#<< not shown: just joke

[moldwood]

😭😭😭 my phone is begging me to put tumblr down like a sick animal...

[ineffably-human]

So here's my problem.

And it's not about Nandermo, not exactly anyway. Because I didn't expect Nandermo to become textual until the very end, if at all. The show kept making it clear that they liked their ambiguity to keep the relationship on the razor's edge, and Paul Simms made it clearer and clearer that for some reason (put a pin in this) he just couldn't see their connection as a sexual one.

But I frankly don't care about that, because if anything is canon in this show it's that the vampires will eventually fuck everything, and Nandor canonically fucks his other friends. More importantly, their connection was always the emotional core of both characters. And Paul always did say he saw their relationship as a romance, if a strange and non-sexual one.

So I figured we'd maybe get Nandor confessing that Guillermo meant a lot to him (and immediately walking it back a little), or Guillermo confessing how lost he feels without his vampire dream and Nandor offering him a place. Maybe an ambiguous, could-just-be-queerplatonic-partners 'I love you'. Maybe just the hug they kept teasing for three or four seasons and never got. We got like...half of two of those, in episode 10, so I guess that's a wobbly semi-fulfilled thing by my definition of it.

But it's not the Nandermo of it all. It's the Guillermo of it all. And how this final episode seemed to almost mock Guillermo's place at the emotional core of the show.

And the Guillermo of it all is why we never got the Nandermo of it all.

Shadows has vampires doing absurd-ass things, but every character also has things they want and feel, and there are various amounts of emotional ink spilled about it. The show has found space, sometimes very poignant space, to take that seriously in between the piss and sex jokes. The vampires change very slowly and in spirals, they repeat a lot of their old issues that stem back even to their mortal lives. But they always try.

And things do change in the vampire house; that is not the same household from the first season. Every single character, right down to the Baron and the Guide and Derek, are in different and better places than they were before the show began. They've made progress in their individual desires, and a lot of that is due to the improved connections they have with each other, connections we've watched them foster. A lot of the time it's because they're talked about as a found family, something Guillermo started and Guillermo believed before any of the rest of them did.

---

So where is Guillermo this season? Our human point of view, our dynamic character, the character who has a dream and wants something more than any of the others? Whose dream drives the storyline of the entire show?

Guillermo has chosen to be human, and he thinks he can't be part of the household if he's not a vampire. We watch Guillermo try to throw himself back into the human world trying to make up for lost time - to the point that he forgets the person he called his best friend, the people he called his family, in a way I think we never fully resolve. He thinks he's thriving, and he doesn't even seem upset about leaving the others behind.

We watch him revert (and that's fine, people revert sometimes) to the same waiting lapdog he was when we started the series. We watch him realize that and he says no. Nandor stands up for him, and feels better and more fulfilled in doing so, and that's a great capstone for Nandor and Nandor's own tendency for selfishness. And that's excellent. Episode 10 was a great start for all the ground they had to cover.

Nandor offers for Guillermo to be his partner in crime. His sidekick, but Guillermo expressed that desire back in season one so it's not an insult inherently. But here's the problem. Here's the part of Guillermo that has frankly always been a problem, because I thought it's something the show was eventually going to cover respectfully, and instead it was always part of the joke.

---

Guillermo is someone who made a decision sixteen years ago as part of a very young man's desire, to be respected and have cool powers, to live forever, to see the world. (He somehow thought being a vampire, and only a vampire, could get him those things but that's a rant for another time.)

That young man has grown up. He's in his mid-thirties, he has a body count. We've watched him at various times be empathetic, clever, cunning, and brave. Also extremely sexy in bodyguard gear. (And for some reason, the show keeps wanting us to forget that for a season he was extremely competent and badass and sexy pretty much all the time, and he seemed thrilled to be in that role, and he didn't even care about being a vampire if he could protect Nandor in that way and be regarded as 'part of the team'.)

