#< heavily implied so putting for all the people who want to avoid it

[pat-thecat]

"I'M SO SORRY CHARLES"

So I've just realised I've never posted this drawing I've made of Lestappen in the cactus ring so here ya have it! Since there isn't any race for the next weeks :<

Obsessed with this idea since I've started making this au, THE ANGST >:3, also no Max is definitely not a Watcher never...

Fellas is it gay beating to death your "ally" because you're the two last men standing?...

(As always my asks are open, I'm more than happy to yap about this!)

[paragonrobits]

i was just thinking about how in later Discworld books, even as its an unspoken understanding among everyone in Ankh-Morpork that Carrot is the King of the city and he's probably the last descendant of the original ruling line, not only does Carrot avoid pushing the narrative to exploit it unless absolutely necessary, but it never de-emphasizes the fact that he's a dwarf by adoption

Even in later books Carrot is still regularly writing letters to his family in their mine; he thinks of himself as a dwarf, he is CONSIDERED to be a dwarf by all except the most hardliners of dwarf society (and even they can't outright deny him dwarf status, the best they can do is say he is an anomaly); he might USE his narrative status as the One True King, but in his heart, to himself, he is still the child of the Ironfounderssons.

His human heritage is functionally irrelevant to him unless he needs to make use of it, much like his ancestral sword. And it occured to me, what if he actively chose to distance himself from his human heritage because he learned about them in later books and found nothing worth acknowledging?

Carrot is in a weird place because he is the One True King, a narrative status that makes him the good and wise king who knows only truth and justice and comes bringing goodness to all, and this is quite a contrast to the ACTUAL kings of Ankh-Morpork, who were universally at BEST a bunch of horribly useless and inept absolute rulers that are living embodiments of 'the aristocracy are dumber than a sack of doorknobs' the series leans into, and at worst are implcitly some of the most horribly sadistic and cruel people in the setting.

One particular example is Lorenzo the Kind, the last king of Ankh-Morpork, whose name was deliberately ironic; he was so horrifically sadistic that he spelled the end of the kingship because he's the one who was killed by Suffer-Not-Injustice Vimes, who because no one was willing to judge him because kings were considered Special, just dragged him off his throne, cut off his head, and the surviving family members were exiled from the city.

Lorenzo is the last member of Carrot's biological ancestry we have definitive information on, off the top of my head, and he paints a dark, horrific image. He's painted as the absolute nadir of horror from the ruling classes, and is heavily implied to have been a sadistic pedophile with a penchant for torture (at the very least Carrot and Vimes both note that he was apparently fond of children and was painted with a lot of them nearby at all times, discussing it in a way that suggests a DEEPLY uncomfortable topic neither of them wants them to address, and later in Feet Of Clay Vimes points out that Lorenzo had unspecified but horrific machines in the basement).

Carrot is very strongly implied to, at least starting from Men At Arms (in which he discovers he is the king), have investigated his ancestry, and he's able to elaborate on their actions and history, and this also marks the point where he carefully but firmly emphasizes his dwarf heritage for the rest of the series.

He found out who his ancestors were, and discovered they were horrifically evil people, and that Mister Vimes was fully justified in being proud of his ancestor putting them down like rabid beasts, and it leads to him firmly emphasizing that his family are the Ironfoundersson dwarfs.

[bonesandthebees]

Has Tommy(innit) said anything about whats all happening?

About Wilbur?

also could you explain whats going on, please?

I kind of know but not too well, I just woke up, got news Wilbur abused someone, and everyone saying 'fuck wilbur'.

I will not support anyone who supports abuse in any way, but please understand that this is quite a shock to wake up too.

oh man I am feeling so bad for people who haven't been aware of anything that's been going on the past week

alright, a week ago Shubble (aka Shelby), a popular mcyt streamer/youtuber who has been in the scene for a very long time, did a stream talking about her last relationship. she didn't name her ex-boyfriend, but discussed all the ways in which he physically and emotionally abused her throughout their relationship and how she didn't realize it until later. their stream was largely meant to spread awareness of domestic abuse and the warning signs of it. and although they didn't name him, the details they mentioned about their ex made it pretty clear wilbur soot was their ex. twitter blew up talking about it, some people tried to claim shelby wouldn't want them to speculate so she made a tweet saying it's not that she didn't want to name her abuser, it's that she couldn't. since everyone had already been theorizing it was wilbur it was pretty well understood at this point that if their abuser wasn't wilbur, they would've said so. alongside this, a trumpeter who used to tour with lovejoy and a photographer for the band both heavily implied shelby's ex was wilbur.

after trending for five days straight on twitter with everyone talking about the allegations, wilbur posted a statement yesterday confirming that yes, he is the ex shelby was referring to, and 'apologized' for his behavior. except his apology brushed aside all of the emotional abuse he put her through, and in the same statement he claimed he thought the physical abuse (where he would bite her all the time to the point of her being covered in bruises) was consensual and a 'playful' thing despite the fact that shelby explained it was anything but. basically, his apology was dogshit and was him trying to avoid taking any kind of accountability for what he put her through. many many cc's in the twitch sphere, including wilbur's former circle of friends, replied pointing out how terrible his apology was.

tommy has not said anything yet, but also I don't expect him to say anything so soon. he just had surgery, like, what, 2 weeks ago? pretty sure he's still hopped up on pain meds. not to mention, he and wilbur have been incredibly close friends since tommy was 16. it's not easy to come to terms with the fact that someone you've known since you were 16 and looked up to as an older brother is not the person you thought they were.

alongside that, ranboo streamed yesterday and discussed the situation. they've been vocal in their support of shelby on twitter, and also told their viewers to give other cc's time for a response. they pointed out a lot of their friends are only just now learning what kind of person wilbur really is. they also said that some other cc's might not make statements at all and might just silently distance themselves from wilbur.

also, shelby herself liked this tweet yesterday

so yeah, I wouldn't expect to hear from tommy directly on this for a while, if ever. I also wouldn't be surprised if he just silently distances himself from wilbur instead of saying anything outright.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

[Not] Guilty Part 2

Part 1 

A few people expressed interest in this becoming a series. I had a storyline for it when I made the first ‘chapter’. I do warn you guys though I will probably be slow to post. I have a hard time when I feel like I have to write the next chapter of something. Not to mention I am currently packing (and procrastinating packing by writing) to move from Michigan to Tennessee for my new post-grad job!  

This is not a spoiler because I hinted heavily (told you really) at it at the end of the first chapter, but I did want to warn everyone- this has the ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY TROPE. For those of you who do not like those stories, you have been warned. The case is mentioned in this story but is not its main focus, but what will become of the reader and Sonny’s relationship. (I may change the name because it implies otherwise.)  

Warnings- mentions of sex abuse, physical abuse, prison violence, suicide and accidental pregnancy trope (just in case you missed it ^)

Thank you for reading that really long author's note <3

The breakup should be harder on you. It was the longest relationship you had been in. The nervousness you had felt when you had crept up to the six-month marker and the kiss of death to every relationship you had ever had. It had come in like a lion, with you causing fights waiting for the inevitable, and out like a lamb when Sonny realized what the problem was. He had maturely communicated that he had no intent in letting you go. It had been smooth sailing for the most part after that. The relief you had felt when it all just seemed to work out. You guys were just a few weeks away from the year mark.  

The end was as abrupt as your cousin Randy’s arrest. The betrayal of Sonny going after him without any regard to you. Then the attempted railroading from him to you of Randy’s guilt. The whole thing had left you cold and numb.  

You knew Dominick Carisi was a good lawyer and now he could be the one to put Randy away for life. On a charge you were sure he didn’t commit. You hadn’t seen him much since the day you refused to let him into your apartment. You only saw him during court proceedings or meetings with him and Randy’s defense lawyer. Not that he hadn’t tried. He had called, texted, and stopped by your apartment frequently during the first few weeks. You were sure he thought that you were just overacting and that you would come to see the light of your cousin’s misdoings. Process and then accept what was going on. The only difference was you knew deep in your soul that your cousin wasn’t guilty. You wouldn't let anyone railroad you into thinking anything differently.  

Not even a man you loved. 

You had been actively avoiding him and any emotion that he provoked. You tried to ignore that you were a hot mess. The stress and emotional strain caused constant fatigue and churning in your stomach which had a tendency to make you sick. You had been trying to take care of everything for the case and still work overtime to continue paying your bills and for Randy’s pricy lawyer. You had even tried to get the money to bail Randy out, but Sonny had asked for an outrageous bond that even combined your working-class family couldn’t afford. You had tried to make up for it by putting money in his commissary and visiting once a week. Randy assured you he was okay, but it didn’t help make you feel better. Especially, when you saw the black eye and cut lip on your last visit.  

Today was court and it was Randy’s turn to testify. You sat there in support of him and tried not to wince or shift uncomfortably as years of family secrets were let loose in open court. It was to help show Randy’s character the lawyer had explained. It was smart but you didn’t have to like listening to it.  

