#<- + her father is a psychiatrist so that’s what i wa going for

[hsslilly-blog]

claire should have had a minor for her first undergrad and there’s a funny option here but i’m not sure if i’m willing to make it Real

[porcelaine-whispers]

RED RUBIES OF AFFLICTION | PW

“What a familiar sight of a successful figure, Atty. Fuentes.” A sudden greeting from a woman in a wine-red dress, with jewelry that reflects its stones of red rubies. Her eyes sparkled. She had the sweet smile of an angel. In events like these, meeting familiar faces were no surprise. Her presence was comforting as if her greetings were anticipated. It made me feel safe.

‘Atty. Valentina Ally Fuentes; the only heir of Fuentes Pharmaceutical.’

Spoiled rich girl? Such a stereotype I refuse to be associated with. My mother is publicly recognized as Dra. Amelia Fuentes, the owner of Fuentes Pharmaceutical. As for my father, he is the company’s CLO, Atty. Christophe Fuentes. Our business is the fruit of my parents’ sacrifices. Having the title of being one of the leading pharmaceutical companies in the country, Fuentes Pharmaceutical continues to flourish. Knowing that our family business is a growing company still astounds me, but along with the wealth it brings is a deprivation that silently suffocates.

After passing the board exam five years ago, my father offered me a job to work under the company’s legal department. Years of working experience exposed me to the environment and exhaustion that comes with handling the company’s legal matters. There was no special treatment, for I am an employee of my parents and I wish to keep it professional in that manner. Having to work for my current title was an endless cycle of sleepless nights.

‘Atty. Valentina Ally Fuentes.

Chief Executive Officer (CEO)’

It is a title I have brought upon my name through perseverance. I have always wanted to be known for being Valentina Ally Fuentes and not only as of the daughter of my parents. With determination, I am with pride to say that I have successfully created a name for myself. I proved that I am more than just the heir of Fuentes Pharmaceuticals, that I deserve the company because of my hard work. I am to be remembered as Atty. Valentina Ally Fuentes, a lawyer, successor of the leading pharmaceutical company in the Philippines, and most importantly, a woman of her person.

Being an only child, I grew up in an environment too mature for my age. My parents were often preoccupied with the stress of managing the company. Being in the industry made it hard for them to provide time for me. I have always had a close bond with my mother. Although she used to be the CEO of Fuentes Pharmaceutical, I know how she would consistently check up on me and my state of coping with school. My energy is at its fullest when I am with my mother. She became the source of my motivation if ever I disappointed myself. Her voice gave me the peace that made me realize how valuable her presence is in my life. She is the comfort I will continue to long for.

“I apologize for my mother’s absence. On behalf of Dra. Fuentes, it was a pleasure catching up with you, Dr. Cabrera.”

I flew to Manila to assess the Fuentes Pharmaceutical Laboratory in Makati. My mother usually does the inspections of the laboratories; unfortunately, she is currently unavailable because of her emergency conference at Torres Medical Hospital. Upon arriving at Ninoy Aquino International Airport, I placed my carry-on baggage in the trunk of the car and had Ashton drive me to the laboratory. Ashton is the son of our maid, Agatha, but he is now residing here in Manila after getting married. Even before my existence, Agatha has been working for our family. She worked as the caretaker of my grandmother, but because of my grandmother’s passing, she now works to take care of us.

Our laboratory in Makati is our second biggest after the main laboratory in Mandaue. I met up with Dr. Cabrera, a member of the board of directors and a trusted family friend. He toured me around the offices and introduced me to the staff. I never really introduced myself to staff due to some being intimidated by my presence.

So far, the laboratories are exquisitely designed. All were accessible and had a system that made it easier to inspect, and at the same time keep order and cleanliness. Of course, cleanliness is a sector that I meticulously assess. We are a pharmaceutical company after all, how could we risk the lives of our consumers as well as our staff?

After completing the inspections, I had to immediately catch my flight home to Cebu. It was around 5:35 in the afternoon when I called Ashton to pick me up and drive me to the airport. During the car ride, I felt this fear and uncertainty. I started sweating and trembling, not knowing the reason for my abrupt shivers. I calmly looked out my window, diverting my attention to the towering buildings in the area. City lights remind me of the times I used to come home late with my mother since I would always insist on coming home with her after my student council meetings. If only I could go back to the days where I am in the comfort of my mother’s warmth. I instantly avoided the sight, trying so hard to forget the distinct memories instilled in my mind.

“Oh my god! If I walked to the airport, I would have probably arrived there by now. Is this a sign to stay the night?” I said in annoyance.

The traffic in Manila is dreadful. Imagine sitting in a vehicle for almost an hour, what a hassle. If only I could just spend the night in my condo at Rockwell Makati, which is only a few minutes away from the laboratory. Unfortunately, I do not have all the time in the world especially now that I have duties to attend to back in Cebu. Good thing my secretary, Mrs. Aphelion, booked a flight at 9:25 PM so I do not have to worry about missing my plane. What would I do if I miss my flight due to traffic? At last, we arrived at Ninoy Aquino International Airport before the expected boarding time. Ashton assisted me with the door whilst saying his goodbyes. I boarded the plane, tired from all the wandering I did the entire day.

Upon my arrival at Mactan International Airport, I went to the parking lot and decided to drive myself home. I was on my way home when a sudden buzzing came from my phone. I ignored the call because I was driving, and I did not want to kill someone with my awful driving skills. Driving is not something I would do often. I barely passed my driver's license test. What choice do I have now that I am driving on the road together with reckless drivers?

“Urgh! Who again is calling?!…” I answered the phone when it rang again at the stoplight. It was Emsie, one of our maids. She rarely calls me, why would she call me multiple times now? I was about to speak when I heard her voice of fear.

“Ally, you need to come home right now! Please...” She sounds muffled. Her voice was breaking as if she was restricted from breathing. I felt needles puncture my skin, anxious about the reason for her flowing emotions.

“Madam is—”

“Ally, your mother is—” The call ended.

My mother? Did something happen at the conference? My thoughts were jumbled. I started imagining things I should not be imagining. My mind was too occupied with the thought of what had happened to my mother. From there, I knew it was something serious. I said how driving was never my expertise; but with shock, I drove fast and even forgot to breathe.

As I arrived home, the guards opened the gates with panic seen in their gestures. I ran inside as fast as I was capable of, not even caring about the glass sculpture I broke while rushing to find my father. The staff were in tears, I was confused. They pointed in the direction of the study. When I barged into the room, I saw a group of men talking to my father. They have dressed in navy blue uniforms with one holding a folder; they were policemen. My father’s eyes shifted and met with mine when he saw me, panting from all the running. I could not comprehend what was happening in front of me. I love my mother so much that I did not even bother to ask about what happened; instead, I screamed in pain asking where she is.

“Where is my mother?! Where is she?! I want to see her now...” My vision became blurry, tears filled my eyes. I was trembling, my body felt pain in the numbness; I was paralyzed. I could hardly stand properly when the policeman holding the folder turned to me. He looked disappointed.

“I am sorry for what happened, Attorney Fuentes. Three men have been suspected of the incident; it was an ambush. Dra. Fuentes was shot multiple times, hitting her neck and chest. I am sorry Atty., but Doctor Fuentes died at the scene due to excessive blood loss...”

They handed over a clear plastic bag. It was a set of jewelry with shining red rubies.

My mother’s signature set.

She believed that rubies are stones that can bring happiness and passion into the life of the wearer. Thus, her signature stone being ruby. I remember clearly how she would get ready in her vanity, with a smile on her face as she puts on her earring of shining red rubies. Ruby is a stone believed to protect the wearer from negative entities that leach positive energy, promoting spiritual vitality and wellness overall. My mother is an optimistic spirit. Her words are gentle and comforting; yet what am I now that those words of comfort could never be heard in the same voice ever again?

I collapsed, closing my eyes as a flood of tears gushed down my ashen cheeks.

My mother...is gone. I could never hear her voice, see her smile, and feel her warmth again. All was so sudden that I did not have the chance to say what I wanted to say to her. I felt a pang of guilt in me, it was like she died without knowing how much I loved her. Just like a nightmare, this is the horror that never wanted to happen in my life, yet it did. So many questions came to mind; my thoughts are distorted.

I felt a sharp sting in my chest, a puncture in my stomach, and a bullet through my head. I was in suffering.

“Ally be careful with your dosage! Are you even aware of the amount you intake?!” Hearing the voice of my father, I gradually opened my eyes. I look over to see my psychiatrist checking the bottle of pills. Was it all a vivid flashback?

I then realized how my thoughts took over my body. Driving home and seeing flashing city lights triggered the memories of my mother to flood my mind with thoughts of her tragic death. I felt tightness in my throat, rapid palpitations in my chest. I reached for my medication, unaware of the amount I am taking, hoping that it could relieve the choking sensation that silently suffocated me. With the sound of aggressive honking, I drove drained of strength and energy. Arriving home, my body began to respond to the side effects that came with my medication; It led to my slumber.

After being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, Dr. Torres prescribed me pills to cope with my sudden anxiety attacks. The death of my mother scarred me. My mother died in an ambush when I was 15 years old, almost 20 years ago. I am now 35 years old, a lawyer, a CEO, and a woman determined to grow my mother’s legacy. I know how sentimental the company is to my mother, so I continue to work hard to make what she started to flourish into a company she sacrificed for.

