#<- jason being the honey nut here

[kindlingkeen]

I need to know if I’m alone in this or maybe missing something.

It always bothers me when people say Tim’s childhood was so much worse than Jason’s, or even says they’re the same kinda thing. Am I the only one in this?? (More specifically when they compare them) Like it feels like they’re minimizing Jason’s story to nothing, when it makes his character up as much as his death does. (I’ve even seen people compare Tim’s childhood to Jason’s death, which is. A choice.)

Granted, I’m not a big Tim fan (he’s a cool character, just not the one I focus on) so maybe I’ve missed some part of his canonical backstory or ive subconsciously got something against his character idk.

But from my understanding, Tim is a rich kid who was taken care of (as in, he always had what he needed), just his parents were neglectful? Or away? (Not to say this isn’t bad, of course wouldn’t wish that on a kid either)

But Jason’s lived surrounded by crime and poverty, hell we see panels where he’s hurt and generally not havin a great time.

And I’m fine with people making angst worse because like, favourite character. I’m sure I’m guilty of doing the same to Jason (fave character bias and whatnot) it’s just something that strikes me as odd. But hey, maybe I just don’t know about some canon panel that shows Tim’s childhood as a tragedy where he almost died countless times (another thing I’ve seen fans use)

So yeah. Generally, what do you think about this? I am not too great with character analysis & whatever else, but I like the stuff you’ve said in regards to characters. I know you’re a Jason fan, unsure about how you feel about Tim/how much you know, but curious about your opinion anyway. Thanks.

You are not alone, anon.

You’re also not missing anything in canon, Tim’s childhood was not a tragedy (his parents traveled a lot and he spent his time in boarding school). Were his parents on the neglectful side? Yes. Does that equate to being parentless and living on the street before the age of 12? No. I answered an Ask about Tim a little while ago explaining why I don’t really care much for Tim in the comics or a lot of fanfics. And I only ranted a little about how projecting Jason’s trauma onto Tim is Not. Cool. So maybe check that out.

As for my opinion on this … *takes a deep breath* Let me start by saying that everyone should like what they like, read what they want, write what they want, etc. No judgement or shame intended at all.

But … my opinion is that the enemy-to-caretaker trope is to blame for the over abundance of this dynamic in the fandom.

It seems like this trope grew out of/is a Gen take on enemies-to-lovers. I have absolutely no problem with this trope in general. In fact, I quite enjoy it in certain settings. But the thing is, lovers can be equals. But a caretaker, that has an inherent power imbalance to the relationship. A caretaker takes care of a person who is in some way weaker or less able than them.

So, to make Jason a caretaker for Tim, you somehow have to make Tim weaker, and with time and repetition that’s gotten amplified to much weaker.

The easiest way to do this is to jack up the angst and trauma of Tim’s origin story and increase his overall vulnerability. Because in reality, the inherent power imbalance between Jason and Tim is not that significant. Jason is only two years older than Tim. They’re both supposed to be badass vigilantes who can fight and solve crimes. Tim’s home life was loads more stable and supportive.

Play a few games of fanfic telephone, and all of a sudden you have a baseline of touch-starved Timmy who was made to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs as a wee little niblet and then Lazarus-mad Jason came along and tried to murder him repeatedly (nope), slit his throat (‘twas but a scratch), and generally traumatized him beyond repair (Tim is Robin, pretty sure he’s been beaten up before). 🤦‍♀️

That’s my opinion, anon! Thanks for the ask! 💙

[strangedreamings]

S2E6 (spoilers abound)

Do we have to see Jaehaerys' body in the opening credits every week now?

Hi, Jason! Glad to see you're just as full of yourself as ever. He doesn't want to make a move without Aemond and Vhagar. Wow, and here I thought Tyland got all the brains.

"I am the Prince Regent, not a dog to be called to heel." Honey, you're both, and the sooner you can accept that, the happier all of us will be.

Ironrod suggests marrying Alicent to the Red Kraken (the current Lord Greyjoy). Dude, who do you think you are, Otto Hightower?

"The longer we wait, the more chance (Daemon) will prevail." No, no, keep waiting -- Alys and the curse of Harrenhal will drive him completely mad soon enough.

"My uncle is a challenge I welcome, if he dares to face me." I don't know how to break this to you, Aemond, but this crush of yours is not reciprocated.

Aemond fires Alicent from the Small Council and is a misogynistic dick about it. Alicent accuses him of still being angry about losing an eye. Honey, you're the one who wanted his nephew's eye taken in revenge, where did you think talk like that would lead?

Corlys wearing his Hand of the Queen pin. It looks good on you, dude.

Ah, the Sowing of the Dragonseeds. Rhaenyra's desperation for additional dragonriders is going to get a bunch of people killed or maimed.

The Small Council knows she is reaching and for fucking once, I agree with them. Maybe they'd take her seriously if she didn't sound like she was talking to her younger children.

Ser Steffon has so little Targ blood in him that it's not going to matter. Rhaenyra, this is such a dumb idea.

"Then perhaps the gods will favor us." Not unless the writers are going off-book (again).

Hi, Daemon. Which dead family member are you going to see tonight?

And he's back in the throne room, lovely. "The Heir for a Day" shit again? That must be really pressing on Daemon's conscience now that Viserys is dead.

Speaking of, hi, Viserys! Good to see you in (relative) health again. I hope HBO is paying all these cameo actors well, they all seem to be having a blast tormenting Daemon again (who looks truly devastated right now). HBO, you'd better be getting Matt's For Your Consideration campaign ready for next year's Emmys.

Ooo, a Rhea mention, even if we don't see her! I'll take it.

It's entirely possible that none of this is actually Alys or the curse's doing -- Daemon's conscience has more than enough fodder to torment him with. He hurt his brother, all three of his wives, and his daughters. It's about time all of that bothered him.

"...Stop watching me." And you still think you're fit to take KL by yourself? You're never leaving the Riverlands, Daemon.

"Daemon Targaryen asking for help?" "Counsel." He's losing his mind one night at a time but dammit, he's still got his wit.

"In three days' time, the winds will shift." Grover Tully is gonna die.

It's so dark in this cave that I can't tell which dragon that is. In the book, Steffon attempts to ride Seasmoke. Oh, it is Seasmoke. Thank God somebody said his name because he looks nearly black in the darkness.

"Do not show fear." Too late, Steffon is freaking the fuck out.

Just burn/eat him already, the tension is driving me nuts.

Is that dragontamer seriously just holding a long stick? Against a giant fire-breathing flying reptile?

Finally! Holy shit, that took FOREVER.

The Hull brothers are so goddamn hot. But don't think I didn't notice, Ryan, that the first person we see after Seasmoke's little barbecue is Addam. :P

So, is this madam TRYING to start a rebellion or what? "And his rightful heir denied her seat." Yep, she's trying.

"You have forgotten to fear me." You're going to have to do more than slap him, Rhaenyra.

Oh, the madam is working for Mysaria, got it. This really could work.

"This becomes you." Yeah, a sword in her hand so she can actually do her own fighting. Too bad nobody taught her how to use it.

Didn't the French Revolution start because of a famine? The smallfolk don't care who's on the throne as long as their bellies are full.

Oh Dear God, Otto as Hand to Aemond? Well, at least those Small Council meetings won't be boring.

Aemond's going to smother Aegon II with a pillow, I just know it. Aegon whimpers when he sees Aemond and you can't blame him. TGC is killing it with the agony, he needs a For Your Consideration campaign too.

"I remember nothing." I don't believe you and, unfortunately, Aemond doesn't either.

Rhaena and Joffrey come across a scorched area but they're in the Vale, who could've done that? Now she's in Aegon III and Viserys II's nursery with the boys and a baby dragon that I assume is Aegon's Stormcloud. Cute little dragon.

"You hate it here." Jeyne, you're not doing a damn thing to change her mind.

"Wild." So, are we talking Grey Ghost, the Cannibal, or Sheepstealer? Fuck, I guess this means the Rhaena-Nettles fusion rumor is true, if the wild dragon is Sheepstealer.

Rhaenyra is sending care packages to the people of KL. I fucking LOVE this!

Dammit, I don't want to like Gwayne Hightower but the actor has been making that fucking difficult. "He's kind." The delivery of that, you can tell Gwayne knows that's what Alicent wants to hear.

Rioting in the streets over Rhaenyra's care packages. Okay, maybe this was a bad idea, but it's certainly sowing rebellion.

Larys was born at Harrenhal? That explains SO MUCH. Him aligning himself with Aegon II is interesting and he's right, Aemond wants to kill his brother. Let's see where this goes.

Daemon's vision again. Looks like Aemma's death, great. I truly think Daemon loved Viserys, he was just too self-centered to express that love properly.

"Lord Grover is dead." Called it! Oh, Alys absolutely fucking killed him.

Addam and Seasmoke. Seasmoke misses Laenor and he can presumably tell that Addam is Laenor's kinsman (half-brother).

Is Seasmoke LAUGHING at Addam?

Holy fucking shit, I did not appreciate that jump scare!

Mysaria's backstory is fucking dark, even for GRRM.

Well, this is a ship I never thought I'd see on this show. I don't ship it but I'm sure there are fans out there who are absolutely thrilled right now.

Rhaenyra on Syrax, there's something we haven't seen in a while.

They're ending the episode there? We know it's Addam on Seasmoke, this isn't exactly news to the audience. Bah.

Preview for next week. "With these dragons, peace will be restored." *laughs from having read "Fire and Blood"* And they call Helaena a Dreamer.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

The Spin Out

Fandom: Batman, DC Comics

Summary: Jason Todd returns to Gotham after three years for the final time to win enough money to pay off Sheila’s debts.

Chapters: 5/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Sheila Haywood, Original Character(s), Bruce Wayne

Relationships: Jason Todd/Original Character

Additional Tags: Street Racing AU, No Capes AU, Jason Todd-centric, Hurt Jason Todd, Bad Parent Sheila Haywood, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Organized Crime, Jason Todd has Trust Issues, Jason Todd is Not Okay, Good Person Jason Todd, Stalker Bruce Wayne, Secret Identities, Secrets, Angst

Chapter Five: Noise

Jason worked until six-thirty and watched Honey lock up. “You’re not bad… You’ll make assistant manager in no time—.” 

“Oh, I don’t plan on staying long. This is a summer gig,” Jason interrupted. Honey looked at him. 

“An eighteen-year-old kid uprooting his whole life to work at a garage in Gotham? What’s your deal?” Honey asked. 

“Financial trouble… And my friend helped me get a job here,” Jason replied, “And rent is dirt cheap, so I can save more money.” 

“We have dinner at someone’s house once a week, and this week it’s Morgan’s if you’d like to come tonight,” Honey suggested. 

“I would love to, but I made plans with someone tonight. Thank you, though. I appreciate that you invited me,” Jason smiled as he grabbed his helmet. “And thank you for being so patient with me.” 

“You didn’t require any patience. You work faster than people who’ve been here for years. See you at noon,” Honey reassured him. Jason smiled. 

“See you tomorrow, Honey,” Jason replied. Jason hopped on his bike, put his helmet on, and rode home. 

He took his coveralls in the doorway and tossed them in the hamper before taking the note out of his sock. “Dear Jay, this time with you has been an adventure. I can’t wait to have you in the sunlight where you glimmer and gleam. Things will be different someday. We’ll settle in a place with a warm climate, and you’ll be happy. I know you don’t belong in Gotham. You shine too brightly for the grim and grey darkness of that city. 

“My sweet boy. Until then, we live like outlaws. Love, Mommy,” Jason read the note aloud. He hated when she used that word, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her. Outlaws. He didn’t leave Gotham to live the life of a criminal, bouncing from country to country, and never settling anywhere. 

He showered and changed into a striped t-shirt and loose-fitting jeans. He didn’t bother with his hair. Jason lit a cigarette and smoked on the fire escape. His phone rang. “Hi, Uncle Jeremy,” Jason whispered. He blew smoke through his nose.

“How was your first day?” Jeremy asked. 

“It was alright. The garage is nicer than some of the ones I worked in. I’m shadowing a lady named Honey, and she’s nice,” Jason replied. 

“Pretty?” Jeremy asked.

“Oh… Um… I don’t have a crush on her, but I guess she’s pretty,” Jason answered. “Um… I’m gonna pick something up tomorrow at the store before dinner. What do the kids like?” 

“Jace you don’t have to—.” 

“Please,” Jason interrupted. 

“Brownies… No nuts, though. No one’s allergic. We don’t like ‘em,” Jeremy replied. Jason smiled.

“Cool, I can do that,” Jason replied, “And Uncle Jeremy?” 

“Yeah?” Jeremy questioned. 

“I—. When should I start worrying about nightmares?” Jason asked. 

“You’re having nightmares again?” Jeremy questioned. Jason made a soft noise. 

“Jace, can I ask you what your nightmares are about?” 

“Um… I—. I don’t know,” Jason mumbled. A lie. 

“How often are you having them? If it’s on and off every once in a while—.” 

“I’m having nightmares every night… Whenever I close my eyes. It started happening two weeks ago,” Jason explained. 

“And you don’t know what the nightmares are about?” Jeremy questioned. Jason didn’t answer. “You don’t have to tell me what they’re about if it makes you feel better.” 

“I know what they’re about… I haven’t had dreams like this ever,” Jason replied, “And I can’t help but feel like something’s wrong with me… Something—.”

“Jason, do you wanna come by? Wanna talk face-to-face?” Jeremy interrupted. Jason took a long drag from his cigarette and choked. “Jason, what are you doing?” 

“Standing on the fire escape, having a ciggie,” Jason answered. He took another drag, blew out air, and spat. 

“A ciggie… I see your six months in Australia didn’t change you,” Jeremy teased. Jason chuckled. “Wanna come over? You don’t have to meet anyone—.” 

“That’d be rude. I can’t—. I can’t do that. Thank you, though. Thanks, Uncle Jeremy,” Jason stammered, “I’ll be there for dinner tomorrow night, but I think—. I’m gonna take a ride to clear my head.” 

“Okay. Be safe, Kiddo… And get something to eat,” Jeremy whispered, “If you change your mind, you can stop by any time.” 

“Thanks, and I will,” Jason sighed as he put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the windowsill. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” 

“Sounds good. I look forward to seeing you, too,” Jeremy replied. Jason hung up, grabbing his jacket and helmet on his way out. He drove to a club in the diamond district. They let him in, and he ordered a drink at the bar. The noise canceled out his thoughts. 

“Vodka soda on the rocks, please,” Jason requested. It’d been two years.  Twenty-six months since Jason stepped foot in Gotham. He remembered his last week there in flashes. Arguments. Spinning out on empty roads. Clutching his birth certificate on the plane ride to Ethiopia. He didn’t say goodbye. 

It didn’t take Jason long to get drunk. He didn’t drink often, so his tolerance was low. Jason found himself on the dancefloor. He glanced at his phone, realizing that he’d lost an hour. He felt hands travel up his chest and underneath his shirt. He removed the hands and left the club without looking back. He didn’t drive. He couldn’t. He called Jeremy. ���Hey, Kid,” Jeremy whispered, “You okay?”

“Can ya come gemme?” Jason slurred.

“Oh, god… Okay—.”

“I’m sorry,” Jason mumbled with tears in his eyes.

“It’s—.”

“I’m sorry, Uncle Jermy,” Jason cried, “I dun’—.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not mad. Send me your location... And while you do that, can you tell me what happened?” Jeremy asked. 

Jason staggered toward the trash can and threw up. “Michael?” Jeremy asked. 

“I feel sick… I wanna go home,” Jason muttered as he clumsily sent Jeremy his location.

“I’ll get you. Stay on the phone… Talk to me,” Jeremy requested. Jason made a soft noise. “It’s good to be close to family when things like this happen. I was much worse when I was your age. I remember when your dad had to swim to save me because I jumped off a bridge in my skivvies. I was half-frozen and bruised from smacking the water… Actually… Willis and I were pretty tight back then.” Jeremy chuckled. 

“When?” Jason asked.

“Hm… I think—. Oh, that’s right! I was sixteen, so it was a year before you came along. It was one of the last times we hung out,” Jeremy answered, “He must’ve chewed me out the whole way home. Sheila was at work, so he let me borrow some of his clothes, and I stayed the night. I remember because he had Seven on VHS.”

Jason’s breathing slowed as he wiped his eyes. “I’ve never seen it,” Jason replied.

“We should watch it sometime,” Jeremy replied, “I think your old man would’ve liked us to be close.” 

“You think so?” Jason asked. 

“Mhm… Are you alright? I’m almost there,” Jeremy stated coolly. 

“Uh-huh. Uncle Juh—.” Jason gagged. “Uncle Jeremy, are you sure you’re not mad?” 

“I’m not mad at you… You’re my only nephew. You were right to call me,” Jeremy replied.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Creepypasta’s As: Quotes On My Laptop And Phone

Right so this has been stewing in my drafts for forever and it was just supposed to be something quick and fun but turned out be harder then I thought so not all the characters are here but I got most of them! Don’t really know who the audience for this apart from me but ah... ?enjoy? 

BEN Drowned: You don’t get to die and be reborn the same. You come back, but you come back wrong. This is the price you pay for resurrection. – Nathanial Orion G. K

Bloody Painter / Helen Otis: I hope that someday when I’m gone, someone, somewhere, picks my soul up off these pages and thinks: I would have loved her him. – Nicole Lyons

Candy Cane: Come away, O human child To the waters and the wood with a fairy, hand in hand. For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand. – Willian Butler Yeats

Candy Pop: Turn on you before you turn on us. We’re all just savages. – Theory of a Deadman, Savages

Candy Cane and Candy Pop: Forgive, sounds good. Forget? … I’m not sure I could. – Dixie Chicks, Not Ready To Make Nice

Clockwork / Natalie Ouellette: This woman that I’m becoming gives me chills. I’m obligated to move differently. I have work to do. – ???

Eyeless Jack: You don’t get to die and be reborn the same. You come back, but you come back wrong. This is the price you pay for resurrection. – Nathaniel G. K

Hobo Heart: I’m not used to being loved; I wouldn’t know what to do. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Homicidal Liu / Sully: If I told you how it all ended; Would you have done it? – ???

·         Extra for Liu: The seas were getting rough, but I thought we were worth it. – Hunter Hayes, You Think You Know Somebody

·         Extra for Liu and Silly: I am not a bad man… Even though I do bad things. Very bad things. Such horrible things… But it's not quite what it seems. (Not quite what he seems) Not quite what I seem… … … Aw, hell. It's exactly what it seems. – Creature Feature, Such horrible Things

Hoodie / Brian: Remember that I am still a monster. I can listen to you scream, and cry, and beg, and I still wont le you out. – Holly Black, The Coldest Girl in Coldtown

Jane the Killer / Jane Richardson: She could never be a saint, but she thought she could be a martyr, if they killed her quick. – Flannery O’ Connor, A Temple of the Holy Ghost

Jason the Toymaker: [Said to him] You’re a tragedy! She was leaving you, Pan. Your Wendy is leaving you. Why should she stay? You are incomplete. She’d rather grow up then stay with you. – Captain Hook, Peter Pan 2003

Jeff the Killer / Jeffry Woods: [Liu, on Jeff] Once you lose someone, it is never exactly the same person who comes back. – Sharon Olds, Satan Says

·         Extra for Jeff: Do you know what happens when you light a fire in you? It burns everything that’s standing in the way. – ???

