#/but each of the days i want to do have different ships/
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peskyautumn ¡ 1 day ago
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Not to be a traffic shipper on main BUUUUTTTTTTTT
I. Love. Solidwood.
... Yes I know what that sounds like
I mean I love Jimmy Solidarity x Martyn Littlewood, not di-
Anyway comedic start to this post aside, I've actually shipped it since the EVO days so... Uhh *Shuffles Papers* At least 2017, yeah I've been a fan of this ship for 7 years
Back in 2017 is because they were homoerotic border lined married officers of the law (Acab I'm sorry Jimmy and Martyn) I mean they bought matching vacation homes, and while it is a little bit of Toxic Yaoi (We love Toxic Yaoi here) it also is genuine, Martyn and Jimmy care deeply for each other, even when they hop to a new world they stick together, despite disbanding the Property Police. They have each other's back and have undying loyalty to each other and it's fucking gay tbh like helllooooooooooooo
No body matches their freak like each other
BUT rant about EVO aside, i have some... Headcanons/concepts for The Life Series (I've never seen the life series,,,) so if it's conflicting with stuff I apologize but I do try to work with what I know
One other thing of note is I'm really really into The Listener Jimmy headcanon and one of additional headcanons related to that is Jimmy being a blue canary prior to becoming a Listener, his feathers changing to yellow when he becomes one
NOW the reason I made this post. My Solidwood (I'm gonna keep calling it that) Listener!Jimmy and Martyn headcanon I wanted to ramble about
Again prior to the Life Series, during EVO Jimmy is a normal blue Canary, there was nothing irregular about him, that is how Martyn remembers him
But the next time he sees Jimmy, during Third Life, there's something different about him, his bright sky blue feathers are replaced by almost blinding yellow ones. His wingspan has grown to be larger then it was prior, Jimmy's ears (? Feather things) are always twitching, Jimmy seems more hyper aware of the things around him, like he can hear something, like he's being watched.
And something about how Jimmy's face sometimes doesn't seem right, there's a level of uncannyness about how perfect it is, how angelic his voice has become, Martyn loved everything about Jimmy prior, his imperfections being perfect to him and while he doesn't love him any less, the Jimmy he remembers is gone, it nags at him, especially when in the wrong angle, his eyes are a sharp yellow, or how his face figures shift into something he can't make a single detail on.
And it isn't just Martyn, he's noticed how tension enters both Jimmy and Grian the first few times they cross pathes, silent stares like they're studying eachother, waiting for the other to do something. It weirdly enough changes though, a few loops in, becoming a mutual understanding, mutual pity for the other. BigB and Pearl also seem tense around Jimmy, though it's more one sided, like they know something, understanding far deeper then Jimmy does himself.
Martyn still loves Jimmy, he can't bring himself to not, he loves his touch, his laughter, smile and the quiet words they exchange with each other deep into the night. But it's not the same, it's not the Timmy he knew, even if Jimmy doesn't outwardly act any different, there's just things he can't hide. Martyn has in a lot of ways, tried to learn to accept it, to accept him, even if he's not exactly the same man he use to know...
But sometimes, just rare enough that he's never vocalized it, Martyn will look at him right, his breath will hitch and his heart will still....
Because in the right light, Jimmy looks like that Blue Carney Martyn fell in love with all those years ago.
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batneko ¡ 18 hours ago
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Oops I thought about Mithrun and Senshi too much and now the ship has sailed, sorry, it's cresting the horizon there's no point in even waving anymore.
(Cross-posted from a thread I wrote on bluesky yesterday.)
Mithrun was already fond of Senshi because Senshi is the person who made him feel like he deserved to keep living, so during the first year or so when the new kingdom is still getting settled Mithrun hangs around Senshi whenever they happen to cross paths.
Somebody mentions to Senshi that Mithrun wanted to learn to make noodles, so Senshi thinks that's why and is happy to teach him. Senshi is also trying to make a concentrated effort to unlearn his prejudices, and Mithrun turns out to be easy to talk to. He doesn't mind answering any odd questions Senshi has, or admitting when he doesn't know something. He'll also explain his own motivations (when he understands them himself) so even with Senshi's blunted social skills they can understand each other.
So it just makes sense for them to move in together! Neither of them is going to live in the city full-time, Senshi enjoys cooking for another person when they ARE both home, and they can report back to each other when they've seen particularly dangerous/delicious monsters on their trips. Logic!
Neither of them has a strong sexual/romantic drive so it's a solid decade before they even think to put a label on it. There are small changes here and there over the years though. Senshi learns Mithrun can't sleep without being lulled into it so he always makes him a filling snack and a warm drink. He keeps an eye on Mithrun's health and schedule. He likes doing this kind of thing, it feels good to have someone to take care of.
It's not perfect, of course. Mithrun has trouble expressing what he likes and wants, and since he's usually pretty blunt unless he's being bitchy Senshi has no idea when Mithrun is upset. Senshi can get upset about stuff too, and Mithrun has to learn to do things that seem pointless to him because they make Senshi happier.
(yes this is about doing the dishes)
And then one day while they're eating Senshi gently tucks Mithrun's hair behind his ear because it's gotten a little long and is suddenly overwhelmed with affection and the urge to do... something. He should do something here, right? So he offers to tie it back, but that's harder than expected.
Senshi tracks down Chilchuck to ask him how to do hair, and Chilchuck catches on immediately and is like, "lol, weird, you do you though man, congrats." Senshi is baffled and Chilchuck passes the lesson along to Flertom instead (her hair is most similar to Mithrun's). After that Mithrun heads out on his missions with his hair neatly pulled back and always returns once the braids have completely fallen apart.
Eventually Senshi is able to put a name to his feelings and realize he's felt this way for a WHILE, so he tells Mithrun he loves him. Mithrun says, "It doesn't feel the way it did before, but I care for you, your happiness is important to me. Being parted from you would be deeply unpleasant. I don't know if there's a name for this feeling other than 'love.'" And then reveals he inquired about dwarvish marriage customs EIGHT YEARS AGO and has had the rings in his room this whole time. Senshi, tearfully, accepts.
They have a quiet ceremony that weekend and forget to invite anyone.
Senshi eventually remembers to tell his friends, who are differing levels of surprised. Mithrun sends formal notices to the people who matter back in the elven kingdom and causes a HUGE scandal. He's quietly thrilled about this.
People who assumed Senshi and Mithrun were together this whole time and only mildly surprised they weren't already married: Laios, Falin, Kabru
(Kabru sees Mithrun often and always politely inquires "how are things with Senshi back home?" and Mithrun always says "good." or, rarely, "he's mad at me. 😑")
People who knew they weren't officially together but aren't surprised it turned out this way: Chilchuck, Cithis, Mithrun's brother
(Obrin came to visit once and Mithrun introduced Senshi as "this is Senshi, I like him." and Senshi was like "aw, I like you too! 🥰" and Obrin was just like "......hm!")
People who are absolutely blindsided: Marcille, Pattadol
(Marcille thinks love is supposed to be INTENSE and OVERWHELMING and LIFE-CHANGING and like, it can be but calm down.)
People who literally never wondered about them at all: Izutsumi
(Izutsumi lives with them, as much as she lives with anybody, she just doesn't care. She actually likes Mithrun's cooking better because he will serve her plain noodles without a word and Senshi is devastated by this.)
I'm not sure if they have sex. I think they would at least try it to see if it's for them. It does help Mithrun fall asleep! And I think Senshi would definitely enjoy being able to make Mithrun really come undone.
Not much really changes after they get married, they still have their own rooms, they still live largely separate lives. Except Senshi no longer has to worry about maintaining personal space when spending time with Mithrun. You're allowed to hug and cuddle your husband whenever you want, right? That's part of the whole deal!
Mithrun likes it but only Senshi can tell, at least until Mithrun starts reciprocating. Somebody who doesn't know they're together sees Mithrun wander over and lean on Senshi like an armrest and they're like "uhhhhh is that racist?" and somebody else is like "no no they're just like that."
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aziraphales-library ¡ 2 days ago
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Thank you so much for all the work you do💗
I was wondering if you have any long human au fics with lots of angst and a happy ending? Again thank you!!
You're welcome! We have #long fic, #human au, and #angst tags where there will be plenty of overlap, so do dip into those. Here are more for you...
Lessons in the Humanities by Greenathena (M)
Aziraphale Fell teaches English at Eden Midtown Academy. His new co-worker, Anthony Crowley, is a bit of a wild card, who doesn't mind ruffling a few feathers. Over the course of the school year, their friendship seems to be growing into something more. That is until Aziraphale is offered a high-stakes job, overseeing state testing for the whole of the Massachusetts Department of Education. They're in love, your honor. Possibly. Probably. It's ineffable complicated.