‘A goal without a plan is not a goal, it is only a dream.

- Dra. Amelia Fuentes.’

When she died, I saw how she still looked glowing. Although she died blood-soaked in a silk dress, her beauty was radiant. My mother is the woman that ensured to raise me with passion in all my works. She has left me with the knowledge that made me grow into the woman I am today. Her wisdom will forever remain with me; the most valuable gift she has ever given.

Even after 20 years, it still haunts me, yet I decide to focus on the path ahead of me, instead of longing for the past that I could never bring back. I may not be able to go back to the days we spent as a complete family, but I gradually accepted that my mother is now home in the heavens. Her presence is something I have been longing for ever since she left. I would even hallucinate seeing her in events, imagining her voice of greetings, her smile of an angel, and her gentle touch.

She is now an angel that continues to protect my father and me from this selfish world. I may not feel her warmth anymore, but I feel her presence.

"My mother will forever be the source of my tranquility.

She will forever be my angel."

-----

[Porcelaine Whispers]

[camp-half-mess]

Another layer

Ghosttube AU time uwu, did you know Elvaid’s mother and sister died when he was super young? Did you know he could see ghosts of all kind hanging around him? Did you know he used to live in Scotland before moving to the States? Written by mod David uwu -A

TW: Mention of death, mention of addiction, slight gore

---

Elvaid didn’t understand the sad looks he got when he talked about talking to mom. She was there, just quiet and stayed either in the garden or her room. He also got pitying looks when he talked about Olivia, his sister. She always hung out with him, and he talked to her even if the other kids ignored her during recess. He liked to think he had a happy childhood, ignoring all the fights every night, his gramps’ addictions, and being taken to see one therapist after another despite his insistence that he was fine and nothing was wrong. Apparently his mother and sister’s death took a big toll on him, in children it was normal to mimic and play pretend through situations that caused trauma and stress, and that’s what they told his father was happening as Elvaid happily chatted with Olivia in the waiting room.

He was eight when it got worse. He had to move out of his childhood home and change schools in the middle of the year. Alana and Olivia followed him, of course, and that he was thankful for. What he wasn’t thankful for was the other people in the house that they were now living in. There was a mean old man who’d walk the halls and never say a word, just look at Elvaid when he passed and it was terrifying to him, though that could probably be because his eyes were gouged out. There was also a young woman who seemed friendly enough, always singing some old song by a different window each night. Elvaid could remember trying to say hi to her when she sung at his window, only for her to vanish before him in an instant. The next night she was back and Elvaid waited for her to start the conversation. It happened at the end of the melody, that she turned her head to look at the little boy sitting on the bed.

“You see me?”

“Should I not?” Elvaid replied, tilting his head as his child brain was running around.

“Many people don’t see me.” She replied, adjusting how she was sitting on the window to now face him.

“Well then they’re missing out, you’re beautiful.”

She seemed taken aback by that, flickering in the moonlight. “Thank you. Say, could you do something for me?”

“I can try.” Elvaid nods and she smiled gently at that.

“I need you to find a letter for me, it should be in the basement.”

Elvaid wasn’t allowed in the basement, it was filled to the brim with things that the previous family left behind and his dad claimed he’d go through it but never did. He found himself nodding anyways, wanting to keep the smile on the lady’s face.

She vanished but her singing could be heard through the house for the rest of the night. In the morning, Elvaid had school. He wiggled in his chair, glancing at the door where some adult was standing. No one else seemed to notice the adult and around the fourth or fifth time he looked over the old woman locked eyes with him. He quickly tore his attention form her and tried to pin his attention somewhere else suddenly feeling cold. He found it hard to breathe and when he looked back to where the old woman was standing he found her right beside him and he screamed, falling off his chair.

“Elvaid!” The teacher scolded as some classmates started laughing, he turned away from the board to look at the boy in the back row, on the floor. Elvaid hardly paid attention, finding it harder and harder to breathe with the figure looming over him. He didn’t understand how no one else saw her, she was right there! He registered the teacher sighing and walking over as tears filled his eyes. It honestly felt like he was drowning and soon all he could hear was his heart beat in his ears as he started to cough. He wasn’t quite sure what happened afterwards but he recalled sitting in the office getting lectured about how it was unacceptable to hit the teacher and interrupt class like that. Elvaid remained in the office for the rest of the period and Olivia was there with him staying quiet.

“She’s bad.” Olivia commented after a few minutes of silence, “like, really bad.”

Elvaid shook his head in response.

“Mom says you shouldn’t be with her.”

Elvaid sunk further in the chair.

“Mom also says you should stay out of the basement.”

Elvaid shook his head again.

“Elvaid…” Olivia sighed, standing up from her chair and walking over to him, “please?”

Elvaid just looked away, crossing his arms. It was silent for a few more minutes and when he glanced back Olivia was gone. He could still feel her, of course, could almost always feel either her or mom’s presence even if he wasn’t able to see them. He huffed as if to make a point to the both of them in the silence of the office.

He was sent back to class after recess, some students huffed and coughed before bursting out into laughter as he walked by and he kept his head down for the rest of the day. He felt the lady again but refused to look at her despite the chill reappearing.

He went home still cold, refusing to talk when his gramps picked him up from school and dropped him home. As soon as he got through the door the chill seemed to vanish, replaced with the memory of last night when he said he’d try to get a letter for the nice lady. Glancing at his gramps, he watched the older man walk off deeper into the house and away from the basement door. He could see the tall eye-less man staring at him from the top of the stares, but when Elvaid went to look he started walking away, head still facing Elvaid. He didn’t like that.

He quickly tore his attention away, heading to the basement door and quietly opened it with a soft creak. He could hear hushed voices in the basement, but elected to ignore it. The voices disappeared once he started down the steep steps, but he felt a lot more people in the basement. His child brain couldn’t understand so he tried to ignore it as well. As soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs he wanted to leave immediately as his gut twisted. It will be quick, he tried to convince himself. He started as quiet as he could, glancing across ever surface to no avail before opening drawers and boxes to look for it. He got quicker and more frantic the longer he was in the basement and he didn’t quite understand why until he realized he no longer felt Olivia or mom with him, and the voices returned with their quiet murmuring as he felt crowded despite being in a room devoid of life. The voices got louder the longer Elvaid was in the basement, he couldn’t make out any words in the jumble of voices but he felt as if the space around him was closing in and getting more and more filled. He rushed back to the stairs, tripping over a box that spilled a bunch of letters across the floor. One seemed to stand out- glow almost- and he grabbed that one before running up the stairs and closing the door. He was holding his breath at this point as he rushed up to his room, closing the door and crawling under the blankets of his bed. He held the letter close and sighed, letting himself breathe again. He hid the letter under his pillow before he slowly got out from the blankets.

The night came far too slowly for him, though when it did and he heard the singing he pulled out the letter from under his pillow and waited for the lady to appear. He wasn’t waiting that long for she quickly appeared, eyes on the letter in his hands.

“Open it.”

He quickly did as instructed, opening the old envelope and quickly unfolding the letter inside and handed it to her. She started to read it silently, smiling as tears brimmed her eyes. She looked back at the kid, already fading away.

“Thank you.”

She didn’t reappear after that, having moved on. Elvaid now heard the voices in the basement at night instead of her singing, and found it harder and harder to sleep even after he sealed the letter again and threw it down the basement stairs. Olivia and Mom reappeared a few days later. The eyeless man still walked the halls, sometimes following Elvaid now instead of just walking by. He found himself not sleeping at night as the voices got clearer and louder, they woke him up constantly screaming in pain and agony, in sadness and anger. He stayed up until his mom appeared, and stayed with him, singing, rubbing his back until he fell asleep again and woke up in the morning.

He moved again when he was 15, after getting a proper diagnosis from a psychiatrist and getting on medication. It didn’t help much, but he figured the medication wasn’t normally administered to people who saw a lot of things others didn’t see. It was called an overactive imagination when he was kid, which turned into hallucinations as he got older, until he just stopped talking about them. Ghosts, spirits, his world was filled with a lot more colour than the general public. People had these glows about them, filled with colours and ever shifting in brightness. Objects had those glows as well sometimes. He saw spirits tailing people, going about their day as if trapped in the past, watching others as if they were in the present. He saw spirits push things over, mess things up. He saw spirits watching over others, making sure harm rarely came their way. He saw Olivia and Alana still. He heard what the spirits were saying, maybe not understanding it always but he heard it. Sometimes they just wanted help moving on, and Elvaid felt compelled to help in anyway he could. Others just wanted to hurt him, or possess him. He hated those spirits, but he had a hard enough time distinguishing differences between the spirits who wanted help and those who wanted to hurt. He relied a lot on Olivia and Alana in those instances, Olivia would just chase any and all spirits away and Alana on the other hand understood the differences almost immediately.

He ended up getting a service dog. His name was Roadkill and he was a Doberman. Elvaid loved him. Roadkill was trained to stop Elvaid’s nervous behaviours that hurt himself- such as scratching his neck- and to help calm Elvaid down before he got too worked up over one thing or another. Roadkill was an angel in Elvaid’s eyes, especially when the nightmares hit him in the night once they settled into his new room.