·         Extra for Jeff and Liu: And if the black banners raise as the crooked smiles fade; Fallen heroes who quite too late. – Fall Out Boy, The Kid’s Aren’t Alright

Laughing Jack: Forever is a long, long time… And time has a way of changing things. – Willow Tweed, The Fox and the Hound

·         Extra for L.J: This is how the world works; You gotta leave before you get left. – Taylor Swift, I Did Something Bad

·         Extra for L.J #2: All this has happened before. And it will all happen, again… - J. M. Barrie, Peter Pan

Laughing Jill: [L.Jill, to Mary’s father] You didn’t realise that in breaking my heart you were strengthening my soul. You didn’t realise but I did. And it changed the whole goddamn game once and for all. – Niharika Bhatt

Masky / Tim: I needed to be somewhere different. Maybe I needed to be someone different, too. – Heather Davis

Nathan the Nobody / Nathan Lux: Just because she’s gone, doesn’t mean she’s gone in your heart. Because the worst thing ever is to forget. – Christina, Allegiant

Nina the Killer / Nina Hopkins: When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it. – Caitlyn Siehl

·         Extra for Nina: Maybe our favourite quotations say more about us than about the stories and the people we’re quoting. – John Green

Offenderman: [Said to him] There isn’t a decent thought in your nasty little mind! – ???

·         Extra for Offender: [‘Him’ instead of ‘Witch’] When you visit a witch, bring an offering: Food, tobacco, alcohol, secrets, sex, or death. – Honest Louis

Sally Williams: Real monsters are human. – ???

·         Extra for Sally: I’m sorry this world could not keep you safe. May your journey home be a soft, and peaceful one. – Rupi Kuar

Slenderman: Heroes are always remembered. But legends never die. – Babe Ruth

·         Extra for Slender: Do not believe anything except the whispers of the trees. They have never lied to you. They won’t start now. – ??? Maybe Nikita Gil?

·         Extra #2 for Slender: The fuckers. There, I feel better. Goddamned Human race. There, I feel better. – Charles Bukowski

·         Extra #3 for Slender: Forests hide secrets - he said gently, - It’s practically what they’re for. To hide things. To separate one world from another. – Catherynne M. Valente

Splenderman: I believe this world ain’t half as bad as it looks, I believe most people are good. – Luke Bryan, Most People Are Good

·         Extra for Splender: A little consideration, I little thought for others, makes all the difference. – Eeyore

Ticci Toby / Toby Erin Rogers: I make no apologies, for how I choose to repair, what you broke. – Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy

Trenderman: My whole being calls for an act of violence, but I still wear velvet gloves. – Anaïs Nin

Zalgo: Funny. Cause I look around at this world you’re so eager to be a part of and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for fastest ride out. Who’s not crazy? Look around. Everyone’s drinking, smoking, shooting up, or just plain screwing their brains out, cuz they don’t want ‘em anymore. I’m crazy? Honey, I’m the original one-eyed chicken in the kingdom of the blind; Cuz at least I admit the world makes me nuts. – Glory, Buffy The Vampire Slayer

·         Extra for Zalgo: God’s busy. Can I help you? – Pinhead, Hellraiser

[miraculous786]

Adrien and tim being conspiracy nuts together? I feel like if adrien could do his own thing he would end up believing some crazy conspiracy. Add a very sleep deprived tim who is running three days worth of coffee amd i can see the two making up some very crazy/entertaining conspiracys

Masterlist

Crazy Coffee Conspiracies

"Hey, Mari?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you read about this?"

The woman that Adrien was talking to shook her head, not bothering to look up. Her fingers were occupied with weaving a needle in and out of a sheet of fabric, that was a dark shade of scarlet.

"There's been a conspiracy theory floating around Tumblr about Ladybird and Red Robin."

"Really?" Marinette asked in an amused tone.

"Yep. People are saying that the two are dating and both aliens from different planets."

She froze in her stitching.

"...What?"

"Crazy, right? And there's loads of proof!" he exclaimed. "For starters, they always patrol together. Second, there's been pictures of them holding hands for god knows how long. Third, did you see what happened with the Riddler last weekend? They ripped into him so much that he started crying! #CoupleGoals!"

"...Did you just say hashta-"

"So, do you think it could be true?"

Marinette pursed her lips, whilst absentmindedly poking at a few pins stuck to a pin cushion nearby. "Ehh, what the hell, sure. Just give me some solid proof of all the alien stuff and I'm on board with the theory."

"Already on it!" Adrien said with a grin, as he stood up from the sofa he was sat at. Then, he made his way over to the front door, but not before bidding, "I'll be back later with some evidence."

As soon as the door shut, the designer shook her head, proceeding to carry on with her work.

"I'm not an alien," she muttered to herself. "At least...I don't think so."

~*~*~

"Hi Tim! Whatcha got there?"

"...A smoothie."

Adrien watched as the CEO sipped out of a pink mug, that contained a chocolate brown liquid within. Cream and bubbles sat atop the surface of it.

"Are you sure that's a smoothie?"

Squinting blue eyes glanced at him in confusion. "It's coffee, what are you talking about?"

"...Nevermind."

He situated himself at the kitchen counter that Tim was leaning on, and started, "I wanted to ask you for some help on a theory I've stumbled upon."

"Sure," the answer was, as the man in the room took another gulp of his sugary beverage. "What's the theory?"

"That Ladybird and Red Robin are aliens."

There was a moment of silence.

"...Huh. Is there any evidence?"

"Thaaat's what I actually needed help with," Adrien revealed. "I want to convince Mari that's it's true, since I actually think it is."

Tim gained a slightly confused expression on his features, prompting the blond to elaborate, "Marinette. You're girlfriend?"

He gazed to the side a bit, then spoke in a daze, "Y-Yeah, my...my girlfriend."

"Are you okay? When's the last time you slept?"

"Sleep is for the weak. Now, I believe you said something about Mari- I mean, Ladybird being an alien?"

~*~*~

"So, Pixie, any news you got for us?"

"There is, yes. I've managed to get a lease to open up an MDC store in Gotham, actually."

"Where?"

Marinette turned to Bruce with a wide smile. "There's a reason I didn't say. I don't want you guys to come and buy everything on my shelves anytime soon."

"Oh, c'mon, you know we wouldn't!" Dick whined with a pout. At the flat look he got, he backtracked, "Well, maybe we would, but-"

The oldest cut himself off when the lights in the living room dimmed, followed by the television screen nearby lighting up. It revealed what seemed to be a chart of some sort, though the scale and readings were confusing, to say the least.

"Attention all of the Wayne Family," a voice boomed from the entrance of the place, making everyone snap their heads there. The sight of Tim with a pointing stick in his hands met them. "I have gathered you here today to discuss a conspiracy that - after filing through the amount of evidence I have - will be proved true."

"Replacement, what the hell? 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' was on."

"Oh no..." Marinette groaned, head held in her hands.

"...and so to prove that they are indeed aliens in a relationship, I present you this."

The TV soon projected a screenshot of a Tumblr post, that had parts of its text circled in red.

"As the user 'NoobMaster69' explains, Red Robin has frequently been seen to only be living off of coffee and 'Five Hour Energy'. How else could one do such a thing without eating? Or drinking anything else? Well, it's simple. He must be an alien."

Adrien, who had suddenly appeared beside the rest of the family, nodded along with a determined gaze, but then raised a hand. "But what about Ladybird? How is she one?"

"There isn't much to say about her," Tim replied. "How does all of the damage caused in any of her escapades get reversed? How was she able to befriend the Sirens? How is she able to date an alien from another planet? Easy - she has to be one too."

Everyone in the room remained quiet for another few seconds, until Marinette decided to speak up. "Honey, what the actual f-"

"Hey. No bad language, Pixie," Jason hushed with a hand covering her mouth. "But seriously Timbers, what are you even doing right now? When was the last time you slept?"

"...Sleep is for the-"

"Weak, we know."

Dick sent his brother a worried look. "Tim, you do realise that you're Red Robin, right? And that you're girlfriend is Ladybird? Marinette here?"

There was no answer. Bloodshot eyes simply shone in confusion.

"Master Dick, I do believe that you mean fiancée when speaking of Miss Marinette."

"...WHAT?!"

"Wait, you guys didn't know? I thought Tim told you after he proposed to me, didn't he?"

"Wha- Pixie, no! We had no idea!"

The bluenette let out a tired sigh. "Great."

There was a poke at her shoulder, causing her to turn her head to a wide-eyed Adrien, who was studying them all in panic.

"Y-You're Ladybird?" he asked in disbelief.

"Great job, Replacement. You've just shared your identity and Pixie's here with someone else."

"What identity? I'm not Batman."

"You're Red Robin, Drake. It doesn't take a genius to tell that you're the same."

~*~*~

@soupfilledboots @northernbluetongue @moonystars14

@zebrabaker - Thank you for the help on figuring out the name of ‘Five Hour Energy’! :D

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

More Than You Bargained For: The Party Timestamp

Summary: Jensen’s not too excited to be going to a party with the reader but she ends up making his night in another way...

Masterlist

Pairing: Ex-Bodyguard!Jensen x reader

Word Count: 2,400ish

Warnings: language

“Do I have to go?” groaned Jensen. He stood by the bottom of the stairs with a pout on his face, Jared snickering from the hall. “Shut it, Padalecki or I’ll make you go as her date.”

“Sorry but you are officially on bodyguard duty, Mr. Ackles. I got a hot date myself tonight,” said Jared. You sighed as you stepped down the stairs, Jensen smiling up at you. “Would you look at that? She’s not the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Kiss my ass, Jared,” you said with a smile.

“You look very beautiful,” said Jared.

“Gen picked it out,” you said with a wink. “Speaking of which, get out of here on your romantic weekend away. We got it from here.”

“Alright, I’m gone,” he said. “Call me in an emergency.”

“Goodnight, Jared,” said Jensen.

“Have fun guys,” said Jared, heading down the hall and out the front door. You smiled as you stood on the last step, fixing Jensen’s bowtie, giggling when he started to cross his eyes.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Do I have to?” he whined again. “I’ll give you all the sex and brownies you want? You like both of those things.”

“I do like both those things a lot, but I need a date and my other husband wasn’t available,” you teased.

“Had to marry a fucking famous person didn’t I,” he sighed. “Spoiled brat.”

“Asshole bodyguard,” you said, leaning up as he came down for a kiss. “I won’t tell anyone you’re actually sweeter than molasses.”

“Only if I don’t let it slip that you’re the hardest working, most amazing and kind person I’ve ever met and that your favorite fancy store is Target,” he said.

“I fucking love the shit out of that store,” you said.

“I know. You were there for three hours on Sunday. Toothpaste. I asked for one tube of toothpaste. You came home with three shirts, two throw pillows, a cookbook and a coffee mug. Oh, and no toothpaste,” he said, flashing you a smile.

“I went back and got it,” you said with a laugh. “What’s up with you? You’re extra nervous tonight. This isn’t the first time you’ve ever gone with me to an event.”

“S’first time since I was gone…” he said, glancing down at his wrist, a faded thin scar over the top of it. “I’m not the bodyguard anymore. I’m your husband. Your previously kidnapped husband. There’s going to be attention on me whether I want it or not.”

“I know,” you said softly. “All you have to do is stand there, smile and get your picture taken for two seconds. Alex will get you out of there and into the party like that, I promise. We already went over it.”

“Who’s going to be with you then?” he said.

“Jensen. I’ll be fine on my own for a little while. You being comfortable is what’s important to me,” you said. “Plus you know I can kick ass, even in heels.”

“Alright,” he said. You finished with his tie, smoothing out his jacket before you stepped onto the ground and into your heels. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” you said. You walked with him to the front door, spinning around and holding up a finger.

“Forget something?” he asked.

“Yup,” you said, opening your clutch and pulling out a strip of fabric.

“Whatcha doin’?” he asked.

“Trust me?” you asked. He nodded and you tied it over his eyes, Jensen smiling when you finished. “All set?”

“Sure...what are you up to?” he teased.

“Covert mission. Like some special ops level stuff. Don’t worry about it,” you said, grabbing his hand.

“Oh, do you get to be my bodyguard? I think I like that game,” he said, chuckling as you pulled him outside. “Dammit. Part of me really wishes you were going to drag me upstairs and have your way with me.”

“Don’t you worry, I’ll be sure to do that later on,” you said, kissing his cheek.

“You better,” he said. You got him in the passenger seat before you were off down the road, spotting Jensen touching his face out of the corner of your eye.

“Leave it, Jensen,” you said. “Don’t ruin the surprise.”

“I don’t like not knowing where we’re going,” he said.

“We’re going to the party,” you said. “There’s going to be a surprise when we get there. Can you keep it on for me, please?”

“Mhm,” he said. When you were stopped at a light, you reached over and held his hand, Jensen humming to himself.

About fifteen minutes later you pulled into a parking spot, helping Jensen out as you saw his ears perk up.

“No, no. No bodyguard mode, just enjoy the surprise,” you said.

“Fine,” he grumbled. He let you hold his arm as you led him into a building and down a hall, his head unable to help but turn and try to figure it out. You put him at a stop outside the room, leaning up to give him a kiss. “Alright, I think I could get use to this if you keep that up.”

“Down boy,” you laughed. “Alright, alright. I know you’re getting antsy.”

You reached up and undid his blindfold, Jensen looking around.

“Snuck me in the back to the party?” he teased. “I thought you wanted to show off your smokin’ hot husband.”

“Oh? Now he’s cocky,” you said. “I figured you’d like this better.”

“A little. I knew what I was getting into though when I married you. I can be the center of attention a little bit for you,” he said.

“I’m glad,” you said, more than glad he just assumed you were at another event and not actually in the back of his favorite restaurant. “Let’s head on in then.”

You smiled as he held your hand and you went for the pair of double doors leading to the event room you’d rented out.

“Happy birthday!” he was greeted with the second you opened the doors. He opened his mouth a few times before he spun to look at you, shaking his head.

“I knew you were being sneaky!” he said, biting his bottom lip. “I should have known.”

“You have no idea how hard it is to plan a surprise birthday party for you,” you said. “And actually surprise you.”

“There was definitely some covert ops going on,” said Jared, Gen right by his side. “We had a little help though.”

Jensen turned and saw a group of guys heading for him, his face in a big smile.

“No way! I thought you guys were overseas and-“

“And when your little wifey got a hold of us, of course we came. Not like we missed the wedding or any of the other shit that’s happened since,” said Mark.

“Did you really get stabbed by a serial killer?” asked Jason.

“I’m more curious how that sweet girl took the freak down and saved Ackles’ ass,” said Lyle.

“Oh? Is that what everyone thinks happen?” asked Jensen, cocking his head at you.

“S’what I remember,” you said with a smile.

“Of course it is,” he teased.

“Go, catch up with your friends,” you said, pushing him towards his special ops buddies, some of his teacher friends joining in. “I know it’s been a while, honey.”

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“So...should I be expecting this elaborate of a birthday party for myself?” asked Alex after you’d left Jensen’s parents somewhere by the food table.

“I’ll buy ya a happy meal at the drive thru if you get me an extra week off work,” you said. He chuckled, smirking as you both watched Jensen on the other side of the room. “Do you think he was actually surprised?”

“I think throwing him a surprise party two months after his birthday certainly threw him off. Hard to surprise a guy like that,” said Alex.

“Think he’s noticed I’m not drinking yet?” you asked, giving Alex a shy smile.

“He probably thinks you’re just being a good DD. When you going to tell him?” he asked.

“When we get home,” you said. “Think you’re ready to be an Uncle?”

“Eh, I dealt with your whiney little butt and Jensen. How hard’s a baby?” he said.

“Still dealing with my whiney little butt,” you said, leaning back in your chair.

“You never whined,” he said after a moment. You turned your head, Alex not looking at you. “You were just...afraid. Of a lot. Then you were just lonely and you chose a career that’s extremely lonely and why do you think I came to be your manager? To watch your back.”

“Dad told me that once,” you said quietly. “We had a fight over something stupid, you and me. I think I called him to vent and he revealed to me that you just said one day you were going to finish your degree online and be my manager and that was it. He told me to remember that whenever you drove me nuts.”

“Like when I tricked you into a bodyguard?” he teased. “Bet you love that decision now.”

“It made me feel small again,” you said, his face finding yours. “Jensen sort of terrified me he was so...he had me memorize like a hundred rules. I couldn’t get any privacy, it felt like he was watching me all the time...but his job was to do those things, not because he or anyone else wanted to control me. He was just keeping me safe.”

“On the bright side, he’s like a ball of fluff under the hard shell,” he said.

“Ain’t so hard nowadays. Someone else was a little lonely too,” you said. Jensen gave you a wave as he walked over before curling his finger at you.

“Mind if I steal this one?” asked Jensen, holding out a hand for you.

“Nah. I got a fiancé to go find and harass myself,” said Alex.

“I taught him so well,” teased Jensen, pulling you to your feet and over toward a quiet corner. “I haven’t seen you much tonight, my buddies have been hogging me. Must be what it feels like to be you.”

“Jens,” you said.

“Walk with me?” he asked. You hummed and followed him outside, finding yourselves out on the sidewalk, his pace slow. “So...something you want to tell me?”

“Seriously? How do you always do that? I bet the freaking doctors office gave it away. I swore I told them not to tell dad anything until I-“

“Dad?” he said, stopping in his tracks. You went wide eyed, a smile creeping onto his face. “Are...am I going to be a dad?”

“I bought cute little boots and everything to surprise you when we got home,” you said with a nod, Jensen throwing his arms around you. “Yeah, you’re a dad. Even if I totally ruined my own surprise.”

“A baby…” he said, smiling at your stomach. “Okay, I will admit I was surprised by the party and suspected you were planning something else tonight but this one takes the cake. How long have you known?”

“I found out earlier this week. I thought I was working too hard and that’s why I was late and then I remembered what we did on your actual birthday and...you did say you had a good feeling on it after all,” you said.

“Baby,” he said, tentatively reaching his hand out, your own grabbing it and giggling as he rested it against your stomach. “We made a baby.”

“Yeah, we did,” you said. “Are you happy?”

“More than,” he said back, running his thumb over your dress. “It’s just funny is all.”

“What is?” you asked.

“This is going to be the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life, which is saying something, but I can’t wait,” he said.

“You know I’m glad my brother hired a psychopath. Never would have found you,” you said.

“I can just hear you telling the story of how mom and dad met to this kid someday,” he laughed. “They’ll never believe it.”

“That’s a long ways away,” you said.

“Thank you, honey,” he said, pulling you into another hug. “I feel normal. You made me feel so normal again after everything that happened in my life.”