Randy testified to his mental health issues. His bipolar that left him manic and on top of the world one day and then so depressed he couldn’t get out of bed the next. He went on to talk about the sexual and physical abuse he had received at the hands of his own father. How he had used substance to numb himself. He was in tears when he talked about how he could never hurt someone like he had been hurt. He would rather put a bullet in his head.  

He had tried to skirt around the question about his uncle. But when he was pressed, he talked about how he had witnessed the brutal murder of his father at his uncle's hands when he had found out and then watched his uncle be arrested and put in prison. How he had been put on multiple 72-hour psych holds in the years following. Listening to it all was hard and made you want to curl up in a corner and sob. It was heartbreaking to listen to. Randy looked and sounded believable- like a victim himself who deserved empathy.  

Sonny turned in his seat to look at you. You were only able to maintain eye contact for only a few seconds. It had been long enough to see the understanding in his eyes. The almost audible clicking of all the puzzle pieces of your life that you dodged around or refused to talk about when you were together were finally coming together for him. You could also see the frustration at you not being honest with him and him being blindsided in open court. 

When recess was called until Monday you had to keep yourself from running out of the courthouse and instead force yourself to walk at a normal pace. You couldn’t face any of the SVU detectives that you were once close to. You hear your name called and your body freezes without your permission. A Staten Island accent thickened with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

You can’t even turn back to look at him. You feel exhausted as you say. “You didn’t want to listen.” 

≪ °❈° ≫ 

You return to court four days later, and there is something strange brewing in the courtroom. You can feel it in the air. You can see it. There is no jury and the courtroom is empty. The rest happens in a blur. ADA Dominick Carisi stands up and tells the judge they had found further evidence over the weekend and they wanted to drop all charges, except for possession. They offered a deal on time served. You felt the tears rush down your face in disbelief. 

You find yourself in the hallway and a hand touches your shoulder from behind. You turn around to see Olivia Benson. “For what it is worth, I’m sorry.” Her face is sincere but all you could hear in your mind was the echoing of her words to you of his guilt and how it was normal to be in denial. It could take a while for your mind to be able to comprehend that someone you know, and love is capable of such malicious intent. “For all the trouble and for all this has cost you.” Even in your haze, you knew she wasn’t talking about the money you had put into Randy’s defense. “With his DNA in her apartment and on that blunt we really thought-” 

“Sharing weed with a woman doesn’t mean you're going to rape and kill her.” Your words are bitter and distant even to your own ears. 

“Of course not,” Olivia paused gathering her thoughts. 

“What happened? What did you guys find?”  

“Well, we went back over the timeline. We had a hard time believing Randy because when we interviewed him, he didn’t even know where he had been for most of the night.” You knew he had been hopped up on some pretty strong stuff that night. “Do you know the cemetery a couple of blocks from where we arrested him?” You felt like a bolt of lightning had struck through you. You did in fact know it. It was where his older brother had been buried after he committed suicide at twenty. “There was a security camera there that had been installed because of some teenager destroying headstones. It shows Randy there hours before Mary Moore’s death to hours after it. He slept there all night actually.” 

You huff out a laugh. Thomas was Randy’s older brother by almost ten years. He, out of the three sons, had taken the worst of the abuse from their father. He had protected Randy and the youngest David until the moment he had ended it all, but it seemed even death couldn’t stop him from protecting his younger brother. 

You see Randy getting released, a bag of belongings in his hand and you start to head over to him completely forgetting that you had been in a conversation with the detective. You are only reminded when you hear her voice raise slightly as she says, “You know, Carisi is the one that started looking back at the timeline. He is the reason this case was dropped.” You freeze feeling something twist in your stomach. An emotion that you don’t want to deal with in this happy moment. 

“It doesn’t change anything.”  

You stride to Randy’s side and hug. You weren’t allowed to touch him when you were visiting him in lockup. He clings to you burying his face into your neck and you can feel the hot tears against your neck. “Thank you. Thank you so much for never giving up on me.” You hug him tighter feeling your own tears roll down your cheeks.  

≪ °❈° ≫ 

You were sitting back at the apartment curled up on the couch wrapped in a blanket as Randy was spending an ungodly amount of time in the bathroom. You smiled to yourself, just happy that he was home. Even if he was back to crashing on your couch. He joined on the couch, hair still wet from his shower. He leaned back into the cushions with a sigh. The two of you sat in silence processing all that had happened in the last four months.  

“I found a rehab program when I was locked up. It focuses on people with mental health issues like my bipolar. I called and they said they had a spot open for me. Someone ran out. Good luck, huh?” You laugh shaking your head.  

“Good to know you still have your positivity streak.” You lay back feeling absolutely exhausted. You had been having a fatigue that just wouldn’t go away. “I think it's a good idea though. It would be good for you to get that settled. Your being off and on your meds hasn't been helping. I just want you to be happy, and have a real chance at the life you deserve.”  

“Yeah, I know. I hope you know I appreciate everything you have done for me. Everything that you have had to sacrifice.” You say his name, but he cuts you off, “No, really Chickadee. All these years, you didn’t have to do any of it. Without you, I would have been dead or locked up three times over by now.” You reach out and start running your finger through his hair. “It’ll probably be good for you to have to space anyways.” 

“I don’t mind you sleeping on my couch.” You assure him. 

“I know, but with you being pregnant and all. I’m sure you-” 

“I’m sorry about me being what?” Randy doesn’t miss a beat. 

“Oh, come on Chickadee. I know you were trying not to make a big deal out of it because of everything that was going on but-” You shake your head at him, laughing. 

“Randy, I’m not pregnant.” The finality in your voice makes him turn his position to face you more fully. He quirks an eyebrow at you. 

“Are you sure about that?” His tone is one of disbelief as he eyes your form. You smack his shoulder saying his name loudly. “Well, I would check into that, anyhow. You know with the fatigue, upset stomach, morning sickness, and with how big those things have gotten.” He gestures to your breast with a wave of his hand.  

You look down at them and feel your mind starting to spiral as you try to think of the last time you had a period. You bite your thumb as you realize it was before the case had started. While it wasn’t uncommon for you to skip when you were stressed out, that was a considerable amount of time. “Alright, I’m kicking you out of my bed. I haven’t had a good night's sleep in almost four months.” Randy didn’t seem to notice your mind spinning. He thought that you were still just messing around with him. He had no idea the can of worms he had just opened in your head. 

You stood up numbly as he started making the couch his makeshift bed. Then flopping onto it with a content sigh. You say nothing as you go to grab your purse and head toward the drug store a block over.   

[shepherds-of-haven]

Hi Lena! I remember Chase referring to MC as their 'guaranteed ace in the hole' or something along those lines before they headed out on the bog adventure (sorry, I've forgotten the exact name of the town they get to) - how would the RO's react to a MC who gets uncomfortable when referred to as a fail-safe / guaranteed win / trump card kind of thing, or if MC pulled them to one side and asked them not to say things like that because they weren't comfortable with it / feel they might jinx it? Thanks for all your hard work, the game is amazing!

Hi there, thanks for your question, it's an interesting one!

Blade: I think he would be disconcerted to hear this from MC, and while outwardly agreeing not to say anything like that in the future, he'd feel guilty and conscious of having made them feel the burden of responsibility and over-relying on them too much, so he's probably be a bit distant towards them afterwards (trying to be considerate by not relying too heavily on them/putting pressure on them, which could come off as coldness)

Trouble: "oh shit, sorry, I didn't think about that. But I don't think it'd jinx it, you're MC after all! But I get it, I'll try not to say anything like that again." I think if it were about MC's discomfort, he'd feel a bit guilty, but also like he wished they saw what he saw in them, this total confidence and faith, but he'd ultimately respect their wishes and try not to do anything like it again. If it was more of a superstitious thing, I think he'd challenge them a little bit on it, like "Nah, have more faith in yourself, look at what you did in ____ and _____, after all!" Like trying to hype them up a bit and give them more confidence in a good-intentioned way, which might result in a back-and-forth where he came off as a bit stubbornly asserting his faith in them and wanting them to feel the confidence he feels in them, which could also make MC feel frustrated, like he's not getting it. Ultimately he'd concede and drop the subject, but feel a bit troubled about it after, but not in a way that he'd really articulate unless MC brought it up again!

Tallys: I really don't think Tallys would say anything like this to begin with, because she's already conscious of how it might make MC feel and how she would feel if she were in their shoes, so she tends to avoid making statements like this right out of the gate!

Shery: she'd feel horrifically guilty, lol, and she'd apologize to MC profusely over and over and sort of torment herself about it afterwards, like, I'm just another of the people who depend too much on MC, I never even considered their feelings, I'm a selfish person... So she'd definitely feel a bit subdued by this!

Riel: he rarely makes statements like this unless it's a joke/sincere compliment, so he'd be a bit surprised to hear that MC felt that way. But ultimately he'd just accept it, briefly apologize, and then move on, as with any well-intentioned social gaffe. It makes sense to him why MC would feel that way; it would make sense to him why he would have said otherwise. Very straightforward! It would be pretty much business as usual after that--he's glad that they communicated it to him and then doesn't think too much about it afterward unless they seemed really upset!

