#<- my tag for funny news | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

newsfromstolenland · 1 month ago

Text

Frontline officers in B.C. got the mozzarella but didn't get their man in a recent "cheese heist" at a Whole Foods in North Vancouver.

RCMP say they were on patrol Sept. 29 when they found a cart full of cheese outside the grocery store near East 13th Street and Lonsdale Avenue.

It was 4 a.m., and the store was closed, so police say they started to investigate and identified a suspect, who fled on foot, leaving the cheese behind.

Full article

Glad the person got away, but what the fuck is up with all the dairy heists happening right now? Guelph just had a string of butter heists.

Tagging: @allthecanadianpolitics

#north vancouver #vancouver #british columbia #cdnpoli #everyday canadian bullshit #<- my tag for funny news #mine #BC #RCMP #whole foods #canadian news #vancouver news

412 notes · View notes

cj-the-random-artist · 4 months ago

Text

Ok hear me out: Narilamb but they're both aroace and in a qpr.

I've been rolling around in my head for like a long long time this idea that Narinder and Lambert could both be aroace and (after like. A couple of centuries or so) end up in this like very comfortable very close relationship that neither of them define as anything specific other than calling it a "companionship". But on the other hand most of the cult thinks that they're dating in secret or something despite the fact that both of them have said they don't take lovers, because they are clearly very tight but maybe not super openly so, so maybe the cultists thing they're being secretive and hiding something or something like that. Idk but my aroace brain loves thinking about extremely close (mostly) platonic relationships and for some reason my brain decided hmm. I'm going to take this and throw it at Narilamb and see how I like it.

So then I decided to make a ridiculous joke comic about Narinder asking Lambert's hand in marriage specifically because he wants to get out of paying taxes. Because like, I know that spouse followers do actually still have to pay taxes in the actual game but. Hey Narinder and Lambert have presumably never married so they probably don't know that...? Honestly the only reason I made this was because the concept tickled me and I spent too much time on this for no one to see it, so. This comic and all it's absolute ridiculousness be upon ye.

While there's a tiny part of me that's been thinking about making this into an AU (which I'd probably call something like the "Strictly Platonic AU" or something), I know for a fact that I would blatantly not do anything legitimate with it so. It's an unofficial AU I guess?? But. Anyways. I thought this would be funny. Enjoy my ramblings and I hope you enjoy this thing that I spent. Actual time on. Lol

#cotl #cotl fanart #cult of the lamb #cult of the lamb fanart #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #cotl narilamb #narilamb #(not sure if this counts as full on narilamb but hey for the folks who don't wanna see it it's properly tagged)#tbh there's a part of me that doesn't know why I'm posting this cuz. it's so ridiculous and silly and self indulgent and like #it probably only appeals to me specifically but hey. I thought it was funny and maybe someone else will too #also new lambert face!! which i'm super happy with they look really good i think in comparison to my other drawings of them so far #anyways that's enough tag rambles. if you've read this far into the tags then uh. hello!! I hope you recieved good news today :D #the yet untitled qpr narilamb au

3K notes · View notes

anxiouscaretaker · 1 month ago

Text

me when the character canonically gets little to no rest

#id in alt text #i have gotten interested in characters just bc their source material shows them being very sleep deprived.#or just. really really tired after an ordeal. my brain takes that one moment and runs wild #whump #kinda #exhaustion #eta shoutout to everyone tagging this with their blorbos and/or funny comments #you're bringing me so much joy <3 and new characters to look at 👀

1K notes · View notes

inkskinned · 1 year ago

Text

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

5K notes · View notes

buqbite · 4 months ago

Text

part 1 (on VA and being better than humans)

part 2 (on welt and being just a human)

#remember how in second eruption welt keeps getting covered in blood edgelord style whenever he fights??? yeah #wait first off #hi3 #honkai impact 3rd #welt yang #void archives #voidwelt #my doodles #okay anyways. VA isnt human but they haven't been in a “human” body for very long so i reckon there's a lot of new experiences to make #and. i dont think he gets to be dignified enough NOT to be whiny about it. cmon. itd be so funny #second of all sure welt is human but that dude's real used to not giving a shit abt how he's doing and acting like a robot instead of a per #cuz he's got more “important” shit to do #(that's so fucking real of him man ME TOO BESTIE)#also as i told kai: that last panel is not a look of surprise or horror. i tagged this as voidwelt for a reason #i think we all know what kinda look this is #edit: and why tf would they be fighting sky people? why can they bleed? dont ask me im here to draw gay people covered in blood #edit 2: oh my god i didnt add the blood in the first panel. THATS WHAT THE JOKE REVOLVES AROUND???

437 notes · View notes

logicpng · 2 years ago

Text

how does he make these anyway

#welcome home #welcome home arg #wally darling #welcome home wally #partycoffin #very funny to find out that times new roman works so well as a font to use in artwork #don't like editing typography for artwork; but i prefer it to handwriting #scopophobia #cw scopophobia #eye strain #eyestrain #Pwease dont copy my commentary in tags to your tags: those are a bit personal

5K notes · View notes

lelelego · 2 years ago

Text

it's always sunny in new vegas

description under da cut

[image ID: 4 images, fallout new vegas redraws of episode stills from the tv series "it's always sunny in philadelphia". all dialogue is in the form of captions typical of tv shows, with a white font on a black subtitle box.

eli, lelelego's courier, and rose of sharon cassidy (cass) are standing in a dirty public bathroom. cass is lighting a very short cigarette. eli is standing a few paces away, looking weirded out. cass says "so, uh, you're gay, huh?

cass, standing in front of a cubicle. she's still lighting the cigarette. she asks, "for pay or for free?"

eli, looking to the side like he's confused by the question, says "uh, for free, I guess."

cass, now putting the cigarette to her mouth, smiles and says, "chump." /end ID]

also, the pics were from alwaysshoutyinphiladelphia :>

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #rose of sharon cassidy #courier six #i saw this post and had to immediately get it out of my head. why did cass have to say the gay stuff like that #this is from iasip s12e08 btw #also i found it EXTREMELY funny that i didnt even have to do shit to the iasip bathroom to make it more like fallout its already nasty #doodly thingy #fallout tag

5K notes · View notes

velvetwyrme · 17 days ago

Text

some short warmup comics about my mom and transformers. TF One was her first time watching any transformers media and her favorite character IS in fact Bumblebee 💛

she also refers to him almost exclusively as "Bumble". the only time she calls him anything else is...