#<- again it's not thoughts it's a full on rant
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Lovely folks... it is time for Art Summaries of the Years.
In this case, 2023 and 2024 both in one go, as I had forgotten to make one for 2023 at the end of the last year.
Thanks for sticking around during 2024 as well! Here's to hoping for a better new year, for everyone. Below the cut a little rant... a speech if you will.
In 2024 I also breached 1,000 followers on tumblr which, for me, was a crazy milestone to say the least! I've had this art blog since 2017? 2016 even? And I never thought I'd reach such an amount of followers here, but to be completely honest, I was even more excited than I was when I reached that number on twitter. Tumblr is far from perfect but I still do prefer it much more than that other site, lol.
This year I tried to experiment more with colors, dynamism, and drawing more gay stuff. I think I've gotten better at it. I also worked and FINISHED a COMIC! Never seen before stuff (if you haven't read it yet, smh... you should - it's very short and amateurish, but I'm happy with it). I hope to keep this ante up for the coming year. I've come to really be proud of my art after learning to have fun with it again.
I've gotten more confident with my anatomy and shapes after learning that sometimes to make my life easier tracing is okay, actually, especially since what I draw isn't for profit. Unfortunately commissions are permanently off the records since I work full-time as a freelancer, but I had fun with Artfight this year, even if I didn't draw as much as I did last year.
Getting into Baldur's Gate 3 was like a blessing and a curse at the same time and getting into VTM: Bloodlines was like actually a blessing. I think you can see the progression in this year's summary how caught up I got on it, there's like 3 pictures with Temerice on it and 2 with Ranx. Very funny.
Anyhow, closing words... I dunno what else to say. Thanks 4 sticking around. See you very soon with more art already!
#summary of art meme#art summary#art summary 2024#art summary 2023#duck.pix#i think this counts under this idr#anyway thanks if you read even the rant lol
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---WRITTEN A WHILE AGO AND KEPT IN DRAFTS FOR WEEKS UNTIL I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AGAIN---
i hate how comfortable most of the mouthwashing fandom is with calling a disabled burn victim "a baby", or making fanart of him BASICALLY representing him like some kind of pet. his wide eyes are not for your cutesy purposes. he does not look like "the autism creature" because of his limbs. you guys are infantilizing and absolutely dehumanizing this character, and through him, in a sense, showing a few of your unfiltered thoughts about the disabled community! he is not the silly mascot of the group!!! HE IS A FLESHED OUT DEEP CHARACTER WITH HIS OWN MORALS AND HIS OWN MISTAKES!!!! AND HIS STATE DOES NOT MEAN HE BECAME A THOUGHTLESS BLAMELESS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS NOT A PET NOR A MASCOT!!!!! JUST DRAW POLLE THE PONY (THE ACTUAL MASCOT) AS THE MASCOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what in the actual hell is wrong with you people.
to be CLEAR this isn't only about the fandom on tiktok : i've seen countless fanarts on here being like "he looks so cute here", or drawing the other characters "holding him" like a plushie or a pet (if you can visualize what i mean) and damn, unfortunately tumblr is just as bad as tiktok sometimes
ALSO this isn't either about being able to find humor in media that aren't comedies, because yes the babygirl/blorbo/pathetic meow meow thing is prevalent in every fandom imaginable and especially for older, "masculine/tough" male characters. Which I understand even if I don't partake in it, since it's all just one big joke. Hannibal Lecter or Gus Fring covered in blood is babygirl, let's put a bow png on him. hahaha. how novel. But this is not what's happening here. you guys are not calling him baby or babygirl because he's hot or the comedic effect of calling an edgy tough guy a baby. the joke is supposed to be about the absurdity/contrast of calling those kinds of characters (murderers, criminals, old mean guys, buff masculine superheroes, or in general "stereotypical" masculine guys) "babygirl". But here it seems overwhelmingly sincere. and that's extremely concerning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if you want to look at it from a different/narrative perspective :
obviously there was thought put into why this happened to curly, why he looks like this, why jimmy's the one who put him through this, why it's jimmy that gives him the painkillers and why the painkillers are pills in the first place. there is thought behind his state and how it mirrors anya and what jimmy put her through. and not only is curly a metaphor for society IN OUR CURRENT MODERN WORLD in his reaction and INACTION towards what happened, the FANDOM/PUBLIC's reaction to curly and the overall plot is also a great mirror to hold up to ourselves. I won't go into detail about my full analysis of this BUT AlleyDreamer's "You Are Missing The Point of Mouthwashing" youtube video, and @/luckylefty's tiktoks about the games are both eloquent and clear and i highly recommend watching them.
