utilsbor-by

[kaerinio]

i just cracked myself up thinking of "the schuyler sisters" . . . but it's rhaenys, aegon, and then jon/aemon and dany jumping in to say their names at the exact same time JFKLDSAJFKLDJF.

[jealousmartini]

💌 She's an overachiever. "Pressure"? What pressure? ⋆₊˚⊹🔖

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

My second year of college is coming in hot guys. And I'm talking the 3rd of September, in TWO WEEKS TIME HOT.

But you already know your girl has BEEN locked in with her subliminals for the next term, cus I've had a whole thing going on since my first term to my second yk. so come a little closer so I can show yall what my game is on

p.s.a!! I am an animation and games art student, so most to all of my work is research and art based. And when I say most of my work is research based, I mean there is an ungodly amount of writing that is expected from the students and it's not even just the amount it's WHAT you write about that gets you the grade and how well your art conveys your ideas.

Also "Ex." = Example

╰┈➤ " My average college day experience as an art student/loass babe " click here!

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"What? Like it's hard?" At the top of her class, always ontop of her work, never slacking off, always locking in.

   ── .✦  ┆  𖤐  ┆  ␥ 

|| Perfect focus, super attentive, always pays attention and makes notes. I am never afraid to ask for help or advice and I always receive the answers I need to understand the work; no room for confusion here.

|| Very strong, clear memory, perfect photographic memory.

|| Studies so much, it's my hobby, never underestimates myself or downplays my work, has always prioritised my work and has always understood the importance of doing work at home. Studying has never been a struggle for me because I don't struggle with discipline. I actually find so much fun and enjoyment doing homework. I always feel so productive and proud of myself whilst managing my time and looking at the amount I have done afterwards. Especially with the amount of validation and points I earn from teachers. It is always so satisfying seeing my high grades after a complete project. It's like a treat.

|| Creative genius, always brainstorms with words or loose sketches; not a single idea goes to waste. Research enthusiast, I could never shy away from making a thorough, detailed, and well planned out analysis, moodboard or mindmap. And multiple of them at that. I always know EXACTLY what to write and never wastes precious time and space yapping.

|| The life of an art student is exciting, fulfilling, flourishing, inspiring and strict. In the healthy way of course. My parents and teachers are always understanding of my burnouts and art block which are very rare thank god; and it's a good thing I have my closest friends to comfort me through my work. They are always so supportive, encouraging and honest with me as I am with them. We always travel together to the college (when I don't feel like being alone) and we always travel back home together. I mean we are our own personal friend circle so of course we buy snacks for each other and meet up for lunch; it's not even like we need to worry about price since we have more than enough on us. College is 100 times better when my best friends are with me, everything feels so comfortable with them

|| Perfect, cunty, and ideal artstyles. Always chooses the ones most appropriate for a certain design, and never forgets how to convey a certain look. I know, understand and draw human, animal, vehicle, clothing anatomy and terminology, enviromental composition, colour theory and terminology, the 12 principles of animation, the 7 fundamentals of art (Line, pattern, colour, texture, tone, shape and form), and the fundamentals of character design like the back of my hand

|| I know how to layout a design page appropriately, I always know how to theme and colour co-ordinate. Written placement and art placement are always perfect to the T and nothing looks off. All together, I show off my own unique style of work and impress my teachers of classmates

Ex. Subliminals in my art student playlist

"Over achiever", "Desired art skills", "Desired (college) life"

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

"Ugh she is always doing the most with her work😒-" And she always looks good doing it. She's got the looks and the discipline; she's got it all

   ── .✦  ┆  𖤐  ┆  ␥ 

|| Gorgeous, curly, and ideal (3B to 3C) hair. My hair never gets greasy, dry, breakage, damage, frizz, dandruff, or split ends. My curls are always moisturised, soft, bouncy, and defined. I never experience a bad hair day, and my hair is super easy to manage. Detangling my hair is a breeze, and styling my hair is even easier; every style looks exactly the way I want it and never loses the volume or shape throughout the day.

|| Ideal, fit, slim thick pear. Short shoulders, small ribcage, medium-sized chest, 20 inch waist, wide hips and slight dip, long legs, fat ass but not too fat, chubby but fit thighs, slimmer defined calves and small feet. The perfect pear. And every outfit looks exactly the way I want; I never look awkward but I always look put together and stylish.

|| Craziest face card. Ms. Face economy infact. I have a round heart shaped face with dark brown bambi eyes and long fluttery lashes, a medium straight nose bridge, plump pink "keyhole" lips, and the clearest, softest brown skin ever... Yet I still put make up on- yes I do because it's fun and I like it, so it's always awesome knowing I can do my make up flawlessly and nail my looks perfectly

Ex. Subliminals in my ideal appearance playlist

"3C hair type", "Pear body", "Desired face", "brown caramel skin"

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

I'll probably add smore later :3 k bye

[maluceh]

Top Lily variants? I've seen so many "[random hp character #10] variants" online, with various degrees of accuracy, but I don't remember ever seeing one for lily. Your Jily ones were so accurate (the only pair I'm not super familiar with was peraltiago, and I know enough about them to know they fit), so I was curious if you had any just for her as a character. You basically wrote the Lily (& Jily) gospel so I trust your takes <3

*cracks knuckles*

I'm about to give you a full detailed dive into Lily's character and personality that you absolutely did not ask for. I’d have to say the ones I had already picked for Jily variants (since I always look for couples where they both have James/Lily’s personalities). I’ll try and make it to ten but there’s only so many characters that truly fit Lily for me. Mostly the characters that I see as Lily, are sarcastic, witty, overachievers, intelligent, charismatic, and snarky…

Amy Santiago (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

I know you said you haven’t seen it, but TRUST ME. Amy is a control freak know it all, she finds comfort in order and structure. Although she’s a bit more uptight than I imagine Lily to be. Her constant need for reassurance and approval from figures of authority is something I can definitely see in Lily. Her relationship with Holt is kinda what I imagine Lily to be like with Minerva/Alastor. Also, the fact that she is deeply loyal (as most characters in this list).

Over the course of the show she loses up a bit, and learns to have more fun and I think this could be applied to Lily in her Hogwarts years. Lily being a muggleborn is a very VERY important part of her character, as well as her morals and political standing with blood purity.

We can draw certain parallels between her and Hermione (overachievers, Head Girls, prefects), you don’t get those badges by simply passing by through school. So from this we can deduce that Lily was an excellent student that focused on exceeding at school, because there’s an extra need to prove herself among not just her teachers but her peers as well. To make them see that she’s just as much magic as they are.

So, like Amy, she's constantly trying to prove that she is smart and qualified (Amy in a field mostly male, Lily in a world mostly pureblood).

Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson)

Annabeth too is a smart character that wants approval —in this case, from her mother—. She is more arrogant and snarky, a little sharper around the edges, which is so Lily!!

Her upbringing has made her become more guarded with her feelings and who she puts her trust in, also her reluctance to accept Luke’s betrayal. These are things that I see in Lily’s canon descriptions and appearances. From growing up with a sister that does not accept her and being betrayed by her best friend. In canon, after SWM (Snape’s Worst Memory), when Snape camps outside her common room waiting for her to ask her for her forgiveness she says that she has been making excuses on his behalf for a while. A lot of people call Lily a hypocrite for only ending her friendship with Snape after she was personally affected by his views, but personally I think that’s part of what makes her such an interesting character.

She’s at war with herself, not really there or here, having to be in the middle of two worlds that do not fully accept her (Annabeth with her father and Camp Half Blood/ Lily with the muggle and wizarding world). And after losing one of the people connecting her to a place of security (Thalia/Petunia), she refuses to see that the last person connecting her to that safe place is also going to leave her to join a side of the war opposite to hers (Luke/Snape).

Kate Sharma/Sheffield (Bridgerton TV/Books)

Kate is funny, closed off and witty. She rushes to judge people and decide for herself whether they are worthy of her time or not, sometimes without even bothering to actually know them. Sometimes (specifically in the books), she’s so ridiculous and funny, not really forcing herself to fit in societal norms, which is something I can definitely see in Lily.

Also, her on the show with Anthony in S3, is just how I imagine married Jily, just perfect.

Dana Scully (The X Files)

In Dana I see Lily’s fierce loyalty and sense of right and wrong. The hiding of her emotions, and also how determined she is, that even though she wants to believe she doesn’t, not even after seeing hundreds of crazy things happen in front of her, she still clings to her own truth.

Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)/Cinderella (1950)

Tiana and Cinderella remind me of Lily in the sense of a hardworking woman, also really headstrong and married to her own way of thinking. A shell hard to break, because of all the walls she’s put up in order to survive. Like Lily, Tiana doesn’t take kindly to outsiders and people who come off as standoffish (Naveen/James and Sirius), but eventually ends up getting to know them and treasuring them as life companions. And you might think me crazy for adding Cinderella, but her unwavering kindness and optimism in the face of hardship is undoubtedly Lily, she’s not all sunshine and rainbows tho —yes the 1950’s version—, she hates the situation that she’s in and wastes no time (alone with her friends) to complain about it, she bites back and only “behaves” out of survival, she’s nice and warm but also angry and headstrong.

Yoon Jin-myung (Hello, My Twenties)

Here is another hard worker female character that I can’t help but see a little bit of Lily in. Although Jin-myung is much MUCH more shy and introverted than Lily, still, she has a complicated relationship with her family and tries really hard to do a million things at the time, forgetting to care for herself and diving into routines of work/school that are almost self destructive.

Honourable mentions.

Chili (Bluey) Morticia Addams (The Addams Family Values)

Mostly how I imagine Lily as a mom/ her married life (along with Kate too). Morticia might seem like a stretch but aside from her dark interests and aesthetic, she's a loving mom and partner and she puts her family first, she’s also a bit of a freak, like Lily.

Sloane (Ferris Buller’s Day Off) Pam Beesley (The Office)

Only on the prankster side of Lily, more chill and easy going, losing up a bit to have fun with Sirius and James.

[vm-haunts]

Me: haha I'll just make up a timeline for this crazy crossover idea.

Me, a week later: what the fuck what the fuck how did I end up with so much plot how is it still expanding oh my god stooooop.

Aaaanyways. I don't know if I'll ever got it properly written, but this monster of a plot bunny now covers several major events and I'm losing my mind...

But anyways, cliff notes version on the plot and how far it stretches:

..

College trio was involved in the dionesium (aka Lazarus water) research, and somehow they're actually the more ethical bunch. Which is saying a lot considering.

DP events happened but they encountered and got help from several DC magic users during it. Budding occultist Sam for the win. (no agit yet and no phantom planet either)

The GIW got somewhat reformed, thanks to the help of Team Phantom's JLD friends. However at some point they got new management. Now instead of destroying ghost, the new comers are interested in the correlation of ecto-contamination, liminality... And secretly, in the increased success rate of induced metagene activation in liminals. Yikes, they somehow got worse.

Again, the Fenton parents are somehow the ethical ones here, despite everything. They refused to work with the new branch of GIW, stuff escalated (don't they always), and now they're dead. And in ghost jail. At least Vlad is there with them for the heartwarming reunion.

So Team Phantom ended up faking their death and goes on the run while raiding GIW bases, and along the way they found a weird guy (Jason). Weird guy's mom showed up and. Well guess they're involved with assassin cult's power struggle now, at least they get to help a guy out.

More shenanigans later they ended up with some monks in the Himalayas, and- wait Danny what do you mean you know them? Oh yeah Plasmius's little stint with the Infi-map... Gotta love time travel.

Anyway, after Danny got scammed for long overdue property damage fees and Jason got a pair of cool swords, they met Talia again and she brings news! Totally no ulterior motives or anything :) (Sam called her out to her face and she just smiled)

Jason, considerably more chill in this au, is still unhappy about... Well. Everything in Gotham.

Cue the Red Hood stint but with much more control and less blood shed. Which ironically made RH more intimidating because he moves like a ghost(duh). Especially when Jason's main act of revenge is 'pranks', which reads as mild psychology warfare actually. But hey the bats did that to themselves, he did nothing wrong (besides being a drug lord).

Red Hood peaceful mode does however attracted some unwanted bird themed attention, the Owl's not the Robin's. And well, undead Talons sneaking around undead experts, what could go wrong?

Everything apparently. Because on top of the Rh stint, Jason is somehow also infiltrating the Court of Owls now. As his real identity Jason Todd-Wayne no less. But the real suprise is Danny running into his parent's old researches, and. Well, the poor talons need help, might as well join in with the infiltration.

Some more shenanigans later it ends in Jason and co. quietly turning the talons against their old masters, and oh boy did they overachieved the goal of getting a foot into Gotham's crime world. Must be Danny's Fenton luck.

Ol' Batsy is very very not happy about that development by the way. But he can die mad about it as far as Jason is concerned.

...

The end. Of part one.

Stay tuned for part two, where we cross AGIT with crisis.

And massive thanks to @taddy-cat, a large part of this is inspired by the lovely discussion with you!

[natti-ice]

Never Been Kissed- Tom Riddle.

Pairing: Tom Riddle x fem!reader

You go out at night to meet a friend, and end up forming a new relationship.

Warnings: OOC Tom riddle, set in the Marauders era!

Author’s note: this is a reuploaded and modified fic I wrote a while ago!

Reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated<3

Sneaking out of your dorm room, you make your way up to the astronomy to meet Sirius Black. This was a normal occurrence, you two would meet every Friday to talk about what happened that week or what's been bothering them and just goof off. You and Sirius have been friends since first year and last year you two started this tradition of meeting weekly. Since you're both in your last year at Hogwarts, it's hard to make time to see each other during normal hours.

Crossing the castle careful not to run into Filch or worse Mrs. Norris... the biggest snitch in town. Thankfully you have never been caught, can't say the same for Sirius, that boy makes so much noise wherever he goes. After climbing the crazy amount of stairs to the top of the tower finally you see the clear night sky. It was truly a beautiful sight, the early November night was chilly but not bad enough for a jacket.

You're always the first one there, arriving at around 11:40 pm, but Sirius shows up fashionably late at midnight, making you wait.

Tonight he seemed to be taking his sweet time because your watch is reading 12:18 am. Maybe he's having a hard time picking out an outfit or got attacked by a wild banshee, maybe he just forgot? You thought to yourself. Knowing him, he probably had some superficial reason as to why he didn't come to see his favorite person at Hogwarts. You waited until 12:40 a whole hour late and finally decided Sirius Black had flaked on you.

It didn't hurt your feelings much since it was the first time it ever happened, but you're a little irritated that you wasted an hour doing nothing. You're a night owl so you aren't very tired, you decide to explore the school for a while. Standing up from the wood-paneled floor, you let your legs take you wherever.

You walk down many corridors, peaking into abandoned classrooms here and there while also keeping an eye out for Filtch. Eventually, you find yourself outside of the castle and decide to go by the lake, you always wondered what it looked like at night. Walking around the lake at night is kinda creepy when you think about it but you also find it oddly calming. You don't stray too far away from the castle just in case you need to make a run for it, you find a tall oak tree and sit under it.

Lost in thought thinking about everything and nothing, you failed to hear the footsteps approaching you rather quickly.

"Good evening." A voice pulls you out of your thoughts, You look up and see it's the one and only Tom Riddle. He was hovering above you, his signature smirk on his face.

"Uh... hi Tom" You reply a little startled

"Why are you out here so late?" He asks calmly

"Oh um, no reason, I normally-" you say when something comes to mind "Hang on, aren't you a prefect?"

"I am." He says with a hint of arrogance and pride in his voice

"You're not gonna write me up are you?" You ask calmly but on the inside you're praying he'll cut you some slack.

"No, no I'm off duty right now." With a slight smirk on his face, he replied "I'm breaking curfew as well" he whispers almost playfully

You chuckle softly, feeling immediately relieved "Alright then... would you like to sit?"

He doesn't reply with words but with actions, he sits down next to you. Not too close but not too far, a respectable distance.

You and Tom weren't close by any means, you had only met this year in potions class. Tom being known as the introverted Slytherin who had a way with the teachers. You who laughed with your friends and wasn't an overachiever but still had good grades nonetheless. Slughorn decided to pair people who he thought would sort of yin Yang each other so that's why you two sat together.

Not speaking, you sat in awkward silence. The wind tussling the trees filling the air, the night got colder since you left your dorm, now you wished you had brought a jacket. You rub your hands up and down your arms trying to warm up

"Are you cold?" Tom asks noticing your slight shivering

"Kinda... yeah" you replied

"Here take my sweater" he said pulling off his grey cable knit sweater

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Just take it... please." He said the last part softer

He had a hard time controlling his temper at times, he was working on not letting little things get to him.

"Thank you." You softly smiled at him, a small silence falls over you two as you put on his sweater. Wanting the conversation to continue you ask, "Did you see professor Dumbledore's outfit today?"

The both of you engrossed yourselves in conversation for 15 minutes straight jumping from topic to topic. Once you started talking it felt like you had been talking to each other for years.

"And then I bit her." You admitted embarrassedly after telling him a story of an altercation you had with a girl a few years ago.

"You bit her?!?" Tom asks with a shocked expression

"I did, I didn't mean to it was just instinct I guess."

"Wow remind me never to do that to you" Tom laughs

"It was so embarrassing it keeps me up at night" you sigh as you remember the embarrassment. "Okay, I have to know something embarrassing about you now." You say trying to divert the attention off of you

"What? Why?" He says with a puzzled look

"I mean, it's only fair"

He sighs "Ok ok fine, umm... I haven't had my first kiss." He swallowed

"I'm being serious Tom." You chuckle not believing him for one second

"So am I." Tom said with a straight face

"Oh." Your laughter immediately stops

"Is that so surprising?" He asks, almost sounding irritated by your response

"Actually yes, yes it is" You stated

"How?" He was genuinely curious about what she thought of him

"I mean, I figured you would've had a girlfriend or something. Like you're attractive and not terribly hard to get along with." You laugh softly while explaining

He suppressed his smile before he spoke next to not let you know how much your words affect him.

"No, no girlfriend. It's not that I'm waiting or anything, the moment just hasn't come I guess. Sometimes I just want to get it over with"

A pause

"I'll do it." You speak, not knowing what came over you

"Excuse me?" He questioned

"I'll kiss you" you offer

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, friends help each other out, right? It's up to you" you say not wanting to push him into anything.

He wondered if he should or not, he always thought you beautiful. He never had the courage to talk to you until he was paired with you in potions. What if I suck at it? What if she doesn't like it and tells all her friends? He thought. No, stop you'll be fine just go for it.

"Okay" he replied

He said yes, he actually said yes. You didn't think he would actually say yes but he did. You were very thankful he did because that would've been embarrassing if he said no.

You scoot closer to him slightly to close the gap between you. You search his eyes trying to find any ounce of doubt, you felt butterflies as what was about to happen hits you completely.

"Ready?" You whisper

"Yeah" he whispers back flicking his eyes down at your lips then back to your gaze. Slowly moving his head forward.

Copying his motion you lean in. As your lips connect your eyes flutters closed, Tom brings his right hand up to gently cradle your face. Rhythmically you two move your mouths as one, in a sweet gentle kiss.

After a few seconds he pulls away, both of your faces feel red hot. Not sure what to do next Tom clears his throat and looks down at his watch.

"It's late... we should probably go back to the castle" he says

"Yeah you're right" you agree feeling embarrassed

Tom rises first, he offers you a hand. You hesitate a moment before accepting it, allowing him to pull you up. Tom hand lingers on yours for a second too long before releasing.

Walking side by side into the castle headed toward your dorm. Tom insisted on dropping you off. You both walked together in a thick silence.

Making it to your common room entrance, it's time to say goodnight.

"I had fun tonight" you spoke first

"Yeah I did too" he smiles very softly

"I uh, I guess this is Goodnight" you smile "Goodnight Tom"

"Goodnight Y/N"Tom turns around walking a few steps before you notice you still have on his sweater.

"Wait, Tom, your sweater." You call out to him

He turns to face her with that same small smile

"Keep it, it looks better on you."Tom walks away.

You smile to yourself and think to yourself I think I like Tom Riddle.

[territorial-tarot-tahr]

C.o.D smut

Word count: 6.3k

CW: Blood and general menstruation if that's gross to you, don't read it. There's self loathing but as a backdrop. Also explicit sexual content below the cut.

Summary: AFAB/Transmasc reader is in pain and Soap tries to help.

P.o.V: Second Person

Again, if you found my A03 from this, no you didn't. Shut up. This one's shorter and a bit older(4months?)than the prior piece. I'm also gonna be so real and say this was written as a mostly self indulgent piece so that's why it's stupidly corny.

No spoilers for any C.o.D game.

🚨Go to my main account "rorschach-retrograding-rotary" for requests or commissions. Or you can just toss something in the comments or something🚨

‼️🚨This was not proof read and I hate reading my work so I have no intention of proof reading it🚨‼️

Feel free to commission me or donate 𝕙𝕥𝕥𝕡𝕤://𝕜𝕠-𝕗𝕚.𝕔𝕠𝕞/𝕤𝕒𝕪_𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕖𝕤𝕖

Sweat seemed to find permanent residency on your skin, the ring around your neck was already evidence enough of that. Every second that you felt the uncomfortable ache, it seemed to cut open the scars along your chest again. People who needed to know, knew. People who didn't, didn't. Price and the medical team knew, but that was the extent. You figured the information was on a more need-to-know basis, and as such, only the aforementioned individuals and an otherwise small list knew. 

This list didn't include your 189cm, Scottish lover-boy. Whether out of fear of rejection, or attempt of denial by ignoring, you still hadn't gotten around to it. He'd yet to do anything that would make you think he wouldn't be alright with it, but it was still a risky step you weren't eager to take. You'd found yourself awoken in a disgruntled haze, hair coated in drool and some in your mouth as you blinked awake. A familiar coil of discomfort had knotted itself in your gut. With no heating pad, you'd simply dragged yourself off your cot and to the kitchen after a quick stop in the latrine, which had turned up a few painkillers that seemed to be taking their sweet time. You'd had painful cramps before, sure. But usually you had taken proper care to count and keep track of when to expect them, and as such, you were loaded up on preemptive painkillers.

You hadn't found yourself as prepared or lucky this time. This month you'd simply lost track considering that you'd been on a mission for around two weeks at the point and the focus had been more on whether you'd be alive in any given moment rather than when you'd start bleeding. Well, you reap what you sow. And now here you were, fighting your urge to double over and lay curled up on the floor till you passed out. At least the floor would probably be colder than the heat that felt as if it was stuck to your skin like a damp shirt. That was fair, your shirt was pretty soaked in sweat at the moment.

 Coffee cup after coffee cup seemed the easier answer than laying back down at the mercy of your already wide-awake mind. You couldn't wager a guess on how long you'd stood there waiting, time seemed to slip away from you. The small clock on the wall made a dull chorus of clicks as the second hand flicked by, and the 24 hour digital clock nearby clicked in chorus at every minute. Despite this, your attention did not drift to them, or the whirr of the overachieving air conditioner above, which did nothing to lessen your sweat. Instead, your attention seemed more than eager to slip away to your white-knuckled grip on the rim of the sink, a dish towel at each palm with cold water providing some relief. His hands were on your hips before you'd even realized he was actually behind you.

His breath was warm in your unwashed hair, and his calloused fingers had already begun to dig into the fabric of your shirt. Your forehead was against the cool wood of the cabinet, and it took everything in your power to try not to focus on what you assumed might've been very early morning wood. Or genuinely just something in his pocket.  

"Couldn't sleep?" His remark was sarcastic, the answer already evident as your trembling fingers worked grime off the rim of a mug. You shuddered in response, his breath warm on your neck as gooseflesh covered your body. A t-shirt and plaid pajama pants were evidently not enough to keep the cold away or hold it at bay and since it was easier to find a practically permanent spot in the barracks than getting an apartment, you found yourself cutting your loses.

"Army of coffee cups around here not tipping you off?" Your comment seemed snark-ier than you had intended, but your hand on his and a gentle squeeze seemed to be enough of an apology. Dark bags were under your eyes, fatigue and exhaustion was evident on your face as you turned to look at him over your shoulder. His shirt was faded, stains from coffee and cigarette butts formed their own patterns across the barely recognizable band logo it had once shown. Either he'd slept in his shoes and jeans or he'd decided to put them on after noticing you'd gotten up in the night.

"Collective break room. Cups were just as likely to be yours as they were to be Simons." He yawned as he leaned further against you. His footing wasn't lost but it seemed slightly comical in the moment how lazy he was trying to be. Too tired to stand up straight but enough energy to not only realize you'd woken up, but also notice you were acting odd and try to get to the bottom of it. His voice was rough, evidently still half asleep as he continued. "All I'm askin' is, what's eatin' yuh?"

You huffed softly and shuffled where you stood. You mumbled incoherently as John patted your hip, his fingers rubbed the fabric for a moment longer. He traced the indent of your hip bone against your pants before leaning down to hold his face against your neck. He spoke quietly, his voice muffled as he made a comment about you needing to eat more. You neglected to answer, scoffing and rolling your eyes as you instead pushed his hands from your hips to hold your waist instead. You heard his soft grunt of amusement before it faded to a yawn again.

He kissed along your neck for a moment as he took the mug and carelessly tossed it into the sink. A few moments more and he'd planted his feet before hoisting you up onto the counter. You'd never been particularly short, but sitting on the counter was what it took for you to be eye level with John. You could see his eyes were matched by yours with similar rings of dark circles. His lacked the bloodshot lines that creeped at the corners of yours but regardless, it was still evident that he was tired.

His lips found your neck and he bit your skin gently, leaving a small red mark that bloomed on your skin as he patted your thighs with his warm palms. His eyes searched yours for any cues he was missing, something he was supposed to be getting but wasn't, though you knew if you did decide to try and make him guess that it would be hours before he'd even be on the correct ballpark of correct answers. Easier just to throw him a bone. Something vague that would get him to back off for a bit. The back of your head touched a cabinet as you leaned back. You swiped your hand across your mouth to remove any excess coffee before shrugging.

"Just not- I'm not feeling all that great." Your brows were knit in a small scowl as you wrung your hands together. Your palms were sweaty, a sigh on your lips as his hands squeezed your waist again. His hands were warm. You could feel it through your shirt as he gently kneaded some of the skin. He didn't even seem to realize he was doing it, working more off of what felt good rather than thinking through his moves.