What is forgiveness but the silence after a scream? by Moonstone_Lingo (M)
After being forced to return to the town he once ran away from decades ago when he hears of his mother's death, Aziraphale is confronted with a past he wants to forget, but one that is hauntingly insistent on being relived. When a chance encounter with a stranger reveals that Crowley is not far away at all, Aziraphale must consider which he cares about more: his belief in God or his love for Crowley, and not wanting to choose, he quickly discovers he cannot have both. Unsure whether it is already too late, Aziraphale learns that he has to fight for what he wants before it slips out of his grasp. or "God loves you, Crowley." "not enough to stop hurting me." "I love you, Crowley." "not enough to save me."
As Yet Untitled by badwolfgirlicouldkissyou (E)
Aziraphale Fell is a number one best-selling author, despite his lack of self confidence and desire to hide from the public eye. Whilst fighting off his anxiety disorder at the premiere of his first novel's feature film adaptation, he meets an enigmatic, mysterious photographer who seems to only have eyes for him. Can they navigate their newfound bond? Or will past trauma and current obstacles get in their way?
Adaptive Innovations for a Changing World by amelia_airheart (E)
When Anthony Crowley meets Aziraphale Fell at Aziraphale's library, little do they know that they will turn each other's worlds upside down. After a magical week spent falling in love, they face a hard reality. Will they be able to make the choices they need to make to build a real life together?
And the fire will consume us by Merlarme (M)
Crowley works as a firefighter. One day he rescues Aziraphale, a paramedic, who is trapped in a burning building. Grateful Aziraphale decides to find his rescuer and, after getting to know him a little better, realises that they have a lot in common and are both so lonely that the accident that brought them together turned out to be a true grace.
Sinking Ships by AppleSeeds (E)
The world is practically on fire and it feels like nobody's doing anything about it, but Crowley's outlook brightens considerably when a new member arrives at his local climate action committee. Crowley is immediately smitten, and is thrilled when he and Aziraphale become fast friends, although he can't help but hope they might one day become something more. When all of his wishes come true, Crowley starts to feel like life couldn't possibly get any better. He can picture exactly what his future is going to look like, until something happens that feels like a powerful bolt of lightning has struck and split Crowley's life right down the middle, with everything before that moment on one side, and everything that is to come - scorched, lifeless and devastated - on the other. With the help of a counsellor, Crowley begins the difficult journey of picking up the pieces and working through what's happened. When Aziraphale unexpectedly comes back into his life, Crowley finally has the chance to get some answers, revealing that the truth is very different from what he was led to believe. Now he just needs to figure out whether that changes anything.
- Mod D
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quibbs126 ¡ 2 days ago
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So I just feel like sharing this other idea that’s been rattling through my brain, and blaming it on late night madness (even though it’s not, but telling myself that makes me feel a little better)
Anyways, so basically the whole concept stemmed from the idea of cross-faction ships having kids, secret or otherwise, and them being worried what Megatron might do when he finds out, only for Megatron to literally be unable to say shit about it because he too has a cross-faction secret kid that he’s not told anyone about
So uh, yeah. That’s the idea. Secret megop kid that was born presumably shortly after the war started out and the two had their divorce
Not really that different in overall concept from that skystar kid idea I had that one time. Well sort of, but whatever
Megatron definitely knows about the kid but I’m not sure Optimus does. I’m leaning on no for comedy purposes. Basically Megatron had the kid, and for one reason or another (whether it be he didn’t want to raise a kid, didn’t want to raise Optimus’ kid, didn’t want someone to exploit this potential weakness, didn’t want the kid involved in the Decepticons or war, or a mix of some or all), basically just yeeted the kid out of there as soon as possible. The Decepticons either never knew or it’s been so long they forgot about it or something
Don’t know what they’re doing now, but there just is a child of the leaders of the Autobot and Decepticon factions just running around, and no one knows
The main way I can see comedy/trouble brewing in this scenario is them deciding to join the Autobots and working with Optimus Prime’s team. So like, Megatron knows the kid is there, but can’t say that he knows them or how, or why he’s particularly concerned with this random Autobot’s well-being. Another layer to the situation would be if Optimus doesn’t know the kid is his, but they get along great and Optimus is like “you know this bot is like the son I never had” and the kid is like “wow Optimus is like the dad I never had”, all the while being unaware
Though I’m also debating the idea that Megatron also wouldn’t recognize the kid, since it’s presumably been millions of years since they last saw each other. He just knows he and Optimus have a kid somewhere. Though then the situation might become less comedy and more angst if he attacks the kid and only realizes afterwards that it’s his and he didn’t recognize them. Or maybe you could keep the comedy by having him too just be unaware when the kid is right next to him, potentially just in an alternate scenario where the kid joins the Decepticons instead
And yeah, I think that’s about it. One of these days I’m gonna have to actually make one of these fankids. I just have to figure out how to combine designs and such, particularly with the helms since the rest I can tweak for alt mode purposes
But how does one combine Megatron and Optimus’ helms in a satisfying way? Hmm
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harleiquina ¡ 3 days ago
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Hey! I'm late for the party (because being overworked and underpaid sucks and always ends up in burnout -not fully recovered as of now, just with spare time because its Christmas, I'm working and nobody is calling so I can delve in Tumblr as much as my heart desires-).
First of all... I wrote my original reply around 2 or 3 am because my dog woke me up and I couldn't fall asleep again. So probably I had a point and eventually lead to something else because... sleepy brain goes brr.
About the writing
It is true that between saying it or just leave it out the text, leaving it out of the text is the safer option. There is also the posibility that it was planting an idea that never truly came to be so it is just dangling there with no other purpose... it happened to me a few times that I plant a seed of something in a story and then completely forget about it and sometimes I remember and remove it. I don't know how the time frame and due dates are in the process of creating a comic (if it was written arch per arch or if NG had all planned out and later came up with the different issues) but I guess that is they were going issue per issue -writing, drawing, coloring, formating and eventually printing it- there weren't many options to go back and fix something that didn't worked.
And yes... these were the '90s so... there isn't much to do about it.
In the end of the day, Sandman isn't Hob's story. Maybe there was a chance that if audiences liked him enough there could've been a limited run series of him through time and it didn't happened maybe there was a plan to do so but audiences preffered Death over him (can't blame them). Then the audience could've see him after his meeting with Morpheus and maybe growing a backbone eventually to stop his bussiness with the Slave Trade. We will never know.
Shipping and willingfully-ignorant fans
I'm not into shipping either (I'm not going to deny that in any fandom some edits or fanarts are cute) and in this particular case, even if I understand from where it comes from... I'm so done with it. Maybe if instead of casting the son they would've gone with the father things wouldn't have gone that far 🤣
Mischaracterization is a common phenomena in any fandom, sometimes it could be the main shtick to the plot of one pice of fanfic but when the bee-hive fandom accepts it as official headcanon there is no turning back and you just have to ignore it.
Had fandom had a more accurate-looking Hob they might've reacted differently. I haven't read the comics but I've seen a few panels... and he kind of grosses me out. There is no question there that he was on any easy-way to do money (thief, soldier, slave trader) with little to no remorse. But shippers only see what they want to see and leave any kind of nuance flies out the window.
There are (possibly) many fanfic writers that took Hob's dark past (in general) and did created well grounded stories where he gets to reflect on what he's done and how to atone for it. But fluff is fluff and it gets more views. And I think that's the root of it all... some people just want a cozy coffe-shop AU because they are only in there for the romance, others want to read something that will make them question either the character or themselves, analize how certain events played out or could happen. Pretty much as with movies you have the blockbusters, the historic dramas, the romance and an audience for each one of them.
It might feel like some of them are glossing over a very serious subject that should be treated with respect however there is a different place to tackle those subjects on... hopless romantic fanfics are not the right place.
However there is also those who go full "he did nothing wrong" and this could stem from both options: people who are racist themselves, or people that has no idea of what it being a part of the Slave Trade really means. Given that History is so far back, is easy to "forget" or even imagine the living conditions back then. Of course, those who have grandparents or greatgrandparents that have experienced it in the flesh will not let it fly.
In the end of the day it all depends on whoever is reading. They can be affected by it, shocked, outraged or not... that's how Art works and none of us has the right moral compass to tell others if they should be ashamed or not.