Sure, the house didn’t have the eyeless guy, nor any ghosts but the entire house just felt off to Elvaid. Maybe it was because everything was so quiet all the time, that everyone had really dull colours around them? He wasn’t sure, and he didn’t want to dwell on it. He figured he could get used to it, it was a new place with new people and no reputation had followed him here. His years there were nice, eerie and slowly filling with more and more ghosts, but nice.

He could easily recall downloading a game and booting it up a year later when he was 16, some online multiplayer RPG type of game, it was called Zaeyina or something. Some of his school friends were playing it and he wanted to see what all the fuss was about. What he didn’t expect is making friends on the game who were in different time zones. Voice chats were kinda weird for him, considering it was normally late at night or early in the morning (though those times really blurred together for him) when he talked with anyone. He vividly remembered messing around and running away from enemies before kill stealing this one girl’s monster and it turned out they were in the same guild. They did a lot of PVP (or as Elvaid called it ‘hide and kill’ because most of the time he’d run and hide somewhere as he tried to remember the keys for attacks) over stupid things as if it settled the score or whatever. They ended up voice chatting after the guild made a group chat on Discord and sent the invite to all the members.

Elvaid remembered sitting in the group chat as Olivia watched over his shoulder, making comments on what people were saying as he remained quiet. It was late, he wasn’t all that talkative as everyone was practically vibrating with energy. It was then when he kill stole again just for the fun of it did he hear a frustrated yell from the voice chat.

“AUGH THAT PRICK!” a blue icon lit up with the green ring, and he couldn’t help but bubble with laughter at that as some others in the chat laughed at her anger as well.

“Sharing is caring, love.” Elvaid chuckled into his microphone, his voice sounding tired.

“WHAT THE FUCK- DON’T CALL ME LOVE!”

“You have an accent?” Another voice commented, albeit much quieter than both of them.

“You have the accent here. You can’t see but I’m sticking out my tongue.” Elvaid replied, smiling. He typed ‘:p’ into the chat as if to show.

“FIGHT ME YOU BITCH!”

“…nah.” Elvaid hummed, making sure his little avatar ran away from the angry girl.

The chat quickly switched topics in a few minutes or so, and Elvaid lapsed back into silence as he decided to hide somewhere. It didn’t take long for her avatar to find his and he really couldn’t not send the message considering he where he was hiding.

‘I can’t believe I’m back in the closet already :<’

He could hear some laughter on the voice chat and he felt proud of himself as he stifled a yawn.

“Damnit, it’s already 12?!” A voice exclaimed with a huff causing a few the also be just as confused and others to chuckle quietly.

“Yikes, it feels like 6.”

Elvaid made a mental note that most of the people seemed to be 5 hours behind him. He scribbled it on a nearby piece of paper and had a small moment of thankfulness that it was the weekend considering it was the first time he looked at the clock in a long while- and by a long while I mean since 9pm.

'Think there’s a reward for staying logged in for 24 hours because I’m willing to take one for the team’ Elvaid typed.

“Don’t you dare!”

‘I have elected to ignore the British person’

“Git!”

‘He’s bullying me and it’s really sad :((((((((((’

“I am not!”

“Let him do it bruh,” a different voice spoke up, “I wanna see what happens.”

'Glad I have someone’s support here’ Elvaid smiled as he typed that, 'I am just a little creacher, I cannot change this’

The chat continued how one would expect it until everyone logged off because they were tired, it was their ‘bedtime,’ or they were falling asleep already. Elvaid stayed online though, not feeling all that tired as he glanced back at Olivia with a smile.

“I like them,” she hummed, “better than the idiots here that you hang out with. They’re basically chads.”

“They’re… not chads.” Elvaid defended quietly as he left the vc.

“They act that way.”

“…you win this time.” Elvaid sighed, sitting up and stretching as he paused the game. He glanced at the right side of Discord, seeing the green circles go to either grey or red. He yawned as he shook his head, closing his laptop as he snatched his phone and went downstairs. 8am, he figured it would be good if he ate something.

Around a year and a bit later, Elvaid opens Discord during lunch, letting his friends ignore him in the riveting conversation they were having about wrestling. Note the sarcasm.

'Rise And Mother fuckin’ Shine Angelfish :D’ He sent in the dms, 'it’s Like 5 in the Morning!!!! for you!!!!!!!!!! so you’re Not up But stiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllllllll, good morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

As expected, no reply. It was early for her.

'I hope you have!!!!!!!!!!! A Fucking Legendary day! Kick someone’s ass for me!!! I’ll swim across the ocean to help you out!!!!!!!!!!!!’

He left it at that, turning off his phone and instead trying to listen to what his friends were saying. He found it hard to keep up. A ghost sitting next to one of them caught his eye though; a boy no older than 10, dripping wet and crying beside the guy across from him. Elvaid figured the spirit was harmless- the spirit was a child for crying out loud!- yet the only memories he had of spirits associated with water brought him back to the time he felt like he was drowning with the old lady standing over him.

His breath started to quicken.

He could remember feeling helpless, overwhelmed. The scarily real feeling of water slowly filling up his lungs, feeling as if he was trapped in a small box. The fear that coursed through his veins before he blacked out-

“Hey, dude, you alright?” One of his friends asked, gently grabbing his upper arm to get his attention. He could feel Roadkill pushing against his leg.

“I- I need air-“ Elvaid choked out, standing up, stumbling for a few steps before rushing out the door into the hallway, trying to find a door to outside. Any noise seemed like too much, and with people being loud in the hallways it was too much. Elvaid could faintly hear footsteps behind him as his ears started to ring and he pushed his way through a door and outside. He immediately felt less confined. Elvaid sat down as Roadkill quickly jumped up onto him, licking his face and keeping his forward legs and paws by his neck to stop Elvaid from scratching. Instead of scratching, he hugged Roadkill tightly as tears brimmed his eyes. Once his ears stopped ringing after a minute or two, he registered the fact that his friend was sitting beside him.

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Haven DVD Commentaries - 3.02, Stay

Commentary with Matt McGuinness (Executive Producer, and Writer for this episode) and Gabrielle Stanton (Executive Producer)

MMG [During the previously on]: Gosh, I forgot how violent our show is sometimes; people are very angry. But they usually have good reason to be. I remember the day we came up with this in the room, that the Colorado Kid’s grave would be empty.

MMG [during the first scene in the truck stop]: We thought about shooting this scene at night, we decided to go for a gloomy morning kind of look. Now that guy, I would have preferred if he was much more naked, because you could barely tell that he was naked.

MMG [Duke and Audrey talking on her balcony]: We had lots of conversation on the day about what Duke’s weapon of choice would be in this moment. I like what he picked [the screwdriver]. I’d originally scripted a big wrench like he was going to bash somebody. I will say that also, Eric must have been in some knife fights because that is in fact the way you hold a knife in a fight. This was the first day of shooting of season three. This was the second episode but we shot out of order, and this was the first or I think this was actually the second day of shooting. There’s Duke and Nathan. Those boys have some issues.

GS [As Audrey is offering Nathan’s coat to the zombie man dog thing]: This is where Audrey does a little bit of her Trouble-whispering that she’s so good at; connecting empathically with Troubled people. MMG: Casting these dog-men was, as you can imagine, quite a challenge. Now this guy [the store owner] like all good jerks, gets his comeuppence and gets bit on the neck. That’s fairly savage. [GS asks why the casting was so challenging] Because, we needed guys who could act, we needed guys who you believed might be a dog. We needed guys who looked good naked, and it was hard. We did end up getting some great, great guys. Particularly the guy who played the lead dog; he was great.

MMG: And this is our introduction to Claire Callahan which was a lot of fun. GS: Who is actually naturally I believe blonde. Didn’t we darken her hair for the role? MMG: We turned her into an auburn red head sort of deal. GS: I like the way they play together. I can see them as friends. MMG: I remember when Claire showed up, I was there and poor Bree Williamson, we were way behind and she showed up and she found herself in a scene (not this one - a later scene) and before you knew it she was acting and saying her lines, and no one … I had barely spoken to her, I not talked to her one second about her character, who her character was or what her character was doing … And I just was like ‘hold on’ and I ran out and had a three minute conversation with her about who she was and I think she really appreciated it.

MMG: That’s Adrian Griffiths who played Tor Magnusson, a name that we loved here in the writers’ room. We like … a lot of our guest actors have what we like to think of as very real names. GS: The more real they are, the more likely they are conceived by Matt McGuinness [which makes Matt laugh a lot] MMG: We liked that name, it’s actually the name of a friend of my fathers.

MMG: This barn was a great location, we found a barn that was a labrynthian warren of rooms. [As Audrey and Nathan come back out of the barn] That makes the barn look small, but that’s just an outbuidling, see that barn connects to the other barn, and they all go underground, it was a big barn. Look how beautiful it looks; such a rich looking show, it’s great. GS: I love that colour. MMG: Isn’t it great? It looks like they’re in an aquarium in that shot right there. [as they’re asking Tor to lock the barn]. GS: Everyone wears plaid in Haven. There’s a lot of plaid. Except Audrey.

MMG [At Duke and the raw-fish-eating man dog thing]: This was a fun scene. This guy was large. He has some big muscles. We always had fun imagining which dog turned into which person and I had a feeling this was a rottweiler or a Saint Bernard. [As Duke asks Dwight to restrain the man dog] This was a fun little moment.