“Our lives are so not normal,” you said.

“Maybe they aren’t but you are and I am and we’re going to have a baby that has two good parents,” he said.

“Jensen?” you asked. He hummed, lightly spinning you around. “You want to go tell your family the good news?”

“In a minute. I want to remember this next time I have a not so great day,” he said.

“Okay, sweetie...Jens, there is another surprise actually,” you said, ducking your head down.

“What?” he asked, looking back but you turned his face to you.

“I had an ultrasound, it was eight weeks and all so…” you said.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Babies, Jensen. Babies,” you said. He tilted his head, looking down at your stomach.

“Bab...more than...two? Twins? We made…” he said.

“Twins,” you said with a smile. “I’m thinking one of each but it’s still early to be betting.”

“Two babies,” he said, shaking his head with a laugh.

“Actually triplets,” you said, his eyes wide. “I’m just messing with you. It’s twins.”

“You were two seconds away from me having a heart attack,” he said, taking a deep breath. “How the...screw it, we figured it out so far. We can do this too.”

“Well my brother knows but even he doesn’t know it’s twins if you want to one up everybody in there,” you said.

“Definitely,” he said, giving you a kiss. “Love you, princess.”

“Really?” you said, Jensen chuckling as he skirted away and you laughed, trying to throw your shoe at him. “Asshole! You know I hate that.”

“I love you too, princess!”

[headcanonfantasy]

Apple Pie life with an Angel, a new God and a dog-A Destiel fic

“I love you.” Castiel struggled as Dean began to cry angrily.

“Don’t do this Cas.” Dean whimpered as he ran to Cas. Cas pushed him away.

“Goodbye, Dean.” Cas started as the Empty began to pour in.

“NO!” Dean roared out as he ran to Cas. “Don’t do this, not without me. You changed me just as much as I did you, Cas. I need you. I want nothing more than to be with you. You leave me, I have NOTHING, Cas.” Dean touched his forehead as tears streamed harder down his face. “I love you.” Dean then kissed Cas deeply, Cas struggling to push Dean away, but Dean was too strong as he held onto his trenchcoat, the Empty coating the both of them in its goo as both men were sucked into the Empty together, Dean never letting go. As they disappeared in tar-like ooze, the only sound in the dungeon was Sam calling Dean’s phone.

..............................................................................................................................

Sam found it hard to sleep, as did Jack. The two men found it hard to cope.

“Without Dean and Cas, we’re sunk. Do you know where we can find Amara? We could use her help.” Sam said as he drank a beer.

“We could also use Dad’s help. He was right about Grandpa to begin with.” Jack said.

“That’s true.” Sam replied. Suddenly, Dean’s phone was calling and Lucifer, once again in Cas’s body, appeared.

“So, dear old Daddy’s been screwing with the world?” Lucifer asked.

“Cas?” Sam asked confused.

“Funny, Sammy. You forget you beat me the last time we met when I was possessing your brother’s Angel of the morning?” Lucifer reminded.

“Right, I forgot. Hello, Lucifer. You got any ideas for beating Chuck?” Sam asked.

“Sure. Hey, I was able to save a dog for Deano, heard ol’ Cassie went into the Empty. Or if Dean went in with him, Jack needs a pet.” Lucifer said. “Really is a miracle. Just found him outside a gas station. Keeping him safe from Dad, but I’ll be sure to ask Aunt Amara when I see her IF he finds us and snuffs the pupper out, to let me take away his grace.”

“Why are you helping us?” Sam asked.

“Is that Dad? I wanna talk to him, knowing how to smite Grandpa. Maybe he has an idea.” Jack offered.

“Jack wants to talk.” Sam said.

“Great, I’ll bring the dog.” Lucifer said as he soon flew himself and the dog into the bunker. “A lot gloomier than I last saw it.” Lucifer quipped when he set the dog down.

“Dad, I see you’re in Cas’s form.” Jack noted.

“Yeah, when you die in one form, you tend to come back in that form afterwards. Like Nick before I possessed Vince Vincente and later Castiel. Sorry about your loss, by the way. But I think I have an idea. Our Aunt Amara has a bit of history with the Empty, yeah? They may be able to make a deal with her if I offer myself.” Lucifer said. Jack was surprised.

“Why?” Jack asked.

“Archangels and Nephilim have the power to take God’s place. You can do it, Jack. Because you’re the Nephilim of an Archangel, that’s why Dad fried you the first time.” Lucifer pointed out. “But first, we must consult our aunt.”

..............................................................................................................................

The Entity couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because once again, Cas couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because he didn’t have a reason to sleep and he happened to bring it with him. Maybe it was because that stowaway refused to unlatch himself from Cas and the men were stuck between moaning and giggling and yessing. It was very loud, very distracting and it felt like he was in Hell.

“Dean, that tickles.” Cas giggled.

“I can’t help it, you’re so ticklish, it makes me feel alive.” Dean purred as he kissed Cas’s chest. Cas moaned before arching his back as Dean stroked his groin. Dean crawled back up to Cas and they began to undress each other.

“Oh PLEASE stop.” The Entity begged as he pounded into the floor. “You’ve been drowning yourselves in each other’s pleasure and vice versa since you got here. You have GOT to stop sooner or later.” The Entity began to cry and plead.

“I’m not tired or hungry. What about you, Cas?” Dean asked.

“The only thing I’m hungry for is you, Dean.” Cas said as he nipped Dean’s ear.

“OOH, right there baby.” Dean said as he unbuttoned and unzipped Cas, making Cas whimper with extreme heat and began to slowly stroke the older Angel’s dick. Cas’s whimper soon turned into a gasp and a shout. The Entity pounded his head against a wall of the Empty a la Gordon Ramsay after Jason Underwood told him he was gonna try and make the souffles less sticky to the ramekin with butter, sugar and cocoa powder.

..............................................................................................................................

Once they had met with Amara, she heard pounding from the Empty. “The Empty should be sleeping. Funny, who’s keeping them awake?” Amara asked.

“Daddy’s favorite peeon and his Angel.” Lucifer said as he and Jack flew in.

“Dean’s in the Empty?” Amara was stunned. “No Human should ever BE in the Empty. How’s he surviving?” She asked.

“I don’t know, he latched onto Cas when it happened.” Sam said.

“Oh, Jack. I want to give you back your Grace.” Lucifer said as he cut Jack’s Grace out of him and Jack breathed it back in. Jack then closed Lucifer’s neck.

“Dad, you didn’t have to do that.” Jack said.

“You need more power, son. I never regretted bringing you to life. I was a crap father, but you’re an amazing person.” Jack and he hugged one last time as Amara went to the Empty.

..............................................................................................................................

“Oh God, baby. Yes. Yes, YES DEAN YES HARDER MORE! YESDEANYESGODDEANYES!” Cas was howling into darkness as Dean thrusted hard, hitting the Angel’s prostate. The Entity just continued to pound his head against the wall. Suddenly, Amara appeared.

“Are you here to take the sexfiends?” The Entity asked, eyes bloodshot.

“Are you willing to trade?” Amara asked.

“Who would I like?” The Entity asked,

..............................................................................................................................

When Amara came back, Dean and Cas were barely dressed and still attached to each other.

“Dude, seriously?” Sam groaned as he watched his brother exchange spit with Cas.

“Shut up, I don’t complain when you kiss Eileen.” Dean said as he went back to kissing Cas.

“I get that, your fly though, Dean. Your fly is open.” Sam sighed as he covered Jack’s eyes.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, Amara didn’t have time to let us dress before the deal to take Lucifer in our stead was taken by the Empty.” Cas said as he zipped himself up, Dean following suit.

“Good to have you back, but I never wanna see that much of you again.” Sam said as he patted Dean on the back and then hugged him, then hugged Cas. “Otherwise, welcome home, guys.”

“Great to be back.” Dean said as he kissed Cas deeply.

“Alright, lovebirds.” Amara said lovingly. “Can we go find my brother?”

“Oh sure.” Dean said as he pulled away from Cas and they all headed out to Chuck.

..............................................................................................................................

Amara cuffed Chuck with Enochian handcuffs and Dean kicked him in the nuts. Finally, Jack touched Chuck’s head and all of Chuck’s powers were absorbed into Jack.

“What?” Chuck asked as he gasped. “But how?”

“I got some help from the one son who was right to never listen to you.” Jack said as he finished sucking all of Chuck’s powers and absorbing it into his system.

..............................................................................................................................

After all was said and done, Jack joined with Amara. She’d guide him on how to rebuild Heaven. Before he left though, he gifted Dean and Cas the dog. “Dad wanted you to have him. His name’s Miracle. Dad said it was a miracle Grandpa had missed the sweetcake.” Jack said as he handed Miracle off to the two.

“After years of the ‘No dogs in the Impala’ rule?” Dean asked. “I’m honored to own him.” Dean said. Cas smiled and kissed the dog before kissing Dean softly in turn.

“Where will you go now?” Sam asked.

“I’m thinking a farm somewhere. Or maybe a nice home in a cul de sac. Or even a cabin in the woods?” Dean asked as he looked Cas in the eyes.

“I hear the barn we first met in is being condemned.” Cas said. “We may buy the property and build a nice acreage where I can keep an apiary and Dean can start a garage.” Cas offered. “Maybe I can even grow peanuts and make my own peanut butter.” Just as he said that, Jack gave Cas the gift of Human feelings for food and such, not needing to give him love as Dean had already taught him how to love. Another thing he did before leaving for Heaven was what Amara had done for Dean.

“Sam?” Sam’s eyes widened as he turned and faced the truest love of his life.

“Oh my God, Jess?” Sam gasped.

“Whoa, what year is this? Last thing I knew, I was making cookies when-God, what happened to you?” Jess asked.

“It’s a long story.” Sam said as he hugged her tightly.

I missed you too.” Jess said as she hugged him back. Then, Sam immediately began to kiss her as deeply as Dean was doing Cas when they left the Empty.

“Let’s beat them in our own game by joining in.” Dean said as he pulled Cas in for another kiss.

..............................................................................................................................

The house was amazing. Everything Dean had wanted, a back yard for Miracle and Cas loved the peanut grinder and apiary Dean had set up for him. Especially with the tap so as not to disturb the bees.

“Try my honey roasted peanut butter burgers.” Cas said when Sam and Jess visited them. “Dean makes his own brioche and it’s amazing.”

“He thinks everything I do is amazing. He makes his own jelly though.” Dean said. “I’m telling you, ever since Cas has been able to taste? His pallet makes me purr.” Dean said as he kissed Cas deep, but chaste.

“You make me blush.” Cas said as he touched Dean’s forehead with his own.

“Imagine if that girls’ school managed to find out you’re officially canon.” Sam began to tease. “The musical they’d be making out of that.” Jess punched Sam’s arm.

“Now now, baby. Don’t tease.” Jess said.

“Brothers are supposed to tease each other, Jessie. Don’t worry, it’s a Winchester family tradition.” Sam said.

“Pranks and teasing.” Dean confirmed. “Hot dogs are up.” Dean said as he put them on a plate after cooking them on a grill. Miracle whined as he smelled the hot dogs and Dean threw one to the dog. “There you go, Miracle.” He said.

“Apple pie life really suits you, Dean.” Jess said.

“Thanks, Jess. Congratulations on the baby, by the way. I can’t wait to be an uncle.” Dean said with a smile.

“Thanks, Dean.” Jess said as she hugged him.

Life was sweet. Not just because of the burgers either.

..............................................................................................................................

When Sam and Jess had left, Cas was cleaning up and putting food away. Dean had decided to help after cleaning the grill. However, his help was beyond drying while Cas washed.

“I missed cuddling with you this morning.” Dean said. “I bought you more pectin for your next batch of Blackberry jam you like to make so much.”

“That’s thoughtful of you, Dean.” Cas said as he got lost in washing the dishes. Once they finished washing and drying, Dean pulled him into a dance, putting on a song they first listened to when they officially moved into their new home.

“But I can see how strong a man I’m gonna have to be to do for you what comes so naturally, it’s in the way you move.” Dean softly sang to Cas as he twirled the love of his life around the living room floor. Cas giggled giddily.

“Dean, why so sappy today?” Cas asked when they took a break.

“Cas, to finally let you know after all this time how much you mean to me? I thought I was gonna lose you and with Jack visiting on occasion, I feel we should have a more official title to what we are.” Dean said as he knelt down and pulled out a box. Inside was a honeybee shaped ring with stripes of Citron and Obsidian and Diamond eyes and wings. Cas was in awe at the look of it once Dean opened the box.

“Castiel, I come to you as a man, no more or less, with the hope that I can take your hand in marriage and we can make each other honest men until death parts us.” Dean said as he handed Cas the ring box.

“Oh Dean, it’s beautiful. It had to have cost a forturne.” Cas said.

“Not at all. I know an expert jeweler in town, he was able to get the materials together for the occasion.” Both men began to cry. “Will you marry me, Castiel?” Dean asked.

“Yes.” Cas said as Dean took the ring out of the box and put it on Cas’s hand, then they kissed deeply. They then spent the rest of the night celebrating in a lot of ways. Not only their engagement, but the start of what’s to come in their future.

The End

[batarangtotheheart]

Different (Batmom x Jason Todd)

SURPRISE, BITCHES. Bet you thought you’d seen the last of me, but nope!

Pt. II to Blood

Summary: Batmom is Bruce’s new girlfriend. After a while, she got Dick and Damian to like her. Now she tackles Bruce’s mysterious and angry son, Jason.

Warnings: references to death, swearing

It had been a month since the auction and Damian had started to warm up to you. In fact, all of his kids had. Or at least, the kids you’d met. Apparently Bruce has many, many more kids and you grew exhausted at the thought of trying to get them all to like you. Of course, you'd spend countless hours trying to make them accept and maybe even like you, but perhaps one at a time.

One kid you were particularly excited to meet was Jason.

Of course, he was the most unruly and quote, unquote “ruder than Damian” but you just smiled through the fear and anxiety at the thought of someone being ruder than the kid who called you a harlot within five minutes of your meeting.

“Dick, honey, I don’t think you have to worry. I don’t know about Bruce’s plans but I plan on being here for you kids while we are still together. I mean, even Damian warmed up to me.”

Truth be told, every kid Bruce had was basically an orphan before Bruce took them in. Nobody had a purely positive figure in their life, especially not one of a mother. They all searched for that figure in their own way and the smallest part of you believed that maybe you could fill that void in them. Dick smiled at your words and nodded before coming closer to hug you.

Out of all the kids, Dick was the nicest and warmest. He was also the easiest to get to know and to accept you. You definitely wouldn’t say you filled any such void within the poor guy, and you might not ever. But he tries to be open and welcoming to you and you had to admit that you were starting to bond with him. He was definitely the most dependent. You came to enjoy his ‘emergency’ calls when he needs help learning how to properly do laundry at 2 AM because he spilled ketchup on his Nightwing onesie. You came to know him as the biggest Nightwing fan. He had to be. What kind of man in his 20s has a onesie for a superhero and isn’t totally obsessed with them? “I’ll see you later.” He smiled at you once more before leaving. You took a deep breath in, nervous for tonight.

Ah yes, tonight. The night where you’d finally meet the mysterious son of Bruce. Jason was his name and apparently he has had issues ever since he had to fake his death to avoid a stalker when he was a kid. You didn’t know much about him other than he really resented Bruce and that he liked to make jokes about his “death”.

You put on a knee length dark blue dress and black kitten heels and nervously made your way downstairs just as the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” You yelled, not wanting to have Alfred be interrupted while he cooks.

You opened the door to see a young man who looked to be around 20 or 21 dressed in a red dress shirt, black pants, black shoes and a black leather jacket. The man liked black, apparently. Just from that you already knew who it was. “You must be Jason. I’m Y/N, Bruce’s-“

He interrupted. “Fling. I know.”

You pursed your lips and nodded. You could tell he would be a challenge just like Damian. But you were someone who enjoyed a challenge.

“I was going to say girlfriend but I guess we all have our own words.” You tried to joke, but he just stood there, unamused.

You smiled and gestured for him to come in. He looked you up and down before walking inside with a blank face. You could tell he was a lot like Bruce, probably more than either men cared to admit.

“So Jason, how old are you?” You asked, following him into the dining room. He just slumped down in an empty chair and examined his nails. “Probably not that much younger than you, if I know Bruce.” He chuckled to himself. You felt your anger rise but held it in and nodded. Be patient, Y/N.

“I’m only three years younger than Bruce, actually.”

Damian came down after a short moment of complete awkward silence. “Y/N. Todd.”

There was a clear distaste when he said ‘Todd’ but Jason just grinned chaotically. “Hey, little tot.”

Damian glowered. “I may physically be a child, but at least I do not act like one.” He carefully sat in the chair next to you and crossed his arms. Jason rose an eyebrow. He definitely didn’t know Damian to be someone to warm up to anyone, especially not Bruce’s flings. “Who invited you, anyway?”

Jason tilted his chair back and crossed his long legs. “Bold of you to assume that I need an invitation. But if you must know, Bruce’s sugar baby here did. I was just as surprised as you.”

Damian looked at you, betrayed, but kept quiet. He figured you must have some plot to get Todd to like you, but if Damian knew Jason, he knew that he definitely was never going to warm up to you.

You were just about to snap at “sugar baby” when Alfred came in with the food. You could always trust his “Oh god, shit’s about to hit the fan” senses. “Dinner is served.”

Jason scoffed. “Where’s the old man? Too unbothered to come to dinner? Wow, he must reaaallyy like you.” He turned to you.

You were really going to smack this guy. He was different than what you assumed, he wasn’t anything like Damian. Damian was not bitter, he was just a kid who was always called a monster, a demon, and under those layers of toughness he just wanted to be accepted. But Jason was plain disrespectful and rude because nobody had the guts to stand up to him. Just as you were about to stand up to him, Bruce arrived. He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek as a greeting and sat down at the head of the table. “Jason. So nice of you to join us.”

“Nice of me? What about you? Last I checked, you were supposed to be here like, ten minutes ago.”

Bruce tucked a napkin into his shirt and calmly looked at Jason. “Business call.”

“You’d understand Todd,, if you had a proper job.” Damian quipped under his breath.

You quickly diffused the situation. “It smells delicious, Alfred. Thank you.”

You urged Damian to grab his helping before touching anything, wanting to make sure he had enough. The boy usually didn’t eat very large helpings and you were always fretting over his health. “Get as much as you want, Dami.”

Damian just nodded and put another spoonful of spaghetti on his plate. You smiled and Jason just about died of shock. You were definitely different than Bruce’s other flings. But he wouldn’t let himself start to like you. He knew you’d end up just being some crazy assassin or some gold digger. But you just turned to Jason. “Are you not going to eat? I invited you here for dinner because I know that apartment living isn’t exactly a 5 star restaurant. Trust me, I lived on ramen and Cheetos for years.”

Jason nodded. “So you’re with Bruce because you just couldn’t handle your poor lifestyle anymore, then. I figured you out.”

