#<- which okay arguable. they do take the time to say he was wrong for it. which is. a whole other thing on how genshin handles

[dreampearls]

for all that i might compare colleis writing to scara with scara working as a weird sort of mirror world alternate look into collei if she wasnt smited by misogynistic writing decisions. scaras writing is not all that good either

[writeyouin]

Lost light megatron trying to have fun with his s/o, but kinda failing cuz he thinks of all the ways it could go wrong? (Maybe they’re on a planet in a theme park?) and reader has to convince him to let loose?

Megatron X Reader – Let Loose

A/N – Slowly, whittling my list of requests down.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

Megatron snatched the cotton candy from you, earning a startled look from the vendor and the surrounding people alike. You, on the other hand, merely smiled, knowing what he was like.

“Babe, it’s not poisonous,” You told him patiently, waiting for him to agree.

Megatron tore off a piece of the fluffy treat, scanning it with a device he had procured from Red Alert; that bot was equally paranoid about all the things that could poison you, or that could contaminate the ship’s supply of energon, or that could… Actually, the list of things that Red Alert was paranoid about was endless.

He hummed and passed it back to you begrudgingly. While it was true that the food wouldn’t kill you, it wasn’t very good for you either, which is exactly what he told you after you tore a piece off, popping it in your mouth gleefully.

“Would you lighten up?” You laughed, elbowing him playfully. “Today is supposed to be fun.”

Megatron followed you through the Carnival that Rodimus had insisted on making the Lost Light stop at. Frankly, he thought that he had been doing well by not complaining that it was a waste of time and energy to visit such a trashy attraction, especially when the crew had to make use of their holo-forms which increased their energon consumption by 3.7%. That might not have been a lot for one bot, but when used by the full crew, it would ensure they practically ate through their energy reserves.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), but how exactly would you have me ‘lighten up’?” Megatron used air quotes upon repeating you.

“Just cut loose. Have fun for the day, okay?”

Megatron scowled. His idea of fun was composing poetry to sum up his deepest thoughts and clear his processor, or to spend an evening with you, consuming some of the universe’s best literature, while you spent time on one of your hobbies.

Frankly, this was when another bot might comment on how odd your relationship was. You and Megatron were not alike. You were loud, carefree, and energetic. He was sombre and contemplative, and he preferred not to waste energy on frivolous activities.

Yet, Megatron found himself wanting to please you. Part of this stemmed from the idea that he didn’t believe that he deserved you, and partially because you asked very little of him, taking the relationship one day at a time while he learned how to navigate it with you.

“Very well,” Megatron sighed. “I shall…” He tripped over the words cut loose, finding the slang un-endearing, opting to finish by saying, “Try to relax somewhat.”

“That’s all I ask,” You chuckled, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the first game of the day.

It was a simple ring toss over some bottles, with various prizes hanging overhead. You spotted a plushie armadillo which was arguably the most hideous of the prizes, yet it held your attention, your pupils dilating at the sight of it.

“Oh yeah, that’s coming home with me.”

And so the game began. You tried again and again to win the creature, putting more and more credits on it, much to the vendor's satisfaction.

Megatron watched, bemused, until finally, he grabbed your shoulder, shaking his head disapprovingly.

“What’s wrong, babe? You want a go?”

You held out a ring to him. Megatron glowered first at the bottles, then at the vendor. “You should leave this game.” He told you matter-of-factly. Then in a whisper, he added, “My sensors show that it has been rigged. Winning is a statistical impossibility.”

“Oh,” You deflated. You had already guessed that the game was rigged, but it had been fun to try all the same. Half-heartedly, you threw the last ring before walking away. “Okay… something else then.”

Megatron silently cursed himself for upsetting you, but it was better you knew now rather than trying to win the impossible.

Your eyes lit up again when you saw what had to be the world’s most unstable rollercoaster.

“How about that?!” You pointed to it excitedly.

Megatron scanned the structure, messaging Ultra Magnus to see how many laws it broke. According to him, the ride had 36 structural weaknesses, broke 17 laws, and would only be legal on 3 planets.

You shook your head as Megatron’s face set into its default scowl.

“Oh, come on, please,” You begged, clasping your hands together.

“I won’t stop you, but I shan’t join you,” Megatron said drily, thinking about how he would be prepared to shed his holo-form and rescue you when the ride inevitably flew off the tracks or something equally terrible.

“Really? I can’t convince you?” You pouted.

“I should think not.”

You opened your mouth to argue until Rodimus ran into you, “Hey (Y/N). You here for the coaster?”

“Yeah, I was about to get in line. I’m just asking Meg-”

Rodimus rolled his eyes, “Megatron isn’t going to join you. It would mean having fun, something he’s completely allergic to, you know, alongside joy, laughter, puppies, flowers-”

“Shut up,” You punched Rodimus playfully in the arm.

Megatron watched as you and Rodimus played, eventually getting his approval to go on the ride together. It sometimes amazed him that you hadn’t chosen to enter a relationship with someone like Rodimus. The two of you were quite similar and had a good rapport.

Megatron sighed as he watched the two of you on the ride. He was somewhat you were relieved that you were with his co-captain. At least that way you would be safe with him should something happen. One person with you, and another on the ground in case something went wrong.

Yet, remarkably, nothing bad happened, except for Megatron putting yet another damper on the day, making him practically miserable.

Once you had come off the ride, Megatron made his excuses to go back to the ship, leaving you alone with Rodimus. He had much to think about when it came to the two of you, and frankly, he felt like he needed to find some reasons that the two of you were together, especially after such a disastrous excuse of a date, wherein he had only helped to sour your vibrant mood.

Megatron startled at the sound of the doorbell ringing.

He answered the door to find you, holding tightly onto the plushie armadillo that he had claimed was impossible to win.

“So, you somehow won the ring toss,” He stated, gesturing to the toy.

“Nah. Rodimus distracted the guy there and I took this,” You held out your prize, grinning victoriously.

“Stealing?” Megatron said doubtfully, thinking about what a terrible influence Rodimus could be.

“I’d like to think of it as liberating a plushie who needs a lot of love. Besides, you said it yourself. That guy was cheating, so it’s only fair he loses a prize or two every now and then.”

Megatron nodded stiffly, his optics following you as you entered the hab-suite.

“I’m sorry-” He started, surprised when you said “Thank you,” at the same time.

“What’re you-” “Why are you-”

You laughed as you both spoke simultaneously again, gesturing for him to start first.

“I- I’m sorry for leaving you at the fair,” Megatron sighed in his usual melancholy tone. “And you don’t have anything to thank me for. Believe me, I should know.”

You grinned, holding back a bout of laughter since you didn’t want Megatron to be offended.

“I’ll admit, I was sad that you left early, but… I wanted to thank you, for a really good night.”

Megatron didn’t respond. Frankly, he couldn’t see how you had a good time with him at all.

“I know the carnival isn’t your scene, but you went with me anyway, and… I love having someone who looks out for me all the time. I think it’s really sweet that you don’t want me to get conned out of my credits, or get hurt on the big rides, or, y’know, die from poison. I love you, Megatron.”

That wasn’t the first time that you had told Megatron you loved him, nor would it be the last, and yet, you always said it at the most unexpected times.

“I… Love you too,” Megatron said haltingly, scared as usual that his vulnerability would lead to a terrible end for the two of you. “Would you like to spend the night here?” He offered.

“Sounds good to me,” You beamed.

[muzzlemouths]

Part 1 of a oneshot based on @juicyyyboxxx's Valentine's Day art because it's lived in my head for months. so if this breaks your heart you have them to blame 💕

WC: 1400

The rejection is familiar. It bites like teeth on flesh, a deep and aching bruise, unseen, it offers no catharsis without the bitter taste of crimson beneath. Circuits sting and spark under plates of cold metal and a heart that tick tick ticks to a pre-programmed pulse. Alive by electric veins, each breath is painfully artificial. That's why they always leave, isn't it?

How silly it is to think this time might be different. Yes, silly, that’s what they always tell him. What a silly robot, with silly little feelings he himself doesn’t understand and a silly heart that goes 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat) 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat) 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 (beat).

He is exhausted by its rhythm. Disheartened each time a scraped knee leaks oil and not blood. It didn’t use to be this way, of course. This dysphoria of sorts is recent — a development which stems from not one rejection, not two, but a number that can’t be contained when counting on both hands. He is made to watch, not to keep. The children come and go. Their parents, too. His coworkers find him endearing, charming, amusing, silly silly silly silly silly.

But not worth staying for.

He tries writing letters, assuming (hoping) that it is his voice or maybe his face which scares them away. Maybe he can’t find the right words, and his hesitance is too ugly to bear. Maybe it’s a matter of not saying the right things, or not saying enough of them. Writing it down will fix this, he thinks, and so he gets to work.

The first letter isn’t good. No, no, it isn’t good at all. He tries it again. This one isn’t much better. That’s okay! He has plenty of paper, see, and all the time in the world to get this right.

Time swims through scribbled ink, his hours punctuated with each shake of his head and the crunching of paper, forced into a ball and tossed over the shoulder to be discarded at a later time. It’s terribly messy and goes against his very coding, but then again, so does this beating heart of his. So do these feelings.

It’s a bug, he thinks. A sickness. There must be something wrong with him, surely. He can’t think of another reason for this madness. There are butterflies where his wires ought to be, a warmth in his chest that no amount of fans can reckon with. He feels so strongly about this. About you. And this time, the letter is perfect.

