#<- all just a product of my beautiful mind. bless

[thegreatyin]

Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?

rigel

yes. several. because i love bullying my children.

monarch monarch is probably my personal favorite though

[angel-dustspo]

My guide to˚⊹.⋆𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋. romanticising life ⋆.ೃ࿔*

Life is truly the most important gift of all and I feel like too many people don't actually take it seriously enough or are just afraid of what anybody else might say if they choose to live the way they have always wanted to. Wasting the only opportunity to cherish this gift of life that we have been blessed with is the worst thing you could ever do for yourself. Imagine yourself 40 years from now, regretting that you wasted your teenage and adulthood years worrying about your looks, not enjoying good food, not taking care of yourself or being too careful of your budget and never getting the things you truly wanted. That's surely NOT how I'd like to spend my old age, and my ultimate goal is to think back and be happy that I lived my life exactly the way I wanted!

Romanticising life is all about turning every. little. moment. into something that makes YOU happy, no matter what society might think about it. It's a form of self expression that I fondly believe can help you become happy and at peace with your own self.

Here are some ways to romanticise your life:

ׂ╰┈➤ Stop consuming harmful media. Tiktok, for example, is such a bad place for your mental health and is constantly ruining your attention span and productivity, image of self but, most importantly, your HEALTH AND BEAUTY STANDARDS. It is also one of the causes of many mental health problems such as depression, eds, self h@rming or negative addictions, so try and avoid harmful social media as much as possible.

ׂ╰┈➤ Establish a morning and night routine. I promise this will make you feel so productive and in control of your life. Nothing fancy is necessary, just basic hygiene and skincare, having breakfast, maybe reading or journaling to wind down at night.

ׂ╰┈➤ Consistently work out. "Well Lynna how am I supposed to work out if you said to enjoy life??" Enjoying does not mean that you shouldn't take care of your body too. Find what works best for you and what makes you happy, don't jump into the youtube advanced workouts and then complain that you hate moving your body. Yoga and walks are such a good place to start, or 10 minute workouts a few times per week will make such a difference in both your mind and body. With just a bit of discipline and consistency you will start to love working out and move your body and tend to do it out of habit.

ׂ╰┈➤ Take yourself out for coffee or a pastry! Solo dates can be just as fun as normal ones.

ׂ╰┈➤ Spend more time with family and friends. Humans will not be with you forever and enjoying every moment with them is such an important thing in life.

ׂ╰┈➤ Buy pretty pajamas, light a candle, take long bubble baths, do a face mask, listen to calm music, read, paint, express yourself in any way you want.

ׂ╰┈➤ Clean your environment and surround yourself with the colors and furniture that you love.

ׂ╰┈➤ Dress the way you want to, not how everybody expects you to.

ׂ╰┈➤ Always try new things: that yoga class you heard from your friend, a new pastry that looked so good in the shop window, some book you saw online.

ׂ╰┈➤ Be open minded and present in your life. Live in the present and you will become happy with your past and future.

Although aesthetics do play a big part in romanticising, you can do it without spending a lot of money, effort or time. The need of making everything "aesthetic" is just as consuming and bad for you as not doing anything at all.

Learn to enjoy and cherish every little moment and that will bring you on the path of happiness. Please take good care of yourself, good luck on your wellness journey and thank you so much for reading this post!!

Love, L

[melancholicstation]

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALL THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN IT —HUSBAND!JACK SCHLOSSBERG COMFORT HEADCANONS 𓍼 𓇢𓆸

jack schlossberg fan fiction is for the lovers

WIFE!READER returns and is the orion carloto archetype, who balances modelling and writing, and i imagine her making tiktoks in the same vain of alanabananaxox (she's been my no.1 tiktoker since 2021) and sotce on tiktok.

taglist: @candyneckl6ce @rocker-chick-7 @ultr4v1ol3nt @violetharmonsfavgf @strip-weather-forecast @darcyspirits @fortheloveofjos @h-l-v-kennedy-blog @h-l-vlovesvintage @bluelancergirl @snowsgames @salvatoresablondie @dulcegal @kennedyism @bloxholden35 @kimcrystal123 @absurdlyvintage @jackiesgirl @chemicalw0rld @remotewatch @starsprangledgirl

no matter the stressor husband!jack literally treats it as a top-priority emergency

immediately goes to start a bath for you in your gorgeous copper bathtub (cause of course you have a copper bathtub ... duh) with some suzzane kaufman bath salt's that he picked up down in greenwich after a meeting with vogue's magazine department.

husband!jack is a freak for baths and it's rubbed off on you ... seriously like that man takes baths multiple times a week, on top of daily showers

if he had to be out on a day you were particularly anxious for whatever reason he would come home with a laundry bag of new tasteful yet cute stuffed animals from loewe and never tell you the prices cause he knows you'd crash out

is great at being a body pillow and has no shame just laying in silence together for hours

would try to make you feel better by getting the overpriced (not in your opinion) criterion subscription just so you could watch vintage halloween movies without running a risk of getting hacked on some third-party sketchy website

would 100% let you live in his clothes while he was out of the house so you could feel comforted even if he wasn't physically near

would absolutely try to distract you with light comedy, despite his cockiness he is indeed a funny guy so it helps slightly

husband!jack would be such a proponent of a healthy mind is a healthy body so he'd make you go do jump rope with him (cause why does jump roping have to be so humiliating) or even worse takes you out to paddle board, like imagine your knee-deep in that melancholic state where you only read plath novels and listen to unreleased lana and your boyfriend drags you out to go paddle boarding???? like cmon now

you do feel better afterwards but you would never tell him that

if you guys owned any pets together he would without a doubt tell you he's going to be out for a couple of hours and come back with one of those portrait paintings of house-pets to cheer you up (editors note: vang olsen mimi does the most delightful pet paintings if your in greenwich!)

he would absolutely NOT be above trying to self-medicate your problems (within reason) by smoking w*ed with you or sharing a cigar being the chicest couple ever!

would 100% smother you in delightfully soft cashmere blankets in the pattern of gorgeous tapestries

would earnestly read poems (robert frost, emily dickinson, and shakespeare) to you to get you to sleep on the especially hard days

is a devout optimist and routinely talks you out of your doom scrolling

always holds space for whatever emotions you are feeling but always wants to provide solutions to your problems

and when he encounters a problem he can't so easily fix he invests time into getting your mind off it and plans steps you can take to lessen the hold whatever your stressing about has on you

writes mini impromptu love letters/pep talks on the empty spaces in your agenda notebook (wife!reader would totally own more than 1 of these louise carmen organisers in an apropos shade of autumn scarlet )

encourages you to do self-care rituals with your staple skincare products by letting you do the exact same steps on him

while husband!jack cooks for you both you read him your favourite chapters of "democracy" by joan didion in the kitchen every night and it remains a pillar in your routine despite the tumult

during your hard times jack is serving peak husbandry doing the washing, cooking and cleaning

when he's on his lunch break at the office you get text messages like this:

always makes sure that you take your medication (if you take any) at the exact times its supposed to be at and has little alarms on his phone

husband!jack would increase his acts of service to 1000% like that man would be taking your row boots into the cobbler for a new sole

would bring home flowers without a special occasion, just cause

would without a doubt bring out those STELLAR accents just to see you smile

disclaimer: this is all obviously fiction and i do not know this man nor how he calms anyone down, this is all for some fun distraction in these trying times.

to anyone struggling with the results and its ramifications (same here) i would really encourage you to read this beautiful (free) essay from alanabanaxox on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/i-miss-dancing-115580140?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_fan&utm_content=web_share

[longingforrotkehlchen]

My 2024 Top 10 Favourites.

On Melancholy Hill Tumblr's and my absolute favourite. There isn't much to say. I just remember turning around while counting geese, and there it was - an idyllic scene. A crow extraordinarily relaxed, loafing on a nice spring afternoon. I came a bit closer thinking I *really* hope it stays. Then I crouched fearing the same, but the crow, watched me attentively and stayed. I was blessed - the luck of photographing birds more used to people. The slope gave me the perfect height for the shot, and the crow just chilled there, looking like something was occupying its mind. I got what I wanted and left. The crow stayed there, but it also stayed with me forever.

Sweet mommy's love It was Graugansito season and fortunately I was right in time to see the very little ones. This scene was beautiful, and obviously the geese just chill by the lake and all you need is a perfect moment to capture. This one stood out for me. And I can neither confirm nor deny whether there were more goslings hidden under mommy's wing.

Europe's angriest bird This picture was taking by cheating. So call me a cheat. It is nice, but I cheated. And even worse, I made a little guy angry. Yes, I did play playback (even though I believe that's wrong) in this one because I had seen a pair of goldcrests here the previous week and I was very curious to see if they were genuinely staying and breeding in this place. The male came and sang immediately –that's how I got him nicely close to me–, but the best thing about this encounter wasn't the pictures - it was realizing that the bird seemed to know there wasn't another bird. That I was the source of the goldcrest song. That I was his enemy. I haven't managed to make a bird love me, but that day, I managed to make one hate me.

The light of duckling This pond lends itself to high contrasts and you can play a little with that. I didn't have much time, and the ducklings were all over the place, but I got lucky (otherwise, this post wouldn't exist). As I was leaving I took one last shot with the settings I had for a different spot - and it turned out well. Some of my favourite photos are those that transmit emotions when you look at them. I think this is also one of them.

Spring has arrived It's easy to forget you don't have to be very close to the bird to get a nice photo. In any case, here I was taking a photo out of excitement at seeing Hausrotschwanzkehlchen back, before getting closer to the bird. I never intended it to be anything more than a 'proof' shot, but sometimes those turn out way better than expected.

Is this fluff real? It was peak migration, sunny late afternoon, Schwanzmeise flock and there I was, trying to capture this so-called product of my imagination. It was difficult to get the right angle as the sun was behind them and I had to avoid the backlight, but the good thing about them is that they don't seem to care much about your presence. I got this one really really nicely, and right after they left, I saw my first black storks in the sky. Last September was good.

One more shot As I focus on birding and photography comes second, sometimes I might just leave with zero nice photos to post. That day was no different, but that day I was also thinking: "I'm running out of current photos to post." So I gave it an extra shot, overstayed, and tried to find a subject. A big Blaumeise bunch showed up, many of them, busy foraging, and (I think it was always the same) one came so close that allowed me to take some cute photos.

The pose There's little challenge in taking photos of the coots in this pond. If that wasn't enough, the light was nice that day and someone had thrown a pallet in it. The coot was standing on it and I thought the opportunity was too nice to ignore. Then it even started stretching, giving me the chance to capture this nice pose. The poop is just extra.

The babiest Wacholderdrossel As I was leaving the S-Bahn station, coming up the stairs, I saw this baby perched on a handrail. I could barely believe it, so I emerged, went there, and took my camera out. The baby was going nowhere despite people walking right in front of it. I took some photos, in awe, and I don't know what everybody else contemplating us thought, but I thought that I was so damn lucky to have such a cute photo without even having started.

Just a moment If you're learning photography, nobody is going to tell you "just shoot at whatever you see," but that seems to work sometimes. It's not my intention, mind, because here I saw a little bird perching above my head and I really needed this shot to indeed confirm I was seeing Fitis and not Zilpzalp. But look at that little face, that smoothness... I guess when you take thousands of shots while going places, a few might also be nice. It's never easy to decide, but here's my selection with some background/behind the scenes. As usual there isn't much to it. Mostly just press the button. Let's hope 2025 brings us more bird joy to all of us!

[sgiandubh]

Things that make you go hmmm - the Live with Kelly and Mark October 2024 edition

I have long suspected that hostile Anons were, in reality, pre-emptive strikes of sorts.

But never has it been more clear than today.

You can watch C's appearance at the Live with Kelly and Mark Show, in full, here:

Instead of bothering you with convoluted explanations, I took the liberty of clipping the part that made me (and not only me) go hmmm. I will transcribe it for our Spanish girls, who normally use a translator.

It is almost too good to be true and goes to show one can never have 100% control over what one says. Especially when on a packed, tiresome and tedious schedule:

[FYI, this clipped portion's time stamp on the original video is 22:24 - 23:00 - nothing has been altered by me, just extracted with as much context as possible, lest you'd accuse me, or something]

A thing of beauty, indeed (thank God for days off, huh?):

Mark Consuelos (MC): 'And you've recently had a... uhm... a birthday...'

C: 'I did'

MC: 'Yeah... did you guys do anything special?'

C: 'Uhm, I had an amazing day, we were in London and we just had wrapped, like a couple of days before, uhm, so I got to, I went to, my husband took me to an art show, then to a three-hour lunch and then to the theatre.'

Kelly Ripa (KR): 'Oh, that sounds like heaven!'

C:' It was heaven and then his birthday was like five days later and I gave him a card (inaudible- if someone can make something out of it, please step forward, by all means, I feel it's sort of important, in the context). It was....'

[laughter in the public]

KR: 'That's okay. That's alright. You also gave him a son, come on, come on, come on.'

C: 'This is true, this is true. How long can I kind of run on that one?'

MC: 'A long time, a long time'.

KR:' Oh, at least eighteen to twenty-five years.'

C:' Okay, great.'

KR:' Yeah'.

One more time: 'we were in London and we just had wrapped, like a couple of days before'. I mean, this made me stop in my tracks, right?

Who is the 'we' that 'were in London'? The same 'we' who' just wrapped, like a couple of days before?' Did I miss something, here?

Since when was Tony McGill involved in the wrapping of the OL production, mind you? And if not, was it a cast trip, just after 'we' (the cast) 'wrapped, like a couple of days before'? Now that would be perfectly absurd, wouldn't it? The question was about her birthday, an intimate, family moment: why bring a collective we, like a sore thumb, in that context?

In English grammar, 'and' is a coordinating conjunction. It mainly serves to connect two words, phrases or, like in this case, clauses together.

[Source: https://www.learngrammar.net/english-grammar/clauses]

In the phrase ' 'we were in London and we just had wrapped, like a couple of days before ', ' we were in London' and 'we just had wrapped, like a couple of days before' are two independent clauses, connected by a coordinator, 'and' (coordinating conjunction). Therefore, the first 'we' and the second 'we' logically refer to the same persons.

Exactly like in the following example:

'I heard her saying this and I just had to stop in my tracks, almost in disbelief'. LOL

This grammar lesson has been brought to you for free, courtesy of Sgian-dubh, Inc.

I rest my case.

PS: ' I got to, I went to, my husband took me'. Enough said. Bless her heart, she is still a very lousy, unconvincing (yet very endearing) liar.

[neptuneiris]

Behind the Scenes (04/05)

Behind the Acceptance

pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader

summary: there are new changes for you and Aemond, he wants to rectify himself for past mistakes and you get used to your new life with the father of your son present.

word counter: 10.2K (consider it as a christmas gift, love you all❤)

previous part • next part • series masterlist

I'M SO SORRY!

i know the wait has been too much and you don't know how sorry i am. i experienced stress during my last week of uni before leaving for vacation and i got a new job, which consumes my time and i couldn't edit or do any writing, but i managed to find small times to write and that's why it's taken me so long. i appreciate your understanding, really🥺

I would like to wish you all merry christmas and a happy new year, my best wishes to all of you and also to your families, have a great time and God bless you all beautiful people, you are amazing and truly thank you for so much🥰

now yes, enjoy!

warnings: aemond dad melting our hearts and that's it:)

When Aemond told you to please go back to work and stop running away so that the two of you could face all this together, you didn't quite understand what he meant by 'go back to work'.

