#;; tell them what i hoped would be impossible || intro
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Derek Hale Intro
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be impossible
[ TYLER HOECHLIN, CIS-MALE, HE/HIM ] - was that DEREK HALE i saw arriving into Beacon Hills today? i hear that they are 26 and are a WEREWOLF. They are known to remind others of DIRTY LEATHER JACKETS & SMALL TOWN COUNTRY BAR MUSIC. I do wonder what adventures are in store for them? [Tis I again, Ana, EST, 28]
We are following Canon all the way through (because Im typically a jerk who likes to put my muses through pain with divergence BUT Derek was screwed enough so we keeping it k? k). At the end of Season 4, Derek is killed by a berserker, but is reborn as an evolved werewolf with the ability to transform into a full wolf, the most powerful transformation a werewolf can achieve (scuse the feels here bc its something his mama could do and UGH HE WANTS TO MAKE HER PROUD OKAY. He has no real ambition to run a pack, though he does still have the alpha tendencies at times. He just knows he doesn't play well with others.
My boy has a bunch of complex ptsd from the sexual and emotional abuse as a kid, not to mention his own rough choices (RIP Paige/Erica/Boyd/ETC bc he carries all of these deaths close to his chest). He's grumpy, unnapproachable and will not hesitate to tell you to fuck off. But.. he will also not hesitate to offer a hand if needed (even if he complains while he does it)
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More on HSN autism and poop I guess
My most popular post by far is my one about my struggle with fecal smearing not sure why. I guess I’ll give you guys a follow up cause I want to talk more about incontinence and how it has affected my life. Sorry new to tumblr and I don’t remember what tags to use so OCD people can filter so I hope this intro is enough of a trigger warning.
I’m gonna be blunt about it, what’s worse then smearing though is just being in public stuck in a shitty diaper really for a couple reasons. I can’t stop myself from having bowel accidents in public, and when I’m having them too I *look* like I’m having one, I can’t stop my legs from squatting like a little kid and there’s often an accompanying sound to go with it. I wish I could say this in a nicer way but I basically go from the tolerable quirky R word to the ew so disgusting R word real fast. People go from smiling at me at least to going to openly degrading me and making comments like I’m not in the room. People get bothered real fast, I can’t blame them it smells bad but it doesn’t change the fact on how I feel inside once I became old enough to realize this was going on. It’s hard for my parents and caregivers to find a place in public to change me and it’s often impossible. The restaurants I eat at, the places so visit, are all dependent on me having a single room bathroom because a proper adult changing station is a pipe dream.
God forbid I have a diaper blowout (where poop goes up the back and out the diaper), then whatever small amount empathy people have goes quickly out the window. I used to like taking the bus with my dad, I can’t do it anymore. I had one blowout on the bus and people acted like their life was in danger “ew ew ew oh my god the r word shit everywhere ew” from someone not even close to where I was sitting, people telling my dad how my mom should of handled her pregnancy, I learned what an abortion was that day. People become blunt when they are mildly inconvenienced with a bad smell and they think it gives them a right to dehumanize someone. I know it’s disgusting but maybe there’s something wrong with me but I don’t think the reaction warrants it. Not when I’ve been at people’s houses and the dog shits everywhere and people go aww he’s just a little guy to the dog. I wish I got that kind of reaction as an autistic child, infantilization is at least better then telling me I should have never been born.
I wanted to write more but sorry I’m crying now. I guess I’ll end it on a positive note. I mentioned in a previous post how one of my high school friends, who grew up with little brothers and cousins, had no problems changing me so we could hang out. I’m not saying that’s an accommodation I expect anyone at all to make for me who’s not a parent or a caregiver getting paid for it, but the fact that he never acted grossed out when cleaning me healed something in me. I would be so embarrassed shitting myself in front of my “cool” neurotypical friends, I would be tearing up and I opened up about it and how embarrassing it is and he basically told me fuck the haters and it’s not something I can control. I didn’t ask for it. A part of me believed I was doing on purpose and carried guilt and guilt leads to meltdowns and smearing incidents. “What do you mean all the cool kids poop their pants” he would say sometimes to make me laugh. During our hangout sessions I would whisper to him “cool pants” or text him that so he could discreetly take me to the bathroom. He’d do it wether he was drunk, stoned, or sober. And like I said in the other post, he was the only reason I was able to have the freedom to hang out without a caretaker or parent in high school and we could all smoke weed together without my parents knowing. I think they did know what I was doing and just let me have my teenage fun, I think my parents thought the weed chilled me out too, which is true, so they let me do it but my cannabis use is a topic for another day.
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This month's @jilychallenge took a while to get started but when I had the idea this morning it came through!
Prompt: “everything is just a competition for you… isn’t it?” “isn’t it for you, too?” & the trope Fake dating I only really focused on the second one. Partner: @annabtg AO3
She could have picked any time to ask him a favour, honestly, there would have been plenty of times better than rushing this between classes. But her Intro to Alchemy class was right next to his Ancient Runes and it made sense to walk together. It made sense to fill the silence with idle chatter, the weather, their class and inevitably the Hogsmeade trip that weekend.
Lily sternly reminded herself that there was no time like the present. Especially because it was already damn near impossible for her to catch a moment without Sirius in earshot. So, she sucked in a deep breath through her teeth, which faltered their steps. “You alright, Evans?” James asked at the sound and presented her with the opportunity.
“Yeah,” she replied, her voice flipping unconvincingly, and an awkward smile made the corners of her lip jump up. “Yes,” she said again, this time more firmly, before rushing into her next words before James could get a remark in. “I’ve been meaning to ask you for advice, rather an insight.”
James’ eyebrows slid up towards his hairline and he nodded slowly. “An insight? Into what?” he replied, his curiosity carefully measured, as if she had not learned to read him like her favourite book over the past few months.
Lily wrung the strap of her bag, hoping to dispel some of the nervous energy that settled in her fingers. “Well, I was thinking of asking Sirius to go to Hogsmeade with me. Think he’d be keen?” The words stumbled out of her mouth clumsily, an uneven rhythm that betrayed her uncertainty. Still, her gaze did not waver from his face.
So, she saw his eyes narrow and the smile on his lips grow tight while he processed her words. She watched James run his tongue over his teeth under his lips before nodding curtly. “I reckon he’d be keen, you two are mates,” he answered after, what she assumed was him assessing her intention behind her question.
“I wasn’t going to ask as mates, though,” she pointed out and watched the mildly amused mask slip for a moment.
His jaw tight, teeth clenched as James smiled back at him. “Didn’t know you fancied him like that,” he remarked, his tone flat.
“What’s not like?”
“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know if he’s keen but…”
“But what?”
They paused at the door of his classroom and they peered inside to see Sirius already in his seat. “But nothing,” James muttered, his shoulders slumping as he deflated. “I’ll check with him, alright? See you for rounds.”
“Not if I see you first,” Lily shot back with a bright smile, her fingers brushing along his sleeve before grabbing his hand and giving it a brief squeeze. Only to turn away before he could react.
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Come evening, Lily stood waiting for rounds when around the corner came, not her Head Boy. She tried to not be disappointed at the sight of Remus, she liked him, and it would hurt him to see her be less than glad to see him. But she was disappointed. “He wasn’t feeling up for it?” she asked when she fell into step with him.
“He’s been…”
“Moping?”
“You could say that,” Remus said with a scoff and an affectionate smile on his face. “Care to tell me why James is being a miserable sod, or should I guess?” He gave her a side-eyed glance and a bump with his hip, trying to encourage her to say something.
Lily just hummed and shrugged while pulling a face. “Nothing that didn’t need to be done,” she answered, a smug smile playing around her lips. “So, neither of them said anything to you then?”
Remus stopped and grabbed her hand when Lily didn’t to tug her around. “Neither?”
Well, shit. “Freudian slip,” Lily said, her lips pressed into a thin line. She made an attempt to pull him along to continue their rounds. Remus wouldn’t budge. He just dug in his heels and let her attempt to move his dead weight. “Oh come off it!” she complained, trying to put all of her weight into pulling.
“Tell me,” Remus said calmly, letting his hand go slack, and she could feel her fingers slip. Lily was forced to put her efforts to move him on pause. “How bad can it really be?” At that, Lily clicked her tongue and decided to completely give up on making him move; Releasing Remus’ hand to tuck hers under her armpit, hugging her own chest with a sour expression on her face.
Lily jutted her head towards the empty hallway, her eyes darting around the collection of paintings—One more willing to wag their tongue than the next—and hoped that Remus would understand.
Reluctantly, Remus followed and walked beside her in companionable silence while they rounded off the first floor.
They were stuck on a staircase that decided to move while they were on it when she spoke. “I asked James to ask Sirius to come to Hogsmeade,” she explained, her head moving from side to side as she made her confession.
“Is that it?” Remus chuckled and she didn’t need to look to know he was wrinkling his nose in amusement.
The laugh died when she added: “As my date.” The silence that followed was heavy, filled with shock and confusion. It lasted long enough that Lily was irked by the way it made her nervous and decided to shoot Remus a glare.
He was clearly trying to work out what to say, his mouth opening and closing like a fish on dry land. So, she gave him a moment to recover and climb to the top step, waiting for the stair to connect once more.
“Well,” Remus eventually started, his tongue pressed to the back of his teeth while he, again, mulled over his words. “That is not something I expected to hear.”
Lily deadpanned and breezed out through her nose. “If Potter wanted me to go with him, he should have asked,” she said casually, a knowing smile spreading across her lips. Which did not go unnoticed by Remus who only had to raise a brow to entice the words out of her. “I’ve asked him out at least five times now and he somehow always misconstrues my intentions. So, I decided to give him a little nudge.”
“By asking out his best mate?”
“By having his best mate stand me up and be forced to finally take me on that bloody date himself,” she corrected and watched as Remus’ attitude pivoted from shocked to impressed.
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The morning of the Hogsmeade trip, Lily’d made sure that she was early just in case James decided to head out before everyone else. She was standing reading as she leaned against a pillar in the courtyard, huddled in her cloak against the morning chill when he passed her by.
“Big plans?” Lily asked from the shadows and watched James jolt in surprise, turning to look where her voice had come from. She flashed him a smile and stepped into the early afternoon light.
James offered her only a polite smile, eyes making a quick sweep from crown to sole, no doubt taking in her date outfit. A dress she knew he liked, she’d caught him staring at her in it several times. It had been a deliberate choice, and she was glad she made it when she watched him gulp. “No, just a quick trip. Nothing special,” he said with a shrug.
Lily smiled softly and hummed. “Picking up some supplies?”
“That’s the plan.” He nodded and he jumped up to his hair to smooth it back. “What about you? Have anything special planned for your date?” It was clear that he was uncomfortable asking this, but he really was doing his best to be a good friend.
This realisation almost made Lily cave and confess the plan to him, but they were so close. All she had to do now was deliver the hook. “Oh just, you know, date things. That is if Sirius hasn’t overslept too much. Was he on his way when you headed out?”
James’ expression shifted the instant she asked her question. “No? Was he supposed to be?”
Lily just nodded and hummed innocently, like she didn’t know this was going to happen. “We were supposed to meet fifteen minutes ago.”
He blinked a couple of times, turned to the castle and then back at Lily before petting his pocket, presumably for the super secret mirror only everyone knew about.”Are you sure? Cause he was still in bed when I left.”
“Yeah, pretty sure we said ten,” she told him, forcing the corners of her lips downward, making a real attempt to look disappointed. “I’m sure he’s just forgotten the time and is rushing now,” she said optimistically, knowing full well that he wouldn’t be there for at least another forty-five minutes to check if things worked out.
James’ brows knit together while his focus shifted between her and the bridge leading to town, his teeth massaging his bottom lip. “You know what? How about we wait for him to show over a butterbeer?”
“I thought you wanted to be quick?”
“Well, I also want my best mate to not be an arse but seems like I won’t be getting my way today regardless. So, I’d rather spend it with good company.”
“You don’t have to chaperone me, I’ll be fine,” Lily protested, mostly for posterity.
James laughed at this and offered her his arm. “It’s no bother, I hate seeing you disappointed.”
She gladly hooked his arm through his, letting herself be pulled closer, leaning into him as they started down the path to the village. “So, you’re my substitute date then?”
“I wouldn’t say that, but I could be if you’d want me to be.”
Lily fell silent for a moment, letting the words hang between them as she worked up the courage to say the words. “I’d love a real date with you.”
They stopped suddenly, James pulling her to a halt so abruptly she nearly pulled out of his grip. “Do you mean that?” His voice was smaller than she’d ever heard it before, uncharacteristically uncertain.
“Yes.” was all the answers she could give him, all the answers he should need.
The crease between James’ brow deepened, the look in his eyes intense. “Then why didn’t you just ask me?”
A pained smile painted across Lily’s lip, recognizing the pain behind the words. “I did. I have. You just…”
“All those times? The last trip? The lake? The library?”
Lily nodded as he listed several of her attempts to do something romantic with him, and he’d assumed it had been just her being friendly. “All those times,” she confirmed, her shoe scuffing the cobbles.
James raked a hand over his face and groaned. “So, then, why ask Sirius?”
“To get your attention,” she replied simply, matter-of-factly. “If you’d think we’re dating, if you’d think that he stood me up you’d do… Well, this.” Lily motioned vaguely between them and the world around them.
James sucked his teeth and looked away, clearly frustrated. “It worked,” he muttered, clearly irritated.
She stepped forward, closing the space between them, and lifted her hand to cradle his cheek. A rush of warmth crashed over her when he immediately leaned into her palm, his eyes closed. “You are both the worst,” he complained as he turned his head to kiss her palm.
“Bad enough to not want that date?” she questioned, her heart hammering against her ribs, fast and painful.
“No, I, shamefully, have to admit that you need to do a lot more and a lot worse than this to make me turn down a proper date with you,” he told her earnestly, his eyes soft as he looked at her again, this time feeling different.
“Then let’s go.”
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SAME AS IT EVER WAS
01: AND YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF (WELL, HOW DID I GET HERE?)
pairing: peter parker/mutant!reader summary: you tutor peter parker. you dodge a robbery. you get run over and are somehow unhurt. all in a day's work, i guess. word count: 4.1k+
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You were beginning to regret promising your tutoring services to Professor Sorensen.
The early morning sky was pink outside the library’s picture windows, and you stared wistfully as you spread your things out across one of the empty tables, wishing that you were still in bed. But Sorensen was maybe your favorite professor ever, and when she stopped you after class last week and asked you to tutor for the general education English classes in exchange for a meager pay and some extra points on your final essay, you didn’t have the heart to tell her no.
You couldn’t imagine, though, what kind of linguistically-inept STEM major would be desperate enough for tutoring to schedule an appointment with you at eight o’clock on a Wednesday morning. You kind of wanted to beat them over the head with your laptop. Instead, you took a searing gulp of your coffee and opened your current required reading for Sorensen’s class. If you were going to be up this early, you might as well make some use of the time beyond tutoring.
“Excuse me,” a voice calling your name cut through the otherwise silent main reading room of the library a few minutes later, and you looked up to find a tall boy with messy brown hair standing at the other side of your table. He had a frayed backpack slung over one shoulder, and a look of exhaustion in his brown eyes that was very familiar to you. “Am I in the right place for Professor Sorensen’s English tutoring?”
“Uh, yeah,” you nodded, shutting your book and briefly glancing down at the email from Sorensen open on your laptop to catch his name. “Peter Parker?”
“That’s me,” he nodded, offering a small smile as he slid into the chair to the right of you.
“So, you’re taking Beginnings of American Lit with Professor Liu, right?” you asked, checking the email once more.
“Yeah. She’s kind of a tough grader, and if I don’t score an A on my next essay it’ll fuck with my GPA,” Peter explained, glancing over at you sheepishly as he dug through his bag, eventually producing a thin stack of rumpled papers. “I was hoping we could edit this one together? Maybe you’ll be able to explain what she’s looking for, ‘cause I really don’t know.”
“Yeah, Liu is… particular, but not impossible,” you told him, reaching forward to slide the essay toward you. “Luckily, I’ve taken her twice, so I think I’ll be able to help.”
“Oh, thank god. I was starting to feel hopeless,” Peter said, and you couldn’t help but snort at the complete earnestness in his voice.
“So, I take it you’re not a humanities major,” you observe, and Peter laughs, shaking his head.
“Definitely not. I’m a chemistry major, actually. Science has always come easily to me, but writing not so much. S’why I put off taking my literature requirement until Junior year.”
“That’s what I did with my lab science requirement,” you said. “And now I’m struggling through a biology lab that might actually kill my GPA. Okay, so, your intro paragraph looks pretty good. Thesis is solid. I think your trouble is probably in the body– Liu is a real stickler for thorough analysis of quotes and citations. And by thorough, I mean extensive to the point of near-redundancy.”
“Alright, I already know I’m gonna have to beef up the middle, in that case,” Peter sighed, taking the first page of his essay to look over the few line edits you had penned in with red ink. “Hey, about your biology lab. I can help, if you want. As a thank you for helping me with Liu’s class.”
“Yeah? That’d be a lifesaver, honestly,” you said, raising your brow at him. “I don’t really know anyone in the department to help me find a reliable tutor. Not that I know you’re a reliable tutor. You could be a really shitty chemist, for all I know.”
Peter let out a theatrical gasp, bringing a hand to his chest in mock hurt. “I’ll have you know that I’m a very good chemist. And, lucky for you, a perfectly average biologist. Good enough to get you to pass that lab with an A, I bet.”
“Well, then, I’m gonna hold you to that, Mr. Parker.”
“Just Peter’s fine. Mr. Parker makes me sound geriatric.”
“Okay, Peter,” you hum. “Look, this quote you have at the top of this paragraph? It’ll be really easy to beef up your analysis if you introduce how it speaks on gender roles in American culture at the time. In fact, you could probably get a whole extra paragraph out of it, if you provide enough context.”
“Would you mind writing that in the margin? I’ll forget otherwise,” Peter asked and you complied, writing the potential edit in small, neat letters next to the paragraph. “If you’re free Friday afternoon, we could go through some of your biology work.”
“I actually am free then,” you said, eyes roaming over the last paragraph of his essay. You scribbled a few notes and line edits in, before stacking the pages neatly and sliding them back towards Peter. “Tell you what, you make the edits we talked about today, and we can go over the next version of your essay then, too, yeah? Make sure it’s up to Professor Liu’s standard?”
“You’re an angel,” Peter said, glancing up from where he was absorbing your edits to shoot you a grin. “Hey, sorry to be so abrupt, but I gotta run. How does same spot, two o’clock on Friday sound?”
“Works for me. Thanks for volunteering to help, Parker.”
“ ‘Course. We should exchange numbers, in case anything comes up. I never check my email,” Peter said, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. He passed it along to you, the contacts page opened, and you entered your information, sending a text to yourself so you had his information in return.
“See you Friday,” you smiled, handing the phone back to him.
“Friday,” Peter confirmed, taking a few backward steps away from the table before turning around. He glanced over his shoulder once more, waving, before he disappeared into the hall.
***
“God, this shift couldn’t be any fuckin’ slower,” Mickey groaned, dropping her head against the bodega’s countertop. Her red curls fanned all around her head, dripping over the edge of the counter.
