#<- i know it’s probably not but i’m insane and i’m taking a win wherever i can

[gothsuguru]

@twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat

cold season

[sinnabarmoth]

Worthy of Devotion (5/9)

Pairing: Sea God|Rafayel x Worshipper|Reader (fem)

Summary: An encounter in the library leaves Reader and Rafayel reeling with emotions they don't know how to maneuver.

Content Warnings: Adult language.

Length: 2k

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Read on AO3

~~~

“You really need to take better care of yourself.”

“For goodness sake, Raf, it was one bad fish. You’re acting like I intentionally poisoned myself.” You were back up and moving but still taking things slow since you still needed to replenish all the fluids you lost during your unfortunate vomit festival the other day.

“You might as well have. I thought you were smart enough to know when a fish was rotten.”

“It didn’t look rotten! It didn’t taste rotten. I thought it was fine. How many times do we have to go over this?”

“I just think that you should still be resting.”

“I’ve been resting for days. If I stay in bed any long I am going to go insane. Besides, you say you want me to rest but what I think you mean is you want to use me as a pillow so you can take a nap.” You were currently in the library reordering the books. The previous system these tomes and scrolls were categorized in was baffling. Did the previous followers just stuff them wherever they could find an open slot?

Rafayel was following behind you with a stack of books in his arms. “You have proven surprisingly comfortable.”

“I think you just like that I play with your hair.”

“That as well.” he handed you another book to put on the shelf. “So what do you say? Quick half an hour nap?”

“Maybe after we finish reshelving this section.”

“Ugh.” he dropped the books and plopped himself on the ground. “All you ever do is work. Do you hate fun or something?”

“If you’re going to be dramatic can you not take it out on the books? I had those already ordered.” you sighed and started picking them back up.

“Stop working.” he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you down onto the floor with him.

“At the rate you want me to go I’ll probably have this temple rebuilt and reorganized in a couple years instead of a couple months.”

“And what’s so wrong with that? A couple years away from the noise of civilization. Just the peace and the quiet.”

“Peace and quiet? Am I supposed to get that here because there is this very whiny god that keeps coming by to disturb me.” you gave a little flick to his nose.

“And what god could this be?”

“Well he’s tall, wears a lot of jewelry, pretty lazy, doesn’t like cats--”

“Ethereally handsome?”

“Actually I was going to say he can’t win a game of Jumping Shrimp to save his life.” you smirked at his annoyed expression.

“I think maybe this god is just letting you win at Jumping Shrimp.”

“No, he’s too competitive to hand me wins. Although, with how well he plays he might as well be.”

“Hmph,” Rafayel rolled over so his back was facing you.

“And he also loves to pout.” you poked the back of his head. “Raf, come on. I was just teasing.”

He scooched along the floor to put more space between you two. You rolled your eyes and scooted after him.

“Rafayel. Look at me. Please.” you poked him again. He didn’t turn.

“If you don’t look at me I’m gonna start being formal again. So turn around.” Again he didn’t move. “Rafayel. Your Radiance. Oh God of the Seas and bringer of storms. Will you please bless your devout follower with your gaze?”

Nothing.

“You big baby, will you look at me?” you pulled on his arm to get him to turn but he went rigid and pushed back so you couldn’t move him. “Oh how very mature. I’ll get you to look at me one way or another.”

You hovered over him trying to get a look at his face. He kept turning and turning until his face was flat against the floor. You groaned. “Rafayel! You’re just doing this to piss me off now.”

“Is it working?” he muttered into the stone floor.

“Yes!”

“Good.”

“You absolute--” A torrent of blasphemy waited on your tongue to be unsheathed so you could cut this childish god down to size.

You grabbed him and shoved him with all your might until he was flopped back on his back. “Ha!” He flopped back onto his side the second you got him on his back. “Oh no you don’t!”

You grabbed him again. The two of you began rolling around on the floor as you tried to get him to look at you. You had a leg hooked over him and was trying to get him under you so he would be forced to look at you.

“Raf, can you please just--ow!” you tugged your arm free of him. “Did you bite me?”

“Maybe.”

“You want to play dirty? Fine then.” You grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Let go!” he tried to pry your hands off.

“Not until you look at me!” You tugged his head back but he rolled again, like an alligator rending its prey. “Damn it, Rafayel! We are not doing this all day!”

With a final bout of strength you flipped him to his back, grabbed his wrists, and pinned them to the floor. You sat straddled across his waist, breathing heavily. Finally! You had him! You looked at his face but he had his eyes shut tight. You dropped your head. “Do you think you’re funny?”

“I don’t know. According to my “most devout follower” I’m a big lazy baby that can’t win a simple game of Jumping Shrimp. She said nothing about being funny.”

“It is a wonder that you are considered a god.” you muttered. “But fine, you win. Don’t look at me. Never look at me again. Who am I to deserve his fishy-ness’s holy gaze. That just means you don’t get to see me give you your apology. I was going to say I was sorry but since you won’t even look at me I don’t see the point. Oh well. I guess we are to be strangers from now on.” You let go of him.

It was then he decided to open his eyes. You turned your gaze away. Rafayel sighed.

“Hey,” he said. “Look at me.”

“No. If I am unworthy to be looked upon by you then I am surely not worthy to look upon you either.”

“Yet sitting on me doesn’t seem to be an issue.” he tried turning your face to him but you squeezed your eyes shut like he had.

You felt him shift as he sat up. You tried to move off his lap but his arms circled around you, keeping you in place. His hands had decided to settle on your hips. They burned through the thin material of your clothes as if you wore none at all. “Clownfish, look at me.” he crooned.

“No.” You weren’t looking at him for an entirely new reason now.

“My little human,” he said, his voice a gentle whisper. “I’d like it very much if you would open your eyes now.”

You shook your head. You prayed that he couldn’t hear how hard your heart was beating.

He grabbed your hand and crossed it over your chest to cover your heart. “I can’t hear a thing. I promise.”

Damn it! Stop praying!

“I’m sorry for angering you and for making you uncomfortable…and for biting.” You could hear a hint of humor in his voice. “That’s not the type of god you deserve.” You felt a gentle brush of his lips against your cheek.

You forced your eyes back open and found his intense gaze settled on you. “It’s alright…” you mumbled, “I’m sorry for teasing you and wrestling you and pulling your hair. You deserve a better follower than that.” He seemed to be waiting for something.

Your hands were still resting over your racing heart. You leaned forward, your eyes traitorously drifting to his lips for just a moment. When your gaze flicked back to his that blazing fire was back in his eyes. Your breath caught.

“Cor meum…” he murmured, his face so close you could feel his breath brush against your lips.

You turned your head and kissed his cheek before leaping off his lap and grabbing a random armful of scrolls off a nearby table. “I need to go shelve these before I lose the afternoon light!” you shouted over your shoulder and fled. Fled like a coward.

~~~

Rafayel was stuck to the floor, helplessly staring in the direction you ran away.

By the tides…what was he doing?

He touched a hand to his lips. The feel of your skin against them was burned into his memory now. So was the way your legs felt straddled across him. The way your hand gripped his hair, even if it did hurt. Then to feel your own lips press to his face…

He had thought for a moment that you had a different target in mind when he saw you leaning in. He didn’t miss the way your eyes flicked to his mouth. Had he been too eager? Had you seen something that frightened you? Maybe all of it frightened you. Maybe whatever this was becoming, these feelings that grew every day between you, they were all too much.

You hadn’t asked for any of this when you decided to leave the mainland. You hadn’t expected to actually meet him or to be stuck on this island for weeks. Closer to months now. He certainly hadn’t expected to keep returning. He could have sent a number of emissaries from Lemuria to deliver you food and clothes and other needed supplies. He didn’t need to stop by almost every day to see you, talk to you, play with you. He shouldn’t have been. There were duties in Lemuria he was shirking every time he came here.

Yet the days he stayed away were the loneliest yet. All he wanted was to return to the temple and find you. To be greeted by your smile and your cheerful voice. To lay next to you, his head in your lap as your hands ran through his hair, expelling all the worries that came with running a kingdom.

When you said that he was keeping you from working, that at the rate he kept you at you wouldn’t be done repairing the temple for years. He wanted it. He wanted to keep you here. The thought that in a short couple months you could just be gone, this temple empty once again, haunted by your presence…

Cor meum.

It had just slipped out. You were so warm in his hands, smelled so sweet, and he just wanted to keep you there forever. Cor meum. My heart.

[batsplat]

was reading through one of your old posts, as one does, and this part really jumped out at me:

“[the uncertainty] was stripped away even further, if possible, by how marc approached the valencia race and his decision that he wasn't going to risk anything - not when it could help valentino.”

because i usually agree with your scholarship™️ but i feel like you’re being very generous with marc here. i saw he said this in mm: all in too and like maybe i’m just against taking riders at face value but i highly doubt he defended from dani and sat behind jorge the whole race because trying a move would have been “risky” and he had no motivation to risk anything. and even if it were, since when has marc marquez ever shied away from a risky move? he wanted to cost vale his 10th, and he did, and i feel like blaming it on his supposed new-found risk avoidance instincts or whatever kinda cheapens the whole narrative? and is a little unfair towards what vale lost as well as marc’s own motivations for why he did what he did. like idk i could always be wrong but it just feels so deliberate to me (especially after sepang where you would feel he took his frustrations out anyway by sticking to vale the whole race + vale was harshly penalised going into valencia) that like even if it wasn’t a “risky” move he just wouldn’t have gone for it, because he wasn’t concerned with winning the race at all he just wanted to ruin vale’s day

icl I have zero clue what post this is from. I also operate on a strict one month warranty on a rolling basis for my opinions where I stand by nothing I said over a month ago. so who knows whether I was saying something sensible or not

but well. that being said. to engage with the points in your ask - I do generally agree with the idea that marc by that point probably was pretty happy to lose valentino the title... but I do think *that specific situation* was more complicated than that. like, yes, marc does tend to put on moves wherever possible - but he's also in a situation where his every move is being scrutinised more than it ever had before and it would've had insane repercussions if he'd taken out jorge. and he WAS riding close to jorge throughout the race, which did put jorge under more pressure than he would otherwise have been... ideally if you're helping someone out, you'd really back off more than that. obviously marc did also have to fend off dani behind him so that did mean he couldn't massively drop the pace, so I guess that one's also up to interpretation. the other big factor... it's worth pointing out. I think we're still a fair way off from the time at which it will be acceptable to mock the valencia track again, so let me just politely comment that it is not the easiest track to overtake at. you can do it if you have a sizeable speed advantage like valentino did over the field (plus obviously he also has his race craft going for him), but there's really not much in the way of convenient overtaking spots if you're as close in pace as marc and Jorge were. so if you've got a genuine lack of opportunities due to the scarcity of feasible overtaking spots... and that chimes with saying that marc was NOT prepared to make any move that had a significant chance of crashing out himself or Jorge and benefiting valentino. there just weren't many high margin moves available!!

anyway that's the practical argument. marc DID learn some lessons from 2015, he was considerably less idiotic in 2016, and while that part of him never left his competitive dna entirely... he did at least somewhat see sense. marc does sometimes shy away from risky moves, he's won some titles through consistency as much as he has pure pace - 2016 involved a lot of settling for favourable positions rather than pushing for the victory to seal that title. tbh you've even seen it this year, like obviously he's still been trying to win in the last few rounds but it's also quite clear the 'ooh boy knocking out one of the title contenders (especially the italian who will be my teammate next year) would be a Bad Look' part of his brain HAS been more or less functional. a big reason why marc passed valentino a bunch of time at sepang and marc did not pass jorge at valencia was.... well, watch the first few laps of the sepang 2024 race and then compare and contrast with basically any premier class race we've had in valencia. sometimes things like this are just dictated by the literal sport! sometimes it's not all psychology and character deep dives and narrative arcs, sometimes it's just track characteristics or chance. a lot of valencia races have involved at least some rain - and if it had rained in valencia that year, there's a pretty solid chance we'd be having very different conversations about the 2015 season. sometimes that's just how these things go... kinda mundane things can arguably cheapen the narrative while still being true

all that being said, sure, I think marc was opposed to valentino winning the title by that point, if he wasn't already anyway! I mean marc saying he wasn't willing to risk anything in that race after what valentino had done (as he did in Marc Marquez: All In TM) is quite frankly already beyond what I personally would have admitted in his shoes. tacitly (barely) it is already an admission that what had happened between him and valentino affected how he approached that race. which, no shit, but obviously that is already different to what he said *at the time*. I think ideally he would have liked to sit behind jorge for most of the race and then passed him late on, winning the race himself but also not benefiting valentino (who would've needed dani to overtake too). in the end, marc ended up getting distracted by a fight with dani late in the race, which is another factor to consider... so yeah, in the abstract sense, of course marc didn't want to help out valentino by that point in the season. but in reality, the more... practical elements of the do does also play a major role. maybe if sepang hadn't happened, marc would have made some big lunging move at jorge. it's very possible!! but he also might have not. the race might have played out in the exact same way, minus valentino starting from the shadow realm. it's the boring answer, but sometimes things are boring

[anarchyrpbook]

FALLOUT (TV SERIES, 2024): Episode Seven Feel free to edit the sentences, places, pronouns, etc, as you need. NSFW TW: Mentions of violence

“Thank you, darling.”

“Well, hell, I probably still got some of your lead in me somewhere.”

“But today, I’m just looking for information.”

“I’ll tell you anything, as long as you leave us in peace.”

“We haven’t heard from him since.”

“There’s always some new little faction, ain’t there?”

“Brand-new team of believers with their own dumbass ideas about how they gonna save the world.”

“What did you do? What is that envelope?”

“But my problem is, by the time I got this letter off your [relation], it was a little bit hard to read.” *holds up bloodied letter with a hole in it.* 

“For some reason, I just can’t make out their location. Now, you give me that location, and I’ll be on my way.”

“I didn’t want to spend my life digging through dirt, I want to build something, and we have the chance -”

“Tell him what he wants to know! Or else he’ll kill us all!”

“Now, please, leave us.”

“What is it about [location], that we all came to this place?”

“But it is just a dream, it’s not real.”

“This is about all the horseshit I can take.”

“I have my principles, [name], that’s all.”

“How do you know them?”

“My research company was acquired by her division.”

“Hypocrisy is like violence in your movies; if you only let bad guys use it, the bad guys win.”

“A good bad guy doesn’t see themselves as the bad guy.”

“It’s a listening device.”

“You want me to spy on them?”

“Good luck with that revolution.”

“I’m not a [foul description/title]. That’s just a dirty word they use to describe people who aren’t insane.”

“We let you into our home. Tended to your wounds, gave you food and water.”

“You’re experimenting on them… It’s sick.”

“What is this?”

“At this point, it would be irrational of me not to acknowledge that these may be my last words.”

“Sorry, I uh, haven’t seen that footage in a long time.”

“I had no idea the original [vault dwellers] here were so… so weird.”

“Your ignorance cannot excuse your cruelty.”

“You have infected our home with violence and now you must pay the price.”

“Are you done?”

“I’m gunna fucking die.”

“If you were a person, you wouldn’t have any friends, you realize that?”

“Okay, I got to reevaluate here.”

“Oh, you want this too, huh? Everybody wants this. Guess what? It’s mine.”

“You think everything’s for you. It’s pretty selfish, actually, you know that?”

“You’re a loose cannon, all right? This is a very important mission, and I can’t have you jeopardizing it.” 

“You can breathe in there, right?”

“It doesn’t matter where you come from or what you believe, you deserve safety… Unless you threaten that peace.”

“It’s almost there.”

“Need to get that sharpened, please.”

“You’re just… Letting me go?”

“That’s, uh, very nice of you guys.”

“I know that I’m not really in the position to be asking favors…”

“I can help people with this. You, for example, I want to help you.”

“I was supposed to marry a stranger, from another [vault]. It didn’t turn out so good.”

“I don’t have the best luck when it comes to strangers.”

“But, [name], I can honestly say, you’re the best stranger I’ve ever met.”

“There’s something I should tell you.”

“He was threatening me, so instead of helping him, I watched him die.”

“So all that stuff you were saying, you know, uhm, about me being a good person…”

“I just threw acid in an innocent man’s face.”

“Do you want to come live with me in my [vault]?”

“Don’t kill me, I’m a doctor, I can help you!”

“Before we start, there’s the small matter of my fee.”

“Remember, wherever you end up, that’s where you belong.”

“Ugh, more death, I wish it would end.”

“What did I tell you, [name], words have meaning.”

“So, you’re just gonna forget about everything we’ve seen?”

“I feel like this is a good moment for a fresh start.”

“You’re a coward, you know that, [name]?”

“We all are, that’s why we live in a [vault].”

“I’ve got three hot cocoas on deck, two marshmallow, one plain.”

“I’m sorry, [name], but you ain’t them.”

“Yeah, uh, my ride should be getting here any minute.”

“People just, uh, can’t be nice.”

“God, I suck without a scope.”

“Why am I not dead?”

“Well, I’m not just gonna leave it there.”

“[Name], I think you might be a ghoul.”

“They’ll kill me if they find out.”

“They’re never going to stop looking for it.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“And now we say goodbye to all those that are leaving us for [Vault 32].”

“Uh, excuse me, I don’t live there. I, uh, live here.”

“Sorry, sorry, that was weird. Sorry.”

“Are you compromised?”

“Mission not going as planned.”

[mercy-burning]

Fake Fiancée - Part 2

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader becomes rather possessive over Spencer when she learns he’s been been with someone else since they hooked up four months ago. Category: SMUT (18+) Content Warnings: Language, mutual masturbation, oral sex (male and female receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, hand-on-neck (no choking), praise, degradation kink, possession kink, dirty talk Word Count: 7.1k (I didn’t mean for it to get this long I swear aldjfsdlfksk)

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 

MASTERLIST

NOTE: HERE IT IS!!! 🥰 Thank you all for showing so much love to Part 1, I seriously wasn’t expecting all the requests for more of the story, so it was fun coming up with ideas! I’m still not sure if I want to do 3 or 4 parts yet, but I’ll let you know soon! In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy reading this second installment! ❤

***

He's been a ghost in my head for four months.

Everywhere I went I could hear his voice, hear the way he whimpered out my name and how cries got higher and higher as I clenched around him. I felt the rough grip he held on my hips as I rode him, the pads of his fingertips leaving behind faint bruises that I currently wished I still had.

And more prominently, I saw his face. It was always in the back of my mind, burning into me with lust-drunk eyes and a pouty mouth in the shape of an O. It sizzled into my brain, the sound definitely sounding more like raindrops than fire, but I was more than okay with that.

Though, every time it rained, I couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same— if he stood outside or watched from the safety of wherever he was and replayed that moment over and over again until he was aching to be in my presence once more.

I also had to wonder if he knew about the ring I'd left in his front seat.

Did he leave it in his car, perhaps in the glovebox or on a string that he tied around his mirror? Or did it fall somewhere between the seats? Maybe he found it and did what I never could, pawning it off for some happily-accepted cash while he laughed at how careless I was to take a stranger's virginity and then leave my expensive diamond ring behind like a fool.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the means to find out.

It's not like I could have wandered up to the FBI building and ask to meet with a Dr. Spencer Reid... Right? Because that as absurd. I'd only met the guy once, and he'd probably think I was crazy for trying to track him down.

It was a whole ordeal that I'd mulled over again and again, and I ultimately decided that it was ridiculous.

If anything I was happy to be rid of the ring. I could move on with my life, and maybe Spencer sold it for money or he's held on to it as a souvenir for a special night.