MMG [As Audrey and Nathan go back into the barn after Liam]: This scene we shot at the very end of the day. It was dark outside and we lit this. GS: The lighting looks great. MMG: This was fun ... where all the dog men find clothes. GS: Which kind of makes sense because they’d be cold, but also it’s kind of hard to have too many naked people running around town. MMG: And they are getting smarter. And there’s the big dog [Jessie]. This guy was great. Although I never liked the way he put that coat on; he looked like he’d put a coat on a million times the way he did that. But other than that he was terrific.

GS: How long did this sequence take to shoot, it must have been half a day? MMG: Oh we were in this barn for a long time. Two days in total I think.

MMG [When we first see Cookie the man dog]: What was his name originally, it was Juice Box right? Then he was Cookie. He’s the nice dog.

MMG: That was one of my favourite shots right there; them [the man dogs] running into the woods and scattering.

MMG: I remember when we came up with this idea in the room … it was just one of those big quantum leap moments where, we’ve all scene werewolves where people turn into animals. On lots of shows people turn into animals; we’d never seen animals turn into people. So we said what if some guy’s Trouble turned his animals into people? GS: Wasn’t the original, original, original version a pet store owner? And all the animals in the pet store changed? MMG: If we do one more season we will do cursed pet store. I love cursed pet store.

MMG [about Vince and Dave]: These guys are investigating. This was the beginning of our season-long arc … where the bolt-gun became key.

MMG [As Claire is listing her qualifications]: I miss Claire right now. She meets and unfortunate demise. GS: Yeah, we would have liked to have kept her, but we wrote the character to meet the end that she did. MMG: Yeah, she was brought in as cannon fodder and fulfilled that need. GS: But she was great, we liked her a lot. MMG: Nathan’s in a wierd position here because he wants to be nice to Audrey and he wants to protect Audrey, but he’s also worried about her so he’s allowing the psychiatrist to come along for the ride.

MMG [the scene with the man dog in Dwight’s truck]: I thought this was really funny. How did he end up in the car? Look at the peck muscles on that guy. He was huge. Don’t mess with Dwight - he brings that wrestler thing. Claire notices that Audrey and Nathan have something.

MMG [At Duke’s “Who are you again? Don’t tell me - another Audrey Parker” line]: That was a great ad lib by Eric Balfour right there, that ‘another Audrey Parker’ he did that on the day. We all thought that was very funny. In the script he looked at her and said ‘Who are you a real estate agent?’ which I thought was kind of a good line. And then he said ‘another Audrey Parker?’ and I thought, that’s a much better line!

MMG [In the animal centre]: This was a great set, very creepy. GS: It’s scary. MMG: This was Claire’s first scene. MMG [when we see the man in the cage]: And this I remember was Randy, our stunt guy. GS: Actually in there? MMG: Actually in there. GS: Wow. MMG: Crammed himself into that little cage. And he was really uncomfortable.

MMG [When they find the body of the dog catcher]: Our little tip of the hat to 2001; dogs using tools and getting smarter.

MMG [Dwight and Duke heading into the Herald]: This was the first scene we shot. For the whole season. Very first scene, I remember, everyone’s bright eyed and busy tailed, lots of executives milling about. CS [As they go inside]: I like this set, the Haven Herald. MMG: It’s hard to shoot in; it’s really small.

MMG [As Audrey, Nathan and Claire look at the animal centre records]: These are these difficult math scenes that we always hate writing, but then they’re kind of important. We call them math scenes because everyone’s talking about the facts that they know and we’re sort of prosecuting the case. As a show we like to walk that fine line of being a procedural, but keeping the character and the emtion and seeing what’s going on with people and you’ve got to do both.

MMG [As Tor is talking about what happened when he dropped Jessie off at the animal centre] : This story he tells was a scene we wanted to shoot. That’s when all the dogs turned to people and it would have been a really, really cool scene. But it would have been shooting out of order and flashbacky and we kind of don’t do that kind of stuff, so we didn’t do it. But if I ever do this as a movie, I’m going to do the scene where the guy walks out of the dog pound and all the dogs stop barking.

MMG [Duke, Dwight, Vince and Dave reading papers in the Herald]: This I think is going to be really funny in a second. GS: This is my favourite part of this scene. Everyone has to look out the window. MMG: Because a naked guy goes running by. And this guy; what a sport. It was cold. He wore sneakers, we decided to let him wear sneakers because he had to run down the street. And he’s got the cone on! GS: He’s got the cone on! That was my favourite thing, I’m so glad we got to keep that. MMG: And that guy was very naked. We did the show without any naked female dogs; we had a few but not enough. GS: It’s one thing to shoot from the waist up, but from the collarbone up makes it harder.

GS: So here’s one thing about the Troubles. If your parents had said to you ‘you may not ever own an animal’ wouldn’t you ask why, and press for the details? MMG: Well maybe but, the house I grew up in, No. You were beaten. [about Tor] This guy was great. He’s really big too, he’s like six five. You’ll see later when we have a stand off in the woods, we needed him to be threatened by the dog, and it was like, ‘We need to put him in a hole’. MMG: Marcoon Hills, named after one of my college room-mates; Stu Marcoon.

MMG [At the stand off with Jessie in the woods]: This scene I was terrified of, because it’s a full grown man having an emtional scene with his dog turned to a man. And I thought; this has the potential to really go sideways. And both of these actors dug me out of a whole and did a great, great job. Jessie was the name of my golden retriever when I was little. That guy looks like a crazy dog, doesn’t he? Both of these guys were great. Oh there’s a female dog, with a very modest sweater she seems to have found. Oh wow, look at the VFX on that hand touch! I remember having that conversation in post and I had forgotten. And they’re all dogs! In sweaters! All of those dogs in the woods; it was really tricky.

MMG [As Cookie finds Liam]: There is our executive producer Shawn Pillar’s dog, Slone. Who is only about a year and a half old there. GS: This whole show teaches you that dogs are good people too. MMG: Gabbie’s here to make fun of my show apparently. GS: No! I’m saying I think it’s a very nice message. I think the message should be, people should go out and adopt a dog.

GS [As Claire tells Audrey how Hadley and the others are doing]: Audrey’s found a kindred spirit. MMG: She was a good friend.

GS [As we see Nathan with Cookie]: Slone is like three times that size now. MMG: I remember telling Lucas Bryant, ‘OK go pet the dog and look sexy, and appealing. And he pulls it off. We’re going to see him look over in a way that melts the ladies’ hearts I believe. It’s nice.

GS [At Vince and Dave in the Herald]: I always like it when they fight. MMG: These guys are great when they fight. And they are the only ones with what appears to be the dewy decimal card system still in their office. And apparently … GS: A mummy! MMG: … souveniers from Tutankamun. I love that. GS: Who would steal from Vince and Dave? You’d have to be pretty scary.

GS [As Duke is telling Audrey about the Hunter]: We decided on two months, and then I think by episode ten we were like, oh my gosh, we are slaves to time. MMG: There’s the bronco. There are only two people in the world who can drive that vehicle. One of them is that guy right there, and the other is one of our transpo guys. No one else is able to drive that car. GS: Aw, this is sad.

[rjhg53ji-blog]

Car insurance coverage?

Car insurance coverage?

So, my car was stolen from my driveway and was found crashed into two houses in a few towns over. My insurance policy doesn t cover theft/vandalism but it covers collision. Since my car was recovered from the theft but ultimately ended up in a collision, shouldn t I be covered? Professional opinions only, please.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancefastfinder.xyz

SOURCES:

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[poemsbyjosh-blog]

Victim's Remorse

This is the tale of the most necessary element of every murder. A piece so vital, even the grim reaper itself becomes obsessive.

In spite of morning rays on the horizon, the apartment remained dark until noon. The remnants of another lost night in the life Angeline Adams remain cast across the bachelorette layout of her one bedroom house. The couch was littered with school work and job applications, residing there long enough to grow forgotten or irrelevant. The table was covered in empty take-out boxes and empty cans of drinks, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. The trash can was full, the kitchen counter displayed a week’s share of junk-mail, and the rest of the house was scattered with piles of laundry, assorted by levels of cleanliness. The only noise that could be heard broadcasted from the lone bedroom.

“It appears to be another strangulation,” spoke the monotonous police officer with the voice so familiar, “and possible rape. This fits the M.O. of our killer. That would make four murders this week. Do we have any idea how he broke in?”

“One of our men spoke with a neighbor,” the female cop spoke up, “said she liked to sleep with the window by the fire escape cracked. I will check for prints. ID’d the body yet?”

At that moment, the noise halted. “Guess I fell asleep with the TV on again.” Spoke Angelina, rolling out of bed. “Fuck. It’s noon. I have class in less than an hour; I guess I’ll be grabbing coffee on the go, again.” After showering, she changed clothes from the laundry pile nearest her bed and threw her hair into a ponytail. She grabbed her phone and was out the door, dashing towards the nearest Starbucks. During her trip, she checked her phone; she had three missed calls from her mother and 7 unread text messages. She called her mom back first.

“Angie,” her mom answered without a formal greeting, “why are you just now replying. Did you sleep until noon?”

