#;even though the possibility is impossible being that i'm not sexually active so there is no chance for there to be a baby

[quinkyace]

I am??? Now seriously broody and desperate for someone to put a baby in me please and thank you 😭

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

(The question I am asking is mainly from a perspective of having a vagina, but maybe it can apply to other genitalia as well)

How come I can't give myself a uti masturbating? Or can I? I got quite a few utis when I was a teen and no one was quite sure why (I'm fine now). I wasn't sexually active with other people, but I asked my doctor if it was possible to get a uti from masturbating without thoroughly washing your hands or w/e, and she said no.

I know that it's possible to get a uti from penetrative sex with either a penis or someone's fingers, because like it spreads bacteria from one hole to another and stuff. I've also heard that if you don't clean your sex toys/clean them with generic soap rather than the specific liquids, you can get a uti. So considering all this, I'm not sure why it would be impossible for me to give myself a uti? Isn't it the same as being fingered by someone else, as far as hygeine is concerned?

hi anon,

so, simple reason why you're much more likely to get a UTI from sex with other people than from having sex with yourself: they got different germs than you do.

whenever you come into contact with other people, no matter how clean they are, you're gonna get some kind of new germ introduced to your body, and your body might not take it very well. hell, you don't even have to come in direct contact for that to happen; there's a reason I almost always come home from conferences with a minor cold!

sex is considered a risk factor for UTIs - literally just any sex involving your genitals - because any time someone new gets up close and personal with your genitals there's a chance some of their new, funky bacteria could get into your urethra. your body is pretty good at knowing what to do with the bacteria that's already inside of it, but when you add some new stuff in shit has the potential to get crazy. for the most part, you're unlikely to introduce something totally new to your body when you touch yourself, whereas other bodies are bringing all new shit into the equation that's much more likely to trigger an infection.

having said that, I wouldn't say it's strictly IMPOSSIBLE to give yourself a UTI, since it's all a matter of bacteria. if you fall in the swamp and then fingerblast yourself without cleaning off, there's a huge chance your urethra (and vagina) won't like that very much! keeping your hands, sex toys, and anything else that will be touching your genitals clean is still super important!

you don't need to use a special toy cleaner, though; people who say that are mostly trying to sell special toy cleaners. the best method of cleaning sex toys depends on their materials; you can find a handy guide for that here, but suffice to say hot water and fragrance free soap will do just fine for silicones and hard plastics. the more important factor re: sex toy safety is making sure not to buy any toys made of permeable material that will soak up bodily fluids, as these are impossible to sanitize 100% and can foster the growth of bacteria and even mold in your toys, at which point a UTI is likely the least of your problems.

[bogkeep]

being in aroace education mode has me all fired up...... one thing i talk about a lot when given the opportunity is Deconstructing How We Think About Relationships - in short, if we put all of our relationships with other people into a pie chart the 'romantic partner' slice is likely to be a very small slice but gets a disproportionate amount of Relationship Infrastructure compared to other categories, such as vocabulary, rituals, attention and narrative scaffolding - entire systems such as dating / finding "the one" / break-ups / the relationship escalator, etc. on the flipside, 'friend' is such a vast category consisting of a plethora of different relationship, all ranging from Friendly Acquantaince to Extremely Close Childhood Friend You Share Everything With, but we have a lot less language and structure for how we think about these relationships even though many of them can be deeply important and intense to us.

the line between romance and friendship is really blurry, maybe even non-existent, but it feels like the way we think about these categories is that Romantic Partner is this one very specific, formalised box of a category, while Friend is a vast and vague landscape where anything can happen - and it's on this free real estate we have built structures like Queerplatonic Partner. the concept has probably existed since forever, along with many other different types of relationships throughout time and cultures, but it's our current attempt at having a Word for it.

are you with me so far? i want to write a blog post about Deconstructing Intimacy.

just putting a CW here that i'm going to say the word sex a lot and touch on the topic of sexual trauma.

one of the very thorny things about This Whole Topic is that sex and sexuality is extremely political. we just do not live in a world where there's any neutral ground to stand on regarding sex. every demographic comes with a lot of assumptions and expectations and moral judgement tied to sexuality. some demographics are desexualised, some are hypersexualised, some are Both At Once, and in addition to that there's lots of stigma, moralizing, pathologizing, and lawmaking. just a whole mess.

so all of That makes it kind of impossible to fully Dethrone Sex. and by dethroning sex i mean stripping it of the baggage it's accumulated in our cultures. Sex Is A Thing You Can Do With Your Body (And Your Mind?). this does not have to make it any less or more meaningful to you than what it already is. what each person considers intimate is very individual. many people find hugging completely inconsequential and will hug anyone at any time, and for some people a hug is A Lot. For some people, sex is a very fun and casual activity, and for others it's Sacred and carries a lot of meaning and a very close bond. sex is intimate - it requires trust and vulnerability.

it is not the only way to achieve trust and closeness, nor the only thing that requires it.

whenever i take the bus somewhere, i trust the bus driver to take me there safely. i put my literal life in a stranger's hands, but it's a very casual affair i don't think about too much. it's not an act of intimacy, just someone doing their job.

i think the way we talk about sexual assault as the evillest most horribly irredeemably worse-than-death thing, and sexual trauma as a unique kind of trauma amongst traumas, is... indicative. and please do not get me wrong, SA is a horrible thing in every way. it's a violation of trust, vulnerability and personal space. it's an abuse of power. those are the things that make it so horrific - but it's not unique.

an abuse of power, a violation of trust and vulnerability, can happen in so many different forms. emotional abuse, non-sexual violence, medical abuse, et cetera - i don't think it's possible to place trauma into a hierarchy from least to most bad. trauma can be incredibly complex and it's different for everyone. if one day the bus driver on a whim decided to drive off a cliff, i think that would severely fuck up my ability to trust other people to drive me around. if i trusted someone with my innermost thoughts that i have never shared with anyone else, and they used them to be cruel to me, that would severely impede my ability to connect with others.

i just... don't think it does anyone any favours to separate sexual trauma from all other trauma - making it seem like sexual trauma is The Worst Trauma Possible You Can Never Heal From, and on the flipside, make it seem like Well Your Non-Sexual Trauma Cannot Possibly Be That Bad.

TRAUMA TOPIC ASIDE, i think the concept of intimacy has a tendency to get flattened into just the one kind. there are many, Many ways for people to be intimate, many activities that require some form of mutual vulnerability or physical contact, but it seems like we're just very used to placing Acts of Intimacy into the Sexual category. kind of like a venn diagram where the two circles are Sexual Intimacy and Non-sexual Intimacy that are largely overlapping. but what if, instead, it's more that Intimacy is a really big circle, and sex is just one of the circles within it?

the way i think this slots into the whole Relationship Infrastructure thing is that We Like To Categorize Things. if we see two people being very intimate in a way that's not explicitly sexual, it's tempting to think ah yes they are in love AND they're having sex, OBVIOUSLY, because they are clearly capable of having that level of trust and vulnerability together. but what if they're not? does that devalue their relationship? does it make them any less close? these are very chewy questions to ask even without bringing shipping discourse into it, and i would prefer Not To because sexuality is political and there is no right answer.

another way this flattening can be frustrating is all the times non-sexual intimacy is treated as Sexual By Proxy. let's say, for example, you're telling a story, and all forms of intimacy within that story get read as metaphors for sex, despite your actual intentions. there's nothing wrong with using metaphors for sex, especially since Sex Is Political and sometimes we gotta be clever about the storytelling - but it can get very messy if people read sexuality between characters who don't have that, especially characters between which it would be very problematic to portray that. we gotta be able to tell stories about all kinds of close relationships, and surely it should be possible without bringing freud into it at every turn.

intimacy is context-dependent, i would say. a moment of vulnerability can be platonic or romantic or sexual or maybe something else depending on a situation and all the factors involved. human connection is an boundless spectrum, not just a couple boxes.

did any of this make sense? they're just my Thoughts, i'm not a scholar on this i just

[percynorthwest]

Jegulus microfic - doctor

2/5-2024 @jegulus-microfic words:~1060

cw:medical inaccuracies, pregnancy scare (ig?), complications, ectopic pregnancy

"And how long has the pain been going on for?"

"It started maybe two days ago. But it got so much worse this morning." Regulus replied. "And my shoulders started hurting too, at the same time," Regulus shrugged, "I don't know."

James could see that tried his best to keep his composure, but he could see the pain Regulus was in by his stiff posture and the constant frown on his face.

"And since then, it feels like I'm constantly on the brink of fainting."

The doctor typed quickly on her computer. She too had a quaint frown on her face. James held Regulus' hand, stroking his thumb over the back of his hand. Regulus hand was cold, more so than usual, and he was looking a tad to pale, all furthering James' worry.

James looked up to Regulus' face, and saw how he took deep, rhythmical, breaths, once again indicating of how much pain he was in. His eyes were closed tightly, and when he opened them, he blinked rapidly to keep the tears at bay. James understood how much he hated this; being so in the centre of attention; being vulnerable; in pain. James raised Regulus' hand to give it a soft kiss.

"And how long ago since your last period?" the doctor asked.

Regulus stiffened further where he sat on the plastic bed. This wasn't a topic Regulus was particularly comfortable with.

"Ehm, two years ago, maybe." He replied, still looking uncomfortable, "It kinda stopped once I got on hormones."

The doctor swirled away from the computer screen, now instead facing Regulus on her chair.

