#;; { like i had to cut myself off }
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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dorothywonderland · 1 month ago
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BRO LITERALLY DOXXED HIMSELF TO THE CYCLOPS. he was asking to get jumped come on
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lil-lemon-snails · 5 months ago
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"I can't ignore what's under dancefloor boards, The rhythm of my heart a dead-as-disco beat, But I still move my feet, to slip out of this groove, I'm free" ~ 2econd 2ight 2eer, Will Wood, The Normal Album
I have been plagued with visions of LDR Sun every time I listen to this song and I NEEDED to get this out of my system @spadillelicious when do we get to smooch the boy pLEASE
v textless version and close ups under cut!! v
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stuckinapril · 8 months ago
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A big part of turning 21 and going through that whole thing really was realizing that the idealistic friendship dynamics I’ve always daydreamed over in my head don’t exist & that in reality most friendships you’ll cultivate in your life will be a series of compromises. And maybe like 1 to 3 ride or die friends at BEST that shit is so rare and it gets rarer the older I am
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anna-scribbles · 1 year ago
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thirteen update 🍂 🎹 🏠 👻
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chapter 2: November
chapter summary:
She was in a good mood. If she was ever going to take it well, it would be now.
“Maman, what if I went to school this year?”
excerpt:
“Heh.” Adrien flicked a finger beneath his chin and strutted the length of his bathroom floor, glancing at himself in the mirror. He twirled a rose—a red one, one he’d grabbed from the vase downstairs—between his fingers and then presented it to the mirror with a flourish.
“Haruhi!” he declared, “the spring of my heart surges upon the sight of your fresh smile, my love. My heart beats at the command of your drum! Your face is the fierce longing of my soul, and I present to you now this token of my lavish, undying—”
A sharp knock clicked against the bedroom door and Adrien froze, his hand still passionately hovering over his heart.
“Adrien?” Nathalie’s voice called, and Adrien—true to character, if he did say so himself—startled so hard that he slipped and fell onto his butt on the tile.
“Yeah?” he called, hastily pulling himself up and trying to find a place to set down the rose.
Nathalie peeked her head through the bathroom door and took him in, his rumpled hair and the too-small blue blazer he’d saved in the back of his closet for occasions such as…this.
“You have a guest,” she said flatly, and Adrien could not for the life of him figure out whether she was making fun of him.
She left before he could decide, and then it was only a matter of seconds before his bathroom door was thrown all the way open and a blonde ponytail bobbed into view.
“Adrikins!” Chloé crashed into him, wrapping him up in a hug that nearly knocked him over again. “It’s been way too long. You’ve been neglecting me. Aw, did you get me a rose?” She plucked it from his hands and then scrunched up her nose. “Ew, is this real?”
“As real as the current that springs from the well of my heart,” Adrien invented, and Chloé frowned at him like he’d just spoken Greek. “Nevermind.”
She looked him up and down and scrunched her nose up even more. “What did you do to your hair?”
Adrien frowned at his reflection in the mirror and pushed his hair further over to the side.
“I was trying to make it look cool.” He’d been trying to make it look like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club.
“It looks like you just rolled out of bed.”
read on ao3
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it-came-autumnally · 3 months ago
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This line is extremely funny (motherly??? hello??) but also it just reminds me of why the Minori & Airi dynamic makes me want to explode (positive). Long essay post under the cut.
Even though she's only a year older, Airi sees so much of her past self in Minori -- she knows what it's like to be an outsider in their industry, to be someone who's faced rejection for simply not possessing the innate “idol aura” that people like Haruka and Shizuku have. She’s not like them; and neither is Minori. Having a dream is great, but you can't become an idol purely out of desire. This is expressed very directly in the digest animation (which condenses the MMJ main story): "Just because you want something to happen doesn't mean it will."
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Screenshots from MORE MORE JUMP - Journey to Bloom: [HOPE].
Airi's resigned herself to the fact that she's stuck in her role as a variety show entertainer, even though being an idol was her real dream. And, after seeing her own fate, she bluntly tells Minori that the other's passion isn't enough for her to successfully break into the industry. Despite this, Minori isn’t discouraged from her path; after all, she'd already been rejected 50 times. In her own words: she has faith -- something Airi has almost lost.
