#the world has surely changed since those days but im glad to know that some familiarity is kind to our new selves still

[joker-ace]

man i remember being such a huge fan of your art from 2016 when i started following you (mystic messenger and vld/klance days) and when i see you active it makes me happy and almost nostalgic…? sorry if that doesn’t make sense, but i wish you all the happiness and love in the world fergie <3

d'aww, thanks for saying so!! I know I only pop in here from time to time now, and post stuff more actively elsewhere, but tumblr will always have a certain niche in my heart for it, so I do get what you mean. I wish the same happiness and love back at you!

[beyondbinaries]

I'm posting this a bit early in case the 12th isn't a good mental health day. And I'm sorry if the random tag is annoying or if this post takes up too much space on dash.

On Oct 12 2016, I made a coincedental decision that has changed my life as a whole. A choice that has led me to so much pain but also so many happy memories and irreplcable friends. I made my pfp on Quotev a Genis Sage picture and somehow ended up involved in a Symphonia rp group 💕.

I had loved Genis as a character since I was a child watching my sister play at my Nanny's (my cousin would always delete her save before we even reached triet) and when we got a copy of the game when I was around 11/12 I had him on my team for the most part. It was my fascination with half elves and the mysterious Kharlan War Era that led to the creation of Mana, Oracle, Lee, 3rd, and Sunny. But those were all just childish writing in a notebook I hid from the world. Im sure lil me would die on the spot to hear that they are charas so many people know. I always knew that I loved to write but it was for charas like Sherlotta who were niche and not from a series as big as Tales so I never wrote Genis. Well until that day, I was too awkward to tell them I wasnt an rp blog and fully committed to it.

And look where that has led me. Here to you all. This journey may have been long and filled with things I'd never wish on anyone but I'm happy. So many of you have encouraged me and been there for me. I love and appreciate you all. Under the cut imma try to have things for a lot of you all word wise as gratitude. But thank you all so much, there are no amount of words or tangible sentences to express how much you all mean to me. And a happy birthday to my Genis interp who I wish i still wrote

@pyonpyonpyon ; Yuki youve been around since I started on here and damn time sure does fly. Thank you for always sticking around and plotting some of the most insane relations w/ me (Moe and Yuuri family) and dealing with tye silly kyubey meming I did back in 2017 (its been that long)

@mermaus ; sobs you know how much i lov and appreciate you but I will reiterate here... Lena you have stood by me for so much, have made my day so many times, etc. You are one of the most talented people on this website and in general? You are funny, kind, brave, strong, amazing. Im forever thankful to have met you and to be in your life. I am so eagerly awaiting the day we can meet and I can hug you irl.

@strebcr ; Pineapple !!! I am so so glad to have reconected with you! You are truly an amazing person and i am forever blessed to be considered your friend.

@in-sum ; Puyo !! Sobs I am so glad we were able to reconnect again, you are an amazing friend and you are always there for me. Youve stood in my corner when I was going through some of my worst times and I am forever grateful. You are talented and kindhearted and you stand up for what you believe is right.

@malusrecord / @constellationcrowned ; Kala!!!!!! It goes without saying how amazing of a writer and person you are. You bring so much life to your characters and it truly shows. I always find myself reading and rereading your posts when I am active on dash. You deserve all the good things in the world. And thank you so much for being my fren, I will always enjoy our dms and learning more about series i never thought I'd enjoy.

@ervaurem ; Shai!! I appreciate ypu so heckin much, you are such a kind and thoughtful person. I adore your presence on my dash and i adore the bonds between our characters. You've been there for me for such a long time now and I cant ever thank you enough..

@ofstarsandskies , @mathcs , @altosk , @cataclysmus , @talesofourworlds , and @broadswordandpistol ; a big catch all for all the wonderful people I met during festitales, despite how rough i am forever thankful for the oppurtunity I was given to force others into my point and click dm style of adventure. I have so much I cam say to each n every one of you 🥺

@solivcgant ; Mochi Mochi!! I am so sorry for the crimes Mana has committed against food and Eiji's mental health (eggbear eggs painge). I enjoy your presence and dog memes so much. You are so cool amd amazing aaa.

@twinklesofhope ; Ringo!! You are so talented and seeing you around makes me so happy.

@canidgrit / @nickitsden ; Fox!!! Hi we don't write together often but you are such a joy to see on my dash.

@biisutoarm ; Red!!! Hewwo hewwo, i love your Elfman so much he is such a treat and seeing him on dash always brightens my day. You are such a talented writer !

@osovereign ; Rinni! Hi hello, you are such an amazing and wonderful person. I have a lot of fun dming and writing with you. Its so nice to write with you again (I found a draft from like Jan 2017 on an old blog for you and i had to stop and stare at it lol--). I appreciate you so much and I hope to keep expanding Kratos' collection of poor Mana art.

@ednaeflowers ; Jenny!! Hi!! I know we aren't all that close or anything but you are such a delight to see on my dash. The Eizen and Edna thread we have is near and dear to my heart. I also really appreciate Mana and Edna's little friendship thing. I just really love your Edna interp 🥺, you are so talented and I appreciate you.

And to anyone else who read this far down, I love and appreciate you so much. Even if we don't speak or really write together. I genuinely believe each and every person I follow are talented individuals.

[thepepsislvt]

What if we had another Barto fic because were so starved for his content esp in writing if the reader was like a strawhat that luffy picked up in like skypiea maybe..like a shandorian with the little wings 👀.. just a thought..

I WIN yes i will write more of Barto bc i love him and im glad so many other people love him too!

this one seemed rushed and i apologize i wrote this before my second shift of work :(

Bartolomeo x Winged! Gn Reader

warnings: all fluff, some cursing, mention of doflamingo

you were born on Skypiea and thats all you’ve known

you were always so curious as a child but nobody would tell you what the rest of the world was like

So when you hit your teenage years you decide that one day you're going to leave the floating island

You had wings so you could easily fly away but you couldn't navigate the ocean by yourself

Most nights you would hope and pray that someday, someone would save you.

That's when a certain pirate with a straw hat came and fucked shit up on your island

At the age of 19, you knew this was your getaway, a savior you had spent all of these years praying for

After he won the battle he was fighting you came up to him and his crew as they were about to depart

“Strawhat! You must take me with you! I will prove myself worthy to join your crew-”

“Ok”

“-and I won't take no for an answer! Wait did you say okay? That fast?” you looked at the pirate captain with confusion and shock

All he did was smile and nod

So it was easier than you thought

It didn't take very long to get along with the rest of the crew members

You would give Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy rides through the air

Zoro taught you how to use a sword

Naomi taught you to pickpockets even though you probably won't use that skill

The Entire crew loved you

When Frankly and Brook joined the Straw hats you easily got along with them as well

When you got separated for two years on Sabaody you couldn't have been happier to see them

Your wings had fully grown and you could now use them to their full potential

You guys may have changed a lot physically over the past two years but nothing has changed between your friendship

During the events of Dressrosa, you decided to follow Luffy to the Colosseum to make sure he doesnt give away his identity and draw unwanted attention towards him

While you and Luffy were watching the fight, a certain green haired rooster head had caught your eye

he was hated by the crowd for being vulgar but thats what you liked about him

after his victory in Block B you knew you had to go and greet him

what you were not expecting was him to start crying and saying how much he wasn’t good enough to be in your presence

how can such a scary looking man with the title “Cannibal” fall to his knees over someone like you?

you were flattered by his kind (?) response and had to console him

he asked you to sign your wanted poster he kept

after the defeat of Doflamingo, you hung around Bartolomeo more, falling more and more for him and his wild personality

he had finally accepted that you were actually his friend and took his fanboying down a notch (he still has his moments though)

you had asked him out since you know damn well he wouldnt have the balls to ask you

when you did he just about died on the spot

but y’all had the best time on your date

Sanji and Nami had helped you dress nicely for the event

at the end of the night Barto and you were just star gazing as you told him all about each constellation

Barto knew he had to something he just didnt know how

“you see those six stars up there forming a ‘W’? they call that one the King of Pirates in honor of Gol Roger himself! isnt that cool?” you had explained while pointing to the sky

after you didnt get a response from him you looked over to see if he was alright only to be met with his face close to yours

“Barto? are you alright?” you whispered to him

He just stared into your eyes before kissing your cheek, leaving you flustered and your wings spread out in suprise

“was that okay? should i not have done it?” Bartolomeo started to panic and think of every possible negative outcome before you kissed his lips gently

“more than alright”

he Smiled and started giggling all giddy

“I GOT KISSED BY MY FAVORITE STRAWHAT!!” he yelled out into the sky

you only laughed and kissed him again

[awrkive]

hi dee! this is gonna be such a long message and i hope u read the entirety when you got time ♥️ english is not my first language so im sorry if this is not exactly cohesive.

ive been reading ffs since since 2017 and i really feel u came right out of the 2017-2020 era of bts x reader fanfic community bcs the way u write makes me reminisce about those times. idk if this is just me being picky, but i feel like fics nowadays are focusing too much on the smutty parts instead of actually building a world around their characters. and i dont usually mind smut or pwp fics, i enjoy them time to time. but the problem with it is that it's honestly all i ever see now, esp with jungkook fics.

it feels like no one really wants to write a proper fanfic anymore? some of my fave x reader authors before here are gukyi, vankoya, btsmeetsweevil, kpopfanfictrash, fortunexkookie, prolixitae and many more that i cant really name anymore – all of which have deactivated or inactive now – and one thing about them was that as much as they wrote smut, there was actually more to their stories.

and that is honestly what i feel about your writing. its so simple but so profound in a way? like its so easily digestible but the simplicity of it does not exactly equate to plainness? i feel like the trend of writing pwp is to gain more traction (which was also a trend back then, but not to the point of overpowering) but i love that you dont exactly succumb to that and instead take time to build the world of ur characters in such a way that makes me feel so connected to them.

i just LOVEE how u create these backstory for ur main leads. like with nb, we are witnessing two strangers getting along with each other slowly but surely, and with tlp, we are witnessing two best friends navigating a crucial point in their lives relating to romance between them. and the YEARNING, the LONGING, and just the TENSION that you make me feel with those? its just so incredibly insane. the giddiness of it all – you dont get that from fics who just go straight right into sex.

and i know its just fanfiction and its not supposed to be that deep, but tbh fanfic is just as much of a form of art as other "published books" – esp when theyre written so well like yours.

i apologize if this is coming off as a rant at this point. i think im just frustrated with the lack of creativity im seeing nowadays with bts fanfics all over tumblr thru ao3, and ig im just frustrated that i cant bring back the golden era of 2017-2019 (or 2020 if u will) anymore for fanfics. but thank you so much for reviving that feeling for me♥️ i also know youre busy with college and all that, and im really really greatful you lend time to share ur writing with us all for free ♥️ i really adore your talent!! i hope u write for a long time ♥️♥️

- 🌱

this has been sitting on my inbox for the past three days and ive honestly just been rereading and rereading this over and over again because im so incredibly touched?

i agree that 2017-2020 was the best era for x reader bts ff esp 2018. writers were really putting in the work, and i just love how you mentioned all those lovely people. miss guyi (gukyi), miss ivory (vankoya), and miss lu (prolixitae) were some of my favorite blogs here EVER and they wrote some of the best fanfics in my life that i still read over and over again up to this time. they were literally a few of my inspo to also write fanfic on my own – and im so glad u think that my writing can make u feel like the way u do when u read theirs, bcs that means a whole lot to me!!

the bts fanfic community has truly changed for the past few years. prob cos the fandom has grown bigger overtime and things will just never be the same as they were before. its a huge factor that the great ff writers before are busy with their adult lives now and even if i myself am not really that much into reading ffs anymore these days, i still believe we'll pick up being better on the oncoming years!!

and lastly ur english is great and thank you so Freaking MUCH for sending this in. i truly am so moved and touched by this message 🥹 i hope u are having a great day wherever u are 🌱 anon!!

[yahoodarling]

Gn Self Aware reader, no blatant 'yandere' themes developed yet. About 700 words.

Figured id post this, an unfinished set up of a fic i started and didnt finish. Reread it and im considering picking it back up since the concept is interesting.

Self aware reader determined not to change the events of Inazumas 'plot' finds themself in a little problem. Such problem being that this is a yandereAyato (and or Thoma) fic.

It's disgusting. It is discomfort incarnate to have such foresight into the fate of the world and yet be bound to its own laws of destiny, especially when what you were sure was to take place is altered. You no longer have any ground of understanding except the uncanny feeling that things are not as they should be, to be so similar and yet be so changed. You knew things will end up alright, as long as you do not interfere then Inazumas political warfare will reach a peaceful end and it did. You watched, noted those ‘special’ to the world, those who have a story, a life, a reason and you took the responsibility of not getting involved and it worked. You became an npc, avoided any confrontation with those deemed ‘special’, avoided any influence in the ‘plot’, watched as a hero came, a nation saved and a people newly united. It worked. Your foresight was correct yet… things changed. With no base to rely on, how were you to know what the ‘future’ must be, how were you to know what to avoid, who to avoid and what minor choice may change a future?