"Are you sexually active?"

James could see Regulus getting immediately red, before he answered with a nod. Then Regulus' frown deepened further.

"But I have an IUD, since like three years ago. And I'm at no risk of STDs or anything" He explained quickly with a now really worried look on his face, looking even more pale.

"It's still highly unlikely, but not impossible." The doctor explained, following Regulus' line of thinking. "I want to be on the safe side though, so I'm going to order some blood test, that will not only screen for pregnancy, and then I'd also like to order an ultrasound."

Regulus was certainly looking a lot more pale now, but he nodded along.

"Both the blood test and the ultrasound could indicate what's going on, not only whether or not it's a pregnancy."

Regulus looked just as worried, but he nodded again, maybe just a tad relieved after the doctor's reassurance.

When the doctor left the room, Regulus dropped his head back on the plastic bed, groaning out loud. James dragged his chair closer to the bed, wanting to support Regulus in any way he could. Regulus dragged his legs up, folding himself up like a ball. James placed a hand on Regulus' knee. He could hear Regulus' uneven breathing, making his heart break further. He stood up, bringing his hands to Regulus' face, cupping slightly and wiping away the few tears that had started falling down his chin.

A nurse or something akin to one, maybe a midwife, entered the room. Both James and Regulus startled slightly, and Regulus immediately wiped away any of the tears James had missed. James didn't sit back down again, wanting to be as close as possible.

"If you could just come with me," she said softly.

They followed her into another room, in the same part of the hospital. The room had stirrups, which made Regulus grip James' hand more tightly. Another nurse sat in the room already, and he seemed to be preparing blood tests.

Regulus was asked to sit down, and the male nurse took two vials of blood, while the other nurse prepared the ultrasound. After the vials were filled with crimson red blood, the male nurse left -thankfully, as Regulus probably didnt want more people in the room than necessary.

The whole procedure was quite quick. Regulus was asked to take his pants off and place his legs in those uncomfortable stirrups, and the nurse could quite quickly confirm that Regulus had a ectopic pregnancy, letting Regulus get down and get dressed again.

"What does that mean?" James asked after Regulus didn't say anything.

"The egg has been fertilized outside of the uterus," she explained. "In your case on your left fallopian tube. It happens to about one in 90 pregnancy, and if one is to get pregnant while using an IUD, the risk increases." Regulus nodded, seeming to be listening in. "I'll have to confer with the doctor, but either you will have to wait it out, under observation, or you'll be given medicines to stop furthering growth. There's also a surgery, if necessary."

She left in order to get the doctor.

Regulus turned to James, with a stern look on his face.

"We are never having sex again."

James immediately burst out in laughter, slapping a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound, so stunned by the exclamation. Regulus was looking straight ahead, but James could see a smirk creeping on his face.

Once James had managed to stop, he turned to Regulus again;

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly, looking intently at his boyfriend's face, trying to gauge his emotions.

"Pretty fucking bad." he said, laughing slightly, but James could see the look of anxiety on his face, as well as a few tears escaping his eyes.

Regulus closed his eyes tightly, and groaned loudly as he pressed the heel of his hands into his face.

"I mean what the actual fuck? This is barley supposed to be possible!"

James didn't know what to say, instead just stroking Regulus' hair, tucking a lock behind his ear.

"I don't know, baby," he murmured, placing a kiss on top of his hair.

"This is your fault, you know." Regulus said, dropping his hands in order to glare at James. "You're sleeping on the couch indefinitely."

"Sure," he replied warmly. He would probably sleep on the street if Regulus so asked.

Regulus turned on the bed, dropping his legs of the side, now sitting turned to James. His face was still slightly crunched up in pain, and tears framed his eyes. He leaned towards James, who immediately engulfed him in a tight hug. Reg sobbed quietly into James' chest. James stroked his back.

"Everything will be okay," He murmured, once again into the top of his hair.

a/n:

i don't have a medical degree or anything, this is from what i've been taught in school and what i've researched online, so this could possibly be incredibly inaccurate, probably most so regarding procedure etc.

[chaifootsteps]

College Anon back after so long. Got swamped with, well, college and every time I came in, your ask box was closed haha! Forgot most of my criticisms because these shows are forgettable so sorry if this is disjointed.

Anyways, WHAT THE FUCK. The new episode is SOOOO bad. The jokes are bad apart from a few at the end, the plot is nonsensical and shouldn't have happened right now, the song is TERRIBLE. I made a whole rant in the YouTube comment section because I was genuinely so disappointed.

I had found Full Moon quite good from what I remember because, to me, it was so obviously pro-Blitzø and a turning point for Stolas... Yeah. I should have known I was wrong.

As for the HH leaks, I only watched episode 2. I'm disappointed that Lute is yet another female character centered around a man. I don't like that she's also in love with Adam. It feels like there's too much emphasis on romance instead of friendships and further entangles her with Adam, therefore taking away her agency.

Pentious... I love him! I LOVE that his story is about inaction. It's a great message but his inaction was so heinous that it justifies him being sent to Hell unlike Chidi from The Good Place who showed that they needed a Purgatory for neutral people. Pentious here NEEDED to go to Hell for what he allowed to happen.

I also think this explains perfectly why it's him and not Angel. Because let's be honest, Angel doesn't deserve to go up there. His crimes on Earth and in Hell are a lot harder, if not impossible, to redeem. Him becoming a victim does not take away from the hurt he and his family caused. He could help raise the fact that being sexual isn't a crime and that Hell pushes people to get worse, with punishment unfitting for their wrongdoings. But unlike Sir Pentious, he wasn't a good person and actively harmed people. It wasn't that he was pushed to it when he was a decent person before, he simply got worse and had his remorse disappeared. In the end, it makes the fact that Charlie chose HIM to represent her goal of redemption laughable because Pentious is, he was always so obviously The One. It makes Angel's jealousy and insecurity tragic, which I wish they would explore, because he was right. He SHOULD BE. He likely won't reach redemption or not as easily. Pentious was the one to help Charlie's dreams come true and bring change, help making the afterlife better. And, my God, that would be SUCH a good concept and arc for Angel, especially when he's in a toxic, messy, and deeply abusive relationship, in a job he loves and hates, struggling to make new friendships work as a new him.

I know none of what they set up will be used or used well but the premise is good and so when they introduce these things, it makes the episode good. It's just that what comes next isn't. Pentious crying at the end of the episode is heartbreaking. The jokes land (love Abel! Great foil to Adam, I wish they introduced Cain for funsies. Saint Peter (iirc) is also pretty funny. I like that Sera is the only competent person in the room, it explains a lot (esp when you could infer that Adam nudged her in the worst direction possible) and just works), the songs are nice, the visuals are promising. The story is meh but it IS character-driven and that's working.

That said, of course it's gross to use a real life situation as backstory even though it's become akin to a legend/myth. I think they should have had something similar, maybe inspired or a clear reference to it, but not the actual deal. People died! Thousands lived in fear! A little bit of respect please!

Also, I still hope that Adam is brought back for REAL. NOT shoved in as fanservice as I bet happened but as a genuine foil to Pentious and the idea of redemption. Something to keep angels accountable, something that proves God gives a fuck. Let there be an actual cycle. We KNOW angels can fall. Between Lucifer and the Cherubs, we have ample proof. C'mon this would give Vaggie an arc, development and a backstory. Adam is a genuinely funny character with lots of potential, his VA is AMAZING and his music genre slaps. Bring him back you cowards!

Last note: it feels like the songs are FINALLY finished. Unlike Season 1, it doesn't feel like a draft or like they're missing instruments or an entire part (often a bridge). I might be biased because I don't care about ballads and Lute's song shares a rock-ish sound with Adam, whose songs were the best of the soundtrack, but it feels like there's some improvement here.

If your ask box is still open, I might send what I commented on the lastest HB episode because I feel like it's a decent critic but whatever. Been a while, hope you're doing well and that you aren't as harassed as before by the shitty fandom Viv is cultivating!

Ahh, I apologize for the frequently closed ask box! I hate the thought of people coming in with something to say and being met with that, but as of this moment, it's pushing 1,000. But I'm happy to report that the Viv standom's been mostly leaving me alone!

These are excellent thoughts, definitely agree on the music -- it seems to be a pretty prevailing opinion -- and I hope you're doing well too!

