while the other clasped his necklace tightly. The vampires tilted their head quizzically at the symbol that adored the chain: It was a house of all things, a simple shape of rectangles and triangles no different than what a child would draw.

The vampires chuckled, their eyes bright with hunger.

Of course in their bloodlust they had forgotten something important: It was not the symbol but the faith behind it that was their bane.

Casey held the symbol as high as he could. The vampire shrunk away from him as his eyes blazed with holy energy, the symbol of home glowing with a harsh light. The vampires barred their fangs as a symphony of noises overwhelmed their senses: the soft hum of an air conditioner, footsteps thundering about, the chill of winter, the heat of summer, the overlapping sounds of cars and buses as the roar of crowds boomed in their ears. The city, the hearth of so many people, filled this room for a moment.

The vampires drew back, white smoking curling off their charring flaky skins. They ducked back into the elevator, hiding in whatever corner they could manage until the doors shut with a satisfying ding.

“Come on” Finnrick gestured to the window “I don’t want to be written up for unauthorized magic in an unregistered area.”

Casey and Finnrick scampered to the window. Casey’s face turned a sickly green when he realized how high up they were.

“Ugh I don’t feel good.” his stomach churned queasily.

Finnrick broke the window with his elbow, the fresh smoggy air of the city bringing some color back into Casey’s cheeks “I know buddy but it’s only eight floors up.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“Okay cool jump now!”

Robert regained enough sense to see the troublemakers leap out the window without hesitation. He struggled to his feet when flickers of something began to form. Before he knew what was going on, the previously empty room was now filled with various creatures: Elves, dwarves, a gnome on silts had appeared out of thin air. They weren’t dress in any ancient medieval garb but rather dark blue jackets, jeans and combat boots with the initials M.R.R.D stitched on their clothing. They were no different than any one on the street aside their more unique physical features.

“M.R.R.D!” the gnome cried out, brandishing a strange clockwork pistol “Everyone freeze! We sensed a magical disturbance and a violation of the Arcane Veil!”

Robert rose to his full height “I am Robert Walker and I…”

The gnome opened fire and Robert could feel exhaustion overtake him. Sleepiness began to ebb at his resolve and before he could mutter another word, he closed his eyes. A dreamless sleep until he woke up in a council prison cell a few hours later.

-----

Casey didn’t scream as he fell through the air. He was too busy trying to keep his lunch in his stomach.

Finnrick waited a moment to make sure everything was in place and with a wave of his hand, the two began to fall much slower. They landed on their feet as if they had taken a step off the sidewalk instead of several stories up.

Casey began hyperventilating, trying his best to get his stomach settled. Finnrick began fanning his face when a man walked up to him.

Casey and Finnrick said nothing, waiting for the Arcana Veil to fill in any blanks they were missing. They could’ve told this man anything but they found from experience that it was just easier to roll with whatever the magical blanket that separated the mundane world from the magical decided.

The man peered at them, his gaze unsure and confused.

“Hey, you guys okay?” he asked helpfully.

Casey and Finnrick remained silent.

His eyes glazed over for a moment, a strange shimmering sheen within his pupils telling the duo that the veil was in effect.

“You guys are oddly dressed for window washers.” the man chuckled.

Finnrick glanced back to find a ghostly image of an electrically operated scaffold behind them, water buckets and squeegees included.

They shared a look.

“Would you believe it’s national window washer day?” Casey filled in.

Finnrick added “Yeah, they let us wear whatever want today. It’s only one day out of the year anyway and most of the time we work by ourselves so no harm done.”

the man nodded like that was the most reasonable thing he had ever heard “Right sorry. I’ll just be on my way.”

Finnick and Casey ducked out of the alleyway behind him, heads low and nonchalant as the human M.R.R.D members began to shut down the restaurant from the outside.

“Well that sucked.”

“Just a little. Here let’s go some dinner on me.”

“Damn straight on you Finny. Brutes, elves, vampires?”

“Oh my.”

“Now I’m ordering extra bread for that.”

[redsector-a]

AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @themarshalstale which, thank you so much! I feel like I always get missed on these (I know why, it’s been 84 years since I published anything but still). 1. How many works do you have on ao3?

46 it seems. Which...look I’m slow man so that’s not surprising. lol Also crippling depression does not make for much production, at least for me.

2. What’s your current AO3 wordcount?

309662 according to the stats.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So do I could only AO3 or in like life? lol I suppose it should only be on AO3 since this is an AO3 ask game. Hrm. Basically AO3 can be summed up as: Marvel (in several iterations - all Avengers related) Torchwood Highlander But isn’t it more fun to consider my entire fandom life, which, I’m sorry, I’m old so...yeah. Not all of this is was published and beyond that a lot is not available anymore...which is likely for the best. Highlander Star Wars Babylon 5 Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers Marvel (again, several iterations also of note Avengers and X-Men both count) Torchwood Star Trek LOTR Stargate (SG-1, SGA) Mortal Kombat I dabbled with the idea of Potter fic but never got past the ideas stage.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: You rearrange me till I’m sane Clint finds himself spiraling into a deep depression after the Battle of New York...until the Winter Soldier ends up saving him and inadvertently giving him a new purpose – to save the man that the Soldier had once been – Bucky Barnes. Not one to be outdone, the Soldier decides that his new mission is to ensure that Clint remains alive himself. Protecting a blonde man with a self-destructive streak is somehow very familiar to him. Through the back and forth of who is saving whom they cross the country and learn more about themselves and each other – and perhaps find a reason for living. 2: Five Dates Bucky Didn’t Realize He Was on And the One He Planned Himself To say that Bucky was surprised when Clint kissed him was an understatement. But it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he learned they'd been dating for months without him realizing it.Clint gets whisked away for a mission before they have time to talk and Bucky is left to figure things out on his own - hindsight being 20/20 he can't help but wonder how he missed things the first go around.

3: Puck Luck Bucky Barnes is used to the ups and downs of an NHL season. He's used to the unpredictability of the game, knows that bounces don't always go your way, but that doesn't make a broken hand in the final third of the season any easier to deal with. Especially not when he ends up with an impromptu roommate/personal assistant in the form of one Clint Barton - his agent, Natalia Romanova's (rather attractive) friend he hadn't known existed before his injury.

It's just for six to eight weeks - what could possibly happen in that span of time?

4: Loose Lips Launch Ships

Based on the following prompt: “We go to school together and I think you’re cute and apparently you’re also the pizza delivery guy and my little sibling opened the door screaming hey sibling! you know that kid you’re in love with? you really weren’t kidding when you said his jawline could cut steel holy shit-” Bucky is the pizza delivery guy. Clint's younger (foster) brother has a big mouth.

5: Indelible Bucky Barnes has a pretty decent life – a good job, good friends, a cat that adores him - but something is missing. He’s always found body art to be beautiful and inspiring, and on a whim (and with the hope that maybe he can find what he’s missing) he decides to take the plunge and get a tattoo. That's how he meets Clint Barton. Clint's talented and compassionate and there is an instant spark between the two of them. It's not long before Bucky finds himself wondering and wanting more from the relationship despite the ghosts of the past that crop back up. Because Clint makes him feel normal in a way he truly hasn't for years...

(this was pre-Alpine so I was totally chuffed when canon confirmed Bucky’s status as a crazy cat lady (affectionate).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I really really really want to do it but I often times don’t end up doing it. There are a few reasons. First, I am akwward AF and bad at interaction adn I feel like just saying thank you would be...not enough? Second - I often times tend to like...turtle (aka retreat into myself) when life gets Too Hard/Busy which happens a lot to me (sigh) and then I miss the vague window in my mind in which it would be okay to respond and then it’s even more weird. I do love and cherish all of them. Like there was one months ago that made me go “hmm...I didn’t think I was going to do a sequel to that fic (You rearrange me till I’m sane), timestamp glimpses sure but a sequel hadn’t come to mind” but then the comment made me think! So...who knows? lol Anyway, I literally have been rereading some in an effort to try and get myself going again. Know that if you have commented, I love you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment? Probably: Look at you look at me Bucky's in love with Clint - problem is he's really not supposed to be. For Winterhawk Week 2019 - Forbidden Love (I really don’t want to give away the spin in the fic but...if you’re familiar with the Secret Avengers Vol 2 run circa 2013ish (aka when SHIELD initially ‘took control of the team’) that’s a bit of a hint as to the spin). Were it done, Torch Song would be up there. ;) Torch Song Clint is sent back in time, via an alien device, to 1938. While he tries to figure out how to get back home, he takes up singing and entertaining to make ends meet and does his best to not disrupt the timeline.Then he meets a 21 year old Bucky Barnes. --- A torch song is a sentimental love song, typically one in which the singer laments an unrequited or lost love, either where one party is oblivious to the existence of the other, where one party has moved on, or where a romantic affair has affected the relationship.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Does *wanting* to write crossovers count? lol I want, so badly, to do more crossovers and fusions (which...are kinda deeper versions of crossovers in a way). The only one I do have posted is a crossover between Highlander and Torchwood -

The Immortal Mr. Jones A series of vignettes (some long, some short) in the life of the newly immortal Ianto Jones. My most ambitions project that I have been working on since late 2011/early 2012 is a fusion of the Avengers with Stephen King’s the Stand. I will get that done at some point *shakes fist*  The Stand, for those who don’t know it, is an epic 1000+ page novel about a flu epidemic (I know) that wipes out over 99% of the population and then two figures representing Good and Evil pull the survivors in two directions for a showdown. So basically it’s a non-powered modern AU set in that universe. It’s a passion and comfort project. lol

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Well, minor bitching back when I was in a prior fandom because I tagged a pairing in a fic but it was pre-slash and not labeled as pre-slash. I got hate on...I think it was Torch Song? And I’ve gotten hate on tumblr re me and my fic in general as well. Fandom! *jazz hands* Oh! And I’ve also been hit by those reviewers within Winterhawk (among general Clint pairings actually) who like rate you on either number scales or the “meh” scale. Which isn’t hate exactly but...it’s passive aggressive bullshit because I can’t believe none of them realize at this point that the authors can see their bookmarks - you know?

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Do I write it well? I have no idea. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. Well...there was, I think, one of those reposting sites that had a few fics on it but I don’t think it was being passed off as someone else’s? I can’t quite recall. It’s why I have a note on AO3 about reposting my work anyway.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not entirely, but sort of. Let me explain - I am part of a PBEM game; which for those unfamiliar since it’s a term that was most heavily in use 15-20 years ago, in which you basically do a round robin type writing thing but rather than everyone writing the same characters you write your own characters and you play off what other people have done. Another way of looking at it is  it’s basically DnD without dice and written down rather than done out loud. You also don’t have to all be around at the same time. It’s a lot of fun and yes I have been in it for 20 years even though there aren’t many of us left but they are some of my dearest friends and fabulous writers. Wins all around.  One of the other writers and I have actually toyed with the idea of doing a co-written fic actually, mostly because we work super well together and keep getting ideas for things but can’t really do them as rpgs since the pbem style isn’t used much anymore.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Winterhawk probably. Though, let’s be real - Han & Leia are epic and amazing as are John & Delenn (from Babylon 5).

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does wanting to expand The Black Stallion books as a wee child count? lol Not much of that was written save for world building ideas but there was a great oral tradition of telling stories to my friends. Otherwise...maybe a tie between Star Wars and Highlander. Star Wars was a love since I was super young but the writing bug didn’t hit me until around the same time Highlander was a thing as well.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You rearrange me till I’m sane for sure. Though Torch Song, if it were finished, would be tied I imagine (I suck at picking favorites). Honorable mention to Puck Luck and Indelible. Tagging: I have seen this like a million times (okay 5) so I feel like everyone has been tagged already that I know. But...I guess... @vexbatch @crazycatt71 @heartonfirewrites and @disruptedvice sorry if anyone has been tagged before.

[cherryblossom-chopper]

Hi. Hope you’re doing well and that I’m not bothering you too much by requesting this :)

-Your Preference in a Partner (He/She/They/Etc): She

-Some Personality Traits: INFJ. I’m very passionate about a lot of things, but I’m almost overly aware of how annoying that can be for some, so I tend to keep to myself as a result. I also tend to take more of a listening role in conversations, mostly because I want to be able to understand peoples’ circumstances to the best of my ability and help them in equal measure.

-Your Zodiac: Aries

-Some Hobbies: Cooking, games of all varieties (D&D and strategy games have been my go-to lately), watching old and/or silly Shows and Movies (60’s Batman, Speed Racer, etc.), and learning odd/fun things about different topics.

-Your Favorite Animal: probably dogs (specifically Huskies)

You're not a bother sugar! Thanks for your request! Okay, okay, just hear me out on this one!

I ship you with Caesar Clown

Caesar will initially find interest in you because you just let him go on and on about his research. He enjoys that. Then one day he realizes you’ve barely said a word about what you’ve been working on. And for some reason that bothers him. So he sets out to change that.

Caesar thinks it’s annoying that you think you’re annoying. For the love of the Gods please tell him about your day or your new hyper fixation. Yes, he desperately wants to hear a fun fact that you have.

You cannot convince me that this man doesn’t play the artificer class in DND. Caesar seems like the type to collect memorabilia of stuff he enjoyed when he was small. He’s a huge nerd.

