#/srs it doesnt exist

[walnutcookie]

how did you get osha certified

Osha certified me and well...the rest is history

[vilmsstuff]

Omg i hate coloring sometimes

Anyways take some candycorn fanart !!

[summercosmos]

pokemon au fanart bcccccc i have to be mentally ill all by myself in this house. anyways drawing this made me realize altaria really does look a lot like a big stardew valley chicken

[the-npd-culture-is]

NPD culture is defending this account because people are stupid and jealous. Don't like it? Good, leave. This is our (fans of this account) little space on the Internet and you can actually just go if you don't like it. If you can't seem to stop yourself from harassing and stalking strangers because they did research on public accounts and publicly linked accounts for their own comfort and peace of mind thats kinda weird get therapy or something.

There's a huge difference between stalking + harassing an account and researching an account with obvious links between several. If someone goes against my DNI or boundaries of course I'm gonna block them and even likely make my own account for representation.

Idk kinda weird to be mad that someone wanted to make their own account to have representation they enjoy

-Mayhem

i actually legit don't know what to say- this really means a lot to me, thank you/srs pos

[cocajimmycola]

sorry for not posting icons. forgot i existed

[rainbowgod666]

Internet: good fucking heavens can you PLEASE get off me

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

I’m going to preface this by saying i am against faking disorders and therefore anti endogenic “systems” but can you genuinely explain why you believe that endos are valid./srs i just wanna know your thought process

- the vast majority of endogenic systems arent claiming to have a dissociative disorder. and the ones who do arent claiming to have no trauma whatsoever, just that the trauma didnt cause their system to form. (or theyre being really pedantic about the word "usually" in the dsm5 but i can only think of one person who does that). i dont think that counts as faking a disorder.

- i also dont think its hurting anyone for people to have an experience thats vaguely similar to a disorder without having said disorder.

- i try to respect people's beliefs, even if i dont understand or agree with them. even if i didnt believe endogenic plurality was a thing, i still would respect people who do believe it. because in my opinion, it harms nobody. im not going say that im anti-past life therians just because i dont believe in reincarnation, or put anyone religous on a dni because i dont think that any higher power exists.

- and speaking of: werewolf therians arent faking clinical lycanthropy. undeadkin arent faking cotards syndrome. so following that logic, nontraumagenic systems arent faking did/osdd. [I am not trying to use either of these disorders as a "gotcha", I am just explaining the mindset I have. But if anybody with clinical zooanthopy or cotards syndrome would like me to delete this part, please let me know and i will do so immediately. /srs]

- the brain is weird. multiple identities/selves/whatever without childhood trauma probably isnt the weirdest.

- also i might be misremembering but arent theyre multiple authors who have said that they can actually talk to and/or hear their characters? i highly doubt every single author who has experienced that has did and introjects of their characters and just doesnt realize it.

i hope at least some of this makes sense 👍

[grecoromanyaoi]

ok decided to post this publicly. the current name is 'when in rome' but im not sure i like it. it will ideally b a sitcom/comedy but unfortunately i keep putting in terrible and horrendous things into the plot that make it kinda hard to b a strictly comedy. like theyre a rich family in 1st century bc rome (60 bc to b exact). theyre imperialists. they have slaves. im trying to b as respectful as i can + trying to b comical so more under the cut. the characters r v basic for now.

so basically its abt the avianii, a rich patrician family. the parents are lucius avianus honorinus (sr) and cantilia. they have 5 children- lucius (jr), tiberius, aviana the elder, gaius and aviana the younger.

Lucius Avianus Honorinus (jr) is one of the main characters. he is kind of a loser.  He hates doing what he’s told. He hates not fitting in, but he also hates everything fitting in requires, because it's just not him. He’s neurotic, obsessed with getting positive reassurance. He can’t find it in society or his family, so he looks for it in sexual partners. He wants to be loved, to be desired, to be appreciated in any way. He’s desperate for it. Wants to please his parents and society but knows he never truly will. He wants to be a poet. His poetry is not great. hes got a working class greek immigrant bf and theyre being weird and gay abt it. he doesnt identify as nonbinary bc that label or idea didnt rly exist yet, but if he were alive today hed probably identify as nonbinary.