The hero has left, gone to Sumeru you guess, no, you know, you know the hero leaves for a new nation but so has your foresight and with that comes the change.

The one day gathering supplies, one day speaking to a fellow npc to fill some sort of social need, one day being in the ‘dark’ and you've caused a spark.

“Oh Aoi, good morning to you!”

He didn't speak to you, it was directed to the npc shopkeep you were chatting with and yet it grabbed your attention. Thoma is ‘special’, Thoma is relevant and so he must be avoided and you failed. 

Thoma spoke of how lovely the nights have been, of the soft whistles of sea, even to npcs Thoma was a gentleman starting conversation. He then turned to you with a smile,

"A good day to you as well! Im Thoma."

He commented on how ‘unique’ your eyes are, a depth to them hes never seen before. That comment frightened you, made you rush to leave, to stop the change. Quickly you felt a hand on your shoulder,

“Please excuse my rudeness but how about we have a stroll? I know its unfair of me to ask a stranger such a thing but… you remind me of a home away from home, if you would grant me such a pleasure that is.” he ended with a chuckle.

You have been so realistic up to this point, so good at avoiding ‘change’ but you have a heart and knew all too well that whatever feeling Thoma is experiencing is something important to him. You have a heart and so you accept. The main 'issue' of Inazuma is resolved, there is nothing else to truly be afraid of changing right? One time, only one time.

A single light hearted stroll became a weekly meet at the shop front, ‘coincidentally’, which became a personal relationship which became a friend. It's alright though, Thomas is a social guy, he's close with many npcs who never impacted the ‘plot’, you can be one such npc, that's fine. Change is fine. 

It's not fine. Meeting with Thoma you eventually met with other ‘special’ individuals you knew by name before they even knew of your existence. It's a weird feeling to know a person before getting to meet them, all the private details, their worries, their joys and yet forced to remain oblivious to it.

“A formal greeting from the Kamisato Clan, I am glad to see Thoma has a new friend. Do treat him well, sadly I must make short of this meet.” and the man who is most likely the most influential to whatever ‘plot’ is to come of Inazuma greeted. Kamisato Ayato was amongst your top ‘DO NOT ENGAGE’ list other than the archon herself and yet somehow naive bliss and a VERY convincing plea(almost suspiciously good) from Thoma to have lunch by the beaches near the residence of the Kamisato Clan lead you right into his ‘life’.

You have no ‘life’, you are meant to have no ‘life’, no value or effect and yet by each interaction with those deemed ‘special’ by the world your plans crumble.

["Your tears remind me of the rain, both comforting and disturbing. How i cringe at each drop yet yern to hear them patter against me. My dear please do remember for each storm or drizzle you bring to me i will open my arms for which ever embrace you bring."- shit i was going to add once i built up to it but seems i lost interest before i got to that.]

[kingwuko]

Hey im new to wuko i think it's cute but I'm Not sure about it like what does mako LOVE about wu ? genuinely asking it feels unbalanced to me

GASP NEW TO WUKO???

Welcome to the Wuko fandom my friend. I'm glad to hear you think it's cute and excited that you are interested!

I don't want to scare you away. But as you can see I'm a little unhinged about Wuko as a ship lol. I could talk about them all day. And I have. Better people than me have written meta on why Wuko works as a ship, but I'll do my best!

When you say 'unbalanced', I'm guessing you mean that it's pretty clear that Wu loves Mako, but you aren't sure about the other way around.

Since this isn't a canon ship, we have to make some assumptions based on canon. It's EASY to interpret the way Wu acts throughout the show and the comics are signs of romantic feelings. We have to look at Mako a little more closely.

For me, personally, the biggest thing that I believe Mako loves about Wu is his growth as a person. We see it in canon. Mako watches Wu become more selfless throughout the show. He acknowledges it in the finale. He makes comments about it in Ruins of the Empire.

I don't know about you, but I don't know ANYONE in the world who is perfect. But I know plenty of people who think they're perfect or close enough and don't believe they have to change and grow to be better. And I also know certain people who have grown TREMENDOUSLY during the time I've known them and changed for the better.

The people who see where they can grow and improve, then actually do it? The people who can admit when they're wrong and change? The people who can take criticism and acknowledge their faults, then actively work to be better? Those are people worth the risk of loving.

I think Mako loves a lot of things about Wu but he doesn't realize it, much like in season one when he first met Korra, he struggled to recognize when his feelings for her were emerging. But I think when Mako finally realizes there's something there for Wu, he's going to realize all the little things he loves, too. Yes, there's lots of big things to love and admire about Wu: his handling of the evacuation, his decision to give up absolute power to transition the Earth Kingdom into a democracy, then his decision to delay his abdication make a smoother transition of power...

But also consider: Wu genuinely dotes after Mako; wants to make him feel better when he's down; throws compliments around like it's nothing; he accepts Mako exactly as he his, messy history and all; he wins the hearts of Yin and Pabu; and despite his obnoxious comphet ladies man act, he manages to befriend Korra, a person Mako cares about and holds in the highest regard. Wu is fun and outgoing. He does things just because they feel good. He dances and sings. He befriends animals. He CARES.

Mako can definitely fall in love with someone who has all those traits. They got off to a rocky start, but so what? Mako and Korra got off to a rocky start too. He loved her anyways, but they didn't work together because they weren't compatible. Mako and Wu are, in a perfect opposites attract way.

Ironically, you mentioned it feels 'unbalanced' and I wrote a whole post about their personality types and how they balance each other out, here, if you're interested.

I hope I haven't scared you away with my rambling. I have been actively shipping these two for a looooong time. Pretty much since I first saw season four, which would have been around eight or nine years ago! And I've had this blog since 2019, so I've been active in the Wuko fandom for years.

[beanghostprincess]

I just read ur full reply about ur book and i am SAT! i feel called out by ur characters, i relate to them alot wtf esp w ophelia😳 im rly interested in stories with very complex protagonists, and i love how u mentioned that ophelias pov can be morally dubious too. I love it when an author acknowledges their protagonist is being a twat/ wrong and isnt afraid to direct those issues💕 also the way ayleen is gonna be characterized thru ophelias eyes… im a sucker for that writing trope aaaaaaa

Ngl ijbol when u said that it was first a sanuso cuz i cant totally unsee that(in a good way)dksjxksjs but im sure that u have already separated them from ur own characters

If its ever published, i hope to find it in my countrys bookstore jdjxjsjxj

AWWWW THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!

I'm so glad you relate to the characters in some ways. I also do because every character I write has at least 5% of my heart in them, and I'm glad other people can understand them <3

And yesss, both characters are pretty complex and morally gray and that's actually a pretty main topic in the book because they speak about morality and their views of humanity A LOT. They're yappers (mostly Ayleen, but Ophelia has interesting things to say too). I admit they're a bit messed up and I love that for them. Nobody's perfect and nobody has the purest heart, they're just human.

Ayleen is described through Ophelia's eyes because it's mostly Ophelia's POV and even when it's not, Ayleen's narration is... Not that reliable tbh. She couldn't even know how to describe herself and if she did she'd probably be extremely wrong. The whole point is that Ophelia reads Ayleen perfectly despite not understanding half of the things she says sometimes (enigmatic silly depressed girl x girl captivated by her trying to understand her).

Actually!!! This story wasn't a Sanuso fic. I mentioned the Sanuso thing saying that my first idea for my first book wasn't this one at all, but that one Sanuso fantasy fic I wrote instead. But since it's too complex for a first book, I'll probably leave it for the next one or for whenever I'm ready to write more complex world-building. I specified it because I mentioned weeks ago that I'd be writing a book about that Sanuso fic but ended up changing my mind FOR NOW. It'll happen eventually.

Although THIS story is inspired by another fic I wrote but never published. It was another fandom's fic but it's not worth mentioning since it'll never see the light of day unless it's in the form of this book. And it has nothing to do with the original fandom either tbh.

AND I HOPE I PUBLISH IT SOMEDAY THANKS WJNDKSNSKS 😭💖💖💖💖 THIS IS SO SWEET IT MAKES ME WANNA KEEP WRITING ILY

[definitelynotshouting]

WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WAS A WORM 😭😭😭😭 WHAT A THING TO WAKE UP TO!

-☀️

Oh my god thw wings being a physical manifestation of how Mumbo doesnt know Grian anymore. He is an entirely new person, definitely mentally, technically physically-- even if he looks the same. Mumbo honing in on the wings ("his wings ruffle...behind him" "it's a foreign motion...that escapes translation") that are the thing that's different and needs a "map" drawn of it, because it's the only thing that's actually different. Sure, Mumbo can tell grian doesnt even act the same anymore, but that's much harder to put a finger on. He didnt have those wings before.

^I like to think there's some form of uncanny valley effect that people who knew Grian before feel looking at him now, ignoring the wings.

-☀️

"Then he smiles, porcelain teeth flashing in the glistering sun.

The cold, open pit of his depthless eyes fails to catch it."

Really fucking love this description ough

-☀️

"“You’re not supposed to change me back!” Grian shrills, bristling."

IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR THIS TEM WTF (it is past 10am)

-☀️

"with the exquisite delicacy of a Player"

I SEE YOU YOURE NOT SNEAKY

-☀️

The wings again!! *is in distress* (side note i love seeing the world building youve been telling us about finally in the fic!!) Ok this actually makes the way Mumbo focused on the wings mean so much more. Wings are dangerous to code in, thats why Players use spotters. Grian vanished from Evo and showed up on Hermitcraft YEARS(?) later, without a word to anyone, and reappeared with those wings. Imagine going on a trail with a friend whose never hiked before and then they stop responding to your messages only to show up again after a couple of months like "Hey I just climbed Everest". You would most definitely be distressed to say the least. (although, question: how proficient was grian's coding?)

-☀️

Man this one-shot. Too many feels this early in the morning 😭 The way you've managed to capture that sense of unease around Grian. His actions are unpredictable- you dont know if he's going to laugh or get upset- really nicely encapsulates Mumbo's internal feeling that he doesn't know grian anymore. Those moments where he laughs or stares with those blank eyes, those are normal-- but linger a second too long, or catch a glimpse of the worlds that have passed since Evo started-- and he can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with Grian

-☀️

AAAAAAAAA HI SUN ANON!!! omg im so glad you enjoyed the oneshot!!! :D

Omg YES im so so glad what i was aiming for with the wings came through, thats exactly what i was going for!! This is the only physical indication that Grian has changed, and therefore the most distinct!!! Ofc Mumbo is gonna hone in on that-- its the clearest aspect he can see. And yeah, i think the first few times people saw him with the wings, it was definitely a little uncanny valley, until they got used to it

OKAY I'LL BE REAL THE EXQUISITE DELICACY BIT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL BUT IS A VERY HAPPY ACCIDENT ALDJWKDNEKNDKDE altho i did really enjoy messing with some wordplay in other areas. My particular favorite is the "inner machinations of a dropper" line-- it was such a fun way to refer to mechanical parts while simultaneously making it sound like the dropper is up to no good 😂😂😂😂😂😂

It was super nice to really put this aspect of the worldbuilding into the fic-- one of these days i'll probably rewrite chapters 1 and 2, and maybe do a little editing on 3, just so i can sorta bake those concepts in there with a little more deliberation than i did when i was first posting :] BUT YES altho its not so much dangerous (for a Player, at least) as it is difficult, and very finicky. Grian's coding is super proficient as a Player (he's still working on melding the instinctive coding of the Watchers with his Player brain tho), so he was always very capable of it, but like you pointed out, under normal circumstances he would have 100% asked someone to be his spotter while he coded them in, just in case he bugged out

And yep, we're talking a timespan of years here!!! This is a bit loose, so its subject to some minor changes, but my general timeline is that Grian, once Watcher-ified, was trapped with the Watchers for about 2-3 years before he made his escape. After that he bounced between hubs and servers for a few months, before ending up on Hermitcraft to stay. The fic itself takes place somewhere around early mid-season, i think-- since i headcanon each season to take place over a few years rather than a few months, i'd say this means Grian has been with Hermitcraft for, oh.... a little under a year now by the time this fic takes place, if that makes sense. Again these are not concrete but thats the general timeframe we're talking here. I'll probably make a separate post about this later, but in Player culture its not SUPER weird to go gallivanting on your own for a few years-- but the complete radio silence and abrupt exit from Evo are what make this notable from the norm to Mumbo and everyone else who knew Grian before

Im so deeply and genuinely happy that the sense of unease came across so well-- i was admittedly worried that the pacing was a bit fast for how Grian's reactions kept turning on a dime, but this reassures me that it works :] i wanted it to really feel like this is a familiar stranger we're looking at through Mumbo's eyes, and also i wanted to give Grian some room to display those uglier trauma symptoms that nobody talks about much in fiction. I like to think that first year back on Hermitcraft was a difficult one for him, mood-wise, because behind that rough facade his brain is about as scorched-earth as it fuckin gets

Sun anon i always ADORE your analysis thank you so so much for sending them 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it makes my day every time, truly. Im so glad you liked the fic!!! :D

[who1ssheesh]

Impossible

reborn doesn’t die. ive said this. 

squalo being so disgustingly cute for his s/o here. 

