#everyday canadian bullshit

[newsfromstolenland]

Butter continues to be a hot commodity in Guelph, Ont.

At least seven large-scale thefts have been reported over a 10-month period, including two hauls in just the last month.

On Oct. 12, at around 7:45 p.m., two men entered a store on Speedvale Avenue East.

“They placed a number of items in a cart – including three cases of butter with a value of $936 – and left out a receiving door,” the Guelph Police Service said in a news release.

Full article

Kind of obsessed with this...seven large scale butter heists?? What is happening in Guelph?? I have to know why but I don't want these guys to get caught

[newsfromstolenland]

sources:

ukrainian nazi

liberal MP piss video

freedom convoy

justin trudeau brownface

rob ford crack video

[empressofdiamonds]

Zero Days

By ryans01 on Reddit, really inspiring text I often refer myself when I am in a less great moment. Really great mindset to get you started esp if you have procrastination issues.

Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.

La deuxieme regle - yeah I learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.

Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.

Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.

[upthewitchypunx]

In the last week since the bullshit leaked SCOTUS opinion that looks poised to overturn Roe, we've made around 5,000 1" pinback buttons for our bulk "Keep Abortion Safe and Legal" button packs that we sell cheaper than our custom buttons. We sell them at a lower price because we want people to be able to give them away, spread the world, or sell them for reproductive justice fundraisers.

They are available in our Etsy shop and our regular Portland Button Works website (cheaper on our website).

As you know, I participated in the Etsy strike due to their rising fees. Did you know they even take fees out of the money you get for shipping costs? if you take a day off and don't answer an conversation in 24 hours you get dinged for it in their star seller program? Thank goodness they made it a bit easier to change every listing so I was able to raise all the prices and direct people to or main website in bulk in my listings.

Today I'm salty about a review. Someone gave us a 4 star review because it seems they don't know how 1" buttons work. They said it was hard to pin them on because due to the orientation of the design vs the pin-back. We have an automatic machine that presses the buttons but we still have to pop in the pin-back by hand with the 1" buttons only. My hands are calloused from over 20 years of making 1" buttons but particularly sore this week.

With our larger buttons the pin-back is fixed and we orient them as the move through the press machine, but 1" buttons are very easy to move and rotate on the lock pin that is a sort of springy brass piece we pop in the back. Anyone can fix this. Seriously, just hold the pin-back, and spin the button around to how you would like it oriented. It's easy.

I'm also left handed so when I pin the back closed with one of our button I do in in the way that is easy for me. I've found right handed people find this frustrating. Welcome to a world that doesn't cater to your handed-ness. Lefties deal with this everyday.

I just thought I should let people know how easy this is for me, and other button makers so that customers can figure it out without causing bad reviews that have nothing to do with the product being deficient.

And now that saying something makes me feel let salty, let me share some other button tips.

American and Canadian pennies fit perfectly in the back of a 1" button. If you have a shirt or article of clothing that you would like your button to stay on indefinitely, you can removed the lock pin, put the button on one side of the fabric, and on the other side of the fabric and wedge the penny into the back of the pin.

If you want to make sure your pins stay pinned, get some of those plastic earring backs. The fit snugly on the the pin-back and you can latch the pin-back after the earring back for extra protection.

[thechekhov]

Hi! I saw on a post that you're agender and I'm kinda questioning my gender (again) but what interested me more about that post was that you said you believe that gender is a social construct and I'm not really familiar with that theory. I was wondering if you could explain to me what the whole idea is? (bc I kinda only feel like a have a gender in social situations? In my head, my dreams and how I picture myself in the future, I'm genderless idjskahwksjejensj) Sorry for bothering you if I did.

This is a BIG topic and it opens a LOT of wormholes. 

We’re gonna do this in pie slice statements that will hopefully help explain what I mean. Please keep in mind I’m going to simplify many things for the sake of readability.

1) What is a social construct? 

Social constructs are ideas that are negotiated by social groups. Something being a social construct does not make it ‘not real’. 

For example, money is a social construct. Yes, we have cash - coins, credit cards - but these are physical props that are REPRESENTATIVE of the idea of currency. You have some form of credit to your name - the money is a socially agreed-upon idea of value being represented by bills in your hand, by numbers in your bank account. 

[Description: Two humanoid figures are standing side by side. The right-side figure is holding a rock in its hand. 

Right side figure: Let’s agree that this shiny rock is worth 2 sheep.

Left side figure: Sounds fake but ok.]

Technically, countries are also social constructs. We, as a society, negotiate what a country is, and this can be changed.

[Description: Two figures are standing on either side of a dotted line drawn on the ground. The left figure is pointing down at it while the right figure watches, its arms crossed.

Left figure: Let’s pretend that everything on this side of the imaginary line is mine.

Right figure: ...ok but my house is over there.

Left figure: ... for 3 shiny rocks you can come visit.]

Does that mean canada isn’t real? No. (I mean, obviously canada ISN’T real, but we all agree to pretend it is.) The thing that makes it real is that we are in agreement, and all follow the social rules of pretend to make it seem like the Canadian border, the idea of Canadian citizenship, etc... is an objective fact. (It’s not. These are in fact, negotiable limits and parameters. We have laws in place to define it in legal terms, but those laws can be changed, or may change in the minds of communities. That’s why it’s a construct.)