Bruce spoke up, “Jason, that’s enough.”

You patted Bruce’s hand and laughed.

“Trust me, if I was with Bruce for fancy meals and money I wouldn’t have asked Alfred to make spaghetti.”

Jason just stared blankly with an annoyed look in his eyes. He had to admit, he liked your patience and calm, quick wit.

“Nice bracelet. How many days were you dating Bruce before you begged him to buy it?”

Damian threw down his fork and stood up. “I won’t have you harassing her, you absolute fool. Would Father even be with her if she was the money grabbing trollop you insist she is?”

Jason was shocked at Damian’s defending you and shut up, angrily biting into his spaghetti.

You smiled and patted Damian on his shoulder. “It’s fine, Dami. Jason just met me, I’m sure there have been other women that your father has dated that he liked and they ditched him.” Damian sat down but continued to glare at Jason.

“Well, you’re right about the other women. He’s dated a lot of women. What number is she, like 127?” Jason laughed.

Bruce shot a warning look at Jason. “She’s different, Jason. And your whole act isn’t working. She isn’t like the other women I’ve dated.” Your heart was swelling at the two most stoic men you know defending you so wholeheartedly.

“And you are right, I admit I have dated lots of women. But Y/N is nothing like them. She makes me a better man, Jason. And I hope she can make you a better one too, because the man you are right now is disappointing.” He calmly but fiercely explained.

Jason seemed a bit hurt and just stood up. “Well, thanks for the dinner, Alfred. I need to get going. Nice to meet you, hope you last another week.” He quickly grabbed his jacket and left.

You sighed at that shook your head. “Bruce.” You gave him an annoyed look and got up, rushing to the kitchen before coming back out with containers in your hands and rushing out the door. It was the dead of winter and you were freezing but you pushed on, yelling Jason’s name. “Jason, wait!”

You slipped on a patch of ice just as he turned at you. His eyes widened and he rushed to you. “Are you okay?”

You winced but nodded and held out the containers of leftover spaghetti. “You forgot the leftovers. Like I said, you can’t just live off Cheetos.”

Jason felt his tough facade crack and he furrowed his eyebrows. “You literally nearly broke your ankle over leftover spaghetti.”

You looked up at him before bursting out laughing, forgetting the pain in your ankle.

Of all the reactions he expected you to have to his attitude that night, this definitely wasn’t one.

“Are you nuts?” He questioned, helping you off the cold ground and allowing you to balance yourself on his shoulder.

You grinned and winked. “Guess so, but who isn’t even a little crazy?”

Bruce was right, you were definitely different. Jason just picked the containers that somehow didn’t spill and nodded. “Right. Well, see you next week. What about Tuesday? What is Alfred making?”

You grinned up at the tall boy. You totally won him over and both of you knew it. “Whatever you want.”

Jason’s cheeks were dusted red from embarrassment at his own behavior. “Listen, uh, I’m kinda… sorry.”

You laughed it off and hit him on the shoulder. “No hard feelings,” your voice deepened and you gave a glare worse than the infamous Bat-Glare. “But if you ever call me a sugar baby again I will beat you with my shoe. Well, I’m freezing. Night, Jason! Be safe!” You turned and Jason watched you go, the warmth from the container warming his cold hands. “Night.” He quietly called after you.

Bruce and Damian were both completely confused when you came in and pumped a fist into the air, smiling. Alfred just smiled.

Yeah, you were definitely different.

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Legacies - dad!jason au

Characters: Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon Pairings: jaydick Summary: Dick was Batman now, and as a certain someone always said - Batman always needs a Robin. A/N: After All’s Fair by a few months/a year and before Worst Nightmare. Also ignore the a/n on Worst Nightmare/edit it to be talking about being Bruce’s Robin, not Dick’s. Damian is 13 in this. Can’t believe I haven’t updated this au in OVER a year, so if you only read this series from me, reminder I now have a Patreon and Ko-Fi if you like my work and would like to support me further or get stories written for you/commissions! I’d be forever grateful!

Other things for Nevolition’s Dad!Jason AU

~~

“…This is weird.” Jason’s voice cracked through the communicator. It was a slow night, thankfully, and the two had been talking via comm. link for about an hour.

“What is?” Dick asked, shifting slightly to rearrange the cape across his shoulders.

“This.” Jason reiterated. Laughed breathily. “I’m sitting here flirting with the fucking Batman.”

Dick laughed too. Leaned back and stared up at the moon through the cloudy skies. “Don’t freak out too much when you remember you’re married to the Batman too.”

“Oh my god, I’m married to the fucking Batman.” Jason mimicked with fake shock. Dick kicked his feet against the brick of the building in glee. The cape, this legacy, was heavy. Too heavy, sometimes. But Jason sitting up and talking to him about mundane things like soups and shoestrings made it lighter. Made it bearable.

Dick let out a deep sigh. Listened as Jason plopped another folded shirt of their clean laundry into the basket.

“…Any word from Tim tonight?” Jason asked softly.

“Of course not. He still isn’t speaking to me.” Dick mumbled. He heard voices below him and leaned forward, making sure his cowl ears didn’t cast a shadow. It was a couple leaving a nearby bar. “Still thinks Bruce is alive, and I don’t think he’ll speak to me until I agree with him.”

“Kind of hard to agree with an idea that’s absolutely nuts.” Jason huffed. “It’s just his grief, Dick. Don’t take it personally.”

“I’m trying not to.” Dick promised. “At this point, I just want to know he’s okay.”

“Mentally or physically? Because you know my opinion on the former.”

“Both.” Dick stressed. “I mean, if he thinks Bruce is still alive then obviously he needs help mentally. But if he’s out there trying to fight criminals on his own, I’m afraid what could happen if he’s ever outnumbered.”

“Well, what’d Babs say?” Jason asked. “She know where he is?”

“Says he’s still in Gotham.” Dick murmured, swinging his legs wildly in front of him, in a kind of stretch. “Says he’s going by the name Red Robin now too.”

“Why? He didn’t want to be your Robin?” Jason asked. The dryer dinged in the background, and he heard Jason shift to go get the new load. “That’s kind of surprising, honestly.”

“I told him to his face that his theory about Bruce wasn’t real, and he needed to find a new way to cope. Probably not in the nicest way either.” Dick mumbled guiltily. “So of course he wants nothing to do with me.”

“Still…Robin has become a lot more independent to Batman in recent years.” Jason thought out loud. “Working with Batman isn’t exactly a necessary part of the job anymore.”

“That’s just what Babs said, not that she or Steph have talked to him about it.” He heard the dryer door slam. “Sorry for taking a patrol on laundry night. I know you hate that.”

“Eh, I hate it less these days.” Dick could practically see Jason shrug. “You’ve got a lot more important things on your plate right now then making sure Damian’s clean underwear is folded correctly.”

Dick snorted. “Well hopefully he’s making up for my absence.”

Jason paused. Then: “What do you mean?”

“I mean I hope he’s sitting there helping you, not sitting in his room on the computer.”

Another hesitation, then a chuckle. “Dick, did you forget he’s spending the night at Colin’s tonight?”

Dick frowned. “No he’s not.”

“Yes he is. That’s what he told me this morning.”

Dick’s gut began to churn. “I asked him what he was doing tonight before I left for the manor. He said nothing, because Colin’s out of town.”

Jason remained silent.

“Jason, is Damian not home?”

“Let me call him.” Jason said hurriedly. Dick checked the projection in his mask, making sure he didn’t miss a text from his son. A moment later, Jason exhaled nervously. “…It went straight to voicemail.”

“Don’t panic, Jay. Let me call Oracle.” He pushed the switch on the side of his cowl. “Babs?”

“Yes, Man Wonder?”

“Do you have a read on Damian? He appears to have tried to pull a fast one on Jay and I.”

“Ah, the joy of teenage rebellion. Just like all three of his dads.” Barbara hummed. She too seemed to switch communicator channels. “Batgirl, Black Bat and all other Bat-related friends and foes. Be on the lookout for a certain thirteen-year-old that we all know and love very dearly. He’s apparently lied to his dads and is gonna be in some deep shi-”

“Hang on, hang on.” A new voice drawled boredly across the line. “Don’t panic, I’m almost there.”

Dick blinked, and even Barbara seemed stunned into a momentary silence. Damian had a communicator, just like Jason did. One to call Dick, and Dick only. Not the open line. “…Damian, almost where?”

There was a thud behind him, and Dick immediately fell into attack mode. Pulled batarangs from his belt as he flipped backwards and twisted into a fighting stance.

And his weapons immediately slipped from his fingers, clattering to the rooftop.

Because it wasn’t an enemy. Oh no. At this moment, he’d have preferred an enemy. He’d prefer the Joker over who was standing in front of him.

Robin.

Damian dressed as Robin.

“No.” Was the first word out of Dick’s mouth, even as he took in the costume. It wasn’t thrown together, wasn’t a fake. He could see Alfred’s careful craftsmanship in the stitching of the red tunic, the thick green gloves. “Absolutely not.”

Damian grinned anyway, holding his bright yellow cape out and giving a single spin to show it off. “Cool, huh?”

“Opposite of cool.” Dick found himself already floating into the Batman voice. “Dames, we talked about this.”

Damian frowned. “No, you and Baba talked about this. I listened.” He crossed his arms. “Reluctantly.”

Dick bit his lip. “Babs. Get Penny-One on the line. Ask him why he allowed-”

“Alfred didn’t allow anything. He just made the uniform when we asked.” Damian cut off.

Dick tilted his head. “We?”

“Tim.” Damian said simply. “He and I talked about it. He helped me with the design. He passed the legacy of Robin on to me.”

Dick’s stomach dropped. This…explained a lot. Maybe. Explained the Red Robin part, at least. Maybe the radio silent part, and why Damian had an open line communicator too.

Damian seemed to see the confusion on Dick’s features. Uncrossed his arms and placed his hands on his hips. “I’d brought the idea up to him before, when you were thinking about taking over for…for Father.” He paused, seemed to swallow a lump in his throat. “And then you two fought, and he said he was leaving town. I asked him who was going to watch your back, and he stopped. He said he didn’t want to do it, that he couldn’t. Not with how things were right now. And I reminded him of what he always said.”

“And what did he always say?” Dick asked, hearing the bitterness in his own voice.

“That Batman needs a Robin.” Damian said firmly. “And in my opinion, that doesn’t change, even if the guy wearing the cowl does.”

“But not you.” Dick countered. His communicator beeped, reminding him of Jason on the other line. And great – that was going to go just swell. Hey honey, found our kid! Turns out he wants to fight crime! “Robin was never supposed to be you.”

“That’s what Tim said. And I asked him who else was going to do it?” Damian grinned again, overly pleased with himself. “He still wasn’t going for it exactly, so…”

“So?”

“So I told him if he didn’t help, I’d just go out on my own anyway.” Damian tilted his chin up. “He said that’d happen over his dead body, so he helped me design the suit and new weapons and everything, to make sure I was safe.”

“Well thank god for that.” Dick mumbled.

“And when it was all ready to go, he…he said he was proud of me. That there was no one else he’d rather take the title after him.” Damian’s cheeks seemed to redden a little bit at the memory of the praise. “He even went out with me the first few times so he knew I was ready.”

“You’ve gone on patrol already?!” Dick fumbled. He heard someone snort in amusement on the line. “Oh my…when? How many times?”

“Last month.” Damian countered. “Remember all those late nights at the Gotham Library with Nell for that project?”

“Oh my…” Dick sputtered, turning away. “Oh my freaking god…”

“Still got that husband on line two, Bats.” Barbara almost sang in his ear.

“So much for World’s Greatest Detective, eh, Didi?” Damian hummed with a laugh. “Don’t worry, I can pick up the slack on that.”

“You little…” Dick sighed, moving to run his hand through his hair, and remembering too late that he couldn’t. “Your baba’s going to kill me.”

“He’ll understand.” Damian tried, moving forward. “I’m…Didi, I’m not doing this to go against you or anything. I’m doing this to help. To help people, to protect the city you and Father love so much and…and to make sure you come home safe.”

Dick looked down at him.

“I won’t let the Court of Owls happen again, Didi. I won’t.” Damian whispered. “I won’t let someone hurt Stephie again, or Tim, or anyone else.”

Dick’s heart melted a little at that. And hurt, too. Goddamn, their son was so kind. So smart. So perfect.

He sighed, and reached out to reel Damian in, wrapping his arms tightly around his shoulders. Closed his eyes to hold back the tears, remembering when Bruce would hug him too, when they were Batman and Robin. And now, here, this…

“We’ll…have to talk to Baba about this. He’ll take a lot of convincing.” Damian looked up at him, smile threatening to crack his face in two. “Not that I’m saying yes, either, but…I understand.”

“…I’d have pointed out the hypocrisy of you saying no, if you didn’t.” Damian admitted.

“I have no doubt.” Dick laughed. “Again, I’m not saying yes, but…I suppose you can stay with me for tonight’s patrol.”

Impossibly, Damian’s grin got wider.

“A-hem.” Barbara reminded. “Husband – and dad – still on line two.”

Dick groaned as Damian stepped away from him with an awkward grin. Jason really was going to kill him.

He hit the button to switch frequencies. “Jay-”

“I swear to fuck, Dick, if someone’s already linked him to your Batman, I’m going to-”

“He’s with me!” Dick cut off, cringing in the immediate silence that followed. “He’s, uh, with me. On…this…rooftop.”

“…Why.” Jason demanded, though Dick already knew he was putting the pieces together. “Why is he on a rooftop with you.”

“Because…” Dick started. He stopped there, though, because how do you explain it? Even to someone who formerly wore the colors? “Well…apparently…he, uh…he approached Tim a little while ago and…I guess we raised him too well, so…”

“No. Absolutely not.” Jason all but screamed. “Tell him his little ass is not going to be Robin and he is fucking grounded until further notice.”

“Now, Jason-”

“Nope.” Jason countered. “Drag his ass home, right now. Or else you’re grounded too, you Bat fuck.”

If he was going to try and plead any more of his or Damian’s case, he didn’t get the chance before Jason disconnected the line. He sighed, dropping his head back.

“What’d he say?” Damian asked nervously. Dick was almost surprised he didn’t try to eavesdrop on the call.

“Exactly what I’m sure you’d think he’d say.” Dick droned. He looked back down at his boy. “He wants me to bring you home, stat.”

Damian pursed his lips and crossed his arms once more.

“But…” Damian perked. “He clearly needs some time to cool down.” Dick smiled. “Probably will take him a few hours.” In the moment of silence, as luck would have it: “And I think I hear sirens a few streets over.”

Damian slowly smiled as Oracle patched the police scanner into both their communicators.

“You ready, Robin?” Dick whispered. And even for all his fear and hesitancy about this partnership, he felt his chest fill with pride.

“I was born ready, Batman.” Damian promised.

“Last one there has to wash the Batmobile.” Dick teased. Damian laughed.

Batman and Robin jumped into the night – together again for the first time.

[melyaliz]

Heros buy Tampons

@thespacebuns​: Omg the tampons one in stage 5 with jen and dick? 😂 (me hoping thats the right ship) thank you and also happy birthday!!!!

“Tampons? You want me to buy you tampons? Me?”

Thank you for the Happy Birthday! It was hot but so much fun! 

Fandom: DC / Young Justice 

Summary: Dick’s girlfriend needs his help and he’s just not sure he’s ready to be THAT kind of hero. 

Pairing: Dick Grayson 

Notes: I don’t know if Dick Grayson would be like this but also he is also a 14-year-old boy with almost no women in his life growing up so I can also see him being a bit of a… boy about periods at first. (So it could to either way for me but it was so much fun to write regardless) 

Jennifer on the other hand does not give a shit. 

Jennifer Story Master List (That I need to update.  

mentions of Annabella who is owned by @the-shadow-of-atlantis​

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE or REQUEST

------------0------------------0--------------------0-----------------

“Tampons? You want me to buy you tampons? Me?”

Dick Stood there in pure shock unsure how to react. Jennifer looked up at him from her pile of blankets. Cleo sitting on top of the fluffy mess like a cheery on top of a Sunday. Her long tail moving slowly back and forth as if pleased someone else was getting the brunt of her human’s anger at the moment. 

“Who else would I be asking!?!” Jen moaned reaching for the warm cup of tea Alfred had left her before taking Bruce to some Wayne meeting. “I’m all out and no one else is here and I can’t move! I’m dying Richard. DYING”

Dick had never seen the level headed girl this dramatic before. Then again normally during this time of the month, she would just lock herself up in her bedroom for two or three days where Alfred would deliver a tray of sweets and tea. Annabella would sometimes come in to cuddle her but Dick had been told to stay out. 

Something he had just agreed too. 

And now he was kind of wishing that rule still applied. 

“But like…” The fourteen-year-old boy shifted from foot to foot. All of Batman’s training had never prepared him for this. 

“NUT UP!” 

Even Cleo looked a bit surprised at that outburst. Jennifer pouted up at him. If he thought he could go around flirting with him he could go around buying her emergency tampons. (Ok maybe she flirted with him too but… that was beside the point.) 

“I texted you a picture” 

“Jennifer...” There was no way he was getting out of this was there.

“You’re a hero right?” Long lashes batted up at him. Yep, no way at all.

“Yeah but…”  

“Be my hero baby!” she sang out before letting out a whimper as another wave of craps washed over her. “Please?” she followed up, “all jokes aside, I’m down to my last one and you’re my only hope.” 

“You texted the picture?” Dick asked shoving his hand into his pocket pulling out the phone seeing the notification with an image and a heart emoji.  

“And think,” Jen called after him as he grabbed his jacket. “Someday you may have to do this for your daughter and I showed you how?” 

“Did you need anything else?” 

Jen’s eyes grew wide at the offer, “Chocolate? And something salty?” 

“Like Chocolate potato chips?” 

“Something you would eat with me?” 

Dick fought back a smile, “Ok I’ll see what looks good.” 

“My hero”  her voice sang after him followed by another grunt of pain. Dick sighed running his fingers through his hair as he made his way to his motorcycle that no matter what sort of embarrassment he was going to have to deal with it was worth it. 

-----A teenage daughter later------

“Britney are you ok in there?” Dick’s voice was soft as he gently knocked on the bathroom door.  She had been in there for a while and he could have sworn he heard her crying. 

 “GO AWAY!” his teenage daughter cried, her voice clearly strained and wet.

“Honey,” Who was it? Who’s ass was Dick going to have to kick?

“Just…. When is mom getting back?” 

“Not until tonight, what can I do?”  Who needed Jennifer when he was there? Anything his wife could do Dick could do better (in heels too). 

“No… it’s embarrassing.”

“Nothing you do can be embarrassing.” he tried hoping that would get her to open up. 

“I.. I’m out of tampons.”

He wanted to laugh, wanted to text Jennifer and tell her to stop being so smart all the time. This is what he gets for falling in love with a know it all. “Ok text me a picture of the box. I’ll be right back.”

“Ok” her voice was so soft from behind the door. Grabbing his jacket Dick pulled out his phone shooting his wife a text.

