#;even though the possibility is impossible being that i'm not sexually active so there is no chance for there to be a baby

[quinkyace]

I am??? Now seriously broody and desperate for someone to put a baby in me please and thank you 😭

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

(The question I am asking is mainly from a perspective of having a vagina, but maybe it can apply to other genitalia as well)

How come I can't give myself a uti masturbating? Or can I? I got quite a few utis when I was a teen and no one was quite sure why (I'm fine now). I wasn't sexually active with other people, but I asked my doctor if it was possible to get a uti from masturbating without thoroughly washing your hands or w/e, and she said no.

I know that it's possible to get a uti from penetrative sex with either a penis or someone's fingers, because like it spreads bacteria from one hole to another and stuff. I've also heard that if you don't clean your sex toys/clean them with generic soap rather than the specific liquids, you can get a uti. So considering all this, I'm not sure why it would be impossible for me to give myself a uti? Isn't it the same as being fingered by someone else, as far as hygeine is concerned?

hi anon,

so, simple reason why you're much more likely to get a UTI from sex with other people than from having sex with yourself: they got different germs than you do.

whenever you come into contact with other people, no matter how clean they are, you're gonna get some kind of new germ introduced to your body, and your body might not take it very well. hell, you don't even have to come in direct contact for that to happen; there's a reason I almost always come home from conferences with a minor cold!

sex is considered a risk factor for UTIs - literally just any sex involving your genitals - because any time someone new gets up close and personal with your genitals there's a chance some of their new, funky bacteria could get into your urethra. your body is pretty good at knowing what to do with the bacteria that's already inside of it, but when you add some new stuff in shit has the potential to get crazy. for the most part, you're unlikely to introduce something totally new to your body when you touch yourself, whereas other bodies are bringing all new shit into the equation that's much more likely to trigger an infection.

having said that, I wouldn't say it's strictly IMPOSSIBLE to give yourself a UTI, since it's all a matter of bacteria. if you fall in the swamp and then fingerblast yourself without cleaning off, there's a huge chance your urethra (and vagina) won't like that very much! keeping your hands, sex toys, and anything else that will be touching your genitals clean is still super important!

you don't need to use a special toy cleaner, though; people who say that are mostly trying to sell special toy cleaners. the best method of cleaning sex toys depends on their materials; you can find a handy guide for that here, but suffice to say hot water and fragrance free soap will do just fine for silicones and hard plastics. the more important factor re: sex toy safety is making sure not to buy any toys made of permeable material that will soak up bodily fluids, as these are impossible to sanitize 100% and can foster the growth of bacteria and even mold in your toys, at which point a UTI is likely the least of your problems.

[bogkeep]

being in aroace education mode has me all fired up...... one thing i talk about a lot when given the opportunity is Deconstructing How We Think About Relationships - in short, if we put all of our relationships with other people into a pie chart the 'romantic partner' slice is likely to be a very small slice but gets a disproportionate amount of Relationship Infrastructure compared to other categories, such as vocabulary, rituals, attention and narrative scaffolding - entire systems such as dating / finding "the one" / break-ups / the relationship escalator, etc. on the flipside, 'friend' is such a vast category consisting of a plethora of different relationship, all ranging from Friendly Acquantaince to Extremely Close Childhood Friend You Share Everything With, but we have a lot less language and structure for how we think about these relationships even though many of them can be deeply important and intense to us.

the line between romance and friendship is really blurry, maybe even non-existent, but it feels like the way we think about these categories is that Romantic Partner is this one very specific, formalised box of a category, while Friend is a vast and vague landscape where anything can happen - and it's on this free real estate we have built structures like Queerplatonic Partner. the concept has probably existed since forever, along with many other different types of relationships throughout time and cultures, but it's our current attempt at having a Word for it.

are you with me so far? i want to write a blog post about Deconstructing Intimacy.

just putting a CW here that i'm going to say the word sex a lot and touch on the topic of sexual trauma.

one of the very thorny things about This Whole Topic is that sex and sexuality is extremely political. we just do not live in a world where there's any neutral ground to stand on regarding sex. every demographic comes with a lot of assumptions and expectations and moral judgement tied to sexuality. some demographics are desexualised, some are hypersexualised, some are Both At Once, and in addition to that there's lots of stigma, moralizing, pathologizing, and lawmaking. just a whole mess.

so all of That makes it kind of impossible to fully Dethrone Sex. and by dethroning sex i mean stripping it of the baggage it's accumulated in our cultures. Sex Is A Thing You Can Do With Your Body (And Your Mind?). this does not have to make it any less or more meaningful to you than what it already is. what each person considers intimate is very individual. many people find hugging completely inconsequential and will hug anyone at any time, and for some people a hug is A Lot. For some people, sex is a very fun and casual activity, and for others it's Sacred and carries a lot of meaning and a very close bond. sex is intimate - it requires trust and vulnerability.

it is not the only way to achieve trust and closeness, nor the only thing that requires it.

whenever i take the bus somewhere, i trust the bus driver to take me there safely. i put my literal life in a stranger's hands, but it's a very casual affair i don't think about too much. it's not an act of intimacy, just someone doing their job.

i think the way we talk about sexual assault as the evillest most horribly irredeemably worse-than-death thing, and sexual trauma as a unique kind of trauma amongst traumas, is... indicative. and please do not get me wrong, SA is a horrible thing in every way. it's a violation of trust, vulnerability and personal space. it's an abuse of power. those are the things that make it so horrific - but it's not unique.

an abuse of power, a violation of trust and vulnerability, can happen in so many different forms. emotional abuse, non-sexual violence, medical abuse, et cetera - i don't think it's possible to place trauma into a hierarchy from least to most bad. trauma can be incredibly complex and it's different for everyone. if one day the bus driver on a whim decided to drive off a cliff, i think that would severely fuck up my ability to trust other people to drive me around. if i trusted someone with my innermost thoughts that i have never shared with anyone else, and they used them to be cruel to me, that would severely impede my ability to connect with others.

i just... don't think it does anyone any favours to separate sexual trauma from all other trauma - making it seem like sexual trauma is The Worst Trauma Possible You Can Never Heal From, and on the flipside, make it seem like Well Your Non-Sexual Trauma Cannot Possibly Be That Bad.

TRAUMA TOPIC ASIDE, i think the concept of intimacy has a tendency to get flattened into just the one kind. there are many, Many ways for people to be intimate, many activities that require some form of mutual vulnerability or physical contact, but it seems like we're just very used to placing Acts of Intimacy into the Sexual category. kind of like a venn diagram where the two circles are Sexual Intimacy and Non-sexual Intimacy that are largely overlapping. but what if, instead, it's more that Intimacy is a really big circle, and sex is just one of the circles within it?

the way i think this slots into the whole Relationship Infrastructure thing is that We Like To Categorize Things. if we see two people being very intimate in a way that's not explicitly sexual, it's tempting to think ah yes they are in love AND they're having sex, OBVIOUSLY, because they are clearly capable of having that level of trust and vulnerability together. but what if they're not? does that devalue their relationship? does it make them any less close? these are very chewy questions to ask even without bringing shipping discourse into it, and i would prefer Not To because sexuality is political and there is no right answer.

another way this flattening can be frustrating is all the times non-sexual intimacy is treated as Sexual By Proxy. let's say, for example, you're telling a story, and all forms of intimacy within that story get read as metaphors for sex, despite your actual intentions. there's nothing wrong with using metaphors for sex, especially since Sex Is Political and sometimes we gotta be clever about the storytelling - but it can get very messy if people read sexuality between characters who don't have that, especially characters between which it would be very problematic to portray that. we gotta be able to tell stories about all kinds of close relationships, and surely it should be possible without bringing freud into it at every turn.

intimacy is context-dependent, i would say. a moment of vulnerability can be platonic or romantic or sexual or maybe something else depending on a situation and all the factors involved. human connection is an boundless spectrum, not just a couple boxes.

did any of this make sense? they're just my Thoughts, i'm not a scholar on this i just

[percynorthwest]

Jegulus microfic - doctor

2/5-2024 @jegulus-microfic words:~1060

cw:medical inaccuracies, pregnancy scare (ig?), complications, ectopic pregnancy

"And how long has the pain been going on for?"

"It started maybe two days ago. But it got so much worse this morning." Regulus replied. "And my shoulders started hurting too, at the same time," Regulus shrugged, "I don't know."

James could see that tried his best to keep his composure, but he could see the pain Regulus was in by his stiff posture and the constant frown on his face.

"And since then, it feels like I'm constantly on the brink of fainting."

The doctor typed quickly on her computer. She too had a quaint frown on her face. James held Regulus' hand, stroking his thumb over the back of his hand. Regulus hand was cold, more so than usual, and he was looking a tad to pale, all furthering James' worry.

James looked up to Regulus' face, and saw how he took deep, rhythmical, breaths, once again indicating of how much pain he was in. His eyes were closed tightly, and when he opened them, he blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. James understood how much he hated this; being so in the centre of attention; being vulnerable; in pain. James raised Regulus' hand to give it a soft kiss.

"And how long ago since your last period?" the doctor asked.

Regulus stiffened further where he sat on the plastic bed. This wasn't a topic Regulus was particularly comfortable with.

"Ehm, two years ago, maybe." He replied, still looking uncomfortable, "It kinda stopped once I got on hormones."

The doctor swirled away from the computer screen, now instead facing Regulus on her chair.

"Are you sexually active?"

James could see Regulus getting immediately red, before he answered with a nod. Then Regulus' frown deepened further.

"But I have an IUD, since like three years ago. And I'm at no risk of STDs or anything" He explained quickly with a now really worried look on his face, looking even more pale.

"It's still highly unlikely, but not impossible." The doctor explained, following Regulus' line of thinking. "I want to be on the safe side though, so I'm going to order some blood test, that will not only screen for pregnancy, and then I'd also like to order an ultrasound."

Regulus was certainly looking a lot more pale now, but he nodded along.

"Both the blood test and the ultrasound could indicate what's going on, not only whether or not it's a pregnancy."

Regulus looked just as worried, but he nodded again, maybe just a tad relieved after the doctor's reassurance.

When the doctor left the room, Regulus dropped his head back on the plastic bed, groaning out loud. James dragged his chair closer to the bed, wanting to support Regulus in any way he could. Regulus dragged his legs up, folding himself up like a ball. James placed a hand on Regulus' knee. He could hear Regulus' uneven breathing, making his heart break further. He stood up, bringing his hands to Regulus' face, cupping slightly and wiping away the few tears that had started falling down his chin.

A nurse or something akin to one, maybe a midwife, entered the room. Both James and Regulus startled slightly, and Regulus immediately wiped away any of the tears James had missed. James didn't sit back down again, wanting to be as close as possible.

"If you could just come with me," she said softly.

They followed her into another room, in the same part of the hospital. The room had stirrups, which made Regulus grip James' hand more tightly. Another nurse sat in the room already, and he seemed to be preparing blood tests.

Regulus was asked to sit down, and the male nurse took two vials of blood, while the other nurse prepared the ultrasound. After the vials were filled with crimson red blood, the male nurse left -thankfully, as Regulus probably didnt want more people in the room than necessary.

The whole procedure was quite quick. Regulus was asked to take his pants off and place his legs in those uncomfortable stirrups, and the nurse could quite quickly confirm that Regulus had a ectopic pregnancy, letting Regulus get down and get dressed again.

"What does that mean?" James asked after Regulus didn't say anything.

"The egg has been fertilized outside of the uterus," she explained. "In your case on your left fallopian tube. It happens to about one in 90 pregnancy, and if one is to get pregnant while using an IUD, the risk increases." Regulus nodded, seeming to be listening in. "I'll have to confer with the doctor, but either you will have to wait it out, under observation, or you'll be given medicines to stop furthering growth. There's also a surgery, if necessary."

She left in order to get the doctor.

Regulus turned to James, with a stern look on his face.

"We are never having sex again."

James immediately burst out in laughter, slapping a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound, so stunned by the exclamation. Regulus was looking straight ahead, but James could see a smirk creeping on his face.

Once James had managed to stop, he turned to Regulus again;

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly, looking intently at his boyfriend's face, trying to gauge his emotions.

"Pretty fucking bad." he said, laughing slightly, but James could see the look of anxiety on his face, as well as a few tears escaping his eyes.

Regulus closed his eyes tightly, and groaned loudly as he pressed the heel of his hands into his face.

