rainforest-zoo-dairies

[rainforest-zoo-dairies]

I didn’t write this but man......... Scary.

It's not about masks. Open your mind to the POSSIBILITY......

In 4 months, the U.S. transformed into an obedient socialist country. Government dictated what events are acceptable to attend. Violent protests that instill fear are OK but church services, family funerals and patriotic celebrations are dangerous. And you bought it without a fight.

Standing in a graduation line is a "safety hazard". Small businesses were forced to close but crowds to support the corporate money machine at WalMart, Lowes and Home Depot are OK.

Come on. It's "just a mask" & "safety precautions".

How about a little hush money. Here's $2,400 that we stole out of your pay check in the first place. Enjoy. Buy something with it. From a big corporation.

Cash is dirty. We can't give change. There's a coin shortage. Use your card. In 4 months, they convinced you to use a traceable card for everything.

In less than 4 months, government closed public schools then "restructured" education under the guise of "public safety". In less than 4 months, our government demonstrated how easily people assimilate to "guidelines" that have NO scientific premise whatsoever when you are fearful.

In less than 4 months, our government successfully instilled fear in a majority of the population in America that allows them to control every aspect of your life. Including what you eat, where you go, and who you see.

And the most dangerous and terrifying part? People are not afraid of the government who removed their freedom. They're afraid of their neighbors, family and friends.

AND THEY HATE THOSE THAT WONT COMPLY.

It's absolutely terrifying to me that so many people don't question "authority". They are willing to surrender their critical thinking skills and independence. They just... gave up without thinking. Without a fight.

Do you know what's coming next?

"It's just a vaccine. Come on. It's for the greater good".

Wait until you're told that you can't enter any store or business without proof of the Covid-19 vaccine. Wait until you can't go to public events or get on a plane without proof of receiving the vaccine.

To everyone that doesn't believe this is possible - DO YOU UNDERSTAND that government successfully dictated to people WHEN they were allowed to be outside, where they were allowed to go, and how their children would be educated in less than 4 months? And that a majority of the population followed blindly because they were told to do so.

You're kidding yourself if you think this behavior won't be repeated with a vaccine. Or whatever the next step is.

6 million Jews were exterminated in Germany because 97% of the population cowered to populist control. Nobody wanted to think about it. It's easier to just ignore it.

But that couldn't happen here, right?

[rainforest-zoo-dairies]

Hi, I’m MJ and I’m A Spiritual Ping Pong Ball

Well, I warned y’all.

From day to day, shit changes. And today is a much more positive post than yesterday.

After I pressed ‘post’, my day absolutely spiraled to shit.

We had issues with the truck, my dad was being weird, H got stuck pulling about 10 times the weight he should have. It was just a wreck.

I felt helpless because the truck needed repairs and financially, I knew it would be a ton. (Lady is a 14 year old boss hoss with 160,000 miles on her. She’s due for a pampering, I’ll admit... but now?)

H was struggling because basically everyone needed him for one thing or another... and I was struggling because I wasn’t needed for a damn thing.

I went to my parents’ house and the meltdown began.

I cried to my mama about how I was so over feeling small and unwanted. I basically reverted into childhood again and it alllllll came out. Like the badass mama bear she is, she lifted me up and told me that I just need to be patient and trust because I am a great person who deserves great things in life.

Awwww shucks, mama. You always know exactly what to say.

So, we got home and I went to my little meditation corner.... hell-bent on figuring out why now? Why all these wild, irrational thoughts?

And I cried... and cried... and cried.. and cried....

My inner child was so so so distraught... and my ego was ganging up on her... and I had given in and was joining the fight with my ego instead of standing tall with my inner child.

To go back in time a bit, my g-ma had sent me a pretty awful letter about a month ago. I’ve been working on replying to it since the day I got it.... but very half-assedly. I was putting it off because there was lots of facts and feelings I had to lay out in that letter that my inner child did not want to admit.