But Airi hasn't lost it completely. After some reminders from Shizuku, she reluctantly agrees to watch Minori's practices and give her some advice. It's a small ask, but one means a lot to Minori -- which Airi knows, and she's willing to give Minori a chance.
Minori has the chance to return the favor when Airi goes to confront Cheerful*Days. Even when Haruka warns her about the ugliness she's about to see, she isn't swayed. In her own words: she "care[s] too much for Momoi". Not just as a fan, but a friend* now, too.
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Screenshots from the MORE MORE JUMP! main story chapter 11. *friend is a bit of a loose term here but Minori does know Airi personally by this point. Not as well as Shizuku, but better than she used to.
The affirmation of being an idol that Minori gives is huge for Airi. After being constantly denied her identity as an idol from both her managers and peers, hearing this from the girl who she had accidentally dismissed is perhaps the most powerful thing she could have heard in that moment. It's clear that Minori hasn't been disillusioned in the slightest even after seeing all the resentment and anger, and despite everything, she still believes in Airi, and her ability to spread hope as an idol.
After all that happens in the main story, Minori's presence becomes a non-negotiable part of MMJ. She is, after all, the final bit of glue that brought them together as a group. In Time to Re:Start! (Airi 1), Haruka, Airi, and Shizuku all make it extremely clear that they refuse to let their group split up. We see how Airi takes this a step further:
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Screenshots from Chapter 4 of Time to Re:START!
Notably, she's willing to go back to variety programs and talent work if it means that MORE MORE JUMP! can stay together (even though doing so means that she probably would be extremely busy and have less time to do "real" idol work!)
Since Airi's offer is rejected here, we don't see the consequences of this negotiation come to fruition, but it's certainly not an offer she makes lightly. Note that Airi 2 hasn't happened yet; she still hasn't fully made peace with how her role as Happy Everyday took time away from her as "Airi Momoi the idol". Despite how painful it would be her to reprise as that role after resolving to become an "regular" idol again, Airi still makes this request as a last resort, because she would put herself through something she doesn't want rather than sacrifice Minori's dream to be an idol. This isn't something that the rest of MMJ would agree to, of course, but this cements a trend in Airi's behavior -- namely, her desire to protect Minori from the thorns of the idol industry that she's had to go through. Her Colorful Fes card gives some insight into this, where she encounters the younger version of herself (Little Airi).
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Screenshots from "To You Who Wants To Be An Idol" Side Story 2.
The way Airi treats her literal younger self mirrors the way she treats Minori at the start of the MMJ main story. Even though she knows better than anyone how much being called a "tomboy" hurt her younger self, Airi still calls her that on accident. This is extremely similar to how she dismisses Minori upon their first meeting -- she of all people should know how hurtful it is, but she does it nonetheless. This time, however, she doesn't need Shizuku to remind her of her mistake, and quickly rectifies it -- a testament to how she's changed since the events of the main story.
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Still Airi's ColorFes card story 2. Sorry for the spam of screenshots from this one I love this card way too much
Airi imparts the lesson she learned from Minori to Little Airi: "tomorrow will always be a better day." She shares the hope that Minori (and the rest of MMJ) shares, something she directly says she's grateful for. Meeting Minori has changed her for the better, and also allowed for her finally continue on her path towards being a "real" idol -- one that never gives up.
By the time Airi 3 happens, MMJ have taken off as online streamers. People have started to accept Minori as an idol -- but she's still a newbie when compared to the rest of the group, and lacks the same training that her fellow idols have. Nobody is more keenly aware of this than Minori herself. While she's initially practicing on her own, Airi is quick to understand what Minori's issue is, as its one that she's dealt with herself. Yet again, it comes back to seeing her past behaviors in Minori's - she's gone through the experience of trying to emulate the "idol aura," so she knows doing so is a waste. She wants to save Minori the time and effort that it took for her to learn these lessons, so that Minori is able to hasten her path towards finding the "best way to shine".
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Screenshots from Chapter 6 of "Chasing The Sparkle Beyond the Blue Sky"
The other really interesting thing is how Airi tells Minori her to not put herself down -- and yet Airi does the same to herself! She needs Shizuku to reaffirm her status as a true idol and tell her the same things that Airi herself tells Minori. She's been able to relearn how to inspire others, but still needs help when it comes to having that faith in herself.