Lysandros (said bf) is realistic, sometimes borderline pessimistic. Grounded in reality. He’s sarcastic (deadpan snarker). He’s hilarious. He is a stonemason? smith? goldsmith? baker? builder? He’s good at his job, whatever it is. His wife, Laodike, and mother are back in Boeotia, and he sends them money. He doesn’t particularly like his wife, and she doesn’t like him either. They have a kid, Aristokles, who Lysandros figures isn’t his.

Aviana (the elder) is also a main character. she is a bit odd. Kind of a goofball. She says whatever she thinks all the time, never once stopping to think whether it’s appropriate or what the consequences will be. An autism diagnosis will do her a great good. She’s far from stupid, but people often think she is because they don’t understand the way she thinks. Often oblivious to situations around her, but sometimes understands/figures out more than she lets on. she dreams of a great love, but gets married to a man who turns out to b rly shitty and abusive, so she cheats on him w Adiantunnos, her gaulish (gaelic? idk. from gaul) bf who actually respects her (who is the only good parisian perhaps to this day).

Tiberius Avianus Honorinus is way too into the military and makes it his entire personality bona dea Tiberius shut uppppp nobody wants to hear abt ur siege in germania for the umpteenth time. He definitely takes after his father (i need to continue this im lazy)

Gaius Avianus Honorinus doesn’t talk at all. He is a high support autistic, and very likely has some sort of an intellectual disability as well. He likes listening to music, but only to very specific music. He only likes women’s singing, not men’s singing. his siblings (aside from Tiberius) love him very much, but Diotima (enslaved character) is the only one who understands him and knows how to care for him.

Aviana (the younger) is like 9 so i havent really thought about her yet.

Cantilia is a bit of a bully. She wants all her children to present as perfect, and for them to look like the perfect family. The fact that she rarely cares about her children’s feelings, wants or needs, and even Gaius’ mere existence makes it impossible for her to present them as the perfect family. Often jealous and especially mean to young women in her husband’s vicinity, especially to Boudilatis (enslaved character), because he pays them more attention than he does her.

Lucius Avianus Honorinus (father) is high key a terrible person. He definitely has autism but he displays it in ways that pass it off as his “man traits”, for example how he talks about politics and the military almost nonstop. He doesn’t understand his wife nor his children and doesn’t care to. Can be very cruel to his wife and children, and even worse to the slaves. He wants his children to be perfect, and for his sons, when he says ‘perfect’ he means ‘just like him’. He is only proud of Tiberius because he follows in his footsteps and succeeds at a military career. He is very disappointed in Lucius, but claims that “at least he’s not Gaius”. Highly misogynistic and homophobic, and quite a womanizer.

im trying to avoid anything controversial n racist so im keeping all the enslaved characters "white" (not how they saw race but whatever), mostly greek and gaulish, which were v common. Diotima will probably b a main character. she is the oldest one, and practically raised the children. she doesnt give a fuck anymore. she literally says to lucius one time 'theres nothing ur parents can do to me that they havent already done' (after he said they would get mad at her). her father was a prominent scholar in Greece, and he named her after a character in plato's symposium. he and his family were enslaved after he tried to lead a rebellion against the romans. she is extremely intelligent and has a vast range of knowledge about philosophy, literature, history, etc. its just that nobody knows this bc they didnt care to ask.

[goldammerchen]

He will never be THE embassador or anything close to that of fucking course: that's not what nation-people do; bad fame, he was mf Prussia (and the GDR aka "too red"); stuck looking too young forever unless he's aging; too high profile for someone retired and who shouldn't be given a high horse either (???).

I can see him possibly working in diplomatic missions but has to be mid-ranging position at most... Talking about diplomatic missions, for the same reasons above I also don't see him in the United Nations (New York or other regional offices... I think Bonn has something too? lol), nor in Brussels for the EU (don't even think about the other important headquarters! LMAO)

Those ideas are still fun to explore, disregard my rant if you feel like it. This is just another post from me thinking Gilbert could be doing something else other than deteriorating inside Ludwig's house.

Extra: I found these JSTOR artitles when searching "prussian public servant": The Social Policies of Prussian Officials: The Bureaucracy in a New Light'; The Imaginary Universality of Particular Interests': The 'Tradition' of the Civil Service in German History I'll check them... someday.

HC/Idea I don't think I'll use, posting this for the shippers.