[amourdeslangues]

i'm really confused about my sexuality rn

writing this down in order to make sense of it (which i'll probably fail at anyways, lol). if you relate to anything i describe, please let me know, it would be great to feel a little less alone in this...

i don't really experience a lot of sexual attraction. i think there's only been one person who i've actually actively wanted to have sex with. this attraction only came to be after i'd gotten to know him a bit (not that well, but i did feel an emotional connection to him) - i'd seen him loads of times before, i was peripherally aware of his existence, but i wasn't attracted to him until we started talking.

in general, i feel like i need to know someone in order to be sexually or romantically attracted to them. i've never had an attraction to a stranger beyond purely aesthetic appreciation ("they look pretty/cool/hot etc.", but never "i want to have sex with them").

but i'm not sure about that either - i haven't ever been attracted to someone without forming an emotional bond first, and i can't really imagine that either, but how do i know it's not possible?? maybe it will happen at some point???

i haven't experienced much romantic attraction either - to three people at most, all of them guys (and with one of them, i'm not even sure if that was actual romantic attraction or if it was just platonic and internalized heteronormativity made me think that any kind of attraction to the opposite gender had to be romantic/sexual).

because of this, i'm finding it kind of hard to figure out which genders i'm actually attracted to. i feel like it's easier for someone who experiences attraction to loads of people, regardless of emotional connection, whereas i have such a tiny sample size that it feels impossible to extrapolate anything from that.

if i only look at the real people who i've been attracted to so far, that would make me straight (?), but that doesn't feel right somehow?? i can definitely imagine myself being with women, wanting it, enjoying it (both relationship-wise and on a sexual level), i can imagine myself being with people in general regardless of gender or sex. i feel like non-physical qualities (like personality) are more important in influencing my attraction anyways, so i don't really care that much about which genitals someone has - based off what i find pleasurable to imagine, i think i might even have a preference for vulvas over penises, but both are fine, tbh. and i don't think gender matters that much to me either.

the labels that i keep coming back to and that seem to make the most sense for me right now are panromantic and demisexual.

but still, i'm not really sure, mainly because i'm finding it difficult to tell romantic and sexual attraction apart that clearly. i can't imagine myself being sexually attracted to someone without wanting a romantic relationship. i have wanted a romantic relationship without wanting sex before, but i think that was because i was still very young, probably too young to want sex at all, and now (i'm 18) i can't really imagine myself wanting a romantic relationship with someone and not being sexually attracted to them either.

the problem is, i also don't really get what romantic attraction even is?? how do i differentiate it from platonic attraction? i've been trying to find criteria as follows:

commitment/permanence/loyalt/intensity (i feel very committed to my close friends, even though i wouldn't want to have a relationship with them)

physical touch / sex (touch also happens in platonic relationships, and sexual attraction is different from romantic attraction and therefore not a necessary part of it)

exclusivity (conforms to what most people seem to expect of romantic relationships as opposed to friendships, but not all romantic relationships are exclusive / monogamous, there are also open / poly relationships)

this seems paradoxical because i'm throwing around terms like "being in a relationship" or "being romantically attracted to someone" without truly understanding what they mean. i find it pretty straightforward to pin down platonic attraction and sexual attraction, but i can't really figure out romantic attraction as something that's separate from the two, it feels more like a combination of platonic and sexual attraction for me (does this make sense????)

so this is why splitting up my labels into one for romantic attraction and one for sexual attraction feels kind of weird to me, it's more like i'm pan and demi at the same time??

i don't really experience romantic and sexual attraction separately, they're very closely connected for me.

i don't experience any type of attraction very frequently, i need to form some sort of emotional bond with someone to be attracted to them (as in wanting to be in a relationship, wanting to kiss/cuddle or whatever, wanting to have sex) -> demi??

when i do experience attraction, neither gender nor sex seems to be a defining factor, i feel like i could potentially be attracted to people regardless of their gender identity or agab -> pan??

i've never heard of anyone using these labels side by side or declining to make a distinction between romantic and sexual attraction, so... well, i'm confused. ofc i could just label myself as questioning or use an umbrella term like queer, but it nags me that i haven't been able to precisely figure this out about myself, like some sort of unsolved riddle lol

thoughts/advice etc. much appreciated!!!

[godkilller]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

I will always ship Ginran above all else, but Aigin is lovely too and has some spice to it -- and I could be convinced to dabble in other pairings considering activity's been sparse from my shipping partners (not their fault, life's tiring and I'm barely here too!) and Gin's a social butterfly. I've opened my eyes to the potential for Gin and Izuru, but on my terms and not at all in the fanon's direction. Ultimately people shouldn't try to ship with me unless they're mentally prepared for their character to be constantly contesting against Rangiku in terms of their importance to Gin. As a sidenote; Shipping Gin with an OC is nearly impossible, as he requires knowing someone since the dawn of time to ever consider developing feelings for them, and I'm not too keen on people inserting their OCs into my character's past solely to avoid doing the heavy lifting of courtship.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

I'm not afraid of dipping into the toxicity of certain dynamics, nor am I one to ignore the cruelty that Gin can exude -- he's manipulative, possessive, and altogether a murderous obsessed freak. No amount of unconventional devotion can hide the darker parts of him, though I am also one to enjoy writing Gin experiencing and attempting domesticity and the softness that comes with it. I'm flexible.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

Shinigami age-gap discussions are tricky, especially the whole 'Tite forgot how old this person was / how ageing works' undertones with some of his characters (Hiyori is the same age as Gin????? Hello?), but basically I don't want anything to do with creepy shit, thanks. If Gin can comfortably punt your character into the stratosphere because they're snack-sized then he doesn't want them sexually or in any manner.

Are you selective when shipping?

ABSOLUTELY. Gin can get the ick, no matter how hypocritical he is for getting it, simply because your character didn't reply 'right' to his throwaway comment. Gin gets bored easily; if your character isn't as smart or smarter than him (and I mean that in a cunning / well-rounded way, not a 'this character knows everything that could possibly be known about the development of spoons throughout history' or some sort of thesaurus-vomit of them trying to sound super smart to him, he'll immediately become violently unimpressed he'd sooner gut himself with Shinso than finish a conversation with them) or your character is immensely weaker than him, then he isn't interested. Gin requires being challenged. Both Rangiku and Aizen challenge Gin pretty outright in different ways. Keep him on his toes, push and pull at him, make him want to pick you apart. Don't bore him.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

I don't tend to tag things until it's literally inappropriate if it was a visual medium instead. Kissing and clothed touching, even if in raunchy positions, aren't NSFW to me -- I expect everyone following me to understand my blog is an adult space. Tags won't come out till genitals get involved. If people read the written word 'nipple' over your shoulder from ten feet away and get you into hot water then you gotta tell me where they get their superior hawk-esque eyesight from, I'd like a slice.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

Just Rangiku and Aizen for now, but as I said before I am opening up to the potential for Gin and Izuru. Gin and Byakuya is hilarious, too, and I've made jokes in the past about Gin and Kenpachi. Pfft. It's hard to ship Gin with other female characters in Bleach considering Orihime's a human teenager, no thanks, and Rukia hates his guts and Gin clearly didn't like her either so it'd be a hateship purely, Harribel and Gin never exchange actual canon dialogue, Unohana is way older than him and probably thinks he's an amateur at murderous intent, the Zero Squad ladies only exist after he's canonly dead, Hinamori's a whole child and is traumatized by his Aizen-killing/not killing stunt, Tatsuki is a lesbian human teenager, Soifon is laughably a lesbian so pent up she might explode if a man ever tries to lay a hand on her, Yoruichi is too close to / complicit with Hogyoku-maker Urahara Kisuke whom Gin loathes for inspiring Aizen to steal a piece of Rangiku's soul, Nemu is too busy being Mayuri's... whatever the fuck, Isane would faint if Gin opened his eyes once at her, Hiyori is literally split in half by him and she's a literal child, Yachiru is a literal child, Lisa is also at least bi-woman preference if not fully a lesbian, Kukaku probably hates Gin's guts ever since he lopped off Jidanbo's arm at the gate because that's a sore subject for her, Kiyone is a literal child, Sung-sun is too boringly quiet and weak for his tastes, Loly isn't quiet enough and is too weak, Apacci is even worse, Mila Rose is on thin ice too, all of the Femritters are introduced after Gin's dead so we'll never know for sure if he'd even tolerate their girlbosses-don't-look-at-explosions-then-get-stupidly-defeated act, oh god who am I forgetting -- I want y'all to know I had to stop here to Google it and for some reason in the list of all female Bleach characters, somehow, Omaeda is on the list at the very bottom.... congratulations on your transition <333

Anyway long story short I don't think Gin's very compatible with the existing female Bleach cast, hence my various male/male ships instead. Gin's fluid. I acknowledge and approach shipping with the assumption that most if not all Bleach canons probably think Gin's gross or deplorable or both. But hey, I have a soft spot for writing enemies-to-lovers.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Yes because otherwise I'll just stew in the possibilities and assume it's one-sided and never bring anything up 'cause I don't wanna freak people out. But please keep in mind I am very picky because Gin himself is even pickier. You may be rejected ultimately, and it's really not something that's personal with me. A better approach would be the age-old, tried and true method of jokingly saying 'wouldn't it be funny if they caught feelings?' at me and then we spiral together from there. I'm not open for that currently, but in the future perhaps.

How often do you like to ship?

I kinda wanna only ship things if it's been earned -- we put in the work, things escalated naturally, and then we're exploring the dynamic thoroughly from there instead of just jumping to the juiciest parts first. I am a patient person, Gin is too, we're not about to pounce on somebody just because they stuck their leggy up real high. I'm a previously single-ship-only kinda guy, I yearn for that commitment.

Are you multiship?

I am duo-ship at the moment, with the possibility of opening up from that in the future -- so technically yes. I approach things though with a strict refusal to write cheating, so everything is a separate verse. Gin isn't sleeping with Rangiku and then tiptoeing to Aizen's room after, I refuse to do that sort of shit. Gin's all-or-nothing and so am I, so expect that if I ever do multiship -- it'll probably not be willy-nilly, I'll be severely selective.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Daydreaming about dynamics is my bread and butter. I'll be cooking up entire scenarios on my own while watching paint dry, my mind knows no limits and the links to musing posts/quotes/aesthetics/tiktoks that make me think of our characters together merely scratch the surface. If a ship hits right it consumes me.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

I'm a sucker for Ginran, Aigin, Ulquihime, Shunuki, Ichiruki, Grimmjow and anybody really, Ichihime, Mayuri and permanent death, Ishihime, Rangiku and genuine happiness, whatever the ship name for Urahara and Yoruichi is, Aizen and touching grass instead of committing atrocities. I could be down for Gin and Izuru, I also think Kenpachi and Byakuya make a funny / cute pair. I'd also die for the ship I have with @madestars with their OC Hotaru and Gin's daughter Keiko.