So, I tasked myself Monday with finally getting it done. Pressing ‘send’ and wiping my hands clean. But then my mom said that I should edit it down to be shorter and more concise..... the way it was written would cause WW3 in our family.

Well, let me start by saying that when it comes to my g-ma, I create and live in WW3 just by existing.

I am the black sheep. The ‘weirdo’ in the family. The emotional one, the ‘different’ one. I am basically the only one who doesn't jump when she says to.

So, even if I sent her a letter that said “You’re right. I’m a fuck up. I’ll be exactly how you want me to” she would still find fault in me.

Writing that letter drudged up a bunch of stuff from childhood that I had forgotten.

So, Monday I was down and out. Just sad.

Tuesday, I was starting to feel a bit angry. How could someone who supposedly ‘loved’ me damage me so bad?

By Wednesday, I was frustrated and in a true funk.

She treated me a certain way, I learned from it and treated myself that same way. Now that I see it, I want to heal it and move forward as a new person, but how?

In her eyes, I’m a real POS. Not worthy of anything. Not smart. Not talented. Not kind. Not hard working. I’m just a turd.

So, I had been treating myself like the turd she told me I was.

And in life, I was receiving the types of things that turds deserve.

Financial hardships, friends who stabbed me in the back, bosses who treated me like shit.

Damn shame it took 30 years for me to figure out that I was being treated like shit by others because I was treating myself like shit!

My inner child kept saying “I deserve this. I deserve the pain. I deserve the sadness. I deserve to be punished for being a POS.”

My ego said “Yep! You’re right, kiddo! Don’t you dare treat yourself like the true Queen that you are! Go sit in the corner and wait for the punishments to keep coming. Wait for everything to collapse. That’s what you deserve.”

During meditation, I let myself grieve. Grieve for the old way of life that is gone. Pre-pandemic life when things were ‘normal’. Grieve for the way of life I lived because my inner child felt unworthy. Grieve for the guilt I had carried and the shame I felt every single day.

Since my spiritual awakening, I have changed myself from who I was in so many ways I can’t even begin to count.

I am seriously not at all like the ‘old me’.

I think my ego misses that old me. Old me played it safe. Played life small. Stayed within bounds and didn’t let any grandiose ideas of life enter her mind.

My ego doesn't know how to handle the new me.

Positive, powerful, free, upbeat, happy, joyful and whole.

It has taken a lot of time to un-program and re-program my physical brain. It was wired for destruction, illness, sadness, depression, worry, fear and self-deprecation.

I guess I assumed that my ego and inner child had plenty of time to adjust to the new me.

But I assumed and made an ass out of me and me....

So, for the 459th day, I start anew.

Free from the chains of yesterday when I felt small and worried and frustrated.

I step into my own power and experience my freedom with true bliss.

I allow beautiful, abundant blessings to flow my way because I am not holding back anymore!

Today marks a new chapter. One I have never been in before. Because this time I am showing myself more compassion and understanding than I have before.

So.... let’s see how this chapter is. It will surely be a whole heckuva lot different than the last!

Also, as part of that new chapter, I got an interview tomorrow at a place I’ve wanted to work for a hot minute. Not exactly the huge breakthrough blessing I had been hoping for, but if I allow the blessings to trickle, maybe they’ll break the dam and I’ll experience the flood of blessings. Regardless, I am grateful for the opportunity. Things are looking up.

OH! And it’s not like anyone reads this, but I want to document it as part of my journal.

2pm ET today is the Global Mayday Meditation. Please participate if you are able to. I am going to focus on World Peace, healing and one-ness.

Can’t wait to see what this does to the Schumann Resonance!

[rainforest-zoo-dairies]

Let It Alllllll Out

I came here because I am a writer turned spiritual.

I used to write, then I found spirituality and my whole GOD DAMN world flipped upside down.

My old passions for writing are null and void now, but a life without writing isn’t worth living.

So I’m here to write and connect and share and all that good BS.

An IG account I follow said to let your frustrations out or you will continue to manifest from your frustrations.... hit me in the feels.

https://www.instagram.com/theaceofmoon/

Follow her. Seriously. She’s pretty bomb.