Chase: I like to think that he's emotionally perceptive enough to avoid making comments like this to an MC who was obviously uncomfortable with it, but YMMV, obviously, since he says it in the game! If they asked him not to, he'd sort of say something like, "Aw, sunshine, I didn't mean anything like that, you know we all think you're the cat's pajamas, that's all, it's not like we expect you to do anything or be perfect" and would try to explore their feelings about it and why they felt that way. Basically he would just try to clear the air or walk things back to make sure they didn't feel that kind of pressure moving forward or understood that he wasn't implying anything by the statement, then encourage them to just live their life without feeling the burden of these expectations. Then he'd move on and try to be more delicate in the future! Ultimately, he'd get it, he can see how being "the Hero of Haven" would be a lot of pressure!

Red: I think he'd quickly apologize, but would want to know more about why MC was feeling that way, what caused that reaction, etc. So he'd be interested in talking about it with them in more depth. He'd feel bad, of course, that he said something that bothered them, but I think his priorities would be more about understanding their perspective and maybe helping them with their discomfort/complex feelings about the whole thing than dwelling on the specific interaction that kicked it all off, if that makes any sense!

Ayla: I think her initial reaction to this would be defensiveness: she'd be a bit annoyed, because praise and compliments already come so rarely from her, especially being vocalized in front of the subject/other people, so to be "corrected" on something that's already difficult for her would be like, "wtf, I was just trying to be nice, I have confidence in you/I'm telling the truth, it's a proven fact that you're remarkable, what's so bad about that?" Kind of like a, Seriously? I'd kill for people to admire me and have faith in me and actually say so, what kind of person is like, 'Hey, I don't like it when you do that.'? And also hurt because she's trying and doing things that are pretty foreign/unusual for her (being vulnerable and sincere, giving praise), so to be 'punished' for that would make her feel like withdrawing. So outwardly she'd be a bit put-off and shirty about it, like "Okay, sorry, I won't say it anymore." *obviously disgruntled, not gracious and understanding* But I think after calming down or hearing someone else advocate for MC (like Briony going, "Well, I get it... can you imagine if you felt this pressure to save the day every time? MC's just a person, after all..."), it would click for her, she'd feel a bit bad about it, but she wouldn't feel the need to pursue it or apologize further and would just comply with MC's wishes moving forward!

Briony: she'd pretty much be the same as Shery, writhing in guilt and feeling horrible that she didn't consider MC's feelings more, but after they talked about it and she profusely apologized the first time, she'd be able to move on so long as it didn't seem like MC held any hard feelings or awkwardness about it! Ultimately she'd be glad they said something and would be extra vigilant both about herself and about correcting others if they happen to say things like that around MC! Like she'd start feeling protective and maybe over-conscious of MC's feelings!

Lavinet: she would be similar to Riel: because she meant it as praise, she would be surprised to hear that they found it off-putting or intimidating, but she would simply apologize and then move on without doing it again; it wouldn't be something she really dwelled on unless it seemed like it was a really big deal to MC, in which case she might discuss it with them intermittently moving forward, wanting to understand the exact feelings and reasons behind their feelings and wanting to encourage them in resolving them!

Halek: he's pretty much in Tallys's camp: because of his position in life, he'd be more conscious of not saying stuff like this in the first place, because he understands the pressure those kinds of expectations come with, even if they're reverent and well-intentioned! If he slipped and said stuff like that as a joke, then was asked by MC not to say it, he'd apologize and commiserate with them, then keep it in mind moving forward, being careful not to do it again!

[utilitycaster]

(this is tagged for it as well, but putting it here: the below involves some non-graphic mention/discussion of suicide in relation to episode 3x78)

I think it's important to keep in mind, regarding the most recent episode, that while Ashton's behavior was extremely dangerous and reckless, it was not suicidal in intent. Ashton thought it would work. They thought that they would fix things, and they ignored all the smart people warning them against it because it would imply a lot of negative things about their parents. That doesn't mean it wasn't an action taken out of a certain lack of self-regard (Ashton's realization of this is what drives much of his conversations in the first half of the episode); but it's much more akin to an accidental overdose, or a drunk/reckless driving, or other dangerous choices. It feels very true to the idea of punk that Taliesin is going for, in which dying young is always very much a possibility, even perhaps an expectation; but not necessarily a goal. Ashton did not expect taking the shard to result in their death, and is incredibly shaken specifically because it did.

With that in mind I think the party's reactions seem very real and very understandable. The fact is, when someone does something very risky and nearly dies (or even is briefly clinically dead, using real-world terms) but ultimately survives it's extremely normal for one of the emotional responses to be anger that they put themselves in such danger. It is not, perhaps, rational, but most emotions aren't. It hurts a lot when someone one is close to does something that harmful to themselves. I don't judge the other members of Bells Hells for expressing those feelings. Frankly, them not expressing similar feelings in the past might very well be why Ashton made the decisions he did: the party lacking trust and walking on eggshells around each other is why he didn't confide in them, and why they fell apart so completely here.

I think it's relevant that Chetney tells Fearne, after stating he likes Ashton, that either she or Ashton can talk to him if they "want out", and he pretty heavily implies that this indicates not just leaving Bells Hells, but suicide, and that he has considered the latter in the past. It's clear that initially Chetney considers that a possible reason for Ashton's actions. He then gives Ashton the "You should leave" speech only after everyone present has been talking at dinner, after Ashton has indicated that he will help find Laudna. It only comes out after Ashton's emotional state is made more clear to him: it's pretty bad, but not actively at risk of self-harm (and indeed, desperately trying to avoid it and to change).

Finally, it's worth considering how important anger is to Ashton. Obviously I don't think having Imogen, FCG, and Chetney yell at them feels good. I also think it's going to feel better than apathy, and more honest than any other option. I don't think a forced gentleness would be better; in fact it might be worse, with them taking a break because clearly Ashton is having a hard time and needs to recover (shades of how Marisha mentioned Laudna feeling like a burden following her resurrection), rather than "we are clearly all in disarray and all have been not dealing with a lot of emotions, and this could have been any of us, and we should all regroup." I mentioned before that ultimately what's important is, angry as they are, Bells Hells undeniably stayed, and FCG and Imogen at least made it clear early on that they would, even if they were angry. Ashton was abandoned in the past by people who weren't even angry, is the thing. I don't think they cared enough to be.

[kn-1013]

FTM Larry Headcannons

I really like FTM Larry, it's extremely underrated. Sal and Travis get headcannoned as trans a lot, but I think Larry should also have some transgenderism too. As a treat. Especially since this is one of those headcannons I can't easily make a story about, because there's not much plot to a story where the entire concept is "so Larry is trans". Not unless I did some kind of biography for him, but I'm not doing that. So here you go.

It's kind of an open secret, nobody really talks about it, mostly because Larry is 6 feet tall and knows how to throw a punch.

He was adamant about being a boy from a young age, frequently introducing himself to others as a boy. Lisa listened to this behavior and went with her son's self expression, eventually managing to use some rather shady methods to get him HRT a couple of years after he started puberty and his dysphoria skyrocketed into suicidality.

I imagine that being trans is about as common on Jim's planet as it is on Earth, and that his reaction was similar to Lisa's, as there was very little that would really make him want to fuck up the life he's made here. He did not go through all the effort of finding another habitable planet with Evelyn, then losing her in the process, nearly losing himself looking for her, and then having saved himself by Lisa, just to get mad that his daughter wants to be a boy now.

I also imagine that, with Jim's society being heavily implied to be a lot more advanced than that of Earth's, it might be much more acceptable on his planet to be trans than it often is on Earth, and that Jim may have been the one to help Lisa understand what was going on with Larry, since she might not have known about transgender people or otherwise might not have had a strong grasp of the subject.

However, Jim never managed to live to see the man that Larry got to grow into, of course.

Due to the shady and early transition, it was easy to get his birth certificate changed under the guise that he is a cisgender man who was simply marked as female through some kind of freak mistake.

While he has boobs, they stopped growing after he started HRT and as a result they're small and not bothersome unless he's swimming or something.

Juvy didn't really know what to do with him. They put him in the boys' prison, but he was kept fairly isolated, with his own room. He was bigger and stronger than a lot of the others in there, which was a plus, but he still had to be incredibly aggressive to assert himself and avoid harassment. Needless to say, he didn't make any friends there.

While people don't talk about it around Larry or to his face very often, many people have spoken about it behind his back, in hushed whispers. Though, nowadays, it mostly just feels like a baseless rumor more than anything else to most people, considering he's 6 feet tall and pretty strong. Not exactly what most people think of when they think "man who used to be a woman" or anything of the like.

Once Sal moves in to town, though, the rumors start shifting to him instead, and Sal almost never hears anything about Larry being trans. When he does, he assumes it's tangentially related to the rumors about himself.

Telling Sal that he's trans was a huge step for Larry, since it's not often something he talks about openly. Ash and Todd know, but only because they've both known him for such a long time. But Larry decides to take this leap, knowing Sal is incredibly unlikely to react poorly, and he does it because of what happened with Sal's prosthetic falling off that one time. That was a huge moment for Sal--having someone see him without his prosthetic was incredibly vulnerable for him, but now he knew he could trust Larry with that part of him. Larry came out to him to repay that vulnerability with his own, to show Sal that he trusted him just as much.