Now that Prussia is just a "retired" country, he could work in whatever embassy or consulate of your choosing *wink*. I assume he has the bureaucratic experience (prussian civil service tradition blah blah...) and he is a nerd so (could be translator too)....

[mr-damian-s-power]

Long ask ahead cause the things you said in your latest post are genuinely crazy 💀

First of all, you keep pointing out how witch/boiling isles society is so violent and so bad to their children as if humans arent the same?? Would you srs tell me that human society isnt awful to kids and that they arent also mistreated, not just individually but societally? Anything that happens in the demon realm, the human one also does in some way and neither is worse than the other. Belos himself straight up comes from a violent human group that used to hang women based on supersticions and nowadays, things arent that much better. I wont give any examples of irl events but it shouldnt be hard for you to think of some. The BI has its awful ppl and bad societal tendencies, humans do too so any argument that smh they are worse than us is just extremely laughable.

Second of all, we were literally shown that Belos was part of the reason why current BI society has issues. Society was more peaceful in Elsewhere and Elswhen and another very easy example is the scene in "Thems the breaks" where Terra, violent witch hired by Belos and put in the highest position, goes against child safety laws that Bump, another witch, brings up. Almost as if Belos, the bigot, purposefully used the worst of witch society to oppress the rest and encourage violence as the standard that gives you high positions (and ofc there would be bad ppl in witch society, every society does, human included) Almost as if some of it is the influence of the violent HUMAN bigot and not the isles being like that inherently or since the begining.

And lastly, even if the isles had a complicated history of war and conflicts which they most likely did cause every society, human or not has had such things, an outsider going there and dishing out "justice" isnt right in any way esp when hes one of the reasons for militarizing and worsening things by being a dictator and spending 400 years colonizing them. Belos, who decided to do this shit cause he was marinating in religious fanaticism and falsely said that witches are going after humans simply cause his brother made a choice to leave with one. Belos straight up kills humans who dont agree with his fanaticism and you gonna tell me he has a head on his shoulders that can decide if a whole nation should be erased just like that when hes the one who went there and colonized them eventho they werent bothering humans at all. The demon realm has existed for thousands of years without giving a single FUCK about the humans. Belos is a liar who was on a selfish quest to prove that hes right and you are here saying you wouldnt have felt bad if a "culture of killers" was eradicated.

By that logic, all of humanity should also die cause we arent better to our children, so many of us are violent and awful, every country on this planet commits at least one human rights violation at all times and persecutes at least one group through its laws and societal attitudes (and im being generous, its far more than one everywhere) Idk by what standard do you think witches are smh worse when its a human who went there and recruited the worst ppl in their society to do his bidding cause thats how awful dictatorships and cults work.

That doesnt mean everyone should die, do you realize how you sound when you say "genocide is bad BUT-"? That sentence should never include BUT esp when you are being extremely hypocritical in how you view witch society, acting like its worse than human one and falsely branding it as society of killers when so many of its current issues was Belos' violence coming into play.

And the irony is that, while the BI has its issues like every society esp one that was made worse by its leader who holds absolute divine power over these ppl, they are still more progressive than humans in many ways. No patriarchy, no homophobia, no transphobia. Humans come with every issue that witch society has ON TOP of the things I just listed.

I appreciate you being more civil this time around, but I'd like if you didn't put words in my mouth. I never for a second acted like Humans were in any way better than Witches. I am well aware that Humanity can show its evil side and turn people into monsters. I wasn't at all downplaying what real people have done.

Yeah, I was reminded that a lot of Witch society's issues were brought around by Belos, but the fact they paint the Isles in the Savage Ages as some sort of perfect utopia feels disingenuous to me. Reminds me too much of those Avatar films where the blue Aliens are a near-perfect society who live on a planet where all their needs have been met and are spiritually connected to the planet, where we are then supposed to hate the Humans who have had to persevere in a vicious environment. But we're not here to talk about that!

My original talking point was about how the Isles become 'neutered' with time. At first, it's this hostile land of monsters, where the very environment is out to kill you. It rains acid! Furniture is alive and will eat people. It would make sense that Witch society would turn out hardy and a bit apathetic, but they ignore that. Later in the series, like you said, child protection laws get brought up. Why would this world have that? Bump didn't step in to stop Boscha's bullying due to it 'not being fatal'.