Why do you always have to be right? 

-GET TAGGED!- 

Forever tag:  @the-shadow-of-atlantis​​ @coffee-randomness​​ @0hmydeku @xx3fsxx @daisyboobear​​  @jason-redhood​ @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr  @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep  @cdwmtjb8

[quillium]

The truth is this, in the bright, shining morning, when the sun beats through her blinds and the birds wake her, that Steph isn’t bothered by the act of waking.

Tim, who’s in the bed across from her, listening to her groan into the pillow, may say otherwise, but it’s true.

Steph really and truly does not mind waking.

It’s not waking she was dreading. It was washing her underwear. Which she has to do, now. Because she’s awake.

“Fuck this,” she mumbles into her pillow, kicking her feet against the foot of the bed.

Tim, who has possibly not slept for three days and only fell asleep at 6am a few hours ago, makes a high pitched whining sound and covers his head with his pillow.

Steph, upon realizing this, stops her kicking and lays very, very still. Because she is, despite what Jason may say after the confetti incident (which was, by the way, not her fault), a very lovely and considerate person.

She is. Shut up, Tim. Stop whining. It’s hurting her ears. She’s stopped making noise, now can he please—

Because Steph is a caring and kind and wonderful person, she covers Tim with a blanket, sets up that Chinese style room divider that Cass brought back from Hong Kong last year so that the sun doesn’t bother him and he’s still in darkness even though it’s—holy shit 11:00am??? If this is because she fell asleep at 5am that was TIM’s fault, not her’s—and whispers, “You need noises?”

“Rain,” he mumbles, “Can you get the birds to shut up?”

“Probably not,” Steph says, and puts on the rain noises.

Because she’s lovely and considerate, she shoves on her socks, a hoodie, grabs a granola bar, and climbs out the window. She clings to the drainpipe and slides the window shut with her foot, before shimmying up and leaving a few bits of her granola bar on the roof, leading a trail for the birds.

Wonderfully, it works, and Steph leaves the rest of the granola bar on Dick’s windowsill. He likes birds. She’s sure that he’ll appreciate seeing the birds outside his window this fine… afternoon? Not yet. Morning, still.

She’s still creeping away when she hears Dick’s window slide open and he mumbles, “What the fu—ugh. Who did this? Hi, birds. You’re so pretty. Who the fuck did this? It’s a weekend. I deserve sleep. I’m—“ yawning, and more incomprehensible mumbling.

He’s cheerful, though, despite his grogginess, so Steph counts this as a win.

Heck yeah. She’s on a roll.

She saved Tim from birds (win). She brought Dick beautiful birds (probably a win). And now she’s getting breakfast.

Jason’s in the kitchen when she slides down another drainpipe and enters through the front door. He squints at her for a moment, back up the stairs, and says, bewildered, “I have been here since 6am.”

“Ew,” Steph says, “Why were you up so early?”

“Routine is good for you,” Jason mumbles, the tips of his ears turning pink, “A consistent sleep schedule is healthy and—“

“This sounds like one of Bruce’s health talks again.”

He sticks his tongue out at her.

She beams and bats her eyelashes at him.

Jason, huffing, points at the granite island, and mumbles, “Take a seat and I’ll make you some crepes and tofu.”

“With green onion?”

“Yes, Ms. High Maintenance.”

“You love me.”

“Of course I do, why else would I add green onion into your tofu?”

She laughs, and he starts pulling ingredients out of the fridge, humming quietly to himself as he goes. Steph peers at the batter on the counter, and asks, “So, since 6am, hm? Is that part of your routine?”

The tips of Jason’s ears, if possible, go even redder, and he says, “It’s just—I’ve been drinking a lot of tea while I was reading, lately. And I thought, since I’m in the kitchen, why don’t I make some snacks? Then one thing lead to another—“

“And now it’s 11am.”

“What? Eleven?”

“Yeah.”

Jason whips his head to stare at the clock on the microwave, “I’ve been here for five hours?”

“Apparently.”

“I made breakfast for Bruce before he left.”

“For his surgery?”

“Yes.”

“You’re nuts. Did you make breakfast for Alfie, too?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“I also made breakfast for Cass and Dames.”

“Did Dick eat his cereal again instead of real food?”

“He’s still sleeping.”

“He sleeps in?”

“Dick’s a disaster, Steph. If I were to pick someone else in this family that he’s most similar to—“

“Don’t you say it. Don’t you dare say it—“

“—It’d probably be you. Pass me the butter.”

Laughing, Steph hands Jason the butter from the fridge, “Fuck you.”

He bats his eyelashes at her and says, “You love me.”

She tips back so her head hangs over the edge of the island, laughing.

They pass the rest of the cooking process in what could be called a conversation, but could also be called Jason being a total nerd and telling Steph all about the book he’s currently reading and analyzing it from multiple points of view like a nerd. Really, both work.

Jason sits across from Steph when she eats, he takes for himself a small bowl of tofu with soy sauce, green onion and honey, and eats it with a spoon.

Her tofu, fried in oil and green onions with beef, is eaten with chopsticks, which means she eats her crepes with chopsticks, like a weirdo.

Thanks, Jason.

“Plans for the day?” Jason asks in that light, absent-minded way that most parents do, which always makes Steph laugh because he’s barely much older than her. Jason, though, has always been the most like Alfie and Bruce, among them.

“Work, homework, and housework,” Steph sighs, pressing her chin onto the palm of her hand, “You?”

“Oh, uh,” Jason stirs his tofu, “Y’know. Stuff.”

Steph narrows her eyes, “You have a nice day of relaxing, don’t you.”

Jason offers her a guilty smile.

“Well, good for you,” Steph puffs out her cheeks, “I’m going to work hard today so that I get a relaxing day, too.”

“Sorry, kiddo,” Jason eats slowly, savouring each bite, so he’s not even halfway finished his tiny bowl of tofu by the time Steph finishes her five crepes, tofu and beef.

She sighs, kissing him on the forehead when she leaves, washing the dishes in the sink on her way out.

“Thanks,” Jason mumbles from his place on the dinner table. He’s always last to finish when it’s just the family (and always the first in company). He knows how to eat fast, he just doesn’t want to.

“No problem,” Steph chirps, “Thanks for the crepes, enjoy your day.”

“You, too.”

She makes a face at him, and he laughs quietly.

Okay. Time to get to work.

Keep Reading on AO3

[mayleebaby28]

Some Days I’m Headed in the Right Direction, and Some Days I Ain’t Even Close

@fishfingersandjellybabies wanted Superbat and I’ve wanted to write this for months now so thanks for the inspiration

Note: In this AU, Bruce adopted Dick and Jason as toddlers, while he and Clark were dating. After they got married, they did a surrogacy thing and surprise, got twins Conner and Tim (Tim obviously takes after the mother for height, also they’re super attached to each other), adopted Cass, had Damian and Jon via surrogates, and recently adopted Duke. Ages are Dick-18, Jason-17, Tim and Conner-14, Cass-13, Duke-12, Damian-8, Jon-6. 

Bruce wasn’t sure what his children were doing, but he was pretty fed up with whatever it was.

First he had gone to talk to Dick about something that morning, only to find his son in the process of sneaking back in after a night out, bruises all over his neck and not the crime fighting type bruises. That lead to two important conversations because he was only 18 and the last thing Bruce wanted was to be a grandfather at 33.

Then he went downstairs while Dick took a shower and got some sleep, since he was grounded as much as Bruce could ground him, and saw Jason arguing with Tim, and Kon arguing with Jon, and Damian feeding the dogs from the table, and Duke was trying to pull Tim and Jason apart, and Cass was sitting at the kitchen island quietly scrolling through her phone.

And Clark wasn’t going to be back until dinner time.

Bruce sighed.

“What is going on here?” He asked, his voice booming through the kitchen and effectively silencing his children, all of them pausing to stare at him. All except Cass, who hopped off of her chair, walked by Bruce, stood on her toes to kiss him on the cheek, and continued down the hall.

“Alright, you two, what’s the problem?” Bruce asked, pointing to Jason and Tim where they were standing by the pantry. Duke stayed between them, the new addition wary of the two, who were regularly fighting.

The two angrily glared at each other, neither saying anything. Whatever it was, Bruce would get to the bottom of it later.

“And you two?” He asked, nodding to Kon and Jon sitting at the table.

“Daddy, Kon took the last of the lucky charms,” Jon said, the smallest’s face scrunched up in anger.

“There’s so many other cereals,” Kon said, motioning back towards the pantry. “I was up first.”

Bruce sighed. Kon and Jon struggled with their relationship sometimes too.

“You two, go to your room,” He said, motioning to Tim and Kon. The shorter scowled, leading the way as his twin followed. Bruce could hear them mumbling to each other on their way up. “And you, go find Alfred and help with the chores,” He pointed to Jason, who sighed dramatically before heading towards the dining room.

“They were fighting when I got up, Bruce,” Duke said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry about them, they fight a lot,” Bruce said. “Go ahead and take your breakfast into the dining room, I’ll take care of things in here.”

Duke nodded and grabbed his plate, scrambled eggs, before heading in Jason’s direction.

“Damian, don’t feed the dogs from the table,” Bruce said, and the eight year old huffed, picking up a piece of toast for himself. “Jon, Honey, why don’t I get you something else for breakfast? What do you want?”

Bruce scooped his youngest up, resting him on his hip so he could see everything in the pantry.

“Cheerios,” Jon said, pointing. Bruce grabbed the box and handed it to him as he set him down. “Thank you, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome,” Bruce sighed, glad the little one still thanked him. “You two, go.” He waved the dogs off, and they bounded out of the room, running into the rest of the manor.

He made sure his two youngest were settled and eating peacefully before going to find his twins. They both seemed the most upset, it was probably best to handle them first.

Bruce knocked on their door, and opened it when he heard a quiet ‘yeah?’

Kon was lounging on his bed, folding what looked like homework into a paper airplane but one thing at a time. Tim was at their shared desk, scribbling something down with a pen.

“What’s going on with you two this morning?” Bruce asked, going to sit on Tim’s bed.

“Jason kept taking my stuff and holding it up high where I couldn’t reach it,” Tim said, setting his pen down and closing his eyes. “He wouldn’t give me back my phone, he keeps sending stupid texts to Stephanie.”

“I’ll talk to him about that,” Bruce nodded, not looking forward to that. Since Jason was 13 he seemed to just like tormenting his little brothers. It wasn’t until Conner hit his growth spurt that he focused his efforts solely on Tim. “And I understand breakfast wasn’t your fault, but please try to be gentler with Jon. He’s still little.”

Kon grunted, tossing his airplane so it would land on the desk in front of Tim. The shorter of the two opened it, saw ‘I’m Bored’ scribbled on the back of a worksheet.

“Okay, but you can’t just copy my homework,” Tim said, flipping it over to reveal a blank sheet. “So do it.”

“Ugh,” Kon groaned, getting up to grab the paper and go back to his bed.

“You boys finish that before you go out today,” Bruce said, saw Kon pulling his phone out. “And I’m sure Cassie doesn’t mind waiting until you homework is done to talk to you.”

Kon rolled his eyes, but still put his phone away.

Bruce smiled and got up to leave his twins to their homework. He headed down the hall until he heard music coming from Cass’s room. The door was opened, so he leaned his head in to see what she was up to.

She looked up from her phone and smiled, giving him a wave.

“Doing alright, Angel?”

“Okay,” She said, giving him a thumbs up.

Bruce smiled at her as he closed the door and started down the stairs again, intending to find Jason. When he did, he was back in the kitchen, drying the dishes Alfred was washing.

“Can I have Tim’s phone, please?” Bruce asked, holding a hand out. Jason sighed, reaching into his front pocket and pulling out the phone to hand him. Bruce checked the back to check that it was Tim’s, and that was confirmed by the superboy logo sticker on the back. “Must you bother him all the time?”

“I was just teasing him a little,” Jason rolled his eyes. Difficult boy, he was.

“Well, Tim doesn’t like to be teased, Jason,” Bruce said, stuffing the phone in his own pocket. He’d give it back later when Tim was done with his homework. “He’s sensitive.”

“He needs to grow a pair,” Jason scoffed, and Bruce held his tongue. Telling Jason to keep it PG would only make him more difficult.

“Just apologize, please? I don’t want to hear that you’re teasing him anymore,” Bruce instructed, and Jason heaved a dramatic sigh as he put a plate away. “Don’t you huff at me, young man.”

“Bruce, come on, he’s my brother, I’m just giving him a hard time,” Jason said, and Alfred shoved a plate at his chest with some anger. Obviously Alfred agreed with Bruce.

“Well if you have to give someone a hard time, maybe pick your battles,” Bruce said. “I’m sure you can find better targets. Or, better yet, go for a drive and work off whatever is bothering you that makes you want to torment him.”

“Whatever,” Jason said, putting another plate in the cabinet.

“When you’re done here, I want you to apologize,” Bruce said, firm as he left the room. Alfred would talk to him, they always seemed to work out problems together better than Jason and Bruce.

He was just getting back out into the hall when the dogs came bounding past him to the foyer, barking up a storm as the front door opened.

Clark came in, smiling at the dogs and letting Krypto jump on him even though he wasn’t supposed to. He set his bag down and kicked off his shoes, getting down to their level to pet them so they would stop barking.

“Clark,” Bruce breathed, feeling the tension leave his shoulders. Eight children on his own was too much no matter how old they got. It was hard enough when it was just the two before he and Clark even got married. He wished he could go back and tell his younger self that it was good practice because he’d get more than a handful more children.

“Hey, handsome,” Clark said, standing up straight and grabbing the back of Bruce’s neck to pull him in for a kiss. “What’s the matter?”

“The kids are driving me nuts, Clark,” Bruce sighed, stepping into his husband’s embrace and resting a head on his shoulder. “Jason is teasing Tim and Dick snuck out and Conner ate all the lucky charms.”

“Okay, one of those things is not like the other,” Clark furrowed his brows, trying to see Bruce’s face. He didn’t get the chance to though, since he heard small feet bounding through the manor and he only had a few moments to brace himself before.

“Papa!”

Jon came running down the stairs, right into Clark’s outstretched arms. He lifted his son up so he was between the two of them, and Bruce gave the boy a tired smile and a kiss on the temple.

“I missed you, Papa,” Jon said, and Clark beamed.

“I missed you too, Sweetheart,” He held his youngest son close, rocking him gently like he used to when Jon was a baby. “Were you good for Daddy while I was gone?”

“Uh huh,” Jon nodded, and Bruce nodded behind his back.

“That’s my little guy,” Clark ruffled his hair, and moved to set him down. “Do me a favor, okay? Go let everyone know I’m home.”

“Okay!” Jon yelled as he ran back for the stairs, stumbling as he tried to go faster than his legs allowed.

“That’ll buy us at least a few minutes,” Clark said, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go sneak out before they get back.”

Bruce led the way up the stairs to the master bedroom, avoiding any children they almost encountered along the way. Jon was bouncing into everyone’s rooms, telling them that Papa was home. Bruce heard a pillow being thrown and someone groaning, but chose to ignore it in favor of five minutes alone with his husband.

“So how are Ma and Pa?” Bruce asked as he shut the door to their room.

“They’re perfectly fine,” Clark smiled as he started undoing his flannel shirt, revealing a plain white t-shirt underneath. “Miss you and the kids.”

“I’m sure the kids miss them too,” Bruce nodded. “I know Conner really wanted to go with you.”

“He can come with me and miss school when his grades are up,” Clark tossed his shirt towards the hamper.

“I think they’re working on that now,” Bruce explained. “But they can tell you all about that later.” He headed over to their bed and flopped face-down onto the mattress, still unmade and comfy from when he had woken that morning. He felt Clark on top of him, straddling his hips and sitting on his ass.

“They too much for you?” Clark asked, running a his hands over Bruce’s back.

“No,” Bruce said, and they never were. They might be difficult and make him crazy, but never too much. “Not sure what got into them today.”

“Forget all about them,” Clark said, massaging near the base of Bruce’s spine. Bruce smirked into the bedding before bucking his hips back a little so Clark would rise enough that he could roll over. He smiled up at his husband as he settled for sitting on his pelvis. “Let me help.”

Clark leaned over to give him a small peck on the lips, which became two pecks, then three.

“Door’s not locked, Clark,” Bruce whispered, smirking.

“Don’t care,” Clark whispered back, leaning in for another kiss.

But then the door opened and eight children and a butler were spilling into the room.

“Oh, gross,” Jason grimaced, standing in the doorway with Dick.

“Come on, guys,” Dick said, and Clark chuckled as he got off of Bruce to greet his kids.

“Relax, you two,” Clark rolled his eyes, helping Jon up onto the bed and into his lap. Damian scrambled up as well, snuggling under one of Clark’s arms without a word. “What’s this I hear about everyone fighting this morning?”

Four kids started talking at once, silenced only by Bruce holding up a hand.

“Can’t you all get along without me here?” Clark asked, raising a brow.

“Not the same without you here, Pop,” Conner said, taking the lead and sitting at the end of the bed. Tim flopped down beside him, the two still attached at the hip.

“Missed you boys too,” Clark handed off the youngest to Bruce and leaned forward to pull them both into a hug, one under each arm. Cass came forward next, giving Clark a kiss on the cheek and signing ‘I love you’ to him, which he returned. Duke also stepped forward, giving Clark a small smile, still not totally comfortable with his Kansas affection yet. “And you two?”

Clark raised a brow at the oldest still in the doorway. He got up to meet Dick halfway in a hug, taking note of the lose scarf Dick had on.

“What’s this I hear about you sneaking out?” Clark whispered, and Dick puffed out a breath. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Okay,” Dick nodded, stepping back so Jason could have a turn.

“Welcome back, old man,” Jason said, letting Clark embrace him.

“I do suggest we let your father get unpacked,” Alfred said, and Clark stopped himself from breathing a sigh of relief. He did miss his kids a ton, but sleeping alone was never great and he could use some time with his husband.

Before they could leave however, the dogs came bounding in and jumped onto the bed. Jon let out a laugh, Damian squealed, Tim and Conner sputtered as the dogs stepped on them. Even Bruce, who normally had a strict no dogs on the bed rule, just sighed and gave Clark a tired smile.

It was good to be home with his family again.

[evergreena]

Tricks for Treats

My belated final fic for the Batfam Halloween Content War is here at last! I’ve had so much fun participating in this event, and you all have been a fantastic audience. This last piece is pure tooth-rotting fluff, to make up for the more angsty stuff I’ve been posting. 

Rating: Gen

Summary: Alfred knows who likes what kind of candy and sneakily makes sure they each come across their favorites one way or another.

AO3 Link | FF.net

It was the first Halloween that everyone was together and alive and not actively trying to kill each other, and Alfred meant to make it a memorable one for all the right reasons. However, the first step of his master plan involved tricking every family member into being at the Manor that day, for one reason or another. For some of them, this was easier said than done.

