#<- i say that as if im not a social sciences major and go to bed at 9

[ask-omori-ageswap]

hiiiiiii long time no see :3c

So! What happened here?

Towards the start of the hiatus - I'd sayyy around Sunny's Birthday Arc? - I was in a pretty iffy headspace, generally. I was getting burnt out with life in general TBH, which might've been pretty easy to see what with how updates slowed during that time, though I still tried to keep up and continue the story. (That was why I brought on Mod Sock, if I remember - she's such a sweetheart and offered to help <333 ily sock /p)

However! On March 28, 2023, my father died. It was sudden andddddd a LOT of my life was up-heaved due to this. He was me and my brothers' main guardian, so there was a lot going on what with who would be taking care of us, where we'd be living, etc etc. Plus, that was only, like, two months before I graduated high school? Lol. So there was also the stress of trying to do THAT as well.

That was the main cause for the hiatus. I honestly just couldn't really balance my mental state, my family situation, AND the responsibility of this comic on top of that - this is just supposed to be a fun thing for me, yknow?? So, I put it on hiatus. I... wasn't really expecting to ever take it off hiatus. I mean, after all those months? After I've gone and started college?? This blog started the summer before my junior year of high school. That's, like, a WHILE.

But then the first chapter of the official OMORI manga came out and it fucking sucked and pissed me off aghalkdhg;ksdhgalshk

That's happening now, I guess. After some light and affectionate prodding (encouragement) from friends I am... tentatively rolling back the hiatus. TENTATIVELY!!!

If it gets too stressful again I've got no problem dropping it again, but I think that now, with a bit more experience and maturity, I should be better at the whole time management and prioritization thing. We'll see how it goes, though. (BTW if there's a notable difference in how updates from here on out looks, it's because I don't use MediBang as a program anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry lol)

So... next up, I guess, is I'm gonna finish up this bit about BOSS, and then characters will be open to answer asks again!

Thank you guys for all your support, both old and continued <3 Let's see if I can't finish this story before I graduate college now LOL

[head-of-forensics]

Hello, im Stevie Corcoran, but I’d prefer if you called me Bird. Uh..what else do I say here?

((Just talk about yourself a little, who are you, where are you from, what do you like?))

Uhm, I don��t quite understand how to use this app? but my daughter suggested I create a blog. Some of the stories I have would “do wonders on tumblr” according to her.

Anyways, I’m Bird, my pronouns are he/him, I got my bachelors degree in forensic science at UW, I switched my major twice starting out (fine arts, psychology.)

I am single and unmarried, I have a 12 year old daughter. We live in a small duplex close to PPTH and we have two cats, Adam and Lawrence. My friend Gabi @plastic-surgeon-gabi also lives with us.

I don’t recommend asking me medical questions about the living? that’s not really my area. But please ask any forensics questions! I’d be happy to answer!!

I do, however, work in a hospital (PPTH) as a forensic scientist and teacher. My social circle consists of what my father would refer to as “the wrong crowd.”

I’ve got a large scar on the left side of my face and I’m blind in that eye. I messed around with fireworks a lot as a teen.

Some fun facts ?

• I’ve got adhd

• I’m very good at card games

• I also paint

I think that’s it? my daughter set this account up for me. I think it’ll mostly be work-rants.

((*a note : Anna was 12 in season 8, 4 in season 1))

((Okay me here ☺️ house oc ask blog :) my main is @1mlostnow and I’m Evan, he/they. I am a minor! Please no nsfw. CDT timezone. Interacting with others included in @ppth-staff so go check out those posts!! Bird speaks in regular text, I haven’t quite decided what mine will be yet. Probably blue text and double parentheses. I am also Gabi (previously mentioned) @plastic-surgeon-gabi ))

((description post #1, continuously edited))

((Lore Post))

((ever-growing staff list at PPTH))

((this will most likely be edited frequently as I develop this character))

[indihome-suck]

Omg pls ramble abt your school I wanna hear it

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED‼️‼️‼️‼️

Ok so kurikulum merdeka or as I like to say "kurikulum terjajah" throws alllllllll the subjects indiscriminately on you at 10th grade (resulting in like 15 or more subjects), THEN you can customize the subjects you take whatever you want depends on the college major you want to take!

11th grade is where you can finally have those "customized" subject combination. Other schools chooses to make "packets" of subjects per class. With different combinations of subjects in every class. And urges the students to pick which class they'd want to attend, according to their major or career choice.

My school on the other hand has WAY more experience with this complicated ass curriculum. Being one of the school where they tested the curriculum on (that being the year before me therefore the current 12th grade). My school made a student survey and urges the students to consults to the school counselors often.

The combination that's more than 10 students want will be accepted as a valid "major" within the school body. Students with niche combinations will be recommended to a similar major.

For example: me and my friend wanted the combo of physics, informatics, geography and advanced math (acronym FIGM) as we both are interested in civil engineering. But we're the only one who wanted that, so we got to choose which similar major to go to instead. In the end, my friend switched geography with economy (EFIM) and I switched geography with chemistry (FIKM).

Some majors are more popular than others for being basically the same as the previous curriculum two class variants. As we said it, pure science (biology, physics, chemistry and advanced math/BFKM) and pure social studies (economy, geography, sociology and German/EGJS. because my school doesn't have advanced history).