SO....if you view curly's impotence, suffering, dehumanization. and overall physical state as something that can be meme'd or funny, you probably have not considered that part of the narrative that the game developers explored. and if you have and think that somehow it's still all good jokes to make EVEN when considering that joking about his state is also making a joke out of anya, out of women, out of disabled people, DAMN do you absolutely SUCK. is that really the best you can come up with?
SO. all in all. i understand lightening the mood of the fandom by ignoring the elephant in the room and choosing to just focus on jokes, but PLEASE stick to jokes about the group and their game nights and the shenanigans, daisuke and swansea's father-son relationship, or even the game's low-poly graphics and animation - hell, stick to replaying that swansea twerking clip again and again. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING ON THIS EARTH KEEP YOUR ABLEISM, SEXISM/MISOGYNY AND TONE-DEAFNESS TO YOURSELF !
ok rant over cough cough
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#mouthwashing fanart#mouthwashing analysis#ableism mention#ableism in fandoms#just a long rant in general#if i get one “that one too woke friend” joke in my asks i'm gonna riot DO YOU HEAR ME.#GOOD NARRATIVE MEDIA WITH POLITICAL MESSAGING IS BOUND TO STRIKE UP POLITICAL CONVERSATIONS!!
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Guys
I beg you
For the love of everything that you find holy
WHY do we need gendered languages?
It's bad enough that you need someone's gender to talk about them in English, but like... French? Spanish? Italian? German? All the other gendered languages?? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME????
Like who decided that a table is a male and a teapot is a female or all the other shit like that?
#ik i'm one to talk because hungarian is hard as hell#BUT WE DON'T HAVE THAT GENDER NONSENSE#it's just one pronoun for he/him she/her and they/them#JUST ONE AND WE'RE GETTING BY TOTALLY FINE#not to mention that giving NOUNS a gender#why#anyway thank you for listening to my rant#tunguszka thoughts#<- again it's not thoughts it's a full on rant
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if anyone seeing this post is under the impression that not attending university lectures is fun and edgy. let me paint you a picture. you are going to look at your calendar one day soon and realise your final is in 38 hours and you still have 17 and a half hour long lectures to watch and take notes from.. and while this is possible to achieve it's not exactly relaxing. yeah i'm still fine-tuning my academic skills what abt it
#aha. ahahaa. ahahaaa.#no okay HEAR ME OUT. this is actually the best position i've been in all year academically 💔 i've taken every final so far this year w/o#having seen any lectures... & in my defense i wasn't skipping bc i thought it was fun or edgy. the real reasons are just too fucked up#to explain. i still wish that i had been better this term. i wish i had been able to make things turn out differently. i am always wishing#but now the only thing left to do is try my best with the time i have left and start again next year#anyway here is an insight into the strange and terrible grief that is my academic life.#so far it is a life mostly full of mistakes. but i will not give up.#it will continue. things will improve.#🐝#SORRY ABT THIS RANT. DIDNT MEAN TO SAY SO MUCH#this was ... supposed to be a joke post#DONT WORRY ABT ME I HAVENT FAILED ANYTHING YET AND IM NOT INTENDING TO START NOW
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TD World Tour AU, where Noah doesn't tell Owen that Alejandro is an eel in London... In Area 51, Noah is accidentally splashed with an alien truth potion (which wears off after a few days) and he talks to Owen... Owen asks Noah what he truly thinks about Alejandro, and Truth-Potion Affected Noah says this: "I have mixed feelings for Alejandro. He's a brilliant, interesting guy and I like him, but I don't trust him. He's like a slippery eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. Basically, Heather with social skills. Wait a minute, why am I telling you this?!"... What if Alejandro secretly heard Noah call him all those conflicting things + Alejandro also learns that Noah is affected with an alien truth potion? 👽
Alright, you got me. I'm an absolute sucker for truth potion plots, especially when the character(s) effected by them are usually either pathological liars or incredibly secretive- of which Noah absolutely falls into the second category, given he shares so little personal information.
I'll gloss over why Noah declined to shit-talk Alejandro in London (though there's so many ways this change in behaviour could be justified) since the focal point of this hypothetical centred around their time in Nevada, so let's start from the beginning of the Area 51 challenge.