Warnings: lots of swearing; fem!reader; huge OOC; lowkey character is implied: reader is an educated and smart and probably artsy? (happened accidentally): 100% wrong grammar, english is not my native; no beta we die like tyl tsuna

Note: im not sure this is such and OOC since the whole premise is “squalo is uniquely soft only for you, and no one knows about that side of his”. first time at writing, dying from shame rn, will probably delete this soon. 

Impossible.

Squalo is impossible.

Such a foul-mothed, rude, loud and ill-mannered brute.

At first it seems as if he is trying his best to make you hate him. Squalo’s words usually cut deeper than his sword thrusts in inside of one’s body, but with you it feels like after that this sword also whirls in your already shaking body to hurt even more. Squalo notices your every small failure and is glad to stick your nose in those every time. He turns his head away on the days you look especially good and scoffs when you prove your intelligence.

But a fun fact you notice way too late: if Squalo hated you that much, then why the fuck has he always been around you?

Truth is simple: captain is good at everything but feeling feelings.

That is not the most important fact but the one that he is aware of it. Superbia is actually extremely self-aware.

And he knows he is hard and not going to change. Ever. You cannot run away from mafia, this is a pact made for life – and it doesn’t last long for many. He is indeed a violent brute and obviously fucked in the head at least a little bit – a bloodthirsty shark, excuse me for such an obvious comparison – and takes a huge pride in this. Because this is the reason Varia thrived when Xanxus wasn’t around, biggest people in mafia world fear him and, most importantly, he became best of the best. He is a fucking Emperor.

And not the least, Squalo hates lying. Maybe that is the reason he hated those cover-ups missions and Levi-a-Than with his brown nose. Squalo is who he is and he shows this right away in the worst way.

What I’m trying to say: if you cannot handle him at his worst, you do not deserve him at his best. And yeah, such a high-ranking person needs to be deserved.

And he hates that “some civilian bitch who grew up like a home plant”, while he made himself through blood and tears literally,   got him wrapped up so easily. Caught him like a fish, huh?

Squalo has never had a normal life and doesn’t understand that you do not have fight every rock like a caveman.

But just show him your teeth. Squalo is a big scary man always smelling like metal, with steel eyes widely opened looking for a pray. And you dare to go against him? God damn, you poor soul. And if you make fun of him smooth and smartass-ish enough that Squalo even has to think to realize you insulted him, GOD DAMN. You are unhinged.

He likes it.

No, he does not.

He loves it.

When you show that not only you can handle him at his worst, but even be equally fierce, Squalo does not turn away. He is asking for a date right away when this happens: you say ‘yes’ now or he is leaving and never coming back.

No, he does not give much of a choice. If captain wants, captain takes. And fights if he needed.

Fun facts: fancy dates with Squalo are the worst. Yes, he knows how to look sophisticated and elegant, but it is one thing to attend black-tie events with killers around and another to go to a ‘regular’ restaurant. Everyone will think he is a pig of a man, trust me. He can impress mafia with his character, but cannot be polite at least a little bit with a waitress to save his life.

And Squalo generally hates ‘fancy’ even as a word. So he will personally organize the best date for you but will be screwing your brain for the whole duration. But appreciate that he tried, you know.

Will tell you right away that he is involved into something shady.  Will explain all the ‘cool important sword varia guy’ thing later on because showing all of his cards right away is vitally dangerous for you. Especially it could be if you rejected him. Oof.

NO Varia.

No.

No.

N. o.

Squalo obviously appreciates your opinion (in his dumb ways) and knows you are an adult doing whatever you want, but he is a stone wall in discussing mafia.

It’s a no. End of discussion. You do not know what mafia is. Squalo does. He does know that death is always the first thing to consider and sitting on a keg of gun powder when literally anyone can come in with a weapon is hell of a life.

He will not ever tell you but he does not want to taint you with this. Squalo is not foul-mothed, rude, loud and ill-mannered bloodthirsty douche because he has been born like that, he was made into this to adapt. And one of you has to live, you know. And Superbia will be ready to die for his partner. He also will never tell you this.

To be honest, thinks you would survive in mafia with your witty brain. Of course you will, you are his significant other.

Squalo will be away for a long time. Months.

Fun thing: you can’t call him at all. Maybe can send him messages, I think, but only he can call you. There is actually reasoning for this. Squalo is a fucking genius and is capable to cover your existence from Varia even if (when, hehe) you marry, and that is exactly what he is doing.

He does not want to ruin his badass image in eyes of subordinates with a sweet, witty, beautiful and so perfect you. Even if he wants to tell everyone bragging about their hot chicks that the best woman has already been taken. Squalo has her and it is too obvious that she has him too.

I have a dumb headcanon: for some reason people used to think Squalo is a tech clown  still using a flip phone BUT HEAR ME OUT?? He has a humor of a god and likes to mess with Varia so he uses a flip phone for work to piss everyone and secretly has a personal newest shiniest iPhone hidden somewhere. And there is your photo on a home screen. But not on a lock screen. He does not want you to find out.

Squalo slowly learning to be ‘regular’ at home with you is a comedy gold. If you find out that he calls your cat your shared child, is actually a fucking MAMA enjoying house cleaning and binging ikea to make your apartment ‘homy’, Superbia will react worse that someone trying to assassinate him.

He does love your cozy house indeed. Probably, to be honest, he is going to live in your apartment at first…because he did not have any before you. There used to be only Varia.

He likes that he leaves his small things there. They are so small to notice but strangers will notice that someone else is in this house. And this someone is Squalo. Go away.

Squalo does not care about meeting your parents because he does not care. Will not hide from this, but you will probably be kicked out from your family because he will be his usual disgusting self lol.

No jokes now: dating someone like him can be problematic for a family, especially considering his career, so if anything happens, Squalo gotcha. Because he has pride and dignity and is overall better then ‘those shitheads’.

Will buy you the best house in the world, you just say. But! He will has a training room and a garage of sorts to mess with his swords. I mean, there are a lot of mechanics going on with his prosthetic arm and a sword, he obviously knows how to repair them or sum?

Squalo will spoil you when he is back from ‘work trips’. You can forget even about cooking, your bae is here to help. He will repair ANYTHING and to it really good. Any document and papers problem is not a problem but you better do the talking because Squalo  will try to strangle someone in 30 seconds. Your man will enjoy domestic life even more in TYL! and later in life because he will get burnt out at work.  

100% you both will have a close civilian friend group. Rare moments where Squalo can be just a person and do bullshit ha-ha stuff like ‘being drunk and throwing a chair out of a window with the bois’. Those meetings are when you notice that Squalo has a good sense of humor and actually is chatty and your friends like him. Not something he can afford in mafia.

Hey, he is actually so touchy when drunk.

If Squalo does a shit tone of stuff for you and you do nothing in return, he will point this out.

He does not ask for much In fact. He is used being an independent loner to the point it was insulting in the beginning of your relationship.

Surprise him with a dinner, help him get ready to leave for months again, just hug him sometimes out of the blue, and he is whipped.

Squalo enjoys a good debate. An it’s funny in a way that he is educated life-wise but such a dummy in academic stuff and you can mess with it. Even if you are a medic, an engineer, he is going to study this just to kick your ass. Bitch. (Just wants to share your interest with you. And also kick your ass)

Actually, falls in love deeper when sees your passion and intelligence. The way you study all the time. Or you know several languages. Or you are such a professional in your field.

I honestly think Squalo would have some special click with someone artistic. He is so loud and hyperactive and being with someone phlegmatic and elegant with their non-standard lifestyle is something else. Squalo does not understand art. Almost. The way he can control the edge of the sharpest sword and be quieter than the silence is an art for him. People think he is a weirdo – c’mon he is using a sword in a gun era – and you both can share being weirdos in your own ways.

Imagine being an architect. (that’s not because im too i swear). Precise numbers connecting with your artistic burst? It just sounds so��.Squalo Superbia.

Imagine you start taking interest in swordsmanship.

IMAGINE WANTING TO BECOME A WEAPON DESIGNER.

He will carry you in his arms. Only to train you lmao.

‘Babe, it is time for your sword practice again’ ‘Ok, honey’

Imagine you two being together for so long that you design him the best sword you are capable of. You fucking magnum opus – just like relationship with Superbia is.

You actually can draw him a shitty meme shark and a stickman and he will keep it. He will laugh his ass off really loud but does not matter. He obviously will not keep it with him. But you will notice that he hides those in his books or sum.

If you do something of shitty quality, Squalo will oh so much be proud if you keep getting better at this. But he will still say the work of a shitty quality. He is lethally dangerous for someone emotionally vulnerable, but we understood this at the beginning of this post.

I mean, really do not take that to heart. Squalo could say you have your hands growing from your ass now and say you are impressive in a day if you still keep doing whatcha doing.

Later in relationship, sometimes Squalo slips at small things that tell you he thinks about you a lot. He once said “when we marry” instead of “if we marry”. He says “a favourite boy name” instead of a “favourite name”.

He knows it should not happen. Even Squalo has his insecurities because his standards are so high. A spouse and a child not seeing a father for half a year and have a possibility to get killed any moment? No.

But you stay. Knowing his worst side, how unusual and hard being with him is, but you are here.

Impossible.

Squalo is impossible.

Such a foul-mothed, rude, loud and ill-mannered brute.

But yours.

[dog-park-dissidents]

you lot have been such an inspiration to me and my found family, knowing that a group of queer trans folk have united to become something so fucking gnarly??? sick as hell

this is a ramble of appreciation you can leave it in the inbox or post it, whatever your heart desires gang, but like. i live in florida, shit is scary here, always has been and will be until change finally comes. im trying to be a driving force, i’ve organized petitions and protests as young as 14. turning 16 soon and i’ve been listening since i was 13, aging with your music has really been a huge help in developing my identity. it’s all really fucking scary but hearing you guys and your raw rage and euphoria and grief has helped me remember i’m not alone. most of the trans folk i know here are vaguely transmed and a bit harsh on those of us that don’t fit in one specific box. it’s hard to make friends, even being in a pretty progressive school, being the way i am. luckily i’ve found my people and slowly but surely im putting them onto yalls music and they’re all just as moved as i’ve been

seeing queer adults, queer adults who aren’t afraid, queer adults who never conformed, queer adults that are punk and badass and so brave and all the things has reminded me i don’t have to be another statistic, i can do something.

so im working to revive our schools GSA, i got in touch with the former president and vice president to take on their roles again and im gonna be secretary and we’re making our spaces safe again. our sponsor is a lesbian it’s gonna be rad as hell. im planning more protests and i’m calling on local drag performers to meet us and help us. this isn’t really relevant to y’all but it’s been a secret a while and i needed to put it somewhere it would be seen and maybe appreciated

i’ve gotten stuck in ruts where i thought socially detransitioning would be better, where i thought that it would be easier and safer and more peaceful, but then i put on the queerpunk playlist, queer as in fuck you comes back on, and i remember who im doing all this for. for me, for all my trans siblings, for all the queers in the world. hidinf myself would be a massive disservice to the world and community, and it would hurt me more than it would help. so thank you for being that reminder.

i don’t know y’all personally and y’all don’t know me and it’s most likely gonna stay that way, but you guys have helped me so much and i hope one day i can return the favor. i don’t think im alone in how much you guys have done for me, i know so many people that have been deeply influenced and moved by you, so keep making badass music and kicking it

TL;DR : COME TO FLORIDA!! i’d lose my shit to see y’all live!!!

peace and love gang!! best of wishes :) thanks again

Thanks so much for saying all this. We love rambling appreciation, and we're so glad we've inspired you to do some super rad shit We have something in the works for Florida. Devastated to have to report that Ron DeSantis has made it very, very hard for us to book an All Ages show in the state of Florida. Our first appearance in Florida is likely going to have to be 18+ but we're looking into alternatives.

If you can make it to Atlanta, we're in talks for an All Ages booking there.