There's two more popular combos that doesn't adhere to that though. Like health major (biology, economy, chemistry and sociology/BEKS) and forestry (biology, economy, geography, sociology/BEGS).

Those 4 combo's/majors have enough students to fill a class, so each have classes of their own. Being that, they don't need to move classes between subjects.

How about the rest of the majors you ask? Well, they don't have enough students to fill a class, so they get mushed together to fill one.

I'm not kidding.

For the remaining classes, up to three different majors are situated in the same class. Therefore moving the class between subjects to accommodate all the students.

Physics major have three variants, BFIM, EFIM, and BFIK. There's more than ten students to each major, but none reach more than 15 so they're in the same class. Coincidentally (or not) their homeroom teacher is our physics teacher!

The other variant of forestry that is BGJS, the engineering major FIKM (mine!), And what my friend describe as being the "entertainment" major BEJS, are quite the predicament though. Both BGJS and FIKM reach more than 20 students, not enough to fill a classroom but still a lot. BEJS however, doesn't quite reach 20 yet, and therefore split into two between the classes.

Those last classes being moving classes results in some mixing of majors in the subjects. FIKM often meets BFIK in chemistry. EFIM and BEJS are together for economy. But there's where it ends. The physics major aren't in the physics lab at the same time as engineering, and German forestry (lol) aren't in the lab when entertainment majors are doing German.

All and all, this curriculum is waaaay more fun once you get to this phase (named phase F). 10th grade, or phase E, is only made for torture testing your toes in each subject. I'll admit, 10 graders have it way worse then 11 and 12 graders.

Studying... Wait I'll list it: biology, economy, chemistry, geography, informatics, sosiology and physics, all of the required subjects like maths, English, Indonesian, PPKN, history, arts, religious studies, home economics/prakarya and more. So like, not fun.

Holy shit that's a lot, I hope this ain't boring for you Ori🫡 good luck with school!

[why-the-heck-not]

how do you study/code everyday? Genuinely asking, like how do you maintain focus and not get distracted or stop when it gets hard? Ignore the following question if you live your major and school and all that: how do you not get sad? And if you do what do you do when that happens?

With love and admiration, a fellow computer science student who is struggling so much

Heyy and thank you for the ask!

Honestly, I get very distracted a whole lot. Like 50% of my days are procrastination bc I don’t want to do things. And I don’t study every day, but most days just bc I’m bad at taking full days off bc of The Guilt lol. Waking up early has helped me a ton, bc even if I procrastinate the morning bc don’t want to start doing things, it’ll still be early. The annoying thing to say, but it rly does feel like u have more hours in a day that way.

For stopping when it gets hard: I have this one playlist that’s like 30mins long, and everytime I wanna give up, I put that on, and it’s like a ”okay just gotta work until this playlist stops”-thing. And sometimes I do just stop after bc I’m getting nowhere, but sometimes that ”permission” to stop doing things actually makes me want to get them done. And sometimes u luck out and figure out the thing in that 30mins. (Sure a timer would work as well but I time my time with music a lot of times idk)

And yeah I get sad, bc like who doesn’t. Idk, I feel like the key is to try move on the second u can. You had ur bad days and can’t do anything abt that now, so wallowing & feeling guilty about that is not gonna do anything. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and a week or so won’t ruin things. Trying to not get stuck in it, the cycle of ”I’ve fucked this up ohno” and getting more depressed from that and then continuing to not being able to do anything is very real. At that point, u gotta remind urself that any little bit helps (if that’s either towards the school things or like washing piled up dishes; anything to move anything along helps to get urself out).

Also big thing that has helped me; no social media when it gets bad !! All that ”respect the grind” ”that girl” ”grind mindset” etc. makes it feel way more shitty. But also the mental health awarness side sometimes makes it too easy to be ”yeah so im sad, im not going to even try to do anything” (it’s fine obv when u just can’t, but when u notice 2 years have gone by bc ”i’m just having a bad day today” everyday, it’s no longer selfcare). So idk, what helps for me is to have the bad days just by myself in the bubble and at some point getting up and doing a thing. Which sometimes/usually snowballs into a couple things. And never underestimate the power of taking a good long shower. Everything seems more doable after a shower idk why. Also I think I say this in about every ask but WALKS !! Are so good !!!!! For everything !!

[elicypher]

OKAY. so you know about me going to my dream uni and major right???? the problem is. in high school, at least in my country, we are all already divided into to specific studies, science math and social studies. so if you’re studying social studies, that’s all you’ll learn for three years, no science whatsoever. the problem is, i was in social studies then i suddenly wanted to be a scientist and change studies to science math which i have zero knowledge of it…

ITS A BOLD MOVE TRUST ME I KNOW but i jst cant see myself going through social studies major and have a career in one… i wanted to be a scientist. i worked hard to get in, and im in my dream major now. that’s what i wanted.

the only problem is that i’m afraid, you know? im the only one who has zero knowledge of science and math among my peers and im just… scared. obv i have already think through of all the risk and sacrifices whilst making this major decision, im fully aware that i have to study harder and basically learn everything from literal ZERO and i don’t mind, in fact, im excited.

despite all of that, still doesnt change the fact that im scared. what if i cant do it? what if it all will end up in vain? what if all of my sacrifices turned out to be useless? :(

thank you so much for listening to my rant, al.