This event is a testament to how much the two of them have matured since the main story, while also showing where they still have more room to grow. The two of them still have some doubts about whether they "deserve" to be idols, but it's something that they're both working through, together with each other as well as the rest of MMJ.
In regards to Airi trying to shield Minori from going through the troubles she did, it comes into the spotlight yet again during Airi 4:
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Screenshots from Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 of "Friendship Rebuilt"
This time, we see this behavior explicitly stated: "I don't want her to experience what I did back then". Minori is her own person, and Airi respects her ability to make her own decisions, but she can't help but see her past self in the other, even after how far they've come. She's worried; Minori may be strong, but Airi wants to make sure that she can avoid having to go through the same pain she did.
This all comes full circle then, when Airi excitedly talks about her upcoming school trip to Kyoto.
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Screenshots from the "I'm Excited Too" (Pandemonium/Spirited Affair 2*) side story 1.
After constantly being the one looked after, Minori finally gets another chance to be happy for Airi. For once, Airi doesn't have to sacrifice her own happiness for work, and for that, she's glad. It's the least she can do for the girl who's been protecting her all this time, and its a step towards Minori truly becoming an equal to the idols she's looked up to her whole life.
MMJ as a whole unit is about spreading hope and joy -- more specifically, about sharing hope and joy. The reason both Minori and Airi decide to become idols in the first place is because they were cheered up by idols in their childhood, and wanted to do the same for others. Minori is able to finally become an idol herself after she helps Airi (as well as Shizuku and Haruka) regain their own hope and passion; Airi does her best to guide Minori down a path that is as least painful as possible in return. MMJ's stories focus so much on the idea of paying it forward it truly drives me crazy to see how Minori and Airi's dynamic really embodies that ideal, where Minori will never stop uplifting her friends while Airi always looks out for them.
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crookedfivefingers · 17 hours ago
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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hballegro · 4 months ago
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alan alda storytime
the full story from one of the screenshots of my previous post.
story begins with my archaeology professor showing a slide of alan alda in the early 2000s holding some mammoth bones and asks the class if anyone recognizes him. i had watched some MASH with my mother when i was little and had also seen the movie The Object of My Affection, so i raised my hand and said it was alan alda. he lit up and said yes, it was, and told the rest of the class he used to be on this old show, and that when we got more into the bioanthro side of things, remind him to 'tell his alan alda story'.
about 2 months later, we are in bioanthro, and i remind him. he gets excited and says he included slides to talk about it.
[rest under cut]
he tells us how he had just moved to a new city, and he had taken a university job in order to get insurance for his new family [which he didnt get but thats neither here or there]. he gets news that his job is going to be working with Scientific American Frontiers, hosted by the one and only Alan Alda. my prof was thrilled, he loves MASH, and while he specifically wouldnt be involved in the process [being a presenter, working with alan, etc] he was allowed to be around incase they needed help.
i dont know the specific episode, or if it can be found anywhere, but the topic was early man and tools, and how there were mammoth bones that specifically had cuts that could only be made with tools, not by teeth from an animal. they had finished filming for the day and just needed B-roll of some lions at the local zoo chewing some bones [part of the experiment], and alan got a call. he asked if he could head out now, because he needed to get back to his hotel now, and the call had been important. the producers said sure, go ahead, and alan asked if someone could give him a ride.
my professor, having the chance to actually spend time with someone he idolized, and being a stupid late 20s-something, volunteered immediately. stupid why? well, i said he'd just moved there. he didnt know where the hell anything was, and he didnt have GPS available to him, he was just really excited. so they get in the car and start driving.
as i said in my previous post, alan alda had about 20 minutes with this random guy, and found out pretty quickly that he was an archaeologist, and the amazing topic of conversation that he picked was the [then new] theory that we developed agriculture specifically to make booze, and that the rest of the stuff was more or less a biproduct. which is pretty on-brand honestly.
after a while, alan catches on to the fact that this guy clearly has no idea where the hell hes going, and that they've been driving in circles around the city for a while now. he [reportedly very politely] said that actually, this here was his stop, and thanked him for the ride. he then most likely called a taxi that actually knew where it was going, and got to his hotel.