"I mean what the actual fuck? This is barley supposed to be possible!"

James didn't know what to say, instead just stroking Regulus' hair, tucking a lock behind his ear.

"I don't know, baby," he murmured, placing a kiss on top of his hair.

"This is your fault, you know." Regulus said, dropping his hands in order to glare at James. "You're sleeping on the couch indefinitely."

"Sure," he replied warmly. He would probably sleep on the street if Regulus so asked.

Regulus turned on the bed, dropping his legs of the side, now sitting turned to James. His face was still slightly crunched up in pain, and tears framed his eyes. He leaned towards James, who immediately engulfed him in a tight hug. Reg sobbed quietly into James' chest. James stroked his back.

"Everything will be okay," He murmured, once again into the top of his hair.

a/n:

i don't have a medical degree or anything, this is from what i've been taught in school and what i've researched online, so this could possibly be incredibly inaccurate, probably most so regarding procedure etc.

[slaymitchabernathy]

A Christmas Miracle

| this drabble contains sexual content ;) |

My dearest Soarynn, I'm writing to you with the grandest news I could ever bestow upon you. All Capitol troops will be returning home for Christmas. We'll be permitted to stay for one week before returning to our base camp. I know you'll want as much time as possible to plan for my arrival, although I am confident in your abilities to arrange for proper accommodations to be made. We will arrive on Sunday and there is to be a dinner on Monday night to commemorate our fallen comrades. I do hope you're well darling, not a single day goes by without me thinking of you. I cherish the photographs and letters you send me with all my heart, and cannot wait to have you back in my arms again. I do not know when our train will be arriving, so please, check the train schedules frequently. You are a constant light in the darkness of the Districts my love and I am anxiously waiting for the day when we can be together without worry or fear. I will see you on Sunday, please take care of yourself, my darling girl. Love, Coriolanus

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn nervously eyes her reflection in the mirror.

Does she look okay? Is her hair too shiny? Will he think she looks pretty?

"You look beautiful Miss Soarynn," her maid gushes, setting the hairbrush down on the counter, "Mr. Snow will be head over heels when he sees you at the train station."

Soarynn blushes, she's always been complimented on her beauty but his opinion is the only one that truly matters. Still, she appreciates the kind words, goodness knows everyone could use a kind word or two in these dark times.

Two years ago, war broke out in the Districts again. Soarynn had thought it was impossible, especially after the last war ended with the Capitol on top and the Districts on the bottom. Her husband, Coriolanus Snow had assured her time and time again that another war was impossible.

For once he was wrong.

The war didn't make its way to the Capitol this time, no, it remained in the Districts, and in an effort to contain it, the Capitol began sending troops to the wilderness of the Districts. Coriolanus was drafted due to his family legacy, his own father had been a general in the first war during the Dark Days and he was more than willing to serve his country.

Soarynn was less willing to watch her husband board a train and possibly never come back. Even though he assured her that he was simply there along with the other troops to impose their presence, she still wasn't convinced. They had been newly married and trying to start a family, why couldn't he stay with her where it was safe?

Coriolanus of course, saw it as a great honor to serve Panem and promised to write to her once a week and if allowed, make phone calls. Soarynn thought it was ridiculous, they lived together and now they were getting excited over five-minute phone calls.

Still, for him to come home for an entire week after being gone for so long was a treat as great as any and she wouldn't be taking it for granted. She had filled their week with lots of winter activities leading up to Christmas. She had the maids clean the penthouse from top to bottom, wanting everything to be perfect for Coriolanus.

She went out and bought him some new clothes, and...some new lingerie for herself as well. They'd certainly be busy at night.

"I certainly can't wait to see him again," she murmurs, reaching for her compact, "one week isn't long enough."

Being left alone in the Capitol had been hard on Soarynn. She used to spend nearly every moment with Coriolanus and now, she was on her own. She had turned to extreme measures, turned to something that galas and tea parties could not fix.

She got a cat.

She knew Coriolanus wouldn't exactly be thrilled but she was desperate for constant companionship. She glances out into her bedroom where her cat, Petunia, is curled up on her husband's pillow, sound asleep. She hopes they'll get along.

Coriolanus was used to a house with just the two of them and Petunia is used to a house with just the two of them.

There might be a war within the Snow household this week.

But they'll barely be home with what she has planned for them. At least that's what she tells herself.

Soarynn inspects herself one last time, making sure there's not a single flaw in her appearance. She wore light makeup today since Coriolanus has always loved her freckles so much. Maria styled her hair perfectly, curling it and then pulling back some pieces to tie with a bow. Soarynn grabs one of her favorite perfume bottles, one that holds a vanilla scent, and liberally sprays it all over herself. She wants to engulf Coriolanus in her scent.

She rises from her vanity stool and makes her way into the closet, the closet that feels so empty without some of his clothes in it. He'll certainly be glad to return with some new ones and Soarynn will be glad to wear his old ones. She often sleeps in his shirts, clinging to the scent of roses and something masculine that she just can't get enough of.

"Red or blue?" She asks Maria, pulling out two dresses, nearly identical to each other. Maria inspects both of them, gently touching the fabric, "I think the red one Miss," she tells Soarynn who nods in agreement, Coriolanus has always liked red.

"Perfect, will you please go fetch my coat and gloves?" She asks, unzipping the dress. "Certainly Miss," Maria gives Soarynn a small curtsy before leaving to go get her things and Soarynn slides off her silk robe.

She only looks at her almost naked self in the mirror for a second, reminding herself how lucky she is to be standing in a closet full of clothes with a household staff at her beck and call. She could be in the streets, starving and cold but she's safe and warm.

The war didn't affect everyone in the Capitol like it did last time. She remembers the first war, the bombs, her parents both dying, how hungry people were. This war has been different.

Only the lower and middle classes have been truly affected by it. Food has become limited but not scarce, there are ration lines but only for those who absolutely need it and Soarynn isn't one of those people. By marrying a Snow, she solidified herself in the upper class, in the elite. Every once in a while there will be a shortage of strawberries or meat but it's always resolved rather quickly.

If anything, the war has been a great inconvenience for her, disrupting her normal plans. She still goes to tea with her friends, still goes on shopping sprees, still gets pedicures every other week. Coriolanus didn't leave her with nothing. He suffered from the first war too, losing both his parents and a good bit of his family fortune. He spent the next ten years building his name back up and now, he's one of the richest men in Panem.

With his investments, business ventures, and connections, he left Soarynn to live a comfortable life of luxury. And the Capitol pays him to be at war.

It's the best-case scenario for a thing like this but she still wishes he didn't have to leave in the first place.

Soarynn shakes those thoughts off and slips into the dress. It's a very flattering look on her with a boat neckline that shows off a bit of her collarbones. It's sleeveless but she'll have her coat and gloves and it fits her figure perfectly, stopping right below her knees to show off her white high heels. With her hair and makeup done perfectly as well, she makes for a picture of sophistication.

Maria returns with her coat and gloves and helps Soarynn into them. Maria has been a godsend to Soarynn who had been quite overwhelmed once Coriolanus left. She's younger than Soarynn but very mature, always helping Soarynn manage in taking care of such a large apartment. She'll occasionally accompany Soarynn to the market if she needs to buy something specific and is always a good source of advice.

Soarynn had hired Maria right before Coriolanus left and she's been a loyal servant ever since.

"We'll be back later tonight," Soarynn tells Maria while searching for the right purse, "he'll want bourbon or whiskey, maybe both. And please make sure that the bath has been properly cleaned as well. He'll have lots of laundry that'll need to be done before he leaves."

Maria nods along to all of her words, "Yes Miss Soarynn, everything will be ready for Mr. Snow's arrival."

Soarynn picks a black handbag, leather and beautifully crafted, a gift from Coriolanus a few years ago when they were engaged, "Perfect. I'll call if anything comes up."

Maria walks her to the front doors and Soarynn buttons her coat, taking in a deep breath, "Enjoy yourself Miss Soarynn," Maria kindly tells her, "you deserve to have this time with your husband."

Soarynn smiles, she's right, she ought to enjoy every minute with Coriolanus rather than stressing about everything being perfect. "Thank you, we'll see you tonight."

Soarynn makes her way into the hallway and waits for the elevator, living in the penthouse is all fun and games until you're stuck waiting for the elevator. Coriolanus will probably remind her of a time when the elevator didn't work during the first war.

He's been doing a lot of that, reminding and remembering about what he went through the first time a war was brought to the Capitol's doorstep. Soarynn wonders if it's some sort of trauma response.

The elevator arrives with a ding and Soarynn steps into it, pressing the button to bring her to the lobby. She ends up being stopped on the eleventh floor where Mrs. Dolittle gets in, dragging her white, yappy dog with her. "Oh Mrs. Snow, don't you look lovely? Say hello to Mrs. Snow little Zeus," Mrs. Dolittle says to her dog Zeus who only barks at Soarynn.

"Thank you," Soarynn says to the older woman, "and hello Zeus, are you off for your afternoon walk?" Mrs. Dolittle hums and places a hand over her heart, "We're off to watch all of the troops come home, some of them are being brought in by trucks."

Soarynn's interest is piqued, "Trucks? Coriolanus is coming by train, I thought..." Her voice dies off and she begins to worry, has the schedule been changed? Is he not coming home today?

"Your husband will be coming by train because he's important dear," Mrs. Dolittle says before Soarynn can begin to spiral, "the rest of the troops are less important, or to put it plainly, less rich."

Oh.

Well, Soarynn can't argue with that.

"I see," is all she says before the doors open up to the lobby. "Enjoy your time with your husband dear," Mrs. Dolittle pats Soarynn's arm, "and if you have time, tell Coriolanus to pay us a visit so he can meet Zeus."

Soarynn knows for a fact that he won't have time or want to meet Zeuz but she smiles all the same and promises to do her best.

Soarynn walks out into the cold December air with a newfound energy inside of her. She's going to see her husband again, and for an entire week!

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn is giddy with excitement as she slides into the backseat of their car, "The train station please," she says, fishing her compact out of her handbag. She might as well check her reflection one more time, just in case something on her face changed from the elevator ride.

For their first wedding anniversary, Coriolanus gifted her a beautiful gold compact with a mirror and power inside. The power is her favorite scent, of course, vanilla. There's a beautiful rose engraved on the outside of the compact and even though they were apart on their anniversary, he still made the effort.

Soarynn applies a little more powder to her neck before glancing outside the car windows and she's astounded at how many people are milling around the train station.

"Looks like the whole Capitol's here," her driver remarks. Soarynn scans the crowd of eager faces, most of these people don't look like her, rich, but they might still be waiting for loved ones to arrive.

Her driver gets her all the way to the entrance of the station so she doesn't have to walk, "I'll wait right here Mrs. Snow," he assures her.

Soarynn nods and begins to make her way inside the train station. The glass pane ceilings let the natural light shine in and it's shaping up to be a beautiful day. The platform is even more crowded with hundreds of people pushing and shoving. Soarynn walks over to the schedule that's been posted on one of the ticket booths and scans one last time for her husband's train.

A Peacekeeper standing guard notices her, "Are you looking for a particular train Miss?" Soarynn shakes her head, offering him a polite smile, "I wouldn't want to trouble you, my husband is coming home today from District Five."

"Who's your husband?"

"Coriolanus Snow."

The Peacekeeper's eyes widen from hearing that name, that so very important name, "Allow me to escort you to the correct platform then Mrs. Snow."

Soarynn looks back over at all the people pushing and shoving, it does look very busy over there but she wouldn't want to impose. "I don't want to trouble you," she says sweetly, "I'm sure I can manage."

The Peacekeeper must not have a lot of faith in her, "I insist ma'am, please allow me to safely escort you." Soarynn jumps when she hears some shouting and looks back over to see that a fight has broken out on the platform, "Well if you insist," she quickly agrees.

The young man to his credit, gets Soarynn to the correct platform in one, safe piece, clearing a path for them the second people see his uniform. Platform Five is much quieter than the platform she just saw and Soarynn sighs, "This is much emptier," she notes.

The Peacekeeper chuckles, "Those other people don't know how to act, that's why they're all the way over there and you're all the way over here."

Before Soarynn can say anything else, the sharp whistle of an incoming train gains her attention. She looks around at the others waiting, mostly women like her, eagerly awaiting the arrival of their husbands. The train slowly pulls into the station, too slow in her opinion but she's excited all the same.