We can tell them to knock it off or at least tag properly, but thats an entirely different can of worms 🤣
Hob Gadling’s Involvement in the Transatlantic Slave Trade between the 16th and 19th Century
The Fallacy of (clumsily written) Racial Reconciliation or: Is show/Hob really different from comics!Hob
I originally wrote this a while back as a reply to someone else’s post, but since we’ve been discussing “Men of Good Fortune” (comics) and “The Sound of Her Wings” (Netflix) in our community over the past weeks, I’ve expanded on a few points of my original thoughts.
This post discusses difficult topics, systemic racism, questions of social (in)justice and problematic angles in writing. If that’s not your thing, this is the exit sign…
A question that comes up quite frequently is the following:
Is show!Hob different from comics!Hob?
Hob’s conversation with Dream in 1789 (and not just 1789) in the show has been significantly altered (compared to the comics), and it makes it tempting to believe this somehow makes him different regarding the more problematic side of his character.
In the comics, we have a bit of dialogue in 1789 that shows how deeply involved in the slave trade Hob was: “I sort of started it,” said with a hint of, dare I say, pride? And then brushing off Dream’s concerns by saying, “It’s a living.” Twice.
(They changed this to, “It’s just how it’s done”, and a shrug in the show.)
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And it’s true: If this had been integrated into the show, it would have painted him in an even worse light. However, I personally think it was the wrong move to leave it out (Ferdinand Kingsley carefully voiced something along those lines as well btw). Because now the show pushed Hob’s whole involvement in the slave trade much more into the direction of, “Oopsie.”
Can we truly take leaving out the above dialogue as a hint that Hob might be a better person in the show? I’d like to really reflect on that--leaving out those comments can’t make him a better person. Even if we change his arc slightly and he “wasn’t that involved.” You’re involved, or you aren’t. There is no, “I tried a bit of slave trading and decided it wasn’t for me.” One could even argue it makes the angle of the show more problematic because it makes the slave trade a “little blip” in his timeline. Things like that can’t be a blip. I personally think the writers made a mistake here, but that’s obviously just my opinion.
If there wasn’t enough space in the show to expand on it (which I get for a side character), I feel they should have left out the slavery arc completely instead of keeping, but then minimising it (that might sound contradictory, but it only does if you don’t look at it too closely). It already didn't sit right with me 30 years ago to use slavery as a side note for showing a white person’s character development without properly examining the damage caused, and it still doesn't sit right with me now. It makes the plight of PoC a plot vehicle to centre white people’s guilt, and I always thought that’s a blind spot only white people have (and I’m white myself, to get that out of the road straightaway).
I’m not saying it couldn’t or shouldn’t have been used narratively. Or that you can’t show remorse and atonement/redemption for the most heinous acts (that’s not the same as forgiveness—I’ll get to that). Or that characters who have committed said acts are irredeemable. But it would have needed to be fleshed out instead of making it a comment in passing. Many books and movies do exactly that. But the point is that it’s never been fleshed out.
“But they had to shorten and streamline it…”—just no. Because to me (and ofc people are free to disagree), that exactly proves the point—centring the white guy while sidelining the people who suffer. I am a bit doubtful we’ll get anything remotely appropriate in the show after what we’ve already seen. Only time will tell, so I’m withholding final judgment at this point. Fact is: It is uncomfortable to watch for people with any sensitivity on the matter.
And yet, there is a lot of focus on leaving out Hob voicing his regret in 1889, since that (again) “would have painted him in a better light.”
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While simultaneously regularly failing to mention that he proudly proclaimed he “invented” the triangle trade. Can we really pick and choose his traits like that? Hob is a materialistic opportunist who also has some regrets. That doesn’t mean he can’t exist as a character, or that we’re not allowed to like him (morally grey characters are often the most compelling ones). We don’t need to sanitise him though, or try to erase his problematic traits from canon. The same goes for other characters (yes, I’m looking at you, Dream, and I’m sure we’ll get to that very soon—in fact, we’re possibly starting tomorrow 🫣). If we are talking about Hob’s remorse, we are probably mostly thinking about Sunday Mourning, so I need to bring in issue #73 at this point (this is your spoiler warning if you don’t want to read ahead).
The Fallacy of Racial Reconciliation
Very plainly:
A black woman is used as a vehicle to forgive Hob. And said black woman has been written by a white male author for that sole purpose without giving her anything else to do. I personally think NG got that wrong. It was clumsy and insensitive to POC, and I really hope they change this for the show. It’s a fact that he really wasn’t good with writing black female characters in the whole run—they all get fridged in one way or another, and he even admits it in the Sandman Companion. And then turns around and basically implies that it's all okay now because “nothing bad” happens to Gwen once Morpheus is dead. She is allowed to be a vehicle for the character development of a white guy though. It’s just really insensitive, and I sincerely hope they don't put it in the show this way. And I’m glad that we're seeing hints it might not happen--at least the casting in the show hints at it (from Lucienne, Death and Rose to very likely turning Carla into a white man—we already met Carl, and that’s who he is IMHO).
There is also the not so small fact that Hob is, even in his guilt and shame (shame is always about yourself, and that’s actually very in keeping with his character), not honest with Gwen. The thing about him basically inventing the triangle trade, which he so proudly proclaimed in 1789?
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The English who were so good at it? The “Jack” Hawkins he talked about in 1789? That’s actually this dude:
And Hob funded him 200 years before 1789, and enabled Hawkins. Hob was involved in what became the transatlantic slave trade well before 1789–he already funded it when he had money in the 1500s.
He carried that mindset around with him for literal hundreds of years and saw nothing wrong with it until at least (! more about that in a sec) 1789. Dream had to rub his nose in it, otherwise it wouldn’t even have occurred to him (or did it, and he just chose to ignore it--see below).
Hob has been written as a stand-in for humanity, British Imperialism and England over the centuries—with all that entails.
So how honest is he with Gwen? And how long, even after 1789, was he still involved, even after abolition in England (Somerset vs. Stewart declared slavery unlawful in England in 1772, but that wasn't true for the rest of the British Empire. Buying and selling slaves was only made illegal in 1807, while owning slaves only became unlawful with the Abolition Act of 1833, and it took another year to buy out slave owners to actually make it happen)? Because there’s still this:
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“It got worse when they did [outlaw the slave trade]. You only needed one voyage in three to make a profit. You could afford to dump your cargo if… you spotted a British Man o’ War.” How does he know? Why does he have these nightmares? We can take a guess…
That’s not someone who tried it for a couple of weeks and then thought, “Sorry, my bad.” That’s someone who has been opportunistically involved from the 1500s and potentially until after slavery was unlawful in England, which it already was when he talked to Dream in 1789. So does his feigned ignorance of, "It's a living/It's how it's done?" really hold? Especially if he potentially kept going, even after that convo with Dream? When I wrote "between the 16th and 19th Century" in the header, that's exactly what I meant...
Guilt and Shame
Yes, what we see above and in all the other panels is guilt and shame. And it reminded me of this:
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And I’d encourage everyone to really listen to what Jasper has to say, and sit with the feelings it brings up. Because I can still remember watching this in the George Floyd aftermath for the first time, and how deeply uncomfortable it made me—because he’s right.
Black people/PoC do not need to forgive and absolve white people from their guilt. They can if they wish to, but that’s their choice, not ours. It’s not for white people to absolve other white people from their guilt around the oppression of PoC. And that’s why it could be argued it’s not for white people to write a black character to do that in their stead either (they can of course, but then they need to live with the fact that people will call them tone-deaf). It could also be argued it is something that cannot be forgiven retrospectively, and white people need to be okay with that. It can only be worked on in the present with a view to the future. And as Jasper also so rightly points out:
The guilt is not even helpful (at least Gwen has the right sentiment there, but it’s still falls incredibly flat over all), and shame only centres ourselves.
Forgiveness vs Redemption
Hob Gadling's regrets don't make everything he did forgivable. I think it actually does the story a disservice if that’s our main takeaway, because this is truly one of the bits of The Sandman that’s written in an extremely tone-deaf manner. NG isn’t the first author who did this, but we can take something good and helpful from this, and that’s engaging with these questions instead of brushing them under the carpet—because that’s what literary analysis is about.
It should be clear that I do see Hob Gadling as narratively important because I see him as a stand-in for humanity, and more specifically, English history. And there is really so much to learn from that.
Writers can get things narratively right but still be emotionally tone-deaf due to their own blind-spots. We don’t need to assume malice, but we also don’t need to leave it entirely unchallenged.