He attempted a light-hearted scoff as he scrutinized your excuse. Though you were unamused regardless and shoved at his shoulder, a sneer tugging at your lips. Though he quickly kissed you on the mouth, the sneer leaving your face as his lips met yours. You wagered he used more force than he meant to, as your neck was being forced to an odd angle with the back of your head against the cabinet.

"'ve seen yuh get shot, stabbed, punched, pinned. Seen all that shite. And I know yuh don't go all mopey or secretive about it. Talk to me, gaol. What's actually got yuh wide awake?" Damn, he was earnest as hell. You avoided his practically pleasing gaze as he implored you to share whatever your burden was, whatever ailed you in the moment. Whatever it was, he wanted to share it or at least try and get you to open up. You swallowed hard and you couldn't be sure if you would actually articulate anything if you opened your mouth. You weren't sure whether you wanted to or not either.

One of his hands left your hips and ran through your hair and you leaned into the touch as you begrudgingly met his gaze. Cold sweat sat in your tresses and you wondered how he could stand to touch your slicked locks.

"I'm not pulling your leg, Johnny. I'm not feeling all too hot right now. That's all." Your insistence came out as almost wishy-washy. A whiny complaint as you sat on the counter and stared at him through weary eyes. Your statement earned you unforseen side effects in the form of a cheeky grin as he kissed your cheek and spoke in a teasing tone.

"Yer definitely lookin' hot if it's any consolation."

Oh. Oh. It had little to no intention of telling him that regardless of how "hot" you looked right now, you felt like a ketchup bottle of blood and no amount of flattery would really help that.

You only seemed to register his further attempts at testing the waters when one of his hands found the hem of your shirt. He maintained eye contact as he began to tug your shirt up slightly, exposing the lower muscles of your abdomen. He seemed to be waiting more for your consent and permission, trying to see how up for action you were at the moment. He was met with you grabbing his wrist as you practically snapped:

"Wait." From you as you stared him down, wide-eyed with an air of panic streaked on you.

It wasn't as though you'd never gotten intimate before, but being intimate with him specifically would be new. You'd had a few partners in highschool but none who were important enough to mention. They'd also only known you from before your first surgery. When you'd been grabbing onto anything in an attempt to try and force yourself into the idea that if you could play the part of a highschool girl, then maybe you'd find some kind of satisfaction in that life. You didn't enjoy that part of your past, and as such you hadn't disclosed it to your peers.

You'd been too cautious to let John know about your surgery yet, too worried that he'd treat or think of you differently. As such, you'd usually turn the topic to him. With intimate times usually culminating in you practicing your blow or hand job skills or simply just denying intimacy altogether on some occasions. You always remained fully dressed, with your most casual being a tank top and shorts. You let him touch freely over your top, and he usually ended up holding the back of your head but that was the extent. You tried to focus intimacy back to him, focusing on making him feel good.

He'd always done his best to be understanding while still expressing concern for you. Nights of one-sided intimacy ended with him asking in earnest if there was something he could do for you. Stating he "didn't want to leave you with blue balls". You'd always shrugged it off and insisted you were alright, to which he'd find some way to repay you sooner or later. He'd grab a copy of a book he knew you wanted, try and cook you something in the barrack's kitchen or simply get you flowers when he saw them.

He'd done nothing that would make you think he wouldn't be accepting, and yet you still found your stomach in knots and your heart pounding away in your chest as his fingers cautiously rested on your shirt. His eyes searched yours and despite your unsure inner turmoil, you still found that you couldn't find it in yourself to ask him to stop. You wanted him to know. You wanted to stop feeling guilty. To stop feeling like it was some kind of shameful secret that you had to hide from him.

Your throat seemed suddenly and uncomfortably dry. A few swallows did nothing to quell the dry spot that seemed less than eager to leave. John removed his hand from your shirt, letting one stay on your hip and bringing the other up open palmed by his head as if in surrender.

"Not looking to tic you off, 'pologies." It was clear that there was guilt in his tone as he gently squeezed your hip again. His face gained a slight blush of embarrassment at having driven that strong of a reaction from you. Christ, had he pissed you off? Had he made things worse? Here you were simply trying to deal with whatever was makin' you get up in the middle of the night and he came along and pissed you off. Great going genius. Dumbass.

His internal monologue was practically written across his face as his gaze went from the coffee mugs, to the cabinets, the ceiling and really anything that wasn't your face. In return, you found your own embarrassment creeping on your face. He'd been trying to do something for you, to be nice and you'd snapped. You'd snapped at him for something that you had planned on doing yourself. Damnit. Alright, off with the band-aid.

"I didn't mean to yell, you just- you just startled me. That's all." It was time for your own gaze to be best friends with the floor as you continued speaking. "I'd just like to ask a selfish promise of you first. Is that okay?"

"Oddly serious."

"John."

"Sorry. Alright, ask away."

How do you phrase this? You'd never really had to think of it before, you'd naively assumed that you could cruise through the relationship without the topic ever coming up.

"Just promise that you won't get mad at me."

He paused for a moment, his eyebrow cocked up in an arch as he gnawed the inside of his cheek.

"Sounds like it's gonna depend on what yer about to spring on me."

You seemed ready to insist and he quickly amended his statement, a kiss on your forehead before he spoke.

"Yes, sorry. I promise I won't be mad at you."

You paused before nodding in acknowledgement and guiding his free hand back to your shirt hem. His fingers ran along the cloth for a few moments more before eventually tugging the cloth up again. His other hand joined the first in the ordeal of lifting up your shirt and before long, he was holding the balled up shirt in one hand haphazardly. Your thin scars sat pale and discolored against the rest of your skin and you saw his eyes trace over your body a few times before meeting your gaze again. There, you'd done it. Your cheeks burned what you could only assume was a vibrant scarlet as you waited for some statement of acknowledgement or a scoff. Maybe a huff before he broke down your self esteem.

Though you were eventually met with a sympathetic look as his set your shirt to the side and resumed holding your hips.

"That all?"

Was that all?

You'd shown the man what had been your secret. What kept you awake on some nights just wondering in a cold sweat about how he'd react, if he'd insult you, demean you. Break up with you on the spot, spread the word among your peers. Leave you getting stared at when you walked into a room. But what you'd earned instead was a "That all?"

"The fuck do you mean, 'that all?'" You weren't livid, you weren't annoyed, honestly you couldn't place what you were. Had you wanted some big reaction out of him? Had you wanted a big emotional confrontation? Well, no, but what you'd wanted at least something. Not a reaction that made it seem like you were being dismissed.

You opened your mouth to speak again and instead found him cutting you off with an abrupt kiss that bumped your head against the cabinet again from the force he'd used. He held the kiss for longer than you found normal and just as you were about to try and tap on his shoulder as a reminder that you needed to break for air, he pulled away and laughed quietly to himself as his hands rested on his own hips.

"Laddie, you had me worried yuh were about to reveal some kind of second head or fused twin in some Total Recall type of shite. Maybe a really corny tattoo that I would laugh at 'und not be able to take yuh seriously because of. But this? I don't get how yuh think I'd be mad about it. 'Could spend hours jus' starin' at you if yuh'd let me. What I'm getting at here, is that yer quite possibly the most gorgeous guy I've had the fortune of layin' eyes on. Scars or not." Near the end of his accented monologue, he gently began cupping the your face before kissing your forehead again.

Your mind seemed to have paused, processing everything slowly. Maybe you were just hormonal. Maybe you just had pent up aggression from something else, but you found self loathing begin to rush over you in droves as you thought about the aforementioned nights laying in puddles of your cold sweat as you worried and terrified yourself with an endless sleep of scenarios and what-ifs that scared you into not telling him for so long. And yet here he was. He seemed to be barely thrown-off his paces.

You found tears lining your vision, frustration at yourself as well as some swell of relief had planted seed in your heart as you leaned forward to cry into his shoulder. He looked fairly surprised or at least unexpecting of that reaction, though he quickly found his role again. One hand moved to be buried in your hair and gently massaging your scalp as the other found your back and gently patted it between your gasping inhales.

One of the few things that kept you from wailing into the material of his shirt, was the knowledge that you weren't trying to awake or draw the attention of any late night walkers nearby. Instead, you did your best for emotional release via choked sobs and your quivering breaths. You grabbed a handful of his shirt with one hand and your other wrapped under his arm to hold tightly to his back as you gave another shaky inhale and left the impression of your tears and spit in darkened patches across his shirt.

"Gotta throw this into the dryer before I call it in for the night, yeah?" He chuckled quietly into your hair as he gave you a squeeze. He was warm against you, and you found your lungs gradually being able to work actual proper breaths into your chest. Your crying hadn't lasted all that long, but your process of calming down and simply laying against him lasted far longer. He planted another kiss on your head before gently holding your jaw in his warm hands. He swiped his thumbs across your face to wipe away your stray tears.

He held your gaze for a few moments longer before speaking. His voice was quiet, his eyes searching yours as he attempted to check if you were alright or not yet in an unspoken question. You gave one final quivering exhale as you collected your thoughts and what dignity you had left.

A few moments more and you had calmed down fully and you'd hopped off the counter. He held your hand in a firm but gentle grip and it seemed like he had something more to say, but you cut off him. Figuring that you owed him an explanation for his initial question.

"I'm cramping. That's why I'm down here. Couldn't sleep."

It seemed clear that he wasn't sure what you were speaking of initially. His mind most likely moving through any of the training or sparring sessions where he might've hit you harder than necessary or when you could've possibly sprained it. Though a few moments more and a few embarrassed hand gestures from you, he seemed to get the gist. Your cheeks gained the splash of bright red again as you saw him begin trying to think through how to help.

"Pain killers?"

"A couple in my system right now. Not helping."

"..heatin' pad?"

"Couldn't find one."

He paused in his suggestions and it was clear he had something working in his mind as he stared at you for a moment longer before giving his next idea.

"You uh- you try an orgasm yet?"

You quickly threw a swing and slugged him in the shoulder as you scrunched your eyes to a glare. You called him a pervert and you saw him smile subtly as he feigned pain from your punching. He rubbed his arm and gave a quick hiss through his teeth as he continued pretending your attack had hurt him, complaining half-heartedly that you would leave a bruise. Regardless, he let you continue to punch him a few more times, though the smile and crinkle of the corners of his eyes made it clear he was anything but upset.

"Lay off, lay off." He chuckled for a moment as he took your hands in his before moving them to your side, though you quickly crossed your arms as you shot him a half-hearted glare.

"Look, all I'm sayin', luv is that I was with a girl a good number of years back. Anytime it was shark week she'd ask for some time together and I, being the astute gentleman that I am, would say yes. She was claimin' it made her feel better for a littl' while. I ain't sayin' there's some great biological flare to it, but at the very least, it took her mind off it for a while if there ain't any other explanation." He cast you a subtle smile before planting another kiss on the side of your neck, taking care to bite the skin and leave a red blemish.

Your brows furrowed as you scrunched up your face in a mild show of scrutinization. You were sure his story had some merit to it in terms of the source material but in terms of whether or not it actually meant anything? Whatever it was, he believed what he was saying even if you were suspicious of it. You found the warmth of his hands had been traveling up slowly but surely, with his hands now on your side instead of your hips. As he held your eye contact, the question was practically written on his face. His eyebrows were raised as he waited for your answer. One of his hands still squeezed your side but the other dropped slowly to rest on the curve of your groin through your pants. Damn it. What did you really have to lose?

--

"You know this is insanely unsanitary, yeah?"

Your protest was practically token at this point. You had little intention of actually backing down now but you still wanted to put all the cards on the table. Some kind of disclosure. Or at the very least one final chance for him to back out if he had his own doubts he'd been too polite to speak.

"Well aware." His tone was matter-of-factly in that his will or decision wouldn't be the one wavering. Though it was clear you were more than welcome to still change your mind if you wanted to. He'd slung your t-shirt along with his underneath you in leu of a towel or blanket considering he didn't want to risk waking anyone up on his way to the barracks. The hour was still late enough that no one else was awake. No one else should've been awake. The clock gave another scornful series of clicks and you watched his jaw already at work even as he stood with his hands on his hips staring at your closed knees.

"Are you chewing gum?"

"......maybe. That an issue?"

"Johnny, I don't want you somehow spitting gum in my- look when did you even get it?"

You watched as he quickly swallowed the piece without hesitation and shrugged as he glanced back to you. He began to speak with a tone that made it clear his comment was satirical. Or at the very least an attempt at self depreciation to try and make you more comfortable since you seemed less than whole-y in your element. He wasn't entirely stupid. He was sure if he was laying splayed out like a Christmas turkey on table, he wouldn't exactly be full of confidence. He spoke with his hands. That was something you'd begun to notice during your months of being together. And it seemed reflected now with how he spoke with vague gestures and a grin that now tugged at his lips, revealing the tops of his teeth and some hints of gums.

"Feel like there's a lot of unwarranted judgement coming my way about my breath care and gum habits. Specifically coming from someone who's asking me to eat them out or fuck their pussy till they see stars."

You cringed slightly from your spot on the table, you propped yourself up on your elbows as you stared at him from between your knees. You were sure he hadn't meant anything by it, and in all honesty you couldn't pin down why you disliked it either. But his use of "pussy" just made your stomach churn more than the cramps were already.