oh chu :(( it's okay to feel that way, your feelings are completely valid and understandable. will it make you feel better if i say i've had somewhat similar experiences? it happened to me when i first chose law as my major, so i can somewhat guess what it must be like.

i didn't change my course of study like you did, of course. which is very, very, VERY impressive and was super courageous of you by the way. being in an unfamiliar environment is scary, it's true. the nervousness or anxiety you're feeling is also absolutely normal chu, given the significant transition you're facing and all. it's a big thing.

also, i want you to understand that you haven't done anything wrong or chosen the wrong major or made the wrong decision or anything like that

it's going to be hard at first, that much is guaranteed with your background being different from the rest, but it's not your fault and i don't want you beating yourself up over that. i guarantee you as someone with similar experiences, it will get better. i once read something that said something along the lines of "not treating yourself as a failure when/if your future is delayed by circumstances that aren't in your hands" and i think it might resonate with you

your peers are there to help you, and so are your professors — the university wants you to succeed. there will be resources you can research, friends that will assist you and professors that will answer any queries you have. you're ready to put in more work and do your research, that's all that counts. you're putting in effort and you're trying, some don't even do that and im very proud of you for taking this leap. i hope you'll try and see you're as brilliant as i see you

trust yourself, you've got this. i believe in you. just take it one step at a time, make sure to take breaks so to not overwork or burn yourself out and don't hesitate to reach out for support ANY time you need it. you'll do wonderfully.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

IM ON BOARD ON THIS PROFESSOR RINKO AND GOJO AU

gojo is def a science nerd would teach something like physics or sm like that

rinko would def teach psychology

gojo and rinko would've met during undergrad. shoko, geto and gojo are highschool besties that went to the same uni but diff majors. shoko and gojo are in the more scientific field while geto is in more social scienes or humanities. then geto met nanami in business and then he met rinko. and they all became besties JSNSJSJSJDJm kinda.

🤔

Ya know what? Geto would be the philosophy major, FOR SURE.

Shoko would be a doctor, still.

Utahime would be a high school teacher, hands down.

Gojo would make sense as either physics or engineering, which is what I'm leaning toward. Physics would make sense. OR I still love the idea of him being outside the box and going with something like Philosophy just to say 'fuck you' to expectations 😂😂

[haejjoon]

BARKBARK I LOVE TRANS HCS im not trans myself but when i see how happy they make my trans friends & my partner???? TOSSES THEM AROUND LIKE CANDY u get a trans hc! u get a trans hc! WE ALL GET TRANS HCS

also may i say. adhd/autistic phantoms ? good shit

also ur mention of how trans goro is more common than trans akiren makes me wanna pop off about infantilization in fandoms and how it ties into misogyny, trans-misogyny and nsfw content and its characterizations and just fjbvkfnb. im a social sciences major and i LOVE discussing infantilization in the context of sex and gender and disability i love that shit. anyway idk where i was going with this but tldr i love ur characterization of goro <3

OHHHHH ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST STARTED.....

prefacing this by saying: i have adhd. although i haven't been able to be properly diagnosed (with the things hooked up to my head etc etc) thanks to america's stunning healthcare, i am like.. 99.999999% sure i have it. my therapist, who i used to see regularly, agrees that i probably have it.

NOW. i'm sure we all know that futaba sakura our favorite gremlin girl ever exhibits some clear symptoms of autism. i don't need to get into it because there's a million and one analyses out there about her behavior, but i will say that i both love/hate how atlus depicted her. on one hand i love that the group just.. accepts her for who she is, i love that they don't try to change her, i love that they don't fall into the "ooh you're so smart though so your disability MUST be a superpower!" trap, and that they mold around her to suit her, and not the other way around.

THAT BEING SAID.....

i have SUCH a bone to pick with how they decided to go about her 'healing' arc. the phantom thieves give her a week--a WEEK--to readjust to society. and yeah i guess that while you could argue that she's just had her trauma supernaturally lobotomized out of her, it doesn't change the fact that she's... still gone through it, you know? just because she learned to stop hating herself for things out of her control doesn't mean her social anxiety disappears in a snap. she turns out alright by the end but the extremely pushy nature of the thieves to get her out of her shell ALWAYS rubbed me wrong. taking things slow and one step at a time is wonderful, and i'm glad they decided to go about that approach instead of just throwing her to the beach like they originally wanted, but they still should have taken it... slower. one week is HARDLY enough.

also, i fucking hate how they constantly talk about her while she's in the same room as them, as if she can't hear what they're saying. they said things like, "oh she's pretty normal, huh" and "she can hold a conversation just fine!" and while their behavior isn't one completely out of the ordinary for dumb teenagers to exhibit, it still really, really pisses me off that they do it wiht her in the SAME ROOM. im sure it wasn't meant to come off this way, but i always got the feeling that they attributed her 'quirkiness' to her not understanding how groups worked at all, which is why they were so open about discussing HER MENTAL HEALTH without including her in the conversation.

okay i'm done with futaba--quick hcs im throwing out there: ryuji has adhd, yusuke also has autism, mishima has autism, goro has ocd. boom bam bop, you've been hit by the 'tism beam.