Instead, all the blame is placed on Belos. Belos is the source of almost all evil in the Isles. Him getting revealed to be a Human then just feels, to me at least, like taking the blame off of the Witches. It feels just a touch preachy to me. Witch society was this perfect utopia with no racism, or sexism, or homophobia or anything negative until that mean Human showed up.

See, why couldn't the show have focused on this? How a society was brainwashed into thinking these things are fine? They weren't perfect in the past, but Belos brought out the worst in all of them and made them think they needed to be this to survive or to appease the Titan or whatever. You know, cult stuff!

And I know, I shouldn't have used such harsh language or labelled them as a 'culture of killers' due to the examples we're given. No culture or people is 'evil', and genocide should never be a solution.

[quillkiller]

wait I had a Sirius Jr thought - I know you said he’s a year (?) ahead of the golden trio but he’s in the same house as Draco how would they interact?? They’re some kind of fucked up brother cousins aren’t they?

THEY ARE AND ME AND KARA HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT PLENTY….

so. sirius jr is a bit of a dick, a lot like sirius sr but a lot more confused and it takes him a bit longer to fully grow out of the pureblood ideals. <- it’s been drilled into him since he was born and he never had the surroundings that were introduced to sirius at age 11. he’s still a bit of a prick when wolfstar finds him !!

this results in a very hostile relationship when they grow up, very much hating each other out of pure envy and family fued type stuff. it’s like sirius sr said, blacks thought of themselves as royals, and the blacks are/were a lot more respected than say the malfoys. draco is a malfoy, sirius jr is a black. draco learns narcissism from his father, sirius jr learns superiority from his mother-father, and so draco and sirius jr are always at each other’s throats. draco always wanting to prove himself, wanting respect, always competing with his cousin vs. sirius jr who isn’t trying to prove himself, already has respect and isn’t competing with his cousin. sirius jr is a lot more self assured even if he fucking hates himself and his family and his home. <- same could be argued for draco but draco never learned self assurrance. people respect the malfoy name, sure, but he’s not a black. sirius jr doesn’t feel the need to prove himself while draco does, and sirius uses this against him. also super interesting to me that neither of them have siblings……. both being entitled only-kids and heirs being #Enemies and staring each other down whenever their families get together…..

me and kara also talked about a possible potential earlier redemption for draco because of sirius jr’s existence…because sirius jr starts healing when wolfstar takes him in.. and maybe he starts to slowly reach out to draco…? like why would draco listen to dumbledore or harry or anyone that isn’t his family when hes an angsty teenager and a malfoy and the dark lord comes back. but now he HAS family. and i think there’s potential there to possibly give draco an earlier redemption. wouldn’t that be so hot and sexy #teamwolfstarhomeforpurebloodcastaways

either way, if draco doesn’t get an early redemption, i do think their relationship improves either way after the 2nd war (if sirius jr doesnt die. <- blame kara.) and they finally become family… 🤍

[feminisedlad]

we know that vagina =/= girl, and dick =/= guy, so why do we act that way about SRS? if some cis guy wants a pussy, that doesnt make him a closeted trans woman. if some cis woman wants a dick, that doesnt make her a closeted trans man.

also i feel like, just typing this, some trans ppl would get feverishly angry over the existence of either of these ppl. transmedicalism is stupid, trans purity testing is stupid, all of it is stupid. i want more people to get sex changes, not fewer

[darishima]

bonesy here ! do the character ask thing with either ummmm aubrey omori (because you said shes you coded)(i know you havent finished the game im just thinking lots about it becuase im still formulating my response) or midari (because i know youre so abnormal abt her dari) or stan pines (because you keep posting about him) -🦴

hehe hiii bonesy. thats just your name now i guess. change it legally thats the rules

sidenote but the other day (yesterday actually) i was on a discord call w my friend and mentioned offhandedly something like "oh yeah theres an anon that regularly sends me stuff and the other day they asked--" and then they went "oh yeah i know i've seen bonesy asks" LIKE LMFAO.. bonesy truly just is your name now. and all my mutuals will know of you

anyway. hmm. for aubrey (please note i have played like 30 minutes of omori):

sexuality headcanon: lesbian gender headcanon: transfem aubrey is good but to me thats a she/they cis girl a ship i have with said character: AUBREY X KIM, EASY a BROTP I have with said character: kel and aubrey 4ever a NOTP I have with said character: aubrey x any man. any of them. especially sunny. sunburn makes me want to throw up and i dont respect anyone who ships it sorry. i pray youre not a sunburn shipper bonesy or i'll hafta kick you out of my inbox /j a random headcanon: hmm. she plays guitar or bass general opinion of said character: i like her :3 i'll like her a lot more when i actually . yk. finish omori.