By that same token, I hold the view that gender, as we largely perceive it in modern society, is a construct. Why? Because it is not inherent; we, as a society, negotiate its meaning. 

2) What is gender? 

People will probably fight me on this and that’s fine, but here’s my (simplified) understanding of gender (from someone who personally has none)

Gender is a social category negotiated by cultures based on your assigned or desired role in your community that influences, among many other things, your physical appearance, your role in family units, your expected position in jobs, etc. 

How I think it happened:

[Description: Two figures are standing on either side of the panel, both holding children-looking figures. The one on the left is wearing purple. The one on the right is wearing green.

Green figure: Hey, I’ve got an idea. What if we separate the babies into two groups based on physical traits they have no control over?

Purple figure: Wh-- okay...?

Green figure: And then limit the jobs they can do and the community ritual involvement available to them based on that!

Purple figure: ... I feel like this is going to backfire on us someday.

Green figure: Nah, it’ll be fine.

The past panel is a dramatic closeup on the purple figure’s face - which is featureless - betraying a deeply doubtful emotion. It says nothing.]

Important points to remember: what gender looks like, what the limits are, what the expectations are... are not inherent to any human biology. We make up gender roles. This is evident in the fact that across the world, gender roles differ by culture. The positions people of a certain gender are allowed to take up are different. What is perceived to be ‘girly’ or ‘boyish’ is different across cultures. 

Simply speaking - currently the (western) model we have, dumbed down, is:

You are assigned male at birth because of physical characteristics

You are raised being told to ‘toughen up’ and ‘boys don’t cry’ and encouraged not to show emotions

You are taught to wear male-coded clothes and discouraged from female-coded fashion choices

You are given more opportunities to participate in sports, encouraged to engage in physical activity, etc

You are not expected to need time off for child-rearing 

Here’s where gender as it works in society breaks down into being not a real thing but instead something we thought up: 

Nothing about having a penis necessitates wearing pants. Nothing about having XY chromosomes means you need to keep your hair short. Nothing about your genome makes the experience of nail-polish different for any human being. 

All of these are arbitrary traits we decided were allowed or not allowed to a specific group of people based on entirely unrelated physiology. 

Even if we delve deeper, there is MORE variation among individuals of the same ‘sex’ than there are, on average, of members of the ‘opposite sex’ when compared to each other. 

Many people use the excuse ‘women are physically not as strong as men’ to say that this has an evolutionary aspect driving these cultural, historical, socially-constructed gender requirements. 

But if there was a physical reasoning behind the culturally-set gender-limited job expectations, then we actually WOULDN’T need a traditional binary gender system to sort ourselves into categories. It would simply be decided as a meritocracy - stronger individuals, regardless of gender, would be given physically-demanding jobs. (Also we know that many jobs thought to be ‘traditionally male’ are just the result of sexist bullshit, so this reasoning doesn’t fly any further than I can throw it which is, coincidentally, not very far. Politics is one such area. Doctors are another. We can go on but I think you get my drift.)

My own example of this is an anecdote when my grandparents came to visit my partner and I in Japan. While we were driving down to Tokyo, my grandmother - who has a PhD in entomology - began to say that driving is a masculine activity and women shouldn’t be driving as it was ‘un-woman-like’. My partner almost immediately fired back that in Japan, studying insects or having any interest in them whatsoever was considered a heavily masculine-coded activity. In Russia, there is no such assignment, and my grandmother was left silently blinking in confusion, unable to come up with any excuse except ‘well, all cultures are different, I suppose...’

Do either of these things inherently have a gendered aspect? Of course not! But we assign gendered ideals to them anyway.

3) If gender is made up and constructed by society, then does that mean trans people aren’t real?

No.

Even if you agree that gender is a social construct, trans people are still real. TERFs don’t get a pass. Why? 

Because gender - as a social construct - still affects our everyday lives, dictates our social position in our community. Transitioning is still a thing that has to happen. The fact that you are NOT easily able to decide your own gender and are ostracized for wanting to transition, abused for dressing the way you want to be perceived, and bullied for wanting people to refer to you with different pronouns - all those are the effects of a social construct that has very REAL impact on our lives.

This is also why I dislike defining trans-ness by dysphoria. Because transgender people are not only their suffering - the suffering is coming from the outside!! Many trans people remember not being concerned about their gender identity in their childhood, because they did not yet perceive the world as being hostile to their desire to fulfil a specific role in society. The issues and self-hatred and dysphoria begins when they express wanting to be themselves - a life which they are forbidden from pursuing based on physical characteristics they were born with.

Does this mean we should try to remove gender from society? If we constructed it, we can deconstruct it, right?

Realistically, I highly doubt this is possible. Gender is so ingrained in our daily lives that it would be difficult. Nor, I would say, would it be necessary to achieve world peace. 

Having social groups - having gender - isn’t inherently a bad thing. The bad thing is when we limit those social groups to specific basic human rights, like voting, or when we forbid them from transitioning from one to another based on things that are out of their control. 

