#<< WOW i havent used that tag in ages

[skepsies]

long time no enjolras

[mymameisnotknown]

I gave in

[joker-ace]

man i remember being such a huge fan of your art from 2016 when i started following you (mystic messenger and vld/klance days) and when i see you active it makes me happy and almost nostalgic…? sorry if that doesn’t make sense, but i wish you all the happiness and love in the world fergie <3

d'aww, thanks for saying so!! I know I only pop in here from time to time now, and post stuff more actively elsewhere, but tumblr will always have a certain niche in my heart for it, so I do get what you mean. I wish the same happiness and love back at you!

[judaciously]

hi tumblr. i hang out here a lot but only post inane thoughts on twitter. i know i have some pretty tumblr-only friendquantinces and i want you to know about my pokemon fanfic i just posted the third chapter of it’s dear to me and i’ve been working on the idea for over a decade. you should check it out heres the link

[xamaxenta]

I hate how leaving the house makes me feel human again

[youredreamingofroo]

- OC Evolution : Roo Norman

I got tagged by @elderwisp !! thank you for the tag i love your oc so much shes SO PRETTY!! I will, of course, be doing Roo, but thats also because I do nawt have any sim/oc evolutions besides Roo so LMFAO

Headshot -

Full Body -

I have chatterboxed about Roo more times than a scribe has recited his library, but seeing this evolution of Roo definitely feels like a sculpture that im constantly carving to perfection, in a years time if im still playing Sims 4 (and if it still works), I will look back on this new Roo and be like "wow I definitely could've done so many things differently," which is nice, because I don't want him to be the same, I don't want him to forever look like the first rendition, I don't want him to be the same age forever (hence why he's 28 and not still 23-24), not gonna continue to preach the same bible that i've preached ever since i've shared him, but i just like to re-appreciate him a lot and I don't think a lot of people (especially newer followers) havent seen the tragedy of his pipeline of appearance LMAO

im a little upset about being late to this cuz i dont know who has and hasnt done this so... whoever sees this, do it! it's fun to see how your OC has changed, it doesnt have to be a sim either (roo is not even originally a sim, i just use sims as an outlet to create what he looks like since i cant fucking draw <3), it can be an evolution of your drawn oc!

[mothmage]

20 Qs for fic writers

Tagged by @monstersinthecosmos , thank you!!!

1. How many works do you have on A03? 31 (and a few anon, i think 2 or 3. idk, when i post a fic on anon i forget about it forever)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 446,135

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently/primarily vc, iwtv (amc), star wars, and merlin (bbc)!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? A Lovely Little Normal Life (which, honestly, kind of annoys me lol. i know it's just bc it's a huge fandom, but really? the stupid little 12k harry potter fic i wrote in two days is my most kudos? please...); Arthur Pendragon, Long May She Reign (forever pushing my lesbian genderswap agenda); The Face of God (les mis slightly canon divergent javert character study); The Odyssey of Recollection (amc iwtv s1 pov armand); Away From Stranger Tides (potc philip/syrena fic i started ages ago and never finished, lol)

5. Do you respond to comments? yes i love talking to people in comments!!!! i've made a lot of friends through comments!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? omg. umm. merthur fans don't know this yet bc i havent finished posting but it's arthur pendragon long may she reign (BUT it's part of a series, so it's literally fine). idk, i dont tend to write long fics that end angsty. but my angstiest fic in general is probably Hollow-Boned Boy (armand contemplating his human life in the early CoD era) or Vision of the Damned (daniel's turning from armand's pov)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i love a happy ending!! my series Odysseus in White Silk is probably the happiest ending, and in such an undeserved way hahaha it's so very AU because i was sad after s1 of the show and just wanted them all (and armandaniel) to live happily ever after

8. Do you get hate on fics? i dont think i ever have, but i tend to read comments in good faith too, so maybe someone out there is annoyed that i interpreted their vague dislike comment as a genuine comment or something, idk. in general though, i'll say no

