#<- my tag for funny news

[newsfromstolenland]

Frontline officers in B.C. got the mozzarella but didn't get their man in a recent "cheese heist" at a Whole Foods in North Vancouver.

RCMP say they were on patrol Sept. 29 when they found a cart full of cheese outside the grocery store near East 13th Street and Lonsdale Avenue.

It was 4 a.m., and the store was closed, so police say they started to investigate and identified a suspect, who fled on foot, leaving the cheese behind.

Full article

Glad the person got away, but what the fuck is up with all the dairy heists happening right now? Guelph just had a string of butter heists.

Tagging: @allthecanadianpolitics

[cj-the-random-artist]

Ok hear me out: Narilamb but they're both aroace and in a qpr.

I've been rolling around in my head for like a long long time this idea that Narinder and Lambert could both be aroace and (after like. A couple of centuries or so) end up in this like very comfortable very close relationship that neither of them define as anything specific other than calling it a "companionship". But on the other hand most of the cult thinks that they're dating in secret or something despite the fact that both of them have said they don't take lovers, because they are clearly very tight but maybe not super openly so, so maybe the cultists thing they're being secretive and hiding something or something like that. Idk but my aroace brain loves thinking about extremely close (mostly) platonic relationships and for some reason my brain decided hmm. I'm going to take this and throw it at Narilamb and see how I like it.

So then I decided to make a ridiculous joke comic about Narinder asking Lambert's hand in marriage specifically because he wants to get out of paying taxes. Because like, I know that spouse followers do actually still have to pay taxes in the actual game but. Hey Narinder and Lambert have presumably never married so they probably don't know that...? Honestly the only reason I made this was because the concept tickled me and I spent too much time on this for no one to see it, so. This comic and all it's absolute ridiculousness be upon ye.

While there's a tiny part of me that's been thinking about making this into an AU (which I'd probably call something like the "Strictly Platonic AU" or something), I know for a fact that I would blatantly not do anything legitimate with it so. It's an unofficial AU I guess?? But. Anyways. I thought this would be funny. Enjoy my ramblings and I hope you enjoy this thing that I spent. Actual time on. Lol

[anxiouscaretaker]

me when the character canonically gets little to no rest

[boobilby]

New welsknight Hermitcraft video, just what the doctor ordered

[knox-enden]

Dumb idea that Soundwave gets taken down hard and ends up getting a slight processer reset, causing him to misidentify the humans as weird little minicons and claiming them as his own.

[scribz-ag24]

one of these villains is not like the others

also one last gengar being a bastard

[choccy-milky]

🔞NSFW comic🔞

just seb being insatiable when it comes to clora 😇 refractory period?? whats that?? never heard of it

[ TWITTER ]

[ POIPIKU ] and a lil extra doodle:

(aka seb and clora if contraceptive potions didnt exist LMAO.... girl would just be preggo 24/7)

[loonyloopylupin96]

[buqbite]

part 1 (on VA and being better than humans)

part 2 (on welt and being just a human)

[vulturevanity]

Empath Naven memes because it's been six whole months since I read Prison of Plastic and I still hadn't drawn him.

Bonus:

[funsizedcrow]

When the youngest sibling becomes the oldest :)

Q&A (as asked by my sister and me to myself)

Q: Why is Time wearing his kokiri clothes while everyone else is just in smaller versions of their regular outfits?

A: Time came prepared for a situation exactly like this. shrunken or not child him is not wearing that armor (i didnt want to draw it)

Q: Why is Wind lecturing Legend?

A: He tried to grab a fire rod

Q: Why are they all children except for Wind?

A: I thought it would be funny. Maybe a wizzrobe did it. Maybe blue stalfos from oracle of ages showed up. Maybe there was an incident with Purah's de-aging rune. Who knows I'm just the artist here

[keferon]

Getting lost (part 2/?)!!