Also, I’m not saying genitals and secondary sexual characteristics aren’t real. Please don’t bother sending me that angry message, I’ll ignore it, I promise. 

But the concept of gender IS something we thought up and maintain and negotiate with each other to this very day. It’s not granted to us by a higher power, nor is it a constant, unchanging thing. It’s a part of the human experience and like everything, it has the potential to evolve - as a concept in our communal memory, as well as on an individual level, for people who feel they want to be perceived differently. 

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk!

[smokeweedeattherich]

It's not just an opinion it's a fact. We see what's happening down south across the border and are terrified that our rights will be stripped away just like theirs. I want an assurance the government won't turn against us if it's convenient. People think as Canadians we're above all that but look at the residential schools, the Japanese internment camp's. I need peace of mind that my rights to lifesaving gender affirming medical care are set in stone and immovable. Everyday I notice even this country subtly growing more hostile to trans people due to the growing artifically created moral panic that has pervaded the media with misinformation. You have to nip this fascist exclusionary genocidal bullshit in the bud before it grows out of control.

Over the last few decades, every major study regarding gender identity has shown that gender-affirming care has significant therapeutic benefits. Medical associations listened and updated their guidelines accordingly. However, I have watched in horror as, over the past few years, science has taken the back burner; for many, ideology trumps fact.

In Missouri, attorney general Andrew Bailey issued an emergency order, effectively banning gender-affirming health care for all people needing it — adults included. Out in Florida, lawmakers are attempting to remove child custody over parents listening to the science. Many trans people — and their families alike — have resorted to fleeing their homes, in the face of state-sanctioned anti-trans policies. Countless advocates have pleaded to state legislatures, but to no avail: instead of listening, they’ve been censoring the very politicians challenging their ideology. “Free speech for me, not for thee.” [...]

Continue Reading.

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

[default-cube]

So I've never actually seen /u/ryans01 excellent post re-posted here on tumblr, and I think it could help a lot of people, so I'll repost it below. Link to the original

Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.

(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )

Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.

La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.

Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.

Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.

That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.

I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.

Have an awesome fucking day ☺

tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)

Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks!

Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action.

Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.

Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png

Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/

[bookshelfdreams]

GOD i fucking hate survivalism, i mean yeah, it’s good to be prepared for emergencies, i agree, 100%, i am one of those people who carry 3kg of random garbage everywhere just in case, but why do they have to. Be Like That(tm) about it?

it doesn’t fucking matter how many nifty gadgets you buy or how well armed you are. disaster preparedness is a mindset if anything, and i do nt mean Constant Vigilance, this isn’t fucking harry potter, voldemort isn’t out to get you ya weirdo.

i can’t explain it right, but like. they go “essential survival gear to always carry on your person: gun, 25 blades, garrotte, uh. long-sleeved shirt i guess?” which completely fails to anticipate the emergencies one might encounter in their daily lives (except if you literally live in the middle of untouched wilderness) AND ALSO shows that they would never be able to survive in a true emergency because guess what?

real emergencies (natural disasters, terrorism, whatever) require you to work together with other survivors. you will never have to Lone Wolf your way through the apocalyptic wasteland. and preparedness for everyday emergencies should mirror that.

you know what survivalism should be about? be prepared to help. look out for other people. stop thinking the world is hostile and other people are the enemy. be the one to offer help when you see someone struggling. because that’s the kind of emergencies you should be prepared for: losing your way in an unfamiliar place, small injuries, missing your last train home. you don’t solve this stuff with weapons and bullshit survivalism gear, you solve it by being creative, trusting in your capabilities, asking for help.

like survivalists will expect the zombie apocalypse any second now. but not accidentally ripping their jeans in public. they’re prepared in case they’re ever abandoned in the canadian wilderness. but they won’t be able to help someone with a skinned knee.

they’re so busy role playing an absurd apocalyptic event that they completely miss ways in which they might be able to save someone else’s day.

[newsfromstolenland]

Frontline officers in B.C. got the mozzarella but didn't get their man in a recent "cheese heist" at a Whole Foods in North Vancouver.

RCMP say they were on patrol Sept. 29 when they found a cart full of cheese outside the grocery store near East 13th Street and Lonsdale Avenue.

It was 4 a.m., and the store was closed, so police say they started to investigate and identified a suspect, who fled on foot, leaving the cheese behind.

Full article

Glad the person got away, but what the fuck is up with all the dairy heists happening right now? Guelph just had a string of butter heists.

Tagging: @allthecanadianpolitics

[eldritchsurveys]

977.

How old are you? >> 33.

Do you live in North America? >> Yes.

Do you love dogs? >> I do love dogs. I teeter on the fence constantly about whether I would actually want to take custody of one or not, though. What I truly want is a trained support dog -- not a full service dog, because I don’t need that level of assistance, but I guess “emotional support animal” is the term I’m looking for even though that’s gotten a bit fraught lately. Once I saw a video (which was weird to watch because it felt a bit voyeuristic, but hey) where a person was having a meltdown and the dog came and prevented them from harming themselves, and I think I could greatly benefit from that as opposed to having to hope that Can Calah (who has no real power over the body 99.8% of the time) can stop me.