Relationship Trope Office Romance

[rantheon]

the bakarina anime is done! it’s just a drop in the ocean that is the otome isekai genre so these are some recs + what you need to know about them. i just listed most of my favs otherwise it’d be too long :p

in no particular order. includes some non-isekai ones too. needless to say most of these aren’t completed yet

my next life as a villainess: all routes lead to doom

using this to plug that there’s more bakarina content in the form of light novels, manga and 3 spin-offs

an observation record of my fiancee - a self-proclaimed villainess

told in the pov of prince cecil, whose fiancee bertia straight up tells him she’s a villainess of an otome game from her past life

if you ever wonder what jeord from bakarina might be thinking half the time, this is probably close. cecil is the same kind of prince who initially finds things bored and predictable until they met the mc

the things cecil would get up to for bertia? hoo boy

also the way the mangaka draws hair is addicting to look at

the villainess cecilia silvie doesn’t want to die so she decided to crossdress

the title speaks for itself~ after remembering an otome game she played in her past life, cecil (previously cecilia) is now the one capturing the hearts of the academy ladies instead

it’s fairly new so there’s not much of it yet :c but it’s pretty interesting

the original otome game had a whole rpg combat system going on and i’m hyped to see how it’s gonna lead the story

the Angelique vibes are strong in this one

the villainess wants to marry a commoner

isabella used to play an otome game in a past life, but she was really only interested in a side character named ursch. and then one day she finds him in her mansion garden

her past life self is such a mood - i too have 100% otome games in hopes of side characters getting hidden routes but alas

definitely deserves the ‘video game’ tag. isabella can see status screens and character stats/skills etc, and all the gacha rewards and grinding transferred over after her reincarnation. she’s the isekai female protag we’ve always wanted

seriously the main ship is too op for their own good aha

deathbound duke’s daughter

in a past life, erika only managed to finish 2.5/7 scenarios of an otome game thanks to an unlucky encounter with knife-kun. with the different flags of her impending doom approaching, she takes things into her own hands years before the game events start

very fantasy-oriented (the most on this list) and pretty action-packed, once you get past the game exposition in the first 3? chapters

the world building is brilliant, from the hafan mages to the aurelian alchemists, and there’s beasts and wands and spells and dnd stuff sprinkled in

the cast has quite interesting dynamics and interwoven plotlines, and they’re all dorky in their way :>

beware of the villainess

melissa remembers a novel from her past life and desperately tries to cut off contact with the male leads, but they still make her life hell & she rages

she’s just so done with everyone and you can’t help but relate to her

definitely the funniest on this list XD melissa and her reactions takes the cake but even the shit characters are hilarious in their own way

there’s also a lot of parodies to memes etc & best of all, there’s cussing. all the shits and fucks. a whole lot of it

it’s great

death is the only ending for the villainess

penelope wakes up as the villainess from a game she’d been playing in her past life, only right now it's on the hardest difficulty where death is literally everywhere. thus she tries, well, not dying

what’s cool about this is that penelope has access to the original game system. she can see menus, choice options etc. the male leads even have affection percentages floating above their heads :> which is always cool to see (and what i’m a sucker for)

but it’s definitely one of the darker ones on this list. iirc there’s depictions of violence, abuse, drugs and then some. just a fair warning

the daughter of albert house wishes for ruin

upon realizing that she’s the villainess from a past-life otome game, mary decides to stay as one. chaos ensues

i love this manga so much, everyone is so quirky and there’s something to laugh about on almost every page. the story almost feels self-aware of itself and just lets the characters do whatever. like ride bikes

addie is so cute ;o;

it’s definitely something everyone should experience

i’m a villainess daughter so i’m going to keep the last boss

one of the finished ones!

post-annulment, aileen pulls a Lisa Tepes and asks the demon king claude to marry her. he refuses. hijinks ensues

mostly on the fantasy side, as it builds on the world of the monsters

the cast is pretty fun! aileen’s smart, funny and pretty competent in her own right. plus she and claude are positively adorable together

milady just wants to relax

post-annulment, ronia decides to open a cafe in the countryside. it later becomes the frequent hangout of a beastmen mercenary group, who are intensely feared by the townsfolk

well... beastmen. that’s all you need to know /wink

okay, that aside, it’s just as chill as the title suggests. ronia slowly makes friends she can trust, and the beastmen find a second home in the only cafe that’s willing to accept them. it’s pretty wholesome

the banished villainess! living the leisurely life of a nun making revolutionary food

despite actively trying to change her ‘villainess from a past-life otome game’ fate since childhood, elizabeth gets annulled, her noble title stripped, and is sent to a church in a neighboring kingdom. she enjoys it more than expected, despite the appearance of the ever watchful leonid

there’s plenty of 21st-century food like sandwiches, cotton candy leonid’s muscles <3

the entire cast is lovable, and can chris get an f for all the heart attacks leonid keep giving him

seduce the villain’s father

yereninovica (or just yerenica) realizes that she’s in the world of a novel she read in her past life, but as the aunt of said novel’s mc. after thwarting a kidnapping that’s basically the mc’s origin story, she takes it upon herself to also prevent the tragic death of emperor belgoat

a bit different since it switches the roles around (side character x side character) and goes into the “parent generation” of the original work

there’s also an interesting bit where the world seems to recognize her as a hijacker, and where that takes her, we’ll see in due time :o:

plus the way yeni habitually calls him ‘father’ cracks me up every time

transferred to another world but i’m the savior of an otome game

after a ritual gone wrong, “yamada tarou” (fake name) is stuck in the world of an otome game. the only way back is with a magical ring, normally obtained after becoming the lover of one of the male leads. he of course says no i’m going adventuring but the game doesn’t like that

it’s absolutely hilarious - the leads treat our mc like a heroine, and there’s a lot of otome tropes that are called out on/parodied. like the seiyuus’ names oh my god

tarou’s reactions are great and his appraisal skill is the funniest thing alive

endo and kobayashi’s live commentary on the villainess

in modern japan, endo and kobayashi start their playthrough of an otome game, which becomes a bit glitchy and odd. they discover that siegward, a male lead in the game, can hear what they’re saying. they use this chance to finally give lisolette a happier ending

much of the story’s focus is on the characters slowly warming up to lisolette, and a bit on endo/kobayashi’s irl relationship. despite being the primary drive of the story, lisolette herself hardly moves the plot - if you know what i mean

regardless it’s undeniably adorable

tearmoon empire

no isekai, more of time travel? chronoskimming?

mia wakes up 10 years in the past after being sentenced to death. now afraid of guillotine-kun, she strives to solve the issues in her kingdom that had previously led to her doom

a bit similar to bakarina in terms of concept: avoid death flags, unknowingly recruits the people she meets into her little saintess cult. the misinterpretation is very strong, and in brilliantly funny ways

it has really fun narration ngl especially in the light novel

of course, i’ll claim palimony!

to prepare for her annulment, yulia starts scheming recording her fiance’s meetups with the heroine to use as evidence. if you’re gonna lose a suitor, might as well get some money out of it, right? along the way she gets involved with rudonik, one of the male leads

no reincarnation. rather than an otome game, the villainess story comes from a book written by a side character, and the “heroine” just decided to play it out in real life

the cast together is a riot, and it’s entertaining to watch yulia only think in profits and every connection she can make to achieve it

the villainess’ slow prison life began with her broken engagement

no isekai, just a plain old villainess

post-annulment, rachel is sentenced to imprisonment. which she enjoys and is thoroughly, hilariously prepared for

everyone’s a little afraid of rachel and for good reason. it’s better to find out yourself through the LN or manga, but let’s just say that even the king doesn’t want to deal with her XD

the holy grail of eris

now this one is interesting, putting the villainess trope into a mystery ghost story. that said, no isekai either

our innocent heroine constance attends a party and encounters scarlet, an executed villainess from ten years ago. a body possession and some public embarrassment later, they decide to team up to solve the mystery that might be behind scarlet’s death

i mean, ghost villainess? sign me up

+ some honorable mentions

i favor the villainess (the heroine goes for the villainess- girls? girls? yes)

a bellicose lady got reincarnated (a delinquent reincarnates as a heroine; what a concept :o unfortunately there’s not a lot of english content for it yet)

it seems i got reincarnated into a yandere otome game (i like that the mc actively makes it so that game can’t ever happen the way it should; plus, yanderes are always interesting to study)

inso’s law (modern isekai, and quite cute!)

the reincarnated young lady aims to be an adventurer / holy guardian tiger (similar to deathbound duke’s daughter in that there’s more of a focus on the fantasy aspect)

expecting to fall into ruin, i aim to become a blacksmith (so far the only one with a shounen tag that i like; its main charm is probably the cast and their interactions with each other eliza best girl)

since i’ve reincarnated as the villainess’ father i’ll shower my wife and daughter with love (big big wholesome vibes)

level 99 villainous daughter (severely op lady who takes no shit from the people looking down at her, and regularly thinks about blowing up the academy within the first 4 chapters? hell yeah)

may i please just ask one last thing? (post-annulment, the mc literally punches everyone in the room; it’s great)

this is getting long now oops

edit: i also made a visual-friendly personally-tagged-by-me bookshelf here!

[zirkkun]

What are your views on UT!Chara? Are they good, neutral, evil (in your opinion) (No need to answer this ask if you do not want to)

hoo boy let me just. you’ve activated a Secret Essay(tm) of mine anon fbdshabl sorry i’ll try to keep it short LMAO

(under a read more just for a) length b) ut spoilers.. even tho im p sure most of you have beaten the game but who knows lol c) uhh Chara’s story is pretty dark so this has mentions of abuse and whatnot so please be aware of that ^^;;)

Morality alignment wise is like. Idk. I’m bad with assigning that half the time because it’s all subjective in a way right oh no my true neutralness surfaces like for example I wouldn’t do something I think is bad right? But someone else might think it’s bad. (Like my 16 yr old self might consider me today a terrible person just bc I like Undertale lol 16 yr old me is rude don’t listen to them) If I were to put them on a kind of DnD like alignment scale though, I think I would probably put them in a lawful neutral kind of alignment, maybe leaning a bit towards lawful evil.

But here’s the thing. Without Chara having any sort of backstory as to why they hate humans? It’s very hard for me to gauge where their motivation lies for the things that they did. Based off of what Asriel tells you when you talk to him in the Ruins, the genocide route, and the bits of narration we have, we can pretty much assume:

- Chara was pretty abusive, this is undeniably a fact even from just watching the videos in the True Lab; and while Asriel recognizes this, he didn’t want to lose them because they were the only one he felt close to. Which is likely part of the abuse they dealt by making him feel alone without them. - Chara hated humanity for reasons they would not disclose to Asriel, but it’s pretty implied that they attempted to commit suicide by jumping into Mt. Ebott. This could mean that they were abused in their past, which could in turn provide reason for their abusive nature (because, with Chara being a child, it’s very likely that they took in the personalities of those around them to make their own person up. Even though they were hurting, they didn’t exactly know why, and even still, many people with an abusive history that end up abusive themselves might not even recognize that they’re being abusive, which might be the case for Chara as well.) - Chara probably cared for Asriel. There’s a lot of things to indicate that they may have faked it or maybe it seems like they didn’t by their abusive nature towards Asriel, but it’s unlikely that Chara would fake caring about someone. If they jumped off the side of a mountain because they hated the people they were around so much, there’s very little reason for them to pretend they liked someone at the potential expense of their own happiness. More likely than not, Chara desperately wanted to keep Asriel close, but ended up being really controlling in an attempt to keep him close. Additionally, when you hug Asriel at the end of the True Pacifist route, the line “Hah... I don’t want to let go...” is said by the narrator, indicating it may have been Chara who said it. But considering how Sans also has lines that are spoken silently and in the default font, this may not be entirely accurate.  - Imma go off for a second about genocide because i have a pet peeve about when people suddenly decide that Chara is the one that caused it. This doesn’t make any sense -- but at the same time, with little to no games considering the Player and Player-Insert character to be two seperate characters, it’s no surprise to me that people i guess “projected” onto Chara. However, if you seperate the player from Frisk (in the same manner that Kris and the Player are seperate in Deltarune), it becomes easier to understand. Chara had nothing against the monsters. They liked monsterkind. It’s extremely unlikely that they would have the motivation to kill all of the monsters on their own. This wasn’t created until far into the genocide route, where the player has done most of the work for them. Chara is now living on pure Determination, which as we know is void of care and purely puts a person on a path of achieving their last desire, and once they wake up like this, with most of monsterkind already dead... well, what else is there to live for? They already attempted to kill humanity, failed, and now the only people they treasured have fallen like flies. Nothing matters in this world. Might as well delete the whole thing to finish the job. (also Frisk doesn’t have any motivations of their own either... unlike Kris they are shown to have no specific motivations (that i’m aware of?) one way or another and don’t reject the player ever so the idea that a canon frisk would reject the genocide route doesn’t make sense to me either. obvs au’s are exempt because they’re free real estate lmao anyway this is unrelated) - Chara’s a very calculated and observent person as well -- just look at how they died? They weren’t even afraid of death. They poisoned themselves with full faith that Asriel would take their Soul and bring them back to life (which also goes back to my point about how much Chara cared for Asriel, since, if they didn’t trust him, they would not have left him with that huge responsibility) by absorbing their Soul into his own body so they could exist as one. Chara saw their death as a stepping stone in their plan. All this from just seeing Asgore accidentally eat buttercups once and getting sick. A whole plan to get revenge on the people who hurt them from that. They even made a statement about wanting to be placed back on the Surface just to cover Asriel’s ass when he eventually took Chara on his own to the Surface. - okay this is probably just more of a me thing, but I’ve never gotten the whole “Chara hates Sans” concept. But considering I also don’t really think of Chara as the one who attempted the genocide route, I guess it makes sense. Chara probably doesn’t care about Sans one way or another, really, and Sans probably has very little idea who Chara is. I’ve always seen Sans’s statements during his battle said directly towards the Player, more or less using Frisk as the messenger -- like, for example (yes I have this on hand don’t judge me):

“sounds strange, but before this i was secretly hoping we could be friends. i always thought the anomaly was doing this because they were unhappy. and when they got what they wanted, they would stop all this. and maybe all they needed was. i dunno. some good foods, some bad laughs, some nice friends. but that’s ridiculous, right? yeah. you’re the type of person who won’t EVER be happy.”