It has to be.

If it results in that familiar sting once more, well, he doesn’t think he will have the strength to try again.

He spots your orange sneakers from across the room and makes towards them like a bee, high on hope, catching you by your name just as you reach the exit doors. Your heel turns to question him, and your smile is thin. Polite. You want to clock out and be home, already.

The paper in Sun’s hands is folded neatly, basic printer white. The adhesive of a red heart sticker keeps the letter in place. His fingers tap-tap-tap against it for one anxious minute before he works up the courage to hand it over.

“Seeing as it’s Valentine’s Day, a-and everything,” he sputters, “I thought– well, why don’t you just give it a look?”

For all the opinions Moon had to share over the hours that the letter was being written, he is decidedly quiet now, of all times, when his voice and companionship is arguably needed most. There is a shared stillness to the room that is perfect as much as it is daunting as the letter is extended.

His gears tense like a held breath when you raise an eyebrow in his direction. You take it with the patience one might expect from any other retail worker; which is to say, too much. Your breezy attitude has him fidgeting with twice the enthusiasm, and the reasoning behind his restlessness is lost on you.

A confession lies between folded paper, unbeknownst to you, ready to be heard if you will humor him and listen. Your eyes return to the letter with an inquisitive hum.

Taking little care in preserving it, you break his heart.

Sun watches on with quiet resolve as the sticker is ripped in two, and the paper unfolded. He dares not move or utter a word as your eyes look over the small poem written in crayola purple. Short and sweet, with the intention of making his feelings for you known without it becoming too cheesy, he thinks it gets the job done well enough. His best letter yet! This assumption is further bolstered when your mouth upturns into a lopsided smile, but he can’t quite read your face.

Then comes the laughter.

Short, curt, a quick exhale through your nostrils more than anything else, as though he’s just told a joke that you found particularly–

“Oh, Sun…”

The letter is returned to him with that same humoring expression on your face, and it is here where he realizes that the look in your eyes isn’t returned affection at all. It’s pity.

“This is very sweet,” you insist, nudging the paper forward a second time when he doesn’t immediately take it back, “but it’s not like that between us, right? I mean, we’re friends, but…you didn’t seriously think this would work out, did you?” Another laugh, and this one stings. “Don’t be silly.”

There is an echo of understanding between his code. Your words don’t offer him the kindness of sinking in slow, rather, they cascade through his audio processors like a slap to the face, one after the other.

There it is again. Silly, silly, silly. Yes, indeed, how silly it was of him to think he could ever be anything more than a hunk of metal in human clothes, pretending to be something he’s not. At the end of it all, it’s not his face, or his voice, or the words he is too scared to say. It’s him. Silly, silly him.

And he is not something that can be fixed with crayon words and sticker hearts.

“…Sun?”

“Of course!” He abruptly straightens with a vocal tick of metal on metal, swiping the letter from your hands as if it burned you. “Of course I wasn’t being serious,” he continues, “it was a joke — a joke! You know me, silly ol’ Sunny. Just thought I’d give you a laugh before you went home for the night, is all!”

Printer paper white folds neatly over shaking hands. You might have questioned it were you not in so much of a hurry to get home, but as it stands you have more important things to get to, and a subtle tremor isn’t too out of the ordinary for the animatronic, anyway. Old wires, if you had to guess. The company really ought to get that fixed.

“Good one,” you say, a third and final laugh spilling between your grimace. “Well, I should get out of here. Thanks for helping out today.” Your eyes flicker towards the exit, then back, again, to where he waits like a statue, unmoving and with that same ever-constant expression staring back. “See you tomorrow?”

Something clicks and buffers in his voicebox as he realizes you’re waiting for an answer, a thousand responses readying themselves between the silence, questions he’s never dared to ask. How is any of this fair? Is it in vain, all these hours and days and years spent toiling with words that go no where, and feelings he isn’t allowed to have? To run his circuits ragged chasing after a heart he can’t keep? Am I better off alone, he wonders.

“See you tomorrow!” He says instead.

You can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt rising in your chest as the door clicks shut behind you. He sounded so genuine, you might have actually believed it if he were in any way built to host those kinds of emotions. You assume that he’s just mimicking them, instead. Putting on a show like he used to do before the daycare became his new objective. And yet, the idea of an animatronic truly feeling anything in the way of love makes you smile just a little as you head for the parking lot.

“…What a silly robot.”

[joseline-woodhouse]

Okay I have to say it.

Will, Ada and Montresor did something way worse than Annabel Lee.

Why? Because motive matters. Now don't get me wrong, a good motive cannot justify an inherently evil action, it however matters more and more when going deeper into more morally grey areas.

Annabel has made it very clear she understands these people, including Duke to be damned regardless of her actions and basically sees herself confronted with a trolley problem that goes: "You, your wife and like X other people are bound to rails. A trolly will run over all but one of you. However if you pull just the right levers, both you end your wife will survive. The first lever you must pull is on Duke." While this doesn't make her actions noble, it gives them a noble cause and one could argue in several ways that she's acting within a moral grey area if we take the situation to be as unshakable as it seems. To make to examples, one could argue in an utalitarian way (this saves more lives than the other option) or in a very human way (this saves a loved one at the cost of a soon to be dead man, who could blame her?). There are also concepts of morality that would condemn her, like for example the categoric imperative or Jewish or Christian (and I think Muslim) religion, in which it is inherently bad to kill a single person even to safe thousands of others.

Annabel considers killing Duke a necessary evil.

Montresor however is acting out of pure sadism and spite and he puts on quite a show to make this clear. He had done so even if he believed everyone would get a happy end and he is having the time of his life killing Duke. That is picture book chaotic evil behaviour right there and by no means redeemable.

Will and Ada? Arguably worse than Montresor, at least not a bit better. This is the kind of stuff that makes large scale modern genocides possible. Hannah Ahrendt (great woman, you should look her up) argues in her book "Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil" that evil at its worst is not some kind of demonic evil like it has been preached in medieval times, but lays within the sheer banality of an office worker casually doing the phone calls and paper work necessary to send thousands to their certain death, while the office worker goes back home, eats dinner with his family and thinks "I'm just doing my job. It's my supervisors moral responsibility, not mine."

Ada and Will tried to kill for no other reason than because they have been told to do so and the lack of willingness to accept responsibility really shows in their actions afterwards. So I am a bit confused when I see people arguing how terrible Annabel Lee is while defending the "poor boy Will".

So, controversial opinion: in this very specific case, even though Annabel Lee either started this or at the very least didn't stop it when she clearly could have, she hasn't committed anything as immoral as her henchmen committed, who did not even need a motive to kill.

Also I would every day prefer an Annabel Lee willing to kill Duke to safe her wife in the long run over an Annabel Lee that prefers to not be a controversial female character. Let's not forget these people don't actually exist.

[the-phoenix-heart]

hang on lemme cook. LEMME COOK

Okay so I've been thinking about the stolitz breakup since I watched it last night and the thing I keep thinking about is Stolas saying, "Blitzo, I think so very highly of you...I didn't realize you think so low of me." It is a painful line read, Bryce Pinkham at his very best. And in a way Stolas is right, the fact that Blitzo thinks Stolas would willfully manipulate and play with Blitzo's emotions is a low opinion to have of him. It also makes sense that he sends Blitzo away because he's yelling at him (even Blitzo's cadence sounds a bit like Stella). However, I think Stolas misunderstands where Blitzo is coming from.

We know Stolas is aware of the power dynamic between them, and specifically the transactional nature, and that he is aware that it is unhealthy. However, I think Stolas only understands that transactional part as the unhealthy bit. Stolas (in "Full Moon" and "Just Look My Way") focuses on the "unspoken contract" and how tethered they are to each other. He thinks by giving Blitzo the crystal and semi-confessing (Stolas never says the words "I love you") it means they will be on even ground and Blitzo won't feel like he has to whore himself out for Stolas's grimoire (something he needs for his business so he can live). Then Blitzo can actually choose to stay with him or not. But he doesn't understand that even without the grimoire there's the inherent power imbalance on the hell hierarchy level.

Stolas says in "Just Look My Way", "I don't care that you're of lower station" and that's because he doesn't. But that doesn't mean Stolas is an imp ally. Stolas has never indicated that Blitzo isn't just the exception. Just in this episode Stolas was seen making life harder for his imp butler, and then there's the scene in "Seeing Stars" where he is holding the imp butler holding the phone and squeezing him when he gets pissed. His interactions with Moxie and Millie also don't really make it seem like he cares that much about them as people. Blitzo isn't wrong when he calls out Stolas's treatment of his butlers, or when he says that Stolas was dismissing him in a way that felt disrespectful. Even him putting his hand in his face feels like how he would dismiss a servant.

Throughout the entire conversation Stolas is very cordial, very genuine, and very respectful of Blitzo's emotions-right up until he takes Blitzo's response as a rejection-but even then Stolas always has the power in the conversation. Even when he is being emotionally vulnerable, he is still the one controlling the conversation. He's the one stressing Blitzo out with it. Even when he gets on his knees to put the crystal on Blitzo's glove he is technically taking the choice away from Blitzo to choose it. And then his reaction to Blitzo thinking it's roleplay is that Blitzo really doesn't want him is to completely shutdown emotionally and not listen to Blitzo.

