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[cipher-and-adjacents]

INTRODUCTORY🗣️🗣️

HI!!!!!

A basic introduction for this account, mainly just tagging information and Rules. This is a LONG post, so everything after this is underneath a line, but I will split it up into smaller TLDR posts for each thing if necessary!!! First, I wanna specify what this account is, if that isn't already obvious

This account is confessions blog for Bill Cipher and Cipher-Adjacent people to send confessions in. These confessions can be about ANYTHING, even just talk of mundane stuff that they happen to want attached to their own name. This blog has no DNI and we will NOT specify anything about our opinions on things, because we want 1. To not be mauled by Dogs 2. To have a decently "safe" space here.

SO YEAH! Also, this account is run CURRENTLY by two fictives from the same System. For now, our respective "Mod tags" will be "#Mod Olly" and "#Mod Six". Only one of us is technically Qualified to run this account (That's a joke. The joke is I'm the "Bill". LAUGH PLEASE.)

Talk of NSFW stuff is below, so when you get to that section keep that in mind.

General Tagging

Custom Tagging

All posts will be tagged with "#BillCipherConfessions" unless otherwise specified. If you specify your "type" (I.E: fictive, kin, etc.) then it will be tagged with "#BillCipher[Type]" (EX: "#BillCipherFictive").

If requested, the usual tag can be changed from "#BillCipherConfessions" to whatever name you prefer (EX: "#BillPinesConfessions" "#[Name]CipherConfessions"). This does not equal a custom tag, but rather a tag for people with different names, either currently or just in-source. Do not request this to be equal to a Custom Tag.

A blacklist for tags will be added as the account gains traction and requests for Content Warning tags. As for now, only very obvious content warnings will be added.

Not Safe For Work/Tumblr Confessions

Custom tags are specific tags made so you can easily find your own posts. You may not use single, plain words as a Custom tag. You may not use already existing Blog Names as a custom tag.

Custom tags will only be added to a list once used upwards of Five separate times. If you have used your Custom tag five times or more, and it has not yet been added to the list, feel free to send an ask about that and it will be added.

Please, keep your custom tags as appropriate as possible. Sexual content and slurs will not be allowed as Custom Tags.

Political and Discourse Confessions

NSFW/NSFT confessions are permitted to this account, but there will be two separates actions taken towards these posts.

1. Asks that only hint at Sexual acts, but do not describe them, as well as ones with talk of Makeout sessions or things of similar sensual, but not necessarily sexual content will be tagged with a "#CW Sensual" tag.

2. Asks that describe sexual acts in any amount of detail will be posted as a text post and hidden under a line, as well as having a "#CW NSFT" tag added to the post.

There is little to nothing we will not post, but please do not send asks that are about currently real harm towards others. Things related to your source and memories are fine, but anything that has been done to currently real, living people will not be accepted and your confession will be deleted or sent as a text post with the offending part removed.

We will not add commentary to any ask sent relevant to those topics. We will not comment on our stances on ANY topics, not the ones listed above or any other ones. This blog is meant to, in some amount, be a "Safe" space for people. If you do not like something, ask for a blacklist tag to be added, and then block it.

We will, of course, accept asks of almost any kind aside from a very specific list that will hopefully be put into words soon. On that note, we will post any and all sides of Discourse, but there are certain discourses we will not post asks around. Note, that confessions with these topics will be allowed, but not confessions related to discourse around them:

Paraphilias

Radqueers

TransIDs (in relation to Radqueers)

Do not start discourse around these. You may send asks about these topics, but anything that can lead to arguments or debates will not be added. If you attempt to send an Ask response to an ask with one of these topics included, and you are attempting to debate, argue, or otherwise instigate the other person, your Ask will be removed.

[cheswirls]

short asl thing based on @where-does-the-heart-lie's modern au :) i started this over a year ago but the beginning is all dialogue and felt more like a script to me i suppose??? which deflated my desire to work on it. anyway i checked it over recently and it's completely fine lmfao, self-confidence restored here we go !

-

"Yo. Aren't you usually in the middle of your shift by now?"

"I've been banned from the hospital."

"Like, for life?"

"No. For the next, uh.. Twenty-two hours."

"That's oddly specific."