- (cont) At this point it sort of taps into something I was gonna write for that Sans essay but here we go. I bolded “the anomaly” because this is the point where he directly refers to the player as their own individual in the game. What’s the only thing that’s different between Undertale and any moments of his life previous? The player. Hence, anomaly. Even Chara would have existed before the player showed up, right? Chara fell sometime within the 2010′s according to the opening of the game, and in between that time and when Frisk showed up, 6 other humans fell into the Underground. Clearly none of them had the same powers Frisk did, because otherwise, they would have not died and left their Soul behind for Asgore to use. That leaves one thing different -- player interference. Chara even directly states that the player is the one who woke them up with Determination, meaning they were asleep (or dead) for every year previous to their arrival. Sans probably only knows them as “the first human” like every other monster in the Underground (aside from the Dreemurs, of course).

i could probably go on for a while. but i will save you the time you probably didn’t want to spend reading this already by shutting up fdbshafb

[ashtonq247]

SOKKA CENTRIC FICS

Here are some Sokka centric fics! Most of these works are not labeled as Sokka centric and so it’s very hard to find! There’s only 64 fics out of 15019 fics 

Keep in mind I did not do any Zukka or Tokka fics bc I did not want to wade through that esp bc Zukka fics are 80% Zuko centric. It’s also possible that I missed some fics as, again, they are kinda hard to get a hold of. I literally had to block the Zuko tag at one point bc if Zuko was a character in the fic, it was going to be about Zuko, and it was just a lot to wade through to find that one fic where Zuko was a character but wasn’t the main character. I think my chrome shut down at some point which could have caused me to not include some fics. Basically I’m saying I didn’t get everything but I got MOST of it. Like 80% of it, even if I didn't include things I personally don't really like to read-sorry. Show this to anyone who says Sokka isn’t underrated! my man got 64 out of 15019 fics! 

Also, PLEASE KUDOS THESE STORIES 👏👏👏👏 so many of them have far too little kudos and deserve more love! I think bc ppl are kinda bad with tagging, some of these stories hardly get any hits! Give them some love. And reblog this so other Sokka stans don’t have to wade through so much fics like I had to (seriously I’ve seen some crazy fics you would not believe *shivers*) bc it’s hard to find a needle in a haystack

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 Aang

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14326722 - cute tickle fight (pure fluff :DD)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14984378 - Aang and nightmares, and Sokka and his big brother instincts

https://archiveofourown.org/works/488040 - Sokka and Tenzin, Sokka gets the news that Aang died (set in LOK)

-there is very little Aang and Sokka fanfic, let alone Sokka centric Aang and Sokka fanfic :(

Toph

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1885884 - Sokka makes smth for Toph 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15472509 - Toph dreams abt the airships

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24720889 - “In the bad dreams, he loses his grip. In the worst ones he lets go”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25229905 - Sokka teaches Toph to write her name

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14718887 - Toph and hands, Sokka being her favorite hand to hold

https://archiveofourown.org/works/53498 -Sokka stuck in a cave

-there’s quite a lot of Toph and Sokka stories, not necessarily abt Sokka tho. They kinda go hand in hand, so it’s not really about one or the other.

Katara

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15288189 - before they leave to fight Azula/airships 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19946611 -Sokka sick fic :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22005709 -katara apologises for what she said to Sokka

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2277381 - Sokka wants to teach katara how to fight (also this is the first atla fanfic on AO3 that isn’t fucking weird lol)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2523782 - the gaang is too young and too starving :(

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452795 - the only bender!Sokka story that has interested me bc it doesn’t take away from his character. It’s also vry satisfying to read

https://archiveofourown.org/works/404527 - Sokka’s feelings after his mom’s death- childhood

https://archiveofourown.org/works/404522 - “After the war Sokka says goodbye to his sister and the Southern Watertribe

-I wish there were more Sokka and Katara stories of before they met Aang.It’d be cute and angsty.

Zuko

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25243948 - The gaang plays hide and seek/train, Zuko and Sokka team up to make a prtty good team- Sokka is rlly bad ass in this ;D it’s one of my favorites ngl

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24809161/chapters/60002182 - fire nation sokka- oof this one hurts :,)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22305031 - like the only modern au that I rlly like, featuring Sokka on cactus juice and… McDonalds employee Zuko lol

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24462145 - Sokka gets kidnapped. Sokka is… very Sokka ish in this

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475717/chapters/51180856#workskin -Zuko is a fire nation spirit, featuring Jet

-Zuko and Sokka stories tend to be well written, but it’s rlly hard trying to find a story with both of them that isn’t Zuko centric, and even some of the stories I have here are borderline Zuko centric 

Suki 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12270624 - what Sokka feels every full moon

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1338157 - stars, and both suki and Sokka contemplate being away from home

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423484 - “Sokka and learning to let himself be loved”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/648200 - “she should be jealous, she knows, of this ghost that clings to sokka”- it’s short but I love this one 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25290874 - set right after boiling rock before they go back to the air temple. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/334919 - Sokka and suki dig up the secret library and try to strike a deal with its caretaker

The gaang

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14348382 -basically a re telling of the Sokka’s master ep, but in Sokka’s POV 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16303286 - the meaning of tattoos, and non bender tattoos 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24426670 - “the gaang has a sleepover and Sokka manages to reforge bonds between the four nations while he’s unconscious”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22252 -Sokka thinks of his place in the gaang (set after season 2) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24439972 - the gaang needs a potty brake and Sokka is annoyed (pure fluff :DD)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24559357/chapters/59308846#workskin - spirit sensitive Sokka! Very interesting I’m invested and there’s only 2 chapters so far TvT (featuring Sokka w/ white hair 😩👌✨)

Hakoda 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25004614 - Sokka being a child soldier, and Hakoda’s regret

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22964113 - “how all the members of team avatar discover their bending abilities”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25003291 - “Sokka gives himself his first warrior’s wolf tail” (pure fluff :DD)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24580543 -Sokka throws his first boomerang https://archiveofourown.org/works/24720004 - why Sokka never grew his hair out- child soldier/ insecurity stuff

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384172 - Sokka tells his dad about Yue 

Piandao 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/686093 - Sokka asks piandao to continue training him

https://archiveofourown.org/works/582971 - Sokka visits piandao to make a new sword and ask a question

https://archiveofourown.org/works/570663 - kinda piandao centric, but also Sokka centric? Piandao’s backstory and father figure feels :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/566995 - Sokka believes he’s simply ordinary, nothing special about him

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11580402 - “we do not induct children into the Order, Piandao!”

-there needs to be more Sokka and Piandao fics and I’m pissed because there’s more Zuko and piandao fics then there is Sokka and piando what kinda bs is this??

Yue

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2676488 - kinda Yue centric but like Sokka centric too? It’s about her sacrifice and why, and the love she feels for him

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3443258 - it’s a full moon the night before Sokka and the other councilman judge a blood bender (set during that one ep in lok with that blood blender dude)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24872200 - Sokka and Bumi (katara’s kid) have a sleepover. Sokka and old wounds

-I’m surprised there’s not more of them. Yue is always mentioned in Sokka centric fics, but not really the center of it

Other

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059851/chapters/57900052 - Sokka and Momo. I think this is spirit sensitive Sokka story abt Sokka being able to process his grief (also friendship with Momo yes)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/567004 - Sokka and boomerang, right after the war

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064682 - an au of sorts, dealing with a spirit in the southern water tribe that steals ppl. And like it’s sorta the only Kya and Sokka fanfic out there?? As far as I’m aware anyway

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25209895 - a Sokka character study: he has more to him than meets the eye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636988 - Sokka before Aang, this is explaining why he’s the way he is

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12611212 - Sokka meets a wolf spirit in the spirit world who questions his worth

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17201468/chapters/40447214 - haven’t actually read this srry all I know is that it’s time travel au, Sokka centric, and is one of the only stories with a lot of chapters (11 as of now)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/331690/chapters/535433 - “a series of unrelated drabbles centered around Sokka and his awesomeness” -29 chapters as of now (I haven’t read this one either)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/155711 -finally a story where Sokka is a strategic genius using his brains to help his friends and politics- set after the war

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15992618 - Sokka and Space Sword, an interesting take for what happened after the war, where there isn’t rlly any good guys in war, and Sokka tries to find his sword

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2960030 - set after the war, Sokka returns to the South Pole and finds himself again as just the regular guy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722083 - Sokka’s thoughts on himself

https://archiveofourown.org/works/259980 - an au ofsorts, Katara dies by Azula and Aang is missing, and wars don’t just end- Sokka is vry cool in this

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7547833 - Sokka and Kya II-  Sokka has to sit through kya’s singing of secret tunnel (pure fluff :D)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/887394 - Sokka and Kaatang’s and One of Toph’s kids (Sokka babysits, also HE INVENTS DND WHAT MORE COULD U WANT!!!) pure fluff :DD

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4949257 - Uncle Sokka and Bumi’s relationship oof

-Uncle Sokka is highly underrated and so is Sokka’s relationship with his mom. I will also never get enough of character study fics

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What have I learned?? People who are writing a story about Sokka should tag that story as SOKKA CENTRIC. It’ll give ur fic more love, and make it easier for ppl who love Sokka to find a fic about him. Also, on tumblr you see all these great analyses on Sokka, with theories like Spirit sensitive!Sokka, or Sokka working for the white lotus, and yet there are hardly any fics on it??? The untapped potential?!?! We also have no idea what Sokka does in the future (still salty LOK) so this gives us a lot of room to imagine and create stories! Like I need a fanfic on how Sokka does wtf??? You’d have thought that with this atla renaissance and people gaining a new found respect and admiration for Sokka’s character, that there’d be more Sokka focused fics, but nope :( 

I’ve noticed that those who like Sokka don’t contribute to the fandom fic wise and guys we gotta step up (like I’m one to talk lol I’m gonna try and write some fics I swear!) 

Also if you still want more Sokka fics I suggest searching in the tags bender Sokka, water bender Sokka, and fire bender Sokka. I also suggest that you go to fanfiction.net. I know it’s old, but so is this fandom, which means a lot of fics are there too. It’s easier to wade through the fics on fan fiction.net than AO3 simply bc of how little tags you can put there, so if Sokka is tagged, you know he actually plays a part in the story (no shade on AO3 I love it but sometimes it’s hard to find stuff bc the tagging system relies on the people knowing how to use tags, and the avatar fandom does not, but that’s bc it’s old)

Anyway, LOVE SOKKA MORE and don’t forget to reblog and let other ppl get access to these fics bc I know I would have loved it if someone made an entire list! (And organized it lol I never thought I was capable of organizing)

And now I'm gonna tag the ppl who commented on that one post who wanted me to make it @talonsandsuch @ships-and-shitty-decisions @dearestpartnerofgreatness 

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama 3

For anyone who hasn’t realized, we keep changing perspectives. Time to hear from Nikolai!!!

(I’m writing this instead of my book. Help.)

Lamia designs/species belong to @vex-bittys

< PREV | NEXT >

           Nikolai narrowed his eyesockets at the two intruders: a stranger and Keith. Keith had – presumably – been broken of his tendency to eat eggs and the occasional youngling long ago, but Nikolai was taking no chances with the brood. Bitties and full sized lamias alike were chirping and hissing in the nursery, some waiting for siblings to hatch, and Nikolai would violently murder anyone who harmed them.

           His mighty glare and splayed hood was enough to get the human to slowly back out of the room, door clicking shut. Keith however was either unphased or just really good at hiding it. Honestly no one, not even Hux, was sure which anymore.

Keith’s eyelights went to the squirming children in Nikolai’s grip and he chuckled, “You, uh, need an extra hand?”

“No,” Nikolai hissed despite very much needing one. One of the baby pygmies had managed to wrap around his neck, little hands trying to catch the lights inside his eyesockets. Nikolai – and most everyone in all honesty – would never tolerate this in most cases, but they were literally just hatched yesterday, they hardly knew better. Another pygmy was hiding under his shirt and trying to squirm into his ribcage while his hands were full with the remaining baby who was hell-bent on trying to investigate this New Thing. They were so curious, it was adorable, but sometimes it gave him a heart attack. Keith could probably be trusted, sure, but maybe he was wrong if he was bringing random strangers into the nursery.