"Y'mind not calling it that?"

"Callin' it what? A pussy?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. I mean I can be gross and jus' call it a hole if yuh'd like. That sound insanely sexy? 'Laddie, please let me fuck your hole.'" He trailed off into a quiet laugh as he wiped his lips. It seemed clear that he was working through compromises in his mind. As much as he was joking, it seemed clear he was still trying to find a solution that pleased you. He ran his pointer finger and thumb over his top lip, rubbing what stubble had managed to grow out before he settled on one.

"Does 'cunt' work?"

You raised an eyebrow in response, seemingly more of a "convince me" rather than an absolute "no". You adjusted the shirts underneath your hips, your flannel pants were catching on the fabric and you found a short internal monologue crossing your mind as you began wondering why you hadn't already taken them off. You felt foolish. They were going to come off anyways, so why'd that have to be part of whatever attempt at being "sexy" he'd pull? Whatever. Your internal monologue was cut off by his voice soon after.

"Simple yes or no. If I were to say-" His voice started off at what you assumed was his attempt at "husky" but considering his accent, was more so borderline incomprehensible in the beginning. "There is nothing more that I'd like to do right now than grab your knees, snap your legs open and eat out your cunt like it was the last fuckin' meal on this whole damn planet-" He trailed off, his fingers had begun tracing along your hips again before eventually fondling the tassels of your pants as he undid them. When he was done, his fingers were hooked along the seam of your waist and and he was leaning his head against your partially parted legs, his cheek on your knee.

"What would yuh do then? Would that be doin' anythin' for yuh?" You feigned deep thought, rubbing your chin for a moment as you egged him on. You brought your other knee to the other side of his head and gently squeezed.

"I'd probably say I'd need a bit more convincing."

He brought a hand up to haphazardly grab at the thigh of the leg that he wasn't leaning against. He opened your legs slightly further and he enunciated his syllables further now with dropping his head and inch of two. "Alright well what 'bout this," He hummed in thought for a moment or two as he mulled over what to say.

"I could say somethin' along the lines of 'seein' you splayed out like this with a cunt that's practically begging for me to fuck, 'und a mouth that's beggin' me to kiss it. You've got eyes that make me want to get lost in 'em. You've got a voice like music." He seemed to laugh for a second before adding onto the monologue, almost in a purposely attempt to ruin whatever blissful or heartfelt tone. "You've got a cunt that I'd be more than happy to already be inside of by now."

This was met with a surprisingly sheepish grin from you as you used a hand to shove his face off your leg as you tuned away and attempted to keep some kind of cool or reserved exterior.

"Yeah sure. I guess that'd do something for me." With that confirmation of yours, he cast you a toothy grin again before making quick work of your pajamas pants. He had first bitten the hem and tugged them down a few inches, but after a look of confusion that you shot him, he quickly abandoned that idea and instead just used his hands like a normal person. He'd balled them up and tossed your pants aside without much thought. His lips soon found your abdomen and he began planting kisses all along your visible skin.

When he got to your chest, he cast you a glance. It seemed more like confirmation of permission as he held your gaze. You gaze a curt nod of acknowledgement, almost more akin to embarrassment before he exhaled warm breath onto your skin. You were met with a string of chaste kisses along one of your scars as he gently squeezed your sides. One of his knees was hiked up onto edge of the table as he leaned further forward, the kisses continuing to follow. The kisses turned to hickies as he began leaving red marks that bloomed across your skin, and you watched as he stared in some amount of odd satisfaction as the marks began to cover larger amounts of different patches of your skin.

He left another blooming red mark on the bottom of your jaw before capturing your lips in a kiss. One of his hands became tangled in your hair, grabbing almost a whole fistful as he held onto you with some depraved amount of desperation that you couldn't even be sure the origin of. After a while, he seemed to remember that it was a good idea to let you breath, and he broke the kiss. Staring down at you through hazy eyes as he huffed quietly. His huffing left every exhale as a puff of his breath straight to your face, and you counted yourself lucky that he'd had the forethought to chew the gum before hand.

He shot you a quick grin before quickly slipping off you and moving to stand at the edge of the table again. He wiped his hands on his pants though he hadn't dirtied them. He then let his fingers trail at the edges of the waistband of the boxers you had on. You grimaced slightly as he pulled at your boxers again before leaving you bare on the table. Your face burned a vibrant scarlet and you stared at one of the walls to your side, though you felt him tap your calf for your attention.

"Jus' give me the word and we'll stop. Yeah?"

You nodded shakily but kept your gaze on the wall only to hear him call for a verbal response.

"Not doin' anythin' till I hear it."

You nodded again as you responded, speaking almost under your breath in a seemingly annoyed fashion. "Understood."

"Lovely."

With that you felt him press his middle and pointer finger to the folds of your cunt. His thumb rested lazily on your clit as he dragged his fingers around for a few moments. His fingers slipped into your cunt with little resistance and he found that the blood worked surprisingly well considering he wasn't sure how aroused you were and how much of the slick was yours. You were warm. Felt slicker than he wagered you'd be after an orgasm as well. He then moved his fingers to the base of your cunt before giving one quick swipe upwards, dragging a smear of your blood up with him. You yelped, shot him a confused stare as he laid a hand open-palmed on your abdomen.

"That alright, luv?" He met your gaze for a moment as he rubbed his finger tips to his thumb, feeling your blood in a way that weirded you out. Though what drew a cry of disgust from your lips was when he swiped his fingers across his tongue, tasting your blood. You gagged for a moment and physically cringed as you began yelling about how gross he was. He shushed you quickly for a moment and was cut off by his own barky laugh.

"Again. I'm hearin' a lot of complaints from someone who's needin' somethin' from me. And if you keep yellin' like that, you're probably gonna catch some poor passerby-er's attention."

You begrudgingly gritted your teeth as you turned your gaze away from him and mumbled a half-hearted sigh of acquiescence. "Whatever."

You nodded though and returned to staring up at the ceiling above, an occasional glance at either of the two clocks as they clicked quietly. Your mind wandered for a moment as you attempted to try and keep your mind off of how exposed you felt. The cool air on your cunt only seemed to add to the sensation and you squirmed for a moment more before settling still again. What seemed to summon your attention again was his movement as he crouched down, his hands gripping the outside of your thighs. His face was between your legs and you met his gaze for a moment before you saw him lick a stripe along your folds.

You grunted, moving a hand to lay across your eyes as he dragged his tongue from bottom to top of your sex. You gritted your teeth again and found that your mind traveled to the fact of how unsanitary it all was. You thought of the mess of blood that must've been in his stubble at the moment and you found yourself suppressing a small gag. Despite this, you stayed quiet considering how good it felt. His tongue slipped into your cunt and you squeezed instinctively to which he grunted. A puff of his warm breath hit your cunt, and you heard him mumble softly. As such, you felt the vibrations hit your heart in a way that sparked a rumble in your throat.

Your cunt already ached from your cramps and you found that his tongue was driving you closer to an orgasm than you wagered you would've been otherwise or in regular circumstances. Every lick across your cunt left you fighting your urge to buck against his mouth for more friction, but you quickly found the he seemed to get the message. His hands tightened on your hips and tugged you forward for closer contact as he continued licking, his hawked nose occasionally dragging further in your folds. He wouldn't pretend that it tasted amazing, but the tang of copper on his tongue wasn't something he found particularly offsetting.

You whined softly and he squeezed the malleable flesh of your hips in what you assumed was his attempt at a reassuring fashion. His mouth moved upwards along your cunt, his tongue eventually lapping at your clit. You could more directly see the blood on his lips and stubble now as well as the flecks across his nose. His hands moved from your thighs to the tops of your knees as he began to spread your legs further. You whined softly in return, feeling your muscles ache in return as your breathing hitched.

Your heart hammered in your chest and his eyes seemed hazy as he continued lapping at your cunt like a dehydrated dog at a water bowl. He continued lapping with more intention as he dipped his tongue further between your folds. He could feel his cock grow stiff against his leg and he did his best to ignore it. You were important. This was for you. He resigned himself to fucking his hand after you fell asleep.

You whined softly and moaned from behind your hand as he tugged you closer. The work of his mouth on your clit left you giving a shrill mewl as you came. You heard him grunt in surprise and felt him release your clit which he'd begun sucking on. You saw him blink a few times before licking the discharge from your folds as it made it's way down and mixed with the remaining blood in your folds.

After he finished cleaning the remains of your orgasm, he stood back and looked you over as if to gauge your reaction or wait for any criticism. He criss-crossed his arms and laid his forearms across the tops of your knees and stared down at you before speaking softly. "Y'alright?"

You nodded blearily, half focused on him and half focused on trying to keep some kind of dignified expression again as you spoke. "M' good."

You heard and saw him chuckle before cleaning his face with his hand before wiping it on his pant's leg. He leaned over you for a moment, keeping balance on his forearm before pressing a kiss to your forehead and then pressing one to your lips. A few moments more and you rubbed your mouth absentmindedly for a moment as you looked him over. Your cunt had stopped painfully throbbing and your stomach had stopped coiling in knots for a a moment. Maybe his ex had actually been right about something.

[princeescaluswords]

Against the World

It never fails to amaze me how many members of the fandom miss how carefully crafted Allison and Scott's relationship in the first two season of Teen Wolf actually was.

We start with Scott, an asthmatic loser who wants to play first line on his high school lacrosse team. He feels like his whole life is spent sitting on the sidelines. He has one very good friend, who never-the-less thinks Scott's dreams are pathetic and unrealistic. He has a mother who has to work double-shifts so they don't lose the house, and a father who is noticeable by his complete absence. Even though Scott is conscientious, kind, and determined, he can't escape the feeling that he's no one. In the middle of everything, he's nothing.

Then we go to Allison, who while an overachiever doesn't have any close friends (except her aunt) because her family is always moving. Nothing she tries satisfies her: not poetry, not photography, not art. She's good at archery, but she didn't keep up with it, and she's good at gymnastics, but she didn't keep up with that either. Her mother and father are both overprotective ("three calls on my first day") and demanding. She's worried that people will think less of her, but the thing she worries about most is being useless and powerless. "I hate feeling like that."

When they meet each other, neither of them see the insecurities that bedevil the other. Allison sees a kind boy who offers her a pen without conditions, who excels on the lacrosse pitch yet helps her without judgment when she accidentally hits a dog with her car. Scott sees a gorgeous girl who makes friends easily but seems interested in him of all people.

Of course they'd be attracted to each other! Since without conflict there would be no story, events intervene. Scott gets bitten by an evil werewolf who wants to use him to murder Allison's family, and Allison discovers that her family has a secret that covers up even darker secrets.

If their attraction had been shallow, it would make sense that they would not last. But it is not as simple as wanting each other; they need each other. Allison and Scott tend to look at each other only in terms of their individual selves, regardless of the greater context of their lives. When they do have problems it is when one of them lets those other things get in the way. And they do have significant problems.

In the first two season, these problems take the form of exterior forces that demand that Scott and Allison fulfill a role regardless of their own personal wants and needs. For Allison, it's her family, who may love her but can only see her in relation to their family's Code and history. "Think of how strong this makes you!" Victoria crows before threatening to kill Scott if Allison shows weakness. Chris can only manage to show his concern by violating her privacy and pulling Scott through a car window. Unlike Scott who sees only Allison, Chris and Victoria's can't separate their love for their daughter with the needs of their family.

For Scott -- and this parallel should be able to be seen from space but is often missed -- it's not his family, it's the Hales. Derek and Peter see Scott as a Beta first and a person second. "Do you want to study or do you want to not die?" "We only want you to reach your full potential." Just like Victoria and Chris, they can't separate what's best for Scott from what's best for them.

Their relationship may be damaged by the events that happen about them, but both of them given the other the strength to define who they are outside of these exterior forces. Allison becomes Scott's anchor, which not only keeps him from murder sprees but also allows him to defy the Hales. Scott gives Allison a reason to reject her family's legacy and define who she is going to be for herself.

It's a good story and a good romance.

[theflyindutchwoman]

So, um, what are you doing tonight? Nothing. I hope. Nothing sounds perfect.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.11 - The Naked and the Dead

It's the way this scene fully encapsulates the glory of their 'secret relationship' era that makes me love it so much. These two are so bad at this, as showcased in the previous episode… and they're not getting any better - at least, not Tim. In a way, it's almost too bad that it didn't last longer… Although, to be fair, it's not like they could have pulled it off either. Even in a moment like this, one that is not overtly romantic, they can't help themselves. And that's truly what makes this so good. This shouldn't be this hard for them to hide their new relationship : they've spent the last couple of years acting more like a married couple than mere colleagues. Everybody is used to them being them… They've never been able to hide their connection. The difference is that, up until now, they never tried to… So now that they are trying… Well, it's making their behavior that much more suspicious. Especially Tim's. He can't even make small talk without appearing guilty of something. The way he answers 'nothing' immediately when Nolan asks him what he did the previous night raises more questions. He's trying so hard. And it's so funny to see him this flustered when he's usually so in-control. Even how he's drinking his coffee (the one Lucy made for him) screams guilty. Speaking of Lucy… She is faring much better (which is not that hard). She has learned her lesson from their first date and come prepared with a full cover story. She can be such an overachiever, I love it. But the looks, the body language… Those don't lie.