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes but i dont post that often, idk if there's a particular kind, but generally it tends to be a little rougher than is probably appropriate without discussion in real-life situations, but also very...idk my friend described it as very tender, like theyre very clearly in love. which is so funny considering that that kind of tenderness irl gives me fucking hives lmfao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? oh wow, not in a long time. i do have a wip sitting around rn that's a crossover between london spy and cloud atlas, which is really crazy until you remember that ben whishaw is in both london spy and the cloud atlas movie lol. and cloud atlas is already about weird reincarnations and parallel worlds and stuff, so it isnt too out-there.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? i dont think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes!! The Face of God was translated into Korean by ao3 user Crescent919 !! i've had a few comments on other fics asking to translate for personal use (always yes, of course), but no one else has asked to share a translation publicly

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no!! i've been thinking about it lately though

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? all-time? probably merlin/arthur from merlin (bbc). it's the whole fate-destiny-choice thing, it just compels me like nothing else

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? hmmm, i would like to finish Roswell -- well, kinda (agent carter farm girl / alien crash landing au) because i still have all the original notes and outlines and stuff. i also made a shitty conlang when i was first writing it, which is crazy lol. but it would need some pretty serious revisions, and i would definitely rewrite the first few chapters that i posted years ago. i just kind of lost the agent carter bug, but i might return to that fic if i ever get in the mood for it again.

16. What are your writing strengths? ooh, i'm not really sure! i get a lot of comments mentioning characters' voices and/or personalities, so i would say maybe that!!! i also feel that i'm fairly good at mimicking an author's writing style when i want to (notably, i do not mimic anne rice when writing vc fic, lol)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? editing for sure. i have at least a hundred fics sitting on my hard drive fully or almost-fully written that i just need to edit. but i would simply rather die than do all of that. it's also why my whole merlin fic got put on pause while i went down the vc rabbithole, because i just can't bring myself to go edit the next chapters lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? hmm, i think it's usually unnecessary and comes off as a bit silly. that said, i did do it once (maybe excessively) in Daniel Molloy, Time Bandit (1984 daniel ends up in 1794 theatre des vampires, it's more of a character study than a time travel fic) BUT, let me defend myself -- i did it because daniel doesnt understand french, it's his pov, and he's incredibly confused and distraught for most of the fic. i felt like the dialogue being in french conveyed this sort of "daniel does not belong in this time/place" vibes. but, also, my french is...a little rough. so i'm sure it's an annoying fic for french readers lmao

19. First fandom you wrote for? warriors cats, a million years ago hahahah

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? ok, i have three different answers for this. the fic i think is the best, objectively, in terms of writing and content: The Story of Dani [...] (r63 devil's minion from armand's pov, starting with lestat's house). the fic i am the proudest of, mostly because it was my first "big" fic (it's funny now, bc it's only 41k) and i feel like i grew a lot as a writer while working on it, and i'm still happy with it: The Face of God (les mis pov javert, character study from childhood). the fic i have the most fun with and think about almost 24/7: Arthur Pendragon, Long May She Reign (r63 merthur, canon divergence, this is like a 4-part series that's currently over 300k lmao)

no-pressure tagging: @aunteat @leslutdepointedulac @butchybats @graygiantess and anyone else who wants to!!

[mosviqu]

been going thru everyone's archives. also been going thru it emotionally. so many moots i don't talk to anymore also you changed a lot but also not at all did you know that?? and— and!! i can't believe i forgot about your prev username with hoodie!yennie icon and you were always chatting pagesss long with this one anon that i used to envy ahahahhaha wait wait psycho behaviour i know but im going thru my tag specifically when i was vera and you wrote here that i was your cutest mutual that you wish you were closer with WHO KNEWWW also i used to call you teddy what???? also we feuded over your hate for doughnuts at some point?? I WAS THERE FOR YOUR 1K CELEBRATION ON YYXGIN AHHHH so happy about that and also i remember sending you an anon review raving about lee felix's guide to hating you ahahah me as an anon waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike out all other anons 🫶🫶

vie you in my inbox feels so nostalgic like stfu why am i emotional over you being back on tumblr i missed your existence on my dash so fcking much oh my god. i dont really percieve myself enough to feel a change but id like to think i always grow 🌱 just like you do and i am so proud of you and everything you do. every time i see ur insta posts im like mhm go best friend! youre doing so well!! unfortunately i am bad at reaching out and talking to ppl recently so it feels like we havent talked in ages oml