"It was twenty-four, but I fell asleep after leaving the building."

"That wouldn't have to do with why they kicked you out, at all?"

"Hmmm. I'm too sleep-deprived, apparently."

"Ah. And, um, you called me because...?"

"I pressed a random number in my call log after waking up. Lucky you, I guess."

"Yeah. Right. Lucky me. And your car keys are...?"

"Confiscated."

"Ah, right, of course."

A beat of silence. Two. Three, then "Look, if you're busy, then–"

"No, no.  You called me, so I'll be there. Give me twenty minutes."

"Alright. Thank–"

"Thank someone else. Also, if you fall asleep in my car, I'm taking it as express permission to drive you around wherever I want."

"Ugh, go die. I don't even know why I bothered."

"LUCKY YOU, I guess," sounds off way too loudly in his ear. "No take backs. See you in ten."

"I thought you said–" Sabo breaks off as the call ends, leaving him staring blankly at his phone's too-dim screen. He squints, turns the brightness all the way up, and still squints as the sunlight proves too strong for the display.

Ace shows up in more than ten but decidedly less than twenty minutes. Sabo doesn't waste much brain power on it, only climbing into the passenger seat and yawning into his palm while his other hand fixes the seatbelt into the buckle. Not a second too soon, too, as Ace roars the engine to life and peels away from the curb at record speed.

Ace fiddles with the radio. He turns the music up, then dial it back down to inaudible. They hit the expressway and he leans over the steering wheel, frowning with his eyes fixed on the road far ahead. Sabo yawns again and this appears to be the limit to his patience. 

"Hey, so, I had a thought after you hung up on me."

Sabo grimaces. "You mean you–"

"Today's Wednesday."

He doesn't elaborate. Sabo is too tired to process. "Yes," he follows, after a second. He glances at the sky out the front window. "What time is it?"

"Oh, uh." Ace fumbles with hand placement so he can lift his watch to his face. "Nine forty."

Sabo takes a couple beats to try and process this, moves his eyes away from the skyline, and sighs as he pulls his phone out. 2:47 is what the display reads, which sounds much more believable.

"How did the minute hand get off?" he mutters to himself, chancing a look at Ace's busted wristwatch. Ace raises a brow, taking his gaze off the road to scrutinize Sabo. "No, it doesn't matter," he mutters to himself once more, sliding his phone away back on his person and out of his hands.

"My point is," Ace continues, like he hasn't just been interrupted by a whole thing. "Your timeout will be done midday Thursday. Did they switch your days off?"

"No." Sabo sighs. "They technically gave me the next thirty-six hours. Technically closer to forty. Something like that. I go back in on Friday. Sometime.” He tries to smile and it turns out very lopsided, from that he can make out in the rearview mirror. “Can you tell I’m tired?”

“I don’t think ‘tired’ is an accurate description,” Ace quips. “When did you eat a proper meal last?”

“Uh, yesterday. Maybe.”

“Maybe??”

“A ‘proper meal’ means different things to the two of us,” Sabo huffs. “On my account it was yesterday. I’ve had food since then, of course.”

“Alright, so here’s the plan,” Ace announces before absolutely whipping it around a curve. Sabo is his passenger in the passenger seat and had fully prepared to be so when he got in the vehicle, but he’d been vastly underprepared for this sudden course of action, which is how he ends up halfway out of his seat with his cheek slammed into the cold window. Ace doesn’t quite notice his brother’s terminal velocity until the car is once again on the straight and narrow, and only then it’s because of the audible thunk Sabo’s face makes when it collides with the glass.

“Aw shit. You good bro?”

“Ow,” Sabo mutters. “If I have broken bones I’m suing your ass.”

“Well, if you’re good enough to make jokes, I think you’re better than you’re letting on.” Ace keeps the wheel steady with one knee while he takes both hands away to crack his fingers. When he glances over at Sabo again, he looks even more pathetic – like he’s becoming one with the glass. “Anyway, as I was saying.

“I’m taking your ass home. You’re going straight to sleep and while you crash, I’ll make you something decent to eat and stick it in the fridge for you to heat up later. I’ll even make you two servings to eat two different times, since you clearly can’t be trusted to take care of yourself correctly.”

“Ouch.”

