#<- don’t even worry about that
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how big does my philosopher king’s enclosure need to be to stop him turning evil. asking for a friend
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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…..another time travel episode or something?? idk
#where are they? idk i just slapped on a bg don’t even worry about it#whats the in universe explanations for why they look exactly alike? don’t even worry about it#weird proportions? don’t even worry about it#star trek tos#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#bones mccoy#doctor mccoy#warlock (1959)#warlock 1959#curley burne#deforest kelley
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i talked about it a little bit already but i have things to say about it. for context, i was born with amniotic band syndrome. the amniotic band wrapped around my left wrist in utero and stunted the growth of my hand. i was born with about half a palm, four nubs for fingers, and a twisted half of a thumb. i can open and close my thumb and pinkie joint like a claw.
yesterday at work i had a shift in the room with 5-10 year old kids. i had my left hand hidden in my sleeve (a bad habit of mine). a kid asked if he could see my hand, and even though internally i was debating running into traffic, i said “sure you can” and showed him my hands. he stared for a moment, looking disturbed, and then said “i don’t want to look at that anymore”. that hurt to hear, but i understand that kids are new to the world and he probably didn’t mean it out of malice. i put my hand away again, told him that it was okay, and that i was just born that way.
he then went on to talk about how he knows a kid with a similar hand to mine and called it “ugly”. i told him that wasn’t a very kind thing to say and that he wouldn’t feel good if someone said that to him, and he replied that no one would say that to him—because he has “normal hands”, and he’s glad he does because otherwise he’d be “ugly”. i tried to talk with him for a bit about how everybody is born differently, but he just started talking about a girl he knows with a “messed up face” and pulled on his face to make it look droopy. i went on some more about how it wasn’t very kind to talk about people that way, but the conversation moved on to something else.
i’ve told my supervisors about it and they’re going to have a talk with his mom. what i wanted to say is this: i’m genuinely not upset with the kid. kids are young and naturally curious, and he clearly simply hasn’t been taught about disabled people and kind ways to speak to/about others. which is why i am upset with his parent(s). i know he’s encountered visibly deformed/disabled people before (he said so himself!), yet his parent(s) clearly haven’t had any kind of discussion with him about proper language and behavior. i knew from birth that some people were just different than others, but my parents still made a point to assert to be kind to and accepting of others. i wonder if adults in his life are the type of people to hush him and usher him away when he points out someone in a wheelchair. that kind of thing doesn’t teach politeness. it tells children that disabled people are an Other than can’t be acknowledged or spoken about; which, to a child, means disability must be something bad.
i’m lucky enough that this was a relatively mild incident, and that i’m a grownup with thicker skin. i’m worried about the other kids he mentioned to me. has he been talking to them this way? when i was a kid, i had other kids scream, cry, and run away at the sight of my hand. or follow me around pointing at me and laughing at me. or tell me i couldn’t do something because i was ugly or incapable or whatever. one time a girl at an arcade climbed to the top of the skeeball machine, pointed at me, and screamed at me to put my hand away and wouldn’t stop crying until she couldn’t see me anymore. another time, a kid saw my hand, screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into my friend’s arms, crying hysterically about how i was scaring her. that second incident made me cry so hard i threw up when i got home. i can kind of laugh it off now, but having people react to me that way as a child is something i’m still getting over. why do you think i have a habit of keeping my hand in my sleeve? it just irritates me to see children that have clearly not been taught basic manners and kindness—their parents Clearly missed something pretty important .
#and for the record i consider my deformity pretty mild. maybe i’m just used to it but things like amniotic band syndrome can turn out a lot#more severe. i rarely even call myself disabled because i don’t feel like the term is applicable to me. i’m more hindered by like#my adhd anxiety depression etc than i am my hand. so for those kids to react that way to what i THINK#is a pretty small thing. makes me worry about people that are more visibly disabled#Kids.That are more visibly disabled
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Okay, you’ve heard of pillow talk and talking someone through getting fucked, but have you considered the beautiful intimacy of someone talking you through dying. Like- you’re bleeding out with your head resting in someone’s lap, and instead of trying to stop the blood or help, they just run their fingers through your hair, maybe lightly touch their fingertips to the edge of the wound, softly telling you that it’s going to be okay. Dying happens to everyone, it’s normal to be a little nervous, but you do it so well and so beautifully. It’s alright to let go. You can relax. I’ll take care of everything, you don’t have to worry your pretty little head. It’s okay if your eyelids get a little heavy, you can go ahead and close them. Or, better yet, I can close them for you, yeah? It’s too much work to do it yourself, I understand — you just have to leave it all to me.