Sal, of course, did not react poorly. He instead reacted with intense curiosity and many questions, such as, "So do you get periods?" (yes) "Do they hurt?" (yes) "What's it like to have boobs?" (they don't do much) "Do you have a dick now?" (yeah but not in the way you're thinking) "You ever gonna get a sex change?" (probably) "So how does dating work?" (it doesn't) "What happened with juvie?" (it got complicated) "Does Travis know?" (yes) "What does he think?" (he doesn't if he knows what's good for him) "What was it like before the hormones?" (bad) "What was it like to live as a girl?" (bad) "Were you this tall before the hormones?" (yes) "Do you ever regret it?" (not even a little bit). Etc, etc.

Oddly enough, Sal can find himself relating to the feeling of mind-body incongruence, with the way he feels disconnected from his own appearance. It's different, obviously, but that ability to relate to that experience brings him closer to Larry and helps him understand better. Frankly, he thinks it's cool that you can just change genders if you really want to.

PMS and periods are a tumultuous time every month, bringing back dysphoria and negativity in his head, but it gets easier for him as time goes on and his transition continues. Luckily, Sal understands suicidality, mood swings, and depression very well.

Larry never got the chance to really get into dating, but if he did, he would probably be more into other trans people than any other kind of person (Sal/Larry or Larry/Travis notwithstanding). It's just easier to be with someone who already understands most of these experiences already than to have to continuously explain them to every cisgender person he goes out with.

I hope these are enjoyable. Come back for maybe more headcannons. Or don't.

[daradiostarzz]

Okay Hiii me back!! Time to talk about Book Enzo (Honestly the best iteration of Enzo) and an insight on him because I feel people look at book Enzo so one noted and it's very frustrating to watch so okay.

Context: The Book was where Nicky's friends were mostly introduced (This was during a time when SN wasn't considered part of the lore so no Finch, no Ivan and no Delroy and Leader, Brave and Detective were separate cause like Maritza and Enzo were hinted to be dark skinned mexicans) Enzo in the books was also very different in the two books.

Yes he IS a nerd he HAS nerd qualities but he was also had a very sharp tongue and will opp out of a conversation when Aaron is brought in as a topic. And book 2 is where Enzo stole alot of the show cause of his arc and turnaround and also his argument with Nick in chapter 7 and the iconic:

"Have fun alone." While Jackson 5 is blasting in the bg

He also did something somewhat of a prick move which was: ditching Nick & Maritza to instead hang with kids whom he had zero platonic compatibility with and allowing them to walk all over him (Like them giving him an embarrassing nickname) and though in the end of the book he does have a turn around and make up with Nick. Alot of people by that time see Enzo as a prick/mean girl/idk whatever u wanna call him. Ik 14 year old me did at the time till I reread it and started to be charmed and eventually now I usually tend to defend some of his actions of book 1-2 (3 I'll tab in a bit l8r)

Okay, let's start w the easy one which is Enzo telling Nick off in chapter 7 about staying away from Maritza & Trinny: In book 1 Enzo told Nick "Oh btw your neighbor cornered my sister and told her about her dead friend flying" and to which Nick then met up with Maritza irl by book 2 and the two shared a bond over them losing a close friend while amidst Nick falling out w Enzo. So let's go back to that first sentence in blue: imagine a friend of yours is friends with someone who the adult figure in their life said something pretty horrifying to a family member, to which you tell them about it & instead of that friend backing off that friend with the scummy adult figure they instead put your family member risking their life for investigating on that scummy adult figure behind your back cause they thought you simply just want to hide behind your tail and not confront the situation, and mind you. You and the friend are both 12.

Now let me say this: Yes it was somewhat scummy for Enzo to try and avoid it at all costs especially when Maritza was hurt he did not take into consideration her feelings BUT the situation could've been bad had Maritza been closed off to the topic about her two dear friends & being thrust into foregoing to investigate a man who said creepy shit to you by someone you kinda met through your brother. Yeah, Enzo HAD a reason for what he said about Nick staying away from Trinity and Maritza two people who he not only cares about but HAS HISTORY. I love Nick but it is stupidly dangerous how he set up 2 other kids to investigate with him and doesn't think of how DANGEROUS that is especially since in the books it is HEAVILY IMPLIED THEODORE ABUSES AARON.

This isn't a case of unreliable narration or the author forgot to add it in it's a case where the POV doesn't understand why the character feels like that way, it's Nick POV at the end of the day he doesn't have all the answers but it's hinted.

They're meant to be a parallel to their own fathers' how-to approach to an article on Theodore except switched on its heads. So yeah how do you expect a bunch of 12-year-olds to react to someone being kidnapped?

Aaron & Enzo: Okay in general this is something I always kept in mind about the books especially cause this was intended by the author:

Enzo and (the rest of the kids too not just him.) Are meant to be flawed so it's not a surprise personally he doesn't want to be affiliated with something as macabre as Lucy's death or the Petersons anymore and is again trying to cope (He's 12 his mind is at the end of the day still developing) but it just doesn't work. My only complaint was I wished we could've seen a scene where Enzo realizes Ruben and Seth didn't care for him. But with what we have I much rather have it be implied through Enzo not making it to the basketball team and finally Enzo and Nick making up and going to Miguel for help. Nick & Enzo CARE about the people they love they unfortunately butt heads over how to approach it with Enzo wanting Nick to do nothing while Nick wants Enzo to do something. They don't HATE each other I do not understand where that is coming from especially cause Nick was so quick to forgive Enzo even wanting to hug him like... They care for each other, they just clashed about how to approach a very heavy situation that will likely get police involved.

And as for Enzo falling out with Aaron, obviously, it's the Maritza situation I want to irritate though that yes Aaron isn't at fault Enzo probably with the influence of Miguel shaped his mindset that Aaron and Mya are people he should stay away from in order not to be sucked in by Theodore's toxicity (Cause that book they were all 10 and had brains that soak up like a sponge)

Okay time to talk generally about book 3: It's a very weak book that forces the characters to be written out of a plot for the final scene which was planned out. And though yes Enzo abandoned Nick (with like also Trinity and Maritza)

Oh right I totally forgot HNVR exist despite how book 3 seems to have written them not wanting to do with anything w Nick! let's all actively pretend book 3 never existed:

Okay, I'll try my only defense for him in book 3 is: Everyone was written stupidly for a forced conflict but I think cause as a reader I was desensitized to Enzo being mean it doesn't come off as left field for me as Trinity and Maritza also he was the last one to opp which again says alot. Also HNVR says otherwise let's pretend they realize how stupid they were and then wanted to apologize only for Nick to be missing let's say that (or pretend book 3 never exist)

So yes this is my gushing about the book Enzo and why I believe he's the most well-written character in the books and what I think alot of people tend to miss out... I wish Enzo was more studied on like this on the same levels as Ted tbh lol

I love these four... I will talk about these four... Please let me talk about their book versions of them so bad you have no idea how much I will go the 7 seas to defend them like a soccer mom.

[thelogicofikeandsoren]

Layers of Canon

"Is Ikesoren canon" is a much more complicated question than a lot of people will give it credit for, namely because of all of the different layers of canon.

Layer 1: Obvious Canon. These are the things that anyone playing the game could see from standard cutscenes and base conversations including but not limited to:

Ike prioritizes making Soren happy over doing his job (PoR 13), doing his job over looking at flowers (PoR 17), and looking at flowers over looking at women (PoR 14)

Ike finds Aimee off-putting (PoR 13 and 23, RD 3-2 and 4-1)

Soren and Ike worry about each other constantly and protecting each other, including but not limited to Ike placing himself in front of Soren to protect him from a tiger attack (PoR 8) and Soren lashing out when he can't follow Ike to fight the Black Knight (PoR 27) as well as the bond bonus.

Soren knows how to woo Ike (PoR 23)

Ike, in no uncertain terms, does not want to marry Elincia (PoR epilogue and RD)

Micaiah and Yune both refer to Soren as the boy who is always beside Ike (RD 4E)... Confirmed when fighting Ike as an enemy (RD 3-13).

Ike is not (just) oblivious to love (RD 4-1)

Layer 2: Esoteric Canon. These are things that require extra effort to see but are either implied to always happen or have no long term consequences. This includes the entirety of Ike and Soren's PoR support path as well as Soren's battle quotes with Shinon and Micaiah and escape quotes. Here we also add...

Soren being able to recognize tiredness on Ike's face through a small tic Ike doesn't notice and Ike compliments him afterwards (PoR C)

Soren expressing that Ike is the only person he can rely on and Ike assuring him he will always stand by him (PoR A)

"There's only one place for me to be, Ike, and it's by your side" (PoR epilogue, if A supported)

A warm core is melting Soren's freezing heart according to Micaiah (RD 3-7)

Layer 3: Uncertain Canon. These are things that most likely happened according to game preferences, but can be avoided. This would include Ike and Soren's Radiant Dawn supports and paired ending as well as any new game+ exclusive material. Most of the nature of Ike and Soren's relationship is here, including:

"I vow to remain by your side as long as I draw the breath of life" (RD A)

"My only wish was to see you again" (RD 4-E)

The support ending where Soren sets off with Ike and Ike was never seen again

Layer 4: Implicit Canon: Sometimes things that should be obvious are not spelled out, so a lot of the disagreement happens between these two levels. Here are some good examples:

When Micaiah talks about warm feelings, she means romantic ones because both her and Sothe, and Naesala and Leanne, whom she also uses the terms for, explicitly get married. Soren saying "do not presume to understand me" is a dodge, not a denial.