“I want you to conk out for as long as your body allows. We can reset your sleep schedule tomorrow, alright? Put your phone on silent; do not answer any calls. In fact, you know what, just give it to me.

Sabo glances over to see Ace’s hand held out to him, palm up. Fingers wiggling expectantly. His lips pull up into a grimace. “I’m not doing that.”

“Fine.” Ace takes his hand back. “But you will comply with everything else.”

“Wow! It’s so funny, I didn’t realize you turned into my mother overnight! Really tapped into your mom potential, huh? Anything exciting happen in your life that would cause that? I guess I wouldn’t know, since I’ve been a zombie for the past two days.”

“There’s nothing wrong with acting like your older brother, you dipshit, especially if you keep putting yourself through the wringer like this. You go home. You sleep. You wake up and eat. You go back to sleep. Then we do laundry. Does that sound agreeable?”

“That’s negotiable, at the least,” Sabo mumbles. “I will accept good food as a form of bribery.”

“Oh, nice, because I’m flat broke at the moment.”

Sabo makes a mental note of that, and then they’re pulling into the driveway. Ace lets him exit the vehicle by himself and then promptly manhandles him all the way onto the couch where it will be easier to force his body to relax than in a real bed. Ace knows this, so he calls him weird before chucking a loose blanket at his head. Sabo is almost too tired to function at this point, so he lets Ace have the last laugh in favor of finally closing his eyes.

Coming to is a surreal experience, especially since the sun is still out. He must make a noise because Ace is suddenly within view. His limbs are tangled in the blanket and still so heavy that he doesn’t bother moving. “Thought you would be gone,” he half-groans, eyes slipping shut again for a moment.

“I did leave,” Ace confirms. “I had to go pilfer some stuff to make stew with. It’s almost done, so I’ll hang here until then.”

Pilfer. That could mean any number of things. Sabo chooses to believe in the option where Ace is an upstanding citizen, and then remembers Ace saying earlier that he had no money. He frowns and squirms on the cushions enough to where it looks like he’s checking his pockets. “Where’s my wallet, Ace?” he bluffs.

“Somewhere around here,” Ace pipes up. “Your stomach will thank you for your contributions to the Portgas Household’s pantry!”

“Ugh, I got robbed,” he complains. “This sucks. ‘m going back to sleep.” He rolls over so his back is to Ace.

“Yeah, you do you, bro. Stew will still be here later. I’ll see you when you’re back in the world of the living.”

—

Luffy comes in late that night and slams the front door shut as loud as humanly possible. When he appears in the main room, he doesn’t seem to be upset, so Ace writes it off as a Luffyism. Sabo hasn’t stirred at the noise, so it’s all good.

Realizing this, Luffy pads closer to Ace’s side and looks at Sabo’s unmoving body warily. “Why is Sabo passed out like a corpse? Is he sick?”

“No, he’s not sick, he just can’t take care of himself. Which is why we are going to let him sleep for as long as possible.”

Luffy just nods to this, but it’s the uncomprehending Luffy-nod that means he’s just going to end up doing whatever he wants to regardless. Ace sighs, then jerks his head towards the kitchen. “He ate a little earlier, but I want him to eat again when he wakes up. There’s stew in the fridge if you want it – just leave him a little. Got it, Monkey D. Luffy?”

Luffy throws him a salute and then runs off in his socks. “Yippee! Ace made stew!”

“Think of your brother, Luffy, and make good choices!” Ace calls after him. “He’s a pathetic man who needs food to feel better or he’ll end up sleeping through Laundry Day!”

—

Sabo does not sleep through laundry day, but he does sleep for sixteen whole hours, so it’s just around noon when he forces himself up off the couch and into a warm shower.

Ace is around, which is mildly unexpected. But he’s still half-asleep, so everything is at least a little unexpected. He glances up from playing video games with Luffy to see Sabo leaving the steam-filled bathroom with his hair hanging around his shoulders. “You look like a wet cat,” he calls.

“Sabo’s awake!” Luffy cheers. “Ace thought you died at one point.”

Ace elbows Luffy in the gut, making him hunch over. “I did not!”

“He totally checked to see if your heart was still beating!”

“I’m undead, actually,” Sabo says completely seriously.