Area 51:
Before we start, it'll have to be established that no one was eliminated in London. Let's say that the majority vote went towards Duncan (team CIRRRRH voted him out immediately because they found his re-admission to the competition unfair, I guess. I imagine he'd also vote himself, if not as a plan to escape the competition he'd been actively skiving from, then just as an act of spite) but Chris instead claimed it was a rewards challenge- much like he does in Greece- because he doesn't want to let Duncan slip away again so soon.
I see no reason to alter the first part of the challenge- the sneaking into Area 51 portion- since team CIRRRRH's course of entry is fairly straightforward. Noah's presence doesn't make much of a difference to how it would play out; the majority of them throw their rocks and run, Owen gets lasered over the fence and Owen-napped, ect ect.
When both teams have managed to make their way into the Black Box Warehouse, Noah immediately suggests they should prioritise rescuing Owen. Tyler's quick to agree, since he's a firm believer in the "no man left behind" mentality (and he probably makes a not-so-subtle jab towards Noah for his chance of tune compared to London, where both he and Owen did leave Tyler behind) leaving Duncan and Alejandro to split from the group- Duncan in search of Gwen, and Alejandro just takes the opportunity to finally be free from his 'incompetent teammates' and prioritises finding an artifact.
Noah and Tyler come across the contraption Owen's trapped in, Tyler punches it in a futile effort to break it open, and the face hugger cube drops into Noah's hands. This is where the point of divergence comes into play; Tyler has his E.T. moment with one of the face huggers, but Noah- who's a tad bit more observant than Alejandro, and used to dodging surprise attacks from his various older siblings (and Izzy)- anticipates his own face hugger attack and promptly starts a game of cat-and-mouse with a taser alien hot on his heels.
The commotion of which attracts the rest of his team. Alejandro and Duncan arrive on the scene to see Tyler being electrocuted by an alien and Noah running in circles evading another.
Duncan attempts to rip the face hugger from Tyler's face, finding success at the cost of sending Tyler trampling into Owen's captive contraption (essentially taking Alejandro's canonical place in this scene) and inadvertently freeing Owen.
Meanwhile, Alejandro swipes up the nearest box he can find and snags the alien chasing Noah, who's still very loudly panicking as he flees, and succeeds! The alien is swiftly captured into the box, netting team CIRRRRH their artifact, and Noah promptly goes careening into the nearest tower of junk in his face hugger-fuelled hysteria. This causes another box to topple from the peak of the tower, landing directly on Noah's head and spilling its contents onto the bookworm- glass vials filled with a mysterious, luminescent cobalt blue liquid shatter into pieces drenching Noah in whatever they contained. (i.e. truth potion.)
Owen has his false-amnesia moment, characterised by his Joker makeover, and Alejandro enacts his revenge post-hypnotic suggestion after being addressed as "Al" one too many times.
Noah, understandably, swiftly objects to Owen's treatment and demands that Alejandro snap him out of it. Alejandro concedes, and Owen's brought back to himself. At least, for a moment, before the fatigue of having his mind messed with sends Owen into near-catatonia (the same as canon), meaning he has to be ferried through the Warehouse and back to the Jet by Alejandro and Duncan.
Things carry on canonically from there; Noah's just sort of there for the most part, though there'd be a minor hint to his newfound proclivity for honesty. Something along the lines of him giving an uncharacteristically honest answer to Owen as to who he's voting- Tyler, of course, since he was the one who ultimately threw the challenge for them... and also because Tyler still holds some resentment towards Noah for what happened in London, and Noah feels guilty about it every time he looks at the jock. Wait, why did he say that?
Sometime between this and the elimination scene, Noah wipes the truth-goop off of himself, but not before the effects have already started.
Tyler's voted out, yada yada yada.
The Jet:
Thus begins the start of "Picnic at Hanging Dork". Team CIRRRRH, consisting of just Alejandro, Duncan, Owen and Noah, are slumming it up in the Economy Cabin. Alejandro tries to rally his team by asking how to break apart Courtney and Heather's tentative co-operation. Owen suggests having Alejandro seduce Heather, since it worked for both Bridgette and Leshawna. Duncan makes his "Babe Olympics" comment. Noah pipes up that playing with someone's feelings is pretty scummy, even for someone competing for a million dollars.