And because of that, we can certainly see Hob as someone who has to live with his conscience, and the consequences of his actions, for the rest of his life and struggles with that (as he should). And maybe we can see him as someone who is now, finally, trying to do the work. Because that is what atonement and redemption actually mean:
Taking action to rectify past wrongs. Actively working against the harm once caused, and preventing it from ever happening again. And I hope that’s what he does, and the signs are there (but there are also still signs that he values covering up his immortality higher than e.g. telling Gwen the truth. And we can find a million excuses for why that is, but ultimately, none of them truly matter).
However, it is not the same as forgiveness from the people we have wronged. Forgiveness is not a prerequisite to redemption, although it can be a part of it if the person who has been wronged chooses to extend it. But the people Hob wronged are dead, while their descendants still need to live with the pain people like Hob caused to this very day. So while I don’t see him as irredeemable, I don’t think he needs to, or even can, be forgiven—especially not by black people (unless they choose to. But it is also fine if they don’t, and again, we need to be okay with that). And we could say, “But Gwen chose to.” To that, I say:
I wonder what Gwen would have said if he had been truly honest with her (which he wasn’t, see below panels). That wouldn’t have been an embrace is my guess…
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aparticularbandit ¡ 7 months ago
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day six of dr rarepair week is found footage/local mystery and all i can think of is haruhi and junko and all the others in canada chasing down the monster that most of them never see while haruhi is trying to make a horror movie and everyone keeps dying.
but that's not rarepair, that's crossover ship and also a little bit of crackshipping, so like. i probably shouldn't use that.
but it's all i can think of.
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kairennart ¡ 11 months ago
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Post-XXVII
For @blacksails-rarepairs
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dykedvonte ¡ 6 months ago
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Preston x Danse is the only companion ship I think would actually work because Preston’s inner turmoil is sort of a loss of faith in himself due to the traumatic experiences he’s faced while Danse is looking for something to have faith in and would find the fact that despite the desire to give up Preston held out so long not just for the honor of the Minutemen but because he had some hope.
It would 100% start off as a lotta unhealthy on Danse’s side as I believe he completely lacks the emotional intelligence (due to a combination of factors) to recognize the he’s feelings as anything but a sort of respect for a superior along with leaning too much into Preston as a substitute for the BoS. Preston may not really have a title but he’s like THE Lieutenant of the Minutemen. Realistically he’s the only companion Danse would probably be comfortable taking instructions from especially for how trusted Preston is by the Sole Survivor and his adherence to military standards despite how unstructured the Minutemen are. It would be him waiting for orders, approval, anything from Preston and he thinks it’s just the desire to have the regiment of the BoS again but he also like when Preston compliments him on being useful or resourceful. He likes the stories of Minuteman glory days and he trades the stories of the BoS that don’t hurt to talk about. He likes the familiarity Preston would provide and he’d be oblivious that it’s not just new found loyalty to the Minutemen.
Yet Preston explains it himself that he’s not a natural leader. He’s not an instructor. He helps manage what the General has put in place and he content on doing that. He relays what needs to be done and does major upkeep but I don’t think he’d know what to do with this guy this literally marches up to him and practically begs for a mission that doesn’t exist. Like the formality and respect is nice but he can tell it’s covering something even if Danse doesn’t.
Danse could go to Sturges for the many repair and upkeep assignments he gives him and has the freedom to go straight to the Castle if he really wants a big mission, but he chooses to come to him everytime. He’s aware enough that Danse only trusts him out of all of the Generals confidantes but it would take a bit for him to understand why. If anything Danse should be strategizing with him as equals seeing as he almost got the Minuteme wiped out and Danse was a Paladin for the Brotherhood with many successes under his belt before Preston even led his first scouting mission. It’s like he sees him as some figure of hope, some one who can come in and add stability. Someone with a fresh outlook who can provide a new perspective for him.
It’s like he sees him like he saw/sees the Sole Survivor but that would be crazy because that would also mean… and then oh, it clicks.
The revelation is both flattering and he doesn’t know what to do with it cause how do you address “I know you respect me but is that the only feeling you have for me?” To the guy who like refuses to rest unless you tell him at ease? He has to reevaluate his whole manner of interaction with Danse cause this is a very slippery slope that he’s sliding down and it’s even more perilous due to Danse’s repressed emotions regarding… everything. There’s an equal chance Danse will try to open up as completely shut down and he’s not just concerned about it cause Sole Survivor cares for him but because he has grown to care for the guy too. It’s not like he doesn’t also enjoy Danse’s company and value as a Minuteman member. He’s not a love at first sight guy but he’s played with the idea, anyone would when you’ve spent nights trading stories, historical facts and beers by the fire in a little home you’ve carved for yourself through literal blood, sweat and tears.
I think it’s one of those cases where it’s agonizingly slow to the actual relationship but neither part are anguished about that. If anything happened to soon Danse would be too dependent and Preston not equipped to handle it. It’s a case where I genuinely think they’d bring out the best in each other cause theyd want to figure out what is best for the other and not just apply what they think is the best. It’s the care that Preston would ask Danse what he wants to do and encourage it and at the same time Danse would be incredulous everytime Preston second guesses himself.
Long story short it’s a good ship to me because it’s just two guys with broken confidences and faith in their roles being each other’s hype man and kissin a little about it.
#my thing with the other ships is less that the compatibility is bad but a lot of these characters would not enable the best behavior in eac#other or they want drasticlu different things in life or partners and while flings or non serious things would work long term I imagine#problems would arise that a lot of them would not know how to address with each other like Preston is the most well adjusted besides like#Piper. I’d say Nick but he has the whole I’m technically another guy thing going on and DiMA and he’s a workaholic and throws himself into#danger a lot if Ellie is to be believed so like Piper is the closest next to Preston#a lot of these people should not be in relationships rn honestly because they have barely worked through their issues and should learn to b#health mentally and physically and emotionally alone first as they cling to hard to SoSu#like it’s almost all of them but like Piper Preston and MacCready but RJ is also just kinda a dick but we knows he’s always been like that#Preston x Danse is till more so a like this develops slowly and Danse doesn’t know why his stomach hurts when Preston doesn’t include him i#his patrol squad for the day and blames it on feeling like he’s being excluded for not being good at it and Preston excluding him cause he’#like I need you to do something for yourself of of your own volition but also his buddy deserves a break and does not get that Danse is lik#a work dog that constantly needs a task or he becomes neurotic#I have so many thoughts on the compatibility of the companions cause some of them are like fun partners and fwbs and others would have the#most heartbreaking toxic romances known to man but still get over it the next day and be fwbs like none of them have healthy feelings#Preston x Danse#dunno if they have a ship name#fo4#preston garvey#fallout#fallout 4#paladin danse#danse#Danse’s active flirting is like ‘you know how to perfectly create a secure perimeter I have trouble believing it wasn’t just bad timing and#luck with the misfortune that followed your group to concord Lieutenant Garvey’ and it’s like the most reassuring thing Preston has heard#but that is like not a flirty thing but Presont is still smitten by it cause what the fuck does this guy see in him or why is he suxking up#to him and his poor planning skills
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phantajam ¡ 5 months ago
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my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)
#they were still adjusting to living life without struggling to survive#a girl should not be jumping into a relationship the same week she just tried her first piece of non-rotten food lol#thats not to say I don't like the canon ships#but mal married literally the FIRST man she met in auradon. at 18.#and even as far as in descendants 2 we see them still struggling to adjust in different ways (mainly mal)#in d3 they seem to have fully assimilated into life in Auradon (as much as a VK can anyway)#so it makes sense for them to THEN seek out relationships if that's what they want.#but disney ofc wanted to act like romantic love just automatically fixes a person's problems ig?? as if a relationship wouldn't just be#added stress given the position the VKs were in in d1#not to mention dating just like. wasnt a thing on the isle (mal even says this)#and I get that the kids are craving to be loved because their parents didn't gaf about them. But I wish the first movie focused more on the#finding that love in each other than romantically with outside people. a sort of “they had love in them all along�� moment.#and then this fandom loves to argue about whether Jarlos/Janelos was 'rushed'. at least Carlos (and Jay +lonnie) waited a few months before#throwing themselves into the dating scene. Poor evie had her heart broken within like 3 days of being in Auradon. no wonder she was willing#to help steal the wand lol.#Anyway to wrap up this rant I didn't even mean to go on#I just think that kids who have spent the first 14-16 years of their lives fighting to survive and being put through continuous trauma on a#daily basis don't need dating right away. they need THERAPY.#if anyone here has seen stranger things its kinda an El and Mike situation were its like. the girl grew up in a lab and fell for the first#boy in regular society who was kinda nice to her lol. thats how I view Mal and Ben#same with doug and evie. he was nicer than chad but he still fell for her for her looks and she still fell for him because he was the first#guy in auradon to be genuinely interested in her. also evie had a whole “I dont need a prince” arc and ended up with a man anyway?#my problem with janelos was always that Carlos never quite worked out his mommy issues or his anxiety. I feel like he'd be afraid of hurtin#her even though that boy wouldn't hurt a fly. and we see Jane get pretty stressed out herself- have you ever been in a relationship where#both of you have anxiety? cause it either goes really well (you help keep each other calm) or REALLY terribly (you make each other spiral)#I actually really liked Lonnie and Jay (though I feel like it would've had a bigger payoff if she was in d3. not sure why she wasn't but I#wont dunk on that because it couldve been smth to do with her actress). I think Lonnie is someone who can 'handle' Jay well and match his#energy. And I like the idea of Jay finding someone he's loyal to after being commitment-phobic for 1 1/2 movies and the whole first book lo#and ofc I have to throw this in here: any auradon kid the VKs get with is never going to grasp even half of what they went through.#this doesnt mean they can't try to understand and be empathetic. but it will always cast a shadow on VK/AK relationships.