“Does that mean you don’t need to eat anymore?” Luffy questions. “Because I ate all the stew last night.”

“I saw that coming and made extra.” Ace finger-guns in Sabo’s general direction. “That’s why I bought two sets of ingredients. With your money!”

“With my money,” Sabo echoes, because it’s such a wild statement to have to deal with this early in the day. Well, early for him. “Fuck you.”

“I mean, I can tell Luffy where I hid–”

“Thank you, Ace, for agreeing to share your quarters with both of your brothers so we can all do laundry today on your dime!” Sabo raises his pitch so his voice is mockingly squeaky when he says this. He starts moving down the hall before Ace can start to argue, letting his and Luffy’s voices bleed into the background.

When he comes back out, now dressed, it smells significantly better than before. “I reheated the stew,” Ace announces, gesturing for Sabo to take a seat at the kitchen counter. “Let’s all have lunch before we head out.”

“You have to drink this too,” Luffy tells Sabo, sliding a Gatorade across the counter so it sets in front of him when he finally does take a seat. “Ace’s orders.”

“Gotta get those nutrients back somehow.”

“Aren’t we so considerate, Sabo?”

“Do you even know what ‘considerate’ means?” Sabo asks, lips quirking up into a half-smile. At Luffy’s shrug, it turns into a real smile. “Well, thanks anyway. Both of you.”

“No sweat. And look!” Ace brandishes a five dollar bill for both to see. “I found this baby for us to use on coins! It’s all on me today–”

“Where’s my wallet, Ace?!”

[royalarchivist]

Phil: Ok, there we go– you should both have 100 coins, I think.

YD: We won't forget this. We can't forget the person who helped us when we were in need, we will definitely pay you back this money.

Phil: [Laughs] It's ok! You don't have to pay me back, it's alright.

YD: No! 😤

Phil: [Cracks up] Ok ok ok!

YD: [Laughing] We will definitely pay you back! Got it?

KongKong: This is Korean affection.

Phil: Ok, ok! [Laughs]

[shiroganeryo]

My spouse's contribution to this year's @dazatsuweek 💞 We get double the loveliness with regular and kitty dazatsu! 😊 I’m his official reposter for Tumblr, so please do not repost; support the original instead!

#dazatsuweek2024 Day 2: Holding Hands I want to get more confident about my human art, but I also want to spread my cat agenda, so I did both~ Dazatsu is very special for me, I'm happy to participate again. Thank you for hosting the event! ♡ #dazatsu #太敦

Please support his art by checking the original tweet here!

[vesper100]

Can we please have more genderbent Pentiment content . For the masses

absolutely. SPOILER WARNING if u scroll

do you see my vision here

[gremlinshatephilosophers]

Year end fic wrap up!

I began writing phanfics in September of this year and since then I've published 30 on ao3! So I figured I'd make a proper list of all my fics from this year so that it's all organized in one place, both for my own reference and so that anyone who wants to read them can find them below!

My ao3: skygremlin

My Sanctuary, You're Holy to Me

Oct. 13, 2024

Words: 40,734 • Chapters: 21 • Rating: T

Summary: Sister Daniel isn't very good at being a nun, but she's stuck living in a convent because she's got no other plans. The church needs a new priest for Sunday mass, and the responsibility falls on her to meet him for the first time. Will he see through her false devotion?

Sister Daniel/Father Philip convent au (Sister Daniel's origin story)

You're Supposed To Be Scared Of Me

Oct. 17, 2024

Words: 5,456 • Rating: T

Summary: The year is 2016, and when the news isn't talking about Brexit or Donald Trump, all eyes are on the wave of mysterious and sometimes murderous clowns taking over the streets. Dan doesn't pay attention to the fearmongering on the news. If he ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time, so be it.

Karma is a cat

Oct. 23, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (1)

Words: 2,554 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil visit the San Diego Zoo and Dan insists he could beat a leopard in a fight. When their tour bus gets a flat tire in the middle of the night as they're on their way out of California, he's forced to defend his words and himself.

Resistance was not an approved outcome

Oct. 24, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (2)

Words: 3,651 • Rating: T

Summary: Dan and Phil are about to film a video for the gaming channel when some otherworldly guests crash into their house, leaving yet another hole in the ceiling for the builders to fix. Unfortunately, when given an ultimatum about their impending abduction, Dan and Phil choose two very different paths.