PLEASE DO POP OFF ABOUT THE INFANTILISM it's honestly such a gross sight.... the amount of times ive seen goro depicted as some small, feminine twink is genuinely staggering, and it's always left such a bad taste in my mouth because i KNOW it's because his character, at least for the majority of the plot, is polite and soft spoken.

not to mention how incredibly fetishizing it feels. i won't get too into it, but the amount of shuakeshu ive seen where one is drawn/written as larger than life/confident/suave and the other is meek/skinny/easily embarrassed? ohhh my god. please. akiren isn't some smooth jerk who makes goro blush with a well-placed quip, and goro isn't a crazed yandere who shuts akiren away from the rest of the world. they're both fucking losers who don't know how to process their feelings for the other because of their very, very embarrassing rivalry. stop degrading one to fit your perfect mlm narrative.

sigh i didn't mean for this to become a social commentary or anything, but .. lo and behold... here we are. i'd love to hear your thoughts on my takes, anon, and i'd love to hear the thoughts for anyone who read thru this too! while i do have adhd/am trans i can't speak for those who fall under the autism spectrum or for cis gay men, so if you'd like to correct me in my thinking PLEASE go ahead and do so, i'd love to be educated on topics i don't fully understand. have a good one <3

[stoozy]

i miss when the purpose of going to university was to actually learn and be intellectually stimulated. im thinking like during the edwardian era where rich aristocratic british boys would be sent by their doting mothers and stonefaced fathers to all-boys school cambridge or oxford to study platonic dialogues and rousseau, to actually gain (what i think) is a deeper insight into the world; to feed the soul with knowledge of literature and philosophy and law and science. of course this kind of education was only available to a very select minority of the population, it nonetheless served an intrinsic purpose, in a way it was more spiritually and intellectually fulfilling.

now: since the modern everyday person obviously can no longer have benefit from this same infrastructure, education is no longer something to enrich ourselves with. it is a means to an end. all of this is not to say that we should worm our way back to edwardian era universities in some kind of fetishitic, dark-academia rotted way, but rather that the way we currently think of education is in terms of monetary and social profit, not intellectual or spiritual profit.

the way I see it: STEMification of the workforce, by virtue of (and i hateee to be this bitch. fucking hate to) capitalism, has also rotted the nature of educational institutions. Humanities bachelor degrees, unless you are pursuing law school (which many lawyers or professionals ik strongly warn against this), have virtually zero well-paying job prospects unless you pursue a higher degree. We can only breed so many compsci majors before we forget the true purpose of education and academia. I dont exist as a student just so i can have an impressive Linkedin page. but it all feels so futile to study something i love, a waste of money and energy to study something deemed "useless" or something that doesn't immediatley translate into a job because it doesnt meet the demands of our society. it is just interesting to note this change in the structure of both our professional society and academic institutions and how they have both become almost synonymous with each other. No longer can we afford to go to college just to study platonic dialogues. we must also be able to find a way to survive after the fact

[werebutch]

certified major loser here‼️im 20, been in college since i was 15, should have a bachelors degree already and very much do not, we rockin w an AA and technical program. i’ve dropped out like three times 💪 im not sure what college situation you’d be in (community vs uni, state vs private) but honestly the biggest things i’ve learned from trying and failing a LOT is that… it’s all chill. everyone’s at least a little scared and confused, mistakes are part of the learning experience, not knowing smth or asking a question doesn’t result in a duolingo bird level instakill (idk if that even made sense). there’s more of a sense of community than not because we’re all pretty much in the same boat. a lot of profs are nerds about what they teach and want you to know about it very very badly bc of that (i.e., ask questions. all of them. any that pop into ur head). i wrote a paper about Lil Nas X for cultural anthropology and my prof remembered me two years later. there is an incredible amt of freedom: with most general degrees, you can take whatEVER the FUCK u want roughly whenever the fuck you want so long as it falls into natural science, math, social sciences/humanities, or phys ed. you are more than allowed to drop a class, change your major, take more or less credits than expected, graduate a term early or late, pretty much anything. go ham. like 80% of my elective credits by choice were biology classes. queer lit was a baller time and counted for english cred. i’m gonna wrap this up bc it’s so long— don’t take anything before 9am (you’ll suffer), check the credit requirements early on so u have a vague idea of what to take, ASK FOR HELP WHEN U NEED IT whether it be a prof or advising services or the damn cashier’s office, expect to walk a fucking shit ton if it’s a larger campus, CHECK RATEMYPROFESSORS, enroll as soon as classes open, do NOT shirk your language classes if you didn’t take them in highschool, for the love of god bro don’t take more than a full time course load (15 credits at most institutions). yes, you could probably do it alright, but that is the DEVIL TALKING saying you’ll be fine. sorry this so long but i’ve been doing this so long i have so much to say. if u want more specific advice just say and i’ll be back‼️—local professional loser idiot with no bitches, no money, and a toy car collection

Hi sorry I read this, was comforted, and then didn’t respond..SO SORRY.. I’m doing community but I plan to transfer after 😸 I will probably end up taking a lot of biology and hopefully I’ll get an art class in next year.. right now I only have 4 classes in total cause I tend to be a bad student and I wanna feel it out. LMAO. I’m mostly scared about doing really bad and not being able to keep up with assignments but the only one who can truly help with that is myself SO WE WILL SEE. I’ll try my best. Cause seriously I have no idea what I��ll do if I dont.. thank u for this btw I hope you’re doing well 😸♥️