"How long has it been since you've seen him?"

"Two years," she answers, trying to look into the train windows, "two very long years."

It feels like a lifetime but she won't let that stop her from continuing to love him from afar. The train doors finally hiss open and several women rush forward in search of their loved ones. Soarynn being more shy and timid, stays back, looking for a head of blonde hair. It seems that all the men are dressed in their uniforms, donning their hats and coats, making it harder for Soarynn to see Coriolanus.

She watches several tearful reunions and can't help but wish for her own. More men spill out, some are greeted, some are not. Soarynn has heard the whispers about divorces left and right due to men being deployed. She can't imagine separating from Coriolanus because he's serving his country.

One man with tan skin steps off the train and he's looking directly at Soarynn, making her feel very self-conscious. He looks into the train and says something, pointing at her.

Soarynn stands up straight, her heart is pounding and there he is.

Coriolanus Snow is stepping off the train.

Soarynn is a woman who prides herself on following the unspoken rules of etiquette. No screaming, no shouting, no running in public or arguing.

She throws all those rules out the window the second he lays eyes on her. She breaks into a huge smile and runs towards him, not caring how improper it is.

Coriolanus doesn't seem to care either as he grins, opening his arms up. Soarynn shrieks and throws her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest, content to never let go of him again. Coriolanus wraps his strong arms around her and she can smell the roses, smell how manly he is, and how much she's missed him. Coriolanus groans and squeezes her tight, "There's my girl."

Soarynn might just cry.

She pulls away just enough to see his face, his handsome face. He looks the same as he left, prominent nose, beautiful blue eyes, full lips with a smile that still drives her crazy.

"I missed you," is the first thing she says.

He kisses her a second later, not wasting any time showing her how much he missed her as well. Soarynn sighs into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck even tighter to deepen the kiss. It feels so good, so good to have his lips on her again. She didn't realize how much she took this feeling for granted until he left.

Two years without a kiss good morning, goodbye or goodnight.

They're going to have to pry him away from her cold, dead hands when this week is up.

"Soarynn," he says against her lips, "I might have to take you with me when I go back because I can't go without this again." Soarynn laughs into the kiss, it looks like she's not the only one who's been lonely. When they finally break away from the kiss, his eyes meet hers and they hold so much love, so much devotion, the need and want to keep her safe no matter what.

"Look at you," he says softly, resting a gloved hand on her cheek, "still so beautiful and radiant. You look gorgeous darling, absolutely gorgeous, I pity the men who didn't get to come home to you today."

Soarynn giggles and rests her head on his chest, wanting to be as close to him as possible. She lets go of his neck and wraps her arms around his torso, he feels so strong under all these layers, "I missed you so much Coryo," she tells him, "thought about you every single day you were gone."

She feels him place a kiss on the top of her head, another thing she's missed, how affectionate he is with her. "You have me for an entire week," he tells her, his voice laced with authority and yet completely gentle and patient with her. Soarynn hums, closing her eyes so she can remember this moment for the rest of her life.

She's grateful that he doesn't pull away, force her to move because she really doesn't want to. She wishes she could freeze time so they could stay like this forever.

"You weren't lying Snow," someone says, causing Soarynn to lift her head. It's the same man who was looking at her when he stepped off the train, "I told you she's beautiful," Coriolanus replies, kissing her temple. Soarynn feels herself blushing, she hadn't even thought about Coriolanus bragging to his comrades about her but it sounded exactly like something he'd do.

Coriolanus is a proud man, proud of his family, proud of his success, and proud to have secured a fitting match such as Soarynn. He's never shied away from boasting about her beauty, her charm, and femininity. Of course, he'd talk about her to his comrades, show off her pictures proudly.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," the man waves before walking down to the exit. Soarynn looks up at her husband, "Who was that?"

While Soarynn's letters to Coriolanus have included all the latest gossip and news, his have been more about how much he misses her and hopes for her safety at all times. Rarely has he mentioned anyone he's worked with.

"Lance Parkes," Coriolanus tells her, "we're in the same barrack."

Soarynn hums, she'll have to ask him about all his friends although she'll meet most of them tomorrow night. "How was the train ride?"

Coriolanus rubs her side, "It was fine, quite long but we were in first class so it was much more bearable."

Soarynn slips a hand under his coat, feeling the rest of his uniform, "You feel so strong, and you look so very smart in the uniform," she tells him, earning her a pleased grin. "Strong hmm?" He teases, making her giggle, "I should've known you'd ogle me the first chance you got."

Soarynn gasps, playfully shoving his chest, "Oh, please, you're the one who likes to ogle." He really is, Soarynn is more likely to silently admire her husband whereas he isn't afraid to make her put on a show for him.

Whenever they go shopping he has her come out and show him every outfit, praising her sense of fashion. And whenever she comes home with some new lingerie, well...she gives him a more private show.

"Well now that you've mentioned it, let me get a proper look at you," he says, loosening his grip on her, "give me a spin darling." Soarynn glances around the now barren platform, apparently, their reunion was longer than everyone else's so she doesn't feel too silly spinning around. Coriolanus lets out a low whistle and nods, looking her up and down, "You've got the type of beauty men go to war for," he tells her matter-of-factly.

Soarynn merely shakes her head, she wouldn't want to be the cause for any man to go to war, let alone her husband. "Where's your trunk?' She asks, changing the subject to something not about her. Coriolanus turns and points at the one trunk that's left, "I've come bearing gifts," he tells her, causing Soarynn's lips to curl up into a smile, "You don't say."

Coriolanus hums, reaching a hand out for her and she gladly takes it, "I've thought about you every single day," he continues, "thought about what you were doing, if you were feeling alright, if you needed anything." Soarynn's heart might just shatter into a million pieces, Coriolanus has been on her mind constantly but she always wondered if she was on his.

She squeezes his hand, smiling up at him, "Well we have a whole week together, so let's make the most of it."

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn has forgotten how attractive Coriolanus is.

For once, the roles are reversed and he is doing the shopping while she lounges on a sofa and sips champagne. He stands on a small pedestal, looking at his reflection in the store's mirrors that show him every angle.

He had written once or twice about outgrowing some of his clothing which confused Soarynn since he was too old to grow taller. But now, she gets it.

He's bigger. Stronger. More muscular.

His shirts don't fit the way they used to.

He looks very handsome in what the salesman selected for him, black pants, perfectly tailored, and a simple white button-up tucked into the pants. They're shopping for a new suit for him to wear to the dinner tomorrow night but finding a shirt to properly fit him has posed a challenge.

The salesman presses his lips into a thin line when he sees the buttons threatening to pop off, "Still too tight?"

Coriolanus offers him a polite smile, "Just a bit."

The salesman waves his hand, "An extra-large then, I'll have someone bring you the proper size."

Soarynn resists the urge to jump off the sofa and run into the changing room with her husband, it would be quite scandalous, and also bad manners.

"Where has he been all this time?" The salesman asks, raising an eyebrow, "I see hundreds of men every day in here but he must've been hiding under a rock." Soarynn chuckles, she doesn't mind when women or men flirt with her husband or talk about him in front of her, at the end of the day, she gets to go home with him.

"He's been deployed," she answers, setting her glass down on the small table, "he's back for a week and he's in desperate need of clothing that actually fits him."

"Well, I can see that, he's doubled in size from the looks of it, let me go look for a few more shirts."

Soarynn looks around the store while she waits, watching people come and go, everyone is doing last-minute shopping but she did hers weeks ago. Then she got that letter from Coriolanus and her entire world turned upside down. She had been so excited, she cried tears of joy, her husband was coming back to her.

For a week but still.

A few minutes later, Coriolanus walks out with a shirt that fits him properly and that cocky grin she's grown to love over the years, "What do you think darling?" He asks, holding out his arms while giving her a slow spin, "Do we have our base layer down?"

Soarynn does her best to remain appropriate when looking him up and down but it's very hard, especially with his big hands, and his big arms, and thighs and...she's getting distracted.

"I think we do," she answers with an encouraging smile. Coriolanus nods, "Perfect, let's move on to suit jackets then."

꧁ ꧂

Two hours later, Soarynn is strolling down the street with her husband and two large shopping bags.

"He was a good salesman," Coriolanus says, pulling her a little closer, "although I do believe he was flirting with me." Soarynn laughs, Coriolanus is as charming as they come but he's always had a hard time deciphering when the same gender flirts with him. Women he can pick up on in seconds, but men confuse him greatly.

Soarynn simply sees it as a compliment if both genders find you equally attractive.

"He was definitely flirting with you," she tells him, looking into a few shop windows, "you've got a new look and people are bound to notice."

Soarynn nearly trips when she sees the perfect little black dress in a boutique window. It's strapless and somewhat short but she knows that with the right heels, she can pull it off. One look at Coriolanus and she can tell that he's already picturing pulling it off of her.

"Why don't we go in here?" He suggests, his voice slightly hoarse. Soarynn wraps her hand around his arm and pulls them towards the door, "If you insist."

They're immediately greeted by an eager-looking saleswoman who has bright red hair and very long eyelashes, "Welcome, welcome! What brings you two in today?"

Coriolanus nods towards the mannequin wearing the black dress, "The black dress in the window would look stunning on my wife."

Soarynn doesn't even have time to blush because this saleswoman is grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the fitting rooms, "Of course, it would! You just go right back here dear and I'll bring you a few sizes."

Soarynn finds herself mindlessly nodding to whatever this woman says and walks into the first fitting room she sees. She doesn't even wait an entire minute before there's a knock on the door. She opens it to find the saleswoman holding three black dresses, "I brought a few sizes, although this one will probably fit you best."

Soarynn takes the hanger into her hands and nods, "Thank you very much." Part of her worries that this woman might try to come in and help her so she quickly shuts the door. Soarynn takes a deep breath before taking off her own clothes and neatly hanging them on the hooks in the fitting room. She steps into the dress and pulls it over her hips.

It would look great if she could get the zipper up.

"How's it going in there?"

Soarynn grits her teeth while fighting to pull the zipper all the way up, "Fine!" She calls back, using one hand to balance herself against the wall, "If you need any help just let me know!"

Soarynn almost falls over, "That won't be necessary!"

Three minutes later, she's sweaty and has the damn dress on.

But it does look very good on her.

Soarynn opens the door and peeks her head out, the coast is clear. She can hear the saleswoman yammering away outside, talking her husband's ear off. "...and that's when I knew gluten wasn't good for me and...oh! Oh, you look fabulous dear!"

Soarynn brushes her hair behind her ears, she isn't very fond of being the center of attention but neither Coriolanus nor the saleswomen can keep their eyes off of her as she steps in front of the mirror.

She can see Coriolanus watching her, a longing, lustful look in his eyes and she feels a boost of confidence, "You have the legs for that dress," the saleswoman tells her, "doesn't she Mr. Snow?"

Coriolanus grunts, fidgeting in his seat, "She certainly does."

Soarynn does a quick twirl and she smiles, "I'll take it." The saleswoman claps, delighted to do some business on such a busy day, "Wonderful! As soon as you take it off, I'll ring it up for you!"

Soarynn turns to go back to the fitting rooms but Coriolanus is quickly rising from his seat, "Let me help you with the zipper darling, she mentioned it might be tricky." Soarynn knows what he really wants and he could care less about the zipper, "Alright," she says sweetly.

They both walk back to her fitting room and he's on top of her the second she closes the door. Soarynn gasps when he pins her against the wall, his lips latch onto her neck, "Coryo," she gasps, "we're in a boutique!" Coriolanus scoffs and squeezes her waist, "I don't give a fuck darling, now turn around and bend over like the good girl you always are for me."

Soarynn would be lying if she said those words didn't do something to her. Something to her body that's gone two years without him. His touch, his lips, his hands, his cock.

She turns around.

Coriolanus bends her over and she braces her hands against the wall, "Coryo we have to be fast," she urgently whispers, not wanting to get caught. Mostly because she really wants this dress. Coriolanus chuckles and kisses right under her ear, "I'm just having a little fun darling."

He expertly unzips the dress and slides it off her body, letting it pool around her ankles and he palms her ass, groaning, "Fuck I missed you," he says, "missed this perfect little ass, your pretty little moans, how soft you are. You don't realize how bad it is out there for us darling, no women, surrounded by District scum, only our hands for a quick release."