PURPLE HOODIE YENNIE MY BELOVED !! my fox boy my precious baby </33 i still have the purple hoodie in the same shade i bought bc of him 😭😭😭 omg i think i know which anon you mean 💔💔💔 AHAHA YOU STILL ARE ONE OF MY CUTEST MUTUALS however i think u matured and grew up a lot. WHO KNEW WE'D GET CLOSE AND TALK FOR SO LONG AND LITERALLY HAVE U AS MY OLDEST MOOT AND WE'D HAVE A NETWORK TOGETHER FOR A WHILE wow.. fangirl bar of user veralicios could have never predicted this... i fought over donuts w genny too omg remember gen.. i miss her... 1k on yyxgin on a blog ill never come back to rip💔 WAIT U NEVER TOLD ME U SENT AN ANON I- sigh. Vie. we have so much history i am so nostalgic for 2021 tumblr

[catinasink]

wow... an intro post.. how original

most recent edit: 17.4.24

welcome to the sink i live in :]

general

who am i?

you can call me cat or nico. it/he/they pronouns please :3 alternatively, no pronouns works :3

some people call me neptune. please dont call me neptune without permission if you are not one of them.

i'm a minor, and i would prefer not to interact with people over the age of 18, thank you (there are a few exceptions, you know who you are)

transmasc agender (probably something fluid as well but i havent really thought much yet), polyam, aspec (cupiromantic + aroflux, aegosexual + aceflux, demiplatonic + aplflux)*, and pan

what do i post about?

i tend to make original posts often

i tend to reblog often

some random fandoms, once in a while

music :33 i like to lyricpost a lot

gayposting (i do this often)

sadposting/ventposting (sadly, also often)

family, pets, friends?

i have one older sister (she/her)

i have two cats (kim and shego (aka floorshitter))

irl friends who i mention sometimes:

pissboy (he/they, origin story. has his own tag)

lee (she/her)

preppy (she/her)

miss eighth grader (she/they, i gaypost about her sometimes)

ashes (she/her)

no eyebrows (she/her)

oona (she/her)

orange muffin (she/her)

spring (she/her)

zebra (he/him)

life tips guy (he/him)

girl i met at an event (she/her, has her own tag)

can you tag me in tag games and send me chain asks?

uh, i rarely participate in tag games and i'm no longer responding to chain asks

timezone?

PST (west coast best coast!!)

dni?

the usual ig (terfs, bigots, zionists, queerphobes, as well as nsft/nsfw blogs)

boundaries?

unless we're close/you have permission, please dont call me your friend. it makes me uncomfortable.

also, please dont dm me without permission.

also please dont use hearts.

what can you call me?

i love pet names :3

i would kinda prefer not really gendered terms, other than like boy in some contexts

*i tend to use both labels listed, because while i am cupiro + aegoace + demiapl, my romance plato an sex-repulsity tend to fluctuate

other info

tone tags would be nice if you think you're being too vague

INTP-T

scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, scorpio rising

i speak english and russian, learning german and hebrew (for reasons)

a couple sideblogs, @catinasink-writes, @nymph-of-the-sea, a vent one, and some more

i might ask you to re-explain a sentence sometimes, words just dont word in my head at times :(

it would be nice if you tell me before you leave lol my brain is kinda mean about that to me

currently matching descriptions with @shrimpysstuff!

currently matching banners with @homoashell!

please don't just. reblog my vent posts without adding anything or something, that's a little icky

somehow i got a family 😨😨

i swear. a lot.