[crplpunkklavier]

ok i'm not going to make this one rebloggable, i'm not looking to have a discussion or start beef with anyone, especially not on a holiday. i just grow another stomach ulcer every time people on here get psychology so, so wrong. and i need to get this out or i'll explode.

that original original post is so annoying. why are you guys out there trying to one-up and gotcha your therapists. "why do all adults need therapy then?" they dont. they dont!!!! not all adults need therapy. what the fuck are you talking about.

the next one is also annoying. implying that any kid that "seems resilient" is simply repressing trauma to resurface later is so harmful?? what are you doing. some children are resilient!! it doesn't mean they'll never have problems, or never need therapy, or that they aren't still repressing something. even if a child seems resilient, yes of course it should still receive help. but acting like there is no resilience in children is going to just make people misinterpret actual resilient children and offer the wrong help. you'll end up digging for issues where there are none. assuming that every well-adjusted child is just repressing trauma and every adult needs therapy is a pointless doom mindset that helps nobody.

that FUCKING addition. first of all, that person sure seems to reblog from a lot of terfs. secondly, id love to see their sources. because, yes! there HAVE been a lot of studies on child resilience! and yes, if children receive social support after traumatic incidents, they come out more resilient than if they dont. thats.... not all though? what are you talking about, "ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS a result of the support they receive"?? its. its not. science doesnt work with "always," first of all. no serious study is going to claim that child resilience is "always" a result of support. we cant prove "always." nobody can. secondly, that is a GROSS SIMPLIFICATION of a VERY COMPLEX phenomenon, resilience. we still dont fully understand it. we have spent decades researching it, and we still dont think weve uncovered all factors that lead to child resilience. it is in fact still baffling to science just how resilient children can be, so i also honestly dont see why people are harping on a therapist for saying kids are resilient!! a big majority of them are!! and a big majority of children in fact receive social support!! most studies indicate that social support is in fact an important factor for resilience, but never the only one. if your parents dont support you, someone else might, or if your parents do support you, you still might grow up in the worst shithole in the world, and then sometimes you might come out resilient, sometimes you wont, and we dont know why. genetics could play a role. probably in some way they do, but we dont know how big a role it is. what im saying is, resilience can be the result of support kids receive, AMONG OTHER THINGS. i also dont understand what the fuck that person thinks they mean by "true resilience." resilience that isnt just ~hidden trauma~ i guess which apparently ~all adults~ have anyway.

ok. rant almost over. shit like this just gets me, because i know a lot of you are struggling, and i dont want you to get the wrong ideas about what did or didnt happen to you. some of you may have wonderful parents and youre still struggling and you dont feel resilient, and that doesnt necessarily mean that your parents did something horribly wrong. it may mean that something in your genes isnt working in your favor, or that every environmental factor was working against you and your parents.

or, an alternative that i personally find worse because i myself have struggled with it a lot: you may have horrible parents who didnt support you and you may still feel resilient. and if someone comes along and tells you that you can only be ~truly resilient~ if you had the social support, youll start wondering..... are you misremembering? were people supporting you, and youre being a monster by painting them as bad? are you maybe not resilient at all? are you really fucked up and are going to need therapy because all adults do?

you might. you might not. answers to these things are too complex for tumblr posts, and i certainly wouldnt trust people whose blogs are 50% terf reblogs and who claim that science has "proven" anything or that things are "always" a certain way. nothing ever is.

its shabbat and rosh hashanah so im going to only do the bare minimum here but since i was talking about sources earlier, i will say that if you'd like further reading on just how complex and undecided the research on resilience has been, i would point you, for example (there are so many sources), toward masten's papers "competence and resilience in development" (2006) and "resilience in developing systems" (2007), and sameroff & rosenblum's "psychosocial constraints on the development of resilience" (2006). peace and good night.

[azullumi]

TEKA LANG ARE U FILO?? KILIG VIBES??? 😭😭😭 filo rin ako pero yeah omg kwento time 🤩 (ang haba srry in advance huhu)

so we're in the same group and our output for the final term is a like an advocacy project thing. we met in the first week of classes and when i saw him i just thought omg he's kinda cute, but in a appreciating a man's beauty kinda way hahahaha.. anw he was really REALLY nice like uhh yeah yoimiya niceness idk 😭

next week we meet again, and while talking apparently we have a lot in common?? (and it's rlly specific things like ex. we're both eldest sibling with two younger siblings, we don't use tiktok, we both do this thing where we go thru an internal thesaurus to look for the best word we need to use 😭) but what broke it for me was when he made like straight eye contact with me while we were talking... and usually, i don't make eye contact with people right, but this time i did 😭😭 and for some reason i like couldn't look away until i realized ay were.. looking at each other..... and after that happened i just couldn't concentrate anymore, but i didn't understand why yet...

and when i was leaving class, i went straight to my friend who was in another grp and i was gonna relay the info to her but then as we were leaving he was still there packing his stuff... and i said.. bye.... and i never initiate social contact like 😭 it was even an audible bye not just a wave ahhjj

anw, i told my friend abt our group discussion and i just kept repeating over and over how nice that guy was until we had to split ways for our next class... and i think i just realized like oh, i like him and i want to know him more 😭😭😭 so i messaged my friend that oh, i think i like that dude that's why i kept saying he was nice and she was like omg that's why u were so "kilig" right aft class and i didn't realize that 😭😭