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tellthemhowihopetheyshouted ¡ 10 months ago
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meejijis ¡ 3 months ago
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People who age up Jeanne just to be the same age as Ren are cowards
#text#I also don't agree with the headcanon interpretation of Ren treating her like a “kid” either in the BP era because of their age difference#If anything I like to believe they treated eachother as equals and have mutual respect for one another#I personally find it boring to keep restricting your enjoyment on the ship all because of their 4 year age gap. When they literally have#no power imbalance in their dynamic neither theyre unhealthy. Theyre both mature for their ages if anything#Like yeah its ok to be uncomfortable and grossed out because theyre a adult x teen ship I get it. But still again they have a pretty#mature and healthy relationship by the end of the day as it even shows in their adult years. Idk why ppl have such a hard time#grasping the concept that Ren and Jeanne had a mature healthy relationship during the BP era and still wishes#for jeanne to be aged up or make her the same age as Ren because 4 year age gap is too much apparently#also lets not forget theyve been through hell in their childhoods and had to grow up fast in the toxic environment they were in#. but nah ppl think a 4 year age gap is much worse and it'll make both parties even more traumatized ever then before#than the hell they were put through as kids. Lord#I think their tragic backstories were MUCH worse honestly to the point it gives them life long trauma and endless nightmares#But them dating I literally dont give a fuck as they literally healed each other when they got together romantically#Also note: I still believe people can do whatever they want by the end of the day. Sometimes not all aus are made for everyone and thats ok#Do whatever that makes you feel the most comfortable and see fit-- I just find it a tad bit sad when ppl restrict themselves strictly#when it comes to fictional age gap ships in general when they could break loose and go all out having fun without thinking about#irl morals because this is fiction but thats just me
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beeapocalypse ¡ 4 months ago
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haunted once more by a dumb character idea
#tma guy. anatomy student turned archives assistant (sent as the most unsubtle spy possible on nikolas orders. elias finds it all very--#--funny adn their constant misery in the eyes sanctum is a sweet boon) who slowly tears themself apart under such a restrictive existence#the best they can get while still having to have a Singular Identity for the time is subtle appearance changes (eyes colors--#--changing. minute tweaks to features. a new nail length / polish each day. the most drastic they can get Appearance wise is--#--hair bc wigs exist as an explanation for why theyre walking in the building w a buzzcut one day and braids the next) and lying constantly#--abt their life outside of the job (a constantly rotating cast of characters who Never have the same characteristics as the last time--#--they mentioned them. a husband a boyfriend two daughters a mother a cousin from out of town a brother who moved to america etc etc). at--#--one point (after sasha gets Not Them-ed ? lot of tension between the two strangers bc of the assistants non-interference stance--#--that had the not them stuck in the table just a bit longer) they have a complete breakdown in front of martin bc of the stress and--#--babble abt how every single member of their family expects too much and has left them for dead and how they want to go HOME#tim runs into them at the club one night while theyre playing the part of a COMPLETELY different person and it is a very strange--#--time. a stranger wearing a party city mask of your coworker#the tma timeline has faded a bit from my head but i like the idea of them somehow weaseling their way into survival even after the--#--not them is entombed by leitner. they signed the contract so they cannot abandon ship the circus has stopped responding to their--#--messages and elias makes a point to swing by and just Watch them regularly while the archives fights to not collapse in on itself#like the name jane for them. jane doe and Also a cute bit of name sharing w jane pretniss lol#a little less certain abt this but also like the idea that when the pressure is REALLY bad but b4 the not them disaster the assistant--#--would ask the rest of the archives staff to call them by a different name w no explanation just to be able to shake off the fetter of--#--a Set Name for a day. its a different name every time and the running theory w everyone is that it is either a trans thing or a very--#--convoluted joke. the second time they do this sasha ends up getting them a label maker + two of those 'HELLO MY NAME IS' name--#--tags. one for 'jane' and one for any different name they choose that day. a genuine + caring gesture that absolutely devastates the--#--assistant because now they are BRANDED with a name
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guhhhhhhhhhhh ¡ 1 year ago
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I am going to make it thru this week even if it kills me I am GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THIS WEEK REALLY IM going to make it through this week
#when Dean Martin said I can't remember a worse December' in that one Christmas song.... he really gets it#this entire month has had me in such a strong chokehold that it's fucking with my BODY like new grey hair serious hormonal acne#breakthrough bleeding (literally the same day that I told my doctor my new birth control was going great and I hadn't had any)#like#between political stressors. the ceiling inexplicably leaking in my bedroom. having to do all the middleman work between the maintenance man#and the people who live above me to get it fixed#and ordering three (3) things to be shipped to my apartment only for the USPS to decide that I don't actually live here??? and send ALLL OF#THE PACKAGES BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM and having to communicated with 3 different customer service people each one with increasing diffi#difficulty to get the things shipped BACK to me only for one to arrive and be shipped BACK AGAIN !!!A-FUCKING-GAIN because they have the#AUDACITY to say that my unit is vacant?????? despite the fact they actually managed to get one if he other three things delivered to me#earlier in the same week and I left a handwritten note on the mailbox for my unit saying that I really do live there and pls stop fucking#with my mail you're driving me crazy mr mailman#and now having to upend my entire bedroom and put away. cover or hide all my stuff so it doesn't get covered in drywall dust while they fix#the water damage on my wall with no idea or conception of how long it will take for them to be done#AND#the stuff I used to treat the hormonal acne breakout on my chin has helped the cystic acne calm down but has ALSO severely fucked up my s#skin and so my chin is just really red and flaky and quite frankly ugly as fuck. just in time for the holidays when I do sort of want to#look cute for my familly and have some minute bit of self confidence but noooooo I can't have that#I feel horrible for whatever poor postal worker is going to have to hear about my mail issues because I used up all my paitience dealing#with the maintenance man and I really don't think I have much professionality and tact left in me#I understand that all these issues on their own are pretty minor but collectively they're really fucking wearing on me#I feel like im forgetting one#maybe it's when someone tried to switch the utilities for my apartment into their name not once but TWICE#but I feel like there was something else#oh wait yeah also my lil Christmas party with friends was supposed to happened but got cancelled bc one of my friends has Covid :))#and I DO work with her and I HAVE seen her all week and the way my luck is going I'll probably end up with Covid for christmss#aaaaaand my OTHER friends birthday celebration was supposed to be the next day but that got cancelled TOO because of The 'Vid#so all I did was stay in the house all weekend grind on Christmas gifts get high/drunk and watch movies#which.... not bad but I do miss my friends#and I'm sad that they're sick right before the holidays like that has to suck so much
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deus-ex-mona ¡ 2 years ago
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mfw someone i’m mutually blocked with seems to frequent this blog anyway (you know who you are)
#i’m not gonna name names but if the text in the tags managed to bring someone to mind then… that’s just how it is ig#though don’t send this to the person you think of ok? we may be thinking of different people after all soooooo yeah#let’s all stay clear out of trouble together… maybe~? i’m just gonna vent my confused frustrations in the tags in case the person sees this#seriously. haven’t i gone over this before? don’t we block each other for a reason?#you blocked me first (prolly) bc i ship lxl with each other. i blocked you in return (and bc i hate your ship just like you don’t like mine)#so… let’s just agree to stay off each other’s blogs. capisce?#i don’t like you and i know you don’t like me either. so seriously can we just coexist in separate circles or sth? stay away!!!!!!!!!!!#and like real question: if you are somehow here… why? just why? you made it clear that you don’t trust my tls so… why are you even here??#it’s getting kinda irritating to be told that you may/may not be making indirect posts @ me on main. seriously!!!!!!#i’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt (that it may be just a small coincidence) but it’s getting real hard to do so these days#so if you’re somehow reading these tags (and idk how bc we’re mutually blocked remember) please just… stay away?????????#in all seriousness i sincerely hope that this was just a few mere coincidences#bc lbr who would willingly check the blogs of people they’ve blocked without being prompted to? it makes no sense whatsoever#i hope that this will be the last post i make about this. bc seriouslyyyyyyy i don’t have the time for this nonsense </3#and before you accuse me of wanting to start discourse i’m not!!! i just!!!! want to be left alone!!!!!!!!!!!!#let me shitpost and occasionally tl in peace pls my bones are too aged for this
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zosan-secondchances ¡ 1 month ago
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The Pirate King of the North
Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship
AU where Straw Hat Pirates meet old Sanji from a reality where Reiju didn't have emotions.
Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language.
Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
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Young Zoro hates the fucker but those scars and piercings are doing a number to his soul.
Old Sanji's story goes like this:
He didn't experience compassion from anyone else aside from his mother, who--you know what happened.
Judge kept him locked away until he was 13. He had him released when he was deemed too broken to do anything, and he was apparently a waste of space. As far as the world was concerned, he was already dead. He gets left behind at some random pirate town in the North.
His swirly brows were recognized by the pirates who took him in--only for him to be enslaved because people would pay a lot to have their way with royalty.
He picked up some skills from the other slaves and became cunning af--because he had to be.
At 17 he started a revolt against the slaver pirates, effectively taking over as their new pirate captain.
He became the feared "Mr. Prince" and his words are as sharp as his bite.
He's underweight because he doesn't give two shits about good food.
"The All Blue? It's nothing but an old fishwive's tale," he says.
He used his cunning mind and new pirate crew to hunt down and kill his own father from the shadows.
He enslaved his own siblings and becomes the new ruler of Germa Kingdom. Over the years, he used them for warfare and expanded the territory of the North.
His heart is a bottomless pit for power and control.
He had a fling or two or several with is closely allied with Doflamingo because god damn they're both mad like that. The alliance eventually lead to direct connections with Celestial Dragons.
Sanji gains more power and becomes the notorious "Pirate King of the North"
Meanwhile at the other side of the world, Luffy didn't make it as far as he could have without a good cook.
Luffy would have recruited one from Baratie but the restaurant was absolutely destroyed before the smaller Straw Hat crew could make a difference. Some of the staff didn't make it.
Zoro left the crew when it fell apart at some point.
Due to Zoro's reputation and bounty that he had occurred during his limited time with Luffy, he was offered a position as a Warlord, ultimately taking over the late Jinbe's old role. He accepted and served for several years before he was assigned a job that he didn't know would be the most challenging one yet.
The Celestial Dragons didn't like the fact that Sanji had started to have more worldly control over their own, so Zoro was quietly assigned to hunt down the great Pirate King of the North. Zoro accepted because he felt that he needed more experience before he could take on Mihawk again.
Zoro quickly realised that this mission is not a walk in the park.
Sanji loves toying with the Demon Warlord so he insists on taking him on by himself.
It becomes an endless game of cat and mouse. Sometimes Sanji chases and sometimes he runs, sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses.
They're at each others' throats everywhere in the world. Any person, city or being of any kind that gets in the way usually gets torn apart in the chaos. The hunt goes on for a lifetime. They're currently in their 40's.
Zoro severs Sanji's left arm during one huge fight.
Because of this, Sanji relentlessly tries to get Zoro to marry him to use him in so many ways he can think of--both as an asset and under the sheets--oh the things that he wants the swordsman to do and beg for.
Sanji likes to refer to the tiniest scar on his lip as "Zoro's love bite"
He was about to get a nice fresh one on his chest when some fuckers teleported him away.
Hearing old Sanji's backstory was a bit much. It was young Zoro's turn to have a nosebleed that day.
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Oh yes I had fun drawing old silver fox, damaged Sanji. I wish I have the time to colour it up. I've also been very much into reading AU stories, especially soul brand ones. Keep them coming, you beautiful people.
Edit: Woo! I finally decided to make my own AO3 account. It's about time. Link here for the story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60686077
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coconutdays ¡ 1 year ago
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going crazy
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s. your boyfriend, handsome and secure suguru geto, doesn't get jealous
w.c. 4.8k
w. fem! reader, biker!geto! x reader , fluff!, smut!
a/n: based on my seat taker biker!geto au! also I feel this does not live up to seat taker! but I tried my best! so I hope you can still enjoy! likes reblogs and comments r always appreciated to know y’all liked it!!!
your boyfriend does not have a single jealous bone in his body. it’s convenient you suppose?
you’ve heard nightmares of insecure men who have to know where there girlfriends are every second of every hour, the direction they’re even going to utter a breath in. the occasional story of a girl who can’t speak to any men whatsoever because her boyfriend will berate her for doing so. 
although you do always keep suguru in the loop about what you’re doing and don’t really talk to guys because at the end of the day, more often than not, they always do not plan on just being your friend, he never expected those things out of you. It was a silent form of showing your respect for him. and he did the same out of instinct too, first too. 
but aside from that, he doesn’t show any jealousy.
there was a time he even tried to set you up with toji zenin when he was still crushing on you. 
your boyfriend is a little peculiar, you’re very well aware of that, but you find his confidence in himself sexy. because you couldn’t look anywhere else if you wanted to. he was handsome, his face chiseled so prettily it was painful. his smooth voice that always had you reeling to get him to talk more. and his spine tattoo that always made you blush at the sight of it befriending your scratch marks after a particularly rough night, 
so you don’t care about the way you dress, because he won’t control what you wear. in fact, it’s one of the things you both love about each other, a recent discovery now that you’ve been dating for a month. suguru is an avid fan of the way you dress, relishing in what new outfit he’ll see you in whenever he sees you that day, and if not possible, asking for a picture. and you love how he loves it. appreciating the fact that he loves when you wear booby shirts to campus or dates with him or particularly tight jeans that attract eyes aside from his, but are worn for the sole purpose of serving cunt–and riling your boyfriend up.
it all comes together to why you wear the dress you do tonight to go clubbing with him and some friends. it’s honestly the hottest thing suguru will have seen you in so far. yes, your previous halloween costumes were something alright, but this…was different. halloween was like a month ago and the outfits for those events were meant to be slutty, purely slutty. this look was meticulously planned by you the moment you ordered the dress online. the sheer dress and its sparkles had been running across your mind that entire week of shipping with the perfect sultry way you planned to do your hair and makeup. 
you 
hey can we carpool later tonight, my dress isnt motorcycle proof :/
suguru
sure princess.  can i get a peek?
you
don’t feel like it hehe wait for it sugu <3
suguru
tease
any other time, he would’ve more than likely have gotten his peek at your outfit, you are weak to his demands naturally, but this was something he genuinely would have to wait for. pictures would not do you justice and you wanted to catch your boyfriends raw reaction when he saw the look for the first time . 
and you were right.
when he went up to your apartment to pick you up and you opened the door, the reaction was worth the wait. the constant warmth your boyfriend’s gaze always held fell the moment his eyes landed on you and took a moment to breathe you in. 
you saw his pupils dart to your cleavage first, staring for a hard second, then to the tightness against your waist and hips bringing attention to your figure. the small quirk of his eyebrow seconds within that let you know he spotted the thong hugging your body under the sheer dress. he did a once over of your legs, looking at what shoes you were wearing, before he brought his eyes up to look at your face again.
he doesn’t say anything, instantly moving forward and getting rid of the space between the both of you to take your head in his hands and plant his lips on yours. you press a hand against his chest when you feel him swipe his tongue across the top of your mouth so hungrily. 
“you’re going to kiss off my lipgloss sugu.” you giggle, heaving a little as you press your forehead against his, blinking up happily at him. 
his stare is firm as his blown up pupils stare back into you, “sorry pretty girl, couldn’t help myself.”
“and why’s that hm?” you bite your lip through your smile, eagerly waiting for his answer, still forehead to forehead with him, his hands still holding you in place.
his hair is in that half up half down duo you go so feral for, you realize this detail when he says, “you know why.”
“no I don’t,” you drag on, a teasing lilt in your voice
“because,” he drags one of his hands down to caress your neck softly with his thumb, you can see a slight crease in his eyelids at your playfulness, “my girlfriend is trying to get away with first degree murder right now.”