tags

everything basically (excluding asks and reblogs, so just original posts ig): #cat's rambles

posts mentioning my cats: #cat's cat

writing (in general): #cat's writing

writing (/gen): #poetry maybe

my art: #cat's art

my asks: #cat's asks

schoolposting: #cat's schoolposting

lyricposting: #cat's lyricposting

my music that i wrote: #cat's lyrics

yearning: #nico catinasink is yearning

queued posts: #queue you

my friend @this-is-me-lolol: #basil my beloved <3

pissboy: #my lovely pissboy

my friend @o-kye: #tumblr user o-kye

girl i met: #pretty girl my beloved

my spouse :3 (@homoashell) :#starr my beloved

cali cult: #calicos

sink lore: #happenings of the sink

blender anon: #cat's blender anon

platonic love anon (@platonic-love-letter-anon): #💌 anon

dear anon (dreamscape nexus thing) (no longer used): #cat's dear anon

dreamscape nexus: #dreamscape nexus

have a wonderful day :]

[rains-pace]

and whys he green

[mikhi]

indirect kiss

[doctorwhos]

There’s someone talking about how an Amazon movie (rwrb) is antisemitic bc the actress playing a Jewish character isn’t Jewish. She’s the only character not being played by someone accurately. Thought you may want to know if you didn’t already, bc you two are kinda spreading the same messages about antisemitism in tv/movies, but no one is really paying attention to her posts.

hi anon! me and the person who you are talking about have actually had a conversation privately about this! and to be honest, not a lot of people were taking my posts about good omens seriously until i had a few friends who had much larger followings than me reblog it, which thus led to the spiral that was my blog for about a year. there is also a difference about our situations - i was trying to get to an issue that arose in the fandom, whilst she is trying to address a problem from the actual production of the movie. this is not me saying it is impossible!! the problem is most people do not see jewish individuals as an identity that needs proper representation, as to most people (im talking in a western, but specifically an american) see the jewish identity as one that falls under the white umbrella. they see jewish as white, so why should they fight for a jewish actress? people don't get upset if someone with german ancestry plays a character with polish ancestry - they're all still white european countries. obviously i completely support their message and goal, and i gave them some resources and advice i wish i had when i addressed antisemitism in good omens, but a lot of this is just a very vocal waiting game.

[orange-plum]

Can I ask about the aph england fanon thing?

TBH I've never seen a character in any fandom I've been in be so misrepresented than England in Hetalia. Canon England was crass, crude, perverted, smug, kind of an asshole for the sake of his own amusement, etc Overall his design is alright, but he's got huge eyebrows and is collectively a bit frumpy.

FANDOM ENGLAND was generally portrayed as a blushing crybaby twink. I hated 90% of fandom England. That's not my England IDK who that fragile tear-stricken man feebly clinging onto America was. To this day, fandom England haunts me. Horrible misrepresentation

[thecryptidenthusiast]

Day 1 - Sharp

Am I two days late posting this for @31daysofwayhaven​? Yes. Did it take me two days of rewriting to work up the courage to post this? Also yes

Pairing: Nathaniel Sewell x Abby Brún

Rating: Teen

Wordcount: ~2.8K

Warnings: Slight hair pulling?

Summary: Fangs have a habit of coming out at the worst of times.

         Abby and Nate were supposed to be researching for a case tonight. Something the Agency had passed along and semi-roped them into helping with. Unit Bravo wouldn’t be directly involved with it, but the supernatural the team was being sent in to handle was still unknown, and Nate was the best when it came to digging up information. Even when that search was more like trying to find a needle in a haystack in  a library the size of his. Still, he seemed eager to do it. And, well, Abby was at the warehouse for the night so she decided to stick around and help where she could.

        (Nate always told her she never gave herself enough credit. Told her that he found her help invaluable when it came to situations like this. She just figured she was better at sitting still then the rest of the group was.)       

        They’d started off strong. Within a few hours, they’d managed to narrow down their list of potential supernaturals to just a few dozen. A good feat as far as Abby was concerned, considering the amount of variation and overlap when it came to faes and fairies. Then she made the first mistake of the night by glancing over at him. Not uncommon, that was part of the fun of staying in the library together. He had a magnetic draw when it came to her attention, and she enjoyed seeing the content aura that always seemed to settle over him when they were here. Looking at him was nothing new.