-----------------------------------------

The humans were really weird today, they had treated him to a meal in addition to the frozen fish he got every day, and he had done nothing! His pool was closed to the public, which only happened when he had a medical appointment and he hated them. The feeling of apprehension clouded his thoughts, it steamed in his belly, resonated in his heart before intruding into his flesh and bones, filling his being with a tugging, a curious desire to search, to understand. With this thick cloud blocking his little world of thoughts and the many staff members circling around his waters, he only wanted one thing: answers.

He would have asked, he COULD have asked, but humans didn't like that. He often tried to talk to them, but the more words came out of his mouth, when his language went beyond simple things like "eat" and "hello", their gaze withered, in the same way that an overwatered flower would have done. The truth brushed the veil of their thoughts before being quickly rejected for coos of joy and excitement at the new words that the orca had learned. And they couldn't really hear him anyway, people he recognized as veterinarians thanks to their green outfits were standing behind the glass of his indoor aquarium and not on the platform they normally used above the water. It felt more like a check-up than a real intervention and he thanked all the deities he knew for that! But no verbal interaction for him.

That still didn't explain why his part of the aquarium was closed. The keepers liked to do their check-ups in public, and honestly it, reassured him not to be alone during them. Being alone made him feel empty, there was nothing to do, nothing to say....just him and himself. He loathed when his body became numb from inactivity, when even his emotions mixed in the melancholy of his thoughts to become nothing but noise without purpose or words. He knew that the more the days passed, the more the little world he tried to keep in a corner of his head crumbled and that one day it would end up collapsing. That day, he will have gotten lost deep enough to never get out again, and there are days when he wonders if he would do better to swim faster to the bottom, to stop the internal bomb that was sleeping inside him, to let the ticking of the clock stop for good and to finally be at peace.

Little taps on the surface brought him out of thoughts he didn't want to have, that he tried as best he could to hide. It was his signal, maybe everything wasn't completely different today? Without hesitation he gave a simple tail swipe that propelled him without any real force towards the air. It was much too hot for his taste, one of the big disadvantages of summer, which made him think that they hadn't provided him with any enrichment with ice recently, maybe they didn't have enough for the whole park? His gaze fell on his regular keeper, Brice, who gave him a gentle pat on the top of his head between his ears.

"Hi buddy"

He cooed before throwing him a fish from a basin placed next to him. Jazz caught it on the fly, creating waves under his weight that soaked the keeper from head to toe, making him laugh. He liked to make people laugh, he was good at it, and he knew that the more he did it, the more humans would come and the less alone he would be. While eating his meal (they were really generous today), he saw Brice talking to the veterinarians who had been behind the window a few moments earlier but also to other people he didn't recognize, inspectors perhaps? In any case, their conversation was clear, even if the humans, as usual, didn't suspect that he was listening.

"Are we sure that the procedure is possible?

- One hundred percent, Jazz is completely docile and has no wounds that could be infected by a mystery disease from the other.

- The new mer is clearly not docile, he has been trying to escape since he woke up. I recommend a gentle approach, a quick first contact so that they assimilate each other."

The orca's ears perked up and his food froze in his throat. A new mer? Here?? He seemed to pause in his rapid descent into the heart of his mind, a pause in the chaos as the numbers of the bomb stopped decreasing, all to listen, to confirm the growing feeling in his chest. Hope? Fear? Stress or just pure denial that something like this could happen? In his head, a new melody began to write itself.

-----------------------------------------

-🦇🐧

Part 2 is less poetic, I didn't have the strenght for it🥲 hope you still like it!

OOOOOOOOOAAAHHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH DKLDNFKELNDHFKF

[velvetwyrme]

some short warmup comics about my mom and transformers. TF One was her first time watching any transformers media and her favorite character IS in fact Bumblebee 💛

she also refers to him almost exclusively as "Bumble". the only time she calls him anything else is...

... when she calls him "Badassatron"

[killer-blowmybrain]

I'm so embarrassed by posting this shit i call my drawing holy fucking shit

@killersansreal us dude 🕊

[sxlidago]

family photo

same hat // runs in the family

[harvestmoth]

mmmind crab.