Their repartee and bickering feel so much like them - but softer, somehow. They still love riling up the other. And it's so nice to see that their dynamic is intact. Right down to Tim mentoring Lucy about Citizens Academy, giving her some tips (without tricking her)… Only, now, she has a hard time focusing on what he is saying. The way she is making eyes at him, her body instinctively leaning towards him… There's this gravitational pull between them that they can no longer resist. And the overt flirting… 'Nothing' has never sounded sexier. I'm sure they spent the evening doing 'nothing'. A lot. Tim's smile while watching her go… The man is so far gone… Let's not forget that they are still at the station, in the break room, where anyone could come in at any time. They absolutely have no chill. And yet, they are not doing anything overt either. That's the beauty of it : they don't need much for their connection and chemistry to be on display. They're still them. This scene in some ways feels like the natural progression of another moment in this very same room, back in season 02, when Lucy was trying to set him up with Rachel… when they were both flirting without realising it… They're just taking it a step further now that they're together.

[enhashoutout]

Introducing Junie aka Baby

Genre: fluff, comedy aka CRACK fic, some angst

Warnings: cussing, typical H&L violence, periods are mentioned, mentions of blood and injuries, let me know if I missed anything

Since this is a little sister oc introduction, she is written with female attributes and pronouns.

All credits of pictures to their respective owners, I got them all off of Pinterest to make my character collage. The character collage however was made by me, please don't take it and crop out my username to repost it elsewhere.

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A little about Junie

Hino Junie

Physical appearance please reference the pictures above but you can really envision her however you want whenever you read. I personally see her a certain way but I don't know how to draw or have a face claim for her lol she just looks a certain way in my brain. The only concrete physical feature I want readers to envision for her is her hair as I felt it was important for her to have some blonde to match with her brother but I didn't want her to be fully blonde.

Cobra's (Hino Junpei) younger sister

By default ALL of Sannoh's little sister

They nicknamed her “Baby” because she is the baby of the family. Baby and Junie are used interchangeably.

Baby used to hate the nickname but grew used to it over time.

Cobra and Yamato taught her how to fight for self-defense purposes but they REFUSE to allow her to be a part of anything S.W.O.R.D related.

But they also contradict themselves because any time something is happening they be telling Junie like she's their certified therapist.

Like when Noboru was being a little shit thinking he was gonna work for Iemura? Girl, Junie was stuck listening to both of them spill their hearts out about it.

So really she isn't involved in the fights but knows everything going on.

Their father was never in the picture, and their mother isn't very present either. This left Cobra to be the one to raise Junie.

Cobra didn't mind, he loved Junie a lot but raising a girl in the world he was involved in was stressful.

Being a girl was already hard, throw in gang life and you have an endless cycle of stress.

Cobra's money he earns from the gas station goes to bills and paying for Junie to go to school.

Cobra never saw school for himself but he does for her. He always encouraged her to do well in school. This led to a lot of arguments while the two were growing up.

"But you didn't go to school!" "That was me! I want YOU to go to school so YOU can be BETTER."

This stopped around the age of 11. Junie realized he was working really hard, juggling being the leader of Sannoh and also raising her when he really didn't need to.

Raising Junie should've been their parents' job, not his, and yet here he was trying his best.

Junie went from average grades to being an overachiever because it felt like the only way to pay Cobra back.

Junie found an interest in contemporary dance and piano.

So Cobra transferred her from her old school to an art school farther from home.

The commute ended up being a little longer ( a 30-minute motorcycle ride instead of a 10-minute walk) but thank god she had a bunch of older brothers who drove motorcycles to send her to school and pick her up at the end of the day.

If it was late and Junie thought it was better to stay at school, she would just crash at one of her friend's dorms.

Some of the girls at school were nice. They wanted to know what living in S.W.O.R.D was like. They asked questions and found it cool that Junie's home life was different from theirs.

Some girls were real fuckin mean though. They would sneer at her, making fun of her home life. Talking about how a girl with that background had no business being here.

They also talked about your looks because you definitely looked the part of a delinquent's sister also. The school didn't make you dye your blonde hairstreak back to black, you just had to put your hair up and it didn't bug them too much.

It used to bug Junie when she first started but eventually, tuned them out considering she was top of the class anyway. (insert that one video of Bebe Rexha saying slay here lol)

Naomi was Baby's older sister. You loved having all the Sannoh members as older brothers but needed an older sister at times.

Junie's first period was a nightmare for Cobra because the dude didn't know how to explain it lol. Thank god we have Naomi though!

Hair, makeup, and emotional days were with Naomi also. Considering Sannoh can barely keep their own emotions in-tact, they had to leave that to Naomi.

Yamato's mom loved Junie. She always remembered to make extra onigiri for her as well. She wasn't the best but she tried.

Yamato's ranting about his home life usually fell on Baby because she listened to him. He didn't feel the need to always be strong around her like he did everyone else. He knew that at the end of the day, she would listen to him. Funnily she acted like both an older and younger sister to him. Always checking in on him but also always there to annoy him

DTC was scared of Baby low-key because she wasn't scared to fight with them but they all loved her.

Baby is always calling them out on their shit and telling them that "That's why you're all single."

They all come to her for their therapy sessions also😂

Whenever they needed someone to talk to they came to Junie because she would listen to them before roasting them.

Everyone in Sannoh was protective of Junie. They also all helped Cobra to keep Baby motivated to go to school. It was like having one really big family.

Anyone could make fun of her or talk down to her but at the end of the day, their family probably wasn't nearly as good as hers <3

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Current Timeline

The current timeline following the movies and TV Shows currently in the franchise

The first person Junie meets is Hyuga, pre- S.W.O.R.D. and pre-High&Low. Junie meets Hyuga while her brother is active in Mugen. This is right after Hyuga-Kai disbands because their kidnap attempt on Cobra failed. After all, Mugen saved him. Junie meets Hyuga when he first attacks Mugen for his brothers and is arrested.

Junie also meets the Amamiya Brothers during Mugen era. She has her own little run-in with Masaki and Hiroto

Once S.W.O.R.D. emerges, the first official leader she meets is Rocky.

Junie meets Hyuga, Rocky, and White Rascals at age 12 and these encounters happen before the start of the series.

Junie meets Oya and Rude Boys during Story of SWORD / Road to High&Low at age 13

High&Low The Movie is when she officially meets Mighty Warriors

During High&Low The Movie and High&Low End of Sky Junie is 14 years old.

Final Mission and The Worst Junie is 15 years old

According to the Discord Besties, The Worst starts like a week after Final Mission so that's what I'm going based off of

Once The Worst X comes around Junie is 16 years old

Since we don't get an actual timeline for the franchise of how much time passes between each show and movie, this is just me doing a rough estimate because I need Junie to be old enough to know what's going on during S.W.O.R.D. era but also still be Fujio's age by the time he is introduced since he is her love interest. Fujio is a third-year student by the time Worst X rolls around, which is the last year of high school in the Japanese school system. According to Google, Japanese students are around 17-18 years old at that time because their third year is the equivalent of a USA student's senior/last year in high school so I have Fujio's age sitting at 17 in my story.

I will get into Fujio and Junie's relationship more in posts dedicated to them.

Again this is all a rough estimate because we never get a concrete timeline in this franchise so don't take my word for it lol.

There is potential for this to change if LDH ever makes more High&Low movies or shows but that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon so...

And this is my OC and my story you can't tell me I'm wrong it's literally mine 😂

I will be making a master list for Junie and the shit she goes through living in SWORD because I have so much for her. Junie's story was supposed to all be one post but I realized it was already too long and we weren't even halfway into the lore yet so I had to split it into multiple parts.

Credit for High&Low and the contents from the franchise goes to its respective owners. Hino Junie however is an OC and belongs to me. Her dialogue in scenes that occur in the franchise belong to me and scenes that I make for her that do not appear in the franchise belong to me as well as I am the creator. Please do not take my work and post it elsewhere and do not take credit for my work. I post strictly on Tumblr, nowhere else.

[marzgurl]

OH, MAN! WHO WANTS AN UPDATE TO THE VIC MIGNOGNA MURDER PLOT LONGPOST?

I'll also be tacking a chunk of this onto the end of that reblog, if you happen to see that floating around, but I'll be cross-linking ASAP. But basically, Vic more directly addressed the Farah situation on his Twitch livestream today! Boy, Farah's not gonna like this one. Especially because we have proof that things did not go the way he said they went. He does not address the murder plot itself, but addresses the fact that, yes, he did in fact have this relationship and he's just mad at how Farah is handling learning about who Vic really is.

Watch the video above, but also, I'm putting a transcript of what he says here. I'm putting the transcript behind a cut, followed by personal commentary on how he's trying to dodge responsibility, lie, and gaslight despite the fact that we have information contrary to what he's saying.

Before that, though, I want to make it clear that before this specific block of video/transcript, he spent about 10 to 15 minutes saying that he is the way he is because his dad walked out on his family when he was like nine years old, and so he started getting really desperate to overachieve to gain everybody's attention and affections, got himself into a marriage with a wife and two of her kids at the age of 35, then she divorced him, and that's why he pursued anime and conventions as hard as he did because he just wanted to feel like people liked him (it's a really weird way he excuses a lot of his shitty behavior). Like I said, it goes on like that for, like, 10 to 15 minutes. And THEN he talks about his interactions with Farah. And boy, is it wild. Transcript and elaboration below:

"There's been someone online  and I'm not going to say their name, who's been making a lot of noise  and trying to cause a lot of trouble.  Not just for me, but even for people that care about me,  even friends of mine, which is just crazy.  And what's really nonsensical  is it's all private personal interaction. 

The simple truth here is  that I met this person a little over a year ago  and we both agreed when we met  that we were not interested in some kind of relationship  or some kind of long-term, deep, romantic thing. We both said that.  And so I felt like, okay,  we were honest from the very beginning  and we set the ground rules and fine. Just meant to be kind of fine and casual.  But several months in,  this person started expressing deeper feelings. And I was like, whoa, whoa, that's not what we talked about.  We said that we weren't gonna do that.  And there was someone in my life that I loved  and wanted to--I wanted to express--I wanted to focus more attention on that relationship. 

And so I told this person, the one that I was just casually, occasionally connecting with,  that I needed to break that off,  that I needed to stop that  because I wanted to focus on this relationship. Well, they didn't take it very well.  I started to back away.  I told them that I wanted to focus on this  and that I felt like the right thing to do  was to end the connection with them. And they did not take it well  and since then have been doing any damage they could to me or anyone connected to me. 

Now, this person claimed to love me and care about me. And I don't know about you,  but flaming somebody,  illegally recording conversations,  releasing private messages,  those are not the actions of somebody you care about. You know what I mean?  That's not what you do  to someone that you care about.  I mean, and by the way, that's a crime. Can I just point that out, everybody?  It's illegal.  I haven't committed any crimes.  I mean, I've definitely made some bad mistakes. I've hurt people, I've made bad choices that I regret,  but recording someone's phone conversation  without their knowledge or their permission  is against the law, much less releasing it. 

And I don't know about you,  but I could never do those kind of things  to somebody that I genuinely cared about. And you know what's interesting, you guys?  It's easy to love someone who loves you back, right?  Right?  It's so easy to love someone who loves you back. That doesn't take much work.  The real test of true love  is loving somebody who may not feel the same way  or loving someone even when things don't go  the way you wanted them to. That is the test of true love.  Caring about somebody enough  that you don't react badly, you don't seek vengeance or try to hurt them  because things didn't go the way you wanted them to.  That is not love.  And the real test of love is caring about somebody  and demonstrating compassion and grace and mercy  and understanding and kindness  even when things didn't go the way you wanted them to. If you are Christians and I--and I--I am and I want to be better at it, you can't treat people that way. 

God loves us and extends grace and forgiveness to us  that we do not deserve.  And we are called to do the same thing. We are to forgive because we've been forgiven.  We are to extend grace because grace has been extended to us.  We are to be compassionate in the face of anger or hatred  or whatever because it was extended to us by God.

Nothing was ever meant out of malice or vindictiveness  or deceit in my mind.  I have just struggled for a long time as I told you  because of my own past and my own upbringing  and things that have happened in my life  that have made me struggle very, very hard  to feel that I was worthy of love, that I was worth anyone's time or attention or love.  And I suspect that a lot of you do as well. 

So that's the only thing I'm going to say.  I would like to encourage you guys once again, do not engage, do not engage and fight or argue  or post or reply to this stuff  because you know what the overarching umbrella  over everything that I just said is? It's nobody's business.  Your private life, your private interactions with somebody  are yours and theirs business, nobody else's. And just by virtue of the fact  that a lot of people may know who I am,  makes it very inviting for someone to make a big stink  and make a lot of noise on social media. Why? Not because it's gonna change anything,  but just to get attention or to somehow seek revenge  because you're hurt or things didn't go the way  you wanted them to. Don't engage with these people online, okay?  Can I ask you that?  Please, please don't, for yourself as well,  for your own sanity. 