        The problem came from the fact he caught her looking at him. He’d smiled at her then. A smile that bordered on more than friendly. The kind that had a hidden promise behind it and made his eyes look just a little bit darker. A look reserved solely for her.

        And she’d blushed. Mistake number two. Not one she could help, he made her blush all the damn time, but it was clear he was going to make it a personal challenge and goal to keep her as red as possible for the rest of the night. 

        Every time he stood to grab another book, he wound up sitting a little closer until eventually, the space between them became nonexistent. Which was not something she’d complain about that’s for sure, but it didn’t slip by her that every book he grabbed quickly ended up in their ‘not needed’ pile. The heat that radiated off of him made it all the more difficult to focus on her own book.

        It was easy for Nate to shift into his flirty, suave attitude. Sweet words with suggestive undertones that always managed to steal her of her ability to speak. He enjoyed being able to do that to her. But then there were nights like tonight, where it was nothing more than slowing working into her space and subtle touches that he seemed to enjoy more.

        To her own surprise, she managed to hold her resolve longer than she expected. Did her best to ignore the blatantly suggestive way he slid his fingers between the pages of the book on his lap. He brushed a rogue hair of hers behind her ear and, somehow, she managed to keep herself from shivering at the touch. Offered him a smile in thanks. Small stokes to the fire brewing between them. 

        It’s when he rests his hand on her thigh that the cracks in her willpower start forming. When the heat nearly reaches its limit.

        To anybody passing by the touch looks innocent enough. Probably a sweet gesture even. His hand is barely above her knee, tracing idly patterns with his thumb. His touch is hot, even through the denim of her jeans. It feels charged. Goosebumps raise on her arms as a shiver runs up her spine. 

        She risks another glance at him. His eyes are on the book in his lap, but the shadow of a smirk on his face tells her his attention is entirely elsewhere.

        The hand on her thigh squeezes. Her resolve shatters.

        “Nate.” Her voice is rough, from disuse or wanting she isn’t sure. He looks up at her and she surges forward, catching him in a kiss. It’s intense, excited. She pours every bit of feeling and emotion that she knows she’ll never be able to voice into the kiss, and he returns it in earnest. 

        She tries to shift closer to him, chasing a better angle. The book she’d long forgotten about her lap slips off and tumbles towards the ground. In a flash of movement her eyes can’t register Nate breaks from the kiss to catch it before it hits the floor. The sudden loss of his lips on hers leaves her head reeling. He tucks both of the books they’d had on the table with care before looking back over at her with a sheepish smile. 

        The entire display is dorky and so endearingly him that she can’t hold back her lovestruck grin. She moves to her knees, closes the distance to straddle herself on his lap. Watches his reaction to make sure he’s okay with the position. The way his eyes run up the length of her body is enough of an answer. “Feel better with the books safe?” She teases with a smile. 

        He returns the sentiment with a bright smile of his own. “Very much so. May I?” His hands are hovering at her hips. A part of her wants to tease that if she hadn’t wanted him to touch her she wouldn’t have climbed onto his lap. But the concern is touching and it makes her feel warm. Safe.

        “Of course.” 

        He grips her, fingers curling and pressing into her with just enough pressure to spur her on. She presses her lips to his, not as frenzied as before but just as needy. Every one of her senses is overwhelmed by him. From the earthy smell that made her feel home to the way his kisses tasted like his expensive teas.

        She grips the front of his leather jacket to pull him closer, swiping her tongue against his lower lip. 

        “Maybe this...should be taken elsewhere.” He mumbles into the kiss. Despite saying that she feels his hands trail up under her jackets to run along her sides. Not under enough layers to touch skin, but her thin shirt does nothing to dampen the heat of his touch that has her arching her back.

        She hums. Pulls back just enough to catch the breath he’d stolen, nipping at his lip just to enjoy the shiver she draws from him. “You started this.” She points out in the sweetest voice she can manage. She runs her hands down from his shoulders to rest against his chest, smiling when she feels his heart racing against her palm.