Were you finished childhood and teens when Harry Potter movies came out? >> The first movie came out in 2001, which means I was 14 at the time.

Did you keep all your VHS tapes? >> I never had any.

Do you think Jack Nicholson is a good actor? >> I don’t have an opinion.

Have you ever watched an episode of “The Honeymooners”? >> I’ve watched a fair bit of it, because of the New Year’s marathons.

Have you ever owned a pair of high-top Converse? >> No, Converse shoes are uncomfortable for me.

Do you have rain boots with a cute pattern on them? >> No, I just have a pair with white polka dots because that was all I could find at the store at that time. I want to get a cute pair at some point but I keep forgetting (and I use them so infrequently that it doesn’t even seem to matter now -- snow boots are far more important here).

Would you rather eat an apple or an orange right now? >> Apple. We’re out of them, though.

Would you rather do a cartwheel on land or a backflip in water? >> I can’t do a backflip, anyway. So, cartwheel by default.

Have you ever performed on stage in front of people? >> Yeah, many times.

Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? >> I wanted to be the goths. Unfortunately, I had very little control over what I was allowed to wear, do, or listen to, so...

What size is your mattress? (single,twin,double,queen,king) >> Twin.

Do you eat foods from all 4 food groups everyday? >> No.

Would you rather watch a movie in theater or at home? >> Right now, at home 100%. Usually there will be a few movies that I would choose to see in-theater because I want the big-screen experience, and also because I like making An Event out of things sometimes by having to actually go out somewhere to experience them.

Do you prefer brown or white rice? >> I use white rice most often. I’m not sure if brown rice would taste the same in coconut rice (which is the kind of rice I eat most often)... should try it sometime just to see.

Do you like spaghetti? >> Not especially.

What about lasagna? >> It’s all right sometimes. I just don’t eat a lot of pasta, period.

Do you celebrate Christmas? >> Yes.

Is your Thanksgiving celebrated in October too? >> No, this country’s Thanksgiving is in November.

Do you like chocolate bars? >> Not usually.

what about ice cream? >> I don’t dislike ice cream as much as I just never have a taste for it (and I’m particular about flavour).

Have you ever been stung by anything?What was it? >> No.

Do you have GOD-GIVEN(not dyed) natural brown hair too? >> I do have natural brown hair.

Or were you born blonde? >> Not even close.

Have you found a gray hair on your head or body before? >> Yeah, I have several greys. I can’t wait to grow more, it’s my favourite hair colour.

Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? >> No.

Have you ever been screened for STDs? >> Yeah.

Are all your wisdom teeth pulled? >> No, I still have them all. The dentist suggested getting them pulled because one of them was starting to have an issue of some sort, but like... “starting to have an issue” (and only one of them, besides) isn’t enough motivation for me to get four whole teeth pulled.

Did you have your tonsils taken out? >> No.

Did you have your appendix taken out? >> No.

How many kidneys do you have?(have you donated one?) >> I haven’t donated a kidney.

Would you(to save someone)? >> If it was viable, sure, why not.

If you were dying of starvation, would you eat another human? >> I can’t imagine what it would be like to be starving, so I can’t rightly say what I would do. That sort of extreme survival situation turns you into a whole different person, I can’t speak for myself in that state until I actually know what it’s like. (I have no current moral objections to it, though, so I’m assuming I’d have less trouble eating a person than someone who finds it repugnant in normal circumstances.)

Have you ever found a bug or slug in your salad? >> No.

Do you like Harry Potter? >> I thought it was all right. I liked certain characters and plot concepts, specifically, and mostly ignored the rest of them (including... the main characters, lol). Now I have even less interest in it after watching JKR get radicalised in real time, not gonna lie. (Still reppin’ Slytherin from Malfoy Manor, though! :p)

What about Twilight? >> I never got into that, the first book bored me.

How do you feel about Lord of the rings? >> I think it’s an amazing and intricate and delightful story. But I didn’t read it, lmao. Too much book and far too much exposition in said book for my interests. The movies are what I’m into.

Are you going to see ‘The Hobbit’ when it comes out? >> I saw the whole trilogy. I never did get around to reading the book, but I’ll probably do so eventually (after my reread of Silmarillion, which comes first!).

Do you have a glass that says 'Molson Canadian’ on it? >> I don’t. I have a glass that says “Guinness” on it, though. And my name.

Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? >> No.

Would you rather have a white fridge or a black fridge or a stainless steel fridge? >> Black or stainless steel, I’m quite done with white fridges and I never want to see one again.

Do you have a wide foot or a narrow foot or just average? >> I assume my foot is average.

Do you bite your nails when you’re stressed? >> No, I’m a picker.

Do you have to take an allergy pill daily in order to live normally? >> No, I don’t have allergies.

Are you on the birth control pill? >> Yeah. It’s more like the dysphoria control pill, for me.

Or are you trying to get pregnant? >> I would never.

You’d rather wear black sneakers or sneakers in a bright color or pattern? >> Black, because they’d match with everything I have. I’m sometimes tempted to get funky sneakers but the novelty wears off so quickly.