However, the next morning after waking up and starting to prepare breakfast for Aenar, you received an unexpected call that answered your question.

It's an unknown number so you accept the call with some caution.

"Y/N speaking? This is Michelle Watson, from the Warner Bros studio production department," she says and your heart jumps.

"Hello?"

You speak on the other end of the line, holding your phone to your ear.

It's HBO, who Aemond is working with right now and where you left your job thrown after unexpectedly meeting him again.

Nerves soon set in and you hold your breath, already feeling ashamed for leaving the shooting set like that without saying anything to anyone and creating a complete circus the moment Aemond called your name in the trailer in front of everyone.

"Yes, she speaks," you reply nervously.

"We want to inform you that despite what has happened, we understand it and the circumstances that led you to leave unexpectedly during your working hours," she tells you in a soft and formal voice, "And we will expect you tomorrow without any problem to resume work."

You frown completely, hesitate a little and blink several times in disbelief, not quite understanding.

"I'm sorry… what do you mean by resuming work?" you ask, barely able to contain your own surprise and disbelief.

"Some conversations took place," she explains, "Mr. Targaryen was quite insistent on convincing the production team to reconsider your situation. He advocated on your behalf, explained the circumstances and your entire track record as an excellent professional makeup artist so that you could continue to work with us."

With your lips parted and your eyes wide open, you are speechless for a moment, staring at a spot in your living room with your heart pounding, definitely not expecting to hear any of this after everything that has happened on this day.

You didn't even expect Aemond to decide to do this for you after everything that happened with him and Criston.

And just when you were starting to worry about how you were going to pay the rent for this apartment and even started to make a schedule in your mind to go get a job somewhere else tomorrow or even today.

"So if there's no problem and everything is fine with you, we'll expect you tomorrow at 7:00 A.M."

Completely speechless.

You can't even control your own heart rate.

But in spite of that, you can't help but feel a huge relief run through your entire body, where you still feel overwhelmed by the generosity and gesture of trust they are offering you, but you definitely feel completely relieved and grateful.

"Yes, yes, of course," you hasten to say, trying to control your emotions, "I'll be there. Thank you so much."

They give you a few more details, you ask few more questions and finally end the call, which leaves you with mixed emotions as you silently contemplate that you still have this new possibility of a better life for you and Aenar.

But you also think about Aemond.

And you will also wait to see how Aemond's integration into your son's little life will be now.

You really appreciate this gesture, you know that only he can do something like this with his influence and connections.

And in fact it gives you the confidence that he will keep his word that no one else will interfere in your and Aenar's life, only the two of you will make the decisions.

Arriving at the recording set, you leave Aenar in the nursery and then you enter the corridors of the whole big production, which is buzzing with its usual atmosphere with its twinkling lights, technical equipment with the huge cameras, microphones and all the sets ready.

You honestly feel nervous knowing that tomorrow you and Aemond will be working in the same place again, like in the old days.

But that's why you try to be as prepared as possible and you won't let all kinds of personal matters interfere with your work.

And once you arrive, you take a moment, take a deep breath and push open the door, where that familiar atmosphere once again envelops you.

You don't even know why but your heart is pounding as you walk down the halls and every step leads you to your area, the makeup and wardrobe trailer.

You assume it's out of shame after what happened yesterday.

Unfortunately your entrance doesn't go unnoticed and as you close the door behind you as you walk just a little into the trailer, some curious faces turn to see you, including Jess, who stops her usual routine and rushes over to you, her eyes wide with surprise.

You hug her back gently, feeling relieved and less tense by the warm welcome from Jess who, even though the two of you don't know each other very well, she actually seems like a very nice person and her personality shows you that.

"Ah Y/N, what a relief to see you again!"

She exclaims with her tone full of joy.

"God, I thought you wouldn't come back," she says as she hugs you excitedly, providing you with some comfort.

"I'm so sorry about yesterday," you say with a regretful gesture and you both break the hug, "I shouldn't have left like that and you don't know how embarrassed I feel. I'm really sorry."

"Oh no, don't worry about it," she assures you instantly, making a nonchalant gesture, "That's all in the past. The important thing is that you're back and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it," she comforts you with a small smile, "We have a lot of work to do today and we need to get you up to speed right away."

Jess, full of energy, ushers you further into the trailer while you greet your other co-workers. Then she explains the day's itinerary precisely, pointing out schedules, wardrobe changes and other important details.

All the while you nod, thanking her for her guidance and trying to keep up. In the midst of all the preparations, the huge door opens again and Aemond is now the one who makes his presence known.

Your gaze meets his and you see the obvious and unexpected surprise in his eyes at seeing you again, but there's not much reaction from either of you as instantly the makeup artists call him over and guide him to start prepping him for today's filming scenes.

And Jess also takes your arm, guiding you to the back of the trailer where the dressing rooms are located explaining what you will be doing, forcing you to look away from him.

And you can only feel Aemond's gaze on you until he loses sight of you.

Jess continues to explain to you, but you can't help but think and wonder certain things, like if everyone here, even Jess, knows about you and Aemond... what you once were and that you have a child together.

The behavior of both of you yesterday was very obvious, that's what you would think if you were an expectant one, so surely there must be some speculation.

And at that moment you remind yourself that your priority right now is your work and that the personal should be kept out of your work environment, so you shouldn't even think about it.

Finally you focus on following Jess's directions, putting aside distractions and preparing for the day.

Jess leaves you alone to take care of her own work and you start with yours, where you spend about an hour still in the back of the trailer, where you check and prepare the costumes that already have to be ready for the scenes that will be filmed soon.

When in the middle of everything, you hear some footsteps approaching behind you and thinking it must be one of the other actors or one of your co-workers, you turn around and the first thing you notice is that silver hair.

Aemond enters this section of the trailer a little unsure, without saying anything, while you also watch him without saying anything.

He is ready to record his scenes with that scar on the left side of his face that his character has and he only lacks the costume.

Until finally he speaks first.

You knew that having a conversation with him again would happen soon, so you're not surprised.

But for a moment there is a tense silence and a slight nervousness and insecurity on the part of both of them, where a clash of emotions is reflected in each other's gazes.

"Hey," he says in a soft, low voice, taking a couple of steps towards you.

You try to smile a little in his direction, not knowing exactly what to say or what to do.

"Hey," you wave back.

There is an awkward pause before Aemond again takes the initiative, taking a few cautious and slow steps towards you.

You bite your lips and lower your gaze for a moment, as he puts a hand to the back of his neck and looks so insecure and nervous standing there, surprising you a bit, as that behavior in him is unusual.

He usually always has that confident attitude in everything he says and does.

"I'm glad you're back," he admits to you, his low tone full of sincerity, "It's good to see you around again."

His words and that friendly gesture take you a bit by surprise, and although you still feel overwhelmed by the unexpected situation, you appreciate the way he is leading in handling all of this to start working together for Aenar's well-being, leaving past tensions behind.

"Thank you," you reply, feeling that sense of relief in your chest again, "Oh, hum… and thank you for talking to production so I could come back," you say a little shyly but gratefully, "You didn't have to."

He lets out a scoff in a nonchalant and also absurd gesture, frowning slightly his nose and forehead.

"Please, it was the least I could do," he tells you softly and with a warm tone, "Besides, it was nothing. I was just afraid you'd decide not to come back."

You hum in understanding.

"I thought about that," you confess to him, lowering your gaze for a moment, "But things were going to be easier for both of us with Aenar if I came back here," you explain, "Still, it was a very kind gesture of you."

Aemond nods, his gaze conveying a mixture of emotions that reflect both relief to see you back here, understanding, and also regret for the past that still haunts him. But he doesn't let those thoughts invade him too much at that moment.

Again there is silence in between for a few seconds, when he speaks again.

"How is Aenar?" he asks in a voice charged with a mixture of happiness, nostalgia and longing for his son.

"He's fine," you say in a soft voice, "He's in the studio nursery. Mary takes very good care of him," you add, wanting to reassure him that his son is being properly cared for.

He nods slowly, humming in response, trying to hide the intensity of his emotions in his gaze.

"That's good, I'm glad to hear that," he replies, vulnerability in his tone and gaze.

The air between the two of you still lingers, charged with emotions that neither of you dares to express openly. However, taking advantage of the conversation, Aemond decides to propose something.

He just met him yesterday and can't wait to see him again, to be in his company.

Yesterday's hours were simply not enough. And knowing that his son is well brings him relief and a feeling he hasn't experienced before since he found out he is a father.

"If you want, I can pay for a trusted babysitter for him," he offers and this gets your full attention, "I'm just saying… so you don't always have to bring him with you to work," he says with a hesitation, his tone betraying his insecurity about his proposal.

You remain silent for a moment, not knowing what exactly to say, in fact processing the unexpected offer. And Aemond can't help but feel even more unnerved by your silence.

"I-I… I don't know," you murmur, hesitant.

This nursery in the set is at least in the same place as you and that gives you relief that whatever happens, you can rush to him right away.

The idea of a babysitter strikes you as a mixture of relief and concern.

In the morning you'd have more time getting ready to come to work and it wouldn't be as much of a burden on you, yet you've never left someone to take care of Aenar while you're away.

But leaving him at home and coming all the way here to work, that causes you hesitation, besides the fact that you have to know the person who will take care of your child perfectly, as well as have confidence in her, above all.

"Only if that makes you feel more comfortable," Aemond adds softly, "But if that's not what you want, that's fine."

You bite your lips, feeling uneasy at the thought of someone else caring for your son and having him away when you're working.

"And you know someone who might be trustworthy?" you ask attentively and still with hesitation in your gaze.

"Yes," he tells you immediately, softly, "Rhaenyra has an army of babysitters to take care of my younger nephews. I can ask her for help with that and I know she'll say yes," he assures you.

"And they are professional babysitters?"

"Yeah, yeah, Nyra is also very careful with the selection and the babysitters she has hired have years of experience and so far several of them have worked with her for a few years now."

And after a moment's reflection, you agree.

And as convincing as the information is, still a mixture of worry and resignation envelopes your body.

But you knew that sooner or later you would have to face the situation of balancing your job with the responsibility of caring for your little one, accepting the idea that you won't always be able to have him with you.

"All right," you nod to him, "But I'd like to do some interviews first."

"Yeah, of course. I'll take care of that, don't worry," he says softly, nodding to you and you nod back.

"Thank you, Aemond."

"You don't have to thank me, Y/N, it's for our son. And if he or you need anything, please just let me know."

Seeing Aemond so willing to be a present father and his desire to be involved in his son's life, to some extent relieves you and surprises you a little, clearly because of what happened at first when you found out you were pregnant.

But so far… he has really shown you that he wants to be present and without having Criston and all his team around anymore.

The slight tension in the air is felt again as you and he continue to navigate the terrain of this new dynamic, which feels a little weird and you feel very nervous, though you don't even know why, while he at all times seems unsure.

And in an attempt to diffuse the tension, now you're the one who speaks first.

"Okay," you nod, "And if you…" you try to say a little nervously and with some caution and insecurity, "If you want to go see Aenar at the nursery or even at the apartment, you can," you assure him with a soft tone, "I never said you couldn't visit him and I don't plan to take that right away from you."

Vulnerability is reflected both in your words and in Aemond's expression, who with his soft face and with his gaze full of various emotions, places a small gentle smile on his lips.

"I'd love that."

Your words mean more to him than you probably realize. That sincere gesture of openness on your part, Aemond deeply appreciates.

Just as he appreciates that the conversation has reached a level of understanding and cooperation that neither of you had anticipated, but that you definitely appreciate. It doesn't end there yet, though.

"Can I ask you something?"

You nod, with no problem.

"Sure."

"What will you be leaving work on when your shift is over with Aenar?" he tells you interested and attentive.

"Um… well, yesterday I took the bus," you explain, considering that just yesterday was supposedly your first day, "And I had already planned that if I finished late, I'd take an Uber. Like now in the morning I was running a little late and took an Uber," you reply, trying to explain your transportation routine.

In fact there is nothing wrong with moving this way, many people do it, besides you don't have many options.

But that's what Aemond doesn't want, he wants to make your life a little easier, especially since Aenar lives with you and he doesn't want to risk something bad happening to both of you one day with public transport.

"Well, if you want, I can take the two of you," he also offers without hesitation, "Or if it seems too much, I can ask my driver to pick you up and take you wherever you need to go, without problem," he assures you, "I just don't want you to move that way with Aenar or by yourself."

This new unexpected offer from Aemond also surprises you, that you even think about turning him down, telling him it's not necessary.

Mostly you see it from Aenar's safety side.

But his concern is genuine and also you know that then moving you will start to be a problem.

You know you can't afford Uber every day, the fares aren't exactly cheap and there are other needs you have to take care of, besides taking the bus late could be dangerous.

"Well…" you look at him hesitantly and a little embarrassed, "You won't have a problem with that?"

"No, of course not," he answers you instantly.

You nod in his direction, grateful for his consideration.

"Yes, it's fine and seriously thank you for this too," you can't help but say, "Sometimes transport is complicated."

"Don't worry, it's fine."

He is about to say something else when a third voice interrupts him, entering the same space as you.

"Yeah, I know, sorry, I'm already on it," he assures her instantly.

"Aemond, are you ready now?"

Enters one of your co-workers, watching him intently and instantly with concern at the sight of him still in his civilian clothes.

"For God's sake, why aren't you dressed yet? Your scene is going to shoot in less than fifteen minutes!"

"I'll be back in ten minutes. Hurry up, please," the worried girl says and hurries away.

You instantly at that moment decide that the two of you can talk later and hand him his clothes from the scene he'll be shooting soon and he thanks you, heading for one of the small dressing rooms quickly.

When he finishes putting on his clothes, you quickly help him look perfect for filming the scene.

"I'll be seeing you," he tells you before leaving and you nod.

"Sure."

And from that moment on, over the next few days, everything changes as much for Aemond as it does for you.

He kept his word to drive you and Aenar back home every time your shift ended. And if he was still filming scenes, he would send his driver to take you instead of him, also to bring you in the mornings.

The relationship is cordial and collaborative and while there is no romantic reconciliation involved, there is a determination to build a more stable and secure future for Aenar, as well as prioritizing his well-being above all else.

At work, too, the dynamic between the two of you changes completely. Communication is professional, as it should be, but in every interaction there is a complicity that seems to have evolved.

There is a quiet understanding, a new focus on cooperation and mutual respect that is taking shape.

Also Aemond kept his word to hire a fully trusted babysitter and while he took care of that, sometimes you found him in the nursery with Aenar, keeping him company and playing with him.

At first this caused you some noise and also confusion, since Aemond is under the public eye spending quality time with his son and doesn't bother to hide it, so you wondered if already everyone working here, also Aemond's co-workers, knows that he has a son with you.

Again that sight couldn't help but make you smile with a certain nostalgic look, watching the interaction of those two silver-haired heads in their own world.

But it made you feel happy to see your little boy laughing and playing with his father.

And if so, you doubt that it will come out soon, because working in this production of whatever position, there is a confidentiality contract for everything, even for the personal life of the actors.

But when the shooting of this show is over, everyone is probably going to know about it. Although it seems that Aemond doesn't even think about it and doesn't really care.

So you decide not to ask him anything about it and how Criston and his whole team is going to take it.

You honestly don't know what Aemond has done with him, what they have talked about and what exactly happened for him to leave you and Aenar alone.

