#<- A JOKE BTW

[f1-birb]

landonorris Įçę spįçę

feat. Max saying what we're all thinking

[sleepyhomosexual]

I serve my head up on a plate

It's only comfort calling late

'Cause there's nothing else to do

Every me and every you

[malewifehenrycooldown]

How to win 'shallow's taste in fictional characters' bingo:

MUST be an assassin or have a similar profession

Weapons of choice are purely optional but bonus points if they use a sword

They do not necessarily need to have powers but it is a bonus if they do, especially if they have ice powers. But they can also just be. Overpowered. Lol.

Irish (optional, not a requirement)

They must be tall, and they must be taller than me specifically (I’m 169cm fyi)

Obviously they must be older than me

Have a tragic or implied tragic backstory

Moral alignment can be all over the shop, I really don’t mind - but bonus points if they have a case of doing a lot of face-heel/heel-face turns

Can be a big monster or have a monsterous form but it’s not a major requirement.

If they are a monster they must have claws and/or be alien-like

Red hair (optional, not a requirement)

Uhhhh that’s all I can think of at the moment. But yeah here’s basic version of ‘shallows taste in fictional characters’ bingo.

[critter-creature-or-beast]

The third one looks cool

[pouletpourri]

the real reason kaufmo abstracted

[dustyhyena]

i have over 90 hours logged in sonic adventure 2

[linecoveredinjellyfish]

normalize sexualizing that old woman without having mommy issues. maybe i don't want to be her pet because i'm traumatized. maybe i want to be her pet because she's hot. you ever think of that.

[hyperblue]

one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason

some random reporter: who's your favorite child?

bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally

dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason

tim: rest in peace

[naptimeclown]

I now disagree with that post that went something like "to make high schoolers laugh post pandemic you have to kill someone" because when I was clocking out of work today I overheard my coworkers, two high school boys, joking around. One said "hey bro...literally me when im making pizza..." He was in fact making a pizza, that's our job. They both laughed like beavis and butthead and repeated it a few times.

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[froggieetmblr]

first set of fnaf ruin fanart guys we are back

[trashmammal-7]

Tmagp 22 actually makes the whole "you can listen to protocol without having listened to archives" thing so much funnier. Girl you just namedropped the main characters. First AND last name.

[teddybeartoji]

best friend!satoru watches you laugh with hearts in his eyes. completely and utterly smitten. doubled over and clutching onto your stomach, you curse at him – you beg him to stop, to just close his mouth for one second, so you could catch your breath.

but no, he's relentless.

you swear the jokes aren't even funny but the ache in your cheeks and the tears in your eyes say otherwise. you hide your face in your palms and satoru itches to move your hands because fuck, he wants to see you. but the laughter will have to do for now.

he whispers another stupid comment right into your ear with a bashful smile glued to his lips. his cheeks hurt, too. dusted pink, his skin burns from your attention and affection – he's a weak, weak man and he isn't afraid to admit it. you have him wrapped around your pretty little finger and he fucking loves it.

his eyes grow wide when you suddenly reach for him and press your palm against his mouth. raising your gaze from your lap, you find his pretty blues and his heart almost bursts. explodes. implodes. there isn't a proper word for the feeling.

you stare at him and though he can't properly see your lips from this angle, he knows you're still smiling.

"please, stop... "

your voice has grown raspier, your throat sore from the torture he's put you through. satoru hears the smile in your tone.

slowly, he moves his head from side to side and against your palm, you feel his.

smile lines and happy tears, it's a special kind of love.

[jubshead]

So we’re in agreement that this is canon… right?

[chloesimaginationthings]

The FNAF Mikes talk about their extended family..

[tremendously-crazy]

Friends to lovers --> boo, basic, everyone's seen it before

Lovers to best friends with an even stronger bond because they both realized they were aromantic -> new, way cooler, yay, i would pay all i have (2 pennies and a button) to see it