also since my omori knowledge is limited i consulted my wonderful best friend-partner-mortal enemy @/stariacht, my resident omori expert (who im playing it with) and when i asked about his general opinion he said: "she’s such a good character and the omori fandom not only has no idea how to interpret her but they dumb her down so much and i refuse to talk to anyone about aubrey unless they prove to me they aren’t stupid LMAO" and to that i say he is right. and i agree

midari, i have some OPINIONS ABOUT WHICH WILL MAKE SOME PEOPLE ANGRY BUT IM OBJECTIVELY RIGHT:

sexuality headcanon: lesbian, only sexually involved with men for her own gain/pleasure, not actually attracted to them gender headcanon: i think outwardly she presents as a cis girl cause she doesnt really care what people think about her but internally she's like, genderqueer nonbinary, she/it/they, but she wouldnt bother coming out beyond occasional offhanded mentions of "not being a girl" a ship i have with said character: MIDARI X SAYAKA!!! also midari x yumeko because im WHAT? DELUSIONAL ! [im schizophrenic i can say that] a BROTP I have with said character: midari x runa, weird little freak creatures <3 a NOTP I have with said character: this is about to piss some people off . but yuriko x midari is my notp. i dont HATE IT necessarily its just.. such a nothingburger.. yuriko doesnt have enough characterization in canon for me to care about her beyond the version of yuriko that exists in my head so i dont want midari with her. theyre friends though and midari likes her. also midari x ryota is so disgusting it makes me want to slit my throat general opinion of said character: me irl /srs. my one true love. my world, my everything, the center of the universe, the point that my entire life and identity revolves around. without midari i am nothing. without midari i do not exist

stan pines:

sexuality headcanon: he feels kinda aroace i cant lie but maybe pansexual. or bisexual. or, more likely, he has no idea what any of the labels mean and just calls himself whatever will serve him in the moment LMAO gender headcanon: just a guy. jus some dude a ship i have with said character: none, really ? maybe stan x eda clawthorne cause its funny, but nobody from gf a BROTP I have with said character: stan and soos !!! a NOTP I have with said character: stan x bill. eugh a random headcanon: he secretly feeds waddles leftovers or scraps under the table at dinner. he loves that damn pig general opinion of said character: looove him. love him dearly. wish he was my uncle...

[lunar1an]

the problem with the otherverse is that it's very much split between the desire to remain ambiguous and lacking in definitive truth, and in providing solid boundaries and labels so that it's an easily digestible setting with boxes to sort a given fan-practitioner/Other into and to make little tables to generate tabletop games with.

i think like...pact implies that labels aren't the end of the world, despite rose sr's little warning. we just have the perspective of blake who isn't reading the books. but rose does tell us what ghouls are, and talks about how a bloody mary is a whole subtype of Others following similar patterns. even mrs lewis is like "does this look like a faerie? yes? it probably is". but all of that is comparatively minor because the lore is used as a supplement to the story and it's more "tidbits to help blake out". the sense of mystery still holds and the setting manages to feel wide and open.

pale tries this, sometimes. it talks about outdated terminology, or how practitioner books can be biased or badly written. it has the 100YL mystery and implies avery doesnt have a perfect understanding of the universe. it sort of tries to quarantine its bullshit by implying different regions of the world handle things differently too.

except ultimately it fails because for every attempted nod towards ambiguity it has three lore dumps saying "these are the types of curses that exist" or "these are the types of cursed magic items that exist" or "these are the universal measurements for glamour". or bombshells like "Innocents retroactively rewrite history with science". a given practitioner/Other is often a spokesperson for their whole field and how everyone practices or views it rather than just...a guy who happens to use a particular system for understanding a world that's much bigger than them.

there's like...definitely a balance when it comes to lore. it's not that i don't like having things revealed to me. it's not like i don't enjoy having new information to use to generate new ideas. but at some point when the lore stops feeling like an organic part of a world and more like mandatory entries in a table/list it quickly becomes irritating.