Alejandro takes Noah's reluctance towards his methodology poorly; he hadn't spoken up before, when Alejandro had utilized the same strategy against other girls- and even Owen noticed that, so surely Noah did too- so why was he to outwardly against him using the same tricks? Duncan agrees, and offers ''his'' idea of having Alejandro flirt with Courtney to throw both her and Heather off their games (since Heather has an obvious crush on Alejandro), and things follow canon.
Then, the scene between Alejandro and Courtney happens. Noah scoffs at the display from the side lines, prompting Owen to ask him why he's so against Alejandro's plan.
"I mean, you never said anything before, when he flirted with Bridgette and Leshawna." Owen comments, light-hearted in nature but with an underlying questioning tone.
Noah's eyes flicker with a cobalt glow, easily mistaken for a trick of the light, and he speaks without even thinking.
"Yeah, because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Bridgette was happenstance, and Leshawna's whole deal could've been a coincidence, or some massive misunderstanding. But this?" Noah extends an accusing hand out towards a smug looking Alejandro, then pans it over to a flattered Courtney, "He's outright toying with Courtney's feelings after she was cheated on in front of an international audience. It's scummy."
Owen nods in understanding, momentary contemplation evident in the pouted curve of his lips, and he chimes in.
"Does that mean you don't like Al?"
"I never said that."
"Well, how do you feel about him, then?"
Again, a flash of blue light against the hickory backdrop of Noah's eyes, and he responds thoughtlessly.
"I guess I have mixed feelings about him. On the one hand, he's slippery, like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. He's like if you took all of the worst aspects of Heather, wrapped them up in a pretty package, and gave them social skills..." He holds his hands out before him in a scale-like manner, with the left tipped downwards and tie right raised by his chin. Then, the two hands swap positions.
"And on the other hand, he's brilliant. I've never met anyone as talented as Alejandro; he's smart, he's athletic, he's funny. It's almost unfair just how perfect everything about him is- even his face is perfect. It's ridiculous! Infuriating, even. It's so hard to dislike him, even when I know he's bad news, but that doesn't mean I trust him."
Owen stands slack jawed beside his best friend, both impressed and stunned at the raw honesty of Noah's tirade. Noah, now a little more aware of himself, realises that he's said more than he intended to- more than he thinks he's ever spoken in one go throughout the entirety of Total Drama. He's not usually one for speeches, after all, let alone honest ones.
He's always been the type to play his cards close to his chest, so why...?
"I, uh, didn't mean to go off like that."
And he also didn't mean to admit it, either. What was going on?
The look Owen gives him is, in a word, vivid. The blonde has a shit-eating grin stretching across his face, a sort of elated smugness practically glowing from his features.
"Sounds like someone has a cruuuush!~"
What? No? No! Not at all, where would Owen even get that idea?!
Noah splutters to correct Owen's assumption (to disastrous results, because he does sort-of has a crush on Alejandro, so the truth potion doesn't allow him to outright deny it), and in his preoccupied state he misses how a calculating pair of sage green eyes never seems to stray from him.
Alejandro has a lot to think about in regards to a certain cynic, it seems.
#I'd like to apologise for taking this idea and running with it.#Cutting myself off here before I breach 2k+ words or else I'll be here all day.#Sort of entered actual Writing Mode at the end there instead of Outline Mode but this idea is. So Full Of Potential I couldn't help myself.#But from here it'd basically be Alejandro using his newfound knowledge of Noah's crush on him to his advantage.#Whilst Noah's doing his best (and failing) to deny that he has any feelings for Alejandro.#Eventually leading to the two of them having a Bonding Moment where Alejandro gets Noah to divulge some personal information.#And in turn- or an effort to garner some trust (to be abused later)- Alejandro also lets himself be vulnerable towards Noah.#Something something Alejandro tries to use Noah as a pawn but ends up catching feelings of his own.#Then of course the potion wears off and Noah goes back to being just as prickly and standoffish as he was before.#A point of conflict maybe? Imagine bearing your soul out to someone only for them to close themself off to you not even days afterwards.#...Also imagine being practically forced to divulge information about yourself to someone you don't trust because of a truth potion.#Oh yeah. That's some good angst material right there.#Especially is you have Alejandro be- if not fully aware- than at least suspect that Noah's not being agreeable on his own terms.#Anon why have you given me The Thoughts?? I can't keep brainstorming AUs when I already have fics to work on!!#ophe's ranting in the tags again#total drama#td noah#td alejandro#team chris is really really really really hot#alenoah#-ish#silly ideas#other's ideas#long post#replies#kinda drafty in here (posts from the drafts)
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jude perry....