And you don't want to know. You've had enough of him and everything he did to you. And fortunately you live in peace and feel safe to have Aemond on your side this time.

And before you can say anything, Aemond steps forward with a soft little smile.

When one day on your day off you find yourself making dinner while Aenar watches his favorite cartoon in the living room and you supervise him occasionally from where you are, there's a knock at the door.

You're traumatized with the thought that maybe it's Criston and something bad is going to happen, but when you open the door you find Aemond with a woman by his side.

"Hey."

"Hi," you try to smile, a little confused.

"Are you busy? I-I didn't know and thought I'd just come over," he says, "And I'd let you know but I don't have your number or-or something."

"No, no, it's fine, I'm just making dinner," you hasten to say.

"I came because I wanted to introduce you to Elinda Massey," he tells you, pointing to the woman next to him and she looks at you with a warm smile, "One of the babysitters Rhaenyra recommended to me to take care of Aenar."

"Oh," you nod, now understanding.

You watch Elinda and she radiates warmth and assurance in her gaze, instantly feeling comfortable with her presence.

"It's nice to meet you, Elinda," you say with a small smile, extending your hand to her.

"Same to you, Y/N," she replies, shaking his hand with yours, "Aemond has told me so much about you and Aenar. I'm very excited to meet him as well."

Aemond beside her nods, his expression calm.

"Elinda is professional and very experienced. I wanted to introduce you to her and thought maybe we could do a little interview together, just to get to know her and see how she gets along with Aenar."

You instantly nod again.

"Oh yeah, yeah, sure, come on in," you step aside, allowing them to pass, "Aenar is watching his favorite cartoon," you say as you close the door behind you.

Aemond instantly walks towards him, making a sound of surprise, catching his attention and Aenar instantly notices him, smiling big at the sight of him, his huge blue eyes lighting up and reaching out his little arms towards him.

Both you and Aemond know Elinda better and you realize that she is a woman who has all the necessary experience and training. Besides the fact that when she approaches Aenar, he instantly laughs and plays with her.

Aemond laughs and takes him in his arms, starting to leave a bunch of kisses on his huge chubby cheeks, making him laugh as he holds him against his chest and speaks to him in a honeyed tone.

And you again can't help but smile as you watch the scene.

There is still that feeling of worry in you knowing that you will have to leave Aenar in someone else's care.

But Elinda shows you so much in so few hours, she tells you about her experience, shows you letters of recommendation, first aid certificates, as well as other care and Aenar has fun with her.

Aemond stays a few more moments in Aenar's company, playing games and watching the cartoons he likes, while you finish dinner and cleaning the kitchen.

The three of you establish a work schedule for her, as well as you tell her some recommendations and observations regarding Aenar.

And once everything is ready and clarified, she leaves and Aemond tells you that he has already taken care of all the payment details with her.

Every now and then you hear how Aemond asks him questions in a honeyed tone and repeats the same expressions he does when he sees his favorite character on TV, and then both start laughing.

Those sounds, the sound of your son's laughter and also Aemond's expressions, unconsciously make you smile and you watch from the kitchen as Aemond makes funny gestures or faces to make him laugh and attacks him with a lot of kisses all over his face or tickles.

Then you walk him to the door once he is ready to leave.

And there the two of them make themselves comfortable on the couch, eventually Aenar falls asleep on Aemond's lap, his back and head against his chest. He cautiously gets up holding him gently and puts him to sleep, while you thank him.

"Oh, right, I almost forgot," he says stopping in front of the door and turns to you, "This is for you."

You see him take his wallet from his back pocket and inside it, he pulls out what appears to be a black card and holds it out to you. This catches your attention and also confuses you, taking the card with that confusion, not understanding.

And only when you take a good look at it in your hands do you realize that it is a bank card.

"It's yours."

He says and you frown more, then raise your gaze to him asking for an explanation.

"I can only send money to it, I don't have direct access. You'll get the PIN from the bank, tomorrow after the shoot, I'll take you to activate it," he tells you, "You know, it's in case you need money to buy something for Aenar or for you, whatever you need."

Then when you fully understand the explanation and the purpose of this, you start to panic.

"Aemond—

You try to say feeling the lump in your throat and your heart starting to pound.

"I know I didn't tell you about this, but please, I want to do it," he interrupts you with a pleading tone so you won't reject him or reproach him about it, "Besides, this is necessary. Sometimes I will have to travel to other cities for shootings or events and I won't be able to see you or him and I want to make sure you don't lack anything. So just accept it, please."

"But—

"Please," he insists.

This really seems too much to you and you have an idea of the amount of money the card must already have. And no… in spite of everything, you don't want to accept this and feel that you are taking advantage of him.

You watch him still with hesitation and worry on your face, tension hanging in the air as you and he stand in complete silence, saying nothing for a few seconds.

You look back down at the card in your hands and Aemond follows your gaze, both of you standing face to face.

And it just seems that Aemond reads your thoughts by the hesitation and insecurity on your face.

"If you don't want to use it to also buy things for yourself, use it just to buy Aenar whatever he needs," he tells you softly, "After all, I was going to do this sooner or later, wasn't I? It's my responsibility to make sure he doesn't lack anything and that's what I'm going to do."

You let out a long breath, beginning to feel less of the weight of the luxurious and clearly exclusive black card in your hands, with his words beginning to soften your chest at the mention of Aenar.

"Fine," you mutter finally, letting out a sigh and raising your gaze to him, "B-but I'll only use it for things that Ae-

This gesture from Aemond is a clear sign of concern and responsibility he feels towards you and his son. And you truly feel that genuine desire that he wants to contribute for the welfare of both of you.

You try to clarify but he quickly speaks up.

"Yeah, okay," he nods at you, "Don't worry. Just… use it."

You nod again.

"Thank you, Aemond."

A slight flicker of concern appears in his gaze and he quickly tries to be able to struggle to find the right words to be able to explain himself so you don't misunderstand him.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to—

"No, no, I don't think so," you tell him softly, with understanding, "This…" you look back down at the card in your hands and let out a sigh, "This is actually necessary and very helpful…. you really don't know how much I appreciated it."

He nods, his expression relieving a bit as he sees your behavior and also as you accept his support.

"Easy, it's okay," he assures you in a soft murmur.

"Also…" he starts to say with some nervousness but definitely more confident, "I wanted to ask you if you have social security for Aenar and you," he says with a serene expression, looking directly at you.

Again silence settles between the two of you but the air is different, calmer and less tense, feeling the mutual understanding.

And Aemond, after the two of you say nothing for another long few seconds, thinks it best to talk at this point about another plan he has in mind.

This also immediately catches your attention and you watch him warily, tilting your head to one side and starting to get an incredulous look on your face.

"You're not seriously thinking that—

"Y/N, please," he interrupts you, "This is no problem for me, really," he insists, "I just need to know."

"But—

"This is also important and I can pay for it."

"But it's a lot of money and I don't think—

"Do you really think I'll let you and Aenar go through life without being covered?" he asks you incredulously, "I can handle this. I really can."

His words continue to reflect that genuine commitment and you, despite your concern, feel something warm invade your chest, especially the gentle and willing way he is looking at you.

After all that has happened, seeing Aemond so determined to contribute to your son's well-being gives you a new hope and opportunity for Aenar's future.

The costs are too much, nothing you could really afford, not even for Aenar, since your salary was not much and had to cover other needs. You couldn't even afford it on your current salary.

You have always worked very hard to try to give Aenar everything he needs. Among them, paying for a social insurance for him, in case of anything.

But you could never afford it.

And that suddenly Aemond is offering it to you so easily, clearly because he can afford it, you feel somewhat overwhelmed and also feel that it is too much.

"And you're completely—

"Yes, I am," he interrupts you again, being very clear and honest with you, "This won't be any trouble, really," he assures you.

You want to tell him thank you, but the words get stuck in your throat. However, Aemond sees the gratitude is visible in your gaze, along with your concern and how you find yourself overthinking it.

So he just gives you a look of understanding and total reassurance.

"I'll be leaving. You need to rest. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

You let out a long breath, bite your lips and nod in his direction.

"Okay."

"Good night," he says softly as he opens the apartment door again.

"Good night. Drive safe."

Lately the days have been more… peaceful.

But as the days progressed, you realized that it was useless to feel that way because when you returned to the apartment, everything was absolutely fine. And also everything is easier when you transport yourself with Aemond's help or with the help of his driver.

Having Elinda as a babysitter, your mornings are easier and she does an excellent job with Aenar, so you have nothing to worry about.

At first you would leave home feeling horrible and your whole body tense, always alert to your phone and exaggeratedly paranoid.

Aemond also one day told you the same thing, that lately things have been quiet, even the recordings have not been heavy for him compared to other days or other jobs.

And for the same reason that he is busy filming, he hasn't attended any events or interviews, that happens rather after he finishes filming a new show or movie and there is still time left for that.

Aemond drives in silence and the soft background music on low volume fills the entire interior of the car while you watch the city through the windows and Aenar sleeps secured in one of the back seats.

So on this one day and for one occasion only, Elinda had an important commitment that she couldn't postpone, so she didn't show up for work and you didn't have any problem, since you can bring Aenar to the nursery on the set.

And now it is Aemond who is driving them home after your shift ended almost at the same time he finished filming his scenes.

He and you haven't talked much during the whole drive, only about work, but even so the silence is comfortable and you can't wait to get home to cook a nice dinner.

The cityscape soon transforms into familiar and somewhat… careless streets, as you approach to your apartment.

He parks in front of your building and watches you.

You know this isn't a luxurious area and there's a lot of detail to look at, but it's what you can afford right now.

And that's just what Aemond thinks as he looks around the neighborhood, hating to leave you and Aenar here when he can get you a much better place. But he knows you'll say no.

"Will you stay here any longer?" he asks you softly, "I mean, will you continue to pay rent?"

"For now yes," you nod to him, "I'm saving up to move to a better place, to an apartment in a different area and that's close to work," you let him know, "It's just taking time because of my paycheck."

Aemond stares at you intently for a moment, thinking and pondering your words, with a thoughtful look on his face, while you make sure you have all your belongings with you before getting out of the car and carrying Aenar.

And just as he is about to speak, a familiar sound interrupts him and his son's crying is heard throughout the car.

You follow him too with all your things in hand, walking over to both of them.

You quickly turn to him to attend to him, trying to calm him down, while Aemond reacts and quickly gets out of the car to open the door to the back seats.

It takes him a little while to unfasten the seat belts, but once he's finished he takes him in his arms and whispers comforting words in his ear to make him stop crying.

"Shh, my little one," Aemond whispers, holding him against his chest and stroking his silver hair, "Hey, it's okay, it's okay," he murmurs, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead.

You move to his side and run one of your hands over his wet cheeks, watching you for a moment with teary blue eyes only to close them tightly and continue crying.

"Either he wants to sleep in his room or he's hungry," you say, stroking his face to try to calm him as well.

"He didn't eat?" he asks you attentively.

"Yes, Mary said yes."

"Then he wants to sleep," he says, trying to wipe the dried tears from his cheeks, "Come on upstairs, I'll take him," he tells you and you nod.

All the while Aemond tries to comfort him until they reach the door of your apartment, but when he lays him down in his crib, Aenar cries more and he carefully holds him in his arms again, trying to soothe him while you quickly stop in the kitchen and prepare a baby bottle, hoping it will help.

And when you hand it to Aemond, he stands gently pacing around the room holding Aenar with one arm while the other hand holds the baby ottle for him against his mouth, hoping it will soothe him and he will fall asleep.

You take the bottle and Aemond carefully lays him down to sleep in his crib, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead to finally let him rest.

Aenar eventually calms down as he drinks from the baby bottle and watches with his blue eyes Aemond above him, who is still gently walking him around the room.

And little by little, wrapped in the safety of Aemond's arms, he falls asleep.

He sits up and turns to you, where you both look at each other without saying anything for a moment, sharing a silent connection.

"Thank you," you whisper to him.

"Don't worry," he says back to you in the same way.

Together you leave Aenar's room without a sound and gently close the door.

That night Aemond drives to his apartment with a new thought in mind, one of which is to always provide a better life for you and Aenar.

That's why, without telling you anything and taking advantage of the fact that it's your day off, he manages to leave the recording set early, he tells you to accompany him to the mall to buy new clothes for Aenar and you accept without thinking about anything else.

During the ride, so far you haven't questioned him about anything and that relieves him, but when you finally pay attention to the streets he is driving through, that's when your confusion appears and Aemond is thankful that you are about to arrive at the real place he wants to take you.

"I don't think there's a shopping mall around here, Aemond," you tell him confused, watching the streets carefully.

You realize that he is actually driving through a private residential neighborhood, with the streets lined with luxurious homes or rather mansions that would catch anyone's attention and you are clearly no exception.

And remembering your locations, you can tell that this neighborhood belongs to the Visenya Hill area, the most exclusive and prestigious area of King's Landing.

"Aemond, where are we going?" you look at him completely confused and questioning.

"I want to show you something," he tells you without giving you any more detail, generating more confusion and despair in you.

"But you said we were going to the mall."

"I know, but I lied to you," he says with some regret and you frown, "If I told you I wanted to show you a house where you can live with Aenar, you wouldn't have come."

"What?"

You inquire in your completely incredulous, serious and questioning voice, watching him with your eyes wide open.

"Surely you're joking," you tell him absurdly, shaking in his direction and watching him completely intently and seriously, really wanting to believe this is a joke.

"No, I'm not," he says letting out a small laugh, watching you for a moment to turn his gaze back to the road.

"Aemond," you start trying to warn him, serious.

"We're here," he announces out of nowhere, alerting you more fully.

You watch with your lips parted and completely attentive at all the windows, as the car comes to a stop in front of an impressive house, whose high ceilings and elegant white columns stand out in the neighborhood.

The front garden with the green lawn, a beautiful fountain and flowering bushes only make it stand out more, besides the elegant entrance, its huge windows and the dimension of the whole house that makes you continue to stare at everything with your mouth open.

In comparison, Aemond looks at the house with a hopeful expression and feeling genuinely happy and excited. But at the same time, he is worried about your attitude and what you will tell him about all this.

At first you refuse to get out of the car, still incredulous and surprised, telling him this is crazy, but Aemond makes you get out and also gets Aenar down from the back seats, instantly on this rare occasion preferring your arms instead of his father's.

"Aemond," you try to say, worried and still unable to believe it.

"Easy. Come," he tells you completely unconcerned, leading you to the entrance of the house.

You observe everything, unable to help yourself, as there is even furniture and everything looks too expensive but too beautiful at the same time.

You watch as he holds the fucking key in his hand and opens the beautiful, gigantic door for you, without giving you a chance to say anything else.

And as you enter, the entire interior of the house spreads out in front of you, illuminated by the daylight filtering through the windows and highlighting every majestic detail of the property.

The simple entrance is large with a crystal chandelier above you hanging from the high ceiling, the living room is spacious and there is also a small decorative fountain. Further on there is another living room that you can observe from the spacious and eye-catching kitchen.

And the entire upstairs also completely grabs your attention, having three huge bedrooms, the master bedroom being the largest of them all, each with its own bathroom and closet.

The bathroom down here is ridiculously large for a bathroom. The pantry is also a ridiculously large room for a pantry.

The garden is lovely and has a swimming pool which, according to Aemond, can be automatically closed off for Aenar's security. There is a laundry and drying room as well.

"It's perfect, don't you think?"