[cheolhub]

Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)

p sure i did this just a few days ago but everyone knows i adore my moots so i dont mind doing it again :)

it’s kinda long! (took me a literal hour and a half to write) and i tried to get everyone i talk to on a tri-weekly basis at least 😅

@ncteez i know you said to pick what i like most abt my moots, but i love everything about hon from the way she looks (she’s literally the most gorgeous person ever— she still owes me a selfie now that im thinking abt it) right down to her core. 🥹 the only mark stan who has ever walked the planet actually,,, i love hearing about her sex dreams and i love the way that she gives the best advice bc she only wants the best for me and how genuine she is. I LOVE HER & she makes me a better person every day, seriously ⭐️ i <3 my wife

@jeonghantis 🩵 there are about a million and three things that i can write for keir but i think the thing i love most about them is that… i can just be sar with them, i never have to worry about being judged for the things i like bc 9 times out of 10, keir feels the same way. like who else am i gonna talk about [redacted] with chan with ??? or [ censored beeping for 10 minutes straight ] with sangyeon ?? my jeonghannie, my bff, my ride or die <3 (they also hate everyone that i hate and watch my instagram lives even tho im super annoying which means i am going to die for them)

@onlyseokmins literally just love elv’s personality. she has this infectious positivity and it makes me so happy to be alive like dhahdh,,, every time i see her on the dash reblogging the silliest things or cute pics or even talking to other people, it makes me smile so hard like idk she’s so bright PLUS she’s resident dk lover on tumblr like there is no one else. tumblr user onlyseokmins is quite literally the only dk stan alive

@lovelyhan ok two things i love the most — one: kai’s writing will always get me out of a reading slump. i re-read their fics an ungodly amount of times, like i actually need to be blocked by them ( i definitely didn’t re-read inflection point again TODAY on my lunch break, nope! i didn’t! 😂……) TWO: kai is literally so sweet and funny and we don’t really talk much, but from what i know, they’re a really great person and anyone would be lucky to have them as a moot! ^^

@agustdiv1ne ash and i are actually moving to alaska and we’re gonna be neighbors /srs,,, srsly tho, i told her this already, but she’s an amazing listener and she puts up with my shitty texting and i seriously cant appreciate that more 😢 she’s so wonderful and lovely and my favorite yoongi stan to ever exist and i will shield her from the heat. don’t worry, ash, 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚.

@soonigiri MELODY <333 the soonyoung to my cheol!! she’s also someone i enjoy seeing on my dash sm!! she’s literally an angel and it’s so endearing to see her in her engene era. like i look forward to seeing jungwon on my dash every day /srs — OKAY ACTUALLY, ik im an awkward freak but i would love to talk to you more bc i think we have a lot in common T-T

@etherealyoungk SKYE i know we interact like every 3 weeks but each of them do really mean a lot to me <33 i think she’s really kind-hearted and i get really happy when i see her jn my inbox from time to time!! it’s like a nice little surprise which i love 🥹💝 it’s like finding a rice krispie at the bottom of my lunch box (if you don’t know the feeling, think immense joy)

@rubyreduji JJ THE COOLEST GUY EVER. he’s such a joy to talk to and i love that he’s lowkey my hypeman. every time i run a concept or idea by him, he makes me feel really good about it and i adore that. he’s so supportive i love him and i need to hug him so bad actually 🥹 (i give good bear hugs jj, pls let me hug u) also jj doesnt care that im a weirdo awkward freak and i have to commend him for that too ☺️

@toruro mikalicious always know what to say which is what i love the absolute most abt them now. when im in a shit mood, she knows exactly how to make me feel better and always helps me take my mind off of it. she’s so cute and wonderful inside and out and i really am so eternally grateful to have her as a mutual and a friend <33 also, mika, this is my formal apology for being the world’s worst texter 😅

@gyuswhore EM THE COOLEST PERSON EVER. i love her so much actually. she and i just started talking and i have to say, she is just so,,,, amazing? idk, i dont have the words for it. she was so kind to me when reading my wonu fic and she just read over my new cheol wip and she has given me such great feedback and im so appreciative of her!! + sending pics is lowkey my love language and she lets me send her the most random shit (my pc collection, my room, etc.) i love her 💝