“You sure?” Keith asked, a grin splitting his face and a hand coming up over his mouth as he clearly tried to stifle laughter.

“Yes.”

           King lets out a clearly very dignified yelp as the Pygmy’s hand reaches its goal, shoving itself into his eyesocket. Instinct alone keeps him from dropping the baby in his hands, though he has to quickly resituate the squirming child to free up a hand so he can remove the philanges from his eyesocket. (He opts to ignore Keith’s bouts of laughter at his plight, unhelpful ass). He loudly hisses in warning – not that he’d ever hurt the kid, but he couldn’t very well let this be considered acceptable – and sternly says, “No.”

           The Pygmy cries out in protest, hands flailing about in an attempt to get inside his skull again. Nikolai sighs and puts him in the Time Out Tank. Nothing cruel of course, it’s plenty big for a baby lamia, having a small tree to climb on, some sand, and a few plants, but the Pygmy starts yelling and pushes himself to the glass.

           Nikolai rolls his eyes, “You need a nap.”

           “Oh my god you’re such a mom,” Keith wheezed between laughter.

           “Well someone has to be.” Technically they had handlers for this, volunteers and workers to help socialize the children, but they didn’t know how to do it right! No, clearly this was a job for a King. Alesha was too soft on them, Katlyn thought giving week old hatchlings a phone was considered acceptable, Josh had a bad habit of losing track of bitties (though Nikolai would reluctantly agree he was good with the full sized children), and Drew should really get another job because he can’t handle even a baby bitty baring fangs at him; he’d been here one week and everyone was already questioning his life choices.

           Nikolai put the other two Pygmys back with the rest of their kind. It was a full sized playpen with a bunch of toys to stalk, wrap around, and chew on. Nikolai could watch them all day, but there were far more than just them after all, and he had a discussion to have…

           “Keith. What exactly were you thinking?” Nikolai hissed. The words what the fuck were on the tip of his tongue, but they were in a room full of children.

           “About what?” Keith said.

           “Don’t play dumb.”

           “Don’t have to play dumb.”

           Nikolai rolled his eyes, massaging the bones between his eyes. “What in the world would possess you to bring someone back here?” They would’ve told him if there was a new worker or volunteer coming in, right?

           “I mean, hey, they have to get used to people, right? She’s a bit weird, but seems sweet,” Keith said, shrugging his shoulders and idly watching some Bitty Cornies fuss as they all tried to take a nap on the same heat rock, squirming about and pushing each other off with offended little hisses and chirps.

           “And you’ve known her how long?” Nikolai said. He didn’t recognize her scent at all, but maybe it was an online friend? Still, that’s dangerous if they only just met for real.

           “Uh…” Keith looked to the side, huffing. “She wants to play DnD with us dude. Figured I’d take her around and say hi. We’ll get to know her.”

           Nikolai sighed, putting his hand on his face. “So you don’t know her.”

           “Nah.”

           “You could’ve asked me to step outside to meet her.” He cared for Keith, he did, but this was idiocy…

           Maybe too much idiocy. Keith could be a bit odd sometimes, but he wasn’t stupid. Or at least not stupid enough to bring a stranger into the nursery, not unless his master plan was to try to get her mauled. Oh sure, he was friendly and generally pretty relaxed (save for the random bouts of “zoomies”), but not unwary or naïve. So what in the world would get into him to just immediately accept some random person…

           Oh.

           Nikolai’s eyes widened as something clicked in his mind. “Is she yours then?” He was well aware of Chains’ soul bonds. He’d raised no small number of them, hugging them goodbye as they left with happy partners in a process that always felt too fast, but he rarely heard of any ill relations or had one returned, something he couldn’t say the same for with other breeds. Maybe he didn’t understand it fully, maybe he’d never have the instant connection and magical bond, but he was happy for them, really.

           “I literally just met her,” Keith said in a blatant not-answer.

           “… She is, isn’t she?” Nikolai said. He smiled softly, going over to hug Keith close, coils entangling and all forgiven. That said, his soul hurt at the idea of Keith leaving. Nikolai had only been a preteen himself when Keith first hatched, they’d practically grown up together. After all these years, it’d just seemed like Keith would be there permanently, holding DnD for himself and others until he got too old to do so. But asking him to stay was cruel, the very thought stirring up guilt. He should be happy for Keith, right? The old snake had finally found his person, this was great! They’d miss him terribly, but it wasn’t fair to force him to stay…

           Keith sighed, relaxing into Nikolai, “Yeah.” He didn’t sound all too thrilled.

           “… Is something wrong?”

           “I dunno. Like, I guess I’ve found her or something, at least it feels like it, but it’s not like I want to leave.”

           Nikolai’s soul jumped in his chest, but he kept his desire to grin giddily down. “You don’t have to stay, you know?”

           “I mean, that’s her call, right? Doubt the working people would let me keep homing here if they knew. She hasn’t said anything yet though, so who knows. Maybe I’m defective.”

           “You’re not defective!” Nikolai snapped, rubbing the back of Keith’s head. “If anything, she’s the problem then!” He would NOT allow this woman to make Keith feel bad about himself, intentionally or not.

           Keith chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, guess you have a point there. I don’t think she’s bad though, but guess we’ll play it by ear? Or, uh, whatever we have. Still not sure how that works.”

           “Magic.”

           “Yeah, that.”

           Nikolai chuckled, loosening up around Keith. “So… she’s playing DnD with us then?”

           “Yeah. Or, well, we’ll have to work everything out still. She can’t play too late, has to get up early, and I figure maybe we can start a side-campaign with her? If everyone’s down for it.”

           “I’ve been wanting to try some new characters anyways,” Nikolai said. A perfect compromise then. Keith and his person would get a chance to bond over something they apparently both enjoyed, Nikolai wasn’t about to take that away from him. “I should probably apologize to her on that note. I might’ve overreacted…”

           “Nah, you couldn’t have known. I should’ve warned you that I was going to do something stupid,” Keith said with a grin, shrugging. “Whatcha thinking of playing?”

           “I’m considering broadening my horizons some. Getting out there. Maybe a Rogue. Or a Barbarian.” Both were a far cry from the life clerics and paladins he personally preferred, but maybe it’d be fun to do something a little more… destructive.

           Keith whistled, “Daaaaang, you really are looking to branch out. Proud of you Nick.”

           Nikolai straightened up a little, flaring his hood just enough to show off. “Why thank you.”

           “Now c’mon, let’s go say sorry and round up the rest. I sent Hux to look for Liam, that leaves Trousle.”

           Because they all knew Oozy was in his hammock.

[thebadchoicemachine]

Vass Dune (dsmp sona game)

(credit for the ask game) 

@n1ghtangel​ tada

Name/Age/Pronouns?

Name: Vass Dune.  Age: Ambiguous. Young Adult-ish. Pronouns: Any/Same as me. (Favors Vay/Ven/Vir/Virs/Venself - Rae/Ren/Rair/Rairs/Rairself - They/Them/Their/Theirs/Themself)

-

Appearance?

(Generally) (Alt look) (semi-joke doodle) (oops)

Face: Eyes have no iris and pale light blue cat-like pupils. They have black check-like markings and spotted markings around their eyes, dark indigo shade around their eyes. Vir nose is mammal-like. Head: Grey/blue/black ear-fins. They also have bug-antlers (not shown in the picrews). Hair: Vir hair is a desaturated dark purple. It’s very short (nearly buzzed) apart from a tuft in the front and two long strands in the back. There’s dark blue feathers strewn around it’s scalp.  Body: 5′7. Rae have pale grey-purple skin. Has two tails (barbed lion style) and black spotted and check markings on it’s back shoulder blades. They have paw-hooved feet. 

-

Where do they live?

Outskirts/wilderness outside of the Badlands. -

Friends with any canon characters?

Enderwalk Ranboo...? Ghostbur probably checked in for a lot of blue? 

I wanna say Hannah and bbh but I feel so awkward inserting into actual plot with specific CC’s by-the-name characters. It feels too much like y/n fanfiction wich makes me viscerally uncomfortable even if every character involved including mine id technically an oc. 

The eggpire in general is probably very friendly though. Just Vass’ weird neighbors... for now. 

-

Friends with any non-canon characters?

For certain I’m friends with @jack-stanifold-advertising-agent @foolishcaptains and @thecatchat (if she makes one)’s characters. 

-

Do they have a job? 

Growing flowers (and etc.), and selling dyes and dye products. 

How long have they lived in the area?

A little before the Pogtopia War. 

Any pets?

Besides the hundreds of fish they leave in randomly placed fishbowls? A black cat named Greebie and a cream cat named Soup.

Any parents/siblings?

Nope! (Maybe might adopt said friends as one but I have to check)

Backstory?

Rae literally just live in the woods and do odd favors for odd payment. Kind of like a reverse villager. Usually working for chase. Definitely have some kind of unnatural nature connection and will certainly not steal your children. Generally they’re oddly unbothered by the events of the world and are pretty out of the loop. 

Hobbies?

Making underwater bases in the shape of fishbowls or making fishbowls on land. Also making banners. 

Is there a playlist for them?

Yup!

A meme about them?

Vass throughout 80% of the plot

-

Can they fight?

Could they defend their home? Yes. Could vey win in a general pvp? No. No not really. More of a planner. 

-

How many languages can they speak?

just common 

-

Fight, Flight, Flirt, or Freeze?

Freeze but not in the way you might think. Vey are very easy to accept a situation to the point they just let things happen around ren. 

-

DND Alignment?

True Neutral

-

Do they have any secrets?

Despite the fact they are actually very aloof and unobservant vey also use it to cover for themself when they are aware of a situation. Makes things simpler. 

- 

Most prized possession?

A collection every kind of ink and every thing the ink was made of. 

-

Do they know what the end is?

Actually, yes. They know a lot of things. A lot of random things...

[silenceofthecookies]

One piece matchup - lirulee

Giveaway prize for @lirulee​

I’m a 30 y/o woman and I'm interested in men, I'm an ENFJ and a Taurus. I’m short and curvy, with long dark blond hair and green/blue eyes, and lots of freckles. I have a cute/sweet appearance, so i always try to dress more in an elegant/formal way, with darker colors to appear more mature. I’m also a bit insecure about my weight and my smile. I’m honest, stubborn, determined and I always find humor and funny sides to everything. I’m an optimist, everything works out eventually, and I always try to find the good sides of every outcome. I’m very passionate about the things I like, and I’m usually cheerful. I love dad jokes, puns and absurd humor, but I also love cynical and sarcasm. I’m a bit shy at first, but i’m very talkative and i love to get to know more of the people around me. I always try to help those around me (I have to set boundaries for myself here). I’m kind and I care a lot, but I'm also a bit snobbish and very rational. I’m constantly working on improving myself.  I’m a control freak and a worrier tho, so even if I’m cool and I know that everything will work out in the end, I stress a lot about it. (Yeah, idk, I’m like this 🤣). I can be a bit moody and also get melancholic easily. I know myself enough to know how to get out of these states or just get through them, but sometimes I can be a bit difficult. I also have quite a temper, but I’ve learned how to chillax enough to not cut someone’s throat. I love videogames and boardgames/dnd, and ¿do I use my cuteness to win if someone is foolish enough to fall for it? Yes. I don’t usually do it tho, cos i like winning honorably, but if someone is falling for it, it’s their own fault, i haven’t tricked anyone 😈 (that’s what i tell myself... am i more competitive than honorable? Probably). I’m also very into witchy stuff, like tarot, candles, etc. I’m not super methodical tho. I also love fashion and I'm learning to sew. I’m a bit of a scaredy cat, I have some fears, like spiders and heights, and then random things that suddenly scare me, mostly cos I don’t have a sense of control with them or stuff like that. I can’t watch horror movies at all, I have a very strong and vivid imagination and that’d mean I wouldn’t be able to sleep, even if I’m very invested in the psychological side of horror and that tempts me a lot. I like to study people’s motives and personalities. I studied psychology not only to help people, but to understand how they work too. I find it easy to read people and their motives, and know how they’ll probably act. But I can also be very literal and naïve sometimes, it depends a lot on the context. I love reading noir and fantasy novels, I’m a huge nerd of Harry Potter and LOTR, and watching true crimes. I also love romantic novels, and I’m a huge fan of Jane Austen’s. I love doing anything that’s artsy/crafty, I love painting and feeling that I’m creating something (the “I did this” feeling 🙃). My biggest passion and love is music, tho. I’m learning to play the guitar, the piano and to sing, and my goal is to be a music-therapist. I could talk about it for hours, honestly. I’m always singing songs, sometimes very random and funny songs, or even xmas songs in august. My whole life is surrounded by music

I match you with...

Benn and you are like a balance. Wherever one of the two is weaker, the other is stronger. In the beginning Benn will initiate contact and lead the conversation but once you are at ease around him, he will gladly sit back and let you lead the conversation, if not just let you talk about whatever and listen to you. He also loves the elegance and maturity of your style.