And they hover their blood stained hand over your mouth just to feel your breathing get all slow and shallow, reminding you of all the things you won’t have to worry about. Besides, isn’t this the best way to die? In the arms of someone who’s there through every step of it, whispering sweet nothings, promising that they’ll take such good care of you once you’re gone. Telling you all the things they’re going to do with your body, softly groping you, making sure you feel good and safe in your final moments.
#Hvjdbfjvkgndjssssdfghhhh I am so unwell.#Like- uggghhhhh. The subtle dumbification aspect of it too is part of the appeal#Telling you all abt how you don’t have to worry or even think about anything at all#Maybe they jerk you off or finger you a little as your heart is giving out. As a treat#And then they keep you in their bed or a freezer for the next month or two#it’s like a diary#subbing#domming#t4t nsft#trans nsft#nsft trans#tw necrophillia#autassassinophilia#queer nsft#erotophonophilia
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it’s too bad Nesta drank wine in taverns every night because she wanted to and not because she was force fed wine by her mate to make her memories hazy so he could do horrifying things to her in public because that would’ve been totally ok
#don’t worry the wine and paint were for Feyre’s benefit so it’s fine#Maybe Nesta doesn’t want to remember the war she was a hero in that she never even trained for? But who cares about that#acotar#nesta#nesta archeron#redha posts#not saying the drinking was good but it’s so interesting which actions are harped on constantly and which aren’t based on who does them#locking someone up in a mansion is bad if Tamlin does it to feyre#But not if Rhys does it to nesta#Or even Feyre honestly#hiding her health risk and keeping Nesta away from her isolates the only other person in the night court who cares about her besides Elain
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This is from my au in which Saint and Inv attempt to join Gourmand’s colony, but first they steal some drip the Ancients left behind to try and hide their more unusual traits having learned from experience that most Slugcats find their appearances unnerving.
Saint very much regrets letting Inv “social skills” Enot do the talking.
#rw Saint#rw Gourmand#rw Inv#rw Enot#Let them in they are totally not hiding anything don’t even worry about it#rainworld#rw au#Rw siblings au
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#art block gone at what cost……#terminal velocity#oliver banks#mike crew#tma#radiosoverture#i love them so much there’s got to be someone else who’s an enthusiast about them#Being the rarepair artist I want to see in the world don’t even worry guys
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The power of hotdogs
Danny is running to Gotham to escape the GIW. As he’s running into an alleyway, he crashes into non other than condiment king who proceeds to attack and hits the GIW goons behind him. This absolutely terrifies them due to the fact that their prestigious white clothes will be stained. The fact that he has people running in terror gives Condiment king a giddy feeling so he proceeds to chase them around Gotham.
Thus starts Danny’s constant exploits of running to condiment king when he’s being chased and the rogue scarring the living daylights out of the GIW. They develop nightmares and Condiment king starts developing new concoctions that will specifically stain clothes and never come out. Mwa ha ha!
Eventually, Danny gets adopted by the rogue and becomes his sidekick. Now, when people learned that condiment king got a new sidekick, they laughed. Who in their right mind would want to mentor under him. They believed that this was some poor sob who was down on their luck and truly desperate. That or some weirdo like the ‘king’ himself.
But they didn’t understand.
They didn’t understand that they should never have let Danny Fenton (known as Phantom) become Condiment King’s sidekick.
Danny knows how to animate hotdogs and other foods to create an army. Danny knows intimately about the secret nasty burger sauce that is capable of powerful explosions of you heat it up. Danny has knowledge in the usage and how to build various weaponry designed to shoot or even be powered by green sludge (which can easily be replaced by ketchup, mustard, or relish).
And he hasn’t even shown Gotham his power-set yet. No one knows why he calls himself phantom. For all they know, he’s just a normal (terrifying) human.
Everyone blames the GIW for this mess.