Soarynn whimpers when he pulls her panties to the side, his fingers graze her clit and she bucks into his touch. She hasn't been faring but better in the sexual pleasure department but she has her ways, the shower head, her fingers, she's made it work.

But nothing is better than the real thing.

A knock on the door startles her, "Is everything alright in there dear?"

Coriolanus sinks two fingers into her cunt and Soarynn can feel her eyes rolling back. It's such a delicious burn after not having sex for so long and she might just cum right now, "Fine," she stammers, "it's, it's fine, I'm fine."

"Could you just toss the dress over the door then?"

Coriolanus reaches for the dress and Soarynn lifts her feet so he can grab it from the floor. He starts pumping his fingers in and out of her cunt and her knees buckle. Coriolanus catches her, holding her against the wall, "Be quiet for me hmm?" He says in her ear, his voice husky. Soarynn nods, biting her lip.

Coriolanus tosses the dress over the door and starts pumping faster and faster. Soarynn's toes are curling, her breaths are ragged. She's going to cum, very, very soon if he doesn't stop what he's doing. "Please," she mumbles, "please, please Coryo."

He peppers the back of her shoulder with kisses, so gentle in comparison to his fingers slamming in and out of her, "Still so good for me huh? Still remember your manners." Soarynn whines when his thumb presses against her clit, she cannot have an orgasm in a boutique fitting room.

Right?

Her walls start fluttering, her body starts shaking and the wire inside of her is about to snap, "Give it to me," he orders, "be my good girl and cum all over my fingers like the little slut you are for me Soarynn."

That's all it takes for her to fall apart. She lets out a moan but he quickly slaps his other hand over her mouth, muffling any noise she makes. Soarynn twitches as her orgasm rides out, it's so intense, so good after so long. She can feel the stickiness between her legs, she doesn't know how she's going to walk out of her but Coriolanus has already thought this through apparently.

He brandishes a handkerchief from his coat pocket a second later and makes quick work of cleaning her up to the best of his abilities. Her legs are still shaking, how she'll be able to look that saleswoman in the eye is beyond her. "You didn't, didn't get to..." Her voice dies off when she sees Coriolanus shaking his head, a sweet smile on his lips, "If I'm going to fuck you, then I'm going to do it properly," he tells her, "and in the comfort of my own home."

Soarynn lets him place a kiss on her forehead before he leaves to go pay for the dress. She puts her own clothes back on quickly so she doesn't raise any suspicion and joins Coriolanus a few minutes later at the counter near the front of the store.

Apparently, he's revealed that he's visiting for the week because the saleswoman has her hand over her heart, "...just the noblest thing a man could do for his country," she says, her eyes drifting over to Soarynn, "and leaving your wife behind? You're a national hero Mr. Snow."

Soarynn keeps herself from rolling her eyes, Coriolanus certainly has done a great service to his country, but being called a national hero is a bit of a stretch. Coriolanus, of course, loves it and grins, taking the pink bag off the counter, "You flatter me truly, thank you so much for your help today." Soarynn nods along to his words and wraps her hand around his arm, "Yes, thank you so much for your assistance."

"Of course! Stop by anytime."

They bid the saleswoman goodbye and step back out into the cold, Soarynn immediately curls into Coriolanus who doesn't despise the cold the way she does. Maybe it's because of his last name, but the cold has little to no effect on Coriolanus whereas Soarynn hates it with all her might.

"You should wear that dress to dinner tomorrow night," he says, leading them across the street. Soarynn gives him a skeptical look, "To a dinner honoring dead soldiers? I don't think so. Besides, I already have a dress picked out for tomorrow night." And she does, it's navy blue and makes her eyes pop. He'll love it because he loves everything she wears.

Coriolanus simply hums and holds her tighter, "Whatever you want darling."

Soarynn cherishes those words for she won't be hearing them in a few days. She ought to cherish every moment with Coriolanus while he's here, every single second is precious.

꧁ ꧂

Later that night, Soarynn finds herself in a most domestic position, curled up in her husband's arms, naked under their sheets. She used to dream about moments like this, hoping she'd wake up to find him next to her, only to wake up to an empty bed.

His breathing is slow and steady, instantly calming her after a long night of passionate sex. Coriolanus could barely keep his hands to himself for the rest of the day after their little stunt in the dressing room. They still had to go to several stores and then to dinner before they could come home.

Coriolanus was more than pleased to be warmly welcomed by his household staff and a clean apartment. He wasn't however, too pleased when he discovered Petunia lounging on his side of the bed, surprised to see a man in the room she thought of as her own.

There was a clear rivalry the moment they laid eyes on each other, especially when she saw how handsy he was being with Soarynn. She had hissed and swatted at him while Soarynn tried to calm her down and fix the rift between her beloved husband and cat.

She ended up removing Petunia from their bedroom so they could properly reunite and after several rounds of passionate sex, Soarynn was more than pleased with how the day turned out.

Coriolanus presses a hand on her stomach, splaying out his long fingers, "I was thinking," he mumbles in her ear, voice laced with sleep, "we should have a baby."

That gets her wide awake. Soarynn pushes her hips against his, causing him to groan since he has yet to pull out, "A baby?" She whispers, thinking about the possibility of finally starting a family with Coriolanus. They barely had any time after they got married, war broke out and he was shipped out.

It's not like they didn't want a family, the penthouse is huge with so many empty bedrooms. Her mind drifts down the hall to the nearest bedroom, vacant and begging to have a crib inside of it. He kisses right under her ear and hums, resting his chin on her shoulder, "Mhm, if it weren't for the war then I'm sure we'd have at least one child by now. And I've heard rumors Soarynn, they're starting to pull troops out little by little. I'll be home before you know it, and for good next time."

Soarynn's heart is beating so fast, the war is ending?

Part of her doesn't want to believe him, but Coriolanus isn't one to lie, he hates lying and anyone who does it. "Okay," she says, finding nothing wrong with his proposition. He's right, if Coriolanus wasn't deployed then they'd certainly already have a child right now. These past two years have set them back and she's not getting any younger.

He wraps his arms around her tighter and groans, "Good, because I'm convinced that I already fucked a baby into you."

They both laugh, knowing it doesn't exactly work that way but she's past caring about logistics right now.

Her husband is home and that's all that matters.

꧁ ꧂

Much to Soarynn's dismay, the next few days flew by in the blink of an eye.

She and Coriolanus spent every waking minute with each other, from the moment they woke up to the moment they went to bed, they were together. Their friends had teased them about it at dinner one night, how inseparable the pair was but Soarynn found nothing wrong with it.

She and Coriolanus belonged with each other. How could they not see it?

Even now as he opens a present from under the Christmas tree, it's so evident to Soarynn that he's the one for her. His strong masculine aura mixes perfectly with her gentle feminine one. While he's effortlessly charming, she's endlessly graceful, making them the perfect pair once again.

Coriolanus grins when he pulls out several pairs of white socks, the ones he's always been so fond of since Soarynn met him. He's always been one to value routine and tradition, never straying from what he trusts which includes socks. "You remembered my letter," he says with a laugh, setting them down on the floor next to him.

Soarynn nods, in one of his more recent letters, Coriolanus had mentioned how worn out his socks were becoming. Soarynn was no stranger to sending him letters but packages were a little bit trickier. They required an outrageous amount of postage to start, and there was never a guarantee that it would actually be delivered. She's sent a few over the past two years and according to Coriolanus, he's one of the only men who receives both packages and letters from home.

Soarynn truly can't imagine not writing letters to a loved one who's away at war. She writes him a letter nearly every day.

"I did," she agrees, "once I knew you were coming home, I ran out to buy you some new ones."

They both sit in comfortable silence while snow quietly falls outside of the living room windows. Soarynn watches the tiny snowflakes fall from the sky, doing her best to think about anything but what tomorrow will bring.

The train that will take him away from her again.

She can't help but begin to fear the worst, Coriolanus getting caught in the crossfire, a bomb going off and taking his limbs off, a trap being set just for him.

Which is highly unlikely from what he's told her. He's barely seen any real action, just a lot of angry people who he has to keep under control with a gun. When Soarynn asked if he ever had to use it on anyone, he'd gone quiet. This war still affected him despite him acting like it didn't. And Soarynn doesn't want him to go back to it.

She can feel the tears forming in her eyes, they've had such a lovely week filled with dinners, parties, and quality time together.

She doesn't want it to end.

"Darling," he says gently, "come here."

Coriolanus opens his arms out to her and Soarynn sniffles as she crawls over crinkled wrapping paper until she's crawling into his lap, burying her face in his neck. He immediately slips his hands under her nightgown and wraps his arms around her waist, holding her tight, "We'll be alright," he tells her softly, "I'll be back before you know it, and then we'll start our own little family. How does that sound?"

It sounds wonderful, like a dream come true to Soarynn who's been so lonely the past two years.

"Nice," is all she mumbles, not able to find it inside of her to act chipper when she's not. Coriolanus rubs his hand up and down her back, calming her with the smallest of touches, "I hope you know how much I miss you," he tells her, "how every night I stare up at the ceiling and wish you were there with me. You're all I have Soarynn, you've been the greatest gift."

Tears freely flow down her cheeks after hearing those endearing words. She doesn't know if this conversation is making his departure easier or worse. "I love you," she whispers, "with all my heart I love you."

She doesn't know how long they stay like that, curled up on the floor but it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters when she's with him.

꧁ ꧂

The morning of her husband's departure comes with heavy burdens for both of them.

Coriolanus, who must face what lies in the Districts once again, alone and without the comforts of home.

Soarynn, who must return to normal life with a smile on her face, and without the comforts of him.

They both fake it incredibly well to their credit, smiling at those they pass by as they walk towards his train. Just a week ago Soarynn was getting ready to come to the station, putting so much effort into her appearance. She barely even brushed her hair this morning since she planned on running right back home once he left to cry in bed.

Coriolanus hands off his trunk to a train attendant and Soarynn watches the man carry it onto the train, already stealing parts of Coriolanus away from her. She looks around the platform and is somewhat comforted by the sight of many other couples sharing tearful goodbyes.

At least they can all be miserable together is what she's concluded.

"Keep writing to me hmm?" He asks, nosing her cheek in an effort to make her laugh. Soarynn nods but can't find it in herself to laugh like she usually does when he's being so sweet, "You'll let me know if you hear anything else about deployment right?" She inquires for the tenth time today. She knows it must be getting annoying but she simply must know that he'll keep her updated with these things.

Coriolanus nods and rests his forehead against her own, "Yes darling, the second I know for sure I'm coming home, I'll let you know."

She rests her hands on his arms, feeling him one last time, "I'm going to miss you," she mumbles, her voice carries more of a tremor than she'd like but it's hard to act brave right now. Coriolanus leans down and kisses her, so sweetly and gently. Soarynn returns the kiss with her own gentleness for this will be the last kiss she's given for a long time.

"Be careful out there," she whispers, not pulling away from the kiss, "I can't go on without you Coryo."

He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her into his safe hold, "I will," he promises, pecking her lips once more, "and you take care of yourself hmm? I want you to enjoy yourself while I'm gone darling, spend time with friends, spend my money, all those nice things hmm?" A small smile forms on her lips and Coriolanus chuckles, "There's my girl, always smiling for me."

She knows this is hard on him too, to leave her, to willingly leave her behind goes against everything Coriolanus believes in.

But they'll be together again soon, she's sure of it.

The sharp train whistle pulls the couple apart, announcing that the train will be departing soon.

"Make sure to call me," Soarynn reminds him, clinging onto him for dear life, "and to write to me. And let me know if you need me to send you anythi-"

She never finishes her sentence due to his lips crashing onto her again, effectively shutting her up. Soarynn responds the way she always does, loyally and lovingly, letting him take the lead. Coriolanus brings his hand to gently cup her face while they share one last kiss.

Another sharp whistle from the train jolts both of them and they finally break apart from their last kiss.

"I love you," he tells her, looking down at her with those devoted blue eyes of his. So piercing yet soft and gentle when he's with her and only her.

"I love you too," she says, "and I'm so proud of you."

Coriolanus smiles, hugging her one more time and kissing her temple before he lets her go. Soarynn remains frozen on the platform while her husband strides towards the train, stepping through the door right before the train starts pulling away.

Soarynn waves goodbye with the other wives, with only eyes for her husband who watches her from the door. It's only when he's out of sight that she allows herself to properly cry.