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Hit me on the head with a brick irl.

tagged by : @despairforme

tagging: @dokuhai, @keikakudori, @madestars / @rejekshun, @gyakusama / @owabisuru, and anybody else!

[transmutationisms]

sorry if this is not a question you like to be asked/topic you want to discuss. but how do we bash back against the ‘lgb drop the t’ people and other terfs? genuinely, like, do we just ignore them? is it possible to have a productive conversation?

honestly i'm not a strong debater, esp in a face-to-face context where i don't have the opportunity to revise and rephrase my arguments in writing. i also think it's generally pointless to argue with people who are avowed transmisogynists / general transphobes. there are obviously many different ways people come to embrace actively anti-trans politics (as opposed to the level of passively accepted transphobia that just exists as part of the social background) but ime often this hinges on a flat refusal to take seriously the idea that social positions and entities (like 'cis' genders) are immanently socially and historically contingent, and that defying a birth identification is therefore no less legitimate than performing it. i am always willing to talk to people who have questions about principles of a constructivist argument, but i've found it's a waste of breath to try to convince someone of this type of position if they're simply unwilling to even engage with the notion that their social realities are actively constructed and maintained rather than being immutable and transhistorical truths. in the case of 'drop the t' types specifically, this often takes the form of the 'born this way' narrative deployed to 'defend' cis lgb people---because again, any notion of sexuality involving agency or active choice would also be disturbing to this genre of transphobe. ime these essentialist positions are also why so many transphobic arguments will rapidly expand and reframe into broad attacks on 'postmodernism' and specifically name foucault (this is also a condemnation of the way liberal academics understand and use his work, lol). also worth noting that many many transphobes are openly operating with a politics based on their own personal disgust and discomfort, and though i might simply point out to them that personal feelings don't dictate political or social realities, my experience is that arguing someone out of a disgust-based prejudice or opinion is virtually impossible. like, these are not 'rational' arguments; they're ex post facto justifications for a reaction to trans bodies and lives as aberrant and perverted. i think it's generally more productive to focus on preventing harm (like, is a trans woman being ostracised or denied housing or starving for lack of income? can you do something to rectify that?) and making transphobes' positions as marginal as possible by just shutting them down. but again, i'm not a good debater! so maybe someone else has a better strategy for countering these people.

[bimboficationblues]

i haven't read that molly smith book but just from my knowledge of marx your analysis looks wrong to me. i'm aware of two places where marx claims that wage labor is forced labor: the 1844 manuscripts and capital volume 3. i'm going to assume you don't care about the former, so for the latter: "We saw also that capital -- and the capitalist is merely capital personified and functions in the process of production solely as the agent of capital -- in its corresponding social process of production, pumps a definite quantity of surplus-labour out of the direct producers, or labourers; capital obtains this surplus-labour without an equivalent, and in essence it always remains forced labour -- no matter how much it may seem to result from free contractual agreement."

by my count, you are actually succumbing to the appearance that wage labor is the "result of free contractual agreement". marx uses the word "seem" here, and when he does that it tends to mean that it is appearance and not reality. so he's explicitly saying that wage labor is not consensual ("the result of free contractual agreement") but forced labor. as far as i'm aware, we just refer to forced sexual labor as rape. you claimed in your post that this isn't the case so please elaborate

"it’s a framework that can’t distinguish between tricks that were okay or fine to deal with and times where you were physically assaulted or actively manipulated" i don't find this persuasive because, as a student of republican theory, you should know that it's perfectly possible to even have *literal slavery* where the master is benevolent and labor under him is fine compared to labor under a harsher slavemaster. yes, slavery and wage labor are different, but they share the trait of being forced labor, which i think is what matters here. when marx talks about the formal freedom of the wage laborer, that's clearly meant to show that bourgeois notions of freedom (which, it seems to me, is what's being alluded to in the previous quote to distinguish good and bad tricks) are impoverished, the "double freedom" is obviously supposed to be sarcastic/seething and implicitly contrasted to some sort of a real freedom to be realized in communism

obviously, marx didn't want to criminalize sex work, but i'm not seeing how the inference that sex work (or at least FSSW - stuff like pornography is something else i guess, whatever we would want to call forced picture taking/video taping) is rape isn't accurate under his analysis. he and engels regularly disparaginly reffered to prostitution as the "community of women" and they disparagingly compared marriage to it, in both cases making a point about how the normalization of it causes people to have instrumental views of women. marx calls prostitution just one instance of the "general prostitution of the wage laborer", which isn't meant to imply that prostitution is nonproblematic but rather make other wage labor look problematic

I don't really agree with a lot of the assumptions you're bringing to the table here (your interpretation of Marx or that quote, the necessity of being in agreement with Marx or Engels [lol] on all things, the relevance of these points to what I'm talking about, the presumption of my intellectual obligations to anonymous people) and I think maybe reading that Smith & Mac book (or even something more in-depth/less targeted for a popular audience) would be a worthwhile use of time.

again, it's not like it's impossible to use more effective and clear language on this - there's nothing that obligates us to talk in the terms you're defending. is it "violence" for me to have to go to work? did it transform into "sexual violence" when I was doing sex work (or did it lose the sexual because it was virtual, as your parenthetical implies)? maybe! (though probably not, imo.) but I think talking about the weight of money and the market on our reasoning using moral-juridical shorthand has significant costs analytically (clarity, precision), politically (the entire trajectory of this idea as applied in the history of prostitution law), and ethically (in terms of evaluating and taking stock of our actions and harms). in fact the whole reference to pornography sort of troubles this particular narrative (paid sexual labor is rape when it's in-person but not when it's virtual or filmed, despite being produced by the same incentives?), which I think relies on the same idea of sexual labor as unique/mystified compared to other labor that I was criticizing. I'm not pushing a "sex work as empowerment" line here and never have; most other current or former sex workers I know wouldn't. but this is a framework that doesn't clarify, it obscures by reinforcing criminalization and stigmatization, and makes it actively more difficult for sex workers to talk about the range and depth of their experiences in the context of their needs and demands as laborers, both in their own struggle and as part of a larger struggle. it is ethically and politically worthless as a line of thought.

anyway I think this is all quite condescending and in poor taste.

[crvwly]

For kiss roulette: 11, a kiss to the neck

(cw: drug use mention)

"Quite the bacchanalia, eh angel?"

Aziraphale practically jumps out of his skin at the whisper in his ear. He twists to look over his shoulder at Crowley, grinning ear to ear in a knowing way that brings a sheepish flush to Aziraphale's cheeks in record time.

"Crowley," he greets simply, ignoring the bait and looking forward again. "I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

"But I very much should," Crowley says, slinking around to stand beside him and lean into his personal space, grin growing impossibly wider. "And am. What on Earth could bring such a pure, divine being as yourself to a Festival of Bacchus? There's nothing here but drunken revelry and a sexual free-for-all."

Aziraphale keeps his gaze steadfastly ahead, even as the blush on his face starts creeping down his neck, even though Crowley is leering so closely that his breath is warm and incredibly distracting against the shell of Aziraphale's ear.

"Precisely," Aziraphale says, proud of the way he keeps his tone level. "These sorts of events tend to get out of hand."

"Ah," Crowley says, quirking a brow and tilting his head. "Killjoy cover - pretty good."

In his peripheral, Aziraphale sees him lick his lips. He fights the urge to shiver. "I beg your pardon?"

"Oh, nothing," Crowley says, slithering behind Aziraphale to his other side in a way that shouldn't be possible for his human-shaped body. "It won't be as transparent to them as it is to me. They don't understand these things the way we do."

Aziraphale stands straighter, looking dead ahead. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"I only mean," Crowley says, smirking, "that if anyone asked of your whereabouts tonight and you needed a cover story for indulging in a festival of intoxication and ecstasy, preventing humans from engaging in the more intense activities that can culminate of these events is... pretty good."

"But I'm not indulging, am I?" Aziraphale says, daring a glance at Crowley just to raise an imprudent brow at him.

A mistake, of course; the fire illuminating the grounds bathes Crowley in soft light, cheeks and nose rosy from the wine and warm weather. He's wearing his hair in plaits wrapped around his head like a crown, a fashion popular with the young women of Rome for now. Aziraphale admires the way Crowley attempts to keep up with their trends, taking bits and pieces of them that suit him and hoarding them like treasure; like the jewellery the Romans find so fetching this century, the same rich yellow as Crowley's eyes.

The Romans do so covet amber, he would say, if he were braver. Do they admire your eyes that way, the same way I do?

He swallows hard and looks away again with an odd, tight feeling in his chest. "I imagine you are? Indulging, I mean to say."

"In the drink, certainly," Crowley says. "The rich cult that throws the sex festivals makes the best vino in the country."

"But not...?"

Aziraphale's gaze falls on a couple getting amorous beneath a tree, hands roaming over each others' bodies and open mouths clashing together, and looks up and away with his face burning as if his interest is suddenly taken by the stars. He's not easily embarrassed, and certainly not by sex in general; it's trivial, it's human, until it's being discussed with the one being in all of creation who knows exactly how to get under Aziraphale's skin, who introduced him to the pleasures of a different kind of flesh, and who seems, for some reason, to have a vested interested in Aziraphale indulging.