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast MY FAV JOKSTER dbehdh talking to rj is seriously a breath of fresh air lol I LOVE her humor and she understands my humor. ALSO….. something about rj’s writing also does something to me… like i remember i was super depressed while i had strep and on a brief tumblr hiatus and i came onto the app for just a second and saw that she’d posted … mean dom!chan… i remember reading it and crying bc she GETS IT. no one gets me like rj (i forgot to rb now that im thinking abt it but im gonna get on that) my fave dinonara <3

@heesbaby TUMBLR USER HEESBABY SINGLE HANDEDLY GOT ME BACK INTO ENHYPEN. i never thought id see the day, but bc of her smau’s and writing, i’m back in my engene era… i love how much of an angel cinna is like,,, we talk every once in awhile but she makes me the happiest girl ever when she replies to my asks or i find her in my inbox. i’ll actually fight jay for cinna

@hyuk4ngel RESIDENT MINGYU STAN,, fay has been here with me since what feels like the fucking beginning and i seriously can’t thank her enough. she’s really encouraging and amazing and she has the best ideas ever. i swear half of my writing discography is thanks to her (just my mingyu fics which is lowekey half my writing discography begsgs) she also is always checking in and i just love her for that and many other things 🥹

@baeksbyunny / @baekhyunnybyun (you’ll have to remind me which acct im supposed to tag) BEX MY BELOVED!!! THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER IS SERIOUSLY INDESCRIBABLE!!! she’s the nicest person to me. like i’ll never forget when i was anxious before my txt concert and she was so reassuring like i felt a weight lift off my shoulders. INSTANT (sar)otonin boost every time we talk, idk what it is. probably the fact that she has the most comforting presence. i love her, you honor. i rest my case.

@majestyjun mills was like the first moot i’d ever talked to,,, but i remember i was so intimidated the first time we did bc millie is literally so fucking cool like,,, i have always thought this and when she said //I// was cool and i was genuinely so honored like…. idk >< ALSO HER WRITING IS SOHSHSBS OUT OF THIS WORLD … the concepts the description,,, she’s a genius!!!

@sunnylovespickles even tho we just became moots, i thought it was really sweet that she dropped off pics of pink!cheol for me 🥹 my day was really bad and that brightened it so much <33 i hope to have more interactions with her in the future bc she seems so nice!!

[aspd-culture]

how pervasive do aspd symptoms have to be in ones life to be considered a symptom? when reading about symptoms im like, isnt this normal, doesnt everyone do this (albeit not 24/7 or else it'd be too obvious and risk getting caught) and just hide it and pretend to do otherwise and be nice to others for their own benefit lmfao? or am i just on trauma lvl 100

That kind of mentality helped get me a diagnosis and that is /srs. No, the "aspd outlook" symptoms are definitely not something everyone thinks/feels and just doesn't admit it (according to prosocials anyway), and and that understanding of the world is a part of what makes ASPD a PD. Because someone who has ASPD has lived with some of these symptoms from a very young age in most cases, they seem like a matter of fact when in reality they are trauma responses.

Now that said, having *some* of those symptoms/associated traits IS normal, especially if you don't meet the situations that generally cause ASPD.

The line for what makes it a symptom is it causing significant and consistent distress and/or difficulty either for you, your loved ones/those close to you, work/school, or a combination of the 3. You may not see it that way at first, but think back to insults people have thrown at you and see if the words "cynical", "manipulative", "sees people as pawns/objects", "sees the world as a chess game", and/or "uses everyone" have come up a number of times. These are pretty common for pwASPD to have heard - sometimes MANY times over - in our life.

Specifically, to be considered a symptom of any personality disorder though, some amount of symptoms have to exist regardless of what situation you are in, what location you are in, who's around you, etc. The symptoms may be much lighter in some situations than others, that's very common, but there shouldn't be a notable pattern that you have 0 symptoms when you're in X situation, aside from Exceptions and even then usually there are usually at least some symptoms even if they are much less severe. It would not be a PD symptom if, for example, you only had symptoms at work, but never any other time, or if you only have symptoms while h1gh or drvnk.

It's worth noting that in pwASPD imposter syndrome will likely make you feel like you don't have any symptoms sometimes, but check in with those around you if you can and you'll likely find you still aren't acting prosocial and just aren't noticing it bc it's your normal.