[sweetestofchaos]

Wow that's such a wide variety of fandoms. Also it's so funny that we have in common both an interest in poetry and writing love letters for friends XD

Continuing the questions about your work, I want to know which of your GOT7 works you consider the following and why: 1) Your best work, 2) Your most introspective, deep or meaningful work, 3) The one you're most attached to, 4) The one you struggled with the most and 5) The one you aren't happy with but are still glad you wrote it.

(Feel free to add non-GOT7 fics too but since I am your AA, I have to ask for those.)

I think introspection is one of the most important parts of writing, and I hope that this can be an opportunity for you to look back at your work and see how much you've grown!

Wishing you a great day and best of luck for whatever's coming your way.

-Your AA <3

Oof...yeah my taste is wild and changes all the time. You like writing love letters for friend too, huh? I don't think I could do it now if someone where to ask but back in the day, I could've made money 😂 I just want to thank you for asking these questions. I am having so much fun with them and just sitting here thinking of my answers makes my day go by faster. I wrote about Got7 and non-Got7 since some of them I couldn't answer with just Got7.

Looking at everything that I wrote up until now just makes me smile. I have so many different styles, highs and lows...it's crazy. I always enjoy looking back to what got me started! Best Work?

I think for me the best Got7 piece that I wrote would be Got7's reaction to your natural hair. I wrote that during my transition from treated to natural hair, so it was fun to write. I tend to write a lot based off my life or those around me. I think it's my best work because it felt realistic in terms of how I thought they would handle the situation. It wasn't a rushed piece and I often go back to it, just to read for fun.

A part from Got7, Stupid Love is something I would consider to be one of my best works. It was my first time diving into a new trope (unrequited love) and I just felt that IM from Monsta X fit the role really well. It was nice to challenge myself and I am more than pleased with how that story turned out.

2. Most introspective/deep/meaning?

I would say my Youngjae fic Cry Baby, to me is the one that is the most meaningful. I suffer from bipolar depression and it was a bad day for me. I wrote it to help get my feelings out and so far I think it's the only Got7 fic that holds such a feeling.

Outside of Got7, I wrote a piece for Mingi of Ateez called Consideration which is heavily based on my life. I think people in relationships of any kind tend to forget that the other person has their own wants/needs. You get comfortable with people and lines blur or just get forgotten. You start to take things for granted and Consideration is there to bring light to those feelings and moments.

I really wish I wrote more deeper fic but I just haven't done it yet. It's on my list for 2023 lol

3. Most attached to?

I'm really attached to my Mark fic Piggy Back. It was an idea that just came to me and I didn't struggle with it at all. Everything was finished in one go and I'm pretty proud of that piece. It's one of my earlier works, so I'm sure it could use some touching up but it's just really soft and sweet.

Another one I'm extremally attached to is Closure. It's a quick one-shot that has Bang Chan of Stray Kids. It's another fic that mirrors a low point in my life and it means the world to me. It was healing for me to write and hold a nice piece of my heart.

4. One I struggled with the most?

By far I Won't Let You Fall with Yugyeom has been the fic that I've struggled with the most to write. It was a request for enemies to lovers and I wanted to bang my head against the wall. E2L is not a trope that I like very much, I tend to ignore it a lot. So when it was requested, I took the challenge and it did not disappoint. I'm pretty sure I wrote that request three times before I finally got something that I liked enough to post.

I am currently working on a Min Yoongi soulmate fic (Blackthorn) that is kicking my butt. I have so many ideas for it but it hard to get it all down on paper/screen. There are so many plot holes right now because I always get ideas in parts and never a full picture. So I am struggling to fill in those holes and makes sure point a and b match up before I can even think about point c and d. It's also a royal fantasy au, so I'm trying to world build a lot more which I'm not the best at.

5. One I'm not happy with but glad I wrote?

It is very rare that I post something that I'm not happy with. My Got7 pieces, are works that I love with my whole heart. So, I don't have a Got7 piece that I'm not happy with. I like most of everything that I post, I take my time with it all which is why I like everything.

If anything I would have to say, my Shownu fic Rainstorm is the fic that I like the least. Only because when I read over it, I feel that it's just a lot of word jumble that doesn't need to be there. It doesn't really give anything for the reader to hold onto and think about. Plus it was a piece I wrote back when I was first getting into Monsta X so I don't think I put a lot of thought into it.

Thank you again, AA

Chaos

[kpophubb]

Good morning sunshine🧡💛💛💛

How did you sleep?

2:26 📨

Utube dilemma 👹

Lifestyle insp

Memories 🔐

Me if I were

US 🎵

lixie is sending u new pics ~~ 🫧 ; for good mood uuuu 🤘🏻🫵🏻💋 ;

volunteers to take care of you when I'm gone;;; I wanted to attach my piccc but I'm not pretty😭 I know you will argue, because of your angelic nature,

Wishing you as always I lovely day can a way to hear from you ~,hope to talk to you soon ❤️Wait for me❤️

* 🐁 🌙 * hope all the links are workin 🙈

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡..hi my darling!! First to tell you that all the links are working🥺 and I viewed everything and I’m so 💖💖 the felix smiling pics, voice message on bubbles, gyu kisses and gyu volunteer 🥹 how on earth are you soooo cute?? You always know how to make me smile <3

♡..I know many people find felix’s voice super sexy ( and I do too sometimes) but most times, it’s just so soothing and relaxing for me tbh. He’s my comfort person. I see him more as my ball of sunshine and my sweet dose of serotonin so hearing his voice always calms me down and relaxes me. Especially the good night messages and words of consolation. 🥺🤍

♡.. I liked our playlist, my love. I’ll be hearing all the songs soon (even tho some of them I already heard). I am so in love with the emojis you added as titles aww.

♡…my week has been so so¿ I mean at the beginning it was super fun bc I felt so active and healthy, my best friend came over at my place and we spent the whole day together 😍 and then the day after, it was my niece’s 6 months. So we had a home party w some guests and I dressed up and had a lot of fun with her! But then..I fell super sick and now my health and mood is all SO BAD I have been snapping at everything bc I feel like crap 💔

♡..your memories board is so cute..😭🤍 it’s melting my heart. I am so flattered and ngl my eyes feel watery at the amount of love you’re showing me. It feels so heart warming to see you have captured every detail of our conversation and I’m just🥹🥹 and Awwh! Yes 100% I’m real. If you ever wanna see me or hear my voice to confirm, let me know okay?? I don’t mind declaring to you confidently that you’re super precious to me and I’m and will always be here.

♡…I also take inspiration from YouTube videos..tiktok videos and mostly Pinterest! They all inspire me and motivate me for my dream self lol. I have 2 acc on Pinterest , one for kpop+ anime & the other one is my personal acc. It’s here if you’re interested to know more about me personally haha.

♡…I’m very happy to be here for you. I feel so glad I can make you feel safe and accepted cause that’s all I ever wanted to make you feel. 💛 I’m still glad I could be there during your bad times those months, and I could see you getting up. I can’t wait to be here for you through the rest of your growth.

♡..and oh my god anonie!! That’s scam!! Pls go reclaim your money baby. I can understand your feelings lmao, I’m always changing my looks or style bc it feels renewing kinda?! I’m sure you’d look great with perm! <3 I’d love for you to show me too. I’m someone who speaks up if someone infront of me is wronged but weirdly enough..when I’m wronged, I stay quiet? Idk I just let it go when it comes to me. But I’m so glad you have ambitions to portray Justice and stand up for people.

♡….it’s okay if every year you take resolutions or plan something and can’t make it sweetie. It happens. I’ve been trying to be where I am since 2020, but finally at the end of 2022 I achieved my goals. Life has its own pace. I’m sure you can be the boss lady you want. 🫶🏻 and pls don’t feel like you haven’t done enough in life or life is passing away without you having done anything remarkable. Im sure even if your past has been filled w traumas and bad memories and no real progress, in the future great opportunities and memories await you. I believe it, truly. 💗 people are truly truly bad and the world is so warped and cruel I agree, 100% and life isn’t sunshine and roses. But at the end, we just have to see the good in every situation (even tho there’s not always good everywhere) and find joy in the small things no matter how trivial and hard it might seem. Baby steps to get there, remember love? I pray you’re always surrounded by nice people from now on who truly make you believe in the magic that you are. 💙

♡… noo, your thoughts aren’t a mess. I love hearing your mind, it’s fascinating how you have a lot of thoughts about things around you. It’s admirable. It never creeps me out or bothers me, so please rest assured and keep telling me everything you feel like. I’d love to be your human diary! <3

♡…no you aren’t childish!! Using emojis are cute and I feel like they help you understand your emotions better behind the message and words. Or else it’d be easy to misinterpret your words. Like if you say “it’s okay” after someone apologises to you it might seem like they’re still mad at you and upset but if you say “it’s okay☺️💗” the other person might be relieved and believe that you guys are truly on good terms now.

♡..and no I don’t mind you being older !! Omg pls don’t feel uncomfortable and think I’ll ever shut you out. Age is just a number, love. And just bc you’re older doesn’t mean you have to feel pressurised to take care of me or anyone younger than you or be more reserved and act mature. To hell with all those stupid rules and obligations made by society. Who cares? Just be you. I love taking care of people, no matter if they’re older than me. I’ll accept you just the way you are so you don’t have to filter yourself for me. I know it’s easier to open up if you’re keeping some things about you to yourself and being anonymous cause you can’t be judged at all, so you can keep doing that. No pressure hun. Take as much time as you need. I’m not running away and never will.

♡… there was a time I believed in astrology but growing up, I stopped? I don’t know it feels very unreal to me. Do humans really have the ability to deduce the events of the future? Idk I’m quite skeptical. But it’s cool to check horoscopes and be interested in it. The quotes are by ours truly, felix. So here’s one for today. 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘ ♡♡♡

[blurred-pride]

Im glad the trips went well :D

:0 tag us if you post the Dino

Those sound like great ideas for gender system(s) I think some rly cool things could come from that >:D

Yeah same I’m slowly began fronting the most and-

>:) now I rly wanna make the coining blog

Have any name/url ideas?

It probably could be super “fancy” yk how made are like sunflower themed or lovecore etc I don’t think we could keep up with fancy tags and keeping the blog looking fancy but we could maybe keep up a space theme

Oh yea- gotta take care of the body /Silly/Cj (cope joke)

We’ll go enjoy that tea and time with partners (I need more info on the dnd story line lmao what’s going on, how did he get to the bar, why does he need to conceal his identity?!/Silly/Nf)

Dino post is coming up in a moment, I need to do the dishes real quick and take a picture of him!!! (And make an image description for said picture so that may take a small bit because I am Bad at those- /lh) Thank you!!

I don't front the most but I have a tendency to get stuck in front quite a bit when I do front, and I have to readjust to needing actual things like food instead of just needing that as more of a "this is a thing I do not because I need to because I'm a metaphysical human thing/snake but because it feels more normal and 'human-ish' to do so than to go without". (/source and headspace) I also end up having to remember I can't just shapeshift, and so I end up changing shape in the innerworld and then having phantom limbs or sensations in the outerword. I think our most frequent fronters at the moment are Remus (he/they/it/any neos), and Virgil (he/they/it/scary neos), but I don't know for sure because I don't really manage that part of keeping track of the system. /tangent

Make the blog!!! It'd be great!!! (/nf) I don't remember if our blog has a theme other than "queer mogai"? And then space because space is a long term hyperfixation of ours, and bat-cat from CRK because someone decided they liked him and used him for a barcode icon thing. /lh

Some name/URL ideas: Spacequeers, Coining-in-Space, and heyyyycoining !!