Win-win.

It didn't dull the small ache I felt for him, though. Every once in a while I found myself remembering how great that night was... I hadn't felt that way—sexy, confident, fun—in a long time, and as much as it sucked that he was getting picked on by some drunk idiots at a bar, I was glad it led me to him.

Some nights, when I was missing him significantly more than usual, I even went back to Waterson's in the event that I'd run into him again, hopefully under better circumstances.

Tonight was one of those nights.

This time I didn't have a ring to keep most of the men from hitting on me, but now that I was well and truly over my ex-husband, I was glad I didn't use that as an excuse to keep the ring around anymore. As annoying and painful as the drunken flirting was, I was way better equipped to handle it and truthfully somewhat relieved that I could get back to normal.

You know, save for the fact that I was only at Waterson's in the first place to maybe see some guy I hooked up with four months ago and still haven't stopped thinking about...

Because that was totally a normal thing to do.

I was on my second beer of the night when I felt a presence behind me. And even though I was pretty sure than I'd be able to tell if it was really Spencer, a part of me still buzzed thinking of the prospect of seeing him here again.

I turned around though, and was met with an entirely different person. I tried not to look disappointed, but it must have shown because the man who'd caught my attention gave a small laugh.

"I'm sorry, are you expecting someone?"

I liked to think that I had a good read on most people, especially when it came to men in bars. This man was someone I looked at for a few seconds and immediately knew that he wasn't looking to make me uncomfortable. He had come over to flirt with me, no doubt, but the difference here was that where most men would have gone straight into it, this man genuinely looked like he was willing to haul ass if I really was waiting for someone and didn't want his company.

That alone made me willing to entertain him a little, even if I was disappointed that he wasn't who I desperately wanted him to be. But it certainly helped that he was attractive.

The first word that came to mind was smooth. Even as I laughed back at the man and answered him, my eyes did some wandering of his figure and admired what I saw. A crisp, tight grey tee shirt that hugged some rather nice muscles, and brown skin that was just a few shades lighter than his eyes, which were kind and a little playful. His smile was stunning, sharing that same playfulness that his eyes held as he practically sparkled to life at my answer.

"Oh, no, I'm not... But I certainly wasn't expecting you..."

I made sure to smile at him, a little smirk that complimented the admiring eyes I was offering him and a little laugh that never failed to get me what I wanted.

He gently leaned into the bar, one of his hands coming to rest of the cool wooden surface. "I'm Derek."

"Y/N."

"Pretty name."

I don't know what made me so bold, but I nodded and shot him a wink. "Not as pretty as you."

We shared another laugh, and then I took a swig of my beer, finishing the last of it and then sliding towards him. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"We just met and you're already stealing from me... That's my line."

"What can I say, I'm quick... Hey, Carla! Can I get two more for me and my friend here?"

The bartender—and my longtime friend—laughed a little, taking my empty bottle. "Sure thing."

The look she gave me right before turning away practically yelled, I thought your type was helpless skinny white guys who can barely look you in the eye without creaming themselves...

Yeah, well, you worked with what you were given. And besides, my type was practically anyone with just a shred of decency.

Real high bar, huh?

But after Patrick, I couldn't complain. Derek seemed like the type of guy who would flirt with you at any given chance, but respected your boundaries all the same. Unfortunately that was hard to find nowadays, especially in bars like Waterson's.

So, yeah, he wasn't the man I was naively wishing to see here tonight, but he was into me, he was decent from what I could tell, and he was hot.

So we had a drink and spent a good twenty minutes chatting it up. Since it was my third beer of the night, I was accumulating a pretty steady buzz, and the longer I talked with Derek the more I opened up a little. I found myself leaning into him and finding excuses to lightly touch his arm, but I kept noticing that he was glancing down at his watch occasionally.

"Are you expecting someone?" I asked, playfully.

"Right, uh... Yeah, I was supposed to be meeting a friend here. He's usually early, but I think we got our times mixed up again..."

"Again, huh? You two aren't very good coordinators?"

Derek laughed, the sound making me feel all warm. "Well, for FBI agents you'd think we'd be better at it."

"O—Oh," I said, my heart stopping for a beat. Had I heard that right? Was I more tipsy than I thought? "FBI?"

"You seem stunned," he said with another laugh. "What, you're not a criminal, are you? Do I have to take you in?"

I laughed, albeit nervously, but decided that this all had to be pure coincidence. If I didn't, I would have gone insane. Even still, it was difficult for me to sit here and openly flirt with this man when I knew he just confessed to having the same profession as the literal man of my dreams— and as of late that also included daydreams.

In fact, I was positive that's what it was when I saw Spencer approach us— a daydream.

Derek was calling my name, I knew that much, but I couldn't do anything but look over his shoulder where Spencer's ghost practically froze in place when he spotted me.

"Y/N?"

That wasn't Derek's voice. Spencer's mouth moved in time with the calling of my name, and it even sounded like him. I blinked rapidly, hoping that I could snap out of it and excuse myself for the rest of the night, so I could go home and sleep it off.

But even when I finished blinking, expecting Spencer's figure to be gone, he was still there.

At this point Derek had turned around, and what he said next snapped me out of it pretty damn good.

"Reid? You know her?"

"You're real," I said, speaking for the first time in a while. My throat felt dry, and my heart came alive at the sight of him.

Spencer stared at me, his eyes softening after I spoke to him. I saw his lips twitch into a shy smile before his hand came up in an equally shy wave. "Y—Yeah, I'm real." What followed was a huffed laugh that cemented his nervousness at seeing me again for the first time in four months, and it was the most refreshing thing I'd heard in a while.

"Oh my God," I said, a smile of my own starting to creep up.

I'd completely forgotten about Derek being there until he spoke up, snapping us out of our reunion, his voice conveying every range of confusion.

"What the hell is this?"

***

I knew there was always a minor chance that I'd run into her again, but it still rendered me utterly still and practically useless when I spotted her across the bar with Derek.

She was just... there. After months of debating whether or not I should send her a letter with the ring mailed back or stopping by to see her, or even using Garcia's help to find where she might have been so I could 'surprise' running into her... It happened to chance that I didn't need any of that at all. Because she was really there.

And she was flirting with Derek.

I'd have been lying if I said that didn't really bother me, but truthfully I'd always felt a bit insecure around him, mostly when it came to being surrounded by women who were most likely fawning over him instead of me.

Not that I particularly wanted or even needed them to fawn over me in the first place... It was just... Telling.

And it's not like I knew or thought I wasn't at least somewhat attractive. But seeing the one and only woman who'd ever made me feel very good about all of that for probably the first time in my whole life openly flirting with my best friend? It stung. It felt like now that she'd seen me and him in the same place, she'd decide that she'd made a mistake before and that she'd be better off with someone else— someone who was stronger and more skilled and probably easier to look at.

Even when the three of us sat at a booth and Y/N decided to sit next to me, her proximity dizzying after all this time apart, the first thought that came to my mind was, She doesn't want to see me. She'd much rather sit across from Derek so she can look at him instead.

I was starting to think maybe I should have stuck to mailing her a letter...

"So... Are you gonna tell me how you two know each other?" Derek asked, leaning back and easily amused.

Y/N seemed to be amused by all of this, too, because she answered immediately, a tone in her voice that I'd only dreamed about for four months and nine days straight.

"Oh, we were engaged."

If I didn't know any better, I would have thought Derek's eyebrows were going to fly straight off his head. "Engaged? Like... Engaged?"

"I—It's not what you think," I jumped in, suddenly a little embarrassed. "Not really engaged, but... Y/N pretended to be my fiancée once... There were, um... There were these guys who wouldn't leave me alone and she came over and told them off."

I hoped he wouldn't piece it together, but it was inevitable, and the look of realization that crossed his features made me feel extra warm with embarrassment.

"Oh... Is she the reason why you actually said yes to that date last month?"

Y/N turned to me, an eyebrow raised. "A date? Because of me? I don't... I don't follow..."

I was going to explain, but Derek beat me to it.

"I've always tried to set Pretty Boy here up for a date, but he's always said no, and then out of the blue I ask him and he agrees. Which was a shock in its own. I knew something was up, something had to have given him the confidence to go on the date... And all along its been you, hasn't it?"

"Well, I... I don't know, I guess so?"

They both looked at me then, and I stared down at my hands, unwilling to look either of them in the eye. "Y—Yeah... I don't know, I guess Y/N just... helped me see something in myself I hadn't seen before."

I half expected them to think it was silly, but Y/N's hand dropped down onto my knee and I stared at it for a moment before flitting my eyes up to meet her gaze. It was soft, and a small smile grazed her pretty features.

"Oh, Spencer, I'm so glad I could do that for you... How was the date?"

"O—Oh, it... It was fine. Not... I'm not seeing her anymore, but it wasn't bad... Just, um... There wasn't much of a connection, that's all."

In simpler words, She wasn't you.

But I couldn't tell her that, not when she was staring at me again with those sparkling eyes and her hand burning a hole through my pants with her electrifying touch, and most certainly not with Derek sitting right in front of us.

"Hey, whether it worked out or not, whatever you did to get him out there, it must have been one hell of a job," he said as if he'd been reading my thoughts.

Y/N gave me a knowing look, though, and suddenly I was transported to my car, feeling her hand explore my body as she showered me with filthy words and names that set me alight and cemented something about myself that I'd never known. Since then I had dreams about her, telling me how much of a 'good little whore' I was for her, and I always woke up from those dreams clutching her ring around my finger.

"Well, like I said, I'm glad I could help. Your boy here is one in a million."

It was awkward. This was all very extremely awkward. And even though I knew that, I still couldn't bring myself to stop it. I couldn't bring myself to stop staring at Y/N, soaking her all up like she was going to leave again at any given second. I couldn't stop thinking about her, our predicament, what we did and what I discovered about myself back then...

God, I was talking like we hadn't seen each other in years. It was only four months and yet I was acting like she'd left me alone after years of being together. This was ridiculous, right?

Thankfully Derek's phone rang, snapping us all out of the bubble of silence we'd been in for what seemed like forever.

"Uh, I'm gonna... get this. Be back in a few."

I expected Y/N to drop whatever act it was she had going on with me after he left the table, but her hand remained firmly on my knee. And then she moved a little closer, turning to me completely and tilting her head with a smile that only meant mischief.

"So... Looks like we have some catching up to do..."

***

I was practically giddy when Derek excused himself for a "Garcia Emergency". Though, I was concerned until he assured us that it wasn't anything bad, and by the look on his face as he quickly talked things over With Spencer, I got the feeling he was expecting his friend to 'have some fun' tonight. And that's what truly made me giddy.

We sat close to each other again, a few drinks between us and only a few booths away from the one we sat in the first time we met. If it weren't for the rock missing from my finger, I would have been convinced we'd actually transported back to that exact moment.

"You getting Deja vu, Doctor?" I asked with a smile, watching as he swallowed.

"Y—Yeah, kinda. It's great seeing you again, I... I really didn't think I would."

I laughed. "You know where I live, and you're an FBI agent... I'm pretty sure you could have saw me again if you wanted to."

"Well... Yeah, but I didn't want to be creepy or anything..."

"Trust me... If you randomly showed up at my door, I'd be anything but creeped out. I missed you..."

Spencer looked up at me for a moment, his eyes shifting before he seemed to relax. "You... did?"

"Of course... I haven't stopped thinking about you since we met. And I hope that's not creepy," I added in a laugh.

"No, not at all," he reassured with a nervous laugh of his own. "Actually, um... I've been thinking about you a lot, too..."

"Even on your date?"

I'd only meant it as a little joke, maybe another conversation starter, but at the mention he seemed... embarrassed.

"Oh, no, that was... That wasn't really... I—I only really did it to get Derek off my back, it—"

I rested a hand on his arm and smiled gently. "Hey, it's alright... I didn't really mean anything by that, I'm just... I meant it before, I'm really glad you did it. I know you said it didn't really work out, but did you have some fun at least?"

He laughed again, but this time there was hardly any humor in it. "Well, she wasn't you..."

I smiled a bit, but immediately following his words was a wide-eyed terror and instant regret. "Oh, I didn't... I'm sorry, I—"

"So, you did think about me on your date, huh?"

He froze then, presumably at the low, seductive drawl I blanketed over my words. His mouth slightly hung open, tongue flittering behind teeth as he tried to find the right words.

I smiled at him, and then he settled on, "Yeah. I did."

"It's not very polite to think of other girls while you're on a date, you know..." I made sure to let him know I was only teasing, and that I just wanted to know what his reaction would be.

Still, he surprised me when he said, "It's not my fault you're impossible to forget..."

He flashed me a smile then, and my stomach twisted deliciously at the little dash of confidence he'd grown in the past minute.

Maybe I could bring more out of him...

"Okay, fair... But it is your fault that you didn't come find me."

"Also fair... But... You're here now..."

Spencer inched closer to me, and I smiled, taking my bottom lip gently between my teeth before leaning in, too. "How about that..."

Our lips brushed for a second, so gentle it was like being tickled by a feather, and then he spoke again, his breath hot on my mouth. "I've... dreamt about seeing you again for so long now... Kissing you..."

"Me, too," I responded, bringing a hand down to graze the inside of his thigh. "Guess it's a good thing I'm a firm believer that dreams come true."

"Yeah," is all he said before he finally took the initiative to finally kiss me.

I sighed, melting into his touch and tightening the grip I had on his leg. Meanwhile his hands rested at my forearms, fingers dancing experimentally over my skin and making me tingle in their wake. And once I parted my lips, he took his shot and gently brought his tongue out to meet mine in a collision that quite frankly made me throb.

He'd been a decent kisser before, but... It's obvious he's had a little practice since then. Not that I'd have minded either way, but damn if this newfound experience didn't give me the most sinful idea.

I felt him whine as I pulled away, and that made everything even better.

"You wanna get out of here?" I said in the cheesiest way possible. But he didn't seem to mind.

In fact, he nodded rapidly and took a quick drink of his beer before following me out of the booth and towards the door.

***

Leading Spencer up and through the doorway of my house was probably the most electrifying 'date' experience I've had... well, ever. I'd been excited to sleep with people, sure, but with Spencer I found something greater. I wasn't entirely sure what that was, yet, but it was definitely good.

He reiterated that thought nicely once the door was closed and his hands were on my face, bringing my mouth to his again while I dropped by keys and haphazardly threw my phone and wallet on the side-table next to us in favor of gripping his shirt.

Just through his kisses I could tell how much he'd longed for this moment. I know he told me, and I'd certainly understood the feeling, but when it came down to actually acting it out in the flesh, I was much more in favor of that method of communication.

I gladly accepted his wordless confessions, through every groan and gentle graze of his tongue that he offered to me. And in return I gave him sharp tugs of his shirt and hair, conveying my urgency and the need to be closer to him.

When my legs started moving, his did, too, and we reluctantly pulled apart in favor of not tripping up the hard wooden staircase on the way to my bedroom. Though, I was thankful he was in just as much of a rush as I was, because otherwise I probably would have gotten embarrassed.

And that didn't happen easily.

I fumbled for the light switch once the door shut and our mouths connected once again, and I could have sworn it was like something out of a trashy TV show. The thought almost made me laugh, but I held it in in favor of moaning when Spencer lowered his hands to my ass and squeezed, pulling us closer together. I finally hit the light switch and then flow both of my arms to wrap around his neck and draw him even closer.

He was everywhere all at once, and it fueled me. I'd come to miss physical human interaction, but I hadn't realized how badly I craved it until he was right there, taking up all of my personal space and aiding me in creating this perfect recipe of frantic, glorious electricity.

It was going to kill me, and I would have gladly let it.

I experimentally rolled my hips forward and felt him gasp into me, and it wasn't long before he started growing hard.

Good... Now I could set the plan in motion.

"Remember what you told me?" I asked breathlessly before our heads switched sides and leaned in for more kisses.

In between them, he returned, "When?"

"The first time we met..." I trailed my lips down the column of his throat as I continued. "When you said you edged yourself..."

"O—Oh... Yeah, I remember."

"Mmm," I hummed, sucking a mark into his neck for the time being. As I did it, the grip he held on my ass tightened a bit, and I laughed lightly over his skin, slowly licking my way up to his ear. "I wanna see..."

The trembling he provided under my influence was a good sign. And then another came when he whispered. "Y—You want to see... me? Touching myself?"

"Mhmm..." I planted kisses all along his jaw before pulling back to look him in the eye, making sure he knew I was serious when I told him, "But only if that's okay with you."

He didn't even take a second to think, nodding rapidly once more and giving me a flash of a smile. "It's okay."

I hummed happily, leaning forward to give him one huge kiss, long and hard, before pulling away from him completely and nodding towards the bed. "Clothes off..."

Our hands got to work as soon as the words left my mouth.

And it wasn't until my shirt was on the ground and Spencer's eyes remained glued to my chest with trembling hands that I realized, even though we'd slept together before, our clothes had never actually come off. Tonight we were completely baring ourselves to each other, and that was somehow more intimate than the idea of taking his virginity was.

I reached out and grabbed his shirt, gently assisting him in removing it, and it must have snapped him out of wherever he'd gotten trapped because he shook his head and let out a nervous laugh, averting his eyes from me and staring at the ground.

"S–Sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for," I reassured, throwing his shirt to the ground next to mine and bringing his hands to rest on my bare stomach, slowly sliding them up. "I like when you look at me..."

His eyes reached mine once again, breath hitching as I guided his hands to cup my breasts over the bra. "Well, I... I like looking at you."

I kissed him again, hoping to bring forth some familiarity to our current routine, and it worked like a charm. Our movements were slow and steady, each article of clothing joining the floor one by one until we were down to nothing but my underwear.

I led him to the bed then, breaking us apart and making him sit. Now that I was taller than him, I gripped his chin in my hand and tilted his head up to look at me.

"Lay back for me?"

He scooted further along the bed until finally he leaned back, his head resting nicely on my pillows. I climbed up after him, kneeling at his feet and bringing a hand down trace lines along the inside of his thigh. Meanwhile I looked him up and down, finally getting a decent look at his full, bare form.

"Ohh, so pretty... And I bet you're even prettier when you're touching yourself... You wanna start?"

He reached out for his dick in answer, wrapping a delicate hand around it and slowly stroking up and down as he looked up at me with the stars in his eyes. "Like this?"

"However you normally do it, baby. Just relax. Make yourself feel good..."

After a slight nod, his hand picked up a little speed. He swiped his thumb over the tip to gather some precum for lubrication, but as hot as that was, I had a better idea.

"Here, let me help," I offered with a smile, leaning down and bracing my hands on his knees. I let spit gather on the end of my tongue before allowing it to drip down and land right on the tip of his cock. The sound he let out, broken and dripping with want, sent a jolt of electricity through my blood, only amplified by how wet he sounded once he started moving his hand again.

I let my eyes roam all over, taking in every heave of his chest, the veins in his arm and hand as he worked himself, the soft fluttering of his eyes as he lost himself in the moment... At the risk of sounding absolutely cheesy, it truly was a magical sight. I felt entirely lucky that I got to see him again at all, and now like this, bare and vulnerable and exuding lust while I was left to my own devices.

All that to say, I hadn't realized I was touching myself as well, until a whimper came from my mouth, my clit gently throbbing with stimulation at the hands of... well, my hand.

Upon seeing me, Spencer let out a whine of his own, picking up speed with his hand and throwing his head back onto the pillow.

"Y/N..."