And Blitzo is not wrong for thinking it's about sex. Half of this is Blitzo convincing himself it's roleplay because he doesn't believe anybody could truly love him, but also when isn't it about sex with Stolas? The only times where it hasn't been was after Ozzie's when Stolas offers Blitzo to come inside (which Blitzo did not believe and did not react well to) and arguably the Harvest Moon Festival where Stolas invites him, which Blitzo honestly could have misconstrued as Stolas wanting to bring his sidepiece with him. You could also make the case for "Seeing Stars" but that episode has them falling back into horny during a mission they are both participating in. And as I pointed out in an earlier post how is Blitzo supposed to realize how highly Stolas views him? Stolas has called Blitzo his "impish plaything" and covered his face at Ozzie's and has generally been condescending to him ("You are so cute when you are serious"). We know that Stolas is desperately in love with Blitzo and would do anything for him, but Blitzo himself has never really gotten that confirmation.

Hell, Blitzo is actively doing what Stolas wanted. His reaction to Stolas's semi-confession by thinking it's roleplay is specifically proof that he does want to keep this up, even if he doesn't realize the feelings behind it. And then later he is specifically trying to have a conversation with Stolas and process what's going on ("Let's go!" As in "let's have this conversation!"). The fact that Stolas sends Blitzo away when he himself starts crying, when Blitzo has been on the verge of tears throughout most of this conversation proves that Stolas is not ready to have this uncomfortable conversation. He was only ready for Blitzo to either accept or reject him, and he thought that their issues would be fixed.

"Blitzo, I think so very highly of you...I didn't realize you think so low of me." No, it's not that he thinks so low of you, it's that he has almost only seen the outrageously horny part of you, that he's more aware of this power dynamic than you, and is rightfully calling you out for how you fumbled this confession. You clearly love Blitzo, you have the right idea, but you still have these inherent biases and are unaware of the power imbalance, and you need to reevaluate some things.

This isn't to absolve Blitzo of the part he played in the breakup, but since Stolas took the initiative and almost always people are more willing to take his side, I feel he needs to be held more accountable.

[badaziraphaletakes]

Submitting this... it's a long one, sorry 🥲

*Shakes out very, very long scroll*

*In Bildad voice* "Shall I summarize?"

✅ Demanding that an ab*se victim have a plan for how to fix their ab*ser's Evil Scheme

✅ Saying you would handle the situation better than they did

✅ Acting like outsmarting an ab*ser would have been as simple as writing a sneaky lil note on a sneaky lil piece of paper, like I'm sorry but holy sh*t y'all that is just the most patronizing, trauma-invalidating BS I've ever heard

✅ Saying "idiotic"

✅ Using it to describe an Autistic-presenting character

✅ Who is also an ab*se victim

✅ Calling an ab*se victim "egocentric"

✅ Which is even more problematic given that that ab*se victim is also feminine

✅ Assuming Aziraphale actually wanted Crowley to come back with him, when we aren't yet in full possession of the facts

✅ Assuming Aziraphale meant literally anything he said in the entire Final Fifteen

✅ Assuming that, if Aziraphale really did actually want Crowley to come back with him, he didn't have a valid reason for it (maybe he actually thought it was the safest possible option for Crowley! We don't know!)

✅ Obliquely blaming Aziraphale for maybe being scared to go back alone? Or just not wanting to be lonely when he knows he might very well die up there?

✅ In short, eviscerating an ab*se survivor for having the audacity to respond to the horrendous situation their viewer has trapped them in, in anything short of an entirely morally irreproachable manner, and acting like their (supposed) moral failings gives us license to pronounce judgment on their situation

✅ Accusing Aziraphale of thinking he's always right and Crowley is always wrong, when we know Aziraphale says all that stuff like "You, I am sorry to say, are evil" in the knowledge that heaven and hell might be listening in at any moment

✅ Calling the things Aziraphale said under the ever-watchful eye of his ab*sers "starting a fight"

✅ Ignoring that, if Aziraphale is to blame for "starting a fight" , then just maybe Crowley might share some of the blame. (For the record, we don't think either of them are to blame here, considering Metatrash deliberately trapped both of them in a pressure cooker and turned up the flame, while simultaneously trying to manipulate each of them into thinking the situation was their husband's fault. A strategy which, incidentally, to have worked on a good portion of the fandom... << But we digress. :p )

✅ Saying Aziraphale "meant" the things he said while those ab*sers were possibly listening to him, and had literally just made an extremely explicit death threat

✅ Implying Crowley "doesn't have any spirit left"

✅ Accusing Aziraphale, rather than his and Crowley's ab*sers, of bearing the real responsibility for Crowley's distress

✅ Ignoring that Aziraphale was every bit as distraught as Crowley

✅ Saying Aziraphale "refuses to listen" because he cut Crowley off, even though he was stressed at the time and that's something all of us, especially the neurodivergent folk, do when we're stressed (AND even though he also probably stopped Crowley from saying something that would might have gotten them both roasted on a spit in the flaming cesspits of Abbadon)

✅ Saying that an ab*se victim has been "ignoring" their problem and needs to

✅ "confront"

✅ the "consequences" of

✅ "their" actions

✅ Acting like Aziraphale hasn't already (like any other ab*se victim/survivor) suffered more than enough for a million lifetimes

Did I miss anything lol?

(And okay, yes, the OP is responding to the "Aziraphale has a perfect plan to fix everything" take, which is an arguably slightly-problematic take in itself - but honestly, given that they responded to it by piling on a bunch of crap that was a thousand times more problematic, I'm not feeling disposed to make allowances.)

[bunnyshideawayy]

cassian. great man, wonderful friend, absolutely terrible mate.

we have seen Nesta’s sisters, who arguably have less of a reason, defend her more than Cassian has ever thought about. HELLO?

my issue with cassian acosf and onward is that we are truly expected to believe they he deeply understands Nesta when he’s been shown time and again to never stick up for her and never fully trust her. he does nothing to help her over come and face her traumas / depression, she’s left to do that on her own, but best believe he’s down to fuck and make her hike! (no sarah sex and physical exercise are not cures)

after reading the entire series once and now twice seeing Rhys threatening anyone who dares breath wrong in Feyre’s direction under the guise of just “protecting his mate” i find it extremely hard to believe cassian allowed or even sides with anyone who speaks ill of/to Nesta or threatens her- all of which Rhysand and most of the IC (besides her sisters and Az) do, most of the time while directly in front of cassian in conversations he’s involved in. the most he does is…pout a little? throws a hissy fit? the two times i can remember him even remotely stick up for Nesta he immednantly backtracks as soon as Rhysand pushes back, both times the final decision being put in Feyre’s hands, this continues even into CC3 (and let’s thank the mother Feyre loves her sisters which is something ik yall nesta haters can’t stand.)

let’s move onto something i know yall don’t want to talk about, his verbal abuse. “oh but nesta also said-“ we know what she said, that is not the point. if this man knew all along nesta was his mate and truly wanted to help her heal from her traumas and depression why did he take every chance he could to provoke her? Nesta called Rhysand an asshole, and he IS especially to Nesta, and instead of keeping silent as he does when Rhys/the IC harshly critique her, he immediately gets angry and in her face to defend him. funny he can’t do that with her, his MATE? or let’s talk about this scene

oh okay! that’s totally something you say unprompted to your mate who is severely depressed and traumatized because she won’t eat! she’s totally not shaking because she’s triggered! then to add the lecture “we’ve been here before, too” oh okay! so you admit you know what she feels like (very doubtful although i’m not going to compare their traumas, both are valid he just does not understand her like he thinks he does) it’s patronizing and a little frustrating. she doesn’t want to be there in the first place, purposely throwing a sensitive subject in her face will not magically motivate her or cure her- she is simply doing what she has no choice in. she has been stripped of all autonomy, humanity, and “normality”- she feels alone and valuable in a way she as never felt before and she has NO HELP. none!

i’ll end with the hike. yay more physical activity as punishment- but if i said that was abuse yall will bring up the pregnancy so ill do it for you! Yes, Nesta was wrong to tell Feyre THE WAY SHE DID, she had every right to tell Feyre about her own body and pregnancy, it just shouldn’t have happened the way it did. everyone knew it was wrong to keep it from Feyre, even Cassian, so instead of forcing her to hike a mountain as punishment to ware her down mentally and physically he couldve stood up for both Feyre and Nesta to Rhysand the moment he threatens to KILL NESTA. a simple “hey buddy you knew it was wrong to keep that from Feyre you can’t kill my mate for telling her even if it was out of anger” would suffice. not once during their entire hike or during her breakdown does he reassure her, not even when she is tearing herself apart because she doesn’t feel worthy. don’t even get me started on what happens in CC3.

over all i think Nessian is great and they have some great moments, the end of ACOWAR lives rent free in my mind but i am incredibly disappointed with Cassian. i do feel like Nesta deserves better from everyone (besides Feyre and Elain who, again, are the only ones who i truly believe love her unconditionally.)

anti nesta’s this is not a safe space for you.

[scoobydoodean]

BOBBY He's gonna find out, you know. One way or another, someone'll tell him, or he'll figure it out on his own. He's not dumb. He should it hear it from us. DEAN Can we just leave it alone for the moment, please? BOBBY Okay. But you better prep for the B side, 'cause when Sam realizes we're shining him, it ain't gonna be cute.