Aemond tells you slightly excited as you walk down the stairs behind him, with Aenar in your arms and who also looks at everything around him with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Work is nearby, my apartment is nearby and Elinda has come to this area to work before, so it won't be a problem," he tells you with that little smile, turning to you, looking with that gleam of hope compared to you.

He clearly expects the same reaction from you and even having already seen the house, you let out a sigh and look at him with a serious and confused expression.

"Aemond, what do you think you're doing?"

"Well, it's for you," he tells you, pointing to everything around him, still not seeing how much this is costing you, "It's perfect for you and Aenar. And a chance for him to live and grow up in a nice, spacious, safe place."

You are speechless for a moment, feeling that heaviness in your chest and your heart pounding as you press your lips together and briefly observe everything around you again.

"Everything will be taken care of by me, you won't have to worry about anything," he assures you softly, "Aenar's room is big, the kitchen is big, there are two living rooms and..." he shrugs, "Like I told you, everything is close by."

"Tell me you haven't already bought all this," you say slightly concerned.

And then all emotion from Aemond slowly fades.

"But why? What is it that—

"Aemond, this is too much," you interrupt him incredulously, shock in your eyes, "How do you think I'm just going to accept this just like that?"

He steps closer, with the slight concern in his gaze, trying to convey calm, but his eye reflects the urgency of his purpose.

"Y/N, please. I only want what's best for you and Aenar. Besides, you said you're moving soon and—

"Yes but to an apartment, not a house that costs millions of dollars," you tell him absurdly.

"Yes, I know, but—" he bites his lips, nervous, "I wanted to do this. I wanted to give this to you and Aenar," he says insistent, "A safe place in a quiet neighborhood, where you can also have your space without having to worry anymore."

You shake your head.

"But—

"Look, just..." he tries to find the right words, trying to work on your willing attitude for not accepting this, "Consider it, yes?" he insist, "You don't have to make a decision right now, for now I just wanted to show you around, nothing more," he says calmly, though you know that behind that calmness is an obvious longing.

"But it's just that this is too much and... no," you look at him with slight concern, "I don't need to consider it because no matter how much I think about it, my answer is no."

"Aemond, this..." you begin to say with restrained sadness, hesitating, "This won't change the past. This won't make it so I can forgive you," you tell him resignedly, "This isn't about me and Aenar, it's about Aenar nothing else and her well being," you tell him in a broken voice, "But this... this house... it's too much."

"Y/N..." he says, taking a couple more steps towards you, wary, "Two years ago, I was the worst shitty boyfriend," he says with sadness and regret, "I had to support you, be there for you completely, I shouldn't have let Criston talk me into his plans, accept in the beginning to hide you and hide my responsibility."

He says as he looks nostalgic at Aenar in your arms.

"And now that you've given me this second chance, I just want to make things right....I want to do what I should have done in the beginning."

Aemond's expression, although he himself tries to remain expressionless, still feels as if he has been hit hard in the stomach when he hears your words.

And all illusion disappears, as well as his enthusiasm.

He resignedly steps back, leaving a space between you and him, not wanting to overwhelm you any more than he already has.

He thought this would be a good idea, that by the time the three of you were here, looking forward to the idea of a new home, you would understand and accept.

But there are still many open wounds from the past and he knows they cannot be healed with these sudden gestures.

"I know, it's just that I-I..." he tries to say with his voice laden with regret and deep remorse," I didn't expect this... a house or an apology to just fix things," he says sincerely and with disappointment, "I just wanted to give Aenar stability and offer you a safe place for the both of you, give you a better life."

Silence envelops you both, dense and charged with mixed emotions.

Aemond tries to find some sign on your face, wanting you to see his true intention, longing for some small indication of hope or acceptance.

And you feel the overwhelming weight of responsibility and emotions inside you. All of this is tempting, though your heart is still scarred by past pain and also distrust. And you are torn between caution and the opportunity to give Aenar the stability he deserves.

Aemond remains silent, respecting your space and your time to process the situation. But the indecision in you is all too obvious.

"Y/N, I promise you that all this is for Aenar and nothing else," he tells you seriously and sincerely, "I promise I won't try anything, except to take care of him and make sure he lacks nothing," he insists, "At least stay in this house until he grows up a little more and if you still think it's too much, we can find a smaller place," he proposes.

His words are left floating in the air, while you continue to think too hard. His proposal echoing in your mind, plunging you into a sea of thoughts, with indecision.

Aemond seems to have put his heart on the table, but your emotions continue to struggle between caution and hope, as you cannot ignore the possibility of offering Aenar a more secure and stable life, which is all you wish for him since you could not give him that at the beginning.

And it is also what Aemond desires, that is why he is so insistent and you see his true intention to give this to Aenar, without any other intentions in between.

But is it right to trust him again? What if Criston and his team try to intervene again? This time they would do it more easily.

Maybe it can be different this time.

You honestly feel like you're taking a big risk by agreeing. It's a big bet to open your life and Aenar's to this new opportunity, but you also see how he's striving to give you something better.

And that's exactly what has you questioning and wondering: should I give this a chance?

"All right," you finally say in a soft voice with a mixture of nervousness, "But only for Aenar."

Aemond looks at you with surprise and hope.

"Really?"

You nod, swallowing hard and Aemond lets out a long breath, visibly relieved and then, avoiding smiling big, takes the house key from his front pocket and holds it out to you, to which you take it a little confused.

"Don't you have to give it to the real estate agent?"

"Actually, I already bought it," he says with a nervous but innocent gesture at the same time, scratching the back of his neck, "Well, I haven't paid the whole amount, but I've paid most of it. So it's yours."

Seven fucking Hells.

You can't help but think as you close your eyes for a moment and let out a sigh, unable to believe it.

The new house soon began to have that warmth the moment you started settling in with Aenar. Every room radiates a sense of peace and comfort that you haven't experienced in a long time.

The move wasn't difficult at all, the only thing you had to transport from the old apartment with the help of Aemond and his driver was your clothes, Aenar's clothes, her toys and her crib, nothing else.

The house already had furniture, beds, decorations and even televisions already installed.

The high ceilings allow natural light to flood in, while the white walls set off the black and gray furniture and Aenar toys, creating a warm and cozy atmosphere.

Aemond builds Lego block forts together with him, buys him toy dragons, cars, stuffed animals and they both watch Aenar's favorite cartoon or movies, getting cozy on the shag carpet or on the couch.

Because Aemond's apartment is close by, his commitment is more accessible, so there is never a day that goes by that he doesn't visit Aenar.

Special moments between father and son are spent in the living room, where toys scattered on the floor become Aenar's playroom area.

Also some evenings the three of you have dinner together, where Aemond offers to feed Aenar and eventually the dining room fills with laughter and smiles as you focus on him.

The backyard also becomes a realm of adventure, where they both even plan picnics and invite you over.

They also both sometimes spend afternoons exploring with laughter and playing with the plastic cars on the lawn where Aenar imitates the sounds Aemond makes from a car.

The new house is filled with happy and warm moments, forming the perfect setting for Aenar to begin to grow up, having both of his parents looking after him.

The proximity of work and Aemond's apartment made the daily routine easier. The routes are short and convenient, allowing more time to enjoy time together.

And above all you definitely feel more at ease having Elinda taking care of Aenar while you are considerably closer to home from the set.

When one day at night, you had already received a message from Aemond telling you that he would be a little late to visit Aenar, as usual, and you replied that it was fine, even though tomorrow is your day off and you have no problem with sleeping late.

But the clock is almost half past eleven at night and you think he is not going to arrive, when just at that moment you hear the doorbell ring and you go to the door, checking from the IPad the cameras of a program that Aemond installed to record Aenar while he sleeps and also monitors in case of anything and so you can make sure he is okay.

And finally you open the door, watching Aemond carefully.

"I thought you weren't coming anymore," you tell him in a low, warm tone, but also worried.

Aemond nods, letting out a sigh.

"I finished later than I thought. It was a hard day," he tells you heavily.

You nod softly and understandingly, stepping aside to let him pass.

"Aenar is already asleep."

"Yes, that's what i thought," he says calmly, "But it doesn't matter, I won't wake him up, I just want to see him," he watches you with tired eye, "You should go to sleep too," he says as he places one of his hands gently on your shoulder, "I'll lock up and set the alarm when I leave."

Hesitation shows on your face for a moment, watching him intently and with a flash of concern.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry," he nods at you with a small soft smile, "Go get some rest, I'll take care of it."

"Fine, but anything tell me, no matter what it is, okay?"

"Okay."

With a soft nod, you both head up the stairs and down the hallway to the rooms, you wave goodbye to him before entering your room and he enters Aenar's room.

And once in your room, you cover yourself with your sheets and thinking that you would fall asleep the moment you were in the comfort of your bed, you suddenly stare at the ceiling for a long time unable to close your eyes and clearly unable to sleep.

He hasn't left yet, as you haven't heard that soft 'click' of the door or his footsteps in the hallway walking away.

You try to find sleep any way you can, but the thought that Aemond is still in the house is what keeps you awake.

And it's not because you don't trust him, on the contrary, you look at the time and feel remorseful and worried that he has to drive back to his apartment so late.

Minutes pass and suddenly you find yourself restless, sleep refusing to invade you. So with quiet steps, you approach Aenar's room, where the dim light of a night lamp reflects through the frame below the door.

Carefully and determined, you gently open the door, first peeking your head and then your body, catching the attention of Aemond who turns his head towards you, sitting near Aenar's crib and gently and very lightly stroking his hair so as not to wake him with a look of affection that does not leave his face despite the interruption.

"Can't you sleep?" he whispers to you, watching you with a soft gaze.

You nod softly, folding your arms as you look down at sleeping Aenar with palpable tenderness.

"It's late and I thought maybe... if you want, you can sleep here," you say with a warm tone but your hint of shyness in your voice is noticeable, as well as your hesitation to suggest such a thing.

It's no problem for you, it's just that he's never slept over before and you don't know what his reaction will really be to you proposing that, whether he'll say yes or no.

"And you're okay with that?" he observes you thoughtfully and softly.

"Yes, of course I am," you assure him completely nonchalantly, "It's totally fine with me."

He nods at you with a gesture, without wiping away his soft little smile.

"Thank you."

And then both his gaze and yours return to watching Aenar asleep in his crib. And Aemond resumes the smile of tenderness on his lips, again sliding his hand over his hair.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" he whispers with a flash of pride in his gaze.

You hum in assent, slowly moving closer toward them both.

"Yes, he is," you reply, gazing at your little one with indescribable love.

A brief silence envelops you for a moment, only hearing the soft hum of the spinning lamp projecting images on the ceiling, creating a peaceful low-light scene of animals and stars for Aenar.

This usually helps him sleep and also calms him down a bit if he wakes up crying in the middle of the night while you wake up and rush over here.

"For a while I imagined how he would looked like, whether boy or girl..." he murmurs in a soft, warm, low, wistful tone, "No matter what you decided to do when you left, I always thought about it," he gives you a meaningful look, guilt on his features and you nod, watching him with understanding.

Aemond clenches his jaw and looks at Aenar again, while you remember those days, where fear and uncertainty lived inside you every day.

You wish you had them, those happy moments that a new mom should experience, but that was not the case for you and yet... you cannot imagine a life without your little boy, it is impossible.

What is supposed to be happy news, was not happy for you and Aemond.

There was no single moment of joy at the beginning, when you learned of your pregnancy. Nor did you experience that feeling the first few months, when you ran away and went back to building a new life.

And Aemond feels the remorse most in these kinds of moments, when Aenar is asleep and he looks at him, not being able to believe and wondering over and over again how it is that from the beginning, he supported the idea of just getting rid of him.

And now he sees only him and cannot imagine a world without him.

Shame overcomes him, guilt also and he even wants to cry with anger as he thinks of all that you must have gone through, without his support, trying to make a living for you and his son, all alone in a new and unknown place.

And he knows that this, allowing you to be in Aenar's life, is a great opportunity that he doesn't deserve and yet you have given it to him.

"I know you said you can't forgive me but... someday can you? For how I reacted and for the decision I supported in the beginning?" he asks you, unable to help himself and needing to know.

His tone is charged with a mixture of regret and longing as you feel a pressure and a slight sharp pain in your chest at his words.

Silence stretches for a moment throughout the room, Aemond respects your silence and though there are many reasons why you should never forgive him for what happened, you still decide to be honest.

"I don't know," you whisper in a low, sad and vulnerable tone.

The words echo through the room, enveloping the space with palpable tension.

Aemond feels his heart pounding, filled with overwhelming regret. He lowers his gaze, unable to bear the weight of his mistakes and your words are like a dagger in his heart, but still, he understands you completely.

He nods with compression, letting out a regret-laden sigh, still gently stroking Aenar's hair.

"I understand," he murmurs with a tone of melancholy and fragility, as well as in his gaze full of pleading and remorse.

"Does your family know about him?"

And you with your sad eyes full of regret, you watch him out of the corner of your eye.

And you see all those emotions in him, all his thoughts reflected in his gaze, trying to stand firm and on the sidelines as he continues to watch Aenar.

You can't help but ask, trying to calm the atmosphere a little, though it's useless, as that slight tension is felt and also that physical and emotional distance from both your side and him.

"I've wanted to tell them, only Nyra knows but I asked her not to say anything," he confesses to you in a low voice, trying to speak firmly but the nostalgia is clear, "Even though I know my mother and siblings will be disappointed in me when I explained what happened two years ago, yes I have wanted to tell them," he nods, "But first I wanted to discuss it with you," he says looking briefly at you over his shoulder.

And now it is remorse that comes to you.

"Tell them, Aemond," you tell him firmly with a soft tone, "They deserve to know."

general taglist:

@imaegonstargaryenswife0 @bellstwd @gibbsgirl7 @toodlesxcuddles @imsoshygirl @croatianprincess @gemini-mama @a-little-roony-mara @mysteris-things @zenka69 @at-a-rax-ia @fan-goddess @duds31 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @eternally-passionate @bellaisasleep @ttkttt @aemshaircare @mellowdreamlandpost-blog @noodle81937 @mooncalvin @queenofshinigamis @n4tforlife @vexladin @dixie-elocin @wotcherpeak @watercolorskyy @shiny-trashs-blog @strangersunghoon @elysian0612 @skzenhalove @iloveallmyboys @cakescupcakesminicookies

next part:

@hypocritic-trash-baby

[purple-writer8]

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - ACOTAR

Eris x Rhysand’s Sister (Reader)

“I cry a lot but I am so productive. It’s an art.”

warnings: toxic man implied, abused eris, emotionally unavailable eris, depressed reader, broken up mates, angst

968 words

Masterlist :)

"Yes, I went to Day and reported the findings to Helion. Then to Thesan." You reported to your High Lord and Lady. Rhysand looked more than pleased, and Feyre could only gape at you in awe. 

"You did all that in a day?" She asked in shock, admiration gleaming in her eyes for you. You nodded, a tired smile adorning your face, "and the ball is all set for tonight." 

Feyre gaped along with her mate, they could hardly believe it. "You are a blessing, a real fucking blessing. Thank you, so much... you will get more than a hefty bonus in your next payment." Rhysand grinned, dark talons caressing your mind in a soothing way. 

You rolled your eyes at your brother, then asked, "why do you two always act like I'm some kind of miracle fae?" 