He wasn't addressing me, wasn't asking me anything at all... My name on his lips was more of a declaration, like some type of chant, a string of letters and syllables formed specifically to bring him closer to the edge he knew he'd have to resist falling from.

"You getting there, baby?"

"U—Uh huh..."

"You better hold it," I drawled lowly, bringing myself into the more strict persona I wanted to bring out tonight, given that's still something he was into. "Just like you promised."

After a few more hard strokes of his hand, Spencer leg to quickly, bringing his hand to rest on his chest as his mouth let out the most delicious whines and grunts of determination to keep it all in. Without the stimulation, I noticed his dick slightly twitching over his stomach, glistening and  hard...

Fuck, if it wasn't the hottest fucking thing I'd ever experienced with my own eyes and ears...

I pulled my hand out of my underwear, too, still a little shocked that I hadn't realized before that I was doing it to myself and a little turned on at the fact that it had that big of an effect on him.

"I—I would have been able to go longer, but... But you were there, and you were... And I only ever have you in my head, not right in front of me..."

It was obvious that he was probably afraid he'd let me down somehow, and that was definitely not the case. So I leaned down and dragged my hands over his lower stomach, feeling inch of skin while my mouth came down to press featherlight kisses to the base of his dick. "Spence, that was hot as fuck... You really think of me when you do that?"

"Mhm," is all he offered, currently reveling in the way my tongue darted out to explore the lines of his cock.

"I think of you, too," I admitted, pausing to press a kiss to the underside of his tip. "When I touch myself... I think about how pretty you were the first time I called you a slut... Tell me, baby, you still like that?"

"God, Y/N, yes..."

I sucked gently on his tip now, watching as he watched me, his bottom lip occupied between his teeth and his eyes on the brink of closing.

He was getting close again. So I stopped, pulling off of him with a soft pop and smiling as I crawled up his body and planted a kiss to his cheek. My legs straddled his hips, and I got close to his ear.

"Tell me, what about this... other girl you went on a date with... Did you sleep with her?"

"Um... Y—yes..."

"I'm willing to bet she didn't make you feel half as good as I do..."

"She didn't..."

I smiled against his jaw, bringing one of my hands to stroke his hair. "Was she mean to you? Did she make you her dirty little whore?"

I could feel him let out a trembling breath as he answered, "No."

"That's right," I said softly, right before switching gears and tugging on his hair, pulling back to look in his eyes. "Because you're my dirty little whore."

His cock twitched along my ass at my words, and it made me smile. But before I could speak again, he did it first.

"I'm all yours, Y/N... No one else's..."

I couldn't help it then. His words, our position, the needy look in his eyes as he confessed this to me... All of it was enough to make me snap.

So I leaned in and kissed him, hard. My hands tangled in his hair while his flew to my waist, sliding down to play with the hem of my underwear as his tongue slipped into my mouth and against my own with ease. I swallowed each whine with the greatest pleasure, my hips involuntarily grinding down and spreading the evidence of my arousal along the fabric of my panties. I wondered then if he could feel how wet I was, how much I wanted him.

I didn't have to wonder for long though, because he slipped one of his hands around front and dipped into said fabric, finding how wet I was and groaning into my mouth at the feel of it.

"You've been dying to get another try at this pussy, haven't you?" I whispered into his mouth.

Unsurprisingly, I was met with a whine in return. "Uh huh... I missed you so much..."

I ground down into his hand, nipping at his lips a little before giving my next demand.

"Then prove it."

Rather than fingering me like I expected him to, Spencer rolled over and straddled my legs, tearing my panties down and leaving me with a smile.

"I love the confidence you've grown, baby boy... Proves how dedicated you are... to being the best little slut you can be."

"Yes, Y/N," he responded, leaning down and kissing the inside of my thigh. "I wanna be good for you... Let me show you, please..."

"Show me..."

His tongue came in contact with my pussy, and it immediately sent my head flying back into the pillows, a low whine escaping my throat. He flicked it over my clit expertly a few times before going down and licking a broad strip up the entire area. Vibrations flittered along his path through his groans, and just hearing how much he enjoyed it had me clenching the sheets for stability.

"Ohh, what a good boy," I praised, bringing one of my hands to stroke his hair back. "Who's my good little whore?"

He grumbled into me, but I tugged at his hair.

"Say it."

He pulled away briefly then, still in contact with my pussy as he breathed out, "I'm your good little whore..." And then he promptly got back to work, devouring me with a hungry precision that made me laugh.

"Needy, too, I see... So desperate for that cunt..."

"Yes, " I heard him mumble into me. He repeated it a few more times, chanting it as his tongue flicked through me and tasted every last drop of my impending orgasm.

I sat up a little and held his head to me, his tongue moving at a quicker, more relentless pace. My stomach started to twist and my legs clenched, holding Spencer firmly between my legs as my hips rolled forward and met his every movement. Moans fell sweetly off my lips with every second, getting higher and higher until I finally held myself still and let the high take over. His tongue drew out one of the sharpest orgasms I'd ever had, the fervor he delivered making me see stars for a solid twenty to thirty seconds before it finally subsided and my muscles started to relax.

"Fuck," I breathed, almost whining when he removed his mouth from me and just kneeled there, studying my form as I tried to catch my breath. "Get up here," I asked more than demanded, though it might have been hard to tell what with my head spinning.

Spencer climbed over my body and I pulled his face down into a warm, wet kiss that had me tasting myself and growing wet again at the taste. I pulled away then, looking into his eyes and playing with his hair.

"I can't believe you didn't come see me sooner... Depriving me of that pretty fucking mouth..."

He kissed me again briefly, whining into my mouth before I continued. "But no... You were busy going on dates..."

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he said, kissing my cheek softly, over and over as his lips made their way down to my neck. "I'm so sorry, I... I wanted to see you, I just..."

"I know, I know," I cooed, closing my eyes and relishing in the feel of his lips on my skin. "But tonight you're gonna make up for lost time, got it?"

"Yes... Yes, I'll do whatever you want..."

I hummed, bringing his head back up to meet his gaze, and my thumb stroked over his bottom lip. "I want you to put that pretty cock to good use and fuck me like the desperate little slut I know you are..."

I kissed him then, gasping out once he shifted his hips and entered me slowly— I knew he was going to get to it quickly, but I guess I'd underestimated his need to please me.

The sentiment had me curling with want, more of it coming when he bottomed out inside me and trembled. Really, I could feel him shaking as he started to pull out and then back in, setting a steady pace that would surely become more erratic once I started talking to him again.

"Shit..." Spencer cursed, shifting up on his arms for more leverage as he steadily drilled into me. "I m—missed this... Missed you..."

"I know, baby, I know... I missed you, too... And you know what else?"

I drifted one of my hands down in between us, spreading out my fingers so that his cock fit nicely between them as he fucked me. The added friction of my fingers had him whining out, dropping his head down so that his ear was right by my mouth.

I whispered. "So did my pussy... So you better fuck her good..."

The sudden brutal velocity in which he slammed his hips against mine felt like a strike of lightning, and the loud groan he let out against my neck was the thunder. Everything shifted then, Spencer lifting himself up and holding onto my legs as he drilled into me at full force, his body glistening with exertion and my own succumbing to his wind.

"Yeah, that's it," I cooed through a laugh of pure pride. "That's a good fucking whore... Giving me that cock like I own it..."

"Y—You... do," he stuttered through a broken whine. He was getting close again, and I knew just the thing to do the trick.

I reached my hand up to hold his neck, not applying any pressure, but just holding as I forced his eyes down to look at me. "That's right... That slutty cock is mine... Now give it to me..."

The end of my sentence was punctuated with a sharp cry out as another orgasm tore through me. I shouted Spencer's name into the abyss as He fucked me through it and started twitching inside me, signaling his end as well. And the added warmth from his cum as it coated my insides well and truly marked me as his, despite the words we'd just exchanged.

I belonged to him just as much as he did to me, and I wondered if he knew that. If he knew just how much he inhabited my every thought.

I wanted him to know that I was practically infatuated with him.

But that conversation could wait until after we were... settled down.

He was still inside me as he slumped forward, laying his head on my chest and rubbing lines into my forearm.

"You okay?" I asked gently, combing through his hair with my fingers.

"Most definitely... Just... tired."

I smiled, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "You're welcome to stay here for the night..."

He was silent for a long while, almost so long that I thought he'd actually fallen asleep. But then he said, "Right here? With you?" and my heart soared.

"Of course."

Truthfully, I'd have let him stay forever.

But when I opened my eyes the next morning, the other side of the bed was cold, and his body was nowhere to be found.

***

Dear Y/N,

I'm sorry for leaving you alone last week. I know you must be a little hurt and confused, but if you aren't, then just forget I ever said anything.

Nonetheless, I regretted leaving you behind last time without at the very least sending you a letter, so I hope this one finds you well. After all, you have shown me experiences I never could have imagined enjoying as much as I did, so I should thank you for that.

But that's not all that this letter is for.

I also want to invite you out to dinner some time. I know this might be a little unconventional, but given how we met and also how we reunited, I figured this would be a fun, romantic way to ask you out. I understand if you don't feel that way given that I've more or less abandoned you twice now, but I promise it was all for good reason.

If you'd like to talk more, about anything I've disclosed in this letter, I've attached my phone number below, otherwise I'd love to hear back from you. I know this sounds strange, but I've been dying to know what your handwriting looks like. I bet it's pretty, like you.

Once again, I am truly sorry for leaving you behind without a word, but I want a chance to make it up to you. Please say you'll reach out. Otherwise, I know where to find you if you'd rather I make some cheesy romantic comedy—esque gesture of affection that either makes you fall in love with me or hate me.

Yours, Spencer Reid

***

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[hurting-fictional-people]

hi!! idk if u take requests, but if u do, i was thinking maybe something where a villain and a hero are in love and in a romantic relationship (which is already stablished),, and then the hero has to fight someone they wont be able to defeat, like a supervillain or something, who is merciless and will probably kill hero if they go tru with it. anyway,, the villain knows abt hero's plan to take down supervillain bc they told them bc they r lovers n share everything <3 and villain tries to convince them not to, but hero doesn't listen and still wants to go tru with it, so villain knocks them out, kidnaps them and keeps hero in their house so that they wont b able to go try and defeat villain and die. bc they love them <33 but their morals r grey at best

Hii! Anon, this is exactly the kind of scenario I love, so thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it <3

-

If it wasn’t for the dread pooling in the pit of Villain’s stomach, they’d think that Hero looks beautiful. They always do when that fierce light shines in their eyes.

“Darling, what do I have to do to dissuade you from this insanity?” Villain is almost surprised by how steady their voice sounds. It holds nothing of the wild things stirring inside of them, making their heart race and their hands shake.

“You can’t,” Hero says, tilting their head to the side and offering them a soft smile. “I know you are worried and I love you for it, but I have to go. Supervillain needs to be stopped, Villain, and I can’t waste this opportunity. It’s the first time I have the location of their current hideout, and who knows when I’ll get a chance as good as this one to put an end to all the chaos they’ve been spreading. This city needs me, love.”

“Hero, Supervillain has years of experience on you. They know what they’re doing, and for all we know, they could be the one who sent you the anonymous tip about the hideout location. If you go there, you’ll die.”

Hero frowns, crossing their arms over their chest as they look away. “Is that truly what you think of my abilities?” they ask quietly. When Hero raises their eyes again, their expression is one of pure determination. “I know what I’m doing. I won’t die. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Villain swallows down the need to scream in frustration and takes a step in their direction. And then another one, until they stand right in front of Hero. Villain leans their forehead against their lover’s, and Hero takes a deep breath at the closeness before wrapping their arms around Villain’s shoulders.

“Trust me on this, my love. I’ll be back before you can even miss me.”

“I trust you,” Villain says, holding Hero’s waist with one hand and letting their eyes flutter closed. Villain rubs their back in soft circles, and Hero doesn’t notice Villain’s other hand sneaking into their pocket. “But please trust me on this, Hero. This isn’t a fight you can win.”

“Villain, I already said everything I had to say. I’m doing this whether you want me to or not. I’m sorry, but this isn’t an argument you can win.”

“I could say the same,” Villain whispers.

They open their eyes and find Hero’s confused gaze locked on theirs. There is gentleness there too, staring at Villain’s soul like only Hero ever has. When the needle pricks their neck, it turns into shock.

“You… What did you just…?”

Hero pushes them away, parted lips and wide eyes as they stumble backward, holding their neck. Villain doesn’t stop them. All they do is let the syringe fall from their hand and watch as Hero gasps and shakes their head in incredulity.

“No,” Hero whimpers, and that simple word sinks into Villain’s chest and shatters their heart with the horror it carries. “Villain, what did you do?”

They open their mouth, but before any words can leave their lips, Hero sways on their feet, and Villain sprints forward without thought. When their lover’s knees buckle, Villain is there to catch them.

“How could you?” they sob in Villain’s arms, clutching their shirt. “I… how could… I’ll never… V-Vil–, how c…”

Hero’s grip loosens as their voice dies down, and their hands fall limply on their lap. Their head lolls against Villain’s chest for a moment before their body sags and they are completely lax in Villain’s embrace.

“You matter far more than this city,” they whisper to Hero’s unconscious form.

-

When Hero wakes up, the first thing they notice is that they aren't at their house. And then the scent. Even without opening their eyes, they know the bed they are lying on isn’t theirs, but the smell is. Wherever they are, it still smells like home.

Smells like Villain’s perfume.

Hero blinks against the sleep still gluing their eyelids together, again and again until they open to reveal Villain’s bedroom.

“You are awake.”

They turn their head to the side and find Villain sitting by the bed. Hero nods, frowning when it makes their head throb, and then deeper at how parched their throat feels.

“Want some water?” Villain offers, and Hero nods again.

Gentle hands help them sit up for Villain to slide behind them, letting Hero lean against their chest and guiding a glass to their lips.

Hero closes their eyes and drinks.

“How are you feeling?” Villain asks, resting their chin on top of Hero’s head. It is pure instinct that leads Hero to sit back against them and hold Villain’s arms around their body.

That’s where they belong, Hero thinks distantly. In Villain’s arms.

When they open their mouth to answer, though, the words get caught in their throat. Hero blinks at Villain’s bedroom again, shaking their head when muddled memories flash before their eyes.

Hero pulls away from Villain’s hug, and turns around to face them.

“You drugged me.”

“I did,” Villain says calmly. “It’s why you are alive to talk to me right now.”

If it wasn’t for their aching head and pounding heart, Hero would think this is a nightmare.

“How long was I out?”

“A few hours. Time enough for Supervillain to change locations – it’s all over the news.”

Hero parts their lips, but there aren’t enough words to voice what they are feeling. The cold, heavy darkness enveloping their heart and squeezing.

“I had to do it, Hero,” Villain says, showing their palms in what might’ve looked like remorse if Hero didn’t know what to look for. The pride hidden in the way their brows curve, the slight tug at the corner of their lips. “If I didn’t, you’d be dead now. I can take your anger, but I can’t take a world without you in it.”

“My anger?” Hero snickers, swinging their legs off the bed and getting up. The floor seems to move when they do, and when a wave of dizziness crashes over them, Hero takes an unsteady step forward. They frown and close their eyes as they sway, and just before they can fall, warm, familiar hands wrap around them, holding them upright.

Hero’s eyes snap back open as they shove Villain away and stumble backward. “Don’t touch me,” Hero hisses.

They make it two steps back before their legs give out. Villain moves toward them, but Hero bares their teeth as their knees hit the floor.

“I said DON’T TOUCH ME,” they shout. “You think I’m angry? Is that what you think, Villain? You’ve drugged and kidnapped me. You completely disregarded what I wanted to do with my life. This isn’t a fight you can solve with a charming smile and pretty words. You, you, you drugged me–”

“I did it because I love you, Hero!” Villain yells, taking another step in their direction.

Hero gets up on wobbly legs and staggers to the nearest wall, leaning against it as Villain follows their movements with a lost expression that makes them want to scream.

“If that’s what you think, then you have no idea what love is,” Hero says, and they can’t hold back the sob that slips out along with the words. Nor the tears that roll down their cheeks unbidden. “Love isn’t choosing for the other person. Love isn’t ignoring what I wanted and kidnapping me. Love is respect and trust and understanding. This? This is… this is a tragedy.”

“No,” Villain breathes, crossing the room and only stopping when there's no more room between them and Hero, soft hands cupping tear-streaked cheeks and tilting Hero's head up until they look into each other's eyes. “Hero, I… you know how much I love you. Darling, I’d burn down the whole world for you. Please, tell me how to make this right.”

Hero closes their eyes, feeling that tender touch they want so desperately to lean into. To let Villain kiss the pain away.

“You aren’t even sorry, are you?” Hero whispers, eyes fluttering back open to find Villain blinking and opening their mouth.

“I am. I hurt you, of course I’m sorry.”

“Would you do it again?” Hero swallows, placing their hands on top of Villain’s fingers, holding them against their face. “If we could go back in time, would you do it again?”

They don’t need to hear the answer to know it. It’s written in Villain’s creased forehead and cautious eyes.

“Then you aren’t sorry,” Hero’s voice breaks as they grip Villain’s hands and push them away with as much force as they can manage.

“Okay,” Villain nods, holding still when Hero steps away from them and reaches for the door. “Okay. Cool off, we can talk about this later. We can fix this. As long as we have each other, we can fix anything.”

“Well, that’s the problem then,” Hero holds onto the door handle as they turn around and meet Villain’s wide eyes. “You don’t have me anymore. I can’t forgive you, Villain. Not for this.”

“Hero–”

They don’t stay long enough to hear anything else. Hero runs, and doesn’t stop until they are as far away as they can from the person they thought they’d spend their whole life with.

When they curl up and sob, Hero can’t help but wish Villain’s touch, soothing the pain and keeping them safe. But the pain is too big, this time. Too deep. Caused by the very hands they want around them.

So Hero hugs themself, and cries for the love they thought would last forever.

[gaymershigh]

nsfw headcannons with male dom reader and three characters of your choice 🙈

Anonnie, anonnie..anonnie.....u really gon do dis to me? I did this request asap cuz.. one me horn-horn.. And because..that's actually it. I'm just excited :) also pounding these mfs because I get excited for them (why am I saying this-)

Triggers: sexual explicit language, (Epel: over stimulation, outdoor sex, daddy kink), (Jade: very rough sex, hair pulling, mating season, teratophilia, female parts?), (Vil: worshipping kink, lace kink, kinda public sex(?), cum kink, thigh kink)

NSFW Epel, Jade and Vil x Dom! Male reader! Headcanons

He doesn't like the idea of being bottom at all and bitches about it since that means he can't show his hidden manliness or whatever. but it's not like he can top in the first place so you'll take the position whether you have experience or not.

(Basically the bigger the pp, they will be top even if the bottom has had experience)

The first few times you did it was very gentle, his body is small and sensitive to any physical contact in general. Since your cock is bigger, you have to be more gentle as he will cry in pain every time you pressed it inside him. Fortunately, he's getting more used to it the more times you do it.

His sex-drive is just a little bit below the average but that won't stop him from getting pounded countless of times as he really likes getting overstimulated. Just ruin him in general, he loves it and won't really whine about not being able to walk properly tomorrow.

His moans are so feminine and heavenly to the ears, you'll feel blessed. However, he's the type that can't shut up when you pound him so you might have to cover his mouth or use a ball gag.

He loves outdoor sex but you two only did it once. He suddenly kept getting dreaded thoughts about how it's actually not really hot if you do get caught, especially if you two get caught by the french hunter, Rook. Still, he still fantasizes about doing it other than in the bedroom. Maybe in a toilet and as always, you need to shut him up if he's being too noisy.