"Nah," Crowley says, looking out at the scattered sea of writhing bodies partaking in the evening's festivities. "Demon, humans... just doesn't feel right. Tempter of the original sin, and all. Gets weird when I think about it too much."

"I suppose that makes sense," Aziraphale says, returning his gaze to the Earth and wishing for some kind of breeze to cool himself down; he ought to have brought a handfan, but he always forgets how balmy Roman summers are. "So you're just here drinking and..."

"Soaking up the debauchery," Crowley says, his grin renewed. He leans back and takes a deep breath in, finally giving Aziraphale more than an inch of space to himself again, and lets it out with a sigh of satisfaction; if it sounds a bit more like a moan than a sigh for a moment, it's really none of Aziraphale's business. He was probably imagining it in the first place. "Oh, it's like nothing else. You ever try opium?"

"Just the once. I wasn't a fan of the come-down."

"Remember those wavessss of euphoria," Crowley says, hissing as he tends to do when he's intoxicated and tipping his head back like he's basking in the indecency of it all, "that hit you at random? No rhyme or reason, just ecstasy - that's what it feels like here, if I let all wash over me properly. All of them, lost to pleasure, getting off on the idea of seeing each other get off."

Heat curls in the pit of Aziraphale's stomach and he swallows, mouth suddenly dry.

As if he can tell - good Lord, can he? - Crowley brings his head back down and smiles at Aziraphale, teeth showing in a way that ought to be threatening but only stokes the coals of Aziraphale's interest.

"But there can only be one weirdo lurking in the corner and watching at these things, you know," he says, stalking around Aziraphale and leaning over his shoulder to speak again, voice lowering. "Now there's two of us just standing about, sticking out like sore thumbs. Being the clothed ones at the orgy can draw unwanted attention."

Crowley's lips brush his ear with the final word and Aziraphale's heart thuds against his chest loud enough he's certain Crowley must be able to hear it. If he can, he doesn't comment on it.

"Over by that frisky trio in the bushes, see him?" he says instead, nodding toward the stranger in question, who's giving Aziraphale a suggestive look. "He's been eyeing you this whole time. If he thinks you're available, instead of just watching, he might come seeking your attention."

His hand comes up to skim a touch across Aziraphale's shoulderblades, a ghost of a caress where his wings would be, and Aziraphale realises he lost control of this interaction quite awhile ago and has no desire to get it back.

"How would you suggest I make myself appear... less available?" Aziraphale murmurs, tilting his head in the slightest, an offering he hopes doesn't go overlooked.

Crowley's hand drifts back from his shoulder to his neck and a pair of slender fingers curl around the collar of his tunic, gingerly pulling the fabric aside so Crowley can dip his head and press his lips to the base of Aziraphale's neck, hot like a brand against his skin. Aziraphale's eyes fall half-shut and he bites back a groan, head tipping further to the side as Crowley kisses his jaw, nosing at the tender spot beneath his ear.

"Something like this might help," Crowley murmurs against his skin. "Is he still looking?"

Aziraphale glances back to the stranger, who has decidedly lost interest and is now pleasuring himself to the sight of the frisky trio in the bushes.

"Yes," he lies, shutting his eyes.

"Good," Crowley says, lips grazing his jaw again. "I've got a few other ideas."

[sentientgopro]

On the topic of transness and the whole aroace thing. Idk if I can be of particular help, while I personally am allosexual and alloromantic (I think), I have a weird relationship to attraction (and gender) and I'm also polyamorous, so generally outside of the norm for how attraction works. Plus, I have several connections (partners, friends, a sibling, etc.) who are on the ace and/or aro spectrum. Which is why I had way too many thoughts on this topic, unfortunately none of them scientifically backed. I'm not a sociologist, but interpersonal relationships are somewhat of a special interest for me.

I'm warning you now, this is probably gonna get messy and long (even though I'll try to keep it as short as I can), but I like sharing.

This point might be the most relatable and applicable to your situation. I have a friend who used to identify as agender and asexual (don't remember if also aromantic, it's been years) who then realized she's a trans woman and a lesbian, which was very surprising and weird for her as well. The way she rationalized it was that within her own self-perception she couldn't see herself as someone who would be in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone else, but gaining more acceptance for herself and her own identity, the idea of her being someone who loves and is loved seemed more realistic and desirable. She's not 100% sure either, though. But there is a possibility of internally rejecting attraction as a sort of self-defense mechanism due to a lack of self-acceptance. That doesn't invalidate aroace identities, but I think both of these ideas can and do coexist.

It may be important to also remember here that first of all, both asexuality and aromanticism exist on a spectrum and secondly that they refer to attraction rather than behavior or desire for tangible circumstances. Asexual/aromantic people can still enthusiastically participate in sex/romance, the main point is that they don't experience sexual/romantic attraction for specific people (or only under specific circumstances if we move around on the spectrum). My longterm partner is asexual (but not aromantic), but will participate in sexual activities with me because they love me and it's a pleasurable activity. They find me aesthetically attractive, and may even find certain behavior or body parts arousing, but they're not sexually attracted to me as a person. In fact, sexual attraction doesn't even cross their mind unless prompted. Another more recent connection is aromantic (but not asexual), but doesn't mind participating in traditionally romantic activities and physical non-sexual affection with me, but just doesn't experience crushes/romantic attraction towards people. The entire concept seems a bit hard to understand for them. They "love" me, but conceptualize it mostly as very strong platonic feelings, as far as I can understand. (At this point it might be good to note that I have the most ironic luck at finding partners/connections as someone who experiences very strong sexual and romantic attraction.) My sibling is on the aroace spectrum, but still desires companionship and partnership (cupioromantic has been used as a label before, but not consistently). Romantic and sexual attraction are all just very wibbly wobbly weird concepts in general, just like gender, honestly. Nothing really matters ultimately, but also it kinda does? It's all very silly how much importance society puts on these things, especially when you deviate from the norm.

You asked "Are there different kinds of romance?" and I raise you "What is romance even?". To date I have not been able to come to a conclusion or been given a good answer to that. Ask 10 people and you get 10 different answers. As soon as you divorce the premises of sexual attraction and monogamy from romance, it becomes nigh impossible to even start to define. For a lot of people these seem to be defining factors of romance (as opposed to platonic love). In fact, my current running theory is that romance, on its own, is a social and cultural construct (especially if you look at historic conceptions of it). Nevertheless, romantic attraction is still a feeling I experience, and it feels different than strictly platonic love or even sexual attraction. Best I can do for a description is give general vibes. I cannot even strictly define it for myself. But I have people that I have romantic feelings for without them being sexual. I can be sexually attracted to people I don't harbor romantic feelings for. I even have romantic feelings for people I don't desire a relationship with. It feels a bit like RGB color sliders sometimes, but I think it's even more multidimensional than that. It's honestly kind of frustrating to me. But honestly, yeah, people are multidimensional and we experience the same concepts in different ways. Which actually leads me to my next point:

Being polyamorous and having people with different sexual and romantic orientations taught me that relationships, at the core of it and once you free yourself from social norms, are entirely customizable and don't have to be perfectly symmetrical. I can have romantic/sexual feelings for someone while they don't have those for me and that's okay. We agree on the activities we want to experience together and the ways we'd like to interact and then it's alright. Of course, it's more complicated than that and you do run into conflict/resentment on the way, but as long as you keep and open mind, stay flexible, and are willing, you can establish and experience great and fulfilling interpersonal relationships outside of the norm. Sometimes they don't last, and that's also okay as long as you do your best to have a good time. What I'm saying is, the rules are all made up. Do what you want. Just gotta find the right people. That's not always easy, but it's incredibly worth it.

Anyway, I hope my messy ramblings contributed something and if not, I'm sorry for taking up your time (English is my third language, so my sentences can get a bit too long, I think). Obviously, my point of view is very colored by my own circumstances (notably non-monogamy), but sometimes it helps to look at things from outside of the box.

Hope you have a pleasant life and that you either find the answers you seek or learn to make peace with not knowing.

Yeah, thank's for the help! If you take a quick look at my profile, youll quickly see Im no stranger to long posts, lmao, I love em.

I do think that not being happy with who I am could absolutely be a factor in this. I think it feeds into a general lack of understanding of relationships. I might feel romantic attraction, I dont understand what that feeling is to know whether I feel it or not, so I based my judgement on desire for a relationship.

But I think the main part of it is a combination of not understanding romance and lack of self respect. Its like, if I dont understand what romantic love is, I cant see myself as being lovable? And to me, a big part of my newly discovered desired relationship is emotional support. So I look at that, see it as a desireable aspect of someone, and know I am absolutely incapable of giving it to other people. There are other examples like that, but basically, I dont understand relationships, I consider what I would want out of one, and dont think I have that.

My main takeaway from reading this is I just cant know yet, can I? Im aroace now, these labels fit now, when I start transitioning Ill do whatever. If I get into a relationship, would it be romantic, platonic, Queerplatonic, etc, it really just doesn't matter, its just a relationship and we'd do what we wanted. I'm getting too hung up on figuring things out that are A. Impossible to figure out before I reach the point where it happens and B. Not necessary to figure out.

As for asexuality, Im gonna tread lightly, but yeah, I think I might be some shade of grey ace. If I was in a romantic relationship already I would almost definately wanna be involved that way.