I will!!! And of course!! So basically our character is a bright blue and pink tiefling named Aribis, he uses he/him pronouns, and occasionally they/them alongside he/him, and he grew up in a temple so he's been really sheltered from everything as a kid, and never really got that whole socializing with people thing down as a kid, it was just a bunch of stuffy adults so he didn't really get the chance. One day he was out in town, just doing some stuff, when a deer lady named Mylico (pronounced my-lih-ko) came up and asked if he wanted to go on a quest. Aribis said yes, and he joined the party to find an ancient lost city. One of the first few days he threatened another player character named Ace (he/him), and Ace threatened him back until they made a truce. Eventually, the party split up, and he and Ace got paired together to go down a different path and explore. The two met an evil old lady, who fed Aribis a poison cookie that knocked him out for a while. Ace defeated the old lady and carried Aribis back to the rest of the party. Aribis remained passed out for a while, if I remember right someone healed him?? And then Aribis was awake for about all of thirty minutes, since the cookie had more effects and knocked him out again. Dude kinda went into a coma for four days (We had left town and couldn't play, so they just knocked him out again with our permission.) , and during that coma the party found the lost city, and Ace is carrying Aribis the entire time, except the city wasn't actually lost. In the world this is in, elves aren't liked or trusted at all, and tieflings are very much the rich and extremely upper class. Aribis is not trusted in this city at all, and it would go into lockdown if everyone knew he was a tiefling. So, the rest of the party raided a scarecrow and stole its clothing, which included fancy boots (Aribis had boots, but they replaced them anyways for some reason??), a flannel, and a comically large hat. Ace provided some gardening gloves and boom! Disguise for a passed-out Aribis!! The party then plans to stage a revolution to help make everyone realize that elves are not horrible, and to take down the tiefling government. (Aribis is chill with this btw, he does not like most tieflings because they tend to be snobby and rude from wealth and such.) The party plans said revolution at an EXTREMELY fancy restaurant, and brings Aribis along for some reason. They order him a fruit salad, and kinda just slump him over into a chair, still disguised as a gardener-cowboy. (I joked that he faceplanted into the salad and nobody noticed) Other things that happened while he was passed out, in no particular order: the party caught an owl for the goddess of winter and gave her proposal advice to help her propose to her girlfriend (Ironic because our last DND character, Finley (they/them), attempted to catch a blood hawk in a backpack and failed, thus exposing that their backpack wasn't sentient, but instead had a very small octopus shaped god in it, and Aribis missed the opportunity to catch a bird.), had Christmas and new years (days are different in this world), Ace and another character, Hermes (he/him), made a bet with a god, Ace gambled against said god, and now Hermes has this god who owes him unlimited favors forever, and some other things I don't remember. The session that we had today included Aribis waking up after four days, still dressed up, and getting a run-down of all that happened, another threatening match between Ace and Aribis (Aribis threatened to both bite and cry at him), and bonding time over laser tag. Aribis also at some point acquired a pet rat named Pi-Rat in the woods. I probably forgot a lot of stuff since I am not the one who played the last few sessions, but that's all I know right now. :)

-Janus (he/she, masc/neutral terms)

[somnambulants]

i love your writing!! could you maybe do something with exes to lovers with nat?

word count: 3.9K notes: thanks for the request! i’m glad you like my writing! i also may...have started thinking about writing a second part because im super attached to this fic. let me know if thats something you guys would be interested in!

“Barton, you’re such a –“

Your world stops turning at the sound of that voice, everything else becoming static. It doesn’t matter that you’re standing in a room full of people that you’re supposed to be impressing.

It’s been over ten years since you’d last heard that voice.

Vaguely, you know that Captain America is speaking to you but the only thing you can pay attention to is her.

You turn slowly, and the second you lay eyes on her you know for sure.

It’s definitely her.

You see it the second she spots you too.

In all the time you’d known her, she’d always been so much more proficient at hiding things than you but you still see the way her eyes widen as she takes you in and the way her face shifts into something that resembles shock before she manages to mask it.

“Nat!”

You startle a little, having now somehow completely forgotten that Captain America was next to you and that you were in the middle of a tour of your new workplace the second you’d landed eyes on her.

Oh god.Your new workplace.

Your new workplace that was also clearly her workplace.

As she approaches, you futilely look for every possible way you can escape. “This is Y/N. Fury’s informant while Agent Emery is on reconnaissance. Y/N this is Natasha Romanoff.”

Natasha? Romanoff? Absurdly, you have the sudden urge to laugh.

She really couldn’t have come up with a better name after fleeing the country all those years ago? It’s a surprise to you that you hadn’t heard about her sooner with that alias.

Pushing that thought away and hoping that your face shows the professionalism you’re trying to convey, you straighten your spine and clear your throat. “Nice to meet you.”

Captain America’s eyes flick between the both of you. Maybe you’re not doing as good a job as you’d thought.

Natalia-Natasha takes the hand you extend to her and shakes it. “Likewise,” she says, and you hate the way your body still reacts to her voice all these years later; hate the way her touch still makes you feel.

Even more so, you hate that you don’t know what it is you’re feeling more of as you look into her eyes: fury or heartbreak.

She makes a flimsy –well flimsy to you – excuse and leaves the conversation after that. You watch her walk away, clenching the hand she’d touched into a fist as you resist the urge to put it through the wall next to you.

Somehow you think you’d have a hard time explaining it to the man still standing next to you, who is now watching you with a thoughtfully puzzled but not suspicious expression.

Not yet, anyway.

--

Your dreams that night are fitful and full of her. The first time you’d met, you’d been nothing more than children.

There are no children in red room though. Only fighters and a fighter, she definitely was.

You? Not so much. You’d never been designed to last more than a day in that place and you wouldn’t have, if not for her.

Natalia throws you back against the mat, again and then again and again. Each time you stand up with more difficulty until eventually, she throws you down so hard your vision blurs for a second.

You never had a chance against her, something you knew before you even stepped foot into the room and you know they must have known that too when they set you up against the most experienced fighter here.

It’s abundantly clear you’ve been set up to fail.

The next time she hits you, your legs give out beneath you and you can’t bring yourself to get up this time, even though you know what’s going to happen to you if you don’t.

You know how this works.

Bracing yourself for impact, you close your eyes and wait. It’s pathetic. You know.

The final blow never comes. When you finally crack open an eye, you find Natalia, arms crossed, just gazing down at you.

It might have been your imagination but her eyes don’t seem quite as hard as they had been before.

She extends a hand after a second of her just watching you and you watching her. A little part of you is convinced it’s a trick; that the second you take her hand, you’re going to fail whatever test this is.

Still, against your better judgement you take her hand and, rather than the macabre images playing out in your mind, instead she actually helps you stand, surprisingly gentle as she does so.

She gives you a second to reorient yourself and then her whole demeanour changes, turning cold and stiff as she crouches down back into a fighting position.

“Try again.”

Just as abruptly, you’re thrown into another and another. Quick flashes of the past that still haunt you.

Natalia taking you on your first mission.

Natalia holding your hand as you cried over the body of the first man you’d killed.

Natalia lying beside you on your mattress, running her hands through your hair gently when your nightmares became so bad you’d go days without sleeping.

Years and years of training. Years of bruises and broken bones. Mission after mission. Somehow, it’s all maybe not-quite worth it but it almost is – almost – because of her.

When you kiss her for the first time, you think that might be the first time either of you has had any control over what you do with your bodies. 

You can't remember a time where you'd had something you'd ever wanted and you wanted her so badly.

You can’t get enough of it. Or her.

And then, one day, you wake up and she’s just... gone. 

--

The next morning, feeling irritable and exhausted from your disturbed sleep, you walk into the avengers training room and find the one person you’d been hoping wouldn’t be there.

Of course, your mind spitefully whispers because of course it wasn’t enough for the universe to thrust her back into your life but it had to throw her in your face too.

When you enter, she has her back to you but you know she knows you’re there by the way her back stiffens slightly.

You watch as she stands up straighter at the words you throw at her back, unable to help yourself: “What is this? Babysitting duty? I think we’re passed that, aren’t we?”

She turns to you. “I usually come here early,” is all she says. She doesn’t respond to the bite in your voice.

You make a non-committal sound and then just decide to ignore her, stomping past her to make your way to the far corner of the room. You work by yourself in peace for about ten minutes before you hear the sound of footsteps and all of a sudden she’s in front of you.

“I need a partner,” she says. 

You have the urge to laugh in her face, before it strikes you how cathartic it would be to punch her right now, no matter how childish it might be, so you stand, letting the weight you’d been holding drop back to the floor with a loud thud, and follow her across the room.

You both crouch down in anticipation and you take a second to really look at her.

Her expression is unreadable. The pang you feel when you realise that surprises you.

There had been a time when you’d known her like the back of your hand and now she's nothing more than a stranger standing in front of you.

It hurts a lot more than you’d thought it would.

--

This continues for weeks. You don’t know why you let it happen but you do. You get up early; you go to the gym; you spar with her and then you fulfil the duties you’d been hired to do.

It’s almost easy to slip back into that headspace of your whole life revolving around her. Because it does. All you do is think about her when you’re not around her.

Over those weeks, you still barely speak a word to her because at least if you don’t speak, you have some kind of power.

To your surprise, she lets you ignore her, lets you pretend you don’t hear her whenever she speaks and you resent her a little more for that. You’d rather she hated you as much as you want to hate her.

It would make it all so much easier.

--

Eventually, though, you break.

You’re not strong enough to ignore your desire to know everything; to know how she’d ended up here. And why she’d clearly cared enough to stick around and try and save the entire world when you, a single person, hadn’t even been worth enough for her to stay.

“Why,” you pant, mid spar one morning. She’s kicking your ass, as usual. “Why here? Why the avengers?”

You’d sworn to yourself you’d never ask her this question but the yearning to know has been burning inside you since you’d walked into this building over a month ago now.

Equally as breathless, Natasha drops the careful façade she’d had up and looks at you with those eyes; the ones that could have made you do anything at one point in time. You’re not convinced they still couldn’t. “I wanted to do better… be better than what we were…. Isn’t that why you’re here, too?”

That answer hurts you more than any of the hits she’s landed on you this morning. And there’s been a lot. She’s still the superior fighter, even if she had left so long before you.

God, those words hurt to hear. Especially to have you lumped in with the clearly bad part of her life, whether it was her intention or not.

Maybe that’s why you say what you say next. Maybe there’s a little part of you wishes this whole situation would hurt her as much as it hurts you.

“How… uncharacteristic of you,” you ignore the last part of her sentence because honestly: you don’t know why you’re here. You feel like you’ve been lost and drifting your whole life and the only thing that had ever made sense to you was her.

You know your bitterness has bled into your voice with your words but you don’t make any effort to mask it. And if you can hear it, she definitely can too.

In the blink of an eye, she stops sparring with you, straightening up quicker than even you can catch. You let out a breathless huff of air as she grabs the front of your shirt pulling it so you’re forced forward until you’re almost nose to nose with her.

You hate that for a split second, before you can control yourself, you lean in slightly. As much as your mind can’t stand her, your body has no such feelings and it still wants her. You know you have no hope of hiding it from her so you don’t even bother.

“You don’t know me,” she says. The words come out of her mouth fiercely but the look in her eyes is soft, beseeching, like she wants you to hear her. “I'm not that person anymore.”

Like it matters.

It’s like you’re suspended in time for a second, and all you can think of as you look into her eyes is of the woman you knew.

You hate that you still miss her.

There’s a flicker of something in her eyes that you want to believe mirrors the torrent of emotions currently taking over you – the sadness, the anger, the grief – but you know better than to have hope when it comes to her.

You know all too well how it ends. And you’ve had enough of false hope.

Typically, in a fight, you know Natasha would come out on top – has every time -- but she’s never had your anger directed at her the way it is now and she isn’t expecting the way you’re practically vibrating with it as you shove her away, so hard that she stumbles backwards, only just managing to stay on her feet.

“Clearly,” you spit at her as you straighten up, and start walking towards the exit.

You know she’s still just standing there in the same spot. You can feel her eyes on you.“Yeah, run away,” she mutters under her breath.

It’s the first time she’s shown you the attitude you’d been giving her for weeks and her reaction is justified, you can admit it, but you don’t care.

You spin around, fury overtaking you as you advance on her until you’re pinning her against the wall behind her. “Sorry,” you hiss, glaring into her eyes. “I forgot you’re the only one who can do that.”

“That was different.”

You laugh. It’s not a nice one. It sounds like an injured animal trying to claw it’s way out of your throat. 

“Why? Because it was you doing it? Excuse me for not being —“

All of a sudden, she’s kissing you. Or you’re kissing her.

Either way, you’re kissing and you don’t know how exactly it happened but you know that you can’t get enough of her; can’t get her close enough even though there’s no longer even an inch of space between you.

She flips your positions, tugging you closer, and you’re abruptly bathed in cool air as she rips your shirt off you, shoving you against the wall.

Your heart picks up rapidly as she kneels in front of you, easing the rest of your clothes off in one fluid moment.

“I hate you. So much,” you tell her as you step out of your pants and it’s not convincing even to you. Still, you repeat it again and again as she kisses down your body – so tenderly and gently that your voice starts to wobble.

You hate it. You hate her.

She looks up at you from in between your legs, now on her knees. It’s such a vulnerable position that you find you can’t look at her and you have to close your eyes. Natasha digs her nails into your thighs as she forces them apart.

“Look at me,” she demands. Her grip tightens until you obey; you know you’re going have crescent shaped bruises tomorrow. Her gaze is soft and tender and just all consuming. You know there’s no coming back from it. You’d never had a chance, even back when you didn’t mind not having one. “Don’t look away.”

You don’t, not even when she finally, finally, touches you and your head falls back against the wall. 

You hold her gaze the entire time knowing how incredibly stupid this is and not caring at all about how much you’ll regret it later when you’re thinking straight.

--

And regret it, you do.