Of course, he will eventually not mind or even like being bottom so he'll develop some new kinks and suprise suprise, he did! Specifically, a daddy kink. Also into calling you master too but daddy is more preferable. It's one of his favourite things to scream out loud when you tightly grip his and mercilessly pound inside him.

Sometimes, if he is too tired from Pomefiore's activities to walk to your place but is still horny then phone sex will be the solution and surprisingly, he'll obey your orders and being submissive in general. Hopefully, Vil or some unfortunate dorm member doesn't barge in.

Aftercare is. a. MUST!!!! he's definitely going to be sore with your cock being deep inside him for hours. Clean him up, bathe him, rub his cock or just cuddle with him until he falls asleep! Just be gentle and nice to him, for goodness sake! Especially if you degraded him while having sex.

Jade also prefers to be the dominant one but unlike Epel, he won't complain about it. Unless you're gonna brag about how helpless he looks when you fuck him, then he will be irritated.

This man has the biggest and nicest ass in Twisted Wonderland and you're wrong if you say otherwise. It's even squishy and bouncy too! it's the best replacement for a pillow you could ever find. Other than that, it's also amazing to feel his ass when he bounces on your cock or how hot his moans are when you slap those cheeks.

He's a busy man but is also pretty horny so quickies are something that's very frequent. Even though one round isn't that satisfying but at least he got to cum. He's expecting to get the real thing when he's done finishing his tasks.

He's the master at giving head and he's proud of it. He loves going down on your dick and swirling his tongue around it. He can go for hours if he wants and trust me, if you don't mind getting your dick sucked like some lollipop for hours, he would immediately go for it.

Go rough as much as possible! He's both a sadist and masochist so vanilla is probably not a part of his dictionary when it comes to sex unless you're a gentle type of guy then I suppose he'll try going nice but you're gonna at least try being a bit rough for him, right?

Yank his hair, please! Pull his hair violently while his eyes are tearing up from both pleasure and moaning like a slut, with his tongue out and everything. He'll be thankful and feel blessed.

In mating season, he gets even more aroused and that means you two are gotta fuck everyday. You don't have enough energy for that? Don't worry! Just lay on your bed as he rides you for hours. Though, you have to use up all your stamina when he's in his eel form.

Speaking of eel form, he only changes himself when he's really desperate for some reason but it did lead you to some discoveries such as that he doesn't have a dick but a slit that works like a vagina. It's very sensitive too as just slowly pressing a single finger can make his eyes roll to the back of his head. Using your tongue? Oh man, you really know how to make him go weak.

He loves being experimental with sex positions. At this point, every time you have sex it must be a new position or else it won't be that fun. Of course he will have his favorites which are reverse cowgirl, full nelson or the classic doggie style (I feel…something wrong when I wrote this part..)

Vil doesn't really give one if he's the submissive one or not. Just as long as you don't leave hickeys and marks on visible areas, then everything is a-okay! You'll also don't have to listen to him be dramatic about it either.

Worship him like the god of beauty he is! Even if he's making some "ungraceful" faces and noises and just looking like a general mess from the gratification, he still looks like the Vil that was a few hours ago, all tidy and shiny. He might not fully respond to it while getting fucked but will praise you for your wise words when you're done.

Has an intense lace kink. He loves purchasing very revealing lacey bras and underwears to turn you on if you aren't at the time. He wants to have at least 1 lace piece of clothing or accessory on while getting dicked down.

I'm pretty sure almost everyone can agree on this that he would definitely have a few quickies while being in public-ish areas. The classic getting 'destroyed in the dressing or makeup room' scenario? Him sucking you off in the break room maybe?

Also getting him distracted is a fun thing to do especially when there's going to be an audience seeing him slightly being off. Like that one time you fingered him while he's live streaming his makeup tutorial and he was trying so hard to play it off while some people in the chat are picking up something is going on. You two did fuck immediately after the end of the stream but he got a bit pissed and you had to treat him extra carefully, good times.

His moans are like music, it could be in the Grammy's and win too if he knew. As soon as you hit the prostate, he's crying like a maniac, forgetting the fact everyone in the dorm can hear his cries and his reputation could be potentially be at risk but it's not like they have the balls to gossip. Of they do, they gonna face consequences. Stroke his dick while fucking him will make him go insane.

Unless he's really turned on, he would rather have no cum on the bed or wherever else you're doing it. He wants the place clean as possible so cum inside him, either in his ass or mouth, When he does get horny however, he wants it to be as messy as possible. Cum on his face, body, thighs, anywhere!

His thighs are the weakest spot for him. Just one touch can make him melt. Like you innocently rubbing his thighs while his head was so on it made his boner grew, made him embarrassed as hell. Caress his inner thighs when you fuck him and his legs will be like noodles.

Again, AFTERCARE!!! This is expected, not only he might be sore but he really cares about his appearance at all times (well, except having sex) so aftercare cannot be done sloppily. You must do everything that is in the aftercare checklist because just cuddles is not enough.

At last, I HAVE POSTED AND IT'S NSFW CONTENT CUZ ME HORNY, I swear I don't know what to feel about writing this, anonnie WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Autistic Hiccup x ADHD Anna Headcanons

SO I’ve been really into the whole Autistic x ADHD ship dynamic and Hiccanna...highkey fits??? Like y’all know I will die on my “Anna has ADHD” hill, but after reading this post by @hobie-brown I’m like wait, the autistic Hiccup headcanon is wonderful too??? And blends SO WELL with ADHD Anna??? And I absolutely HAD to explore it more so BOOM headcanon time! Another special thanks to @hobie-brown for writing the super lovely autistic Hiccup headcanon masterpost that inspired me to do this!

Disclaimer: I myself am not on the spectrum (part of the reason I’ve always felt a little weird about definitively HCing characters as autistic unless I see actual autistic people HC them that way too), so most of the stuff here is stuff I know secondhand from my autistic friends! I do have ADHD, so I can always promise that ADHD Anna will be 100% authentic XD

~Anna absolutely gets into Hiccup’s special interests to try and impress him. The most obvious one being, of course, dragons, but also dinosaurs (extinct dragons), lizards (tiny dragons), and Dungeons and Dragons (An RPG game that does, in fact, include dragons). Hiccup absolutely had that dragonology book as a kid and got obsessed with it beyond all reasonability. Hilariously, Anna’s wooing strategy of indulging his special interests works like a charm--mainly because a) he’s pretty flattered that someone takes THAT much of an interest in what he likes and b) half the time, ANNA finds that she genuinely gets into whatever said special interest is and finds them easy to hyperfixate on. It helps that the more she obsesses over it herself, the more she has to talk to Hiccup about XD

~Specifically, Anna definitely joins a DnD campaign at some point so that Hiccup will think she’s a “cool gamer girl”--and then gets unironically obsessed with it and starts writing 10-page backstories for all of her characters. She later tells Hiccup it started out as a ruse to win his heart via nerdiness, and he absolutely loses his shit laughing.

~One of their overlapping special interests/hyperfixations is high fantasy. Hiccup is, unsurprisingly, all about the mythical creatures while Anna is more into the magic and the zesty political drama, but you dun best believe they catch every CGI-ridden fantasy movie that ever comes out. They’ve both spent a literal fortune on fantasy movie tickets, even moreso on watching them in 3D or Imax. How embarrassing for both of them.

~Another less-obvious overlapping interest is history. Hiccup gets into it while looking into the cultural mythos of dragons (he’s pretty fascinated by the fact that so many cultures around the world thought up similar creatures independently), while Anna gets into it because she grew up cooped up bored and lonely in a big house, and entertained herself by looking into the history behind some of the family paintings. They don’t seem it at first, but they’re actually both huge medieval and ancient civilization history buffs.

~Hiccup is THE most touch-repulsed person you will ever meet. This is unfortunate, as he is also SUPER touch-starved and absolutely does not realize it (I mean, I’ve never gotten the vibe Stoic was the super huggy type, considering his and Hicc’s relationship in HTTYD 1). This means he has absolutely no fucking clue what to make of Anna when they first meet meet. Anna’s the sort of person to give physical affection pretty freely, especially if she likes you--usually in the form of hugs, arm pats or playful swats, putting her elbow on your shoulder, etc etc. Hiccup is kinda just like “this is way too much touching but like??? I kinda like having her this close to me??? What do???”

~Anna, meanwhile, notices that Hiccup kinda stiffens up whenever she touches him and seems to not be crazy about it and she’s just immediately like “yo what’s wrong???” And as SOON as he admits he’s not all that crazy about being touched randomly she’s like “OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY” and never touches him without asking again.

~As soon as she finds out touch a kind of A Whole Thing for him, Anna is like...AGGRESSIVELY respectful of Hiccup’s boundaries when it comes to physical affection. Almost annoyingly so. She gets in the habit of basically never initiating any kind of physical touch without asking first--even long after they’ve started dating, and he’s told her it’s okay to initiate touching as long as she’s not smothery about it. She still refuses out of principle.

~They come up with a kind of “consent language” so Anna can pretty quickly determine when it’s all right to touch Hiccup--because Anna still really likes being physically affectionate with him, and he does actually like receiving physical affection a lot of the time (because, again, touch-starved), he’s just choosy about who does it. They work out a system based off of small, light touches that Hiccup doesn’t mind where it’s basically 2 taps on his shoulder for “can I hug you around the neck,” 2 taps on his side for “can I hug you around the waist,” 2 taps on his arm for “can I grab/lightly slap/punch your arm,” and 1 tap on is shoulder for “can I put my arm/elbow on your shoulder.” If he’s cool with it he’ll either nod or just say “yeah go ahead.” It works a lot quicker than asking “can I do such-and-such specific touch” every single time, and allows Anna to keep some of her spontaneity. They develop this during their friendship and it ends up rolling over into their relationship, even after Hiccup has basically told her she doesn’t need to ask permission for a lot of these anymore. She adds a new one after they start dating--she taps him a couple times wherever she wants to kiss him to ask if it’s cool to give him a smooch! It usually is.

~INFODUMPING. Literally SO. MUCH. INFODUMPING. Hiccup absolutely WILL NOT SHUT UP when he gets to talking about one of his special interests. Anna just will not shut up in general, but when the topic changes to one of her hyperfixations, it’s even worse. If you try to have a conversation with these two while they’re infodumping, you WILL get talked over. Honestly, left to their own devices, they could probably infodump to each other for literal days on end.

~Despite how much they both like to infodump, they’re both pretty good about being patient and indulging the other when it’s their partner’s turn to infodump in the conversation XD They are, however, notorious about accidentally triggering a barely-related infodump in the other person. It’s not uncommon for one of them to finish a rant and then the other goes “OH THAT REMINDS ME” and sets off on a completely different, barely-related rant.

~Hiccup actually really appreciates how overexpressive--and occasionally overdramatic--Anna tends to be. He never has to try and figure out what she’s thinking because she just says everything in her brain, and her body language basically always matches how she’s feeling to a ridiculous extent, so he never has to give himself a headache trying to read her. The fact that she’s the opposite of subtle and has no filter whatsoever works great for him, because he doesn’t have to drive himself insane trying to understand her. He gets her better than he gets most people because she’s an open goddamn book. The boy’s never been the best with social cues at all, never mind the nuanced, obscure ones, so Anna’s general straightforwardness and utter inability to hide her true feelings at literally any time is a breath of fresh air. What you see is basically what you get, and Hiccup wouldn’t have it any other way.

~People think when Anna and Hiccup start dating it’s gonna be a disaster, mainly because he’s so blunt and she can be...”oversensitive” (i.e. has a REALLY bad case of RSD). Turns out they’re dead wrong--because Hiccup has RSD too! (I mean, come ON--look how BADLY he wants to get his village’s approval! And how hard he takes it when his dad or someone else is mad at him--even if he tries to hide it with snark) He’s actually one of the few people who can be blunt enough with Anna that she realizes when she’s being a dumbass but tactful enough not to hurt her feelings or set off her RSD--because god, has he been there. When Anna is being especially difficult and has worked herself into a real bad funk, Hiccup (and sometimes Elsa) is the only people who can talk to her and get through to her without getting blown up at.

~They stim in similar ways!!! They both tend to fidget or kinda bounce up in down in place as a way to comfort themselves and calm themselves down (I see them both having a lot of anxiety and generally being kind of paranoid, although Anna is MUCH better at hiding this via putting on a cheerful face). They both do the leg bounce!!! Also if they get SUPER excited they’ll do a little awkward happy dance!!! They both also tend to stim by rubbing things in small, repetitive motions--with Hiccup, it’s usually his sketching pens, his ear, his head, or the back of his neck, while with Anna, it’s usually her other hand, her arm, her clothes, or really anything with kind of a comforting, consistent texture (some favorites are rubber, felt, and velvet). After they start dating, they actually will stim with each other’s hands while holding hands--usually by squeezing the other person’s hand in kind of a repetitive pattern or doing the thumb-rub thing on the back of the other person’s hand. It’s not uncommon for them to each be doing something completely unrelated while holding hands and just stimming on each other’s hands the entire time. Anna especially really loves when she feels Hiccup stimming on her, because it’s her little indicator that he’s happy and feels at peace and content in her presence and she LOVES being able to do that for him!

~They both stim by playing with hair too! Anna likes to play with her own to stim--mainly by figeting with the end of her braids or tucking hair behind her ear. She DOES love to ruffle Hiccup’s hair too (and she LOVES how fluffy it is!), but it’s usually not a stim thing. After they start dating, Anna does occasionally stim by massaging Hiccup’s hair/scalp, but she doesn’t usually do it for very long. Hiccup really loves braiding Anna’s hair, or just playing with it when it’s down. it helps him relax and clear his mind to have something fairly repetitive and/or mindless to do.

~Even after gaining some confidence, Hiccup still has a fair bit of social anxiety, so he and Anna basically always go to parties and social events together and stick with each other the whole time to make it less intimidating for him. Hiccup generally prefers to let Anna do the talking when they chat with people, and sometimes if he’s REALLY nervous he’ll sometimes even let her kinda talk for him (not in a condescending “speaking over” kinda way, but more in like a “I can sense you’re not comfortable speaking here so I’ll help you out as best I can” kinda way). She always makes sure to leave space in the conversation for him to take over talking if he wants. She’s also incredibly prone to bragging about his accomplishments to basically everyone they know. Hiccup is both embarrassed and flattered by this.

~When Anna finds out about meltdowns (probably through Hiccup mentioning it kind of offhandedly--“Eh, sorry I went AWOL last night, I was having a bit of a meltdown. Don’t worry about it, I’m fine now.”) she lowkey gets super anxious and frustrated because she REALLY wants to help, but has no idea how. Cue literal HOURS of research on the internet and AGGRESSIVE memorizing of any and all tips that she reads that she thinks would help. Which, of course, means several MORE hours spent going over flashcards like she’s studying for a goddamn test, because Anna has never been known for her sharp, expansive memory.

~The first time Hiccup ever has a meltdown in front of her (maybe after a really bad phone fight with his dad or something? Just general sensory overload?), she takes him to a secluded room and IMMEDIATELY gets rid of anything that could be agitating sensory-wise. She dims the lights! She closes the blinds! She throws a nearby clock, an alarm, a timer, and several other objects with only the slightest potential of making an annoying noise out of a nearby window in a fit of passion! She goes on a frenzied quest to find Hiccup’s noise-cancelling headphones--and finishes it in record time! Even in a state of emotional turmoil, Hiccup realizes that Anna’s being just a little too methodical in how she goes about all this--these are the kind of things that wouldn’t ever occur naturally to her to do. So as soon as he calms down a bit and has screamed into a pillow for a while, he’s like “...did you go on the internet to look up how to help with meltdowns?” and Anna’s like “...yes?” And Hiccup is lowkey so touched he starts crying all over again...and then, naturally, makes a long string of snarky comments to try and distract from it XD

~For their anniversary Anna saves up a bunch and buys Hiccup a lizard and a terrarium!!! She gets him a crocodile skink because, I quote, “Well, they always look annoyed, they’re kinda shy, they don’t like to be touched, and they look like tiny dragons, so they reminded me of you!!!” Hiccup screams like a goddamn fangirl, he’s SO excited. As luck would have it, Hiccup’s crocodile skink is a lot less skittish and prone to hiding than they usually are, and he actually lets Hiccup pick him up and pet him without much issue. Which is honestly great, because repeatedly touching something smooth and even like lizard scales helps calm Hiccup down when he’s agitated and helps with some of his sensory issues.

~Probably goes without saying, but Hiccup basically NEVER genuinely gives Anna a hard time about her memory problems or how she’s not always the quickest on the uptake, and if anyone tries to call her annoying, dumb, or immature he will absolutely roast them into oblivion. He does sometimes like...lightly tease her about jumping into things without thinking or never shutting up, but he never pushes it if he can tell she’s genuinely bothered by it (and, again, Anna is very easy to read, so it’s not hard to tell XD)

~I’ve seen other people in the fandom HC either Hiccup, Anna, or both of them as BOTH autistic and ADHD, and honestly...fuck yes!!! I’m down for this too! I love the idea of these two disaster ND kids just vibing with each other on so many damn levels that it’s like...incomprehensible to the average human XD Like man, they fuckin GET each other!!! I’m pretty happy with most combinations of ADHD + Autistic headcanons for Anna and Hiccup, so long as they end up vibing!!!

~THEY JUST. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. SO MUCH. THEY LITERALLY WOULD DIE FOR EACH OTHER. I AM SURE OF IT. I’M CRYING. 

[foryoumyheroes]

Their S/O takes them to an Asian House Party

[Midoriya + Todoroki + Bakugou + Kaminari + Kirishima] 

A/N:  Hey here’s a niche that no one asked for. 

I know that Japanese is a type of Asian but I am a wildly different type of Asian 🤣🤣, so my headcanons are based entirely off of being this other racial group. 

I just want to say that most of the time older Asian relatives really step out of line with their comments and can be really hurtful. I absolutely hate that behavior and their mindset, but for the purposes of this let’s just say that they’re not being harmful at all and it’s mostly light teasing :) If they’re like that in real life :) screw them >:) Also P.S. if these sound familiar it’s because I’ve recycled a lot of ideas from my other blog where I wrote “Asian House Party” headcanons already! 

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, hints at underage drinking  

Midoriya Izuku: 

For the longest time it has only been him and his mom, so when he enters the house and sees it packed with people his brain just goes blank because this is a family party. 

These people are all related to you somehow?? 

He asks you how you guys are all related and you’re genuinely like, “I don’t know???” You just call everyone auntie and uncle and hope for the best.  

If you start taking him to parties before he becomes a Pro, he has enough of a baby face that your older relatives and grandparents give him a red envelope without thinking too hard about it. But he gets so embarrassed and feels so bad that he ends up giving it to your mom. 

At his first party he’s supperrr nervous and wants your family to like him. He’s stuttering nearly every other syllable. 

Never leaves your side. Trails behind you like a puppy the entire time. 

After he’s been to several parties with your family, they recognize his red Nike Air Forces in the pile of shoes outside the house enough to be like, “Hey, [Name]! Your boyfriend’s here!” 

Midoriya is kinda of a pushover during the beginning of the series, and Asian families have the tendency to tease without knowing how it might sound, so he becomes an easy target until you pull him aside and tell him to argue back. 

He’s like noooo I don’t want to be disrespectful :(. He says that he’s used to bullying so this is nothing which makes you kinda sad and angry. You’re like hahahaha no. 