“Closing shift is always slow, Mick,” you reminded her, leaning against the wall with your arms folded over your chest. The thick of the after work rush had been over for about an hour, leaving the bodega deserted, aside from the two of you and Gary, the ancient orange bodega cat.
“Dontcha ever just wish somethin’ interesting would happen around here?” she asked, picking her head up in order to blow a big pink bubble from her lips.
“Interesting things happen in this city every day,” you countered. “Spider-Man fights some new fuckin’ loser every week, man, and that’s just him. Daredevil broke Mrs. Llewellyn’s kitchen window, like, four days ago.”
“That shit’s not interesting anymore; you said it yourself, it happens every day,” Mickey said, stepping around the counter to pretend to organize the shelves. “Tell you what’d be interesting: if we found out who Daredevil or Spider-Man or any of the others are beneath the mask. And if not that, I’d settle for Daredevil crashing through my bedroom window tonight. That man is fine.”
“How would you know? Nobody’s ever seen his face.”
“He’s built, baby. That’s how I know,” Mickey scoffed.
You shrugged. “I’d rather the cape types stay away from my bedroom window. Or my general vicinity. I’ve got enough going on between class and this job and tutoring without getting involved in one of their situations.”
“Oh come on, you’re telling me the thought of some sexy superhero literally crashing into your life isn’t appealing at all?”
“No, dude. I don’t want the drama. Or, I’m sorry, the adventure,” you doubled down. “You can have it.”
“Amen,” Mickey nodded. “I hope Daredevil heard you say that somehow.”
Before you could respond, the mostly quiet night was cut through with the sound of police sirens, loud and close and then fading slightly as they passed down the street.
“Wonder what’s going on,” you murmured, craning your neck to follow the red and blue lights down the block.
“Whatever it is, I hope a man in tights responds to it.”
“God, Mickey, you are incorrigible,” you groaned, turning away from the window and grasping the handle of the broom, looking for something to do.
“Don’t use your fancy English major words on me, woman.”
“Incorrigible is not a fancy–” you started, but were cut off by your phone ringing in your pocket, the specific song you assigned to Mr. Browne, your boss.
“Hey, bossman, what’s up?” you asked, answering. Concern laced your voice; it wasn’t like Mr. Browne to call during closing shift. He trusted you and Mickey not to burn the place down, and his watching reruns of Jeopardy! time was basically sacred.
“Honey, listen,” his gruff voice filtered through the speaker. “I want you and Mickey to close up and go on home now.”
“What? Why? There’s still an hour until closing,” you asked, furrowing your brow.
“I just saw on the news that there’s a robbery going down in the neighborhood, and I don’t need you girls getting caught up in any danger, okay?”
“Oh, guess that explains the police cars,” you said, more to yourself than to him.
“You see? Lock up and get out of there,” he said, his voice firmer. “And no dilly-dallying, you hear? I got a bad feeling.”
“Okay, Mr. Browne, you got it. We’ll close up now and go straight home,” you promised.
“Good. Just feed Gary before you go.”
“Will do. G’night, bossman,” you said, before hanging up the phone.
“What’s that all about?” Mickey asked, brushing a piece of her wild hair away from her face.
“Apparently those police cars that went by are responding to a robbery in the neighborhood,” you informed her. “Mr. Browne wants us to lock up and go home now before we get caught up in any of the trouble.”
“Must be my lucky day,” Mickey grinned. “You get the keys, I’ll feed Gar.” You did as she said, retrieving the keys, your jacket, and your bag from behind the counter. Already, you were lost in thoughts of going home and crashing immediately in bed. You had been out and about for over twelve hours that day already, and you were practically asleep on your feet. You had half a mind to walk down the block and thank the robbers for cutting your shift short.
A minute later, the two of you were standing out on the sidewalk. You could hear shouts and the sirens as more police responded to the scene, even the drone of a news copter overhead. The robbery must be closer than you expected, and maybe a bigger problem than you were assuming, too. There was a bank two blocks down and one over; you wondered if it was all going down over there.
“Alright, text me the minute you get home,” Mickey said sternly.
“You, too,” you responded. The two of you lived in opposite directions, so you wouldn’t have the comfort of each other’s company on the walk home.
“We’ll be fine,” Mickey responded with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I bet the neighborhood is safer than usual– bet nobody else will try shit with the place crawling with so many cops. But still text me when you get home, got it?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She pulled you into a quick, tight hug before waving and heading down the block towards home. You turned in the opposite direction, back towards your apartment in Hell’s Kitchen. The night was cool for the beginning of October, and you pulled your flimsy zip-up tighter around your middle, hiding your hands deep in the pockets. Your head swam with all the things you needed to do for the week, wondering if you should get a jump on some of it with your newfound hour of free time, or actually give yourself a rest for once. You were leaning toward the former; if you hurried, you could probably finish the reading you started at the library before Peter showed up, and the corresponding question set.
With that thought in mind, you cut through a nearby alley, shaving off a block from your walk. You wouldn’t normally, but you had a feeling that Mickey was right, the high concentration of cops in the area would deter any other criminals. Probably you’d be fine. You stuffed your earbuds in your ears and pressed play on whatever had last been going, lost in thought as you tried to plan the rest of your week around class and work shifts and your new tutoring session with Peter.
As you cut through a second alley, bringing you just half a block from home, chin tucked in and head down against the wind, you didn’t hear the squeal of tires as they turned around a corner and sped down the street you were just on. You didn’t hear as they abruptly turned into the alley, doors scraping against a dumpster. The hair-raising screech of metal on metal finally cut through your music, and you turned around just in time to find a large, black SUV barrelling straight towards you.
There was nowhere to go. The alley was hardly wider than the car itself, and fear or shock or some horrible mix of both at the sight of it coming toward you had rooted you to one spot on the wet asphalt.
Fuck. I am about to die, you thought as you stared down the headlights, so bright you couldn’t see whoever was driving the thing.
The next ten seconds– because, really, it couldn’t have been any longer than that– occurred in a blur. The impact, your body on the wet ground. Front right tire crushing over your torso, the back tire following half a second later. Vaguely, with the small part of your brain where synapses still seemed to be firing, you knew there must be immeasurable pain, but all you felt was cold and static. There were too many things happening at once, too many pains and thoughts all garbled together that you couldn’t feel or register any of it.
You laid there, staring up at the dark, gusty sky, expecting death to collect you at any moment. When, after several minutes of slow blinking and shallow breathing, you were still alive, you figured you might have experienced a miracle. Maybe the tires had passed over you in just the right way to preserve your life? Not that you thought such a thing was possible. Getting crushed by a speeding SUV felt like a very final kind of thing.
Slowly, your senses started coming back to you. Hearing first, as you registered sirens rushing past at the mouth of the alley. You grimaced, tensing as you waited for them to also cut down the alley and actually kill you this time, but they passed by without incident. The pain started next: a horrible, dull ache across your ribs and a sharper, prickling kind of hurt along your shoulder blades, but nothing like you thought you should have been experiencing. You were worried that it was still all a trick of the mind, that you’d muster up the courage to lift your head and look down to take stock of the damage and find your torso resembling roadkill more than anything human. But you couldn’t lay there forever, you reasoned, and so went to work testing appendages to see if they were in order.
You wiggled your fingers and toes first, surprised, frankly, that you were able to do so. If you could wiggle your toes, everything below your ribs must still be connected to everything above your ribs. Good sign. You bent your arms at the elbow next, which reignited the flame of pain in your shoulder blades, but they moved fine otherwise. Bent your knees, turned your head from side to side. You were… okay, you concluded. Physically not dying in a dirty alley, at least.
A jolt of effort, and you sat up all the way, despite the protest of pain across your ribs and shoulder blades. Looking down, you took stock of the dark tire track running across the front of your sweater, but more importantly, the very uncrushed nature of your ribs and internal organs.
“How the fuck,” you muttered to yourself, brushing your hands tentatively down your front. The contact of your palms against your middle was like irritating a nasty bruise, but that was it. That was… impossible, you were pretty sure. Maybe you could gaslight yourself into believing it was if it had been some tiny, dinghy little car that had run you over, but it was a fucking monstrous SUV.
Blinking, you reached back toward the wall behind you and used it to hoist yourself up onto your feet. A terrible panic was creeping up on you now, and you preferred to deal with that in the privacy of your bedroom, not on the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. As you turned to stumble your way out of the alley, you noticed something else: the pavement beneath where you had fallen was crushed in a peculiar shape, almost like wings and six feet across.
“What the fuck,” you said, louder this time. Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck. This situation was getting stranger by the second, and you were pretty sure you were about to experience a mental break, if you weren’t already.
Maybe I actually am dead, and none of this is happening right now, you mused as the alley spat you back out on the street. Your feet headed in the direction of your apartment on their own accord, your mind caught up in bright headlights and wing shapes stamped into asphalt. A horrible headache was building behind your eyes, and all you wanted was to get to the safety of your own home, dead or not.
The walk seemed to take an eternity in your dazed state, but eventually the familiar redbrick corner building that had been your home for the last two years loomed in front of you. You fumbled in your jacket pocket for your key, gripping it in your shaky fist as you punched in the key code to the front door. Up four flights of stairs, a fight with the apartment door as the lock rejected your key like always. You went through the motions in a dream state, so many thoughts tumbling through your head, but none of them sticking. Before opening the door, you shucked off your sweater and balled it up in your arms, in case either of your roommates were up and about. You really had no idea how you’d be able to explain the tire tracks across the front.
Inside, the lights were dim and a Bob’s Burgers rerun was playing at low-volume on the little television. An electric blue pixie cut shot up over the back of the couch at the sound of the opening door.
“You’re home early,” your cousin, Winona, called to you. “What’s the deal?”
“Uh…robbery. Down the block. Mr. Browne wanted us to leave early to be, um, safe,” you stammered out, toeing your shoes off at the door. Each subtle movement sent more pain lancing through your ribs, and you struggled to keep a straight, unbothered face.
Winona wasn’t convinced. After living together for two years and knowing you since birth, she was familiar with all of your little idiosyncrasies. She could tell when you were just a little irritated, so of course she could tell when you… well, when whatever the fuck just happened, happened to you. Her thick, dark brows drew in until they met at the center, brown eyes narrowing as she scrutinized you.
“What’s going on with you?” Your cousin was not one to beat around the bush.
“What do you mean?” you asked, skirting around the question.
“Somethin’s wrong with our girl?” a sleepy voice called from the other end of the couch. A second later, Odie’s head of wild brown waves popped up over the back of the couch. Winona’s best friend since grade school and your other roommate, she was extremely protective over you. Always had been, since she met you when you started freshman year at Midtown High and she and Winona were seniors.
“There’s nothing wrong,” you huffed. Even that extra expansion of your lungs caused the pain to flare. “I’m just tired. It was a long day.”
Winona frowned at you, clearly disbelieving. “I made lasagna earlier. You hungry?”
“Ate a bunch of junk at work with Mick. But I’ll bring some with me for lunch tomorrow,” you promised, and wrenched open your bedroom door and disappeared behind it before either of them could question you further. You pressed yourself against the door once it was closed, then jumped away quickly as the action sent an explosion of pain through your shoulder blades. You’d forgotten about it that fast.
“Fuck,” you whispered, closing your eyes against the burning of tears suddenly threatening to come. “Oh, god. What the fuck. What the fuck.”
What was even the next move? You couldn’t very well go out there and tell Winona you’d been crushed by an SUV earlier in the night. Nothing about your current state would corroborate the claim, why would she, or anyone else, believe you? And honestly, that was the least of your worries. More pressing issues: why weren’t you crushed by the SUV? Why weren’t you fucking dead? What was up with the weird, wing-shaped damage in the street below you? What had actually happened in that alley?
Something was deeply, deeply not right. You could feel the wrongness of it all buzzing through every inch of your body. You knew that the feeling would overwhelm you if you let it, and you were dangerously close to just sinking to the floor and letting it take you.
Your phone buzzed in your back pocket. Opening your eyes, you fished it out and brought the too-bright screen to your eyes.
Make it home okay? The text from Mickey read.
No, you wanted to say. Got hit by a fucking car but somehow I think that might be the least of my problems. I think something’s really wrong.
Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, but of course you didn’t type it. You shot off a text confirming that you did– because really, you supposed, you did get home okay in some sense of the word– and asked if she did, too.
After Mickey texted back that she did get home safe, you set about the task of peeling off your uniform. Every movement hurt like a bitch, and you reminded yourself every five seconds that you should be grateful for the pain. You didn’t even have a single broken bone. You weren’t dead. You could handle some aches and bruising.
You worked your jeans off first, then your shirt and bra, heaping them in the corner of your room and plucking a random t-shirt and pajama shorts out of your drawer. Before pulling on the t-shirt, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror tucked in the corner. As you suspected, a thick line of bruises was already purpling along your ribs, the width of a car tire. You sighed, turning to see how far they stretched on either side and paused when your back came into view.
Two thick lines of what looked like red, irritated scar tissue traced along the lines of your shoulder blades. It looked as though someone had surgically cut them open, and recently. You brought a hand to your mouth, suppressing the gasp threatening to worm its way out. You felt like all the crap you ate at work was about to make a reappearance.
Those certainly hadn’t been there this morning. You would know: you stood naked in front of this very mirror after your shower, sleepily trying to pick out your outfit. The skin of your back had been smooth, unscarred. Obviously. You would have remembered if you had gone through something that would have resulted in scars like this.
“Okay, no,” you muttered, throwing the t-shirt over your head as quickly as possible in your bruised, hurting state. This was all too much to deal with in one night, you decided suddenly. You were tired and hurting and you had a busy fucking day tomorrow, damn it.
You pulled your blankets back and turned off the light, climbing gingerly into bed. Maybe if you were lucky, you would wake up in the morning to all of this having been some wild fucking nightmare. Not that you were ever that lucky.
#peter parker x reader#peter parker#spider-man x reader#spider-man#marvel x reader#marvel#andrew garfield x reader#andrew garfield#marvel comics
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With my 6th sense. (1)
Pairing: Hunter x fem! jedi reader
Rating: this is the first chapter let's take it slow
Wordcount: 2.2K
Chapters: (2) (3) (4)* (5)* (*not posted yet)
Warnings and tags: use of (Y/N) but I keep it as minimum as possible tho my writing style is in 3rd person, so it's a bit difficult! apart from that none really, just introduction to the story, slight mentions of war maybe, but i can already tell you, this will be an ''i hate you-to-love you'' (calling them enemies doesn't really fit in)
Summary: (This story happens about around a year before The Bad Batch is introduced in The Clone Wars) Another day, another suicide mission for the squad. This time commanded by a jedi general they've never hear about.
A/N: I'm back after MONTHS with a new hyperfixation and no one can stop me. I'm jumping really late to TBB ship but I guess I would give it a try. Or write it for myself. As always, I'll make it a small series, and I hope all of you will enjoy it ♥ (my main language is not english so sorry if there are some mistakes)
Side note: PLEASE read the intro with the voice of The Clone Wars intro, thanks.
Coruscant!
In the aftermath of the Republic's recent defeat in the growing war in the outer rim, the Jedi Order finds itself at a crossroads, and generals such as Mace Windu, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and (Y/N) convene to strategize their next move in a desperate bid to stop the advance of the Separatist invasions. As they discuss their next course of action, each voice carries the weight of the galaxy's fate. For the Republic's survival hangs in the balance, and only through unity and courage can they hope to emerge victorious against the relentless onslaught of their enemies.
"Feels like they can predict our every move," Master Mace Windu exhales, his eyes glued to the holomap of the base, his hand thoughtfully stroking his chin. The dim light of the briefing room casts a stern shadow on his face, reflecting the gravity of the situation.
"And it's not just that," Obi-Wan interjects, his voice carrying a mix of frustration and concern. "During our last mission, Anakin and I encountered a new type of battle droid..." He sighs heavily, shaking his head as if trying to dispel the memory. His eyes narrow as he recalls the encounter. "This droid kept its distance, observing us while we dealt with all the others. By the time it engaged, it had analyzed, memorized, and adapted to our combat patterns. It knew exactly how to dodge our attacks and counterattack almost instantly."
"Are you serious?" (Y/N) asks, her brows furrowed in disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest. That sounds like a nightmare. Sure, a sniper could take it out from a distance, but up close? For them Jedi, trained in close combat, it could be a real pain in the ass.
"Yeah, and that's putting it mildly," Obi-Wan replies, his voice tinged with worry. "Anakin believes it's still in the development phase. The droid's assembly was far from perfect, almost like it was a prototype. But if they keep working on it, refining it... it could become a serious threat."
The room falls into a tense silence, so thick it almost feels suffocating. The three Jedi and Commander Cody, standing to Obi-Wan's right and always ready to offer some tactical advice, know what this means: if they want to halt the development of these new droids, or at least stay a step ahead, they need to steal the blueprints, and the Separatist droid blueprints are securely kept in…
"Looks like one lucky squad’s gonna have the great honor of infiltrating Serenno," the younger Jedi breaks the silence with a touch of sarcasm, tapping a few buttons on the holo-map to display the planet in question. Almost unexplored, impossible to get ships close enough to scan it completely.
"That’s too reckless," Windu comments immediately.
"It’s a suicide mission," Obi-Wan agrees.
"It’s risky, but not impossible."
"You spend way too much time with Anakin."
"Actually, Anakin spends too much time with me," she corrects with a playful smirk, crossing her arms again and leaning back against one of the control panels behind her.
"If I may…" Cody interjects, stepping forward and nodding to formally request the floor. Windu acknowledges him with a nod of his own. "A mission like this needs a small team. No more than four or five soldiers, with one of you leading. And I know just the squad for the job."
"The 501st?" Windu asks, his brow raised, well aware of the battalion’s formidable reputation.
"No," Cody shakes his head, his helmet tucked under his left arm. "Clone Force 99. I've worked with them before. They’re elite commandos, defective clones with desirable and really convenient mutations. Their success rate on high-risk missions is 100%."
"But...?" (Y/N) catches a deep, well hidden hint of hesitation in the commander's voice and refuses to let it slide. She raises an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side to scrutinize him closely.
"But," Cody clears his throat, aware of how his words might sound for the Jedi, "let’s just say they’re an unconventional squad. Their methods don’t exactly mesh well with captains, commanders, or generals who aren’t flexible or willing to...improvise on the fly, or disregard orders from above."
"That description sounds vaguely familiar," Obi-Wan remarks, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he blatantly turns his head to look at her. She purses her lips and shrugs, as if the comment had nothing to do with her peaceful persona.
"I just like being practical, and let’s be honest, plans usually never work out as we would like them to. Following orders isn’t always the best option on the table when the situation becomes a life or death type of scenario."
"I think we’ve found the perfect person to lead this mission," Obi-Wan concludes, a knowing smile spreading across his face.
(Y/N) and Obi-Wan then turn their gaze towards Windu, who appears to be deeply pondering the situation. It’s a dangerous mission, far too dangerous. Infiltrating Serenno could be compared to a Separatist squadron trying to infiltrate Coruscant right now. Reckless, not worthy at all. And even though she has proven her capabilities time and again, earning the respect of the Jedi Council since before she was knighted, this exceeds the usual risks they take. But at the same time, if they don't do it, they could lose more than just a squad—and with bad luck, a Jedi.