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#Kizzer55555 ideas#all hail condiment king#Danny becomes condiment king’s sidekick.#Danny gets adopted by condiment king#He makes it everyone’s problem#Army of hotdogs#Hotdog henchmen.#The nasty burger sauce is weoponised#Don’t worry though#Danny doesn’t kill anyone#Everyone learns to FEAR condiment king’s sidekick.#Sure he’s the only rogue that doesn’t kill but he is so much worse.#The bats regret their life choices.#The bats regret they didn’t stop this.#The entirely of Gotham hates the GIW.#Even the rogues#This is all their fault.#Condiment king and Danny raid a food market and start a hotdog uprising#He drives many people to vegetarianism.#Damian is the only one happy about Danny being Condiment king’s sidekick.#Danny cannot drive.#He build a weoponised food truck.#These two things are related.
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slaps roof of catullus 51 this triangle bad boy can fit so many metaphorics of translation in it
#rene girard gazing intently at this post#<- don’t even worry about that#actually no i should do a cut-out translation of cat51 using text from violence and the sacred. that would be funny#beeps
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I have been thinking about the blackening (as one does)…
…and it’s so interesting to me, the penalty Shen Qingqiu is faced with should he not decide to yeet his disciple into hell.
Account termination. Instant death. Sent directly home to his already-long-dead body, and that’s it for the villain of the piece who outright refuses his villainy. The protagonist needs a blackening for the story to continue, and Shen Qingqiu is going to provide it or get written out of the narrative. Either way, Luo Binghe is going to lose him. Either way, this is a turning point.
I wouldn’t claim that this is the intent of the penalty, but it fascinates me that the System has, potentially, backed the plotline into a corner - because Binghe still stands to be blackened even if Shen Qingqiu took the other choice.
Think about what that would look like, to him. He’s at the Immortal Alliance Conference, and everything is going wrong. He’s been outed as a demon, and not just a demon - the top tier of demon, as bad as it gets from the perspective of a righteous cultivator. His beloved teacher, the person who has been kindest to him and opened his home and heart to him, is standing there with his sword in hand, deciding what he’s going to do about what must look, to him, like a horrific betrayal. Binghe is apologizing. Binghe is begging for his life.
Shen Qingqiu hears him. Maybe it shows on his face, or in his voice, that he already knew; maybe there’s no hint at all, but Shen Qingqiu is suddenly talking quickly with an abrupt sense of urgency that Luo Binghe is having a hard time keeping up with. Telling him he’ll be wonderful - telling him he’s the best. Telling him the world will be his, with emotions cracking through that aloof mask that Binghe has never seen on Shizun’s face before, and it’s terrifying for reasons that Binghe cannot identify.
(He will, later. When he has time to think, he’ll realize it sounded like a goodbye.)
And then Shen Qingqiu is bleeding. And then Shen Qingqiu is on the ground. And then Shen Qingqiu is dead. There’s no countdown for Binghe - there’s no System, there’s no warning, there’s no answers.
Luo Binghe is a heavenly demon in the middle of a conference sabotaged by demons. Luo Binghe is alone. His fellow competing disciples are scattered, some dead or injured. The Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak, the second in command of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, maybe the only person he loved and who loved him back, is dead at his feet. No one will believe him if he says it isn’t his fault.
(He can’t believe it isn’t his fault.)
What choice does he have but to run? The last heavenly demon the cultivation world went up against has been sealed under a mountain for years, and one of the people responsible for that is probably looking for Shen Qingqiu already. They’ll be looking for him, too. There isn’t anywhere to hide; there isn’t any time to mourn.
There isn’t even enough time to ask why. Why again.
There is no closure waiting for him, because there is nothing to explain what happened. It just is.
It would be a different kind of blackening, certainly - less intense, probably, less of a warping, desperate thing. But how many times can one person have all the love and safety in their world torn out from under them before it starts to show? Before they just don’t allow things like love and safety to touch them, because that’s the better option?
Interesting to consider that, simply by offering the choices it did, the System rigged the story to guarantee that Luo Binghe would end up in hell (deliberate or not).
Interesting to consider that, even if Shen Qingqiu made what might have seemed like a kinder choice, there was every chance it wouldn’t have been.