You two eventually get your family to stop and that’s when he’s finally indoctrinated into your fam. 

He’s kind of the quintessential Asian boyfriend? He goes to a good school, is sweet and innocent, polite to elders, etc. When he goes to the party with you your aunties are going to your cousins and say, “Why can’t you get a boyfriend like [Name].” 

Your female relatives kinda baby him because every time they see him he’s always in a new cast with another broken bone, so when there’s no more space left on the couches or the folding stools they kick your cousins off to make room for him. 

When he later becomes Pro-Hero Deku, everyone’s in love with him. He becomes the talk of the party. Everyone brags about him saying that they practically saw him grow up when they only see him once or twice a year. 

He also becomes the “cool uncle” that offers to take your younger relatives out for boba. But you pay. You have to pay or else your mom will yell at you for making the guest spend money. 

Yes, you will polite fight your own boyfriend. 

No, he will not win, but he’s determined to win one time like the shonen protag he is. 

Always leaves the party with the large trays of leftovers for him and his mom. 

Even when he’s like in his late twenties he’s still sitting at the kid’s table. 

Todoroki Shouto: 

When you first invited him to a party with your family he’s just like, “Oh. Sure.” Most of the parties he’s been to is the rich people parties that his dad took him to for publicity, so he arrives to the house in a whole suit and tie. 

Your cousins and uncles are clowning him while the older women swoon. You’re in the background panicking because everyone else is in sweats or shorts while he looks like he’s going to prom?? 

[Your auntie says, “Oh my god, he’s making such a good first impression!” 

You: Hahahaha! Yea!〔´∇｀〕

Inner You: Oh god I forgot he’s clueless ⊙▽⊙] 

Brings an expensive pastry every time because Fuyumi said it was polite. From that everyone’s like, “Oh??? You’re invited to every party from now on!” 

Becomes the source of your mom’s humble brag. “Oh, your son goes to Stanford and is studying medicine? My kid and their boyfriend are both Heroes-in-training and he’s the son of the Number One Hero — “ 

Kinda just does whatever your aunties and mom tells him to do? 

He’ll sit wherever they tell him to sit, even if it’s far away from you and he’ll even take the many family photos for you guys in the end. Even though he’s shit at photography. 

If they’re like, “Oh, you’re so skinny, you should eat some more!” He’ll just shrug and be like okay, and doesn’t stop them when they continue to put food on his plate even though he’s full and gets into a big food coma that knocks him out on the couch right away. 

Every time he appears, your aunties will just stop and say, “Oh, he’s so handsome!” 

He’s getting better at handling kids and it shows by the way he’s more willing to play with them then hang out with your cousins that are around your age. He’s in the room upstairs and is ;; just napping with them.   

The kids in the party call him Zuko.  

Before you brought him your aunts and uncles would be like, “Do you have a boyfriend?? Do you have a girlfriend??” and you would say, “Yeah, Todoroki Shouto.” And they would laugh in your face. 

NO ONE BELIEVED THAT HE WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND UNTIL YOU BROUGHT PROOF!! HERE HE IS !! IN THE FLESH!! 

I feel like he would have the most culture shock? You guys conduct yourself in such a different way than his own family and from everyone in 1-A. You guys go batshit insane. 

When you wake him up and offer to walk him to the train station to take him home, he offers to walk you back to your house as well and you say, “Oh, I’m going back to the party after this.” 

It’s almost midnight?? 

He asks you where are you going to sleep or if you’re going to sleep at all and you don’t know how to explain the concept of how you and all of your cousins and siblings are going to cram into one room upstairs and sleep on every blanket in the house on the floor while only three or four lucky relatives are able to get the bed. 

Older Asians have no filter so they will straight up say to his face that he looks nothing like his dad he’ll just go, “ :’) Thank you, that means a lot to me.” 

Before Endeavor’s redemption arc he’s prone to oversharing and one day he tells your mom that his dad is a piece of shit and his mom is in the hospital. 

Your mom, taking her sandal and holding it like a weapon: Oh? Where’s your father?? I just want to talk. Your mom is welcome to every [Surname] party from now on!! Haha! (◕ᴗ◕✿)

His brain is doing backflips trying to figure out how you’re related to everyone. 

The only guy that neatly puts his shoes off to the side at the front door. 

Bakugou Katsuki: 

At first you didn’t invite him to the party, he kinda just figures it out from how your relatives are all tagging you on social media and forces you to invite him. 

Not because you’re ashamed of him but because they’re somewhat overbearing ;; and Bakugou has no filter. 

For someone who’s so “badass” he’s super anal about the rules and punctuality. 

You tell him the party is at 18:00 and by 17:45 he goes into your house and finds you still napping with your PJs on. Even though you tell him that the party isn’t really starting at six he doesn’t listen. He forces you to get dressed and takes you to the party and whatdoyouknow no one is there yet. No one is going to be here until at least two hours after the designated time. 

He instead forces you to help the women in the kitchen prepare the food, aka he’s helping while you laze around in the living room. 

All of the women are like, “Wow! You can cook so well! [Name] you should be more like him!!” 

If this is the first time he meets your entire extended family, he’s inwardly hyping himself up to make a good first impression. If you are not Japanese, he manages to memorize several greetings in your language and the proper formalities when greeting an older relative. Then he goes in and everyone’s already drinking and screaming their throats out to karaoke. 

When he walks into the party with his black tank top and saggy pants everyone’s first thought is that he’s an Asian Baby Boy. Like he probably takes social media pictures in front of cars, is going to break your heart, goes to raves, is named Kevin Nguyen. 

Everyone is loud af at this party so they don’t really care that he’s screaming. They love teasing the shit out of him because his reactions are so fucking funny. 

When one of your uncles offers you alcohol he immediately snatches it away from you. No, you guys are underage, have an athletic lifestyle, and he’s so protective of you asdfg 

He’s been so focused on being a Hero that when your cousins play against him in video games or card games he loses horribly. He’ll just keep going, “One more round!” until he finally wins. 

Your mom forces you to do a convenience store run to get something that the party is running out of and when you come back Bakugou managed to find is way into the “women” side of the room where they’re all gossiping with him and playing poker together like they’ve been friends forever. 

Your mom honest-to-god acts like he’s more of her child than you are. 

When you guys finally get your families to meet, his mom and your female relatives are going to be so powerful together. 

Is trying his damned hardest to get through the entire party because it can go all night long and he sleeps at 8:30PM. 

Kaminari Denki: 

The KING of the Asian House Party.

Absolutely CRUSHES it at karaoke with your family. Even though he might not speak your language, he’s putting so much passion into it that no one cares anyway. 

Sings so loud that the neighbors complain. 

Your family loves him because he’s just so happy-go-lucky. The life of the party. 

He goes around eating all night and continually asks you, “Hey [Name], what’s this? What’s this one?” 

You can drop him off in the designated kids room and not see him for hours on end. He’s too busy playing video games with your cousins and siblings. 

But he’s such a sucker. Your uncles and older cousins pull him into any gambling game and he loses so bad, even if he’s gambling things like candy or food. 

Kinda gullible when your family teases him?? If you’re not Japanese they teach him an insult in your language but tell him it’s a complement or “It’s like saying, I love you more than words,” and they send him off to tell you it. 

And he acts super fucking cocky like the e-boy smirk while he’s rubbing his hands together, and biting his lip and shit. While you’re just sitting on the stool with a drink in your hand like, “Okay....” 

He tells you the insult and butchers the pronunciation already, but acts like you’re about to fall in his arms and you just ;; burst out laughing ;;; until you fall off your chair. 

Has the party time down pat. He won’t arrive until three hours later, and that’s when you tell him an earlier time than everyone else. 

Will drink anything your uncle offers up. He’s a lightweight. You end up half-carrying him half-dragging him back to his house. Nearly trips on the sea of shoes outside the front door and falls on you. 

You’re just lucky that he doesn’t discharge his Quirk randomly when he’s drunk.

Doesn’t get Asian glow.  

When your mom discovers you struggling outside she just tells him to sleep over and if this is his first party with you guys, you’re able to get the bed because he’s the guest 😌😌. If he’s been here several times before, yeah ;; you guys are going back to a pile of blankets on the floor.  

Kirishima Eijirou: 

The “big brother” figure of the party. 

The kids love him and he’s willingly playing “Heroes and Villains” with them for hours. 

Since he’s so broad they hang off of him like a limpet and he walks around with children draped around him. 

Ngl... He walks into the party dressed like all of your other male cousins. 

Basketball shorts, t-shirt, crew socks. 

He’s able to find his shoes super fast at the end of the party because he’s the only person that’s willing to wear crocs. 

Willing to go outside with your cousins to play basketball with them but he’s so out of practice that he fumbles so bad. 

After several games he gets the hang of it and isn’t deadweight to your team anymore. 

LOVES going to your family’s parties because he gets to eat whatever he wants without holding back. Eats several plates and when someone suggests going to get ice cream he’s like, /gasp/ “Ice cream???” 

They were offering the little kids, but okay, a teenager can come along too. 

You’re never too old for ice cream. 

For some reason he’s able to get along with everyone at the party?? He just has a personality that makes him easy to talk to, and by the end of the night or the next day, he’s saying goodbye to everyone by name. 

[“No, wait, [Name], I haven’t said goodbye to your cousin’s sister-in-law’s daughter yet. 

You do a double-take because even you have no idea who that is.] 

When he gets a little bit older and he’s finally allowed to move out of the kid’s table and eat with the older male relatives he’s so ;;; awkward. 

They’re just all in the garage eating, drinking, and smoking and he’s just sitting there having no idea what to do. 

Eventually he convinces you to join him in the garage because he wants your emotional support and is super shocked when you fit right in. He’ll just ;;; go back to the kid’s table. 

Can’t sing to save his life. 

You guys heard him do karaoke once and you never let him do it again. 

If one of your relatives teases him he’s able to laugh it off and not think too much about it, but if they say something that might be hurtful to you he’s so quick to shut it down. He doesn’t care that they’re blood related to you or not. 

Does not let up until they apologize. 

For some reason all of the ladies are confused af when they find out that he dyed his hair?? They’re like omg is he a secret delinquent. 

LOVES to hear your relatives talk about what you were like when you were a kid. 

It’s embarrassing af but he just laughs it off like, “It’s okay, babe! You sound like you were super cute as a kid!” 

[absurdthirst]

If you’ve already done this HC, please disregard or if it’s too NSFW. I was just wondering, based on their personalities what characters would be the best at foreplay, especially going down on the reader. Idk why I can see Tovar being surprisingly good at it. The more detail the better 🥵. Ok thank you , bye bye horny anon is out peace ✌🏻-🔥

Good at Foreplay:

Javier: I’m probably going break a lot of hearts with this, but I don’t see Javier as being really into oral. Fingering, sure. But I don’t see him really practicing a lot on the girls he pays for sex. Because....yeah. He’s a bit rushed with it. It’s more of a making sure that you are wet enough rather than anything else before he slides up your body and slides inside. Now...if you two have been in an established relationship for awhile, he’s going to make more of an effort to learn what you like, but it’s pulled out for special occasions. 

Ezra: Fuck does this man love eating your pussy. He swears that he could actually stay alive just by drinking down the essence that your body produces. He enjoys taking his time. Your thighs framing his head and watch your writhe under the skill of his tongue. He’s always know how mouth was his best feature. And he uses it to his advantage. It’s not just the way that he flicks it over your clit or pierces your cunt, it’s the way that he talks to you while doing so. Filthy, depraved and hotly erotic words flow from his mouth when he pulls away, all to let you calm down and work you up even more at the same time. He’s not going to stop until you are completely boneless with pleasure, then he will give in to his own body’s demands. 

Tovar: Again, realistically, probably not that great at it. He’s from a time where bathing is alike a once a week thing. Shudders thinking about that. But IF bathes were common? Still wouldn’t be that great at it. That is, until he got with you. He WANTS to please you. Surprises the shit out of himself, but he craves hearing your cries and experiencing your pleasure when he’s not desperately seeking his own. It comes about because every time he sinks his cock into you, he cannot help but lose his mind. So putting his mouth on you is a way that the can enjoy your sounds without rushing to win the race that his body demands to win. And when he starts mapping the way that you respond, hang that shit up. Strategy is his survival, he’s trained to use it. His tongue curls this way and you shriek. He nibbles on your clit and you tug on his hair. All learned and committed to memory so that he can take you apart piece by piece. And you can expect him to want to see that multiple times before he finally takes you. 

Mando: Poor Din. He lives behind a helmet under a religion where no living thing can see his face. And you expect him to be good at oral??? Nope...he doesn’t have the first idea of what to do. But like Tovar, he’s a eager learner. At first is just a lot of licking at you. Don’t think him weird, that just his taste buds going insane. He has trained and learned from people different skills over the years, especially in the Fighting Corps. He’s not going to hesitate to ask you what you like. But since he’s given access to your body now? Expect to be blindfolded at every opportunity and have him spend hours between your thighs. Practice makes perfect. 

Catfish: I see him being one of the best. His high school girlfriend should be given a medal for demanding that he go down on her. Because God Bless that woman wherever she is now. With a lover, Frankie is relaxed and playful, more so that with the guys, and he honestly a bit cocky in this area because he knows he can make you cum. Sexually, he’s a giver and he loves lapping at you and playing with your clit. Fucking loves when you cum on his face, so of course his going to bury his mouth into you and work his tongue. It’s a full on meal for Frankie and he opens his mouth as wide as he can to get as much of that sweet pussy into his mouth as he can. He loves to pump two thick fingers into you while he concentrates on your clit. Nibbling and gently scraping his teeth over you just to have you arch up and gasp out his name. He could honestly just to this and be happy. Plenty of times he would have cum just from one stroke to his cock over how good you sounded and felt as you came for him.

Max Phillips: Look, he might be an annoying frat-boy, with the smarmy smile of a snake oil salesman and weird management styles, BUT THIS MAN KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND FOREPLAY.  He teases, it what he does. And since becoming a vampire, that shit is over 9000! (bonus points to whatever dork gets that reference) Plus, he has no real reason for needing breath, so he will fucking suffocate himself in your pussy. Plus it’s a control thing, he gets to make you cum as many times as he wants and reduce you to this shaking, panting mess that only wants him. You swear to God that his tongue is as long as his cock as it flicks against the back of your cervix. But it’s not like he’s going to tell you his using his vampiric morphing just slightly to be able to really get deep into you. He’s just going to wink and tell you that nobody but him can satisfy that greedy little pussy. 

Whiskey: It would be an affront to his southern manners if he didn’t know how to make sure his lady had a good time. His ‘save a horse, ride a cowboy’ mentality also mean riding that mustache too. His favorite view it looking up at your, your thighs on either side of his head and watching your body move. His tongue is thick and honey, and he may talk slower because of his accent but that doesn’t mean he can’t whip it around your clit like nobody’s business. He makes it his mission to buck you off like a pissed off bull, but only because you can’t handle the tongue lashing he’s giving you. But that arm snaked around your waist and on your back holds you in place while he takes you for the ride of your life. Grinning into your cunt while you scream out when the fucker bites down on your clit and sucks like there is no tomorrow. Ride a cowboy for sure. 

Marcus: EAGER, eager, eager! This man is practically giddy with anticipation. Another one that is skilled as fuck. Another giver who just wants you to cum for him. It’s another way to prove to you that he cares about you, putting your needs over his own. It’s not aggressive, it’s more sensual. He likes a more sedate pace, a bigger build up to the mind blowing climax of the session. Gentle kisses and slow calculated strokes of his tongue are all apart of his plan. He is making love to your pussy with his mouth and JESUS does this man love. You will be begging for more, harder, faster but he doesn’t budge. You will love it more when that slowly built pressure inside your body finally reaches the boiling point and shatter, gushing all over him and the sheets in the biggest orgasm you’ve probably ever had from oral. How the fuck did Lisbon give this man up?

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[erza-haninozuka]

Always and Forever

Characters: Takashi Morinozuka x Female Reader

Words: 2,148

Warnings: Angst, major character death, mentions of a car wreck and aneurysm, and there is some fluff if you squint

A/N: Today’s fic is inspired by a song that makes me want to fall in love. I know it seems odd considering the lyrics but it’s just the meaning behind it that I find beautiful and is the reason I chose this song. Plus the other ones I had lined up didn’t strike inspiration the way I had hoped. 

You sat at the table with dinner all made and set, waiting for Takashi to walk through the door any minute now with the items you asked for him to pick up on his way home from work. 

But it was forty minutes past time he would usually arrive home and all he had to pick up was more milk.

He was never a man to dawdle in the grocery store unless it was the two of you together, debating and brainstorming ideas of what to make. 

But those minutes slowly began to eat away as your dinner began to go cold and your heart began to sink. 

He was a man of punctuality. 

But today he was far from it. 

You began to pace the dining room and checked your phone, but it was eerily quiet too. 

No texts and no calls. 

You needed to distract yourself so you let out a gentle sigh, sitting back down, and eating what cold food your stomach could muster with all the knots building up. However each bite you took down, your body was ready to throw it back up.

You only got half way in before giving up and pushing your plate away. 

Calm down, breathe. 

It was just traffic! Maybe the roads started to get busy like they usually do at a time like this. 

Maybe he ran into an old friend in the milk isle and they got to talking, losing track of time. 

Scenario after scenario and lie after lie, you told yourself something comforting to keep the anxiety at bay. But like many other times, your anxiety was winning. 

You wanted to go out and look for him, but your body wouldn’t allow you the effort to leave. 

Because you convinced yourself he could return when you’re gone. He would be home any minute now. 

But he never came and those minutes you kept telling yourself, whisked away into hours like the food that now sat in the bottom of your trash can. 

It was growing late and there was no way you could go to bed without your fiance when you had no idea where he was or what was going on- hoping with all your might that maybe it was one of Tamaki’s stupid ideas to drag him somewhere. 

But Tamaki hadn’t heard from him. No one had. 

Was it cold feet maybe? Did his insecurities finally win and convince him he wasn’t good enough for you? 

With a shake of your head you tried to scatter the thoughts or with any luck shake out of your brain, but they just came flooding back. 

You adjusted against the arm of the couch, tucking yourself into the blanket even more, closing your eyes for just a brief moment and replacing the warmth from the fuzzy throw with Takashi’s arms. 

Your heart settled for just a moment at the thought, but it was all ripped away when the sound of your phone ripped through the house from the kitchen.

The silence was finally broken, startling you from your peaceful daydream as you walked, feet padding against the cold tiled floor as you made your way to the counter. 

It wasn’t the person you were hoping for- in fact there was no name attached, just an unknown number you hadn’t seen before. 

You gulped and quickly answered. 

“Is this Y/N?” 

“Yes, who is this?” 

You could hear them gulp on the other end of the line before they spoke, telling you that you were the emergency contact on file and that Takashi was in intensive care. “I think it’s best if you make your way down here.He’s currently stable but we don’t know how long he’s going to have.” 

Your heart dropped and shattered into a million pieces, before you could ask any questions you were letting them know you were on your way and quickly hanging up. 

With the speed of light you grabbed your wallet and keys, slipping on the nearest shoes and pulling on a pair that didn’t even match.

But right now how could you care when the man you loved more than anyone in this world was slipping away at a speed you knew nothing about?

Your hand was shaking as you tried to push the key in the ignition, swearing under your breath as tears began to blur your vision. Finally on the third try you were able to get the key in, turning it quickly and bringing the car to life. 

You wiped the tears that already spilled out and attempted to calm your nerves enough to drive. But you couldn’t remain calm as you drove. 