Once Benn knows you, he’ll be able to deal with whatever mood you’re in. You’re moody? He won’t take it personally. You’re feeling insecure? He’ll know just what to say or do to make you feel better, or at least to get you to focus on something else. He also greatly respects that you’re aware of your own weaknesses or bad points, and that you’re trying to improve on them. If there’s any way he can help, you need only say the word and he’ll do whatever he can.

Benn is also not afraid to let you have control over things. This can go from little things, like holding on to certain things, to big things, like the relationship. He knows it’ll make you worry just that little less. Just like you, Benn is also optimistic and will always look for the good in every situation.

Despite his laid-back attitude, you and Benn can definitely have some fun! Benn is a master of dad jokes, as well as sarcasm, so there’s no problem in the laughing department. When it comes to music, Benn enjoys most genres. He loves listening to you play or sing. It doesn’t matter if you’re still learning, Benn will gladly listen in and comment on how much you’ve improved every now and again. He doesn’t mind the weird or funny songs either, he’s used to worse antics than a Christmas song in August. If he’s in the mood, Benn will gladly sing along with you while you’re playing the piano.

When it comes to boardgames, Benn is down to play with you as well. Traditional boardgames are totally fine with him and if you let him know you’d like him to join you, you could even convince him to join you on a D&D adventure. He’ll just play whatever is needed for the party, though he’ll create a character pretty close to his own character so he doesn’t have to roleplay too much, since that’s not really his thing.

Now. True crime. Benn loves the stuff just as much as you do. He thinks it’s fascinating to see what people can do, though it’s also a bit sad. He’ll gladly join in on your psychoanalyses. He’s no expert on it, but he enjoys giving his two cents and listening to you build on that.

To top is all off, Benn has a very calming quality. Whenever you’re scared, no matter what it’s from, he’ll talk you through it and he’ll never make fun of you for it, even if he isn’t afraid of much himself.

[dokidokey]

KAMI: 21 questions

summary: kaminari denki does not understand the significance of explaining the song he wrote about his ex-girlfriend, but little did he know, a certain fan needed just his words to lift herself up from her one-week misery.

pairings: kaminari denki x reader

bingo slot: musician x fan au

genre: fluff, slight angst if you squint real hard

warning/s: swearing, mentions of todomomo, mentions of cheating, a very adorable denki (!!!)

word count: 3,042

notes: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS I AM LITERALLY BURSTING DON’T MIND ME IGNORING MY 289384 WIPS BUT I GOTTA DO THIS ONE. anyways, 4th bingo piece for @bnhabookclub’s hero camp bingo! my series masterlist, along with my event masterlist, can be found HERE. what series? this is discontinued (even though it didn’t start in the first place.)

Kaminari is one to always decline media companies’ interviews, most especially, Verified. Verified is a media company that asks artists in to shred their songs lyric by lyric and give its meaning. Kaminari never understood the concept of that. Like, what is the point? Aren’t things more interesting if you leave it be and leave your fans to decipher it how they want?

But here he is, with a yellow backdrop that matches his hair and his manager, who dropped this bomb on him yesterday, on the other end of the room. He never agreed to this. What is the point of prying his song line by line? Wasn’t it obvious enough that it is about his ex-girlfriend who cheated on him?

“But it’s good for you! Plus, the exposure!” Mina, his manager, reasoned out yesterday, the paper in her hands dancing in the air. “Your song is gaining views, Denki. It’s good to take the spotlight while it’s there.”

Denki groaned, throwing his head back. “I know. But explaining the lyrics? Really? Is there any other way?”

Mina rested her hands on her hips, a stern look on her face. “No. Besides, Verified is a big and popular company. You better not be sulking tomorrow.”

He just grumbled as she left his studio. It’s not like she left him a choice.

“You ready?” The man behind the camera asks him, angling to the lens to get a better view of him.

Denki smiles, nodding. Here he is anyway, might as well get it done as soon as possible. When the man in front of him nods, Denki raises his hands in a wave.

“Hi there! It’s KAMI, and here is the official lyrics and meaning of 21 Questions,” he grins and pauses, waiting for the question the Verified employee will ask which will be cut off during editing.

“What is the song about?” The brunette beside the camera man asks.

Denki clasps his hands together. “You know, that feeling in a. . . relationship, when it starts falling apart and there are these－ these questions running around in your head, like why did she do that, how did she do that.” His hands were moving all over the place as he talks, going up in circles beside his head and down to his lap again. “This song. . . It’s－ It’s my inner turmoil.”

He nods to signify the end of his explanation, then goes on to talk about the first verse. “So first we have, I wish there was a situation to be mad at or a person I could blame, which is. . .” Denki trails off, pursing his lips together. “Thinking about, you know, wondering if it’s alright to blame her, or blame me, or blame the other guy. Because, thinking about it, there must be something－ something wrong with me, or there’s something I don’t have that the other guy does, for her to do that.”

Denki hates this. He hates every moment of it. He is literally just opening his sleeve up for the world to see. Some people won’t even care about it. This whole idea of splitting himself open, his heartbreak in all its glory, for people to just shrug off is so pointless.

He continues, nevertheless, because does he even have a choice?

“I’ve got a loud mouth, I’m pale with a ghost obsession but behind the scenes with her I’m playing twenty-one questions,” he sings, slurring the words. “Everyone knows that I talk a lot, okay?” He laughs, the tinkling sound bouncing inside the four walls. “That, and, this one. . . It’s kind of－ It’s saying－ The me I show the world isn’t the same me I face her with. Meaning, like, during the time this was going on, no one would ever guess our relationship was falling apart.”

Reliving the same hurt is hell. He doesn’t understand how Mina can just stand there when she had a front row seat of his pain. There’s an inkling of annoyance and betrayal dancing in Kaminari’s chest, along with a the guilt he’s feeling for feeling that way.

The singer wrings his hands together as he forces himself to spew out what needed to be heard. If they ask him who the song is about, he might just lose his mind. The song cover art’s background is literally Kyouka Jirou’s jacket. Yes, he made it that obvious who the song is about.

“So. . . There’s gotta be a reason you keep your guy in hiding, I’m becoming what I’ve hated but your talk is so inviting. The first line is pretty self-explanatory,” he smiles at the camera, a little wobbly and a little unsure. “I’m becoming what I’ve hated. . . That’s, uh, see, I never liked the fact that she cheated on another man with me and I didn’t know because you know, she told me she was single. I wasn’t aware she was in a relationship and cheating,” he rubs the back of his neck with an uneasy smile. “And now I’m becoming the other man, I’m the one being cheated on, but I can’t do anything about it because she－ well, she’s intoxicating.”

He continues, thrumming his fingers on his jean-clad thigh. “But then what, you drop your guy and take me on, it’s everything I wanted but then what, would you get tired of my time. Hmm,” Denki tilts his head to the side a little, eyes upward. “He left him for me and now would you get tired of my time, of me, of the tours and work and everything. Would you get tired and do the same thing you did to the other man.”

The chorus of the song is next, and a disbelieving chuckle bubbles up his throat. God, he was so fucking whipped for that woman, it kind of throws him off a little now.

“My mood’s dictated by our conversation and if you don’t text, I get too frustrated, I want you all to myself this time. Conflicted looks good on me, I’m trying desperately, I want you all to myself this time,” he sings offhandedly, bobbing his head along the tune of his failed love. “This－ This is an interesting one because I always have my phone on DND,” he shares to the camera like it’s a secret to be well-kept by everyone. “And when she came along I started leaving my phone on ring so I won’t miss any of her texts or calls. It was so unlike me that it kind of scared me a little bit, to be honest.”

Kyouka Jirou was an amazing girl, Kaminari won’t deny that. They got along so well. They wrote songs together over champagne and the dim lights of his studio. They shared kisses behind cameras. They even whispered sweet promises to each other in the void of Denki’s room. Those things happened and she had another man all along.

In the back of his mind, Denki is disgusted. With who, however, he doesn’t know. He’d been kissing his girlfriend who kissed another man. Who is he to know if that was the only thing they ever did.

It was sad, to say the least. Loving someone right under your nose who is loving another man behind your back. It was like Jirou took his heart and ripped it right in front of him, and she made sure to break it so good it would be hard for Kaminari to love again.

“I never have to carefully shape sentences when I have some words to say. They’re falling from my mouth from the time that they hit my brain. I don’t have a brake in my mouth, okay?” He pauses to stare at the camera. “I say whatever I think even before I realize what the fuck I’m saying.”

When Denki sees Mina’s eyes immediately growing wide like saucers at the expletive, he slaps a hand over his mouth. Verified always bleeps out curses and his mind decided to throw that information out the window. “Sorry!” He giggles behind his palm. “See!” He points at the camera. “That is the exact meaning of those lyrics!”

Small giggles are still erupting from the man as he tries to suppress it and get on the next parts. “Will that be cut out? Can we cut that out?” He wheezes as he rubs sweaty palms on denim. “Anyway,” he breathes, puffing his chest up and sitting himself right on the stool. “’Cause we built a picture made for frames, we live in chemistry away from all the wasted time and taste.”

Denki’s mind paddles back to a late night writing session with his former girlfriend, the other half of his sandwich long forgotten as he stared at the girl, who seems like the whole world to him as she scribbles word after word on the ripped piece of paper she snatched up somewhere on his messy table. He swears there are stars twinkling in the background whenever he catches sight of her, and it makes his little heart swell with pride as he softly tells her promises of their future together.

“We were too perfect,” Denki says, clicking his tongue after as if in disappointment. “We were. . . wrapped up in our own world. Or maybe I was the only one wrapped up in something that was. . .” He falters, heart aching at the thought of the promises that are nothing now.

He covers it up with a smile, eyes crinkling at the sides as he let his hands rest on the back of the stool. “And it sucks to sleep ’cause you aren’t talking to me. I wanna give you space but the amount between us is wrecking me.” Kaminari squints as he hums, tilting his head back and groaning softly. “So, this one. . . This is where we were nearing the end and the communication was so bad even though that was the only thing I wanted to somehow still fix what was left of our relationship, but she didn’t want that. We were already light-years away from each other, what was I supposed to do?” He lifts one hand up in a “what?” motion and crumples his eyebrows together.

He slurs out the next lyrics. “’Cause then what, you dropped your guy and took me on it’s everything I wanted but then what, am I in his position now?” He claps his hands like he just discovered something big. “This! Am I in the position of the other guy before me? Like, am I now in his place? Will you leave me for the guy you. . . cheated on me with.”

Kaminari then goofily positions his arms as if holding a guitar, and starts strumming the air while bobbing his head side to side. “I’ll forget you if you need me to, like nothing ever happened. My sun still sets without you, like nothing ever happened.” His smile is glowing as he stretches his arms wide. “I can forget, and I will,” he looks determinedly at the camera. “And I will get on with my life and do the things I love and every day would be a happier day for me,” he grins. “Even without you.”

Denki doesn’t realize that little slip up of acknowledging her as he waves goodbye, a sliver of something heavy lifting off his shoulders.

It’s another boring Sunday for you as you snuggle your blanket on the couch, the show on the TV serving to be just white noise as you go over your last texts with your ex-boyfriend.

It has been a week since your break up with Shouto and you’re still moping. He calmly explained to you how your relationship wasn’t working out anymore and that he started having feelings for a friend. In spite, you replied with “I wasn’t aware our relationship had gym schedules.” And that was the end of it.

You groan at your stupidity. If you weren’t so caught up in your jealousy, you could have talked to him a little nicer, a little calmer. But you knew who that friend he was pertaining to. Yaoyorozu Momo, the girl who always seems to be around your boyfriend. She’s a meek girl, and even before you and Shouto got together, she had been around. So, Yaoyorozu was there before you.

There are times when you and Shouto are out and she would happen to be at the same place. At first, you didn’t pay any mind, but when it got more frequent, you had your suspicions. What’s worse is that whenever she’s around, she’ll just smile at you and that’s that. She’ll pretend like you’re not standing right next to your boyfriend and like you didn’t exist. It made you feel small.

You’re loud and, at times, obnoxious. You are aware of how much attention you catch because of your brazen attitude. It really was a mystery how Todoroki liked you. You two were so different. He was more on the likes of Yaoyorozu, and thinking about it, they were so much more alike that it’s ridiculous. Yaoyorozu’s a rich girl, and so is Shouto. Their auras are the same and they give off the same vibes. Those are what really pulled at your insecurity.

And see, it didn’t take long for Todoroki to realize he didn’t belong with you. You loved him, yes, and you thought maybe you’d last forever. But now, seeing how it all ended, you want to laugh at the face of your past self for thinking such absurd things. Of course it wouldn’t last. Maybe you were too much for Todoroki.

The bubbling insecurities inside you is just starting up when there’s a ping from your phone and you groan, thinking it’s Hitoshi again because he’s been pestering you for the past week to actually get up and be productive. But no, it isn’t your friend. It’s a notification for the latest tweet of your favorite artist, KAMI, and you almost fall off the couch when you read it.

10 minutes til @Verified drops my official lyrics and meaning vid for 21 questions! Stay tuned!

Fuck, what the fuck? Official lyrics and meaning? The four walls of your room are the witnesses to how much you cried to that song after your break up. Some lyrics were so relatable but you’re relieved you didn’t experience the cheating part. It must suck for Kaminari to have his girlfriend of over a year cheat on him.