#scum villian self saving system#svsss#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#I have been thinking about Alternative Blackening Methods#(for reasons)#(don’t worry about it)#and while I don’t think it would be on the same level as the endless abyss#I think suddenly losing his Shizun would fuck Binghe up#especially like that with no explanation right in front of him??#like#he is not gonna be okay#and then he’s stuck in a realm filled to the BRIM with cultivators after his blood#maybe it’s not THE blackening but it is A blackening#and it gives me feelings#because even if sqq was willing to make that sacrifice I’m not convinced that would have… helped Binghe#(also au where sqq somehow has the mushroom body ready to go before the conference)#(and Binghe unexpectedly encounters his Shizun in the wild)#(and they run away together in the most ill-conceived escape plan known to man)
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Waiting for onscreen updates on Will Putnam, Theo Dimas, Charles’ stepkid and literally any of Mabel’s love interests
#like the show is obviously still fun and keeps surprising me#but we’re 4 seasons in and I’m starting to worry about how many important/interesting characters they’ve dropped like hot potatoes#like Theo Dimas bias is one thing but why hasn’t Oliver talked to HIS OWN SON#for a whole season soon#and he still doesn’t know about the Teddy twist#Charles’ step kid was apparently one of the most important people in his life and we don’t even hear about texts from her#stop giving me cool characters and plotlines to get excited about if they’re going to be dropped#in favour of stacking a season with 50 famous guests that don’t impact the trio beyond a singular mystery#only murders in the building#omitb#theo dimas#will putnam#lucy only murders#omitb memes#my memes
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Mikey and Leo episode centered around Mikey wanting to push Leo and Draxum together since Leo’s the most reluctant to give Draxum any grace (for good reason!) But, thinking on the spot, Leo says he’s gotta go do something for Hueso and “just can’t hang out right now 😔” (yes, he says the emoji out loud.)
Mikey calls his bluff and now the three of them (Mikey having grabbed a weary Draxum along) go to Hueso’s to find that yes, he actually does have a job for him. Said job asks for Leo to go with Hueso to deliver multiple pizzas to this giant yokai quite a distance away, and Hueso figured it would probably go better with Leo’s help (emphasis on probably.)
Well, Mikey decides that this would be a great bonding opportunity for them and basically invites he and Draxum along. Unfortunately for Leo, Hueso doesn’t care enough to wave away more help, though he does side-eye the wanted criminal Baron Draxum coming with them. But who is he to judge? (This choice has consequences.)
The journey goes about as terribly as you’d expect, but at least the pizzas get delivered on time.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt leo#rottmnt draxum#rottmnt hueso#listen you don’t understand#imagine mikey trying to get leo to accept draxum as a father figure only for this to push leo to purposefully turn to Hueso instead#idk I love when this accidental flaw of Mikey’s is explored and I think it meshes well with Leo’s own AND fits nicely with their dynamic#100% this ends with Leo & Hueso bonding and Mikey & Draxum bonding and Mikey & Leo bonding and even Hueso & Mikey a bit#but notably only a little Draxum & Leo - because it’s important that Leo isn’t forced to accept him imo#Leo realizing during all his denials of Draxum that oh you know who he DOES think of as family? Hueso#Draxum is trying mainly for Mikey’s sake#Hueso is too tired to care about all this family drama but is reluctantly worried about Pepino#Mikey just wants one big happy family because - that’s just easier y’know?#he tries so hard to work with everyone’s emotions that he just wants things to be easy for once#he wants love and family to be easier than it is - than has BEEN lately#gimme that heart to heart Mikey & Leo moment in this regard#by the end Leo DOES raise Draxum up a bit from ‘complete distrust’ to ‘mild side-eye’#but it’s a long ways off if he ever gets pushed into the family tier#and also#SO MUCH SLAPSTICK COMEDY and sarcastic comedy in this episode fr#and if you’re wondering-#yes they DO fight the Yokai monster they’re delivering the pizzas to#but they get paid so it’s whatever#kinda wanna attempt to copy the style of the show and make fake screenshots of this ‘episode’ ngl
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mosses growing in the cracks in heavily used pavement cars rolling over them 76 times a day nothing but respect for our troops
#some of them around here are even putting out spore capsules.#like yes my children and my childrens children shall grow in this Wendy’s parking lot#also makes me think about the perks of microhabitats.#being a crevice parking lot moss means that you get to marinate in a puddle for a long while when it rains#and often you get runoff from the pavement which can contain Numtrient#and protection. don’t have to worry about certain things eating you if bigger things get scared off by cars#many downsides but like. there are worse places to be as a moss
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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