They glanced at each other, then back at you, and then pity overtook both their stares. You know why. You were supposed to be heartbroken, as you had just ended your betrothal to Eris Vanserra. The two of you were mates, but the abuse he had suffered from his father and the toxic familiar dynamics he had grown up in, made him less than emotionally unavailable. 

He was unable to communicate what he felt, all he could do was share his feelings through your bond. But that was not enough, not when he had commitment issues and acted like an ass to your family. The bond was strong, but your self-respect was stronger.  Especially when you knew what you were worth, being the Night Court's High Lord's sister and Princess of Velaris. 

"What happened with Eris... at the last ball... it was bad..." Feyre trailed, not wanting to exactly mention what had happened. It was fucking painful for you, you had broken your engagement in front of everyone. "And I saw you crying last night... and this morning before your mission..." she added. 

"I cry a lot, but I am still very productive. I can do my work with a broken heart." You replied with a simple shrug, much to Rhysand's dismay. You had always been like that, had always hidden your feelings and done your work even when you were breaking down.

“You’re a real tough kid.” He said softly, violet eyes eyeing you closely, “you complete all your missions seamlessly. You are an example to follow.” 

You chuckled dryly, “yeah, yeah, I am the best. Can I go get ready for tonight? I got the most beautiful dress and I want to try it on.” With that, the couple simply nodded and excused you. 

They were right to be impressed. You wanted to die, and yet— you were ready to shine that night, like every other night. 

Ready to show everyone lies. 

-

The ball in the House of Wind went off without a problem, and like every other night-- you were the center of attention. The gown you wore was magnificent, the light reflected off you in a majestic manner, almost as if you wore liquid starlight in your frame. You stood at the side of the bar with Azriel, watching as everyone arrived, sipping on a tall glass of champagne. You knew Eris was coming, you needed to drink before seeing him. 

"You look pretty," the shadowsinger said in a stoic manner, hazel eyes traveling up and down your frame swiftly. You smirked into your glass, "as do you." 

"Have you spoken to him?" He asked, and you knew he referred to Eris. Azriel cared, and he showed it, having known you since the moment you had been born-- he was protective of you. Especially because he loathed Eris with all his being. 

"Please, he avoids me like I am faebane," you snorted, the alcohol working its magic on you already. And you were grateful for it, because you almost choked when your eyes met the red - haired male that had once promised he would love you for his whole life. What a short life. 

You felt Azriel's eyes on you, his shadows coiling around your ankles in support as you watched Eris strut into the ball as if he owned it. He commanded the room, but that was normal. He was a magnetic force of a male. You looked at Azriel, seeking shelter in his hazel eyes-- the mating bond was tugging you to Eris, his presence was like a fire roaring inside your heart. 

You were about to break down, so you hit the dance floor. Dragging your sister-in-law from her seat next to your brother, you danced and danced. Feyre and you were always a force to be reckoned with when you partied together, and that night was no exception. You both were grinning as you danced, twirling about the Hall as if you were made of starlight. 

The crowd of fae chanted and cheered for you, and you could feel the pieces of your heart shattering on the floor. It was always like that. You were miserable, and no one even knew. You laughed as you danced with Feyre, as if you couldn't feel your mate's heartbreak from across the room. "Eris looks like he wants to die," Feyre whispered as if she could read your mind. 

"Yeah, but if I try to talk to him, he avoids me like I have fae plague," you snickered, your eyes finding the heir of Autumn. As soon as your eyes found his, they were looking away from you, as if he hadn't been watching you dance. You wanted to die, but instead you twirled and grinned as if you were having the time of your life. 

"Then let me talk to him," the High Lady offered, and you stopped your dancing, giving her a stern look. 

"I can handle my shit, Feyre." 

-

Author’s note:

This will probably have a part two because i love eris and i want him to be happy. Also ttpd has me in my feels soooooo probs a lot of angst coming ehfuhihoiqhioghhrueiuifio3iij4rijj

Taglist: @mybestfriendmademe @lilah-asteria @sheblogs

[somewhereincairparavel]

How would Jason Grace spoil you? boyfriend hcs list

author's note: ik i have an angsty jason grace prompt in my asks and i swear im working on it! But this idea just popped up on my mind and I've been thinking about it all night yesterday omgg. Let me know if you guys want a Leo/Percy/Frank version of this, I mostly write for Jason since he's my bbg but I might actually do the others this time since the idea is so cute!

I'll start off by saying, Jason is a selfcare supporter bf.

Okay so yk how the Romans in CJ have such high standards? They literally exhibit royal/regal energy, and are super fans of luxury stuff.

Jason despite being influenced by greeks would always be a roman. Whether he likes it or not, there will always be roman blood in him. So he makes these cute/simple ideas for dates/gifts but his execution is just pure sophistication. He's SO simple yet so fancy, and Ik they're contradictions but I promise I'll explain.

like this boy would make sure to run you a nice warm roman bath after you come back from a dangerous/tiresome quest to ease your muscles. Cute and simple right? Wrong. This man would buy all sorts of expensive bath perfumes, bath bombs, fragranted petals, etc to make it extra special for you.

See so this is what I mean when I say his ideas are cute, but executed in a very fancy way.

He LOVES spoiling you with self care products, like sheet masks, lotion, cleansers, hair masks, etc. like he simply does NOT care about the money, as long as his girl is taking care of herself?? That's all that matters tbh

This is mostly because Jason, as a kid soldier, never had any time for himself, the closest thing he's ever done to "selfcare" is probably take long baths + trim his hair lol

jason was blessed with his mother's ethereal actress beauty okay. So selfcare or no self care would have zero effect on him physically bc bro would still look majestic.

ANYWAYS he feels like his inner child just kinda heals when he sees you prioritising yourself and he admires it sm :((

would be ecstatic if you rope him into self care. He would be sceptical at first but then as you're applying a face mask on him he'd be like "wait this is actually so relaxing what" and you love the way his face muscles soften at that. Like he really deserves a break and some relaxation, you'd often trick him into using your skincare products intentionally bc he deserves self care.

once he felt so soothed with the lemon facemask he was wearing that he fell asleep on your shoulder and was all zzz 🥺

and would make sure to restock all your products if they run out.

he feels that the self-care has more of a mental and emotional effect on him rather than physical

Which is what matters to him

honestly?? He supports you if you want to wear makeup. Like he'd think you look gorgeous either way but if you like wearing lipgloss? So be it. You get any lipgloss you want he's paying. He just LOVES that you love yourself too :( and would do anything to make you feel comfortable.

also

Food.

This man loves investing on food. Again, it's bc he never even had the time to properly eat as a legionnaire :(

So he'd love to take you out to places and just munch on tasty food and talk. New Rome has bomb food okay. Bro just never got to eat them.

Lmao he's like everyone's grandma when it comes to food. "Have you eaten? You HAVE to eat!! I'll get you food! Go back to your room!"

would spoonfeed you soup if you're sick bc nuh uh you ain't going without eating hun 😤

hes the worried anxious mother hen bf okay fight me.

Food + selfcare = Jason Grace's love language

[thefallenangelsgang]

I'm losing my fucking mind

Or: I just saw Lord of the Rings the Musical at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater and my brain chemistry has irreversibly changed

I'm too genuinely scrambled at the moment from travel to make a solid post (I am multiple states away from Illinois and I hate city driving) but I cannot shake the life-changing experience that was.

SPOILERS AHEAD

(Spoiler free tldr: story is changed sometimes severely to make a sub-3hr runtime or to simplify, but the message doesn't get completely lost. Tolkien fan approved)

First issue I can see everyone having is how much the story changes because it does change a lot. Rohan and Gondor being merged is probably the most glaring. I think it works because the show is more focused on the Hobbits (specifically Frodo and Sam). Personally I can look past it. My one issue is the missing Sam monologues (mount doom is a rather swift sequence, I'd have liked to see Sam give his devotion speech and his speech about the shire while waiting to die) those would have made insane songs but alas. The ending still was a gut punch though so it's more a personal preference thing.

First thing that blew me away was the technical aspect. The lighting and set design was GORGEOUS and EVOCATIVE. There were multiple times lighting alone drew me to tears.

The puppetry is immaculate. The nazgul chase is singularly some of the most beautiful choreo I've seen and I'm a slut for puppetry

The cast play all of the instruments live on stage, sometimes while doing choreography (nothing will prepare you to see Legolas holding a fucking trumpet or Boromir strapped into a goddamn accordion)

The costuming is more accurate to the original editions' illustrations which I found endlessly charming. One difference is, for safety (probably OSHA), all the hobbits (and Gollum) wear Sandals. This is never discussed. I love that.

BOROMIR IS KILLED BY HIS OWN SWORD WHICH I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW PERFECT THAT IS NARRATIVELY

GOLLUM PLAYED BY TONY BOZZUTO IS NEARLY INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM ANDY SERKIS

(I am not joking about this. Somehow he has mastered Andy's physicality and voice work. It truly was a sight to behold.)

Saruman/Elrond's actor (dressed as a hobbit) was hanging out in our section during preshow and was having a grand old time.

Bilbo and Frodo were in the main audience bothering people. Frodo was playing a stick and ring game and got absolutely shown up by some 10 year old he invited to play.

The Entmoot took literally 2 minutes (the way I had to stop from HOWLING at that)

I was SOBBING at the end, like actually.

Somehow this production managed to keenly make me feel the ending of Frodo leaving for the Grey Havens more than the movies did. The Irony of Frodo leaving being both a hopeful prayer that there is a place where people bound with trauma and wounds too deep to heal can live in peace without pain and also a grim acceptance that sometimes people cannot recover was STARK

Frodo and Sam really push the narrative of this show up until the end and it hits HARD. God bless this cast with steady work, they all deserve it.

[earthxangell]

☆ﾐ what are you manifesting in february || pick-a-card reading (timeless)

Hello my beautiful star souls and welcome to my new Pick-A-Card reading. I'm coming back with my weekly messages for the collective, fully recharged and passionate about delivering guidance from the Spirit and any entity that wants to come through. I hope you're doing well and sincerely smile from the bottom of your heart full of joy, happiness and love.

Take a few deep breaths and let your intuition guide you towards a certain pile. Choose a picture and read your interpetation down below.

Only for entertainment purposes. Take what resonates and leave everything else behind.

,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Pile 1

Some sort of a big opportunity coming to you. You've been praying for this one because it directs towards your soul's passion and desire. Especially if you've been meaning to start some sort of a creative business or just simply allow yourself to be bold and move towards that passion despite the fear and negative thoughts of losing this game. There's a message here to strongly communicate what it is that you truly want for yourself. For some, I feel like an important conversation with parents is about to happen. You've been planning it, for some reason feeling uncertain if they'll get you but Spirit is encouraging you to do that. The conversation will go well. For some, I feel like they hide their passion from friends/family because they don't want to be misunderstood or laughed at. You won't be. You're never alone and the month of February will prove you that. You deserve to live this life according to your desires, wants and needs and be supported and loved for that. If you want to paint, paint; if you want to sing and produce your own music - do that. No matter how bad or simply disgusting it will seem to you. This talent of yours is a gift from ancestors. Don't be afraid to show your progress with the loved ones - they'll love it, that's for sure. Even if you're just a beginner or only about to start it - please, if you feel called to talk and share this goal of yours with someone, do that. I see you receiving support and financial opportunities (your parent giving your money to start this bussiness or a friend gifting you some tools if you've been wanting to start crochet and etc). Communication this month will lead to a lots of opportunities. No wonders, it's Aquarius season! It's about emracing yourself and your nature, being surrounded with mind-like people. Another main blessing for you is that you'll move through this month in the state of 'flow', intuitively knowing what to do and smoothly going with your progress. You will finally stop biting yourself for any mistakes or setbacks and you will just enjoy the process by embracing the challenges with inner peace and fulfillment. Energy of this pile feels like floating on a water surface - just this simple but rich feeling of letting go of any resistance and just being, living, cocreating with the Universe. Good for you!

,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Pile 2

My sweethearts! I will bite if you won't love yourself this month enough! I'm seeing so much confidence and determination for you in February. For some it may be a career advancement, for others - excellent grades and success in the choosen field (especially with anything that is somehow relates to fashion, self-care and beauty products). My card literally says 'A very happy ending!' The main message for you is to let go. Just let go of the past situations that made you, for some reason, believe that you're not good enough and get these grades, get this promotion, take that leap of faith and for once, just really believe in yourself. You have no idea how beautiful and capable you are. The next month is bringing you this inner transformation that you've been needed in order to move on, to really grip on that self-control and take important steps towards your goal. If you felt exhausted and tired all the time in January, I'm seeing change here as well. Any setbacks, delays or that constant worry that you feel nonstop is based on your lack of self-confidence and belief in yourself and your capability. Get out of your head, journal more. You'll feel more confident and motivated, you'll receive lots of recognition and praise from others not only for your looks but also for your hard work and growth. It'll get better, I promise you. Just hang in there, angel.

,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Pile 3

You're on receiving end this month. I'm seeing an opportunity to travel, recharge and come back even stronger than before. This is especially significant, if you're 'the mother figure" in your friends group or just literally a mother of a child. You can be extreme with how much you give to others but it didn't fade away unnoticed from your spiritual team and the Universe. They are sending you times where you can just sigh with relief, take some time for yourself and make new plans. You've been working hard for something, you've done the work and now you can let yourself rest and recieve these professional and financial blessings. If you wanted more time for yourself to practice spirituality in any form, I'm seeing the opporunities to do that will happen as well. You're quite intuitive and your skills will be developed and highlighted even more in February. More time with family and friends and your loved ones. Receiving a love confession. Opportunities to lead in the choosen field. Winning a competition. Receiving a scholarship. Moving to a different country because of the study. Focus on yourself and your inner battery. Successful relocation. Seeing beauty in everything around you. Bright times ahead. Your prayers are being answered.

[concretecultist]

Broken Vows

summary: while trying to keep your head above water, Nicholas does the unforgivable.

pairing: fem!reader x nicholas ruffilo

THIS IS PURE FICTION!! Do NOT proceed if these themes are not of your taste.

warnings: ANGST, descriptions of postpartum depression, Mean!Nicholas, negative self talk/image, insecurities, infidelity, mentions of trouble trying to conceive, alcohol consumption

word count: 4.1k

A/N: i told you guys angst is my specialty 🥴 please be sure to comment and reblog 🩷

divider by : @djarrex

~Berry 🫐

———

Nico was a gift to your lives. He was such a beautiful baby boy that you and Nicholas were beyond blessed to bring into this world.

With being together for 6 years, being married for 4 and trying for a baby for 2 of them, despite the difficulties, your baby boy is now here.

But while you can recognize how much you love your son, you just can’t seem to display it. When he cries, you panic and just watch him cry until Nicholas intervenes. There’s times where you can’t even hold him, not being able to accept the skin to skin contact.

In your mind, you were failing to be a good mother to him and it doesn’t help that Nicholas’ mind just seemed to be elsewhere. He doesn’t make eye contact, he doesn’t kiss you, he doesn’t hold you at night and he’s passive aggressive when it comes to your detachment regarding Nico.

At first he seemed to understand, until it was him waking up every time in the middle of the night to put him to sleep because you just stared at Nico in his crib, frozen, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to soothe him.

He was understanding at first until he had to buy formula because you wouldn’t pump, and when you did, it wasn’t enough to properly feed him. Your lack of good production stemming from the stress and not being able to take care of yourself, not eating, not hydrating, nothing.

“He needs his mom, Y/N,” Nicholas grabbed Nico from his crib, the upset infant instantly pacified and the blood curdling cries are finally quiet.