But yeah, your response was really helpful, thank you! I really just shouldn't worry so much, you helped me realise that.

[eldritchsurveys]

1158.

What store did you last buy clothes from? >> Rustic Market, I think

Which parent are you more similar to? .

Do you have a lot of self-discipline? >> I'm not really interested in self-discipline. I have a lot of trust in myself and tend to just let myself have free reign without being an annoying taskmaster about things. frankly, it works

Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? >> haven't

What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? .

What smell reminds you of your childhood? .

Are you happy with who you are? >> sure

Do you ever sleep with your bedroom windows open? >> I do in summer, but I have to close it when it starts getting chilly because we can't afford to properly heat this house so the less cold air we let in, the better.

Have you ever had a job where you didn’t fit in with your coworkers? .

What was the last word document you typed? >> I don't use a word processor at all

What’s something that has upset you lately? >> feeling like I am devoid of passion and creativity.

What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? .

Have you ever gotten sick from someone else’s cooking? >> once a boyfriend made a pork dish and we both got sick from it. I think the pork was off, so it was less his cooking per se and more his... lack of awareness?

Do you crave approval and attention from others? >> I do crave attention and I wouldn't say that I crave approval but at the same time it's not like I want negative attention, so. well, I think "approval" has a slightly different connotation from just general positive attention... I couldn't possibly explain the difference, though.

What was the last kind of cheese you ate? >> swiss, I think

Do you have any crazy neighbors? >> I don't know anything about the dispositions of my neighbours

Have you ever abused any substance? >> I don't consider any of my use to be abuse

How young is too young to be sexually active? .

Would you ever dye your hair silver? >> I wouldn't simply because putting my hair through that level of processing isn't appealing to me. but Mother Nature does need to hurry up and give me more greys...

What was the last fun thing you did? >> played some ESO

Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? >> once

Is there any drama currently going on with your family? .

What’s your favorite kind of soup? >> hmm... not sure

When was the last time you were on a university campus? .

Do you know anyone who practices Hinduism? >> I don't

Where’s your favorite place you’ve ever lived? >> NYC, by default, I guess (it's the only place I've lived that I've ever had actual feelings about at all)

When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? .

How many texts have you sent today? >> [animal crossing voice] zedo

What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? >> the whole "housing and food should be a human right" thing

What snacks do you like to get at the movie theater? >> I rarely buy food in the theater because it's so expensive, but when I do buy food at the AMC I usually go for the pizza or the pretzel bites

Have you ever stayed in a hotel in the center of a big city? >> Sparrow and I did once on a trip to Chicago and that was A Mistake, but we didn't have to pay for it so

Are your fingernails painted? >> they aren't. I constantly forget nail polish even exists

What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? .

When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? >> in bed. it's impossible to nap on the couch, there's always a bunch of stuff on it (and a bunch of stuff all over the living room in general, which is not conducive to restfulness for me)

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? >> I don't, aside from my general routines

[caesarsprincess]

[INCOMING NSFW STUFF, NOT FOR MINORS]

1. Oh, it's a VERY big part. When people ask me if I'm in a relationship, I answer yes. It's only those close to me, and other anime fans, who know that my partner is fictional though.

2. Lots and lots of dark themes! Caesar Clown experiments on children, makes weapons of mass destruction, and made a whole island into a toxic wasteland. Furthermore, it is implied that he experiments on animals too. So any kind of ship with him would be inherently dark. His subordinates call him Master, which he takes great pleasure in. This also applies to my self ship, where he is very much the dominant part. Most of what I do, even in real life, I do thinking about whether he would approve of it or not. I let him decide everything for me in-universe, and as much as possible in real life too. Since he's not real, he cannot violate me.

3. Caesar is unfortunately not very popular :(

4. I have Faputa from Made in Abyss as a sorta complicated f/o, where she is romantically attracted to and obsessed with me, without me having these feelings. I almost never talk about her because of how controversial MiA is.

5. I write, but I have writer's block...

6. My Caesar Clown ship has definitely grown out of my actual IRL romantic love for him. Otherwise, I don't have any other f/os that I love romantically, and I never will. Caesar is my one and only.

7. Caesar Clown of course!

8. I'm definitely close to both of my self inserts. However, appearance and name are different.

9. I've been a part of it for more than 3 months, but I'm not that active. There is an active self shipper that I'm uncomfortable with.

10. I have quite a few.

11. Since I am not comfortable with being in a real life relationship, I incorporate kinks that I have no will to engage in with real people. There is one notable kink which is basically physically impossible, and that is breathing another person as gas. I know it sounds weird... In addition to that, I love it when Caesar praises me, but only if it's him. I don't get all flustered if other people do it. Some of the things HE appears to love: Strapping me down for scientific experiments. Making me eat drugged candy. Forcing me to breathe different kinds of chemicals, restricting oxygen. Putting weird things into me for longer periods of time "for science". But in general, I do not write about explicitly sexual stuff. Rather, I prefer to use undertones and leave certain details to imagination. It's much more intriguing and thrilling that way.

12 for Faputa, well, she's a Narehate in the shape of a human with animal features. She is born as a Narehate, and was never fully human. My self inserts in all universes are human.

13. I stay as close as possible to canon, and I never make headcanons that contradict canon.

14. No.

15. I'm not familiar with that.

16. Caesar Clown of course.

17. Definitely Faputa. We both have a capability for extreme rage! (For me it's only verbally though)

18. I know only one other selfshipper IRL. He has Nico Robin. I am only open about Caesar, and it's only because he's such a big part of my life. However, it's mostly online I'm serious about it. To avoid ridicule, I treat it mostly as a joke in public.

19. I have a crack AU where Orth is an island in One Piece, and Caesar exhanged kids with Bondrewd. He acted weirdly calm in the presence of the total insanity of Caesar. But this AU is so ridiculous that I would never write serious fics about it.

20. Not poly, all but Caesar are platonic f/os

21. My favorite guilty pleasure: the Precure franchise...

22. No...

23. I generally prefer anime and manga.

24. As I said before, Caesar has total control over my life in-universe. At least he tries to maintain control. However, I accept it because I love him so much.

25. I hate 100% uncomplicated self ships where the self insert is a mary sue.

BONUS: I love to ride on Caesar's back and use his horns as handles! He is 309 cm tall, so I can easily do it. With his devil fruit ability, he can lift people up as if they were as light as a feather!

General Selfship Ask Game

1. How big of a part is selfshipping in your life?

2. Do you tend to darker themes in your shipping? If yes, why? Or why not?

3. Are you generally more attached to less or more popular characters?

4. Is there an f/o you have never/rarely talked about publicly? Tell us a little something about them!

5. Do you create for your selfships? If yes, what do you create?

6. Do you selfship out of attraction, for fun or to cope? Or for any other reasons?

7. If you could choose one f/o to be with you RIGHT NOW who would it be, and why?

8. How closely do you identify with/as your s/i's, if you have any?

9. How long have you been part of the selfshipping community? How long before have you selfshipped without being aware of the community or publicly partaking in it?

10. Any old f/o's you're no longer shipping with?

11. Do you incorporate kink into your selfships? If yes, any kinks you prefer?

12. Do you have any non-human f/o's? If yes is your s/i for them human or not? Are you perhaps nonhuman?

13. How close do you prefer to stay to canon?

14. Any f/o's you have completely removed from canon/their source?

15. If you're fictionfolk, how does that affect your selfships?

16. Pick one f/o you identify with closest!

17. Pick one f/o you think makes others think of you! (Might be a main f/o, or one so obscure only you ship with them)

18. Do you talk about your selfships irl? Do you know any other selfshippers irl?

19. Do you have an AU where multiple f/o's from different sources exist together? Tell us about it!

20. Are you a polyselfshipper? If yes, are all your ships poly?

21. Do you have a favorite media you do not selfship from?

22. Do you own a trinket you associate with your f/o?

23. Do you tend to selfship preferably from specific type of media? (i.e. prefer animated over life action, novels over games, interactive over non-interactive, etc.)

24. Are there any sort of power dynamics in your selfships? If yes, who tends to be more dominant, and who less so?

25. Any favorite shipping tropes you usually love but don't like in your selfships? Or any tropes you usually can't stand but like in your selfships?

Bonus! Is there anything about your selfships you always wanted to share? But didn't know when it would be appropriate? Do it here!

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Please remember to practice reblog karma

Feel free to add more questions in your reblogs, or use this as a cheat sheet for asks to send other selfshippers who haven't interacted with this post!

[oliveroctavius]

idk if its an accurate word since it's not usually intentional, but how do you feel about the queer coding with Eel's gender? (especially in the 2018 comic)

to steal someone else's joke phrasing that puts it well:

I... have complex feelings on the 2018 solo's writing overall. I think my final thesis is: The character decisions were cool enough, but 2018 Plas misses out on some SUPER interesting possibilities by ignoring so much of original Plastic Man's lore.

I hope you sent this ask expecting an essay because you're getting one under the cut. Contains musings on the nature of comedy, "passing", and comics-typical transphobia.

~ ~ ~

I'm going to start with gendered attraction instead of presentation—I think it explains some things.

"The noble chaste hero gets a funny horny sidekick" is an old trope. OG Plas was the neutral hero. He seems actively scared of flirtation.

IIRC his only on-panel kiss is when he lets a lady who electrocutes via kiss power catch him, in order to defeat her (PC #100).