“No, mom,” Angelina replied, still possessing the angst in her voice she developed in high school, “I’ve been up studying for my calculus test today and left my phone in my room.”

“Oh well, that’s good,” Mrs. Adams replied in the most motherly of voices, “are your grades better now that you have ridded yourself of that leech?”

“Brian had nothing to do with my grades,” Angelina replied, “but yes, I feel like I’m doing much better this semester.”

“Good,” her mother answered, “Your father and I worry if you’re ok being so far away from home or if the stress is too much for you. I know it must be difficult with the apartment and job hunt.”

Now was the moment that culminated from every conversation between Angie and her mother; the time for Angelina to decide whether to ask her mother her reason for calling and creating an unnecessary with negative effects on both Angie’s stress levels and her mother’s concerns, or to assure her that everything was smooth sailing in Columbus and relive the unsettling numbness that haunted her every day. Today, timeliness answered the question for her.

“Everything is fine mom,” Angelina answered, “Sorry I can’t talk, but I have to run. I’m late for class already. Thanks for calling, hope to see you soon. Tell dad how much I miss you two.” She then hung up the phone without waiting for a response and was off to her class. She dreaded the day her mother learned to send text messages. Avoiding these conversations would become much more difficult.

Once Angelina settled into her seat at the back of the classroom, she checked her text messages. Five were from an assortment of friends asking her to come out with them for the night. All of Angelina’s “freshmen friends” as she called them were always concerned that she worried too much about life and constantly tried to cure her of concerns with a night of drinking. Angelina hardly ever relaxed at this type of scene and the anxiety of knowing she had lost hours of valuable time to something non-productive only made these situations worse. But her friends were resilient, so she often ignored these messages, telling them the next day that she had misplaced her phone.

The other two messages were from her ex-boyfriend, Brian. Both were essentially the same message, just carefully reworded. “Lina, how have you been? I miss you and was wondering if you were still at OSU. I know we aren’t as close as we once were, but I still care about you and want to be friends. I understand if you still don’t feel comfortable around me, but I will do what I can to make it easy on you. I know I can make this work. Just text me sometime this week, I will make time.”

She received messages like this almost bi-nightly ever since she finally raised the courage to end their tumultuous relationship six months ago. Each time she would compose a snarky, venomous reply that read almost exactly as the one she typed today: “Listen Brian, I know you have trouble accepting you’re not in control of a situation, but neither I nor life is going to create a circumstance in which we reconnect. You are incapable of “making this work” because it isn’t your situation to work, it’s mine. I was the one that left you, after years of obeying to your passive-aggressive, sly demands. The sacrifices I made for you are still affecting my life daily and I have no intention of delaying my life any more than I already have for someone as selfish and heartless as yourself. Nothing you can say is going to bring me back under your moralist, 1950’s reign of power. You will have to find another naïve, insecure girl to control, because I can’t be your graveyard anymore.”

Just as had happened with every occurrence, she never pushed send on the message. Unlike every other time, however, this time it was out of her control. The professor had spotted her and asked her to close her phone and not disrespect his class anymore. Angelina did promptly, deleting the message, but that did not suffice the irritated professor who then dismissed Angelina from the class. As Angelina walked out she began to cry. Life was finally starting to hit her. It’s strange how when problems start to appear, you just keep moving, hoping to stay ahead of the problems, not unlike a supersonic jet outracing sound against all logical conceptualization. But just like with the jet, eventually the sound and the fury will catch up with you; and if the problems have multiplied enough, then the sonic boom will be earth-shattering and catastrophic. The crash happening to Angelina was going to create a disaster zone.

She was able to make it to the bathroom before the tears rushed to the surface. She sat by the sink, staring down herself and a thousand problems. As her psychiatrist had taught her to do, she closed her eyes and imagined back to a time before any of these problems existed. She closed her eyes and was back in the eighth grade, passing notes to the latest crush. That night, the only concern she would face was that life wouldn’t change for the better. What a wonderful blessing that was; to never worry about the quality of life declining, always only the chance of improvement. This particular boy would, in fact, disappear from her life, leaving her in the same carefree spirits she already possessed, and creating opportunities for an onset of possibilities life hadn’t even presented yet. Now, Angelina Adams was at peace with the world.

She opened her eyes, now immune to the dried makeup and tears that covered her face and began phase two of her recovery. She made a list of all of the current problems that confronted her.

1. Brian is still a hindrance to my progress in life.

2. I haven’t found a job to replace the waitressing job I just quit.

3. My bills are due soon. I may have enough for one more month’s payments.

4. I need to ace about 80% of my remaining exams to not be placed on academic probation.

5. I cannot imagine that 20% of my remaining exams are ace-able.

6. I can’t survive without dependence or at least co-dependence on someone else. I need accompaniment.

The tears began to form again beneath her eyelids, the telling sign that her list was complete. “If what you have down so far is enough to overwhelm you,” she recalls her psychiatrist telling her, “then it is enough on your plate so far.” So Angelina read over the list and realized the magnitude of her issues. This was much bigger than the high school crushes that once kept her awake at night. Her problems now don’t keep her awake at all; Angelina just wants to sleep, and escape the problems for eternity. But Angelina remembered her tattoo and looked on the underside of her wrist. Bend but do not break. The lowest lows only create the highest climbs. She gathered herself and headed for the cafeteria.

To further test her belief in resiliency, as if she honestly needed it, the first person she encountered when she entered the cafeteria was none other than Brian. Angelina spotted his candid, shallow smile from the other side of open room. She tried to avoid his sight, but to no avail.

“Lina,” Brian shouted, as if they were lifelong friends happening upon each other, “How have you been? I tried texting you.”

“Please don’t call me that,” Angelina mumbled almost incoherently, “And I have noticed the texts I am just really busy with school.”

“Anything I could help with, Lina?” Brian asked. Brian was a year ahead of Angie and Angie loathed that more than almost anything about him. Brian had always previously experienced Angie’s college problems or had already taken her classes, and therefore always knew the correct line of action or at least new enough to belittle her issues.

“No, thank you,” she replied angrily, “your aide in previous semesters did not benefit me very greatly and I already asked you once, do not call me that.”

“I’ve always called you that,” Brian retorted, “you can’t change how I address you to justify hiding yourself from me. You’re disguising yourself behind a very thin veil.”

“No, I was once disguised behind a veil,” Angelina shouted, no longer worrisome of who heard, “I was once hidden behind the veil of your beliefs and your opinions. I even accepted a name that I loathed. After spending two decades writing my initials as “AA” you wanted to call me by a name beginning with “L” because you thought it was cute. Well I hated it, and this may sound like an innocuous offense to you, but to me it was one more damaging blow in your repertoire to anonymize me and recreate me as a clone of yourself. As much fun as you may consider having another you present, I would much prefer the rawest version of myself. Brian, you are no longer a part of my life and more importantly, not a piece of my future plans. If you could please make the egotistical compromise to treat yourself as such for my well-being, it would be much appreciated. If not, then I hope you are at least clear-headed enough to recognize why it is unhealthy for me to be a part of this charade you label life.”

Before she could even hear his robot-like retort that he always had, the one that always made her feel weak for having to display emotion to construe a point, she stomped off. The fact of the matter is Angelina Adams had spent many hours of every night for countless months erecting that statement in the most precise, truthful manner possibly conveyed. Because of that, she couldn’t stand there and let Brian potentially bring it down. She refused to lose even this to him after all that had already been sacrificed.

As she marched across campus, purposefully but without direction, her path was interrupted by a “freshmen friend,” Caroline Thomas.

“I watched what just happened back there,” she said, “and I am so proud of you for standing up to that sleazebag. How have you been?”

Angelina breathed in deeply, and with her exhale and a feign smile, she replied “Good, in my own apartment, now and trying to get through my degree and onto the real world. You?” She forced the fake laugh and displayed unreal optimism as she had so many times since freshmen year. That seemed so long ago, now. She was in her third year, but still a sophomore with the failed classes. Her academic struggles coincided with Brian to push her away from her friends, but she had realized recently that a self-empathy prevented her from being that happy now.

“I have no idea how you do it, Angie. I struggle every day to pay bills, keep my grades up, and stay social and you seem to do it as if it is the simplest task,” Caroline replied, “I wish you could show me your ways.”

At that moment, Angelina remembered why she liked Caroline more than her other friends. She was always so complimentary of Angelina. Angelina had longed for the support garnered from such a loyal companion, especially in the wake of the psychological warfare recently endured from Brian. Angelina genuinely liked, honestly appreciated, Caroline. Which is why for the first time in weeks, she accepted an invitation to an evening of interaction, in spite of the mountainous responsibilities she would be neglecting.

Angelina decided to skip her one remaining class to go back by her apartment to pay the water bill, seeing as it would be turned off tomorrow otherwise. On the three block walk home, she had the inexplicable impulse to call her mother. She couldn’t recall the last time she had placed a call to her mother and not in response to a missed call. But with all of the stresses of life culminating, the refuge of her mother’s voice sounded attractive to Angelina.

“Hey Angie,” her mother answered with a surprised tone, “everything ok?”

“Yeah, mom,” Angelina answered, exhaling before she continued, “I was just calling to vent, really. I ran into Brian today and exploded on him. I let him know exactly how I felt.”