“I can’t bond with him, he doesn’t even know me as is mom!,”

“Because you’re not trying!,”

“I am,” you pull at your roots, speaking through gritted teeth, “I’m fighting for my fucking life here and you’re guilting me about it,”

Nicholas just sighed, he knows this isn’t easy. He had helped you get a therapist and he thought it’d at least help even a little bit. It’s been like this for a month.

“I’m not guilting you! But at the same time we have a son to raise, I know you’re trying, honey, but something has got to give. What are you going to do when we have to go on tour again?,”

“You said that wouldn’t be for a while!!,” you shriek, face wet as you panic, “Nicky, please, I’m not ready,”

You could see his jaw clench and you hate to see him so upset with you, so frustrated. Your mind and body were still healing and despite delivering Nico a month ago, your body just doesn’t feel like yours anymore, you’re confused and the idea that someone now needs you 24/7 was terrifying.

Maybe you were in over your head. Maybe there’s a reason it was so hard to conceive in the first place.

But alas, regardless of Nicholas’ frustration, he still helped get you to therapy, he helped you do some stretches to help get you grounded back into your body.

However, after a while the distance still grew. Once you were at a point where you could be alone with Nico, Nicholas was barely there.

He’d tell you he was leaving and wouldn’t come back until late.

It’s almost like he was punishing you.

Each night he’d come home, hop in the shower and climb in bed, turning his back to you.

Your marriage didn’t feel like a marriage anymore and you’re still waiting to feel that sense of family that so many people talked about.

There’s a night where Nicholas doesn’t come home at all. You’re messaging him, blowing up his phone with calls and voicemails, even going as far as calling the guys but even they’re not answering.

You were up all night crying along with Nico and the only reason he fell asleep is because he cried himself out. You sat in the same spot on the loveseat from sunset to sunrise, you haven’t slept a wink and when you hear his keys jingling, you become more aware of how you look.

Hair all over the place, Nico’s spit up all over your hoodie, dried tear streaks on your face and it just feeds the insecurities that you’ll never “snap back” like all the other moms on social media do.

“Where have you been?,” voice cracking

He doesn’t answer, he just walks past you as if you don’t exist.

“I asked you a question,”

“God, Y/N! Not right now,”

Your breath hitches as you take in his appearance, looking all partied out and hungover, hair up in a messy bun and his clothes all wrinkled.

“I stayed up all night waiting for you! I didn’t know where you were, you didn’t even answer, none of you did!,”

“I told them to turn their phones off,” he replied as if it was the simplest answer. As if he were answering ‘4�� duh’ when asked what 2+2 equals.

The sound that escaped you sounded as if someone had their hands around your throat and you were fighting for your life.

“I needed you,”

“And I needed a break!,” the way he raised his voice had you rearing back against the couch cushion. He’s never raised his voice, “I have been taking care of Nico since the day he came home. I’ve been taking care of YOU, I’ve been bathing him, I’ve been bathing you, I’ve been feeding him and feeding you. I have a child and a wife, I’m not a single dad of two children!,”

All you can do is hold Nico close to your chest as Nicholas’ words soaked into your skin, making it hard for the air to reach your lungs, his words a colorless poison like carbon monoxide.

“Nicky…,” you whimper, “Don’t… don’t say that, I’m trying,”

“And I’m tired!!,” he’s still shouting and if he doesn’t stop, he’ll wake Nico and you can’t handle that right now, “I stayed out with the guys, we had a couple drinks and I crashed at Jolly’s and it was the first full nights rest I’ve gotten in a long time so no, I’m not going to apologize!,”

You just stared at him, scared of the fury that had taken over his once comforting eyes.

“I…,” you hiccup, “I’m… I’m sorry, I’ll be better,”

It finally clicks in Nicholas’ mind how he just reacted and his expression softened.

“Wait, honey. I don’t know why I just-,”

“It’s okay,” you smile through the tears, “I’m going to lay him down and take a shower,”

“I can help you,”

You slowly sit up to lay Nico down in his bassinet and you wrap your arms around yourself as a way to self soothe and make yourself seem smaller under his inquisitive gaze.

“N-no. I’ll be okay,” you try to walk past him but he reaches for your arm gently, slowly spinning you around but you avoid his eyes.

“I love you,” sighing in exhaustion, he says the three words you’ve been needing to hear for the longest. This hasn’t been easy for you either.

But there’s a twinge in his tone, almost as if he’s convincing himself.

You want to believe him, you want to relish the words that should have been coming out of his mouth unconditionally this entire time.

But there’s something deep within his eyes that reads he’s just saying it to placate you.

Not to mention, there’s a sweet smell coming off his clothes.

That of gourmand and ambroxan, like of a subdued jasmine soaked in a lactonic caramel.

It’s unfamiliar and it sure as hell doesn’t belong to you.

Despite getting better and working on your bond with Nico, Nicholas seemed to pull away more and more.

So for tonight, you cooked dinner and wore your favorite colored dress, a dress that he always complimented you in, it was his favorite of yours.

You wore a little make up to brighten up your eyes and make your skin seem hydrated and plump instead of dull and dry.

You had fed Nico and put him down for bed, just wanting some time alone with your husband. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard him enter your shared home, bouncing on the balls of your feet while you stood beside the candle lit dinner on the table.

Except when he entered the dining room, he seemed so unamused. His eyes scanned down your body and to the table with little to no emotion.

“What’s this?,” he questions, setting his jacket on the back of the table.

“Well I figured we hadn’t had a date night in ages, we could use some alone time”

“Y/N…,” he pinched the bridge of his nose as if he was annoyed with the whole set up, “I don’t really have the energy for this right now,”

“It’s just…,” your eyes blink in confusion at his words, trying to hide the sadness. He didn’t even say how pretty you looked, “It’s just dinner, Nicky. C’mon just sit,”

Reluctantly, he did so. It was his favorite dish and yet he looked at it as if it was the most unappetizing slop on his plate.

He doesn’t know that his little expressions and lack of energy are killing your spirit but you’re set on trying.

“It’s your favorite,” you take a small bite, watching as he just sits there with his arms on either side of his plate, fiddling with his thumbs. He’s just sitting as if he’s trying to process something.

“I even baked a cake today! It was a new recipe I got it from this Facebook group I’m in. I was thinking after dinner we could take a bubble bath together like we used to and share a piece! Just like old ti-,”

“I slept with someone else,” he blurts out.

Your lips twitch and your ears start ringing.

“Heh… what?,” your motions come to a halt and the smile is no longer on your face. The candle flames seemed to stop flickering and the world outside seemed to still as you zeroed in on him, “What did you say?,”

He leans forward on the table, moving the plate to the side to rest his head in his hands.

“I slept with-,”

“No, you raise your head and look at me,” you demanded. This has to be some sort of sick joke. Sometimes the guys can take their jokes a little too far. This has to be one of them, right?

He sighed heavily, hands dropping to the table with a light knock as his inked knuckles bump against the mahogany.

Those beautiful eyes that you found a home in, stare back at you and you feel so lost now. Like you’re in a place that seemed familiar but you’re experiencing amnesia.

You know this place but it’s distorted.

“I slept with someone else,” he said clearer.

Your breathing seemed to pick up, thumb cramping from how hard you’re gripping your fork.

“It was a mistake. Y/N please believe me. I-,”

“I was at home… taking care of our baby, battling the PPD, overexerting myself to get back into shape so that you would still want me and your first thought is to sleep with someone else?,”

Your voice was eerily calm, robotic almost. Your fork clanks against the plate when you lose your grip. Everything is starting to feel numb.

“Honey-,”

“You don’t get the call me that anymore,” throat clenching around the words, trying to keep your composure.

“I was drunk,” he tried to justify.

“Did,” clearing your throat, “Did you at least use p-protection?,”

“I don’t think we should get into the details,”

A painful wail echoed throughout the house. You knew his answer. Your hand flies to your mouth to keep your cries in so you don’t wake Nico.

The distance. The perfume. His anger and frustration. It all made sense.

“I would have given you what you wanted,” you tremble at your own words, “I don’t care that I was healing. I would have fucking given you what you needed,”

“No,” He whimpered, “Honey, I don’t know what happened. I drank and you know I don’t drink and it just-,”

Another woman… experiencing your husband in that way, when you needed him was Earth shattering. You hadn’t received a hug from him in weeks, no kiss from him in almost two months now, he doesn’t hold you and the sex stopped about two months before Nico was born.

“Was it the… did the stretch marks turn you off? I started using the cocoa butter, I just needed time,”

You felt so raw, like an exposed nerve and the pain won’t stop. You’re just trying to make sense of it all.

“Don’t do this, Y/N,” he had some nerve to cry right now. This was his doing. He went out and cheated.

“It’s a m-myth that we stay stretched out after birth, it would have felt the same,” you pleaded, “I just needed to heal. I-,”

“No I.. It’s not that. I know that’s a myth! I just, I had too much to drink,”

“I refuse to believe that,” you lament, “It had to be something about me that pushed you to her. I-I got better with keeping up on showering, I’m sorry you had to see me like that I was just so sad all the time I was stuck-,”

“Y/N !,” his fists bang on the table and you flinch, breath trembling.

“I don’t know why I did it and I’m sorry I did it. I’m so sorry, baby. I was… I was stressed out and I blacked out. I know that’s not acceptable but-,”

“You turned your back on your family,” you clenched your chest, it was feeling like your heart was actually breaking, “You do not turn your back on your family!,”

“I love you and Nico,”

“I take you, Y/N Y/L/N, as my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward,” you repeat his vows back to him and you can see him start to get sick to his stomach. How can you love someone and hurt them like this?

“I promise to cherish and love you, to be faithful and to support you through sickness and in health. For rich or for poor until death do us part,” you jab your finger in his direction, images flashing before your eyes from what was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, a day that now meant nothing.

“You said those words!! You lied to me that day, you broke your vows!”

“I didn’t lie. I love you. Y/N, please it was a mistake,”

“This is the last time you lie to me,” this was a man who you’d always follow to the ends of the Earth. The man who made life worth living but has now taken that will away.

“I’m not lying,” he’s groveling, “I drank to ease the pressure but I didn’t know when to stop a-and she was all over me, I thought she was you. I wasn’t in my right mind. I was drunk!,”

“As if being drunk makes it better?,” you whisper, you hate that you’re looking at him and his cheeks are wet. The fucking gall to act like the victim here.

“You gave me Nico! We tried for years. You watched me blame myself for not being able to conceive. You watched as I panicked when we found out we were having him and you watched me struggle to stay alive… watched me struggle to be a mother, you watched me fall apart and instead of keeping your word you run off to get your fucking dick wet?!,”

You stand up from the table, chair screeching against the floor and walk away into the kitchen where he unfortunately follows.

“I love you and I love Nico and I don’t want to lose that,”

“It’s a little too late for that!,”

“Please don’t say that,” he took a step forward but you took two back to get away from him.

“A man… who left me, while I was still recovering, to go party with his friends and sleep with another woman isn’t a man who loves me. You left me to take care of our baby boy knowing I was scared to be alone with him because I don’t know what the FUCK I’M DOING!! But nooo, you couldn’t wait long enough for me to heal. That’s selfishness, that’s not love!,”

You push him but he just stands there and takes it so you do it again and again until you’re pounding on his chest, sobbing at how things fell apart so fast.

“Y/N stop! Stop… Baby, stop!!!,” he grabs your wrists and holds you in place, eyes burning into yours. You don’t know who he is anymore.

“I wish you never told me!,” you gasp for air, “I have a son to take care of, you should have kept it to yourself, you should have continued to lie!,” you push him so hard he actually stumbles back into the wall.

“I couldn’t… it was eating at me, I-,”

“And I hope does for the rest of your life because we are done! You didn’t just hurt me. You hurt an innocent baby boy who doesn’t know any better and I’ll be damned if my son is raised by a ‘man’ who has no respect for his spouse!!!,”

He ran a hand through his hair, panicking about what he has done and how his family is falling apart before it even started. He did this.

There’s no one to blame.

He can’t blame you. You were healing all while falling apart. He knows how common PPD is and yet he centered himself in your own mental health struggles and now he’s here.

It’s his fault.

“How do I make this right, Y/N please? I want to make this work. I love you,”

“Do you have a time machine?,” the rhetorical question made this situation all more real. This was his reality now and he’s ruined something so good, and for what? The man who stood at the altar and declared his love for you in front of the most important people in your lives was not who he sees in the mirror anymore and he’s definitely not who you’re seeing now.

You grip the granite counter, head hanging low. You try to calm down, try to catch your breath but you just can’t.

Picking your head up, your eyes find his once more and your face is stoic, void of any emotions that are overwhelming your nervous system right now.

The hurt of his deception was taking over your body like a virus and there was no treatment to fix it, it has infected you and will slowly deteriorate you over time.

“So what are you going to say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me?,”

Seems dramatic. But it feels like you’re dying. This is a betrayal you never expected. You thought you’d be the exception in life. That you’d get the guy and white picket fence. But you ended up just being another broken hearted woman.

“I love you… so much. Please can we work this out?,”

His begging set something off inside of you and you lost it.

“You don’t cheat on someone you love!,” you threw a vase of flowers, “You don’t cheat on your fucking wife!,” fists pounding in your counter.

“You don’t go out drinking when your wife is left crying at home, beside herself with anxiety that she’ll hurt herself or her son!,” this time it’s a glass plate that you threw like a frisbee in which he dodged just in time.

“I needed you!,” you scream at the top of your lungs, “I needed you! Nico needed you, he needed us!!,”

“Y/N Stop!,” Nicholas shouted over the shattering glass and sobs.

“He needed us but instead you had some random bitch pinned against the wall in some sleazy club bathroom!,” the image makes you sick to envision.

After you throw the last item within your reach, you fall to your knees, clutching your chest as you let out the scream of a banshee.

It hurts to inhale and it feels like you’re having a heart attack.

“Y/N!,” Nicholas rushes over to you and you begin to hear Nico crying in the back.

“Baby, please. Come on!,” his voice becomes muffled like you’re underwater and you can’t make anything out.

He’s blurry and it feels like you’re stuck in a current, trying to keep your head above water, gasping for air but the waves keep dragging you under.

“Y/N!,” he’s shaking you to snap you out of it, to get you back down to Earth but you’re still fighting him off. Still throwing weak punches.

“Come on, baby. Come back to me,”

Your eyes are shut tight as you try to find your breath but it’s not working.

“I’m right here! Just open your eyes! I’m right here!,”

You can’t look at him right now. The fact that he’s even this close to you makes it worse.

“Y/N! Please you’re scaring me!!”

With one last stern shake, you open your eyes, a large gasp echoing in your ears and you’re covered in cold sweats, grasping at what you can reach which are the hot sheets on your bed.

“Hey, shhh. Shhh. I’m right here. It’s okay. You’re safe,” he’s brushing the hair out of your face, your bonnet was nowhere to be found.

“It was just another nightmare,” he whispers.

Your head turns to him and you take in your surroundings.

The white numbers on the digital clock read 2:17 am. Nicholas is in a plain white shirt and his briefs and the moon is shining through the sheer curtains of your room.

You look back to him and your face frowns as your eyes start to burn with the salty drops.

“Was it the same one?,” he asks, all you can do is shake your head.