"Go ahead," Windu finally says, his tone decisive.
"Great, infiltrating the heart of enemy territory is always my favorite kind of mission," she quips, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, a smirk tugging at her lips.
...
"I had no clue there were defective clones out there," Obi-Wan remarks, arms folded, his gaze scanning the distant skyline of Coruscant from the base.
"Me neither, but the whole idea of working with a bunch or weird, mutant clones sounds fascinating," (Y/N) replies without missing a beat, a spark of excitement lighting up her eyes as she contemplates leading such an unconventional mission. She's still one of the few Jedi without a permanent legion or squad under her command, always bouncing from one assignment to another, going wherever she's needed as reinforcement. A bit like the 99, Cody thinks, observing both Jedi with a smile playing on his lips.
"You're about to find out just how interesting they can be, General."
And as if his statement was a cue and they were living in a movie, a shuttle rockets onto the landing pad, causing chaos among the ground crew. Its engines roar as it touches down, sending crates of military gear flying through the air like confetti at a parade.
"Someone just lost their flight rights." She mutters, a wide grin spreading across her face. Obi-Wan -ever so subtle- smirks beside her, wondering which of those so-called elite defective clones managed to botch a landing so badly. Did they miss their flying lessons?
The ramp of the shuttle, which she discovers it's heavily customized now that she can take a better look at it, slowly lowers, revealing four individuals waiting to come out, each more particular than the last. Their armor, adorned in black and red, seems customized to what (Y/N) guesses are their individual strengths and quirks.
The first one down the ramp, still wearing his helmet, glances around as if assessing the potential damage done to the landing pad. From his body language alone, she would expect him to be the genius who managed that landing. What she doesn’t expect, though, is his face under the helmet. Actually, none of theirs.
"Well, they certainly don’t look like clones," Obi-Wan comments a bit louder than intended, but he's right. They all share a distant resemblance to the regular clones—maybe like... distant cousins—but if they weren’t in the army, you’d never guess they were clones at all. Each one of them is… unique, and they’ve already piqued (Y/N)’s curiosity even before a proper introduction.
"Commander," one of them greets Cody as soon as the squad reaches them, raising a hand to shake his own. His long, dark, wavy hair is already distinctive enough, but his tattooed face really adds to his intimidating persona. He truly looks like someone who could kill you in a matter of seconds if he wanted to.
"Good to see you, Sergeant. It’s been a while. This is Jedi General (Y/N)," Cody introduces her, and she nods at them with a charming small smile plastered on her face. "She'll be leading this suicide mission and will be your only reinforcement this time."
It might just be her imagination, really, but she could swear the clone Cody referred to as sergeant is not exactly happy with the sudden news about the mission’s command. Feeling as if a speeder had just run over her a thousand parsecs per hour, and judging by the way he suddenly looks her up and down to the speed of light, silently analyzing her, she'd say this strong feeling of rejection she perceives through the Force, comes from him.
Awh, she didn’t even open her mouth yet and she’s already made a new friend. How cute.
"General," he nods politely, like any good soldier would have done, but with this… noticeable detachment in his manner. "Sergeant Hunter of Clone Force 99. These are Tech, Wrecker, and Crosshair." He introduces his team one by one, each giving the Jedi a quick glance and a nod.
‘’Let me guess,’’ she starts, biting the inside of her cheek before pointing with one of her right fingers to each one of them. ‘’you’re fast and probably have better sight or hearing. You, on the other hand, are the smart one.’’ The jedi refers to Tech, who is clearly and unashamedly the brains of the squad. Those glasses and the datapad he constantly checks? A walking stereotype. He nods in agreement, tho, while Hunter tries to roll his eyes without being noticed. And miserably fails, but she doesn’t pay attention to it. ‘’You’re the strong one, and you’re the sniper.’’ And she’s sure she doesn’t need to point out why, how, she knows that; the target tattoo around his eye blatantly giving him away.
"Wait, you're a Jedi?" Wrecker, the burliest of the group and seemingly the cute, dumb one, asks with a hint of disbelief as he eyes her hair and attire. She quickly realizes that her dark and tactical outfit—cargo pants, military boots, a snug top with protective padding on her shoulders and a tight vest—doesn't exactly scream "Jedi." But she's always been more comfortable on the front lines than behind the clones she commands, and a robe would just get in the way during a fight. Obi-Wan's still not happy about that.
"Yeah, last time I checked," she replies with a smile, his enthusiasm infectious as she meets Wrecker's gaze. His expression widens, as happy and excited as a kid in a candy store.
"Isn't that awesome, Sergeant? We're gonna see some of those Force tricks up close," Wrecker adds eagerly, nudging his fellow clone.
"Yeah, awesome," Hunter mutters, seemingly uninterested in the conversation as he quickly changes the subject. What's his problem? "So, General, what kind of death trap are we heading into this time?"
"I'll fill you in on all the details on our way; the journey will be long," She answers, shrugging nonchalantly, her hands clasped behind her back.
"Then let's get going!" Wrecker exclaims again, and his whole squad follows him back to the shuttle after a quick farewell to Cody. (Y/N) can't help but notice the way the proclaimed sergeant's eyes lingered on her for just a couple seconds before turning away, wondering about the coldness she feels emanating from him towards her. If their paths had crossed on another mission, she would have remembered, and even so, she's always the life of the party on any mission! She might take offense if she wasn't used to not fitting in even among her own. At least, she tells herself as she exhales a soft sigh, he's attractive, so she'll deal with the mission and his shitty attitude by enjoying his pretty face as a reward for her outstanding patience.
"You're staring," Obi-Wan scolds her under his breath, witnessing their previous interaction, giving the younger Jedi a gentle elbow nudge.
"Being a Jedi means not getting attached, not gouging your eyes out and depriving yourself of good views," she responds without missing a beat, smiling charmingly at him. She's so cheeky, Obi-Wan thinks to himself, exactly like her old master, Kit Fisto.
"Ah, -I completely forgot-, wait!" The Jedi calls out to Clone Force 99, causing everyone to freeze and turn to look at her. "Before we go, you guys need to change your clothes."
The clones look at each other, confused. Wrecker is the first to speak up. "What’s wrong with our gear?"
She steps forward, arms crossed. "Nothing if you want to stick out like a rancor in a china shop. We're going undercover."
Hunter narrows his eyes slightly, not exactly liking what he just heard. "And what exactly do you suggest, General?"
She smirks, his reluctance kinda funny to her. "Something a bit less... militaristic. Follow me, I'll show you where you can get changed."
Wrecker shrugs, clearly unfazed. "As long as I don't have to wear a dress," he jokes, eliciting a low chuckle from Crosshair. ''those never have pockets, and I need to carry some grenades.''
Hunter, on the other hand, remains stoic, his gaze fixed on the jedi, his now general during this mission. There’s a flicker of something in his eyes—doubt, maybe even distrust—but he nods. "Lead the way."
And as they do as being told, Obi-Wan falls into step beside her. "You sure about this?"
She nods, her expression determined. "Absolutely, what could go wrong?"
#hunter tbb#tbb hunter#tbb hunter x reader#the bad batch#the bad batch fanfiction#bad batch#the bad batch x you#hunter x reader#sergeant hunter#tbb fanfiction#tbb tech#tbb crosshair#tbb wrecker#star wars
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The Great Shift: Speed Dating
Ok, so dating in your 30s can be hard. Even harder after the world has suddenly decided all of its inhabitants would suddenly swap bodies! If you thought it was hard to truly get to know someone before, it was nearly impossible now. You’d think that the differences and bodies people were exposed too would lead to more emotionally intelligent people, but no. Instead shallow just comes in all sorts of new flavors these days!
-
“Wassup I’m Aidan!.I’m 24, well now I’m 34 due to the shift. And well you can see I’ve got a lot of good assets to show.”
I rolled my eyes as this wannabe tough guy was trying to impress me. Sure he had an incredibly built body and intricate tattoos, but it was all surface level!
“Nice to meet you Aidan. You go to all of these speed dating events without a shirt?” I asked gingerly sipping my water.
“Only when I’m talking to a handsome guy like yourself.”
Gag. If I had a dime for every post shift hottie said that.
“Charming. So Aidan tell me about yourself. I mean before the shift what did you do for a living? What do you do now?” I asked.
He scoffs. “I used to be a computer programmer. You know boring office stuff. Then I swapped into this juggernaut and been living at the gym ever since. Quit my old boring work and been trying to become a trainer at my local gym.”
“So let me get this straight. You were able to sustain yourself on a safe indoor office job and now you’re trying to go into a new occupation you have no experience in because you want to flaunt your muscles?” I inquired further arching my eyebrow.
“Um... when you put it like that...” Aidan stammered looking called out.
“Next!” I rang the bell on the table signalling the rotation and the next person to join my table.
Aidan slumped his massive 6′5 frame away looking dejected, but as soon as he started flexing to himself he shrugged and moved on. Maybe another guy would like this wannabe muscle guy. I just hope he was so driven by those muscles he’d have the motivation to maintain them. So many people received huge powerful bodies, but without the knowledge to maintain them they just went to waste.
“Hey there sexy? Fred is the name, dating you is my game.” A beefy looking firefighter said, with a burgeoning gut about to strain his suspenders.
“Wow. Coming on a bit strong Fred. Please. Start from the beginning. Your name is Fred. Great. What’s with the fire fighter attire? Are you a fire fighter or was your body a fire fighter before the shift?” I asked wincing at this cringe intro.
He smiles and strokes his beard appreciatively while at the same time flexing his beefy arm. “Well I’m not... yet! This body used to be the best firefighter in the district! Then all of a sudden the shift happen and I go from university student studying engineering to the most buff in shape guy with 6 pack abs I’ve ever seen!”
I look down and notice the obvious lack of abs. “Ok. Makes sense... so now you’re trying to be a firefighter? Just like your body before you. That’s... noble. I’m really glad to see you give back to the community.”
Fred smiled. “Thanks! I’ve been trying for awhile now, but I can’t get through the physical test! It’s like I’m not as strong as the guy who used this body. Weird. Right now I mostly play video games and stream shirtless in these suspenders. My viewers love seeing me. I’m FireXFighter69 on Twitch and YouTube! Check out my video on-”
“Next!” I say ringing the bell once more.
“Damn. Didn’t work out... are you gonna finish your food there? You hardly touched it.” Fred pointed at the snacks provided at the table.
“Sure Fred. Good luck on your next date.” I said as Fred left with the plate of food.
Some people could be oblivious of their own faults and try way too hard. Am I asking too much for people to just be honest and not hide behind some sort of facade? I get people can be nervous, but it’s certainly better than trying to get to know a character who isn’t even real.
“Hey there bitch!”
“You’re hot as fuck and I know you need a real man to show you how it’s done.”
I didn’t know how to respond to such an abrupt entrance. I thought Aidan was cringe, but this guy was a whole new level. Flexing in my face, flipping me off, calling me names? Was he trying to neg me in less than 5 minutes?
“I can see you’re stunned by my natural masculinity. I don’t blame you. I’m an older guy given a second chance in this buff young jock. I found myself out of shape at 50 thrown into this guy mid football game. I’m no stranger to the gym so i just buffed myself up even more than that kid could. Now I’m here and ready to fuck you. So. What do you say? Wanna get out of here and ditch all these idiots?”
“Next! Sooo much next! You don’t get to dominate the conversation like this And you are NOT the type for any reasonable person here. I hope you find some sub willing to put up with your shit.” I retorted with a glare.
I see the guy in front of me blanch embarrassed! “Bastard! You’d be lucky to have me. I oughta!” He raised his hand to slam the table! Or me! But soon security escorted him out.
“I.... wow. That’s the worst one to end on. But I might as well go. There are clearly not any guys for me here.” I was about to get up when this cuter guy came over.
“Hello! I... wow. I saw what happened. Great job for standing up to that guy. He seemed like such a creep. I’m Elijah by the way... were you heading out?”
I was caught off guard. This man was so handsome! He wasn’t posturing like the rest, but I still he was making an honest effort despite his trepedation. His voice faltered a bit, but its deep resonate tones made that sound sweet. He was holding himself in a reserved posture, but even as he nervously clasped his hands I could see biceps raise and strain his shirt.
“I was... but I think I’d like to get to know you. I’m Omar. I just turned away a few guys who were being absolute jerks. How about you? Elijah was it?” I said a bit blushing.
“Yeah! Well I recently graduated post great shift. I finished my last semester at the local community college in a new body. I’m in my neighbors body. Big guy! Great beard, but I’m still getting used to maintaining it. I’ll admit. I’m working part time at the local library till I find a job more suitable for what I studied in school. I’m 22, but my new biological age is 35. I do some painting in my free time and love exploring new parts of the city now that a lot of it has been rebuilt since the shift.” Elijah explained.
“Oh! Have you checked out the bar across town? It used to be a gay bar called The Tank! Now it’s changed its name to The Sea! Since there’s so many more sexualities represented there!” I offered.
“Haha! Love that. That’s clever! The tank has gotten bigger! I get it! I uh... Maybe you and I could continue our conversation there, over drinks?” Elijah blushed.
“I’d like that. Let’s get out of here!” We both stood up and took each others hands. Gosh his were so warm. Not to mention they felt so strong. He’s got quite the grip! I took a few steps so enamored by him I nearly fell, until he caught me in his arms. My face went right across his chest as I looked up to him before standing back up.
“Thanks for the catch. I uh.. Wow. You’ve got quite the cologne. What’s that scent?” I asked so curiously.
“Oh! Sorry!” Elijah was blushing even more. “I’m not wearing any. That’s just how my body smells. Hope it wasn’t bad.”
My eyes widen again. “It’s fine. Perfect actually. I love it. Lead the way Elijah.”
Elijah giggled. Hearing such a deep voice let out something so whimsical was the cutest thing I’ve seen tonight.
“I feel so lucky walking out of this place with you Omar.” Elijah said.
“Oh come on. I’m sure you would’ve found an awesome guy to spend then night with. You’re quite the charmer.” I retorted.
“I’m not the one looking like Henry Cavil!” Elijah laughed.
We both laughed. It was true. Ever since I looked like a celeb dating has been so hard. People try so hard to impress me, that it was such a breath air to talk to Elijah like a normal person.
“Well tonight I really do feel like the man of steel because you are making me quite hard.” I smirked at Elijah, now blushing to the max.
“I... I... normally cheesy lines like that don’t work on me, but coming for you I.... gosh let’s get to that bar!”
We ended up walking aware from that speed date very satisfied. Perhaps even the hot people need help finding love after the shift. Who knows. I never said I was perfect, but tonight I sure am excited to see how far Elijah and I go!
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hello!! i hope you're having an amazing day 🥹💗 do you have any vale's races masterpost?? thank you so much in advance!!