She ignores the sympathetic looks she's given from the other women and trudges back to the car, alone this time.

She cries the whole way home and in the elevator. Maria seems greatly concerned but Soarynn waves her off, she'll be fine in a few days, she remembers being like this the first time he left. Part of her wishes she didn't have to go through this again, that he never came home but she's so glad she got to see Coriolanus again.

Petunia is still lying in bed where they left her this morning, pleased to have her spot back. Soarynn gives her a gentle scratch behind the ears, "Just you and me again," she says sadly. She ought to wash the sheets considering they had sex every night but she refrains from doing so, she'll wash them when his scent is no longer detectable.

Soarynn lies in bed for hours feeling sorry for herself and missing her husband, only venturing into their bathroom when she needs to use it. She walks past the countertops and then her vanity when she notices a small white box sitting on her vanity counter, wrapped in a red bow.

Soarynn reluctantly picks it up and unties the ribbon, letting it all to the floor where Petunia immediately takes it to play with. But Soarynn pays her cat no mind as she opens up the box, softly gasping when she sees what Coriolanus has left for her.

A pregnancy test.

And a note.

Never too soon to find out. Love, Coriolanus

Soarynn chuckles, they both know it's highly unlikely for her to already be pregnant but she appreciates the gesture. She holds the testing device in her fingers, "Might as well try," she mumbles to herself, walking to the small room where their toilet is.

It only takes a few minutes but Soarynn finds herself doing anything but looking at the results. She folds some laundry, fluffs out their bedsheets. Finally, she walks back into the bathroom and turns over the test.

She gasps when she sees two red lines.

She's pregnant.

Newly pregnant, barely pregnant, but pregnant.

She can't believe it. Coriolanus isn't even halfway through his trip back to Five and yet he's left her with a most precious gift. Soarynn rests her hand on her stomach, imagining what it'll look like in a few months.

She's pregnant!

She's going to have a baby. She's going to be a mother, he's going to be a father.

Oh, Coriolanus.

She'll have to write to him at once to deliver the news. She's only a few days along but still.

It's a Christmas miracle.

꧁ ꧂

To my dearest Coriolanus, I'm writing this hours after your departure. I simply cannot wait a moment longer to tell you the wonderful news that I'm pregnant! I know we spoke of it when you first came home but after opening the gift you left me, I'm proud to say that you're going to be a father. I will keep things quiet until I can visit the doctor but I just had to tell you. I miss you with all my heart my love, I pray for your safety and your quick return. Know that not a day goes by where I do not think of you my heart for you are all that I am. I love & miss you already. Love, Soarynn

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[chaifootsteps]

College Anon back after so long. Got swamped with, well, college and every time I came in, your ask box was closed haha! Forgot most of my criticisms because these shows are forgettable so sorry if this is disjointed.

Anyways, WHAT THE FUCK. The new episode is SOOOO bad. The jokes are bad apart from a few at the end, the plot is nonsensical and shouldn't have happened right now, the song is TERRIBLE. I made a whole rant in the YouTube comment section because I was genuinely so disappointed.

I had found Full Moon quite good from what I remember because, to me, it was so obviously pro-Blitzø and a turning point for Stolas... Yeah. I should have known I was wrong.

As for the HH leaks, I only watched episode 2. I'm disappointed that Lute is yet another female character centered around a man. I don't like that she's also in love with Adam. It feels like there's too much emphasis on romance instead of friendships and further entangles her with Adam, therefore taking away her agency.

Pentious... I love him! I LOVE that his story is about inaction. It's a great message but his inaction was so heinous that it justifies him being sent to Hell unlike Chidi from The Good Place who showed that they needed a Purgatory for neutral people. Pentious here NEEDED to go to Hell for what he allowed to happen.

I also think this explains perfectly why it's him and not Angel. Because let's be honest, Angel doesn't deserve to go up there. His crimes on Earth and in Hell are a lot harder, if not impossible, to redeem. Him becoming a victim does not take away from the hurt he and his family caused. He could help raise the fact that being sexual isn't a crime and that Hell pushes people to get worse, with punishment unfitting for their wrongdoings. But unlike Sir Pentious, he wasn't a good person and actively harmed people. It wasn't that he was pushed to it when he was a decent person before, he simply got worse and had his remorse disappeared. In the end, it makes the fact that Charlie chose HIM to represent her goal of redemption laughable because Pentious is, he was always so obviously The One. It makes Angel's jealousy and insecurity tragic, which I wish they would explore, because he was right. He SHOULD BE. He likely won't reach redemption or not as easily. Pentious was the one to help Charlie's dreams come true and bring change, help making the afterlife better. And, my God, that would be SUCH a good concept and arc for Angel, especially when he's in a toxic, messy, and deeply abusive relationship, in a job he loves and hates, struggling to make new friendships work as a new him.

I know none of what they set up will be used or used well but the premise is good and so when they introduce these things, it makes the episode good. It's just that what comes next isn't. Pentious crying at the end of the episode is heartbreaking. The jokes land (love Abel! Great foil to Adam, I wish they introduced Cain for funsies. Saint Peter (iirc) is also pretty funny. I like that Sera is the only competent person in the room, it explains a lot (esp when you could infer that Adam nudged her in the worst direction possible) and just works), the songs are nice, the visuals are promising. The story is meh but it IS character-driven and that's working.

That said, of course it's gross to use a real life situation as backstory even though it's become akin to a legend/myth. I think they should have had something similar, maybe inspired or a clear reference to it, but not the actual deal. People died! Thousands lived in fear! A little bit of respect please!

Also, I still hope that Adam is brought back for REAL. NOT shoved in as fanservice as I bet happened but as a genuine foil to Pentious and the idea of redemption. Something to keep angels accountable, something that proves God gives a fuck. Let there be an actual cycle. We KNOW angels can fall. Between Lucifer and the Cherubs, we have ample proof. C'mon this would give Vaggie an arc, development and a backstory. Adam is a genuinely funny character with lots of potential, his VA is AMAZING and his music genre slaps. Bring him back you cowards!

Last note: it feels like the songs are FINALLY finished. Unlike Season 1, it doesn't feel like a draft or like they're missing instruments or an entire part (often a bridge). I might be biased because I don't care about ballads and Lute's song shares a rock-ish sound with Adam, whose songs were the best of the soundtrack, but it feels like there's some improvement here.

If your ask box is still open, I might send what I commented on the lastest HB episode because I feel like it's a decent critic but whatever. Been a while, hope you're doing well and that you aren't as harassed as before by the shitty fandom Viv is cultivating!

Ahh, I apologize for the frequently closed ask box! I hate the thought of people coming in with something to say and being met with that, but as of this moment, it's pushing 1,000. But I'm happy to report that the Viv standom's been mostly leaving me alone!

These are excellent thoughts, definitely agree on the music -- it seems to be a pretty prevailing opinion -- and I hope you're doing well too!

[pynkhues]

“The only scene where they do it horizontally is when Louis' extremely depressed, so take that as you will, haha” — oh my God I never noticed this lol.

(…though to be fair, now that I think about it, he’s not exactly in the happiest, healthiest mindset for the sex scene at Antoinette’s, or the Dreamstat one either. It’s why 1x01 is still my favourite. We badly need more positive Loustat sex scenes 😭)

(…thinking about Louis more generally, there’s also the standing sex scene with Armand in 2x06, and Jonah giving him a blowjob while standing in 1x03 lmao.)

(x)

Yeah, I mean, most of them are kind of messed up, haha.

I actually do think it makes sense for Louis that it would be a preference / habit for him, and look, we could be getting into headcanon territory here, so take all of what I'm about to say with a grain of salt, but I do think the nature of his background and the era he's from means that sex standing up is something he probably perceives as safer / something he can better control.

It's easier to slip out and spring apart or run away from after all, and it's easier in part to control - particularly when you're the one crowding someone into a wall or putting someone on their knees (but not only that) - and I do tend to read Louis as someone who's had to do the former and likes to do the latter. I think Season 1 makes it pretty clear that Louis' been sexually active - he's cruising before he sees Miss Lily in the pilot, he obviously had a sexual relationship with Jonah when Jonah was young, he's familiar with the bayou as a relatively safe gay hookup site, his brother's bible thumping is as much about Louis being gay as it is about him being a pimp, and he, Grace and Florence all seem to read the situation with Lestat for what it is immediately, and Louis' willingness to not only do that, but move in with Lestat so quickly makes me believe he was never quite as closeted as he tells Daniel he was.

Still, he's cautious with Lestat initially, and I tend to interpret that personally as implying that Louis was involved in dangerous hook-ups and dynamics as a young man. I think he probably had consensual sex that was also fraught with fear at being caught, and I do read a possibility of Louis having, in his youth, been baited out under pretexts that were designed to catch him out, or at least having known men who were. I think that's added to by the fact that his social position being Black in the early 1900s, but also clearly 'Of Society', made anonymous sex virtually impossible for him in and around Rue Royale, and I think that probably has fed into certain sexual preferences.

There's physical leverage of sex standing up, but I also think that the capacity to move / spring apart / run if you have to feels in-character, and the way it features so heavily for Louis - as you said! Not even just with Lestat, but Armand and Jonah too - I do tend to read it as a deliberate creative choice, and at least in terms of my fic, I tend to write Louis as only really wanting to be lying down when he's in a place he feels safe (i.e. he's standing in Lestat's dressing room in Ungodly Hour, but can lie down and go to bed when they're back at Lestat's apartment, and - - yes. Features in the next part of Dogless, so I shouldn't spoil, haha).

It's interesting to me! Again though, take all of this with a grain of salt, it's just a personal interpretation.

[misc-obeyme]

Thank you for the slutty ramble! Of course I didn't think for a moment that you had a problem with it, but the idea of not finding nudity to be sexual inherently is fascinating to me, as well. I want to ask more questions about it from your perspective, but of course that's up to how comfortable you are with it! I get the idea of the body not being the sexual activation code per se, but it's different for everyone, right? Though I can imagine people being so caught up in lust that they don't notice the appearance of naked skin, I still can't help but think of being turned on by more revealing clothes, or even Lucifer in his Hawaiian getup rather than his usual swimming clothes, it's a bit different, like revealing more of yourself? I can ramble as well as you can see lol.

Ah, see I was like you probably didn't think that I personally had an issue with it, but it occurred to me that someone might, so I wanted to clarify just in case lol.

Anyway, all rambling is encouraged here in my ask box because I am the Rambler in Chief myself, so please feel free~

And I'm pretty comfortable with most questions, so I am happy to respond!

It definitely depends on the person. Attraction is a very complicated thing that is completely dictated by each individual's experience. So while I can speak on how I personally respond to such things, I would never be able to fully encompass everyone's lived experience.

In the example of Lucifer in the Hawaiian clothes, that does add a level of attraction for me. However, it's more about how we know Lucifer doesn't normally wear more revealing clothes. He's always pretty much fully covered up. So the fact that he would feel comfortable wearing something more revealing in my presence is what I find attractive. It isn't about the sight of skin, but about his comfort level, about our bond and relationship.

Of course it isn't like that for everyone. And unfortunately in our real world, slut shaming exists. And it usually centers around this idea that people who see a little bit of skin can't control themselves. (I say people, but let's be real it's usually men who are the culprits.)

This leads me to question whether or not seeing a little bit more of someone's body is actually a turn on or if it's just an excuse to police the clothes of women and femme presenting people.

BUT we can certainly put that aside since we're talking about fictional MEN here, for the most part (Asmo's fluidity aside and any headcanons regarding the rest).

Since we were talking about the angels specifically, let us frame it in the concepts that the CR may be considering when making their clothing choices.

It is possible that in the CR, the body isn't seen as inherently sexual. In such a case, whether or not sexuality is a sin wouldn't have an impact on how revealing their clothes are.

But if we assume for a moment that they realize they can't guarantee that other people who see the angels won't have some kind of sexual reaction, then there must be some other explanation as to why their outfits are so revealing.

One is definitely that they don't see sexuality or sexual arousal as a sin at all. (And it isn't, imo!) If they don't, then it doesn't matter if revealing outfits inspire sexual arousal in others.

But another explanation might be that they decide to put the burden of dealing with that sexuality and sexual arousal on the person experiencing it and NOT the person inspiring it.