When Ike says Aimee "has issues with reality", that is in direct reference to her theory that he's (just) not ready to settle down.

All of the Aimee, Elincia, and temple handmaiden evidence suggests that Ike, at the very least, does not prefer women.

Because Ike and Soren are emotionally closed-off, them sharing a tender hug (technically also an inference but not a controversial one) says more than it would for the average characters.

Ike and Soren leaving alone together forever heavily suggests a romantic relationship.

Layer 5: Word of God: At this point, canonicity starts becoming more nebulous. This could include anything from side materials such as the art book, which says that "Ike's sense of how dear Soren is to him is renewed" and that "Ike doesn't care for the affections of women." Both are already present in implicit canon. But this makes them explicit, if only outside of the work.

Layer 6: Improbable Canon: These are things that are present in the game, but require you to make choices counter to the best narrative. This will include any of the death quotes, for which all of Soren's and two of Ike's reinforce how much they care about each other. The one-sided reading could potentially fit here as well, as so much of Ike returning Soren's affections requires them to have a paired ending (and special scene if possible), so the two less-encouraged Ike endings (and by extension, one DIScouraged Soren ending) could come across this way.

Layer 7: Soft Canon: Anything that is supported not by PoR and RD or their teams, but is supported by FE crossovers such as Heroes, Engage, and the Awakening DLC. And yes, this does mean that Priam is more nebulously canon than Ike and Soren's support ending. Sorry not sorry.

Layer 8: Non-Canon: Headcanons that do not contradict any official evidence but aren't supported by it either. While some people will have these to connect Ike/Soren to Priam and/or Soren's relatives, to speculate on their future, or to further characterize either, this is NOT necessary to think Ike and Soren are a couple in general. This would also include more general crossovers such as Smash Bros.

Layer 9: Counter to Canon: finally we have this set. These are definitively untrue based on level 1 evidence and the aggregation of levels 2-6, but people will use them for a variety of reasons from trying to relate better to the characters to write a what-if scenario to... My entire "straight Ike arguments" and "straight Soren nonsense" tags.

Conclusion: Ike and Soren having their primary relationship is layer 3 at worst, it being romantic is layer 5 at worst, and being adamantly opposed to it is level 6 at best and 9 at worst.

[mr-payjay]

big taco analysis ramble i did at like 3 in the morning last night

it's hard to know if Taco cares about Pickle or not because the letters are "instructions" which possibly implies they're cold. reaching for the portal and wanting a second chance could mean she wants to have another chance to win. repeating the same thing she did in s1 with Mic now could mean she just tries to repeatedly manipulate people over and over. it's difficult! because she is so. so. sooooooo closed off. she has lied so many times to so many people including herself to the point she has absolutely no fucking clue who she is other than "bad". she has aspd too so she doesn't feel much remorse. but at the same time she still cares. but!! that goes against her Badness. which she believes in. she "knows" she is bad, she's always believed she's a bad person and that's the only consistent trait she believes in. so she tries to avoid thinking about Pickle.

the closest she's ever gotten to loving herself was around mine your own business. because she started to care about Mic and hadn't realized it yet. but she didn't want Mic to Leave her. "I could stand to be a bit more open." she was actually trying to change her behavior this time, to ensure Mic stayed, even if it was subconscious (likely on purpose, in a way. trying to avoid Thinking about it because she doesn't like caring about people so she ignores those feelings and once again LIES to herself!!!!).

see what's so weird is that. at a first glance. it just seems like Taco is repeating the cycle. she teams up with a partner, she exerts control over them in some way or another, she befriends them to get their trust, and then eventually it fails. but the way she handled Pickle and Mic is. so so different.

with Pickle, her whole thing was advertising herself! she was trying to show themselves as a cute duo by being sweet friends with him, being silly and stupid for the audience, and controlling him very subtly mostly by heavily helping with certain challenges to keep him in the game or manipulating the audience rather than him. the big thing was Fake Friendship. and in the end, Taco left him. as she was planning to all along. it was a very self centered plan where Pickle was a sidekick to her that she used as a way to get further in, then dropped the moment she didn't need him anymore. doesn't mean she doesn't care about him though. but that's for later (if i can figure out how to word it).

now, with Microphone, her situation was completely the opposite in many ways. she COULDNT advertise herself! she put herself out there as much as possible in ii1 but in ii2 her entire existence is in hiding. she is not falsely befriending Mic to please an audience, but rather gaining her trust to use her as a puppet in a show she is no longer able to participate in. the way she controls Mic is much more aggressive than with Pickle. she's quite an angry person, it seems. anyway as you know, she tries to demand Mic do certain things (even if she is uncomfortable with them) and will reprimand her if she refuses to follow her plans. she kind of assumes everyone is stupider than her, including Mic at first. when Microphone manipulates Balloon using a better strategy than Taco had set up, she's impressed! she always expects that she's the smartest person in the room, Tricking everyone around her. this is part of why she sees herself as Bad while also being Superior. smarter and sneakier and cut out for manipulation.

anyway as time goes on she grows to actually trust Mic and see her as almost an equal, to the point she is willing to budge on things she would've never even considered changing before (such as being more open, actually listening to Mic's ideas, etc). she still struggles a lot with overstepping boundaries, such as in hatching the plan where she promises Microphone she won't physically hurt anybody and then immediately breaks that promise as they get on the ship because it's "necessary". it's not something Mic would understand, she thinks. she is just trying to get Mic further into the game. Taco doesn't seem to see Mic's discomfort either because she's very self centered, even if it is FOR Mic. Taco is trying to get Mic some praise and appreciation and a chance to win now. and that's what changes, that's what's odd. before this, she didn't actually care if Mic was getting Praised by the other contestants or not. she was manipulating and controlling her as best as she could, on her own. she didn't really care as long as she could get further in. and i would have a different view on this IF she didn't start talking about how good it must feel for Mic. because you could say it's so that the contestants wouldn't vote out Mic. but Taco didn't actually say anything about that. she was hoping Mic would be happy. she made sure the mission went as well as possible so that Microphone was clapped for and so Taco could, at the same time, feel good about herself for doing everything right and getting everything done Properly. her plan was Better than Mic's. it did everything right. they were both on the right path and now Mic was going to be happy and thank her for being oh-so-smart and would listen to her even more from now on. naturally that did not happen. Taco Wants to win. she wants the prize so, so badly. but in s1, she wanted to win alone. in s2, she wanted to win *with* Microphone.

[checked her for npd at this point and found it to be positive]

Microphone is someone who could actually be Taco's friend, someone who Maybe, would Listen to her Genuinely, and Want her around for once. Microphone wanted her to be more open and so she said she would be. she's far off from being vulnerable with anyone just yet but her heart aches for it. she's so lonely.

and especially because she deceives people so often, Taco ALWAYS feels like people love the mask but not her. when Microphone leaves her, it's like. impostor syndrome. she thinks that she's been deceiving herself all along into thinking she's Not a bad person. when clearly she is. because the only person she shared some of her Real Personality with, now hates her. so she must've been wrong to think she could ever be good, that she could ever be better than this, that someone could ever care about her. she's destined to be bad and she's going to accept that.

[uhuraprime]

I know that a lot of Trek canon heavily implies (/makes it clear) that Amanda put some measure of distance between herself and Spock in order to avoid sabotaging his Vulcan upbringing. It makes sense, but also I like to think she was just really good at hiding it.

And I like to think that Spock, who would of course notice how his mother only pulls him in for squeezing hugs when nobody else is around, would decide to let the woman indulge in such illogical yet harmless expressions of affection when she gets the occasional urge. He'd frame it in his mind like he was doing her a favor (though it wouldn't escape his notice that he always slept a bit more soundly after hearing her read aloud from an old Terran storybook).

It'd be a bit of a shock, naturally, when eventually Spock lived away from home — lived off-planet, even — and felt the absence of her tenderness so acutely. When he realized it had been a comfort to the both of them all along.

And the thing about joining Starfleet is that most of your colleagues are pretty tolerant people, which means they're going to be aware that Vulcans aren't exactly known for being tactile. That's a good thing, of course, because Spock doesn't want or need to be touched as frequently as most non-Vulcans do, but that doesn't mean he never wants or needs it.

I like to think that all of this would lead up to a perfect storm in one James T. Kirk, who just so happens to share Amanda's acute ability to strike a balance between respecting her son's very real Vulcan boundaries and honoring his (also very real) human needs. And just like with Amanda, Spock won't ever have to say it — or even really acknowledge it at all — if a hand squeezing his shoulder, or a voice telling him 'you're all right' is helpful sometimes. Jim will just know.