*takes deep breath* *cracks knuckles* *cracks knuckles again for good measure* *rolls up sleeves* *cracks knuckles one more time* yes of course anon. no problem. let's do this
going to forgo any extended intro as this post will be long enough as it is - though it wasn't always easy to both represent the scope of valentino's career and make picks based on actual race quality. there will be a skew towards the early years of his time in the premier class and there are a few obvious fallow spells, but I hope I've adequately done justice to most of his very, very long career... and used the asterisk system to do my quality control for me
speaking of - another rec post, another escalation of the asterisk system (luckily, we have reached the final boss of motogp and it is impossible to escalate beyond this - here are the casey and marc/dovi lists). * means check it out, ** personal fave, *** classic, **** if you watch nothing else please watch these
I also need to mention mat oxley's 'valentino rossi: all his races', which is an excellent reference book that I consulted a fair bit when compiling this list. it's especially invaluable in making sense of the early years - where the archives unfortunately are sorely lacking and I'm grateful for every bit of additional context I can get. about those early years, a little bit of housekeeping with the codes I'll use to indicate in which form these races are available:
ITA: only italian commentary, which means I've found them on youtube. this is relevant only for the very early races. there's upsettingly few of his 125cc and especially 250cc races available even when you include these (though I haven't included all the ones that are available)
HL: only highlights, which is specifically about some of the 2000-01 races. there's only three full races of valentino's first premier class title available in their entirety on the motogp website, which is unfortunate (technically four including valencia, but who would want to watch that). now, the highlights they provide for all the other races aren't actually bad - they're around twenty minutes long for the race themselves so you will see most of the exciting action and the overtakes and all that (though it does raise the question of 'why don't you just upload the full races')
NC: no commentary, and is mainly an issue for the 2002 races that are all uploaded in their entirety but... well, only a few with commentary. obviously not ideal especially with older races. my recommendation would be watching the very short highlights (aka 2-3 minutes of actual race footage with commentary) available on the website for each of the 2002 races - either after or even before watching the race - to just give yourself a better sense of what you're watching
as ever, the descriptions will frequently provide spoilers for the result. my spoiler-free top ten recommendations are: donington park 2000 suzuka 2001 phillip island 2001 brno 2003 phillip island 2003 welkom 2004 donington park 2005 laguna seca 2008 catalunya 2009 assen 2015
and here, ten more spoiler-free recs because it really is a bloody long career: sachsenring 2003 mugello 2004 phillip island 2004 jerez 2005 sachsenring 2006 sepang 2006 catalunya 2007 motegi 2010 argentina 2015 assen 2017
**brno 1996: I find it very charming when riders have early career races that tell you everything you need to know about them. this is valentino's first grand prix win, achieved from his first pole position. he has an awful start, ends up way down the order, fights his way through, is eventually caught by this 34 year old former world champion who he does not like, fights him for a bit, stalks him and lets him draw them away from the pack in what the commentators consider remarkable confidence and poise from a seventeen year old, loses touch enough with the race leader that it looks like he's surely lost the race before pulling out a crazy last lap with some hard racing™ to overtake that other bloke. after he crosses the finish line he's so excited he almost rides into the wall. deeply excessive celebratory fist pumping that just goes on and on and on. angelic smile on the podium as the bloke he's beaten looks rather peeved - and apparently complained about valentino's riding afterwards. what more is there to say, really
^driving his elders to drink. here's a video where valentino is talking about the race: "and from there a fight to the death came out because we didn't get along very well. we weren't very nice to each other because we were bothering each other throughout the championship". like I said, tells you everything you need to know about him. just watch this one and call it a day
nurbuergring 1997 (ITA): an early strong wet weather performance, at a time when he was still a bit of a wimp about the whole riding in the rain thing. granted, he was a little lucky when the runaway race leader had a mechanical dnf, but he got into a nice little scrap with a few other riders to claim his fourth consecutive victory
rio 1997 (ITA): the thing about 125cc/moto3 races is you kinda know what you're getting, and more often than not what you're getting is a fun time watching them go at it. valentino's first, he's third, he's first again, they're having it out... and then on the final lap, he's taking advantage of the backmarkers to secure the victory. which is so sneaky and so valentino that it obviously deserves to be mentioned here. incidentally, his last ever win at assen 2017 had a controversial involvement of a backmarker on the last lap, which is a nice little full circle moment twenty years later
brno 1997: in many ways, this was a more impressive ride from his title rival ueda, who came back from thirteenth on the grid to take the win. which meant that valentino had to finish on the podium to claim his 125cc title at the same venue where he won his first race... and he just about managed it, with the entire leading group of riders headed into the final corner together
there are race highlights in the 5-10 minute range from his 250cc race years which... well. since they're not anywhere close to full races and this is a race recs list, I can't exactly give them their own bullet points, but I'll just rattle through a few highlight videos here I enjoyed from 1998: jerez (features a nifty overtake with four blokes entering one corner together, also harada fucked with valentino despite being a lap down to help capirossi win?? anyway vale's first 250cc podium, to which harada showed up to clap for capirossi specifically???); mugello (featuring his controversial beachwear celebration); paul ricard (see below); catalunya (he spent a lot of that year crashing but towards the end of the season finally figured it out - works his way back from thirteenth place to win), argentina (controversial title decider claxon; valentino found the whole thing so "hilarious" he was giggling when the drama was going off in the garage. he also referenced the jerez incident in his post-race interview, because of course he did)
^the three protagonists of the 1998 250cc season: valentino, harada and capirossi, all part of the same nightmarish aprilia 'super team'. everything I've read about that season makes me want to break into dorna hq and get my hands on the full race footage. both images are from the paul ricard race, in which valentino was trying to figure out how to stop harada from continuously outsmarting him. they kept slowing down the pace further and further, with harada running his bike comically wide to let valentino through and valentino doing a massive wheelie down the straight (image on the right) to force harada to go back past - but harada still eventually managed to best him on the final lap. valentino was heavily criticised in the press for wanting to 'humiliate' capirossi by letting capirossi catch up to the pair, but really he was just getting creative in his tactics. I may not have been able to 'watch' this season but I love it dearly
donington park 1999 (ITA): the ONE 250cc race I've been able to watch in its entirety. it was stopped and restarted due to the weather and the final outcome was decided on aggregate time across the two races (yeah, this does feel weird but they used to do that). a close fight especially in the first part. not too wet, presumably, given his 250cc performances in the soaking wet were often. hm. not great
1999 highlights I enjoyed: catalunya (was riding with a suspension glitch but kept his main title rival ukawa behind him anyway); sachsenring (won an intense battle with capirossi, admittedly you do not see much of him in the highlights); brno (another intense fight, this time mainly with an older rider in waldmann after they both worked their way through the field); phillip island (worked his way to the win from seventh on the grid and one of those phillip island races)
jerez 2000 (HL): valentino's initiation to the premier class wasn't... the most dignified thing you'll ever see... two dnf's in the first two races by which point he was so bloody terrified of the bike he was just very slow in the third. in his defence, those 500cc bikes were pretty scary, but also it was time to get his act together. which he did in jerez! this was another one of those weird ones where the rain interrupted the race and then the whole thing was decided on aggregate time, but a good ride to bag his first premier class podium
**donington park 2000: maybe it was the bikes, maybe it was experience, maybe it was a mindset thing, but eventually he would get over his moral objections to 'getting wet' and develop into an excellent wet weather racer in the premier class. this was his first premier class win - and a pretty neat way to seal it too. had an awful start, took a while to figure out the grip conditions, and then he was off. the second half of the race involved a fun fight between valentino and both roberts jr and mcwilliams for the victory
^almost gave the commentators a heart attack by running a defensive line through the final corner that took him completely off the dry racing line
rio 2000 (NC/HL - as in, both are available): valentino's second win of the year and his first in the dry, the race after his late charge to a rookie title was scuppered by a crash in valencia. he made some adjustments to his riding style after the valencia fiasco and really started to get to grips with the 500cc, which would stand him in good stead the following year. as is traditional, he makes a truly horrendous start, dropping back from the front row to find himself briefly outside of the top ten. from there, he gets to work. it's confident stuff, getting himself to the lead by about half distance and pulling away from there
**suzuka 2001: the first race of 2001 and a clear statement of intent. as ever, valentino had to work his way through the field... which took him right into the path of max biaggi, a man who had already been his enemy before they started actually racing each other. now, it has to be said, biaggi is a dick here! quite literally elbows valentino while running him off-track and could easily have caused vale to crash (as valentino said afterwards, "I had to learn how to ride motocross-style at 140 mph"), he continues using various body parts rather creatively in defending his position. when valentino finally gets past, he sticks out his middle finger. set the tone for that season rather nicely
jerez 2001: this is the cool-headed, calculating valentino who would prove such a formidable foe over the years. having already won the first two races of the season, he's high on confidence as he engages in a duel with the man who had so captured his imagination as a teenager: norifumi abe. valentino takes his time - but when he finally makes the decisive pass, he pulls clear so easily it feels like valentino may have just been toying with his hero all along
^valentino and norick, the inspiration for 'rossifumi'. in 2008, valentino paid tribute to the other man a year after his passing: "norick for me was a hero. I grew up watching the suzuka 500 race in 1994 with the great battle he had together with schwantz and doohan. last year was a shit year for me when I heard of the death of norick and colin mcrae, for me it was not a great year. I think it is possible to dedicate this championship to norick”
catalunya 2001 (HL): I don't care if there's only highlights - I am not leaving out a race that sparked a fist fight. honestly if I were biaggi I'd be pissed about this race too. valentino was twelfth at the end of the first lap and ended up winning... painful, truly. a really good scrap, plenty of fun to watch as valentino always is at catalunya, and obviously you've also got to watch the presser clips with the knowledge they were throwing hands a few minutes earlier
assen 2001 (HL): this one was low-key kinda stolen from valentino. it's good fun - y'know, one of those assen battles, valentino's doing the stalking and lurking thing and it starts raining and valentino takes the lead and... whoops! time to call off the race due to the rain so let's take the results from the previous lap! biaggi win! imagine getting into a fist fight with someone and losing the very next race to them on a technicality. oof
^post-fist fight handshake to show how it's all fine. they're totally fine. completely fine. no problems here
*donington park 2001 (HL): I'm gonna be so real, if I'm on pole and my title rival starts eleventh and he ends up beating me to the win by 1.8s, I think I just call it a day after that one. valentino had a bad crash during practise where he was lucky to not really hurt himself and then obviously had a pretty terrible qualifying, so a great opportunity for biaggi to claw back some points. worst bit is, vale didn't even make a good start - he was still in eleventh place halfway through the first lap. good fun to watch him pick his way through the field, and in his autobiography he ranks this race near the very top in terms of ones that gave him the most "satisfaction"
****phillip island 2001: look, if you've seen one of those classic multi-rider dogfights at phillip island, then, here, I've got a version of that for you from 2001. it's just so much fun to watch, with so many different riders and rider constellations and run orders at various parts of the race, riders looking like they'll break away and getting caught again etc etc etc. and it is also a match point race for valentino - a relatively comfortable one given his formidable championship lead. he didn't need to win the race to take the title, but would you want to see your greatest enemy take the spoils on your big day? in the most dramatic fashion possible, valentino ends up right behind biaggi on the very last lap and makes a daring overtake for the victory. hard to beat that as a way of sealing your first premier class title
*suzuka 2002: you know how I said in the marc rec post that I found it tricky to pick out a few for 2014 because a lot of the races were good without being all timers? this is valentino's equivalent season - he's winning, life is great-ish, tricky to differentiate, and if you enjoy any of these races you'll probably enjoy them all. mostly I'm just going to include the ones with commentary available, even though I'm too stubborn to let dorna completely make my choices for me here. anyway, this one is available with commentary and it's a good watch... valentino hadn't had the easiest weekend to start off his title defence, crashed badly twice, bloodied his hands, all that. he had a sluggish start in the wet conditions and worked his way up the field, before sitting on the rear tyre of the japanese wildcard akira ryo for a while - who knew the track well and knew where all the puddles were. a smart and composed win and feels very typical of his wet weather performances over the years
jerez 2002 (NC): in my head, this is the sister race to le mans 2014. valentino is pushed down quite a few spots to ninth early on (kenny roberts jr just. shoves him aside and does the thing where he gestures back to apologise, but that doesn't really help valentino when half a dozen bikes have passed him) and then he gets down to business. that whole season really does have that 2014 vibe of 'right this is fun but also feels a little too easy' - but hey, the way valentino picks his way through the field is satisfying to watch. and valentino did always like to play with his food, so he sits behind barros for a fair bit before doing the inevitable
*assen 2002: so, the thing about 2002 is that it was the first year of the rebrand to motogp and the introduction of the four-stroke bikes... but you still had two-stroke bikes on the grid, which tended to be tragically outgunned. the circuits where they were competitive tended to be the ones where they could take advantage of how 'nimble' the old bikes were, with more corners and fewer straights - and honestly, if you go on a race-by-race level you could make the case that on-track barros on his two-stroke machine (for most of the year) was valentino's most important rival that season. this is a head-to-head duel with barros that nicely showcases the respective strengths and weaknesses of two such different bikes and riders riding them, and barros manages to mount a stern challenge to valentino for most of the race
*sachsenring 2002: I do find it a little funny that this is one of the ones with commentary they've provided, because there's a bit of an anti-climax close to the end and I'm not sure valentino should have won that race. anyway, similarly to assen, this is another week where the two-strokes can put up a proper fight, and it's an engaging scrap that involves a lot of riders and quite a few nice little shifts in momentum. like above, another interesting study in how the different bikes compare in direct combat
phillip island 2002 (NC): always fun when someone builds up a bit of a gap on valentino. as was so often the case that year, it was barros (now on a four-stroke) who served as valentino's closest challenger, and valentino took his time hunting him down. from there, it's familiar material from the rossi playbook, stalking and studying before making his move - but barros sticks very very close to valentino until he makes an error on the last lap
^is it a bird is it a plane etc etc... don't think this was supposed to mean anything, just being silly
okay we're now headed into the 2003-05 stretch and I should mention that most of the races in that era will also have been featured in this post, which might also be useful to put them into context
*le mans 2003: valentino tries to make a break for it, but the rain denies him. he raises his hand to get the race called off (you could do this as the race leader back in the day, or I suppose also not do that if you wanted to be an asshole)... and immediately almost falls off his bike so. uh. probably a good idea to get it called off. when the race resumes, it's a three-way tussle between valentino, barros, and new challenger sete gibernau, even if at times it's less tussling and more wobbling. in the last couple of laps, it's down to sete and valentino to have it out in the treacherous conditions - and the last lap is proper dramatic. sete had already gotten one over valentino in welkom... but this defeat, coming after valentino had led the race, must surely have stung even more
*catalunya 2003: I feel a little mean making my first three 2003 picks races valentino all lost in quite painful fashion, but, hey, it's character building and really set up his whole arc for the next season-and-a-half. this one is... well. it's both embarrassing and kinda neat from vale. most of this race consists of a duel with capirossi - and when valentino hits the front, you do think that's going to be it. capirossi keeps close, however, and valentino eventually makes an error, running wide to let him through. shortly afterwards, he makes even a worse mistake and runs off into the gravel. once he's fucked up it's a pretty fun performance, where he starts posting pleasingly insane lap times to recover from sixth back to second
***sachsenring 2003: this race will always be remembered for valentino's penultimate corner overtake followed by his last corner mistake that resulted in sete's unlikely victory, but the race before that is good fun too! valentino looks like he'll make a break for it, and obviously miserably fails in his attempt - this time he's the one to be slowly, slowly, slowly caught by a persistent rival who eventually manages to get the better of him again. after this race, valentino vowed he wouldn't be taking any more prisoners. he didn't
****brno 2003: after a horrifying four race losing streak and the humiliation of sachsenring, valentino came back from the summer break with new determination and hunger and a mission to not let anyone get in his way any more. he does not have an easy time of it at brno, with a classic multi-rider dogfight that features regular and dramatic shake-ups of the riders' fortunes. the finish is incredibly close, and vale could have easily been denied the opportunity to pull out his elaborate victory celebrations: dressing up as a convict to symbolise how he felt imprisoned by his own success. here is a more in-depth post about the race
****phillip island 2003: this starts off in classic phillip island fashion, with a bunch of riders having it out in the early laps. then, valentino takes the lead and makes a break for it, and it looks like the excitement of the rest of the race will be all about the fierce fight for the remaining podium positions... except there's a twist. valentino overtook another rider under yellow flag conditions - and unlike donington that year where he was retroactively slapped with a ten second penalty that denied him the win, this time he is informed of the penalty during the race. this race is about as exhilarating as it is possible for a race to get when you're watching someone riding alone in the front - and you'll be provided with some added spice with the scrap for the last podium place. in the end, valentino crosses the finishing line with an obscene margin of over fifteen seconds
^think I already posted these notes somewhere but I can't NOT mention the commentary for this race. bottom of this post I included the autobiography excerpt about how valentino channelled his fury to win this race - very revealing!
****welkom 2004: still perhaps valentino's favourite victory of them all, and with good reason. his first race with yamaha and one that the entire paddock thought he didn't have a hope of winning... until they hit the track that weekend. valentino led every single session and qualified on pole: he said the pole position felt as good as ten with honda. better yet was still to come, with valentino claiming a victory following a thrilling duel against his old foe biaggi that raged on until the very last lap. such was the pace that third-placed sete was seven seconds down on the top pair at the chequered flag
^valentino stopped at the side of the track after his win, kissing his bike and sitting down for a moment to soak in the moment. he says he was laughing into his helmet: "'and so in the end I was right!' I thought to myself. 'I can't believe it, I screwed them all... what a show!'"
****mugello 2004: this race has so much going on, and all of it is highly enjoyable. valentino might have won the last two races at mugello - but off the back of two fourth places and with mugello's famously terrifying long straight, it felt like surely the more powerful hondas would have the decisive edge. and this one is a hard fight for valentino. it's a hard fight with several riders, it's a hard fight with sete and, following an interruption due to the rain, it's a hard fight in mixed conditions where valentino initially drops back to seventh to figure out the grip levels - before speeding off to the win. all the best types of races rolled into one
***catalunya 2004: right after mugello, it's time to visit sete's home - and here valentino kicks off a bit of a tradition of memorable one-on-one catalunya duels... as well as a habit of beating spaniards at the track. it's hard fought, it's challenging, but again valentino emerges on top
***assen 2004: the third consecutive race that featured an extended duel with sete. initially involving barros too - but he crashes, and it's down to the familiar protagonists. this really works as the last episode of that mini-trilogy because you can tell how badly sete felt he needed to reassert himself in that title fight, and conversely how little interest valentino had in letting him do so. involves a hard last lap overtake that resulted in contact. sete was not best pleased, but valentino had secured the win and the championship lead
^left: catalunya, where valentino dons the doctor's garb to perform a series of 'medical checks' on his yamaha, feat. stethoscope and thermometer, before declaring it fit for duty. right: assen, where yamaha staff dress up as doctors to pay tribute to him
qatar 2004: a good old-fashioned hubris ride. valentino was slapped with a back-of-the-grid penalty for some midnight grid cleaning shenanigans and is furious about this. he gets quite possibly the best start of his career and is eighth after a few corners, continues charging and barging his way through the field... before crashing and mashing up his finger and reopening that year's championship fight. the race does get a little dull after valentino does his thing - here are the ten most relevant minutes of footage as well as some more details about the penalty and the race. the weekend that irrevocably damaged his relationship with sete
***phillip island 2004: an underrated spite ride. if you're in the penultimate race of the season and you know a second place is enough to clinch the title and you're over a second behind your title rival and you historically suck at the circuit where title deciders are held, the sensible thing to do is just ride home in second place when it becomes clear the third-placed guy is not catching up. obviously, valentino does not do this, not least because he is determined to stop sete from ever winning a race again. this goes down to the very last lap and it is either a very cool or a very dumb way to seal a title, depending on how you look at it
****jerez 2005: both protagonists make very little secret from the start of the race of just how much they want to beat each other: this is war. and it's a war in which sete has the upper hand for most of the way through (as much as you can really feel you have the 'upper hand' with valentino sitting on your rear tyre) - until valentino makes his move with three laps to go. it takes an error from valentino on the last lap to set up the dramatic and controversial finale, with the infamous valentino block pass that sent his bike careening into sete's. the actions of a man who had decided neither of them finishing the race was a more acceptable outcome than his enemy taking the win, and the relationship between the two riders manages to improbably deteriorate still further
^satisfied with a good day's work as the furious spaniards jeer. if anyone had any lingering doubts about valentino's trademark ruthlessness, they were dispelled that day
**mugello 2005: another year, another thrilling mugello battle. it's looking increasingly clear that this will be a one-rider title fight, but luckily that isn't impacting the race quality (think marc's 2019, where he was incidentally the same age as valentino is here). similarly to the year before, there's cause for concern whenever you're fighting more powerful bikes at mugello, but after a dramatic multi-rider fight valentino is not to be denied
**catalunya 2005: back on sete soil and oh god how much he would have loved to win this race. it's the tension and hatred and desperation that makes these races so exciting to watch - though sete is hardly helped out in his mission of revenge by teammate marco melandri who keeps sabotaging sete's attempts to defy valentino's curse. but melandri has whatever the opposite of main character energy is and the race ends up being another valentino/sete duel. some excellent riding by the pair of them, valentino is particularly fearsome on the brakes that day, and sete has truly taken his gloves off when fighting valentino. but of course, valentino denies sete once again and makes a break for it shortly before the end
****donington park 2005: the defining wet weather ride of valentino's career - even though it got off to a shaky start (literally) and continued to be pretty shaky most of the way. this race was held in truly appalling conditions that they probably would not race in these days, and it's reflected in the number of dnf's - one of which was courtesy of poor sete gibernau once again crashing out of the lead. for most of the way, valentino is wobbling his way into the lead and wobbling his way out of it again... but after some big scares and some time spent nicely sheltering behind other riders, he finally figures out the grip conditions - and he's off. it's one of those rides that is just demoralising for everyone else in how good it is, with valentino pulling insultingly far clear from the other riders with insulting ease
^valentino plays a violin after crossing the finish line. teammate edwards: "I looked at his data and it was scary. he was locking the front in the rain on a shitty track that was slicker than snot, at every corner. this guy's crazy!" not pictured - valentino hugging himself and shivering while parking the bike... and being provided with an anorak and gloves that he only very, very, very reluctantly relinquishes when stepping onto the podium
*le mans 2005: you realise fairly quickly that this one's building to something juicy. colin edwards, valentino's teammate, takes the lead and heads out on his own, as valentino sets off after him - eventually slotting into his favourite position sitting right on the leader's rear tyre. except, he can't afford to hang around - because sete is going faster than both of them and is rapidly catching up. this one really gets going when the inevitable happens and the three of them collide on track, and of course we end up with another sete/valentino duel. cruelly, it's another one where the winner is still not entirely decided when they enter the very final lap... but the curse will not be denied. valentino breaks the circuit record on the last lap
*sachsenring 2005: the problem with watching these races is that even if you would prefer not to know the result going in... well, every single time the race comes down to a duel between sete and valentino post-qatar 2004, however strong sete looks, however confident, however near he is to the victory... you know he's obviously not going to make it. my advice is to really lean into it - the joy/horror of it all is in discovering how it's going to go wrong this time. this race features another lovely duel between valentino and sete, at a track that suits the honda far better than it does the yamaha. valentino leads early on before sete manages to catch up and overtake him. two laps to go and sete is still in the lead as valentino stalks him around... you know how this story goes
*brno 2005: ah, the misery. listen, if you enjoyed the previous sete/valentino duels I listed, then you're going to enjoy this one too. it's the race immediately following sachsenring and it feels like basically they just continued the last one, and boy are they going at it from the very start. sete determinedly sticks with valentino and surely one of these has to go his way... includes a particularly cruel twist on the final lap
qatar 2005: one year on from the race in which valentino put his curse on sete, and it feels like this might be sete's best chance for the remainder of the season to free himself. he gets perilously close to making a break for it ahead of the battling melandri and valentino... but of course, he can never run far enough. another painful defeat (if one caused by melandri more than valentino) and eventually valentino claims victory at the circuit that had caused him such trouble the year before
qatar 2006: valentino's 2006 season got off to a tricky start when toni elias rode into him in the very first corner of the opening race, and his luck didn't get much better from there. still, the year featured plenty of excellent valentino rides - including the second race of the season, where he fought his way through from sixth on the grid. features his first tussle with the rookie pole sitter, one casey stoner, who defends sternly against his future rival. eventually, valentino faces off against nicky hayden in a decent extended scrap that went on for much of the race
***mugello 2006: boy, did valentino get himself involved in some banger races at this circuit during his time. sete tries to escape at the front, and even in a tough year like 2006 valentino will not allow that man a moment's rest. a duel between sete and valentino ensues (featuring melandri and casey), then valentino suddenly drops down to fifth, then the race turns into a three-way encounter between capirossi, hayden, and... still valentino. he emerges from the feisty fray with a much-needed win
***sachsenring 2006: you could copy paste 'much-needed win' any time valentino won this year, and sachsenring is no exception. not traditionally his strongest track, valentino's urgency produced one hell of a race ripe with tension throughout. the yamaha's struggles made for a difficult qualifying and he fought his way through from eleventh on the grid. even when he caught the leaders and passed them, he couldn't just clear off like in times past, dragging three dogged riders along with him - but he just about managed to hold them off for the win
****sepang 2006: one of the best valentino duels, this time featuring one of his oldest rivals in the form of loris capirossi. part of his remarkable late season charge that brought him within kissing distance of the title. the entire race is enjoyable but the final lap is one for the ages, with valentino vicious in both attack and defence
^no hard feelings: capirossi hugs valentino while vale is still on the bike. 2006 is a rare title fight in which valentino genuinely liked most of his major rivals. vale was exhausted after the battle in the gruelling sepang conditions and had a little sit down after hugging his team
phillip island 2006: the first bike swap race and quite frankly the whole thing is a mess. a lot happens and it's classic late season chaos where the championship standings and implications are chopping and changing by the lap. when the dust settles, valentino has snagged third place on the last lap off poor sete gibernau and chips away a little more at hayden's championship lead
***estoril 2006: sure, valentino lost the 2006 title when he crashed at valencia, but he also lost it by .002s in estoril. this race featured a dramatic twist in the title fight when rookie dani pedrosa wiped out his teammate hayden, and suddenly valentino had to consider just how much risk he was willing to take. he had mostly decided to play it safe - but then couldn't help himself and ended up attacking toni elias on the very last lap. if he had managed to bag the extra five points, then even with the valencia crash he would have won the title on countback
valencia 2006: everyone thought valentino would be winning the title again headed into the weekend, and they became even more certain of it when valentino qualified on pole. but in the end, it was not to be. valentino got a poor start and felt something was wrong with the bike (or maybe it was the tyres, if one casey stoner is to be believed), but admits the mistake that left him on the ground was his own. a bitter pill to swallow after a season plagued by misfortunes, though valentino had always gotten on well with title winner nicky hayden and was sincere in his congratulations
****catalunya 2007: from the start of 2007, it was clear that new ducati hire casey stoner would be a problem. with yamaha's struggles continuing into the new 800cc era, ducati had gotten it spot on at the first try... even if it was only casey who could completely tame their troublesome bike. for a while, it seemed easy to dismiss casey's victories as built primarily on the back of the infamous ducati horsepower, but at catalunya casey proved he was far more than just a powerful engine. one of the true classic catalunya duels, with both riders displaying dazzling race craft, and one of casey's finest career victories
***assen 2007: valentino's season wasn't getting any easier - the yamaha was one thing but his continued struggles with the michelin tyres if anything frustrated him even more. he qualified in eleventh place and doesn't get a particularly good start while casey streaks off in the front. casey is over five seconds clear at one stage, but valentino manages to hunt down his title rival anyway. it's studying and stalking and lurking and all the rest of it, and as ever casey doesn't make it easy for him - but eventually valentino manages to pass him and pull clear
*estoril 2007: casey's championship was more or less wrapped up by this point, though valentino was able to deny him just a little longer at the first match point race. this features a nice scrap between casey and valentino, and then an extended duel with dani that is perhaps the best fight the two of them ever had. it was a much-needed win in a rough patch for valentino on- and off-track - and he dedicated it to one of his idols, the rally legend colin mcrae who had just passed away
**catalunya 2008: yes, okay, I know he won the three races before that one - but this one's a more fun race! after an initial adaptation period to his shiny new bridgestone tyres, his season had finally properly kicked off with the aforementioned three race win streak. at catalunya, valentino only qualified in ninth, and pedrosa streaked off in front - but valentino and casey engaged in a highly enjoyable rematch of the previous year's duel. in the end, it was valentino who prevailed, but casey and ducati had clearly gotten their own house in order...