turns out the call was about The Aviator! the call was important because he learned it was confirmed he in it and they needed him to get over there.
its not a glamourous story, but its the only story i got. my prof reported he was a funny guy, and despite slightly kidnapping the poor man for a while, he was the picture of kindness and personability. and clearly he likes telling the story and it left an impression, because he took time out of our already-short lecture to tell a class of 20-somethings that had no idea who Alan Alda was about it.
sorry this is so verbose i dont know how to be short lmao
#oh yeah#this show is hosted by a guy from an old TV show#mash#mash 4077#mashblogging#alan alda#m*a*s*h#hawkeye pierce#this is the same prof that organized an off-campus field trip thing#and when i said i didnt have a way to get to the place he just. offered to give me a ride#this was a class of like 200 people and just 'well if you need to get there and dont mind a messy truck-'#A+ person overall. gave me a piece of obsidian debitage from a flintknapping demonstration#even babyproofed it for me beforehand. still cut myself on it [i broke a tiny piece off on accident and made it sharp again]#also that moment of raising my hand to go 'alan alda meethinks' was horrifying#silent room looking at this picture of this dude handling mammoth bones and im like 'i can identify this old man. maybe.'#wasnt even sure. ive rewatched MASH now but at the time it was foggy#wasnt even the first time hes shown up in my schooling! im going into psych and the bastard has appeared twice#that episode where they cut the guys corpus callosum. imagine being a 17 yo in a room of 15 yos#[i took the class late] and silently freaking out cause you know who that is but no one else does and then the teacher says#and then a year later being in college in your first psych class and the SAME VIDEO gets played. wild shit#anyway that makes 3 years in a row that at least 1 class has had alan alda in it. if it gets to May next year and he hasnt shown up#im gonna make him show up somehow. dissertation on how hawkeye pierce is a good example of PTSD in media#be the change you want to see in the world
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supjello · 2 years ago
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"Your son?" "My apprentice, but I think of him like a son."
#pentiment#andreas maler#casper ziegler#my art#it took me about two seconds to go full 'if anything happens to my beloved casper i'm killing everyone in this town and then myself'#'and then no one will be around to solve this murder mystery because we'll ALL be dead'#(some spoilers to at least where im at in the game>)#my andreas loved his son but found no love with his wife#(though he wanted to. he really wanted to.)#drifting off alone and finding this kind of 'what if' when he took casper on and began travelling#and it wasn't fair to anyone involved. not his wife who had to face loss alone#not andreas who was trying to cover up the hole august left with another family's son#not casper (though he wouldn't know this- since he didn't realize the extent andreas really cared about him like a father)#but most things went unspoken and most consequences unseen#so there was just this deep undercurrent of silent fatherly love and worry beneath every interaction#between the two#and it KILLS me even though i know 99% of this was me reading between the lines they let me choose#i wonder if my andreas kind of secretly wished casper's family didn't make it through the turmoil#it's a fucked up thought and i think he'd feel extremely guilty if he ever caught himself thinking it#but there's got to be some extreme dread there about the idea of the apprenticeship ending and this boy he considers a son cutting ties#and really having to face going back to his wife who he (rightfully) feels guilty about leaving.#even if she never loved him#and even if only pain was there to return to#ANYWAY#I FEEL TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT ANDREAS MALER#edit: guess who just completed the game. guess who’s own art is now making herself SAD
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months ago
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this could be kuwameshi if you guys would like. take my hand and trust me
#yyh spoilers in tags#like major spoilers ok#which ig i dont usually tag but whatever#the if i had to choose between the world and you it's you thing happened. and it was KUWABARA like hhhhgghh#yusuke makes him forget his honor code sometimes and i need you guys to see that with me#bc it makes me wanna fling myself into the ocean over and over again#kuwabara literally is like you need to be alive bc otherwise im nothing idek who i am. please let me punch you#and he wails this multiple times#and yusuke would burn down the world himself if he thought it'd help his friends we all know that#and doomed by the narrative? mmm with the ever escalating world ending nature of being a spirit detective thats kinda there#throw in the sudden demon-human age gap post yusuke death 2 and you've got some narrative dooming in a way#but not enough for me to well and truly call them doomed by the narrative#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#yusuke urameshi#ofc i can handle you at your worst thats basically you all the time is Very kuwa to yusuke#and maybe we can figure out what the hell ur problem is over dinner sometime is Very yusuke to kuwa#actually i should draw that. or make it a textpost or something#but like turning up the protectiveness/possessiveness thats already there with them in line with the whole#'ive watched you die' trauma they Both have means that like. i think they would Need to have each other around for a period of time#in the wake of sensui's bs perhaps. and then yusuke cuts it all off and they start to get a bit healthier about it. hm#i think about them all the time it's like if typicsl shonen rival/bestie homo-ness was kind of scary and painful#like they love each other but the ways they hurt each other and hurt over each other drive me fucking insane
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simgerale · 8 months ago
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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iiboronii · 5 months ago
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One time in eighth grade my civics teacher said "you become good at the thing you do every day" and I've never been the same since.