Has anyone ever told you they were attracted to you? >> Sure.

Are you going to drink alcohol tonight? >> Most likely not. Also, I’m a day-drinker, not a night-drinker, because I don’t like things messing with my sleep.

Have you ever heard of the Canadian kids show called “Mr.Dressup”? >> No. But I’m so glad Lane got to take a survey that had Canadian stuff in it instead of being inundated with common USian bullshit for once xD

What about the kids show “Fred Penner’s Place”? >> ---

Did you hate Sesame Street when you were little too? >> I didn’t.

Were you born perfectly healthy or with some(or a lot) of health issues? >> I can’t recall having any health problems whatsoever as a child.

What are those 'said’ health issues? >> ---

Do you collect DVDs? >> No.

Do you download music? >> No.

Or do you still go to stores and buy CDs? >> I haven’t bought a CD in at least a decade.

[hackneyed-foolishness]

I’m honestly super disappointed. Yesterday, I had to unfriend my biological father from Facebook after he posted a ridiculous photo in support of Trump. (We’re Canadian) After so many years of trying to understand his facism/racism and whatever place it comes from, I had to give up. He’s a good guy and he’s my father but difference of opinion is for things like whether or not you like coffee and the best type of chocolate bar, not the evident racism present in all parts of our country. I will no longer sit by and watch the people I know be blatantly racist on social media or in everyday life. It may not be my direct fight but I sure as hell have my dukes up. Living in fear is not a life and if my small contributions to the fight can do anything, I’ll do everything in my power to make the.

Let me add; it took ONLY two conversations with my (now deceased💜) grandparents to explain to them what transgender means and that my cousin is a male and even though at the time they were 88 and 89, they had no problem understanding AND accepting him. It’s not a generational issue, it’s a systemic issue and I’m sick and tired of the bullshit excuses for it.

All in all, if you have any problem with ANYONE, unfollow me because I will call you the fuck out and tell you why your “opinion” is WRONG. You can NOT argue human rights.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[dollarstoreloser]

My brother, Richard, shared a story about an incredible African Canadian woman named ‘Arlene Gwendolyn Lee’, who was one of the early female computer programmers in Canada, despite the open discrimination of the time.

It reminded me of my dearest, departed, friends (family), Norma and Walter Lambkin - who faced similar persecution in Toronto during the 1950s. They were unable to marry, because they were a ‘mixed’ couple.  He was ‘Black’ (3rd generation Canadian with ties to the Underground Railway) - and Norma was ‘White’........ Norma’s childhood Anglican Minister (in an apparent hissy-fit) refused to marry them - and they were subsequently ‘kicked’ out of her church. 

They were also unable to go to restaurants together. Walter always told me the time when a waiter refused to serve them at a Chinese restaurant - he told the Asian man, ‘you of all people should know better’

They eventually carved out a quiet Toronto life together. To get around and run errands - Walter bought a very fancy ‘luxury’ car - and he pretended to be a chauffeur- while Norma would sit in the backseat, taking the role of a ‘Lady of Means’ ....

I came into their lives in 1982 - when they needed to rent out the 2nd and 3rd floor of their home to make ends meet. They didn’t think anyone would want to live with them - but I saw their tiny add in the Toronto Star - and met them (which I still recall vividly)  I didn’t care less what colour they were, as I had my own fair share of homophobia. 

That started a two decade friendship - where they were my family - not landlords. I even took Norma to North Bay for a vacation - and my Dad took her up in his plane - the first time she’d ever flown .... it was a real highlight for her. 

Thankfully, I have a million funny/heartwarming stories about them - and I know how incredibly blessed I was to have them in my life - In fact, when someone asks me to name a perfectly loving couple - they are on the very top of my list - they never fought - ever !!!!!

When Norma was dying, I was still ‘pissed’ that her Anglican Church ‘kicked them to the curb’ - that I marched over to Norma’s childhood church (the scene of the crime) - and blasted the Ministers for what their institution did to them. Thankfully, my menacing temper received quick results - as they high-tailed it over to Norma’s hospital bedside - and were with her everyday till she passed (****** ultimately, all was kinda forgiven, and she was able to return to her faith when she needed it the most). 

For reasons of discrimination they never had children - but, they saw me as their ‘kid’ Their affection for me, was so great, that after they both passed they willed me their entire estate, including their very large Toronto home.