TL;DR

anw, status as of rn, id love to be friends with him yes!!! next time we see each other.. im gonna try to compliment him about something... if he's actly taken or something, ill be kinda sad, but also i hope we can still be friends or something :')

(also note: we go to a uni, he's college of science, im college of liberal arts (bs-psyc) i was too shy to ask abt his major aft the eye contact incident huhuhu) - better days anon

wbwishaia KMF u're also filipino?! :00

also don't apologise if it's long bcs seriously i was rolling around the bed and grinning like an idiot BCS MY GOSH THAT'S SO CUTE EH OWHSIWHW?1!2 the things that happens to us when we're in love geez hopefully he's not taken (manifesting, praying, and crying for u) and if he's not, i say go for it and do whatevee makes you happy1! i'll be rooting for you though just like what i said, be careful with your heart and don't tread too carelessly <33

i am once again wishing you the best and luck in everything 🙏 im always here whenever u need someone to talk to or ramble about your experience bcs god gusto ko rin kiligin

[froshele]

hell yea brother (gender neutral)

listen im getting formally married real soon (together nearly a decade) and I've already seen some shit. I know what the fault lines of this thing are, i know all the little ways in which we both suck, and I know how to navigate them

sure it's not realistic to say its all sunshine and roses (we are conclusively out of the honeymoon phase and have done our time actually labouring together to the benefit of the commons; she has the entire tumblr gauntlet of conventionally diagnosed mental illnesses at once (and i am not going to lie on tumblr dot com about what it means to combine bipolar, bpd, ocd, asperger's, a somewhat tenuous relationship to the visions that falls short of schizophrenia, and adhd)

but its not meant to be, no human relationship is! you need a network your spouse is just one part of

i love my wife and even when i dont love the life we have now i know that we got each other and we can weather anything, even the racist and antisemitic antics of our current landlord

sometimes one or both of us is miserable or has some fucked up shit going on (her geometry visions and fear of middle aged women, my cycles of psychosomatic inability to do anything and weird tormentous brainworms) and that too is the human condition

its the human condition that we have different cleaning standards and chores we hate! sometimes the house is a hovel due to we are both human syndrome and this too is the human condition

but you know what, i get to watch her eyes light up every time I cook something nice (most nights)! I get to show her how to do the things she can't do! she gets to optimize things for her mandatory enrichment (computer science major) and i get to teach her about social skills and motivations (anthropology guy) and reassure her about various medical anxieties (becoming a physician so we can give our cat and ferret and future kids a good life)! i have never felt like anything i liked was cringe or bad or ugly and even my craziest most insane boundaries are respected!

she likes my hyperhidrosis!!!!

she gets to come home to hot bath and i get to be brought delicious outside food (mate feeding) (tremendously enriching)! she gets to talk to me about work and i get to tell her about work! whenever one of us starts failing the other picks up the slack! And oh my gd there's someone to hold when the nightmares and the visions come around again. and we can not always help the nightmares or the visions or their consequences (one time she took the car and ran away from home and I just sat there with my hands in my lap like well i cant call the usamurican police on my very brown wife, and she has the car, what did she want me to do here? daven i guess?) but we call on our support system to help us and hell i mean like. is this not what contentment is like? when you wake up and go to sleep safe and comfortable, and someone is always there to sit in the empty chair designated for them in your soul? and every morning coffee, and every evening tea?

this is pretty great actually i like it lots. no sign of the way marriage is Meant to Suck yet!

[1-talk-alot]

I know I know I know I said I wouldn’t rant about this topic again but be fr you didn’t know that and I didn’t care because that’s what I’m doing

Soooooo codenames yeah whatever this might be a longer rant than normal bcs im actually talking about 2 in one topics and the first one in friends! From a couple years ago

I need a few more codenames soooo

S - known her for 9 years uhhh shes really cool even though I dont see her very often anymore I also used to have a crush on her (little bit of lore you didn’t know I bet)

W - known her for 8 years shes also really cool

That’s it

OK this is a throwback to the times where everything was so different and im analysing why because I’m bored ig

S used to be one of my best friends, uhh along with H, W, and A (the only reason I gave them codenames was so I could write this sentence but they’re not in any stories or anything) and like I didn’t have any major friendship issues until the last couple years of my life and my mental health (which is not a topic I would like to cover right now) was also a lot better, like sure a lot of things were still shit but all in all I was happier yk? Then covid happened which wasn’t the biggest setback in my life but it’s definitely there and I can’t blame it all on my next point because there’s no way covid didn’t do anything to me

I think the whole being in my room 24/7, chronically online, bored and tired thing allll started there I think it as really subtle, I didn’t realise at the time, but my perspective on life, my average social battery, dare I say my patience all started to fall then (slowly but surely) I became irritable, I became used to frequent mood swings, I isolated myself for the heck of it, I didn’t go outside and I didn’t enjoy what I used to before and as if it wasn’t all slowly going downhill then, which I’m sure I would’ve gotten better if I’d had more time, uhh then I went to secondary and I was like shot down after the first month or so

If you were to ask my why I wouldn’t be able to give you an answer because my memory is so foggy (after reliving the same week 52 weeks in a row youd understand) I don’t see any specific differences, I know I stopped hanging out with A but nothing personal happened we just had different friendgroups and I think in year seven, nothing good ever happens in year seven, but nothing ever last either and I think my biggest issue was just time management and i don’t really stress over that anymore because icl about detention