“Y-you cheated,” you choked, “In this one you l-left me alone with Nico and cheated,”

You see the way the words tugged at his heart, bothering him greatly. He’s trying to hide the hurt on his face but he knows it’s not your fault that your mind is displaying these disconcerting scenes in your head.

“I’d never do that to you,” he caresses your cheek, “Baby, believe me. I would never fucking do that to you. I love you and Nico too much to do that,”

You throw yourself in his arms and just let it all out. This one felt so much more real than the other ones you’ve had before.

Nicholas held you for a bit before he started to ease away but you had a tight grip on his shirt, not wanting him to leave.

“I’ll be right back,” he reassured with a kiss to your forehead, “Nico is up. I’m gonna go get him,” he sat you up against the headboard as you tried to alleviate the uneasiness that soaked your body.

The three week old baby is heard whining when Nicholas brings him in the room.

“You wanna hold him? I think he’s hungry. If not I can get a bottle,”

“I wanna hold him. I need to hold him,”

Nicholas was so gentle when placing him in your arms, even helped you unbutton your night gown so Nico could start to feed. When the baby latched, he was subdued and curled into you, feeling safe in your embrace.

“Your doctor said the nightmares are normal,” Nicholas assured, rubbing his hands on your thighs to ease some of the tension you’re storing in your body.

“I just want them to stop,” You were exhausted. Almost every night since having Nico, you’d woken up in cold sweats and tears. Tonight was so much worse, you were sobbing and thrashing in your sleep, throwing punches at Nicholas as he tried to wake you, unbeknownst to you of course.

“I know it’s a lot but please don’t leave me. Don’t leave us, please,” you flex your jaw, trying to keep your cries to a minimum

“In sickness and in health, Y/N. I meant those words. I will never hurt you or our family, I’d rather die,”

The way he stared in your eyes, this is the man you married. The man in your dreams was just some monster your mind made up, a sick play on your fears.

The mind has a macabre way of playing into your insecurities, attacking itself, like a snake eating its own tail.

But Nicholas was there every step of the way, every nightmare, every therapy appointment, every good day and bad day until you felt like yourself again.

He kept his word.

And he didn’t break his vows.

[lokisprettygirl]

My Love is mine, All mine (18+) (CEO! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon -Modern AU)

Read Chapter 4 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 5 (Last)

Summary : You leave Daemon to protect him from your insecurities and to find some answers.

Warning: 18+, smut, insecurities, miscarriage , mention of abuse, smoking, extreme insecurities and trust issues, mention of infertility, reader has anxiety, mention of infidelity.

Note: I had plans to keep it short and for once I have succeeded as I didn't want to stretch the story unnecessarily. For once I have no idea what I'm going to write next but hopefully the inspiration will strike soon. Thank you to everyone who read and supported this story ❤️🙏🏻

Daemon never realized how loud he was being with his laptop keys whenever he was stressed out of his mind, you were living in one room apartment with him and the sound awakened you at times while he was working on a presentation late at night.

As you sat up on the bed and watched Daemon frantically typing away on his laptop, you couldn't help but notice his thick luscious disheveled hair, no doubt the result of running his fingers through them in frustration, a smile graced your features as it only made you want to pull him in bed and cuddle him.

As you got off the bed, Daemon turned his head to look at you, his eyes locking onto yours. He could see the love and concern in them,

"Did I wake you, my love?" he asked, his voice soft and filled with worry.

Without a word, you walked closer to him and stood behind his chair to massage his tensed shoulders.

The silk nightwear you had on made him want to make love to you right now but he couldn't afford it at the moment, he was looking for a sponsor and he was failing miserably, he had spent his life savings into building and developing this product and the only reason he wasn't living on the streets was because you were here with him, supporting him in every possible way. Feeding him when he forgot to do so, paying the rent when he couldn't contribute, holding onto him when he was giving up on himself.

He snapped out of his thoughts as your fingers trailed down from his shoulder to his forearms slowly, you leaned down to press soft kisses on his neck, your scent made him lean back into the crook of your neck, perhaps he could just calm down, just for a moment

“How long?” you whispered in his ear so he brought his hand up to caress the side of your head.

“I can't sleep darling” his voice came out gravelly, full of tiredness that you just wanted to take away

“Mmmm i know”

You mumbled as you walked around the chair and sat down on his lap as you kissed him passionately, his arms quickly wrapped around your waist, fingers roamed all over as he kissed you with equal intensity.

“Do you have five minutes?” You asked him so he chuckled in response.

“Five minutes huh?”

“Mmmhm I can make you cum in five minutes” his breath hitched as you mumbled in his ear.

At times he felt like a perv, a selfish arse, a beautiful, sweet, young girl like you deserved the world that he wasn't offering you at all but those thoughts vanished as quickly as they would come whenever he felt your loving touch on his skin.

“Do it please” he almost whined in your ears and you were quick to shove your hand inside his pants to grab his cock, all he could do after that was lean back into the chair with his eyes closed and enjoy the moment, enjoy the fact that even at his worst he was blessed with a woman who he knew would never leave his side, no matter what.

Daemon immediately picked up his phone to give you a call as he didn't find you anywhere, members of the staff told him that they saw you leaving with a packed luggage and his heartbeat sped up. Where would you go without telling him and why? Your phone wasn't reachable so he seeked Otto as he knew you must have used his services to go wherever you wanted to go. Otto informed him that you had asked him to drop you at the nearest airport, his heart sank as he heard that, why would you go somewhere without telling him? What were you doing?

He was worried, anxious and was becoming increasingly terrified with every passing second.

The feelings of fear, anger, and confusion washed over him, and he felt powerless, he couldn't do anything but wait for you to get in touch and explain, but then his eyes fell upon the note you had left on the closet door and he was already assuming the worst even before he had read it.

“I am not going anywhere where you can't find me love but I really hope you won't, not for now at least. Before you start worrying let me tell you that I am not leaving forever, and I'm not going to go anything that would hurt you or us, none of that, I just want to love you the way you love me but I have been failing lately.

Everytime I have looked at you in the past few weeks, my eyes held a sense of suspicion, and that's really not fair to you my sweet husband, you're the best man there ever could be, the greatest indeed and I want to be able to treat you like that. Want to show you how much I appreciate you in my life and how lucky I am to have someone like you who's all for me, I want to be able to believe that you're all for me Daemon because I can't go on like this forever, i can't keep hurting you this way when I'm so clouded by my insecurities.

I know you're going to be hurt with my decision and I'd deserve it if you choose to be angry with me and punish me however you see fit but I'll give you a call as soon as I reach there and i hope you'd want to hear my voice because I do, i have not even left the house yet but I already miss you and I am going to miss you terribly.

Pretty sure I'm about to lose my job, luckily you're not my boss ;)

Happy birthday baby, I love you so much even if my actions say otherwise at times, I really do love you alot.

Forever Your wifey”

His eyes welled up as he finished reading the note. He waited anxiously for his phone to ring but two hours had passed already and he was losing patience. He looked around the room and it just seemed hollow without you, that's how you must feel too when he was gone on those long business trips he thought but then he went away for work, while you went away to escape him. This decision of yours had made him worried about your relationship with him, what if the distance makes you realize that he wasn't enough for you?

Or that he was too much for you?

As his phone rang he quickly pressed it up to his ear and sat up on the bed. He wasn't able to speak, there was a lump in his throat that was making him unable to speak to you.

“Dae?” You mumbled softly and immediately heard him sniffling on the other side,

“Comeeee back please darling please come back” his voice came out in broken whispers and in that moment you absolutely hated yourself, more than you usually did anyways.

“I will Daemon, i am not gone forever, did you read my letter?” You asked him softly so he sniffled once more as he wiped his tears.

“I did..I don't understand it darling, aren't we supposed to deal with this thing together?” he asked you, through thick and thin he vowed to be there for you so he wasn't wrong.

“We are together” you told him and the anxiety he had been feeling lessened slightly.

“You promise?”

“I promise..you're stuck with me forever” he couldn't help but chuckle as you said that to him.

“I sure hope so..are you going to tell me where you are?”

“Mmmm in Heathrow..to see my father”

Daemon went quiet for a moment as you said that, you had not spoken to him since he had cheated and divorced your mother.

“Why?”

“To get answers to questions I have never dared to ask..he's the main reason why I am the way I am”

“There's nothing wrong with you my love, not a thing” your eyes welled up again as he said that. Daemon wasn't a reason for your Insecurities, not once in your relationship with him he had made you feel anything but loved thoroughly.

“I love you, you know that right?”

“Then come back to me as soon as you can” his voice was pleading and almost begging for you to return to him.

“I will..soon i promise”

He sighed as he laid down on the bed, he didn't want to overwhelm you, it wasn't like you to take such steps so he knew he'd have to give you time to figure this out on your own if that's what you wanted.

“You were right about her darling” your heart stopped for a second as he spoke.

“What?”

“She's into me” he got worried as you didn't say anything for a good few seconds but then you responded exactly how he had imagined.

“I knew it, that fucking bitchhhh…what did she do?” You asked him so he sighed and sat up again as he detailed everything that had happened after you had left the office party.

“The audacity, I just knew I couldn't trust her”

“She was drunk but that's not an excuse to speak wrongly of my wife” he mumbled softly.

“You defended me? She wasn't completely wrong you know” you told him as you knew how unfair you have been to him in the past few days with your constant suspicions.

“Hey darling? I love you but shut up please”

.. The next few days he was in touch with you via calls only, you didn't even allow him to see you on Skype as you feared it would break your resolve. At the firm Daemon had a difficult decision to make with Sheena, he had given her a notice period so she could look for another job, he was even willing to write a recommendation letter as he didn't want to be cruel. Since that night she hadn't really looked him in the eye, perhaps she was embarrassed, or it was the guilt but he didn't want to speak to her about this.

“Sir, may I say something?” Sheena mumbled as she put the files down on his desk.

“Don't say anything, you're only going to make it worse and you still have to work here for a week”

She looked down as if she was ashamed, she was going to say something but he wasn't interested so she turned around to leave..

As she left he picked up his phone to give you a call and you picked almost immediately.

“Calling me from work? Who are you?” You joked and it made him smile but then his eyes teared up because he missed you terribly, he missed your laugh, your kisses in the morning, he missed touching you not just sexually but in a way that affirmed to him that you did exist in his life and that you were all his.

“I'm calling because I know you won't be home when I go there” your smile faltered as well as he said that. You won't be there today, that was true, but you'd be there soon.

“I miss you alot, i think about you all the time”

“Even while you're showering?”

“Especially while I'm showering” he chuckled as you said that

“Did you see your father?”

“I saw him yes and I was right to come here”

“Did you get the answers you were looking for?”

“I got a few answers”

“And?”

“I need help–”

“I'm here sweetheart” your eyes teared up as he said that, always so kind and supportive and you had been taking this for granted.

“You can't help me baby..i love you so much and I don't want to ruin what we have” he sighed as you said that. If you had said something like that to him in person he'd have just wrapped his arms around you to comfort you but you weren't there.

“You can't..no matter what you do or say when you're not feeling so good, you can't ruin us…you can't make me unlove you…it's too late my sweet girl”

“God you're insufferable” you mumbled softly as tears made you unable to speak any further.

You wanted to go home, you wanted to hold onto your husband and never leave him again.

You still remembered the first time he was hit on by a woman right in front of your eyes, his business had begun to do well, he had bought this new apartment for you two where he had invited all the ten employees for a dinner party.

One of the guys had brought a female friend of his. As soon as she stepped into your home she had her eyes on him, you saw the immediate crush she had developed so quickly, now he wasn't just a genius or just another good looking man but he was also becoming richer everyday and women liked that alot.

But you were right there, right in front of your eyes that woman flirted with him and that's when you felt that first wave of insecurity coursing through you regarding your position in his life, even though he had shot down her advances immediately you felt scared, if they were willing to do it right in front of you then he must be facing such temptations all the time and you couldn't help but wonder how long he'd ignore it.

You had asked your father why he had chosen to cheat on your mother, and why he chose to ruin his marriage and leave his daughter behind. He gave you a short simple answer, something that you had hoped to hear, he told you that it wasn't your mother's fault, it was all him, he cheated because he wanted to and not because of something your mother had done to him that made him want to take that step. He knew the heartbreak it would cause but he went ahead with it anyway because he didn't care.

Your father was a different man, and so was Shelley's husband, Daemon wasn't like that, he'd never hurt you this way, he'd never go out of his way to break your heart.

The following night as Daemon reached home it was quiet, usually he'd hear the murmurs of the staff working but it was eerily quiet tonight, when he went upstairs he found you standing on the door wearing your sexiest nightwear.

He wanted to run to you and hug you but the way you looked at him made him stop in his tracks.

You bit on your lips as you looked at him from head to toe, he looked deadly on a given day but the all black suit he had on was your demise. You were going to seduce him, use your charm to apologize but you found yourself bewitched instead.

“Hiiii” you mumbled softly as you leaned against the door frame so he walked closer to you and placed his hands on the wall, trapping you between his body and the door. He wasn't saying anything, was just staring with an intensity that made you nervous and made you drip at the same time.

“You can be upset with me, you should be” you mumbled as you loosened his tie so he grabbed your hand to stop your movement before he turned you around and pressed you against the closed bedroom door flat on your stomach, next thing you knew your hands were tied using the same tie.

“Never again you hear me? You're not going to just take off without telling me first” he whispered in your ear before his lips latched onto your neck and he sucked a mark that you knew would last for days.

“Never again I promise..i promise” you could barely speak coherently because his fingers had reached under your dress already, fingers played with your clit mercilessly as he brought you closer to your release. It's been a while and you hadn't touched yourself in his absence, you wanted to wait and suffer for this very moment.

That night was eventful, he made you cum right against the door, then you sucked his cock like a whore while you told him how sorry you were and then he fucked you on the bed, his thrusts and words equally possesive, equally desperate.

When you woke up the next morning he didn't go to work, he stayed home all day with you and treated you like a queen, he apologized for being neglectful even though he wasn't.

You didn't come back home all fixed as if you never had any problem, far from it, but now you knew that you had a major problem and you knew you needed someone to tell you that, someone to hear you and someone to help you with your thoughts. You knew you needed therapy and you were determined to get it.

A few months later you were out shopping with Daemon for Christmas and perhaps it was just your luck but you bumped into Sheena, literally, you bumped right into her.

"I have been meaning to speak with you Mrs Targaryen" Sheena spoke to you so you looked at Daemon confused.

“I'll go look for that thing you keep asking about” he mumbled softly as he kissed you briefly so you gave him a smile and watched him walk away from you both.

“Mrs. Targaryen” she smiled as she spoke so you reverted it. You didn't want to be rude, there was no point anymore.

“Just call me y/n, he's not your boss anymore” you told her so she nodded

“I know you must not care but I really wanted to apologize” you crossed your arms as she said that.

“For hitting on my husband or for insulting me?”

Okay you couldn't help yourself.

“For both, I was..just jealous of you to be honest”

Your eyes narrowed as she said that, you were jealous of her, why on earth was she jealous of you?

“Why is that?”

“You seem to have it all, you have everything I have ever wanted but never had. I was out of line and it was just my jealousy speaking..nothing else” she looked down as she spoke before she continued “Daemon is a good man and anyone with eyes can see it but if he chose you then there must be a reason for that right? My life was in shambles at the time and i misspoke, i couldn't help but wonder why I couldn't be you and have a good job, a good husband, a perfect life”

You chuckled as she said that.