You stop working out early. You walk the other way in the halls if you see her. You know people are catching on that something is going on between the both of you; have caught multiple avengers giving you quizzical looks whenever you’re in the same room and it makes you feel even worse than before.

You channel all that regret into something more meaningful and commit to doing a damn good job at what you were actually here for. And you do. You can admit you do a fantastic job.

Every time you hand a report in or come back from a mission, you swear see a glimmer of approval in Fury’s eyes. Something you’d heard was notoriously hard to come by.

You must have done something really shitty in a past life though because after weeks of throwing yourself into your temporary duties, you walk into your temporarily office and are immediately flagged down by Fury, who debriefs you on the details of a mission he’s sending you on.

You’re thrilled for about three seconds until you see the name of the person you’re going with.

Agent Natasha Romanoff.

Fury is looking at you with a scrutinising expression when you look up from the file. Every time he looks at you it’s like he can see inside your soul. “Is that a problem?”

You grit your teeth and force yourself to smile. “Of course not, sir.”

--

It is a problem. A big problem, in fact.

You don’t speak to her on the flight there. Even though it’s only the two of you confined in the aircraft. You don’t even so much let yourself look at her. You can feel her looking at you multiple times, though, even though she’s piloting and should only be looking at the course in front of you.

There are no words exchanged between you all day beyond the times you absolutely have to speak. 

At least not until you reach the tiny hotel room you’d been given.

The second the door closes behind you both, she turns to you and opens her mouth and maybe it’s cowardly but you cut her off before she even start speaking.

“I’m going to have a shower,” you say and flee the room with your entire carry-on, worried that if you pause to sift through your things, she’ll keep talking.

Still in the same spot, the look on Natasha’s face when you emerge from the bathroom is full of clear exhaustion. You hate the way it makes you feel. Empty. Sad. It’s exhausting for you trying to convince yourself you hate her.

“I’m sorry I left,” she says and you freeze. “I wanted to come back. Find you. I just didn’t know - i didn’t know if you even wanted me to.”

You’ve wanted to hear those words for so long. Now you have you don’t know what to do. “Why did you leave?”

She hesitates. The look in her eyes tells you you’re not going to get a full answer. That as open as she’s trying to be, you still don’t get to know why she abandoned you. “It’s a long story.”

The evasion stings. “An apology means nothing if you won’t tell me why.”

It’s an unfair thing to say. You know that but you don’t really feel like being fair right now.

You chance a look up when she doesn’t respond and find her looking down at the floor. It makes you wonder what — or who — she must still be protecting by not telling you. 

It becomes apparent that she’s not going to say anything else after the silence between you drags on long enough that the tension in the air becomes almost unbearable.

You don’t want to give her the satisfaction of seeing the tears in your eyes so you flick the light off and turn the lamp on your shared nightstand off, throwing the both of you into immediate darkness. It’s definitely too early to be sleeping but you don’t care.

Eventually, after laying there rigidly for what feels like hours and listening to the sounds of Natasha tossing and turning in the other bed, you finally fall asleep and are immediately thrown into dream after dream that quickly turn into fitful nightmares.

Nightmares that may be more aptly called memories. After one particularly bad one that thrusts you back into consciousness, you bolt upwards, still half asleep. 

You only narrowly manage to avoid bumping straight into Natasha, who’s hovering above you, because of her hand on your shoulder holding you in place.

You flinch away from her instinctively and she backs up to give you a little space.

The only sound in the room is your heavy and desperate gasping for air. Natasha, now perched on the very edge of the bed, bites her lip, looking at you as if she knows exactly what you’d been dreaming about.

She probably does. It doesn’t take a genius to guess.

“Are you –"

“I’m fine,” you say flatly. You stare up at the ceiling, absently counting the tiles as you try to slow your breathing.

You’re hyperventilating, you know it, you just can’t get yourself to stop. You’re also sweating, it’s disgusting. You can feel how all of your clothes are stuck to you. Your hair flattened to your neck.

If you hadn’t been dealing with this for so long, you’re pretty sure that you’d think you were having a heart attack instead of a panic attack.

But you have. Been dealing with it. It’s just something you’ve come to expect now. You just never thought she’d be here to witness it.

All of a sudden, as you’re still trying to calm your breathing, the bed dips below you.

Your eyes fly open in shock to find Natasha sliding onto the mattress beside you, still on top of the covers.

Gingerly, she rests her head on the pillow next to your head and fixes her gaze on the ceiling.

It’s slight but her hand brushes against your own a few minutes later.

You suck in a breath between your teeth, but despite yourself, you let her move closer, until she’s so close you’re almost touching, and you can hear her quiet breathing.

Against your better judgement, you let your eyes slip closed again. Seeming to understand you’re not going to push her away, Natasha shifts closer, until you’re both shoulder to shoulder, the way she used to lay next to you when you had bad dreams when you were kids.

She grabs your hand, and slowly, hesitantly, she moves it to her chest where you can feel her heart thrumming rapidly under your fingertips. Surprisingly, it still works; you breathe in and out, in out in out, in time with her heartbeat.

You must at some point fall asleep because all of a sudden you can hear birds chirping outside the window and the sounds of people outside in the street.

When you open your eyes, you expect to find the spot next to you empty and the covers unruffled, as if she’d never been there at all but to your shock she’s still there beside you, awake and on top of the covers.

The circles under her eyes make you think she must not have slept at all.

You slide out of the bed and head towards the bathroom without saying a word, where you turn the shower on and just sit under the spray for what must be at least an hour, letting the water run over you and trying not to think.

This time when you return, she’s gone.

--

The rest of the mission goes smoothly. If nothing else, you both work well together as a team. You can still read her movements like a book, and she knows to anticipate what you’re doing before you even know yourself.

The days go fine. The nights not so much. You don’t speak about it but every night you’re woken up by the same dreams and every night you wake up to find her kneeling beside you.

If you were stronger willed, you would’ve shoved her away the first time, but you can’t bring yourself to. Maybe it’s a little selfish but you can’t find it in yourself to care. 

The last night of the mission is when you finally break, though. Something shifts in the air when you wake yourself up gasping and meet her eyes. The same eyes that had been blank and lifeless in your dream. 

You know she feels the shift as well by the way she’s looking at you, cautiously hopeful.

You don’t say anything though and neither does she. You just lay there, side by side, and watch each other carefully for what could be seconds, or it could be hours.

Her eyes are begging wordlessly: Truce?

Despite yourself, as you gaze back at her, you find yourself giving in. For tonight at least.

Truce.

[wizkiddx]

supercluster

this is my entry for @hollandsrecs 'toms birthday fanfic fest' event - go check it out!!! I know its a early but im v bored so have it now. also im acc kinda really proud of this one, any feedback would be v appreciated 🤍

the prompt was: 'you and tom are best friends and you tell him that you love him on his birthday'

summary: its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

best friends -> lovers

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bit angsty but promise ends all fluffy and a shit tonne of dialogue

wc: 3.5k ishhh

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Everything got a little too wild and stuffy in the living area, Haz and Harry screaming sweet caroline, whilst Greg (Tom’s stunt man) was pouring *another* round of shots. The sweatiness and clamminess of the room meant Y/n took a moment to escape, sliding out the double doors, and closing them softly behind her to ensure no one would notice her little escape. Something about the midnight air, the slightly dewy smell of the neighbouring fields, felt like it was refreshing Y/n from the inside out. When she turned around, back facing the fancy rented house, she was slightly shocked by Tom standing in the garden. It was his birthday party after all. In all honesty, Y/n felt a bit guilty she hadn’t noticed he wasn’t in the thick of it with his brothers and castmates.

His silhouette was set against the clear night sky, the stars extra prominent this evening and the moon casting a soft glow off the left side of his face, exaggerating the natural contours of his jawline and cheekbones. Clearly, he was enraptured by the sky, staring up at it with a thoughtful look on his face.

And Y/n recognised that look instantly; she knew what he was doing.

In fact, he had taught her to do precisely the same thing. As kids, the Hollands, Y/n’s family and another two families from the local area all went camping together. It was an annual event, ‘the Kingston collective camping adventure’ as Dom had named it. Y/n couldn’t remember a year when they hadn’t gone actually - it was that much of a tradition.

One year, though, when she and Tom were about 9, her mothers’ due date coincided with the camping dates. So, sensibly, the decision had been made that Y/n and her brother would just be looked after by the Hollands - whilst her mum and dad were safely tucked up in bed at home, awaiting the arrival of her littlest brother.

Y/n, her brother Alex, and Tom were all sharing a tent, and it must’ve been at least midnight that Tom was awoken by shuffling and zipping up of the tent. He’d realised she was gone through sleepy eyes and, without a second thought, went to go find her. Sure enough, she wasn’t far away, not even 50 metres from the tent, crouched on the grass. Immediately Tom’s presence had been noticed, making Y/m quickly snivel and wipe her face.

“Are you upset?”

“Go away Tom.” The comment didn’t do a lot, though; instead, 9-year-old Tom had planted himself down next to her - his pyjamas getting wet on the moist grass floor.

“Are you missing Auntie Sarah and Uncle Mike?” In the same way that Y/n called Nikki and Dom auntie and uncle, the Holland boys mirrored the nicknames for her parents. Y/n replied with a long sigh before hiccuping, failing to control the stream of tears. Yes, he was right - this was her first night away from her parents- but she wasn't about to spill her heart out to the 'stupid boy' who had stolen one of her marshmallows that evening. Tom’s little brown eyes swelled, looking slightly terrified and out of his depth, whilst with all his 9 years of wisdom, trying to come up with an answer.

“Do you want to play football to forget about it?”

Unsurprisingly Y/n shook her head violently. Tom cursed inwardly at himself for saying the wrong thing, apparently football wasn't the answer to everything. The two children went back to silence until Tom had the metaphorical light bulb moment. “My mum told me something for when I got to sleepovers? Look!” He grabbed Y/n’s little hand, extending it upwards towards the night sky.

“No matter where you are, you’re all looking at the same stars too, right?”

Tom jumped a little before looking over his shoulder and recognising Y/n with the softest smile that grew across his face. Y/n slowly walked to his side, arms crossed over her chest to try and keep the cold at bay, joining Tom in staring up at the starry expanse.

“How do you always know?” Tom spoke in a breathy chuckle, shaking his head slightly. It was true, she did always know - but his question was somewhat irrelevant. They'd spent most their childhood together, they were as easy to read as a children’s book to each other.

“Missing home?”

“Sort of, I got my own slice of home with the boys and-and you but… pads, mum dad yeh, feel like on your birthday your always supposed to see your family.”

Although Harry, Harrison, Sam and Y/n had managed to fly out to surprise Tom on his birthday- prior commitments meant his parents and youngest brother hadn’t been able to make it. They four arrived yesterday, greeted by a very shocked and pretty emotional Tom - who had clearly been missing the sense of home somewhat. He’d been away shooting a film, then straight away launching into press for the next spiderman movie. It had been a long while since he’d been in London - half a year in fact.

This time too, he’d been away without a single family member or friend - that was another truth he’d learnt about growing up. Your friends and family, they all get lives of their own. Tom used to be a trailblazer, the first to get a job, the one everyone was super proud of. They still were, of course, but didn’t dote on him in quite the same way - everyone had their own shit to deal with. It was yet another reason Tom wasn’t welcoming his birthday as much as he usually would.

“Your parents did always spoil you rotten.”

“They spoilt you worst and you’re not technically their kid.” Y/n rolled her eyes, even if it might slightly true - muttering a ‘touche’ at the brown-haired boy next to her. Their families had always been close; naturally the adults seemed to gravitate more to the kids that weren’t their own. The ones who you could ‘give back’ at the end of the day. It just so happened Nikki and Dom had always loved having Y/n around, maybe a bit more than anyone else.

“Have you had a good birthday then? You should be in there with Greg pouring that shitty vodka down your throat.” Y/n questioned, whilst shrugging back toward the house, the dull thump of Jacob's playlist just audible. Still, both stared upwards, standing close enough that their upper arms were both pressed up against each other. She expected a jovial answer, but even from his tone, it was evident there was something up. He sounded…weary?

“I’m bloody glad you all came...don’t get me wrong, I love Z and Jacob and everyone but….”

“Shitty week?”

“Shitty birthday week of promo and press.” Tom scathed, and Y/n nodded. Even if she couldn’t understand what was so bad about press, she knew that Tom hated it passionately. And in the same way, he loved all his castmates dearly, but they hadn’t known him his whole life. They didn’t understand why he did every little thing; their values lay just that bit apart. It just wasn’t the same as being surrounded with his family - you and Harrison adopted Hollands too.

“I just feel like I’ve spent all week trapped in a room answering the most stupid, irrelevant and inconsequential questions... Everything’s just so surface level and fake and, and I-“He cut himself off, for the first time meeting Y/n’s eyes. In all honesty, Tom got a bit caught up in the stars reflecting off her piercing y/e/c eyes before changing tack.