In year eight however

So I had a new friendgroup right erase all the dudes from yr7, uhhh I actually really miss being i’s best friend because when I was every day was a lot more bearable but it’s okay we’re still friends, welcome L, E, and M!!!!!!!!!!! (wooooo) L and E i could easily talk about but it would be all positive so I’m not going to, Ik y’all aren’t here to watch a teenager talk about how happy she is, nobody tunes into that

Que topic 2! (It’s a continuation of topic one but onto the second stage of life aaand probably the last let’s be real)

So you might’ve noticed how I failed to include M when I said it would all be positive. That’s bcs it isn’t (plot twist) I could go on for ages but I’ve already done like 4 rants about this guy (and three of them are gone since I got T worded!) so instead I’m just gonna talk about recentl

TODAY !!!!!!!!!!!!! Today was shit honestly

Period once science uhhh idk if M thinks I’m too stupid to notice or if they think I won’t care about the way theyre suddenly treating my fp (/p)???? I know this isn’t my fight, I’m just talking over here but they’re not exactly trying to hide how dryly and reluctantly they reply? You’ve done so much shit and now you think you’re entitled to start acting like you’re the one being tired out. Kind of like a sexist boyfriend who hits his girlfriend, then when she leaves is like “well- i-I didn’t like you anyway!” To hide his fragile masculinity? Kind of like that yeah

Anyways ummm I could keep this professional but I’m better at voicing my argument if I sound like I’m just going batshit crazy speaking to that person and yelling at them so excuse me for the 2nd person, im still talking about M

One, how the fuck are you such a fucking narcissist??? You know it full well and you’re even proud of it and it makes me sick

Two, when I first became your friend I did think you were funny and that changed drastically because you’re just?? All your jokes consist of making fun of people insecurities, speaking in a cringe anime voice or using unfunny brain rot terms ‘ironically’ and sometimes it’s just so uncalled for like come on

Three, I just know that you think you’re at the “top” of this friendgroup. You think you can shittalk multiple people behind our back and we just won’t notice, you think your the only one with unspoken opinions and you don’t see past our very first trait. This was almost confirmed when you referenced L’s whole personality being hilariously stupid jokes and just ‘running around’. How blind do you even have to be??

I have multiple other things that annoy me but I can’t think of a way to put them into this rant so I’m just gonna list them now bcs i cba I just wanna get this done

• the way you obnoxiously played the full volume audio right in my ear today and didn’t it move until I did it for you

• the way you think I’m gullible enough to believe your simple lies

• the way you get so close to my face at times for like no reason like come on just don’t do that

•the way you only want to talk to me when you’re in the mood or when you need help and think I’ll just be there at your service

• the way you try to stop me from talking to E like when they were in the music rooms and I was gonna go and you kept stopping me stalling

•I know it sounds selfish but the way you’re stealing my inside jokes then being like “wdym I always did that that was my thing”

Uhhh that’s it ig? I’m not proofreading this so whatever uhhh im gonna go this way now bye

[darling-imobsessed]

Hi ok so I know you posted this (https://www.tumblr.com/darling-imobsessed/695359271096942592/hello-im-in-desperate-need-of-help) a solid bit ago (and I so desperately hope you decided to go into women/gender/sexuality studies or an adjacent field because these are such fulfilling degrees) and if you did decide to follow through you may have already figured this out but there’s literally SO much you can do with these degrees. It’s all about specializing. Im a gwss major and I have a prof I do research with who’s also a practicing psychologist, I have a friend who’s planing to go into secondary education, I’m tentatively thinking about law school. You can go into medicine, politics, public health, sociology, you can work in upper management regarding company inclusion and equity, and literally so many other things.

I’d say the biggest issue with the degree and application is narrowing down what you want to do with it because there are so many options and no clear cut paths (that’s honestly what I’m struggling with most rn). I think the narrative of gender studies and adjacent degrees being pointless dead-ends simply comes from the fact that society by and large deems them as such and refuses to listen/consider the things we have to contribute.

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for the answer! I actually ended up getting into a Social Sciences and Cultural Innovation course because there weren't many gender and women studies courses in Europe :(

Nevertheless, I am really pleased with my choice. I'm so happy to hear that you have so many different choices and even tho it might be hard, it will come to you sooner or later and you'll make the best choice for yourself! Again, thank you so much for the answer! Wish you all the best sweetie, have a nice day!💜

[studyari]

march update

it’s officially midterms time. i thought i would post an update becuase this semester has took SO much out of me. i finished my internship funded by the national science foundation in january, can’t say i made too many ties there since i hardly saw my superiors. BUT i did get to know the metrology lab pretty well and even got their machine working. going into it i did NOT imagine i could accomplish that but i felt so good getting it working! i even made a little overturn training manual and gave it over to them. 

okay so starting this semester i am in my gateway courses. so a bunch of physics courses at one time ugh plus i was taking differential and linear algebra. i got so stressed out with the workload that i had a dream where i crashed into a forest and the airbags went off lol. that same morning i dropped my lab and differential equations. it was just WAYYY too much for me. 