I must have seen this and the scene where Cas scolds Dean for putting Sam's soul back in giffed 10 times at least while looking for 6.12 gifsets in various archives and I think it's obvious why, given how rancid soulless Sam disk horse can get. It suits a narrative certain fans want to sell to take this out of context and make it look like Dean is being controlling—is babying Sam, trying to keep something from Sam that Sam deserves to know—and Sam is going to be rightfully mad at Dean treating him like a kid. That's such a narrow view that omits so much obvious context and Bobby ends up being completely wrong about Sam's reaction.

For one, Bobby says all this because he's struggling with being around Sam after soulless Sam tried to murder him the previous episode. Bobby's motivation for saying this is that he wishes he could clear the air. Unable to do so, he isn't sure how to explain why he doesn't really want to be in the same room with Sam (and boy is that a reversal from 6.06 where Bobby did not understand Dean's discomfort with soulless Sam and told him to stop being a baby).

For another, Dean's pleading "Can we just leave it alone for the moment, please?" really reveals his motivations for hiding the truth aren't about Sam as much as they're about DEAN needing space to process what soulless Sam did to him. What soulless Sam did to Dean and the way he behaved around him was fucking creepy. Telling Sam everything that happened while he was soulless won't just reveal information to Sam about himself—it requires Dean to reveal painful, personal details of some extremely uncomfortable experiences of his own that he doesn't really want to talk about. As a victim of that behavior, Dean deserves space to work through it. And the way he words it here, it's a request for TIME before they tell Sam the truth, so that Dean can BREATHE and PROCESS.

Bobby is right that Sam figures out he was soulless pretty quickly, but after figuring out Dean didn't tell him the truth, Sam isn't full of anger. He immediately understands Dean's hesitation to tell him the truth and understands it isn't about him.

It's about Dean not wanting to talk about the parts of Sam's soulless escapades where Dean was his victim.

SAM: Dean... DEAN: Yeah? SAM: I am so...so sorry. I can't even begin to say. DEAN: For what? SAM: You know what. DEAN: Did Bobby... SAM: Cas. DEAN: Cas. Friggin' child. SAM: You should have told me, Dean. DEAN: You weren't supposed to know. SAM: What I did? To Bobby? To you? Of course I should know.

Sam says "You should have told me," but notably, it isn't in an angry, accusatory tone. He's gentle. His focus is actually on DEAN and BOBBY and how Sam should know what he did so he can adjust his behavior accordingly for THEIR comfort.

Unlike the fans who love to harp on this moment as some proof of SAM being victimized by Dean (which bothers me for several reasons) Sam understands Dean's hesitancy wasn't just about keeping Sam safe, but was also about Dean being HURT by soulless Sam and deserving to have space to process that—the same way Bobby takes his space by deciding not to go on the hunt when Sam wants to join them.

Arguably, nobody should have been pushing for Dean to be the one to tell Sam everything to begin with. It's really for the best that Cas was able to share the details of what happened with Sam (however unwitting he was when doing so) because I don't know that Dean could have really talked about it. The moment in the car before Sam figures out how much time he's missing is bad enough:

SAM: So you never even tried, huh? DEAN: Tried? SAM: To go live a life...after. You do remember you promised that, right? DEAN: Yeah, I remember. SAM: So, why didn't you try? DEAN: What makes you think I didn't? SAM: 'Cause look at you. Look at this. You're exactly the same. DEAN: Yeah, you're probably right. A long pause. DEAN: I was with them for a year—Lisa and Ben. SAM: A year? DEAN nods. SAM: So then what? DEAN: Didn't work out. DEAN turns up the music.

Absolutely brutal. Sam's assumption that Dean didn't try stings all on its own, but it's especially hurtful (without Sam knowing that obviously) given soulless Sam was part of guilting Dean into leaving them in 6.02, and his actions with the vampire in 6.05 were what put such an upsetting end to Dean and Lisa's attempts at long distance. Regardless of whether you as a viewer thought Lisa and Dean could make things work in the absence of Sam's actions, that relationship ended in a particularly painful way riddled with fear and guilt because of Sam's actions in 6.05, instead of being allowed to end in a more amicable manner that could have provided more closure and mutual understanding. Dean can't say "Lisa and I had a terrible breakup because you let me get turned into a vampire on purpose and then I hurt Ben and I could have killed them and it was all because you didn't care about me or them and I was just a disposable piece of meat to you and now you're accusing me of not even trying to have a home like I wanted for so long because I'm a failure and that hurts like hell." All he can do is turn up the music.

[spacetimeaccordionfolder]

TLDR: 1: Void and Soulfire and Light and Soulfire interactions? 2: Light does stuff with wills not souls I was wrong. 3: half baked theory about diadem

OKAY FOLKS

So like many of us I am trying to figure out WHAT IS GOING ON currently in Aurora. I mistakenly had this whole theory that the Light Dragon did stuff with souls or free will or a combo of that, but the past weeks have destroyed that theory in my head. I am left scrambling. And then Today's page (2.3.16) got me thinking of one of the things that made that theory for me: How Soulfire and Void interact. And how that same interaction does not happen with Soulfire and the Diadem. And then I went on a research dive. :D

First: Void and Soulfire, Diadem and Soulfire

Let's look at 1.17.33

In a post Red made, explaining the making of this panel, she said, "What really sells this shot is the points of energy where the flame and void interact - the blue-white streaks. I started shaping them very precisely in the wake of the flame to make it clear that they were the result of the two interacting, rather than some intrinsic property of either element alone."

blue white streaks are where soulfire and void interact

not some intrinsic property of either element alone

The Light Dragon is called the Dark Dragon's "equal and opposite" by Theia, and this is presumably a statement held by all paladins. "He can do it, so can she." Interestingly, I think the Void Dragon's only called the Light Dragon his "Other."

(Uh Oh gang I just realized that we might not actually have any reason to believe that anything Void can do Light can do just as well because we could have biased sources but never the less I carry on I spent too much time this afternoon thinking about this)

So because the Light Dragon is Void's presumed equal and opposite, one might expect a similar blast of Light magic to have similar effects.

HOWEVER

(2.3.15 and 2.3.16)

That's not the same effect. That's a white or yellow white light, especially over Dainix's eyes, but there's no blue- white streaks.

(I originally thought there was an X on Dainix's right eye but then realized that was just one of the thorn things and his soul fire and not actually an x)

The closest thing I have seen to the blue-white streak effect was panel 6 of 2.3.15, but arguably that's tears. Which sad.

So we have options here:

A) We haven't seen an equivalent blast like the Void blast in 1.17.33. Perhaps if Champion tries to stab Dainix in Crucible form with one of the swords we will. The Diadem, while painful, is not the same power level as that blast so it does not have the equivalent effect

B) Equal and Opposite, so the effects will also be. I am looking for the wrong signs here. Perhaps the yellow-white is the interaction of Light and Soulfire, taking on one of Void's colors while the interaction of Void and Soulfire took on Light's colors. Perhaps even the effect will be black and purple or yellow for cool factor.

C) hey that looks like the color of Rage on the Catharsis panels

I think B might be the most likely, that or a combo of the three options.

Next: Soul, Will, Mind?

I had incorrectly assumed that, because the blue light effect was made when Void interacted with Soulfire, that souls had something to do with Light. Because the blue light effect is the same color as Light's light. However, the effect is probably part of the transformative properties of Fire, instead of that of Soul, as a few of you put in the notes on that one post I made theorizing about Soulfire and Light. As we know, Light is not soul. [by the way in my archive dig I found a nifty post Red made for common theories in universe on soul energy. Here it is! I will be thinking about it as I do want to make a list of every info we have about soul energy at some point.]

Let's look at the evidence we have:

In 1.7.21, Void says "[the light dragon] awoke the mortals' wills. Mortals given sentience could not be controlled..." We see this event on 0.1.2.

In 2.0.10, the Hornbearer says, "when [the dragon Light possessed] awakens with the Lady's parting gift, it may be persuaded to make a valuable ally." We had previously seen the dragon when Tess fought it.

In 2.3.15, Falst describes the diadem as "like hornets in your head." Dainix is able to talk a bit, but not well.

On 2.3.9, when the Champion activates (sure we'll go with that) the diadem, everyone Stops. We get the no sound effects freeze frame slowmo where you can imagine gasping and that's it.

There is probably more than that, but basically Light does stuff with Mind and Will. She can give sentience, which awakens will, and thinking.

The Diadem "holds" people (2.3.10), and I'm guessing, from Falst's and Dainix's comments, makes it hard to think [hey gang I am suddenly recalling that one kind of elemental corruption makes it hard to make choices? I think? oh boy I don't want to get more elements/primordials mixed up]

One last tid bit! In an ask Last Year some one asked if mind manipulation was possible. Red replied, "not with elemental magic"

So while I now have a whole bunch of questions about how soul energy is different from wills and minds (thank you protestant childhood) those are not relevant here. Light does mind stuff and also can awaken wills. And wills and minds are in the same playing field.

Lastly: Why do their eyes look like that

While staring at 2.3.9 I had a thought.

So uh. This is less coherant than the other two sections. But. Alinua and Dainix are the ones whose full eyes we see. And Dainix is a Crusible who burns with Soulfire. And Alinua's Life's Vessel. And Light said that the Diadem wouldn't hold Void, so it probably won't hold Life (not holding Void could be an equal and opposite thingy but uh Life balances out Void in other ways so??) So I'm wondering if Dainix could possibly burn off the diadem? This is not just based on the folks here, but also because I was thinking that the design of white in their eyes reminded me of how Kendal's starfire would look before it activated? Or how Dainix's eye looked in the fight in chapter 15.