[thetragicallynerdy]

OFMD Season 2 Episodes 1-3 Trigger Warnings - Timestamped List of Suicidality

Hey folks, a friend asked me if I'd seen a list of timestamped moments in OFMD Season 2 Episodes 1-3 where suicide comes up, for people looking to avoid those parts. I hadn't, so I went through and compiled a list. Significant spoilers are ahead.

Please note that this only covers trigger warnings for suicidal ideation and attempts - it does not cover other possible triggers. Other triggers I can think of include drug use, the usual blood/murder etc, and a brief mention of sexual assault.

Suicidal ideation and attempts are very present in Season 2 Episodes 1-3, particularly in Episode 2. Please stay safe.

For this guide, I have bolded the timestamps (so that it's easier to see them if you want to just note the timestamps and avoid any mention of what happens), and included a brief description of what takes place in the scene, avoiding too many spoilers where possible. For several scenes there's a very brief warning, followed by "details", which gives more description for folks who might need them.

Again, please note that there are discussions of the suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, implied completed suicide that take place in the show in this guide. Take care of yourselves lovelies!

Episode 1

Overall episode warnings: All scenes with Ed's crew pretty heavily show Edward's declined mental health. There is one direct suicide threat.

16:00 - 18:55 - opens with Edward and Izzy, moves into Edward threatening the crew, then his own life. Details - from 17:45 - 18:10 Ed puts the gun to his own head.

24:00 - 25:30 - no discussion of suicide, heavy brief discussion indicating Ed's depression though.

Episode 2

Overall episode warnings: Again, all scenes with Ed's crew show his mental unwellness. Heavy themes of depression, and multiple suicide attempts throughout the episode. The second half of the episode are very heavy, particularly in scenes focusing on Ed/his crew, which feature consistent suicidality, multiple attempts, and one implied completed suicide. Every scene past 15:00 that contains Ed/Ed's crew contains attempted suicide.

00:40 - 1:33 - less direct, but implied suicidality. At 01:20 Ed tips a cake topper representing himself out the window into the sea.

15:20 - 18:10 - Ed, talking with Izzy. The entire scene has heavy attempt at suicide through another person, and a implied completed suicide at the end. More details - starting at 16:25, Ed asks Izzy to kill him/implies Izzy should (directly putting a gun in Izzy's hand to do it.) It is implied Izzy completes suicide at the end of the scene, but is later revealed he did not succeed the attempt.

18:10 - 18:34 - Frenchie offers to kill himself rather than Ed killing Frenchie. The scene ends with Ed steering the ship into a storm.

20:30 - 22:02 - this entire scene, and the rest of the scenes with Ed in this episode, are of Ed trying to complete suicide by sinking the ship and taking the crew with him, or goading a crew member into killing him. Details: He sails the ship into a storm, removes the wheel, and threatens to take out the main mast with a cannon.

23:20 - 24:48 - continuation of the scene above. At 24:25, there is a flashback that shows Izzy shooting himself non-fatally in the head (and failing to kill himself).

25:10 - End of Episode - continuation of the scenes above. It is implied Ed completes suicide through a crew member killing him. Details: Edward, just before being smashed in the head with a canonball held by a crew member, says "finally." Episode ends.

Episode 3

Whole episode warnings: continued suicidality from Ed, but in a generally more passive/calmer sense. Discussions of "should I keep going or end it all."

00:34 - 01:27 - A pirate captain, after being defeated in a raid, threatens suicide with a gun to his head.

11:29 - 12:45 - Izzy and Stede have a conversation discussing Ed's mental health, including implied discussion of suicidality. There is a flashback to Ed being 'murdered' by the crew.

12:45 - 13:53 - A discussion between Ed and someone, including themes of suicidality, and Ed's suicide attempt of sinking the ship.

17:18 - 17:29 - a series of flashbacks, including two attempts of Ed trying to get the crew to kill him from S2 E2.

19:45 - 20:43 - Discussion with Ed around "should i choose to live or die" and making a pro/con list for living/dying.

26:12 - End of episode - A version of Ed throws another version of Ed off a cliff into water with a rope tied around his waist. The remainder of the episode is Ed deciding to live or die.

[livealittleoc-cb]

As Fate Said

TW FOR MENTIONS OF HARASSMENT, IMPLIED RAPE, SEXUAL THEMES, ABUSE, HEAVY DARK THEMES, BLOOD, DEATH [PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING]

Ancient Egypt.

The pyramids were up high, pharaohs ruled and the gods and goddess were in complete rule. Within the confines of Astria gods and goddesses need to live a section of their life in human life to understand humans. In Egypt gods are heavily needed and sought out so even in human form they don’t hide like the Greeks or the Norses might. 

Wadjet the snake headed goddess known as the eye of the moon, with her oracle told of what was to come and what was destined by fate to happen.

Anubis, first son of Osiris, was destined for greatness. Keeping the balance of life and death and helping the other gods in the underworld keep the balance.

Set, the second son, was not so lucky. He was destined for corruption. Told that he was to blame for all the bad to come to Egypt and any other country.

He was shunned, harassed and went through constant hate from humans and some of the other Egyptian gods. He hated leaving, home was his safe place. He loved his parents and his brother, all three believing in his greatness, in his ability to change his fate and become a good god. But once this hate started spreading to them Set couldn’t handle it anymore.

He packed and ran away. 

He was 15 human years.

He wasn’t going to allow his family to get hurt because of him. So here he was, walking along one of the villages near the pyramids. He was famished and thirsty, unaware of how long he actually had been gone for. As he walked, avoiding people as best as possible, making sure his face wasn’t seen until he bumped into someone. A man. A beautiful one. 

Set looked up at him in awe before shaking his head and muttering a soft apology about to scurry away in fear. Until the man spoke. “I’m sorry there little one, it was my fault.” He sounded charming, alluring, safe. He shook his head a little before stepping back to leave again. “Wait. You look hungry.” That’s when he noticed the tail and ears on top of Set’s hair. “Oh? A god…” He looked him over before realizing who it was. “Ah, you’re Set, the destined god of calamity.~” Said man smiled at him and Set looked at him confused.

He wasn’t bidding him away or yelling at him for being a bad luck charm. He smiled at him and Set felt warm. “I…yeah. That’s me.” He said with a nod. The man nodded his head giving him another smile. 

“I see well, Set-”

“Please…Please call me Seth.” 

“Well Seth, come with me and I’ll feed you. You seemed famished and then you can maybe tell me why you’re so far away from the godly village.” He said holding his hand out to the boy. 

Set looked at it and carefully took it. He was led to a big building that looked to have many rooms. He told him why he was there and he was promised safety and a roof over his head. 

That was until he realized where exactly  he was.

At the cusp of 17 about to turn 18, Set realized everything. Everything clicked. The sounds of pleasured screams, men yelling, slapping, yelling.

He was put to work, cleaning rooms, changing sheets and all the stuff no one else wanted to do. One of the workers, Amunet, was a kind woman who secretly helped him do these chores.

That’s when everything started going downhill.

“Mahmoud, you are not doing this! You can not! He’s just a young boy!” 

“He’s almost 18 Amunet, you don’t see how the customers look at him. He can bring us good money.” Mahmoud, Set’s savior, as the boy addressed him, spoke as he shook his head. 

“You’re taking advantage of him! Of his nativity! You should have never brought him he-” A loud slap was heard and the woman gasped. She held her face in shock as she looked at him in disbelief. She glared at him before pushing a finger into his chest. “I hope the gods make you pay for all of this.” She snapped before storming away.

Once at 18 is when he started his training. 

“Seth my Kamilah [perfection]~ It’s a big day today.~” He hummed as he settled Set on his lap, lightly caressing his cheek and neck with his fingertips. Set shied away, Mahmoud frowning slightly at that before sighing. “Now I’m going to teach you your new position here.” His hands went to the boy's hips holding him down, unable to run away. “Starting today you are a worker here and my personal assistant.” He eyed him and Set's eyes widened as he shook his head quickly.

“No. No. I don’t want to. You…You never said anything about this when I first came here!” He said as he tried to push the man away. Mahmoud rolled his eyes as he grabbed his wrists and pulled him forward.

“That’s until customers started to ask for you.~ You’re pretty, Kamilah, I can’t blame them for wanting you. It took me this long to hold back from taking your innocence.” Set started to panic, chest heaving as he tried to wiggle away. This wasn’t real. It wasn’t happening. “Now, you’re going to be a good puppy for me and listen to everything I tell you.” He leaned close to his ear. “You know what bad boys get.” Set froze before tears started to roll down his eyes but he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t fight back, he let it happen and that simple fact made him feel even more disgusted.

That’s how it was for the last couple of months. 

Any time he was bad Mahmoud beat him, left him to starve, locked him in dark rooms with no interaction for days. He was purple and blue, mentally never really there. Being with the customers was one thing…but being with Mahmoud was different. Worse.

The brothel owner ruined him. 

At one point pain mixed with something else. 

With adrenaline. With a rush and tingle. With pleasure. 

He would act out just so the man would purposely hit him, he wanted to surge. The rush he got from being hurt.

He was disgusting.