Then Nandor dresses him in a stupid cowboy costume, and gives him a sidekick name ending in 'Kid', which he seems less than thrilled about. They all still talk about him the entire episode as if he's a disobedient child. The vampires speculate if Guillermo is having a fling with the crew, but no - Guillermo's had one boyfriend, who we saw him hug once and nothing more. Despite living in a house for fifteen years that is openly raunchy and shameless, he seems like a character designed to be both desexed and humiliated, and they never expand on the reason why.

(And if Guillermo were ace it'd be amazing, hell it's my headcanon at this point, but I don't think that's what they're going for. I think the show just desexualizes Guilermo. As a matter of praxis. For some reason.)

And the show has done this more and more to Guillermo in the later seasons. Nandor says he could steal original!Freddie easily from Guillermo if he wanted to. The vampires laugh at the thought of him being a vampire - "a little bat pooping everywhere," and Guillermo's time as a vampire has him basically feeling no different in his sexuality or, after a very brief moment, his confidence. Even Nandor's big climactic moment in Episode 10 has him saying that just because Guillermo isn't as cool or hot or interesting or strong as Jordan (or Nandor) doesn't mean Guillermo deserves to be treated poorly.

Look, I don't know if it's because Harvey Guillen is babyfaced, or because he's fat, or because he carries a different energy to his masculinity. Or because it's great to talk about gay sex and being horny, but writing a gay relationship is just too hard. Or some fun combination of all those things.

But I keep thinking about everyone freaking out when Nandor swooped into the collapsed floorboards to save Guillermo in season 4, and everyone freaked out and swooned. And Paul Simms expressed that as "[Nandor] has to save his little buddy."

Guillermo is a grown-ass man, with a desire to feel powerful and special and accepted, who Nandor sees as his little buddy. (Who everyone in the house sees as their little buddy, and it's nice he's part of the family, but...) After every emotional beat that makes them seem like equals with a special connection, he reverts to the less-cool sidekick who makes Nandor feel special and important. And Guillermo's prior devotion to Nandor - not to vampirism, not to a job or promotion, to Nandor - changes to other things, but Nandor never figures out why that hurts him so much. And for some reason the deepest bond of the series just isn't sexual, the showrunner just can't see it that way, in a house where everyone's fucking but not you Guillermo.

We're at the end of the story, and that's our punchline.

---

And we don't end on one of the points where Guillermo is asserting himself as someone who deserves to be taken seriously, and given the things he wants - and the show has had plenty of those moments, all of which seem to be building and evolving his relationships over the years.

We end on Guillermo being told that suddenly, the documentary is packing up without any fanfare or clarity on what they were looking for in the first place. We get Guillermo stumbling for clarity on what it all meant, what the point was for him and what his life is going to be now. We're told over and over again the documentary (and Guillermo, and the viewers) needs a satisfying capstone, needs emotional closure.

And the vampires tell him to shut up. And they tell him this has all happened before, and none of it is special to them. ("No human is special," Nandor said several episodes ago, and never went back on it.) And they tell him to do a little dance for their amusement, and Colin recites some pithy lines. And every attempt to take a moment to care about Guillermo's journey, or the core of his character and what he needs, is turned into a joke for him and for us.

Guillermo's looking for a point to it all, for some kind of fulfillment, and there wasn't one. And everyone is satisfied in that but him. And even if there were times Guillermo got the chance to be respected, to have cool powers (which he kept, but the vampires keep forgetting them), to live forever (he will die and leave Nandor someday!), to see the world - none of these things are going to come to him now.

It would make absolute, complete, and devastating sense for Guillermo to feel he's outgrown them and to leave. Nandor doesn't even seem upset enough to try and stop him. We never really get a clear reason about why he decides to stay.

I mean, it's for friendship or something, with a line about how they can still be close but he needs 'his own thing'. But in six seasons, over and over and over, we've been driven back to the idea that the most emotional part of this story is Guillermo's desire to become accepted in this family, and the effect he has on Nandor. That Guillermo needs this home and he consistently makes Nandor softer, kinder, less selfish and more fulfilled when they're together.