I sold the home because it was just too big for me - but it gave me the extra funds to buy (and fully restore)  an historic, awesome, home in Toronto’s Junction Area (near Walter and Norma’s home) 

They say nowadays that ‘gratitude’ is lost.  People who are successful say that they accomplished their goals by their own labour/hard-work. In my mind, this is absolute bullshit.  We have all been given opportunities (great and tiny) due to the respect, admiration and love of others - be it a coworker, boss, teacher, banker, friend, or family - We just need to see how really lucky, fortunate and blessed to have these remarkable folks and events.  Gratitude certainly needs to re-enter our vocabulary, everyday !!!!! Okay, I’m finished preaching for now ...... !!!!!!❤️

[tofanahisjava]

In April of 2020, my dentist went on a killing spree throughout rural Nova Scotia, not only was it the largest mass killing/spree shooting in my province, but in all of Canadian history. A big issue surrounding the attack was the fact that the police knew, for hours, that a violent man was driving around, in a fake police car, on a killing spree, but no alert was sounded. They only, after over 20 minutes of knowing that this was for sure happening, released a nonchalant warning on the polices twitter page. No alert, no radio warning, nothing but a tweet while while this man drives around killing people for THIRTEEN HOURS. One of the 22 people this asshole killed was a police officer, who I believed just happened to run into him alone with her partner and was killed. Here's the relevant part: the other day, police issue a statement regarding the inquiry (because there was so much sketch shit going on with the cops that day) saying that they DON'T regret not issuing a warning about the gunman, because doing so could have resulted in more *COPS* being killed. Pigs, who are payed to "risk their life" and demand the upmost respect and authority because of this great "risk and sacrifice" "put their lives on the line everyday, bluh bluh bluh bullshit" but they will literally sit by and let a man kill over 20 citizens, injuring many more, setting houses and cars on fire, for OVER TWELVE HOURS and then admit that they let these people die, because they were scared. Cowards, bastards, thugs, pigs. I think that was a big reason I wasn't as surprised as I'd like to be that police will sit outside an elementary for an hour plus while children are slaughtered inside disgusting, disgraceful as fuck, but not surprising.

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[your-modern-shakespeare]

Fanfiction Recommendation

01/06/2019: Hey guys! it’s been so long since I’ve posted one of these but I guess it’s kind of hard to post a recommendation when you don’t have the time to read anything. But anyway, I’m working on the next part of A Little Too Real (the last part before the epilogue) and I hope that I will get that out this week. Hope you guys enjoy!

Last Recommendation

My Masterlist 

Dean x Reader 

Cup of Coffee? by  @hunterswearingplaid - The reader finally meets the person who left her coffee at her desk everyday.

Something Like That by @roxyspearing - Prompt: “I am not a bitch. It just pisses you off that I can see through all your bullshit and lies.”

Sam x Reader 

Windows Rolled Down by @justcallmesailor - Needing a break from the constant problems that come with being a hunter, you and Sam take off for a road trip that’s going nowhere. With no plans and a tank full of gas, who knows where you’ll end up. 

Date by @specialagentlokitty - No summary, Going on a date with Sam 

Cas x Reader

The Touchy Feels by @waywardwinchester2016 - “So the reader is a hunter with the Winchester’s and Cas and Cas takes a special liking to her because she shows him affection that he doesn’t get from the boys?” 

Cas x Reader One Shot by @assbuttmorelikecasbutt - the reader is hurt and getting sick after a hunt. Cas is too weak at the time to heal her completely but he goes back to the bunker before the reader, Sam and Dean and gets all of her favorite things ready for her in hopes that she will feel better.

Crowley x Reader 

Surprise by @thatfanficstuff - No summary, sweet Crowley fic

Fire on the Mountain by @writingfromkitchenator - No summary, kind of angsty, fluffy ending 

Jensen x Reader 

You’re Enough by @casafrass - “Can I request jensen x reader where they have feelings for each other but don’t act on it. So they attend comic con, having fun at stage answering question, jensen noticed she is oddly quiet and a rude fans just ask questions about j2m and stated the reader’s roles not important and no one cares about her, and the fan kinda insulting her appearance, reader can’t take it and left immediately. Jensen snapped and j2m try to comfort her, but she won’t open the door. Thank you!!”

Imagine you and Jensen getting married in secret and your friend and costar, Robert Downey Jr, revealing it during a comic con by @angelkurenai

Jared x Reader 

Falter by @runningwithmoose - No summary, break up angst, Jared being a sweetie

She’s Not Ready by @buckyscrystalqueen - No summary, pregnant!reader and dad!jared

Misha x Reader 

Torcon 2018 by @fallenangelspnfanfic - No summary, you and Misha at a con

A Special Announcement by  @thehoneybeecastielfollows - No summary, you and Misha at a Con but with something to announce

Bucky x Reader 

Canadian Christmas by @marvelsdarling - Reader and Bucky decide to leave town and go to y/n’s family cabin for Christmas, just the two of them.

Just a Scratch by @omg-imagine - Who knew a little scratch could lead to this?

Sebastian Stan x Reader

One Shot by @sunlightdances - you don’t consider yourself an impulsive person, which is why you’re having a hard time believing you’re actually here, in Toronto, surprising Sebastian while he’s on his latest press tour.

Sticky Notes by @mcuimaginesandstuff - Sebastian, your neighbor from across the hall likes to leave you small messages on your door via sticky notes.

[madamslayyy]

Untitled Series XI

PART ONE - PART TWO - PART THREE - INFORMATIONAL DIRECTORY  - PART FOUR - PART FIVE - PART SIX - PART SEVEN - PART EIGHT - PART NINE - PART TEN

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader

A/N: Yeah I know it’s been a min but I’m back on my bullshit so here we go!

~*~

The new semester started and things were back to normal. Well as normal as things could be.