i’m still a full time student so it was clear i was doing too much. hmm okay so i’m in my gateway courses so mathematical physics, classical mechanics, and modern physics. i knew i was going to struggle with classical mechanics because kinematics alone was hard for me to grasp and it’s basically dynamics. i didn’t apply as an engineering major literally because i didn’t want to take dynamics LOL i struggled in statics. Of course im taking the same class just named something else and a lot harder T_T. i also wanted to get some undergrad research experience and work in an electronic materials lab but yeah i’m just tooooo busy it was a good idea though lmao.

okay but honestly mechanics is the hardest class for me, modern physics is my most interesting class, and mathematical isn’t too bad even though i suck at math because our teacher grades us mostly on completion and work shown. the hardest thing about this semester is just the schedule itself. so we have to take all three at the same time for some reason or you wouldn’t be able to register for the class ummm overkill much?! and the schedule is from 10am - 7:30 pm ughhhh. I have to take the bus there so add on a couple hours and then i have to walk to class. ohhh i miss the online/hybrid classes so much lol. by the time i’m in my last class i am literally asleep. don’t worry ive started drinking coffee.

looking on the brighter sides of things i’m being a lot more involved in campus and i’m really liking getting to know my classmates! i am so antisocial and awkward so im surprised. i’ve been going to the women in stem meetings, society of astronomy, nsbe coding workshops, ieee circuits workshops, career fairs, and boba socials just for funsies. i realize school isnt all about good grades and killing yourself for that A. i’ve even had more time to spend with my friends (it is so true what they say about making time not having it lol). almost every other weekend we see each other and have little celebrations, watch movies, have study dates, go to the park, get coffee/boba, go shopping etc. and facetiming my friends back in arizona as well! one of my club advisors told me its actually the b and c students that do better in the job market and isnt that freaking crazy! ever since then ive been reminding myself that being perfect and getting a’s isnt always worth it. i have other life to live too and people wont necessarily fault me for that.

okay as for my grades though i have been bombing every single quiz like a 50 or LESS LMAO. that’s with me studying at least a whole day before. however as of now i have passed every exam so far. so my current grades right now are 90% in modern physics, 98% mathematical physics, 100% classical mechanics (but a lot f the grades arent in yet), and a 99% in linear algebra. See and thats me not killing myself this semester so im super happy i decided to not overdo it, it really doesnt make as much as a difference as i thought lmao clearly.

looking forward to spring break! i was in therapy/behavioral health all last year trying to tackle my anxiety and i would say its been helping. its all about making a choice. i’m also in physical therapy now for the next couple of months and then once summer starts i’ll start going back to therapy again. this post might seem positive but this semester i have never felt more unmotivated or stupid. some days i feel like i cant do this and that everyone else around me is so much more capable. but i know as soon as i give into those thoughts that i’ll end up giving up and i don't want to give up. my boyfriend also has been feeling the same way. 

i also lost my wallet this week soooo all my documentation and identification is gone ugh. i had a full on breakdown but am getting that figured out. i’m going to an applications of black holes seminar tomorrow and i am super excited about that. took my linear algebra exam today too, (WHY IS THAT CLASS SO HARD BTW). i havent yet applied but theres this summer research opportunity happening at the university of toronto (dunlap institute of physics and astrophysics) and i think im going to apply! i really want to travel this year and experience something new!

[sawthatmountainburn]

Yeah, this, plus I think the brackets stuff only applies to subjects where programming is important, which is only applicable to some STEM subjects. I don't think chemists have such in-depth focus on where to put brackets, even if they might require some programming or computer know-how. But like, I don't really know, because I mostly talk to other CS majors and everyone else I know is in a creative field.

Also, IME you don't go into STEM and become the type of guy who thinks everything can be approached like a science problem, but rather if your way of thinking is more suited to a STEM interest, you're more likely to gravitate towards said interest in your academic life. And it's not necessarily the same type of thinking for different subjects! I'm a CS major and I had teachers in high school comment positively on my logic skills, encouraging me to get into programming, while in physics a lot of things just seemed arbitrary, so I didn't give it much thought and didn't receive encouragement to pursue it further unlike another student in my class who was very much into the subject and went to academic competitions for it. My point is, you notice people's interests early on in their development and only then start to see some cultivation of those interests, rather than everyone thinking the same way, but changing once they pursue a higher education or get a job.

That said, this is purely anecdotal and based on my personal experience getting into STEM + observations of others. I haven't looked up if it's backed by anything! For all I know, there's studies out there that show the most significant factor is what sort of interests your parents had vaguely in the background of your life, even if they didn't necessarily encourage you to do the same. I don't know for sure what OP is basing their assertions on, but they seem very vibes based, rather than looking into the expertise of the very people they're supposedly defending! Like, I dunno, I think linguists would have some things to say about your mother language influencing your thinking. And it's a social science, not a humanity, but developmental psychology also might have some things to say about the correlation between one's type of thinking and which subject one pursues in higher education (or in the workfield, or as a hobby, since not everyone can get higher ed). Everyone can have theie own idea about how things work, sure, but if one is going to condescendingly assert their version as true and anyone who doesn't already agree as being an ignorant rube, it behooves them to back their assertion up in some way. Especially if they're defending the value of the exact people that might back them up!

tech people drive me batty. okay you cannot tell me that you operate in an environment day in and day out where a bracket in the wrong place can fuck the whole thing up and not adopt a certain level of rigidity in the way you interpret things. like. the total lack of awareness that that is a part of your perspective is the whole thing