“My life is not perfect Sheena, nobody's is”

“I understand that, I just wanted to apologize because I feel guilty about what I had done, my stupidity caused me a job i really loved” you could tell that she was being genuine but you didn't want to entertain her further, therapy hadn't turned you into a saint. At the end of the day she was a woman that had tried to hit on your husband and you didn't want her anywhere around him or you for that matter.

“I'm sorry but you're capable of doing great things, don't be so hard on yourself”

As Daemon returned you gave Sheena one last smile and she mumbled a greeting before she walked away. You spent weeks feeling inferior to her and for what? She was insecure as well, even with all that she possessed she was insecure, her insecurities were different that yours but not any less debilitating.

“Are you alright baby?”

You looked at your gorgeous husband as he asked you and you couldn't help but smile. Lucky, you had gotten so lucky.

You were more than alright, you felt good, you felt happy, you felt perfect in that moment.

Because now you believed, deep down in your heart you knew that your love was yours. All yours.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Taglist

@anukulee @erebus-et-eigengrau @daenny-t @123forgottherest @mcufan72 @dixie-elocin @shuichiakainx @ammo23 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @avalyaaa

@powellssaturn @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

[hyog-blog]

Fangs of Fortune (ep.03 - ep.05)

Oh god, where do I start? Everyone has become less stabby now, but mildly insulting each other seems to be the new form of flirting (between, like, everyone?). Okay, between the Zhuo Yichen - Zhu Yan - Wen Xiao trio for sure. I'm seeing you, guys, you don't have to be so obvious about it XD

That flirtatious contract-signing procedure with Wen Xiao, and Zhu Yan calling Yichen 'better than a dog', and Wen Xiao calling demons 'pets', and then Zhu Yan offering her to become one. I mean come on XD

"Here's some free demonic energy, so you can easily kill me later." Is this romantic or what? XD The kind of demonic romance this show seems to be excelling at. Manly healing handholding - check ✔

Also, Li Lun appears out of the darkness with the broodiness of an ex who was left behind by Zhu Yan after giving birth to the Wilderness after doing some powerful wibbly wobbly timey wimey demonic magic stuff (supposedly, he was ditched for a woman, now dead, who was supposedly killed by Li Lun, now imprisoned). And now the poor guy has to compete with yet another pretty woman and an even prettier young man.

I mean, Li Lun, brother, I get it, Zhu Yan is a babe, but killing off your ex's friends and lovers won't make him like you more, that's just not how things work. And judging by the fact that Li Lun got all chained up in some cave, he probably messed up badly. Killed the previous Bai Ze Goddess? Or did something equally un-cool.

Our gorgeous Zhu Yan is a walking and talking Red Flag, although, the kind you want to wrap around yourself and never let go. I mean, how do they manage to withstand his demonic charm? I seriously have no idea)))

Hou Minghao had a serious demonic glow-up. I loved him as a dragon in Back from the Brink (where he was equal parts cute and beautiful), but this regal demonic deity he's channeling here is just wow. Where did all that come from? And once again, it's paired with a decent amount of creepy-ish cuteness (like, it's slightly weird to call a many-thousand-year-old powerful demon lord cute, but he's also not not cute, you know what I mean? XD)

And god bless all the sponsors who made all these pretty fantasy fights possible (the post-production team, I'm looking at you). Also the quality of the picture is incredibly good - everything is so movie-like, I can't even imagine the budget that went into this. But I'm glad they had it!

The vibe of the show is so, ah XD I can't even say it's queer, but it kind of is? With a possibility of multiple polycules wherever you look (or maybe it's just me and my mind playing tricks, but I'm enjoying this to the fullest).

And the way Yichen sneezes every time someone (Zhu Yan especially) is talking about him XD So cute. Bai Jiu is hilarious - screaming like the girliest girl at every prospect of danger and fainting at the sight of dead bodies. The most believable 13-year-old in the history of cdrama)))

I'm loving all the characters so far and patiently waiting for the tragedy of the death of the previous Bai Ze goddess to fully unfold (Wen Xiao's memories hint at more upcoming drama with Zhu Yan).

[ominouslywritinginmyhead]

iwaizumi hajime x reader; fluff/angst, feudal au

inspired by Philippa Gregory’s The Lady of the Rivers

wc: 998

The fire crackles in the hearth by the time Hajime returns home.

It has been a long, yet well-spent day: the bears are retreating into the mountains for the rest of the autumn, and Lord Oikawa will have a nice new bearskin pelt to show off when he visits the royal court next spring. All in all, a productive hunt. And the hunter is now hungry.

Your face glows from flickering orange flames as you prepare supper: a simple fare of rice, soup, and tofu with bonito shavings. A far cry from the meals you were once used to, but the contentment in your eyes is enough to make Hajime hope you don’t regret coming here.

Hana, the only maidservant brave enough to follow you to this out-of-the-way province, guides you in preparing the meals. “Yes, I think that’s enough, my lady,” she says patiently. “Just let it simmer for a few minutes, and it’ll be ready to eat.”

“Thank you,” you tell her softly. Your sweet yet measured voice brings the freshness of spring into the house despite it being a cold autumn night. The gods must favour him above all others, Hajime thinks, for why else would he be able to come home to such a beautiful, lovely wife?

Mere weeks ago, Hajime thought he was fortunate to escape with his life, never mind his bride and the small plot of land you two now call home. But as he settles into his fifth month of marriage, he finds that this shabby little estate is more blessed than any other place in the world. For this land, this house…they now hold the woman he loves the most. They hold his whole world.

You raise your head, and see him standing in the corner, watching you with the smallest of smiles on his lips. “Welcome back, danna-sama,” you greet, bowing deeply.

Hajime wishes you wouldn’t be so formal with him. This is not a royal marriage. The two of you can live as easily and freely as birds in the sky.

But even he knows the gods cannot grant him everything.

“I’m home,” he replies.

“Supper is almost ready,” you tell him. “Once you’ve eaten, I can prepare the bath. You must have had a tiring day.”

“I did,” he admits, joining you at the hearth. The warmth soothes him after a day out in the cold. A single brown leaf falls from his hair and onto the rough floor underneath. The house is old, and was hardly used before you and he arrived, but there’s nothing a few tools can’t fix. Hajime’s already made sure the roof and walls are ready to withstand the upcoming winter. He had better check on the firewood supply soon.

You dismiss Hana, who gives Hajime a friendly wink. He has known her a long time - ever since she was a lowly maidservant at the royal palace and he was a humble soldier pining for the young Emperor’s cousin. He wouldn’t even have known you loved him back had she not whispered it to him in passing on that beautiful spring morning.

“How did you spend your day?” Hajime asks, watching the soup bubble in the pot.

You think for a moment. “After you left, I checked the tools we’ll need to harvest the vegetables tomorrow,” you say. “Once I finished that, Hana and I brought in some water from the well. Then…oh, we went to the market to sell some pottery.”

“Pottery?” Hajime repeats. Then he remembers.

The delicate vases Hana packed so carefully as your exile was announced at court. The painted pots you had arranged so beautifully in your old rooms. The long-necked pot that was a gift from your father - the son of an Emperor himself.

Gone. All gone.

Along with the illusion he’s held in his mind all these months.

“We got a good price,” you continue, not noticing the drooping of his firm shoulders; the fact that you and Hana were able to drive a hard bargain has you lost in another world. “Danna-sama, you should have heard what they were offering us at first! Goodness me, if it hadn’t been for Hana, we might have been robbed! What would I do without her?”

Hajime thought he could provide you with a good life. He could scoff now at his naïveté: how is this a ‘good’ life when you have to sell the few possessions you were allowed to bring here? How is it a good life when you now reside in a shabby, worn-down wooden house, far away from the royal luxuries you called your own? How is it a good life when the former saiō of Ise Shrine, one of the most eligible royal brides in the country, is now living as the wife of a humble soldier, banished from court for making such an outrageous marriage? You and he were lucky to leave the court alive.

The night of your wedding, Hajime promised to keep you happy and safe. He’s already come close to breaking that promise.

He’s already failed as a husband.

“She chose you,” Lord Oikawa once told him, in the early days of the exile. “She could have had the riches of the court, but this is the life she chose. Don’t underestimate her: she knew what she was getting into.”

As your cousin (and now, unfortunately, Hajime’s cousin by marriage), Lord Oikawa knows you well, so perhaps he spoke the truth. Even so, Hajime’s heart twists into a painful knot as he watches your delicate hands - having known little beyond conducting rituals and writing poetry - stir the bubbling soup one final time before pouring some into a wooden bowl.

You gave up everything for him. You chose to give up everything for him.

The miso soup is saltier than Hajime is used to. But does it come as a surprise? No, not really.

At least you’ve turned back to the hearth - that way, you won’t see his tears.

Tagging @anonimusunnoaniswriting for funsies and because we’ve discussed this au in the past 😇

[punkpandapatrixk]

[PPA Masterlist] [corresponding PAC]

🍯New Age Money ★ Concept Affirmations

🍯main character🍯

I am the main character of an exciting Life. It is MY Life. I live in a world surrounded by Kindness. I make my world exciting, joyful, and full of adventures. I have a sense of purpose. I learn and study all kinds of things that are interesting to me. I intend to be useful to my community and make the world a better place. I am unwavering in my pursuit. I meet helpful people. I meet kindhearted souls who are patient with me as I work out my place in this world. I belong in this world. People appreciate my effort and support my passion. I am appreciated for just being. I am the main character of an exciting Life!

🍯divine talents🍯

I am a divine being blessed with many talents. I was born to fulfil an exciting role. I have in me all that’s needed to fulfil my Destiny. I follow my heart to refine my skills. I have great discipline and develop myself accordingly. What I do is important. I am important. My dreams and daydreams show me where I need to go where I’m needed. I have complete faith in my abilities. I am the best at what I do. I am extraordinary and the most unique of them all. I am unshaken in the face of adversity. I learn from my mistakes. I grow myself with healthy self-esteem. I respect myself and my boundaries. Life is an exciting adventure where my divine talents are needed!

🍯Lyfe Purpose🍯

I step into my Life Purpose. I live an authentic Life. I am strong in my conviction. I don’t worry about a lack of support. I never worry about a lack of money. The Universe takes care of all of my basic needs. I am protected by my Higher Self. I am shielded from great harms by my team of Spirit Guides. I am supported by the Cosmos in my pursuit of realising my Life Purpose. My Life is all about learning and experiencing. I am secure and safe. I am able to rest peacefully when my body mind and soul need a recharge. I make beautiful memories with interesting people. I develop great friendships. I am of service. I am always taken care of.

🍯easy currency🍯

I easily monetise my divine talents. I am well-compensated for all the work that I do. I am appreciated for my honest passions. All of my income is positive. I am unaffected by the streams of negativity attached to my income. I easily transmute lingering negative aenergy attached to my income. I am happy with my income. I am grateful for my income. People are glad to pay for my products and services. People are happy with my products and services. People are grateful for my products and services. I receive generous amounts of income. I get a lot of gifts for any work well done. I live in ease and abundance. I am prosperous and generous.

🍯time management🍯

I have an abundance of Time. I have an abundance of aenergy to manage my tasks. I have all the time in the world to do what I want when I want. I work and study at my own pace. Time is on my side. Time is my friend. I am relaxed. I am at peace. I know everything is as it should be. I accept Divine Timing. I am not in a competition with Destiny. I’m never in a hurry. No task is ever an emergency. I manage my time masterfully. I enjoy my Life, here and now. I am always in alignment. I am on time. Time is my friend. Time is on my side. Time comes to my aid. I have an abundance of Time.

🍯unmatched luck🍯

I am a lucky being. I am blessed with good fortune. Everything turns out in my favour. I see God’s message in everything that unfolds before me. I believe in the benevolence of the abundant Universe. My faith is unmatched. I believe in myself. I trust my path. Lady Luck loves me. Lady Luck favours me. I am the world’s luckiest being. I easily manifest good fortunes. I am met with positive life experiences at every turn. I have the best luck in the world. My faith and my goodness are my strongest lucky charms. The Universe gladly bestows me with lucky opportunities. I manifest rare opportunities. I come on top. I win every competition. I am a lucky being. I have unmatched Luck!

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[upn-the-sky]

General Kratos (no-ashes OOAK, part 1)

The headline is a spoiler itself, but whatever, because today is the day, when i finally can share the part of my latest work!

This is going to be my second custom of the action figure and long story short. When I had a first thought about having a tan-skinned human Kratos, I was blessed with rare enthusiasm, because we don't have any official figures of Kratos in his "golden ages" as a human and general of the Spartan army (WHY).

It would be easy just to repaint figure from mass production, but those figures are all post-vow-to-Ares. And we need to be canon. If we make Kratos from the timeline when his soul was still his, we make him fully-General!!

Why not to go under the cut to see how is it going?

Everything starts with the head as usual. I bought it last fall, I guess? You have no idea how hard it is to find a bald head with a beautiful scull. With the right proportions of the face to match the body and to match Ares. (They are going to stand together). All "action heads" are different and rarely interchangeable and I guess I used all my luck at this step, because things became so problematic after, that I nearly lost my mind. In a time I also bought a head of a nordic Kratos in a hope to make my life easier, and oh god it is giant even for a giand body I have.. This head now in my scrap.

Anyway. Let's look at our donor. Don't know who is this...

You probably think 'meh he doesn't look like Kratos' and you are right! But what do I have here? A KNIFE!

The plan was simple, I just needed to cut off his neck and face and re-sculpt this head entirely.

Step. By step. I cut and build again his eyes, eyebrows, nose, lips, chin, cheekbones, jawline, forehead, nape... until I started to see him. Hi~

Actually, you never can say, how the sculpt will show itself after painting. It is the most cruel and frustrating thing, you can like the result, but the face easily can play uno reverse card with you in the end. With those thoughts I made a new neck for him. Because default neck of the body I chose was too long and wide and has an absolutely useless point of artuculation. First try, second try, and after curing it still seemed a bit too long, so after passing some time I cut the bottom of the head a bit to set it deeper.

After finishing the sculpting I sended all and prepared everything for toning head and neck with the airbrush. Aaaand here my airbrush died. When I bought a new one with a normal compressor, I proceed. Somehow I repaint it 5 or 6 times in a row. God bless my "red stone" primer, really. Quick color match test! Nice?

Nice! Now we can finally paint his face and body. Really I have no idea how doll customizers uses pencils for such a small faces. How! Brushes and a liquid paint is the only option for me. And I am happy about improving my technique since I painted Ares! ❤

By the way, his scar is carved, you can feel it, it is just hard to see it at photo.

Oh gosh here I had a big exhalation, because sculpt didn't do a sucker punch to me, while it could. I didn't give him a too angry face for a yet-secret reasons, but wow.. he is.. so young. ?? and.. human-like It is easy to forget that there were time, when Kratos wasn't 200% done. It is so mind-wrecking. I.. it is hard to show at the pictures how much life and personality he actually has irl. I will gave you a better pictures next time, when I get used to him, I just see now how easily electric and natural lights and shadows change the perception of his face. But.. still wow.. He needed the last thing. His beard. Here could be a lot of curses, because it ate 3 days and 4 tries to glue and form it, but it won't be here! Let's just have a small laugh, because I used actual goat wool for his goatee. And we finally can assemble him!

What's next you ask?

I kinda have nothing to say except 'I am making his Dominus armor now 👺'.

Thank you for watching and commenting in tags if you did it when I made Ares doll, I love you guys

Stay tuned! Skeletor will return very soon!