The, these people are so desperate to feel important. They want so badly to feel noticed.  In fact, think about this, you guys.  They probably don't think very highly of themselves. Do you see the connection?  Do you see the similarity between me  and my childhood and my upbringing? Do you see it?  Not feeling worthy.  Not feeling like you're a very much value.  A lot of people feel that,��and the only difference is how they deal with it.  How does it come out?  Some people will do just about anything  and say just about anything online or in person  to get some attention because that attention  makes them feel valuable. It makes them feel noticed.  Do you see it?  Do you see it? 

I remember a psychology class when I was in college.  And I remember them saying that,  I remember the professor one day saying  that children or people in general  would prefer negative attention to no attention at all. Think about that for a minute.  They would rather be known for something bad  than not to be known at all. They would rather be noticed for creating a scene  or destroying somebody's career  or trashing someone who they don't like  rather than not be known at all or noticed at all.

And the problem with social media,  I'm sorry, but this is important.  I'm sorry that I'm talking about this,  but the problem with social media guys is  you don't have to prove anything. You can get online and you can say anything you want.  You can make any claims you want.  And nobody really knows whether it's true or not. And I'll tell you something else.  If any of you have ever worked with Photoshop  or editing programs, you can edit text messages, you can edit emails, you can edit photos.  You can make something appear to be a certain way.  And I happen to know for a fact  that there have been an awful lot of lies, flat out lies that have been propagated, that are not true.  But there's nothing you can do  because people have the right to say whatever they want. Social media has given everybody a voice  to hurt someone from thousands of miles away  with no accountability, no proof of anything, nothing."

MAN, this guy lies like he breathes. For one, he does everything in his power to dodge saying he had a sexual relationship with the person he was describing. Just incredible.

For another thing, even if he and Farah started off as casual partners, Farah was absolutely not cool playing the part of a homewrecker. She has stated this herself multiple times, including here on TikTok.

Vic deliberately leaves out the actual timeline of events. Why? Because it's SUPER messy, because he's a super messy dude. Okay! Wanna know what that timeline looks like? You're not ready for this.

Vic dated/was engaged to Michele Specht between the years of 2006 to 2018. That's a long-ass amount of time! During that time, Vic cheated on Michele REPEATEDLY, with prostitutes, other fans at anime conventions, even people on his Star Trek Continues fan film (that Michele ALSO stars in, so that's super fuckin' shitty). But a very SPECIFIC super fuckin' shitty relationship that cropped up during that time was with Haileigh Todd (maybe you recognize that name from the previous longpost!). Haileigh and Vic met somewhere around 2016. By 2017, Vic was the ADR director of the one and only Funimation anime he'd ever get to direct, Juni Taisen. And guess what! Haileigh Todd got to be in it. Also, another one of his side chicks, Chelsea Beard, ALSO got to be in it! Fuckin' gross, goin' around behind at least three different women's backs! How do we know it was even just those three?

Anyway, a bunch of shit happens, and by 2018 Michele finally left Vic. All the shit about his behavior hit the fan in 2019, and you guys know how that went. He's had some more girlfriends since then. And guess what! At least one of those girlfriends was Haileigh Todd! AGAIN! And this time, Haileigh is a little more permanent, and a little more public with her relationship with Vic. She starts posting about him on Instagram in late 2021, and by early 2022 she's saying they're the real deal now. Aww, how cute and sweet!

But then Bak-Anime 2022 happens, in Bakersfield, California, May 21-22, 2022. This is where Farah meets Vic! And they apparently hit it off and become an item! A SEXUAL item!

But, oh no! Vic had never broken up with Haileigh! Haileigh's still posting about her relationship with Vic at Anime Matsuri, which was at the end of July, 2022! UH-OH!

So then Farah has her little Discord chat in December 2022 that got leaked to me later. Farah is saying that Vic has been telling her that he needs to "go back to his ex, to give her closure, because she's been hounding him because she could tell he was talking to another woman". But is it REALLY his ex when he never broke up with her to begin with? But also, he wanted to leave her as an open option, and didn't want their break-up to be permanent???

From what Farah says online later, she and Vic didn't talk for a few weeks while he "gave Haileigh closure", and then there they go, going right back to being in a relationship again! WITHOUT ever breaking up with Haileigh! AGAIN! And this happens up until May, through her harassing me on his behalf, potentially planning my murder (very maybe yes), until I dropped these Discord screenshots. And then SHE decided not to forgive him, and their relationship ended.

So, hey, Vic! Way to leave out the part where your "casual little friend" you had there was a sexual relationship you were having behind your monogamous partner's back, that you told neither Haileigh NOR Farah about before engaging in! Very cool, 60-year-old man guy! COOL!

And, like, come on now. It's kinda fucking sick to do all this lying and manipulative shit to multiple women, and then shame the women involved for being mad that you did that shit to them. Like, if God will just forgive you for everything you do, how dare they not forgive you for being a lying, manipulating piece of shit? Like, if this was just a one-off instance, that'd be one thing. But this is a thing you have been KNOWN for and CAUGHT DOING for DECADES to COUNTLESS WOMEN. But this time you were legitimately caught in 4K. You don't get to just pretend that these are just crazy, lying, vindictive, vengeful bitches, man. We all know. We ALL know!

And to top it all off, the man confirms that he had this relationship (albeit while trying to gaslight his audience into thinking it wasn't all that it actually was), and yet turns around and says elements of the things Farah has been sharing are fake. As a reminder, Farah faked an absolutely abysmal Change.org petition, as well as an abysmally terribly faked "CNN-Anime" article on Medium.com (she wrote my name as Kaylyn Dicksion-Saucedo, and that's not my name--my name is Kaylyn Dalene Saucedo, not using my maiden name, and not hyphenated). I cannot stress enough to you that when Farah fakes things, SHE IS EXTRAORDINARILY BAD AT IT. I ran so much of the stuff she was sharing via Discord and other screenshots since then by so many other people, and we all came to the conclusion that when it came to this, she was absolutely not faking it. Like, it was way too COMPETENT to be faked. Do you understand what I mean? She is not good enough to convincingly fake the important parts of her relationship with Vic that she has been sharing. Top that off with video recordings of phone calls she's had with him (which he confirms in the video are real), and it more than proves that she's been telling the truth about the nature of their relationship. And it's ALSO what makes me that much more able to believe that it's entirely possible they'd had conversations about plotting my death.

This man has repeated the same rhetoric for decades now--that people only say negative things about him because he's famous and his detractors are just looking for attention. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. Sometimes, when people are trying to warn you, it's because they've seen enough shit and don't want other people to get hurt. That's where we're at right now. At this point, we are not signal boosting these stories because it earns us brownie points within our communities. We do it because we CARE about those communities enough to not want them to get hurt at the hands of some fucking 60-year-old Screamy Broccoli Man narcissist. We earn nothing by spreading the message. As you saw from my longpost, clearly, we get death threats and possibly even future hit jobs put on us! What good does this actually do me in the end?

Just come away from everything you've read with this:

Be safe out there in this community, and let manipulative gaslighting narcissists like this asshole get bent.

[aliypop]

Return To Sender : Chapter 4

Word Count: 2,123

Writers Note: Alright, here's part 4! @sissylittlefeather, you'll love this!

Warning: Language / SLIGHT SMUT

Pairing: POC OC x Elvis / OC x Jerry

Plot: It's 1968 and Natalya Dyer a divorcee and single mother is tasked to interview Elvis and Cecelia Presley at their humble mansion Graceland about their spicy relationship only to learn more about them as people.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Taglist

@darkmoviesquotespizza

@sissylittlefeather

@richardslady121

@thegettingbyp2

@presleyenterprise

@dkayfixates

@rjmartin11

@thetaoofzoe

@your-nanas-house

@zayurir

@60svintage

@sillybookmarks

@leapresley

@everythingelvispresley

@dreamondina94

@elvismylove04

@pocketfulofpresley

@elvispresley1956

@poeandmoonknightgirl

Memphis August 1968

"Sorry, we're late..." Natalya whispered, walking up the steps to pick up her son. "No worries, Nat. Elvis and I were still up." Cecelia mentioned as she led her to Jesse's bedroom, "What were you two doing still up?" She didn't mean to say it, but it happened, "Reading, Sometimes Elvis has trouble sleeping, so I'll read to him until he falls asleep." Natalya nodded as she smiled. Every time the Presleys talked, she wanted to have just an ounce of their love for each other. "Was he good?" She asked as Cecelia smiled. "Perfect. Anytime we're here. And you want us to watch Jericho. You let us know." Cecelia winked, "You mean it?" 

"Nat, when you become a friend with us, you become family,"

"Really..." Cecelia nodded, 

"Next week, the girls and I are hanging around here for a girls night,"

"And Elvis?"

"He's having a boy's night, though sometimes we impose." She chuckled as Natalya smiled and hugged her. She finally found people who made her feel like she belonged, 

"Thank you for everything..." 

"Of course,"

"Say, could you keep Jericho next week, say. Friday?"

"You and Jerry, huh?" Elvis smirked.

It was Friday, and Jericho was running around with Elaine and Jesse as Cecelia had been writing songs and business proposals. "Hey, honey?" Elvis said as Cecelia looked up, "You're not still mad at me, are you?" Cecelia glanced at her husband and then saw the look on his face, "Disappointed, yes. But mad at you, no." She took his hand and kissed it,

 "I'm sorry I peaked and found the gift you got me..." 

"It's okay," Cecelia laughed, "I shouldn't have gotten so angry." Elvis kissed her cheek until they heard glass break, already knowing it had to be either Jesse or Elaine who broke it. 

"Jericho did it!" was all they heard as Cecelia laughed, "And to think we wanted a third child," Elvis commented. However, on Audobond, Natalya was getting ready for her night with Jerry, which a part of her had butterflies about, and the other part said he was just a good friend, that was until he knocked. Jerry was standing there casually with the summer wind in his hair. 

"I bought Rosé." He smiled,

"I have strawberry ice cream." She smiled. as he walked in. Her house was enchanting. There were pictures of her and Jericho, her degrees on the wall, awards, and such, 

"I see you're very accomplished," He mentioned, 

"Yeah! An overachiever." She mumbled,

"Nah, you're smart."He smiled, "I like that,"

"Uhm, so you hungry?"

"I could eat," Jerry smirked. She wasn't used to compliments anymore, as he could see, but she deserved it,

 "So, how was your day?" Jerry asked, standing in the kitchen with her,

"Well. Jericho said he wanted to be in little league football." She laughed, "So I said. Well, I don't know, bud," her hands moving with her words, "But Jericho looked at me with those sad little eyes and," She looked at Jerry as he laughed, "Am I talking too much about him?"

"You're good. I played football as a kid, so if he needs any coaching, I could help." He winked, and she felt her heart race.

"That's kind of you. Jericho also has this father-son day coming up and..."

"I'll be there. Elvis is going anyways, so." Her knees were weak as she struggled to open the can of marinara sauce, a knife in her hand as she tried to pry it open,

 "Here, let me." Taking the jar from her, he twisted the lid and gave it back to her. It had been too long since she had someone do that for her, "Thanks..." She blushed, taking a whiff of his cologne as she was dizzy with desire, but she couldn't. They were friends and nothing else. 

After dinner, they were in her living room watching TV and putting her articles together, "I was thinking for the cover we have Cece El." She smiled as Jerry agreed, "Yeah, I like that. They're rarely on a cover together," he smiled, drinking his wine, 

"Exactly, then... Open with their interview!"

"Nah nah nah, page 7 interview, make the people work to read it." He added, "Page one should be all about you as an independent magazine, your mission." Jerry smiled as Natalya nodded,

 "You believe in me?"

"With all my heart, kid." He turned to look at her. Her body was on fire, "I-I see..." She blushed, knowing it was the wine, "It's hot in here. You want ice cream! I need ice cream..." Rushing to the kitchen she made a bowl and plopped a heavy amount in as she stuck two spoons in it. Jerry was laughing, he could tell she was into him, and he knew he needed to up his charm. As she sat back down and placed the bowl down she felt something wet on her body as she groaned,

 "Great... I wasted the wine..." 

"Not really..." Jerry smirked,

"What do you mean?"

"I could lick it off you..."

"You wouldn't..." She felt his tongue on her neck, "Dare..." her voice was breathy. 

"I might..." His fingers fiddling with the zipper on her skirt as she tried to fight it, his scent wafting back into her nostrils as she bit her lip, her brain was on fire saying that they were friends until she felt his mouth licking the access wine off her stomach, slowly, her eyes focusing at how he was between her legs, 

"You like that, huh?"

"Oh, eat me..." She blushed,

"As you wish," He smirked, feeling how wet she was getting, taking her panties off her as his mouth was on her clit, "Oh God..." Her eyes closed, and her body melted in pleasure, she hadn't been touched in so long. It felt like heaven just to have him under her skirt. She could feel his tongue lapping at her slick folds and her back already arching up to give him more access.

"Fuck... Jerry..." his fingers were inside her, plunging into her gushing wet cavern as he twirled his finger across her G-spot, causing her to writhe in pleasure, her legs shaking as if he'd had fucked her entirely, 

"J-Jerry!"

"Hmm..."

"Right there!"

"Like this?" Speeding up his fingering as he heard her gasp and mewl and moan, his thumb twirling her clit as he could hear her getting closer, 

"Baby, please!"