Set was never allowed to wear gold. His favorite color. He wasn’t ‘pure’ enough for it. Mahmoud made sure to remind him about it every time he got punished, every single day, he was no longer innocent. 

Everytime after the punishment he got praise. He ached for that praise more than the pain. 

“You’re such a good boy, Kamilah.” Mahmoud said, caressing his cheek, tilting his chin up. Set’s swollen lips part as he panted softly. “You behaved so well, did so well for me.” His chest bubbled with pride at the words. “My beautiful Azizi [precious].” He melted.

He was so so disgusting.

Today felt…off. Like today something was going to happen. Set didn’t have any customers for the day and was changing sheets. He had been punished for the last couple days, not having eaten, his stomach growling in pain. Amunet sneaked into Set’s room as he arranged sheets, a bowl in her hand. “Hello my child.” She smiled softly as Set perked up happily and hugged her tight. Tears pooled at the corners of his eyes as she softly cooed him. She was basically his second mother and he was so happy to have her. “Please don’t cry little one. Here I brought you something to eat.” She smiled down at him and handed him the bowl. He gratefully took the bowl and ate from it. Normally Amunet came when Mahmoud wasn’t in the building and everyone had a little more freedom. 

Today was different.

He came back earlier and walked into the room. 

Yelling. Screaming. And then it happened. Mahmoud over Amunet, blow after blow as the woman cried and screamed. 

Something broke in the 19 year old’s head. He went to get a knife from the kitchen and the next thing that happened he plunged it into the monster’s back. 

He was seeing red.

Stab after stab. Blood gushed everywhere as the boy cried and screamed. ��Die! Die! Die!” Even after he was dead he kept stabbing him, years of trauma coming undone. 

“My child! Please!” Amunet sobbed as she moved behind Set. She hugged him back and calmed down. He dropped the knife and his mind focused. He killed him.

More tears fell from his face as he choked on sobs. Amunet comforted and tried her best to get him to calm down. She quickly started to pack their things, grabbing his hand and dragging him out. 

The oracle was right and fate came true.

He eventually got back home. 

His parents and brother were crying and happy to see him.

Everything became grim when he told them what happened. 

He was the reason Anubis became mute. It was his fault the world is the way it was. 

He was a mistake.

The god of chaos and storms hummed as he sat on his throne, in god form. He sighed, annoyed, wishing that he could leave and not deal with any more foolish offerings. He barely got any as it was. He blew a puff of his cigarette as his inky eyes looked at the human cowering below him. “You want me…for some sex thing?” He snorted before scoffing. “I’m not a sex god.” He growled as his clawed hand went down to grip the human's face making eye contact and blowing smoke into their face. “Pathetic.” He growled as the human shook. Set eyes them before laughing in their face.

Deranged. Crazy. Gone.

“How cute~ Hm, maybe I change my mind.” He let out another puff. “Let’s see your offerings and if I deem them good enough I’ll let you suck me off.~” He grinned, inky black eyes starting to pour golden tears.

Gold. Purity. Happiness. Divinity. 

It was a cruel joke. 

The last shreds of his innocence poured down his cheeks as his mind fogged.

Fate is cruel sometimes.

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[rulerzreachf4n7]

The day that people (specifically Lunter shippers) realize that Luz and Hunter are canonically/heavily implied to be siblings is the say I sleep peacefully knowing there's no more drama in this hellish community

...

AND YES I WILL BE WRITING ABOUT HOW THEY ARE TECHNICALLY SIBLINGS

Let's get on with it, shall we? It's relatively short since there's not much to it so that's good!

This whole controversy started in thanks to them in the scene where Luz said "You're family now, Hunter" and the whole damn community went wild debating whether theyre both siblings or not, which the answer is yes, they are, most shippers tend to use Camila's line "I can't believe I'm a mother of six",

Which if you had enough brain cells to notice you're extremely wrong, Camila sees herself as a MOTHER FIGURE to the hexsquad cause she's taking care of them, and not to mention people accusing Lumity as a sibship, which isn't true cause Camila knows they're both dating in the scene where Luz came out as bi and Gus started waving bisexual flags everywhere,

And by you're logic is that if Camila takes care of the whole hexsquad that automatically makes them all related/siblings, and here's the thing, she said six, not one, not two, not three, six, and you know who those SIX supposed "siblings" are? They are Luz, Amity, Willow, Gus, Hunter, and Vee, if you're smart enough to realize LUZ AND HUNTER are still there, and you're logic says ALL OF THEM ARE SIBLINGS, which means therefore LUZ AND AND HUNTER ARE STILL SIBLINGS WHICHEVER WAY YOU PUT IT,

Respectfully stop coming up with excuses and accept the fact they are canonically siblings cause it's not hurting anyone, found family is a good thing and it's not gonna kill you cause Hunter and Luz aren't dating

Come up with as much excuses as you want, you can read how Lunter as a ship doesn't make sense if you scroll down a bit! You're only avoiding the canon cause you're stupid ass can't handle a wlw ship XD

[loveephia]

nationals (oc drabble).

content: fluff, humor, implied kanoka x sakusa, suna being a wingman.

⚠ warning/s: none.

note: just a little drabble to get a grasp of niiyama's dynamic and sumire's character. :p

"get me out of here." sumire muttered shakily.

"but we just arrived!?" ririka screeched.

from merely a few meters away was inarizaki; the male representatives for hyōgo prefecture, and the second strongest volleyball team. everything about them was intimidating. who wouldn't be scared?

maiko facepalmed, "you're not even going up against them!"

"my life, my emotions!" sumire screamed with tears forming in her eyes, desperately trying to hide from inarizaki's members.

"man, the atmosphere here never gets lighter." jinko sighed. "right..? i can already feel my stomach turning." ayame said, relative to jinko's statement. satomi patted the two heavily on the back, "think of it this way; volleyball is just a more intense version of "don't let the balloon touch the floor"!" she tried to cheer her fellow third years up.

"that doesn't change anything except make volleyball sound stupid." shinju deadpanned.

"oh, c'mon, guys!" satomi cried out.

"nah! it sounded pretty funny, to be honest. it makes me feel a lot better, too." ririka said, "so thanks, tomi!"

kanoka kept writing her fears down on the face of her palm, eating every last one like they're candy. she was soon caught doing so by the other first place ace of japan, sakusa kiyoomi. kanoka's cheeks were pink from embarrassment. she hesitantly bowed her head at him as an unsaid greeting before shuffling away timidly.

"was that amanai from niiyama just now?" komori curiously asked sakusa as he nods. "she's grown a lot these past few months. i want to see how much she's advanced." sakusa stated.

"ooh, sakusa's interested in a girl? say less!" komori teased his dear cousin.

"i'm leaving."

"keiji, kōtarō, where are you..?" sumire struggled to find the two people dearest to her from fukurodani. in the midst of the busy crowd of powerhouses, sumire was weaving through each student with careful eyes.

sadly, not careful enough since she happened to have bumped into someone.

someone from a certain school she was avoiding.

"and it really just had to be one of the miyans, huh?" sumire mentally facepalmed, having recognized the number on his jersey.

atsumu turned around, and before he could even scold the poor girl, sumire was quick to apologize aplenty. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry! i was trying to look for fukurodani, and i wasn't being careful enough."

"please excuse me..!" sumire muttered sheepishly.

"hold on now," atsumu said, putting sumire's walk away to an abrupt halt. "yer from niiyama, right? i remember watchin' yer team play last year. you were all pretty good!" atsumu dropped an unexpected compliment.

what he said about sumire's team wasn't some kind of fabrication to get under her skin or anything. he was being dead serious. niiyama wasn't given the title "queens" for nothing, y'know?

"o- oh! thank you, miya."

"call me atsumu. can't have ya callin' me by my last name when i have a stupid pig fer a twin." atsumu said.

"wanna say that to my face?" osamu entered himself into the conversation, having heard atsumu's insult.

the twins started to bicker, and as sumire was about to slip away, suna's eyes were watching her with a look that said, "don't go yet. osamu wants to tell you something."

sumire shivered, so against her will, she stayed for a little while longer.

"you were looking fer fukurodani, am i right?" osamu asked, and sumire nodded. osamu pointed at a specific direction ahead. "they're over there somewhere, near some red team named nekomo."

"yer memory is rubbish. they're called nekoma!"

"doesn't matter. i was kinda close."

sumire expressed her gratitude toward osamu, who shook it off, saying it was really nothing. sumire then nodded at suna, who, like osamu, shook it off as well.

before sumire ventured off to find fukurodani, she snuck a small glance at kita, who was busy talking to the fifth strongest ace, aran ojiro.

"ah.. he's so handsome in real life." sumire thought with gleaming eyes and a peachy blush on her face.

once sumire was no longer within earshot, the inarizaki second years were left to ponder over the interaction they just had with niiyama's own second year. "do y'think i can get amanai's autograph from her?" atsumu asked. "man, at least befriend yahagi first before pulling a jerky move like that." suna said, going on his phone to scroll through whatever.

"hm.. yer right." atsumu said.