After several, consecutive refreshes, the new video pops up and you let out a little scream because on the thumbnail is Kaminari Denki himself, clad in a white shirt and leather jacket. You click play and a giggling Kaminari is on your screen, saying, “Will that be cut out? Can we cut that out?” Then it’s the usual intro of Verified.

Kaminari is waving and introducing himself with a huge smile on his face. You admire your favorite artist through the screen and wonder when he will hold a meet and greet. I’m manifesting, you think, as you position yourself more comfortably in your couch.

“This song. . . It’s－ It’s my inner turmoil.” Huh. You’re not surprised. Songs written and sang with so much emotion strikes the listeners way harder than any other song. And the fact that Kaminari wrote it with his heart up his sleeves, the song meant a lot more to you.

As he goes on explaining every line, every lyric, you can’t help the same hurt blooming on your chest again. Everything he’s saying stabs right at your heart. Every word, though different in context when it comes to you, is like a kick to your chest. 21 Questions never felt so much like home right this moment.

“I never have to carefully shape sentences when I have some words to say. They’re falling from my mouth from the time that they hit my brain. I don’t have a brake in my mouth, okay?” There’s a pause and an intense stare at the camera. “I say whatever I think even before I realize what the － I’m saying.”

There’s a bleep and your heart almost bursts at the absolute cuteness when he instantly covered his mouth and his giggles sift through your phone’s speakers. So this is where the first clip on the video is from, when he asked if they can cut it out. But no matter how adorable his giggles were, Kaminari’s words are banging its way into your head.

“We were too perfect. We were. . . too wrapped up in our own world. Or maybe I was the only one wrapped up in something that was. . .” His sentence is left unfinished, but you felt it in your bones. It’s like a slap to the face. Yeah. Maybe he’s right. Maybe you were the only one wrapped up, maybe you were the only one attached. It seemed too good to be true, and you were so high up you didn’t realize Todoroki had gone down and Yaoyorozu was there to catch him.

You aren’t prepared for the next part though, because the man decided it was okay － totally fine! － to lean back and bare his whole neck while groaning － groaning! Any other human being will not survive this. What is he doing. You’re seconds away from hyperventilating as you double tap to replay that certain part. He wants you all dead. Yes. That must be it.

The video is close to ending, and as Kaminari says his last words, it tickles something awake in your heartbroken state.

“I can forget. And I will! And I will get on with my life and do the things I love and every day would be a happier day for me. Even without you.”

Even without Shouto, you’ll get by. Your world doesn’t revolve around him. There’s a lot of things you can do without invalidating your heartbreak, and maybe you’ll hold on to Kaminari’s words. Every day would be a happier day for me. It’s another thing you’re manifesting on, along with that meet and greet of Kaminari.

more notes: yes this is based off waterparks’s 21 questions pLEASE I FEEL LIKE AWSTEN’S CHAOTIC ENERGY IS A DIRECT COPY OF THE ONE KAMINARI EXUDES SO THIS IS PERFECT. anyways this series’ titles are going to be a bunch of waterparks songs.

[overclockedroulette]

so One person responded to my post actually?? interested in my ocs?? which i didn't know was a thing that could happen but anyway you know who you are tyty for giving me an excuse i will now talk for far too long

okay. okay so since i'm a dm and i do not sleep, there's. a lot of worldbuilding and interconnected plotlines. i'm gonna talk about SPECIFICALLY one part of the lore to avoid having this post be way too long. so i'm gonna talk about Redglass. because it's fun.

(yes i am aware that my place names are Bad As Hell. i created them a long time ago and my pcs won't let me change them.)

So Redglass is a country run by absolute monarchy, with certain theological aspects in that the royal family is a long line of aasimar and, historically, devout disciples of Selûne. Subsequently, the church has a little more influence than it does in other places, and many of the inhabitants are generally religious.

The reigning queen - Anastasia Kiriatta - gives birth to a pair of twins (Aritian and Fabrica), who will eventually be heirs to the throne.

(Three years later, another child is born, named Orion. I'll probably make another post about him because he has some lore that's uh. a little more complex. I'll explain later.)

Aritian is the DEFINITION of gifted kid syndrome. He excels in his studies (particularly swordfighting), takes on a myriad of hobbies, and can be quite self-aggrandising (which is absolutely NOT a front for his deep-seated fear of failure, nosiree not at all). He's also set up to be the next in line once Queen Anastasia dies.

(and he's promised in marriage to Princess Azariah of Redwood, in a neighbouring continent. which would be fine if they weren't both gay as hell and if Azariah wasn't mid-romantic affair with their royal bard.)

Fabrica is smart. Probably smarter than Aritian, not that he would ever admit it. But she's quiet, and spends most of her time in the library alone. It would be a lie to say she doesn't resent Aritian for getting more attention than her. Which would be fine if it weren't for the fact that she also has a habit of light arson, and he ends up burned every time they argue. Which is a lot.

Aritian is crowned king at 22, when Anastasia is killed on an embassy to Hasar. Because he's? young? the public continues to refer to him as Prince Aritian, and sometimes as 'the child king'. And he's a half-decent ruler (albeit mostly just a figurehead, because he's very easy to manipulate) until Fabrica does something about it.

By this point, Fabrica hates her brother. She thinks he's a bad ruler, that she could do better, and that the whole situation is unfair. So she does something about it. She spends months and months spreading rumours (and sometimes lies) to the people, and - five years into his rule - stages a rebellion and has him executed. Burnt at the stake, to be precise. Of course, he survives (escapes before the fire does him any irreperable damage) but nonetheless he has to flee the country, and now Fabrica is the queen. And she is anything but a figurehead.

((IF YOU'RE IN MY DND PARTY DON'T READ AHEAD looking at you scotty))

She doesn't care very much about the religious side of things. But nonetheless, she does appeal very heavily to the 'chosen by the gods' aspect, and keeps the church happy by putting up a public front. Although, the most notable thing she's done (as of present time) is literally drugging the water supply.

(okay maybe not actually drugging because this is dnd. more likely some sort of specialised poison. magic n shit)

She works with a research organisation named Aubilon - more specifically, a scientist who calls himself Avarice (i'm allowed to be obvious with names, i'm a dm) - to create a substance that can keep the citizenry happy and compliant. She also closes the borders. Nobody can get in and nobody can get out. Because if they could, they would notice how weirdly the citizens speak, or how they don't remember how long they've lived there, or how they don't know why they live there.

There are some side effects, sure. But it's not like the general population is coherent enough to notice.

((you know what just. just tell me if i should make more of these. i have so much unused lore.))

[unikornu]

Alright! Finally got time again to shoot you some questions for the ask meme. For Lucy: A1, 2, 9, 14, 24. B1, 13, 16. C3, 4, 6. D2, 3. E2, 4. F2, 5, 10. G2. H1, 6, 8. I1. L2, 4, 9. Also for Harrison, finally someone who can use the K questions... K1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10?

Hell yeah long post coming and i’m so happy with the K section,

Lucy: 

A1. What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

I actually took a test thinking how she would answer and i think i got it perfectly right. I wouldn’t pick it better just by reading all of them i think. She came out as Turbulent Entrepreneur (ESTP-T) which feels ok. “ Rules were made to be broken” - hell they were. Also “ If Entrepreneurs aren’t careful though, they may get too caught in the moment, take things too far, and run roughshod over more sensitive people, or forget to take care of their own health and safety.“

Judging by her action and the way of living she is like that. Going all the way, having hard time just by staying idle and ohh yee taking things too far without thinking of consequences. Like chasing an enemy and realizing she left her support far in the back and then dealing with difficulties by herself. Constantly going careless in combat, forgetting her own safety, thinking she will make it anyway but it comes back biting her in the ass. 

Also she is not smart but she can see minor hidden things, be it while cracking some password on terminal or spotting who in the crowd wants to stab her in the back just by the change of their face expression so she might be stupid but still outsmart some folks and mechanics out there and that fits with the nature of the job she had before the war. 

A2. What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera…

I never played DnD games and so on so this one is hard but Neutral Evil - she is aware of her being on the bad side of a coin and is willing to do whatever it takes to make her wishes come true even if it means killing someone but she still have some self restrains and won’t go against the allies she is currently working with and friends she made on the way and of course innocent creatures. She has some base etiquette rules and isn't rotten to the bone but when she wants something nothing will stop her no matter the cost as long as it doesn’t strike her out of the game of harms current company. She is bad but not for sake of doing evil shit or proving something but just to do what she wants and get what she wants even if blood will spill. 

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others? 

She will sure make a lot of excuses for herself after fucking shit up or going way too ahead in combat. But only for herself. She is the type of pointing finger at others while tugging and biting her tongue just not to admit she wronged someone or something and avoid too many questions or yelling at. 

A14. Is your character empathetic?

Despite being a bitch she is empathetic. But might show it a bit differently...like in a page i wrote for Halloween with that bunny mask. She didn’t chop that man only because he grabbed her ass but because he was using many other women poor financial situation just to have some easy sexy time and she did feel bad for them so...her empathy stroke in a solution of killing him instead of only knocking him out and caging. If someone would harass Lizzie or...i dunno Hector, someone she considers slightly weaker at standing up for themselves and is in her “social” circle or society part then she will show empathy by stabbing those who bother them with a fork in a eye, a bit extreme but that’s how she understands empathy. Someone is chaining and kicking a dog at settlement? She will chain that man onto the bridge and let him hang and die slowly and take a dog in Pack care. Gage complains that his gun got broken in a fight and can sense some sadness, she will run for a stealing caps heist to buy new one. So...she feels empathy but her answer to it can be...well unusual, brutal and extreme.

A24. What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

Type of question i hope i understood correctly :)) 

Fear of failing to deliver is her biggest personal obstacle. She was always scared, since childhood to fail at meeting certain expectations, be in it school for her mother who would change her mind bazillion times due to mental illness, then Harrison and fear of his eventual punishment mixed with mental abuse if she doesn’t carry her mission to the end, with Ian it was fear of failing at being the good loving partner due to her secrets and then comes whole town of raiders with Gage on top who have expectations of her and promise of certain small paradise if she delivers but...these fears always pushes her into actions more than she has to and it exhaust her mentally and can sometimes prove deadly, ending up in injuries that could have been avoided. She is aware of this but because it carried through her whole life its unavoidable. 

Also she doesn’t interact much with a friendly society groups because even if she knows she is bad its not something she actually likes to hear. Coming to a small town just with intentions to have a drink and imagining that people will only show her a pistol barrel and tell her to fuck off because she is from within raider circle fills her with doubt so strong she just tends to avoid this kind of meetings.

How was the saying: “Don't tell a psychopath they're a psychopath, it upsets them” and she will get deeply upset. 

B1. Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?

Get respect to give it. She doesn’t trust that people will respect her back if she puts effort so she won’t show respect even to great president of whatever wastes because she also doesn’t care if someone respect her but if they pull a hand out first she will shake it back. Her life is too risky and careless to think about gaining someone’s respect first. 

B13. Do they have a large or small group of friends?

If she would consider all nuka town her friends then its big but...nope, small group. Its mostly Gage (even if they are partners they can be friends too), Lizzie, William, well...Mags too and along with that Mason later on once she gets his loyality and a few traders from which she keep connections with Maddox, Chip and Shelbie. From Far Harbor for sure Allan would be easy to gain as a friend. Longfellow is just a friend grandad <3. Harrison cannot be questioned, too scary to reject him. From Commonwealth i can’t yet get idea where she could get the best friend circle. Well aside from that whatever other oc’s out there who accept her bitchiness and way of being :)) but i don’t think she would make many friends out there, she is...well plain simple and dangerous.

B16. Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?

Definitely in the center of attention, since she couldn’t be back then. Now that crime and killing is fully legal and there is no police chase other than some disgusted by her behavior minutemen she can be a in the center of a show and she likes it. A circus ring leader, hell yeah...well raiders can be clowns too from time to time. And let’s not start with parties and free time. She’s the first to get up on table to dance. It gets her a bit to realize things she can get away with but once she does she only misses there is no spotlight at the end of the fight, shining on her.

C3. Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own?

Major indeloghit....tents what? Good lord, i swear i’m too stupid for these kind of words but good i keep the dictionary close to me, right in the next tab.

Big yes. It’s not many people like her out there and she doesn’t want to flip her coin back to being good and peaceful towards rules of the world, she simply isn’t able to mentally change back anymore so in order to keep feeling like she still has a hole to belong to she needs to spend time with people like her to also boost her confidence that she isn’t the only one with broken mind out there seeking completion of her wishes through darker path. And knowing so isn’t leaving her in fear she will need to change her ways of life. 

C4. Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?

No. Even is she is the Overboss she rather rejects that title and prefers to be just a business partner with Gage. She doesn’t seek and need to feel important or superior, she only wants to feel useful around people she decided to blend in with and have a purpose, nothing else. The fact that she can strike orders around doesn’t fill her heart nor mind with some higher importance or value above other. Also she doesn’t considers her enemies lesser even knowing her skills, its just bad approach that can easily get one killed and she prefers stays on a same line with others. Be it friends or foes.

C6. What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so?