"Baby, huh..." That southern smirk on his face as he brought her to climax, crawling over to her to kiss her lips. The kiss was drunken, needy, wanting, yet savory as he bit at her lip, 

"Pants off now..."

"Hmm?"

"Now..." She smirked as he winked, Jerry could feel his pants tighten at the tone of her words, as he watched her lick the spoon covered in ice cream Jerry could tell right away what she wanted, taking him from his pants, Natalya had a tinted blush on her face as Jerry giggled, he felt like a schoolboy again,

 "What's funny?" She asked,

"Watching you blush." He grinned, "Nervous?"

"I know what I'm doing..." Natalya smirked, taking him in her mouth as she felt him hit the back of her throat a little,

 "Let me adjust for you." He moved as she tried again, Jerry groaned as he felt the cool sensation of the ice cream on his shaft, she could taste his skin and the strawberry as she bobbed her head in rhythm to whatever song was playing on the TV commercial in the background. Jerry held her cheek as he felt her tongue on the tip slurping around the base, her eyes focused on him as he bit his lip. Natalya could feel him throbbing between her lips the more she slurped and popped, she was driving him crazy, and she knew it.

 "Nat~" He moaned, his eyes fluttering as her hands twisted around him, she could feel him getting closer, and pulling away she added more ice cream in her mouth to hide the salty taste on her tongue. 

"Shit... Did you just..."

"Mhmm..." She winked,

"Damn you, Dyer." He laughed, 

"You started it, Schilling..." 

"So, uh... advice?" Natalya asked. It was a peaceful Saturday afternoon with Rosa, Daphane, Carlotta, and Midge as Cecelia was in the kitchen grabbing drinks, "On what?" Midge wondered,

"Yeah on what?"

"So... You all know Jerry and I have been hanging out," Natalya said as Rosa giggled,

 "Goodluck I dated him and-"

"You messed it up by going back to Scotty..." Midge added, "Continue Nat," 

"Well, do friends lick wine off you and then give you mind-blowing head..."

"NO!" Cecelia interjected, 

"Says the girl who said Elvis's cocka-cola fell inside her back in 55..." Carlotta grumbled, 

"You're just jealous..." Cecelia huffed, setting down drinks, "Mai-tai, an old-fashioned, metropolitan, and a lemonade for me." 

"Y'all ever get drunk, and land with your face in some really good muff..." 

"No..." Joe looked up from his beer as Red and Sonny laughed, Charlie blinked and Cheryl smirked, "Yes..."

"Jerry what the hell..." Elvis sighed, drinking his Pepsi-cola almost as if he were disgusted, "Two things E, ice cream blow job." Jerry smirked as Elvis blinked at him, "Oh come on E, the number of times I've walked in on you and Cece on set,"

"Well was it with Nat..." He asked as Jerry's smile widened, "Hell yeah, my boy, my boy," Elvis smirked. 

"I mean it kinda fell in my mouth..." Natalya blushed, "Sure it did." Cecelia laughed as the rest of the girls did, "But, it felt so good like I need more of it."

"Southern men are like that," Rosa added as Daphane agreed, 

"Really?"

"Married nine years with two kids, yes." Cecelia chuckled as Carlotta sighed. It wasn't that she didn't like this talk. She just didn't like her talking about Elvis,

 "Carlotta, you okay?" Rosa asked

"Yeah..." She nodded in response, 

"So, I invited Jerry to the kid's father-son lunch," Natayla smiled as the girls grinned, 

"And..." Midge smirked,

"He invited himself. I know I keep saying Jerry and I are friends but..."

"But E, There's something about her," Jerry smiled, "She's so amazing, and I wanna do anything to keep her happy," Jerry said as Elvis nodded,

 "Well, then do so." He shrugged. The men then stopped talking as they watched the kids playing football. Jerry watched Jericho who was struggling as he walked over to him, 

"Jesse I'm not good at it ok..."

"Yes, you are." Jesse smiled,

"No, he's not." Elaine teased holding the ball, 

"Is too!"

Is not!

"Is too!"

"Hey, what's going on here?" Jerry asked squatting to their level, 

"I'm not good at football." Jericho pouted, "So, you're gonna quit before you start?" Jerry asked as Jericho shook his head in agreement, 

"No, see things like this take practice..." He smiled, 

"They do?"

"Yes, Jesse they do."He sighed as he then turned to face Jericho, "Listen, we don't give up okay, no matter how hard anything is, we don't give up."

"Okay..." Jericho nodded,

"So you know RCA's having a gala and-" Cecelia paused as she looked out in the backyard and saw the boys playing football, "Did Jerry just tackle Elvis..." Cecelia turned to look at Natalya, "I find that attractive..." Natalya smirked, the two walking outside to watch, "FOUL!"

"What Cheryl that ain't a foul!" Elvis grumbled,

"That's ten points to team Hound Dog," Cheryl smirked, 

"Yes!" Jericho grinned high-fiving Jerry, 

"You two wanna be cheerleaders?" Elaine asked 

"Sure why not!" Natalya smiled, the rest of the women stood by the fence and watched, the final round was getting heated, and team Tiger Man was losing horribly, "Okay team, here's the play, Jericho you're going to take down Charlie, I'll throw the ball and Jesse..."

"I'm gonna take down my papa,"

"Exactly,"

"What if I can't..." Jericho got nervous, "Then be like Joshua and take down that wall..." Jerry ruffled up his hair as he laughed, 

"Okay," Jericho winked. The game was getting intense the girls were worried as Elvis twisted his ankle and Jerry on the ground, it was left to Jericho to sprint the ball to the other side, 

"GO JERICHO GO!!!" Natalya shouted as he carried it to the other side, 

"I DID IT! MAMA! MR. JERRY I DID IT!" Jericho grinned as Jerry picked him up on his shoulders "Yeah you did!" Jerry smiled, Natalya's heart fluttered as she almost kissed Jerry,

"Honey!"

"Oh, dear are you okay!" Cecelia ran to help Elvis up, "Mmhmm, Spranged my damn ankle," He sighed,

 "My poor baby." She grinned, "Can I get you anything..."

"A bath with you in it..." He winked, 

"Are they always like that..." Natalya whispered,

"Yeah..." Jerry laughed, 

CHAPTER 5 MAYHAPS?

[mdhwrites]

If you really don't like Amity having bad parents being a reason why she became antagonistic initially, what do you think would've been a better reason for why she acted the way she did initially? After all, no one is born mean.

So first: Sometimes kids are just mean. Not everyone comes from a broken family or has some sort of trauma that caused them to be an asshole. My twin brother is a narcissistic, abusive dick while my sister is incredibly selfless and caring and SHE is the one who has gone through real abuse and a failed marriage while my brother's biggest whine to make is... Honestly not much. Hell, I don't have some big trauma to explain why I have depression. I just hit adulthood and my brain's reaction to the stresses and changes was to shatter like glass. Humans are complicated like that

BUT to be fair, in a narrative no one needs to be evil just for the sake of evil. It's part of why Belos is boring. Even with Sasha, she's made more interesting by the fact that she doesn't think she's in the wrong for two entire seasons. So what could have been a better reason for Amity to be antagonistic?

Easy: The reason they gave in Covention and then expanded on in Lost in Language. It's actually the Willow stuff, the stuff that is more tied into her parents, that sucks way harder for Amity's character. Amity, early on, is an overachiever who deeply cares about her craft and takes things very seriously. That is just generally opposed to who Luz is in general. The fact that Luz wants to be a witch when there should be no way for that to be possible, made worse by how Luz treats it like something that should be fun. The fact that Luz is constantly messing around while she's working herself into an aneurysm. These are very natural conflicts that could have been explored more by the show but they made a severe mistake.

They made Amity an over the top, practically OOC, villain when she first shows and they show this by having her bully Willow and say this is what she normally does. The problem for Amity is that now she NEEDS an explanation to be such a bitch. It's not something a little understanding can deal with because it's not friction that causes her to be mean or standoffish, it's that she just straight up enjoys torturing this one girl. And mind you: It was still her choice because she only had to stop being friends with Willow. She didn't have to target her for extra bullying as we see is the present status quote.

It's also bad for Luz. Part of why I don't buy that she's some tortured outcast who has been mistreated is because she doesn't blink when it comes to Amity. One moment of cuteness and Luz is immediately going "Let's live out my fantasy and befriend her!" despite Amity being the absolute epitome of the sort of girl who supposedly would have made Luz's life hell back home. By the end of Lost in Language though, their third major episode together, they're effectively friends.

Honestly, with how little of characters Gus and Willow are, mostly serving to let Luz into Hexide and closer to Amity, alongside the fact that Dana herself said she wanted a queer romance as fast as possible... I just wouldn't have given them an antagonistic relationship. Bare minimum, not enemies to lovers (not that the show really tries that hard). Their personalities are enough to make an interesting, classic dynamic without making them hate each other at first.

Honestly, if I were to try to suggest a rewrite: Make it so that Covention is the third episode, Luz forces Eda to take her there because she sees a sign and tortures Eda like in the episode, Gus and Willow don't do anything besides exposition and introduce the concept anyways and then have the episode go the way it was originally but instead of it being because she's comically evil that she steps on King's cupcake, have it be for King's actual personality. She doesn't like the freeloader who she sees as mooching off of things and so stomps his cupcake. Gets across her serious attitude and that she is a pretty severe person. Luz makes her challenge, they have their duel where Luz finds out about Eda's sister and Amity being Lilith's pupil and after their heart to heart (because Luz in S1 had no reason to chase Amity in Covention anyways besides empathy for a crying girl), Luz gets an idea: She's going to befriend Amity and in the process, mend the rift between Lilith and Eda. This gives an actual plot purpose to getting closer to Amity.

Then you don't have the episodes wasted on Gus and Willow, nor the episodes wasted apologizing for Amity's behavior but instead can focus on Luz breaking into Hexide to say Amity. While Amity doesn't like the methods, she appreciates hard and dedication and doing it so as to be nice to her? That... That touches her and she's willing to see what the human does, especially if maybe she can learn some of that glyph magic to supplement her own? Make her a better witch too achieve her own goals?

And as they grow closer, it becomes less transactional. Grom can still happen like it did with Amity expecting Luz to want something for helping but nope! It's just because Luz is nice. And then for the finale, Luz doesn't have to be alone in her heist because while it puts her future in jeopardy, Luz has taught Amity enough about being a good person and doing the right thing that while she'll still want a disguise, she'll come with to try and save Eda's life. An act of early rebellion against what she believed in, the morals taught to her, so as to be able to properly show she's changing to not just blindly accept the EC as the best option. This also allows for the betrayal of Lilith to mean more to Amity if their mentor and student relationship has meant more to the series. Suddenly, her dance with anarchy becomes more fervent because her teacher, the one she saw as the best proof of how great the EC is, was lied to and tricked by the Emperor and now against the coven.

And for S2, if her parents aren't the main pressures on her, if it's just because she's a kid who cares about success, you don't need Escaping Expulsion and can spend half of that episode and the entirety of Looking Glass Ruins exploring Amity trying to figure out rebellion, potentially not wanting to put Luz at risk after she almost died in the S1 finale, but justifying it as her always doing things on her own. They have a big adventure climax against Belos that's also exploring rebel Luz and afterwards, Amity gives Luz a peck on the cheek for always being there. Always helping her figure things out when she'd be too stubborn to see clearly herself. Then go into Knock Knock Knocking with little changed if you want to keep that moment of them getting together the same.

It's not a perfect outline but it's what I came up with while writing this. And if you're thinking this is too much time spent on Amity, you need to remember that she already consumes a third of Luz's time during episodes in S1 and 2. Sure, TOH claims to not be a romance but then the original way it's written is unjustified because Amity already has more time dedicated to her as a pure romance without ANYTHING to do with the plot and barely anything to do with the themes at best.

But I will also admit that this is with hindsight and a more indulgent rewrite than I normally allow myself to. After all, I removed two entire characters for this. Characters that hardly matter to TOH anyways but if I was really trying to keep to it, I wouldn't get rid of them. The deck is stacked in my deck regardless to make it 'better' and that's not fair to the show.

But I hope that my point stands clear that Amity didn't need to be a real villain, even if only for an episode. She could have been a light antagonist, if she even needed to be that. Nothing is really gained by it in the grand scheme of TOH besides the Twitter posts who make shallow claims on her arc by using the angry face in episode 3 versus her smiling with purple hair and going "Can you believe this is the same person?"