^the version of valentino that marc first met, before vale's race in his special football-themed livery and leathers
****laguna seca 2008: after catalunya, casey stormed on to win the next three races on the trot, typically by ominous margins. heading into laguna seca, a race casey had dominated with ease the year before and valentino had never gone particularly well at, valentino knew casey might be in danger of running away with this championship... and he was determined to do something to finally conduct this rivalry on his terms. nobody expected there would be a contest for the victory, let alone one valentino won - but he did, in a brutal encounter that served as a masterclass in psychological intimidation. the relationship between the two rivals did not emerge unscathed
*indianapolis 2008: another race, another mediocre start, if this time from pole. it sets up a fun (to watch) race in worsening conditions, as valentino takes his time to get comfortable with the grip levels before slowly and surely working his way through the field and stalking first casey then nicky hayden around the track. he makes it to the front before eventually the race has to be called off - and, in a rare moment of unity, valentino and casey are seen briefly talking to ezpeleta together, presumably to tell him they have less than zero interest in going out again in that weather. they get their way and the race is called off, with valentino bagging his fourth consecutive victory - a streak he of course started at laguna. his second and last win on US soil
motegi 2008: the title-sealing race and fifth consecutive win - not the most exciting entry on this list, but earns its place by featuring a bit of a duel between title rivals casey and valentino for the lead (after they both get past dani, casey in a rather rude way that he apologises for with a hand gesture) (not that he gives the position back and valentino immediately swoops through too). motegi had always been one of vale's weakest tracks, and it must have felt extra sweet to clinch the title at the home race of his perennial enemies at honda (as he miserably failed to do in 2005 in a deeply embarrassing performance)
^'scusate il ritardo', or 'sorry for the delay': this title was special given the heartache of the two previous years. all smiles with casey and jorge (who comes to parc fermé to congratulate his teammate)
*sepang 2008: as was sometimes rare in that era, this race involves several good fights going on simultaneously down the order. the fight for the victory ends up coming down to valentino and dani, and it's a nice little duel they put on - plus there's also dovi's dramatic fight for the final podium position to enjoy
jerez 2009: dani and valentino's young teammate jorge lorenzo are the clear pre-race favourites and there's a slight fear one of them will run away with it... but jorge never quite finds his groove and ends up crashing, while dani very much does not run away with it. valentino finds something extra after being absolutely nowhere all weekend, as he had a habit of doing. features valentino shadowing first casey and dani - and a particularly nifty contact-free block pass at the infamous final corner on casey. valentino's first win of a tough season
****catalunya 2009: one of valentino's finest career victories - and another example of his ability to wrest control of a season when he needed to. off the back of two tricky/embarrassing races at le mans/mugello, it felt like the time had come to demonstrate he was a serious contender in that year's championship... as well as assert himself within yamaha over his increasingly troublesome young teammate. the stakes are clear: jorge sorely wanted to win in front of his home crowd and valentino sorely wanted to beat him there. after a strong start, the physically ailing casey falls back, letting jorge and valentino soar off and fight it out as they take turns to tail each other around the track. a duel for the ages and the victory that transforms his fortunes in that season (some more details in this post)
**sachsenring 2009: a few races after catalunya, it was once again jorge and valentino to fight it out for the win - unusual for two yamahas at that track. it's a duel that has been overshadowed by catalunya, but this is another gem: a close and dramatic battle at a time when it felt like jorge was the one who had something to prove. but valentino demonstrates how hard it still is to best him in head-to-head combat, and he ends up beating the number 99 bike by the pleasing margin of .099s (listen I have no evidence for this but in my heart of hearts I 100% believe he noticed and appreciated this fact)
misano 2009: this race followed valentino's massive error in indianapolis, crashing and reopening the championship fight at a time when it looked like he had things perfectly under control. his traditional special home race helmet is dedicated to taking the piss out of himself - featuring a donkey because of how "stupid" he had been. but in misano he was the "flying donkey"... look, it's not the best race you'll ever watch, but after a poor start (surely not), he does do quite a nice job to overtake dani for the lead. in parc fermé, his team dons donkey ears, and he gets his own pair to wear to the podium as he greets his ecstatic fans
**sachsenring 2010: valentino's early season was troubled by a motocross shoulder injury he'd picked up after qatar, and he had to push harder and harder to keep up with an ever-improving jorge. eventually, he pushed too hard and broke his leg in mugello. this was his first race back, returning sooner than anyone had expected (except casey, who thought people were making too big a deal out of the whole thing) - and he immediately was on the pace, to everyone's surprise (not casey's, who thought valentino's main problem was just losing a bit of muscle mass). this race features an excellent duel between casey and valentino in the closing stages for the final podium position, with casey stealing it from valentino at the very last gasp. it was an impressive performance by the pair of them, a heartwarming demonstration of how mediocre bikes and broken legs can be overcome by the power of mutual contempt
***motegi 2010: do you ever feel overcome by the sudden urge to watch someone be an absolute asshole for no good reason? if so, then I have the perfect race for you. jorge is very close to clinching that year's title, and in truth it's a pretty sure-fire thing given dani is out with injury. still, it's generally not considered good form to ride into your teammate at the best of times. valentino continues to struggle with his fucked up shoulder late into the season, but spite will do all kinds of magical things for you. it's a race-long battle for third place between the yamaha teammates, and the last few laps in particular are uh. intense. features valentino dangling out his leg to increasingly comical extents - whether to try and mitigate the shoulder issues or whether to physically block jorge is anyone's guess. jorge basically rides right into the leg more than once. there are at least three separate extremely dubious moves valentino pulls on jorge. you can tell jorge is losing his mind. you can feel the sheer concentrated malice radiating off valentino. when valentino gets off the bike, the mic picks up how he tells the yamaha team that it "was fun". not everyone would agree
^you'd think a season in which valentino had broken his leg might be one where everyone lays off the dramatics a little, but somehow this year was the one in which valentino's relationships with both of his main rivals soured considerably and made the final step from 'rivalry' to 'feud'. there'll always be a slight air of unfinished business to the casey rivalry in particular, but 2010 did end up unwittingly providing us with a few gems. in the motegi qualifying press conference (pictured above), vale talks about how he knows he needs shoulder surgery - but is determined to delay the surgery until the end of the season. it wasn't a good decision for his shoulder
**sepang 2010: the race that immediately follows motegi. valentino doesn't qualify particularly well and starts worse, dropping back to 12th during the first lap as jorge and dovi set out in front. but valentino determinedly sets after them - and when he catches up, they engage in a lovely three-way scrap in the race in which jorge can seal the championship... as long as valentino doesn't knock him off. this doesn't reach the viciousness of motegi, but it still involves three riders who clearly really want to win and also really want to beat each other. his first victory after the broken leg - and his last one for a long time
jerez 2011: thing is, right, if you just ignore the bit where he wipes both himself and casey out and then has to pick the bike up and start again, it's actually a really good ride! can't fault it! did his thing in the wet again! just one little. uh. blot on the copybook. I wouldn't even say the ambition outweighed the talent as much as it was his patience, given he knew it might be the only chance he'd get for a big result for a while on the struggling ducati. it's the kind of misjudgement he makes relatively rarely in his career, and speaks to his frustrations with the continuing shoulder problems as well as the underperforming desmosedici. casey was less than sympathetic
le mans 2011: it's le mans, it's raining, you know how it goes... these conditions were pretty much the only times valentino could manage a decent pace in his ducati years. this one should've gone on the dovi list too actually, not least because jorge executes an extremely rude move on dovi I feel confident in saying dovi did not appreciate (he gets jorge back with a far more polite and civilised move). casey runs off with the win by a fairly obscene margin but behind him there's plenty of talking points - not least the hugely controversial clash between dani and sic that leaves jorge, dovi and valentino fighting for the two remaining podium spots
*le mans 2012: valentino might have expressed mixed feelings over the course of his career about riding in the wet, but it sure did its job during the ducati years as the great big equaliser. now, point of order: in my casey rec list, I described this as 'not a great casey race', which I don't stand by at all. the last casey/vale duel (that also heavily features a vale/dovi/cal crutchlow tussle), with valentino stalking and harassing casey both at the start and the end of the race - though he did exercise some advisable caution... initially. involves a last lap overtake and is valentino's best ducati performance
^the last podium valentino and casey shared, in the race after casey announced his retirement. usually it's a bit easier to tell when a valentino feud is at its worst, and the two of them joked in the press conference about how they were thinking back during the race to their 2011 jerez clash. ducati were in such a miserable place in those two years that in truth, nobody could have done much with that bike - casey certainly could have done more, but by 2010 the bike so awful that valentino outscored casey that season even after fucking up his shoulder and breaking his leg. vale's sole dry podium in the ducati seasons came at an emotional home race in misano the year after sic's passing, though unfortunately it's not a particularly watchable race. there are some other rides in those two years that are strong in isolation, but valentino isn't the star of the show - and really, it'd be a waste of our precious time to talk any more about two years that were a waste of valentino's precious time
qatar 2013: the first race back with yamaha and the first race of a 'qatar trilogy' of sorts, i.e. 2013-15, where valentino just keeps executing extremely watchable races by qualifying poorly/dropping back at the start and then fighting his way through. by the time he catches up with the pack, race winner lorenzo is long gone - but valentino can still have his first fight with the next big thing in motogp, the rookie marc marquez. there's an optimism to this race, the hope of new beginnings in a series that perhaps needed some life breathed back into it... and so did valentino. all three men on the podium have good reason to be delighted, and show it. valentino truly had not known if he could be competitive again after the dark ducati days, and he looks happier here than he has in ages
*assen 2013: his first victory in the post-ducati days and a track at which he had always been strong. partly helped out by jorge's collarbone injury (though assen had always been a bit of a bogey track for jorge), valentino overtook stefan bradl, marc and dani for the win. it's not the most thrilling of races, but is still perfectly enjoyable - and you can tell by valentino's reaction how much it meant to him
qatar 2014: bar a few high points, valentino's 2013 season had been troubled and frustrating as he found himself unable to match the top three in the championship. he decides to make one more big move - this time not by switching teams, but instead by firing his long-time crew chief jb. the start of 2014 is all about seeing if he can become competitive once again... and if he cannot then he will retire. qatar is a promising start, coming back from a poor qualifying to engage in a tightly fought duel with marc that lasts until the penultimate lap
misano 2014: valentino clearly stepped up his game this season, making him decide to continue on racing in motogp in a year in which marc was dominating the competition. race wins, however, remained elusive - but there is nowhere valentino would have rather emerged victorious than his own backyard. the opening stages are a proper fun three-way tussle between valentino, marc and jorge. valentino gets to the front and marc pursues him, so doggedly determined to get the better of valentino that he ends up crashing. the rest of the race isn't all that exciting, but it's notable as the first race in which valentino directly outperformed both marc and jorge when they were fully fit. the ranch visit happens after this race
phillip island 2014: never the most gifted of qualifiers, valentino would continually struggle to get to grips with the new qualifying format introduced in 2013 - and his grid position of eighth was typical of the time. but you can't fault him for his ability to pick his way through the field as he does here, which culminates in his enjoyable duel with jorge for what was then p2. he got lucky with marc's crash out of a sizeable lead, but it was still a good ride to ensure he would be the one to take advantage
***qatar 2015: it takes one corner for the 2015 championship to be blown wide open, when two time defending champion marc marquez goes off and drops to the back of the field. for much of the race, it looks like jorge will be the primary benefactor, battling it out with two revitalised ducatis. valentino starts badly and drops to tenth, but he works his way through the field - and eventually it is he who fights the ducatis for the win. this is actually a really nice marc comeback ride too, even if he never comes into victory contention. it is also a statement victory from valentino. game on
^valentino started the season on a high, daring to hope that the elusive tenth title might finally be his. the optimism would last roughly until they got to europe and jorge hit his stride, after which it was a gruelling defensive campaign to try and cling onto his points lead
**argentina 2015: the thing is, right, qualifying poorly isn't great. starting poorly also isn't great. but if you want to be fighting for titles, you should maybe pick a struggle and stop doing both. valentino's championship bid that year has all these charming races where he's still at the fuck end of nowhere after the first lap before heroically picking his way through the field, which feels needlessly exhausting but there we are. it is, however, exciting to watch how he creeps closer and closer to marc - and he eventually catches up on the penultimate lap. the resulting duel is short but memorable
****assen 2015: a duel that will always be remembered for the controversy surrounding the final chicane, but the whole race is a fantastic watch. valentino needed a result after jorge had won four races on the trot and had led 103 consecutive laps - and he played the weekend perfectly to achieve it. his only pole of the season and, excitingly, actually a good start too... but marc quickly slots in to sit on his rear tyre and it's a fight that continues the entire race. did valentino know what marc had been intending to do at the final chicane, given marc had admitted to repeatedly executing the move during that weekend's practise sessions? or was it just quick thinking that allowed him to read marc's move and realise he only had one counter available? we'll never know for certain - though marc was suspicious of valentino's motives and eagerly made his thoughts on the matter known in the post-race press conference. the beginning of the end
**silverstone 2015: after brno, valentino had surrendered the championship lead for the first time that season on countback and it was obvious he was in serious trouble. silverstone had proven a fairly happy hunting ground for jorge over the years and it looked like he would continue doing his thing that weekend... but then the rain came to the rescue. valentino spends most of the race with fellow wet weather expert marc stalking his every move, until marc goes down and valentino is left managing the gap to a late-charging petrucci. one of the finest wet weather performances of his career - and in several ways jorge got lucky to limit the points damage
^valentino's shadow, until marc pushed it too far and crashed. was marc more determined to beat valentino here than he would have been anyone else? valentino sure seems to think so - he later references both this race and misano as ones where marc aroused his suspicions. who knows, he might be right, but there's still a sizeable difference between competitive fervour and conspiracy
****phillip island 2015: one of the classic multi-rider fights. what valentino lacked in outright pace, he made up for in wheel-to-wheel skill and fighting spirit... except in the end, he couldn't completely make up for the deficit. all year, valentino had been fighting against the odds to keep his championship dreams alive - but at last, they were truly slipping, slipping, slipping away
**sepang 2015: one last roll of the dice, classic rossi-style... but this time it all goes horribly wrong. when the duel between marc and valentino arrives, it has an air of inevitability about it - as, perhaps, does the final outcome. but the fight itself is captivating to watch, in a raw brutality that befits the tragedy we are watching unfold. the penalty that valentino receives after the race is what truly dooms any remaining title hopes
valencia 2015: another doomed title decider, though valentino's race itself cannot really be faulted. he picks his way through the field from the very back and makes it to fourth, but he could never have hoped to catch up to the top three. quite a boring race afterwards bar some late marc/dani scrapping
jerez 2016: it is admittedly hard to vouch for the quality of this race precisely because it is such an extremely non-valentino way to win. clear and complete domination of the race - in a way he had otherwise been incapable of doing post-2009. while the title fight ended up being a bit of a dud for various reasons, early 2016 held promise that this year valentino would be able to match his two enemies on raw pace
***catalunya 2016: after the dramatic closing stages of the 2015 season, everyone was of course waiting for the first proper on-track duel between valentino and marc. it took a while to get going at catalunya, with valentino getting a typically poor start and having to ruthlessly work his way through to even get to the marc fight. but it's worth it once he gets there - like all their on-track encounters, it's a fierce battle of wills nicely complemented by the contrast in styles, and you can tell how ferociously determined they are to get the better of each other. the race that prompts the slight rapprochement between the pair of them
silverstone 2016: maverick vinales ran off in the front to claim his first premier class win, though the fight behind him is well worth watching - and warranted a mention on the marc list too. the first part is good, but the final laps are what it's all about, as the multi-rider scrap distills into another vicious little encounter between valentino and marc. as ever, with these two it's personal, and they're hardly shy in their ferocity fighting each other. but valentino makes clear afterwards he has no complaints... even if marc always reserves a "special treatment" for him
cota 2017: a lovely whiff of controversy to one of the better races cota has produced. valentino is involved in a feisty clash with the rookie johann zarco, who was well on his way to acquiring a certain kind of reputation within the premier class. it's fair to say valentino was not a fan, and he's certainly not a fan of zarco's attempted overtake that valentino argued forced him off-track to avoid taking them both down. he's slapped with a three tenths penalty his team decided against informing him of - which he's still unaware of when closing up on dani with a few laps to go
^not quite the hand-holding of yesteryear, but it was something. the pair of them disagreed in the post-race presser about zarco's aggressive riding - and, perhaps, valentino's off-track excursion that supposedly granted him an unfair advantage reminded marc of a certain other previous incident. riding standards remained a major talking point for all of that season, most notably in assen and phillip island (though valentino himself ended up coming under some criticism, in particular by pedrosa after aragon). the two rivals agreed more often than not, even if valentino still had his reservations. after phillip island: "all riders are very aggressive, so you have to be more stupid than them"
**assen 2017: his last grand prix victory and it's as true to him as brno 1996. a rough, bruising tussle between riders who aren't afraid to exchange paint, with plenty of high quality racing on offer. some rain adds to the excitement - and valentino still faced a sturdy challenge on the very last lap. he remains the only rider in history to have recorded a grand prix win over twenty years after his first. he said afterwards that "sincerely I race with motorcycle for what you feel the five, six hours after the victory". in many ways, it feels like a scarcely believable amount of commitment for so fleeting a reward
****phillip island 2017: multi! rider! scrap! in! australia! valentino's strongest result after a broken leg in a motocross accident took him definitively out of the title hunt (the second serious motocross-related injury that year for him). anyhow, they're at it again and it's a brutal battle between several protagonists who are happy to get their elbows well, well out. valentino's leathers were marked by rather a lot of rubber by the end of the race - but the most important thing is that everyone had fun!