Damian was easy, as all Alfred had to do was let him know that Batcow was off her feed (a tiny white lie). Damian instantly declared that he would stay close to home to keep an eye on her for the night.

Dick needed no tricks or white lies. He probably would have come on his own regardless, but Alfred called him anyway, and they had a lovely chat about nothing in particular until Alfred mentioned the possibility of a movie night with Damian. Dick practically cheered over the phone. “I’ll be there! Do you think Dames would like Nightmare Before Christmas? Or is that a Christmas movie? Never mind, I’ll bring a few options and we can decide later.”

Cass seemed to know what Alfred was up to, and before he could even ask she stood on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek and promised that she’d take care of getting Stephanie there as well.

Tim had caught a cold from an all-night stakeout in the rain the night before, so he was strictly banned from leaving the Manor anyway, which he complained about to anyone who was close enough to hear. It was made slightly less annoying by the amusing fact that his scratchy voice cracked every time he said anything.

Barbara expressed delight when Alfred invited her to join him for tea and spiced cider. He carefully left out that it would already be a full house.

Jason was a bit more challenging. Alfred finally realized that he would need to recruit help. Cass agreed to be his secret weapon. “Bruce is your problem,” she said firmly. “Jason is mine.”

Bruce. Yes. Master Bruce could be a problem. Alfred considered his options as he cleaned the sink in the kitchen. He needed an emergency of some kind. Tim’s health? Damian acting up? Or perhaps an attack on the manor itself?

In the end, he send a simple text message: “Master Bruce, a word.” That was vague enough that Bruce might actually be concerned that he’d missed some important appointment.

Satisfied that his trap was set, Alfred went about to make the rest of his preparations.

When Dick arrived at the Manor early that evening with an armload of animated movies, he found the main entrance bedecked in cobwebs that sparkled with tiny lights. He grinned at Alfred as soon as the butler greeted him in the hall. “Wow, you’ve stepped up your decoration game this year, haven’t you, Alf? I love it! Where’s the Damester?”

“He’s concerned about the cow, Master Dick. You’ll find him downstairs. But first, would you help me with something?”

Dick cocked his head to one side. “Of course! What’s up?”

Alfred handed him a bowl. “It appears that no one in this house likes candy corn. I seem to remember that you appreciate it. Is that still the case?”

Dick awkwardly took the bowl. “Uh, sure, it’s tradition… Thanks, Alf.” He did enjoy candy corn. But…

While Alfred went upstairs to check on Tim, Dick snuck into the kitchen. He opened the cereal cupboard and found to his delight that every one of his favorites had been restocked since his last visit.  He pulled out the box of Honey Nut Chex and laughed out loud. Alfred had left a note that wished him a “Happy Halloween.” That crafty old rascal had known Dick would do this! He chuckled as he dumped Chex into the bowl of candy corn and mixed it up. Presto. Instant Halloween movie snack mix! He took the bowl and went to go find Damian.

One cryptic message from his sister and he lost all self-control. That’s all it took. Jason grumbled inwardly as he sped his bike into the driveway of Wayne Manor. He’d been so determined to have a good quiet Halloween all to himself, and then Cass sent him that.

The message was all emojis, in typical Cassandra fashion: emergency light, praying hands, house, wristwatch. He took that to mean, “I need your help, please come to the manor right now.” He’d texted her a dozen times after that, trying to convey his frustration and telling her to bother someone else for help, but she’d gone silent. He worried. So he got off his butt and raced over to the manor.

When he arrived, he burst in through the front door, a little perplexed by the decorations. “Cass? Helloooo?”

The lights flickered off suddenly, and Jason fell into a ready stance, his hand over the concealed gun in his jacket.

A flashlight beam suddenly lit up a face in front of him. He lurched back, but it was only Cass, holding the light under her face. She grinned, revealing fake vampire teeth, and waggled her eyebrows at him.

“Cass,” he sighed. “Please tell me you didn’t text me just so I’d come for Halloween.”

She swept the flashlight beam in his eyes, blinding him.

“Ow! Hey, cut that out!”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him along, her cheap vampire cape fluttering behind her and tickling his arm. She pulled him into the kitchen, where some furious baking had been abandoned. She pointed at some bat-shaped sugar cookies and red licorice. “Help,” she said, then settled herself onto a stool at the counter and began piping black icing faces onto the bats.

Against his better judgement, he sat next to her. “What do you need me to do?”

She gestured at the red licorice. “Vampire bats need blood.”

He snorted. She wanted him to put red licorice pieces on the cookies? Fine. He could do that. Then maybe he could get out of here before Bruce or Dick or the Replacement showed up.

Either Cass didn’t notice, or chose not to comment on the way he kept sneaking pieces of licorice. After all, it was his favorite candy, and tonight was Halloween.

Steph loved Halloween. And not just because of the candy. She loved being spooked, she loved the decorations, and she loved dressing up. She’d had the most difficult time picking a costume this year, but then Tim had sarcastically suggested she just go as her favorite food. That had amused her so much that she actually made herself a waffle costume to spite him.

When Cass texted her that she’d made cookies at the manor, Steph needed no encouragement. She arrived in costume, rang the doorbell until Alfred arrived, and shouted, “Trick or treat!”

To her surprise, Alfred was ready for this, and dumped a heaping handful of candy in her purse.

To her even greater surprise, it was all Skittles. Regular, tropical, and several other special limited edition versions. “Alfred, how did you KNOW?” she gaped.

“Miss Brown, I make it my business to know exactly what each of you enjoy. My methods shall remain my own.”

Then it was her turn to surprise him when she flung her arms around him and gave him a legendary Stephanie Brown glomp. He patted her head gently in return.

“-Tt-“ came a scornful noise from further back in the hall. Steph peeked around Alfred to see Damian regarding her with his lip curled. “It does not surprise me that you would engage in such a childish behavior as dressing as a breakfast food,” he said in that stupid smirking tone.

Steph immediately ripped open a bag of Skittles and flung them all at Damian, catching him off guard. They smacked into his face and scattered into all corners of the hall.

“Miss Brown!” came Alfred’s mild rebuke. “I expect you will find and dispose of every last piece of candy in this hall!”

“Worth it!” she called over her shoulder as she chased Damian into the house.

Tim woke to the sounds of shrieks and yells elsewhere in the house. It didn’t help his headache much, that was for certain.

He sat up groggily in bed, noticing how the covers had been tucked in around him securely. Alfred had been here. Another sign of Alfred’s handiwork: the tray on the bedside table, laden with some still-hot soup and a bottle of pills. Tim grimaced. The soup smelled amazing, and his stomach grumbled. Maybe he was actually on the mend now.

After drinking half the soup, he realized that the pill bottle was unlabeled. Huh. That was very unlike Alfred. In fact, it seemed exceedingly strange, now that he thought about it. He picked up the bottle and shook it. It rattled with the sound of tiny pills. He twisted the cap and peeked inside. Whatever the pills were, they smelled fruity. Vitamins?

He dumped some into his hand and immediately laughed out loud when he recognized what they were.

“What are you doing, Drake?”

Tim nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden voice near his elbow. His sudden jerk in surprise sent the little colorful pellets onto the bedspread. “Damian! Now look at what you made me do!”

Damian leaned over to inspect the colorful pieces. “What are they?” He picked one up between his thumb and forefinger and sniffed.

Tim dumped some more into his hand and smiled. “They’re Nerds!” He popped the small handful into his mouth. The tangy sweetness woke up him a bit more. He glanced at his little brother and nearly choked at the disgusted expression he wore. “Damian, it’s okay. It’s candy.”

Damian frowned. “Oh. You would enjoy a candy that could have been named after you.”

Tim blinked. “What.”

Damian’s lips twitched, threatening to undermine his carefully prepared frown. “You know what they say: you are what you eat!”

Cass didn’t mind the chaos in the kitchen. It was a friendly kind of chaos, she could tell by the relaxed way her brothers were fighting. Dick had shown up before she and Jason had finished decorating the cookies, and insisted on joining them, since he’d somehow lost Damian.

Cass was content to stick little candy red-hots on the bats for eyes while Jason fought Dick for the icing bag.

“Give it back, Dickface! I was using that!”

“No, I’m not going to let you write ‘Batman sucks’ on all the cookies! You go back to eating licorice. Someone with taste should do this part!”

“Well, that rules you out!”

“I’m not the one with helmet hair.”

Cass smiled. Her brothers used so many words, but despite their occasionally rough banter, she knew deep down they cared. And that made her feel all warm and fuzzy. But, if she didn’t intervene soon, the cookies were in danger.

So, she climbed on the counter and reached into the baking cupboard for another icing bag. She found a bin of candy and sprinkles instead. She pulled it down and opened it curiously.

“Hey, whatcha got there, Cass?” Dick asked, still holding the icing bag out of Jason’s reach. “Did you find Alfie’s hidden stash of candy decorations?”

She opened the bin and let out a small gasp of delight. Her brothers crowded close to see what she’d found.

The bin was completely full of sour candy, including her absolute favorite: Warheads.

Jason made a face. “You like those things? They’re just coated with that awful artificial sour salt. They’ll kill your taste buds.”

She ignored him and carefully unwrapped each one, setting it on the counter in a row. Jason and Dick watched, their earlier argument forgotten for the moment. When she’d finished unwrapping a dozen Warheads, she picked the first one up and walked over to the sink to rinse off the sour salt and get to the sweet interior.

Jason smirked. “Wow, Cass, maybe you don’t realize, but that is what we call cheating.”

Instantly, Cass was on him. Before Jason even realized what was happening, she’d stuffed a fistful of sour Warheads in his mouth.

As Jason gagged and coughed into the sink, Cass nodded at Dick, who couldn’t stop laughing at the whole thing. “Not cheating,” she said matter-of-factly. “Life hack.”

When Barbara arrived at the manor, she probably should have expected the chaos, but she was still taken aback when Jason rushed outside in his socks and hopped in her car’s passenger seat.

Before she could demand what was going on, Damian followed, snarling like a wild animal, with a piece of caramel stuck in his hair.

Jason locked the car doors. “Since Alf banned us from helping with the caramel apples, I’m just gonna take a nap in here,” he said. “Don’t mind me.” He laid the seat back and closed his eyes as Damian pounded the window.

Babs was sorely tempted to hit the “eject” button, but instead she simply unlocked the doors and let Damian try to yank his much larger brother out of the car by his feet. “Come on, Todd, don’t be a Drake!”

Tim poked his head out the front door, wrapped in a blanket and looking a little healthier now that he’d actually gotten some sleep. “Did you seriously just use my name as an insult?”

By the time Babs made it to the kitchen, all three younger boys were yelling at each other in the hall. She glared at Alfred as she rolled up to the table, which was covered with sticky caramel pieces and bruised apples. “Thanks for inviting me into this disaster zone,” she said. She took the cup of steaming hot cider from Alfred and breathed in the scent of cinnamon and cloves and the secret mulling spices Alfred always used. Ah. That alone made it worth coming out here.  

“You’re very welcome,” Alfred said with an incline of his head. “Would you care for a caramel apple?”

The chaos had settled some by the time they actually started the movie. Damian wasn’t sure how Grayson had done it, but somehow he’d managed to convince Jason to stick around for “Hotel Transylvania.” Damian let Dick snuggle him a bit, though he refused to try any of the ridiculous “snack mix” that Dick shoved under his nose.

“I will not put that in my mouth,” he said. “I must draw the line somewhere.”

Dick looked hurt, but then he shrugged. “More for the rest of us, I guess.”

“You can have all of it,” Jason chimed in from his place on the floor. “I don’t think any of the rest of us would stoop to such unhealthy eating habits. Except maybe the Replacement.”

“Hey!” Tim said. “I’m sick!”

“Exactly my point.”

Damian barely focused on the zany animated film, especially once he noticed that his father had entered, and was silently watching them from the door to the den. Apparently Alfred had already spoken to him, because he wore that “I’ve been scolded by someone older than me and I refuse to admit I was wrong,” face. Damian could read it because, well, it took one to know one.

Nobody else seemed to notice Bruce, so Damian settled in closer to Dick on the couch and frowned every time his brother munched on that hideous mix of cereal and candy corn.

Then he noticed something on the armrest next to him. He blinked at it. It was a dark chocolate truffle. A real homemade truffle.

He glanced around and noticed Alfred exiting the room. Bruce raised an eyebrow at the man, but then he was gone. Bruce nodded to Damian as if to say, “He’ll spoil you rotten, but go ahead, it’s all yours.”

Damian took the truffle and savored every last moment as it melted in his mouth.

Somehow the kids lasted through the entire movie. Bruce had tried to leave at least twice, but Alfred’s glare was enough to make even the Batman compliant. As far as he could tell, only Damian and Cass had noticed him, but then again, Jason had fallen asleep on the rug, and Tim was probably still a bit feverish, so he didn’t fault them for not being alert.

When the movie ended, however, Dick said without turning around, “Hey B, why don’t you take a seat and join us!” So he’d noticed as well.

Bruce approached the group and rested his hands on the back of the couch where Dick and Damian sat. Jason stirred and gave him a sleepy one-eyed glare which Bruce took to mean, “I still hate you but I’m too tired to do anything about it, so you’re off the hook for now.” He could live with that.

“What do you wanna watch next?” Dick asked. “Coraline? Paranorman? The Skeleton Dance?”

Bruce let them argue for a bit before he said, “How about Casper?”

They all froze in mid-argument. “What. The. Heck.” Jason said. “Of all our options, you want to watch that campy movie about a ghost who died tragically as a child? Why the hula-hoop would you even suggest that?!”

Before Bruce could react, Alfred approached with a silver platter. He held it out, revealing a single candy bar that he held in front of Bruce’s nose. “Please, sir, eat a Snickers. You’re not you when you’re hungry.”

The entire room erupted with hoots of laughter that lasted long into the night.

Alfred carefully closed Tim’s bedroom door behind him, satisfied that the teen had actually gone to bed and was not on his laptop or some other device. All the others had turned in as well. Even Jason had not put up a fight when Alfred suggested that they all stay in the Manor for the night, since it was so late already. Alfred returned to the den to clean up the mess of popcorn and candy and blankets from the family movie night. To his surprise, he found that Master Bruce was there, seated near the fireplace.

“Happy Halloween, Alfred,” Bruce said quietly, and held out a small bowl.

Alfred took it and was instantly transported to another place and time. The bowl contained traditional British candies, from Jelly Babies and Allsorts to Winegums and a Sherbet Fountain.

“Sir,” Alfred said, astonished. “When did you..?”

“On my last business trip. I’m glad I did. I had no idea that you were going to go to all this trouble to make the day special for the kids.”

Alfred smiled. “My pleasure, Master Bruce. Happy Halloween, sir.”

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s03e02 In Name and Blood - or more aptly named, Strauss you’re a fucking bitch I hope they fire you and your perty little ass, also Derek and Penelope seriously need to get together or I’m gonna lose my shit. Oh god, my heart is aching over losing Mandy Patinkin. Oh well, let’s hope they bring someone new and just as good.

Episode 02 – In Name and Blood

Hey guys! So last episode is a little blurry to me, that’s why I’m glad they have the ‘previously on Criminal Minds’ bit, most of the time it just annoys me.

Oh my god, this episode’s name is definitely not helping me feel better about this season. It has the word blood in it. Oh god.

Let’s see what happens.

Oh that is hot, a sex scene to open the episode officially? Yummy. But why does it have to be in red? I really don’t like where this is going.

Well, of course. It’s actually a tied-up woman, and the guy is crazy as fuck. shit.

My poodle is waking up! He slept in Gideon’s office? Oh, honey!

Awwww he waited for Gideon cuz they were supposed to play chess. I just fell in love with Matthew all over again. POODLE!

Wait. So the second episode is two weeks apart from the first? Okay. Good to know.

Aww, domestic Hotchner.

Look how Jack has grown! So cute!

“Getting suspended was a blessing in disguise.” Really, Hayley? REALLY? So he’s supposed to just sit at home and do nothing and be there with you? What about getting out there and kicking ass and saving lives? That’s the whole point of the show. YOU ARE RUINING IT FOR ME!

I’m not used to being pissed at Hayley, this is weird.

But I can’t be pissed at her cuz she brought Jack to the show and he’s cute.

“What, no Hotch, now no Gideon?” apparently, but now I get you in a button-up Derek, so now everything’s okay.

“You’d think the least they could do is be here on time.” “Yeah, cuz you’re never late.” Poodle, why must you taunt my puppy? That’s not very nice.

Ooh! They’re heading for Milwaukee? SHOUT OUT! I used to live six years in Shorewood, just on the outskirts of Milwaukee, so it’s like I’m from there. I love it! HELLO WISCONSIN!

Piqued interest in Derek is hot.

Shock from poodle is amazing.

And now I’m horrified because the fucker is carving the hearts out of his victims. Shit.

George Washington: “Let your heart feel for the affliction and distress of everyone.” Well, that is certainly going to be hard to do.

Wait. I’m confused. Is Hotch coming back to work or not? I’m really not understanding where this is going, and even the scenario I have in my mind isn’t very positive.

Someone should tell this man that he’s a cardio-hazard to women and gay men everywhere.

Wait. I just realized. Shemar shaved his goatee. Oh, honey! I actually liked the scruff.

Oh, confused, hurt puppy. Hotch is transferring? What? No! Please, don’t, Hotch. I can’t have you shaking my puppy’s world like this and abandoning him. Please no.

And what about poodle? He’ll be devastated!

“What if we don’t want a new unit chief?” oh honey, baby! I love you so much! And your hurt expression is hurting me.

“Look, man, are you a pain in my ass? Yes, sir. But wanting to hang out with you and needing you to lead this team are two very different things.” Oh babycakes, I feel you. And don’t you give me those puppy-dog eyes because I am melting in my chair right now.

Wait. Hold the phone. Bitch gave Hotchner the impression he was free to choose where to go after he resigned from the BAU, then she tells him she needs to complete an investigation and just throws a position she deems fit with the proposition of a comfortable work schedule that will play on his need to be with his family. WHAT? Are you shitting me right now? I’m about to cut a bitch. And that bitch’s name is Erin Strauss.

Also, why is Prentiss resigning?

What the fuck is going on here? My emotions are completely equivalent to those of Hotch’s.

Wait, so Prentiss is leaving because of the bitch, too? Oh my god. I am so hating this lady right now.

Wait. She wants to oversee the case? Instead of Hotch? Until she finds a replacement? She’s incompetent as fuck! All she can do is hire and fire people, that’s what she’s good for. What the fuck is she playing at? God, I hate that lady.

So she wants to kick out Jason and Aaron? Fuck you.

“You know, from this angle, she almost looks human.” Ha. JJ I love you so much.

Aww, my poodle misses Prentiss. So cute.

And Derek, I am totally with you, buddy. This is bad.

And lady, don’t you dare speak to my superheroes. You are a bitch. A cold-hearted bitch.

LOL, Reid trying to gossip about Strauss right before she comes in on their conversation, cutiepie.

Well, it’s obvious Strauss isn’t used to seeing graphic photos. So why the fuck did she want to go on that case? She’s an idiot.