"hey, hey, hey, sumire! it's been a while, my pupil!" bokuto greets the girl with a warm yet albeit bone-crushing hug. "h- hey, kō!" sumire manages to stutter out from the pressure of bokuto's arms around her.

"your pupil?" akaashi said, "i'm pretty sure that i was the one who taught her how to set our entire junior year together."

"just let me have this moment, 'gaashi." bokuto sulked, still squeezing the life out of the poor libero.

when bokuto finally let the girl go, she made a beeline for akaashi and brought him into a calmer embrace compared to the ace. "keiji, i missed you a ton!"

akaashi planted a hand on top of sumire's head. "have the setting techniques i taught you been of good use?" he asked. sumire nodded, a determined smile on her face. "i've gotten really precise, too. you should watch me and my team play."

"will do. only if you reciprocate, of course."

"mhm!"

time skip.

the opening ceremony finished, and the first batch of games had finally set place. teams who frequently go to nationals are called "seeded teams", they don't have to play the first round and immediately advance to the second.

niiyama is a seeded team, so here sumire and kanoka are, walking around the venue to find themselves a vending machine.

"sumire, what kind of drink does shinju want again?" kanoka asked. sumire looked up from her phone and thought for a bit. "green tea, i'm pretty sure."

while kanoka pressed the buttons needed to obtain the green tea bottle, sumire felt a tap on her shoulder. she turned around and saw suna rintarō, the middle blocker who helped her find fukurodani earlier.

"oh, suna! do you need anything?" sumire asked.

"i looked over your shoulder and saw that you wanted a picture with our captain." suna bluntly stated, and sumire burst aflame at that, not knowing whether to feel embarrassed or what. "h- how—"

"he's nearby if you want one. i'll even help you ask." suna said.

"i—" before sumire could reject his offer, she thought back to hachi's words. with a sigh, sumire excuses herself momentarily from kanoka (who understood) and follows suna.

"why are you helping me, by the way?"

"there's no specific reason why. i just wanted to."

finally reaching kita, suna came to a halt. he looked over at sumire to see if she wanted to ask first, but at the flustered state she was in, there was no way a word would exit her mouth. "cap, this is yahagi. she wants a picture with you." sumire freezed on the spot. so straightforward!

"oh, sure." kita accepted.

"phone." suna commanded. sumire held her phone out and gave it to suna. "i take good angles. by the end of this, you might as well have the photo as your background." he reassured sumire with a thumbs up.

sumire stood cautiously next to kita. unfortunately, suna thought that she wasn't close enough since the space between the two felt awkward. "move a little closer to kita, yahagi." suna said.

sumire did as he said, but there was still something bothering suna. the atmosphere felt.. off. so kita did the unexpected and wrapped an arm around sumire's waist, whose face was now glowing a vibrant shade of red.

"say cheese." suna teased, finally taking the picture.

kita's hand was off the girl's waist, leaving sumire to calm down the rapid beat of her heart.

as sumire fanned her own face down with her two hands, she went and snatched her phone out of suna's slender fingers and ran away from the two inarizaki boys.

"you're welcome." suna cackled, though sumire could no longer hear the boy.

suna then glanced at the captain, whose ears were quite red. "what are your thoughts on my friend, captain? isn't she cute?" he asked, trying to get something, anything, out of kita.

"i.. did that out of the blue." kita said, referring to the part where he had an arm around sumire. "i need to apologize when i can." he massaged the bridge of his nose.

"who knew that kita could be so impulsive." suna thought, amused. "i got a good look at her phone number. if you want, you can text her your apology." suna offered.

kita merely looked at the middle blocker with a disappointed expression on his face. suna shrugged, "fine then, suit yourself."

sumire panted from the run, making it back to kanoka, who was still getting drinks. she sighed, going on her phone to go check the picture.

her eyes sparkled.

she sent the photo to the niiyama group chat and simply waited for their responses.

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[randomnameless]

Doro and Edel sorta come off as "let me be evil" while also asking the audience to pity or validate their actions.

I actually disagree.

I think both of them genuinely think they are doing what they are doing "for the greater good" or "for the people" because they're convinced of the "goodness" of their goal - even if the means to reach that goal are a bit... more messy than breaking 6 eggs to make an omelette.

And for Supreme Leader, I never thought she was the one asking the audience to throw a pity party or to validate her actions - it's the games themselves that twist themselves in a pretzel to completely dodge - and by dodge I mean jump to another continent levels of avoiding - all the obvious implications her actions lead to -

Sure, Supreme Leader was written by those devs and put in those games, but imo, with the way she was written, the character never asks for forgiveness or uwu - it's the game that serves it on a platter, Crust system? You have to piece tidbits of backstory and hear it from a DLC character that Miklan wasn't kicked out bcs no crust, but bcs he tried to kill his younger brother and has been busy "seducing" women with his merry band of dudes. Ditto for foreign royalty that will never be mentionned in relation to the "crust = nobility, if no crusts no nobles anymore" paradigm.

Which leads to really interesting stuff when Supreme Leader is in a game where she can be challenged (not counting Engage bcs for some reason no one knows, it's Dimitri who talks to Zelestia about a place where people can live together regardless of their race), Supreme Leader doesn't make excuses or brings the pity party, she's too stubborn (or too determined) to reconsider her path.

(Supreme Leader inherited Poor Dumb Willy's fierce will?)

The only time she sorts of tug at the player's heart string, imo, is with the revelation she had siblings and her infodumping her backstory to Billy - iirc in the C+ support, just when Billy got the SoC - but as some people theorised, Supreme Leader's supports are unlocked at key moments, and I really like how - if following this theory - some characters try to fool/manipulate/"gaslight" as young people say nowadays/trick the player -

I've said it enough times regarding the Nabateans and Fodlan in general, but i don't think I've said it regarding Supreme Leader : the worst character hit by the uwu hammer and Hresvelg Grey is Supreme Leader herself - if Supreme Leader has been able to be a "traitor" character à la Tales of you can side with in CF for a vilain route, or like Togame in Katanagatari - her goal first her feelings second, and her feelings are a means to reach her goal but then she falls in her own trap - or even Baten Kaitos's Kalas, I think she would have been one of the best and most memorable characters in the franchise.

But the waifu and uwu hammer hit her, and all those opportunities fell on their faces because the devs wanted a waifu first and foremost, controversial maybe, but at the end of the day, a waifu to pander to a certain demographic and plays on the usual and tiresome "only u can defrost the ice queen" trope.

As for Doro...

It's a bit more nuanced, I think Doro genuinely wants to help people, but Doro, due to her backstory (and maybe experiences in Mittelfrank?) wants to help herself most - securing a successful marriage to a wealthy "noble" (tfw Ignatz, who's from a super rich family, isn't on her list) and become the "friend" of the Emperor - who should represent - status wise - everything she hates about nobles, if Ferdie was so hated, then why isn't the Hresvelg Heir, the Imperial heir, isn't as hated? Because Supreme Leader didn't see her bath in a fountain? Did Supreme Leader tone down her "if the weak remain weak it's because they are too used to rely on the strong to survive" discourse around Doro, one of those "weak ones" who only managed to make a name for herself through bribes, heavily implied prostitution and countless hours of hard and gruesome work that will be ruined anyways when she gets "older" so that's why she tries to find a noble and rich husband asap?

I love messy characters, I hc Saias as someone who will see the world burn as long as he can serve his younger brother, and he has to reconsider everything when he learns 1/lil bro dgaf about him and would rather kill him himself + 2/lil sis is actually alive - but the Fodlan games refuse to do anything interesting with the BESF members, in FE8, Ephraim gets a wake-up slap by Seth about what is expected of him now, and what was expected of him then, so he has better polish his father's armor because playtime is over, there's work to do, and Ephraim realises how much of a fool he has been.

Doro will never reconsider (her support with Lorenz is very good in that sense - much like Supreme Leader, Doro is sure her pov and way are the only ones that work) her POV, her most ridiculous takes about "y church never helped people like me in Adrestia" or "military academy makes us fight real fights and kill bandits i thought we weren't in a fire emblem game :(" or even "why is the goddess making us fight like this sure i joined the imperial army who conquers the world and tried to kill you many times but if you attack us it's only bcs of the goddess :(" are never tackled, compare them to Lorenz thinking the church promotes isolationism and Claude correcting him by remembering Dedue and Petra exist(ed?) in Garreg Mach...

TL;Dr : I wouldn't say those characters spend their time going "sad uwus about my life" or ask the audience to validate their action - but that's what their games did, just count how many times (maybe only 1?) people vow to take down the mole people "for Supreme Leader bcs she was manipulated too :(" or the lol-tastic "can't we walk with her (and trample Fodlan)?" ; Supreme Leader doesn't even need to "pity" herself, the game does it itself by giving those "pity" lines to multiple other characters.

It can sound like it's the same thing, after all both Supreme Leader and Doro are characters designed to fit in that game, but it's a bit more nuanced, and it's that nuance - the game severing one of its limbs to prevent them from being seriously challenged about their opinions - that's actually really, imo, annoying. When characters like Dimitri or even to a point, Rhea herself, are dissected and held accountable/are challenged for the weather, the double standard really stings, and that's what pisses me off with these characters.