Depends in what state that person is, she was the liar herself so she can spot one if its an actual person in need or just lazy poor soul. She will usually tho just toss a few caps and walk away without listening or hearing more from that person. She doesn’t want to struggle with a morality remaining deep in her brain if she did right or not so she will just deal with it fast and walk away, telling them to fuck off if they will follow her. These kind of people are like those annoying reminders in a shape of beggar poking her and making think if she still has some pure humanity left so...she wants to be just done with that part. But animal coming up to her is a different deal, here humanity will always strike unless its a seagull stealing her meal, then her humanity part will shrink and there will be a rock thrown in the air after that birb, as a survival contest. 

D2. Do they believe in an afterlife?

She never gave it a longer thought. She cares about here and now but if she would meet someone knowledgeable in that topic she would be willing to open her ears for few minutes longer and put the knife down. She doesn’t rejects religious topics as long as someone is not brushing a saint books or whatever right in her face. She has an open mind on more than just a mortal topics mostly because of Harrison. 

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

She wasn’t scared of death before the bombs and when wandering through wasteland because she just didn’t care for her life and maybe that’s what made her most effective but this changed once she realized she can finally live a life she secretly wanted but was restricted before. Her strong desire of finally rejecting the dying part is what caused certain being to finally break away from her ;> well i wrote about it in last page so yassss

E2. Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)

The strongest is surely the Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence, she was trained to the bone and with her careless nature she is mostly depended on her physical skills and putting them into perfect timing. Even if she got a bit rusty after bombs the return of Harrison will bring her back into the right gears of phasing like speed and combat thinking. 

Weakest could be probably the Intra-personal Intelligence mostly because even if she understand her actions she isn’t very good at analyzing it any deeper other than “i want that man’s money cus i want that”, i guess....i could describe it like that. I cant really get any deeper or more detailed into this because there is for sure one thing i share with Lucy....we are simple minded simpletons but..i might be a bigger one :)))

E4. Did they enjoy school if they went to it?

At the beginning she didn’t enjoy any school as other students would consider her a weirdo because of her mother which would sometimes show up, uncalled at school and act really weird but later when she decided to stand up for herself after meeting Harrison as a kid ....others in school didn’t enjoy that change as much as she became seen as a pretty bully girl being overly extreme into serving “justice”. The only classes she enjoyed tho were gym and biology ones as she wasn’t scared to cut a frog but others seeing her just chopping it like a piece of ham could...weighted on her reputation. Also she always joined like a sport/cheerleader groups to have less problems with teachers as it was bringing school good reputation and she was fairly flexible and with high stamina so it was also easy for her. So from being bullied she became popular bully girl of sort. She got hooked on law later on because she wanted indeed to serve some justice, in a peaceful manner at start. So all in all she didn’t enjoy school at start but then she didn’t mind it as she took business in her hands, a bit over the edge but well...bully with some feelings eh? I don’t have many details as to what exact type of school she would go but another reason she would enjoy sitting at school once she became the one in charge is to spend less time at home with her confusing mother so she would be staying late for some extra gym trainings, sweating her emotions off.

F2. What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?

In Porter’s rough, dirty yet soft heart stuffed in his sweaty smelly top.

She can call Fizztop an ideal home of sort. The weather in Nuka World strikes her preferences and even since she was strolling with Harrison from time to time there before the war she just loved that place and beside the first deadly visit there they made a good memories there, father and daughter like. She prefers her home to be placed inside the town as she hates sleeping in open spaces even if its a single house on top of a hill. She just feels too lonely and insecure. It’s weird to say that but she feels safer to sleep in a town filled with raiders than alone in the wild.  

F5. How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?

Fairly handy but on a level of fixing a broken car mirror with a duck tape or just gluing shit together hoping it will hold long enough before it breaks again. If she would fix a door handle it would most probably end up upside down on the other side of the door. And if shit breaks again...she will just shrug and glue it same way again or at least add one more layer of duck tape. Sometimes she will try to convince herself she knows what wire to put where when it comes to electric appliances but she only knows cars and car still ain’t a toaster so....electric shortage and fizzy hair incoming. She needed a manual on shoving a cable inside a robot so yeah. But when it comes to fixing clothes she is as good as with cars. Even if some parts can be similar like in car engine of sort she still has hard time to connect the dots if seeing something like half similar. So give her a broken car/truck/any clothing she will swing a wrench or needle and fix that shit in no time but hand her a tv pilot or spoken toaster and she will just look at it and ponder..deeply.  

F10. Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?

Arts...with her only painting comes to my mind but not like painting a landscape but more things like a car painting, pack faces and more abstract stuff which she learned again in Sapphire club with Rosey due to many events that were having certain themes so they needed to do body paints and so on.

I don’t know if dancing is any kind of art but i can imagine her discovering that pole dance but on a level of these sport like competitions. Lucy is flexible and has enough strength to try to perform this kind of stuff since from already school times she was doing a lot of gym and sport in general.

As to how good she would be at these probably not like perfectly good to very details because even she doesn’t have need to be horribly good. Needs to be good enough to just make her happy and she doesn’t have high standards in these topics. I dunno why i found that question slightly tricky....

G2. Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?

The only family she had was her mother since her father left once he could no longer bear with her mental issues and bringing stranger men to house and then getting pregnant with her. I didn’t build up yet like a bigger family tree but..yeah it was just her mother and her most of the time. 

H1. What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

She is 100% heterosexual when it comes to her orientation both romantic and sexual. She can flirt with same sex but that would only include situations when she needs to finish her job or reach some other goal, no feelings involved whatsoever. 

H6. Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?

She didn’t catch Ian neither Gage to cheat on her. She tends to flirt with other men like William but wouldn’t take it as far as to sleep with him or do it on purpose to hurt her partner feelings so...she doesn’t cheat. She still has SOME backbone. 

H8. What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?

She doesn’t have high needs when it comes to perfect date topic. As long as it involves alone time together without additional crowd and some beer she doesn’t care if they sit in a fancy bar or on some building stairs. Perfect date is any that includes relaxed talk, joking, alcohol and a happy ending in bed together. Extra points for bringing her nicely cut flower. Despite being bully, killer and involved with raiders she was looking at late evenings at these white/grey romantic movies where couples were just doing simple things, walking late night together and so on, so her perfect date ain’t complicated. 

I1. What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?

As long as its not slimey and gooey like she’s okay. If something of mentioned above would slip into her food she will just puke it out instantly. She prefers salty and sweet tho as her pre-war diet was mostly like so. Salted hard boiled eggs with grilled tatos topped with pinch of salt again and then 200 years old cotton candy for dessert or potato crisps. She eats meat too but like fried till its crunchy. 

L2. What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

Brain error so i hope i understood this right:

Leaning into the evil side of the society fully confident it’s the only and last right choice to achieve true happiness and satisfy the already croocked mind. 

L4. Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

In my real life probably yes but even i would be slightly nervous around her because she tends to bend towards very extreme solutions if some problems would arise or someone would make me angry (due to her empathy) but in fallout universe hell yeah, i’m just not sure i would be in a physical capability to keep up with her but i wouldn’t mind to get a legendary cane..along with it...But yeah, i would like to hang out for a beer and see her beat some stupid folks and maybe give a her a friendly hug to remind her she isn’t that bad and she will be fine....and apologize for burning her hands lol. If she would find out i’m her creator..oh boy, i’m sure she would beat me with my own cane over the head. 

L9. How did you come up with your OC?

I had different OC design before but she was actually just a general good joking hero, she even had a brother but that got lost later on and that male oc was left just for MMO’s as an additional character. Then a lot of things happened in my life and because i was gaming since early childhood like Norton times and..the pixelated Blizzard Blackthorne it also affected my rpg and game choices in general, like whole way of thinking since gaming was and is big part of my life. I was curious what would happen if i take my oc through the mental change grinder and push it to the edge, towards losing the patience for justice systems and add a pinch of evil mixed with some trauma to give her some reason to choose that path. And there she is. Her face features didn’t change much, neither body type and so on but her mentality is hell of a different and i just...love her. She isn’t perfect, neither that horribly bad but i’m very pleased with how she came out. I threw a glove and was done with playing hero at some point because of life experiences and she came out of my cauldron as a best way to peacefully calm down. As for Harrison he was suppose to be just a small mention in pre-war diary but for some reason my brain pushed it forward and i really don’t mind him as an extra OC. Besides Lucy needs someone to watch over her. 

Allllrighty, Harrison time:

K1. Does your OC have to keep their paranormal aspect (PA) a secret from general society? If so, how? I.e., they can’t discuss their abilities, they have to hide a tail, they have an alter-ego, et cetera. What would happen if society found out about it?

Yes, he has to hide his powers. He is one of a kind and experiment never got finished so his powers are something no one seen before. I’m sure that lab is still buried somewhere near Sanctuary deep in forests containing old data and so on but the place got abandoned and no one found it yet. I can imagine tho that the cryo vault could have been like a last remaining section cut off from the rest as it also was touching a subject of immortality...i mean..a way of not aging. Usually the green smoke will always rise from his body and eyes at times so he prefers to hide his face under the hat and keep fully covered body with that long brown coat and thick gloves. Also he doesn’t look very friendly so it helps him keep folks at distance before they notice something unusual. I can’t imagine how people would react if they knew about his powers but they for sure would be just wary and scared i think. And all in all he has a synth skeleton so more hate from most of the Commonwealth population. He also needs to keep his emotions at check as his powers are driven by a strong sense of desire so if he would really really want to harm someone he would have harder time at controlling his powers before they snap. That’s why he is always so...stoic and calm.     

K3. Does your OC have any friends who know about their PA? Any enemies?

Lucy suspected before and she has a memory from childhood, then she finds out herself on a go and Gage also knows because he was present during the event. Later on she tells Lizzie and Chip Morse because she needs help to repair his synth broken body due to how the...separation came out. Harrison doesn’t tell anyone else unless its necessary. The only enemy out there would be the lead scientist if he somehow survived the bombs and is still out there, looking for him. 

Also...i didn’t mean to make it like that but its just how it came out due to most...common and fast thought design. That lead scientist had grey hair and wore a black mask on half of his face....and that would make the air even more rotten between...someone particular out there :)) 

K5. Does your OC feel isolated or unrelatable due to the experience their PA brings with it? If so, how do they deal with it?

He does feel lonely since he is too afraid to meet new people or even spend too much time in a bar. He would mostly stick to lone table in a corner, being too afraid on not controlling his powers if his mind and emotions lose breaks. He was a family man, not perfect father but still, getting that taken away and changing your life 180 degrees can sometimes upset him and the only way to cool down is just to stick to people he can trust which is Lucy and her gang. Its his only family now. He doesn’t push away the idea of trying again, meeting a woman, making a family, being a better father but is just too scared of that. Also he doesn’t need much sleep as normal person so...this doesn’t help him either.   

K6. Does their PA cause issues in daily life? I.e., if they’re inhuman in a human universe and they can’t go to a doctor or risk the doctor realizing they are not human, super abilities with physical drawbacks, they don’t have control of their abilities and must keep to themselves, et cetera… If so, how do they feel about it?

It causes him a lot of issues. Despite hot weather he still needs to keep his clothes on to not reveal the power radiating from him. His hat always in crowds, even inside the buildings to not risk shining with his eyes too much. Shades can help tho at times. But people might find it weird, accuse him of being another synth and attack him and that would cause more problems because if he snaps people will see his powers. He needs to keep his head low all the time and just act as a shady dangerous mercenary, out of unnecessary questions and troubles.

K7.Does your OC’s PA affect their dietary habits so that they are unusual or problematic by their society’s standards?

Even if he actually doesn’t need to eat he still will because he isn’t fully synth but just himself in a form of soul trapped in such a body. His eating habits are still the same as they were but..he might overdo his craving at times...eating like a kilograms of food just because he remembered it was his favorite and he wants it now and he will feel the taste and satisfaction but because his stomach isn’t human he doesn’t feel when he is full so....yeah. Eating whole cart of cotton candy at one go. It might feel weird to people who don’t know him but he is a big man so they might assume it’s maybe because of his size...and just being freaking hungry.

K8. What are some routines, if any, of self-care that your OC must engage in that are not typical of their society? I.e., having to file their teeth, maintaining magical rituals, drinking blood…

He needs to meditate like a lot to keep his powers better contained and controlled since they sync with his mindset.. Sometimes he will do it for hours, be it standing, siting, he will just disconnect and meditate.

K9. Does your OC have knowledge that they can’t share with the rest of their world that could improve it if it didn’t cause chaos? I.e., a character from the future knowing about technology not yet invented, but they can’t reveal themselves by sharing it

He is the only one knowing the location of the lab but he keeps that knowledge only to Lucy. He can’t imagine what could happen if they would create armies of....entities like him. Being able to inject soul from body to body could solve a lot of health like issues and give a hell of disabled people new chance but you can never know what direction this could go. 

K10. Would your OC give up their PA if they could? Why or why not?

Even if it ruined his life he wouldn’t give it up. He lost his family not because of who she became but because he was fucking irresponsible by taking his son to work and killing them both. His wife was furious and refused to take him home again even if she was freshly pregnant that time. His powers allowed him to protect her anyway without her knowledge and because he is at age he is, these powers still keep him as a extremely dangerous man able to fight. Even if giving it up could give him a better chance of starting a family again he prefers to be able to protect these that are still left in his life than failing or die trying. So he is over the grief and learned to live with how he is, accepting his powers and putting them to good use. 