But those parts of their relationship, the love story parts, don't matter. Guillermo is going to find 'his own thing' when it's been clear how entrenched in this world he is (right down to his DNA), but Nandor will drag him back into shenanigans anyway, probably keeping Guillermo from whatever 'his own thing' is.

And Guillermo will always be Nandor's sidekick, his little buddy, never to be taken seriously. And one day, Guillermo will die, and he'll be someone they all forget. And for some reason, he'll be just fine with that, because he belongs with them but will never really be in a better position.

And he'll be satisfied with that. For some reason. But I won't.

[mykashg]

You know for comedians, you're all a little out of touch.

HACKS Season 3, Episode 4 "Join the Club"

[mblue-art]

out w these tall clowns 🌲🌸

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Los Chicos Peleandoooooo

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[pixlokita]

Mutuals: -posting about Lego show-

Me: dang these arts are gorgeous

Friend: there’s gay monkeys in it also

Me:

[jasontoddsgaythoughts]

If DC wants to keep pushing out different types of Gotham War comics for every year, they may as well make a Gotham Batman Ships war next year. They get to make light fun of their fans. Batman is spread all over somewhat romantically like hummus. They get to bring in different heroes and Gotham villains to fight reluctantly (they don’t want the Batman they just want the honor). The batkids get to sit cute on the sidelines and laugh at their dad’s misery. It’s fun

[ravinoforre]

Happy 21st Anniversary to Tales of Symphonia! Our favourite Iselians are stuck in IKEA liminal space hell but they're still putting together a party to celebrate. Things aren't going quite according to plan though...

[noirandchocolate]

The Yiga Clan isn’t a cult in my honest opinion.

They’re more like a crime syndicate.

If a crime syndicate was also an oppressed minority group subjected to a genocide in the distant past and continued marginalization in the present as they’re forced to lurk at the edges of and mostly outside society to eke out a living through theft and violence while the “good” members of the same minority who accepted the harsh terms of cultural genocide at the hands of the very people they served get to stand next to every other race that reviles them and call them “evil” and “traitors” because they seek justice against the divine-right monarchy that betrayed them first and have forsworn the goddess who never once deigned to help them.

They're not monsters to be mowed down, they're people. People who engage in genuine and understandable strife against authority figures who uphold systems of inequality.

...

Anyway, that's what I think.

(Edit: For even more of me rambling, see the notes.)

[hopefromadoomedtimeline]

There's really gotta be some layer of irony to the fact that despite Saiyans being by far one of the biggest staples of DBZ, there's really barely anything we know about them lore wise.

Like it was just decided one day that Saiyans' home planet wasn't Planet Vegeta and was some other planet and they ended up colonizing an entirely different planet.

How did they get there? What were the relations like between Tuffle and Saiyan? What was their old planet like? What do Saiyans do when not fighting??

Who cares! Have Super Saiyan whatever.

[robbed-ghost]

First, they discontinue super sons issues, bringing it back for a Halloween special edition and then ghost.

Then, they have Jon age up and date immediately in time for pride, no warning.

Then, he’s Superman.

Then, we get a super sons movie where he’s 10 again (?)

Then, they have Jon and Dick team up as a protege-mentee situation—not bad! Just…not quite the character we’ve just established. Not quite Jon

Then, they have Jon and Damian babysitting wonder woman’s daughter for *checks books* 7 years????? Making Damian and Jon 21 and 24 respectively??? Ok…?

Then, they do Beastworld, and Nightwing comics, AND Superman comics AND Wonder Woman issues with Jon in ALL OF THEM at the SAME TIME and looking vastly different in all of them, with vastly different characterizations, none of them solid, consistent, or acknowledging the fact that he’s been trapped inside a volcano and travelling the multiverse and having a boyfriend all in the same breath.

What am I supposed to be believing right now, DC.

[faunandfloraas]

Sometimes I remember lee know saying he wants to do a song with Seungmin and I.N bc he'd like to be a part of vocalracha and then I remember that was well over a year ago and there's still nothing.... </3

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

am i the only one who found it weird that entrapta was attracted to robots and machines? which were not implied to be sentient in the slightest?