“Will you do me a favour?”

This wasn’t spoken with the normal Tom tone. It wasn’t joking or jovial; it wasn’t an ‘off the tongue’ thing. This was spoken with such seriousness and gravitas coming from his deep voice that Y/n replied equally truthfully.

“Always T, you know that.”

“Will you please ask me a personal and serious and deep question?”

She got where he was coming from too.

Clearly, even though the evening was supposed to be a light piss up in celebration, it had instead unearthed some darker thoughts that Tom had been harbouring away. Perhaps he never even realised he needed such seriousness, or perhaps with his castmates he hadn’t felt comfortable exposing himself like that. Either way, Y/n was going to respect him now. It was technically his birthday, too; the clocks had already struck 12 - it was now his day.

It wasn’t tricky to think of one; she’d often wondered the same question of him - never with the opportunity to ask. The question popped into her head again, almost as soon as Tom asked for one.

“Okay…. What’s your deepest regret that makes you feel guilty for feeling because in the grand scheme of things, it minor? Like such a 'first world problem'." What do you regret that’s just completely selfish?”

Tom immediately stiffened, his jaw tensing as he worked through his thoughts in his head. Scared she’d pushed it too far, Y/n averted her gaze back to the sky, chewing her bottom lip slightly. It took a moment, but then she saw Tom turn towards her, in the peripheries of her vision. With a tightly closed-lip smirk on his face he joked “If your gonna ask questions like that, we better sit down.”

And so they did, both sitting crossed legged on the ground, knees brushing against each other. Just on the grass lawn, almost mirroring themselves all those years ago as kids in that camping site. Y/n wondered if she should offer to play football instead - to cheer him up.

“Missing out. I miss out months at a time. Miss out on seeing mum and dad, miss out on the pub quizzes with the boys, miss out seeing you… I mean, I didn’t even know you had a new job until you mentioned it this morning. I miss out on time with nana Tess and all my grandparents, and that’s scary cos… well, every time I go, it could be the last time… I don’t know, I just… I get so much, get to travel, to see the world, but… sometimes it feels like I’m sacrificing the foundations. And without the foundations….”

“The walls come crumbling down.” Y/n finished off his sentence quietly, barely whispering the words - but from Tom’s nod of agreement, it seemed like she’d hit the nail on the head. There was silence for a beat till Y/n whispered to him.

“Well, happy birthday to you” Trying to bring the mood up a little, she bumped his shoulder, and Tom chuckled breathily.

“Seriously! This is helping me out. I-I just need to get everything out and start my 25th year fresh.”

“Hey, if that’s all you want, I’m getting a refund on my present- we can just get deep and interview each other.”

“I’m game, except I’m keeping the present too.”

“Just because it’s your birthday and I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll allow it.”

“Okay, well then, Y/n L/n”, He spoke formally, leaning in closer and making her giggle a little. “What’s your biggest regret?”

“Honestly?” Tom just repeated her in reply, but this time it was a statement.

"Honestly."

He really was going deep too. No holding back now. Y/n sucked on her cheek before replying. “Not travelling with you when we were 19… I was just so determined to get to uni and start grown-up life, but… well, grown-up life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I should’ve tried to stay a kid longer, messing about on your film sets and pretending it was work. I think I would’ve learnt more from seeing the world with you.”

“Well, I am very knowledgable.”

“Shut up, you drop out- who didn't know what a drag race was.” She wasn’t wrong, and whilst yes, he had dropped out to be a film star - he was still a dropout. (with exceptionally poor knowledge of RuPaul) He scowled, then leaning back on his hands, so he was half reclined on the grass as Y/n thought of her next question.

“Whats your biggest worry?”

“Easy.” He chuffed, making Y/n furrow her brows at him. Clearly, he’d already thought of this. “That I finally settle down with the love of my life, and then the fans or press or paps ruin it.”

It made sense; every time Tom had gone public with a relationship, it had ended in a minor car crash. Typically it was also the girl who got hurt; she was the ‘victim’ in everything. Though Y/n had seen first hand the effect it had had on Tom - he never made it out damage-free.

“You make it sound like you’ve already got this dream girl queued and waiting.”

“I wish”, Tom sighed, as Y/n took the opportunity to completely lie down on the grass, staring up at the dark abyss. She’d always loved the stars and had become a bit of a geek on them as they’d grown up too- and maybe it was all down to Tom on that camping trip. Following suit, Tom copied her, his head resting on his hands that were crossed behind his head, taking in the moment of pure peace as they lay on the grass.

“You see that bright one there?” Pointing up, Y/n shimmied closer to him so that he definitely saw the same thing as her. “It’s actually not one. Look closer.” Humming, Tom shifted a bit closer, so her shoulder slotted under the side of his body just the teeniest bit. It meant he could follow her direction and squinted up at the little patch of the sky.

“ 5…maybe 6? What is it?”

“The pliedes supercluster…. basically a big group of stars that all were born from the same place- the same stellar nursery.”

“But they’re moving now?” She hummed in confirmation to his question, briefly glancing at the way his eyes were fixed on the sky. For the first time he seemed genuinely interested in hearing her stories of the stars. It usually was an eye roll and ‘you’re so lame’.

“They’re called the sibling stars… like everything in life, as they get older they drift apart but…. but to us down here? They’ll always be associated together because they have a gravitational effect on each other. They’ll always have their thing tying them together. Like an invisible string.”

“Sounds like you’re being metaphorical.” Tom chuckled, expecting a taunt back but receiving nothing except a gentle agreement.

“Theres also actually 7. The last one people can only sometimes see… it’s a pulsing star, so comes and goes.”

“They do that?”

“Yeh, and no matter what… if you can see it or not, it’s always there. Always having an impact on its family.”

Biting his lower lip slightly, Tom repositioned his head slightly, Y/n’s words taking time to be fully absorbed. He was sure she was making parallels to him. Barely there, appearing and disappearing, but always a part of the family.

“You are being metaphorical.”

“Maybe.” She whispered shortly. “Metaphors depend on who’s listening and if they draw parallels to their own life. It’s subjective. You can’t tell anyone what is and isn’t metaphor…. it takes the beauty out of it.”

“Right, sure... But if you were…. me, harry, Sam, pads, you, Haz, Tuwaine? That the 7?” Y/n held back the little smile at his words. Tom wasn’t as ‘head in the clouds’ as she was- he was literal. Also, he was bloody stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I wasn’t being metaphorical T.” He knew she was lying. She knew that he knew. But it still helped him, made him feel a bit better. That he was always, in some way, having some effect... lives always intertwined with the people he cared about the most.

“Tell me another story about another star.”

Time for the rest of the night kind of got lost. The two young adults just lay on the grass, entirely in their own little world, using each others body heat to keep themselves warm through the early hours. Neither felt remotely tired, Y/n whispering her little stories of both the myths and science of the old stars, pointing out each planet. Meanwhile, Tom listened in awe, for once not taking the mick out of her incredibly geeky hobby. Instead, he found himself getting fascinated by all the little intricacies Y/n was so passionate about.

It was only when the stars began to fade, as orangey-red hue started to seep up from the horizon the either noticed the time. It was now the morning of the next day, the house long since had turned silent behind them - presumably, everyone finally passing out shit faced.

As the stars’ light was overtaken by the rising sun, Y/n ran out of stories; the two settled into silence - neither quite ready to go to bed yet.

“It’s still my turn,” Tom spoke into the sky before pivoting his head to look Y/n in the eye, seeing the confusion in her furrowed brows. “It’s my question to ask. My turn.”

“Aren’t you sick of my voice yet?” There was absolutely no reason that they were both whispering. It wasn’t like anyone was trying to listen or that they’d disturb anyone else my talking normally. But it was nicer that way. It felt calming... intimate even.

“One more. And then you get one more… and then we really should probably go to bed.” He didn’t want the night to end; he was immensely enjoying this weird grey time between being 25 and 26. But it was cold, Tom could tell Y/n had started to feel it a little more. To be fair, she was only in a floral day dress, not much in the way of warmth. With a hum of agreement, Y/n smiled lightly at him, urging his question.

“Whats the biggest secret you’ve kept from me?”

With a bit of a scoff, Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, trying to draw some strength she wasn’t sure she had. It wasn’t like she needed to wrack her brains to come up with it - she knew instantly. Almost painfully too.

“Uhm, honestly?” Now even more intrigued, Tom nodded, using his foot for nudge hers - encouraging her to speak. “Probably how much you mean to me.”

“Oh” He couldn’t help it; the sound just slipped out his mouth without checking with his brain first. That answer had just been so unexpected. He had honestly been thinking that it would be something about how ‘fame had changed him’. After hearing that, Y/n turned her head up the sky again, feeling like her cheeks were on fire with embarrassed heat. Tom knew he had fucked up.

“No, I… I didn’t mean- just just ask me too.” With a sigh, Y/n waved off his stumbled answer as he tried to cover himself.

“This is stup-“

“Ask me!” For the first time in 5 hours, Tom spoke at an normal volume - but it felt painfully loud, like a shout.

“What’s the biggest secret you kept from me?” Her tone was defeated, but nevertheless, he answered.

“How upset I was when you didn’t come when we were 19. I got why, but it was still annoying. Felt like you were picking uni friends over me-“ At this point on any other evening, Y/n would have interjected and argued. None of this situation was normal, though, so she chose to hear him out. “- I know it’s stupid, but…. I guess that’s how much you meant an-and still mean to me too.”

There was silence for a couple minutes, waiting whilst the sun started to peep over the horizon, the lone witness to an otherwise very private conversation. That was until Y/n barely spoke, more like mouthed 2 simple words.

“I lied.” The intensity of the way Tom stared at her made Y/n wish that the sun hadn’t been so bright, that they were back in the darkness that hid her face more. “Biggest lie I’ve told you … that I’m not in love with you.”

Y/n didn’t see because she couldn’t face looking at him, but Tom’s face erupted into the most prominent, toothiest smile. Whilst Tom was enjoying the moment of being absolutely ecstatic, Y/n was waiting for a response- feeling her world come crashing in. That she'd just destroyed one of the most important friendships in her life too.

But then he said the opposite of what she thought he would.

“I lied too.”

That had her attention, whipping her head toward him as Tom rolled onto his side on the lawn, balancing with his head resting on one hand. “I lied that I’ve not been completely under your spell since we were kids at that campsite, and you were homesick.”

Y/n’s heart was literally in her mouth, brain overwhelmed but one overriding thought oh so bloody clear.

She’d lost control of everything, arching up to mirror Tom. Using one hand, she reached out to cup Tom’s jaw, to which he instinctively leant toward - until their lips were mere centimetres apart, hot breath fanning over each other.

Y/n no control as she whispered those 3 words against his lips. No control at how immediately after he pressed his to hers; no control as Tom guided her to roll on top of him, knees either side of his torso as his strong arms wrapped around her back.

Once again, time was lost between the two, only pulling apart when their lungs burned for oxygen.

“For the record, I love you too.” Grinning from ear to ear, Tom used one hand to gently stroke his thumb across her cheek, switching his focus from her left to right eye - in wonder at how the early morning sun reflected from her y/e/c irises. He’d always thought she was beyond beautiful, but when she was this close to him, with the sun rising behind her in such a way - she looked damn ethereal.

“Happy birthday T.” Nodding in agreement, Tom chuckled before finding her lips once again, whispering against them.