sachsenring 2018: valentino's 2018 performances were generally stronger than the results would suggest, with yamaha increasingly out at sea in a new era hurried along by the return of the michelin tyres. still, he put together a strong first half of the season and was marc's main challenger points-wise. even this late in his career, he demonstrated his willingness to continue to learn and improve by studying satellite yamaha rider jonas folger's performance fighting marc the year before at the circuit, joking after the race that nobody had ever told folger the yamaha wasn't supposed to be good around there. while in the end valentino couldn't really pose a significant challenge to marc, he gives it a good go and gets involved in a fun fight with jorge along the way
****assen 2018: one of the classic multi-rider dogfights, and valentino contributes very nicely to the drama of the race - not least as a result of his deep love for the final chicane. while the winner always had something extra in his back pocket, a rather unfortunate late coming together ends up (probably) depriving valentino of what would have been a deserved podium place
argentina 2019: marc disappears the moment the lights go out, but the battle behind him provides plenty of excitement. there's a bunch of riders fighting for the remaining podium places, elbows nicely out, but eventually valentino and dovi have it out in an entertaining contest that goes down right to the very last lap
^winning a last lap duel against andrea dovizioso... what, like it's hard? a year on from an eventful argentina grand prix, marc memorably likens his handshake with valentino to kissing a girl. the last podium the two of them share
andalusia 2020: some silly good defending against his teammate throughout the race that mainly had the effect of allowing fabio to escape. valentino's result was quite the heroic feat given the gruelling physical conditions: 36 degrees celsius with horrendous track temperatures, with only 13 of 21 riders making it to the end. the blistering heat also hardly helped with the tyre preservation that plagued this portion of valentino's career; managing these tyres was one development too far for his ever-evolving riding style to adjust to. two academy riders could have denied valentino's final career podium, but both their bikes had the decency to break down
^three yamaha's stood on the podium that day for the first time since 2014 phillip island, and presumably for the last time until around 2064. valentino celebrated enthusiastically to the empty jerez grandstands, 21 years after his infamous visit to the portaloo at the same circuit. valentino's decision to retire was complicated by the pandemic, his past ability to bounce back from rough patches and - most of all - his inexhaustible passion for racing, but eventually he called it a day after the 2021 season
#brr brr#//#motogp#batsplat responds#race rec tag#nobody count how many races this is. just don't do it#i'm sorry it's just a silly long career#most exciting thing about posting this is finally getting this shit out of my drafts. getting sick of trying to scroll past it#when i was compiling the casey rec list i was like 'oh i feel bad for including laguna'#and by now i've progressed to 'here are valentino rossi's twenty biggest flops'. quite literally if you counted it probably#i do realllly need to go back to casey's list and make a few additions. why did i say le mans 2012 wasn't a good casey race :(#i think i missed out like three of the top six casey/vale duels which is a lesson in checking your notes more carefully before doing these#i do low key hate this list i feel like i've run out of good ways to describe races without getting horrendously repetitive#people always take the piss out of commentators for cliches but you do kinda run out of ways to phrase things pretty quickly#at least i've not once used the phrase 'famous victory'#also btw if you're looking for full noughties seasons to watch - think it's pretty uncontroversial to go 2004 and 2006
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The Eras Tour: Paris Night 1 (My Thoughts)
ALLLLLLLLRIGHT. So because @bettysgarden12 wanted to know my reactions and thoughts on everything that happened today, I thought I would share with the rest of yous. It's probably not going to be very in depth or analytical so fair warning on that hehe. Also this probably isn't in order of the show because my memory is trash haha.
1.First things first. The lover bodysuit. WHaT iN ThE FRiLly HeLl?!?!? I literally still don't know whether or not I dreamt of seeing that new bodysuit. Definitely, lesbian colors represented there and it was confirmed with the orange blazer she wore for The Man. It was not an accident I'm sure to have the inside be pink too.
(Side note: we all knew that The Archer was going to get cut. It actually makes a lot of sense too. I think we are past Taylor asking us to stay, not that she doesn't still hope us too. It's more like she is fine with blowing everything up now instead of focusing on the worry of messing everything up. At least I hope that is the case. We're here for ya Taylor. You got this.)
2. Second, the Fearless dress. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I also saw that it looks really reminiscent of the original dress she wore for her Fearless tour. It's almost like she is going back to what once was.
3. Third, transitioning right into Red was something. The new Red shirt says "This is not Taylor's Version" when Red is in fact Taylor's again. Some of my moots pointed out that it could be referencing the whole Real Taylor vs Taylor The Brand theory that we as a community have been developing for quite some time. With this thinking, it would mean that the Taylor we are seeing is not someone Taylor claims as her own or something like that. It's not truly her which we all knew already.
4. Fourth, we saw a new intro for Speak Now (now officially just Enchanted since Long Live has been axed.) I don't have much to say on that other than I wasn't surprised that Long Live got cut. This cut also makes sense if we are thinking that Taylor is gonna burn it down. No more reminding about the good times or the "needing" fans to stand by her forever.
5. Fifth, combining folklore and evermore was unexpected but also not? Idk it made sense and to me it just seems like it was easier to combine them since room had to be made for TTPD.
6. Sixth, Rep was Rep. Nothing really changed from what I could tell or remember other than THE FREAKING GLASS CASES SHATTERING!!! YOU BREAK THAT GLASS CLOSET TAYLOR! WHOOP WHOOP!
7. Seventh, 1989 outfit was...something. It's just not my cup of tea visually. I DID NOT notice the lion or tiger(???) charm she had on until someone else pointed it out. Very interesting either way.
8. Eighth, putting TTPD before Midnights was an interesting choice. The whole theory that we still have to meet her at Midnight (credit to my moots for pointing this out again) is supported by this I think.
9. Ninth, the dress for TTPD is amazing!! And so are the other two outfits. The marching band uniform and it's possible reference back to ME! music video? It has me in shambles.
10. Tenth, the performance for Who Afraid of Little Old Me was visually amazing and she sang it beautifully (no surprise there) with such emotion that it was impossible for me to look away. Her levitating across the stage was also freaking awesome!
11. Next the empty cages imagery?? The nurses pulling her away from her lover??? The image of her crouching in the middle of this weird ass place??? That one really kind of freaked me out. It was eerie and heartbreaking in a way I'm not quite able to explain at this moment.
12. I was conflicted about I Can Do It With A Broken Heart both before, during, and after the performance. I had a feeling she was going to perform it and I kind of wanted her to just to hear her sing it live but then not because I knew how the fans were going to react. I really did face-palm when everyone yelled "More!" on the livestream but we all knew they were going to. The transition into ICDIWABH made me want to throw something at the TV but I also did snort on the petulance on Taylor's face for the little act. I really liked the old Hollywood theme for the visuals and the dance. It was pleasing to watch. BY THE WAY....HAVING THE OUTFIT FOR ICDIWABH ECHO HER OUTFITS ON REP IS REALLY SOMETHING. She bamboozled me again.
13. Midniiiiiiights. THE BODYSUIT IS MY FAVORITE ONE OUT OF THE ONES WE HAVE SEEN SO FAR. I'm glad that Mastermind was kept. I didn't think that she would have taken away anything from the Midnights era but if there was I had this weird concern that it would be Mastermind. Thank god my anxiety was unnecessary.
14. The surprise soooooongs~ Paris is a favorite of mine so I'm happy she played it but also of course she did. That was another predictable thing that happened. Her performance of loml was again heartfelt. She seems really happy to sing these new songs and it shows.
15. I am pretty freaking sure that the Bejeweled lights were a LOT more colorful and rainbowy than usual. Was that just me? Please tell me it wasn't just me!
Overall, it is safe to say that I was not prepared for the absolute chaos that today brought.
Taylor, it seems like you're really doing this (I reeeeeally hope that is the case) and I'm so happy for you if that is what is happening. You do you and you show us what's up. I'm looking forward to it. <3
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Hi again! Now I'm done with replaying old content and with reading the new chapter!
And damn, I loved it so much!
I have to say, Duri is probably my biggest surprise here. With the character intros, I expected them to be my least favorite RO, but somehow, they "feel" quite different from what I imagined, and I ended up really adoring them! If I wasn't so in love with Oswin, I would certainly have picked them!
Also, "You just bonked a demigod on the nose and lived to tell the tale." has to be one of my favorite lines in an IF ever!
But you know what has me frustrated (not saying that in a bad way)? The fact because of everything that happened, Oswin STILL didn't tell MC what he wanted to tell them nor did he give them that famous gift! I neeeed to know so badly!
On that matter, I've been thinking a lot about what could have caused Oswin to distance himself from the MC the way he did, and so far, I have two main theories - though both may be wrong. I will share but obviously I'm not expecting you to comment on them as that would be spoilery! - First one would be that after the MC started being sick, he felt more and more helpless about that, and his frustration about not being able to help MC ended up translating as him being frustrated WITH MC. As a kid it's possible he didn't think as much on this, but the more he grew up, the more not being able to do anything could have bothered him. And then acting badly with MC could have led him to feel guilty and keep his distances even more. The thing that makes me hesitant about this one though is the fact Lakota already feels that sort of frustration too, and as a healer it makes more sense for him, so I don't know if it would be the same for Oswin. - Second one would be that as he grew up, Oswin started having romantic feelings for the MC, but since he was older than MC - even if both were teens - he felt bad about it, or simply didn't consider the MC could ever reciprocate because of the age gap, which while very small once a person is an adult is way "bigger" for teenagers. In that case, him being frustrated and angry and lashing out may have been a result of him setting himself up for rejection or considering a relationship - even in the future - would be impossible, and thus sort of putting a wall to prevent further damage, even if said wall CAUSED the damage. Though that would highly depend on Oswin canonically having feelings for MC regardless of player's choices when it comes to MC's feelings, and for the time being I really can't tell if that's the case.
Anyway, I'll stop here with the theories cause it's starting to be quite long! But I just need to ask... will we be able to cuddle with Duri again - no matter the form - even if not romancing them? My MC seems compelled to just hug people and animals!
Yay! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!
I was hoping Duri would gain a few more fans with their reveal and it seems that is happening. All the characters are layered, but Duri has some special flavors to discover. They're better experienced in story I think too; they shine a little more true.
And I am so glad you caught that bit with Oswin, my dear! You're the first so far to mention it. Your MC will get the chance to bring that up, don't you worry. He's such a tease sometimes without meaning to be, lol.
I like your take on Oswin, and all I will say (but I won't point to specifics) is that you are on one or more correct paths. Chapter 5 should yield a conversation that will help paint the picture as well. Also thinking I should do some POVs sometime soon, and Oswin has several moments that are well-suited to this.
Duri will be available for cuddles, even the platonic ones in the coming chapters. They're pretty affectionate, especially towards friends.
Thank you for the message my dear, I really enjoyed and appreciated it! ^_^
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🎙chasing you: lee know / bang chan
pairing: lee know x afab!reader x bang chan word count: 1.3k
synopsis: you couldn’t believe you got hired as an intern at your favorite radio show. While hoping to learn the do’s and dont’s of being a radio personality, you start to fall for both of your bosses…
genre: radio show host!au, non-idol!au, love triangle, smut
warnings: will be given on each part ♡
intro | one | two | three
You wiped your sweaty hands on the fabric of your skirt, repeating the same words over and over in your head, “Just walk in idiot!! What are you so afraid of?” But the truth of it was that you were afraid of everything and anything that could go wrong.
The sole fact that you were even standing outside the building terrified you. You kept checking the address on the crumpled-up piece of paper, and sure enough, this was obviously the right place no matter how many times you rechecked it.
A week ago you sat on the corner of your bed, listening to your favorite radio show: Stray Days. You couldn’t help but smile and giggle at the radio personality hosts and the jokes and stories they would tell. There were two of them: Christopher Bang and Lee Minho.
It was just any other normal day listening to their show when the boys announced they were looking for a third host. You jumped at the opportunity and applied on their website, not even thinking you’d be lucky enough to get the job.
But here you are, your luck finding its way to you as you stand in front of the building they record and work in.
You were surprised when you got the email yesterday morning saying you got the job and would start as an intern today. You were up all night choosing your outfit.
You decided to go with your favorite black skirt, white and black striped long-sleeve shirt tucked into the skirt, white high-top converse, and black knee-high socks. Your hair was curled and gently pulled behind your ears. It was an amazing look, your best friend Han even agreed.
Whipping out your phone from your tote bag, you dial his number, and pick up not even a second later.
“You better be calling me from inside that building, Y/N.”
Before you could even speak a word, Han was already speaking again.
“Y/N, dammit I can literally hear the wind on your in. You haven’t gone inside yet?!”
You sighed, “Hannie I’m terrified! What if I fuck up and they hate me?”
“Impossible,” he reassured you, “They are going to LOVE you! I promise. Y/N, girl, you literally fit all the requirements for the job. You’re funny, talented, have an amazing storytelling voice and you’re so creative. Stop doubting yourself and get your ass inside that building before you are late!”
Han’s words were enough to encourage you to walk inside. To push open the door and stroll in like you deserved to be here.
But once the door closed behind you, that confidence left.
“Holy fuck, Hannie.”
You could practically hear the confusion in his voice, “Yes?”
“I’m inside and now I’m scared again.”
“Oh my fuck, I’m hanging up.”
“No!! Han!”
And the line went dead.
You cursed him for leaving you but decided maybe it was best to find where you were supposed to go before you were late.
The hall at the end opened up to a lobby, a receptionist sat at the desk typing away at her computer.
You walked up, once again wiping the sweat forming on your hands.
She notices you right away, “Welcome in! You must be Y/N, correct?” she said with a smile.
You nodded, “Yes, that’s me!”
“Perfect!” She stood up from the chair, pointing you over to the elevator, “Mr. Chan and Lee are waiting for you on the third floor. If the sign is red, do not walk into the studio.”
You once again nodded, “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Oh, call me Jihyo!”
You gave her a soft smile, thanked her again, and made your way to the elevator.
Once inside, you pressed the button for the third floor. A few seconds later, the short ride ended.
You stepped out of the elevator. Reality hits you like a truck. Holy fuck, you’re actually here. You’ve dreamt about being a radio personality. You even joined the broadcasting club in high school. So now that you’re standing in an actual recording studio sent chills down your spine and your heart wanted to leap out of your chest.
There was a small hall that turned into the studio, and the red “on-air” sign was lit up.
A muscular guy sat at the control desk, moving the dials on the soundboard, adjusting the sound coming from inside the recording room.
You slowly walked up, seeing Christopher Bang and Lee Minho themselves. They sat across from each other, laughing together, papers in hand that you assumed were the scripts.
The guy at the desk turned around, removing one of the earmuffs off his head, and turned back around, “You must be the new girl.”
“Yes.” You softly spoke.
“The guys are almost done, they are wrapping up the last bit and will be out to greet you.”
You nodded, the nerves setting in even more.
“Changbin.”
His words snapped you out of your daze, “I’m sorry?”
“Changbin. I’m the tech guy, nice to meet you.”
You’ve heard his name plenty of times from the guys. They always talk about how great of a tech guy he was for them. Sometimes even make jokes and tease him while on air knowing he can’t do anything about it.
Even though Changbin looks like he would fold them out in less than ten seconds alone.
“I’m Y/N, it’s very nice meeting you as well, Changbin.”
Changbin held up his hand, folding each finger down until one remained then switched the sign off.
Christopher and Minho stood from the chairs, setting their headsets neatly on the table.
Your heart pounded against your ribcage, watching closely as the two men who have inspired you to continue your dreams, walked out of the recording studio.
They high fives Changbin, before they stopped in front of you.