#tag rant incoming these recent asks have got me thinking about magnolia again.#i'm actually so invested in jude. horrible little wench that she is she's like a train wreck i can't look away from#she's interesting to me because she's sooo toxic but she's also like. 18 years old. yknow.#her relationship with agnes is super fucked up but i always hesitate to call it outright abusive#agnes is an incredibly fragile person with no sense of identity or ability to set boundaries#jude is an incredibly abrasive person who is unaccustomed to having feelings as strong as the way she feels for agnes#and does not know how to handle them appropriately#a lot of the time she GENUINELY thinks she's helping agnes (and the rest of her friends) when she's really being cruel#either that or she's acting out because she's terrified of losing them#not that she'd ever admit it#i think ppl's perceptions of her would really change if they read the agnes fic bc god some of their scenes are SO SO ROMANTIC 😭#and doesnt that make it so much harder and more confusing for agnes...#is it lovebombing... kind of. but not entirely so. jude is just finding out what it feels like to believe in something other than herself#(and then what it feels like to lose it. oops)#and the worst part is that she won't learn ANYTHING from it. in fact i think she comes out worse!! because afterwards she's Bitter!!!!#ough this is giving me ideas. she definitely would scapegoat gerry and she could Really fuck him up a couple years down the timeline... OOF#many thoughts head full#magnolia
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Can't work on the powerbanks comic (only 5 pages left to ink!) bc my uterus hates me so I'm doing the next best thing: playing the game again on Hard. And looking around with the camera, I realized: Banks has a "13" tattoed on her shoulder??? Honestly I thought those were some fuckass Harley Quinn diamond tattoos from the angle you get when Jen visits her at the cell in the second mission
She ALSO maybe has a skull tattoo on the back of her left shoulder???? Maybe? It's hard to see bc the shirt gets in the way but it could be. anyways love her annoyed pose while she's waiting in her cell.
#mucho texto#looking again at the jail photo she ALSO has like. a rectangle or smthing in her inner arm. why.#banks fucking tattoos fascinate me. why are they so uncohesive.#like no joke i have a whole rant in drafts about them because they mystify me so much. specially when i thought she had some fucking harley#quinn diamonds for no reason. anyways#dessa banks#tactical breach wizards#im STUPIDLY CLOSE to downloading blender or whatever and ripping the models from the game JUST to have a full ref bc im nosy.
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Can i ever be content with what I've? How can i stop questioning the things? Can i stop overthinking and overanalyzing other's behaviour with me? Why do I always think it's about me or because of me? Why am I so self-conscious?
#spilled 'jazbaat'#girlblogging#random posting#my head is full of stupid thoughts#sigh not this again#bright side? what's that?#personal rant#girlyblr#txt.🌸
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The most heartbreaking part about the MohkDay break up, is that once again Mohk is all alone. And this time, he didn't make that choice. He wanted to stay, he wanted Day to be by his side. And he was still left alone
After Rung especially, we know that our boy has severe abandonment issues. And even though we can't be certain her death was preventable by him picking up the call, he blames himself for it. The fact that Day and Mohk have only ever spoken about Rung in surface-level conversations (hell I don't think they really ever spoke about Mohk a lot at all), it hurts sooo much more that Day broke up with him after Mohk laid his heart out in front of the whole family.
I saw a bunch of people talking about how Day refuses to do any emotional labour, and I see where they're coming from. But, i gotta disagree. He did not break up with Mohk because of his trauma. He broke up with Mohk because Mohk was willfully destroying his life to stay with Day. I don't want to say his heart was in the right place, but it was in the right area code at least. I genuinely believe that the "you also pity me" was an excuse because he didn't want to hold Mohk back. I want to believe that he didn't have the time to understand the implications of what Mohk meant when he talked about Rung and he regretted it later.
(I will live in that lie till I'm told otherwise)
But Mohk has never been a fighter for himself. He'll fight in a heartbeat for what Day or Porjai need. He'll put himself in harm's way to protect those he love. But the moment he has to fight for himself, he'll back out. I don't know if this is a post-ep1 flashback thing, but that is what the show has established for us. And so as gut wrenching as his "if that's what you want" is, it's very in character for him.