[monstersandmaw]

Patreon Tier Reshuffle in February and General 2020 Developments...

I gave my Patrons first look at this post, since some of the changes will affect their tiers (only to add content though!). Now I’m posting most of it to Tumblr for you to look at and perhaps have a think about...

It’s a long post, and I’m sorry for that...

First of all, I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who’s supporting me on Patreon, whether you’re a long-time supporter or you just joined. I know it's a big deal to give your heard-earned cash to someone on the internet and am well aware of the responsibility I have and what an honour it is to be on the receiving end of your generosity and support. So, yes. Thank you more than I can probably ever express.

Secondly, a reminder that all tiers have access to our chilled out Discord server forever. We’ve got a channel for sharing photos of pets, for general chat, for monsters, for sharing artwork of all kinds, a library to share your own stories, an nsfw chat, recipes etc., so hopefully there’s something for everyone, but there’s no pressure to be active if you’d rather not be! There’s also an ongoing DnD game with some of the folks on there too, which is fun!

It might be worth joining the server anyway because I have plans for a new perk which will involve Discord (see below), and I also occasionally run ‘Discord Drabbles’ where I ask for prompts on Discord from folks, which you might have seen posted on Patreon from time to time.  

Now, finally, round to the topic of this post!

I’ve been thinking about how to make sure that every tier gets the most that I can give them for their money, so I’m going to do a little reshuffle. It will start in February, and I’ve made sure that I’m pretty much just adding stuff to each tier, so you won’t miss out in the reshuffle.  

Here are the new things I’m running only on Patreon from February 2020 in addition to everything else (see below):  

Sculpt This!

Patrons can submit artwork or detailed descriptions (a creature/monster, a character, an object) to a designated ‘Sculpt This!’ channel on Discord, and I will pick one to sculpt once a month. I will create a post on Patreon with the artwork and the artist’s name (and a link to their page/site if they have one, and photos of my final sculpture based on their design. That will be available to everyone from the $1 tier upwards.  

For those on the $5 tier upwards, a short video will be available, featuring footage of the sculpting process itself.  

If the person whose art I use is on the $20 tier or upwards, I will post them the sculpture if they’d like it. 

Trope Tuesdays!

A poll will go up prior to Tuesday, with a list of common tropes (notably from the world of fanfic – things like ‘coffee shop’, ‘bed-sharing’, ‘enemies to lovers’, ‘5 times +1’ etc. etc.) and the winning trope from that poll will be the theme for a short story to be posted on a Tuesday.  

I’m aiming for these short stories to be a variety of fluffy and steamy, available to everyone from the $1 tier up.  

Character Letters

$10 and up patrons can request a letter once a month from their favourite characters from any of my stories (providing I wasn’t using someone else's OC for a commission or the like). This can be sent as a PDF by email and/or posted publicly to Patreon only (not Tumblr), with the option to remove the name if you’d rather remain anonymous.  

$20 and up patrons can request a hand-written letter once a month from their favourite character, again with the option to have the text posted to Patreon or not, and with their name, or not.  

Commissions 

I'm still in two minds about opening these up on here because I got absolutely exhausted – mentally and physically – at the end of 2019 and I’m only just recharging again. I had said I would open them up to patrons only in January 2020, and I may yet do that. If I do, I will create 5 slots, and a maximum of 5k words per story initially, and see how that goes. I realise that’s a small number of slots, but it’s still a lot of work for me on top of the rest of the Patreon commitments. I hope you understand, but I know a number of you responded in a poll to say you’d be interested in commissions from me again.

$10 patrons receive 5% off the first 5000 words of writing commissions, and $20 receive 10% off the first 5000 words of commissions.  

Continuing rewards:  

Monthly story – the monthly exclusive story will still be available for $5 and up (some of these stories have been known to go up to 10k words and be in multiple parts – think Kieran the satyr’s story from October 2018!)

Early release – I will continue to offer all Tumblr stories (except paid commissions from non-patrons and giveaways/specials) on early release – minimum of 4 days, sometimes longer.  

Polls – help me decide what to write next

Character bios and artwork

Future things I hope to bring in later this year:

Gaming with Ghosti

I hope to do some streaming via Twitch of me playing things either on the PS4 (like Assassin’s Creed Odyssey or we could do a special Dragon Age: Inquisition playthrough together), or from PC which could include a number of games, from Witcher III (I still haven’t played much) to Mass Effect, chilled out Minecraft sessions, and a huge number of other games which you could choose to inflict on me and watch me flail around in.

Hopefully Mr. Ghosti could join in too and laugh along with you and just generally have a chilled out time. This would probably happen at the weekend, but I’d have to look into the logistics of it if there’s enough interest.  

Discount for Patrons on my Etsy shop

It’s actually live right now, but I haven’t got anything listed yet as I’m unsure of the last few things I need to get in place, but once I’ve got things up on there, I’ll make an announcement and give patrons a special discount code to use in case there’s anything you’d like to buy, from jewellery to polymer clay charms/sculptures.  

More Q&A type things and video content

Some of you seemed to enjoy the video I did answering your questions, so I could always do more of this, if there are things you’d like to ask! It could be about anything, not just writing. If there’s interest, I’ll look into it.

More milestone giveaways and mystery ‘lucky dip’ giveaways

I love sharing things with you, so when I hit 200 patrons, I’ll have to think up something special, and in the meantime, maybe I’ll do some more giveaways for you.

If there’s something that you would like to see that you think I could put up on Patreon for you, then please get in touch! I’m always looking for ideas

All tier rewards will be as follows from February 2020:

Brand new items in bold, and slight changes in italics:

(putting in a ‘keep reading’ because it’s getting silly now...)

Shadows:  

access to the Patreon-only Discord

access to the ‘Trope Tuesdays’ poll and story

access to the ‘Sculpt This!’ posts

access to some character profiles, aesthetics, polls, and story ideas

small discount on my etsy store (when it opens)

and my undying gratitude!

Pixies and Goblins – all of the above, plus:

one Patreon-exclusive monster story per month

access to the ‘Sculpt This!’ process video

access to the extra, long-running story, released once a month (Werewolf story - coming soon!)

early access for all Tumblr monster stories (excluding paid commissions)

the ‘what’s next?’ poll to help me decide what monster or reader to write

Elves – all of the above, plus:

you can request a letter once a month from your favourite character of mine! This can be sent as a PDF by email and/or posted publicly to Patreon only, with the option to remove the name if you’d rather remain anonymous.

entry into the monthly 3k word story commission – if you are chosen (at random) from the Elves tier (and above) you can have a 3k word story of your choosing written for you

access to ��Writer’s Corner’, featuring occasional blog posts about writing and workshop goings-on

small work-in-progress previews from both my monster stories and my original fantasy fiction ‘Weaver of Threads’

5% off the first 5000 words of writing commissions, and priority placement in the commissions queue

Orcs – all of the above, plus:

you can also request a letter once a month from your favourite character, but yours can also be hand-written and posted to you if you’d like! You also have the option of it being posted to Patreon or not. 

One short story (maximum 1500 words) with a monster and reader of your choice per month (by request only), included within your subscription

A PDF version of any monster story I’ve written and published on Patreon or Tumblr (by request, and sent by email)

10% off the first 5000 words of a writing commission

if your design was selected in the ‘Sculpt This!’ feature, I can post the finished sculpture to you, if you’d like to have it.

Dragons – all of the above, plus:

One 5000 word story of your choosing will be written for you per month (no fanfiction) as a thank you for your patronage (by request only)

Entry into the monthly top tiers free story draw but your story is 4k words instead of 3k

20% off the first 5000 words of a writing commission

A character with a name of your choosing (upon approval!) will be added to a monster story

Priority on jewellery and metalwork commissions and a larger discount on my Etsy store (when that opens)

Kaiju – all of the above, plus:

if you win the random free commission, yours is 5k words instead of 3k!

One 7000 word story of your choosing will be written for you per month (no fanfiction) as a thank you for your patronage (by request only)

One hand written letter of thanks (I have nice handwriting, don’t worry!) sent to you by post, including a little short story

25% off the first 5000 words of a writing commission

30% discount on jewellery and metalwork commissions

Dedication by name in any published work (let me know if you wish to remain anonymous)

Hope you’re excited, and don’t forget that you can always get in touch with me on any of my platforms – Patreon, Tumblr, Discord. If you want to share something but also want to remain anonymous, just send an anon to Tumblr and ask me not to post it. 

__

| Masterlist | Patreon | Ko-fi | Writing Commissions |

[today-only-happens-once]

Hey Grae! It's been a while! How was your Christmas/New year? And do you have any tips on what I could do to feel less stressed and negative about myself?

Hey Blaze! It was nice.

As for advice… What has worked best for me has depended on what the source of the self-deprecation and stress is. 

Things that have helped me with self-negativity/deprecation:

Stop making self-deprecating jokes about yourself, if that’s something you’re inclined to do. It starts as a joke, but it messes with your head after a while, and then it becomes this vicious cycle. And if it’s become reflexive/habit, then start by not saying them out loud, and correcting yourself in your head. Eventually, you’ll be able to kick the habit.

One way I’ve tried to stop these thoughts in my head is actually DnD related, so it may not work for everyone. But instead of like: [makes mistake] “I’m an idiot” I’ve started re-framing it as: [makes mistake] “well that was a nat1 on the intelligence check there, Grae”. And I like that because it’s a way for me to laugh off the mistake, but the thing about DnD stats and rolls is that even extremely intelligent characters roll nat1 and fail a check. It just happens. And it doesn’t mean that character is stupid. It was just a one-time mistake kind of thing. 

Similarly, stop giving voice to the part of your brain that may want to disagree with compliments. It starts by not disagreeing outloud, and then that voice gets quieter and quieter. Eventually, you might even reach being able to accept them. (If that’s something you struggle with).

Something my therapist helped me figure out relates kind of to the whole point of the DwIT video: thoughts are just thoughts. I used to get really down on myself and self-critical about things in the past. It was a lot of “I should have done this” or “I should have said that”. But my therapist pointed out that we have some control over the thoughts we choose to follow down the rabbit hole. There’s no reason why “hey remember when your ex said something and you didn’t correct them?” should have any bigger impact on our psyche than “hey that billboard has a cool sandwich on it”. Be aware of the thought as it passes through your head, but you don’t have to give it any merit. That was eye-opening for me. 

This is getting long so more below a cut:

Give yourself a pep talk as if you are actually talking to your best friend. Write it down. Sometimes treating myself as someone outside of myself and writing down a little speech that was like “hey, your life sucks right now but YOU are freaking awesome” has helped me boost out of a funk, at least enough to go make dinner or something. 

Vent art can be great, but it can also be risky when you’re in that headspace. There have been times where I’ve used writing to help me cope with feelings I was struggling with, but sometimes… I realize my headspace is getting worse rather than better, and I need to step away. If that happens, please step away from it. Find something that might help you get out of your own head a little (i.e. “are there healthy distractions?” video)

At the end of the day, just be gentle with yourself. I say this a lot, but it’s because I know saying “be nice to yourself” or “compliment yourself” is not easy for everyone. So if nothing else, be gentle. Try to forgive yourself when you slip up. Be gentle.  

Dealing with Stress:

First, I think it can be helpful to know that sometimes, stress and self-deprecation are interrelated issues and finding coping strategies for one can help with the other

And the best ways to deal with stress vary by person and also by what the source of stress is (academic, family, personal, etc.) BUT here are some things that have helped me:

To do lists. I live and die by them now. I cannot function without them. Because if I write down what I need to do, I don’t have to worry about remembering to do something. It’s okay if I forget, because it’s on my list and I will be reminded. To do lists are life-savers. 

During my worst/darkest times, I made a list of literally everything I needed to do on a step-by-step process. Like: [tell students the agenda for the day] [collect their homework] [explain the next assignment] [pass it out] and I’d cover everything else up with a piece of paper so that I was only ever focused on the exact next step because that is literally all I could handle. It’s okay to do that. 

Prioritize your basic needs. There have been days where I’ve been like: “I should eat dinner” and the thought pops into my head of “do you really have time?” and I just shout in my head “YES because it is NECESSARY and I CANNOT SKIP IT”. Don’t let the thoughts that have you neglect your physical and mental health win out those inner-arguments.

Get help if you need it. If your stress is academic, talk to teachers (i.e. “hey, Mx. Y, I’m feeling super overwhelmed with all the assignments I’m missing and I’m not sure how to deal with it. Any chance you could help me figure it out?”). Talk to your friends and family if it’s personal/relationship-based stress. Talk to counselors (they are there to help you and trained how). Get help. Advocate for yourself. I didn’t learn how to really do that until my early twenties, and I wish I had been better at it when I was younger. 

This goes along with a point in the self-deprecating section, but… get out of your own head. On those do-to lists (if you use them)? Put fun things. “Watch the new episode of the Good Place” for example. If you feel like you don’t have time, make it a short thing: “send someone a nice message on tumblr”. Something like that. 

Trust that it gets better. It will, it will, it will, it will.