You could have sworn they could see how fast your heart was beating, ready to burst open from your chest.
All you could do was stare at them, they were two gorgeously hot men, who happened to be your bosses.
“You must be Y/N,” Christopher’s thick Aussie accent said with a wide smile, “welcome to our studio.”
You nodded, “Thank you for giving me this chance, Mr. Bang and Mr. Lee.”
They both chuckled. You tilted your head in confusion, did you say something wrong?
“We don’t go with Mr, around here,” Minho said, reaching out for your hand, “Call me Minho.” His bunny smile warms your heart, calming whatever nerves that were once there.
You smiled at him, “Thank you, Minho.”
Christopher cleared his throat, gaining your attention, “You may call me by my name or even Chan, whichever you prefer.”
Chan stared down at Minho’s hand still connected with yours, his brows raising.
You pulled away from Minho, a small laugh escaping his lips.
“Now, for the next couple weeks we will train you the basics of being a host,” Chan started, “Changbin will also train you how to properly use the boards and when to switch the volume for the sounds.”
You nodded, “When will I be ready to be in the booth with you both?”
Chan took a step closer to you, your body frozen in place as you stared up at him, “You will have a couple of practice sessions with both of us. There will be a point system, if you reach all the points, you will start being on-air with us.”
Minho leaned down closer to you, his bunny smile even wider than before, “Not to mention if you don’t meet our expectations, you will be removed and we will find another host.”
You glanced back and forth between them, smirks dancing on their faces.
Little did you know the challenges you would face over the next few weeks, but also the way the two would grab your heart.
---
A/N: hello! This is my first ever multi-part imagination! I have been racking my brain on this idea for a couple of weeks now and couldn’t for the life of me decide who would fit better for this. In the end, I decided the two I kept switching back and forth for (they also are both my bias and my bias wreck, so this fic just was perfect for what I’m imagining) I hope you guys enjoy this and look forward to the spice to come! As of right now, this image has three parts, but I will add more if it’s needed for the story to end. enjoy!♡
#channie#leeknowuknow#stray kids#skz fanfic#skz imagines#skz fanfiction#skz scenarios#bang chan x reader#reader x bang chan#lee know x reader#reader x lee know#skz x reader#reader x stray kids#bang chan#lee minho#yeonzzzn writing
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Sonic Stellar - Intro
What if you could catch the impossible?
What if you could obtain the unobtainable?
What if you could go beyond yourself?
It's a thought we have all shared from time to time. The allure is tempting, tantalizing, but some have more drive than others, and we have seen it across generations. Times change, societies change, but opportunity has always been there. Always waiting for the right person to seize it.
...
What?
The Emeralds?
No. Not this time. This is something else. Something more.
Surprised? Yes, you would be. I assure you, this is no fairytale. Let me explain.
Somewhere in this world lies a place like no other. It has its communities and landmarks like anywhere else on the planet, but not many people on the outside know about it. Those who do have been curious... and fearful. And you know what? They're right to be.
Beyond it hides a force. A force like nothing else that has been documented. Despite overwhelming evidence of its existence, it has never been witnessed by any living person, and it cannot be found through conventional means. Not without reason: the barrier is not designed to be broken. Should it ever make contact with our plane of existence, reality would dissolve into sludge before you could even blink. It is not a being... but it is alive.
The few who learned, who weren't dissuaded by the consequences, have tried to exploit it. Oh, they've tried... and none of them succeeded. For all their efforts, the prize would always elude them. Some of them counted their losses. Others lost their minds... or paid with their lives. It did not want to be found. And so it remains that way.
It's a lesson of caution, to be sure. To not tamper with what you can never hope to comprehend. If anyone were to try again, they would need to be serious. They would need to plan to the very last detail. They would need to be quick, and ruthless.
And above all else, they would require a very special kind of genius.
Like, say...
MINE.
------
It was over before it could even begin.
What was once a day of hope, a declaration of strength and unity, had swiftly escaped their grasp before they knew it. To think so much effort could have went down the drain in an instant, after all they had learned. Yet this was the fate that befell the Guardian Units of Nations. They couldn't have predicted it. They were simply no match for it.
G.U.N. had spent the past year recovering. Their wounds had left a lasting mark, and they knew better than to assume otherwise. They certainly had more work to do before they could restore their former glory, but ever since the rest of the world started healing, they too had made significant progress. They had come so close to marching onward, with no more weakness to shackle them. And today, the Commander had given one of his most passionate speeches to date, one that was sure to inspire these brave people for decades to come.
Was.
All of that seemed like a distant memory now, as the Commander collapsed onto his knees, his uniform tattered and dirtied. As he looked on helplessly at the blazing ruin that was formerly their headquarters mere minutes ago, the sweat dried up on his hands, and dripped down his forehead. His breathing was slow, and deliberate. He couldn't tell if anyone else was alive. How did this happen? How could this happen?
He didn't need to guess who was responsible for the mayhem. They were standing right there, staring him dead in the eye.
It was true that they had been taken by surprise, as uneasy as it would be to admit such a thing. Yet it was far from a whole army that they had been forced to take an unforseen stand against. With their training, and their experience, this would have been in their favor. A single, miniature entity should have been quick business, even if it were a robot of that very same description.
But this was no ordinary robot, was it?
Its speed was firmly its power. Throughout G.U.N's history, they had only known a select few who could match it. One of them even worked for them. However, it should be noted that they were also people. This, on the other hand, was a monstrosity whose sheer lack of respite flipped the scales beyond what they could have imagined. Many of them were not given the chance to open fire, and those who did had aimed at where it no longer was. Their weapons meant nothing. Their armor meant nothing. Their legacy, memories, camaraderie... meant nothing. It was no concern for this creature, if you would call it one. It reduced them to square one all over again, and somehow even further if that were possible.
It was a threat in the past. The Commander knew that. This was not a new face, they had seen it before. They should have stood a chance with that fact in mind, even without the benefit of adequate preparation. Yet, as he looked up at the azure automation, in its familiar, angular form... there was something different in the air. He couldn't estimate what it was, and he suspected this would not differ even if he weren't overcome with a raging inferno of inner turmoil, but whatever it was... it wasn't there before. It wasn't with it before.
Metal Sonic held its gaze for what felt like an eternity, as its left hand gripped the Commander's collar so tightly that it had partially torn a hole through it. Though he glared right back at the machine for the sake of his fallen comrades, as his hands curled into fists at the reminder of this injustice... it simply continued to stare. The Commander's breathing grew, and his anger followed suit, but it could sense the fear sealed within, and the vacant visage made it all the more unclear as to whether it was holding off from finishing right away so that it could savor this private moment of despair.
All of these competing debates in his head would soon subside, as he noticed the robot's right hand had slowly begun to rise. He knew what he was in for, yet his composure held on, despite the confusion, fury, and shame he had felt simultaneously. As it prepared for the killing blow, the Commander closed his eyes, for the dignity of not himself, but for his crew.
It was at this point, however, that a voice finally spoke up from afar.
"Don't finish him off just yet, Metal!" The merriment was unmistakable. Painfully unmistakable. "Let me have a man-to-man with him for a precious moment!"
It held onto his collar for a couple of seconds longer, as if it were reluctant to let go... but eventually, it complied without a word. Slowly, the robot released its grip... and threw him to the ground as if he were garbage. As it coldly stepped aside, allowing for its superior to take center stage, its gaze never left the Commander. It continued to stare right at him, like a preying vulture. After recovering from the sudden and heavy blow, the man took a moment to open his eyes, and in spite of knowing full well what he would see, he braced himself all the same. Sure enough, as if by magic, the disgust immediately began to overwhelm his senses as he saw...
Him.
Him.
The deranged mind who brought Metal Sonic and countless other tools of destruction into existence.
The elusive maniac who had been a blight on the world at large for so, so long.
That round body. That wild moustache. That devilish grin. It was him alright, no doubt about that. It was all too familiar... except for a single, yet incredibly significant detail: it would appear that the good doctor had decided a change of wardrobe was in order. As he proudly strutted his way towards the two, with his common toothy smile, the Commander was able to get a better look... and it didn't take long for sheer puzzlement to set in.
The goggles he had been accustomed to resting atop his head were not present this time around. Instead, his characteristic round glasses seemed to be mildly thicker than they were during past endeavors. Covering his upper body was a simple black shirt, buttoned all the way to the top, and tucked into his matching pants. Covering further was a bright red waistcoat, more than a little reminiscent of his more recognizable jacket: fancy to say the least, yet it remained conspicuously unzipped, revealing a small amount of the golden yellow lining from within. Fitting his outrageously sized feet were a pair of what looked to be comfortable dinner shoes, which had pointed black tips as normal for his taste in fashion, but were otherwise completely white.
Among all this, what really got the Commander's urgent attention - not necessarily for the better - were the doctor's hands. They were colored white, as usual, but not because he was wearing gloves. Rather, they looked to be... gauntlets? Perhaps that was not the right word to use, as they looked too compact to be sufficiently clunky for the description, so much so that they could tuck into his black cuffs without much cluttered space... However you would choose to name them, they were visibly made of metal, and they were clenched fiercely, in sharp contrast to his jovial mannerisms. The same mannerisms that had already stood above the Commander before he knew it, his shadow having consumed the other man's entire being.
"Sorry for the check in on such short notice," Eggman began, and not even a second in, he had betrayed his apology with an intoxicating glee that failed to match with the utter carnage that surrounded them. "I would have notified you in advance, but I'm afraid my plans have went along a little faster than expected!" He couldn't help but wiggle his eyebrows, as a not-too-subtle nod to his cruel joke.
"Wha..." The Commander had to let out a strained cough before he could start over. "What... what is the meaning of all this? What are you here for?"
"What am I here for?" Eggman shook his head, as if the answer should have been apparent from the very start, even to such lesser intellects. "To check everything's good, of course! Metal and myself have booked a much deserved holiday for... myself! We couldn't head off without doing a teensy little test run beforehand! Just in case, you know?" Eggman stretched his arms without a care in the world, as if he hadn't just sicced Metal onto the entire military. "No use going straight to Viridonia without a clue, after all!"
"Test run...? Viridonia...?" The Commander could barely choke out his words, as the after effects of Metal Sonic's prior assault had started to take their toll on his weakened body and mind. "What are you talking about? For what reason did you attack us this time?"
The scientist did not respond at first. Instead, after a pause, he began to walk clockwise around the other man. One hand was clasped behind his back, while the other opened up in front of him, revealing more detail of his brand new gauntlets in the process. Their fingertips, painted with the same coat of white as the rest of the device, were ever so slightly pointed, where you could mistake them for small claws if you were further away. It seemed excessive to the Commander, though for all the doctor's notoriety when it came to design, he suspected it had a purpose beyond merely looking intimidating. It was also noted that the palms appeared to have a small selection of buttons on them, though their purpose remained unknown. Perhaps that was for the better.
"Oh, nothing," he shrugged, and glanced at Metal, who predictably maintained his stone cold glare at their mutual enemy. He flexed his shoulders casually, as if daring for someone to put him in his place. "You did absolutely nothing, ho ho! There's no personal strife between us, your little band of merry men didn't cause any trouble for me this time! But between you and me..."
As Eggman continued to monologue, a rookie soldier had slowly crawled into sight, careful to not attract the doctor's attention. He had suffered some damage from earlier, but held on tightly to his semi-automatic rifle, determined to avenge his comrades. Eggman kept at it all the while, even as he stopped in front of the Commander once more. He knelt down, and clasped the man's head with one hand, to which the wounded individual slightly jolted from how icy the gauntlet's touch was.
"I couldn't let you interfere," he said matter of factly. He remained casual, but there was an edge in his voice. The soldier was creeping closer to him from behind. "I've experienced a lot in my lifetime, and now I'm putting all of that experience to use. As I should."
"You won't win," the G.U.N. leader muttered, only half conscious by this point. "You're just a lunatic, a disgrace to humanity..."
This would be the part where Eggman's anger took over. The part where Eggman would get offended by such a dismissal of his unparalleled prestige. Yet it never came. Eggman's smile did not disappear, though the corner tip of his mouth might have twitched. He took a moment to continue.
"Things are going to be very different this time, Commander." He talked as cheerfully as ever, yet it also sounded as though he gritted his teeth towards the end. "This time, there won't be any miscalculations. Allow me to demonstrate with..."
Without warning, the scientist leaped back onto his feet, swerved in the opposite direction at frightening speed for an ordinary human being, and unhesitantly aimed his left gauntlet with a sneer. Before the rookie could fire his rifle, a surge of electricity was unleashed upon him, courtesy of the gauntlet's clawed tips. The assault was swift, though the agonized scream that followed was not friendly company. Even Metal Sonic had taken time off from its intense staring to look to its right at this pitiful sight. Within seconds, the rookie had collapsed.
"Worm," Eggman growled, insulted by the brazen stunt he had just thwarted. For a chump to believe it would really be that simple... the great Ivo Robotnik would never be put down so easily. Not then, and definitely not now. People really ought to know better. He'll make sure of that when they bow before him.
"He thought he could get the drop on me? What a load of..." As he returned his direction to that of the Commander's, he was quick to notice that the veteran had collapsed onto the scorched ground himself. It would seem that the injuries were finally too much for him to persevere through. This actually seemed to disappoint Eggman, as his moustache promptly drooped in accordance with the frown on his face.
"Are you kidding me? He didn't see that awesome move I just did?" He placed his hands on his hips in annoyance. "I didn't even get to finish my speech! Couldn't he have let me finish BEFORE he passed out on me? Bah!" He raised an eyebrow at Metal, who stared back in return, waiting dutifully for any further orders, preferably of the cutthroat variety.
"I guess we were too much for this geriatric to handle," he lightly nudged the body with his foot in frustration. "Ah well, them's the brakes. I know another audience that's out there waiting for me. I'm sure THEY'LL be much more willing to hear me discuss the important things in life."
"Did you... kill him?"
Metal's vision turned to its left, and Eggman quickly looked up and straight ahead, as a new voice called out to him. It was not a voice that would have been recognized by the Commander, had he still been conscious, but Eggman's knowing raise of the chin indicated this was far from the case with him. This voice was a lot smoother than Eggman's, a lot younger than his... maybe a little effeminate as well, yet no less decisively masculine.
"Normally I would," the rotund one mused, as he looked back down at the fallen leader. "Less pests to spray, the better. But with this one..." His smile slowly returned. The idea was just too good to pass up on.
"Leave him," he insisted. "If he dies, then I won't care, meaning no one important will care. If he doesn't, he'll undoubtedly tell all that he saw, and then..."
"You know their best agents will come after you if they find out about this, sir."
The person who the voice belonged to emerged from the shadows. Whether he had been there the whole time was a mystery that only he and his conversation partner knew, but what was arguably more surprising, however, was that he was neither a human like Eggman, or a robot like what he was famous for. Rather, he was a platypus.
A white platypus, to be exact, albeit with a grey beak, as well as grey streaks that ran through his curls, which as it turned out, were slicked all the way to the side of his head. He wore a waistcoat similar to Eggman's, though unlike the taller specimen, his was buttoned tightly shut, and it was colored a disarming deep pink, in contrast to his pointed shoes. The sleeves of the shirt that he wore underneath were purple and puffy, and a single black glove was on his right hand, complete with a slot that remained empty... currently.
"Of course they will, Starline," Eggman replied, as he smugly crossed his arms. "Exactly what I'm counting on."
"I see. My apologies," the platypus bowed out of respect. "It was not my intention to doubt your... magnificence, sir." He seemed to have had some minor trouble completing his sentence, as he focused perhaps too intently on the subject of his field of vision.
Eggman simply grinned back at him, not dismayed in the slightest. Not openly, anyway, which was rather unlike him. For anyone else, his jolly countenance would be a sign of misery to come. For this new recruit, it was an honor to see in person... though he was less keen on being judged by Metal's frozen scowl.
"You still have a lot to prove yet," he started, as he clasped his hands in front of his chest. "It's not often I employ someone, not when my own insight is all I ever need, but I brought you along because I could tell you've got a talent! Let it be known that in this great wide world of ours, out of all the drooling imbeciles that run rampant within it, your knowledge and devotion elevates you so far above them that you can be confidently described as... average. So your contributions will serve my audacious and brilliant plan well! I'm sure you understand what a privilege it is to be recruited by the greatest genius who has ever lived, yes?"
"Absolutely."
"And you'll make sure to obey my every command, exactly as I wish for them to be carried out?"
"Indubitably."
"And what else?"
"...Destroy anyone who opposes you."
"And pray tell, mister Starline... who shall dare to oppose me?"
To the untrained ear, this would seem like a downright foolish question for a man with a history as his to ponder. Surely he would never need to ask, for he should know the answer before it could even register in his memory banks, nevermind all of the relevant associates that have only multiplied over the years.
However, as the doctor's roaring cackle echoed throughout the freshly decimated G.U.N. headquarters, it was all too clear that he was no fool. He said it with full intent. He knew exactly what he was doing. And Starline knew it too.
He didn't forget about him. On the contrary, he had him specifically in mind. And as the three of them finally began to walk away, with Metal throwing one last hateful glare at the now-unconscious Commander, the doctor's laugh never slowed down, and continued to echo in the distance even as the crackling of fire took over.
It was time to pay Viridonia a visit.
---
To Prologue, Part I...
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Persona Tales (Better AU Name Pending)
[This au idea includes stuff from P3, P5R (which was my intro to Persona even if I haven’t quite finished it yet), DT17, and PKNE. Double Duck may be referenced, but I’ve never had the chance to read those and have only read what other people have mentioned about it.]
First off, the Persona 3 PC in this is Kotone Shiomi. Igor is unhappy about the end of her story and wants to do something to help her. He’s seen the life/happiness that the other Wild Cards had found in their lives after their respective adventures and wishes he could have seen the same thing for her.
And, after a lot of careful thinking, he thinks he has an idea of how to pull it off. But there are a few hitches that he knows he needs to work around.
Firstly; he needs to find a way to make the Great Seal self-sustaining so that he can get a hold of Kotone’s soul without destroying the thing that she’d given her life to create in the first place.
Secondly; he needs to create a new body for her since her original is long gone. (In the Japanese burial tradition of cremation too.) And being brought back as a ghost wouldn’t really help with living the life she’d missed out on.
Thirdly; he can’t just drop her back in her own world because she’s been dead for a while by this point. And the world isn’t really built for someone to come back from the dead after roughly a decade (probably more).
He needs to find someplace new to let Kotone have the chance to live the life she never got to have. So he uses his connection to Velvet Rooms, the plane between the Mind and Matter, to seek out a new world for his plan. Somewhere that has a connection to the same plane but is different enough so that she can (hopefully) avoid a similar ending.
It takes a bit, but he eventually settles on one that is close to the world Kotone came from while still different.
It’s not a perfectly peaceful place, but it’s full of wildness and wonder and things that would have been impossible in the universe she came from. The rules and its connection to the Collective Unconcious are different too, but there are some similarities that he hopes will allow Kotone to not feel too out of place there.
(He can tell that this world will have things happen in its future. Things that a Wildcard would be able to help with. As both a player and a guide.)
Now, he needs to find someone willing to help her find her footing in this new world.
Making use of his Near-Omniscience, he searches the world for someone who would fit the bill. Preferably, someone of a compatible Arcana. Perhaps even another Fool, who could learn to act as another Wildcard.