But just to be clear, now that I've been a rational adult about this analysis of this show and characters. FUCK ALL OF THIS. Like straight up wtf? Who asked for an ep11 conflict huh? Who? P'Aof?? I love you, but WHYYY. My absolute green flag of a man does not deserve this nonsense after everything he's done. So FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
#last twilight#Istg I thought Night will go out after Mohk#but that's just my desperate need for someone to comfort him I guess#if Porjai doesn't tear Day a new one imma fuckin lose it#you know damn well my girl ain't gonna just sit and let this fly#problem is mohk probably won't tell her the full story and withdraw completely again#i'm so mad#i usually try not to think about the show as a structure but this is such a shoehorned ep11 conflict#if they wanted to to do the mohk doesnt take care of himself storyline they should have started it at least in ep8#sigh#gmmtv#thai bl#bl rants#jimmysea#p'aof#mohkday#mohk#day#last twlight the series#thai bl meta
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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it's been over 2 weeks and this thing (unfortunately) still has a grip on me
#rant in the tags coming so please do scroll away if you enjoyed the finale 🙏#you know how with some things you'll be like 'I had some negativity towards this thing but--#now that it's been some time I feel better towards it'?#my thoughts on the finale have only gotten worse since it released 🥲#being given more time to think on it made me notice more things I had wrong with it#like I really wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt but it is so difficult#when I tried ranking the episodes from best to least favorite#I'd come to realize that I couldn't put either finale episode above the other for the bottom two#they both gave me the same feeling of being doused in ooze 😭#I've written a good handful more thoughts on why I disliked it since the last rundown I had posted#though I'm afraid if talking about this is considered cringe or old news now that it's been a minute since the eps came out lol#I've watched the finale in full two times just to take everything in but I don't think I can do it again anytime soon#I think there's about 8-10 mins of the finale that I genuinely enjoyed#the rest making me want to cry in disappointment or was just 'okay' to me#just gotta 'it is what it is' my way through knowing the show ended like That. we stay silly!#however- writing about it does give me a little bit of relief lol#adventure time#at#fionna and cake#petrigrof#simon petrikov#betty grof#my post#my art
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btw sorry for the severe lack of art and properly meaningful things to say. i'm in a state
#the thing about me is that i'm usually spending days battling intrusive thoughts and delusion so i am frequently full of energy#and use art as a distraction or a way to arrange my thoughts#but lately my brain decided to just make me depressed and somehow that's worse. the battle is gone and everything else is#including inspiration apparently#i'm sure it will pass in a few days and ill be back to the usual insanity that keeps me going and in agony#okay see. now i'm even talking in depressing ways. fucked up sick and twisted#anyways. it'll be okay. sorry again to the small but validating following i have here#rant post#raysidk
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I've cried 4 times today over the same thing and like every single time I am alone in a room I start sobbing
I'm tired so I put my phone down but istg the second I put it down I started thinking ab it and nearly started crying again and had to get it back on
#halloween is like my favorite thing and i love the entire month of october. like i was so fucking exited this year#im always super excited but like it was pretty much the thing i was most exited for this year#like i had a shitty september and ive generally been feeling pretty shit#and im having surgery the day before.#its a toenail removal (my second one- isnt that fan fucking tastic m) and i wont be able to walk for at least a week after#and it was so so painful for at least 2 months#but like its booked in the half term 5 days before i go back to school (im doing gcse mock exams pretty soon so i kinda have to go in)#every time i see halloweeny stuff i feel really sad which is so weird for me bc like i love halloween so much#im full on crying now and its before midnight so thats 5#this sounds so overdramatic but having surgery was the most painful thing ive ever gone through#and having to do it again was literally my worst fear like a few months ago i was crying at the thought of having to do it again#and now its rlly happening and on such a bad time for me#im so so sad and im rlly scared#theres so much stuff you can do to get rid of this without surgery but none of them have done it#if anything its worse now#vent post#in the tags#personal rant
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hate ever since I finished giant robo yesterday my train of thought hasn’t been a critical analysis of what I consumed despite acknowledging both the show’s strengths and weaknesses and instead going back to my Imagawa Armageddon drama conspiracy board and going “okay no way in fuck he didn’t have Kei as Genki planned after the fucking family drama plot line in giant robo being similar to what we got in arma and it’s likely that the team got away with this idea after he left because they might’ve been in production for ep 4 but had to rewrite it and the show after onwards to fit the new direction”
or in simpler terms my brain activates “how do I make this about getter robo”
#meg text#mecha rambles#getter robo#giant robo ova#I think I ranted about this on here before so I won’t rant about it in the tags again but GOD#it didn’t help I found out genya was voiced by gos va too (fucking seki is in everything ever)#I’m now slightly convinced the reason imagawa even made their hair green was to reference genya and ginrei#originally I thought he based at least gos hair off of one manga cover ishikawa did for the manga but this seems more likely#I never even seen anyone mention the fact genkis hair was always green- or the fact how his va was always keis#And given she also voiced ALLENBY prior I don’t think imagawa would wanna waste a talent like that in a child who hardly speaks#also just remembering how the show of giant robo we got was somehow the 6 part out of 7 and needs 5 other parts for context#and how the end teases the last part even if it still is conclusive it just as my friend put it “apart of a anime that doesn’t exist”#and people thought the moon war stuff was complicated 💀 (still nice to have the context but- at least it would just need to be ONE show)#Oh and I heard genya and ginrei were completely original characters he made so that’s how he could’ve gotten away with it#next to it being a reference#tldr will never know the full context of the arma staff drama but Im now convinced Kei as genki was always planned#and likely the show we would’ve gotten would only be different in tone the hayato shit being address and way way more convoluted
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Do you like The song of achilles? Why or why not?