(at least emily seemed to act like a pet, i don't recall darla or that random robot being sentient at all; and it would be equally, if not more weird, if entrapta was implied to be attracted to emily)

i don't care about the sexualization since entrapta is an adult, and creators putting barely disguised adult jokes into children's shows isn't anything new. but to have the only autistic character be sexually attracted to robots is.. kinda icky to me.

[basu-shokikita]

i understand that because of the runtime it couldn't be addressed properly but i still mourn not seeing dethklok's immediate treatment of toki post rescue. or toki's belated resentment upon realizing dethklok took way longer to save him than they should've because they were out partying while he hallucinated about them. like, that deserved at least a conversation. the mixture of relief and guilt within the other four because toki is alive and back with them but deeply scarred both physically and psychologically and maybe if they had acted faster it wouldn't be this way. them having the actual talk about toki not needing to incur to strangers for love because they do love him. and a lot. dethklok actually trying to work out the things that lead them to the current situation. i have hopes that after defeating salacia they will recover their memories and can properly heal from all that but i just. i wish we would've had a proper closure to toki's arc before rushing into the end of the world. again, i understand why it had to be this way i just. i mourn the possibilities.

[cherry-treelane]

I find it so ironically funny when hardcore Debbie defenders use the defense that she was just a victimised teenage girl (agreed) and then proceed to slander Fiona and express their hatred for her character and lack of sympathy

as if being an adult magically absolves an individual of the horrifying trauma that precedes them and screws up their mentality and actions

funnily enough these people get mad at others for "expecting Debbie to be an innocent angel and hating on her for acting out as a result of trauma" (also agreed, debbie does deserve more sympathy, she can't be expected to grow up to be a perfect saint when she's been through so much) yet seem to hold Fiona to the same unattainable standards and put her on a pedestal as if she wasnt a child that was forced to intensely grow up while never actually being raised

like lets put this into perspective and remember that fiona grew up surrounded by corrupt morals and insanely screwed up behaviour yet still emerged as messed up, yes, but surprisingly good considering the situation she was in??? she had to navigate basic things such as morals and being a good, responsible person on her own. imagine how difficult it must be to lead a bunch of kids, including yourself, with no previous role model or good example of your own to follow. most of the time, she always tried to do what she thought was best and would have the most desirable outcome

[cringefaecompilation]

people are already saying that the vision won't change anyone's mind. i mean, it might change one guy's mind, one in particular who's really been deadset in his ways. won't make him hate the gods, but it'll kick his butt into gear about another problem he's got.

orym and cassida are so alike it hurts. i thought i was helping. i am helping. i want to walk alongside you. why won't you tell me anything? please trust me. i'll do anything you ask me to. all my suffering to get where i am had to have been for a reason. there is hope in everything if you just hold on to it. please don't make me do this. i'll do it if it helps you.

cassida is used time and time again by everyone, by aeor, by the gods, by ludinus all to justify their actions and to assuage their guilt. who remembers her? she was just another nasty hubris wizard, another victim killed by the wicked gods, another casualty of a war that higher powers fought amongst themselves.

orym is much the same. kicked around by the world but always staying on top. he'll do anything anybody asks of him with no care for his own well-being; pragmatic to a fault and goal-oriented as a perfect little soldier. these are not virtues.

when he cannot do something he overexerts himself. he seeks out dangerous pacts with fey hags with his own life as payment. he'll tell everyone else that they are good and kind and more than their powers, but he doesn't believe it himself. and what he gets for this devotion is mission after mission with no rest and the swinging sword over his neck telling him that it will be an eventuality that both his dearest friends will have to die by his hand.

(this isn't keyleth's fault. i'm not trying to take orym's agency from him or blame her influence fully on his suffering.)

if orym keeps pushing himself this hard and keeps justifying his self-harming, it isn't a question of if he will die, but when. ever since he got back from the moon he's been coming closer and closer to realization but hasn't quite reached it. we can only hope he sees himself in someone like her, trying her damnedest to see hope against all odds before it's too late.