“I know that must be hard,” Mrs. Adams answered reassuringly, “and that you feel like it was undeserved. Trust me, though, whatever you said was only a slight punishment for the way he treated you. You are a beautiful human being and as your mother, all I want is to see you blossom into a bold, beautiful, independent young woman. I will never forgive him for his impedance of that. I am so proud of you for standing your ground and being the self-sufficient woman I always knew you were capable of becoming and I love you very much.”

“Thanks mom,” Angelina answered, feeling the oncoming rush of emotions building, “but I am not as self-serving as you would’ve hoped I would be.”

“What are you talking about,” Angie’s mother replied, “you are 21 years old, living alone in a hardly familiar city battling through the hardest years of education at a prestigious university. Few people have ever been so accomplished at such a young age. I wish I had been.”

“But I’m not succeeding at this,” Angelina said, now sobbing, speaking through the tears, “I can’t find a job, or make myself even want to look. I am slowly falling behind on another semester of school. I can’t keep up with anything necessary to live independently. And now I am realizing I have pushed all of my friends away to the point that I am lonely. I have failed, at pretty much all of this.”

“Angelina Bethany Adams,” her mother replied sharply and unwavering, “failure means you have lost the chance to succeed. If you were to curb your educational progress and pace yourself to graduate at 25, would that make you a failure?”

“No,” Angelina managed to say through deep draws of much needed oxygen. Angelina never understood how her mother held together so well. If Angie could possess any superpower, it would be her mother’s unbreakable composure.

“And you also don’t think you can live alone,” her mother continued, “not many people can. I know I wouldn’t survive a weekend without your father. I would call 911 the first time a pipe busted. We aren’t independent creatures, Angie, you need to find someone supportive and not destructive to become a codependent. Fortunately, college is the perfect place to find people just like that. And you say you are a recluse now but I’m sure all of your pre-Brian friends would welcome you back with open arms. You guys were so close just a year ago. Have you reconnected with any since you returned to campus?”

“Yes,” Angelina answered matter-of-factly. A mother would always be able to reduce me to tears, and then dry up the same tears in a matter of minutes. “I just talked to Caroline. We are going out tonight. She was always the best communicator anyway.”

“See,” Mrs. Adams spoke, now with a sense of optimism, “just today you have ridded yourself of the ghosts of Brian and reconnected with your former best friend. Soon, school will be your only concern, and at that point you will be able to conquer it as well. As for your employment situation, find something once you can handle. Your father and I can always be your monetary safety-net. We can’t think of anything we would rather spend our cash on than an investment in your future.”

“Thank you mom,” she spoke, walking up the stairs to her apartment now, “for always believing in me, even when I ignore your calls, only to call you crying. I really do love you and appreciate this more than I could ever show you.”

“Honey,” Angelina’s mom said in the nurturing tone of a seasoned parent, “You showed enough gratitude the first month you were home to make any sacrifices you ever made worth it. One day you will understand this. The first time that your daughter stops crying simply because she is in your arms, you will have all the inspiration to give until your daughter is 21 and on the phone needing help, and for many years beyond that. I promise you have always been worthwhile, and always will be. I love you.”

When her mom gets sentimental, Angelina knows that it is intended more for herself than Angelina. But this time, Angelina needed to hear that more than ever in her life. The overwhelming anxiety was replaced by a sense of joyous bliss. All Angelina could manage to say was “Thanks, mom,” and hung up the phone. She sat down on her couch and stared out her window, basking in realization. “What a view,” she thought to herself, an epiphany that hadn’t really occurred since the day she moved into the place.

It is strange how hypnotic thought only occurs for some people in times of melancholy. If Angelina remained busy, she also remained distracted. When she was distracted, issues didn’t weigh on her and she maintained positivity about life. If Angelina was optimistic, then she was also fervent about opportunities surrounding her. This sense of enthusiasm kept her impervious to the negatives of the world and so the cycle began and continued. Hanging above Angelina’s was a quote from Albert Einstein: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” This could not possibly be truer than in this moment of Angelina’s journey.

The entire night with Caroline was forgettable, in the best way possible. They enjoyed drinks and food, caught up with each other’s life and enjoyed the other’s presence. Angelina found herself returning to the bad habit of distorting the facts of her recent struggles to make herself sound much more successful. One day soon, however, Angelina hoped to not have to falsify her accomplishments. The fact that Angelina felt she would take no memories home from this night was a positive, because she hadn’t dwelled on a single issue, even when the conversation turned to vulnerable discussion points.

“I don’t know, Angie,” Caroline said, “sometimes I feel like we were invincible as freshmen and took on every responsibility we could. I look back on that like I was either idiotic or delusional. Now I can hardly handle the responsibilities necessary for survival.”

“I think our optimism,” answered Angelina, “made us invincible. When life finally punched back we were unprepared. But the important thing is we staggered but never fell. Now we have given ourselves the chance to fight back. Luckily for us, the past few years have us hardened. The world doesn’t stand a chance.”

Caroline extended her glass and they toasted to that statement. Caroline suggested watching movies like they did each Tuesday as freshmen. Angelina thought this idea was the perfect end to the night and invited Caroline over to her place. They stopped to grab movies on the way, ‘classics’ as they called them, when truthfully they were just movies with positive memories attached. Angelina felt an oncoming headache and slight dizziness on the way home, probably from the alcohol. Angelina argued that she was fine, considering the number of drinks she can usually consume, she should have been right.

They arrived at Angelina’s apartment, and Angie turned to Carrie (Angelina decided to start calling Caroline this because she never received a shortened name like Angelina had freshmen year) to warn her that it was a mess. When she turned however, all Angelina could remember was the sharp pain of a bright light and falling to the ground. When she woke up, she was tied to a kitchen chair with Caroline a few feet from her face, flipping through the pile of documents Angelina had stowed away on her couch.

“For miss successful,” Caroline said, without looking up, “you sure seem to have failed to handle your responsibilities lately.” Angelina struggled with each end of the chair but was unable to budge the rope. She still felt weak, perhaps she was in shock from whatever was occurring, or maybe Caroline had drugged her. Angie was attempting to piece it all together. Caroline continued now, “I’m sure you are shocked to find one of your sweet ‘sheeple’ attacking you like this, you ignorant bitch. You seem to think the world has revolved around you. It looks like your world has hardly extended past these walls. What’s wrong? Was it too hard to face a reality with imperfections?”

Angelina began to panic, wondering what she could do and what all of this meant. She closed her eyes and tried to figure out an escape. All of her attempts seemed in vain. Now, the last epiphany was occurring in the mind of Angie Adams, she was going to die a 21 year old college student. Anxiety overwhelmed her and depression crushed her. The adolescent dreamer never envisioned life without marriage, college degrees, or employment. She was going to perish at the lowest point of her existence. Her breaths quickened, then became heavier. She resorted to the only refuge she knew. Close her eyes and return to the most unbreakable moment of happiness.

She struggled, thinking deep and hard to drown out the berating of Caroline. She heard her say “you left me staggering, but I never fell. Now I have a chance to fight back and unfortunately for you, I’ve been much more hardened than you, and you don’t stand a chance.” Angelina found it silly how Caroline felt that murdering a human being made her some sort of literary genius. Why would society even want to delve into the minds of a killer anyway? The action is a culmination of the greatest achievements in immaturity meeting the highest ignorance of responsibilities. Angeline wondered to herself why she would even care what Caroline had to say. Did she hope to invoke victim’s remorse? Does she realize how silly that sounds? What could she possibly be grasping about human understanding by ending a human’s ability to understand? How misguided could one be, thought Angelina.

The postulation had eased Angelina’s worries enough to allow her to escape reality and into her “zen zone” as she knew it. Completely unaware of her current surroundings, Angelina envisioned the one time she recalled where the world made perfect sense and life couldn’t defeat her. On the stillness of the street, she heard the all too familiar voice:

“I promise you have always been worthwhile, and always will be. I love you.”

Angelina whispered to herself, “Thanks, mom” then attempted to open her eyes, though she had grown too weak. Amidst Caroline’s babbling she thought she remembered hearing something about poison. Perhaps this was her method of execution. Angelina felt disoriented physically, but her mind remained as available as ever. Angelina was on to phase 2 of her process of psychological healing. She listed each of the problems that confronted her. And Angelina dwelled on this for moments before coming to the realization that with the end occurring, she had zero worries clogging her mind. What could possibly concern her now? What was done was done, and nothing could ever change who she was?

This spun into a different theological idea. What legacy had she produced? She was the all-American girl throughout high school and freshmen year. Each night, until the last, at least two people cared enough about her to call her uncontrollably. Even though Brian was the stick in the spokes that threw her off the bicycle of life, he had loved her enough to be part of her journey and would certainly love her in memoriam. Angelina would leave behind the unwavering love of a certainly crushed mother. Hundreds of friends would mourn her untimely loss, some to a much greater severity, but one fact now would be forever true; Angelina Adams was on a path to great success and because she refused to venture from the path, the loss of such a brilliant person is also the loss of a life of good and important work. In imagining that work, Angelina Adams is forever the success story she had dreamed of since the first time she donned a princess dress in front of a mirror.

As the poison infiltrated her mind and the light grew sharper in her sight, one thought stuck with Angelina in her waning moments, and she tried to mutter it as she died. “I will forever be the girl too good to die. Now, you’ll always be the girl who was a waste of a life.”