This is a complicated and lengthy answer so stick with me on this one. I have a very love-hate relationship with tsoa for several reasons, like the characterization of various characters or how it seems like x, y, z characters can never do anything wrong and it’s everyone else (that’s at least how I’m interpreting it, granted everyone has different takes and views on things) and all that. Now I might be biased because I did read the Iliad and the Odyssey and was already very thoroughly into Greek mythology before I read tsoa, but still. And also let me preface this by saying this is all just my interpretation of the book, you don’t need to have the same thoughts and feelings and opinions on it that I do. I don’t care. Like we’re not all going to have the same feelings and opinions on it and that’s okay. This isn’t me trying to sway anyone’s opinion on it. If you love it you love it, if you don’t you don’t.
Like I have serious beef with the way Patroclus is written in tsoa. Like in the Iliad he wasn’t the scrawny, flower boy, pacifist equivalent shadow of Achilles that we get in tsoa. Like tsoa does get right that he was a good healer and that a lot of people liked him and all that. But there was a lot more to him. He was very friendly and sociable and well had a life outside of Achilles (granted tsoa is about them, I’ll give it that, but still). Like in the Iliad Patroclus is referred to as ‘equal of Ares’ for a reason! He fought too, he didn’t just stick in his and Achilles’ tent and all that. So yeah, I have beef with that characterization and think we still could’ve gotten the beautiful story of their relationship even with Pat not being watered down to Achilles’ shadow.
I also have some beef with Achilles’ characterization and that’s just…I don’t like how Miller tried to justify (idk if that’s the right word here but I’ll go with that) everything Achilles did. And again this may go back to my bias from having read the Iliad and all that beforehand. Because technically all those characters are supposed to be morally grey. And I think that keeps it more interesting and compelling. So when you run behind a character trying to justify every little thing they do even if it doesn’t need to be or shouldn’t be then it just kinda…makes the character and story less interesting. Like and this is beef I have with all modern retellings of Greek mythology in some capacity because we are looking at these characters through the moral lenses of our time then clocking them into modern boxes based on our definitions of good, bad, neutral, etc. and personally I am a firm believer that the Iliad is an anti war story and all the characters in it kind of portray certain things that come with war. And to me Achilles’ character is the dangers of pride. Like he was mad that Briseis was taken from him so he withdrew from fighting and we all know what follows. So when Miller kinda runs behind him to justify things or unjustly vilify him (however you wanna view it) it kind of takes from that and I think it makes his character and his story much more interesting when you leave that morally grey/let’s not explain the reasoning for his actions kind of stuff. Again, that’s just me and my take on it.
And yes I also understand that tsoa is a YA story and again it’s about him and Patroclus and their relationship and all that but again I think we could’ve left some of that in and it still could’ve been good.