(Including these panels just because they're gorgeously rendered.)

The JLA writes him Like That because they'd decided he was the Horny Sidekick now. This ran into creepy-guy-threatening-women territory quick. 2018 Plas being the bouncer (get it?) at a strip club feels like both a continuation and direct rebuttal to that characterization.

Is there a hard line between queer coding and comedy-driven sexuality?

Comedy often works via expectation/setup -> subversion/punchline. Gender and sexuality standards are a kind of setup. (A man would enjoy attention from a pretty woman. A man would rather not see the Riddler in a thong.) Implied asexuality or bisexuality is then a subversion, a punchline.

I'd say it's on a sliding scale. Mockery wants you to laugh, because the subversion is impossible or unnatural. Earnest representation wants you to nod, because the subversion is possible and acceptable.

Bisexual Plas is in the spirit of the original, somewhere on that sincerity scale. Did I mention an off-panel golden age kiss?

Also, Plas and Woozy lived together and slept in Bert & Ernie beds. Listen: Woozy is a whole pile of transgressions you're supposed to find funny. If you're going for bisexual Plas, why not make him like Woozy and retroactively validate some of those jokes as possible states of being? Just sayin'.

Right, right. Gender. I'm guessing you're thinking of is the parallel drawn between Plas and the explicitly trans kiddo Pado Swakatoon. Seeing the Suave Prince of Pine Street boldly claim such a seemingly silly identity makes Eel decide to embrace Plastic Man.

So I'm disappointed that they dropped something that could make the trans parallel explicit: OG Plastic Man wasn't just Eel in shades. He created a new, permanent face and body for himself both as an expression of identity and a protective measure. Being "outed"--even though he has not physically been Eel for years at that point--nearly loses him friends, his job, and his freedom.

All 2018 Eel is really considering changing is his moral compass. With little else at stake, the parallel feels weaker.

The pressure to "pass" is an (unintentional) theme written all over pre-DCverse Plastic Man. Explicitly related to gender, even: the meanspirited man-in-dress jokes were rarely targeted at Plas even though his job included missions in girlmode.

If a joke is the gap between expectation/reality, "passing" is meeting enough expectations to close that gap. Plas fits the mold enough to dodge most of the 1940s otherwise rampant transmisogyny.

But passing as female is dangerous, too. When Plas takes a woman's place, he's usually trying to act as a lightning rod to a threat targeting her. That's another reason I love the "bouncer for a strip club" thing. They could push his identification with the dancers even further. Skimpy costume, dubiously legal night job, talented physical performer whose intelligence is often underestimated and whose secondary identity puts them at risk for violence...

It's odd. The 2018 series only has Plas take on other forms partially, momentarily, and usually just as a punchline. Passing as other people or innocuous objects to go places unaccosted is usually an entire pillar of his shtick.

When people "clock" him, they tend to shout something like "That's not a table! It's Plastic Man!" But if he's shaped like a table, and acting as a table, it would be just as accurate to say "Plastic Man is a table now" until he resumes his "normal" form. He can be one thing today and another thing tomorrow and all of those things for real.

Your ask uses the word "queer". That word shows up in the oldest comics in its original meaning: out-of-the-ordinary. Those who self-identify as "genderqueer" often do so because they'd rather not define themselves in relation to male or female-ness. "Passing" only has meaning if your goal is to be seen as one of the Expected Categories. What if you're something entirely unexpected?

(At this point I'm just kind of adding vaguely relevant panels to break up my wall of text. Thank you, 70s Plas.)

2018 Plas does briefly turn into Wonder Woman. I don't really know why he does this? Did he want to get tackled? Either way, he talks like Plas Doing A Parody--this isn't really a form he's trying to own.

Later he turns into Harley Quinn, mostly. The artist later apologized for adding serious crotch bulge to how she normally draws Harley. Which could be based, but the "transgression" lasts for just one absurdist sexed-up panel.

Plastic Man is the character it makes least sense to trot out the "men can only ever parody female-ness" jokes on. He doesn't even have toes—what's inside this man's Speedo is a state of perpetual quantum uncertainty.

I love Pado Swakatoon being included in the 2018 comic. But Pado's transition, rejecting identity A, preferring identity B, probably isn't the best lens for reading Eel. Transition doesn't have to be a straight line to a fixed destination; it's slipperier than that.

I'd argue "being Plastic Man" isn't a goal identity; he's just a conveniently safe default for someone who can be anyone. He's more defined his ability and enjoyment of change: the joy of self-determination without boundaries. The joy of being able to change one's mind at any time for any trivial reason. Because it can be helpful, because it can be fun, and because it can be him, all of it.

[yr-obedt-cicero]

This is my first time making an ask, like, ever, so apologies if this seems long winded. Okay, this is bloody insane to me and I sadly can’t find much on it, but I’ll make this brief (apologies for bothering you!):

So, there was an African-American (specifically ‘mulatto’, according to record) free man born sometime in 1773 in New York, and he later went on to become an activist for the end of slavery and civil rights as a whole. He spent his entire life making newspapers advocating for African-American rights and helped start (and join, of course) anti-slavery organizations. Pretty cool, right? You’re probably wondering what his name was on records.

His name was William Hamilton. Remember when I said that he was mulatto? Well, his mother was a free black woman, and it’s alleged that Alexander Hamilton (yes, THAT Alexander Hamilton) was the father. However, it hasn’t been confirmed, as little to no paternity tests have been conducted. According to Wikipedia sources (reliable, I know /s), even Ron Chernow said that it’s murky whether A. Hamilton was truly the father or if it was just a coincidence.

Pardon for the ramble, I just came upon this a couple moments ago while researching Hamilton’s relation to slavery out of curiosity and it… well, surprised me, ngl! Apologies if this has all already been debunked or something of the sort, I just wanted to pass this info along if you didn’t know/were interested. Perhaps you know something on this? Or if not, it could be something interesting to research!!

Again, apologies for the ramble, thank you for reading! :))

No, I had actually not heard of this until now, and it's definitely something I hope we can learn more about!

But unfortunately, as of right now; there is little evidence to support either claims. We know so little about this man, not even his birthday, or birthplace, or who even was his mother, that it makes it impossible to tell wether it's true or not. A DNA test would be a luxury considering how little is actually known of this man. So, without any real proof but claims; I sit on the fence for this one.

There is room to believe it's possible, especially since 1773 would have been when Hamilton had first landed himself in America and was quite an “active” young man at the time. Ex; his flirtatious friendship with Kitty Livingston (Catharine Livingston), whom was the daughter of William Livingston, governor of New Jersey. Hamilton had met and become well acquainted with the members of the Livingston family when he lived at Elizabethtown, New Jersey, soon after his arrival in this country. And Kitty was such a close friend of his, there are rumors they were “friends with benefits”. Though it's unlikely the two actually did anything until 1777, due to Livingston having been much older than AH at the time of his stay in Elizabethtown. Still, Hamilton is known for his lack of sexual restraint, and flirtatious character.

But at the same time, I remain doubtful. Hamilton, if following the common belief of his self proclaimed birthday, would have been sixteen at the time. That isn't to say he couldn't have possibly gotten a woman pregnant, but it's doubtful. Pregnant teenagers were not a light case in the 18th century, and surely Hamilton would know the severity of his actions had he recklessly slept with a woman (to which I'm hoping was similar to him in age). As women who had children before marriage were seen as shameful, and usually shunned from society. And without a husband, they would probably struggle to survive, and in many cases the child and/or mother would die. Part of me doubts Hamilton knew of this outcome and still decided to sleep with a woman. Especially if this woman was his young age.

But also, rumoring of celebrities (celebrities of their time at least) having illegitimate children was a very common claim. Many pulled this claim for many reasons, but one being; slander. As having illegitimate children was shameful and meant you usually went sleeping around with others. But I doubt this is the case, so the next option is hoping the supposed partner will lend over some cash to help support the child. It is possible, that this rumor came about due to the similar last names and was intended to pull AH down a few pegs by accusing him of sleeping with a lady. Which isn't horribly unlikely due to Hamilton's known rivals in the political world at the time. But also because of his infamous affair with Maria Reynolds, the rumor wouldn't have been taken with too much of a grain of salt due to his bad reputation. Or the mother could have started such hoping Hamilton would offer out some cash in pity, or to keep her quiet.

But all are hypothetical points that don't have much ground to them aside from “Well what if?”. But at the same time, with the little information we have, all we truly have are what if's. I'm just providing hypothetical options based on the time period. But overall in the end, we may never truly know, but we certainly can't right now due to the amount of knowledge we have currently.

[werevulvi]

I've recognized lately that I've gotten so detached from womanhood since transitioning. Whenever I try to engage in conversations about "women's issues" I feel so detached from a lot of them. Like female only spaces, and female social cues. I can't even list examples because I've forgotten what they are.

It's strange because the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to understand why I often don't feel comfortable in groups of only women. Individual women and mixed spaces, that's totally fine, as well as groups of only men, and individual men, but entire groups of only women? I feel estranged and have no idea how to navigate it. Because I don't understand and cannot act upon female social cues. Most of the female socialization I got as a kid, I actively resisted, and then trained away as an adult, and tried hard to learn male socialization stuff, both as a survival tactic and because of my dysphoria.

Gendered socialization is malluable traits. Kinda like how you can lose a language you learned as a child if you stop speaking it, and you can learn new languages.