“Yeh, happy damn birthday to me.”

~~~~let me know what you think ;) ~~~~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter

[kirschteinsj]

Pinky Promises

Nanami x fem! reader

Warnings: nothing too much! maybe language but overall just a bunch of fluff and lovey dovey stuff 

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: Domestic Nanami and reader, just thinking about how much they love each other. sappy and cute stuff.

A/N: Hi! ^_^ Second time posting, I’ve had this one shot saved for a bit now! finally posting it lolz. I've noticed a lot of people have written domestic Nanami pics or drawn art, very glad society as a whole has this perception of him. it truly heals the soul I think. anyway, I hope u like this and sorry if there’s any grammar errors I wasnt able to catch U_U im thinking of doing a hc post next.... unsure hm, we’ll see ^_^!!

“I’m hooooome.” He says loudly as he steps through the apartment door, setting his briefcase down and taking off his beige coat. Putting down the grand kitchen knife she was using to chop up spinach, she rushed to the door with a smile and engulfed the tall blonde into a tight hug, saying hello. She took a deep breath, inhaling the soft scent of his cologne, the smell of something sour and musty soon taking over. Her face scrunched up and she let out a giggle.

“Oh god, Nanami, you stink, what did you go against today?”

“Nothing too bad. Just a grade 3,” He sighed “A smelly grade 3.” He sounded disappointed, probably because he knew he stunk too. Though the smell was horrendous, she still remained in his arms and he still held on just as tight.

“Are you tired? I was thinking of making dinner with you tonight but if you’re too tired I can-”

“No no. I’m fine. Just let me wash up and I’ll help out.”

“You sure?” She asked looking up towards him, questioning once more to reassure. He looked down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m sure, dear.”

While he showers upstairs, she gets back to readying the ingredients so they could begin cooking their masterpiece as soon as possible. Tonight she had chosen chicken alfredo with a tossed salad; One could say it was her favourite, but saying that would imply that she would eat it when cooked and served by whomever. But to her, she would only eat it when it was him who had made it for her.

Y/n adored him. He adored her. To her, he was her light. She could simply not imagine life without him, not after he had come in and changed her in such a way. She never in a million years would have thought to be so in love with someone. To have known someone who cared enough to hear all about her day or listen to all her tangents, whether they made sense or not. Who listened to her talk forever about anything just so he could see the faint glow of passion in her eyes. Someone who remembered the small details in regards to the things she loved and the things she despised; Like how she hated the feeling of peanut butter on her fingers and how she absolutely admired the scent of fresh pages in a new book. Sometimes, she felt undeserving of him.

He admired her like no other. Never did he believe he’d be capable of opening up to anyone in such a way, at least not until she walked into his life. He could write a million lists, all full of everything he loved about her. The way she smiled cheekily at him after a witty remark, how she'd give every hug as if it was the last, the way she was oh so patient with him. It took him time to become vulnerable in the slightest, he just didn’t know how to do so without burdening her. She knew his job was hard, he’d told her. But rather than running away like he expected, she stayed with him right by his side. She refused to leave him over that. If anything, it made her want to stay more since she felt the need to be there for him. It felt like a punch to the gut but a good one. “So, is this love?” He had asked himself then. Nanami had someone who brought out the much more joyful side to him. At the end of the day, he knew he’d walk through the front door only to see her, arms wide open and with a big smile offering a cozy hug. She was his home. Sometimes, he felt undeserving of her.

Putting the final piece of broccoli into the container, she tidies any clutter and went back to their shared bedroom. Sinking into the bed and falling on it with a plush thump, she lets out a deep sigh mixed with some sort of a groan. She herself was exhausted from work too to say the least. She didn’t deal with curses or anything like that, but she did teach a class of 9 year olds which one could consider just as frustrating. Yawning, she checks her phone to read the time: 6:15 PM. Nanami hadn’t been in the shower for too long, a small nap wouldn’t hurt. Quickly, she settled for a little 30 minute nap. That way, she could get up soon enough to help him out in the kitchen and not abandon him to do everything on his own. She turns her phone off and slowly, her eyes shut.

…

Y/n slowly opens her eyes and notices a grey throw blanket placed on her, something that she doesn’t recall going to bed with earlier. “Must’ve been Nanami.” Grabbing her phone, she turns the screen on, wincing at the incredible blue light piercing into her skull. “Fuck.” she mumbles. Once her eyes adjust, she glances back at the screen for the time: 7:30.

“FUCK,” she says, voice croaking “I overslept.” With the speed of light, she leaves bed and runs down the hall to the bathroom to freshen up. She soon makes her way over to the kitchen silently, slightly ashamed and guilty. Y/n mumbles a whine with a frown, “He’s probably done making things now. I could have helped.”

The kitchen is filled with the delicate scents of sauces, cheese and herbs. She watches him from the door frame, admiring her boyfriend. He stood in front of the stove mixing at the sauce for the alfredo, which scent alone made her mouth water. Nanami seems to be in his own world, as he stands humming to himself softly, stirring the pot of sauce and adding in the broccoli and spinach, not seeming to notice y/n. With a final stir, he carefully sets the lid and turns to rinse his hands. Her gaze sits upon his figure, how his grey oversized shirt slightly clings to his shoulders and loosens as it goes down his body. Looking down, she noticed the bright red christmas pyjamas he had on, the ones with adorable little reindeers all over them. Grinning, she remembers how she had bought those for him. She purchased a matching set for the two of them and insisted on wearing them all day on Christmas last year. Nanami had responded to the idea with a stern “No” which left y/n in shambles. She didn’t expect him to agree, but hey, a girl can dream. However, on Christmas day, lo and behold, she had woken up to find Nanami sitting on the couch, watching the news with his reindeer PJs on. Immediately, she had attacked him with hugs and kisses and all Nanami did was sit there and accept them, secretly loving it the whole time.

A deep voice throws her out of her thoughts. “You know, it’s rude to stare, right?”

Y/n chuckles quietly and makes her way over, wrapping her arms around him from behind, snuggling into his back.

“I like to stare at you, you’re cute,” she breathes in his scent once again, “ah, you smell so much better now. Like the nami I know.”

“I am not cute. I am a grown man.”

“C’mon, you can’t possibly be saying that right now. Not while you’re wearing these pants.” She coos, gently patting his butt. He goes silent, refusing to rebuttal knowing that he’s lost. He leans against the counter, his front facing her. Though he didn’t say anything, y/n sees this as an open invite to his arms. The rope of his arms finds her waist this time, her arms in an embrace around his neck.

“Whatever, tell me, how was your day, hm?” He posed, changing the subject.

“Same old, yenno. The kids and I had a discussion today about drugs and safety. It was cute, hearing them rat out their neighbours for smoking cigs and talk about how yucky they thought alcohol is. It was… sweet. How was work for you, hon?”

“Shit.” He retorts, closing his eyes, “Work is shit.”

“Oh come ON, I’m sure it’s not always that bad, right? Say, how’s your friend doing, you know, the one who kinda looks like one of my makeup brushes! Isn’t he good company?”

“Yeah, if good company means having to deal with a nuisance to society on a daily basis then by all means, yes, Gojo is wonderful company.” He joked, loosening his grip on her and making his way over to the stove to check on his sauce. She follows, opening the first drawer and pulling out a silver spoon, “You’re so mean sometimes. I think he’s a great guy to be around! I met him once, such a flirt.”

He teases calmly, “If you love him so much, why don’t you get with him?”

Taking her spoon, she lowers it into the pot and brings it back up to her face, blowing on it carefully before she puts it to her lips to taste. “Hmm, I would. But I don’t think he’s as big as you. I’ll have to pass.” She smirked, putting the spoon into her mouth as he watched and sighed in disappointment.

He glares,“God, you’re something else.”

“I’m just kidding, babe.” Bringing her spoon down for another taste. He swats at her hand and she retreats it with a whine. “Don’t do that. You’ve tried it already, and will again when we get to eat.” He scolded tenderly, “Plus, you shouldn’t be given these privileges anyway. It’s not like you helped out or anything.” He smiled, teasing her.

“Nanamiiii, I’m sorry,” she whines, half laughing, “I promise, I was going to help! I just got a little bit sleepy and sort of lost track of time…” He turned over to her and lifted her face with a finger under her chin. Laughing, he delicately caresses her cheek, tapping it admirably with a curled finger. The blonde chuckles and looks her in the eyes, “I’m just joking with you, love. I know you’ve been tired lately, I can tell. Why haven’t you been resting?”

Her smile falls and she sighs. Y/n wrapped her arms around his waist and brought him into her, hiding her face into his chest. It was true, she was exhausted but she didn’t deem it to be anything so serious. Work was just heavy this past week from having to grade her students’ work in time for report cards. All she wanted was the best for her kids and was finding ways to get the kids out of their comfort zones enough to do well in class. That reminded her, Nanami also mentioned having a student of his own.

She takes her face out of his chest and glances upwards. “It’s just this week of work, I promise I’ll be back to normal soon. I’ve just been busy with lesson plans and activities, yenno. Anyway, speaking of students, how’s the one you’ve been assigned to?” She posed in a soft tone. Half smiling, he turned around to add the strained pasta to the sauce, scattering it into the pot.

“He’s special. Quite lively. And cheerful. He reminds me of you sometimes,” his voice strains as he stretches to grab the bowl of cooked chicken to finally add into the pot, finishing the meal, “He’s got potential.” Y/n beamed with happiness. Nanami really seemed to like this kid and if he thought you had potential, then it sure as hell meant you had it.

She lets out a squeal, “EEEEEEK!!! That sounds amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Nanami suppressed a laugh and rolled his eyes, “It’s not that-”

“This calls for a drink, don’t you think?” She babbled with excitement, “We should have some wine! Right?”

Grabbing her wrist as she skipped her way over to the bottle, he reminded her, “You have school tomorrow. You always end up having more than needed and struggle to wake up in the morning.” Y/n frowned at his words, to which he noticed and tried to fix, “Tomorrow’s Friday, you can drink plenty tomorrow, hm? I’ll drink with you.”

“Ugh, fine. You’re right. But you have to promise.”

“I promise you ca-”

“No! You have to pinky-promise.” She demanded, pouting as he stuck out her pinky finger.

His heart skips a beat. Was she always this cute? Her angelic eyes stare into his tired ones. Bottom lip poking out, awaiting Nanami’s pinky to interlock with her own. He knew she took pinky-promises very seriously despite her grown age. It was among one of the many petty details that he cherished. Something about this pinky-promise was enough for her to ensure trust onto someone, it made him laugh. Her naivety is what made her so kind hearted, what allowed her to see the best in people. He felt that this naivety is why they’re together to begin with. He didn’t ever think she’d give him a chance. He reminisced of their first few encounters. The way she did her hair back then, the way she dressed, her shy smile and how she’d look at the floor whenever she’d blush. Maybe it was her timid nature that made him fall head over heels for her. Or maybe it was her generosity. Perhaps her beauty. He was unable to simply confine the reasoning for his infatuation with just a few traits. She grew overtime, more comfortable and less shy, she was more confident around him but he knew he could still make her blush so badly that she’d have to hide her face from him. He enjoyed their banter, her company. He felt it was luck. Or maybe it was fate. Who knows. He didn’t want to think so much about it. He wanted to live in the moment, adore her in this present time. In that instance, he felt the strong urge to kiss her. And so he did.

The kiss was short and sweet, yet full of an unfathomable amount of love. It took her aback, she didn’t quite see it coming. She too stood in the present moment, then and there, cherishing the man she loved.

His lips leave hers and he extends the smallest finger on his hand, declaring, “I pinky-promise.” And a ginormous grin washes over her face. In a whisper, she squeals and scoops her arms around his torso, resting her head onto his chest. They stay like this for a while, not too long really, but to them it felt like an eternity being in each other’s affectionate embrace. He goes to speak and she feels the vibrating boom of his voice make his way up from his chest.

“I love you.”

She sighs, “I love you too.”

Turning her head, y/n smoothly gets on her tip toes and clasps her arms around his neck, giving it a tender kiss and attempting to make a trail leading up to his sharp jaw. Catching onto her tactics he laughs, putting his big hand against her face and pushing her back.

“Seriously?” He chuckles, “You couldn’t wait till after dinner? Come on, take out the plates.”

“Wait for what? I was just kissing you! You’re so dramatic, Nami.” She lies, playing innocent. She knew damn well what she was trying to do. She wasn’t going to admit to it though. Taking out the plates and utensils, she readied the table.

…

After dinner and meaningless conversation, the two lovers tidied and headed towards their room. “Do yo wana wah a mohee tomowwow nie?” Y/n proposed from the bathroom as she brushed her teeth. He perks his head up, confused, “Do I want to what?” She spat into the sink and rinsed her mouth, repeating her question.

“I said, do you wanna watch a movie tomorrow night? Like at home? There’s this documentary I saw on Netflix, it looks really good! It’s crime related.”

“That sounds fine with me. Though, that’s only possible if you don’t end up drinking too much. I always have to get you to sleep early when you drink.” He states nonchalantly, nose poked into a thick book. She rolls her eyes and smiles, “I promise I won’t drink all that much.” Shifting his book to the opposing hand, Nanami silently takes his pinky finger and holds it out to y/n. She snickers and reciprocates.

“You’ve now pinky-promised. Don’t break it, y/n.”

“I never do.”

The nightstand lamp illuminates the room with a soft yellow glow. Shadows of objects on the nightstand hang on the walls. Laying in bed on her phone, y/n turns over to Nanami, who was still reading his book. “Nami, come lay next to me, I wanna cuddle. Please?” Her voice faint. He looks down at her and puts his book away immediately. He could use a cuddle too. Bringing himself down, he lays on his back, y/n closing the gap between the two. Their legs intertwine, her arm and head resting on his chest while one of his hands rested on her bum, the other dotingly playing with her hair. Neither of them spoke a word for a while. Until y/n broke the silence.

“So, were there no other pairs of pants you had left to wear or-”

“Please, be quiet.”