        “Well, I’ll admit your reaction wasn’t quite what I was expecting.” He tries to sound coy, she thinks. But his voice is hoarse and he sounds more than a little breathless. The realization hits every one of her nerves like a sudden static shock. She’d done this, managed to make somebody like him sound breathless. The thought makes her feel almost giddy, head fogging a bit.

        She leans forward and reaches around, working his hair free from its usual bun. With the new position, he doesn’t waste time mapping kisses along her neck, just above the collar of her shirt. Between that and the scrape of his stubble, she squirms, trying not to laugh as his grip tightens just enough to keep her in place. She flicks the hair tie away to be lost among the books, combing her other hand through his hair to fluff it out.

        “I would’ve liked to have kept that.” He says between kisses, nosing her collar aside to continue his trek across her collarbone now. She freezes, the haze of feeling his lips on her making his words slow to process. When she can think clearly enough to realize what he said, she can’t keep back her laughter.

        “Well my bad,” She says finally when she can speak again, trying hard to even her voice out. Her hand brushes through his hair again, slower this time as she lightly runs her nails against his head. She grips the hair at the roots and tugs lightly. Not enough to hurt -never enough to hurt- but enough to get him to relent his exploring and look at her. At this angle he has to tilt his head up to look her in the eyes, and that change in dynamic is enough to make her heart thrum in her chest. “Do you want me to get off your lap and go find it?”

        “Would you, dear heart?” His answer is light. A teasing glimmer in his eyes. He even loosens his grip on her sides as if to drive the point home. He knows as well as she does that she wouldn’t go anywhere, and probably couldn’t stand properly right now if she tried. Still, the teasing makes her roll her lips and scowl down at him.

        All that does is make his grin wider.

        (Cheeky bastard, She thinks with an amount of affection that makes her heart swell and skip a beat)

        She leans down and kisses him. Soft this time, deliberately slow to rival the heat between them. The grip she has on his hair keeps him from moving to deepen it further. She feels a rumble in his chest that she’s sure is a displeased grumble, which nearly makes her break into a grin again. He settles for grabbing her hips, dragging her against him until any space that had been between them was gone. 

        That move alone is nearly enough to break her resolve, but there’s a stubborn part of her not willing to give up just yet.

        She moves from his lips to press a kiss at the corner of his mouth. He moves to catch her mouth again, just to huff when he can’t turn his head.

        “Abby-“ He breathes, sounding exasperated now. That electric jolt is back, a sudden new thrill at the change. Excitement feeding into new confidence as she pushes at his seemingly endless levels of patience. Despite the newfound excitement though she reaches down with her free hand to brush against one of his still holding her hips.

        “This still alright?” She whispers in another kiss, this time against his cheek. A quiet check-in, a break in the tension.

        “It would be better if you’d let me kiss you,” He laughs softly, tangling their fingers, “But yes, I’m very much alright.” She grins and resumes her well memorized path, running kisses along his jaw before slowly trailing down his neck.

        “Where’s the fun in that?” She teases, nipping as she moves. “I’m seeing why you like to tease so much.” She’s not sure where she’s finding her words, how she’s managing to speak at all. Not when his free hand runs up her back, slips under her clothes. She sucks in a breath with a hiss. His touch feels almost searing against her skin. He presses into her lower back, bringing her flush against him

          Finally untangling her hand from her hair she grips onto his biceps instead, nails digging into his jacket. Tries to tether herself down, ground herself by holding onto him. She’s slipping, any ounce of control gone as her thoughts spin. His breath comes in short pants now. She can feel his frantic pulse under her lips. 

          She bites down where his neck meets his shoulder, leaving a mark that will be healed before she can see it. She does it again anyways, times it with her rocking her hips into his.

        The broken moan that comes from him is the best sound she’s ever heard. 

        She stops without warning, pulling away from his neck entirely. The displeased growl from him is enough to make her grin, the intensity in his eyes makes her toes curl. 

        It’s then she catches a glimpse of a fang. Long, sharp, and very much there. The sight makes her breath stutter, catching in her throat as she freezes.