Every post won't be like today’s post, but I feel like this is a pretty good place to start.

My spiritual awakening has been none-other than a t-total shitshow. Everyone thinks its all rainbows and kumbaya. If you think that: fuck you. Seriously... FUCK YOU.

I’ve felt like I was going crazy, like I was losing grips with reality and felt like I was even losing myself.

According to the BS I read on most spiritual blogs, this is ‘normal’.

HA

Just ‘breathe and ask your spirit guides for help’.

DOUBLE HA

Yeah.. I don’t read spiritual blogs anymore. Them and their suggestions make me sick.

I do that stuff. I practice breathing, meditation, yoga, mindfulness etc. I take care of my body and mind. I literally live every fucking second of my life working on myself.

But... you can’t fully commit to being spiritual without also being a fucking human.

It hits at times when I least expect it. Like my higher self hollering down at me “Hey girl... betchu didn’t see this coming! Try and breathe this one off’. HAHA”

99.9% of the days, I walk around in spiritual bliss. Admiring the trees, my pets, my family, the world really.... but that 0.1% of days, don’t you dare tell me to breathe.

Like today, I’m looking for jobs. Since the writing thing didn’t pan out like I hoped it would, I need a job. I need a source of income.

I’ve been manifesting jobs and abundance for well over a year. Every tip, trick and ritual to meld abundance into my life and stay in alignment long enough for it to manifest. NADA.

My spirit guides are damn silent. My intuition yo-yos like Oprah’s weight and I can’t catch a fucking break as far as getting any type of guidance through this.

I go within to find answers. I trudge up old traumas I have to heal and wounds I have to address. Energy blocks I gotta release and past fears I have to overcome.

I am doing the GD work... but I honestly feel like I am running on the world’s biggest hamster wheel.

Same sights of same old stale traumas that I release then they resurface. I ask for help releasing them... nope.

I ask what I need to do to heal, to change, to move forward. Silence. Again, I’m not afraid to do the work and tackle this shit head on... but it’s like every step I take forward, I take 10 back.

Yeah, sure. I have more happy/joyful days than I ever did prior to my awakening. I am eternally grateful for each and every day that my inner-self is aligned and I feel like I could rock the world.

But for fuck’s sake. Really?

Today, I could hulk smash every damn thing in my office and not bat an eye.

I’m unemployed, can’t find a job, can’t find a single bit of solace financially with the way the world is working.

My mind is beating me up like a nerd in an alley. Sucker punches to the gut, breaking my glasses, stealing my pocket protector.... whole 9 yards.

I can usually get ahold of it and turn things around, but today is like someone chained me to the radiator and I’m stuck.

I have glimpses of relief that make me feel like it’s going to be okay, then my ego or my what-the-fuck-ever goes “Nope! Just kidding! Let’s think about this other horrible area of your life that you need to address RIGHT MEOW!”

So, I’m here. Frantically typing my frustrations for the world to see. Why public? I don’t have a clue. It’s not like one of y’all are gonna be like “Girl... I have the solution.”.... I know it’s something I gotta work through on my own and no one else can help.

But damn. Ya girl is drowning.

Also, please note that I’m not bitching or asking for pity. I’m just super open and I have an odd sense of humor and *obviously* a pretty bad potty mouth.

I hope that my sarcastic, silly tone is apparent enough that I am just a spiritually real person being real on a rough day.

There will be posts when you’re like “This girl is smoking some seriously awesome weed cause it sounds like a Unicorn wrote this post”. Promise. But I don’t smoke. I just live life at a high vibration. Most of the time.

But for today, I am following the one bit of spiritual guidance I can find and I am letting this frustration out.

I’m handing it up to the Gods, the Universe, my higher self, my guardian angels and even to the fucking aliens if they’ll take it.

I’ll gladly release this frustration with my current situation because this minute, stupid stuff really isn’t worth wasting brain space over.... now if only someone would get that message to my brain....

MJ out