Your foot seemed heavier than normal and your road rage infinitely much worse that matched something of a demon- yelling and crying at anyone who dared to drive below the speed limit. 

In a matter of time you were peeling into the parking lot and hurrying to find a parking place, not caring if you were too close to the lines. Once your car was in park and shut off you scrambled into the hospital, the bright fluorescent lights blinding you as you made your way to the front desk. 

The nurse behind the desk took one look, immediately giving you a face of sympathy as you closed the distance, hands trembling as you caught your balance on the desk.

The weight of what she might say was ready to crush you at any given moment.

“Takashi, Takashi Morinozuka. I received a call and was told he’s in intensive care?” 

The nurse flashed a gentle smile, paging down one of the nurses to lead you there. 

The gentleman gave you the same face as he led you down what felt like a maze of a million hallways before coming to the intensive care unit. 

Takashi’s doctor was at the doctor’s station nearby, catching your eye and coming over before the nurse could directly take you to your fiance’s room. 

The doctor wore the same, gentle smile as he told you everything they currently knew about Takashi. He filled you in on how he was brought in from a wreck and they had discovered that there was an aneurysm that was bleeding out, they were thankfully able to stop the bleeding before it got too serious. 

But they didn’t know they had missed one that was still leaking out.

He told you of his broken bones, punctured lung, and lesions. How he had some bruises that were already showing, attempting to prepare you. 

It was all muffled as your brain began swirling, but all stopping when you heard that he was conscious currently. 

The doctor led you to his room, and you could see him through the pieces of glass. Before he even opened the door you knew Takashi looked and felt like hell.

But you still weren’t mentally prepared when he opened the door to see him with wires and tubes, cuts and already formed bruises decorated his face and arms that were currently visible to you.

You didn’t know just how much more damage he sustained away from the naked eye. 

Takashi’s eyes fell on you once you walked in, giving you an apologetic smile as you made your way over, dragging the chair closer.

The sound of the metal on the tile drowning out the machines beeping. 

“I’m sorry,” was all he muttered out. 

“Takashi please don’t be sorry. This- this wasn’t your fault.” 

He didn’t try to confirm or deny your words as he carefully took your hand in his, gently giving it a squeeze. 

It was obvious how much he was currently fighting just to get to spend this time with you, and it was breaking your heart even more. 

“Come closer.” 

You obeyed, leaning closer to him, breaking when you felt his busted lip gently place a kiss to your head, hand coming up and carefully catching the tears that finally got to break free.

“Y/N.” 

You looked to his eyes, discarding the fact one had a blood vessel busted, instead choosing to get lost in the storm gray of his eyes. They were currently a typhoon of emotions, and only half of them you could read. 

“Let’s just be happy for right now?” 

You took in a breath, knowing full well he was right. You couldn’t let the last thing he’d see be you breaking down, so instead you pulled back and finished drying up your own tears.

“Y/N, can you imagine the life we would’ve had?” 

“It would’ve been an amazing one, Takashi. We would go wherever we wanted for our honeymoon before truly starting our lives together. How many kids would you have wanted?” 

“As many as you’d allow me.” 

You blushed a bit at the confession, “Three is a good number.” 

He smiled softly, “Two girls and a boy.” 

“Why two girls? We’d overrun the house,” you teased. 

“Either way the queen would oversee them all. Their brother would protect them.” 

“Yeah he would. He definitely would if he turned out to be anything like you.” 

He hummed in response, “A dog would’ve been nice too.” 

“Could you imagine if it was massive? We could probably stick Mitsukuni on it like a horse.” 

Your heart jumped as you pulled a small laugh from him before he coughed. 

“You’d make me happy for all my days- you have made me happy.” 

“Takashi…” 

“Y/N, let me finish. Don’t call the others until after I���m gone. Mitsukuni will help you. He’ll get you anything you need. Please, try to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself in the ways I couldn’t and that I won’t be able to.” 

“Sweetheart, please…” 

“I just hope I made you--” 

“Please don’t do this to yourself right now. Takashi you’ve,” you stopped yourself blinking. “I have a crazy idea. It’s going to sound insane but what would you say if I wanted to get married. Right here, right now.” 

He blinked, clearly not expecting you to say that before he smiled wider than earlier he had, reopening the wound on his lip. “The nurse button is on the remote.” 

You nodded and quickly called for them to get the chaplain.

The two of you killed the time by continuing the talks of the life you’d live together. The life of grandchildren, being together through thick and thin, sickness and health, for richer or poor- the pets you would have and how you would grow old together remaining side by side. You even talked of the house you would’ve wanted, remaining close to the Haninozuka’s like Takashi would’ve wanted. 

Your children would’ve been close to the Haninozuka’s like Takashi was so used to. 

They would be raised in the Morinozuka way, but also given a freedom to choose the life they’d want to live 

And when the chaplain came in it was clear he was expecting words of prayer by the way his face contorted into a bit of confusion when you asked him to marry you. 

He looked at Takashi as if silently asking him if it’s what he wanted. 

Takashi nodded his head and the chaplain began the service, doing a shorter version than usual given the circumstances. 

You could tell as you watched him throughout, that he was slowly losing his fight. 

And when it came time for his vows it took all the strength you had to not burst into tears right then and there. You would need to save them until after he was gone. 

Takashi gave you a loving look as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, “Y/N, I will always love you. Always and forever, from now until my last breath. I will love you even when I’m not here. You will always be my home and the one I love most. I will forever cherish the time we have spent together.” 

The chaplain smiled softly, continuing on. 

You could tell when it was time to seal your marriage with a kiss, that he was close to losing his battle.

You gently cupped his face, being mindful of the injuries and placing a gentle kiss on the lips to your now husband.

Takashi gently held your chin, giving you the same gentle and loving kiss to your lips. 

You pulled away just enough to take one last look into those dark gray eyes that made you feel at ease and right at home, “It’s okay Takashi. I’ll be okay, you can go now. I will love you, always and forever.” 

He gave you one last gentle smile, his voice barely coming out as he told you he loved you too before his voice broke off and the machines around you began to signal he was gone. 

The tears you were holding back immediately came cascading down your face as you wept into the man you loved more than anyone else in this world. 

[cant-blink]

Trust, Ch. 1

Summary: Despite being hated enemies with Gigan, Mothra ‘agrees’ to go on a date with him and is forced to put trust in this monster. Both Gigan and Mothra are using the FW design.

-

This was probably going to be one of the worst ideas she’s ever had, but she honestly couldn’t take it anymore. Hearing over and over, the same obnoxious attempts to flirt from this asshole as they battled it out time and time again. Hell, even outside of battle, he would yell out “Give me your number!” every time he saw her. What did that even mean?!

It was clear this alien cyborg didn’t take her seriously, didn’t take their fights seriously and it would be enough to break even the strongest of patience. It certainly has gotten on her very last nerve.

“Maybe after I’m done beating your ass out here,” he had said after slashing at her with a claw. “We can bring the action into the bedroom.”

She finally snapped and without thinking: “Shut up! Shut! UP!! I'll go out with you if you just shut the hell up!”

...

The silence that followed was almost as intense as their battle. The blue cyborg across from her tilted his head slightly, visibly taken aback that she actually said that. But she doesn’t back down from her bluff; one of them was going to fold and it’s not going to be her. Foolish and immature? Perhaps, certainly not something her mother would’ve done.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Mothra continued. “Going on and on about ‘showing me a good time’, how about you actually DO it?”

She was expecting, hoping, that he would immediately deny her, admit that he was just messing around. But instead, she heard him let out a laugh.

“You’re serious?”

She was dead serious, and he knew it. He never actually had any real interest in her, and his taunts were just that: taunts, meant to agitate her. It was funny, hearing the increasing anger in her voice as she kept telling him to shut up and fight. Really, she only encouraged him by saying that. But the idea that she would actually accept his ‘offers’ never crossed his mind and for a moment, he had no idea how to respond. She was bluffing, surely, but does he call her on it?

Well, of course he has to. This has become a game between them, and he was not going to be the one that backpedals. Who knows, maybe it could be fun.

“Alright then, babe,” Gigan chuckled, straightening out from his fighting position. “My bedroom, or yours?”

“No,” she told him firmly, her mind scrambling to avoid THAT fate. “We’re going to do this properly. You want me so bad, take me out on a date first.” Ha! Now the stupid cyborg definitely had to back down first! Surely, he would never-

“A date?” Gigan responded with a combination of disbelief and amusement. Well, now she definitely had his curiosity and still not backing down, he stepped closer. She doesn’t move from where she hovered. “Where to?”

“I don’t know,” Mothra told him. Shit, she’s losing it! “You’re taking me, so wherever you think I’ll have a good time.”

Gigan watched her for a moment. She really was being serious, wasn’t she? Alright then, he’ll bite. He wasn’t exactly sure what SHE would find fun, probably something boring like the beach or something. Nah, he had better ideas on where to go to have fun, and he already had one in mind.

“Tell me, how often have you actually travelled off this pathetic little mudball?”

It was Mothra’s turn to tilt her head and she would narrow her eyes if she could. He’s an alien, so of course he would want to go somewhere off the planet. But... “Never. I can’t fly into space, so whatever you have in mind isn’t going to work.”

Just keep being difficult, he’ll give up eventually.

“Don’t be so sure, babe,” Gigan pressed. “Anyway, there is this one bar I like to go to.”

“A bar?” THAT’S this cyborg’s idea of a date? Granted, she hasn’t been in any sort of relationship before, but she’s next to certain the bar wasn’t the usual choice for a first date. Right? Either way... “In space? Seriously, how exactly am I to get there, genius?”

“I suppose the real question is, how much are you willing to trust me?”

“Not at all.” she deadpanned.

“Smart girl,” Gigan snickered. “Unfortunately, you don’t have much of a choice, do you? After all, I’m taking you, right?” Mothra was clearly not amused with him using her own words against her. “Or do you want to back down? In which case, I’m calling this battle a win.”

“No, no. I’m not backing down from anything.” Her sense of pride forbids it. “But you do know there’s plenty of bars here on Earth, right? We can just go to one of those. I think Anguirus actually has one on Monster Island.”

“Ha! His little shack won’t hold a candle to the one I go to. The location alone is breathtaking, better than anything you’ve ever seen here,” he tells her. “Only the best for you, babe.” He flashed his visor at her, and she flinched the tiniest bit. False alarm, that wasn’t another of his laser blasts; it was his version of a wink. 

He didn’t seem to notice her little flinch as he continued. “That and my friend works there. We’ll get free drinks, without me having to kill anyone for them. Which I will happily do in your local bars. You wouldn’t want innocent blood on your claws, would you?”

He really was making it difficult for her, trying to get her to back down first! He got her in a corner here and neither of them were backing down! What have they gotten themselves into?!

Mothra kept her blue compound eyes on him before she glanced back down towards the ground. After a moment, she looked back up at him and saw him watching her expectantly. There was no way out of this unless she surrendered the battle.......

Which will never happen!!

“Fine.” This is going to be a bad idea, but she can’t back down now. Besides, the more time he’s spending with her, the less time he’s causing trouble. This can work to her advantage. “Again: How am I going to get there?”

“You’ll have to come closer, babe,” he tells her. “Real close.”

Yep, this definitely was going to be a bad idea, but nonetheless she flew closer to the cyborg. Her wingbeats were slow and cautious as she approached, hesitating just out of range. She could imagine her mother yelling at her over this. Hell, even Battra would scold her for this stupidity...

“Closer.”

Her claws twitched, as she gave another flap of her wings to close the distance a little bit more. No sooner had she done that than he reached out a claw and pulled her in. Her legs instinctively pushed against him, trying to keep her body off his and, most importantly, off that buzzsaw. But alas, Gigan pulled her back against him, the smirk ever-present on his beak widening.

“Let go,” she demanded.

“Don’t be so difficult, babe,” Gigan chuckled. “I told you, you’re going to have to trust me, whether you like it or not.” His visor moves to her wings, still fanned open and his other claw trails over the scaly surface, slight dust falling as he does. “I suggest you fold these down. My transport won’t accommodate for them.” His voice took on a sarcastic tone. “Would hate to damage such pretty little sails.”

Why does he keep calling her wings that? It’s annoying as fuck, but she has long since given up correcting him on it.

Without a word, she folds her wings down, as tight as she could against her body. Even rolling up the edges to make extra certain they were safe from whatever was about to happen. Unfortunately, she really did have to trust this cyborg at this point, and she hated it.

Gigan started flying straight upwards, carrying her with him. How far up are they going to go? In no time, she was higher than she usually flew and it was already getting colder, especially as they made it above the clouds. The droplets of water on her fur frosted over, and the air was starting to thin. She felt the muscles in her thorax begin to shiver, and her abdomen contracted and expanded quickly to force in more air, the insect equivalent to gasping for breath. 

Her heart began to race in her abdomen as she began second-guessing Gigan’s intentions. He was going to take her into space without protection, wasn’t he? Swear, she will reincarnate in an instant just to kick his ass!

She already began pushing against him, about to struggle free to commence the ass-whooping when Gigan suddenly curled up around her. Blue energy escapes him and began to solidify around them. Now she understood what he meant about potentially damaging her wings, as it seemed the energy already had a pre-set boundary to construct around. No doubt her wings would be crushed or even cut right off if they got in its way.

Mothra rolled her wings up more, making sure the edges don’t extend beyond Gigan’s body. Only after the diamond was fully formed around them did she relax her wings, unfolding them to rest against the transparent walls of their space-pod. She can breathe properly again, and her abdomen relaxed as well. She wasn’t going to suffocate, she was going to be okay. Hopefully... 

It took a moment for her to comprehend that she’s now trapped in here. With Gigan of all kaiju. The available space was quite snug too, so pushing off of him wasn’t much of an option. He was quite warm at least, especially after the cold trip up here.

What was most alarming, though, was the ever increasing sleepiness blanketing over her. The way it was coming out of nowhere wasn’t natural. Oh, no... She glanced up at the alien’s face, only to find his visor dimming. “Gigan?”

“Hm?” His voice sounded tired and his visor brightened slightly. Oh, he was falling asleep, so whatever it was is effecting him too. That meant it was normal and she wouldn’t be left vulnerable to him. Good, because she wasn’t ready to trust him THAT much. She doesn’t say anything further and instead shifted a bit.

The cyborg made no attempt to hold her still and she moved to peer over his shoulder. His sails were flattened against his back, giving her a clear view behind him. 

There was Earth, getting smaller and smaller behind them. They must be accelerating at insane speeds, yet she felt none of the g-forces involved. Very odd.

She felt Gigan rest his chin down onto her back, and she does nothing to shake him off. No, she focused only on her home getting further away. She hoped everyone there will be okay, and that Battra won’t do anything stupid like kill all her humans. Damn idiot counterpart, thinking he knows better than her; ‘The humans are a threat to the world, blah, blah, they must be destroyed, blah blah’. He’s just mad they worshipped her over him. 

Her mind was getting cloudy as the sleepiness overtook her and she too rests her chin on Gigan’s shoulder, cheek pressing against his neck. She can feel his breathing slowing down, until it was undetectable.

This wasn’t just sleep, she realized. This was full-blown suspended animation, and she wasn’t quite sure if she was ready for that. Didn’t matter, it was already too late to turn back. Her own eyes dimmed and her antennae drooped as she drifted off, her beloved Earth now a speck in the distance.

She’ll be back, she promised.

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Stump Day Review or The Why Are You Booing Tom He’s Right Holiday Special

Before we start a special credit to @jess-the-vampire​ who I discussed the episode with during the writing process and brought up a LOT of good points that ended up going into this review. She clearly hates it as much as I do and had even more good reasons for it.  Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody! And today we got a big, fat, grotesque lump of coal to smash to pieces. And after a long, draining, if worth the effort scrooge review, and with this being something I needed to cross off my to do list this holiday season, I put this one here as I could use the cathariss of giving this steaming bowl of elephant piss a good thrashing. As you can tell unlike my usual reviews, I do not like this episode. This isn’t the FIRST i’ve not liked i’ve covered, but it is the first rather infamous one to me i’ve covered and not just a dead possum of an episode I ran into while reguarly covering an otherwise good show like “Quaraller’s Pass” or “Strife of the Party”. This one’s had it coming, making my top 8 worst christmas specials list last year, and while not the series worst outing, that’s a toss up between the finale and marco jr, it’s easily one of them. So while usually I like diving deeply into something good and picking apart while it’s good, if not ignoring any bad aspects, here i’m just going to take a hammer to this thing to explain why it dosen’t work and why it sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. I might be overstating it a bit but probably not.  Nothing really new has happened since the last episode so the only new thing to cover is why i’m doing the episode here instead of after Monster Bash. And the simple reason is that like the Ducktales Halloween and Christmas specials, this episode clearly does not take place in the same time frame of the episode before or after it, with the next episode, The Bog Beast of Bogabah, taking place the day after Monster Bash. It’s most likely they simply held this episode over till Christmas and it dosen’t really fit in AFTER the huge game changer that is monster bash, especailly since the next three episodes after this all take place in rapid sucession, two on the same day one the day after them. So yeah i’m doing this one first and putting it ahead of monster bash on my episode guide for clarity’s sake. 

Good, so with all that settled, let’s unwrap this complete works of pauly shore shall we? We open on the titular Stump Day, essentially mewni’s christmas complete with Cocoa, carols and a gay couple and their equally adorable child. And Star, unsuprisingly is giddy for it as the actual chlidren, and wearing an adorable santaesque dress complete with horns on her santa hat. Seriously you cannot tell me tom didn’t get that for her. Fucking precious. Marco is more just confused and has his hood up and one of Star’s cousins asks uncle river to tell him the origin of stump day. River’s response.. is easily the best joke of the episode. 

“(in a jolly tone) ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do”

He does so anyway though: Basically when settlers arrived on Mewni they found themselves cold and griping with each other, and soon found a blizzard had struck.. but by huddling together under a magic stump, they all learned to get along or something like that and now once a year everyone gathers in warmth and camraderie.. or else. Before Marco can understandably question what “or else” means in this context, Star butts in when one of her cousins chastises the younger one who asked river the question for beliviing and says he’s real. It’s a nice touch as it fits star perfectly to still belivie in mewni’s horrifying version of santa. I forgot just how adorable and likeable the character was before the final season shot that to hell. How her energy could be infectious and how Eden Sher really brought her all to the performance, which is still the performance of her career and hopefully like Rider Strong she’ll do more voice acting eventually.  So that night as Star tucks in after wonderful  night of sleep, and to avoid her dad’s usual drunken chorus of Tom Jones “Sex Bomb”, and gets woken up by Marco who leads her to the dining hall because a windows broken to fix it with magic. Star entirely buys this flimsy story.. but as Jess pointed out, and as I missed hence the credit up top... she dosen’t bring her wand. She.. dosen’t bring her wand.. to go fix something with magic. Now i’ll grant next season shows she CAN fully do magic without it, and while not as powerful like her mom still has plenty of punch behind it.. especially when she does the rainbow fist thing. But it’s still.. weird she dosen’t think to grab it and feels out of character. While Star’s learned by this point not to rely on it, and as we’ll see gives it up entirely, one of the few bits of her character development that actually sticks, it still seems resonable she’d take it with her wherever she goes.. and usually SHE DOES. And her jammies, which are also adorable, seem to have pockets so the animators had no reason to not just stuff it in one. It would’ve made their job harder yes.. but then don’t have marco use an excuse that directly requires it then and draws attention to the fact the wand is missing, and the fact you blatantly just hoped we’d forget about it as it’d ruin the climax. 