What I mean is that if a human sees an angel wearing revealing clothes and is aroused, it's on that human to deal with it appropriately. It isn't the angel's fault the human is having that reaction. And the angel shouldn't have to restrict the way they present themselves based on whether or not some human might possibly have a reaction to it. I think the sin part comes in when humans act on their sexual arousal more than if they feel it. Because it's impossible to prevent such things entirely.

Of course, sexual arousal is just as natural as a naked body is. The problems arise when people believe that being sexually aroused by someone else means they're somehow entitled to that person's body. It isn't actually about the sexual arousal itself, but about the rights of the people involved.

I have a preference where I like to think the Celestial Realm is actually totally cool with sex and sexual arousal and all that stuff. So to me it just comes down to whatever the angels prefer. And who wouldn't like to have the warmth of the Celestial Realm's evershining sun upon as much of their skin as possible? But everybody is different, so everyone who plays the game will need to come to their own conclusions about it.

[godkilller]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

I will always ship Ginran above all else, but Aigin is lovely too and has some spice to it -- and I could be convinced to dabble in other pairings considering activity's been sparse from my shipping partners (not their fault, life's tiring and I'm barely here too!) and Gin's a social butterfly. I've opened my eyes to the potential for Gin and Izuru, but on my terms and not at all in the fanon's direction. Ultimately people shouldn't try to ship with me unless they're mentally prepared for their character to be constantly contesting against Rangiku in terms of their importance to Gin. As a sidenote; Shipping Gin with an OC is nearly impossible, as he requires knowing someone since the dawn of time to ever consider developing feelings for them, and I'm not too keen on people inserting their OCs into my character's past solely to avoid doing the heavy lifting of courtship.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

I'm not afraid of dipping into the toxicity of certain dynamics, nor am I one to ignore the cruelty that Gin can exude -- he's manipulative, possessive, and altogether a murderous obsessed freak. No amount of unconventional devotion can hide the darker parts of him, though I am also one to enjoy writing Gin experiencing and attempting domesticity and the softness that comes with it. I'm flexible.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

Shinigami age-gap discussions are tricky, especially the whole 'Tite forgot how old this person was / how ageing works' undertones with some of his characters (Hiyori is the same age as Gin????? Hello?), but basically I don't want anything to do with creepy shit, thanks. If Gin can comfortably punt your character into the stratosphere because they're snack-sized then he doesn't want them sexually or in any manner.

Are you selective when shipping?

ABSOLUTELY. Gin can get the ick, no matter how hypocritical he is for getting it, simply because your character didn't reply 'right' to his throwaway comment. Gin gets bored easily; if your character isn't as smart or smarter than him (and I mean that in a cunning / well-rounded way, not a 'this character knows everything that could possibly be known about the development of spoons throughout history' or some sort of thesaurus-vomit of them trying to sound super smart to him, he'll immediately become violently unimpressed he'd sooner gut himself with Shinso than finish a conversation with them) or your character is immensely weaker than him, then he isn't interested. Gin requires being challenged. Both Rangiku and Aizen challenge Gin pretty outright in different ways. Keep him on his toes, push and pull at him, make him want to pick you apart. Don't bore him.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

I don't tend to tag things until it's literally inappropriate if it was a visual medium instead. Kissing and clothed touching, even if in raunchy positions, aren't NSFW to me -- I expect everyone following me to understand my blog is an adult space. Tags won't come out till genitals get involved. If people read the written word 'nipple' over your shoulder from ten feet away and get you into hot water then you gotta tell me where they get their superior hawk-esque eyesight from, I'd like a slice.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

Just Rangiku and Aizen for now, but as I said before I am opening up to the potential for Gin and Izuru. Gin and Byakuya is hilarious, too, and I've made jokes in the past about Gin and Kenpachi. Pfft. It's hard to ship Gin with other female characters in Bleach considering Orihime's a human teenager, no thanks, and Rukia hates his guts and Gin clearly didn't like her either so it'd be a hateship purely, Harribel and Gin never exchange actual canon dialogue, Unohana is way older than him and probably thinks he's an amateur at murderous intent, the Zero Squad ladies only exist after he's canonly dead, Hinamori's a whole child and is traumatized by his Aizen-killing/not killing stunt, Tatsuki is a lesbian human teenager, Soifon is laughably a lesbian so pent up she might explode if a man ever tries to lay a hand on her, Yoruichi is too close to / complicit with Hogyoku-maker Urahara Kisuke whom Gin loathes for inspiring Aizen to steal a piece of Rangiku's soul, Nemu is too busy being Mayuri's... whatever the fuck, Isane would faint if Gin opened his eyes once at her, Hiyori is literally split in half by him and she's a literal child, Yachiru is a literal child, Lisa is also at least bi-woman preference if not fully a lesbian, Kukaku probably hates Gin's guts ever since he lopped off Jidanbo's arm at the gate because that's a sore subject for her, Kiyone is a literal child, Sung-sun is too boringly quiet and weak for his tastes, Loly isn't quiet enough and is too weak, Apacci is even worse, Mila Rose is on thin ice too, all of the Femritters are introduced after Gin's dead so we'll never know for sure if he'd even tolerate their girlbosses-don't-look-at-explosions-then-get-stupidly-defeated act, oh god who am I forgetting -- I want y'all to know I had to stop here to Google it and for some reason in the list of all female Bleach characters, somehow, Omaeda is on the list at the very bottom.... congratulations on your transition <333

Anyway long story short I don't think Gin's very compatible with the existing female Bleach cast, hence my various male/male ships instead. Gin's fluid. I acknowledge and approach shipping with the assumption that most if not all Bleach canons probably think Gin's gross or deplorable or both. But hey, I have a soft spot for writing enemies-to-lovers.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Yes because otherwise I'll just stew in the possibilities and assume it's one-sided and never bring anything up 'cause I don't wanna freak people out. But please keep in mind I am very picky because Gin himself is even pickier. You may be rejected ultimately, and it's really not something that's personal with me. A better approach would be the age-old, tried and true method of jokingly saying 'wouldn't it be funny if they caught feelings?' at me and then we spiral together from there. I'm not open for that currently, but in the future perhaps.

How often do you like to ship?

I kinda wanna only ship things if it's been earned -- we put in the work, things escalated naturally, and then we're exploring the dynamic thoroughly from there instead of just jumping to the juiciest parts first. I am a patient person, Gin is too, we're not about to pounce on somebody just because they stuck their leggy up real high. I'm a previously single-ship-only kinda guy, I yearn for that commitment.

Are you multiship?

I am duo-ship at the moment, with the possibility of opening up from that in the future -- so technically yes. I approach things though with a strict refusal to write cheating, so everything is a separate verse. Gin isn't sleeping with Rangiku and then tiptoeing to Aizen's room after, I refuse to do that sort of shit. Gin's all-or-nothing and so am I, so expect that if I ever do multiship -- it'll probably not be willy-nilly, I'll be severely selective.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Daydreaming about dynamics is my bread and butter. I'll be cooking up entire scenarios on my own while watching paint dry, my mind knows no limits and the links to musing posts/quotes/aesthetics/tiktoks that make me think of our characters together merely scratch the surface. If a ship hits right it consumes me.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

I'm a sucker for Ginran, Aigin, Ulquihime, Shunuki, Ichiruki, Grimmjow and anybody really, Ichihime, Mayuri and permanent death, Ishihime, Rangiku and genuine happiness, whatever the ship name for Urahara and Yoruichi is, Aizen and touching grass instead of committing atrocities. I could be down for Gin and Izuru, I also think Kenpachi and Byakuya make a funny / cute pair. I'd also die for the ship I have with @madestars with their OC Hotaru and Gin's daughter Keiko.

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Hit me on the head with a brick irl.

tagged by : @despairforme

tagging: @dokuhai, @keikakudori, @madestars / @rejekshun, @gyakusama / @owabisuru, and anybody else!

[capricious-stars]

Ohhh since this is an option~

If Boss' partner were to try to set up a sexy/romantic thing for him to come home to, what would he like most? (Eg. Come home to a spa treatment with said partner joining him in the bath. A trail of rose petals to the bedroom.)

Is Boss more of a one partner kind of man, or does he enjoy having a little collection of his own? and when it comes to more... active time, does he prefer one on one, or does he like all of his choices at once (if he goes for more than one)?

Does he have a preference when he's flying solo? Is he always a man's man, so to say? or does he let out his feminine side?

Was his first time special beyond being that, or was it just that first time then move on?

I thiiink this is long enough for a readmore?  Idk.  Browser mobile is hard </3

•If Boss' partner were to try to set up a sexy/romantic thing for him [...]

oooh good question.  Hm.  Music and strong smells annoy him, so neither of those, but subtler smells, like maybe a perfume/cologne they know he likes being present?  He would honestly love spa treatment type stuff, a chance to unwind and be together, the lights in the bathroom dimmed down, just the two of them.  That, or finding them in his bed, lights low, wearing nothing but his collar, oh that would certainly do things to him.

He’s not big into cheesy shows like flowers or candles or lingerie, but if his partner is, it just makes him fond really.  I think depending on desire result, he just wants the opportunity to worship his partners body and be with them.  Although coming home to a clean and tidy apartment more than anything is the best place to start haha

•Is Boss more of a one partner kind of man [...]

So, generally I'm inclined to say he’s much more monogamous leaning.  It'd be difficult enough for one person to get to meaning that much to him, let alone...any more than that lol, and he’s also a bit possessive, so it'd be unlikely for his partner to be the catalyst behind another partner entering the picture.

But.  That being said, it wouldn't be impossible.  Though he still likely wouldn't be one to have too many partners.  That's simply too many liabilities, too many weaknesses, too many people to protect and risk the stability of the family over.  But possibly two, certainly no more than three... 

And if it did ever come to that, he would absolutely prefer to have all of them the majority of the time.  One on one would be important sometimes, just to really solidify their individual connection, a sort of sexy check in, if you will.  But generally he'd much rather have both partners present, just...because. <3

•Does he have a preference when he's flying solo? [...]

So.  The thing is – I'm gunna make this sad real quick – he has really significant trauma regarding his "feminine side".  Not exactly sexual in nature, but he absolutely abhors anything "infiltrating" his magic.  Even having an IV is very stressful for him, even if it was super medically necessary.  So definitely just "masculine" on that front, even alone. :(

•Was his first time special beyond being that, or was it just that first time then move on?

Absolutely just a hook up that meant nothing.  He literally just did it to find out and then was like "huh. Overrated" and moved on.  He learned what he needed to, and it wasn't bad or anything, but apart from being a good way to blow off steam and help him get his magic regulated, he doesn't really actually have much in the ways of libido in a typical sense!  At least not until romantically invested, and then he’s- well.  A very attentive partner, I'll put it that way lol

[transmutationisms]

sorry if this is not a question you like to be asked/topic you want to discuss. but how do we bash back against the ‘lgb drop the t’ people and other terfs? genuinely, like, do we just ignore them? is it possible to have a productive conversation?

honestly i'm not a strong debater, esp in a face-to-face context where i don't have the opportunity to revise and rephrase my arguments in writing. i also think it's generally pointless to argue with people who are avowed transmisogynists / general transphobes. there are obviously many different ways people come to embrace actively anti-trans politics (as opposed to the level of passively accepted transphobia that just exists as part of the social background) but ime often this hinges on a flat refusal to take seriously the idea that social positions and entities (like 'cis' genders) are immanently socially and historically contingent, and that defying a birth identification is therefore no less legitimate than performing it. i am always willing to talk to people who have questions about principles of a constructivist argument, but i've found it's a waste of breath to try to convince someone of this type of position if they're simply unwilling to even engage with the notion that their social realities are actively constructed and maintained rather than being immutable and transhistorical truths. in the case of 'drop the t' types specifically, this often takes the form of the 'born this way' narrative deployed to 'defend' cis lgb people---because again, any notion of sexuality involving agency or active choice would also be disturbing to this genre of transphobe. ime these essentialist positions are also why so many transphobic arguments will rapidly expand and reframe into broad attacks on 'postmodernism' and specifically name foucault (this is also a condemnation of the way liberal academics understand and use his work, lol). also worth noting that many many transphobes are openly operating with a politics based on their own personal disgust and discomfort, and though i might simply point out to them that personal feelings don't dictate political or social realities, my experience is that arguing someone out of a disgust-based prejudice or opinion is virtually impossible. like, these are not 'rational' arguments; they're ex post facto justifications for a reaction to trans bodies and lives as aberrant and perverted. i think it's generally more productive to focus on preventing harm (like, is a trans woman being ostracised or denied housing or starving for lack of income? can you do something to rectify that?) and making transphobes' positions as marginal as possible by just shutting them down. but again, i'm not a good debater! so maybe someone else has a better strategy for countering these people.