Now this is an opinion of mine that most people usually have beef with me over, and that is I hate the way Thetis, Deidamia, and Briseis are written. Hate it. And yes I’ll grant you Thetis’ characterization in tsoa makes the end (where she finally puts Pat’s name on the tomb) much more emotional and poignant, like I get that 100% but to me it seems like all the women were written to be just…in the way. And that kinda irks me a bit. Like he’s every mother wants best for their son but I fail to see where Thetis would reasonably do all she did like for a mother who was written to always want the best for her son and want him happy she sure did have a lot of unnecessary beef with Pat even when he was a child lmao. And the whole Skyros thing was to protect Achilles from getting pulled into the war but in tsoa it’s kind of also written as trying to get Achilles away from Pat which is weird and rubs me the wrong way. Like the Skyros thing is very interesting and is probably one of my favorite pre-Troy writings. Like I love it. I do. But tsoa also ignores the whole part where canonically (if you want to call it that) in some versions Achilles was ready to just reveal himself for who he was on Skyros. Like he was over it. He’d pretty much accepted what was going to happen and felt the whole thing unnecessary and weird and all that. And I think that could’ve made the story much more interesting.
I also hate the Deidamia situation. For various reasons and if you’re familiar with the original myth you’d know why. And again I recognize tsoa is a YA story and it’s about patchilles but still I have my beef with it. I hate who she’s just seen as annoying and rude and entitled and somebody that’s just in the way of our ‘main boys’. She’s actually quite a complex character herself and even in a few versions of the original myth she disguised herself as a man and follows Achilles to Troy! Or she’s the one who keeps him from revealing himself too soon! Like again we have someone that’s a good strong solid character that’s just…watered down.
And last but most certainly not least there’s Briseis. Another character that’s seen as in the way. Now this is gonna piss a lot of people ofc most likely but technically Briseis and Achilles did love each other. He even goes so far as to consider (if not call her) his wife. And I feel like that chemistry only adds to the whole decision of his to withdraw from the war when Agamemnon takes her. Otherwise in tsoa it doesn’t make much sense. Like in tsoa he had almost nothing to do with her at all. And I know it’s a pride thing but in tsoa he really didn’t care much about her and only did because Pat liked her. And (if I remember correctly it’s been a bit since I’ve read it) he kind of saw her as something of a threat. Something that was getting between him and Pat. So like…why was he mad that she was taken? Let alone mad enough to pull back from the war? It makes no real sense to me.
And I think she does just kinda miss the complexity and multifacetedness of all these characters. Like a lot of them to me seem very one dimensional and that makes for a boring story to me. Like I have never in my life read a flatter Odysseus and that’s saying something because Odysseus is an inherently complex and interesting character. Same with Agamemnon. Same with literally everyone. Like yes Pat is a wonderful healer and we know that from the Iliad but he is just as capable of taking life as he is saving it and he did both.
That’s really all I have for the beef I have with tsoa or at least the issues that I have a huge problem with (problem enough to talk about it) but otherwise I do think it’s a cute story. Y’know it’s an easy read that I can get through in like 2-3 days. I love seeing them growing up in Phthia and on Pelion like I love all the Pelion scenes and seeing their relationship go from one of friendship to a romantic one. Like I love that. I do. But it could definitely use some doctoring up in my opinion. So would I say that I hate it? Not entirely. But like when I recommend it to anyone I recommend they read the Iliad afterwards. So make of that what you will.
And again if you love it and have no issues with it, that’s great. I have no issue with that. Again we all interpret and see things differently and I’m not gonna bash anyone for enjoying it. Cause again it’s a cute story. And it’s tragic and all that. Like it still has that part down but how can you have patchilles without tragedy? Y’know? But I do just hope somewhere down the line comes maybe a better version of something like tsoa. Granted it would probably have to be for but if an older or more mature audience but still. Like I think it can be done and done well.
So, yeah. Sorry for my little tangent but I hope this answered your question and again I did say I have a complicated answer. Also tsoa and Hades are the only ‘modern retellings’ (if we wanna call Hades a modern retelling idk but like y’all know what I mean but as much as I love Hades I do have my beef with it as well but again I’m looking at it from the perspective of a Hellenic polytheist and somebody who has always been very into Greek mythology so I am definitely biased) that I am familiar with like I have read Circe or Percy Jackson or Lore Olympus or anything like that so if you wanna know my feelings on those I wouldn’t be able to give a good answer because I’m not familiar with those.
Thanks for the ask!
#dorian speaks#more like Dorian rants#not an incorrect quote#I am nothing if not full of thoughts#again you can love tsoa I am not saying you can’t
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Thinking about The Amazing Devil,,,,,,,,
#I’ve sat and ranted about tad before#I will do it again#I have so many thoughts#the way each song has a tidbit from others#the way you can listen to one song and still feel the presence of others#listening to a tad album is like stepping into a room full of colorful banners#a story you can dance thru walk thru swirl thru#the music wraps around you like a blanket tapestry#the amazing devil
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