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im-still-watching-anime · 3 days ago
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i LOVE how we can always rely on atsushi to acknowledge how impressive akutagawa is anytime he does anything
#bsd#shin soukoku#bsd sskk#the newest chapters were sending me back to hero vs criminal#and how shiny eyed atsushi was throughout all of it#which also had the unfortunate element of reminding me of my rage at the anime for cutting all of it😒#BUT#not the point rn#because holy shit#it’s atsushi’s inability to acknowledge his own strength#versus how easily he acknowledges akutagawa’s#like i know it’s the whole POINT but GOD ITS THE WHOLE POINT!!!#like i loveeeee love LOVE how it works with sskk’s dynamic#but ALSO just for akutagawa#because it really emphasizes how much his inferiority complex is rooted in himself in dazai#when every person who comes after finds him ridiculously strong#like atsushi being wowed constantly#the agency considering him a flee on sight#higuchi and the black lizard’s respect (+more lol shout out higuchi) for him#the way he IMMEDIATELY impresses fukuchi and how fukuchi spends that fight scoping his ass out#which again the anime CUT SO MUCH OF—#like ooohhhh you are something special SPECIAL#which like all that does great to show akutagawa’s own warped views of himself#but ALSO it does great to make sure the audience keeps him on the same level as atsushi and doesn’t get too blinded by the protagonist#just GOD i could talk about how akutagawa is balanced all day#how crazy it is that ATSUSHI so often is doing the balancing like ooouuuuugggghhhhh#okay cutting myself off sorry bsd just makes me crazy#bsd spoilers#bsd manga spoilers#ish🤷‍♀️
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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
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was so over and now am so back
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tearfest · 1 month ago
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sorry to log on n rant but i need to rant
#tbd.#ooc.#cw complaining#ignore the tags if u dont want to see how my life is going shdfhsf#so im doing my masters yeah#and im like. 75% thru#shouldve been done last month#but bc of the year ive had my uni adviser was rlly nice and sorted a way to extend my student status for another year#to get my dissertation done#like i did my 4 essays n now its just dissertation time#n i was supposed to start it now n get booked in with my mentor n stuff but i cant fucking log into the website#bc u need a MFA#and the MFA app my uni uses wont acknowledge me bc i have a different phone bc my phone broke#and a different number bc my phone contract got cut off#so idk what to do lol i cant log in and do anything#ive rang the IT desk for help 59w9er3424234 times#and everytime i get thru to the actual line n im taken off hold .. they hang up on me#idk if its a system error or my phone bc its a shit old one#but i cant do anything#and my universal credit claim got closed#non uk oomfs its a benefits system#n they help u with money to pay bills whether ur looking for work or unfit to work which is what my doctor said i am bc#my mental health and physical health combines to make me a super loser#n he thinks i might try to K word myself if i take too much on at once after eveerything#like i cant even sit and grieve my dad that died not even 6 months ago yet because i have to much shit to fucking do#like i cant afford to liven now#i cant pay my bills. they keep bouncing and coming back worse#i have debt collectors coming @ me#i am stuck in catch 22 man like not even my support workers can help me rn#and im very lucky that i own my own home bc of my car accident when i was 15 lol but everyone is just telling me to sell it
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