And I don’t want to be on the other side of those ‘I don’t like you, bitch’ stares of Derek’s. though if I’m a bystander, I’m about to cream my panties.

Aw!!!!!! So first Penelope is trying to convince Prentiss not to leave, and now she’s trying to dissuade Hotchner from it.

Oh baby, you’re trying to keep the family together and I absolutely love you.

WHAT? “This is your fifth victim … you should have called us sooner.” Seriously, bitch? You’re trying to demean the detective working the case, after he calls for your help, and then expect him to fully cooperate with you? Go to hell, would you? That’s JJ’s job. Take her to school, Jayje.

SERIOUSLY? JJ is trying to instruct her correctly, and she’s threatening her? FUCK YOU!

Hayley. Why are you so pissed at Aaron for looking at the photos? He’s home with you. Stop it.

Oh god. She actually wants him to take the white-collar thing and leave the BAU? Hell no.

“Well, Strauss just offended the lead detective 45 seconds into her first crime scene.” “I’m not surprised.” Oh honey.

That kid is so cute. But pleased tell me he’s not helping his dad abduct those women. Oh my god.

Oh god. Fuck you, asshole.

That’s one hot position for him.

“Garcia, baby girl, please tell me something I want to hear.”

“You’re a statuesque god of sculpted chocolate thunder.”

“How about something I don’t already know?”

“I have a sweet tooth?”

Someone please shut them in the supply closet for 45 minutes so they can get it out of their system, please. And I’m only saying 45 because they need to properly love on each other.

Oh thank god my god of chocolate thunder also has a functioning brain. Thank you, whoever popped Derek out into the world. Your pain is definitely my pleasure.

Fuck, why would Derek know that it’s not easy to crack clean into breastbone? Oh my poor puppy.

He’s harvesting his victims’ hearts? That sick fucker. Screw you.

I mean, you’re hot, dude, but you need to stop.

Aw, Hotchner made mac and cheese for Jack! You cutie! Now I want mac and cheese.

Still nothing from Gideon. Shit.

Hahahaha Aaron didn’t actually file yet for the transfer. You little shit.

That little kid is doing multiplication for extra credit? You’re a smart cookie. What are you doing with a daddy like that? And what the fuck is wrong with the lady offering to help? You are one crazy fucker, you know that, daddy? You need to be put down. Make him the damn sandwich and get out of there.

I mean, I get Hayley, I get it, she wants her husband with her. But Aaron is a loyal lapdog. Okay? He’s loyal to a fault. He’s committed to the BAU team, no matter what. You can’t just switch it off. I really hope he’ll find a good solution and that Hayley can stop and take a moment to get her head out of her ass.

Wow, that’s a really nice apartment, Prentiss. I want one just like that.

So Aaron thinks Emily gave dirt to Strauss. Oh honey, that is so wrong. She asked for it, but she didn’t give anything to that bitch.

Yay. Emily’s back. Let’s go.

Yay. JJ is smart! They have to focus now on the boy.

Let’s call Garcia.

“Talk dirty to me.” :O

“This is section chief Erin Strauss.” Oh my god, I’m dying laughing here.

“Ma’am, I think it goes without saying that I was expecting it to be someone else.” Oh dear lord, I needed this so much!

She did not cut off my baby girl while trying to apologize to her! That woman is a bitch. I would have laughed so fucking hard at that.

And Derek’s frustration at Garcia is so unjustified! Sure it was mortifying, but that was the funniest shit they ever pulled in this series, and I love this!

They should put Derek in more tight clothes. Fuck this is doing things to me.

That dad is totally nuts. I want him away from the cute kid.

Oh that kid did not just say that! Oh shit, he just hit the kid! What? Oh my god, that dad needs to be put away. Oh my goodness gracious, please put that kid in foster care and kill the dad.

Derek checking his watch is hot. He can check me out any time.

YES! Aaron and Emily made it to Milwaukee. Now we can get this cheese party started.

Fuck you, Strauss.

Oh I love JJ denying everything in front of Strauss, like, don’t throw me under the bus here, Hotch. You’re here, shut up.

Why would the kid tell the lady that? Oh my god. That kid is so messed up. Fuck.

Ha. Strauss can’t handle the heat. Get out of there, bitch. And let the professionals do their work.

Aw, my poodle’s noodle is all screwed up because papa bear is away. Don’t worry, poodle, Aaron is here, and he’s more like a papa … what’s a cuddly animal that we can use? Shit. Papa bear is the only thing, isn’t it? Fuck. Um, Papa Smurf? Wait no, Gideon is Papa Smurf and Aaron is papa bear, awesome.

“FBI Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia speaking.” Oh you are one smart doodlebug, I love you, goddess.

“You’ll see it flying over the transom momentarily.”

“And one more thing – the glitches in the transfers and resignations stop now.” “Uh – yes, sir.” Wait. Penelope did that???? OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

You little cupcake. You are amazing, you know that?

So his dad has a tumor that can’t be operated on, the kid is a mess, and it’s seriously annoying me that he thinks it’s okay to treat women like that.

The nurse? Well, goodbye nurse.

Professional Derek is hot.

The Mayfair Mall! I love that mall! Don’t ruin it for me!

Strauss is annoying me with her protocols. She has a point, but I’m with Derek. You can’t risk her killing the damn nurse just because you have to wait for stupid protocols.

Whoa. That is crazy. Emily just volunteered to go in and scope the place out and try and find the dad from the inside. Fuck. You are amazing, lady, but you need to be careful, too.

Look at that yummy tushie.

Oh shit. Emily is going into the dad’s workshop. Fuck. Be careful, Em.

He did not just hurt Prentiss! Fuck!

What? He’s giving his son a gun? Fuck you! Fuck you, asshole! David, don’t! Don’t take it, David!

Yes! My superheroes are here!

Shit! The little boy has a fucking gun! Shit!

Derek Morgan, my hero.

I’m with you, angel fish, that is one sick asshole.

I hope he dies soon.

Yup. Hotchner never wanted to move up, he just wanted to work with his lovely team of misfits.

Aww, is my baby boy getting his leader back? I love you so much, Derek, and you’re such a softie it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.

Oh god, he has to talk to Hayley about it. Fuck.

I love Garcia’s new office. It’s so swanky and her. I love it!

Why is the house so dark? I don’t like this.

Oh god. Please don’t tell me she’s left him. That’s such a bitch move!

And Strauss, go fuck yourself!

Wait. Gideon is gone? That letter he wrote was meant for poodle? NO! WHY?????

Glamor shot!

Oh boy.

This is just breaking my heart.

I know this scene is terribly sad, I’m so heartbroken over losing Mandy in the show. But can we just talk about the fact that Matthew is wearing his wristwatch over the sweater? I love you for that!

Wow. He looks so relieved in this scene. It’s so sad to think all of this was so hard on him emotionally, as an actor. You know? You can just see all the tension is out of his eyes and it’s just amazing.

Okay, wow! That’s probably one of the longest reviews I’ve ever written for this series! Shit! So of course, I’m seriously broken up over Mandy leaving the show, I mean come on, Inigo! You don’t leave your friends! Ever! But fine, I guess people have their own preferences and priorities and can handle graphic scenes in their own separate ways and it was probably weighing on him. I get it. Some of this shit has been hard on me, too. But I got hooked the instant I saw Shemar’s yummy mocha skin, so I’m a goner.

Oh my god, speaking of which, his banter with Penelope and the whole messing up in front of Strauss was EPIC! I love this series so much, and I honestly hope they tap into that more because it’s glorious and alleviates the seriousness and I need more of it, cuz the end of season 2 had me so depressed I needed to take a break from reviewing this.

So pissed at Hayley for just up and leaving Aaron like this, you’re a bitch, girl! And I really hope she will at least let him be a part of Jack’s life, because that’s not nice at all.

So, I’m gonna leave this here. Because my fingers hurt. And because I want to see what happens next XD I’ll see you all later, lovelies <3

[fxyeahriverdale-blog]

What Happened To Us?

Chapter 6: Don’t wait until it’s too late

A/N: I edited this myself, so please be nice haha

Read this story on AO3

"Stop!" Jughead looks over to see Betty in a cheerleading uniform. That's a new fantasy. He blinks and she is covered in blood. Her green eyes are filled with tears. Her honey blonde hair now has streaks of red.

Jughead shakes his continuing nightmare out of his head. He doesn't know if it is some sort of memory or his mind playing tricks on him. He needs some answers.

Jughead sat down and tapped his fingers as he waited. He wasn’t sure what exactly he is expecting.

“Well this is a surprise.” Chuck Clayton sits across from Jughead with a smug smile on his face. Jughead is not exactly sure why he is here. He woke up this morning after having the same nightmare for the fourth night in a row and bought a ticket to Greendale. His feet took control once he was dropped off at the Greendale bus station. Jughead eventually found himself standing at the entrance to the Greendale prison.

“Chuck.” Even though Chuck is a minor for a few months, he is being charged as an adult and being placed in adult prison.

“And what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I want answers. I want to know what happened.”

“Why don’t you ask your girlfriend?” Jughead looks at Chuck confused. He is always confused these days.

“Aw that’s right I heard about the memory loss. Why don’t you ask Betty?” Jughead shifts uncomfortably hearing Chuck say Betty’s name.”I am sure she has a lot to say.” Chuck smiles and Jughead feels sick.”Has she not told you?”

“Leave her out of this.” Jughead lashes out.

“Ooh I hit a nerve. So I guess there is a lot that Betty Cooper has not updated you about. She walks around like she is an angel sent from above, but she is just the devil in a pink cardigan. Did she tell you about the time she locked me in a pool house, drugged me, and handcuffed me to the hot tub? She turned up the temperature attempting to boil me alive before going on a crazy rant pretending to be her sister. And how could I forget the outfit she wore that night when she dressed up like a hooker. Black bra, black skirt, black wig, black high heels, and slutty red lipstick. The things I would have done to that crazy bitch.” Jughead gets out of his seat and Chuck laughs.

“You are so full of shit Chuck.”

“Did she also tell you about the time she slapped me at your party?” His party? Jughead laughs at the thought. He would never have a party. He knows that Jughead

“I would never have a party! You need to up your lying game Chuck.”

“You’ll soon find out Jughead that I am one of the few people in this town that won’t lie to you.” Jughead's blood boils when he sees Chuck's evil smirk.

“Well this was a waste of time.” Jughead motions over to the guard. He doesn’t care about getting details anymore. Jughead cannot spend anymore time being in the same room with Chuck.

Jughead walks out of the meeting area not even looking back. Chuck and Betty have always hated each other, but he could never imagine Betty going as far as Chuck says. He would do anything to hurt others. Chuck Clayton is sick. Jughead officially hates his guts. Chuck Clayton has always been a horrible person. He has bullied him throughout the years alongside Reggie Mantle. Ever since Jughead’s first day of school Chuck has gone out of his way to make him feel bad. He remembers his first day of school like it was yesterday.

He had lost his two front teeth the day before. His mom gave him some change to buy lunch. Jughead could only afford some mini corn dogs and a carton of milk. He had not talked to any of the kids in his class yet, so he sat down Chuck Clayton a first grader walks over with his friend Jason Blossom. They took Jughead's milk and drank it right in front of him. Chuck grabbed Jughead's apple and began to eat it, "Hey that is not very nice." Jughead looked up to see a blonde girl from his kindergarten class. She was wearing a pink dress with polka dots. She had a nice pink ribbon in her ponytail with perfect curls.

"Go away little girl."

"I'll tell Ms. Baker."

"Tattletale." Chuck teases trying to get Betty to back off, but she stands her ground. Betty looks over at their kindergarten teacher. "See you later Beanie boy." Chuck and Jason retreated. Jughead expected Betty to leave as well."Can I sit with you?" She asks politely. Jughead looks at the blonde girl intimidated. "Sure." Jughead tries to play it cool. "I am Betty." She smiles at him revealing her smile with her two front teeth missing. "Jughead." He smiles back. "Hey we both lost our teeth." Betty says before giggling."I lost mine two days ago." "I lost mine last night." Betty waves over at two people to join them. Two boys join them at the table. Jughead recognized one of the boys. Archie. Their dads work together and they have play dates sometimes. Jughead had hoped that they would be in the same class, but Archie is in the other kindergarten class. "Jughead." Archie says excitedly.

"I am Kevin." The other boy says. Jughead smiles at the two boys.

Betty takes her milk out of her pink lunch box and hands it to Jughead.

"No thank you." Jughead says shyly.

"I don't like milk. My mom makes me drink it." Jughead takes the milk from Betty.

"Thanks Betty." Jughead smiles at the pretty blonde girl. She is the nicest person he had ever met in his young life. Suddenly school seemed a little less horrible.

Jughead didn't realize it for a long time, but the first day of Kindergarten was not only the day Chuck Clayton made Jughead his permanent bullying target, but the day that he fell in love with Betty Cooper.

Jughead can get over the bullying without hating Chuck, but he cannot get over the way he talked about Betty.

“Jughead?” Jughead turns around to see Sheriff Keller filling out paperwork.”What are you doing here?”

“I don't know," Jughead answers honestly.

“Visting Chuck isn’t such a good idea. Not with an upcoming trial. You can get all of the answers there. Speaking of the trial. Chuck’s lawyers are really pushing a case here. We need to look through your phone again."

“I thought you guys still had it.”

“I gave it to Betty Cooper a few weeks ago.” Betty has his phone?

“Oh ya right. Sorry brain damage messing with my head again. I left it at home. I’ll drop it by this week before the trial.”

Jughead walks out of the Greendale police station more confused than when he walked in.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Betty hello. Earth to Elizabeth Cooper.” Betty snaps out of her thoughts and looks back at Kevin.”Are you okay?”

“Ya sorry, continue.” Kevin is telling Betty his exciting California stories. Kevin looks at her hesitantly than continues.

“You have barely touched your milkshake in the last hour. It’s probably melted by now.” Betty looks down at her almost melted full milkshake.

“I want to hear more.” Betty tries her best to change the subject. She bashes her eyelashes at Kevin knowing that will do the trick.

Betty California men are everything. There are so many attractive gay men. It was the jackpot. If dad knew what I got up to in California, he would lock me up alongside FP Jones in the Sheriff's station and never let me out.”

“Maybe we should move to California.” Betty suggests. She is half joking. Right now anywhere but Riverdale sounds nice.

“California is the American Dream. We have to go! I used my cousin’s friend’s brother’s fake ID to go out to beach bars. So many hot straight and gay men. Having sex on the beach trumps sweet water river for sure.”

“So you’re over Joaquin officially?” Betty asks carefully.

“I guess so. Finding out that the first relationship that I have ever had was a lie is a hard thing to get over.” Betty is unconvinced. She had witnessed the two together several times. She saw the way that Joaquin looked at Kevin. It may have started out as fake, but anyone could see that Joaquin liked Kevin.

“I don’t believe that. Joaquin had genuine feelings. Nobody is that good of a liar.”

“Typical Betty Cooper always wanting to see the best in people.”

“How did you cope after Joaquin left?”

“We all have our ways of coping with broken relationships. I distracted myself for a bit because we found Jason’s murderer and then Fred got shot. I was in denial for a while, thinking that he would come back. It has been months and I still haven't heard anything from him since he got on that bus. I guess I started to heal when I finally started to mourn the end of my relationship. And then I decided to use the old fashioned method of getting over someone by getting under someone. Which I have done a lot of.”

“Does it work?”

“It’ll never really work without closure. I will never get answers about why he did what he did. I will never know if he had any genuine feelings or not. It drives me nuts that I will never know.”

“I am sorry Kev.”

“Hooking up with people is just a temporary solution, but it's nice to not to feel alone sometimes." "Kev you're never alone." Betty grabs Kevin's hand. "Thanks Betty. Okay seriously you have not touched your whipped cream or your strawberry. There is something seriously wrong with you. Spill.”

“It’s nothing Kevin, really.”

“Boy problems?" Betty avoids eye contact."Right on the money." Kevin is so happy with himself for guessing correctly what is wrong with Betty. "I know a lot about boy issues. You can talk about it you know.”

“Kevin we’re here to talk about your trip-”

“And you. I have been gone through this traumatic time. You have spent years listening to me vent about boys. It is time that I return the favor. So tell me about your boy issues. I may even good you some okay advice. All though I am offended that your man has been hiding those heart throb locks underneath that old beanie. He went from boy to daddy so quick without the beanie.”

“The beanie is apart of him. And yes Jughead does have very nice hair,” Betty blushes."He isn't my man. He doesn't even know that he dated me." Betty says quietly. She feels extremely insecure about the entire situation. She is insecure about Jughead's feelings and about how people are going to judge her for the way she has handled everything.

“What’s going on with Jughead?”

“I almost told him the truth the other day.”

“Really?”

“I feel guilty all of the time. I feel guilty that he is in the hospital at the hands of my enemy. Chuck would have never gone for Jughead with a knife if it weren’t for me. He hates me more than anything.”

“The stupid civil war is why Jughead got attacked. Not you Betty.”

“No part of you thinks Chuck went for Jughead because of me?” Betty asks.

“You can’t blame yourself for that piece of shit Betty.”

“I can’t stop feeling guilty. I have had nightmares every night. I failed my math exam last week. My face is breaking out like crazy, which is making my mom even crazier than normal. I am continuously reminded that my boyfriend doesn’t remember that he loves me and I have yet to tell him that he is my boyfriend.”

“Is there a reason you haven’t told him?”

“I am so scared of his reaction. I know how selfish that sound. I’ll admit it, I’m selfish. I don’t know if I can handle his rejection.”

“How do you know he’ll reject you?” Betty opens her mouth, but then contemplates Kevin’s question.”He fell in love with you before. Why can’t he do it again?”

“This isn’t the same Jug.”

“It’s Jughead from ten months ago. Not Jughead from Mars. Not all of his memories are gone. He is the same Jughead. The same Jughead that fell in love with you the first time. Betty you can’t keep torturing yourself over the ‘what if’. As nail biting as all of this angst is, I can’t stand to see you suffering like this Betty. Don’t turn the ship around just because you’ve encountered some rough waters.”

“Did you just make that up?”

“Did that saying make any sense?”

“Ya I guess.”

“I am writing that down.” Kevin pulls up his notes on his phones of ‘Awesome quotes by Kevin Keller’.

“You two are my OTP. Don’t tell Veronica. She and Archiekins wish they could hold that honor.”

“Kevin he might be moving away with a new foster family. I could lose him forever.”

“Don’t wait until it’s too late. Hey that rhymes! I am on a roll with the quotes.” Betty laughs. She wonders why she doesn't confide in Kevin more often.

“Ya you’re right. I need to grow a pair and tell him.”

“Well what are you waiting for? Go get your man!”

“Have I ever told you how amazing you are Kevin Keller?”

“Not enough.” Betty smiles as she runs over to Pop Tate. She hands him some money.

“This is for Kevin and I plus the tip.”

“Thank you Betty.”