Based on the tour preshow question: Would you rather be a ghost or an alien?

The world's smallest army

Oct. 27, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (3)

Words: 5,939 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil are invited to speak about being online content creators on career day in a kindergarten classroom. Little kids sometimes say the strangest things, and they aren't exactly experienced in trying to articulate their careers to a room full of five year olds, but it's better they teach the kids about the realities of the internet before some cash-obsessed TikTok star grabs their attention first. So hey, what's the worst that can go wrong working with a room full of energetic kids, right?

Dan is not on fire, but Josh Hutcherson sure is

Nov. 2, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (4)

Words: 2,502 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil are on a tight schedule filming a horror game and the jumpscares have Dan on edge. He ramps up the theatrics for the video thinking it'll be a funny way to vent his frustration, but his gimmick with the Josh Hutcherson cutout almost costs them everything.

Based on a question from the Austin pre-show.

Color Theory

Nov. 2, 2024

Words: 1,593 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil spend Halloween night out in Milwaukee dressed as Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens, and Dan unfortunately learns the consequences of committing to red hair dye when he gets back to their hotel room to wash it out.

Everyone's a feminist until there is a spider around

Nov. 5, 2024

Words: 2,000 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil are wrapping up their North American leg of the Terrible Influence tour on the east coast, getting ready for a show in a basement dressing room backstage. Dan notices that Phil's acting really suspicious, trying to keep Dan distracted from whatever he's doing. As it turns out, there's pretty good reason why.

Based on the question from "Our Phanniversary Newlyweds Game": Who kills/removes the spiders?

Five Nights at Poppy's

Nov. 7, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (5)

Words: 4,287 • Rating: T

Summary: Dan think's it's funny when he catches Phil talking in his sleep about a threesome with Freddy Fazbear and Josh Hutcherson. Little does he know, Phil's subconscious gets a whole lot stranger, as Phil dreams up a world where they're stuck in Poppy Playtime under the suffocating watch of Mommy Longlegs, tasked to create hot pizzas rather than hot threesomes. And just maybe, Dan might like the idea too.

Based on a couple of questions from the Toronto pre-show.

Do beach chairs qualify as an emergency?

Nov. 8, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (6)

Words: 1,705 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil have a few days off in San Diego, and Phil is determined to relax on the beach, preferably with some comfortable chairs. All he needs to do is call and ask if they have any chairs available, so why do hotel phones have to make things so complicated?

Based on a question from the Toronto pre-show.

Chivalry is dead (it drowned)

Nov. 10, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (7)

Words: 1,477 • Rating: G

Summary: Sometimes when Phil makes a joke and Dan shoots it down, or when Dan warns him of his own clumsiness again and again, Phil simply lets the intrusive thoughts win and does what he wants. And maybe sometimes Dan is right, and he ends up falling down in a dirty puddle under a bridge on a long walk back to their tour bus after a show.

Based on a question from the Philadelphia pre-show about throwing your jacket over a puddle for someone.

I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

Nov. 12, 2024

Words: 3,245 • Rating: T

Summary: Dan and Phil have a death pact. Or so Phil thinks, sending out a tweet after they finish going over their wills with a lawyer.

Inspired by the recent DanAndPhilGAMES video, OUR FIRST SIMS DEATH - Dan and Phil play The Sims 4: Season 2 #17

When you see me, will you say I've changed?

Nov. 14, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (8) • Love/Hate Letters to New York City (1)

Words: 4,431 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan has an identity crisis while touring We’re All Doomed and spontaneously moves to New York City to feel like he’s doing something good and productive with his life, running a bodega in Crown Heights alongside his new companion, a chaotic orange cat named Clint.

It’s a story about New York, and the quirks of owning a stray orange cat. It’s also a story about trust and community, and handling the dissonance between the people and places we call home.

Dave and Phil

Nov. 15, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (9) • Phil and... some other guy (1)

Words: 2,834 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan's running late on a shopping trip while he's supposed to be doing the pre-show with Phil in Atlanta. As the minutes tick by in the theater with Dan nowhere to be found, Phil strikes up a conversation with Dave the security guard and has an idea for how to keep the show running after all.