And my response every time because of how shallow her villainy is, which makes her arc shallow, is why should I care? Because blaming her parents doesn't make me care.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[mcflymemes]

NO STRINGS ATTACHED PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2011 film

i'm warning you. if you take one step closer, i'm never letting you go.

so what's up with not calling me back?

it's perfect. will you read it for me?

did you think we had sex? we did not have sex!

i know it's over.

are you having sex?

that is a terrible, self-destructive plan, and i'm behind you a hundred percent.

when we met, you weren't wearing pants.

can we not tell everyone?

how long have you two been together?

what i need is someone who's gonna be in my bed at 2AM who i don't have to lie to or eat breakfast with.

yup, i'm definitely gay.

look, i'm not really an affectionate person.

go on a date with me.

you are such an overachiever.

look at my face.

we're sex friends. friends with benefits. fuck buddies.

i can't keep doing this. i'm not gonna see you again.

look, i know i'm supposed to want to be in a relationship, but i just end up with a broken heart and a bunch of their old t-shirts.

if we were in a relationship, i would become a weird scary version of myself. my throat starts constricting. the walls start throbbing. it's like a peanut allergy, like an emotional peanut allergy.

hey, someone call charlie brown! we found the great pumpkin!

don't make fun of me!

i'm gonna call everyone in my phone until someone agrees to have sex with me.

i'm pretty good at archery.

let's smoke some weed.

i sprained my wrist punching a wall.

i'm not good at this stuff.

the box of fifty donut holes is $5.79. you're gonna need two boxes.

we fell asleep and we were spooning.

try to stay away from women who want to fuck you.

that was really mean.

don't do that. don't just disappear like that on me.

how much money do you have on you?

do you wanna do this?

well, i can't date you either.

you're very talented, but fuck you!

i guess i wanted to hear your voice.

i want you to know that i respect you.

you shouldn't listen to me.

thank you for what you did back at the restaurant.

do you want to get out of here?

it's not really possible.

you left your socks in my room.

if you're lucky, you're never gonna see me again.

congrats? for what? having sex with you?

i'm so sorry. i love you.

hey, you can't call me and tell me that you miss me.

if you really miss me, you need to grow up and get in your car and come and see me.

people aren't meant to be together forever.

i don't want to freak you out, but i'd love to hang out with you in the daytime sometime.

i thought you just said it.

i'm going to start peeing with the door open. it's going to get weird.

i can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me!

i don't want to have that conversation on the phone.

we don't get to pick who we fall in love with, and it doesn't happen like it should.

we didn't break up. we never started.

you did a good job, so i thought you deserved a balloon.

you make my heart skip a beat.

yeah, i could do that.

can i say something? and don't take this the wrong way because you know i'll be your friend no matter what.

okay, where's that?

oh, by the way, it's the best sex of my life.

are you still there?

i made you a valentine's day card.

i'm assuming that's a good thing.

things were getting too intense so we decided not to see each other until we hook up with other people.

that's really sweet.

you always do this. you always find something wrong with everybody who likes you.

we were spooning with our clothes on which is like. ten times worse.

we are getting laid tonight!

is this about me not having a date?

god, i am single as fuck.

i understand what's going on.

you have to come with me.

i can't stop thinking about them.

this isn't really my place.

i'm telling you to be hurt. i can take it. the world can take it.

sometimes my neck gets sore because my brain is so big.

get in your car and drive away.

i know this is random. i just... um. i miss you. i miss you so much.

i don't know what to say.

you're fucking my ex-girlfriend?

i'm not gonna meet your parents.

don't list me as your emergency contact. i won't come.

you know i worry about you sometimes.

i think monogamy goes against our basic biology.

i just worked fourteen hours.

no one threw up on me today.

that was such a fail on my part.

if i catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time, i'm taking that thing away.

watch and learn.

you want to go with me to this stupid thing?

did i just pass out on your couch?

did you look at it?

oh my god, i love you so much.

[plutobutartsy]

What songs make you think of briar, nate, and Evie?

ohhh that's a great question!! i narrowed it down to 3 each but they're all fairly angsty, my bad 😭

also this ended up bein a lot longer than i intended fcf

Briar

Are You Satisfied? by Marina

[High achiever, don't you see? / Baby, nothing comes for free / They say I'm a control freak / Driven by a greed to succeed || It's my problem, it's my problem if I feel the need to hide / And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die]

this one is pretty self-explanatory; he's an overachiever and a perfectionist and pushes people away so 1. they don't see his flaws and 2. he can focus on becoming the best™

ILYIS pt. 2 by Mel Bryant & The Mercy Makers

[I love you, you're so selfless / I'm sorry, I'm so selfish / I love that you're so gentle / And I'm sorry I'm so hellish]

the best way to push people away is to mistreat them in some way, shape or form and Briar knows this. unfortunately, that doesn't stop him from feeling incredibly guilty about it. and then he feels guilty about feeling guilty because he chose this, so he has no right to be unhappy about it, right?

Alien Blues by Vundabar

[I need to purge my urges, / Shame, shame, shame / I need an alibi to justify, / Somebody to blame]

this one applies in two ways. for one, it's very much about his eating disorder and the shame he feels around his need to feed. but it's also about how he hides who he really is in order to project this image of perfection.

Nate

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber

[Tears falling down at the party / Saddest little baby in the room / Fears, tell me fears, don't get me started / I get a little grey hair for every scare you share]

allthough they wear this cheery mask, if you look closely enough you can see that Nate is pretty much always sad. no matter how many people he has around him, he's always the saddest and most lonely person in the room! :D

Fifteen Minutes by Mike Krol

[What if I told you that the world was gonna end / And you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends? / I guess we don't even need to use the phone / I don't need your answer, I'll be spending it alone]

since he does his best to shut off all of his feelings, all his relationships are veryyy surface-level. Nate is convinced that they'll never be anybody's favourite person or first choice.

i'm your man by mitski

[So, when you leave me, I should die / I deserve it, don't I? || One day, you'll figure me out / I'll meet judgement by the hounds || You believe me like a god / I betray you like a man]

oh he feels so so guilty for this fake persona he's putting on. they think they're unlovable (like their father) and like they're deceiving everybody atound them, tricking them into liking him.

also dog mention 🐺🐺🐺

Evie

Shame by mitski

[I never was very good / I haven’t been so good / But right outside the door nobody knows / They’re right outside the door and they don’t know how it / Feels so good] alright, so i've already established that Evie feels a lot of shame surrounding, well, everything. she feels like she's just so incredibly average at everything she does, no matter how hard she tries. she also feels incredibly guilty and ashamed over how she knocks others down to climb the social latter. the last two verses relate to her specifically in regards to her self harm :).

summer depression by girl in red

[Pretty face with pretty bad dreams / No one knows I cry in my sleep / Waking up feeling like shit / It's a normal thing to feel like this]

honestly, this whole song is Evie all year around but summer is similar to her birthday in the sense that she's painfully aware that she should be doing things with her friends like other people her age, except she has no friends. additionally, she does everything in her power to keep her depression from her family because she thinks she's "not sick enough". she's convinced herself that feeling awful 24/7 is normal, that everyone feels like this and she's just being a crybaby about it! yay :3

Lovefuck by Dream Nails

[You'll love and fuck / You'll love and fuck and love again / Your world is growing bigger every day / I know you don't believe me]

ending this on a hopeful note! this is very much Evie once her mental health gets better and she realizes that life isn't so bad and that she still has all the time in the world to find happiness :D

[simplydnp]

I actually started crying when I read your recent post about unlearning shame. I'm so proud of you and happy that you're doing this 💗 I on the other hand am not as brave and unfortunately still present as a caricature of myself, or just another "cooler"person entirely. I'm in law school and I did fuckin modeling for like 3 years, I did fencing I'm so cool!! Except all those things I'm doing trying to be. Except the sport I actually love fencing. But still these are things that don't always feel authentic to me, sometimes they do - for example I am vain at times so whatever, I like academics and uni in general but don't know if I wanna do anything with law really. We'll see. None of my friends know about some of my real interests or thoughts (I don't think they would judge me I genuinely don't want to ruin my "image" or whatever I've created). Now that I'm typing it, I realize how sad that sounds. Anyway I'm not going to the dnp show, because none of my friends know I like them or would want to go. I don't,have online friends because I'm just a lurker from my carefully curated artsy blog where i dont post dnp lmao. Still, I wish you a great time and thank you for posting that! If I'm more brave in the future, I might go to another tour they might do in a few years

oh anon 🫂 god its brutal out here isn't it

the unfortunate part about all of this is that i Really care how i'm perceived. i'm very careful about how i present myself because i have this fear of being too much. that once people see enough of me, they'll leave. and it'll be my fault. so i simply have to walk that line. the loneliness of no one ever truly knowing. or them finding out too much and being left. because, historically, that's always what's happened.

it's especially hard when you have qualities that you think are neat and fun and special. and yet. you don't get to share them. you don't get to exist as if you are neat and fun and special. instead, you have to live up to this image of yourself that you've created. i've found in a lot of ways it's easier to slide into the mask of only being surface level deep. of molding myself into the 'expectation' laid upon me. goody two shoes. overachiever. loud. but it's just that, a mask. it's not real. but the part that hurts the most is that you keep waiting for someone to notice. and then they don't. and you convince yourself that you're just so good at it. but you can't make yourself the mask. even though i've tried.

you don't have to do law if you don't want to. i know it's easy for me to say, not having put money into a law degree. but i know what it's like to feel like your degree isn't really yours. you've got time. it's okay.

you're not alone in your struggle anon. i think fencing is hella cool and i hope you can find someone who you can chat with about it.

in terms of the shows, i told myself i was going. no matter what. and i knew i'd likely be going on my own. and then some of my lovely mutuals & friends here were like 👀. and i said ykw. fuck it. i have to travel anyway, why not do it across the ocean. and on top of that, some jokes turned real and now i'm going to iceland too. i understand waiting. but i know there's lots of people like you who are going to go to these shows and probably not know anyone. so if it's something you think you can handle, and it's financially possible, maybe think a little about going. i'm not sure when dnp are touring close to you, but you still have time. doing things for yourself is important. i think you'd have a lovely time. (and if you're stressed about the internal perception, no one needs to know you went, and no one there will know you. so it doesn't matter--at least, that's what i usually tell myself. they'll never see you again. so fuck it!)

best of luck, i hope we both can grow and thrive

[indecisive-dizzy]

Ramble about Eddie to your heart’s content, bestie :D

I’m honestly very interested in your ideas :3

Again, don’t be scared to just ramble in my ask box, I love hearing peoples ideas

AJDKKAGAJAKAK- THANK YOU <3 <3

I'm wailing rn /pos

My AU! Disabled Eddie!! Ok so he wasn't born with his disability, it came about later.

My Current story is that he had stroke in late middle/early high school! I have done research and Yes it is possible for teens and younger to have strokes. From what I recall it can be significantly worse for them compared to adult strokes

Eddie was left with permanent complications and is disabled bc of it. He has coordination, balance, and general mobility complications among a list of other post stroke effects. I just found the word I was looking for a few days ago to describe his mobility issues, it's Ataxia!

Eddie has to deal with bouts of muscle weakness on his right side which can effect his vision. He also gets vertigo a Lot and at this point dizziness is expected every time he stands.

He uses forearm crutches when he needs extra help walking bc he does have good days where he may not need them! But for longer distances he brings them bc he's better safe than sorry. He also has cane but he doesn't use it As much.

He also has a wheelchair that he Hates. He hates having to use it. But his Really horrible days leave him unable to stand, much less walk. He wishes he could just hide it somewhere and never think about it but alas. it's important.

He dislikes the wheelchair so much bc it makes him feel useless. He is Not! I want to clarify that wheelchair users are perfectly Capable and Independent! Eddie just has an issue with overachieving and working himself too hard. He wants to be helpful and do So Much but there are some things he can't do while in his wheelchair. He was stuck in a chair for months after his stroke and it was devastating back then. He has No good memories with a wheelchair so he continues to dislike using it.

Ok putting a read more bc I am not shutting up for a While

Relationships with the neighbors! Generally the same. Barnaby doesn't chase him bc that would be mean (? I can't think of a better way to describe it)

Sally is still Sally but she's specific on her mailman hate (lmao) to make sure Eddie and everyone else knows she's not faulting him for his disability.

Hmm yeah everything else is pretty much the same. I guess everyone is also more open about offering Eddie help from time to time if he looks like he needs an extra hand. They're not persistent or anything, but if they see him struggling to carry a package or two they're more inclined to help.

I still don't know how Howdy gets his shit. Honestly If Eddie is having a crutch or chair day,, Howdy just won't get his stock unless he gets it himself. I can't think of a way for Eddie to deliver all those heavy ass boxes.

He does ask people to pick up their packages occasionally too. He tries to deliver them all himself but it's not always possible. He offers a trolley they can use.

I want to talk about angst. So this is very specific, I'll try to keep it short. growing up, Eddie lived in a four bedroom house. two downstairs master bedrooms and two upstairs normal bedrooms. Before his stroke he was upstairs, his older brother in the other room, and his older sister in the bedroom downstairs.

Afterwards he had to move downstairs. His sister Hated this. She loved her room and her private bathroom and she was very prissy about it.

This snowballed into her just,, taking all her frustrations out on Eddie. He took Her Bedroom. He's getting all the attention. Her little brother was ruining everything.

Eddie was devastated by this. He went as far as to attempt to convince his parents to let them switch rooms again. He couldn't physically walk up the stairs most days but he just wanted his big sister to not hate him anymore.

Their relationship never fully recovered. As an adult Eddie will still find ways to blame himself and feel guilty. But he just can't bring himself to talk to her.

They used to be so close. She let Eddie experiment with her makeup, they talked about fashion and boys and she helped him so so much when he was questioning his sexuality.

and then it just, fell apart. But not quietly like a loose thread but rather a house that wasn't built quite right and the screws came loose one by one.

Eddie's memory gets really fuzzy when thinking that far back. but some of those memories are burned into his mind and he wishes he could forget them like he does everything else.