“you like the dress?” you give him a toothy smile and you can slightly catch his gaze turn hungry at the sight of it
suguru suddenly raises you up by clasping his arms behind you, below your butt and on your thigh, so you’re above him when he looks at you lovingly, “like is an understatement.”
“well i like your hair today,” you compliment him, still giggly
“yeah?” he smiles, “i’m glad.”
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it’s your first time ever going to the club with suguru, so there’s some sort of powerful feeling lingering when you enter the loud building holding hands with him. you’re going in belonging to someone and so is he, as opposed to other people going in and hoping to catch a body tonight or at least a good grind on the dancefloor–satoru cough cough.
the white haired maniac’s influence gets all of you a vip table with liquor already waiting for you and when you get there, suguru sits and plants you on his lap, arms loosely wrapped around your waist.
It’s when you look forward, you see toji zenin give you a quick once over from where he’s seated near satoru. and you ignore it, you always do. he’s never made an advance on you ever since you and suguru became a thing, he’s respectful of the relationship, but his eyes can never lie, he’s into you. it’s why you’ve never uttered a word to him and why he doesn’t either. and you can’t really blame him if the purpose of tonight's look was to turn all heads, not just your boyfriend’s.
“you smell good baby,” suguru mutters into your ear as he brushes a hair away from your face, “are you using the perfume i got you?”
you wrap your arms around his shoulders when you respond with a nod of your head and, “yeah. I finally ran out of my old one.”
“good girl.” he smiles appreciatively before placing a tender kiss on your neck
the softness of it makes you giggle a little and crane your neck a little, suguru pinches your side to tease you for it. 
it’s when a certain lullaby of a song comes on that your ears perk up and your boyfriend observes the reaction, looking up at you and rubbing circles into your waist, “what’s up baby?”
within an instant all the girls at your table begin to get up and rush to the dance floor and you turn to suguru, already starting to unwrap his arms from your waist.
“i have to go dance this babe,” you say hurriedly, like a little kid leaving their mom the moment they see the bouncy castle go up.
suguru can say nothing before he watches you run off to join the other girls on the dance floor, eyebrows raised in amusement at your antics then in reaction to your immediate inclination to start dancing. 
you look pretty, he thinks as he reaches over to serve himself a glass of whiskey. 
and he continues to think it as he ‘talks’ to his friends, nodding and giving small mhms when all he’s really doing is watching you live it up at the center of the club. 
you’re ethereal, the only star in that murky puddle of bodies. maybe your dress is part of the reason for all that shine and glow you’re giving off, but nothing beats the pretty little smile on your face that says you’re having a good time. it’s turning him on to be honest. he always wants to shove himself inside of you when you bear that toothy smile at him. 
and other people think the same, he notes. 
he’s always seen the stares, he knows you’re a sight to behold. there hasn’t been a day where he isn’t aware that so many other people want you. he knew it when you were merely the smart, hot girl he had a crush on his lit class, with so many other guys obviously paying a little more attention when it was your turn to speak, and he knows it even more now with your male following on social media and the way he constantly gets sized up just for being next to you. for fuck's sake he's heard toji zenin talk about how bad you are before he knew about your thing with suguru at the halloween party, hell, he still catches the frat president unable to control the way his eyes eat you up when you're near.
“done already?” satoru asks haughtily when he sees all of the girls that went to dance come back heaving a little
it’s been an hour since they all left at the start of that first song.
“y/n’s still there though,” one of them breathes, taking satoru’s drink from him, “she does not stop.”
“yeah, she doesn’t,” suguru laughs a little, looking back at you, still as energetic as when you first got there.
fuck, you're beautiful.
speaking of before,
he’s painfully more aware of it when he notices the number of eyes gravitating towards you from the dancefloor, tables, and the bar.
it’s like a bunny in a room full of wolves. or those scenes where scooby and shaggy are in a dark room and a thousand red eyes pop up to blink at them. the eyes to you ratio is beginning to get a little mind boggling now that he sees it in a real life setting. this is not the handful of guys checking you out when you go to the library with him or the nth guy staring at you when you walk past with your boyfriend next to you. this is a huge club with you in the middle and catching the eye of almost every guy in here, most of whom come to this place with plans of taking a girl home or putting moves on her. 
the thought manifests itself when a blonde frat bro walks up to you and tries to dance with you. suguru’s heart stops a little for some reason. he’s seen guys come up to you before, actually talking to you and trying to get your number, so he shouldn’t feel this irked when he knows the guy is going to be disappointed by your answer. he actually wants to go up to the guy and beat his face in.
the surge of pride that courses through his body is immense when he sees you put a hand between you and the guy and you make an annoyed face, all before strutting off and making your way back to the table. 
he manspreads a little more for you to sit between his legs, draping one arm on your thigh, the other holding onto his whiskey.
“a guy tried to dance with me,” you huff when you sit down, reaching for suguru’s drink, which he hands over without a second thought, now using the other free hand to fully hug you.
“I saw,” he says, perching his chin your shoulder, watching as you take a sip of the whiskey and cradle the cup in your hands.
“dance with me,” you turn to look at him and pout, “i don’t want guys coming up to me.”
“but you look so good rejecting them.” suguru teases, smirking a little at you
when your face deapans, he laughs and hugs you tighter, “we’ll go in a bit. rest your pretty feet for a second, don’t want them to tire out.”
“okay,” you slump into his hold, pouting
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and suguru did keep his promise, like always. he took you dancing after a few minutes of rest and letting you drink the rest of his whiskey.
he protected you from any other guys trying to come up to you, evident in the way no guys even dared get close from a ten feet radius.
he kept you close and let you dance with him, hands appreciatively holding onto you when you pressed your body against his. it was much different to the dancing from that first time at satoru’s party, he was really holding onto you this time. his hands always found your ass, your hips, even the underside of your boobs during every second of every song.
and suguru isn’t a jealous guy, so it was a little weird to you when you saw him notice a guy oogling you and he immediately pulled you in to makeout with him on the dancefloor. it was unlike any other makeout session you had ever had with him before. he was gripping your ass while his other hand held your neck, that wasn’t new, he always did that, but his energy about it was so…all consuming. 
all you know, is that instantly had you horny and you couldn’t help the mewl you let out after he squeezed you in his hold.
“let’s go,” he spoke a bit tensely into your ear so you could hear him past the music.
and you were never one to go against him because everything suguru did always made sense and worked for you, so you nodded mindlessly and said, “okay.”
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when you got to suguru’s apartment, he immediately pushed you against the door and resumed the makeout session he had started at the club. one of his hands was planted against the door while the other roughly gripped your waist to keep you close to him. 
“If you ever see toji, i want you to run the other direction,” he spoke ominously against your lips
the command had you furrowing your eyebrows, you mean of course yes you'd do that, but you never would’ve thought he’d ask it from you. he never really cared to address your actions when it came towards other guys. suguru wasn’t ever jealous…nonetheless, you agree meekly, taken aback by his roughness, “okay.”
all your boyfriend did in response was let out a gruff sound of acknowledgement before pressing his body further against yours and beginning to tug your dress off. he started by pushing down the straps, then pushing the upper half down, including your strapless bra until your tits popped out. 
he pushed both of them together the moment they peeked out and then let a glob of spit drop down onto one of your nipples rather obscenely before he went down to mouth at that same breast. it had you keening, you could feel your thong becoming nonexistent with the way you were starting to drench through it.
a bite from suguru had you squeaking before he continued his ministrations on your other breast while his hands worked on pushing the rest of your dress all the way down, even your thong since it caught onto the tight material of the dress.
you were left completely naked in front of him now and he manhandled you by suddenly picking you up and pinning you against the wall next to the door. he let one hand hold one of your legs to his waist, while the other went under and quickly swiped a finger across your folds with ease due to the wetness
“so easy baby,” he muttered against your lips before plunging a finger all the way in and curving it upwards
“you’re being mean,” you complain, feeling completely flustered at his brash actions
“what’s so mean about making you feel good hm?” he leans back to get a good look at you when he plunges another finger in and starts to push them in and out quickly, watching as your eyebrows knit and you start to mewl, “atta girl.”
“nothing,” you mumble, brainless as you wrap your arms around his neck and hook him in closer with your legs, “ow!”
he started adding a third finger when he felt like you were starting to open up more, however your small complaint started dying into a moan when he increased his pace with the third finger. 