Based on the actual email subject line from Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre that said "Dave & Phil Show"

Stand clear of the closing doors (The next stop is: 28th Street)

Nov. 18, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (10) • Love/Hate Letters to New York City (2)

Words: 4,311 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil are in New York on tour and agreed to meet a friend across the city, so having taken lots of trains around the world like the grown adults they are, they get on the subway. Except when the conductor calls out the next stop at 28th Street, they realize they've made a big mistake.

Love, September

Nov. 19, 2024 • Layers of a Movie Montage (1)

Words: 1,020 • Rating: G

Summary: They say you can tell someone's in love by the moments they capture on camera. Dan and Phil on a scenic autumnal walk in the woods, as seen through the videos they take of each other.

Till Death Do Us Part

Nov. 20, 2024 • Layers of a Movie Montage (2)

Words: 1,041 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil get married on New Year's eve. A glimpse into the reception, as seen through the videographer's distant lens.

This fic is technically the second part in a series, but it can be read as a standalone. However, I recommend you read Love, September first for a bit more context.

Perfect like a picture, even when they look through the grains

Nov. 21, 2024 • Layers of a Movie Montage (3)

Words: 1,335 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil having a cozy night in with red wine, taking photos for a holiday card and taking videos for each other.

This fic is technically the third part in a series but can be read as a standalone. However, for more context I recommend reading Love, September and Till Death Do Us Part, the other two parts which are set in the same timeline.

Would you read my eulogy?

Nov. 22, 2024 • Layers of a Movie Montage (3)

Words: 1,441 • Rating: T

Summary: Dan and Phil go on the same walk in the woods two years later, but there are no cameras this time. There's one video Phil doesn't have to watch to remember exactly how it ends.

This is the final part in this series that builds on the previous three stories in this same timeline, and I highly recommend reading the previous three first before you read this one to understand the context (Love, September, Till Death Do Us Part, and Perfect like a picture, even when they look through the grains).

Bernie and Phyl

Nov. 25, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (11) • Phil and... some other guy (2)

Words: 2,728 • Rating: G

Summary: Phil might have accidentally booked them an extra night at their Boston hotel. He also might have slept through his alarm the next morning. And he also might have sat in some chocolate and managed to ruin his pillow, requiring their already-late departure pause for a quick trip to a certain aptly named furniture store.

RPF stands for Role Play Finale (Obviously)

Nov. 27, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (12)

Words: 1,517 • Rating: T

Summary: During the pre-show in Reading, Phil reads out the results of the roleplay poll someone printed out for them - they're winning against Jesus and Judas. Because that's what RPF stands for, right?

It's a Confidence Thing

Nov. 29, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (13)

Words: 7,913 • Chapters: 2 • Rating: T

Summary: After months of saying he wants an eyebrow piercing, Phil finally steps out of his comfort zone and commits to it.

It's a Date

Dec. 1, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (14)

Words: 2,747 • Rating: T

Summary: Watching a movie? It's a date. Sharing popcorn? It's a date. Traveling through Pennsylvania on a tour bus with their crew with no privacy whatsoever? In a town called Intercourse? Definitely a date. Dan and Phil think it's funny to joke about everything they do being called a date. Their crew who are all stuck on a tour bus with them, not so much.

It's Buzzcut Season Anyway

Dec. 5, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (15)

Words: 3,499 • Rating: G

Summary: Phil really, really, wants to touch up the blonde before going to Australia but with the Thanksgiving weekend and the general last-minute chaos of the holiday season, there are no available appointments to get his hair bleached before they get on their next flight. Luckily for him, there's an impulsive idea, a Walgreens beauty aisle, and a hotel bathroom to make it work.

Checkmate, Chocolate Cake

Dec. 6, 2024

Words: 1,895 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan can't stop stressing about what people think of their Sims series after another interviewer brought up Dalien's monogamous relationship and the windows on the Howlter house they never fixed. Phil, on the other hand, just wants to embrace their little Australian vacation without Dan going on and on about work.

So We Could Worship In Their Name

Dec. 9, 2024

Words: 1,839 • Rating: G

Summary: Phil's up late checking the RPF poll on Tumblr again rather than packing for their flight to Australia, and Dan can sense that he's scheming something.