It’s far from the worst thing in this episode..trust me we’re almost there. But this does bring me to a point.. so far the episode is GOOD. The comedy’s good, the setup for what’s about to happen is good, the holdiay setting is warm and inviting but weird enough to perfectly fit mewni, and River, much like his VA and homosexual talking boat portrayer Alan Tudyuk, is a national treasure as always. Whelp it’s all down hill from here bitches! Giddyup. 

So Marco announces a SUPRISE PARTY! And everyone’s there: Tom, Kelly, Ponyhead, Starfan14... oh yeah this is the first ep i’ve coverd with Starfan14 isn’t it? Starfan14 is star’s insane fangirl, voiced by series creator Derfron Nercy herself, who star happily tolerates despite clearly wanting to wear her skin. We’ve all been there. Also Jackie is transparently missing, though at least it’s SOMEWHAT reasonable as she and marco broke up a few .. months ago? I mean it is winter on mewni for this episode but the end of season 4 and the series is set at the start of summer, yet months still pass..... 

Confusing timeline aside, Jackie has every reason not to attend a party thrown by her ex for the girl who confesed she had feelings for said ex and it’s probably the only good decision Marco makes this entire episode that he wisely decided to give Jackie some space. And it says something a decision made entirely off screen that was probably because the creators genuinely forgot Jackie once she was out of the way so they could shift the love triangle stuff to Tom, Star and Marco instead of you know.. not doing that because most love triangles are annoying at best and utterly insufferable at worst. Case in point this episode but I can give out more about this aspect of things in a bit with more context. 

And to his credit, and as Jess backed me up on, Marco’s gesture is genuinely throughtful.. at least to start with. He got her a choclate fountain, brought all of her friends, and geninely just thought Star never celebrated her birthday on her birthday because it was you know the same day as christmas. As someone whose birthday is a week before christmas, December 16th if you were curious, I understand the pain of having your birthday in the same month as christmas. Of having all your presents clustered at once and of having to manuver around a very stressful season, though it does sometimes have perks like getting to celebrate your birthday and christmas, it also means your birthday is secondary and always will be to most people due to proximity. And Star has hers ON mewman christmas, so it’s even worse. So from Marco’s perspective, TO START, his best friend constantly had to share her birthday with her faviorite holiday and just wanted to do something nice. SO FAR, he’s done nothing wrong and just means well. That’s... about to end.  Star.. instead of being greatful.. starts muttering no before going on an manic rampage and destroying everything including hte band’s insturments. And apparnetly star’s gotten some flack for her behavior.. but I understand it. To her the stump is VERY real, and will be very angry if someone else celebrates so to her all she’s doing is saving her best friend from the holiday equilvent of the trees from evil dead, and when Marco asks about it she GENUINELY is sorry, getting he meant well, that he was being sweet, and that he did a lot of nice stuff for her.. she just can’t celebrate not because she loves the holiday but because again, from her persepctive, the stump will kill them all if they don’t support it. She is genuinly affraid for her friends lives and given she could go grab her wand and fight it, clearly thinks she, with all her CONSIDERABLE powers, cannot win this, and neither can tom whose powers are almost entirely fire based. Star is just trying to protect her friends from being horribly murdered. And she turns out to be entirely right about it so no, star was not a jerk here. A bit over the top, but she was not insensitive, she was not mean, she just didn’t want a party for understandable reasons.

So let’s get to actually insensitive shall we?! Marco’s reaction to this is at first confusion as he didn’t realize the stump was real, though Tom, Kelly and Pony are convinced it’s not. Also this episode implies Kelly is from mewni, but she turns out not to be so why she knows about the stump I genuinely don’t know. They think it’s just a baby thing.. though in Tom’s defense he dosen’t phrase it that way, thinks star still beliving is cute, which for a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend belivies in santa is very sweet and mature of him, and is trying to be nice about it even if he doesn’t believe.  But Marco.. his response to his friend having a good reason for not wanting to have the party.. is to complain about how much effort he put into it and try to guilt and bribe her into having it by mentoining he got her faviorite cake flavor, rainbow. Just.. WOW. I’ve seen some bad turns from characters, but WOWWWWWW. Holy shit.. I mean at least other jerkass marco episodes before this had SOME reasoning to them. Sophmore Slump had him clearly sublimating his feelings for star combined with the usual obnoxiousness of someone having gone abroard for the first time, which as Letterkenny recently went into, the only thing worse is Stillborn Puppies. Nothing else. 

And with Lint Catcher while he was presumptive and not blameless.. river still outright lied to him. Here? It’s clear star dosen’t want this, cake can be refigirated, he only takes a loss on the choclate fountain and he could still just let everyone have some and say it’s for stump day to appease her. He dosen’t have to take a loss on this finacially or morally and there would be no harm done. But that’s.. not what HE wanted, not waht HE set up and he wants what HE wanted, which was to impress star with a thoughtful gesture. But that’s the thing bud: Gestures aren’t about you or what you get. Their about doint something nice for another fucking person. It’s the whole point of christmas and birthdays: To just give someone something to be ncie and to celebrate the day and them respectively. If she dosen’t WANT your gift for understandable reasons and isn’t being rude about it you don’t have any leg to stand on you seflish twatwaffle. 

So already Marco is not coming off well.. and if you know this episode you know it gets worse. Oh god it gets worse. So first PONYHEAD of all people calls out Marco.. and for once, PONYHEAD, the most selfish, most unresonable and a character whose tolerablity varies on the episode, tells him he’s being selfish and is only pressing on because of his need to control things. So not only is Ponyhead right but the episode LIKELY wants you to feel she’s wrong because she’s pony which is not how this work as she knows star well and thus, while unaware she still belivied in the stump, which tracks as while it’s obvious she does Pony is so up her own whatever she has that functions as an ass, it’s understandable she’d miss some details. So no Pony’s right, and the fact PONY is one of the more resonable people in this episode is both a sign of the apocalypse, which is thankfully starting to recede, and a clear marker of just how bad Marco’s being if someone who torments him and disagrees with him out of principal is entirely right. 

Oh but it gets worse as next up, Tom steps in and tries to get Marco to back out, admitting he told him this was a bad idea. Now granted Tom did mess up by not stepping in to stop this a bit.. but he A) didn’t know how much his girlfriend genuinely belivied in the stump and B) Probably assumed Marco meant well, as would I before he whined about not getting his way, and decided it was worth a try. So he’s not that bad, and while it is a bit ehhh to try and take back credit for this when he participated, it’s still minor and Marco is still being a huge dick who refuses to help shut things down when it’s clear the party is only causing star to have a panic attack and assault some humble marachi players. He sees nothing good is coming from this and just wants what star wants. Also it paints Marco in a worse light as he was warned about this, and was so obssed with making it a suprise party because that’s how his plan went, he refused to just.. talk to her about it. Hell he could’ve just casually asked “Why do you never celebrate your birthday on your birthday”. It’s an easy question, dosen’t give the game away and allows him to gage if this is a good idea or not BEFORE baking a cake , hiring a band and getting a chocolate fountain. Instead he just went ahead with it.  And he did so.. because this ISN’T about making Star happy. This is abotu HIM making star happy. Him showing her how thoughtful, and considerate and sweet he is and how he’s always been there for her and how maybe she should be with him instead of Tom. I mean it just comes off that way.. he made it a suprise party because in his head that’s how it worked and she was super impresed and left tom that day to be with him in some elaborate fantasy. Granted the episode dosen’t say this.. but it sure as hell acccidently implies hte hell out of it by having marco act like a selfish ass who refuses to take what STAR wants into consideration, and just wants to get his fantasy back on track. What supports this to me is how he treats tom, you know one of his best friends: He, again, accuses him of forgetting.. then calls him a bad boyfriend.. a bad boyfriend for NOT wanting to force a celebration on his girlfriend she does not want, and for not forcing it on her. For you know GROWING AS A PERSON.  Beacuse here’s the pickle pumpernickle: This thing Marco’s doing? Is exactly the kind of thing a pre-character development TOM did, that was rightfully framed as bad. Being controlling, wanting things to go JUST a certain way instead of letting them flow naturally, not getting the hint star isn’t intrested, and not caring about what she wants and only what you want. Marco is doing the same thing Tom used to do. And for starters i’ts already bad because you know MARCO WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY GOT IT THROUGH TO TOM THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WAS TOXIC AND SELFISH. But apparently when it’s Marco himself doing it it’s fine. If there was ever any clear evidence Marco regressed as a character, there it is.  Him actively unelarning a lesson he taught someone else and then getting combative when that person rightly tries to call him out. Marco is just insufferable in this episode: He’s being selfish, creepy and posseive and he’s apparenlty supposed to, at least on some level BE RIGHT.  But.. we will get to that. Consider a pin put in this rant. 

So Tom overreacts, and throws some fire at marco, which is genuinely wrong and Kelly’s right to call him out, and then headlocks him asking marco to say he’s a good boyfriend. Marco screams out ‘NEVVVEEEERRRR”

I just made this, by hapinstance, while watching the video I put up there. I.. I did not think i’d get to use this so soon but my god. Just my god that’s a terrible thing to say.  So the party soon breaks down elsewhere as Kelly is mad at tom for.. understandable reasons again the guy she has a crush on was just nearly set on fire, even if i’m still on Tom’s side overall here, it’s still not right. Janna points out it’s probably because she has a crush on marco, which while acurate dosen’t mean she was wrong and Tad pops out to be upset about that. Even though you know you two are broken up and as Kelly points out he needs to move out. Pony is mad she’s not getting any attention and Starfan is mad because star’s mad. Star results to desperate measures, opening the windows to try and repeate the act of the settlers.  She didn’t however count on the Janna factor as she throws the stump in the fire, which is in chracter. What’s not, and again I give Jess full credit for this one, is that everyone just starts.. warming around the stump and not caring like a bunch of jackasses not caring about their close friend, and in tom’s case, girlfriend’s feelings. Also tom and marco apparently stopped fighting just to be this stupid. 

But naturally burning the symbolic stump is a bad idea and the real one attacks. Protip: If you live in a world of magical nonsense, maybe don’t discount the magic stump. Everyone’s captured, including moon and river, with River also being suprised and replying to Star’s annoyance at him not beliving with “Sweetie it’s a stump!”. Alan Tudyk is a god and I feel you all should acknowleddge that. But yeah everything seemsm to be bad but everyone apologizes, if not for the right things in Marco’s case, and Tom says “I’m sorry i’m a bad boyfriend!”. You .. you aren’t. You did nothing wrong. I feel like this is tom for the last agrivating 6 minutes of the episode

He did SOME THINGS wrong but he is NOT a bad boyfriend. He is throughtful, kind and while he has flaws, SO DOES STAR. He is not a bad boyfriend for not wanting to repeat past abusive actions! GAH. Let’s just get on with it. They all hold hands, they thiunk this is what made the stump go away but Star is sure it was just going to kill them, Moon and River have a thousand yard stare as they realize they both have to get repairs for this room now and do an extra big stump day next year to make sure it dosen’t come back. And Marco apologizes to star.. for not beliving her. Not for forcing this on her, not for causing all of this, not at all to tom, but for not beliving her while star FUCKING APOLOGIZES TO HIM.  Pin removed, bullshit falling to the floor... Trunks if you would. 

Thank you. Star DID NOTHING WRONG. Tom DID LESS WRONG THAN MARCO. WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIZING. Why is this little shithead getting everything he wants as the party happens after all, if a day later, and he gets to dance with star, while everyone else is painted as being in the wrong? That’s what makes this special so putrid: that MARCO is apparently in the right for doing the same , if on a smaller scale, manipulative shit tom used to do before he grew as a person, yet the episode sides with him, props him up and teases Starco. If it’s Starco it’s okay apparently and that’s.. not okay. You can’t .. build a ship on a character acting like a jackass. That’s not how this works. Marco was wrong, he was bad and he should FEEL bad. Instead he’s just a creepy jerk this entire episode, being entitled, manipulating star, screaming at tom.. and gets REWARDED FOR IT. Fuck this episode. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: I believe I said Fuck this episode.  This is easily one of star vs’ worst episode and much like the season after this episode it gets worse the more you think about it. I put it on my worst holiday episodes list for a reason.. and frankly even with the decent first 4 mintues it should be higher. It’s an unplesant mess that throughly ruins Marco’s character and takes him from a kind, upstanding, polite and bright young man to a creepy manpiulative jackasss. Fuck this episode and have a happy holidays. 

[achubbydumpling]

[unfinished] Pile It On

Rating: Explicit

Words: 1561

Relationship: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Not underage, Fat camp, Stuffing, Weight Gain, Fat!Bucky

So, I had a great conversation with @wotvagyok about my fat camp AU Bucky and what might've led to Bucky breaking a bed like I mentioned in this ficlet. Thanks for the inspiration!

(I'm sorry, I can't think anymore right now. I'll fill in the spaces tomorrow, but if I don't publish this right now I'll probably not finish this challenge at all.)

“Team Cap sets up their attack, Wanda touches, high ark to Wilson, Rogers is probably their best chance at winning… but, no, Wilson sets for Barnes, is that the right decision? Let’s see if he can even get off the ground to—Barnes kills it! Stark can’t block that and with that his team is out! 21-19! A neck-and-neck race all the way. Congratulations, Team Cap!” Thor excitedly commentates jumping up from the beach.

The entire team piled onto Bucky to hug him and scream in his ear. Steve gave him a very bro-hug, grinning wide and shouting at Bucky.

“That jump was insane!” Steve yelled at him again.

“You’ve said that.” Bucky’s cheeks ached from how much he was smiling.

“I know!” Steve said in the same tone of voice, then squeezed Bucky tightly one last time and quietly added, “See you after lunch” with pointedly raised eyebrows, like Bucky wouldn’t immediately get what he was hinting at.

Read on AO3

They’d worked out a pretty good system over the past few summers. Plus, Bucky knew that quiet tone of voice all too well and Steve basically saying out loud that he’d sneak away to Bucky’s cabin in his lunch break? For a second everything outside of those words and Steve’s body pressed against him faded away.

However, the chatter of all the other campers came crashing back into Bucky’s consciousness when Steve turned away and started directing the other campers to the dining hall like he didn’t just—

Breathe, Barnes, he chastised himself and made his (very sore) legs to the dining hall. Scarf down the bland food, charm (beg) his way into seconds, head to the cabin and eat whatever Steve stashed there during his morning “contraband” sweep.

[...]

“Yeah, to make sure no one would find everything. Why didn’t you check the top bunk?”

“It says on the bed post the top bunk is only rated for 300 pounds?”

“Oh. Well, you don’t weigh that much more.”

“Yeah, just like 100 pounds.” Another cramp from his overstuffed belly forced a groan out of him. “Feels like double that right now.” Steve quirked his eyebrow and flicked his eyes at the ladder to the top bunk. Steve’s blue eyes darkened with the fantasy he was clearly playing out in his head right now. The air punched out of Bucky’s lungs.

“What if I break it?” he whispered. He couldn’t force himself to speak up. This— Sure, a flimsy chair had broken under the weight he’d piled on, but a bed? He’d have to tell someone. A sickeningly hot twist of pleasure raced down his spine. He’d have to admit out loud—

“Go on,” Steve interrupted his thought process, pushing Bucky to say that out loud.

“I’d— Fuck, I’d have to tell a counsellor. They’d probably take me to see Fury.” Steve swallowed drily.

“Why would they take you to the director?” Steve’s hands were clenched in fists on Bucky’s gut, belly rub forgotten for the moment.

“Get me weighed.” Steve nodded encouragingly, whispering “Why?”

“If I broke it now— Must’ve gained weight.” Bucky whined low in his throat and grabbed uselessly at the expanse of his belly before him.

“You’ve been here three weeks, you really should’ve lost some weight by now.” Steve pushed himself up from where he was sitting next to Bucky and straddled him. He pushed both his hands into the fat overhang spilling over his waistband and heaved Bucky’s belly up. Muscles and tendons working in his forearms.

“But I can barely lift this thing up.” Steve teased, then let go, letting all the fat slap back onto Bucky’s legs. That jostled his overstuffed gut so badly, Bucky wanted to curl into himself, but he was effectively immobilized by the weight of his gluttony.

The heat of his humiliation sparked his arousal like tinder. He was achingly hard. Trapped against his own fat. Twitching. Trying to rut into that friction. Steve shoved his hand between his fat pad and the fat hanging over it to blindly grab for his dick. When he found that bit of hardness, he squeezed. Tight.

“Not yet. You eat what I give you.” Bucky screwed his eyes shut and shook his head.

“Can’t,” he whined, shook his head again. Steve’s unyielding grip kept Bucky from coming all over himself at just imagining himself crawling up there and eating even more.

“Yes.” The command pierced through Bucky’s middle, making him squirm.

[...]

Dry heat raced through his core, having him press his hand over his dick. He was riding that edge so violently he felt like he should be coming all over his own fingers, but his briefs were still only stained by that spot of precum.

“Oh, fuck, get down here. You just— Bucky!” Steve was scrambling at his back, helping him back down the ladder. Once he was firmly back on the floor, Steve plunged his hand into Bucky’s briefs. Mouth on his neck. Other hand on Bucky’s sweat-slicked sides.

Steve jerked him fast and inelegantly, but Bucky didn’t care in that moment. Too consumed by the realisation that he’d gained enough weight to break the top bunk without even putting his full weight on it. Steve gasping, “you cracked the slats,” finally got him over the edge. Coming over Steve’s hands in his brief.

Bucky’s knees finally buckled under him, and Steve manoeuvred him to lie back down on the bottom bunk, which he was also rapidly outgrowing with the amount of calories he was consuming daily. Bucky was still caught up in the afterglow to help Steve much with getting off. He just felt bone-deep tired.

Steve was standing in front of the bed, one arm propped against the frame and resting his forehead against it. Bucky felt impossibly fatter when he let his head fall forward to look at Steve. He could feel his double-chin bunching up around his neck. His body taking up half his field of view.

Bucky couldn’t even see Steve’s hand on his dick, just the repetitive movement of his arm. The way the muscles moved, his right pec flexed and relaxed again and again. His whole body slightly jerking every time he fucked his hips up into his own fist. The bitten-off moans on his lips. All that over Bucky. The milky soft mountain of fat sitting on his upper body. The solid mass of food rounding out his stomach.

Steve’s forehead slipped off his arm and he just let his head hang for a moment. Then snapped up and locked eyes with Bucky. His pupils blown wide, lips bitten raw and coming over his own hand and torso.

Something fluttered and clenched when Steve climbed slowly onto the bed, wiped them both down with Bucky’s discarded shirt and tucked himself into Bucky’s side.

Bucky’s head reeled with a sudden realisation.

“What are we going to do about the bed?” Instead of answering Steve curled further into himself and hummed noncommittally.

“Hey, I’m serious. I don’t want to get kicked out.”

“Slat’s barely cracked, ‘ll tell Fury after end-of-summer check-in. They’re not gonna kick you out.”

“Maybe not, but I don’t think they’ll let me back in next year.” Bucky rubbed at the back of his head. “Maybe you could—I don’t know—come up to my place or something.”

Steve opened his eyes again but didn’t look at Bucky. Instead, he started playing with a loose thread on the comforter.

“One more summer. Then I’ll—” Bucky sighed, his hand found its way into Steve’s hair.