“that’s a lot sugu,” you heave through delirious breaths, flustered at the fact that he was staring so intensely at how you were sucking him in
your comment had him finally looking up at you and you dont know if you’d rather he go back to staring at your pussy, because he was giving that same intense stare to you now. the all heavy pressure of his gaze was entirely being directed at your own eyes now, and how could you meet that same gaze equally when he was three fingers into you and making you moan like a slut.
suguru might have granted you a quick mercy when he leaned against you, quickening the pace of his fingers so you could get louder, and breathed into your ear, muttering lowly, “my cock’s a lot more than three fingers but you always cream all over it.”
the dirty sentence has you pulling suguru closer to you, and trying to trap him where he was so you wouldn’t have to look at him in the flustered state he put you in. but your boyfriend didn’t have it, forcing himself out of your grip, and craning his neck back to go back to looking at you.
he pulled out all three of fingers just to land a sharp slap across your pussy before plunging all of them into you again, “let me watch you baby. be good for me, okay?”
he honestly expects you to be able to answer him when three of his very large fingers are stretching you wide open and curling on that one spot that always has you crumbling, you know he expects you to because he turns his head a little when you don’t answer and lands another slap before going back to fingering you.
“speak up princess,” he orders so easily and so sweetly, like he’s not torturing your body right now
and you do your best to force the words out of you, legs quivering and resisting the urge to writhe in his grasp when you gasp, “ok–okay.”
“good girl,” he almost groans with a snarl as he suddenly stops fingering you open and hoists you over his shoulder, a squeal leaves your mouth at the action.
he’s walking you both to his bedroom, you notice from the path of his hallway made out from your view, and the realization doesn’t last long before suguru brings you down again, then pushes you down and bends you over his bed. he lands a slap to your ass and you can makeout the rustle of him getting naked when he says softly, “grab the pillows and put them under your stomach angel.”
and you listen, reaching easily for both of his large and fluffy pillows, and putting them under your abdomen.
you feel suguru’s heavy length press against your ass and bare pussy when he presses up against you, gripping onto the crease between your thighs and ass, and starts mouthing hot and heavy kisses across your spine. you whine a complaint at the fact that you feel so good, but you know you could feel so much better if he just put it in already.
“what?” suguru notices the pitch that you always make when you’re complaining, continuing his line of affection down your spine
“put it in,” you pout, wiggling your ass for emphasis and hissing a little when you feel his cock graze your lips at the action
suguru gives a last kiss to the bottom of your spine before coming back up and grabbing a fistful of your hair and bringing your head up so he could look at you, “how bad do you want it?”
“really bad sugu.” you mewl, feeling gratification from the sting of his hold on you
“you want me to fill up your little hole? even when we both know you’re gonna start crying that it’s beating your pussy up, yeah?” he questions cruelly 
“mhm,” you nod pathetically, “even if i do.”
his lips twitch a little at your admission and he yanks on your hair a little harder when he lands a sloppy kiss on your lips that has a string of saliva connecting both of your mouths when he pulls away.
he stands back up and lands another stinging slap across your ass, groaning, “my pretty fuckin ass.”
as if he couldn’t get any dirtier, suguru then grabs either of your cheeks and spreads them apart to get a good view of your sex, the sudden exposure of which makes you feel even wetter. that last fact seems of no use to suguru when you feel a large glob of spit land and run down your hole.
you suck in breath when you feel suguru start to rub his tip across your folds.
“sloppy little pussy,” he mutters before pressing into you. and you both groan when he starts to inch himself in even further.
the moan you let out when he completely pulled out and slammed back in was sinful and the noises that followed when he started doing that again and again at a faster pace without mercy had you outright screaming. 
you felt like you were constantly breathless, constantly trying to breathe. he hadn’t ever been this hard on you before.
and you thought you knew what hard was from him before.
“i know, i know,” he whispered against your neck when he pressed himself down against you and started jackhammering even closer to your cervix, so on point with your gspot too that you felt your orgasm starting to build up
a particular gutteral squeal from you had him breathing a “so cute” while he never relented his brutish force against you
“sugu–sugu,” you reached around for one of his arms, heaving, grabbing onto it while he violently moved the both of you, “i’m gonna–mmm–i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum!”
the confession had suguru suddenly changing positions, hooking his arms up and under your armpits to pull you up to stand flush against his body while he slammed up against you ferociously. it unexpectedly had your high crashing against you after a graze of your gspot.
“that’s it baby, that’s it.” suguru consoled when he felt you twitch in his hold and your juices dripping all over his abdomen and cock, “such a good fucking girl.”
all you wanted to do was fall down and rest, but the most you could muster was letting your body go limp in your boyfriend’s unrelenting hold, letting him use you as he pleased.
“ ‘s too much sugu,” you whined as the overstimulation started kicking in
It didn’t get him to stop at all.
“remember what you said earlier hm?” he brought up, breathing heavy as he lifted a foot up to plant it against the edge of the bed. it was leverage for the scream worthy pace he started forcing on you now.
tears started to fall down your cheeks at the overstimulation. it was so good, too good. It was all so sinfully good. 
you felt your walls start to flutter again at your second nearing orgasm when you sniffled from the tears. and although your boyfriend still evilly abused your pussy, he leaned down and moved your face to the side with one hand so he could be face to face with you. 
you thought he was going to kiss you, but instead he started licking your tears off.
it was the catalyst for your orgasm and you thrashed rather hard against suguru, who you could feel suck in a breath at the sporadic clenches of your pussy.
“fuck,” he breathed harshly, pulling you even tighter against him to more easily meet his thrusts and you could feel his cock twitch as a symptom of his incoming orgasm.
that, and he started to speak up filthily.
“Mine–mine–mine–mine.” he reiterated quickly, punctuating each time with a thrust, “fuck ‘s all mine. god can’t get enough of you pretty baby. so fucking slutty and pretty. fuck–fuck–next time i see toji giving you heart eyes im gonna pump my cum inside you so he can see it running down your fucking legs. fuck–you like that baby? what–a–good–good–fucking–girl. tell me you want that baby.”
scrambling for any piece of sanity just to tell your boyfriend what he wants to hear, in hopes of spurring his lust, you moan out weakly, “i want it sugu i want it.”
“yeah? you want him to see me dripping out of your pretty fuckin pussy? god–i fucking–want–it. he’ll never get to fucking know what it’s like to cream this little hole.”
“so–so dirty sugu,” you moan sheepishly at the embarrassing realization that he might just make you cum a third time because of the added spur of his pussy drunk words. 
“pussy’s fucking dirty,” snarls back at you, pulling you closer to him, “can feel you clenching around me. know you fucking like it.”
the shut down of his words had you shaking in attraction to his ability to shut you up like no other.
“never–forget–you’re–mine,” he thrusts through, “ ‘s fucking pussy, your ass, your tits, your body, your pretty fucking face, ‘s all mine. you don’t need anybody but me. i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours. ‘s dick ‘s all yours, everything, baby. take it–take it–take it.” 
his breathing was starting to get heavier and you could feel his abs start twitching against you, a sign of his orgasm building up just as yours was all over again.
so it surprised you when suguru pulled out and threw you onto the bed, your legs hanging off the edge before he picked them up and slanted them up against his body by hugging them close. “come here, come here,” he quickly let one arm go for a second to guide himself into you again before wrapping it around your legs again. he repositioned the one leg of his back on top of the bed for his leverage and leaned forward a bit to go back to his brutal thrusts. 
“wanna see your face when you cum again.” he muttered as he stared at you squealing and moaning lewdly at his ministrations
suguru started kissing and mouthing at your calves while keeping you in a deadlock of eye contact. his cheeks and ears were tinged pink and his hair had fallen out of the half up half down do he had it in earlier. 
the worshipping of your legs and eye contact had to have been the last straw for you, because after a certain lick of your skin, you started crashing, feeling yourself let go across the entire lower half of your boyfriend, resisting the urge to cover your face in embarrassment because he recently made it a point that he really really liked seeing your face when you came.
the point was proven when he followed soon after you, thrusting half haphazardly into you as he blew his load inside of you in time with every squeeze of your cunt. it was accompanied by a litter of painful bites across your calves and heavy breathing from your boyfriend. he looked like he came hard, it felt like he did, considering how every spurt of his cum was sharply thrusted into you, making you wince in pain every time his tip kissed your cervix.
both of you were breathing heavily after, especially suguru, his skin covered in a thicker veil of sweat than you, who was simply taking all of that force he was exerting. he was still holding onto your legs, resting his forehead on the bare skin of your foot that wasn’t covered by your heel. 
his eyes were closed and he licked his lips, a bit tired, as he spoke, “i think i do get jealous after all, i’m sorry.”
his confession made you slightly clench around him, making him suck a breath in at the sensitivity while you breathlessly giggled, “that’s okay, i never said you couldn’t.”
suguru lazily bit your calf again as a sign of retaliation, "you could sound less excited."
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