Thank you for reading! I hope you had a great time! One day I will get to my eventual Soul energy list or my "What is Starmetal and how does it work with Souls" list. But not today!

[eds6ngel]

hey! I just saw your account and I loved it, I'm looking for accounts that have open requests, if you don't like it, leave me empty, you have no obligation!🤍 eddie x reader where reader likes physical touch, but eddie isn't much of that, and he ends up calling her clingy or suffocating

hey beautiful! i made this a lot more angsty than you asked, but that’s just what i seem to do well, so i hope you enjoy regardless!

warnings: fem!reader. pet names. swearing. mentions of abuse. yelling. swearing. a lot of angst. a lot of hurt. eddie’s childhood trauma </3. comfort. self-inflicted pain. meltdowns. tons of sad eddie. but also some tooth-rotting fluff!! [2.3k].

Childhood trauma was a bitch.

Eddie loved you. He really did. But, it was fairly obvious that your love language was physical touch.

He explained to you that he wasn’t the best at giving physical touch, which was true, but he didn’t tell you from the receiving end. And arguably, that was ten times worse.

And it got visibly worse closer to traumatic events. This wasn’t just a relationship thing either. Close to his mother’s death anniversary last year, he practically shut himself off from all of his friends. He pushed Dustin off of every hug he tried to give.

And this time, it was the anniversary week of when his dad beat him so hard, he broke his nose and cheekbone. He was seven years old at the time.

They say that trauma-filled dates stay with you until the day you die, and Eddie was convinced that was one hundred percent true.

You see Eddie standing by his locker, sneaking up to him and wrapping your arms around his waist. “Guess who?”

You fail to notice the slight flinch in Eddie’s demeanour as he becomes aware of your presence. That was something he struggled with majorly. The unwantedness of your touch.

“Yeah. Hi babe,” he replies slamming his locker shut, D&D manual in his hand.

“How are you?” you ask cheerily, hands still wrapped around his waist as he turns to face you.

“Yeah. Fine, fine,” he says, looking around frantically as he pushes a hand through his hair, letting a shaky breath out.

“You okay?” you ask, placing a soft hand on cheek, him instantly moving his head away and wincing, closing his eyes in pain.

“Yeah. I’m good babe, I promise,” he lies through his teeth. He couldn’t tell you yet. He couldn’t scare you away. He couldn’t lose you. “I just… I have to get going, campaign starts soon.”

“Baby, it doesn’t start for another thirty minutes,” you say, a disappointed look settling on your face.

“Actually, um…” he thinks for an excuse, “We’ve decided to start early today. We’re all just too excited to wait any longer to finish this campaign.”

“Oh,” you softly mumbled, “Okay. Will I see you later?”

“No,” he blurts out, a confused look perched on your face. “Sorry… I mean, um, Wayne and I were going to spend some time together. He has the night off from work.”

You nod, understanding why he wanted some alone time, “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay?”

He softly smiles, “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

You lean up and place a quick kiss on his lips before turning your back and waving goodbye to him.

But, on your way home, you wondered why his behaviour was… off. You caught on he wasn’t the biggest fan of physical touch early on in the relationship, but even so, when you hugged him from behind like that, he would still lightly place his hands on top of yours.

And why did he flinch? It’s not like your hands are rough or you gave a harsh movement, it was the same as every other time. And every other time, he would nuzzle his face into your hand. A small gesture, but enough reciprocation to show comfortability.

Maybe he was just having a bad day. Tomorrow’s a new day. Perhaps he would be better tomorrow.

But, you were very wrong.

You walk into the cafeteria, spotting Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire boys sitting at their usual table.

You beam as you walk over, reaching the table and taking your usual seat, on Eddie’s lap. You sit on top of his thigh, wrapping your arm around the back of his shoulder and placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

The conversation goes as normal. Random chats about classes, latest campaigns, recent shows, a mix of everything.

But, Eddie is trying his hardest not to break. His other knee is bouncing and his hand is shaking, him trying to hide the fact by shoving pretzel after pretzel into his mouth.

With the boys loud chatter and the visible weight on his leg, it all becomes too overwhelming for him.

“Babe, can you get off please?” he whispers, just loud enough so she can hear.

“What?” you ask, making sure you heard right.

“Can you fucking get off of me!” he yells, his eyes on the brink of watering as you flinch at the loudness of his voice right beside your ear. You quickly move off of his lap, taking the empty seat beside Mike to your left.

“So fucking clingy all the time,” he grumbles, a slight waver to his face which you pick up on.

You reach out towards his hand, “Baby, what’s wro—“

But, he lets out a harsh whine and slams his fist down on the table in frustration, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut.

He grabs his small lunch box and loudly pushes his chair back, the legs scraping across the floor as he powers out of the cafeteria, arms folded across his chest.

All of the boys have their heads staring down at the table, each avoiding eye contact as they pick at the food on their plates.

“Gareth?” you pipe up, “Can I talk to you a second?”

“Uh… yeah,” he says, the pair of you getting up and walking over to the end of the cafeteria, away from the rest of the boys to be able to hear.

“What’s going on with him?”

Gareth sighs, a sense of knowing to his voice, “It’s best if you talk to him. It’s just…” he pauses, “It’s not my place to say.”

“Is he okay?” you ask in a concerned manner, worried for your boyfriend’s sudden shift in behaviour.

“No… he never is around this time of year. It’s… stuff from the past,” he explains, “I’m not the one to tell you, but he really needs your support. I would suggest you go find him.”

You place a hand on his shoulder, “Thank you Gareth,” you smile, walking back over to the table and collecting your belongings, before turning and walking out of the cafeteria and to the parking lot.

As you burst through the main doors, you look around, Eddie’s van nowhere in sight.

“Shit,” you curse, powering over to your own car and throwing your backpack in the backseat, jumping in the front and slamming the door shut. You put your keys in the ignition and turn it on, reversing out of the parking lot and heading down to Forest Hills Trailer Park.

It’s 1:30 by the time you reach Eddie’s trailer, stepping out of your car, seeing his van parked on the driveway. You walk up to his front door and knock on it, surprisingly no answer being shared.

It felt wrong, but you turn the handle and open the door, stepping into the small space, seeing the walls covered in Wayne’s favourite mugs. You giggle to yourself, he sure had a lot of favourites.

You walk past the couch, heading down the hallway and coming to a halt at his bedroom door. Making sure not to scare him, you lightly knock, “Eddie? Honey, it’s only me.”

“Leave me alone,” you hear him mumble from the other side, that waver in his voice returning once more.

You sigh, “I know you don’t really want that Eds,” you say, knowing that he did indeed want you to be there, he just shut himself out when things went wrong. “I’m going to come in, okay?”

When you are met with silence, you slowly open the door, turning to your right to see Eddie curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed, his knees tucked up to his chest and his head in between his legs.

As he looks up at you, you can see how puffy his eyes are from all the crying, his hair also a fluffy mess. It was the worst sight you had ever seen.

You sigh as you take a seat at the opposite end of his bed, giving your boyfriend enough space to make him feel comfortable. The last thing you wanted to do was scare him more.

“Gareth told me to come and find you. He didn’t tell me the details, but…” you take a breath, “He said you get like this every year and that you could do with my support. So, here I am.”

He simply nods, a strong silence filling the air once more. Seeing as the conversation wasn’t moving any further, you tell him something truthful, “I’m not pushing you to tell me a single thing, but whatever is making you have this reaction, I won’t judge you for it, okay? Our past doesn’t define us, and if you think that telling me is going to make me leave you, I can guarantee you that will never happen in a million years.”

He sniffles, “You won’t leave me?”

You attempt to lighten the mood, “Eds, unless you axe murdered someone in the past fifty days, I promise I won’t leave you.”

He slightly smiles at this as he untangles himself from his self-made ball and sits up on his bed. He takes a breath, debating to admit the truth to you, “You know I don’t live in the most… conventional family. I mean, it’s just me and my Uncle Wayne, you know? But…” he sighs out shakily, “I’ve never told you about my parents… Specifically my dad.”

You look over at him, “I’m listening, baby.”

You can see his leg bouncing, you refraining from the urge to put your hand out to calm him down, realising on the way here that physical touch must’ve been the issue he was facing with you.

“This week… Well, it’s been ten years since my dad hit me so hard he broke my nose and cheekbone. And I just…” He shakes his head in annoyance as the tears spill once again, “Fuck… I know you’re not him. God, you’re nothing like him. You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, and you would never hurt me in my lifetime.”

He hits his head a few times with the palm of his hand, you almost jumping in to stop him as he refrains himself from continuing. God, it hurt to see him like this.

He sniffles, “Just… The way you touched my cheek like that yesterday in the hallway, and then today with how overwhelming everything felt in the cafeteria… It just brought back so many fuckin’ memories…”

You slightly shuffle closer to him, maintaining enough distance to make sure you weren’t pushing any boundaries. “And… I’m sorry,” he cries, “You aren’t clingy, not at all, I just couldn’t cope with the physical touch, and I’m just… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, angel,” you softly speak, “Trauma is a tough thing. You shouldn’t feel the need to put on a brave face and cover it up just to make others happy. If you don’t want me to touch you, I’m okay with that. Touch isn’t the only way to show love.”