How Dan (Almost) Stole Christmas

Dec. 13, 2024

Words: 9,038 • Rating: G

Summary: “It was a serious oversight, in stealing from the rich, that you couldn’t really tell if they were unbothered because the money never mattered, or unbothered because they had so much cash they were using it to insulate their walls.”

For thirty-three years Dan’s lived up in the hill districts outside Who-ville, watching the wealthy elites celebrate their Christmases in the valley with glitter and food and an unfathomable amount of expensive gifts while the rest of the world was left cold and hungry, completely ignored. Between the off-key choir concerts and the way he could feel the icy wind through his uninsulated walls on Crumpit Lane, he had enough of it. It’s time for Who-ville to see what Christmas is like for everyone else, even if that means taking it by force.

A How the Grinch Stole Christmas AU

No body, no crime

Dec. 18, 2024

Words: 1,030 • Rating: G

Summary: When Phil gets home late from a business meeting without Dan, he just so happens to have a particularly vengeful playlist going, and Dan's going on about how women should go back to pushing their shitty husbands off of a cliff.

Christmas lights on rainy nights

Dec. 19, 2024 • Love/Hate Letters to New York City (3)

Words: 4,790 • Rating: G

Summary: "I’m gonna see that fucking tree if I have to swim the rest of the goddamn way" When Dan and Phil end up in New York in December, they decide to make the most of it and see some iconic Christmas decorations. They're trying their best to figure the city out, but the weather just isn't cooperating.

Phil and Ted(dy)

Dec. 29, 2024 • Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics (16) • Phil and... some other guy (3)

Words: 3,134 • Rating: G

Summary: Dan and Phil are working with some new people on their 2025 Tiny Horse calendar when someone accidentally calls Dan "Teddy," and the joke sticks. It's quote-able, meme-able, and maybe not a good idea to save it as the default file name without checking first.

Lastly, just some quick information on the series listings (accurate as of December 2024, I will probably change them in the future to better categorize fics with similar topics)

Terrible Influence Tour pre-show Q&A fics

Works: 16

These are based on pre-show questions that Dan and Phil have answered on their 2024/25 Terrible Influence Tour. These fics are separate standalones, and do not have to be read together or in order.

Love/Hate Letters to New York City

Works: 3

These are fics set in New York City. They are separate standalones, and do not have to be read together or in order.

Phil and... some other guy

Works: 3

These fics are grouped by topic and are a subset of the pre-show questions about Dan and Phil being called [someone that isn't Dan] and Phil. They are separate standalones, and do not have to be read together or in order.

Layers of a Movie Montage

Works: 4

These fics are based on the DanAndPhilGAMES video "Dan and Phil and A Tiny Horse." As others have pointed out, one clip of Dan looks like a dead wife featured in a montage at the beginning of a sad movie, which forms the basis of this series. The first three can be read as standalones, but the fourth cannot - this series is complete and should be read together and in order for the context to make sense.

[good-omens-heritage-posts]

Heritage implies age, these aren’t heritage posts they’re just posts you like

you aren't wrong, i've just decided that maybe that's okay tbh

[undeadboyfriendsupportgroup]

MARTIN BLACKWOOD IS A JEALOUS MAN... And Tim loves it (as he should)

[champmorado]

🥊 I'll give you a TKO from Tokyo! 🌇

🌆 my name is morado but you can call me rad

🐧 17, filipino, bpd-haver, autistic

😎 dude/dudes/dude's, he/him/his, cookie/cookie/cookie's

🍪 bi demiro ace genderqueer genderbi dudeial trans guy

🌌 special interest: penguins

interests: ninjago, pixar cars, punch out!!, team fortress 2, chibi godzilla raids again, lego city adventures, mcu brodinsons, craig of the creek, and learning about religions

feel free to tag me in things you think i'd like!!

💜 my inbox and DMs are always open, let me know if you need something tagged :>

DNI: proship/comship/anti-anti, kink/fetish blogs, terf, believes in "reverse racism" and/or "transandrophobia" / "transmisandry", fan of rpf

i WILL block anyone (including mutuals) over "small" things

follow my selfship blog!!!! @kruxband

old URLs: jayden-mc-and-her-shit, jaymi-and-their-shit

[polyamorousmood]

Some remarks on sending in asks to this blog:

No, you don't have to read this whole thing before you send in an ask. This is for people who are confused or anxious. It's going to be linked to whenever I finally break down and make a pinned post for this blog. I'll update this with anything new.