Angelina Adams died at 11:23 pm with a smile and a dream.

The most intriguing parts of any story, especially the ones involving death, are the ones we never hear.

[pyre-prism]

Fanfic - First Impressions at 4AM, Pt.1

Apparently, there’s no better time to meet someone than early in the morning...

Fandom - Batman, including headcanons Characters - Edward Nygma; Jonathan Crane Timeframe - Pre-Costume Other Notes - I have never been to a coffee shop in America, so I’m guessing, here...

Part Two

Edward barely paid any mind to the ambient noise in the coffee shop. The laptop in front of him held most of his attention, one hand periodically reaching for the cooling coffee to the side to bring the cup up to his lips, only for him to remember that he actually didn’t like the beverage as much when it was cold. That’s not to say that it was too noisy in the small space, but there was enough to provide a pleasant static of sorts to focus his thoughts through.

The pale red-haired man had come to this open-from-three-in-the-morning-‘til-midnight hole-in-the-wall several times since returning to Gotham City, especially during the early hours of the day… such as now. It was one of the few things he remembered in the slightest of pleasant lights from before he’d taken a scholarship in Metropolis several years earlier; the cosy wood-panelled walls had sheltered him from more than a few turbulent rollercoasters of reality in his teenage years, and he had truthfully been glad to see the corner table furthest from the door had been vacant when he entered. Over the course of his many visits, it was now practically his table, after all… and was certainly more ‘his’ than any spot in his father’s old hovel…

But, he was allowing himself to be distracted.

The bell above the door chimed, pulling Edward out of his thoughts and drawing his eyes up to look at the newest arrival. It was –unsurprisingly– someone he didn’t recognise. The man was very tall and very thin, dressed in a cheap crumpled suit. All in all, the man looked… rather worn and even quite… ‘brown’; his clothes were a generic mixture of plain browns making up a too-short ensemble coupled with a white button-up shirt that had to have seen better days, his briefcase looked like it had once been black but had since given way to an array of horrific scuff marks, his hair was a deep auburn mess that stuck up from his scalp like caramel-coloured thatching, his skin was tanned so darkly that it was almost a wonder the man wasn’t walking around with leather covering his body instead of regular human skin –plenty of scars, too, which tickled annoyingly at his curiosity.

Edward’s green eyes tracked the newcomer’s actions, watching him scan the shop with a piercing blue stare for a moment, searching for an open table. The man’s stare locked onto him, and Edward smiled –silently daring the stranger to do something, anything, about it. He raised an eyebrow when the other merely smirked slightly and picked his way through the place to claim the table closest to his own.

“It’s not polite to stare,” the taller redhead stated once he was seated and his briefcase had been placed almost delicately on the tabletop. There was a note of wry amusement embedded deeply into the man’s voice, and it made Edward grin slightly. “You look like a regular; their coffee any good?”

“Oh, quite. Though, I can’t say I much care for it after I’ve been distracted so thoroughly for so long.” He held up his cup for emphasis. “I think this one has… gone about half an hour without being simmered… but then, that wasn’t technically the fault of the staff.” Edward’s fingers danced across the keys of his laptop for a few seconds before he shut the machine and returned his attention to his impromptu conversation partner. “By the way, my name is Edward.”

The scarred man paused, weighing something in his mind for a moment before giving what he could only describe as a micro-shrug. “Jonathan.” One of his hands reached out for Edward to shake –it was large, especially compared to the man’s bony wrist, with long and thin fingers that any musician or surgeon would sell their soul for. “Do you often bring your work to a place like this at four in the morning?”

“There are worse choices. At least this one’s in the Burnley district, rather than the Cauldron.” Edward replied with a fully-realised shrug of his own after giving Jonathan’s hand a firm shake. “What about yourself? With you carrying something like that around,” he nodded at the man’s briefcase, “you’ve got to have some form of ‘work’ in there.” Jonathan’s expression… flickered –for lack of a better word– between bemusement and attentive curiosity, his eyes snapping to the leather case then back to him.

“Sometimes. Even in this day and age, there are things that work better on paper.” Jonathan said at last. “What sort of work do you do?”

They were interrupted by a young waitress coming over to the thin man’s table. “Hey there, what’ll you have?” she asked, pulling a notepad and pen out from one of her apron pockets.

“Hm… well, coffee, for starters. Black, and—…” a sudden yawn struck him, “…quick as you can, please, darlin’.”

The twang that had crept into the previously-impeccable Gothamite accent had Edward arching an eyebrow for the second time that morning. Miraculously, however, he managed to keep his mouth shut while the girl took the order and tottered off to fulfil it. He waited for all of a minute before the urge to say something overwhelmed him. “What about you, what’s your ‘story’?”

“What, you a journalist?” Jonathan asked, blinking, then shook his head. His voice was back to the Gothamite accent, slipping into it like a well-worn glove. “You first, Edward.”

He offered a quiet chuckle. “Very well. I suppose you could say that I’m a glorified security guard for people’s invisible lives.”

“There are a couple of ways that could be taken…” A low hum accompanied the statement, and it was quickly paired with a surprisingly-blank smile –Edward was actually impressed at just how much the man’s expression didn’t say.

“Ever heard of cyber-safety?”

“Personal security in a digital medium, yes?” was Jonathan’s response.

“I… well… Yes, but…” Edward sighed. “How very textbook… Let me guess, you’re a teacher?”

The tall redhead’s face twisted into a dark scowl for a second before smoothing out into a mere frown. “I was.”

That caused a nagging feeling in the back of Edward’s mind to flare up, as if there was something he should be connecting the dots between… between that and something else he’d absorbed at one point or another. However, he shoved it closer to the end of his mental waiting list, deciding to ponder the topic after he was alone once more. “And now?”

Jonathan sighed, although the tiny smirk that wormed its way across his angular features lessened the effect somewhat. “Now, I work at Blackgate. I used to split my time between the university and the prison, before… that. Although, I’ve been hearing talk that they’re thinking of getting the old asylum back up and running –might see about switching over to it, if it happens.”

“Why not just stay at the prison, rather than take an entirely new job? Most people would prefer the stability.”

“The patients would be more interesting.” Bony shoulders rose and fell in jerking motions that somehow looked almost natural on the taller man. “The stranger, the better… and yet there’s only so much variety in those on death row, for example.” The waitress returned with Jonathan’s coffee, and he offered her a smile. Edward snickered inwardly as she returned the brittle expression with a cheery but tired smile of her own, wondering just how gullible she was, to see something like that as either warm or friendly. “Much obliged.”

“It’s only natural to prefer a challenge, if you happen to be fortunate enough to sit on the more intelligent side of the playground, isn’t it?” Edward paused. “So, you’re a psychiatrist, hm?”

“Yes.” Jonathan smirked around his drink, oozing an almost obscene amount of pride at the fact.

Edward inspected him a little closer. “You look a bit young… Doesn’t that sort of profession generally keep you in training wheels until you’re thirty or more, supposing you go to it first rather than some other occupation?” Another shrug and a non-committal grunt were his only answers. “Still, it’s almost amusing… You and I are –in a way– in the same business.”

“Mmn? How so?”

“Let’s just say that I paid for my coffee with second-hand dirty money.”

He watched the other redhead turn Edward’s words over in his mind. “So, police, then?”

“Head of the Cybercrime Division, as of… oh, eighteen hours ago, actually.”

A chuckle burbled in the thin man’s chest. “Didn’t peg you for that kind of ‘glorified security guard’, to be honest. You look more like a stereotypical librarian.”

Edward snorted. “Oh, so the conversation’s going down that route? Well, in that case, you look like a stereotypical farm-boy trying to make it in the big city.”

Jonathan shook his head. “I guess I walked into that one, didn’t I?”

“You did. Blindly.”

A muffled ringtone suddenly interrupted the both of them, and Edward smirked as his new acquaintance started, set his cup aside and fumbled with the latches on his briefcase for a few seconds before getting the case to open. He leaned forward, trying to get a glimpse at its contents, but Jonathan’s hands were quicker, snatching the ringing phone out and closing the case in one quick sequence of motion.

“This is Crane… What? He’s… oh, for the love of… Double the dosage. Yes, I know what I’m… Fine! I was going to be on my wa—… Yes, I know what time it is; you’re the one who called me. Alright.” He cut off the call with perhaps a bit more force than was strictly deserved, gave the small machine a sour grimace, then tucked it into an interior pocket of his suit jacket. A moment later, and he’d poured the remainder of his coffee down what had to be a cast-iron throat. “Well, it was nice talking with you, Edward, but… duty calls.”

“Not a problem.” Edward shrugged. “It was rather pleasant to have someone to talk to who’s closer to my own level.” He smiled. “I’m usually here for the early morning lull… perhaps we’ll catch up again some other time, Doctor Crane?”

Jonathan chuckled wryly. “So you caught that, did you? Perhaps… perhaps.”

And with that, he stood, dropped a few bills onto the table, and –with a single jaunty wave– left the shop, briefcase tightly in-hand…

It didn’t take Edward very much longer to do likewise… not including finishing off his cold coffee.