You inch just a tiny bit closer, seeing that he wasn’t flinching anymore and his breathing was becoming more regulated, “I just want to tell you that we have moments where we crash and burn. Healing isn’t a linear process baby. And if you have moments where you don’t want me to hug you or kiss you or simply hold your hand, then all I ask from you is to let me know, okay?”

He shakes his head, “But, I want you to touch me. I don’t want your touch, your such kind and loving touch, to link to his hands,” he spits out the end of his sentence, an obvious frustration at his traumatic childhood.

“Well…” you think for a second, “Why don’t you guide me?”

He looks up slightly in confusion, you beginning to explain yourself further, “Take my hand honey. Guide me to where you want me to touch you. That way, you’ll know that my hands are safe and you are the one initiating the touch. It’s just a small step in healing yourself.”

He looks down at your hands, taking a shaky breath before grabbing them with his own. He places each one on either side of his cheek. You can feel him take a sharp intake as he feels your skin come into contact with his.

He’s gripping onto your hands, afraid to let go as his eyes are closed, you whispering out a soft, “Listen to the sound of my voice baby. It’s only me. It’s your girl’s hands.”

And with those words, he removes his hands from yours, letting them sit comfortably on his cheeks. You can feel and hear him start to cry once more, but this time, in a sense of relief.

He felt safe in what felt like forever. For the first time in years, this week in his life, he let someone touch him, and he didn’t feel scared. He felt safe, he felt secure, he felt loved.

You can feel him reach out for your waist, pulling you close as he places his head on your chest, sobbing into your shirt. “I’m sorry,” he cries out again.

Your hands are now stroking his hair, tangled in his brown curls as you place a soft kiss on his hairline, leaning your head on top of his.

“You don’t need to apologise, my love. We’ll get through this, you’ll get through this. Because I know how strong you are, how tough you are. You aren’t as weak as you think you are. What you did just there? That’s the bravest thing I’ve ever seen someone do. And that is what makes you a strong person. The ability to overcome a fear and accept love into your life when you most struggle with it.”

You can feel him place a soft kiss on your exposed chest, him mumbling, “Thank you. I love you.”

You place one more tender kiss to his head, replying, “I love you too. So incredibly proud of you.”

And that is what he needed. Someone to tell him that he was a strong person. He was worth loving and that he should be proud of himself. And he’s forever grateful that he gets to call that person his girl.

thank you for reading! and i’m sorry for the utter heartbreak in this, but it’s just what i do best </3 hope this was good for you my love!

[cow-rants]

Fair warning: this post is in regards to the recent Assassin’s Creed: Shadows trailer. I will talk about my thoughts and feelings regarding race. Thank you.

I’ve been a massive fan of Assassin’s creed (AC) since I first saw my uncle playing it at 7 or 8 years old. I’m a massive history buff and the idea of being able to experience the past through the eyes of an ancestor is such a brilliant idea. Not mention the concept of a secret war being fought through out the centuries is always fun. But as of late, I haven’t been really excited for a new entry. Odyssey was the last game I really played and it was alright, but I’m personally not a huge fan of the new RPG mechanics (although I do understand why they were implemented).

Valhalla looked interesting, but didn’t really feel like an AC game to me. So I put it on my “to play later” list. Mirage looked far better and I definitely do want to play it, but I honestly just haven’t felt a super big pull to pick it up. But when I saw that AC was finally going to Japan, I was ecstatic. I adore Japanese history in general and the Sengoku period is full of interesting conflicts and characters that would fit perfectly with the assassin’s and the templars.

Although they went with some pretty standard people to showcase, such as Oda Nobunaga, I still think they have a chance to do something really interesting story wise (of course, reserve all real judgement for the gameplay reveal. But I’m mainly just talking about the story). Especially with the portrayal of Yasuke. From what I could tell, it seems like his story will be one of disillusionment, possibly betrayal, and redemption. Certainly a story we’ve seen before, but it’s still interesting to see Yasuke in something as big as AC.

Before I get into the more unfortunate discourse regarding Yasuke, I absolutely have to talk about Naoe. See, what caught my eye about her was how she and my OWN AC OC have very similar stories. Well, I don’t know for sure. But they certainly share a similar experience, which is watching their families be butchered by Oda Nobunaga’s armies. It’s not much, but by the gods does it make me pretty happy. My OC’s name is Minori Kishimoto and she’s one of my favorites, so seeing a canon character with some similar traits is kind of exciting for me (okay, very exciting).

Anyhow, back to Yasuke. As soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I was going to see people saying something stupid. So I checked both the comments on the video and twitter. And I was certainly not mistaken. So so so many bad takes and ridiculous arguments that, honestly, only go to show either mild racism or straight up hatred toward African people. Not to mention the fact that they completely ignore Naoe as a protagonist. I guess she must be the greatest assassin of all time.

From what I understand, a lot of people are upset that for a Japan centered AC game, there is a black protagonist. Which, again, ignores Naoe entirely. The biggest argument I have heared against Yasuke being one of the protagonists is that he wasn’t actually a samurai. To which I say: False. Incorrect. Mistaken. Wrong. Factually incorrect.

The primary issue here is the fact that many people refer to him as a retainer. A title that he never officially held, as far as I’m aware, but even so that still makes him Samurai! Looking just at the facts of his life, he was respected by arguably the most powerful Daimyo of that time, earned his trust, received a pension, received a sword, and received property. So then the question becomes: what exactly makes a person a samurai at this time? Because I can tell you one thing, it isn’t noble blood.

A peasant man was once hired by Nobunaga to do a multitude of tasks, one of which was to hold his sandals. This man would soon prove himself to be capable of all of his tasks as well as in the art of war. He would become a powerful man and rise through the ranks until he held the rank of Taiko at the end of his life . That man was Toyotomi Hideyoshi.

If Hideyoshi’s story proves one thing, it’s that at this time anyone could rise to become a daimyo. So then, why wouldn’t Yasuke also be considered a samurai? We’re not even trying to claim he was a daimyo, just that he was a samurai. Retainer, bodyguard, slave, whatever. The fact is that the man was 10000% a samurai and was a respected one at that. To claim otherwise is to prove yourself ignorant in the history you claim to be proficient in, and incompetent at backing up your argument.

Not to mention that from a writing point of view, it’s a brilliant move. Yasuke was not super well recorded and thus is relatively unknown to others. Which makes him perfect for being a:

1. Fish out of water character

2. Real person, that can be treated written like a fictional one

All of this to say, I think that this newest Assassin’s Creed has a chance to become one of my personal favorites. As well as putting the series back on the map for many. But, with no gameplay and an already worrying pre-order package, I’m worried to say the least. Only time will tell, but I look forward to it.

[killugon-truther]

hxh analysis: ep. 98 [killua] parallels ep. 116 [gon]

okay but the parallel between killua kinda lashing out/getting defensive towards gon in ep. 98 and gon lashing out/getting defensive towards killua in ep. 116 (but in a more intense way when he did it obv) has been a reoccurring thought in my head for a while now.

esp since i always personally interpreted killua’s goal for splitting up at all in ep. 98 as more than just him believing it’ll be easier to do alone & wanting gon to focus on prioritizing the mission over all else. that’s def part of it, but i also believe that killua’s actions, esp in this arc, always have an underlying emotional response in them, even if he doesn’t verbally mention it & he makes it seem like it’s ONLY for the sake of the mission.

when gon begins to interject, killua’s voice & actions begin to take on a rather defensive tone and then he switches to a more controlled & composed demeanor, acting as if he actually has everything under control (bc killua feels the need to constantly have everything under his control, or at least act like he does or act like it doesn’t bother him even when it’s the opposite); he does this a few times throughout the brief span they talk abt this.

even killua’s words (paraphrasing here), which are “no offense, but it’ll be easier for me to do alone,” had a rather harsh tone to them imo. at the same time, we can’t rly see killua’s expression, just the bottom half of his face, both that and his voice concealing how he rly feels. to me, this is only amplified by gon’s reaction, which was to make a face and say “okay, i get it.” in a rather annoyed/dejected tone.

like, “okay, i get it; you don’t want me around right now, you don’t think i’ll be able to help you. you don’t have to rub it in.” or smth like that. and considering gon is equally codependent on killua as killua is on him, & gon’s own internal insecurities and struggles abt not being strong/good enough to help or save the ppl he loves, i can imagine that probably insulted him even more, esp since it was his best friend in the entire world saying it. even if it wasn’t necessarily a “big deal”, that would still hurt.

all i could think in this moment was that killua was intentionally trying to push gon away, which was weird to me at first bc i didn’t understand why. why would killua be pushing his best friend away right now, arguably when they need each other most (again, i understand killua is also doing this for the mission but at the same time, it feels like he’s somewhat acting out of emotion) at the moment?

i think it’s bc this is the arc where killua’s feelings for gon (idc if you see them as platonic or romantic; regardless, killua is in DEEP) are at their most heightened, and at the same time, is the most aware killua has been of them. i could be wrong, but i feel this is the time he realized how much gon truly means to him, and at the same time, just how terrified he is of losing him (ep. 84, aka the “he’s my most precious friend!”, “i don’t want.. to lose him!”, and the needle removal ep. was when his feelings became more intense & he started to become more and more aware of how he truly felt).