It's not that I don't care about women's issues, I do. It's that I have trouble relating to that of those which pertain to socialization, as well as the body stuff which no longer applies to me as a result of my physical transition. Mammograms, unwanted facial hair, bras, the male gaze, street harassment, etc. Even menstruation is something I can only relate to during times I'm off the hormones.

This has made me adopt a crude, near animalistic view of my own womanhood. As the only things that I feel truly apply to me are vagina, vulva, uterus, cramps, female fertility, wide hips, sometimes periods, my hopes of carrying my own child someday, etc, and how these things still make me vulnerable to misogyny, sexual abuse, medical abuse, and so on. All of that still matters of course, but they are highly sensitive topics that I think not even most feminist want to converse about light heartedly. It's perhaps easier to talk about male violence in the streets or in the workplace, than male violence in the bedroom. I can understand that.

I know I still have trouble with labels, but it is for entirely social reasons. I get treated differently depending on how I label myself, and I'm not satisfied with either reaction. How I simply feel about myself, away from society, is that I'm a woman, because that's how I relate to my body. I see it from a lens of it being female, no matter how far I transition. And this is a positive feeling. It's a feeling of stability and safety, in that what I am isn't going to change or get snatched away from me, no matter how I look, how I'm perceived, however dysphoric I am, how much testosterone I shoot up my gluteus maximus, or how language and social norms may change. Something which merely is what it is, and this brings me comfort.

The kinship I feel with men still matters to me as well though, if not more. To be their equal as well as their opposite. This matters to my individuality, my personality, but is also in regards to how I relate to my sex. I tend to say lately that although I'm comfortable with being female, it really needs to be the specific kinda female that I've turned myself into. Not an unobtainable goal, but the goal that I have actually obtained, and which demonstrably differentiates me from the average woman.

I could never be comfortable being an intact female. I'm not friends with estrogen. And estrogen is biology, not social norms of femininity and masculinity. You can call estrogen masculine and strong all day if you want, it doesn't change what I feel about the actual physical and psychological effects of that hormone. That is my biggest problem with my sex, which I remedy by taking testosterone. Simple enough.

But then, what if it was possible to turn myself into a bio male? Well, first off, that's not possible, and I don't find it fruitful to entertain impossible ideas, but if it was possible, yes, I think I'd be more at peace then, generally. But because it's not possible, I can't think of myself as a man. I just can't wire my mind that way. For as long as I'm stuck being female, I'd rather make the most of it, try my hardest to love it in any way I can, mixing testosterone with radical acceptance.

And somewhere along that road, I found that it is possible for me to enjoy a few aspects of being female. I latched onto those aspects and bred and nurtured those feelings to grow larger. I chose to focus on what little I can enjoy about being female, without forcing myself to like what I hate about it. And in that grew a positive feeling to calling myself a woman.

So, my being a woman is not like I'm just suddenly "cis" and genuinely enjoy being female as a whole, as in something I'd choose to stay as in an ideal world where sex change was possible. It's a cope with a reality I cannot change. It truly does not matter what I'd do if a real sex change was possible, simply because that is not possible. What matters is what I'd ideally do with what is factually possible, right here and now.

And that kinda goes for sexism too. I can't hang my life choices up on what I'd do if sexism didn't exist. That's just as foolish as hanging my life choices up on what I'd do if sex change was real. Which is why I don't think it's bad to transition as a cope for sexism. Because sexism isn't going to disappear. At least not in our lifetime. So we might as well find ways to live with it. (Yes, we can strive for society to change too, of course.)

Because... if I could magically turn myself into a flying dragon, I'd probably jump on that opportunity too and then identify as a dragon. But it makes no sense why that should mean I'm "actually a dragon" in reality. Because it's not possible to transform into an actual dragon, no matter how badly I could wish that was the case. Idealistic identities make no sense to me. I'm a female in reality, as much as I'm a human, and there is nothing to change that. Then being a female man just makes no sense to me. A female is a woman.

Thing is that I'm not going to succumb to an idea of me "as a man" when it's physically impossible for me to change my sex to male for real. That's just painful. It's so painful that I have to push that thought out of my mind and never fully engage with it, because holding on to wanting something you can't have just feels like self-harm at this point. If it ever becomes possible thpugh, then we can have a discussion about it!

But back to reality. In reality my only options are to either 1) detransition and be a try-hard normie woman, 2) continue transition and be a freaky, bearded, masculine woman and embrace being "not like other girls" with that, 3) continue transition and pretend like that somehow makes me a man when it never felt like it, 4) abandon reality altogether and call myself nonbinary.

I'd rather fight myself through some aspects of my dysphoria to see the silver lining and hold onto it, no matter how much my ways of doing so my grate at other people. For example, I can only really like my genitals if I view them as purely sexual. Not as a hole (or two) for men to fill, but as bundles of delicate nerves meant to give me pleasure, whether in consensual company with others or entirely on my own.

Some clearly don't like viewing vaginas/vulvas as sexual organs, which is fine. If you'd rather focus on the fertility aspect, you do you. But it's important to me personally to first and foremost view my genitals as sexual, because I need to get away from the sexist idea that I'm just a baby-making machine for being female. I need for my genitals to not primarily be about fertility. I appreciate that aspect too, I do, but just not primarily.

And that is like... when other women tell me I cope in the wrong way, I get testy. Then we're not building any bridges with the "lost sisters" of the ftm community. Then we're being nitpicky about what "should" be good things about being a woman. Same with nagging about how medical transition is a kind of self-harm. It can be... but so can drinking water, if you do it badly, drink bad water, or have an allergy.

That's burning bridges that the rare few us gender critical ftm's try to build with women. Those of us who want a connection. We are going to need for that connection to be on our terms, not yours. Because we are the ones having significant trouble connecting with our sex to begin with.

I can't speak for others, but for me, that is a very delicate and sensitive process. It feels like something akin to accepting a terminal illness, and finding positive things about it, just to not get stuck in a mindset of complete and utter misery because you were dealt shit cards in life.

So while I can appreciate being a woman, it is still and probably always will be to a infinitesmally small extent and has to be on my terms. I need it to not fully succumb to the tragedy and misery of (seemingly) incurable dysphoria, but only to a certain extent. I'm probably never going to be what you want for me to be. I'm probably always going to be a little bit problematic in my man-envy, lack of understanding for female only bathrooms, and hatred of estrogen, and have moments where I say something insensitive about the female body. Because having a female body is always going to be at least a little bit of a battleground for me.

Furthermore, I'm probably never going to wanna center women in my life. I'm attracted to men and a hopeless romantic with a big appetite for sex, and I enjoy being "one of the guys" even if it is as a gnc woman. And the more I live, the more I realize that it's what I do that matters more to me, than what I am. I don't like being judged for what I am, only for what I do. Doing things considered masculine, bonding with men, living among men as though I was one of them, grooming my beard, playfighting, taking my body to its masculine potential, as well as completely non-gendered activities like writing my book, making art and petting cute cats. Simply enjoying life by doing what I enjoy, matters more to me than being a man, or woman.

I don't want my sex to matter so much. It matters to sex/dating and medical stuff, which is fine, but I don't want it to matter for anything else. Like in my friendships, family, hobbies, etc. For all that other stuff, I want for my masculinity to matter more, how I am as a person and what I like and dislike.

Mostly... I think I only really enjoy being a woman in the bedroom, in the private with a male lover I can trust and relax with. Because that's the only time I want my genitals to be involved. And I don't mean in a "play a woman role" kinda way with submission, femininity, lingerie, piv sex, or what have you. Sure, it can include that but it sure as hell also includes domination, masculinity, pegging and all sorts of other things too, which is kinda irrelevant.

No, I mean just me and my uncovered body with someone I trust to be that vulnerable with, and doing whatever the fuck we enjoy and get pleasure from. Because that is the only thing that truly makes me feel whole and connected with my body. That's the only time all my sex and gender stars and planets align in a perfect eclipse. That's "gender euphoria" god damn it.

I don't mean to go all AGP on you. I really have no desire to go swinging my "boypussy" around or in any other way be a creep, like the "girldicks" of the internet do. No, I'm only talking about consensual stuff with trusting (and preferably loving) adults, in the privacy of my own (or his) home.

And I bring this up because knowing this is the heart and center of my womanhood, it makes me apprehensive to bring it up publically, literally because I don't wanna be a creep, which is probably a big reason why I may seem more disconnected from my sex than I actually am.

Because behind those closed doors, I don't even think about me being trans or different from women in general, or similar to them. Then I just exist as a complete entity that just so happens to be of the female sex. But I can't be that, nor show that, in any other aspect of life. Because no other aspect of being a woman feels good to me. But that that one aspect truly speaks to me and feel absolutely amazing, I think is so important that it is in fact crucial.

Because... the first and foremost reason people are either male or female is for reproduction, and thus... sex. Which is why I feel like all the other shit, social shit, tacked onto bio sex, including hanging out with other women just because we're all women and somehow are supposed to be able to get along solely because of that, is uncomfortable and ultimately pointless distractions. Nature's purpose of my sex is the only thing I like it for, but that is a giant thing to like your sex for.

But would I then prefer if I could reproduce as a male? No. Actually no. I just prefer all the other things about being male. The genital configuration, what sex would be like, what I'd look like, all the secondary functions of sex, the male hormones, etc. And why is that? Simple. I just don't want for 99% of my body to be designed around what I do 1% of my life. I'm a woman only in the bedroom because that's the only place being a woman has a purpose.