[bimboficationblues]

i haven't read that molly smith book but just from my knowledge of marx your analysis looks wrong to me. i'm aware of two places where marx claims that wage labor is forced labor: the 1844 manuscripts and capital volume 3. i'm going to assume you don't care about the former, so for the latter: "We saw also that capital -- and the capitalist is merely capital personified and functions in the process of production solely as the agent of capital -- in its corresponding social process of production, pumps a definite quantity of surplus-labour out of the direct producers, or labourers; capital obtains this surplus-labour without an equivalent, and in essence it always remains forced labour -- no matter how much it may seem to result from free contractual agreement."

by my count, you are actually succumbing to the appearance that wage labor is the "result of free contractual agreement". marx uses the word "seem" here, and when he does that it tends to mean that it is appearance and not reality. so he's explicitly saying that wage labor is not consensual ("the result of free contractual agreement") but forced labor. as far as i'm aware, we just refer to forced sexual labor as rape. you claimed in your post that this isn't the case so please elaborate

"it’s a framework that can’t distinguish between tricks that were okay or fine to deal with and times where you were physically assaulted or actively manipulated" i don't find this persuasive because, as a student of republican theory, you should know that it's perfectly possible to even have *literal slavery* where the master is benevolent and labor under him is fine compared to labor under a harsher slavemaster. yes, slavery and wage labor are different, but they share the trait of being forced labor, which i think is what matters here. when marx talks about the formal freedom of the wage laborer, that's clearly meant to show that bourgeois notions of freedom (which, it seems to me, is what's being alluded to in the previous quote to distinguish good and bad tricks) are impoverished, the "double freedom" is obviously supposed to be sarcastic/seething and implicitly contrasted to some sort of a real freedom to be realized in communism

obviously, marx didn't want to criminalize sex work, but i'm not seeing how the inference that sex work (or at least FSSW - stuff like pornography is something else i guess, whatever we would want to call forced picture taking/video taping) is rape isn't accurate under his analysis. he and engels regularly disparaginly reffered to prostitution as the "community of women" and they disparagingly compared marriage to it, in both cases making a point about how the normalization of it causes people to have instrumental views of women. marx calls prostitution just one instance of the "general prostitution of the wage laborer", which isn't meant to imply that prostitution is nonproblematic but rather make other wage labor look problematic

I don't really agree with a lot of the assumptions you're bringing to the table here (your interpretation of Marx or that quote, the necessity of being in agreement with Marx or Engels [lol] on all things, the relevance of these points to what I'm talking about, the presumption of my intellectual obligations to anonymous people) and I think maybe reading that Smith & Mac book (or even something more in-depth/less targeted for a popular audience) would be a worthwhile use of time.

again, it's not like it's impossible to use more effective and clear language on this - there's nothing that obligates us to talk in the terms you're defending. is it "violence" for me to have to go to work? did it transform into "sexual violence" when I was doing sex work (or did it lose the sexual because it was virtual, as your parenthetical implies)? maybe! (though probably not, imo.) but I think talking about the weight of money and the market on our reasoning using moral-juridical shorthand has significant costs analytically (clarity, precision), politically (the entire trajectory of this idea as applied in the history of prostitution law), and ethically (in terms of evaluating and taking stock of our actions and harms). in fact the whole reference to pornography sort of troubles this particular narrative (paid sexual labor is rape when it's in-person but not when it's virtual or filmed, despite being produced by the same incentives?), which I think relies on the same idea of sexual labor as unique/mystified compared to other labor that I was criticizing. I'm not pushing a "sex work as empowerment" line here and never have; most other current or former sex workers I know wouldn't. but this is a framework that doesn't clarify, it obscures by reinforcing criminalization and stigmatization, and makes it actively more difficult for sex workers to talk about the range and depth of their experiences in the context of their needs and demands as laborers, both in their own struggle and as part of a larger struggle. it is ethically and politically worthless as a line of thought.

anyway I think this is all quite condescending and in poor taste.

[crvwly]

For kiss roulette: 11, a kiss to the neck

(cw: drug use mention)

"Quite the bacchanalia, eh angel?"

Aziraphale practically jumps out of his skin at the whisper in his ear. He twists to look over his shoulder at Crowley, grinning ear to ear in a knowing way that brings a sheepish flush to Aziraphale's cheeks in record time.

"Crowley," he greets simply, ignoring the bait and looking forward again. "I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

"But I very much should," Crowley says, slinking around to stand beside him and lean into his personal space, grin growing impossibly wider. "And am. What on Earth could bring such a pure, divine being as yourself to a Festival of Bacchus? There's nothing here but drunken revelry and a sexual free-for-all."

Aziraphale keeps his gaze steadfastly ahead, even as the blush on his face starts creeping down his neck, even though Crowley is leering so closely that his breath is warm and incredibly distracting against the shell of Aziraphale's ear.

"Precisely," Aziraphale says, proud of the way he keeps his tone level. "These sorts of events tend to get out of hand."

"Ah," Crowley says, quirking a brow and tilting his head. "Killjoy cover - pretty good."

In his peripheral, Aziraphale sees him lick his lips. He fights the urge to shiver. "I beg your pardon?"

"Oh, nothing," Crowley says, slithering behind Aziraphale to his other side in a way that shouldn't be possible for his human-shaped body. "It won't be as transparent to them as it is to me. They don't understand these things the way we do."

Aziraphale stands straighter, looking dead ahead. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"I only mean," Crowley says, smirking, "that if anyone asked of your whereabouts tonight and you needed a cover story for indulging in a festival of intoxication and ecstasy, preventing humans from engaging in the more intense activities that can culminate of these events is... pretty good."

"But I'm not indulging, am I?" Aziraphale says, daring a glance at Crowley just to raise an imprudent brow at him.

A mistake, of course; the fire illuminating the grounds bathes Crowley in soft light, cheeks and nose rosy from the wine and warm weather. He's wearing his hair in plaits wrapped around his head like a crown, a fashion popular with the young women of Rome for now. Aziraphale admires the way Crowley attempts to keep up with their trends, taking bits and pieces of them that suit him and hoarding them like treasure; like the jewellery the Romans find so fetching this century, the same rich yellow as Crowley's eyes.

The Romans do so covet amber, he would say, if he were braver. Do they admire your eyes that way, the same way I do?

He swallows hard and looks away again with an odd, tight feeling in his chest. "I imagine you are? Indulging, I mean to say."

"In the drink, certainly," Crowley says. "The rich cult that throws the sex festivals makes the best vino in the country."

"But not...?"

Aziraphale's gaze falls on a couple getting amorous beneath a tree, hands roaming over each others' bodies and open mouths clashing together, and looks up and away with his face burning as if his interest is suddenly taken by the stars. He's not easily embarrassed, and certainly not by sex in general; it's trivial, it's human, until it's being discussed with the one being in all of creation who knows exactly how to get under Aziraphale's skin, who introduced him to the pleasures of a different kind of flesh, and who seems, for some reason, to have a vested interested in Aziraphale indulging.

"Nah," Crowley says, looking out at the scattered sea of writhing bodies partaking in the evening's festivities. "Demon, humans... just doesn't feel right. Tempter of the original sin, and all. Gets weird when I think about it too much."

"I suppose that makes sense," Aziraphale says, returning his gaze to the Earth and wishing for some kind of breeze to cool himself down; he ought to have brought a handfan, but he always forgets how balmy Roman summers are. "So you're just here drinking and..."

"Soaking up the debauchery," Crowley says, his grin renewed. He leans back and takes a deep breath in, finally giving Aziraphale more than an inch of space to himself again, and lets it out with a sigh of satisfaction; if it sounds a bit more like a moan than a sigh for a moment, it's really none of Aziraphale's business. He was probably imagining it in the first place. "Oh, it's like nothing else. You ever try opium?"

"Just the once. I wasn't a fan of the come-down."

"Remember those wavessss of euphoria," Crowley says, hissing as he tends to do when he's intoxicated and tipping his head back like he's basking in the indecency of it all, "that hit you at random? No rhyme or reason, just ecstasy - that's what it feels like here, if I let all wash over me properly. All of them, lost to pleasure, getting off on the idea of seeing each other get off."

Heat curls in the pit of Aziraphale's stomach and he swallows, mouth suddenly dry.

As if he can tell - good Lord, can he? - Crowley brings his head back down and smiles at Aziraphale, teeth showing in a way that ought to be threatening but only stokes the coals of Aziraphale's interest.

"But there can only be one weirdo lurking in the corner and watching at these things, you know," he says, stalking around Aziraphale and leaning over his shoulder to speak again, voice lowering. "Now there's two of us just standing about, sticking out like sore thumbs. Being the clothed ones at the orgy can draw unwanted attention."

Crowley's lips brush his ear with the final word and Aziraphale's heart thuds against his chest loud enough he's certain Crowley must be able to hear it. If he can, he doesn't comment on it.

"Over by that frisky trio in the bushes, see him?" he says instead, nodding toward the stranger in question, who's giving Aziraphale a suggestive look. "He's been eyeing you this whole time. If he thinks you're available, instead of just watching, he might come seeking your attention."

His hand comes up to skim a touch across Aziraphale's shoulderblades, a ghost of a caress where his wings would be, and Aziraphale realises he lost control of this interaction quite awhile ago and has no desire to get it back.

"How would you suggest I make myself appear... less available?" Aziraphale murmurs, tilting his head in the slightest, an offering he hopes doesn't go overlooked.

Crowley's hand drifts back from his shoulder to his neck and a pair of slender fingers curl around the collar of his tunic, gingerly pulling the fabric aside so Crowley can dip his head and press his lips to the base of Aziraphale's neck, hot like a brand against his skin. Aziraphale's eyes fall half-shut and he bites back a groan, head tipping further to the side as Crowley kisses his jaw, nosing at the tender spot beneath his ear.

"Something like this might help," Crowley murmurs against his skin. "Is he still looking?"

Aziraphale glances back to the stranger, who has decidedly lost interest and is now pleasuring himself to the sight of the frisky trio in the bushes.

"Yes," he lies, shutting his eyes.

"Good," Crowley says, lips grazing his jaw again. "I've got a few other ideas."

[sentientgopro]

On the topic of transness and the whole aroace thing. Idk if I can be of particular help, while I personally am allosexual and alloromantic (I think), I have a weird relationship to attraction (and gender) and I'm also polyamorous, so generally outside of the norm for how attraction works. Plus, I have several connections (partners, friends, a sibling, etc.) who are on the ace and/or aro spectrum. Which is why I had way too many thoughts on this topic, unfortunately none of them scientifically backed. I'm not a sociologist, but interpersonal relationships are somewhat of a special interest for me.

I'm warning you now, this is probably gonna get messy and long (even though I'll try to keep it as short as I can), but I like sharing.

This point might be the most relatable and applicable to your situation. I have a friend who used to identify as agender and asexual (don't remember if also aromantic, it's been years) who then realized she's a trans woman and a lesbian, which was very surprising and weird for her as well. The way she rationalized it was that within her own self-perception she couldn't see herself as someone who would be in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone else, but gaining more acceptance for herself and her own identity, the idea of her being someone who loves and is loved seemed more realistic and desirable. She's not 100% sure either, though. But there is a possibility of internally rejecting attraction as a sort of self-defense mechanism due to a lack of self-acceptance. That doesn't invalidate aroace identities, but I think both of these ideas can and do coexist.

It may be important to also remember here that first of all, both asexuality and aromanticism exist on a spectrum and secondly that they refer to attraction rather than behavior or desire for tangible circumstances. Asexual/aromantic people can still enthusiastically participate in sex/romance, the main point is that they don't experience sexual/romantic attraction for specific people (or only under specific circumstances if we move around on the spectrum). My longterm partner is asexual (but not aromantic), but will participate in sexual activities with me because they love me and it's a pleasurable activity. They find me aesthetically attractive, and may even find certain behavior or body parts arousing, but they're not sexually attracted to me as a person. In fact, sexual attraction doesn't even cross their mind unless prompted. Another more recent connection is aromantic (but not asexual), but doesn't mind participating in traditionally romantic activities and physical non-sexual affection with me, but just doesn't experience crushes/romantic attraction towards people. The entire concept seems a bit hard to understand for them. They "love" me, but conceptualize it mostly as very strong platonic feelings, as far as I can understand. (At this point it might be good to note that I have the most ironic luck at finding partners/connections as someone who experiences very strong sexual and romantic attraction.) My sibling is on the aroace spectrum, but still desires companionship and partnership (cupioromantic has been used as a label before, but not consistently). Romantic and sexual attraction are all just very wibbly wobbly weird concepts in general, just like gender, honestly. Nothing really matters ultimately, but also it kinda does? It's all very silly how much importance society puts on these things, especially when you deviate from the norm.