(Philemon and Nyarlathotep’s game didn’t exist in this new world, but the tools could still be used for good.)
Since the fate of the world isn’t at stake, he doesn’t really need to follow his usual rules to find a Wildcard. Which means he can shop around more to find someone to take the challenge. He doesn’t need to pick a blank slate, he can find someone more experienced/worldly to take the job.
He makes a list, carefully going over his options as he goes.
But, of course, since there’s so much freedom of choice it’s surprisingly hard to settle on a single person. So many who slot in well that he can’t figure out which one to actually choose.
He decides he’ll just ask, instead of making the decision for them.
He picks one at random, connects to them in a dream, and readies himself to actually ask/pitch his request.
.
Donald Duck is a teenager who's just finished high school and is still trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life. Adventuring with his family is fun, but he's not sure he wants to do only that for the rest of his life. (And being a secret superhero doesn't exactly pay the bills.)
As such, he's following grandma's suggestion of taking a Gap year to get some work experience and to figure out what he wants to do for his future. Uncle Scrooge has kind of helped by offering him a few places he owns that need extra hands, but Donald's still thinking about which ones he likes better.
(He doesn’t want to pick one that’ll end in him having to deal with someone sucking up to him to get in Scrooge’s good books or anyone that’ll be a jerk because they think his uncle would pull favorites in a job. He thinks Uncle Scrooge gets that since hasn’t been pushing for him to take any one of them particularly hard.)
(Or Uncle Scrooge was waiting until he’d gotten his hands on a specific one for Donald to do. Either could be true when it came to his Uncle.)
Right now, however, he's very confused about this strange (but honestly rather pretty) room he’s found himself in and the stranger with the really pointy nose and bulgy eyes sitting in a chair in front of him. He thought he was just heading to bed before wandering around for places that would be hiring tomorrow, but now he's here and that looks like a contract of some kind on the table and he doesn't know what's happening.
Thankfully, the weird man doesn't leave him in the dark for too long.
The stranger introduces himself as Igor and says he's there to request Donald’s help. One that he's free to turn down if he's not interested.
Mr. Igor explains (loosely) that something bad happened to someone he was helping/watching over, and that person was hurt badly. He wants to make it right by giving them the chance to start over, in a new place that won't have the same problems that got them hurt before and he’s thinking of having Duckburg be that place. But they'll need someone to look out for them and help them find their way. They also have special powers that might make the transition a little harder, because it’ll probably make them homesick and they can’t go back due to the thing that happened to them.
And he wants Donald to help.
He says that he'll give Donald some stuff to make it easier (something that’ll help him understand them? Donald’s not sure what that means), but he's not just dropping a random person on him and leaving. There are some more details/explanations thrown in before they're done.
Mr. Igor says he'll give Donald two weeks to think about the offer/request. And he's free to turn it down.
(That gets emphasized. Which is kinda of nice, most people don’t make it an option for him.)
He’s given a blank tarot card (at least, Donald thinks it’s a tarot card. It’s way too tall to be a playing card) which Mr. Igor says will appear in the “Conscious World” with him, so he’ll know this wasn’t all just a really strange dream. And he’ll talk to Donald in a week to clarify anything he wants to know about and then the week after that, he’ll come to find out Donald’s final answer. There’s a loud ringing of a bell, which sounds like the Wake Up bell on a ship to Donald, then he’s jolting up in bed just a few minutes before his alarm clock is supposed to go off.
And, sitting on his bedside table, is the same blank card from his dream. (Which means it wasn’t actually a dream…)
#crossover#ducktales 2017#dt17#duck avenger#paperinik#pkne#donald duck#persona 3#kotone shiomi#persona tales#Will post more of this outline later#and lots of random notes#like how kotone is gonna look in this world#rosie rambles#my stuff
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Hey! I have just played the update (and also the gamer route in the first chapter that I waited to play through so that I could get it at the same time as chapter 2). And man, the emotions are HIGH!
This game is such a rollercoaster for me. When I first saw the intro post a long time ago, before I could even play, I thought that Romero would probably be my chosen RO, and if not them, then Sam. Wyatt was a non-option to me. How wrong I was! Ever since they first appeared, Wyatt stole my heart! I couldn't imagine picking any other RO anymore! But also, now that I've reach chapter 2... the opposite is true too... Never EVER would I have expected I would DESPISE Romero that much! I'm not saying this as a bad thing though, in the sense that the writing was great! But I genuinely want to utterly destroy them at this point! And I must congratulate you on that, because damn, I rarely feel that way about characters in IF! Which, funnily enough, also has the side consequence of me wanting to find Sam's soulmate at all costs. I think because of what Romero did, finding Sam's soulmate has sort of become... "personal"(?) to my MC, so to speak.
It's sort of hilarious to think I expected to like Romero most and Wyatt the least.
But yeah, my MC deeply believes in his job, and it's something that is incredibly important to him. Not only that, but he also has very high job ethics, and this whole mess is basically his worst nightmare - and from my MC's pov, indirectly it's Sam's as well, though as an innocent victim caught in the crossfire (obviously, that also means I can't even see Sam as a RO anymore heh).
Please please please tell me we'll be able to report what happened to Eugene? This isn't something that should be left unattended, and I can't imagine my MC not doing so. At this point, it's not even a matter of MC's status but a matter of doing something about the chaos Romero unleashed and trying to make things right. And also I'm literally freaking out IRL because of my own empathy towards my MC here, heh.
Anyway, it was an awesome update and I can't wait for more!
But I had a few small coding issues here and there:
I've been having trouble with the gamer route in chapter 1 and my performance results compared to the other route (I believe I did very well but I didn't get any performance boost), and I ended up taking a peek at the code and I've noticed there seems to be an issue with the bots part, where I should get 10 effort points for having 250 bots at a specific point, but the game checks for 25 instead, and so I only get 5 points there (since it's still above 50) - this difference in points seem to make it impossible for me to get a performance boost on the gamer path if I don't have a shroud oriented character (and I recall you saying you made it so it would be possible now, hence me now doing that path since my MC is empathy oriented but also an avid gamer).
Another issue I had was at the very end of the gamer path, with this: "They are about to be altered, restoring the sanctity of Vivian and Selma's privacy and releasing whatever hold your powers might still have on Jack Tomaszewski." - but I have no idea who that person is. As far as I know, I have never met them in the entire playthrough?
In chapter 2 there is this line: "the man across the table from you asks, voice laced with concern" - but I believe it's Sam talking, right? Sam is female on this playthrough.
Hope these help!
Thank you! Glad it was such an emotional experience 😁
Which, funnily enough, also has the side consequence of me wanting to find Sam's soulmate at all costs. I think because of what Romero did, finding Sam's soulmate has sort of become... "personal"(?) to my MC, so to speak.
Well, then you might like what's going to happen next!
Please please please tell me we'll be able to report what happened to Eugene?
Possibly.........
As for the reported errors...
Thank you for letting me know! I've already edited and uploaded 2 and 3.
The bot situation is a bit more complicated. The intention is that a no-power MC has an easier time tending to them because of their experience with such convoluted plans. Others need to ideally start with the medium number and not leave the botnet unattended (a high number of them running on their own results in more culling by the forum firewall). If that doesn't stand, I will need to rethink the math there. I'll tend to that before the reputation stat starts manifesting in the game.
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YANDERE SIMULATOR VOICE OVER SCRIPT: Info-Chan= All Recorded Lines as of 9/27/2023
Transcribed by Yours Truly <3
GAME INTRO- CONTENT WARNING:
Info-Chan-
"Warning: this game contains bullying, kidnapping, torture,
murder, suicide, graphic violence, partial nudity, kittens,
raw sewage, cooked sewage, microwave-ready sewage,
true nightmares, eldritch monstrosities, bald assassins,
DK mode, fake tans, Titans,
murderous ice fairies, impossibly strong punches, genocide,
Crusades, spooky scary skeletons,
(SUNG)"standing on the edge!"(SUNG)
zombies, vampires, succubi,
lewd manga,
busty pink-haired schoolgirls,
game-breaking bugs,
an overworked programmer,
and much worse."
{END WARNING}
[AYANO MEETS INFO-CHAN (CLASSIC SCRIPT)]
Info-Chan-
"Hey.'
Ayano-
"Do I know you?"
Info-Chan-
"I saw you stalking an upperclassman today."
Ayano-
"Do you have a problem with that?"
Info-Chan-
"No, I wanted to give you some information about the girl he was with. Her name is Osana Najimi. She has a crush on him. She believes in the myth about the cherry tree behind the school.
Ayano-
"The myth that if you confess your love to someone underneath that tree on a Friday, they are guaranteed to accept your confession?"
Info-Chan-
"Correct. She's planning to confess to him next Friday."
Ayano-
"Why are you telling me this?"
Info-Chan-
"I would be happy if something bad happened to Osana Najimi. I think you might be the right person to give her what she deserves."
Ayano-
"Who are you?"
Info-Chan-
"I'm the person nicknamed Info-chan at school.
Ayano-
"I've heard rumors about you.
You blackmail girls and sell panty shots to boys.
Nobody knows your real name."
Info-Chan-
"The rumors are true.
If you ever need a favor,
text me a panty shot,
and I'll give you whatever support I can.
If you want to know personal information about anyone at our school,
just send me a photograph of their face,
and I'll tell you everything I know about them."
Ayano-
"You're disgusting.
Info-Chan-
"You're a stalker."
"If you want my help, text me.
If you don't care, ignore me."
You have one week until your precious senpai belongs to Osana Najimi.
I hope you make her suffer."
{END SCENE}
[CAUGHT TRYING TO SPY ON INFO-CHAN]
Info-Chan-
"I know you're there."
"Run along now."
"There's nothing for you to see here."
{END SCENE}
[INFO-CHAN REMOTE ACCESS TAKE OVER]
Info-Chan-
"Trying to Look up my information?
"Don't bother."
"There's nothing you need to know about me."
"You're a client."
"And I'm a provider."
"That's all we need to know about each other while doing business with you."
{END SCENE}
[UI ACTION LINES- INFO-CHAN]
CONCLUSIVE RESPONSE:
Info-Chan-
"Pleasure doing business with you."
PANTY SHOTS:
Info-Chan-
"you don't have enough panty shots to afford this."
2. INTERACTION RESPONSE:
Info-Chan-
What do you need?"
3.REWARD RESPONSE:
Info-Chan-
"This one's free. Don't get used to it."
[END SCRIPT]
Thanks for reading. Please Share. and like! <3
#actually psychotic#yandere omori#yandere moodboard#yandere nct dream#yandere nerd#yandere nsft#yandere noncon#yandere obey me#yandere obsession#yandere oc#yandere things#yandere#yandere aesthetic#yandere art#yandere asks#yandere bf#yandere anime#yandere black butler#yandere blog#yandere chan#yandere character#yandere concept#yandere bpd#yandere confession#yandere community#yandere cookie run#yandere boy#yandere coping#yandere cult#yandere danganronpa
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hello my dear! 💕
may i inquire as to numbers 4, 16, 44, and 88 on your spotify wrapped? also your favorite lyrics from each of those if they have lyrics and if you would like to share! ☺️
also i hope you’re doing well!! 🥰🥰
HELLO HELLO HELLO I'M HERE FINALLY I'M HERE I DID MY HOMEWORK!!!!!
first of all hello my beloved friend and thank you so SO much for this ask 💝💝💝💝💝 hohohohoho that's a couple of songs there niiiiice so i'm gonna talk a lot here which is my favourite thing to do when it comes to music so let's goooooo
let's start, song number 4 -> howl by florence + the machine.
ok where do i start with this song....a masterpiece, a song that is TAILORED for me and my brain and my taste and im gonna shut up now. i knew it was gonna be on my spotify wrapped this year and tbh i even expected it to be no1. it's impossible to choose favourite lyrics but let's see
just. delicious song mwah mwah mwah 👩🍳💋
song number 16 -> i'm your man by leonard cohen.
as i said about the previous song, where do i even start with this one too.....oh man. first of all, let me say, leonard cohen has (or, had, but songs are immortal) one of my favourite voices and one of the best i've ever heard in my life. i won't pretend to be a hardcore fan or whatever, i only listen to like 5-6 songs of his but i'd say this one is one of my favourites. the lyrics, the melody, the way he sings, that damn voice......ooooooof. again, hard to choose favourite lyrics but let's see (is there a pattern here? 👀 whoooops)
and then the music that follows.....ugh. what a song.
song number 44 -> happy together by the turtles.
i'm gonna sound like a broken record because AGAIN, where do i even start with this one. if i had to choose only 5 of my favourite songs of all time, this one would definitely be there. one of my favourite intros and riffs, one of the loveliest songs i've ever heard in my life and it makes me so emotional. when it comes on the radio and i'm with my cats i tear up because i dedicate it to them ☺ i like to think there's not a single person in the world that doesn't like this one, it's impossible!!!!! hard to choose favourite lyrics, the entire song is so lovely. ❤ let's see
aaaaand last but not least, song number 88 -> mama by genesis.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭 this is my last year's no1 song fhbhsbdjn as i said in one of those posts i avoided listening to it this year so it wouldn't accidentally end up being no1 again 😭😭😭😭😭😭 kind of a guilty pleasure song.....idk.......maybe....... . these numbers you chose with the exception of number 44 are very horny songs it seems bhfhrbs😭 won't say much about this one, just that THE SYNTH and the guitar are delicious. and the song is very horny. sorry. favourite lyrics..........
that's it! thank you so much once again. i had so much fun answering this thank youuuuuuu 💝💝💝💝💝💝
spotify wrapped is HERE! send me a number 1-100 and I’ll tell you the song it corresponds with on my top 100 playlist (here's the post if anyone else wants to send me an ask and play 😁)
#asks#thank youuuuuuu thank you for not saying just one number and letting me kinda ramble about music ehehehehhe 😁#hope you're doing well too i'm sending lots and lots and lots of kisses ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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I'm kinda nervous about this but here we go. I've been trying to write a fanfic for a while now and it might be one of the weirdest crossovers out there but I hope you'll bear with me here. This would be a crossover between Critical Role and Death Stranding.
Now, I know Death Stranding isn't everyone's cup of tea but I really like the environment, the story and the overall vibe of the game really. And I thought what if Imogen was a porter, mostly so she could get away from everyone's thoughts back in the city? Explore the world as a porter and she'd meet Laudna and the rest of Bell's Hells along the way? And you know, just see where it goes?
But yeah, I thought I'd share the intro here cause I feel like I can't trust my own judgment on this anymore since I've spent so long rereading and rewriting parts over and over again and I know it's not a good thing. I think I'm approaching writing like I approach drawing but where I'd kind of skip the draft part of writing and jump right to the details like some people, myself included, would sometimes skip the sketch part where it can be real messy and it doesn't have to be perfect on the first try but you just go straight for the details and make your life harder in the process.
Anyway, here's the intro, I hope it's not as bad as I think. Let me know what you think!
Also, the lyrics are from the ost if you're not familiar with the game.
youtube
________________________
'See the sunset
The day is ending
Let that yawn out
There’s no pretending…’
Is someone's singin'?
Drifting in and out of consciousness, the voice sounded so distant, and the words were so hard to make out at first, the voice might as well be humming. It was like shouting in the main hall of a distribution centre, but Imogen recognised the melody. The notes echoed through her mind like a bullet ricocheting off the walls of an empty hangar as her brain tried to make sense of the jumble of words.
Imogen couldn't tell where she was. The room she was in was silent, save for the melody she could hear from time to time in her rare bouts of consciousness.
The voice was comforting in its rasp. It had a warmth to it that both made her want to drift off to sleep again and wake up to properly listen to it and praise the person looking after her. It sounded so sweet; Imogen could swear she tasted the slightest hint of honey on her tongue for a second…
Being a porter, Imogen’s had her fair share of accidents on the job. They were inevitable but nothing she couldn't handle as she would usually sleep it off and be on her way the following day, like nothing happened.
She could tell this one must have been… something, if her current state was any indicator.
And while waking up with no recollection of what happened to her was unnerving and confusing at first, she was taken aback by the lack of nightmares and felt a small form of relief at not waking up with a start for once.
As reality hit her, she couldn't remember ever feeling this awful in her life.
Her legs and feet ached in a way that made it nearly impossible to move them, her back was unbearably stiff, and she could feel pins and needles in her fingers where her red and purple lightning-like scars started and extended past her elbows, the marks prickling under her skin. Her face started to feel warm, uncomfortably so.
Imogen felt a presence next to her, a cold hand resting gently on her forehead and a thumb brushing softly over her brow, cooling her skin and calming her down.
Shh… You’re okay darling. Go back to sleep, you’re safe.
It was that voice again. Almost a whisper in her mind. Like the softest breeze through her hair or a soothing balm on a bruise. Like a soft melody lulling her to sleep.
Curiously, as though the voice held all the answers in the world, as though it was the voice of reason, Imogen felt compelled to listen to it.
She felt... safe.
So, after trying for a while to figure out what happened to her and how she got here, wherever that was, realising she was indeed still too tired to even think about trying to move, Imogen surrendered to exhaustion, falling into another dreamless slumber.
***
Imogen could faintly hear the commotion going on around her as the dust settled around her after collapsing to the ground. She heard rushed footsteps coming towards her and someone calling her name. One voice quickly turned into multiple panicked voices shouting, giving directions and telling her to stay awake, all at the same time. She couldn’t make sense of it all and the young porter was exhausted, the world was spinning around her. She was shaking and could barely feel her legs and her arms seemed too heavy for her to lift.
She didn’t even know if she was cold or hot and if her heart was racing or beating a lot slower than it should. She couldn’t keep her eyes open. Everything was a blur. Everything hurt.
She couldn’t comprehend any of the words coming out of those people’s mouths anymore.
She was adrift. Lost in a sea of sounds her brain just wouldn’t register as she tried in vain to collect herself.
She'd had enough voices in her head when she was still stuck in the city. Why couldn't she ever get some peace and quiet?
Her body was begging for some well-deserved rest, a searing pain settling above her left eye, throbbing and making her nauseous as the overcast sky above her burned her eyes when she tried to open them, and the world kept spinning and spinning endlessly.
Voices kept calling to her, still telling her to stay awake.
Make it stop… she heard herself whine faintly.
So, against better judgement, not caring what she was told, she closed her eyes, shutting out the blurry figures hurrying about, the hands shaking her shoulders and lightly tapping her cheeks to keep her alert. The shouting, the urgency, the pleading...
Then everything went quiet.
Then darkness.
'I will hold you
And protect you
So, let love warm you
Till the morning… ‘
________________________
And there you go!
Again, please let me know what you think, I'd be happy to have some feedback even if it's only the introduction. I have more written for it but I'm still figuring out if I want this to be a one-shot or a few chapters long, it'll depend on how much I write if I get enough motivation for it, I guess.
Oh and if I ever post this, I named myself Snappy-Twig on Ao3, I just love that codename so much, I coulnd't not use it 😂
#critical role#cr3#bells hells#laudna#imogen temult#imodna#imodna fanfic#cr fanfic#fanfic#laudna singing lullabies anyone?#fanfic idea#crossover#critical role meets death stranding#please bear with me?#Youtube
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