Betty nervously races off to Archie’s house.

Jughead walks into the Andrews household after a long bus ride home. Veronica and Archie are cuddled up on the couch watching cartoons.”Where have you been?” Archie asks. Jughead is surprised that Archie noticed his absence. He has been spending the all of his time the past couple of days with Veronica.

“Therapy.” Jughead lies. He knows Archie has no idea what his schedule is. That lie would never get past Betty. He went to therapy yesterday.

“Mom called she wants to meet with us on Friday about your foster family situation.” "Okay cool." Jughead feels uneasy knowing that there is a decision of where he is going to live. He did get stabbed while living in Riverdale. Betty's words are playing in the back of his head. "Riverdale is your home." He hears her sweet voice say.

Jughead goes into the kitchen and opens the fridge. There is leftover homemade pizza that Betty made for them the other night. She had made his favorite kind of pizza with sausage, pepperoni, ham, and bacon.

Jughead puts the pizza in the microwave. He sits on the counter. Jughead can’t ignore Chuck Clayton’s smug voice in the back of his head. Betty would never drug anyone, not even Chuck Clayton. He also never thought she would lie to him, but she has been keeping his phone. Why would she hide his phone from him? What is she hiding? How much is she hiding for him? Is she hiding things from her for not genuine reasons? For the first time in his life Jughead begins to questions Betty Cooper's intentions.

The microwave beeps and Jughead pulls the pizza out of the microwave. Jughead notices that all of the dishes are now piled up in the sink. He places the pizza onto a paper towel.

Jughead walks back out into the living room taking a bite into the pizza.

“Do you want to watch cartoons with us Jughead?” Veronica offers.

“No thanks. I think I am going to the trailer.” Archie sits up.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to be going to the Southside?” Jughead can tell Archie is anxious. Jughead appreciates people worrying, but it is starting to get annoying. He is the same person. Yes he got stabbed, but he is not a child. He lived the majority of his life doing things by himself before the incident and he has no problem continuing his loner lifestyle.

“My therapist suggested that I go to the trailer. It may bring back some memories.” Jughead decides he needs to some peace and quiet to think about how he is going to handle what he found out today.

“Hearing you say you have a therapist is so weird." Veronica says. "I don't really have a choice. It is part of my recovery. Anyway I can get my memory back I am going to do it." "Do you want us to come with you?” Archie asks.

“No that’s okay don’t want to take you away from Spongebob.” Jughead would rather not be a third wheel for a little bit.

“Be safe.”

“I will." Jughead stops remembering something Chuck had said to him earlier. "Oh and Archie, do I have a girlfriend?” Both Veronica and Archie turn to Jughead away from the tv towards Jughead at the same time.

“That’s not really my place to say.” Archie answers. Veronica kicks him.”Ow.”

“You just gave it away with your dumb answer.” Veronica thinks she is only speaking loud enough for her boyfriend to hear.

“So I do have a girlfriend?” Jughead asks confused.

“I don’t know. You are a mysterious guy Jug. You hardly tell me anything.” Jughead is unconvinced by his answer.

“I’ll catch you guys later.”

Jughead heads out and begins walking towards the Southside. Jughead scans his brain as hard as he can trying to figure out who could possibly be his girlfriend. Chuck told him to “ask his girlfriend.” When Jughead joked about having a girlfriend in the hospital, Veronica was very quick to react. But how could he have a girlfriend? He has never been interested in anyone besides Betty. There is no way that it could be Betty. He knew he would never have had the courage to tell her.

Jughead spots the familiar Sunnyside sign. His eyes are on his dad's trailer when he feels a hand on his shoulder.”Jughead.” Jughead turns around to see a girl who lives in the trailer park. Toni Topaz. She lives a few trailers over from his dad's. Jughead can't remember the last time he has spoken to Toni?

“Hi Toni.”

“It's so good to see you are out of the hospital. Everyone was so worried." She puts her hand on Jughead's cheek and he feels uncomfortable.

“I am okay now." That is far from the truth. Jughead removes Toni's hand from his check. "They say that you lost your memory." "Ya." "That's why you don't remember?" She smiles at him. "Remember what?" "Your girlfriend." Jughead looks at the girl completely shocked. Taking advantage of his shocked state, Toni connects their lips. Jughead is so shocked and confused that he does not know how react. He feels nothing as this girl kisses him. There is no way that she is his girlfriend. His instinct is telling him that is totally wrong. It takes him longer than it should to push her away. ”You are not my girlfriend and it is not okay to mess with somebody who has memory loss." "But I am your girlfriend." "No! My girlfriend would have visited me in the hospital at least once. I don’t know what kind of sick game this is, but I am not playing it,”

“Jughead I am sorry. It is just I have always liked you. You always liked that other girl and when I found out what happened to you-”

“You thought you could trick me into liking you?” Jughead rolls his eyes.”Bye Toni.”

Jughead grabs the spare key from underneath the garden gnome and opens the trailer frustrated.

Betty walks into the Andrews house. She stopped knocking after the hundredth time Fred told her that she didn’t have to knock anymore when Betty was thirteen.

Veronica and Archie are cuddled up on the couch.”Don’t you two look cozy.”

“Betty. Did you come to join us for some afternoon cartoons?” Veronica asks excitedly.

“I came to see Jughead.” Betty says firmly.

“You just missed him. He went to the trailer park.”

“Alone? You let him go alone? What the hell Archie?”

“He didn’t want us to go with him.”

“There is a civil war going on with real life casualties Archie. Jughead almost died. You let a boy with brain damage and no memory of the people who hurt him go to the Southside alone.”

“I am sorry you’re right it was stupid of me to let him go by himself. Why do you want to see him anyways?”

“I am telling him the truth.” Archie looks at Betty concerned.”Not about you Archie. Not Everything is about you. I am telling him about our relationship.”

“Betty that is huge.” Veronica says excitedly.

“I need to go now before I change my mind.”

Betty runs quickly to Jughead’s. She prepares a speech in her head on the way to the trailer park."Hey Jughead one more thing I left out about this year, we began dating. No that doesn't sound right. I'm your girlfriend. You're my boyfriend. Surprised. Ugh that sounds so bad. I love you Jughead and you love me. No that is too pushy. Hey Jughead sorry I forgot to mention this, but we have been together since the fall." She realizes she sounds like a crazy person rambling to herself on the street. She can't help it, Jughead makes her crazy sometimes.

Betty stops at the entrance to gather her final thoughts. Betty pulls Jughead’s phone out of her pocket. No more guilt and secrets about them.

Betty confidently begins walking through the trailer park when she stops in her tracks. Her nails on her left hand begin digging into her palm. Betty wishes she could dig deeper. Her entire body goes numb and she can’t believe her eyes. Standing in front of her is Jughead Jones kissing a Southside girl.

Betty’s heart shatters. Jughead’s phone falls out of Betty’s hands. She quickly reaches down to pick it up. Fresh blood pouring out of her left palm.

Betty quickly turns around and sprints out of the trailer park. She sprints as fast as she can as the tears flow down her face. She runs out her anger and frustration.

Betty stops running out of exhaustion a few blocks later. She is right next to Pop’s.

“Betty?” She sees Kevin exit the diner.”What’s wrong?”

A heartbroken Betty begins hyperventilating.

“Betty breathe. Calm down. Let’s sit down inside.” Betty shakes her hand.

“Just go Kevin I’m fine.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Kevin you can’t see me like this.” Kevin walks Betty over to a bench across the street.

“Please sit Betty.” Betty sits down.”What happened?” Kevin asks as he sits down beside her.

“I was too late.”

A/N: I began writing this chapter yesterday and half of it got deleted, so I had to start the chapter over from scratch this morning. This is a sad chapter I know. So much angst! I live for writing angst you guys! Betty was so close to telling him! I hope my lovely readers enjoy this chapter :)! Thanks again for the love and support <3!

[astoryworthoftelling]

An unexpected visit...Pt.2

A/N: Well...here is part 2! I hope you enjoy it! Forgive me, once again for the overdue post. Things have been quite crazy in my hometown. As always I am open to reviews and feedback. If you want, you can make a request or make a suggestion or comment.  Thank you!

If you have not read part 1, I will let here the link! 

Prompt: After the family is notices about the readers pregnancy, they start taking of her. Things start to go a little crazy, but there is nothing that the bat family can't  solve!

Word count: 2, 402! Yikes :) 

Warnings: None!

Word Keys:

“Y/N” = Your name

PART 1

“They took the news very well” Said your husband with excitement 

“Yeah, I am really surprised!” Yo giggled while grabbing his hand and smiled. 

“My love?” He said while stopping for a moment

“Yeah...” 

“I love you” He smiled and gave you a kiss 

“I love you more” 

It has been six months since you  announced your pregnancy to the family. At the beginning things were quite normal, until you started to receive several calls from Jason just to know if you were ok, or he “accidentally call you and asked if you needed anything”. One day Tim surprised you with a brand new house surveillance kit, because as he said the one you had was “an abomination and disgrace to technology and actual security” So yeah, he make sure that no one besides you or the family could get into your home. Dick began to drop some food with some recipes, he also baby proved all the house.

“Dick, it is not necessary” You followed him all over the house while he meticulously put in each edge a corner guard.

“Oh no, it is” he replied. Once finishing putting the guards, he continued to put some covers over the electricity contacts.

“Dick, the baby isn’t even born yet!” 

“It is better to be prepared!” Your husband said and helped dick with other outlets.

“Honey, don’t encourage him” You said with disapproval.

After three  consecutive hours of baby proofing, they finally finished and sat on the couch.

“Wow, now that think about it, it does look safer” You said with a little of sarcasm “but you know...” You shrugged a little and look around as if you were looking for something.

“What?” Said dick “Did I missed something?”

“Well...I just thought that you were going to wrap all the house with bubble wrap...” You laughed 

Dick left but said he would be back with other “stuff” whatever that meant. Days later, for your surprise, Damian and Tim came to the house.

“Hey” Damian greeted you “We came to install some entertainment for you and to drop some things...”

“Uhu...well come inside” You smiled 

“I will be at the living room installing everything”

“Ok, you know the way” You smiled and closed the door after Damian came in.

“TT” He walked around “I see Grayson came”

You giggled “Yeah, he did” 

“Well, I brought you this...” He took out some books, taking a closer look the titles read “Parenting 101″ “What to expect when you are expecting” and a couple more about how to win parenting. “I.. as you know....” He mumbled “I did not had as you would call a normal family environment, but I thought this may give you a little guidance” He softly smiled

“Thanks Damian” You hugged him, then you heard a loud noise coming from the living room, both of you went to see what was going on. You found Tim with several CD’s on the door.

“Drake, what are you doing?” Damian said

“I was just trying to connect this to the stereo and accidentally broke the shelf!”

“You are unbelievable!” Damian protested and started to pick up the cd’s

“Tim are you ok?” You said

“Yeah, yeah I will repair it, I promise”  He stood up and repair the shelf skillfully. Then started to arrange the cd’s. “We should put them in alphabetical order”

“tt” Damian denied “No, it should be in genre”

“But alphabetically you can found it easily!” Tim argued

“Drake, don’t get me started...” And so, they, as usual, started arguing.

“Quit complaining!” Said Tim

“I am not complaining, you are!” The other replied

You opted to close the door and let them solve things, hopefully without killing each other. At the end they agreed that they would arrange the cd’s in genre and alphabetically, they even made a list of the albums you had.

“Thanks guys” You smiled and gave them both a big hug “See you soon!” You closed the door and gave a sigh of relief.

“Everything ok my love?” Your husband grabbed your hand and then hugged you.

“They are killing me...” You said

“They are just trying to help” He smiled 

“Just trying to help...” You mumbled “Just trying to drive me crazy!”

The moment you were seven months pregnant, the family offered you to stay at the manor, not because they thought that your home was not safe, but because they just wanted you to to feel more "comfortable”. So the boys went to your house and helped you to pack some things.

But the comfortable part of the offer, did not came so easily. After years of not living with them, you forgot how the manor can easily become a madhouse.

“Damian! It is better if she uses pillows to rest her back!” Once again, Tim and Damian were arguing.

“TT” Damian taped his foot impatiently “Drake, that’s why we bough the special couch! BECAUSE IT IS MORE COMFORTABLE!”

“Damian I am telling you, it is better for y/n” 

“Well I think there is a better way to solve this” Damian looked at you “Y/n, would you please tell Drake which of this is more comfortable?”

“Umm...” Both looked at you hoping to agree with one of them and prove the other wrong “You know.” You stood up “I am going for a walk, I am tired of being on the bed all day” You nervously chuckle and walked out of your room.

“Great! You upset her Drake!” Damian complained 

“I did not! You did!”

You sight with a little relief.

“Hey y/n” Dick greeted “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, Damian and Tim keep arguing about what is better for me” You softly giggled and crossed your arms.

“They are arguing again about what music the baby should hear?” 

“No, now it is about what is better for my back” You laughed

“Ah, I see” He smiled “Do not worry, I’ll talk to them”

“Thanks, we both appreciate it” You softly patted your belly and saw Dick enter your room.

“GUYS WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!” You heard Dick argue

The boys did not stop their night activities. Every time they went out on patrol, one would stay, just to make sure that you were ok. Each of them would entertain you with different activities. The night that Dick stayed, he took the family albums, alfred prepared some hot chocolate for the three of you and you enjoyed an delightful night.

“Wow, who is this?” Your husband asked and showed you a photo of a boy wearing the robin suit 

“Let me see” You said and took a closer look, you giggled “It is Dick”

“What?” He quickly said and saw the picture “Oh my god! We have a photo...”

“Yeah, it was halloween” You said trying to cover the family secret “You had a Robin face, right?” 

“Uh, yeah...I just...look at those” He pointed at the lower part of the suit “I can’t believe I wear that”.

“Me neither” You laughed.

And so the nights kept going, until one day they all had to go on patrol for some Arkham revolt. For some weird reason you couldn't sleep. You went down to the kitchen where you found your husband talking to Alfred. “Hello love” he smiled “Is everything ok?” “Yeah, I think” You shrugged “I am not sure” “Would you like some tea master y/n” Alfred said “Yes, thanks Alfred” “Oh, it seems we ran out. I will get some, I will be back in a couple of minutes, if you need something, you know what to do” Alfred said and left the manor. “And then, there were two” Your husband added and smiled “How you doin’, love?” “I am...” You felt a cramp “Love?” He looked at you with concern “Whats wrong?” “I felt a cramp” You patted your belly “Maybe I just need to lay down” “Ok, lets go to the living room” He walked besides you and sat with you “Ah!” The pain started to increase “Oh boy, I think I am bout to be in labour!” “That is not something that will be solved just by laying down, I will call Alfred” He took his phone and waited for him to answer, but strangely he didn’t. “That is weird, I will call your father” “I don’t think he will answer” You said “Why? Even if he is in a meeting he might look at his phone, but he better do it now, ‘cause I am running out of battery” Suddenly all the lights went off. “Great a blackout” Your husband said “And your father is not answering” He started looking for one of your brothers phone, but his battery ran off “And my phone is no longer useful, we don’t have land phone to call anyone” You saw that he was getting anxious about the situation. “Oh boy” You get up from the couch and and look at him “I have an idea” “What are you doing, you have to lay down!” “Honey” You started while walking to the nearest shelf and from one drawer grab a lantern “I know you are worried, but our baby is on the way and I have to do something” “But what are you going to do?” “Just come with me” You softly smile and offered him your hand, he nodded and grabbed it. “So...what are we supposed to do in the main study?” He said looking around “The land line is still dead”  “Well...there is something I have not tell you” You walked to the clock and activate the batcave entrance. As you knew, the batcave had a designated power source so it would never stop functioning during a blackout.

“What is it?” Your husband looked at you with a mix of surprise and confusion.

“Well, my family has a secret...”

“Your family is Batman!!” He shouted 

“No, my father is Batman and...” You interrupted 

“All this time...” He looked the cave with all the gear, then he followed you to the Bat Computer.

“Do not touch anything, they will go nuts if they found out” You said and sat in front of the computer and grabbed a communicator “Guys? Are you there?” Nothing. “Can you hear me?” 

“Y/n?!” You hear the boys screamed at your ear and several questions about your well being were asked

“Yes, we are fine. Alfred went for some tea, but I think because of the blackout he hasn’t come back, and I am pretty sure that I am about to be in labour” You quickly said 

“WHAT?!” They said in unison

“I will be there in no time” Bruce said “Nightwing, Robin take care of the prisoners that are left, Red Robin I need you to tell me the fastest way to get to the manor and try to contact Alfred, Red Hood you will head to the hospital and warn them of the arrival of a pregnant civilian. “Y/n” He added “Stay calm, I will be there soon”

“Yeah, thanks dad” You smiled and left a sight of relief. You looked at your husband who was more shocked than you. “I am sorry I did not tell you before..” You looked down to your feet “I...”

“My love” He was down in his knees and grabbed your hands. “It’s ok. Everything is going to be ok”. 

You started crying. You were not sure if it was because the baby was on its way  or the fact that you felt a weight being lift after your husband learned the secret. Maybe it was both things. He took a chair and sat beside you, now knowing that the cramps were actually contractions that increased over the time, he did his best to keep you calm. 

The echo of screeching tires increased and finally Batman came to save the day.  Both man aid you to get in the car and rush to the hospital. During the first minutes, there was an awkward silence until the contractions got worse and you started whining. It seemed like centuries had passed, but you finally arrived, batman carried you inside the emergency room, Jason or at the moment Red Hood, was already there with nurses waiting for your arrival, they helped you to lay down in a carrier.

“Y/n, I will be back, I have to change” He smiled “You are in the best hands” 

“Thanks” You smiled and went into the labour room with your husband.  

All of them had to go to the manor and clean up. Dick went and look for alfred who was about to break the drugstore door in order to get out, but luckily the electricity came. He told Alfred that you were safe and sound in the hospital and without wasting more time, they met the family in the waiting room.

After a couple of hours of labor, the baby was finally born. Because of the insane night you had, you fall asleep almost after holding your baby and the family was impatiently waiting outside the room.

“What a night” Tim said sitting down on a chair.

“Yeah, it was quite unexpected...” Dick said.

“She is awake” Your husband came out of the room and weirdly smiled at everyone 

“TT” Damian said “What?” He looked at him. 

“No, nothing” Your husband quickly said.

“Ah, he knows” Jason said and patted your husband in the back “Well, that means you are one hundred percent officially part of the family”. 

“TT” Damian said  “You better not spill out the truth or...” He looked at him and was interrupted by dick.

“Damian, now is not the time to make threats, lets go inside and see y/n” Dick said and dragged him inside the room.

A nurse came inside and handed you your baby. 

“Hey guys” You said softly “It is a girl” You widely smiled with tears of joy.

They gathered around and saw her for the first time. She was tucked in a pink blanket, her eyes closed and sleeping peacefully.

“So...what’s her name?” Jason asked 

“Well...” Your husband started and then looked at you and smiled.

You looked at her with a bright smile.

“Her name is Robin”