(side note: i 100% believe that killua pulling out the needle, which was bc of how much he loved gon in the 1st place, was part of the reason killua’s feelings seem to steadily become more intense as the arc progressed. he can actually FEEL and REMEMBER stuff better now in its absence. why wouldn’t that make his emotions for his loved one(s) even more intense?)

what’s smth killua usually does when he’s afraid, when he feels like he doesn’t have any or enough control? he hides how he truly feels, he lashes out, he gets defensive, he tries to take control back of himself, his feelings, and of the situation in order to quell all of that trauma-born anxiety, sometimes even at the expense of hurting others or himself (just like gon does sometimes and esp in this arc).

and while this isn’t a perfect one-on-one parallel, it def feels like one to the way gon acted towards killua in ep. 116. gon pushed killua away by lashing out bc he felt like he was losing control; control of himself & feelings, control of the situation, control of the narrative he created in his mind of pitou being evil incarnate & them getting kite back in order to avoid completely breaking, etc.

if gon can't control kite being restored and if he can't control the situation, then he will grasp for smth that he sees as a last resort, one of the only things he can do: pushing away the person who loves him the most & who he loves most in return, the person he needs the most & who also needs him most, as a form of control. he can't directly control killua & make him go away, but he can be harsh and thoroughly even so, so killua leaves, and gon won't have to worry abt being the cause of another person he cares abt, who he values over himself, dying.

in ep. 98, killua couldn't control his feelings or the situation at hand- gon may very well die, & killua just can't let that happen- so he pushes all of that away in order to quell the fear, the vulnerability, the pain as much as he can in order to gain just some control, and in turn, pushes gon away. in ep. 116, gon does the same thing to him.

and look at these !!

ep. 98

ep. 116

they def feel like parallels. like i said, not one-on-one, but very similar !! the fact that killua & gon are further apart and that gon’s completely faced away in the ep. 116 parallel compared to ep. 98 where they’re closer and killua is still facing/looking at gon makes me so sad 😭😭 symbolism of characters separating further and further apart is the best and the worst.

basically... gon & killua love each other very much, but that love isn't always healthy on account that they are very traumatized and immature children who both have a constant need for control and to "fix" things by themselves and are afraid of facing their true feelings, which leads them to them lashing out & hurting each other & themselves lol. we love self destructive, codependent best friends !!

hope u enjoyed this analysis !! if u have any comments, criticisms, or anything else u wanna add, pls do.

[n1ghteeea]

The Real Ghostbusters’ future analysis

Do you guys ever think about how tragic the real ghostbusters’ lives went on to be after they dismantled the group. Cuz I do, maybe even more than necessary, and I’ll go over EACH of them in this post.

Ray

At first he worked in uni, which is okay, but ended up being fired and had to settle for selling old cars while grasping every opportunity to pay off his debt. Ray, the guy who is the most ‘in love with his job’ as stated countless times in the show, is SELLING CARS.

In the “Look Homeward, Ray” episode we see a similar situation with him quitting ghostbusting to work in retail and he was MISERABLE because he is obsessed with his work, I’d even went on to say it’s his hyperfixation with how he forgets about everything at times, including time and other tasks he has (from one ADHD guy to another). And that man is selling old cars. Jesus.

Peter

He went on to Hollywood to sell the idea for the second Ghostbusters movie and has been doing that for SIX YEARS. Six years he was out in LA trying to push it through. To do that you need connections, and I’d imagine that making them is not easy, not even talking about how you need money to survive, and since he never said anything about his job, it is probably like super lame. Again, he LOVED ghostbusting and didn’t want to trade it even for a life of stage and fame (“Banshee Bake a Cherry Pie?”).

In “Take Two” episode we saw that he does not get along with Hollywood people, he has too strong of a moral compass and principles, so I can only imagine how those six years where he NEEDED to interact with them constantly went.

And finally, his father. He has a difficult relationship with him, but it’s easy to see that while he still cares for him, he hates how Jim makes money and would rather die then help him in his ‘projects’. Well guess what. His dad also went on to Hollywood to sell a movie about Ghostbusters. A movie no one clearly wanted, similarly to Peter’s (cuz I believe if his idea was a banger he wouldn’t have spent 6 years pushing it through), so at the end of the day he became like his dad, which is absolutely the worst nightmare of every person with bad parents.

Winston

I would say that Winston is relatively better off than others. He got his pilot’s license and went on to travel, which is cool as hell. However, Winston was the glue of the group. He was always the one saying “we’re a team, we need to stick together no matter what”, which can be seen in maaany eps, the most prominent one is probably “Ghostbuster of The Year”.

And he needed to watch them all drift apart, unable to do anything, and going non-contact because in “Back in The Saddle” they were catching up as if they never talked since they parted ways. That’s wild.

Egon

Last but not least 💪 technically you could say that he doesn’t have it that bad. He still lives in the firehouse, he works as a prof of his own course, right? WRONG ‼️

In the comics that are arguably canon, but logically still make sense, Egon get transported into an empty dimension where everything is normal, except he’s all alone. And this is what he thinks of that.

Bro hates being alone. He needs his friends around even if he doesn’t usually show it. This was his nightmare situation and he lived to experience it in real life. For six years.

When it comes to teaching, cool, but he’s a scientist, not a professor. He was excited and interested in experimenting and discovering, not teaching. Additionally, no one takes his course seriously, he has an average of 3 student per semester, and even they are only there for an easy A. That is depressing.

His life does get better after he creates Extreme Ghostbusters: he’s no longer alone, he’s (kinda) doing what he used to, but even then he still struggles with his self-image and midlife crisis, poor guy :(

Overall

These guys are the epitome of ‘frequently bought together, do not separate’, they cannot be without each other.

In “Look Homeward, Ray” Ray leaves the group thinking he’s not good enough and they do EVERYTHING in their power to bring him back.

In “Cry Uncle” Egon’s uncle Cyrus (god I hate that guy) takes Egon away to help him in his lab and the whole team is at first miserable (sitting around the phone waiting for him to call) and then makes 1500 miles one way to ask him to come back.

In “Egon’s Ghost” even though it’s not the only instance, when Egon gets sucked into limbo they go in for him with a condition of ‘either we get him back in an hour or we all stay here’ like THESE GUYS ARE A FAMILY. I did not see this kind of relationship in the live action movie, but in the show? They aren’t just colleague or buddies, that’s a FAMILY.

Even the fact of separating itself is heartbreaking, and accounting for the fact that neither of them went on to do something exciting (except maybe Winston) it is absolutely devastating. Man.

Even in “Back In The Saddle” they get one (1) successful bust and go ‘hell yeah guys, let’s go back to being Ghostbusters, I think we dropped it off way too early’ like yeah, I’m sure that’s what people with their lives together would say.

TLDR: the old men yaoi angst in the real ghostbusters is real 🎉

[thepenguisalive7]

Here’s my little food for thought. If this upsets you, please look away! You don’t have to interact with me if you’d rather not see it 👍

Okay, I think some people on Twitter, hmmm

Why are some of them making this about q!Foolish and q!slime? I think some people are misinterpreting and assuming q!bad is being played the fool, but really, his grievances is more about being seen as a tool? Maybe they’re upset because that’s what their characters are going through? But they’re also ignoring other things q!bad did for said characters.

Sure he said some off things with q!slime and arguably pranks q!foolish a lot, but he also helps give them so many things, I don’t understand why people say he deserves this karma? I mean, q!slime did try to kill all the eggs before, his egg included. In rp, wouldn’t you be upset if someone did that? Q!bad usually tries to lean into rp whenever he plays on the server. He words were terrible sure, but he gave q!slime a full deck of maxed out armour and a backpack for basically free once, just because he felt bad for him. Even went on a little adventure to cheer him up. I understand that maybe q!slime viewers didn’t see this because it was on another persons stream and slime wasn’t streaming but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

He helps to take care of Leonarda for q!foolish, and this isn’t to say q!Foolish is a bad parent, he’s a great parent! But it’s just that, so many people are saying q!bad deserves this law against him for wronging q!foolish? Land duo are just different in my opinion, they know when to push and when to stop, and it’s their thing. Q!BBH pulls pranks, but never really with the intent of permanent damage or significant damage. They’re almost always easily removed. Q!foolish calls q!bad names and they argue but that’s how they work. But if you want to argue their interactions a little, q!foolish also does leave and expect q!BBH to take care of his egg. There was even a weekend where q!BBH explained he would’ve liked a heads up, and q!foolish just said he already kind of expected q!bad would do it anyways. And there have been times where q!bad would ask for some thank you’s from q!foolish, for taking care of Leonarda at times, to which they banter and it never happened.

But this isn’t really about q!slime and q!foolish, so I don’t understand why people are so insistent in bringing up Bad’s wrongs with these two people? When this is his grievance. Saying he deserved it for the wrong he’s done with these two, when they’ve also done things that contribute to the build up on why he’d be upset? I’d rule out land duo personally, because I like to think they’re the only duo that can mess with each other and more or less understand, but if you’re going to bring it up, I’ll bring up my counter argument.

What his grievances is really about is starting to feel more like a tool, the government issues, and his relationship with q!forever. It’s about q!bbh, so why rope those two into this???

They say q!BBH treated them badly, so he deserves this. Q!slime tried to murder every egg after Juanaflippa died. Did he succeed? No. Does he regret it? Ye. No harm done yeah? But he did try to kill a lot of eggs, and the intent was definitely there, even if he’s apologetic of it later on. Do people have to forgive him straight away cause the intent was there, even if he was grieving and upset? I don’t think so. If q!slime did the same thing recently, people would be a lot more upset, seeing as to how they reacted when q!forever striked Leonarda during an intense moment.