You asked "Are there different kinds of romance?" and I raise you "What is romance even?". To date I have not been able to come to a conclusion or been given a good answer to that. Ask 10 people and you get 10 different answers. As soon as you divorce the premises of sexual attraction and monogamy from romance, it becomes nigh impossible to even start to define. For a lot of people these seem to be defining factors of romance (as opposed to platonic love). In fact, my current running theory is that romance, on its own, is a social and cultural construct (especially if you look at historic conceptions of it). Nevertheless, romantic attraction is still a feeling I experience, and it feels different than strictly platonic love or even sexual attraction. Best I can do for a description is give general vibes. I cannot even strictly define it for myself. But I have people that I have romantic feelings for without them being sexual. I can be sexually attracted to people I don't harbor romantic feelings for. I even have romantic feelings for people I don't desire a relationship with. It feels a bit like RGB color sliders sometimes, but I think it's even more multidimensional than that. It's honestly kind of frustrating to me. But honestly, yeah, people are multidimensional and we experience the same concepts in different ways. Which actually leads me to my next point:

Being polyamorous and having people with different sexual and romantic orientations taught me that relationships, at the core of it and once you free yourself from social norms, are entirely customizable and don't have to be perfectly symmetrical. I can have romantic/sexual feelings for someone while they don't have those for me and that's okay. We agree on the activities we want to experience together and the ways we'd like to interact and then it's alright. Of course, it's more complicated than that and you do run into conflict/resentment on the way, but as long as you keep and open mind, stay flexible, and are willing, you can establish and experience great and fulfilling interpersonal relationships outside of the norm. Sometimes they don't last, and that's also okay as long as you do your best to have a good time. What I'm saying is, the rules are all made up. Do what you want. Just gotta find the right people. That's not always easy, but it's incredibly worth it.

Anyway, I hope my messy ramblings contributed something and if not, I'm sorry for taking up your time (English is my third language, so my sentences can get a bit too long, I think). Obviously, my point of view is very colored by my own circumstances (notably non-monogamy), but sometimes it helps to look at things from outside of the box.

Hope you have a pleasant life and that you either find the answers you seek or learn to make peace with not knowing.

Yeah, thank's for the help! If you take a quick look at my profile, youll quickly see Im no stranger to long posts, lmao, I love em.

I do think that not being happy with who I am could absolutely be a factor in this. I think it feeds into a general lack of understanding of relationships. I might feel romantic attraction, I dont understand what that feeling is to know whether I feel it or not, so I based my judgement on desire for a relationship.

But I think the main part of it is a combination of not understanding romance and lack of self respect. Its like, if I dont understand what romantic love is, I cant see myself as being lovable? And to me, a big part of my newly discovered desired relationship is emotional support. So I look at that, see it as a desireable aspect of someone, and know I am absolutely incapable of giving it to other people. There are other examples like that, but basically, I dont understand relationships, I consider what I would want out of one, and dont think I have that.

My main takeaway from reading this is I just cant know yet, can I? Im aroace now, these labels fit now, when I start transitioning Ill do whatever. If I get into a relationship, would it be romantic, platonic, Queerplatonic, etc, it really just doesn't matter, its just a relationship and we'd do what we wanted. I'm getting too hung up on figuring things out that are A. Impossible to figure out before I reach the point where it happens and B. Not necessary to figure out.

As for asexuality, Im gonna tread lightly, but yeah, I think I might be some shade of grey ace. If I was in a romantic relationship already I would almost definately wanna be involved that way.

But yeah, your response was really helpful, thank you! I really just shouldn't worry so much, you helped me realise that.

[eldritchsurveys]

1158.

What store did you last buy clothes from? >> Rustic Market, I think

Which parent are you more similar to? .

Do you have a lot of self-discipline? >> I'm not really interested in self-discipline. I have a lot of trust in myself and tend to just let myself have free reign without being an annoying taskmaster about things. frankly, it works

Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? >> haven't

What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? .

What smell reminds you of your childhood? .

Are you happy with who you are? >> sure

Do you ever sleep with your bedroom windows open? >> I do in summer, but I have to close it when it starts getting chilly because we can't afford to properly heat this house so the less cold air we let in, the better.

Have you ever had a job where you didn’t fit in with your coworkers? .

What was the last word document you typed? >> I don't use a word processor at all

What’s something that has upset you lately? >> feeling like I am devoid of passion and creativity.

What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? .

Have you ever gotten sick from someone else’s cooking? >> once a boyfriend made a pork dish and we both got sick from it. I think the pork was off, so it was less his cooking per se and more his... lack of awareness?

Do you crave approval and attention from others? >> I do crave attention and I wouldn't say that I crave approval but at the same time it's not like I want negative attention, so. well, I think "approval" has a slightly different connotation from just general positive attention... I couldn't possibly explain the difference, though.

What was the last kind of cheese you ate? >> swiss, I think

Do you have any crazy neighbors? >> I don't know anything about the dispositions of my neighbours

Have you ever abused any substance? >> I don't consider any of my use to be abuse

How young is too young to be sexually active? .

Would you ever dye your hair silver? >> I wouldn't simply because putting my hair through that level of processing isn't appealing to me. but Mother Nature does need to hurry up and give me more greys...

What was the last fun thing you did? >> played some ESO

Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? >> once

Is there any drama currently going on with your family? .

What’s your favorite kind of soup? >> hmm... not sure

When was the last time you were on a university campus? .

Do you know anyone who practices Hinduism? >> I don't

Where’s your favorite place you’ve ever lived? >> NYC, by default, I guess (it's the only place I've lived that I've ever had actual feelings about at all)

When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? .

How many texts have you sent today? >> [animal crossing voice] zedo

What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? >> the whole "housing and food should be a human right" thing

What snacks do you like to get at the movie theater? >> I rarely buy food in the theater because it's so expensive, but when I do buy food at the AMC I usually go for the pizza or the pretzel bites

Have you ever stayed in a hotel in the center of a big city? >> Sparrow and I did once on a trip to Chicago and that was A Mistake, but we didn't have to pay for it so

Are your fingernails painted? >> they aren't. I constantly forget nail polish even exists

What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? .

When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? >> in bed. it's impossible to nap on the couch, there's always a bunch of stuff on it (and a bunch of stuff all over the living room in general, which is not conducive to restfulness for me)

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? >> I don't, aside from my general routines

[oliveroctavius]

idk if its an accurate word since it's not usually intentional, but how do you feel about the queer coding with Eel's gender? (especially in the 2018 comic)

to steal someone else's joke phrasing that puts it well:

I... have complex feelings on the 2018 solo's writing overall. I think my final thesis is: The character decisions were cool enough, but 2018 Plas misses out on some SUPER interesting possibilities by ignoring so much of original Plastic Man's lore.

I hope you sent this ask expecting an essay because you're getting one under the cut. Contains musings on the nature of comedy, "passing", and comics-typical transphobia.

~ ~ ~

I'm going to start with gendered attraction instead of presentation—I think it explains some things.

"The noble chaste hero gets a funny horny sidekick" is an old trope. OG Plas was the neutral hero. He seems actively scared of flirtation.

IIRC his only on-panel kiss is when he lets a lady who electrocutes via kiss power catch him, in order to defeat her (PC #100).

(Including these panels just because they're gorgeously rendered.)

The JLA writes him Like That because they'd decided he was the Horny Sidekick now. This ran into creepy-guy-threatening-women territory quick. 2018 Plas being the bouncer (get it?) at a strip club feels like both a continuation and direct rebuttal to that characterization.

Is there a hard line between queer coding and comedy-driven sexuality?

Comedy often works via expectation/setup -> subversion/punchline. Gender and sexuality standards are a kind of setup. (A man would enjoy attention from a pretty woman. A man would rather not see the Riddler in a thong.) Implied asexuality or bisexuality is then a subversion, a punchline.

I'd say it's on a sliding scale. Mockery wants you to laugh, because the subversion is impossible or unnatural. Earnest representation wants you to nod, because the subversion is possible and acceptable.

Bisexual Plas is in the spirit of the original, somewhere on that sincerity scale. Did I mention an off-panel golden age kiss?

Also, Plas and Woozy lived together and slept in Bert & Ernie beds. Listen: Woozy is a whole pile of transgressions you're supposed to find funny. If you're going for bisexual Plas, why not make him like Woozy and retroactively validate some of those jokes as possible states of being? Just sayin'.

Right, right. Gender. I'm guessing you're thinking of is the parallel drawn between Plas and the explicitly trans kiddo Pado Swakatoon. Seeing the Suave Prince of Pine Street boldly claim such a seemingly silly identity makes Eel decide to embrace Plastic Man.

So I'm disappointed that they dropped something that could make the trans parallel explicit: OG Plastic Man wasn't just Eel in shades. He created a new, permanent face and body for himself both as an expression of identity and a protective measure. Being "outed"--even though he has not physically been Eel for years at that point--nearly loses him friends, his job, and his freedom.

All 2018 Eel is really considering changing is his moral compass. With little else at stake, the parallel feels weaker.

The pressure to "pass" is an (unintentional) theme written all over pre-DCverse Plastic Man. Explicitly related to gender, even: the meanspirited man-in-dress jokes were rarely targeted at Plas even though his job included missions in girlmode.

If a joke is the gap between expectation/reality, "passing" is meeting enough expectations to close that gap. Plas fits the mold enough to dodge most of the 1940s otherwise rampant transmisogyny.

But passing as female is dangerous, too. When Plas takes a woman's place, he's usually trying to act as a lightning rod to a threat targeting her. That's another reason I love the "bouncer for a strip club" thing. They could push his identification with the dancers even further. Skimpy costume, dubiously legal night job, talented physical performer whose intelligence is often underestimated and whose secondary identity puts them at risk for violence...

It's odd. The 2018 series only has Plas take on other forms partially, momentarily, and usually just as a punchline. Passing as other people or innocuous objects to go places unaccosted is usually an entire pillar of his shtick.

When people "clock" him, they tend to shout something like "That's not a table! It's Plastic Man!" But if he's shaped like a table, and acting as a table, it would be just as accurate to say "Plastic Man is a table now" until he resumes his "normal" form. He can be one thing today and another thing tomorrow and all of those things for real.

Your ask uses the word "queer". That word shows up in the oldest comics in its original meaning: out-of-the-ordinary. Those who self-identify as "genderqueer" often do so because they'd rather not define themselves in relation to male or female-ness. "Passing" only has meaning if your goal is to be seen as one of the Expected Categories. What if you're something entirely unexpected?

(At this point I'm just kind of adding vaguely relevant panels to break up my wall of text. Thank you, 70s Plas.)

2018 Plas does briefly turn into Wonder Woman. I don't really know why he does this? Did he want to get tackled? Either way, he talks like Plas Doing A Parody--this isn't really a form he's trying to own.

Later he turns into Harley Quinn, mostly. The artist later apologized for adding serious crotch bulge to how she normally draws Harley. Which could be based, but the "transgression" lasts for just one absurdist sexed-up panel.

Plastic Man is the character it makes least sense to trot out the "men can only ever parody female-ness" jokes on. He doesn't even have toes—what's inside this man's Speedo is a state of perpetual quantum uncertainty.

I love Pado Swakatoon being included in the 2018 comic. But Pado's transition, rejecting identity A, preferring identity B, probably isn't the best lens for reading Eel. Transition doesn't have to be a straight line to a fixed destination; it's slipperier than that.

I'd argue "being Plastic Man" isn't a goal identity; he's just a conveniently safe default for someone who can be anyone. He's more defined his ability and enjoyment of change: the joy of self-determination without boundaries. The joy of being able to change one's mind at any time for any trivial reason. Because it can be helpful, because it can be fun, and because it can be him, all of it.