        He looks...disheveled, and beyond attractive at that moment. Unfairly so. With his hair down and ruffled from her constant toying with it, irises blown wide until the black almost entirely swallows the warm brown that’s usually there. Cheeks flushed dark, lips parted with the tips of his fangs visible. It’s the sight of him that steals away any ability to think.

        (A therapist would probably have a field day with the level of excitement that hits her at her core at the sight, honestly.)

        And it isn’t until he clears his throat that she finally snaps back to reality. He’s let go of her entirely, hands awkwardly at his sides. And it’s that second she realizes she’d just been staring at him with wide eyes like an idiot.

        “I apologize.” He mumbles, running a hand through his hair in his tell-tale anxious movement, not even seeming to notice snagging on the knots she’d caused. He moves as if to put some space between them, but she’s the one leaning into him so there’s nowhere really to go between her and the back of the couch. He ducks his head away from her, hiding from her, and her heart cracks in her chest.

        “I like them!” She blurts out so suddenly it makes both of them jump. Heat creeps up her neck, the unfun kind that made her skin feel too tight. He glances at her with a raised brow. Definitely not what she meant to say but her thoughts are in a free fall. “I mean- oh my god that sounded weird. I meant you looked good-“

        (Nope. Nope. Definitely not any better. All I’m doing is digging a deeper hole.)

        She sighs, scooting away from him to give him the space he’d been looking for before dropping her eyes to her lap. Shame, anxiety, and embarrassment make it impossible to even try to look him in the eye. “You don’t...I wasn’t scared. I’m sorry.” The apology sounds rushed, lame even to her ears. Her stomach is in knots. She wants to apologize for staring and making him uncomfortable, and for her poor attempt at salvaging the situation somehow making it even more uncomfortable. But she can’t get her mind and her mouth to connect.

        She desperately wishes she was better at things like this.

        “Sorry. I’ll just go.” She climbs off his lap and moves to stand, ready to be anywhere but the library at this rate. 

        A hand on her wrist keeps her from leaving though. Not holding it, she could pull away if she wants, but the touch makes her stop to look at him. “Abby, why are you apologizing, exactly?” He looks as confused as he sounds, brows furrowed as he looks up at her.

        “For…” Being her, she wants to say. The words are right there, bitter and heavy on her tongue. But he looks worried, despite her being the problem, so she bites the words back. “For making things uncomfortable.”

        He smiles, a genuine one that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners as he stands. He moves his touch from her wrist to her hand, again twisting their fingers together. “You make me feel many things, but uncomfortable is never one of them. If anything I worried I had made you...uncomfortable.” He frowns a little, and she knows that’s not the word he wants to use. She reaches out with the hand not being held by his, trailing her fingers against his cheek. Her heart skips a little when he leans into the touch.

        “Nothing about you scares me, Nate.” She says each word with conviction, holding his gaze. He searches her face, seeming to search for something there, but she doesn’t waver. She runs her hand down, resting on the side of his neck. She feels his pulse jump as he smiles, his whole face seeming to light up.

        “I don’t think I could ever put into words how much that means for me to hear,” He takes a step and closes the distance between them, dropping her hand in favor of wrapping his arms around her waist. Looping her arms around his neck, she lets the warmth of his touch chase away any remaining anxiousness. The heat between them is calmer now, settling for something warm. Something safe and comfortable. 

        Reaching up to catch one particularly wild strand of his hair, she twirls it around her finger. “Sorry about your hair tie.” She grins, then winces a bit, “And sorry for pulling your hair.” 

        He laughs at that. “I’m sure that it will turn up. As for the hair pulling that was...unexpected.” He rolls his lips, a bit of heat returning to his eyes, “Certainly not an experience I would say was unpleasant. Or one that I would be against trying again.” He smiles at her, and she groans, burying her face in his neck to hide the blush she feels creeping up on her again.

[aes-sedai-with-guns]

Tried doodling Mat in somewhat Barney's image. not sure if I succeeded but content nonetheless!

[evakskam]

even my baby is really 23 years old today and im emo