You and Ty were as strong as before and nobody talked about what went down at his parents’ house.

Erik, of course, was back with the start of the new semester, this time single and back to his old Hoe™️ ways. You tried to pretend it didn’t phase you but it did. How could he claim to love you then get over you so quickly. Because you certainly weren’t over him.

You thought about him constantly, obsessing over his social media, watching the numerous videos and snaps of him being twerked on in the club, drinking bottle after bottle, having random girl after random girl perched on his lap. That was almost ninety percent of his social media presence, the other ten percent would show him in class, doing homework, or getting As on whatever assignment he posted.

‘At least he’s still going to class....’ you thought watching his snapstory. You were currently in Ty’s room, on his bed, while Ty was taking a shower. Even though your boyfriend was in the room right next to you, stark naked that is, he couldn’t be farther from your mind. The truth is, whenever Ty did enter your thoughts, you were overwhelmed with such guilt, you had no choice but to push him out of your mind.

No matter how you chose to twist the narrative, the fact remained the same: you’d cheated on him. You might not have slept with Erik but allowing him to get close enough to you to eat you out was still cheating. And you’d been keeping it from Ty for over a month now as it picked away at you. You had tried multiple times to tell him to no avail. At the end of the day, you were a coward.

“Y/N!” Ty said loudly, snapping you from your thoughts.

“Why are you yelling babe?” You asked, as he stood in front of you dripping wet in nothing but a towel.

“I called your name like five times, what’s going on in that head of yours?” He said leaning down to kiss you. You instinctively moved away without even thinking about it.

“Did I.... do something wrong?” Ty asked, his eyes searching yours.

“N-no, I’m just... not feeling it tonight, bae” you spluttered.

“Hmm.... you’ve been ‘not feeling it’ a lot lately. We okay?” Ty asked, sitting up.

“Peachy,” you smiled and with that he got up to get dressed. Even though the subject was dropped, the air was tense and awkward so you left shortly after, your heart sitting heavy in your chest.

~*~

It’d been about two weeks and you hadn’t seen neither Ty nor Erik. You knew you couldn’t avoid them forever but you were most certainly gonna try until you sorted out everything that was going on in your head.

Ty, of course, had no intention of letting that happen.

He called and texted you everyday just to make sure you were alright and when he could see you. You dodged him as much as you could but at the turn of the second week, he’d had enough.

It was almost 5 a.m. in the morning, about two hours before your first class when you heard someone pounding madly at your door. You had just woken up and was in the middle of brushing your teeth when you answered the door.

“Tyrell Beaudreux have you lost your mind!?” You said swinging the door open. He charged into the room, not waiting for an invitation.

“Tell me what I did wrong. What did I do to upset you so much that you’ve been avoiding me for the last couple of weeks? If you tell me, I can fix it Y/N but please baby stop leaving me in the dark,” Ty said, his big brown eyes pleading with you. You felt like you might have thrown up right then right there if your stomach wasn’t already empty since you’d just woke up.

“Hold on,” you said, walking back to your bathroom to finish brushing your teeth, a weak stalling tactic but at least it bought you a few extra seconds.

“Ty.... sit down...” you said entering the bedroom once more. He sat down but his face was contorted into a look of pure anguish. He knew whatever you were about to tell him, it wasn’t going to be good.

“Look Ty... I.... love you so muc-

“And I you, I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you. That’s why we’re in a relationship,” he said standing, cupping your face between his hands. He leaned down to kiss you but you turned your head, causing him to peck your cheek.

“Ty please just let me finish, this is already hard enough as it is. “ He let your face go but remained standing.

“Look, when we were in Montreal... me and Erik... after the kiss... we talked.... the next night that is... and one thing led to another and there was.... another kiss,” you saw Ty flinch but you had no choice but to keep going “and we messed around a bit and it was all just a huge mistake that I regret more than anything and I’m so sorry but it’s not fair to you or me to keep this a secret.” You finished in one single breath, your words rushed. Ty’s eyes were swimming with emotion: anger, hurt, betrayal, everything yet he said nothing.

“What do you mean by fooled around? Did you sleep with him?” Ty asked in a harsh tone you weren’t used to hearing him use ever, least of all with you.

“No! God no! We just made a mistake-

“A mistake, eh? No a mistake was him kissing you when he ‘thought you were Lisa’ which we all know is a right crock of bullshit. No, Y/N, you made a choice, ye. You chose to give yourself to another man when you were supposedly committed to me! So how far did he go, huh? Under your shirt? Between your legs? Is there a part of you he hasn’t seen?” Ty yelled, his face flushing red with anger. You were at a loss for words, your silence a clear admission of guilt.

“Wow,” Ty said, charging for the door.

“And to think I really saw myself with you, eh. Like in the long run, you know. Marriage, picket fence, kids, the whole yard, ye. A right imbecile I was,” Ty said, his Canadian accent coming out strong with his anger.

“I’m sorry Ty! But I still love y-“ you never got to finish that sentence because he slammed the door behind him, his footsteps receding down the hall.