I guess maybe it gives people more insight on the wrongs of q!bbh? Hmmm… But it kind of just feels at one point that people just don’t want to hear out his character at all, and just go ahead inserting other characters to discredit how q!BBH is being fleshed out. It feels a little unfair because when slime was upset, people were happy to support him, even so far as having six people defending him (q!BBH included) for attempted murder? And q!foolish lore where he felt isolated because of the pac and Mike arresting and being stuck in the nether. That lore was okay, and is appreciated. Why not this one?

I just don’t think it’s fair to call it karma? When all characters are a little morally grey. You can have favourites, but come on. And then saying he deserves it, despite the fact he helped out those two a lot as well. Feels a little in bad taste.

But this is again just my opinion, I’m not necessarily the best, and if you’d like to discuss, please do so politely! And if you disagree, just ignore this post and move on

[cherryblossomforest]

I woke up from a nightmare and I'm actually concerned about my mental health.

I need to start taking my mental health more seriously, not that I wasn't before but I need to do so much better. I am so scared of losing touch with reality, since I was younger that anxiety has been there, and then I watched Shutter Island and my brain has been more fearful since. I've accepted I am unwell due to things like my depression, having dissociated parts and experiencing hologram-like flashbacks because of my PTSD. But it's like I'm setting myself up to fail even more. I'm setting myself up to become more and more "unwell" and that's what needs to stop. I think part of feeling so unwell has been talking about my OCD thought processes too. I've been talking to my cousin and friends about how it feels like my thoughts are directly responsible for the fate of those around me and myself. I know that comes under magical thinking and thought neutralising and finally talking about that makes me scared I'm going crazy. Very similar to how bad my anxiety was when Dead Brother died and I thought that I caused it because I told others what he had done. I have to keep reminding myself that I do not wield that power and talking about it all will not make me go crazy but get me the help I deserve. At times I feel like talking about it will make me go crazy and then I need to seek reassurance that I'm actually okay which now that I'm typing this all out might just be part of the OCD. But regardless I need to do better for myself.

I often don't get enough sleep or sleep at the completely wrong time, I don't drink enough water and drink so much alcohol. I go weeks to months at times without seeing people and only speak to people on my phone. I don't eat enough either and arguably these are all things and behaviours from struggling with my mental health which isn't wrong but it isn't helping either. I can't afford to be losing my mind by myself at home. There is so much more I could be doing and I'm not saying it'll be easy but I can start with seeing Someone once a week. Unless I'm talking to someone on my phone I'm talking to my cat or myself and yeah that's bad! I should be leaving my house a minimum of twice a week anyway and I don't but I really need to.

I get these moments where I am so stressed out that it's like I'm on 100 and I feel I have all this energy not in the sense that I'm doing 101 things, but it just feels like my brain can't stop to think because then it'll be faced with a bunch of flashbacks and trauma memories so it keeps me going and going and going to not have a chance to think. I actively need to tell myself to stop and calm down because thinking about things won't kill me. I know at times it feels like remembering will but it won't but carrying on like this is just exacerbating my mental health.

I think I need to get out of the house, and I know this is severely limited because of my fibro but even just sitting in a cafe close to home during school hours can be enough. I need to stop being so alone all the time because it's not healthy and I can feel my brain slipping. I'm way too comfortable being isolated at home and nothing good comes from that! I don't even take a walk outside I'm always just stuck indoors and yeah no. There has never been a period where I have been home consistently for this long. I went from school to college to working full time and this only stopped because of the accident. It's understandable but it's making my mental health so much worse.

I also need to do everything in my power to get my medication for my sleep sorted out. It doesn't help that taking new meds scares me and that I'm sensitive to taking things but regardless not sleeping is not helping. At all. Lack of sleep makes my mental health dip like crazy and it does so very quickly. I need to get my sleep sorted and I know I'm writing this at 4am but that's the whole problem. I can't even take the medication I have because of alcohol (a vodka bottle that I've now poured down the sink) and that's where everything gets messy. Idk what the point of this post was except getting it out of my mind but I just know that I can't and don't want to carry on like this.

[bonnieisaway]

Good morning ladies and gentlemen (it's 6:30 pm) guess who's here to overnalayze episode 1 of season 4 of scissor seven that's right ME

Okay okay I think this might actually be my new favorite episode in the series and I love it so much and I was thinking about it last night and talking about it to my friend this morning and I have THINGS!! TO SAY!!! about it

First off: this isn't as important but did anyone else realize that Blackbird was wrong about Seven's ambushes?

Like when Seven initially jumps for Blackbird he grabs Seven's sword and says this but

he's instantly taken off guard five fucking seconds later? And like yeah, this was something Seven could do cause of the Thousand Demon Daggers, but by all means the fact Seven kept DIRECT eye contact with him and took him off guard to make him drop Thirteen makes it seem Seven does think and act faster than Blackbird does. In fact Blackbird fights Seven the exact same way he did Thirteen, he drags both of them out of the clearing and into the forest - though he throttled Seven around A LOT harder - but Seven didn't lose track of Blackbird the way Thirteen did.

Side by side look at how much longer it took Thirteen to get out of his grip and recover - I know Blackbird is arguably more in his element when he's fighting Thirteen but just their reaction times alone, Seven's able to keep up with Blackbird running around him and Thirteen is struggling to keep sight of him. Their main difference is Seven's got much better reaction time and is able to keep up, but he's horrible at actually avoiding getting hit most times. He's so much more aggressive in this fight but also takes twice the beating, Thirteen spends the first half of this fight getting her sides clipped by Blackbird's whip and Seven literally almost gets his whole shoulder ripped out. Seven seems to know what to do a lot quicker and thinks fast compared to Thirteen. Especially since Seven had the opportunity to and realized he could use the light against Blackbird.

And as he does, I mean initially Blackbird can't even react quick enough, given the distance between them it's surprising Seven got this far,

And he changes direction faster than Blackbird can even react to his initial movement!

Blackbird genuinely loses sight of Seven here! And it's not like he couldn't seen Seven, he was perfectly visible and neither of them were facing the sunlight here, but Seven is just faster than Blackbird can react here

And Seven had time to wait here! Of course Blackbird doesn't realize what Seven is doing and turns around, but if Seven had been going to hit Blackbird from behind he would've! Seven spends a solid second or so longer here before Blackbird actually turns around, and Seven is able to move fast enough to blind Blackbird!

SECONDLY and I've actually seen nobody talk about this but Blackbird has his own art style. Not just like, for his flashbacks. Blackbird has his own fucking art style for when he's in control of the fight. And it makes me so mentally ill

I think I've mentioned before early on Scissor Seven is a little inconsistent art style wise, but definitely by the end of season 3 you can really tell they've gotten comfortable with and have settled on a style they like and work well with. And it's absolutely beautiful, which is why I was really confused when this scene was in the trailer:

because this is so clearly not their normal art style. To be specific- the line art is really intentionally sketchy and messy, you can evne tell they used a different brush than they normally do for coloring and line art, and the coloring and shading really has a 'colored sketch' look about it. And it's not bad, I love it! But it's so obviously different from the normal style and in the trailers I was wondering if the style was going to change again, but this is the only time it happens. And I realized why: this is an art style specifically for when Blackbird is in control. Let's go through this fight from this frame:

the moment Thirteen is dropped. So I'm going to go through this by the most important moves or actions they take:

So obviously Blackbird has a real solid grip on Seven here, but also noticeably I feel like Seven doesn't try to do anything with his sword as he's dragged,

But notice despite how far or close they are, every frame is noticeably clear and really just true to the art style this show takes:

but also this sketchy texture and style is a consistent motif in Blackbrid, even if the rest of the style is still how it normally looks,

Now look at the coloring on Blackbird-

and THEN we switch to this sketchy style, which is NOTICEABLY the same as Blackbird's flashbacks but just colored with clearer line art.

This background is still clear but notice even their smear frames are drawn like this, and if you've seen some of my other post this isn't how they normally draw smears, let alone switching brushes and adjusting the entire color palette for it, and this is where the worst part of the fight for Seven starts! This is where he gets hurt!

Which , these genuinely look like the deepest cuts Seven has gotten in a while- and now watch these frames:

NOTICEABLE. FUCKING. DIFFERENCE. The second, the second Seven realizes that he has an opprotunity here and that he can use the light against Blackbird, the art style turns back to normal!

I mean as this fight ends and Blackbird DIES we don't see this again outside of his flashback! The usual sketchy parts of his body change to another texture!

And I just, it makes me so happy that not only have they found an art style they like, and are comfortable with, but are so good with it to a point that they can play with the art style now for story telling elements! And I mean even as Blackbird screams and tries to kill Seven the art style stays, because even if Blackbird can't feel it and we don't know yet, he has definitively lost this battle and this will drain the rest of his energy and kill him before it will kill Seven!

This bird flying away- and Blackbird's last flashback- is the last we see of this art style.

and I just. RAAAAAAH I love this episode. I feel like I could go on more and I might later - I still really wanna know if there's a reason why they put so much emphasis into Seven switching hands when he's using the sword, given he's ambidextrous and it's never been focused on before, I think it might be because he's not using his scissors even though they're near but I'm not really sure. I can't tell if using his scissors over his sword would be more draining given his last attempt at them in season 3 knocked him out cold. GOD this show makes me so fuckin mentally ill