I am not a messiah, prophet, or buddha. I think my opinions are top-notch, but I'm not handing down the word of any god🛐.

I always want to hear poly positivity and success stories! 😍 Even if I've heard it before it warms my heart please please please

📬"ask box is always open" means only that. It does not mean asks will always get answered (though I do my best). I reserve the right to delete any ask without comment.

There are no rules on what you can/cannot ask, but if your question is vague, already in the FAQ (below), I don't have anything useful to say about it, just plain mean, or otherwise something I don't want to answer, I probably won't.

This means you CAN ask things in the FAQ, you just probably won't get a new answer unless you show me how the FAQ answer doesn't apply.

If you want to be a bro to me, try searching/checking the tag for your topic before asking. I try to use tags and make it navigable. Tumblr tries not to, as we all know, so I don't blame anyone for not being able to find something. Don't sweat it

If you don't want your ask flagged as too vague, give details! I can only work with what I got. "How do I talk to my partner about X?" ❌I've already answered that, too vague for me to give a new answer. "I try to talk to my partner about X, but they keep getting hung up on Y, even though they said they were working on it. I've tried A and B, but Y keeps coming up. I can't try C because that is a major trigger for their anxiety. Its been 5 months. Do you have anything else that might help?" ✅Well now I might have something for you.

I regularly sit on asks for days or even weeks. I have a job and hobbies and multiple romantic relationships to maintain here 😅

If you're a repeat anon asker, pick an emoji to sign your asks with so I can know who I'm talking to! I like friends, I don't like calling everyone "anon"

FAQ:

"How do I talk to my partner about [insert your problem here]?"

"How do I handle insecurity/jealousy?" start here, read this and probably this oh and also this one I guess

"I have a crush on a monogamist, what do I do?" Start here

"Should I break up with them?" -> yeah, probably. If not that, at the very least you need to have a serious talk and lay down some rules: draw your line in the sand and stick to it. It always boils down to that.

"I'm in a One Penis Policy and I don't like that" This one has two read mores. Open them both.

"Am I poly?" Probably, but there's a tag for that if you want

"Can I call myself poly if--" you can do whatever you want forever.

"I still feel guilty about being polyamorous. Any advice?"

Why are all your answers so fucking LONG? because you deserve a thorough answer

"Are you the motherfucker that made an excel sheet of polyamorous songs?" I am💗 and if you're good at identifying music genres and want to help me with that please DM because I'm bad at that and want to improve the list

[thewormsdontstop]

"This is exactly why I hate childhood friends..."

[pengtheplush]

Part 5 of recreating SoW/SoM characters in HeroForge (Uruk/Olog edition):

[wordwizards]

[mastersoftheair]

from bobby johnson's instagram

[poisonousquinzel]

Eugh, as a fan of Batwheels who can read aka the person who asked about Batwheels Harley, I would also like to point out that that blog doesn't even use the correct shipping name for a majourity of their ship names, and it doesn't make sense that they would ask such a J- hating blog about their opinion and then insult you when you gave your opinion??

As a Batwheels fan, my apologies, Harley is the greatest and has never done anything wrong your honor.

THEY WHAT SKFNFNNXNFNDMDKSKSL omg that's so funny genuinely thank you for letting me know this made me laugh sm,,, I glanced at the ship names but it was just like looking at ship names from other fandoms where it's just hollow names and no meaning for me sksks

And you're so right she's never done anything wrong batman contacted me himself to correct the misinformation your honor !!

[alienssstufff]

i know you dont rlly draw either of the mcyts im about to mention much (atually im pretty sure youve never drawn skizz, ever) but. have you considered consuming imp n skizz content. tt.tyej]h

they

brothers

*offended* I've Drawn Skizz >:[] !!! u_u and Impulse is like one of my top fave guys Life-Series wise (was praying on his win for LIML)

on occasion i do watch some team GIGS streams and Imp & Skizz episodes here and there tho id love to know more about them! inbox always open for infodumping ^^