You’d expected some form of Deja Vu to take over from the time Erik had stormed out on you, for you to crumple to the floor and cry yourself into a stupor. But all you felt was an odd numbness take over as you grabbed your clothes and headed to your bathroom to take a shower.

~*~

“Shit Erik! Yes Daddy just like that! Punish this pussy! Fuck me like the dirty slut I am! Kill my shit Papi! Tell me I’m your favorite little whore! Spa-

“Will you shut up?” Erik said, clamping his hand over the girl beneath him’s mouth. He couldn’t remember her name, all he remembered was they headed back to her place after the club, fucked, he fell asleep (like a goddamn idiot), and she woke up horny, begging for round three.

Truthfully, she wasn’t nearly as attractive to him sober as she was last night but he always seemed to focus better in class if he’d busted a nut before so he had no problem complying to her sexual demands.

But he knew this was the last time he’d ever see her. She was much too thin, missing the excessive padding Erik was absolutely obsessed with, and she was also too loud. She was moaning before he even put the tip in and he hated that shit, it felt so inauthentic.

So now he was simply trying to get off as soon as he could so he could get the hell out of there. He had a special memory bank of you stored for moments exactly like these. Thoughts of you that night you offered yourself to him after the club, asking to taste him, eat him, flooded his mind. The sound of your moans were also his favorite, even if it was Ty eliciting those noises from you. And of course the gold that always pushed him over the edge to climax every single time was the memory of that night in Montreal. He’d imagine whatever warm body under him was you, whithering to his touch.

He could still feel your soft skin etched into his brain. Your smell, your breathy groans, your taste.... it took permanent residence in his thoughts and got him over the edge every time. He was so enamoured in his fantasy of you, he hadn’t noticed he’d finished inside the mystery woman until she spoke up.

“Damn papi, that was amazing. Careful with that shit, it’s addictive,” she winked at him. He rolled his eyes and pulled out, tying up the used condom and tucking it in his back pocket of his jeans while he slid them on. Believe it or not, he’d had his fair share of girls try to trap him, for what reason he’d never know. They must realize that he’d never give a shit about them, whether they carried his spawn or not. It was pathetic and always made Erik uneasy. Actually, most things concerning children made him uneasy. He wasn’t father material and he knew it. Hell he wasn’t husband material either, nor boyfriend material, and given how you and him hadn’t spoken to each other in months, he was pretty bad friend material too.

Even with things being dodgy before the whole Winter break fiasco, he knew there was no coming back from this one. It was really over between you two. No communication whatsoever and that was probably for the best. Erik couldn’t control himself around you, couldn’t control his judgement, and couldn’t control his emotions. You made him reckless and raw. And he couldn’t handle it. So he was content with living with the memory of what you two were. He knew the whole “Time Heals All Wounds” notion was bullshit but he did know that it would dim over time. That’s what he kept telling himself at least. To just give it time.

Erik was on his way across campus on his way to class when he saw him. Ty. He looked bad surprisingly. The boy was always light on the facial hair, but he now sported a thick, overgrown beard. If it were the old days when their friendship was strong, he’d recommend him to his barber, get his shit looking crispy like Erik’s, but those days were long gone. He looked like he’d lost weight, which was hard considering he probably couldn’t be more that 120 lbs soaking wet anyway. He also had dark bags under his eyes like he hadn’t got a decent night’s sleep in a while. Overall, he just had a haunted vibe about him, one that only intensified when he laid his dead eyes on Erik.

“Got something you wanna say man?” Erik said, stopping in front of him. Erik was always ready for a fight but he really hoped Ty didn’t take the bait. Even if they weren’t friends anymore, Erik didn’t wanna hit him when he was in this state. It wasn’t right nor fair.

“I hope you’re happy, mate. Finally got what you wanted, eh?” He said in a deadpan voice.

“Wanna run that by me again?” Erik asked as he cocked an eyebrow. Maybe Ty was as crazy as he looked.

“You’ll hurt her. Throw her away the same way you do every fucking body else. Can’t really say I blame you though,” Ty let out a humorless laugh.

“And why is that?” Erik said through gritted teeth.

“Because you’re empty inside. You don’t give a shit about anyone, including yourself. And she’ll realize that. Realize I’ll love her more than you ever could. And she’ll be back,” Ty said, and before Erik could ask one of the numerous questions he had, he walked off.

Erik stood there for another ten solid minutes trying to figure out what the hell Ty was talking about but one thing out of all of this was crystal clear. Y/N and him were over. She was single. And he hadn’t heard a peep from her, which sent the loudest message of all.

She wanted nothing to do with him period. Boyfriend or not. It stung Erik but he knew deep down she never felt the same. So with that, he trailed his way to his class, limbs heavy trying his hardest to not feel the ocean of hurt that ate at his heart.

~*~

A/N: So what yall think? I rewrote this chapter like four times with different scenarios but in the end i decided on this one because I feel it flows easier that their still in college (even though they lowkey about to graduate). But anyway I just wanna say thanks to everyone who interacted with my last chapter and i will be going back and responding those after I post this. Going back and reading all those replies, I just KNEW i couldn’t leave it like that for yall.  Let me know yall’s theories or if you want to be added to/ deleted from the taglist.

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