“I know. I know. Degree, then job. Wherever that takes you. Just thought it’d be— We’d have more than like an hour and a handful of moments to enjoy… this.” Bucky gestured very specifically to his middle and did not think about what else he’d like Steve to want. “What if they won’t let me come back next summer? Don’t really think I qualify for the asthma camp across the lake.”

“Fury’s determined to help everyone lose weight and Stark’s stubborn as hell.”

“They’ve failed three years in a row. This time pretty hard. Y’know after breaking camp property because I gainedweight while being here.” Steve stayed quiet for a long moment. They’d had this conversation a few too many times for them not to know all the arguments by now.

“You don’t think the sneaking around’s kinda fun?” Bucky just wanted to sighed. He felt the urge to shake Steve and make him see that Bucky was in this for a whole lot more than sneaking around to fuck like high schoolers.

“Speaking of your time’s up.” Bucky felt Steve moving up, about to lie down on Bucky’s chest and say those familiar words, “just five more minutes, Buck” but when Bucky kept his eyes firmly trained straights ahead the words died in his throat. Steve sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, then pushed himself up with a deep breath.

“Do you want anything special for tomorrow?” Bucky shrugged. His eyes suddenly felt to heavy to keep them open.

“Surprise me.” A barren olive branch.

Steve disappeared into the bathroom and Bucky finally let the sigh, that had been trapped against his chest, out. He stayed on the bed with his eyes closed until Steve padded out of the bathroom, across the cabin and pushed the squeaky door handle down.

“One more summer.”

[stufftippywrote]

day off

22: “You make me so happy.” From this prompt list...

Lan Wangji is not a perfect soul.

He knows his own reputation. To others, he is a lake of glass: unwavering, unmoving, still and perfect against the travails of life. More than anything, he has mastered his own body. His movements, his expressions are precise. Not an eyelash out of place; barely a twitch of his lips, sometimes, when he is stirred by emotion. He is snowfall on a mountaintop: always constant, always undisturbed.

But beneath the snowfall, beneath the glass, turmoil.

Less so today than before: before there was distress, urgency, fear of losing what he'd only so recently regained. Now, for the most part, there is peace and joy. But what remains, still, is doubt.

Wei Ying loves him. That in itself should solve every problem, open every door. He is able to take this man who captured his heart a lifetime ago and hold him, touch him, speak with him every day. Where the frost had seeped into Lan Wangji's heart, Wei Ying has melted it, and every day now it is springtime: tender, beautiful, full of life and possibility.

But spring is also fleeting, and sometimes Lan Wangji wonders.

Can someone like Wei Ying truly be happy, passing his days in Cloud Recesses?

Can he spend his days in a place of four thousand rules, bound to the same surroundings every day, teaching the same students, bound to the same room, the same man, the same bed? Should Wei Ying be living a freer life than Lan Wangji can give him? Shouldn't he be running on rainbows to the seven corners of the earth, helping the downtrodden and winning hearts as he goes, turning the legend of the Yiling Patriarch into a story of redemption and heroism? Sometimes it seems a shame, even to Lan Wangji, that he stays here.

But stay here he does, save nighthunts to and fro with the others and occasional jaunts down the mountain just because. He never complains when Lan Wangji joins him. There is no doubt there; Lan Wangji can be sure, at the very least, that Wei Ying truly loves him.

But is loving him enough to keep him happy?

This morning, he fears it is not.

They're having breakfast. Wei Ying pokes at his rice unhappily, not eating very much, which is always a troubling sign. The never troubled, always glad face of Wei Ying is pinched with some discontent. Perhaps it is as he fears. He fumbles for a way to cheer him. "Wei Ying," he says, unsure, "Do you want to take a trip?"

Wei Ying shakes his head and stares balefully at the plate of vegetables before him. "No," he says, "not really."

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing," Wei Ying says automatically, and then sighs. "Maybe I had a bad dream."

"Maybe?" And maybe that's all it is, but Lan Wangji can't see that look on Wei Ying's face without thinking there's something more. "What will you do today?"

Wei Ying gestures vaguely to his writing-desk in the corner. "I suppose I'll probably work some more on the energy map I've been developing," he says. "Then I guess I'll do some meditation, try to get this weak little core of mine a bit more bulked up. Or maybe I'll just take the day off.”  He lets out another, resigned sigh. "It's really useless, Lan Zhan. I'm never going to be what I was."

"You will, in time," Lan Wangji starts to say, then falls silent. His words must be so little comfort to Wei Ying, who has been trying to improve on the weakness of Mo Xuanyu's golden core for months now. Lan Wangji had encouraged him, seeing it as the obvious path to take, trying to cultivate back to his former self. But perhaps it is more frustrating, and less satisfying, than he had anticipated. Perhaps it's only holding him back.

This place, these Cloud Recesses, are such an ideal place for cultivation. But if cultivation isn't what Wei Ying desires -- if being here isn't what he desires -- Lan Wangji has no right to hold him back.

He coughs softly.

Wei Ying blinks at him. "What?"

"If you want to travel," Lan Wangji says, carefully as always, "you should travel."

"What's with asking me about traveling?" Wei Ying half-smiles. "Are you trying to get rid of me, Lan Zhan?"

"No." But he must qualify that answer as well; he must make sure Wei Ying feels free. "But if you wish to go..."

"I don't." Wei Ying picks up a radish slice with chopsticks and crunches down on it decisively. "I'm not sure why you think I do."

Lan Wangji is ashamed. He seems to have incurred Wei Ying's irritation. He's fouled this up, when his only intention has been to let Wei Ying know he is free to pursue his dreams wherever they may lead him. He is silent, placing his chopsticks down on the table and staring expressionlessly at his meal. He shouldn't be speaking while eating anyway.

Wei Ying leans back and gazes at him for a long moment. "Lan Zhan," he says hesitantly, "why are you so sure all of a sudden that I want to go?"

The shame doesn't show on his face, but Lan Wangji feels it acutely. "I want Wei Ying to be happy," he says.

"But I'm happy!" Wei Ying laughs, but it's not the full, open-throated laugh that Lan Wangji is used to. There's something strained in his smile.

"You did not seem so," he points out.

The smile fades as quickly as it appears. Wei Ying crosses his arms. "I really did have a bad dream," he says, the consonants of his speech sharp as he rasps over them. "I'm always going to have bad dreams. It's the curse of the Yiling Patriarch. I have too many regrets to always sleep soundly. And the cultivation does get me down, I won't lie. I feel as though you're still waiting for me to become something I'm not."

"I'm not," Lan Wangji speaks as swiftly as he can. "If you no longer wish to cultivate, then stop."

"I don't want to stop, necessarily," Wei Ying says. "I want to live a long life with you. But I can't say I'm going to be successful at it, even with time. And I don't want you to settle."

"I want Wei Ying just as he is." The words can't rush from his mouth fast enough, but with them comes regret -- are these words binding cords? Do they trap Wei Ying in an existence that is not his ideal? "I fear you are settling."

Wei Ying looks at him a long time without speaking. Lan Wangji feels that gaze boring into him, like a pike being driven through his chest. Wei Ying's mind works fast, and in ways Lan Wangji often cannot follow. Who knows what he's thinking right now.

And then, like a bright rush of sunshine, that laugh. Full-voiced now, sounds flying into the air like a flock of birds, noisy and raucous and everything that is good. "I see," he says. "I see now. Oh, Lan Zhan, I thought I had the market cornered on self-torture, but you are good at it too, when you are given too much time to think." He takes one of Lan Wangji's hands into his own, nimble fingers caressing his skin. A blessed touch. "I'm happy here," he says. "I'm not sure how you decided otherwise, but I promise I am."

"Why?" Lan Wangji asks.

"Why what?"

"Why are you happy here?" The question seems to Lan Wangji to be an obvious one, but Wei Ying looks at him as though he's speaking in an alien tongue. "What about this place makes you happy?"

"What doesn't?" Wei Ying counters. "The scenery, being close to A-Yuan and the others, a truly insane number of books I can look through in my work, the back hill, the waterfall..."

"The rules?" Lan Wangji asks. "The food?"

"See, now you're just picking the things you know I'm not fond of." Wei Ying props his chin up on his free hand and gazes at Lan Wangji across the table. "You're forgetting something very important."

Lan Wangji blinks. What has he not accounted for? "Something important?"

Wei Ying sighs. He drops his chopsticks, stands up, and rounds the small table, planting himself awkwardly in Lan Wangji's lap. The crush of his weight and the sweet smell of him, all of a sudden everywhere, and Lan Wangji's impulse is to clutch on tightly. He wills his hands to remain still.

"You," Wei Ying says. "You're forgetting about you."

"Me?" It's not as though Lan Wangji doubted, but he hadn't considered... he hadn't thought he was enough to tip the scales.

"You. You make me happy, Lan Zhan. You make me so happy." Wei Ying kisses his jaw, caresses his face with a hand. "Don't you know that?"

Lan Wangji is silent. Wei Ying's words are echoing in his ears. You make me so happy. How could he? He tries, but how could he really when Wei Ying's heart is big enough to embrace an entire universe?

Wei Ying buries a laugh in Lan Wangji's shoulder. "Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan," he berates, "it's you who's settling! Look at me, so weak, determined to keep my wicked ways. You'll never make a proper cultivator out of me, no matter how long and how hard you try. Aren't I the very picture of disappointment? It's a wonder you can keep me around."

"Stop." Lan Wangji scowls. "Stop. Don't say these things."

"Do they sound ridiculous to you? Do you see now how you sound to me?" Wei Ying winds his arms around Lan Wangji's neck. "I'm not leaving you, Lan Zhan. You couldn't kick me out with a whole army of little Lans behind you. So you might as well stop trying."

Lan Wangji is a little embarrassed. He had been so worried about Wei Ying's ill temper and so lost in his own imaginings that he'd concocted a whole universe of discontent. He lifts a hand and tangles it in Wei Ying's hair, savoring the feel of soft silk against his fingers. "Wei Ying makes me happy, too," he says.  "So very happy."

Wei Ying leans in and dots a kiss onto his lips, small and perfect. "So you'll give up then on telling me to go away?"

"Mn." For the first time this morning, he feels tethered again, sure of himself.

"And if I ever do want to go somewhere," Wei Ying says, "I want you to come with me."

"Anywhere Wei Ying wants to go."

"How about lunch in town, then?" Wei Ying lifts one of Lan Wangji's chopsticks from the table and pokes at the pile of withered vegetables. "Because as happy as I am, breakfast is not one of Cloud Recesses' high points."

"Mn. Lunch." There it is, that sense of sureness, that gentle delight that he's so used to feeling in Wei Ying's presence. He'd lost sight of it, somehow, but it's back and Wei Ying loves him and Wei Ying wants to stay with him and he needs nothing else in the entire universe. "Wherever you like."

"And I still intend to cultivate," Wei Ying says. "But perhaps, just this once, I'll take a day off." Lan Wangji nods. "Maybe I can convince you to dally with me a few hours in town? Unless you have terribly important lessons to impart and terribly important papers to grade."

"Nothing terribly important."  He lets his lips turn up in just that way that only Wei Ying gets to see.

"Good, then I'm skipping the rest of breakfast."

Lan Wangji frowns. "Don't waste food."

Wei Ying claps his hands. "Oh, there you are, Lan Zhan! I had thought you'd gone missing for  second."

He crawls out of Lan Wangji's lap and back onto his side of the table. They finish breakfast in pleasant silence, sunlight streaming in through the window. It's the perfect time to take a day off.

[taetaespeaches]

“I don’t know where we go from here, Dear.”

jimin x reader (or oc) genre: fluff; angst word count: 1.8K

a/n: the time has come... JIMIN IS GETTING HIS GIRL BACK!!! This is the first time they see each other after he shows up at Dear’s place in, “Yeah, I’m drunk. And you’re wearing my t-shirt and I fucking love you.” So yeah, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!!! 

p.s. This is sorta kinda inspired by “Until the Sun Comes Up” by Gabrielle Aplin. So yeah, do with that what you will. 

YOUR hand was nearly shaking as you adjusted your seatbelt across your body. The last time you saw Jimin was a week ago when he came to apartment looking for a way to go back in time. When he asked to see you, you expected a simple dinner date or a walk along the Han River, but you had been sitting in the car for over thirty minutes now and the city was beginning to disappear behind you.

“I haven’t been this nervous since our first date,” Jimin admitted shyly, you looking across the cab at him. “Or that whole time between, you know, our first time and first date.”

You couldn’t help the grin that formed on your lips at his admission as well as the memory of how shy he was for those two days between the first hook up and first date. You were both nervous, but he was more obviously so. At least for a little while.

You went from friends to lovers overnight. It was hard to even remember what you and Jimin looked like before the extra label was added to your relationship. It was even harder to comprehend what you looked like now.

“I was nervous too,” you told him, Jimin taking a quick glance from the road to you, obviously surprised. “And now.”  

“Really?”

“Of course,” you smiled. “I just hide it better.” You hid a lot of things better. Your love and your heartbreak for starters.

A tense quiet settled inside the car, the low hum of Jimin’s music buzzing throughout the cab. You let the silence persist as you turned your attention to the window as Jimin drove you both to an unknown destination.

It was a little over a month ago that Jimin broke up with you over a text. It was so unlike Jimin it scared you into action before you could even take in the purpose of the text. You desperately called him but every effort went to voicemail. After a text to Taehyung to have him check on your boyfriend, and Tae assuring you he was ok considering the circumstance, you got angry. And you refused to speak to the man until he showed up at your apartment drunk, sad, regretful, and desperate.

For weeks you wanted to blame him for the whole thing. But you knew you were to blame as well. You had been pushing him away for months before the breakup, letting your own personal struggles affect your relationship. You didn’t want to push him away, but how do you simply let another person into the fucked up hell space that is your mind? You had never before wanted a person so badly during those months as you wanted Jimin, but it was like you couldn’t, or wouldn’t, allow yourself to reach out for him. And that made him feel very insecure and unsure. He felt unloved.

As Jimin drove further and further from Seoul, completely losing the city skyline, you turned to him in confusion.

“Where are we going?” You asked, turning to look at him.

“Away,” he grinned cheekily.

You let a small chuckle slip as you looked at the road ahead of you. “Away where?”

“Away from ourselves.”

You looked back at him in response to his words. You scrutinized his face as he stared ahead, eyes focused on the road but his mind wandering through a million loud thoughts. “There you are being a poet again,” you teased, Jimin’s lips quirking into an amused smile.

You slowly looked away from him, staring ahead, waiting to see the final destination for your date or whatever it’s called when your ex-boyfriend/best friend takes you out of the city in his bid to win you back.

Several minutes passed in silence before Jimin called to you gently, “Dear?”

You hummed, looking over at him, the pet name sounding so natural coming from him.

“Do you think people have to be ok before they can give themselves to someone else?”

The question should have taken you by surprise but you knew Jimin well enough to know he often had these deeply personal and sometimes troublesome questions swimming around his mind.

You thought for a moment before shaking your head. “No,” you started, Jimin looking from the road just for a small moment to peer at your face. “I’ve started thinking lately that if you’re lucky enough to have someone and its real, you have to give yourself to them even if you’re not ok.”

He forced a small smile though his eyes became glassy in the dashboard light. “I’m not ok.”

You nodded in understanding, keeping your gaze on him as his face became less clear through the tears that gathered along your lower eyelid. “Yeah, me too.” He looked over at you to see you beginning to cry and his face scrunched up as his own tears increased. “Jimin,” you whimpered.

When he sniffled you reached out to touch his forearm. “I fucked up, I kept pushing you away—”

He adamantly shook his head, telling you, “no, no, this is on me—”

“No, you needed me. And Jimin, I needed you, fuck, I wanted you, I just couldn’t—”

When a sob wracked through your body into the otherwise quiet car, Jimin quickly pulled over to the side of the road as an oncoming car sped by you.

“Dear,” he started, turning to you and pulling your hands from your face where you were wiping tears, simply holding them. “I broke up with you over a text.” He didn’t say anything more, letting his words sink in as proof to why the whole situation was his fault. You both knew he wasn’t the only one to blame, but at this point, did it even matter?

“Why did you send the text?” You asked him through your tears.

“I don’t—I don’t even know, baby, it’s—I get so insecure sometimes and I was driving myself insane on tour thinking about you and whether you love me and I just—I get so scared sometimes that you’ll just walk away.”

“I could never just walk away,” you told him defensively, but also to assure him. “I hate that I made you feel so insecure and unloved because I just love you more than anything and I should have been pouring all of that love into you.” Tears fell down Jimin’s face at your words as his hands squeezed yours tighter. “It’s going to take a while for me to forgive myself for that. A lot longer than it’s gonna take for me to forgive you.”

“Can you forgive me?” He posed, looking into your glistening eyes with his own.

“You know I can,” you whispered. “But can you forgive me?”

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his eyes scanned your face. Then he brought your hand to his lips and feathered kisses to your knuckles. “I already have,” he mumbled against your hand.

Fresh tears burst from your eyes at his confession, Jimin gently placing your hands on the console just before they met your face, gently wiping your cheeks with his palms. You leaned into his touch, bringing your hands to grab his wrists.

“I don’t know where we go from here, Dear,” he softly admitted. “But you were my best friend before all the extra and I’m not giving up on us.” He paused for a moment, both of you watching each other carefully. “Even if you want to go back to just friends.”

You scoffed at the statement, Jimin pulling his eyebrows together in confusion to the sound. “Chim, we were never just friends. I don’t want to go back, I want to fix this.”

Jimin let a small smile greet his lips, the sight making you return a small one of your own. You leaned forward, dropping your head to his shoulder as his arm wrapped around your upper back, his hand finding your tricep. His palm and fingers soothed over the muscle as he told you, “We should probably get back on the road, we still have like an hour until we get there.”

“Jesus, did Taehyung show you some spot out here or something?” You asked, though you didn’t dare lift your head to look at him, afraid of losing his touch.

Jimin giggled. “Yeah, he did actually.” You fell into laughter, Jimin laughing with you as he shifted his position, his hand finding your chin and directing you to sit up and look at him.

“I don’t want to drive anymore, I just want to be here with you,” you told him and his thumb gently ran along your jaw. “Wherever we are right now, I just want to exist here with you and lose ourselves or whatever you said earlier in your poetry recital.”  

He flashed you a stunning smile and nodded. “Ok, but,” he started, craning his body to reach for something in the backseat, “do you still,” he sat back in his seat holding a couple of long thin plastic packages up for you to see, “want to play with these?”

You reached for the packages in realization. “Oh my god,” you giggled, inspecting the sparklers. “Of course I do.”

Within a matter of seconds, you and Jimin were out in the cool air as Jimin used a lighter to ignite the ends of your sparklers. As they fizzled with sparks, you both backed away and began waving them around.

You were spinning and laughing as Jimin giggled and drew shapes. Several cars drove past but neither of you took notice. He gave several attempts to spell your name before the sparks faded out, but he could never complete the word in time, letting out yells of playful frustration.

It felt like a dream, and he was burning so brightly in the night air, carefree for the first time in months. He was beautiful.  

By the time the sparklers burned out, you were both breathless, standing a few feet from one another, staring at each other. He walked toward you and when he was close enough, you gripped the material of his shirt and pulled him to you. Wrapping your arms around his waist, his secured themselves around the back of your head.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, but it was the closest you felt to him in months, and him you, and neither of you wanted to let go of that. Only time would tell how long it would take for things to feel normal, or whether normal was even a possibility. Maybe a new normal was in the making.

All you were certain of was you were willing to travel through the unknown, as long as he was by your side. And you weren’t letting go of the night. Not until the sun came up.