[bouncingtigger10]

New Post has been published on The Bouncing Tigger Reads

New Post has been published on http://www.tiggerreviews.com/when-there-is-more-than-you-think-dawn-explains/

When there is more than you think: Dawn explains

  Dawn Barker explains Autisim and the book

First of all, thank you for having me on your blog today. I’m very excited that More Than Us is out now!

Thank you also for asking me to explain a little bit about some of the mental health conditions that are central to the characters in More Than Us. For those who haven’t read it yet, More Than Us tells the story of a family who must make drastic decisions about the mental health treatment of their son, and then deal with the fall-out for their family, and particularly their children, when the parents have completely opposing views about his psychiatry treatment.

One of the main characters in More Than Us is a teenage boy named Cameron. Cameron has always been different to his sister, and different to the other children around him. He was harder to manage as a baby and toddler, with behavioural issues and struggles at school. His mother is sure there’s something wrong with him; his father thinks he’s just a child and shouldn’t have to be the same as everyone else.

I chose to write about this issue in the book as when I’m not writing, I work as a child psychiatrist here in Perth, Australia. I therefore see every day that diagnosing behavioural and emotional difficulties in children is not as straightforward as diagnosing a medical illness: there’s no blood test or scan that can tell us what’s ‘wrong’ and we depend on information and observation from many places to help formulate a diagnosis and tailor treatment, both psychological and sometimes, medication, if appropriate. Also, children are developing and changing all the time, and so are their symptoms.

In More Than Us, Cameron doesn’t fit neatly into any box. He has features of an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, and he also has features of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Over many years, other symptoms appear that seem to relate to ADHD, or anxiety, or depression. This again, is not uncommon in my day to day work.

In child psychiatry, symptoms often overlap. For example, an Autistic Spectrum Disorder involves symptoms of not only social difficulties, but also restricted and repetitive interests and behaviours. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder involves, amongst other symptoms, repetitive compulsive behaviours that may appear to parents, or teachers, as restricted behaviours. The two conditions, however, are very different, as is their treatment. To complicate things, children may have both conditions, and in fact many mental illnesses commonly co-occur with others.

I see children with social difficulties all the time in my practice, and Cameron in More Than Us struggles to relate to his peers at times. It had been suggested when he was younger that he may have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, which, by definition, involves difficulty in social communication. However, he doesn’t quite fit in that box.

Other mental health disorders can create social difficulties too: someone with OCD may be so preoccupied with their worrying, obsessional thoughts and completing their compulsions that they can’t concentrate on social interactions; someone with ADHD may struggle to control their impulses or their attention on conversations; someone who is depressed will be so flat in their mood that they don’t have the energy or motivation to relate to others.

I wanted to explore in the book how all of our behaviours exist on a spectrum, from what we would class in our society as ‘normal’, social and confident children, to those people whom we see at work or school every day who don’t fit the norm. They may be ‘quirky’ or a little odd, or avoid social interactions, or just seem to not understand social communication. That’s not necessarily an illness or mental health condition and diagnosis depends on a really careful and thorough history and observation of a child and family over time. Not every child who has social difficulties has an autistic spectrum disorder, and diagnosing children is complex.

I hope that readers of More Than Us can put themselves in the place of Cameron’s mother and father, and consider what they would do in that situation, if Cameron was their child. After writing the book, it has become even clearer to me that there is no right or wrong answer, and no right or wrong way to raise your own child, but even if parents disagree about treatment, or any aspect of parenting, they mustn’t forget that the most important thing is to ensure that their child is happy and thriving, regardless of their own views.

Thanks again for having me on your blog today and I hope your readers enjoy More Than Us.

Links to Book:

Amazon (UK)

Kobo (UK)

Google Books (UK)

Apple Books (UK)

Author Bio:

Dawn Barker is a psychiatrist and author. She grew up in Scotland, then in 2001 she moved to Australia, completed her psychiatric training and began writing. Her first novel, ‘Fractured’, was selected for the 2010 Hachette/Queensland Writers Centre manuscript development programme, was one of Australia’s bestselling debut fiction titles for 2013, and was shortlisted for the 2014 WA Premier’s Book Awards. Her second novel is ‘Let Her Go’. Dawn lives in Perth with her husband and three young children.

Twitter: @drdawnbarker

[chicleeblair]

this became a long ass post so going to give you the bullet points and then cut. (One quick thing I can't find a place for, I paused the episode to read the article on liv's iPad and it mentioned baracas was still in the hospital, how much work do you think Phil margraves put in to keep his zombiism quiet???) ▪︎why is Weckler's daughter a zombie? ▪︎please stop making mental illness a joke or an annoyance thank ▪︎did u really have to make liv's heterosexuality explicit? rly? ▪︎is baracas's kid a zombie? ▪︎did wecker steal the card for Baracas or Fillmore Graves? ▪︎when did weckler's wife die and did he know of fillmore graves then? ▪︎why? a threat to Tatum or something else for her? ▪︎is he basically FG's major? ▪︎speaking of, i don't know where shawna came from, but she sure as hell didnt go to that camp ▪︎even if weckler worked for FG from the start why steal for them? also why not zombie? speculation and a few more thoughts and theories: i liked this episode for it's weaving of plots, continuity nods, and because i like getting to see Liv's visions from the outside every once in a while. it also made me realize that we haven't had much voiceover lately, and I missed it. The return of AJ was cool--i love that we always know prisoners brought in as witnesses--and the reveal that not only are Tatum and her friend a zombie, they're somehow connected to Filmore Graves. I do wish the show would stop putting hallucinations in for laughs. they could at least balance it out with one episode that really delves into taking on a typical psyche, because even the agoraphobia one was fairly late. Also all the PTSD brains have been soldiers and aside from there being tons of other types of people who develop it, their military bearing has always overshadowed the ptsd. finally, I could do without the unnecessary assertion of liv's heterosexuality, especially in a statement that evokes the awful trope of "straight girl really wishes she could be in love with her bestie, but she's too thirsty for peen." unnecessary, especially in a show that could have kept blaming the brains whenever she shows interest in ladies, but leaving the question of if Liv truly swings both ways ambiguous. (plus, frankly 'sorry, Peyton i'm not attracted to you,' doesn't HAVE to be followed up by, 'because you're not a man." i really think they straight up made a choice to annihilate all "liv isnt totally straight!" headcanons--though at least she said "men" not "dicks." thank you standards and practices, here's my petition to make Revolving Door Boyfriend #4 trans* fwiw, I think James Weckler killed Roxanne on behalf of Baracas. I'm not sure how they connected, but I bet that his employer--be it Filmore Graves or Baracas directly--turnes Tatum in return. What wouldn't a man who feels that guilty over his wife's death do for his daughter? Between the prison psychiatrist saying he couldn't afford Rozanne and the speed of his confession--like he'd been told to do so--maybe his employer said they'd get him out, but I bet he knew he'd be eliminated. Also, this scenario makes me thing Baracas had some influence on the plan, b/c he knows the lengths a parent will go to for their kid. i do wonder if Weckler's self-blame is survivor's guilt, if someone forced him to cause his wife's death, or if he found out later FG or another entity caused the accident because of something he did or to show they were a threat. do we know how long ago the wife died? if it was a while ago I might think he wa connected to Filmore Graves long before the zombie stuff--before he had a family maybe?--and either went to them after she died or they found him. (would they have any reason to need a human? did they plan to leave Roxanne alive/l not infected?). if a former FG employee thought his daughter was in danger, i could see him approaching them for protection. i could even see her having cancer or something--or injured when her mom died?-- and him hoping FG could pull strings to get her better care and discovering they could do more than that. a kid's health is a particularly intense motivator. it would definitely explain things since he wasn't infected, but Tatum knew about a "they." maybe some of her discomfort is guilt. if he wasn't affiliated with FG, i could see them seeking out a pawn who could be so easily manipulated. if he was working for FG not just Baracas, i wonder if he "took care" of anything else and wasn't caught. i'm not sure if i believe FG had anything to do with Wally's death, but if they did I could see them manipulating Wecker or some other desperate person who wouldn't be immediately connected to them. i also think the his relationship to his employee will parallel Major's & Max Rager especially because of how many references we've been getting to the chaos killer and the Max Rager kidnapping victims. shawna may fit into that somehow, too. I wish we knew how long ago her letter had been sent, because that would help determine if she is affiliated with Fillmore graves or someone else. or maybe they got to him through Tatum. maybe that friend or someone else affiliated w/FG infected her and made Weckler work for them in return for keeping her in brain yogurt or Occam's razor, he worked tor FG (most likely in one of the non-combat positions), took on a new position post infection. maybe even before--they could have needed a clean-up grunt long before being zombies. FG takes care of Tatum b/c she's still one of them--which is complicated if they killed Wally--her discomfort with Clive and Liv could be b/c she wants to lash out at the "them" her father died for but the risk is too high--again especially if they orchestrated Wally's death, or even if she thinks they did. there is one more detail that complicates things: why do these girls know Liv is a zombie, but not that she's with the police. if they saw her before due to Fillmore Graves they'd be more likely to know that before knowing she was infected, right? *do zombie kids age? this affects my theory, and since they introduced a teen zombie in the same episode that opens with a mention of Buck, and had truther wonder if zombies aged suggests to me that we should also ask that question. **fwiw i don't think they'll kill Justin, b/c they're a bit more savvy than some shows/doing that would be really repetitive, but I could see him riding off into the sunset...